#are the majority of people not going the whole 'warning the world about the end times' route?

[looneyleyle]

the self-destructive habits of a hopeless romantic ~ j. hughes

synopsis: monetizing one's self-sabotaging habits, surprisingly, has its downfalls. one of them being leaving that one attractive hockey player that is an absolute gentleman who loves you with his whole entire heart.

warnings: self-sabotage, self-deprecation, angsty (but with happy ending)

word count: 3425 words

note: once again unedited but i wanted to get this one out there

???'s pov

time and time again, the world has seen the self destructive habits of humans. well, that makes it seem serious. the world has seen the countless missed opportunities due to a fear of another's reaction. the world has seen the blunders due to saving face. the world has seen the heartbreaks due to miscommunication. time and time again, the world has seen how people sabotage their own lives for the dumbest reasons.

esther graham was no different.

in fact, she capitalized on her ability to put herself into the worst emotional distress possible. every heartbreak produced a great work of literature that would nearly sell out in bookstores all over the northeast. she wasn't a new york times best seller by any means, but she was a small town writer from mont vernon, new hampshire. she made a name for herself during her time at hamilton college in their creative writing program. in her junior year of college, she published her first book, woes of a teenage failure, a novel following what could have been for a young college drop out named sophia. the book was a hit amongst her peers and professors, and by word of mouth, ended up selling 200 copies. the book, as ms. graham remarked, was her own "what-if" story, as she almost dropped out of college the beginning of her sophomore year.

and how do i know so much about ms. graham?

well, because i am ms. esther graham.

and i'm here to tell you all about the biggest blunder of my life.

after my first book, i hit major writing block. i would stare at my computer screen for hours just to delete the only three words that i could come up with. i would sit in coffee shops, pen in hand, ready for inspiration to strike, and yet, nothing. i was nearing the end of my college career, riding on the coattails of my first and only book's success, and couldn't figure out how to continue. my professors taught me plenty of ways to try and combat writer's block, but nothing worked.

until i met ryan. a devilishly handsome man all the way from the cheese state of wisconsin, who was meeting up with some college friends for the annual boston beanpot. we had our meet cute at a nearby pizza joint, in which i sat down and started chatting with him, thinking he was a publisher that i was supposed to meet with. after realizing my blunder when he had absolutely no idea what an anthology was, he asked if i wanted to join him and his friends at the beanpot, as one of their friends had cancelled, leaving them with an extra ticket.

ryan and i dated for four months. we would take turns traveling between my college in new york and his in wisconsin until eventually it became too much, or should i say, too little for him, and he broke it off. in my rage and complete depression from the breakup, i wrote my next hit, until the sun sets, a 142-page anthology of gut-wrenching poems, which was eventually integrated into hamilton college's curriculum for their young adult modern literature class. i was quite proud of that.

after that, i found myself yet again staring at blanks screens and empty notepads.

that is, until chloe. a beautiful new york native whom i had actually met while dating ryan. she was a hostess at a restaurant ryan and i would always go to. she was pursuing her masters in psychology, which gave me fascinating insights and tactics to use in my books. we were never officially together, but we had something for almost three months before she was whisked off by some californian named ella. i never saw her again, which prompted my next book, the ninth floor, a murder mystery following a closeted lesbian couple in 1940's hollywood (it was one of the girlfriends the whole time).

at this point, when i hit a creative block for the third time, i realized that i needed my heart or brain to be in absolute shambles in order to produce my best work. i needed to be at some sort of life crisis, and the easiest way to do so was to love another and let that love be ripped out of your life.

so, i began dating for the sake of my career. it was like i sought out the most manipulative, scummy people in the world who were able to get away with it just because they were attractive. over the course of a year, my first year out of college, i dated a total of three men and one woman, and poured my emotions out into a collection of short stories titled lavender.

and that was when i met jack.

i was in new jersey for a book signing at this little bookstore which, as it turns out, was right by the prudential center. as i left the bookstore, i was nearly run over by an overly excited man-child with a giant bag slung upon his shoulder.

"luke, watch out, you nearly killed that woman!" a voice yelled from where the man came from.

"i'm so sorry about that miss, my brother can get a bit overexcited sometimes." looking at the person talking to me, i found a young, very attractive brunet with the most adorable smile. i straightened myself up instinctively, wanting to appear presentable.

"no worries. if you don't mind me asking, what got him so riled up that he almost trampled me?" the man let out a laugh at my statement.

"of course, we owe you at least that much for your near-death experience. he just got nominated for the calder trophy." he explained, as if those words meant anything to me. seeing my blank stare, he clarified. "a rookie of the year award. we play for the new jersey devils." the boy in question came up and joined us, grinning ear to ear.

"ahhh, i see. i'm not a big hockey watcher, which i know is absolute blasphemy for someone who grew up in new hampshire." his jaw nearly dropped.

"you're from up here and don't like hockey? we have to change that." he exclaimed. in my peripheral vision, i could see his brother trying to hide his laughter at his brother's forwardness.

"ill have to come and watch a game sometime." i mused.

"we have a game coming up next week against the blue jackets. i could maybe snatch you a seat in exchange for your number." he proposed. his brother snorted at that, having to turn around to hide his obvious laughter. the man paid his brother no mind, just looking at me with a big smile on his face.

"trying to bribe me mister?"

"is it working?" i put my hand out and he immediately put his phone in my hand, adding my information into his contacts.

"esther? that's nice, you look like a esther." i quirked an eyebrow at him, but continued on anyways.

"and you? what should i call you?"

"call me yours. or jack, either works." the brother was doubled over on the floor at this point, jack finally acknowledging him by kicking him slightly, making him fall over.

"anyways, ms. esther, we have to get going, but ill see you next week at our game." he put out his hand for me to shake.

"you've got yourself a deal jack."

and just like that, jack and i started talking. his eagerness was cute, he texted me no more than ten minutes after meeting me. we talked every day, mainly on calls, asking each other questions and such to get to know each other.

and sure enough, the next week, i found myself back in new jersey watching the brothers play. i assumed jack was going to be some sort of benchwarmer or something, but that didn't seem to be the case. despite my lack of hockey knowledge, i could tell the boy was good, and he had quite a fan base if the amount of women wearing his jersey meant anything. and i felt severely out of place, simply wearing a grey sweater and jeans, unlike everyone else in the stands, decked out in red.

after that, i found myself going to a couple more hockey games, for no particular reason. jack would try to explain the game over video calls and our occasional coffee meet ups, but i couldn't for the life of me wrap my head around it. why do they all get off the ice every five seconds? and what the hell is offsides?? jack always laughed at my confusion, telling me that i'd get it one day.

we spent a couple months thriving off of video chats and once-in-a-blue-moon hangouts, until i got a job as an editor for a local paper. i was good at editing, always having good grammar and an eye for design, but it wasn't my dream. despite it not being my dream, i needed a stable income, and fast. my mind was devoid of ideas, and it didn't seem like that would change any time soon.

plus, it helped that this stable income happened to be in new york city, putting me a lot closer to a certain someone. and, with me being closer, that certain someone would pop on by a lot more than before. and eventually, chinese takeout dinners turned into staying the night, which turned into coming up for the weekend, which turned into the line of friendship being crossed into something more.

and then, i made the dumbest mistake of my life.

i let him go.

now, i know what you must be thinking. he must have done something wrong, he must have cheated or neglected me or done something so completely unforgivable that i would just throw away the most amazing thing in my life. and i wish i was here to tell you that was the truth.

but it wasn't.

jack was nothing but a gentleman, and i was just a broken girl doing the only thing i knew how to do: leave. i like to tell myself that it was for my career, that i needed to write another book, that i wasn't fulfilled in my job and that i was putting myself first by doing this, but i was perfectly content with my life. i was an editor for a major publishing company, i started writing little happy poems about my mundane life with jack, and wanted nothing more. i had no reason to run away. i just woke up in his bed one day and realized that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and i couldn't accept that. i had gotten so used to leaving people that i assumed that they would leave me if i hadn't done so first, and i couldn't lose the one real thing i ever had.

so naturally, my self-destructive, self-sabotaging self let him go, the exact opposite of what i wanted.

and when i got back to my apartment after writing jack a confusing and half-assed letter, i cried. i cried and cried and cried, and i always wrote about characters crying until they couldn't anymore, but that day, i couldn't find the end to my tears. for hours tears would either slowly leak or violently pour from my eyes, and they never did end, not even when i passed out on my couch from exhaustion.

and after a week, i was expecting to pick myself up and start writing my next best seller, coping with my writing. but i sat there, and my florescent computer screen simply sat there, staring back at me. and when i left my apartment for a change of scenery, the blank pages of my notebook mocked me. i flipped through past works, all of them being little poems about jack, and the waterworks continued, right in the middle of a starbucks.

after a week and four days, i couldn't take it. i had to make things right, i had to at least see him. it always worked in the books, right? someone makes a huge mistake, they break up, they see each other again and realize they're both miserable without each other and then get back together and live happily ever after.

when i knocked on the door to jack's apartment, i was met with an unimpressed looking luke. at the sight of him, the waterworks started up again.

"you're an idiot, you know that?" i nodded furiously at this, sobs wrecking through my body. i couldn't see through the tears in my eyes, but i could tell the luke hadn't moved a muscle.

"he deserved better and you know that." i felt my soul being crushed. "i mean, a letter? seriously esther? and a half-assed one at that. i know damn well you don't have a degree in creative writing for that bullshit."

i opened my mouth to explain, but nothing came up. what would i say, that i was a broken person? cop out. that i did it to everyone? not much better. that i got scared? fucking coward.

"if you think that you deserve to see my brother, then i'll let you in." he told me, moving out of the way, door open wide. i just stood there, staring at him through teary eyes. my brain cheered, finally able to go in, but my feet wouldn't move.

my heart still clenched and ached, and with every thought of moving forward, into that apartment, it hurt more. jack didn't deserve this. after all the nights of him reading my poems about him and praising my work, after all the sweet things he'd say when i was down, after all the little acts of kindness he showed me, after all the love he poured into us, he didn't deserve to be broken by me. hurt people hurt people, the scholars had that right. he didn't deserve to be broken.

and so, i got ready to leave, again.

"i'm sorry." was all i said, turning around with heavy legs and a heavy heart. i heard luke let out a sigh as i walked away, closing the door behind him.

a couple of days went by and i found myself back at their apartment. i knew they wouldn't be there, they had an away game in anaheim the night before, and i knew from my time with jack that they would always spend the night in the city before coming back, especially after a win, a 5-0 win no less.

i stood there in front of their door, a small box in my hands, contemplating. jack didn't deserve this, but a selfish part of me needed this. i placed the box gingerly outside of their door and left the building. if the box was taken by some nosy neighbor, or thrown in the trash by some janitor, then it would be fate. it would be a sign to move on. but, there was a chance that jack and luke would come back to their apartment, and would pick up the box, and jack would recognize my handwriting. and, instead of throwing the box in the trash like any normal self-respecting person receiving a box from their shitty ex, he would take it to his room, and open it up to see my notebook, with a bookmark starting at the pages when i first started seeing him. and he would read the poems and maybe, just maybe, he'd see the note written on the bookmark to meet me at the park near his apartment, and maybe, just maybe, he'd be willing to hear me out.

i went to that park every single day for exactly one month and six days, always arriving by 1 pm, never late. and i would stay there until 4 pm, waiting.

on the 37th day, i was sitting there, editing, funnily enough, a sports column about the recent devils and islanders game. i watched it, absolutely terrible game it was, the islanders beating the devils for the first time in the season. our sports journalist, while passionate and very knowledgeable about seemingly every sport out there, had a knack for writing long, run-on sentences that reflected his rambling nature. as i sat there on the same park bench i had been sitting on for the previous 36 days, a figure stopped in front of me. i finished up the sentence i was working on before looking up.

and while i hate cliches, the wind was absolutely knocked out of my lungs.

"h-hey jack." i started, immediately putting away my work, giving him my full attention.

"hey esther." a shiver ran down my spine from him just saying my name. it had been so long, and while it lost its loving tone, i welcomed it with open arms. jack moved, taking the spot next to me, looking out at the trees in front of us. when it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything, i started the conversation.

"i see you read the notebook."

"i finished it three weeks ago." he replied, voice lacking its usual emotion. tears welled up in my eyes. three weeks.

"oh."

"i came here immediately after finishing it." i felt my eyes bulge out of their sockets at that. he continued, "i went to that bench over there and watched as you fidgeted in your spot, looking frantically at everyone who passed by. i watched the next day as you sat in the pouring rain with no umbrella. i sat over on that bench every day that i was here since reading your notebook."

a silence fell upon us, my mind reeling, trying to figure out what he was trying to say, from his emotionless face to the fact that he came.

"do you know how much it hurt? waking up to empty sheets and some half-assed note with the lamest excuses on earth?" i hadn't really paid mind to the tears rolling down my cheeks until he brought that up, sending me back to that morning, quickly scribbling out some gibberish before leaving the best part of my life behind.

"i was going to wait another month, y'know. to see if you were still gonna come here every day."

"so why didn't you?" i asked, sniffling intensely, trying to calm down my sobs.

"luke said i was absolutely miserable without you. coach told me i wasn't focused. my teammates pointed out that i barely left my apartment. the icing on the cake was when my mom started asking if you would be coming over to the lakehouse this summer. i realized, as pathetic as it seems, that i can't live without you."

my attempts at stopping my crying were thrown out the window at that. i could probably fill the hudson river with the amount of tears i had shed over the past two months.

"how can i make it up to you. please, please let me make it up to you." i begged, fully facing him, my hands angrily playing with the sleeves of my shirt because if i didn't, i would be reaching out to the man in front of me.

"never pull that shit again." he bargained, looking me dead in the eyes for the first time in months. and in that moment, i saw just how bad he was doing. sunken eyes with heavy bags, his skin dull, hair slightly unkempt under his hat.

"never again." i promised, putting out my pinky to him, something he would always do when he promised me to not get hurt in games. he let out a hoarse laugh, looking away from me, and when he looked back, i saw the tears brewing in his eyes. he took my pinky in his and held it there, between us.

"now, i'm not gonna just take you right back after all that. that was really shitty and i need some time to get over that. but, as i've found out, i can't really function without you. so maybe you could start with coming to my games again, and i could take you out for coffee next week."

"sounds perfect."

i accepted my life as an editor for the local newspaper, accepted that i probably wouldn't write another page-turning sell-out book, accepted that i was completely content with whatever happened to me, so long as jack was there with me.

and with that, my self-destructive, soul-crushing, heart-breaking tendencies reached their end.

#jack hughes #jack hughes x oc #new jersey devils #fanfic

[chaotic-aro-incarnate]

Collection Of My Disco Elysium Screenshots That I Like A Lot

#disco elysium #harry du bois #harrier du bois #somehow my harry went all off-putting and strange and apocalyptic on me #started as a sorry cop; became a cop of the apocalypse #I hear about all the other cop types a lot but I've never heard anyone mention being the cop of the apocalypse #are the majority of people not going the whole 'warning the world about the end times' route?

[reiding-writing]

i LOVE your angsts

you can write something about the reader and spencer being apart after a conflict, being childish and sarcastic towards each other afterwards, and then, one of the cases ends in an explosion and, or, fire in which one of the two is trapped and alone, and the other takes risks to save him

who knows, maybe one of the two in the hospital is still delirious and asking to marry the other? anyway, you choose

basically two idiots in love and proud who can't bear the thought of losing each other

thanks 🥺🫶🏻

commitment [ s.r ]

You love Spencer Reid more than anything in the world, but committing to someone for life was not something to be considered lightly. A life or death situation might speed up the decision process a little.

spencer reid x gn!reader || angst || 4.0k ll masterlist!!

WARNINGS: commitment issues, fire, major character injury, miscommunication, happy ending

a/n: happy 29th of february? is that something to be celebrated? anyway, kinda took this one on a rollercoaster ride, enjoy :)

Spencer Reid wanted a family.

He wanted to get married, have 2.5 kids and live in a house with two cars and a white picket fence.

But he didn’t just want that with anybody, he wanted that with you.

You weren’t sure.

You loved Spencer with your whole heart, you really did, but after your parents’ failed marriage and your negative experiences with romantic relationships in the past, the fact that you’d even been in a committed relationship with Spencer for the last four years was an achievement in itself.

You’d talked about it a few times, but you’d always come to opposite decisions. Spencer wanted to settle down with you, and you were afraid to do so.

Your most recent conversation on the subject ended less as a conversation and more as an argument.

“So you don’t really love me then?” You could see the betrayal in his eyes at you again shutting down the idea, his tone carrying more upsetness than accusation.

“No Spencer of course I love you what are you talking about?” You can feel yourself nearing tears at his question. He was quite literally the person you loved most in the world, and to have him shut down your feelings because you didn’t see eye to eye with him broke your heart.

You spent the next few days staying with Garcia.

You tried to not let your disagreement with Spencer influence your work, but the fact that you wouldn’t so much as spare a glance at each other during office hours tipped off the rest of the team about your situation immediately.

“So,” Morgan leaned his hip against the counter of the kitchenette as you fixed yourself a cup of coffee, neglecting Spencer’s mug on the shelf instead of making both cups at once like you’d usually do.

“So?” You raise an eyebrow at his incomplete sentence.

“What’s going on between you and pretty boy?”

You sigh before he even finishes the question. “It’s nothing for you to worry about,”

“Your lover’s quarrel is ruining the vibes, it is most definitely something for me to worry about,” You roll your eyes at his response. Trust Morgan to find the most unserious way to express his concern for the two of you.

Logically you knew it was because he wanted to tread lightly, but that didn’t make it any less eye-roll inducing.

“So,” He leans forwards a little. “What’s going on? Did you disagree on whether Star Trek or Star Wars was better or something?”

You give him a deadpan stare and he immediately surrenders, raising up his hands as he concedes.

“What else do you have to argue about? You guys are like the most boring couple I know,” Morgan shrugs nonchalantly, and you halt the stirring of your teaspoon in your drink.

Boring? You weren’t boring. Were you? Did Spencer think you were boring? Did he think your relationship was boring? Maybe he only wanted to tie the knot in the hope that it would ‘reignite the spark’ or whatever people said.

“Hey.” Morgan snapped his fingers in front of your face, effectively pulling you out of your internal spiral.

“Hm?”

“I asked if it was serious, Garcia told me you’ve been staying with her the last few days,”

Curse Garcia and Morgan’s no filter relationship.

“Everything’s fine, we both just need time to cool off,”

“You’re sure?”

You have to consciously suppress a sigh at his continued questioning. Morgan was great, but god did he push.

“Yes Morgan, everything’s fine,” You spoke with enough conviction that you managed to convince him of your truth, although whether you believed it yourself was another question.

“Good, because if you two ever broke up I’m pretty sure the whole team would fall apart,” His tone tells you his joking, as does his expression as he leaves you to your coffee, but your brain isn’t as kind as to just let the comment fly over your head, and you’re sent into another spiral as you make your way back over to your desk.

Do the whole team really think of your relationship with Spencer as a vital part of its inner workings? What if it really didn’t work out? What would happen then?

Would the whole team fall into chaos?

You didn’t want to break off your relationship with Spencer. But what if it did happen?

Your thoughts leak into your body language, your shoulders tense as you sit down and your eyes not quite focused on the papers on your desk.

It didn’t help that Spencer sat directly opposite you either. It was like the world was trying to rub your conflict in your face every time you saw his hair in your peripheral vision.

You could feel his eyes boring into the top of your head, but you knew he wouldn’t say anything. It was one of the faults in his character, and yours you suppose, because even if he did ask you what was wrong you’d probably blow him off anyway.

The tension between the two of you was enough for Emily and Morgan to share a glance across the bullpen to each other, although they didn’t have enough time to corner you into asking what was actually going on as Hotch called the team into the conference room.

The silent feud between the two of you continued into the meeting, sitting on opposite ends of the table like you were two negative magnets being forced away from each other by an insurmountable pressure.

It was a little silly you think, to be so removed from each other after a single argument, but when Spencer put his foot down about something, he held his ground under any circumstance.

And so the two of you were destined to lie in a stalemate, sat seething in silent frustration with each other until one of you eventually caved under the pressure.

It wasn’t going to happen.

It was another fault of the two of you. You were both too damn stubborn for your own good, and it was beginning to affect your ability to work together.

You were supposed to be two sides of the same coin. Two gears intertwined and seamlessly rolling off of each other in perfect unison. Instead, you couldn’t even decide on the importance of a half-burned diary found at the scene of the last scene you’d arrived at, the fourth building set ablaze in Fallon in the last five days.

“This guy is clearly dealing with marital struggles, that could be our trigger,”

Of course he had marital struggles, because you couldn’t escape your own issues even when you were two-thousand miles across the country.

“We don’t even know if that diary belongs to our unsub,” You sigh exasperatedly as you slump back in your chair.

“It was a grocery store. Who brings a diary to a grocery store unless it’s something extremely important to them? It has to belong to our unsub.”

“Spencer-”

“You know that I’m more likely to be right about this,”

You can’t help but scoff at his statement, discarding your coffee mug on the round table and causing small brown droplets to coat the surface of the wood from the force. “You’re really pulling the intelligence card? Seriously?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Spencer shrugs his shoulders with a furrowed expression. “My intelligence is what got me here and it’s telling me that this diary belongs to our unsub,”

“And my experience is telling me that you’re fixating on this goddamn diary instead of looking for things that could be actually useful to finding this guy because you want to feel sorry for yourself by living through his struggles.” You gesture exasperatedly to the book in his hands, becoming increasingly frustrated with Spencer’s attitude towards you.

He might be smart, but you had almost half a decade on him in terms of experience. He had zero right to speak to you like that mid-feud or not.

“You’re angry at me, I get it. Don’t let it cloud your judgement.” You push yourself up from the table with a scowl, leaving your chair pushed out as you exit the station with the door slamming shut behind you.

“You’re sure this is the right place?” Morgan furrows his eyebrows as you approach the house, clearly run-down and looking as though no-one had lived in it in several years.

“I’m sure,” Spencer gave a determined nod as he un-holstered his gun, following the team into the house to sweep it for the suspect.

Despite your argument about the importance of the diary, Spencer had continues to fixate on it completely, leading to a partial name that Garcia had managed to identify and ultimately the house you were now running into.

You feel under-appreciated sometimes. Hotch always ended up going with Spencer’s choices, experience didn’t matter. It was like he had a tattoo across his forehead that read ‘I’m always right’ and everyone else took it as law.

But you’re not going to disobey direct orders, even if you did want to throw all of Spencer’s favourite books into a filled bathtub and watch him mourn over the ruined pages.

“Clear!”

You sweep the house room by room, you, Hotch, and Emily in charge of the ground floor whilst Morgan and Spencer went upstairs.

It was a complete ghost house. There was no electricity, no running water, smashed windows and moulded wallpaper, the furniture looked decades old and above all it just smelled horrific, a mix of leaking waste pipes and faulty gas lines. Were you seriously supposed to believe someone was living here?

“All clear up here,” Morgan emerged at the top of the stairwell with a shrug. “We got nothing,”

“Of course we don’t,” You mutter the words to yourself with a roll of your eyes, silently confirming your own victory at the obvious lack of human presence in the house Spencer was so sure belonged to the unsub.

“Alright, regroup outside,” Hotch called up to the two, gaining a nod from Morgan as he went to retrieve Spencer and bring him down as you exited the building.

“Nothing?” JJ tilted her head slightly as the three of you emerged, met with Emily shaking her head with a slightly awkward expression as she met your gaze.

“Nope, gross, but nothing,”

“Gross is right, it smelled like shit in there-” You clear your throat into your elbow like you’d managed to infest your lungs from the smell.

“Where’s Spence and Morgan?” You shrug your shoulders at JJ’s question heading back to the SUV to grab a bottle of water.

“Knowing Reid he’ll be over-analysing something,” Emily chuckles slightly, patting JJ on the shoulder as she follows you past her. “Morgan’ll get bored soon enough,”

“Are we going or what?” You call out from where you’re leaning against the car, water bottle being waved around in your hand as you gesture your impatience.

“Morgan and Reid are-” Emily stops as she spots Morgan walking out of the front door. “—Reid is still inside,”

“Of course he is,” You grumble to yourself with a roll of your eyes.

“He’s refusing to leave until he’s found something,” Morgan shrugs as he reaches Hotch’s side. “He’s adamant that there’s something to be found in there,”

“God seriously?” You groan out your words as you rejoin the group. “It’s an abandoned shit hole, there’s nothing to be found—”

A loud crash from the house interrupts your complaint.

Loud crashes are never good.

Neither is the bright orange flicker of light you can see through the front door. Definitely not when you’re working an arson case and Spencer Reid is still inside the house.

It’s like all the hours of you pondering how best to make Spencer suffer for his actions completely disappear as soon as the flames are in sight.

You couldn’t be angry at Spencer if he was dead.

The way the wooden beams of the door frame collapsed under the heat really cemented that thought in your mind.

“Spencer—”

Your attempt at running inside is promptly stopped by an outstretched arm that collides against your waist, winding you slightly and causing your expression to turn from fear to anger at the person who’d interrupted your attempt to vacate Spencer from the building.

“What are you doing?!” You push Morgan’s arm away from you harshly as you attempt to bypass him, but you don’t even get two steps forward before his arm is again blocking you from running into the burning building. “Get off me!”

“You can’t just run into a fire-” You continue to struggle against Morgan’s grip as he pleads his case to you, causing his voice to strain from the exertion of trying to keep you in one place.

“Morgan if you don’t let me go right now I swear to god-” Morgan withstands your threats with his strength, and you’re becoming increasingly resentful at just how much effort he’d gone through to stay physically fit.

“The fire department are on their way-” JJ’s voice is soaked in concern as she speaks, both hands clenched tightly around her phone as she stares into the open door of the house and the yellow-orange light that is quickly enveloping anything visible inside it. “They’re four minutes out,”

“Four minutes isn’t fast enough-”

“Hey-” Morgan continues to struggle against your writhing, planting both of his hands firmly against your shoulders and shaking them slightly in attempt to get your attention. “He’s going to be fine.” The uncertainty in his gaze tells you the opposite.

By the time you hear the sirens of fire engines rounding the street-corner, you don’t have the mental energy to feel relieved. All you can do is stare into the raging inferno that encapsulates the entire ground floor of the house and pray desperately that it didn’t manage to climb up the stairs. You know you’re being too optimistic.

You barely compute the obvious when a stretcher is prepared in front of the entrance, only coming to when you hear a worried gasp emanate from Emily at your side as Spencer is laid down on it after being recovered from the house’s master bedroom, very clearly unconscious and less clearly still breathing.

“Breathing is shallow, pulse is weak, we need to get him on oxygen,” The EMTs converse between themselves as they rush the stretcher into the fire ambulance, leaving you and your team to stand idly on the sidelines as both the fire and Spencer are taken care of by the firefighters on the scene.

You pace the waiting room on your heels, the sharp contact of your feet on the marbled floor leaving small shock waves to shoot up your legs as you walk. You couldn’t just sit down, you weren’t going to relax in a chair whilst the love of your life was possibly dying of asphyxiation. You were worried, terrified, and you had to release that nervous energy somehow.

If Spencer was here right now you’re sure he’d reprimand you for your nervous habit, rattling on about how heel-striking is dangerous for the health of your legs as it compresses your entire weight into a single point that can have bad impacts on your bones. Thinking about it just makes you feel worse, making you pace more and ultimately creating a self-fulfilling cycle where the more you thought about what he’d say the worse your actions would get.

At least you were actually in the hospital waiting and not back in the station waiting for a call. God knows you’d be more of a burden to the rest of the team than a help right now.

“Visitors for… Spencer Reid?” The nurse checks the clipboard in her hands as she speaks, and the second you hear the first syllable of his name you’re diverting your pacing to walk straight up to the nurse’s side.

“He’s awake but dreary, and he’s refusing any medication to help with the pain in his esophagus,” The nurse explains his conditions to you as she leads you down the hallway, shrugging her shoulders slightly at the mention of his refusal of pain medication.

“He can’t take narcotics, do you have any substitutes? NSAIDs?”

The nurse nods slightly at your explanation, checking her clipboard once more as she stops you at a wooden door. “I’ll have a look and see what I can find,”

“Thank you,” You give her a small nod and a smile as she leaves you at the door, suddenly even more nervous than you were in the waiting room. Not only was Spencer now in recovery for smoke inhalation and minor burns, the last ‘conversation’ the two of you had was an argument. A stupid, petty argument because you were both stubborn assholes who couldn’t agree to disagree on anything.

What if he didn’t want to see you? You were probably the last person he wanted at his bedside right now after everything that’d happened. Maybe you shouldn’t go in and see him.

Your hand is already opening the door. Okay, well, too late to second guess things now.

“Hey Spencer…” Your voice is barely a whisper as you enter the room, door shutting seamlessly behind you as you walk towards his hospital bed, fingers ringing together as a work around to release all of the nervous tension in your body without bursting into tears. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I ate a campfire-”

His words are enough to break the small tension between you, and you laugh softly in a mix of relief and worry. At least he was alright enough to be able to speak properly. The burn on his arm looked pretty bad though.

“You look like you ate a campfire,” You approach his hospital bed slowly, taking a seat on the plastic chair at his side and gazing over him with an entirely pitiful look in your eyes.

“I’m okay…” It was like he could read your mind, then again your sure that most people would be able to see how distraught you were right now, but Spencer was always the first to notice, and he languishly reached his hand out to rest against your knee.

You started crying the minute his fingers made contact with your slacks.

“I’m so sorry-” It felt a little silly to be crying in front of someone who’d just been trapped in a burning building and was probably experiencing an insane amount of pain from the lack of medication, but emotions don’t always follow logical boundaries. “I’ve been so- horrible to you and you didn’t deserve it at all-”

You’re sure you look like an absolute mess by now, tears staining your cheeks from your crying, a blotchy complexion from your stress, wrinkled clothes and ruined hair from constantly messing with them to try and find a release for all of your anxiety, but the way Spencer looks at you would have you assuming you’d stepped right off a runway.

“You don’t have anything to apologise for,”

“But-”

“Nothing.” Spencer shakes his head to the best of his ability as he shuts down your rebuttal, and he shifts his hand upwards to lie over your two hands clasped in your lap. “I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you into something that you’re not ready for, that was my fault, and for that I’m the one who needs to be saying sorry,”

“No I get it-”

“I made you uncomfortable and upset and that was never my intention,” Spencer continues to cut off your attempts to speak, something he’d usually rather die than do to you - or anyone for that matter - but deemed a necessity to stop you from lumping all of the blame on yourself when you had done nothing more than establish a boundary. A boundary that Spencer didn’t respect.

“I love you, and I want to spend every waking hour I have in your presence, I want to sleep with you in my arms and wake with you by my side. I want to experience every up and down with you and keep you safe and loved at every instance,” Spencer gives your hand a small squeeze as he looks at you, your reflection in his eyes one of pure beauty and perfection. “I didn’t do that for you in our last disagreement, and I can only hope that you’ll forgive me and allow me to make up for that moving forward,”

Spencer’s fingers ghost over the back of your hand, pressing small circles into the dips between your fingers and gently massaging your skin. “I want to do nothing more than love you, and a piece of paper and a pair of rings won’t change that either way.”

You swear that you melt with every word that leaves the boy’s mouth, and if he wasn’t currently hospital bound you’d smother his face in kisses until he couldn’t breathe anymore.

In respect for his condition you turn you affections to his hand instead, holding it up to your face and pressing deft kisses against the curve of each of his knuckles, silent tears still sliding down your cheeks. Tears of a different trajectory this time, filled no longer with guilt and frustration and instead replaced with the realisation of just how much you mean to Spencer Reid.

“I love you so much,” Your lips brush the back of his hand as you speak, his fingers dampening with the lingering moisture of your tears as you hold his hand like it’s the only thing anchoring you to the earth. “So much.”

The smile that breaks out on Spencer’s face could cure any ailment in your mind within seconds. “I love you too,”

#spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds #criminal minds x reader #spencer reid angst #criminal minds angst #mgg #asks 🫶

[celestie0]

gojo satoru x reader | college au [18+]

kickoff ch.1 gojo satoru sent you a message

ᰔ pairing. college au - soccer player! gojo x film major! reader (f)

ᰔ summary. gojo satoru is the most popular guy on your college campus. he's tall, funny, hot, not to mention he's the most talented soccer forward the school has seen in years. but he's also a frat dude, which puts him in a world very different from your own, as he spends most of his nights partying & drinking while you spend most of yours working on your annoying film major assignments. but when he reaches out to you for a favor, you realize that helping him out might have something in it for you too.

ᰔ warnings/tags. 18+, fluff, angst, smut, college au, fraternities, sororities, partying, drinking/alcohol, mentions of weed, romance, jealousy, pining, slow burn, opposites to lovers, friends to lovers, she falls first he falls harder, gojo being an idiot

ᰔ chapter. 1/x (probably 12)

ᰔ words. 1.3k (short one to start off, but the rest are longer)

a/n. welcome to this pilot chapter! this was originally going to be a one-shot but i got way too carried away and ended up planning out a whole series. i hope you enjoy!

nav. ch1 :: ch2 :: ch3 :: ch4 :: ch5 :: ch6 :: ch7 :: ch8 :: ch9 :: ch10 (pending)

☾·̩͙꙳ moodboard no.1

♬.*ﾟplaylist

|| 2:13AM Gojo Satoru has requested to follow you

You blink the sleepiness in your eyes away as the harsh light of your phone hits your face. Somewhere in the middle of the crazy dream you were having, you heard your phone incessantly pinging and eventually woke you up to make you realize you forgot to turn the ringer off before going to sleep. Among all the spam email, iCloud storage warnings, and news headliners, there was one notification in particular that had you wondering if you were still dreaming.

“Ugh…y/n, please, turn your phone off,” you heard your roommate Mina mumble in the twin sized bed at the other end of the room as she shuffled her pillow above her head so that it covered both of her ears. You glance out the window of your shared apartment, peering at the pale moonlight, before your tired and heavy eyes travel back to your phone and press on the Instagram notification.

Suspecting this was maybe some prank account, you clicked on the small icon in your inbox that took you to a profile page. Gojo Satoru, Senior at University of Tokyo, Business Major, D1 Soccer #10, SAE. 12k followers, 172 following, 38 posts. 

Still thinking you’re dreaming, you accept the follow request and watch as the number on his following increases by one, now 173. Your thumb swipes up on your phone as you take in the square images of his profile. Pictures of him and his friends recreating memes…food that he’s eaten recently…frequent vacation posts in exotic countries…and a whole lot of what seemed to be professionally taken soccer photos of him striking goals and hitting balls with his head in mid air. You have put a lot of effort into your own Instagram photos (despite your modest 464 followers), mostly posting compilation slideshows of your favorite film photos that you’ve taken recently, yet somehow his feed looks much more inviting than yours.

You turn onto your side and continue to look through his photos. 624 comments, 373 comments, 958 comments. Many were from his friends trying to embarrass him, and many others were from girls that probably wanted him to notice them. You noticed he only really replied to comments from his friends. 

You knew who he was, of course. Gojo Satoru was one of the most, if not the most, popular guys on your college campus. When you got to college, you thought the whole “social hierarchy” thing would be over but it still seemed like there were certain groups of people that almost everyone knew about, "elite" individuals who other students could only dream of associating with. At UTokyo, the fraternities and sororities practically owned the place so of course Gojo was well-known since he was a member of the school’s most iconic frat, SAE. Not to mention, the school adored its soccer team–undefeated since 2012–and Gojo Satoru was the most talented center forward the division had seen in years. 

But as for why he requested to follow you, a film major that doesn’t play any sports and isn’t even in a sorority, well you’re just not sure. 

It’s then when you get yet another notification. 

“Oh my god, y/n, turn it off!” Mina mumbles into her mattress. You click the side button to turn off the ringer. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru sent you a message 

Your heart starts to beat a bit faster as you quickly slide to your DMs page. You notice three unread conversations from a few of your friends, probably from when they decided to send you their entire explore page, and then you see a little (1) next to your message requests box. When you open it, you see his icon in your inbox. It’s a simple picture of him in his soccer jersey, his smile wide as one of his team members who was mostly cropped out of the photo seemed to be putting him in a headlock. You see the first few words of the message.

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weir…

You’re about to click on it when you stop yourself. It was really late at night and you didn’t know if you wanted to entertain a conversation with this man you knew literally nothing about (at least on a personal level) and weren’t even sure why he was messaging you in the first place. Plus, he would see that you’ve read it and so you would feel anxious to respond. But there was no way to see his full message unless you opened it. Even though you considered this to be weirdly intimate since it was a message sent at two in the morning, you figured that was probably normal for the likes of people like Gojo Satoru, who probably were out drinking and partying until five in the morning every night, regardless of any 8AM lectures or not. 

But unfortunately, curiosity always kills the cat (that’s the expression, right?) and so you click on his message. 

|| 2:24AM Gojo Satoru: Hey, sorry if this is weird…I don’t think we’ve ever met before, but my buddy’s really into your roommate, and he’s tried to invite her out to our frat’s house parties but he’s had no luck. Think you could convince her to come this weekend? You’re welcome to come too, of course

You blink in surprise before rolling your eyes, not entirely sure why you were expecting any different. Maybe Mina wasn’t budging on his friend’s advances because she wants to be asked out on an actual date, and not to some house party. But you figured frat guys wouldn’t really understand that. Besides, how did he know that you were her roommate? You’re just about to type a response when you see three little dots in the left side corner, indicating he was typing, and you hold your breath.

|| 2:27AM Gojo Satoru: Here are the details

And then he sends you a post from what looks like his fraternity’s Instagram page. There’s an address, a time, the name of the DJ and girls get in free bolded at the top. You realize you’ve never even been invited to a fraternity’s house party until this very moment. 

You briefly consider not responding to him and just setting your phone back down on your nightstand, rolling over, and falling asleep. But you find your fingers moving on their own to type.

|| 2:31AM You: you’re messaging me to help your friend get with my roommate?

There’s an uncomfortable two minutes where there’s no response from him and for some reason your anxiety is through the roof. You remember the countless times you’ve heard people describe Gojo Satoru in passing: there’s just something about him that demands your attention. 

His notification pops up at the top of the Instagram app when you were scrolling through reels to distract yourself and you accidentally clicked on it too fast. 

|| 2:33AM Gojo Satoru: Uh, yeah? 

You sigh as you ponder the proposition. You don’t even know for sure why Mina wasn’t really responding to his friend’s advances, maybe the guy was a creep or just not her type. And even if she was somewhat interested in him, she’s already refused to go to any of their frat’s house parties, so how would you be able to persuade her? 

You finally convince yourself you’ve had enough of Gojo’s messages for the night and you’ll choose whether or not you want to revisit the topic again in the morning, until another message flashes across your screen.

|| 2:38AM Gojo Satoru: What can I do to get you to convince her to come this weekend?

You bite down on your lip at his question, and an idea flashes through your mind.

|| 2:40AM You: i’ll find a way to convince her. my terms and conditions will come later

He responds in a second.

|| 2:40AM Gojo Satoru: Deal 

a/n. thank you for reading! i also post this story over on AO3, if you're more into that format, but i just wanted to start posting over here on tumblr too. hope to see you in the next one!

➸ take me to chapter two!

#anime #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x reader #gojo smut #jjk gojo #geto suguru #nanami kento #choso kamo #toji fushiguro #yuji itadori #aoi toudou #sukuna ryomen #yaga masamichi #alternate universe #college #college au #soccer #sports au #fraternity #sorority #tw drinking #partying #romance #smut #fluff #angst #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jjk smut #series

[miguel-owhora]

Something like one day Miguel assigns you some task and in the process you encounter a variation of his and you completely forget about your mission, then Miguel has to go look for you because enough time has passed, only to find you half unconscious and very stupid, with clear signs that another Miguel fucked you.

I was actually hooked on your idea idk idk

TYPE — drabble

SYNOPSIS — what anon said

WARNINGS — 18+ , cheating but is it really cheating if it's a variant of your husband , cunnilingus , squirting , implied multiple orgasms/milking

FEM-ALIGNED READERS AND MINORS DNF, YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.

COMMENTS AND REBLOGS ARE HEAVILY APPRECIATED.

TAGS — @sweetcorpse , @tophamhat-kyo , @villainousdelicacy , @realitylemon , @gayaristocrat , @gaynesspersonified

MORE — this idea literally has me foaming and slamming inside my cage

This version of your home world isn't unusual. It's literally a couple years from '99, a couple years back into the past. Nothing unusual, nothing uncommon from your current year back in your original timeline. Swinging around your city is nice, the sky dark with the city lights polluting the night sky, preventing you from seeing the stars - that is, you never really did see them, unless if you went to the moon station. But that was only ever a privilege you got once you were older.

