#anyway i know she wants this done and it's not like i don't to bc i've had these boxes taking up space in my room for months

[svnflowermoon]

y'all go from being feminists to tearing these women down within seconds oh my god it's 2024 can we please stop viciously tearing one woman down to bring another up i don't care what side you take but saying vile shit about either woman and their music is disgusting, please grow up

#seperate the art from the artist please oh my god #for the record i like both billie and taylor #both have done things i don't particularly like #the variants being a major thing but i know thats not to hurt billie like yall say its it's to get more money (which she doesn't need????) #& if i were billie i would try to stay in good graces w the other chart topping artists if my album had just released but thats her choice #like let people have opinions oh my god its not that deep #and some of yall (not naming names yk who you are) went from loving billies new album to saying the most vile shit within a second which is #+shallow as fuck please learn to separate the art from the artist #you're allowed to dislike someones music but dragging them down as a person is shameful and not something to be proud of #and some of the shit ive seen said recently is disgusting please think before you speak #and ill be honest the swifties are saying most of the horrible stuff #i love taylor as much as you guys but it is not an excuse to say disgusting shit about other women please find something better to do+ #+with your time #most of my mutuals are swifties but tbh if youre offended by me saying not to drag women down then i don't want you following me anyways #luc posts #billie eilish #taylor swift #i will not rant about my hatred for the variants and consumerism thats a post for another day #also have yall considered that this whole argument thing is pr so they can both get more streams. bc uh that was my first thought ngl #edit like 10 minutes later: i read an article and yall are blowing shit out of proportion it is literally not that deep omg

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

rip reyna you would have loved ‘i know you’ by faye webster

#ITS LITERALLY HER SONG #LIKE SHE OWNS IT OWNS FRFR #allow me to deep dive in this tags rn #firstly the repetition of ‘i know you’ bc she knows him but he doesn’t kn her #then this fucking line ‘I'll quiet down if it's what you want i understand i'm not the only one for you’ #are you shitting me??? #so reyna core frfr #AND THERES MOREEEE #immediately after is this line ‘So tell me what you're looking for Is it a picture-perfect girl For you?’ #bc she sees piper as the perfect girl for him bc why wouldn’t she ya know??? #i’m not done lemme cook frfr #this fucking banger ‘I'm here regardless of the pain Don't ever tell me to go away From you’ #ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? #REYNA WOULD NEVER RECOVER FROM THIS SONG #NEVER EVER EVER #she just like me frfr #anyways that’s my ted talk 🫡 #all my love ౨ৎ #𐙚๋࣭ ⭑ how covey got her phd in yapping #jason grace #piper mclean #reyna avila ramirez arellano #hoo #pjo fandom #heroes of olympus x reader

[b4kuch1n]

I lied I think it’s fun to draw animals sometimes

#sonic the hedgehog #miles tails prower #knuckles the echidna #amy rose #team sonic #hey. still dont expect more sonic stuff okay. this is an exception #(I say as I immensely enjoy scribbling these animals) #man. Im mad how good these designs are tbh theyre so (clenches fists) theyre so! scribbleable! #hate that! dont like that dont like how much fun it is to draw them! #also I made amy spiky bc I want to and I can. and also shes a hedgehog #gods. thinking abt it sonic designs cater to me to such a disgusting level... the cartoon gloves... the big shapes.... the varied footwears #it's like psychonauts raz was so fuckign fun to draw. but here it's the whole cast #it's fucked up! it's entrapment!! I didn't consent to this!!! #next time they give any of the characters a big coat I'm sending sega a strongly worded letter. they cant do that to me #well. here it is anyway. genuinely these all took like an hour each I drew them as breaks inbetween work #(an hour for me is equivalent to other artists' fifteen minutes btw. I'm not fast at all I just don't know when to stop) #well. that done. back to work now #I am actually so excited abt the current one lol its just also gonna be a pain in the ass to coordinate #but I really wanna do well with it. go crazy go stupid baku!! #have a good night! a good pair of boots is worth the money but only if you can tie the strings together & wear it on ur neck in emergencies

[runawaymun]

.

