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cottoncandyjester · 3 years

Note

since Rin and Riot story was lacking some angst to go with it, i made this little fic to make them suffer a lil

tw: slight nsfw + mentions of alcohol + possible ooc + mentions of r@pe

The front door was shut with a loud bang, sloppy feet could be heard as if they were being dragged across the floor. The guy upstairs obviously heard and started skipping down to the living room, where he saw his lover trying to grab onto the wall. He who was trying to put on the best sober performance, raised his hand to try and wave but instead used it to block the sound of a loud burp. They both started laughing and the guy helped the other sit on the sofa and start to take out the excessive clothes he was wearing, the weather outside was much more colder than the one in.

“Oh~ “ the man snickered while taking off the other’s jumper “Are u trying to provoke me Riot?”

He circled his arms around Riot’s shoulders, pulling him close and laying with him.

Riot raised his head and looked at the man in the eye, as if trying to recognize who he was talking to.

“Ehehe” the laugh sounded kind of dead and the man could smell the aroma of alcohol reeking from the other’s throat “Are you Rin??”

“How drunk are you to not recognize your own lover?” He started peppering kisses onto the other’s face but soon stoped when he spoke.

“Well I got lotts a lovers, never know which one is it! eheh”.

The man slurred out his words, dragging the ‘s’ out forcibly with difficulty and not even thinking what was coming out of his mouth.

“Wait, wait” Rin started sitting up pushing Riot’s body off him. “This is a really bad joke, whad’ya mean other lovers?”

His voice sounded panicked, it has gone up a few octaves and the tone was kind of desperate.

“Let’s see, we’ve got; Sam from the club, Anna from the shop down the street,” He moved his head side to side while sticking out a finger each time he said a name “Nick from the candy-“

“Stop!”

A loud cry made the man stop counting and look up to encounter the face of someone who seemed a sentence away from bursting to tears.

Memories from a past time surrounded his mind as he tried to think of his next words.

All adults cheat.

He wanted an honest answer, he wanted to know what the other meant and deep down he hoped it was actually a sick joke he couldn’t get through and that soon enough they’ll go back to kissing and laughing how they were before.

“Are you cheating on me Riot?” it took all his strength not to cry and instead waited with his head hight up.

“Huh?” Riot’s face changed into one of confusion “cheating? we aren’t even dating.”

From all the responses that could have come out of his mouth, it was the one he least expected, he was still processing it when Riot continued.

“In the entire time we’ve been lovey dovey, none of us have said ‘will u be my boyfriend?’ to each other.” Rin was now even more confused than before.

“But, we literally moved in together, we sleep in the same bed-“ Rin’s tone now sounded angry, as if he couldn’t believe what was happening before him.

“I’ve also shared a bed with other people~ heheh” bad time to make sex jokes.

The image of someone else with Riot in the same bed clouded Rin head; hands caressing skin, combing through his hair, kissing his lips, admiring every kind of face Rin has already seen but never seems to get tired of. But worse,the thought of how Riot would be with them; does he also whisper sweet nothings into their ears like he does with him, does he grab their face and bury it with butterfly kisses like he has done to him hundred times or maybe they were also unaware of the other people he has been with.

Your partner will cheat.

No, no, no. Rin started breathing heavily and his vision blurred for a moment, maybe it was the tears, maybe it was everything spinning around him-

“hey hey, are you good there?”

his point of vision focused on a purple stain that covered most of his limited field of vision.

Although he couldn’t see anything the person on front of him could observe the other go into a spiral state of mind which he found difficult to escape from. He started calling out but it was as if he couldn’t hear anything.

Suddenly positions changed and it was him now laying on the sofa, only difference is that he couldn’t move.

“i’ll make you forget them” looking up he could see the face he so much loved, but this time it was as if it was filled with madness, a look on it that screamed obsession and desire. “I’ll show you how much better than any of them i am until im the only thing you can think of.

Rin free hand went down and started unbuttoning Riot’s pant, the latter brain too filled with alcohol and failing to comprehend what was happening until seconds too late.

“yo rin, wait” moving around as much as he could, as if trying to shake Rin off him “please, no ,wait, wait”

He now sounded desperate, he had experienced being held down by Rin and enjoying even the last second of it, all of him under his mercy without complaints. But this was nothing like how it was all those other times.

But Rin couldn’t even listen to what the other was saying, in his mind Riot has had to much freedom and has used it to the point where he crossed a line, an invisible line that the ones that have crossed it beforehand have suffered terrible ends.

But maybe this time it didn’t have to end up like any of those, if he could only liming his freedom, no. If he wanted a person all for himself, no freedom should be given until it is proven that they are responsible enough to use it. Riot had wasted his first and only chance, the fate that awaits him could be the same of worse that all of the other poor souls that made the same mistakes.

there goes the angst! have a nice day <3

WHY WOULD YOU HURT ME LIKE THIS I- 🥺

Arghhh and it’s so well written that I can’t even be upset about my broken heart! Now I have to write fluffy rin stuff to counter this!

Real talk that was really good, like Arghhh I adore people loving the characters so much that they wanna interact with them like this. Makes it so much more fun!

#yandere imagines #yandere ocs #yandere #Rin #so good #but so sad #damn you for writing so well

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imnotwolverine · 4 years

Text

The marriage pact - Thriller nights

Henry Cavill x OC Alice - multi-chapter

< Part 11 | Part 12 Thriller nights | Part 13 >

Disclaimer: strong language, some angst and reference to cheating

Author’s note: Do you like horror movies, darling fic-readers? I must admit I don’t, most specifically because I just have to vivid an imagination. Jaws? I didn’t dare to swim in a pool for 3 months straight..and it was the middle of summer. Yep, I know it’s silly. Are there any movies you definitely wouldn’t watch again?

Word count: 1.509

(Link to my Masterlist)

Dear readers,

Other then enjoying my chocolate cake, I was just cleaning up my DVD collection and what a wonderful collection of totally bloody horror movies I have apparently collected over the years. It is really, truly, quite horrible actually. Why would a sweet, innocent person like myself have such a twisted desire for watching the dark and obscure? Why did I watch IT more times than Pride & Prejudice?

It’s quite fascinating really, and most likely this horror fascination of mine has something to do with emotional control; we can experience certain feelings like anxiousness whilst still being in a safe environment. And you know me by now..I like being in control.

So what kind of movies do you like, dear readers? And what do you think that says about you? I’d love to hear from you.

Cleaning up her room and her thoughts,

Ali

‘So, thank you so much for coming Miss Taylor. Please take your time to work through the information I shared with you and we are looking forward to hearing from you again. You can contact me on the mail address on my card, or call me, and please..do not fret to ask me anything.’

‘Thank you doctor.’ I nodded, quite overcome with the overload of information and questions that had circulated through this small doctor’s office in St Helier’s Jersey General Hospital. I had simply requested an in-take, but hadn’t been quite ready for how deep and personal all this had been.

More than a few times throughout the intake had I felt tears well up in my stubborn eyes, the simple thought of how difficult this might be becoming, nearly too much to handle. The doctor had been most kind and informative; they could not do most of the procedures here, so I’d have to fly up and down to London every month. And there was this physical exam they had to do..and I had to start tracking my ovulation cycle, take specific medicine and vitamins. And..most importantly..I had to figure out what I wanted to do with this “fresh new relationship” of mine - which I had mentioned only very briefly.

I had waved it off, signalling I had little hope that it would work anyways, to which the doctor had given me an inquisitive eyebrow raise, but thankfully she hadn’t pried any further.

With slightly wobbly legs I stepped out of her office and thanked her again, my feet quite automatically walking back the path they had came; through the long hallway, past the waiting room and then to the elevator. But..I never quite made it to the elevator in one line, my eyes catching something quite unexpected in the waiting room.

‘Chris?’ I gasped quietly, seeing a familiar face amongst the waiting patients, a very young blonde woman right beside him, their hands entangled. I felt my heart, my soul, my everything, sink like a block of concrete to the bottom of the ocean.

She was expecting.

His large hazelnut eyes stared at me in slight shock, hands quickly disentangling from his new..lover. Lover. He had a pregnant lover. Was it his? OH FUCKING HELL. ‘Ali..hey..what a..surprise.’ He scrambled up to his feet and pulled a warm smile to his hesitant face. He felt most obviously very caught in the act.

How many months would she be? Obviously more than three or four months. Had he..had he been..cheating on me? I stared blankly at him, not quite sure of what to say.

‘Quite a surprise.’ I muttered, nodding while looking over his shoulder at the surprised looking woman. ‘It’s always good to see a friend.’ Chris smiled, pressing a large hand on my shoulder to steer me to a corner of the waiting room. ‘..Look..please don’t make a scene. Please.’ He whispered, his mouth remaining curled in a wide, friendly smile, acting as if nothing was amiss.

I couldn’t breathe. I just..couldn’t breathe, my eyes staring at him with disbelief.

HOW COULD HE?!

Wishing to not show him my tears - tears that long dared to spill during the doctor’s visit - I quickly shook my head and wished him a good day, my feet hasting off towards the elevator.

HOW COULD HE, HOW COULD HE?!

It seemed to take ages before the metal doors of the elevator finally slid closed, my eyes pricking with angry tears. And as the elevator started to descend, my organs feeling the mild drop of the cabin, my tears started to descend too. Heavy, wet and desperate. How could he..how could he…ARGHHH!!!

—

‘Hen.’ I muttered through the phone, my voice still weak and cracking.

‘Hey you.’ He said gently, easily picking up on my distress, his voice even lower and more soothing than usual.

‘Can I come over for a hug?’ My voice was but a mere whisper, but he heard it all the same. ‘Of course sweetie.’

Oh Henry, if only all things in life were this easy.

—

‘Hey.’ I stalled at the doorway of his parents’ study, the desk Henry was sitting at completely filled with large piles of what appeared to be scripts and administrational work. He looked up, his face immediately relaxing into one of tenderness. He sighed and turned in his chair, tapping both hands on his thick thighs, gesturing me to come sit on his lap.

No words were needed as I gladly crawled into the warmth of his embrace, my nose still sniffling after a near hour of non-stop crying in my bedroom. I needed him and I was glad he was here.

I could feel his hand just gently running through my hair, all the way back down to my lower back, his face studying mine. We just sat there for a few long minutes, quietly, some lone tears drifting down from my red eyes.

‘I’m just so sad.’ I muttered, another spill of tears bursting out, flooding my reddened cheeks. I gulped and heaved, not being able to stop myself from releasing all the sorrow and pain.

It was just something about Henry that made me lower my guards. A little more each time we were together.

‘It’s okay, Ali. Sshh..’ Henry’s voice swam warm and soothing through the shell of my ear, his breath brushing through my messy hair. Oh how I wished I could just disappear right here in his lap. How good and fitting an end it would be for me.

Alice, the girl who fell down the deep black hole of adulthood until she was no more.

And how awful I was for not telling him why I was crying so. I had to make sure I’d tell him, or it would simply become too difficult. But not now. First..tears.

More long minutes crawled by as the new onslaught of tears finally subsided, Henry still not saying a word, his large arms just keeping me close and safe, hands running deliberate circles over my back.

I sniffled one more time, wiping the tears on the sleeve of my shirt before finally sitting up a bit and looking Henry in the eye. Those big, blue oceans of care and comfort looking back at me with…love. Or something like that.

‘Thanks for that.’ I breathed, inhaling deep and sharp. Henry smiled and shrugged simply. ‘I’m glad to be of service milady.’

I sighed, looking over his desk, an iPad laying forlorn in the corner. ‘Yep, read your blog.’ He hummed, smiling into my ear. I raised an eyebrow at him, my eyes red and agitated from all the tears. ‘You don’t have to, you know.’ I whispered. He chuckled, shaking his head. ‘I wouldn’t miss them for the world. I love knowing what is going on with you.’

‘And horror movies..?’

‘Mm..you know me..can’t stand females screaming.’

‘Oh papa bear gets protective then, hmm?’ I teased, the first glimmer of a smile appearing back on my lips. Henry laughed. ‘Maybe a little.’

‘Oh…Henry…come save me!’ I swooned with a bit of theatricality, my hand moving to rest on my forehead, eyes gazing desperately into the distance. When he didn’t immediately respond, his eyebrows just rising in amusement, I further exaggerated my flailing body, letting myself near drop off his lap.

‘Wow..’ Henry quickly grabbed onto me, pulling me more firmly into his chest, ‘..okay..I’ve got you.’ He sniffled. We looked at each other for an amused second before we both burst out laughing, my face now happily snuggling into his neck and my nose sniffing up that undefinable smell that was Henry’s musk. I was the fair maiden in the prince’s arms, ready to take on any horror that was to be survived.

And darn..How I loved his smell.

‘Hmm…thanks for allowing me to be here Hen.’ I hummed, making him lean back a little his large thumb moving to stroke over my heated cheeks, removing the last of the remains of salty tears from my skin. Without words required he leaned into me, offering me a much more practised kiss then that very awkward..first..puppy..

‘Ooh..hair..’ He muttered, hovering back a little and reaching for his mouth to pull out a hair.

OH GODS…we both laughed aloud.

‘This is terrible.’ I blushed through our laughter. ‘No it’s not.’ Henry smiled, brushing all hair out of my face before pulling me back to his lips. ‘It’s perfect.’ He whispered onto my lips, trying again.

—

And yes, we watched a horror movie that night from my vast collection of classics, Henry’s arm near choking me whenever a woman screamed, his muscles tightening around my rib cage until I was sure there would be bruises. But ..I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

My heart and soul fluttered, and that is all I really wanted and needed, my reservations for a possible relationship with Henry slowly fading into the background.