You spent majority of your youth in the underground part of Nueva York, living in the dark with only the city lights as the sun. You only ever stepped out whenever you wanted to rebel and when you went to college, and only ever moved out of the underworld - the name many called the underground of NY - when you got with Miguel. Bless his heart, as much as you adored your husband and how many years you've been living on the nicer side of NY - that is in looks, but just barely - you would always favor the underworld. You found that despite the reputation it earned, the people were always more real and down to earth than the people living overhead.

You shook yourself out of your thoughts and just barely swerved out of the way before you hit a pole. You swung yourself up and landed on top of a skyscraper of a building, landing in what many would dub the classic spider pose. You peered over the edge of the building, overlooking the city in all its glory. Nueva York, as a whole, no matter how corny you would sound right now, would forever hold a special place in your heart. The people, the food, the diverse mixture of culture and background - that's what made Nueva York, Nueva York: just a clusterfuck of everyone and everything.

After a solid couple seconds of surveying everything you raised your hand to look at your goober - despite what Miguel tried to get everyone to say, it was a goober at the end of the day, a damn watch if you want to be simple about it - and began to type in it. You read over the mission Miguel gave you, just a simple 'catch an anomaly and go home' type of mission It wasn't one of those big bad villains, just some guy. Didn't even have a name.

You snorted to yourself as you lowered your arm and stretched, grunting as one or two of your bones popped pleasantly, blood flooding back to wherever it needed to go.

"I didn't know we had a Spider-Man."

The sound of Miguel's voice nearly has you falling off the building, and hadn't it been for your ability to stick to surfaces, you would've been a splat of flesh on the floor. You whipped around, startled, and found yourself looking at your husband.

...Future husband, as this Miguel isn't - first of all - your Miguel and younger than the early thirties man you knew and love. But it was still technically your husband. Technically. Unless if this was one of those world's where you didn't go overhead and stayed in the underworld, or something along those lies, somewhere where you never met Miguel.

This Miguel of Earth-547, Miguel-547, was younger than your Miguel, a bit more youthful, but no less handsome. Perhaps in his twenties, with the telltale signs of a lack of sleep on the heavy eyebags underneath his dark eyes, perhaps from studying so much. The thought has you almost snorting but you caught yourself as you stepped down from the railing of the building, looking over at Miguel with a slight tilt of your head.

"You don't. Not yet, at least." You replied, eyeing him with keen interest, mission forgotten.

Miguel raises an eyebrow, looking unimpressed. You shake your head, snorting in amusement. He's Miguel, he's your husband, just like when he was younger, back when you first met him, back when you first roomied with him against your will.

"Who are you?" Miguel asks, and you can see the regret written across his face. This time, it makes you laugh, both at his face and at the question.

"That's.. that's stupid. Nevermind." Miguel mutters, face darkening in embarrassment as he lightly pouted - frowned, whatever, he has the same face for both feelings - and looked away. It's such a Miguel thing to do that you choke and cough, laughing, and wiping away tears that never meet your fingers, not with your mask covering your face.

"I'd tell you my name but..." You rolled your shoulders, placing your hands on your waist. "I think Miguel would get mad at me for revealing my identity, even if it's just my name. I don't want to mess with any canon event. You know how it is."

"I don't." Miguel replied, glancing back at you with a confused expression. "And Miguel? That's.. that's my name. I'm guessing you mean somebody else? And canon ev- what the shock are you even talking about?"

Oh the irony, you thought to yourself. "Something like that, sure, and it's a long story."

Miguel pursed his lips and gave you a look. You grinned behind your mask, the lenses to your mask squinting at him.

"But I can offer you something better."

This got Miguel's attention and you chuckled, still grinning. Gotcha.

Which is how you ended up in Miguel's dorm room, stuffed between his legs and eating at his pussy. His legs hold you firmly between strong thighs, keeping you trapped and stuffing your face into pussy - not that you minded of course. It's your favorite past time, and why would you deny yourself the opportunity to eat your man's cunt like it's your last meal? You'd be a fool not to.

Miguel's voice is breathless and whimpery, a hand holding the back of your face as he shamelessly grinded against your mouth. He arched his back and squeezed his thighs when your mouth attached to his swollen cock, sucking on the sensitive nub. Your tongue dipped into his hole as you felt him tremble and moan, incomprehensible words of praise and encouragement tumbling from his mouth as he came inside your mouth.

He tried to push you away once his climax passed over, but you didn't budge, merely using your enhanced strength to grab onto his thighs and gently push them down. The position made him even more open and gave you even more access to the sweet, delicious slick that poured out of him, which you didn't dare let a spare a single drop and eagerly slurped up.

"Hah - ca- shock! - cálmate, pinche perro!" Miguel moaned, his thighs tensed and twitching as he danced between pushing your head away and humping into your mouth. He moved when you slipped into two fingers and began to move them, thrusting them in and out of his pussy with a certain expertise that came with someone who's done this before, and sucked on his cock.

Whatever you did, however you learned it, was enough to rip an unexpected orgasm from Miguel that had no buildup and caught him off guard. Even moreso when he felt liquid shoot from his pussy and he went unbelievably warm, but shock, if it didn't make him stomach flutter. His cheeks darkened when he heard you obscenely slurp, drinking whatever liquid he squirted out.

"What - what the shock was that?!" Miguel breathed out after you finally pulled away with a pop. Miguel felt something hot and possessive curl in his stomach when he saw the bottom half of your face - the only thing you dared to show him, the upper part of your face was hidden by the mask you wore - was dripping wet with his fluids. He watched as you licked your lips; and Miguel swallowed.

"You squirted," You said calmly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. You pulled your fingers away from his pussy and plopped them into your mouth, cleaning them of whatever slick coated it, and Miguel stared with wide eyes.

He slowly blinked and looked away, beyond flustered.

"I never knew I could do that." Miguel muttered, panting.

"Well now you do, use it wisely." You replied, amused, lips curled into a teasing grin. Miguel rolled his eyes, but not unkindly. Your eyes flickered from his face down to the rest of his body and over to the lower half. His pussy was slick and swollen, the dark hair neatly trimmed, looking and smelling and tasting absolutely delicious. That never did change about him, did it? You could spend all eternity between his legs, eagerly doting on his cunt.

You snapped out of your thoughts with a little grunt as Miguel suddenly hauled you off the ground and onto his bed, flat on your back. The lenses of your mask widened and your mouth went dry when Miguel swung himself over your lap, straddling you. Your hands instinctively fell onto his waist, so small and holdable, and nervously giggled, licking your lips that suddenly felt too dry.

"What's - what's all this about?" You asked, flustered. Miguel seemed to pick up on this and smiled, a little dangerous, a little fond. He slowly rolled his hips down, eyes gleaming when you softly moaned, your cock, hard in your suit, eagerly responding to some stimulation.

"Just a little treat. You ate me out..." Miguel's hand reached down to grab a hold of your cock, rubbing it through the material of your spandex. "...So I'll let you hit."

"Fuck." You whispered, breathless. Miguel just chuckled, eyes dark and smile dangerous in the way that made you fall in love all over again.

-

"Have you checked on [Name], Miguel?"

The sound of his AI's voice is enough to rip Miguel's attention from the holograms in front of him. His eyes feel dry as he gives a couple of blinks, vision straining from having stared at screens for so long. It takes a couple of heartbeats before Miguel could process Lyla's question and gave her a questioning look as she hovered near him.

"What?" He asked, intelligently, and totally not in a dumb way.

Lyla rolled her eyes, exasperated. "[Name]? Your husband? The one you sent on a mission?"

It was Miguel's turn to roll his eyes. "I know the name of my husband. Why are you asking if I checked up on him? He's reliable, he'll get the job done."

Lyla smirked in the way that told Miguel she knew something he didn't and could already feel his heart dropping to his stomach.

"What's wrong?" Miguel demanded, immediately on alert, his mind beginning to creep with different scenarios that made him stomach twist uncomfortablely.

"Nothing's wrong. He's fine, he's not hurt." Lyla paused and gave him a look over her heartshaped glasses. "He's just neglecting his duties for a variant."

Miguel processed the words and paused, eyebrow raising. "Variant?"

Lyla just smirked even wider, glitching and moving somewhere else, teasing. A set of coordinates appeared on Miguel's watch.

"Why don't you check it out?" Lyla chuckled, stuffing her hands into her pockets. "But just go alone, alright?"

Miguel didn't know if he wanted to strangle Lyla or himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to know.

He took a deep breath and rubbed his temple. He could already feel the telltale sign of a migraine appearing, and no, his lack of sleep did NOT contribute to it.

"Lyla, open a portal." He eventually sighed out, dragging a hand over his face to get rid of any drowsiness.

"You got it, boss."

The orange and colorful portal appeared in front of Miguel, lighting up his dark lab in a warm color, changing the texture of the area around it. Miguel took a moment to appreciate it, a moment to gather himself, before throwing himself in the portal.

He knew the world he sent you to was one of your guy's timelines. Just a couple years back into the past, nothing crazy. The whole mission was a simple one, even a newbie could've done it. He knew you could handle more, obviously, but the thought of you getting hurt, of losing you, that frightened Miguel. It scared him. And while he knew you'd get tired of basic missions like the one he assigned you, he wouldn't budge. Well, at least not now.

But he didn't think he'd end up in a rather familiar dormroom. Specifically, his old dorm room, in his bedroom. Familiar posters line the walls, little figurines scattered around, his old desk lined next to his bed and scattered with messy shit. It's nostalgic, and for a second, Miguel imagines himself as his fresh out of high school guy barely entering his college years.

What's out of place, however, is the body of his husband laying on his bed. He's not dead, thankfully, Miguel's eyes catching sight of the slow rise and fall of his chest, and if anything, seems to be half out of it.

His mask is pulled halfway up, from his nose and down being the only thing revealed. His lips are slick and bit, light bruises on his jaw. The pants of his spandex are pulled down far enough to reveal his cock, which lays heavy and flaccid on his stomach, and yet...

Miguel's cheeks darkened and his lips pursed when he saw the dried evidence of cum on your belly and cock. Miguel pixelated his mask away, sighing out of exasperation, even if his core squirmed in a familiar way.

Miguel walked the short steps towards his bed and hovered over you, taking in your frazzled and obviously worn out appearance. Miguel reached down and gently grasped your jaw, tilting your head to get a better look at you.

He was surprised when you softly groaned, squirming as you seemed to awake up.

"Miguel?" You slurred out, and Miguel then realized his variant must've had his time with you.

"[Name,] ready to head back home?" Miguel questioned, his voice quiet but a faint hint of affection tinting his words. Perhaps he should be jealous that a variant got to his husband, but he can't find it in himself. If anything, it was... kind of hot. But that was another thing for another time.

"Mm? Home.... wait-" You stirred a little, becoming just the slightest bit alert. "Which dimension?"

Miguel made a little exasperated face even if you couldn't see. "928."

You went slack, pleased with the answer. "Mkay, le's go h'me..." You slurred before promptly knocking yourself out. Miguel stared before slowly setting your head down. He gently pulled your mask down and stuffed yourself back into your spandex before scooping you up.

"Lyla-" He began but was caught off by the AI, who glitched into existent.

"He looks kind of cute. You're, like, his knight in shining armor - or would it be spider in shining armor?" Lyla mused as she took a couple mixtures of the husbands. Miguel didn't dignify her with a response as a portal opened up, illuminating the room in a warm colorful glow. Then, a thought crossed his mind and he paused.

"Did he even finish his mission?" Miguel asked Lyla, even if he knew the answer.

"Absolutely not." Lyla grinned.

Miguel took a deep breath but didn't get angry - he never did get angry with you, now did he?

"Send someone to finish it." Miguel asked as he slipped through the portal, his AI glitching out of air. Missions he damned, he had his own mission now: giving you the aftercare his variant failed to do, which, in his opinion, made him the best variant out there.

all rights reserved © miguel-owhora

#inbox.txt #miguel.txt #miguel o'hara x male reader #miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel ohara #miguel ohara x male reader #miguel ohara x reader #atsv miguel #miguel x reader #miguel spiderman #miguel spiderverse #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara x y/n #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel o'hara smut #miguel ohara smut #miguel o'hara spiderverse #miguel ohara spiderman #x male reader

[samkerrworshipper]

long distance | mapi leon x reader x ingrid engen

inspired by a prompt i got a while ago asking for a touch starved and anxious reader who’s been away from mapi and ingrid for a while and needs a reminder just how much the love her

no warnings just fluff n angst

There were a lot of pros of being a professional athlete. There were also a lot of negatives. Travelling fits into both categories, a lot of people would argue that travelling as a part of your job is awesome, especially when you're getting paid to. You agreed, travelling across the world to play soccer was pretty fucking awesome, getting to experience new cultures and different cuisine was one of your favourite parts of your job.

But being in a different country to your girlfriend for half of the year was pretty hard. Especially when you were a whole ocean away from each other.

Normally, you managed just fine, sure it messed with you a little bit but you managed, normally you’d get to see them every month or so with international breaks and weekends off, but it had been two months since you’d seen your other halves, and it had been starting to get to you.

A month was typically your threshold, so a two month stretch was a lot for you, especially with the busy Arsenal schedule that had you playing sometimes two games a week and training every other day you were being laid out thin, and it was starting to get to you. You started to get needy in the absence of Mapi and Ingrid, a weird mixture of distanced but also uncharacteristically clingy. You were grumpy, your typically never ending patience finding the end of its fuse.

Specifically you wouldn’t let Kim or Katie out of your sight, constantly attached at the hip to your teammates. You were aware it was annoying, and particularly problematic when you were a mixture of tired, hungry and touch deprived, that was when you were at your crabbiest.

You suspected someone had told on you, considering the rather lengthy text messages you’d been receiving from both Ingrid and Mapi expressing their worries about you, and letting you know that it was okay to feel a bit alone and that if you ever needed anything they were there. Not to say that you didn’t already know that, you trusted your girlfriends more than anybody, but it seemed that the longer you were away from them the more you seemed to feel like you were a burden to your girlfriends.

It was really fucking hard being the one who was always away, because you felt like you were always compensating for lost time. Mapi and Ingrid were always together, whereas you didn’t have that, you didn’t have the connection that they had on a daily basis, so every time you returned home to Barca, you felt like you had to strengthen that bond, that you had to work harder to make up for the lost time.

When the time finally did come around where there was an International break period you were a mixture of ecstatic and anxious. The final week in England had been a major struggle for you, to the point where Katie had to stay the week at your apartment because everyone was worried about you. You weren’t sleeping, or really taking care of yourself, too consumed by the ticking down days that were slowly getting you closer to the day of seeing your significant others.

You’d been dodging their calls as much as you could, you weren’t quite sure why but everything seemed harder when you were away from them, and seeing their faces was just the cherry on top.

It’s like when you get in the shower and you think the water is too hot but for some reason you don’t feel it. You just see the steam rising from your red skin and subconsciously you realise that it’s hurting you more to look at, so you take your eyes away and focus on the steam on the window and just go about your shower like nothings wrong.

Or at least that was what it felt like for you, like the more you saw and thought about Ingrid being together the more it actually hurt you, so you pushed it away for as long as your body could manage it.

When the day ticked over for Kim to take you to Heathrow you were at the end of your manageable threshold. You were tired and so deprived of everything that your whole life felt like an anxiously numb cloud that you were slowly drifting away on. Kim tried to talk to you, she even walked through the security with you and took you all the way to the gate like a six year old, you didn’t have to in you to protest and you got the vibe that if you did you would just end up with a really long and intricate lecture from Kim, which you couldn’t be bothered with, you were tired enough as it was.

You were just glad that the flights to Barcelona weren’t too long, so you could put on whatever shitty movie that had just come out and sit back and relax and ignore the fact that you were three hours away from being face to face with your girlfriends.

All you wanted to do was get there and makeup for lost time, go out to dinner, or do something that was the norm. You needed something normal, something just to make you feel like you weren’t a burden or a problem for your lovers.

When the plane did touch down you felt a surge of anxiety course through your veins, your body was too tired to even really feel it though, you could feel yourself forcing your body through the motions, picking up your bag from the luggage claim and the walking out into the Barca sun, trying to find a cab to take you to Ingrid and Mapi’s apartment.

You knew you could have asked them to pick you up from the airport, but you felt so wrong in doing so, like it was even more trouble to ask them to go out of their way to come and collect you. So you sat in the back of an uber, your knee anxiously jumping up and down as the car slowly winded through the different Barcelona streets, with every single kilometre driven slowly reeling you in closer to your final destination.

You’d never missed anybody more in your life than you had them. When you were away, there was an empty, Mapi and Ingrid shaped hole in your heart. Nothing or nobody would ever come close to filling it, and when you were away you were certain that it might never feel whole again. You felt like you were going to be sick, like everything was riding on you being okay and this interaction being okay. What if they thought you’d changed? Two months was a long time, and sure, the three of you had been dating for nearly two years, but that didn’t make it any easier. Your hands were absentmindedly toying with the rings on your fingers, silently twisting them as you pondered what your next interaction was doing to look like.

You were so busy thinking and playing with your rings that you didn’t even realise the car had pulled up to the front of the complex, until the uber driver was turning back to look at you and signalling for you to leave his car, so you did, you picked up your bag and your stomach, which you felt was about to fall out of your mouth and walked forwards into the lobby of the apartments and straight towards the elevator. You were genuinely worried about throwing up your stomach, it felt like all of your internal organs were crammed in your throat and it was seriously affecting your brain's ability to think and your ability to breathe.

You managed to make your way to the doorstep of the apartment, and managed to raise your fist high enough to knock on the door. You had a key, but you didn’t want to break in, not without warning.

You waited a few seconds, before you were rewarded with the sight of Mapi opening the door, her eyebrows shooting up as soon as she realised that you were standing in front of her.

“Princesse, come in!”

Mapi’s face lit up immediately, and it did wonders in easing your stomach and easing up the deep frown that had become so familiar to your face recently.

You allowed Mapi to usher you into the apartment, into the kitchen where Ingrid was sitting, her eyes lighting up similarly to Mapi’s when she noticed who had entered the apartment.

“Elskling! You’re here?”

You’d thought that you’d texted one of the women to let them know about your flights, but you weren’t sure, in hindsight you probably should have looked into that.

“Yeah I’m here, sorry if I’m disturbing anything, I thought I texted one of you.”

Ingrid stood up from her spot sitting at the island bench, a bright smile on her face as she got closer to you.

“Not at all, we were just about to head out and get lunch and maybe go to the beach for some recovery, but spending the rest of the day with you sounds like a pretty good plan to me, Maria min?”

You felt your throat close up, you were stepping on their plans, something that you most definitely didn’t want to do.

“If you had plans then we can do them, I’ve had a coffee so I’m feeling great and i don’t want to ruin your plans.”

Ingrid just shook her head at you.

“Nonsense, we’ll stay in for the day.”

It sat wrong with you, knowing that you were potentially wrecking their planned day.

“No, I seriously don’t want to wreck any plans, I feel up to it.”

Ingrid’s big smile turned into a little frown, as she finally broke the barrier between the three of you, her hand reaching out to your flustered face and brushing a piece of hair out of your eyes.

“Elskling, in the nicest way possible, you look wrecked, how about we get into some pjs and hop into bed? You look like you're due to catch up on some sleep.”

There was little fight left in your body to disagree with Ingrid, the Norwegians' deep frown of concern working wonders at bringing down your barriers.

“Ingrid I feel fine, I seriously don’t want to ruin your guys’ plans or be a burden, let’s just do whatever y’all had planned, I feel fine.”

Ingrid let go of a deep exhale, her lungs deflating as she looked you up and down, Mapi mirroring her concerned look from behind you.

“Bebita, Kim told us that you haven’t been sleeping, that you’ve been struggling, let’s just go to bed, yeah?”

You noticed the way that Ingrid’s hand snaked it’s way down from your face to your waist, pulling your body closer to her own, craving the contact that she was providing, and the skin on skin slowly pulling the refusal out from your body. You felt yourself flinch away from Ingrid’s touch slightly, your body so shocked by the unfamiliar contact.

“Baby?”

You could hear the hesitance in Ingrid’s voice.

“I’m sorry, fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m just not used to this, it’s been a long time, I forgot what it felt like to be in your arms.”

As soon as the words were leaving your mouth Ingrid’s arms secured around you tightly, like she was never going to let go. You could feel tears pooling in your eyes, the strength that you’d been holding up for so long just by the feeling of Ingrid’s thumb massaging against your hip bone.

“Never apologise Elskling, let’s get you to bed, hm?”

You didn’t even try to protest as Ingrid led you towards the bedroom, Mapi already in the bed waiting for you. Ingrid helped you onto the bed, before handing you over into Mapi’s arms, your body falling limp against hers as it absorbed the touch it had been desperate for.

“Hiya hermosa, it’s okay, we’ve got you, you're safe here.”

You felt the pooled up tears start to fall down your face, the warm water leaking down your face like a dripping faucet, steadily creating a little reservoir of water at the base of your chin.

“Oh bebita, it’s okay, I’ve got you, I’m here, what’s wrong?”

For you it felt like the whole world was wrong, like it was upside down and topsy turvy.

“You guys just love me too much, I’m so much trouble and you never get to see me and every time I am here I’m tired and a burden.”

Your speech was like word vomit, all of your insecurities just coming out in one go.

“Oh elskling, you’re not trouble at all. There is nothing Ingrid and I would rather do than sit around and look after you. God knows you need it after being in London for so long, you should have told us you were struggling, we would have come and visited you, even if it was just for a day. It’s human for you to need this, to need us. We love you whether you're tired or not, we couldn’t care less if our time together is spent going out or sitting in bed all day, as long as it’s with you elskling then that’s what matters the most.”

Mapi’s words only spurred your tears on, sending them ricocheting down your face.

“Oh bebita, it’s okay, Ingrid and I are here now, you're back where you should be.”

Mapi’s arms tightened around your body, bringing your head into her chest. Ingrid slid into the bed beside the two of you, a drink bottle and some paracetamol.

“Hey bebita, can you just drink some of this for me before you rest please, we don’t want you getting dehydrated.”

You didn’t want to, but you also didn’t have the energy to push it, so you took the bottle from Ingrid and took a tentative sip.

“More please elskling, at least a few more sips.”

You pulled your head from Mapi’s head, taking the offered pain relief and downing it with the sips that you took from the bottle. After downing a decent amount of the fluids you handed the bottle back to Ingrid, who placed it down on the bedside table before wrapping her own arms around you and embracing both Mapi and yourself.

You felt so safe with them, so secure, like every single insecurity or problem that you’d been dealing with in the last two months didn’t matter now, because you were in their arms, you were with them.

As you slowly drifted off to sleep you felt more at peace then you ever had, or more at peace then you’d ever felt in London, for whatever reason, when you were with the Spaniard and Norwegian every single external noise just went quiet, the world was peaceful, and they were the reason why.

Your happiness, your positive feelings all revolved around them, they were the sun and you were earth, just orbiting them and bathing in whatever sunlight that you could find.

#woso #woso community #mapi leon x reader #mapi leon #mapi león #ingrid engen #mapi leon x ingrid engen #barca femeni #barca #mapi leon x reader x ingrid engen #little bit of fluff #love angst

[imagine--if]

hey! i hope your doing well, i would love to see anything fluffy for mike (headcanons, blurbs, whatever you feel like suits it most!) - he deserves the whole world and sm more to me 😭

A/N: I get youuuu, hope you enjoy 😁 started off with the relationship hcs but let me know if you wanna see anything more specific!!

Warnings: FNAF movie spoilers, mentions of violence

⋆✮ Dating Mike Schmidt Includes: ✮⋆

➳ Mike's been through a hell of a lot ever since his little brother got kidnapped, so I'm seeing major protectiveness and sometimes even clinginess involved from him when you end up dating because 😭 guy's been through stuff and he's not letting anyone else he's close to get hurt

➳ To be honest, at first he's pretty closed-off with people, vulnerable with a tough exterior, so if you meet him in some scenario where you're tied up with the Freddy's murders and job, he'll try to be distant and professional and all... ending up failing 🙃

➳ Eventually you start. talking more about personal things, hobbies your lives, and he'll mention his sister Abby and having to take the job because he needs the money and is in the middle of the custody situation with his sister. He's got a lot going on and the trauma of what happened all those years ago still wringing at his guilt, so being able to talk with someone who doesn't judge in a relaxed place is a nice change for him having to be on guard all the time.

➳ When Mike befriends you, which is what happens first, he's got your back. If you need someone to vent to or hang out with or whatever, he'll do whatever he can to help, and when it comes to you being in a sticky situation or someone trying to hurt you or play you, he always seems to realise and is in no way afraid of confrontation to get them to back off.

➳ Like if William tries sizing you up a bit... and Mike gets annoyed with that cool, defensive glare as he asks if he needs anything (I've got to make an imagine of this nowwww). I think Mike would only realise that he's actually jealous if you teased about it, or if he really loses his temper with someone that's not leaving you alone or something. Then it really nags at him and makes him think about actually liking you as more than a friend, and then that initial reluctance because everyone he gets close to seems to have something bad happen to them, like it's a curse. At the end of the day, he just wants you to be safe.

➳ It would take something big for Mike to confess to you, unless you take the first step (aka Abby begging you to tell him you like him too because she's getting bored of him not concentrating on what she's talking to him about or the conversation somehow curving to you and the stuff you're into). Maybe you're attacked at Freddy's and you're all in on the crisis together when Mike stands firmly in front of you when William reveals himself, or he shoves you out the way so you won't get hurt, ultimately jumping in front of the threat without a worry of him getting hit instead. It's then that he realises how much he needs you in his life, how he needs you alive because you add some joy to it that he hasn't felt in all these years, a change from the darkness that his head's stuck in.

➳ It all comes out of him in a rush as he looks you up and down with wild eyes and a firm grip, asking if you're alright and saying in a rush that "you're one of the most important people in the world to me, and I don't know what I'd do if you got hurt... I- I couldn't live with myself, okay?!"

➳ Okayyy Mike, just kiss them 😏

➳ After you fight Afton together and get Vanessa looked after, you can finally breathe and properly start dating, which includes that familiar protectiveness and slight clinginess... and also being best friends with his little sister, which you 100% would be. You'd spend time drawing or chatting or playing random games while Mike was out working, eliminating the need for a babysitter because you're the perfect fit and get along with her great. And when he is home, you do a lot of stuff together, like a mini family, and there's finally that security and stability in that life she needed.

➳ I feel like Abby would find it hilarious to tell you all the sappy things Mike says about you on the rare occasions where you're not around, ending in Mike's cheeks flushing beet red and him picking her up and whirling her around playfully until she's in fits of laughter. "I heard Mike say that he found another reason to keep going when he realised he was in love wi- hey!!"

➳ Mike would be a bit clingy, again because of what happened with Garret; Mike being distracted for one moment and then blaming himself for the rest of his life because it was that moment where his brother was taken and killed. So if you are out, on a date or just around, this guy will not leave your side. He's the kind of person to text you again and again if you don't respond to the first message, and it's kind of cute how much he worries, but then he doesn't need to, and every now and then he'll need your reassurance that you guys are safe and that you won't leave him, which stills ends with him burying his face in your neck for a long tight hug for a while.

➳ MIKE'S A BIG HUGGER. CHANGE MY MIND.

➳ Whether you're watching a movie with him and Abby, or you're out on a date or sleeping or whatever, Mike will always have some contact with you if you've told him you're okay with it: fingers linked under the table, pressed into his side while you're watching TV (with an affectionate forehead kiss every five minutes 🥺) or being half crushed to death while you're trying to sleep when he rolls onto you and traps you under his leg... good luck if you need to go to the bathroom. Chances are he'll end up trailing after you with mumbled protests.

➳ That protectiveness always kicks in when someone looks at you for too long, or in a way that he doesn't like the look of, or if you're obviously uncomfortable with. If you're quick, you can just convince him to walk away and you two go somewhere else, because Mike will end up getting annoyed and giving the guy a line to get him to make them go away. If he's not careful, he might end up getting in a fight again, but he'll really try not to when you tell him off for it and promise him that things are okay and you're not going anywhere.

➳ You and Abby are basically Mike's world, after all that's happened, there are only really two people left that he truly cares for and would do anything for. Once you're in a relationship with him, he'll do everything he can to make sure you're safe and won't have to go through anything he had to. If ever you're upset, he'll listen for hours with no judgement and major support, whatever mood you're in somehow rubbing off on him. Mike will admit his feelings in a rush, and when he does, he's not afraid to tell you that he loves you whenever you need to hear it, or whenever he wants to say it and wants you to be reminded. It's something that you can never doubt.

#mike schmidt x reader #mike schmidt imagine #josh hutcherson x reader #mike schmidt #mike schmidt fnaf #steve raglan #fnaf mike #vanessa afton #abby schmidt #william afton #mike schmidt x you #michael schmidt #fnaf movie 2023 #fnaf movie #fnaf film #fnaf 2023 #josh hutcherson #five nights at freddys movie #josh hutcherson gifs #josh hutcherson imagine #fnaf fanfic #fnaf x reader #five nights at freddys #micheal schmidt #fnaf spoilers #five nights at freddy's #fnaf fandom #fnaf #fnaf michael afton #michael afton

[ohtobeleah]

California Fornication //

One — ‘That was Jake’

Summary: When the man you’d been seeing turned out to have a wife, your world came crashing down around you. While you tried your best to move onwards and upwards, the very reason for all your recent relationship problems comes strolling into the bar.

Warnings: Mentions of cheating. Love Triangle x2. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Jake Seresin xF!reader. Question ing Morality. Angst.

Word Count: 1.9k

Author Note: Based off the first scene Mark Sloan is in. Greys Anatomy.

Series Masterlist | Main Masterlist

It always plays on repeat in your mind like a slow motion picture, like a scene in one of those old timey movies where everyone and everything slows down so that the main protagonist can understand the situation unfolding around them. 

That moment where your boyfriend of only a few months— Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw, told you that he was technically married, haunted you day in and day out. Married to the woman who’d come up to the pair of you in the locker room on base after she’d been transferred to North Island. She’d come waltzing over with a confident smile and a pretty face. She knew she was about to turn your life on its axis. 

For better or worse. 

“Y/n.” It wasn’t often people actually said your name, majority of the same it was your callsign—but the way the colour drained from Bradleys face as he turned to you with a gut wrenching look smeared across his usually perfect face, had your stomach churning. “I’m so sorry—“ 

“Hi, I’m Katie Bradshaw—“ The woman, who mind you, was stunning to say the very least, stuck her hand out to shake yours. You took it gracefully, with enough conviction in your grip to not have it show you were completely blindsided by that all too familiar last name. 

“Bradshaw?” You smiled softly as you sent Rooster a confusing look. He’d never mentioned a sister or a cousin before in the few months you’d been seeing and sleeping together. 

“I’m Rooster's wife—“ Those three words would forever haunt you. “And you must be the woman who’s been screwing my husband?” 

“Hey! Siren!” It was Phoenix’s voice that broke you out of the trance you’d fallen into as you showed. Her fist slamming against the shower door three quick and consecutive times made you jump a little as the warm water encapsulated you entirely. “You coming to the Hard Deck?” 

“Yeah yeah, just give me a few minutes!” You replied as you washed your face. “I’ll meet you guys over there.” It had only been three weeks since you called it quits with the mustache having aviator who had stolen your heart. The entire situation made you feel dirty. Even if you weren’t the one in the wrong. No amount of showering could wash away the dirty feeling you’d been left with. 

What could be worse than being branded the dirty mistress? That no one told you about the cheating scandal that had rocked the Bradshaws' happy marriage about a year ago. That was worse. 

Bradley swore black and blue he was going to tell you. He’d sworn the rest of the squad to secrecy about the details too. He wanted to be the one to tell you. To tell you that you were the first woman he’d been with since he’d walked in on his wife, Katie, and his best friend, Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, in bed together. 

Still, the ultimatum was given. You’d asked Bradley to pick you, choose you, love you. But when the time came to decide he chose his wife. His reasonings were none of your business nor concern. 

And so you walked away. Labelled the mistress and the interim love affair. Even against the Chester you didn’t compare—and that crushed you completely. 

“You’ve been doing that an awful lot lately.” Pennys voice broke through the haze you’d fallen into at the bar. The drink you’d ordered, Gin Sour, sat in front of you on a Hard Deck coaster. “What’s on your mind daydreamer?” 

“More like a never ending nightmare Pen.” You sighed before reaching for your drink. “This whole situation makes me feel like I need a lobotomy.” 

“Rooster still trying to force a friendship?” In truth Bradley thought he owed his marriage just one more shot. But right after you walked away he immediately started to regret his decision to choose his wife. He couldn’t stop thinking about you and all that was you. He’d made the wrong decision, but was too proud to admit it. Especially to his wife. 

He stood across the Hard Deck with a beer in his hand and his arm slung around her hip, looking at you like a puppy you’d left out in the rain. He missed you, oh so much. And that fact you hardly spoke to him these days made his heart hurt inside his chest. 

“Yeah—and I don’t think I can handle it anymore.” You admitted before taking a sip of your drink. “I’ve asked for a transfer, just to make it easier. I can’t focus, can’t sleep, because he’s just—always around.” 

“Sounds to me like you’re just running away from your problems.” Penny held her tongue as she watched the tall sandy blonde appear next to you at the bar. “That, or you know that you’re still in love with the guy and no matter what you do he’ll still manage to wiggle his way in because you’ll always allow him to.” It took you a few moments to register what the stranger beside you said as you eyed him up and down. 

“Sensitivity—“ You rolled your eyes. “I like that in a stranger.” The alcohol coursed through your body like a mild painkiller. “Are you new in town?” The civvies were an excellent camouflage against the sea of tans that flooded the Hard Deck—and Penny wasn’t about to be the one who told you the stranger you were talking to was the reason for your current situation. 

“Just visiting—“ He made sure to lie, a little white lie never hurt anyone. Or so they said. But the man beside you with the perfect smile and emerald green eyes definitely wanted to see how far he could get this conversation. “I’m confounded by all the patches and it’s only my first day in town.” He sighed softly as he sat beside you. “Budweiser please Barkeep.” Penny nodded without another word. 

“You get used to it, North Island is a Naval Base after all.” It felt like a needed explanation. The stranger beside you nodded softly as he fished his wallet out of his back pocket. 

“So I’ve heard.” A comfortable silence fell between you and the handsome stranger as he waited for his beer. “Kinda wish I’d stayed in bed, if I had known this place would be crawling with Naval Officers I wouldn’t have bothered.” Oh he knew, he knew all right. 

He knew that the Hard Deck would be packed to the rafters with the Dagger Squad and he certainly knew North Island was a Naval Base. Why? Because he was a part of that designated team. You’d just been the one who replaced him while he was tasked to special ops. Now? He was back to cause chaos. 

“Hey Rooster—“ Fanboy grabbed Bradley’s attention away from Bob. “You see who’s at the bar with Siren?” As Bradley turned his attention back to where he’d known you to be sitting for the better half of the evening, he immediately saw red. A jealousy that rivaled nothing he’d ever felt before consumed him fully, even if his wife was tucked in at his side. 

“We just met and already you’re talking about bed.” You chuckled softly as you took another sip of your drink. Penny had since passed Jake his Budweiser and before you knew it, he was laughing softly beside you. “Not very subtle.” 

“Being subtle was never really my strong suit.” The man beside you replied with a look of all knowing. He knew something you didn’t. If you didn’t know any better you would have asked what that may have been. But you chose to take another sip of your gin. Settletting once again into the comfortable silence that surrounded you and the stranger to your right. 

“So, you ever go out with co-workers?” It stunned you for a second, the forwardness of such a question, but then again—you still didn’t know this guy's name and he was making the heat in your cheeks reach new uncharted heights. 

“I um—“ You tucked some of your hair behind your ear and turned to give the golden skinned, white T wearing man beside you your full attention. Crossing your legs as you did so, so that his knees were on either side of yours. “I make it a rule not to.” His answer sent a shiver down your spin. A good shiver. A shiver that made your core flutter. 

“Then I am so glad that I don’t work here.” Maybe it was the gin talking or maybe it was your recent breakup, but this guy was the very definition of a piece of art. He was gorgeous, an Adonis that surely would have come straight out of accent metrology. 

“Are you hitting on me?” You tried to hide the keen grin that threatened to creep across your slightly heated face, but the sudden attention was giving you an ego boost you desperately needed after being rejected in favour of the cheating wife. 

“Would that be so wrong?” Oh this guy was good. Too good. His infectious smile captivated you in every way it could have. His eyes held a story that was dying to be told. His confidence made you want to lean in and taste it, like hard candy it probably tastes just as sweet as his scent smelled. With notes of Vanilla and warm Bourbon lingering from his neck. 

So you stuck your hand out for him to accept ever so politely. His eyes never left your as you smiled and bit your bottom lip bashfully. 

“I’m Y/n—“ “Lieutenant Y/n Siren Y/l/n.”  “And you are?” Nothing could have prepared you for what happened next. Remember that slow motion we were talking about earlier? Well, the seconds it took Bradley Bradshaw's fist to collide against your handsome mystery man’s cheek, it felt like a century as it played out in painfully slow motion before you. 

His head hit the bar with a thud as beer spilled into your lap. 

“Rooster! Jesus—!” You gasped as you stood and pushed against Bradley’s chest to back him up and away from the man you’d just been talking to. “Fuck! what the hell was that!?” 

Bradley didn’t answer right away as you turned to watch the blond stand with blood dripping down and out of his nose. The two stood there in silence, eyeing each other off as Penny fished out the bar's basic first aid kit. 

“That—“ Bradley huffed as he shook his throbbing hand. His jaw had never been so clenched before. He was furious and full of a rage that burned so deep it could have raised his core temperature by a few degrees. 

His wife stood off to the side looking all kinds of guilty. As did the rest of the Daggers. They knew this was about to get messy. They knew if he was back and already had his target set on you then there was going to be an all out war between the two men who stood ready to run at each other like angry bulls. 

And you, well—you were more concerned about the blood gushing from the nose of your stranger than you were about your ex’s possibly broken hand. But Bradley turned back to you, for a mere second to explain. 

And when he did—you forgot what morals were.

“That was Jake.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

#rooster bradshaw imagine #hangman seresin imagine #top gun fic #top gun x reader #bradley bradshaw top gun #jake seresin top gun #bradley bradshaw x reader #jake seresin x reader #bradley bradshaw x female reader #jake seresin x female!reader

[idontgiveaflyinggrayson69]

The Bond

Author: Nat / @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

Relationship: Neteyam x Fem!Na’vi!Reader

Summary: The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced.

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: Smut. Unprotected sex (wrap it up kids). Major character death. Angst. Pregnancy. ATWOW spoilers.

Comments: Hockey people look away, look away… After watching ATWOW I physically could not stop thinking about ‘what if you could feel the bond’ the way Parabatai feel each other in the Mortal Instruments and one thing led to another… This really was supposed to just be a short little imagine just to get the idea out of my head so I could work on my other projects but then I went hmmm no I think this needs some context for it to make sense and then I proceeded to write their entire fucking story cradle to grave and spent WAY too much time fact checking every single detail… There were a bunch of ways I could have expanded this, but I told myself no because no one needs a 50k+ Neteyam story... Also, this was not betad because I was not about to subject my poor beta to my current Avatar obsession.

Disclaimer: I thought Neteyam was 20 the whole movie so that’s how old he is in this, which is about the same age Jake and Neytiri were in the first film. And also, Neteyam wears a battle belt, which means he is seen as a man among the Omatikaya.

do not repost, do not claim as your own

Tsaheylu.

The bond.

The beginning and the end of everything.

You feel their breath, you feel their heart, you feel their strength. It’s your way to connect with the world around you. At least, that’s what they always told you.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond. You can ride and fly and see and hear without uttering a single word. And most beautiful of all, you get to feel your mate, if you were lucky enough to find one.

With a mate, it wasn’t just their breaths and heart you felt like a horse or an ikran. It was deeper, much deeper. You felt them. Their thoughts, their memories, the every ounce of their being. The bond ties you to them—to their soul—for life, connects you to them in a way you’d never be connected to anyone or anything for as long as you lived.

It’s a beautiful thing the bond.

--

You could remember the first time Neteyam brought up the possibility of mating.

The golden son, the next Olo’eykton, the first-born son of Toruk Makto and Neytiri, Neteyam always had big shoes to fill, and it was always something he struggled with in silence. Who was he to talk to about the shade of greatness he grew up in? His father? His mother? His little brother? None of them understood, and none of them saw him.

But you did.

For as long as you could remember, Neteyam had been your closest friend, and you his—outside of his siblings at least. Kiri wasn’t much younger than him, but she had always been closer with Lo’ak than him, and Neteyam had always had more of a protective, fatherly role than a brotherly one with them and Tuk especially.

