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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 8 months

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do—

Do Howdy and Barnaby ever get together in your human au 🥺🥺

of course they do, who do you think i am

oh BOY do i have things to say about human!Laughingstock! im so unwell about them allow me to talk and talk and talk and ta-

so in this au they're like... the ultimate slowburn. their feelings for each other slowly simmer and grow over the course of *checks nonexistent watch* a lil over a decade i think. it's not very dramatic - just soft & silly w/ just a heap of pining and a pinch of angst for Flavor

it starts when they were teens - Howdy had a lil crush on Barnaby in middle school. and how could he not? Barnaby was cute, hilarious, and kind. at this point, they weren't friends! Barnaby knew Howdy's name, but only because they'd shared a school since elementary (as with 6/7 of the other neighbors) & speaking from experience, you just Know Those Names. Howdy slowly "grew out of" this crush, especially when the friend group started forming and he & Barnaby became actual friends.

that crush would fluctuate over the years. It starts out strong and then softens into just this hum in the back of Howdy's mind. always there, often easy to ignore, just... part of him, in a way.

Barnaby has a similar experience. when he and Howdy became friends, he got a lil crush - how could he not? Howdy was cute, laughed at all of his jokes and had a few of his own, and was endearingly eccentric. but at the time, Barnaby didn't recognize the crush for what it was. so he elected to ignore it until the crush dwindled to something easily manageable, something he wouldn't realize is still there. as with Howdy's, it'd never fully go away

and its noticeable enough to their friends that they'd all kinda side-eye how touchy Howdy & Barnaby are with each other (Barnaby is a physical guy, but damn. if Howdy is nearby they Will find a way to be touching at all times), the way they always laugh at each others jokes, the way they always ask "where's [x] / is [x] coming with" whenever the other is absent. but the group couldn't be sure if they were looking into it or not. it's too subtle. over time they get so used to it that they don't bat an eye - Howdy is Barnaby's best friend after Wally. of course they're close!

but then there's this one college party Howdy drags Barnaby to (and by extension, Wally). they're drunk off their asses, Wally's edible has kicked in, the party is pretty chill and everyone is having a decent time. all three of them are on the couch, and Barnaby and Howdy start drunk-complimenting each other. naturally, this feeds their mutual attraction, and one thing leads to another! they make out on the couch. naturally with Wally sandwiched between them, snacking on chips and committing the moment to memory (it's a surprise tool that'll help them later!) neither Barnaby nor Howdy will remember this

now, something i'd like to state for Barnaby in this au! he has had a lot of relationships - from one night stands to actually dating someone for months. sometimes the one night stands were a "he takes someone home after a date, & they leave while he's sleeping and ghost him" situation. with actual dating, the other person always breaks things off after a few weeks, if not days. it breaks Barnaby's heart a little bit every time. to the point where in his mid-20s, he just... stops dating. he avoids other people's advancements towards him, he always takes a friend with him to bars/etc as a buffer, he becomes an expert at gracefully turning people down

("why, pray tell" no one asks "do they always leave him? he's such a catch!" that he is! when he was in school, it was his friend group. he'd try to introduce his 'girlfriend' to his friends, and it'd be an immediate "eugh, you're friends with those freaks? no way!" as an adult, people found it off-putting how (by societal standards) unusually close he was with Wally. also, again, a "weird" friend group. they'd think it's too much, or just not their scene, or 'why don't you date your little blue haired boyfriend', etc. Barnaby never holds it against Wally or his friends. he has the mindset of if that person was the one, they would accept every part of Barnaby - and his friends are indeed part of him. Howdy has also dated around a little, but to a much lesser extent. he's too busy! he doesn't have time for that!)

but the ball really starts rolling in their late 20s. something the group does together - as a fun lil rare hobby - is LARPing. they get really into it! Sally made them all custom costumes, Julie helped make the weapons (like a giant sword for herself), etc etc. they fully commit to the bit (even Frank <3). so at this event's point in the timeline, Eddie is fully integrated into the clique, but that's unimportant - just to show where we are!

so they're all doing their thing, it's a pretty big LARP event - there's always way more people than our dear neighbors, yk. they're just part of the crowd! & there's a big battle hosted, the group is split between teams, but Barnaby & Howdy are on the same side! yay! during the battle, Barnaby is "mortally wounded." Howdy half-drags him away from the main battle under the cover of their teammates (including Eddie and Julie) and sits him down by the tree. now, Howdy & Barnaby are the ones who get into the roleplay the most. they get lost in the sauce! they perform the hell out of everything they do!

& since Barnaby is "dying", he really acts like it. Howdy acts accordingly, but again, they get a little too emotional, a little too into it, a little lost in the sauce. genuine tears are in their eyes, Howdy's voice is genuinely shaking a little as he holds Barnaby in his "dying moments" (Barnaby is holding the sword between his arm and his side. he has ketchup on his armor.) Eddie and Julie are getting choked up just watching this happen. and as Howdy & Barnaby look into each others' tear-filled eyes, those little feelings that have been so quiet for so long come right back babey! full force! but then they all get hit with "arrows" and have to die right there and then, and the moments over. but! both Barnaby & Howdy walk away from this LARP session grappling with Partially Realized Feelings.

