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honeyedmiller · 2 months

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The Hills | Joel Miller

pairing: actor!joel x f!reader

rating: 18+, minors do not interact.

warnings: no outbreak!joel, joel miller au, use of marijuana (reader gets high and joel takes a hit), alcohol consumption, enemies to not-so-much-enemies, joel is on his freak shit in this one, smut (fingering, ass play, cum eating, rimming, unprotected piv, spitting, m & f oral receiving, consensual choking and breath play), reader is lowkey a brat but joel is also an ass, joel’s twitchy palm™, two (2) ass slaps, reader is described to be wearing a dress and heels, mentions of usage of cocaine (non-descriptive and it’s neither reader or joel using—just had to add the warning), no use of y/n. if there’s anything that i missed, please lmk.

word count: 6.1k

synopsis: drugs. sex. fame. joel miller—the very man you despise. something about hollywood or other. it all seems to become a blurred line when you get invited to an oscars after party at a house in the hills.

a/n: shoutout to @joelsgreys for keeping eyes on this for me, for beta’ing, for letting me rant about this continuously in our texts, etc etc. ily

Hollywood: the definition of glitz and glamor, celebrities galore, and wild parties.

Right?

Sort of.

You’d been to these afterparties before—chaos, laughter, and drunk or high celebrities every which way. The afterparties that showed the real side of Hollywood’s favorite people. The afterparties where secretive sex ensues in a hidden room tucked in the back of the mansion. The afterparties where people let loose, had fun, and celebrated their wins, or the wins of their friends.

That’s exactly why you were here. This particular multi-million dollar home was chalk-full of familiar famous faces that would get absolutely trashed without the public knowing a single thing about their rendezvous, celebrating each other’s wins.

It was like an unspoken rule amongst all the attendees: what happens at the after party, stays at the after party.

Tess Servopoulos, a well-known actress, was your best friend. She always invited you to the award shows when she could, and made sure you were invited to the afterparties. In this case, it was the after party for The Oscars, where her other best friend was celebrating his wins tonight, taking home three Oscars just hours prior.

And it’s funny, because to you, the devil wasn’t down in Georgia. He was in fucking Los Angeles, California, and his name is Joel Miller.

Arrogant, conceited, and a complete asshole as far as you were concerned. You’d never had a good interaction with the man, always seeming to have targeted hatred toward you for no particular reason.

So you hated him right back.

Because, honestly, who the fuck did he think he was?

You didn’t give two shits if he was an A-lister. Good for him. His arrogance and asshole-ish nature was enough to make you roll your eyes at the mere sight of him. He was one of those people that everybody seemed to absolutely adore, thinking he was doing everyone a solid favor just by being in their presence.

And you think, the fuck does it matter anyway? Your opinion of one man in a room full of elites is about as relevant as a speck of fucking dirt on the bottom of some Louboutins.

You inwardly sighed and drank from the champagne flute that was placed in your hand once you maneuvered your way into the house. Tess dragged you along to say hello to people you’ve met before, and introduced you to those you hadn’t. Most of them were fairly nice, some remembering you from previous parties or recognizing you in god-awful candid shots that paparazzi took of you when you were with Tess.

Tabloids were always a funny thing. There were multiple times where you’d see a photo of yourself in public with Tess, plastered in some stupid celebrity magazine claiming you were her ‘mystery lover.’ Or, there were the times where they’d call you a gold digger; someone who wanted fifteen minutes of fame and all the “luxuries” that came with being acquainted with a celebrity.

You always had a good laugh with Tess about them, and she’d tell you that one day she’d share the story behind you: a college roommate who was her total opposite, but it worked. You were there from the beginning—she’d get casted in parts for commercials, then extras for TV shows, and then bigger roles like a supporting character, and eventually the lead character in many blockbuster hits.

You were her biggest supporter, there for her through her wins and losses. She was truly your platonic soulmate, and you, hers.

You always plastered a smile on your face when making your rounds at these things. Got a little star-struck here and there, but you kept your cool. Celebrities are human beings, after all.

The party was in full swing, people plastered and laughing loudly over the thumping music. Sometimes you thought these parties got a little ridiculous, but you knew this was a rare occasion where these people—faces of the public, under a watchful eye of millions of adoring fans and the scrutinizing media—got the chance to loosen up and be their real selves.

You swirled the champagne around your flute, babysitting the same glass from when you first walked into this party. You leaned against a crisp white wall adorned with what you were sure were very expensive paintings, observing the crowd before you.

The familiarity that drifted through the room was almost unsettling for you. Friends with arms slung over each other’s shoulders, casual and comfortable conversation—and then there was you, who didn’t really know anyone but Tess. She didn’t want to leave your side, but she’d gotten pulled every which way for a conversation and you didn’t want to ride her coattail all night, so you told her you’d get yourself another drink, maybe.

And you were going to, but then the room felt a little too warm. So, naturally, you ventured down another long hallway adorned with paintings and expensive side tables with vases that held fresh flowers that probably cost more than you’d ever see in your lifetime.

Your heels clicked rhythmically against the marble flooring as you made your way to two French double doors that led out to a balcony that was unoccupied.

Perfect.

You opened the doors and sucked in a huge breath of air, admiring the lights gleaming throughout the whole of Los Angeles as far as you could see.

And then you wondered, with every house and apartment and business that was illuminated with a soft yellow light, what each individual occupying these spaces stories were.

People that weren’t famous. People that had regular nine-to-five jobs. People who were desperately trying to make ends meet. People like you, you think.

You loved Tess to death. You’d do anything and everything for her, but Hollywood was secretly a massive headache.

You sighed as you tore your eyes away from the soft lights, opening your clutch to find the joint you brought. Just something to take the edge off and ease the fucking nerves that started coursing through you, unwanted and untimely.

You fished the pre-roll and lighter out of your bag, flicking the lighter on in multiple attempts, but no avail.

You groaned as you kept trying, but the realization that your lighter was done for had swept over you quickly.

“Son of a bitch.” You mutter with a heavy sigh.

“Need a light?” A deep voice asked from behind. A familiar voice. A voice with Southern twang that supposedly charmed every person that was blessed to hear it. A voice you couldn’t fucking stand.

You look over your shoulder to see Joel Miller in the flesh, clad in a crisp white button-down with the top two buttons unbuttoned, exposing his tan chest. The shirt was tucked into some black slacks, accompanied by shiny black shoes.

You hated to admit that he looked good. Real good. But you wouldn’t ever dare to admit that out loud, even with a gun to your head.

“No.” You said, turning back around. His footsteps become closer, and you roll your eyes before you have to restrain yourself from physically shuddering at the proximity between you two.

“Stop bein’ a brat and jus’ take the goddamn light.” Joel rolls his eyes, and you turn to face him. He’s next to you now, leaning against the balcony while holding up a lighter.

You eye him conspicuously, and he looks annoyed as he flicks the lighter on and off. You grit your teeth before slotting the joint between your fingers, bringing it up to your lips.

He easily flicks his lighter on once more, bringing the flame to the end of the joint. The small flame illuminates the space between your bodies, and he looks good with the soft orange glow against his tan skin, you think.

The end of the joint crackles and you inhale deeply, turning your body toward the lights of the city once more.

You blow out the smoke slowly, tilting your head to the side. “Thanks,” You mutter.

“Hm,” He hums, “Would ya look at that. Not that hard to use your manners now, ain’t it?”

“Shut up, Joel. Christ.” You rub your forehead with your thumb, eyebrows pinching together. You came out here for some peace, not to be annoyed and antagonized by the very man you couldn’t stand.

“Hey, I jus’ did ya a favor. No need for that fuckin’ attitude of yours.”

“Jesus fuck, Joel, do you not have anything better to do? Shouldn’t you be fucking one of your whores by now or snorting coke in the bathroom with another beloved A-lister?” You roll your eyes and take another hit.

Joel didn’t like that one bit. He took a step forward, broad body hard to ignore with the heat radiating off of him. Your eyes trail up his chest and to his face, which was contorted with pure anger.

“Who the fuck do you think you are talkin’ to me like that? You’re pissin’ off the wrong person, doll.” Joel’s voice is gruff, full of patience that was smaller than a piece of thread at this point.

“I don’t need to bow down to you just because you’re famous, asshole. You’re the one who’s had the problem with me from the beginning. I only reciprocate the energy I receive, so you can fuck all the way off with the superiority complex you think you have over me.”

“Why the fuck are you here anyway? Hollywood ain’t a place for naïve girls like you.” Joel quirks his harsh brow at you, like he’s challenging you.

Motherfucker.

“And who said I was naïve, cowboy? You don’t know a damn thing about me.”

“I know that you’re annoyin’ and don’t fuckin’ belong here. God knows what Tess sees in you as a friend n’ why she keeps invitin’ you to these things.”

Your blood ran hot as you stared at the man in front of you. His jaw was set in a hard line, clenching his teeth every so often in pure annoyance as he looked at you with utter hatred and disgust.

“I may not belong in Hollywood, Miller, but at least my fucking morals are right and I don’t pull bitch moves like abandoning my friends when they need me the most.”

You were infuriated and quite frankly so fucking sick of this man berating you when he should be the last person on this green fucking Earth to talk. It was a low blow, your last comment to him, but what kind of a friend was he to choose a woman he was so pussywhipped over instead of being there for Tess when she was going through a rough time?

It broke your heart to see her so upset that Joel chose another woman he barely knew over her, icing her out when she’d been nothing but a good friend to him. She forgave him, of course, after he’d apologized to her months later.

She had a kinder heart than you would’ve at the situation. You don’t think you could ever forgive somebody for that.

You already thought Joel was an arrogant asshole before that even happened, but that situation was the last nail in the coffin to confirm that he’s exactly the person you thought he was.

“I apologized to her. We’re good now.” Joel’s harsh stare never wavered, but the annoyance in his tone did. He almost sounded…sad.

“Yeah. Whatever.” You roll your eyes, flicking the ash off of the end of the joint before taking another hit. Your mind was already starting to become hazy, and the proximity between you and Joel was starting to make your head spin.

Your gaze flickered up to his face once more, brown eyes still locked on you. You furrow your brows, but before you can speak, Joel plucks the joint from your fingers. He puts the filter up to his lips and deeply inhales, and you frown.

“Get your own recreational drugs, asshole.” You mutter, arms crossing over your chest. Joel’s eyes trail down to your chest before moving back up to yours. A small smirk evades his lips, and he blows the smoke into your face.

“You’re such a fuckin’ brat.”

“Fuck you gonna do? Spank me for not thinking you’re all high and mighty and shit?” The frown is permanent on your face as you assess him, not realizing the impact that your words had on him.

His cock stirred in his slacks at the thought of that.

He stubs out the half-finished joint before handing it back to you. You tuck it away in your purse before looking at him again, carefully studying him.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” He’s got a knowing look on his face, and you have to force yourself to feign disgust.

Because, goddammit, you probably would. You’d probably be all over him if he wasn’t such a fucking asshole. The rage you’ve targeted toward him has made you see past his rugged looks and charm, the broadness of him and the veins that protrude from his hands to his forearms and—

You’ve wondered briefly what it’d be like to succumb to it. To be like every single other person who melts for him like lava seeping into the deepest cracks of the Earth. Untouchable. Destructive. And yet, a beautiful aftermath.

“Think I’ll take that as a yes.” His laugh rumbles from deep within his sturdy chest. For a moment he looks so carefree, so light and happy while he laughs. It might’ve been at your own expense, but for the slightest second, you saw through the harsh stares and the hateful demeanor.

“Fuck you, Miller.”

His mouth snapped shut and his harsh gaze settled on you again. His nostrils flared as he glared at you, a heat behind his eyes you’ve never seen before. His palm twitches at his side and he opens his mouth to say something argumentative, but closes it after a second.

Before you know it, he wraps his hand around your forearm, dragging you behind him.

You nearly trip over your heels as you try to keep up with him, wriggling in his strong grasp. He wouldn’t let up.

“Let go of me you asshole!” You seethe, but he pushes you into a room—tucked at the back of the mansion—secluded from everyone else. Oh.

Oh.

Oh, fuck.

You quickly realized you were in for it when he shut the door and locked it. Nerves buzzed in your veins and you inhaled a shaky breath.

He looked like he was some sort of predator stalking its prey with the way his eyes scanned your body as he moved around to the other side of the room.

“Real fuckin’ sick of your attitude.” He starts. You scoff at him and throw your arms up.

“Wouldn’t have to deal with it if you just left me the fuck alone in the first place.” You cross your arms over your chest once more, and Joel takes two large strides toward you before he’s standing so close that you can smell the whiskey and weed on his breath.

“N’ that’s the problem, darlin’, I can’t leave you alone. Been wanting to fuck that attitude right outta you since the first day we met.”

You swear your heart drops into your ass. “Wh-what?” Your eyes are wide as he walks forward, forcing you to move backwards until the backs of your knees hit the king-sized bed.

You didn’t even notice there was a bed in the room because the very man before you was insanely distracting.

“You heard me. You’re a brat, baby, n’ brats deserve to be punished.”

You swallow hard as a fire burns behind his eyes, mischievous and daring.

“Joel—”

“Turn around.”

You don’t even think twice before listening to his demand, turning around so you face the bed.

“Can’t hate me that much if you’re an obedient little thing for me, hm?” The amusement was oozing from his Southern drawl.

Your first instinct was to argue with him, but deep down you knew he was right. Maybe all the hatred you had for him had a little bit of desire sprinkled deep down in the depths of your core, unexplored and completely disregarded.

The thought of his hands on you excited you. You saw the way he touched women in the movies he was in. Regardless if it was just acting or not, you always ended up aroused after Tess would force you to watch any movie of his—especially the ones with erotica. She would tease you about not liking him, unknowing of the true abhorrence that stirred in your body. He was her best friend too, so you had to be cordial to him around her for her sake.

You tried to ignore him altogether, but where it got you now—pressed up against the bed as his large hands landed onto your body to tightly grip your hips—didn’t seem to pan out so well.

“Will you let me touch you?” His voice has a rough edge to it, the teasing long gone as he stares at your figure from behind.

“Yes.” You whisper.

