#as soon as people started to mind their words and more lgbtq characters were seen in media. she wouldve jumped on that.

[apple-enjoyer]

I don't understand gaylors bc if Taylor swift was in any way lgbtq she would've capitalized off of it as soon as it became profitable.

#like obvs at first she would still be in the closet bc casual homophobia was so ingrained in american culture. #but as soon as gay marriage became legalized or some shit #as soon as people started to mind their words and more lgbtq characters were seen in media. she wouldve jumped on that.

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

#community #jeff winger #trans jeff winger #GOD i'm gonna make a video essay about it if nobody stops me #yall know that youtube channel AreTheyGay? i want to be that but AreTheyTrans #the videos would just b like... jeff community. neo the matrix. bill and ted bill and ted. audrey little shop of horrors. jo little women. #maybe i should start that youtube channel sjdfklsj #thank you for prompting me to talk about this because i think about it twice a day #i might end up reblogging this and just adding different responses jeff has had to casually homophobic/transphobic things that happen #in the show #like the episode that last photo is from when the dean is like #'spring transfer student dance isn't rolling off the tongue so we're calling it The Tr@nny Dance!' 'much more greendale.' #OH AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PIERCE'S DAD!!! HOW DID I NOT MENTION THAT EARLIER SJFKLSJ #'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!' #alright i need to do my homework now ajfklsdjfl

[mirkwoodshewolf]

A new kind of competition RA on the Masked singer pt. 1

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well like I said on my last post, this is the 1st part of my Masked Singer chapter. And let me just tell you after literally MONTHS of trying to figure out a playlist for this chapter I FINALLY came to a good playlist that I could see the Rock Angel doing if she were to compete in the Masked Singer. So follow along and listen to the songs I’ve listed if you really wanna get into the mood of it and I hope you all enjoy this fun little chapter and until next time :)

Taglist:

@bohemiansweede

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@ixchel-9275

@simonedk

@queensdivas

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queendeakyy

@5sos-wdw

@wormzteef

@geek-and-proud

@starswin

@labessieisallama

@isabella-bby

@naturalswifty89

@ssa-sadboi

@onebigfangirlworld

_________________________________________________________

*February 2021*

This was a whole new game changer for me, but I’m happy I signed up for it.  While visiting my son Georgie (through a very brief period when the pandemic was at a standstill, before the States closed down again), I had been asked by the Producers of NBC’s “The Masked Singer” if I’d be willing to participate in the show.

Having seen the show through Youtube videos and even seeing the UK’s version of it back home during our lockdown, I immediately hopped on board and said I would do it.  But of course being as secretive as this show was, they forbad me from telling anyone or announcing it on Social media, if I even breathed a word of my appearance on the show to anyone, they’d revoke it and kick me out of the show.

The character that they had chosen for me was the Lioness and boy was she a gorgeous creature.  Much like how they had the Lion all the way back in Season one, she was pure gold however she wasn’t covered with armor like the Lion was. I had asked for some flexibility to the outfit cause I wanted to give the audience a side of me that they’ve never seen before.  I wanted to be able to move much like Bow-Wow did on the last season of the Masked Singer as the Frog.

They took some of my ideas into consideration on allowing the outfit to have that flexibility for me to dance my heart out. I wore platform high-heeled boots much like I always did back when I first started off as the Rock Angel.

I also wanted to honor Freddie in a way with my outfit.  I had asked for the gloves if it could be possible if we could add some diamond claws. I showed them (whatever pictures I could find of the 1974 Rainbow concert. Thank you all for the lovely gifs) just so they could get the idea and when the costume dept. saw it, they fell in love with the idea.  They even agreed to shape the diamonds as real lioness claws.

Once the costume was fully complete and I got to put it on for the first time, it felt like I had actually become The Lioness. Of course it came with a price too, I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone, even when I just had to go around with the mask, I was given the famed DON’T TALK TO ME black hoodie so that no one was able to hear my real voice.

I was also forbidden from talking to the other contestants as well as hear them rehearse until we would begin filming the episodes.  I was placed into GROUP B along with creatures such as the Piglet, Black Swan, the Chameleon, and Grandpa Monster.  I was also told that there would be some major game changers this season but no one, not even the judges knew just what those changes were, only the Host.

Weeks and weeks of rehearsals and performing each of my songs that I had picked out and wanted to do, never did I think I’d get as far as I did.  But I could care less about the trophy, I just enjoy singing and this was a whole new game changer cause now my fans get to see a whole new side of me that they never do get to see on stage with me.

Sure I’ve had courage to go up on stage constantly, overcome every obstacle known to man, hell even stay a sane person after having a rough childhood, but the Lioness has given me courage to do things that I’ve never done before on stage, whether performing with my boys, by myself, or with other singers that I’ve performed/toured with.  Back then or present day.

And I hope you all can guess correct just who is beneath the Lioness mask. Enjoy my dears.

*GROUP B PREMIERE EPISODE*

“Alright! Alright! Alright!” the current host of MS5 Niecy Nash said after the last contestant Black Swan performed her opening song.  “Now this next contestant is gonna prove that she belongs on this stage. Give it up….for the Queen herself! The Lioness!”

The crowd cheered and I walked out with the Men in Black strutting down with pride in each step.  I greeted the audience with the royal wave before standing next to Niecy.  Even though I could vaguely see out of this mask, I still had some sense of the stage.

“Oooo girl you are stunning to look at look at this ya’ll ain’t see a Queen or what?!”

“She looks amazing!” I heard Jenny exclaim.

“Yeah I’m jealous look at those claws of hers. I wish I had those.” Nicole stated.  I gave them a sexy clawing motion with my hands as they all hooted and hollered.

“I agree with you Nicole. Now let’s find out some clues on just who this Queen Lioness is.” Through the TV, I knew my first clue package would be playing.  Here’s out it went down.

You would see a 3 layered rock platform, on smaller rock, one slightly taller in the middle and finally a large boulder that stood tall like a throne with me sitting on top of it.

“Welcome to my Pride. Being the top lioness isn’t always easy but it’s all worth it in the end. Something that I believe the world could benefit from.” The screen would change to me walking along a virtual plain with various animals.  “Growing up, we weren’t allowed to really show our true colors as much as we can now. If you were even slightly different from the rest of the world, you were condemned.” A zebra with the LGBTQ patterns for its stripes came up.

“An LGBTQ flag. Could be a member of it.” Pointed out Robin Thicke.

“But it still hurts me to see that even as society begins to change, there are those that still cling to the old ways of life.”

“Maybe a politician. This is a lot of politics going on here.” Nicole stated.  The screen changed to me holding the world in the palm of my hands.  I crushed the world down.

“I just hope that one day the world will come to understand that we are all One people, one world.” I opened my hands up and soon a rainbow appeared before ending my 1st clue package.

The stage was dark except for one spotlight shining down on me.  Well more like half of me, half of my body remained in the shadows while the other half was sparkling under the spotlight as I spoke with my American accent, the voice modulator turning off for my performance.

“We are a nation with multi-graphic boundaries. Bound together through our beliefs. We are like-minded individuals, sharing a common vision. Pushing toward a world rid of color loins.” Already I could see that people were trying to figure out who I was by hearing my real voice, but due to me American accent and natural British accent being two completely different voices, it was throwing people for a loop.

I then did Janet’s famed countdown with my right hand before the song came on full force and I and my backup dancers began to dance the Rhythm Nation dance.  ALL in perfect unison.

The crowd went insane and I could even see the judges standing up in shock as well as cheering.  I strutted towards the mic stand at the corner of the stage and began to sing.  My natural alto range came forth and I could see the audience singing along and even do some of the dance moves to the song, especially once the chorus hit.

I strutted across the stage before I would rejoin and lead the pride that was my dancers in the famed dance, before strutting forward on the stage, coaxing the audience to cry the chorus out loudly.

*Me*

With music by our side To break the color lines Let's work together To improve our way of life Join voices in protest To social injustice A generation full of courage Come forth with me

People of the world today Are we looking for a better way of life We are a part of the rhythm nation People of the world unite Strength in numbers we can get it right One time (Sing it up!) We are a part of the rhythm nation

My backup dancers and I then did probably the most difficult dance break that Janet had set for all dancers to perform in perfect unison.

“She’s has got this dance DOWN!!” exclaimed Nicole.

“This has to be a natural singer!” Jenny told Robin who agreed.

“No question!”

*Me*

Rhythm Nation baby!

Sing it for the children Sing it for the people

Rhythm Nation baby

Sing it for the man!

We are a part of a Rhythm Nation!

My dancers and I saluted and the crowd went absolutely berserk from my first number.

“Yaas Queen!” I heard Niecy exclaim as she came up to me.  “Lioness all up here slaying it!” I gave a graceful bow (as low as I could go without the mask falling off) and she said. “Judges what did you all think of our lovely Lioness’s performance.”

“Niecy you don’t need to say anything else cause you summed it up! I think we are in the presence of a true performer here.” Nicole first started off.

“Agreed. Never did we see someone actually have the guts to pull off—probably one of the hardest choreography dances ever!” Jenny agreed.

“Alright judges now you know the drill. It’s time to put your first impression guesses into the tour bus.” I could see some of them complaining as they wrote down their guesses on who I was as the little tour bus came through to collect their First Impression guesses.  “Now then, do any of you have any clues on just who this Queen of the Beasts could be, let’s start with you Mr. Robin.”

“Wha Me? Oh man….” The rest of the panel laughed at his misery while I mimed a laugh by putting my hand to my opened mouth mask. “I mean—this could literally be anyone but based off the clue package she spoke a lot about the world and people around it. So this definitely isn’t someone who is recently famous. She’s been around for a while.”

“Whatcha trying to say Robin that she’s old?” Niecy defended me as I got into a fighting position.

“Oh Robin you’re about to get mauled by the Lioness!” Ken teased him.

“No, no, no, no! Not insinuating anything!”

“Cause you know you never insult a woman’s age there Robin Thicke!” Niecy exclaimed.

“Tell him mommy!” Ken cheered.

“Sit down Kenneth!”

“Yes ma’am.” He said as he sat down on his chair.

“Where I was going with this is that maybe she came from an era where it wasn’t okay to bring about your sexuality or gender.”

“True, true.” Nicole agreed with him.

“And seeing the LGBTQ pattern on the zebra, I’m thinking this might be Shea Diamond.”

“Okay, okay not a bad guess.”

“I’m afraid I’m gonna have to disagree with you there Robin. I’ve listened to Shea Diamond sing and that’s not her.” Ken said.

“Then who do you think it is Ken?” asked Nicole.

“Okay I know exactly who this is.” Oh god here we go. “Okay from the clue package alone there was obviously the LGBTQ brand with the Zebra. Maybe she’s an advocate for the LGBTQ community. I’m going with Lady Gaga!”

Okay not a bad guess but it’s not her.  I could see some of the audience pondering Ken Jong’s rare, good guesses.

“Well Lioness whoever you are, you are a star.” Jenny stated as she pointed at me.  I blew her a kiss and Niecy said.

“Now Lioness before we go, I have to ask you. How long did it take you to do that dance?” I put the mic up to the thinnest part of my mask and answered with my voice modulator now on, making me sound like a warm, motherly Chipette.

“It took months actually, but I’m a fast learner when it comes to dancing.” I hinted that little clue and only my super fans would realize that I love to dance, especially when it was with my Brother Mine back in the day.

“Okay. Well give it up one more time for the Lioness!” the crowd applauded and I waved goodbye before walking off the stage.

After all the performances of Group B went, we all lined up and found out just who among us was going home for the first round in our group.  It was suspenseful but the votes were in and Grandpa Monster was the one to be eliminated from the first round.

I was safe for now.  I just hope I can keep going on and maybe go all the way.

*ROUND 2*

It was now Round 2 and I was going to perform after the Chameleon.  I heard him do the song “21 Questions” by 50 Cent ft. Nate Dogg.  I’ll admit he was an impressive performance, especially with how he can rap so my best guess is that he could be a rapper.  Unfortunately, I’m not quite educated in my rappers (plus one rapper in particular still gives me a bad vibe after what he did) so I wouldn’t know who to begin guessing if I were an audience member.

After going to a commercial break it was now time for me to perform my second song choice that both me and the Producers thought would be a good fit for me.

“This Queen last time she crushed it with Janet’s Rhythm Nations, and now she’s back to hopefully crush it once more. Let’s dig up some more clues on the Lioness.”

The next clue package stood as followed:

“I’ll admit, 1st round I was terrified. Never have I done something like this before. But once I got up on stage, I overcame that fear and just sang. In fact, it was music that helped me overcome my shyness.” I told the camera.

I opened up a closet and inside it was my Red Special guitar, a pair of drum sticks and a Fender Bass guitar (the one that Deacy always played with).

“Growing up I had very low self-esteem. I was shy, insecure, and thought I’d never amount to anything.”

“Aww that’s so sad.” Nicole awed.  “Don’t worry I’ve been there too honey.”

“But when I found music, it changed my life. I would become a whole different person everytime I played an instrument. Or just sang to myself.” I picked up the Bass guitar and strummed it. “I especially loved the Rock and Roll artists growing up. Just seeing them perform live, gave me the confidence I needed to one day reach a dream of becoming a Rockstar myself. And low and behold it came true.”

I was now performing on stage with the Men in Black surrounding me pretending to be crazy fans holding up signs with hearts and I love you Lioness.

“So I’m here to say that if you feel like you’re alone out there in the world, or feel like it’s against you. Just listen and jam out to some of your fav tunes. Because in them, Life creates a new path for you.” I did a wind-mill and my mask gave a gleam at the right eye, symbolizing a wink.

The lights were dark and I took a deep breath in before exhaling out.  Soon the guitar strum of “Eye of the Tiger” came on before I threw my fist in the air with each punch the guitar gave, while fire spurted from the stage.

The crowd cheered as Survivor’s most popular song came through the speakers and I went up to the mic stand and sung my heart out. I changed a word or two just to make it fit more towards me but it didn’t take away the effect my song had on the audience.

The backup band was jamming out to the song with one lioness on the guitar and a male lion at the drums and another male one on the bass.  I belted out the last note

*Me*

Rising up, back on the street Did my time, took my chances Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet Just a girl and her will to survive

So many times it happens too fast You trade your passion for glory Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past You must fight just to keep them alive

It's the eye of the tiger It's the thrill of the fight Rising up to the challenge of our rival And the last known survivor Stalks her prey in the night And she's watching us all with the eye

Of the Tiger

The eye of the tiger The eye of the tiger The eye of the Lioness

At the very last explosion of fireworks and fire, I punched my hand in the air and the crowd cheered.

“YASSS LIONESS!!!” I could hear Nicole cheering from the panel booth as she pointed at me.  Ken Jong, Jenny and Robin all bowed before my performance as Niecy came back up and she said.

“And the Queen slays us AGAIN!!” I bowed before her and took her hand and pressed it to my open mouth giving her a ‘kiss’. “Oh and I’m getting a royal kiss from the Queen herself!”

“Lucky mommy!” Ken proclaimed.

“Sit your butt down son! Panel, what did you think of that song?”

“Lioness, you took us to a real rock concert. I mean the fire, the electric guitar. And I think I even saw you doing a little air guitar in there somewhere!” Jenny said.  I shrugged guiltily.  Yeah I did do a little air guitar, come on I know you all do it too! “But that was a killer performance!” I bowed my head in gratitude.

“What made you choose that song in particular?” Niecy asked me.

“It’s always a good rock anthem. You can just let yourself loose and not have a care in the world. And it really got me through my 1st year of being who I am today.” That got the panelists attention.

“Alright so we went through your personal journal and found out just who exactly your childhood crush was. Men in Black! Bring out the 1st crush clue!” Niecy announced as two of the men in Black came out with a large flat platform with a sheet over it.  “I’m excited to see just who it is you had a crush on. Now let’s see who it is…..”

Niecy took off the sheet and it revealed the late great Prince.

“It’s Prince!” exclaimed Nicole.

“Okay! Okay I see you Lioness! Little chocolate love there.” I laughed and said into my microphone.

“First thing I always notice about a man are his eyes. And growing up, Prince stole my heart with those eyes.”

“You sure it wasn’t also his dance moves?” Niecy asked me with a ‘for real’ look.

“Mm that too.” Everyone laughed before Niecy asked the judges.

“Okay so any guesses panel on just who this could be? Let’s start with you Jenny.”

“Oh my god why!?” we all laughed. “Okay going off by the tonality of your voice. You are truly a Rock star under there, there’s no way you could be a Pop artists or rapper under there. And my guess in Pink.”

A very good guess. In fact when Pink came on the music scene, everyone thought she was trying to copy my voice but she’s a total talented artist on her own. That’s all her voice, and I’m proud to have not only mentored her, but become her very dearest friend and confidant.