#sorry let me rant real quick in the tags #cw personal #once again hitting an insurance pothole bc the psych says she accepts my OHP plan HOWEVER the therapy group she is contacted with says #THEY don't #they only accept the insurance if it's through my employer but NOT through the government?????????????? #so there's still some kind of payment??? #anyway I want to scream why is this so complicated #like will she take my insurance or not who's right here #anyway called her back directly and went to voicemail so now I've done all I can for now #why the hell is this so hard man #the person on the phone didn't know really how to explain #once again no one knows what they're talking about #like can y'all not communicate and figure this out? #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #i need to get an ADHD eval before my next PCP appointment in june so that they will continue giving me my meds #and the psychiatry through the hospital has a limited number of visits that insurance will cover #*contracted #not retyping all of that #and once again the only reason this is so stressful is because the psychiatry group at the hospital fumbled the communication ball last tim #and the psychiatrist I was with never put the ADHD on the chart #and now somehow it's MY responsibility to fix that> #UGH #like I am grateful to have some kind of coverage but holy shit is the US healthcare system in shambles #the bureaucracy is INSANE #i had to just sit down and put my head in my hands for a second #and then go 'right okay nothing i can do about that rn moving on' #uGH #literally said 'what the FUCK' out loud a couple times #like not on the phone after I hung up obvs

[siriuslynephilim]

i just came out to a real life person and i think im having a heart attack

#IT WAS SO UNPLANNED I HADN'T THOUGHT ABOUT IT AT ALL I DIDN'T EVWN THINK WE WERW FRIENDS?? #she lives in the building next to mine and we go to tui together to divide the auto fare and we've been walking home 2-3 dino se #and she likes kpop and kdramas #but like there isn't that Spark yk like oh ny god i love u best friends forever its a little awkward and formal still #but we were talking about something and oh my god #when we reached home we were standing uski building ke neeche and she was like i want to introduce you to my childhood bestie i think you #two will like each other #and i was like kinda weirded out like um are we that close yet i thought we were just classmates 😭😭 #so i asked ki oh why all of a sudden #and she's like 'i like you' and i look at her and laugh and she said STOP LAUGHING i don't meant it like that im straight ok #and idk something in me snapped i was like oh are u homophobic too? #but pls she didn't know what it meant 😭 so i explained ki do u hate gay people then #she said no no ofc not SO I JUST BLURTED OUT KI good cause im bisexual #THE SHOCK ON HER FACE OMG im saying this now in freaking out now but at that time i said it really coolly and proudly without fumbling #my voice didn't drop down to a low volume or waver or anything (which im so proud bc she's like the first irl person ive come out to face #to face??????? i mean obv childhood friends don't count they're all gay #but anyway she was like OH and then SHE FUMBLED she was like oh nice i respect u very much and it was so awkward i was like haan haan shut #up just don't tell anyone very few ppl know 😭and she wasn't done she was like so as i was saying #we're growing old and real good friendships are getting harder to find and i like you (stop laughing!!) and i hope we don't jinx it #and she literally touched a wooden table lying there and said touchwood???? 😭😭😭😭😭 #now i am thinking why did i tell her she's so extroverted she talks to everyone we go to the same tui this town is tiny #she could tell everyone my parents could find out #but also a part of me is relieved cause im so sick of hiding something that is such a small yet imp part of me #and if she tells everyone then cool maybe there'll be more queer people i can't ve the only queer person in this town and we could be #friends and my parents eh they'd never believe something like that they'll ask me if it's true and ill say nah just rumors dumb kids #and they'll believe me because they'll want to believe me so bad #so no harm #i still don't feel very bestfriendy with her but maybe my standards are too high 😭 idk ig i can't see myself being friends with her #for a long time if we weren't forced by circumstances and i don't like her that much but im happy i got to say it #literally said it omg 'kyunki main hu. bisexual' FUCK THAT FELT GOOD

[horsemage]

I think we should bring back basic etiquette lessons such as shutting the fuck up when you’re watching a movie in a group that is not exclusively your friend group 🙂

