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doctorbitchcrxft · 22 days

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Skin | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader (Eventual)

Warnings: mentions of assault/battery, canon violence, canon gore (take care of urselves bbies)

Word Count: 5826

Series Rewrite Masterlist

You and Dean didn’t talk about Toledo. You were back to not talking about much of anything. Your fights had become much less frequent, and when you did fight, it was more playful than malicious. For that, you were grateful. You felt incredibly conflicted about the fact that he was beginning to grow on you.

‘Like a wart,’ you thought. ‘Or a blister, maybe.’

Whatever he was, he was beginning to chip through your hard exterior. You also found out he hadn’t told Sam what you’d told him about your family which you were surprised by.

The three of you spent more time on the road than you did anywhere else. When you used to drive cross-country by yourself, you felt yourself beginning to go crazy a few hours into the drive. As much as you loved your alone time, you also craved the company of others. Now that you had it, you weren’t sure how you were going to leave these guys once you found John.

Dean turned in his seat to face Sam. “Alright, I figure we’d hit Tucumcari by lunch, then head south, hit Bisbee by midnight.”

He didn’t respond.

“Sam wears women’s underwear.”

“I’ve been listenin’, I’m just busy,” he finally answered.

“Busy doin’ what?” you placed your head on his shoulder over the top of the seat.

“Reading e-mails.”

Dean had gotten out of the car and began pumping gas. “E-mails from who?”

“From my friends at Stanford.” Sam still seemed disinterested in conversation.

“You’re kidding. You still keep in touch with your college buddies?” Dean asked.

“Why not?” He still hadn’t turned his attention from his phone.

“Well, what exactly do you tell ‘em? You know, about where you’ve been, what you’ve been doin’?”

“I tell ‘em I’m on a road trip with my big brother. I tell ‘em I needed some time off after Jess.”

“And I couldn’t make my way into that lie?” you asked.

“What do I tell ‘em, (Y/N/N)? That we picked up some chick in California and took her on the road with us?” he chuckled. “And I don’t lie to them. I just don’t tell ‘em… everything.”

“Yeah, that’s called lying,” you retorted. “I get it, though, the truth is much worse.”

“So, what am I supposed to do, just cut everybody out of my life?”

His older brother shrugged.

“You’re serious?” Sam wasn’t really asking.

“Look, it sucks, but in a job like this, you can’t get close to people, period,” Dean responded.

“How many friends do I have, Sam?” you asked him.

“Me.”

“Exactly,” you giggled.

“You two are kind of anti-social, you know that?” He returned to scrolling through his emails.

“Eh, whatever.” You flopped back on the bench seat.

“God….” Sam trailed off.

“What?” you and Dean asked.

“In this e-mail from this girl, Rebecca Warren, one of those friends of mine.”

“Is she hot?”

You rolled your eyes. “Dean—”

Sam ignored the two of you. “I went to school with her, and her brother, Zack. She says Zack’s been charged with murder. He’s been arrested for killing his girlfriend. Rebecca says he didn’t do it, but it sounds like the cops have a pretty good case.”

“Dude, what kind of people are you hangin’ out with?” his brother questioned.

“No, man, I know Zack. He’s no killer.”

“Well, maybe you know Zack as well as he knows you.”

“They’re in St. Louis. We’re goin’.”

“Look, sorry ‘bout your buddy, okay?” Dean chuckled humorlessly. “But this does not sound like our kind of problem.”

Sam wasn’t having it. “It is our problem. They’re my friends.”

“St. Louis is four hundred miles behind us, Sam.” Dean and Sam got into what you can only describe as a staring contest before Dean scoffed; seemingly admitting defeat. Next thing you knew, you were headed to St. Louis.

***

The massive door on the undoubtedly expensive house you’d arrived at opened to reveal a beautiful blonde girl.

‘Damn all these pretty blonde bitches we keep running into,’ you thought.

“Oh my God, Sam!” she smiled, throwing her arms around her friend.

“Well, if it isn’t little Becky,” Sam jested.

“You know what you can do with that little Becky crap.”

“I got your e-mail.” His tone had become somber.

“I didn’t think that you would come here,” she answered earnestly.

Dean shoved in front of Sam. “Dean. Older brother.”

‘He’s making his fucking voice deeper again.’

She shook his hand. “Hi.”

“Hi,” she smiled back.

“We’re here to help. Whatever we can do.” You peeked out from behind Sam. “I’m (Y/N), by the way.”

“Nice to meet you!” You were only mildly annoyed by how wonderful her disposition was. “Come in.”

“Nice place,” Dean commented, taking in his grandiose surroundings.

“It’s my parents’. I was just crashing here for the long weekend when everything happened. I decided to take the semester off. I’m gonna stay until Zack’s free,” Becky explained.

“Where are your folks?” Sam asked.

“They live in Paris for half the year, so they’re on their way home now for the trial.”

‘Of course, they fucking do.’

“Do you guys want a beer or something?” she asked politely.

Dean obviously did, but his brother stopped him. “No, thanks. So, tell us what happened.”

“Well, um, Zack came home, and he found Emily tied to a chair. And she was beaten up and bloody, and she wasn’t breathing.” Becky began to cry.

‘She’s even pretty when she cries.’

“So, he called 911, and the police— they showed up, and they arrested him. But, the thing is, the only way that Zack could’ve killed Emily is if he was in two places at the same time. The police—they have a video. It’s from the security tape from across the street. And it shows Zack coming home at 10:30. Now, Emily was killed just after that, but I swear, he was here with me, having a few beers until at least after midnight,” she relayed.

“You know, maybe we could see the crime scene. Zack’s house.”

“We could,” Dean agreed, but you could tell he still wasn’t picking up where Sam was going with this.

“Why? I mean, what could you do?” the blonde asked.

“Well, me, not much. But Dean’s a cop.” Sam patted his brother’s shoulder.

“Detective, actually,” Dean laughed.

“Really? Where?”

“Bisbee, Arizona. But I’m off-duty now.”

“You guys, it’s so nice to offer, but I just— I don’t know,” she said.

“Bec, look, I know Zack didn’t do this. Now, we have to find a way to prove that he’s innocent,” Sam replied.

“Okay. I’m gonna go get the keys.”

“Oh, yeah, man, you’re a real straight shooter with your friends,” Dean mocked after Becky had walked down the hall.

“Look, Zack and Becky need our help,” Sam responded.

“I just don’t think this is our kind of problem.”

“Two places at once? We’ve looked into less.”

Dean said nothing, clearly defeated.

***

“You’re sure this is okay?” Rebecca asked Dean as the four of you walked into Zack's house.

Dean clearly was having fun with the whole “cop” thing. “Yeah. I am an officer of the law.”

You hated how smug he could be. Rebecca came inside with you and informed you that Emily had let her attacker in.

She then informed you about a recent incident that struck you as odd. “Um, there was something, about a week before. Somebody broke in here and stole some clothes— Zack’s clothes. The police— they don’t think it’s anything. I mean, we’re not that far from downtown. Sometimes people get robbed.” In the midst of her story, you could hear a dog barking angrily across the street. Dean peered out of the window, and Becca came up behind him. “You know, that used to be the sweetest dog.”

