#as i am have literally no self control

[sarahreadstoomanycomics]

This is from an actual published essay about teen sidekicks and adolescence. I just cannot deal with the author constantly trying to talk about how unfairly Duke gets treated in favor of Damian, who according to them is the pinnacle of whiteness??? This is only one example too, they bring it up so many times. She even continually mentions how all the Robins are white but especially Damian and Dick??? You would hope someone might do their research on something like this beforehand but my head just hurts so bad right now.

#duke thomas #Damian Wayne #blaming damian for how duke gets sidelined after we are robin is shitty too #but literally calling damian the whitest robin like multiple times in this esssay im so done #why am i reading this at this point its a game of how much this lady can fuck up and i can't stop #please tell me to have some self control because im just getting very annoyed and confused at how she came to this conclusion

[coldshrugs]

The world should have protected you, but you have been asked to protect it. What an honor. What an injustice.

@harumeau made me cry with this stunning comparison of effie in her childhood and as an adult.

#ephyra metaxas #wayfarer mc #i'm forever changed #BABY EFFIEEEEE she's so precious SOMEONE PROTECT HER #and i'm OBSESSED with the color in this. everything is so rich #the way the outfits contract with the backgrounds and each side it the opposite of the other in color and in tone #all the reflective metals AND HER SWORD HOLY SHIT #perfection there tbh #also... both hairstyles are 😭😭😭😭 so good. i was nervous to ask for those poofs BUT??? YOU SMASHED IT #i could literally talk about this forever #like the detailing on all the hems? the patterns and embellishments? #hannah are you serious??????????????????????????? #bye. BYE! #yes i am posting this at 1am i have no self control

[digital999placebo]

once you accept you are mid, your quality of life will sky rocket so hard

#it’s ok to not be attractive #doesn’t mean you’re ugly you can just be meh #just mid just nothing #appearance says nothing about you apart from what you look like #undo this mentality that appearance has anything to do with morality or value or whatever #it has nothing to do with anything #like I never understand why we have to convince ourselves we’re attractive for like confidence and self love or whatever ? #like I just am who cares it’s like convincing myself my unregular bowel movements are sexy or whatever #I cannot control them god gave me a bad hand with digesting food I’ll just take it as is #‘sorry I’m hot’ ‘pretty girls do this’ blah blah blah whatever talk #literally ok and?

[grmpgm]

ok executive dysfunction is kind of ruining my life actually

#i have an incredibly time-consuming project i NEED to finish and i genuinely don’t know if i can #i’ve started which is good but i’m horrifically behind where i need to be and i’m just so overwhelmed #i technically have enough time to finish it i think? but it’s my final project so i literally cannot miss this deadline #my professor is really cool + likes me but it’s already been so long w/out me bringing it up #and wtf am i supposed to say? yeah. i WANTED to work on it. i just chose not to????? like wtf #it’s just so humiliating and i’m so behind i don’t know wtf i’m gonna do #it’s worse bc it’s an animation and it’s gg related and i really really wanted this to be good and i wanted things to be different this time #kind of funny bc i’m actually mid getting an adhd diagnosis rn but it’s just so fucking awful because i do this constantly #it fucking sucks so much i feel so helpless and i don’t know wtf is wrong with me. i’m so tired of letting everyone down constantly #it’s so bad rn i literally cannot do anything. it’s humiliating like WHY can’t i just be a functional normal person #it fucking SUCKS because i KNOW if i had any self control or work ethic whatsoever i could be really fucking successful but i don’t. #so i won’t be i guess. #and i KNOW it’s tied into a bunch of different stuff too but like gd i DO NOT care i just want to be functional #worst case scenario i have an A in the class so if i completely blow it i’ll at least pass? hopefully? #i might be able to talk my prof into an extended deadline but it’s so embarrassing bc i didn’t need one in the first place. #i have literally no excuses #it just makes me so upset because i just keep doing this over and over and i don’t know how to stop it or how to get better #and LOL sorry for posting this here i just feel weird talking to anyone personally about this (+ currently avoiding responding to messages!) #it’s just like. man if i can’t get a fucking grip i will literally waste my entire life. Oh Well! LOL

[trekkele]

For the last fucking time: Superman is the reason Batman didnt get to kill the Joker.