Barnaby struggles with this the most, since yk at this point he's sworn off dating. he's being careful with his heart! but when he tells Wally all of this, cause he tells Wally everything, Wally's like "oh. yes, i know! remember that one college party where you two kissed for an hour". and then he goes on to point out every instance where he's thought "right, Howdy and Barnaby are in love" (bc Wally is way more observant than he lets on! he saw that shit! his peepers were peepin!)

BUT IT'S STILL A SLOW BURN BABEY!

Barnaby and Howdy don't approach each other about this. they're both in the boat of "well, i'll just keep going and see what happens" to the point where they're practically dating without ever saying anything to each other. Howdy notices how Barnaby lingers around the store more. Barnaby notices how Howdy keeps turning up at his work to talk more. (they already chat so much...) but they still! dont! say! anything! but they both Know! they're not emotionally circling each other they are Dancing to their Own Music!

and Barnaby is letting himself believe that this can work because, well... Howdy already accepts him as he is. Howdy is part of the group. Howdy loves Wally just like the rest of em. Howdy has seen Barnaby at his (presumed) worst and didn't even flinch! as for Howdy, well, he just thinks this is right! his whole life no one has really caught his eyes or heart, but Barnaby is different. he's always been in Howdy's peripherals. it feels natural to love him so deeply. Barnaby slots into his life like the final piece of a puzzle!

there's a lot of stuff that happens in this inbetween state - Howdy's store burns down & almost takes him with it, there's some family drama that needs to be handled, The Crash happens, etc etc etc - so it's a while before they "actually" get together. but they're both patient! they've waited this long, even if they didn't know they were waiting. neither of them are in a rush. they're young. they have time.

#oughhhhhh so normal about them sooooo so normal (lying)#'do you know how they get together' yes. obviously. its not dramatic or a big thing or anything #they're just at a function together - maybe there's a little late evening art show in town that wally is participating in #or an afterparty for one of sallys successful plays #but in my mind barnaby and howdy are ofc sitting together off to the side #Flirting. yk how it is. barnaby's like 'hey can i practice some pickup lines ;)' & ofc howdy agrees yk yk #they're all terrible btw. howdy laughs at every single one. barnaby is on an emotional high. the rizz is strong w this one #one thing leads to another - barnaby says a terrible line essentially asking if howdy wants to ~come home with him~#but like. howdy agrees. and immediately the tone between them goes from lighthearted & joking to dead serious & tense #everything between them has gone unspoken until now but Now Theyre Saying It #suffice to say they leave the party early! they're giddy giggly lil bitches about it - acting like teens sneaking out yk yk #GOD THEY'RE SO FUCKING AGHHHHHH THROWING THEM FULL STRENGTH INTO A WOODCHIPPER #sorry. sorry. im calm now. thats a lie. i will proceed to explode #but anyway anyway #so that was a whole thing & basically long story short Barnaby has the morning of his dreams #Howdy makes him and Wally pancakes and they all have a nice quiet breakfast together. The Domesticity🤌#im gonna go shove my head in a blender now. excuse me #rambles from the bog #wh modern human au #gonna leave that as the tag #but yeah their story is just! slow! its a soft descent!#meanwhile frank & eddie are stumbling through their feelings like newborn fawns #but yeah and howdy & barnaby continue to take their time #its a while before barnaby is like 'hey wanna move in with us?'#howdy '....yeah sure'#and Boom! Howdy moves in!#and they actually get married a while later without anyone but wally knowing. they do it for tax reasons initially.#since they're not ready to be Married married but! they! want! the! benefits!#they keep their own last names and dont have rings bc again! theyre not ready for that yet!#FUCK IM OUTTA TAGS I HAD MORE TO SAY! TUMBLR INCREASE YOUR TAG COUNT! AGH

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derpinette · 25 days

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SPERG YOUR HEART OUT

#EVERYONE #NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#& FOREVER #i love it when my friends &/or mutuals post about their interest & Passions i will like your posts but really i Loved them.#i deleted some tags because they might be interpreted as weird(er than usual) but 0_0 i am ♯Passionate about ♯Passion (for fashion - Bratz)#still kind of feel like a worthless human being but i secured another hangout in like a week so yayyy ^_^#I GET TO BOTHER SOMEONE TOO NOW i just wish people did that to me too why am i like always the one raving #literally have to beg my friend to give me updates on her things even if i normally hate it even i go out of my way to look for things #for us to discuss -_- GIRL please i am for real not just faking for politeness who do you think i am I WANT TO KNOW #so effin excited OMG i have like so much to say & the greatest thing is that this girl has no knowledge at all about my Thing #so i can explain from the very beginning You literally have no idea how much i practiced the conversation in my head #ever since she told me & she said she wanted me to go on & talk about it more i have been Devising My Plan #OMG YAYYYY ^_^_^_^_^_^ AIMU SO HEPI AAARRRGHHHHHGSJDJSHSJDHSHSG #& OFC i had to plug it in the first time i met her in person i just could not help myself there was an NF on that day & i told her i wanted #to catch it i had to go in the end for a different reason & BTW it was such a whiplash the show itself was so fun but the winner... 0_0 NO.#next i will ask her about berserk & maybe even read it so we can talk about it because she really likes it #i dropped it when i was 14 because the laptop i was using to read it was complete crap Just like mine is RN #like a section of my keyboard is completely dead T_T so i have to use the on-screen one...

