#and the worst part? my coworkers are fucking BUYING IT

[authenticalt]

The AI generated ~Positivity Reminder~ work texts sure feel genuine (sarcasm)

#mother fucker you are not my friend and chat gpt #which I KNOW you used to write that #sure as HELL is not my friend #fuck off with that shit #and the worst part? my coworkers are fucking BUYING IT #how can you be so blind and stupid??? #if you want me to 'bring ~positive vibes~ to the work place' #maybe start with fucking listening to me in meetings. give me a goddamn raise. tell the COO to COMPLETELY fuck off. #or any number of actually influential things. #this was the absolute quickest way you could have made me go from neutral to full on 'i hate your guts and im quiting' #(unfortunately i connot quit quite yet but im working on getting my shit in line so when that time comes im ready) #based on the standard pay for someone in my psoition i should be making $70k a year. im making less than half of that.

[storiesforallfandoms]

i need someone older ~ william afton;five nights at freddy's

word count: 3794

request?: no

description: after a bad breakup, she finds herself becoming more and more attracted to her much older boss

pairing: william afton x female!reader

warnings: swearing, age gap (reader is mid 20s, afton is 50s), power imbalance technically (but it's fine), bit of an au (so he doesn't unalive anyone in this one)

masterlist (one, two, three)

I stormed into work, really pushing it for time. I had slept past my alarm and was incredibly reluctant to get out of bed. After the night I had, the last thing I wanted was to work eight hours in a children's restaurant, with screaming kids and the animatronics playing the same three songs all day. But I needed the money, and hopefully a distraction.

"Whoa, who pissed in your Cheerios this morning?" my coworker, Adam, asked.

"Fuck off," I muttered. "I gotta go change into my uniform. Can you punch me in so I'm not late?"

"Yeah. Be quick, though. Afton's here."

I rolled my eyes. "He doesn't even know our names. He's not going to know I'm supposed to be on the clock."

I changed as quickly as I could while having limited space in a tiny bathroom stall. I stuffed my clothes into my backpack and did a quick double check in the mirror to make sure I was work appropriate. I wasn't paying enough attention as I stepped out of the bathroom and managed to literally run into someone who was walking past. I cursed under my breath as I looked up and came face to face with the fucking owner of Freddy Fazbear's.

As if this day couldn't get any worse.

"|'m so sorry, Mr. Afton," I said.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "Where's the fire, though? You seem like you're in a hurry."

How do I answer this without getting in shit? "I'm just, uh...trying not to be late. I had to change, and bring my bag to my locker."

William looked down at his watch. I felt my heart starting to pound.

"Cutting it a little close there," he commented.

"I know."

My grip on my bag had tightened as I braced for the worst. I had never met William before. Despite owning the restaurant, he was rarely ever around. Whenever he was, he was usually tucked away in his office for most of the day and only ever spoke with our manager. Due to this, I didn't know if he would be a hard ass who was about to write me up for running late. After the events of the previous night, I didn't think I'd be able to take getting reprimanded today.

He took me by surprise when he smiled and said, "Just don't let it happen again, okay?"

I nodded, unable to form any words, and scurried around him to the lockers.

Adam looked at me when I finally returned to the floor. "What took you so long?"

"I ran into Afton," I responded.

His eyes widened. "Did he give you shit?"

"Luckily no. Just told me not to let it happen again."

"I warned you that he was here."

I flipped Adam off when I was sure none of the kids could see me.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, my manager came to tell me that I was stationed on the prize counter for the day. The prize counter was probably the worst part of the restaurant. There was never any downtime at the counter. Either there was rowdy children hopped up on candy and pizza screaming about wanting toys they didn't have enough tickets for, or there were tired parents wanting to buy tokens for the arcade games while their rowdy kids were nearby screaming. Not to mention it was right next to the main stage, so the sound of screaming children was only matched by the sound of pre-recorded music coming from the animatronics' speakers. And to top it all off, the closing duties for the prize counter took longer than any other section of the restaurant.

It was the worst section to work, and I already wanted to leave just knowing that was my station for the day.

The only plus side was that being kept busy made the day fly by. But the usual craziness of Freddy Fazbear's was extra unbearable to a point where I felt myself on the edge of tears numerous times. I knew it was going to be a bad idea for me to be at work, and I was really regretting coming in.

I let out a sigh of relief as the last family finally left and the animatronics finally powered down. Adam laughed at me as I put my head down on the cool glass that held the prizes. "You're giving yourself more work to do."

I looked at the smudge I had left on the glass before glaring up at him. "I don't think my one smudge is making things any worse."

"Okay seriously, what is up with you? You've been grumpy all day."

I sighed and shook my head. "I had a bad night."

"Do you want me to help you close up so you can get out of here sooner?"

I gave him a look. "We both know you don't actually want that."

"But I'd do it to help you."

"I appreciate it, but I'll be fine. My annoyance and desire to leave will make me work faster."

Adam didn't fight me on it anymore. He said goodnight and clocked out. Once I heard the front door close and lock, I immediately got to work with cleaning. That was the easiest part as all I had to do was clean the glass of the prize case and pick up the discarded tickets from the floor. When I finished that, I started counting the cash in order to close it off. That was supposed to be another easy task, but my mind being anywhere but the task at hand made it so much harder.

Restocking the prizes was the hardest part. I had been on my own for nearly an hour, and I was both mentally and physically exhausted, so I was trying to rush out of there but found myself fumbling a little extra. I was trying to dump a box of tiny soldier toys into their respective bin when the box slipped from my hands and landed on its side, the toys scattering all over the floor.

It was my breaking point. Everything finally came crashing down around me and the flood gates finally opened. I lowered myself to the floor, sitting with my back against the counter. I buried my head into my hands and began to sob.

"Seems like a bit of a strong reaction to dropping some toys."

I jumped and looked towards where the voice had come from. I was sure I was the only one left in the restaurant, everyone else having left while I was doing my closing duties. Even my manager had left, giving me the keys and the code to the security system. But, turns out, I was wrong, because there was William Afton leaning over the counter to look down at me.

I quickly scrambled to my feet, wiping the tears from my face. "S-Sorry Mr. Afton. I-I didn't realize - "

"Hey, it's okay," he said, cutting me off and speaking in a soft voice. "What's going on? You seem stressed."

"It's...personal things. I shouldn't have let it interfere with my work."

"Fuck the professional shit for a second here. Forget I'm your boss, forget we're on the clock. If there's anything going on that you want to talk about, I'm all ears."

I leaned against the counter across from him. "It's stupid."

"You're crying, so I don't think it's that stupid."

I sighed. "My boyfriend broke up with me last night, after admitting he's been cheating on me for the last three months."

William whistled in response. "That's tough."

I nodded. "It just...came out of nowhere. We've been together for three years, moved in together last year. There was no signs that anything was wrong. I didn't even suspect that he was cheating. He came home last night and suddenly told me everything. Packed a bag and went to his...I guess...girlfriend's house. Told me he'd be back at some point this week to get his stuff."

Tears were stinging my eyes again. I looked away so William wouldn't see me cry anymore. Upon looking down, I realized my bare arms were on the glass of the prize counter, leaving smudges again. I cursed under my breath and turned to grab the cleaner again.

"Here, let me," William said, reaching for the cleaner. "You pick up the toy soldiers and I'll help restock the prizes once I finish this."

I was a little shocked, but definitely was not about to argue over getting help. We worked much quicker as a team and, finally, I was able to clock out to leave. I stood by as William set the security system and locked the gates.

"Thank you for helping me," I said.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. "It seemed you needed help, and I wasn't about to let one of my employees struggle while I was on the property." I smiled at him and started for my car. "For what it's worth - " I paused and turned back to him. " - your ex-boyfriend is a fucking idiot. You seem like a great woman. Don't beat yourself up over him."