“Yeah it does kinda sound like Pink. But the clues didn’t really point out to her.” Nicole said.

“What you thinking Scherzinger?” Niecy asked.

“Okay so we saw LGBTQ last time but I also took notice of the instruments that were in this week’s clue package.  The red guitar specifically.” Oh shit she’s got it. “And I remember seeing this performer on my 12th birthday. I’m going with the Rock Angel (Y/n) Kline.”

“Ooo okay. Not a bad guess Nicole.”

“Yeah it could be the Rock Angel but it’s not!” Ken bluntly said.

“Oh god here we go again.” Jenny said as she flopped against her chair.

“In the clue package we did see the guitars and the drumsticks. And Sticks rhymes with what? Nicks. Stevie Nicks welcome to the Masked Singer!” Oh god Ken.

No way could I ever be compare to Stevie Nicks! She’s way above me and no way could I ever be better than her or do her vocal ranges like she can do.

“Ken I swear I’m about to hit you in the head with this pen.” Nicole said.

“Alright, alright, alright calm down up there. Look no matter who is under here, let’s agree that the Lioness gave yet another rockin performance. Give it up for the Lioness everybody!” I walked backstage.

“The panel has given some good guesses. But there’s gonna be surprised to see just who I am. And—”

On your screens it would’ve staticed up and there on screen is the infamous Rooster with clues, Cluedle-Doo.  The rooster that’s been helping the viewers at home guess just who is under each mask, while also trying to get people to guess who he is.

“So sorry Lioness but I’m here to give the audience a little bit more than you’re letting on. Don’t let her voice fool you for she’s a Lioness that lives……across the pond.” His deep voice spoke to the camera as he walked over to his map with a pushpin pointed right at England.

“Hold on what was that? Something fishy is going on around here, and I’m gonna find out what.” I told the camera as I waved my fist.

A couple more performances later as well as the reveal of our group’s Wildcard, The Crab and it was time to reveal who was going to be unmasked.  I almost feared that I was gonna be the one to go home since Nicole had said my name and the fans would demand that I be unmasked.

But when Niecy read out that the Crab was gonna have to be unmasked I sighed with relief but I was also sad for the crab. He actually performed well tonight and I wanted to see just how far he was gonna go.  As me and the rest of the group that was safe headed back to our rooms, I kept thinking to myself just how was I gonna make it through without making my voice sound too obvious.

*ROUND 3*

 Okay. This round is sure to throw them off my scent this time.  This is a song I’d never thought I’d do but it’s the only way to keep me going to the next round and not risk getting unmasked.

“Her last two performances have been killer! Now it’s time to see what else she’s got up her paws. Release, the Lioness!” Niecy announced.

The LIONESS; THE CLUES.

I was staring into my reflection at a watering hole.

“This has been a wild ride for me. Most fun I’ve ever had in years.” The letters MSG flashed on the screen written within the mud.

“MSG? Madison Square Garden?” asked Ken.

“But I’m here to show that I truly belong here and deserve a shot to go the Distance.”

“Go the Distance. Isn’t that a song from a Disney film?” asked Robin.

“Yeah Hercules. Could she be in an adaptation of Hercules?” Jenny said.

“So for this next performance, I’m gonna do a song I’ve never done before, and hopefully that will keep me in with the pride and out of the spotlight for just a little while longer.”

I stood there with the spotlight on me, the mic stand right in front of me as Miley Cyrus’s song “Wrecking Ball” came on.  The last time this song had been used on this show was way back during Season 1 with Mrs. Gladys Knight.  And she did a phenomenal job with her rendition of the song.  However I had a little something extra up my sleeve.

I started off with a smooth, ballad like tone for the opening using my hands and arms to give forth a more deeper emotion as I sang the song.  Before I finally unleashed the fire within me.

Like Freddie always did back in the day when Queen first started off, I tore the mic stand off the rest of it and fell into the passion of the chorus using the mic-stand like a sledgehammer when I could. I could see everyone lip-syncing the chorus and even the judges were singing along to the song.

I went back to my ballad like tone as I was kneeling on the ground looking up towards the heavens before standing back up and slowly walked towards the back of the stage as the lights dimmed down to only a spotlight on me.

When the 2nd chorus came back on, I pulled out my big surprise.  When the lights came fully on, a makeshift Wrecking ball stood in the middle of the stage. In order for me to fully be on it with this costume, the Wrecking ball was built around a swing-set and was hidden within the walls of the Wrecking ball, but I could stick my feet through a curtain that would give the illusion of me actually being on a Wrecking Ball (much like Miley was).

Everyone in the audience was losing their minds, I even saw Nicole getting really into the song as she would raise and circle her arms in the air.  I kept swinging back and forth as I continued to sing until my final note.

*Me*

We clawed, we chained, our hearts in vain We jumped, never asking why We kissed, I fell under your spell A love no one could deny

Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball I never hit so hard in love All I wanted was to break your walls All you ever did was wreck me Yeah, you, you wreck me

I never meant to start a war I just wanted you to let me in And instead of using force I guess I should've let you win I never meant to start a war I just wanted you to let me in I guess I should've let you win

Don't you ever say I just walked away I will always want you

I came in like a wrecking ball I never hit so hard in love All I wanted was to break your walls All you ever did was wreck me

I  came in like a wrecking ball Yeah, I just closed my eyes and swung Left me crashing in a blazing fall All you ever did was wreck me Yeah, you, you wreck me

Yeah, you, you wreck me

This was probably my best performance of this entire competition.  No way was the audience gonna unmask me yet.  I got off of my makeshift Wrecking Ball and Niecy came up bowing before me.

“OH MY GOD!!!” Nicole and Jenny both exclaimed.

“The Queen remains on top!” at that point the crowd began cheering my character in a rhythm clap.

“LI-ON-ESS! LI-ON-ESS! LI-ON-ESS!!!” I coaxed them to keep chanting with my hands, going in time with their claps.

“Pardon my language but that performance definitely had balls.” Niecy said which made all of us laugh.  

“This is definitely the first time in Masked Singer history that someone was even able to do that with costumes like these.” Robin said.

“Lioness tell us how do you feel after that performance?” asked Niecy.

“Tired.” That got a good laugh out of the audience and the panel. “But it’s all worth it cause it’s either go big or go home. And I definitely do not wanna go home just yet.”

“Well we definitely don’t want you to go Superstar.” Jenny told me.  I gave her a heart shape ‘I Love you’ with my hand and pointed at her and she accepted it and sent one back to me.

“So any clues that you guys might’ve picked up on?”

“I’ll start off.” Ken said.

“Oh boy, here we go.” Robin said as Nicole laughed and I placed my hands on my hips.  This outta be good Dr. Ken.

“Okay so in this clue package we saw the acronym MSG. What’s that stand for? Madison. Square. Garden. This actress was born in Manhattan, NY. She can sing because she played a Porcupine in a film this my friends is none other than Black Widow herself, SCARLETT JOHANSSON!!”

“No! No way that’s Scarlett!” exclaimed Jenny.

“Have you seen the movie Sing? That’s totally her voice!”

“No it’s not!” Jenny argued back.

“Maybe not but Lioness might be connected to Scarlett in a way.”

“What you got cooking in that brain of yours Mr. Robin Thicke?” Niecy asked him.

“Well going through the clue package we saw the LGBTQ obviously, she is known for speaking up for the community especially since a few friends of hers are a part of that community. I’m gonna go with Nicole and say this is the Rock Angel.”

“Okay. Okay not a bad guess.”

“Just hearing the voice alone it just makes me think of her.”

“Yeah but the Rock Angel wouldn’t be able to do what Lioness did.” Jenny tried to argue.

Oh she don’t know me very well, does she? I’ve got some moves in these old bones Jenny.

“Well whoever is under that mask. This was definitely your best performance not only for you but for the show itself. I don’t think we’ll ever have a number quite like that again.” Nicole said.

“I agree girlfriend. Alright Lioness, you head on backstage and rest up. You’ve earned it honey.” I waved to the audience and left to go backstage.

“That was probably the—toughest performance of my life. With or without the costume.” I laughed.  “But I gave it my all and win or lose, I’m glad I did this show.”

After the elimination of the newest Wildcard the Bulldog.  Which wasn’t according to the votes, but by Niecy’s own will, Bulldog was revealed to be none other than Nick Cannon.  Who had returned to host the show after recovering from his COVID scare.

It was a huge surprise to see him back and actually competing in the show.  Although he wished he could’ve gone onward with the show but he was just happy to be back with the judges and to see us progress onward into the final few rounds.

After that filming, I was in my trailer resting after that performance, having the fan on full blast to try and take away my sweat, I phone rang and I saw Brian’s handsome, wrinkly face pop up on the screen.

“Hey Bri what’s up?”

‘Oh nothing much really. Just been……fiddling around with Red Special, keeping Anita company, and above all trying not to lose our minds over the lockdown.’

“I hear yah. America’s really been trying to tighten the leash on restrictions. But of course stubborn Americans, especially Trump supporters are still denying this pandemic and refusing to wear their face masks.”

‘Right up arseholes I tell yah. This isn’t some conspiracy thing. It’s real life.’

“I know Brian. But let’s change the subject before you go off on an angry rant and have another heart attack.”

‘You’re right, you’re right sorry. The reason I called was because I want you to clarify something for me.’

“Clarify what?”

‘Well. I don’t know if you’ve seen my Instagram lately. But our followers are telling me that I should ask you if you’re a part of a show called the Masked Singer?’

“The Masked Singer? Which version? Cause you know we’ve recently got one too now.”

‘They’re saying that you could be the Lioness on the American version. Is it true?’

“Bri. Come on. I’m in lockdown with my son during a pandemic, I run on the high risk factor due to my recent high blood pressure. Why would I do a show like that?”

‘They’re pretty adamant about it. So come on (n/n). Tell me the truth.’

“No Brian Harold May. I am not the Lioness. Besides even if I were, it’d be too obvious. Everyone knows I’m Roger’s lion cub. If I were to choose a creature, I’d be a griffin or White-wolf.”

‘Okay. If you say so. Stay safe out there love.’

“You too Bri. Hopefully, America can get their shit together so that I can fly back home soon. I miss you and Rog and Jack. How are they by the way?”

‘Well that husband of yours is still working hard to preserve the peace in London. Hardly any serious criminal activity, just rotter’s not wanting to wear their face masks inside local buildings. Rog is good, he’s been posting up a lot more on his Instagram lately. Been asking about you and worried sick over you.’

“Some things never change. Alright Bri well I know it’s pretty late over there, so get some sleep. You’ve probably never slept in this late in so long your body must be aching for it.”

‘Yeah I suppose your right. Have a good night love. Love you.’

“I love you too Bri. Bye.” He said goodbye and I hung up on him.  “Bloody hell that was close. Thank god he didn’t hit facetime, otherwise he would’ve been suspicious.”

*ROUND 4*

Now it was time to change things up with this weeks performance.  I’ve been giving out killer hard-rock/pop songs but now it was time to allow the audience to just solely focus on my vocals alone.  Plus this performance was in dedication to a very special someone.

“Now here to wow us once again and seeing if we can dig up more clues on her identity. Here’s the Lioness.” Nick Cannon announced.

THE CLUE PACKAGE. THE LIONESS

“Being on this show has really meant a lot to me.” The screen showed my last performance as well as my 1st performance. “But now I’m gonna take things back and really allow you guys to get to know me.”

I was in my ‘house’ writing at my desk a letter. And on the laptop it said a number code. 149121.

“Oh wow a number code. 149121.” Jenny said.

“Throughout my career I’ve met a lot of great people. But unfortunately I’ve had to say goodbye to some of them, some gone far too soon. Others for other personal reasons.”

“So she’s lost someone. Maybe a partner.”

“This one person in particular even though he’s still around physically, I had no choice but to let him go. We practically did everything together. But I understood why he did what he did, and I never pressured him to come back to the spotlight.” I touched a shadow figure of a male lion. “So this performance is for my brother. And I hope he’s living out a happy life doing whatever it is he wants to. I will always love you forever, my Brother Mine.”

It was just me up there with the spotlight down on me.  I took a deep breath in before softly exhaling.  This one’s for you Deacy.  I opened my mouth and sung my next song, “I will always love you” by Whitney Houston.

The audience was in tranced by voice alone, some of them pressing their hands to their hearts and I could swear I saw some of the judges already starting to cry.  When the bridge came up, I thought back to all the memories Deacy and I had together.

Playing the bass, me sitting the Deaklings when they were little babies, us always dancing together at the after parties (after some liquid courage).  To the big moments whenever the two of us were on stage together and we’d interact with each other.

Him doing his “Disco moves” on stage during our sets, or how during the medley’s during the “Kind of Magic tour” we’d be the ones to stand together as he played his bass and I would have my acoustic guitar or tambourine on me.  Remembering his happy smile, the way his eyes wrinkled whenever he’d smile that adorable, gapped tooth smile of his.

*Me*

If I should stay, I would only be in your way

So I'll go, but I know

I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you

I will always love you

I hope life treats you kind

And I hope you have all you've dreamed of

And I wish to you joy and happiness

But above all this, I wish you love

Finally I unleashed the power that my voice had gained throughout the years.  As the lights danced about with the beat of the song as well as my voice, the audience cheered as I belted out that famed last bit of the chorus.  Some were in tears while others were just in awe.  Ken and Nicole were dabbing their eyes trying to rid of their tears while Jenny and Robin were just shaking their heads in pure awe.

I don’t know if you’ll ever see this Brother Mine, but if you do, know that this performance is for you.  I hope you’re happy, safe, and healthy.  Both physically and mentally.

*Me*

And I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always love you

I will always

Love you

I will always love you

I, I will always

Love you

You, darling, I love you

Ooh, I'll always,

I'll always love you

I held out the last note as I slowly extended my arms before finally ending the song.  The audience cheered and applauded for another killer performance.

“Unbelievable! The lioness really pulling the heartstrings now!” Nick said as he came up and stood beside me.  “You even had me going there for a second there Lioness.” I gave him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“Oh my god Lioness, let me just say. Your last few performances you were slaying and killing it with hardcore dancing, rock and roll and semi-aerial stuff. But this week……we truly got to see your voice. And that—rawness it just……you have me in tears.” Nicole said as she continued to wipe away her tears.

“I agree with Nicole.” Robin said.  I gave them a bow of my head.  “It’s—it’s really rare when we see female artists do such songs on this stage. Especially one as difficult as that song in particular. But you were the perfect voice to sing that song.”

“Thank you Robin.”

“Now it’s time to find out just what is inside the Mind of our Lioness. If you would just quickly step on over to our mind-reader. We would like to see just what’s within your Lioness brain.” I walked over to the machine that was gonna give an extra clue as to who I was.  “Scanning, scanning, scanning and it is…..a Police badge.”

I stepped out from the machine and walked back towards Nick.

“Do we have another Jackson family member on our hands?” asked Ken.  I remember thinking back to La Toya Jackson who was “the Alien”.

“Unlike Ms. Jackson I’m not a police officer. But I am directly involved with them.” The audience ooed.

“That give you any guesses panel?” Nick asked.

“Not a single one.” Jenny shook her head which made us laugh.

“Indirectly involved with the police. I mean does that mean she’s an informant? Reality star maybe?” Ken suggested.

“Maybe she played one on TV. Maybe it’s Priyanka Chopra.” Robin added.

“Yeah cause of her role in Quantico.” Nicole agreed.

“No guys I don’t think it’s Priyanka. It really doesn’t sound like her. Lioness has a more richer tone than she does.”

“Well we’re stumped!” Ken said as he sat down on his chair throwing his hands up in surrender.

“Oh now don’t give up son!”

“I can’t do it daddy! Just take off the mask and show us who you are Lioness!” Ken demanded but I shook my head and placed my index finger over my masked lips in shush.

“She knows the drill. Well you wowed us with your vocals, go on and head backstage. Give it up one more time for her royal highness the Lioness everybody.”

“That performance……really took a lot out of me. I was even crying at one point under the mask. But I hope I secured a spot for the Super 8.”  As I take my leave, the infamous Cluedle-Doo shows up and he tells the camera.

“Another infamous secret you might want to know about the Lioness here is that she also has ties in with space. Look at these stars, does it give you any hints? Because 2 people she cares about study it.”

“Oh it’s you! Come back you yah cocky Rooster! I’m really gonna turn you into fried chicken now!” I exclaimed as I chased after the Rooster whose been trying to give away more secrets about me.  He gobbled out in laughter as he ran away.

