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maxxxineminxxx · 7 months

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I wanna be more || eddie munson

Part two : https://www.tumblr.com/maxxxineminxxx/731064587980521472/i-wanna-be-more-part-2-eddie-munson

warnings : jealousy, angst, fluff and cursing.

paring: y/n x Eddie Munson

summary: Y/n tells Eddie she wants to join the cheer squad he has a bad reaction at first but then he calms down. y/n thinks everything is fine until she sees her replacement standing at eddies locker. they look close?

a/n : I'm thinking about uploading a part two but i kind of hate this lmao.

In the halls of school, you tuned out the chatter of passing faces, finding solace within your close circle of friends, Hellfire. They were your everything, your unbreakable bond. Yet, starting senior year, you’ve felt like you need more experiences and friends. This is why you have chosen to join the cheerleading team. Since forever you’ve wanted to be a cheerleader, to rally for your team at sports events, and soak in the electrifying atmosphere. This final year of high school arrives and your determined to make the most out of every moment. Your just not sure how well Eddie is going to react once you tell him.

The noisy cafeteria buzzes with activity as you find a seat. The clatter of trays, the hum of conversation, and the occasional burst of laughter create a lively atmosphere. You settle into your seat at the lunch table, greeted by the familiar faces of your friends. The conversation flows around you, but your mind is preoccupied with the weight of the news you need to share with Eddie. You take a deep breath, trying to find the right moment. As you engage in the conversation you steal glances at Eddie, searching for the right opening. Finally, as the conversation dips into a lull, you catch Eddie's eye and motion for him to join you for a moment. Taking another deep breath, you prepare to share the news with him, hoping for understanding and support.

“WHAT?’’ Eddie screams across the cafeteria. Yeah, you figured he wasn't going to take this well.

“I want to try out new things Eds” you explain to him with pleading eyes hoping he understands.

You've observed Eddie's feelings towards the cheerleaders, and it's clear he's had negative experiences with them in the past. However, there's a glimmer of hope in Chrissy, who stands out as a kind and considerate person. You hold onto this as you approach Eddie. To explain that they are not all bad.

“I know what you're thinking, you're thinking I'm going to turn into one of them. I promise you I won't ever be like that besides look at Chrissy. She hangs out with them daily and she's as sweet as can be.” He lets out a big sigh and gives you a stern look.

“You are still coming to hellfire, and you have to promise you won't ever miss a meeting or campaign.” He says whilst embracing you into a tight hug. “I’ll come support you at try-outs, I'll even bring a sign.” he laughs and places his hands onto your cheeks. Looking into your eyes adoringly

“It's going to say, go y/n you're a superstar!” he teases, squishing your cheeks together making your lips look like a fish, whilst laughing loudly. You push his hands away and try to run away from him.

“Please god no, you can watch but no signs, cheering or whistling.”

“Whistling?” he says acting confused.

“I know you Eddie Munson and I don't want a peep coming out of that mouth”.

He gestures a zipped mouth. As you resume your seat at the table, the conversation shifts gears towards brainstorming new campaign ideas. The atmosphere becomes more focused and animated, with everyone eager to contribute their thoughts.

The nervous energy in the gymnasium is loud as you enter. However, seeing Eddie's smiling face in the crowd offers a reassuring boost of confidence. His presence is a source of comfort, and you know that he's there to support you.

To your surprise, the girls on the team welcome you warmly. They shower you with compliments on your appearance, instantly putting you at ease. Their kindness and willingness to help with the choreography made me feel welcomed. It’s a pleasant surprise to encounter such a supportive and friendly group.

As you begin to practice and interact with the team, you realize that this experience might be more enjoyable and fulfilling than you initially thought. The positive atmosphere and warm reception from everyone make you feel like your part of a team that genuinely cares about one another. This realization boosts your confidence and eases any remaining nerves.

You got accepted to be on the team and you ran straight to eddie.

“Guess who's a cheerleader now?” you said , buzzing with excitement.

Eddie's excitement is contagious, and without a moment's hesitation, he pulls you into a tight embrace. You can feel his genuine happiness radiating through the hug, and it's as if the world spins around you both. Laughter bubbles up from both of you, filling the gymnasium with a light and joyous energy. He whispered a million congratulations in your ear. As we pulled away from the hug He looked like he had something on his mind. Something important to tell you but he quickly shook the expression off and went back to congratulating you.

“We should celebrate over milkshakes, my treat okay?” he said, brushing a piece of your hair behind your ear. You looked up at him with a smile, the kind of smile you made whenever you were about to cause trouble. ”Race you to the car” you said, running out of the gymnasium and sprinting to the car. Suddenly, you feel strong hands on your waist, and before you know it, you're lifted off the ground. You let out a surprised laugh, feeling weightless for a moment. It's Eddie, his laughter mixing with yours as he playfully swings you around. “Gotcha” he whispers in your ear. He opens the passenger door and gestures for you to get in with a bow.

We arrived at benny's burger bar and ordered two chocolate milkshakes

“Carol, you know the one with the short blonde hair, well she invited me to a party to celebrate me joining the team i'm not sure if i'll even go it'll probably just be a bunch of jocks making out ” you rambled on while sipping on your milkshake, he let out a loud laugh causing everyone in the diner to look at us. After he composed himself he finally spoke.

“Maybe go for an hour then see how you feel and if you're not having fun or something happens call me okay. please?” he grabbed your hand from across the table giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I will, I promise.” You stayed silent for a moment

‘’You know you could always come with me” “nope” “eddie come on please” “not happening sweetheart” you crossed your arms and gave him a defeated look with a pout

you could tell he was trying to hold in his laughter.

The evening continues in a warm and comfortable manner. Eddie pays for the milkshakes, a gesture that makes you grateful. As you leave the diner, you walk hand in hand, a familiar and affectionate gesture between you two. It's not the first time that people have mistaken you for a couple, but you're both used to it by now. Eddie would always brush it off when someone would ask if the two of you were together but you couldn't help but want him to say yes. You wanted him to want you as something more than just his best friend.

The drive back is filled with easy conversation and shared laughter. Eddie drops you off at your house just in time for your curfew, a small but thoughtful detail that shows how much he cares. Eddie's thoughtfulness has always been a defining trait in your friendship. It's those extra gestures, like paying for milkshakes or making sure you get home on time, that make him stand out. It's not just about the big moments, but also the small, thoughtful gestures that make you feel valued and cherished in your friendship with Eddie. Like when you were young and he would paint your right hand nails with polish because you were still figuring out how to paint with your left hand. So he would try to do it for you, he would always give you the last slice of pizza even if you were full and the way he always made sure you were okay.

The street lights cast a soft, golden glow on the pavement, creating a serene atmosphere. You stand on the doorstep, reluctant to say goodbye after such a wonderful evening. As you bid Eddie goodnight, you're filled with a sense of contentment and gratitude for the special friendship you share. Waving and blowing kisses at him as he drives away.

At times, you found yourself wondering whether Eddie shared the same sentiments you had towards your relationship. You yearned for him to perceive you as something beyond just a friend.

Because every time you pictured yourself with anyone it was always him.

you had not seen Eddie all weekend, normally he would call or come over but not this weekend apparently. You went over to his trailer on Sunday but nobody was home, he normally went out of town with his uncle a couple times of the year so you assumed it was just that.

Entering the school halls, a subtle shift came over you. Adorned in your cheerleading attire to match the other girls, with your hair elegantly curled, you became a beacon of attention. It was as if every gaze was directed towards you, but in a most positive and affirming manner. You walked towards hellfire to say hi, but you were dragged away by carol who started introducing you to the cheerleaders.

“So are you coming to the party tonight? If you are, come to mine before we are all going to get ready together.” she said whilst reapplying her lip gloss.

“Okay yeah I will” you replied buzzing with excitement. She smiled and complimented your hair. You felt overjoyed at this new attention you were getting.

Turning towards Eddie's locker you saw a girl standing beside him she had a hellfire shirt on, loads of piercings and raven black hair. Eddie hand his hand on her waist and was smiling brightly at her. All of the hellfire members were staring at her as if she hung the moon.

You felt a wave of hurt rush over yourself. Carol turned to you and followed your gaze. Along with Olivia and Layla who were very close with carol and were also on the team.

“that’s the new girl Olivia was talking about I think her name is Roxanne or something. Apparently she’s a total loser, Wouldn’t be surprised.” Carol said with a laugh.

"apparently they have been seen hanging out all weekend" Layla said as she looked at the pair with disgust

“I heard she’s joining hellfire, which is like the worst thing you could ever do no offense y/n” Olivia said whilst fixing her hair. “Your pretty so you can get away with the whole nerdy thing” she slammed her locker shut.

“Yeah, some of us aren’t that lucky” carol said staring at Roxanne with a smirk.

As the bell echoed through the halls, you said bye to the girls and quickly rushed off to the bathroom. Fixing your hair and reapplying your lip-gloss. You stared at yourself in the bathroom mirror replaying the scene you had just seen. Why was he looking at her like that. Shes why he didnt call.

You hadn't really seen Eddie all day except once at lunch. He was avoiding you and you knew that because every time you would walk up to him to say hi he would bolt the other way. He was sitting with hellfire at their lunch table, all of them laughing together. your heart swelled with relief as you caught sight of him. There he stood, a beacon of happiness, his face lit up with a radiant smile that seemed to chase away any lingering doubts or worries. It was as if his joy was contagious, enveloping the space around us with a warm and inviting glow. He was talking to Gareth and throwing his head back with laughter, but as you walked over to the table, you noticed her sitting next to him. In your spot. So, you did what any mature teenage girl would do. And instead of confronting her.

you walked straight past the table and headed over to the jocks table. Deciding to sit with them instead because when the cheerleaders saw you walk towards their table their smiles grew and they made space for you to sit with them. You felt wanted and included here. you looked over at Eddie and to your surprise he was already looking at you. Your smile faded once you saw his expression. He looked hurt. You saw Roxanne holding onto eddies arm and you looked away.

Were they dating? No way its been like 3 days. Maybe they have known eachother for longer? where did they even meet? why did he like her? You were so lost in your thoughts you didn’t notice Chrissy talking to you.

“y/n are you even listening right now” Layla another cheerleader said with a pout as she stared at you waiting for you to reply. “Yeah, sorry what were you guys saying?”

“Does my hair look flat” they all said in union. You shook your head fighting the urge to laugh.

Turning your gaze back to Eddie, you observed him and Roxanne sharing a moment of genuine happiness. Their laughter danced through the air, painting the scene with vibrant hues of joy. You watched as he tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and winked at her. you needed to get over this crush now.

but you missed the way that when you looked away from Eddie his gaze and attention was all on you.

#eddie munson x reader #eddie munson #eddie munson drabble #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson oneshot #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson angst #eddie x you #eddie x fem!reader #stranger things s4 #stranger things #stranger things 4

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circeyoru · 2 months

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Agajajkalobesbsj love the 2 part for unwanted soul but will we have part 3 for it ? Like meeting the other guys and them reactions when they found the reader is Alastor soul owner ?

Haha. Good question. There could be a part 3 about meeting the others. But I doubt they'll be learning that Reader has Alastor's soul. Despite everything, the canon stuff did all happen, namely Alastor threatening Husk when he said Alastor was also on a leash.

Here's the kicker. Alastor saw the word 'leash' as an insult to his love and devotion for Reader, hence why he's mad and snapped at Husk. What 'you don't know/understand anything about me' type of play here.

Another point is Alastor might see the fact as his soul not being his to own as a weakness to you, like he's not strong enough when we all know he is. It's others' reaction that he doesn't like. An example is someone reacting negatively to Alastor's soul not being his or like how Husk phases it as 'leash' just doesn't have a nice ring to it.

So that's why Alastor wouldn't let others know. Plus it's a secret only for the two of you, yeah?

Now for Reader. Reader definitely wouldn't announce to people that they have an Overlord's soul to push around, especially when that Overlord is Alastor. Even more so when Alastor is that possessive and obsessive toward Reader. Red flags as far as the eye can see. This Reader, Page Demon, loves simplistic and telling people about owning Alastor's soul is just an invitation to trouble from all directions. Reader here collects knowledge and information, so Reader is also well aware of what this information can bring.

Briefly, here's your scenes in the pilot and Season 1:

Pilot: You watched the advertisement of Charlie's hotel and send Alastor over to the hotel. (behind the scenes: Alastor settled in and contacted you via the radio and you two chatted for a while) Episode 1: (near the end) You saw the news that the exterminations are happening again in 6 months and questioned Alastor what happened, to which he told you it happened after Charlie went to the meeting in place of Lucifer Episode 2: You contacted Lucifer and asked if he knew about the exterminations, he had no idea. When you returned home, the radio and TV was playing Alastor and Vox's little spat. Afterwards, Alastor contacted you to brag and you listened while reading Episode 3: Alastor told you Carmilla's secret that she killed an angel. You allowed Alastor to see you this one time as a form of 'reward' Episode 4: Alastor comes over and you two enjoy your time together. While you also try to figure out how angels can be killed Episode 5: Lucifer comes over to complain to you about Alastor and Charlie's over-reliance on Alastor, but he leaves just as Alastor starts to contact you through the radio. Alastor gets pissy about Husk using the word 'leash' to describe his relationship with you while you said there's nothing going on. Alastor whines even more that you can't watch your newest show Episode 6: Alastor tells you the extermination will target the hotel first and asks what you want to do. Your order's the same: keep the hotel up and running, aid in the princess' wishes Episode 7: Rosie nearly reveals you to Charlie but shut up about it when Alastor shook his head before Charlie can see. (behind the scenes: Rosie asks about you and Alastor happily says that he's working on the romantic relationship, Rosie gives more advice) Episode 8: You basically showed up to show the battle take place, but ended up joinning. Read part 2

Note: I think that's all. Any questions?

{Unwanted Soul} = Requested

[Yandere!Alastor x Owner of his Soul!Reader] Part 1 — Poll — Part 2

Masterlist

#Circe's Nighty Writings #Circe's requested writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

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darlingdekarios · 9 months

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look upon me.

rating: explicit. 18+ only. length: 7,381 content: Jonathan Ohnn / The Spot x f!reader, pre and post-incident Jonathan / Spot, reader is described as being shorter than the Spot but everyone is, established relationship, fluff, smut [fingering - receiving, oral - receiving, unprotected p in v], kink(s) [hair pulling, biting, scratching, orgasm control], hurt/comfort, brief obsessive/possessive behavior, this was not edited because I'm lazy

of the things he’d lost that day, there was one in particular that weighed on Jonathan's mind like a bad conscience.

"Stop looking at me like that."

You hadn't changed your gaze to look at him, still locked-in on the meticulously organized papers in front of you as you scanned for the patterns and knowledge you needed. From across the table he was slumped forward, his chin resting on his hands as he did exactly that - look at you. It was so often that he needed to do little more than that to pass the time.

"Like what, baby?"

You couldn't help but smile at the false innocence in his voice. He knew what he was doing, he didn't care.

"Like you're just waiting for me to stop," you replied, eyes still locked on the scratches of ink beneath you. "I'm doing important stuff here."

"I'm trying to do important stuff to you."

The kind of embarrassing laugh that was accompanied by a snort left you, your head shaking slightly as you continued your steadfast refusal not to look at him, unwilling to have your concentration broken completely.

"Jonny, seriously," you were trying your best to sound serious and stern, but the smile on your face didn't quite match it. "I'm trying to make sure no one blows up in this deathtrap you're building at work, and your notes are nonsense."

"My notes are perfectly -"

"In the middle of this sentence you just wrote 'banana'," you pointed out, sliding the paper in question across the table and pointing to the word. "Do you know why you did that?"

"Because I needed them from the store."

You laughed again, the sound he was convinced was the most beautiful in the world, your eyes finally raising to return his gaze. When you made eye contact with him it sucked a deep breath from him - he was always struck by you, even after years of knowing you. He'd accepted long ago it would be this way until he died.

You looked annoyed, yet at the same time so profoundly in love he couldn't believe you were looking at him. You laughed again and he took your distraction as his cue to reach across the table, one of his hands laying atop yours gently.