He doesn’t say another word as his calloused hands slide around your thighs and to the front of your body. He presses himself against you, and the warmth he radiates off of his body alone makes you sigh.

He’s so sturdy and strong, just as you imagined him to be. You could feel his cock hardening against the plump of your ass, and you wiggle in the slightest to tease him.

He inhales sharply, one hand sliding underneath the hem of your dress while the other hand splayed out onto your stomach.

The skimpy panties you had on did a terrible job at keeping your arousal strictly within the confines of the lace fabric. The apex of your thighs was smeared with the neediness you refused to address, now completely on display for the man it was all for.

Joel’s hand skimmed your inner thighs, chuckling darkly as he traced the outline of your pussy with his thumb through the fabric.

You tried your hardest to hold back a moan, really. You fucking tried. As soon as the sound bubbled in your throat and glided past your lips, you could feel Joel’s smile in victory. He was always playing chess while you were playing checkers.

Well, check fucking mate for him.

“Didn’t know I got ya this excited, baby.” He grips the hem of your panties, sliding them down your legs. You step out of them and he immediately pockets them.

“You wouldn’t be the first.” You mumble, not wanting to feed into his already huge ego.

“Oh I’m sure I’m not,” He starts, breath hot on your neck. “Doesn’t mean I won’t ruin every other fuckin’ man for you. Bend over.”

You clench around nothing at his words, deciding that staying silent is better than digging yourself deeper into your own fucking grave.

You do as he says and bend over the bed, cheek resting against the soft silk sheets.

“‘M gonna fuckin’ make sure I’m all you think about after this. Fuck yourself with your fingers to flashbacks of tonight. Moanin’ my fuckin’ name all alone in your house, wishing I was there to take care of you instead. Fuckin’ brat.”

His words sound like a simultaneous threat and promise, but you just had to say something. You couldn’t let him completely have this without giving him some kind of shit.

“Oh please, I bet I’ll forget as soon as we walk out of this room. You’ve probably got a small dick anyway.”

And you know that isn’t true. He’s huge, and you know he’ll never let you forget about tonight.

A sharp sting blooms onto one of your asscheeks, the sound of him smacking your flesh reverberating off of the walls of the bedroom. You moan at the delicious pain.

“You n’ I both know that ain’t true, doll. Enough with that fuckin’ mouth of yours. Could put it to better use than talkin’ all that shit.”

His hands knead the flesh of your ass, spreading your cheeks apart to get a good look at all of you. You almost feel embarrassed, but decide not to get into your head too much about it because all you want him to do is fucking touch you where you need him the most.

Your core was aching. You were almost ready to put your pride aside and fucking beg him to touch you. Almost.

You were about to give in when you heard him shuffle behind you, and you craned your neck to see Joel drop onto his knees behind you.

His eyes locked with yours as he gave you a smirk before leaning forward to bite your ass. You let out a small yelp, and his hand was quick to soothe the pain.

“Gonna fuckin’ set you right once n’ for all.”

And he brings a hand up to your core, sliding his middle and ring finger through your dripping folds. You whimper softly at the sensation, a small flood of relief coursing through your veins. But it wasn’t enough. You needed more.

Your hips start to rock involuntarily, and Joel tsks at you.

“Greedy fuckin’ whore, aren’t ya? Patience is a virtue, baby.” He chides.

“Goddamnit Joel.” Your voice sounds breathy, even to your own surprise.

Suddenly, Joel slips his two fingers into you, and your hands fly out to grip the sheets beneath you. Your eyebrows furrow together and relish in the feeling of his thick fingers scissoring in and out of your aching cunt.

“So fuckin’ wet already. ‘F I woulda known I did this to ya…” He chuckles, working his fingers in and out of you expertly.

He leans forward and licks up your folds, swirling his tongue around your clit. You can’t help the strangled moan that leaves your mouth, and you can just feel Joel’s cocky ass smirk.

He continues lapping up your arousal, more dripping out around his fingers and down to his wrist. It'd been awhile since anyone touched you like this, so you presume you were extra turned on because of that reason.

You didn’t want to give all the credit to Joel.

His tongue slid up and he removed his fingers from you, replacing them with his tongue as he prodded it into your entrance and fucked you with it.

You were already a moaning mess, like you were on cloud nine with the way he was making you feel. He gripped both of your cheeks and spread them further for his own leisure, tongue dragging upward until it met your asshole.

“Holy fuck, Joel—” You choke out, eyes rolling to the back of your head as he swirls his tongue around the tight ring. Your heart is thrumming in your chest and your pussy clenches around nothing.

Joel lowly moaned around you, the vibrations shooting straight up your spine.

You don’t know how long he’s doing this for—your mind is still hazy from the high you’ve been riding, pleasure wrapped around every single inch of your body. You lose track of time and immerse yourself in how he’s making you feel.

Joel pulls himself away from you, sliding both of his fingers back into you. This time, though, he teases your other hole with the tip of his pinky.

“You ever let anyone fuck this pretty ass of yours with their fingers?”

“Please.” Was all you could squeak out, because while you didn’t want to admit you never have, you were willing to give it a go. It was obvious he knew what he was doing, and if you didn’t like the way something felt, you’d just tell him.

He spits onto your asshole before grunting, “Relax.”

And you do. He slides his pinky into your puckered hole, and fuck you feel so full with him like this. He works his three fingers in and out of you slowly at first, each move calculated and precise.

He may’ve been an asshole, but he at least wanted to make sure you were comfortable.

He picks up the pace of his fingers after he’s sure you can handle it, and the feeling of pleasure seizes your body as you shake underneath him.

It’s too much and not enough all at once. You can feel your orgasm rapidly building building building, the coil wound so tight that your stomach constricts in plea of release.

“Fuckfuckfuck, Joel I’m gonna—oh fuck!”

And you’re literally gushing around his fingers. He prolongs your orgasm as long as he can. You think he’s saying things like there you go, that’s it, but you can hardly pay attention over the loud ringing in your ears as you try and come down from your Earth-shattering orgasm.

He slips his fingers out of you slowly, watching your body convulse sporadically from the aftermath of it all.

He grabs your body and flips you around so you’re laying at the edge of the bed. The fluorescent lights are blinding as you try and look at his face. You blink rapidly, chest heaving up and down as you try your damndest to find your bearings once more.

He’s unfastening the button on his slacks, and all you can hear is the rustle of the fabric and the thumping music outside of the locked door.

You wondered briefly if anyone—Tess, specifically—was looking for the two of you. You’d be mortified if she found you like this, but Joel was smart enough to lock the doors.

You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t even noticed he was pulling down his underwear, so when you looked back at him you gasped when you saw his stiff, aching length. Your hunch was correct—he was huge. His tip was red, smeared with precome and just begging to be taken care of.

If there was any time in your life to impress Joel Miller, now was your chance. You sit up on your knees and lower your head, looking up at him through your lashes, your mouth inches away from his tip.

The muscle in his jaw ticked furiously, brown eyes watching you meticulously. You gave him a small, cocky smirk before you leaned forward and wrapped your lips around his tip, eyes fluttering shut at the salty taste. You use one hand to steady yourself onto the bed, and the other to wrap around his length as you start to pump him slowly.

He inhales sharply, holding back a groan as you undoubtedly start to please him.

You set a steady rhythm between your hand and mouth. The wet sounds are obscene and nearly pornographic. A part of you wishes this was being recorded so you’d have something to watch back when you needed to get yourself off.

Greed is a tragedy, and tragic you were in this moment.

Joel’s hand flies to the back of your head, cradling it as you remove your hand and slide your lips as far down his shaft as your mouth would allow. The head of his cock hit the back of your throat, and as much as you were salivating, you swallowed around him.

The tip of your nose barely made contact with the wiry hairs at the base of his cock, and Joel let out the most guttural groan you’d ever heard.

“Filthy fuckin’ mouth, baby. Goddamn. Knew it could be put to better use than you—ngh—spewin’ that fuckin’ attitude.”

You hum around him, bobbing your head up and down his length. His pants were getting more rapid and he was becoming more vocal, grunting fuck and filthy, filthy girl.

“Shit, yeah, just like that doll. Just. Like. That.” Joel’s voice is hoarse behind his clenched teeth. If you didn’t know any better, he’d probably shatter his teeth with how hard he was clenching them.

And you don’t let up. Not even after a string of curses spills past his lips, and definitely not after he groans so loudly that it vibrates through his whole body as ropes of his come spill down your throat.

You’re in overstimulation territory, and he’s falling apart at the seams.

He pulls your head off of his length as he tries to catch his breath, sweat beading at his temples.

“Fuckin’ christ.” He breathes, squeezing his eyes shut before looking at you again.

“Didn’t know I would be so good at that now, did you?” You tease, and the corner of his mouth twitches into a snarl.

“Shut the fuck up.” He says, and you laugh. He grabs your hips suddenly, flipping you around once more so you’re on all fours for him again.

“‘M’keepin’ my promise. Gonna fuck that attitude straight outta your goddamn brain.” His tone is serious, and you’re beginning to think he really isn’t fucking around.

You hear him pump himself a few times and you think about the dangerous threshold you’re about to cross with him. Would you regret it after? Would he?

It was like you were both taking a bite of forbidden fruit, specially picked from the Garden of Eden.

Fuck it. There’s worse things you can do.

“You on any birth control?” He asks, and you nod.

“IUD.”

“Good.” He says before sliding the head of his cock through your folds. Your body jerks when it catches your clit, still sensitive from your previous orgasm.

Without another word, Joel pushes into you and you stretch around him deliciously. It’s like your body was begging for him to be inside you at this point.

“Fuuuck.” Joel groans, gripping your hips so tightly they’d probably be bruised by tomorrow.

You bite your lip to keep from screaming, because he’s the biggest you’ve ever had and the sting won’t go away.

“Move, Joel.” You plead, and he smacks your ass once again, making you flutter around his cock.

“Fuck did I say about patience? Christ, woman.”

You shut your eyes as you feel him become fully erect inside you, and you’re seriously going to cry if he doesn’t move soon.

Almost as if he’d read your mind, he started to thrust his hips slowly. It didn’t take long for him to set a pace, though, and he was brutally pistoning in and out of you.

“Fucking…. hate… you.” You spit pathetically, holding onto the sheets for dear life. He laughs dryly behind you, mumbling a sure before going even harder.

Your moans were getting louder and louder, and you truthfully couldn’t give two fucks who heard you at this point.

Fucking let them hear.

“Better hush up now, whole house could probably hear you with how loud you’re bein’.” He scolded, and you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t give a fuck,” You squeaked out, “Let them.”

“Attagirl,” His laugh was mischievous, pounding into you even faster than before. “Little fuckin’ whore loves takin’ this cock, hm?”

One of his hands moved up your body, causing chills down your spine and goosebumps to raise onto your skin.

His hand wrapped around your throat, and you moaned at the idea of getting choked out while he fucked you from behind.

One of your hands flew up to his, and he was half expecting you to yank it away. He was pleasantly surprised when you clamped your fingers down around his, silently urging him to squeeze.

And he did. You felt like you were fucking floating.

Joel didn’t let up, even when you felt the burning hot coil wind up in your core once again.

“Feel so fucking good– s–o so fucking— fuck.” You’re a blubbering mess. He pulls your body up so your back is facing his front, never letting his pace waver.

“Fucking you dumb on my cock, aren’t I? Listen to you, baby. Pathetic.” He laughs at you once again, but you don’t have any willpower to fight back. You just let it happen, because each thrust of his cock into you has your body turning into complete fucking mush.

“Close.” Is what you whisper, and Joel can feel your walls tightening around him. He chokes on a moan at the sensation, fingers tightening around your throat even more.

You can barely breathe, but you fucking love it. You love seeing stars cloud your vision like this. The heightened sensation of your orgasm comes crashing down over you, eyes rolling into the back of your head as you silently scream out.

Your body convulses continuously as you try to ride out your orgasm, but Joel’s hand leaves your throat and moves down to your clit to rub at it furiously.

You cry out his name, your hands frantic to find purchase to anything as you try and brace yourself.

It’s no use, though. Your body is limp and your soul fucking escaped from you long ago.

“Where do you want me?” The urgency in his voice is evident, but you’re in such a daze that you barely clock it.

“Inside me.” You manage, and he groans loudly before he lets go, filling you up with everything he has. His body slumps over yours, both of you trying so hard to pull yourselves back to reality.

He slides out of you and you both groan at the loss of being one.

You turn over on your back, once again blinded by the lights. Your eyes flutter close as you assess everything that partook the last—thirty? fourty? you don’t fucking know—minutes of your life.

Your body slowly floats back down to reality, and you peel your eyes open when you hear shuffling. Joel is on his knees again, spreading your legs to look at his handiwork. He looks up at you with that same devilish smirk, licking up his spend from your cunt before hovering over you.

He uses his thumb to coax your jaw open, spitting his spend into your mouth.

“Swallow.” He demands, and you do as he says. You open your mouth to show him you did, and a satisfied look washes over his features.

“Hope you feel me leakin’ out of you all goddamn night, sweetheart.”

You look at him incredulously, reality crashing down with the unwavering truth: you and Joel really fucked.

He was inches away from your face, and for a fleeting moment, you wondered what it would be like if he kissed you. His lips looked so soft.

But that would make it too complicated. It would turn into a thing you didn’t need it to be, and you knew kissing him would make the probability of hating him into a fucking zero.

Get a grip.

But, you catch him. You catch his eyes flicker down to your lips, the same thing probably reeling in his mind, too.

Maybe one wouldn’t hurt.

No. You wouldn’t allow it for yourself. He can take his Southern charm and shove it up his ass.

You cleared your throat and moved to stand up. Your legs were shaky at first, but you found your grounding as you walked over to the mirror on the other side of the room.

You straightened out your appearance, making sure you didn’t have “I just got fucked” plastered across your forehead. Once you were satisfied, you turned around to see Joel sitting on the bed.

You nod at him once, “Joel,” and you’re unlocking the door to be rejoined by the thumping music and loud laughter, leaving him to stare at you as you walked away.

You made your way into the backyard, needing a breath of fresh air after everything that ensued.

“There you are! I was looking all over for you.” Tess pulls you into her side, giving your arm a playful squeeze as she holds you close.

