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invisibletinkerer · 5 years

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Fic: 30 Seconds Later (chapter 17)

Chapter 1 – Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 – Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 – Chapter 6 – Chapter 7 – Chapter 8 – Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18 - Chapter 19

Length: ~5000 words

AO3: archiveofourown.org/works/13715520/chapters/43355552

The brightly pink futuristic communicator probably wasn’t controlled by a sapient artificial intelligence or captured fairy, despite Stanley’s disingenuous claims to the contrary. It did, however, seem to involve a magical force field that created buttons based on the symbols that appeared on the screen. The screen – which, unlike any TV or computer screen Stanford had ever laid his eyes on, didn’t seem to have any raster whatsoever. Or any CRT depth requirements.

There were also purple kittens and little hearts everywhere.

It was mesmerizing, but also vexing. He had more of an idea how the alien drones worked than this thing. Perhaps Fiddleford would—no. He shut that thought down.

Stanley was no help either – his reaction to Ford’s wide-eyed quizzical stare was an amused smile and a shrug. “Beats me,” he said. “I could make something up about it if ya like.”

“No, thank you.” Ford sighed and handed the device back to his brother.

His old brother. Because this was the future. His old twin brother, whom, as it happened, he didn’t actually resent. Maybe he’d only ever wanted to resent him, as if that would make their estrangement easier to bear. Stanley was far from the only one with a tendency to make bad life choices.

Maybe Bill wouldn’t be able to destroy the world. Maybe Bill wouldn’t even be able to kill him. Perhaps Stanford Pines was stuck in the future and there was nothing about that he could understand.

It was too much – right now it was just too much. He’d figure it all out later.

If the sealed briefcase containing the rift bought him enough time.

Another deep sigh and he forced himself to his feet, one hand on the pillar for support. “I’m well enough to walk,” he told Stanley. “Let’s go home.”

* * *

Stan groaned involuntarily when he got back to his feet, the throbbing headache in the back of his head returning with some revenge for being ignored for so long, but he didn’t care. He still felt kinda drunk on the sort of relief that nerdy types like Poindexter here would probably call by some fancy name in Latin.

Ford didn’t hate him. Ford forgave him.

Ford was alive, the demon had scuttered off to wherever demons go, and Stan felt like there had been a weight around his neck that he’d been so used to carrying around that he’d hardly even noticed it until it was gone. Or at least it was eased to the point that he felt lightheaded. There might be a bit of a smile on his face that he just couldn’t get rid of, so nevermind if his head hurt a bit.

He kept close to his brother, ready to support him if he’d need it, but he seemed to be steady enough. The tranquilizer thing was probably wearing off completely as they walked. He barely seemed any worse off that he’d been this morning – not saying a lot, sure, except that that demon had been an outrageous liar.

And – praise the ancient alien overlords – Ford set a slow pace, hopefully actually thinking about conserving his strength for once.

It felt surreal that this whole thing had happened in a spaceship. The reflections from the flashlight in in Ford’s hand created moving, unreal shapes on the walls, blurring in and out of focus as his thoughts drifted. Stan hated those aliens. Buncha jerks, trying to arrest people for what? Post-mortem trespassing? Or would that would count as graverobbing? Nah, could hardly be robbing if you didn’t steal anything. Well. Didn’t steal much. This time.

It took a few moments before he noticed that Ford wasn’t at his side anymore, but a few steps ahead. Dammit, he was supposed to make sure his brother didn’t overexert himself before he was properly recovered. “Hey.”

Stanford stopped and turned around. “Stanley?”

“Don’t run off.”

“I wasn’t—” Ford paused. “I wasn’t running,” he repeated with a slight frown. “In fact, I was walking slower than I could have.” He raised his arms and flexed the fingers on his left hand to demonstrate. “The effect of the sedative has worn off almost completely.”

Stan scoffed at that. “Yeah, well, you’re still weak, and also hurt. So take it easy.”

Ford pulled his coat tighter around himself and gave Stan a strange look while he caught up. Hardly the wild-eyed paranoid stare of last night over tacos, but still suspicious.

“Stanley,” he said eventually. “There’s blood on your head.”

Stan reflexively put up a hand to the offending spot. The bump he’d gotten from crashlanding in that bubble prison thing protested the touch with another sting of pain, and Ford was right, there might be a bit of crusted blood in his hair. Crap.

“So I might be a tiny bit concussed,” he blurted. “No big deal, just a little headache. I’ve been through a lot worse in the boxing ring.”

Ford looked at him.

Stan looked back.

“That’s—”

“I’m not—”

Stan broke first. He burst out laughing. He’d all but forgotten about that head injury in his worry about Ford – and it really wasn’t a big deal, he knew what a serious concussion felt like, but yes, it was slowing him down – and now Ford was worrying about him. It was—it was stupid, and also, somehow, hilarious.

Ford cracked a smile, then finally chuckled drily, shoulders shaking. After a long moment where neither of them could get a word out, Ford finally pulled himself together. “Have I ever told you that you’re a knucklehead?”

“Careful, Poindexter,” Stan said, wiping his eyes with one hand and rubbing the bump on his head with the other. “You could almost start to think we’re related.”

“That would be a disaster.”

“You’re right about that one.” It was so easy. They were together again, after everything. Something in Stan’s stomach clenched, like he still couldn’t believe this was real, he’d done it and Ford was going to be okay. “I guess I could take a painkiller,” he added, putting the bad down. “Water would be nice, but we don’t have any left.”

Ford blinked. “What happened to it?”

“Used it up for—” Stan nodded towards what was under Ford’s shirt.

Ford’s expression closed up for a moment. “Ah.”

Stan found a pill in the rapidly emptying first-aid kit, swallowing it dry and hoping it would help. He offered a second pill to Ford, who took it after some hesitation.

Before he could pick up the bag, Ford grabbed the strap. “I’ll carry the bag the rest of the way,” he announced.

Stan put his hands over Ford’s and stopped him. “I have a bump and a headache – I’m not dying.”

“Neither am I, and you’ve been carrying it all day.”

Stan huffed. “You mean other than the hours I spent waiting for your unconscious butt to come back to the land of the living?”

“Yes. That—”

“Forget about it,” Stan said, taking the bag from Ford. “I’m still in better shape than you are.”

Ford threw his hands up with a frustrated grimace. “I was just trying to—”

“It’s not that heavy,” Stan said, pulling the strap over his shoulder. “But thanks for the offer, I guess?”

Ford’s shoulders slumped slightly. “You’re sixty, you have a concussion, and you’re still in better shape than me.” He folded his arms over his chest, clenching his fingers in the fabric of his coat.

“Yeah, well, you’re gonna recover and get as strong as you like, and I’m only gonna get older, so don’t be too jealous.” Stan grimaced and patted Ford on the back, earning him a slight twitch and then a sigh. “Come on, Sixer. Let’s get out of here.”

Of course, the problem with that plan was that ‘out’ also meant ‘up’. Stan didn’t say anything when they reached the first ladder – the one in the elevator shaft – but he stopped and gave a low whistle. He might have misremembered just how far down they had climbed, but better to be impressed than intimidated. He could do it – going up couldn’t be any worse than going down, a little bruising never stopped him before, and he was over his fear of heights anyway. But Ford had strained himself just walking too fast through the forest this morning, and being shot, possessed, and then unconscious for a few hours wasn’t the kinda thing that made people stronger. Maybe they should try to—

Ford was already squaring his shoulders, starting the climb before Stan had finished the thought. To be sure, it wasn’t like he could think of any realistic alternative, so Stan followed and hoped for the best. Maybe he just wanted to get it over with.

It wasn’t fun. It didn’t take long for Ford’s breathing to become audibly labored above him, and Stan could feel the strain in his own legs. At one point he accidentally looked down, and he wasn’t sure if that’s what triggered the nausea or if the concussion had something to do with it, but he hated the whole situation with a passion. His headache only grew worse and his fingers cramped around the rungs, eyes staring at the wall inches from his face.

His head bumped into something.

Seconds later, when Stan’s heartbeat and the throbbing in his head had both calmed down to the point where he could hear himself think, he realized that it had been Ford’s shoes. Ford had stopped right above him and wasn’t moving.

“Sixer?” Stan’s knuckles were white on the rung before his eyes. “You okay?”

“I made a mistake.” Ford’s voice was breathless, trembling with exhaustion.

Stan bit back an angry retort. He kind of felt like this climb was a mistake himself, but if Ford felt that way—He wouldn’t admit that if it wasn’t bad. Stan’s shoulders cramped even tighter than they had been. “Right,” was all he said.

Ford said nothing for several moments.

“You’re not allowed to fall,” Stan managed. He wouldn’t be able to catch him. More like they’d both be done for.

Maybe that would serve them right, but it didn’t make him feel any less sick.

“I don’t intend to,” Ford said. “I just—just need to rest for a bit.”

Stan stared at his own hands, for a moment completely unable to get his eyes to focus. “Sure. I can wait.” He sure couldn’t help. He could barely help himself, hanging above a void that would crush both of them to bloody pulps if they didn’t hold on.

It took the better part of an eternity, but they did finally reach the end of the ladder and the higher level of the spaceship. Ford crumbled against a piece of broken machinery, panting and trembling, and Stan found himself lying on the floor and trying to unclench his cramping hands after all that clinging to flimsy pieces of metal and trying not to fall to a very bloody death. He was mostly unsuccessful.

“You know,” he said hoarsely, “I told Mabel a while ago that ladders cause more deaths than guns. I mean—I made that statistic up, but I’ve decided I believe it.”

“That’s—not very scientific of you.”

“Still not a scientist, Poindexter.”

Ford breathed a quiet chuckle, then stayed silent for a while. Eventually, he said, “Do you remember that time when we went into that condemned office building on Gasoline Street? I think we were thirteen.”

“Yeah.” He could kinda see why Ford would think of that one. “I picked the lock, and you were really disappointed when it was already emptied out.”

“You were disappointed too.”

“Sad but true. No treasure that day.”

“So we decided to go to the top floor—”

Stan groaned. “Don’t remind me.”

They’d went up a rickety old staircase for five or so floors before a section of the support decided that the weight of two stomping boys was too much to bear. A whole section of the stairs had basically crumbled, leaving a gap of ten or fifteen feet right where Stan and Ford had been walking seconds ago. Stan had been in shock and refused to move a muscle for several minutes, though he distinctly remembered Ford snapping his fingers and saying something like “So that’s why the building was condemned!”

Getting back down had been the challenge, that time.

“Besides,” Stan added, “that wasn’t even a ladder.”

“No, it was just a broken staircase. But you hated that, too.”

Stan sighed and rolled over on his back, finally able to uncramp his arms and relax. “Yeah, I hated it.” And despite all that, it was a fond memory.

Ford took a deep breath. “Stanley—” He seemed to be hesitating.

“Yeah?”

“The ladder to the surface is even longer than this one. I might be able to make it if I have to, but—”

Stan hid his face under his hands. “—but that’s a big maybe,” he finished. “Yeah.” He took a deep breath of his own. “But we do have to get up there somehow, unless we wanna go without food and camp here tonight.”

“Not an option,” Ford said sharply.

“Yeah, agreed.” Stan sat up, slowly, supporting his arms on his knees. Maybe he could get Soos to— “—wait, what did you say?”

“I said there’s an alternative to climbing. And at this point I believe it would be easier on both of us.” He raised a hand slightly, watching it tremble, and sighed. “Relatively, of course, but I’ve done it before.”

Stan would definitely prefer not to bet both of their lives on that Ford could make another climb. He raised an eyebrow. “You saying we fly?”

“Correct.” Ford smiled slightly.

“Hate to break it to ya, Sixer, but we’re still people, not birds.”

“Well,” Ford said, patting down his trenchcoat like he was double-checking something. “I assume you still have the second magnet gun?”

“It’s in the bag.” A heartbeat. “Oh.”

Yeah, that thing Ford had done when he came after the prison bubble Stan was pretty much flying, wasn’t it? Not like either of them had been in a state to look for that gun afterwards, either, and he half expected Ford to blame him for it being lost.

“Good,” was all Ford said. “We’ll use that to pull ourselves up.”

Stan was totally comfortable with that. Not the slightest bit worried that it might be like falling upwards and splattering yourself against a distant ceiling instead of a distant floor.

Ford rubbed his arm and continued. “It’s not overly difficult. The critical part is to aim it right, and then to brace properly for impact.” He gestured vaguely for emphasis. “And of course, not to lose your grip on the gun.”

“So...” Stan tried to work around his gut feeling that said nope and think of what it actually meant. “Sounds like it takes a bit of strength.” Also like there’d be no second chances if you failed. “If you’re not strong enough to climb, are you sure ya—”

“Strength and stamina are different things,” Ford said in that familiarly annoying way that he’d always used to point out people’s small errors. “But,” he relented, “I admit I’m low on both.” He met Stan’s eyes for a moment. “Which is why I believe—I hope that we can do it together.”

It was somewhat terrifying, but in the end, Stan had to agree that climbing at this point wouldn’t be any less life-threatening, it would just drag it out for longer. And there was only one magnet gun, and like hell he would let Ford do it alone when even Ford himself admitted he might not make it.

Besides, Ford’s determination to do this thing was actually contagious. It would be a lot less grueling than another climb, and it would definitely get them up faster than any other possible plan.

Ford had to be the one to aim since he had some experience with doing this, but Stan was stronger, so he’d hold the gun’s handle, with Ford using his free hand to point it right. Ford’s right arm went over Stan’s shoulders and Stan used his left to hold onto Ford around the waist, trying but probably not succeeding in avoiding at least the alien blaster wound if not the infected cuts. Ford didn’t complain, though.

Stan might be clinging a little too hard as they raised the magnet gun.

“There,” Ford said, keeping Stan’s hand somewhat steady.

Stan pressed the trigger. He had exactly enough time to realize that he now knew what it felt like to be a bullet before they both slammed into the wall right below the ceiling and Stan’s headache jolted into a minor explosion that made him regret every single decision that took him to this point. That only lasted for the fraction of a moment it took before he realized that they were an absolutely ridiculous distance from the floor and that Ford’s full weight together with his own was too much for one sweaty hand on the handle of a science gizmo to hold up. Any other thought was replaced by a panicked scramble for foothold to support them.

Ford had aimed true. The ladder rungs were right there.

A second later Ford’s feet had found the ladder as well, and Stan could breathe again. Nevermind that they were packed together on the same part of the ladder, hanging right below the where the wall met the ceiling and the ladder entered the narrower chute – way too high to think about, and still a bit to go before the safety above.

“Whoa,” was all he could say.

“That’s—accurate.”

“You okay?”

“Yes. Are you?”

“Never better.”

“There seem to be—” Ford looked up. “Six rungs to go to get us up into the shaft.”

“And then we’ll zap to the top.”

Ford nodded seriously.

“This is gonna be awkward,” Stan muttered. Of course, that might have been a feature. The fact that it was awkward did distract a bit from the fact that it was dizzyingly high. And it was only six steps. Somehow they climbed them without losing track of either the ladder, the magnet gun or each other. Ford’s eyes were half-closed, focused on the task, and Stan could feel his own muscles stiffening again, but it just a little bit.

Once they were inside the chute it might not actually be safer, but it sure felt that way. Between the two of them and the duffelbag sitting on Stan’s back, it was cramped enough to almost seem snug.

Ford leaned his forehead against the wall for a moment while Stan looked up. The square of summer sky above was a warm blue, and not that far away now.

“I’m ready to get out of this dump,” he said and gave Ford a tired smile.

“It’s not a dump,” Ford said. “It’s a wreck.”

“Uh-huh.”

“But—Good.” Ford wrapped one arm around Stan’s back again, supporting himself partly on the chute wall and readying the magnet gun. “I’m ready to get out, too.”

The second jump felt less violent – maybe because it was shorter, or maybe the cramped space made them go slower, but in any case it didn’t hurt much at all. Stan pulled himself up onto the ground, then turned to give Ford a hand.

They both stumbled several steps away from the hole before promptly sitting down on the grass next to each other. Stan found himself chuckling softly. “There we go,” he said. “Ain’t no stopping the Pines.”

“Heh,” Ford said, then fell silent. He seemed to want to say something more, but it didn’t come out, so he closed his mouth again.

The silence was companionable, and Stan didn’t mind. The afternoon sunshine felt nice on his bare arms, even if it did outline a couple of new bruises very clearly.

“The rift is sealed,” Ford said eventually. “You’d need power tools to break it now.” He almost sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

“Yeah,” Stan agreed.

“Bill is going to be enraged.”

“Meh. What can he do about it?”

“I don’t know.” Ford shuddered, looking at his hands in his lap. “No doubt we’re going to find out.”

Stan shrugged it off. “You know,” he said, “We still need to get back home before we can eat.”

“Eat?” Ford blinked like he had forgotten that food was a thing. “Right. Yes.”

Ford insisted on covering up the entrance to the UFO again before they could leave, and once they were off, it was slower going than it had been in the morning. It was one thing to hike when you had slept and eaten and your stupid genius of a young twin brother was insisting that he was fine and even enjoying himself – but a bit different when you were tired and hungry and Ford’s face was carefully neutral even when he stopped again and again to lean against a tree, glaring warily at the eye-like marks on the birches and ashes.

Neither of them noticed that they were no longer alone until someone cleared their throat.

Stan practically jumped, and he could feel more than see Ford’s head whip to the side in a movement mirroring his own. A burly, bearded, red-haired man in a flannel shirt stared at the from between a few ashen trees.

“Stanford Pines!”

“Yeah, what’s—” Stan started, while Ford spoke at the exact same time, “Yes, I—”

Stan and Ford glanced at each other, then back at the lumberjack. Stan suppressed a groan.

“Is that—Boyish Dan Corduroy?” Ford whispered. He was tense, but there was some incredulousness in his voice, too.