But you? You held no expectations for him. With you he was just Neteyam—or ’Teyam when he made you laugh hard enough you could barely breathe. You did everything with him. Training, hunting, claiming a banshee. Every step, you were there, and there was no one you felt closer to than him.

You didn’t have a big family like he did, it was only you. But you had him. He was your best friend, your everything, your—

Neteyam was going to be the next Olo’eykton and whoever he took as his mate would be the next Tsahìk, so you knew it wasn’t a decision he took lightly. If his father wasn’t Jake Sully, you were sure he’d have been betrothed to a woman his parents deemed worthy of being the next Olo’eykton’s mate. You didn’t know if Eywa had her eyes on you at the decision not to betroth him because, on one hand, there was a chance he’d take you, but on the other, you knew him choosing another of his own will would break you irreversibly.

Neteyam had shown some interest in the other girls in the village, especially the ones his mother mentioned to him, but you never saw him have more than a few conversations with them, mostly about hunting, which they didn’t seem to appreciate as much as you did.

You didn’t know that they were never the one he wanted. That for him, there had only ever been one.

It was the eve of his iknimaya ceremony, the final step of him becoming taronyu, of becoming a man, that he first brought up the possibility of mating with you. Once he became a man, he could choose a woman.

The thought alone made your chest tight. You couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning in your tent before you finally resigned yourself and slipped out. A night walk in the forest would, at the very least, keep your mind occupied.

You should have known Neteyam had the same idea.

Becoming a hunter, becoming a man, becoming one of the People, and earning his place in the clan all weighed heavily on him. He lived in the shadow of his father who had gone from Sky People to one of the People to Toruk Makto to Olo’eykton in a span of a few months. He was only the sixth Toruk Makto since the first songs and Neteyam knew that even if he were to be a great Olo’eykton, he’d never be his father, and it ate at him.

No matter how hard he tried, Neteyam couldn’t sleep. He tossed and turned but his mind fought his every attempt at sleep. He knew he needed sleep for the day ahead, but he wasn’t granted peace and finally he resigned himself to a walk to clear his mind. At the very least, the night would pass more quickly and bring him into tomorrow.

Neither of you realized the other was close, not at first. Your mind was so consumed by the thought of him that you weren’t looking where you were going and didn’t put the care into your steps like you knew you should. The snap of the twig under your step was secondary to you, but it made Neteyam’s ears twitch.

He wasn’t alone.

A moment later, another twig snapped under your foot and Neteyam let it consume his attention. All he had on him was his knife, but it would have to do, he was the best hunter of his age after all.

He followed your uncaring, twig breaking steps silently with his knife down, unsure of what he was following. But as soon as he caught a flash of blue skin in the dark, he let himself relax a little. When he stepped a little closer to get a clearer view, he sheathed his knife as he let out a soft laugh. He’d know you anywhere.

The sound of his laugh made your ears twitch and you tensed. You’d know that sound anywhere. “Neteyam?” You breathed as you turned around and a moment later, he revealed himself with his hands up and a playful smile on his lips as he said your name back to you.

“It is late,” he told you as he stepped closer, his tail flicking behind him. “You should be asleep.”

“As should you,” you replied and returned his smile. “You have a big day tomorrow.”

“Ah,” he brushed you off with a short wave of his hand. “I’ll be fine,” he told you. “I do not have to hunt tomorrow, just become taronyu.”

Your smile slipped for half a moment before you pushed it back up. “I know,” you replied, hoping your tone didn’t betray you.

His ears straightened as he watched you and he hoped, oh Eywa he hoped, that he wasn’t misinterpreting your hesitation as he stepped closer to you. “Once I become taronyu, I may take a woman.”

You couldn’t hide the disappointment in your eyes so you turned away from him. “I know,” you whispered. “It’s a big day for the clan. There are many fine women to choose from.”

His heart dropped, fearing rejection from the only woman he had ever wanted. “I know,” he said and let his tail brush yours as he stepped around you, forcing you to look at him.

You shivered at the touch but brushed it off as an accidental touch. “Your father is very fond of Miayho, and your mother favours Zia,” you told him softly, unable to meet his eyes.

“You’re right,” he agreed. “But I’ve already chosen.” His words made your heart drop and you tried to turn away from him again, but he cupped your cheek to stop you. “But this woman must also choose me.”

“She must be lucky,” you whispered, your heart aching.

“She is,” Neteyam smiled. “She is strong and beautiful and a little slow at times, but she is the only one I could ever want.”

“’Teyam,” you breathed, your voice breaking, but his smile never faltered.

“I’m speaking of you,” he told you and softly shook his head. “Tomorrow I am granted the chance to choose a woman, and you are the only woman I have ever wanted. I choose you, if you choose me, too.”

You were quiet as the weight of his words sunk in, but slowly you cupped his cheek, too. “I chose you the moment I saw you,” you replied and rubbed your thumb over the deep blue line that traced the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam’s smile filled your chest with warmth and you leaned forward to rest your forehead against his. Neteyam’s smile softened as he rubbed his nose against yours. He’d mate you right here right now if you let him, but it was not the way, and a day was a short wait compared to the years he had already been waiting.

“So, it is decided, then?” He asked as he pulled back to look at you.

“It is,” you blushed and dipped your head as your ears went back, already itching to reach for your braid. At your words, Neteyam’s shoulders lightened, somewhat anyway. The weight of being the next Olo’eykton and living up to his father still plagued him, but he knew as long as he had you by his side, he’d be alright.

“We should sleep, then,” he told you and bit his lip. “I intent to mate you before Eywa tomorrow.”

Your blush darkened as you smiled. You didn’t dare ask if his mother or father approved of the match, you didn’t care, you just wanted him, needed him. “We should,” you agreed and tilted your chin up. “It is a big day tomorrow.”

Neteyam’s smile widened and he dipped his head. “A very big day,” he agreed and took your hand before he led you back to the village. The sooner you both fell asleep, the sooner tomorrow would come, and the sooner you could become one.

“You could stay with me,” you told him as you approached your tent.

There was nothing Neteyam wanted more, but he also knew his father would expect him in his own bed bright and early and he didn’t want to start the big day on the wrong foot. “Tomorrow night,” he replied and dipped his head. “Tonight will be our last night apart.”

You hated when he pulled his hand from yours, but you knew he was right, that it was the way. You had waited years for this, you could wait another night. “Tomorrow,” you nodded.

“Tomorrow,” he echoed you before he stepped back. Still, he watched as you slipped into your tent safe and secure before he made his way back to his own and prayed to Eywa his father hadn’t noticed his absence. Thankfully, he hadn’t, and Neteyam settled into his bed with a smile and warm chest.

Tomorrow he became taronyu.

Tomorrow he became a man.

Tomorrow he gained you. 

His eyelids were heavy and sleep came more easily to him. One moment he was thinking of your beautiful golden eyes, the next he was passed out, dreaming of your smile and the comforting flowery scent that always clung to your hair.

--

The sun woke him bright and early like it always did and he smiled as he stretched out.

Today was the day.

“Are you nervous?” Lo’ak asked him over breakfast and Neteyam rolled his eyes.

“Why would I be nervous?”

Lo’ak’s shit eating grin widened as he shoved his brother’s shoulder, “that no woman will want to mate with your ugly face.”

Any other day Neteyam would have told his brother off and shoved him back, but your words were still fresh in his mind—I chose you the moment I saw you—and his ears went back as he dipped his head.

Lo’ak’s smile faltered as he moved closer, his ears perking up before he knocked his shoulder against his brother’s. “Bro,” he said under his breath so their parents wouldn’t hear. “Got something you’d like to share?”

Neteyam knocked his shoulder right back against his brother’s. He was quiet for a moment as he debated whether he should say anything, but Neteyam knew his brother well, better than anyone, and he knew Lo’ak wouldn’t stop pestering him until he spilled. “I may have already chosen a woman,” he said with a small smile. “And she has chosen me as well. We will be mated before Eywa.”

“Bro,” Lo’ak breathed and put his hand on the back of Neteyam’s neck as he gave him a little shake. “You asked her?” Neteyam didn’t have to say a name for him to know he meant you.

Neteyam dropped his head again as he nodded, “it is decided.”

“I am surprised she settled for your skxawng ass, but I am happy for you, bro,” Lo’ak grinned, and he laughed as Neteyam bared his fangs at him and shook him off.

“Watch who you call skxawng, skxawng,” he replied, making Lo’ak laugh hard enough that their father looked over at them and their ears went back as they quickly went quiet.

Jake watched his sons for a long moment before he stepped over and sat down next to Neteyam and put his hand on his shoulder. “Are you ready, son?”

Neteyam smiled as he nodded, “born ready, sir.”

“Good,” Jake smiled and patted his son on the back. “Your mom has the paint, whenever you’re ready.”

Neteyam’s tail flicked behind him. “Actually, if it’s alright, there’s something else who I’d like to do the paint.”

For a moment Jake’s eyebrows raised as he looked at his son before the corner of his lip twitched up as he remembered when Neytiri painted him for his own iknimaya. “Of course,” Jake nodded. “But you have to tell your mother.”

His mother wasn’t exactly happy to give up the chance to paint her first born son ahead of the ceremony, but Neteyam rarely asked for anything and she could see in his eyes that it meant a great deal to him, so she resigned herself and handed the bowls of paint over to him. “I hope you chose well, my son,” Neytiri told him.

“I did,” Neteyam replied with a smile. “Thank you, mother.”

The bowls were full and despite their small size, they felt heavy in his hands as he headed out to find you. Neteyam knew both you and the village like the back of his hand so it was easy for him to find you. you blushed as he met your gaze and he smiled before he lowered his head to you and he sat down across from you.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” You asked him softly, buzzing with anticipation of what was to come.

“I should, yes,” he agreed and sat the bowls of paint down in front of you.

“Neteyam,” you breathed. It was traditionally done by mothers.

“I want you to,” he smiled. “That is, if you want to, too.”

You were quiet for a moment before you nodded. “I want to,” you smiled softly and moved the bowls closer to you, the weight of their significance not lost on you as you beckoned him closer. “Now?” You asked softly.

Neteyam nodded as he moved closer. You blushed when he ginned at you shoved his shoulder before dipping your fingers into the white paint. You started with his arm, your touch light as you traced familiar patterns over his skin. Neteyam shivered, both at the coolness of the paint and your touch and it made you blush deepen as you focused on your lines, not wanting to mess any of them up, especially when you felt the weight of his gaze on you.

After his arms, you moved on to his chest and you gave Neteyam a look when the corner of his lip twitched up. “I am well aware you are a mighty warrior, Neteyam,” you told him and pulled your fingers back so you wouldn’t ruin the lines.

“But now you feel that I am a mighty warrior,” he smirked, making you roll your eyes.

You were quiet for a moment as you tried to think of a reply. Slowly, you trailed your fingers down his abdomen and let your lip twitch up when you felt him tense at your touch. “I do,” you hummed and looked up at him. “And soon I will feel all of you.”

You bit your lip as Neteyam’s eyes darkened but you devoted your attention to finishing the lines on his abdomen before you picked up one of the bowls and moved to his back, giggling as Neteyam’s tail kept flicking as you traced the patterns on his skin and once you were done, you hesitated before pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck and giggled when his ears stood straight up.

“You are a tease, woman,” he breathed as you settled back in front of him to paint his face.

“Am not,” you replied with a smile as you dipped your fingers into the paint again. “Now stay still.” To his benefit, Neteyam was still as he watched you, his tail flicking every now and then as you traced careful lines over his face, finishing with a feather light touch over his lips.

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked him over. “You are ready,” you told him as you sat back on your haunches.

“I am?” He asked and you nodded.

“You are.”

Neteyam knew kissing you would ruin the paint you worked so hard to get perfect, but he still thought about it and it took every ounce of his self control not to kiss you. “Thank you,” he smiled before he stood and your heart fluttered in your chest as you took him in.

Your best friend. Your lover. Your mate.

A man.

You took his hand when he extended it to you and let him lead you down to where the ceremony would take place. To no surprise, his parents, siblings, and grandmother were already there and when you met his mother’s gaze, you get go of his hand. You weren’t mates yet and this was his ceremony. A ceremony for the clan.

At the loss of your hand, Neteyam looked back at you but you gave him a reassuring smile as you encouraged him on with a nod so he returned his gaze to his parents. Slowly the rest of the clan emerged and began to form the circle around him, and you.

“Neteyam,” Jake started as he looked at his son, trying and failing to restrain his smile. “My son. You tamed an ikran and completed your dream hunt. You are one of the People now,” he said before putting his hands on Neteyam’s shoulders just like Eytukan had done to him many years before. Once Jake touched Neteyam, the rest of his family and then the clan followed suit, one by one until everyone was connected as they welcomed Neteyam into the clan as a man.

You smiled at him as the people began to separate and once he could, Neteyam turned and put his hand on your shoulder, making you blush. His parents weren’t oblivious as they watched you, and Jake gave Neytiri a knowing smile as he held his hand out to her. It felt like just yesterday that she had done the same to him and he was happy for his son. He chose well, just like he did.

--

Every time a member of the clan came of age, there was a celebration. It was filled with food and dance and stories and songs; and Neteyam spent the whole night looking at you.

He was seated between his father, the Olo’eykton, and Lo’ak, and you were across from him, much too far for his liking. He could hear the people telling stories, but he wasn’t listening as he focused on you. You were the only thing that mattered to him.

You had put flowers in your hair and you wore a top he didn’t recognize so it had to be new and Neteyam couldn’t take his eyes off you. You were his everything.

It was only once the sun began to dip in the sky and people returned to their tents that Neteyam was able to steal some much needed alone time with you.

Neteyam washed the paint off and put his newly earned battle belt on by himself, but Jake stuck around with a gut instinct and gave his son a nod before he put his hand on his shoulder. Neteyam didn’t have to tell him for him to know he intended to take a mate, he remembered his own youth well and he could only hope his son found the same happiness he found in Neytiri.

Neteyam nodded back to his father, a smile playing on his lips. “Are you sure, son?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded.

“More sure than I have ever been.”

“Good,” Jake nodded and squeezed his son’s shoulder. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

It was Neteyam’s turn to laugh and he shrugged his father’s hand off, dipping his head to his father one final time before he slipped out to find you. He was a man now, and you were his to claim.

Neteyam held his hand out to you and you blushed as you took it and let him guide you toward the Tree of Souls. If you were to be mated, then you were going to do it properly and you would be mated before Eywa.

It was only you and Neteyam before the tree and your heart raced with anticipation. By the time you got before the tree, before Eywa, you were a couple steps ahead of Neteyam and your ears twitched with every step he took to close the distance between you. Your tail flicked as he shifted his weight and it took him way too long to touch you, his hand just barely brushing your back to make you look at him.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he said softly, giving you an out. But you didn’t want an out.

“I want to,” you told him, holding his eyes before you slowly lowered yourself to your knees, your heart racing. This was the moment you had been waiting for your whole life, with the person you had been hoping for.

Neteyam followed your lead and knelt across from you before he pulled his braid over his shoulder. You held his gaze as you did the same, your braid heavy in your hand. You had made the bond with horses and your ikran, but taking a mate was something else entirely. Your heart raced with excitement and anxiety as you gripped the end of your braid and held it up, your tendrils searching for his.

You held Neteyam’s gaze as he gripped the end of his own braid and held it out. You let your eyes drop to your braid as he brought his closer. He paused to give you a chance to pull back, and when you didn’t, he moved his braid closer, letting his tendrils intertwine with yours.

It was unlike anything you had every experienced before.

The air left you lungs and you closed your eyes as you leaned into him, resting your forehead against his as you took a deep breath to steady yourself. His touch felt like electricity as he trailed his hands up your arms. And then you were overcome with warmth and familiarity and comfort. Home, you realized. You felt at home. You pulled back to look at him, your jaw slack and pupils blown and you found Neteyam looking back at you with the same awestruck expression. Warmth and pleasure coursed through your veins and when he cupped your cheek, you leaned into his touch.

And then he kissed you. For as long as you could remember, you dreamt of the touch of your mate, but it was so much better than you could have imagined and you melted into the kiss as you rested your hands on his shoulders and moved closer.

Neteyam’s hands trailed down to your hips and you let him pull you onto his lap, both of you desperate for every touch you could steal. You pulled back from the kiss to catch your breath as you struggled to keep air in your lungs, your pull to Neteyam so strong. Your jaw was slack as you looked at him and you were sure your pupils were as blown as his were.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and rubbed your nose against his, craving his touch.

“I know, my name,” he breathed and rubbed his nose back against yours as he let you feel him through his loin cloth. It pulled a soft moan from your lips which he quickly quieted with another kiss.

“I need you,” he said against your lips and let his hand brush the top of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was, and he was rewarded with you rocking your hips into his.

“I need you, too,” you told him and pulled back so you could run your hand down his strong chest to his newly earned warrior’s belt. It wasn’t something you had ever put on let alone taken off, so Neteyam had to help you rid himself of it so you could once again trail your fingers down his abdomen and down to the top of his loin cloth.

Neteyam’s soft groan had heat pooling between your thighs and you were sure he could feel it. “’Teyam,” you whispered and covered his hand on your hip with your own. His golden eyes were dark as he looked at you and you slowly guided his hand up to your chest, needing him to touch you.

Neteyam had seen your chest more times than he’d care to admit, the necklace and beads provided little coverage, but seeing you and feeling you were two entirely different things. Your skin was warm and soft beneath his touch, but your nipples were hard and when he caught it between his fingers, he was rewarded with a soft moan from you, which he desperately wanted to hear again.

He licked his lips as he brought his hand up to your other breast. His hands dwarfed you, and you moaned and leaned into him as he pinched your nipples, learning exactly what you liked, what you needed.

“’Teyam,” you whined and rocked your hips into his once again. His touch wasn’t enough, you could feel him and you needed him. “My mate,” you whispered and trailed your hands down his back.

“I know,” he nodded. You didn’t have to tell him for him to know. He gave a final tweak to your nipples before trailing his hands down your sides to the band of your loin cloth. He kept his eyes on yours as he undid it and slowly peeled the material away from you. it only made your racing heart more intense as you rested on his lap, and your tail brushed his knees as he looked at you before he laid you back against the soft moss.

You were bare to him, but you didn’t care as he looked at you like you hung the stars in the sky. Neteyam ran his eyes over you before he reached down to untie his own loin cloth, and then there was nothing between you.

“Please, ‘Teyam.”

He nodded and ran his hand up your thigh toward where you needed him most. As soon as his thumb reached the seam of where your thigh met your hip, Neteyam could feel how badly you needed him, your wetness coating your skin, pulling a soft groan from him.

When he finally touched you, his touch was light and you let your eyes close as you moaned softly. He was gentle as he trailed his fingers up your slit to the bud at the top and he was rewarded with a loud gasp when he rubbed your clit. He watched you with careful eyes as he circled the bud with his fingers and felt how you throbbed for him.

The tips of his fingers were rough from his years of hunting, and between the roughness and sureness of his touch, you wouldn’t last long. Your high was building fast and when you opened your eyes and found his familiar golden eyes looking back at you, it sent you over the edge.

“Neteyam,” you moaned as you came, your back arching as you pressed your hips into his hand. Neteyam groaned as you drenched his hand and he kept rubbing your clit through it, loving your blissed out expression. It was only when your moans turned to whines that he trailed his fingers down your slit to your entrance.

“May I?” He asked and you nodded quickly so he pressed his finger into you, moaning at how warm and tight you were. His mate, he thought. His perfect mate.

Once you adjusted to his finger, he added a second, not wanting to hurt you. He felt your every flutter around his fingers and it made his cock ache. “I need you,” he told you, his voice rough from holding himself back.

“Then have me,” you replied and spread your legs wider, desperate for your mate.

“Eywa have mercy,” he whispered and pulled his fingers from you before slotting himself between your thighs. He didn’t have to ask, he could feel your need, and he held your gaze as he guided himself to your entrance.

You gasped as he pressed into you and he rested his forehead against yours until his hips were touching yours. “My mate,” he breathed as you ran your hands down his back, and when you wrapped your legs around his hips, you felt his tail brush your ankle. Neteyam’s breaths were shallow as he rested his forehead against your shoulder, both of you needing a moment to adjust.

You were finally tied together the way you always should have been.

Together.

Connected.

One.

“’Teyam,” you breathed once you had adjusted and you cupped the back of his head.

He knew exactly what you needed and he nodded as he pulled halfway out before thrusting back into you and started a slow rhythm, soaking in every feeling of you. You had never felt so connected to someone and you melted at his touch, unsure of where you ended and he began.

His movements were slow but sure and you were consumed with the feel and smell of him. He filled you in a way you didn’t know you could be filled and you could feel yourself get closer and closer to that high with his every movement.

It wasn’t long until your moans grew louder and you dug your nails into his shoulders as your tail thrashed against the moss. When you came, your veins were filled with warmth, a warmth that only Neteyam could feel as his hips stuttered. The feeling of his mate cumming around him was indescribable and it pushed him ever closer.

He fucked you through your high before he picked his pace up, searching his own high. It wasn’t long before he came, too, burying himself deep inside you as he filled you up. You gasped at the feeling and pulled him closer, needing every piece of your mate you could get.

Neteyam smiled into your neck as you both caught your breath, and he pressed a light kiss to your skin before he pulled back to look at you with a soft smile. “We are mated before Eywa,” he breathed and cupped your jaw.

You leaned into his touch with a soft smile. “We are mated for life,” you replied, making his smile widen.

“My mate, my beautiful mate,” he smiled and rested his forehead against yours as you both soaked each other in.

You stayed with your forehead against his as your highs melted away, and slowly Neteyam pulled out of you, murmuring a soft apology when you whimpered at the loss of him. You could still feel his every breath and heartbeat, just like he could feel yours, and when he reached to break the bond, you shook your head. “Can we stay like this?” You asked softly.

Neteyam dropped his head as he nodded and he gave you a small smile before he kissed you softly. His every touch felt like home and you melted into him. He ran his thumbs over your cheek as he looked at you, his eyes full of love for you before he let himself settle behind you. His chest was warm against your back as he wrapped his arms around your waist and you smiled to yourself as you leaned back against him.

You could feel his breath and his heart and the entirely of his being.

Whole, you realized, you felt whole. Neteyam was your other half, the part you hadn’t realized you were missing. Your everything.

The bond was a beautiful thing.

You smiled as you melted back against him. Your eyelids were heavy and it was easy for sleep to claim you, and when it did, you dreamt of your future with Neteyam—the way you’d grow together and the son he’d give you—and you smiled as you slept, unaware that Eywa had shown Neteyam the same dream.

--

When you woke to the sunlight streaming on your face the next morning, Neteyam was already awake, just soaking in the feeling of you, your braids still conjoined. He smiled when he realized you were awake and guided you onto your back so he could look at you as he rested on his side.

“Good morning, my mate,” he smiled softly.

“Good morning, my mate,” you repeated and reached out to cup his cheek. Neteyam leaned into your touch, making you smile as you ran your thumb over the arch of his cheek.

All he wanted was to stay wrapped up in you forever, but he knew you both had things to do and expectations to meet. “We should head back to the village,” he whispered and you sighed before nodding.

“We should,” you agreed, even if all you wanted was him.

He nodded and pressed a soft kiss to your lips before he asked to separate your braids. You didn’t want to, but you nodded and let Neteyam pull his braid from yours. You gasped at the break, feeling colder than you did a moment before, but even without the bond you could feel Neteyam. It was nowhere as strong as when your braids met, but he still lingered in the back of your mind and you knew you lingered in the back of his. You gave him a soft smile as you trailed your hand down his arm and he grinned at you, so in love with you.

It wasn’t hard for both of you to redress, through it did take you a few extra moments to clean your thighs, which made Neteyam smirk as he watched you, both of you taking your time, neither of you wanting the moment to end.

You had left the village as individuals, but now you returned as a mated pair. You held his hand as you let him guide you through the village toward his parents, toward the Olo’eykton.

As the Olo’eykton, it was his duty to know of every newly mated pair, and had it been anyone but his father, you wouldn’t have been so nervous. Sure, it was soon after his iknimaya, but he was still a man. But it was Neteyam’s father and Neteyam was the next Olo’eykton, making you, his mate, the next Tsahìk, and you couldn’t disappoint his family, or the People.

To no surprise, his family was already awake. Village life always started early.

“Neteyam,” Neytiri started when she laid her eyes on her oldest son, but her next words died on her tongue when she saw him holding your hand. He didn’t have to say anything for her to know. At his mate’s voice, Jake looked over and the corner of his lips twitched up as he saw his eldest son, already sensing his earlier intuition was correct.

“Mother, father,” Neteyam said and dipped his head to his parents, his hand never leaving yours, “I am taronyu now,” he continued. “Which means—”

“You may now choose a woman,” his mother finished for him, thinking back to the night she told Jake the very same words.

“Yes,” he breathed before he glanced back at you with a smile. “And I have.”

“You have?” Jake asked and Neteyam nodded as he looked to his father.

“We are mated before Eywa.”

His mother took a sharp breath in, not in disapproval, but out of realization that her eldest son had truly become a man and had left her nest. Jake touched Neytiri’s arm to ground her as he nodded to his son. “We’re happy for you,” he said for the both of them before looking at his own mate, encouraging her to say something.

“We are,” she breathed and stepped forward to cup Neteyam’s cheek. “My son,” she whispered and ran her thumb over the arch of his cheek.

Neteyam smiled at his mother before he nodded and pulled back from her touch, his smile widening as he looked at you and let his tail brush yours. Jake nodded at the interaction before he smiled at you, “welcome to the family.”

Your smile widened before you dipped your head to him. “Thank you, sir.”

“Nah,” Jake waved his hand. “It’s Jake.” He told you, though one day you’d come to call him ‘dad.’

You were welcomed into the Sully family with open arms. Neytiri had her reservations, as would any mother, but Jake adored you. He saw how deeply you cared for Neteyam, and how deeply Neteyam cared for you, and though he’d never admit it, Jake could see him and Neytiri in you two.

Neteyam’s youngest sister, Tuk, adored you and though Neteyam was her best friend, you were a close second. Kiri was happy to have another sister, and one closer in age than Tuk. And Lo’ak…

Lo’ak treated you like you had always been there. He didn’t hesitate to make fun of you like he did for the rest of his siblings, and he certainly didn’t hold back as he made fun of you picking Neteyam for your mate. It always made Neteyam roll his eyes and, more often than not, call his sibling a skxawng, but it made you smile because it meant you were truly part of the family and you loved it.

The bond was beautiful, as was the family you gained with it.

The problem was, nothing stayed perfect forever.

Everything changed the day Jake realized there was one too many stars in the sky.

Twenty years before, Toruk Makto led the clans to victory over the Sky People, all Na’vi knew his story, but the war was over, something of the past, something that had come and gone before either you or Neteyam were born—or it was supposed to be anyway.

The Second War against the Sky People was more intense than you could have ever imagined, with the guns and the fire and the relocation and the devastation and the death—so many deaths.

A very capable hunter, Neteyam was always involved in the war effort. A spotter. He tried to reassure you that it was the safest role he could have, that he wasn’t on the ground on the front lines, but it didn’t make you feel any better. There was no “safe” in a war. And you had seen too many of your people die.

As the mate of the next Olo’eykton, you could be the next Tsahìk, so Mo’at had taken you under her win, teaching you so you could one day take her place. So, unlike your mate, his parents and his brother, your role in the war wasn’t out there but back at home as you worked to heal the wounded—and make comfortable those who would be welcomed into Eywa’s arms.

You knew your role was important, but it was hard. It was hard to see the devastation and the death, and it was hard knowing your mate was out there and could just as easily be the next person who came through the tent flap in need of help.

You could never breathe deeply, let alone eat or drink, until he was home safe.

And the day he came back home bruised and bloodied, you dropped your tray of herbs before you rushed to him, even as Jake scolded him and Lo’ak.

“I’m fine,” he told you softly, but the blood on your hand said otherwise.

“You are bleeding, he is bleeding,” you said as you turned to Jake after he finished his little speech. “I am taking him to Mo’at.” Neytiri backed you up, also worried for her son, so Jake dismissed him and you heard Neytiri arguing with him as you led Neteyam toward the healing tent, your hand on his back.

“I’m fine, truly,” he repeated once you two were out of earshot of his parents.

“You are hurt,” you replied softly and stopped to look at him, taking his hand in yours. “My heart aches seeing you hurt.”

Neteyam gave you a soft smile and rested his forehead against yours. “I am fine, my mate,” he said before he kissed you. “I feel no pain when I am with you.”

His words made your heart flutter and you retuned his smile. “You still require healing,” you replied and led him to Mo’at’s tent where Kiri was helping her grandmother.

You knew you should help Mo’at, but you couldn’t find it in you to leave your mate’s side. Kiri knew what to do, she was even better than you were, and you were more than happy to let her assist Mo’at while you held Neteyam’s hand, the end of your tail curled around his ankle.

Your heart ached every time he winced at the sting of the antiseptic and you squeezed his hand as you watched Mo’at and Kiri. His wound looked worse than it was, and you let out a relieved breath as they finished up.

“See?” Neteyam smiled weakly. “I’m okay.” You shook your head but still thanked Eywa that your mate was alright.

Still, you struggled to find sleep that night, your mind consumed with the what ifs of your mate’s injury. It would be too easy for his injury to be worse, for him to be taken from you. You had seen too many lose their mates the last year and had their blood curling screams as their hearts shattered beyond repair permanently imprinted in your memory.

To lose a mate was a fate worse than death, and you knew you’d never survive it.

Neteyam healed quickly from his wounds and Lo’ak was grounded for his recklessness. Neteyam was back on his ikran long before Lo’ak was, and without his ikran, without being involved in the war, Lo’ak somehow managed to create even more trouble as he convinced his siblings to return to the old shack.

It was a harmless intention born out of boredom and frustration, but the results were life altering.

It was Avatars. New Avatars. In tactical gear. They managed to get Lo’ak, Kiri, Tuk and Spider under their knives and you didn’t want to think of what could have happened if not for Jake, Neytiri and Neteyam. But Jake knew they’d never stop hunting them, hunting his family. They may have won the battle, but the war still raged.

Everything changed after that, after they took Spider.

Jake and Neytiri knew the People would never be safe as long as they stayed with them, so they had to leave.

The words were like stones in Neteyam’s heart as he told you his family was planning to leave.

The Forest was your home, the only place you ever knew, the only place you ever wanted to know. The Forest was where you were born, where you grew up, where you fell in love with Neteyam, where you were supposed to raise your children.

Neteyam could sense your hesitation. “My father said it was for the best. He said that the Sky People are hunting us and not the People, so if we leave, the People will be safe,” he explained as he took your hand in his and brushed his tail against yours. “But I will stay with you if you ask me, my mate.” He would follow you to the end of the world if you asked.

You tightened your lips as you thought, but it was an easy decision. Just a painful one. “I go where you go,” you told him softly and squeezed his hand. “You are my home and my future, Neteyam.”

In hindsight, you really wished you had asked him to stay.

You packed your things onto your ikran and your heart ached as you said your goodbyes, but Neteyam was your mate. You couldn’t be without him.

Neteyam flew by your side as you left the Forest and even without touching him, you felt his comfort and you gave him a soft smile. As long as you were together, you’d be alright.

In the end, you found sanctuary with the Metkayina, the reef people.

It was hard to learn their ways, it was hard leaning the way of the water when the Forest was all you knew, but what you didn’t expect was how hard it was to see Neteyam lose his battle belt. His whole life he had been working toward it, working to become taronyu and earn his place among the People, and he barely had it a year before it was taken from him; before his symbol of manhood was taken from him.

Neteyam may have been taronyu, a man, among the Omatikaya, but you were Metkayina now and the iknimaya of the Omatikaya meant nothing here. He had to learn the way of the water and earn his place among the Metkayina before he’d be seen as a man.

Like Jake, Neteyam’s ears dropped as his belt was taken away and you did your best to steel your shoulders like Neytiri. You both had to be strong for your mates.

None of you were seen as adults among the Metkayina, but rather as children. It frustrated some more than others, like you and Neytiri. Neteyam took after his father and tried to take the transition in stride and did what he could to fit in.

And if the relocation and the helpless feeling wasn’t enough, you were sick a few times after the transition. Initially, you blamed it on the dietary shift. Sure, fish had been a part of your diet before, but it was freshwater fish and something you only had on occasion rather than every meal of every day. It was easy to blame your sickness on the fish, you just didn’t realize that none of the others were getting sick. Not until you were shucking oysters with Ronal at least.

Ronal was the Tsahìk of the Metkayina. She saw all and she was especially hesitant toward you and Neytiri. Both you and Neytiri were being trained to become the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, so it was natural for you both to resume your training with Ronal, she just wasn’t overly fond of the idea.

Ronal let it go the first few times you gagged at the smell of the oysters before she sighed. “Have you mated recently?” She asked without looking at you.

Your eyes bugged at the question. “Why do you ask?” You replied and stopped shucking to look over at her.

“Because I am wondering if you are with child,” Ronal replied, and the knife slipped from your hand.

“What?” You asked breathlessly.

“With child,” she repeated simply. She had had two children of her own with a third on the way, and she had helped to deliver more babes than she could count. She knew the signs well and given the amount of time she had been spending with you over the last couple weeks, she could see them in you. When you didn’t answer, Ronal looked over at you, “it is a simple question. Have you mated recently?”

Your ears went back as you blushed and nodded. Ronal hummed and put the oyster she was holding and her knife down before she stood and beckoned you up. She hummed as she looked you over before she touched your forehead and then your stomach.

“Food aversion?” She asked and you nodded.

“Fatigue?” You nodded again.

“Have you bled?” You thought about it for a moment before you ears went back further. You had been so focused on fitting in and your mate you hadn’t realized.

Ronal hummed and stepped back. “I do believe you are with child,” she said before she returned to her oysters like your world hadn’t just shifted on its axis—again.

Your hands shook as you gently touched your stomach.

Pregnant.

You—

You’d be lying if you said you couldn’t be, you certainly found comfort in your mate’s arms many, many times since the relocation. But pregnant? Now? Could there be a worse time?

Slowly, you pulled your hands back and took a deep breath to clear your mind and ground yourself before you picked your knife back up and reached for another oyster.

“There are other things to do,” Ronal told you. “If the small bothers you, you will be slow. Tsireya will provide you with a different task to do.” You wanted to take her up on the offer, but you could hear Jake’s voice in your head telling you not to cause trouble and pull your weight, so you shook your head.

“I will be fine.”

She hummed but wasn’t surprised when you gagged again a moment later and she cast a look in your direction. You sighed as you nodded and moved your basket of unshucked oysters over to her, “I will find Tsireya.” If she smiled as you walked away, well, no one had to know.

Everyone was still so focused on fitting in and you could see the way looking after Lo’ak and keeping him out of trouble weighed on Neteyam, so you kept the news to yourself. If you told him, he’d only worry about you more than he already did and you didn’t want that.

And, well, it was no surprise that Ronal wasn’t fond of you. Forest People. Outcast. Alien. But knowing you were with child made Ronal soften. She didn’t look at you with the same animosity she did the others, and every time she saw you, she was sure to ask how you were doing. The Sullys were smart people, and it didn’t take Neytiri long to put two and two together and realize something was up with you, but she kept her suspicions to herself as she kept a careful eye on you.

You had always been the more affectionate one in your relationship with Neteyam, always touching him or seeking to touch him, but now you were reserved. At first, Neytiri thought you two were fighting, but Neteyam assured her you weren’t, that it was just the move and the swimming was exhausting you and the fish wasn’t agreeing with you, which was true—it just wasn’t the whole truth.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to tell him. You did, you just didn’t want to add to his already full plate, and then the longer you kept it a secret the harder it was to tell him. Between Kiri’s seizure and Norm coming and Lo’ak and Neteyam’s fight with Ao’nung and Payakan and the Tulkun, there just wasn’t a good time to tell him.

It was only after yet another dinner you couldn’t keep down that the truth finally came to light.

“You are unwell,” Neteyam said as he followed you toward your hut. It was the third time this week and he was tired of you constantly brushing it, and him, off.

“I’m fine, Neteyam,” you sighed. “It’s just—”

“The move? The fish?” He repeated your words back to you. “No, I don’t believe you. Have you spoken to Ronal? She is Tsahìk and she could help you.”

You hesitated before you turned back to look at him with tight lips before you sighed and took his hand. He gave you a concerned look as you guided him down to the beach where you could have some privacy. “Ronal can’t help me,” you said as you turned to face and gently fiddled with his fingers. “Because I am not sick.”

“It is just us, my mate, you never need lie to me,” he replied softly and used his free hand to cup your cheek.

“I’m not lying, ‘Teyam,” you breathed and covered his hand with yours before you guided it down to your stomach. “I’m not sick, I’m with child.”

Neteyam froze as he let your words sink in before he softened. “You are with child?” He whispered and stepped closer to you.

You nodded, “it’s horrible timing, but—”

“But nothing,” he smiled. “This is amazing news! We’re having a baby—the first of many I hope.” You were taken by surprise when he picked you up and spun you around, completely elated.

You laughed softly as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders before you patted him. “Enough, ‘Teyam, I’ll be sick again.”

“Right, sorry, my love,” he replied and sat you down, his smile never wavering as he touched your stomach again. “I’m just really happy.”

“I am, too,” you said softly and covered his hand before you kissed him softly. He cupped the back of your head to keep you close, but you both couldn’t stop smiling so you pulled back and rested your hand on his chest, feeling the familiar, comforting beat of his heart.

Neteyam wrapped his arm around you and pulled you closer by the small of your back before he rested his forehead against yours. “I would take you here and now on the beach if you let me, my mate,” he hummed.

“Anyone could see, including your parents,” you laughed.

“Then let them see,” he hummed and when he tried to kiss you again, you shoved him back, making him laugh loudly before he pulled you close again, the tips of his fingers brushing the base of your tail, knowing how sensitive it was.

“Once the sickness passes,” you told him and guided his hand back up to your back.

Neteyam softened and he nodded, “of course, my mate. May I at least hold you tonight?”

“I’d expect nothing else,” you smiled and let him lead you back toward your hut. Once Neteyam closed the flap, you rid yourself of your top—another sign of your growing baby was how swollen and sensitive your breasts had become and the weight of the beads irritated you in a way they never had before.

Neteyam groaned low in his throat as he knelt on the bed, “are you sure you don’t want me to pleasure you, my mate?” He asked softly.

“Maybe tomorrow,” you laughed and pulled him down next to you and you laughed when his hand managed to find your breast after he settled behind you. He didn’t try to do more than hold your breast while his other hand rested on your stomach, so you let him as you pressed yourself back against him.

The reef wasn’t the Forest, but it was nice and welcoming and you could see you two raising your children along the blue water and sandy beaches. Neteyam’s tail curled around your ankle and you smiled as you tried to press yourself closer to him. You could feel him smile into your neck and it was easy to fall asleep.

He was your everything.

This family was your everything.

And if you knew what would happen next, you would have fought sleep to soak in the feeling of his arms one last time. You would have memorized the beating of his heart and the rise and fall of his chest. You would have traced every dark line that decorated his body. You would have held him a little longer.

You wouldn’t have taken the moment for granted, expecting thousands more in the coming years.

But you didn’t know what would happen so you didn’t, and the ache of regret would eat at you for the rest of your days.

The bond… it’s a beautiful thing.

Until it isn’t.

--

The village was devastated by the hunting of the Tulkun by the Sky People. They were their spirit brothers and sisters, and Jake didn’t have to say it for you to know it happened because you were here. They weren’t hunting the Tulkun, they were hunting you. When Jake took the tracker from Neteyam, you took his hand and he tried to reassure you as he squeezed your hand.

“You tell the Tulkun if they’re hit by one of these, they’re marked for death.”

Jake’s words hung heavy in the air. Neteyam gave you a look that told you everything would be okay, but your stomach still twisted. You came to the Metkayina to hide; to keep your people safe. You promised them you were done with war, but the war still followed you—and at the cost of their spirit siblings.

And because nothing ever came easy, Lo’ak was determined to warn Payakan himself. Neteyam followed Lo’ak, knowing his brother better than anyone and his suspicions were confirmed when he saw Lo’ak gathering a saddle for an ilu.

He shook his head, a frustrated smile on his lips, “no way, you’re not going, baby brother.”

Lo’ak wasn’t having any of it. “I have to warn Payakan,” he told his brother firmly.

“No. You have to keep your skxawng ass here,” Neteyam replied, gritting his teeth. For once, could he just listen to him.

But Lo’ak never did. “He’s outcast. There’s no one to warn him but me.”

Neteyam shook his head as he clenched his fist. “Bro, why do you always have to make things so hard?” Neteyam said exasperated as he touched the top of Lo’ak’s’ head, but Lo’ak quickly shoved him off as his eyes hardened.