“What happened?” you asked her.

“He just changed.”

Dean turned over his shoulder to her. “Do you remember when he changed?”

“I guess around the time of the murder,” she shrugged.

You found Sam staring at a picture of himself, another college-aged boy you assumed was Zack, and Rebecca that was framed in the hallway.

Dean came up behind you soon after. “So, the neighbor’s dog went psycho right around the time Zack’s girlfriend was killed.”

“Animals can have a sharp sense of the paranormal,” Sam said.

“Yeah, maybe Fido saw somethin’.”

“So, you think maybe this is our kind of problem?”

“Yeah, prob—” you started, only to be cut off by Dean.

“No. Probably not. But we should look at the security tape, you know, just to make sure.”

You shot him a look. “The evidence is staring you in the face, and you still can’t admit you’re wrong.”

He shot a look back at you that said, ‘Don’t try me.’

Before you could push each other’s buttons any further, Rebecca came over to you, and Dean turned his attention to her. “So, the tape. The security footage— you think maybe your lawyers could get their hands on it, ‘cause I just don’t have that kind of jurisdiction.”

How Becky was buying into Dean’s lie, you had no idea. He was really laying it on thick.

“I’ve already got it. I didn’t wanna say something in front of the cop,” she giggled. “I stole it off the lawyer’s desk. I just had to see it for myself.”

The three of you went back to Becky’s parents’ home to review the security footage. It was of Zack entering his house, but a strange glint on the film caught your eye.

“22:04,” Dean noted the time stamp, “that’s just after ten. You said time of death was about 10:30.”

“Our lawyers hired some kind of video expert. He says the tape’s authentic. It wasn’t tampered with,” Becky added.

“Hey, Bec, can we take those beers now?” Sam asked.

“Oh, sure,” she replied politely, turning to go to the kitchen.

“Maybe some sandwiches, too?” He was putting on the puppy dog eyes just a bit to convince her.

“What do you think this is, Hooters?” she snarked.

“I wish,” Dean mumbled.

“Can you focus, please?” you asked him.

“What are you, my mother?” Your banter was no longer filled with malice, just a hint of aggravation.

“No, but frankly, the thought of you trying to bang someone makes me want to throw up in my mouth. I’d prefer not to watch it happen,” you replied playfully. “But look.” You rewound the tape an started it over. You caught the glint again, paused it, and realized Zack’s eyes were silver. “There!”

“Well, maybe it’s just a camera flare,” Dean shrugged.

“Does that look like any camera flare you’ve ever seen?” you asked rhetorically.

He just looked away, defeated.

“You know, a lot of cultures believe that a photograph can catch a glimpse of the soul,” Sam chimed in. “Remember that dog that was freaking out? Maybe he saw this thing. Maybe this is some kind of dark double of Zack’s, something that looks like him but isn’t him.”

“Like a Doppelganger?” Your brow knitted together, mind trying to wrap around what you were dealing with.

“Yeah. It’d sure explain how he was in two places at once,” Sam said.

Despite the luxurious villa Sam’s friend called home, the three of you didn’t want to intrude on her privacy; opting for yet another shitty motel. Something about this case was bugging you, though, and you tossed and turned all night thinking about it. And then, it hit you.

You pulled on your jacket and boots and rushed over to the boys’ room. A sleepy Dean answered the door. You hated to admit it, but he and his fluffy, mussed up hair were adorable when he’d just woken up.

“Morning, sunshine,” you grinned.

He scratched his head. “(Y/N), what the fu—”

“We have to get to Zack’s house. I just thought of something. “

Sam appeared behind Dean, already dressed. “Whatcha got?”

Dean stepped back from the door, letting you into the room.

“We saw ‘Zack’ go in, but never saw the killer leave,” you explained. “But of course, we didn’t. Why would the cops be looking for that when they nabbed Zack in his house with his dead girlfriend?”

Sam was with you, nodding his head.

“Did you have to realize that before five in the morning?” Dean yawned, pulling a pair of pants on.

“Sorry,” you replied sheepishly. “Couldn’t sleep. But I figured that out, so that’s all that matters.”

Dean shook his head and yawned again. “Sam, you’re driving. I might crash my baby if I drive right now.”

***

“He must’ve gone out the back door,” Sam said. You and the brothers were walking toward Zack’s house. “So, there should be a trail to follow. A trail the police would never pursue.”

“I still don’t know what we’re doin’ here at 5:30 in the morning,” Dean grumbled.

“C’mon,” you groaned, dragging his arm to follow Sam around the back of Zack’s house. Sure enough, there was a dried, dark red substance smeared on a nearby telephone pole.

“Blood. Somebody came this way,” Sam noted.

“Yeah, but the trail ends,” Dean added from a few paces ahead. “I don’t see anything over here.”

Just as he finished speaking, an ambulance drove past the house with its sirens wailing. You and Sam looked at each other before hurrying back to Dean’s car. Dean followed the ambulance to its destination where a man was handcuffed and being shoved into the back of a police car.

“What happened?” Dean asked a bystander.

“He tried to kill his wife,” she responded with a hand to her chest. “Tied her up and beat her.”

“Really?” you asked.

“I used to see him going to work in the morning. He’d wave, say hello. He seemed like such a nice guy.” She shook her head sorrowfully and watched as the police car drove away.

The three of you hung around the scene for a while until it had been completely cleared out. You regrouped while you snooped around.

“Remember when I said this wasn’t our kind of problem?” Dean asked as he approached you and Sam.

“Yeah,” his brother answered.

“Definitely our kind of problem.”

You gasped, feigning shock. “Mark it in the calendar, Dean Winchester admitted he was wrong!”

“Watch it, sweetheart,” he retorted.

“What’d you find out?” Sam asked.

“Well, I just talked to the patrolman who was first on the scene, heard this guy, Alex’s story. Apparently the dude was driving home from a business trip when his wife was attacked,” Dean explained.

“So, he was in two places at once, too.”

“Exactly. Then he sees himself in the house; police think he’s a nutjob.”

You paused for a moment, thinking. “You think it could be a shapeshifter?”

“Something that can make itself look like anyone? Sure,” Sam responded. “Every culture in the world has a shapeshifter lore. You know, legends of creatures who can transform themselves into animals or other men.”

“Right, skinwalkers, werewolves,” Dean added. “We’ve got two attacks within blocks of each other. I’m guessin’ we’ve got a shapeshifter prowlin’ the neighborhood.”

“Let me ask you this— in all this shapeshifter lore, can any of them fly?” the younger brother asked.

“Not that I know of.” You shook your head. “But someone ran out the back of his house and headed this way. And then… the trail just… ends. Just like at your friend’s house.” You gestured toward Sam.

“Well, there’s another way to go.” You followed Dean’s gaze down to a manhole.

“Ew, gross.” Your face scrunched up in disgust as Sam started to move the manhole cover.

The three of you quickly climbed down so as to not be seen.