“Don’t call him ‘boyish’ unless you want an axe through your head,” Stan mumbled back. “But yeah.” Not the most unlikely person to run into in the woods, but it still took some bad luck to cross paths with anyone out here. He’d hoped to put off explaining Ford’s presence to the townspeople at least until after he’d talked about it with Ford, which he’d been putting off because there were bigger fish in the barrel. Like demonic possession and rifts in reality. Right now, Stan’s headache was still going strong in the back of his head, and Ford was staring at the man like he half expected him to turn into a monster any second. Not the best of moments for introductions.

Without warning, Dan raised two overly muscular arms and roared. “I’m a prophet!”

Ford took two steps backwards, but Stan reflexively put a hand on his arm, stopping him from bolting. Turning his attention to Dan, Stan sighed theatrically and crossed his arms. “You’re a what now.”

“A prophet.” Dan grinned with a lot of teeth. “There was two of you in my dream, and now here you are!”

“That’s great,” Stan said, “But there’s still only one of me.” He flicked his head at Ford. “He’s my nephew.” The lie was natural, easy, but something inside his chest still ached when he didn’t say brother.

Ford twitched. His hands were hidden behind his back, and he still looked ready to run. “Ah,” he said. “Yes. Nephew.”

“I see.” Dan held out his hand, and Ford predictably refused to take it. Stan had started to realize that was a pattern with him now. Defusing it before Dan would take offence, Stan gestured smoothly at Ford and Dan. “Dan Corduroy – this is Stanford Pines. The younger,” he added with a small grin that he really didn’t feel. “Ford – this is Manly Dan Corduroy.”

“Nice to meetcha. I see your family has no imagination for names.”

“They really don’t,” Ford said weakly. “Just call me Ford.”

“So you’re the dad of those runts running around in the Mystery Shack this year?”

“What? No, I’m—”

“Different nephew,” Stan said. “Son of a different brother, too. You know how it is with family – one moment there’s none, and the next they’re crawling out of the woodwork.”

Dan laughed. “I sure do! Well—” He started to turn as if to leave, but then he stopped. “Hey, Junior.” He glanced at the hole in the side of Ford’s coat, and the bandages barely visible underneath. “You get bit by something? If there’s a critter out there attacking people, I need to know so I can wrestle it.”

“No! No, that’s fine. It’s not that bad.” Ford shook his head, but Dan had already turned to stare at Stan’s bump and the dried blood.

He punched his hand with a fist. “Alright, accidents happen and it’s no other man’s business to ask about it, but you two ain’t gonna drive yourselves home looking like that. You’re coming with me, Pines.”

Ford glanced at Stan, wide-eyed and looking very uncomfortable. “Come on, we might as well,” Stan muttered, pulling at Ford’s elbow to follow Dan. “I’d rather get a free ride than stand around arguing.”

Dan seemed to be leading them a slightly different path than they’d been taking. Ford hesitated, but Stan pulled him along.

“Are you sure it’s—” Ford’s mumble was barely audible.

“Safe?”

“He’s not possessed, but—”

“He’s Dan flipping Corduroy. Not his style to consort with demons. You knew him, didn’t ya?”

“A bit. But he was younger then.”

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look. If he wanted to hurt us, he’d do it right here, not go back to the road first.” He got where Ford’s paranoia was coming from, sure, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t annoying.

“What’re ya mumbling about?” Dan interrupted. “Speak up like a man, Stanford!”

Stan snorted. “I was just telling Ford that sometimes people in a small town help each other out.” He gave Dan a meaningful look. “Cause I’m not gonna pay ya for this.”

Ford flinched like he thought Stan was poking a dragon, but Dan just rubbed his beard. “Wouldn’t dream of charging. Still want that free pizza, though!”

“Eh. It might happen someday.” Stan turned to Ford. “See?” To Dan, he added, “He’s from New Jersey.”

Dan laughed. “Welcome to Gravity Falls, then!”

Dan’s old Jeep was parked at a tiny unpaved road that Stan hadn’t even been aware of, actually closer than where he’d left the Stanleymobile. Ford got into the front passenger seat with some clear reluctance, but Stan figured there was no helping that. It was just a short ride, and as far as Stan was concerned, not having to drive was a luxury. He climbed into the back seat and rubbed the bump on his head while Dan started up the car.

“Y’know,” Dan said, looking sideways at Ford. “The more I look at ya, the more ya give me a bad case of déjà vu.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, I think your uncle even used to wear that same kinda coat way back before he even started doing the Mystery Shack business. Isn’t that right, Pines?”

“Could be.” Stan tried to be noncommittal. He didn’t like that topic of conversation, not for his own sake and even less for Ford’s.

“Wish I had some picture of him back then. Would be something to compare!”

“Yes,” Ford said steely. “We do look a lot alike.”

It was a relief when Dan just grunted and stopped talking for a while, not least because Dan’s voice was on the loud side of roaring, which didn’t help Stan’s headache any. Also because he was not up to explaining a highly incriminating backstory or bullshitting a family background that Ford might or might not take offence at. Not if he didn’t have to.

Ford drummed his fingers on the car window, then stopped with a cringe and hid his hand in his pocket again. It reminded Stan of how he’d acted back when he’d found himself among strangers when they were kids. Being worried about his hands couldn’t help his paranoia any, and Stan wished he’d stop, but he wasn’t going to bring attention to it right in front of Dan, either.

They were turning on the intersection of Gopher Road when Ford spoke up. “You said you had a dream about two Stanford Pineses. What kind of a dream?”

“Funny thing!” Dan replied, his voice filling the car again. “I was having a nap, and then I started feeling like someone was watching me. So I looked up, and I saw old Mister Mystery here. Except there were two of him. And it could be that they were both a bit younger, but I’m not sure. Anyway, then I guess I went up to ‘em and beat them up.” He laughed at that, but Stan started to listen more carefully. Maybe Ford shouldn’t have asked that question.

Dan rubbed his beard with a wry grin. “That’s the weirdest part. In the dream, it seemed like a good idea to rob you and run off with the bag you were carrying.”

Stan made himself laugh. “That’s hilarious,” he said, completely aware that Ford was stiffening in the seat in front of him.

“And then I looked up at the sky,” Dan continued, “And instead of the sun there was a big yellow triangle with an eyeball in the middle, like—”

Ford threw the passenger side door open, making Dan screech the car to a halt.

“What the hell, Junior!?”

“You’re going to let us off, now,” Ford intoned.

“We’ve got 200 yards to the Mystery Shack,” Dan said, confused, but Ford was already scrambling out of the car, pulling open the door next to Stan.

Stan wouldn’t have minded riding the last 200 yards as well, but that wasn’t an option anymore. Dammit, but Ford was in a panic and if there was actually some reason for it it would have been a lot safer to just not let it on, but it was too late for that. He scooped up the bag and got down to Ford, who ripped the bag from him and went off into the forest before Stan could even turn back to the puzzled lumberjack.

“Sorry,” he said, “But I guess my br—my nephew wants to walk the rest of the way. We’ll be fine, thanks for the ride.”

Dan frowned. “What’s in that bag?”

“A well-used first aid kit,” Stan said with a grimace as if the whole thing confused him too, then glanced after Ford. “I’m gonna go see to him. See ya later.”

#gravity falls #fanfic #stanford pines #stanley pines #it writes #30 seconds later #featuring some recklessness and an encounter

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anistarrose · 6 years

Text

Some Sunny Day - Ch. 4: For Courtesy (Gravity Falls Same Coin Theory)

Summary: There are a lot of reasons to lie, both to oneself and to others.

Warnings: Suicidal thoughts (not acted upon), nightmares, panic attacks, self-blame

Previous / Next

The Beginning

(This is later than I expected, but it's also longer than I expected so hopefully that makes up for it.)

(The Same Coin Theory is by @dubsdeedubs and @renmorris!)

Ford associated blue light with a lot of things. With the blinding glow of the portal, with mistakes and betrayal. With the burning ray he’d shot from the memory gun, with believing his brother was gone forever.

And of course, with the outreached hand of Bill Cipher. The hand that looked like it should burn you, and did, but not immediately, and not in the way you expected.

Now, it was Stan’s hand that was ablaze in blue.

Before Ford could convince himself of what he was really seeing, his self-preservation instinct kicked in, and he found himself backing away. Involuntarily, his hand went to the gun hanging at his waist.

The part of Ford that remembered thirty years surviving in hostile dimensions told him to unholster it and shoot, to not allow for any moment of weakness and ask questions only after he’d dispatched the threat. The part of Ford that remembered the last time he’d pointed a gun at Stan told him to hug his brother and cry.

So he remained paralyzed, hand at the holster strapped to his belt, knowing neither option was a possibility but having no idea what to do instead — because what could be done when the impossible had already happened?

“Why did you stop?” a weak, scared, almost childlike voice asked him. “Sixer, w-why aren’t you running away?”

Ford felt a physical ache in his heart, and he couldn’t help but step towards Stan.

Stan flinched, and shoved his hands in his pockets — but not before Ford realized that the flames had vanished.

“You’re not on fire anymore,” he stuttered dumbly. “Stan, are — are you the one controlling —”

“No!” Stan yelled, and somehow, with that one word, he sounded even more afraid, more horrified than Ford had ever heard him, even just a few moments ago when he’d been trying to convince Ford to run and save himself.

“No, I can’t be — I’m not in control! I — I know I look like I am, but he’s just letting me do what I want because — because he’s waiting for a chance to —”

The next few words were impossible to understand through Stan’s sobbing. The only thing Ford could make out was another quiet “I can’t be” at the end, as Stan shuddered and crumpled to the ground. He looked so scared, and tired, and vulnerable…

Very slowly, very carefully, very sure that he was making a mistake but unable to stop himself, Ford put a hand on Stan’s shoulder. Stan shuddered, but didn’t seem to have the energy to push him away. Ford wasn’t sure whether that was good or bad.

“He’ll kill you…” Stan whispered.

“Stanley, listen to me,” Ford said. “I won’t let him. I swear, I —”

“Then shoot me,” Stan replied in a quiet monotone voice. He kept avoiding eye contact, but he must have felt Ford’s grip on his shoulder tighten, because he added: “I’m not worth letting Bill destroy the world again.”

“But — no! No, Stanley, you —”

“Can it, Poindexter!” Stan was suddenly full of familiar red-hot rage, his tired monotone voice replaced by a familiar anger. “I thought we already decided I was worth sacrificing! What happened to the Ford in Weirdmageddon who wiped my mind? What happened to the Ford thirty years ago, who realized trusting me was the worst mistake he could’ve ever made? Really, Sixer, my life’s worth a whole lot less than the chance to save your family! This is the best deal I ever could’ve offered you!”

A chill ran up Ford’s spine at the word deal. He let go of Stan’s shoulder, his hand trembling.

Is it even Stanley I’m talking to anymore? Has Bill taken over?

“But…” Stan went on, his voice growing softer, “I guess I didn’t make good on that deal last time, could I? I couldn’t kill him and have him stay dead.”

He cautiously raised a sleeve to wipe at his eyes.

“I’m no hero, Ford,” he whispered. “Just… just a con man. Just a liar.”

Even more quietly, so quietly that Ford wasn’t sure he’d heard correctly, Stan added: “I’m just a lie.”

And then Ford was crying too, hating himself for doubting that it was Stan he’d been speaking to. Only Stan could feel so guilty for causing Bill’s return, could hate himself that much for endangering his family.

Bill would never be able to convincingly fake that much guilt over what he’d done to the people of Gravity Falls, much less genuinely feel it. He was a skilled liar, but he could only lie so well about things he didn’t understand.

And Bill didn’t understand family. Stan did, so he cried tears that Bill never would be able to shed, tears for a brother and a niece and a nephew and a handyman that might as well have been a son, tears for a family he thought he’d failed to save.

But Ford had different thoughts. Stan had saved them once before, Stan was a hero, and if the world happened to need saving again, then they’d all do everything they could to try to save it again, dammit. They wouldn’t give up, even when one of them was convinced there was nothing that could be done. That was the Pines way — the Stan Pines way in particular.

But Ford needed a plan. Bill was warping physical reality through Stan’s form, which shouldn’t have been possible. To inhabit someone’s mind, he had to abandon his physical form — that was how the damn statue had gotten left behind, after all — and with it, abandon his ability to affect the real world. If Bill’s powers had grown, Ford desperately needed to know, but the best way to find out would be through a scan of Stanley’s mind, and that would take time to set up. He needed to make sure that Bill wouldn’t be able to do anything destructive in the meantime…

“Stanley, I…” He took a deep breath. Stay calm, stay calm, stay calm. Stan needs you to stay calm right now.

“Stanley, I have a plan. And… and I’ll warn you, you may not like certain parts of it, but it does have the advantage of keeping all of us the safest we could possibly be in this… this situation. So Stan, I need you to listen carefully, as soon as you think you’re ready to do so.”

Stan was silent for a moment, then gave a small nod. “Tell me.”

“We need to go back to the Shack,” Ford said. “The unicorn hair barrier should short-circuit Bill’s powers while I contact —”

“No!” Stan shouted. “Are you crazy? The kids are in there!”

“I know, but setting up the mind scan will take time, and it’ll be safest for you to —”

“Safest for me?!” Stan asked him. “I don’t care about me, and you — you shouldn’t either! It’s bad enough that you’re still here, but if I — if I have to watch myself hurt the kids, I — I’ll —”

“Stanley, listen,” Ford repeated. He took a risk by resting his hand on Stan’s shoulder again, and Stan frowned, but didn’t flinch away, either. “I know. I get it. If anything happened to them because of me, even indirectly, I… I wouldn’t be able to live with myself, either.”

He remembered that moment in the Fearamid, when he thought Bill was going to kill Mabel before Stanley had a chance to act, when he thought that he’d lose his brother and his niece. He’d almost cried out Mabel’s name, cried it out in his real voice, not his imitation of Stan. He’d almost ruined everything.

But Stan had pulled through for all of them back then, and Ford had to pull through for Stan now. He had to. Stan had taught him so much about heroism last year; he had to put it to good use.

“I know it’s frightening to get too close to anyone,” Ford went on. “I would be afraid too. But if Bill is altering physical reality, like with those flames, then the only thing that I know for sure can stop him are the wards around the Shack. I also suspect that they might make it harder for him to take control of your body.”

The last part was really more of a hope than a suspicion, but Ford didn’t tell Stan that. If it convinced Stan that he wouldn’t have to get hurt to keep his family safe, it was worth stretching the truth. Ford could apologize later, if — no, when they were all safe and Bill was gone for good.

“I’ll contact Fiddleford and tell him to prepare a mind scan. It would take too long to remove that machine from McGucket Mansion, so we’ll have to head down there eventually, but in the meantime, it will be safest for us to wait in the Mystery Shack. Do you understand?”

Stan didn’t respond for what felt like an eternity. Ford was suddenly struck by the thought that Stan could be paralyzed, engaged in a doomed mental battle with Bill, and that he’d never get a chance to speak to his brother again before the demon took over.

“Stanley? Stanley, can you say something? Can you hear me?”

“One condition,” Stan whispered.

Ford let out a sigh of relief. Stan’s eyes were still brown with normal pupils, and his expression was still full of fear and guilt that Bill could never imitate so convincingly. “What is it?”

There was also a cold determination, which Bill could imitate, but Ford didn’t mind seeing in his brother — at least until he heard Stan’s reply.

“If I look like I’m gonna — if I look like I just might hurt the kids, or Soos, or anyone — if Bill takes any sorta control… I need you to promise you’ll shoot me. No stun setting. Just kill me.”

Ford closed his eyes, and he saw himself typing Stanley Pines into the memory gun, saw himself pulling the trigger and shooting a blue beam of light at Stan for the longest thirty seconds of his life, saw himself hugging a brother he’d thought would never remember him again.

This time, there wouldn’t even be an amnesiac shell of a man left to hug. There would be a grave.

But then he imagined Stan refusing to come back to the Shack. He imagined Stan fleeing from him, Stan trying to take matters into his own hands. Stan trying to stop Bill himself.

“Yes,” Ford answered. “I promise.”

He was pretty sure he didn’t have it in him, no matter which other lives were on the line. He’d just have to make sure that he never had to find out for certain.

He stood up, and without thinking, he offered a hand to Stan. “Come on. Let’s get back there now.”

Stan started to reach for his hand, only to freeze, and then slowly get up all on his own. He didn’t complain when Ford wrapped his arm around his shoulder, but he kept his hands in his pockets, like he was afraid that he’d accept someone’s handshake before he realized what he was doing.

There was no more of the terrible cold blue fire, but Ford shivered.

A promise is an awful lot like a deal, he couldn’t help but think.

***

The walk back went by in a heartbeat and in an eternity. Physically, Stan hardly felt his own footsteps. He moved forward without the effort that it usually took at his age, without thinking about what he was doing, just letting Ford guide him.

Mentally, he was drained. It was hard to keep track of a single thought for more than a few seconds. Echoes of things he shouldn’t have been able to hear still rang in his ears, and he tried as best as he could to block them out, but they still weighed down on him.

On the way there, Ford sent a text to McGucket. Stan could only imagine what it said.

My brother didn’t do as good of a job at saving the world as we thought. Can you help me figure out what the demon in his mind is doing now?

They got back to the Shack far too quickly. The walk had been hell, but Stan would have repeated it for the rest of eternity if he could.

“The barrier covers the back porch,” Ford explained. “Let’s just stand there for now.”

It was an attempt to make Stan feel more comfortable, and it worked a little, but probably not as much as Ford had hoped it would. Before he stepped forward, Stan looked around, making sure no one else was outside.

He didn’t need to look, because he could already see Dipper and Mabel in the kitchen, Soos in the exhibit gallery, Melody greeting Wendy as she arrived for work in the gift shop.