“No. You mean why can’t I be the perfect son like you, a perfect little soldier. Well, I’m not you, okay? I’m not you. He’s my brother. I’m going.” Neteyam clenched his jaw as he stepped back, his brother’s words cutting him like a knife. If he only knew the weight of his words, but he didn’t and he never would as Neteyam swallowed back the bitter words threatening to spill out and he steeled himself as stepped closer to his brother.

“Oh, he’s your brother? No, I’m your brother,” his voice was hard as he stared Lo’ak down, but Lo’ak didn’t concede and he scoffed before he dove in the water, heading for Payakan and Neteyam knew he had to go after him.

“Neteyam!” You called as you came up behind him and he shook his head.

“He’s going to Payakan,” he told you and you were hot on his heels as he summoned his ilu, as were Tsireya, Kiri, Tuk, Ao’nung and Rotxo. But when you went to summon your own ilu, Neteyam put his hand on your stomach to keep you back. “I need you here where you’re safe,” he told you but you shook his head.

“I’m going, Neteyam.” He opened his mouth to argue, but your look silenced him. Wherever your mate went, you would follow.

His tail flicked as he clenched his jaw before he nodded. “With me then,” he said before he dove into the water and you followed his lead. You quickly settled behind him on his ilu and wrapped your hand around his waist while he held onto the reigns of the ilu with one hand, his other hand reaching back to hold your thigh, keeping you against him as he followed after Lo’ak to Payakan.

By the time you got to Payakan, Lo’ak was struggling against the red tracker buried in Payakan’s back while the others tried to help. You and Neteyam were quick to jump on and help, but the tracker was in deep and you realized quickly that the demon ship was rapidly approaching.

“Call dad,” Neteyam said to Lo’ak. “Just do it.”

He didn’t want to, he knew the trouble he’d be in, so he hesitated before he called Jake. Lo’ak’s words were muffled as you all focused on the tracker. Your heart raced as you kept glancing between it and the demon ship. “Come on, come on, come on,” you said as Neteyam tossed a rope up to Ao’nung who wrapped one end around the tracker while Neteyam wrapped the other end around the reigns of his ilu.

“Please, Eywa, please,” you whispered as you pulled and pulled and finally the tracker gave, and you all fell at the release of tension. Neteyam was quick to gather the tracker as Lo’ak told Payakan to go.

“Go, I’ll draw them away,” Neteyam told you, making your blood go cold. When you opened your mouth to argue, Neteyam shook his head. They were after the tracker and Neteyam couldn’t have it anywhere near you, your baby, or his siblings. “Take Tuk, I’ll see you after.”

You had no choice but to nod and you gathered Tuk and Kiri on Kiri’s ilu and led them into the seaweed for cover, but the submarines followed you. Your mind raced as quickly as your heart as your ilu weaved between plants and leaves, desperate for any cover, but there wasn’t any to be had. There was too many of them.

The submarines swarmed you, forcing you off the ilu and you kept your eyes on Tuk as you swam toward an air pocket, Lo’ak and Tsireya right behind you while Kiri ended up with Ao’nung and Rotxo. “They’re coming,” Tsireya said and you were all quick to dive back under, but it was useless. The submarines could move faster than you could swim.

It was over when they launched the net at you. You didn’t realize it was coming until it was too late, the net already surrounding you and the air left your lungs as you began to panic. Lo’ak managed to escape before it caught him and he pulled at the net trying to rescue you, Tuk and Tsireya, but it was no use. The net scooped you up and dropped you on board the demon ship. Your vision swam as you tried to catch your breath, your lungs burning, and before you knew it, you were bound to the demon ship’s rail.

You watched as Tuk, Tsireya and Lo’ak struggled against the bonds but you knew it pointless. You were stuck. You were stuck and your mate was somewhere out there. You felt useless as the Metkayina attacked the demon ship. When you came and begged for sanctuary, you had promised them there would be no more war and now the war was here and they’d die because of your family.

You looked Tuk and your heart sank at the terror in her eyes, and you were so focused on Tuk you didn’t notice Payakan until he was on top of you, desperate to save Lo’ak.

All hell broke loose after that.

“Don’t watch,” you told Tuk. “Keep your eyes on me, okay?” Neteyam had always been her favourite family member, but you were a close second given you were his mate. Her cheeks were wet with tears as she nodded. “Just keep your eyes on me, Tuk,” you repeated.

It was only when Neteyam jumped on board that you were finally able to take a deep breath. A smile played on his lips as he cut your bounds, then Tuk’s, then Tsireya’s before he reached his brother and cut him free. “Who’s the might warrior? Come on, say it,” he grinned as he touched Lo’ak’s head before he turned back to you.

“Bro,” Lo’ak smiled and reached for a gun while Neteyam had his back to him.

“Go, get out of here. Take Tuk. Go,” Neteyam said to you.

“Neteyam—” you tried but he shook his head.

“Go,” he repeated, begging you to listen to him, and you clenched your jaw as you tried to lead Tuk away, and Neteyam kept his eyes on you, desperate to make sure you and Tuk were safe. But when he heard the familiar click of a gun, he turned back to his brother.

“We have to go,” he said but Lo’ak shook his head.

“He has Spider. Come on, bro, we can’t lose him,” Lo’ak said and headed into the ship.

Neteyam protested under his breath before he followed after his brother. Lo’ak always had to make things difficult.

At the same time, they managed to grab Kiri. Tuk’s scream for her sister would forever be imprinted in your memory, but you had to get her to safety. Jake and Neytiri would get Kiri.

Except, Tuk fought your hold on her before she slipped free and headed back for the ship. “Sullys stick together,” she said and you grumbled under your breath before you abandoned your ilu and headed after her, needing to keep her safe.

“This isn’t a good idea, Tuk,” you whisper shouted at her, but she ignored you, desperate to save Kiri, and you were sure to be quiet as you followed her.

“Kiri!” She called when she saw her sister, slipping under the bars as you both tried to break Kiri’s bonds, but it was no use and an Avatar was quick to bind Tuk to the rail next to Kiri before shoving you back into the water. Your heart sank and you wanted nothing more than to jump up and fight and rescue them and keep them safe, but when the bullets hit the water, you knew it wasn’t an option and you called to a nearby ilu and quickly jumped on. You’d have to find another way to rescue them and you circled the water looking for any sign of your mate and Lo’ak.

You were granted a moment of relief when you saw Tsireya, but it was short lived as you realized she was alone and your heart sank. Tsireya pulled her ilu up beside yours and pursed her lips as she shook her head. Neteyam and Lo’ak had to still be on board.

Your heart twisted before a flash of cold went through your body and you gasped for breath under the water, the air bubbling around you as Lo’ak, Spider and Neteyam jumped into the water above you, bullets still raining around you.

No.

No.

You knew it. Before he could even say it, you knew, the freezing cold blooming in your chest that left you gasping for air as you resurfaced in the water.

“That was insane, cous,” the voice was muffled in your ears.

“Neteyam,” you breathed and reached out to him.

“You skxawng, I’ve been shot.”

Panic coursed through your veins and you swore you didn’t breathe as you wrapped your arm around him to keep his head above the water, the normally clear water stained red with his blood. Too much blood.

“You’re okay, you’re okay,” you said to both him and yourself, even as the ice in your chest melted to a sharp ache that shot down your arm and Neteyam’s expression twisted in pain.

The panic in Lo’ak’s eyes mirrored your own as he helped you get Neteyam onto the ilu before he pulled you on too. “Shit,” he hissed under his breath. Neteyam was a mighty warrior, the best of his age, but he was weak in his arms.

“They have Kiri and Tuk,” Tsireya tried to tell him, but the words never really processed for him.

“We can’t go back,” he replied and raced for the rocks, Tsireya and Spider holding on to the side if the ilu’s reigns. You kept your hand pressed against Neteyam’s chest as you moved through the water and his hand gripped your wrist tightly, needing to hold on to you, needing to anchor himself to you.

It only took a minute to get to the rocks, but it felt like hours. Lo’ak helped you carry Neteyam as he gritted his teeth in pain. Your chest felt tighter with every passing second and you didn’t know if it was your own anxiety, or your mate slipping through your fingers.

Your hands shook as you moved around him and your ears started to ring as you rolled him onto his side. The shot was clean through.

“It’s almost always better for the bullet to be clean through.” You could hear Jake’s voice in your head and you laid him back and put pressure on his chest as you begged Eywa to help you.

It was almost always better.

Almost.

Neteyam’s hands were coated in his own blood and he looked up at you with wide, terrified eyes before he grasped your bicep, his grip nowhere near as strong as it was when he held your wrist.

“You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,” you told him, willing your voice not to shake so you could be strong for your mate. He breathed your name before he scrunched his face up like he was trying to get away from the pain. “You’re going to be okay,” you repeated before pulling your eyes away from his as Jake and Neytiri settled around you.

“No, no, no,” Jake whispered as he perched across from you.

“Clean through,” you told him before he could ask, your ears back and hands red with Neteyam’s blood, and your heart dropped at the way his ears went back. “No,” you whispered, unable to muster your voice any louder before you looked back at your mate. He had to be okay.

He had to.  

“You’ll be okay,” Neteyam told you as he struggled to force air into his lungs.

The ache in your chest began to ease to a fuzzy feeling and you shook your head. “No, no, Neteyam.” You couldn’t lose him. You couldn’t. You wouldn’t survive it.

“You’ll both be okay,” he breathed, his voice softer than a whisper as he dropped his hand to your stomach.

“I see you; I love you,” you told him, desperately trying not to cry and you pulled one of your hands from his chest to cup his jaw, your thumb tracing the dark line that decorated the arch of his cheek.

“I know, I—”

Neteyam never finished his sentence and his hand dropped from your stomach, leaving a bloody handprint in its wake.

You felt the moment he died.

The warmth, the comfort, the unmistakable feeling of him, fizzled out, replaced instead with an unshakeable feeling of emptiness.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You were supposed to spend your life with him.

It was supposed to be you and him.

You and him.

You were lightheaded as you settled back on your haunches, your hands red with his blood and Lo’ak caught you as you swayed.

Numb.

The only way to describe the feeling was numb, like he had taken your soul with him when he died, leaving nothing but an empty shell in his wake.

And maybe he had.

The bond is beautiful, that’s what they tell you. But they never tell you of the anguish that comes with it.

You could separate your life into before Neteyam and after Neteyam. The before wasn’t important, it didn’t matter, because Neteyam was your world. He was your everything, your world spun on an axis of you and him. The People say you’re born twice, once when you are born and then again when you find your place among the people, and you were born again the day Neteyam chose you. And now all that was left of your mate was his bloody handprint and the world had the audacity to keep on spinning.

The ringing in your ears drowned out Neytiri’s blood curling scream for her first-born son, and you slouched into Lo’ak as you kept your eyes on Neteyam’s. His beautiful, golden, lifeless eyes.

You didn’t hear Jake ask Lo’ak where his sisters were. You didn’t hear Tsireya tell him they were on the ship. You didn’t hear Spider tell him to follow him. And you certainly didn’t hear Jake tell Lo’ak to stay and that he had done enough. You didn’t hear any of it as you kept looking at your mate, unable to pull your eyes away, no matter how painful it was.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

You only heard Lo’ak tell Tsireya he was going because he pulled back from you, jostling you enough to pull you from your trance to steady yourself. “Lo’ak, no,” she replied desperately, but there was no stopping him as he dove back into the water, leaving you alone with her and your mate’s dead body.

You didn’t know how long you two sat there in the silence, it could have been seconds or minutes or hours, before Tsireya broke it. “We should wash your hands,” she said softly.

You curled your hands into fists. You didn’t want to. Washing the blood off meant losing the only tangible part of your mate you had left. But you knew she was right, so you nodded and you moved on autopilot as she led you to the edge of the water. Your gaze was blank as she washed Neteyam’s blood off your hands, but you drew the line when she reached for your stomach.

“No,” you said sharply and gripped her wrist before she could touch you. Her ears went back as she nodded before she took your hand in hers as you sat back on the rock.  

You felt both empty and heavy at the same time as you sat there before Tsireya found her voice again. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, unsure of what else to say.

Your ears went back as you nodded, not trusting your voice. You opened and closed your mouth a few times before you looked over at her. “You and Lo’ak deserve better,” you whispered and touched your stomach, desperate to remind yourself of something worth living for.

Her ears went back even further as her shoulders dropped, but she followed your hand with her eyes. “He—” she started before she stopped herself. “Are you?” She asked instead.

You nodded again before you looked over at her with tears streaming down your cheeks. “I can’t do this on my own. I can’t do this without him.”

Her shoulders dropped as her ears went back again. She couldn’t imagine what you were feeling. “You won’t do this alone,” she told you softly. “You have the village behind you.”

You knew she only meant to comfort you, but her words only reminded you that Neteyam would never meet his child. “But I need him,” you whispered before you pulled your hand from her and pushed yourself away from the water’s edge.

Your heart broke all over again as you looked at your mate, laying there lifelessly, blood staining his beautiful blue skin. His eyes were still open as they stared at the sky above—at nothing. You couldn’t help the sob that escaped you as you looked at him before you reached out and softly closed his eyes. He’d look like he was sleeping, if not for all the blood.

But despite all the blood, you laid down next to him and gently put your head on his chest as you curled into him, your tail wrapping around his ankle.

His chest was silent and still and you wept into him, begging Eywa to give him back.

But she didn’t.

His chest never rose, his heart never beat, his skin never warmed, and his eys never opened.

He was gone.

Your beautiful mate was gone and there was nothing you could do to get him back.

--

The funeral was harder than you expected, having to say goodbye to his body as you, Jake and Neytiri lowered his body down to the Cove of the Ancestors. You knew that he was gone, that your mate was gone, that it was just a shell of his being, but you still wept, your tears burning your eyes more than the salt ever did.

Your lungs burnt as the air left you as you watched as the cove took his body, wrapping around him as it slowly consumed him, and just like that, he was gone, a piece of the ocean.

The way of water has no beginning and no end. The sea is around you and in you. The sea is your home, before your birth and after your death.

The first thing anyone heard when you resurfaced was your sob and you let Neytiri hug you as you sobbed into her shoulder. “My child,” she whispered as she held you close.

“It’s not fair,” you managed to get out between sobs.

“I know,” she whispered, her heart just as broken as yours.

Eywa holds all her children in her heart, but all you wanted was to hold him in your arms.

--

And if you thought the funeral was hard, visiting the Spirit Tree was even harder. Jake and Neytiri had gone soon after the funeral but took you days to get the courage to visit, to visit Neteyam.

Your tears disappeared into the salt water as you held your braid in your hand. Your heart ached in your chest, but slowly you let your tendrils connect with the Spirit Tree.

At first, all you felt was warmth as white consumed your vision, but then you were filled with the familiar view of the Forest, of your home. You smiled to yourself as you looked around, and just like that, Neteyam slipped out from between the trees, his battle belt and ikran eyewear on and your eyes watered as you looked at him, every bit the man you loved.

“Neteyam?” You asked and he smiled as he came around you, his tail wrapping around yours in a way he knew comforted you.

“Why are you crying, my mate?” He asked concerned he reached out to cup your jaw.

“I’m just happy to see you,” you told him breathlessly and you committed his smile to memory.

“I’m happy to see you, too, my mate,” he replied and you trailed your eyes over every mark on his body as your heart wept.

This wasn’t how it was supposed to be.

Neteyam was your everything, your best friend, your lover, your mate, the father of your child.

From the moment his braid meant yours, you felt him. You felt him in a way no one else could and no one else would. You felt his being. And too soon you had felt him go.

Memories of you two as children, growing up, becoming teenagers, and falling in love, flashed before your eyes and you took water into your lungs as you sobbed, forcing yourself to pull back from the spirit tree and returned to the surface, one hand treading water as you held your stomach with the other.

A boy, you thought suddenly, the Tsahìk abilities you had been training for finally showing themselves. You were having a boy.

The bond is a beautiful thing, but it’s also the most painful thing you ever experienced, the beginning and end of everything, of all that you are.

#neteyam #neteyam imagine #neteyam x reader #avatar #avatar the way of water #avatar twow #avatar twow spoilers #avatar spoilers #avatar imagine #avatar the way of water imagine #avatar twow imagine #avatar smut #avatar the way of water smut #avatar twow smut #neteyam smut #mine #i really dont know if posting this was a good idea but umm yeah throwing this into the abyss #if this flops i might just delete it lmao

[blue-jisungs]

silent hug

author's note. this is veeeery self indulgent bc my exams r killing me so yeah 👍

genre. hurt to comfort (i think?), classmates to friends ??? idk man just whipped n cute sunoo

summary. in which your classmate comforts you when you tear up in class :(

warnings. cursing, reader is in a bad place mentally,, kinda hinting to academic burnout? ,, crying :( + not proofread, sorry!!

word count. 1286

with a heavy sigh you plopped down on the chair, putting your bag on the desk. the walk from the bus stop to the university tired you out but at least you got four or five minutes before the classes started. so you rested your head against the bag and closed your eyes, taking in a little more sleep than you could get this morning.

the final season is coming to an end, finally. but weirdly enough, you don’t feel relieved. sure, there’s only three or four exams left – and you haven’t really studied for them but that’s a thing to do the day before, isn’t it? – but you can’t help but feel the exhaustion. your friends chat about how there’s less things to take then it was at the beginning, sure. but the closer you get to the midterm break, the less motivation you have. and the tiredness that accumulated throughout the whole month is seeking its way out.

which is why you’re a mess nowadays. promising yourself to study but ending up doing everything but studying, falling asleep at ungodly hours (and regretting it later)… or shutting yourself down from the world. your friends got used to it, everyone has their lives after classes after all. but you carry on with do not disturb on most of the time, missing out their conversations on chats and tiktoks they’ve sent you. sure, you could’ve read them later – but there’s a sinking feeling of guilt (and a dazzle of overthinking) that you’re such a shitty friend.

all of this causes your negative emotions to bottle up. and you know it’s not a good thing, especially when you feel like you’re about to cry when a minor inconvenience occurs. but you’re stronger than that, no? the thought of locking yourself in your room during the break keeps you alive, pushing the sadness – seemingly – away.

a sudden tap on your shoulder caused you to open your eyes and lazily shift your focus to your classmate, sunoo. you looked around and didn’t see your friends… well, they probably skipped the classes since some of them are careless just like that.

"it’s about to start" sunoo smiled gently and you noticed the way his ebony gaze lingered on you for a while longer. great, you should’ve put at least some foundation.

"thanks" you nodded and took out your ipad, the other hand rubbing your eye. here we go…

"i feel like… some people in this class don’t take my lessons seriously" the professor started and you froze, heart skipping a beat. he couldn’t possibly mean you, right? “the final exam is around the corner and some of you… did not too well on the quiz"

oh, well. it’s definitely aimed at you.

"i’ll hand them out at the end of the class and then run over your mistakes. now we’ll do a revision. and you better listen" the man says and you could swear his piercing gaze is drilling into your soul.

an unpleasant feeling of warmth creeped into your face and once again you curse yourself for not putting any makeup. sunoo glanced at you, a sad smile on his lips.

the professor approached you at the end, when all of the students already left. putting the paper sheet with a nasty P– on it, you frowned. hey, you passed!

"y/n, i’m really disappointed. i don’t know what’s going on but that’s the worst work of yours so far. pull yourself together. there’s so many major mistakes… spellings… it’s not an academic level. you were one point away from not passing this one" his words hit a cord in your heart, your palms beginning to sweat. he patted the paper and returned to his desk, grabbing his stuff.

and you didn’t even know when that happened – your sweaty palms shaking, breath getting stuck in your throat, vision blurry because of tears.

you packed your things and wanted to leave but your legs felt too weak. your professor left, causing you to end up all alone in the room.

you sniffed, trying to wipe out the tears but they seemed to have other plans.

"don’t cry, idiot. it’s fucking embarrassing" you breathed out to yourself, voice barely above a whisper.

"y/n, if you want… oh. are you okay?"

you would normally look up to see who that was but the realization of someone even seeing you in such state caused your face to redden even more. pulling your t-shirt up to hide your face in it, you felt like there was no way out: you couldn’t possibly stop crying. it was like your professor’s words triggered something.

"i’m… hey, it’s okay. did he say anything bad to you? or do?" someone approached you and you shook your head as a no. "can i stay here?"

you hesitantly peeled from your shirt and noticed sunoo. his gaze softened upon seeing your teary eyes, lashes wet and flushed face.

"just… don’t mind me" you mumbled and hid your face in your shirt again. you just couldn’t stand someone seeing you in such state, whether it was someone close or a stranger.

"i… i don’t know what he said but i’ve noticed that there’s something going on with you. and may have heard what your friends said... do you want to talk about it?" sunoo asked gently and all he could hear were the harsh sobs leaving your lips.

"they talk about me behind my back?" you whined, your shoulders shaking even more. his eyes widened. that was not the best thing to say…

"no, no! i mean they said you look really tired lately…" he explained hastily and suddenly you looked up. your shirt was soaked with tears and your face was a mess, your pupils blown and wet stains on your cheeks.

"i’m so tired, sunoo. i don’t think i can handle this anymore… and everyone seems to be doing great… just not me…" you mumbled, sending him a sad smile. the pearly tears balanced at the edge of your waterline, ready to spill. he shook his head.

"you’ve got this, i know you do. you got here somehow in the first place, no? if you want, i can help you. with anything. i’m not the smartest but i do understand some things so…" he stopped talking upon seeing your curious gaze.

"why are you doing this?” you asked, sniffling.

"i just… you’re my classmate in a need of help. i couldn’t stand there and not do anything when i heard you cry. and now there’s no way out, isn’t it?" sunoo joked and his face lit up. oh, this boy was a literal sunshine.

"you said everything?" you mumbled, unsurely. he nodded, a caring smile tugging on his lips "can… hmpfh… can i hug you…?"

the words were so quiet, sunoo barely heard them. but he noticed the begging look in your eyes and who was he to deny? it’s not like he would mind, either.

sunoo just opened your arms and you hugged him tightly, wrapping your arms around his waist. he patted your back soothingly, letting you let out all of your pent up stress.

a part of sunoo’s heart raced because he wouldn’t have ever imagined that he would hug his hallway crush. the other part which caused his heart to race was the embrace itself, your smell and you in general – and he was happy he could help you.

neither of you didn’t have to talk right now. a silent hug that expressed more than a sentences could ever. and both of you knew, sitting here glued to each other and in comfortable silence, that it was a beginning of a beautiful friendship.

masterlist <3

taglist. @primoppang ,, @laylasbunbunny ,, @slytherinshua ,, @kazmura ,, @nicholasluvbot ,, @weird-bookworm ,, @dazzlingligth ,, @w3bqrl ,, @ocean-minho ,, @s-e-s-a-l-e-n-e ,, @eternalgyu ,, @haecien

#enhypen sunoo #enha sunoo #sunoo fluff #kim sunoo #sunoo #sunoo scenarios #sunoo imagines #sunoo x you #sunoo soft hours #sunoo reactions #enha fluff #enha soft hours #enha scenarios #enha imagines #enha x y/n #enha x you #enha x reader #sunoo comfort #enha comfort #enha #enha soft thoughts

[honeyedmiller]

Fate, After All | Joel Miller — Epilogue

warnings: pregnancy, childbirth, cursing, mentions of smut but not super explicitly detailed, tooth-rotting fluff, no-outbreak! Joel, no use of y/n. also, I’ve never personally given birth so I have no idea how the whole process works lol this has major inaccuracy so just go with it pls :’) this is very poorly written and not my best work at all but y’know, Joel with a baby is precious

word count: 1k+

series masterlist

-

“Babe, what about this one?” You hold up a pink floral onesie to your protruding belly, looking up at Joel. You were at Target with him shopping for some last minute things before your daughter’s arrival.

It’d been a little over two years since you and Joel got married, and you found out you were pregnant eight months ago. You’ll never forget the look on Joel’s face when you showed him the multiple pregnancy tests you’d taken. You’d been feeling unwell for a few weeks prior to taking the tests, blaming it on stress from work. But then you missed your period, and you had an inkling that you might be pregnant.

Sure enough, you were right. You didn’t know who was more excited about it, though—Joel or Sarah. You were plenty excited and so ready to be a mom of two, but Sarah bawled her eyes out when she found out she was going to be a big sister and Joel would only talk about it for days on end.

You remember when you told your parents too, calling them up telling them that you and Joel could finally repay them for the honeymoon they’d so sweetly gifted you. Your mom cried tears of joy, and your dad got a little misty-eyed.

And when you and Joel found out the baby was going to be a girl? You both lost it. Joel loved being a girl dad so much, and he knew you’d been such a wonderful mother figure to Sarah, that you’d be the best mom to your little girl.

“I love it, darlin’.” Joel takes the onesie carefully from you, admiring how tiny it was. He’d completely forgotten how small newborns are.

You and Joel both thought for sure you were going to get pregnant on your honeymoon, with the way you two couldn’t keep your hands off of each other using every surface of your room possible to go at it. You had no idea your libido was so high. Neither did Joel.

Even now, with your hormones raging, you craved Joel so badly. He was terrified at first, not wanting to ‘hurt the baby’, but the nurses at the third ultrasound checkup told him it was completely okay—in fact, they encouraged it.

Joel was tender with you in bed (and in general) since you’ve been pregnant, and honestly, you thought it was so sweet. He wouldn’t let you lift a finger if he could help it, but you had to remind him that you had to do things for yourself, too. Though, you loved that he was so careful and gentle. He was before, but he’s a little bit moreso now.

Your focus shifted back to reality, Joel looking at you with a small smile.

“What?”

“You’re so beautiful, y’know that?” Joel asks as he steps to you, resting his hands on the sides of your tummy.

You huff a small laugh, shaking your head. “Sure don’t feel like it.”

“You’re glowing, sweetheart. You’re carryin’ our child and you look damn good doin’ it.” He leans down to kiss you gently.

“This baby has made you such a softie, Miller.” You tease, grasping the side of his face as he chuckles. The crow’s feet around his eyes showcase in fullness, displaying how truly happy he felt.

“What can I say? I love all three of my girls more than anything in the world.” He kisses your forehead, pulling back from you before picking up another pair of shoes that he shows you—big, soft, brown eyes on display for you.

-

A few weeks later, you’re sitting on the couch with Joel as you rest your eyes while he gave you a foot massage. You told him constantly that he didn’t need to do that, but he insisted on the sweet gesture. It was quiet in the house; it’d been that way since Sarah left for college. You and Joel were definitely lively people, but Sarah always kept the conversation going with her wittiness and smarts.

Recently, you’d been having Braxton Hicks, so pain would come and subside. You were due in only just a couple of days, so any time now your little one could choose her arrival. Your whole body was so sore and just the thought of even getting up to do something made you want to cry. You were extremely emotional even moreso now, and Joel was taking your moods graciously.

It wasn’t too late into the night, so when Joel’s phone rang, you knew it was Sarah. She’d do check-ins every couple of days to make sure you were okay, and just to say hi. She was planning on flying back to Texas the next day, so you were happy you got to see her soon.

“Hey babydoll.” Joel answered softly, probably thinking you were asleep by now.

“No, mom’s sleeping right now. Let her get some rest. I’ll call you immediately if anything happens or changes, okay?”

Your heart clenched in warmth at the fact that Sarah referred you to ‘mom’. She’d been doing that since you and Joel got back from your honeymoon, and you loved it every time. You truly don’t think you’ll get over it, probably ever. It meant a lot to you that she was comfortable with you and liked to call you that.

You shot your hand out to retrieve the phone from Joel, and he chuckled, handing it over.

“Hello?” You say, voice a little hoarse from not talking for awhile.

“Hey, mom! How are you?” Sarah’s cheerful voice rung through the other line, and you smiled softly.

“I’m hurting everywhere. Can’t wait to get your sister out.” You half-joke.

“I’m sorry you’re in pain. Tell dad to run you an epsom salt bath or something to relieve your pain.” The idea didn’t seem half bad, but the thought of getting up and moving seemed like hell.

“I think I’ve tortured your father enough the past nine months with mood swings and emotions.” You laugh, running your free hand over your hard belly. Joel shakes his head at you and cracked a smile, softly patting your shin.

“Tell him to suck it up. He’s not the one that has to push a whole human out of him.”

“I’m sure he’d love to hear that one.”

“I’ll tell him, don’t worry mom. Get some rest. I love you.”

You huff a laugh at her slight overprotectiveness. “I love you too baby girl, can’t wait to see you tomorrow. Have a safe flight, okay?”

“I will! Bye!” And the line went dead.

“I’d love to hear what?” Joel asks, cocking an eyebrow at you.

“I’ll let Sarah tell you that one.” You grin cheekily, handing his phone back to him. You were feeling really tired, so you groaned as you moved your legs off of Joel and sat up slowly.

“I’m gonna take me and this baby to bed. We’re tired.” You looked at Joel, who nodded.

“Let me join you.”

And that’s how the rest of the night went. Joel helped you upstairs, made sure you were comfy in bed, and got behind you to spoon you the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until around two in the morning that you felt a really bad contraction. You’d never had one this strong before, and when they kept coming at least fifteen minutes apart, you woke Joel.

“Joel.” You whispered, taking his hand that rested on your stomach to squeeze it. He didn’t wake at the first attempt, but another contraction washed over you, this time much more painful.

“Fuck. Joel.” You said louder, and this time, he groggily hummed.

“You okay sweetheart?” He sleepily said, and you gave his hand a squeeze.

“No. My contractions hurt really bad.” You say, and he sits up behind you.

“Do we need to go to the hospital?”

“I think so.”

Joel gets out of bed swiftly, putting on some sweats and a t-shirt before helping you sit up. You try to focus on your breathing, but the pain is really starting to bother you. He helps you dress into some biker shorts and an oversized t-shirt of his, grabbing your hospital bag before he helps you slip on your slippers with a grip at the bottom.

He leads you down the stairs ever so carefully, grabbing the keys and his wallet from the front table by the door before heading outside with you. He locked up as fast as he could and got you into his truck, helping you buckle in. Joel had completely forgotten about the rush and adrenaline that comes with having a baby. It’d been so long since he’s experienced it, so he was trying to keep it together as best as possible for your sake.

You closed your eyes as you rested your head on the back of the headrest, one hand gripping the door handle inside and the other one onto the seat.

Joel starts the truck up, throwing it into reverse before taking off down the road. Luckily there was barely any cars on the road at this hour, so you wouldn’t get stuck in any traffic.

Joel flipped open his phone and speed dialed Tommy, who picked up after the third ring.

“Hey, brother. What’s up?”

“Hey Tommy. We’re headed to the hospital now. Her contractions are pretty bad and not super far apart.” Joel explains, trying to drive to the hospital with urgency but also not break any laws.

“Oh, oh shit. Okay. Do you need me to do anything?”

“Uh, just– just pick Sarah up from the airport later today so you both can come to the hospital at the same time. I’ll call you if I need anything else. I gotta go.” Joel’s rushed words almost made his brother chuckle.

“You got it, brother. And Joel? Don’t worry. She’s got this, and so do you. Be the best support system you can be to her, yeah?”

“Yeah. Got it. I’ll call you when I can.”

“Bye.”

The line went dead as you both neared the hospital, and Joel luckily found parking near the front. He hopped out and jogged to the other side, opening your door to help you out of the truck. He grabbed the hospital bag and slung an arm around your lower back and around to the side of your tummy so you could lean yourself into him if you needed to. He locked the truck, walking at your pace up to the front doors.

The receptionist, who looked bored out of her mind, looked up beyond the glasses perched on the bridge of her nose.

“Um, my wife– she’s– her contractions are strong and not far apart.” Joel explains as you try to not think about the excruciating pain you’re feeling.

“Oh, honey, let’s get you checked in real quick and we’ll get you a wheelchair.” The receptionist asked Joel the few questions, because in all honesty, your mind was foggy and unfocused. You just wanted to lay down in a bed with some medicine that’ll make you feel better.

A nurse brought a wheelchair and took you up to the labor and delivery unit of the hospital, checking you into your room.

After you changed into the hospital gown, the nurses took some tests and checked how much you were dilated. You were too tired to even pay attention to what was going on around you, but one nurse tapped your shin softly.

“Hey mom, how’re you holdin’ up?” Her Southern drawl was strong, but she sounded sweet.

“‘M okay. In a bit of pain.” You mumbled, trying your best to look at her clearly.

“Well I have good news. You’re about five centimeters dilated, so you can get an epidural if you want one.”

“Please. This pain is nearly unbearable.” You chuckle nervously, and Joel grips your hand. You look up and him and smile as he leans down to give you a soft kiss.

“You’re doing amazing, mama.” He says, and you nearly melt into the bed. He was so damn sweet to you, even in the most challenging of situations.

“Alright, we’ll schedule you for one asap and get an anesthesiologist in here to give you one. Sound good?” She looks down at you, and you nod.

“Thank you.” You say before she exits the room, and it’s just you and Joel. Joel pulls up a chair beside the bed, taking your hand in his and kissing the back of it gently.

“Gotta call Sarah and my parents.” You murmur, eyes closing in exhaustion.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, I will right now.” Joel gave your hand a squeeze before you completely knocked out.

-

A few hours later, you woke up to see Sarah and your mom in the room. You’d been completely knocked out this entire time, except for when they gave you the epidural. Your surprise was evident to see them, and you smiled tiredly.

“You’re here.” You say, voice gravelly.

“Hey mom!” Sarah whispers, bending down to give you a hug and a kiss on the head.

“Hey kiddo. Where’s dad?”

“Went to get a cup of coffee with uncle Tommy in the cafeteria downstairs.” She smiles, and you nod. You look to your mom who had tears in her eyes, and you suddenly began to worry.

“Mom? What’s wrong?” Your voice is a bit panicked, and your heart rate on the monitor noticeably picked up.

“Oh nothing baby! Relax, relax,” She brushes your hair away from your face, cupping your cheek with her hand. “I’m just so happy for you. I’m happy you’re getting some rest.” She grins at you, and you nod.

“The epidural really knocked me out.” You chuckle, feeling a strong pressure in your pelvic area. You wince, shifting uncomfortably.

“Oh baby, that’s a contraction. Nurse said you’re about seven centimeters now.” She said, and your eyes widen. Before you could respond, there was a soft knock at the door as Joel and Tommy appeared.

“Hey sweetheart. How you feelin’?” Joel asks as he sets his cup of coffee down, kissing your forehead.

“Tired, but fine.” You weakly smile, and Tommy bends to give you a hug.

“You got this sis. Squeeze Joel’s hand as haaard as ya need to.” He winks at you, and you laugh.

“Well he is the one who got me like this after all.” You quirk an eyebrow, and Joel holds his hands up in defense.

“Hey hey hey, it takes two to tango darlin’.” He says.

“That it does.” Exhaustion was overwhelming you, and your eyes were starting to drift close without you even noticing.

“Let’s let her and Joel have some privacy. Let her get some rest.” Your mom suggested, leaving Sarah and Tommy to follow out of the room after her.

“Come cuddle with me.” You weakly reach out to Joel, and he huffs a laugh.

“Pretty sure ‘m not supposed to get on the bed with you, darlin’.”

“Who cares. I want my husband to hold me.” You pout, and he softly chuckles. You hear him take off his boots, carefully climbing into the small hospital bed with you. He wraps his arms around your shoulders as you nuzzle yourself into his chest, his scent and warmth surrounding you. You were out like a light again in no time.

It didn’t even feel like five minutes later to you when you’d been woken up by the nurse, but apparently it’d been a couple more hours.

“Hey hon. You’re almost fully dilated. We’re gonna need to prep you.” The nurse spoke softly, and you looked at Joel who was sitting in the chair next to your bed. His head rested on the side of the bed as he held your hand in his. You smiled softly at the sight before regretfully shaking him awake.

“Babe. Wake up.” You coo softly, and he opens his eyes. He looks at you wearily, trying to wake up fast.

“You okay?” He asks, rubbing his thumb on the back of your hand.

“Yeah. Nurse says I’m almost fully dilated so they have to prep me now.” You give his hand a squeeze, and he nods.

“You’ve got this, baby. I’m going to be right by your side through it all.”

And he was right. He was.

Once you were fully dilated, they had you starting to push, and god you’ve never felt a more soul crushing pain in your life. You were trying to steady your breathing, but it was getting harder for you to focus. Pain overtook your whole being and you started to sob.

“I can’t do this, I can’t do this.” You cried, shutting your eyes tightly.

“Yes you can, baby. You’re doing so good. So good. She’ll be here in no time.” Joel encouraged, clasping your hand as he kissed your temple repeatedly. He kept whispering sweet encouragements into your ear, being the supporting husband you knew he’d be. You just couldn’t fathom the pain you were going through.

“I can see the head, mama! Just a couple of more big pushes and she’ll be out.” The nurse was trying to talk you through it.

It’s like the next few pushes you completely blacked out—all you remember is the sound of your silent screams, a ‘there she is! I see her!’ from the nurse, and the sweet cry of your baby girl.

“She’s here, mama. You did it! Congratulations!” The nurse set her onto your bare skin, and you sobbed. You looked down at her, then up at Joel, who’d also happened to be crying. He gave you a kiss and rubbed the back of your head as he looked back down at his newest daughter.

The nurses took her to get her cleaned and weigh her before swaddling her and giving her back to you.

“She’s perfect.” You cry, knuckle running over her cheek as gently as possible.

“She is. You did it, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. She’s here.” Joel cried, and you leaned in to him as he looked down at the both of you.

“So what’s her name?” The nurse asks, smiling at the three of you.

“Sophia Evelyn Miller.” Joel says, his chest swelling with pride. You gently handed him his tiny daughter, as she cooed softly in his strong arms. She was safe and sound, a silent promise Joel made to all three of you that he would love and protect his girls until the end of time.

You’d given Joel everything he ever wanted—a loving wife, a mother figure to his first daughter, a bigger family, and a house he could call a home with you and his girls in it. He doesn’t know how he got so lucky, but his heart was so full with love and pride. So much love for his three girls, and pride to call you his wife and Sarah and Sophia his daughters.

This was really the fate that the universe brought upon you two—

One you both will always cherish forever.

a/n: ahhh it’s finally done :’) sorry this epilogue wasn’t really all that great, I just wanted to give Joel the endgame with his new daughter and wife lol

hope u guys enjoyed this mini series <3 love u all forever. muah

#joel miller imagines #joel miller fic #joel miller series #joel miller fluff #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x female reader #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel miller x afab!reader #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal imagine

[justagalwhowrites]

Yearling - Ch. 30: Blood

Joel and Tommy run into trouble on patrol. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-29 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. Plot points from TLOU2. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 7.5k

A/N: Hi y’all, I’m stashing this whole chapter below a jump because it’s been brought to my attention that the major event of this chapter is less common knowledge and more of a spoiler than I really realized it was. There is a major plot point for TLOU2 below. I’m sorry I didn’t tag the whole fic that way (going back to update that now) and I apologize if this spoiled things for people who were trying to go in blind. This is the first chapter with any big overlap and if you want to bow out now, I totally understand. My DMs are open if you want to know more without full spoilers and if there’s a way to keep reading without knowing the plot of TLOU2.

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

“Dina kissed me.” 

“What!” You yelped and Ellie’s eyes went wide before she clamped a hand over your mouth. 

“Shhhh!” She looked around, her breath rising in front of her. But the only people out right now were inside the stable, a good 50 feet behind you and far enough away that you doubted any of them heard you, even if you were loud. “Jesus, Bambi…” 

She released your mouth and you tried not to giggle. 

“Sorry,” you whispered. “Good for you, kiddo! Told you not to count the girl out because she also fucks men…” 

“There’s no way she meant it,” Ellie rolled her eyes. “Get real.” 

“Why not?” You asked, brows raised. “Why shouldn’t she mean it?” 

“Because she’s Dina,” Ellie said, as though that explained everything. You just looked at her and she rolled her eyes again. “She was just trying to stir shit up because her and Jesse split up…” 

“Uh huh.” 

“And I was convenient,” she finished. “That’s it, that’s all it was…” 

“And you know this because you asked her, I’m sure.” 

“Fuck off,” she snapped. “Look, I didn’t drag you out here to figure that shit out…” 

“You sure about that?” 

“I dragged you out here,” she said, ignoring you, “to try and figure out what the fuck I’m supposed to do now.” 

“Kiss her again,” you shrugged. “That’s what I’d do…” 

“I’m being serious!” She hissed at you. “I have to go on patrol with her in like half an hour, what the fuck am I supposed to do?” 

You sighed and smiled a little, putting your hands in the pockets of the coat Joel had given back to you that morning. He said he hadn’t been wearing it but it had to have been hanging close enough to things he did wear and it smelled a bit like him. 

