#and then i had a free so i hung out with ppl who i dont rlly hanf out with and it was a fun time

[evature]

I hope everyone has a lovely day today mwah

#today was a lovely day for Me #.evature #:) #because #i drew a timeline with my friend during our class and it was amazing #and then i spent the first period writing #during the break i walked around with the same friend and our other friend and it was rlly nice #and then i had a free so i hung out with ppl who i dont rlly hanf out with and it was a fun time #id like to be aroundthem more maybe #and then in art we did critiques and that waa also good #lucnh i had jazz band 🎺 #AND I DIDNT HAVE LUNCH so then my head hurt #but then after all classes i walked with this guy who i used to like (he doesnt know) to where i was gwtting picked ul #and it was niceQ #hes a silly man #anyway he was njce to have a convo with #i still maybe like him a ljttle #bht I'm not putting much energy into it or thinking abt it because hes friends with my ex and i dont want to be around my ex 👍👍 #but yeah! #this other guy seems sweet :> #thats been my day so far!

[asteroidzzzn]

more than just a dream - spark, 004

pairing: college!ellie x reader

synopsis: you transfer to a new school where you only know one person; your childhood best friend. he invited you to a beginning of the year party to meet some new people, but one person, in particular, catches your eye... his other best friend.

a/n: dina bonding time!

genre: social media au, fluff

series masterlist -- previous chapter -- next chapter

bria 🧚

hey!

dina 💋

hi whats up? :)

bria 🧚

im bored and everyone else went out but i dont feel like drinking rn..

can i come over?

i know the two of us arent super close but this could be our chance to bond outside the group 🤞🤞

dina 💋

omg ofc!! i was feeling the same i just wanted to chill and stay in today 😭 but ya come over whenever

bria 🧚 ❤️ a message

we can watch mission impossible if ur into that!

only if u bring snacks...

bria 🧚

U HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IVE BEEN WANTING TO SEE THATTTT OK im omw now ill put the best i have in a bag 🙏 cya!!

dina 💋 ❤️ a message

bria 🧚

hey dina, sorry i had to leave right away

i have to study for the first unit test later today

wish i didn't, this is so boring

how are u?

dina 💋

im fine

good

im good im great actually

but i really think we should talk about it

what happened last night

bria 🧚

later, ok?

sorry

i need to go right now stepping into class

dina 💋

oh ok, bye :)

dina woodward

hi y/n im literally going insane r u free to talk

y/n

omfg 😭 whats going on

dina woodward

you'll never believe what happened last night

y/n

ughhh i wish i was there! sorry i wanted to stay in to get some sleep, i have a test next period

dina woodward

oh no worries i actually stayed in too so this isnt ab the outing

do u know who bria volentas is?

y/n

yeah i do!

shes really nice ill sit next to her in history in a few minutes actually

dina woodward

oh 😭😭😭 i wanted to talk to u ab this bc i thought u were the only one in the group that didnt really know her

can u keep a secret? just need to get this off my chest

y/n

u can trust me :)

dina woodward

sooo... ive had a crush on her since the dawn of time

y/n !! a message

and we hung out last night alone!!

y/n

!!AWEEE yall will be so cute together i can see it now

dina woodward ❤️ a message

also im so glad u said that bc i wasnt ab to be the one to com eout first 😭😭

dina woodward !! a message

dina woodward

YOUW AHT?!?!?!?!?!?

i didnt wanna assume but i secretly knew.........

y/n haha a message

y/n

🤝🤝🤝

OKOK GET ON W UR STORY

dina woodward

we were watching mission impossible bc ellie ditched me (i wont forget) and she goes 'im cold' so bc shes the actual loml i let her under my blanket

y/n

awwww

dina woodward

then our feet kinda touched then our hands kinda touched and we were getting rlly close... then we fucked

y/n

AHH????

that went from 0 to 100 sO FAST

dina woodward

I KNOW LIKE IMS TILL SO IN SHOCK RN

y/n

SO YGS ARENT TOGETHER YET THO?? HAVE U TALKED AB IT ALL??? FYB? ONE TIME THING?

dina woodward

IDKK I HAVE NO IDEA

this is the average wlw experience i say while dry heaving and crawling onto the roof and howling

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

LMFAOOO it literally is tho we have it so difficult

dina woodward

HELPPP ME AND BRIA ARE IN CHAT RN BUT WE'RE NOT SAYING ANYTHING

SPEAK UP WOMANNN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

i said i wanted to talk ab last night and she was so avoidant so she BETTER say something rn

y/n

yall rn

lurking in chat.....

dina woodward

😭😭😭

i need to be distracted rn

eye starts twitching

tell me smth thats going on w u

y/n

ok u trusted me w ur crush so i can trust u w mine right..

dina woodward

ofc ofc

y/n

so u know her actually like really well from what i know

BLEEEH I HATE TELLING PPL I LIKE THEIR FRIENDS

is ellie williams gay..

dina woodward

take a look at her what do u think

yes she is gay! AND U LEIWFAGJEDFANJ YOU LIKE HER??

y/n ❤️ a message

y/n

angels harmonize and descend from heaven

BLESSS 🙏🙏

yes i like her... i think. its been hard to like anyone since my last relationship but im feeling rlly hopeful about us

im heavily delusional tho she was prob just being friendly when we hung out

dina woodward

she recently broke up w her ex too, and shes been kinda staying away from relationships :(

ur amazing tho youd be so good for her

if she acts like a bitch to u ONCE run

y/n

damn jesse warned me ab her too 😭 what happened with her and her ex? if u know or if ur ok with telling me

i know its not really my business

i just wanna know what lines i cant cross

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

yeah i totally get it

i actually dont know all the details

i think she only told jesse bc theyre way closer than me and her

if u want to know everything, id ask him or get it from ellie herself

just get closer with her and she'll tell u everything, and u can decide what to do from there

y/n

ok , thats a good idea

ill just use my amazing charm and incredible beauty to captivate her in chemistry

dina woodward ❤️ a message

dina woodward

HEHEHEHE

speaking of,, she sucks at chemistry. u could get closer to her by tutoring her if youd be up for that?? shed appreciate it sooo much

y/n

#1 wingman award is presented toooooo dina woodward!

dina woodward ❤️ a message

ill def talk to her ab that ill be like heyyy u need help 💋

shit gtg now, test time!

dina woodward

good luck!! with the test and ellie🙏

y/n ❤️ a message

a/n: a lot longer than the last chapter!! but i had a lot to say in this one :D love in the future for my girl dina!!! love to see it

hope u enjoyed as always (✿◠‿◠)

taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @elliesinterlude @fireflyels @trulygnomed @deluluwh-0-re @toesorhoes @elliewilliamsmissingfingerss @emluvselandabs @ariianelle @jokerpokimoon @lonelyfooryouonly @lil-elliesgf @yuaaa05 @ourautumn86

#ellie williams #tlou game #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #tlou 2 #wlw #ellie williams fluff #tlou part 2 #jesse tlou #dina woodward #the last of us fanfiction #tlou smau #lesbian

[dojae-huh]

No taeil at all for the highnotes? Even the adlib is by doyoung. Not to mention the bridge only have 2 ppl in it which are bizarre for nct. They always have 3-4 ppl for the bridge. The line distribution for ayyo is a bit confusing. Doyoung did great in his parts but i always don’t feel so good when he is in the spotlight too much in group songs which happens only recently with 2baddies and ayyo. He’s gonna get more hates for sure and it’s not helping that its kenzie. Tbc

I dont mind that he’s favored by kenzie but kenzie’s gotta be fair if it’s a group work no? I dread so much these days when there’s updates for Do work cuz he’ll def get hates no matter what. So i at least donwan him to attract too much in groupwork. Also i can’t wrap my head around the ‘line’ culture in korea. Kyu-line, kenzie-line, yoo young jin-line, that person line, this person line. Isn’t it just favoritism but they openly advertise to ppl in the industry. Tbc

If it’s just same yr line like 97 lines than it’s fine because there’s not much power involved there. It’s just casual friendship. But when it involved seniors, main producers which the head of the line has a lot of power for the followers career, ain’t it just blatant favoritism? Idt koreans think it this way tho cuz it’s normalize in almost every intitution. In companies, you have lines as well. In university you have lines for the professors. It’s just out there in the open.