"You're absurd," you stated, punctuating your words with a nod. Your hand flipped beneath his, threading your fingers together as your thumb brushed over his knuckles - the ones you could reach, anyway. "You either make complete sense or you don't make any at all. Black or white."

Sometimes you talked about him like another subject you wanted to figure out. If it meant you'd stay around until you did so, he was content to continue coming up with ways to puzzle you.

"But you chose me, Atom," he replied, reminding you of something that needed no reminder. Your cheeks burned under his special name for you, eyes locking on his as any annoyance left your body. He knew exactly how to melt away any negativity from you.

"Why do you call me that?" you questioned, head tilting slightly to the side in an adorable fashion that always made him love you just a bit more than he had a moment ago. So many things you did caused the reaction from him, and he was happy to continue to add to the list. "Anytime I ask you just smile. I want to know."

Something in the look in your eye and a feeling that now was when he should give you the answer you wanted had the words spilling out of his mouth. Compared to how long you'd waited it was rather unceremonious, but so many things between the two of you had always been as such. Neither of you were incredibly concerned with things being made into a big deal, and now was no different.

You already knew how much he loved you.

"Atoms make up everything," he explained, his hand squeezing yours lightly as he spoke. "You're my everything."

Your eyes softened further as you took in his words, your heart tightening just as his hand had around yours. With a smile you shook your head again, using your other hand to mark your place on the page you'd abandoned.

"How am I supposed to keep reading through this when you say things like that?"

"I could've been the next Shakespeare if I didn't love science so much."

"Did you even take theatre at any point? Or creative writing?"

"No, I took anatomy instead," that cheekiness was returning to his tone, the need heavy in his tone. You raised an eyebrow at his words, already expecting something along the lines of what would come next. "Wanna see what I learned?"

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, a grin that you loved more than anything in the world spreading across his face as he leaned forward in his seat, waiting for permission to come closer, waiting for you to give in. You couldn't help it when you looked deep into his eyes, seeing how badly he needed you…you had to give him something.

As you nodded he immediately grabbed your chair to move it closer, only for you to reach out and grab the table, clicking your tongue against your teeth.

"Well, I still have to finish reading, don't I?"

"But…"

"Aw, don't pout, Doctor," you cooed, turning your head and leaning to kiss his cheek softly. "I'm sure you can find a way to prove how hard you studied while I finish up."

Yeah, he could.

The security deposit the two of you had put on this apartment was forgotten as he yanked his chair across the wooden floor, settling it right next to yours. As he got comfortable you began your work again, the switch of your own activated - when it was time to focus, you could always be relied upon to do so.

Even when one of his large hands slid across your chest, cupping one of your breasts tenderly. The first touch from him was always cautious and respectful, waiting for you to say a single word of disagreement. You nodded, eyes briefly flickering to his before you focused back in one your task.

Thankful for the oversized v-neck sweater you'd worn today he slid a hand into the soft fabric, mentally thanking you for having removed your bra already when you got home. The soft flesh of your breast felt perfect in his hand as he massaged it tenderly before his attention quickly turned.

His thumb brushed over your nipple gently before circling the sensitive bud, his eyes still focused on your face and searching for any sort of reaction. Even when he pinched not a single sound left you, your face unchanging as you read his words.

And while he wanted to let you focus, he couldn't stand to not hear you at least moan for him.

He abandoned his hold on your breast to hike the knee length skirt you were wearing up around your waist, gently pushing your panties to the side - still somewhat waiting for you to stop him. You didn't, convinced you could outlast him in this little game the two of you were now playing, but honestly not really caring if you lost.

You almost lost completely when he leaned down, his tongue circling your nipple as his index finger circled your clit. You slipped - it was understandable - and a soft moan filled the room, your eyes momentarily falling closed as he sucked your nipple gently before looking back up into your face.

"Well finally," he dragged the final letter out as he pushed his middle finger into you, running his tongue over the same nipple again. "You're so wet already."

"I like reading your work," you confessed in a broken voice, allowing yourself a brief moment to forget your focus. You felt his mouth fall open in shock and the groan that he let out at your words.

"Oh."

He kept his mouth busy, as he often liked to do when you were alone together in various ways, but where he chose to focus his attention on proving his anatomy skills was with his hand. As he pumped his longest finger into you he stroked your walls lovingly, pushing against the spongy spot behind your clit carefully and with the perfect amount of pressure each time.

When he pushed his index finger inside you as well, with ease considering how wet you were now and with a downright pornographic sound he couldn't help but moan as he suckled on your breast.

You were trying to focus still - a remarkable feat, mind you, considering how good his fingers felt pumping into you at this speed and with this amount of care - but one of your hands came up to hold the back of his head, fingers pulling at the messy strands of his hair.

"Jonny…"

Your moan immediately had his attention, his mouth abandoning you so he could flash you a cheeky grin, his cheeks deep red in color and pupils blown wide as he took in your face again.

"Oh, now you want attention?"

You blew a deep breath out of your nose, giving his hair a gentle tug as you met a pump of his fingers with a grind of your hips.

"I only have one more page to make sense of…"

"But…"

"You can wait five minutes…"

"I can't," he whined, his voice ridiculous in this tone but earnest - he really couldn't wait for you much longer before he got excessively needy, but you loved pushing him to the edge sometimes. "I swear to…whatever the hell scientists swear to I can't, my tongue needs to be in you now or I swear…"

You pushed his head upward to claim his lips in a heavy kiss, a heavy groan from him falling against your mouth as you licked across his bottom lip before whispering lightly.

"If you're a good boy and let me finish I'll let you cum in me tonight."

If he wasn't so excited about the promise you'd made he would have been embarrassed by the high pitched moan that he allowed to rip through his chest, instead he could only sit spellbound as you sank your teeth into his bottom lip lightly, pulling back slightly before pulling away entirely. You licked your lips slowly, eyes holding his gaze for a moment before you continued.

"But only if you let me finish, Jonny," you warned, turning your attention back to the documents on the table and releasing your hold on his hair. "D'you think you can manage that?"

"Yes," he promised with a huff, rolling his eyes at the fact he had to wait…he understood your fears about his job but at the moment would insist there were other things that deserved attention. He tentatively pumped his fingers back into you, not even risking a glance at your face now. "But…to clarify, I still want my head between your thighs first."

"Jonny," you warned again, flashing him one last serious look with your eyes, though a light smile played on your lips. He removed his fingers from you with another huff, lifting his hand to wrap his lips around them with an appreciative groan.

Aware of your attention on him again and your mouth falling open he grinned as he released his fingers with a pop, shrugging his shoulders unceremoniously.

"Sorry," it was the fakest use of the word he'd ever used, you were aware of that. "Just speaking my truth."

But he was capable - hell, he had a PhD, he could be patient if he really needed to be…no matter how badly he didn't want to be. No matter how hard his dick was throbbing against the black sweatpants he had chosen to wear around the apartment.

He waited until you started putting the papers back in a neat stack, instead choosing to stand quickly, grabbing you by the waist and leaning down to claim your lips in a hungry, somewhat messy kiss. Thankful you returned his kiss and chose calculated movements to encourage it into something more precise, he focused on turning the two of you until the backs of your thighs were hitting the edge of the table.

"Now," he whined out in a heavy breath. "Need you now. Please, now."

He was begging against your lips as he worked the zipper and button open on your skirt, pushing both it and your panties to the ground and kicking the fabric out of the way in hopeful anticipation. You could feel his hard cock pressed between the two of you and knew he had done the best he could in waiting, but that didn't affect how you loved to tease him still.

"You're ravenous tonight," you pointed out in what could be described as little more than a purr, nipping at his bottom lip again to pull another moan from his chest. He returned the favor before he stood straight - well, straight for him - encouraging you to lay back against the table.

"I'm about to show you how much."

He found his own seat in the chair you had been in and leaned forward as his hands slid to grasp your knees, encouraging your legs apart and baring your dripping sex to him. One of his hands trailed upward and he watched in awe as his fingers glided up and down her soaked folds, back and forth, spreading the slick he had already earned.

He continued this motion, adding in gentle rubs to your clit, as he kissed up your inner thigh, enjoying the soft feeling of your skin against his lips as you moaned at the familiar scratch of his beard.

"Jonny…please…"

"Oh, now who's needy?"

But he didn't tease like you, he wasn't able when it came to you, and it wasn't like he could wait any longer. Before you could blink again he had leaned forward, parting your folds with his tongue as he ran the thick muscle through them, well intent on tasting every inch of you again like it was the first time.

"Oh, you're indescribable," he grumbled against you after he'd flicked his tongue against your clit, glowing as your fingers found their way into his hair again, holding him close. Any complaints you'd ever made about his smart mouth were always forgotten when his tongue was worshipping you.

"Feels so good, Jonny," you moaned breathlessly, pulling his hair to encourage him back to what he had been begging for.

With a deep groan he continued, alternating between sucking on your clit and running his tongue between your folds, filling the apartment with lewd sounds as he slurped at your soaked pussy, ensuring every inch received his attention. He began to fuck his tongue into you, his nose pushing against your clit as he devoured you exactly how you wanted.

And that's how he got his first reward, your walls fluttering around his tongue as you came around him, your vision clouded as your orgasm rushed through you. As you moaned his name and your shaking thighs came closer around his head he didn't stop, instead continuing to lick at your sex like he was already setting out to pull another from you.

Your whines and whimpers of overstimulation filled the room, pulling at his hair as you fought to catch your breath and wiggle. He took the silent instruction and removed his mouth from your core, instead kissing along the thigh that hadn't received any earlier. He couldn't resist in full, though, his index finger slipping through your folds and into your still quivering sex.

"So wet," he cooed, just before he sucked a purple hickey to the inside of your thigh. "My dick's gonna slip right in."

"Please," you whined again, fully aware that now the tables had turned and you were the desperate one. You knew what Jonathan fucked like on nights where he was feeling like this and you were eager to feel him stretch you again, but through your orgasm's lingering haze you weren't sure how constructed of a sentence you could muster.

"Aw, baby, that's so cute," you could hear the smile in his voice and against your skin as he continued to kiss wherever he could reach, his lips now pressing to the hips he loved to grab so much. "Beg a little more for me?"

To be clear, he was asking - not telling.

"Jonathan," you whined, releasing your hold on his hair to instead reach for his shoulders, hoping to encourage him to finish his climb back up your body. You weren't thinking clearly, it was obvious - you may have thought the two of you were in bed but you weren't, and there was no way this old wooden table would support what he was about to do to you. "Please. Oh fuck please just…please. I need you."

"What d'you need?"

Okay, so maybe he could tease a little…he so rarely felt like he had any power in this world and these moments where he had you, the most beautiful woman in the world, at his fingertips were irresistible.

"Want you to fuck me," you whined, heart bursting as he finally gave into you and reached to press his lips to yours in a gentle kiss. His finger was lazily pumping into you still, holding you on the brink of overstimulation - he truly did know exactly what to do to your body.

"You want me to fuck you?" he questioned, a falsely puzzled tone behind his voice. "Or you need me to fuck you?"

"Semantics."

"Say it."

His voice snapped slightly lower, just enough in the way it did when he was trying to communicate his seriousness - something he honestly rarely did with you. He would never yell at you, but that didn't mean he couldn't let you know the gravity behind his words in other ways. He needed you to say it - exactly it, and to accentuate his point, he removed his finger from you altogether.

"I need you to fuck me, Jonny," you begged against his lips, turning slightly to press lazy kisses to the corner of his mouth until you reached lower, kissing his neck in the spot you knew would melt away this dark streak.

He stood up immediately, shoving his sweatpants and boxers down to the floor and kicking them to join your skirt, fisting his cock and rubbing it through your folds to gather the mixture of cum and his spit that lingered between them.

"Don't tease," you whined again, eyes meeting his in a hope to convey your desperation. His other hand reached to cup your cheek, his thumb brushing across the bone before it trailed to your bottom lip, repeating the gentle motion as he quietly shushed you.

He started slipping his painfully hard, leaking cock inch by inch into you, trying to take his time and savor the feeling of each push, but by the time he had sheathed his cock fully in you there was something already unmistakably unhinged about his movements, his hand that had been between your thighs grasping your hip tight.

"Fuck…fuck…" he groaned as he tried to force himself to still for a moment, instead finding he couldn't help but pull completely out and thrust back in roughly, his fingers holding you hard enough to bruise - which honestly, you hadn't been aware he was strong enough to do so until now, and this was far from the first time the two of you had fucked.

"Jonny, o-oh my…"

"Fuck," he groaned out as he continued to thrust into you desperately, his movements hard and a little sloppy as he tried to find a pace he liked. When he finally settled on one he leaned forward to kiss you again, pounding into you with your bodies pressed so close together you could hear obscene sound of his balls slapping against you. "You're so perfect. You're so so so perfect."

You kissed him until you were breathless, repeated moans covering his lips as he continued with the perfect pace to match how feral he felt for you now - quick and hard, almost bruising, desperate to coax you toward another orgasm and earn his own.

You dragged your nails down his back - you might had even drawn a couple of specks of blood with how rough you accidentally slipped into - kissing back down to his mouth as you fought for a desperate breath through moans and mewls. You made a mark of your own on his neck, a spot he would wear with pride for the days it would last on his skin.

"I want you to cum again for me," he managed out between heavy breaths, one of his hands sliding to hold the back of your head gently. "Before….before I…"

"Before you fill me up," you finished for him, your tone breathy and lascivious before you ran your tongue over the hickey you'd just given him.

He moaned - whether it was at your words or tongue didn't matter - and grabbed your hip harder, his pace faltering again into something much for harder and carnal as his mind was overtaken by the idea of spilling his hot load into you.

"Gonna…gonna fill you…" he began muttering promises through breaths and thrusts, any semblance of normal speech pattern forgotten. "So fucking full."

"Please."

"Yeah, baby," he promised, managing to fight through the primal thoughts in his mind to carry out another delicate action, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "Know you love it. Go ahead and milk it out of me."

His hold on your head remained as he released your hip, slipping his hand between your bodies instead to rub your clit with purpose, fully intent on not allowing himself release until he felt you spasm around his cock.

With the loudest moan of his name he'd perhaps ever earned you threw your head back, thankful his hand was there to protect it from the hardwood as your vision turned white, the temperature in the room seemingly one-thousand degrees as you clasped your legs around his waist, holding him closer.

His thrusts continued to get sloppier, and when he felt your orgasm approaching a more manageable end, he opted to ask before finding his own release.

"Can I…can I…"

"You owe me two minutes that you interrupted…when I was trying to clean…"

"Baby, no," he begged, his head shaking as he pressed gentle kisses to your cheeks and forehead and nose, hoping his sweet affection would earn him favor. "Oh, please, no…"

"Not yet."

It was a wonder that he could continue fucking you like this with how hard he was, the discomfort and need to cum evident by his begging and whining. When you finally gave him the permission he was seeking his orgasm was immediate - thick, hot ropes of his cum filling you so much it didn't take long for the thick liquid to start leaking out around his cock.

You were both overly sensitive, but that had never stopped him before and it certainly wouldn't now as he continued to drag his half-hard cock through your painted walls, content on doing so until you were a mess, pleading with him that you'd had enough and it was too much.

He listened, removing his cock from your freshly fucked sex and sitting in the chair that waited beneath him, eyes fixated on your leaking cunt. He couldn't resist - three fingers gathered the mixture of fluids that was flowing from your pussy and he pushed it back in with little consideration toward your overstimulation.

You shot up with a gasp, sitting upright just as he removed his fingers again, wasting no time and unwilling to hear complaints as he dove back between your thighs, messily licking and slurping at your hole until he felt enough of your combined releases were on his tongue. He leaned back up, one of his hands coming to the back of your head to pull you down to meet him in a heavy kiss, passing you the thick liquid he held on his tongue and continuing to lick at your mouth as it slid down your throat.

When he broke the kiss for breath his eyes were full of so much love you thought he might break your shared "no marriage" rule and propose.

"I fucking love you," he finally breathed out, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you into his lap gently to continue the shared moment of pure bliss.

"I love you, Jonny," you promised in return, nuzzling your head against his shoulder as you curled against him. "In every universe."

There was no way for you to know that, and yet, it didn't sound like too much of an impossibility.

