#and the whole song shes like You're still your own your ribs are not from a man etc etc | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

shittybundaskenyer · 2 years

Text

✹ ▬ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍, 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓

rating: Explicit

pairing: Arthur Morgan x F!Reader

summary: You want some love and Arthur gives it to you selflessly.

warnings: high honor Arthur, reader thinks she doesn’t deserve love, touch-starved, smut, porn with feelings, fingering, gentle sex, love confessions, angst and hurt/comfort, daily overdose of metaphors, can Arthur please hug me?? I really need it

word count: 2355

a/n: i wrote this in a few hours bc i couldn’t sleep and wanted to feel loved. pretty much all of this is self indulgent rambling about love, spiced with some lovemaking, but i hope you like it guys! <3

MASTERLIST | ARCHIVE OF OUR OWN

The sunlight lays down on the gently rolling waves, water and thousands of tiny, glittering stars, sun-mirrors, father and mother of all life, silent lovers meeting halfway. Their union paint streaks of white light onto the bottom, over round stones scraped smooth, over rainbowlike fish scales and hidden imprints of a forest long since dead, mummified in slate and rock.

That's how he meets you.

With the force and gentleness of the sun.

It feels too close. The heart of a star's birth, flames swirling into ribbons of heat, his heart the epicenter, rumbling, crumbling, and you get scorched, slowly, like how rot burns a fallen tree into rich earth. Bugs and fungi and critters latch onto the bones of your ribs, prying them away, open, until there's a hole wide enough for the sunlight to get in. Love, love, love. A word both too weak and too strong to capture what you mean. It catches on the tip of your tongue like a fallen droplet of sweat. Salty-sweet.

Arthur kisses you, and fuck…

The light gets in.

His lips, your lips, a song, a ballad, a poem, a killing, a fight, an embrace.

Get in. Let the light get in. Inside. Put it inside me, your light, put in everything, I want to feel whole, just a little, just what you can spare.

"Shh," he whispers, and you don't realize, not until the soothing gentleness of his voice, that you said it all out loud. Quiet, barely audible babbles. A confession. A lie. The barest truth that is so raw it still bleeds fresh crimson. "I gotchu sweetheart."

Dread fills you for a second, the realization of what you've done. No, no, no, no! Not like this, you didn't want to say it like this, how could you? You ruined it all, the naked vulnerability of the moment, the thin veil of peace that descended upon the pair of you when Arthur pulled you into his arms and then pressed you into a patch of soft, yellowed grass.

I ruined it, goddamn ruined it.

But Arthur doesn't back away. Instead, he presses a finger to your chin and smooths out the crease that is forming there, a foreword of tears. He kisses you instead, again, softly, choking your tears off and making you hiccup into his eager mouth. He swallows it eagerly, your sounds of desperation and disbelief, and after a few tortured seconds, your shaky sigh of relief.

"What do you want?" he whisper-kisses, barely parting from you, hands coming around your head, caging you in. A cage made from arches of bone and flesh and sun-worn skin, overarching the frozen heap that is your body. Between cracks of striped blue cotton fabric and horse-smelling leather, the light glints in.

Christ, you don't know.

You never know how to answer a question like this. It's simple. It's the most difficult of all.

You want just this, just like how he wants it, it doesn't really matter, because you're finally not alone and he's warm and after days of cold rain the sun peeked through the clouds and the snow-capped mountains. You want everything. You want to tell him to leave and never come back. You want him to go and be happy. You want… you hope maybe he can be here, with you.

Arthur waits, and the tears prickle your eyelids, bubbling, bitter globs of liquid sorrow, getting weaved into your eyelashes like autumn dew over blades of yellowed grass.

He coaxes the answer out of you.

A thumb on your cheek and kisses. Many, gentle presses that draw a path down the side of your nose, the corner of your mouth, your brows. He traces them again and again, like how wild animals walk the same path to a river day after day. He waits, because he wants to, because he chose to, because maybe you're worth the time he sacrifices for being with you.

You ain't—

Shit, this is harder than anything you've ever done.

Admitting a want is like admitting a sin. The altar is the meadow around, below, the beating flesh of the earth, and the priest is the sun, listening, always listening.

You confess.

Broken, half-sobbed syllables.

Somewhere, between words of pain and fear and the curse of being alone, always alone, his name.

Soft.

Kind.

Some angel disguised between a horde of devils.

"Whatchu really want, honey?" he tries again, because you're avoiding the question. 'Course you do. That's the only thing you've learnt like an instinct, like breathing or eating, because you had to. Because it was always convenient.

I want—

You. Us. Something more than me.

"Whatever you can give me," you press out between trembling lips and too-close teeth.

That's enough. That's fucking everything he wanted to hear.

Arthur gazes down at you, blue-green eyes swirling wild, a summer storm that somehow swam over to the cold days of October, lightning and thunder and showering rain. The sun has seen enough. Sins and confessions and love. She dips behind a puff of white clouds, and that's the exact moment Arthur leans to you and takes your lips like how he always wanted.

Because he did.

And he does.

So much it burns.

There's a bare second you think you'll cry, but the warmth blooming somewhere in a deep hidden part of you makes the tears evaporate. Your own personal sun, a star being born, the force of its explosion making the bones in your chest rattle and ache. You shudder against him and he grabs you, kneads your flesh, makes it warm—no, hot, in their wake, makes it tingle and buzz like a swarm of bees under tired skin.

His tongue swipes your lip, his lashes tickle your cheek, and then another wall crumbles and falls, weaved in by flowering vines—choked by them. You let him in. The door of your heart, the poorly patched-in hole in your defenses, the seam of your mouth. He invades, like a force, like a storm, like a thousand horsemen tasked with a siege.

He invades, and he's welcome here.

You let him lick into your mouth, let him map out the shape of you, let him kiss you until there's no breath left in your lungs and no space between your chest and his. You feel his heart against your breast, beating wild, bucking like a mustang caught on a rope, and your own flickers alive, a fire stroked back to a flow of summer-colored flames.

"How much ya want?" he mumbles between two kisses, a softer and a passionate one, the kind that ignites the torch of unholy needs of the flesh.

How much of what?

"I don't know," you pull away, shy, shy of this cursed want inside you, but the fire is already roaring, and there's no river that can stop its towering flames. A spark can jump over.

"Will ya take everythin' if I offer?" he noses along the side of your face, presses a kiss where your ear meets your jaw.

Your bodies aligned, like constellations, have power in them.

Power that can be released, that can be reigned. Like horses. Born wild and free, only tamed proper by those who are worthy.

Arthur offers you that.

And you feel the urge to cry again.

"What if I want to? Does that make me greedy?"

Arthur almost chuckles. You feel his smile pressed to the crook of your neck.

"I have many sins, darlin'... This ain't one of them."

And he's back, because he can, because he really wants to, and you kiss and kiss until he wedges himself between your legs, just to feel even closer, just to show you .

There's a simmering fire there, embers he blows whiskey on as he settles, and Christ , he's hard, and he knows, because he grinds it to you, he makes it catch aflame proper, makes the crushed seed of love bloom into a flower.

You grow wet between the thighs, and he knows that too, because you feel his smile against you, the insistent firmness of his hands grabbing parts of your flesh, the fat on your hips, even through your riding coat and thick jeans.

"Can I touch ya?" he asks, peppers gentle presses of his lips above the collar of your shirt.

You're already doin' that.

Why ask anyway when I'm yours?

"You can do anythin'," you whisper back, finally brave enough to slide your hand up to his nape, brave enough to slip your fingers into his hair. "I'd let you do anythin'."

"Don't say that or I'll—," he bites back the rest, but you feel his meaning when one of his hands goes down to your belly, to the seam of your pants to dip in.

Wait, this is—

You never thought you could—

"Or you what?" you prompt him to finish, distracting you from the way he carefully makes space for his fingers in your jeans, almost carving it out for them, until he can slip trigger-calloused fingers into coarse hair on your mound.

There's a noise.

A squeak. A whisper-shout.

A sigh of surprised relief.

"Or I can't hold myself back," he murmurs and he fingers the spot where your folds part, just above your clit.

"Then don't."

You know what you want, and this is already so much more.

Arthur's eyes jump back to you, but there's no mirth of a joke in your gaze. You're dead serious.

He kisses you for it, hard and needy and passionate and you finally learn to reciprocate, to take what he offers.

Arthur tears at your pants, pulls on the buttons, makes you wiggle them down enough so his hand can fit. It's so broad, so warm, but your thighs are warmer, and softer, and he touches them with the greed of a young thief that wants to steal the moon off the night sky.

"Please, please, please…" you babble, and he obeys, parts the seam of your cunt that glistens surprisingly wet after such a short time. "Touch me, stuff me, I don't care," but you don't have to plead for more.

I don't want to feel this empty.

"I gotchu, darlin'."

He pushes two fingers in, and you cry and sigh and keep whispering his name like a chant. He slides them deep enough to stretch good, to make his palm grind against your clit, and he moves them, slow, hard, and then faster when you start to sing like an early songbird, cunt squeezing and squelching and sucking him back greedily every time.

"You're so pretty," he says to you, leaning in again to steal a kiss, to make you believe he's sincere with his words. "So goddamn clever," another kiss, a lot softer. "So goddamn perfect for me."

You feel like the red string of fate is wrapped around your throat like a cord, choking you, barely reborn from the womb of the earth after sinking too deep. But Arthur… Dear, gentle Arthur pries it away. Makes the bruises fade, the red string still tight on his own neck.

He moves his fingers and you don't have time to think. His palm grinds over your mound, clever circles, and your want tickles over the crease in it, clear and white, and his fingers are thick with it too, sliding back and forth, apart and together, making way for something more.

"Want you inside me," you tell him, leaning close to his ear, and he nods, makes it a mission to have you, even though he first wanted to draw this whole thing out. There's no time. Not enough before your walls try to build themselves back together.

"How?"

"Don't care," you pull on him, on the soft hairs on his nape and he kisses you in return, a reassurance. You reach for him, tug on the buckle of his belt, the front of his pants. He muffles a groan into the side of your neck, marks the place of it with a gentle peck.

You both move.

There's no grace in the movements you two make—you turn to your side, legs still trapped from mid-thigh down by your jeans, but it's enough for Arthur to tease the head of his cock between your folds, the angle making it hard to push in at first, his clothed chest heaving against your spine, his breath puffed into your shoulder.

But when he finally fits—

When he finally embraces you from behind…

There's no chance of this being a one time thing. It's love. Love, love, love, love. Thick, slow, glorious, just like the way he takes you, just like how he picks away the pieces of you until there's nothing left but the naked buzzing rainbow-edges of a soul.

Your naked soul.

And his, slowly wrapping itself around.

You make love out under the sun and the clouds and the azure sky. They're witnesses at the trial of your heart, feather light now, the truth spoken by hands and lips and the cradle of hips.

You love him, so goddamn much.

You try to say it with the embrace—with your hand grasping his over your belly, with your leg weaved between his own, with your cunt swallowing him deep and making him stay: a church, a mansion, a home. You can be that. For him, you can.

You let the light in.

He shines, and you gather all of it, hoard it, deep down in your chest where blood and flesh beats wildly.

And when he shudders against you, his cock pulled out and pressed between your thighs, thick and spurting warm over the small patch of naked skin—he comes back, with his hand and his mouth, praising you and fingering you until your climax makes your leg cramp up and your tears to spill.

The sun judges you and finds you innocent. The sky, the clouds too. Your soul dances above somewhere, over the autumn meadow of browned wildflowers and yellowing grass, intertwining with his, as one soft phrase rolls off his lips, "you're my own missing light, sweetheart."

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #high honor arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #rdr2 fanfiction #red dead redemption fanfiction #red dead redemption 2 fanfiction #arthur morgan fanfiction #high honor arthur morgan x reader #ao3 #fanfiction

416 notes · View notes

eroseas · 1 year

Text

ellie williams angst drabble

pairing: ellie/reader or ellie/you

cw: cursing, angsty, misunderstandings, yelling.

an: listen i am a very sad individual and i just need u to understand that before we move on.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥

It's fucking stupid, and you know it. There's really nothing else to it. You knew what you were getting yourself into. Dina and Ellie had that weird on-again off-again relationship, and at first, that turned you way off. It turned you so off you wouldn't even hang out with Ellie alone. This infatuation is a sickness; you'd succumb to it so long ago that it's started to actually feel good. That ache in your shoulders, the dread in your ribs. It's a painful reminder. You are alone. Alone, again.

When you two first started hanging out, it was innocent. A music recommendation, then a song or two, then an album, then the whole fucking discography. What else were you supposed to do? She actually seemed to like you. The hand on your shoulder, that look of support, those soft eyes staring deep into your being. It all added up to something that you longed for. To a friendship, maybe a kind of love you knew only Tommy and Maria had. The lucky ones, you'd call them. The ones who found a love in this life and treasured it so deeply, with every cell in their body. The ones who had found their person, their purpose.

What a joke.

Coming over before dinner turned into coming over for dinner. Then after dinner. Then the whole night. It seemed simple enough; you'd hang out, talk about this life you two live, and you'd laugh. You'd smile. It was such a nice change of pace that you almost forgot: nothing lasts forever.

You can't remember who leaned in first. You can't remember if it was you who broke your own heart; doing the one thing you'd swore not to. You swore you wouldn't get your hopes up. But her lips, and her touch, and her voice just— it just did things to you. You couldn't control that, no matter how much you tried. You think, distantly, that this was supposed to happen. That you were supposed to kiss her, and you were supposed to let her kiss you back. It was a Friday, and your infatuation had turned into something more. If you remember anything, it was that.

"Fuck," Ellie mutters, her face pushed into your neck, her lips brushing against your throat. You shudder, one of her hands gripping your hips and the other on your ass. Her hips knock into your own, and you moan involuntarily, feeling her strap-on against your thigh. You can barely register the concept; the notion that she came here thinking about it, about you, pretty and wet on her dick.

She bites suddenly, a gentle thing, but you grip her arm, tugging, a quiet plea. She sinks her teeth into your flesh, just a tad bit harder, and you hum, content. She sucks a hickey while she's there, and it makes you dizzy; the thought of being marked by her, the thought that you're hers, even for a fleeting moment, you want to believe it. You pray for it to be true, you'll do anything to prove it. She's pushing your shirt up before you can even blink, and she does the same, too.

It makes your mouth fill with sand once you finally notice it. The hickeys on her chest, near her collarbone. From Dina, no doubt. They're fading, though, turning yellow as if they're a couple weeks old. It makes sense; Ellie had told you a couple days ago that they stopped seeing each other again, and while you wanted to believe the finality in her tone, the way she seemed so determined to make it true, you just— couldn't. It was the same story, every time. You're very still, now, still enough that Ellie falters. She tries to catch your eye, and it takes you out of your trance. You manage a tight-lipped smile, but she looks at you in disbelief.

"Seriously?" She asks, her tone sharper than you'd anticipated and you freeze. Your eyebrows furrow, and you stare back.

"What?"

She chuckles, a dry, mean sound. Nothing's funny. You're not sure why she's chuckling like that, can barely comprehend that she's putting her shirt back on. You cover your chest, ice cold humiliation washing down your spine.

"You know, I really thought you understood me," she says, her voice louder than before, "That you saw me for who I am, that you— I don't know, fucking saw how in love I am with you."

You stare. Nothing more you could do than stare. In love? Are you kidding? You shake your head, memories coming back to you like fucking flies in the summer. Ellie and the songs she'd play on the guitar for you, Ellie and the flowers she had planted with you in your backyard, Ellie and the sweets she'd save for you. You scoff, because yeah, she did all those things, with her fucking tongue shoved down Dina's throat.

"Fuck you, Ellie," you spit, tears welling up in your eyes, and she halts her movements, looking over at you, "You have no idea what being in love even fucking means."

She scoffs, her eyes like swords. But you don't give her a chance to interrupt— no, of course not. This isn't about her and what she did. This is about you, and what you didn't do, because you knew it wouldn't work out.

"Being in love means watching that person— the person you love so much it makes you ache— you watch them fuck other girls without a second thought," you stand, snatching your shirt from the couch and tugging it on quickly, "You watch and you support them and you fucking—"

You cut yourself off, the look on Ellie's face too sad for you to bear, and you shake your head. Tears slip down your face. You don't bother wiping them.

"I thought the world of you," you say, quiet, like a secret, "I've loved you for far too long. I saw you with Dina, and you know what I always wondered this whole time?" You ask, pausing for Ellie to say anything, do anything. She shakes her head, shame clouding her green eyes.

"I wondered how fucking stupid Dina had to be to let you go," you admit, stepping closer just to shove at her shoulder. She barely budges, but takes a step back anyway, her head hanging. You cry, maybe for the first time in a while, but you just don't care to remember.

"I watched you, and I waited, and I didn't do anything, no," you say, pushing her back more til her back hits the door, "But that's only because I saw you happy, and loved, and maybe I love you more, but I let you be."

You sigh, shaky, and Ellie looks up at you, regret written on her pretty face.

"But it's your turn, Ellie." You murmur, the ache and the dread and the pain weighing you down. Her eyebrows furrow, and she starts shaking her head, a protest on her lips.

"You need to leave me be now. 'Cause I'm not fuckin' doing this."

"Baby—" She starts, her voice laced in pain, and you shake your head.

"Get the fuck out, please," you say softly, defeated. It takes a while, but she does, eventually. She leaves, and you stand there, with that dread in your ribs, the ache in your shoulders, and now, a sharpness in your heart.

You're alone. Again.

#ellie x y/n #ellie x reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie williams #ellie williams x you #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams smut #ellie williams angst #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ೃ⁀➷; eroseas writes #ellie williams drabble

102 notes · View notes

surfscraped · 9 months

Text

TASK I: CHARACTER PLAYLIST LISTEN TO THE FULL PLAYLIST HERE.

while a lot of these songs are definitely something that kai would listen to, this is really a playlist of songs that represent kai's thoughts, feelings, vibes, personality, etc. throughout her life. some of them represent a person, a place, or an event, but overall it's just a through the years look at kai's emotions and an in depth look at who she is.

Nina, Ella Luna ( like a book I have written, but never have read )

this is actually the song in kai's little character blurb thing and it's essentially a glimpse of what kai desires. there's this whole life for herself that she imagines where she has love and inspiration and there's a sense of comfort and simplicity and stillness but in the best way possible. she's never known what this thing is – feeling content – and it's almost like sometimes she gets a glimpse of it only for it to be just this temporary thing that she's cooked up in her head.

Over the Rainbow, Israel Kamakawiwo'ole ( where trouble melts like lemon drops )

this was a song that her father would sing to her a lot as a child. her mother actually told her that it was one of his favorite songs to sing to kai back when she was nothing but a baby bump. like it was definitely one of those songs you hear a lot on the island, but growing up, it always meant something different for kai. for kai, that song was about the tremendous amount of love in her family. it was also the first song she'd learn on ukulele ( taught by her father, of course ). now with her dad gone, it's a song of comfort and one of the ways that makes her feel close to her dad again. singing it helps to make all of her anxieties go away, even if only for a little bit.

Ribs, Lorde ( and i've never felt more alone, it feels so scary, getting old ) Vienna, Billy Joel ( when will you realize vienna waits for you? )

both of these are just very poignant songs about adolescence. ribs hits at more of the bittersweetness ( is that a word ?? ) of growing up and the kind of fear that goes along with that because you feel like you're leaving a lot of things behind. vienna is more about how kai, like a lot of teens, really was in a rush to grow up. her mom was working a lot and kai essentially became an almost parent for her younger sister, too. i think for kai, that was really the peak of her being like 'i just wanna be grown and be my own person and do what i want to do' without realizing that the rest of her life can wait, she doesn't have to rush towards it.

Bags (Recorded at Electric Lady Studios), Clairo ( can you see me using everything to hold back? )

this just feels like one of those quintessential 'queer girl has feelings for her best friend who's a girl' songs, so that's basically what it signifies. just one of those classic young queer experiences that kai also went through. her name was emily and she'd grown up thinking she didn't like the other girl because she too smart, too nice, too perfect, that it just couldn't be real. then the two of them became best friends in middle school and kai realized exactly what she was feeling – and it wasn't hate.

Lava, Kuana Torress Kahele, Napua Greig, James Ford Murphy ( no longer are they all alone with aloha as their new home )

young love is just so idealistic and beautiful and maybe a little too romantic, but that didn't stop kai from pining. she wanted to find that forever love so badly, to find someone else who may have been waiting to found and to be loved like she was. she wanted the kind of love her parents had, the kind where you find the half of your soul, the person that just makes everything make sense. to find a future with that person and make a home with that person... that was what kai wanted more than anything.

all the kids are depressed, Jeremy Zucker ( i think too much, we drink too much ) LIMBO, keshi ( i am a fraud, i am the shit, hoping that nobody notice ) GROWING UP IS _____, Ruel ( new regrets, new mistakes, growin’ up is strange )

these songs are essentially just all about the struggle and weirdness of growing up. through most of kai's life, she always was sort of the odd one out – getting in trouble in class for not paying attention, doing too much, not doing enough – and sometimes growing up, there's so many conflicting things that people are telling you that you sort of get whiplash from it all because you never feel like you're doing anything right. but through it all, you kind of just pretend you're okay, pretend that you know what you're doing even though everything is still so new to you.

champagne problems, Taylor Swift ( i dropped your hand while dancing, left you out there standing ) coney island (feat. The National), Taylor Swift, The National ( do you miss the rogue who coaxed you into paradise and left you there? )

a pivotal moment in kai's life was when her sister got sick. at that point, i like to think that she was in a pretty committed relationship and it was a very strong one, not something that she had really had before. it was one of those relationships where you hit it off and suddenly you're everything to each other and you finally found what must be the one person in the world that gets you. but the second kai came back to cape may for her sister, everything fell apart. instead of finding comfort in the other, kai pulled away, and it very much became a "i can't do this right now, i'm sorry, you deserve better than me" kind of situation. to this day, she regrets the way she left things, how she ran and abandoned them instead of just communicating. instead of trying to make it work.