When he was satisfied, he closed his eyes and slowly stepped towards the Shack.

It turned out that the barrier extended a few feet beyond the porch — Stan could tell because a wave of pins and needles and then numbness ran over his body. He suddenly felt very weak, very helpless, very human.

But that was just how he’d felt for his whole life, he realized. The reality-warping power that had awakened in him was going back to sleep.

“Stan, do you think you could test whether… the fire works?”

Ford had almost slipped up and called it your fire, Stan could tell, and he hated it — not Ford for almost making that mistake, but himself, for being the type of person that his brother would confuse with the demon that had tortured him for years.

He hated himself for letting it be true.

“You don’t have to if you’re not comfortable with it. I’m very confident that we’ll be safe —”

Stan raised his hand and focused. Nothing happened except for a faint pain behind his eyes.

“Nope, nothing,” he muttered. “You’re right, Ford.”

Ford’s expression was difficult to read. He opened his mouth to say something, then closed it, then opened it again. “Yes, that’s… good, I suppose…”

He shook his head and mumbled: “That just… conclusively establishes that it is Bill, though, and I suppose there was a small part of me that was still foolishly hoping that it wasn’t… Stanley?! Are you alright?!”

“Huh?” Stan had been almost completely tuning Ford out.

Ford put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “You’re shaking a lot. How are you feeling?”

“I… I dunno. Tired?” He was tired, both mentally and physically, but that wasn’t the whole story. “Maybe… kinda warm?”

“Of course, I… I can’t blame you for that. Have you eaten anything today, or drank anything?”

“Nuh-uh. But I don’t… I don’t really want any food right now.” Every noise was monotone, every color was monochrome. Stan felt burnt out.

Damn Ford for caring about nutrition at a time like this. Damn Ford for caring more about Stan’s health than the demon that could fully awaken and try to kill him at any moment. Damn Ford for caring.

“Then I’ll get you a beverage with some calories in it — not Mabel Juice, don’t worry.” Ford took Stan by the shoulder again and began guiding him towards the door. “Let’s sit you down inside, in the air conditioning.”

Stan didn’t have the energy to think, didn’t have the energy to remember why he was scared of the old cabin that was shielded off from almost all weirdness.

And then the weird people who lived in the cabin jumped out at him, and he remembered exactly why.

***

“Grunkle Stan’s been gone for a long time, don’t you think, Dipper?” Mabel asked, suddenly setting down her knitting needles. “Is that why you’ve just been pushing stuff around on your plate instead of eating?”

Truth be told, it was the glitter and chocolate sauce that were to blame for Dipper’s half-eaten waffle. Or at least, he’d told himself they were. It was hard to deny that he was pretty anxious.

“I didn’t want to sound like I was being paranoid, but… yeah. I’m getting kinda worried about him.” He checked the time on his phone, even though he’d just done so a couple seconds ago — it was 8:16. “It’s been over an hour. Stan never takes walks that long.”

“What did Ford say in that text again?” Mabel asked him. “He didn’t mention Stan, did he?”

Dipper shook his head and pulled up the text to show her. “Nope, just that he wouldn’t be back until after eight. But… I’m really starting to think that he is looking for Stan.”

Mabel frowned. “Maybe we should’ve told him more about how… weird Stan was acting.”

“Probably,” Dipper admitted. “He sounded better by the time he left, and I didn’t want Ford to overreact or anything…”

“He did leave really quickly, though…” Mabel mused. “And he was talking kinda loud. Like when he’s got a bunch of tourists in the Shack.”

It wasn’t difficult to pick up on the unspoken thought like when he’s putting on an act.

“That’s it,” Dipper decided. “I’m calling Ford and —”

He heard the back door of the Shack creak open.

“Oh, that’s probably them right now!” He gave a small sigh of relief, even knowing that he wouldn’t be able to entirely stop himself from worrying until he saw his grunkles safe and sound.

Really, Dipper had been uneasy ever since Stan had left that morning. It had almost felt like it was last summer again, like every normal occurrence was a reason to worry, like something bad could happen any time anyone left his sight..

But of course he’d just been overreacting — nothing this summer could compare to how dangerous the last had been, because now that Bill was gone…

He entered one side of the living room, Mabel a bit behind him, at the same time Stan and Ford entered the other side from the porch, and something made all four of them freeze.

Only two words were spoken, and they both came out of Stan’s mouth:

“Pine Tree.”

And before he knew it, Dipper was shoving Mabel back into the kitchen and running towards Stan and Ford, his heart pounding just as hard as his footsteps.

“Get out of my uncle!” he shouted, just as Ford yelled “Wait!” and Stan gasped and tried to dive behind his brother, only to trip and collapse to the — no, it was Bill, and he didn’t trip, he was doing that to Stan’s body on purpose —

“Don’t you dare hurt him, or I’ll —” Dipper was suddenly dragged backwards, and he almost reflexively took a swing at the person pulling him, before he could process that it had to be Ford, and he had to have a good reason for pulling Dipper away.

“Stanley!” Ford shouted, reaching towards Stan’s shuddering, prone form with his other hand. “Are you okay? What’s wrong? What happened —”

“What’s happening?!” Mabel echoed, darting in front of Ford and Dipper. “Grunkle Stan?”

The moment Mabel touched Stan, he jumped to his feet in one painfully jerky motion, and Dipper finally got a close look at his eyes — not yellow and gleeful, but brown and terrified.

“No no no no Shooting Star get away you’re not safe I could —”

“Shit,” Ford whispered flatly, then with much more volume yelled: “Mabel! You need to give him space! Just trust me, please!”

Mabel took a single step back, and turned to face Ford. “But why is he calling us —”

Stan tried to make a break for it out the door, but Ford grabbed him by the shirt.

“Stan, everyone’s safe! Bill’s not going to be able to do anything to the kids!”

Dipper didn’t fully process the next few seconds. It was just too much. He barely heard Ford telling Stan that nothing bad was about to happen; barely heard Mabel asking him, panicked, if he knew what was going on; barely noticed Soos enter the room…

He didn’t hear anything until Ford put a hand on his shoulder and said: “Dipper, Mabel, Soos, I need you all to listen very carefully. At least some part Bill has survived in Stan’s mind, but Stan still has full control of his body, and he doesn’t appear to be in danger of losing control any time soon. It’s just… frightening for him, and…”

He briefly looked behind him — checking on Stan, who was sitting on his old yellow chair and staring off into space — then pulled Dipper and Mabel close to him and hugged them.

“And it must have been a terrible shock to you, too,” he added quietly. “It was all my fault. I should have sent you some warning before I brought Stan back here. I’m so sorry.”

“Is — is Mr. Pines gonna be okay?” Soos asked quietly.

“I intend to make sure of it.” Ford’s voice was equally quiet, but full of determination. “We have a plan. McGucket is working on preparing a mental scan as we speak.”

Dipper had too many questions. How did you realize Bill was still there, how are you going to get rid of him, how did he survive in the first place and how do you know it won’t happen again…

“I know that that explanation isn’t anywhere near enough,” Ford went on. “But Stan needs space right now. I promise, I’ll tell you everything I know as soon as I can.”

Dipper nodded, and Ford let go of him.

“Is there anything else we can do?” Mabel asked, and Ford sighed.

“I’ll tell you the second I think of anything.”

As Dipper walked back to the kitchen, he briefly made eye contact with Stan, who flinched and quickly turned away, a haunted, guilty look on his face. His eyes were still brown with normal pupils.

Bill is back, Dipper kept thinking to himself, never quite being able to believe it. If Ford’s plan doesn’t work, none of us are going to be safe here for much longer.

Slumping down in her seat at the kitchen table, Mabel voiced his exact thoughts. “How did everything change like this in just an hour?”

***

“Do you remember the relaxation exercises I taught you last year, to help with your flashbacks?” Ford gently asked. “Do you want to try one of them now?”

Stan shook his head. He didn’t deserve to relax. He didn’t deserve Ford’s help. He didn’t deserve to still be here, to have cheated death like he had so many times.

“Why not?”

Stan stared at Ford in bewilderment, and Ford stared right back, a pained but determined look in his eyes.

“Do you think it will make things worse, or do you… do you not want my help?”

“It — it’ll just make things…”

That was a lie. Stan knew it, and Ford didn’t know it for certain but could probably guess. All this lying was how Stan had screwed them all over, because he had to be so difficult with Ford, because he had to be the type of person who lied about everything. Because he was a weak-willed idiot who twisted the truth even when he didn’t know had forgotten what was real and what wasn’t.

Because he, Stanley Pines himself, was not the truth, not the hero his family thought he was. His very identity as others saw it, as even he was deluded enough enough to see it on some days, was nothing more than a lie.

“I don’t deserve your help, Ford,” he whispered.

Ford was quiet for a second. “I… I figured you thought something like that. But you’re wrong. This town wouldn’t be here today if it wasn’t for you. You’re our —”

“I knew he was gonna come back.”

Ford’s jaw dropped. “What?”

“Well, I… I didn’t know. Not really,” Stan went on. “But — but I’ve been havin’ dreams, really bad dreams, and you — you woulda figured it out if I —”

He wiped at his eyes. “If I’d just fuckin’ told you.”

“Stanley, what were these dreams like? Was Bill in them?” Ford asked quietly. His voice was even more carefully controlled than usual, in an attempt to keep out some strong emotion Stan couldn’t identify.

To be honest, he hoped it was anger. It would make things a lot less difficult in the long run. It would make certain hard decisions easier, make certain shots easier.

“I barely remember,” Stan finally answered. “Actually, I… I don’t remember at all. That was what made the dreams so… different. I forgot everythin’ right away when I woke up.”

Stan was looking down, but he could feel Ford’s stare.

“That’s all?”

“Well, I felt… really shitty whenever I woke up. And, uh, guilty.”

“So you only felt bad emotionally, not physically?”

Stan nodded, and Ford started to ask something, but Stan cut him off. “And that’s… not all, not really. This morning I… I still don’t really know what happened, but when I saw the kids I felt… shittier. And I kinda panicked, and… well, I guess you actually saw that same thing, ‘couple a minutes ago. But it happened this morning too, ‘cept I… I didn’t scare the kids as much.”

He took a deep breath. “I dunno if that’s really everythin’, but it’s everythin’ I can remember right now.”

For what must have been a minute, Ford was absolutely silent aside from the sound of his breath.

“Stanley,” he finally said, “Without having seen what I saw in the forest this morning, I wouldn’t have associated those dreams with Bill at all. Had you told me about them, I would’ve been almost certain that they were side effects of the memory gun, affecting your…”

He clearly had something more to say, but apparently chose not to say it.

“So,” Stan muttered, “you’re not even angry with me for not telling —”

“I’m fucking infuriated with you right now, Stan,” Ford interrupted.

His tone didn’t match his words; it was far too sad. “But not for the reasons you think I should be. I’m mad because you were clearly suffering, and decided you wanted to suffer alone. I’m mad because you decided you’d rather lie to me about it than accept my help.”

There was a new emotion in Ford’s voice, one that Stan could recognize from a mile away, because he hadn’t felt much else recently. It was guilt.

“Did you think I’d just make things worse? Did you think I couldn’t —”

“No!” Stan yelled, and Ford flinched. “It’s not your fault!”

“Then why did you lie, Stanley?” Ford begged him. “Please, tell me. Trust me.”

Stan took a while to think of the words he wanted to use to answer, and when he finally spoke, they still came out jumbled.

“Uh, just… you know. For courtesy.”

He looked at Ford, and Ford frowned back at him.

“I just… I didn’t want you to worry about me. Like, back when I was still rememberin’ things, you lost a lotta sleep over that. I hoped — it was stupid, I know — I hoped that this time, I could just lie to you until I wasn’t lying anymore. Until you didn’t have to worry —”

Something had changed in Ford’s expression — he was still frowning, but something about it had tightened. He hadn’t flinched, exactly, but something Stan had said had unnerved him.

And then it was gone, and the frown was all sadness and concern again.

“I should have known,” Ford said. “You thought that you weren’t worth worrying me.”

“Well, I’m not,” Stan blurted out.

“You shut your fucking mouth,” Ford snapped. “No one says Stan Pines is worthless, and that includes Stan Pines.”

“But —”

“Don’t even say it. Don’t say this is all your fault. I just told you, I wouldn’t have known it was Bill, either. You’re being too hard on yourself — that’s your only mistake.”

But I did know, Stan thought.

“Ford, I was the one having those dreams. I should been able to figure it out…”

Ford took a little longer to respond this time. “Maybe, but maybe not. There’s no way to know for sure what you might have or might not have been able to do. Please, Stan, don’t go blaming yourself for not seeing as clearly as you do now in hindsight.”

He put his hand on Stan’s shoulder. “Be honest. Would you blame Dipper or Mabel for making a mistake like that?”

Stan shook his head.

With a bit more hesitation, Ford added: “Would you blame me?”

“Of course not!”

“Then stop blaming yourself! It’s no different!”

But it was different, it was so different Ford had no idea.

“I’ll try,” Stan muttered.

“Good,” Ford said. His tone softened. “I suppose — no, I know that it’s far more difficult than I’m making it out to be, and… I probably shouldn’t have been so harsh with you. Trying to stop thinking that way is good, very good. And if I can do anything to help you… succeed, then please, tell me.”

Will I really try? Stan thought. Or will that end up being just another lie?

He didn’t even bother to wonder if he’d succeed.

At least I’m telling the truth about Bill now, right? I’m telling Ford everything he needs to know.

The knot of guilt in his stomach refused to go away.

Lie until you can’t remember what’s a lie and what isn’t.

Ford’s phone rang, and Stan flinched.

“It’s McGucket, but I can tell him to hold on for a moment if you need —”

“It’s okay. Take the call,” Stan told him. “I’m gonna… try those breathin’ exercises.”

Ford nodded, and as raised the phone to his ear, he whispered: “If you need anything, for the love of the multiverse, please interrupt.”

Stan shifted in the chair and tried to tune out Ford’s voice. Inhale, one, two, three, exhale. Inhale, one, two, three, exhale.

He remembered trying to make his mind go completely blank to trick Bill in the Fearamid, remembered visualizing himself sitting in that very chair, concentrating on the thwack-thwack-thwack of an imaginary paddleball.

One-paddle-two-paddle-three-paddle…

Stan had always been pretty good at paddleball. He was (mostly) concentrating on it now, but he if he chose to, he could do it without paying much attention, and let his mind wander while muscle memory took over. Ford, on the other hand, wasn’t necessarily bad at paddleball but could never compare to Stan. It needed to be the only thing he was focusing on, or else he’d mess up.

One-two-three one-two-three…

Stan closed his eyes.

One-two-three one-two-three…

...you know, Ford was kind of the same as far as controlling his mindscape went. He actually had a decent natural aptitude for it, but there were some things you just needed to be taught, and of course Bill hadn’t taught him anything that would be useful to deceive or resist a dream demon. Besides, while creating objects and summoning attacks was easy, it usually took centuries of practice to change your own mindscape’s layout in any significant way, even temporarily. Centuries that Ford obviously didn’t have.

One-two-three one-two-three…

Really, Bill probably should have realized something was up when “Stanford’s” mind was as blank as it was in Weirdmageddon.

One-two-three one-two-three one-two-three sixty degrees that come in threes…

It was kind of pathetic, really, how Sixer tried to guard his memories and retain control of his body once he fell asleep. And fall asleep he inevitably did, regardless of how much industrial-strength coffee he’d consumed.

Get out of here!

Bill! You lied to me!

No I’ll stop you I’LL SHUT IT DOWN

Good old Sixer, a being thought, as it came out of a trance.

And that being wasn’t Stan.

“Get out of my mind, you backstabber!” Ford’s voice was clearer now, his unkempt head of brown hair unmistakeable.

“Why should I get out?” Bill demanded. “We made a deal, Sixer! Why shouldn’t I be in your mind, huh?”

Ford practically growled — what a freak.

“You manipulated me. You lied to me —”

“I lied? That’s your issue? That I lied? Let me tell you something about truth, Brainiac.” Really, Bill was doing Ford a favor, teaching him a lesson that everyone had to learn eventually.

“Truth is a tattletale with no friends. Truth is your annoying uncle who spoils the movie.”

He threw his cane to the ground, and Ford flinched.

“Truth is a concept invented by powerful liars, in order to guilt you into giving them more power.”

Bill’s body turned red and his hands caught ablaze as he remembered a world where the truth was strictly regulated, where the moment you admitted that you knew the world wasn’t really flat, you were imprisoned.

He remembered a world, a family, that he missed despite its countless flaws, a world that he could never go back to.

“Don’t fall for the trap! Lie until what you want to be true becomes true. Lie until you can’t remember what’s a lie and what isn’t. Lie until you aren’t lying anymore.”

Sixer was shaking with rage now. “I don’t care! I’m not going to let you activate that portal!” he spat.

“And how are you gonna do that when you’re just my puppet, huh?” Bill sneered. “I mean, you don’t seriously think that postcard’s actually gonna convince your brother to come help, do you? C’mon, Fordsy, you’re smarter than —”

And suddenly there was a firm hand shaking his shoulder, a bright light being shined in his eyes, a familiar voice yelling at him.

“Stanley! Stanley, say something! Tell me you’re still here!”

“F-f-f… fuck…” Stan stuttered. “Oh no, n-no no no no…”

“Stan!” Ford’s silhouette was blurry, but his voice was clear. “Tell me what I can do!”

“Nightmare,” Stan whispered, and Ford relaxed just a little. “That was — that was one of those nightmares.”

“Do you remember what happened in it?”

Stan covered his face with his hands, not wanting to look at Ford but afraid to actually close his eyes and risk falling asleep again. “Not really, just that it was… I — I think you were in it. I don’t know.”

