#anyways id just about die

[veronicathegoddess]

aww what's that baby? you want more? you want me to give you more than just the tip? aw you're such a desperate little thing aren't you? begging me to push it all in. you look so cute like this, desperate and needy to be fucked properly. isn't that right? yeah it is. you just want me to push it in and fuck that little head silly. stretch you out until you can't think about anything except how full you are. how deep i am inside you that your useless little brain is falling out. yeah i know you want it that bad baby but you're gonna have to beg much prettier than that for it. gotta show me you really want it, now go on and beg for me darling

#this made me blush #i wrote it and it made me blush #wtf #anyways id just about die #if someone told me this #like its so hot #id melt and just evaporate #mine #gender neutral

[itsdefinitely]

um mmm umm umm c can you maybe possibly perhaps draw grace/steph/ruth . like as a ship ,,. ..

"ruth has two hands for a reason!" -ruth, probably

#id in alt text #grace chasity #stephanie lauter #ruth fleming #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetfield #today i learned that grace's last name is chasity and not chastity and all the references to chastity are technically puns #i genuinely thought her name was chastity #and just accepted that #anyway. i realize now that this is the second time i've been asked to draw a ship and i just drew them holding hands #forgive me i swear i can draw them in other ways #but boy jerry and girl jeri are getting to me. hand holding is as far as they get before they start to be SINFUL #sorry for making that about the jeri/rys but you know. #actually im NOT sorry this is a jeri/ry post now

[puppyeared]

its so hard to watch time pass when things like careers and assignments exist. what do you mean im supposed to take that seriously

#I have an assignment that was due a week ago and I really really dont want to do it. I have to but i dont want to #im probably making it worse because my brain has built a wall around it so now i can’t do literally anything else until thats done. but #because I don’t want to do it I’m just kinda stuck. turns out this is what they meant when they said emotional regulation is part of #exec dysfunction.. I’ll have a thought like if I get a little bit of it done now i can get it over with. I can just submit something #and then not even 5 minutes later itll be like ugh but I have to draw all the assets out. I have to write things and make spreads ugh #and its just flopping between those two things. i hate it when ppl are like well how much time do you need to work on one thing #because BOY id love to know too. I’d love to know exactly when my brain wants to cooperate with me and work around that but I cant #even my period can’t decide when it wants to punch me in the stomach. which is kinda funny in the grand scheme of things but still #its so weird im just lying on my bed thinking abt all this like damn.. the time will pass anyways no matter what I decide to do.. damn…. #if I submit that assignment now and take the L I literally won’t die. it’ll just be a deduction on an assignment nobody will ask me about #I know this but I’m still stressing myself about it so my thoughts aren’t really connecting to my body. weird #maybe its because Im having a hard time looking forward to things. theres definitely a lot I should be living for but I don’t really feel #a strong attachment to it I guess? it’s been like this for a while with holidays and meeting with friends so I just don’t #I kinda figured its because im pretty passionless and its more like passing interest. but it’s not very fun when it feels like I’m going to #be living distraction to distraction for the next 70 years or so lol #idk it kind of feels like slowly bleeding out. which is funny because I actually did experience blood loss this week #had a 30 minute nosebleed and literally could not stand. also it felt like someone was pinching the back of my brain which was interesting #yapping #does this count as vent #vent #Ive just been making an oc carrd and contemplate changing my blog header for the past 3 days honestly

[bonefall]

I just wanna say that I LOVE all the detail you’re giving side/background characters. My favorite part of wc is getting to read about generations passing by, watching the young scrappy main character turn into the next main character’s funny grandparent or something. Canon is really bad about acknowledging this but god, you’ve done such a good job with BB. Reading about Jaypaw and Owlpaw’s rivalry knowing the life Owlpaw is going to go on to live in the background later is so cool. Imagine an alternate universe where BB was the real warrior cats and 14 year old you reads a scene where some background character is casually mentioned and realizing it’s that guy Jaypaw beat the shit out of. Shit like that doesn’t happen in canon, they would forget who Owlpaw is and he would never do anything else in his life.

