#anyway i'm just saying things

[godofsmallthings]

sorry yeah, I wasn't trolling that's why I said it was gonna be out of left field, but your explanation does help. I know it's cross-dressing and it's a performance, I just didn't really get the "why" behind it, (if it helps I also don't get why eminem needed to create slim shady at all) if that makes sense, and I figured I could ask you because I've seen some of your posts about drag queens. And thank you, I really appreciate it!

no problem!! i honestly don't feel like i'm the best person to give a nuanced answer here for the 'why' because i don't do drag and an embarrassing amount of my knowledge about it comes from rupaul's drag race (which is a starting point, but nowhere near the only/most true iteration of drag culture). if you want to learn more, i'd recommend the documentary paris is burning (1990) (it's pretty short!) which talks about the nyc ball scene and has a lot of really great interviews

#it's really interesting because the current iteration of mainstream drag is like. this capitalized-upon version of this counterculture. #and on one hand it's heartening to think that there's enough acceptance for drag to be profitable but on the other...it does feel like a lo #of the heart and teeth behind it are being lost #but i think that's true of any counterculture that gains mainstream interest #anyway i'm just saying things #ask

[cozylittleartblog]

"content creator" is a corporate word.

we are artists.

#anti ai #fuck ai #artists on tumblr #please do not call me or any artist a content creator #i'm an artist. a fanartist. a designer. but not a content creator #ai clowns in my replies will be deleted and blocked without response so do not waste your breath #you are not an 'artist' for generating an image any more than you are a chef for ordering from a restaurant. someone Else did the work. #owen dennis just deleted all his blue sky stuff again and i hate that he does that because he makes such interesting comments #about the entertainment industry lmao i need to just. start screenshotting every smart thing he says #anyway thats why i decided to finally make this when its been sitting in drafts for a few months #owen dennis #edit - if you dont know who owen dennis is he's the creator of one of the best animated series of the last 20 years (Infinity Train) #he's very open about talking about art and the entertainment/animation industry on social media and in his newsletter and hes so cool 4 it

[iamanartichoke]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but as a creator -

I am fine with "the audience" -

downloading my fics

printing my fics

copy/pasting or screenshotting my fics

sharing your saved copy of my fics with anyone else who might want them in the unlikely but never impossible case that my fics are no longer available on ao3

making a book of my fic(s) and running your fingers across the pages while lovingly whispering my precioussss

doing these things with anything I create for fandom, such as meta, headcanons, au nonsense like 'texts from the brodinsons,' etc

I am not fine with "the audience"

doing any of the above with the purpose/intent of plagiarizing my work or passing it off as their own in any capacity

feeding my work into ai for any reason whatsoever

Save the fandom things. Preserve the fandom things. Respect the fandom things.

Enjoy the fandom things.

#fanfic #ao3 #archive of our own #fandom things #tumblr things #i may have said this at some point #i'm sure i have #but whatever - just in case #i don't say this with the presumption that i'm so amazing and people are clamoring to save my fics #but just if anyone is so inclined that's all #ftr i don't intend on ever removing my fics from ao3 or deleting fandom things from this blog #i've always shared my fandom things with the intent of keeping them shared bc that's the whole point of posting #but the fandom atmosphere and ao3 constantly being under attack who knows what can happen #not that this applies to anyone but should all else fail you can also reach out to me and i will personally give you a copy #at least of fics bc i save everything #not so much the tumblr things but this is a good reminder to myself that i should do that for the things i care about #that i've made or done and only posted here #anyway sorry i have now used up my quota of the putting words into sentences doing for today #i have plans to stare into the void now

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."

I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.

Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.

Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.

#anyway this is just more of that lefty shit where 'well i can't be racist because i'm gay!' #'well i can't be media illiterate because i love villains!' #not how that works babes #'well I KNOW bad from good so i can't be affected by media!' #'everyone else also knows bad from good and defines it the exact way i do!' #'so if i think this is bad then the author must also think this is bad!' #i have bad news .... #also how do you know bad from good? who taught you that? hmm? #did you fall out of the womb knowing? or did you pick up some things on the way here? #'i just know' no you don't! that's what i'm saying! #assuming one thing is always true is the opposite of being a conscious consumer of media soz #assuming someone thinks and knows the exact same shit you think and know is not media literacy!!