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss @tumblnewby @magdelen69 @thereisa8ella @mary-ann84 @darkbooksarwin @summersong69

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#henry cavill fanfiction #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x author #henry cavill x OC #henry cavill fluff #fluff #romcom #horror #case of the ex #cheating #planned motherhood #cuddles #henry bear #the marriage pact #thriller nights

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soulsofanarchyyyi · 3 years

Note

💏 - from Angel to Cordy

fifty ways to kiss someone. send me a 💏 and i will randomise a number in order for my muse to kiss yours…

@immortalwoes

18 …as encouragement.

things has been weird lately, especially with the whole being a HIGHER being, coming back and having amnesia then memories being and then being haunted by a rokcy monster, ready to flinch the earth and kill everyone, VAMPIRE or not. the team was out there and angel was on his office, bringing up tactics of how to defeat the monster that seemed to know him. or at least, the half ass bad side of him with no soul that went grrrr and arghhh every time blood surfaced and changed his visage. the vision entered, a sigh falling from her lips. they didn’t have time to speak, to decide PRIOR of what things could have happened and become if things didn’t get in the way. so she decided to deal with it in a cordelia chase fashion.

advancing swiftly, she placed her hands against each side of his pale face and brought their lips in a kiss. a soft kiss, a gentle kiss. an ENCOURAGING kiss? it held for few seconds before she slowly drifted apart and looked into his eyes.

‘ you got it champ. as you have always, it doesn’t matter if you know karate or kung fu. it mattters that you have the heart of a warrior. the kindness of one, one of the many reasons why i have fallen for you.’

#meme answer #storisos #visiongirl #an alternate thing in season 4 #where cordy wasn't possesed by jasmine when she had her memories back #and eventully she goes forth to her romance with angel #you can continue this if you want to #:)#iconless since i am not on my laptop #immortalwoes

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chaotic-noceur · 4 years

Text

regarding pragma.

read it here

Dear @softpedropascal

wow this took so much longer than I thought it would whoops.

So, first off- HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope you have the bestest day ever cuz you deserve it!

I’m incapable of forming coherent thoughts so um...here’s a cumulative post of my running commentary because my binge reading plans got disrupted so this seemed... neater? Idk. anyways, here you go.

Part 1

No matter how many meetings and mediations you two went through, he still found a reason to keep dragging this out.

I read this as ‘meetings and meditations’ and was very confused for a sec 😂

That hat. You got him that hat. He still wore it?

omg u gave the hat a backstory. adkgadflhg 😍

He was tempted. God, was he tempted, but he shook his head and stood up straight.

This just. Yes. We love a respectful man.

I love all the little hints that you’re dropping about the reader and Frankie’s backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 2

He told himself long ago that be would never forgive her for what she did,

WHAT DID I DO OMG.

“Can’t you, I dunno, sign for him?” he asked.

😂😂Frankie. Sweetheart. Who do you take me for? I can’t forge someone’s signature. I don’t have the skills for that.

There was a reason he didn’t say goodbye. He was afraid to. He was afraid that if he said them again, he would have to go another five years without seeing her. Or has it been longer?

mY hEaRt

Pope and and Frankie’s ENTIRE interaction. 😍 I love that he can see right through Frankie’s bs, loves him anyways but will give it to him straight.

He was too busy thinking about how if he had gotten his shit together, he could be living here with her, taking walks to his favorite lake every day.

asdfgadfkglhdf!!! Boo it ain’t all your fault 😢 (or is it 😏)

It’s funny how the simplest touch can cause the most complex feelings—feelings that he had sworn he buried deep inside of him somewhere. It was a complicated thing trying to be angry at her because in that moment all was forgotten and forgiven.

the DEPTH. in these sentences. oml. I’m so ready to learn about this complicated backstory.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 3

“I can make him sign ‘em,” he offered.

YES. I love a low key threatening boi.

“Yeah, until you decided I wasn’t good enough,”

“Did you want to show me what I could have had with you if I wasn’t such a fuck up.” He sighed and put his hands on his hips.

AFGHSKF OMG MY HEART.

“I’m trailing water and mud all over the place but just remember that I saved your life before getting mad, okay?”

“Nothing. Just like saying your name.”

ahhhh these are precious!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 4

“Yeah. People do that right? Day dates?” He honestly wasn’t sure. Dates weren’t his forte.

🥺 someone help him. He’s so cute omg.

“We might’ve made out a little too,” he mumbled.

aksfhksdfg look at him turning into a flustered boy!!!

“No. I just��stopped looking up,”

Babes. Idk if the double meaning was intentional but like. Wow. That hit hard.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 5

and has a name like ‘Bill’ or ‘Tom’.”

oop. We love a subtle Redfly dig 😂

!!!! IDK WHAT TO BLOCKQUOTE BUT OMG FRANKIE BEING PROTECTIVE. THE READERS BACKSTORY. FRANKIE KISSING AT THE PAST BRUISES. ANGRY FRANKIE OMG. 😭

I’m sorry there’s probably some more amazing stuff after that but t’was not a good ace day so i skipped the smut

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 6

You hid your body from him at first and when he moved your hands, you covered your face. Then he told you to never hide from him—he would always think you were beautiful

🥺🥺 this is so soft omg

sorry skipped the smut but im sure it was beautiful

“I’m not going anywhere.” You moved his arms so you could kneel in front of him. “I’m staying.”

*incoherent screaming*

“You can ask me for anything. I would give up everything I for you.”

The whole ending scene was AMAZING okay but this. This line right here. Big hurt omg. He knows the weight of what he’s saying. He knows how hard the road to recovery is and how many things are gonna try push him off that path. But he says it anyways. And it really really shows just how much she means to him. Brava!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 7

lmao I really need to start reading the warnings 😂

She was never going to be sad longer than necessary if he had anything to do about it.

WHERE CAN I GET A FRANKIE OML 😭

“That no matter where we were, when we look up, we’re looking at the same moon.” He looked at her though she was still looking up. “That always kept me going, you know?”

THE SOFT. AHHHHHH

The moonlight seemed to shine directly on her and make her glow like some ethereal being. She was an angel. She had to be. The stars twinkled above them but he had his own right here right now.

eXcUsE mE. wHo gAvE yOu tHe rIgHt tO wRiTe sOmEtHIng tHiS bEAuTiFul

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 8

“Stop ruining my romantic moment, please.

HAHAHAH I LOVE!

I can’t even- Omg. This whole chapter. I have no words

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 9

“I can’t,” he said, voice broken. “Please just let me…let me hold you. Let me…”

IDK THE FULL CONTEXT TO THIS (really hating my ace-ness rn cuz this last line is so heartfelt) BUT OMG BROKEN FRANKIE I JUST. ARGHHH

you realized that you were embracing your entire world right then and there. Letting it go would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.

take my heart and crush it why don’t you omg. 😭😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 10

She was hurt again. And it was his fault again.

I can’t do it. I can’t be alone anymore.

asdfghjk GURL. WHO HURT YOU OMG. LEMME HURT THEM BACK.

His world spun and he felt like he was falling. He fell and fell into the abyss with no one there to save him as the bag felt like it was burning a hole in his hand. Is it hot? He felt hot. Burning up. Had he finally died and gone to hell? God knows that’s where he belonged.

No. It’s just an overwhelming darkness. Nothing. And that’s what he wanted, right? To feel nothing.

*VERY INCOHERENT SCREAMING* This is beautiful writing omg. The raw emotion in this. Holy hell.

oml. That transition from pure pain and angst into love just *chefs kiss*. Frankie deserves so much 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 11

“It wasn’t supposed to make you cry,”

wHat eLsE wAs iT sUpPoSeD tO dO omg.

This whole chapter was SO CUTE!!! The way that Frankie just knows things about her. UGH.

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 12

“What if it’s big and pulls me in?!”

MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY OMG

“I don’t wanna die,” he whispered.

His life felt as though it was falling apart all over again and he realized it was because she was the one that held him together and now that he was leaving, everything was one big mess again.

*inaudible screaming*

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 13

That ending tho! I love that you gave them their own little thing with the moon. Its so sweet 🥰and the Pope-Frankie friendship moments. *melts*

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Part 14

okay i was gonna blockquote but there was too much to quote This whole chapter felt so raw omg. If you’re pulling from real experience then I’m so sorry you ever had to go through that *pulls you into the biggest hug ever* (assuming you like hugs, if you don’t... i send you an affectionate ‘rubbing my forehead into your shoulder’)

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 15

“You could’ve walked in here with your head shaved and I’d still love it…but…please don’t.”

😂 yessss give me the humour in this sad

still haven’t learnt to read the warnings oml 🤦🏻‍♀️

ahhhh the soft reassuring Frankie content!!!!

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 16

“Probably because it’s Wednesday,” he said.

“It is?” you asked.

“Yeah. What day did you think it was?”

I FEEL SO ATTACKED OMG. What even is time anymore.

asfadsdfgdhk Its so SOFFTTT. Is this what it’s like to fall in love??😭

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Part 17

hallelujah i’ve finally learnt to read the warnings

ngaww Frankie being all excited and soft 🥺🥺 are they going camping?? are we gonna get Frankie in his element??

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Part 18

I’m as flat as a board back there.

I feel attacked and this wasn’t even directed at me oml 😂😂

tHeY aRe sO iN lOvE oMg 😍

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 19

I get it, it’s embarrassing, but I’m not judging you for it.

YES. In this house, we don’t judge people who are struggling to find jobs!

“I wouldn’t say them if you didn’t deserve them. You deserve good things, Frankie. You may not feel like you do but you do. Always.”

He sighed and rubbed your back. “If you say it then it must be true.”

*incoherent screaming* we all deserve good things okay 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 20

thank you for the warnings that i’ve finally learnt to read before reading the fic

What if I’m a lost cause? Just some pathetic druggie who can’t get his shit together…mooching off his girl.

NOOO You’re not just some pathetic druggie Frankie😭😭

“Sleepovers? Do I get to paint your nails? Do your hair?”

Our love has aged gracefully kinda like us.

THE SOFT OMG 🥺🥺

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Part 21

“With all due respect, sir, I’m not and have never been an addict. Yeah, I did drugs. Yes, I hurt your daughter and she had to leave, but you know what, we’re together now and nothing’s gonna change that. She’s forgiven me and she loves me and that’s all that matters.”

YAS. I love this change from nervous wreck to confidence!

This is so happy and soft and sweet oml. My angsty soul doesn’t know how to deal. 😭

⫷⫸ ⫷⫸ ⫷⫸

Part 22

Sweet baby jesus. It was soft. And then it was not. And then it was soft again and I just. *incoherent screaming* GURL.

❖❖❖❖❖

ludus

I’m gonna have a house right on the other side of the lake.

asdfgI I Have Feelings.

GURLLL. This was so innocent!! They’re both so young and cute and asgalsfjghsd.

❖❖❖❖❖

eros

“Are you running away from something?” she asked, and he bristled. “From me because you love me and don’t know how to say it?”

*incoherent screaming* well shit. you go gurl! you call him on his crap!

I skimmed the smut but like Frankie being a nervous wreck is 🥺

If you wanna see someone else while I’m gone, you can.

*more screaming because OMG if only he knew what that would lead to*

❖❖❖❖❖

ania

O damn. I kinda loved his slow descend into darkness... The fact that the reader still clings on to hope and love and just, damn. I’m lost for words.

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coda

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that’s all my brain feels right now. that was dark, but like. a good dark. It was heart wrenching but beautiful and- “I won’t be able to find you if I’m lost myself,” THIS. I just. *chefs kiss* but also, *ugly sobbing*.

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space-princess-genesis · 5 years

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Comfort (Kabal x Genesis (OC))

(Hello wonderful people! Yes! I wrote my first smut piece for Kabal and Genesis. Its filled with angst, smut, and fluff all in one piece! Since it very sinful, its under the cut. Also, I actually have no hard feelings toward Kano in any way, but I know most of y’all aren’t too keen with him so he’s a warning. Also, I’m sorry if it’s mediocre, I haven’t wrote anything in a long while, so pardon my rust. Big shoutout to @generalasshattery for some tips and tricks! Love you! Enjoy!)

Pairing: Kabal x Genesis (OC)

Words: 4,200

Warnings: 18+, slight mentions of rape, angst, fluff. Kano.

Kabal and Genesis had just gotten back to their apartment. The ride back was stone cold silent, so silent a hooksword could cut the tension. The two were frustrated - well, Kabal was more frustrated than her. Kabal thought it would be a good idea to take his Space Princess girlfriend as he likes to call her sometimes to the headquarters of the Black Dragon for a short visit. Kabal wanted Genesis to make some friends because she had started to feel a little lonely because of his crazy work schedule - with him being a mercenary and all. He couldn’t be there for her the majority of the week, minus the late evenings and weekends. Genesis had a small number of friends but they were either too far away, or too busy. Whenever she would make plans with a friend who was close by, they would always cancel plans last minute, leaving Genesis alone with nothing to do, waiting for Kabal to come home wondering why Genesis is still home? Shouldn’t she be with a friend of hers right now? Kabal didn’t understand why someone would cancel on her. C’mon, she’s a SPACE PRINCESS for pete’s sake! Who wouldn’t want to ravel in that friendship? He loved her dearly, and does his best to help her.