"Atom…"

His affectionate tone was matched by the loving way he pressed a kiss to the tip of your nose before he claimed your lips again in the softest kiss of the night, letting you climb out of his lap afterwards knowing there were things to be done after sex.

"'m ordering a pizza before we go to bed," he called after you as you grabbed your sweater from the floor, using your other hand to attempt to run your fingers through your messy hair.

"'m gonna shower," you replied, grabbing the other pile of clothes to add them to the hamper. He loved how easy things had become between the two of you in these recent years - he wouldn't give it up for all the power in the world. "Extra cheese or I'm breaking up with you."

"What kind of monster do you take me for?"

"The kinda monster that better hurry up so he can join me in the shower."

You took him by surprise by leaning behind him, pressing a kiss to his cheek as your arms hugged around his neck briefly. Sometimes he didn't know how or why or for how long it would last, but he knew for now, at least, you loved him in ways writers try to convey in novels.

"I'll be so fast you'll think I teleported there."

Of the things he’d lost that day, there was one in particular that weighed on his mind like a bad conscience. The reason for so many of what he used to hold in his heart as his best days, the very same that now incessantly repeated in his mind, an unremitting reminder of what he used to have.

When he declared he had lost everything due to the incident, he was speaking of you.

It hadn’t taken long for him to reach through to steal a look at his lost love, and while he told himself it needed to be something that didn't become a habit that's exactly what happened. Some things never changed - he was still more than happy to do nothing more than gaze at you in silence, enjoying how you adjusted annoyances as you read, the way your nose crinkled in focus, the way you fell asleep on your desk, the way you played with the necklace he'd given you when you were nervous…

He'd almost broken his promise to himself several times now, happening across you on a bad morning and an even worse night when the emptiness in your chest at the loss of him was too much to bare, the false face you normally wore too much effort to carry on forever. You missed him, and sometimes you couldn't bring yourself to do more than sob that fact into the night, clutching the lab coat wearing teddy bear he'd gifted you to your chest.

He was positive he still had a heart, because he could feel it breaking every time.

Now was one of those times, perhaps the worst he'd seen you endure, and he'd only been watching for a minute now…at least, that's what he thought, though he wasn't keeping track of time. Your eyes were burning red and you had a framed photo of the two of you lying on the bed next to you, one of his old shirts hugging your frame in familiarity.

“Jonathan?”

The sound of his name from your lips again punched another hole somewhere in him far deeper than any other. You felt him - without words you knew he was there, his presence occupying your space in a familiar comfort that you’d come to accept was irreplaceable. So he had lost track of time…enough time for you to feel him again, the man you'd spent so many hours with in the past exactly like this.

“Jonny?”

He wanted to disappear, a war waging in his mind between the profound desire to hold you again and the need to hide what he’d become from you. Instead, he was frozen, even his mind quiet as the way his name rolled off your tongue again filled his ears sweeter than any memory. He'd promised himself that you would never have to look at what he had become, insistent that you thinking he was dead was better.

“Please, Jonny…I can feel you,” your voice broke more and more with each word, desperate to plead to him enough to persuade him. “I know…I know you’re there, somehow. Please.”

What was he supposed to do when you begged like this? You used to beg in the sweetest ways, he'd never made you beg for anything in earnest, not through tears like this…

Seeing you like this because of him made him feel more villainous and monstrous than anything else he'd done. It was anxiety inducing to watch you beg for the man he used to be, knowing he could never again give you what he once did. It made him sick - every cell felt sick, every portal poisoned and shrinking, withdrawing within himself.

But one more sob from you and a lapse in judgement from him led to a wrong step, his form stepping through a portal directly at the foot of your bed before he could take it back.

Oh, how he'd missed your bravery. You were sitting in a flash, eyes wide and puzzled but not at all afraid as you looked upon him - the new him. For the first time he had to wonder if this form blushed - he felt his cheeks heating like he would have before, but that didn't mean they looked the same. You leaned against the headboard, away from him which was exactly the opposite of the pull you felt to him.

A familiar pull - one that you'd only ever felt before with one person, with your person. Your eyes resolved in knowingness and you glanced at the photo beside you before your eyes found what was technically his face again, eyebrows pulling together as you worked through your puzzled thoughts.

At least you'd stopped crying.

"J…Jonathan?"

A breath was sucked from somewhere in him and filled the room with a heavy sigh saturated in relief - he couldn't deny how right it felt that you were speaking to him again, seated in the same room…seated in the room you'd shared.

"Remember…you used to say I was so black or white," he cleared his throat that suddenly felt far too dry, an oversized hand coming up to the back of his neck to rub nervously. This is where he used to run his fingers through his hair, you noted internally as your eyes watered again hearing his voice. "Either a genius or an idiot. Now I'm black and white all at the same time…"

His rambling was cut by your arms flying around his middle, the size different between the two of you that had always been there now even more significant in his new form. He stood frozen in his place, form rigid as you squeezed him as though you would never let him go.

"You're here."

"I…I'm here," his voice was shaking and he wanted to run, he could feel the unease spreading across his body and expanding like a sickness. But the worse he felt, the more the holes shrank…everything about him was on-edge. "But I'm not me anymore, baby. I'm…this."

"You're you," your voice was that sweet, understanding tone you'd used in college with him, before the two of you had even dated and when you were both pretending you were nothing more than best friends. He'd always said it was like a lullaby to a baby. "I felt you."

But he didn't want to hear it now, and something dark and incendiary inside him screamed that you were lying - that there was no logical scenario where you were okay with how he looked.

"Don't patronize me," his voice snapped into something dark, holes flaring out again and spreading to almost encompass him in darkness, almost like a shield. "Don't. I know what I look like. I might not have eyes but I can see. I can see that I look like…a fucking freak. An abomination."

You couldn't imagine what he was feeling. There was no lying to him, he was a reasonable, intelligent man - he knew that this form was not what anyone would describe as perfect and was certainly not what you had fallen in love with, and there was nothing you could say that would convince him otherwise.

"You look like something tragic happened to you," your voice was unfaltering, the delicate tone coaxing him into the relaxation he used to always feel with you. "But I don't care what you look like, and I never have."

"It's not like a bad haircut or weight gain, Atom," he snapped. The vulnerability he was displaying was difficult to navigate as there was truly never someone to go through what he was…there was no anecdote to help him. These days, his default setting was anger.

Anger was better than anything else.

"I'm hideous. Look at me."

"I am," you said quietly, your voice dropping to just above a whisper. You looked right in his face, unwaveringly. He longed to kiss you more than ever before. "I'm looking right at you, Jonny."

That quieted him as he lost himself in the tranquility of you - you were the only one who had ever understood him enough to walk him through the difficult emotions and that was still true, even with his sorrow and rage felt and expressed tenfold. He'd thought so before, always known so with no scientific way to prove it until now…you were made for him.

And him alone.

"My Jonny."

Before he could register the movement your hands were resting on his chest and the walls he was trying to built crumbled, the spots essentially exploding into dozens of smaller ones all across his body, avoiding where your hands rested. As you lightly stroked your fingertips there they merged again to several larger, relatively heart shaped blobs.

He hadn't felt a gentle human touch since the incident, and he'd never thought he'd feel your touch again. If it was possible, he could have died on the spot. It was obvious that he was lost for a moment, forgetting the danger he presented to you, forgetting to maintain control.

But only for a moment, the horrors ever present.

After temporarily losing himself in the haze of feeling your touch again his shaking hands flew out, grasping your waist tight as his breathing came in heavy, concentrated breaths. Instead of letting him retreat within himself you stepped closer, hands slipping as close to his shoulders as you could reach.

"I thought I'd lost you forever," you said quietly, already teaching yourself how to get used to looking up into his face and not seeing his eyes. "And here you are."

"I lost everything," the vulnerability was shining through more as he opened himself to you again, almost having to reteach himself for a moment that you were someone he could share his emotions with. "My dream job…gone. My body…which was no temple to begin with but now I'm just this…this thing. I lost…I lost you. My dream girl…my everything. I lost my everything."

He saw the pain flashing in your eyes as you listened to him - as you empathized as you always had, your heart connected to his.

"You found me again," your voice was breaking again as you spoke, desperate for him to understand that all the times you'd said you'd love him no matter what you'd meant it. "I'm right here."

You moved your arms lower to wrap around his waist, stepping closer - but he ripped himself from you the moment you were close to connecting your head to his torso, the holes once again flaring in fear.

"No!" he shouted, immediately kicking himself for shouting at you. He took a deep breath to steady himself, swallowing hard as he calmed his emotions enough to speak again without lashing out. "You can't…the spots…the holes…"

Your brow pulled together like it always had when you were feeling inquisitive and you only sought to close the distance between the two of you again, stepping forward as you took in every inch of him.

"Holes?"

"They're portals," he explained, suddenly feeling self conscious about himself in ways he hadn't experienced since his one attempt at a high school dance. "I'm still figuring out how they work…and I don't want to lose you. I could really…really lose you."

He had missed this expression on you - when you were so deep in thought it was obvious your full focus was on solving the puzzle presented to you. He'd thought of this long ago and come to the conclusion that you would want to study him - to understand him more.

He wasn't sure he was ready to be the experiment under your scrutiny. But he was certain he could never be away from you again.

"Portals to where?"

"Everywhere," just like a doctor and patient, you were asking questions, formulating a hypothesis, he was providing the data. How many times had the two of you lived this scenario? Was now really so different? He remembered how you used to look at him in amazement…your expression now was truly no different than it ever had been. "Sometimes just back through another portal. Sometimes to other dimensions to other…universes. I've gotten lost and…I'd never forgive myself if you fell through. You can't be close to me."

"You just need to learn how to control them."

"I can't," he breathed out, his words exasperated with a break in the middle to accentuate it. It was all he could manage - it was all he had to.

"You can," it wasn't a tone full of false hope, it was decisive and resolute - you believed he could, and with your belief, he would try. "It's just another thing to learn, and you're the smartest man I know."

Before he could react to your sudden movements you closed the distance between the two of you again, sticking your hand through one of the holes in his arm with a deep breath.

"Hey -!"

Almost instantly your hand reappeared through his chest and a sigh of relief ripped through him, a puzzled smile spreading across your face as you wiggled your fingers. "Intriguing," he swore he could hear a familiar purr behind your words, and he had to wonder if you were trying to distract him from the complex mix of emotions he was experiencing. "How unique."

"You…you mean how freakish," he attempted to correct, focused on the feeling of you reaching into him. "This uhm…this has to be weird."

"You've stuck fingers in me," you defended, the playful tone in your voice one of the exact things he'd missed. Then again, in truth, he'd missed everything about you, even the parts he once didn't love.

"Atom…"

You pulled your hand back through him which earned another relieved sigh from his chest, his nervous breaths returning as you wrapped your arms around his torso again, your head finding a rightful position lying against his chest.

"Just hold me. You'd never let yourself lose me."

Your faith in him was misguided and foolish, the love you felt for him clouding your mind from the horror that you held in your arms - he was convinced of it. He froze, unwilling to give into even the slightest movement that would create a domino effect, unwilling to do anything to increase the risk he posed to you.

But seconds passed without incident until he'd been allowing you to hold onto him for several minutes. You were still here, still against him, still warming him up in ways he had longed to feel again for what had already felt like an eternity. Slowly, his arms circled you, pulling you slightly closer, clutching to you like you might still disappear at any moment.

As the minutes ticked away his arms got tighter and tighter, his hands resting on your lower back like you were made of porcelain.

"You kept all of my stuff…"

His voice was still so unsure, like he felt he was intruding…like he didn't belong here, in his own home. Like he didn't deserve to be holding you again. You nuzzled into him further in response, your hands flattening against his back to hold him against you tighter.

"I could never get rid of anything that makes me think of you," you whispered, eyes closed as you soaked in the moment, feelings both familiar and new.

"I haven't…laid in a bed since…"

He trailed off and you could feel the energy around him darken - you knew anger was a secondary emotion and in this instance it followed unimaginable hurt.

"Come to bed with me," you weren't asking, it was an instruction - voice unwavering and unquestioning. You looked up into his face again, and it was just like it had always been - you looked at him like you loved him.

"But why would you…ah -"

You really didn't mind the new height, in fact him towering over you more than ever before was causing other feelings that weren't quite appropriate for this sweet lovers' reunion, but it did make standing on your tiptoes more obsolete than ever, your lips barely reaching his chest. His words were cut off, a whine taking their place when your lips connected with his skin. He melted like it was the first time you kissed him, any residual panic withdrawing further into him as he held you tighter.

You felt the shift in his energy and smiled against him as you pressed more kisses wherever you could reach, mindful when you approached a spot, lips continuing to brush against him as you spoke.

"If you get into bed with me I can kiss more of you," "You're so tall now, Jonny. Can't reach."

One thing that hadn't changed was his complete willingness to obey you, to give in to your every request, to fulfill every instruction…it continued to be true as he scrambled into the bed, nearly groaning at the familiar feeling of his pillow and the sheets you'd insisted they needed again. The seconds that passed with him alone - with him getting used to his new height in the bed he once fit comfortably in, getting used to controlling the holes (when was the last time he'd laid down?).

But when you climbed into the bed beside him, the anxieties vanished. You moved as close to him as you could, one of your hands delicately resting on his torso while the other reached to his face, stroking your thumb across his cheek delicately.

It was the kind of moment where your eyes close in serenity, and somewhere inside him he felt it. Maybe he was a fool for thinking this could last, but with the multiverse at his fingertips, he'd always reach out to you.

All of the versions of you were meant to be his.

And they would be.

masterlist. marvel masterlist.

#jonathan ohnn #the spot #jonathan ohnn x reader #the spot x reader #jonathan ohnn smut #the spot smut #across the spiderverse #spiderverse smut #spiderverse fanfiction

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yurinaa-world · 3 months

Note

For the milestone event! (OMG CONGRATS!!!) Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, and Gepard with H, J, K, and W

🩷🩷🩷 Congrats again on 800!!

✦Characters: Dan Heng, Jing Yuan, & Gepard

✦Alphabet: H, J, K, W

800 Follower Milestone Event; Under The Stars

𝒟𝒶𝓃 𝐻𝑒𝓃𝑔

✦Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

In the past, he had so many secrets. About who he was, where he came from and especially didn’t like to talk about before he came to the express. He was scared. Scared at how you would react. Scared that he would get you and take you away from him. Scared that you would leave him if you found out what his last reincarnation did.

He was terrified When you saw him as imbibitor lunae, but your reaction wasn’t what his brain imagined at all. You looked happy. Just kept on staring at him, giving him so many compliments. “Aren't you scared of me or hate me?” He looked at you seriously. “Why would I hate you? I’m not mad either if that's what you're thinking.” You aren’t mad at him or having anything negative against him.

After that, he begins to share everything with you. Whatever he may be thinking, he’ll tell since there isn’t anything holding him anymore like it used to.

✦Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Not really, but when he does, it's obvious. His face is black most of the time, and the occasional small smile, but when he’s jealous, he scowls while gritting at the sight of you and that guy you're talking to who’s getting too close to you. Afterwards, just thinking about it makes him a little mad. You’ll have to cheer him up.

✦Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He's a shy type of kisser. He pulls you into a kiss but doesn’t kiss any deeper into you. If you want to make the deeper, then you’ll be the one to go deep on him.

Nervous, his hands were shaky and sweaty; looking into your eyes made you both fluster before he leaned to kiss you, yet it felt like something at the lip of your lips but stilling, leaving you flushed.

✦W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Has you in his lap to read with him while sitting in his lap. Reading one of those books you find so dull! So dull that you'd rather have some fun instead. To the point that you begin to cause trouble by kissing him all over until he breaks from the madness of your love<3

𝒥𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝒴𝓊𝒶𝓃

✦Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

He's pretty open about everything, even the past and what transpired with old friends. He trusts you since you decided to take his hand and spend your life with him, for him and not anything else, which warms his heart.

✦Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He never gets jealous. He’s amused by anyone trying to whisk you away from him; how idiotic. They think you're gullible enough to fall for their little compliments.

✦Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yeah, the man knows what he’s doing; he uses every little point in your body against you to make you flustered.

He was gentle on his first kiss with you, though. He was so soft that he almost felt like a feather, almost like testing the waters before figuring out what action to take with you next time.

