evergardenwall

[evergardenwall]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

#i actually needed to read this……thank you op #mental health #adhd

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im sure ur gonna do great on the exams!

im okay, also a bit tired

thank you ;A;;;;

🤝🤝🤝

#replies #mercury

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losing the idgaf war badly (I want to be in love and to have someone be in love with me)

#about me

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#close tie between kiki’s delivery service and ponyo #polls #ghibli

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Vincent

#gifs #art #van gogh

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i am going through horrors right now (i have exams in two days but have been unable to study for the last couple of weeks, i’ve been thinking about one (1) person non-stop for the last couple of weeks as well, and i’m terribly sleepy right now)

#it’s really annoying because they REALLY are on my mind 24/7 and we just saw each other this week but i already miss them im going to kms #i am COOKED #entries

[evergardenwall]

how are you?

feeling very sleepy right now 😔 and my exams begin in two days 😔😔😔💔💔💔 and you?

#replies #mercury

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hellooo!

HELLO :-)

#replies #mercury

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musings on oranges

Alessia Di Cesare, Romero Barros, Wendy Cope, David Stevenson, Rebecca O’Connor, Andrea Kantrowitz, Nina LaCour, Augustin Rouart, Ocean Vuong, Chris Krupinski, Wendy Cope, Mickie Acierno, Jacques Prévert, Robert Spear Dunning, Wendy Cope

buy me a coffee

#I LOVE YOU I’M GLAD I EXIST!!!!!!!!! #parallels #art #poetry #love #favorite

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🎵I will never

Free you

Hand in hand 🎵

#art #dungeon meshi

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fairy tale

#art #dungeon meshi

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recently at a bar someone told me i seem like id have a lot of pdfs

#about me

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when you're crying about the cancellation but remember how good YOI was to you

#art #yuri on ice

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I hate you mappa genuinely. I adore him with all my heart, I wanted to hear and see his story

#art #yuri on ice

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wspomnienia

#art #dungeon meshi

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Commission for @waezi2 of Pearl and Bismuth cutting a rug ❤️

Artist Info

#art #steven universe

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Some more “what’s in my bag” posts from flickr. We have always been the same…..

#gets hit by a violent wave of nostalgia #photos #items of interest