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sygneth · 10 months

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The confirmation that Harry's squad abandoning him is just poor writing just so the player can continue doing shit on their own is the fact that it never gets explained. Harry even tries to bring it up but kim just. Shuts him up about about it is so so sooooo absurd. Jean's inaction could also harm him but he just makes harry drop the subject? C'mon folk it could have not been more obvious that the writers simply did not come up with that part 💀 I wish people would just take things as they are: de is not really a detailed novel. It's a fuckin game. With excellent writing, excellent characters and worldbuilding, but still a game

I don't think there is much to add here anon. This is a very solid point.

EDIT: I figured it may be worth adding that this is about the posse leaving on the day of the mercenary tribunal, not before the events of the game

#asks #anon #really #working on big complex projects often in a team taught me one thing and that is that you never get to think about everything #sometimes you notice a mistake halfway through and you can either go back and redo half of your work #or say 'screw it nobody will notice that we will give a blatant explanation here and it'll be ok'#and this honestly gives me this exact vibe #as if they had a lot of the plot already written and then someone noticed that this here this will raise questions #so they went with 'okay maybe it will raise less questions if the main character asks about it'#so they decided to give the most indirect and blatant response possible lmao because the real response would be 'narrative purposes'#(that would be hella breaking the fourth wall btw Kim looking player straight in the eyes saying 'narrative' as if he was possessed or sth #and then HDB goes like 'what' and Kim goes like 'what' and they drop topic before if gets even weirder)#(sorry i think i just got possessed)#ANYWAY #“nothing to add here” I said and continued to write another tag essay.#disco elysium #is that jeanposting still?

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tennessoui · 11 months

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would it be annoying or fun for y’all if I were to write a “choose your own adventure”/“vote on what happens to the characters next” fic vía tumblr polls?🫣🤔

#asks from me to you #you can say annoying btw #file this under anything kit can think of that isn’t working on her wips #(though in my defense I wrote like 2k each of the last chapters of Stacy’s mom au and if you love me let it remain unnamed #while on transit in Italy so there!)#anyway the current vision is like I would make a poll with 3 options of a premise #each option would be a specific combo of things like:#gffa senator Skywalker smuggler obi-wan reverse ages #modern au same age college interns enemies to lovers #fantasy world elven scholar obiwan sibject of his current fascination human general Skywalker #(these would not actually be the premises but these are example premises)#and then I write a ficlet for the one with the most votes #and then theres another poll at the end of the ficlet (or the ficlet is linked in the next poll)#about what action the characters should take next #and the most votes gets the next ficlet in the au

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sysig · 1 month

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Special Counseling (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #DAX #These are especially funny to me because I remember when I first looked through the gallery and was Deeply Distressed at ZEX like this #I didn't know the context yet so the betrayal was uncomfortable! As intended but unexpected haha ♪#I love ZEX! Why would he do such a thing! Now I know <3 <3 And now I'm doing the same thing! Lol #The thought of ZEX never getting his own body again even for just a night even on the Institute's side ah it hurts #At least he'd finally have visual proof that it's Possible he never even saw Tanaka so for all he knows it was just another ''vision''#But of DAX <3 Of him getting his body back but turning on ZEX about it ough ♥ And the fallout!! Agh!!!#The setups the payoffs <3 <3 <3 #I wrote a bit more for both scenarios actually - of DAX actually pointing a laser pistol at ZEX and threatening to kill him #Thus why ZEX is questioning him the next day - was that brainwashing or would you really do that??#ZEX of course wouldn't have flinched at the time - and DAX's motivation either way that this is a fate unbefitting of his Admiral #''He lowered his head feelers in a sympathetic way. 'I can hardly stand to watch you waste away in that form. If you would ask it of me...''#Weh ;;#Can you tell it's a bit inspired by We Do What is Necessary hehe <3 #Which btw you've read right it's so good everyone needs to read it <3 #Remind me to make a separate post about that one actually I had the oddest reread experience :3c Fascinating ✨#Anyhow lol #I actually like how I've written their next-day meetup after DAX returns to his senses more than I've drawn it hm :P #I think it's a specific line that sticks out to me - VUX communication through human bodies my beloved ;;♥#''He ran a hand down DAX's arm - a poor approximation of the gesture he was trying to emulate but he was sure DAX would understand.#They'd exchanged it enough times before.'' Hhhhhh ❤️💕💖💞💗 ;;/♥ I love them <3 <3 #Also forehead touches and holding face and hands and jfdsalkfd the tenderness and loyalty aghhahgah <3 #I really like the idea of VUX lacing fingers with each other as a kind of twining/head tendrils holding replacement ♥#The most intense one-eyed eye contact hehe <3

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tittyinfinity · 1 month

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when you're disabled, being financially abused by your parents never ends