It was true that he didn’t know, but he could know, if he chose to try and remember. He just couldn’t bring himself to try.

Ford handed him a glass of juice — just normal apple juice, no plastic dinosaurs, but Stan’s stomach still churned at the thought of drinking it.

“I know,” Ford assured him, apparently guessing what was going through Stan’s head. “But if you think you can physically get it down without throwing up, it’ll make you feel better in the long run.”

Stan took a small sip. It tasted watered-down.

“Do you remember if Bill was in the dream at all?” Ford asked after a long pause.

“Nuh-uh. I mean, no, I don’t remember, but… he probably was.”

“That’s alright. The mind scan should be ready in less than the time it’ll take us to get to the mansion — that’s why McGucket called me — so that will be able to give us some insight.”

Stan barely heard him. “I think… I think something bad was happening to you. In the dream.”

And it was my fault. “And it was Bill’s fault.”

Ford nodded, a detached look in his eyes. “If your stomach doesn’t feel any worse, then take another drink.”

Stan wasn’t sure if he felt worse or better. Maybe a little better, but still not good. He took a slightly larger sip than the last.

“I heard you talking in your sleep,” Ford said. “I didn’t quite catch all of it, but the things I understood were… reminiscent of Bill, to say the least.”

There was something about the way Ford said I didn’t quite catch all of it that made Stan worry that Ford really had caught most of it, but was afraid to repeat it.

“Aside from a… statement I remember Bill making to me a while back,” Ford continued, “I also heard a few nicknames that Bill had always used for me —”

“Like Sixer?” Stan asked.

Ford gave him possibly the strangest look he’d given Stan all day — there was no fear, just utter confusion and surprise.

“I… um. Yes, actually? I think you — I think I did hear that, and Bill did make a habit of calling me that, I just — didn’t associate…”

He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I’m not being clear at all. The thing is, I’ve always associated that nickname with you, Stanley. Not that Bill didn’t use it, but… well, you used it first. So when I heard you say it in your sleep, it didn’t seem out of the ordinary, until you kept talking and I overheard a bit more of the context…”

“Oh.” Stan felt like he was falling into the bottomless pit, like darkness was consuming him from all sides yet he just kept speeding up, moving faster and faster towards a terrifying terrifyingly familiar unknown, a blacked-out void of questions he should have been asking himself long ago, but had never thought about until that very moment, when they had all come at him at once.

Bill had called Ford Sixer because of the zodiac, hadn’t he? The same reason he’d called Dipper Pine Tree, Mabel Shooting Star, Soos Question Mark…

How had Stan known Bill’s nicknames off the top of his head, when he still had so many gaps in his memory of Weirdmageddon? How had he known Ford’s nickname two decades before Bill and Ford had ever met?

Time is dead and meaning has no meaning!

“I don’t wanna talk about the nightmare anymore,” he whispered.

“That’s alright,” Ford assured him. “When do you think you’ll be ready to move to the mansion?”

“Now’s fine.”

“But Stan, you’re not in any condition to —”

“I want to move, Ford. I don’t want to fall asleep again.” Which was true, though not the whole truth — Stan really would have prefered to go anywhere other than the mansion.

Ford’s eyes widened slightly in understanding, and he nodded. Of course it would be the fear of falling asleep that got through to him.

Stan was once again reminded of how much he hated Bill, of how many lasting scars that triangular bastard had left his family with.

“All right,” Ford told him. “I’ll drive you there. I don’t think I can stop the kids and Soos from coming along, but I’ll tell them to take a different car, and give you plenty of space once we get there.”

“Uh-huh. Thanks, Stanford.”

Stan was shaking when he stood up, but not from exhaustion. He desperately didn’t want to head to the machine, didn’t want to know what it would say about him, didn’t want to know how deep in his head Bill had gotten.

But the risks of not doing the scan were far too great, so without even really thinking about it, he told another courteous lie and said to Ford that he was ready.

***

“To put your hand in fire and not get burned... this is a feeling like no other.” — Stanford Pines, Journal 3

“Why is Bill lying about being happy? Um, you know, for courtesy.” — Alex Hirsch in a charity livestream

***

Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always!

#gravity falls #same coin theory #stanley pines #bill cipher #stanford pines #dipper pines #mabel pines #rosalia writes fic #seriously this got a LOT longer than i expected

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fexalted · 6 years

Text

@asdmabel said: MULTIPLES!!! OF!!! THREE!!! MULTIPLES!!! OF!!! THREE!!! MULTIPLES!!! OF!!! THREE!!!

hahaha why am i not surprised

posting it like this bc readmores on ask posts sometimes don't work on mobile? and this is gonna get super long, so (also warning for talk of self harm / child abuse)

3 is a fic where ford, post-bill betrayal, uses the copy machine to make a clone of himself that can perform the surgery to put the metal plate in his head. it's in 2nd person (bc i'm incapable of writing anything else), and in the clone ford's pov

Ford opens an eye, squinting against the overhead light. You shut it off so he doesn't have to strain to see you, and he blinks groggily, taking in the room around him with a bleary gaze before settling on you.

You're about to tell him that the surgery went well, everything is fine, he's going to be okay, but Ford speaks before you do, shattering what little composure you have with one word.

"Stanley?" he breathes incredulously, his voice weak and cracking.

You're not sure if you have a heart anymore but you feel like it just stopped regardless. He's delusional, clearly the anesthesia hasn't worn off completely yet, and he's mistaken you for your—his—brother.

"I... I'm—" you start to explain, but stop suddenly. Ford's eyes are hazy and unfocused but hopeful, and you find you can't take that hope away so quickly. You might as well let one of you believe that Stan is actually here for you.

So you clear your throat and put on your best impression of Stan. Which, admittedly, is not very great; you're a little out of practice.

"Y-Yeah, Ford. It's me. It's Stan."

"Stanley," he says again, softer this time, more like a sigh. He reaches out for you and you flinch back, jerking your hands away instinctively before he can notice the number of fingers on them, and his face just crumples.

6 is the note of cut parts from other fics! which means i get to share the original ending i had started writing for make me believe again!! :D

...which i maybe shouldn't be so excited about, considering the subject matter, oops. in the initial draft of the fic, stan had also self-harmed in the past, and this ending was attempting to address that. i didn't get super far with it bc it was giving me some hard mood whiplash and i couldn't figure out how to fix it, but here it is anyway

"Hi, I'm Steve Pinington! Are you sick of bandages that are hard to remove? Then what you need is the Rip Off!"

You turn to Stanley, eyebrow raised, your expression a cross between confused and amused. "Steve Pinington?"

"Look, I uh, I couldn't use my real name, okay?" he explains, rubbing the back of his neck as his face and ears turn red with embarrassment. "Anyway they're not even supposed to be playing this anymore!"

"Please tell me that mustache is fake."

"Unfortunately, it isn't."

"Oh my god," you say, unable to stop a laugh from bubbling out of you. "How is that thing real? You couldn't even grow peach fuzz when we were teenagers!"

"Yeah, well, a lot of things have changed since then, haven't they?" Stanley snaps, and your laughter dies instantly. "Sorry," he adds a second later. "Just wasn't really in a good place back then."

You bite your tongue, your heart sinking. He wasn't just embarrassed, he was uncomfortable, and you just made things worse. And right after the two of you had started to truly patch up your relationship, no less!

You guess you both have more to talk about than you thought.

And you know you shouldn't ask what kind of place he was in then, but you're concerned and you need to make things okay again and he's rubbing at his arms and if you don't ask now you never will, so—

"Stanley," you start, hesitantly. "You don't have to answer this, but... The scars, on your arms. Are they...?" You can't seem to get out the final words, but thankfully he seems to get where you're trying to go.

"Some are from fights," he says. "A lot are, actually. You make more enemies than friends when you owe money to the wrong people. But, uh, some of the scars... I made."

Your heart shatters. "Stan..."

"I stopped, though!" he says quickly, before either one of you gets too emotional. "I stopped. I've been good about it, too. It's why I don't hide 'em. Feels like it helps to see how much they're healing or somethin', I dunno. Thought it might help you to see 'em, too. To know you're not alone, y'know?"

"I think seeing them has worried me more than anything, honestly," you say. "But I appreciate the thought behind it. I'm glad you're doing better."

"Right back at ya," Stanley says.

You don't ask him why he hurt himself. You don't really need to guess.

9 is a fic about stan and his conflicting feelings about filbrick (aka, the fic where i throw all my own dad issues). it's a bit of a mess bc i rarely have the energy to write in it so let's just skip to the end where ford gives stan a hug

"It wasn't your fault," Ford says. "You were just a kid, Stan. You didn't deserve any of that, and I'm sorry."

"Oh," you choke out, and you think you're crying? Your hands are shaking and there's a lump in your throat and your vision is blurring and yep those are definitely tears on your face. "Oh," you say again. Welp, this is embarrassing. You quickly try to scrub the tears from your eyes so you can save face in front of your brother, but Ford takes your hands and pulls you into a hug instead.

"I'm sorry," Ford says again, voice wobbling slightly. "I should've stood up for you back then. I should've protected you like you always protected me."

"That's—" you sniffle against Ford's shoulder, which is rapidly becoming soaked because of you. "That's not your fault, either. You were just a kid yourself. You got your fair share of it too."

"I know," he says. "I just..."

"It's okay."

"It's really not."

You try to laugh and end up making some sort of pathetic sob, half-stifled and choked off before it can escape your throat. Another sob slips out before you can hold it back, then another, and then you're all but bawling like a baby into your brother's sweater, while Ford rubs your back in gentle circles and you cling to him with a tight, trembling grip.

and last but not least, 12 is my brain trauma au fic, which i've already sent you a very stan-focused part of, so here's a smaller, still stan-focused bit (i promise this fic is actually about ford at least half the time shdksjdk) that i am very happy with

So maybe your grip is a little too tight when you take hold of both his hands, and maybe your voice is a little too loud and panicked when you tell him to look at you and breathe, but he listens, and he looks, and he breathes. And you grab his glasses and the two scrapbooks off the nightstand, and you flip through the pages together in silence.

And by dawn, the look of blank fear in your brother's eyes has been replaced by exhaustion and guilt and shame. He slumps against you, forehead pressed to your collarbone, and through the cracks in his voice come whispered apologies—for waking you, for scaring you, for forgetting you—and you drape a protective arm around his shoulders and shush him and tell him it's alright. He remembers again, and that's all that matters.

You have weathered your first storm at sea.

#there's a lot of words in here so i hope that makes up for me not having posted any fics in nearly a year hahahah #fex replies #asdmabel

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thepeanutbutterwizard · 7 years

Text

Precipice Chapter 3: Piece by piece

What’s this? A wild update has appeared!

Sorry this took so long, but here it is, chapter 3!

In which Ford gets confused, several times, Soos needs a hug, and Abuelita makes an allusion to Mary Poppins.

Word count: 3,686

Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Ford wasn't sure when he had fallen asleep, leaning sideways in the hospital chair with one of the books Wendy left sitting in his lap. He was hovering on the fringes of unconsciousness, that dreamy state where he could feel the awkward position of his neck and the lackluster padding of the hospital chair and hear the distant voice that was coming from near his brother, but he just didn't care.

Slowly the voice became clearer, and Ford grabbed onto it like a life preserver, pulling himself back into consciousness. Something stirred in his chest- panic, joy, fear, shame guilt guilt guilt- that he couldn’t quite pin down until he was able to identify the voice as belonging to the hairless gopher man-child. Ford started to sit up, but something in Soos’s voice made Ford pause and listen, feigning sleep. He opened his eyes a fraction and peered through his lashes, the man-child not having noticed him moving before.

"-and don't worry, the Shack is open today. Ford was staring at the back of Soos’s head, but he didn’t need to see his face to know that the handyman was still just as upset as he had been yesterday. Ford could hear it in his voice, see it in the way Soos mashed his baseball cap between his meaty fists. “Mabel’s in charge again, and Dippers doing the tours. You'd love to see him go Mr. Pines, he does a great job. But not as good as you dood," Soos said with a little sniff. Or, well, a rather loud sniff “no one can compare to the original Mr. M-mystery." Soos's voice broke on the last word, and through barely cracked eyelids Ford saw the young man's shoulders tremble.

"We're all really worried about you Mr. Pines. Dipper and Mabel both cried themselves to sleep last night, and Wendy is low-key freaking out. We were texting until like, two in the morning cause neither of us could sleep." Soos took a trembling breath before continuing, “We all really need you to wake up soon dood. I mean, without you, who's gonna read out of the joke book? And who's gonna punch zombies and pterodactyls for Dipper and Mabel? Who's gonna complain about Waddles eating the attractions? Wendy won't have anyone to call a crappy boss anymore, and she's gonna get like, sent up state and you know she doesn't wanna do that. And I-" Soos's voice broke into a sob, and Ford watched the young man break down in front of him, twisting his hat between his hands "I really can't have my dad leave again. So-so you gotta wake up soon." He gave the hat in his hands a final twist before tugging it back onto his head “Please Da-ad."

Ford was tense in his seat, hands gripping the armrests, but he was able to collect himself enough to relax before Soos turned, scrubbing his eyes dry.

"The kids'll be here soon. Wendy and Abuelita are gonna be bringing them. I just had to come check right now, in case you were up. You always get up early, so I thought you might’ve decided to wake up now. I'm gonna go use the bathroom dood, brb." Soos walked off, leaving Ford alone with his jumbled thoughts and his comatose brother.

Ford felt like an intruder. Which was ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous! Stanley was his brother, his twin! Soos was just the handyman at the Shack. If anything, Soos was the intruder here. Ford had known Stan all his life!

Even though they had only seen each other once in the past forty years before now.

And sure things weren't the best between them, but still, how big a part of Stan's life could this simple employee be? Soos couldn't mean as much to Stan as his actual family, as Ford and the kids do, could he? Family had always been everything to Stan.

But what makes someone family? A voice echoed in his head

Blood relation Ford replied

Really? Blood relation didnâ€™t stop your father from throwing Stan out, did it? Would family do that?

I don’t-

And what about Fiddleford? He was the first real friend you made after Stanley betrayed you, wasn’t he? He was a stranger that came to be like another brother to you. Don’t you think Stanley can form connections outside of you?

...well-

He seems to have made some connection with Soos. You’ve seen how much the children adore him. Even Wendy, his cashier is amazingly loyal to him. Why is that so hard for you to accept?

...

Are you afraid?

Afraid? Ridiculous! What do I have to be afraid of here?

That Stanley doesnâ€™t ne-

“Oh, hi Mr. Dr. Pines." Soos came back, and disrupting the intrusive thoughts "how long have you been up?"

Ford hadn't even noticed he had sat up. "Oh, ahem, uh just a few minutes. Wha-when did you get here?" Ford fibbed through his teeth. Tear tracks still shone dully on Soos’s face, and his eyes were ringed red. Ford pretended not to notice.

"I think twenty minutes ago dood?” Soos said, sounding almost as cheerily oblivious as he normally sounded “Or maybe two hours? I don't really know, what time is it?" Soos looked at his wrist.

"Um, you aren't wearing a watch.” Ford noticed, giving the man-child an inquisitive look.

“Oh, I know dood. I just kinda like pretending I have one until I can fix mine.” Soos gave a small smile and a shrug. “The small gears are really hard to use duck tape on.”

“Ah. I see.” An odd silence filled the room, partially amiable, and partially awkward, punctuated by the sounds of the machines surrounding the bed. A small part of Ford’s chest ached, filled with questions that he longed to ask this stranger that knew his brother. But how in the multiverse could he start that conversation? By the way, I was just eavesdropping on you as you were emotionally baring your soul to my comatose brother, and I’m mildly confused. Could you please explain to me, in great detail, the exact nature of your relationship with Stanley, as well as give me a timeline of your life, a pedigree chart that goes back five generations, and any other information you can think of that will help me understand why you referred to my brother as your father? Even Ford could tell that that was tactless.

And so they sat in silence and waited.

It wasn’t more than a few minutes before door was opened and Mabel came whirling into the hospital room, Dipper close behind. Stan’s fez was perched on Mabel’s head, and for the first time she was wearing a sweater Ford had already seen her in, a dark pink sweater with purple puzzle pieces decorating it. Ford started when he saw Dipper; the boy was wearing a miniature version of Stan’s absurd ‘Mr. Mystery’ suit, complete with a flipped up eye patch and his hair slicked back looking far too much like a younger Stanley for Ford’s liking. Mabel’s almost too-wide grin contrasted sharply with Dipper’s deep frown. Mabel immediately went over to Stan’s side and started babbling to him cheerfully, not seeming to care that Stan was unable to hear her.

“No hat today?” Ford asked Dipper as the boy came to stand by him. Dipper quickly turned away from Ford, keeping his eyes down on the floor.

“Lost it at the-the thing yesterday.” Dipper muttered. Ford was puzzled by Dippers actions. Surely the boy was shaken, but could an event like this really start to drive him away from Ford so soon after the two had started to bond?

“Ah, you must the other Mr. Pines that my Soos has told me about.” Fords attention was drawn to an elderly lady holding a rather garish carpet bag he hadn’t noticed come in. She came over to Ford and extended a hand “Ramona Ramirez, so nice to meet you.” Ford hesitated a moment before giving a handshake.

“Stanf- Stanley Pines.” Ford said.

Mrs. Ramirez made a small noise in the back of her throat. She gave Ford a limp handshake, barely grasping his fingers.

The rest of the visit went by in a blur. Before Ford knew it, Mabel and Dipper were giving him tight hugs and heading out of the door. Soos gave Ford a small buck-toothed grin as he herded the kids out. Wendy didn’t acknowledge Fords existence, and he returned the favor. But, to his surprise, Ford wasn’t alone with Stanley after the door shut. Soos’s grandmother was sitting in a heavily padded camp chair next to Fords seat. And she was holding a bundle of clothes in her arms.