The one thing that WC has over any other xenofiction brand, and most other book series period, is the fact that you are able to watch several GENERATIONS of characters pass by in basically in real-time. So it's a shame that they kinda neglect it in the main series!

I LOVE when WC does do neat things with its cast, like how Harepaw gets trounced by Brambleclaw in Po3 and becomes Leader later. Or how Firestar's recurring background buddy, Onewhisker, became a major character in TNP and beyond. It's honestly a major reason I still follow the books, and why I've never found something that quite scratches the itch like WC does.

Unfortunately, it's ridiculously rare outside of WindClan LMAO. Owlpaw DID get forgotten. He was one of Jaypaw's bullies in his canon training, but then the writers lost track of his age and made him an apprentice on a patrol Tigerheart was giving a lesson to in a field guide; problem is, Tigerheart is younger than him!

Which is not too big a deal, dgmw, but my point is that they forgot. ShadowClan in particular is really lacking in-canon, especially considering they're the neighbor of ProtagonistClan. Ivytail and Owlclaw were part of the Po3 apprentice generation and should have been at least a little relevant going foward, y'know?

I desperately crave the Clans feeling like communities. With petty drama, watching characters gain skill and shuffle around the ranks, every family struggling with how they define their legacy under the emblem of the Clan, that sort of stuff. So that's how I approach it.

#It's actually something I really wish Ratha did #Because like... the structure is perfect for it. #And it's almost told that way with every book essentially introducing a new 'invention' or beast to tame #But unfortunately we're ''stuck'' with Ratha and her loser ass boyfriend. #(Ill die salty they didn't just let the nimravids be an aromantic species) #If i had a nickel for every time a xenofiction series about the stone age invented monogamy like a technological advancement... #id have 2 nickels. #which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice #also to be clear i love ratha still. Both the series and ratha herself this is not ratha hate tags #Bone babble #Anyway thank u

[pcktknife]

i am always filled with so much dread

#kae.txt #when i was 13 i used to lie awake in bed thinking about climate change and disastrous weather phenoma and i would just lie there in silence #and fear and uncertainty and any night it was hotter than like a cool 65-70F id just get even worse cause it felt like everything would be #immediate and there was nothing i could do about it and i was suicidal then too but i didnt wanna die in whatever climate based death #id conjur up in my mind and then thatd make me wanna die even more bc the only way to avoid a tragedy like that in my mind was to not be #there for the tragedy when it happened #anyways im full of dread #a different thing im not worried about the weather right now i havent been scared like that in a while #it feels silly to share but i want it off my chest and out of my head and its too late to talk to anyone

[ickyguts]

Screwy feels a lot, Dumuzi feels very little, they fall in love <3

Dumuzi and Ugly Nergal belong to @herebecritters

#SURPRISE IM POSTING SCREWMUZI #i love these two so much #shipping on main whupsies #finally ive posted screwy so that means i can post all the art ive been hoarding #she means a lot to me #id die for her #dumuzi has felt nothing for so long but when screwy came around #her world got 🤏 a little bit brighter #dumuzi likes it when she tells stories about her day #screwy earnestly believes that she got to pet a unicorn today #it was nutty skewered on a small tree but screwy doesnt need to know that #dumuzi welcomes her escapism. reality is horrifying. #anyway enough ranting in the tags i just live em both so much #happy tree friends #htf #my art #whiteboard #htf screwy #htf dumuzi #ship art #screwmuzi #htf nergal

[eatsteas]

am i plain gone, or is it just the world?