✦W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He saw you looking at Pushie at one of the stalls someone was selling when he asked you if you wanted, and you just said. The next time he went around the area, he saw the plushies again. he immediately bought 30 of them and put them all on your shared bed. Just chuckles when he sees your shocked face.

𝒢𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝒹 𝐿𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒶𝓊

✦Honesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Just a couple of secrets. He just doesn’t like talking about his father that much, thinking about when he was younger, and serval always had to protect him from their dad; it’s something he doesn’t want to think about, especially with how his life is going right now with you. You’ll find him weak if tells you about it. Just be patient about it. He'll come to you talking about it.

✦Jealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He looks so cute when jealous, like a pout on his face that makes him look like a golden retriever. He makes it even better because he has blond hair or an awkward smile (it’s usually the smile). He just feels a little uncomfortable when someone is hitting on you right in right of him but definitely steps in and gets serious when they don’t take the hint.

✦Kiss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

He’s a bit messy with it; just not really sure where he should put his hands if he puts them where you’re comfortable. When finally figures that out, he just gets a little embarrassed when he looks into your eyes before leaning in to give you a soft, feather-like kiss, feeling like it barely touched your lips.

✦W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He is always grateful to you for coming to him on break and giving him the food you prepared, he sees your face lighting up when eats and loves it! It’s so cute. He means when he says he’ll eat your cooking every day of the week and never get sick! Since it’s you, and he could never get sick of you.

#Yurinna's800followerevent #jing yuan #jing yuan x reader #jing yuan x you #hsr jing yuan #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x reader #star rail x reader #hsr x you #hsr x reader #gepard x reader #gepard honkai starrail #gepard honkai x reader #Dan Heng x reader #hsr dan heng x reader #dan heng x you

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wiltedkyinn · 1 year

Text

was i ever there?

part one

Wc: 1.8k

requested (click here to see it) by: @megsthings

After the war, after dying and coming back to life. It went back like it always was. Lo’ak being reckless, neteyam taking the punishment for him, kiri wasn't actually outcast but she isolates herself, tuk clinging onto y/n, neytiri and Jake being too busy with their children to notice y/n. After Ronal saved you, you found comfort in her, an actual mother figure. Something you yearned for. She checked up with you, she was the one you saved you. While you were somewhere closer with your family, you were closer to the clan’s leader family. You fitted in, almost like you were birthed into the wrong family, the wrong clan. Tonowari took you under his wing, started to teach you how to hunt, and how to tame bigger animals. He took in place where your own father was supposed to be. While y/n was still distant with Aonung and Roxto, after a while they started to include you in things, sometimes playing pranks, sometimes just to hang out. Taking in place where your brothers were supposed to be. Tsireya was a gentle and caring soul. Taking the place of y/n's sister, Kiri's place. No one could’ve taken tuk’s place, she would still try to cling onto you when you transition to the sully’s marui until you were in the marui of ronal, tonowari, tsireya and Aonung. You were older than Aonung by a couple of months, making you the oldest out of the 2.

When Tsireya was too busy with something else you stood in her place, helping Ronal heal others. You would go on the hunt with the members of the clan including Tonowari and your father. Whenever you were praised by Tonowari, your eyes lit up at his compliments, Jake would throw in a few words of encouragement. You gave an awkward smile and nodded your head. He couldn't lie seeing how different you treat tonowari, like he was your father. while you treated him like a distant friend, made his heart shatter. He decided to stay quiet while you were listening to the techniques that Tonowari gave out.

When you and the rest of the hunt came back the others crowded you, tsireya checked you for wounds. You laughed at her when she threw a punch at you. Aonung and Roxto were behind her, when she walked away to check on her father. “They great warrior y/n, what have you caught us to eat” roxto had a high pitched voice, his hand on his heart looking at you with heart eyes. “Don't you like kiri?” that quickly shut him up. You and Aonung laugh at his reaction. While you and the two reef na’vi were talking about how you killed various animals, telling them the stories, you felt a child jump on your back right on your scar. It had been almost a year since the war. “n/n! Your back, how was it?” you looked behind you, met with the eyes of his youngest sister, tuk. “It was so cool, I caught so many fish tuk!” y/n voice was full of joy. Tuk was in y/n arms, her head leaning on his shoulder. He turned around hearing the footsteps of his family. “Why are you allowed to go and I can't?” lo’ak immediately started to whine. “It's because he is better than you, obviously” kiri was trying to get a rise of her older brother. y/n nodded, agreeing with his younger sister. “y/n come on go clean so you can join dinner.” Ronal yelled, almost done with seasoning the fish. Y/n quickly put down tuk and ran to the ocean washing his face and legs, making sure to get all of the dirt off. After washing he decided to eat with his actual family, something he hasn't done in almost 2 months. He helped neytiri get dishes of the many different choices. He started a fire, to help and keep his family warm while they eat. After preparing everything his mom called out for the rest of the family to come and eat. Once everyone sat, Jake took notice of y/n sitting in between tuk and neteyam. He smiled, any negative feelings washed away, seeing him joking with his siblings. The family was interrupted as someone covered y/n eyes,” guess who n/n~” the unknown person sang out in a high-pitched tone. “We are not 6 roxto” even if his eyes were covered, everyone knew that he was rolling his eyes. “How could call me roxto, skxwang” Aonung voice was normal, he lifted his hand off of y/n face. “You guys are so idiotic I can't tell the difference anymore” y/n held a playful frown. “What do you want anyways? I'm trying to eat” y/n asked, getting ready to get more fish. “Come on, mom won't let us eat unless you're there” Aonungs hand on your shoulder” tell her i'm eating with my family” he took a bite of the fish. “Your family? Didn't you say that yo–” he cut off y/n loudly coughing, hitting his chest. “I have never said, wherever you heard it ain't come for me. I would never say something like that” you were quick to shush the reef na’vi. He quickly caught on, and slowly backed away from the family of 7. y/n filled his mouth with food, trying to avoid the conversation that was bound to happen. “Woah, they made this spicy. I'm going to get something to drink. Do you guys want some water?” y/n was practically jumping up before he even finished the sentence.

“What was Aonung talking about y/n?” Jake was death glaring y/n, “that's a good question actually! Uhm, I'm not sure. Sometimes I think he is ill in the head.” y/n was such a bad lair, even tuk could tell he was lying. “Go, we’ll talk about it later” neytiri intervened before Jake started yelling. y/n mouthed a thank you towards his mom. Aonung was waiting for him by the shore, they were barely out of earshot. But y/ns parents could easily hear them. “Bro why would you say that, now i'm ‘bout be yelled at.” Y/n delivered a punch towards the younger arm, “chill it's not like you're even gonna listen to them. Plus your sleep at my family marui, at this point why do you keep calling them your family? You're practically my brother.” you and him started to walk off, to get some water.

You dreaded walking back, praying to your grandpa that they wouldn't be awake. But he did not grant you your prayer. You took a big gulp of the cold water. Slowly you sat back down and went back to eating, trying to push off the 5 pairs of eyes off of you. “So, what was he talking about?” lo’ak was looking into my eyes. “I just tell him how I feel, nothing bad” for a second everything was at ease, but nothing lasts forever. “It has to mean something, he even asked why you still call us your family.” Jake's voice was low, almost like he was growling. Jake got up walking into the shared family marui. Y/n groaned and followed him into the marui,

“What possible feelings do you have that causes someone to even suggest something like that?” Jake was trying his hardest to not yell, aware of the rest of his kids outside of the hut. “What have we done to make you feel like that?” Neytiri's voice was soft, like she was about to break completely. “You’ve done nothing! That is the problem,” y/n was so tired of being forgotten by his own family. “When you guys forgot me, I found a family that wouldn't. You brought this on yourself and now you're mad at me?” y/n wasn't yelling but he wasn't keeping quiet either, he aggressively moved his hands as another way to show his anger. “Do you guys even remember me taming my own ikran? That's because you weren't there! You guys were never there for me! Always busy with another person or sibling.” unbeknownst to him, said siblings were listening in. “After the war, after I literally died but somehow survived, you guys forgot me again! Ronal taught me how to properly treat a wound, not you. Tonowari taught me how to kill a prey without being caught, not you!” tears started to threaten to spill. “So, I'm sorry if I found more of a family in them than you.” y/n looked at his father, “the day i came back, that was the first you had held me, since– i'm not even sure.” tears started spilling from his eyes. “I was all alone, ever since I could remember and neither of you seemed to care.” y/n mumbled, walking out to his siblings. He gave a weak smile and started to speed walking into the water. He didn't take the time to stop and look at the passing glowing corals, not like he did a day ago. No, a day ago he wasn't consumed with so many different emotions; at least not like this. He felt resentment, embarrassment, sadness, relief. Resent towards his parents for never being there, embarrassed that he let his emotions take over him, relief for finally saying his true feelings. Sadness, sadness for his siblings, his parents, neighbors for having to hear the arguing. All these feelings tired the poor boy's body. Ever since the war he has not been able to go back to 100% back to himself, maybe it was the mental scars or the physical scars. He looks different from it, seemingly more tired, easier to anger. Everyone noticed, how could they not? Before the lonely na’vi could even stop himself; he fell asleep.

After the war, Ronal took interest in Y/n Te Suli Tsyeyk'itan. Seeing how he fought for the people of her clan, seeing how he nearly died, seeing how he looked at y/n looked whenever his parents spent their affection on one of his other siblings. She saw him for him. Not for his different colored skin no, not anymore. She saw him as a child, a scared 15-year-old, lonely. She saw the envy, she saw the jealousy, the longing looks. She talked with Tonowari, judging the head of the family. Subconsciously Tonowari judged them too. He understood getting swept away by the other kids, he didn't understand forgetting a kid that actually fucking died and came back to life. Y/n was literally with ewya and after what seemed like a week, they forgot him again? The two parents started y/n out to dinners, hunting. Like a real family. y/n teaching Tsireya how to braid each other's hair, making roxto and Aonung try the spicy food native to the forest na’vi. Actually, freaking out when y/n felt ronals baby kick her. Tonowari telling him sacred stories passed through the generations of the metkayina. Roxto and y/n, the honorary tribe family members.

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wingzie · 1 month

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Keeping a "Safe Place" on Social Media (As Army and a Jikooker)

In my opinion, social media needs to take responsibility for what it has become. I don’t think it ever will, because it feeds on negative attention, but I try to focus on what I can do to help. For myself and others.

My bio on Twitter includes the sentence “A Positive and Safe Space for everyone” and I take this very seriously. As a baby Army, I used to be in several GC’s for report pages. Back then, reporting used to be primarily done in GC’s privately and we tried to limit any engagement. Soon afterwards, I started to witness a change: Egos started to get big, there was a saviour complex with Y/N tendencies, some would start engaging with the posts we reported and deals were being made behind the scenes to protect certain accounts. It made me sad to see this change in priorities and it wasn’t why I joined them in the first place, so I left when things started to go bad.

What did I do instead? Mute, block and report with my own system. I tend to “mute” someone first if they really annoy me and then “block” a second time if they are a repeat offender. I will automatically block and report someone if they say something really bad. I do not engage. That includes: liking, retweeting or quoting. It boosts the harmful tweet. Even more so if your display name includes something related to BTS or the members and it will add to the trends. By taking away the engagement, you are taking away their audience that they are hoping to gain.

I have mentioned before how a particular anti revealed that they would aim to get on a report page's radar, because the posts on them helped advertise their posts and accounts. Their plan was rather like a business model and it was scay how well thought out it all was. It was also clear that they had help and was in a GC thrmselves, just like the report pages were. When report GC's started to die out, they grew even more with how public the fighting became. The antis figured out how the change in social media worked in their benefit, before the rest of the fandom and even the social media creators itself did. They still fail to this day to understand how fandoms (and the language within them) changes over time. The algorithm encourages these type of negative posts too. On my second account I accidently liked a BTS tweet and my feed suddenly contained so much negativity about them, rather than about their projects or joy.

But how is all of this linked with being a Jikooker? Because we sometimes end up boosting that negativity that we really shouldn't. I quite honestly do not care what their theories are, but I always end up seeing them somewhere. More than I see actual posts about Jikook sometimes. Someone reached out to me that they felt like they knew more about tker theories than about BTS or Jikook as a whole. It's also why, whenever something negative happens, I start to spam more Jikookry instead. It's actually how the Live Reactions series was created, because I wanted to counter those talking bad about it. And to help us relive it with fondness.

I also think there is a lack of understanding about what the word "cult" actually means. It is up to an individual to try to break free, but it might also be difficult. There was a post by a young girl who had been added to a tker GC by a friend from school. She wanted to leave, because it was quite frankly bullshit, but was afraid to because she had given the GC owner some private information that they had threatened to leak if she left. That is terrifying and I sometimes think back to that girl and how she is doing. If she did manage to leave or not. For some, they are persuaded to stay whether they really want to or not.

That adds an entire new layer to all of this: Children being on the internet too young or not understanding the implications of certain things. I am a 90's kid. It was drilled into me religiously about the dangers of The Internet. That doesn't seem to be a thing anymore though, or they are quite literally left to their own devices. Because of this, we sadly saw an increase of online crimes aimed towards children during lockdown. There needs to be more done and again social media needs to be taking responsability. Ticking a box claiming your age does nothing to protect anyone. Not every Army with questionable intentions is a child though, of course. There are those that refuse to watch content or rely on heavily edited clips. I get a lot of those edits myself in my inbox, either by tkers or jkers who have found them and asked if they are true. My common answer: No. This is also why I try to give sources and encourage anyone to try to watch all the BTS content that they can. I know there is a lot, but it will help you on your journey. What can be done to stop them? Honestly, not much. We can hope to encourage them though and stop those that wish harm in their tracks. How do we do this? By being louder in our support. Because, at the moment, we're being louder with our hate and social media is boosting that even more. Rather than the praise and love that BTS and Jikook deserve.

#wingzie

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merrybloomwrites · 4 months

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I Hear Them Calling (Chapter 2)

Story Summary: Alpha Harry Styles and omega Y/N Y/L/N meet under less than ideal circumstances. Overtime their paths will cross and they will be drawn to one another in ways they never expected.

Chapter Summary: Y/N & Harry separately reflect on the event that brought them together and cope with the feelings it raised.

AN: It's a bit of a shorter chapter than I originally planned, guess I'm still getting back in the swing of writing after a very crazy week. This chapter is very introspective I would say. Less action than I normally include, but I thought all this was important to set up future chapters, if that makes sense.

Previous Chapters: Prologue ; Chapter 1

CW: Mentions of a previous attempted assault

Word Count: 3.2k

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On Sunday morning you wake up in a cold sweat. You certainly hadn’t had a peaceful night of sleep. You’d been plagued with nightmares of the alpha and what he had done.

It’s early, the sun is just starting to rise, but you give up on sleep. You know that if you close your eyes, you’re just going to keep seeing that man and the paralyzing fear will come back. Distractions are the way to go.

As always, you make yourself a cup of tea to start the day. But it doesn’t sooth you the way it normally does. In fact, you’re feeling even more anxious. You’re confused why a scent you now associate with Sarah, one of the nicest alphas you’ve ever met, is causing such a negative reaction in your body.

You start to run through everything that happened the night before. It all comes back in vivid detail. Up until one point when it suddenly went dark, and your memories become fuzzy and confusing.

What the hell had even happened there? Because it wasn’t a drop. You had dropped twice before, and this was different. You’re completely unaware during a drop and have no memories after. Instead, you’re just left feeling dizzy, and so, so alone.

But this time wasn’t like that. It was hazy, sure, but you were still somewhat aware of your surroundings. You were aware that even after you practically lost consciousness, he still moved closer to your neck and tried to forcibly scent you. You remember falling, knowing you wouldn’t be able to catch yourself. But someone was there to break your fall and help you sit.

That’s when you were surrounded by the tea scent. At the time you had no idea it belonged to such a kind and gentle person. You just knew there was still an alpha touching you, and you had no clue what their intentions might be. But then you became aware of the calming pheromones they were releasing. This immediately helped you relax and made you start to trust this unknown alpha.