“I bet this runs right by Zack’s house, too,” Sam said as the three of you made your way down the tunnel. “The shapeshifter could be using the sewer system to get around.”

You were leading the group, and stopped suddenly when you noticed a pile of blood and skin on the ground. “Blegh, look!”

“Is this from his victims?” Sam looked equally as disgusted.

Dean pulled out his pocket knife and lifted a piece of the skin off the ground. “You know, I just had a sick thought. When the shapeshifter changes shape, maybe it sheds.”

“That is sick,” you affirmed.

He dropped the skin back to the ground and turned to you to wipe his knife off on your jacket.

“Ew, dude!” you shoved his arm. “What the fuck?”

He just laughed in response.

You and the boys headed back up to the car to load up with some weapons.

“Well, one thing I learned from Dad—” Dean began, riffling through the weapons cavity, “—is that no matter what kind of shapeshifter it is, there’s one sure way to kill it.”

“Silver bullet to the heart,” you chimed in.

He nodded and handed you a case of the bullets.

Sam’s cell phone rang. “This is Sam… We’re near Zack’s, we’re just checkin’ some things out… What are you talkin’ about?”

He seemed caught off-guard. You thought he was talking to Rebecca, but had no idea why she’d be upset with you. You eyed Dean who shrugged.

“Why would you do that?... Bec— We’re tryin’ to help… Bec, I’m sorry, but—” And then he clapped his phone shut, looking disappointed.

Dean found it an appropriate moment to be a bit of a dick. “I hate to say it, but that’s exactly what I’m talkin’ about. You lie to your friends because if they knew the real you, they’d be freaked. It’s just—it’d be easier if—”

“If I was like you guys,” he replied quietly.

“Sam, I’m not trying to be heartless, but Dean’s kinda right.” Both brothers seemed surprised you were agreeing with Dean for once. “We’re not like other people.”

“But I’ll tell you one thing.” Dean’s lighthearted tone was back. “This whole gig— it ain’t without perks.” He held out a gun to Sam, whose face was still crestfallen.

You followed Sam and Dean back down the manhole, gun loaded with silver bullets. You carried the case of bullets Dean handed to you in your inner jacket pocket; just in case. After a few minutes of trudging through toxic sludge with baited breath, you noticed another pile of blood and skin on a pipe next to Sam’s head. “I think we’re close to its lair,” you told them.

“Why do you say that?” Sam asked.

“Because there’s another puke-inducing pile next to your face,” you snickered.

“Oh, God!” His face scrunched up in disgust.

There was another pile of clothing and rotting skin a few paces ahead of you.

“Looks like it’s lived here for a while,” you heard Dean say from behind you.

You turned to face him as you spoke. “Who knows how many murders he’s gotten away— Fuck, Dean!” you cried, seeing the shapeshifter in the form of its last victim behind him.

Dean wheeled around, only to be knocked to the ground by the smirking creature. You and Sam rushed to his side as the creature sped off.

“Get the son of a bitch!” Dean commanded.

The three of you sped down the tunnel and followed him out of the manhole. You couldn’t see where exactly he ended up, and you decided to split up.

Under the cover of night, you headed down streets and alleyways with your gun hidden inside your jacket. You came to a stop at a dead end and wheeled around at the sound of footsteps behind you. The shapeshifter, still in the form of the businessman, knocked you out cold before you were even able to raise your gun at him.

***

The next time you came to, you felt itchy bits of rope binding your hands, feet, and neck to a cold, metal post behind you. As your vision began to clear, you could see you were in some kind of a dark, dingy room. It seemed like a house, but you weren’t entirely convinced. You heard what sounded like the older brother’s voice coming from behind you.

“Dean?” you called.

“(Y/N), it’s not—” Sam shouted, but cut himself off with a groan.

“Hiya, sweetheart,” he smirked, leaning down to your eye level. He put a hand next to your head on the post.

You turned your face away from him, straining against the rope. He even smelled like Dean.

“You are one fucking trainwreck,” he said, searching your face.

You eyed him curiously. He just laughed coldly in response. “The more I learn about you, the more fucked up you get.”

“What do you mean ‘learn’?”

As if on cue, the shapeshifter held a hand to his temple, grunting in pain. After a moment had passed, he spoke again. “You made a big mistake telling him— I mean, me— about what you did to your family. If I wasn’t ready to get rid of you before, I sure as hell am now. I hope you’re tellin’ the truth about leaving the second we find Dad, ‘cause I don’t know how much longer I can put up with you. God, from your voice to your personality, you aggravate the livin’ crap outta me.” The shapeshifter leaned back down in front of your face, the two of you only inches away from one another.

“You’re a burden, (Y/N). You’re exhausting to be around. I constantly have to keep my guard up around you. I can’t trust you, not after what you told me in Toledo. How do I know you won’t turn on me and Sammy?”

Tears welled up in your eyes, but you kept them at bay. You instead reared back as much as you could and spat in his face. You had taken him by surprise, but his hand was around your throat in an instant. His lips were inches away from your ear and he squeezed your neck just tight enough to where you were beginning to see stars. “You fucking bitch. Y’know, take your voice and personality away, Dean would definitely wanna fuck you. He thought you were hot the first time he met you. Then he actually got to know you, and, eh, things changed. But I’m sure he’d have tons of fun with Sam’s little friend Becky.” A wicked grin spread across his face. “I think I’ll go pay her a visit.”

He released your throat and you sputtered and coughed when he did. He covered you up with a tarp moments later. You felt pathetic, but you let your tears flow freely now that he was gone, wiggling around to get the tarp off your head.

“(Y/N), are you back there?” Dean called from somewhere you couldn’t see.

You knew he hadn’t said those hurtful things to you, but it was still difficult to hear his voice. “Yeah, yeah. I’m here.” Your voice was still shaky from crying. “He went to Rebecca’s, lookin’ like you.”

“Well, he’s not stupid. He picked the handsome one,” Dean gibed at his brother.

You admired his ability to keep his snarky attitude and stupid jokes despite his circumstances. His confidence bewildered you at times.

You pulled at the ropes binding your hands, hissing when you felt the rope creating angry brush burns on your wrists.

“Yeah, that’s the thing. He didn’t just look like you, he was you. Or he was becoming you,” you heard Sam tell Dean.

“What do you mean?” the older brother asked.

“Yeah, it was like he was downloading your thoughts and memories,” you told him.

“You mean, like the Vulcan mind meld?”

You giggled. “Somethin’ like that.”

“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t just kill us,” Sam added.

“Yeah, he probably needs to keep us alive. Some kind of psychic connection— ah,” you yelped at the feeling of the rope aggravating your wrists again. The shifter had bound you unbelievably tightly.

“(Y/N), stop, I’m coming to help you,” Dean instructed.

“I’m a big girl,” you replied sassily. “I can do it.”

Dean had made his way over to you. “Do you have to fight me on everything?” He untied your hands with ease and began working on your neck.

“Yes, but thank you,” you told him. You still couldn’t look him in the eyes after what the shifter had told you. You were doing your best to keep your exterior steely. You couldn’t deny, though, that his tight-fitting gray t-shirt over rippling muscle and the way he’d helped you were starting to break down your walls a little.