_“Are you sure you want me to come?” Genesis was worried because many of Kabal’s “friends” in the past had felt the need to try and put her hands on her (with Kabal gladly sticking a hooksword up the ass). “Hey, promise you’ll be right next to me at all times, unless I have small important shit to do… I’ll make sure no one, and I mean NO ONE, will lay their hands upon you.” Kabal insisted this. Genesis smiled at her loving boyfriend she floats up to him and pecked him on the lips.“Okay, I promise..” _

_The day had went by wonderfully. Genesis had already gotten a couple of numbers from some Black Dragon ladies (and a few Black Dragon men) which in return, made Kabal happy. He’s so ecstatic Genesis is going to get out and about and not be alone.“See! I told you should come! Look at you! You lil’ social butterfly.” Kabal says as he grabs her shoulders and smiles at her. “You were right. I feel good, I feel really good!” Kabal had started to feel a warmth in his heart. This is the first time in a short while that Genesis has talked with new people, let alone be it Kabal’s cohorts. Genesis is really giddy inside and is excited to hang out with some new friends. Kabal checks the time and realizes he has to do a quick meeting with some rookies about a small mission coming up. “Shit. I need to go to a meeting. Come on.” Hand in hand, the two walk over to the meeting room; luckily there’s a bench next to the door. “Hey babe, this will be a quick one. Wait here for me okay?” Kabal gestures to the bench and is halfway through the door. “Okay. I’ll be here.” Genesis goes to sit down and waves to Kabal, in which he waves back and closes the door. _

Half an hour had passed and Genesis is playing on her phone. Mostly scrolling through the Twitter beef page and scrolling what photo of Kabal and her should she should post, just minding her own business. However, that peace is short-lived, as the last person she expects is walking down the hallway, and towards her as well. He stands right in front of her, and that thick Australian mouth blabbers:“Ello’ love, long time no see?” Kano. Out of all the people in the world. KANO. “Oh hi Kano…it has been a long time has is?” she says uncomfortably. It really hasn’t been a long time. The last time Genesis has seen Kano was the previous month in which Kabal had taken Genesis to a party which Kano was at and had gotten his drunken ass in the pool. And nobody knew how. “Where’s ya knight in shining armor love?” Kano had always thought Genesis was a treasure to have and own; however, when he would see her, he would always want to approach her. Much to his dismay, Kano would always be met with a soul-staring, cock-blocking, Kabal, but here, in this very moment, Kabal was nowhere to be seen. He had gotten his chance.“In a meeting in that room…” She gestures over to the door where Kabal is having his meeting. Kano looks back a the door. Kabal wasn’t going to walk out anytime soon. “Well then, this will be our time to…chat up yea?” With Kano being this suggestive, Genesis had gotten totally uncomfortable. This is Kano, one of the most vile people in all of Earthrealm. She didn’t want to be around him at all, unless Kabal was with her. Unfortunately, Kabal was still in his meeting. So, Genesis had come up with an excuse so she could get out of this situation.“Uh yeah. Hey, so, I need to go so I’ll catch up with you later. ‘kay? Bye!” As Genesis got up as fast as she could, Kano grabs her wrist and pulls her into his embrace. Her worst fear had finally come to life. Kano had put his hands around her, and Kabal was nowhere to been seen. He reeked of alcohol, specifically beer, and it was bothering Genesis. Not knowing what to do in this moment, Genesis fears for her life, what was he going to do to her? She didn’t want to think the worst possible outcome, but she wished Kabal would be here right this instance. “But we were just getting started love! So, would you like a taste of Australia’s best saus -“ Kano is interrupted with a hand grabbing his ear. It was Kabal. What a relief. “Excuse me.” Kabal drags Kano by the ear into an empty room. Let’s say that there was a lot of punches heard, some metal breaking and a possible hooksword up the ass. Kabal walks out and grabs her hand. “We are going home, NOW.” The last glimpse Genesis got of Kano was his metal eye busted, bruises all over the body, and a bloodied ass. What would happen now?. All she could do was wait. Wait for a talk. A calm chat? Maybe not. A heated talk? Most defiantly…

Kabal’s back is toward Genesis. She couldn’t tell if he was angry at her, or himself. He puts his hands on his hips and sighs. Meanwhile, Genesis is stifling up tears, eventually turning into full-on tears. “How long was he near you?” Kabal says in a low tone. Genesis could tell he was pissed, VERY pissed. “A few minutes. ” Tears were in-between her words. “What did he say to you?” sounding slightly annoyed, he continues to ask questions. “He…was about to say something about his…sausage…” Just saying the word disgusted Genesis. Who in the world calls their dick a sausage? “Shit…how could he…How could I have been so fucking stupid to leave you alone! Especially with Kano running around! I knew he would get the chance to puts his arms around you when I wasn’t around! Arghhh… I’m just so…so…fuck…” Kabal had raised his tone. He sighs and puts a hand to his forehead. He was angry. Angry and frustrated. He promised her that no one would lay their hands on her. He realizes that he broke his promise and now, he’s pissed. Kabal turns around to see Genesis on the ground crying. He cools his temper as he sees her so distressed. Why was she crying? He wasn’t pissed off with her, his was pissed off of himself. She didn’t do anything that would make him angry at her. It was the thought of Kano around her. What if Kabal hadn’t walked into the situation in time? What if Kano had gone further? What if he had raped her? Kabal didn’t want to think about these issues, but he couldn’t push them away. These thoughts are then suddenly pushed away as he immediately fall to the ground and embraces her. “I’m so sorry Gen… I should have let you in the room with me…I didn’t know what I was thinking… I’m sorry…I’m fucking sorry.” He keeps apologizing hoping for her to accept it. She reaches her arms around Kabal’s waist and rests her hands on his back. He pets her purple gradient hair and rubs her back. The embrace goes on for a few minutes. He wanted to stay like this forever, with Genesis in his loving arms. But, he suddenly feels an urge within him. Something is crawling deep within his body - an animal, and an angry one. And it’s wanting to release. With his head in the crook of her neck, he starts to kiss her up her neck, to her cheek, and finally on her lips. The kiss starts out sweet but eventually turns deep, and then deeper. Kabal eventually breaks off and carries Genesis off into their bedroom.

Kabal lays Genesis down on the bed and climbs on top of her and starts to make-out again, but this time, more aggressively. His hands are running up and down her body. Touching and feeling every crevice of her supple body. Surprisingly, Genesis is enjoying this more rough and rowdy Kabal. Usually when the two have sex, it can go two different ways. One way could be cute, soft, and intimate, while the other way could be passionate and downright dirty. But this time, it’s different; Kabal has a wild animal inside of him - an angry, pissed off animal wanting to unleash. But, he just can’t release this animal out on Genesis, he can’t stand to see her clawed out by this animal. However, he really regrets leaving her alone; out in the open air for Kano to sniff her out. He has to make it up to her. He proceeds to quickly remove her shirt and her shorts, leaving her exposed and in a matching lingerie set that Kabal bought for her. He looks at her face, oh that face, makes him so wild. He runs his eyes up and down her body, and bites his lips. Just the look of her so vulnerable makes Kabal’s sex-filled imagination run wild. He dips his head into the valley of her breasts and starts to kiss her chest, with little pecks all around eventually turning rougher. He then reaches around her to unclasp her bra and remove it, which exposes her breasts to him. He massages them before diving in and encasing her left nipple in his mouth while massaging and kneading the neglected one. “Ngh… Kabal…ahh…” She moans softly as Kabal continues to work at her nipple, even biting it a couple of times. He then switches over to the other breast and continues to do what he did to the other one. Her continuous moans and whimpers stir his already throbbing cock. He starts to bite harder and Genesis begins feeling a discomfort at her nipple. “Ahh… Kabal, just… a little too much…ouch…” Genesis whispers out. Kabal began getting a little too rough on her. With the whole situation that happened earlier with Kano and his built up anger, he couldn’t fully control himself. “Sorry Gen, got a little carried away.…” He manages to blurt that out. She smiles at him though, because no matter what he always listens to her. Even all the other times they have had sex, Genesis would always let Kabal know if he was going too hard. If she told him that he was being too rough, he would start to get a better hold on himself. But right now with this notion to ravage on her, there will probably be no sense of control for Kabal. He leaves her chest area and makes his way up to her neck leaving short, sweet kisses and bites on the way. He begins kissing and biting on her soft, tender, midnight skin. All while also rubbing her other little sweet spot down under. He sucks on that little sweet spot under her ear. Genesis gasps out in pleasure as Kabal continues to suck the skin. “Ah!” She yelps out in pleasure. Kabal grins underneath her and continues sucking and kissing every square inch of her neck, going rough every few suckles and rubbing her clit at the same time. He stops to take a look at what he did to her neck. Gosh his cock is throbbing even more just looking at her. The animal in him it clawing even more. No, he can’t, he needs to control it. Kabal kisses down her body again, but goes down further. Landing a kiss on her stomach, Genesis lets out a short giggle. He needed something to hear that wasn’t so sinful. He takes his hands and spreads Genesis’s legs apart and caresses her inner thighs. The sound of her giggles calms down Kabal’s raging animal a little bit. Hopefully it will say down for just a bit longer. He then kisses her inner thighs leading down to her already soaking wet panty. However, he suddenly is halted by her foot. “You seem a little overdressed for this occasion right?” Genesis says sarcastically. Kabal rolls his eyes and proceeds to remove the upper part of his gear to reveal more of his muscled body which is already beaded with sweat. Which is unusual for him as he doesn’t sweat this much. This damn animal… As he’s about to dip down into her wetness, again, a foot halts him, but this time, at his chest. Genesis, feeling a little cheeky at the moment, glides her foot down slowly to Kabal’s clothed painfully throbbing cock and rubs it. Oh, this riles him up; he lets out a slow grunt and quickly proceeds to take his pants off. He quickly takes off the rest of his clothing, along with his underwear. Then he removes her underwear within lighting speed and throws it God-knows where in the room. His held-back animal is already starting to show. And Genesis has no clue that it’s there, wanting to eat her up.

Trying to compose himself again, he takes a deep breath and tries not to rush into eating out Genesis. Instead, he kisses her inner thigh slowly again, but steadily. This time there’s no giggles, just moans. Finally reaching her sensitive spot, Kabal begins to lick up and down her slick opening. With pleasure filling her up, Genesis grips tightly at the sheets. Moans, pants, and growls fill the room as Kabal eats out Genesis. Kabal then inserts his tongue into Genesis’s slick opening. With a sharp gasp, Genesis screams out in pleasure. “Oh gods! Aah..Kabal!”. With his princess moaning his name out so lovely, Kabal grips onto her hips tighter and goes deeper. The feel of Kabal’s tongue feels so good for Genesis. It’s actually one of his favorite things for him to do for her. He loves giving, especially to his princess. Her pants start to quicken as she feels a knot quickly forming in her stomach. Kabal senses this and stops. He kisses up her body quickly and lands on her lips again. God, he couldn’t get enough of those lips. He couldn’t get enough of her… gosh, he couldn’t think of other words to describe her. Perfect, maybe? He positions himself in front of her entrance and slowly sheaths himself in her. It took a lot of holding back not to ram into her. But the animal; oh the animal that’s inside him is still trying to claw its way out. He’s just furious with himself for leaving Genesis alone. Fucking Kano, of course he would. Of fucking course he would. From the point in which he walked out of his meeting and saw Kano’s arms on her, his rage meter had risen to maximum level. Even going savage on Kano’s ass didn’t even cool down his anger. He tries to suppress that recent memory in the back of his head as he starts moving in her. Genesis coos out in pleasure. Just seeing that face of pleasure on her makes further stimulates him. He continues to pump into her, the memories of what had happened earlier crawl faster and faster back into Kabal’s mind, and his thrusts start to become rougher and he goes faster as he loses himself in his thoughts. The sound of skin against skin becomes more prominent. Right now, he needed to release his anger. His thoughts consume him even more as he starts pounding into her. Kano hands around Genesis. Fuck. He wished he’d sliced him in half. Let alone stick it up his ass. If he had seen him do anything else to her. Oh boy. He would’ve gone beast mode on Kano. All the these thoughts fully consume him as he’s continuing to pump into her. He is soon consumed in all these thoughts and doesn’t realize how hard he’s thrusting into her. Now he’s completely lost in his thoughts. The animal that is inside him; the one he tried his hardest to suppress, has been released. Soon enough, he grabs onto her hips and pounds harder and faster. Kabal’s movements become so sloppy and rough, that his rhythm is thrown off-balance. With his mind is so focused on what happened earlier, he could not care less on how he was performing. The worst thing is, he doesn’t realize the sounds of pain coming from Genesis. “Kabal…stop…” Genesis weeps out. He doesn’t stop; he can’t stop. The thoughts of Kano on Genesis continues to enrage him. Situations start to unfurl in his mind. One in which he hadn’t walked out in time, and one where he walks into well… he REALLY didn’t want to think about that one. But the sounds of crying and whimpers seem deaf to him. “Kabal!…Stop!…Please! It hurts!” Genesis cries out. Kabal is snapped back into reality and looks to see Genesis in tears. He immediately stops and removes himself out of her. “Shit…” Kabal mutters under his breath. He’s horrified. He had just hurt his sweetheart in the worst way possible.

“Fuck…Gen…I’m sorry…I…I…fuck…” Kabal didn’t know the rights words to say. Sorry wasn’t going cut it. Before he could say anything else, a soft hand reaches up toward his face, and lands on his cheek. “Kabal…calm down…” She whispers softly and looks deep into those chocolate eyes that she loves so much. He looks back into her teary-eyed white pupils which always seemed to always sparkle for him. He nuzzles into the palm of her hand, and grabs it only to remove it from his face. He feels like he doesn’t deserve this empathy. Ashamed of himself, he moves to the edge of the bed. He leans forward with his forehead in the palms of his hands. “I couldn’t control myself Gen… It’s just…seeing you with fucking Kano arms wrapped around you…just fucking made me so…mad…this thing, this animal inside me just was fucking clawing me on the inside…I just lost myself… I’m fucking sorry Gen…” Kabal didn’t know what else to say. Again, he could only apologize. He screwed up big time. The next thing surprises Kabal, with all her strength that she has left, she hugs him from behind. “It’s okay…” She give Kabal a small peck on his cheek, but that doesn’t seem forgiving for him. “No, it’s not… I hurt you Gen…I can’t forgive myself for that…” Genesis could tell he’s in total distress. He rarely showed vulnerability like this, even in front of her.“I can forgive you… I will always forgive you. No matter what… I love you Kabal.” Kabal turns his head over to look at Genesis. He puts his hand on her cheek and kisses her. The kiss is intimate. More intimate than what had happened a few moments ago. Suddenly, Kabal lifts Genesis bridal style and walks over to the bathroom.