“First, you need to calm down,” you said gently. She looked like she was going to snap at you but you silenced her with a look. “I know it’s hard but regardless of how you want this to turn out, try not to be in your own head about it, OK? She’s still your friend and I’m guessing you want her to stay your friend, right?” 

“Duh.” 

“So eloquent,” you said and she rolled her eyes. “Look, you have two options. You can pretend it never happened and see if she brings it up or you can be up front about it and ask her.” 

“Is there a way to bring it up without looking like a desperate fucking loser?” She asked, brows raised. 

You shrugged. 

“Tough line to walk but I think you’ve got it in you.” 

“Jesus…” 

“Ellie,” you took her shoulders and made her actually face you. “It will be OK. Might be awkward for a bit but it’s not the end of the world. I promise. You can talk to her. She’s your friend for a reason and it’s because you’re kind and you’re smart and you’re funny. Even without the help of Will Livingston. None of that shit changes just because you kissed. Alright?” 

“Yeah,” she said, dropping her head to your shoulder with a heavy sigh. You put your arms around her and gave her a little squeeze but when she pulled back from you, her eyes were narrowed. “You’re in a weirdly good mood.” 

You frowned. 

“No I’m not.” 

“Uh yeah, you are,” she said, stepping back and looking you up and down as though she she were inspecting you. You just raised your eyebrows at her, expectant, when her mouth dropped open for a moment before she shifting to a shit eating grin. 

“Ellie…” 

“You fucked Joel!” 

“We need to have another conversation about the fact that what happens between my legs is none of your business,” you muttered, turning her around to head back toward the stable. 

“No we don’t,” she said. “This is great, you two have been so depressing the last few months…” 

“We have not!” 

“Please,” she rolled her eyes. “You were basically dead for weeks and Joel barely left the house for who knows how long.” 

“That… was less recent,” you said. “And it’s not your job to worry about us so let’s just…” you stopped just short of the stable doors. “How did you know?” 

“Know what?” 

“About…” you lowered your voice. “Joel. Not that I’m admitting to anything.” 

She smirked. 

“That coat’s been hanging in his front closet since you left.” You looked down at yourself and groaned. Her cocky smile grew. “You wanted the coat again. Bingo.” 

“Well just… keep it to yourself, alright?” You said, heading for the door. “I have no idea how to handle this with Savvy yet so cool it for bit. Please.” 

“I can keep my mouth shut you know,” she said as you opened the door to the stable and she went in. She opened her mouth to keep talking but Dina came up to her, smiling, and she froze instead. 

“Hey Ellie,” she smiled a little bigger before looking at you. “Bambi, good to see you.” 

“You too,” you said, clapping Ellie on the shoulder. “Have fun out there.” 

She glared at you over Dina’s shoulder and you just shrugged and winked at her before taking care of the final things you needed to before getting everyone out the door on patrol. 

You seriously considered, for a moment, taking Joel’s hand and just dragging him back home when he told you that you’d be going out separately. Things with him were so raw and delicate and new again. Neglecting it for two days felt dangerous somehow, a tension setting into your limbs before you and Julie headed out. 

You were always last to leave the stables, always waiting until you knew the rest of the patrol was situated even though you knew Olivia could handle things just fine without you. She smiled - a vaguely amused look on her face - as you went back over everything for the third time. 

“I promise, it’s all good,” she said eventually. “Please go focus on killing infected and staying safe and leave managing the horses to me.” 

On the way out of town, you stopped by where the working dogs were kept and asked if you could bring Gatling along, Julie looking a little skeptical as the dog jumped on Renaissance and settled between your legs, her head draped over your bicep. 

“Used to ride like this with her all the time,” you said, kissing the top of the dog’s head. Gatling licked her lips once and curved her body into yours as you sat back in the saddle to make sure she had room. “I’ll let her down once we’re good and underway, she’ll keep up. She’s great at spotting infected and I’m guessing she could be a great patrol dog once we get her adjusted to working with more than just me…” 

“She definitely looks like she can hold her own,” Julie said, watching as Gatling started scanning the horizon, her ears perked and listening, ready to jump off your horse and run down any apparent threat. “What kind of dog is she, anyway?” 

“She’s a Belgian Malinois,” you said, giving her a scratch behind the ears. “They were police and military dogs before. She saved my ass from infected more than once and she kept my girl alive when I couldn’t…” You kissed her head again and she turned to lick your cheek before going back to watching for threats. “She’s a good girl.” 

“Good to know I’ve got someone out here who can really watch my back,” Julie teased lightly. “Not sure I trust you to do it…” 

“Why not?” You asked, gaping at her. “I’m a great shot, keep you alive no problem…” 

“You forget I saw you trying to show Ellie and Savvy how to shoot a basketball that one time,” she smiled a cocky smile. “You barely hit the backboard…” 

“OK shooting a basketball is a completely different animal,” you waved her off. “Where it counts, my aim is solid. Saved Tommy once.” 

“Bullshit.” 

“It’s true,” you said, nudging Renaissance a little faster. “Ask Joel…” 

“Joel, hm?” She brought her horse alongside yours. “Things happening there?” 

You tried to hide your smile but felt the edges of your mouth curve up, anyway. 

“Good for you!” Julie said. “Both because you’re my friend and I want you to be happy but also because I like being right and goddammit, if I’m going to get shot down for a man of all people at least it’s a man I was right about.” 

You laughed a little before you remembered you had things weren’t just magically fixed with Joel yet.

“Do me a favor and don’t mention it to anyone?” You said, looking down at Gatling. “I need to tell Savvy…” 

The dog looked up to you at the mention of her name and you gave her a small scratch. 

“Oh, right,” Julie winced a bit. “Yeah, that might be rough.” 

“Yeah,” you sighed heavily. “I need to figure out a way to do this without losing both of them. I can’t do that again, I just… I can’t.” 

“You’ll figure it out,” she said gently. “It will be OK. Just have to believe it, it’ll happen.” 

“I’ll do my best,” you smiled a little at her. “How’s shit with Karen, by the way?” 

“Oh God,” she laughed. “I’m not sure how much I should tell you…” 

The patrol was easy enough until the snow started flying. It was still, the two of you talking, Gatling sometimes running ahead and acting more like a puppy than you remembered her being before, making you smile. It felt like if she could be like this - young and free and more than what survival had made her - so could Savvy. She would get there someday. You could get her back and make her understand once she was ready. 

Once the snow picked up, you and Julie decided to hunker down instead of pressing on to what was meant to be your final spot for the day. Though you were pretty sure you were only an hour or so shy of it if the weather weren’t working against you. 

“OK this is bullshit is what this is,” Julie said as she stomped snow off her boots and shook it out of her hair. You laughed a little as you got a fire going in the fireplace of the old house you’d reached for the night. It was just at the edge of a small subdivision, a spot you’d ridden past before but never spent much time in. The two of you had gotten the horses settled in the garage and Julie had done a quick walk around the immediate area to make sure there were no threats before coming in to settle for the night. “White, fluffy bullshit.” 

“Not getting you in the holiday spirit?” You teased. “Thanksgiving is coming up, Christmas right after that…” 

“Yeah, I’m already counting down until spring,” she said, shucking her coat and joining you by the fire. “I can only live with this for so long.” 

“I kinda like it,” you said as the fire caught the larger log and you watched it start to go up. “I like that seasons actually change here. It definitely made it easier to mark the passage of time when I didn’t have a calendar.” 

“Well I guess when you put it that way,” she sighed dramatically and you laughed. “But now that you’re in Jackson, we’ll keep you straight on the passage of time. The snow can go.” 

Julie had brought a bottle of whiskey from the Bison - “A perk of the job,” she said - and you were reminded of sleepovers when you were in high school when you and your friends would swipe booze from your parents’ liquor cabinets and get drunk around a bonfire. 

“I feel like we’re going to regret this in the morning,” you said, snug in your sleeping bag on the floor as the fire dimmed, head fuzzy and limbs tingling from the alcohol. Gatling’s head rested on your stomach.

“We can just sleep in a bit,” she scoffed and you heard her adjust on the couch. “What are they gonna do, fire us from patrol for running late? Doubt it.”

You laughed a little. 

“Guess there’s not much to contend with out there right now, anyway,” you said, closing your eyes. “Been quiet as hell all day. Doubt it’ll change overnight.” 

“It’d better not,” she said, sounding sleepy. “Better not be more snow, either.” 

You laughed once. 

“Better snow than infected,” you said. “Or raiders.” 

She didn’t respond and the room was quiet for a moment before you heard a soft snore coming from the couch. 

You laughed and then sighed, pulling a hand from the sleeping bag to scratch Gatling behind the ears. She sighed and curled up tighter to you. 

“It’s gonna be different when we go back,” you whispered to her, absently stroking one of her soft ears. “You can still come home with me, though. Maybe sleep with Savvy instead for a bit. I’m sure you miss her.” 

You tried to think about how to tell Savvy about Joel. It would have been a hard conversation under any circumstance, you thought. Not one you’d ever thought you’d need to have when you’d started caring for her. The idea of being with anyone long term then had been so foreign it hadn’t even crossed your mind. After Marisa, you’d given up on that. Just the occasional lover when there was a woman around who was interested as she was passing through had been enough. 

But Jackson was different. Joel was different. You had safety and security in Jackson and you loved Joel in a way you’d never thought you’d find, especially not after spending so long alone. But how could you tell Savvy something that you knew would hurt her? How could you tell her anything at all when she hadn’t spoken to you in weeks? 

“She’s gonna come around, right?” You whispered to Gatling. You felt her lick her lips and sigh against you. You closed your eyes but left your hand on the dog. “I’ll get her to trust me again. I will.” 

When the pounding on the front door woke you up, you were barely even aware you’d been asleep. But it was daylight outside and Gatling was standing near the front door, crouched low and snarling. 

“Wha…” Julie lifted her head, a groggy look on her face. 

“I got it,” you said, head spinning as you shoved your way out of your sleeping bag. “You stay put.”

“Thank fuck,” she groaned, dropping her head back on the couch and draping her arm over her eyes. You laughed and shook your head, going for the door. 

“Gatling.” The dog looked up at you, ready to obey. “Heel.” 

She fell back from the door and went to your leg, still tight against you, as you opened the door. 

“Glad I found you,” Gene, Jesse’s patrol partner said, pushing past you into the house without waiting for an invitation. “It’s a mess out there…” 

“That’s why we stopped here for the night,” you said, leaving the door open and nodding to Gatling, who immediately ran outside to pee. You waited by the door and let her back in, the dog sticking to your side again. 

“We can’t be that late getting out of here,” Julie grumbled, sitting up and pinching the bridge of her nose. “Not that it’s not just a blast to see you, Gene…” 

“We’re missin’ people,” he said, more to you than Julie. 

“What?” You frowned, crossing your arms over your chest, the after effects of the alcohol suddenly fading fast. “What do you mean we’re missing people, who are we missing?” 

“Joel and Tommy,” he said. “They never made it where they were supposed to last night and we can’t find ‘em….” 

“They probably stopped for the night like we did,” Julie waved him off. “Did you not see the weather last night? It was a shit show…” 

“Probably,” Gene nodded. “But they’d have made it there by now and we didn’t see them comin’ back down, either. No sign of ‘em. Ellie and Dina weren’t where they were supposed to be, either, but we at least found a fuckin’ trail for them, sent Jesse on to get them back in one piece…” 

You were already moving to put your boots on, heart pounding, Gatling giving you a small whine. You put a handful of jerky on the ground for her and refilled her water dish before you started packing up your sleeping bag. 

“I’m sure they’re fine…” Julie said, actually sitting up in the sleeping bag now, her legs pulled into her chest and watching you closely. 

“We should split up,” you said, pulling on your coat. “Cover more ground…”  

“Don’t know if that’s smart…” Gene began but you cut him off. 

“I can handle myself,” you said, harsher than you’d really meant to. “I’ve got Gatling, I’ve got my guns, I’ve got my axe. That’s all I had for 20 damn years and I made it just fine then. If you’re worried, you and Julie can stick together but I’m not gonna sit here and talk about how to minimize risk when they’re out there dealing with who knows what…” 

“Bambi,” Julie said gently, getting off the couch and taking you by the shoulders. “It’s OK.” 

“No,” you shook your head. “It’ll be OK when I find him in one piece, then it’ll be OK, I’m not…” 

“Gene and I will go one way,” she cut you off. “You and Gatling go the other. We’ll cover more ground. OK?” 

Gene sighed, looking between the two of you. 

“You got a death wish, don’t make me stop you,” he said gruffly. “Gonna go get my horse some water, we can head out.” 

You watched him go, a nervous energy coursing through your body. 

“Hey,” Julie said, taking your face carefully in her hands and making you look at her. “It is OK. It’s Joel and Tommy. They’re very, very good at this. They’re OK.” 

There was a pinch of tears at the back of your throat that you had to fight to swallow past. She took your hands, giving them a squeeze. 

“I can’t lose him now,” your voice was thick. “I just got him back, I can’t…” 

“I know,” she said softly, a sad smile on her face and you were struck, for a moment, by just how pretty she was. She pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, her lips lingering on your skin for a second, before she pulled back. “We’ll find him. We will.” 

“Thank you,” you nodded and took a deep breath, one tear slipping free, before looking down at your dog who was watching, ready and waiting. 

“Gatling, heel.” 

She moved to be immediately with you and you went to the garage, quickly saddling your horse and mounting up. You called Gatling up and she settled at the front of your saddle, already watching for incoming threats with her ears perked as you set off. 

You pushed Renaissance harder than you should have through the deep snow, trying to reach some part of Joel and Tommy’s patrol path so you could find some sense of where they might have gone. 

It wasn’t long before you found the path cut by a group of infected. A large one, judging by the footprints in the snow. You didn’t see a sign of Joel or Tommy but the swath of disturbed snow and brush from the hoard as so thorough you doubted you’d be able to tell if two horses had come that way, too. And, knowing Tommy and Joel, they’d have tracked the infected…

You looked higher for a moment, above where people would disturb branches and realized some branches on trees were clean of snow - too high for a person to bump on their own but just the height a tall man on horseback would hit. 

“Goddammit,” you muttered, steering Renaissance in that direction and pushing her on. 

The horse was breathing hard and heavy when you reached a mansion outside the normal patrol area, fully gated with piles of dead infected outside. You looked through your binoculars and saw tracks from the horses leading inside. But something about it set you on edge. Something wasn’t right. 

You commanded Gatling down and tied Renaissance to a tree that provided at least some shelter. 

“Back soon,” you said quietly, giving her a scratch and offering her an apple from your pack. You made sure your weapons were loaded, rifle at the ready, handgun and knife at your hip, axe across your back. Gatling looked at you, licking her lips once, waiting for a command. 

“Gatling, heel,” you said. “Hunt.” 

She latched onto your side like glue, crouched lower and keeping her mouth closed and you moved as quickly as you could for the gates of the mansion. 

There was no one guarding the place that you could see but you closed the gate behind you. If that had been enough to keep infected out before, you weren’t about to argue with it now. There were signs of plenty of people here, footprints of various sizes all heading for shelter inside. You tried not to think about the fact that you might have to torture information out of someone who left those footprints. If they had taken Joel and Tommy’s horses, you’d have to work quick to find what they knew so you could get to them. Torture could be the best option and, if it meant saving their lives, it was a price you were happy to pay. Because they had to still be alive, they had to be. 

The mansion was dark and almost eerily still. It reminded you of some of the places you’d visited when dropping of horses you’d trained to be trail animals for rich assholes before the outbreak, the trappings of extreme wealth couched in some idyllic, fictional version of the wild west. People who in places like this couldn’t handle the real thing. Real wildness would chew them up and spit them out. 

You crept through the house, looking for some sign of people, too afraid to call for Joel and Tommy and potentially bring down who knows how many people on you when you heard it, an agonized cry in a voice you knew, one you knew better than almost anyone else. 

“Joel,” you breathed, and you were running, Gatling at your heels. 

You knew that you should stop, assess, try to form a plan but he screamed again and you plowed ahead. A plan didn’t matter, all that mattered was one thing: getting to Joel. 

You had to get to him. 

He had to be OK. 

He had to be. 

*** 

Joel knew what it was like to die. 

He’d come close enough enough times over the years. Even before the apocalypse began he had a few near shaves. A fall off a ladder at a job site and the thought of “this is it” as he crashed down, the contemplation of what would happen with his daughter if he was gone, if he’d done enough to make it that she would be OK. A car accident that knocked him out and disoriented him enough that, for a moment in the hospital, he thought he was dead. 

The times since had been different, more acute. For a while, it felt like dying would have been a mercy. There was some innate biology that kept his body pushing to survive when his mind saw death as a welcome outcome when he got stabbed or shot when he was taking what he needed to survive or getting the shit kicked out of him when he got overrun smuggling. 

This, though, was something else. He didn’t want to die anymore, not really. He had you and Ellie and even Savvy. He had a reason to live now - live, not just survive - and he wanted it, wanted that life that was hanging there, so tantalizingly close on the horizon as heat of his blood pooled around him. 

He still wasn’t entirely sure what happened, how he’d ended up here like this. He’d reached the girl he’d seen through the binoculars as she damn near got bit, he’d shot the infected and pulled her up just as its teeth were getting close to her neck. 

“We gotta move!” Tommy yelled, shooting another infected. 

Joel gave the girl a once over as quick as he could. 

“You bit?” He asked. She was panting for breath but shook her head. “Got a gun?” She nodded. “Good, let’s go.” 

He tucked her behind him and led the way, trying to find a way through and out. There were dozens of infected, riled up and searching for something to sink their teeth into, desperate for someone to turn. 

“Shouldn’t be this damn many!” Tommy yelled as they scrambled back toward the horses. “Why are there this damn many?” 

“Worry about that later!” Joel snapped, dragging the girl along behind him. She stopped and shot two that were getting too close for comfort and, even in that moment, Joel could appreciate that she was a good shot. “We have to get the fuck away from here, try and lose ‘em…” 

“Think we can get all the way back to town?” Tommy asked, reloading his gun. 

“Hell no,” Joel shook his head. “Need to find somewhere else to hole up…” 

“My friends,” the girl said, looking between the two of them. “We’ve been staying at a mansion, not far from here. It’s got a fence around it, we’ve got the perimeter secure, if we can get there we’ll have help…” 

Joel and Tommy looked at each other. It was unlikely a girl this young would be running with raiders, more likely a group just passing through as they headed for the coast from a QZ. Tommy shrugged and Joel looked back to her. 

“Right,” he said. “We’ll head there, we got horses outside, you can ride with me and just tell us where to go. I’m Joel, that’s my brother Tommy, we’re from a settlement a few hours from here…” 

“Joel,” she said, something shifting in her eyes when she said it. 

“Right,” Joel said, not paying much attention. That seemed stupid, now. But he’d been so worried about Ellie, about you, about getting out of there to make sure you both were OK. “What’s your name, kiddo?” 

“Abby,” she said, an odd twinge in her voice. “My… I’m Abby.” 

They made it to the horses by the skin of their damn teeth, infected at their heels the whole way. 

The kid was right, at least. The mansion was secure, her friends clearing the area with molotov cocktails, infected burning just outside the gates. 

“Jesus Christ that was close,” Tommy laughed, clapping Joel on the shoulder. “Fuck, ain’t come that close in a while…” 

“Couldn’t get a good look at ‘em,” Joel said, looking back at the burning bodies. “See any bullet holes? Any sign they might have run into the girls?” 

Tommy’s giddy smile over surviving faded and he gave Joel’s shoulder a squeeze. 

“I’m sure they’re alright, Joel,” he said. “Shit, Bambi’s a deadeye. And you taught Ellie everything you know. They probably didn’t even come across these fuckers and if they did, they’re fine. They’re fine, both have made it through worse than a few infected…” 

“We should get inside,” Abby said, looking more at one of her friends than at Joel. “Now.” 

Things seemed normal then. Tommy was trying to get the group to come back to Jackson, Joel was worrying about you and Ellie. 

And then they introduced themselves to the group and it shifted. Just like it had with Abby, the change sudden and sharp. 

“Y’all act like you’ve heard of us or somethin’,” Joel said, thinking it was a joke. His mind was still elsewhere, still on you, still on Ellie, still on making sure you both were OK. He wanted to be back in Jackson, back in his quiet house, back in bed with you, pillows actually brought up from the living room and you close enough that he could trace little patterns over your soft skin. 

“Because they have.” 

He didn’t even see the shot coming, didn’t have a chance to warn Tommy to run, his brother on the ground - unconscious? Dead? He wasn’t sure - before he could even think. Joel screamed as the bullet tore through his leg and he went down, straining to get to Tommy through the pain but they swarmed him, these kids his brother had just been trying to talk into coming back to Jackson. They held him down, his back to a wall as Abby knelt in front of him, her face twisted into a snarl. She looked so different than she had when he’d first spotted her, alone and afraid and cornered the way he was now. 

“Joel Miller,” her teeth were gritted, the rifle tight in her grip. 

“Who are you?” He managed, pulling against the people at his arms, people who looked like kids, fucking kids. 

“Guess.” 

“Look,” he grunted and gave his arms a yank but they thrust him back against the glass. “Don’t know what I did to ya but I know I didn’t do it on purpose. Done a lot of shit in my time but I don’t hurt kids and you’re a bunch of kids…” 

“You kill my dad on purpose?” She pressed the barrel of the gun to his chin. “You slaughter a whole hospital of people who were just trying to save humanity on purpose?”

Joel’s stomach dropped. Of course. Of course saving Ellie would come back for him. Of course now that he finally had a life that was worth living it was getting ripped away for the one thing he couldn’t regret. 

“I did what I had to do,” he said, trying to free himself again, even though he knew it was futile. “But it was just me. Do what you need to do, make whatever speech you got saved up, but leave my brother out of it.” 

She squared her jaw, a look of disgust on her face as she got to her feet. She shoved her gun into the hands of the man - barely a man, almost still a boy, Joel thought - beside her. 

“Tourniquet his leg,” she snapped. The others looked around, hesitating. “Do it!” 

She stalked off as another girl obeyed, Joel trying not to scream through the pain as she tightened the belt around his leg. His head was still spinning when she came back into view, a golf club in her hands. 

“You don’t get to ask me for a damn thing,” she looked at him with so much rage, so much hate that, for a moment, he pitied her. That someone so young was so angry and in so much pain, that her father had cast his lot in with a bunch of child killers and paid with his life, leaving her alone, was tragic. “And you don’t get to rush this.” 

She jerked her head toward the people holding him in place and they looked at each other for a moment before stepping back. He tried to move but his leg was fucking useless and Abby swung the club, catching him in the arm before she forced him all the way to the floor with a pained cry. 

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been here now. Consciousness was hazy. So was the feeling in his limbs. At times, it was like he was floating, far outside his body and somewhere far softer and warmer and kinder than here. Part of him was back in his living room, almost a year ago now, on Christmas Eve when it was just you and him and he buried himself inside the hot clutch of your body by the glow of the holiday lights. He was lost in the feel of you, so soft and warm below him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt closer to another person in his life, lacing his fingers with yours and looking into your eyes as you came. He’d promised to take care of you then and he’d meant it, he’d meant it so far beyond that moment inside of you, he’d meant it for the rest of his life he’d take care of you. 

He just hadn’t thought it would be so soon. 

At least, he thought, he’d made things right with you. At least he’d gotten to tell you that he loved you again, at least he wasn’t dying wondering if you could ever have forgiven him. At least things were right with Ellie, at least she’d loved him again and she’d let him love her the way she deserved to be loved. At least she had you and Savvy now, people who would love her that way, too, and make sure she was OK. She was going to need someone to make sure she was OK when he was gone, she was so stubborn and she tried to be so much stronger than she needed to be. She needed someone. So did you. 

At least he’d get to be with Sarah again. She was so much closer now than she’d been before, barely out of reach now, somewhere quiet and safe and peaceful. Just far enough away that what was happening now couldn’t reach her. At least she wasn’t seeing this. At least you and Ellie weren’t seeing this.

Something shifted in the room, the club not landing on Joel’s body again, chaos drawing him back into his body again. 

Everything hurt, like he’d been put through a meat grinder. He wasn’t sure he’d ever hurt this much, at least not physically. Every breath was pain. He’d been lying here long enough that some of the blood pooling around his legs had gone cold. 

There was a vicious snarl, the crack of a gunshot and he realized, suddenly, what happened. 

“Gatling!” He could barely adjust his head enough to see where you were. Your rifle was on the ground but so was the only other gun Joel remembered seeing in the room. Your axe was tight in your hands as you threw one of the men back with a roar. You kicked the guns at your feet behind you and pointed to Joel and snapped your fingers. “Guard!” 

The dog ran to him and crouched around his body, hunched low, snarling and barking. You screamed and Joel struggled to see what was happening, tried to get up but he was only able to make it a few inches off the ground before he collapsed back down, his body too broken to properly obey. You were so close, you were in trouble and he tried to focus on it. He had to get you out of here, he had to take care of you, he’d promised to take care of you. He was supposed to protect you, that’s what he was built to do and he was failing. 

“Gatling, bite!” Your command was more of a shriek, sharp and fearful.

The dog shot away from him for a moment, a snarl followed by a pained wail and Joel could see enough to make out that the animal had tackled someone near you as you scrambled to your feet, more of them coming for you. Joel tried again to move but his injured leg gave out that time, collapsing below him before he could put even half his weight on it. 

“Gatling, release!” The screaming stopped and he heard another snap. “Guard!” 

The dog went back to him, snarling and snapping and 

“Bambi!” 

Joel turned his head too quick to the door, his neck screaming in pain, to see Ellie standing there, her eyes wide.

“Ellie!” He yelled through gritted teeth. 

“Go!” You screamed at her, bringing your axe around, swinging wide on another person coming for you, just catching their arm. “Get help, get Jesse! Go!” 

You circled toward the door, axe up, daring any of them to try to follow her. 

“You’re not a part of this!” Abby prowled toward you. “Don’t make me kill you, too.” 

“He’s a part of this so I am, too,” you panted. “If you wanna try and kill me, you better do it quick and you better be damn sure you do it right because the second I’m down, that dog will rip your throats out one by fucking one. She’s done it before, I’ve seen it. You’ll have to kill me - which she won’t take lyin’ down - and get to the guns behind me to take her down. She works quick, hell of a lot quicker than me. If you’re fightin’ both of us, you don’t stand a chance. You that confident? I am. So is she.” 

Gatling snarled as if on cue. 

“Other option is to get the fuck out of here,” you said. Joel could just see you around the dog, blood dripping from your side, lip split open. “We got backup comin’, we’re from a settlement of hundreds and we’ve fought off raiders and infected for fuckin’ years, think we can handle a band of fucking children without much trouble. This worth dyin’ for? Right now, I got your death warrant. Up to you if I sign it.” 

“Abby,” one of the men said. “Let’s go.” 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She snapped. “You want to just go? Now? Let him live?” 

Gatling snarled again. 

“You’re runnin’ short on time!” You growled, teeth clenched tight. “Now or never!” 

“You lost control of the situation,” the man hissed. “We’re not all dying for your fucking revenge mission.” 

She turned toward Joel and he watched the hatred and the rage move through her. He watched her think about bringing the club down one more time, just to see if she could land a final, killing blow before the dog struck hers. She moved a fraction of an inch toward him and Gatling adjusted, a vicious bark and a snarl ripping from her. 

“He wouldn’t want you to die for this,” the man said quietly, so low Joel doubted you could hear. “And Miller probably won’t survive this, anyway. It’s done. Let’s go.” 

“Fine,” she bit out, throwing the club aside. Joel tried his best to follow her with his eyes, praying that she wouldn’t go for you. Once the people had moved away from him toward you and the door, you called Gatling to you, the dog standing between you and the aggressors, snarling and threatening. They left, watching you closely, without a word.

The door closed and you dropped the axe, grabbing a gun from behind you on the ground and limping for Joel, blood dripping down your leg. 

“Joel,” you fell to your knees beside him. He tried to say something but all that left him was a pained moan. “You’re OK, I’ve got you, you’re alright…” 

“Tommy,” he managed, panting for breath. “Check… Tommy….” 

“OK,” you said softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. “Gatling, guard.” 

You snapped your fingers and pointed to Joel again. The dog obediently came and positioned herself between him and the door, body like a coiled spring ready to attack. You went to Tommy and checked his pulse before adjusting him. Joel heard him groan and you said something he couldn’t quite make out before you were back to him, a bag with you this time. 

“They’ve gotta have something in here,” you said, ripping through the contents. 

“Baby…” 

“Tommy’s alright,” you said, glancing at Joel before going back to the bag. “He’s comin’ around. Ellie will be back soon, she’s bringing help, it’s going to be OK Joel, it is…” 

“Baby.” 

“Hush.” 

You found what you were looking for, a bag with some medical stuff inside. You set it nearby and looked over Joel’s back, wincing as you did. 

“Need to look at the front of you, too,” you said. “I’m going to roll you over, alright?” 

“Baby…” 

“Shut up, Joel.” 

Your hands shook and he cried out in pain as you moved him onto his back, flinching when you saw his leg.

“Jesus,” you whispered. “What’d they do to you?” 

“Baby,” he said again, managing to lift a hand enough to almost reach your face. You took it, gently guiding his bloody palm the rest of the way to your cheek as you leaned down into it. “You’re bleedin’.” 

“Oh,” you looked down at yourself. “It’s fine, I’ll be fine…” 

“Need to take care,” he had to stop for a second, grinding his teeth through the pain as it wracked his body. It took him a moment to catch his breath. “Care of yourself. I’m… I can’t make it back, not like this…” 

“Shut up, Joel.” 

“Promised to protect you,” he said, brushing his thumb over your cheekbone. “Lemme do it.” 

“Protect me later,” you said, setting his hand down and ripping the bag of medical gear open with your teeth. “Going to put bandages on your leg, see if we can let the tourniquet off, save the leg…” 

“Baby.”

“Shut UP, Joel!” 

He watched you work for a moment and you felt farther and farther away with every breath. He could feel himself fading and he wished you’d just stop, that you’d take care of yourself and just hold him while he could still feel you. 

“Need you to look after Ellie,” he said as you wound bandages around his thigh. “She’s gonna act like she doesn’t need anyone but she does and…”

“And she has you,” you cut him off with a glare. “So it doesn’t matter.” 

You released the tourniquet on his leg and it was more of a relief than he’d expected it to be, the pain of it fading to a dull enough roar that he’d forgotten it was there until the weight of it was lifted. 

“Gotta get this spot at your side, too…” you adjusted his shirt and leaned over him and he got a better look at your own side, a bright red splotch growing on your shirt, a long gash going from your ribs down toward your stomach. 

“You’re bleedin’, sweetheart.” 

“I know,” you said. “Getting you fixed up first…” 

“Baby.” 

“Joel, I swear…” 

“Need to get you and Tommy back,” he needed to stop for a second to catch his breath, the rise and fall of his chest straining his ribs. “Can’t… can’t die knowin’…” 

“You’re not dying here,” you snapped, your voice thick. “I just got you back, you’re not dying here, you’re coming home and you’re going to be OK and…” 

You sat back, looking at the spot on his side that you’d just bandaged, wiping your nose on the back of your wrist as you did. 

“Gotta take care of yours now,” he said, eyes tracing the spot at your side. But you shook your head. 

“Outta gauze.” 

“Baby…” 

“It’s not that bad,” you sniffed. “I’ll just… hold pressure until Ellie gets back. It’s OK, you’re gonna be OK, I can’t….” 

“Here,” he ground his teeth, breathing through another wave of pain. “Lay… lay with me. Cut side up, keep the blood from flowin’ too easy.” 

You looked at him for a moment before nodding and lying delicately next to him. He adjusted as best he could so he could see you, touch you. You’d been hit in the face at least twice, one of your eyes swelling shut and your lip split open. But you were still beautiful, so damn beautiful. 

“I’m so sorry baby,” he said softly. 

“Joel…” 

“Wanted… wanted so much more time with you and the girls,” he said quietly. Your skin was soft, so soft it seemed like the sensation of it might be the only thing holding him to the earth. “I’m so sorry we’re not gettin’ that…” 

“Stop talking like that,” you were crying now, not making any attempt to stop it. 

“It’ll be OK sweetheart,” he said. “You’ll… you’ll be alright. Ellie’s gonna need you, keep an eye on her for me. Keep her outta trouble. Savvy, too. She loves you… she’ll… she’ll come around…” 

“Joel,” you whispered, reaching out to cup his face, your fingers in his curls, one of the only places on his body he wasn’t bleeding. 

“I’m so happy we made things right,” he said, his eyes searching yours. He wondered, if he watched you closely enough, if he could bring the precise color of them with him wherever he was going. “I love you so damn much, sweetheart. Need you to know that, OK? I love you.” 

“I love you too,” you breathed. Your skin was so soft and your breath was warm on his skin. “I love you. I love you.” 

You said it again and again. It was the last thing Joel heard before he passed out. 

Next Chapter

A/N: Hi y'all ❤️

Again, begging for you to trust me, OK? OK.

I do love you but... feel free to yell at me in the comments or in my asks or DMs. I'll be responding to asks about the last chapter soon now that this one is up.

Thanks for going on this crazy ride with me!! It truly means the world.

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust@ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost@beccerjune@mumma-moonchild@netonetoneto@mellymbee@purplelye@n7cje@flugazi@evyiione@randomhoex@aliengirl99@orcasoul@reds-ramblings@pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel@jenispunk@panda-pascal@sarap-77@flugazi@your-slutty-gf@daniegraceg@partyofone3413@cumberpegg@noisynightmarepoetry.@fifia-writes@grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123@ashleyfilm

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc #tlou2 spoilers

[rubyuji]

The Reason for My Smile (Kim Mingyu) 🪡

“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” ✮⋆˙

Genre: Angst, Fluff

AU: University!au, Nonidol!au

Pairing: Ex!Chan x Fem!Reader, Brother’s Best Friend!Mingyu x Fem!Reader (Literally Seungcheol’s younger sister)

Warnings: A bit of cursing, a break up over text but that’s about it.

Synopsis: Diving into a long-term relationship is scary for anyone for that matter, except the breakup from yours had left you traumatized because it happened over text. From then on you vowed to never wear your heart on your sleeve ever again, but your brother’s own best friend promised to change your perspective.

Note: My first ever Seventeen fic on this account, so it’s still a work in progress, but it’s definitely something! (Esp since I haven’t written in awhile). It used to be an Enhypen fic originally, but it took a lot of editing and proofreading, along with a lot of changes. Happy reading! Don’t forget to like + reblog! It would mean the world.

Word Count: 7.7k words (I’ve never written so much)

Your relationship with Chan wasn’t precisely the dreamy or ideal relationship you had hoped for but as someone who had almost no experience, put that and being a people pleaser together, and you have whatever is left of your so-called relationship.

It’s not like Chan was a bad person or anything, the boy was quite the softie, so he’s probably just as overwhelmed as you were when it came to dating.

The latter part of the relationship consisted of you trying to understand him as best as you could, that was until inconsistencies started popping up a lot more.

Chan felt distant, he was more busy, despite the two of you being in the same major. That was the whole basis of your relationship after all. At the beginning of your relationship, it was sweet and full of the first times. Chan used to hold your hand, his other one holding your bag, as you would walk to the diner across campus and stay there for hours just talking about your day.

The soft gazes he’d give you whenever your eyes met, the flowers he’d give you on a random day, and the late-night calls wherein one of you ended up asleep. It was like a broken record that rewind itself during the late hours when you would start to question his love for you.

Those moments seem like old memories to you now as you see another apologetic text from your boyfriend. Another text where he promised to make it up to you and that he’d do better next time, it was starting to become a routine where you got stood up by him.

You wondered what on earth would keep your boyfriend so busy, especially when you both had ended up together because you took the same classes. You weren’t a slacker and always got your work done on time, so things weren’t adding up, especially when you both always tried to help one another.

The week after your midterms, you decided to visit your family and stay at home for a little bit.

Your family lived thirty minutes away from campus and you honestly couldn’t bother to make a drive that long every day, so you opted to stay in the dorms to save time, but on occasion, you would suck it up for a few days whenever your living space felt too tight.

Today was one of those days, but it felt a lot worse than you’d like to admit.

“Hey, I’m gonna go stay at my family’s for the weekend, and on Monday, just try not to make a mess here or anything.” You say to your roommate, Bora, who nods without looking at you.

Your roommate had an annoying habit of not looking at people whenever she was focused on her work, but you grew quite used to it and just shrugged it off after a few months.

“Yeah, don’t worry about it. I only ever have Chaeyoung or Hyewon over so no mess and no broken belongings. Have fun and say hi to Seungcheol for me if you see him, will you? Drive safe Y/n,” Bora finally turns to you from her bed and you laugh.

Seungcheol was a good brother and had a heart of gold, but you couldn’t handle your friends gushing over him in front of your face, it just felt weird when you grew up right beside him, the image of a younger Cheol picking his nose suddenly registering itself into your brain as you cringed.

You couldn’t care less about who he’d date though, it was none of your business, even as his little sister. As long as he didn’t end up hurt or hurting anyone, your brother was free to be with who he liked.

“Sure, I’ll leave a word when I see him. Tell me if anything comes up, and now I’ll get going! Bye, Bora!” You picked up your backpack and made the short walk to your car, ready to go home and lay on your childhood bed, which was admittedly more comfortable than the one you had in the dorm.

You text Chan about going to your family’s place, and the boy follows up with a thumbs-up emoji and an ‘I love you, stay safe’ text.

Your boyfriend didn’t have much to say anyway, and you were starting to grow bored with the way things were going. He probably felt the same way and you couldn’t blame him when you couldn’t keep your mouth shut either, since you seemed to be the only one exerting effort at this point.

He might even find you annoying now but didn’t have the heart to tell you because he was just that nice.

“Breaking up is honestly super tempting right now and I honestly can’t stand it anymore! It’s driving me mad, Cheol!” You whine as you stop at the intersection that leads into your neighborhood.

You didn’t mean to rub it in or anything, but you did live in a wealthier part of town, which explained the long drive home, and you were so glad to see the familiar area after a stressful trip.

It just so happened that halfway through the drive, your poor brother had to endure fifteen minutes of your rambling like some counselor even though he simply just wanted to check up on you.

“Y/n, just break up with him then, simple. It’s been months since you started telling me about how bad it’s getting, and honestly, I’m horrified to hear about what else is to come once you get here. I love you so much, really I do, but this boy is full of empty promises and lies,” Seungcheol sighs deeply.

The light turns green and you finally drive into your street, completely forgetting you were on the phone.

“Fuck don’t ignore me like that, I know how much you both liked your sweet puppy love phase, but get a grip Y/n. Chan is draining you, and he’s probably just as tired as you are. It’s time to stop hanging onto that year you both had,” You pull into your driveway and click your tongue.

Your brother was right, but it also killed you knowing you’d hate the thought of not having Chan around anymore. It was all easier said than done, especially when you felt incomplete without him.

“I see your ass in the driveway, Mom and Dad went out to get food so you have a fuck ton of explaining to do.” You see Seungcheol in the window and laugh before honking at him, scaring the living daylights out of him in the process.

“I’ll be in, like five. Let me get my bag ok? And tell Kkuma I’m here, I missed her.” You turn the engine off and grab your bag from the back, a wave of comfort and warmth washing over your form as you look at the house.

“Anyways, I’ve been contemplating on wanting to break up with him because I think he’s tired of me and maybe I did become quite annoying. Unless I’m invalidating my feelings and gaslighting myself into thinking I’m the problem,” You go on.

At this point, it was past dinner time and you and Seungcheol were in your room, dressed for bed and still talking about your problems. Poor Kkuma looked ready to curl up beside you and sleep but was forced to stay awake because of how miserable you were over some boy.

Seungcheol grimaced and set down a makeshift bed for the poor dog to lie on before turning to look at you with a concerned expression. “I think the latter, but you can be the judge of that. Now-” Cheol was cut off by your phone chiming and you turned to look at who on earth was texting you at one in the morning.

Your face turns pale as you look at the screen, and this automatically worries your brother, but his expression immediately hardens as he knows who it could be from.

“It’s from him isn’t it?” You nod slowly, the tears starting to fall from your eyes, dripping down your cheeks and onto the comforter you were on. Every word hit you like a ton of bricks, you felt helpless.

From: Chanie ^^

I think we need to break up. This relationship is holding me back and it’s starting to feel like a chore, I’m sorry I couldn’t do enough for you Y/n. I started to grow bored and you irritated me to no end, I don’t even think we would work even if we tried. This is my last goodbye to you, I’m sorry again that it had to end this way but I’m still young and feel like I’m not ready for something as serious as this.

You showed Seungcheol the message, only then realizing that your number was also blocked, preventing you from saying anything more. You were appalled, to say the least, your mouth hanging wide open as choked sobs started to come out slowly.