#marble hornets #mh #jay merrick #mh jay #ok i think about entry 82 a lot #and how jay finally admits out loud that he is not okay #and how the only person who could've helped him was out of reach #and how that doesn't even matter bc every attempt to get better would've been sabotaged by the operator anyway #and i wish tim had gotten that voicemail but also. jay had to die. it just made sense. #jay my friend jay i love him sm even if hes kinda dumb sometimes and was doomed by the narrative #sorry for rambling in the tags of my art post but it's my post and i get to ramble #anyway uhhh messy shading and background. deal with it ^_^ #id in alt text #ale art

[aphsillyos]

his default recall is so cool..........

#not me arts tag #ive never used his default skin so i didnt even know what it looked like until now....ough #i wish u could mix and match sounds or recalls with skins................ #i honestly forget half the time hes supposed to be like. Cool and Suave and a Competent Badass #because my brain is always like. god hes so small and floppy and will die if you breathe on him wrong #also hes always crying and breathing heavily in my ear so im just like. poor guy #he should be at the bed taking a nap not fighting....... who made him fight.... stop that he doesnt belong on the battle field #he might be a badass hitman or smth but my brain is like #this is just a sad theatre kid who took gymnastics #''aphelios how is your assassin training going'' aphelios who has only been reading the acrobatics textbook: my what #is there anyone still reading these tags. hi there #i have a lot of thoughts on him. im very obsessed with his animations #like he has a laugh animation for every weapon....... #all the various weapon animations... #maybe the real reason we wont have a legendary for 10 more years is all the animating they have to do #i mean his base animations are so good id honest be like OK if they reused them #cant rly do much better than already Top Tier animations #unless we get an alune legendary..... #hope alune is super awesome and badass and all the aphelios voicelines are a really shy awkward guy or smth #like you look so cool and awesome fighting and the whole world doesnt know ur listening to a lil guy in your brain the whole game #the contrast would be very funny methinks #if anyones still reading this. yes i know riot made up some reason about budget or whatever for voices #but i choose to believe aphelios is head empty no thoughts and thats why he doesnt talk to alune #(STILL GOOFY OF A REASON... lots of VAs can do both genders of voices.... like. what about kindred and kayn....) #then again wouldnt be surprised if they were overbudget on the animations but still smh my head into oblivion #can relate to a guy who simply doesnt wanna talk #(said after 10000 tags of talking to myself) #i should really put my thoughts onto a separate post or blog or something #anyways have i mentioned i think hes really cute

[druidshollow]

"what would your character be like without their trauma?" is such a hard question for me because it makes me feel like a massive asshole LMAO

(im attaching a picture of a tundra literally to add context to my ramble in the tags because my posts are structured by a sane person) (you should read the ramble in the tags i talk so much about rivers fsr)

#like. rivers would probably just purpose funky things for the hell of it and study lizards and stuff #i think environmentalism would matter to him since he was created long before the great equalizer when there was like. actually a view #have you guys ever looked at a tundra for real theyre so pretty. i think the colours would be funkier though #purples and blues along with the reds and oranges i think but id have to draw it tio be sure its not ugly #anyways. rivers would probably be interested in nature conservation especially since the ancients destroyed the world- #but the iterators construction obviously had a massive part in that so hed feel ownership #him and glass wouldve got along VERY well in this circumstance since that matters a lot to her (specifically animal conservation though) #but at the same time glass doesnt exist without rivers trauma right. she cant exist if flowers isnt in his life because he Literally built #her (glass) just to be mean to rivers #doomed for real #i....... want them to be friends in the walky au. my massive block is trying to think of some reason nights Needs to leave his can because #he wouldnt if not required. and glass just wouldnt leave him. in no circumstance would they willingly separate from eachothers company #theyd ALSO need to be really fast because the only opportunity nights would get to get out is when odyssey goes to him to help her build #the weapon she needs to kill dune. (odyssey has the gift. the twins dont know anyone else who does((other than phrases obvsly))) #this happens a considerable amount of time after phrases and rivers escape. they have like. a month's time on them #odysseys like “if you guys are for real about leaving do NOT go straight south. dont. dont. dont. youre like 2 feet tall you WILL die” #nights is like “DEAR GOD SERIAL KILLERS??????” and glass is like “wtf youre only like a foot taller than us” #anyways i think glass and rivers would get along and rivers has a positive arc here right and realizes hes wrong and hes glad he didnt. #kill the twins. yeah its good you didnt do that dude #i jsut really really think theyd get along if rivers had the chance to associate her with anything but flowers horrid treatment of him #because in the normal story all he sees when he sees her is flowers. and like flowers could the twins can tap into his work and see his #files and logs and such whenever they wanted. they didnt do this very often- glass really never looked at rivers work unless she was told t #but rivers was just made SO paranoid by flowers abuse that thinking of being watched makes him feel sick and horrible #and his whole thing is trying to find a way to feel less horrible right so thats (part of) why he decides to get rid of them #hm. if rivers wassnt traumatized hed like nature and creatures. anyways #oc posting #look to the tags for the oc posting