#so you're telling me that you got 5k this week from claiming me on your taxes #while hounding me about how i haven't been contributing enough to bills & expenses (i was giving you what you asked for!)#and none of it will go to me because ''i owe it to you for living with you''#despite the fact that 5k nearly covers the mortgage for the entire YEAR #DESPITE THE FACT THAT I COULD PAY OFF MY OWN LANDLORD AND MOVE OUT #btw i literally only let her claim me on her taxes bc she said she'd be giving it to me. and this is the third time she has done this.#promised me it wouldn't happen again. she used me.#she does this thing a lot #where she acts like she's helping people but only does it to hold it over their head #i told her i could have been paying her more for bills but she told me i didn't have to #and now she's complaining that i don't pay enough #i will literally tell her not to help me sometimes #bc she'll do it anyway and then later on you hear ''i did something nice for you so if you don't help me with a favor right now...#...I'll do everything I can to sabotage your life''#so she literally only does it for personal gain #so that she can have an excuse to feel like she's better than all of her kids and that we're just stupid ungrateful assholes #all 3 of her kids could be telling her that her logic is wrong and she won't budge #another thing that happened recently is that she told me i needed to pay her back for a gift she bought me that got stolen #which is also something she does a lot. buys me things without asking and then telling me i have to pay her back for them #i had way more stuff stolen that i had personally bought #i didn't ask for that fucking keyboard sorry. I ALREADY HAD ONE.#and she's been going on about how ''she's the one who's ACTUALLY being affected''#she is FULLY AWARE that the dude she lets over has stolen from us MULTIPLE times #but apparently it's my responsibility to pay her back for something out of my control #STOP BUYING ME SHIT AND TELLING ME I DON'T NEED TO PAY YOU MORE IF YOU'RE JUST GONNA HOLD IT OVER MY HEAD #IF I'M SUCH A BURDEN MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR ME TO LEAVE #.bdo

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loveoaths · 1 year

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most of the fandom debates about who is responsible for what in Star Wars would be solved if folks remembered that the characters are not real and their choices were made by real life people with on-screen time constraints and deadlines

#which is not to say there isn’t a value in asking questions and engaging with characters in the text; far from it #but every time there is an argument that is like ‘well why didn’t yoda spend 30 minutes explaining therapy to anakin’#I’m just like. because it’s a movie. because that’s not how a screenplay works. because George is not a good writer.#an attempt was made. not a good one. but an attempt.#like we don’t have to like yoda’s response but I can confidently tell you there is no world in which the narrative momentum stopped and yoda #leads anakin through a CBT session. y’all.#fandom wank.#i’m aware this is Nothing but this one specific thing is annoying to me sometimes lmfaooo sorry #walkie talkie.#don’t even get me started on the arguments that the Jedi suck for letting palpatine be alone with anakin lmfaooo THEIR WORLD IS NOT OURS #WHERE EVERY DAY IS ANOTHER DAMN DISCOVERY of politicians doing freak shit. in character we know if they had any reason to believe palps was #Like That they would not let anyone near him #also. ALSO. using comics to justify shit that happens in the movies can sometiems work on a character level but we gotta be aware that we ha #have different writers with different points of view who are working RETROACTIVELY to make things fit and fill out undefined timelines #idk where I’m going with this but. tldr. I don’t know what we gain by going in circles about the same topic in an unuseful way #no shade to my mutuals btw. I’m just. I don’t get it.

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hazeism · 4 months

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hi!! wanted to ask if you have any favorite books, either that you've read recently or of all time. Your prose is insane and I need to broaden my own vocabulary so if you have any book recs, fiction or nonfiction, I'd love to know :')

Hii :D ! ahaha, what a well-timed question; lately I've become the kind of guy who just really wants to talk about what people are reading, or are planning to read, and responding in kind, so thanks for giving me an opportunity to indulge that, haha. What a wicked invention the printing press was!!! (Also--thank you!! I'm glad my prose is to your taste. I'm happy !💕)

If you don't mind, I'll put a cut on this right away, because I know I'm very talkative, but let me put a TLDR above for all the novels/authors I mention here. Disclaimer also that I am kind of a dunce (I think you know this) so I like silly shit a lot of times . please be nice to me adfhbjkdg. :D

(No nonfiction also because I'm a frivolous and unworldly little sprite or something but if you want straight philosophy [which counts] come back and I'll do my Top Ten Epic Platonic Dialogues Compilation for you .)

TLDR: Read any UKLG you get your hands on, Cain by Jose Saramago, or any Saramago (though maybe not Skylight, which is not a good introduction to Saramago), very much enjoyed Sartre's The Age of Reason recently, Shadow & Claw or The Fifth Head of Cerberus by Gene Wolfe. If you feel like it, come off anon and tell me what you like, so I can give more tailored recommendations!!

Now if you're asking for favorites, like just the particular and arbitrary objects of my partiality, that stir my stupid little heart, the true answer is probably UKLG's The Farthest Shore, just because it is very special to me. I can't, of course, in good conscience, recommend the third novel of a six-novel fantasy series to someone (but of course read Le Guin, everyone should be reading Le Guin, it's dire for universal soteriology that we all read Le Guin; You'll probably get told to start with Left Hand of Darkness, and that's pretty solid. I liked The Lathe of Heaven as well. And if you read any Le Guin it doesn't hurt to pick up a copy of the Tao. I love the Tao man.)