Castles Crumbling (feat. Hayley Williams)(Taylor's Version)(From the Vault), Taylor Swift, Hayley Williams ( and you don't want to know me, i will just let you down )

man, oh man. the night that kai got that phone call about her sister being in the hospital, it was like everything she had built and worked for disappeared. all that mattered was getting home and making sure her family had the support they needed. she finished out the year at temple and immediately went home. she doesn't even think she said goodbye to her roommate before hopping on a bus to get back to cape may. part of her thinks she gave up everything too easily, too quickly – like maybe she had been too eager to leave. a huge part of her thinks that her family is disappointed in her for leaving a place where she was finally thriving to come back to cape may just to do... whatever.

Everything to Everyone (Intro), Reneé Rapp ( forget all your problems, you know that i'm gonna solve 'em )

when kai first came back to cape may, she forced herself to be the stronghold of the family. her mother was busy trying to figure out how to pay all the bills while hoping every day and night that she wouldn't have to mourn a child. at the same time, kai was having to watch over her sister and make sure she was comfortable, that she always had someone with her for her treatments. while she doesn't blame her family, she didn't necessarily have an outlet for the despair that she herself was feeling. and with her trying so hard to be strong for everybody else, she'd cut out anyone who would have checked on her.

Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High?, Arctic Monkeys ( incapable of makin' alright decisions and having bad ideas ) Renegade, Big Red Machine, Taylor Swift ( is it really your anxiety that stops you from giving me everything or do you just not want to? )

these two songs really exemplify the period of kai's life when she was back in cape may and having a hard time adjusting to being back and she was just up the wazoo making all kinds of bad decisions. there were so many nights where she'd go out and drink and find hookups and it was really a way for her to get out her frustrations about being "stuck" in cape may again, a place that's never really felt like her place. any relationship she had at this time was very short-lived, with kai just being so closed off to any type of commitment, and it led to kai being on the receiving end of a lot of people telling her to get her shit together because otherwise, she just was never going to have a relationship that worked.

Always Get This Way, The Aces ( and i'm trying really hard not to fall apart if you don't mind )

the worst part about coming back to cape may, especially after everything had settled down with kalea's diagnosis, was when everyone kept trying to figure out what she was going to do next – are you going back to school? are you going back to pennsylvania? are there any closer schools? i heard you were doing well at temple, i'm sure they'd be glad to have you back! those months were when when the insomnia started. her restlessness would bleed into the early hours of the morning, and she'd be out walking to the beach at sunrise. the last thing she wanted was have everyone be disappointed in her or be upset with her for not picking up the life she left behind. kai was just trying to keep it together.

this is me trying, Taylor Swift ( so i got wasted like all my potential )

this song kind of plays on the theme of kai feeling like she's disappointed a lot of people, especially her family. she was finally in a place in her life where she felt like she was completely and wholly herself and that that was a good thing, but she decided to leave it all overnight and not go back to it. she has this fear that even if she tried to go back, it wouldn't be the same and it wouldn't be good for her anymore. so instead, she'll do her best to make a life in cape may and help support her mother and see her sister off to college. and hopefully in the process she'll stop mourning the life she lost and find a way to forgive herself and move on and find something else to make her feel like herself again.

Sometimes - From "Fire Island", MUNA ( sometimes i run, sometimes i hide ) Searching For A Feeling, Thirdstory ( you won't get far, with my cold, cold heart can't give you something i can't find )

kai hasn't been in a committed relationship since college, where it crashed and burned because of her running back home. there's so much in her that can love, but the thought of being in a relationship genuinely terrifies her. the idea of losing someone in the way her mother lost her father is enough of a deterrent without adding on the fact that she almost lost her sister, too. kai has essentially convinced herself that she's just... not good with love. every time someone thinks they can break through the walls she's built, kai only reinforces them. she thinks it's better this way, that people are better off finding someone who can love them back the way they deserve.

Who Do You Think You Are?, The Band Camino ( how did you get so far away from everything you thought you'd be at seventeen? ) i drive me mad, renforshort ( eyes closed, not sleeping, i'm stressed, you're dreaming )

sometimes kai genuinely doesn't know who it is that's looking back at her in the mirror. she feels like there was a point in her life where the world and the rest of her life was waiting for her, and she wanted to do and be so many things. and now she's this person that almost trudges through life so routinely without any of the same passion she used to have for things. part of her feels bad for the way she's been because she feels like everyone else is just living their life while she's like two steps away from spinning out at any second. she drives herself crazy wishing she could just get it together, to figure out what she wants to do so that she could direct her restless energy to something that actually gives her purpose.

Don't Tell My Mom, Renee Rapp ( at least in her mind, hеr daughter is fine )

to kai, her mom is the best person in the world. even after losing her husband and kai's dad, she was so strong and she did what she could and what she needed to make sure that they could keep going. when everything became a little more stable, kai did her best to be a good kid, taking care of her sister and trying harder in school, but unfortunately, kai received more calls home than she would've wanted. now that kai's older, the last thing she wants to do is be a burden on her mom again. she knows that her mom would take on her struggles, and so kai very pointedly and carefully hides her struggles from her mother.

Rainbow, Kacey Musgraves ( well, the sky has finally opened, the rain and wind stopped blowin' but you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again )

this song illustrates the way kai has sort of felt stuck in the crisis that brought her back to cape may. it's been over a year since her sister has gone into complete remission, but it's almost like kai doesn't know how to pull herself out of that harried mindset she had while her sister was sick. she almost blatantly refuses to look around see that things are better, that she doesn't have to be so concerned anymore. instead, she throws herself into her jobs, all the while everyone close to her is just trying to get her to breathe and see that the skies have cleared up.

The Show, Niall Horan ( if everythin' was simple, how would we know? how to fix your tears, how to fake a show )

kai has reached a point in her life where "life is what it is." that regardless of all the heartbreak and pain and grief, it can be really good. she finds these glimpses of brightness and newness sometimes that show her that life can be the kind of thing that she used to imagine. she can see that in her friends, a lot of them finding their purpose and falling in love and building everything out of nothing. she can see that in her family, her mother who's finally started dating again and her sister who was making up for lost time with her friends. she's slowly, but surely making it out of that storm she's found herself stuck in and hopefully in time, she'll see that there's still a whole life out there for her to have. that things don't always have to stay broken or hard and sometimes, you can have something really good.

Fish and Poi, Sean Na'auao ( flashbacks reminiscing about that one very first luau ) Honololu City Lights, Keola & Kapono Beamer ( you are my island sunset, you are my island dream ) Aloha 'oe, Hapa ( one fond embrace, a hoʻi aʻe au, until we meet again - Aloha 'Oe )

these songs are essentially scattered throughout kai's playlist because they're sort of just integral to who she is. her native hawaiian background is a such a massive part of how she grew up, both on and off the island, and she'd definitely be lying if she said she didn't miss being back there. aloha 'oe is a hawaiian folk song written by queen lilu'uokalani, then the princess of the hawaiian kingdom, about a farewell between two lovers. the song is a hugely famous hawaiian cultural symbol, so it's a song that kai holds very close to her heart.

#this is so extra lmao #but music is such a *chefs kiss* way of developing a character #the amount of wanted connections ideas that popped into my head writing this is wild #kainoa gil ❮ soundtrack ❯#kainoa gil ❮ task ❯

4 notes · View notes

spainkitty · 1 year

Text

How Much Symbolic and How Much Real?

Part 1 of 5

Tags: Arranged Marriage AU, also 'what if Arlathan never fell and the Evanuris were defeated' AU, Cullavellan, slow(ish) burn, mentions of past (like really really past) Sola vellan, basic DA fantasy setting with a lore-twist

There was something amazing about it. A whole world had sprung up while she had slept.

So many nations and races and peoples. So many stories and songs and legends. There were cities that could compare with her home, perhaps not in magic or depth, but in sheer scope and ingenuity. There had been heroes come and gone, wars fought and won. So many that it dizzied the mind trying to keep them all in order.

And something even more amazing was how little her own world had changed despite everything.

Arlathan was home. It was beauty and light and everything she'd ever loved about her People showcased in one place. Spirits taught in grand halls and Elvhen walked boulevards made of magic and crystal. With the Evanuris long defeated and the end of slavery an "embarrassing blight" safely millennia in the past, Arlathan was even more glorious than her earliest years of existence.

But Lanil Surana strode the paths and corridors and parks like one caged. Whether on the outskirts of the Arlathan Forest where her clan resided or deep in the heart of Arlathan itself, Lanil felt the same.

Desperately and absolutely bored.

She snorted quietly to herself. She knew exactly what that sounded like. Like a whining child not past their hundredth year. Bored. Bored. What would others say if they heard that?

You're a mage and warrior, Surana. Surely you can think of something interesting to do.

Bored? When the Fade is at your fingertips, when magic and life has no bounds?

Do you want another rebellion, Surana? Do you miss the glory of fighting at the Fen'Harel's side?

Lanil rolled her eyes and barely kept a snarl from her face. It always came back to Solas in the end, didn't it?

"Lane!"

She stopped mid-stride with a slight smile on her face and an uptick in her mood. Only one voice was so young and bright. She turned to see the young, dark-haired Elvhen running through the shimmering corridor of the Grand Hall.

Once, this had been called the Way of Elgar'nan. There had been a lot more ostentatious gold around, too. She liked the look of it now, with its living decorations of trees and flowers and dainty halla running riot and beautiful among the glassy white stone and gleaming blue Veilfire. The Elvhen woman running towards her matched this new look much better; her bare feet all but silent, her clothing of green and brown and black melding with her surroundings.

"Merrill. Or should I say First Alerion?" Lanil said, bowing with a flourish as her friend approached.

Merrill's fair skin flushed cherry-red as she laughed. The twining and complex branches of Mythal's vallaslin on Merrill's face was new, but not shocking. Many Elvhen continued to honor Mythal after her betrayal. Especially mages. It probably helped there was no actual slave binding in the action of it with Mythal long dead; the spark that lit the rebellion.

There had been talk at one point of creating a Fen'Harel vallaslin. Lanil still grinned when she remembered Solas' utter fury and disgust. It had shaken all of Arlathan's beautiful crystal towers.

"Just Merrill, don't be a twit," Merrill retorted, elbowing Lanil's ribs.

"Twit? Sounds like somebody's been in Kirkwall recently," Lanil noted with eyebrows rising, careful to keep her voice low. Merrill smiled happily.

"I have! I tried to invite you, but Keeper Lavellan said you were on one of your 'wanderings'," Merrill said. Her smile, usually brighter than sunshine, dimmed. Ah. Concern. From someone who was actually a youth. "You've been wandering the Fade a lot recently. You're not... you're going to leave again?"

"Not anytime soon," Lanil said, though she wasn't sure how honest she was being. "Maybe whatever the Council has called us for will be interesting enough to keep me awake for another century or two."

"Don't joke. We've barely started becoming friends. I never would've been brave enough to--"

"Not here, Merrill."

"Oh. Right."

Merrill glanced around warily and obviously. Lanil wasn't exactly subtle herself, but Merrill was a stampeding herd of gurgut in comparison.

"So you don't know what the Council wants?" Merrill asked as they continued onward. Owls were perched on the trees, their wide knowing eyes glinting with blue fire as they watched the two Elvhen. The boulevard branched in several directions and Lanil led Merril to the widest branch that twined on and on in a lazy spiral upward.

"No. Neither did my Keeper. She would've told me."

"If even the infamous Stormrider doesn't know, perhaps I should become concerned?" a voice remarked, dry and hoarse. And instantly familiar to Lanil.

"Tabris."

A figure somehow appeared in front of them as if from shadow, although this section of the Upper Walkway was much too bright for a sliver of shadow to exist. Like Lanil, her skin was dark tan, but there were no other similarities (that other Elvhen didn't also have). Her nose was strong and hawk-like, her eyes like pitch and slanted at the corners, her hair thick and straight and as black as her eyes and cut at chin-length. A scar cut all along leftside jawline, as if someone had tried to slice her throat and barely missed. Which was exactly what had happened; Lanil had been there to see it happen and helped heal it. Long, deadly daggers were sheathed at each hip, but there were definitely more daggers hidden out of sight. Despite her suspicious glare and stone-like expression, she and Lanil clasped hands warmly, tightly.

It only takes one time for someone to rescue your life to consider them a friend, in Lanil's opinion. And they'd saved each other countless times throughout the many horrific years of the rebellion.

"Mahariel was also summoned. She went on ahead," Danae Tabris said as their hands released.

"Mahariel? The Rynira Mahariel? The one who--" Merrill exclaimed breathlessly. She broke off. All three of them frowned at the same time, gazes catching.

"That's four of the youngest Elvhen currently alive, and only women," Lanil stated the obvious out loud.

"You think... that's on purpose?" Merrill asked, voice a little squeaky.

"Nothing else connects the four of us. Two mages, but also a dagger-wielder and an archer? Mahariel and I fought in the rebellion, but you and Danae weren't born yet. We both have sworn to Mythal, but Danae and Mahariel never retook vallaslin."

Danae snorted and barely kept from spitting in distaste. "I can't believe you kept yours," she muttered.

"I was a sworn initiate of the Well--" Lanil started hotly.

"Yeah, yeah." Danae rolled her eyes and cut the air with her hand sharply. "The Council is known for patience and all, but I want to suck out the venom and get it over with. Let's move on."

Without waiting, Danae turned on her heel. Merrill and Lanil followed quickly, the younger Elvhen sidling closer to Lanil.

"You don't think they know about Kirkwall, do you?" she whispered to Lanil.

Lanil hesitated, worry and its usual accompaniment of anger wormed its way into her head. She didn't need permission to do whatever she damn well pleased. After a moment of stewing, Lanil shook her head.

"Tabris wouldn't be caught dead sneaking out to play with the quicklings. I don't think Mahariel is fond of anything outside her clan, either. So that can't be the reason why we've been summoned."

Merrill pressed a hand to her chest and let out a relieved sigh. The rest of the walk was in silence, which scratched at Lanil's vaneer of calm. She wasn't good at silence. Or waiting. Or wondering.

Stepping in the huge, circular Assembly Hall and seeing every single Eldest in attendance shattered her calm more. Even honored Spirits of Command and Justice and Law hovered among the Elvhen. Was that a Spirit of Wisdom, too? Yes, in fact she knew that Spirit personally, the distinctly feminine-presenting Spirit was one of Solas' dearest friends. The four young Elvhen that had been summoned walked side by side into the middle of the room. Most of the gathered stood or sat along the benches in front of them and rising above their heads, although some were arrayed on either side or behind their backs.

"I'm sure you four have noticed the commonality among you already," stated one of the Eldest with an infuriating serenity and slowness. Halleon had been an Elder during the Evanuris' reign, and it made Lanil want to snap her fingers in his face every time they spoke. "Today we ask you to consider, with all the due weight and severity that it entails, a proposal from the quickling kingdom of Ferelden."

The four woman glanced at each other in confusion. But Halleon did not continue, just steepled his long, elegant fingers and examined them closely.

"Well? What proposal?" Lanil demanded, hands on her hips. Don't snap your fingers at him. Don't snap your fingers at him.

"A proposal of marriage, little one," said Rhona, one of the youngest on the Council and one of the few who was more warrior than mage.

"Oh," Merrill said on a confused laugh. Then, broke off abruptly. "OH!"

Danae, however, started laughing and didn’t stop, head tipped back and shoulders shaking. Not a single note of it sounded truly amused. Mahariel's blonde eyebrows were so far up her forehead, they'd disappeared behind the loose sweep of her bangs. Merrill had both hands over her mouth, her eyes wide enough to pop.

Lanil was stone. Completely and utterly stone.

A proposal of what?!

"Just so I understand the facts," Mahariel began. Her voice was always so lilting and musical, as if she were more bird than woman. It didn't help that her armor had feathered pauldrons and she wore feathers in her long, pretty, golden hair. For a woman so dainty and pretty, she was one of the most dangerous archers in Arlathan and had a kill count that rivaled Lanil's, probably surpassed it, since she'd once been a disciple of Andruil. "You want one of us to marry one of the quickling?"

"I knew the Ambassador of Ferelden had come, but I didn't know this was why," Merrill whispered.

"The Ferelden ambassador came with an offer of an alliance. A very... persuasive offer," Rhona explained.

"Quicklings are nothing, and we've never needed alliances before." Danae spat on the ground. Several of the Eldest sighed in resignation, although a few nodded in agreement.

"Before we were not surrounded on all sides by powerful nations and empires. Before the quicklings lived in the mud and barely patched together furs for clothing. Before they had no mages that could compare to ours, nor universities in which to flourish their talents. Most importantly, before there was no Tevinter and there was no Qun," Halleon pointed out mildly.

"As long as they continue to fight each other--" Danae started.

"No, listen to them. You live in the heart of the Elvhenan. Many clans do not. For the past few millennia, we have lost border territories while they've chipped away at us like rats nibbling cheese," Mahariel interrupted with her hand in front of Danae. "I've been in skirmishes and lost many good hunters and friends to these quicklings. Especially those that name themselves qunari."

"An alliance with one quickling nation would make the others hesitate," Rhona said. "Or perhaps seek to do the same."

"But why Ferelden?" Lanil heard her voice ask it, but hadn't felt her own mouth move.

"True, it is a young nation..." another voice said. Lanil's eyes darted over to see Tislain. Tislain had once been of Clan Lavellan, and her grey eyes mirrored Lanil's. Lanil wasn't sure it was calming, but she also wasn't sure what emotions were darting wildly in her head. "But it has managed to regain its independence twice despite its... shall we say, underdog position?"

More than several groaned and rolled their eyes at Tislain's horrible pun. Merrill looked at Lanil, who hadn't been able to help her snort of amusement.

"They have a thing for dogs there," Lanil muttered. Merrill groaned in disgust once the pun registered.

"More importantly," Rhona said with a warning look at Tislain, "the newest king has strong ties to Orzammar. The Ambassador has insinuated that a trade for lyrium could be made with their intervention."

Merrill and Lanil gaped.

Orzammar. Willing to trade lyrium. With Arlathan.

Lyrium.

Elvhenan didn't need lyrium. They interacted with the Fade and with magic like other races interacted with... with air. It was incomprehensible to be without magic, even if one weren't a mage.

But long ago, so long ago it made the rebellion feel like yesterday's news, they had access to lyrium. The artifacts they'd created, the spells they'd woven, there were traces of them all over Arlathan. Precious and few traces. Those bits and pieces were hoarded like dragons hoarded treasures and bones. Clans had fallen apart in schisms and blood oaths to never reconcile over debated ownership over lyrium-infused artifacts.

But dwarves despised Arlathan with a hatred as deep as their hidden roads. The Titans might have been lost to their Memories, but the Stone remembered anyway. To think that a quickling--a human kingdom barely out of its infancy could offer even a trickle of lyrium...

Offer a starving person a feast and they will gorge. Lanil herself felt the pang of hunger at the idea.

"But marriage?" Danae asked harshly.

"That's how those quicklings do it," Halleon explained with a negligent wave of his hand. "Their concept of alliances rely on marriage and progeniture--"

"Progen--No. I won't breed with them. I refuse," Danae snapped. She tightened her hands around her dagger hilts reflexively. "You slavering mages can get your lyrium without me."

"That is your right," Halleon agreed.

"Elvhen don't just... leave Arlathan, and elf-blooded quicklings aren't allowed in Elvhenan," Mahariel said. She cocked her hip to the side and crossed her arms over her chest. "How about you explain what exactly you expect from us? Excepting Tabris."

"Consider it more... symbolic. It'll be a human marriage and it'll last as long as the life of the quickling. Any..." Halleon's mouth twisted in distaste, "progeny will remain in Ferelden with no rights or allowances within Arlathan." Halleon paused and sighed. "As long as this marriage lasts, whomsoever agrees to it will not be allowed back in Arlathan. You are exiled as long as you're bound by their marriage contract."

"Exiled?" Merrill whispered.

Danae scoffed loudly. Mahariel frowned and shifted on her feet. Lanil, however, felt her heart beat for the first time since the word 'marriage' was said.

No more sneaking out of the boundaries like a naughty child just to see somewhere, something, new? No more of the same days over and over with the same faces? No more passing like a wraith from eluvian to eluvian to glimpse a world she wasn't allowed to experience and that despised her? No more walking purposeless in Solas' shadow? No more facing the awkward guilt for something that happened centuries ago?

"Me," Lanil said. Every eye turned to her. She squared her shoulders, tipped up her chin, and stepped forward. "It'll be me. I'll do it."

"I told you," Tislain said with a wide grin and glinting eyes. "Surana was the most obvious choice."

"There had to be choice, Tislain," Rhona said, as if she'd repeated it several times.