#welcome to another Mick Airs Out Their Grievances and by god is it a VERY long one #prob best if u don't expand the tags #am I being maybe a bit meaner about this than I would be for any other movie? maybe but pac rim is one of my favorite movies of all time #so I think I get a pass on this one. #one of the groups on campus is hosting movie nights & I went to this one bc I've only ever watched pac rim on my laptop and wanted to watch #it on a larger screen. yay yippee I love this movie! #there r maybe 10-ish of us in this room and a three person friend group is sitting on the couch one of whom has seen the movie and two who #have not. okay so far so normal. #and then the movie starts and they won't! stop! fucking! commentating! the whole fucking movie!!! I don't have a problem with doing that #when I'm in just my friend group because I know that I can tell my friend to stop talking or pause the movie or whatnot but not when I'm in #a large group w people I'm not good friends with ffs #and the comments aren't even funny or anything they're all oh this is JUST like in iron widow!! oh they're SO gay and autistic!!! and #they're talking so loud about this that it completely drowns out the movie audio which has already been turned up a few times #like. be considerate!! some of us want to yknow actually listen to what's going on and not whatever bullshit you're saying #I nearly walked out three or four times before I actually wound up doing so #I may have been a bit of a bitch at the end but I don't care. I got up to leave because this was not an enjoyable environment and one of #them offered to turn the movie down if it was too loud. this caught me a bit off guard since I expected them to still be so wrapped up in #their convo and. well. I may have said 'it's not the movie that's too loud' before closing the door #this also reminds me a lot about my issues with online shipping culture and it bleeding through into how we interact with media irl #this is probably heavily influenced by my aromanticism but I'm so sick of people constantly reading romantic relationships into everything #AND placing more importance on those relationships than any other form. I don't mind romance in media. I think if done right it has great #emotional impact on a story but when a movie is running and when other people who may not want to hear it are in the room watching it too #is not the time to be loudly saying 'he's autistic!' 'they're in love!' 'she has a crush on him!' #I have my own interpretations of the movie some of which agree with what they said and some of which don't but that's beside the point of #knowing how to coexist politely in public #anyway. I think they were awful and annoying and they ruined my night out. #I think I'm just so incredibly mad about this because I love the movie and I was looking forward to watching it in a group of people who #found it cool as well while still having some modicum of politeness #I almost wish I had been meaner but that's the extreme annoyance talking I think #hater hour over love u guys bye

[altruistic-meme]

help someone please make me be an adult cus i really just don't want to.

#hghhhhhhhhhh i really need to actually go get a fucking car. but. im scarsd <3 #i want to call my dad and see if he'd be willing to talk to me about it cus im. a mess. #and 1. my mom is currently dealing with shit of her own and i dont wanna bother her and #2. she would be hard to talk to about this anyway bc shes still against me doing financing. though at least she explained her reasoning. #but i want to talk to my dad cus hes done shit like this before ;;; at least on SOME level ;;;;; #i don't actually know how many cars he's bought from like. a dealership. but still. #he HAS bought cars before #and he understands jargon and shit better than me and im anxious #and i just want to get this one thing done so i can stop worrying about my car giving up the ghost on me at any point in time #ough #i meant to call my insurance company earlier to see if i could get a ballpark number for full coverage but didnt #bc the Anxiety. you understand. s #shh ac

[sage-nebula]

I've decided to make my own post because I am not an idiot, but full disclosure that this post is 50% based on thoughts I was having while I was driving home from the auto repair shop yesterday and 50% a response to a post I saw just now that conflated "redemption arcs" (things fictional characters go through in fictional stories) with "community support" (things real life people offer to other real life people in real life) and how this relates to "fixing people" (making someone who mistreats or abuses themself or others not mistreat or abuse themself or others anymore).

Read my words very carefully.

In fiction, it is more than okay to like whatever type of toxic or fantastical relationship you want. If you like to read stories about toxic, codependent people who are absolutely horrible to one another and will never, ever change, you read those stories. If you like to read stories about a tortured man who just needs The Right Person to teach him to be better, and then he is, sometimes exclusively only to them though, then you read those stories. Sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and fails spectacularly, and sometimes you want to read stories where the main character says "I can fix him" and succeeds spectacularly, and either way, you read whatever stories you want, whatever makes you happy, I'm sure it's somewhere in this vast Archive that we call Our Own.