#queen #queen fanfic #queen x reader #queen fanfiction #queen imagine #queen imagines #queen fandom #brian may fanfiction #brian may #brian may fanfic #brian may x reader #roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor imagines #roger taylor x reader #john deacon #john deacon imagines #john deacon x reader #john deacon imagine #freddie mercury #freddie mercury x reader #freddie mercury imagine #freddie mercury imagines #masked singer #bohemian rhapsody #bohemian rhapsody fanfic #bohemian rhapsody imagines #bohemian rhapsody fanfiction #bohemian rhapsody movie

[elliepassmore]

Blazewrath Games review

5/5 stars Recommended for anyone who like: dragons, magic, urban/low fantasy, competitions, Big Bads, characters of color, LGBTQ+ characters I (obviously) enjoyed this book a lot. There are definitely not enough dragon books out there, in my opinion, and I absolutely loved getting to know all the different dragons in this book and their different powers and homes. I thought the little snippets about the dragons, the Bond, or relevant characters at the beginning of each chapter was helpful and served as a pretty uninstrusive way to introduce lore so we're not learning everything through Lana. I also liked that Ortiz included some real-world dragons from the regions the belong to, such as the hydra and the zmey gorynych, on top of having some dragons specific to this world. The most time is spent with the Sol de Noche dragons, who are awesome badasses at times and then at other times are like puppies. I liked that Ortiz made it so that not every dragon has a Bond, and I thought the mystery around how and why the Bond was formed added realism to the world, since in reality a lot of things in our world really are still big question marks. I also liked that there was the contrast between people who were find with the Bond and people who thought that the Bond was wrong and that all dragons should be Un-Bonded. Blazewrath also seemed like a pretty cool game too, a bit of a mix between Quidditch with only one ball and roller derby. It seems very intense, and I know the players have magical uniforms, but I definitely feel like this has to be a game where people get injured a lot. I have trouble picturing what the arena looks like, but the descriptions of the dragons playing and the running/fighting scenes were cool and I enjoyed those. The cast is pretty diverse, with all of Team Puerto Rico being Puerto Rican (duh), with some of them being mixed Hispanic and Black. Two team members are queer, with Gabriela being bi and Edwin being gay. Samira, Lana's best friend, and her entire family are all Black Americans, there are also Black characters from Zimbabwe, and the team's stylist is also a Black woman. There are also several Middle Eastern characters, some of whom are hijabis. It's mentioned that all of Team Russia is queer as well, with at least one of them in a relationship. The IBF president is also gay and married, and both him and his husband are pretty prevalent throughout the book. There's also a trans woman character in the book, Agent Horowitz, who's in it a bit the beginning and then is seen more frequently at the end. Lana was a character I enjoyed having as a narrator. She's clearly caught between what she wants to do and what some of the other characters (read: mom, Victoria, and even the Sire) want her to do. She sticks to her guns, even if she lets some of that stuff get her down, and is able to succeed when she puts her mind to it. She could be a bit annoying at times, such as when she's fangirling for people to their faces, but overall I liked her character. I'm glad that she got to ride a dragon at least once, and that the Puerto Rican team (human and dragon) bonded with and supported her fairly quickly. She's also a pretty smart character and is able to put some stuff together about the Sire without much additional help. Samira is Lana's best friend and a Copper Wand witch. She's got a very bubbly personality and remains pretty cheerful throughout the book. Samira also seems to be a pretty good detective, and is both eager and good at figuring out some stuff about the Sire and his plans. I'm hoping she shows up in the next book as well and we get more time with her and Lana and some more interactions between Samira and Team Puerto Rico. Team Puerto Rico were mostly likeable, and by 'mostly' I mean 'everyone but Victoria.' They all support Lana in the beginning and are willing to go to bat for her later on. Victoria is...not as willing, but she does warm up and become less of a bitch toward the end and she's likeable in the last 50 or so pages. Manny also isn't that supportive, but he also warms up later in the book, and he was more standoffish than bitchy. Gabriela is definitely the most outgoing of the team members, and she and Luis are pretty close. Luis is, I think, the funny one of the group, even if they all have their moments. Héctor is a bit more serious than Luis, and he definitely gives off 'team captain' vibes. Génesis, like Gabriela, is a fairly upbeat character, and is passionate about rescue animals, and even runs her own shelter when not competing. Edwin is a bit more quiet and soft than the other characters, but he's also willing to do risky things. Joaquín is Manny's adult son, but is world's different from his father (at least until Manny starts warming up more). He obviously really cares about the team and is continually encouraging and supporting them throughout the book. Lana's dad was in the book for a brief period and obviously shares his daughter's love of dragons and is just as stubborn as her. Despite being worried for her safety, he does care about her and supports her decisions, even if he tries to convince her otherwise sometimes. Lana's mom is also in it for only a brief period, but she lets her dislike of dragons and Blazewrath get in the way of supporting Lana, which obviously greatly impacts the latter. Todd, Lana's cousin, is also in it and is just uck. He's definitely got a superiority complex and is the kind of person who gets sucked into some bad ideas very easily simply because the people spouting them pander to his ego and are able to validate his supposed superiority. I'm definitely not looking forward to seeing him in the next book. Samira's family also pops up briefly, and they seem pretty cool. The plot with the Sire was interesting, and I enjoyed figuring things out with Lana and Samira. It definitely wasn't predictable and Ortiz did an excellent job of working in plot twists and reveals. There were so many different layers to the Sire plotline, which intersected with the Blazewrath plotline and the protestors there. I will say that I did think one plot point/revelation was a bit predictable (unrelated to the Sire). As soon as the 'issue' is mentioned at the beginning of the book I knew where it was going to lead. I also enjoyed how the fanaticism of the Sire got played off of the fanaticism of the other side, which wants dragons gone. The ideas and words of both sides are very similar to one another, which I think is realistic, when you consider rea-world fanaticism, and I definitely enjoyed that mirror at the end. Overall, I really enjoyed the book, particularly all the dragons. It wrapped up nicely, so there doesn't really need to be a sequel. There are definitely some hints as to what might be coming next, since the book wrapped up nicely, but not everything got a neat bow, so there are still some loose ends and ideas that could be followed up on. Regardless, I am so looking forward to it and can't wait to see what's up next for Lana, Team Puerto Rico, and Samira.

#book #books #book review #book recommendations #amparo ortiz #blazewrath games #competition #ya urban fantasy #ya fantasy #dragons #characters of color #lgbtq characters #disabled characters #puerto rican charachters

[mcustorm]

Thoughts on Love, Victor Season 1

PSA: If you think that you might be gay, don’t get a girl emotionally invested! Please!

Ya know, at first when I thought about what I was going to write about this show, I thought that I should split the writings into the first half/last half of the show. Now I’m thinking “screw it”, if only because if I was going to go that route I should have stopped, parsed through my feelings about the first 5 episodes, and written those thoughts before proceeding with the next half. That, of course, did not happen, so to prevent the back half of the season’s events from miring the first half, I’ll just write about the whole shebang. There’s probably a joke about that word somewhere, I’ll try not to make it.

Anyways, let’s start by saying that on the whole, I really liked this show. It was not as good as Sex Education season 1, yet in my opinion waaaay better than HSMTMTS season 1. Most of the characters were likable and felt developed enough, it moved at a nice pace, and you can tell that a lot of heart went into this. Perhaps because we all watched this in a day, it felt like a 5 hour movie rather than a 10 episode tv show.

Additionally, I of course like the Latinx representation. The intersectionality of the Latinx community and the LGBTQ+ community has been presented on at least five TV shows to my knowledge: Ugly Betty, One Day at a Time, Diary of a Future President, The Baker and the Beauty, and now Love, Victor. Let’s keep it up!

As for the premise of the show itself, I *love* that this show acknowledges that Simon’s journey, at least at his house, was leaps and bounds easier than many other people’s. Victor’s parents are more conservative and religious, and they don’t have their shit together, so this is not the best environment to drop that bombshell in (which is why it was so incredible when Victor decides to do it anyway). Simon and Victor’s DM’s being a framing device for the show was a great way to tie the universe together.

The hook of Love, Simon was that you know all those cheesy and cliche rom-coms that straight people have gotten since the dawn of time? Well LGBT people deserve those stories too! Love, Victor is sort of presented with that same thesis in mind, which is why watching these episodes felt like different things I’ve seen before all over. The whole season ironically feels like Alex Strangelove: The TV Show, right down to the often cringy relationship with the girl, the openly gay love interest who conflicts our protagonist, and the goofball friend who chases after a girl who is seemingly out of his league.

Mia’s character felt a lot like Laila from All-American, being a black girl who is ordained as the hottest girl at school (which I feel like is a title only given in fictional schools), who also has a missing mother and problems with her rich dad. Pilar, on the other hand, feels like Casey from Atypical, in that she is openly rebellious in large part because of her mother’s infidelity.

Victor’s story this season sure was something to watch. The biggest question for me was, just how much sympathy should he be given? The world is inherently unfair to Victor. None of us should have to go through the agony and anxiety that so often comes with being in the closet and coming out. But for Victor to have visited those problems on Mia, who is going through things herself? That makes him pretty morally gray.

But he was still finding himself! But he loves Mia, just not like that! I get it, which is why he should have cut things off as soon as he got back from New York, no he should have cut things off when she asked him if there was “anything else” in her bedroom, no he should have cut things off when he literally felt like he and Benji were the only two people in the room at the concert, no he really shouldn’t have done this to begin with.

The line between Victor finding himself and him deceiving Mia is the conflict of the show, but the moment for me when I was like “Damn, Victor” was after he intentionally derailed Mia’s shebang-ing that she planned, he found the gall to lie to Benji and plan a seduction! That is why the season finale was so glorious. Because yes, while the world is unfair to Victor, he’s being unfair to the people around him.

I have made it a point not to read other people’s opinions extensively so as not to bias my own thoughts, but is Felix everybody else’s favorite? Felix’s character and arc was great. He was a supportive friend yet still felt like he had a story and stakes of his own, something which some TV shows get right (Sex Ed) and some TV shows get various shades of wrong (Jamie Johnson, Andi Mack). I like that he knew his worth and cut things off with Lake, and I like that she realized that her happiness with him should take priority over what others think of her.

I was soooo sympathetic to Mia. Her world is being turned upside down at home. Clearly, she has not even processed her mother being out of her life, and now her Dad is “replacing” her Mom while the baby is also “replacing” her! In Mia’s eyes, at least. Mia just needs to know that she is loved and appreciated. Which she *thought* of all people she’d be able to get from her boyfriend. Shucks.

As for the rest of Victor’s family, I also thought the parents’ storyline was pretty interesting yet unfortunate. Armando just can’t come around to trusting Isabel, which I actually kind of understand. Isabel, meanwhile, is being prevented from doing the thing she loves to do, which sucks especially because she’s in a radically new environment. Adrian is of course great, protect him at all costs. Pilar��s seemingly permanent mode of “angsty” is completely justified, as her friends back in TX are moving on just fine without her, she’s having trouble opening up and fitting in, and her family is WYLIN.

Some things that didn’t go so well for me was Andrew’s character, who feels like he’s just there to obstruct at any given moment. Y'all knew that when Victor and Benji were having that convo in the bathroom, someone was in the stall and someone was Andrew. Also, my guy, how are you not even somewhat aware that you are a total douchecanoe? I liked Benji, but Venji didn’t quite work for me because of all of the cheatation that it took to get there. Benji was pissed and ready to stay away from Victor permanently after the [attempted seduction], but once his relationship was over he was completely fine with putting his tongue down Mia’s boyfriend’s throat.

Overall, I really enjoyed this show. Some of these teen dramas I’m admittedly only watching for the LGBT content, so to have that be at the forefront of a show for once was amazing. The conflict was realistic if frustrating, and to me most of the characters seemed fully realized. Thankfully, the show didn’t even feel too “spin-offy” even with Nick Robinson being all over it.

In any given multi-season serialized show, the trajectory of the show goes one of two ways: the first season puts your feet on the ground of the series, and then later seasons go above and beyond with the storytelling (The Office, Breaking Bad, Bojack Horseman, Jamie Johnson) OR the first season is pretty great TV, and the following seasons fail to live up to its glory (The Good Place, Dear White People, really most every Netflix show ever). Which category Love, Victor ends up in is something to look forward to. Where do we go from here now that Victor is taking his first steps out of the closet?

Stray thoughts from the episodes:

The soundtrack on the whole, was not my cup of tea. I still liked a couple of songs, so that means somebody out there liked more of them.

I completely forgot Natasha Rothwell was in Love, Simon. More of her! More of Ali Wong! More of Beth Littleford! They were all great.

So Roger got his ass beat by Armando, and he still wants to get back with her?? Roger is reckless, man.

Speaking of reckless, Victor’s closet skills completely fell apart towards the end there. Assume somebody’s always watching!

Lake’s mother is a trip.

Good for the family for standing up to the grandparents.

Oh my god, Simon and Bram. Those guys are mine, and now they’re growing up and moving to the Big Gay City. They’ve come a long way.

Speaking of the Big Gay City, we were in Atlanta for a season and got *0* acknowledgement of the vibrant gay community there. More things to look forward to.

Was anybody else singing Selena along with Isabel? That is my favorite Selena song!

By rule of Felix being a male and Pilar being a female close in age, I immediately thought they were going to be a thing. The writers didn’t pull that thread too much...

That moment at the end there when we all thought Victor was going to hold off on his announcement only for him to go “fuck it” and say it anyways? And then he got to exhale? Perfect. chef’s kiss

What with June being Pride month, the SCOTUS ruling a couple of days ago, this entire show premiering today, and Delliot things going down in less than 24 hours, this will likely be the gayest week of the year. I suggest we all enjoy it.

Stay Peachy!

#love victor #michael cimino #venji #benji #thanks for reading #delliot

[badgerthegnome]

OKAY so I binged season 5 of She-Ra

and it was ~♡*SO GOOD*♡~

Here is my very spoilery review, from perspective of I, a Glimadora fan, but a Glimadora fan who grew up in the Queer Representation Drought of the 90′s.

OKAY, so, if you’ve kept reading firstly thank you. And may we all dance together and THANK NOELLE.

Admittedly I went into this season not hopeful anyway for Glimadora, after what happened with them last season (and the fact that Catra and Adora’s star signs match the star signs of the Showrunner and her Wife? .....Yeah). 

I still love them, and think the spark of possibility of their romance is and was a gorgeous thing, and will remain one of my favorite parts of the show.

But.

WE GOT DECENT REPRESENTATION, SO very DECENT REPRESENTATION. BETTER THAN ANYTHING I’VE SEEN IN AN ALL-AGES SHOW IN MY LIFE SO FAR. 

And I HAVE to be grateful for that. 

The people behind Korrasami fought so that we could have canonical, actually represented Catradora. The entire Crewniverse, esp. Rebecca Sugar, fought SO HARD so we could have canonical, actually represented Catradora. Hell, Naoko Takeuchi made Uranus and Neptune lovers, and Be-Papas made Utena queer as the day is long, so we could have canonical, actually represented on-screen Catradora. So much has been done to get us here, so I can’t help but be grateful - baseline, gratitude, first and always - that we got this level of representation AT ALL.

And ALL THOSE Netossa and Spinnerella moments. MY GAY HEART. The fact that we got all those kisses, and the actual use of the word WIFE. Priceless.

AND Double Trouble. EXTRA priceless.

AND Kyle/Rogelio.

AND all the moments where everybody was queer with.....well, everybody. 

This show has given us SO much, that even though I didn’t get exactly what I wanted..... I can’t be mad. I’m not. I’m just so touched and pleased.

And honestly - I didn’t know how they were going to get Catradora to where they ended up, after everything. Not having shipped it before, I didn’t have a lot of thought-energy invested there, and since I didn’t have high hopes for a Glimadora-romantic-reconciliation after their fall last season I didn’t really forsee anything Catradora going well. I thought, honestly, that if they were going to push for Catradora endgame after all, it was going to feel forced and we’d only get implications, not THE CONFESSION. AND THE KISS (both kisses!).

And everything that built up to that? SO WELL constructed. I am so impressed. Not only between Catra and Adora directly, but the fact that Catra fits so well into the Best Friend Squad that I can’t picture them without her now that it’s happened. And I never, ever thought that was gonna happen.

(And I’m not even going to start about the Utena parallels in Catra saving Adora from that last vision she was having. You know what I mean.)

NOELLE I WAS SO WRONG TO DOUBT YOU.

On that note, again, I REALLY REALLY REALLY also SO much appreciate the Spinnetossa storyline, that we got to see SO much of them, and SO many kisses, and the threat of Spinnerella having been compromised was taken SO SERIOUSLY. DAMN. I shipped it before (how could you not?) but I ship it so hard now, and HAPPILY take it as consolation about my aforementioned ship woes (which can’t even really be woes. See above).

Here, have some crappily-taken phone camera shots of me pausing and flailing over the kisses as I watched on my tablet:

And as usual, the world building for the whole show - the world itself, the plot, the historical impact of all the backstory, everything - was SO WELL DONE. I have been massively impressed on that level alone since day 1, and now, at the end, I’m still not disappointed.