"You haven't even asked who you have to marry!" Merrill hissed from behind her hand. Uselessly, because everyone could hear.

Lanil raised an eyebrow. "Does it matter?"

"Fortunately, the alliance will be with the commander of their army. You'll have much in common," Tislain said. "Ferelden seems to give their commanders the proper amount of respect."

Several Eldest nodded sagely. Many of them had been leaders in past wars themselves. It was expected of Eldest to have known true combat, to have faced death in a way most Elvhen never would.

Lanil cocked her head to the side. "So we'll spend the few years of this human's life swapping war stories?"

"Exactly."

Lanil snorted quietly and shook her head. But it didn't sound so bad. She hadn't picked up a sword in centuries, but maybe she could learn something new.

Learn something new.

A grin tugged at her lips.

...

Arlathan was more Fade than material world, but many of the clans were settled firmly on the earth. Elvhenan spread across what the quicklings called 'Thedas' like a splatter of inkblots on the map. Perhaps their adversaries would say their borders were like a stain seeping between the lines of all those mostly human nations. While a few clans, and Arlathan itself, had control of a few port cities, Lavellan did not. Lavellan's lands were south of Arlathan, so south most of the quicklings they met were simple Free Marchers who'd accidentally crossed an invisible line into the clan territory without even realizing it. Until they were surrounded on all sides by silent hunters who led them back into their lands like naughty chickens loose from the coop. The Fade made permanent borders tricky or downright impossible, so it happened often.

Merrill had hoped that leaving from Lavellan would mean their journey would lead them down to Kirkwall, but Rialto in Antiva was the closer port. Lanil had been a little disappointed herself. However, the entourage Arlathan had appointed probably would've been impossible to escape for a last night of revels with Merrill's strange friends.

Lanil glanced at the suspiciously glaring Danae and Mahariel's eagle eyes taking in everything around them.

No "probably" about it.

Although they'd denied being the sacrificial pawn in this newfangled alliance, the three other women were assigned to escort her to Ferelden and stay through the confirmation of treaty talks.

Which would end with Lanil's marriage.

She scowled as her stomach turned in knots and it wasn't the unfamiliar smell of the sea. She raised her face to breathe in deep the salty air. Lanil couldn't remember the last time she'd been on the open sea. These past few weeks on the ship had been... wonderful. The first shaking off of the cobwebs on her life. Had the sea air always been so warm and pleasant? The sea so alive? Not even the port city of Highever, greyer and muddier than Rialto had been, dampened her opinion. The gangplank was being set and she wanted to race off the ship, leap through the air and take off through those narrow, jumbled-looking streets. She curled her hands tightly around the railing to hold herself in place. Next to her, Merrill was jumping up and down on her toes. Danae and Mahariel stood like silent and disapproving statues on each side of them.

Lanil's eyes snapped in every direction, nothing too small or beneath her notice. So many humans! And look, dwarves! She didn't know dwarves could leave the Stone! Or sail? There weren't enough to sail an entire ship, so perhaps they lived in Highever or were surface-dwelling merchants? Great white gulls cried and swooped overhead. Ropes and sails creaked and cracked in the wind. A dog as big as a wolf ran down an alleyway, barking and hopping like an eager puppy before racing back the way it had come. The buildings were low, made of stone with wooden roofs and windows were made of foggy glass. The clothing was a mix of rough and undyed, and garishly overdyed with weird puffy sleeves. And everyone wore... shoes? Or were they called boots? Which were boots and which were shoes?

Antiva had been more lively and not so... brown. But even here, languages Lanil had never heard swelled up from the busy crowds. She didn't understand everything! Whole words and sentences that meant nothing! Her eyes widened as Elvhen walked by--No.

Elves. Bor'len

Lost Children.

She couldn't help but crane over the railing to watch them walk by. One of them caught her staring, a look of bewilderment quickly followed by a grimace, and then the Lost Child made an obscene gesture with their hand. Lanil reared back in surprise and scowled at Danae who laughed in her face.

"Look, look! There they are!" Merrill somehow began to bounce even faster. She grabbed Lanil's arm with a suddenness that almost had Lanil recoiling. "Which one is your husband?"

"You are too eager about this, Alerion. It's just a quickling marriage," Mahariel said.

"To a male one," Danae added with a grimace.

"Yes, yes, we all know why you said no, but Lanil likes men, don't you?" Merrill asked, shaking Lanil's arm. Lanil raised an eyebrow at her. "If you're going to have children, aren't you at least interested in what he looks like?"

"You mean she has to breed with it, because everything these quicklings do is about breeding," Danae muttered. Lanil and Merrill both ignored her.

"I planned on lying back and thinking of Arlathan, but I suppose a pretty face in the middle of that wouldn't be too bad," Lanil said dryly, and Merrill laughed. Lanil cared more about the horses and the return of that massive black hound. Everything about Ferelden was so... sturdy and big, not exactly tall or massive, but built on bigger lines. Lanil had never seen a hound so large it could probably snap her spine, not unless it were actually a shapechanger. Merrill barely smothered her laughter as the Ambassador approached them.

"I do hope everything is ready," the woman fretted, watching as the sailors unloaded cargo (most of it not from Arlathan). Strangely, the woman was Antivan rather than Ferelden, but she'd been kind and, no better word for it, efficient during the entire journey. She was also beautiful, sweet, and suffered fools with a cutting sort of grace. A few times, Danae hadn't been able to help the lingering glances she gave Ambassador Montilyet. When she thought no one was looking.

"I don't know how we'd be anymore ready," Lanil said with a shrug.

In Elvish, Danae muttered, "Let's take you to your jailer, then."

Mahariel rolled her eyes and Merrill frowned, obviously about to argue. Lanil shook her head and put her hand on Merrill's arm. Then, the four of them followed Ambassador Montilyet down the gangplank.

...

Cullen tried not to grimace as Cassandra hissed a steady stream of well-intentioned advice beside him. He was pretty sure she hadn't stopped giving advice since Arlathan approved of the alliance Ferelden had proposed with very little hope of success. Queen Aleandria had been sure the alliance relying on the symbolic marriage to a commander rather than a noble or royal would immediately be seen as the insult the council pretended it wasn’t, and King Alistair had been sure immortal beings of magic and mystery would want nothing to do with "that muddy dog country". When Cullen had been told he'd be married off like a pawn in a game of chess after all, Cassandra had been even more offended than him.

And then she somehow channeled his older sister's nosiness and followed him around for weeks to "prepare him" for it.

"Make sure you smile when you meet her. You don't look half bad when you smile--"

"Cassandra, please be quiet," Cullen begged, rubbing at his face.

"Don't do that." Cassandra grabbed his arm and tugged it back down. "What if she saw that? She'll think it's about her."

"Maker preserve me," he whispered.

By his horse's side, his mabari whined and shuffled, ready to run off half-cocked again. Cassandra had said to leave him in Denerim, he wasn't well-trained and barely more than a pup despite his size, but... Cullen had just adopted him. He couldn't let him feel abandoned.

A few sailors came down the gangplank from the ship--The Bodice Ripper? What kind of name was The Bodice Ripper for a ship?--and with them a woman who sauntered and rolled with each step as if she was still at sea. Her high boots and long tunic almost disguised the fact she wasn't wearing trousers. Where in the Void were her trousers? Cullen quickly looked over at the more familiar and more dressed woman speaking with her. Josephine always stuck out in a crowd, but in a good way. All bright silks and smiles and too many ruffles.

And then four elves--No, Elvhen, don't forget everything Josephine and Leliana drilled into your head--came down. He heard Carroll let out a quiet whistle and barely held back a grimace. He'd have to remember to reprimand Carroll later; even if he understood. There was something almost unearthly beautiful about the blonde woman who was all legs and a dancer's sort of grace. But she had a bow and quiver on her back.

Not Lavellan.

Hopefully the darker-haired and darker-complexioned woman next to her wasn't Lavellan either. Not because of the daggers she gripped at her belt. Cullen was more intimi--concerned about the curl of distaste on her mouth and the utter disdain on her face as her dark eyes scanned the crowd of horses.

The next two came down side by the side. The shorter, fairer one with an almost tree-like facial tattoo was tugging at the fourth's arm, grinning wide and pointing every which way. It was nice one of them looked excited... but she reminded Cullen uncomfortably of his little sister despite them looking nothing alike and the Elvhen probably being several decades older than she looked.

The last one, though. She was scowling like the dagger-wielder, but she was looking everywhere her friend was pointing. She was darker, but her short-cropped hair was the color of ivory, spiky and windblown around her face. There was something there, along her cheekbones that glinted, but Cullen couldn't quite make it out. More facial tattoos? He thought Elvhen no longer had them... She was almost as short as her friend and just as slender.

Both wore leather armor, one in green and one in blue. Both carried staves on their backs, one made entirely of wood and crystal, one of smoky grey metal carved into a dragon's likeness at the head.

Cullen couldn't take his eyes off the woman in blue. He wouldn't even let the words form in his head. What would it matter starting a thought like 'please be--'... Nope.

He was trying so hard not to make a fool's wish in his head that he forgot about the mabari.

With a series of loud excited barking, the dumb dog raced towards the women at the bottom of the gangplank. He'd probably caught scent of Josephine, or maybe the scent of a new creature suffused with magic. Cullen bit back an oath and threw himself out of his saddle, Cassandra right after him and not holding her own cursing back.

"Fetch! No!" Cullen shouted as they chased after the damn dog who, of course, didn't even slow down.

Josephine sighed and quickly held up her hands, begging the Elvhen to please not worry. The blonde Elvhen raised a single eyebrow, the angry one loosened her daggers, the smallest one clapped her hands together in delight, and the one in blue stepped forward and knelt. For a woman so small, Cullen winced and expected Fetch to bowl her over. Maybe knock her right into the bay.

Instead, the Elvhen barely moved an inch, gripping Fetch to hold him in place and talked to him in rapidfire Elvish. The mabari actually sat, wriggling in place, stump of a tail going wild, and let both the woman in blue and her happy-go-lucky friend coo and stroke him.

"Fetch, is it? What a perfect name for such a fiercesome beast," she was saying in a softly accented Common. Cullen skidded to a stop as Fetch licked right across her face. Her friend burst into laughter as she grinned widely.

This close, Cullen could see the subtle gold tattoos along her high cheekbones, the scar that cut down the right side of her face from under her eye, forking towards her jaw and down to her mouth, another smaller scar just under her bottom lip, and her obviously broken nose. It made her... look real. Like a real person, not some ethereally perfect elf goddess. When she looked up, her eyes gleamed silver as the early afternoon's light struck them.

"I wasn't expecting such a warm welcome," she told him, her grin becoming more like a smirk.

It's her. It has to be her.

"What's a Ferelden greeting without a mabari," Josephine said with yet another sigh, although Cullen could see the beginnings of a smile. "Enchanter Lanil Lavellan, this Commander Cullen Stanton Rutherford. And his dog, Fetch."

"I should've left him in Denerim, I know," Cullen muttered. He tried grabbing at Fetch's ruff, but it was a bit hard to do when neither he nor Lavellan had looked away from each other.

"No. This is better," Lanil Lavellan said. She was the first to break the eye contact. So she could smile at his dog and scratch Fetch's ears. "It would've been all grand and stuffy otherwise."

"You mean it would've been a whole lot of etiquette while you tried to pretend like you cared," the blonde Elvhen retorted. She looked a bit like that ethereal goddess idea that had gotten into Cullen's head, even her ears were longer and higher, like in an artist's painting of the Evanuris War, compared to Lavellan's wider and lower ears.

Lanil Lavellan shrugged. She got to her feet and stepped around Fetch to hold out her hand. Cullen stared at her, then gratefully clasped his hand around her wrist and she returned it. His hand basically encircled the entirety of her wrist, but her grip was tight and firm belying her much smaller, thinner hand. He wasn't used to a mage displacing that much strength.

"That's a lot of names," she said, her head tilting to the side.

"Cullen. Cullen is fine."

She nodded. "Lanil is fine."

"What about us?" Her friend with the tattoos nudged Lanil Lavellan away. She went with a grunt, her hand dropping from his. "I'm Merrill, I'm an Enchanter, too. You can tell from the staff, right. Anyway. The other scowly one is Danae Tabris and she's Rynira Mahariel."

"This really isn't how it's supposed to be done," Josephine said, utterly mortified.

"It's too late now, precious," the ship's captain teased. There was a quiet thwap and Josephine startled in place and eeped.

"I'm Cassandra Pentaghast. I'm a Seeker of Truth working in the Ferelden court for a time," Cassandra said. She held out her hand and each Elvhen clasped it respectfully.

"Seeker of Truth? Isn't that the same thing as a Templar?" Lanil Lavellan asked with a frown.

"No, their little Chantry split into Seekers and Templars a few hundred years back," Tabris said dismissively.

"You know nothing, Tabris. It was an Inquisition that split into Templars and Seekers," Mahariel corrected with an eyeroll.

"Oh. That. With the bor'len," she said using a word in Elvish that sounded like an insult. Lanil Lavellan said something equally sharp and cutting, and Tabris crossed her arms over her chest and glared off to the side.

Cassandra and Cullen exchanged a look.

"We're not here to talk about the past!" Merrill clapped her hands together and then shoved Lanil Lavellan forward. Lanil Lavellan glared over her shoulder, but let Merrill push her past Cullen and Cassandra towards the end of the docks. Fetch jumped and hopped and ran in circles around them.

"Wait! We need to get your things!" Josephine called after them.

"We trust you to get it sorted," Mahariel said as she followed her compatriots.

"I'll stay to make sure it's done," Tabris muttered, still glaring at nothing. Mahariel trilled a few words in Elvish and Tabris snapped back. Mahariel only laughed.

"Well, this has been something," Cassandra muttered.

"Yeah..." Cullen agreed, watching Lanil Lavellan get shoved towards the squad of mounted soldiers. He startled slightly and rushed after them. "Your horse!"

Lanil Lavellan glanced over her shoulder at him. And she was still frowning. How is it that Fetch got her to smile and he hadn't yet?

He was not going to compete with his dog.

"I have, um, actually you have a horse. This one." Cullen held up a hand and Captain Rylen tossed him the reins to a Green Dales Feral. Cullen caught them to hand them off to Lavellan.

She took them awkwardly, eyebrows rising, only to immediately drop them. Cullen lurched to grab them while she stepped up to the horse. She stroked down the mare's nose, muttering in a mix of Common and Elvish. Like Fetch, the horse made her smile. Cullen dug in his pocket and cleared his throat. Lavellan turned those eyes on him, now a darker, stormier grey out of the sunlight. He held out his fist and dropped a lump of sugar onto her palm when she offered it. She turned back to the mare and grinned when it lipped the sugar right out of her hand.

"Does she have a name?"

"No, Dennet doesn't bother naming the ones he sells. It's up to the new owners. That's you," Cullen explained quickly.

Finally, she smiled at him. A closed lipped, slight thing, but it lightened her entire face.

She looked beautiful.

Cullen cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck, quickly looking away.

"I can't ride."

He startled and stared at her. She was smirking at him now. "You... can't?"

She shook her head. "We travel by eluvian. They can cover long distances in seconds. There's no need to ride horses."

"I thought... the halla?"

"We don't ride halla. They were sacred to Ghilan'nain before... you know, all of that, and now they roam wild," Merrill explained, hands waving around.

Lavellan cocked her head to side, sizing up the horse silently. She walked around, stroking her hand along the mare's neck, then gripped the saddle horn and hoisted herself up in an easy, fluid motion. As if she'd done it a thousand times.

"She's well trained," she said, patted the mare's neck again. "We'll figure it out together."

"These will help," Cullen said as he handed her the reins again. Lavellan grimaced, but shrugged and took them.

"And us?" Merrill asked, bouncing up and down on her toes as her eyes lit up cheerfully. Cullen realized all four Elvhen were barefoot, their leggings that ended wrapped around the arches of their feet the only covering.

"Uh, right. Everyone has their own horse while visiting in Ferelden. It's a long road to Denerim." He motioned at the soldiers leading the other mounts, including Josephine's.

"How far?" Lavellan asked.

"A week at best."

She frowned and leaned towards her mare's ear. "You're beautiful, my friend, but you're not as convenient as an eluvian." The mare snorted and shook her head making Lavellan and the other Elvhen laugh.

Cullen stared at Lavellan, wondering what he was supposed to say or do next. The blonde one, Mahariel, caught him staring. The look of amusement on her face had Cullen's mouth thinning. He nodded his head once and turned away without a word. The Elvhen began to talk in their own language among themselves, sparing no other soldier their attention, while Cullen stood with Josephine, Cassandra, and the stone-faced Tabris to watch his soldiers packing all their supplies. Fetch darted back and forth between the Elvhen and Cullen, barking and leaping excitedly.

The last of the supplies were packed, Tabris was with her Elvhen comrades, and a few soldiers were assigned to stay back to guard the caravan with cargo from several ports. Not quite allies, but not enemies, willing to trade with Ferelden while they had their own sovereignty. As he walked away from the caravan and Captain Rylen, Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. Josephine touched his arm and he glanced towards her, an eyebrow rising.

"Give it time, Commander. I've been travelling with them for weeks and this is the most Common I've heard them speak," she assured, squeezing lightly and briefly. Cullen huffed a laugh.

"Couldn't have been fun for you."

Josephine tsked and waved it away. "Their language is fascinating, honestly. But you must understand, Elvhen don't just leave Elvhenan. Enchanter Lavellan has agreed to become an exile for this alliance and it'll be decades before she'll be able to return home. She'll need time to adjust."

Cullen leaned in close, voice low and heated. "What? No one told me that! This was already a bad idea, and now she probably hates me, too." He scrubbed a hand over his face and braced a hand on his hip. Cassandra smacked his back hard enough to make him grunt. And he was wearing armor.

"She'll have decades to get over it," she said.

Josephine giggled and quickly stifled it at Cullen's look. She skirted away, her face carefully angled down to hide her expression. Cullen ran a hand through his hair, grimacing when his gauntlets caught. When he looked over at the Elvhen, Lavellan was already gazing at him. She didn't need to hide her face, her expression was already unreadable.

Fetch threw himself against Cullen's legs. Cullen let out an involuntary grunt and his stare-off with Lavellan ended. Shaking his head, he lowered to a knee and ruffled Fetch's ears.

"Yeah, I know. I'll get it together," Cullen promised. Fetch barked and proceeded to slobber all over Cullen's face. Because even his own dog laughed at him. Cullen laughed and shoved Fetch's head away, standing to walk over to his mount.

#i also call this What Not to Do When You’re Bored #Cullavellan #Cullen × Lavellan #Arranged Marriage AU #poor cullen is instantly smitten #lanil just really likes his dog #dont worry she'll get there #also cullens entire life is just being surrounded by women #let this poor man have peace he can make his own decisions

0 notes

eligaxy · 3 years

Text

Wind

☆ℜ𝔢𝔩𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔰𝔥𝔦𝔭 : Venti x gn!Reader

☆𝔚𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰 : near death experience, you’re confused asf about everything, bad writing cause i suck, spoilers for the we will be reunited quest!! And also for venti’s backstory, venti is serious for once (yes it’s a legitimate warning🤚)

☆𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔯𝔢 : Some angst, some fluff? Idk bye🤨

☆𝔖𝔲𝔪𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔶 : "It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask." (2.8k words)

♪𝔑𝔬𝔱𝔢𝔰 : i’m an idiot simp, i did this in one sitting and half asleep, english isnt my first language BLA BLA IM SORRY FOR MY POOR WRITING BUT HAVE THIS

basically you don’t know if you can trust venti or not, head says no, heart screams yes

Also, I was listening to stormterror’s lair ost while writing it, just because its fucking amazing, you might wanna listen to it too

I’m nervous to post this?/&:! This is the second fic i’ve ever finished in my whole life

i love venti and he’s hot in his god outfit i don’t make the rules

KAY ENJOY <3

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

Saying you were exhausted would have been an understatement. After reuniting with your sibling, you had been frantically searching for clues about khaenri'ah and ways to Inazuma. With no luck, you couldn't find any traces of Dainsleif or of your twin. The ruins had been sealed and you had no idea what happened to the inverted statue or the corpse you had found there. Desperately, you clung into every little information you had, you would have turned every rock on this archon damned continent if you had to, which is what led you into those ruins near Guilli plains.

Walking along the destroyed buildings your eyes caught sight of a dandelion and you froze. You missed them so much, why couldn't they go back home with you? All you ever wanted was to be by their side why, why were they running away from you?

You remembered your travels, the moments you shared together, their protectiveness over you, the fondness in their eyes when you smiled at them. You remember the times you got hurt and healed one another with your now missing powers. You remember sleeping by their side and being grateful to the universe to let you keep your ray of sunshine everywhere with you. How ironic.

What had they meant 'once you reach the end of your journey' ? What does that even mean? Stupid twin, if they knew you were here the whole time, why hadn't they come to you? Why were they always leaving just when they were within your grasp? Why? Did they know how much you missed them and how much your heart broke when you finally saw them? Did they?

You only realized you were crying when a small gust of wind had your wet cheek react to the cold, breaking your train of thought. Wind.

The wind is everywhere, you think, free as a bird, always accompanying every citizen of this world, never truly alone. With this in mind, you resumed your exploring, slower this time.