------------------

(seldom, but sometimes a few anons write at the same time, so it's better to mark parts with 1/3-3/3 or any other way that will allow me to identify the author without mistake. also, how come some anons can send lengthy posts without the need to break them? is it because you have accounts?)

One idol once said about charity and donations that whatever celebreties do, there will be netizens who will not like it. If an idol publicly talks about a donation, he is a pozer and did it only for the good image. If an idol does charity in secrecy, he is a bastard who doesn't care about the poor and those in need.

Doyoung will have antis regardless of number of lines in 127 songs or screentime in MVs. Antis will just talk about his jokes about his friends or him stealing OSTs from others. Please don't wish Doyoung to stay in the shadows in 127. He worked his ass off for the group and constantly upgrades his singing abilities, he earned all the spotlight. And his fans as well.

Doyoung always does adlibs.

I really liked the new roles for 127 neos in Ay-Yo. It is the first time I realy liked Johnny's part as well. I hope he finally gained confidence and SM producers figured out how to include him organically. Mark was singing, Tae was rapping in a new way, Taeil had Do's parts, Jae was the central piece, which is rare actually, Yuta's tone of voice was used well, Woo got a big part, and Hyuk got a small part (after years of songs highlighting him up, it was time to change the recipe).

Neos are parts of a group, it's a unit, not an assortment of soloists, they should get roles according to their abilities and to the structure of the song. SM also incorporates lore, so some members have to sing certain sentences.

Taeil's fans are happy because he got a lot of screentime, by the way. And he sings a lot, so I don't know what Kenzie favoritism you are talking about.

Accept a different culture, anon. Koreans grow up with competition. The marks of students are hung up on the wall in school after each test. Everyone knows who is the best student, and who is the runner up. Koreans need a group to belong to, they don't even eat alone (and can ask a foreigner in uni to sit with them at canteen to not stand out). The first thing Koreans do upon landing in a foreign country is finding a community. Be it a Korean culture club or a Korean Christian society. Koreans who came to my city to study music and knew no English or Russian gave free language and calligraphy lessons in the Korean centre just to be in a group and make connections.

Hyung-dongsaeng culture continue to be strong. Hyungs help dongsaengs. And SM is all about family and artists mingling and interacting. Demonstrating being a good hyung is as benefitial as becoming a dongsaeng.

Connections and favouritism work absolutely everywhere. You must bring letters of recommendation from known and respected names wherever you apply. And people in charge send letters to others asking if they know anyone for the position they'd like to fill.

But here is a thing, one doesn't get favoured unless there is something for the person in power. And seeing how Doyoung is not a talentless kid from an influental family to pay for his career, I don't understand the concern.

97-line has a BTS member. And a BTS member has a lot of power. SM is made of many people who can influence things, even LSM doesn't have the last word. Your logic doesn't work like that here.

[dateamonster]

A weird thought that kind of hung out in my head for a while that is sort of relevant to this blog's theme, but also kind of isn't, but I'm honestly not sure, but I have no better place to dump it into, so whatever. Feel free to ignore this if you're not interested >>

Yautja. Predators. However you want to call them. They have a very particular, hunting and honor-centric cultural mindset. But. What would it be like for someone in their culture to just... not be into that? There are people who are basically entirely averse to romance, in spite of how central it is in our culture, so how would some who is, uh... akynig, not interested in hunting? And how would such a person, perhaps, adapt to another society, lacking this aspect of Yautja culture but carrying across many others?

The worldbuilding nut in me is always excited about those things but it is a very rare opportunity to discuss it in any manner >>

i dont rly know anything abt the predator film franchise so i cant rly add much but i do enjoy the idea of like. alien cultures and what that means for the individuals within that culture.

idk how comparable this is but i was just recently watching a video that was talking abt the ferengi from star trek and how upon their original introduction they were kinda this one note species because their sole characteristic was being a hyper capitalistic culture built around hoarding wealth, but in deep space 9 we start to actually see individual ferengi characters outside the context of this monolithic cultural concept and come to understand that their greed is not like some innate personal trait but the result of the values and demands of ferengi society.

theres def a larger discussion to be had abt the way a lot of popular scifi tends to narrow entire planets worth of people down to singular traits and how thats kind of a major weakness when it comes to like world building and imagining alternate societies, but when thats a thing the franchise is already doing it does open up an interesting avenue of like, how many ppl within this culture actually share this valued trait? how many are just going along with it bc its what you do? how many have so deeply internalized it that even if removed from this society and its rules they would unconsciously mirror it? is there a space for counter-culture in this world?

it seems like itd be harder to analyze stuff like that in the context of predator movies tho since, from my limited understanding, it seems like the yautja were at least originally designed simply according to what would make them serve best as a scary antagonist. i do think its cool tho that there seem to be a lot of fans who are trying to give their species more depth and complexity than the source material affords them. again tho im probably missing a lot of actual context lol.

#ask #predator #aliens #systemsearcher

[mothmandibles]

eva 15, river 10, 17 for both of them. Also i cant find your ask button on desktop view of blog

15. how big or small is their family? who did they live with growing up? do they live with anyone now?

i dont think Much about eva's family but i know in my heart her familyprobably isnt anything huge. typical mom dad grandparents, maybe an aunt & uncle smwhere, and a sister (younger? older? who knows.) she lived with her parents & sister growing up but now he doesnt. really see them anymore. and are cursed to deal with the wretched beast known as river entering his home and dwelling there.

10. if they wear jewelry, what kind? do they prefer silver or gold? do they have a favorite gem?

i think In Theory river could be a jewlery type wearing but In Practice her r/malelivingspaces home makes it hard to keep anything fancy & small like that... she might have like a few (cheap.) necklaces & rings laying about tho. would prefer silver, & any gem thats red... rubys i guess. shes a red enjoyer. ..even before the whole blood drinking thing.

17. how did they spend their summers/free time as a child?

eva... probably laying about doing fuck all as much as possible tbh. he had friends growing up tho so i can definitely see him having like. hung out with those ppl.. stuff like going over 2 play video games & going 2 the park 2 be a menace.. yeah.

river . is difficult for me to imagine her as a child. i think she'd've spent her free time googling "REAL CURSES AND SPELLS TO USE REAL NOT FAKE" to summon demons to kill everyone she didnt like. & stopped believing in that stuff because it never worked out. how sad.