[seariii]

..... Thinking about kissing my wife...

#blame mari and her doodles okay? #OKAY I'M GONNA BE REALLY GAY HERE IM SORRY IM DYING AND I MIGHT DIE SO ANYWAYS HERE #seari being gay #wife <3 #kotose #im just thinking about straddling on her lap and gently cupping her face. her hands on my waist as i place little kisses on her face #on her lips on her cheeks on her nose on her jaw forehead around her eyes #anywhere i can. while we whisper to each other love words #I can see myself absolutely dying and hiding my face on her shoulder because I JUST DID THAT???? #and she just laughs a bit at it and holds me close- #*hides face* WEY SHE- WEY SHE IS A LITTLE SHIT!!! SHE IS A LITTLE SHIT #SHE WOULD DEFINITELY TEASE ME ABOUT IT THAT LITTLE SHIT- #FJKSMSOACPR #SHE SJDDJTKDBSLWJXOENdbe *punches the sofa* #*punches pillow* #SHE WOULD STRHAHTHTJCOS whisper FJDJSFNDKCS ear WEY ME LA VOY MADREAR- #... i just noticed she would 100% trigger the tsundere me JAJAJAJAJAJAJA #*cough* anyways #she would absolutely murder me afterwards and id just be a blushing mess while yelling at her but she just chuckles with that fucking smirk

[oatbugs]

if i had an allergic reaction again will my friend appear to hold my hand again if i get really drunk again will they carry me home if i'm too sick to get up will she call me at 5 AM to check up again if we've missed a flight and we're stuck in city we weren't meant to be in at 2AM will he tell me about philosophy again if i make bad decisions will she almost slap me in the face and hand me a cigarette again if i feel lost will she share shitty kebab and tell me about her life again will we get to play poker together again

#will he text me for advice about girls again #will she let me walk her home and tell me about her love life again #will she bleach my hair again will she cut my hair again will he teach me about jets and airplanes and the armories in his school again #will she tell me about the bell jar will she write music about me will they braid my hair in a hot summer again #will he walk next to me and tell me about how he wants to become an art curator? will he almost fall into a canal? #will she tell me to bite on a menthol cigarette again #will i get to see them smile again #i know we grow around memories and you never get over a person you lost really you just grow into and around the space they left behind #but theres just a lot of space #will i ever be big enough for everyone i ever loved #carrying memoried is so insane like what a monumental task #(id rather die than not carry them at all though maybe that's the same thing twice) #welcome to london paddington . etc etc #my friend cooked for me when i was too overtaken by heartache to do it myself. yesterday she put a blanket on me without me asking #if i lose her one day how will i carry that #idk how we are capable of this but our capacity for loss is so insane #anyway #time to stop grieving in advance #bye time to get off the train

[moonspirit]

The way chapter outlines are shaping up atm, it *looks* like VBEOW will run for a maximum of 50 chapters total, so... I suppose we've reached a halfway point with chapter 25 ._.