“Yeah, I uh, went to smoke a J.” Which, yes, was of course partially true—but you’d probably never admit to her that you just got done getting your brains fucked out by Joel Miller.

She probably wouldn’t even believe you if you told her, anyway.

It didn’t need to become a thing, even if it was the best sex you’ve ever had in your life.

Sex you’d probably be having flashbacks about years down the line, just as Joel promised.

You groan inwardly, eyes drifting upward to casually scan the backyard. You caught a familiar pair already staring at you from across the way, and your whole body bloomed with aching heat once more.

Those brown eyes were accompanied with a sickening smirk, and two seconds later, a wink.

You knew no matter how hard you tried, and as much as you fucking despised him, it wouldn’t be easy to get him out of your head.

You were so fucked, you think.

The idea of admitting that you maybe didn’t hate him was unwarranted, but you knew deep down it was your reality. You really didn’t hate him.

And maybe, just maybe, these parties weren’t so bad after all.

tags: @ilovepedro @nostalxgic @punkshort @endlessthxxghts

dividers by @saradika-graphics

#joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller x reader #joel miller one shot #joel miller imagines #joel miller imagine #joel miller au #actor!joel #joel miller x female reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller tlou #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x afab!reader #fic: the hills

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so-so-woso · 7 months

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i wanna be the one | part 1

Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.

Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol

Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.

Word Count: 3,284

London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.

Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.

You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.

You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.

That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.

“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.

You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.

“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.

“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.

“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”

“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”

You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.

Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.

The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.

By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“

“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”

A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”

“Four.”

“Two.”

“Three?”

“Two, McCabe.”

“Two and shots?”

“…”

“Two…and shots?”

“…one shot.”

“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”

A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.

“You always this quiet?”

You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”

You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.

“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”

That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.

“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.

The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.

“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.

“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.

“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.

“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”

Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.

You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.

Yep. You fucked up.

#woso #arsenal wfc #arsenal women #woso fanfics #woso x reader #arsenal x reader #leah williamson x reader #leah williamson

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thesarcasticreader · 1 year

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PAC 18+: WHO IS HAVING WHAT FANTASIES ABOUT YOU?

IF YOU ARE MINOR, OFF YOU GO FROM THIS POST. ENJOY A TEA PARTY, NOT AN 18+ READING!

These are general readings meant for entertainment purposes. You can partake in advice, but do not let it cloud your decision-making.

I do take paid readings. You can contact me for them. Make sure you have either Paypal or Gpay! DM for the price list!

(IMAGES ARE TAKEN FROM PINTEREST)

Pile 1:

This person will love hugging. It's not a kink but they love it very much. For very few, they could be into the whole spanking thing. They are on the dominant side. They fancy you misbehaving and them schooling you, so there's that.

They love seeing you in flowy, risqué dresses. Something about wearing basically that netted lingerie is coming through. They would want you to embrace your body as it is and prefer it when you do not hide your body from them. They will want you naked all the time. If you are home, you remain naked. That’s their rule. This person hates beating around the bush when it comes to sex. They see it as a natural thing, and they do not give a fuck about what the world says. They live fully.

They will play out every single one of their fantasy. They love cuddling after sex. You two can share some food and drinks or even cigarettes if that's your thing afterwards. Your pillow talk will include food.

Strawberry would be their favourite food. You could smell or taste like strawberries to them.

They love blowjobs/ oral from you. They literally cannot get enough of your mouth. They would die a very happy person if they received orals for the rest of their lives.

They are scared of losing you to someone else. They would write you love letters and even give you gift baskets randomly. They would love to take you out for a picnic and then draw out an orgasm or two.

This person is religious and traditional. They may ask your assistance if they are into witchcraft Lilly and orchids may have relevance. Marriage is sacred to them. They only marry when they are sure.

They don’t want anyone who is materialistic. Out of place but this person loves a fluffy bed with a lot of pillows. Guess they use the pillows to settle you in the perfect position. Try it if you haven't. It helps.

They aren’t vanilla but they aren’t crazy wild either. This is respectful sex with multiple rounds.

They love coloured hair. They are going to be obsessed with watching you sleep. They may even wake you up with sex. Morning sex is their favourite. Take it as it resonates but threesomes orgies may be their thing. Or at least they will fantasize about it. They may have grown up on a farm. Their fantasies include taking you from behind and fingering you at the same time.

They are the more dominant in the relationship. You two are tied to fate or maybe a twin flame.

Pile 2:

Death by orgasm. That's it. That's what came through immediately. You will be a little overwhelmed when you sleep with this person. They give it all. All or nothing is their motto.

This person is super possessive. They will not tolerate anyone hitting on you. They will mark their territory, drag you home and mark you some more. A very heavy Scorpio energy. You or they may have a Scorpio venus. Capricorn is prevalent too.

Makeup sex would be their thing. They fight and fuck. Hehe.

Sore body parts and all the work. You probably know where this is going, but the relationship with this person can be toxic.

Britney's Toxic playing in the background. 🎶🎶With a taste of your lips, I'm on a ride You're toxic, I'm slippin' under With a taste of a poison paradise I'm addicted to you🎶🎶

Anyway, To alleviate stress this person would go for sex. Let’s put it this way. All of life’s problem has one solution according to this person and that’s sex. This person's approach is flawed but in an odd way. They are not overly optimistic but they aren't pessimistic either. You could describe their view of the world as mundane. Is that a weird word? Sure. But it's true. They are flexible in thinking but they don't give two fucks about things.

This person may piss you off a bit sometimes. They can be secretive and impulsive. They have a mouth that runs a mile too long. This can frustrate you and flare insecurities, that's why if you meet this person or have met this person, hesitate to enter into this relationship until you are sure that this person has the ability to self-reflect and adapt.

They love your boobs. They stare at those a lot. For the male audience, the feminine is going to be leaving bite marks all over your upper body. Plus if you ever try to seduce them, they are a goner. The fun part is if you tease them throughout the day bit by bit. They are going to torture you through the night. Delaying orgasms, and edging all the good but frustrating stuff This person expresses themselves through sex.

Hibiscus may be important for this pile. Pineapple is what they would describe your smell. There may be communication issues at the beginning of this relationship. This person will learn to listen. Be patient with them. Rough hardcore sex is their thing. Oof, your poor legs.

This person has a lot of healing to do. This feels like a twin flame thing. It's not bad, but there is a lot of misunderstanding because many of the habits are being reflected and they/ you may want to run away from but cannot.

Pile 3:

This person will indulge in a lot of car sex and kitchen sex. This person is someone who will love to introduce aphrodisiacs in the bedroom or the kitchen, anyway.

Shower sex is there but you guys are not going to indulge in that one very much.

Vanilla is what you smell like to them. Poison ivy may have some relevance to this pile. Plants have come through for each pile. So idk if that's a message for me to start doing green witchcraft or encourage people for the same. Confusing times.

This person would love to tie your legs together, hold them up and pound it out. In the case of the feminine, she will love to tie you up. Her personality is going to be more dominant than yours. She would not be shy about sex. This pile may be drawn to pile 1 as well. There is a lot of difference in the relationship dynamics and that may be why you chose this pile.

This person is very transformative. They like to adapt and change as per the world. Not in a superficial way, but having a transformational mindset. They are very, very progressive. This person could like the colour green.

This person may travel a lot too. You would have to opportunity to explore a lot of places with this person. Greece, Turkey and Morrocco came straight through. This person will introduce you to a part of this world you would have never thought you would be a part of. This person does seem financially well-off. Like taking two trips to foreign countries rich. That's pretty amazing. You may be expecting a little more from this person but you do have certain financial insecurity which you could project onto them. Time to do shadow work!

You are going to be smaller than this person if you are feminine. And for the masculine, this person is going to be smaller than you.

You know how some people mark great memories of new places with sex? Yeah. That’s this person. You guys will celebrate with sex when you travel to a new place.

Basically very experimental, not dull and dour. Tying you up may be on the menu every now and then while teasing with a vibrator. This person would love to gift you sex toys And you are going to love to tease this person. They are a big fan of that habit.

They love to see you masturbate. Knee-high boots and wearing nothing is the key to their pants. They might give you a red necklace as a present too.

They love grabbing you when you walk past them. It could be the ass the boobs whatever. There is also another element. You two gossip a lot.

Like if there’s tea that either of you heard, both of you know. There is no point in asking you to not tell anyone because you will tell this person. You two are like besties.

IF YOU WANT MORE READINGS, YOU CAN CHECK MY INSTAGRAM: @A_sarcastic_Reader.

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shapelytimber · 2 months

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Wdym it's been 5 months ? Anyway, here is the end of my little comic serie about this niche Skyrim mod

*Insert me 100%ing the 4th arc of the hit mod 'vigilant' for the elder scrolls V Skyrim with little difficulty having a grand ol' time*

I messed up my files so Teldryn divorced me while I was away ckgkckkc And you know what good for him, he got a cottage and a kid out of it

[PART 1] - [PART 2] - [PART 3]

[COMMISSIONS]

If you're interested in my thoughts about this mod, you can read that below (it's fucking long so I'm sparing you all just here for the art to have to scroll through all that) vvv

A fantastic mod for sure ! I had so much fun, the voice acting was (for the most part) quite impressive, the music !!!!!!!!! Excuse me who gave this mod permission to have this fucking banger of an ost ???? Loved the new environnements, and there was so much of them !! Especially in act 4, I felt that all the locations had a unique and gorgeous aesthetic (frankly it was the most fun I had doing dungeons in skyrim... the bar is on the floor tho- if I ever see another nordic tomb or draugr I'll not be responsible for my actions), and fucking impressive mise en scene.

And the fights were so fun ??? In skyrim ?? Incredible.

But I still have some problems with it- first let's get the elephant out of the room : act 1 and 2... Boy oh boy were they not so great- I get that the begining is a slow burn to 1) get to know the vigilants of stendar, and 2) drive home the fact that the vigilants are quite incompetent and stendar hates them. Ok this is cool ! And they definetly were some highlights, like with the story of the three kajiits (I'm not good with remembering names (forshadowing for later-)), the ending of act 1, and uuuuuuuhhhh underground windhelm looked sick in act 2 !

But the quests in general were not very fun, at least not fun enough to distract me from the parts of the scenario I understood- which were kind of sexist and not that interesting (the sexism doesn't get better with act 3 and 4 but at least I'm having fun)- like I don't expect great women characters, this is still a tes mod, and it definitly doesn't get to "the man writting this is a fucking creep and I'm not playing this any longer" territory... But all the women we interact with are either : prostitutes, mothers/wives, or abuse(it's nearly always rape) victims- like I don't really mind that the first quest is to track down a vampire prostitute who propose to show me her sweetrolls, but it gets pretty tiresome after a while (and kinda ridiculous, like do all the big musley men I'm fighting in act 4 have to angst about their wives ? Can't a big musley woman angst about her partner too...). The worst one is Lamae Bal. From the charadesign, to the dialogues with her, to her story- hated that.

And also we don't have much dialogue choices and ways to influence the story in these 2 (3) first acts. Which I understand like this is a lot of work for fan content, but it's such a stark contrast to act 4 it's a bit jaring.

But speaking of the story... I get this is a very thoughtful and well researched story. A lot of work reading the tes wiki as been done by the author... But I, on the other hand, did not read the entire extended lore wiki- and I admit I was not understanding any of it during Act 4. Like I got a general idea, and the epic, dramatic and emotional moments were still impactful ! But I really don't think the author did a great job getting the story accross, and the more the mod progress, the more this problem becomes relevant. The recuring problem of tes games is that they have really deep interesting lore that we rarely get to see in the games ; the problem of this mod is that we get presented with this lore as if we already knew it.

And after watching an explaination of the story, it's such a shame because it's really good !! And well written ! But I don't think I should need a youtube video to understand it...

Also omfg I am not good with names mod please- everything has like 2-3 different weird fantasy names (but it's never explained it's the same thing, and what the thing is is never explained-), there is a billion men characters with weird ass long names, and the mod expects me to remember them all 5-6 hours after they got killed ??? I don't remember them 5 seconds after I'm done talking to them-

But I had fun playing it, and that's what matters <3 and I'll never get other twink molag bal <3

Also, my mage dragonborn is even more op now omg I can summon an army of 8ft musle men + molag bal + Jyggalag ??? The only fight I had a bit of trouble with was Pelinal's, the rest got obliterated easily (by Pelinal) kgkgkfjfifb

I'll probably need to nerf Elaris at some point in the future-

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mci-writing · 3 months

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Hi I saw that your requests are open. Can I request a senku x female reader where he has a crush on an older tattooed foreigner who was on vacation in Japan when the world was petrified

I've had this sitting for a minute tbh, but mostly bc I didn't want there to be too many spoilers for anime-onlys 😭😭 mostly for how tattoos work,,, Don’t be surprised if there’s a heavy focus on language plot wise, I’ve been working on a lot of linguistics homework 😞

Anyways, hope you enjoy

Science Makes Age Complicated (Ishigami Senku x Reader):

Warnings: technically an age gap but also not (reader was once 2 years older than Senkuu, but now they're the same age due to time shenanigans), fem!reader, some language use (a few swears here and there), reader is American (RIP but it’s plot relevant), reader is implied to know an insane amount of languages (bc this is Dr Stone and it’s relevant to world-building)

"Think you can scrounge something up for her, Yuzuriha?" Senku parts the lush shrubbery for his friend, unresponsive to her obvious surprise at the sight before her. He figured it would go that way, considering how kept away the whole area is, but he'd rather start the spectacle with her big reactions instead of the loud and boisterous version involving the rest of their crew, "I'm more than sure you'll manage to make her something she's 1 billion percent comfortable in."

He'd considered this statue his secret weapon for the next part of their excursion. Well, that would be his explanation as to why he'd waited so long to unveil her and finally free her from her encasement. Really, he could never find the proper time to finally revive her, especially when every time it would feel right to, something else would arise that would require them to use the revival fluid for someone else.

When talks of traveling to the Americas came up, he knew it'd be the perfect time to properly reveal her and, hopefully, ease her into their current predicament. While Gen is a great diplomat, thew mentalist isn't exactly fluent in as many languages as the girl in the statue before them. Even more, if they are to run into more people (which they very likely are), it's better to have at least two representatives to talk things over. That's going to be his reasoning, anyway.