Where is my askbutton on my desktop blog

yeah this is a good reminder i should change it sometime. its cute but not very like. good with saying what buttons are what.

#response #HI GENOOOOOOOO THANK U GENOOOOOOOOOOO I LOVE UUUU

[tianshiisdead]

nah ur totally valid. i hope they grow and change tho, bc i dont want to live in a world where ppl like this exist 🙃

yeahhh tbh I agree :')) hope we can move forward somehow fkjdhlg (sorry to go off on you anon but I ended up typing a rant so feel free to stop here haha it's only tangentially related!)

I think I'm just frustrated because of all the attention towards growing and changing and such, like I get it and agree that people should grow and change and be given the space to do so, but a lot of times when people talk about it I feel like it's almost treated as more important than the hurt that they cause? Like, I'm just petty and hateful tbh but I don't have anything but hatred and resentment for people who spout racist or hateful things, I almost don't want them to be happy or get better, I'm the one that's hurt by them so why are they the focus? I hate how irl unless someone actively shouts a slur or physically threatens me with violence, I always have to shut up, I always have to keep the peace, if someone irl is subtly condescending or racist to me it's either on me to teach them and make them either hate me or tiptoe around me, or not tell them anything or push back at all and then later feel guilty about it. I'm just so frustrated with everything, I'm always pulling myself back and smiling and brushing things off irl as long as they're not openly malicious, but actually I hate it! I don't forgive it! I'm tired of taking the burden onto myself. I'm tired of the fact that pretty much every roommate I've had in these few years of uni is white and in some ways pretty openly ignorant, I hate how they try and, like, get my approval on asianness or something by pointedly making insensitive comments but get either angry or overly sad when I speak up and then I have to either back down or comfort them and LIVE with their condescending comments, I'm tired of being talked down to and pointed out and having to sit there and pretend everything is okay. Back when I was a sheltered little kid who only hung out with the Easian and Desi kids at school I only understood racism in mockery and violence because I almost never interacted with that many white people outside of teachers and, like, librarians, but then I came out into the world where I had to talk to coworkers and roommates and classmates for extended periods of time and it's horrible and I hate it, it's worse than just calling me slurs or making jokes about me being a sex worker imo. Growing and changing, in general, is fine but I'm tired of people pretending EVERYONE cares SOOO much about racism and the TRUE victim that needs to be addressed is the former/subtle racist who's getting 'attacked' the moment someone points it out, and not the people hurt by it. I hate how anything less than a slur has to be reacted to gently, after dealing with it day after week after month after year, and all of it building on top of the pre-existing internalized racism and open racism I've dealt with, I don't have any energy or patience and i just HATE them, I hate them so deeply and I hate all of them and I don't want them to get better and be praised for it like they're the main character and I'm just a symbol of what they used to be like.

#ask #anon #racism cw #hater tag

[xdamngina]

the second Dark past.

I had a bestfriend. The same one from my first dark past event. She was dating this guy, and I was out there living life. 19, working, hanging out with all my guy friends. No in college. Because The way i saw it was, Why do i want a debt in my future. (I don't have one still) well, I was drinking, hanging with all my friends and Tbh, these guys made me feel loved. They cared about me. Jessica, Victoria, Jason, Antonio, Chris, All these ppl made me feel loved. They took care of me. Never took advantage of me. They made me feel Real friends, and what that felt like.

Well my first friend, that i had known since i was 14. We were 19/21 at this time. She broke up with her boyfriend. And She wanted to hang out. Because she said I seemed free. and wanted to hang with US because she didnt want to care at the moment.

Well Jason and I had this on going friend fued for awhile. He set me up on a blind date with someone i have never met. Apparently he never met her either. Lol. I know right. Her name was Jennifer. She was nice. He met her online on a dating app. Well this was ongoing, we tried to set eachother up with people.

He liked my friend. I told him "yeah she might like you too , talk to her" and he did.

One day, we were all doing Whip its. It was him, me and Her. Only. During whip its the high lasts 15-30Seconds. And We were drinking.

During which, I felt like throwing up so i ran outside to vomit. 30 seconds. I look up and antonio is standing over me. He asked if i was okay. And BOOM, my friend ran out the room and grabs me and says "dont leave me gina" and Thats it. It was 30Seconds i was outside

Jason comes out and his face is sad.

I asked her "hey what happened?" I looked at jason and his face, I will never get his face out of my head And she said "nothing, just dont leave me" I asked her if she wanted to leave and she said "yeah can you take me home" and I took her home. The whole way she was completely silent.

Days past, Jason calls me and he says "gina i thought you said she liked me?" I said "no i didnt. I told you to talk to her. She might like you" and he freaked out. He said "gina wtf man. I thought she liked me" and I asked what happened and he never said anything. He said nothing happened. She turned him down apparently.

Well Days past, I received a call from another friend (another one from the first past event). And she tells me "hey she doesnt want to hang with you anymore" and I asked "okay well what did i do?" and she said "she said you left her with some random guy to sexually harrass her" "thats not true, we grew up together, why would i do that to her. She was left alone for 30 seconds. I asked what happened, she told me nothing. I asked her several times and I would have stood up for her. I didnt set her up to get raped. I had to throw up. If she felt that way or felt i would do that to her, she should have never hung out with me because Friends dont do that. I wouldnt do that to her." "Yeah i know but ya know everyone is mad and dont want her to hang with you anymore because youre a bad influence" "are you fucking kidding me? Shes not a child. So thats me now? The person yall hang with to fucking get it out yalls system?" "Gina i still love you, and we can still hang out"

Later I realized this friend wanted to do to me what she thought i did to the other one. Even attempted it, im just not stupid enough to let her trap me in a situation she thought i did, But i soon realized these were definitely not my friends.

And How grateful i was for Jessica and Victoria who truly loved me so much. I have never found friends like them.

For that first friend, I never saw her again. Not social media. Nothing ever again.

[abcdosaka]

i have not posted on here in a while. idk various things have happened. but heres the most recent stuff.

this is sorta fresh (literally 2 days ago) but im mostly over it i think? i made a hinge account and briefly talked to this girl and i liked talking to her but i think i just dont know how to rizz someone up, or maybe ik and i dont have the courage to do it so i gotta play nice girl from the start. and i think our second phone call i was just kinda lacking in energy and i wasn’t texting her too often either. but at the end of it she was like lets just be friends going forward.

i havent really had any experiences before, like real ones where i was the one initiating everything, so it hurt, kinda like getting rejected for a job interview. i was like ig im just not outgoing or funny or charming enough but damn we talked like twice on the phone, we never even met up, that quick huh.

tbh i think i initiated slightly more and she was less interested and she also made it pretty clear she wasnt sure about getting into a relationship. idk its not worth analyzing. we do have a lot of similar tastes but if she wants to be friends she has to initiate and i might blow her off anyway i dont feel like talking to her anymore lol. or maybe ill respond but just really slowly. ik its giving nice guy/friendzoned. ehhh i might respond she was nice/friendly enough i just need time to get over it fully. i think this is a lets see how im feeling in a week situation. to be fair sometimes good friendships pop up out of bad experiences for me like i thought D was a huge dick when i first met him but we got along well for the time we knew each other

idk i would rather have someone who knows what they want and is certain about it too. but in the first place i dont even want to talk to ppl like its such a hassle texting randoms multiple days in a row. i got a couple other likes and i just ignored them. ive ghosted two ppl bc i just was sick of the texting going nowhere.