“Come on, we gotta go,” you heard Sam order from behind you. “He’s probably at Rebecca’s already.”

Dean pushed a window out of the building you were kept in and the three of you climbed out.

Sam started down the street. “Come on. We gotta find a phone, call the police.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Dean stopped him. “You’re gonna put an APB out on me.”

His brother shrugged. “Sorry.”

“This way.” Dean led the three of you down the street. You ran shielded by the darkness until you reached a store window. There was a display wall of televisions in it, and the news was on. Conveniently, Dean was the breaking news.

“An anonymous tip led police to a home in the Central West End—” the reporter stated, “—where a S.W.A.T team discovered a local woman bound and gagged. Her attacker, a white male, approximately twenty-four to thirty years of age, was discovered hiding in her home.”

Of course, Dean’s attitude was unwavering. “Man! That’s not even a good picture.”

You looked around nervously.

“It’s good enough,” Sam said.

“Man!” Dean grumbled, following Sam down the street to an alleyway.

“They said attempted murder,” you pointed out. “At least we know—”

“I didn’t kill her.”

You nodded.

“We’ll check with Rebecca in the morning, see if she’s all right,” Sam said, looking over his shoulder.

“Alright, but first I wanna find that handsome devil and kick the holy crap out of him.”

‘He’s still as arrogant as ever.’

“We have no weapons, though. No silver bullets,” you countered.

“Sweetheart, the guy’s walkin’ around with my face, okay, it’s a little personal, I wanna find him.” He turned to face you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes.

“I get it. We need guns, though.”

“The car?” Sam threw in.

“I’m bettin’ he drove over to Rebecca’s.” Dean’s face began to heat up. You knew he was thinking about his precious Impala.

“The news said he fled on foot. I bet it’s still parked there.”

“The thought of him drivin’ my car—” he whined.

You shook your head. “Come on.”

“It’s killin’ me,” Dean whined again.

“Let it go,” you and Sam commanded over your shoulders.

The three of you rounded the corner along a tall hedge only to be greeted by the sight of the car.

“Oh, there she is! Finally, something went right tonight.” Dean’s joy was almost contagious.

His stupor was broken by a police car appearing down Rebecca’s street and blocking the end of the road.

“Fuck.” You spun around the way you came, but another cop car appeared back down that street, too.

“This way, this way,” Dean began leading you over to a fence and easily climbed atop it.

“You guys go. I’ll hold ‘em off,” Sam told you.

“What are you talking about? They’ll catch you.” Dean turned into a seated position on top the fence.

“Look, they can’t hold me. Just go, keep out of sight. Meet me at Rebecca’s,” Sam quickly spoke.

You and Dean hopped over multiple fences, fatiguing your limbs quickly. Several blocks from where you and the boys had run into the cops, the two of you stopped to catch your breath. You sat down on a street corner and tucked your knees into your chest.

Dean sat beside you. “What did he say to you?”

You turned to him. “Huh?”

“The shifter. What’d he say to you?”

You shook your head. “Nothing, it’s fine—”

“(Y/N), you haven’t looked at me once since we left that thing’s hideout. Tell me what he said.”

“Why can’t you drop it?” you spat, looking down at your boots.

“Because,” he protested. “I gave you a chance to explain in Toledo. At the very least, you owe me that.”

You sighed. “He said you think I’m annoying. And, um, a burden. He said you’re trying to find your dad so quick to get rid of me. And that you can’t trust me because of what I did to my family.”

Dean was silent for a moment. “Anything else?”

“He said everything about me aggravates you and that I exhaust you.”

He nodded. “Do you really believe that?” You could feel his gaze burning holes into the side of your face.

“I don’t know,” you answered honestly. “You haven’t exactly proven otherwise to me.” You looked up at him for the first time in hours.

He seemed surprised by that answer.

“Don’t look at me like that. Aside from Toledo and a few seconds on that plane, all we’ve ever done is fight,” you reminded him.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.” A few moments of silence passed before he spoke again. “But I don’t think those things about you. Honest.”

“I feel like I’m pulling teeth here, Dean,” you remarked. “What do you think of me?”

“I mean, you can be annoying.”

You scoffed, but a smile tugged at your lips.

“And you’re way too stubborn.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “And so are you.”

“And you’re too smart for your own good.”

“I wouldn’t say that…”

“Would you let me finish?” he deadpanned.

You took a deep breath. “Yeah, sorry.”

“You just… you intimidate me a little, honestly.” Now Dean was the one who couldn’t look at you.

You were shocked. “Really? Why?”

“Dammit, (Y/N), I’m not good at this,” he sighed. “I know you heard what I said to Haley about that being the most honest I’ve ever been with a woman.”

You giggled at the memory.

“This tops that by far,” he admitted.

You nodded. You’d have this conversation another time. You rose to your feet, and he followed suit.

“Can we start over?” you asked him.

He eyed you curiously.

“As… acquaintances, I mean,” you explained. “We’re no closer to finding your dad than we were the day I met you, so I imagine I’ll be around for a little while longer. I’d rather us not fight the whole time. It’s getting exhausting, if I’m being honest.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I guess we can do that.”

“Okay, then.” You cleared your throat and stuck out your hand. “Hi. I’m (Y/N).”

Dean shook his head at your antics despite the smile pulling on his lips. “Dean.” This time, he actually shook your hand.

***

Later that morning, you and Dean had returned to the car for weapons. Thankfully, Dean still had some silver bullets left in the trunk. With guns in hand, the two of you headed back to the sewers. A few minutes into your walk, you came across a rancid pile of flesh, teeth, and fingernails.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Your face contorted in disgust. You looked up when you heard a rustling noise a little down the tunnel. You could see a dim glow from the place you’d heard the rustling. You tightened your grip on your gun and let Dean lead the way into the chamber. He nodded his head in the direction of the left side of a figure covered in a tarp at the back end of the chamber, indicating for you to go that way. You followed his instruction and crept up on the figure with him. He pulled the sheet away from the figure, only to reveal Rebecca.

“What happened?” you asked her. Her hands and feet were bound, her mouth was gagged, her hair was a mess, and her skin was littered with bruising and cuts.

She was still shaking and crying as she spoke. “I was walking home, and everything just went white. Someone hit me over the head, and I wound up here just in time to see that thing turn into me. I don’t know, how is that even possible?”

“Okay, okay. It’s okay,” Dean told her.

The two of you untied her and made sure she was able to walk before guiding her out of the sewers.

“We’ve gotta hurry,” Dean said. “Sam went to see you.”

When you got to Rebecca’s house, all you could hear was the grunting, furniture breaking, skin hitting skin, and bones cracking coming from the living room. And then, choking. You had no doubt it was Sam.

Dean seemed to pick up on that as well. He hurried into the den, shouting, “Hey!”

The shifter spotted Dean and got off of Sam. Dean shot twice, and with that, the shifter was dead.

You rushed over to Sam and cradled his head in your lap. “Are you okay?” you asked him.

He smiled painfully at you. “Peachy.”