He sets her down on the toilet and starts to run a bath for her. He goes over to their small bath bomb basket and picks out her favorite one from Lush: Goddess. The bathtub becomes full and the submerged bath bomb is fizzing. He lifts Genesis from the toilet and sets her down into the warm water. “You sure you don’t wanna come in?” She asks because Kabal is just sitting on the stool next to the bathtub. The stool made for when Kabal didn’t feel like joining Genesis in the bathtub, but still wants to have their usual chats. Kabal takes a moment to think about joining in, because he originally made the bath for her, but with what happened moments ago, he feels the need to join her. Plus, he can’t deny his princess. “Move a little forward ‘kay?” Genesis nudges a little forward so that Kabal can be behind her and hold her from behind. Kabal steps afoot into the lavender colored water, and sits behind Genesis, with her in between his legs. He snakes his arms around her so that she could lay atop of his chest. He holds her like a porcelain doll. Delicately, as she was about to break.

Silence. With the exception of the water droplets leaking from the bath faucet everything is silent. Kabal in the meantime nuzzles his head into the crook of Genesis’s neck. She felt the warm breath from his nose against her skin. “Genesis…” It was the first time in the night he had used her full name. “Hm?” Probably another apology, but she still listened. “I love you…” He kissed the top of her forehead. “I love you too.” Suddenly, stars appeared on her body - with the occasional shooting star on her. This meant Genesis was in total love. “Hehe, their back…” Kabal said with a slight chuckle. The stars would appear either when the two had finished sex or if Genesis was deep in love. Kabal loved whenever the stars would appear because they could move to his touch. He would always make-up constellations and little shapes, but his favorite thing to do was move them to Genesis’s chest area and make a heart that would sit above her own. Which is what he did in this instance. It was a little awkward because he wasn’t facing her, but he tried his best. When he’s done, Genesis looks down and sees something that resembled a heart. She giggles and says, “Wow! Well done Picasso!”. Kabal almost takes offense to this because he worked hard on that heart. He quickly puts his lips to her neck and makes a fart sound against it. Genesis then lets out this big ole’ giggle which puts a smile on Kabal’s face. “You butt! Oh my gosh!” She continues to laugh and decides to turn around and lay on Kabal chest to chest and do the same thing to him as well, but on his chest. “WHAT THE FUCK THAT FEELS WERID”. Genesis giggles even more as Kabal is shook. They both calm done quickly and look in each eyes again and smile. Genesis lays down on his chest with an ear to his chest so she could hear his heartbeat. It’s beating, steadily - and she smiles. Oh how she loved to hear his heartbeat. Kabal lays his hand on her head and pets her hair. The two remain like this for at least twenty more minutes before Kabal’s fingers started to prune up.

After their bath, Kabal suggested to order in some food, with Genesis choosing of course. But Genesis wanted to try something different, so she asked Kabal to surprise her. He ordered some light Italian food from this new place that just opened a bit ago. She’s never had Italian food so se was excited. The two eat, and watch a movie afterwords. It’s another princess movie, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves - what a classic. Genesis really enjoyed it, maybe just a little too much. Now she’s going to be humming “Someday My Prince Will Come” for a week and Kabal will regret ever showing it to her. The two then stumble off to bed, while Kabal carrying her of course. She lays her in bed and turns off the light. The light from the moon is shining through the blinds, leaving a light glow on whatever surface it touches. Genesis quickly falls asleep, but Kabal is still up. He looked down at her. He moved some strands from her face to get a good look at her. Gosh, she’s beautiful. He smiles as he watches her peacefully sleep. He kisses the top of her forehead before going to sleep himself. The last thought before he goes to sleep is how the boss man is probably going to give him a work suspension or something. Like that mattered, more time to spend with Genesis right?

#kabal x genesis #first fic #smut #angst #fluff #Mortal Kombat #mortal kombat oc #oc #kabal #princess genesis

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years

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THANK YOU

I’m just crying no big deal thank you for being so kind i’m gonna go curl up a d*e now :’)

HONEYYYYY 💕💕💕💕 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH THANK YOU!!! For Science was beautiful and I loved every bit of it. Bot matter the wait, its completely worth it because you put so much thought into it. The ending was so nice and im so happy for oc and kookie. Please keep up with your amazing writing love ❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

i just read fs7 for a second time (bc yes i had to read it twice to fully take it in) and oh my god it’s so amazing 😭😭 you really outdid yourself w this series. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve read through it all and i love it even more every time i do. you’re such a talented writer honestly thank you so much for gifting us this fic ❤️

The ending to FS was so authentic!! Awkward and mushy and funny and hot! You really did their relationship justice. Thank you for putting in so much work I'm so happy the series ended this way. You're amazing!

FS7 was a fuckin ride and it was everything I could’ve wanted and more 😫💘 it was amazing like I honestly can’t put into words how satisfying it was but I was smiling sm while reading 🤧 you’re so talented thank you for writing this masterpiece!! FS FINALEEEE IM CRYINGGGGG UWUUUUUUUUU

haaaaaaiiiii just wanna say those 27k words of amazingness was SO worth the wait! thank you so much for the FS series, you did great and can't wait to read more stories from you <33

The last part of for science ahhhhh I screamed! I loved and missed the whole friend group and you put so many funny one liners your dialogue is so natural and entertaining

FS! Oh man where do I start... it was so so so sososososooooo good!!! THE WHOLE SERIES IS JUST SOOOO GOOD. THEY WAY U WRITE IS SO FREAKING WONDERFUL. The scenarios aren’t cheesy or too overtop, the feelings and everything are just sooo realllll. YOUR CHARACTERS ARE JUST SO WELL CONSTRUCTED ARGHHH. Freaking Jungkook and his Captain America crush, same JK I love Chris Pratt and his ass too. So sad that FS has come to and end but it was the perfect finale. I LOVE YOU ❤️ The way i cried, laughed, and just the overjoy from FS 7 i swear to god i hate ending something so wonderful i get a lil disappointed going back to my regular life and not living thru this amazing art thank you for this series i loved it!! I just reread your entire FS series again and the ending was so sweet 😭😭 thank you so much for sharing ur writing!! I also really liked how everyone’s friendship developed in FS7

I just finished FS and I loved it! Awesome job ✌🏼 I love your writing style. It’s not try hard but it’s also not boring lol idk how to explain it but it’s captivating. I’m excited for your future works if you plan on continuing to write 💜 Also, good luck on finals! wahhhhhhhhhh that ending was PERFECTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!! i am so so happy but also so so sad to say goodbye to these characters. i'm gonna miss fs!jungkook so much!!!!!! :(( thank you for sharing this wonderful story with us!!

OH NO WHEN DID YOU POST THAT FINALE :((((( I LITERALLY LOVE IT!!!! THE WHOLE GROUP IS BACK AND JUNGKOOK STOPPED BEING A COWARD CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?????? I AM SO HAPPY 🥺 When I started reading this, it only had 3 released parts, and now it’s done :(((( i’ll miss you clowning FS jk!!

i've waited a full day to really formulate my thots on the finale of fs... and damn bitch u KILLED me I LOVED ALL OF IT THANK U FOR WRITING ALL THAT BC REALLY? WHAT A FUCKING TRIP THIS HAS BEEN love u forever and ever and ever and am so blessed that u share ur work with lil ol me!! love u to the moon and back <3 u deserve all the good things life has to offer you ! -- crack cocaine anon

I wish I could give you better feedback dissecting every. little. bit. of For Science and how I thoroughly enjoyed the entire series but it's coming out as word vomit lol. I absolutely cackled at the sex Pavlov'd and watermelon slapping. Yoori was fantastic as always ("one day I'm going to get a fresh manicure just so my hands look good when I finally smack the shit out of him." Beautiful) and I just love the group dynamics as a whole. They remind me of my friends :( And the main couple,their whole sometimes-awkward-and-painful process of working things out and then slowly, naturally falling (back?) into love hit me in all the best ways. Overall 10/10, will definitely read this again and anything else you write <3

wow you really snapped with that ending for FS huh i’m- wow seriously one of the best writers ever I feel happy and sad now that FS has ended. Happy because I feel like it was the perfect ending to an amazing series and sad because we have to say goodbye to all these amazing /funny/cray cray characters. You are an amazing writer and I hope we get the chance to read more of your stuff in the future!

I am actually devastated high crying that FS is over. I invested so much EMOTION. Bless your soul. FS finale is amazing. you wrote beautifully and progressed the plot at an anticipating rate. i loved it!!! wondering, did you go off of any certain real life jk looks for his platinum hair, piercings and no glasses? and the ripped jeans...... if u did please post them i wanna see!!!! (ANON, unfortunately I couldn’t find a pic with all of those in one, but there’s this edit and this outfit)

Just needed to let u kno that FS is a masterpiece and i loved it so so so much~ its def my fave fic i've ever read and i love your characterization! Im sad its over but ahhhhh it was so good and i wanna say thanks for writing it - 💖🐰

For science was amazing, I want to congratulate you for writing such a beautiful story for us!!!! Really!!! thank you!!!! for the time and effort bc your fic is genuinely one of the best I've ever read!!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ jesus, i cannot express to you how much I love FS, it was everything i want in a story like it took ages to read but yet it felt like minutes and when i was done i was heartbroken that i’ll never see the characters again, i can really relate a lot of the characters to some of my own friends and i love that despite finding it strange, when i was reading it i found myself laughing out loud at the jokes and cringing at overly handsy jk, your writing is top tier and i’m going to miss FS so much

my heart is swelling while reading the last chapter of fs. It’s been a wild ride and I’m so happy to b part of it!!!!!! Thank u for writing such an amazing story

#CC anon #bunny anon #talk

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mvssmallow · 7 years

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Cloudy With A Chance

Part 20: …of Ex and Why

Masterlist

He’s back at work and back with a sense of dejà vu.

“So. It’s just…over?” Donghyuk asks gently.

He nods and looks out the window instead of making eye contact.

Donghyuk furrows his brows and chews on the take-away coffee cup in confusion. “Oh. I thought things were going well…..wait wait, that’s not important right now. How are you holding up? Do you want to talk about it or do you want to get back to work?”

He just shrugs and twirls his pen around his fingers. “I don’t know what I want. My head is like…I don’t even know. Like a bomb went off.”

“You don’t have to tell me but why did you guys break up?”

He sighs heavily. “My parents found out. I kind of went crazy.”

Donghyuk takes a sips and nods all knowingly, as usual. “Hmmm.”

“Was it the wrong decision?” He asks.

“Well. What do you think?”

“Of course it was the wrong decision.” He says quietly, almost to himself. “It was a stupid decision.”

“So why did you do it? If you knew it was wrong?”

The frustration and anger floods him all over again. “I don’t know Donghyuk! I don’t know! It was like, everyone wanted me to be something. My parents wanted a normal son. Jiwon wanted a normal boyfriend. They just all wanted something from me, constantly. I was just so pissed off at everyone. I just wanted everything to go away and leave me alone for a day.”

He starts drawing circles in his notebook and colouring them all in black. “I don’t deserve him anyway. He’s dealt with enough of my shit. All I did was hold him back from the life he should be living. He’s a rapper. What am I? Some boring writer just dragging him down with all this. I don’t know. It’s probably for the best. He’s probably sitting there wondering why he even bothered with me in the first place.”

Donghyuk stops nodding in agreeance. “Is that what he said?”

“No, he never said it but I know he must think it sometimes. Like when he can hear me lying to my mum on the phone. Or when people want to come over and I say no. He’s social. He likes people. I’m the opposite, all I want to do is stay home. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes. It’s better that we broke up before any real damage was done, you know?”

Donghyuk just sips his coffee in silence.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Only if you want me to…..”

He rolls his eyes. “Why would I tell you if I didn’t want your opinion? Do I look like I can figure anything out by myself right now?”

Donghyuk frowns before putting his cup on the table between them. “I’m not sure what to say but do you want to hear a story?”

He nods, relieved for a distraction at least.

“So, there used to be a writer here called Alex. He was from London and worked with us in the year before you started. We were inseparable after a month. It was just the biggest type of foolish love you could imagine. The type where you matched on every level there was to match on. He could already speak Korean but I insisted on learning English anyways and he’s probably the reason I can still speak it so well now. We used to co-write articles, all crazy concepts and unique ideas that really got Daily Grind more popular in the initial stages of the magazine. They’re part of the reason I got promoted so fast. Anyway, four months down the road, the overanalytical-paranoia kicks in, and I ask about the ex-relationships. I didn’t want to know but I had to know, had to figure where I stood in comparison. It turns out that his last few relationships were with all these mensa level professors and published authors. You know, of actual books and literature.”

“Sometimes it’s a mistake to dig into the past.” Donghyuk says with a shake of his head. “All it did was make me more afraid. After he told me I just felt small, like I was lacking physically, intellectually and in experience, like I didn’t fit his trend and was just some experiment. And here’s the messed up thing: I let everyone convince me it was true. That he was just going to eventually go back to being with what he’s always been with. Of course he was nice to me, he was in South Korea, what other choice did he have? So I friendzoned him instead of waiting around to get hurt. It didn’t make a difference, I got hurt anyway. What I completely did not understand was that he didn’t even think like that. He wasn’t looking for those guys any more. He was looking for regular me. By the time I figured this all out, it was too late. He had moved on and all I had to show for it was regret and some of the best pieces I will probably ever write.”

“He was The Guy. I knew that from the beginning. In some ways, I’m always going to be looking for someone like him.“

There’s a long pause after Donghyuk finishes. “That’s the problem with people like us. We always end up with too many regrets. Life is easy if you let your brain decide everything, it’ll always reason and pick self-preservation. But reasoning doesn’t work when it comes to these things and the heart doesn’t know any logic or rational thought. It doesn’t care about self-preservation. That’s why they say, crazy in love.”