However, in real life?

First of all, "arcs" aren't things real life people have. An arc is something that has a beginning, a middle, and an end. Real life people don't have those, because our stories don't end until we die. Unlike a character, whose life presumably continues even after their story ends (except in circumstances where they die at the end but you know what I mean), we have to keep living day by day, with all the rises and falls that come with it. Now, this does not mean that a person cannot change, or that a person can't get better and learn from their mistakes; but it DOES mean that we can't have a "redemption arc" where we complete a checklist of story beats and then suddenly we're a better person who has experienced the necessary growth to be forgiven. First off, no amount of growth or change ever requires any victims to forgive. And second, that's just not how life works. That's not how change works. Change and growth are baby steps taken each day, and sometimes you go backwards, and you get angry with yourself, but then you pick yourself up and you try again the next day, and the next, and the next. It's an ongoing journey that does not end until you die. That's life.

But second and more importantly, the real idea that I think the original post was trying to get at, but missing the mark on was . . . okay.

So, the original OP of the post (and the person who replied to OP) got angry at the idea that the strawman they had invented (the person who had theoretically said "you can't fix him!") would deny support to someone who needs that help to grow and change as a person. The person who had replied in support of OP added that the strawman clearly believed in punitive justice over rehabilitative justice as well. On the surface, I can see where they are coming from. After all, on the whole humans are a social species and do need support networks in order to not only thrive, but survive. People such as drug addicts need support and assistance in order to get into better places in their lives, and the prison system has been proven to be far less effective at preventing repeated offenses than rehabilitative programs. This is all true.

However.

The reason why "you can't fix them" is still true, and needs to be said and understood particularly by those who are susceptible to falling into abusive relationships (e.g. people who have been abused before, particularly in childhood or adolescence) is because of free will. Specifically, the free will that each of us has, but specifically the other person. Person A can want so, so, so badly to "fix" Person B so that they stop being an abusive alcoholic 75% of the time. But if Person B doesn't actually want to stop being an abusive alcoholic (even if they say they do during the 25% of the time they aren't smacking Person A around), and refuses to put in the work that it takes to become sober and be a better person, then guess what? Nothing Person A does will ever make them be a sober, non-abusive partner. They will be unable to fix Person B. It doesn't matter how much time, energy, money, or commitment they pour into that person. It doesn't matter how much they genuinely, honestly, earnestly love them. Because unless Person B wants to change, and will put the work into doing so, then they will not change, and Person A, for their own health, safety, and sanity, needs to exit that relationship.

Now, does that mean that if, ten years down the line, Person B decides they are ready to put in the work to get their alcoholism under control, no one should help them? Of course not! They should absolutely be put in touch with sober counselors, support groups, medical professionals, friends and family who can help them. Person A could potentially forgive them, if Person A chooses. But that willingness to change and put in the work has to come from within Person B first.

I've been in the position where I've seen people in awful situations just tanking their lives, people I loved and cared about, people I begged to just listen to me and get help, only for them to not . . . and ultimately I had to accept that I couldn't fix them. I could be there to offer support when they were ready to fix themselves, but the core work that needed to be done had to come from within themselves. I couldn't provide that. Not because I was inadequate, not because I didn't love them, but because I couldn't force them to do anything they didn't want, or weren't ready, to do.

So at the end of the day, "you can't fix them" isn't about not giving support. It's about recognizing your limitations as a human being. It's about knowing that:

You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do.

You cannot force someone to do something they are not ready to do.

Not being able to help or save someone is not a moral failing of yours.

Not being able to help or save someone does not mean you do not love or care about them.

Providing support should never come at risk of your own health and safety, physical or otherwise.

When you love someone, it can be really hard to accept this. You think, "I know I can make them want to try. I know I can inspire them to want to change. I know they love me, so if I just love them a little harder, they will want to change." Nine times out of ten, though, that is just not true. And if someone is abusing you, it is not worth the literal risk to your life to keep trying. You are worth more than that. You are more than just someone else's band-aid.

Keep yourselves safe in 2024.