tbh i think im just sad bc my ego’s a little bruised. but idk that happens to me easily like applying for a job sucks and it hurts to get rejected and having a job kinda sucks too but its required. relationships, kinda the same but i dont think its required? they never seemed that great or fun or loving to me, prob bc my parents hated each other for 90% of my childhood. even when i see relationships in fiction im like oh cute but idk if i really need that.

im more upset that i dont really have anyone to talk to about this stuff. and im upset s didnt wanna meet over reading week. like besties for 10 years but you couldnt free up a space for me even tho i asked like 3 weeks ago. idk if i can even call us besties. i used to be so insecure abt what kinda friendship we had but now im kinda sick of this. maybe i should ask. i kinda hate feeling needy or sounding clingy though. idk i was pretty friendly in my response

she didnt even receive it T_T

idk she hasnt responded to any messages frequently for the past month so shes probably really busy but ugh i fucking hate this. i just wish she’d check in for once like “hey sorry ive just been really busy the past month and havent had the energy or time to respond but hopefully ill have some time soon”. cuz the thing is its kinda typical of her to flake/be distant/antisocial. like after we graduated hs she ignored my messages for a month and she promised not to do that again. and when we hung out for the last time before i moved for uni she overslept and i think shes done that two or three times since. its really frustrating when we dont get to see each other than often. so if i ask her its gonna be like this is an isolated incident but its not and im prob not gonna see her again after i graduate uni bc i wanna move across the country. and we almost never call bc everytime i ask she doesnt want to. i think thats just her hating calling but how tf else are we supposed to stay in contact when we live in different cities??? and texting for hours on end is fking annoying? same difference ik a bit hypocritical there but also, calling means u can multitask but texting means u have to focus solely on texting unless you wanna respond every 2 hours or even worse, every 5 minutes, theres no flow unless you pay full attention to texting.

and the thing that sucks even harder. is that we had a mutual friend, j, who was her BESTIE for middle school and almost all of highschool. (i had a crush on this chick btw but never told her and i kinda stopped talking to her in senior year). and j did the same fucking thing like she decided she didnt wanna talk to people she knew before highschool anymore and basically just slowly cut s out of her life. and s was so upset abt it she told me abt it a lot

see the thing is if i do confront her about ALL of this, i  think its gonna go the worst way possible. like we will slowly drift apart and im gonna lose my closest friend who probably doesnt even consider me at least one of her closest friends. and then im fucked. i mean im not fucked but im starting from ground zero.its really hard not having someone you know you can rely on. altho maybe shes not the most reliable and ive been coping by pretending im independent and dont need anyone for emotional shit. maybe im just catastrophizing. like on one hand, i truly am unsure enough abt our friendship that idk if she’d make an effort after i move real far. but on the other hand i am a known pessimist and i suck at this people bullshit. so idk if i should ask or not.

ugh i shouldnt have wrote this. i was like “if i go in depth on this post i wont be able to stop and then im gonna cry and i dont wanna cry. i should try to keep it light.” like lol. at least it was good practice for typeracer. im gonna do one race and go to sleep. this is frustrating

[britneyshakespeare]

no thanks, i went on one kinda-date six months ago, so i’m all burnt out for the next few years

#an old high school friend who i've been texting in quarantine for a few weeks now #he dated a mutual friend in high school for awhile and they've been done w that amicably seemingly for like. years now. #he's also friends w my brother from work and they met later on and have hung out for like. awhile. separately from me which is cool #one time in 2017 he was over when i had a mental breakdown at like 10:30 over having to be dairy-free (for medical reasons) #but my mother was not buying any food to accommodate that drastic change in diet so i completely lost my mind #he was up in the attic where jon's room was but i have no doubt he heard a deal of it lmao. i respect that he never brought it up to me #but he's trying to make dinner plans bc i said i'd never tried sushi and :\\ he said he'd treat me when i said i have no money :\\ (no lie) #tales from diana #i hate being aro sometimes. i feel like men would never talk to me if they knew they could not date me lmao. #but at the same time i want to plaster all over the world 'i am not interested in dating or casual sex' bc i just. hate rejecting ppl. #i do get a stupid damaging patriarchal sense of validation at men being attracted to me and i do live for the male gaze but i just can't #frolic in it. i do not like to exist in it. it burns me up. #and i know even if i were to make the extremely vulnerable/personal decision to comeout to friends/family (WHICH I DONT WANT TO DO) #but if ppl were to just know i was aroace... it wouldn't make men not attracted to me suddenly. men can't help but view all women #as potential options. they can't help holding out hope for every female they are in contact w even if they're completely ineligible. #or at least MANY men cannot subconsciously do that. it's not an inevitability and we can raise men to be better #but the so many of the men we got now--in my personal experience--suck and are awful. #they seem incapable of simply being my friend #my true friend like queer women and nbs attracted to women i know often are. w respect for my boundaries #even without the explanation that i'm aro (which i don't give to anyone irl lmao) (BECAUSE I SHOULDNT HAVE TO) #this rambling is mostly unrelated to the particular case im talking about bc he really is a decent guy i just. don't wanna say no to him #but don't wanna give him hope :\\\\\\\\ I HATEMY LIFE someone answer this text message for me

[milliumizoomi]

Tiktok Challenge: Take it

Pairings: Midoriya x POC Fem! Reader, Bakugou x POC Fem! Reader, Kirishima x POC Fem! Reader

All characters aged up!

For those who don’t know the dance, here.

A/n: I literally just saw this on tiktok and went Y E S💀

Midoriya

So lemme give y’all he run down.. my manz was OUT

Like on the street when this happened

He was out with the boys of class 1-A

They was just chilling having a nice time yk

While you were with the girls of class 1-A at home

Basically y’all had a girls and boys day

The boys had gone to a movie and then a restaurant to go eat.

They had already ordered so they was just waiting

Things get hot from here luv👀

They were all on they phones and signing autographs

Cuz ppl recognized them

Then all of a sudden Kaminari literally SCREAMED out

“MIDORIYA! YO YOU HAVE GOT TO SEE THIS!” Kaminari yelled sticking the phone in Midoriya’s face

“Alright! Just calm down Kaminari you’re drawing attention!” Midoriya answered.

“Damn loud mouth” Bakugou chimed in too. “Nerd lemme see what that dumbass was so hyped for anyways.” He said again.

“Alright Kacchan but I haven’t seen it either-“

“Just shut up and watchhhh!” Kaminari urged.

They all just rolled their eyes and soon enough all the boys, including Kaminari, crowed around the phone.

And when I tell you their jaws dropped to the FLOOR

It was on tiktok was of you ofc and you were with the other girls doing the dance

Mind y’all, y’all were wearing the little pajamas the he absolutely loves on you, which were these.

So when y’all was lifting up your legs and y’all thang was thanging, nobody could move

They were stuck, especially Midoriya

His eyes was just following you. Your braids were swings and your skin was glowing.

And luv best not forget that your nails were done.

You and Mina did the dance together and when I tell you it was just ass and thighs EVERYWHERE.

And then the others girls hyping y’all up in tha back.