Tho that number could change, but only slightly, at this point.

#im just dumping my thoughts tbh #so nothing's for certain #ANYWAY lets not talk about thr chapter count or the end #id rather die than think about that 🥲 #fic wip #VBEOW

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#had an interesting conversation with my sister the other day. odd i guess bc my sister is pretty smart #on paper shes smarter than me. or at least less dyslexic than me #but she didnt seem to kno what cancer is. i mean like how it works. i mean. cancer is a mistake. a confluence of unfortunate accidents #leading to unrestrained cellular growth. when it metastasizes. when it moves to other parts of the body. those same cells continue growing #if u have smooth muscle cancer and it moves to your kidney. you body is trying to grow more smooth muscle on your kidney #at least as i understand it. and she asked why it wants to kill you. it doesnt want anything. it just is. its not a thing of malicious #intent. its neutral. it grows. it takes up resources. it takes up space. and it grows and grows until the organ it grows on stops #functioning properly. like a parasite she said. but no. not like a parasite. it grows like an empty space. a mass of flesh. a constant #obstructive pressure. it grows like only a tumor can. i dunno. it didnt seem to connect with her that this thing didnt want to kill our mom #but it did anyway. and she felt weird about how long she lived after they took her off any support. but thats how cancer kills #it stops an organ from functioning and most of those r important so it only takes one. so her heart kept beating for 12 more hrs bc it was #meant to beat for 40 more years. but not much it could do without working kidneys and without working blood #but that's life. that's death. that's nature. its all nutral even if it feels horrible to the individual. #i dunno. i thought it was interesting. shes 25 and her mother had cancer for 10 years so id think shed kno more #we're at a weird phase now bc its been a week since she died and everything feels normal. we'll see what happens at the wake this week #its been interesting for sure bc she was sick for 10 years but my parents didnt prepare at all for her to die #so my dad is scrambling to put together the pieces shr left behind to make sure that all the bills r paid and whatnot. he had to guess her #computer password. she didnt tell us what she wanted us to have. she didnt tell us the importance of her jewelry and who it belonged to #before her. i dunno. we're seeing the outline of my mothers Pathology in what she left behind. both in the physical objects and in the #feelings she imparted. i dunno. its been weird #unrelated

[skateisawesome]

does my laptop feel so girly pop after making horrifying crackling noises for no apparent reason?

#but um #if anyone knows anything about this #or like #has knowledge on laptops #am i in danger #is it going to light on fire? #will i die? #i think im gonna go to my schools IT team #and just ask #because #id rather not die #WELL #id rather not die in a fire #anyway #bye!

[nerdie-faerie]

I love how conversations spiral with my mother e.g.

Telling my mum I'm going to a concert for my birthday prompting her to mention the concert she's got coming up that she's apprehensive for -> the conversation ending with my mother telling me I would have starved to death in the past because she believes my picky eating tendencies would out weigh my survival instincts

Because that's exactly how I think too

#+Extra #this was after wed had a conversation in the morning about her bemoaning teenagers saying i wouldve ended up in a convent in victorian times #so either i die because the texture of a lot of foods makes me nauseous or i end up in a convent according to my mother #she never even finished telling me how soon her concert is she never finishes a thought before getting distracted by a newer one #and thats how my brain works too so i get it even when half the conversation is just 'urgh i forgot the word' #'i cant think of the word either but i know what you mean' people at my last uni used to hate that id be like ya know what i mean #and theyd be like no. spell it out for us and id be like no you gotta guess. part of the conversation is just understanding the vibes #anyway what ever brain wires i have tangled she does too

[puppygrldrool2]

they should make getting drunk/high for people on pain medication

#and before you say JUST DO IT ANYWAY look you might be all about just having fun and not caring BUT IM NOT #id rather not die !!!! thank you #bug barks