Some friendlier recommendations, though:

José Saramago is someone I really consider peerless; There's no way to pick up a Saramago and not know who's written it. Cain is a bit drier, a bit more abrasive (almost accusatory, in that particular way you'll find in a Buddhist parable) and bleak than some other Saramagos, but it's one I like (perhaps for the trite reason that I like bucolic atmospheres and Classical antiquity as a setting) so it's the one I'll put forward.

Uhh, I've also been enjoying Sartre's Roads to Freedom lately, starting with The Age Of Reason. I'm partway through the second novel and umm... despite all the other things you could say about Sartre, lmfao, let it not be said that he is not a serious literary force. Serious is maybe the only word for it. Dire, too. I keep a commonplace book, so usually I take excerpts, but this was the first time in memory that I felt compelled to commit entire pages, ahah (I just took pictures though, fuck copying all that).

If you're itching for esoteric language, Shadow of the Torturer (as usually collected with Claw of the Conciliator in a single omnibus edition titled Shadow & Claw; the first of the give-or-take five volume Urth series) by Gene Wolfe will scratch you BLOODY. If you're particularly fussy, you might be irritated by your compulsion to Google, but I find it really makes the experience when you type in a word and the only results are "what the fuck did Gene Wolfe mean by this?" hahaha; Honestly, though, those kinds of complaints are borne from a lack of immersion, but you'll notice pretty quickly that the verbiage is a pretty crucial vehicle OF the immersion.

It may or may not become a commitment, though, if you like Urth enough to want to read through, so if you want Wolfe without the strings--though less of the exciting vocabulary, which is pretty necessarily constrained to Urth--I'd really highly recommend The Fifth Head of Cerberus (the novella OR the novel, I mean the former is volumized in the latter so just start it and if you feel like stopping then stop, haha). Mr. Terminal E is incredible but I scrape enough time out of my daily life to gush about his crazy literary density so I won't do it again here (you should ask my coworker, lmfao, who one time went "stop, hold on, hold on." because my face started getting really red while I was explaining to him some Wolfean gesture). If you read any Wolfe, and I mean ANY Wolfe, because his permatypes and his manipulations of them are endlessly interesting, feel free to come back and chat with me over it!!!

I guess I have to disclaim that my habit is mostly to pick through an author's corpus over a course of, usually, a couple years, and then sometimes I'll read things that will inform my understanding of the genre conventions or currents that the author is writing in (been enjoying Golden Age sci-fi recently)--it's not really as deliberate of a process as it sounds, but I think if you were to map my habits, that's the landscape of it. This means, though, that my reading is actually pretty narrow in scope, and I am not very well read or very knowledgeable in general (who is, in this economy) but it does mean that of the authors I do like, I can probably find the novel that'll work best for your taste.

If you want to come off anon, or I guess just leave another message, haha, (or if someone else wants to, idgaf, we're all friends here at tumblr user hazeism) describing the things you like or look for in a novel I can probably give you a more relevant recommendation. I've been dosing people up a lot lately tbh, it's like a parlor trick I've been doing; I have a conversation with someone and afterwards they'll have a PDF with a relevant Asimov story in their messages, hahaha. I can't help myself sometimes.

Come back anyway, though, if you read anything I talked about, okay? I want to hear about it 🥺

And alsooo (turning to face the audience) if anyone ever wants to put recs in my inbox (or my dms : ) slow replies though sorry I'm a hermit) I'd be happy to take 'em down. Can't guarantee I'll read them in a timely manner, or that you'll ever find out if/when I do, but it's good for me to leave my comfort zone.

#also not what you asked but a thing that i find always pertinent is the fact that synonyms are a scam #no two words ''mean'' and by mean I mean Convey Meaning Serve Function Perform Their Obligations In Continuity Or Discontinuity etc the sam #thing. if two words meant the same thing they would be the same word and even that's a bit of a trap (though i guess there is allure in the #potential scenario in which you are able to so precisely construct the surrounding matter of a sentence that you can get a word to repeat #its exact sensibility when being reused--usually when you are reusing a word you are manipulating it to throw light into an alternate facet #i think maybe it seems like i have an extensive vocabulary (i can't say if I do or not) because I trot out all manner of words in all manne #of contexts. under that pretense. or maybe I am a douchebag who wants to live in the world of forms who knows #sorry for all my me btw your first mistake though was looking at me and going Yeah I bet he has both a meaningful answer AND the ability to #convey it. like no sorry. you'll have to pick through the charnel field again. one million words curse #anonymous #ask #mine #bet you were waiting for me to tell you to read asimov well no. don't feel compelled to do that. i mean don't let me stop you (at the momen #I need them to live so I won't judge you but dhfkudh) i mean if you're currently in a place where reading is difficult (we'veall been there #then his mission of clarity makes his books sublimely digestible impossibly easy to read they're comfortable novels without being totally #unstimulating andthey can in fact be very stimulating if you give them the room to proliferate in your brain . but the thing about asimov i #the best things I find are Daneel (who is a scam and will ruin your life) and HIS PERMATYPEESS guys I love permatypes lately but it's hard #to get the texture of the Asimovian permatypes (muttering about the continuum from fisher through terens) and really luxuriate in them unle #ss you read one fucking million novels . so if you feel like doing that do it but if you don't. don't.#i've been getting so many asks lately (i mean. three. but before that another three!) and it's ruining my icy and aloof image . because i a #a motormouth. and now I'm going to stop typing!!!!!!!!!