Also Scorpia. Always, but especially in her friendship with Perfuma this season (love love loved the resolution between her and Catra, too. I may be on board with Catradora now but I may have still cheered a lot when she blasted her, even though she was mind-controlled, and definitely squealed at the hug). 

And all the scenes between Shadow Weaver and Castaspella. The build up to her redemption was handled very, very well, too. Even though I still hate her face.

I do have to say, though, that as a Glimadora fan I’m not sure how to approach Glimbow. I did not see that coming (as much as it wasn’t explicitly shown, and as much as I appreciate that it was left open to interpretation, I do think that the timing of their “I love you” shortly before Catradora’s “I love you” was not an accident). What I DO appreciate about them together, though, is that both characters are still queer af - and in my opinion, their love pushes Bow’s sexuality in a more fluid way than I expected. When I first saw the character designs in season 1, and with how he reacted to Seahawk, I was pretty sure they were going to go ‘stereotypical gay man’ with him - and I don’t say that with any harshness on the need for gay male representation, or any doubts about Noelle or anyone else on the creative team. I say that from the background of someone having grown up in the 90′s, where the best queer representation I saw on any non adult-adult TV was Willow and Tara of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” (which and who I LOVE). BUT even with their loveliness, Willow’s bisexuality/pansexuality was ERASED as soon as she became attracted to a woman (like she tripped and was like “Whoops, guess I’m homosexual now!”). So I wasn’t very optimistic about Bow being any of the LGBTQ’s except the G, BUT a) clearly I was wrong, from the start, and yay for that, and b) he reads so strongly as pansexual, in my opinion, and so does Glimmer (I know and respect that many may disagree with me on this, not trying to start any kind of wars here. Especially since we just wrapped one up ;D ). So them together actually only solidifies that representation, I think.

(And I also gotta note that I am SO PLEASED with my girl Glimmer’s character development this season, in general. I was very very glad with how they handled her, especially after how hard - though understandable - how hard her decisions in season 4 were to watch.)

Definitely definitely definitely need a rewatch, now, from the perspective of Catradora AND Glimbow. An open one, trying to see both developing from the beginning, and value and respect all that went into building them.

I wanna end by saying that one of the things I appreciate SO much about this fandom is that we all have SO much LOVE for the show itself, and the representation we’ve been given. So I hope no matter what we shipped, still shipped, whatever we wished for - we can be grateful for the gift that this show is. And hopeful, too, for a spinoff in whatever format they can give us.

(I personally want more comics, but I’m super biased.)

P.S. Shoutout also to Entrapdak, Wrong Hordak and to Keston John for all the amazing work he did with all the clones this season. Damn.

(And that moment with Prime-possessed Hordak and She-ra/Adora at the end was ALSO PERFECT.)

(Okay really shutting up now.)

#spop #spop spoilers #spoilers #review #catradora #glimadora #glimmadora #spinnetossa #glimbow

[cesabutterflywrites]

Violet; the Only Thing I See

Word Count: 2565

Notes: Soulmate AU, no warnings I can think of, but ask me to add if I didn’t catch any 

Summary: Patton only catches a glimpse of his first color in the city. 

Patton Harte was eighteen years, five months, and three days old when he saw color for the first time. 

He was walking down a busy avenue in San Francisco. He had taken BART to the city on his day off to be under the gaze of the skyscrapers. He strode over sparkling pavement, and as he looked up the sun glittered off the top windows of the massive buildings above him. It was a windy day in the city, so he made sure to wear a jacket with deep pockets to protect his hands from the chill. There were people everywhere, cars at a standstill beside him in the rush hour, and he felt buzzed. 

Being in the city was his favorite state of being. He grew up in the Oakland Hills looking out to the small section of the tallest buildings, surrounded by two bridges. Watching the sun rise in the mornings over the Bay was his favorite pastime. He was so excited to see the colors his parents described to him. If something so wonderful could be even more beautiful outside of the shades of gray, he would probably die soon after just from the sheer bliss. 

He knew San Francisco was full of color. They had the Castro District, historically a town where a lot of people from the LGBTQ+ community built roots. There were the piers, and the exploratorium was busy all the time with people. The Westfield Mall had so many different shades of gray, and the shops made him excited to shop for clothes when he had a better idea of what they looked like. 

He wondered if the reason he ventured into the city was because of all the potential of color he anticipated. He longed to see the blues of the bay water as he stared out on the end of Pier 39. He wanted to know the color of the soft grass he laid on when watching fireworks below Ghirardelli Square. Oh, the fireworks, what an even more iridescent display they would be when he was holding the hands of the person who introduced the world to him in a new way. 

He was walking towards Pier One from the shadows of the buildings, and came upon tents belonging to people selling their goods. He smiled as he took his time browsing the products. He admired the way jewelry glimmered in the sunlight.  The handmade beanies were exquisite. He had a few extra dollars in his pocket, so he purchased the one that seemed to compliment his head well. The vendor had told him it was, “Sky blue,” with a pitying smile on their face. Most people met their soulmates in high school. 

He had just graduated high school the month prior, and had felt some disappointment that he couldn’t enjoy the school colors with his peers. He didn’t let that dampen his mood completely. He had his parents take a ton of pictures for him to look at when he had someone to show them to. 

As he made his way to the MUNI stop, the crowd thickened in the evening foot traffic. 

“Sorry,” he muttered. He accidentally bumped into someone, he wasn’t paying attention to who, and next thing he knew he caught a few snippets of...color… here and there. There were mostly the grays, whites, and blacks he was used to but all of the sudden there was something...new. 

He looked behind him to see if the person he had bumped into was looking for him as well. He stood on his tip-toes, angering others passing by. He craned his neck, but to no avail. The person who introduced him to this taste of color was gone. In just the briefest of meetings, Patton’s life was changed with no warning or explanation.

He slumped his shoulders in disappointment. He made his way home slowly, his head dropped low, not even bothering to marvel in the new discovery in his sight. What was the point of the vibrant hints if they were only painful reminders of a missed opportunity lost in a crowd. 

He got onto BART, holding onto the wrist straps attached to the rails of the train car. He pulled out his phone, noticing the case was the new color. That sparked his curiosity. He opened up Google, searching for the colors of the Rainbow. Rainbows were what everyone said was the combination of all colors. He smiled to himself, knowing now that the colors teasing his vision were shades of violet.

----

“Hey, Pat, how was your day out?” his mom asked when he entered the doorway of his home in the hills. 

His smile was bittersweet as he answered, “Enlightening.”

Mrs. Harte raised her eyebrow, and Patton noticed light shades of violet were smudged onto her eyelids. He couldn’t find himself to answer the unasked question, it was too much, and his mother sitting in front of him made him feel uneasy. 

“I’m wiped, I’m going to go ahead and rest in bed until dinner’s ready. I love you,” he kissed his mom on the cheek and bolted to his room. 

He immediately wished that he had stayed in the living room when he saw his room had dashes and splotches of violet everywhere. Had his mind known this would be his only vision? It wasn’t all purple, but it was enough to split his chest open and let the tears drop from his eyes. He sniffled, and removed his glasses so he could lay on his bed and hug his childhood puppy, who happened to have a light purple bow tie. 

He must’ve cried himself to sleep, because when he woke up it was dark. He groaned, feeling for his glasses so he could see slightly better. When he found them, he looked at his clock and gasped in shock. His parents had let him sleep, so it was five in the morning. 

He decided that being up early wasn’t too bad, and frankly he had developed a bad habit of staying up too late once he graduated. He put on a shirt, it was dark purple, he noticed. He woke up with the ability to view the color without hurt. Less than a day, and he was immune. The color would become as familiar as his normal grays. 

Patton fixed himself a mug of tea and made his way to the porch that overlooked the bay. He anticipated the sunrise. Would it be purple as well? What if that was the color of the sky in the morning? He sipped his hot tea in anticipation, and was excited to see the barest hints of what he assumed to be lavender on the edges of the sky where the sun blended with the night. He bounced excitedly, happy to finally enjoy the sunrise with new  eyes.. He looked to the other seat, and drooped in disappointment to find it empty. 

Being brought back to reality hurt, and suddenly it was the same pain as the day before filling his head. He closed his eyes, not wanting to smudge his glasses with tears. 

He only opened them when he heard the sliding glass doors open and close. His dad sat on the previously empty seat with a cup of coffee. He smiled, the silver streaks in his hair more prominent with age. He gazed in wonderment at the view. Of course he did, he had been able to see color since he was sixteen years old. 

“I don’t understand why you look so amazed, you’ve seen it before.” Patton remarked bitterly, surprisingly out of character. 

“It’s different every morning,” his dad answered before looking at him curiously, “Why so sour, son?”

Patton deflated with a sigh. Perhaps some help from his dad would make him feel better. So he told him. 

He recalled his afternoon prior in perfect clarity. He made sure to use as many details as possible, hoping there was a piece he wasn’t able to see that his dad could. He relayed the scene of each moment leading up to the brief encounter. The sun had finally risen by the time he had finished, and his tears had finally fallen more. His dad handed him a handkerchief from his shirt pocket. 

Patton wiped his face while his dad pondered everything he had just been told. Patton went to sip his tea, but found it to be cold. He curled his lip in disappointment. He would have to make a new cup, but he didn’t want to get up in case his dad had more to say. 

After some silence, and without a word, his dad stood up to go inside. Patton got up to follow, curious as to why his dad was acting so mysterious. 

They stopped in the kitchen. His dad started rinsing his mug. “Did you see anything about this person? Any detail?” the older man finally asked. 

Patton shrugged. “I wasn’t really paying attention. I can only remember black, but it could have been a silhouette to fill in the empty space.” 

His dad nodded solemnly. “Okay, here’s the plan. You’re going to go back to the city, and retrace your steps. Don’t worry about cash, I’ll give you some. Go on, get  your things, I’ll even drive you to a BART station on my way to work. 

Patton nodded, excited for the adventure once more. 

----

Patton walked beneath the sky scrapers, seeing the barest depth to the shadows they cast. It looked nearly the same, yet more...pronounced. He marveled at the sights from the previous day, now so new. It was as if it were his first time in the city. He had to keep himself from skipping around. Hope was like sprouted lavender blooming forth from his chest. He saw every little bit of purple, and wondered to himself why he let the connotations disrupt the beauty of it. 

Maybe it was good to have a color of his own, just for a bit. He decided to go to the Westfield mall, and stared in wonder at the shops. Each window had a streak or two of lilac, the lingerie store had plum colored undergarments, the tables in the dining areas were lined in a weird, dark shade of purple that Patton tilted his head in confusion at. 

It was a bit off of his route from the previous day, but he wanted to enjoy the new sight for once. Take some time to experience the color on his own. Maybe that was what he was supposed to do, anyways.

He sat down at the table near the poke bowl counter, his own customized bowl in front of him as he gazed around his surroundings. 

There were people everywhere, and not so many of them were wearing the color. Most everyone seemed like they had before, silhouettes of swirling grays surrounding him, alone. That is, until he caught sight of a boy with purple hair sitting down at the table next to him. 

He stared in wonderment. He knew people who saw color changed their hair, but he never imagined it to be so...vibrant. The boy was dressed in all dark clothing. He seemed to be elsewhere, and it must have not been pleasant, seeing as his expression was in a grimace. 

Patton stirred his chopsticks in his bowl, starting to daydream about the purple haired boy. He wondered why he was so drawn, perhaps it was because he could see a detail about his person that he wouldn’t have before. 

“Hey, Specs, got a problem?” the boy asked, voice like gravel that made Patton’s heart skip a beat. 

“No, no! I was just staring at your hair,” Patton blushed, he didn’t want to be rude, and frankly had hoped the other wouldn’t notice. 

“Hm,” edged lips turned into a deep frown. “Whatever.” 

“Sorry…” Patton mumbled.

The boy’s head jerked up quickly, and Patton glanced curiously. What had he said?

“What-what did you say?” he asked, some soul in his voice, but Patton wasn’t sure if it was good. 

Patton gulped, “Sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to stare. I just...just thought  your hair was pretty, and I only just started seeing color yesterday. Well, only one color, and that’s your head,” Patton stretched his arms out in defense as he watched the person move in front of him, “Sorry! I just-”

“Shut up,” the guy commanded, but softly. It wasn’t rude, it was tinged with nerves.

Patton gulped. He didn’t understand what was going on. Was this kid dangerous? No, he didn’t seem like it. 

The guy squatted next to Patton’s frozen figure. “I might never get another chance to say this,” the deep voice grumbled, “but hold my hand real quick.” 

Patton’s heart beat erratically in his chest. It couldn’t be. It can’t. It couldn’t. How?

His fingers trembled in fear of the unknown, and grabbed the stranger’s warm hand, and the world changed in the blink of an eye, literally. 

The world was full of color when there was contact. The person holding his hand gripped tight, which made Patton grateful because it was overwhelming. The mall they were in was more lively than he could have imagined. 

He looked at the face of his savior. He had dark black marks beneath his eyes. His skin was light, compared to Patton’s, but still so colorful. His eyes were something else. Light, vibrant, and Patton didn’t know how to describe it. He could tell that there were tears welling up in them. 

“I- I didn’t think I’d have a soulmate,” the boy confessed as the tears silently dropped. “I’ve always seen color. But you- something about your voice was familiar, and I needed to see- I was curious.” 

Patton was crying, too, but much less graceful. He had snot coming out of his nose, and his shoulders shook with sobs. He felt emotions as foreign as the world around him, and perhaps even more pleasant. 

“I’m Patton, can I hug you?” he asked shyly. 

“I’m Virgil. I’m not usually a hugger, but sure.” His voice was scratchy, nervous. He let go of Patton’s hand to open his arms wide. He was on his knees, still beside Patton. 

Patton dove into the dark arms of his new center. The one who brought him the colors of the rainbow surrounding him. If rainbows were made of light, it didn’t matter how dark Virgil’s clothes were, he was the brightest in the room. Patton nuzzled into the chest of his...soulmate. 

“Thank you,” he choked out, “Thank you so much!” 

“ You’re welcome, Pat,” Virgil responded as he patted the smaller boy’s back. 

Patton giggled, “Giving Pat a pat on the back?”

Virgil groaned, “Of course, I’m stuck with a punner forever.” 

Patton pulled his head up to see that Virgil was smirking, the remark was in jest. His smile was crooked, and probably the most beautiful thing Patton ever saw. 

“You’re pretty,” Virgil complimented. 

“Pretty Patton?” Patton asked, a sly smile on his face. 

“Sure,” Virgil rolled his eyes, “Pretty Patton.”

They both stood up, knees aching from the floor. They hugged properly, and they both fit perfectly. The world buzzed around them. Patton; glad to see the world in it’s complete beauty, and Virgil; happy to be able to share his vision with someone instead of alone. 

-

-

-

-

Let me know if you wanna be on the taglist for any of the ships!

#Moxiety #Soulmate Moxiety #Virgil Sanders #Patton Sanders #Soulmate AU #Mama Cesa writes #sanders sides #sanders sides fic #moxiety fic #oneshot #moxiety oneshot #sanders sides oneshot

[evieyuzukaisabigot]

I want to preface this post by saying that I struggled on if I should write it or not. I don’t think callout posts are entirely useful in changing someone’s behavior and, more often than not, end up making them feel as if they are still in the right. It is not my intention for this person to be harassed. It is my intention to warn other players about them so that those players can avoid this person.

That being said, you could have avoided this, Evie. But you decided to make logs public on Reddit in order to attack <EMBER>. You posted those logs in three separate threads under the username FlayFlag. So, here we go.

This is a post about Evie Yuzuka, also known as Narumi Malaguld and Ellie Amor.

On June 2nd, 2019 you joined The Order of Ember roleplay free company (also known as <EMBER>). Less than two hours later, an individual that led another roleplay free company whispered one of the officers to warn them about your behavior.  When the officer in question brought this up to you, you said that you had changed and that you hoped you could start with a clean slate. You then proceeded to whisper your previous free company leader to harass them for warning <EMBER>. Screenshots here, though I’ve edited out the name of the person Evie whispered since I don’t have their consent to post their name.

Trust me when I say that this level of harassment is not uncommon from Evie, as you will soon see.

At the same time that this warning took place, multiple members of <EMBER> mentioned knowing of you or having a problem with your attitude. Still, the officer staff decided to give you a chance, seeing as you had claimed that you were trying to better yourself.

Five days later, you spent the early morning of June 7th, 2019 being a transphobe. Yikes.

I was not a witness to this exchange, as I personally would have taken screenshots rather than a text log. Still, I will post the text log here. Please keep in mind that some of the language used here can be upsetting, so proceed at your own risk. While Evie is not on their main, they are on an alt (named Narumi Malaguld). I have taken the liberty of highlighting Narumi/Evie’s responses so that the log is easier to read.This took place in Ul’dah shout chat.