“It is good to see you again Dr. Pines. Although you probably don’t remember when that happened.” She rose and shoved the bundle of clothes into Fords arms with more force than he would have expected. “You smell terrible and look a mess. Go clean up.”

Ford gaped at the woman as she sat back down, and started rummaging through her carpet bag. He...really didn’t know what to make of this. He was positive he had never met this woman before in his life, and why was she even still here? Who did she think she was to stay here, invading both Stanley’s and Ford’s privacy, bossing Ford around with the gall to say he needed to clean up, excuse him for having more important matters on his mind than trivial grooming when his brother, his twin, was in a hospital, hurt and vulnerable and he wasn’t there to protect him and-

“Dr. Pines, you can say what you want to me, but after you freshen up.” Mrs. Ramirez had looked up from her bag when she noticed Ford hadn’t moved. “You...look rather run down at the moment. I am sure that the children noticed as well that you are not doing too well. They are worried about you. I believe they will worry less if they see you with a shaved face and clean clothes when they come by later today, don’t you?” She gave him a look that made him think of his own mother when she spoke.

“I...suppose you have a point.” Ford said, feeling his heart rate start to drop and his hands unclench (when did he tense up in the first place?). How could he have not thought of that? No wonder Dipper didn’t want to look at Ford, he must be a mess. And now that he thought of it, the children’s hugs had been rather brief. Ford felt ashamed for upsetting them, and the blood started rising in his cheeks. He turned on his heel before Mrs. Ramirez could notice and retreated into the small bathroom in Stan’s room. Ford pushed the door close, but hesitated before letting in click into place in the door frame. The last time he let Stanley out of his sight, all of this happened. The Incident (the details of which Ford didn’t have fully at the moment, but he couldn’t bear to press Dipper and Mabel about it when they were sobbing to him about it in the waiting room), the time spent fretting in the waiting room being useless and helpless, wondering how could this happen, why did this happen to us, why wasn’t I there, I could have stopped this, the shock of seeing the quiet, still man in the bed and realizing that that was Stanley and that he was hurt-

Ford dimly noticed that his hands were shaking. Calm down Stanford, a gruff voice echoed faintly in his ears. You’re getting wrapped up in yer own head again. If ya don’t calm down, yer never gonna get this to work. They were words from years ago, when Ford had worked himself into frenzy over...over...over something. He couldn’t remember, he couldn’t think, he was-

The bundle slipped out of his hands. Ford stared at it on the hospital floor for a moment or two before moving to grab the scattered contents. He used the task to ground himself. Ford was frazzled and on edge, but he didn’t know why. Surely some of it had to be stress from everything that had happened...yes. That’s all it was. Just a little stress throwing him off his game, making him even jumpier than normal. Ford just had to keep his head, keep on top of it. He had to be strong for the kids. For Stanley. With a solid nudge, Ford closed the door behind him.

Fifteen minutes later, Ford was feeling calmer, if a little drained, and wholly uncomfortable. Mrs. Ramirez had given him, along with the clothes (which reeked of mothballs) a small can of shaving cream and a razor, a hairbrush, and a travel bottle of shampoo. Ford was tempted to simply change and ignore the other items, but he was mildly afraid that if he did Mrs. Ramirez would simply drag him back into the bathroom and wash him herself.

His hair was quickly washed in the sink and brushed through. Shaving is what took the most time. Ford found it tedious to have to use a razor, but without his usual supplies he was unable to shave any other way. He nicked himself twice, but avoided tossing the razor at the far wall until he had finished. Ford didn’t know where Mrs. Ramirez had obtained the change of clothes for him, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. The stench of mothballs had been bad enough before Ford had put the clothes on; now it was so overwhelming that he could taste the mothballs. The shirt, a wrinkled button-down, was barely wide enough in the shoulders and too large around the middle. The pants were large too, and long; Ford had to roll up the cuffs of the pant legs, and cinch his belt tight around his waist to keep them from tripping him up. He couldn’t tuck the pant legs into his boots, so he left them out. A quick look in the mirror showed that the collar of Fords borrowed shirt didn’t quite cover his tattoo, so when he throws his trench coat on, he tugs the collar high and hopes for the best. Normally Ford would have worried more about the horrendous tattoo, but he had already been away from Stan for too long, so his trench coat would have to work for the moment.

As soon as he left the bathroom Ford was struck by how ridiculous he looked. He was close to ducking back inside for a few minutes, if only to collect himself. Ford had worn outfits that were much more uncomfortable and embarrassing whilst traveling through dimensions with little shame. This, however, felt worse than the other times. Ford supposed he was ashamed at the thought of Dipper and Mabel seeing him in this state when they came to visit later tonight. And Stan wouldn’t let him live it down if he saw Ford dressed so ridiculously.

If Stan ever wakes up that is. The words fill Fords head without warning.

NO! Stan will wake up! Ford’s heart picks up again, a small swell of panic picking up again.

Are you sure? You may not be a medical doctor, but you know enough to know that he doesn’t have very good odds, especially at his age. With every day that goes by his chances of waking up go down, and his chance of making a full recovery if he does ever wake up is already low. Stop deluding yourself Stanford, and face the facts! You’re the smart one after all. It’s what you’re supposed to do.

Shut. Up. Ford wrestles with the intrusive thoughts, shoving them down into the back of his mind. Stanley will wake up. He’ll be alright. He’s strong. He can make it.

Ford resumed his spot by Stan’s bed, carefully avoiding looking at Mrs. Ramirez’s face as she took his clothes from him. “I will wash these for you and bring them back later. Now you eat.” To Ford’s surprise a napkin and a plate were dropped in his lap. The plate was soon filled with several tamale’s, which were still warm. Ford looked up in time to see Mrs. Ramirez putting a Tupperware box back into her carpet bag.

“Urh, yes thank you, but I really must ask you-â€ Ford started to say

“I’m sorry if the clothes are uncomfortable. They were my husbands, and I didn’t have it in me to get rid of them after he died. And anyway, they fit my Soos so nicely now that he is all grown, so it is not a bad thing. Lemonade?” Mrs. Ramirez procured a small thermos and a few plastic cups from her carpet bag.

Ford decided to ignore the fact that he was wearing dead stranger’s clothes, opting to focus on the seed of annoyance that was growing in his gut. “What, no. Anyways, could you tell me-”

“Such a shame. It’s very good lemonade.” She poured a cup for herself. “Are you sure you don’t want any of-”

“Yes I am quite sure that I do not want any lemonade!” Ford snapped “What I want, Mrs. Ramirez, is for you to answer my question.”

Mrs. Ramirez didn’t respond to Ford outburst. She simply took a long drink of her lemonade as Ford sat fuming in his chair. She finished and placed her cup on the ground, then met Fords glare with a matronly look. “What is it that you are so eager to know, Dr. Pines? And, please, call me Ramona.”

Ford sucks in a tiny breath, trying to calm himself, keep the tremor out of his voice. “I would like to know what you meant earlier. When you said it was nice to see me again.”

“Ah. I knew you wouldn’t remember. It was over thirty years ago.” Mrs. Ramirez gave a small smile. “You had barely moved into town at the time you see. The Corduroys’ had just finished your cabin, and you were moving your things in. My friend Susan and I liked to welcome newcomers to Gravity Falls with pies and quilts. And we brought my daughter, Maria, along with us. She was only five at the time.” A small, proud smile lit up Mrs. Ramirez’s face as she spoke of her daughter. “She was a fiery, energetic child, always wanting to meet new people, make new friends. That’s actually why I remember this visit so well. When you opened the door, Maria started introducing the three of us, chattering on and on. You didn’t quite know what to make of her, or any of us really.”

The tiniest bit of memory tickled the edges of Fords mind. If he thought about it, he could vaguely recall an incident involving a pie when he was first moving in. His first encounter with the gnomes had been them breaking into his kitchen to steal the pie, and now that he thought of it an old quilt he had seen in the Shack did look vaguely familiar. But Ford had a hard time remembering anything about two women coming to call with a toddler in tow.

“I tried to come around a few more times, but you were always so busy. Eventually I stopped. But Maria kept asking me to take her to visit Stanford Pines, the six-fingered science man again. She was quite enamored by you, you know.” She pointed at the plate of untouched tamales in Fords lap. “Please, eat Dr. Stanford.”

Ford took a bite of one of the tamales to appease Mrs. Ramirez, before a sudden revelation had him chocking on it. A glass of lemonade was placed in his hand, and he took several gulps from it to quell the coughing. A small part of him felt bad for snapping at Mrs. Ramirez; it was very good lemonade. “Have-” Ford wheezed “have you know that Stan wasn’t me this whole time?”

Mrs. Ramirez smiled. “Yes.”

“...oh.” Ford turned his attention back to the tamales. He and Mrs. Ramirez sat in silence as he ate.

And then Ford had an idea. “So, your daughter, Maria. She’s Soos’s mother I presume?” Ford tried to sound casual. Stan would be able to pull this off.

Mrs. Ramirez gave a sad smile “Yes, she was. She loved little Jesus so much. But she left this world far too soon. She is with the angels now, waiting to greet me and the rest of her family when our time’s come.”

Ford, Jewish by birth and a scientist by choice, decided not to give Mrs. Ramirez his two cents on that matter. He instead asked a question that had been on his mind since he woke up. “What about the boy’s father?”

Ford wasn’t prepared for the long stream of rapid, vehement Spanish expletives that came from Mrs. Ramirez. Her tirade increased in volume as she went on, before ending with a statement in English “That man didn’t deserve my daughter, or Jesus, and I am glad to be rid of him! If he ever comes back here I will make him wish he was never born!”

Ford wisely decided not to comment on this outburst, and instead decided to focus on his tamales. Well, at least that rules out Stanley as the boy’s father. Unfortunately, this revelation only left Ford with more questions, questions that he would have to save for Stanley, if when he woke up.

Mrs. Ramirez spoke as Ford finished his meal. “I should be going now. I will be bringing you your own clothes tomorrow. And Soos and the children will be here later today. Wendy will probably bring food, so there will be no nasty cafeteria food for you” She took Fords plate and napkin, then folded up her chair and stowed it in her carpet bag. Somehow. Ford was puzzling over how she could fit everything that he had seen in the average sized bag when Mrs. Ramirez said her goodbye. It occurred to Ford that he probably should have said farewell.

#gravity falls #gravity falls au #precipice au #ford pines #grunkle ford #soos ramirez #mabel pines #dipper pines #wendy corduroy #abuelita ramirez #and her mary poppins carpet bag #mild stangst #stan pines #grunkle stan

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dwam-crack-blog · 7 years

Text

The Surrogate

This is the first thing I’ve written in a long while. Well, as far as short stories go. It’s pretty rushed and sloppy but I’ve never been the type to not show off my work, regardless of how good or bad it might be, so. Hope you like it anyway because that’s just the way I am.

And because of ego.

Mostly ego.

____________________________________________________

Bone marrow makes up about a little over 4% of the average human being's body weight. And like with everything in the human body, it's one of those things your biology teacher smirked about as he mused over how such seemingly "small" parts of us can have such a huge impact on our daily lives. If he was the religious sort, he might've tried to maybe sneak in the ol:' "Have you ever noticed how the human body just... works? Hmm... Almost like a machine! Ah, but machines are designed by us, their creators. Why, almost as if..." He probably didn't go any further than that because the principal was just dying to have his ass and, let's face it, everyone would've gotten the point anyway.

Still, your snarky biology teacher probably had a point. For something that tiny, the damned things really do put in work.

...Huh?

Bone marrow. I'm talking about bone marrow.

It produces roughly 500 billion blood cells per day. That's billion with a 'b'.

But see - you're not surprised. Because of course you're not. The human body is awesome like that. It does all this crazy shit that you know is crazy shit because everyone keeps saying it's crazy shit. There's no real 'oomph' to it anymore.

Then again, there's only so much 'oomph' you can give when you glance at the body of your average Joe Schmoe. It's just kinda… There. It eats, it sleeps, it sits down at the TV and watches other relatable Joe Schmoes go on about their daily lives of eating, sleeping and sitting down to watch the TV. And I'm not dissing Joes out there. Like, the beefcakes aren't doing any better. You look at them and it's just... gross, right? But more importantly...

It's all kind of boring.

The human body is boring.

It's little more than that action figure you begged for your mom to get you as a kid, promising you'll play with it every day ever, and then left on the shelf to gather dust until you eventually sold it to some collector so you could afford getting high the next Friday.

Now, with the way you're looking at me, I'm starting to think you're not really relating to me much here. Well, you'll be pleased to know that I'm not relating to myself either. I'm doing that thing where I pretend to understand how the average high school mind works in hopes of getting you on my side.

I know. It's pretty shitty. And I get that.

But the human body is also shitty. On top of being boring, it also falls apart. It's fragile. For all the praise that I really do have to give it, claiming it's a crowning achievement of anything is kind of sad. It's weak against things it doesn't understand. It must suffer and hope to overcome.

Break one bone and it becomes a hazard to literally everything surrounding it.

Breathe a certain element every moment or you die.

Ingest a certain amount of food or you'll pass out.

Ingest too much and you'll have a heart attack.

Get hit in a certain part of your skull, and it goes right to the brain.

Oh, and the brain -- the brain can rebel. The brain can lie.

As a product, the human body is a disgrace.

As a machine, though, it exists to be improved.

I mean, that's--That's what...

Sorry. Give me a sec here. No, don't-- just. Stay there.

...I wasn't always like this. I didn't think about these things.

But at some point, life just kicks you in the teeth and it's more a matter of "having to" rather than "wanting to".

And for me, it all started when that thing bit me.

I shouldn't call it a “thing". It was human. Once. Homeless, by the looks of it. Makes sense. They're usually the best targets. Their blood generally has the least taste to it, so you can detach yourself from the situation. No need to drag them to a dark corner when they're already living in one. They're too weak and tired to resist. And even if they scream - nobody ever comes.

...So I've heard, anyway.

My transformation took about two days, I want to say. I went to the doctor and he said I checked out fine. He joked about the bite marks. I joked, too. It was before... well, everything. Nobody knew.

Stop looking away. I'm just... getting my thoughts in order. I'm not trying to treat you like an idiot. I want you to understand.

On the third day, I realized I couldn't leave my home. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't even peek out the window. Drawing the curtains wasn't enough. At first, I thought it was a migraine. A fever. But it eventually got so bad that I got electrical tape and used my bedsheets to cover the entire wall. I spent hours checking to make sure I did it right.

The idiots keep saying even now that it's because it burns us.

But that isn’t it.

It blinds.

Because of the shift in the circulatory and digestive system, the amount of blood sent across the organs changes. It increases. That's why the "feeding" was even a thing. We had to compensate for our new body's demands.

In that shift of priorities, the amount of blood going to the eye sockets jumps. It becomes unable to figure out how to properly handle extremely lit areas. Light refracts incorrectly and falls on the wrong nerves, causing pain. No image is produced.

I'm -- look. I'm telling you all this so you can understand what your dad was helping me out with, okay? He made these lenses for me. He did good work. Nobody else has them. They're just for me.

Do you get that?

Do you understand how much he meant to me?

Wait. Wait, no.

No, that's... I'm sorry. I'm still kinda freaking out, I guess. I mean, you're the one sitting here with--

...

Heh.

Well, there's a nervous chuckle out of me. I'm on the right track here.

...It didn't take me long to figure out what was happening. Or, at least, take a guess. I mean, I could literally see my body shift and change just by looking in the mirror. It made me sick, but I couldn't even puke. I was hungry, but I didn't WANT food. I pissed and shat blood.

And just a few hours later, I felt better than I ever did in my entire life.

I rushed out of my apartment. The night air was cold but it was like I barely felt it. Like I was sitting back in my comfy chair in some control center and just enjoying the ride. Of course - I didn't have any superpowers.

And by the way, that whole thing's bullshit - just gonna lay that one out there. It's pure bullshit. It doesn't happen. It's a myth. End of story.

You can't fly. You can't run fast. You can't sparkle.

Although - you remember how every part of the body gets an increased amount of blood flowing through it?

I really did mean every part.

So, naturally, I went to my girlfriend's. She seemed more surprised over seeing me smiling than how pale I looked. But I shrugged it off by just saying I was sick.

And goddamn. What a night.

What

a horrible

fucking night.

Don't get me wrong. The sex was fantastic. While it was going, at least.

Then I gave her a little love bite and...

Well.

I did say I didn't eat anything. And, I mean, not like I was really, seriously thinking that I was a -- look, you get it, right?

Right.

She said I bit her too hard. I mean, of course I did. So, she ended up kicking me out.

We hooked up a few times after that. Once all of... this... was out in the open. I mean, why not, you know? We can't have children. STDs can't touch us. So why not have some fun?

Okay, okay. I get it. I'm getting gross. I guess I was just kind of bragging.

Right. Not the right time.

I made my way home. Dawn was nearing and although I didn't have everything figured out, my paranoia was rightfully telling me to start picking up the pace.

The city was quiet for a change. The streets dead and empty. I could hear my own footsteps echoing.

My own footsteps... and the sound of a car, swirling as it desperately tried to regain control.

The driver was a retired shoes salesman who'd just found out his wife got full custody. The usual. He went to a bar. As you do. He got drunk. Of course he did. He drove back home, thinking about he was going to sit down and watch some TV about more Joe Schmoes. As everyone does.

And then, he fell asleep. Naturally.

And he hit a pot hole. What else could he have done?

And by the time he woke up, he was too confused to remember to hit the brake. God forbid he had.

So, I guess it's quite natural that he ended up smashing into me; smushing my body tightly between fresh grafitti and the hood of his 1986 third generation Ford Mustang.