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[knifearo]

being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one

#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts #course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism #being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍 #hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn #i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well. #obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it. #realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus #cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself #into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway. #so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation #but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct! #and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want... #best case scenario. is what i'm saying. #every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy #and it's so fucking satisfying. every day. #fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system #you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao #yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :) #aromantic #aromanticism #aro positivity #aroace #arospec #sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon #you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself. #FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better #life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not #i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao

[buggachat]

honestly just in general it's very exhausting to try to analyze media that is literally meant to be analyzed, only for the replies to be filled with people arguing not against your analysis, but against the premise that the media can be analyzed at all.

i don't even know what to say about it without starting to really betray my frustration, so i'll just settle with— just don't engage with analysis posts? I'm serious. if you're typing a response to a media analysis post, reread what you've written and ask yourself "is this comment/response against the very concept of analyzing the media at all?" and if the answer is yes then delete it all and go sit in the shame corner. throw your curtains away if you want to so bad and stop telling me that I'm not allowed to hum and haw at the fact mine are blue

#ml fandom salt #I suppose #and no amount of adding ''stop telling me to not analyze the media'' on my analysis posts stops people from saying it anyway #and yes. the leaks count. stop telling me that the existence of outdated leaks invalidates all analyses of the completed material #and no. just like every other time i've said this. me saying that i don't care about the leaks is not an invitation for you to try to #convince me to care about the leaks #do i tag this spoilers? it feels weird to. i mean this to be a vague overarching thing about media in general #also of course any ''or maybe the writers are just bad'' arguments ALSO are included in this. YOU guys have been my bane since FOREVER #would you guys consider commenting on fanart with ''umm.... drawing seems pretty pointless lmao'' rude? #i know this is not the first time i've made a post like this and i'm sure it won't be the last

[spocks-kaathyra]

experimenting w making little trek dolls for the STLV craft swap :))

#sisko first bc idk how I'm gonna make hair LMAO but isn't he so cute?? #made the doll a while ago but I just made his little outfit today and yesterday :)) #hopefully giving them away for free means no one will mind the shoddy craftsmanship lmao #I think I've set a new record for terrible hand sewing. and there's raw edges on the inside. and none of the thread is the right color #but WHO CARES HES SO CUTE!!!! #it's the early ds9 uniform bc I've been watching voy and I'm sooo enamored with their uniforms ugh I need to make an actual life size one #watching voyager will have u saying things like. surely it can't be that hard to sew an invisible zipper?? #anyways. need to figure out how to make hair so I can make characters other than him and picard 💀💀 #ds9 #star trek #benjamin sisko #deep space nine #captain sisko #narcissus's echoes #narcissus plays dress up #(?)

[egophiliac]

IT'S BUNNY TIME EVERYBODY

(feat. Dilla)

(bugle accompaniment by Yuu)

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #white rabbit festival #ah...the eternal dilemma of 'is it hair dye or whimsical anime hair'. and so we roll the dice again. #so it's canon now that yuu is inexplicably great at bugling. everybody get ready to incorporate that incredible trivia into your characters #anyway HELLO THERE madam spade #i think we have enough evidence now to say that you're not allowed into nrc unless you have an absolutely smoking mom #(riddle's mom has a smoking crater where her heart should be but we digress) #dilla likes two things: BIG VANS and also telling her son's friends all about how he used to literally refuse to not dress like a bunny #and yet now he does not wish to dress like a bunny. :( deuce what HAPPENED #meanwhile epel is too polite to whine at his best friend's mom so he's just hoping vil never finds out he wore a bonnet #silver is like 'i'm the handsomest little marching band boy. i'm taking this outfit back to show everyone.' #and ortho put all his points into POWERFUL THIGHS #he minmaxed leg day and is going to go kick a tree in half #can't wait for part 2 to see if they resolve the exciting cliffhanger of whether or not silver finds an alarm clock

[warpedpuppeteer]

It's interesting how Buck's love interests are all written in a way that ends because of the reason they meet/happen in the first place and then of course, we have Eddie.