I think I can speak for us all when I say: gross.

During or immediately after this conversation, Evie was pulled into a chat with <EMBER>’s officers. These screenshots are presumably taken by Evie, as they were posted to the aforementioned Reddit threads.

Here is a link to the imgur.

Here is a backup link in case the first one gets deleted.

The officers attempted to be reasonable. You had been warned already not to start drama and yet you did. You decided to be a transphobe in the middle of Ul’dah in a public channel while representing <EMBER>. On a roleplay server, you are often as good as your reputation. It’s fine if you want to throw your reputation in the gutter – that’s your prerogative. But as a representative of the free company, you might as well have been screaming that <EMBER> held the same beliefs you do. When you found out that what you did was not okay, you pitched a fit.

And then you got kicked.

You have this bizarre need to constantly be on a crusade, Evie. If you feel you’ve been wronged, you need to be vindicated. While I don’t have the context of this exchange, here is another set of screenshots of Evie starting drama with what appears to be a Coeurl roleplay group. The language used by Evie alone was enough to raise my eyebrows when I first read it.

Here’s the thing: I don’t care about the drama concerning <EMBER>. What I care about is that fact that you’re transphobic, Evie. Final Fantasy XIV has an amazing LGBTQ+ community. You said during your argument in shout chat and during your conversation with the officers of <EMBER> that it is just your opinion and that thoughts are different than actions. What you fail to realize is that by normalizing your highly bigoted opinion, you are making it okay to commit acts of violence against the people you say those things about.

Frankly, you should be ashamed of yourself.

I said in the beginning of this post that I was conflicted about writing this. That was, of course, until your Reddit post. You could have kept quiet. You could have slinked away to lick your wounds. You don’t know who I am but I’ve been watching this unfold from the beginning. In the words of a very old copypasta from the internet, with some liberties:

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know that I graduated top of my class in Limsa Lominsa. I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Bahamut and I have over 300 confirmed wipes. I am trained in PvP warfare and I’m the top roleplayer in the entire Crystal data center. You are nothing to me but just another bigot. I will wipe you the fuck out with DPS the likes of which has never been seen before in Eorzea, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to my friends over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak, I’m contacting my secret network of spies and your various accounts are being tracked right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your roleplay character. You’re fucking ruined, Evie. I can be anywhere, anytime, and screenshot you in over seven hundred ways and that’s just me alone. Not only only am I extensively trained in /random combat but I have access to the entire catalog of custom combat systems on Crystal and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little comment was going to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You will drown in it. You’re fucking ruined, kiddo.”

That’s all I have to say about that. Thanks for reading.

Wait, one more thing: don’t use the same username across your different accounts.

The Links

Lodestone links:

Evie Yuzuka lodestone (main character), ID #20466185

Narumi Malaguld lodestone (alt #1). ID#23056294

Ellie Amor lodestone (alt #2), ID#18928985

Social media:

Evie’s Twitter (Confirmed via the discord link in which Evie is the owner of the server)

Evie’s Twitch (Linked in the twitter)

Evie’s Steam (Private but the same logo as the twitter is present)

Evie’s REAL Reddit profile (Confirmed by being linked to the Twitter)

While I can’t link it, Evie’s discord username is Evie#1000

Imgur links/logs:

The conversation with <EMBER>’s officers

The Coeurl conversation

The Ul’dah log

A picture from this thread that I thought was funny. Why do you have such a problem with authority?

Miscellaneous:

Evie’s Wildstar character names, just in case anyone recognizes them: Kiarri Shimizu (if you google this, Evie Yuzuka’s lodestone profile pops up), Evie Miura. Evie might also have been Azami Starflower, but I’m not absolutely positive of that.

PS: I’m not an officer of <EMBER>. They are my friends and I’m just nice enough to stand up for them since they’re all too nice to say anything.

#crystal data center #final fantasy 14 #final fantasy xiv #balmung

[irinanonyme]

The whole stupid "Carole and Tuesday VS Yuri On Ice" thing (I'm kind of angry and it's long but if you have like 10 minutes you're welcome to read)

Hey, so I've seen a bunch of people throwing shade lately because "Carole and Tuesday doesn't have as much popularity as Yuri On Ice did and it just shows what kinda people those fans are."

People saying that just because it's not on Netflix yet it's not an excuse and then they compare it to Violet Evergarden.

Frickin' Violet Evergarden people.

Which is like, the worst example you can give. You're talking about an anime who was hyped up since back in May 2016 and released 2 years later in January 2018 not to mention that it's made by goddamn KYOTO ANIMATION. It ain't Bones my friends, yes Bones is great but Kyoani is just up there somewhere. Did you see A Silent Voice? Did you see Hibike Euphonium?? The trailer for Violet Evergarden has almost 4 million views while the trailer for Carole and Tuesday was released 3 months ago and it has like 400k views. Until now some people didn't even know that the anime is direced by Shinichiro Watanabe, the guy who worked on COWBOY BEBOP and SAMURAI CHAMPLOO.

Also it's not about "not knowing how to use kissanime", some people just want to support the official release financially and legally. Also some other people who already have Netflix accounts got excited when they heard it was coming to the site but now they learn that they have to wait 6 more months until it's fully released. You might love the anime to death and pirating it doesn't mean that you want to disrespect the creators but you sure aren't helping them now are you? I'm not trying to shame people for pirating, hell, I think that everybody on the internet has already pirated something at least once in their life. But please don't look down on people who have the money and are willing to help studios/creators financially. If they want to wait 6 months and binge watch it let them wait 6 months and leave them alone.

Also please don't get started on that whole "fetishizing" thing. I know this is gonna piss of a lot of people but here's the "hot tea" like tumblr users would say: LGBTQ people want to get accepted into a society where about 90% of it are straight people (which is completely fair and they *should* in fact get accepted) but whenever those straight people approve of a same sex ship it's fetishizing? So wait, when a straight girl ships a wlw ship "it's fine and hey girl you might be bi 😉" but if she's shipping a mlm ship it's suddenly "eew you disgusting bitch, fricking fujoshi I bet you jack off to that stuff, huh?" That's just effed up guys.

YOI got popular only after episode 7 because of the kiss, it was so incredible to the point where most people couldn't believe it, some still thought that it was maybe only a hug because it's rare having mlm and wlw relationships in an anime without the "yuri" or "yaoi" tag. It was also because for once a mlm ship wasn't shown in a bad light like having the taller guy rape the shorter guy then ending it up with "haha, omg I actually liked it haha. Now that you forced yourself on me I like you."

Or it being borderline incest like "Wow, even though he's my not-blood-related brother I have feelings for him."

Or having a huge age gap making it a borderline p*do thing like "He's a divorced adult and I'm only a high school student!! Oh gee what shall I do!!"

YOI became popular not because it was fetishized but BECAUSE it was in fact shown to be a healthy relationship by the creators themselves in a different setting than just "school/slice of life" it was a sports anime and there was no indicator of them becoming a thing. Many thought it was like Free where the guys are gonna have "gay undertones" the whole story but never actually get together. From my experience most "YOI haters" are salty people who still remember the stupid 2016 Crunchyroll awards who didn't mean a thing.

Also keep in mind that tumblr is not the whole internet and it doesn't represent everyone and everything. Even if there are surely some who really do fetishize same sex ships I don't think that most of them are YOI and/or Carole and Tuesday fans. People who really ship wlw and mlm ships are most and for all people who accept the LGBTQ community whether they're part of it or not which is already a big step onward for many. There are still some countries out there where you can get killed or sent to prison for being homosexual so when I see people supporting this type of content I get really thrilled. Not to mention that you can't really "accurately" tell who is "fetishizing" those relationships. You might look at a few reblogs and tell yourself that "Yup, this guy/girl is definitely a creep" but the truth is that you don't know. You have no idea who the person behind this reblog is, who's that person behind the screen. Maybe they're like 15/16 and they're not sure of their sexual orientation yet? Do you need to add a lesbian/gay/bi/trans,etc flag on your profile pic for you to be part of the community? No.

I'm honestly kinda tired of this "tumblr culture" where whenever you have an opinion it has to match others' opinions so you don't get hate/death threats by either kids or adults who don't have a grasp on reality and don't tell themselves that maybe "Hey, that person might actually be depressed and she/he might really kill themselves if I send them this so even if I don't agree with them I probably shouldn't."

People starting their posts with "here's the hot take/TED talk, I've been thinking about it for a while but was scared of talking about it" then it turns out that this "hot take" is 80% of the fandom's opinion and the sheeple in the comments somehow seriously think that it's controversial and are like "OMGG SPILL THE TEA SIS YASSS💖"

Or "Thank. You.👏👏 I was actually scared of saying it so I'm glad you did."

Or even "LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK SIS!!❤"

We're talking about a site where when you *actually* have a *real* "hot take" people will try to personally murder you and browse through your entire blog during 3 days just to find a stupid thing you said like 4 years ago to write a "call out post" on you with the meme "I'm about to end this man's whole career lol" then they be like "lol you fuckin' (insert bad thing here) supporter! I bet you're (insert mental illness/something that means "sick in the head" with a clever twist on words.)"

Then when you like a certain character or ship you have to make a 5k word explanation post where you start off by saying that you do understand that your "fav" is "problematic" and then you proceed to explain why and then you have to be a victim who was either bullied or taken advantage of in order to make people feel bad for sending you death threats and guilt tripping you so that they can forgive your different tastes and just call it a "coping mechanism" or saying that it's fine if you support that character/ship because you're mentally ill. Oh, and don't forget the apology post where you explain to people that just because you said something stupid when you were 14 on your blog it doesn't mean that you still think that way and that your views changed and yada yada yada.

Like?? What the actual fuck people?

Can't we just have a good time on this site for fuck's sake? Carole and Tuesday has only 5 episode right now which is not even 25% of the story since the anime is supposed to have 24 episodes. It's not available on Netflix yet and some people like binge watching series. Give it time, surely it's gonna get recognition soon and we're here to spread it too. I decided that no matter what I'm gonna have a good time watching this amazing anime and I support both CarDay and Victuri and any other healthy wlw and mlm ship, all LGBTQ people and anyone in this world who isn't a serial killer/terrorist/anything bad (obviously)

Thank you for reading the whole thing (hopefully) and if you don't agree and are about to write something really mean about me don't even bother please, you'll be talking to a brick wall and I only accept civilized conversations👌

#carole and tuesday #carole & tuesday #yuri on ice #carday #victuri #tumblr

[cassandraclare]

Anna, Ariadne, sexuality and genderfludity in the Belle Epoque

SPOILERS (and a mass of text, much under a cut)

jonginflicted said: cassie i loved every exquisite thing so much oh god, i could almost see myself in ariadne, like a sort of refusal to fully be herself (we were born in the same place too!) and i'm wondering, does ariadne really love anna or is this just a time-pass or an experiment for her. she does say that she likes anna a lot, but her willingness to marry charles seems a little off to me (or am i seeing things) as always, thank you so much for writing for us!

-Thank you!

Ariadne is under crushing social pressure to marry a man. She does love Anna 

— she’s fallen in love with her the same way Anna has with her, with that sort of sweeping at-first-sight romantic overwhelmingness that sometimes happens, especially when it’s your first time. I really tried to avoid any suggestion this was an “experiment” or anything like that for Ariadne. She’s a lesbian and she knows she’s a lesbian. She just also believes it’s impossible for her to live an authentic life as a lesbian woman in 1901 without being cruelly punished. I don’t think you’re seeing things so much as it’s hard to understand what Ariadne is facing in 1901 (and would face in some places now):

From Strangers: Homosexual Love in the Nineteenth Century by Graham Robb: 19th-century homosexuals lived under a cloud...Most of them suffered, not from the cruel machinery of justice, but from the creeping sense of shame, the fear of losing friends, family and reputation, the painful incompatibility of religious belief and sexual desire, the social and mental isolation, and the strain of concealment.

That’s a horrific thing to face. (Not that we live in an LGBT+ utopia now and they lived in an LGBT+ dystopia then: it’s a lot more complicated than that.) Ariadne’s parents, unlike Anna’s, are extremely conservative, and this union with Charles is the thing they want. So it wouldn’t matter much to Ariadne whether it was Charles or some other guy – it’s not going to be the thing she wants except that she doesn’t want to be isolated, to be abandoned, to be rejected by her parents and family, which are totally normal things to be terrified of. 

Everyone has layered identities. Ariadne has identities as a woman of color, as a lesbian, as an adopted child, as the daughter of conservative government officials, as a woman who wants children, and in many ways those identities are in conflict for her in ways Anna’s identities are less so. Ariadne isn’t a coward, or a cruel person. She is making the best choices she can within a set of limitations that are oppressive, and that she did not invent or ask for. 

ti-bae-rius said: Hello Cassie! Firstly, wow okay turns out I have a huge fiction crush on Anna Lightwood. Hot damn. Secondly - and slightly less flippant/lovestruck - is Anna happy with female pronouns? Is that what Anna identifies with or was it more due to conformity of the time? Basically, is Anna’s gender expression limited by temporal factors? Such a badass character who is seriously fuelling my waistcoat obsession right now. Love the new GOTSM and all the best! x

I'm so happy you enjoyed the new GOTSM and that you like (have a huge crush on) Anna! I would say that Anna is happy with female pronouns, yes, as she's happy with the gift of the necklace that her mother gave her, something she can be comfortable with as she's not with dresses. That said, temporal factors are certainly a part of that! Today Anna would consider and call herself genderfluid, but the term didn't exist at the time, and of course many genderfluid people today refer to themselves by “he” or “she” pronouns, as well as many others, according to what feels most comfortable to them. Anna is a product of her time: had she been born in a different time many things might have been different — but that is the case for every single one of the TID and TLH characters, and for all of us alive today, who express ourselves in ways which would have been extremely unconventional in the past and will likely be considered backward and oppressive in the future. :)

In 1902 (a year after the events of EET) people were academically discussing the idea of a third or “intermediate” sex, but it was a very new thing — not something Shadowhunters would know about, or the average mundane. It was also referred to as “sexual inversion” which was seen as an academic term at the time. The idea of LGBTQ+ sexuality was a taboo topic--sexuality at all was a taboo topic, with people getting arrested for indecency for publishing pamphlets about contraception--and the idea of LGBTQ+ identity was scarcely understood at all. 

Anna herself, and those who love and accept her, would find it very hard to conceptualize or articulate gender fluidity. Feelings have always existed long before there were words for them, and many words once used are not the words we use now. I wanted to be accurate and faithful to the time period, but I also wanted to be as sensitive as possible to the modern day, real life readers, and not hurt them by using terms which would have been acceptable then but are certainly not acceptable now. (A whole code for speaking about homosexuality existed at the time, ranging from the gentle “Is he musical?” or “Does she like Achilles?” to words I would just never use whether they’re historically accurate or not.) Anna, as we see, has strong feelings about not only romance with women but friendship and alliance with women, and female pronouns to her feel like another way of expressing that alliance, even while she wants to be true to herself and express her complex and beautiful identity as fully as she can. 

ariadnebridgestock said: hello cassie!! I was incredibly touched by how understanding and supportive Cecily and Gabriel were about Anna so I was wondering, will we be seeing other support that Anna receives from the rest of her family, like her brother Christopher, her aunts and uncles and her cousins and family friends like the Fairchilds etc?  thank you for taking your time to answer questions! 

archerondale said: Hi, Cassie! I was just wondering- what does the Clave think about Anna wearing man's clothes and preferring women?

EET is set two years before TLH, so in 1903 Anna's already openly living a fabulous lifestyle in her own abode in Percy Street, and her family and friends are all fully aware and supportive of her lifestyle. We will see her family support her, though not every single one of their specific reactions to her starting to dress as she prefers, as that's well in the past. Everyone responds with love, in their characteristic ways, so we see Matthew, a loving and fashionable friend, giving her his clothing: Christopher, her sweet and science-minded brother, offering to perform a saving act of science (Christopher would blow up the Tower of London to make Anna feel better, any day of the week). Everyone offers support in their own way. Lucie asks to hear about Anna's scandalous love life so she can write about romance in her novels. James reads up on people like Julie d'Aubigny, who dressed as a man, fought duels, and liberated her lady beloved from a nunnery. 

However, the Clave as a whole, and even the Enclave in London, is vaguely horrified by what Anna's up to, but Anna's helped out by the attitude that what Anna's doing can barely be true--there is a myth that Queen Victoria refused to believe in women feeling passion for other women, which reflects the prevailing attitudes of the time (which again, aren't the same as Shadowhunter attitudes, but Shadowhunter attitudes are influenced by the world) that love between women didn't happen, or if it did, didn't count (Unlike sex between men, lesbianism was not illegal in 1903). 