#not an abuse scenario but: my mom died of covid-19 #it's relevant to this discussion bc she was a trump-supporting republican who refused to get vaccinated #bc the far-right propaganda shows she watched told her the vaccine ''wasn't a real vaccine'' #and i know this bc when i literally BEGGED MY PARENTS to get the vaccine my mother LAUGHED IN MY FACE and TOLD ME ''it's not a real vaccine #so anyway both my parents got it. my father almost died from it #my mom seemed like she was doing much better . . . except she CONTINUED to smoke heavily while both having covid #and recovering from covid #and once again i said hey don't you think you should not smoke cigarettes while recovering from a serious respiratory disease #and once again she laughed at me #anyway 2 months later her heart gave out in her sleep and she died #bc her body couldn't handle the stress of the cigarettes + alcohol (she was also an alcoholic) after covid had done its thing to her #she was only 56yo #so this was a case where i wanted to fix my mother. i tried so hard. and i've similarly tried to fix my father (who is still alive) #but i can't! my dad almost died and my mom DID die and my dad STILL won't get the vaccine #I HAVE BEGGED THIS MAN. WHO IS NOW 73. TO GET VACCINATED. AND HE STILL WILL NOT. #you can't fix people!!! you can't!!! you can offer them support if they want to fix themselves #you can help them fix themselves but you can't fix them. you just can't. no matter how much you love them #and in abuse cases it can be really fucking dangerous to keep trying. #anyway. that's my TED talk. thanks for attending or w/e it is they say

[tanicus-caesareth]

guarana drama, damage control

[marrissacooper]

I see everyone criticising ttpd but for once I actually like it lol definitely better than midnights imo

#maybe bc i'm fresh out of a relationship with a deeply fucked up person #but idk i'm digging the vibe even though it's not the best things she's done obviously #but then i haven't really loved a ts album since red tbh #anyway i kinda like ttpd bc it reminds me of my ex and isn't that what music's for #taylor swift #i mean who cares which ex she's talking about in this song or that song #i don't know them and i don't know her #i want to think about my ex and i did so it's good enough for me

[i-luvsang]

need to not have my mom sit next to me while i'm writing fanfic thank you very much

#listen i adore visiting my grandparents #like truly #but this time around i have no private time basically #because they dont have ac so i can't stay in the attic room bc it's TOO HOT #so i'm sleeping on the couch in the living room #and that's fine chill i am not burning to death and i'm grateful for that love it #but now i can't write fanfic without the risk of my mom seeing #not the end of the world if she did but she'd probably be weird abt it #feel like she knows i do but #idk she didn't know i was gay so #anyways!! #it's just hard to be writing ff rn #like thank fUCK i wasn't writing smut i think i wouldve DIED #but like all the requests i want to be getting done are smut #and so even if there aren't people IN the living room #i don't particularly enjoy writing all this nASTY ASS SHIT while my grandma is cooking dinner in the other room yknow ??? #or like. anyone could walk in and sit down next to me or in the armchair at any moment #and i really just prefer to write smut not in the presence of other people esp my family at that !! #anyways lol #not like majorly frustrated or anything #but i want to be doing my milestone requests for my other blog and :') #it's just slower than normal lol #hopefully i can pump out the jongho one tonight or at least start #and then i'm going home tomorrow so i'll be chilling after that #anyways! adventures with maria

[welcometoteyvat]

rant ahead lmao

i believe your gripes are completely valid because i have the same gripes. it feels like their storytelling (for the entire game) is all over the place. the high cloud quintet is literally something i’ve never chanced upon in the game. i only know it via fandom. this is similar to how that pyro butterfly lady is the crimson witch. only those who dig deep enough into the game will find out about it, and just like genshin, such “information” spreads quickly in the community.