A year, a year went to waste with the person you thought would understand you best, the person you thought would hold your heart close to his, only for him to break it. The person who did the most and still managed to disappoint you.

Seungcheol held you close and you cried into his chest, Kkuma was suddenly on the bed licking your face and the world fell still at that exact moment. The moment you vowed to never trust anyone with your heart ever again.

You were a mess the rest of the semester following the text, crying on the couch the entire weekend as Seungcheol tried to console you, along with your oldest brother, but nothing worked.

You did go to class as normal, but you completely shut everyone out and limited socializing to only your family and friends until after finals.

Your break was coming up, and you were honestly relieved, to say the least. Bora was on the other side of the room getting ready to go home to see her family as well, packing up everything on her side in the process, but then you heard her huff as a pillow hit your head, interrupting the silence that was shared.

“What the fuck Kim?” You whined, taking the pillow and hugging it. Bora plants herself on the spot next to you, you look at her with a frown as she laughs.

“I’m gonna miss you roomie, but I’ll visit you often either way since you’re technically my best friend now. Now stop frowning, Chan was an idiot for breaking up with you. How you managed to get through the rest of the semester, I will never know, but you should go put yourself out there again! There’s bound to be another guy ready to treat you better, so stop moping ok? I know it’ll be hard, but I promise it’s not that bad. Have a bit of fun with it,” You pout at Bora’s words.

She was right, but the breakup over a text fiasco left you traumatized. Chan wasn’t the best boyfriend, and you both had your moments, but you weren’t ready to trust someone again just yet.

What if it ends the same way, or even worse? What if you were too boring? Questions swirl through your mind but Bora snaps you out of it.

“Hey, take it easy. Let’s hang out over break, just us girls showing Chan what he’s missing out on! Can you believe he left you? You’re a gem Y/n, a lot more people want you than you think. Now hurry up and pack the rest of your things!” You take in Bora’s words and nod.

It would be hard, but taking baby steps and meeting new people wouldn’t hurt. No rushing into serious connections just yet.

When you got home that day, you were happy enough to lay on your bed once again, all worries and concerns gone for the next few months. Suddenly, you hear a knock at the door and see Seungcheol walking in. You raise your eyebrow at him and your brother chuckles awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I was wondering if maybe we can hang out? Like all of your friends and mine,” Seungcheol looks down and plays with his fingers nervously. You were confused by his proposal but urged him to continue.

“Look, I like Bora and Minghao has this huge crush on Hyewon. Can you at least help us? Please? Look, I’ll take you shopping and even buy you food if I have to,” Your brother sounded like he was pleading almost so you really couldn’t help but feel bad.

“Cheol it’s ok, I’ll take you up on the shopping, now give me a date so I can tell the girls.” You smiled softly. Seungcheol punches the air and you laugh at his antics, you knew Bora also had the biggest crush on him so setting them up would be a breeze. Hyewon was a mystery you had yet to uncover though.

“I barely know your friends though, like I’ve met Jeonghan but who the hell is Minghao and how does he know about Hyewon?” Seungcheol lies down beside you on the bed and opens his phone, showing you a picture of him and three other guys.

Seungcheol then starts pointing out the two new faces to you. The lean and prince-looking one was Minghao and the tall, puppy-looking guy was named Mingyu. You couldn’t help but pay more attention to Mingyu, he was really attractive and you wanted to get to know him.

“Anyways, they’re the two new people in my frat. They’re super cool and like-” “Are you gonna bring Mingyu?” You cut him off mid-sentence, still in awe at Mingyu. Seungcheol’s brows knit and he rolls his eyes at you whilst you stick your tongue out at him.

“What happened to not dating? Come on Y/n, be serious,” You slap your brother’s face jokingly, the male screaming dramatically from beside you.

You didn’t want to get your heart broken again, but putting yourself out there wouldn’t hurt, as long as it didn’t get too serious, you were going to be ok.

“Shut up, it’s not like it’s gonna be a super serious thing just yet. Mingyu looks like a total hottie, I just wanna get to know him, have a little fun and get a bit of attention again,” You were ass at lying, so Seungcheol could only laugh at you.

“I trust you with him, Mingyu’s a very easygoing guy if that’s important to you. He’s also super single because he’s waiting for the right person,” he smirks at you.

Easygoing? And he’s waiting for the right person? On top of all that he’s cute and your brother trusts him with you? It sounded too good to be true.

You were happy for a moment, but doubts started to cloud your judgment once again. He sounded like a good guy, but how long until he turns into Chan and gets bored of you? It was starting to scare you again.

“Cheol, I don’t know-” Your brother gives you a serious look and sits up.

“I hope you understand that he’s not Chan, Y/n. Not all relationships are going to be like your last unless you try to take that leap. I promise you, he’s not a bad guy. Like, if he hurts you, I’ll hurt him because you mean a lot to me” You nod at Seungcheol, finally thinking positively and securely.

Not everyone is going to be like Chan, you knew that, but your memories and feelings for the boy held you back.

“Now, how does nineteenth sound?” Your brother asks you. You text your friends, immediately getting the green light from the three of them, Bora sounding the most excited.

“Perfect, and your girlfriend is just as excited as you are,” Cheol’s face turns a deep red before he runs out of your room in embarrassment, yelling about something along the lines of planning the perfect outfit. You guessed it was probably to impress Bora anyway, so you didn’t question him.

The silence of your room welcomes you once again and you are back into your thoughts. Mingyu sounded like a guy who would take someone seriously, maybe it’s just what you needed because guys your age didn’t have that much to go off of.

He was Seungcheol approved, and you told yourself that a million times, only because he hadn’t approved of anyone else but Mingyu. Chan could get past your parents and oldest brother, but not Cheol, so it was an odd situation to be in.

“I’ll figure it out later, right now, I need to sleep.” You put your phone off to the side and close your eyes.

Hopefully, you’ll be able to figure everything out once the nineteenth rolls around, both Seungcheol and Bora did say similar things, so maybe those two had a point. ‘No wonder they like each other, they’re the same person,’ you thought as the sleep took over.

Two days had passed and the dreaded day had rolled around much quicker than you had anticipated. As you put on light makeup, your friends are in the background screaming at each other throughout the entirety of your Facetime call because you all decided that it was a good idea to get ready together.

“Bora, it’s Seungcheol! He’s like Y/n’s male version so you don’t need to freak out that much! Now Y/n, show us the fit. You’re the only one who didn’t show us yet!” Hyewon whined over the phone.

“I’m wearing a gray long-sleeved, asymmetrical knit top, black skirt, and combat boots. For hair, I’m leaving it down and wavy, I don’t care much,” You say softly.

The girls suddenly burst out laughing as you put on your outfit, they didn’t seem to believe you one bit when you said you didn’t care because they knew you genuinely did care and tried not to.

“Guys come on, Mingyu is approved by my brother! How can I not care? I know I’m still scared because of the whole Chan fiasco but can you blame me?” Your friends hum in agreement until you hear the door behind you open.

“Y/n— Are you calling your friends right now? We’re leaving in a minute because Mingyu’s driving so hurry your ass up will you. Also hi Bora! Hi Hyewon and Chaeyoung,” Seungcheol grins stupidly.

You roll your eyes at your brother for obviously singling Bora out and tell your friends that you are going to see them in a bit.

“Bye, Y/n! Have fun looking at your new boy toy driving, already a huge upgrade from Chan!” Wonyoung laughs.

You end the Facetime call with a roll of your eyes before turning to look at Seungcheol with an eyebrow raised. Seungcheol puts his hands up defensively before you both hear a car honking outside.

“Mingyu’s here, grab your bag, and let’s go!” You huff as your brother rushes you, he was practically itching to see his crush, and embarrassingly enough, you too were excited to meet Mingyu and Minghao.

With your bag in hand, along with your phone, you finally follow Cheol outside and see a Range Rover of the latest model in black. Damn, Mingyu was in a different league that was for sure.

Seungcheol opens the door for you as you head in. You see Jeonghan riding shotgun and Wonwoo in the back smiling at you. “Y/n! So happy to see you again, I think this is your first time meeting Mingyu and Minghao,” Jeonghan says from the front.

You squeeze in the center comfortably and nod. Wonwoo was cute, he greeted you politely and was very friendly, but when your eyes met Mingyu’s, you suddenly became quite flustered. He held a sharp gaze, the watch on his wrist not helping you in the slightest.

“The shopping center downtown right?” Seungcheol nods at Mingyu’s words, his deep voice causing you to flush. You prayed to whoever was up there that you would at least survive the day because the tension in the car with him was enough to drive you nuts.

“So Y/n, how’s that thing with Chan?” You freeze up when Jeonghan suddenly brings up your ex, but you forget not everyone knew about the devastating breakup over text.

“We broke up over text...” You reply awkwardly. Jeonghan gasps as your brother runs his palm down his face, he knew better than anyone not to bring up Chan during the time you were still trying to move on.

“Hyung, give her a break. Sounds like it must’ve been rough, I’m sorry about that. He seems like a shitty guy, breaking up with you over text? Are you sure this isn’t a sitcom Y/n?” Mingyu speaks up as he looks at you from the rearview mirror. You feel your cheeks heat up slightly, nodding in embarrassment, but for some reason, you were shocked upon hearing Mingyu’s words.

Wow, he really picked Chan apart in a way you wouldn’t ever dare to. His bluntness snapped you right back to reality and you could hear Minghao chuckle from beside you. “What’s so funny?” You raise a brow at the boy.

“Mingyu hasn’t been this disheartened over anything in a while, it’s crazy that he’s already scrutinizing your ex based on how you broke up,” Minghao explains. Mingyu glares at him and huffs, looking so done and just ready to explain himself.

“Listen, in my personal opinion, I think breaking up with a long-term partner over text is stupid and a cowardly move. There were so many other ways he could have gone about it but over text? At least call or something instead, it’s super disrespectful towards your partner to leave them hanging without proper closure.” Your eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets upon hearing the reason behind his agitation.

So far, Mingyu was seriously proving you wrong the more he opened his mouth to say something, but you still weren’t ready because what if he’s even worse? The feeling still lingers and it’s almost like the ghost of your ex is not letting you go just yet.

“Mingyu’s right, I thought you both had something to be fair. Seeing how puppy love was just a phase makes me think I was quite wrong, you deserve better. Like Mingyu here for example! He’s very single and is looking for the right person, which could be you.” Jeonghan jokingly says.

You notice Mingyu’s ears turn red as he pulls into the shopping center. The car was suddenly filled with an awkward silence, everyone stunned at the oldest’s proposition. You and Mingyu had just met, what was he on about with you being his possible partner? It was crazy.

After Mingyu had parked his car, you all made your way toward your designated meeting spot. You could see Cheol and Minghao freeze up upon seeing Bora and Hyewon, causing a laugh to make its way out of your throat.

“Y/n! Over here!” The girls beckoned you over as you purposely ran in their direction to tease the guys.

It was a day to bring them together was it not? Yet you still took the opportunity to tease the boys as you wished. It was pretty funny to look at their reactions knowing they liked your friends.

“Hi guys, I brought Cheol and Jeonghan. The newbies are Minghao and, Mingyu” You say with a pause. Your friends squeal wildly at the mention of Mingyu’s name, shoving you with their elbows as you all laugh.

“Minghao is so cute actually, is he single by any chance?” Hyewon smirks, eyeing the male up and down.

You giggle and nod, your friend had no idea that the said boy was here for her, which made your job of setting them up much easier. Your work was basically cut out for you the moment they laid their eyes on each other.

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll know in a bit. For now, let’s all focus on having fun today shall we?” You sling your hand over Bora’s shoulder, not noticing Mingyu’s intense stare at your form. Seungcheol and Jeonghan notice the action, causing the two of them to nudge the boy playfully.

“Bro, go shoot your shot. There’s so much tension between the two of you, I hope you know that” Cheol laughs.

Mingyu shakes his head at his words profusely, there was no way he was going to overstep a boundary, even if it was Seungcheol himself encouraging it.

You notice the boys talking amongst themselves but decide to shrug it off, they were probably planning their moves on your friends, but how do you tell them that they didn’t even need to try that much? They all seemed to like each other after all.

Between Jeonghan and Seungcheol’s continuous pestering, Mingyu had felt your gaze on them, causing his cheeks to grow hot. You were really pretty, and that goes without saying, but you had just gotten out of something long-term.

The time needed to heal you first, or at least that’s what he thought, since his mom had always taught him to be patient with the ones he loved or cared about.

“Give her time guys, I don’t think I can just rush in like that. Y/n came out of a slightly traumatizing event, so if you jump right in, it will only push the person away further. I should be friends with her at most while we’re still getting to know each other,” Mingyu makes eye contact with you and notices how you quickly avoid his eyes.

The day had gone by quite smoothly since then, each of you dispersing into little pairs after a while because your friends couldn’t seem to help themselves, which is what led you to where you were now. In a store, with Mingyu, picking out clothes for him to try on.

You had nothing better to do anyway, so why not style your brother’s hot friend, even though Mingyu himself already had impeccable fashion taste?

You bite your lip as you focus on the outfit, visualizing what it would look like on Mingyu, and how you could coordinate everything.

Mingyu thought it was adorable with how much thought and focus you had decided to put in when you were only doing this for fun, he ultimately decided to buy the outfit once he was done trying it on.

“Here, sorry I took so long. I haven’t styled anyone since my ex and my older brother, so this is the best you’re gonna get for now,” You handed him the items in your arms and pushed him toward the fitting rooms, eager to see how well you did.

“It’s no problem because you did put the time and effort into styling me, I might go ahead and buy it if it does end up being my style,” Mingyu smiles at you softly.

He was sweet, you had to admit. It wasn’t like Chan had noticed you putting effort into styling him so a little affirmation made your heart swell.

“You don’t have to, I kind of play around with it. I bet you will look good since you seem like you’d look good in anything” You admit shyly.

Mingyu was fun to be around, even if it was your first time meeting, you already felt as if you had known the man for a while. All around Mingyu was just considerate and one of the best people you could’ve ever met.

“Yeah, sure you do, I know you put a lot more effort either way. Let me try this on now, otherwise, I’d be too distracted looking into your eyes. Give me a minute and I’ll show you how it looks,” You nod as Mingyu closes the curtain, only then taking in what he had said to you. He was not being serious but was so smooth with how he flirted with you just now.

A minute had gone by and you heard Mingyu call your name, so you made your way over, only to find your heart nearly falling out of your ass the moment you saw him. He looked so good, great even, and you couldn’t help but stare.

Mingyu adorned a white shirt underneath a black zip-up jacket, adding detail by zipping up the bottom of it, and light-wash jeans. It was a really simple outfit, but you had to admit, he did tie the whole look together.

“How does it look? I think you did well honestly, I’ll buy the entire outfit right now. Let me go change so we can go meet up with the others,” Mingyu smiles.

You were amazing at what you did, it impressed him how you were able to pull such an outfit together in just a few minutes.

“I think it looks great, I’m flattered you like it so much that you’d buy it right now. Maybe I can style you again if there is a next time?” You reply shyly. You couldn’t meet Mingyu’s eyes because he looked so good.

From that moment on, Mingyu made it his mission to heal your heart and prove to you that you deserved a second chance at being treated better.

He had come to your house quite often and taken you out a few times, so much to the point that everyone around you started noticing that you were almost always with each other.

“You know what, this is the happiest I’ve seen you. Your relationship with Chan started to strain and you had become more dull and miserable, but being around Mingyu gave you a new kind of glow for some reason,” Chaeyoung quips.

You tilt your head in confusion, you liked his company but you hadn’t noticed any other changes.

“He’s great, but I’m still hesitant. You know how I am, as I get he’s not Chan, but who knows how everything would play out in the long run?” You say sadly.

Mingyu was more than amazing, he respected your wishes not to have a relationship, but still treated you in ways people could only dream of, but in his words, he was ‘courting’ you, something people don’t do much these days.

He was attentive, took care of you well, and would always be there for you no matter what. He truly was the real definition of being ‘one call away’. This was all so new to you, even being courted was something totally out of the ordinary.

“Y/n, he’s courting you. Not enough people willingly do that these days, so you have the guy wrapped around your finger. He’s patiently waiting for an answer from you, like do you remember everything you’ve told us?” Hyewon huffs out from above you as she is doing your hair.

It was girl’s night and you had decided to bring up your worries and updates to your friends, but you had forgotten the fact that you had also told them the details about your escapades with Mingyu.

From where you would go to what you did, down to the time he took you home, and if Seungcheol truly did approve of him.

“Did Chan ever actually think about how you felt in a certain situation? You know besides you telling him it’s ok and all? Usually being together with someone for over a year would allow you to read them better, but Chan barely knew your little habits. Bora took them in after a month of knowing you, which is concerning. Now on to Mingyu, what did he say that one time?” Chaeyoung snaps her fingers and you instantly know what she is talking about.

You came home one day and had gone the whole day without eating. You were out with your parents and they hadn’t considered if you were hungry or not since they were busy and had already eaten, so when you got home, you quietly slipped next to Mingyu in the living room after seeing the guys watching a movie.

“Hey, you’re home. How was spending the day with your parents?” Mingyu whispers from beside you. You shrug and he gives you a look that encourages you to tell him more.

“I hadn’t eaten anything, but honestly it’s ok now since I’m not hungry at all…” You trail off.

Mingyu shakes his head and takes his phone out, but you go over to stop him. He shouldn’t spend anything on you, and you already told him you weren't hungry so you felt as if you were only bothering him.

“Are you sure you’re not hungry?” You see your favorite restaurant on the delivery app on his phone and blush. Did he remember your favorite restaurant and order? That was sweet of him.

“No it’s ok I can manage,” You pretended not to see him already inputting the order and paying for it, but you still couldn’t help it when your stomach growled loudly. Mingyu raises a brow at you as you chuckle awkwardly.

“I’m getting you food, I know you’re hungry” Mingyu laughs. You hit his shoulder but thanked him gratefully for even thinking of you, it was a small gesture but it still meant a lot.

“How about that time he got you flowers for no reason?” Bora says while laughing.

You roll your eyes, she was the first person you had freaked out to over the phone because Mingyu had gotten you a bouquet of roses on a random Thursday with Seungcheol.

“What’s this?” You ask as Mingyu sets down a bunch of fresh roses wrapped in brown paper on the counter in front of you. Cheol and Mingyu had just gotten back from grocery shopping for your mom and then Mingyu came back with flowers, of course, you would be confused.

“I got you flowers because we saw them on the way out, and I thought you'd like them” Mingyu started taking out the groceries from the bags as your brother walked in with the last batch from the car. You flick Cheol’s forehead, but the older male can only smirk and laugh at you.

“Why? There’s no occasion,” You try to excuse, but you couldn’t hide how flustered you were.

Mingyu had thought of you while they were out? He did mean it when he said he wanted to treat you better.

“Can I not get you flowers even if there’s no occasion? Y/n, you don’t need to ask or have a reason to receive flowers, I hope you know that. I’m surprised this hadn’t been done for you more often than not” Mingyu’s back was still turned toward you, which you were thankful for because you probably looked like a tomato at that moment.

That night poor Bora had to endure an earful from you, just because Mingyu was a great guy who treated you the way you deserved.

Thinking back at those moments, you could only see the good in Mingyu, so you wanted your friends’ approval. He was already brother and parent-approved so that only left your best friends.

“Well, do you guys think I should finally give him an answer? It’s been a few months, and even if I am scared, I can’t let this chance go.” Hyewon finishes up your hair and pats your head, signaling her answer. You look at the others, who only grin back at you and you laugh.

“Y/n, he’s been a green flag since the beginning. It’s a good opportunity knowing he’s the type that’s ready to settle down,” Bora also brings up.

Seungcheol had always emphasized that Mingyu was a date-to-marry and long-term relationship kind of guy, which makes sense as to why you were one of the first people he had ever been super serious with when it came to dating.

“You guys are always the best, I’m glad everyone around me approves. I mean, I won’t know until I try right?” Chaeyoung hugs you and you sigh in content.

You were finally moving on, you were finally healing. It felt fulfilling in a sense, and knowing you were finally starting a new chapter with a great person, you felt as though your life was finally turning out for the better.

After a chaotic girls’ night, you had called up Mingyu to meet you at your favorite cafe that the two of you frequented. You were quite nervous, to say the least, but you were ready to take this huge step of moving on with the person who treated you right.

You hear the bell of the cafe chime, and you finally see the person you were expecting. Mingyu walked in, his hair down in its usual state, and in a casual but comfortable outfit.

He looked like he had just come from the gym. Your heart raced at how good he looked, he always did look his best whenever he came to see you, and you always appreciated the effort.

Mingyu spots you and walks over with a wide smile. He was always so damn charming, you couldn’t believe he was all yours. He pulls out the seat in front of you and plops on it, his attention fully on you. ‘Attentive as always, I don’t deserve you,’ you thought.

“You wanted to talk?” Mingyu finally breathes out upon seeing you. You nod and take his hands in yours, you were going to tell him how you finally felt because he deserved an answer. He had already done so much for you, the least you could do was show him that all his efforts were finally paying off.

“I think I’m ready to give you my answer. The past few months you had decided to court me and I’m thankful you were patient enough to wait for my answer. You’ve proved to me that relationships aren’t limited to how I and my ex went about ours and that if a guy wanted to do something, he would. So my answer is already set, I’ll be your girlfriend, Gyu.” You look up at him, only to see Mingyu grinning like an idiot.

He was elated, he finally got the answer he was waiting for and you saying yes only made it a hundred times better. Mingyu fully understood how much your last relationship had affected you, so he only made it a point to court you, knowing you weren’t ready for a commitment just yet.

He wanted you to be ready for him to love you and treat you the way you deserved, so he didn’t push it and waited for you to come around on your own, which you did.

“You have no idea how happy and relieved I am to hear you say that. Y/n, I’m so glad you gave me the chance to love you and care for you. I’m glad you gave me the chance to prove myself to you. I promise I will not hurt you in any way at all, and I promise to be as communicative as possible with my feelings so that you don’t end up in the dark. I want you to know everything because you deserve it,” Mingyu admits, not breaking his gaze on you.

“Mingyu, you’re everything I could’ve ever asked for. I don’t know what else to say. The past few months I’d been so scared to love again, to give a relationship another chance, but you’ve proved me wrong and even waited for me to be ready. You don’t understand how much that means to me,” You continue to fidget with his hands, but then he suddenly takes yours and places a kiss on your knuckle.

You blush at the action, you weren’t used to feeling or receiving this kind of affection since it had been quite some time, but with Mingyu, you weren’t afraid of anything, because you trusted him as much as he trusted you.

Needless to say, even months after you had given Mingyu an answer, he remained the same and still acted like he was courting you.

The only difference? He was finally your boyfriend and you were finally his girlfriend. You felt how serious he was about you when he had even introduced you to his parents, and they were just as lovely as their son was.

“Mom wants to go shopping with us on her birthday this weekend, I told her I would take her on a birthday date but she insisted you come along. She loves you that much already,” Mingyu chuckles as he walks into your room, fresh out of the shower. You laugh, his mom was the sweetest person, and you finally understand where your boyfriend gets it from.

“I’m down if she’d like, but you’re not getting me anything ok? You already spoil me enough and I don’t want you to spend too much–” You squeal as you feel Mingyu’s arms around you, the two of you falling flat on the bed.

Before you two could move from your position, you heard a knock at your door. It was Seungcheol, and you immediately pulled away from Mingyu once you saw him, still flustered and embarrassed from the previous action.

“Hey, if you two are going to be in the house, at least have some decency while I’m here!” Your brother whines.

You laugh and see him let Kkuma in the room. She had been with Cheol the whole day, so you and your siblings usually took turns spending time with the dog. You were the sibling in Kkuma’s night shift, meaning you had to take the dog in for the night since she liked sleeping in your room.

You thank Cheol for letting Kkuma in and bid your brother goodnight. Once the door closed, you looked over to see your boyfriend on the floor with Kkuma laying on her back.

“Hey, that’s my dog! Kkuma, you can’t just steal my boyfriend like that, and Gyu you can’t just do that to my child!” You joke. They looked perfect, and suddenly you start to imagine what your little family with Mingyu would look like.

Mingyu was the perfect partner to settle with, after all, he was caring and dependable, but also super honest and was not afraid to show or express how he felt. He just knew whenever you weren’t up to do something, or if something was bothering you.

“Is something wrong?” Mingyu noticed that you were more quiet than usual today because you almost always told him about your day. He noticed how your smile hadn’t reached your eyes and how you were fidgeting with your fingers more.

“It’s nothing” You tried to brush it off, but truthfully, you weren’t doing well. You just didn’t have the strength to let him know or the strength to explain how you felt, all you wanted to do was rest and go to sleep.

“Y/n, you can tell me anything ok? Be as open as you want to be, I’m always here for you and will not judge you no matter what. If you don’t have the energy to tell me, it’s ok. Just rest here” You feel his arms being wrapped around you as he strokes your hair. The action was small but it helped you ease up a lot.

“It’s hard Gyu, I don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t have the energy to stress over anything right now,” You whisper. Mingyu rocks you back and forth, still playing with your hair as he places kisses on your forehead.

“Whatever it is you’re going through, I hope you know that I’m proud enough that you decide to wake up every day and do everything with a smile, even if the world has wronged you. you’re so brave and amazing Y/n, please do not ever doubt yourself” Mingyu replies softly.

“Gyu, you don’t understand how much your words have helped me” You kiss him softly. You felt so lucky to have him, he was beyond the best partner you had ever been blessed with.

“Mingyu, could I ask you something?” You say suddenly. The two of you were at his parent’s place since Mingyu had decided to take you to his childhood home in Anyang as a gift for your four-month anniversary.

“Mhm?” He hummed, putting down a plate of food on the coffee table in the living room, and sitting next to you on the couch.

“Why haven’t we said I love you to each other at any point in our relationship just yet? The others have asked me about it, but I just can’t come up with an answer to get them to leave me alone,” you whine. Mingyu laughs and kisses your cheek gently.

“Tell them that saying I love you isn’t easy when it comes to us, you haven’t said it either so we’re simply making sure that I can say it when the time is right. It’s not that I don’t or anything, but those words aren’t exactly an easy thing to just pop out there. The time will come when we can both say it meaningfully. Right now, we are still early into our relationship and have a lot to learn. I hope you understand where I’m coming from” he tells you.

It wasn’t that hard to understand what he meant. Mingyu had always been more careful, even if he didn’t say I love you, he still affirmed you and expressed his love for you in his actions.

Loving someone still comes in many forms, so the words I love you could wait because they should come from a place where you both fully understand and can comprehend how meaningful the three words are.

“I honestly think the same way, in a sense, I’m glad you’re honest about how you feel because I’ve been in a place wherein I was pressured into doing the action just because it was normal for everyone else, but not all of us are the same. Thank you, Gyu, you’re always the best with words.” Mingyu holds you close and you both sigh in content.

He wanted to treat you better, and he did. He wanted to show you better, and he expressed it in the best way possible.

© rubyuji 2024’ -. no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any manner without the permission from the publisher.

#rubyuji 🍷 ｡𖦹°‧ #seventeen imagines #seventeen angst #seventeen fluff #seventeen #seventeen blurbs #seventeen fic #seventeen ff #seventeen au #mingyu imagines #mingyu ff #mingyu angst #mingyu fluff #kpop imagines #kpop angst #kpop fluff #kpop au #kpop blurbs #kpop fic #kpop ff #mingyu seventeen #svt mingyu #seventeen drabbles #kpop drabbles #mingyu drabbles #mingyu blurbs

[jinhyun]

—mean it.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader, oc x reader

genre: angst, fluff, smut, college au, dance major hyunjin, art major reader

word count: 16.2k (i'm so sorry omg)

summary: hyunjin crashing at a party he wasn't initially invited to, with the one and only purpose of seeing you, could either go incredibly wrong... or incredibly right.

warnings: mansion party, drinking, cursing, heavy making out, foreplay, very slight fingering and handjob, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), MINORS DNI!!!!

a/n: hellooo, here it is!! this monster of a one shot!!! i am so sorry to those of you who aren't into long fics (i feel you my bbs i'm one of them lol) but you can always take your time and read this in a couple of days or something idk :')

either way i hope you guys enjoy and please, please, pleaseeee let me know your thoughts on this. it really took me more effort and time than i had initially calculated lmao and i would really love to gossip about it with you guys<3

Feelings were something Hyunjin had avoided all his life. Or at least for as long as he had learned the meaning of them, along with the implications of being in a formal relationship with the one person you allegedly had said feelings for.

He just didn't understand why anyone would want to complicate things with them, when they could simply live in the moment and be with anyone they wanted, whenever they wanted. No strings attached seemed like Heaven, and the best way to live your life.

It had worked for him all these years. No complications. No misunderstandings. Just meaningless sex, with girls who knew beforehand they would not be getting anything else from him. If they were lucky enough, they might get to be with him more than once in the name of having a good time, but that was it. That was all they would ever get. That was all he would ever give to someone.

Up until you came into the picture.

You had come to change his entire world without a warning, as you were the exact opposite to him by not being afraid of your feelings — if anything, being in love with the whole concept of them. You were shameless when it came to them. You were in love with the idea of love.

You had feelings for him, and you did not try to hide it one bit. You knew that he knew about them, yet you did not try to play it cool or to even deny it. No, you embraced it. And that was both annoying and terrifying to Hyunjin.

He didn't know how to react to that. He didn't like feelings. He didn't want complications. He didn't want commitment.

But then he found himself caring a little too much about you and Changbin hooking up.

And he found himself looking for excuses to spend time with you.

And feeling his chest tighten at both the sight and thought of you and his friend.

Until he kissed you. And suddenly he didn't only feel all that about you and his friend alone, but about you and anyone else. You and anyone who wasn't him.

He started caring a little too much about you. Wanting to be with you at all times. Wanting to kiss you at all times. Wanting to talk to you, to make you laugh. Wanting to make you feel better whenever you were down, and be there with you through all your achievements.

He started wanting you all to himself.

Just like that, he got caught in the complications he never wanted, and the commitment he had so diligently tried to avoid.

And it took him to lose you for it to hit him why he had found himself caught in all those situations he so confidently claimed to despise.

Feelings. That was the answer. His feelings for you. The very ones he had tried his best to look past and now could no longer deny.

The very ones that ended up bringing him into a house —not to say mansion— he had never been to before, surrounded by people who were mainly strangers to him, looking for the one person amongst all of them he only cared about.

Changbin had called Soyeon as soon as they arrived at the mansion, so she could open the door for them and let them into the party they were both crashing at. Hyunjin only got to greet her before he realised he was third wheeling a matter of seconds later — flashbacks to that one time he had found them making out in Minhyuk's kitchen coming to mind and making him cringe, being enough to excuse himself from them and decide to wander around on his own instead.

Taking a look around, he couldn't help but curse under his breath over how fucking big the place was. He was pretty sure the fancy living room alone was bigger than his entire shared apartment with Seungmin and Bin. The marble stairs to the second floor looked straight out of an upper class movie, and he failed at counting all the doors that were at simple sight.

How the hell was he supposed to find you in here?

He was not giving up that easily, though. He had literally only come here because of you, after all. So, with a subtle shake of his head, he made his way through the many acting majors so he could reach what he thought would be the kitchen. You being there getting a refill or just hanging out seemed like a very high possibility.

Only you were not.

There were only a few people in there, and after doing a double take, he came to terms with you simply not being there. Letting out a sigh, he walked up to the counter and poured himself a drink, taking a sip of it as he pulled his phone out and scrolled down on Twitter — maybe you had posted something that could give him an idea about where exactly you were inside this endless-looking place.

"Hyunjin?"

His head snapped towards where his name had came from — having been too focused on his phone to fully take in the femenine voice, yet hoping he would lock eyes with you. Instead, he found himself locking them with Lee Somin, an acting major he had met at a party last year and ended up taking back home that same night.

"Somin…" he couldn't help but sound disappointed.

"Hey" she smiled. "Wow, I haven't seen you in a while".

"Yeah, it's been like… a year?" his eyebrows knitted together deep in thought.

"I'm pretty sure we ran into each other last term" her lips curved up in a way he could tell she was flirting. "But yeah, a year more or less".

Hyunjin nodded, silently looking down into his cup as he considered taking another sip.

In all honesty, he couldn't care less — neither to remember how long had it been, nor to keep this conversation going. It had only been a one time thing, after all. He had maybe seen her one or two times on campus after that. Not important enough for him to keep track of.

He should have considered the possibility of running into his past hookups when coming here. Any other time, he wouldn't have minded. Three or maybe even two months ago, he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. But tonight he only wanted to find you. Entertaining any kind of conversation with those he had been with at some point before you was truly not part of his plans.

"Didn't think you'd be here" Somin gave it another shot at initiating small talk.

"I wasn't," he blurted out. "I mean, it was last minute".

"Couldn't turn down having some fun, huh?" she raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to him.

Hyunjin moved away, slightly, not to seem rude. "Uh, yeah… I just…"

"Maybe we could stick together" she proposed with a smirk, and he couldn't help but wonder if maybe she was way past tipsy by now. "We had lots of fun together last time".

"I'm actually here with someone" he confidently informed her, both to her and his own surprise.

"Oh? I thought dating wasn't really your scene?"

"It wasn't," he agreed. "It just sort of happened".

"Who's the lucky girl then?"

Hyunjin shrugged.

Y/N. You. Of course that was the answer, what he wanted to believe — what he wanted to be true. But going around telling people that you two were together was not the most ideal of moves. Not when it was not true. Not when he was trying to win you over again and didn't want to hurt you nor make you mad any further.

"Well?" she pushed it. "Don't make me think you're only making it up to keep me from taking you home with me tonight".

He rolled his eyes, taking a long sip of his drink and muffling his answer. "Y/N".

"What?"

"Y/N," he repeated, louder this time after having swallowed. "I'm with Y/N".

The smirk that had just curved up her lips at the sound of your name almost made him sick to his stomach. "The artist?"

He nodded.

Somin shook her head in amusement. She did not believe him for shit.

"I mean, I heard that around a couple of times but I just couldn't believe it" she chuckled. "You guys must be in a pretty messy relationship then, considering she's been very lovey dovey with Na Heesung tonight".

Hyunjin found himself physically having to bite his tongue, not to say anything he'd regret later. "You know where she is right now?"

She shook her head no. "I ran into them like an hour ago and I haven't seen them since. Maybe they're in the backyard, or in a room upstairs".

Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist at the last remark. There was no way, right? You couldn't possibly be hooking up with Heesung as they spoke.

"Funny" he took another sip, letting his body lean against the counter.

"I mean it, though" she cocked an eyebrow. "I've seen a few couples go upstairs and not come back yet. Apparently it is a thing to hook up in a mansion with as many rooms as an apartment complex. Not like Yurim cares anyway".

"She wouldn't" Hyunjin mumbled.

"Y/N?" Somin wondered, looking up at him before her stare softened. "You guys are really together?"

Once again, he fell silent, staring into his cup like his life depended on it and shrugging her question off.

As if on cue —and almost as manifested by him— your laugh was heard in the living room, getting closer by the second. And before Hyunjin could straighten himself up in order to walk towards where he had heard your voice, you entered the kitchen. Much to his disdain, in the company of the one and only Na Heesung.

"Hyunjin-ah" you said the moment your eyes abandoned Heesung and locked with Hyunjin's first thing, clearly surprised by his presence.

"Hey, Y/N…" he smiled, not bothering to acknowledge the guy next to you who had just excused himself to pour yourselves a new drink.

Hyunjin would be damned to look at anyone else right then as you were right in front of him looking like that. You had gone for the black dress you had shown him through the picture he had whined for, and if he had died at the sight of you in it through his phone's screen, he was sure he had reached Heaven by now. The way you had decided to let your hair down in the end, somehow only managing for him to find it harder to breathe.

That button down black dress would be the end of him, that was for sure.

He wanted nothing but to pull you to him right then and run his fingers through the smooth fabric of it, which hugged your body so beautifully he found it hard to control himself.

Oblivious to the thoughts going through his head at the mere sight of you and your choice of clothing, you smiled back. "I didn't know you were coming?"

He cleared his throat, snapping out of it. "I was invited last minute".

You nodded understandingly, eyes travelling from him to the girl by his side, whose presence you were only now noticing. Not taking his eyes away from you, Hyunjin saw your smile be erased in a second, and that was all it took for him to realise you were putting two plus two together and not exactly getting four out of that sum.

"I see…" you tried to smile again, accepting the new drink Nana was offering you.

"Not by…" Hyunjin rushed to explain, throwing Somin a quick glance before his eyes were back on you. "She didn't—we're not…"

Your smile grew bigger, genuine, at his poor way with words. "It's okay, I get it".

"No but—"

"We just came here for drinks, so…" Heesung spoke up, trying to help you out of that situation and earning himself a glare from Hyunjin while at it.

"Ah, yeah" you agreed, giving Hyunjin and the girl one last look as you followed Nana out of there. "Have fun, you guys".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Having come all the way here, Hyunjin had most certainly not expected that to be his first encounter with you.

He had come all the way here for you, to see you. Running into one of his past hookups and having her next to him right as you ran into him, making you believe he had come here with her, had entirely defeated the whole purpose of him showing up.

Sure, the main reason he had come here was to make sure you and Heesung wouldn't end up hooking up —or worse, becoming a couple— by the end of the night, but it was also so he could spend some time with you. He wanted to be with you. Maybe get a drink together. Talk. Laugh. Win you back.

And every hope of his to get to do just that tonight had been shut down not even fifteen minutes into the party.

Running a hand through his hair as he and Somin walked out of the kitchen and parted ways, he found himself feeling not only frustrated over the whole situation, but also embarrassed as hell after being caught in his own white lie to the girl.

He tried his best to put all of it past him and once again look for you, not wanting to give up just yet — coming up with excuse after excuse to try and take you away from Heesung the moment he saw you again, so he could finish explaining himself. Just a couple of minutes would do.

"Guys, guys!" a blonde yelled from the other side of the room, where a small group of people was sitting down on the floor. "We're about to play a game, in case anyone wants to join!"

Not thinking much of it, Hyunjin resumed his way through the living room on his search for you, shaking his head in amusement when he saw Somin run towards them and sit down in the circle that was only getting bigger and bigger.

And he would've actually walked straight past said group of people and out to the backyard, if it weren't for the fact that he caught a glimpse of you — already sitting down on the floor, careful enough not to have your dress accidentally roll up your thighs. Surprised not to see Heesung next to you, he looked around, almost not believing he had left you all alone in a room full of strangers, about to play a drinking game.

That didn't last long, though, for the next second Nana was back in the picture, sitting down right next to you —in a spot you had apparently saved for him— and placing a black jacket on your legs. You smiled, visibly touched by that considerate gesture of his, before you shifted into a more comfortable position now that your legs were mostly covered. Into a position closer to him.

"Hyunjin, you're playing?" Somin asked from the opposite end, snapping him out of it.

Only then he realised he had been staring for too long — more eyes on him than he would've enjoyed, all of them waiting for his answer so the game could begin.

Hyunjin shook his head no, walking over to the closest wall and leaning against it as he faced the human circle that had just been created. "Just watching".

Feeling your familiar stare on him from the corner of his eyes, he locked them with yours, and he could see you shift in your place as you became nervous under his piercing stare. No one else but Heesung had seemed to notice the subtle change in your mood.

Your eyes only broke contact when the same girl that had announced the game for everyone to join before began to explain the dynamics of the so-called 'whisper game'. It was simple — one person secretly asked a question to another one, the latter answered out loud for everyone to hear, and whoever wanted to know what the question was had to take a shot.

Hyunjin could only thank that they had gone with that drinking game instead of the cliché spin the bottle one. Although he might've played this time around, in hopes to get to feel your addictive lips on his one more time. The idea of you kissing someone else, however, was not nearly as appealing — not to say horrifying.

This whole different game was pretty boring from the sideways, he realised ten minutes in. Hearing answer after answer without getting any context as to what had been asked seemed pointless, yet he could not find himself to be interested enough to sit down and play, nor indifferent enough to leave — not when you were still playing.

The only time he had felt the urge to join was when this other guy had gotten close enough to whisper something to you and make you laugh quite loud, which was followed by a shake of your head and a confident "no". Half of the people there had not hesitated to drink up and crawl over to the guy so they could find out what he had asked you, and Hyunjin would lie if he said he didn't consider taking a shot right then.

Other than that, he could feel himself grow bored.

Up until a redhead asked something to Heesung later on, causing him to look shy for a moment there. And, you see, that itself was not enough to catch Hyunjin's attention, he could not care any less about the guy and what he had to say. But seeing him lean in to whisper something in your ear, when it wasn't even his turn to ask, had him tensing up on his place.

You seemed a bit taken aback by whatever it was that Nana had told you — your eyes unconsciously going up to Hyunjin for a millisecond before they were back on Heesung. And then you nodded.