They was clapping ‘nd making people know wassup

And not to mention the comments, they were thirsty asl.

You had guys and girls in your comments talking bout some “ma I’m tryna treat you right” and “damn girl you gotta man👀”

Dudes literally said power off like not one even fidgeted

Next thing yk you at home with the girls getting all these texts from the Midoriya

He saying “Angel.. My love.. I saw you dancing on Tiktok with the girls.. I’m not sure what you think you doing yk all that’s for me”

GIRL YOU WERE SHOOKKKK

Like is this the same man who be stuttering over his words 24/7??

Talking to you like this??

Chile..in the next couple minutes, the girls were outta the house while Midoriya hauled ass to the room with you over his shoulder.

Bakugou

So boom (no pun intended💀🤚🏽)

My man was working

Just in his office, doing some paperwork at his agency then later he was supposed to go on patrol

He was just minding his business, just doing his job

That was until the bakusquad started FaceTiming him none stop

Like ignored the call ATLEAST 5 times but they would not give up

He eventually just got fed up with the constant calls and answered the phone

“What the hell do you want?! Do you realize I’m working?!” Bakugou yelled at them, rolling his eyes.

“Dude you are NOT gonna be working when we show you this video..!” SERO said having a nervous grin

“Hah? What video?! You called me for a stupid ass video?!” Bakugou called out.

“Trust me Bakugou.. you’re gonna find it far from stupid” Mina chimes in, scratching her head

“Y-“ Bakugou started.

“No shush, I’m gonna send it to the chat now” Kaminari said

“.. Did dunce face just shush me?!” Bakugou said.

“We’ll talk about that later..! Now watchhhh” Kirishima said.

“Whatever” Bakugou said as he rolled eyes and went to the chat.

He clicked on the video and when I tell you he literally CHOKED

His brain? Factory Resarted

Who do you think you are shaking your ass like that all up in the camera

And it made it no better that you were doing this in one his custom made hoodie after the shirt he had in high school.

The bakusquad was laughing at Bakugou cuz manz looked like he was DROOLING

“Ight ima talk to y’all later I got an important phone call to make..” Bakugou said and hung up and called your ass IMMEDIATELY

You was just chilling when you got the call and when I tell you this man told you ALL the things he was finna do to you when he got home

Girl the hairs in your head was shaking

Your braids? They were shivering and that don’t happen much

Miss maam when he got home..

Let’s just say he had your black behind walking like your legs were broken the next day

Kirishima

The poor man was in a interview

ON LIVE TELEVISION

And you gon’ do him like this???

He was in the middle of answering the interviewer’s questions when his phone just started buzzing nonstop

He wanted to look but once again.. ✨live television✨

He had to ignore them until the commercial break but he was glad that nobody could hear it buzzing

After the break came on he hurried to look at his phone quickly

Now to side track I just KNOW this man follow you on tiktok I just know it.

And your notification was on his phone but he ain’t see it and went straight to where Kaminari and Mina were spamming his messages

One of Kaminari’s said

“IDK IF YOU GOT THE NOTIFICATION BUT YOU NEED TO GO ON Y/N’S TIKTOK RN”

Kirishima was L O S T

He read the rest of Kaminari’s messages the went to Mina’s where she was basically saying the same thing

Mina was saying “KIRIII YOUR GIRL GETTING IT ON TIKTOK AND SHE LOOKING FINE TOOO”

Now he was like “hmmm I gotta see this now”

So he closed out of his messages and went on tikitok and when he opened it immediately yours was the first to pop up and it had thousands of likes

He froze at the sight of you.

There you were, in the female version of his hero costume.

Shaking your thicc behind self all up in the screen

Even when you was barely moving everything was jiggling

Manz had to cover his phone and hurry to put it in his pocket when the commercial break was over

He was literally SWEATING while his mini ‘shima was abt to make an appearance in this interview if these ppl ain’t hurry up

He could not focus at all

He was fidgeting all over the place and all he could think of was you in a recreation of his hero costume

He looked EVERYWHERE but at the interviewer so he wouldn’t crack

Best believe when that interview was over than man moved like the he was running for his life

Manz was GONE in the blink of an eye

Them interviewers while so confused when Kirishima was screaming thank you at them while he bolted out the door.

Meanwhile you just finished making some other tiktoks to post later

Mind you, you had already changed out of your costume

When all of a sudden, in a matter of minutes, the door just busted open with Kirishima huffin’ and puffin’ at the door.

Manz was look mad ASF

Girl u almost pitched right tf over

You went to swinging cuz the door was right behind you and you almost hit him until he grabbed your hand mid swing

When you looked up and realized it was him chile ya whole body relaxed

“DAMMIT! Eiji you scared the crap outta me! Don’t do that!” You screamed

“Be quiet brat..” Kirishima growled.

“Eiji what are you- AYE! BOY IF YOU DONT PUT ME DOWN!” You screamed when he threw you over his shoulder.

“I saw your Tiktok babe.. you looked so hot dressed up like me.. but you were shaking what’s mines.. you know better..” He said lowly.

You was trying your best to break free but my man had the grip of steel on you

You knew you wasn’t going nowhere soon

And chileeee...

The next few days after that, walking was a difficult task.

©Property of Miashimaa. Please don’t rectify, repost or modify without my permission.

Taglist: @uniquabackyardigans @haikyu-whore @kiribis-confesion-page (Open, but please specify which taglist you want to be added to)

#{📝}—a.scribbles #bakugou x black reader #bakugou x poc!reader #bakugou x reader #kirishima x black reader #kirishima x poc!reader #kirishima x reader #midoriya x black reader #midoriya x poc!reader #midoriya x reader

[fruiitycas]

Hello, I would love to know about the dtscu; can you please enlighten me? ❤️️

oh of course i love spreading the good word of our lord taylor swift. the dtscu refers to the “destiel taylor swift cinematic universe” and is a collection of songs that ms swift has written that I think directly apply to destiel (its okay ms swift i saw your lyrics you can come out as a destiel shipper). i also tag destiel edits that use taylor swift songs/lyrics to make a whole collection of works that ppl have made that combine t swift w destiel. 

this is the link to the playlist with all the destiel songs in my dtscu. (more details under the cut)

some notable additions to the playlist: 

dont blame me (Echoes, love your name inside my mind / Halo, hiding my obsession //  baby, for you, I would fall from grace / Just to touch your face //  Don't blame me, love made me crazy / If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right / Lord, save me, my drug is my baby / I’d be usin' for the rest of my life)

peace (And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences / Sit with you in the trenches / Give you my wild, give you a child / Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other / Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother / Is it enough? / ‘Cause there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west / I’d give you my sunshine, give you my best / But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me / But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm / If your cascade ocean wave blues come / All these people think love's for show / But I would die for you in secret / The devil's in the details, but you got a friend in me / Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?)