You giggled at him. You looked up at Dean standing over… Dean… and watched as he ripped his necklace off the shifter.

You watched Rebecca say goodbye to Sam, and she waved at you and Dean who stood by the Impala. She turned to go back inside her house.

Sam approached the two of you.

“So, what about your friend, Zack?” Dean asked his brother.

“Cops are blamin’ this Dean Winchester guy for Emily’s murder,” Sam jested. “They found the murder weapon in the guy’s lair, Zack’s clothes stained with her blood. Now they’re thinking maybe the surveillance tape was tampered with. Yeah, Becca says Zack will be released soon.”

You giggled. Dean just rolled his eyes.

“Get in the car, (Y/N),” he chastised you. For the first time since you met him, you knew he wasn’t trying to tear you down. It was refreshing to have an amicable relationship with him.

As Dean tore down the road, he turned to his brother. “Sorry, man.”

“About what?”

“I really wish things could be different, you know?” the older brother said earnestly. “I wish you could just be… Joe College.”

“No, that’s okay. You know, the truth is, even at Stanford, deep down, I never really fit in,” Sam admitted.

“Well, that’s ‘cause you’re a freak,” Dean quipped.

You loved earnest moments between the two brothers. It made you feel normal; in a weird way.

“Yeah, thanks,” Sam said dryly.

“Well, I’m a freak, too. I’m right there with ya, all the way.”

“Yeah, I know you are.” Sam’s voice softened.

“You know, I gotta say. I’m sorry I’m gonna miss it.”

You felt one of Dean’s stupid jokes coming on. “Oh, here we go.”

He eyed you in the rearview mirror.

“Miss what?” Sam asked.

“How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?” Dean smirked.

You shook your head. “And there it is.”

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @iloveshawn @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle

#dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x y/n #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x y/n #dean x you #dean winchester #supernatural #spn #supernatural series rewrite #spn series rewrite

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bonzos-number-1-fan · 2 months

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TMAGP 8 Thoughts: Older Friends

Plenty of things to talk about here but very little reason for a preamble, so spoilers for episode 8 and TMA below the cut.

Okay, so first things first this one launches straight into the case. As incidents go this isn't particularly strange but does emphasise some reoccurring themes we've seen in prior statements. Notably there is a much bigger prevalence on altered spaces, and manifestations that don't neatly fit into Smirke's 14. As I may have mentioned in these posts before it seems like the Fears, or Fear equivalents, in TMP are much more capable of altering the physical world here. The current idea is that its because they're the TMA Fears in some capacity and the successful completion of "The Magnus Archives" dragged them into the physical reality of TMA and even though they were ejected from it they've maintained some capacity to influence the mundane world. Although it will be interesting to see if there emerges a clear separation between what's a manifestation of TMP's native entities (if they exist), and what's a manifestation of the TMA fears. With last episodes Hilltop escapade it's fairly hard to argue that they're not around in some form.

Alice and Gwen hate each other. More at eleven.

Okay, so this next bit will be the thing for this episode. Sam and Celia go visit Gerry to have a chat about the Magnus Institute. This isn't super surprising all in all. I've been expecting it for a few episodes. Gerry was in the same database Sam was that we got in the ARG. So the cameo is fun but not super important as far as new information goes from my PoV. Gerry does seem a lot more chipper this time around so that's always nice.

What I wasn't expecting, and what I doubt any one else was expecting, is a cameo from Gertrude. Her appearance is also much more interesting narratively. We don't know how close these universes really are to each other. Do alternate versions of the same character end up in similar places? Do they pursue similar goals? Because just from this episode, and some light conjecture about the nature of the multiverse, it's very plausible that Gertrude burned down the Institute in this universe. Gertrude and Gerry ended up close in TMA and have ended up close in TMP too. While she wasn't exactly parental in TMA she did at least get him away from his family there. It's not too much of an assumption to make that something similar has happened here. Connect that to the psychological testing the Institute was doing on children, and specifically Gerry, and it's not a big leap to assume that's why the Institute burned down. Different reasoning for it happening but the same cogs in the same machine. What's more interesting here than just that idea that she did the same thing in both universes is that this time she was successful. The reason she failed last time, Elias/Jonah, might not have been in play this time around.

It's also important to note that this could very well be the name and address Sam got emailed to him via John last episode.

The other big thing here is Georgie getting mentioned, specifically in context to her podcast, and more specifically in context to Celia's research into alternate dimensions and time travel. Because there are a few distinct possibilities here. However, I think the most likely one is that Georgie and Celia are both from TMA's universe and that they've gone through together for the same purposes. But it's hard to say too too much about it as of yet given how it's all left off. I think the stuff with the podcast and the like is probably part of establishing themselves in this universe rather than Celia looking into TMP Georgie and then guesting on the podcast. Who knows though.

DPHW Theory: 3366 is a pretty normal DPHW for this sort of thing. You've got some spooky cannibal types but they're more remarkable for what they're not than what they are and what they're not is normal.

CAT#R# Theory: CAT2RBC doesn't really mean anything more than any of the others. But at this point I do feel there should be enough to make a few stabs at what these things could mean. I haven't as of yet sat down to theorycraft so no new updates in this post but if I come up with something I'll post it in the next one, or in a standalone post if it's very compelling.

Header talk: Architecture (liminal) -/- hunger isn't super interesting on its own IMO. What is interesting is how it makes zero references to any of the monsters in this one. The incident is classified solely in respect to its architecture and not what inhabited said architecture. The mention of hunger is interesting to me, personally, because I've seen a few assertions that Hunger/Hunger is the more likely pick for the H in DPHW. I didn't think it tracked well before this but with hunger being used as a crosslink I think it's even less likely now.

This episode shows the limitations of the OIAR's methodology really well. The header is Architecture (liminal) -/- hunger, and doesn't mention anything about the uncannybals (like uncanny, i.e. the valley but they eat people). There are seemingly two distinct things, connected via a hunger, were happening here but you can only file it under one and we know that the section and subsection you choose dictates the DPHW so the spooky monsters don't appear to be a factor here at all which is why it's got a lower DP than you'd normally expect.

#the magnus protocol #tmagp speculation #tmagp theory #tmagp #klaus = kl4-u5

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moonsanoverthinker · 2 months

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MAGNUS PROTOCOL EPISODE 7 SPOILERS

Here’s a series of thoughts I had while listening to episode 7 (I’m loosing my mind and these are the most random thoughts!)

I’ll stick them under the cut just incase people haven’t got to it yet! <3

Also edit: I’ve seen things about how these dots were too easy to connect and that theory makes sense. Now questioning are the dots easy to connect because they were supposed to be followed or are they easy so we all go on a goose chase…

Celia why are you mentioning the tape recorders…

“Spoken cases have anything in common” What like one specific voice reading about loosing loved ones? Or the one where the horrors follow people? Or the need for power and to be recognised? OR THE ONE ABOUT THE INSTITUTE?

Celia, dear, why are you asking about flesh and being buried alive? (The Flesh and The Buried perhaps…)

WHAT DO YOU MEAN HILLTOP CENTRE

Is Mr C.Clayton dead? Or is there just something pretending to be him?