He smiled and turned to walk towards his own car. I watched him go, surprised by what he said. Even through the cold night air, I could feel my face burning.

~~~~~~

William was around more after that. Not just in his office, but he was actually out on the floor. Everyone was noticing his increased presence, but I found myself noticing it in a different way. Whenever William was near, my eyes were practically glued to him. I found it difficult to concentrate whenever he was around. Luckily, everyone else was so distracted by his presence that they didn't notice how useless I had become.

It was wrong. I knew that. Having a crush on a coworker was bad enough, but a crush on your boss was a whole other level of bad. Especially when your boss is so much older. I had no idea whether or not he was even married or had kids for God's sake!

But every time I saw him, I couldn't stop my heart from racing. I wanted him in a way I knew I shouldn't, but I couldn't stop myself.

During one of my shifts, I was put on the serving section. Serving was easy enough - take orders, bring food, check on tables. The hardest part was trying not to trip over a child running past while carrying a whole pizza on a hot tray. Most of us had learned the art of scanning the area before we walked, but sometimes you just don't notice quick enough and end up surprised by one of those little fuckers.

One of the cooks passed a pizza through the pass to me and told me the table number. I took the tray and balanced it against my shoulder, something I found was the easiest way to balance the bigger trays. The restaurant wasn't too busy, but there were still enough kids running around that I took in my surroundings before I started to walk. I was making a mental note about two kids who were stood by the stage, dancing to the song that Freddy was "singing", and didn't notice another kid who was racing from one of the playrooms in front of me. I stopped suddenly, just short of running into him, but found myself losing my balance after he ran past.

I felt two hands grab hold of my waist, holding me upright and saving me from a very embarrassing scene. When I turned to thank my savior, I came to face the blue eyes I had been trying to desperately to avoid today.

"That could've been a disaster," William said, a hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Th-thank you," I managed to stutter out. I could still feel the heat of his hands against my waist, like they were burning through the clothes and searing my skin. I almost forgot the heavy tray of pizza I was carrying in that moment.

When he let me go, his eyes still trained on me, I quickly turned and hurried to my table. I tried not to seem so flustered, but I knew I had failed. I stuttered through every sentence before finally dismissing myself to the prize counter where one of my other coworkers, Beth, was snickering to herself.

"What was that about?" she asked.

"Don't ask," I responded.

"Oh, I'm asking. Are you all hot and bothered for Afton?!"

"Shh!" I snapped, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one had heard. Not like anyone would over the usual noise of the restaurant.

"Oh, you so are!" she said. "Holy shit, (Y/N), you know that's bad news right? He's literally our boss."

"I know he is. I'm not stupid. But...I can't help it!"

"At least he would be more of a gentleman than that small dick asshole you call your ex." She looked over her shoulder as the front door to the pizzeria opened. When she looked back, her eyes were wide. "Speak of the devil."

I looked over to see none other than the small dick asshole himself, Josh, walking in. I wished I could disappear into the floor and never be seen again. I tried to turn and walk away before he spotted me, but no luck.

"(Y/N)!"

I groaned and turned back to him. "What do you want, Josh?"

"I was just over getting the last of my stuff - "

"Awesome, I do not care. If you've come to give me your key back, you could've just left it on the dining room table."

"No, I came to say that I couldn't find my Springsteen album."

I furrowed my eyebrows and crossed my arms. "So you came all this way to...what? Ask me what I did with it? I have no idea, Josh, I threw everything that was yours into boxes and garbage bags. If it's not in there, you might've left it in your car or at your new girlfriend's house."

"It's not any of those places." I wasn't sure if I should've been hurt about the fact that he wasn't addressing my last comment directly, but I definitely was a little bit.

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"I wanted to see when you were going to be off work and maybe I could come by to look for it with you."

I scoffed. "Are you serious right now? Josh, I don't know what the fuck happened to your album, but you're sure as hell not coming over to the house. That is not your place anymore, and you're very much not welcome there."

"Why can't we be adults about this?"

"You lost the right to being adult about this the second you decided to cheat on me! And how dare you say that shit, but then come down to my place of work to try and, what, harass me into letting you back into my home? We're over, Josh. I don't ever want to see you again. If I find any of your shit left at the house, I'll drop it in the trash."

"What seems to be the problem here?"

I suppressed the urge to groan again. As if things couldn't get any more complicated.

"No problem, Mr. Afton," I said, turning to face William with the best, innocent smile I could muster. "Just an...unwelcome guest."

William looked at me for a moment before letting his eyes wander to Josh. I didn't have to say much else for him to recognize who the "unwelcome guest" was and I could see anger in his eyes.

"Well, time to get back to work, (Y/N)," he said to me. "Your customers are waiting."

I nodded and ducked away from the situation. As I walked away, Josh called after me, "That's fine, I'll be waiting for you to get off! We can talk more then!"

"Like hell you will."

A collective gasp from the parents and Beth cause me to spin around to see William had grabbed hold of the collar of Josh's shirt. William was easily a head taller than Josh, so even if the act wasn't meant to be intimidating, he definitely looked intimidating. I don't think I've ever seen such fear on Josh's face. William turned Josh around and basically dragged him towards the front door.

"If I see you back here, I will have your ass arrested," he said as he threw Josh out of the restaurant. "Are we clear, punk?"

He didn't wait for a response as he pulled the door shut. I could see Josh standing there, a mixture of fear and confusion on his face. William re-entered the main area, still looking angry, but tried to put on his best customer service smile as he addressed his new crowd. "Sorry everyone. Just an unruly customer. Sorry for any trouble."

To me he added, "Come see me in my office, please."

Beth and I exchanged a look before I followed William towards his office. I was so sure he was going to get upset with me. Not only had I brought my personal shit to the restaurant (even though that wasn't my fault), but it had also resulted in a not so great scene in front of the customers. People get to talking, and I was sure that this story was going to be spread through town before the night was out.

The moment I stepped into his office, I set in on the apologies. "Mr. Afton, I'm so sorry about that. I had no idea he was coming. I've been trying to avoid him while he's moving his stuff out and I guess he was getting tired of that or wanted to poke me one last time or something - "

"Did he hurt you?"

I paused my rambling to look up at him. All anger was gone from his face and had instead been replaced by concern.

"What?" I asked.

"Did he do anything to you just then?"

I shrugged. "Not physically. He was definitely still trying to mess with me mentally, though."

William nodded. "Well, he's not welcome on the property anymore. If you see him, you have my full permission to contact the police immediately."

"I...I don't think that's entirely necessary."

"I don't mean to sound like an old man or anything, but I've met plenty of assholes like your ex, (Y/N). You give them an inch and they take a mile. If you don't deal with this now, he will continue to come back and harass you. I don't want that for you. You don't deserve that."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but nothing came out. I was realizing how close we were now. We were mere inches away from one another. If I wanted to, I could just reach out and touch him right now; grab him. I could've kissed him right then and there if I really wanted to. Who would've known?

As if reading my mind, William suddenly reached out and cupped my face. Before I could comprehend what was happening, his lips were on mine. It was kind of ironic, the fact that I had just been thinking about doing this exact thing, but now that it was happening it was like my brain wasn't sure how to comprehend the situation.

William pulled away just as quickly as he had initiated the kiss. He backed away from me, suddenly worried. "I'm so sorry. I...I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that."

In response, I pretty well threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him with such force that it pushed him back into his desk. He positioned himself so that he was sat on his desk and basically pulled me into his lap. It was risky, anyone could've come by and caught us, but something about that just made the experience so much better; so much hotter.

William pulled away first again. I tried to chase his lips with mine, but he pushed me back, chuckling at my eagerness.

"Hold on," he said. "There's some things we have to discuss before this goes any further."

"Please don't tell me you're married," I said.

He laughed. "No, I'm not married. Divorced with a 10 year old daughter. That was the first thing I wanted to discuss, in case single dad is a dealbreaker."

"Very much not a dealbreaker."

"So...the age thing is also not a dealbreaker then?"

I shook my head. "If anything, I think that makes it kinda hotter."

A grin spread on his face. "Okay, I'll keep that in mind. But there is the big issue of the fact that I'm your boss."

It felt like I had been shoved off of cloud nine and come crashing down to earth. For a moment, I had forgotten that part. He was right, that was the biggest issue here. Kind of hard to get around it unless I ended up quitting, which I really did not want to do. It was nearly impossible to find a good paying job these days, and I needed this now more than ever since Josh wasn't going to be splitting rent with me anymore.

I climbed off of William's lap and stood across from him. "I guess...that is a big issue, huh?"

"I just don't want you to feel pressured into anything, and I don't want anyone to look at you any different because you're dating the boss."

I raised a playful eyebrow at him. "You jumped to dating pretty quickly there."

His smile was a little more bashful. "What can I say? I'm old school. I don't believe in hooking up or anything like that. If there's anything going on here, I want you to be able to classify it as a relationship."

In that moment, I found myself wondering why I hadn't always dated older men. I had wasted so much of my time on guys my age when I could've been dating someone who was actually a gentleman and cared about me and my feelings.

"Why don't we see where things go with this, and then we can tackle that big elephant in the room?" I asked.

"I think I can agree to that."

I took a step closer and said, "I really want to kiss you again, though."

He laughed and met me halfway, standing from his desk and taking my face in his hands again. When he kissed me, I felt like I was flying right back on to cloud nine.

#william afton #william afton imagine #william afton x reader #matthew lillard #matthew lillard imagine #matthew lillard x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf #fnaf movie #imagine #one shot #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Escapism

Pairing: Joel Miller x Reader (pre-apocalypse)

Warnings: Smut, 18+, this is truly sinful and unholy but he's probably my favorite dilf as of recent so. Deal with it. There's also a wholesome part to this.

Word Count: 4.5k WHAAAAAAT

Summary: This is from a request from an anon, "Joel Miller smut? Pre-apocalypse literally ANYTHING? Maybe where Sarah has been trying to get them together forever and one night something just snaps?"

Joel was never the most preceptive man.

He could see a fly from a mile away and hit it dead with anything near him but the man could not for the life of him understand the concept of flirting.

Weeks on ends, months even, of flirting with him every time he'd come into my store with Sarah, buying groceries too many times a week for a normal two person, sometimes three person, household. Sarah liked to joke that he only bought a small amount of groceries at a time because he wanted to have a reason to come back and talk to me.

I couldn't believe it at first.

He's nearly a decade older than me, there should be something creepy about it, about him, but there's something about him that draws me in, makes me completely and utterly floored every time he walks into the grocery store with his stupid flannels and stupid polite smile.

Until it became a habit.

He walks into the local store like he knows that I'm waiting for him to show up, to tell me I look pretty, compliment my braids, or ask me about my day. Most of the days it's all three. And though he was good at complimenting, sort of good at smooth talking, he was the worst at realizing when I'm giving him the same attention.

Sometimes I'd unbutton my shirt a few buttons, inviting his gaze to flicker south, though it rarely ever did. Fucking gentleman. Other times I'd conveniently run out of receipt paper and I'd have to bend down carefully, giving him a perfect opportunity to look at my ass, though there was never a chance my coworker was able to catch him in the act.

He's just so polite, never cursing in front of me, never looking away from my eyes, never offending me in any way, shape, or form. It almost makes me feel dirty for the way that I feel about him.

I don't know when it started, when the blushing and bashfulness turned into pure arousal, never being able to look into his eyes for too long without my knees buckling. There's just so much to him, a depth that I want to dive into.

And, I'd like it to be crystal clear, it was Sarah's idea for him and I to have a sort of date.

She pushed him into telling me that he was free nearly every Friday's, that he would be 'doing absolutely nothing' and she complained about how 'bored he typically is without something to do'.

Instead, she slipped up and instead of saying something, she said 'someone'.

Smart ass girl.

It was the push I needed though, to finally tell him that I don't work Friday's and would love to get to know him. Sarah was bubbling with joy at the thought of her dad and I hanging out and I thought it was adorable.

When I got a call from Joel this morning, just calling to tell me that he was excited for tonight and to let me jot down his address (though I already knew it from the membership I talked him into at the grocery store), I was freaked.

Immediately, panic set in, panic that I've never felt before. I've been on dates before, plenty, but there was something about the thought of being in his home, where him and his daughter live, alone with him, with wine. It freaked me out enough that it made me sit in my bathroom an hour before I was supposed to leave, contemplating if I should call him to cancel.

It's safe to say I didn't, I pulled myself from my bathroom floor and to his house, sitting in my car for too long before Sarah knocked on my window with a giggle, asking if I needed help finding the front door.

I didn't know what to do- I felt like a child, standing in the front hall of their home, swaying back and forth, waiting for someone to tell me what to do. For fucks sake, it took me nearly five minutes for me to actually take my shoes off.

"You two have fun! I'll be down the street at Mackenzie's!" Sarah calls out and I can practically hear the dramatic excitement in her voice, only exasperated by the fact that Joel's cheeks are red as can be as he looks out the window, raising a hand to his jaw to conceal his smile.

"Bye kiddo, feel free to not come back tonight." Joel calls out, deep bellowing voice causes my stomach to flip eagerly but it's his words that stop me in my tracts, brows pulling together in confusion.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I ask, hearing the door shut, Joel and I now completely and utterly alone for the night. "What do you got in store?" I lean towards him, watching the way his eyes drag down the slightest bit, watching the way that my breasts swell against my top that I wore purposely to get his reaction. Fucking finally.