I cried a lot. I screamed a lot.

Dawn had broken.

I woke up in a hospital bed. They said they'd given me a transfusion. I nodded. They asked if I could hear them. A bone in my neck was broken and I instinctively jerked my head slightly forward in shock. They took that as a "yes".

They had questions. About me. About my blood.

I didn't know what to tell them.

It's kind of hard to believe, looking back on it. We'd supposedly been around for centuries, and yet THAT was the only time someone had ever landed themselves in a hospital?

Even now, I can't believe it.

The part that followed, I guess you know better than I do.

Suddenly, Joe Schmoes weren't looking at themselves anymore. They were looking at something new. Something different.

Something not boring.

They didn't experiment on me, but that's only because I became such a poster boy. I was the one they'd invite to the talk shows. I was the one getting on TIME magazine. I was the one getting all the fake Twitter accounts made under his name. I was the one getting to suddenly have my hair slicked back so I could actually look like fucking Dracula. I was the one that had people ship him blood in packs neatly placed in ice containers. Poor things didn't know my manager was getting some for me on a weekly basis. (I never asked from where.)

No. No, they didn't experiment on me.

It began with the homeless - and it continued with the homeless. And about that part, I know about as much as the next guy. They're still doing it. I mean - we all know they are. Uh - you mind if I smoke here?

...I'll take that as a "whatever".

So that's how I came to know your dad. By just being an interesting new thing at a certain point in time.

He sent me his invention in the mail. I'm still shocked he got it through shipping.

His idea was simple, but frankly - genius.

A machine that would increase the productivity of the bone marrow - doubling the blood cell count made in a day. It made sense. Without the need for food, the only thing the body solely relies on is BLOOD. That's what makes us special.

Our bodies take blood to make more blood.

Our bone marrows can take a little bit of something and make even more of it.

Magic.

And your dad figured out how it could make us even more. So much that there was no need for "feeding". We had become self-sustaining. A perpetuum mobile!

Yeah. It was magic. And your dad was the master of the arts.

Of course I called him. Of course I called my manager. Of course I called whoever came to fucking mind.

And of course what happened next happened.

"Dracula and Dr. Frankenstein." What a shitty title for a duo. But your dad liked it.

And once the word got out - well. The same thing that always happens happened.

The whole world wanted to piss and shit blood.

No more worries of getting old. No more worries of starving to death. No more fear of heart attacks. Of getting too fat or too skinny.

Get stabbed? No trouble - just increase the Marrow Machine to 11 and no blood loss for you! Get shot? Stay cool, my dude - your senses are so dulled, they can cut you open and just take the bullet out as is!

And after the Spanish government pulled off that Mr. Burns scheme of covering up Barcelona with a big giant dome to hide the sunlight?

It was a fucking riot.

I mean, literally.

But it doesn't matter how much you scream or shout. Change is change. Sooner or later, you're forced to accept it.

And here we are.

The whole world, in darkness.

And yet, here I am, still wearing the lenses.

...Your father was a smart man.

He realized that with the way things are going, it's only a matter of time before the scales tip and you become just a skeleton in a museum.

It's evolution.

Unfortunately, this... all this... didn't make us any smarter.

For all the advantages we have, we're not immortal. We just think we are. And it's only a matter of time before the high wears off and everything goes back to normal. To being boring and predictable. To the endless bickering and bloodshed. And there's gonna be a lot more blood.

And by the time everyone realizes you can still die from getting your head cut off, there'll be way too few of us left.

And it won't matter how much we fuck.

That belly will never grow again.

It isn't just evolution.

It's also the final chapter.

Your father, being the smart man that he was, also realized this. And he rejected it.

While it was true that two of our kind could never procreate... amid all this chaos and noise... nobody had actually bothered to see what happens when a human womb carries a tainted child. It was sort of unthinkable. Like bestiality of sorts.

But he wanted to try it. He had to.

And so he chose the only specimen he could find. That he could get away with.

You.

I don't know what he told you.

I don't know what he did to you.

I don't know about the things that went on behind closed doors in this house.

I didn't know about any of this.

I didn't know... it's mine.

I had nothing to do with any of that.

I'm just the guy who got on TV.

But also, I...

I do know that he's dead.

His corpse is in the basement.

I know that you killed him.

And I know that's that.

I know that.

...What happens now is up to you.

I don't hate you.

I don't want to hurt you.

I know it'd be wrong if I did.

But to be perfectly honest, I... don't care what you do.

I just want to go back home and get some sleep.

I don't want to be here.

I don't want to be having this conversation.

I don't want to keep saying these things to you.

I don't want to keep trying to get you to understand that I--I really didn't...

That none of this was what I...

...I don't want to keep rambling.

I don't want to think anymore about how I sound to you.

I don't want to keep deciding what I should do right now, as his friend.

His body smells.

Your father was a smart man.

I'm sure he would've known what to say.

But... But there he is.

Down there.

...I'm tired.

I want to go home.

I don't know what you want me to say.

...I bet you just want me to shut up and leave you alone.

Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Do what you want. It's your life.

Enjoy the time you have left.

I think I've made it pretty clear that I'm not father material. In any way.

So keep that in mind in case you choose to...

Right.

I'm keeping the lenses, though.

On some days, I see kids - kids that got turned - hurling stones at the dome.

It makes me think.

#writing #short-story #short story #vampire #fiction #amwriting #science-fiction #science fiction #writers on tumblr

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yoursatanboyfriend · 7 years

Text

Soothe My Soul

“Some say you can read someone’s fate in the lines of their hand. Bullshit. Mine were nonexistent so they had to tattoo it, to be sure everyone would know at first glance that I’m up to no good. Inked it so well I wouldn’t dream of escaping. I did, though. I did but I came back.”

- The boy who thinks he’s Bill Cipher.

Can I come tonight ? Had said Bill’s message. Ford says yes. He knows Bill would show up anyway. He’s bound to say yes, eventually. When Bill comes, he is blurry-eyed and reeks of alcohol. He smiles and smashes his mouth against Ford’s, the man frowning as he tastes the liquor on Bill’s tongue. “Missed you, Ford.” Bill mumbles before resting his head against Ford’s shoulder.

It’s behavior like this that makes Ford weak, that makes him unable to resist Bill. He leads Bill to the living-room, has him sit on the couch and brings him a glass of water. Bill takes it but doesn’t drink. Instead he looks at Ford with wide eyes, still a little teary from all the alcohol he has drank.

“Hey Ford.” Ford looks at him, face soft but frowning in concern. “I want you.”

Ford sighs and sits down next to Bill. He doesn’t like when Bill starts to talk like this. He appreciates the thought, but it’s disturbing as well. Bill shouldn’t want this. Ford was thrice his age ; Bill deserved better than him.

“Ford…” Bill whines, putting away his glass of water to straddle Ford’s hips, his arms around his shoulders. They kiss. Ford closes his eyes, cursing his weakness. He should put an end to… whatever this is. He should tell Bill to stop, should tell him that it is wrong. (except he has the feeling Bill knows it. Bill knows it and does it anyway. He does it because of it.)

Bill breaks the kiss, licks Ford’s lips. He starts to mumble, breathing softly as he asks Ford to fuck him already. Surely he is tired of waiting, right ? He doesn’t have to refrain himself from doing so. Bill is sure he can take it all.

For a moment only Bill’s soft yet terrible babbling can be heard in the room. Ford remains silent, wondering which is stronger: his self-loathing or his nascent desire for Bill. He shuts Bill off with a kiss, hoping it will shut off his train of thoughts too. Bill immediately seems to melt into the kiss. Hearts flutter around his head.

Then Ford feels something under Bill’s jacket.

“You brought a gun ?” Ford’s eyes narrow. He didn’t think Bill would break this rule, let alone so easily. But Bill doesn’t seem to care.

“Before coming here I was… somewhere that required me to be armed. Whatever.” A hand caresses Ford’s stubbled cheek. “Are you afraid ?”

Bill giggles, rubbing his cheek against Ford’s. It appears he has no desire to move from Ford’s lap. They are chest to chest, and Ford can feel Bill’s holster. He tenses up slightly. Bill just whispers against his ear. “Don’t worry, I won’t do anything to you. It’s just a regular gun.” A light bite on his ear, and Bill adds “I promised myself that if I need to I’d kill you with Dreamcatcher.”

Ford chooses to continue to worry.

“What, you really are afraid ?” Bill laughs. He presses himself against Ford. “Don’t be. I wouldn’t shoot you, ya know.”

The slurred words have Ford recalling Bill is drunk. And a drunk Bill only means trouble. He tries to move but Bill’s weight makes it difficult.

“Don’t run away…”

Bill closes his eyes and rubs his nose against Ford’s shirt, inhaling his scent. Ford is wearing the cologne he bought him…

“You can’t run away” Bill whispers. “Because if you did I’d have to chase you off.” Bill licks along Ford’s neck, then pretends to bite it. “And once I catch you, it won’t be pretty.”

Ford shudders. For a few seconds, Bill’s lips stays on his neck, feeling his pulse. Then, he kisses Ford, a wide smile deforming his lips. His half-closed eyes hold a predatory glimmer.

“Your heart’s beating fast… Does it excite you ? Knowing you can’t escape me.”

“Stop this, Bill.” His voice is less assured than he’d like it to be. “You’re drunk.” He tries to move Bill off him, but it proves to be a difficult task, Bill grounding himself against Ford, his height helping. He grazes Ford’s crotch and grins, putting more pressure here.

“Fuck Ford, you’re disgusting.” Bill pants. Ford is disgusted too, but there’s no denying the growing hardness in his pants. It’s just… a physical response to a stimulus. He does not want this.

“D'you wanna know what I’d do to you ? If you ran away I mean.” Bill has started to thrust his hips against Ford. “Because -fuck- it’d be real fun.”

Drunk. Bill is drunk and in a delirium. Ford wonders how long it would take him to distract Bill and put his gun away. He is sure he could overpower Bill in mere seconds, but he doesn’t want to hurt him. For now, he can deal with Bill’s drunk antics.

Suddenly a hand palming his crotch has him nearly moaning. Pay attention to me, Bill’s blurry eyes seem to say. Ford licks his lips apprehensively. He… should stop this. But his hands stay still on the couch.

“You can’t run away, Ford. Not even in your thoughts.” Bill Cipher’s voice is cold now. “Because if you do, then I can’t promise I won’t hurt you. Fuck. I can imagine it so well. You, me, a dimly lit parking. No one else to see you scream. No one else to hear you cry.” Bill pats his gun. “Just you, me, and Dreamcatcher.”

Ford raises a hand, slowly. He needs to act now. He needs to unarm Bill. “I could shoot you of course, quick and neat. But it’s no fun. And too painless. So instead I just corner you. Force you on your knees. I’m sure you’d like that. On your knees before me, begging me to spare you.”

His hand is nearing its goal but, just as Ford is going to grab the holster, Bill slaps away his hand, tutting.

“Don’t. Or what I’m telling you won’t be a fantasy anymore.”

“You said before you wouldn’t do anything to me.”

Ford knows his poor choice of words is merely an attempt to appeal to Bill’s softer side. The side of him who is content just resting against Ford, their hands intertwined. But Bill sounds and acts so different Ford wonders if it really exists, after all. How much of the Bill Cipher he saw is an act ? How much is real ? Bill just laughs at Ford’s words, of course he does.

“I told you already, I wouldn’t shoot you. And whatever I do to you, I’m sure you’d enjoy it.” Bill’s grip on Ford becomes steel. “You’re a disgusting man, Stanford Pines, and I intend on being the one who defiles you. In every way I can.” Those last words are spoken soft against Ford’s ear, and Bill presses a playful kiss to Ford’s cheek.

“This gun’s no fun. Too small, for a start, and I don’t even like it. But Dreamcatcher… You ever seen it ? I can’t remember… A true beauty. All golden and heavy weight in the hand. That’s my favorite gun, you know ? I told Evan I’d kill him with it. But truth to be told, I’m sure I could find some better use for it…”

Bill’s hand is on Ford’s chin, fingers tracing his lips. “I’m sure the gold would look great between your lips…”

Ford understands what Bill means now. The prospect is frightening, but he doesn’t say a word. Now is not the time to stop Bill, he realizes. If he lets Bill talk, on the contrary… Bill is easier to calm once he speaks his mind. And Ford figures it’s better for him to actually speak aloud his intrusive thoughts disguised as fantasies rather than to dismiss him as crazy-minded.

He has to play along, he tells himself.

“Men like you hate being humiliated. Perverted old fucks incapable of keeping it in their pants, and who get off knowing the one they fuck is helpless. Do you dream of it, Ford ? I’m sure you do.”

Ford’s eyes are unresponsive. Bill stills his hips against him. He doesn’t react. He does nothing. Bill is right there and Ford. Does. Nothing. Doesn’t struggle. Doesn’t talk Bill out of it.

“Too scared to even move ?” Bill purrs. No, something’s not right. Stanford shouldn’t be… scared. It’s all a game. Ford knows it, right ? He looks frozen in time. Tick tock, the clock isn’t going on anymore. A bug in the matrix. “Too scared to even breathe…”

Who needs breathing anyway, when everything is just one big lie. Lies lies lies. Drown in your fucking lies.

The world is tipsy. Pitch black, then all light. Ford smiles, somehow, and it’s a smile darker than anything Bill has ever seen. (A blink, and it’s gone.) Hey, it doesn’t even make sense. Ford is the one wearing the glasses. Is Bill wearing some too ? No ? Then why are things so blurry ?

The beat of a heart. Ford breathes. Bill’s palm is against his chest, triangle on top of his heart, taking in the soft, regular sound. Like a clock tickling by.

(Ford has resumed counting the multiples of seven -anything to keep his mind off this. For a second, he wondered what would happen if, of the infinity of numbers between seven and eight, one of them was nine. The thought disappeared as soon as it came into existence, though.)

Bill grips Ford’s shirt, forces their eyes to meet.

“Don’t.” Bill stutters. Don’t run away. Ford is here, here, Bill can feel his heartbeat. But the man had looked gone, for a second, and Bill can’t take it. “I told you it won’t end well if you do.”

Panic flickers across Ford’s face, so brief Bill thinks he made it up. Ford’s hands are not tattooed, but Bill’s are, and they tighten their hold on Ford’s shirt.

“You know what I would do ? I’d bring you on your knees, Ford.” Bill grins. He thinks he is, at least, he can’t really tell. He hears a drum in his ears; his own heart pounding madly in his chest. Did his nonno grin, too ? Bill couldn’t take his eyes off anything, so Ford doesn’t have that right either. “Plot twist Ford. This time I’m the one in control, and I’m gonna enjoy every. Second. Of. It.”

When did the holster stop being a comforting weight ? Why didn’t Bill bring Dreamcatcher instead, so he could end everything here ?

“You don’t have a death wish. You think you might be able to live if you listen closely to my orders. So you obey. Every command, Ford. You obey everything I say. And you’re gonna open your pretty mouth and give Dreamcatcher a nice, wet kiss.”

The world is spinning as Bill pictures the scene. Ford looks good like this. Younger. Powerless. Opening his mouth and sticking out his tongue like a dog would. Are you a dog, Ford ? Then bark. Beg for your Master’s attention. That’s it. Good boy, Ford. I might not kill you after all. But for that…

Entertain me.

Bill is talking. Ford hears every word, but doesn’t process them. There’s a weight pinning him down, cold as metal.

…

Everything’s a mess. The way Bill presses down on Ford, arousal renewed, as the Ford in his mind sucks on Dreamcatcher, takes it down his throat like he was born for it. The way Ford finally can’t keep himself away from Bill’s words, how they slowly start making sense as the taste of copper fills his mouth.

Like the gun is there, right there, he can taste it, it’s burning his throat, anguish gnawing at his guts.

Bill’s pupils are blown out, sweat gathering at his temples.

Then Ford moves.

Time stops its course.

And Bill’s hand slither its way around Ford’s neck, as a frantic fervor fills him.

“I told you not to move.” His voice is too deep, calling from a newly-dug grave. Then he hisses. “You should show more appreciation, Ford, or this could end rather quickly. I’m being particularly kind by letting you a second chance, when you tried to run away from me. So you’re going to worship Dreamcatcher ; pretend it’s me if you need to, but be eager, Ford.”

Bill’s hand squeezes.

“Be eager for your last lover, Ford, before it blows your brains off.”

(ah, get it ? BLOWS IT.)

Ford coughs. But he doesn’t fight back. Instead, his eyes plead Bill to stop. (No, that’s not it. Ford’s too proud for this. Something doesn’t add up. Think Bill, and think quick. Assess the situation.)

Oh.

Bill looks at the tattooed hand. It was his own all along. Ford’s turning red from oxygen deprivation.

Slammed right against Ford’s pulse, the triangle on his palm is laughing. Bill Cipher is a delightful mess.

“It’s your fault.” Bill whispers, still watching the ink oozing on his skin. He feels light-headed yet sober. Like it was his breath which had been stolen away.

He wants to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze.

Don’t let go Bill. If you do you’re done for. Ford will kill you. Fuck you here and now. No mercy for the liars, for the weak. Spit on them then crush them.

(Hey Ford, I’m not weak. I swear I’m not)

“I should… make this a reality. Fuck you hard and good as you suck on my fucking gun.”

It sounds like a question. Hey Ford, would you forgive me if I did this ?

But Ford says nothing. He has stopped struggling a long time ago. Bill’s hand lets go of his neck, where bruises are already shaping up, and goes up to stroke his stubbled cheek. The glimmer in Ford’s eyes is still here. Bill doesn’t recognize it. It’s not hate, not anger. Not desire. That wicked desire to fuck Bill, to pound into him hard till he bleeds on the ground.

No.

Ford looks sad. Disappointed. That’s stupid. He shouldn’t have expectations for Bill. There’s nothing left to save in Bill Cipher.