“It’s all for a good cause” I’m sure it is!

Also random thought most of this takes place in 2015 which lines up with series 1 of TMA (this more than likely means nothing just thought about it)

Right time to start noting every single item down!

Also isn’t this how Breekon and Hope took over that guys removal business?

Those new worker 🤝Mikaele Salesa 🤝ton of weird objects that may or may not be spooky

Mmm yep those descriptions are fucking awful thanks for that!

Is the man in black clothing a friend or a foe I wonder?

Feeling very Stranger coded this one (I know the fears might not be a thing in this universe but still)

“The voice threw me” DID IT NOW CELIA, SOUNDING FAMILIAR IS IT?

“Whiny little toad” Wonder who wrote that…

“Do you know who voices Chester?” They don’t but you might Celia

“Doesn’t matter. I’m sure it wasn’t anyone important” CELIA. 1. It does matter. 2.NO

COLINS ALIVE!

Johns learnt how to send emails then?

Or is it John or Jon? Are we getting Michealed or this is him?

Was the random name Sims, Sam?

“The real stuff” What is the real stuff? Is what they look at not the real stuff…

“It’s already recorded too…” Colin. What does this mean. Are the horrors listening? Perhaps some might say waiting?

Lena and Gwen! That’s it that’s the thought.

“It’s really quite amusing actually” “Trust me” GOD GWEN. Is she from the violent side of the family? Or the Elias before the horrors side?

“Most people would consider directly confronting me like this a rather foolish idea” Why’s that Lena…

“According to my source” Gwen how did find the source? Family connections?

“Maybe with your job” GO OFF GWEN

“I am not a wealthy woman, certainly not compared to your own family” Every episode I am getting more convinced she is directly related to Elias OR she is the non-Jonah version of Elias and is just cut throat?

“I want ‘in’” WHAT IS ‘IN’

“Step up too the real work” Is…is this not the real work. More horrors await I assume?

“I hope you’re ready for it as you think you are. Consider yourself ‘in’” This will either go splendidly and in Gwens favour or everything is going to be awful! (For now I’m going to assume awful)

#the magnus protocol #tmagp #tmagp spoilers #this episode had me talking out everything to no one at all!

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whynotlol9 · 2 months

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Thoughts on tmagp 7. What an absolutely insane episode! Just as I thought that we got very little of lore in earlier eps, here we got an avalanche of information! SPOILERS 1. Celia. Wow, she really knows something! Meat, creepy statements and four weirdos in a basements, tape recorders and manilla folders?! And she recognised Jon’s voice, paid a lot of attention to voiced statements and is really interested in a search function - she is on a mission to find something. And there are so many quiestion:

Is she maybe somehow jumped dimensions and she is the original Celia?

Did she hear our original Jon’s voice? Do they have a Tma podcast there? Did she find some of Jon’s tapes? Or did she hear the voice of their worlds Jon, maybe there he is someone really some voice actor? I wonder would she also recognise Martins voice? She was really interested in THREE voices

2. Case is very interesting! Elements of buried etc but the most important part. Man in all black and those gunshots? Is it that group Starkwall? It looks like they are a cover group trying to eliminate those incidents, and oiar might be monitoring it and alerting them. They are like the Foundation with scp, but maybe more like secure contain and eliminate? Sounds cool

3. is Lena working with them or does she have another agenda? in transcripts it says younger Lena, how long ago did she try to kill Klaus? 4. I wonder what will gwen do now. Real job, on the outside. She really in ambitious :D I feel like freddie/chester/norris tried to warn her but she decided to jump into this. Or another idea - they want her to in investigate this stuff and know more themselves

5. Dam, Sam. Email from JOHN? I’m dying! I want to know more and so does Sam. Colin is very good at going silent mode - how many episodes we didn’t hear from him? So yes I’m glad Sam went there being a bit stupid, he didn’t deserve being beaten a bit but it was for a good cause :D

also Colin knows about real stuff. 6. HILLTOP! AAAAA WHAT DOES THAT ALL MEAN! ONCE AGAIN the epicentre of all fucked up things small things:

Alice, I love you, but don’t you dare insult my boy Martin’s voice! Who is listening once again. I thought maybe this government department overseeing oiar is checking on them. But no, this way they would know that Lena didn’t kill Klaus, so once again I think it’s freddie/chester/noris etc

and once again I truly believe in Lena. At first I was like oh no Elias the second but now, I like her and believe that she has good motives (absolutely ipunrelated, but what is a ship name for Lena and Gwen?)

#tmapg #tmagp theory #tmagp spoilers

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queen-of-deans-booty · 1 year

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The Great Escape: Part One

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Warnings: canon angst and violence

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Any and all comments on these are appreciated.

The search for Kevin has lasted a whole month, and it's still going. No one has seen him, heard from him, and his GPS signal isn't giving anything off. He either must have turned it off or he's not on Earth. It's crazy to think that he's not on Earth, but there is a very possible idea that Crowley took him.

Maybe it wasn't all in Kevin's head.

You haven't brought this up with the brothers because you have other things on your mind. Like Robert. You're standing outside of his door yet again, but you can't seem to go inside.

"You need to let it in," Dean says from the left of you.

It takes a moment or two for you to respond, and when you do, your voice is beyond sad.

"Do you remember what it was like for me when my dad died? I turned my back on my family and Joanna when you and she needed me the most." You turn to Dean with a sad look in your eyes. "I can't afford to do that again. We have two children now; I don't get the chance to break down. Our kids deserve more than a mother who is a crying mess on the floor. It's gonna hurt if I let it in."

"It's going to hurt more if you don't," Dean sighs.

"I don't care. You of all people should at least understand that."

You leave Dean's side and head to the library where Sam is. He is looking worse by the minute, and you can't do anything about it. This isn't something that can be fixed with soup and fever medicine. Sam should take a step back from the trials, but then you won't be able to close the Gates of Hell.

It's too late for you or Dean to start the trials over.

Dean heads to the kitchen to make soup for Sam even though it may not help. Joanna is eating her breakfast at the same table Sam is sitting at, and Maryann is in her baby swing on the floor. Joanna placed her lucky blanket over Sam's shoulder, and he hasn't removed it since it feels warm.

Dean enters moments later with a tray of food in his hands.

"Alright, here we go. John Winchester's famous cure-all kitchen sink stew. There's enough cayenne pepper in there to burn your lips off, just like Dad used to make."

Sam pushes the tray of food away, but you're not having it.

"Sam, eat the damn food. It's been three days since you last ate. Stop being a baby."

"Yeah, mister," Joanna scowls at her uncle. "Eat your food."

Sam stares at her before dragging the tray of food to him. He takes a bite and relishes the taste of it. Before you know it, it's all gone.

"The bloody handkerchiefs, the fever, and the shaky legs... This is not good," Dean sighs.

"Well, I'm not good, and I'm not going to be good until we can start moving again. Until I can start the third trial."