"That's not what I meant." He shakes his head firmly, head tilting cutely at me in an attempt to chastise me and my dirty thoughts but I just grin wickedly, loving the way that I have him stumbling over his thoughts and words.

"Mhm." I nod, tossing him a wink as I lean back into his couch, tugging my knees up to my chest in an attempt to get comfortable but all I can feel is the steady throbbing between my legs. "You should've gone with it. I'm up for whatever you've got in store." I take another sip of wine, giving myself an out when he asks why my cheeks are so red and heated.

"Gotta stop talking like that." He mumbles, adjusting himself in his seat so his knees are parted, his body reclining into the couch with ease in an attempt to get comfortable but all I can focus on is how inviting his thighs look, spread apart like that.

A perfect throne for a queen.

"Why?" His brows lift at my question, almost as if he's asking if he really needs to answer it and he doesn't, I know why he wants me to stop talking that way and it's the exact reason while I'll continue regardless. "Does it intimidate you?"

"You've had some wine, you're probably just-"

"Drunk?" I swish my wine glass back and forth, the red liquid sloshing around as his eyes flicker back and forth from the drink to my eyes that are glued on him. "I've had a half of a glass." I deadpan and he scoffs awkwardly, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. "Relax, I"m not coming onto you or anything."

"No? Seems like it." He laughs, loosening up a bit as his arm stretches along the back of the couch, leaving a perfect amount of room for me to slip into the crook of his body and I fight the urge to but fail miserably.

I crawl over to his side of the couch, sitting directly beside him, his arm still staying stretched out behind me, fingers brushing against the back of my neck. He shifts so he can turn the slightest bit towards me, tongue sweeping out across his lips.

"Would you like it if I was?" His face pales, lips parting in silent shock and I giggle, taking another sip for the sake of confidence, my body warming at the drink and my proximity to the man I've pined after for so long.

"Why do you think Sarah's so keen on gettin' us together?" He asks genuinely, his once pointed gaze softening a bit and I feel myself getting more and more comfortable in his presence as the night goes on.

With us getting closer and closer, I feel the oxygen in my lungs begging to escape me, only leaving my lips in gasps as my lips chase his hungrily but there's a part of me that doesn't know if he'd reciprocate it. He's so chivalrous, I wouldn't put him past denying myself and himself a moment to just give in.

"Because she likes me and she wants you to be happy."

"And what do you want?" Joel's eyes leave mine briefly, flickering down to my lips and I feel all of my confidence wash away, the things I had planned in my head, the wishes that I wanted to come true, the things that I desperately needed to tell him- they're all gone. No thoughts can run through my head when he's shyly glancing at my lips, almost as if he wants to lean forward and taste them.

"To be taken care of." The honest answer leaves my lips before I can stop the words and my eyes widen briefly out of fear that he'll run for the hills or blame it on the wine but he doesn't, he just waits patiently for me to explain. It'll take a minute or two in the state that I'm in. "Never been taking care of before, especially by a man."

"That's a shame." He scoffs, setting his glass of wine down, implying something greater than him being done with his drink, especially with the way that his hand comes down to rest inches away from my bare knee.

"All this talent- gone to waste."

"It's just sad to hear a beautiful girl like you doesn't have more men falling over her." His eyes don't meet mine but his words meet my ears and force a shiver down my spine, my body shivering as his hand reaches up to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear, shamelessly and unwavering.

"I don't have a lot of time to notice many men, I guess." My voice quivers more than I wished it would've but I choose to ignore it, my confidence suddenly rising at the realization that this is Joel being handsy; subtle touches along the back of my neck, touching my cheek, fingers brushing against my knee and leaving room for me to fit perfectly in his side.

We've bridged the gap of my checkout counter and scanning belt, now only inches away from each other instead of feet. He's just how I imagined he'd feel as I lift my hand to rest on his chest, briefly brushing over the neckline of his simple t-shirt.

"You noticed me." He mutters bashfully, cheeks heating up once more and his blush crawls down the expanse of his throat and beneath the collar of his shirt.

"Your daughter kind of forced you into my point of view."

"I'm sorry about her." He laughs, looking down at his lap again, nervously toying with his fingers. I reach out to him, setting my small hand atop his, stopping his fidgeting in its tracks and causing his eyes to lift to mine.

"I'm not." I grin, giving his hand a simple squeeze before setting my wine down beside his, opening up my hands and arms for him just in case he wants the opportunity to sink into me.

"You're good at this. I'm a little rusty." He admits bashfully with a soft smile, eyes flickering out the window once more to distract himself, sun setting in the sky as the TV plays quietly in the background.

"That's okay." I whisper, fingers hesitantly reaching out to brush across his jaw and I worry briefly that he'll push me away, tell me that he's not a touchy person, but instead his eyes flutter shut and he leans into my tongue, almost desperately. "I'm not asking for much."

"I know you're not and that's what's fucking scary." He laughs, chest rumbling and I smile, giving him a simple shrug. My simplicity is what I always assumed would bring Joel and I close to each other, neither of us having much time for games especially in the world of dating. "It's easy- being with you, I mean."

"Really? Cuz you're really hard to be with." I tease, watching his eyes widen in brief fear but I put an end to it almost immediately. "I feel like my heart's going to burst out of my chest."

"You're joking?" He asks sincerely, brows tugging together and I laugh.

"I'm not. The amount of times Sarah's muttered 'be cool' to me before you've rolled your cart up to the check out line is too many times to count on two hands." He looks beyond surprised, lips fanning out into a cocky smirk, confidence brightening up his once nervous expression.

"I never knew I had that effect on you."

"Then I've done a good job at not looking like an idiot."

"I'm the idiot." He laughs, leaning into me briefly, hand sneaking around my shoulder so his fingers can draw simple circles on my bicep. "Should've asked you out without the help of my teenage daughter."

"She planned this, didn't she?" I ask with a tilt of my head but I already know the answer, knowing that Sarah has wanted us together for the longest time, making sly comments throughout the months about how much she loves to see her dad so happy. "Us coming together, being alone?"

"Not the smartest idea, huh?" He adjusts in his seat and I eye his thighs carefully but not carefully enough cuz his fingers tap my arm in an attempt to get my attention and I laugh bashfully before addressing his comment.

"Why?"

"I don't trust myself around you." He admits with a heavy sigh.

"Good." I smirk, hands reaching out to massage his shoulder, electricity sparking under my touch and I feel him visibly tense beside me, eyes watching my fingers out of the corner of his eyes. "You need to loosen up a bit."

"Now you're coming onto me." I giggle, leaning into him, tucking my face into the crook of his neck, finally giving into him and he does the same, pulling me into him by the shoulder, arm tightening around me almost as if he's trying to keep me tucked into him.

"Sure am." His large hand soothes over my thighs that are curled up on his own and it makes me freeze, head tilting up so I can look up at him through my lashes, catching the way his eyes flicker down to my lips.

Before I can process it, his lips are on mine, softly and unbelievably timid, his hand gently cupping my jaw while his thumb tucks beneath my chin so he can kiss me better, my whole body frozen in his touch.

He's a good kisser, a better kisser than I would've anticipated, especially with how single he's been for so long. I always thought that it would be me- the experienced one, the confident one- but with his lips on mine I feel completely and utterly at his mercy.

This isn't fair.

Taking a leap of faith, I swing a leg over his thighs, finally sitting where I've wanted to all night, sinking down onto his thighs with a moan, not once slipping from his hungry lips. His hands grip my waist, dragging me against him and a surprised gasp leaves me, lips finally parting from his as I gasp in a few breaths, wide eyes looking back at me.

"Hi." I whisper breathlessly, loving the huge smile that spreads across his lips at my fragile tone and I can feel my body trembling against his, all of my nerves from the last few months coming out all at once.

"You good?"

"I just-" I start but air forces it's way into my lungs in an exasperated gasp. "I've been thinking about this, dreaming about this, for months." His eyes are so incredibly soft as he looks- gazes- adoringly up at me, hands encompassing my hot cheeks in his hands, forcing me to look at him clearer.

"I should've kissed you months ago." I grin obnoxiously into the next kiss he gives me, squealing when he lifts me further into his arms, standing up with almost no hesitation, arms looped around my shaking thighs.

"Where are we going?" I ask with a breathless giggle, holding onto him tight as my fingers card through his hair.

"Depends where you wanna do this?" Fuck. I tuck my face in the crook of his neck, almost needing to hide from him with the way that he's speaking to me, my stomach twisting and legs desperately clenching around his waist.

"Fuck." I whisper, feeling his chest rumble against mine. "I wanna be comfortable."

"Bed it is, then."

By the time we make it to be the bedroom, his hands are pushing the top of my dress down over my shoulders, hungry lips finding purchase on the junction of my neck, biting and sucking a bright red mark into my heated skin.

I can barely keep up with him like this, the way he's already pushing my clothes off, chasing my lips, hands exploring everywhere they can- it's almost overwhelming but I'd never want him to stop.

I fumble with his t-shirt, tugging it over his head with an excited giggle, immediately finding his lips once more after tossing his t-shirt to the ground. I'm pushing him back on the bed before he can take control again, deciding to find my confidence once more as I straddle his hips.

"Is this how we're doing this?" Joel asks, arms tossed over his head and I just take a second to think about how handsome he is, sweaty hair matted to his forehead, eyes completely soft but his pupils are taking up nearly all of his beautiful brown eyes, simply from arousal.

"That okay with you?" I ask, dragging my nails down his chest, seeing soft pink marks in their wake and his eyes widen, lip tucking between his teeth as he watches me grind myself against him, the roughness of his jeans satisfying the need for friction.

"Do you see me arguing?" He asks, brows furrowing in faux confusion and I grin wickedly, fingers toying with the waistband of the denim, watching the anticipatory look pass through Joel's expression.

"Good." I pop the button with ease, the sound of the zipper undoing acting like magic to my ears. "Because I've been thinking about this for months." He helps me kick his jeans off and onto the floor and my mouth waters, seeing the print of his cock beneath his boxers.

"You are gorgeous." The compliment makes me impossibly wetter than I was before, my lips parting in breathy gasps as tug his boxers off, his cock springing up and into my hand.

I grin, taking his breath away as I give him a few strokes for good measure, before lifting onto my knees, not even bothering to take my panties off. I pull them aside, biting my lip to conceal the plethora of curses that want to fly out of me as I drag his cock against my clit, bumping the sensitive bundle of nerves with every stripe I make.

"Fuck, woman, you're killing me." He groans, back arching off the bed as his hands find my thighs, giving them a firm squeeze, urging me to sink down on him and I do, slowly, giving myself time to adjust.

My jaw drops in a silent groan, nothing but a gasped breath leaving me and I firmly plant my hands on his chest, giving myself a moment to think about nothing but the stretch that his cock is giving me.

"Fuck Joel." I whisper, lifting my hips gently as Joel takes control, meeting my thrusts to lift his hip up and against me and he feels deeper and deeper every time our hips meet. His thumb slips down, brushing skillfully across my clit and I fold, my body collapsing on top of his, face tucking into the crook of his neck.

"You wanna keep going?" He asks breathlessly, pressing kisses to my cheek and my hairline, reassuring me and comforting me throughout the way and it makes my heart swell with something greater than care.

"Please just fuck me hard, I need to cum." He flips me on my back in a second, hitting the deepest parts of me as he hikes one of my legs over his hip, biceps tensing as he holds himself up, pounding into me at an unrelenting pace. "Then we can worry about soft."

He takes my words seriously, leaning up so he can look down at me, spine straightening and his hips work like a piston, chest rising and falling in frantic breaths as his head tips back in pleasure, a loud groan leaving him.

We're chasing our highs like we've chased after each other the last few months, all of the pining and shy smiles coming down to this one moment of trust and closeness. It almost makes me emotional to think of how madly in love with him I've been just from afar, that I'm here right now, in his bed with a giddy smile on my lips.

Most people say its impractical that couples can finish at the same time but when I finally topple over the edge, Joel's arms wrapped firmly around my trembling body, it pulls him along with me, cumming with a loud groan.

"Fuck." We whisper at the same time, tipsy, tired giggles leaving us as our hearts pound, coming down from our highs slowly but surely. He rubs my hips soothingly and I begin to feel the familiar ache of my joints after being carried and tossed around, our giggles dying down into small laughs and slowly even that turn into kisses.

"Wanna go to dinner next weekend?" Joels asks, rolling off of me and onto his back and an 'oof', looking to me with a bright grin, his cheeks dusted in a gentle pink.

"Wanna go to dinner now?" I offer, clutching his bedsheets to my chest as I roll onto my stomach, pecking his bicep gently as I curl into his side for the second time tonight.

"Breakfast for dinner?" His eyes widen excitedly at his own offer and I nod, feeling completely and utterly safe and sound in his bed right now. There's no judgment, no worries on my end, just happy to be here after all of this time of wishing I could be with him.

"I adore you."

#joel #joel x reader #joel miller #joel miller x reader #the last of us #the last of us fic #joel miller smut #joel miller x y/n

[no-psi-nan]

Haha no worries! It's downplayed a lot in the series because it's supposed to be a comedy, but when you start looking more closely at the stuff Kuniharu does, it paints a picture of a terrible father and a bad husband too.

It's been a topic on the blog several times, so I'm sure people can chime in with more evidence, but here's what's off the top of my head...

Raised Kusuke. Nuff said tbh lol.

Kuniharu calls Kusuo a monster multiple times and is almost certainly the reason why Kusuke and Kusuo himself believe that Kusuo is an inhuman freak. This attitude is certainly not coming from Kurumi, and nobody else knew about Kusuo's power. From the beginning of the series, Kusuo genuinely believes he's unable to connect with other human beings, and it's mostly because of this attitude inherited from his father.

Kuniharu is never seen attempting to prevent Kusuke from constantly picking fights with his brother, and only attempting to discipline Kusuo for behavior that Kuniharu considers disrespectful to him. This is mostly a fact by omission, but we do see him belittling Kusuke when the kid obviously already has an inferiority problem.