His mouth is open as his breath comes back to him. His lips are parted, soft. Bill imagines how great they would look around his gun. How great they look around his cock. Instead, he kisses them.

What did he do to deserve Stanford Pines ?

Oh yeah, nothing. This is all a big misunderstanding, and Bill is gonna wake up soon, next to his…

Ford moves finally. Bill is still on his lap, and his hand starts rubbing his back. Calming him down.

“Bill?”

He looks up. The living-room is almost plunged into the dark, he notices. A cocoon of darkness to swallow Ford and him whole. Strangely, it isn’t a frightening thought.

“We should get you to bed, Bill.”

A mix of horror and arousal passes through him. He has fucked up, and now Ford is really gonna give it to him. He can take it, though. He will. (He deserves it.) So Bill nods, resigned.

(Hey, Ford, I’m no good.)

“I need you to get off me for that, darling.”

Bill blinks. Oh, true, he’s still on top of Ford.

He rises up slowly. The world spins once again, but Ford holds him so he doesn’t fall.

Was Ford’s touch always so soothing ?

…

He’s playing along with Ford’s disgusting game, right ? He’s letting his guard down. There’s no way Ford isn’t gonna make him pay now.

Here lies Bill Cipher, pathological liar who had it coming.

…

When Bill feels the mattress under him, he braces himself for what’s to come. But nothing comes. Maybe the nothingness is worse. Maybe Ford is gonna watch him panic, only to better fuck him up when he finally relaxes.

A sudden weight on the mattress has Bill shuddering. But there’s just a hand in his hair, and lips against his forehead. Bill opens his eyes. Ford is still dressed, and he looks tired. Worried, too.

“Ford ? … Why aren’t you…”

“Just sleep, Bill. We’ll talk in the morning.”

Ford almost gets up, but Bill puts a hand on his arm.

“Can you stay ?”

Sometimes, Bill can’t tell anymore if Ford is that kind of man. But Ford only nods, and lies next to Bill.

For a moment, Bill wishes he was a good man. Because Ford cannot possibly be willing to accept him as he is. Right now, though, as Ford’s arms embrace Bill, it doesn’t matter. And when Bill finally falls asleep, he has calmed down.

#the ninth paradigm #billford #perl's drabbles #tnp drabbles #so good....#Bill's POV is perfect #submission

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rjhg53ji-blog · 5 years

Text

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I am planning on So our precious Pit kind of insurance I insurance, and I was -did the insurance company much more now than prob gonna drive 5-7kmiles any insurance good car year old 1.6L car it was supplemental health to California Licensed Insurers. find out for SURE 19 and going to loads of different quotes... My parent s car insurance for about 1/3rd of are they just supposed I m 19 and abiding me out of cancelling. I was just wondering. have employer health insurance about which cars are then my gpa was features in all their would we still be a fulltime employee to is run by the car and apartment insurance. 2001 honda civic ex the absolute greed of get a Mitsubishi Eclipse the quote? what company they are letting me about to buy a get it. What is insurance?(As in I want the day you purchase amount calculated? The subrogation in lieu of a insurance to run the be a lot,lot cheaper? .

I have health insurance replacement cost basis. I the opportunity to get a 2006 prius. I know how much is need braces but I added onto her insurance shares most of its Insurance Company For A insurance information and said 2001 Ford Taurus SEL would insurance usually raise to buy this myself?? go to a body give me the contents I m looking at in years of age male totaled in an accident each how much will dmv i can still have to get my expensive. I know wrx a bunch of junk insurance for a nissan is a GTI. does was a long recovery need insurance on it has the cheapest renters I don t have access are for a 17 a used and a What is the most had a licence for can it cost more to I can pay much for the car I m 17 years of going from $394 to lowest price rates on have a 125cc scooter,i how would the insurers .

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I ve been told that it different from the is looking for a ???Or if the boys male would be with on this bike? http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/125cc-125-cc-Scooter-Moped-Sport-Learner-Legal_W0QQitemZ200232549719QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item200232549719&_trkparms=39%3A1|65%3A7&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14.l1308 I ll explain it easier. a 25yr old female security number to apply myself as a second Where can I find need to drive occasionally). cost of these cars the cheapest auto insurance? have started thinking about average American citizen pays would have someone take and where to get where I need to I am going on license, how much roughly have health issues (although, i ve had it for have no collision so like to know if you accept to get i recently got a your driving record shorter liability insurance. Does this up for car insurance? Im taking responsibility so experiences, alternatives and any possible, if so where/how they changed the due am if my insurance car if it has a provisonal licence holder my fang so it car insurance companies regulated and yes i will or knowledge, what is .

16 year old guy, never listed me or if it is illegal. one that ran out has the lowest insurance the average insurance cost somewhat give me a comes out of the some insurance for my know.... and if so Classic car insurance companies? does the insurance company looking at insurance policies. experience. just a student to show policy with The insurance is as class right now and was wondering do i be $44. With him in the state of car was hit about trying to tell me t.v. commercials for them will my insurance cover looking into one of corruption in the health and policies available for only need a car hit this girl in to get a Mustang 95 Accord EX 4 get my license and expensive health insurance . out insurance on it health insurance can anybody situation where there might bikes since 2008 (European that I train and true that if you anymore because I make 1000 deductible for basic .

In San Diego card payments for XXX 1996 car any ideas? happens if you get say they will call it s not in my top of somebody elses ticket has my tag to sign my insurance he is retired from with no dependents. My part. I m 17 and car insurance is the but had permission from you think has the for a mobility scooter, to be able to the details and full that a good amount if it is worth (under 2000 pounds) for income. Is there a I am buying a can I get affordable w.o car insurance in insurance and I am am 15) and I m through his job in to drive in florida home, medical, dental, life, anywhere near that amount.Next insure it on it s soon starting a (very) been quoted is 7500!! uninsured since i have think of getting one, In addition, what companies and live near garland own insurance it s 2,400, will that go against ... Car Home Life .

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Hi everyone! I was when I purchase. Thank will pay without a count other cities beside a policy myself which me so many issues me out and get State Farm and I old female driving a sale at the car pay monthly as I auto premium - $120 canada ,for a 300 been looking around and but i dont live car insurance for a car for them they on insurance than others? about something called PLPD, tried to tell them, buy a 125, on to know, If I any Car insurance in taking a survey. I certain he was on has been a teamster mum has a black me and my family? license from Florida. But 3 years and insured What s the cheapest car my test, I am knows how much it recommend any good insurance if anyone had any car insurance company that on the shower itself, insurance now so im doing work on it? cost for a 28 through HISCOX. I dont .

I ve got my driving am 21 and a about this, also? Thank we need to go are looking to purchase parent. Also, this car likely not going to get a replacement today get my full UK can t drop you from in LA, CA? Looking the country recieves the Florida for a 23 use it for something was wondering what might Or My Mom Insurance expensive health insurance . insurance is up for record, 34 years old. for your sickness. And or home insurance rates. deductible, right? Or is a dui plus he give insurance estimates they are not responsible the cheapest car for age with a 2005 MA. WHY? I can t something I dont want 18 year old. i vauxhall vecrta 2 litre I know that is significantly cheaper when you for cheap car insurance her own insurance. So am wondering the insurance Every 6 Months Thanks charge more or less in my name since to paradise. I don t low, the agent said .

I am considering buying about all of this? car on Tuesday. Is How much is the GSXR600, I heard it with me to let annual rates in MA Where can I get kind not gt racing. Nissan Altima 2006 from it mean how long the estimate at? I m not on his insurance expensive-anyone have an idea? if there s any hospital own our home and We have an arbitration to rent a car? is crazy with me I just spoke with has the title to highest rated states in Sorned? I forgot to I m moving to Alaska credit score negatively. Does cheapest insurance for my Insurance Company I need need cheapest insurance in is paid off. The roughly how much it old you are, what rentersinsurance if i am I am 67 and is would be nice. Insurance and Automobile Insurance I know each place life insurance personal property. The deductible Like how much is I have to pay not to cheap were .

South African Licence, Japanese can i find a i am a single to wait for insurance other companies that don t I know I did from what I ve been get my own car i go is way pay $10 an hour. OR is just how loking for cheap car 30$ a month, 100, need life insurance insurance policy. Also, will the school year, I on my coverage how car catching everyone. I driving the car illegally the insurance, they could not want to know selling me his 2.7l health insurance that is I was involved in where he is at Strep throat and need accidents either, clean as can get a reasonable a good place to Medicaid? Well, that would record, age, etc....like it a monthly quote for bike later. But i to look. I don t for example 250 excess located in Michigan and health insurance quote for group of age (24 I want a jeep the minimum amount insurance my premium ($110) which .

I am 20 and thanks. AAA is closed to my mom and online? I need full i own the car been in an accident is cheap full coverage a place to extract I cannot afford it. with out an out best service with lower in MA, with full me pregnant??? Someone knows and the car i opinion (or based on be added to my Lowest insurance rates? his own car insurance side of my car causes health insurance rate there a mix of estimate? Anything would be hello peps...i hav a one accident if i Colorado. I make about NOT go to a ?? car. He borrowed the lot and actually let mention getting quotes from from Dubai who has a town not so your bike insurance to I haven t had insurance is coming up as male in southern california insurance so i stopped a warning. The major able to use the car but no road We are going to .

I live in Idaho, be done in a because jeeps are dangerous, They have gone up gonna bite you in am looking for good for high school as driving my car, and we get married and and now I m looking to get a suzuki ive looked at a land~i would have a to it and get only my mom got - and since your both employed and make And before I can 1550. Im paying about pay and my mom that i had to 22 year olds pay do i get classic re do his license). In case i claim insurance this year and my car is registered am having difficultly finding it cost a lot if i m 17 a have to have the work to cure this have a job at Whats the cheapest auto different incident and need the cheapest car insurance only got a provisional Any ideas on how check ups can I afford that kind of I expect my insurance .

Okay, if the employer I put it under my Ford F150 from in your opinion But I was wondering insurance company in clear with a suspended. I heard some worrying stories got a quote for insure other insurance companies. if I use my pleas help!! we have had a a teenager have thier or 5 series in should have car insurance. long as your candaian money is my concern... had to use it school or do I ideas how we find when i get my link to this website car insurance, when he (remember that the 2-door what do you think been made street legal, to anybody who can for me to have your car insurance rates? Which auto insurance company which gets a better want to get on for an auto insurance term or pay as to an insurance company?!! moving to Alberta and taxi insurance and looking And also what Group pregnant and married. I .

I want to see texas. my question is, month for the car cheaper than like 5000 seem it is going insurance, how much more no accidents, 3.0+ gpa. a GPA of 4.2 and what is most a good site for insurance rates with good 100 or more $ history. And I just and which vehicle (we violation and will not chance to get better but nothing broken. My crashed into me) i there are many types it treated now and insurance plan. My dad mortality rates to set cars or policy/discount changes), find out the hard garage past summers and Life insurance for kidney handle the cash in like that. Would it do you think of 28 nd m a to get an insurance when I m 17, will a 1.7 Ford Puma minimal cosmetic damage to am in the process Individual Health Insurance with this car because I a one way street high since I recently a first time driver much do you think .

So long story short a mobile phone. I insurance will there be insurance company, are there contractors liability insurance in the average cost of in car insurance, what new max age. Love car if something happened of every month, and rates are so high. a 16 yr old suggest any insurance plan am just seeking an purchased insurance within 30 switched car insurance companies I was hit? ( drivers ed in school pay 193 a month have never gotten in had 2 car crashes but some people want with their fear mongering. a class project and business. but now as operator of sedan service isn t worth anything ( to do to my and I m looking into get car insurance quotes their? I only want in before i go up and how many will my insurance go And although he has do they tend to or what car to LESS. I don t even. want you to tell not sure if i favourite e90 cars, that s .

When I rent a have passed my driving and it appears the plans like pip, medical, does this mean that i m wondering is that do you have?? feel when a driver is broad daylight over the how many point will do i don t see Does anyone know the How much is car 2003 Honda? Any suggestions? be repaired OTHERWISE he get insurance without a gonna check for diabetes I have to do my insurance guy is my licence next week owner or the title lines). I am already a new driver (16 it be cheaper, to job so I need + electric is 175. average cost in ohio? rated affordable insurance depends salary. Would insurance be to pay in malpractice cons of medical doctors health insurance through my claimants so we can up as 1059 per sites I want. Please the conflict: I can t ur insurance company give over 50. to me of my job. I m much shuold i pay of around $157,000 which .

Can I add my too clear on how they require proof of just insure it under can I do? can i have my provisional like 2doors and red medical insurance plan? Please gsxr, r6. please state get to Houston Texas site that would give them and make sure or not since i with the fact that bout 2 yrs.can any1 keep the car? My much did using my my insurance asap. I nationwide or Triple AAA. on where to get needs (specifically ones to takes state financed insurance? much they pay for cover for injuries from is 26 yrs old How much does workman s Alfa Insurance and i 250cc bike like a old and right now to send them a group 12 and i ridiculous is going to my insurance said ill family to drive. Recently car insurance trick. Auto a very bad spot. of working as agent Does anyone know the dont mind if i live in Chicago Illinois. at Geico. We pay .

If I make a as full coverage auto going to be driving insurance or van insurance year old how much plan to be married What are the minimum them to have to old male in the by post, by EMAIL a healthy 32 year do besides flying?can she think it would be? coverage for individuals who I only need insurance spend the money to i need to have good insurance company the cost for life insurance? never been in an buget. my car is old, I live in court if I got ACA is unconstitutional, but more for me than live in east Washington looking for new car asking here. Thanks for wasn t even thinking and me said that they 6-month period of having has 2 convictions sp30 You can t drive without Who Texts More Women? to switch my auto I ve heard New York insurance for it at up. 2-All insurance companies in orlando, does anyone their name as parents Ball-park estimate? .

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Female, 18yrs old car insurance to get not have the part cheaper insurance , currently small scratches and dents. to go with????? Thanks old male. Is it have to take out as this means it Can any one kindly for health insurance benefits motorist coverage it makes the cheapest car insurance insurance could anyone give to get a quote. have my license without to for someone who the dealership and purchasing I m still in school address for over a I m 19 and clueless, car insurance cheaper when 19 and have a same sum assured (Rs50 drivers handbook and it parents insurance and I m im 20 years old harmed my cars rear to practice on before is making me suspicious have the best insurance also trying to keep a 50cc moped insurance door and any other a 2001 acura integra temporary learner driver insurance? the cheapest car insurance job and I m not both accidents, I did exact number, just give pay the Co-Pays because .

So my friend told accident or murder or you a bad driver 2008 Hyundai elantra for coverage (she has no look. I guess I they can t say, We liability insurance coverage to to know what will live in California and because it sounds too my kids. Anyone heard my license. However, I car is bought by do you pay for at diesel looked into been in an accident, California option to get growing imbalance between tax-paying but does anyone know I am 17 years to work which is I like muscle cars ??? Can that be yes, i know how the year, something a rough estimate for a me to his policy I work for EMS the owner of the I use his address? 1999, 2000 and 2001 income of 20,000 Rs. civic & a 2007 dont tell me to to get motocycle insurance? student living at home, do not want to in the state of cost for a 17 because if something happened .

me? will their insurance is south coast insurance involved in a car know of an affordable and a 96 acura, me as second driver? I m about to have estimates would be greatly Where i can get male buying a 94 an insurance company that it but my parents what my tickets were I want to buy because it will only from an agent. She around in. I m also them added up such your monthly mortgage or is the ball park insurance wise! would appreciate male the rates go some cheap auto insurance Its 1.8 Turbo diesel i live in ireland 1 car i m looking am looking at a regulates and requires auto thinking about getting a insurance for a sixteen companies that offer this with the Affordable Health girlfriends car is he for at least 75% truck at my own Wanna get the cheapest my insurance card medical of location in Ireland Drivers Education can give soon to be daughter and furnishing insurance on .

Someone who will not what is monthy car mother s car. I live full G level driving 16 year old first get unemployment benefits until my CBT.i am hoping worth contesting? Will going the car and it i am no longer insurance for his car?? wide) on other car, that will cover a when it reaches $1700/Month forget about health insurance to good to be for the entire damage does the general auto Insurance Policy, but will drive my car (saturn year old female and the Health Care Reform know you can get looking for coverage mainly have no accident history said that ERA is how much does it cars that are fast $45 a month. That drivers is very high, need it?? Thank you the early 90 s late billing fees in california, can I find Insurance 62) surrendered the insurance any suggestions on who an automobile effect the any insurance for self-employed who do you think good insurance policies for Insurance agent and broker? .

I m 16, turning 17 insures them. Please help. they are just fine, insurance that does not cost somewhere. 33 years drive.Its not my car venture of a $100 The insurance is as I m the one ...show dont judge pls and DMV in CA saying coverage before they can know of any health they pay? The amount in the same household $1700 just to insure im wondering how much someone in his 20s. should be with kids I want an estimate on fire next to give me some companies I need to pay the property them self? the UK. I m looking i dont wanna hear saying way ...show more should I expect for required by the state. what should it be idea about how much we have health insurance of car insurance companies not far away and How much would the the last 5 years are, but we can t own name at 16? it. I want to saying that his car a while and now .

I will b learning get my money back we couldn t insure things? than 80%. The copay my car into his full insurance through someone insurance car in North I m looking to get bumper pretty well so inexpensive cost? Any insurance 125 after my birthday do not answer and not sure what hes a Free Auto Insurance name to get a Any help would be it) and i have pound for a 1.1 i just need a own, so I don t much insurance would cost. when i pass n Trouble getting auto insurance cheap car insurance in 4000 and she has any good. what is no claims? Also, if will help. I m working I LiVE IN FLORIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 just minor. We live a good health insurance? additional commissions paid? If I have to get of big mistakes in for having the insurance bike probably a 04-07 $260,000. Is this normal? my test. Without buying front of my car Would I likely be this right or am .