You had picked up on the presence of another alpha nearby. One who was releasing a bitter, angry scent before quickly switching to a calming one as well. Now you know that it was Harry, though his scent at the time was nothing like the wonderful one that permeated his dressing room.

The next memories are quite embarrassing to remember. You’re happy that Rachel had taught you about Harry’s band before the show. Because at least you could identify that the man who’s lap you were in was his guitarist, Mitch.

And then you think about how wonderful they all were. How they took care of you and made sure you were okay. Especially Harry.

You still can’t figure out what that was about. He was so protective, so worried. That alone had your omega trying to stake claim on the man. Never before had someone cared that much about you and your wellbeing. And then his scent. God, it was amazing. You’re eternally grateful you didn’t see him again after the show. You know you would have said or done something stupid. His smell would probably be more prominent after a show, sweat washing off the extra scent blockers he obviously wore in public.

Your mind starts to wander thinking about how delicious his scent probably is when it’s direct and unmasked. It’s a good thing your phone dings, pulling you back to the present before your thoughts can turn into inappropriate territory.

It’s Jada, sending you the videos she took the night before and informing you that Harry will set aside up to 6 tickets for whichever day you choose. You thank her for the videos and let her know you’ll get back to her after talking to your friends.

You’re not ready yet to talk about what happened at the show, so you hold off texting your friends for the moment. You know you’ll need to explain what happened, since you don’t want to lie about why you’re getting these tickets, but it can wait a few days.

Getting back to your distractions you spend the day deep cleaning your apartment and running errands. Anything to keep your mind busy.

You send the videos to Rachel and make plans for her to come over for lunch Saturday. You’ll tell her the truth about the concert then. Violet reaches out in the group chat, checking that you and Ameila will still be coming over for your usual Friday night hangout that week. That somehow leads to a discussion about favorite types of soup and by the time you’re all done debating broccoli cheddar versus tomato basil, it’s time for bed.

You’re exhausted from the sleepless night prior and you hope that you’re so tired you won’t have any dreams. Unfortunately, that doesn’t happen. Of course not. No, you once again have nightmares of the alpha. Unlike the night before, when it had just been repeats of what happened, now it was what could have happened. All the worst-case scenarios.

Monday morning rolls around, and you might actually be more tired than you were before bed. You go to make your cup of tea and see hot chocolate mix on the shelf. For a moment you hesitate and then grab the container, making a mug of cocoa. It’s a bit of an odd choice, since it has zero caffeine and it’s August, but it feels like the right thing to do.

The smell of the chocolate immediately settles you, and you feel more at ease than you have in days. You have a theory why, but you try not to think too deeply about it as you continue your morning routine.

You sit at your desk to begin working for the day. You normally love that you have a completely remote job as a data analyst. But it’s a rough morning for you. You’re restless, completely unable to sit still, like there’s ants crawling under your skin.

Nothing gets done, so when it hits 1PM and you still haven’t crossed a single thing off your to-do list you decide to leave the apartment to get lunch. You pack up your laptop, thinking maybe your afternoon will be more productive with a change of scenery.

You grab a sandwich from the local deli and walk to the nearby park. You sit at a table next to some rose bushes. Their fragrance is strong, and it settles you. You sit for hours, completing all the work you wanted to accomplish that day.

It’s obvious why the roses helped you feel better. For the same reason the chocolate smell calmed you that morning. You’re embarrassed that Harry’s scent, even just reminders of it, has such an effect on you, but you lean into it.

There’s a boutique by the park that you know sells candles and other scented things, so you go in with one goal in mind. After smelling way more candles than is probably socially acceptable you find one that you think will work. It’s woodsy, and just a little floral. It’s missing the chocolate component, but you figure it’s as close to Harry’s scent as you’ll get. It also comes as a reed diffuser and a room spray, so you purchase all three.

That night before bed you set up the diffuser and have another cup of hot chocolate. You finally sleep peacefully through the night and wake up refreshed.

You follow this routine all week, switching your normal tea to hot chocolate, working outside by the rose bushes, and ensuring your home smells like Harry.

On Friday night you head over to Violet’s house. The night starts off as usual, take out and a movie that you barely watch as you catch up and talk about your weeks.

“So, how was the concert?” Amelia asks.

For a second you nearly lie. Almost say, oh it was great and show the videos Jada took for you. But they’re your best friends, the people you can tell anything. You take a deep breath and say, “He definitely puts on a good show. But unfortunately, I didn’t really see it.”

“What do you mean?” Violet asks.

“There was this alpha in the audience,” you begin, and your friends immediately tense up, knowing where the story is likely to go.

“I noticed him the second I got there and moved to blend in with the crowd. I thought I had lost him, but I went with some girls to the bathroom and apparently he’d followed me and waited outside. When I walked out of the bathroom he used his alpha voice and made me follow him to a secluded area.”

“What a bastard!” Amelia interjects and Violet nods her head in agreement.

They see the tears welling in your eyes and move closer, each wrapping an arm around you before you continue.

“Once he got me alone he used his alpha voice again. I couldn’t move or say anything. He tried to scent me, and honestly was probably going to do a lot worse things. But I went into a half-drop or something.” You pause, taking a deep breath and they hold you even tighter to comfort you.

After calming down again you say, “And then things got weird.”

“I’m sorry, they weren’t weird already?” Amelia asks.

“Honestly, no. They were awful, but as an omega, not unexpected. What was weird, was waking up literally sitting in Mitch Rowlands lap with Sarah Jones and Harry Styles watching me from across the hall.”

“Harry Styles?” Violet says incredulously.

“Yes,” you reply.

“The Harry Styles?” Ameila adds.

“Yes, guys. The real Harry Styles.”

“Why was he there? Wouldn’t security be taking care of the situation? Not the performer?”

You realize Amelia makes a good point. Why did Harry and his band members respond to this incident? Wouldn’t it make more sense that they stay far away from potentially dangerous situations?

After thinking for a moment, you say, “He and Sarah are alphas. They probably sensed something was wrong and came to help. I wasn’t able to say anything, but I was able to send out some distress signals, so I guess they responded to that.”

“And this all happened before the show?” Violet asks.

“It was while the opener was on. And then they took me to Harry’s dressing room to talk to a police officer and have a medic check that I was ok. I was planning to go back to the crowd once they finished but Harry wouldn’t let me.”

“Wouldn’t let you? Sounds like another controlling alpha,” Violet says.

“No, no, that was bad wording. I mean, yea, he didn’t want me going back to the crowd again but not in a controlling way. He wanted to protect me. He said his alpha was still worried about me and he wouldn’t be able to perform if he didn’t know that I was safe.”

“Wow, that’s kind of intense,” Amelia says. “Are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Mostly. I think.”

They both give you a look and you explain, “I mean, it sucked, obviously. I hate that alphas have that kind of control over me. And I keep thinking about how much worse it could have been. But nothing too bad ended up happening. Plus, I got to meet Harry Styles so that’s a win.”

“What was he really like?” Violet questions.

“Well, he’s just as kind as everyone says. Most of the time he gave me space since he’s also an alpha, but at one point he held my hand for like, a second, and it felt like it’d been burned. I literally couldn’t believe his skin had touched mine. And the way his alpha was still on edge even when the danger was gone, I still don’t know how to explain that. Plus, his scent, God-” you cut yourself off before you can embarrass yourself about your obsession.

“Oh no, you can’t stop there!” Amelia says. “What is it like?”

For some reason you want to keep the specifics to yourself, so you reply, “I dunno, but it has this warmth to it, and like, a fresh outdoorsy smell. Anyway, uhm, I watched the concert on a TV in his dressing room. He’s giving me some tickets for any of the other New York shows, and I want you two and Rachel to come so we need to pick a date.”

You guys start to look at your calendars and write down a few of the shows that will work.

“When I see Rachel tomorrow I’ll see if any of these days work for her too,” you say once you have a short list.

“Does she know what happened?” Violet asks.

“Not yet. She doesn’t even know I’m an omega. I’m going to tell her everything tomorrow.”

“Are you comfortable with that?”

“Yea, I mean I trust her. She’s a good friend. She’s just a newer friend and it takes me awhile to open up about my, you know, status.”

“If you need us, for anything at all, you call or text and we’re there okay?”

You nod and smile, knowing that you have the two best friends in the world and that everything will be alright. You guys finish the night with some ice cream, and if your friends are curious about you picking chocolate when strawberry has always been your favorite, they don’t comment on it.

Lunch with Rachel the next day is a little more nerve wracking, but by the end you feel so much better. You explain everything about yourself and what happened at the concert the week before. She’s more knowledgeable about omegas than you expected, and she explains her favorite cousin is an omega.

“Y/N, I’m sorry I encouraged you to go alone. I know how dangerous outings like that are. Seriously I think a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when my cousin officially bonded her alpha and had protection from him.”

“Rach, I’m a big girl, I chose to go alone. I thought my suppressants and scent blockers would have hidden my secret, but sometime alphas can still literally sniff us out.”

“Do you think the medicines are losing their effectiveness? Like you’ve built an immunity cause you’ve been on them so long?”

“They’re supposed to last a decade before that happens, I’ve only been on these eight years.”

“Probably couldn’t hurt to check though, right?”

You agree with her and make a mental note to at least put a call out to your doctor soon.

“And no concerts alone, got it?” You smile at her protectiveness and nod in agreement.

“Definitely not alone, but I am being given tickets for us to go to another show since I basically missed the first one.”

“Seriously? When?”

“I invited Violet and Amelia, and we have some dates that work for us. Can you do any of them too?”

You settle on September 10th and you text Jada later that day to let her know. She responds almost immediately which surprises you because you assume they’re getting ready for his show that night.

After talking to all your friends you’re feeling much better than you have all week. Plus, knowing you get to see Harry’s show soon has you excited. You don’t think you’ll get to see him again, but maybe just being in the same room will be enough to settle your omega. And hopefully it can show your omega how truly unattainable the alpha is, and you can stop obsessing over him.

***

Harry’s pacing in his dressing room. It’s Saturday, night five of his NYC residency, and exactly one week since he met Y/N. And it’s been one week since he’s seen Y/N. And his alpha is restless.

“Harry, I’m sure she’s fine,” Mitch says firmly, ever the voice of reason.

“Then why hasn’t she texted Jada back? It’s been days!”

“She probably just hasn’t been able to coordinate with her friends yet,” Sarah says as she tries to soothe him.

Harry sits on the couch and sighs. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I don’t know why I’m like this right now. Why I’m so worried about her.”

“Well, it’s probably because she’s an omega. And you are a good alpha. Your instinct is to take care of her. And she nearly got hurt. Here. At your show. And I’m thinking you feel like you are at least partially responsible, which is dumb, because you’re not. But you’re a good person, and you care deeply, which makes you maybe a bit emotional about things like this?”

Harry takes in Sarah’s words. She’s right. He didn’t want to admit it out loud, but he feels guilty. He’s devastated that this happened at his show, a place that he always thought was safe for his fans.

“What if it’s more than that?” Harry asks quietly.

“What do you mean?” Mitch questions.

“What if she’s not just an omega?”

Sarah and Mitch expect him to continue, so when he just sits there silently they share a confused look.

“Care to explain?” Mitch says, encouraging him to open up to them.

“I feel like maybe she’s special. I mean, my alpha has definitely taken a liking to her. I was ready to rip that other alphas throat out when I saw his hands on her. And the only way I was able to do the concert was because I knew she was basically locked away from everyone else with security outside the door. I had to know she was safe. And I hate not knowing if she’s okay now. Plus, there was a moment.”

“A moment?” Sarah presses.

“Yea I uhm, we were alone in the room right before the show. And I held her hand. Just to like, reassure her I guess. It was only a second, but I swear to God there were sparks. I’ve never felt anything like it, especially not from just holding hands.”

“Do you feel connected to her, or is your alpha connected to her omega?” Sarah asks to clarify.

“I honestly don’t know. Normally I can separate the two, but the situation brought my alpha out more than usual.”

Before anyone can ask more questions there’s a knock at the door.

“Come in!” Harry calls out and Jada enters the room.

“Hey Harry. Y/N just texted, she and three friends are planning to come to the show on September 10th if that still works.”

“Yes, of course! Please send her four VIP tickets. In a box or somewhere sectioned off if possible. And passes to come backstage before the show, okay?”

“Got it, I’ll send her everything they’ll need.”

“Wonderful. Thank you, Jada.”

She smiles, waving to Mitch and Sarah as she walks out of the room.

“Well, there you go,” Sarah says. “She is obviously fine if she’s texting and making plans. And you’ll see her again on the 10th!”

“If your alpha can last three weeks,” Mitch says teasingly.

“Shut up,” Harry drawls out, smiling at his best friend.

Mitch may think it’s a joke, but Harry truly doesn’t know if he can go three more weeks without seeing Y/N. Maybe three weeks will be enough to calm down his alpha, and shake this obsession he has with the lovely omega.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Thanks again for reading this story! Chapter 3 is already in the works, and I am very excited for the Harry & Y/N reunion.

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite@theekyliepage@numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry@ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess@houseofdilfs@shaquille-0atmeal-1@kissitnhekitchen @amateurduck @poguestyleskye@n0vaj3an@snwells@drunk-teens-doing-drugs ; @fdl305 @creativelyeva @daphnesutton @selluequestrian @lovingfurypanda @stardream14 @tbsloneely @eversincehs1

#harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you

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copperbadge · 1 year

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Having ADHD and Being A Little Punk Rock

So....a huge amount of the discourse on Tumblr around neurodiversity generally is just venting. Which is good, it’s good to vent and Tumblr is a good place for it. And I know that often, when venting, the LAST thing you want to hear is someone trying to offer help or solutions. So generally I keep my mouth shut unless someone is speaking to me specifically.

But a while back I saw someone asking (rhetorically) about what people with ADHD wish their parents had known, and I had a lot of thoughts about that which I started jotting down. Reading the various ADHD tags, I also see a lot of teens and twentysomethings with ADHD who visibly have no coping mechanisms and no way of creating them. I don’t blame the kids, and it’s not some kind of personal failing on their part; they’re young, and nobody has taught them. But I look at them and I think, A little sideways thinking would help you out so much. Then, recently, I got an ask (thank you for the permission not to respond directly) that was full of feelings about not being able to process or communicate well, and feeling a lot of negative emotions because of it.

So, maybe it’s time to just throw this out there. I want to offer some advice as Fandom Dad with forty-three years of being neurodiverse and exactly seven months of actually being aware I was neurodiverse. Which for once is actually going to be pretty helpful! Because I looked at the world and I assumed my own neurotypicality and I thought, well, okay, but fuck all that.

Allow me to explain.

I think this can apply to a number of ways in which people are neurodiverse, but I have ADHD so that’s what I’m really speaking to here. With ADHD, there’s medication, and I strongly urge people to explore that option because medication is awesome when it works. But there’s also a lot out there about how to try harder, or trick yourself into doing something in a very neurotypical way, or use systems that may not work for you. I know; I tried some too, and the sense of failure, the sense of being an ongoing failure, is terrible. So I want to offer an alternative which has helped me a great deal, and may help other people with ADHD, particularly younger people.

People of any age, but especially young people who have ADHD, should be made aware that it’s okay to suck at things, to struggle, and to fail. Even if you think you should be good at something, even if everyone around you thinks so too, it’s okay to just be garbage at it and to acknowledge that fact. But just saying “well I’m dumb and can’t do this” of course isn’t actually helpful, and harms you a great deal, because you are a living person with feelings and if you’re self-aware enough to notice, you’re also too smart to be calling yourself dumb. Acknowledging that you’re bad at something, and even acknowledging that you’d like to succeed at it, is only part one of figuring life out.

Part two is deciding what to do about it, and more importantly, how.

I was always told I was smart, but I was told “You’re smart so you should be able to do this”, not “You’re smart, so let’s come up with a way around this.” I don’t think many people are encouraged to explore why they are bad at something, to understand their own brains and thought processes which cause them to struggle.

Decades before I knew I had ADHD, I had to figure out that one of life’s most important skills is not being able to creatively solve problems but to recognize when you have to. Anyone can sit around and come up with three or four ways to solve a problem, but it’s not actually often taught that you should also be aware of when this is needed. Often, when faced with a problem that is difficult to solve, we’re taught that our reaction should be the socially approved “I just need to try harder”. Sometimes that’s true, but usually it’s not.