That said, in 1902 (after EET, before TLH) society became interested in “sexology”--examining the different kinds of sexual attractions and activities that existed, and the terms sapphic and lesbian came into more common use. Lesbian activity wasn't criminalized in the same way as gay activity (though the denial of women's sexuality is a problem in itself): Oscar Wilde's fate would not happen to a woman, though as we see with Ariadne there was still horrible pressure to conform. During this same period, Vita Sackville-West (later, Virginia Woolf's lover) and Violet Keppel, the daughter of King Edward's mistress, were involved in a schoolgirl romance, but Violet's mother urged concealment and both were to go on to marry men. You can read their love letters here:

Oh, Mitya, come away, let’s fly, Mitya darling —  let’s go away and forget the world and all its squalor — let’s forget such things as trains, and trams, and servants, and streets, and shops, and money, and cares and responsibilities. Oh god! how I hate it all — you and I, Mitya, were born 2000 years too late, or 2000 years too soon.

:(

Anna insisting on living openly, dressing the way she wants and publicly loving who she wants, has created something of a sensation in the Enclave society. Sona's worried about Cordelia consorting with the infamous Anna: Mrs Bridgestock is appalled by the idea of Anna, now living so scandalously, approaching Ariadne. Many mothers are whisking aside their children and many proper Shadowhunters are shunning Anna. London society says Anna should be got under control, or that they should stop her from fighting because it's given her ideas: all manner of microaggressions are visited upon Anna, but Anna prefers to steadfastly ignore them (not that they don’t bother her or add up over time — this is just her particular coping strategy). Sometimes she trots off to Paris if they annoy her. But the fact she's learned to just avoid or not think about unpleasantness may become a problem for her, later, since eventually unpleasantness that she can't avoid does come and she has to face it.

Still, the constant love and support from her influential family and friends is very helpful, not just emotionally but socially: it matters that Charlotte's the Consul, that her Uncle Gideon is influential in the Clave, that her beloved Uncle Will is Head of the London Institute and loves and looks out for her. With them standing by her, the Clave has been able to mostly overlook Anna--maybe she's just going through a wild phase! Even the Consul's son Matthew is running wild, what will become of the children! They say nasty things sometimes, and Anna isn't invited to the most proper parties, and Anna DEFINITELY wouldn't be able to wield political power within the Clave or marry a really respectable Shadowhunter boy (luckily...Anna isn't at all in the market for a husband), but Anna's extremely popular with the younger set and well-supported by the older set. Which is all to say: as it has been for people like Anna in many generations and many places, one can create a society within a society where you feel comfortable. She is lucky that her own family home and the homes of her friends are places she can feel comfortable (the same is not true for Ariadne, for instance) but outside of those safe spaces, there are places where she would (and is) stared at, commented on, and subject to prejudice. 

* One of the fascinating things about LGBT+ history is the way there have always been subcultural spaces where the non-straight and non-cis were able to carve out networks of neighborhoods, bars, clubs, salons and spaces where they felt safe and were able to be open. I don’t just keep mentioning Paris randomly: neighborhoods in Paris were a lesbian and gay haven during the Belle Epoque — one of those subcultural places I was talking about, where Anna and other non-binary and LGBT+ people could feel comfortable. Fin de siecle society in Paris included bars, restaurants and cafes frequented and owned by lesbians, such as Le Hanneton and le Rat Mort, Private salons, like the one hosted by the American expatriate Nathalie Barney, drew lesbian and bisexual artists and writers of the era, including Romaine Brooks, Renee Vivien, Colette, Djuna Barnes, Gertrude Stein, and Radclyffe Hall. One of Barnes's lovers, the courtesan Liane de Pougy, published a best-selling novel based on their romance called l’Idylle Saphique (1901). Descriptions of lesbian salons, cafes and restaurants were included in tourist guides and journalism of the era, as well as mention of houses of prostitution that were uniquely for lesbians. Toulouse Lautrec created paintings of many of the lesbians he met, some of whom frequented or worked at the famed Moulin Rouge. — Wikipedia

Sounds like a great place and we’ll definitely be visiting :)

#anna lightwood #ariadne bridgestock #eet #gotsm #tsc #th

[coolitoff]

What I’ve Been Reading

30 August 2018

So this post is a bit different from what you would expect from a study abroad blog, but seeing as a need something to fill the time before I leave, I figured that I could share some of my favourite things I read this summer with you! 

Crazy Rich Asians Series by Kevin Kwan

This is the book series of the moment! I started reading the first book last summer when I heard they were making a movie, determined to read it before it came out.... flash forward a year and I was 50 pages from the end when I saw the movie. It was actually kind of nice to be left in suspense, as both the book and movie endings - while different - were surprises! As I write this post, I’m listening to the movie soundtrack and I’ve already seen the movie twice! Being half-Chinese, this movie was extremely extremely important to me as a form of representation (as is the next book series and subsequent movie) and it was an amazing movie and book series. If you’ve only read the first book because of the movie, I highly recommend reading the next two books (I actually like the second book, China Rich Girlfriend, the best. I’m currently half-way through the last book, Rich People Problems, and I plan on reading it this weekend at the lake). The books are hilarious and I can’t wait until the movie sequel! 

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Series by Jenny Han

Speaking of books that are very important in terms of Asian-American representation... here is my favourite book series of all time, which I re-read for probably the third or fourth time this summer. I first stumbled upon the first book, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, in high school and found the perspective of half-Korean, romantic, dreamy, old-fashioned Lara Jean extremely relatable. Lara Jean would rather stay home and hang out with her family than go out to high school parties - she bakes, crafts, and is romantic to the point of writing love letters to all of her old and current crushes (never intending to send them, that is - of course, them being anonymously sent out is the beginning of the first book). This summer, Netflix released a movie adaptation of the first book, spurring my re-read. The movie has gained a big online following, and rightly so! I’m so glad that young Asian-Americans can see themselves represented on screen, especially in romantic comedies like To All the Boys and Crazy Rich Asians. Since I am vastly unarticulate when it comes to my feelings, I thought that I would instead share a piece by Tanya Chen about Kimberly Yam’s emotional reaction to Crazy Rich Asians, which conveys a lot of my feelings about the movie - you can find it here.

Anna and the French Kiss Series by Stephanie Perkins

I flew through this series at the very beginning of the summer, so I can’t really say much about the plot to each book except that each one follows a different character on their way to love. It’s an extremely cute book series and a definitely romantic and easy beach read!

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer & Annie Barrows

Another book I really tore through in anticipation of the movie! I read this book in a day when I was in Ohio for a week, and I cannot recommend it or the movie enough. If you couldn’t tell, I’m a big sucker for romances, and this book is no different. Written as a series of letters, the format is one I have never liked in the past. But the charm of this book - and it’s main character, Juliet Ashton - really changed my mind about the style. Set in 1946 after World War II, the book follows Juliet and her correspondence with the inhabitants of Guernsey (which was occupied during the war). I won’t say anything else to spoil it, except that the movie stars Lily James, Michiel Huisman, Jessica Brown Findlay, Matthew Goode and Penelope Wilton, so if you like Downton Abbey you will definitely like this movie! (and book, as you can use your imagination to picture these amazing and beautiful actors in their roles, as I did)

Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda & Leah on the Offbeat by Becky Albertalli (also known as the Creekwood Series? According to Goodreads.com)

It seems as though a theme in my reading has emerged... I may read books that have been turned into movies, or are soon to be turned into movies. I think there’s something about having a cast that allows me to imagine the book better or at least I’ll use that as my excuse! Anywho, these two books (in the theme of representation) are amazing LGBTQ+ representation for both gay and bisexual characters. Scarce is media that represents, let alone says the word, bisexuals, so I really enjoyed Leah on the Offbeat (this is a random offshoot, but if you want to see some a fun, light, and happy show that gets an A+ in representation, watch Brooklyn Nine-Nine!). Prayers for a movie about Leah!

Suitors and Sabotage by Cindy Anstey

Last summer, I read two other books by Anstey - Love, Lies and Spies and Duels and Deception - and loved them, so I just had to read her new book, Suitors and Sabotage. All of her books have Jane Austen-y heroines set in the Georgian Era, which was a big draw for me. The heroines are charming, the mysteries intriguing, and the love interests dashing. I can’t recommend these books enough and I’m super excited for her next book, Carols and Chaos, that comes out in October of this year. Another quick note, the publisher, Swoon Reads, does a lot of cute and romantic YA books, so if you’re into that (like I clearly am) I recommend taking a scroll through their website. (Her book covers are so pretty that I had to include them all here!)

I read many more books but these were my favourites! We’ll see what I come up with for my next post! 

Cheers :)

Helena

#books #reading #ya lit #summer reading #beach reads #predeparture #crazy rich asians #to all the boys i've loved before #anna and the french kiss #the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society #simon vs. the homo sapiens agenda #leah on the offbeat #suitors and sabotage #book reviews #book recommendations

[thegrandtortoise]

The Exchange Students

Chapter: 4/? 

Scorpius POV

Fic Summary: Hogwarts decides to create an Inter-House exchange program, and the fifth years of Slytherin House get two unexpected visitors: Enter Adhira Nazari- perceptive, nerdy, Hufflepuff, and Scorpius Malfoy- mysterious Gryffindor that’s caught the eye of Albus Potter. (Alright I’m giving up with this summary there’s like five important characters and I’m too lazy to describe them all. Basically it’s next-gen, there’s a lot of fluff and romance and lgbtq and I’ll try to make it funny okay thanks I hope you like it)

Chapter Summary:  We get a little look inside Scorpius's (gay as hell) mind, and surprise surprise- a little flashback!

Word Count: 2280

Rating: Teen and Up

Warnings: Spoilers, Panic Attacks

(I will add more as I add chapters so keep a lookout)

A/N:  Right, so here it is! Scorpius's POV! This didn't go exactly how I imagined it would go, but I'm really happy with it. It's also kinda long, so yay! Trigger Warning: Panic attacks (nothing too major, but tbh I did get a little emotional while writing that part so I thought I would include this)

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing you recognize, it all belongs to Queen JK Rowling.

(ao3 link)

(read from beginning)

Chapter 4: Scorpius POV

           I stare up at the green hangings above me, willing them to turn red. Or blue. Or even yellow, for Merlin’s sake. Wait, no, not Merlin. He was Slytherin too.

           Godric, what have I gotten myself into?

           When I signed up for the exchange program, I wasn’t betting on getting put into Slytherin. It was actually the last thing I wanted. I was betting on the chance that I was going to get into Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff.

           I know what you’re thinking. But Scorpius, when you signed up you should have known that there was a chance to be in Slyther- yeah, I KNOW. I was an idiot, and now I’m paying for it.

           Of all the Houses, Slytherin. It had to be Slytherin, with the dim, damp common room, with the weird serpents carved into the ceiling,  with the expensive silver antiques everywhere- with Albus frickin’ Potter.

           Albus frickin’ Potter, with his stupid messy black hair and his stupid ‘emerald’ eyes and his stupid glasses with the stupid frames that he looks stupidly cute in.

           Stupid, stupid, stupid.

           And now the word has lost all meaning.

           I groan loudly, and pull my blanket up over my head, squeezing my eyes shut tightly. The only saving grace in this place is that the sun isn’t directly in my eyes in the mornings. It’s really fun when you’re a first year Gryffindor that thinks he’s let his entire family down, and on top of that you’re half blind the next morning.

           I have a lot of pent up emotions.

           “Malfoy, mate, we’re going to be late for class. Better hustle,” Tanaka says from somewhere next me, and proceeds to pull my blanket off of me, leaving me cold, and also half-naked. Wow. More fun.

           Shivering, I grab the nearest t-shirt (which was on the floor) and my stuff, and head for the bathroom, which is locked. Yawning, I knock on the door.

           “You almost done in there?” I yell. There’s a weird scuffling sound, and then a voice.

           “Yeah mate, I just…can’t seem to find my…shirt,” the voice says. It’s Albus.

           More scuffling, and then the door clicks open. From the steam and the yellow light emerges a (rather pretty) shirtless Albus Potter. Still damp. And wearing his glasses.

           Yikes.

           He looks at me, and then at my torso.

           “That’s my shirt,” he says, pointing. I glance down, horrified. Shit. I must’ve picked up the wrong shirt from the ground.

           “Oh, um- I’m- I’m sorry,” I say quickly, and pull it off, handing it to him. My face is burning. It’s literally on fire. “I’ll just- go get another,” I ramble, heading back to my bed and leaning down to grab a shirt that is (I double-check) definitely mine.

           Albus is still standing by the door, holding the crumpled shirt in his hand as I walk into the bathroom and shut the door behind me. The image of him is burned into my retinas.

           I think I might go for a cold shower today.

           All the Slytherin fifth years have the same class Tuesday morning (Defense Against the Dark Arts), so us boys have joined ranks with the girls, and we’re all trooping up together from the breakfast hall. I think there’s a house elf down in the kitchens that favors the Slytherins, because the pancakes today were the best I’ve ever tasted.

           Adhira Nazari, the Hufflepuff transfer, is at the front, squished in between Tina Chang and Lila Kim, who are busy interrogating her about something. Poor girl. She’s probably even more overwhelmed than I am.

           Behind them are Matt Peterson and Albus who are chatting like the old friends that they are. Actually, it looks more like Matt is staring at something in front of him and Albus is talking at him. Speaking of Albus, I’m pretty sure that his robes have been modified or something because it should be criminal to look that good in a school uniform.

           Directly in front of me are Kaito Tanaka, Sebastian Alvarez, and Rose Weasley. Weasley seems to be regretting her choice to walk with them, because Alverez is flirting with her shamelessly, and she keeps snapping at him with those classic, cold Slytherin remarks. It’s rather funny, actually, but good for her. As far as I know, Alvarez is the biggest player in the school, and most of the girls that fall for him end up heartbroken while Alvarez gets off scot free with his absurdly good looks. Not to mention that he’s the star chaser of the Slytherin Quidditch team. He has got a fair number of enemies, though, I’ll say that.

           I’m strolling along behind all of them, feeling slightly awkward with Veronica Westbrook next to me, her nose buried in yet another book. I don’t think I’ve seen her even once without one at least three feet away. I try to get a look at what she’s reading, but her hand is obscuring the title.

           “So…what are you reading?” I try. Veronica just holds up the book for me to see. Something called The Blood of Olympus.

           “Sounds dark,” I say. “Is it any good?”

           She shrugs.

           “Not a big talker, then?” This time I get no acknowledgement whatsoever. I wonder if she’s even listening to me.

           “You know, you’re about to walk right into a wall.” Nothing.

           “Peeves is about to drop a Dungbomb on you.” Again, nothing. I wonder…

           “I think Albus Potter is fit.” I may have just made the biggest mistake of my life. But still- no response. I check to make sure no one is listening, and then lean in closer to Veronica. “In fact, I fancy Albus Potter.”

           Nothing. I lean back to where I was before. “That good, huh?”

           Silence.

             After a lot of climbing, we reach the Defense classroom, panting slightly. After all, it has been a while since we had to climb several flights of stairs. The classroom is already half full- we share this period with the Ravenclaws, and as usual, they are early. They’re comparing notes from other classes at the moment- the cheeky little smartasses. Professor Potter (yes, that Potter) is chatting with a couple of them, asking about their summers. When we walk in, Professor Potter looks up.            

           “And here’s the rest of the class, just on time! Let’s get started, shall we?” Professor Potter says, whipping out his holly and phoenix feather wand, exactly 11 and a ½ inches long.

           Oh yeah. I’m a bit of a Harry Potter fanboy.

           It drives my father crazy.

           “Today,” Professor Potter starts, “we will be attempting the Patronus charm.”

           A couple of gasps and also squeals of excitement from around the room.

           “Can anyone tell me what the Patronus is used for? Except for Al and Rose,” Professor Potter says, shooting a pointed look at his son and niece. Obviously, they already know the charm. I’m pretty sure all the Potter-Weasleys have it down, considering that Harry Potter considers it one of the most important charms that anyone can know.

           Instead, he picks an overeager Ravenclaw who answers the question like he’s memorized the entire textbook. Which he probably has.

           “Very good,” Professor Potter praises. “Now, can everyone get their wands out, please? I want all the desks moved to the sides of the classroom. Quickly, please.”

           The class stands up and we work together to slide the heavy wooden tables to the perimeter of the classroom. Professor Potter then directs us to stand in a big circle, and he positions himself in the middle.

           “Excellent. Now- the Patronus charm is a difficult one, but I’m sure that you will all get it soon enough. Casting the charm requires a happy memory- your happiest, preferably. I’ll give you a minute to think of one.”

           We stand in silence, and I search my mind. My happiest memory…

           First year. First day. The Great Hall, the sky a swirling mass of drab, grey clouds. Sitting alone at the Gryffindor table, all the people I knew across a room that seems as big as a whole country. A bright red letter floating in front of me.