A sigh escaped your mouth. You didn't want to admit it, but the wind did comfort you a little. Almost as if he was here. God of freedom and of the breeze, he was more a singer than a protector and you couldn't bear to think about him. Was it true? What Dain said... Did he destroy this nation? Was he the cause of the scenery that still haunted your nightmares up until 500 years later? Your brain simply couldn't accept that Venti, your Venti, you catch yourself thinking, could have made such an act of wrath. He was the epitome of freedom, why would he take the very thing he based all of his existence on from mere mortals? Barbatos simply couldn't be afraid of being overpowered, he didn't even care about power. All he wanted was freedom and happiness for his people. Surley this couldn't be right?

But then again, who were you to deny the wipe out of an entire nation? The gods did it. They were afraid that Celestia would be overthrown by the pride of humankind, the destruction of khaenri'ah by divine beings was a fact. There was no misunderstanding about this. That was the one thing you were sure of. So why did you feel like crying even more now?

The mere thought of a gentle soul such as Venti committing innocent people to an eternity of suffering didn't sit right with you. Even when his dearest friend Dvalin had turned against him, he didn't try to stop him, didn't even ask the dragon to save him. He healed and helped him, gave him a choice.

'What is freedom if demanded of you by a god?' was the same person that asked this question the same one who committed mass murder? Genocide?

Did the little wine-lover bard you had grown fond of destroy all hopes and light your kin had?

You remember that night when he freed Stanley from his burden, freed his and his friends' spirits. You had marveled at his action, in that instant he was a god, and he definitely hadn't struck you as a murderer. You remember that look of silent pain and grief in his eyes when he sang the tales of the nameless bard he had taken the appearance of. You knew he trusted you enough to share his story, something so personal, you could almost feel the war that took down the tyrant of Mond. Oh how much you cherished that evening, treating him to some well deserved dandelion wine afterwards, his favorite, and asking him to sing you more about the time where was nothing but the spirit of a breeze.

Your heart broke a little, remembering his rosy cheeks and drunk smile, you wish you could talk to him, ask him what happened. What did he do, was he really as dangerous as you had been told? If so, then why did you feel so good around him? Why did you feel like you could give hi-

You stopped walking upon seeing a ruin guard up ahead in the distance. You're so stupid, you think. Feeling this way is not gonna get you anywhere, especially with how the bard had been missing for a few weeks now. Ever since you had last seen your sibling.

Where was he, where was he wandering off to? You walk towards the disabled ruin guard, not really paying any mind to it, still thinking about the god you longed to meet with. If you could see him, what would you even say? Would he even answer your questions? Why did your stomach feel so light and funny when you thought about seeing him, why aren't you angrier?

You're almost at the killing machine's level now, so lost in your thought you don't notice the five other similar robots hidden behind a wall next to it. You notice them only when it's too late and you've already turned them on while thinking about examining them and collecting their serial numbers. When you hear the familiar tick of the mechanism turning on, you internally panic and think about running away only to calm down moments later and think to yourself that you can simply beat it and take what you came here for. Even if you are emotionally and physically tired, you can manage, you think.

That was before hearing five other consecutive ticks right after it, and all around you.

Turning around, your gaze falls upon the small army of field tillers. Fuck.

Paimon wasn't with you today, you had asked for some time alone which she hesitantly accepted, so you couldn't ask her to go fetch help. You would have been worried if you had all your capacities but with the state you were in, you were wondering how you were going to survive this fight. You were alone, none of your companions with you, and deeply weakened by the busy day you had and the few hours of sleep you had managed to steal away from the night. Was it today you would meet your doom, with all your questions and uncertainties unanswered?

You tried your best to fight with the strength you had left, but quickly grew desperate after what felt like hours of efforts to swing your blade and being able to only take one monster down out of the six. It didn't help that you got injured along the way, their blows becoming harder and harder to dodge. After being thrown on the grown for the third time, you understood you had at least two broken ribs and that your shaking legs would soon fail you as well.

Fear crept upon you, you would die here today, alone. Alone. You couldn't talk to your sibling after all, couldn't understand. You didn't even get to talk to him one last time. Him... You would die without the knowledge of the truth about your bard. You would die alone. You didn't want that, you couldn't look death straight in the eye.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

In Mondstadt, there was a musician, a weird singer everyone had heard about at least once. He lived off of his songs and was mostly known for having a great story-telling and being an alcoholic.

The number of people who knew the true nature of his identity were few and he was perfectly content with that. He didn't wish to be a god anymore, his gnosis had been taken away anyway and it's not like he had any power over the city of wind nowadays. Even if his people still worshipped him as Barbatos, it didn't sit right with him to be called a god anymore. It actually never did, he thinks to himself with a smile, he never really took any responsibilities that came with the divine title which is why he was so weak today. But it didn't matter to him, his smile turns into a soft giggle.

Sitting on a mill that was once born from his steps he looks fondly over the city he founded. Even if they were godless, the citizens were still thriving and free. He cared oh so very deeply about the place even if he rarely, if not never, showed the affection within his heart. He remembers the day he grew strong enough to dispel the storms over his actual Mondstadt, and made the weather gentle enough so that there was no need for fireplaces. Nowadays, he loves watching birds nest into the chimney tops and seeing them found their own home. It gave him a sense of belonging like no other, not above his people, but walking among them and watching them nest into this cocoon he created. He was proud of what happened to his land and would do it all over again if he had to.

Especially since it led to him meeting you. This thought doesn't catch him off guard, you often roamed around in his mind after all, and it's not like he didn't write at least three songs about you and your feat, your smile, your courage...

Ah there he goes again, rambling about you in a whisper. He turns around to the statue of him his people erected in his honor, chuckling at how they never made the connection with his signature braids. His, but not really his, since he had stolen this form from someone who was much more deserving of this power than him. Seeing his friend being honored with the statues of the seven around the land made him happy, he hoped that it was a good enough thank you gift in return for everything that the bard whom he couldn't even remember the name of anymore did for him.

Upon gazing at the statue, he remembered telling you of his long gone friend. It was the first time he had talked about him to someone else, he didn't even mention it to Venessa, she who made him believe in himself again. He could ask himself why, but he simply knew that you had something different, more than meets the eye. Perhaps it was because you weren't from Teyvat, or perhaps it was just you being as simple as your natural self but he was simply and utterly captivated by your being. You inspired him to no end, at first he thought it was because he had never met someone like you and he loved new things! But as time grew and he got to know you, he understood quickly the meaning and depth of his passions. He thought of it with a light chuckle, content with your presence alone. He really did need and want you around.

So why did he purposely avoid you like the plague?

The wind had brought to his ears that you had met with Dainsleif.

And your twin.

His first reaction was to search for you, talk to you, he wanted to be here to know what happened! You had searched so long, he couldn't contain himself, still listening to what the wind told him, he started running with excitement but... But wait, Dainsleif was... He told you what?

Oh.

So you heard about Khaenri'ah. He had stopped dead in his tracks and turned back, only sending a warm current of wind your way, hugging you from afar.

He wasn't ready to talk about this yet, not ready to face you and absolutely not ready to answer your questions. He was a coward, he thought, running away like that but what else could he do, really. It was only natural for him to be as uncatchable as air.

A sorry excuse to avoid the fact that even if his past had marvelous story like the one of the nameless bard, it also had its share of darkness, something he wasn't ready to dive back into. Especially not now when your arrival has been shaking this world up like it hasn't been since at least 500 years.

But oh, how he longed to see your face or to hear your voice. So he asked a breeze to report to him what you were up to, and where you were. Just in case! he tells himself, what if you needed help ehe? But he knows you're competent and you won't need the help of a weakling coward like him anytime soon. Or so he thought.

Because when the breeze only gives him a few words back, his blood runs cold.

"Please, anybody... Just help me."

As you murmured these words in your desperate state, not really for anyone but yourself as a last resort, a prayer of some sort, you tried to stand by leaning yourself on your sword and failing miserably. You didn't dare look up as you heard the loud footsteps of the metal giants coming your way. It was over, and you barely managed to accept it.

As you rested your forehead against the cold handle of your sword, you closed your eyes, tears starting to make their ways out of your closed eyelids. All you could feel was remorse.

A soft breeze moved your hair slightly and your chest felt like a black hole had taken place where your heart used to be, regretting to not have been able to meet him under the tree at Windrise one last time.

The breeze quickly grew stronger, until it felt unnatural and you looked up from the ground, only to close your eyes again immediately when you realized the wind was too powerful for you to keep them open. If you had struggled to see though, you would have been blinded by the white light that soon illuminated the whole ruins. You didn't have enough time to register the situation when you felt a hand being laid atop your shoulder, snaking around your collarbones and pulling you back into... nothing? Another arm circled your weak form and a voice you immediately recognized said

"I've dealt with things worse than you, now crumble."

You realized that if you couldn't feel a chest behind you while still being embraced by his arms, it was because he was floating above you, and not standing behind you. A look in his direction confirmed your suspicions but what stunned you wasn't the fact that he was flying, but the attire he wore. Barely covering his body, a white set made of materials that seemed like clouds and liquid gold contrasted perfectly with his regular green clothes. His hair was glowing green and his eyes that were focused on the ruin guards up ahead had a marvelous shine that you had never seen before. He had that same aura he did the night he freed Stanley, but there was also something different about the way his hands gripped you a little too tightly or the way his voice sounded.

"Venti.." You muttered his name, relief and affection flooding you all at once, in his presence you felt as if nothing bad could happen to you. How foolish could you be, just a few hours ago you were speculating wether or not he had wiped out an entire civilisation and now here you were, being saved by him and feeling safer than you had in months.

"Close your eyes, I don't want give you a headache" he said, slowly floating legs first towards the ground. His unusually serious voice surprised you (and him) but you did as he told you. Letting go of your sword and leaning back into him, you let him deal with the monsters ahead of you.

"It's okay, it's over now" he kneeled to be at your level, his arms still wrapped around you, and you didn't have the energy to fight your urge of nuzzling into him. "I'll always be here for you, wherever there is wind, remember I'm here too. You only need to ask."

Being protected by a god really didn't feel that bad. Especially when you were in love with said god.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

Thank you so much for reading whatever this is until the end :’)

Don’t hesitate to comment or reblog, tysm <3

Ps: venti loves u and so do i do pls take care of urself mwah

#genshin impact x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact #genshin impact angst #genshin impact scenario #venti x reader #venti x traveler #venti x lumine #venti x aether #el writes♡

296 notes · View notes

mindofasupernova · 3 years

Text

Mr. Sandman

Kaz Brekker x reader

Inspired by the song "Mr. Sandman" from SYML.

Description: Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream. A beautiful illusion of when they were younger, when things were good. A dream where Kaz hadn't shattered her heart into a million pieces, one where Kaz still cared.

Warnings: angst

Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

A beautiful illusion of when they were younger, when it was just the two of them against the world.

Y/N met Kaz Brekker before he earned the name "Dirtyhands" when he was still inexperienced, seeking a way to make fame in the criminal underworld.

Their introduction wasn't a conventional one, the first time he'd laid eyes upon Y/N, Kaz was surveilling a new bank's vault he wanted to crack. Back at the time, Kaz Brekker was just beginning to refine his lock picking abilities, he was more careful, taking longer at figuring out the ways around safe.

Kaz Brekker was attentively watching a vault demonstration the bank was giving in hopes of acquiring new wealthy customers when his bitter coffee eyes landed on Y/N.

She was leaning against a door that led to the bank's depository, eyes closed as if straining to hear the sounds on the other side. A frown upon her face, concentrating, and a few minutes before an employee opened the door she was leaning on, she pushed herself out of the way and left the bank.

The next day, news had spread around the Barrel like wildfire that someone had stolen the diamonds that resided in the new safe that belonged to the bank's depository. That was no coincidence, somehow Y/N had done it. Kaz dedicated his whole afternoon tracking the girl down until he had found her working as a dishwasher in a popular restaurant.

"How did you do it? How did you manage to open the safe?"

Y/N stared back at Kaz, terrified eyes fearing someone might overhear them. Y/N tried to lie about it but he could see straight through them.

"I like memorizing things. I remembered the sounds, every click the locks gave when the vault was being opened." Y/N answered reluctantly

"What kind of things do you like to memorize?" the raven-haired boy prompted.

"Anything that leaves good money."

"I have a job offer for you. "

And just like that, the promise of a very odd friendship began.

____________

Make him the cutest that I've ever seen, give him two lips like roses and clover. Then tell him that his lonesome nights are over.

The truth was that Kaz Brekker wasn't gentle in any way. He was selfish, logically cold, and unafraid of danger if it was for the right price.

Their friendship had bloomed in the blood-stained streets, finding solace in each other to survive the hungry beast that was Ketterdam.

Y/N's memory had proven useful, she was Kaz's little library of secrets. Her mind was the vault that safely guarded all types of information; transactions, blueprints, deals that Kaz couldn't risk to curious eyes. Every word was imprinted into Y/N's mind.

Y/N had lied when she said she only memorized things that brought money. She remembered all of Kaz's little ticks: The way he ran his hand through his hair when he was tired, the grip that tightened on his cane when stressed, the joyous glint in his eyes after a successful job, the almost imperceptible tug of his lips during their late-night talks and the shape of his lips when he proudly explained his plans to her.

Y/N knew it was foolish to fall for someone like Kaz, but her heart couldn't stop racing every time they talked. Couldn't stop her gaze searching for him amongst a crowd, the way her breath hitched every time Kaz looked out for her. It was a childish wish and yet, sometimes she could have sworn Kaz cared deeply for her too.

__________

Sandman, I'm so alone, don't have nobody to call my own.

Where had it all gone wrong? What had she done to Kaz for him to shatter her heart the way he did?

One moment she was getting ready to go on a heist, it was supposed to be easy, gather intel, and escape before anyone knew they had been there. It didn't end well.

Y/N had been given the task to distract their target's bodyguards, pretend to be an injured scared girl in need of assistance, but someone had told them the Dregs would be there. A guard had grabbed her harshly and forced her to give away her crew's location, but when she refused he'd beaten her unconscious.

The next morning she had woken up at the Slat, everyone was worried she might have not woken up. However, as soon as she was healed, Kaz called her to his office.

"Why?" Y/N's broken words were met with silence.

"Have I ever failed you? Have I not done everything you asked for?!" she questioned, tears threatening to fall. "Why are you kicking me out?! This is my home too, my family!"

"You won't have to worry about searching for a place to stay. I've already made arrangements, a small apartment is waiting for you." Kaz spoke, expression unreadable.

Y/N wanted to throttle Kaz, shake him up and demand a reason for his sudden decision. He hadn't even visited when she was injured and now he was kicking her out. He had no right, no right to strip away her found family. Had all those night talks meant nothing to him? Were all those small gestures and tiny smiles a ruse?

"You can't do this! I have all your secrets! I have stood by your side longer than anyone", Y/N screamed at Kaz, eyes begging him to say something. To tell her to stay, to tell her he cared.

She never heard those words instead she received a bitter response that mercilessly ripped her heart out. "Do not think that just because I have kept you around for this long you're irreplaceable."

This time Y/N didn't suppress the tears, silently gliding down her cheeks when she walked out of Kaz's office and away from the Slat.

____________

Please turn on your magic beam, Mr. Sandman, bring me a dream.

A beautiful dream where she wasn't tied to a chair, broken ribs, and blood pouring from a large gauge in her stomach. The Dime Lions had captured her, knowing full well she was one of Kaz's most trusted allies, they decided to torture her until she spilled Brekker's secrets. But Y/N wasn't a traitor and even though Kaz had crushed her heart, she still loved him and would rather die than betray him.

Eyes barely open, black spots clouding her vision, she was fading away. Oh, how she wished that Kaz would come to save her, take her back to the Slat, tell her he was sorry and that he needed her by his side. But dreams were for children, Kaz wouldn't come because he simply did not care, because she was replaceable.

She wanted a dream, one where the punches thrown at her were tender glances. One where the sounds of bones breaking were quiet caring words she'd shared with Kaz once upon a time. Where the coppery taste of blood staining her tongue was the one of hot chocolate she and Kaz used to drink in his office.

Please, bring her a marvelous dream, back where things were good. A dream when Kaz still cared for her. One where he loved her.

Mr. Sandman, please bring me a dream.

@getawayfrommewerewolf, @princessleah129, @rika90, @lady1505

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone #kaz brekker angst #six of crows

174 notes · View notes

heytherejulietx · 4 years

Text

K. ~ Fred Weasley

Masterlists

Requests are CLOSED

Notes - Hi! So this is my own entry to my writing challenge. I found this song literally yesterday and after listening to the lyrics I had to use it. Originally I was going to use the song Dear True Love by Sleeping At Last but when I heard this I had to write it. So yeah, I hope you enjoy it as mich as I do! Please leave some nice feedback, I’m a slut for validation.

Warnings - A few hot moments, though no actual smut.

Word count - 4.2k.

Harry Potter tag list - @idont-knowrn @weasleysflowr @angelinathebook @msmimimerton @durmstrange @kashishwrites

Twins tag list - @whizbangs-78

If you’d like to be added to any tag list please just tell me!

I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back

We were sitting down in a restaurant waiting for the check

Fred couldn't really distinguish the line that was drawn between when he was friends with Y/N and when he first started liking her. They had been best friends since their first year at Hogwarts; himself, George, and her. They were inseparable. The three did everything together, and the only time they really were apart was when they had to head off into their separate dormitories for the night. As they got older, Fred started to view her as more of a friend. Though if someone was to ask him when he started feeling that way, he couldn't give an answer. Fondness turned into adoration, friendliness turned into flirtatiousness, and friendship turned into a crush. Though Fred never did anything about it throughout his schooling years. He thought she didn't like him in that way, and whilst being bound in the agonising friend-zone hurt him, he respected her decision and just wanted to get happy.

Though, there was still never a day where he looked at her and didn't think she was beautiful. There was never a day when he didn't want to gather her in his arms and never let go of her. There was never a day where he didn't want to pull her closer by the belt-loops on her trousers and kiss her until they were breathless. Sometimes George teased him about how whipped he was, though instead of getting offended he just agreed. He most definitely was whipped, but he loved it.

When the twins had left Hogwarts to start up their shop, Y/N had remained at the school to finish off her year and complete her exams. And whilst the twins - but mostly Fred - missed her horribly for those months - on the day after the summer she'd finished school before, she turned up at the door of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, asking for a job. And since that point on, it was like they were at school again. They were inseparable. And Fred was more in love with her than ever before.

Though he had never felt more in love with her than he did one early Sunday morning. The shop was closed for some maintenance that was being done, so whilst George was snoozing in his apartment, Fred and Y/N had gone out for breakfast at a muggle café in London. They had already eaten all of their food and were waiting for the check so that they could leave. In that moment Y/N was laughing at something that Fred had said, and he just looked over at her with such adoration and love, only one thought going through his mind.

"I bloody love this woman."

We had made love earlier that day with no strings attached

But I could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then

Fred could remember the night before that morning so clearly. He couldn't get it out of his head, the way she looked in his bed, clothes discarded over the bedroom floor and her hair splayed out over his pillow, whispering his name breathily as she pulled him impossibly closer. He would die a happy man if that was his last thought. She was just so beautiful, simply the thought of it made butterflies swirl in his stomach and a fond smile to sweep across his lips.

The night before hadn't been planned. At first she had just been coming over Fred's place for dinner as George was busy on his own date with Angelina, though the atmosphere between them was so different that night. Y/N kept shifting in her seat the whole dinner, and whenever they made eye contact, it was intense. Intense in a way that it had never been before. He couldn't remember what he had said to her, but after the dinner was over she flung herself at him mid-conversation and kissed him with a passion that he didn't realise she had.

"Please." She had whined through the kiss, both of them stumbling through the hallway towards Fred's bedroom. "Just tonight, Freddie. No strings attached."

And whilst the promise of no strings attached stung a little, the attraction and lust that had filled him in that moment was undeniable.

"Freddie?"

Fred looked back up and across the table at Y/N, pulling himself out of the love-driven trance that he had found himself in. When he met her gaze he pulled a half-smile onto his lips when looking at the beautiful woman in front of him, and seeing the way she was looking at him.

Oh.

She was looking at him the same way he looked at her multiple times a day. With such a fondness that his heart started racing in his chest and his palms became sweaty.

She liked him back.

Kristen, come right back

I've been waiting for you to slip back in bed

When you light the candle

Fred groaned as he rolled over in the bed and stretched his arm out for his lover, though felt nothing but pillows and the quilt, and not the beautiful girl who belonged there. He pat around the space another few times, just to make sure her frame really wasn't there, before pouting as he flipped over to lay on his back.

"Darling!" He groaned, and didn't miss the distinct giggle across the room from his lover. "Come back, I miss you too much. I can hear my heart breaking more and more with every moment that you're away."

"Stop being so dramatic, I'm just lighting a candle." She scoffed fondly, followed by the click of a lighter being lit.

"You left me to light a bloody candle?" Fred sat up and had to squint his eyes to see her in the dimly lit room. When he spotted her, stood on the other side of the room by their dresser with a now-lit candle, he couldn't help but smile despite the false annoyance he was trying to portray. She was stood there in just her underwear, her hair messy and a bit knotted, but to him she looked perfect. She caught his gaze across the room and sent him a wink, before shrugging her shoulders at his previously spoken statement.

"Hey, they smell nice. This is the one that reminds me of your mum's house." She explained with a soft smile as she put the lighter away in the top drawer of their dresser.

