#and they can't have that

[furiousgoldfish]

I distinctly remember the times in my young childhood, when I would be somewhere out with my parents in public, and I understood that I was about to have a 'normal' experience. I knew they were unlikely to snap or injure me in a public space, so I'd be allowed to act curious, to walk around, not annoy them with questions, but I could smile and interact with strangers, and they wouldn't get mad. I would liven up and get really happy and try to get the most out of it, one time I even tried to hold my parents hands (I was very small) and they pulled their hands away (I took it too far apparently). I had a great time having those 'normal' experiences, for me they were the only normal I got, and I would hold onto those memories and believe that surely, we were a normal family, I was a child, I had two parents, they were surely taking care of me.

Going home, however, would open up deep dread and sadness inside of me, because I knew things would change as soon as we were inside those 4 walls. They would get mad at me, yell and criticize me, berate me for anything they found annoying earlier, and shout at me until I would be too scared to leave my room. Going home eventually became associated with having a nervous breakdown in the car (silently, of course) and I would be swallowing tears until we reached the house.

I understand now, that the 'normal' times I would get, were the times where they needed to present in public as a normal family, so I was supposed to act like a normal child. I was required to act normal. I understood there was to be zero symptoms of abuse shown in public, and I could not act weird or avoidant, I had to showcase that I was energetic, curious, and happy child.

Since normal and non-hostile family relationship was all I needed, those pretend times seemed real to me, they were essential for me to have a 'normal' experience, to believe that my family is real, that we're okay, that I have parents who to some degree, care about me. Those experiences helped me to believe that. But the spell would be broken as soon as we got home because - my family was abusive. And they felt very free and comfortable to turn back to abuse as soon as we were inside of their house, where they didn't have to pretend they didn't hate me.

If you have experiences with your family that felt good, normal, and like you were getting what you needed for a while - but this spell got broken as soon as you were alone with them, or as soon as they had a bad day, or were frustrated, or angry about something, or as soon as you made a tiny mistake, or annoyed them, there's a chance the normal part was an act to protect their reputation. Good times are not the proof of 'not abusive', they're always there, even the most abusive situation has good times, otherwise nobody would have reason enough to stay.

#child abuse #recognizing abuse #emotional abuse #abusive parents #traumatic childhood #the good times in abuse #bonding moments with abusive parents #mostly in public where abusing a child would make them look bad #sometimes they do privately do something nice when they notice you're aware they absolutely hate you #and they can't have that #they need to have you be naive and thinking everything is for your own good #psychological abuse

[goddessofroyalty]

Did Vi still went to StillWater in your ZaunFamily au? Maybe for a shorter amount of time than the original series (like 1-3 years instead of 7 to 10 years) but I could imagine Vi having a violent/troubled phase (maybe roping her siblings into pulling off the hex core heist despite not having to with Silco and Vander providing them with enough food and shelter).

Like maybe they death of her bio parents and unresolved childhood trauma are abit more prominent because she didn't have to mask it in this verse. Maybe she also had a massive fight with Powder that causes her to never want any contact with Vi during her time in Stillwater.

(Also Caitlyn being Vi's parole officer is hilarious)

In the main version of this verse no she doesn't. Her parents are way too powerful (and honestly way too aware how bad it would look in their relation to Piltover if their daughter gets arrested) too soon after they adopt her. They are absolutely fixing any situation so she doesn't face any real punishment for it (other than Vander's disappointment which for Vi is probably punishment enough).

Two things under the cut 1. How the Hex Core heist happens in this verse 2. An offshoot where she does end up in Stillwater

Okay, I do feel like I need to explain what happens with the hex core heist in this verse. Because Vi and the younger kids do still do it. It's actually when she and Caitlyn first-first meet (other than seeing each other in super-passing at events, point is Cait does know who these kids are but they have never interacted until now).

Caitlyn just takes the fall for it.

Which okay more Jayce takes more of the fall for it because Caitlyn's story is "Jayce showed me these gems and despite telling me how dangerous they were I still went and played with them and then one exploded I'm so sorry". None of that is exactly illegal just... not listening to rules. She gets a slap on the wrist and a "when people tell you something is dangerous you should listen" and Jayce is in an even greater world of hell because he put Caitlyn in danger by keeping dangerous items somewhere she could get them.

And then Heimedinger (unknowing to the whole situation) puts Viktor on the clean up and any evidence that would suggest there was someone else involved gets vanished (and Viktor gets a partner and later husband out of it; and also gives his siblings a verbal smack down when he next visits because what were they thinking!?). And Grayson who also does not want civil war on the doorsteps gives Caitlyn a little nod of approval on the side for putting her own safety at risk (not really but a little) to protect others while quietly telling anyone who claims they sore some other kids fleeing the scene that no you didn't.

And they all gaslight Jayce into thinking he imagined the other blue-haired girl there.

But offshoot time.