#if i have to see. one more post. about how SUPERMAN would have totally 100% avenged jason if he had been together with bruce or if bruce #hadnt been there somehow #if i see one more post suggesting BATMAN is the one who held back clark. who broke clarks hand while scolding him for his lack of #self control. or bruce telling clark it ‘isnt what jason would have wanted’ #i am going to lose my mind #‘well clark killed joker in injustice so he totally would do it for jason!!’ no he wouldn’t because. he. didnt. #injustice is fucked for lots of reasons but one of them is that clark has repeatedly proven he would not in fact do that and also when he #does do that literally everyone suffers but ok! sure! clark is #ok i was going to be sarcastic about clark being the best and a savior and a saint but like i do love my boy #but he simply would not fucking do that.

[buticanfixhernoreallyican]

i swear to god if one more person calls me crazy or insane i’m going to fucking lose it

#i have a personality disorder!! i am self aware too!!! #these 2 things can and will continue to coexist #yes i do irrational things no i do need to be reminded about it everyday #as said i literally have a disorder where i can barely control my own emotions have intense periods of mania/depression #sorry guys vent over

[ghostzzy]

i’m officially declaring it a depressive episode

#ive been fighting it for weeks and blaming it on circumstances. and like. yeah the circumstances aren’t Helping #but. my brain is awful rn. i feel fucking insane and my self-loathing is unstoppable #and i am struggling to cope with Literally Anything no matter how small #and i am fragile like an eggshell and i’m passively suicidal and i feel so out of control. #and whether i need a med change or just to ride it out and manage it as best i can idk #but i need to manage it. and recognize it. and stop acting like it’s my Fault somehow. #it’s not my fault. and it’s not a lack of willpower or a personal failing. it’s my Diagnosed Brain Disorders. #and i have to work to take care of myself through it but i can't just will it away or brute force myself out of it. #izzy.txt

[jaypgartifacts]

october is coming. which means, of course, that it is time for the horrors. tfw the dream self must confront the Nightmare Self

#body horror // #homestuck #YES i am invoking tarot symbolism and YES i have reasons for choosing the cards i did and YES i AM just making things up as i go. im normal #symbolism runthrough real quick. consider this an Artist's Statement of sorts. #The Tower: ambition built on a flawed premise. guy who always thinks he knows better than you in dire need of a wakeup call #strength: the journey of the self vis a vis finding the courage to act & tapping into latent potential that always existed #& simply needed to be accessed. note: dirk in this card is brain ghost dirk specifically. #(an illusion constructed by jake because he didn't believe in his own repressed abilities - drawn here as The Horrors.) #the devil: you are maybe not the CAUSE of all of your problems but DAMN you are making them worse for yourself. #this card is SO heavy on unhealthy coping mechanisms. symbolism here - very literally holding self down #sure it feels comforting in the moment but eventually you are going to drown. #the chariot: this one's not super clear visually but i do have a method to my madness #the chariot is the card of willpower; control; forward motion; resolution. #by the same token i think it is also a card about being really really stubborn - blinded by a goal. #holding onto the reins and refusing to let go even when holding them hurts you & others around you. #honestly i think some of the minor arcana fit better for a few of these cards but i wanted to stick w majors #for the sake of Icon Recognition i guess. #anyway [putting the alpha gang in the Narrative Wiggler to work through their problems] #they are going to the Dream Realm to meet their weirdest selves (and friends) in combat. unless...? #(it was never about fighting it was about healing. SYMBOLISM)

[jareicanon]

someone take google docs away from me i was supposed to finish a oneshot and instead went: you know what would be funny and also interesting to explore and emotionally investing and heartbreaking? a new au where xander and teruko both survive post chapter 5 and have to deal with the aftermath. wouldn’t that be interesting? wouldn’t that be fun? wouldn’t that be angsty and painful and sad and—

and then i wrote this.