Abby, who changes Buck's view of a healthy relationship but then turns around and ghosts him, making him wait for months on end and letting him realize she's not coming back on his own.

Ali, who meets Buck during a dangerous situation in his line of work and then leaves him for how dangerous his work is.

Taylor, who lashes out at Buck for using her as a fake date and saying she thought she could trust Buck to be a friend who then ends up using him for her career and chose to put his friends in danger.

Natalia, who's there to help him embrace and deal with his temporary death but it leads to their break up because of the constant talk surrounding death when Buck's not comfortable with it.

We can't confirm for Tommy till it ends but it's important to note how he offers to get Buck into his interests like flying and muay thai yet doesn't show effort with Buck's interests like dressing up according to the bachelor party theme despite Buck being stressed about it. And we also have the fact that the entire reason they got together was due to Buck's jealousy for Eddie which he then claims to be was for Tommy. Makes me think they are either going to end because of differing interests OR because of the jealousy issue popping up again.

Funnily enough, every scene above has an Eddie parallel:

Eddie co-parents with Buck and not only does this not stop after a dangerous event but Eddie also has Buck down as a legal guardian (healthy relationship - Abby).

Eddie is in the same dangerous line of work and they have each other's backs. This happens right off the bat too.(dangerous job - Ali).

The Lawsuit era and The Dispatch era - both where they "betray" each other but manage to work through it (betrayal/lie - Taylor).

Eddie doesn't pressure Buck to talk about his temporary death until Buck's ready and is more focused about him living than in his death (death doula - Natalia).

Eddie who has different interests than Buck (poker, basketball and UFC/MMA) but also manages to show interest and actively takes part in whatever Buck comes up with; he suggests their outfit for the themed party AND ends up staying there for Buck even when others leave (different hobbies & showing interest/taking part - Tommy).

Absolutely fascinating when you start noticing that Buck's relationships keep failing for one reason or another and then we have him and Eddie who face the same sort of situations but they still come out of it stronger together.

It's clear that there's a reason Buck is able to overcome anything when it comes to Eddie (that conversation with Maddie about being there for each other even at their worst 👀) and we've already established that everything Eddie looks for in a partner is already something he has found in Buck. So really, all that's left is for them to realize that hey, the one I'm looking for is right in front of me! 🤷🏽

And yes, it's been said to death (hah) but you don't find it son you make it. And Buck and Eddie have already made it.

#character meta #relationship meta #think whatever you want it's up to you #but narratively tommy is a plot device #there's no if's or but's about it #I'm saying it like it is #the parallels between Buck's LIs and Eddie is insane #i just thought about making one about it since we mostly talk about how Buck fills all the things Eddie needs in a partner #this is my interpretation of how they've basically written themselves into a corner and the only possible way to go forward is with Buddie #doing anything else is a disservice to the characters and narrative so far #as Tim said #it's only natural and this is it #buck and eddie just naturally embody the ideal partner for each other #tim minear if you make me go through another destiel i will actually personally come and eat your kneecaps i can't do it anymore bro #it's literally all there!! #it's a masterpiece #i don't trust you enough but in Oliver ryan and jlh i trust #buddie #911 abc #eddie diaz #evan buckley #evan buck buckley #911 spoilers #I'm too lazy to tag all the characters because they're unimportant #the entire point of the post is Buck's LI vs Eddie anyways #so there

[thottybrucewayne]

I think what I want to get into with the "Anyone can do harm." thing that I keep beating yall over the head with is that literally anyone, anyone at all can do harm it's not "in your DNA" to be an abuser or written in the stars that you'll be a predator. Whatever image you have of an abuser in your head, drop it and replace it with your favorite person in the world and you'll probably be closer to the truth than you realize. It's easy to address harm when it's coming from someone you already hate. I see it happen all the time. Someone you couldn't stand for no real reason does something heinous then all of a sudden here comes the avalanche of "I always knew they were a fucked up individual." No, you didn't. There is no possible way you could have known, you just already didn't fuck with them before they started doing something you could use to justify your hatred of them. I'm guilty of it too! I'm petty, mean, vindictive, and yes! I'm way quicker to believe something bad about someone I hate versus someone I love because I'm human. Still, y all gotta learn to move past that initial "Well, they were always nice to me!" gut feeling and understand that nobody truly knows anyone and anyone can be capable of anything. Even victims. Even you.