While I do think that Vander and Silco would fix any crime Vi commits the idea of Caitlyn being her parole officer is just too good to pass up. So IDK some Enforcers who aren't happy about the whole deal with Zaun have their eyes particularly on the family waiting for one to slip up and Vi happens to be that one in a way that's bad enough that all Vander and Silco have the power to do is argue for a reduced sentence and not no sentence.

Vander and Silco probably still visit her. But, especially at first, their visits are spent with her sulking on the other side of the room and not wanting to talk to them because she's ashamed. And them not really knowing what to say. They don't want to support her outright because what she did was bad (not that Silco can talk but she got caught) but also she's facing a punishment for her actions they don't want to make it worse. And, yeah, if she and Powder had a bad fight right before I could see Powder being reluctant to visit her (partially again for not knowing what to do or say) and that making Vi's guilt all the worse - she can't be there to protect her sister.

Actually can we have it that this happens after the Hex Heist in this verse? Because the last time they met Vi was protecting Caitlyn from an explosion (that her sister set off but whatever, semantics) and now they meet again with Vi being introduced to her knew parole officer.

#Zaun Family #Vi Arcane #Caitlyn Arcane #Vander Arcane #Silco Arcane #Ramblings of the Goddess #Q and A with the Goddess #Anon question #The fallout with the Hex Crystal Explosion is why #it takes Silco investing into Hextech to bring the Kirammans on board #in this verse #because Jayce put their ONLY DAUGHTER in a really risky situation #because of the technology #and while he's proven his theories they're still apprehensive #Mel investing is... whatever to them #but Silco investing is dangerous #because that means there is nobody from Piltover's side on board #which means if this stuff works (and it looks like it will) #Zaun will get first grab of the results (and profits) from it #and they can't have that #so the Kirammans VERY QUICKLY invest after Silco #to make sure Piltover will profit as well

[faeriefoxie]

haveibeentrained.com now has an "opt out" thing on it

the tutorial video for how to opt-out literally has you search for every image you made, then right click on it and opt-out

it's PER-IMAGE, not PER-ACCOUNT

so for people who've made loads of art, they have to search for every single piece, and opt out every single piece manually

AND, ACCORDING TO THIS VIDEO, THERE'S A DEADLINE OF ONLY A FEW WEEKS BEFORE THE NEW VERSION STARTS TRAINING

this sucks

#ai art discourse #i hate AI art #if you really have to keep it around (please don't) #then make it opt-in you cowards #but of course they won't bcuz then barely anyone would opt in and so their dataset would be terrible #and that means they're not profiting off of it #and they can't have that #and you know the only reason they did this is so they can say “but you can opt out” every time someone complains #literally a cop out #you shouldn't have to make an account with this website and search for every individual image just to have them not in the dataset

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[miss-galaxy-turtle]

Jew here with a friendly reminder that:

Criticizing Isreal ≠ antisemetic

Supporting Palestine ≠ antisemitic

Believing in the Free Palestine cause ≠ antisemitic

BUT ALSO

A random ass Jew just living their life oceans away has nothing to do with the Isreal-Palestine conflict

Palestinian Jews exist

Jews that support Palestine exist (I am one of them)

Calling out ACTUAL antisemitism ≠ supporting Isreal

#can't believe i still have to say this #isreal #palestine #free palestine #isreal palestine conflict #jewish #jewblr #antisemitism tw

[inkskinned]

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

#spilled ink #warm up #“why did u tag it warm up” bc i wrote it off the cuff while drinkin coffee lol #btw the 30 dollar buy in for the dog walking is bc they pay the organizer a small pittance so she can #run fb ads and stuff and like she does put in a lot of work i don't mind paying her #but that's exactly what im fucking talking about like. #ppl can't afford to volunteer their time anymore and we all understand it!!! everything costs money for everyone! #like we didn't have to use to say ''do you mind paying me back for the stuff we ate'' #we used to be able to afford to feed our friends once in a while!!!

[emilnikos]

I need non autistic people to realise meltdowns are a real debilitating thing that has a serious effect on your mental and physical health NOWWWWW!!! The way its been trivialized and lessened pisses me the fuck off. It's not a tantrum and it doesn't come from "being too weak-willed" it's painful and it's embarrassing AND MOST OF ALL IT'S INVOLUNTARY!! Don't claim to be an ally to autistic or disabled people and then make fun of people who have meltdowns. Literally get the hell out of my sight

#i can't believe i have to day it but autism /is/ a disablity. its disabling. meltdowns are part of that. #'oh this is a lukewarm take' you dumbshit fucks have been throwing the word neurodivergent and meltdown around so #casually they have both been said at me with the same disdain as a swear word. you guys will accept making fun of autistic people #if someone jn your circle who is 'cool' does it first. at your big ages. shut the hell up

[whatkindofnameisella]

can you believe that we have fanfiction. that we have websites dedicated to fanfiction. that there is a place that you can go and read tens, hundreds, thousands and thousands of pieces of writing that strangers have made. people who are not "writers". people who come home at the end of the day and have feelings and say, i am going to put that into words. i am going to share those words. short, long, sweet, sad, horny, funny, wonderful words. we are all just human and we all love to make and remake and share that with others. can you believe that.