#drdt #danganronpa despair time #rizalore #rizamuse #teruko tawaki #drdt fanfics #riza rambles #HAHAHHAA #have no self control #literally told kuro the other day that i needed to focus on one shots first #then spent all of today brainstorming and writing this instead #i am not a person of my word #i am a liar and a fraud #and someone who likes angst potential #LMAO #go read it teehee #if you want #no pressure obviously #but if you do #do share your thoughts 👀

[birdmenmanga]

LAUGHTER IN THE END OF THE WORLD IS SOOOO GOOD I CRIED BC IT WAS JUST A ONE SHOT IN MY HEART IT SHOULDVE BEEN LIKE . IT SHOULDVE HAD THE PLACE AND LOVE DEMON SLAYER HAS. IT TRULY FEELS LIKE IT HAD THE POTENTIAL FOR THAT. SORRY FOR THE CAPS LOCK

LMAOOOO LITERALLY... one shot in my heart as well... I KNOW it was 5 chapter I KNOW it was a whole ass volume but it just FELT like a oneshot you know?? like it was only the tiniest glimpse inside this huge huge world...

It's not even like it was a self-contained story that had no more story left in it either. There was a CLEAR thing that the narrative would have eventually built up to, which is that if their way of living is hunting down the demons they'd eventually collect all the mouths... and then what? it really begs the question y'know???? the demon's coming back?? what's going 2 happen to haru and luca?

I have never watched or read demon slayer so idk how the two measure up but yeah. where I live anyways demons slayer has so much hype. it genuinely sucks (to ME) that miss tanabe's works are always so underrated </3

#asks #anonymous #laughter in the end of the world #I guess they both have guys with a little sister who's cursed in some way? #I will say that just based on my impressions haru seems to have much more agency than that other girl. nezuko? #like just in fanarts it seems like she's either depicted as 'girl who is seen but not heard' #or 'going feral and losing control of herself entirely' #I have so many feelings about haru specifically. I think it she really began the age of completely unfuckable girls for miss tanabe #good for her #like it is SUCH a good subversion of the 'girl who looks young but is much older than she seems' #because like. genuinely. her character design is unsexy. it veers so hard into abstract symbolism there's nothing there to sexualize #and like I think it's such a good depiction of kids too #like you know she's acting but these 'old but younglooking girls' often act childish in a cute way you know!! #but haru's like childish in a 'I have not yet learned self-control and I am going to pull your hair out for saying mean things :(((' #which again. completely unfuckable. it's so great #but also the setup between the siblings is so crazy... they're literally built to be codependent #they actually can't live without the other and they will never be able to form longterm meaningful relationships with other people either #just the two of us we can make it if we try type beat #like haru will look like a kid forever. she will literally never be respected and will always need a chaperone in regular society #and then luca committed so hard to the bit that he also can't just... go back to being a normal person either #in my mind if it became a longer series I imagine it'd be a bit like mushi/shi... like standalone stories of a wanderer

[mewtwo24]

You know reading vol 5 of mdzs before all the rest (don't ask me why I'm a clown and there were Circumstances) has to be the craziest experience of my life. Because it took all of ten minutes of wwx talking to literally hit me so hard in the gut I had to sit down and listen to really loud music for a while to calm down.

Who needs therapy when mxtx is alive and writing, I guess????? 🤡

Can't wait to get to the actual tragic parts I just know I'm gonna be that "help" frog phone meme