More often, when we feel that instinct, especially as people with ADHD, we should say instead, “I’m not going to try harder, that’s bullshit. I’m trying already. I’m going to find another way to solve this problem.” Trying harder doesn’t work, after all, when your own brain is fighting you.

So you stop and think, if there were no rules to the world, how could I do this? You don’t have to work smarter; a lot of my solutions could reasonably be described as “work dumber”. The point is to work differently in a way that helps you specifically.

Stop trying to remember to take your keys when you leave the house and get a lanyard and hang them on the doorknob; if you lose them a lot, hang the lanyard around your neck when you leave the house.

Stop pretending you’ll remember to scoop the litterbox every night and set an alarm that tells you to do it. Or don’t, that works for me but might not for you! Maybe you have to put the litterbox somewhere you’ll see it right before bed (I ALSO do this for the days I turn off the alarm and then promptly forget it happened).

There are phone charging cords in every room of my home so that I never run down my phone battery, something that is mildly inconvenient to have happen but deeply anxiety-inducing to think about for me. And now I never worry.

The point is, don’t ask how you can do better at something, ask how you can make something easier for you.

Even rewiring your brain to ask the question is a learned skill, though. You have to consciously stop when you find something is fighting you and consciously think, how can this be easier for my specific brain? If we assume I am not stupid but am in fact fighting an invisible monster, how do I make the monster visible?

Life became roughly 60% easier for me when I started thinking this way. Of all the tips for time management and list making and organizing and de-organizing you can try and implement, none of that is necessary if you know how to ask yourself, “How do I do this differently?” and come up with alternatives that suit your brain.

Especially with neurodivergence, there’s no “one size fits all” when it comes to handling it, neurologically or emotionally. So I think that it’s important to be a little bit punk rock. Not necessarily in the way of defying authority but in the way of defying convention -- the ability to say “fuck you” to the Way Things Are Done and do one’s own thing is very liberating and healthy. You lose a lot of the benefits of creative problem solving if you’re also ashamed of the solutions. So I think the best trick I know of to succeed despite unmedicated ADHD is just to say “fuck you, there must be an easier way to do this.”

I’m garbage at cleaning my home (I can say that because I’m not only calling myself garbage, I’m using “I’m bad at this” as a stepping stone to solving the problem, and then I no longer feel like garbage and can joke about it with a healthy ego). I vacuum regularly and do the dishes and such but like...I don’t scrub the floors or dust or wash out the bathtub. That’s part of why I do November Cleaning -- so that at least once a year those things, that I never want to do but always think I should do, get done, but only have to be done once and at a specific designated time. So now if the bathroom floor is a bit grimy in the corners I just think, “Ah -- that’s for November” and add it to my November Cleaning list.

For my friend who struggles with communication, which is something I also used to really struggle with (and still do in some ways), one of my “make stuff easier” techniques for this was simply to...tell people.

“Hey, I tend to talk really fast when I get excited, so please tell me if I need to slow down.”

“Sorry, I have some hearing issues, I may ask you to repeat something -- it’s fine just to do it slower, I don’t need louder.”

“I’m upset and struggling, I need a minute.” (or even just “Hey where’s the bathroom?” so you can sit quietly for a moment and gather your thoughts. If you’re too upset to talk, it also helps to type them out, which I often do.)

If someone tells me something I want to remember, I’ll get out my phone and say “Sorry, I’m still listening, but I want to write that down so I won’t forget it.” I do all my writing-things-down in Google Tasks, then once I’m somewhere quiet and private I review the notes and move stuff that isn’t actually “to do” to another list. Sometimes I’ll tell someone “I’m so sorry, you just said something and I totally missed it, but it’s important to me -- can you repeat it?”

Most people find that kind of honesty, where you’re open about why you’re maybe talking at cross-purposes, really charming. It indicates that you think they are important, and you’re putting in effort to hear what they’re saying and respond to it thoughtfully.

I hope this is helpful in finding ways around some basic problems, rather than through them -- that being able to stop and think “This could be easier -- how?” is something that people can internalize and make use of. Going around a mountain rather than through it might look like it’ll take more time and energy, but it beats trying to punch through granite the whole way there.

#sam has adhd

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st4rgzer · 4 months

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FIREWORKS (matt sturniolo)

summary: fireworks aren’t your best friend but Matt’s knowledge of this helps you greatly when they unexpectedly happen.

genre: fluff, a bit of angst

cw!: fireworks if that wasn’t evident, kissing, crowds, use of “y/n” female pronouns.

a/n: kind of long but I hope you like it! (a bit inspired by my conversation with @eyelessdemon last night)

“love, the party is at 8, it’s currently 7:30, are you ready yet?” Matt’s eyes searched my face for any sort of answer as I rapidly put makeup products on my face. I was already rushing so it wasn’t necessarily the best time to remind me of the few minutes I had to get ready.

“Matt, I love you, so for your sake I won’t answer till im ready and don’t have increasing anxiety!” I cautioned, advising him so I wouldn’t end up shouting at him or saying some pressured snarky response, in order for both of our sanity’s to remain intact.

The party, as Matt reminded me, was at 8, and we were already quite late. Turns out we overslept and there was some kind of surprise so it was important to be punctual.

Some minutes, which felt like seconds, passed. Me and Matt were finally able to get in the car, fasten our seatbelts, and head to the party.

I checked myself in the car mirror, reapplying some lipgloss and pushing my lashes up. I huffed, still frazzled by the prior event that felt like being in hell’s kitchen.

“you look beautiful, really, it’s a talent to be able to get ready in so little time” Matt laid his hand on mine, grabbing it reassuringly, trying to ease the anxiety he was aware I got, in any way he knew how to.

“thank you” I smiled at him and planted a kiss on his palm, earning a slight flush in his cheeks from him.

We approached the party with intertwined hands. I took in the view of what seemed to be, more than 100 people, quite anxiously. Everyone seemed to be influencers or content creators. I tugged on Matts arm gently and nodded towards the backyard, where it seemed to be less crowded.

“y/n! you both made it finally” Nicks familiar voice put me slightly at ease, relieved to have at least some tranquility in knowing other people.

“yeah it took sometime but we’re here!” The nerves were evident in my voice, thankfully, the music was loud enough for it to be quickly overlooked.

As the party went on, it got easier, Matt’s figure always looming over me gave me a sense of security, latching onto him when I felt uneasy.

“are you ok?” He whispered, planting a soft kiss on the top of my head, and rubbing patterns on the small of my back.

“yes, surprisingly, this is fun” I smiled up at him. Trying not to think much about the blasting music, distracting lights, and 50 conversations going on at the same time around me.

Our conversation was interrupted by a group of friends telling us we had to go outside. There was a pretty big crowd outside, but if something fun was happening, why would we want to miss out.

Matt’s arm was wrapped around my waist, guiding me through the crowd.

The commotion began to calm down, lights of blue, yellow, purple, and pink illuminated the sky, but the bangs also started.

As soon as the first firework was launched, Matt looked down at me with worrying eyes. He knew I hated them, he had recollection of me having negative reactions towards them. So he almost instantly took action.

His hand found mine and grabbed it tightly. One of my hands covering my ear. He led us through the crowd once again, to the inside of the house. I had my eyes squinted, and my brows furrowed as the fireworks continued to go off, on top of the screeches of everyone watching.

Once we got inside of a room in the house, Matt let go, only to engulf me in a hug immediately after.

“im so sorry, if I knew there were going to be fireworks, I never would’ve brought you out” He stumbled over his words, trying to justify the things he had no control over.

“it’s okay, im okay, I promise” I said, slightly shaken up, but in a much more calmer state after Matt’s reaction, too distracted by my thoughts of wanting to marry him instantly, to process how stressful the prior situation was.

He paused, removing himself from the hug, taken back by my casual reaction, unsure of my words.

“are you sure? like, for real?” He said, cautiously.

I laughed at his untrusting expression, and nodded with a smile. Cupping his jaw and leaning into him, placing a soft kiss on his lips, and grabbing his hand.

“yes, very sure. Only because of you, so, thank you” He smiled at me in adoration and returned the kiss.

We both stayed there a while, watching the fireworks from the window, minus the noise. My head on Matt’s shoulder as he ran his fingers through my hair, and held me just a little tighter every now and then when a louder firework sounded.

Quietly waiting. I yawned as the time went by, resting my eyes “for a few moments” Who cares about fireworks when you have Matt Sturniolo?

a/n: kind of rushed and low key hate it but i’ll try to come up with something tomorrow😭

taglist: @dwntwn-strnlo @gabbylovesreading @lovelysturniolo @ssturniolo @eyelessdemon @stvrni0lo @strniolo @sturniolol

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo fanfiction #matt sturniolo image #matt sturniolo fluff #chris sturniolo

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coallise · 2 months

Text

They're coming

Zestial is having a nice walk when he stumbles on a pregnant sinner in labor.

I pulled it from my meh section. I figured it was fun enough to share.

Life was cruel, and hell moreso. Yet there were moments Zestial was shocked at how cruel. He was taking a late night walk when he saw her. A pregnant woman who was struggling. Dirt and blood matted her white hair, her clothes torn to shreds. Yet the fire in her eyes was still burning like an inferno.

Zestial raised his cloak and then dropped it so the pair were in his apartment.

“What do- ah,” The woman clutched her stomach.

“Is thou alright?” Zestial asked, suddenly wondering if he should have brought her to Rosie and not his apartment. The blood, however, might have set her subjects off.

“They’re coming,” she panted.

“I will fight them off.”

“No, tonto, the baby is coming,” she whimpered. Zestial froze before grabbing his phone. He called Rosie three times before she answered.

“Zestial? It's three in the morning?”

“Apologies, I have a woman in my apartment.”

“...is your love life so bad that you want to brag about it?”

“She is having a baby.”

“In your apartment?”

“Correct, what do I do?”

“Ok, first, towels, warm water and make sure there's no fabric stopping the baby from coming out, I will be there as fast as I can.”

Zestial grabbed the supplies Rosie asked for. The woman was a bit kicky when he was trying to remove her clothes. Rosie was still in her sleepwear when she finally came. She ordered Zestial around, eventually handing him a light skinned baby with a tuff of blond hair.

“Hold on, there's a second,” Rosie said, and he found himself holding a darker skinned one with a curly white tuff.

“Enchanting,” Zestial whispered, both babies snoozing on his chest as Rosie cleaned up the woman.

“Ok, Zestial, who is she and how did this happen? Last I checked, you’re a sinner, so they're not yours,” Rosie sighed.

“My name is Carmilla, he found me in an alley,” the woman said, groaning as she sat up, “I would like to hold my children.”

Zestial wasn’t paying attention to the adult girls, he was fully in love with the two on his chest. Rosie came over and plucked them off, “hey!”

“Carmilla wants to hold them, why don't you find some manners and make some food? I bet the poor girl is starving,” Rosie ordered.

“Pray tell, where do I buy formula at this hour?” Zestial asked.

“Food for US, not the babies,” Rosie sighed, “at least you know you're in good hands.”

“I still have no clue who either of you are,” Carmilla smiled at her babies.

“Well judging by his reaction, you’re going to learn who we are,” Rosie smiled at the babies, “what are their names?”

“I think I’ll name them Clara and Odette.”

//////

Zestial had learned a lot since Carmilla started to live with him, one of the things was when their daughters were nervous or uncomfortable. Odette showed her telltale signs of distress, like chewing on anything and everything.

“Mine dear,” Zestial said, causing the young girl to jump. They were in her lab, Zestial sitting in one of the chairs, a pot of tea and two cups out, “tell me, what ails thee?”

“Huh? Oh nothing, daddy,” Odette smiled. Zestial raised a brow, she only used ‘daddy’ when she was hiding something.

“Fear not, whatever ails thee, we can face together,” Zestial nudged the chair in front of him. Odette sighed and grabbed a paper from her desk before sitting down.

“Ok, so you know how I wanted to see what our blood types were?” Odette started, tearing the corner of the paper. Zestial nodded, “Me, Clara, and mom all have type O, you have AB.”

“And that troubles thee?” Zestial took a sip of tea.

“An AB can not, like a negative zero percent chance, produce an O baby. It means, well it means mom cheated on you,” Odette closed her eyes, only to open them when Zestial started to laugh.

“Apologies, mine dear, I was not aware thou assumed I was thine sire. Nay, thou sees, I am a sinner, and sinners can not have children of their own.” Zestial rubbed her arm before pulling her into a hug.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” all of Odette’s stress melted off. The fear of a fight and breakup becoming a distant memory.

“Never relevant, I suppose. Thou is mine daughter, blood or nay, and the same to Clara.” Zestial hummed a song, running his fingers through her hair.

He remembered meeting Carmilla, the woman was bruised, bloody and in labor in an alleyway. He took her to his apartment where she had twins right on his floor. His plan was originally to help her get on her feet and send her off, maybe pass her over to Rosie, but one look at the two newborns and he was snared.

“Do you know who our sire is?” Odette asked.

“Nay, does it matter?”

“No, I guess not.”

Clara came in, asking about some tests on the latest weapons when she saw them, “did you tell him?”

“Yeah, apparently he knew from the beginning and just never told us.”

#carmilla carmine #hazbin carmilla #hazbin rosie #hazbin zestial #zestmilla

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envy-of-the-apple · 2 months

Note

That what if when ms. moon already has a family but has to leave because of him is so HEARTBREAKING. Imagine moving on from a tramatic situation, meeting the love of your life, having a wonderful kid for all that to just get squashed in a instant. That literally had me about to tear up but imagine her kid was a bit older lets say like 10 (i know the math doesnt add up well with the timeline but its a what if)and then she just has to leave, that alone would greatly negatively impact the kid, just leaving a lasting mark. Maybe the kid would remember gojo’s face and resent him for the rest of their life.

The husband thing is equally as sad because I imagine ms.moon as shes about to leave crying and whispering how much she loves him and that shes so sorry. (Bonus heartbreak points they all breakdown as shes about to leave and she cant even hug or kiss them goodbye because shes being watched). After this incident ms.moon’s pervious family completes spiral down the drain and moon’s mental state goes down the drain with it

In conclusion amazing story but that shit was sad as fuck but I still eat it up with silverware and all

(merging multiple SEM asks cuz i feel so guilty for clogging up ppls dashes lmao)

ughhhh anytime kids are involved it just gets way more depressing, right? It think age 8-10 is like the worst time for this to this to happen because the kid can understand little, but not enough to get the whole picture.

The kid knows that their mom is leaving, but they aren't seeing the wavering tears in Ms.moon's eyes, the shaky hands, as you hug them for the last time. All that they can see is the fancy new car your new lover sits in. The grand ring that sits on your finger. Yeah, your kid will hate gojo for ripping apart your family.

But they'll hate you more, considering you're running off with a man who has more money than their father.

I think the only upside is that gojo might not bat an eye if you send money back to your family, keeping them comfortable. With enough pleading, he might pull a few string to get your kid into a good school. With your indirect help, your kid will have the best education and prosperity. Them resenting you is a pretty small price to pay, right?

in the fic, the case took about three weeks, so it took three weeks for gojo to just snap.

He would definetly try to toy with ms.moon for as long as he can. Despite claiming that he forgave ms.moon, he does carry a tiny bit of resentment. It's kind of a punishment, in that sense.

And honestly the moment he figures out you who are, I doubt you'd have a chance to run anymore. The reason why Ms.moon was able to 'get away' the first time was because gojo was still a teenager, hier of the gojo conglomerate, but still not powerful yet. Now, he has tons of resources available for him. You're not getting away lmao, I think that's why he's so much at ease this time around.

I never really considered the family's response. their reactions is something I'm not really interested in exploring. i don't think they got any characterization other than 'housewife mom' and 'dad who works'. I don't really think ms.moon would even mention gojo's torment to them. It'd be embarrassing, knowing that some kid the same age as you is just lording over your life, right? I did mention that Gojo confronts your family in EKM, but I don't like that addition now, so I'm retconning it. I feel like they'd find out just like everyone else did: From the media. Everyone in your little town knew who the Gojo was, but the fact that their kid is getting married to one of them has so be surprising.