"Trial? I wouldn't let you start a moped. We're on the rails with this thing, okay, and the only way out of it is through it, believe me, I know. You know how bad I wanna slam the door on all those sons of bitches, but you gotta let me and Y/N take care of you, man. You gotta let us help you get your strength back."

"He's right, Sam."

"This isn't a cold or a fever or whatever it is you're supposed to feed. This is part of it all. Those first two trials are not just things I did. They're doing something to me. They're changing me, Dean."

Sam's laptop makes a noise signaling he got a new email.

"It's from Kevin."

"Thank God," you whisper.

Sam opens Kevin's message with the subject line "WATCH THIS VIDEO NOW". He clicks on the link and it's a video of Kevin inside Garth's houseboat before he disappeared, obviously.

"Sam, Dean, Y/N. I've set up this message with some software on a remote server so it'd send itself to you if I didn't reset it with a command once a week. Which means I didn't reset it this week, and there's only one reason I wouldn't. Which means if you're watching this, then I... I'm dead. I'm dead, you bastards! So screw you, screw God and everybody in between!" Kevin takes a breath or two before continuing. "Crowley must've gotten to me, and the one thing I know is that I won't break this time. Not sure how I know, but I do. I've been uploading all my notes and the translations, and I'm sending you the links so you can get all of it. You guys are gonna have to try to figure out the rest. I'm sorry." Tears ghost in his eyes. "I know it was my job, but I couldn't... I'm sorry."

The video ends, and your heart hurts for Kevin who you brought into this life. He was perfectly fine at college, and you sucked him in. Tears of your own fall for Kevin, but Dean is the most pissed out of the three of you.

He angrily swipes a stack of books off the other table, scaring Joanna and Maryann.

"Damn it!" he yells.

Dean leaves without another word, and you know he needs to take a walk and calm down.

"Mama? Is Daddy okay?" Joanna asks.

"Daddy's fine. Just finish eating your food."

Sam prints off everything Kevin sent over, and it's enough to cover every inch of the entire library table. Dean comes back an hour later on the phone with someone.

"Yeah, I know you haven't seen him, Keel, nobody has. Well, if you talk to Garth, just have him call in."

"Is Garth still MIA?" you ask.

"Yeah."

"How about the other prophets in line? I mean if Kevin is dead, then won't one of them be activated?"

"Not a peep."

"Isn't that a good thing? If there is no news of a new prophet, then Kevin isn't dead. Kevin turned into one because Chuck died. It happened immediately. We'd hear news of a new prophet, so Kevin must not be dead," you kept the hope.

"You saw the message, Y/N."

"That doesn't mean anything. All that means is that he couldn't reset the software. Crowley took him, I just know it."

"Regardless, here we are. No lead and no tablet. We should've moved him here."

Kevin's notes must have something here, so you have to go over every inch of them until you find something you can use.

"There it is again, every time," Sam mutters to himself. He holds up a few papers with the same symbol on it. "I know this symbol. Now, Kevin has it down as sort of like a signature for the Scribe of God. It appears every time Metatron makes one of his, like, editor's notes."

Metatron was discovered when you first encountered Kevin Tran in the hospital with Castiel after he took Sam's pain away from the wall cracking in his head.

"I think I've seen it before. I mean, it was a long time ago. It was one of my humanities courses at Stanford."

"They taught the Word of God at Stanford?" you chuckle.

"No, it was an overview of Native American art. I think it's a petroglyph.

A petroglyph is a rock carving. People would carve images into rock using a stone chisel.

"This one belonged to a tiny tribe in Colorado. It says here they held onto their scrap of mountains when all the other tribes fell to the white men. This glyph was a territorial marker with the closest translation being: 'messenger of God'." Sam takes a moment to think about what he just said and gets excited. "Guys, we have to go there!"

"On that hunch? You can barely function," Dean shakes his head.

"I'm only gonna get worse. I mean, until we get back to the real job, until we find the third trial, we're out of prophets! We're not gonna figure out what Kevin couldn't! I'd say we go to this messenger of God who wrote it in the first place!"

"He does have a point," you side with Sam.

"You think this Metatron is hiding out in the mountains with a bunch of Native Americans?" Dean scoffs.

"Yeah! Yeah, I do."

"It doesn't hurt to look," you shrug.

"Whatever."

Dean slams his book shut and leaves the library to get the car ready. You get the kids ready whileSam tries to get himself ready. Zeus is going to stay behind again, but you make sure he has enough water and food to last you however long this trip will take. It takes all of thirty minutes to get ready and all of eleven hours to travel to New Mexico where this "Messenger of God" is supposedly hiding.

You three walk inside with Joanna walking next to Dean and Maryann in her stroller. There is a bell on the desk that you ring, and moments later, the hotel clerk walks out from the back room.

"Hello, we'd like a room, please. Preferably with two rooms."

Sam wanders the front lobby, but he doesn't look too good. He flinches as if he hears a loud noise, but there isn't anything that is making a loud enough noise to flunch from.

"Did you hear that?" Sam asks you and Dean.

"Hear what?" you whisper to him.

"He has the flu," Dean chuckles at the clerk, taking the keys from him.

After getting your room assigned to you, you three head over to the room on the first floor. Sam immediately grabs a bottle of water from the fridge and sits down on one of the beds.

"Mama, I'm hungry," Joanna whines.

"Okay, eat this. We'll get more food later."

You reach into your bag and hand her one of her snacks, but she throws it on the ground and it goes everywhere.

"No, I don't want that!"

"That is not how you behave. You're in time-out. Go sit in the corner," you say sternly.

"Daddy!"

"You heard your mother."

Joanna whines but does what she's told. She sits in the corner and pouts. You use your magic to clean up the mess, then you grab Maryann since it's time to feed her. You have formula to use since all of your bottled breast milk is in the freezer back home. You settle into the sofa chair when you see Joanna start to move from her spot. Dean leaves to check out the hotel while you feed your daughter.

"Joanna Beth Winchester. Stay where you are."

"We're the only guests in this whole place," Dean says when he returns. "The last entry in the registry was in '06."

"Hey, do you two remember when Dad took us to the bottom of the Grand Canyon, on that pack-mule ride?" Sam smirks. "You're, uh, mule kept farting, just— l-letting go."

"Dude, you were like, four years old. I barely remember that," Dean scoffs.

"You rode a farty donkey," Sam laughs.

He is definitely delirious, you'll give him that.

"Okay. Y/N and I are gonna go check out the Two Rivers Tribal Museum and Trading Post."

"Yeah! I'm gonna follow the hotel manager, Dr. Scowley-scowl. He's like a villain from Scooby-Doo," Sam giggles.

"Okay, you're staying here and getting some sleep."

"Yeah, I can do that too."

Sam falls onto the bed and is quick to sleep.

"We're not leaving our kids with him. We're taking them with us. Joanna, are you ready to come out of your time-out?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to throw another tantrum?"

"No."

"Come on.

You and Dean get the girls ready and head over to the Museum where the clerk is more than happy to talk about the Native American history.

"The people of the Two Rivers tribe came to this land centuries ago. A land that was harsh and stony, but the mighty leader told his people that they must stay here. He claimed that this was the home on Earth of the great spirit's sacred messenger, and that if they'd make offerings, their blessings would be many."