#mdzs #i was really out here thinking svsss would be my fave bc of lbh #and then i finally get around to reading mdzs and it blows my expectations out of the fucking water holy actual shit #and i just had this feeling the first time i read parts of it like 'oh. this series is going to kill me. im not coming back from this.' #and here i am booboo the fool getting my clown ass make-up on #idk how to explain it like i just fucking LOVE mxtx's takes on arrogance #that wwx is constantly being perceived as a show off and an incorrigible flirt and a know it all #how wwx cant always help the ways he acts out the desperation that has embedded itself into his very bones #how wwx only ever wanted to do the right thing and that having been so much of his downfall #how his worth and talent would always be eclipsed by virtue of his circumstances #how he's above needing recognition at his core but at the same time longs for an ounce of good will and positive recognition -> #how human he is despite his brilliance. how he never gets it no matter how hard he tries to be worthy. #like to me wwx is emblematic of what it means to be poor/an immigrant in high places #always villified always alien always wrong always unwelcome #no matter how clever or capable or kind youll always be an eyesore because you don't 'act right'. not 'one of them.' you never will be. #i just...the way he just wanted it all to be over by the end. the way he didnt even want to come back to life. that he was sick of it all. #im rattling the bars of my cage i love him I LOVE HIM i love him #i understand you lan wangji (and i love lwj too) #and even lan wangji too like. the way so many of their issues in the beginning stems from that self-same problem #how lwj couldn't live with his out of control feelings how he too couldn't quite lay down his pride #how lwj was also trapped by the expectations of his clan in his own way how so much of their separation was a form of penance #that the calamity of wwx's loss forced him to reconsider everything he thought he knew about himself and his life #how he was left with nothing but regret. how when wwx returns--lwj refuses to leave anything to chance this time #he refuses to let wwx be alone anymore--refuses to let him hurt himself for the sake of others refuses to just let it all happen #even if it means overstepping a boundary or propriety it doesn't matter--as long as wwx stays with him. pride be damned #god i just can't i just can't do it im biting im ripping things apart GOD #will also say the jokes about lwj being like. 'strict moral compass or BUST.' and then wwx literally committing like 17 felonies in the bg #while lwj is like 'crimes? what crimes. nothing to see here.' NEVER stops being funny. like i was pissing myself laughing #i know its a known trope but by god are they hilarious about it #also. lan qiren how many times do your nephews have to go catatonic for you to stop with the catholic guilt and repression

[blujayonthewing]

still can't fucking believe I've had curly hair this whole time

#I mean obviously no I haven't but I COULD HAVE. this WHOLE TIME #the final piece of the puzzle was 'literally do not brush or comb it even a little bit' #like I have done more intentional 'curly girl' routines before #but most of the time I am literally just. not messing with it after a shower. #I'm raking a tiiiny bit of a general purpose body oil through it to control frizz and that is IT #shower days used to be my worst hair days because my hair would get so frizzy and shitty after being washed #and now they're my BEST CURL DAYS because I am not ACTIVELY FRIZZING and ENSHITTENING MY HAIR #I braid my hair to sleep so I mostly lose the big distinct ringlets the next day #but left to its own devices my hair just curls #how did it take me into my 30s to figure this out #when I have selfies and an entire self portrait of like 'wow being out in the rain made my hair SO curly??' #yeah babe! lean into that perhaps!! #about me

[kaeyaphile]

all thoughts, head full of ✨aventurine✨

+ a bunch of rambling/life updates in the tags, oops

#kayleigh.txt #y’all i seriously cannot stop thinking about this lil’ pixelated man 🫠 #i officially have everything to fully level and max him and his lightcone and his traces 👏🏻 #only e0s1 of course; i’m broke af 😅 #hopefully for his rerun i can get some eidolons but alas not this time unfortunately 💔 #he’s literally on the same level as kaeya in my heart; favorite hsr character for sure #(jing yuan has been demoted to my second favorite now because i am a silly goose) #i honestly never thought i’d be so adoring of hoyoverse characters but... here we are 🤷🏼‍♀️ #actual legitimate feelings for real people??? ❎ #actual legitimate feelings for fictional characters??? ✅ #aNYWAYS the brainrot is really bad y’all and i apologize that my entire personality has been taken over by this man 🤡 #i wish that i had an income right now so that i could commission some self–indulgent selfship art but alas 😩 #once my irl bestie’s wedding and honeymoon is over on may 10th i will be going back to looking for a job 👌🏻 #i’ve applied to probably 50+ jobs throughout the past few months and have heard absolutely nothing back 💀 #i have given up for now; i have to get my mental health and autoimmune diseases under control first tbqh #i have a psychiatrist appointment on the 16th which i am terrified regarding but hopefully it goes well 🥲🤞🏻 #and i am going to start a new injectable medication for my autoimmune diseases asap #i have to deep clean my house and revamp my reptile enclosures before i commit to a job as well ugh #i have to actually get my shit tf together before i start legitimately looking for a job again is what i’m saying 😂