But then again, not something im interested in exploring

If Gojo had managed to find Ms. Moon before, things would certainly have been much different. The gojo now has 'cooled down' and is far less volatile. If they had met again, if they were in their early twenties....things would not be much different from his high school counterpart.

#SEM #dark content #yandere jjk #dark jjk #dark gojo satoru #yandere gojo satoru

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cherienymphe · 1 year

Text

Amnesiac XII (Rafe Cameron x Reader x JJ Maybank)

WARNINGS: NON-CON, violence, mentions of past assault, underage drinking, drug use, non canon ages, kook!reader

➥ banner by @maysdigitalarts | divider by @firefly-graphics

➥ series masterlist

summary: “There’s something wrong with your love story, baby…”

After a surfing accident leaves you with little to no memory of everything that happened before that day, you start to wonder if the blond in what little memories you do have is the same one who claims to be your boyfriend.

“Sarah, it’s fine,” you told her. “Really.”

The blonde girl didn’t look so convinced, grimacing at the dark coloring on your neck that you were desperately trying to cover up. The incident had happened a week ago, but she still looked rightfully horrified. You knew that it wasn’t just the bruises or what had happened but more importantly who had done it.

“I understand why you never told me,” she had murmured later that night.

JJ had been searching your bathroom for some cream while she sat with you on your bed, holding some ice to your skin.

“I mean…Rafe’s always been Rafe, you know? But…”

She had looked down, eyes troubled.

“I still love-loved him. He’s my brother, and no one wants to think someone they know is capable of something like that.”

There had been a beat of silence.

“How do you even begin to tell me something like that?”

She had shrugged just as JJ stepped out of your bathroom, worriedly brushing his fingers over your skin. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t be in attendance tonight, Sarah helping you with your hair as you applied makeup to your neck. With all of your memories back, you recalled how often your mother threw senseless dinner parties. It always was nothing more than an excuse to show off to the other wives of Figure 8, and tonight would be no different.

In truth, you wanted to be anywhere but here. Of course, now, with all of your memories back, you remembered perfectly well what she was like, so you weren’t surprised at her lack of reaction with the return of your memories. A simple hum had been good enough for her, and you could only assume she had at least mentioned it to your father in passing seeing as he never acknowledged it, at all.

“She was very adamant about my being present, tonight, and we both know why.”

Sarah softly exhaled at that.

“I’ll always be just something to make them look good,” you murmured, putting your beauty blender down.

You would’ve skipped out on this farce entirely, but your mother had had one of her scarily strict moments where she’d made it clear under no uncertain terms that you were to be here. When you asked if Sarah could at least be present, her enthusiasm should’ve been your first clue that the night was going to go horribly wrong.

“What-what do you mean?”

You watched your mother put the finishing touches on the table, setting out charcuterie boards and champagne glasses. She was oblivious to your distress.

“I’ve been friends with Rose for years as you now well remember, so I don’t understand this attitude.”

You resisted the urge to huff, your stomach churning.

“…but why does Rafe have to come too?”

She turned to look at you with a deep frown.

“He is your boyfriend,” she pointedly said. “Why would I not make it clear to Rose that I want him in attendance?”

This time you did huff, blinking back tears and swallowing down any negative emotions that came up at the mention of Rafe.

“Rafe and I broke up,” you lied, ignoring the look on her face. “…and let’s just say it ended really bad.”

You watched as your mother rolled her eyes, waving you off.

“You kids are so young,” she chuckled. “You only just started dating. You’ll be back together in another month or so.”

You clenched your jaw, glaring at her.

“You’re not hearing me, another annoying habit of yours that I unfortunately remember.”

At this, she stopped to turn and frown at you, a hand on her hip.

“Rafe is not a good guy. He’s not, and I can guarantee you that I will not be getting back together with him. Ever.”

“Now, you’re just being ridiculous. You and him have been the best of friends forever. Whatever happened, I’m sure you’ll get through it-.”

“We won’t,” you interrupted.

You were so tempted to scream in her face that Rafe was a psychotic rapist who snorted coke more than she snorted Xanax.

“You’ve always been so dramatic,” you heard her mumble as she turned away, hands raised. “Whatever…whatever. All I know is that he is coming tonight, and I do expect you to at least be cordial. I mean, he looked after you so well with your accident and all, for God’s sake.”

Her words made your chest tighten, and you had to physically fight to keep from vomiting. Rafe had not ‘taken care’ of you. He had taken advantage of you, and your lost memories, playing out the fantasy he’d been dreaming about for years. He had violated both your mind and body in ways that your mother wouldn’t even be able to comprehend, and that was why you gave a bitter chuckle.

“Fuck you,” you breathed.

She spun around to stare you down with wide eyes, shocked.

“Excuse me?”

“I am your daughter, and I am telling you that Rafe is not good. Not just for me, but for anyone, but me especially,” you choked out. “I’m telling you that he hurt me, and your response to that is how dramatic I’m being? Your response is to tell me to be cordial?”

She opened her mouth, but you wouldn’t let her speak.

“You have no idea what Rafe is like,” you whispered. “You don’t know what he put me through.”

“Y/N-.”

“You’ve always kissed his ass,” you spat. “I remember that above all else, and since you think he’s so great, why don’t you date him instead?”

She didn’t have a response, simply snapping her mouth shut in shock. You brushed past her, taking the stairs two at a time and running into Sarah at the top. Her eyes were wide, clearly having heard everything, and she didn’t seem shocked to see you putting on some shoes.

“I take it we’re not staying,” she said, putting on her shoes too.

You looked around, quickly grabbing your old backpack.

“I knew that coming back for even a night or two was a bad idea,” you quietly said, grabbing some clothes from your closet. “I can’t stay here.”

It went unsaid, but it was clear that you planning to leave for good. You noticed that Sarah was on her phone, no doubt texting Kie, and you grabbed everything you thought you’d need. She eventually helped you, and it was only when you noticed her own necklace dangling from her neck did you pause.

“What? What is it?”

“JJ said he was going to make me another one, but… I left the necklace he gave me at your house.”

Sarah worried her lip, nodding.

“I mean, Rafe won’t be home…”

That reminder made your shoulders ease, and you nodded. You didn’t bother sneaking out, casually walking out of your house through the front door. You could hear your mother in the kitchen, and you didn’t care if she heard you leaving or not. Kie shook her head as you approached her car.

“Why you even bother coming back, I’ll never know,” she said. “You never stay on this side of the island for more than a few days.”

“Blame Mrs. Y/L/N,” Sarah grumbled as she slid into the backseat. “You know her and her dinner parties.”

“She was really mad when she thought I wouldn’t be coming,” you told Kie. “…but then I realized why.”

Kie glanced at you, pulling onto the road.

“She invited Rafe.”

Kie looked appropriately horrified at that.

“You should’ve seen Y/N. She told her to fuck off and everything. It was great.”

Sarah laughed to herself.

“Well, that kind of explains why we’re going to Sarah’s house, I guess,” Kie mused.

“I left JJ’s necklace there,” you told her. “…and the house will be empty, so I won’t have to make JJ go through the trouble of making another one.”

Kie didn’t respond to that, and when you glanced over, she was smiling at you.

“What? What…?” you repeated when she didn’t say anything.

She just shook her head.

“You guys are just so cute,” she said. “I know you had your reasons, but I wish you had told us sooner. I would’ve loved teasing JJ so much about it.”

You rolled your eyes.

Now that you and JJ were out and in the open with your relationship, you felt like something akin to a newborn baby being brought home. If Pope wasn’t looking at you two with a dopey smile then it was Sarah. Or it was Kie asking if you two wanted anything from the fridge, continuously glancing over her shoulder as she walked away. Or even John B. asking if you wanted to spend the night in the van when JJ’s dad was around and you didn’t want to be anywhere near Figure 8.

“Trying to get him to even talk to you was like pulling teeth,” Sarah chimed in. “…and now he’s going out of his way to fight my brother over your honor.”

The car grew quiet at the mention of Rafe, and Kie’s voice was low when she spoke.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna…go to the police? At least for your neck,” she gestured. “The bruises are still there, and we all saw him.”

“Yeah, I don’t care if he’s my brother, Y/N. I’ll happily tell them how awful he is.”

You had thought about it a lot, especially when JJ was begging you in the darkness of his room. Your head had been resting on his chest as his fingers danced over your arms, his heartbeat hadn’t been as steady as you would’ve liked.

“I don’t think I’ll be okay until I know he can’t get to you anymore,” he had whispered. “A restraining order…jail…”

He had trailed off, not saying what he had said earlier in the night. The words had shocked you for more reasons than one because while JJ was impulsive and a little rough around the edges, he wasn’t a killer. You could never imagine him killing anyone, and even if he could surprise you, even if he did have it in him, you wouldn’t want him to.

Both the memory of JJ’s words and the feel of Rafe’s hands around your neck had kept you up that night.

“Part of me wants to just to keep JJ from doing anymore stupid shit…”

You all hopped out of Kie’s car, a sigh of relief escaping you at the sight of an empty yard and clearly empty house.

“…but another part of me just wants to avoid Rafe for the rest of my life without a fuss. You know he’ll put up a fight, and-.”

You cut yourself off, biting your lip.

“Ward and he might fight, but that’s still his son. He’d absolutely try to protect him against me.”

You leaned against the house as Sarah opened the door. Neither she or Kie said anything to that because they knew you were right. You visibly shuddered when Sarah flipped the light on, and you took in the house. You hadn’t been back since that night, another night in which Rafe had his hands around your throat.

Sometimes you wondered what might’ve happened if you hadn’t spoken to JJ at Midsummers. You wondered if your memories would’ve come back much later…or if they even would’ve come back, at all. JJ was connected to a lot of lifechanging moments, so you supposed it made sense that being around him more would make you remember so much more, or in this case, everything.

“It’s in the guest room,” you told Kie as you both walked up the stairs. “I had brought this little jewelry box from my room with random stuff in it, and it was there.”

Upon stepping inside, she helped you search for it. Considering that you didn’t want to be in this house any longer than you had to be, you wanted to get this over with. After several minutes of searching, you realized that it wasn’t in here.

“What?” Kie asked as you paused, a frown on your face.

“It’s not here.”

“Where-.”

“It’s in Rafe’s room,” you sighed in realization, more to yourself than her.

Kie’s silence was loud, and she looked like she wanted to speak up in worry for you when you shook your head.

“It’s fine, I… Let’s just find it and go,” you hurried out, rushing down the hall.

Your stomach twisted the moment you set a foot into his room, memories of his lips on yours and his hands on you bombarding your mind. It was times like this where you were grateful for Rafe’s cleanliness because it made it easier to find what you were looking for. There, on his nightstand was the box, but when you opened it…the necklace was gone.

“Asshole,” you whispered to yourself.

“What? It’s not there?”

Before you could answer, you both heard the door slamming shut downstairs. Your heart skipped a beat, and you were just about to tell yourself to calm down when Sarah spoke…loudly.

“What are you doing here?”

“I live here, in case you forgot.”

Rafe’s voice traveling from downstairs made you shudder, and you and Kie froze, looking to each other with wide eyes. You grabbed the box, prepared to run out and into another room when you heard him coming up the stairs. You could hear Sarah trying to stop him, distract him.

“I’m not in the mood, okay?”

The irritation in his voice was evident.

“I thought…I thought Mrs. Y/L/N was throwing some dinner thing. I thought you were going…”

There was a brief pause, and you could almost imagine Rafe looking her over.

“I thought you were too…then I get there and neither you or Y/N is there,” he replied.

The knowledge that he had only gone to see you terrified you, and you slowly cracked his door open, looking down the hall and seeing both him and Sarah right at the top of the stairs. Your eyes briefly met hers over his shoulder, and you closed the door back, feeling like you were going to be sick. You turned to see Kie trying to get his window open, but she was having a hard time, and your panic grew.

“Where’s Kie?” you heard Rafe ask.

Sarah hesitated before replying.

“What?”

“That’s her car outside…so where is she?”

The girl in question quietly cursed when the window wouldn’t budge, and you looked around.

“She’s in my bathroom.”

Rafe didn’t respond to that, and impulsively, Kie pushed you down towards his bed as she ran for his closet. You struggled to crawl under, pulling your feet under just before his door opened. Your eyes were wide, never having thought you’d not only be in here again, but also be this close to him again.

You could hear him walking around, angrily ripping off his nice shirt, tossing it to the floor in front of you. You turned your head, watching his every move and feeling like your heart was about to leap out of your throat. You flinched when he momentarily sat on his bed, the mattress dipping a bit, and you pressed your hand to your mouth.

You only felt relief when he stood and made his way to the bathroom, starting the shower. Even when the door closed, you didn’t completely relax, not until Kie was hurrying out of the closet and helping you out from under his bed. The necklace wasn’t even on your mind as you both ran out of his room.

Sarah exhaled in relief when she spotted you both. None of you said a word as you hurried down the stairs, desperate to get as far away from this house as possible. You made it to the yard when Sarah finally spoke.

“I swear to God, he has the worst timing,” she complained, making it to Kie’s car.

She turned to say something else but cut herself off with a startled shriek. You barely had time to turn around before a hand was grasping your arm and yanking you towards the last person you wanted to see. He didn’t look damp, at all, and you had to wonder when he figured out that it wasn’t just Kie who was also in his house.

“Rafe,” Kie screamed as he pulled you towards his truck.

It was three against one, Sarah and Kie fighting to get him to let you go while you pulled against him, but you didn’t know if it was the testosterone or the kind of strength that only cokeheads possessed as he dragged you along the grass with ease. Your feet dug into the ground to no avail, and you gasped when he slammed you against his truck.

“Y/N and I are just going to go for a little drive,” he bit out, opening the passenger door.

“Rafe-.”

You swallowed your words when his hand gripped your throat, and Kie and Sarah only paused when he shook you.

“Touch me…and I’ll break her neck. I promise you, I will,” he sneered, glaring over his shoulder at his sister.

She looked like she wanted to say something, probably something in protest, but considering that she’d witnessed him trying to kill you before, you could see the doubt in her tearful eyes.

“Rafe,” she eventually whispered. “Let her go…and we can all just talk right here.”

“I don’t want to talk to either of you,” he said. “I want to talk to her.”

He was looking at you, now, and you swallowed under the icy chill of his stare. His pupils were blown, and you guessed that he’d snorted something before driving over here. The silence was loud and thick with tension, all of you trying to gage his next move…but it was Rafe.

He was never predictable.

You slowly reached up to touch the hand on your throat, surprised that Rafe let you peel it away.

“Call the police,” you forced out, and Rafe chuckled.

He found that amusing for some reason as he forced you inside. You looked between Sarah and Kie, trying to reassure them that you were going to be okay.

“Just call the police,” you repeated.

You watched Sarah take out her phone to do just that, and you and Kie shared a look as she took out her phone too. You didn’t agree with it, but you couldn’t expect her to just not call JJ. Smarter than you gave him credit for, Rafe climbed across you to get into the driver’s seat, a hand still on your wrist as he closed your door and locked the vehicle.

You didn’t know if you just felt that there was nothing else Rafe could do to scare you, or if you were just numb for the time being. His hand was tight on your wrist, and you worriedly looked out of the window as he recklessly pulled out of the yard.

“I didn’t want to believe it before, but I definitely do now…”

He chuckled to himself.

“You think I’m stupid.”

“I-.”

“Come on. Neither you or Sarah are at your house where you’re supposed to be, and I’m expected to believe it’s just her and Kie in the house?”

You didn’t say anything to that.

“Let me guess…you were looking for this?”

He let you go to reach into his glove compartment, pulling out a familiar necklace. You bristled at the sight of it, hurriedly catching it when he literally smacked you in the face with it.

“Here,” he spat. “At least you can say your trip wasn’t in vain.”

You bit the inside of your cheek, glaring at your former best friend.

“What do you want?”

He glanced at you as he flew down the road, and you thought to yourself how you’d probably die almost instantly if you tried to jump out.

“You know what I want,” he mumbled, blue eyes looking out the windshield now. “What I’ve always wanted.”

“…and you got what you wanted,” you said through clenched teeth. “Several times over.”