He thinks about Donghyuk’s words long after work finishes. He thinks about it as he eats alone, watches TV alone and sleeps alone. There’s no messy apartment to tidy up, no wrinkled shirts to iron, no mismatched socks to fold. He thought he wanted to be alone. He’s used to feeling alone. Alone protects him. But now? He can’t stand it anymore.

*****

“So, your apartment is still available if you want to move back.” Yo says over dinner. “I made a few enquiries today.”

He nods. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll, um, give them a call tomorrow.”

Yo reaches over to pat his back. “There’s no rush, you know that right? We’re happy to have you here until you sort things out a bit. It’s okay.”

“It’ll be like college all over again.” June says with a chuckle. “Only I’m less poor, Yo can cook more than instant ramen and grilled cheese toasties and you’re slightly cleaner. Slightly.”

They all laugh. It feels good to laugh, even if it’s just for a little while.

But after the distractions of work and playing video games with June or helping Yo tidy the kitchen, he’s alone again. Alone in the spare bedroom with all his belongings in a bag on the floor and staring at someone else’s ceiling. Even the traffic outside the window sounds different. Everything is different. And even though he’s known Yo and June for almost his entire life, this isn’t his home. He already has one.

Part of him still can’t believe it. Part of him is just waiting for Hanbin to answer his phone calls tomorrow. He doesn’t want to think about the other part. He can’t let himself think about it. It’s been so long since he let himself go to all those dark places and who knows how long it’d take him to get out of one again.

So, no.

He won’t believe it’s over.

He won’t until Hanbin gets married to someone else.

Then it’d be over.

But he doesn’t want to think about that either.

Turning over, he punches the pillow in frustration. “Arghhh!”

This is the cruelest part of a break-up; the thoughts. Loops and movies and highlight reels of moments, smiles, words, feelings. They play over and over again in his head and after awhile it’s nothing but torture. He wants to remember them, hold onto them, file them somewhere nobody can reach but at the same time, he wants them just to fade away and let him sleep.

But sleep doesn’t come easy anymore. Not when there’s no warm weight next to him and no-one clawing at his arm in the middle of the night.

He tries to think about the upcoming mic night instead but scrolling through all the half-finished verses on his phone just gets him more depressed. He’s written better, been better, and rapping about cars and money just seems trivial right now. It’s 2:30 when his eyes finally close out of exhaustion and in the darkness there are only images of Hanbin’s sad face staring at him as he leaves the apartment.

Sleep isn’t really sleep anymore.

He goes back to eating breakfast alone. There aren’t notes or sneaky Oreos snuck into his lunchbox. There aren’t any random messages on his phone to read and laugh at. No jokes over dinner or in bed. His entire being misses Hanbin but the worst thing, by far, is going to sleep alone and knowing that he’s just going to wake up alone in 6 hours.

His mind hangs on for a few days, it even makes it to a whole week, but everything falls apart by the second. That’s when he starts to believe that life without Hanbin might be permanent. So what if he feels sorry for himself? So what?

“Jesus, slow down Jiwon!” June says in exasperation and reaches over to take the shotglass from his fingers.

“Hey! I need that!” He tries to grab it back but the contents are already gone.

“I think you’ve had enough. How are you gonna perform like this?”

He shrugs. “I’ve been worse.”

June looks at him with skeptical concern. “You sure you wanna go on? You can just back out, say you’re sick or something. It’s just a mic night. Probably no record company scouts here.”

He shakes his head. “No, I want to do it.”

By the time the music kicks in he’s regretting it and wishes he had just listened to June after all. It’s not bad but it’s a mess, as if his heart was just bleeding erratically all over the stage. If he was any more sober he’d feel embarrassed but with 4 shots and a beer in his stomach, he can’t say there’s anything beyond the numbness.

forget a promenade, let’s juggernaut down memory lane, leave no thought alive, to the slaughter house i’m taking my pain time to sever my brain from my heart and soul my knees are burning hot, but God is cold, I’ve been told

One day you’ll know too much of heaven’s a sin after the show, it’s only hell that it brings so take it slow and let time heal everything they say that time flies, but you keep breaking its wings you’ll never fade, fade to black please fade, fade to black but the nightmares come back

-t.t

When it’s over he ignores everyone’s concerned looks and walks straight back to the bar.

“Shit, Kim. What’s up with the depressing lyrics?”

He looks up to see one of the rap competitors grinning at him. He can’t even remember the guy’s name and takes the time to swallow his gin before answering. “Just felt like it.”

“What have you even got to be depressed about anyway? You’ve been killing it lately, even Mino’s getting scared. Hey, where’s that guy you’re with?”

He clenches his jaw. “Not here.”

“Why? He dump your ugly ass?” The guy jokes.

He doesn’t answer. Just shakes his head and keeps drinking.

The guy doesn’t stop talking and it grates on his already frayed nerves. “His fucking face, man. Half the guys backstage want to fuck his face, the other half want to fuck-”

He remembers reaching the bottom of his glass of gin before his right fist connects with a slackened jaw. There’s a sickening crunch and collapse of bone as the guy stumbles back in shock.

They just stare at each other for a second before launching forward, fists swinging and connecting with anything within reach. A punch to the gut, knuckles across his left eyebrow, nails scratching a trail down his face and finally, a knee into his chest that has him falling head first into the corner of a table and splitting his lip.

He ignores the nose bleed, the taste of blood in his mouth, the bursts of pain every time his fist hits the face beneath him. He had it coming. They both had it coming.

“JIWON! What the fuck-”

June’s loud voice rings in his ears before four strong arms eventually pull him away from the fight. His left eye is swollen and his vision blurry but he can see security dragging the other guy in the opposite direction.

“No wonder he dumped your ass. You’re nothing but a fucking loser!” The guy shouts at him through a mouth full of bloody teeth.

He makes to stand up again but June’s hard face comes into view. “NO. ENOUGH.”

Yoyo stands in the middle, placating security and the club’s management with the kind of diplomacy and level-headed intelligence that both he and June lack. His shirt is roughly peeled off and used in some vain attempt to slow down the bleeding.

“What the fuck is wrong with you? Is this is how you’re gonna act now?” June asks. It comes out more sad than scolding and that just makes him feel worse somehow.

Yo eventually comes over with a stern face and hurried words. “We need to get out of here right now. You’re lucky they like you so much.”

He lets them lead him through the club, right past the half-cheering half-judging crowd, and buckle him into the backseat of June’s black Audi.

His right hand is twisted, swollen, deformed. He looks at it with fascination, knowing somewhere in the back of his mind that it would be screaming out in pain if not for the industrial levels of alcohol in his system.

“I can’t believe this!” Yo exclaims from the driver’s seat. “I can’t believe this is how tonight ended. He’s lucky that that other guy is stupid and won’t remember enough to press charges.”

June shakes his head. “That other guy is a dick. I know him. He was probably starting some shit as usual. He’s done it before. It must’ve been something really bad for Jiwon to do that.”

“Don’t defend him June!” Yo replies in irritation. “That other guy might be a dick but what about our guy? He dislocated a jaw. That’s hardly something to be proud of!”

“I’m not defending him! You’re talking like he just randomly decided to punch a dude in the face. He’s not like that.”

The car lurches forward abruptly as Yoyo breaks hard at the red light. “I know he isn’t! Don’t you talk like I don’t know him too! I’ve known him almost as long as you have.”

He sighs in the backseat. He always thought he was a good person. He was a good person wasn’t he? So why was he ruining everything around him?

“Let’s just get him to the hospital. We’ll talk about the rest at home.”

Hospital.

What.

“I don’t need to go to a hospital-” He starts.

“Yes, you do.” Yoyo says, warning and finality loud and clear in his voice. “And if either of you have a problem with it, so help me God, I will end you both right now.”

****

He gets a Emergency Department resident stitching him up. It hurts more that the actual fight.

“Rough night huh?”

“Something like that.”

“Get into a fight?”

“Yep.”

“Wasn’t over a girl was it?” The resident teases him with a crooked smile. “Please tell me it was a better story than that.”

He chuckles and lets himself relax a bit. “No. It wasn’t over a girl. It was over a guy.”

“Oh yeah? What’s his name?”

“Hanbin. You know how everyone thinks their boyfriend is the best guy on the planet? Well, he is actually is the best guy on the planet. Too good for me anyway.”

“So, what did he think of all this?”

He can feel the pull of the sutures against his left eyebrow. It was weird and foreign and everything just felt so strange right now. “He wasn’t even there. We broke up. I got into a fight and he wasn’t even there to see it.”

“Well, this might leave a scar. Show him that.” The resident says, sitting back after he’s tied the last suture and applied a bandage over the top. “Guys loves scars don’t they?”

He laughs again, he likes this guy. “I’ll be even uglier than when he left me.”

The resident stands and starts clearing away the examination table. “If he’s the right guy, he’ll come back and not even notice the new level of ugly. Now. Let’s see this hand of yours.”

It’s a mess. Bruised, swollen and-

“Broken.”

“Broken?” He echoes in disbelief.

The resident nods and points out the fracture on his xrays. “Fifth metacarpal. Also know as a Boxer’s Fracture. Luckily for you there’s minimal angulation or rotation.”

“And that’s good?”

“Yes. You won’t need reduction or surgery. And it’s not an open fracture so all you’ll need for it to heal is time. I’m going to apply a support bandage and get you a sling for elevation.”

He nods and watches as his hand disappears behind layers of white crepe bandaging.

No home. No boyfriend. And now, with his broken hand, probably no job.

Thank God they gave him morphine.

“Remorse?”

“Yeah.”

“People do crazy things for love.”

“Yeah, I know. You ever done anything crazy, doc?”

There’s a pause before the bandaging continues. “Well, I got into med school to impress a girl and to convince her parents to let us date. She left me for some long haired musician by second year. All I have to show for it is this medical degree, a stable job and my Lexus.”

They both laugh.

“Damm, that’s cold though. Did you forgive her?”

The resident tapes up the ends of the bandage. “Over time. I could never resent her anyway. She changed my life. Some pains are just worth it in the end.”

****

“You’re a cliche.”

He’s hearing things.

He must be.

“A stupid cliche.”

And tripping hard on the morphine they gave him.

He turns over and sits up too fast, causing his head to spin, vision to black-out and headache to spike behind his left eye. “Argh….”

A hand pushes his shoulder until he’s lying against the hospital bed again. “Stay down.”

That voice. He knows that voice.

He loves that voice.

“My head hurts.” He groans, eyes still shut to calm down the vertigo.

“Probably from carrying around that big brain all day.”

When the world stops moving, he opens his eyes, blinks a few times to get rid of the blur and once his vision clears, Hanbin’s face comes into view, like a picture from a dream.

That must be the morphine talking.

“Are you really here? What are you doing here? Why are all dressed up?”

He takes in the crisp white shirt, pressed black pants and neatly styled hair. He has never seen Hanbin dressed up like this. This is a fever dream. Or maybe his batch of morphine was spiked with LSD.

“I heard some rapper got into a fight. It was all over the news.” Hanbin says with a shrug.

His eyes widen. “I was on the news?”

Hanbin shakes his head with a small smile. “No. June told me. What the hell were you-”

“Okay, Jiwon. You’re free to go!” The resident walks back into his cubicle holding a box of pain medication and discharge papers, only halting when he sees Hanbin. “Oh. Hello. I’m Dr. Lee. And you must be…”

“This is the Hanbin.”

“Ohhh. You’re Hanbin. Right right.”

It’s the drawn out ‘oh’ that has Hanbin furrowing his brows in confusion. “Yes….hello. Um, thank you for taking care of him. So he can go now?”

“Yes. But he came with two others. Will they-”

Hanbin shakes his head. “I sent them home. I’ll take him.”

“Oh good!” The resident says with a smile. When Hanbin isn’t looking he swears he saw a wink thrown in his direction.

He watches as Hanbin listens to the instructions on medication use and reads the letter detailing future follow up appointments. Where was June? Where was Yo? Why was Hanbin even here?

“Well, good luck Jiwon.” The resident says with a knowing grin before leaning closer to his ear and whispering, “Looks like it was worth it in the end, huh?”

He looks over his shoulder to see Hanbin folding his bloody shirt away and reaching into a bag to pull out a clean hoody.

“Yeah.”

But if he thought their reunion was going to be some beautiful montage of hugs and apologies, he was sadly mistaken.

“What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?” Hanbin rants at the wheel as they drive down the highway. “What if the other guy makes a report to the police? And you were drunk? I’ve seen you drunk. You’re all useless drunk. How can you even fight drunk?”

He lets Hanbin talk and finds himself smiling out the window as the world whizzes by.

“Why are you smiling? Is this funny to you? Yeah, it’s really funny getting a text saying you were at the hospital with an emergency. And June! He didn’t even reply for 10 minutes about why you were there so I got a speeding ticket and heart attack on the way. He can pay for it. No! YOU can pay for it. Well, no you can’t. How are you even going to go to work with a broken hand. A broken hand, Jiwon! Jesus.”

They get to a red light and he starts giggling at the absurdity of the entire situation. It really doesn’t help Hanbin’s mood.

“This isn’t cool. You could’ve really injured a guy. You could’ve really injured yourself! Did you even think about that?” Hanbin asks, distress etched all over his face.

He stops laughing as the guilt begins to eat away at him. “But I’m fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, you’ll be just fine. What about me, huh? Not like I’ve been mentally unstable lately or anything. I really love having to think about you dying or something.”

“I’m sorry.” He says as the light turns green.

Hanbin looks over at him, eyes softening for a moment before changing gears. “It’s okay.”

He watches Hanbin drive for a few minutes and it hits him: this is the first time he’s been in the passengers seat in Hanbin’s car. Hanbin hates driving anywhere so why was he even driving now?

“Why did you send June and Yo home? They could’ve taken me. I’m staying there anyway. It doesn’t make any logical sense for you to come all this way-”

“I didn’t come because of logic.” Hanbin says.