Deep down, he's a little nervous to finally see her again, especially now that he's technically older than her by a few months at least. The last time they'd seen each other had been the day before the petrification light, the two decided to spend time with each other before he went back to school. She was visiting Japan for a bit, a trip she'd planned to make at least once a year since the two had officially met in person while he had been in America. Back then, she'd been 17 to his 15, owning an American driver's license and a tattoo sleeve that left many of the older members of society scandalized.

"I don't think she's going to take being younger than us well," Yuzuriha mentions as she finishes up sewing the outfit she'd made for (Y/n). She worked fast, wiping the sweat that had accumulated on her forehead once she finished. She takes a step back once she's finished, watching as Senku steps forward, "Especially when she finds out how long it took for you to bring her back."

"She'll be fine. I'm 1 billion percent sure she's going to be grateful for it," He responds, popping the top off the tiny vial between his fingers. He doesn't stop the grin from spreading across his face as he lets the contents of the vial drip from the top of her head. The two watch expectedly as it eases its way down her body, stone cracking and parting in its wake, “She’s going to get to visit home, after all.”

The stone falls from her body, the life slowly coming back into her (e/c) orbs as more of her skin is revealed. Her tattooed sleeve remains, now accompanied by the petrification markings on her face and other parts of her body. A wave of confusion hits her as she takes in the unfamiliar surroundings, but her shoulders relax a little as she takes in the two familiar figures next to her, "Senku...? Yuzuriha...?" "Hey, (Y/n)," He immediately greets in response, an excited light coming to his eyes as ruby meets (e/c), "Looks like we're the same age now."

Yuzuriha flinches at his greeting, sighing with a shake of her head as she takes a small step closer to their friend. A nervous smile forms on her lips as she takes (Y/n) hands into her own, leading her out of the hidden away area into the light of the new world. She feels the grip tighten as (e/c) eyes dart around the surrounding forestry in an attempt to better understand the circumstances and environment, "We have a lot to catch you up on, but I'm sure if we ease you in slowly it won't cause you too much whiplash-"

"We don't have time for that, Yuzuriha. We still have to load the ship back up and travel to America," Senku waves the notion off, walking past the two of them and leading them back into the village. Neither of the girls miss the smirk on his face as he continues, unmoving as they gape at him like fish, "(Y/n) will catch up along the way."

He's bluffing, which they realize a little later when Ryusui recounts the plan to spend the next few days loading the ship and replacing the items they used on their last voyage. (Y/n) is assimilated faster into their new society than she can process, the rest of their group taking the basic information they're fed and working with it. Yuzuriha is eventually forced to leave her to fend for her own after a bit to attend to her own assignments and Taiju only stops to catch up for a bit (which is mostly him speed talking and making assumptions about how much she's been made aware of) before continuing to move along.

Senku doubts he'll ever admit it out loud, but he is grateful that they're the same age, even if he's technically older by a few months now. Standing next to (Y/n), who hadn't aged a day past the last time he'd seen her, was the reassurance he secretly needed about his own development. While his growth spurt, a result of the final pushes of puberty during the Stone Wars and roughing it during the New Stone Age, was the only difference he could notice next to her, (Y/n) had been hit with the whiplash of every other development.

To her, it felt like both a lifetime and a long night since she had seen Senku, yet he looked almost completely different and exactly the same. The remainder of his baby fat had rounded out of his cheeks, his face maturing nicely into that of a young adult, and he'd sprung up quite a bit in height. He was still lithe in comparison to Taiju, till thin and very much not built for too much physical labor, but he'd gotten a bit of meat on his bones to fill his arms out a little more. Despite that, he still looked like him, like the jerky boy she'd met by chance in middle school who would be the first person she'd show her newest tattoos to when she was 16 to get some kind of rise out of him.

Taiju and Yuzuriha were a further reminder of the weird passage of time, the two more developed in their own rights. He was beefier, still ever-muscular in a more defined way. His hands seemed rougher, but she didn't know if that had been due to the rougher circumstances or if they were always meant to get so rough with all the handy work Senku would put him up to. Yuzuriha had filled out a little, a few scars littering her hands from what (Y/n) could only assume was from her thread work she'd seem to consistently be working on since they'd gotten back to their stronghold. Her silky brown hair, which had once reached her waist and made a few of the girls from their school envious of its length, now barely reached past her shoulders in its bobbed shape.