           Clutching it in my hands as it grows hot, running as fast as I can out of the hall and through the main doors onto the grounds, only releasing the letter when it singes my fingertips. Sinking to my knees as the letter rises up and opens itself to unleash the worst words I’ll ever hear.

           “How could this happen?” Squeezing my eyes together.

           “I’m so ashamed.” Throat closing up.

           “Why not Ravenclaw, or even Hufflepuff? Why Gryffindor?” Tears pricking the back of my eyes.

           “We’re so disappointed in you, Scorpius.” Can’t see. “Shame on you.” Can’t think. “You dishonor us.” Can’t breathe.

           Suffocation. Panic. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Everything at the same time, clogging up my mind, my thoughts, my throat, my body, not letting anything through, not letting anything out, swirling thoughts of pain and terror, visions of my family, pale faces and pointed noses and grey eyes, staring down at me, no love, no happiness, no care, just disappointment and shame and I can’t take it anymo-

           “Malfoy?” Release. A breath, a wipe at my eyes. Turning around to see who is casting the shadow over me.

           “Yes?” It’s Hagrid. I know because who else is a half-giant with the biggest beard I’ve ever seen?

           “You alright there, lad?”

           I stand tall, ignoring the burning paper behind me. I might be a Gryffindor, but I am still a Malfoy. I still have a reputation to uphold.

           “I’m fine,” I say, not meeting his eyes, which are beetle black and glisten with kindness and concern. Exactly how Harry Potter describes them. If I look at them, I’ll melt. I know it.

           “Why don’t you come in for a cuppa tea?”

I stare up at him. Tea? How…how could tea fix this?

“We’ll have a look at the pumpkins, and I’ll give you a little sneak peek at the Diricawls that I’ve been breeding. Rather fluffy and cute, if I say so myself.”

Pumpkins? And what on earth are Diricawls?

“Come on. Get your mind off your troubles for a bit. You don’t want to miss my famous fruitcake, do you?”

Well, fruitcake does sound good…

“Well…alright then. I suppose a cup of tea wouldn’t hurt.” I say. He grins, and claps a hand on my back, which nearly pitches me forward into the ground.

“There’s a good lad,” Hagrid says, and leads me to his hut, which while small, is rather cozy, and neatly kept.

He sits me down on a cushy chair, and pours me a cup of steaming black tea, with plenty of cream and sugar. It’s delicious. A plate of fruitcakes sits on the table, and he offers me some. I take one and quickly realize that these are not cakes that one can bite into. Quite nice to suck on, though.

He starts talking, and I just sit there quietly as he chatters on, sipping my tea.

“I saw you at the Sorting yesterday. Was a bit surprised that you got into Gryffindor, but I think you’ll do well. You’ve got that look in your eye. Same look that little Harry had when I saw him as an eleven-year old. Bit scared, nervous maybe. But you’re brave. I can tell, trust me. I’ve seen enough Gryffindors come and go to know one when I see one.”

“It isn’t all bad, y’know. You’ll make friends. It’s near impossible not to. You can try out for the Quidditch team, or you can always join the Gobstones club. They’re always looking for new members. Or go for Dumbledore’s Army. Harry- erm, excuse me, Professor Potter is the head of that one. Or do something else, y’know? Whatever you want, really.”

“I knew your father- hell, I knew your grandfather. I’m old, I am. Still here though. My back’s a bit crooked and my mind’s off with the fairies half the time, but I’m still here. If I can push through, so can you. I know you think you’ve been disowned, but you need to relax. Your family will get over it. Your father made nice with Professor Potter, didn’t he? He’ll accept you too. Jus’ give it a bit o’ time. They’ll come around, don’t worry.”

He spends nearly a half hour talking to me before I start responding, and I find that it’s ridiculously easy to talk to this kind, slightly scatterbrained old man. After I finish eating, he takes me outside to look at the pumpkins, and I comment on how large they are. He beams proudly. Then, he shows me the Diricawls, which turn out to be fluffy, flightless birds that disappear whenever I try to touch them.

“They’re just a bit jumpy,” Hagrid explains. “Don’t be like them, Scorpius. You ever get scared, don’t disappear like they do. Talk to someone. Talk to me, if you want. Push through it, and you’ll be fine.”

             I chuckle as I think about that day. My happiest memory. I still adore Diricawls and Hagrid’s cakes to this day.

           “Everyone have their memory?” Professor Potter asks, and I’m snapped back to the present. Everyone nods.

           “Excellent. Now, for the incantation,” he says, and takes out his wand. “Expecto Patronum.”

           I know what’s coming before it even appears; the famous stag, which prances around the room until Professor Potter releases the spell and it fades away, leaving us with a faint sense of happiness.

           “Now, you try it.”

           Taking a deep breath, I hold out my wand as everyone else is, and focus hard on my memory.

           “Expecto Patronum.”

#the exchange students #thegrandtortoise writes #hp #harry potter next gen #hp fic #fanfic #fanfiction #harry potter fanfic #harry potter #scorpius malfoy #albus potter #scorbus

[pixie-skull]

# 24 Post: “Get to know me Better Part Deux” Tag

Get to know me Better Part Deux

@odd-cinderella Thank you for tagging me. :D I am so humbled darling.

Rule: tag ten followers you want to get to know better (I like saying potential pals, instead “followers”)

- Name: Emily (I am aware my username so new, yet hopefully some nicknames can be made?)

- Gender: Confusing, I do not mind typically being seen as a woman, yet with thinking I am demi-girl or gender-fluid. Woman and agender. I go by both they/them and her/she. This first time being very out about it. Hopefully, when I transfer I will be more.

- Star sign: Aries (not hot-tempered, I am the romantic type. :D )

- Height: 5ft 3in like Logan James Howlett AKA Wolverine in the Marvel Comics.

- Sexuality: Panromantic Demisexual, leaning towards women (single). I am though waiting til marriage too, and may be ace too.

What image do you have as wallpaper: On this site, I had a rainbow moon gif, yet now Josephine Wall’s art. I am a sucker for beautiful details. On my phone, I had She-Hulk ^*_*^ Now a color palette of periwinkle, lilac, lavender, and violet.

- Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?: If I have, not remembering.

- Where do you see yourself in 10 years: Very soon I am turning 21, yet ten years I turn 30 and almost 31. O.O I would be celebrating my gold birthday. https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=golden%20birthday I hope for: 1. Being with people who make me feel happy, like being friends with @theghostlightison still and I be happy if in love and maybe engaged. My school I pray to transfer it has a huge LGBTQ+ student body so I may meet my future spouse. ^*_*^ 2. I hope to have a stable job and feel enriched by the fact it makes me good, rather being paid. 3. My writing being published.

- If you could be anywhere else right now, where?: Dougal, Ireland due to wanting to see relatives and see the beautiful landscape. Also, New Zealand for THE LORD OF THE RINGS! =D

- What was your coolest Halloween costume?: @odd-cinderella I can relate to cosplaying. I am stuck between my first comic-con where I went as a Hobbit or my last year Halloween Costume when as “Scott Pilgrim versus the World” Ramona Flowers.

- What’s your favorite 90s show?: Also like @odd-cinderella I specifically choose from different types of shows, Anime: Sailor Moon. American Cartoons: I remember as a kid liking Spongebob Squarepants a lot. Live-action: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I have older siblings hence watching the show.

- Last kiss?: If you saw my post of my “# 18 Post: 18 ships of mine” or along those lines, I kissed someone who I said to keep his identity not to be known as Dreamworks “Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas” as Kale, due he looks like the character. I thought we were dating, he thinks we are friends, so after a few weeks of me thinking he was my eighth relationship, I asked, and he said being friends he prefers. Kinda peeved off he does not understand kissing a huge step for me being demisexual, yet upside, he was a fun make-out. Upside still friends and jokingly “flirt”.

- Have you ever been stood up?: I do not think so, I came close to, but glad I did not do it. The person, they were nice, yet just sad to not click.

- Have you ever been to Las Vegas?: Drove with my family through it, so kinda.

- Favorite pair of shoes: I like my boots that I jokingly dub “My Slayer boots”, which with my matching fake leather black jacket I feel like Buffy Summers.

- Favorite fruit: Pomegranate, the juice, the seeds covered in dark chocolate, and more good.

- Favorite book: I am stuck between “The Last Unicorn” Peter S. Beagle (I love the animated movie, so favorite animated movie based on a book).

 “Frankenstein; The Modern Prometheus” by Mary Shelly or “Dracula” by Bram Stoker (favorite story due to living action movies, even though the books are better).

Hoping to start “What Dreams May Come” (The movie holds a special a place in my heart) Richard Matheson. I am aware there are common themes here, yet whatever. XD

I have read “The Lord of the Rings” and “The Hobbit” (I liked the movies more)

- Stupidest thing you’ve ever done: Letting my seventh ex, take a squeeze at my chest. It has drastically changed my confidence in my body to a certain amount, this was an almost a year ago. I was in kickboxing and due to this wore tighter outfits than I like, then one day he just grabbed at my shirt and I told him no, he than said something like “I am already respecting your choice to wait, so why not just this”. I was so stressed out by the school by then so I did not think much as I should and thought that was valid. Granted it bothered me I dated such a slimeball. Bothers me how he then, later on, he tried to convince me to “give out”. I kept saying no and luckily stood my ground on this. He clearly was not happy, yet tired to manipulate me, make me feel guilty, and more. Bums me out further this white boy had the guys to say very borderline racist things, like saying the “N” word with a soft “A”, not a hard “R”. Luckily we dated under a month, yet I still feel dumb I dated him. I *trigger warning* even scratch (like with pins) my forearms, shoulders, and chest to be “ugly” so he stops. Luckily barely any scars, but ugh. I am now in a better place, just bothers me how that happened. Luckily compared to my other formally dated who I am friends with, he is far away from me. (I do use Disney Phoebus to represent him, even though this boy so weak like I have more muscles than him, yet he still slithered negative things in my mind). To make it sadder I dated someone so much more understanding a gentleman, who I choose as Naveen when talking about him due looks closest to him.

On a positive note, I am growing to be happier, even though, now I am feeling sad lately, this helped cheer me up. Also, my birthday coming up, I will see family, and get my hair dyed, have a party with friends who make me happy, and more. 

0. @themostlyclosetedteen 

1. @sailorzelda94  

2. @winglesshopeful 

3. @myhollie1911  

4. @thenamelessdoll  

5. @disneyfemslash 

6. @animagix101  

7. @geebs96 

8. @vulpeproductions  

9. @ultraviolet04 

10. @hashtag-mylife

The numbers mean nothing, just wanted to keep track. Yes, I can count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10, yet why not include 0? XD

#Q and A #So strange to reveal my name #Pan and proud #proud pansexual oh wait in my case panromantic #Panromantic and proud #Pansexuality #Pan #The Lord of the Rings #LOTR #The Last Unicorn

[i-like-your-genitalia]

I wanna be *that* person just once... answer all of the questions

Lmao well if you are gonna be that person you better read my answer to every single one of these questions 😂😂😂 (I’ll leave the ones I’ve already answered)

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood? N/A
2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

Yeah I had two cats and a border collie ♥️
3.) have you ever been drunk?

Fuck yes 
4.) have you ever tried drugs?

Yup, nothing hardcore tho 
5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?

Pretty much everything that I say 24/7??????? Yeah probably when I told that guy I loved him and he didn’t love me back Ahahah
6.) have you ever made someone cry?

Yeah, though it’s usually from being really funny or making them sad-happy cry 
7.) has someone ever made you cry?

All my friends and most of my family 
8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it? N/A

9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?

Considering I believe in god, I’m gonna go with the chicken. 
10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

I identify as bi and support all the lgbtq+ community. Everyone deserves to have a support system and find people who are similar and have had similar experiences to them 
11.) how many siblings do you have?

Just the one 
12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love? N/A

13.) are you a good cook?

I like to think so, though the number of dishes I can makes probably wants expanding 
14.) what is your favorite tv show?

Omg don’t ask me this 😭😭 Supernatural, Criminal Minds, The OA, 3%, Brooklyn 99, Arrested Development, Broadchurch, Whitechapel, Orphan Black, The Get Down….I have so many and I don’t have a singular favourite! 
15.) what is the last movie you cried during?

Idk, probably beauty and the beast (animated version) I always cry watching that
16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

Omg a youtuber who does videos mainly taking the piss. Is actually super into music and can sing and I heard a cover he did of a one direction song and cried! 
17.) do you have a middle name?

I have two even 😂
18.) have you been out of your country?

Lmao definitely 
19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?

Fucking hell yes! I’d die without chocolate tbh 
20.) how many people have you kissed?

Maybe 4????
21.) what is your favorite album?

Forest Hill Drive - J Cole & 4 your eyes only - J Cole 
22.) what is your dream car?

Either an Classic American Muscle car or something from a James Bond film
23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?

18
24.) what is your favorite flower?

Forget me nots or baby’s breath (?)

25.) books or movies, why?

Depends, I love books. But I watch way more movies! So probably movies 
26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

Nope and wouldn’t be that keen to try
27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?

Yup, should have know they were a snake 
28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

Not purposely, no!
29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?I’m not really sure 
30.) do you have neat handwriting?

Depends on what pen I’m using honestly 
31.) do you have a friend with benefits?

No ahahahah
32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

It would be cool to try, but I feel as though I wouldn’t be able to cope with it 
33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?

Rich
34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

No, but I’ve had some nights that have been a bit patchy 
35.) have you ever met someone famous?

I met the all blacks team once 
36.) how many concerts have you been to?

One and going to another in October 
37.) which concerts have you been to?

I went to see The Cure and and going to see J Cole soon 🎉
38.) do you have a hidden talent?

I can poke you exactly in the belly button, even if I can’t see where it is 
39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?

Sleep, or procrastinate to the point of even more stress 
40.) do you think money can buy love?

No
41.) how old would you date?

Well I’m 18, almost 19. So I probably wouldn’t date past 25.
42.) have you ever done something illegal?

Probably 
43.) what is your biggest fear?

Being alone 
44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

I don’t really have one 
45.) can you drive?

Yeah but only in New Zealand 
46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

For sure 
47.) do you believe in karma?

Definitely, I’m just waiting for a few people to get what they deserve 
48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

Humour 
49.) do looks matter?

Not particularly, but they definitely help. But in the end it doesn’t matter 
50.) does size matter?

Nope, as long as you are happy
51.) who is the last person you forgave?

My best friend for cracking not even 2 days into Junk free June. Something we are suppose to be doing together lmao 
52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Oooooooh! Ben and Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cup or Mint chocolate chip 
53.) what languages can you speak besides english?

Unfortunately just English 
54.) ever been on a plane?

Yes, I love planes 
55.) ever been on a boat?

Yeah! 
56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

A few people, but it is what it is
57.) are there any friendships you regret?

Surprisingly not that many, but there are a few I wish could have been avoided 
58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

Probably with my mutuals and a few people I went to high school with who seem really cool! But it’s too late to try and initiate anything now
59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?

Yes, and like with my 48 hours awake. I died. I love sleep too much 
60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

Yeah, to get Maccas and because i was too broke to taxi and it was to late for buses 
61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?

Yeah, me and a friend specially got up to watch it! Sat on the room in out sleeping bags to see it! 
62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

Ahahahahah yes but I still love them 
63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?

Currently it’s pretty low probably a 2 
64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

Might go clubbing but also might sleep
65.) do you miss anyone right now?

@dysfunctionalgroup
66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

I’m already talking to the people I want to be talking to! 
67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?

Mind Reading
68.) who is your favorite superhero?

At the moment Iron Man and Wonder Woman 
69.) are you dirty minded?

Ahahahah yes 
70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

Red Red Wine- U2 (80’s)Don’t Speak- No Doubt or Ready or Not- Fugees (all of the 90’s have some good vibes tho so…)Fuck You- Lilly Allen (00’s)Stay with Me- Sam Smith (2010’s) 
71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?

2 ideally but I wouldn’t be opposed to more or less
72.) who is your biggest OTP?

DESTIEL 
73.) what is your favorite food?

All food 
74.) do you want to be married one day?

It would be nice!
75.) dogs or cats?

Both but I probably would go for a cat 
76.) do you drink enough water daily?

I drink so much water, I’m currently at about 3 litres a day 
77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?

Yeah, they are cool! Sadly none of my wishes have been granted 
78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

I guess 
79.) how many best friends do you have?

I think 4?????
80.) when was the last time you cried?Like 2 days ago, I had really bad period cramps 
81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?

Yes ahahahah, it’s always a major concern of mine!
82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed? N/A
83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?

Well I want to go back to New Zealand, but also really want to go and visit Italy again 
84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

Funny, Kind and Cuddly 
85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?