false god (Remember how I said I'd die for you? // They say the road gets hard and you get lost when you're led by blind faith //  But we might just get away with it / Religion's in your lips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship / We might just get away with it / The altar is my hips / Even if it's a false god / We'd still worship this love)

sparks fly

safe and sound

ivy (How's one to know? / I’d meet you where the spirit meets the bones In a faith forgotten land / In from the snow / Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow Tarnished but so grand // Oh, goddamn / My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand / Taking mine, but it's been promised to another / Oh, I can't / Stop you putting roots in my dreamland / My house of stone, your ivy grows / And now I'm covered in you // How's one to know? / I’d live and die for moments that we stole / On begged and borrowed time //  it's a war / It's the goddamn fight of my life / And you started it / You started it)

this love (In silent screams / In wildest dreams / I never dreamed of this // This love is good / This love is bad / This love is alive back from the dead / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me / This love left a permanent mark / This love is glowing in the dark / These hands had to let it go free, and This love came back to me)

cowboy like me (You're a bandit like me / Eyes full of stars / Hustling for the good life / Never thought I'd meet you here / It could be love / We could be the way forward / And I know I'll pay for it / And the skeletons in both our closets / Plotted hard to mess this up // Now you hang from my lips Like the Gardens of Babylon / With your boots beneath my bed / Forever is the sweetest con / I’ve had some tricks up my sleeve / Takes one to know one / You're a cowboy like me / And I'm never gonna love again / I’m never gonna love again)

there are also notable subsections: 

The Divorce Arc:

i wish you would (I wish you would come back / Wish I'd never hung up the phone like I did / I wish you knew that / I’d never forget you as long as I'd live / And I wish you were right here, right now It's all good / I wish you would / I wish we could go back / And remember what we were fighting for / Wish you knew that / I miss you too much to be mad anymore)

my tears ricochet (I didn't have it in myself to go with grace / ‘Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave / And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? / Cursing my name, wishing I stayed / Look at how my tears ricochet / And I can go anywhere I want / Anywhere I want, just not home / And you can aim for my heart, go for blood / But you would still miss me in your bones / And I still talk to you when I'm screaming at the sky)

i almost do (And I just wanna tell you / It takes everything in me, not to call you / And I wish I could run to you / And I hope / you know that every time I don't / I almost do)

all you had to do was stay

death by a thousand cuts

story of us (This is looking like a contest / Of who can act like they care less / But I liked it better when you were on my side // Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room / And we're not speaking / And I'm dying to know / Is it killing you like it's killing me? // And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now)

the other side of the door (tell me why you couldn't see That when I left I wanted you to chase after me? / I said leave but all I really want is you / To stand outside my window, throwing pebbles, screaming I'm in love with you / Wait there in the pourin' rain, come back for more / And don't you leave 'cause I know all I need is on The other side of the door)

come back…be here (this is when the feeling sinks in, I dont wanna miss you like this / Come back… be here)

The Widower arc/ Post 15x18:

haunted ( I know, I just know You're not gone, you can't be gone, no // Come on, come on, don't leave me like this / I thought I had you figured out / Can't breathe whenever you're gone / Can't go back, I'm haunted / You and I walk a fragile line / I have known it all this time)

marjorie (What died didn't stay dead / You're alive, you're alive in my head / What died didn't stay dead //  You're alive, so alive //  If I didn't know better / I’d think you were still around / I know better / But I still feel you all around / I know better / But you're still around)

Cas to Dean:

tied together with a smile (no one knows / That you cry; but you don't tell anyone / That you might not be the golden one / And you're tied together with a smile / But you're coming undone // I guess it's true that love was all you wanted / ‘Cause you're givin' it away like it's extra change / Hoping it will end up in his pocket)

innocent (Wasn't it beautiful when you believed in everything / And everybody believed in you? / It's alright, just wait and see / Your string of lights is still bright to me / Oh, who you are is not where you've been / You're still an innocent //  Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again)

enchanted (This is me praying that this was the very first page / Not where the story line ends / My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again / These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon/ I was enchanted to meet you)

everything has changed (all ive seen since 18 hrs ago is green eyes and freckles and your smile in the back of my mind making me feel like i just wanna know you better now)

mirrorball(Hush / I know they said the end is near / But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes / Spinning in my highest heels, love / Shining just for you //  I'm still a believer but I don't know why / I've never been a natural / All I do is try, try, try / I’m still on that trapeze / I’m still trying everything / To keep you looking at me )

Dean to Cas:

untouchable (I know you're saying / That you'd be here  / But you're Untouchable / burning Brighter than the sun / Now that you're close / I feel like coming undone)

mine (You learn my secrets and you figure out why I'm guarded / You say we'll never make my parents' mistakes // Do you remember, we were sittin' there, by the water? / You put your arm around me, for the first time / You made a rebel of a careless man's careful daughter / You are the best thing, that's ever been mine )

state of grace (So you were never a saint / And I've loved in shades of wrong / We learn to live with the pain / Mosaic broken hearts / But this love is brave and wild / And I never saw you coming / And I'll never be the same)

this is me trying (This is very specifically The Trap!Dean) (Pulled the car off the road to the lookout / Could've followed my fears all the way down / And maybe I don't quite know what to say / But I'm here in your doorway / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / I just wanted you to know / That this is me trying / They told me all of my cages were mental / So I got wasted like all my potential / And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad / I have a lot of regrets about that)

the archer (Combat, I'm ready for combat / I say I don't want that, but what if I do? / ‘Cause cruelty wins in the movies / I’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches I almost said to you  // And all of my heroes die all alone / Help me hold onto you / I've been the archer / I’ve been the prey / Screaming, who could ever leave me, darling? / But who could stay? // Who could stay? / You could stay)

#ask #theirprofoundbond #dtscu #destiel

[1-800-i-ship-it]

rose-coloured goggles: what’s one risk you took that ended up being completely worth it? | grin: what was the last thing that made you smile - really smile? | cookies: chocolate chip or blueberry?

thanks for the ask resiot! 

 im answering rose-coloured goggles last and out of order bc i rambled way too much xD

grin: does this count? also when i saw this ask and a) noted that u asked it almost immediately after i rb-ed and b) saw you asked this question i did grin too hehe :D 

cookies: that is such a hard question xD i think im going with chocolate chip bc i could eat that stuff for days on end haha its so goooood dammit i want a cookie now 

have a virtual cookie too resiot 🍪(lactose-free) 

rose-coloured goggles: uhh hmmm putting myself out there for a series of social events at a club at my uni that i wasnt sure if i should commit to but i was like well why not make some new friends and though zoom speed dating was  pretty daunting and my heart was pounding throughout the awkward social interactions, it was worth it cause i did get to meet some new people and get a  “big” plus a “sib”! it wasn’t rushing or anything close to that level of commitment (that stuff is scary ahaha) but it was like a big/little event just for the club, and even though i felt like i embarassed myself a lot (rip)  im glad i did it and stepped out of my comfort zone; also i realize i still dont really have a “completely worth it moment” yet so heres another story if u wanna hear more rambling:

idk if this counts as a risk, but i was about to go to a travel swim meet (6th grade i think?) and my friend literally just told me that she wasnt going after she promised me she would and she was the only friend i had who i knew was going so naturally i was like omg ahhhh like who am i going to hang out with?? how to social?? and then i didnt want to go anymore bc i was too scared but its not like i could back out bc my parents already paid for it plus i already signed up for events and my coach was expecting me to be there, so i went. 

the morning of, my mom was dropping me off at the bus but i didnt have anyone to sit with and i was too scared to ask anyone so my mom was like, hey that girl looks like she’s alone, want to ask her to sit with you? and lemme tell u my little heart was pounding so hard bc even tho im shy now i was a lot shyer before so i was like omg what if she says no what if she says no what if she judges me and! she said yes! and we hung out together at the meet sometimes (i was still too shy so uh i turned down her offers of me joining her and other ppl bc those were,,,fast swimmers and i was intimidated so i just played games on a tablet i was actually able to borrow for once on a trip bc my parents knew my friend ditched me and i didnt know anyone OTL)  

fast forward like 1 year later we’re in the same swim group (also we went to the same middle + high school), and we become super close friends! still are to this day, and i am super glad i met her <3

...haha thanks for reading through all that 😅also i hope u enjoyed the drunk squirrel if u clicked on the link hehe

#bluris answers asks #resiotcage #resiot #shes also one of two friends irl who know about my tumblr so yeah haha #welcome to another episode of Blu Overshares Like a Dumbass #xD #thanks for the ask! #go to sleep soon :PPP #(also i think it was lactose free stuff? sorry if i remembered wrong)

[arcenergy]

OC personality questions for Mustard: #7, 13, 18, 42?