She feels so out of place...

~~~~

The rush of information coming to people’s senses is always amusing to watch, but (Y/n) is taking a little more time to process than usual. Even now, a few days into her now being free from the stone prison, she still has more questions. They aren’t particularly scientific, more so just random observations that she really wants the answers to. She’s also hyper-analyzed the villagers' speech patterns, having them repeat their newer slang and pronounce random words in Japanese, English, and German (something they did not realize they were fluent in until she came around). In return, they ask her questions about the past (mostly Senku, Yuzuriha, and Taiju), the sleeve on her arm, and why the hell she knows so many languages already.

Senku can’t really be mad about it slowly down progress, he’s sure he’d slack off a little too if they didn’t have so little time to prepare for their trip across the sea. Neither of them miss the way their eyes longingly stare at one another, meeting a few times before either is dragged away by the others they’re surrounded by. It’s even worse that (Y/n) feels she hasn’t been able to get any time alone with him since they made it to the village. She’d been made aware of their plans once her confusion died down a little, even taking the time to freshen up on the main languages she’d be focused on for their trip and doing what she can to pitch in. Unfortunately, their different preparations would barely, if ever, cross over. Lowkey, it had been killing both of them inside, but they kept up appearances for the sake of getting things done.

She’d learned from Gen, who gave her brain a break by speaking in English with her, that Senku had kept her relatively well hidden. He’d visit her often, but no one had put together that’s what he’d been doing until now. Yuzuriha made it clear she’d only learned of (Y/n)’s whereabouts a little before they’d revived her. However, the brown-haired girl did mention that a few passing statements he’d made in the past were starting to make sense.

It took the last night before the Kingdom of Science would set sail again for (Y/n) to find time away from the others. Despite the various discussions scratching her brain in the best way possible in a new world, the dark blue of the night accompanied by the low noises of crickets and crashing waves gives her the solace she needs. While everything has mostly settled, or settled as much as it can, it's still moving so fast. To her, everything was normal yesterday and then dark for longer than she thinks possible to comprehend, "Maybe this is how Sleeping Beauty felt..."

"I doubt that," A familiar voice speaks up from behind her, the heels of his shoes clopping along the ground as he approaches. The gravel scrunches as he shifts to sit next to her, deep zircon-colored eyes staring out towards the ocean's expanse. He scoots a little closer to her, his head tilting as his pinky reflexively reaches to dig out of his ear, "Considering she typically is depicted to have been a young preteen when she first fell asleep and an older teenager when she wakes, I doubt there were many technological changes to throw her for such a loop, especially if the story takes place in a fictional version of the middle ages."

His eyes shift to peak at her instead, his typical grin filing onto his face. Somehow, they're one of his few features to remain the same despite his growing age. He's one of the reasons she's out here tonight, gathering her thoughts privately one last time so she can tuck them away to focus her attention more on to returning civilization.

Of course, she always thought he was good-looking, most people did. However, where they were turned off by his passion for science and technical engineering, she found it to be all the more endearing for his character. He had his pesty moments, but so did everyone else in some way. It added to his charm, "Didn't see you as the fables type, Senku."

"Had a friend who was super into literature. She read it in different languages to challenge herself," He teases in response, his gaze turning back to the sight before them, "Wonder where she is now..."

(Y/n) tugs her knees up to her chest, the irony of the comparison not lost on her, though made completely on accident. She pulls them closer, resting her cheek on them as she takes in the boy next to her, "Maybe she's trapped somewhere in a stone prison back in the woods."

She watches his chest rumble with his chuckle, a soft breeze picking up and spreading the smell of salt water. He's closer now, the smaller changes staring her in the face and taunting her. She'd wanted him this close to her again, just for the reassurance, but now... She kind of regrets it.

"I would've found her by now," He mumbles, the sound just barely reaching her ears. A fond smile slowly eases across his mouth as he returns his gaze to her, "Would've taken me a while to finally see her like this again, but I think it'd finally be worth seeing her again. Even with the circumstances."

"I'm sure she'd be grateful to see you again too, even with the circumstances."

#ishigami senku #ishigami senku x reader #ishigami senkuu #ishigami senkuu x reader #senku ishigami x reader #dr stone x reader #senkuu ishigami x reader #did not think it would get so sentimental in the end I'm so sorry #I tussled with how to write this for a year and still feel there's further ways I could've taken it but it already feels pretty long so #I may revisit this again later but I won't hold my breath either 🤧#also had this idea that reader was Senku's interpreter in America but I didn't want to get into too much spoiler territory with that idea #she totally teaches him some silly phrases in the different languages she speaks and does mix languages up to mess with people #he doesn't realize he's into her until she goes back home one year and they fight on her way out #I imagine her tattoos are different phrases that she really enjoys and maybe a few doodles here and there #also wanted to wait until Matsukaze was introduced so ppl knew how tattoos work post petrification bc I kinda didn't wanna spoil it

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shakespearean-snape · 10 months

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I’m rereading OOTP right now and I find that scene between Severus and Sirius in the kitchen to be highly relevant in the context of Severus as a feminine-coded character (and Sirius as a representation of toxic masculinity). Sirius is very outwardly aggressive in this scene in a conventionally masculine way, while Severus weaponizes his sarcasm and wit in a way that could be thought of as a more “feminine” form of defence. While Harry describes Sirius’s voice as getting progressively louder and angrier, he describes Severus’s voice as “soft” in contrast (as he usually does, which is also interesting in the context of Severus as a feminine man/GNC character). Sirius gets up and tries to intimidate Severus physically, and Severus grips his wand inside his pocket in a way that reminded me of a victim of domestic violence preparing to defend herself against her abuser.

I’m not sure how much of this was intentional considering how rigid JKR’s views on gender have unfortunately turned out to be, but I can’t help but read Severus as a feminine character, especially since he’s meant to act as a stand in for Lily in the same way as Sirius acts as a stand in for James. It’s very easy to read Sev as gender non conforming and/or LGBTQ, although given JKR’s own views it’s doubtful she meant for us to read him that way (but fuck her, she’s a massive transphobe, the characters are ours now, we can do what we like with them).

Note to self, start checking your inbox regularly. These changes to Tumblr are killing me because the notifications when I get messages or asks are hit-or-miss at best.

Anyways, this is such a great observation! I'm only just learning about coding and that that is even the term for it from reading about it from other Snape bloggers like @idealistic-realism00, @raptured-night, and @professormcguire since I only took the required English courses both my undergraduate years and beyond that my major was in sociology.

So, I'm not really any kind of expert but I do have a lot of personal experience from being biracial and queer myself just with learning to read between the lines and find representation for myself where I can and I think that is the case for a lot of people from less represented, marginalized backgrounds. We have a certain instinct for these things so even without any kind of formal study we sort of know the "codes" (for better or worse depending on what the author's intent is and if it's a negative dog-whistle or something more positive to get around censorships of the time) if that makes any kind of sense.

For me, I always saw Sirius and Snape as two sides of a coin. There were some very obvious parallels and contrasts between them and this really goes to that in a lot of ways for me. Both Sirius and Snape are two men who made pivotal choices in their youths that very much define them and have led to a great deal of internalized guilt and impacted their behaviors as adults. Both Sirius and Snape find themselves confined to their childhood homes at different points, Sirius at Grimmauld Place with Kreacher and Snape at Spinner's End with Peter Pettigrew (both Kreacher and Peter are characters that also are known for betraying Harry and costing him someone he loves at different points and making a turn around in regards to Harry because of kindness or mercy he showed to them).

Where Sirius made the choice to make Peter the Secret Keeper with only James, Lily, and Peter knowing and it ultimately led to the death of the Potters and him being sentenced to twelve years in Azkaban, Snape also unwittingly delivered part of the fated prophecy that led to Voldemort targeting the Potters. Most interesting for me is that Snape's friendship with Lily and Sirius's friendship with James could be read as either platonic or a case of unrequited romantic feelings. There is the observation in SWM made by Harry that while Sirius was clearly a looker who attracted the attention of girls, his attention was fully on James and not on those admiring glances. So, when looking at Sirius's relationship with James through a comparative lens to Snape's with Lily they could be platonic friends or both Sirius and Snape could have had romantic feelings for their best friends while, ironically enough, Sirius had to watch James fall for and succeed in winning over Lily just as Snape had to do the same.

In the case of Snape and Sirius there is also a degree of regression and arrested development stemming from trauma (and both men at different points make the clear mistake of seeing Harry as a stand-in for James as a result of said trauma). Where Sirius spent twelve years in Azkaban able to hold onto his sanity against the Dementors in part because he knew he was innocent and the truth of what happened was a deeply unhappy thing for him, Snape spent decades in Dumbledore's service at Hogwarts (a place with its own unhappy associations for him having found it was not a refuge from life at Spinner's End with Tobias as he had hoped but another place where he would be bullied relentlessly, overlooked by his Head of House and housemates for being a poor half-blood with no status, subject to institutional failures resulting from yet more adult authority figures in his life not protecting him, groomed by Voldemort's followers and responsible for alienating his closest friend as a result) teaching children when clearly he does not have the temperament and, courtesy of his role as a spy, concealing his own truths and intentionally not allowing people to know the best of him. In a sense, both men had a negative public image that ran counter to the full truth about them and both of them died without being able to see those misconceptions vindicated (Sirius died still presumed by the Ministry and general public to have been the traitor who turned his friends over to Voldemort and murdered innocent people and Snape died knowing he had delivered information to Harry that would lead to his death and unsure of the outcome of the war with everyone thinking him a coward and murderer).

There's just, a LOT of parallels there between the two when you start to unpack them as characters. Even the fact that they both came from domestic dysfunction and unhappy home lives. It makes their mutual antagonism all the more of a tragedy because if not for Sirius's prejudice (which is arguably more understandable given his family and their long tradition of being sorted into Slytherin) against Slytherins and antagonism of young Snape on the train and the years of bullying and bad blood that followed, these two men had the most potential to understand each other. Alas, they do not, but it is their likenesses that makes their differences in how they clash all the more interesting because, as you noted, there are stark differences there. Sirius is all overt masculine energy; hot-headed and physically imposing while Snape is more strained, the ice to his fire.

Most striking to me was always the difference in how little respect Sirius showed to Snape's body while he was unconscious (further demonstrating how little Sirius has changed from the teenage boy who once stood with James and exposed Snape to laughing schoolmates) versus how Snape conjured a stretcher while still under the impression he was the one responsible for betraying the Potters (and the death of Lily). In that way, we get to see how Snape has developed as a person away from his past choices and learned from them. He may still regress, as he does quite plainly when forced to return to the Shrieking Shack and is confronted by Sirius and Remus there, but he isn't quite in the full state of arrested development as Sirius (but given his circumstances in Azkaban that isn't entirely surprising either; there is a tragedy to Sirius's character for all that there is as much of a darkness as there was in Snape during his time as a Death Eater and the fact so many Marauder apologists who double as "Snaters" refuse to acknowledge that outside of romanticizing the angst of it all while vilifying Snape is quite possibly an even greater tragedy, imo) which is why Sirius's death came in part due to his inability to move beyond his past and find it within himself to treat Kreacher with a modicum of understanding or empathy (in addition to his desire to be part of the action again and recapture his lost youth when it was him and James in the Order together) while Snape's death came only after he had to reconcile with the fact his original raison d'être for becoming a spy (to protect Harry for Lily as penance) ran counter to what was needed to defeat Voldemort for good and he still chose to stay the course instead of pursue his own agenda and act on his own self-interests.

In short, Sirius's death was partly due to the fact he couldn't move beyond the past. While Snape's death came as a result of the fact he had grown enough as a character to set aside his past motivations and see things through because he had become someone who conjured stretchers even for hated enemies and risked his life to save all those who he could save (including Sirius and Remus).

Thanks for the ask and I'm so sorry it took so long to respond but it gave me even more to think about. The masculine vs. feminine coding just adds an extra element to Snape and Sirius's dynamic when it was already interesting to me and I've always had a lot of thoughts about how those two were written with so many parallels and points of contrast. Love this ask!

#severus snape #snape meta #pro snape #snape community #snape fandom #snapedom

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goldribboncottage · 6 months

Text

Hazel Callahan Fanfiction

I haven’t posted on tumblr dot com in probably three years. I don’t know how it works.

This is my untitled fanfiction about being Hazel’s sisters’ nanny and falling in love. I haven’t written a fanfiction since I was in middle school. Enjoy.

Untitled Pookie Story

It wasn’t supposed to end up this way. You weren’t supposed to fall for the bosses daughter. You barely knew the boss had a daughter. Mrs. Webster mentioned in passing that her oldest was off at college, and didn’t tend to come home on breaks.

“I have another child at Amherst, but that won’t be relevant to this position. It’s strictly caring for the twins! She never comes home anyway. A lot of people ask, what was I thinking having kids 20 years apart, but it’s truly a blessing to start over. No need to relive mistakes as a first time mom! I’m so excited to have someone so kind caring for my babies.” Mrs. Webster almost hired you on the spot.

You wondered about the elder Webster. She probably wasn’t called that, being from her first marriage. Whatever, it’s not like you would be seeing her at the new job. There were no pictures of her in the house, but you knew her old bedroom was across from yours, and you took over her old bathroom. Being a live in nanny, your priorities were the 4 month old fraternal twins, Isla and Sage.

Two months in and you had the twins on a great schedule, and hit your stride. Making friends wasn’t always easy for you growing up but you fell into an easy friendship with a group a little younger than you. PJ and Brittany were nice people and you had a lot in common. Brittany was a cosmetologist and cheered for a local sports team, and PJ had her own podcast. They had known each other since high school but quickly accepted you as one of them. You had hung out with them a lot since moving, and gotten to know their wider group of friends.

The best part about being an infant nanny was the nap times. Mrs. W didn’t expect you to do any chores or extra work, so you’d usually hang out in your room or the common areas. Today being the first warm day in a while, you took the baby monitor outside and read on the back porch.

Nearly falling asleep, the porch swing was your favorite part of the house. Sure, Mrs. Webster had a huge house from her first divorce settlement, and plenty of money of her own, but this little corner felt like your place. Big and comfy, naps outside always came unexpectedly.

*Movement at Front Door*

Waking you, the Ring notification flashed on your screen, and you figured it was Mrs. W coming home early. She usually texted, but maybe she forgot. Typical for a woman in her 50s who married a 28 year old surfer and divorced him before their children were born.

Re-entering the house to greet Mrs. Webster, you were met with a surprise. A very short, shaggy haired, blue eyed surprise.

Hazel POV

I’m not sure why I decided today was the day to come home for the first time in five months. After helping my mom with her two little mistakes for three weeks I decided it hurt too much to be around them. Just more reminders my mom chose a new start over me.

I didn’t bother telling my mom I’d be coming home, she’d prefer I stay in Massachusetts. But it was spring break, and I missed my friends. PJ mentioned my mom hiring help, but I didn’t care about what she did. She was always looking for ways out of being a parent.

There was a foreign car in the driveway, with a Callahan Motors license plate cover. Must be a guilt present from my dad. Another SUV for my mom to drive around the little brats in.

I had planned on running home for a quick shower and change of clothes before meeting up with PJ, Josie, Isabel, and Brittany.

I hadn’t planned on entering my home and finding it filled with stuff I didn’t recognize. Shoes that were way too young for my mom filled the rack in the closet, another with jackets I didn’t recognize. Huh. Must be another crisis, this time in fashion. I made my way to the kitchen at the back of the house when something stops me. Or rather, someone.

Reader POV

“Who the fuck are you?” The tiny masculine girl scoffs, rounding the kitchen island.

“Who am I? WHO ARE YOU? Why are you here? Get out! If you don’t leave I’m calling the cops!” unfazed, she grabs a drink out of the fridge. “I’m serious. I am responsible for this house and all of the people in it right now and I am not afraid of you. Get out before I make you get out”

Sensing your change in tone, she puts her hands up in defense “Hey, I live here, I could say the same thing to you.” She sips her drink and doesn’t break eye contact.