He doesn’t get it. “So why did you come?”

“I just….I just thought something happened to you.”

“So what? You came because you were curious?”

Hanbin shakes his head in frustration, his knuckles white and tense at the wheel. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I didn’t want to end things like this.”

It hits a nerve. “Like what? Things already ended. You told me to leave, remember?”

“And you’re the one that left!” Hanbin snaps.

“I left because you told me to!” He snaps back. “You said you wanted time alone! I didn’t do it because I wanted to leave.”

The cars pulls up into a familiar driveway.

He just stares out the window before turning towards the driver’s side. “How sick are you? Or do you just like it when we suffer?”

“What?” Hanbin looks at him in confusion.

He gestures out the window and points up to the fourth floor. “Why did you drive me back here? To remind me of everything I’m not allowed to have? No offence but I think I’m all maxed out on bad luck tonight, okay? I’ll walk back to June’s if I have to.”

He tries to take off his seatbelt but his right hand is bandaged and it’s too awkward reaching around the sling with his left. Not that it stops him from trying.

“Jiwon. Stop…stop…” Hanbin’s words are soft, scared, sad. He has to ignore it. He can’t get dragged back into this game where all he does is lose. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I just wanted to take care of you. It should be me.”

“Why should it be you? Why?!” He can hear the sharp edges in his voice. He’ll regret this later. He regrets it now. “I don’t want your pity, okay? You think you can just tell me you don’t want me one minute then suddenly decide to come back when you feel guilty? You can’t do that to people! You can’t play with them like that! Do you really think I’m going to just sit here…..”

He finally struggles out of the seatbelt and gets out of the car.

"I’m not! That’s not what I’m doing.” Hanbin scrambles out of his seat to follow him down the driveway. “Can you just stop and listen for a minute!?”

He stops walking as they get to the corner of the road. His mind is spinning and the thoughts inside his head are all jumbled by the alcohol and drugs in his system. “Fine. But no more bullshit, Hanbin. Say what you need to say. I can’t think about this anymore. It’s fucking killing me.”

“I just….I came to take you home.”

“Why?”

He knows it’s cruel, putting Hanbin on the spot like this, he can see the struggle on his face but it’s too late, they were too far gone and he needs to know. Now or never.

“Because….I wanted you home.”

He looks at Hanbin’s scared face and takes a step towards him. “Why?”

“Because I missed you.”

He shakes his head and keeps walking. “Not good enough. Why?”

“You know why.”

He stops when they’re only an arms length away. “I told you, no more bullshit. Why did you come?”

To his credit, Hanbin doesn’t look away this time. The scared expression replaced with some kind of quiet defiance. “I came to get you back. I wanted you to come back.”

He wasn’t expecting Hanbin to be that blunt and honest. “Why?” He says, softer this time.

Hanbin scowls and punches him on the arm. “Now you’re just being annoying.”

He grins smugly, causing the cut on his lip to bleed again. “Yeah, I know. But tell me. Just this once.”

Hanbin rolls his eyes and sighs before reaching out to dab at the cut with the sleeve of his shirt. “Because I like you. You asshole.”

He uses his good arm to pull Hanbin forward until they’re inches apart. “See, it wasn’t that hard right?”

Hanbin grimaces, pretends to resist. “Because you weren’t the one saying it.”

“Okay. My turn, then?”

“No, you don’t have to say anything…”

“I’m an asshole and I like you too.”

The small dimple-smile that he gets in return is worth every hit he took. He holds Hanbin’s face with his good hand, taking his time to remember everything again. Just in case.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi.”

“Wanna go home now?”

“Yeah.”

Hanbin’s fingers find his, their bodies fitting neatly against each other’s as they walk back up the street and take the familiar stairs to the fourth floor.

He lets out a loud sigh when they step inside the apartment. He was only gone for two weeks but it felt like so much longer. He missed everything, even the stupid wall clock that always ticks too loudly. He really just wants to dive head first into their bed but the grip on his arm pulls him from going any further.

“You’re all sweaty and bloody. It’s kinda gross.” Hanbin says, screwing up his nose.

He yawns, suddenly overcome by exhaustion as the long day catches up with him. Toeing off his Jordans he’s surprised at the way his feet automatically jam themselves into the Winnie The Pooh slippers by the door. They never even moved from their position in the line-up.

He doesn’t remember that much after that. Hanbin draws him a bath, tapes a plastic bag around his right hand and makes him sit in the warm bubbles. He rests his head on a stack of towels and blinks sleepily.

“I haven’t had anyone give me a bath since I was a kid.”

Hanbin snorts. “You’re still a kid.”

Hanbin’s fingers massage his scalp gently and he sighs as the warm water runs down his skin. “Mmmm, it’s nice.”

“Jiwon?”

“Hrmm?”

“What happened at the club?”

“Some guy was talking shit.”

“That deserves a punch in the face does it?”

“He was talking shit about you.”

The damp towel scrubbing at the dried blood near his jaw pauses for a split second. “So what? You’re going to start a fight with every guy who talks shit about me?”

He shrugs. “Maybe. Depends on the shit.”

“Stupid…..so stupid….” Hanbin mutters.

He hums in agreeance.

“Hey, you got blood all over Richard Parker.” Hanbin says, holding out his right arm and scrubbing at all the dried blood splattered over his tiger tattoo. “Makes him look badass.”

“He was already a badass. He knows maths.”

Hanbin laughs and he smiles into the stack of towels, it splits his lip again but some pains really are worth it in the end.

****

Soundtrack for this chapter:

The Scientist | ENL | Someone Like You (for Donghyuk)

#Cloudy With A Chance #those songs have some of the best lyrics #My favourite lyrics for a really long time was that line from The Scientist #because it's so true #especially for people who always try to use logic and reason on the heart #it doesn't work hahaha #Donghyuk's monologue is inspire by Chasing Amy (which is one of my favourite screenplays)#text #fic #double b #hanbin #bobby #ikon #cwac

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escailyyy · 7 years

Text

A grandaughter's problem

“Ah so there’s my little lightsaber, come to visit your old granddaddy eh?” Obiwan Kenobi huffed wheeling his wheelchair down the hall of his retirement haven, towards the angry form of his most rebellious granddaughter Kira, rolling his eyes at her revealing clothes he raised an eyebrow in the way only a retired member of the Special Joined, Equanimity Division of Intelligence (J.E.D.I) order could “you just missed Rey and Daisy, who by the way had a very interesting piece of gossip to share”

“Daisy and Rey don’t know anything” Kira snapped crossing her arms over her scantily clad chest, taking in his subtle chastisement and making a beeline for Obiwan’s linen closet, emerging minutes later clad in one of her grandfather’s old black Jedi Council tunics and sweatpants three sizes too big “they need to stay out of my bloody life, what gives them the right to butt in?”

“So, you haven’t been receiving flowers for a whole week in a row coupled with Slayer CD’s?” Grandfather Kenobi wondered raising an eyebrow “and you haven’t been refusing to let them read the cards that come with said gifts?” Wheeling himself to the adjacent kitchen Obiwan reached for the ever-boiling kettle that was a hallmark of the Kenobi household “have some tea Kira”

“FINE, I’ll tell you…but only because you’re you and because you’re not being a pain in the ass like Tweedle Dee Dee and Tweedle Dee Dum” Kira accepted the tea with a grudging smile and groaned “Gramps I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me!! I swear one minute I’m fine, going about my life, punching the crap out of my competition in the ring and one minute I’m not and then everything goes bloody sideways, and it’s all my stupid fault for saving Ben’s life”

“Kira, calm down, I assume it’s a long story yes?”

“Of course it is arghhh I just want to punch the bloody asshole”

“Start with the beginning, why did you have to save Ben’s life?”

Obiwan sighed, he often told himself had done a good job with the girls, Luke and Leia could vouch for that, after surviving the fall of the Emperor’s drug empire and with Anakin (no longer Vader) living out his remaining days in a high security glorified nursing home, Obiwan Kenobi hadn’t planned on one day being contacted by social services just about ten or so years later with the news that the secret son he’d had with Satine, who was supposed to be living a happy tragedy less life in Mandalore, was dead and unless he claimed custody of his son’s three orphan children the girls would be shipped off to some place far like Jakku.

So Obiwan had stepped up, retired to a modest house near the beach in Yavin IV and raised the girls himself with the occasional help from what was left of his friends.

Funny how the reason he’d abstained from mixing too much with Leia’s family was because he thought her own set of pre teen triplets were already enough work for Han and her her and in the end it turned out that it was Obiwan who found himself handing out sage advice to her.

Kenobi didn’t regret raising the girls away from Coruscant, if anything he was glad Rey, Kira and Daisy had gone to small town schools and roamed the beach and woods to their hearts content.

He just hadn’t counted with their strange fascination towards the Solo boys.

Anakin (Mustafar blast him) liked to laugh trough his life support and tell him he deserved it for all the grief Obiwan ever put his former Padawan trough.

“The beginning…Well, I guess it started last year when that bantha shit of Ben Solo said I wouldn’t know how to dress like a real girl even if Jessica Pava herself let me borrow her whole wardrobe, which is a load of… ”

“Was this before or after you ruined Kylo’s chance with Rey by showing her that video of him trashing his tattoo parlor after talking to Han” her Grandfather interrupted with narrowed eyes

“a bit after, the next day I think” Kira admitted ruefully “in my defense I have nothing against Kylo, he’s just a violent weirdo who doesn’t deserve Rey”

“Kira! You told Rey that Kylo had torched the falcon with Han inside!” Obiwan scolded “And belittle him infront of her every time you get a chance”

“He’s not good enough for her! Someone’s got to make sure she knows it” Kira protested crossing her arms over her chest.

“And Daisy with Matt?”

“Those two can ruin their relationship on their own”

“KIRA LAN KENOBI” Obiwan snapped raising his voice to scold her once again “sabotaging the happiness of your sisters is not something I approve of”

“But Grandpa!”

“Just continue your story”

“Well, then I told Ben that how would he know, since the only time he’s ever been interested in girls clothes was when he’s trying to take them off some poor unsuspecting soul”

“It all escalated from there until he said that from looking at my chest he understood why guys ran away from me”

“And you punched him in the face” Obiwan guessed wisely

“I did”

“You know his hostility might have had something to do with your single-minded tendency of ruining his brother’s happiness” but her grandfather’s observation got ignored by Kira

“But every time we’ve seen each other since then is the same thing” Kira kept on talking “he was always bloody remarking on the fact that I’m too boyish and tough and violent, and screw him I might not be all boobs and ass like Bazine but I’m not a bloody guy!”

“Isn’t that Bazine the girl you called “skanky cabaret stripper” after the Solo’s last New Year’s Eve party?“ Obiwan recalled the moniker being repeated with way too much frequency whenever Kira complained about Ben Solo’s womanizing and why that made Kylo and Matt entirely wrong for Rey or Daisy

"That’s the one, she’s got fake: nails, boobs, hair, teeth and personality"Kira listed angrily before returning to the subject at hand "so last week after debating it out with Rey in Han’s garage I got fed up, I just went downtown, bought a couple of dresses that would make even someone like Solo stop and pay attention and showed up at Poe’s birthday bash with Rey”

“Yes, I remember, incidentally Daisy told me that you and I quote "looked like a goddess of darkness, but got angry and left early’ and those were her exact words”

Kira smirked she HAD looked like a goddess thank you very much, that red and black one shoulder cocktail dress with her best skull printed fishnet stockings and loose hair had been enough to make her stand out even next to Phasma (which was a feat considering Phas had the term ‘Chrome Queen’ down to a trademark and Kira always looked like a punk rock Hobbit when they hung out together) “here’s the thing Granps, Hux was there too, he tried flirting with moi, which made me laugh at every three words he said”

“Why? Didn’t you want boys to notice the pretty dress? Daisy said Hux was your type” Obiwan had long ago accepted the fact that his girls were grown up, honestly after having to give them the talk before puberty and managing to survive ten or so years of synchronized periods, he considered the whole talking-about-boys thing the least traumatic of conversation topics.

“Hey one, ew it’s Hux, he doesn’t count as a boy because he’s a ginger and please feel free to take offense, gingers are the devil” Kira pointed out making her grandfather laugh “two, everytime Armitage Hux tries flirting with me it’s only because he’s trying to look casual when he turns around to make an actual move on Phasma, constipated and anal retentive as he is” Kira snorted “and three, it wasn’t a PRETTY dress, it was a badass masterpiece of clothing that was dug out from a ceremonial tomb in the ruins of Jedha and restored to its original glory by a black market Tailor”

“Kira what have I told you about doing your shopping in the ill-obtained-goods district of Coruscant?” Old Kenobi interjected with exasperation

“It’s a dress Grandpa…Or two or three, the tomb of Wesi Ker isn’t going to miss them and they came at a lower rate than the designer garbage General Organa loves to dress Rey in”

“Force give me patience” Grandfather said elevating his eyes to the sky “Don’t change the subject young lady, what did Hux do that you left early?”