HOWEVER, what genshin does better than star rail is that its main story DOES NOT rely on these snippets to tell its story. do i need to know she was the crimson witch when what happened to her happened? no. not at all. she was there for X purpose in the main storyline and therefore she did what she had to do and left. her being crimson witch was to add depth to her character which the main story had no space to do so.

stair rail, on the other hand, EXPECTS you to find out all these little tidbits, which to me is too time consuming and annoying. why split the story into its separate segments if i need to know them in order to understand the main story?? that’s just poor storytelling imho.

i think you’ll like this video. i agree with it. i get that the funeral for fox character was supposed to be emotional, but this video is right that we know NOTHING about this character. from my own personal experience, the funeral was so boring and honestly irritating because i. don’t. care. in fact, i didn’t even know she was with us throughout the quest so when she had her background voicelines i was always so confused????

i feel the hype around the characters is because the designs of each character have given people a desire to seek more about said characters, and there is abundance information. but this shouldn’t be something to expect of the players.

give me a reason to care that’s not just aesthetics, please.

video will be sent in next ask.

video: https://youtu.be/vaPL0UZK_HQ?si=puvssJPBLc2H57vk

ok thank you for validating me LMAO i was constantly wondering "where is the ancient dead people lore" (hcq) during the entire quest chain, which unfortunately contained very little of what fandom promised me (character depth). apparently i've not be reading enough books and pamphlets you can collect since the lore is concentrated there and in limited character's character stories

tbh I think the reveal that La Signora was the Crimson Witch was also really bad lol, for the same reason that the video argues DH IL's transformation is unimpactful. like "omg wow alternate identity revealed!" but it doesn't really have any impact on the conflict of the story we're currently looking at. they could've just switched it, or not even given her a transformation, instead just showing an extended duel with us and making it visible that she was tired and out of power before she dies, and I don't really know if anything would've changed. same with dan heng IL, I'd probably get more out of it if I read the hcq book from that one opera performer, but ehh there wasn't enough visibly shown leadup, like you said.

I guess the difference between genshin world lore (things in artifacts, weapons, books, world quests etc) and star rail lore is that genshin's is either about the past or future, but not necessarily about the present characters? thinking about the pale flame lore, which gave everyone the fatui crumbs before scara and la signora's stories were introducted in the main storyline, the enkanomiya quests about the vishaps and ancient history of teyvat, and the narzissenkreuz quests that also connect to that + khaenriah + a host of other world lore things. I guess it's nice that reading through all the materials isn't "mandatory" because it's either about the ancient past, dead npcs (so many of the artifact sets) or foreshadowing for important elements in the future that will still get introduced in the main story. I will be biased and agree w you, star rail's lore crumbs are rather :\ storytelling. like I would be fine if the hidden nuggets of lore were about >npcs >lore that happened but is not directly relevant to a character's main arc >foreshadowing for future events/story. but instead it's more like mandatory background reading that is crucial to understand a character's stories, instead of enriching your knowledge of them? anyways yeah

now abt tingyun. I agree that the funeral was really ???????????? i agree w you and the video lol. playing it, I was mostly in disbelief that we're assuming tingyun is legitimately dead even though she's still playable (no dead playables in genshin moment). I also think the thing with the 3 npcs we had to talk to was bullshit because. like the video said, we could've spent time with tingyun (maybe visiting the npcs we collected things from) BEFORE she died and maybe it would have given us more emotional impact. the way they retroactively show how kind and generous she was really put me off, we could've seen this all in person instead of hearing it from other people...... bruh also the way everyone got together in that cutscene when i dont think any of them were really shown to have a deep connection w her is so ..... >_> the emotional impact did not hit whatsoever

but I'm gonna level with you I think they made her role as our guide pretty clear and the implication that she was traveling with us was also pretty clear. no shade though

about the rest of the video: oh he put things into words that I could not articulate JSDKLFJDSKL. not really any thoughts but i agree that a lot of the characters (qingque, xueyi especially) could have just been cut T_T i like both of their designs and personalities based on other material in game but their main quest participation was Not It rip. also agree about the characters being vehicles for exposition and not having their personalities shine through. I'd argue maybe you can tell somewhat of what they're like (jing yuan, fu xuan, yanqing to some extent) but man there's just too much lore explaining for them to really show what they do on a normal schedule it's so .......... also because fanart and fanfic makes them seem so fun im standing here looking at the main plot like >_> <_< what was that. i'm sure it gets better inside their own companion quests, which I haven't done, but that shouldn't be the only place the character gets to really shine lmao

I agree that their design makes people more willing to invest but god I'm so sorry hsr designs really aren't my thing, the color palettes are just incredibly bad JDKSFLJDSKLGHKDJ the only thing holding up the story are the plot and personalities of chars and neither of those were delivered ...