“You don’t live here! I’ve NEVER seen you before! I live her with Mrs. Webster and her daughters. I’m calling the cops. You can get out now or wait until they-“

“Whoawhoawhoa, pleasedontdothat. I’m Hazel. Callahan. My mom didn’t tell you about me? Are you like the maid or something? I’m just visiting for spring break. I live here. Seriously.” You stared at her, as if telling her to go on. “If I didn’t live here I wouldn’t know there’s a chip in the upstairs bath tile I never told my mom about, or that the fourth step squeaks on the stairs, and I have two baby sisters! I know their names! Isla and Sage! They’re like, little! I don’t know how old they are! But they’re still, like, babies, I think!”

You put down your phone. So this is Mrs. Websters oldest daughter. Hazel Callahan. You wondered why you had never heard her name until now.

“They’re 6 months old. Next week will be 7.” You explain. “And I’m not the maid, I’m the nanny. I live in the room across from yours. I told your mom about the chip in the tile. I thought I did it when I slipped coming out of the shower.” She laughs. You can see it now. Sage has the same deep blue eyes, and Isla’s hair is just a shorter, thinner version of Hazel’s. “I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too. Sorry about the mix up. Where are those little rugrats? I haven’t seen them since they came out of the womb.” She puts back her drink and starts to make her way to the nursery.

“Wait! Just look at the monitor. They aren’t supposed to wake up until 3.” You hand her the monitor, and she grabs it slowly. Your hands brush, and you explain to her the differences in the girls.

“Isla has the dark hair, like you and your mom. Sage has lighter hair but darker eyes. Blue. Like yours. Dark blue. And big.” Hazel glances at you with her big blue eyes and meets your e/c ones. “They’re so adorable. When she stares at me I swear my heart melts. I’m such a sucker.” You shake your head and giggle, thinking of the tender moments you’ve shared with the babies. Hazel looks up at you from under her eyelashes.

“Adorable?”

“I mean the babies.” You step away slightly. “Speaking of, I have to get their food ready. Today they’re trying peas for the first time. We are all very excited.”

“Thrilling. Well, I’m going to go upstairs. I have to be somewhere. It was nice meeting you.” She tips her head in salute and walks off.

“You too, Hazel.” You whisper.

She comes down as you are wiping mushy peas off the girls and their high chairs.

Wow. You’d never had a certain type, but Hazel was definitely it. She looked good in an oversized t shirt, vest, and nike sneakers. “Hey.” She rocks on her heels, almost looking scared to approach you.

“Oh! H-Hi. We just finished. This is about as clean as they will get if you want to come say hi. They don’t bite! They really can’t, yet, they’ve only got two teeth each. Isla did bite me once but that was only because she thought I was food!” Sensing you were over talking you pick up Sage and offer her the Hazel. The younger girl backs away, a concerned look on her face. “Oh, sorry! I forget not everyone is a baby person. You don’t have to hold her. She’s really good at sitting now! You can play in the living room while I get Isla cleaned up.”

“I’m good, but thank you. I have to meet my friends. I haven’t been back in a while. I don’t know when I’ll be home tonight but I told my mom I’m in town. See ya” She exits quickly.

Hazel POV

I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I don’t know why I can’t handle being around my sisters. I mean, I haven’t met a lot of babies, but I’ve never been scared of them. Maybe it isn’t them I’m scared of. I’ve stayed away from Rockbridge for a reason. Let my mom have her perfect little life without me in it. I don’t need her anyway. But that nanny is something. Hiring someone to live at your house? At MY house? God. Who knows what’s next on the divorcee-crisis list.

I pulled into the parking lot of Bottoms, the greatest and only queer bar in town. I could see my friends at their usual table inside. At least one thing was good about coming home.

“Hazel!” Isabel rushes to hug me, and I can tell a line is forming behind her. She kisses my cheek and tells me how much I’ve been missed. “You need to come back more often!”

“Yeah, it’s not like Amherst has anything to offer but snotty WASPS and fake deep classes.” PJ chimes in.

“Hey, Hazel’s doing great there! And don’t hate on Massachusetts, Emerson was your top choice.” Josie adds, defending me and our college towns.

I’m glad to see nothings changed.

After a couple of drinks, I decide to bring up the incident earlier today with my mom’s new nanny.

“Oh my god! Y/N? We love her! Why didn’t you invite her out? I can’t believe she thought you were an intruder. That’s so funny. I’m texting her right now.” Brittany whips out her phone and clicks away.

“Wait you guys know her? Like have her number and text her know her? How come no one’s told me about this!”

Josie answers first “Well to be fair when we met her we didn’t know she was their nanny, and you don’t really like to talk about your family so we didn’t bring it up.”

“Yeah Hazel we always want to respect you, especially since everything happened with your dad and then Jeff. Your mom has put you through a lot in the past” Isabel takes my hand and comforts me.

“Yeah that AND the fact that Y/N and I are totally gonna bone. She’s a lesbian, as we all are-“

“I’m still not gay, PJ.” Brittany interrupts. “And Isabel is Bi.”

“Anyway, AS I was saying, there’s totally tension there. It’s only a matter of time before we’re scissoring and run away together.”

“PJ, you barely talk to her, and she’s the only one who is as much of a bitch as you.” Brittany quips. “You get humbled every time Y/N opens her mouth.”

“I like a challenge, baby.” PJ blows Brittany a kiss and swigs her drink.

“Anyway it’s not like we only like Y/N because she works for your mom. She’s super nice. She’s 26 and has more life experience than all of us combined. It’s like she’s lived 30 lives. She’s so cool.” Josie says, changing the direction of conversation.

“Yeah, okay” I say “I’ll try to get to know her better while I’m here.” I think back to earlier in the day. Y/N looked so happy talking about Isla and Sage. I can’t be second place in another person’s life.

Y/N POV

Brittany has been texting you about Hazel since yesterday, trying to get you to come out with them tonight. So when she calls you on Saturday morning you immediately pick up.

“PLEASE babe it’ll be so much fun. You literally live in the same house as her, you can carpool! And Hazel doesn’t drink she can be your DD. I know you want to come out, just do it! You deserve a night out, pleeaaase”

“Okay okay fine. But I’m coming for you. It’s been like a week since we saw each other and I’m literally dying because of it.”

“YES oh my god - PJ SHES COMING!” You hear her yell off into their shared apartment.

“Tell her to wear something tight and short!” PJs voice is distant but clear.

“PJ says-“

“Yeah I heard. God she’s ridiculous. I’ll see you tonight. I don’t know if Hazel’s up yet but I’ll ask her to drive me”

#hazel callahan x reader #hazel callahan #bottoms movie #hazel bottoms

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psychelis-new · 2 years

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pick a pile: "Meeting The One"

take a breath and choose the photo/number that calls you the most to read about the possible signs, synchronicities or events that may occur to you when you meet or right before meeting your destined person (future spouse/partner, the last person you will fall in love with in this lifetime). I will try to channel some infos about the meeting itself (I haven't done it yet, so... just check your pile to see).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. Also, you're in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 - 2

3 - 4

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

There could be a party or celebration (could even be Christmas, NYE or anything), maybe a fair, or somewhere where there are food and fun things to do. Maybe even a concert or music/race event. Cotton candies, ice creams, or something like that can be relevant. You'll probably be enjoying with friends or family members, having lot of fun and feeling like a child again. There's the energy of going back to good days, feeling free and relieved, very calm. It's like you are in a place (mentally) where you know things can actually be good for you, and you're kinda in control of your fears and emotions. It could be at evening/night, with a very low light. But somehow you'll end up being noticed by your person: you may be doing/Saying something that kinda moves the attention of the closer crowd on you or simply, being destined, they can see you no matter how many people and low light you're surrounded by. You shine on your own to them. I think they may approach you and probably ask you to go with them (for some: maybe someone hits you unvoluntarily and your ice cream falls so your person will offer you to buy a new one, even if it wasn't their fault -maybe their friend's though-). You'll probably think if to follow them and separate from your friends/family (you may not trust their intentions immediately, but there are many people around), but you'll follow your heart. You're gonna know if you can trust them. I think your Guides will send you some kind of permission too (maybe you'll feel it, or see a bird or an angel number -very likely this last one- around, that you know it's your sign to trust this person). You may even end up dancing alone with them to some kind of music. This person seems fun.

songs: god's menu | stray kids; fade away | lucky daye

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pile 2

I feel it can happen on a cozy afternoon/evening. Maybe on the way back home from work/school. It could be sunny for some, rainy for others. The type of weather will only move the location of the meeting, you're gonna meet them anyway (e.g. if it's sunny you may meet while riding your bycicle in a park or enjoying the warm sun rays -maybe they're running in the same place or sitting on a bench nearby; if it's raining, you may meet up while finding shelter in a bar or public place, you're gonna smile at each other being soaked). You literally won't expect to meet them, maybe the day didn't start too well for some; for someone else instead, it's gonna be a moment in which things are starting to get better: even at work, you may have had some problems with colleagues, but that day things will suddenly turn for the good (you may have even gained a promotion out of nowhere). It's like this person, being in your energy, brings you good luck. And around your meeting you're gonna experience a shift for the best in your life: from mood, to work, to love as well with them appearing (but in relationships in general, even colleagues family and friends). You'll both literally manifest each other. Before meeting them, you may had doubts about your abilities, and felt lonely for a while as if your life was just a mess in all fields (career and love in particular, maybe friends/family too); you've probably tried to manifest your person for a while but life came in between and you almost lost your hopes. But your prayers will been noticed by your Guides and when you least expect (when the time will be right), you're gonna be given what you wish for (and they too -feels like mirror energy).

songs: show me the meaning of being lonely | backstreet boys; you're the one that i want (grease) | john travolta, olivia newton-john

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

I think this is the pile that may gets messages and signs through music, messages/words and images. Sometimes angel numbers too. Some of these signs may not be always clear, you need to be open to see them: sometimes you may not see them, especially when you feel upset and search for signs in the wrong places. You may see things like a waterdrop shaped as a heart, or something like that (like in your pic, near the donut... can you see the little heart?). You probably know that there's someone in contact with you on a higher level (maybe you have a telepathic connection too, or you just feel them around), that you are destined to meet this person and be with them, but sometimes you may get lost in your past thoughts. You may even kinda lose hope, fearing that they will never arrive or not find you. But they're your destined person, they'll find you anyway (the "how" is not your problem, you only need to trust). This fear/overthinking is delaying your meeting cause you're not open enough to being guided to (and by) your person. It seems you're gonna meet them the moment you'll learn how to keep a quiet mind, be yourself, be brave, and not be scared to see that things can actually change. You may even get a job offer around the same period (maybe even from your person). You will be aware of your power, despite still having doubts (those are normal, we're humans and we'll always have doubts here and there: the important thing is to not let them stop us and our dreams), you're gonna feel more confident in your skin. You're gonna be of help to others somehow (maybe being more socially involved, or with an idea/project or something), you'll bring happiness and share positivity around you, you'll act with love and this will bring your person in too. A new love for you. As easy as.

songs: yours to keep | jordan mackampa; come undone | duran duran

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

Could be near water (sea or ocean in particular but it doesn't have to be so), or could be around kids. Maybe one of you is baby sitting, or a teacher or just trying to be kind with a kid met in a park or on a metro... situations can be very different. You may feel moved by their kindness and cuteness and find yourself smiling at them. They may wink back at you, making you blush? You two... Okay this was very specific though. You or them, may make a bold move (maybe one of you can help/save a kid too), and... you probably had lost hopes about love, but this person will change it all, they will restore your faith in love and humanity. You are not supposed to know much more about signs and all, it seems like a gift and a big surprise for you. But know that you're gonna be guided to meet this person soon. Trust, even if you cannot see it, there's someone so loving for you, willing to do anything for you. They're gonna take care of your fears and anxiety as well (may be a doctor tbh, not just for kids, but maybe even a vet; or a conselour). They will help you be more in your power. They're gonna gift you so much self control and confidence. You are gonna be able to talk with them about anything really. I'm hearing "smooth" (from convo to skin.. your choice). They won't ever judge you, they just wanna help you and comfort you. They're gonna make you shine again. If you feel lost (or you gonna feel so before meeting them) and like there's no tomorrow, they'll help you rebuilt your hopes and fire inside. They literally gonna heal in you in any possible way (if ykwim -I'll keep this clean). Okay, it could also mean for some (seen the last song I got) that they're gonna be your... sugar daddy. And will want to spoil you. Again take as resonates. I feel a lot of you will choose this pile and things can really differ for each one of you.

songs: the flames beyond the cold mountain | mono; sugar daddy | qveen herby

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waddingham · 9 months

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was looking at some very old posts of mine and i just. when i finished s2 of ted lasso i was certain that a) ted would be going back to kansas and that b) ted and rebecca would not end up together on our screens. and i didn't have a problem with either of those things bc i was certain they'd be done with the same thoughtfulness that was present in s1 and most of s2. and i ended up being right about both things but so totally wrong about the execution of both??? yeah okay i hear you there was a three season arc, there was a plan, but wrt s3 you cannot convince me that plan consisted of anything that happened outside of "ted goes home". and even that decision felt shoved to the wayside.

i was dead certain that teds decision to go back was going to be informed by a deep exploration of ted and his past and his trauma and how the loss of his dad affects his own sense of fatherhood, that it was going to be ted's season entirely and would be as heart wrenching and uplifting as the rest of his story — so much so that by the time he decided he needed to go back, that we'd all be so on board. we'd all feel "oh of course he has to go back, look how much henry needs him and how much ted needs henry, how deep his fear of not being there for his son goes". why didn't we get that why did ted feel like a supporting character in his own show in his own SEASON why didn't the deeply traumatic event that informs almost all of ted as a character ever come up when it's so relevant to all of this why!!!! i need a 30 page essay from each of the ted lasso writers and a week long conference with js to explain it to me like im 5!!!!! am I stupid!!!

right anyway

when it comes to ted and rebecca i have less gripes but still am so baffled at the number of parallels drawn and connections made and support given to say "yes they're kind of intrinsically tied" for ZERO acknowledgement of it? which brings me back to the first point because that journey for ted could've leant itself so nicely to rebecca returning the kind of support to ted that he gave her? which in turn could've added a lovely extra layer to rebecca's story by seeing her find additional comfort and confidence in her own ability to support someone else and give love? it all could've woven together so neatly?? like??? am i stupid????? whether they ever hit the romance threshold or not (setting aside the fact of just how many and how often they tried to invoke rom coms but went "oh ew romance? no" when given a perfect opportunity to say something timeless but refreshing about second chance loves) continuing to see them grow together the way they had already accentuated through the whole rest of the show would've been more than enough for me personally. even if there was a heartbreaking parting it would've felt......earned? it would've felt right? just as fair to the viewer after absorbing all these things as it was to the story?

anyway......i feel like I'm missing something every time I think about it

#'get over it' you say. but i simply cant. the opportunities missed haunt me.#my thoughts have been tumbling my brain smooth so they have to be out. sorry #ted lasso negative perhaps ?#also like. i didnt want to get into it too but the way they did roy and jamie will never leave my brain like.#they said 'men cant unlearn misogyny' with their whole chest huh? thats the note they wanted to leave us on?

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campbyler · 2 months

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just read chap 9.1 for the third time already, I AM VERY MUCH NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS

so lets go, time for thoughts

LITERALLY DEAD PLEASE THE HAND DOWN THE STAIRS IS ONE OF MY FAV SMALL MOMENTS YET. MIKE WHEELER will’s heart is IM COMING FOR YOU!

THE HAND HOLDING IN GENERAL IN THIS CHAP!!?!?!!?? WALKING DOWN THE STREET AND IT’S KIND OF NICE KNDKSKXKXK.

MIKE PAYING FOR WILL??? I LOVE THEIR DATE THAT ISNT A DATE BUT IS DEFINITELY A DATE BUT THEY’RE JUST NOT AWARE OF IT

sure keep being in denial guys…

yeppp you def made will autistic again thea and so true

ALSO THE CASUAL AFFECTION IN PUBLIC THEY’RE SO IN LOVE

MIKE TAKING HIS FACE IN HIS HANDS IN THE MID OF A COFFEE SHOP “Let me do something nice for you” AND THEN KISSING HIM SOMEONE RUN ME OVER WITH A TRUCK I CANT HANDLE THIS

YOU KNOW WHAT, BETTER THAT I DONT GET INTO THE THRIFT STORE PART CUZ THIS WOULD BE WAY WAY WAY TOO LONG BUT THE GOD DAMN GRAVITY PART I GIGGLED KICKED MY FEET AND DEFINITELY CRACKED MY PAINFULLY DRY LIPS FROM TOO MUCH SMILING!!

THE MUSTANG!! okay honestly this hit very close to home cuz i have a very similar situation with my dad (a lawyer ofc) and his “EvErYtHiNg i PaYeD fOr iS miNe” sooo i fully get it and it felt nice having it explained so well.