"Why? Because it's in an orange jar?" Fred joked with a small entertained smirk when he watched her roll her eyes.

"No." She giggled. "It smells like cinnamon, like her cooking whenever we go to visit them."

Fred watched as she approached the bed with the candle in her hand, and waited until she had put it down on their bedside table before he smirked and moved his arms around her waist, tugging her into the bed.

"Fred!" She squealed, laughing once he had rolled them so he was leaning over her, his legs bracketing hers as his hands moved down to her waist to start tickling her. She only laughed harder, the noise making him smile fondly as he kept running his fingers across her ribs, pushing away her hands that made a futile attempt at getting him to stop. He kept at it until he could see that she was running out of breath, despite still laughing loudly. In one fluid movement he caught each of her wrists in one of his hands and pinned them above her head against the pillow, his other hand resting on her hip, his thumb brushing along the waistband of her underwear.

"I hate you." She groaned, a slight giggle in her words at the ghosting of his tickles.

"No you dont." Fred smirked, looking down at her with a shit-eating grin. "You love me."

"Yeah, I guess I do." She sighed dramatically, just giggling when Fred had rolled his eyes at her dramatics.

"You guess?" Fred raised an eyebrow at her before lowering his head to her neck, leaving light kisses along the already marked skin. He felt her hands wiggle in his grip, though he kept her wrists pressed into the pillows.

"Mhm." She hummed, another quiet giggle leaving her lips.

Fred just smirked against her neck before tilting his head a little, leaving open-mouthed kisses at the base of her throat instead. He felt an especially smug feeling wash over him when he heard her breath catch in her throat once he'd lightly sucked on the exposed skin there, her hands wriggling again.

"Still guess so?" He asked smugly against her neck, being answered with a quiet whine instead of a sarcastic remark.

"Freddie." She whined, pulling against his hand. "Stop being such a tease."

Fred only chuckled, pulling back from her neck to lift his head and meet her lips with his instead, breathing in her exhale once she had sighed into his mouth. "Sorry, love." He muttered, releasing her wrists to rest his hands on her hips, feeling her's immediately find a place in his fiery locks. "Can't help myself."

And on the Lower East Side you're dancing with me now

And I'm taking pictures of you with flowers on the wall

One of her favourite things to do was dance. She danced all the time; when she was working, when she was cooking, when she was getting changed. She was always in such a good mood, it was astonishing to him that one person could hold so much happiness in them. Which was why it was so obvious to Fred when she was in a bad mood. She became very quiet, and almost drained.

Fred noticed this when he came home from work on one of the days she had off, and noticed her sat on the sofa with their cat Percy (Fred thought that naming their cat after his older brother was an absolutely hilarious idea, especially since Percy hated cats) still in her pyjamas, which was odd because even if she wasn't going anywhere she would still get dressed for the day.

She greeted him when he had come home, looking over at him as he took his shoes off with a small smile, and Fred could definitely tell that something was wrong when the smile didn't quite meet her eyes as it usually did.

"Hey, love." Fred said softly as he walked into the room, moving to crouch in front of her and gently took her hands. "Are you alright?"

Y/N sighed, shrugging as she looked down at their hands. "I had an argument with my mum this morning when she called. And we just never really argue a lot, so it kind of upset me a bit."

Fred frowned and let go of her hands to wrap his arms around her waist, standing with her so they could hug properly. "I'm sorry, darling." He said softly, leaving a kiss against her hairline as he held her tighter when feeling her grip on him tighten.

They kept stood like that for a while in silence, with Fred leaving kisses against whatever part of her he could reach as he gently rubbed her back, trying to offer whatever sort of comfort he could give her that would make her feel even just a little bit better. He noticed that as the minutes passed her grip on him subtly got looser and looser, until she was simply holding him normally.

After a few minutes Fred pulled away from the hug with a soft smile, and leaned down to her height so he could press a soft kiss against her lips, and couldn't help but feel a bit better when he felt her smile against his lips. When he'd pulled away she smiled at him softly and pressed a gentle kiss against his cheek, before returning to her spot on the sofa beside Percy, who was now asleep.

Though she still didn't look too happy, so after a moment of thought Fred smiled and moved across the room to their muggle CD player - an invention that she had introduced to him a few months back, and since then had loved it so much to be collecting muggle CDs of music that he liked. He found one of their favourite CDs to listen to together and put the disk in before he turned back towards Y/N as the music started floating across the room.

"Could you do me the honour of dancing with me, my love?" Fred bowed before her with one hand stretched out towards her, his words spoken in an over-the-top posh accent.

"Of course, my darling." She giggled, taking his hand and letting him pull her out of her seat to the middle of the room.

Fred's hands fell to rest on her waist as her arms loosely wrapped around his shoulders, the two of them swaying to the music together as they kept each other held close. Her head leaned to rest against his chest and she sighed softly, before Fred felt her relax against him. They danced for a while, long enough and peacefully enough for the rest of the world to blur away, and to just be left with the two of them there, the music a beautiful ambience in the background as the two swayed together lovingly.

"I love you, Freddie." She whispered softly, tilting her head to look at him with an expression that made him melt.

"I love you too, sweetheart." He leaned down to capture her soft lips with his own, a warm feeling bubbling in his stomach at the simplest touch from her.

Once he had pulled away, he removed one of his hands from her waist and reached to take one of her's instead, his smile growing as he gently spun her twice. Y/N giggled as she spun, falling back into Fred's chest with a light laugh as her hand gently squeezed his. Their dancing soon became almost silly, with her trying to spin Fred a few times - which was only successful when Fred helped her out by ducking since he was a considerable amount taller than her - and Fred dipping Y/N whenever a song ended. They ended up dancing for so long that before they knew it the album had ended. At the end of the song Fred dipped Y/N which caused her to giggle and smile at him - an expression that always made him fall in love with her all over again. Instead of letting her back up he leaned down with her to kiss her instead, smiling against her lips when she had wrapped both arms around his shoulders to pull herself closer and deepen the kiss.

By the evening, when the light outside was a beautiful orange glow that cast an amazing light through their windows, they were both in the bedroom, wrapped up in each other's embrace underneath the sheets.

"Freddie." Y/N whispered, only getting a hum from the man who had his face pressed against the soft skin of her neck, his arms wrapped around her gently. "I need to get up, I'm staying at my sister's to help with the baby."

Fred groaned, holding onto her tighter which made her giggle as she lightly slapped his shoulder. "Come on, please? I can't be late, you know what she's like."

Fred sighed heavily though despite his reluctance to let her go he unwound his arms from her waist and rolled over, pouting when she had turned to look at him, whereas she just giggled quietly at his expression before getting out of bed.

"I'll be back tomorrow afternoon, love. We've got that double date with George and Angelina, remember?"

Though Fred wasn't really listening to her, instead his attention was her moving around the room to get her underwear, his eyes never leaving her body as she put them on. He sat up when she'd walked past the wall parallel to the window which had flowers painted over it, holding a hand up, despite her still only in her underwear. "Hold still for a moment."

"Fred, I really need to-"

"No no no, it'll only take a moment." Fred searched the draw of his bedside table for a moment before he smiled as he pulled out what he had been looking for - a polaroid camera. It had been a gift from one of their muggle friends the previous christmas, and Fred had been obsessed with it since they had gotten it. He took every opportunity to take a photo of her, and that was a lot of the time.

"Fred, I look awful." She groaned.

"Awfully gorgeous, my love, now stand still for a moment, will you?" He asked, smiling when she had sighed though leaned against the wall and kept still. He raised the camera to his eye, a fond smile crossing his lips at the beauty he was met with - the orange glow of the evening light casting over her exposed skin, making her look like an angel. "Beautiful." He complimented once he had snapped the picture, watching as it was printed at the top of the camera.

"Thank you." She smiled almost bashfully. "Can I get dressed now, love?"

Think I like you best when you're dressed in black from head to toe

Think I like you best when you're just with me

And no one else

Fred always thought she was beautiful. The word ugly or unattractive just wasn't in his vocabulary whenever she was around. Every outfit looked good on her, every colour looked good on her - though his favourite colour on her had to be black. To Fred, it was the colour that made her features stand out the most. It made her eyes seem brighter than ever before. It made her hair shine and almost glow whenever it was under any sort of light. It made every beauty mark and freckle stand out. It made him fall in love with her even more, if that were possible.

Though Y/N didn't always see that, and for the life of him Fred couldn't understand why. She was so beautiful and he thought that it was so obvious, but to her it wasn't.

"Freddie?" She had asked him once from their bedroom, whilst he had been in the kitchen cooking dinner. "Can you come in here for a moment? I need to ask you something."

Fred frowned, noticing almost a hint of nervousness in her voice, though he was almost stunned when he walked into the bedroom and saw what she was wearing. She was dressed in a vintage style button-down black dress, that had a neckline that dipped down low enough so that he could see her collarbones and the top part of her chest, and was short enough so that he could see above her knees to her mid-thigh.

"Do you think this looks alright?" She asked, looking at herself in their bedroom mirror, turning to different angles as she frowned at herself critically. "I got it for that party we're going on but I'm not too sure about it."

Fred shook his head, moving over to stand behind her and moved his arms around her waist, tucking her head underneath his chin as he met her gaze in the mirror. "You look beautiful, darling." He said softly, gently squeezing her in his hold. "You could never look anything less than gorgeous, okay?"

He watched as she smiled bashfully and nodded her head, looking at herself in the mirror again as she leaned against him. "Thank you, Freddie."

"It's no problem, love." He smiled softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss against her neck as she closed her eyes and sighed in content.

Kristen, come right back

I've been waiting for you to slip back in bed

When you light the candle

Fred groaned as he collapsed back onto the bed, watching as Y/N moved across the room to light a few of the many candles she had collected over time. "You're not leaving me for those bloody candles again, are you?" He huffed, watching her, in nothing but her underwear, light the candles like he'd seen her do many times.

"Hey!" She whined, pouting as she turned to look down at him. "Candles are romantic. And they smell nice."

"I'm romantic and I smell nice, what's your point?" He asked with a small smirk, only getting a scoff in return. "Darling come back, I want you now." He groaned overdramatically, flopping back over the bed with a loud sigh.

"You have a left hand, don't you?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "Use it if you're that impatient." She giggled when turning and seeing his bewildered expression, as he had definitely not expected that sentence to leave her mouth so casually.

"Okay, that's it." Fred moved to get up and crossed the bedroom to be standing behind her, before he wound his arms around her waist and picked her up.

"Fred!" She giggled the complaint as he carried her across the bedroom towards the bed. "No wait, I didn't finish lighting the candles!"

He simply ignored her and gently tossed her onto the bed, which caused her to laugh a lot harder as he got onto the bed and situated himself over her.

"Oh yeah, that's terribly romantic, Freddie." She teased with another giggle as she pushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me, will you?"

And I'm kissing you lying in my room

Holding you until you fall asleep

Fred adored every single aspect of being with Y/N. He could spend the whole day in one of her hugs, or dancing with her, or even just talking with her. And maybe he was a little biased considering he loved her to the moon and back anyways, but everything about her just pulled him in deeper and deeper, like a siren leading a sailor into the deep dark waters. Though one of his favourite moments with her was probably when they shared lazy kisses, whether that was first thing in the morning or the last thing at night. If it was the latter, then that usually entailed after-sex kisses, which Fred adored as much as the sex itself. There was nothing better than soft and light kisses after deep and passionate ones had been shared.

Y/N sighed into Fred's mouth as he rolled them over so she was underneath him, peppering her flushed and sweaty skin with light kisses once he had pulled away, nothing in contrast to what he had previously been leaving against her skin.

"I love you." Fred whispered against her pink cheek, before tilting his head to capture her lips in a soft and gentle kiss, despite it's lightness, still managed to take Fred's breath away.

"I love you too." She smiled softly, and when Fred pulled away enough to look at her he could see her eyes were half closed, and he could see how tired she was.

In one careful movement Fred rolled off of her and curled his arm around her waist, pulling her smaller frame into his larger one so her back would be flush against his chest. He felt her body relax against his as he pulled the covers over the both of them, and tightened his arm around her waist subtly.

"Night Freddie." She whispered, her eyes closing when Fred had left a gentle kiss against her exposed shoulder.

"Goodnight, darling." He whispered, leaving another kiss against her skin before relaxing against the pillows, holding her until she fell asleep.

And it's just as good as I knew it would be

Stay with me I don't want you to leave

Fred often found himself staying up longer than Y/N, though he loved those moments he got to admire her beauty in it's rawest form. He thought she was absolutely stunning, inside and out, and really couldn't have asked for a better person to spend the rest of his life with. Of course, back in Hogwarts when he was crushing on her like crazy, he often imagined what it would be like to be with her intimately. He imagined late night walks by the lake, candlelit dinners, late nights up talking. He had thought at that moment in time that nothing could possibly be better than that. Though he was so so wrong, because the real thing was so much better. She was so much better than whatever version of her he had imagined. Sure, she was probably the best friend he could have asked for in Hogwarts, though her friendship was absolutely nothing compared to her love.

That was one of many reasons why in the bottom of Fred's bedside table was a small red velvet box in, with a small silver diamond ring in. He wanted her to be his forever and he wanted to be her's. He never wanted her to leave.

Kristen, come right back

I've been waiting for you to slip back in bed

When you light the candle

#Spotify #amber’s 300 followers writing challenge #Harry Potter #Harry Potter imagine #Harry Potter one shot #Harry Potter oneshot #Harry Potter fic #Harry Potter fluff #Fred Weasley #Fred Weasley imagine #Fred Weasley oneshot #Fred Weasley one shot #Fred Weasley fic #Fred Weasley fluff #Fred Weasley x reader #fred weasley x y/n #fred weasley x you #fred and george weasley

819 notes · View notes

xxkellsvixen19xx · 3 years

Text

Spotlight: A Life Of A Troubled Celebrity Heartthrob Chapter 6

Word Count: 4,766

"This way please," the usher led Colson and Y/N to their table. There were people already seated at the table and Y/N's eyes widened as she recognized some of them.

"Sorry we're late, we had a bit of a stalker situation," Colson announced to the table as he pulled out a chair for Y/N.

"Sweets these are my friends-friends this is my wife. Let's fine tune the details later shall we?" Colson said, as he took a seat next to Y/N.

"Hi," Y/N waved shyly at everyone.

"Dude-you cannot drop a bomb like that and-sorry Y/N I'm Dominic-and this is my heartbeat, Maya," Dom held out his hand and Y/N couldn't help but stare.

"Oh my gosh! Dominic Harrison!" she whimpered.

"That's what she said," Dom and Colson fist-bumped and high-fived each other, laughing. Dom's wife gave him the eye and he winked at her. Dom was topping the charts along with Colson. It was no wonder they were friends.

"Never mind these two delinquents," Maya said rolling her eyes, "I'm Maya and this here is Riley and Nathan her husband."

"Y/F/N Y/L/N," Y/N extended her hand.

"Point of correction sweets- you're now a Baker. I made it official," Colson raised her hand and kissed her wedding ring.

"Duly noted husband," Y/N smiled.

"Colson Baker you're so extra," Maya rolled her eyes again, "I'm going to the rest room, I need a break from all of you," Dom stood and kissed her before letting her go.

"I think I'll come with you, if you don't mind," Y/N said, as she followed behind.

"So how's married life so far?" Maya asked as they freshened up their already perfect make-up.

"Complicated," Y/N said.

"I know but it gets better. Promise," she squeezed Y/N's hand.

"A couple of months ago, I never expected any of this..I guess I will have to adjust with time," she voiced her concerns.

"I know..it took me a bit of time to adjust but Dominic was so patient with me. Just be patient with Colson, he may seem a bit difficult at times but he's a good guy deep down inside. It may be hard now but don't put too much pressure on yourself, just take it one day at a time okay?" Maya reassured her.

"Thank you," Y/N smiled, "I really needed to hear that."

"Do you want to exchange numbers? I might get busy but I can always call you back if you send me an app or something," Maya took her phone out of her bag, "what's your number?"

"You don't have to Maya, I know how busy you are and I wouldn't want to impose-" Y/N protested.

"Y/N, you're one of us now..Colson and Dom are like family..and I know how overwhelming it can be," Maya laid a hand on Y/N's shoulder, "I think you could use a friend who is in the same struggles, don't you think?"

"Yeah, you're right. Most of my friends a still in college and are as clueless as I am," Y/N punched her number into Amaya's phone and she did the same.

"Y/F/N Baker! Can I have my wife back please?" Dom called out from behind the door.

"Same goes for you Maya Eve-Harrison!" Colson voiced.

"You two are incorrigible!" Maya remarked as the door swung open.

"That's why you love me babe," Dom put his hand over her shoulder and kissed her cheek.

"What took you so long sweets?" Colson said as he put his hand around her waist.

"Maya was just telling me all your deep, dark secrets," Y/N teased and Colson laughed.

"If you wanted to know all you had to do was ask Bambi. But you would have to listen at your own risk and I would have to put a disclaimer on everything that I told you..plus divorce is not an option," he put a hand on her exposed back and electricity shot through her body, by just a simple touch.

"Colson, we still haven't had "the talk"," she stopped and looked up at him, "I still don't know what we are.."

"Are you hungry?" Colson asked.

"What's that-"

"Yes or no?" he persisted.

"Not really.." she furrowed her brow, wondering where he was going with this.

"Good. We can go and have that talk now. Come this way," he led her out into a dimly lit garden and they sat on a padded bench, in a secluded area.

"We don't have to do it now-I was just-" Y/N started. She had no words to say now that she was presented with the opportunity. she had gone over this conversation so many times in her head but now that Colson was sitting here, right in front of her, staring at her with those intense ocean-blue eyes and angelic face, she froze-mesmerized with how gorgeous he truly was.

"You know what they say Bambi; strike while it hot sweets," he took her hand and rubbed the back of her palm like he usually did. If only he knew how that affected her..her hear was beating against her rib-cage and she was sure he could hear it.

"Let me go first?" he suggested.

"No-let me..There's something I need to tell you first.." she pursed her lips into a thin line.

"You know that you can trust me right?" he tilted her chin up gently.

"Yes..that's why I need to tell you..that..I was once raped by my ex-boy-"

"Y/N stop..you don't have to re-live that whole thing again," Colson held her by the shoulders and saw tears glistening in her eyes.

"Let me..I want to.." she bit her bottom lip, "Don't interrupt okay?" Colson nodded quietly.

"We had been dating for about two years and it was on prom night. We had already agreed that we wouldn't have sex like everyone else had planned but we would wait until after college or whenever I felt I was ready," tears rolled down her cheeks as she narrated the horrible ordeal, "We went to an after party at one of his friend's house since the parents were away-and I only had a couple of drinks but I started to feel woozy and I asked him to take me home, but he carried me to a room upstairs and told me to lie down for a bit."

"Did he-" Colson clenched his fist and Y/N held a hand to his lips and continued. It was obvious that he had used the oldest trick in the book-the date **** drug

"He started to strip off my dress as soon as he locked the door-I tried to protest-to push him off to reason with him..but he was like man..possessed..he had a scary look on his face and it's like he couldn't hear what I was saying.." she gulped and Colson wiped the tears from her face, his heart breaking along with hers.

"I was powerless..he raped me..repeatedly..until I passed out," she shook as sobs racked her body. Colson pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. Never had he felt such intense pain for another human being-he felt like some one had ripped his heart out and beat in with a hammer until it was in shreds. He blinked back tears unsuccessfully, until he just allowed them to slide down his face, uninhibited.

Colson had never felt the need or instinct to protect anyone but that feeling invaded his mind, body and soul right now. He would find the bastard and make him rue the day he saw the light of day. Anyone who caused Y/N such unspeakable pain deserved nothing better than to pay for what he did. Colson soothed her the only way he knew how..he sang.

𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒂𝒍𝒍

𝑯𝒂𝒅 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑫𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒔, 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒏𝒕, 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑩𝒆𝒍 𝑨𝒊𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒏𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔, 𝒎𝒊𝒅-𝑱𝒖𝒍𝒚

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑰 𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒅

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒓𝒂𝒛𝒚 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒄𝒊𝒕𝒚 𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒔

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒎𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒍𝒅

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊��𝒖𝒍?

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

𝑰'𝒗𝒆 𝒔𝒆𝒆𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅, 𝒍𝒊𝒕 𝒊𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍𝒔 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝑯𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒂𝒚𝒔, 𝒓𝒐𝒄𝒌 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒍

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒅 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒚 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒎𝒆 𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘

𝑨𝒏𝒅 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘

𝒀𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒕𝒕𝒚 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

Y/N looked up at him and smiled through her tears. He wiped her tears and kissed her forehead. She seemed better.

"You're okay?" he asked as he pushed back the loose tendrils of her hair.

"Yes but you forgot to sing the best part of the song," she teased.

"Is that so Miss Lana Fanatic? I can't seem to remember that part though? But since you're clealy a fan maybe you can help me out" he held his chin and pretended to be deep in thought. They broke into laughter and started to sing the bridge together.

𝑫𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅, 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒗𝒆𝒏

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆, 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒃𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒚 𝒎𝒂𝒏

𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒔, 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕

𝒀𝒐𝒖'𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒆𝒕 𝒉𝒊𝒎 𝒊𝒏 𝑭𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓, 𝒕𝒆𝒍𝒍 𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒇

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆, 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚

𝑨𝒍𝒍 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒏𝒂 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒚

𝑯𝒆'𝒔 𝒎𝒚 𝒔𝒖𝒏, 𝒉𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒌𝒆𝒔 𝒎𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒂𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒅𝒔

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰 𝒈𝒐𝒕 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏' 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒔𝒐𝒖𝒍?

𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍, 𝑰 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒍𝒍

𝑾𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆 𝒎𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝑰'𝒎 𝒏𝒐 𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒃𝒆𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒖𝒍?

( Credit: Lana Del Rey -Young & Beautiful lyrics)

"You're perfect Y/N. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Let's get out of here," Colson said as he stood and pulled her up along with him.

*********************************************

It was the last week of the tour and the last stop was in Brussels. Those that had left during only left Ashleigh and Reggie. Y/N was disqualified from the competition since she was married to Colson. Sommer was obviously eliminated after a month but she stayed on as Slim's girlfriend. Slim was fired but was serving his notice until the end of the tour. He was hospitalized a couple of more times due to an OD but he still refused to go back to rehab.

Sommer was equally hooked but she had brief moments of sanity now and again. Colson had washed his hands of them both and was trying to get his life back on track. He had a few slip ups but they were less frequent.

"Yes Mom, I will be home after the weekend," Y/N said as she spoke to her Mom on Facetime.

"Which home?" Mrs Y/M/L/N asked with slight irritation.

"I-We haven't decided yet," Y/N frowned. She would have to speak to Colson about their living arrangements when they got back home.

"Hmmph..So does that mean you're not coming back to Cleveland? What about school? You're already two weeks behind," she reprimanded her daughter.

"I know-I will catch up okay?" Y/N sighed. She avoided calling her mother nowadays because it always ended badly. Mrs Y/M/L/N had altercations with her daughter every chance she got and it was beginning to take it's toll. When would her mother get over the fact that she was a grown woman and capable of making her own decisions? After all she was a married woman now wasn't she?

"Don't waste your life for-" Mrs Y/M/L/N began to lecture.

"Listen Mom, I've got to go. Love you bye." Y/N slammed her MacBook shut and sighed heavily as she massaged her temples.

"Everything okay Bambi?" Colson said as he climbed into bed with her. They were sleeping in the same bed ever since their heart to heart but hadn't been intimate yet. Colson didn't want to pressure her after confession. He promised Y/N he wouldn't take it to the next level unless and until she explicitly told him so, in her sober senses preferably.

Over the weeks she came close to telling him because it became more and more difficult for her to exercise restraint. Especially when he spooned her in nothing but his boxers, what was a girl to do? Maybe it was time for her to stop throwing subtle hits and just seduce him or come out and say it. He was her husband after all wasn't he?

"It's Mom but let's not talk about it okay?" she fluffed her pillow and faced him.

"I'm all in sweets," he said softly, "You know that right?" he stroked her cheek gently with the back of his hand.

"Yes, but-it's nice to hear you finally say it?" she couldn't help but smile.

"Did you ever doubt it? Did I ever give you a reason to-scratch that?" he shook his head and laughed, "Look I don't know how to relationship because I haven't-what I'm trying to say is you make me better. I'm willing to try to be a better man..for you," he pledged.

"Colson-I want to believe you but-I'm scared.." she revealed, her lips trembling.

"I know baby," he held her head against his chest and stroked her hair, "I'm scared too..I've never done this before and-I'm afraid to hurt you. I would rather die first than to break your heart again," he lamented.

"I don't know if I can trust you with my heart-and yet I still want to be with you," she confessed. Y/N had known this all along but she could no longer be in denial. She was in love with Colson Baker but she wasn't sure how he felt. She knew she was skirting on thin ice by putting her heart on the line, but the heart wants what it wants.

"I've tried to stay away from you-believe me I've tried..but it's like the harder I try the more I'm drawn to you. You keep pulling me in like a magnet.. I can't seem to get away from you no matter how hard I try," he turned to look at her, his blue eyes reflecting a stormy sea.

"Maybe we weren't meant to be?" she whispered, her voice breaking.

"Please don't say that?" he held her face, his eyes silently pleading with her.

"It doesn't have to be this hard," she sighed in defeat.

"Then we shouldn't make it hard," he implored, "let's take each day as it comes. I'm willing to try Y/N...and for me that's saying a lot."

It was after 2am and they had just got back from the airport but Colson felt like they needed to have this talk, sooner rather than later. He didn't want to drag her along blindly, she had a right to know where she stood. If he wasn't certain before he was certain now..he would give this relationship all he had.

"I know..but I don't want to put my heart out there and-"

"I will never hurt you intentionally-or let me put it this way; I apologize in advance and ask for your forgiveness in advance- for anything that I might do or say to hurt you. I'm still new at this so please be patient with me baby? Can you do that for me? For us?" he cajoled.

"Okay..let's give it a try," their eyes met and his lips tilted up involuntarily.

"Really sweets? You're sure? I'm not going to let you change you mind after this. I know I'm a bit intoxicated- but I will remember this." he laughed softly.

She seemed uncertain and he really didn't want to pressure her into anything but all he knew was that he wanted this girl in his life. He would do anything to keep her, even if it meant him making some drastic lifestyle changes. Maybe then she would be convinced about how serious he was about their relationship.

"Yeah. I'm sure," she nodded, smiling.

Although she wasn't certain of the consequences of her decision-and she knew there would be- she wanted to be with him. Against her better judgement she agreed to his terms and she hoped that he was as sincere as he looked.

"Thank you baby..you don't know how much this means to me," Colson heaved a sigh of relief.

"Just promise me that we will always be honest with each other-no matter how painful," Y/N swallowed hard, "Promise?"

"I promise," Colson replied with sincerity as he leaned forward and moulded his lips with hers.

*********************************************

"You need to get up and get ready Bambi," Colson called out from the bathroom, "I need you to accompany me somewhere in the next hour."

"Where are we going this time Baker?" she mumbled as she stumbled out of bed and shuffled into the bathroom.

"You'll see," he smiled and kissed her forehead; before walking out of the room.

"Ahhh," Y/N massaged her temples as she sat on the toilet seat, "My head..."she groaned loudly.

Her head was pounding and she felt like it didn't belong to her. She had become addicted to brufen and alcohol she admitted grudgingly to herself. They had another wild after party after Colson's concert. Tomorrow he was closing off his tour and they would be another party to seal the tour. Life with Colson was a constant party and the only way she could cope was alcohol and more alcohol, day after day, event after event, party after party, night after night.

"We will sleep it off sweets don't over think it. It's not like you have work or school tomorrow. Just let loose okay?" was Colson's mantra for her.

Colson was always the life of the party and always surrounded by people. Y/N had learned the names of some of them but she met new faces almost everyday and she couldn't keep up. A part of her missed home (minus her grouchy mother) and her friends..her real friends. She was kind of relieved to be heading back home on Sunday evening. This lifestyle was draining and it was turning her into something that she's not.

Y/N turned on the shower head and the warm water beat down her back soothingly. She turned around as she heard Colson open door.

"Your outfit is on the bed sweets. Please hurry we're running late," he said said and left quickly. He closed the door and leaned against it. This was harder than he thought and it was the longest he had gone without getting some. This celibacy thing was going to be the death of him.

"Deep breaths Colson," he mumbled to himself before dashing out again.

"Let's go Baker," Y/N tapped on his door and when he didn't respond she went into the room to search for him. She heard someone throwing up in the bathroom so she made her way there. Colson was kneeling over the toilet wrenching his guts out.

"Are you okay babe?" Y/N knelt beside him and rubbed his back. He nodded weakly before spilling his guts out once again. Y/N got a wet towel and wiped the sweat of his face and looked at him with concern. She got water in a glass and gave it to him to rinse him. He rinsed his mouth and collapsed back onto the floor.

"Rain-check?" He groaned as he leaned against the wall. His shirt was lying on the floor; his jeans unbuttoned, leaving his torso in full view. Y/N tried not to stare and concentrated on his pale face instead.

"Yeah-of course," she furrowed her brows, "are you okay?" she absently rubbed his jean-clad thigh.

"I'm-not sweets-I'm not," he shook his head. His face was flushed; beads of sweat were forming on his forehead again.

"Can I drive you to the hospital or something?"she crouched in front of him and pushed his hair back as she felt his temperature, "you're burning up babe!" she exclaimed as she stood up, picked up his shirt from the floor and gave it to him, "we're going to the hospital now-no arguments please,"she said firmly as she helped him put his shirt back on.

"Hmm, you're so sexy when you talk tough Bambi," he drawled.

"It's nice to see you still have your perverted sense of humor," she commented dryly, "Can you get up or should I get Jax?"

"I gave him the day off sweets. It's just you and me today," he scrunched his face and pushed himself up against the wall and staggered out of the room, with Y/N's help.

"Which car are we taking?" Y/N asked as she scanned the car keys lined on the garage wall.

"Ferrari would be fitting for this I guess. The sooner we get there the better-." he winced, his breathing unsteady.

"You're going to let me drive your Ferrari??" Y/N was shocked to say the least.

"It's no biggy sweets. You're my wife aren't you? What's mine is yours," he kissed her softly and smiled.

"Is that so Baker?" Y/N tried not to blush.

"Sure thing babe," he winked at her.

Y/N opened the car door and helped him slip inside. She adjusted the seat so he could lie back and strapped his seat belt. She jumped into the car and smiled at Baker as she drove out of the garage. He winked at her again, squeezing her hand before lying back on his seat. She couldn't believe that she was driving a Ferrari-and not just any Ferrari-it was Colson Baker's prized possession.

"You okay..?" Y/N glanced over at him briefly.

"Yeah.." Colson said with his eyes still closed, his teeth chattering.

"According to the GPS we're almost there," she glanced at him, trying not to panic.

"I trust you baby. Do what you need to do okay?" Colson's body began to tremble slightly as Y/N swerved the car in front of the hospital's entrance, "Can you walk or should I get a nurse to bring a stretcher or wheelchair?" she unbuckled her seat belt and went over to his side.

"No..I think I can manage..just help me out," he stepped out of the car and put his arm around Y/N's shoulder. Fortunately, the hospital wasn't so busy so they were assisted quickly. The nurse led them into the private ward and helped place him on the bed.

"Dr Lander will be here shortly," she announced before leaving.

Y/N sank into a chair by his bedside and took his hand. He seemed to have gotten worse, his face was pale and he was sweating profusely. At least he was in a place where he could get help, she thought to herself.

"Good evening, I am Dr Lander. What can we do for the famous Colson Baker?" the doctor asked as he stepped forward and began to examine Colson, "you must be..his girlfriend?" He looked like he had just graduated from med school and was part of Colson's band.

"I'm his-" Y/N began.

"She's my wife Doctor, so she's off limits," Colson threatened.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, let's get down to why you're here," Dr Lander laughed and put a thermometer under Colson's arm.

"I feel lousy," Colson mumbled.

"Care to elaborate on that Mr Baker?"

"Sweets, can you?" he asked, breathless.

"He was throwing up and is feverish. So I brought him here," Y/N advised, "That's all I got- sorry Doc," she shrugged.

"I think that should suffice," Dr Lander pursed his lips as he began to type on his iPad, "I think it's either food or alcohol poisoning. Have you been drinking a lot?"

"Yeah..we have..," Y/N said, guilt written all over her face.

"I figured," he muttered, "You're on tour right?" Dr Lander asked.

"Yeah," Colson replied, "No lectures please okay Doc?"

"Got it," he nodded, "How about a prescription and a recommendation for a thorough detox?" Dr Lander suggested.

"I think I can work with that Doc," Colson answered.

"Great, let me get you on a drip and get a nurse to prepare the rest of your meds. Sounds good?" he started to set up the drip while he talked.

"Music to my ears Doc," Colson replied.

"Just one last request..you don't happen to have any concert tickets lying around do you? I tried to get but they were sold out on the first day they went on sale," he sighed.

"I can do you a real solid and get you two VIP tickets," Colson grinned at the doctor.

"Really??" Dr Lander gushed, "My girlfriend is going to be so..Wow! Thanks a lot man!" Dr Lander couldn't stop smiling, "let me get your other meds. I'll be right back so we can discuss the concert further."

"Babe- not to be a party-pooper but do you think you will be well enough to perform tomorrow night?" Y/N asked with concern

"I'll be okay sweets. I feel better already actually," Colson took her hand and brushed his fingers over it like he liked to do. She almost lost her trail of thought but she fought to focus on what they were talking about.

"If you're sure," she replied with uncertainty.

"Hey, I'll be okay. Don't worry you pretty little head," he lifted her hand to his lips, "Thanks for caring Bambi," he winked at her.

"Right, I think I've got everything," Dr Lander burst into the room after some time, "I think you can go home with your beautiful wife."

"She's is a beauty isn't she Doc? And she doesn't even know it," Y/N blushed as Colson looked at her pointedly. He sat up as the doctor removed the drip.

"Well at least she has you to remind her constantly and to sing about it too," Dr Lander smiled.

"Thanks for everything Doc. My driver will drop off your tickets tomorrow morning," Colson said as they walked out of the hospital.

"Thanks Colson. I really appreciate it man. I am such a huge fan! My girlfriend too.. You have no idea what this means to me," Dr Lander beamed, "Nice wheels! Wow!" he walked round the car, trailing his fingers on the body.

"If you're not too busy you can join us for the after party at the hotel. We're staying at the Hilton," Colson offered before he jumped into the car.

"I'm so there man! Can I bring my girlfriend along?"

"Of course. I'm going to string mine along as always," Colson smiled at Y/N.

"Great! See you tomorrow then," Dr Lander waved at them as they drove off.

"Are you feeling any better?" Y/N asked Colson, her eyes fixed on the road.

"Yeah, thanks for being here for me sweets. I appreciate it," he squeezed her hand.

"That's what wives are for," she winked at him and turned on the radio.

"Welcome back to 93.3 ALT FM! It's your girl Brinna! Rumor has it that America's hottest heart-throb has been snatched off the market. It's a sad day for the female species-me included... Anyway here's his latest offering simply entitled "She's Got Me"; indeed she has got you on lockdown Colson!"

Tagged: @kellysimagines

#machine gun kelly #mgk #colson baker #fan fiction #machine gun kelly x reader #machine gun kelly imagine #colson baker imagine #colson baker x reader

39 notes · View notes

heartbrokenct · 4 years

Text

payphone

pairing johnny suh x reader

genre fluff omg all the softness

word count 1.4k

warnings none! <3

summary after a particularly late night movie marathon with some friends, you find yourself in the arms of none other than johnny. days later, you get a call from an unknown number, and answer. but the person on the other end isn’t a toll call.

a/n uhhh- yes, i recently listened to payphone by maroon 5. yes, this is half inspired by that song. enjoy ;)

“Hey, be quiet, this is sad!” you chastised him, and he let out a silent laugh, leaning in to rest against you. You gave him a look, but your heart beat loudly in your chest, and you swore he was so close he’d hear it. You had been invited to a huge movie marathon with Johnny, his crazy friends, and their respective partners. You’d been sitting watching movies in the dark apartment since 6pm, and the last time you checked your phone before Titanic started, it had become 10pm. You sighed, and as the movie progressed, and the scenes became sadder near the end you found yourself subconsciously getting comfortable against Johnny. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, and for a while you both sat there watching the movie in a comfortable silence, while everyone around you seemed to be whispering or laughing quietly.

“Jaaack! Come back…” Rose’s feeble voice came from the television, and you felt a couple tears prick your eyes. Someone next to you stifled a laugh, and you looked over, elbowing Johnny in the ribs.

“Uh oh, Johnny’s spreading his cooties everywhere,” Haechan whispered rather loudly from the couch, and everyone let out a laugh. Johnny huffed, and moved away, taking both his arm and your only source of warmth with him. You smiled awkwardly, and sat up, turning to Haechan,

“You’re just jealous because other than Johnny you're the only single kid here.” You said, and everyone laughed harder, while he sat there and pouted. When the group had told you that he could seriously dish it but not take it, they were right, and you sat there with a grin on your face before reaching over and pinching his cheek.

While everyone stood and stretched a bit, you turned to talk to Johnny, but he’d disappeared somewhere. Sighing, you took out your phone and saw a few unread messages from your group chat with some friends.

Ahn : “Lol, she’s probably all over him right now.

Jihye : “Ahn! She’d never do that, she’s too chicken. She’d just look at him with that gross look in her eyes.”

Ahn : “Ugh, love.”

Jihye : “You and me both.”

You rolled your eyes, and began typing a few strongly worded responses to the pair, who’d been secretly pining after each other for years. If anyone had that “gross look in their eyes” it was those two for each other but they were so proud the both of them, they’d never admit it. You saw Johnny coming back, and quickly put away your phone, and sent him a smile. He returned it and sat down next to you, his arm brushing your sleeve.

“Listen, I’m sorry about that kid. He just has no filter…” He said, sheepishly. You laughed, and his heart leaped in his chest. He had run to the bathroom to avoid any awkward conversations, especially in front of the rest of his friends, and had totally missed your sarcastic comment that put Haechan in his place.

“Oh don’t you worry about me, I can hold my own, especially against Haechan,” you said with a laugh, and he watched you intently, the melodic sound making his heart melt. Everyone suddenly started talking and it got quiet between you and Johnny, so you turned to the empty bowl in front of you.

You both reached for it at the same moment, and laughed.

“I got it-” you both said, again in the same moment and you paused.

“How about we both get some and we can refill some of the other bowls?” He suggested and you nodded. He stood, then offered his hand and you took it, standing up and stretching out your arms. The hem on your shirt rose slightly, and Johnny’s eyes flitted to the exposed skin as he reached down to grab the popcorn bowl. His face turned red and he quickly strode over to the kitchen while you gathered a few more bowls to fill.

You walked into the kitchen, and suddenly the living room became quiet. You peeked your head back out, and everyone suddenly jumped, looking away from the kitchen to do various tasks, like find a new movie, or pick at their hands, and you smirked, shaking your head slightly. Johnny had been trying to control his breathing, and you shuffled past him as he shakily poured some popcorn into your shared bowl.

“Ugh hurry grandpa, you’re too slow” you said and laughed, snatching the bowl and shoving another one under the popcorn maker. He stood and looked at you with a fake expression of hurt, before quickly catching you, attacking your side with tickles. You shrieked, and tried to run, but couldn't, and instead pleaded with him to stop between laughs and shouts. He laughed along with you and finally stopped when a kernel of popcorn flew and hit him in the forehead. Holding your arm to your sides protectively, you filled the rest of the bowls, and took them back just as the next movie was starting, and made sure to place yourself expertly into Johnny’s comfortable side.

You assumed he was just getting busy with his schedules, and tried to find something to watch that you hadn’t already seen at the movie night. Just as you settle in to watch a new Netflix comedy, your phone rings. It’s not a number you have saved, so you let it ring assuming its just spam. 5 minutes into the movie, your phone rings again, and you notice it's the same number.

A few days later, you’d been texting Johnny with no reply. It wasn’t like him to not respond to your texts, so you messaged Jaehyun and asked what was up. Apparently Johnny had left his phone at the apartment and didn’t have it with him. He seemed to be forgetting a lot of things recently. Like just the other day he conveniently stood you up for your weekly coffee date, and blamed it on his busy schedule, whereas before he would push aside everything to be with you.

Truthfully, things between the two of you had been kind of awkward after the movie night. There seemed to be some unspoken agreement that something had changed but you were too scared to ask, and he never brought it up, so you assumed it was just your imagination. He stopped answering your texts as often and “forgot his phone” at his apartment conveniently.

“Hm, persistent…” You say, as you hang up the call again and try to focus. When your phone rings the same time from the same number you angrily answer, “No, I won’t buy whatever you’re advertising please stop calling this number!” You say, and just before you hang up you hear a familiar voice.

“Wait, Y/n it’s me! It’s Johnny!”

Johnny? You raise the phone back to your ear, and listen.

“John? Whose number is this?” You ask, and you can hear him breathing on the other end.

“I’m at a payphone… Was trying to call you- I thought you weren’t going to answer and I only have one quarter left so I’m glad you picked up… Just listen okay?” He pauses again, and you can tell by his voice that something is off, but you let him continue anyway.

“Y/n, these past few days I can't get you out of my brain. You occupy every single corner of my mind, and all I see when I close my eyes is your beautiful face. I love your smile, and your laugh, and the way your eyes light up when someone makes a joke. The way you speak and the passion in your voice when you talk about what drives you… all of it makes me realize that I can’t be without you.” He finished, and you gasped. So the looks, the jokes, everyone pushing the both of you to get together… that wasn’t in your imagination; it was real, and your best friend just admitted his long term feelings for you.

“John… Johnny I- I’m just in shock can you give me a minute I-” You say, rather breathlessly, and both of you let out small soft laughs. After trying to calm yourself, so your voice doesn't come out sounding wonky, you smiled as you answered,

“I think maybe you should come over as soon as you’re finished. Because I think I love you too and I’d really like to talk face to face about it.. You know?”

“It’s a date. I’ll be there. I can’t believe I just confessed to you over a payphone… It cost me seventy five cents!” He said jokingly, and you laughed at his antics.

“Well, I sure hope that it’s worth more than seventy five cents,” you mumble, but he still catches it.

“I’d pay for the whole universe if that’s what it took.” He said, and you shook your head at the flattery, unable to stop yet another smile blooming on your face.