#i think i also engage with hsr differently than genshin bc i made a promise to myself not to spend time on it thus I Dont Have Time to Read #this is also compounded by the fact that i think i have at least 15 character story quests sitting there unfinished like i genuinely can't #dig into the lore even if i wanted to. too much other shit to be doing after not playing for 6 months #well anyways i think this got away from the main point but in general thank you for the discussion :3 #hsr #asks #anon ask #ramblings! #i legit forgot that xue.yi existed in the main story until the video like IT WAS ENTIRELY UNNECESSARY WE COULDVE JUST KEPT GOING #the event has done so much better about properly introducing her. still idk how much i understand her but at least shes actually relevant #also i wrote the first part before actually actually playing the whole quest so i didn't get to the epilogue (?) scene with luo.cha in the #prison again. and so since he's sus I don't know how much foreshadowing of that we were supposed to get????????? again i feel like i wasn't #paying attention or am stupid or the game is so bad at directing audience attention to things that will become important

[izzy-b-hands]

finally broke into one of my new syringes (still have some old ones, but figured hey i should try them for this shot)

Tw for bitching abt medical shit/my injs below the cut

and i just. why is my doc intentionally making this harder. I ask for 3ml syringes bc it's what im used to and know how to draw up. She agreed to that, so i never checked my new ones bc why should i? she listened, she sent in for 3mls, right?

NOPE. fucking 1 ml which means figuring out the draw up has required online searching to make sure it's right, and bonus! everything I've found doesn't recommend it for T bc it's such a slow inj to begin with, and 'many feel it takes longer to inject in smaller syringes designed mainly for IV use, which lessens compliance with injection schedules in some'

And i hate how it looks. it looks like so much more, and i know that's stupid bc it isn't, it's the same amount as usual, but the sight of it is v much involved in me getting my injs done with my fear of needles. I know, again, I KNOW planned parenthood is dealing with not enough funding, hands on staff, etc, but does that really prevent you from listening to your patient and trying to help them with shit like this? bc i don't think it should. I'm still forever grateful they've been helping me keep my T going until I find a primary care doc, but at the same time...what the fuck? I said this would be an issue, and i need to stay with my usual supplies. If that was an issue for them, i was willing to buy syringes myself from the medical gear shop I've used for extra supplies before (that will ship out here, I've checked.) Why won't she just fucking. listen, and talk to me? if all she could do was 1 ml syringes, fine, BUT FUCKING TELL ME THAT BEFORE SO I CAN JUST BUY MY OWN

Like. I will get this done. ill use these crap syringes up bc I refuse to waste them.

But now I'm overly nervous and worried im gonna fuck it up with the new syringe, or that it will hurt more or take even longer to inject than usual, so my hands are too shaky to do it! im already a day late with it, and I'd bet ten bucks I wont be able to calm myself enough to do it until tomorrow. Yes, this is also autism bs of needing things the same but like. I've had to do a lot of adjusting since last year, and have made efforts to accept changes and sporadic things. it's been hard as fuck, but I've fucking done it. so why can't i have one fucking thing like this stay the same? just my inj supplies, that's it! I'll accept and deal with other changes but for fuck's sake, she KNOWS I'm nervous abt fucking up my injections (bc i always want them to go well so i get as much med in me as i can, with minimal tracking out after it), why the fuck wouldn't she at least tell me if she was limited in syringes/what she can rx?

Why don't docs listen when i talk, and why won't they just talk and be honest with me like a fucking adult. is that honestly so fucking difficult?