As if mimicking your actions, Nana nodded as well, fixing his eyes back on the girl who had asked him a question before he finally answered. "Y/N".

The girl covered her mouth as she squealed, that simple action having people taking shots like their lives depended on it — all of them obnoxiously cooing once they got the answer they had drank for.

Only you had seemed not to drink. Maybe because you already knew the answer, he thought. Maybe that's what Heesung had whispered to you before announcing your name to everyone else. Maybe he had just confessed, and he wanted you to be the first one to know.

Hyunjin's head was all over the place — the mere idea of you and Heesung together, and him being too, late made him want to scream.

As if that wasn't enough to freak him out, Heesung's turn to ask was next. The second he leaned in to ask you something, Hyunjin knew he was taking the shot.

Having heard the question, you sat back up, conflicted eyes once more locking with Hyunjin's, as you seemed to look for the answer deep down you already knew.

And for a moment there, just for a second, Hyunjin thought he would be your choice. Whatever the question had been, whether important or not, he thought his name would be the one abandoning your mouth next. However, he was proven wrong the second your eyes went back to Heesung.

"You".

Heesung smiled, and Hyunjin felt his hands turn into a fist for the second time that night — only now he could actually feel his knuckles turn white out of anger. Out of jealousy.

Before he could stop himself, he was taking a seat next to you and snatching from your hand the shot that had previously been refilled, not even caring about the stranger next to you he had just shoved aside to get some space in between, and most definitely not thinking twice before he was downing it all in one go and feeling the liquor burn its way down his throat.

"You can't just get in the game whenever you feel like it" you quietly recriminated him.

Hyunjin shrugged, staring at you in such a way you knew he was not giving this up. "I already drank, so tell me".

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

How you had found yourself to be in such a situation was beyond you.

The party had been going great for the first hour and a half. You and Heesung had been stuck together the entire time, taking things to the backyard and sitting down on a bench by the pool, just talking and laughing the night away, joining in eventual conversations with his classmates — yet somehow preferring to just be the two of you for most of the time.

It had been later on when everything had seemed to go to shit. When the two of you had gone back inside after you had gotten cold, and Heesung proposed going to the kitchen to get more drinks. You had agreed to it in a heartbeat, laughing on your way over there, as having another drink sounded just perfect to you.

Until your eyes met Hyunjin's first thing once in there.

And maybe it wouldn't have really mattered to you that he was there, if it weren't for the fact that he had company.

You couldn't help but feel stupid right there. Two months. You had been trying to get over him for a little over two months now, and you still felt your heart squeeze at the sight of him and someone else.

All you could do right then without being too obvious about the evident change in your mood was to greet him — quickly, barely acknowledging him before moving on.

That's why you had thanked Heesung for getting you out of there as soon as you were back in the living room, and why the drinking game was perfect timing. You had not even hesitated before you dragged Nana to join it with you. You would get to avoid Hyunjin and his date —or whatever that acting major was to him— and get your mind off the way your heart had felt at the sight of them together.

Of course, you didn't count on her wanting to play as well and sitting down right across from you. At least Hyunjin didn't seem interested enough to join in as well — you surely wouldn't have been able to handle his answers to the possible questions he would've been getting, especially when he seemed to have come here with someone else. No matter how hard you had tried, you realised right then you weren't nearly halfway getting over him. You were nowhere near ready to see him with someone else just yet.

The questions had been pretty silly at first, everyone was having a laugh and drinking for the sake of it. Or, well, for the sake of gossip. Drama was something that seemed far away from the game. Up until this one guy asked a girl who she'd rather make out with in the party and she answered with no hesitation. From then on, the questions began getting more serious, spicier.

You had been too busy laughing at Heesung when a redhead —whose name you had learned was Minseo— used her turn to ask him of all people a question, to even notice him leaning in towards you and placing his lips dangerously close to your ear.

"Do you wanna see whether Hwang feels something for you?"

His words had you physically leaning back and away from him, staring at him in shock for a moment before your eyes travelled towards Hyunjin, whose awaiting eyes were already fixing on yours.

Did you? That was the thing, did you want to know whether he felt something for you? Did you want to know now of all times? Now that you guys were done and you were trying your hardest to move on?

The rational side of you was quick to answer no. No, you did not want to know. You were done with him. Whether he felt something for you or not did not matter in the slightest, because it would not change anything.

The romantic side of you, the one that had been in love with Hwang Hyunjin for over a year now and that was still hurting over him not feeling the same way you did, wanted to know. Because that part of you was the hardest to shut down, especially when it came to the one person you had felt the strongest for.

In the end, the answer was simple. Your heart always seemed to win when it came to making decisions somehow. So you nodded.

And as Nana said your name out loud and everyone freaked out over it, even more after hearing what he had been asked for him to say your name as his final answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at Hyunjin.

Reading him, his feelings and thoughts, had never been an easy task to do. Right then, however, although still wearing a rather unreadable serious semblance, you could tell he was not happy.

He did not like to have your name abandon Heesung's mouth like that in the slightest.

And for a moment there, you thought he was about to join the game and take a shot. You thought he would care enough to go and find find the answer. But he didn't.

Too focused on him, you didn't even drink. Not like you really cared about what the previous question had been, you knew Nana hadn't meant his answer anyway. Plus, you would probably end up hearing it from someone else at some point, just like you were sure Hyunjin would, too.

When it was Heesung's turn to ask and he leaned in once more towards you, though, this time asking an actual question that you would have to answer out loud for everyone to hear, you were able to get an idea as to what he had been asked right before.

"Out of everyone here, who would you like to kiss tonight?"

Now, you knew he was doing this to help you get a reaction out of Hyunjin. Therefore, you were supposed to answer him, Na Heesung. Not a single thought. Just say his name. Right away.

But you couldn't help but actually give it a second thought.

You could've said Hyunjin. He was the one you wanted to kiss that night, being honest, and you wanted nothing but to slap yourself across the face for you to wake the fuck up. You were not supposed to want to kiss him. Not tonight, not ever. Yet here you were, locking eyes with him while you internally debated whether you should say his name or not.

No, you couldn't say his name — you were hit with a change of heart. Even if you wanted to kiss him, even if you were dying to feel his mouth on yours like you had oh-so-many-times done by now, you couldn't say it out loud. Not for everyone to hear. Not for him to hear. Not when you knew he didn't want to be with you in the same way you wanted to be with him.

You couldn't keep making a fool out of yourself. You couldn't keep giving him the pleasure of your undivided attention when he didn't reciprocate.

Forcing yourself to look away from him, you nervously fidgeted with one of the buttons on your dress, collecting all the sanity you had left before you could find it in you to confidently look at Nana and to answer for once and for all. "You".

The collective cheer that followed your one-word answer, right before the nosy players began drinking down their shots, was no surprise. You had expected it no matter what your answer was.

What you were not expecting was for Hyunjin to sit down next to you in what felt like a second — snatching the drink from your hand and downing it all in one go, so he could demand to hear what you had been asked.

It was funny, not to say tragic, how, somehow, all your decisions, all your feelings, always came back to Hyunjin.

You had come to this party to forget about him. You had felt that annoying, oh-so-familiar pressure in your chest because of him, when you saw him with someone else. You had decided to play this drinking game to once again keep your mind away from him. You had agreed to play along with Heesung's scheme because of him. You had answered Heesung because of him.

And now, you were currently panicking because of him. The one and only, Hwang Hyunjin.

Always, Hwang Hyunjin.

"Well?" he pushed it. "What was the question?"

"Um…" you hesitated, looking back at Heesung, in hopes of getting some help from him.

"Oh, come on," the girl Hyunjin had been with when you greeted him earlier that night spoke up. "Everyone already drank, you guys can announce it out loud and save us the trouble of having to go there and hear it one by one".

Heesung's eyes locked with yours, silently asking for permission to let everyone know what he had just asked.

You shrugged, defeated. Everyone would end up knowing anyway. Hyunjin would end up knowing anyway. There was no escape this time around, so it was better to just get it over with.

"Um. I asked who she'd rather kiss".

Everyone's reaction was the exact same as it had been when they found out why Nana had answered with your name before. Only this time it was in unison, louder, as they had all found out at the same time.

And this time you could feel Hyunjin tense up right next to you.

You couldn't bring yourself to look at him, keeping it safe instead by looking down to your lap, while your face burned up in embarrassment as you heard different voices speculating about your relationship with Heesung.

"Hold on, hold on," Minseo's cheeky tone brought everyone's attention to her. "So Nana said he'd like to take Y/N home with him by the end of the night and now Y/N said she'd rather kiss him~"

Hyunjin's face snapped in your direction, a frown visible on it as he seemed to be piecing everything together. The same as you were at this newfound information. So that was what Heesung had answered your name for.

His intentions of helping you out made a lot more sense now that Hyunjin had heard the question, too.

Not like he had much time to process it anyway, as another girl who had gotten way too much to drink by now was fast to chant, "Ohhh, now kiss!"

Both you and Heesung tensed up in your spot, exchanging looks as you hoped no one else would engage with that comment.

Your luck was no such, though, for it was only a matter of seconds before everyone started chanting for the two of you to kiss as well.

Everyone but Hyunjin, of course. Unlike the rest, who seemed to be enjoying this way too much, he remained silent, still, almost scared of moving — as if the slightest of movements from him would send you straight to Heesung's mouth.

"We're not kissing in front of you all" Heesung tried to play it off with a laugh.

"Yeah," you joined him. "You guys are crazy".

That had only served as fuel to the fire. The chanting now becoming louder, followed along with claps, to the point you knew there was no changing their drunken minds unless you gave them what they wanted.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Ugh, I'm sorry" he apologised to you, voice barely audible in between all the madness.

You shook your head, letting him know it was alright. "Let's just get it over with"

Although your voice came out in more of a mumble and you would've thought he wouldn't hear you, the surprise displaying on his face let you know otherwise.

"You sure?" he whispered.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

You nodded, it was just one kiss after all, no big deal. The fact that Hyunjin was right next to you had been completely pushed to the back of your head by now, his presence being long overshadowed by the loud unison voices clouding your judgment.

Watching Heesung nod as well in silent agreement, you leaned in, meeting his lips halfway. Just like that. No hesitation, no second thoughts.

They were nice, soft. Enough so that you knew you would've actually enjoyed the feel of them on yours a lot more if it weren't for the cheers hurting your ears — not to say if it weren't for the fact that you were only doing it because of the social pressure.

You also would've enjoyed it one hell of a lot more if your mind weren't suddenly back on Hyunjin as Heesung's lips sucked on your bottom one.

You could've sworn you had heard his voice call out your name right as your mouth pressed to Nana's. But then again, that might've been the part of you that was still head over heels for him — the one part of you that was still hopeful, the one that still wanted him to show any kind of feelings for you.

The part of you you needed to get rid of.

Pulling away from Heesung after a couple of seconds, Hyunjin was gone.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"I'm sorry" Heesung apologised for the third time since you had quit the game.

The whisper game had been turned into spin the bottle right after your kiss, and neither you nor Heesung wanted to partake in it.

It had been harder than you had thought to leave the game, as everyone was trying to make you guys stay so it wouldn't turn boring due to losing players, but you had managed to sneak into the kitchen after a while.

You were not kissing anyone else that night.

"Nana, it's fine" you tried to laugh it off once more, sipping on the water you had decided to take in order to cancel out the few shots you drank. "It was just a game".

"Yeah, but…" he sighed. "I don't know, I didn't think it'd go that far".

"Neither did I, but… it's done now" you shrugged, placing your now empty glass down on the counter.

"At least we got a reaction out of our main target" he smirked.

"What tar—oh" you remembered, making Heesung laugh at your cluelessness. "He just left, though…"

"And that itself says a lot?!" he pointed out in disbelief. "And come on, he literally jumped to take that shot when you answered with my name".

"I mean, yeah, but…" you shrugged. "I don't know, he's always been jealous… or possessive, whatever you want to call it, like that".

"He's always had feelings for you then".

At that, you couldn't hold your laugh. "Yeah, right".

"I'm serious, though".

"No, I think it's just… I don't know, he grew way too used to being the only one in my eyes. Any other time I would've answered with his name. He doesn't like not having that anymore, that's all".

"Y/N, you cannot for the love of God be that oblivious!" Nana whined, grabbing your shoulders and shaking them for you to get a grip. "He wouldn't go to such extents just because of that".

It was now your turn to whine, letting your head fall to his shoulder as you lamented. "Everything is just so confusing when it comes to him, I don't know what to believe anymore".

"I think you should believe what you just saw, I mean… Y/N, he literally left when we kissed".

You let out a heavy sigh, feeling Heesung's shoulders slump down as he decided to drop the topic and pull you into his arms in a comforting hug.

"You wanna leave?" he asked after a couple of seconds.

"Yeah… that might be for the best" you mumbled, slowly pulling away from his embrace as you stood up straight. "There is no way we're leaving together now, though. I won't have my name in yet another rumor".

"Seems like the fair thing to do" he chuckled. "But there's no way I'm letting you go back home alone so late, I'll just head out first and wait for you outside or something".

"I guess that could work" you agreed.

"It will," he reassured you. "Although, to be honest, I don't think they'd start a rumor regarding us two".

"I can't trust your classmates anymore, I'm sorry" you shrugged, much to his own amusement. "No but that's not all because, like, imagine if they saw us leaving together and made us kiss again".

"I get that it was mere social pressure but don't make it sound like kissing me sucks" he dramatically clutched at his chest.

Rolling your eyes, you looked away as you denied, "I didn't hate kissing you, if I'm honest… I'm just saying".

Heesung smiled. "I didn't hate it either".

You felt your cheeks heat up all over again, just like they had when you pulled away from the kiss a couple of minutes ago. That had probably been the alcohol speaking, but you did mean it.

The kiss was nice. Pleasant. Different from Hyunjin's. Different from the way you felt with Hyunjin's. But nice nonetheless.

Before any of you could try and say anything else, however, someone clearing their throat at the entrance caught your attention.

Hyunjin stood there with his arms crossed over his chest and a stare you had not seen on him for a good while now, if ever. It was cold, and you couldn't pinpoint whether he was hurt or mad, nor whether he was feeling that way towards you or Heesung — or maybe both.

So cold, that you felt yourself to be oh-so-little under it.

"Am I interrupting something?" his voice sounded just as cold as his eyes looked.

Heesung bit his bottom lip, swallowing his own words not to make the situation any worse and looking at you instead, so you could be the one to answer.

"N-No…" you stuttered, eyes abandoning Nana's and fixing on Hyunjin's.

He nodded, entering the kitchen and silently going over to pour himself a drink.

Giving you an understanding look before you could even process what was going on, Heesung took a step away from you and towards the entrance. "We forgot my jacket in the living room after the game, so…"

"Nana…" you whispered, failing to grab his hand for him to stay.

He motioned towards Hyunjin, whose back was turned towards you, and gave you a reassuring smile before he left the room.

You stayed in your place. Hyunjin and you were now the only ones in there, and you couldn't bring yourself to say a word to him. Were you even supposed to say anything? His back was turned to you, after all, maybe he didn't want to talk at all. Maybe you were just supposed to leave. Maybe he wanted to be left alone, too.

Leaving seemed like the best option.

"He a good kisser?" Hyunjin asked, still not bothering to look at you.

You stopped in your tracks just as you were about to cross the door and turned around to look at him, finding yourself at a loss of words — completely taken aback by his bold question.

"What?"

"You enjoyed the kiss?" he rephrased it, finally turning around and looking at you as he took a sip of his drink.

"Why are you asking me this?" your voice faltered. "Shouldn't you be with your date?"

Hyunjin snorted. "Had you stayed one more second when we greeted and had you let me explain, you would've known by now that I came on my own and it was Changbin hyung's date who snuck me in".

The relief you felt at that made you mad at yourself all over again. It shouldn't matter who he came here with, nor who invited him in. You weren't supposed to care. You weren't supposed to feel your heart so at ease over this.

"You don't have to explain yourself to me, though…"

"Don't I?" he tilted his head, placing his cup on the counter and walking towards you. "Why did you bring my supposed date up then?"

Looking up at him, you were once again at a loss of words. You couldn't give him a proper answer, not without letting him know you still cared. So, you said nothing, instead shaking your head before you walked right past him and out of the kitchen.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

"We're not gonna talk about it?" he pushed it, following hot on your heels as soon as you entered the living room looking for Heesung.

"There is nothing to talk about" you mumbled, loud enough for him to hear.

Looking around for a second, you poundered your options. Going to the couch by the corner that had a free spot would only draw attention, as you were sure Hyunjin would not give it up just because there were people around. Going to the backyard would be pretty much the same.

Your eyes went up to the main staircase and then to the second floor, and that was all it took for you to go for it.

"No?" he followed you up the stairs, reaching for your hand and pulling you back towards him as soon as you were in the hallway. "So kissing another guy right in front of me is nothing now?"

You scoffed. "Why do you even care?"

"I thought it was obvious?"

"It's not" you answered coldly, pulling your hand out of his grasp.

"Think again then".

You shook your head in defeat. "Is it because it's Heesung?"

That had seemed to catch him by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Are you mad that I kissed someone else in front of you or are you mad that it was Heesung?"

Hyunjin scoffed. "You could've kissed some complete stranger and I would've been just as hurt".

Hurt. Hurt.

He said hurt. Not mad, not annoyed, but hurt.

For the first time in a while, you felt yourself being delusional and allowing yourself to believe he did feel something for you. Something more than simple care. Something more than the selfish need to have your undivided attention all on him.

That simple use of words of his had been able to make you feel the hope you no longer thought you had by now.

"Y/N?" Hyunjin snapped you out of it. "Are you even listening to me?"

You bit the inside of your cheek, hesitating before you spoke. "I don't get you, Hyunjin".

"What is it that you don't get?"

"Why you're acting like this…"

"Because you kissed another guy" he repeated, and you could tell he was beginning to lose his temper.

"That's not—" you sighed. "Okay, so I kissed another guy. I kissed Heesung. I did. But as opposed to what, kissing you?"

Hyunjin's eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"You're talking like I cheated on you somehow" you pointed out. "You're mad that I kissed someone who was not you, but it's not like we're kissing either?"

"Do you want us to kiss?"

It was now your turn to scoff, staring at him incredulously for a moment before you tried to walk past him once again and go down the stairs.

"Y/N, wait" he stopped you once more, holding you by your shoulders.

"You just can't be serious for shit, can you?" you snapped, shoving his hands away from you.

"I am serious!" he exclaimed. "I am serious, Y/N. I'm just so fucking conflicted right now because I literally saw you with someone else and I'm trying to win you back here—"

"Win me back?" you whispered, inaudibly to him.

"But there are so many thoughts running through my head right now I can't think straight, like, do you like him? Did you feel something when you kissed him? Does he like you? Is he a better kisser than me?"

"Hyunjin…"

"Because I don't think he could be. He isn't, right? Is he?"

"You can't just ask that" you frowned. "Why would it even matter anyway".

"It just does…"

"I don't go around asking you if all the girls you've kissed apart from me are better than me".

"You could" he shrugged.

"What?"

"You could ask me. And I'd say you in a heartbeat".

"Hyunjin—"

"You are better than them, Y/N".

"Hyunjin".

"I'm serious" he stated. "There's a reason I kissed you pretty much every time we saw each other. It's different when there are feelings involved".

You scoffed, rolling your eyes before you looked away. "Glad you could tell how head over heels I was for you".

"I'm talking about me".

You froze.

Silent, still. Eyes looking for some kind of amusement in his — anything that would hint at his words being a joke. Just one mean, fucking cruel joke.

You found nothing.

"W-What?"

"I'm talking about my feelings, not yours".

"You—No. Feelings? No, you can't do this again".

"Y/N..."

"You can't mess with my head all over again, I thought we were past this".

"We will never be past this," he denied. "Not until you listen to me and actually believe what I've been trying to tell you for a while now".

"And what is it that you've been trying to tell me now?"

Hyunjin sighed, nervously looking around and only then hitting him that the two of you had been in the hallway all along. Although it was pretty much isolated, apart from the couple in their own world a couple of meters away, he felt shy all of a sudden. Especially since anyone could walk up the stairs any minute.

"Not here" he mumbled.

Staring at his hand on yours the next second, you let him guide you through the hallway in search of an empty room the two of you could talk inside of — without other people possibly watching or even overhearing everything you had to say.

It only took opening three doors and coming across two locked ones to finally find an empty bedroom.

Walking inside, you were thankful by the fact that a small lamp remained turned on by the nightstand, providing you both with some much needed —dim— light, as you had been too busy pulling your hand out of his grasp and Hyunjin too busy closing the door behind you to bother looking for a light.

"So?" you pushed it. "Are you telling me what's going on?"

He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm trying, Y/N. It's not easy for me".

"That's what you said last time" you reminded him. "I don't know, Hyunjin. I'm trying to be understanding here and be friends again but you keep pulling this kind of stuff and honestly by now I feel like maybe this is all about attention".

"Attention?"

You nodded. "You had never been interested in me until I started hooking up with Binnie. And now you started being all sweet to me and getting jealous all over again when I started hanging out with Heesung".

"It's not like that…"

"Then how is it like?" you crossed your arms over your chest. "Because it really does look like I'm some kind of game to you".

"You're not just a game to me, Y/N. You're so much more, I—" he exhaled shakily. "Okay, yes, I started showing interest after you and Bin hyung started hooking up, there's no denying it, but I kinda needed that to realise that I wanted to be with you".

"You didn't want to be with me, though…" you mumbled. "Not seriously, at least. That's the point".

"Yes, I did" he confessed, and you felt as if your heart had stopped for a moment. "I did, Y/N. I was just too much of an idiot to realise".

"You don't…" you sighed. "No, what are you saying?"

"I want to be with you, Y/N. For real".

Your whole body stilled and your knees went weak, needing to lean back against the door for some kind of support.

You could not believe your ears. He could not be serious, could he? He was joking. This was all some kind of mean, mean joke. It had to be. Wasn't it?

"Can you say something?" he nervously whispered.

"You don't mean that…"

"I do mean it. I had never meant anything else as much as I mean this".

"Do you realise your timing?" you recriminated him, finally snapping out of it. "Like, you do realise how much of a joke this sounds like right now, don't you?"

"Why would I be joking about something like this?"

"I don't—I don't know…" you shook your head, unconsciously taking a step back. "It does sound to me like you only want to make sure I don't get over you and move on to someone else".

"You really think that low of me?" Hyunjin questioned, eyebrows furrowing not really in offense, but hurt instead. "You genuinely believe I'm doing this out of attention?"

You remained silent, much to his dislike.

"You really think I'm doing this to keep you wrapped around my finger? Seriously, Y/N?" he questioned. "All the sweet words? All the art studio visits? All the times I try to hang out with you alone or just talk to you? All the times I've gotten so obviously jealous? You really think I'm doing it all to play with you?"

You shrugged, not daring to look him in the eye as you replied, "I don't know when it comes to you anymore…"

That had felt like a punch in the gut for him, finding himself leaning back as he took a shaky breath. "Wow…"

"I'm just saying, you did all those things before too and you didn't want a serious relationship, how am I supposed to know it's any different now?"

"Because it just is!" he threw his head back in frustration. "I wanted a relationship with you too back then but I was too stupid to realise it. I wanted to be with you at all times, I wanted to kiss you, I wanted you all to myself. I didn't even care about going to someone else to hook up with but I still made myself believe I did just because I was too scared to admit to myself that I was falling for you".

"Hyunjin—"

"No, you're listening to me now" he cut you off, decided to get his point across and determined to make you hear him out. "I know the timing could not be any more shitty and that it seems like I'm doing this just because I want you to only ever have eyes for me, and yes, I do want you to only ever have eyes for me, but not for the reason you're imagining. I want you to only be into me because I too am only into you".

You snorted, incredulously rolling your eyes as you backed away and tried to reach for the doorknob. At that, Hyunjin pressed his hand against the door — his strength overpowering you and forbidding you from opening it. The way his face was now inches away from yours as he cornered you against the only exit you had, however, had been enough to keep you still and stop fighting him right away.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I am only into you?" he mumbled this time.

"I, I just—I don't," you struggled to get the words out of your mouth. "You literally said that you didn't think you'd ever be able to give me the relationship I was expecting from you, that you wanted to be free and—"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I was just being stupid?" he repeated. "What I wanted was right there in front of me and I was too much of an idiot to see it, until I eventually lost you and what we had and it hit me".

"And how do I know you won't go back to wanting to be free and sleep around after we get back together? How do I know this is what you truly want and not just you wanting what you can't have?"

"Because I have feelings for you!"

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Feelings. Feelings.

His feelings. For you.

Although he had hinted at it minutes ago when he was recriminating you for kissing Heesung, you had chosen not to believe your ears. He had not meant it like that, as far as you knew.

But now he had said it, word by word. He had looked at you straight in the eye and told you he had feelings for you. Actual romantic feelings for you. And he wanted to act on them now, as opposed to months ago when he claimed to like you one hell of a lot yet didn't feel like being in a relationship with you.

You remained frozen, quiet — scared of moving, even. Feeling like your voice would fail you the moment you opened your mouth to speak.

"You what?" you whispered, weakly.

"I have feelings for you, Y/N" Hyunjin said once again, calmer this time, yet somehow determination being clearer in his voice. "It took me way too long to realise, but there's a reason I couldn't let go of you even after you wanted nothing to do with me. There's a reason what we had was so close to an actual relationship to begin with. There's a reason I hate to see you and Heesung together now, and why it hurt so fucking much to see you kiss him that I had to physically leave the room or I would've either broken down or beaten him up right there".

"I didn't…" you took a deep breath. "I didn't think it would hurt you, I didn't do it to spite you…"

"I get that, Y/N, but it fucking hurt. It fucking hurt so much, more than I could've ever imagined. I really wanted to pull you away from there and to be the one to kiss you instead. Because I do have feelings for you. And that is the exact reason why I won't go back to wanting to sleep around," he leaned in, softly resting his forehead on yours. "I only want to be with you. I mean it".

"You do?" you whispered, already feeling yourself melting under his simple touch.

"I do," he confirmed in a heartbeat. "Fuck, baby, I want to be with you so bad".

Your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the pet name you had not heard in so long.

"Hyunjin…" you pouted. "Don't play with me".

He took a deep, shaky breath, bringing his thumb up to trace your bottom lip. "I'm not playing," his eyes travelled back up to your eyes. "You're driving me crazy, Y/N. I don't know what else to do for you to believe I'm serious about us".

Us. Us.

You could've screamed right then and there if it weren't for the fact that your voice was failing you when you needed it the most.

You couldn't believe just how weak you were still when it came to him.

"I'm just… so confused, Hyunjin…"

He nodded understandingly, letting out a heavy sigh as he tried to compose himself as well. "I get that it's all very confusing and hard to believe, but I'll do anything if it means you'll believe me" he whispered, gently bringing a hand up to cup your cheek. "I do mean it when I say I want to be with you, Y/N. Only you".

Too stunned to say anything, you nodded — gently, almost invisibly, as right then you weren't sure of anything. It was a dream, as far as you knew.

But it was a dream you didn't want to wake up from.

"Okay…" you whispered.

"Okay?" he asked, hope clear in his voice.

"You can… show me that you mean it…"

Hyunjin smiled brightly, his eyes turning into two crescent moons as he tried to process your words. "You're serious?"

"Mhm…" you softly nodded. "If you fuck up again after this… I won't be able to give you any more chances, though…"

"I won't," he promised. "I won't, I—fuck, I'm so happy" a breathy laugh escaped his mouth, making your heart flutter as you watched him try to compose himself.

You couldn't help the small smile that had curved up the corners of your lips at the sight of his own, closing your eyes when he once again rested his forehead on yours and lovingly bumped your nose.

Looking down to your mouth for a second, his uncertain eyes were back up on yours. "Would I be an asshole if I kissed you right now?"

You shook your head no, maybe a little too quickly for your own liking. As much as you had tried to deny it, to push such thoughts away, you wanted him to kiss you.

You needed to feel his plump, cloudlike lips on yours again. Right then, as you had them only a centimeter away from yours, and as you could feel his hot breath hit your mouth, you felt like you would die if you didn't get a taste of them.

Thankfully, you didn't need to reach such an extent, for Hyunjin himself felt like he would die if he didn't feel your mouth against his right at that moment, and so your shake of head was all he needed to close the small space the two of you were going insane over.

You had not forgotten how much you missed the feel of his mouth on yours, but as his lips opened ever so slightly to press deeper against yours, you could only realise just how fucking much you had actually missed it.

It was needy, messy, different to every other kiss you had shared before — even during your make out sessions. Your breathings not taking long to become heavier and have you gasping for air. It almost felt like you would die the moment your lips pulled away from each other.

Having his tongue massage yours the way only he could and biting on your bottom lip like he knew it drove you crazy, you couldn't stop the small hum that escaped your mouth, feeling yourself getting drunk on the touch and taste of him.

Hyunjin smiled, hands tightening on your hips to pull you as close as he could to him, before they traced their way up your back and pressed your chest to his — letting out a heavy yet blissful sigh when you took his look for closeness one step further by tightening your arms around his neck and deepening the kiss.

"Fuck, you're driving me crazy" he mumbled against your lips, feeling you chuckle in between the kiss in response.

Air no longer seemed like a necessity, both of you being too long gone to even think of breaking the contact between your mouths. Instead, Hyunjin's hands travelled down to your lower back to pull you closer, as he had felt you move slightly away from him and he was not having it.

Missing the touch of his right hand on your lower back the next second, however, you whined, earning a breathy laugh from him against your hot mouth. That's when you heard the lock of the door twist behind you, and suddenly it made sense why his hand had abandoned the comfort of your body.

Not giving you time to react, the same hand of his you had whined about now travelled further down to the back of your thigh, pulling it up around his waist before his other hand joined and he lifted you up. You smiled in between the kiss, helping him by wrapping your legs around him as he adjusted himself in between them and held you up against the door.

"What do you think you're doing?" you teased him, barely catching your breath.

"Nothing yet" he smirked, sucking on your bottom lip.

You smiled, leaning down to trap his bottom lip in between yours and then pulling at it with a soft bite. "And what's stopping you?"

Groaning at both your words and the pressure your teeth were applying on his flesh, he went back to suck on your lip — his hot tongue tracing over it before it opened its way into your mouth and was gladly met by yours.

A small, barely audible moan escaped your mouth when your body slid slightly down and the friction against his sent a wave of pleasure to your inner thighs. So quiet, that he wouldn't have heard it had he not been kissing you right then, unintentionally muffling out that one sweet sound of yours he wanted to hear the most.

Wanting to hear more of it, he tightened his hold around your waist, so he could let one of his hands travel down to your ass, giving it a light squeeze and not letting go until he reached the king bed, where he gently laid you down on, and wasted no time to be right back on your lips.

"You're not drunk, are you?" he wondered, tenderly caressing your waist.

You shook your head no, resting a hand on his cheek. "I wasn't that into gossip to drink as many shots as everyone else".

Hyunjin chuckled, stealing a lingering kiss from you. "You won't hate me in the morning then?"

You bit your bottom lip, anticipating what was about to happen with just that simple question of his. "I won't".

"Promise?" he mumbled, slowly brushing his lips on yours.

"Promise" you smiled, pulling him down by his collar and trapping his bottom lip in between your needy ones.

Not letting go of the white fabric of his shirt, you began to slowly unbutton it down — one button at a time, slowly enough to drive him crazy.

Neither you bothered taking it off, nor did he bother removing it. You just stared, running your fingertips over the uncovered skin of his toned chest and smiling at the visible goosebumps your touch alone had provoked on him.

"Don't be a tease" he warned, burying his head in the crook of your neck.

"I'm just touching you..."

"Exactly".

A small giggle escaped your mouth at his answer, feeling him smile against your skin before he placed an open mouth kiss to it. And then another. And another. Sucking on your flesh in such a way you would be surprised if you didn't walk out of there without a purple mark on it.

Just as his hand was placed on your waist to keep you in place and your breathing became heavier, his kisses began moving down to your chest, leaving a trail of them all the way from your neck to your shoulder, where he stopped for a moment to pull down the sleeve of your dress so he could press a wet kiss directly to your skin. He then moved to your collarbone, loving the way he could already feel your chest heavily move up and down before he could even get to it.

And then he moved down to your cleavage.

Holding the first button of your dress in between his fingers, he looked up at you, asking for permission before carrying on. At a loss of words, you nodded, feeling your body heat up when he undid the first one and moved onto the second one — and so on until he stopped right above your belly button.

He couldn't help but admire you, not needing to undo any more buttons right then as he had you lying down with nothing but a black bralette covering your chest. Leaning down to plant a kiss to your addictive mouth, he couldn't help his hand from grabbing one of your breasts, feeling himself grow hard at the sound of the small gasp you had just let out against his lips.

Using his knee to pull your legs apart, he lied in between them, slowly thrusting against your core as he squeezed your breast once again. This time, you couldn't help the moan that had slipped right past your lips, as you felt him hard against the one place where you needed him the most.

Hyunjin smirked, kissing you harder and muffling out another moan of yours after he thrusted once more, harder as well.

"Fuck, baby" he breathed out. "You're driving me crazy".

"I should be the one saying that…" you confessed.

He chuckled, leaning down to devour your mouth like his life depended on it. Letting go after what felt like too short of a time for your liking, he went back down to your chest and bagan peppering a few kisses on the uncovered skin. A small groan left his throat when his kisses moved further down and his lips were met no longer by the softness of your naked body, but with the fabric of your bralette instead.

Barely detaching his mouth from the spot he had been teasing, he pulled your bra down to uncover one of your breasts and wasted no time to wrap his mouth around your nipple. It hardened at the first touch of his, feeling him smile against your flesh right before he began to swirl his tongue around your sensitive bud.

Your breathing became heavier, chest tremblingly moving up and down as he continued his ministrations — bringing one of your hands to your unattended breast so you could touch yourself. Only Hyunjin didn't let you, grabbing your fingers right as they grazed over your bra and pulling your hand down on the mattress.

"I'm the one touching you, baby" he gazed up at you, just like that having you obey him.

Without another word, he pulled the remaining cup down as well to release your other breast and give it the attention you had silently been begging for, not forgetting about the one he had been sucking on previously, as he gave it a slow squeeze before he pinched your already sensitive nipple.

You writhed underneath him, lifting your hips up to rub against his erection and get some of the friction you so desperately needed. Hyunjin didn't fight it, instead pressing a hand down on your waist to keep you still as he grinded on you just the way you wanted him to.

"Hyunjin… fuck".

Grinning against your chest, he let go of your now over-sensitive bud and traced his fingertips all the way down to your thighs instead. He teasingly rubbed his thumb right beside your inner thigh, without really touching you where you were desperate for him to touch you.

When a pretty whine of yours reached his ears not even three seconds later, however, he decided to stop your torture. Gently palming your core over your panties, he felt himself grow harder over how much more wet than he had expected you actually were.

"Fuck," he groaned, running two of his fingers up and down your slit over the damp fabric. "Can't wait to be buried deep inside you".

You whined under your breath, that thought alone having you trying to squeeze your legs together, in desperate need to release the sudden itch in between them. Noticing this, as you had failed ever so miserably given that he was in between your legs, stopping you from pulling them back together, Hyunjin took it upon himself.

Leaning down to crash his mouth on yours, parting your lips with his tongue as he searched for the touch of yours, he pulled your panties aside, earning a melodic whimper from you the moment those same fingers than had been touching you over the thin fabric before were now running up and down your wet folds.

"Hyunjin," you breathed out when he stopped right at your entrance and toyed with it, pushing one of his fingers inside you. "Hm—fuck, Hyunjin, don't tease…"

He chuckled, biting your lip before he pulled you into another kiss — curling his finger up as he softly pistoned inside your walls. "But I wanna take my time…"

"Please," you begged, feeling yourself clenching around his finger. "No teasing tonight, I just need you inside me".

"No teasing tonight?" he pulled away from your mouth and removed a strand of hair from off your face with his free hand. "You're saying there will be another time?"

You didn't reply, feeling the heat reach your face as the implication of your own words had just hit you. Hyunjin laughed breathily, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.

"Okay then, no teasing tonight" he gave in, removing his finger from you and having you whimper over the sudden emptiness. "But I still need to make sure you're wet enough".

"I'm already wet enough" you whispered.

He smiled against your lips. Fuck, he swore right then you could not look any hotter, and he could not be any harder.

"You think so?" he mumbled against your lips.

"Yes," you blurted out in a heartbeat. "Please, Hyunjin, just fuck me".

"Fuck, you're so hot" he breathed out, earning a breathy, contented laugh from you that was followed with a short kiss to his mouth. "You're on the pill, right?"

"You didn't bring a…"

He shook his head no, and you could feel him begin to panic. "You're not?"

"I am, it's okay," you reassured him with a kiss, gently brushing his hair back. "I just thought you'd at least carry one around at a party".

"I only came here for you tonight, and I wasn't being this optimistic".

"Mm… maybe we should stop right here then, to keep things closer to your expectations".

"Don't you dare" he warned you.

You chuckled, trapping his bottom lip back in between your mouth and bringing your hand down to his pants, palming his bulge over the black fabric and feeling yourself grow needier as a muffled moan came out of his mouth at the sudden pressure.

You had said no teasing, though. So, following your own words, you palmed him one last time before your hand moved up to pull the zip down. Not giving him much time to take in your actions, you took a hold of his hardened member and pulled it out of his underwear.

"Fuck," he growled, already feeling oh-so-sensitive under your touch as you began to move your hand up and down around his length. "You said no teasing".

"I'm not teasing," you breathed out with a small laugh. "But you can't fuck me with it still inside your pants, can you?"

Hyunjin's mouth crashed against yours. "You're gonna be the end of me, for fuck's sake".

Sitting up on the bed, he pulled his pants down to his knees, then taking a hold of your thighs and pulling you closer to him, making a rush of heat run through your whole body and up to your face when he removed your panties completely — even more when you caught his hungry eyes staring.

"Hyunjin..." you called his name when he could not stop himself from touching you.

As if snapping out of a trance, he fixed his eyes on yours, allowing the curves of his lips to curve up as he leaned back down to hover your body. "You're so hot, how am I not supposed to—"

He was shut up by your mouth on his, muffling the following moan of his that ran past his lips when you took a hold of his cock once more and pumped it up and down. Cursing under his breath, he took over your touch when you guided him to your cunt, grabbing his length and slowly rubbing his tip against your slit.

"You sure you want this?" he looked you in the eye.

You quickly nodded, digging your hands under his open shirt and tracing your way to his back as you had suddenly forgotten how to speak.

"Words, baby" he nuzzled your neck.

"You just wanna hear me beg" you complained, feeling your heart race at the sound of his soft laugh.

"Tell me" he pushed it, aligning himself with your entrance. "I'm not fucking you until you tell me".

"Please, Jinnie" you whined.

"Please what, baby?"

"Please, fuck me" your voice could only turn him on more. "Please".

Hushing your pleas with a tender kiss, he held harder onto your waist, keeping you still as he was finally done with the teasing and slowly pushed into you.

"Fuck," he groaned into your mouth, as soon as his tip had slid past your wet walls. "Fuck, you feel so good".

All you could do in return was breathe out heavily, getting lost in the feel of every inch of his stretching their way inside you, rubbing your walls in all the right places as he bottomed out.

Rolling your hips up to meet his as you could only want and need more of him, you got a groan out of him, running your fingers down to his lower back and hinting at him to start moving.

You bit your bottom lip to contain a loud moan from coming out when he complied with your wishes — pulling back and stopping right before the tip of his cock could slip out, to then push all the way back in.

"Oh, my—" you gasped, placing your palms on his waist.

"Feels good?" he asked against your open mouth, pressing his lips to it after you had hummed in content. "Tell me, baby" his hips slammed on yours, making you whimper. "How do you like it?"

"Just like that" you whined, digging your nails on his flesh as his thrusts had become harder. "Fuck, Hyunjin, just like that".

"Yeah?" he smirked, pressing his mouth to the corner of yours.

"Hmm… feels so good".

That was exactly what he wanted to hear.

Smiling against your mouth as another moan abandoned it after one particular thrust of his, he pressed one last kiss to it before hiding his face in the crook of your neck, allowing himself to let out a groan when you once again rolled your hips against his and caused him to reach deeper inside you.

Chest pressing flat on yours, he grabbed hard on your thigh, removing it from around his waist and pushing it down against your ribcage. The new angle had you moaning and your walls clenching around his cock in a heartbeat.

"Y/N, fuck" Hyunjin whined, going up to rest his forehead on yours. "You feel so fucking good".

You trapped his bottom lip in between yours, entangling one of your hands in the black locks at the back of his head and pulling at them ever so lightly, just enough to turn him on even more than he already was and to get a raspy moan out of him — taking the gap in his lips to your advantage by sticking your tongue in it and being met with his responsive one.