OKAY IF WILL BYERS GETS BEHIND THAT WHEEL IM LITERALLY SCREAMING

ALSO IF IT HAPPENS THAT WILL ENDS UP DRIVING BACK (i rlly dont know what the US laws are for driving manual if u have an automatic license, but considering u guys let 16 year olds behind a wheel without at least a few months of driving school with a qualified instructor, im guessing not strict lmao) AND THE GANG SEES HIM IN THAT MUSTANG THAT WOULD BE HILARIOUS

also rip his dignity, but it’s already kinda gone so i wouldnt be surprised kskdkskd

ANYWAY AMAZING HALF A CHAPTER THEA I LOVED IT

RIS DON'T MIND ME ANSWERING THIS JUST NOWWWW LOL...

the hand down the stairs moment makes me 🥺 i would personally pass away if that happened to me so the fact that will is still standing is insane. he is so brave. princess treatment fr <3

will is so clueless to not clock the fact that this was a date until the end of 9.2 like girl. be so fucking fr. that said he Is autistic (me coded) so i think we can allow him to live!! just this one time tho!!

i am glad that you ended up #living and #surviving for 9.2 considering your reaction to 9.1....so sorry that i took so long to respond to this that your predictions/speculations are no longer relevant BUT ty for the monster comment and for the love!! i am glad you enjoyed ch09 as a whole!!

#asks #ch09 #acswy spoilers

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limbus-limousine · 4 months

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Do you have design takes on Kromer, Knauer, Alfons, and Frau Eva. I'm dying to know

Okay first and foremost I apologize because this kind of turned into an essay but like❤️

When it comes to Knauer and Alfons, honestly, I don't have much of a mental image???I have aphantasia, so it's hard for me to imagine appearances from only text and usually stick to specific representations of them, limbus designs are like super ingrained in my mind but I do think of their book descs aswell. Mostly I'd say Knauer would be physically similar to Sinclair to some degree, but their main differences lay on face, eye shape and such. I usually draw Sinclair with round shapes, but then roughen him around the edges a bit (I make his eyes sharper, hands calloused etc). Knauer would look more soggy i think

About Kromer, I always try to make her look bulkier in a way?? Blocky and spiky at the same time if you will. I also love making her sclera a dark greenish hue, it makes her look like an animal being hit by camera flash a bit... I also lean more into her limbus character because I love how much more relevant she feels, I at least try to portray her in a slightly animalistic, scary way, in contrast to Demian with whom I also lean towards animalistic, but more like, sly??? If that makes sense, fox/snake like. Kromer to me is more feline (cat hunts bird uhu) but also insectoid, to represent that while she is scary and such, she lacks Demian's sly mystique and intelligence (in other words, the mark)

As for Eva, I imagine her very similar to Demian (obviously) although in my mind, both of them aren't super defined, the lines are blurry. I think I mentioned this before, but they feel to me like some kind of cryptid. I boost the "creepy/scary" aspect for them a lot, I think because I deeply resonate with Sinclair's more abstract view of love, it reads to me like he finds beauty in the grotesque, and I want to interpret that as nonchalance and even appreciation to something that is outwardly scary. Also going to the whole star symbolism... God, space is scary, but ohh is it beautiful as well.

It doesn't feel completely right to portray them as people sometimes tbh. They are more like masses of light and energy floating around to me. Demian to me represents camaraderie, guidance and a more childish (but still profound) love, while Eva leans more toward the whole mothery love thing, maturity, home, safety. But they are like, two ends of a spectrum?? Sometimes it will be an in-between of those shapes of love and feeling, is it Max or Eva?? Doesn't really matter, they give of the same light, same star... This is why I portray Demian differently as well, sometimes I will make his hair longer, face a bit older looking, etc.

IM SORRY this is really rambly and super long auughgg😭 I'm not very clear with specific design aspects but the way I see them psychologically really influences how I draw them... Thanks for the ask anyways!!! I love talking about these freaks mannn

#answered #project moon #limbus company #rambling #demian (1919)#my art

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simpforanyanimeguywithdarkhair · 2 years

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THIRD TIMES THE CHARM

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

#Genre: Fluff

#Includes: Miya Atsumu x Fem Reader ft. Osamu Miya

#Description: Miya Atsumu just can't seem to get you out of his head after first laying eyes on you but asking you out proves to be rather difficult.

#WC: 2.1K

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

[17:45]

The hustling and bustling of Ongiri Miya is drowned out by the music flowing through your headphones. You keep your head down and gaze centred on the laptop in front of you, making the final touches to your internship application that you had been spending the past few hours perfecting. You desperately needed and wanted the position you were currently applying for as it would give you the relevant experience while also looking very attractive on a CV for potential employers. Ongiri Miya was your go to study spot – it was the perfect atmosphere to get your work done, a nice welcoming environment that wasn’t too loud or quite (unlike the library that was eerily silent) and you found yourself the most productive there, plus the food was to die for.

The ringing of the door that signals there’s a new customer falls on deaf ears as you go over the words written on the screen that are starting to blur together the longer you stare at them. You double check the email you’re supposed to send the application to and before you can hit send you sense a presence beside you. You briefly glance up and are met with a towering figure who seems to be talking a mile an hour and you can’t tell if the redness creeping up his cheeks is from a lack of air or nervousness. Coming to the realisation (unlike him) that you can’t hear him due to the headphones still firmly planted on your head, you move one cushion aside and catch the end of his sentence “…if that’s okay with ya, totally fine if it isn’t and I mean it! Its totally okay to say no!” he ends his speal with a shy smile.

You both stare at each other in awkward silence for a beat before you open your mouth “I’m so sorry but what were you saying?”. He blinks a few times before proceeding to open his mouth and promptly shut it, rushing out his next words “nothin, sorry to bother ya”, you’re met with the back of his head as he spins on his heels and speed walks out the restaurant. You continue to stare at the space his bleach blond hair used to occupy, and it takes a minute to gather your thoughts, tilting your head in confusion at the whole interaction and worrying over if you offended the strange yet handsome man somehow, you were genuinely curious at what he had to say. You shake your head, dispelling those thoughts, you had enough to worry about and with that you hit send to the email you were previously working on and gathering your belongings to head home.

[17:50] – ATSUMU

The ringing bell signals his presence as he opens the door to the place he’s at more often than his own home. He looks around for his brother that’s absent from the behind the counter and instead of catching sight of him, he sees something much better – you. He can’t seem to drag his eyes off you as he reflexively walks to the counter, his gaze not once straying from your pretty face. He doesn’t think someone’s presence has made his heart stutter and knees wobbly like yours just unconsciously has and he hasn’t even talked to you yet. His brother makes his way from the back, brow raised as he follows his line of sight, smacking him upside the head to get his attention “Its rude to stare ya creep” “I wasn’t starin, I was admirin!” he weakly defends. “Anyway, who’s the girl?” he wastes no time asking, “Ya mean the one ya were droolin over?”, Atsumu doesn’t bother denying that because he might as well have been, “Either way, how should a know, what a can tell ya is that she’s a regular – here every week same time”. He makes sure to store that piece of information for later because he has a feeling he’ll need it. Now that he knows Osamu’s useless and can’t give him any more information, he starts to walk up to you – starting of with a confident stride that slowly turns into hesitant baby steps the closer he gets to you.

Now that’s he’s closer to you, he can make out your pretty lashes that flutter every time your eyes move across the screen and plump lips that your teeth are currently gnawing on. He feels his heart pick up the pace and hands slowly start to sweat and before he can even get your attention his stupid mouth opens, and the words just start spewing. His brain screams at him to stop because he knows you can’t hear him because of your headphones, yet his mouth seems to be on a different wavelength as he continues his word vomit that even he knows makes no sense.

He thinks he could die just there as you glance up at him with confusion displayed on your face and he knows you can see the blush spreading across his face. If his previous rambling didn’t make him want to die, he definitely wants to drop dead now after hearing the words that come from your mouth. However, all of a sudden, his mindless mouth is silent and doesn’t know what to say and his brain just so happens to have shut down and he thinks its probably some fight or flight bullshit and his brain has chosen flight like the coward it is because not a single coherent thought is present. So, he says the only thing that can get him to quickly escape the situation he’s created because he’s 99% sure he can hear his asshole brother cackling in the background and just like his coward brain he chooses flight and briskly walks away before he can see your reaction.

“Idiot, idiot, idiot” he chants under his breath as he walks away, head lowered in shame. Where had the once smooth Atsumu gone, he has never had any trouble talking to girls, throwing sly winks and flirtatious smirks was second nature to him yet stood before you he suddenly turned into a fucking virgin. There’s no way he was living this down (he knows Osamu’s not going to let him forget) but now he knows for sure he has to try to ask you out again, if not for his bruised ego but because you were clearly special if you had him stumbling over his words and doing the walk of shame out of his brothers’ restaurant.

[18:30] – The following week

He had been waiting for over an hour now and you were a no show, your usual spot sat empty, and he was starting to get strange looks. Knees rapidly bouncing and eyes darting to the door every time he heard it jingle but was met with a face that wasn’t yours had disappointment shooting through him and the rational part of his brain was trying to convince him it wasn’t because of him and the situation last week that had you avoiding Ongiri Miya like the plague. He had heard from Osamu a few minutes prior that you hadn’t stepped in since last week, yet he still held onto the sliver of hope that you may pop in today – the same day and time as last week. Yet as the minutes ticked by and people filtered in and out of the doors, you had yet to make an appearance and he felt himself quickly slumping in his chair and thinking he might as well give up, it was a long shot anyway and he doubts you want anything to do with him after that embarrassing display he put on last week.

While the angel on his right shoulder tells him not to give up and tries to convince him that you may have found his bashful confession endearing, the devil on his left shoulder berates him for even thinking that. It convinces him that he’s so self-absorbed to think that he’s even playing on your mind, why would a pretty little thing like you waste even a millisecond thinking about him? You probably wiped his existence from your mind the second he walked out the door. “Can ya leave now, yer scaring away ma customers” his brothers voice comes from behind him. He debates whether to wait a few more minutes just in case but he knows better and he’s starting to feel a little pathetic, so he gives Osamu a solemn nod before picking himself up and dragging himself out the door.

The best thing for him to do now was to just forget about you because he’s uncertain about if he’s ever going to see you again. However, that’s easier said than done because you’ve been playing on his mind the moment he saw you and everyday after that, multiple what if questions infest his mind every day and night and he makes up scenarios of what he would do if he did see you again.

[9:28]

The past few weeks have been hectic with university and your internship application being accepted which resulted in interviews, workshops and getting to know the people who are going to be supervising you. While it was fun it was also extremely nerve wracking as you were going to be working at a big company with some very important athletes that you are going to meet very shortly. You wash your sweaty hands and brush away any fly aways to ensure you look the utmost professional and for some reason your brain thinks it’s the perfect time to draw your attention back to the unexpected encounter you had a few weeks ago at a certain restaurant. The situation had been playing on your mind for a while now and while at first it was confusing and albeit awkward it now brings a smile to your face and has you chuckling. You slowly started to find the unnamed stranger endearing and dare you say…cute. You hadn’t really had the time the process how he looked and what he was saying but after a few recollections of the memory you found yourself smiling at the whole ordeal and your curiosity piqued at what he was asking you about. Unfortunately, you hadn’t had the time to go back to Ongiri Miya with how busy you were, and you were certain he probably wouldn’t have even been there with how quickly he had ran out, you doubt he’d even be able to face you if you saw him again.

Deciding that you looked presentable enough, you walked out of the bathrooms and into the gymnasium where the coach and managers stood and took your place beside them. You anxiously twiddled your thumbs as you waited for the players to emerge from the locker rooms and during this time one of the coaches started to make conversation. You talked about what university you attend and your hopes for the future as the athletes made their way into the gymnasium and you could see them gather together from your peripheral. As you wrapped up your conversation you could sense a pair of eyes on you – not just looking but staring intensely.

You turned to the small crowd gathered in front of you and swept your eyes over them as the coaches introduced you and the plan for today, nothing seemed out of the ordinary until your eyes flickered back to a familiar mop of blond hair and a pair of brown eyes stared back at you in shock. You were sure you sported the same expression as you took in the MSBY uniform the cute stranger adorned and quickly shook yourself out of those thoughts as you shot the rest of the team a friendly smile. After the coaches finished their speech, the players started to disperse yet one made their way towards you with a soft smile.

“Hi, I’m Miya Atsumu, I never got to introduce myself before” he shyly chuckles out and once again there’s a rosy tint to his cheeks. “Miya? As in…” “Ahaha yeah, ma brother owns it” you stare at him in shock for a few seconds “I’m such an idiot, no wonder you looked familiar” “if anyone’s an idiot it would be me” he cringes in embarrassment, and you can feel yourself smile at the sight. “Well why don’t we start again, I’m L/N F/N nice to officially meet you” you hold your hand out and he wastes no time in softly grasping it and shaking it. You find yourself missing the comforting warmth of his calloused hand as he takes it away and you both just stare at each other in silence for a few seconds before he coughs out “I was asking ya out” “huh?” “That day ya know, I was asking ya out on a date” he mumbles, and it takes all your effort to bite back a cheesy grin because he really was too cute for his own good, “Well then Miya Atsumu, I think you owe me a date”

♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡

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grapenehifics · 5 months

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Not to tell you about *every* time I hear Solsbury Hill on the radio but…

Can you tell us why you picked it as the title for your fic? I feel there’s more to your reasoning than “grab your things I’ve come to take you home” and I’d love to hear your thoughts [it’s also maybe pretty obvious(?) but I’m really, really shit at 1) song lyrics 2) song meanings and 3) applying them to other contexts 🙈]

My friend, there is almost nothing I would rather talk about than the intersection between Peter Gabriel*, Genesis, Solsbury Hill the place, Solsbury Hill the song, and Solsbury Hill the fic.

(*Peter Gabriel, and all the members of Genesis, are real people, and would probably tell this story very differently. But they're not here to correct me [oh god, at least, I hope not], and this is how I heard the story, and I am going to tell it the way I know it. Apologies to all those living or dead.)

Sometime in the late 1960s a group of British schoolboys formed the prog rock band Genesis, and by the early 1970s they were...maybe not world-famous, but huge by prog rock standards, anyway, with a couple of albums and a tour. The Lamb Lies Down on Broadway came out and it was a big enough deal that they got offered an American tour, too.

They were all still pretty young (they'd started basically in high school) and Peter Gabriel, their lead singer and main songwriter, had recently got married and he and his wife had a baby (this will become relevant in a second). So they go on the American tour and maybe about halfway through Peter turns to his bandmates and is like, "so...I'll finish the tour with you, because I promised I would, but when we get back home I'm quitting the band."

The other guys were stunned, obviously, because this was the moment they'd worked for. They'd already gotten through all the shitty garage band years, which is where most people give up, and now they were at the good part! They were on an international tour! The money was good! Their albums were selling! They had more fans than they'd ever thought they'd have! What on earth would possess someone to want to give all that up?

(The part of this story that is less-charitable to Peter Gabriel is that one of the answers he gave was 'more creative freedom' and his band was like...but you already write all our songs? What possible *more* creative freedom do you think you need?)

It wasn't just the band, though. His managers and the record company and everyone all told him that was a terrible, terrible idea, and there were a sizable contingent of Genesis fans who just refused to follow him to his solo career because they were mad at him for walking out on Genesis, wrecking the band, how dare he be so ungrateful...

(Genesis did fine without him, actually. Phil Collins took over on vocals and they had another couple of albums and some hit songs before going kind of weirdly soft-rock in the 80s.)

Also - and this is an important detail - when he left the band, there was no solo career. He didn't have any songs. I don't think he even had an agent. He was kind of on the outs with the industry for pulling that stunt. He spent the first year after he quit - while Genesis was recording a new album without him - just hanging out at home with his wife and baby daughter.

Eventually he did get back in the studio, and one of the songs on his first solo album was Solsbury Hill, largely regarded to be the most autobiographical of his songs (Solsbury Hill is an actual, physical hill in Somerset, near where he grew up). It's pretty blatantly about quitting Genesis, including being unhappy in the band:

So I went from day to day Though my life was in a rut

I was feeling part of the scenery