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kelprot-old · 1 year

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i feel like i look at shit like the backrooms and what the internet has done 2 it and i go ok. how many times are we gonna deep-fry concepts in irony while just like fucking. wringing them of any potential subtlety or whatevr the fuck

#i say the backrooms since it's an easy example of this #a cool-ish concept that grew in popularity until it became this inflated husk of just kinda. nothing #iirc it started out as a sorta like ''hey endless halls of surface-level familiarity but No Really They're just Endless''#while maybe not the most Super Incredible Deep and Full Of Meaning Thing (at least without like. tearing into it) it was still an -#- interesting idea. and i think. while it makes sense. it's still disappointing to see what it got reduced to in the end #it still has value ofc. it's stupid silly fun #but part of me still feels. frustrated that lots of these things dont gain mass appeal until it's like. SCARY MONSTER CHASE!!! WHATTT!!!!#idk smthn about how people simultaneously enjoy this ''new'' version of the backrooms for its simplicity while also showing weariness of it #like in the post. it just feels like a concept deep fucking fried in irony. the original purpose was lost and turned into simple horror #its just like. 2 million roblox clone games ''ESCAPE SIRENHEAD IN THE BACKROOMS!!!''#this isnt me asking people to all enjoy the original version of the concept it's more me jsut like rambling or fucking whatever #something about how warped things have to become before they can be paraded around with their head on a stick #like girl that is a false self!!!! you are celebrating and simultaneously mocking this freak evil clone twin !!!!#^^ nonsensical ramblings. im gonna go make another cheese toastie #idgaf abt this stuff btw. hope thats clear. every day i spin a wheel of 10 trillion topics and pick one to throw a truck at

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virtualbeetle · 8 months

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Hello there! I saw your pen sketch post, and I do love low-effort $5 crazy sketches. Are you still offering them?

Yep! I'm about to head for bed for the night but feel free to go ahead and send details for me to do them tomorrow :>

#im trying to force myself to be looser with my art but i can only think of so many things to draw lately u_u #so far ive mostly been drawing ocs and from life (redrawing pics i took in yellowstone) but i want more variety #what better way than to have someone pay me to draw something they tell me to draw so i dont have to think abt it LOL #and also to draw without thinking about it Even More #also i hope u dont mind i publish this in case anyone else would also be interested :>#but yeah send me another ask or a dm about what you'd like me to draw for you #and tomorrow when i confirm I Can Do That For You i will accept payment at paypal.me/virtualbeetle !#up to your discretion at what point you send payment btw! i wont start things til i have payment but i expect most people #will probably want to talk things through at least a little bit first lol. unless the prompt is super vague on purpose for whatever reason #ok im rambling i need to sleep .

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stormyoceans · 1 year

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I loved vv episodes but i think i would prefer if this child was from other universe (if they wanted to show us that they still have time and talay is not ready and even tho puen is hella ready he'll continue to support talay and wait for him and achieve his own dreams too) I loved jigsaw but when he said i want to go home now... it was too sad. he thought about his parents for god knows how long and missed them, even if he liked being with puen and talay. this is the only thing I would change

i understand, anon, i really do, i always tend to get really protective about kids, even if it's just fiction, so i still want to smack tup and tou over the head for making jigsaw go through something like that, especially after he expressed the wish to go home. at first i really wished they had gone for something different too, but the more i rewatch the episodes the more i think i get why they decided to go with this storyline

i've mentioned this before, but i do believe the alternate universe is a part of puen and talay's life that it's now over and that won't get revisited again outside of their memories. it's also why i've always been sure that we were never going to see friend credits or aoufuse again in the our skyy episodes, because puen and talay will always remain attached to that time, but they've also moved on since then. so with hindsight im just sitting here like well of course the kid was never gonna be from the alternate universe, that chapter is closed for good. the other thing is, i think jigsaw being tup's nephew was the best compromise between not making things too heartbreaking while also showing that having a kid is not a way to fix a relationship. the main complain i got about the episodes is that people aren't comfortable with a child being used like that, and maybe i /am/ delusional but i kinda assumed that was the point of the episode? jigsaw doesn't magically solve puen and talay's problems (they're still having trouble adjusting their schedules and finding the time for other things outside of work), what makes it better is the knowledge that they still want to be with each other no matter what. yes, being with jigsaw does help them reach that conclusion, but he isn't a solution, and i think the show makes it pretty clear that it was wrong to use him like one

however, im aware that, as much as i try to be objective about everything i watch, my love for vice versa makes me very biased and way more forgiving than i probably should ;;;;;; it also does help that this /is/ fiction, so some things im willing to look past or just not take as seriously as i would in rl, but i definitely understand if people aren't comfortable with this storyline and it's completely valid to wish it had gone differently!!!!