#ao3 #archive of our own #fanfiction #sometimes i can't even believe how much i myself have written. like i think i am not a writer. i am not doing enough. i do not write enough #and i look back and i have 34 (34!!) works on ao3 and reams of unpublished work on my computer and so long left to live. so i think #we will be okay. #writing

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[cozylittleartblog]

cant tell you how bad it feels to constantly tell other artists to come to tumblr, because its the last good website that isn't fucked up by spoonfeeding algorithms and AI bullshit and isn't based around meaningless likes

just to watch that all fall apart in the last year or so and especially the last two weeks

there's nowhere good to go anymore for artists.

edit - a lot of people are saying the tags are important so actually, you'll look at my tags.

#please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads#in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

#not art #but important #please dont delete your accounts because of the AI crap. your art deserves more than being lost like that #if you have a good PC please glaze or nightshade it. if you dont or it doesnt work with your style (like mine) please start watermarking #use a plain-ish font. make it your username. if people can't google what your watermark says and find ur account its not a good watermark #it needs to be central in the image - NOT on the canvas edges - and put it in multiple places if you are compelled #please dont stop posting your art because of this shit. we just have to hope regulations will come slamming down on these shitheads #in the next year or two and you want to have accounts to come back to. the world Needs real art #if we all leave that just makes more room for these scam artists to fill in with their soulless recycled garbage #improvise adapt overcome. it sucks but it is what it is for the moment. safeguard yourself as best you can without making #years of art from thousands of artists lost media. the digital world and art is too temporary to hastily click a Delete button out of spite

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

being a student during peak pandemic was so fucking surreal like. "it's not an excuse to fall behind" I cannot stress enough to you how much A Worldwide Plague Upending Life As We Know It is literally one of The Top Three Reasons to fall behind

#you go upstairs to hear the news talk about the death toll hitting 100k. you get some frozen waffles bc its all you've got stocked up #and you wont risk going to get groceries or takeout. you go back downstairs because you have a 3 page essay due. #you stare at your word doc with lofi playing and wonder why you can't just buckle down and work like normal. #or really. you pretend to wonder #because you know the reason you cant work like normal #you just refuse to allow yourself to believe its reason enough #mine #academia #covid mention

[fourdiagnosesinatrenchcoat]

This makes me so sad and also I'm trying to remember if any of the Discworld books dealt with late stage capitalism

#gnu terry pratchett #boots theory #sam vimes #this is why we can't have nice things

[hell0mega]

people are drawing Steamboat Willie Mickey doing all this crazy shit and whatnot, but you could always do that. you can do that now, with current Mickey, just fine. it's fanart and it's legally protected. hell you could take Disney-drawn Mickey and put a caption about unions or whatever on it and it would still be protected under free speech and sometimes even parody law.

what is special about public domain is that you can SELL him. you could take a screenshot and sell it on a tshirt. you can use him to advertise your plumbing business. people have already uploaded and monetized the original film.

you could always have Mickey say what you want, but now you can profit off it.

#steamboat willie #Mickey mouse #Disney #public domain #you can't trademark him as like a logo or mascot of your plumbing business i just mean like #you can slap him in your commercial or side of the van #i just have seen soooo many people make ORIGINAL art of him and I'm like #no that's not the point!! you can already do that!!! #(obvs if it's a comic or something talking about him being free or whatever then yeah like i get it) #(but those people who put him as a fighter in their game?? Quinton reviews uploading the original video?? boss shit) #(THAT'S what it's about)

[catskullery]

#posted on my uhhhh side art account on twitter and thought i should make it clear here too #since they've been coming out of the woodwork lately #carry on #the terfs are really in their feelings about this one <3 #really down in their hurt little ugly feefees <3 #my they pronoun scares them soooo bad too #awww it's okay little dumb dumb the pronoun can't hurt you here have a binkie

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Wow, this "gender free" fashion brand sure doesn't have any AMAB models.

#If you can't put someone with a beard in one of your skirts you have failed as a queer brand #My punishment for dkbefafely clicking on an ad #OK I did find exactly one in the infographic about their big and tall coveralls #But they weren't in the actual product listings for the products. #Fashion #Queer fashion #Nonbinary #Women and femmes #Genderqueer #And I do mean AMAB. I didn't see any trans women either #post o' mine

[sabugabr]

Hold fast. Brave the storm

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo series #pjo #illustration #artists on tumblr #might have gotten a lil carried away here #not gonna lie #this series is just so pretty #rick riordan #can't draw a minotaur to save my life tho #annabeth chase #clarisse la rue #luke castellan #grover underwood