“Hux? Nothing, didn’t I just tell you that Hux has a weird fetish for gigantic and blonde bi ladies?” Kira snapped, recalling Hux smarmy compliments “it was Ben! He’s the one who called me hot one moment and as soon as he saw Hux said I looked like cheap a skin girl, the idiot, chauvinistic, pompous bantha anus that he is”

“I take it you also punched him for the remark” in fact if she hadn’t it would have been a sign of the Apocalypse for Old Kenobi

“Of course not, it was Poe’s birthday, I promised Rey that there would be no punching”

“Then what..” old Obiwan raised his finger to ask

“…I took advantage of the slit in the leg of my dress to knee him in the nuts” Kira elaborated then she added for good measure “like a lady good and proper”

Privately Obiwan hoped it had hurt as much as Kira’s pride “so you left early” he deduced with a knowing look

“And ended up saving Ben Solo’s life, when I should have left him to die”

“I take it there’s more to the story than just leaving early then”

“Look I was going to! I even made nice with Poe and everything, bought him this very nice empire era X-Wing air freshener as a gift and abstained from insulting Finn’s obvious bad taste in boyfriends” Kira protested hotly “But Poe, the bloody Tautun, had to make a whole spectacle out of it and Daisy was begging me to stay because she’s Daisy and since Solo is Poe’s best friend, he attempted to cajole me into letting him drive me home, Grandpa, the gall of him! as tough I’m some simpering little idiot who doesn’t know what nasty shit he uses the Millennium Falcon for”

“Kira, didn’t you carpool in Rey’s car that day? Ben Solo might be a scoundrel but I’d have to agree on that one” Obiwan interrupted “I know, I know, you’re Kira Kenobi and can take care of yourself, but don’t blame an old man for being a worrier”

“I was planning to use my speeder, since Phasma brought it and I knew she’d be crashing with he’s-just-a-good-colleague Hux in his fancy Coruscant penthouse”

“A speeder in a dress? Force help me Kira! Not even your grandmother ever did that and believe me, I saw Satine wear a lot of strange clothing when escaping assassination attempts back in the day”

“Solo said the same thing…Well give or take a few ‘do you plan on flashing all the Commonwealth district’ and 'Kira let me drive you home blah blah blah’ oh and when I wouldn’t listen to him he kissed me but that’s unimportant what’s important is that Dabba the Hutt’s minions…”

“Kira?” Obiwan leveled her another Jedi Council eyebrow raise “Ben Solo kissed you?”

“He did, I was trying to get away from him, he followed me to the parking lot and kissed me” She squirmed under her grandfather’s all knowing look

“Ben, the scoundrel you’ve been complaining about since you were thirteen, that Ben” Another Jedi Council eyebrow

“Yes that Ben, the same one I slapped minutes later”

“The Ben that you claim not to like”

“Grandpa! I really don’t like him, he’s an egocentric prick with a hero complex and a wandering dick” Kira didn’t like the laughter in her grandfather’s eyes not one bit and okay maybe that first kiss hadn’t been that bad and maybe he’d tasted like cigarettes and corellian wine but she absolutely still hated him

“Oh the follies of youth my child”

“Anyway, he kissed me, and don’t look at me like that I slapped the grin of his face and told him I’d never in a million years be a notch in his bedpost then he got angry and told me he’d see me in hell for that lie and I thought that was it, except it wasn’t because as he was leaving the parking lot to join the party Dabba the Hutt’s minions ambushed him”

“What is it with Solo men and angering Hutts? I could tell our one or two stories about Han in his Hutt days that would make even you feel like vomiting” Obiwan huffed as he put two and two together “he might be my namesake but Ben takes after his father too much, why didn’t they just name the boy Han junior?”

“I know! But guess what it turns out this time it wasn’t Ben’s fault” Kira smirked “I know shocking isn’t it”

“Very” her grandfather agreed bring the mug of tea to his lips

“So the twilek and the togruta mobsters ambushed him because that skank of Bazine is now Dabba the Hutt’s sidepiece, and pummeled Ben into submission before stuffing the idiot in the back of a van” then she paused “this is the part where I decided to be an idiot too and followed them in my speeder” she HAD been forced to rip her dress but the shorter length had suited her just fine

“Did you subdue them with a blaster or did you let your fist do the talking?” Obiwan hummed putting his mug down

“A Blaster but how did you know?” In fact she’d followed them into a warehouse and had started shooting warning blasts as soon as she saw Solo tied up with a bag over his head

“I raised you Kira, I know everything” was the sage answer she got

“Anyway there was I shooting at some Hutt minions, saving Solo’s ass, handing him my spare gun and he suddenly gives me that look!” Kira grumbled opening her eyes exaggeratedly and fluttering her eyelashes while trying to imitate Ben “you know the look, the pathetic one Kylo gives Rey when she’s not looking”

“Ahh the Bambi eyes”

“Yes and it’s ridiculous because I’m beating the shit out of those dumpsters for him and we’re right in the middle of a fight, what the hell Grandpa? I didn’t ask for the Bambi eyes!” Kira got angrier “that’s Matt’s deal, hell it’s Kylo’s too, but I am Kira Kenobi and I could have lived the rest of my life perfectly happy without knowing Ben was capable of directing that look at me”

Obiwan knew exactly what look she was talking about, the one that only a Skywalker could replicate, a gaze that was a mixture of awe, worship and admiration with just the right ammount of love that made mooncalfs look tame. Leia had a habit of sporting Bambi eyes whenever she looked at Han after the war.

In hindsight maybe the triplets had inherited the look from Shmi Skywalker, the blame for this couldn’t be laid exclusively at Anakin’s door.

“So he gave you the Bambi eyes and…”

“And now I’m doomed”

“Perfectly understandable”

“No I mean yes, I mean” Kira fisted her hands “We were fighting and he’s looking at me like I’m his new religion or something and then we’re tying up the twilek and the togruta and getting the hell out of Dodge in my speeder and it felt so right grandpa” she took a deep breath and a gulp of tea “and then I’m dropping him off at the Senate building and he’s kissing me again, only this time I kiss him back because dammit who can resist those stupid brown eyes when they have that look”

“So that’s why you think you’re doomed” Obiwan agreed “you’re right dear, you are very much doomed, has he asked you to marry him yet?”

“After we broke apart from that kiss”

“And now he’s sending you flowers” Grandfather chuckled “if you dislike the gesture why don’t you tell him to stop?”

“Because then I’d have to talk to him!” Kira replied then she smiled a little bit momentarily lighting up the perpetual scowl on her face “besides nobody has ever sent me flowers before, all the guys that like me are way too scared”

“What do your sisters think about it?”

“Oh Force if they knew it’s him I’ll never hear the end of it from Rey, they all know scoundrels are so not my kriffin type”

“Exept one scoundrel apparently is”

“I blame the Bambi eyes” Kira crossed her arms over her chest “and you grandpa are not allowed to tell anybody capisce?”

“Who would I tell?” Obiwan lied knowing fully well what his next topic of discussion with Anakin would be when they met up for senior discount brunch in his penitentiary’s cafe

“So what do I do? I don’t want to like him, he’s still an asshole with a hero complex and a womanizer track record”

“Trust the force?” Her grandfather joked earning him a glower from Kira “just follow your instincts Kira, that’s what my old master used to say”

“Your old master died a virgin”

“Actually Qui Gon lied to the Jedi Council about that but that’s a story for another day”

“So it wasn’t just you and vader who lied about that?…You know you Jedis had a ton of double standards” Kira needled in, much like the eldest Solo triplet, Kira had also done a stint in the Secret, Institution for Terror and Hostility (S.I.T.H) that opposed the Jedi order during her teens.

Obiwan had breathed easily when Kira’s fascination with the emperor (who was rumored to be related to the triplets mysterious mother) had dwindled from Sith tendencies down into a simple knack for collecting empire related memorabilia. As opposed to Kylo’s much more painful experience at the hands of Snoke the last head of the Sith organization.

“And that’s a lesson to learn from the old Jedi order that Luke took into account” Obiwan cut off good-naturedly “avoid double standards” he sent her a pointed look “anything else you’d like to share? I can see it’s eating you, trust me my dear if he likes you everything will be fine”

“His last flowers came with tickets to a Black Sabbath concert” Kira confessed ruefully “I didn’t exactly talk to him, but I might have sent him a text telling him to pick me up in three hours”

“I don’t know what millennials are calling that nowadays but in my time we called that a date”

“It’s not a date! I don’t do dates, dates are for pathetic people like Matt and Daisy”

“Does Ben Solo know that?” Obiwan chuckled

“Shut up Grandpa” Kira put her head in her arms and let out a scream “Force I’m so kriffin doomed”

And Obiwan did as a good grandfather would and didn’t voice his agreement out loud “it’s all right Kira, if he gets too out of hand you can just punch him again”

“What if I don’t want to punch him?” Kira raised her head from her arms

“Then you don’t punch him, simple as that”

“I don’t want to be a notch in his bedpost, I’d die if I’m just a game for his stupid nerf herder ass”

“Kira any man that even thinks that you’re the type of girl that gets used like that, deserves all the pain he’ll get when you disabuse him of the notion”

“Thanks Grandpa, that…Made me feel oddly better”

Obiwan sighed leave it to Kira to be comforted by thoughts of violent retribution “You have a Jedi blessing to break that boy’s bones if he doesn’t behave”

“And here I thought you couldn’t be a sweeter old man” Kira smiled “thank you, I really needed to hear that”

Oh Anakin would have a life support field day when Obiwan shared the latest Grandchild gossip, that’s for sure, but in the meantime Obiwan Kenobi poured more tea and listened to Kira’s dramatic death threats towards the man she liked.

He wished Satine could see him now, she would laugh too.

An: lils happy early birthday, Dark Rey was fun to write. Lilithsaur dear this fic was inspired by Franco and Sarita’s relationship in PDG. Also the girls love for quirky Grandpa Martin..

#lilithsaur #trash triplets #ben/kira #dark rey / smuggler ben #grandpa obiwan kenobi #reylo fanfic #reylo #reylo trash

99 notes · View notes

janzzyy · 5 years

Text

"Why did you took psychology?"

professor Khirksten asked, then she look at me intently after I stated my name, my previous school location and age. Today's my first day, and as usual, introduce yourself stage.

"Hmm, I want to explore the mind of people, I'm curious about it. And, this course is interesting. Thou, until now, I don't know what kind of career I wanna take. But well, studying people's mind is interesting" I answered shyly.

"Oh, that's nice, I hope you find what track of career you wanna take someday while you're in this journey" she said with an approachable expression while smiling.

She asked the last student who will introduce himself.

"Well you, Mr. Why did you took psychology?"

"I want to pursue psychiatry if it's our Lord's will why not, but I took this course because first and foremost, I wanna save, find myself, and I want to cure myself. And after that, that's the time I'll able to help other people with their mental illness. It's difficult for them to go on and live their life, if they're struggling inside." He said and sit down, he wore a facemask, that's why I didn't see his expression, but I could see a hidden glint of sadness in his eyes while telling us his answer.

In our class, students of course has their different reasons on why did they took psychology. The good thing is, they're into reality, they wanted to help, they're so open minded and I'm not the only one who said that I don't know yet my career in future. All of us has these deep reasonings, motivation so we can keep and strive hard for our dreams, as well as our goals in our life. ---

It's our third day of school and I notice that my classmates are not just open minded ones, they are so jolly and they enjoy to laugh. Well me, Im such an aloof and introverted btch one, so until now I don't have that 'friend' you call.

While sitting here on grass below the tree, I'm enjoying myself eating a snack while reading a book with an earphone in my ears. The book I'm reading write now is a poetry one, Sea of Strangers by Lang leav and listening to music which is, Leave it All Behind by Sleeping with Sirens.

I feel someone on my side by I didn't look up. I continue read and enjoying the music I'm listening too.

I feel one of my earphone fell, but in my surprise the man beside me took it and put it in his ear. He's in his converse shoes, faded jeans, a white shirt with messy hair. I'm shock but it's not visible on my face. I can smell his natural scent. His the one who talked about psychiatry and wanted to heal himself.

I didn't speak nor talk. I look at him with why-did-you-do-that stare.

"You have a great taste music interest. I like it, it's my favorite tbh" He said while smiling.

---

With that, we became best friends. I learned that we have common interests and similarities. I like his presence as well as his company.

---

Were sitting in our usual spot where in Grassland. Greenery sightseeing with trees in surrounding and of course grass underground. What were doing right now is thesis writing. It's nearly 9pm we can see little beam lights with different colors. Most students are in their night classes and some are going home.

A pair of earphone in our ears, and just talking and asking each other about thesis and writing also.

--- Were like a couple, but not really. I guess were just a close bestfriends, we enjoy each other's company and yes, these undescribable feelings I have is resulting where the butterflies are lingering inside my stomach. Whenever I look at him, I want to caress his hair in my hand, I want to hug him softly. I may act aloof, cold and distant, but I admit that I'mma kind of clingy person, especially to the person I like.

---

It's been a month when I noticed that he's avoiding me. He's the one who will go out first and he's not with me these days. Just like in our first week, I left alone again. I don't know what push him to avoid me. Did he noticed the feelings I've been burying now? Well, I admit I miss him. Does he know? Well ofc if he knew about it, he will truly avoid me. I'm just an aloof, distant, dull and boring person you to be with. Not so sexy, not so pretty and not that glass skin like other girls you can see.There's nothing new to that. But I really miss him. I used to hangout with him. He's the only bestfriend I have in this college journey. I didn't confess to him because I don't wanna ruin the relationship that we have. I'm contented with that. But, does he know about it?

"Okay class dismissed" Ms. Khirksten said. "Oh, before I forgot, Mr. Alexander, come to my office" she said and adjust her prescription glasses.

---

Okay. I have to wait for him outside the office. I can't take anymore that we're not talking. This is frustrating. Arghhh. I have to face him and asked him directly why did he do that. Be brave self.

"Arghhhh, what time will they get done?" I murmured while standing outside the office.

"Ughhhh, I'm hungry. Where's that dickhead?" I murmured again then I heard the sound of open door. I look at it, and there he is.

"What's with the office? Why did they call you?" I innocently asked.

"Later, for now let's eat first" He said then grip my hand and walk to the cafe as if were fine and the avoiding thing between us didn't happen.

We've finished eating and I asked him again.

"Hey, what's with the office? Did you do something wrong for you to go there?" I asked again.

"Tell me, I'm curious you know" I said.

"You really wanna know?" He said, looking at me nervously.

"Yepp"

Later I'll tell you.

---

Were here in the rooftop of abandoned house way in our home. We usually go here and just hangout again. This is why I like him, he always sticks around with me, and yeah the feelings i have is getting deeper and deeper as we bond.

Leaning my arms on railing, looking at the beautiful city lights and scattering cars down.