#thotty speaks #thotty rants #I was thinking about that Christine chan post and its like yeah yall really don't know how bad it got for her before she did what she did #It reminded me of that thing on tiktok where people take 'cringy' cosplayers videos (most of whom are literal children) and put racist or #bigoted text over it then reupload it to call them out then the og creator gets a flood of harassment mostly from people who hated them for #the crime of being weird on the internet but now they can use 'oh but they're a bigot!' as an excuse to tear them down until they come out #and say 'hey i didn't say this someone stole my shit' and nobody takes their vids down nor apologizes because they didn't fuck with them #anyway so wash rinse repeat #idk I just wish that people had the same smoke for people they actually like #mostly cause I'm tired of being accused of 'switching up' every time I cut people off or stop fuckin with an artist #like this is what we should be doing!!!! ACG ANYBODY CAN GET IT! #It should be smoke for ANYONE who does harm every your fave people! #otherwise you create this world where taking people to task for the harm they've done is less about the harm #and more about justifying our own actions #anyway keep that same energy across the board that's all I'm saying #cause if it comes out tomorrow that somebody close to me did some fucked up shit I'm out of there period #aint no talkin bout shit and that's on me growing up as a child told that certain grown folks can't be alone with me #but they allowed in my house... #Idk about yall but i'm ending that generational curse with me

[lazylittledragon]

isn't it weird how if you get up at 7 or 8, do your work all day, then have free time and go to bed at 11 that's absolutely fine

but if i said i get up at 10, do fun stuff in the morning then work in the evening and go to bed late, i could be called lazy, nevermind that i'm getting just as much or MORE work done as i would in a traditional work day

#ramble #idk if this is a me problem or not #i've tried to do the early rise early bed thing again and again and it just does not work for me doing freelance right now #maybe it's bc i used to work at a bar so i'm more comfortable being active in the evening #i love working at night because there's less going on to distract me #what used to happen is i would get up early then fight executive dysfunction all day saying i couldn't do fun stuff until i did my work #then my will to work would hit at 10pm and i'd be up till 2am anyway #right now my routine is waking up later and playing a game or knitting for an hour or so and then working in the afternoon and evening #something something capitalism and 9-5 and adhd don't go together #this sounds like i'm just making excuses but it works and i'm actually getting shit done and sleeping enough so i don't see the problem #i just figured i'm probably going to sit and do nothing for a few hours in the morning anyway so i might as well give myself permission to

[excali8ur]

This is the end for you, Vizioso

Wish they'd done more with the anti-mutant gas plot thread tbh. It's a pretty terrifying concept

Bonus original sketch:

Rebelg if the girl on the right is just as baeutiful as the girl or the left ❤️

#Maybe they could've done more with that instead of the weird necromancy cult thing idk just saying- #Anyway. Murdertello my beloved #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #2012 donnie #donnie #art #tmnt fanart #gas mask #tear gas #Idk if anyone would need that tag but I'm just gonna be safe #eyestrain #? #artists on tumblr

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs au #MDZS disco elysium au #This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU. #I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done! #I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together. #Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic' #But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it! #hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?' #I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh. #This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke' #Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3 #Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft- #-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it. #But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone. #wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[cozylittleartblog]

is this the tragic clown the sims warned me about

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #pomni #art #doodles #sketchdump #just kidding that's the other guy that got turned into the forbidden polygon spaghetti and eyeballs #artblock go brrt haha #''say the line cozy'' i don't like how this looks (crowd cheers) #maybe I'M the tragic clown #the first fanart is always the most intimidating i'm fine now probably #i also have to draw feddy fanart i just don't have any good ideas for that either #feddy movie is good btw. surprisingly. i have already seen it three times #anyway pomni is cute i like her. i hope nothing demented happens to her (so many demented things are going to happen to her) #once again scheduling this for when i will be asleep so i can't change my mind about it. which is how i post most of my art