Kuniharu is one of the worst performers at his job and the first to be let go in the case of a crisis. When he loses his job, he's unable to find any others because his only real skill is shoe-licking. This was a parody chapter though so questionably canon. He's always running late for his job though and we see him trying to make a manga artist rip off Naruto, so honestly it makes sense that he's that bad at his job. The only time he's shown as slightly competent at his job was during a parody chapter too hsfjdlshfks.

However what's definitely canon is that he either doesn't make much money or mis-spends most of it. In an area where Nendo's mom, a single woman, and Satou's family, the exact average family, can afford to live, Kuniharu had to take out an 80 year mortgage to pay for a similarly sized home. For context, most mortgages are for 30 years, 15 if you git gud. Btw, the house was literally a gift from Kusuke, Kuniharu insisted on paying out of manly pride or something. Sir, Kusuke is a freaking billionaire and this is like the only single no-strings-attached genuinely kind thing he's ever done hsfjdlshfks

Completely irresponsible with money: has a huge Valentine's day budget for his wife's gift ($3,000 iirc?) and then spends it all at the bar paying for his coworkers' drinks (the same guys who abuse him at his job and think he's garbage). He also spends huge amounts of money on his model figure collection, and has a whole room of gym equipment he never uses. As a result, Kusuo has a very small allowance and for some reason, his one favorite food (coffee jelly) is not included in the grocery list. Even though Kusuo canonically gets insane rock bottom prices for literally everything that gets bought in the household. How do you fuck up so badly financially that you can't buy your clinically depressed son the one (inexpensive!) thing that brings him joy??

By the way, Kuniharu started dating Kurumi when he was a college student and she was in high school. Kusuke was born like a year after they met, so you can do the math about how little time he spent before knocking her up 😬 They basically had a shotgun wedding. No wonder Kurumi's dad is NOT a fan of Kuniharu...

Literally one of the first chapters is Kuniharu and Kurumi domestic violence but make it funny. They're throwing furniture, Kuniharu is breaking the windows, Kurumi is yeeting her husband, and all this shit is over a single coffee jelly, which again, should be a normal part of the groceries for their household. They constantly bring their son into this drama too, which I'm sure is fantastic for his mental and emotional development btw.

There's a manga exclusive chapter that's a parody, so questionably canon, but in it Kuniharu physically attacks Kusuo multiple times over differences in opinion.

However, it IS canon that Kuniharu takes any opportunity to try to physically harm Kusuo. Ex. Hitting him in the massage episode and trying to step on him when he turns tiny.

Canon tries to redeem him a bit by showing moments where Kusuo is a baby and Kuniharu is trying really hard to make him smile because he wants his baby boy to be happy. Unfortunately that just makes it seem like he tried to be a good father for a bit when Kusuo was a baby, and then as soon as Kusuo's powers developed enough to make him miserable (the time when he needs the MOST familial support!), Kuniharu just gives up, and starts using Kusuo as his personal genie in a bottle. While also trying to fix his own fragile ego by attempting to establish dominance over his son. ????? Get therapy bro.

Canon also shows that Kuniharu's love points for Kusuo are the same as for his wife, however, not even Kuniharu believes that, as he tries to run away to evade it hsfjdlshfks. And even if he does love his son that much, he certainly doesn't show it in any meaningful way, because his literal MIND-READING SON doesn't know that. There are plenty of parents who truly love their kids and still abuse them like hell because they think that's the right thing to do (see Kaido's mom being overly strict because she wants to see him succeed in life), so the love points don't mean much imo.

Kuniharu does dole out a couple of pieces of wisdom (at Kusuo's wrong date birthday party and in the volcano arc) but that really doesn't make up for anything and even his wife thinks he's childish so... 🇫

Kuniharu is definitely funny as a character, and like I said, most of this requires digging into canon a little more, but once you start looking, it becomes clear that Kuniharu is just not a good person, father, or husband.

Like, I totally get that having a genius and a god as your kids would not be easy for any parent, but Kuniharu really doesn't try to make life better for either of his sons, preferring to get into petty squabbles with his wife and play video games/build models the rest of the time. I'm not saying dads can't have hobbies, but the only times we see him spending time with Kusuo is usually when he's begging for a favor, and he also clearly does zero housework whatsoever, so...

Anyways, I think Kurumi deserves a better husband and Kusuo deserves a better parent (or at least a break from being used as a magical favor vending machine lol) so I often joke on here that Kurumi should get a divorce and run polls about who she should marry instead and such!

Hope this helps! 👍🏾 Thanks for the question!

#notes to nopsi #kuniharu saiki #saiki k #saiki no psi nan #sknpn #the disastrous life of saiki k. #nopsi meta #tdlosk

[danielfuckingricciardo]

r/relationship_advice - Charles Leclerc x Reader

A collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic

Pairing - Charles Leclerc x Reader

Synopsis - The reader is in a difficult situation, and decides to make a post on Reddit to get help with her predicament. What she doesn’t expect is for people to realise who she is.

Content Warnings - swearing, sexual references

Author’s Note - this is not just a standard fic! This is a collection of Reddit posts, comments, tweets, and fic. Sort of like a collage of different shit all telling one story! Because of this the perspective is different in each part, like the Reddit posts are in first person, and the fic is in second person as usual!

I wanted to experiment with something different structure wise, you know me, I like to fuck with stuff and do weird shit. If high school musical taught me anything, it’s that we shouldn’t stick to the status quo.

Please do tell me if you like the structure, if you don’t, if there’s anything you don’t think works etc! I’d love to do more shit like this so if you have any ideas of what else I could include in one of these (like text messages, DMs, Snapchat, insta stories, whatever) do let me know!

r/relationship_advice • 5d ago

Posted by throwaway27936

My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

I wanna preface this by saying that I’ve been with my boyfriend since I was 18. And I do love him. But last year I managed to bag my dream job and it meant us going long distance.

I wasn’t worried about the whole thing, after all, we’d been together for six years already and lived together for three of them. We had two cats together, and the word on the street was he was thinking of buying a ring to pop the question before I got my job offer.

The job is my dream job, and it’s actually what we had initially bonded over when we were at college together. When I got that email saying the job was mine he was so excited for me, and I was thrilled. It’s what I’d been working towards for so long!

But as things set in for him, and he realised I would be away for weeks and weeks, I could tell something changed. It was like he was faking being happy for me. The proposal never came, I suppose maybe because I was going to be away for days like valentines and both our birthdays, maybe he just couldn’t find the right time? Either that or he didn’t want to be engaged to someone who was hardly around?

He drove me to the airport, and no matter how sad I could see he was feeling, I couldn’t stop my excitement as I jetted off to another country to begin my work! I suppose that didn’t help either, him seeing how pumped I was and not being all tearful and sad to be leaving him. But I couldn’t help it, and I was sad, I just didn’t want to make our parting more upsetting for myself or for him.

The job kept me busy. Like super busy. But I did manage to come home every now and then, to tell him about all the amazing things I’d seen and done, do date nights snuggled up on the couch with our kitties Nemo (4M) and Milo (4M) but something was just… off??

And him being off, not being as affectionate and loving as he used to be, is what drew me to my coworker.

The final nail in the coffin was my trip home during summer last year. My bf and I pretty much argued the entire time, just over little tiny things, until suddenly, he just exploded. He berated me over the fact that I was never home. That he was the one stuck there looking after the cats, living a normal life while I was living my dream and flying around the world with my team.

It hurt, and I’m gonna be honest with you, I said some things I wish I could take back. Mainly along the lines of ‘it’s not my fault you weren’t able to make something of your life like I was.’

I regret saying that. I know that he struggled after college. It was a low blow. But I was angry, because I was living my dream, the dream we had bonded over that night in the sports bar just off campus when we met. He should be happy for me, right?

Well, after I left at the end of summer on a particularly sour note, I was ready to be done with him. I thought I’d give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he’d gotten it all out of his system and that when I returned during a two week break in October, things would be better.

We hardly talked. September meant no FaceTimes, hardly any texts, no likes on my Instagram posts, nothing. Zilch. Nada. I tried, god knows I did. Scrolling through our WhatsApp chat makes me look so fucking desperate but I wasn’t ready to give up.

One day, after another period of being totally ignored, my coworker, who I shall call C, noticed I was upset. Before now I hadn’t spent much time with C as he was far more high profile than me. I worked in the wings but he was the star of the show.

I didn’t mean to trauma dump on him, but all these feelings just kinda came spilling out. I ended up crying on him and getting his shirt all covered in snot. It was gross, I apologised, he said not to worry about it.

The thing about C is, is that he’s beautiful. I know you don’t often see the word beautiful being used to describe a man, but he is. He’s gorgeous. Like don’t get me wrong, my bf is hot too, but C? Damn.

He was so kind to me, he listened, he wiped away my tears, cheered me up, and made me feel better again.

Don’t get me wrong, I would never cheat. I couldn’t. One of my best friends from college had her boyfriend of five years cheat on her and she was heartbroken. I still loved my boyfriend, I couldn’t do that to him. Besides, C himself already had a girlfriend. So anything between me and him was completely off the table.

But that didn’t stop me from catching feelings for C. There’s nothing cheaty about catching feelings, right? Especially when your bf is ghosting you the way mine was.

But C and I became good friends over the time we spent together throughout September after the whole snotty crying situation. He was a good friend, and it was nice to have someone in your corner when all of your normal best friends are halfway across the world.

When I went home in October, I arrived at my bf and I’s flat to find him sat in the lounge, surrounded by packed boxes and suitcases. He told me it was over.

Naturally I cried, I was hoping we’d have a chance to smooth things out, especially over Christmas when I’d have a whole two months to spend at home before I had to be back at work.

My bf showed me a picture on his phone, it must have been from some night out I can hardly remember after a good weekend’s work. And there I was with C. We were just dancing, but his hand was on my waist. Man we must have been so hammered.

My bf assumed I had a thing for him, which I did, but I would never have acted on. But I told him I didn’t, that we were just good friends, which wasn’t a lie. We were good friends, I just happened to fancy the pants off C but only in secret.

He wouldn’t listen to me, told me the whole long distance thing wasn’t working and that I either had to quit my job, or we would have to break up.

I couldn’t quit. I loved my job too much. It was exactly what I had dreamed of since I was a child. I told him that, and he said it was over.

He said he’d look after the cats until I found a new stable home someplace, and that he’d let me store my things in the spare room, but I didn’t live here anymore.

I left for my parents that night, in tears, and texted C. I told him what had happened, and he said I should get out, go visit him at home and keep my mind off of things before we had to travel again.

I knew I shouldn’t have. That it just made C and I’s relationship look even more suspicious. But I was upset, and angry. Besides, I wasn’t the only one at fault. If my bf had just replied to my texts more, and been willing to work harder on the long distance thing, I think we’d still be together now.

But I went to see C. And we had a great week. We hung out, played video games, got drunk, it was great. Of course his girlfriend stopped by every day for a few hours at least, and sometimes I’d be left alone in his apartment while they went for dinner and stuff. And that was when I cried.

I felt guilty for something that was beyond my control. I felt angry because, if my boyfriend had just been more willing to make it work, I wouldn’t have gone crying to C and I wouldn’t have ended up with this big fat crush on him.

By the time it was time to return home, I went and moved all my stuff out of my now ex-bf’s apartment and took the cats to my parents. I spent Christmas with them, and despite how much it hurt being alone surrounded by my family who were all coupled up, I had my work in 2023 to get me through.

But I also had C. We texted, a lot, after the breakup. I think he wanted to make sure I was okay? That I wasn’t feeling down.

But eventually it was my turn to check in on him, as C and his gf broke up. We spent a lot of time on FaceTime that week, being a pair of sad single losers drinking red wine and talking shit. He was my friend, and I cared about him a lot.

Come New Year’s Eve, I was invited to see in 2023 with my closest friends at a party one of them was hosting. And it was there I saw my ex-bf for the first time since I moved out.

I expected he would be there, after all, we had a lot of the same friends. But I was prepared for it. I’d cried my tears out, I’d gotten out all of my frustrations, and so when he asked me out on the balcony for a chat, I said ‘sure, why not?’

Call it a bad idea, call me foolish, but we ended up making out up there. We kissed at midnight that night, and promised to give it all another go. He said he wouldn’t get jealous of me and my job, and I said I’d try to come home more and spend more time with him.

The first week of January, I moved my stuff back into our apartment, brought the cats back from my parents, and we rekindled our relationship. Despite all the pain I went through, I still loved him. And he still loved me.

But then C texted, asked if I wanted to fly over and hang out for a weekend. My bf wasn’t too happy with the idea. He was still convinced I had a thing for C, despite me telling him most certainly that I didn’t. But I did still have a thing for C.

Thing were frosty between me and my bf for a few days, and as I prepared to return to work, he got increasingly more agitated. But eventually, when it came time for me to leave, he cried. I cried and hugged him as we parted at the airport. I promised I would call and text every day, and that I wouldn’t ignore him in favour of work.

I loved my boyfriend, I really did. But then I saw C again. And now I don’t know what to do.

I love both of them, so much, and I don’t know what I want anymore. Is it selfish of me to stay with my bf? Would it be stupid for me to call it quits with him and risk things with C even if he doesn’t feel the same? I’m just stuck in a rut and my emotions are going crazy. Help!

TLDR: my boyfriend thinks I’m in love with my coworker, I say I’m not, but after a shaky period with my bf, I fell for my coworker. Now I don’t know what to do! Help?

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Reindeerbuddy27 • 4d ago

I think your boyfriend sounds like a dick. It was his fault for ghosting you! If he hadn’t have reacted the way he did over summer you would have never bonded with your coworker and caught feelings. IMO you’d be better off breaking up with him and either being single or getting with C, though I’d give him some time to get over his own ex-gf before you try anything!