And liberty, she pirouette When I think that I am free

and trying to get up the courage to leave even knowing it would almost universally be regarded as a really dumb move and would very possibly end his entire music career even though he was still in his twenties:

My friends would think I was a nut Open doors would soon be shut

But eventually doing it anyway:

To keep in silence I resigned

I walked right out of the machinery

I will show another me

Then he writes about how, even though it was scary and he didn't know what the consequences were going to be, he was glad he did it:

Though my life was in a rut 'Til I thought of what I'd say Which connection I should cut

Today I don't need a replacement I'll tell them what the smile on my face meant

And he personifies all this as a person, or more accurately hearing a voice (while climbing Solsbury Hill, hence the title), and the progression of what the voice tells him mirrors the rest of the lyrics. First it's:

"Son, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

and

"Hey, " he said "Grab your things, I've come to take you home."

But the final lines are the singer answering back:

"Hey, " I said "You can keep my things, they've come to take me home."

And not to belabor the metaphor, but that's what I see as the equivalent of the first quarter or so of Solsbury Hill the fic, at least the beginning to the Bakersfield hospital chapters. Peter Gabriel and Anakin both got the exact thing they thought they wanted - a record deal, a tour, money, fame, wealth - and then turned out once they had it, they actually didn't really want it all that much anymore, and the reality of it wasn't worth keeping it.

But also mixed in there is some shame, right, because to everyone else it looks like you have it all. Every kid around the world with a guitar and a garage bands wants what you have. Every kid on their school swim team watching the Olympics on TV wants that. And now you've got it, and you're just...going to hand it back? Say it's not good enough? This thing that feeds your family and lets you see the world? How dare you spit on that!

But all they really want - in both stories - is more time with the people they love. And yes, in both cases, there are ways to fix that - Peter Gabriel could have taken his wife and baby with him on tour, Anakin could have not fired Obi-Wan and taken up with Palpatine - but in the middle of that situation and looking down the barrel of year after year of touring and competition and the toll it takes on your body and your mental health - suddenly the smart play starts looking like turning you back on it, tearing the whole thing down, and starting over. Even if it means living without the money and the fame and the recognition and universal goodwill. Who cares. Keep it all. Keep my things; I don't need them; I just need you.

I'm going home.

#solsbury hill

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starry-mist · 3 months

Text

S5e15 and s5e16 thoughts:

Obviously I need to do these ones together. I'm also going to try to do this as sort of a review rather than general thoughts...it's my first time trying this so be nice, LOL.

I have a few thoughts before I jump into the episodes.

One of the main reasons (other than the obvious one of having these additional characters with their own storyline that initially seems separate from what the series regulars are doing) that this initially felt like a backdoor pilot is because one of the titular characters is noticeably absent. And we know this was because John and Meghan were expecting their third child to be born right around the time this was scheduled to film, so he wasn't available. I'm not saying it couldn't still be a backdoor pilot, but I think it's unlikely for the moment.

The story we got was very different from the original synopsis in the article about the Ontario government funding production in Northern Ontario (https://www.nugget.ca/news/five-film-tv-productions-receive-funding) which again, is likely because John was unavailable so they launched Sarah and Jesse into the spotlight for this one.

I know Jesse fans have a lot of feelings about his glasses, and I agree that the explanation for why he no longer wears them is pretty weak. Fans of this show do have a tendency to fixate on changes in character appearances (see also: much controversy on Facebook about Charlie's season 6 hair.) Anyway, characters evolve, people change, I'm just going to leave it at that. Maybe Justin was just sick of wearing them.

Without further ado:

We open with a lovely aerial shot of “Webster Bay,” which I’m sure is 100% a real place and totally not North Bay, Ontario. (It's absolutely not a real place.) A couple is having a romantic moment by the side of the road. Very sweet. Until it turns out the man is there to rob the house across the street. That's...perhaps a little less sweet.

The home invasion/robbery hits a little snag when the homeowner is, well, home, and goes at the would-be robber with a sizeable pair of scissors. He accidentally knocks her out trying to disarm her, and it's time for the happy couple to GTFO.

Roll credits.

Back in St. John's, the Major Crimes team has ordered lunch. Jesse gets an ominous phone call from his previously-never-mentioned sister.

It's the season of new family members coming out of the woodwork. Sigh.

Anyway, Jesse's sister is in Northern Ontario, as far as he knows (which is apparently where they both grew up...look I'm just going to keep rolling my eyes at all of these things that could have been mentioned IN FOUR PREVIOUS SEASONS) and is in trouble. Come quick. No cops. Doesn't sound sketchy at all...

Jesse's ready to go to her rescue, but Charlie doesn't think he should go alone.

Sarah: You want to go with him?

Charlie: I was thinking you. And Rex.

(Yeah, remember those establishing moments I mentioned in the previous two episodes? Those are now relevant.)

Apparently Charlie has some important stuff he has to take care of.

(Please remind me I need to someday write a fic about Charlie’s guilt at sending the trio into harms way.)

This whole scene is a little forced, IMHO, but anyway, off they go.

Cut to Ontario, where we now have MEGAN FREAKING FOLLOWS, OMG, BE STILL MY ANNE OF GREEN GABLES-LOVING HEART. At this point, I should note that I do love these fleshed-out original characters and their stories, which initially feel strange given we've never seen them before, but will make sense later.

(Pause for my usual commentary of same actor, different character: Cihang Ma previously played Holly in s3’s Seeing is Deceiving. Here they play Detective Kai Huang, and let me just express my appreciation for a non-binary actor playing a non-binary role.)

Anyway, Detective Anne of Green Gables Sidney Scott is on scene and having flashbacks. It looks like she lost someone close to her. Kai thinks the people who broke in were addicts. Sidney has other ideas. She talks to the victim's husband, Tim Cooper, who apparently worked with her husband as well. But she makes it clear that she's definitely off work and totally not on the case.

Right...

Back to St. John’s, Charlie is having someone dig up Constable Charlie Hudson’s incident reports from October 30, 2009. Okay first off, I would have appreciated some flashbacks to a younger Charlie, but I don't always get what I want (rarely, in fact.) And we find out that Charlie is investigating his "white whale" of a child abduction case that has haunted him for 14 years, which has of course been foreshadowed in prior seasons because this show is so amazing at continuity. /s

Cut to Charlie's house, with him taping up a makeshift "murder board" on the wall. My dude, you're going to need to repaint...

Meanwhile in Ontario, we have lovely wide shots of fall colours. So pretty. We also have rapid-fire voiceover exposition from Sarah and Jesse on their arrival, where they're going, how long it's taken them to get there, and honestly, this is yet another of those "show, don't tell" moments that this show struggles with.

The trio arrive at “an old Cold War missile site” where Jesse and Crystal came when they were kids, riding their bikes down from his uncle’s place. Questions abound about who actually raised Jesse, who has mentioned his mom (in a throwaway line in s2) and a deceased father. Now there was apparently an uncle? Okay we'll go with it. Anyway, Jesse and Crystal used to hang out here and build camps in abandoned buildings.

Sarah and Rex are the third wheels (actually fourth and fifth, I suppose) in the Jesse/Crystal/random sketchy boyfriend scene as they head into an abandoned hangar. Sketchy boyfriend (who has a name that I'm not bothering to look it up given he won't be around that long) wants to know if these new additions are cool.

Sarah: Dr. Sarah Truong, hi. We’re cool.

(I don't know why I find that line so amusing.)

Rex senses danger. Looks like it's time to GTFO of the hangar.

This is where I point out that two of these characters are weapons-trained cops, one of whom we have seen is basically a sharpshooter…And none of this apparently matters as neither of them have a weapon on hand that they can use. Oops.

Going to have to suspend disbelief at the fact that the sniper can instantly kill the bf, shoot out the tires on Sarah and Jesse's rental car (that's going to be a hefty repair bill,) but then they're all just able to run out in the open and magically escape…right.

This is pretty elaborate for a scene that is essentially just a setup for the plane crash.

Sidney Scott visits a man named Elvis Migwan outside the local hospital. We learn that there is a local Indigenous community whose water has apparently been affected by runoff from a mining operation. Elvis's daughter is sick. And this is a really relevant topic given how many Indigenous communities in Canada lack access to clean water.

Back to the airfield, and I'm just going to speculate that they blew the budget on this next scene and on the plane crash.

Apparently flight simulator games have taught Jesse enough that he can figure out how to fly a plane...again, suspending disbelief. The team take to the skies and are promptly shot down by the sniper, as my anxiety begins to ratchet up.

The remote lake where they crash would be a pretty place to camp in any other circumstance.

Anne of Green Gables Sidney has a nice, large house. It's actually pretty big for one person. Hey, Sidney has that in common with Charlie. They should hang out. Inspector Yousef Ali stops by and brings Sidney dinner. It's a salad. She's displeased. I start to ship them.

Charlie and Joe have a scene at Charlie’s house and it's just not working for me. I can't help it. The whole Alison case appearing out of the blue feels forced.

(However, Joe is totally checking out the new, shall we say, feminine touches in Charlie’s house.)

At the crash site, Jesse manages to smash open his door when there were two perfectly good open ones on the other side of the plane, because reasons? Crystal’s wrist is probably broken, Jesse’s got some cracked ribs…but at least they have a doctor with them who’s totally in one piece and definitely not injured.

Sarah asks for a first aid kit, presumably to do, you know, actual first aid...oh wait, no, instead she scribbles some notes on a piece of paper, which she rolls into a little case that she attaches to Rex's collar. With a tearful hug, she sends Rex off into the wilderness.

Cue “The Littlest Hobo” theme.

Rex wanders the woods.

Sidney Scott decides to go back to work.

Back at the crash site, we find out Crystal’s a pretty big screwup, and Jesse chastises her for her messing up her life. Not super helpful at the moment, Jesse.

Sarah starts to look disoriented and possibly in pain. This is going to get worse before it gets better.

Rex encounters some sort of bird of prey (I think it's a hawk, but I'm not an expert.) No worries, he'll just hide under a bridge for a moment.

Another "same actor different character" moment: the actor playing Bertrand Boyle previously appeared as Tucker Moore in s4’s No Man is an Island.

Rex is under a sky full of stars, which I'm sure he'd pause to appreciate if there weren't a pack of wolves nearby. I believe I read somewhere that Sherri Davis who trains the dogs actually trained all the animals that appeared in this one. I’m in awe of her talent.

Morning at the crash site. Crystal is about to peace out. Jesse talks her into staying. And Sarah wakes up in rough shape.

And here is where I state that Mayko Nguyen is the best actor on this show, fight me. She completely nailed that subtle shift when Sarah realizes that she's injured, and more seriously than she initially thought.

(Side note: I love that Mayko is wearing her trademark huge puffy warm coat. She is apparently always cold.)

So anyway, Sarah has realized that she's bleeding internally, and tells Jesse that he'll need to operate.

Right…

Sarah: You can do anything you put your mind to, Jesse Mills. You just flew a plane!

I really hope they submitted this episode for this year's Canadian Screen Awards.

On his continued trek through the wilderness, Rex encounters the most fearsome of woodland creatures: a skunk. Oh no! What if he ends up smelly?!! Anyway, Rex wins the territorial battle, and over the log bridge he goes.

Oh look, an owl.

So many critters.

There's a road! And with a short swim, Rex has officially made it back to civilization where he is promptly picked up by some sinister characters in a truck.

I'm not going into the gory details of Jesse doing field surgery on Sarah, because I still find it hard to watch, but anyway, give Mayko an Emmy. Hell, give her an Oscar. Give her all the things.

...right now, because I’m not watching these separately.

Ugh. Field surgery. I feel very much the same way as Jesse does when it comes to blood.

Cut to the Ontario Police Service (or whatever they’re calling their version of Ontario Provincial Police) HQ building, which I’m pretty sure is part of Nipissing University, as is the “hospital” we see later.

Detective Scott, meet Rex. He'll keep you on your toes.

See you later, sketchbags in the pickup truck. Nobody messes with our boy Rex.

Oh hey, it’s Charlie Hudson. Kind of forgot about that guy for a moment. Anyway Charlie and Joe get a call from Sidney about the plane crash. Charlie holds back...really any emotion whatsoever.

Sidney! Rex! Helicopter!

Sidney sends Charlie a photo of the note that Rex brought her, and Charlie recognizes Sarah’s handwriting. Joe tries to be reassuring. Okay, now they're showing a little bit of worry at the unknown fate of their friends.

Sarah is now semi-conscious and making last requests.

Sarah: If I don’t make it you have to find Rex…tell Charlie…

Jesse: No, you’re gonna tell him yourself…

Me: Tell him what, exactly? Because you've been a couple more than long enough that I refuse to believe there have been no "I love yous" exchanged, even if we've yet to see it said on screen.

Anyway Sarah passes back out, while I continue to hyperventilate.

Cut to St. John's. Charlie feels guilty for not going. Joe steers him back into his B plot. It still feels forced.

Sidney chatting "with" Rex as he leads her through the woods cracks me up.

At the crash site, Sarah wakes up feverish. She knows she probably an infection. So she should totally drink the unfiltered lake water Crystal brings her, because what’s a little E. coli going to do? Anyway apparently it’s all good as long as the paramedics push IV antibiotics…whatever. Sidney and Rex of course arrive at exactly the right time!

Rex lays protectively on his “mom.”

And the look Sidney gives Crystal tells us her shit is officially about to hit the fan.

Jesse has a phone call with Joe and Charlie to fill them in on all the nitty-gritty. Charlie wants to talk to Sarah, who is now in actual surgery. Jesse goes to check on his sister, who is now under arrest.

Crystal: I just watched my boyfriend get shot and killed and was pretty sure we were all gonna die in a plane crash. It’s been a lot.

Sarah Swire's deadpan delivery of the above lines is just so good.

Sidney questions Crystal, and it become clear that she definitely has a personal stake in this. Crystal swears there was no gun at the house her boyfriend robbed. She wants Jesse to cover for her by taking the backpack full of money, which of course he does. For now.

Sidney: Are you here as a cop or a brother?

Jesse: I have to be both.

Rex wants to help Sidney track the shooter. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship!

In Sarah's hospital room, she's sitting up in bed and talking to Charlie, albeit briefly. That conversation should have been longer and more emotional.

Tracking the shooter leads to more amusing Sidney and Rex "conversation." They find the type of gun that was used to kill Sidney’s husband. Suddenly Sidney's personal stake in the case makes sense.

Jesse and Sarah chat in her hospital room where she's looking pretty well recovered considering she just had two abdominal surgeries...and then she’s up and at it looking over forensics with Kai. It turns out Kai had the wrong time of death.

Joe reassures Charlie, who is feeling stuck on the Alison case, that he’s a great cop, great detective, blah blah. Says he needs to figure out how to move on so he can be ready for the next people who need his help. So clearly we’re done with this case and it definitely won’t reappear in a future episode...*eyes the next episode on the list*

The totally-not-the-shooter guy whose name I can’t be bothered to learn thinks Sidney’s husband would want her to move on and enjoy the life she has left. Okay then.

It seems that Crystal did in fact know that there would be money in the house. Also she knows about the contaminated runoff situation from the mine. Working as a cleaner, she managed to overhear all kinds of things, and through creative use of french fries, casually explains to Jesse how the mine’s money laundering scheme worked.

Incoming sniper. Again. Rex attempts a takedown but the sniper nearly runs him over with his car. Well, at least they should have a license plate now, assuming Jesse can actually see it without his glasses.

Seeing that it's time to come clean, the Mills siblings take the backpack full of money to Sidney. Crystal reveals how she knew the money was at the Cooper house by basically rehashing everything she just told Jesse. And maintains that her brush with law-breaking was "just one time."

Jesse to Crystal: Rex is really disappointed in you.

Sidney goes back to Elvis Migwan and asks how he knew about the mine runoff. And we now know that her husband faked the reports that said the water was clean.

Back at home, Sidney rips down her wall murder board. She's coming to terms with who her husband really was. He was killed in order to keep him quiet, but he knew a lot more than he let on.

Sidney goes off to question Tim Cooper, who is the actual mastermind behind all of this. Inspector Ali tells her she needs backup. It looks like she rolls up with just Rex, who stays in the car.

Sniper dude is on the scene. Oh, apparently his name is Wayne.

Rex takes him down.

Sidney gets a confession from Cooper.

And the rest of the backup team comes out of hiding.

Sidney, needing to make amends, takes a USB with proof of the falsified mine records to Elvis Migwan. It's everything he will need for his lawsuit against the mining company.

Jesse and Crystal chat as he is ready to head back home. Maybe she'll visit St. John's someday. (Here’s hoping.)

Sid puts away a photo of her and her husband. Ali shows up. Sidney tells him she's planning to sell the house, and that she doesn’t like salad. He's brought her a burger this time.

Could be love.

Sidney swears she's getting groceries tomorrow, and will be back at work on Monday. She's picking up the pieces. She also wants to choose her own partner. Say hello to Little Rex.

Sarah, Jesse and Rex head for the plane.

Jesse: You know, second time's the charm flying the plane.

Sarah: Too soon!

Charlie pulls the pictures of Alison off his wall. He's letting it go.

The door opens, and we get probably my favourite Charah scene ever. The clinging hug. The concern for each other. The intimacy of their foreheads pressed together as they gently sway.

Swoon.

Best episodes ever.

#hudson & rex #charah #charlie hudson x sarah truong #damn this got long #thanks for reading

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