Apparently so 🙃

#text post #long post #sorry ignore me i just needed to vent this out before i figure out if the inj needle fits this syringe #bc the draw up one barely fits correctly so im not feeling real confident on the others! #this is my fault for not checking at the pharmacy but tbh they wouldn't have done anything to help anyway #they're overworked as it is and don't have the time or patience for that #I'd love to discuss this with my doc but thus far she's only suddenly changed when she wanted more bloodwork donr #and refuses to respond to my requests asking when she'd like my next appt scheduled #bc if she moved the bloodwork then maybe she wants to follow up sooner but who fucking knows #and that's not even getting into her misgendering me thru my whole last appt #and she's this p.p.'s full time gender therapy specialist! so there's no one else i can even ask to see at the local office #she's sweet enough but i really think she needs to like. go into a different specialty or something #bc clearly this is not her thing and I'm selfishly frustrated that it's making this harder for me #whatever. i have an inj to set somewhere safe until i can get over this change and make myself do it #funny enough this was supposed to be a quick inj before i shower but! here we are!!!

[insertsickusername13]

The pinkberry fic I want to read more than anything is 'the end'. I don't know, the more I think about Chloe the more toxic she seems. I analyze the way she behaved in canon and apply it to other aspects of her relationships and honestly, she's probably ruined Brooke's self-esteem beyond simple high school girl fights. Brooke probably bases her own value off of Chloe's opinion of her, and irreversibly so (to some extent), and I bet Chloe knows it, because she did it on purpose. I want a fic where Brooke begs in tears for Chloe to stay because she doesn't know anything but Chloe, because she's endlessly loving and forgiving and, as Chloe spent years constructing and perfecting, she's all Brooke has. And Chloe, finally, after everything, realizes the best thing she can do is leave. That the only way Brooke can ever learn to love herself is if she gets as far away as possible. As a Chloe Valentine hater, that is the only way I will ever see Chloe as truly redeemed.

#see the thing is i'm so cynical when it comes to relationships #and i've been told i hold a grudge #so when i see chloe i see actions that are simply unforgivable #sometimes with Rich too #but i sympathize more with his character than i do chloe's #bc he had good intentions with terrible consequences #she just has bad intentions. she walks in desperate to be ruinous because it's the only way she can feel good about herself #and she did it for so long that the damage she's done is unrepairable #to jake too actually #there's too many tags in this post but i'm gonna keep going anyway #like both jake and chloe obviously contributed to it but considering jake's tendency to be obliviously rude rather than manipulative #i think its quite possible she started their toxic relationship #taught him that his only value was sex #because that's how she viewed herself. and she projected it onto him and ruined his self image #i know it feels unfair to forgive rich and not chloe #but the way chloe treats people is just so fucking appalling i just. god. fuck. i hate her. #she is the exact person I don't want to be. #all my closest friends here like chloe #sorry guys #be more chill

[altruistic-meme]

genuinely so upset about not being able to scream to my mom about my cardigan :')

#genuinely. not happy. #it sucks guys!!!! it sucks sooo much you don't get it!!!!!!!! #this is the first time I've ever been making something and not been able to go to my mom about it and thats so #its just #im sad #especially bc like. i could be asking her help. for an idea. for a stitch. when i mess up. and i cant. #man. #and i can't share my joy either!!!! #I'm almost done!!!!! and i can't send her photos!!!!!! i won't be able to send her finished photos either!!!!!!!!! #I'm gonna cry about this while i work on the border some more i just wanted to yell for a moment <3 #but bc its trans colored and she KNOWS the tran flag and im not out to her and she'll understand what it means and im!!!!!!! #maybe i do it anyway and thats how i come out LMAO im kidding thats terrifying. its all terrifying tho so yolo amirite #tell her im making it for my friend abram :'))) #which very possibly ALSO would be seen right thriving bc i HAVE talked to get about aftg fjsjfjsjjsjf #but that situation gives huge 'elephant in the room' by confetti vibes #anyway #back to crocheting i just got really hit with the sad #shh ac

[zukkaoru]

refreshing my canvas inbox every 3 minutes like please cancel class you know you want to no one wants to go out in this weather please please please you're nothing

#i have to drive anyway bc work but i'd like to get home at 10:15ish and then not leave my apartment for the rest of the day #one of them literally said that what she has planned can be done individually #i'm not really holding out hope for my german prof to cancel but 444... please you know you want to. half the class won't show up anyway #we're all seniors so the only people who still live on campus are a couple who are RAs just cancel class PLEASE #like it's been snowing pretty hard nonstop since about 6:30 this morning #and it's supposed to just keep going all day #i don't want to half to walk to class in this #hello grace here