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Yeah, it kinda was his fault I caught feelings in the first place, you’re right. I wouldn’t say he was a dick, he just missed me I guess and his sadness turned into anger the longer I was away and it just all exploded. Even so, we’re back together and on good terms, and I still love him. I don’t think I could break up with him without a valid reason to do so?

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ReindeerBuddy27 • 3d ago

I get that you don’t want to lose him, but if you’re not fully invested in the relationship with him and want to explore the possibility of having something with C, I think breaking up with your bf would be the fairest thing to do.

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Hmm… maybe you’re right. I need some time to think about it. Thanks for the advice! I really appreciate it! ♥︎

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Pedr0Pascal14 • 4d ago

Would you maybe be able to ask your bf about opening your relationship? Allowing you to pursue things with C to see where they lead while also keeping your bf?

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Throwaway27936 • 4d ago

Definitely not. He’s all about monogamy, and I am too. If I suddenly asked about opening the relationship he’d be even more suspicious of me and my reasons for asking.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

Could you reduce the amount of time spent at work maybe? Like going part time so you’re only away for six months out of the year?

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Throwaway27936 • 3d ago

Sadly it’s not possible. My job is kinda all or nothing. If I asked about reducing my hours they’d laugh in my face and fire me. There’s plenty of people who would die for a chance to fill my role so I wouldn’t be missed.

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Demeter779 • 3d ago

That sucks. I would say tho, without being mean, it seems like your job is your number one priority and not your bf. While there’s nothing wrong with that, I think that’s where the problem lies. Especially if before you took the job he was always your number one! It’s probably been hard for him to adjust! I hate to say it, but I don’t think you two are meant to be and these problems are only gonna get worse this year with you being away. This situation really sucks for you OP, I’m sorry.

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LionVerstappen33 • 2d ago

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Hon3ybadg3r • 2d ago

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MonacoBaby • 2d ago

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r/relationship_advice • 6hr ago

posted by Throwaway27936

UPDATE: My (25F) boyfriend (27M) thinks I have a thing for one of my coworkers (25M). The worst thing about it is… I do.

Okay, ya got me.

Considering my life has already been put under extreme scrutiny from random strangers on the internet to literal news publications, I figured it couldn’t get any worse than it already has and so I’d post an update here.

I wanna start out by saying I am stupid. I made my post thinking I was fully anonymous, the account was a throwaway with no real ties to my irl identity and I tried as hard as I could to conceal the true nature of my work, but you F1 girlies are far too intelligent and I realise that now.

In hindsight I shouldn’t have deleted those comments, because it did just make me look more suspicious. If I’d have left them, maybe even replied to them and said ‘yes I work in F1 but can we please keep it on the dl as I don’t want anyone finding out who I am’ then right now I wouldn’t be sat in my childhood bedroom crying with a cat on my knee typing out this post.

I also wanna say that I hold no grudges with Twitter user LionVerstappen_ I mean, they’re far too clever for their own good, and they terrify me, but I don’t hate them, and all the hate that they’re getting is unjustified and wrong. It was my fault for posting on the internet thinking I’d be safe. That’s on me, not them, so please do leave them alone.

Since that post was made, a lot has changed. Obviously I had already returned to work, I was in the factory at Maranello working on some technical shit I won’t bore you with and getting ready for the livery reveal on the 14th and fine tuning for next season.

I had seen LionVerstappen_ and Hon3ybadg3r’s comments and deleted them as soon as I did. I didn’t fancy answering them, and thought ‘shit, this is getting a little dicey’ and disabled commenting on my post. I thought that would be the end of that, I had some good advice given before that, and I would mull it over before I next saw my boyfriend.

Suddenly, my phone just started fucking blowing up. I had a bunch of random people request to follow me on Instagram, and when I say a bunch, I mean a fuck load. Like 20k follow requests in the space of a few hours. Immediately I was like ‘what the fuck?’ Assuming I’d been hacked or something. I had like 200 followers before that, and I knew all of them in some capacity, and I hadn’t just become some internet celebrity (not on purpose at least) so what was going on?

That’s when I got a message from my friend back home. She’s an F1 fan and is pretty active on F1twt which is how she saw the posts. She sent me a link to the original tweet from LionVerstappen_ as well as to DeuxMoi’s Instagram stories. I was shocked, I really didn’t know how to react.

I couldn’t believe that my silly little Reddit post had actually been figured out, especially after I’d deleted those comments, I thought it was the end. I debated taking down the Reddit post, but really, what was that gonna do? There were already screenshots all over Twitter so it wouldn’t make a difference.

This all happened during my lunch break, and after lunch, I was called into my boss’ office. It seems the Ferrari PR department had also seen the tweets and the speculation, and they wanted to talk to me about it.

I burst into tears. My personal life was all over the internet, my boyfriend had probably seen it all and knew how I felt and that I’d been lying to him about my feelings. I knew it was only a matter of time before he called me and ended things with me again.

Thankfully, the PR team were nice to me. They said they’d handle it, and most importantly, that my job was safe. It was nothing to do with my capabilities as an engineer, after all, so I suppose it made sense. What they did do, however, is give me the week off to sort my life out.

I left the factory sniffling like a baby, packed my shit and got on a plane home. I called my parents to pick me up from the airport, and asked them to take my stuff back to their place but to drop me at the apartment my bf and I shared.

When I entered the flat I had to brace myself. I knew it wasn’t gonna be pretty. My bf was sat on the sofa, surrounded by packed bags and boxes again. Deja vu anyone?

He didn’t yell, or threaten me, or call me names like I thought he would. No, he stood up, and hugged me. And I started crying like a baby. Full on body shaking sobs.

I told him I was sorry, that I loved him, but I understood. He said it was okay.

We sat down together surrounded by the boxes of my things, he made me a coffee, and we talked. It was refreshing to talk to him considering last time he forced me out of the house without a word.

I told him everything, from start to finish. About how neglected and sad I felt after the summer break, how his ghosting was what led me to Charles, how I still really loved him but just didn’t know what I wanted, and how scary it was to have my private life all over the internet like that.

He was sympathetic, but ultimately he said that we just didn’t work together. He wished me luck, I took the cats, got in a taxi, and went home.

Funnily enough, I wasn’t really upset about the whole relationship ending. Mainly because I was just so relieved my ex was handling the whole situation so well. I’ll miss him terribly, he was more than just my boyfriend but he was my best friend too (I am aware of how cliche that sounds).

We had bonded over F1 all those years ago. I was cheering for Sebastian Vettel and he was cheering for Lewis Hamilton while watching a race in a sports bar. We ended up having an argument over who’s driver was better which after a few drinks evolved into us making out in the smoking area. That night I’d told him my dream, to be an engineer, to work for Ferrari. He believed in me, and it’s due to his belief that I managed to get my job. It’s a shame that achieving my dream was the thing that eventually tore us apart.

But anyway, now I’m at home. My parents are out collecting all my things from my ex’s flat right now, and I’ve finally calmed down enough to start typing this out. Mainly because Nemo has decided to curl up in my lap and have a big nap.

Consider my overdue cat tax paid:

When I settled in my room, Charles called me. I nearly didn’t answer it, but I did.

For the sake of his privacy, I’m not going to tell you all of what was said. But I can say that he doesn’t hate me, and if anything, he feels so bad for the situation I ended up in.

I suppose he knows what it’s like to have all that speculation around your personal life 24/7 and can empathise more than most of the people in my life.

I will also say, that we are just friends! That’s all. This isn’t a hallmark movie. He hasn’t hopped on his private jet, flown all the way to my home in bumblefuck nowhere to declare his love for me, and we all live happily ever after.

Real life is a lot more complicated than that. And a lot shittier and a lot more depressing.

I’m going back to Maranello tomorrow morning. I know they gave me the week off, but I’m going to spend some time in the area, maybe even look at getting a proper rental and moving out there full time. I have nothing really to tie me to my home anymore, not really (and yes I will bring the cats with me and pay a cat sitter!)

So yeah, this is my update. You don’t need to worry about me, I’m fine now, I think! Moving onwards and upwards. One day this will be a funny story I’ll look back on. It isn’t funny now, but it will be.

I do ask, however, that everyone reading this post thinks before they post. I’m a real person, and thanks to all this drama my life is fucked up and I’m now Googling how to emigrate to Italy.

Before you press that button, just consider how it will affect that person, and if it’s really worth it. Sometimes it is, I’ll grant you. But we’re all real people. Those of us in the factories, the TPs, the drivers, everyone. And we have a right to respect and privacy just as any ordinary person does. Think before you post.

I’m signing off now. It’s been a wild ride. Comments will be off, no doubt you’ll be making comments and dissecting my every word on Twitter anyways but at least I don’t have to see em.

I likely won’t update this again.

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—

March 5th 2023

No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t quite acclimate yourself to the dry heat of Bahrain. Your hair clung to your neck with sweat, and your team polo was already sodden and damp.

You weren’t quite sure if it was just the heat, or the nerves getting to you as the cars begun their formation lap. You fidgeted with the pen in your hand, your eyes firmly transfixed on the screen in front of you as you catch a glimpse of red zooming down the straight.

Lucky for you, things had died down. As the season began, people had the racing to focus on, and your silly little Reddit post had been almost forgotten. You were able to blend into the background, just as you had done that previous year. You were just another engineer hidden amongst a sea of red shirts, and it was nice.

You knew, however, that this peace would be short lived. It was only a matter of time before you were all over social media again, not as the mystery Reddit user anymore, but as Charles Leclerc’s new girlfriend.

You didn’t lie in your post, the two of you hadn’t gotten together on that fateful day. You were just friends. That was until February 14th.

The day of the car reveal, which also happened to coincide with Valentine’s Day. You didn’t mind, of course, after all, you had no plans. You were quite happy to have something else going on to distract you from your tragic love life.

Charles, however, had made plans. After the reveal you went back to his hotel room, where he had organised a fancy dinner with candles and roses. He asked you out then and there, away from the prying eyes of fans or paparazzi.

To you, it was the most romantic gesture anyone could ever make. It was clear he had thought of you, keeping the moment as private as possible to protect you.

He, of course, knew how you felt about him. He didn’t have to worry, he knew you’d say yes. And you did.

You spent the evening drinking wine, chatting, just as you had always done. But one thing was different - after dessert he kissed you.

The kiss was sweet, and it wasn’t just because of the tiramisu he had eaten.

He didn’t want to rush you, he knew that you were still healing from your trauma. But you weren’t so coy.

February 14th marked the first time you had kissed Charles Leclerc, but it also marked the first time the two of you made love.

Since that day, the two of you had kept your relationship a secret. You cooked for one another, or ordered takeout, watched movies, cuddled with the cats, and just enjoyed each other’s company.

It was exactly what you had wanted. A nice, private relationship with the man you had fallen so deeply in love with.

But there was a small niggling feeling in the back of your mind that it was all about to change. If he won this race, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. You wouldn’t be able to stop the urge to throw yourself into his arms, to kiss him all over, to tell him just how proud you are.

A race winner always deserves a kiss, right?

You chew on your nail as the final cars pull into position, ready for lights out.

Charles had taken pole position that previous day, but you had managed to save your celebrations for later, sneaking over to his hotel room when no one was around and promptly sneaking out early this morning to avoid suspicion.

Lights out - Charles’ reactions are lightning. He manages to keep away from the rest of the grid, allowing the cars behind him to battle for P2.

The Ferrari garage is hopeful, but they know better than to cheer before the race is won. Too many bittersweet moments from the previous season haunted each and every one of them.

All was well, Charles was set for the first win of the season, until a collision at the back of the pack meant that the safety car reared its ugly head.

Max was getting closer and closer to the back of Charles’ car. They weaved behind the safety car, getting ready, preparing for the moment that it would leave the track.

As the car enters the pit lane, the power was in Charles’ hands. He needed to make a good move, surprise Max, get him on the back foot and out of sight.

There were only two laps left. Two laps to victory. Max just had to stay back, and Charles had to race like he’d never raced before.

You chew on your nails anxiously as Charles takes each and every corner, hitting the apex with precision. All that time in the simulator was definitely paying off.

They cross the line for the final lap, Charles was a car’s length ahead, but Max too was pushing hard. He wanted that first win just as much as Charles did. But you told yourself mentally that he wasn’t going to get it. This was Charles’ race, and he was going to stand on that top step of the podium.

The seconds felt like hours. You make eye contact with Vasseur across the garage and he gives you a small smile. A reassuring one, and you smile back. It probably looked more like a grimace but it was the best you could muster.

The final corner passes with ease, and it looks like Charles has hung onto his win. Max is practically driving alongside him as they cross the finish line. No one cheers.

It’s a waiting game, waiting for the photo to see who had crossed the line first.

You bury your head in your hands, unable to think, talk, move or see until the entire garage erupts into cheers.

He had done it! Charles had won the race!

Tears begin to fall from your eyes as you finally look up. You were sobbing, you couldn’t help it. He’d won.

You give every mechanic you see a pat on the back as you walk over to Vasseur. He was smiling brightly at you. He had so much faith in Charles, he loved him like a son.

He embraces you tightly as you cry onto his shoulder, and he whispers ever so quietly “go see him. See your love.”

You didn’t even care to ask how he was able to see right through the two of you. You just pulled away and nodded as you run out of the garage towards parc ferme alongside a sea of red suits and shirts.