Letting go of your thigh, he rested his hand on your ribcage, right under the curve of your breast, pulling away from the comfort of your chest so he could take a proper look at you and the way your body moved with every thrust of his.

"You're so hot," he groaned, rubbing his thumb over your hardened nipple. "So fucking beautiful..."

Throwing your head back at the pleasure, feeling your legs grow weaker by the second, you allowed a moan of his name to slip past your throat. That only had him leaning back down to crash his mouth on yours and grind deeper on you — harder, faster.

The sound of your hot flesh slamming against one another over and over filled the room, to the point you were thankful by the loud music that was playing downstairs and helped this bedroom become as soundproof as it could be.

Your walls clenched around him once more, as his cock had finally reached your most sensitive spot and the friction of his pelvis on your clit was starting to become too much, in the most delicious of ways.

"F—uck," he let out a shaky breath. "If you keep doing that I don't think I'll last for too long".

You bit your lip, feeling almost ashamed as you could hardly speak. "I'm not lasting… much longer…"

Because it was all too much. All the time you have had feelings for him, all the months you hadn't been intimate with anyone, the way he had managed to know just the way you liked it the first time around, the way his cock was rubbing against the one spot that could make you see stars in a matter of seconds.

The way it was him.

Everything was too much, and you were afraid it would be over sooner than you wanted it to.

Hyunjin's eyes softened, and a sweet smile curved up his lips — leaning down to kiss you gently this time. Cupping your face with his hand, he drew tender circles on your chin with his thumb.

"Cum for me, then" he mumbled against your mouth, bringing his hand down to your clit.

"Hyunjin," you gasped when his thumb rubbed on it. "Fuck, I don't—"

"Hm, baby?" he asked, thrusting into you. "You don't, what?"

"I don't wanna cum yet" you choked out.

He chuckled, feeling your body tremble underneath him. "Your body says otherwise…"

"Hyunjin, ple—fuck," you cried, palms pressing against his abdomen when he pounded into you. "Please, it feels too good".

"I know, baby…" he hushed you, not letting go of the pace he had set that was driving you over the edge. "You're driving me crazy over here, too".

Hearing the way his voice had halted, you could tell he was close, too. So, pushing your own needs aside, you began to roll your hips and meet each of his thrusts halfway all over again — no longer caring about coming undone right then and there, as long as you helped him find his own release.

"Y/N—oh, fuck" he moaned, heavy breathing mixing with yours as he let his forehead rest on yours.

"Hyunjin, I'm coming" you whimpered, feeling your back arching and your legs beginning to shake. "Oh, God, I'm—"

He pressed a kiss to your mouth, removing his hand from your clit and pushing your thigh back against your chest so he could slam harder into you — deeper.

"Let go, baby" he whispered, feeling his own orgasm approaching. "Cum for me, hm? Be a good girl to me…"

With one last thrust of his and with those last words being said, you couldn't hold back anymore — toes curling, legs shaking and nails scratching his back, as you hid your face in the crook of his neck and let out a cry.

Hyunjin couldn't hold back a moan at the mere sight of you shaking and coming undone under him. "Holy fuck, you're so perfect" he breathed out, holding onto your waist to keep you in place as he helped you ride through your orgasm.

Letting your head fall back down against the pillow, you looked down to the place where your hips met. Amazed by the way his cock appeared and disappeared inside you, you placed your hands on his lower back to help him reach his climax while you were still going through yours — throwing your head back against the pillow when his cock kept on hitting your most sensitive spot.

Just like he had warned you, your walls clenching around his cock would be what ended up sending him to the edge.

"Y/N, holy—" his words got caught in his throat, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he slammed into you once more.

One last curse abandoned his lips, and suddenly you were feeling his damp chest pressing on yours and his warm release being spread inside you.

-—-—-—-—-—-—-♡

Heavy breathings mixing together, Hyunjin leaned in to steal another kiss from your swollen mouth, not being able to stop a giggle from escaping his own and lovingly bumping his nose on yours, before pressing his lips to yours one more time.

"Fuck, I needed you" he exhaled, kissing you again. "So much".

You chuckled, gently entangling your fingers in his slightly sweaty hair and pulling him into another kiss. "I needed you, too".

Hyunjin's smile turned bigger, brighter, and you once again felt like you were in a dream when he cupped your cheek and tenderly caressed your skin. He looked at you like you were holding the stars in the sky, and for a second there you grew afraid — afraid of having let your walls down, more than you ever had before, to the point your mind was now making up the feelings behind his eyes to compensate for the love you still felt for him.

All your worries were quickly shut down when he pressed a soft kiss to your nose, then another to your forehead, and then one to your cheek, before he let his bodyweight fall on you, burying his face in the valley of your breasts as his arms snuck around your waist and pulled you closer than you'd ever been to him.

"You're heavy" you whined, with the exclusive intention of annoying him.

He didn't even budge. "You can take it for a couple of minutes".

Allowing the corners of your mouth to curve up into a smile, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, feeling his chest move up and down as he sighed contentedly. He had missed you playing with his hair. And you had missed feeling him melt into a puddle under your loving touch.

It was ironical, how that same day you had been beating yourself up over having flirted with him like you used to, even after everything that had gone down between the two of you and how hard you were trying to get over him, yet here you were right now, with your dress doing little to nothing to cover you up as Hyunjin lied on top of you — face buried in your chest as he tenderly caressed your hip under the black fabric of your dress he had previously pulled up to your waist, and your breathings synchronized as the two of you had finally managed to fully come down from your highs.

As ironic as it sounded, though, there was a difference between your flirting earlier that day and the intimacy you had just shared: You didn't know he had feelings for you before.

The main reason why you had beaten yourself up over having slipped up and flirted back with him was because you felt delusional. And how could you not? He knew you had feelings for him all along, you knew they were one sided, and you still had managed to make a fool of yourself by giving him just what he wanted. You had found yourself falling in his game all over again.

Only it was not a game to him. Now you knew.

A voice at the very back of your head told you that you should be ashamed, that you had given in too easily, but you couldn't find it in you to feel anything other than peace right then.

You had missed him. You had needed him, more than you could have ever imagined.

You had tried to get over him, you had really tried. But having him tell you all that, when a part of you still felt so strongly about him, had managed to make it all come back — every single feeling you had managed to push away. Just like that.

And maybe it was the hopeless romantic in you, or simply your love for him, that made you want to believe with everything in you that this time would be different.

You wanted, begged, to believe that this time around your heart wouldn't be shattered into one million pieces.

He had said he only wanted you, that he had feelings for you. Whether said feelings were love or he was just slowly beginning to get there, you wanted to believe they were true.

After all, he had said he would do anything for you to believe him. You were truly counting on that.

"Did you mean it?" you wondered, voice soft as ever.

"I meant everything I said".

You giggled, feeling his heart race up as you shook your head. "No… I'm talking about what you said about having come here just because of me…" you specified. "Was it true? Or were you just trying to make me melt?"

"I made you melt?" he looked up with a smirk, both proudly and teasingly.

"Don't" you whined, earning a giggle from him.

"I was serious, you can ask Changbin hyung if you want".

"What does he have to do with it?"

"I told you, his date was the one who let me in here. I had to beg him to ask her".

"That deep?" you taunted him.

"Laugh all you want," he dared you, going up to press a small kiss to your chin and then hover your lips. "Coming here was the best decision I could've made".

Not fighting the smile that had just curved up your mouth, you met his lips midway into a loving kiss. One that slowly turned into one peck after another, getting a blissful giggle from you as Hyunjin could not find it in him to entirely pull away just yet.

Once he felt like your lips had touched a fair enough amount of times to make him the happiest, he rested his head back on your chest, gently bumping his nose against your neck before he buried his face in the crook of it. Your arms didn't wait to wrap around him, holding him close to you as you found comfort in his naked chest moving up and down against yours with every breath you took.

The little utopia the two of you had built was disrupted the next minute, when a sudden turn of the doorknob had your heads snapping in its direction.

"Fuck" you whispered, trying to get up but having no success at it, thanks to Hyunjin's body on top of you. "Jinnie, get up".

He whined, only burying his face back in your chest. "They can go get another room".

"Hyunjin!" you whisper-shouted this time, hearing the doorknob unsuccessfully twist again.

"What, I'm serious" his embrace around you tightened. "This is my Y/N time, whoever they are they can fuck off".

As if on cue, the turning ceased. And you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the sight of the smile that had just taken over Hyunjin's face.

"Y/N time?" you mockingly questioned.

He nodded, no sign of his smile being erased anytime soon. "I said what I said".

You laughed under your breath, placing your palms against his shoulders so you could push him up and off you — only managing to make him look at you so far. "We have to leave".

He pouted. "So soon?"

You nodded. "We're literally in the middle of a party, anyone could walk in".

"The door is literally locked".

"What if Yurim comes".

He shrugged. "It's gonna be locked anyway. Plus, I heard she doesn't really mind having couples do their thing in here".

You rolled your eyes, both in amusement and disbelief. "You're a liar".

"I'm not!" he reassured you, yet the laugh that had followed his words was not very convincing of him.

"Mhm… if you say so" you teased him.

Leaning in to steal a kiss from him before he could fight back like you knew he would, you took advantage of the way he was too busy deepening the kiss and grabbed the hem of his shirt, swiftly buttoning it up until his chest was covered.

"Let's get dressed" you mumbled against his lips, pressing one last kiss to them.

Hyunjin sighed, definitely not wanting to leave you, nor this moment, anytime soon, yet not even dreaming of pushing your limits any further. Just having you this way right now, having had you as intimately as he had done minutes ago, was more, so much more, than he could ever have asked for.

Adjusting his pants and poorly fixing his shirt, he rushed to help you out. Your hands were already pulling down your dress so it would cover your thighs, so he focused on your chest, fixing your bralette first and then carefully —not to say reluctantly— buttoning your dress up. Lastly, he moved on to help you reach for your panties on the other end of the bed so you could put them on.

Once you were all done, he offered his hand to help you sit up just as he did.

"One of us should leave first…" you mumbled.

He nodded, quietly running his fingers through your hair to fix its messiness. "You can go first. I'll stay here and make the bed look presentable again".

You bit your bottom lip, feeling your face burn as you seemed to only then have been hit with what the two of you had just done. Nevertheless, you nodded, standing up and running your hands down your dress in hopes to make it look just as straightened as it was when you arrived.

"Okay, um… I'll see you around?" you tilted your head rather awkwardly, not really knowing how to say goodbye now.

Letting out a chuckle, Hyunjin stood up as well and walked over to you — confidently pulling you in by your waist, so that your body was once again pressed to his and his mouth could brush over yours. "If you think I'm not texting you first thing tomorrow then you've got a whole other thing coming to you".

As much as his words had made you shy, you couldn't control yourself when it came to pulling him into a kiss by his collar.

Hyunjin kissed you back in a heartbeat, a smile curving up his lips as both hands cupped your face to stop you from pulling away just yet.

"Actually, I'm calling you later tonight to see if you got home safe" he let you know as he caught his breath, going in for another brief kiss. "Or maybe I should take you home instead".

"We're not having a second round" you warned him.

Hyunjin laughed under his breath. "No, it's not…" he shook his head, opening his eyes to meet your awaiting ones. "I meant your home, as in, dropping you off at your dorm. Although I wouldn't mind taking you back to mine with me".

You amusedly rolled your eyes, doing a pretty poor job at hiding just how hard your face was burning up at his words. "You're not taking me to either" you remarked, having him sticking his bottom lip out in a pout. "I need to go look for Nana, we came here together, so…"

He nodded every so softly — not being able to hide the drop in his mood. "Can I ask you to, like… do... or not do something for me?"

"What is it?" you wondered.

"Don't go back home with him? Or with anyone else for that matter?"

"You mean, going home as in…"

"As in the way you accused me of wanting to take you home" he smiled softly.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for another round with anyone else either after what happened between us" you joked.

"Shut up," he half whined, half laughed, resting his forehead on yours. "You know what I mean".

You smiled, leaning in to kiss his pout away. "I won't".

"Good" he smiled, too, stealing another kiss from you.

"But, Jinnie, you know…" you sighed, trying to look for the right words. "You know this doesn't mean everything is magically, one hundred percent okay between us… don't you? I mean, we did just—but, we're not…"

He nodded, with that simple act of his letting you know he understood. "I know. I have to show you I mean everything I said…" his hands softly traced their way down your arms, until they reached your hands. "But it's a start, right?"

You smiled, looking down at your hands as your fingers interlocked with his. "Mhm… I guess it is".

"I'll be better, I promise" his thumbs drew tender circles on your skin. "I'm done being scared of commitment".

"I'm not trying to push you, though…" you mumbled. "I mean, I wasn't trying… if you're still having doubts—"

"I'm not".

"Don't feel like you need to stay, because if you end up changing your mind later on—"

He shut you up with a lingering kiss. "There's no changing my mind this time".

"I get that it can be pretty scary…"

"Not when it comes to you anymore".

Speechless, you stared into his genuine, determined eyes for a moment, while you tried to take every word of his in. Once you did, you showed him you appreciated his efforts by gently pressing your mouth to his for what could easily be the hundredth time that night.

"Please don't change your mind tomorrow…" you pleaded, failing at trying to hide just how heartbreaking that mere thought was to you.

"I'd be damned to" he whispered, sweetly yet reassuringly squeezing your hands. "I'm actually scared you'll change your mind tomorrow".

"I won't" you reassured him in a heartbeat.

"I won't either," he repeated. "So I guess you're stuck with me now".

"I'm not opposed to that…" you shyly chuckled, having his lips back on yours in a second.

Feeling his hands abandon yours to be placed on your waist instead, knowing all too well that was his way to deepen the kiss, you found yourself resting your palms on his chest to try and push him away before things began to escalate all over again.

"I should really leave now…" you announced, clumsily walking backwards towards the door as he followed without letting go.

"Just one more" he mumbled against your lips, sucking on your bottom one and bringing his other hand to your nape, to prevent you from pulling away just yet.

"Hyunjin…" you warned him with a smile.

"Okay, okay" he stole one last kiss. "I'm done".

"God, who would've thought you'd be so clingy" you pointed out in feigned annoyance, earning a proud smirk from him.

"Oh, you've seen nothing yet, baby".

Rolling your eyes at him, you reached for the doorknob, unlocking it before you finally were able to make your way out of the bedroom — not without first having warned him about not even daring to come out of there right after you did.

Although he would've loved to do just that and have everyone at the party know the two of you were together, he followed your wishes, only walking up to the door once you were out of there so he could lock it back. So that no one would accidentally find out he had, too, been in there all along.

Turning around and walking towards the bed, he was met with the mess you had made on it together, and he couldn't help the smile that parted his lips as the memories flooded his mind.

He knew sex was great, that was pretty much the main reason he liked being single so much — being able to sleep around with whoever he wanted, whenever he wanted. But fuck, no one had ever told him just how much, much better it felt when it was with the one person you had feelings for.

It had never felt as good as it did with you.

It had never made him want to stay before. Stay all night if possible, like he had wished to stay with you — hugging you, kissing you, cuddling you, caressing you.

And that could only reassure him of his feelings for you. If anything, he was now realising they seemed to be way stronger than he had thought.

Covering his eyes, he slumped down on his back as a small giggle escaped his mouth. He was aware that he looked like a mad man right then, but the ghost of your lips on his and your hot skin against his was more than enough for him not to care about it and, instead, allow himself to get lost in the fresh memories of you.

He was the happiest he had ever been, and he would do everything in his power to keep it that way. To show you he had meant every single word that had come out of his mouth that night.

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#skz #stray kids #hwang hyunjin #skz imagines #stray kids imagines #hyunjin imagines #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #hyunjin scenarios #skz fake texts #stray kids fake texts #hyunjin fake texts

[rhysdarbinizedarby]

‘Our Flag Means Death’ Star Rhys Darby on Stede’s Transformations & Hopes for Season 3

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Our Flag Means Death Season 2 Episode 8 “Mermen.”]

Our Flag Means Death saw Gentleman pirate Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) transform from a fish-out-of-water swashbuckler into the romantic hero he was always destined to be in the latest season of Max‘s original comedy.

After realizing the error of his ways at the end of Season 1, Stede sought redemption in the eyes of the infamous Blackbeard, a.k.a. Ed (Taika Waititi), after recognizing he was in love with the pirate. While the path wasn’t a direct one, they eventually found their way back to one another with the help of a fantastical mermaid sequence, some much-needed apologies, and ultimately a better string of communication.

Reflecting on his journey, star Rhys Darby is opening up about Stede’s various transformations in Season 2, including the excitement surrounding that mermaid tail, as well as about where he thinks the pirate lovebirds might end up next should the series return for Season 3.

Congrats on Season 2! Now that we can finally talk about it, what has it been like getting to see fan reactions, especially during the SAG-AFTRA strike?

Rhys Darby: Yeah, it was like a pressure cooker that needed to burst, for us and for the fans. When it finally came out, the burst happened and there was so much love for us, [but we] couldn’t talk about it. We were still stuck in this bottle and the cork wouldn’t come off, and that was difficult, but it was really lovely to see all the love and the surprise from everyone. Obviously, as you know, the fan artwork, it’s what we would say in New Zealand is pretty full on. So yeah, it was super cool.

And not that anyone gives out numbers, but I think I heard on the ethos that people [are] watching it, and it’s rating really high and at a time when we need this kind of beautiful love fest of comedy with a whole bunch of silliness to take us away from the disasters that are happening in the world. It’s been lovely. I just wish it was longer. I know people watch and rewatch and they’re so fanatical, but it’s just a comedy show, so to have any effect means so much to us.

In Season 2, Stede’s gone through a few transformations, one of which is that he’s a real pirate now, at least comparatively to Season 1. What helped you get into that new version of him? Was it the writing, costumes, or a combination of the two?

Yeah, the costumes are the first thing that comes to mind because once he starts wearing different gear, he looks at himself and goes, “Oh my God, I’m a different man.” And he really is turning from a man who is wearing these beautiful gowns with high heels and things inappropriate for a pirate ship to becoming an Errol Flynn-type hero straight away. That’s what they wanted to do with the character. So he’s lost a lot of that beautiful pageantry and is becoming a more practical guy who has to survive. He returns to this nightmare of a world because he wants to fight for love, and for want of a better term, “man up,” whatever the modern-day version of that is, “person up?” To become the guy that he dreamt of being in the first season.

He didn’t dream that he was going to fall in love with someone. He dreamt he was going to be this amazing pirate and that just was not going to happen. But then when he found this love, I think he went away from that [dream] going, “I don’t deserve this.” And then when he realized upon returning home that he does deserve it, he had to fight for it. And so the only way to fight for it was to drop the battle armor of the gowns and actually become the pirate he imagined being. So it was great to become that and to fight for that love and to thank god that [Blackbeard] didn’t die. He would’ve actually lost it, I think, because it would’ve been like, “Well, what am I fighting for now?”

I think it was just so fun to see that character change, but also within that change, see a bit of the old self come through, especially when he found that cursed red suit. And all of a sudden it was like, “Oh my God, the old me again, look how good I look!” So it was lovely that they had those elements… I was missing a little bit of the old Stede myself. So it was great to find that again. And then again near the end with the British invasion scenario where I got to do the big coat and everything, which of course looked awesome. You can see that moment where I put it on and did that slow turnaround. It was way more filmic shots of me wearing that kind of stuff. And I think that gave Stede's strength as well. So much of Stede's embodiment comes from the things he’s wearing.

Speaking of costumes, the big one of the season had to be Stede’s mermaid look. How did you wrap your head around getting ready for such a fantastical, and ultimately, beautiful scene?

That was the highlight of the whole season for me. As a kid, I used to swim around like a little merkid. I would put my legs together and I’d swim under the water. I’ve always been into mermaids and things because I’m into cryptozoology. So when I got to be a mermaid or a merman, I really took to it. It was pretty easy, to be honest with you. I didn’t have any training to swim like that. So the only training I did was some breath work beforehand to help me hold my breath longer. But that was kind of almost superfluous. Once I got that [tail] on, I just became a mermaid. It’s hard for me to describe how I suddenly become these things, but I think I just got under the water. I could swim really easily with it.

And I had weights on. So one of the things was we had to make sure I was the right weight so that I wouldn’t just float. That thing was sort of buoyant. So once we sorted that out, I could actually swim really well, and then just sort of hover underneath the water for a long time while [Taika]’s looking at me, I’m looking at him. To see it on the day, on the screen when I knew they’d got [the shot], there were just so many cheers, and I think they even played the music to see how the scene would work out. It’s one of those life moments where you go, “Oh my God, I’m becoming a cryptid again. I’m never going to forget this.”

This season really does focus even more on Stede and Blackbeard’s romance. How did you and Taika prepare for that? Especially since Stede’s more transparent about his feelings this time around.

It was good, and it was time. And because I was the new strong Stede, it felt really natural for me. I think it just worked really well with the writing because of the aggression that I was going through. When I was fighting that really bad guy [Ned Low (Bronson Pinchot) and] threw a violin at him because he ruined Calypso’s birthday, that was a good moment because it is not just about Ed, it’s about the crew, Stede’s family, and they were going through this amazing moment there, and all of a sudden this guy turns up and next thing we’re getting tortured. And I’m like, “How dare you?”

I think that progression of strength helped [Stede] break into the moment of, “I’m just going to take my lover as well now, and do something with him.” He probably had no idea what he was doing because it’s Stede, but it worked out and it was the right time in the show. Taika and I are really good mates, so it’s really easy to do emotional scenes together. As soon as we put our gear on, we’re just looking at that character, and we admire each other.

You and Taika have been known to improv on the show. Was there any improv moment from Season 2 you were particularly proud to see onscreen?

Yeah. Well, one, I noticed that some people are talking about that they thought was scripted, which wasn’t — most of the [scenes where] I’m with Taika are improvised in those emotional close moments — is on the deck of the boat where we’d do the thumb thing. That was all improvised on the day. So that was fun that we got that kind of stuff in. And there were some more little bits and pieces, but that’s one that comes to mind. That worked really well.

By the end of Season 2, Stede and Blackbeard have settled in to open their own inn. Do you think the peace and quiet will last in a possible third season, or will they get bored and want to rejoin the excitement?

Well, obviously as it stands now, it’s very lovely and it’s a nice positive ending, which is lovely for Season 2. But in reality, if you think about the characters, even in the fictional world, they’re both outlaws, they’re pirates, and the British back then… they never gave up. They did track down all the pirates and either hang them or get rid of them. There was only a couple that got away, and it certainly wasn’t those two. So I think what they’re thinking is, yes, this is bliss, but both those characters must be thinking, this is not going to last because you’ve got to sleep with one eye open.

Even though they’re in the middle of nowhere, they’re still in an area where everyone knows what they are, so they’re going to be tracked down. So I think if it was me, [they’d] end up back in action one way or another, especially if their inn is popular, which it probably would be. Word would get around. I mean, in those days, had you heard the Blackbeard and Stede had opened up an inn, [you’d have] to check that one out. It’ll be like Planet Hollywood.

There would be a wait-list, for sure.

Yeah, absolutely. Basically, they’re too famous now that Stede’s killed Ned and everything. He’s a famous pirate. So death is going to come to their door at some point. They’ll have to deal with it.

Do you think this version of Stede and Blackbeard’s story could avoid the fate of the real-life pirates?

Yeah, no, I think you’re dreaming if you think they’re going to live happily ever after.

Our Flag Means Death, Seasons 1-2, Streaming now, Max

Source: TV Insider

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #behind the scenes #rhys darby #taika waititi #interview #tv insider

[intoanotherworld23]

Fighting Fire With Fire

Pairing: Female reader x Javier Pena x Steve Murphy

Warnings: NSFW 18+ ONLY DNI, holy moly this whole thing needs to have a bible thrown at it major smut and sex, use of handcuffs, bondage, oral male and female receiving, p in v, unprotected sex, p in a, threesome, mild spanking, swear words, overstimulation

Summary: Wanting to give them a taste of their own medicine you have the bright idea to ignore Javier and Steve all day, but it ends with you getting punished

Check out my other works on my Hall Of Hunks

As soon as you saw the black Audi pull up the driveway your stomach dropped. You knew you were in serious trouble, but also for a world of absolute pleasure. Utter excitement coursing through your body at what they were going to do with you.

You had been ignoring Javier and Steve all day, and it was all on purpose. It was hard to do, but you stayed motivated in your plan.

They had been ignorning you all week, and you just wanted to give them a taste of their own medicine. Granted it was work things, but still you felt they still should make time for you.

Granted it wasn't their fault cause they were busy with interviews for their movie, but you still wanted to feel wanted. Ignoring their texts and calls. They clearly didn't appreciate it based on the tone of the messages.

Javier: sweetheart you know we don't like being ignored.

Steve: darling answer your phone. You know we are very busy

Steve: don't make us come home Javier is getting very worried

Steve: this is your last warning sweetheart.

Their words had you feeling all giddy inside knowing you were getting to them. You were fighting fire with fire, but weren't prepared for how big the flames were about to get. You were just desperate to feel their touches.

They were very protective of you so when you decided to not respond it worried them. Taking your safety seriously, so they grabbed their things, and started heading to you no questions asked.

People still didn't understand your relationship with the two movie stars. Everywhere you three went people looked at you, and clear judgement on their faces. Doing your best to ignore them, and remembering that both men loved you.

The door being barged open and seeing Javier’s and Steve’s stern yet lustful gazes had you feeling nervous. A part of you was starting to rethink why you acted the way you did. Javier was the first one to step forward.

"You've been very naughty sweetheart." Javier growled as he crossed his arms across his chest.

Steve stood behind him as his eyes raked up and down your body. His once light eyes now darkened with lust. You were wearing just a shirt barely covering your butt and some lace panties.

"Ignoring us like that isn't very nice. You know what has to happen now." Steve spoke up as he walked forward as well even closer then Javier.

"I'm sorry." You whispered and they just both smirked at you.

Steve was the sympathetic and caring when it came to punishment. Not wanting to push you past your limit. Constantly watching your body language to make sure he wasn’t hurting you.

Whereas Javier was more dominant and loved to punish you and hear you beg. If you didn’t end up shaking with pleasure with tears coming down your cheeks then he wasn’t done.

They were different but they even each other out so they didn't break you completely. Plus the aftercare made it all worth it.

"You're gonna be sorry baby." Both men had these dark looks in their eyes, and it almost scared you. You were definitely turned on more though.

You felt like a helpless animal being cornered by two ravenous beasts. Looking at both of them waiting for them to make their move. Steve and Javier looked to each other before they moved.

Next thing you know Javier and Steve are on you. Javier grabbing your hands and pinning them above your head. Steve went into the drawer, and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. Before you could even protest he had them clasped around your wrists.

Tugging on the cuffs thinking for some reason you could slip out of them. They just chuckled at your weak attempt of getting yourself out of this. Your panties were soaked at this point and it wouldn't take long for them to figure it out.

"What should we do with her first?" Javier looked over at Steve and they just looked at your figure lying there awaiting your punishment.

"I think we need to get a taste of that pussy first." His words had your thighs clenching together.

They knew you loved being eaten out, but this wasn't going to be for your pleasure. It was all for them, and they weren't going to give you what you wanted.

Both men grabbed an ankle and peppered your thighs with sloppy kisses. Looking down watching as their mouth inched closer to your drenched panties. Your breathing had increased as they reached the hem of your panties.

Their lingering kisses had your legs trembling with need. Each leg was being showered with sensual kisses and touches having you mewl like a cat in heat. You probably looked so desperate, but right now you didn't care.

"These need to go." Javier grabbed the sides and pulled them down your legs tossing them to the side.

"She's already soaked." Steve noted looking between your legs your arousal already leaking out of your folds.

The cold breeze hitting your pussy making you whimper. They both went back to kissing around your core, but not kissing where you wanted them to. It was frustrating you but you didn’t want to push it, and then not give you what you want.

They wanted to hear you beg for it. It was all a game to them, and you had to play along with them. You finally snapped when their lips touched just right beside your folds.

"God please. Please Javi. Please Stevie eat my pussy please I'm begging you." You howled tossing your head to the side feeling your cheeks heating up already.

"Did you hear that Javi? Did that sound like begging to you?" Steve’s tone was mocking and Javier just chuckled as they looked up at your writhing body.

"Nope I think our baby girl can do better than that." Javier smirked when he heard your little whimpers.

Between their kisses and sensual touches up and down your legs you felt yourself going crazy. Tugging against the cuffs the cold metal pressing harshly against your skin.

"Fuck please I want both of your tongues on my pussy I want it so badly please. Fuck me with your tongues." You whined bucking your hips upwards hoping they got the hint and would show some mercy.

Without another word Steve pulled your pussy lips apart getting easier access. Licking his lips ready to just devour you whole. Your clit was throbbing being so exposed.

Javier was thrusting his tongue inside you while Steve gave your clit kitten licks. Your mouth hung up as you watched them eat your pussy like starved men. It was the hottest thing you could ever witness, and it was almost hard to believe it was happening to you.

"Oh fuck that feels so good." Biting your lower lip between your teeth and throwing your head back against the pillow.

Javier could feel your walls clenching around his tongue, and decided to add a finger. Steve taking the hint as he sucked your little bundle of nerves hard making you scream out. Your whimpers and moans getting louder.

"Tastes so sweet." Javier mumbled against your folds the vibrations making your back arch off the bed.

Both of their mouths felt so warm against your pussy, your body was melting into the mattress. You didn't know who you wanted more.

Javier was slurping your pussy his hand coming down across your stomach to keep you down. Licking up and down your folds, his beard scratching along your skin. Being so lost in your own pleasure you couldn't tell whose tongue was whose.

"Keep going." You said as your ground your hips against their greedy mouths.

Feeling yourself getting closer to the edge. Pulling against the cuffs desperate to touch them and grip onto their heads.

Just as you felt your orgasm about to hit you it was taken away just as fast. Opening your eyes in confusion you saw them get off the bed. You were so frustrated your pussy was actually starting to ache really badly.

"Bad girls don't get to cum so easily." Javier’s stern tone told you he really wasn't happy with you.

Both men shred their clothing right before your eyes. Their hard cocks slapping against their stomach, and your mouth watered at the sight.

Hands slowly stroking themselves as their eyes looked hungrily in between your legs. Your pussy glistening in the light making them lick their lips.

Wanting nothing more than to wrap your fingers around them. They knew exactly what they were doing, and definitely wanted you to suffer.

"Mouth or cunt?" Scrunching your eyebrows in confusion until you realized that Javier was talking to Steve.

"I want that smart ass little mouth of hers." He walked over to the side of the bed where your head was you were watching his every move.

Javier got on his knees on the bed and gripped your ankles placing your legs in the air. Without any warning he plunged himself deep inside you making you gasp. Steve took that as an opportunity to push his cock inside your mouth.

"Fucking hell always so tight for our cocks." Javier groaned as he wasted no time thrusting in and out of you.

"Such a good girl for us. Always taking us so well." Steve moaned as he pet your head watching your lips moving up and down his shaft.

"This is in the way." Javier gripped your shirt before ripping it straight down the middle. Exposing your breasts to their hungry gazes.

Your breasts bouncing with every thrust. Javier and Steve didn't waste another second before they each grabbed a breast. Pinching your nipples until they were hard buds under their fingertips.

Your skin slapping against Javier’s pelvis echoing around the room, had your entire body on fire. You just wanted nothing more than to feel and touch their skin.

"Such a cock hungry little whore for us. Always so eager for us." Javier’s words had a shiver running up your spine.

Javier and his filthy words could have you wet within seconds. Javier loved dirty talk and he knew you loved it even more. He found it amusing how such simple words or phrases could have you soaked, and begging him for more.

Moving your tongue up and down Steve’s cock bobbing your head up and down. He was lightly thrusting his hips into your mouth so you could take more of him. Gagging around him a little bit of saliva running down your chin.

You didn't know whose cock you wanted to focus on more. The pounding from Javier had your legs shaking, and your back sweating. You wondered if they were going to let you cum this time or continue their torture.

Your pussy squeezing Javier’s cock as you tried adjusting around him. His grip tightening on your ankles as he kept your legs spread for him. Hitting a deeper angle inside of you. Your moans vibrating on Sebastian making him groan.

"Fuck do that again." Javier then snapped his hips sharply making you squeal around Steve’s cock causing him to growl his cock twitching in your mouth.

They were using you like their own little plaything, and you absolutely loved it. Only they could do this to you, and you had no complaints what so ever.

Javier was thrusting into you roughly making your whole body move the bed rocking back and forth. Which was good for Steve cause it was moving your head making your mouth take more of his cock.

The harder Javier fucked you the more you moaned around Steve. You so badly want to turn your head away so you could watch Javier sliding in and out of you. You always liked to watch as the entered you it turned you on tremendously.

Your pussy was completely soaked making it so much easier for Javier to slam in and out of you. Your juices coating Javier’s cock making him groan at how wet you were the sounds echoing across the room.

"I'm gonna cum." Looking up you saw Sebastian with his head thrown back and eyes closed in pure ecstasy.

You sucked him even harder egging him closer to release wanting to swallow every drop of him. Basking in the triumph that you could make either of them feel this way.

"Make him cum like the good girl you are. Make him cum down your throat and I want you to swallow all of him." Javier commanded you as his thrusts were becoming sloppier and slower.

Taking Steve all the way down your throat you felt him twitching in your mouth followed by his warm cum filling your mouth. Doing what you were told your swallowed all of his release while still slowly licking his cock up and down.

"Such a good fucking girl to us."

“You look so fucking good like this cariño.”

He looked down at you lovingly stroking the cheek while Javier continued to fuck you feeling his own release hitting him. Your pussy squeezing him like a vice, and your orgasm once again coming as well.

Javier let your legs fall beside him as his hand gripped your breasts as he squirted his seed inside of you. Both men groaning above you their foreheads covered in sweat.

Once again your release was ripped from you, and it was really starting to hurt you this time. Being so close, and they were denying you of your orgasm as punishment. Judging by their faces they weren’t done with you yet.

"Please I'm sorry I won't ignore you guys again please I just want to cum so badly." You cried out hoping they would finally give in and end this punishment.

Laying their wiggiling your hips in frustration not having been able to cum. Whining loudly your pussy clenching around air both them having been satisfied but not you.

Your noises getting both their attention. Javier leaning over you uncuffing one hand making you think this torture was over. The ache between your legs even more so than it was before.

"Turn her ass over." Javier turned towards Steve who grinned and was more than happy to flip you on your stomach.

Your pussy was so raw right now you didn't know if you were going to be able to take one of their cocks anymore. You were begging for sweet release, but you were so sensitive already.

The hand that was under your body was then moved back to the headboard to only be cuffed again. Groaning in frustration wiggiling your hips making both men growl at your movements. A hand coming down on your ass hard making you squeal.

"Ass or cunt?" This time Steve asked Javier although you knew what he was going to choose

Your pussy clenching around nothing again but just at the thought of them both being inside you. No matter how many times you took them both it was such a thrilling experience, and mind blowing.

"I want that sweet ass of hers." Javier swatted your ass hard a gasp leaving your lips as you felt the sting.

You felt hands lift your hips up so your ass was in the air. Steve maneuvered his way under you aligning his cock right under your once again soaked entrance. Your wrist that was still cuffed was feeling sore.

Slowly pushing himself inside of you making your mouth hang open as you fully lowered yourself down on him. Steve was not as thick as Javier, but he was longer.

"God this pussy is like heaven. Such a tight little cunt." He groaned as he gripped your hips and started thrusting up into you. Your breasts dangling in his face.

Looking into his eyes as he was moving faster, and slamming into your harder. It felt so intimate and passionate. The way his hands moved up and down your back almost in a soothing way. Moving your hips slamming your pussy down on him so you could feel him even deeper.

Just when you were getting comfortable with Steve you fel the bed dip behind you. Javier grabbed your ass cheeks making sure to spread you wide for him. Opening you up for him even more stretching you as wide as you could handle.

Hearing Javier open a bottle squirting the cold liquid onto your asshole, and feeling him spread some on your ass.

"Shhh sweetheart we're gonna take good care of you." Steve whispered soothingly into your ear.

Both men could feel your muscles tensing under their touches. The difficult was about to happen, and they wanted to make sure you were as comfortable as possible.

“That’s it cariño just relax.” Pumping his cock as his other hand rubbed your puckered asshole in a soothing manner.

Your nerves were all over the place as he placed the tip of his cock at your backside. Steve could senses how nervous you were, and lifted his head up so his mouth could latch onto a nipple. Moaning even louder your eyes rolling into the back of your head.

Pushing his cock inch by inch until he was all the way inside of your ass. Javier was squeezing your ass he let you adjust around him. Closing his eyes to concentrate on not cumming already.

Breathing harshly in and out of your nose as you being were filled to the brim. Your mouth biting down on your outstretched arm almost breaking skin with how intense this feeling was.

"Her ass is almost just as tight as her pussy." Javier groaned as he was slowly pushing in and out of you.

"Such a good girl taking our cocks so well. She was made for us." Steve moaned beneath you his lips moved to your neck sucking on the skin surely leaving a mark.

When Javier was pushing in Steve was pulling out, and vice versa. You were completely stuffed and you were loving it. No words were able to leave your mouth only noises. Javier continued to spit absolute filth to you. Your pussy would clench around Steve making him groan.

Once Javier felt you were okay both men nodded to each other before picking up their thrusts. Javier snapping his pelvis against you, while Steve was thrusting up into you. Lifting your body up and down to meet their powerful cocks.

"Holy fuck oh my god. Your cocks feel so good." You cried out loving the feeling of having them both inside of you.

"You just love our cocks don't you sweetheart." Javier spoke with gritted teeth as he looked down watching as your asshole swallowed his cock.

Both men groaning and grunting as they were fucking your body into oblivion. Your hands gripped the rails as you felt the cuff really digging into your skin, but you didn't care. Pushing past the pain, and feeling only the pleasure.

Your entire body was spent and you didn't know how much more you could take. Just letting them do whatever they needed to do hoping you’d get to feel that orgasm.

"I bet she won't ignore us again huh?" Steve joked making Javier grin behind you to look at the other smirking boy before he turned his attention back to your ass.

"Say it." Javier said smacking your ass sharply the sting more intense.

They weren't letting up with their movements making it almost impossible for you to talk right now, but they wanted your words.

"Say it." Javier spoke louder his hand coming down on your ass even harder.

"I won't ignore you guys again. Please I'm sorry please keep going." You begged and whined not even caring how pathetic you looked.

You were being filled wholly and completely, and you could feel Steve all the way up in your stomach. Not being able to understand how you were always able to take them so deeply. Never getting used to the feeling of them both inside you at the same time.

Feeling the pit of you stomach burning you knew you were getting closer. Your whole body was on fire, and your legs were tingling. Just praying and hoping they would let you cum this time. There was no way you would be able to take another round of not getting release.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum in that tight little cunt of yours." His thrusts were getting rougher along with Javier.

Your entire body being sandwiched between the two ravenous men. All three of you covered in sweat rubbing against each other. Their body hair scratching against your skin pricking you.

"Shit me too. Gonna cum in your ass sweetheart. Fill you up." Javier snarled as he smacked your ass a couple of times making both your holes squeeze around them.

Your toes were curling and you closed your eyes as you finally felt your climax hitting you hard. Crying out into Steve’s chest as your juices coated his cock. Breathing heavily as your entire body was trembling, and your arms shaking.

Hearing your whimpers and feeling your body slump forward, Javier was the first to cum along with Steve. Feeling their release fill you up had you clenching around them again.

Javier slowly pulled out of your raw asshole making you hiss. Steve was next and you knew you were going to be so sore the next day. It was absolutely amazing, and you would gladly do that all over again.

"God fucking damn. Holy fuck that was amazing sweetheart." You didn't know who spoke but all you knew was that you were tired.

Quickly uncuffing you your arm fell limp as they laid your body down softly. Your wrist was so sore and throbbing, but your mind was so drowsy you really didn’t mind it all that much.

Both of them getting into bed, and you had one of them on either side of you. Snuggling into your body wanting to make you were looked after. They were both a little worried they may have pushed you a little too much.

“You okay cariño?” Javier was the first one to speak.

Unable to find your words your mouth was so dry you couldn’t say anything. All you could do was just slowly nod your head up and down in response.

Their hands rubbing your body sensually and adoringly. They both peppered your sweaty and warm skin with light kisses. They were being so gentle with you it made you smile. This was the part that you loved the most out of everything how tender they could be with you.

"Our girl did so good for us."

"Sweetheart we weren't too rough with you were we?" Once again nodding your head to them.

"Good. Now get some rest sweetheart, we aren't done with you yet." You felt both men grinning at you before your eyes snapped wide open.

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