7. What makes them laugh?

mustard has a very blunt and dry sense of humor and being able to bounce off someone with a similar sense in humor is usually what makes him laugh. but with that being said there are people who never fail to put a smile on his face..primarily those ppl have always been cayde/saint/his ghost. 

13. Do they have any loyalties?

he USED to although in the present it’s a bit..complicated. he used to be wholly devoted to the vanguard and being a guardian and would always wait for what they had to say and etc etc but his faith was shaken pretty heavily after forsaken bc he felt very isolated in his grief y_y 

he walked away from the Guardian Life for a smidge and mostly hung around the drifter. i wouldnt say that he was loyal to him by any means but more like mustard couldnt bring himself to care and just wanted an easy way out of doing guardian shit and they just bummed around the solar system and mustard took care of the derelict and any taken related issues while drifter ran gambit. but eventually the drifter finally gets on mustard’s nerves and he realizes that he’s just as miserable with him as he was on the shore and he’s tired and angry and homesick so he slowly starts integrating himself back into the tower and doing guardian stuff again.

id say by like Present Day Destiny Lore (aka before beyond light) he’s mostly loyal to the vanguard although he has his own grievances against them (the lore where the praxis order investigates the young wolf makes me keel over every time i think about it) but he wouldnt be here if he didnt think that they had good intentions or that some of their work was beneficial but at the same time if he hardly ever waits for permission to do anything and 99% just decides to fuck off and do whatever he thinks is right. 

18. What makes them consider someone a friend?

mustard has ‘friends’ but then he has FRIENDS you know. the ride or die mfs..just to be around someone whose presence isnt stifling and yet at the same time they can step up and be there for people whenever they need to. trust is a very meaningful term to mustard and so for him to hear that he’s trusted or for him to say it to someone means he is Committed

42. What brings them comfort when they are distressed?

his ghost oh my god dont get me started i love ghosts like in general...;_________;

other than that he likes to fuck off to the edz a lot during his free time but esp when he’s stressed and find some quiet abandoned place and sit for awhile. he likes all of the trees and rolling hills and is actually pretty knowledgable on local wildlife 

#misc #asks #destiny #mustard #ty >:) #synnthamonsugar

[t-underneaththeradardancing]

idk   can that b a 3 word 3 letter story   -  wuznt even a has been so u think imma sell out at 66   - it wuz fun for a minute  and i like or love  a few of the ppl - its jest so agro specially the skaterz who b tweaking ( not all skaterz lol  - specially not the mad skillz ones) and they just young testosterone fueled and trynna have fun  - who am i to critique the style of crash and burn 

other plusses - trouble w new pa - after a couple songs sound degenerated - liam knob twiddled and checked cords plugs - little improvement - he got a bit flustered  - ok - here is the plus  - even after wat seem like forever frustration  - he stay cool - just sat back for a second thinking - try this and that - its better - a few more songs then again - still cool - he check the operating manual only available online in a format not xacty designed for dyslexic  and gets sound right - better than its been all evening   - despite agro vibe everybody cool wats a little slam dance between frends   - i mostly hung outside - it was a small crowded space  and hot as fuck specially for sf - no ac - it got over 93 i think no breeze  - the space had a doorway no window ventilation that i saw - no ac not even a fan  - malik actually asked ppl to clear the room 2x just so ppl wouldnt b too overheated - bottled water was supplied free  - as the oldest person there yah i got some wtf’s looks  but not as many as u might think  - and i mean i am ez 40 yrs older than the next oldest who was streaming on utube  - then the store owner im prob 35 yrs older  - after that i doubt there were more than a couple actually drinking age  - tho that didnt stop the somewhat discrete brown bag 40s passed around  - to start i came just 5 min b4 srs music was to start so lots of the kidz saw me w the main performers  - exchanging hugs hand clasps and demonstrations of luv  - very diverse crowd performers  audience - so in general accepting and a few kidz i have seen around but dont know but they r used to me   

still - wuz mostly bored after a few songs - watching the dancers and malik was entertaining  - t not stupid enuff to b the old white guy dancing  even for a minute - and i prolly wooda got myself hurt lol   - left early during a break  - one of the the kidz like about t iz he leaves early and duznt fuck up their fun  - lol - truth tho they would deny it - laffing 

sadly - except for showing love by showing up  - there just really isnt any place for me in that world  as a performer  - liam supplies the stunt guitar while operating efx w the dj tae and sound  - maybe we could sample t blues cuz liam can play almost anything but straight up blues  ( and harmonics  - t is rilly into harmonics )  better - oh maybe really down and dirty sloppy rock but i dont know many rappers into  neil jung   - i like the fashion but do i have any fukken idea wat gonna sell to 18 yr olds - uh thats a no t dont even think about it just cuz someone complimented ur shirt  - maybe pricing and the economics but right now they doing dirt cheap recycled mostly  - cant fault liam - he went for low hanging fruit when it came along  ( i had a long talk about wild cards and low hanging fruit just as we were starting - it seemed to stick ) and vita in india  and t trynna get better from sciatica which by july was almost crippling  - making it 2 blocks w my guitar exhausted by the time at wherever playing w busses even taxis part way -  he had no choice but to step up and was given free rein  - wtf wuz u thinking t   - i wuznt - barely could triage daily the essential like water   and cat food  and litter that was a hard one 

wat gonna happen down the line  - fuck me i dont even know for sure about tomorrow tho i believe vita and i will play java like usual - maybe the last time in a while 

another performance showing up alone at least partial victory  - then there at least the chance of love and magic 

fuck its 123 am - theres a kitty she is such a good one 

love 

#poetry i guess

[heroin-antiheroine]

had a weird n wonderful nye night last night. met up with 4 other smackheads n beautiful ppl & went wandering rly. we walked for miles in search of a free party after the one we were supposed to be goin to was shut down early. we didnt find anything where they normally are, but we picked up a random straggler who was kicked out of a local event for being too ketty. we walked more & accidentally headed out of town across the bridge & saw the city & it was so beautiful at night. then we walked back, ran into some dude who was clearly k-ed off his head. he said there was a party at a local swingers club & we wanted to go, so he tried to show us the way in exchange for some of my mate’s k. we walked thru a housing estate & found a random girl who was crying. she’d been beaten & strangled by her bf & had stabbed herself in the stomach. she was alright tho, it wasnt bad. she kept hugging me, it made me rly sad. we wanted to help her but she was just there to pick up crack so we all understood. we didnt find the swingers party but we went to a local pub where they had a night on. did some dancing even tho the music was shite. my 2 other friends called us about a squat party but by then it was fuckin late & me & my mate needed a hit so we had to go back. we did massive shots to see in the night & i almost ended up fucking him but idk i dont wanna fuck things up by doin that like i did with another friend recently. he’s a rly cool guy, a 50 yr old punk who’s hung out with jello biafra. n a fuckin lush person. a friend of mine posted a pic of the squat party on fb this morning & it looked fun so that kinda sucks but honestly i just had fun walking for miles in the cold with all the beautiful lights & taking in the city that i love so much. i’m so happy to be here & surrounded by such positive ppl....& it’s amazing & funny to me that these guys, who are all heroin addicts, are the most positive ppl ive met in my life. & it’s like a beacon of happiness & everything can be good. i hope all u guys had a fun night too, bless u all i love u <333