You push your way to the front, definitely sure that your tear stained face would be onscreen for the world to see, but you didn’t care. The world had seen worse of you, after all.

When Charles takes off his helmet, your heart skips a beat. He was beautiful, every day he was beautiful. Even when he was still sweaty and breathing heavy from the adrenaline of the race, his face marked with balaclava lines.

He makes a beeline for you, pulling you in for a hug the way friends would hug one another.

“Kiss me.” You say.

“Are you sure, mon amour?” He whispers, and you nod.

Charles captures your lips in a kiss reminiscent of your very first just a few days ago. The cameras were definitely on you, but you didn’t care.

No doubt social media would be going crazy over the whole thing, but it was nothing new to you. At least this time you weren’t just in love with your coworker, but he was in love with you too.

Whatever the internet may have to throw at you, this time, you didn’t have to handle it alone.

—

~ THE END ~

#charles leclerc x reader #Charles Leclerc x You #Charles Leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader social media au

[saradika]

[masterlist]

This is the list of the incredible fics I’ve read and shared this month for the stardust reblog challenge! Includes ones read here and on my side blog, @eupheme (in case there’s any confusion!) 💖

STAR WARS

'tis the damn season by @maybege

Years after you last saw Boba Fett, Natalie invites you to spend Christmas with her family. | hot dad!boba x f!reader

ownership of mine. (part 2) & (part 3) by @amywritesthings

You have been in Narkina 5 for four months. The unit believes you are in a secret relationship with Kino Loy. (Are you?) | kino loy x f!reader

Before. When. After. by @littlemisspascal

There is a story before, when, and after Keef Girgo enters your life | ruescott melshi x f!eader

Zena Thamne (Cuyan Series) by @againstacecilia

Your fiance disappears two months before your wedding on a dangerous hunt. Fearing the worst and desperate to find him, you accept help from a reluctant Mandalorian and set off in search of your groom. | din djarin x f!reader

Take My Hand by @princessxkenobi

after a fresh snow has fallen over all the forest, you & your darling obi wan sneak away from the cottage for some ice skating; your hearts, all the while held within each other’s palms | obi-wan kenobi x f!reader

Patience by @oscarseyebrow

 “Show me how you caught him,” you request, eyes daring the bounty hunter as his chest heaves in the fluorescent lights of the Crest’s hull. “Show me how you took control.” | din djarin x female reader 

By Your Side by @princessxkenobi

In the softened afterglow of the fireplace, things take a heated turn between you and anakin, where all that you begin to sense there, is your shared waves of longing and intimacy, wanting just to be together | anakin x f!reader

Unwavering by @uwingdispatch

You are so precious to me,” he said. “Do you know that? I never…” he trailed off for a moment, closing his big hazel eyes, taking a deep breath. “I never had the courage to tell you how much I love you, but if something happens today and I never get to see you again—” | brasso x f!reader

A Touch of Peppermint by @princessxkenobi

hot chocolate doesn’t exist where Din Djarin is from, & thankfully you had been there just to show him what it’s all about; that is…if either one of you doesn’t get distracted for too long to enjoy it first ...❄️ | din djarin x f!reader

Flowers that Bloom in Winter by @psychedelic-ink

A spiteful coworker ruins the flower arrangements you had hoped to compete with. Not knowing what can be done, you entertain a young boy named Grogu who comes in at the same time wanting to buy a bouquet for his father. The next day, Din returns and offers to help you out with your work until a competition. | din djarin x f!reader

MARVEL / DC

A Cause For Celebration by @andrewrussgarfield

In which Peter Parker shows up at your front door with a slightly smashed cupcake and a whispered "Happy Birthday". | tasm!peter x afab!reader

Bitten by Fate by @stargirlfics

After a Halloween party at an abandoned mansion, you wake up to discover strange bites on your body and a note inviting you back | vampire!stucky x black f!reader

STARDEW VALLEY

Nothing Comes from Nothing by @hometownbard

All it took was a production of The Sound of Music for you to finally confront your feelings for Harvey, the show's leading man. | harvey x farmer

PEDRO PASCAL & OSCAR ISAAC

Live Fires & Low Lights by @wyn-n-tonic

“You're teasing me, sweetheart.” | javier peña x f!reader

frankie request by @softanon

A scoop of fluff with Dad!Frankie, with a bonus appearance of young Júlia Morales. | frankie morales x gn!reader

expectations by @pedrito-friskito

It was only supposed to be a job. | joel miller x f!reader

Did You Think I Had Forgotten? by @wyn-n-tonic

She’d fucking hate him if she could. | santiago x f!reader

VIOLENT NIGHT

All is Calm by @clydesducktape

Nicholas returns home looking battered and bruised. A reminder of a past life you’ve shared that leads to him needing your comfort and joy. | santa!harbour x f!reader

These fics are all so lovely - please check them out and please support these creators! 💖✨

#stardust reblog challenge #fic recs #please support these creators #din djarin x reader #obi wan kenobi x reader #peter parker x reader #boba fett x reader #kino loy x reader #sdv harvey x reader #javier peña x reader #frankie morales x reader

[fuck-customers]

The company I work for just went public (meaning people can now buy stock in the company 🤢) and because of this it went from a pretty nice place to work to a shithole. We used to have pizza parties, barbecues, annual raises, bonuses, fuel reimbursement, etc. Now that we're public, corporate decided to crack down and all of that is just gone? No more parties because it's a "waste of resources" no more fuel reimbursement for using our own cars for delivery because "we agreed to use our cars for our job" and the raises? Before we went public I got a $5 an hour raise. 5 WHOLE ASS DOLLARS an hour on top of what I was already making plus a $500 bonus for being there for a year. Now it's two years this month (June) and my raise? 91 cents. No bonus. Just a fucking no reply email from the "CEO" thanking me for my hard work 🙄. I know I shouldn't complain but it just sucks when i was told i should expect a $2 raise and instead get 91 cents. Also there's a new regional manager who is basically a corporate spy and he justs likes to snoop in fucking employee lounge just to see if anyone is slacking off. He's like a fucking robot istg.

And the worst fucking part? They "updated" the departments and an entire department is getting laid off. They are taking their jobs away not because they don't need that department anymore but because they just added their workload on top of my departments workload. So now there's more work for me and my coworkers to do with no additional money for it AND 4 people just lost their job. They are offering basically the same position under a different department for a $7 an hour cut in pay or just losing their job I guess. I don't know I'm just fucking rambling because this was a really nice job and corporate is fucking ruining it and I feel so bad for my coworkers.

[gay-kurapika]

Whatever, under the read more I'm going to talk vaguely about my emotional abuse. This is more of a vent and I'm not going to tag it.

It took place over a long period of time, about two years, but I was literally a different person before I met Jayne. Nothing I ever did was good enough or even good at all for her, and I'm convinced that she thought anyone who wasn't literally exactly like her was wrong and bad. One of the things she drilled in my head, literally in these words, is that she was the best friend I was ever going to have, and that I didn't deserve her. She convinced me of this. She told me that I was awful, that my friends, family, girlfriend, and coworkers only liked me because I was lying to them and if they knew what I was really like they would never talk to me. I mentioned my dad and I didnt really get along and that he had been abusive when I was a child and she convinced me to stop talking to everyone in my family for over a year. She wanted me to break up with my girlfriend. She said my friends weren't real because we only spoke online, so I left the discord server and I've literally never rejoined it. I was cut off and only had her and she did this on fucking purpose!!!

I was constantly losing weight, partially because of my addiction, but largely because I literally couldn't afford to buy food because she was financially starving me. If I bought groceries that I would be likely to eat, she ate all my stuff before moving to her stuff. She didn't pay rent on time ever, and for several months didn't pay at all, so I was paycheck to paycheck covering the $1600 a month myself on fucking fast food wages, $14 an hour, and all the bills. I couldn't afford more food after she ate mine and she knew it. I even once went to the food bank and she ate everything I brought back from there too, and you only get one visit per month. I weighed like 90 lbs at this point.

I was not a tidy person at all and I admit that but she told me I didn't deserve my cat if I couldn't clean the litter box, and she constantly called me disgusting, to the point that I internalized that and just genuinely believed I was a disgusting irredeemable person.

And the worst fucking part is that I should have seen it coming. There were red flags everywhere. She was only moving in with me because her ex girlfriend had filed a restraining order against her because she wouldn't fucking leave her house. She told me her ex girlfriend had been abusing her and what a fucking lie that was. I believed it because I had no reason not to, but I learned afterwards her ex was a disabled woman who had been completely financially supporting Jayne for YEARS while Jayne didn't work at all and sat around the house drinking and smoking. Seriously this woman had a fucking chronic pain condition and she was the breadwinner while Jayne did nothing, no fucking wonder she got sick of her. And the restraining order that Nicole got against Jayne was because Jayne had physically assaulted her! She had a criminal record for assault and disorderly conduct and she didn't fucking tell me! I should have done a fucking background check.

She committed fraud in my name and didn't tell me about it. Literally forged letters and my signature to get "rent" money during covid from the government, except she literally didn't pay rent with that money, she kept it, and I just had to pay taxes on it. Are you fucking kidding me?!?!

And she was constantly belittling me for my view on like humanity and life and she wanted me to change it so bad but fuck her, because I will never become the selfish disgusting bitter old hag that she was. I truly believe that most people are good and want to make the world a better place, that the core nature of humanity is to form communities and help each other. She thought humanity was inherently evil and that only animals are innocent. We had multiple arguments about how she thought every animal deserved life and all humans should die and that made me so fucking mad, how fucking disgusting and selfish and privileged do you have to be to say that? You a fucking white American think all humans should die and that would make the planet better? Oh except you right? Fuck you, sitting here in your comfortable life and saying everyone else should suffer but dogs should live or whatever. God I hated her so much for that I wish I had said it to her face that she was a disgusting selfish person.

And one other thing I wish I'd told her was how much I truly fucking hated her dog. I pretended to like him because she was obsessed with him but that dog was NOT FUCKING TRAINED IN ANY GODDAMN WAY!!! It was so codependent that if she left the house without it it would whine loudly THE ENTIRE TIME! Even if she was gone for 10 hours it would not stop for longer than a few minutes I swear! It barked at everyone who came to the door. It wasn't house trained and when I stopped coming home on my 30 minute lunches to walk it she let it pee on the fucking carpet instead of paying a dog walker $5 a day to just take it out. God that animal was unable to function how it should, it really needed a far better owner than her.

She suicide baited me and she would argue that that's not what it was but it absolutely was. You cannot repeatedly say to someone "I'm going to come home one day and you're going to be dead," and not call that fucking suicide baiting.

And i hate that she took advantage of my kindness and faith in humanity to do all this. She told me she was bpd and I know how stigmatized that disorder is so I wanted to just believe her that her ex was lying and she wasn't an abuser, but she fucking was. It had nothing to do with being bpd, she was just a terrible selfish person, and she used that as a shield to claim she was misunderstood. This bitch knew exactly what she was doing.

Also, I take responsibility for my own relapse into addiction because ultimately I do not have to drink and I'm the one in control over that, but she absolutely manipulated me into getting worse. Every time I tried to quit again she would buy me liquor as a "treat" very clearly hoping I would forget she owed me fucking rent. I was a lot easier to manipulate if I wasn't sober. And I greatly resent her demonizing me for my addiction so often when she literally drank every single day after she took her fucking meds and then DROVE TO WORK! She was worse than me! The night she called the cops on me for literally pushing her away from me after she had screamed at me for 4 hours straight and suicide baited me and thrown dishes and yelled at me as I cleaned up the glass from the floor, she had in fact already drank an entire bottle of tequila and had opened a new one. That is not an exaggeration. The only reason I got arrested is because i didn't tell the cops the entire story, I didn't tell them everything before I pushed her, and I should have. I should have watched them drag her out of the room drunk off her ass in handcuffs.

[caluski]

And like I knowwwww it REALLY is all my fault. I really know that. I'm not trying to act like "oooo it's fate it's fate that put it's curse on me I'm just unlucky" because I know all the blame is on me. I know I fucked up so so so so many things and I fucked over other people *and* myself. And I know that I have to work very very hard to become like someone who could be loved because it's not like people who are loved and happy just "got lucky somehow" but because they simply worked hard on themselves and for their happiness. But it's just so overwhelming. I feel like I'm starting my life from scratch. I have nothing. Well ok.... I do have roof over my head and a tumblr blog. I try so hard to have love for the little joys in life but man it's so so so fucking hard to cherish them alone as well. I wish I could have someone to go to a café with. I wish I could have someone to spend new years eve with. I wish I could have someone to stroll thru a park with. I wish I could have someone to go to a bar with. Żmija is so nice and so patient towards me always but she's so far away and has a million more important things and people going on in her own life anyway. And I'm not even attractive enough to go on dating apps to meet new people. It's so exhausting it's so...... I wish I could have my family by my side at least. I wish they enjoyed spending time with me. I wish I didn't feel like an intruder no matter who I'm with, no matter where I go. With my former friends, my coworkers, classmates whatever, I actually tried so many many many fucking times to get together, to go out, to organize something, anything... I have so so many flaws and in many ways of course I am really truly horrible. But this one part of it I cannot let go, the fact that I actually tried my best and kept texting first and suggesting specific dates and plans and everything, and yet that didn't work. And I don't know why. I have no idea what is so wrong with me that I couldn't even make my best friends stay. I'm impatient and selfish and moody and needy and lazy and whiny and ugly and cowardly and loud and stubborn and nitpicky and pretty boring and I interrupt people and I like to gossip and I don't do drugs and I wallow in sadness and self pity too much and I talk without thinking and I get way too focused on myself. But I SOMEHOW did get these friends even if they were casual... despite everything. And then I lost them. I had my chances and I blew them ALL, every single one. I keep thinking about my former best friend especially, over and over again, i really tried my best, I actually tried my damn best to become a better listener and to distract her when she needed it, and yet I was still not good enough. She still kept rejecting me over and over and over again and like a fucking idiot I kept refusing to give up. And I wish I knew what I did wrong. I wish I knew what was it that made her reject me. Why was she so embarrassed of me? Why was she so ashamed to be around me in public, why did she refuse to introduce me to her other friends? Maybe it was not even any of the negative sides of me, but that she just couldnt find any positives in me, either. Maybe people could look past all the bad things about me, if I had something.... good in me. Maybe having *some* flaws is not the problem, but instead, being... a nobody is the worst flaw in itself. Maybe I'm good as a casual coworker or classmate or mutual or acquaintance or a stranger you see every three days buying tomatoes at your farmers market. But nothing more. And i do still want to work on my weaknesses, I want to become patient and kind and someone who makes others feel cared for, and safe, and listened to. But what if, even if I somehow achieve it, even if I somehow become a better person, get over my worst struggles. What if I still will be like... A zero. Not a negative, sure, but not a positive either. Just a zero. And I will be at my best... and I still will be nothing. What then. What then