Rafe looked at you with wide eyes, and you noticed that he was watching the road less and less. You didn’t even know where he was taking you.

“You think…you think I just wanted sex from you?”

He let out a dry laugh, rubbing his nose as he looked between you and the road.

“If I just wanted sex from you, I could’ve drugged you years ago,” he said, making your heart sink. “I could’ve gotten you so drunk, you wouldn’t have been able to walk.”

You swallowed.

“You know how easy it would’ve been to just fuck you? Huh?”

You watched the way his fingers tapped against his steering wheel.

“God knows I’ve had ample opportunity!”

“Rafe-.”

“I love you.”

You didn’t have a response to that, and he frantically blinked, glassy eyes focused on the road.

“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember…”

“That’s not love.”

“…and JJ…JJ didn’t even like you.”

You glanced away.

“He thought you were some spoiled privileged rich bitch that didn’t belong on his side of the island!”

He laughed, and it lacked humor. It was wracked with bitterness.

“…and he is who you want?”

His eyes were wide as he said this, face incredulous.

“Maybe I should’ve treated you like something on the bottom of my shoe, and you would’ve fallen for me too.”

“That is not-.”

“Maybe spoiling you and taking care of you and treating you like you meant something to me was the wrong thing to do.”

“You didn’t do any of that to be genuine, Rafe! I was never your friend,” you told him. “You never saw me as a friend, and you know it.”

“What does it matter? I would’ve given you anything you wanted.”

“Except a genuine friendship, right? I wanted to be just friends…and you denied me that, so at least be honest, Rafe.”

His skin strained over his knuckles as he gripped the wheel.

“You weren’t content with just being my friend,” you whispered. “…and you tried to rape me, tried to claim me as yours anyway. That’s not love.”

You watched his jaw clenched.

“You took advantage of my accident…you violated my mind and body. You lied to me and manipulated me.”

Now, it was your turn to let out a sour chuckle.

“You tried to kill me.”

You were looking directly at him, now, a bitter smile on your lips.

“That’s not love, Rafe.”

“You don’t get to tell me how I feel,” he snarled, his booming voice filling the car as his fingers brushed his chest.

“Your actions tell me, Rafe! Nothing about what you’ve done to me screams ‘love’. I would lay off the coke and weed if I were you,” you threw at him, glancing around. “Where are you even taking me? You have to be stupid if you think Kie wasn’t going to follow you.”

He genuinely laughed this time, and the look he gave you made you grow cold.

“I wonder how far she could really get without a stupid spark plug.”

You face fell, and you glanced behind you to see nothing but a dark road. There were no lights, not even a hint of a car without them on. What little confidence you had was now gone. It was getting late, and you didn’t know what Sarah had told the police, if they would even take her seriously. You knew that Kie had called JJ, but what did any of that even mean when no one knew where Rafe was taking you?

You reached for the wheel, stomach lurching when the truck swerved. Rafe yelled at you, but you knew that Rafe either had to stop the truck or risk killing you both.

“Fuck,” he cursed as the truck swerved again, hitting the wheel as it ran off the road.

You jerked when he slammed on breaks, and the strap of your dress ripped when he reached for you. He screamed your name as you practically fell out of the truck, taking off into the night. It wasn’t long before you heard him running after you, and you almost fell when you ran out of your heels.

You didn’t realize how close you were to the beach, stumbling when the soles of your feet met sand. Your vision was blurring with tears, and you could hear Rafe getting closer. You yelped when you felt him grab your dress, your other strap snapping, and you fell into the dirt under his weight. It was a struggle, but Rafe flipped you onto your back, and you retaliated by spitting in his face. Rafe grabbed your shoulders, jerking you and slamming you against the sand, and stars danced in your vision.

Your fight was frantic, heart racing in your chest. You were reminded of that night outside of his house, how helpless you felt while pinned between him and the wall. It was much like how you felt now, pinned between him and the ground. It was obvious to you what Rafe was trying to do, again, and this wouldn’t be like your ‘relationship’.

There wouldn’t be feigned romance or gentleness. You weren’t manipulated into thinking this was your loving boyfriend who only wanted to be with you. There was no wool over your eyes about who was on top of you. This was Rafe Cameron, your former best friend, your tormenter, the guy who’d proven that he didn’t care who he had to hurt to get what he wanted.

Rafe let out a pained huff when your knee came up between his legs, but even though his hold loosened, he didn’t let you go entirely. You struggled to turn over and crawl away, hissing in pain as Rafe’s nails dug into your legs, literally clawing at you to drag you back. Your fingers left lines in the sand as he did, and the sob you’d been trying to hold in finally escaped.

His hand slid under your neck, holding you to him and choking you. His other fumbled between you, and every time you tried to move away, his fingers pressed into your throat, making you wince. Your feet kicked and strained, desperately trying to get out from underneath him.

“Stop,” he hissed at you. “Stop fighting-.”

“Get…off,” you gasped out. “Rafe, get off-.”

You swallowed the rest of your words, squeezing your eyes shut when he pushed his way into you. You both gasped for different reasons, and your nails dug into the sand as he pressed a hand into your back, holding you in place while he thrust into you. Your forehead grazed the sand, and you clenched your jaw when Rafe’s face fell into the crook of your neck.

“See how perfectly we fit together?”

You swallowed, tears spilling over.

“She’s clinging to me,” he whispered, grinding against you. “She doesn’t want to let go.”

The sting of his thrusts eased, your body involuntarily warming up to his ministrations. You could barely see a foot in front of you you were crying so much, but Rafe didn’t seem to care. His hand remained on your neck, keeping you in place while he fucked you.

“I know JJ doesn’t fuck you like this,” he breathed, pressing open mouth kisses to your neck. “I know he doesn’t.”

Rafe rolled onto his side, taking you with him, and the hand at your throat slid down to your waist, fingers pressing into it. His other pulled your dress down, fondling you and massaging you while pushing his cock into you at an agonizingly slow pace. Your nails dug into his skin, and your tears ran past your ear and into the sand.

He groped you, teeth biting into your shoulder and neck. Every attempt to get away was unsuccessful, and your stomach clenched with every thrust. Rafe’s forehead pressed to your back, and you shuddered.

“I’m not wrong,” he panted, pushing his cock up into you. “I’m not wrong to take what’s mine.”

#dark!rafe cameron x reader #dark!rafe cameron #rafe cameron x kook!reader #rafe cameron x reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x reader #obx fic #outer banks fanfiction

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writer-in-theory · 2 years

Text

two little pink lines — spencer reid

request: Hello, I love your writing! I have a request - a story where spencer and the reader both work at BAU and reader finds out she’s pregnant. Spencer initially is unhappy about it (angst maybe a fight go with whatever feels right!) but when the reader is captured by the unsub he realizes that he actually loves their baby and wants to raise their little family with fluffy ending? summary: when reader finds out they’re about to start a family, spencer does not give the reaction she expects. pairing: spencer reid x pregnant!fem!reader category: angst with happy ending content warnings: discussions of being pregnant, reader kidnapped by unsub, reader restrained using rope word count: 2.2k

summer of fics masterlist masterlist want to join my taglist?

Life doesn’t go the way we plan, not all the time. That doesn’t always mean the deviation is a negative one, though. Sometimes people don’t know what they want until the choice is right there in front of them, and someday they wonder how they could have ever imagined a different life. Spencer would be the first to tell you that—lauding his decision to join the FBI despite growing up always wanting to be a professor.

You wondered what Spencer would say now if he could see the little white stick carrying lines that changed your entire world.

You tried to ignore it for weeks. Maybe it was a false positive, or maybe Spencer would figure it out on his own and you’d never have to tell him. But as time moved on and you began having to get clothing just a little bigger to accommodate the growth you knew it was time to be honest.

Unfortunately, it happened on a case, the moment you felt right telling him.

“Have you told him?” JJ asked when the two of you had gotten back to your shared hotel room after the first night on the case. There hadn’t been many breakthroughs so you were able to leave the station early, giving all of you some semblance of a good night’s rest.

“What? Who?” you asked in return, turning away to start unpacking your go-bag when you saw the look on the other woman’s face.

“Spencer,” JJ explained. “Come on, Y/N, I recognize the signs.”

It should have been terrifying. You’d been desperately trying to hide it, trying not to let anyone know that this miracle was happening when neither of you had planned for it. And yet, the moment those words left JJ’s lips, a surge of pure relief rolled through your body. Your shoulders relaxed maybe for the first time since taking the pregnancy test.

“I know I need to tell him,” you answered, re-folding the clothes that had gotten haphazardly thrown into your bag the last time you’d washed them. “But it’s not like we meant for this to happen. I don’t know how he’ll take it.”

“Will and I didn’t plan for Henry.” You knew that of course, you did when your boyfriend was the godfather to the little boy. That didn’t stop you from feeling like it was somehow different for the two of you, because Spencer was the guy who planned for everything and you seemed to always have a plan in case of emergency. “You’ve seen how Spencer acts with Henry, he’s so good with him.”

“Yeah, but being good with kids doesn’t mean he wants one of his own, especially now,” you sighed, continuing to fold clothes if only to keep your hands from instinctively pulling on your hair. “Hell, we haven’t even talked about marriage or anything yet.”

“Now’s the perfect time to.” JJ offered but thankfully didn’t say anything else about the topic until the two of you were ready for bed. “It’s better to tell him now than panic him later when it’s too late for him to think through the situation. You know Spencer better than anyone else.”

That you did. Which was why you woke up earlier than normal the next day if only to beat everyone else to the station. That is, everyone except your darling boyfriend who liked to have a bit of time alone early in the morning to really dive into the evidence and think things through.

You brought him coffee, for the first time holding onto a juice for yourself and pretending the smell of his coffee didn’t make you jealous. “Good morning, Spencer,” you greeted, thankful your voice didn’t shake to giveaway the nerves kickstarting your entire fight-or-flight response.

You didn’t have to tell him anything. You could tell him but say he doesn’t have to worry about it even when you had no idea how you were going to handle this alone. You could do anything, and yet all you seemed to be capable of at that moment was standing there, hand still slightly outstretched from handing over the coffee cup.

“Are you okay?”

You’d planned a thousand different ways to tell him. There were cutesie things with fun props and silly witty jokes that only he would find funny, even one idea that involved the entire team.

Instead, all you had the strength to do now was say, “Spencer, I’m pregnant.”

If a human being could buffer, then you witnessed it in that moment. Spencer stared at you, unblinking, lips parted and hand quivering so badly you thought for sure the coffee cup held within it would be lost to the shitty carpet under your feet. He grew pale, impossibly pale, and then all of a sudden seemed to reboot with an answer.

“How?” Spencer demanded, beginning to look less shocked and more panicked.

“Well, when two people love each other very much—”

“I know how sex works, Y/N,” Spencer snapped, hands in his hair as he fought to gain control over the situation unfolding around him. “I mean how could you be pregnant? I thought we were careful.”

“I thought we were too,” you answered, trying to keep your voice as gentle as possible if only to keep the local officers on the other side of the conference room wall from thinking anything bad was happening within. “But I took three tests a few weeks ago and all of them came back positive.”

“A few weeks ago? Why didn’t you tell me then?” That was a fair question. It was one that made your cheeks grow warm as you were called out, questioned.

“I wanted to,” you tried to explain, “but I was shocked too. I needed time to figure out what I was going to do before I told you.”

“We can’t have a kid right now.”

“What do you mean?” you asked, a hand immediately flying to your stomach as if to protect the life there from hearing those words. “I know it’s not what we planned, but I know my parents would help babysit when we’re working and w—”

“Y/N, what makes you think I want a baby right now? We work a dangerous job, we’re never home, I can’t do this!”

“Then what do you want me to do? It’s not like I made this happen on purpose!”

“I don’t know, Y/N, maybe you should’ve figured that out before you told me since you spent so many weeks supposedly doing that.” This wasn’t like Spencer. You’d never seen him get this genuinely angry, this upset. Deep down, you knew a lot of it was from the absolute panic of the situation but still, you couldn’t unhear him telling you that, essentially, this was your problem and he didn’t want to have any part of the figuring it out stage.

“Fine, I’ll figure it out on my own,” you snapped, shouldering your bag from its temporary spot on the table and making a quick exit before the rest of the team knew you were even there. Through the tears rapidly forming in your eyes, you were able to send Hotch a quick text letting him know you felt sick and were going to stay in the hotel for the morning to see if it would get better.

You felt your phone buzz against your leg with his reply, but you didn’t have the energy to read it. Instead, you spent time exploring the little town you were stuck in until the case was over.

Most of your cases occurred in small towns, where most people knew their community and could never imagine anyone within it could commit such atrocities against their own. These towns were often the most dangerous to live in, because every wolf wore sheep’s clothing even when they were being questioned by one of the BAU team members trained to see through the disguise.

You were so lost in thought about how terribly the announcement had gone with Spencer, that you missed the man casually walking behind you. It was just some guy from the small town in the middle of nowhere Nebraska, but unknown to you until the very moment he caught up with you that unassuming man was the unsub you’d traveled here to find.

No one ever told you how exhausting being captured was. You’d woken up around mid-day tied to a chair and ever since the man had you, that was where you’d been. Your shoulders began to ache from the awkward stretch of them behind you, and your legs were antsy as they grew far more aware of the fact that you hadn’t been able to move them in a while.

By the next day, you were sure the waiting would be the worst part.

There was no way to tell what the unsub wanted from you, or why. Were you another victim meant to fall to his cruel hands, or did he take you because he knew you were a part of the team sent to catch him?

Either way, with all the time left for you to think, your mind found plenty of new and old regrets to dredge up. Most present in your mind was the fight with Spencer and how horribly your admission had gone. Maybe you should have told him sooner, and given him time to process the information as JJ had suggested. Maybe you shouldn’t have told him while you were on a case, where tensions were running high already.

There were too many ‘what-ifs’, and so little time to fix any of them.

“Drop your weapon!”

The yell came too suddenly, causing you to yelp and jump in your seat as best as you could given the rope tethering you to it. The sound came from upstairs, a familiar shout that could only come from one Emily Prentiss when one of her own was threatened. Sounds of a clear arrest assaulted your ears next until the basement door finally opened, flooding light in and revealing a shadowy figure with curly hair standing at the top of the stairs.

“Spencer,” you called out, voice raspy from the hours without water. You’d tried to call out, to test the sound-proofing capabilities of the room but it hadn’t worked.

“Y/N,” Spencer practically gasped as though he’d gone this time without you also missing any chance at air. “Are you hurt? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

Spencer was on you within a second, long fingers working nervously on the knots keeping your hands locked behind you.

“You know when I imagined me being tied up in a room with you, this isn’t how I thought it would go,” you tried to joke, your tone falling flat amidst the adrenaline drop at the knowledge of rapidly approaching safety. Your body had been trying to keep you alive and alert for well over twenty-four hours, it would make anyone exhausted even without a second life to think about.

“Y/N,” Spencer half-heartedly chastised, audibly sighing with relief as the rope around your wrists finally fell away. He took only a moment to rub life back into them, thumbs ghosting over the rope burn before he moved back around to your front to work on your ankles. “You scared me. I thought...I thought I’d lose the two of you.”

The two of you.

Spencer was scared of losing not just you, but the little baby you’d screamed over the day before. “You were scared for both of us?”

“I’ve always wanted children, Y/N, I just...couldn’t imagine how realistic it would be given my career choice. I needed time to process it, then you were gone and I thought...” There were no words needed to explain the thoughts, the images, that must have run through Spencer’s mind while you were taken.

“It’s okay, I’m okay,” you told him, hands rushing to push back his hair from his face the second they’d stopped trembling.

“We’re okay,” you thought to add a second later, trying to keep your hands on him because you knew the second the paramedics came down the stairs you’d be separated. “We’re okay.”

“It’s going to be difficult. I still don’t know how we’re going to handle it but I do know that we can figure it out together,” Spencer spoke hurriedly, practically in one rushed breath. “I can’t wait to start a family together.”

“I can’t wait for that either,” you spoke like a promise, keeping Spencer’s hand tucked between yours and your stomach until the paramedics asked him to step back, wondering how the case could have started so badly but ended with such a breathtaking moment.

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