"Hey, look. So beautiful isn't it?" I asked. And as usual I feel that one67 pair of my earphones is in his ears again.

"Yep, it is" he said, then I look at him and now he's looking at me also.

"What?" I asked.

"I will tell you" he said looking at me intently.

"Oh, so you'll answer my question earlier? Why did you come to officeeeee?" I asked him.

"Nope, not that" he said.

"Then wha--"

He kissed me.

I can feel the heat on my cheeks. I can feel my heart beats racing. I can hear the music on my ears playing I can feel the sensation, the way he kissed me. I can feel that my feelings for him is bursting out because of the kiss.

And because of this feelings, I forgot that I was pretending. I forgot that his just a bestfriend. I forgot that he should not know.

I kiss him back. I move my lips into his and savouring the feeling. I pour my feelings into that kiss that we're sharing. And because of the sensation. Absentmindly, I put my arms around his neck and kiss him passionately. Then his lips turned to my cheeks, then to my neck. He's sucking it hard time, and I can't contain the moan because of the pain and pleasure mixing.

He stopped. His breathing ragged and panting. And when my inbition came back, I was surprised to what I did, I should push him but I didn't utter any word.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean i---"

"Hey, why did you do that?" I asked and touch his face to turn his face on me.

"It's nothing serious" he said, avoiding his gaze to me.

"Hey, look at me" I said, still my heart is insanely beating fast.

"You didn't do that without a reason, knowing you," I said looking at him intently.

"And what I'm talking about earlier is the office thing, I was curious about it, I asked you and instead of answering me, you kissed me" I added.

"I- I like you, ah- no. I love you" he said, gaze at me, I can see the intensity of his feelings behind the uttered phrase.

My heart is beating fast. The guy that I like, he loves me. I thought it was an unrequited one. I'm speechless. But I have to say something.

"Hmp, you said you love me? But you avoided me? Is that how you express your feelings towards me?" I said, lifting up the uncomfortable atmosphere.

"I don't know what to say, your reaction? You're not surprised?" He asked innocently.

This guy, asking it and seeing him in that state is making him cute.

"Ofc, I'm surprised. But let me ask you. Why me? Tbh, you're a handsome man bro, why me? I'm not sexy, I don't have a firm skin like other girls have, especially girls that are attracted to you. I'm nothing special" I said while looking at the city lights to simply dodge his gaze on me.

"Why you? Well, that's you. You are just being yourself. And dont tell me that you're not pretty, because in my eyes, you are. I love all the things about you. Your flaws, your moodswings, thou sometimes you act distant, but I do know you. You understand me. You stay even I'm annoying. You accept me as I am. It may sound cliche but I like you the way you are. You're unique. You filled the broken soul I have. I'm happy when I'm with you. I feel complete." He said with a tear escaped in his eyes.

"Then why did you avoid me? Why tell me your feelings just now? I'm here waiting, I didn't tell you my feelings because I'm afraid of rejection. Our friendship might be ruin. But... but... I like you too. You don't know how much I missed you when you avoid me. I feel incomplete. I- missed you. I miss all about you. You're always there. You're everywhere. I'm already used to your presence." I said crying, I hugged him tightly.

"I thought I was the only one who has the feelings between us. What a torture because of pretending I've been doin just not for you to notice this feelings I have for you. And now that you confessed, I can't explain the happiness I'm feeling right now" I added while sobbing, my face on his shirt.

"Shh. It's fine. I'm here" He said comfortably.

After that, he look at me. Give me a peck on lips and hugged me.

"So, let's go back to the thing and what really is the topic here. Why did Ms. Khirsten called you to office? Did you do something inappropriate?" I asked while hugging him still.

"You are really a curious one, aren't you?" He said and chuckled.

What a music in my ears plus the manly scent I'm smelling.

"Do you really wanna know? He asked.

"Yeah, please answer my question" I replied.

I'm nervous. Why he can't answer me this straight?

"Okay then" he said.

"They've been preparing the papers I have because I will go to the States, I will pursue the field of psychiatry there. And luckily, my parents will be the one who will support me there" he said, looking at me and drop his gaze down and a hint of regret on his face because he just told me the answer.

"Well, I assume that's the reason you have why were you avoiding me." I said and there, I felt again that hot liquid running down on my cheeks.

"Yeah, for you to not being use to my presence, and me not to be hurt so much if I'm gone" he said while carressing my hair.

"What should we do now?" I said.

"Can you wait for me?" He said, looking at me, his thumb on my undereye, wiping my tears.

"That's difficult. Long distance is kinda difficult. But for you I will" I said.

"So are we officially couple?" he asked and wondering.

"Not yet, you dumb dickhead. Ofc, you have to court me. I'm still a woman right?" I said while smiling.

"Oh, ofc I will. It's just that, please. Please don't replace me. Pursuing my dream there is not easy without you by my side. But please, let's get going, achieve our goals even we're far away from one another. Let's call often. Even when things are getting busier and busier, please, let's make time for each other okay?" He said to me, and hug me again. He then kissed my forehead, my eyes, my nose and my lips.

---

I'm here at the airport, with him. He will go to the States. Minutes later, he'll be far. This will be the last hug we can have, a last kiss for now. A last interaction within each other personally for the mean time.

"Please, don't replace me." I said while hugging him.

"You're the only one" He said while caressing my hair.

Its awkward that were here in the airport and there's a melodrama but who cares.

"Let's call each other always, okay?" I said while crying.

"I will not stay there that permanently honey, I will go back and forth if its a summer break. I will update you that, and we can be together that time" He said.

"I will miss you so much" He added.

"But we can do this, this is our dream. We'll hold on tightly, its gonna be a bumpy ride, but we will survive this. I love you honey" He said and kiss me.

"I love you too" I said and kiss him back.

---

Years later. He came back. He as a psychiatrist and me as an Obgyne Doctor. We're both professionals and were engage.

If you really love each other, you will overcome any challenges that will throw on your relationship. As they said. Love conquers all, and also with Lord by our side. It's not easy, before he came back, we face a lot of problems, we argued, we lost time for each other. But at the end, love wins. Keep your trust, love, honesty and faith towards one another and swallow your pride for your loved ones.

0 notes

the-youthdeetox · 7 years

Quote

♡ 20th July I count my lucky stars I have you in my life, no one compares to you and no one will understand how much love for you I have and how much I care about you. I want to be with you for the rest of my life. 24th July You make me shiver, and tingle. You make me happy when I'm sad and happier when I'm already happy. You and only you make my day better. Nothing on this earth makes me as happy and as excited as you do. Talking to you makes my day, being with you makes me feel whole again. 31st July You know you make me feel like shit, you make me feel bad about what I eat and how much I eat. And you know that's not ok, I give you so much leverage when you diss me but the way you go on about what I eat makes me unhappy. Stop. 3rd August So last night you said that I've gained weight, "only a little bit" and then you blamed it on the pill. You have never hurt me more then now, you have made me feel fat, disgusting, and not good enough to be with you. Now I don't even want to see you, I'm just a self conscious blob. You have been hinting on it for weeks and I so knew but to say it and mean it made my heart drop. I just can't believe you would even bother to keep bringing it up. I can not stop feeling anxious, and I'm so hurt. You have really done it this time. And you know what makes it worse, after that comment, I was really upset and wasn't being the nicest person, BUT of course you had to bring yourself into this and say shit like, "I didn't actually call you fat, let's just change the topic, it's definitely from the pill" and then you have excuses for me to stop being angry. "You've called me fat so many times!" YOU HAVE GOT A SIX PACK FOR FUCK SAKE!!! You know I joke around. And then you say you don't want to do this anymore, you hate fighting every night and you're sick of it. "Stop calling me" I'm crying. Distraught. Trying to understand what you're saying. "So you don't want me anymore?" Sorry. I don't know! Yes I do I'm just sick of fighting. ITS A FUCKING RELATIONSHIP THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS! Then you actually answer and I have to fucking make an agreement to stop fighting and I HAVE TO APOLOGISE. Me. "I hate texting at night I just want to chill, I hate how you text back so fast, just stop it." All I ever do is try to make you happy and I can't, I don't know what I can do anymore. I'm lost, what if I'm the only one trying in this relationship and the world is trying to tell me that, me trying is not how it goes and it's not okay. What if I'm ignoring all the signs around me that are saying, "Why are you apologising for something you did not do? Why are you so unhappy but you refuse to actually believe it? Why are you being stuck in this dismal thought that Z is actually in love with you?" Why are you doing this to yourself Yanah? - written while sick in bed, crying and thinking of nothing but not being here anymore 8th August I am unsure of your feelings. I am hooked to you. In love so much I would happily scream it to the world. But I am unsure about you, you have no effort and I struggle to hear how you feel. I love you, but I want someone to love me just as much. 9th August Sick of this stupid playing hard to get shit. Or maybe you just don't love me as much as I thought anymore, what the fuck am I meant to do. 11th August Last night we were officially over. After a year of ups and downs. We are done. I'm not going back, I'm sick of you not knowing your feelings and I'm sick of being used and I'm sick and tired. That was our last chance. Im not coming back now. And I don't want you to either. It was so much fun knowing the other side of you and being with you and being in love with you, but know I have better things coming. Thank you for everything... I will ALWAYS be in love with you. 13th August I saw you last night, I don't know what you feel. You probably don't care, at all. And that's what hurts the most. I miss you but at the same time you can go get fucked. Was over it long before we ended, thank you for making up my mind. 14th August After countless times telling myself not to even touch you I couldn't resist. You're fucking amazing. I have no words. We kissed and I know i still love you. 1:42 I wonder how you are feeling right now, do you still want a break or are you craving me back? 15th August We made up, and last night you opened up more then ever. And you called, scared about Harley, and I answered, told you everything would be okay and I said if you need me call again. I fell really hard asleep and didn't get your next call. At 1:15am, I'm sorry I was just really tired. I love you still. 26th August I stayed over at yours and we went to Cooly and every time we start hanging out with people you lose interest in me. You don't wanna hang out, you don't talk, you got cooked and you wouldn't even talk to me. You don't love me at all. Even worse when we got home and you just ARGHHH, I'm worth so much I hate this, I could give you the world and you don't want any of that! Fuck this night, this has made me never want to sleep again. 28th August Dad found out I stayed at yours. He found out I said cunt. I don't know which is worse. But either way spending time with you makes me regret nothing. I will love you forever. 29th August Thanks for messaging me, ignored once again. 11:19pm I told my dad I loved you today, and I do. With all my heart and all my soul. I don't understand how I could fall in love so easy and so hard. He just rolled his eyes and probably thinks I'm a lunatic for falling in love at such an early age... But so what? It will never matter how old you are, what race, hair colour, or amount of tattoos anyone could have, love will never stop until you have fallen over the top and into it. I don't think it's fair that I have to sit up at nearly 11:30 and having to explain to myself that "he's just tired", he "needed some sleep." I don't believe that, but for some strange reason my mind just ticks and switches off at the thought of being angry at you. And it won't be me this time who breaks up with who, I regret breaking up with you. I really do. I don't know if we would be better off, or we would hate each other more, maybe I'd be in love with somebody else who treats me like a total princess and never ceases to amaze me, but here I am, awake at nearly 11:30 and in love with a boy who hasn't discovered how he feels yet. It's hard watching people you love rip you apart. My dad, tries, but now I notice he doesn't try as hard lately. Maybe I'm a failure to him, that hurts to write. All I have ever wanted to do was make my dad happy and proud, I have lived up to his expectations ALL my life. I have lost friends and gained new ones over his opinion, his opinion that shaped my mind to judge someone so easily on their outer appearance. And maybe that's why I resent him so so much right now. I hate the way he tries to make me laugh, I hate how he constantly tries to strike up a conversation with me, and I hate how right now at this very moment I have tears in my eyes because I know that I hate how my dad treats me, not even that, I hate how he controls me. But deep deep down I just miss the way he used to look at me and smile when I made him proud. One day I want to tell him without starting to cry, because every time I try that's all I do. I cry, and I'm weak, and I try to look tough on my outer but I struggle with things and I don't have many close friends because no one likes me enough to put up with me. I'm constantly trying to make people like me that never will. And I will do this for the rest of my life, I will try and fail, and I will try another time, and I'll probably keep failing for the rest of my life. "You're doomed to fail," similar words to what my dad said to me this afternoon when he went on about how I fail at school and I don't try at anything anymore. I don't really wanna live at home anymore but at the same time I don't want to move away from my dad. He's the best and worst thing in my life and I love him with my whole heart and soul but I can't say I haven't thought about how my life may be if he weren't here. Maybe it's my adolescence that makes me so rebellious. Or maybe it's the fact that I want to live a life that doesn't fit into anyone's standards, a life that I invent. 30th August How shit does it feel to know we just ended and you don't even fucking care. I still wanna be with you. And I made that evident with the last 5 paragraphs I just sent to you. God I embarrass myself in front of you. You know what I want from you, I want you to talk to me in real life and on messenger like you enjoy it, I want you to seem interested in me and what I have to say. I want for you to ask me to hangout or at least when we half organise I want you to actually rock up. I want you to love me like I love you, and I wanna be your girlfriend so so bad it's killing me. I love you with everything. 31st August I don't know what I can say anymore. I feel... I don't know how I feel. I want to be yours, but at the same time I'm so sick of how you don't want me anymore and how you just wanna wait. What if I wait and then after footy you don't want me? Or even worse, you say you do but you act like you don't. I just want to feel loved and I guess that's a lot to achieve. I don't know why you don't want a girlfriend, maybe it's me, or maybe it's because I'm annoying or maybe it's what you truly say it is; You want me but you just aren't ready. If you take longer then after footy I don't think I honestly will be able to wait, I mean I love you, but I hate how I just so easy run for you and offer my whole heart and soul up to you, and you chuck it in the trash. 27th Feb Fuck love, it gets you no where.

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