[imabiscuitinthousandworlds]

THERE IS AN ESSAY TO BE WRITTEN ABOUT THE SIMILARITIES AND DIFFERENCES BETWEEN 1984 AND THE CIRCLE JUST TO GET IT OUT OF MY MIND AND THERE'S AN ESSAY OR AT LEAST ANALYSIS LURKING SOMEWHERE BETWEEN INTERNET CENSORSHIP LEADING TO WORDS LIKE "UNALIVE" AND NEWSPEAK BUT BRAIN NO ESSAY WRITING HARDLY EVEN EASY HOBBY WRITING WHICH I'VE BEEN PRACTICING FOR YEARS THAT REQUIRES NO STRUCTURE SPECIFICALLY I AM CHEWING ON THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE

#STUFF LIKE UNALIVE THATS LITERALLY JUST NEWSPEAK THATS NEWSPEAK THATS CENSORSHIP BE IT CORPORATE-INDUCED OR SELF-ADOPTED #ITS NEWSPEAK ITS NEWSPEAK ITS NEWSPEAK IT MAKES THINGS LIKE KILLING APPEAR MORE HARMLESS IT MAKES ACTUAL SERIOUS PROBLEMS APPEAR NOT AS BAD #ITS LITERALLY JUST NEWSPEAK BUT NOT ENACTED BY A GOVERNMENT BUT BY CORPORATE CONTROLLING MEDIA JUST LIKE IN THE CIRCLE #I HAVE SO MUCH TO WRITE GAHHHHHH #but also the circle has been praised as a mix of 1984 and brave new world and also the system being based on rewards rather than punishment #is something from brave new world also so i need to read that as well #nevermind that i speedread the circle and thus didnt catch any details and also that i havent even finished 1984 #now with all the *gestures vaguely * stuff going on in the world rn do you think the fear of totalitarianism will rise again #the circle's fear of corporate/social media control is very real rn but will the core of 1984 becaome just as relevant again #bc rn people arent as worried abt totalitarianism but it feels like its not gonna stay like that fo much longer (which i hate but ykno) #a biscuit's rambles #my friend and i had our presentation today AND WHILE WE STOOD THERE IN FRONT OF THE CLASS I NOTICED EVEN MORE STUFF GAHHHHHH #I AM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS I AM NOT NORMAL I CANNOT I NEED TO I #funny thing is we tried to somehow get it to 15 mins (supposed talking time At Least) #but we didnt really get to talk it through so uh. we overdid it. and um. we took 35 mins #lmao

[mazojo]

OhhH who to have the counter part of my evidence list so we can work together to pinning down the corrupt police force ohhHhh me and who??

#stop because why is that so romantic alsjskw normalize romanticizing the prosecution and defense attorneys #this is about ace attorney btw. if y’all haven’t noticed it’s the only thing I care about recently self care #I am recessing back in time I have no self control #I forgot how much I love Ema she is such a legend epic gamers #also that mia and Lana were gfriends damn #SEE??? PROSECUTION X DEFENSE MY MIND IS MASSIVE #ace attorney #imagine when I get to klapollo I will literally go mental #edgewright #miles edgeworth #phoenix wright

[tornadodyke]

the way i'm gritting my teeth about the fact that my professors still haven't graded the code i sent them for a project after one of them explicitly told me that it would be alright if i emailed them the code and they'd grade it that way. it's been 11 days

#I DON'T EVEN CARE IF THEY TAKE POINTS OFF OR SOMETHING I JUST NEED SOMETHING IN THERE THAT ISN'T A FUCKING ZERO #ARGH #in other news my penpal added me on discord and i literally think i accepted the friend request she sent me within 0.2 seconds of her #sending it. i am not joking i jumped on that shit INSTANTANEOUSLY #i also bought another succulent because i have no self-control. mine are all thriving btw