#nct #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct 127 #johnny #johnny suh #nct johnny #johnny imagines #johnny suh imagines #johnny suh x reader #nct x y/n #nct au #johnny suh drabbles

109 notes · View notes

gaylorlyrics · 4 years

Text

Folklore Songs - what are they about??

This is a developing thread, but I’ve been listening all day so I’m taking a stab at it.

1."The 1"

Common consensus is that this is about Dianna Agron and what they could have been. Telling lyrics are the general idea that the relationship wasn’t truly given a chance (”it would've been sweet, If it could've been me”) and “Roaring Twenties”, referring to the below circus themed party pics with Diana dressed like a flapper

tbh im not totally sold on this - most because it seems more recent with lyrics like, “In my defense, I have none for never leaving well enough alone” sounds like a reference to ME! and “Roaring twenties” sounds like a reference to something that happened this year (2020). Also “throwing pennies in the pool” could be a reference to throwing Penni (Karlie’s agent) in the pool. Finally, Route 1 is the road along California’s coast, where Tay & Karlie drove on their legendary road trip...this makes my lil Kaylor heart worry.

2. Cardigan

This is the first installment in the Teenage Trio, which also includes August and Betty, and is told from the perspective of Betty. It’s about feeling so loved by someone but then being betrayed by them (”Chase two girls [Betty + August’s narrator] lose one”). The line ”And you'd be standin' in my front porch light” foreshadows to James professing love in “Betty”. Potentially Taylor is Betty - but I’m still thinking about that theory.

3."The Last Great American Dynasty"

We <3 a Rhode Island throwback. Here Taylor tells the story of her house in Rhode Island that Rebekah “Betty” (??!?!??!! more on that later) Harkness used to live in. Rebekah married an heir to Standard Oil which made her one of the wealthiest women in the USA at the time. She was also known for making a scene (”She had a marvelous time ruining everything”). Additionally, she founded the Harkness Ballet (”And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet”). After Rebekah’s death Taylor purchased the house and it is now best known as the place of many epic 4th of July parties.

4. Exile

Such a sad song! This is a duet between Taylor and Bon Iver, telling the story of a failed relationship that they have tried to mend many many times. Interestingly, this is also about a love triangle (like the teenage trio) - "I can see you starin' honey/Like he's just your understudy." This line specifically feels like it could be about bearding, and seeing someone else with the person you love, but feeling like - or knowing - it’s fake. “You were my town Now I'm in exile seein' you out” references and end to the relationship Taylor discussed in False God “Staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town I'm New York City”. To me this indicates that it is about Karlie and them breaking up or going through a rough patch - continually trying to fix things - and eventually being unsure that it could ever be repaired.

5."My Tears Ricochet"

This is pretty clearly about Scott & Scooter - “And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed” and “You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same” seem to be a reference to them trying to exploit her work and how her leaving Big Machine really ruined the business - plus there’s some LWYMMD imagery. “You wear the same jewels that I gave you as you bury me” also seems to be a clear reference for trying to use Taylor’s own work against her, taking the profits, and pushing her out of the deal. As if we needed more evidence “You hear my stolen lullabies” clearly references her stolen masters.

6."Mirrorball"

Big 80s prom vibes from this song. Mirrorball is about being famous and all of her work - her most personal thoughts and dreams - just becoming different ways for other people to see themselves once she releases her music into the world. Part of being an artist is knowing that your work will reflect more of who the viewer is than who you are yourself. Here she uses the metaphor of a disco ball to explore that idea, and worries that she is losing her own identity through it “I'm still trying everything to keep you looking at me”. She also alludes to her fears that she will age out of relevancy “I know they said the end is near”, something she discussed in her documentary Miss Americana. Obviously this is internalized misogyny because we love Taylor and will listen to her music always and do not subscribe to the belief that women need to be young to be relevant because if they were a man then they'd be the man, and tay’s the man <3

7. “Seven”

Personally, this is one of my favorite songs on the album. It’s so sweet and pure and lovely. This is about young love, with imagery of summer, toys, and child’s dreams to runaway together. Many people have speculated that it is about the same girl that the two unreleased Taylor songs “Sweet Tea and Gods Graces” and “Me & Britney” are about.

[Side note: initially I wondered if Me & Britney was about Britany Maack, Taylor’s long time friend who recently got married, but the names are spelled differently. Also the line in Seven “I can’t recall your face” indicates that this is about someone who Taylor is not currently in touch with.]

Both M&B and STAAG seem to be about the Seven relationship because there are general parallels with outdoor scenery, childlike wonder, and ( in the case of STAGG) sweet tea. Also all three songs indicate a gay relationship: STAGG - “And you can love like a sinner and lose like a winner”, M&B - “That boy she went ran off with, well, I thought he was crazy. Maybe I was just jealous that he'd come between me and Britney”, and Seven - “You won't have to cry or hide in the closet And just like a folk song our love will be passed on”.

8. “August”

This is the second installment in the Teenage Trio, told from the perspective of the “other woman” who James meets while on summer vacation. The other woman (she doesn’t seem to have a name...unless it is August...which it could be? idk) is in love, but realizes that James isn’t in love with her - “Will you call when you're back at school? I remember thinkin' I had you”. The line “Remember when I pulled up and said "Get in the car" references the same incident which is retold in Betty, but this time with James telling Betty it was just a summer fling that didn’t mean anything.

9. This Is Me Trying

Here we have a break up song, about Taylor trying to win her lover back and feeling completely lost without them, unable to concentrate or be around people, and turning to self sabotage. It’s about the general loneliness that one feels when they’ve lost someone they truly love, and the miscommunication that can happen in a relationship when you’re not understanding each other or receiving love in the same way (hence the song’s title). I think this could be about Karlie, it seems clear that their relationship has not been smooth and that they have had many on-and-off times. It could also be serving a purpose of building the Joe break up narrative, but only time will tell for that.

10. “Illicit Affairs”

Taylor loves her secret love - this song reads like a sad version of “I Know Places”. It seems clear that this is about Karlie Kloss. “Tell your friends you're out for a run” is one of my favorite lines because Karlie started Klossy run club, where you commit to running a certain distance in a month - and she posts about it on instagram CONSTANTLY. But overall, the song details a relationship of a woman being with someone she doesn’t love (kushnerd) and sneaking around to meet up with the person she does love (tay!). The line “Tell yourself you can always stop” is so sad to me, the idea that Karlie got into this and keeps telling herself that it will only be a little longer and she can leave when she wants, but staying in her fake marriage anyway.

11. Invisible String

This is pretty much the only pure love song on the album - about feeling connected to someone throughout your whole life, knowing that that somebody is out there, and then finally finding them. Taylor talks about being in Centennial Park in Nashville as a teen, and then eventually showing her lover around. The song is really self referential, with lots of easter eggs for her past work, including Bad Blood and Delicate. She also references Joe Jonas with the line “Cold was the steel of my axe to grind For the boys who broke my heart Now I send their babies presents”.

Some people have pointed out that there is a similar idea presented in Jane Eyre - when the protagonist says to her love interest “I have a strange feeling with regard to you. As if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly knotted to a similar string in you."

12."Mad Woman"

Another Scooter one - “It's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together”. “The master of spin” is word play referencing the masters records scandal. “Watching you climb over people like me” points out that agents and labels are making money off the performers they find and pushing them around. There’s also a reference to Scooter’s wife Yael and how he cheats all the time, but she doesn’t do anything likely because of her own internalized misogyny - “has a couple side flings. Good wives always know. She should be mad, should be scathing like me”.

13. “Epiphany”

The first verse of this touching ballad is about Taylor’s grandfather in WW2, storming the beaches at Normandy - “Crawling up the beaches now "Sir, I think he's bleeding out"”. The second verse is about a nurse helping patients with Covid-19 - “Holds your hand through plastic now "Doc, I think she's crashing out"”. The bridge here talks about wishing there was some great epiphany, some magical solution for the suffering in the world. The chorus refers to experiencing trauma with others and staying loyal even in the hardest times, even if it means literally dying. Although this seems like a departure from the themes of rest of the album, the whole album examines loyalty and considering what you would do for the people you love - so I really don’t think it’s a departure at all.

14. “Betty”

Obviously this is the gayest song on the album and an early fan favorite. It is the final song in the teenage trio, told from the point of view of James, going to win Betty back after betraying her and sleeping with someone else (August!?) over the summer. The line "Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends?”, a line that is very clearly about wanting to kiss a woman, is especially striking (& gay!) when sung by Taylor. The clearest version of this plot is someone begging for forgiveness after betraying the person they love.

There is also a bit of a nod to a line in “Picture to Burn”, a break up song off Taylor’s first album. In PTB Taylor says “So go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy that's fine, I’ll tell mine you’re gay”. This lyric has since been changed in versions available online, but on the original album that's what it was. This is interesting because she’s calling attention to knowing that someone is gay and hasn’t told their friends...which you would definitely know if you had dated them.

The names “James” and “Inez” are both mentioned in the song, which are the names of Blake Lively and Ryan Reynold’s daughters. James was already featured on a Taylor Swift album, as the lil baby voice at the beginning of “Gorgeous”. Worth noting that “James” is traditional a male name, but that this character is named after a female.

ALSO I have this theory I’m working on that Taylor is Betty and this whole album is in the same world with the same people, but WILL POST MORE ON THIS LATER.

15."Peace"

Ok - this is Archer 2.0 for me, about how she is worried about how no one will ever love her or stay with her because its too much work - “the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me” and “No, I could never give you peace” are pretty telling lines about her concerns that people will think it is not worth it to be friends with or in a relationship with her due to all of the baggage that comes with it.

The opening lines - “Our coming-of-age has come and gone Suddenly this summer, it's clear” feed into my emerging theory that all of these songs exist in the same universe and are about the same three characters...but I’m still figuring that one out. The line “And you know that I'd swing with you for the fences Sit with you in the trenches” reference Seven and Epiphany, respectively - further supporting that all of these songs are in the same world.

16. “Hoax”

Out of all of the songs that make my little Kaylor heart ache - this is the most heartbreaking. Specifically the line “My eclipsed sun” refers to Karlie, who Taylor has called “sunshine” on multiple occasions, and her light being covered up by her contract with Kushnerd and Scooter. The line “Don't want no other shade of blue But you” makes it clear that this song is in reference to the muse for the album “Lover” - aka Karlie.

However, this is a song about betrayal and completely trusting someone, only to find that they stabbed you in the back, as is clear by the line ”Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in”.

Additionally, the line“You knew it still hurts underneath my scars” seems to again feed into the idea that all of the songs on the album involve the same characters. This one is a bit more clear, it seems that - if this theory is correct - Betty is the narrator of this song, as she referenced her scars before “Drew stars around my scars” in Cardigan.

OK- I'm going to go deep into song by song later, but I just wanted to get something out there!!! Also def interested in hearing what everyone else thinks!

EDIT: I just found some lyrics from The Lakes in an article from Billboard. I wanted to add them in even though we don’t have the full song because I felt like we really ended on a sad note with hoax and then when I saw these I was like there is hope!!

SO the lyric Billboard included in their review was “A red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground / With no one around to tweet it” which is a continuation from the line from “Hoax” - “ This has frozen my ground”. What I’m taking from this is that in the final song Taylor finds hope <3

#folklore #kaylor #Taylor swift #Karlie kloss #betty

165 notes · View notes

johannas-motivational-insults · 4 years

Note

While you're talking HM, what about what was going on in the director corner during the pushup contest?

Oh, this is a fun one. (Commentary is bolded.)

So this scene was not planned, not really. I was on the bit where Catra is comforting Adora over something she doesn’t understand (Adora’s hurt feelings thinking that Catra is hung on on Scorpia, if that wasn’t clear from Adora’s side of things in previous chapters) and I, like Catra, was trying to think of a way to move on from that. I needed to cap the chapter and bring the mood up a little and Catra didn’t want Adora to to be sad anymore. So uh, yeah, this happened.

“I’m going to hug you now, okay?” announces Catra. Asking Adora if she wants a hug generally just causes her more distress, gives her one more thing to think about when she’s already overloaded. Adora gives a jerky nod and Catra steps in, wrapping her arms securely around Adora’s torso and pinning her arms to her ribs. Adora’s still standing stiff in her grip, though. “Tighter?”

Admittedly I kind of stole the “tighter?” thing from a scene in season 2 of Atypical. Not on purpose, but that scene lives rent free in my head so I can’t claim I would have come up with it on my own. As an autistic and a snarky wlw jock that show makes me feel seen.

“Yeah,” whispers Adora. When Catra obeys, the tension finally leaves Adora’s body, her chin relaxing onto Catra’s shoulder with a sigh. Moving entirely on instinct, Catra tips her head to rub her cheek against Adora’s. Her hands are kind of occupied, after all, locked tightly around her own biceps to maintain the pressure. Adora responds by nuzzling into Catra’s shoulder, but her throat bobs again against Catra’s collarbone. Clearly this isn’t enough, so Catra wracks her brain for another strategy. Anything to cheer Adora up, get her mind off whatever’s bothering her.

I just love opportunites for Catra to act vaguely catlike in human form. I try not to throw them in just for comedic effect in a way that’s distracting, but I liked this one.

“Hey, wanna have a push up contest?” is what she comes up with.

Adora snorts into her neck and Catra smiles. Shrugging off Catra’s arms, Adora steps back and sizes her up, eyes gleaming competitively in that way Catra loves. “Oh, you’re gonna regret that, Diaz.”

Adora, you are so very predictable.

She really should know better than to say something like that, knowing Catra’s abilities. Oh well, that’s just more motivation to kick her ass.

With this many jocks in one room, it turns into quite the event. Rogelio makes Entrapta pause the game so he can partake, and Entrapta gleefully accepts the role of referee. At Adora’s request, she changes the music to something with a strong beat, and the competitors shake their arms out and begin to take their positions on the floor.

I miss hanging out with jocks. One brain cell, all competitive energy.

Catra’s getting in the zone, the music narrowing her focus, but when the lyrics start and she recognizes the voice she almost chokes on her laughter. “Is this Nickelback?”

“It’s one of Scorpia’s favorite workout songs!” Entrapta says in her own defense.

Scorpia gasps, one hand flying to her chest as everyone shares a laugh at her expense. “Et tu, Entrapta?”

S.E.X. is a great workout song and no I do not take criticism. Tbh I threw this in because music was already such a big theme in this chapter that I wanted to continue with having a soundtrack, and because I have fond memories of this song playing in the locker room while my hockey team was getting dressed and pumped up for games.

In total there’s eleven of them on the floor when Entrapta says go, including Lonnie and Scorpia. But Catra’s not worried. This is just one more arena where people underestimate her. She’s lean, and yeah she definitely can’t bench as much as Scorpia or even Adora, but she’s strong for her size. She was a gymnast for fuck’s sake, bodyweight exercises are her jam.

This may be a little bit of a flip off to people who underestimate Catra’s strength and/or act like she would want to watch Adora work out but lie around lazily herself. Catra is compact but ripped, and she would absolutely ogle Adora but she’s also a competitive little motherfucker. Then again this whole fic started as a flip off to the football player Adora/cheerleader Catra trope so this is very on brand for me.

As Catra expected, the meatier types drop off quickly. Scorp and Hel and the other linemen are used to pushing hard, of course, but never for long. They can’t keep the beat past twenty push ups, but Catra’s just getting started.

It comes down to her and Adora, as always. Catra thrives off of competition and loves beating Adora in particular, but sometimes she thinks having a nemesis other than Adora would be nice. It gets a little confusing. (Oh Catra, I feel you. Being in constant competition with your crush and that making it even harder to know how to feel about her is a lesbian MOOD.) The lyrics aren’t exactly helping with that, either.

‘I'm lovin’ what you wanna wear’ ‘Wonder what's up under there’ ‘Wonder if I'll ever have it under my tongue’

Catra exhales hard with every push, trying to ignore Adora’s breathy grunts to her left. Sweat rolls down her brow and drips off her nose as her face heats up, and she’s glad she has the contest to blame for it. The rest of the room hollers and cheers but Catra barely hears any of it. It’s just her and Adora, locked in a battle of wills.

Jesus Christ is it getting hot in here? (Also yes this might be a slight nod to how they’re both tops and this is what makes their relationship great.)

‘S is for the simple need’ ‘E is for the ecstasy’ ‘X is just to mark the spot ‘cause that’s the one you really want’

Yeah can you blame me for picking this song? ‘Cause tbh...

Adora keeps up longer than Catra expected, powered by pure competitive lesbian energy. Catra almost starts to worry she ran her big mouth and is about to have her ass handed to her, but soon after they hit the 50 mark Adora’s arms start to wobble, her breaths coming hard.

“Come on, Adora!” shouts Lonnie. “Don’t give up now!”

Of course Lonnie’s on her side. That just makes Catra grit her teeth and push through the burn with a breathless growl.

“Keep it up, Wildcat!” counters Scorpia. “Just a little more, she’s fading!”

I love Scorpia and Lonnie butting heads over Catra because Lonnie is that mean friend and Scorpia is Scorpia. It’s gonna happen again in chapter 8. ;)

Catra keeps pounding away and Adora finally falters, her jelly arms failing to match the beat in time.

Oh that... that was not meant to sound as sexual as it did. But I will absolutely not take that back.

“Adora, you’re out!” calls Entrapta. “That’s it!” Still, Adora doggedly fights through to the top of her final push up before collapsing in a heap. Grinning down at the floor, Catra keeps going. Might as well drive the point home. “Catra, you can stop now!”

A broken and beautiful laugh sounds beside Catra’s ear, a blunt fingernail poking into her shoulder as she works. “Show off.”

Adora is absolutely just taking an opportunity here to touch Catra while watching her work out. It goes both ways.

But Catra’s not just showing off. She has a goal. When Entrapta finally hits 69, she drops to the hardwood with a heavy gasp. Raising one hand, she pinches the tips of her thumb and forefinger together and pants, “Nice.”

That is so very Catra.

That gets a laugh out of the crowd, including Adora. One of her hands touches Catra’s back and Catra turns her head to find her smiling. Genuinely, this time. It’s the most beautiful sight in the world. Catra flips onto her back to see it better, and Adora’s hand ends up resting on her heaving stomach.

And they both wish it was lower lbr.

“Tell me again how you don’t like being the center of attention,” teases Adora, her speech still broken and breathless.

Catra just grins, clasping her hands behind her head. “Never said I didn’t.”

Yeah for something I added in at the last minute I really enjoy this scene. Competitive sexual tension is my jam.

#ask games #director's commentary #catradora #fanfic #hail mary #spop #writing #asks #anon

30 notes · View notes

lilhemmo · 4 years

Note

i..uh.. need a fix it fic for tros... if you're interested

a/n: of course i’m interested :) need i say spoilers ahead?? omitting what i don’t want from canon (what i know) and adding in whatever i feel :)

Isolation is the one thing Rey knows best, so it’s the only thing that makes sense to her when she falls back into reliance on her survival instincts.

She tries the desert planet of her mentor.

The sand is all too familiar between her toes and in her teeth. The biting wind turns her cheeks to raw skin. The heat warms her whole body to a pink color, the flush on her cheeks fabricated from a sunburn.

It isn’t long before Rey remembers...she hates the sand.

And she feels the green calling out to her, night after night, when the desert cold settles in, chilling her down to the marrow.

It takes a while, but finally, Rey answers.

It is a siren song, reminding her of Han Solo’s warm smile as she took in the sight of a new planet for the first time. She can hear his voice ringing in her ears as she drives the Falcon towards a planet that screams brightly at her through the Force. She can smell the foliage through her connection with the life force of the entire galaxy; it calls to her with a voice as soft as the petals of an Anagallis flower.

As her feet touch the ground and fresh blades of grass split between her toes, she feels a wave of nausea force her to her knees.

Find me. Please, find me.

Rey covers her ears with her hands and pushes herself back to her full height. She winces at the familiar voice, tears surfacing in her eyes immediately while his words resonate in her mind.

“You’re gone,” she spits, angry with herself for falling so quickly back into hope. Still, she searches frantically for even the muted blue glow of the Force somewhere in the distance.

She sleeps in the Falcon with her staff tucked underneath a pillow. The low hum of the kyber crystal lulls her to sleep at night, drowning the voice reverberating in her head.

Every morning she finds herself something for breakfast - either a fish from the nearby river or a little animal in the woods - and she cooks it just under the shield of the Falcon, sitting on a log and picking under her fingernails when she’s done.

She thinks of how he might critique her, how he would despise the way she’s living. He means well, of course. Or rather meant well, given he can’t mean anything anymore. Even still, Rey swears that she can feel his heart beating in the background of her soul, pushing her forward each day with it’s strong song.

He starts to come to her in her dreams.

She decides to leave the green planet and find another.

This time it is blue.

Blue like his saber. Blue like his soul. Blue like his light.

All she can remember of him is blue.

Rey swallows thickly as she steps down from the Falcon’s steps to traverse onto the new planet, trying to shed her old skin like a reptile, moving on into the next step of her life.

As soon as her feet touch solid ground, something buckles in the Force.

Her heart beats heavy in her chest and sweat beads on her forehead. Rey feels a throbbing at the back of her mind, pulsing like a heartbeat. She follows where the Force leads, beckoning her closer to the edge of the planet, closer to the blue sea.

Her toes dip in when she hears his voice echo in the wind, “Find me. I’m here.”

Tears fall down her cheeks just as they always do when she hears his voice calling out to her like a dream. She shakes her head and water falls from the sky. Rey falls to her knees, digging her hands in the sand, water up to her elbows.