#IF GYO HAD BEEN THERE NONE OF THIS NONSENSE WOULD HAVE HAPPENED BTW IM JUST SAYING #also another thing that helps me deal with it is the knowledge that all of them do love jigsaw a lot #and aren't doing this with any malicious intent #but im not condoning the behavior and all in all it's probably the only thing this show did that im not thrilled about #it doesn't ruin my love for it tho and i hope it can be the same for you #okay im shutting up now sorry i just don't know if i were able to explain myself like i wanted ;;;;;#vice versa #m: ask

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daz4i · 2 years

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read a joker palace au that was pretty good but i also couldn't get quite into to cause the point ended being like "joker only really feels free when he's with akechi everyother phantom thief he wears a mask" and idk i like akeshu but i don't like the idea that only akechi gets joker or that the other phantom thieves like don't care enough? idk

but basically : bold to assume joker isn't in love with literally all his friends and he feels the most free whenever they're together while also puttting on a mask for each of them(even akechi) because he's scared they'll leave if he doesn't

( this can tie back into the joker siblings hcs >:3c! he feels like he has to prove themselves!)

OH MY GOD YEAH I HATE WHEN PEOPLE DO THAT

i actually have a whole rant abt this bc it’s making me way too irrationally angry and i’m trying to restrain myself from getting into it rn lmao

BUT YES YOU’RE SO RIGHT BESTIE why wouldn’t joker not feel free around his friends. what made him gain back his rebellion after yaldy ordered the twins to execute him if not his friends. ofc he loves them he wouldn’t go to all these lengths if he didn’t love them

and ofc he’s putting on a mask with them as well, bc that’s just how humans work, we all have different masks for different situations that’s where the whole concept of persona came from in the first place! but ESPECIALLY in the case of a person who’s scared to disappoint others or scared of being betrayed (if his in-game dialogue options are anything to go by)

i THINK i know what fic you’re talking about and it’s a good one (writing wise, and the palace itself is good) but you really have to power through the anti-thieves stuff in it to enjoy it lol

#me: i'm not going to rant about this. / me: AND ANOTHER THING #i can go for much longer abt this topic bc i am full of rage. but i won't. unless i'm asked to or get bored or inspired idk #sorry if i sound aggressive or smth btw i wanna be clear that it's not @ you but abt the whole anti-thieves thing akjsdkfhg

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yuriyuruandyuraart · 2 years

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ah well gosh hi???

in what i said was gonna be a one day break from, well, life tbh, i seemingly realized that i don't just have school coming SOON, but that i wasn't prepared to wake up at 2pm to find out i only have a few days left of total free time not spent struggling and stressing out over exams of all things

so like any average person i went and made plans with friends to hang out and get my mind off of everything- and while it was good while it lasted, i really wanted to be, yknow, clear

i have artworks at the ready, and if i ever become desperate enough to start getting a hang on drawing with a mouse all the time i might as well, but as things stand i really do not know what the heck i am doing-

i'll try my hardest to at least look for a way to fix the pen cause that's just the most important and expensive part of the damaged stuff, but i'm thinking the cable is perma-broke so i'll have to look for a way to replace it

to cut right to the chase: i have some art i can post. but i dunno when, if, or which to post because most of them have some context that i would've normally been all too eager to explain, but as things stand? man i don't think i could muster the energy to try

so? i dunno yall- i mean i could start writing again? i've entertained the idea long enough and this might be just the opportunity to finally get some practice without getting distracted by drawing :'D

i could do small stuff with a mouse if i feel like sharing some art, but the illustrations? i feel like i can only post those once i feel a bit more alive mentally and physically to interact with others without feeling so drained all the time (but knowing that school's coming, i can't really promise anything :'))

thanks a lot for the sweet words and patience guys- it means a lot that you won't immediately, idk, ditch this blog once you realize i might not post much if not at all (hopefully not gosh) for an undetermined amount of time? you really made me realize this wasn't as bad as my mind's been pushing me to think,

so trust me i WILL bounce back and reblog stuff and have entire essays in your tags eventually- i just need to stop feeling like it has to be today, or tomorrow, or any days afterwards, just that it will happen when i feel like it<3

#rambling #delete later?#it feels so funny to get bothered by something that would be trivial to future me in like...idk a year?#i'm not as upset as i thought i'd be too- just mostly numb i guess..#also the reason why i can't bring myself to post the artworks i had- can i really talk about how much fun i had drawing them?#when i'm barely wrapping my head around the fact that i can't no more? and for an uncertain amount of time where i'll be too busy #too tired and too short on money to even think about drawing in the first place? i don't think i wanna get used to that but well #if there's one thing i can take from these vacations is that while you guys can't see it i really did have fun improving on my art #and gosh do i love what i'm doing so much that i personally wouldn't mind if it were just for me alone to see #but after sharing my ideas and works into the wild and watching people gather around to share ideas back-#i can say i like my art and the why is because it makes me happy! and it apparently does for you guys too so why not share! >:)#i also guess one of the reasons i'm not as active is cause of the whole need to compose myself and find the time to breathe and enjoy #the works of the others and mine and think of ways to express my feelings to everyone #and trust me sometimes i wish i could just write nothing and post/reblog- but it feels so empty #if i wanted to do that i'd make another account #no i want to talk about what i love with y'all and if i start rambling well no one's complaining!#if i see something made with the thought of me behind it then ain't no way in hell i'm not climbing rooftops yelling how much i love it #so if i somehow don't do that then i'm either too busy to even check tumblr- dead- or doing even worse somehow- so nothing against you!#guess i had that on my mind for a while now so please! i'm not ignoring you on purpose! i'm probably too wrapped up in my stuff to react #same for asks btw i am not joking there's so many and i live in constant shame xD :')#if you made it this far i am so sorry for yet another long post but i feel it's justified a little x) goodnight everyone! have a nice day<3