#junkie ramblings #legit my ramblings #but im rly happy i went out #& me & my friend spent all day watching rick & morty hahaha #lush day chilling today #i did coke last night hahah i never do coke #ended up gettin a bit prangy at my friend's house #decided only to do one bump & not any more bc of it #it didnt seem worth it #uppers kinda suck honestly

[ftxsilas]

HEY FAM IT’S WILLOW AGAIN !!! i play xiao from neo ( winwin fc ) and now i bring you silas, orion’s lead vocal and dos’ main vocal and center in mobius entertainment ! your local videography, variety, and vocal king ! his stats / points / plots ; you can read more about him under the cut ~

as usual, his full bio is on this page and i’d recommend reading that instead of the summary below, but if you don’t wanna read all that gunk here’s a summary of his background!!

this is just background stuff so if u read the post above u can just skip down to where the personality info is!!!

his parents died when he was five and he had to go to seoul and live with his grandparents who were really strict and kept him on a very short leash which he was not happy about

they gave him a strict schedule and he had to keep at it, but he did his best bc he didnt want to upset them.

he did really well in school, was really popular with his classmates bc he was very fun loving and energetic. he was even a favorite of his teachers bc he was really smart and excelled in every subject! he smort

when he was ten his grandparents hired a piano instructor so he could take piano lessons between the time he’s finished doing his homework and dinner time, bc they didn’t like him having so much free time. he finished his homework quickly so he cOULD have free time, and they just. tore it away from him. smh.

i can’t word it any better than i already did so i’m gonna copy this next part from his bio:

“his instructor is immediately smitten with him despite the fact that he’s a slow learner, but when she has him sound out the notes he’ll play, his voice melts her heart. it’s high, and untrained, but she can see potential in him.“

so she tells his grandparents that he has a real potential for singing and that she loves his voice and could tutor him with that as well, but they tell her to just do the job they’re paying her for and dont worry about stupid stuff like that. they want him to play the piano, not to sing.

she says fuck it and starts giving him free vocal lessons alongside the piano lessons, and his voice flourishes under her teachings and she tells him that he could be a big star one day with a voice like his

when he’s fifteen someone came along to a lesson of theirs one day, and she told him it’s just a friend of hers. he paid no mind to it and they went on as they usually do, practicing the piano for a bit and then he goes on to sing a few songs for them. at the end, he gets a business card for killjoy creative and is told to give them a call when he wants to audition.

he does end up calling, but unfortunately for him it’s after they claimed bankruptcy and can’t afford to take in any new trainees. to a fifteen year old, it sounds like they’re just making excuses and don’t want him anymore.

from then on out, he stopped picking up his instructor’s calls, and his grandparents stop paying her when shihyun wouldn’t even brother to come out of his room when she came over for their next couple of lessons. he blamed her for them turning him down, even though it wasn’t her fault.

he gave up on his dream for a couple of years, even though he continued playing the piano and singing in his free time.

a couple of months before he graduated, he got a call from an unknown number and it turned out to be his instructor. he hadn’t heard from her in about three years, and he almost hung up on her but for some reason, decided to listen. a friend of a friend of hers was starting a company called mobius entertainment, and she thought of him to go audition for it. she gave him the contact info for the company and the location of the auditions, and he went for it.

he got it, of course, but his grandpa was lessss than thrilled. he wasn’t happy at all about him pursuing singing, and would tell shihyun that he was wasting his time and would amount to nothing and that he should go for something like making his own business instead. why would he throw away all of his smarts just to become a puppet on stage??

he was only a trainee for a year before orion debuted, and he was given the stage name ‘silas’. it wasn’t exactly his choice. the company thought up the name, slapped it on his profile, and told him that was going to be the name he had to go by now.

he was easily loved for his fun personality and became popular in variety shows! he also comes to love directing, and over the years gets a lot of tips from directors he works with and looks up to and starts building up his resume for it by offering tips and ideas every now and then.

he did his military service from 2014-2015 and since he’s been back, has been focusing on dos promotions, variety shows, hosting, and videography / directing.

during his military service, his grandpa died ( late 2015, and he was discharged early for it ), and silas really regrets shoving his fame in his face instead of making amends, but silas was too prideful ( n still kind of hurt ) and his grandpa was too stubborn to admit that he was wrong. he’s been taking care of his grandma since then, even though he can’t see her as often as he’d like to.

WHEW. THERE WE GO. NOW ON TO THE PERSONALITY STUFF

silas is really funny and with how smart and talented he is, too, he’s majorly adored by the public and i’m gonna try and get ahold of the nation’s husband title bc. that’s what he is ok. he’s prime hubby material.

he doesn’t get incredibly close to people. ever since losing his parents as a kid, he keeps most people at arm’s length because he doesn’t want to deal with loss again.

you have to be reallllllllyyyyyyyy important for him to want to get close to you. he has to like you a lot to want to get over his fear of abandonment to get to know you deeper than surface level and actually care. that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have friends, of course he has friends. he actually has tons of friends and acquaintances, but. a hundred pennies is nothing like four quarters, yknow?

your muse could consider silas to be a really close friend of theirs, he knows everything about them and more, and yet with him they’ve barely scratched the surface and while he’s really fun and funny with them, he never gets any deeper than that. he’s kind of like a dark tinted window, where he can see out but you can’t see in. people will only know what he wants them to know.

he shows affection and remorse and most feelings by buying ppl things. if he hurt your feelings he doesn’t really care that much bc he’s not that close to you to care, but here’s a rolex or here’s a versace dress. material things and money don’t really matter to him at all, but he knows it’s important to most other ppl so that’s why he does it.

he’s kind of annoying and loud and a bit egotistical?? he sorta expects everyone to know him and fall at his feet bc he’s been around for so long and knows what it’s like to be on top of the world w orion/dos

oh yeah he has two cats. they’re his life. one is named cinna and the other is monnie. yes it’s a pun on cinnamon. he knows conversational english and it’s one of his favorite words. he just thinks it’s neat.

for my astrology hoes: he’s aquarius sun, gemini moon, and capricorn rising. yikes.

SO. there we go! he’s very attention seeking and always cracks jokes and tries to be hip like all the cool kids these days but he’s rly just an annoying old man so im sorry for him

BLEASE hit me up on discord to plot!!!! ( warfaire#3147 ) i would love to plot w everyone!!