“I can’t fool myself any longer,” she cries out to the ocean. Her eyes burn with saltwater, “No more tricks, no more lies. Please. I’m tired.”

And then it’s no longer blue, but black.

Hollow, cold blackness.

Rey has felt this before - on Ahch-To, when the deep called to her then. Master Luke admonished her for her flailing towards the sadness that ironically gave her hope. She should feel scared, frightened even, but all she can taste is the honeyed thought of home just against the tip of her tongue. It begs for her to swallow, to allow the warmth to seep into her bones.

Instead, she meets the chill of the ocean. The tide rises and steam billows from the difference in temperature. Her heart hammers in her chest, eyes fluttering behind thin lids. Rey stands back to her feet, trousers soaked to her knees.

She remembers how she is supposed to be afraid of the dark, to scamper from it. Her limbs should be shuddering and her heart should be a block of ice in her ribs but all she feels is temptation and heat.

Rey swallows drily, her mouth turned to sandpaper, and then she dives.

She isn’t sure how she can breathe under the water. Maybe that’s the Force too.

Either way, Rey pushes herself until she gets to the part of the water that numbs her body. It brings her closer to the pulsing until her mind cannot focus, cannot feel anything but the Force overwhelming her, begging her to dive deeper.

Rey is afraid that if she dives too far, she may never come up for air.

Was this what Master Luke warned her about?

She does not have time to think because her fingertips brush over the hilt of a saber in the murky sand below. Rey’s fingertips wrap around the base of the saber and it is one she knows all too well - the cross-guard is unmistakable.

As both hands touch the hilt of the lightsaber, Rey is thrown backward against a jagged rock somewhere at the bottom of the ocean. The base of her neck cracks against the rock and her body falls limp into the sand.

A few bubbles part from her lips and then everything goes black.

“Foolish Jedi,” a voice murmurs, warm and gentle. “I suppose you’re not really a Jedi though now, are you?”

Rey feels her hair brushed away from her face and she wants to force her eyes open because she’s afraid she may be in danger, but her body won’t listen.

The voice is deep, rough from disuse, “I’m not sure how you found me. I’ve been calling to you.”

The voice is one from her dreams.

“Ben?” her voice cracks.

Rey wills her eyelids to open and she swears he is a dream. Or a nightmare.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he speaks, and she realizes his hands are against her neck and waist, just like the day he died. Tears spring to her eyes and Rey lurches forward, ducking her head into his neck. She will not take for granted their time, even if he is a figment instead of reality.

His arms wrap around her and he feels solid, but she won’t be tricked. He has been an imaginary thing in her mind for far too long for her to start trusting herself now.

“I’m here,” his voice echoes as if he were reading her mind.

Which, if she were to think too hard about it, he probably is. He’s been in her mind since the day he removed his mask and bared his soul to her. She grits her teeth and forces herself to look him in the eyes.

He is dark, but he is also light.

His clothes are all varying shades of black, and his eyes are deep, ebony to match his hair. However, the light in his irises, the hope in his voice - it all balances.

“I can’t take this,” her voice wobbles, but her hands find solid skin when she touches his torso. “This sick dream has turned into a nightmare and you haunt me. Can’t I be free of this pain?”

Rey’s words echo his from all those years ago - words he wailed to Han Solo before the flash of red and singed flesh filled the desolate air.

Ben looks over her frantically, as if trying to put together a puzzle she can’t quite see. He brushes the back of his palm over her cheek and she is reminded of the feel of his own skin under the pads of her fingers as he flashed her his final smile.

“Please, Ben,” her voice breaks. Rey sniffles and her shoulders shake.

He shakes his head, “I don’t know what to tell you, Rey. You found me. I thought you would be free of the pain that has clouded you since Exegol.”

“F-Found?” Rey echoes.

Her big, brown eyes look up at him like a confused animal and he has to fight back the desire to chuckle between his lips.

Instead, he nods, “Yes. I’ve been stuck in this, uh, this world between worlds of sorts. I can’t get out - at least not alone.”

Once she understands, it’s as if her whole world has turned back right-side up. Rey’s beaming smile returns and Ben feels his heart expand in his chest so much so that he fears his ribs may hurt, but he doesn’t care.

“I found you,” she repeats, her hands on his cheeks now.

All she can think about is his mouth, his touch. She wants to drown in it, like she did the ocean. Her hand flexes, remembering the lightsaber.

“Your saber.” Rey turns frantically, searching for the weapon. She swallows before turning back to him, “When I touched it, that is what brought me here.”

Ben blinks one time too many before focusing back on her face again. He shakes his head, “No matter. It’s a relic of a dead man, passed away when you healed me.”

As if seeing him for the first time, Rey draws the tip of her index finger down where his scar used to be - where Kylo used to be. The splitting of his soul in two.

“I didn’t even notice,” she murmurs, eyelids threatening to close with the nearness of him intoxicating her. She sighs and he chuckles just loud enough for her to hear him.

Ben is quiet for a moment, drinking her in slowly like she might disappear any second now. Rey does not break his eye contact, her soul unwilling to be apart from him again.

“I’m not sure how to get out,” he tells her, tone heady.

She watches as his lower lip trembles and she wonders what it would feel like against her own mouth. Rey looks around, breaking eye contact with him for a mere moment.

When her gaze returns to his, he’s instilled with a confidence he’s not sure he’s ever possessed.

“We’ll figure it out - together.”

It has been a long time since Ben Solo knew he could count on anyone other than Kylo Ren.

He’s not quite sure when this scavenger dug her own hole in his heart, but he knows better than to push her away. Instead, he tucks her further into his arms, heart beating wildly against the fabric of his shirt.

“I like the sound of that,” he mumbles, eyes flitting closed as his lips find hers for the first time in too long.

Rey loses herself in the taste of his lips, the feel of his body. His arms are around her like a cage, securing her so she won’t fall apart again.

She’s not quite sure when trusting him became second nature, but she knows better than to push him away. Instead, she grips him by the collar and the jaw and bruises his mouth with her own.

And for the third time, Ben Solo and Rey work together to fight a common enemy.

a/n: i actually really like this???? not real worried about how it works plot wise or lore wise, i’m just having a good time

#reylo #ben solo #rey #reylo fic #benrey #benrey fic #rey x kylo #rey x ben #rey x ben solo #ben solo x rey #kylo x rey #kylo ren x rey #my songs #star wars

136 notes · View notes

orokin-made · 4 years

Note

1, 2, 7 and 10 for the Deadfire Ask Meme, please (Though of course you're more than welcome to just rattle them all off too if you'd like)!

Thank you! You are too generous with your enabling, really.

1.What did your Watcher make of the Deadfire Archipelago? Was it their first time there, or had they been there previously?

Elehal was born there! Though not quite in the section the game takes place in. It was kind of a shock, suddenly waking up back “home” after having been away for so long and having so much happen, but mostly he was excited to show his friends around and take them to all the cool places he knew. He spent most of the voyage from Port Maje to Neketaka talking about all the times he’d been to the city previously, and how wonderful it was, and all the things they should go see while they were there. After spending so much time exploring and learning about other people and places, it was kind of nice to be the local expert for once.

2.Did they have a favourite location?

He loves Neketaka. A big, exciting city full of exciting people and beautiful buildings, all built to his scale so he doesn’t have to bend over every time he walks through a door and the whole thing is built on top of the sprawling ruins of a different, ancient city?? It’s almost enough to make him settle down in one place for a while.

As for non-hub city locations, Motare o Kozi also has all of his favorite things all in one place: wilderness exploration, hidden ruins, mysterious machines, a connection to the Huana, just everything he could possibly want.

3.How about a favourite companion? Or a favourite NPC?

Elehal and Tekehu get on amazingly. They know all the same stories and songs, (at least the Huana ones, Elehal has a much wider knowledge of folklore/music from the rest of Eora) Tekehu is probably the best at getting Elehal to lighten up and laugh out of all the companions, and Elehal still gets to feel needed as someone to give Tekehu some direction and guidance. They have different experiences with being godlike, and that is a source of some tension between them at first, as much as Elehal tries to avoid it, but that’s a topic I'm exploring elsewhere atm.

(tbh it’s a good thing Aloth got in there first because I think Sharkboy and Lavaguy Elehal/Tekehu would simply be too powerful for the world to handle.)

4.Was there a companion or an NPC that they just couldn’t stand? What was it about them that irritated your Watcher?

Getting along with everybody -- and I do mean everybody-- is sort of Elehal’s whole thing, so people he actively dislikes are few and far between. That being said, he’s not fond of pirates or the Principi as a whole, both for the obvious reasons and just because he thinks their obnoxious and rude and kind of gross. Out of the companions Maia and Pallegina are probably the two he has the most difficult time building a relationship with, largely in part due to all three of them supporting different factions and having different visions for the future of the Deadfire. He and Maia could probably have done alright if the situation was different, bonded over a love of exploration and affectionate ribbing of her brother, but Pallegina and Elehal were rubbing each other the wrong way all the way back in the Dyrwood. I’m still trying to work out why specifically the two of them don’t get along, but I think part of it is their both so firm in their principals and values they just can’t find enough common ground when those values are in conflict with each other.

5.Was your Watcher glad to have Eder, Aloth and Pallegina back again (if indeed they did)? Was there any other companion that they would have liked to have back in their party?

Eder and Aloth have always been important anchors for Elehal, keeping him grounded while he’s dealing with whatever Watcher nonsense he’s found himself in this time. Eder is so solid and unflappable, doesn’t complicate or overthink things, and is just all around the most reliable person Elehal knows. He trusts Aloth’s judgement and opinion more than anyone else’s, knows he doesn’t do or say things without giving them thorough consideration first and respects that. He’s also....real cute... just absolutely the most wonderful thing since sliced bread... how is he so small... a perfect man....

There’s a -- quietly -- longrunning joke between the rest of the party that Hylea and Magran got their godlikes mixed up when Elehal and Pallegina were born, which the two of them could bond over being offended by if they ever found out, but so far it hasn’t happened. Elehal felt pretty guilty for the whole mess Pallegina got into after she went back to the Republics, and really wanted to make it up to her somehow, despite their difficulties with each other. It didn’t exactly work out, but he got to apologize at least

6.What was your Watcher’s ship(’s) name(s)? Did they enjoy being Captain of a boat? Would they rather have been back at Caed Nua?

Yes and no. He loved being the Lord of Caed Nua, and still feels homesick for it from time to time, but having his own ship has been one of his dreams since he was a little kid watching boats come and go from his island. Ships are like castles but you don’t have to settle down in one place to live in them! Best of both worlds.

The Godhammer was a beautiful ship. Her name had earned him no shortage of incredulous and scandalized looks, and more than a few sharp words from Xoti and Edér, but he had been insistent. A private joke, of sorts. Magran had killed Eothas once before, now her chosen hounded him across the Deadfire. The goddess of trials and fire finished what she started. One way or another.

7.Did they have a favourite quest or side quest? How about a least favourite?

Everything about the Black Isle was absolutely intolerable for him. He likes digging around for secrets as much as the next guy, but come ON. This is ridiculous. And awful.

He probably got the most satisfaction from the questline helping the roparu in the gullet, getting to just... help people without having to worry about consequences or compromising morals or anything.

8.Did your Watcher find romance, or close companionship, in the Deadfire? If so, who did they get close to, and how did that relationship develop?

While he and Aloth both had badly hidden, un-admitted to crushes on each other for the majority of their travels together in the Dyrwood, they were both also going through Some Shit and just. Not in any kind of place to be getting into a relationship. So their five years apart were difficult, but necessary, I think. Elehal is still going through Some Shit during Deadfire, but it’s less “My sense of self is being destroyed and I can’t sleep because of ghost whispers” so it doesn’t impact his personal relationships nearly as much.

Things are a little awkward in the beginning, trying to figure out if the other person still has feelings for them or if the whole thing was just, like, trauma bonding or something. But they get there eventually, and end up being very good for each other, in the end. Aloth understands how seriously Elehal takes his responsibilities and does what he can to make the burden of them lighter without downplaying the importance of what their doing, and Elehal encourages Aloth to find his own direction after having all his decisions made for him for so long, while still offering him support, and guidance if he wants it.

9.Which faction did your Watcher side with in the end, if any? Was there a particular reasoning behind their decision?

The Huana. There wasn’t really any other option for him, in the end. Letting any of the other factions set foot on Ukaizo, of all places, would have been simply unacceptable. He struggled with having to blow up the powderhouse and then lie about it, it’s not what he does, it feels wrong, but accepted it as another unfortunate but necessary action that he’ll answer for when the time comes. And, well, Onekaza is still technically his queen, and having her recognize him as Huana and earning her respect meant a great deal to him.

10.Where do you imagine your Watcher’s life takes them after the events of Deadfire?

HHHHHHHHH are we talking the depressing canon ending or the real one? Because in the real one he and Aloth take like, a year long vacation to Aedyr and spend the whole time going to libraries and museums and --safe, publicly accessible-- historical sites and Aloth finally gets to show Elehal that nice spot in the Cythwood by a waterfall. THEN they can start tackling the whole rebuilding the Wheel and hunting down the rest of the Leaden Key and all those other extremely important responsibilities.

#orime-stories #... why did it put the readmore....THERE #how do I fix this #poe #Elehal #Watcher Wednesday #replies

13 notes · View notes

fishball-and-sweet-potato · 4 years

Text

Zero O'Clock - BirdCop Celebration + GIF Challenge (MLQC AU)

I just wanna join. I actually want to post this fic at ARMY day (9th of July), but here it is anyway!

Pairing : Leah Hong (MC) x Gavin Bai

Warning : triggering events (containing insecurity and anxiety)

Disclaimer : Leah is MC in this AU. In this AU, there is no Evol.

Genre : fluff

Words : 1,542

NB : this fic is also inspired from this song

“Leah, you should go home now. You just left the hospital yesterday, your body still needs time to be fully recovered,” Anna slowly shaked my body, waking me up.

Leah corrected her posture, “yeah, I know I should. But I don’t want to become a burden for all of you, and especially that’s because I’m in charge of this company now. I just feel like I’m the one that should be my fellow workers’ strength, and I failed you all, even my father…” unbeknownst to her, her eyes felt hot. Leah wanted to continue but her brain couldn’t process her emotions right now.

“No, you’re not. And believe me, we all have made mistakes when that talk show was supposed to be aired live. But still, we managed to do it well at last thanks to the content and technical errors,” Willow tried to assure her. Three days ago, Leah had a chance to interview Mrs. Peng, the owner of a well-known bak kut teh* shop named Seventh Heaven. The topic was about business’ survival strategies for small and medium enterprises amidst the economic crisis. Suddenly, her stomach felt painful and she couldn’t suppress it despite all her efforts, until she fainted. The first thing she thought when she gained my consciousness was, she was such an unprofessional disgrace for this show.

“I want to see the editing process for a while,” Leah replied, still refusing to do nothing.

“Boss, we can also lend you a shoulder. I’ll send it straight to you when it’s finished. Okay?” Kiki patted her shoulder.

Before Leah nodded in defeat, Minor continued, “Boss, I’m sorry for the shift of topic, but Gavin said to me that he will come to your house around 10 pm.”

She yawned, “why didn’t he tell me directly?”

Minor rolled his eyes, but suddenly he had a flustered look on his face, “eh, sorry, he already contacted you several times, but no answer from you.”

Leah checked my phone, it had no power. “Oh God, why am I so stupid? Gavin is definitely angry with me now,” she said resenting herself. The fact that she had done this earlier consumed all her sanity. She immediately turned on her phone, and her eyes almost popped out from their sockets seeing the amount of missed calls. The fact that this day was July 28th made her more shocked. “Okay, I gotta go now,” she said after her friends kept telling me the editing was almost finished.

Leah went to Seventh Heaven. Amidst the crowd, she could still hear the voice she knew really well greeted her first, “Leah, are you feeling better?”

“Mrs. Peng!” Leah slightly raised her voice and fastened her pace towards the middle-aged woman. “Yeah, I’m healthy now! I’m… I’m sorry…” suddenly the scene flashed her mind, her body felt heavy.

“You don’t need to. Let’s go inside,” Mrs. Peng replied, dragging her into the shop.

“I think the technical errors are made up…” Leah couldn’t help but loathed everything around her.

Mrs. Peng patted her, “we can’t prevent unexpected things from happening. Instead, the only thing we could do is to find ways so it would be meaningful.”

While Leah was digesting her words, Gavin’s smile entered her thought and erased her anxiety, “I want to buy two portions of pork tenderloin soup, one portion of fish soup, and one braised pork belly. All takeaways, please.”

“For who?” Mrs. Peng giggled. “Let me guess, your policeman friend…”

Leah blushed and tried to hide her embarrassment with all her might, “uh, Gavin, tomorrow is his birthday.”

Not long after, a waitress handed her orders. Leah waved goodbye at Mrs. Peng. Her home was quite far from her company and the shop, so she had to take a bus ride. She was listening to her favourite song, not realizing that she dozed off.

You know those days

Those days where you're sad for no reason

And it looks like everyone else except you is busy and fierce

Those days where your body is heavy

My feet won't set off, though it seems like I'm already too late

I'm hateful of the whole world

Yeah, here and there are click-clacking speed bumps

My heart grows crumpled and my words lessen

Why the hell? I ran so hard

Oh why to me

A bell sound gave her consciousness back. Finance Street Halt, Leah could read the sign clearly and hear the sound of the broadcaster telling the passengers to pay when they intended to leave the bus repeatedly. She hurriedly ran to my home, opened her phone. She just realized that she hadn’t replied to Gavin's messages. Without a second thought, she spammed him her apology. Not seeing any signs of his reply, she attempted to sleep because she was really beaten up. The only thing that kept her awake was the clock, reminding her of her faults and it was already 10.30 pm. She continued listening to the song, so she could relieve her stomach pain and irregular, fast-paced heartbeat.

Come home and lie in bed

Dizzy night, looking at the clock

Thinking if it was my fault?

Soon it will be midnight

When her mind was about to drift off, the bell rang. “Coming,” Leah said, running to the door. The first thing she saw after opening the door made her heart want to leap, but getting crumpled instead. Gavin was in his casual clothes, but with a solemn look on his face. “Gavin, you’re late. Come in,” she said, inviting him to enter her home. He only followed her without uttering any single word.

After both of them sat, he started speaking, “I’m sorry for not telling you, I just finished my work. Leah, have you eaten?”

Leah shook her head, “actually, I bought food from Seventh Heaven. Mrs. Peng is really generous despite all my mistakes.”

Seeing her held back her tears, Gavin approached her, then she felt a pair of warm arms encircled her. “You have done your best, Leah.”

“I’m just a nuisance,” she said coldly. “And yeah, the audience wasn’t really impressed because the airing time was rescheduled. That makes me think that I should get lost forever. And I even forget to return your calls...”

A pair of amber eyes pierced through her soul’s window, his hand patted her head gently, “I’m hateful of the world too. But, about the last thing, that makes me dead worried. Have I done something wrong? Because all I got is my own echo.”

Somehow, she finally managed to let out a laugh, “Minor told me that too. No, actually I’m just dumb. I forgot to charge my phone.”

Gavin sighed, a small but sincere smile curved from his mouth. “I’m here to accompany you tonight.”

Thanks to him, Leah felt much better. “Let’s eat now. I’ve been waiting for you so we can start making our tummy happy!” She was beyond glad because he loved the bak kut teh.

After the dinner was finished, she held his hand while guiding him to her bedroom. Gavin always gave her warmth despite his cold exterior. “Listen to this song with me, it really helps me cope with the present situation.”

Gavin was confused when he put one side of my earphones, “what song?”

God, how Leah wished she could cuddle him. She showed him the English translation in order to make him understand the meaning better. He was a bit sulky that she liked the boy group that sang it a bit too much, but he tried hard to hide it by cuddling her tight.

It won't be something like that

Will something be different?

But this day will be over

When the minute and second hands overlap

The world holds its breath for a little while

Zero o’clock

Her reminder popped up. It was already July 29th, zero o’clock. They kept listening to the song.

(Ooh-ooh) And you're gonna be happy

Like that snow that just settled down

Let's breathe, like the first time

(Ooh-ooh) And you're gonna be happy

Turn this all around

When everything is new, zero o'clock

Leah paused the song, pulled herself from his cuddle, “happy birthday, Potato. I hope at this new year of your life, you’ll be happier and healthier.”

Gavin cuddled her again, “thank you so much, my Pumpkin. My wish is the same for you. I hope I’ll be the one who makes you get the happiness you deserve.”

She blushed, how could he be so smooth at times. He laughed at my reddened face. “Why are you laughing? Let us pray,” she said to divert her embarrassment.

They were holding hands, silently pouring all their wishes.

Put my hands together to pray

It'll be better, for me

Hoping that tomorrow I'll laugh more, for me

When this song ends

May a new song begin

Hoping that I'll be a little happier, yeah

Gavin caressed her hair after he saw her yawned. “Sleepy?”

“Yeah, finally. But I’m joyful because it’s the tranquility that makes me sleepy, not the usual tiredness,” Leah snuggled closer to him.

“Sweet dreams for us, then,” he closed his eyes, hugging her in their sleep.

*bak kut teh : a pork ribs / meat soup dish with salted vegetables (this is how it looks like)

This is the GIF :))

9 notes · View notes