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evergardenwall · 2 years

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saw a post (meant to be a community inside joke / light-hearted, so not to take as a resource at all, but that still got stuck in my mind) earlier which implied that thinking romantic love was friendship + sexual attraction was an alloaro experience and like..... i relate to that a lot but i personally don’t resonate with the split attraction model much (i feel like it’s not always clear enough to describe an experience and can become too vague by being hyperspecific, if this makes sense?) and i don’t recognize myself in the ‘allosexual aromantic’ descriptor specifically either. isn’t that feeling of also being best friends with your partner just a common experience? like i read a lot of queer people in general talking about this....

#the thing about me when i get a crush on someone is that i Want To Be Besties With Them because i find them so cool 😭#and additionally wouldn’t mind kissing them #but also. i can’t tell i am in love with someone or just adore them as a friend because i also just get kind of fixated on ppl when i become #friends with them?#*whether #and then i can start imagining scenarios when i fall in love with them or in which we end up dating....even though i do not actually love #them... like i’m ‘what if this happened’ even though i know i don’t feel attracted to this specific person at all #idk. it kind of feel like compulsory romantic daydreaming sometimes idk if anyone can relate #but also i’m clearly aware that i am NOT getting enough enrichment in my enclosure these days lol #however re: attraction: what made me think i might be alloaro even tho i don’t relate with the label is that time when one of my best #friends — whom i had a crush of sorts on — asked me what having feelings for her was like and. besides the usual friend hyperfixation i #couldn’t describe anything specific except. except. that i felt physically attracted to her 😭#-> my beef with the alloaro label is that it suggests that the friend hyperfixation and the attraction are completely separate things when #they still felt linked to me. even though i got hyperfixated on friends before and imagined romantic scenarios before without the addition #of the actual attraction. idk #i do feel like that sometimes people will describe their aspec labels in a way that feels like fancy homophobia but that’s another topic #(that requires nuance btw i do NOT think that aspec identities are inherently homophobic & exclusionists are not welcome here 🔫)#anyway!! if any of you guys relate to this.....feel free to leave asks....#i would love to exchange with other people about this :’)#entries

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britneyshakespeare · 2 years

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three thoughts

1) drawing myself in the mirror, i expected, would be very hard w my body image issues. they are deeply ingrained from childhood and though i cope w them better nowadays they are not gone, and they have taken me to very dark places before. i’ve mainly coped w it by not looking at myself for too long since fixating on my appearance can make me spiral. but once i sat down and actually started drawing, it wasn’t that bad at all. i didn’t have the fear of whether or not my arms were too big or my belly too folded since i was only thinking about how my shoulder was aligned with my collar bones and at what angle those are in relation to my elbow, etc. looking at the plain contours of my body in relation to each other, objectively, that wasn’t so bad at all since i wasn’t worried about whether the product was “beautiful” as much as if it was accurate. and, i wasn’t looking at my body as a whole until i finished the drawing. i was looking at parts of them, though not the parts i normally fixate negatively on. i was just trying to navigate the landmarks. it was kind of healing to realize i could do this. normally when i feel detached from my body, it makes me resentful of the fact that i live in one. today i was not resenting my body but just looking at it for what it was. a thing that exists. like anything else.

2) wow, i mean. i always know i’m flat-chested. but i’m flat-chested.

3) my back hurts.

#body image cw #tales from diana #the flat-chested thing is not an insecurity of mine btw i don't need anyone commenting on it.#i didn't think about it while i was drawing since i was just focusing on the form #perhaps because it was only contour lines and didn't really have any shading to give any more dimensions #idk #and i did two drawings. but the first one was waaaaay better than the second.#we were supposed to take an hour to an hour and a half on each #the first one i took almost two hours on but i think it looked pretty good #it didn't end up looking like what i thought it was going to but im satisfied w the result. not proud but satisfied #the second one... i don't acknowledge that bastard #my back was hurting and the adderall was wearing off and my pose was way less comfortable. a lotta factors at once #that resulted in it being a worse drawing. inferior. you can still tell there's effort but i was compromised #and i clocked out at about 40 minutes bc i felt stuck #i had done all the major body parts and it was also not turning out how i thought it would #but whatever.#maybe i should ask someone to model for me bc modelling one's WHOLE BODY for oneself is rather difficult and compromising #like you can only do so many poses and i only have so much space and so many mirrors #my mirror was on the ground which was another thing that made it hard #and i was cold from being in the attic in my undies for so long. whaddaya gonna do

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