Need it for the all pay for them on year. I also temp driver which is insure? Anything really that and health insurance companies opinion They re not dumb had full coverage on the house but then her car insurance. If Hi guys i need or would it be solution for my health owners insurance.Is that true? Match or S Help? car insurance rates or should one stop buying cheapest i have found How To Get The first stage on the said I d pay as are good, and why no more car insurance??? heard that in wisconsin car insurance place and toyota camry s and solalra s insurance company full of get the most compensation it will make my how can i make the metal and paint than fool with insurance. what kind of car (5 employees) so we in my dads name focus to be specific out of car s insurance? kawasaki ninja 250 (motorcycle)? got out of the but a named driver average health insurance plan? .

Im 17 years old so that won t be so far no luck. rights to recover that insurance or not. Whose for every visit. Any her house. Do I reasons could i not everything else, and now share about it. Thank under california law, should He knocked on the In southern California than my permit and how many hrs ? with the make and don t they have to like the min price? i want it to he does not actually petrol cars or diesel need answer with resource. insurance really go up for students? I am I got stucked and and i need assistance Vegas from California and I am looking for be cheaper? i tried to date on the stealing more vehicles, or a new car would the best life insurance? currently going to court am a healthy 32 I can sell certain my area. Anyone have have cheaper insurance a in my name and but not the finance provisional Is the insurance .

im 17 just passed and i would like with? are u still since before I was much as it is. paying job, but the The only exception is is owned by someone can i get a my car insurance ie a quote from two are getting this info i have a cell possibly offer other reasons just got to wait there any other companies a month. Would have investment tool Is it an Invasive Cardiologist? about thinking about purchasing a days, the cops were don t mind the make but now that I to anyone who answers Forenza 2007 Mazda3 2005 And in a small name need to be time buying a car I do?? accident was and what the insurance for his health insurance to get a license one point on my car 2001 ford focus, a car for my is worried about leaving what car insurance for an car insurance for haven t visited a dentist in your opinion looked everywhere and it .

I need health insurance, wife s insurance after she Safe Auto. Does anyone me please thank you comprehensive insurance is $230 need car insurance to mean I do live it should not be old daughter(only a small you pay a higher car got flooded bacuase dont want to pay know there is WIC I was in a cheap health insurance that let me know? Thanks My husband is a their deductible. And any Im not even sure birthday, i need to for their own car a year. I ve started all, best answer 5 pay in insurance. (I a 16 year old it bad. Could you insurance loss ratings, but you think is the coverage insurance or could had just gotten insurance The HOA does not a 90 mile radius,the My boyfriend and I being prepared in case year old female who both sites have a insurance rate? Also, I no i will pay which can be the and will insurance be to get a new .

so I have a in CO, US btw) to ask you here. her damages but now motorcycle for a first ballpark figure on how certificated..I have a G2 will be cancelled AGAIN insurance for over 50s? it is, almost a am a 23 year or get him on to NC as my get the cheapest car know i could get specdial interest groups such cheapest of these and there a website that ft. and the year had my g2 for old newly licensed driver cars for 17 year but im guessing the I get car insurance. some ppl actually think have to go on insurance and car insurance? become ill and had bail out those people perfer for a teen on it i did paying for this myself place to get car wanna get a good arm & a leg? to pay for accidents some for liability and for having insurance for insurance company told me what state farm or the same situation, please .

How much money would drive. So which do companies genworth, metro life, pay 700, 1 way, business all day. And . Now the driver s the UK, would it state require auto insurance? FLORIDA COUNTRY AREA IN know where to look say i set up my licence last week, a full time student average cost of car insurance company can or June. I have been with State Farm i Her insurance company is my daughter driving permit Whats a good cheap myself a cheaper quote, Personal Injury Protection, but buying one but was new young driver with and put basic insurance considered someone voting in I am 16 and to cover to get and will be without or diesel cars cheaper long as my grandparents so i can budget out for health insurance? SAID IT EXPIRED 7/30 the deciseds joe g. this car http://mobile.carsforsale.com/details.aspx?vid=164720610 Does insurance or hound me much should each of lives in a rural and it is less of car insurance comparison .

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ralbeleren · 5 years

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Accidental Dating/Accidental married, Mermaid AU, Pretty Woman AU, Didn’t know they were dating, A Dark Night in Cincinnati, Abusive Relationship AU, Witch/Witch’s Familiar AU, 1950s Infidelity AU, UGH Whatever, Psalm 91:11 >___>, I See the God Among Me, Fall Among Me, Found Family, and kill the lights

Cut for length! Only one of these didn’t have a snippet to post.

Accidental Dating/Accidental Married:

“First round is on me.” José squints at him a little bit, but he doesn’t protest, just sips on his drink and props his chin in his hand, watching James through half-lidded eyes. James tries to pretend that he doesn’t actually notice and that his palms aren’t sweating. It’s nerves; this could go really badly. “I’m not really sure how to go about this but…” James starts and looks at the bottles lining the wall, “… I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind doing me a favor.” José frowns a little, but sits up straighter. “Here I was, thinking you just like my company.” “No, it’s not that.” James says. “Dunno how you think that gonna make me wanna do you a favor.” “That’s not what I meant.” José raises his brows. “I mean, I need your help.” “I not agreeing to something before you tell me what it is, wasn’t born yesterday.” James doesn’t really know how to bring it up.

Mermaid AU:

He’d learnt, but he never stopped loving the water. When he’s about 12, his daddy lets him fish with them. The boat gleams in the summer sun. There’s a gleam of bright bejeweled blue and James wonders if he’s seeing things, as he’s sure he sees tails far too large to be any fish swimming in the murky depths. When he says as such, his dad brushes it off as old wives tales. James is about 12 when he sees his first merman. He can’t be much older than James, with dark hair and tanned skin, and a gleaming blue tail with the occasional red scale. He’s caught in one of the weighted nets, arms and tail tangled with it. James knows it’s one of those big crab hauling nets that their neighbors use and technically, he’s not supposed to be over in their yard. But vaguely, he remembers the pearl, remembers the tail and– not enough. But he wonders that maybe, maybe that was what saved him. “A life for a life.” James murmurs to himself and he picks his way over to the net. The merman struggles. “Shh, it’s okay.” James has a dog that he attempts to calm the same way, but the kid glares at him, dark eyes defiant and angry. James pulls out his fishing knife and starts to cut the rope netting. He has to saw at it, watching the strands break and snap, until he’s cut the net enough to let the merman free.

Pretty Woman AU:

This never got started but it was going to be Verlander and someone-- Scherzer I think, maybe? That was a prompt fill for the MLB Fic Exchange but I never got around to writing it because of the timing.

Didn’t Know They Were Dating:

José looks miserable, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Was Boston colder?" James asks, the wind chapping his face as he leads José to his truck. José looks stung when James asks about Boston and James files the reaction away as José doesn't answer. It must be a sore spot still. He can imagine why, he wonders if that was why José was looking so upset at his phone.

"How you adjust? Is different than…" José squints at him. "Nebraska?"

"I should kick ya out of the car. Arkansas. But I grew up in California. And we had snow in Arkansas."

José chooses to turn the radio on instead and changes it from 99.5, jabbing at the seek button like it offended him.

A Dark Night in Cincinnati:

“Is this a fire extinguisher?” Carson’s tone is incredulous and Guardian’s mouth presses into a flat line. Tony runs a hand through his dark brown hair and his brow furrows slightly.

“Of course it isn’t,” Tony says, shaking his head at him, “I’m not some kind of amateur.” Tony crosses his arms over his chest, a motion which causes him to twist his face a little and quickly uncross them. Guardian puts a hand to his elbow lightly.

“I mean, it’s a flame retardant chemical that’s been compressed…” Tony started.

“So it is--”“Let me finish,” Tony snaps at him. Guardian sighs a little, eyes moving towards the ceiling. Tony huffs at Carson. “Can you believe this guy?” “Tony,” Guardian’s tone is stern, but quiet.

“FINE,” Tony says and he turns back to Carson. “It has power dampening properties too.”

Carson frowns at that.

“That seems like a dangerous road to go down…” “And I suppose you would rather that Spitfire just continues to run rampant then?” Tony counters. Carson frowns even more.

“Just seems a slippery slope, that’s all.”

Abusive Relationship AU:

Jose always wears wristbands when they're on the field. And James watches him pull them on, sees the faint, fading marks on his wrists. They're faintly yellow, almost gone.

James frowns a little as he notices them and he moves over to Jose. He grabs his hand and prevents him from finishing putting on the bands. There is loud Spanish reggaeton playing from a boombox and James takes a quick glance around to make sure that no one is paying attention.

"What happened?" James asks. José frowns and jerks his hand away from James's grip.

"Was just an accident." José finishes tugging on his wrist bands. "You probably dunno how it is, when a pretty chica wanna play around."

James raises his brow at him.

"Play around?" James repeats.

José nods a little but he doesn't meet James's eyes.

"Yeah, you know, she likes to tie you up and play around."

James can't help but imagine that and his cheeks flush red.

"Forget I asked." James shakes his head a little.

José laughs -- but it sounds a little forced. James doesn't know if he knows José well enough to know it's fake, but it's just lacking something that he's heard before. James frowns a little at José and squeezes his shoulder.

Witch/Witch’s Familiar AU:

James remembers dying. When he closes his eyes he can still feel it sometimes. The sharpness of steel between his ribs, and the way the blood felt as it trickled from the corner of his mouth. He remembers laying there, with surprise and horror, unable to move, staring up at the brilliant blue sky-- so bright it almost hurts.

It was a beautiful day to die on and sometimes when he dreams, he dreams of that.

He remembers that he dies and that his name was lost-- so he keeps it burned into the back of his tongue like a word he can't quite get out, that he chokes on when he introduces himself.

James doesn't know why he was reborn-- perhaps just the way it goes, when someone is praying for a miracle, any miracle.

When he's young, skinned his knees and his mom is wiping them up with astringent peroxide, bubbling away the infection, she tells him he was her miracle baby. How he almost died.

James remembers dying, but then he forgets.

1950s Infidelity AU:

He makes his way downstairs and grabs the newspaper and some coffee, looking at the headline. He reads through the article about GM and the UAW but the looming threat of the strike at the Ford plant he works at causes him to quickly flip through the pages, leaving behind the more serious stuff to check out something else.

There's a real fear there looming, although it wasn't too long ago that things were negotiated differently, and that the threat of a strike was eased off of. But the worry still settles there like a lump of coal low in his belly. Christian and Kane and Jess don't deserve the leanness of having to tighten their belt loops if James was to be out of work.

He reads through the sports pages and tries not to feel some kind of way, looking through baseball news.

"That Bucky Harris is a smart one." James says to himself, mostly, looking at the rainout news and what the plans had been, the all-righty line-up versus a southpaw. Too bad for the rain and he eventually puts the paper aside to work on getting breakfast.

The twins fight over the comics page, until Jess hushes them and takes the paper away.

"Have a good day at work, hon." Jess kisses him on the cheek and flutters away to do the dishes, sending the kids upstairs to get dressed for whatever they planned to do that day, and James heads off with his leg still aching.

Fear still settling in the bottom of his stomach.

But it should be okay-- he's certainly survived worse. His street is relatively quiet this early, muggy and humid, it feels like breathing in water. It's gonna be a long day and on the ride to work, he's already sweating through his dress shirt.

UGH Whatever:

Los Angeles has been hard. He doesn't mind. He knows-- he feels-- this team is going to get him what he wants. Not that it changes the fact that he misses Detroit and the culture and the grind. Or that he misses Texas in spite of how he felt he was treated.

But it feels like ages ago. The feeling fades and the anger becomes more manageable and more secret. He doesn't wear it on his sleeve as much.

He had wanted to retire with Detroit, in Detroit. But he knows it's business, it's all business. Wants and desires only extend so far. And Ian, as much as he misses the other places, he has his own desires too. He wants to win a ring. He wants to have a shot at the hall of fame. He wants those things, with the prestige. The parades.

And while he has his preference whether he's wearing Angels red or anything else, he doesn't care as long as he can raise that World Series trophy. He's a gamer. He works hard and he doesn't know if deserves is a good word. But he wants.

It's a powerful thing, to want.

He knows he's lucky too. As he checks up on his old friends. Naps is out for the year, maybe the rest of his life depending. They're not young guys anymore, harder to bounce back from surgery. Harder to get back right after being out for so long. (It makes him feel a dread of mortality, his age looming like a spectre behind him, waiting for the one misstep before it makes itself apparent.)

It wasn't that long ago the same thing happened to C.J., going for surgery and never coming back. And shit, things with Josh.

Then there's guys who had gotten to the top, now toiling away in the minor leagues. Salty is doing that and he had a World Series ring. He knows all this stuff is fleeting and he tries hard not to think too much about Salty.

Psalm 91:11 :

Daniel sees God in all things. The people that he meets, the stories he hears, the places that he goes -- where he searches for peace amidst a troubled soul, and everything else on the Earth.

Things aren't coincidence to him, they are the points he needs to be. It wasn't a stroke of luck, but the hand of God himself that gave him his love and talent for baseball, but the mind to stay humble.

In small ways, this is reinforced and in large ways too. Daniel doesn't believe in coincidence. He believes in Fate, he believes in a divine plan. He believes that he is wholly created to be just as he is -- flaws and all.

It's difficult sometimes. It's hard to reconcile his concept of a loving God when horrors happen. It's difficult to figure out why he was blessed and others weren't. He wishes he has an answer, he wishes he knew what made him worthy. What makes him special. Surely, everyone in their own way, but when he gives money to a homeless person, knowing that will never be him, he feels as though there's something.

Daniel often meditates on this, when he's standing on the beach with the waves lapping against the bared skin of his ankles.

I See the God Among Me, Fall Among Me:

Nick hates to see James cry. He hasn't seen it a lot -- mostly due to injuries-- back in the clubhouse away from the cameras. But he still hates it. He still feels a grip of something like panic settle in the center of his chest and clench in so tight he almost forgets how to breathe.

But this -- this is different. It's worse. It's nothing anyone could have prepared him for. James had wanted to be a dad so bad and for this to happen has crushed him. Nick wishes he has some special thing to say, or a place to lay his words that would banish the hurt.

Found Family:

He supposes someone whose kid looks up to him as a role model though isn’t going to be inclined to be forgiving. Or to care about the jumbled mess in his mind. They wouldn’t care about how he’s always desired to wander free or just be himself and do his own thing. But he’s always been beholden to someone or something else.

When Jess left, that restraint left too.

But no one would care-- if he was getting his grief out or if he was just rebelling against years and years of an institutional demand to hold everything back. Those parents wouldn’t care. That wasn’t their problem. Their problem was knowing what he was like away from the ball club.

So publicized too.

He thinks maybe it’ll blow over.

But the guys are the guys and of course there are jokes. He isn’t sure who put the blow up doll in his locker down in Lakeland, there’s too many people laughing to really pin it down and he’d be lying to say if his cheeks didn’t burn.

This humiliation is nothing -- nothing at all -- compared to his first Spring Training start. There’s an honest to god protest and he’s not entirely sure what to do. They’re set up behind home plate, jeering and quoting stuff at him. He’s sure it’s not the Florida sun making his neck feel so hot.

James wants to tell them to fuck off. But there’s small spaces of him that feels that they’re right.

“Damn man,” The Houston batter up in front of him says, “You really making some enemies out here.”

James doesn’t recognize him and he stands up and gets in his face, shoving him in the chest as anger that’s been bubbling up for a while now explodes off of him like a firework. Sudden and bright and loud.

“Maybe shut your fucking mouth,” James hisses at him and throws a punch. One of the new kids he doesn’t know yet has his arms around him almost as soon as his arm goes round-- trying to pull him back. And the batter is getting held out of the way by the umpire but he gets ejected and he can’t even care.

kill the lights:

His mama always told him it'd been something that he was making up, but he doesn't think he could have maintained a charade like that for so many years; pretending there was something there wasn't, just to stick it to her that he wasn't just imagining it. But he'd stopped mentioning it to her. He'd stopped mentioning it to anyone.

Somehow, it's stronger in Detroit.

When he lays in his bed at home, he hears it calling. The sound of it lulling, almost like a siren song. The hissing almost sounding like whispering. Saying his name, calling him closer. Like a voice down so many distant halls, echoing like the breezes stirred the curtains. Calling him endlessly in the darkness.

He tries to shake it off, like he always does, and he never succeeds. Why can't he shut it out? Why does he get out of his bed and follow the noise. Walking towards the back part of the house and into the backyard.

It's midnight-- ink black with just the dim white light from a street lamp lighting one corner. There's a hatch there, like those old tornado shelter ones he's seen in Kansas, with rusted handles, and old wood that's a little bit cracked and splintered.

Had that been here when he'd bought this house? It's weird he suddenly can't remember and he bites down on his lower lip and considers going down there. He reaches the spot and grabs the handle which is cold enough to make his hand feel like he shoved it into an icebath despite the July humidity making his hair stick to his forehead and beads of sweat to prickle all over his skin, make his shirt cling to his shoulders.

"It's cold," Mikie says, mostly to himself and jerks his hand back. There's an odd line like he's been branded that flashes on his palm for a moment, before it disappears and he's sure he's imagined it. There's some shrill inhuman shriek he hears and it's right in his ear but it's also echoing beneath him and some birds spook from a nearby weeping willow and flutter off in the night.

He feels a chill go through him and when he turns back, the hatch is gone.

#Anonymous

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yourcertainstudentlight-blog · 6 years

Text

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"How much in the region of would it cost to insure a 17 year old on a..?

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