#pogaduchy

[adulting-sucks]

How can a 41 yr old not comprehend the fact that the people who you are around with as in friends and dating and hang out with and is everything. Its like high school cliques. People of like minds and view always hang out together otherwise why are you hanging out and are together.

I knoenthere are so many fans out there that like myself that can't support or be a fan of someone who supports racism anti semitism and homophobia or being fat phobic.

He did Red Sea Diving Resort i hope he got a angry call or text from the director and producers and the writer of the book for now supporting and being with antisemitic people. He shitted on them and Jews. I'm happy for Jenny that she got away from him.

If it was PR move so netflix will give him the Gene Kelly project in exchange for free warrior nun pr -it was the worst move of his career. Some one on a blog said the Mario cart video was to humiliate her or looked it- is his version of crying for help or maybe he's an asshole and were finally seeing him for who he is.

If he actual is dating her and choosing to hang out with her friends too and not having extra ppl there cause he can't stand to be alone with her its just sad to see he lied about caring about so many diffrent things

.. (nothing about age idc about that once you're 18 it doesn't matter legally. Dicaprio has had an age thing for forever and that's the difference he doesn't date someone whose views are disgusting and hateful)

I wonder how Scott feels about her, given homopbobia she and her friends have shown.

Agree. We are absolutely reflections of who we spend our time with. My close friends are very like minded to my same values and thoughts. I will cut people off, no hesitation who bring turmoil to that part of my world.

Don’t get me wrong, I get along with my coworkers because it makes my work life easier, but outside of work, it’s a non issue because I don’t allow them into that area.

PR probably works so much differently than we even know, but you are absolutely correct in saying this has been the worst move of his career. I don’t buy into this being real. I’ve flipped and flopped, but seeing the pap walk and WDW in action along with the absolute forced and manufactured feel of the IG stories cemented me in this is not real.

He’s always been private and protective of the ones he cares about. That’s what is so different about this. It is being forced out in overkill because there’s no need to address every single issue we’ve discussed with pictures.

That being said, it in no way excuses what’s happened now. Do I think he woke up and just said fuck this, I no longer care about racism, antisemitism, body shaming because look at this pussy!? No. I don’t. But by continuing this charade and allowing his team to double down instead of addressing any of this is a massive mistake. As I’ve said, this has become the ultimate fuck you to those of us who still attempted to see the good in him. We’ve been told we don’t fucking matter and what he’s fought against was purely for his own agenda.

He is losing massive amounts of his fan base, and at first I’m sure no one batted an eye. We’re crazy, remember? But look what went along with that. He is consistently called out on all posts and comments. He may not read every single one, but he still has to have some idea of what’s being said. I cannot imagine anyone would be okay with being perceived the way he is right now without it affecting him somehow.

So here we are: he’s now set to do two Comic-con appearances, trying to attach his image back to that of Steve Rogers, and not the person he is currently. Now he has to try and win back some of his fans. Who knows, Seb managed to bounce back from Ale, but he also has worked tirelessly to show his fans he’s not what they thought he was. I don’t know if Evans will do that. I hope so.

We know how his mother feels. Scott has barely interacted with them at all, he unfollowed Justin early on and never really commented on her shit before she ran away. But to see this distance, this schism in the relationship between him and his family, that’s the saddest part to me. I would love to believe he would never be with someone as vile as she is, and that he would never subject his family to that. And to an extent, we’ve seen that. They’re always isolated in pictures and videos. We don’t see her in any family photos and that’s pretty telling also.

As far as him humiliating her? I have not one ounce of anything for her. If he is humiliating her, I couldn’t care less. I may sound like a giant bitch for this, but she lied about a traumatic event to garner attention. I actually at one point did feel some sympathy for her, seeing how her family and friends exploited her in her career. But she pulled that fake kidnapping story, and any ounce of good will or sympathy I had was gone.

That was beyond reprehensible. Beyond disgusting. Add that in to what we see now and know, she deserves every bit of karma and bad energy she gets. She is a master manipulator, she has used every trick to stay relevant and manipulate her fans and this fandom, and she deserves to receive whatever karmic payback she’s got coming.

[gobbluthbutagirl]

ok can i say something that is literally so embarrassing. the day that i worked a mid-shift at one target and then closed at the other target i accidentally went like 16 hours without eating. and it was genuinely unintentional and afterwards i was like what the hell is wrong with me why did i do this etc etc etc. but then anyway now it’s like. i know i can work a full shift without eating and it’s fine. so i’ve been like. Well basically if i feel like the interactions i have with people are only 95% perfect instead of 100% perfect or whatever then i don’t get to have dinner. and i did this on wednesday and i did it again last night. but the problem is since it’s a busy week for us they’ve been providing meals. and i don’t know why but the idea of somebody buying food for me makes me feel so so guilty. and then the idea of somebody buying food for me and me not eating it and/or somebody offering to buy food for me and me saying no also makes me feel so so guilty. and so it’s like. As punishment for not eating you are not allowed to eat. but yesterday i already wasn’t going to eat anyway and here’s the thing. i have NEVER eaten the food they provide for us. and it was soooo much easier to get away with this last year without anybody noticing. but this year it’s just. Well i guess everybody knows me better because we’ve worked together so long now so it’s all like oh holly don’t forget about the food. oh holly you’re not going to eat? and of course we have a different hr than we did last year too and last year hr guy did not give two shits if i did or didn’t eat. but of course our current hr is the guy who has always been my favorite lead and last night he had ordered chick-fil-a for us and i guess there were more original chicken sandwiches than spicy ones and he WALKIED ME to ask which one i wanted because he would have set aside a spicy one for me if i had wanted that. and i was just like oh god. oh fuck. and i tried to act like i was only just now finding out that we had chick-fil-a which was of course a lie because i saw the chick-fil-a guy and i’m pretty sure he saw that i saw the chick-fil-a guy but anyway my stupid ass was just like, “oh uh. i don’t really have a preference.” and then he said something like, “i hope you enjoy it,” and i’m just thinking SHIT!!! FUCK!!! now i literally have to go home and kill myself because i’m not gonna even eat it. but fortunately he left before my lunch break so he didn’t see that i didn’t eat it. and i wound up giving the one that was supposed to be for me to my coworker and then of course did not eat anything. and then i ate a small amount of food when i got home but apparently it wasn’t enough because i woke up at 7am starving. and then of course did not fall back asleep because i can never fall back asleep and tonight is the night that i will only get a minimal amount of sleep because after closing tonight i will be working an 8am-8pm shift tomorrow. so congratulations i played myself. and the worst part is they are still providing us food today AND tomorrow and i probably haven’t learned my lesson so i will probably wind up doing some stupid shit like this AGAIN. and there is literally no normal way for me to say “please don’t give me food i don’t want food” without sounding like i have something really wrong with me. because i guess literally i DO have something really wrong with me but that’s MY business!!! but like. i cannot lie and say i have dietary restrictions because they would try to accommodate me and that’s worse and you know that that’s worse. and last night when it was chick-fil-a i guess i COULD have said i don’t eat chick-fil-a because of the anti-gay thing but that’s kind of a moot point when the guy that bought it for us is literally a gay man lmao. and so i’m just like “oh i’m not really hungry” or “oh well it’s been sitting at room temp for a while so it’s probably gone bad” even though literally everybody else is eating it and they’re fine and even my mother who raised me is not quite That insane.

anyway did you guys know tumblr has paragraph character limits? because i just found out the hard way and i’m taking that as my cue to shut the hell up about this forever and ever. but in conclusion jesus WISHES. he fucking WISHES he could suffer this much

#read this at your own risk #my job wrapped

[i-used-to-wear-the-fedora]

You've Got to Pick Up Every Stitch (Whumptober Day 25)

We refuse to allow this witch to continue and infect our community! We must save the souls of our town!"

The sounds of the small mob agreeing enthusiastically were audible to Eddie's ears but he was more focused on the noose pulled tightly around his neck. The man stood next to him glared down at the younger boy as Eddie tried pulling at the ropes binding his wrists behind his back.

"And we refuse to allow this son of Satan continue his rampage!" The man continued as he yanked on the noose. Eddie choking for air through his nose, the rag stuffed in his mouth obstructing his ability to breath. Despite having only the moonlight and scattered flashlights to light the crowd, Eddie grimly recognized some of the people in the mob that gathered to watch his death. Closing his eyes, Eddie's mind wandered to how the fuck after everything he went through, it was a crowd of angry humans that were going to kill him.

It had been a nice day. Relatively speaking. After he'd finally been discharged from the hospital to come home to Wayne and their new apartment a few weeks ago, Eddie found himself adjusting to life post upside down. Post Chrissy. After signing dozens and dozens of NDA papers, they'd announced his innocence on national TV. The blame was pinned on Jason Carver, saying he and Max had been the only survivors in the basketball player's rampage. Eddie might have felt if this was anyone except Jason Carver. The guy who made his life a living hell and tried to kill him. The guy who hurt anyone to get what he wanted, for fuck's sake he attacked an eleven year old. He'd seen Erica's bruised face when they were waiting in the hospital together. But the worst part was he was the reason Max was still in the hospital in a coma. Any empathy he might have had flew out the window every time he thought about Max.

Hawkins was still Hawkins though. And shit hole that it was, people were still unsurprisingly shitty. Nobody wanted to believe that their golden boy was a murderer. Most people usually keeping their disdain for the goth to a side eye in or a muttered insult but others were a lout louder. Name calling, small vandalism, or if he was really unlucky he'd run into Reverend Carver. Jason's dad. Seemed batshit crazy ran in the family, the man accosting him in the streets and calling him a son of Satan. Accusing him of corrupting the town's youth with his devilish wiles or whatever.

It was exhausting. Being bombarded on every side by these assholes but he had a few safe spaces. His current favorite of which was the local Family Video. Mr. Holier than thou and people like him refused to go in and he got to spend time bothering his two favorite people in the world.

"Are you going to actually buy something today Munson, or are you just going to stand around and loiter?"

"I am shocked you would accuse me of such a thing Harrington." Eddie grinned as he leaned across the return desk where Steve "the hair" Harrington stood with a disdainful look on his face as Eddie popped another Raisinet out of the box in his hands. "I am a paying customer who's come to spend my hard earned dollars on some family friendly entertainment."

"You didn't even pay for those." Steve gestured to the box of theater candy in Eddie's hands. In response, Eddie brought out a crumpled one from his back pocket and slid it across the counter with a smirk.

"Keep the change." He patted Steve on side of his face to which the younger man slapped his hand away.

"God, would you two stop flirting? I'm trying to alphabetize over here." Robin called from the other side of the nearly empty store. "Some jackass came through and decided to rip out the styrofoam inserts and didn't bother to put them back."

"Ah yes, the joys of retail work." Eddie remarked as he and Steve etched her grab a broom to sweep up the broken white plastic mess that covered the carpet.

"Well we can't all get lucky and sell drugs for a living." Steve replied before calling out to his coworker. "And it's not flirting!"

"Yeah Buckley, I like to think I have standards." Eddie added on with a look from Steve that said 'Really dude?'. Eddie had found out a lot about Steve when the guy decided to keep visiting him in the hospital. Like the fact he wasn't a total douche. And with the help of Buckley, that he didn't mind that Eddie liked dudes.

"Speak for yourself Munson, I am a catch." Steve said with a flip of his signature hair.

"The scoreboard would say otherwise." Robin countered from where she was sweeping up a styrofoam mess. The telltale small whiteboard was laid on the register counter. The current tally on You Suck almost filled the white slate. You Rule had a single stroke.

"Ugh, what would you know?" Steve huffed as Eddie laughed at the face Steve was making. Robin side eyeing him. She never said it but he knew that she knew about his not so minor crush on the former jock. He wasn't subtle about it but Steve was Steve and somehow remained oblivious to most things. Eddie's watch alarm going off made him look down to see it was almost four o'clock.

"Shit, got band practice." Eddie glanced back at Steve as he made his way to the door. "You know, if you ever want to, you could come watch me perform."

"I'm good." Steve replied. Maybe a little too quickly than Eddie would've hoped for.

Eddie didn't have his minivan anymore. One of the many things confiscated by the government along with their trailer, his guitar and everything that vaguely anything to do with the upside down. Plus side, he got the walking in his physical therapist recommended. Down side, his body despised every other step he took. Wishing he remembered to grab the cane the hospital gave him.

'Come on Eddie. Jeff's house is just a few blocks away.' He told himself. Walking along the sidewalk and humming the INXS song they'd been working on when he noticed a car coming down the road. It slowed down until it was right next to the metalhead.