I like to think so 
86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Summer, I love the heat and the fashion, I like going to the beach and chilling by pool! I like day drinking and being lazy! I like seeing the sun and having long days! 
87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?

Yes, and there are few who I know have done the same back 
88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

I can technically play the piano but not very well
89.) do like like falling asleep to music or not?

Depends on my mood and the music 
90.) what are you allergic to?

Nothing that I know of
91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?

Yeah, anyone famous or rich tbh
92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

I really don’t know 😒
93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why?

Definitely want to be friends with Rhianna or Chance the Rapper they seem like a lot time honestly! And can’t go wrong with someone who’s always gonna have good music going! But also love to have Misha Collins as a bestie 
94.) are you outgoing?

When I want to be! 
95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?

Yes 
96.) are you a good flirt?

When I’m not being awkward and putting my foot in my mouth yes! 
97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?
Yes to both

98.) which planet is your favorite? N/A
99.) are you superstitious?

A little bit but not majorly 
100.) are you a good listener?

I think so! 
101.) are you a good kisser

I don’t know, probably just average! I don’t get that much practise 
102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

All of them!!!!! Well @dysfunctionalgroup and maybe a couple of others who I know wouldn’t take it seriously if I kissed them!

#my asks #answered asks #ask me anything

[baeleywilliams]

Evens!

!!!!

You got it boo!

2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet?

I had a beta fish that I named “rainbow fish” and I had another beta named Korn (after the fucking band) and my mom accidentally killed Korn because when we cleaned his tank and replaced his water the water was too cold, killing him instantly

4.) have you ever tried drugs?

No, and I don’t really have the intention to

6.) have you ever made someone cry?

apparently but she was a bitch to me too so idgaf

8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it.

Oh definitely. Um. God this is gunna be gay. But most recently it was with my current BF Charlie @thecreamsiclefox and. I don’t really know when it was but I guess I just. I finally realized that I want to spend as much time as possible with him and that he’s someone I never wanna let go of and I really could spend the rest of my life with him, romantically.

10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?

FUCK YEAH BOIIII PANSEXUAL AF

12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?

lmao technically

is he out yet??? anyways he was gay so I guess that counts?

14.) what is your favorite tv show?

I don’t really watch a lot of TV but I loved Firefly like a fuck ton

16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)

The first one that comes to mind is Shake by Jared Mees and the Grown Children. I was in the car with Charlie and we were driving late at night, I think he was taking me home? it was near either the end of senior year or the end of summer. It’s all about forcing yourself to be happy even though a lot of shit is going down and I was feeling that really hard because I had to go to college and “I am trying to love/What I have to leave/And I’m trying not to grieve/Prematurely” really hit home because I had been thinking about how much I needed to soak up loving my friends and hanging out with my boyfriend because I’d have to leave soon and I didn’t know how often I could come home and I was so scared everything was going to just go away. The song wasn’t even half over and I was just weeping in the passenger seat and I asked him to just skip the song. I’ve relistened to it since then and it’s honestly a fave of mine and I don’t really cry anymore. But it just really hit me hard that first time, and it still does if I think too much.

18.) have you been out of your country?

no :/

20.) how many people have you kissed?

UHH

Four? and then like maybe two halves depending on what you count. But whatever.

22.) what is your dream car?

a manual compact that works and is paid off

24.) what is your favorite flower?

I’ve never really had a favorite flower, but I guess I really like orchids?

26.) have you ever been on a blind date?

No actually

28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?

UM NO?? And if I have it was NOT intentional I love my friends

30.) do you have neat handwriting?

Other people think I do. but I need to write more or else it’ll get really bad

32.) do you want a friend with benefits?

Uh no thanks I’m good. If I were single maybe but probably not. I get emotionally attached very easily

34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?

Definitely not

36.) how many concerts have you been to?

Not including festivals or like, the rodeo: 11. I think that’s it

38.) do you have a hidden talent?

bruh I don’t got no talents

40.) do you think money can buy love?

No, but buying things for the one you love is always nice

42.) have you ever done something illegal?

oh yeah

44.) what is an unusual fear you have?

I dunno if it’s unusual but I am deathly afraid of roaches. like you can have one smaller than ya pinky dead in the corner and I’ll just start yelling and crying and I will straight up leave

46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?

duh wtf el chupacabra RAISED me

48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?

They gotta make me laugh

50.) does size matter?

I mean. I MEAN. more than a mouthful and all that. but like. yeah.

52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Either mint chocolate chip, rocky road, or red velvet

54.) ever been on a plane?

Twice! Round trip to Seattle

56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t?

I kinda wish I still talked to a lot of my childhood friends, but I don’t so :/

58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?

??? idk I’m p satisfied w my current friendships

60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?

Yeah. And I’m going to have to do it a lot more starting next semester. Welp

62.) are you scared of rollercoasters?

NO WAY!!! PLEASE LET ME RIDE ALL OF THEM!!!

64.) do you have any plans this weekend?

The weekend is over today. But i did go record shopping with a friend yesterday (Chase if you must know). idk what I’m doin this weekend.

66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?

MY DUMB GAY PIECE OF SHIT BOYFRIEND. He’s taking like a time out chill day and keeps getting distracted

Honestly I just wanna like. HANG OUT WITH people. Like my college friends and some more friends I haven’t seen in a while

Technically I’m perfectly capable of talking to anyone right now but I mean anxiety

68.) who is your favorite superhero?

JUBILATION LEE (Jubilee). She’s Marvel, an X-men

70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?

FUCK NO WE AIN’T DOIN THAT. One song for every ten years?? chill

72.) who is your biggest OTP?

shut up I hate myself JohnVris Homestuck AND I’M NOT EVEN CAUGHT UP

Oh or maybe CeciLos, Nightvale

74.) do you want to be married one day?

It would be really cool

76.) do you drink enough water daily?

lmao no

78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?

FUCK YES

80.) when was the last time you cried?

fuck if I know. not today though!!! proud of me.

82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?

I hope so

84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?

emo gay sad

86.) what is your favorite season and why?

Summer because I can wear shorts and have fun

88.) do you know how to play any instruments?

I know the bass and the clarinet and I can kinda guitar probably

90.) what are you allergic to?

Nothing actually, I even had testing done

92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?

Uh probably but idk who my fave character is so

Rachel (Friends) goes through too much damn drama but I want her closet

94.) are you outgoing?

Sometimes but not really

96.) are you a good flirt?

Sometimes but not really

98.) which planet is your favorite?

UH???

Saturn??

100.) are you a good listener?

I like to think so

102.) would you kiss any of your friends?

uh like on the cheek or smth maybe but the mouth is reserved for Charlie whether he likes it or not (he doesn’t but too bad)

Send me a number!! (any odd number?)

#saintesaysletsdance #asks

[kristablogs]

Anti-Black bias affects just about everyone. What’s the best way to deal with implicit racism?

Anti-Black bias can even shared by Black people. (Clay Banks via Unsplash/)

In a world where many people actively work to fight against systemic racism and even more claim to be “woke,” the science of implicit bias reveals why most of us still have work to do. Implicit biases are like puppeteers lurking inside our heads, coloring our every action with unconscious stereotyping and prejudice.

Humans begin forming simple mental links in infancy: We learn to associate highchairs with mealtime, parents with comfort, and cribs with naps. Data streams at us from all directions—news reports, television shows, family chats, friendly gossip—and we absorb it all. But this unconscious practice of grouping different words and objects gets more complex as we grow up, and it gives rise to insidious racial biases. Because many of the world’s sources of stimuli, especially television news reports, present Black people as criminals or threatening characters, our brains naturally begin to make an all-too-common connection—Black people and danger go together.

These biases quietly and unconsciously influence our actions throughout our lives, even as some of us actively protest against racism and discrimination. Implicit biases can be just as dangerous as consciously, actively demonstrated acts of racism, such as using slurs or attacking Black people, and they’re much more insidious. In a chilling 2002 study, randomly selected participants played a video game that featured photographs of white and Black individuals holding either a gun or another object (a wallet, soda can, or cell phone). Subjects were told to decide, as quickly as possible, whether or not to shoot the character. Consistent with earlier studies, nearly everyone made the “correct” decision to shoot at an armed Black individual more often than a white individual.

Various studies, including one conducted in 2018, confirm that Black people carry the same bias. Subjects identified dangerous objects, such as guns, much faster after viewing a Black face compared to a face with both Black and white features. These snappy, adrenaline-driven responses arise from reflexive, unconscious thought processes rather than deliberate, careful reflections.

Implicit biases can weigh BIPOC down every day—and destroy their lives in an instant. Researchers are working to understand how these insidious stereotypes drive our behavior, and how we might learn to shake them off.

The origins of implicit bias

We can trace the origins of implicit bias—or at least our cultural awareness of it—back to a thick manila envelope sitting in a P.O. Box in New Haven in 1990. Mahzarin Banaji, then a graduate student in psychology at Yale University, had always been fascinated by the idea of implicit memory—past experiences that we’re not consciously aware of, but that still manage to control our actions. When Banaji came across famous cognitive psychologist Larry Jacoby’s study on the subject, she decided to replicate the experiments for herself.

The simple and elegant study, “Becoming Famous Overnight,” was published in 1989. First, the subject reads through a list of names pulled from a phone book, such as Sebastian Weisdorf—these names are designated as “old not-famous.” The next day, the subject goes through a new list with three types of names: the old not-famous names, new not-famous names (like Andrew Ringren), and famous names (like Wayne Gretzky, a then-well-known hockey player from Canada). The subject then sorts the names into two piles—famous and not-famous. Sorting errors arose almost exclusively from old not-famous names, which subjects mistakenly sorted into the famous pile, thus confirming Jacoby’s hypothesis of implicit memory. Memories have a texture to them, and the inexplicable familiarity of the name Sebastian Weisdorf caused confusion, guiding subjects to mark them as belonging to celebrities.

A year after the study’s publication, Banaji wrote a postcard to Jacoby asking for the data, and soon enough, a manila envelope appeared in her mailbox. When she rifled through the pages, she found something puzzling—all the names were male. Banaji repeated the experiment using a mix of names and discovered that non-famous females didn’t tend to follow Jacoby’s hypothesis: Sally Weisdorf didn’t become famous overnight like Sebastian Weisdorf did.

Banaji began chatting with subjects after the tests were finished, asking them if they considered gender while sorting. Had they been making the conscious decision that vaguely familiar men were more likely to be celebrities than vaguely familiar women were? Each insisted that sexism had nothing to do with their selection process. “There was a complete lack of awareness that they were relying on gender,” Banaji says. “That was the moment for me when the light bulb went off.”

Perhaps, she thought, this unconscious reaction could help us understand the nuances of how the human mind categorizes the world.

In the next few years, Banaji and two other researchers at Yale, Tony Greenwald and Brian Nosek, banded together to develop a series of tests to measure what they began to call implicit social cognition, something that deeply impacts our social attitudes, behavior, and perceptions. The Implicit Attitude Tests, or IATs, were first published on Yale’s website in September 1988, and measure the strength of associations between different concepts (black faces, white faces) and evaluations (good, bad) by asking the user to categorize certain words and images, and measuring the response time for users to group certain stimuli together. The test went viral, especially after it was featured on Oprah. The researchers ended the month with 45,000 results to parse through.

Over time, Banaji and her team created variations of the original IAT, including tests that measure bias against disabilities, sexuality, certain ethnicities, weight, gender, skin tone, and much more. The true value of the test, however, lies in the two-decade aggregation of implicit bias data, which has proven to be a goldmine for psychologists studying this phenomenon. By tracing the arc of these scores over time, especially during the Black Lives Matter and LGBTQ+ movements, scientists are attempting to crack open the phenomenon—and find out how to fix it.

Seeing and participating in rallies can help shift implicit bias. (Unsplash/)

Mass movements can shift biases—slowly

In a 2018 study, Jeremy Sawyer, a professor of behavioral science at Kingsborough Community College, looked at implicit bias data collected from 2009 to 2016. He wanted to see how results had changed during Barack Obama’s presidency, and the rise of Black Lives Matter after the killing of Trayvon Martin in 2012.

Many had hoped that anti-Black racism would decrease with Obama’s inauguration. Previous studies had indicated that bias decreases momentarily after subjects are shown images of highly respected Black figures such as Obama, Nelson Mandela, and Martin Luther King Jr. But Sawyer found that at a society-wide level, the exact opposite occurred: From 2009 to 2013, anti-Black bias slightly increased among white and Black populations.

The trend only started to reverse when the Black Lives Matter movement arose in 2013, following the acquittal of George Zimmerman for the murder of Trayvon Martin. Sawyer and his co-authors took this as a sign that mass movements can shift deeply ingrained prejudice.

He took a closer look by pinpointing six pivotal moments in the movement: uprisings following the killings of Michael Brown, Eric Garner, and Freddie Gray, the shooting at a Black church in Charleston, the Democratic National Convention’s resolution on Black Lives Matter in 2015, and the shooting of anti-police-brutality protesters in 2015. After each of these events, the IAT data set showed, racial bias against the Black community decreased across all political lines—including conservatives.

“There’s hope in social movements like Black Lives Matter,” says Sawyer. “A mass social movement involves many people across the country and chips away at structural racism.”

While racial and sexual bias has seen a slight downtrend over the last decade, other biases have not followed suit. Anti-age and disability have stayed relatively stable, while anti-body weight bias has steadily gotten worse since 2008 (see the graph below). “The biases where we’ve seen mass movements, around BLM and LGBTQ marriage equality—those have gotten better,” says Sawyer. “We haven’t seen recent movements around disability rights or anti-ageism or body size related movements. We should be trying to build those and support those as a society.”

Implicit Attitude Test results over time. (Mahzarin Banaji/)

When asked about movements causing political backlash, especially when protests sometimes lead to violence and unrest, Sawyer says, “Despite certain political forces branding movements as violent or changing the narrative to be all about looting and so forth, massive rebellions and uprising seem to work. Not only do they decrease people’s biases, but they often win political results.” For example, the Civil Rights and Black Power movements absorbed harsh criticism from the opposing side, but pulled out victories in law-enforced school desegregation and the legal dismantling of Jim Crow laws in the South (although some of these institutions still exist in different forms today). “Movements do really change biases,” says Sawyer.

How to face down your own implicit bias

In The New Jim Crow, author Michelle Alexander emphasizes that this type of discrimination “reflect[s] automatic, unconscious thought processes, not careful deliberations.”

To successfully manage your own implicit bias, says Jennifer Eberhardt, a professor of psychology at Stanford University, you must slow down and think carefully. “There are certain conditions under which we become more vulnerable to it: when we’re thinking fast and moving fast,” Eberhardt told Time in 2019. “We can slow down and make a shift so we’re less likely to act on bias.”

Nextdoor.com, a virtual neighborhood hub that contains community posts on everything from babysitter requests to warnings about suspicious activity, has tried to implement this strategy to minimize prejudicial posts. In 2015, Nextdoor.com decided to work with Eberhardt and various other nonprofits to fight against the influx of racially influenced comments. When a user writes a review, perhaps describing a Black man as “suspicious,” they must answer a series of questions, such as “ask yourself—is what I saw actually suspicious, especially if I take race or ethnicity out of the equation?” before posting the review. When a user references a contractors’ race in a review, further questions dig for more distinctive characteristics instead. Nextdoor.com staff also incorporated a racial profiling flag beside each review. These initiatives caused a 75 percent reduction in racially influenced comments and reviews over the 110,000 local networks hosted by Nextdoor.com, according to founder Nirav Tolia.

The practice of slowing down and practicing deliberate thought processes may sound more like a suppression of your implicit bias than a way to make it go away, but ensuring that you’re not letting prejudice rule your actions is the first—and most effective—step.

There’s no instant, foolproof way to make implicit bias go away completely, but self awareness and education are key to making that mental shift happen. Research shows that implicit biases arise from the daily barrage of information that crowds our eyes and ears—so by harnessing control over this data flood, you can slowly but surely alter your mindset. Consistently surrounding yourself with diverse perspectives by reading the writings of Black people and watching movies starring non-white protagonists, as well as staying aware of how news media may enforce certain biases, can help you neutralize your subconscious racism.

Banaji’s next project involves a self-education series in the form of study modules, articles, podcasts, and graphics posted on a website called Outsmarting Human Minds. She hopes to transform this website into a full-fledged course for use at schools and companies.

Reflecting on unconscious bias is inherently difficult and disturbing for people who don’t consider themselves to be racist. But our subconscious minds won’t change without some very conscious effort. You can actively work to help others overcome their implicit bias, too: Sawyer’s research on the impact of the Black Lives Matter movement shows just how much progress can be made in amplifying Black voices and causes.

“These experiences will change people,” says Banaji. “A white kid who marches in protest and watches the power structure unfold in real time will not be the same.”