'Shit.' Eddie tried to turn around as the car parked on the road next to him.

"You look like you could use some help." The window rolled down to reveal Mr. Carver. Because of course it was him, life seemed to have it out for him sometimes.

"I'm fine Mr. Carver. Thanks." It was worse when the people who hated him tried to act nice. It always meant that something bad was about to happen.

"It's Reverend." He corrected Eddie. Him getting out of the car made the metalhead look around nervously. Almost no one was out and he was out of view of the movie store.

'Fuck.'

"Come on, I'll give you a ride to wherever you're going." The man grabbed Eddie's elbow, practically stopping him in his tracks.

"Listen. I know you're trying to be a good Christian or whatever but-" Eddie was cut off by the man shoving something over his face.

"That wasn't a suggestion."

The sweet smell made his brain go fuzzy and the next time he was lucid, or at least aware of his surroundings, he was in the back of a moving car. Trying to breath was difficult, becoming aware of something (his bandana?) shoved in his mouth. His body was unusually heavy as words were spoken at him through the drugged fog.

"-sinner-"

"-Satan's grasp-"

"-witch. My son saw it himself."

Son? Oh right. Jason. Eddie wanted to laugh. Even in death he had it out for the goth.

Hands grasped at his body as Eddie felt his feet moving under him. Now completely awake for the first time. They were in the woods. It was dark out now as he was led through a small group of people gathered around a large white tree. A step stool was sat under it with a noose dangling from the branch. The murmured pieces coming into place as he realized what they were going to do. Hang him like a witch. He might've been able to outrun them before but his barely healed injuries, the grip on his shoulder and the brain fog he was still experiencing made any plan of escape impossible.

Now here he was, in the middle of what he'd hoped was a horrible nightmare, watching a crowd of people egging on his execution. Reverend Carver turning to him and whispering so only Eddie could hear him.

"This is for my son."

With that the stepstool Eddie was stood on was kicked out from under him.

He'd read about the Salem witch trials before. If they were lucky, the height they dropped from would cause their neck to snap so they wouldn't have to die a prolonged and agonizing death by strangulation. But again, the Munson luck was at work and he was left dangling from a tree branch, just barely clinging to life. Maybe it had been one minute, maybe five. His vision was blurred over now as his mind raced. The darkness slowly creeping in from the edges as he wondered if this was what Chrissy felt like that night in his trailer.

Eddie's mind was starting to drift off when he heard yelling. Maybe it was him? Or maybe hell was real and he was hearing the tormented screaming of what awaited him. The answer was apparently neither as he felt the weight of the rope around his neck disappear and his body fell to the ground hard. He let out a muffled cry and brought his knees up in an attempt to lessen the pain.

"No, no, no. Come on, Hey." It might have been the delirium from almost dying but Eddie could've sworn he was hearing Steve's voice. Eyes coming back into focus as a hand yanked the bandana out of his mouth to see his brown haired angel stooped over him. His usually perfect hair was messy as he helped Eddie sit up.

"Nngh...Steve? Is that you?" He asked, a smile crossing his face despite everything.

"Yeah, it's me." Steve took out a knife to hack the rope around Eddie's neck off before working at the ones on his wrists.

"How'd y...How'd you find me?"

"One of the kids saw when you were grabbed. We've been looking for you all day."

"Huh." Even when it seemed like the whole world was against him, it was nice to know there was still people who looked out for him. The darkness was still creeping into vision as he leaned into Steve's shoulder. "Hey Stevie? I'm tired.''

"I know Eddie, but I need you to stay awake until we get you to the hospital. Okay?"

"Yeah....thanks Stevie..." The young man still smiling as Steve helped him up and over to a waiting car in the distance. Eddie was vaguely aware of Steve taking his jacket off and wrapping it around the other boy's shoulders. "My knight in shining armor."

#stranger things #fanfiction #stranger things au #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie #robin buckley #whumptober2022 #whump #whumptober day 25

[deyadee]

Halloween

My parents couldn’t pick me up from work because they were off with their friends on a boat and they called me to say that their boat had to be towed or something. So I went to get something from the store that I promised my sister. I thought since I didn’t have anywhere to be that night I could go over and talk to that cute girl at the front. I texted if she was there and she said “No, I’m at a Halloween party in @/78($&3” and like a fucking chump I said “Oh have fun!”

I like how when everything seems fine the world has to prove a point to me that I’m a fucking loser. Like “Hey, look at what this other girl is doing! Having FRIENDS and SOCIALIZING instead of fucking being a manager at a dollar store.” Even when I work part time I feel like I do nothing but work. I mean, at least I like this kind of work more than my last shit job. I mean now I have a higher position than she does, but does that’s the most pathetic fucking thing to brag about. Sure my coworkers, boss, and customers like me- but I feel disconnected from people my own age. I don’t really wanna be out partying and whoring myself out like some people like, but it still feels lonely.

So I spent a crap load of money for no reason at Walgreen’s because buying shit is all I ever do outside work anymore (besides being a disappointment to my parents) and got an Uber. I had my box cutter from work in my hand the entire ride and was close to finally doing something to reach that end goal, but I decided not to so the guy didn’t have to clean up my blood from his car. I always wonder where would be the best place and time to finally fucking do it. If I do it at work then they’d have to clean my blood and it’d probably be shit to go to work every day knowing your manager slit her throat in the bathroom. Plus, it would imply that I hated the job, which isn’t really my problem. My boss is really sweet so I wouldn’t want to do that to her, even if people say you shouldn’t give a shit about the people you work with. If I do it in my bedroom then I know my sisters would barge in and be traumatized seeing their sister’s corpse. I could put some note on the door, but someone would eventually be curious and open the door. I imagine it’s not investigated and cleaned if it’s a suicide so I’m doing that. I might have to wait until I get my own place and then I can get found by someone who didn’t know me as personally. I try looking it up but it’s all bridges and jumping and drowning sounds like the worst way to go out. I heard your lungs filling with water is extremely painful.

I want this to be over and I want to be quick/painless.

[lil-kitten666]

I know if I close my eyes and roll over I'll be out like a light.

But something won't let me rest, won't let me take a break tonight....and it's just getting later and later.

I have work...I'm going to be so tired. I'm always tired, so what does it matter. This month has been exhausting....

Been on T on and off for over 5 years now...I dress masc at work...my long hair is always up at work...and...all month...maybe even longer...more and more people have misgendered me...a lil girl said the other day that girl looks like a boy, it's so silly....

I cried in my car before going home that night...I'm still really hurt by that...normally children's comments don't bother me. But that one hit a soft spot, especially cause she was laughing about it...her farther didn't even apologize or say anything, he just made hard eye contact and I just pretended it didn't happen and did my job...

I've gotten ma'am, she, her...by so many people these last few months....and the worst part...me nor my trusted coworkers or friends know why the fuck it keeps happening...like I don't look feminine or really act it or anything...

SO I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY THIS KEEPS HAPPENING.

The general public is already blissfully ignorant and stupid...but why can't people just keep their mouth shut and keep their perceptions to themselves.

I hate this....it's making me hate myself...my hair...the fact that I can't afford to buy T right now...

I'm slowly slipping down hard....i don't want to go to work tomorrow...

Idk if it will help but I'm going back to shorter hair again...i either have to wait till I have money or...I go the free route and shave my head....I've never shaved my head...and it's terrifying plus if it looks bad I'm going to break down....but idk what else to do in this moment...something has to change I need to do something to make this stop happening.

I don't know how much more I can take of it happening

[imperial-nuisance-rudje]

(7.0 trailer talk and big character hater energy under the cut)

I think, barring the obvious giant pitfall I'm really hoping they manage to avoid despite past writing, the thing I'm least excited about for this expansion is having to hang out a lot with G'raha. Half the reason I avoided even starting 6.x msq was that I just don't fucking want to deal with him ever again, and his worst fans being absolutely awful to me when I express this definitely don't help. I hope I can just immediately ditch him, but I'm not holding my breath because they keep trying to force a rapport that doesn't fucking exist (and never will given that they never acknowledge that he has serious character flaws and they aren't fucking cute moe shit) every time he shows up onscreen and it's almost always the worst part of the writing in a given scene.

He has not fucking earned a single shred of anything closer than "coworker who has no fucking boundaries and refuses to learn them" and the writing constantly forcing something deeper sucks ass. If they ever acknowledged that it sucked it would suck less, but no I'm supposed to have deep emotions for a character who spent his intro questline being irritating and trying to cash a wholly unearned emotional check and a full x.0 making a plan that actively harmed the person he was involving, and one fucking line of dialogue isn't enough to make me buy that he's genuinely sorry about it when he keeps being emotionally manipulative and I keep being forced to pick options that claim I feel anything but disgust at lightest for him.

It's the inverse problem of the 6.0-on Zenos dialogue issue, except there it's bad because they're ignoring multiple expansions worth of people writing around having accepted him instead of offering annoyed/angry options that fit that—with G'raha I'm basically never even allowed to so much as try to establish boundaries, and the one time I tried an option I thought was that in 6.0 the cutscene that followed was physically sickening and marred the entire rest of the area for being a downright evil act of manipulation presented as cute devotion. If I'm not allowed to be angry at him for that, I'm never going to be allowed to be angry at him for anything else.

Honestly, if they stopped trying to cute him up it would be more tolerable. I still wouldn't like him, he's dug far too deep for that and even if he hadn't I am very slow to forgive wasting the irl player's time, but at least I would feel like I wasn't having him pushed on me by the writers and that his flaws were being taken seriously as potential conflict fodder.

(If you come into my clearly labeled ventpost that can't be reblogged asking about my faves, I'm coming for you with a literary analysis knife and a reminder that one is an antagonist whose obsession and poor boundaries are consistently shown as being absolutely horrifying even as they are the closest thing he understands to true devotion and the other is a character I would genuinely like more if the player was able to ask him to not fucking hit on the WoL all the time even if i might not use the option, even though I know the latter could never have happened due to time/money costs and the extremely severe crunch of the time he was being written.)

#final fantasy

[drdubz]

Authorblues chose Violence, now so do I.

These past couple of years have been weird for artists. Some saw productivity rise as they had to rely on art (like me, weirdly got way more traction). We had to then battle with the obvious NFT grift that is now collapsing while most of the winners of it walk away with undeserved money. Now that crypto and Web3 bullshit has died down we're onto the next weird tech scheme: AI art.

As a person who has used AI art generators in the past for a Lancer game, I feel I should apologise for my ignorance. I've felt the power I have at my hands, and I certainly understand that it's kind of addictive, and unfortunately inevitable. That said there absolutely SHOULD be a pushback on the commodification of it. It SHOULD be vilified and it SHOULD be regulated on artist consent.

So, the one argument I see is that it empowers non artists to create. Like.. sure, I guess, it's still art. It's a soulless sludge, but it's still art. It doesn't deserve the praise though because there was no story behind it. Even the objectively worst art in history at least has an interesting story that reveals the humanity within. It is true however that those without the equipment or skill is empowered to create with a few keystrokes.

The problem arises however when we know that higher ups in big production companies are also, in as much as we can stretch the definition of the term, human. In a tweet that makes so much sense it made me sit back in my chair and ponder for way too long, it was noted that artists in the future would expect to use these tools to boost productivity. As such, this means that art sectors in companies can then be reduced, since AI will provide tools to speed up generation of product.

So while the chosen few watch their coworkers get laid off, they are then saddled with the simple fact that yes, they're providing more productivity, but their salary doesn't change. Their job becomes less meaningful, in both the volume of work that is expected and the importance of a single person's ability. You can guarantee a higher up doesn't care, the tech doesn't exist to help artists, it exists to cut corners and costs, and we all KNOW where the bloated slices of the money pie goes in game and film production.

I've also noticed a trend that it's very often artists who're advocating and speaking out against industry crunch. This goes for ALL facets. We're not against programmers, we're against grifters and people who exploit art and artists. We rarely, if at all, see the AI advocates present a both sides argument when they demand one of artists, who in a fair few cases do see merit in AI art when used ethically and on a personal level.

But in the end, us digital artists rely on good programmers to make good programs. Thing is we -pay- for those programs. Even Adobe where I'm the 'you can always pirate it' guy has to make money, and they do, they're industry standard. But the thing about the market is that we can move on to buying a different program, like I did with Clip. Yes, they can demand money for their programming skill, but people who program AI art generators are doing so off the backs of people who don't even realise it's happening to them. So yes, we're hostile because they wouldn't EXIST without us, and there's no compensation whatsoever.

This is the part that made me mad about Auth telling us we had to read that godawful thing that ended in the term 'democratization'. Like fuck you dude who said that, stealing isn't a democracy, and even if it was it certainly doesn't make it right. At that point the advocates shouldn't even try to justify anything, should just stay quiet and soulless, carry on without trying to be some philosophical genius who can take a higher ground because they can. They have no defences and they should stop trying.

In the end, we see what they're doing. They're the tracers who get called out on FA and are run out of the community and make sad journals about how everyone was mean to them and find a bunch of weird friends who're also outcast because they don't understand that good artists tore themselves apart to get to where they are. The product matters more than the ethics, and in a world where rich people can no longer convince the masses that those without the same money are jealous, we see exactly what's going on.

It fucking sucks man.