"What were the offerings?" you ask. "What did the great spirit's sacred messenger ask for?"

"Stories. He asked the people to tell him stories."

You're about to ask another question when your phone rings. Sam is calling, and you pick up immediately.

"Sam? Are you okay?" However, you don't hear anything on his end. "Sam? Are you there?" You look at Dean and shake your head. Something is wrong. "Excuse me. We need to be going. Thank you for your time."

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

#dean winchester #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #supernatural fiction #supernatural fan fiction #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fan fic #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fanfic #spn #spn fic #spn fiction

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sarah-dipitous · 1 year

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 1

It begins

“Pilot”

Man, not to bring my hero academia immediately into my viewing of supernatural, but is Dean proof that even if Touya had been able to follow in his dad’s footsteps, he still would never feel like he was enough??

“I swore I was done with hunting for good” oh. Oh, Sammy. You poor naive young man. You’ve got fifteen years of this ahead of you

(I’m literally not going to be able to watch this as NOT a todobros au, huh. Haven’t decided if I’m mad about it, though. The whole exchange about 9yo Sam telling their dad he was afraid of the dark? So John gave him a 45? Tell me that’s not a “he’s already 5, he can take it”)

Dude, the guy this ghost lady picked up is a total ass, but can you imagine deciding to cheat on your girlfriend and the girl you wanna cheat with takes you to a CLEARLY long abandoned house?? Power fucking mood

Ok I did right by myself deciding to watch Doctor Who second because I fucking hate jumpscares and we’re in the VERY monster of the week era

I will say the tension of “kid who did once know, however briefly, a happy family life” vs “kid who’s trying to get out from their constantly, almost since birth, family life” is really good in this episode.

Also that Dean just FULLY threw himself off that bridge? It’s…it sure is something compared to Sam hanging on to the ledge for dear life. It says something

(There’s these guitar licks that play every once in a while that make me think I’m gonna be watching a Home Depot commercial or one of those fake large truck commercials tiktokers sometimes do…..which is fitting but it’s still really funny)

Girlie, I don’t think you can call Sam unfaithful in his relationship if you force yourself on him…play by your own rules, love.

Ghost kids are creepy af, aaaaaaaand the VERY 2005 special effects. Brilliant. Love it.

Oh poor Jessica’s about to get got…but also how did Dean know to come back? He drove away?!

All in all, aside from fridging two women in the pilot, it’s a solid episode

“Rose”

That post about old new who having such realistic settings for the companion’s home is so real…Rose’s room is EXTREMELY 2005

Nah, because why are they preparing me for a jumpscare too???? Y’all I’m so easily scared lmaooo

But now nine is here telling her to run so all is good in the world

Nine didn’t get enough appreciation in his time. I know we all love him now but…I definitely was more meh 10 years ago

Jackie Tyler is an icon. And BRUTAL. She really just told her daughter there’s no point in getting up today due to Rose’s job being burnt to the ground

And her flirting with the doctor I caaaannooooot she’s amazing “I’m in my dressing gown” “yep” “there’s a strange man in my bedroom” “yep” “well….anything could happen” “no!” You KNOW Jackie’s read all the cheap and twisty romance novels she could get her hands on

Rose gets a Shigaraki moment

Ok it’s 2005, what is in Mickey’s emails that he’s worried about?? I mean, could just be a general privacy thing but still

How come there aren’t more people like Clive in this show? If I remember correctly, later on people are just like “ah yes, our favorite time traveling alien, The Doctor. This is normal”

The makeup job they did on plastic Mickey is just the right amount of creepy

I forgot how much running through the back halls and rooms of shops and whatnot there was

I’m also loving the tension of The Doctor loves humanity but constantly forgets Mickey’s existence so much so that Rose has to call him out on it. The greater good vs very real human people aspect is a good tension for The Doctor and their companion to have. It’s part of what also made Ten and Donna so good, especially in episodes like The Fires of Pompeii

Oh the warm fuzzy feeling of seeing Nine smile and say “Fantastic!”

Clive didn’t deserve that, man!!

(Watching Jackie get almost attacked by the bridal mannequins, I’m also thinking about how Donna been somehow oblivious to this)

Mickey’s fears and suspicions about The Doctor are completely understandable, rational, and valid given all he went through in this episode. Man was kidnapped and copied by another alien who wanted to devour his entire planet, basically. And I hate how he gets treated by the narrative. That said, watching Rose run toward the TARDIS at the end is everything

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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masterofmunson · 3 years

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look after you (1)

TFATWS Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sam asks you to join him and Bucky on a mission in Madripoor. When you get injured, Bucky feels the need to remind you more than once that he’s supposed to look after you now that Steve’s gone.

Warnings: tfatws spoilers, language, violence, blood, grief, angst, major pining

Word Count: 6k+

Author’s Note: Here she is!! I’m really excited to see what you guys think! This is my first Bucky fic in AGES! I decided to make this into a mini series since this fic is so long haha. Please let me know what you think. Comments, reblogs, and asks are highly encouraged and appreciated! Enjoy!

You hadn’t seen Sam or Bucky in several weeks. You were still adjusting to life post-blip. It had been a long five years for you and just seconds for them. You were no longer the bright-eyed and bushy tailed recruit. You’d grown into your position amongst the established and experienced Avengers. Now, it meant nothing.

Tony’s gone. Steve’s dead, Natasha too. The Avengers had officially disbanded. You felt lost and confused, still blinded by your grief over losing them. You had nowhere to go, so you just floated from place to place as needed.

You were laying low and a shell of the person you once were. You had no one to look towards anymore. Bucky went his separate ways and got some sort of footing in New York City with the pardon he was given by the government since his return to the states. You checked in every now and then with him, but you didn’t want to slow down his progress so you distanced yourself from him.

You know he feels some sort of responsibility towards you. Steve did too, and you suppose now that he’s gone, Bucky feels the need to take his place. It doesn’t matter that you’re no longer the naive 23 year old he met in Berlin all those years ago. It doesn’t matter that there was something lingering between the two of you before he turned to ash. You’re a grown woman now and war and politics has hardened your soul.

He needs to move on from you. The version he has of you in his head is gone, dead. He wants a fresh start, and you can’t give it to him.

Sam checks in with you once in a while. He asks you how you’re doing and you respond the same each time. “Same shit, different day,” you laughed lightly.

He knows better than to ask you to join him on his missions with the military. You’re not in the right headspace to return to the field, least of all if it meant that you were representing the US government wherever the fight was.

Now that John Walker has the shield and has been branded the new Captain America, it gives you all the more reason to stay away. If he had so much as just breathed in your direction, you’d kill him and rip the shield from his grasp and return it to Sam.

You ignored all emails and phone calls that had to do with John Walker. He wanted your blessing on live television, as if that meant anything. Yes, you were close with Steve, but you’re not an original Avenger. You just caught his eye during training one day and he took you under his wing. John Walker just wanted to create a bridge between the two of you since Sam and Bucky were obviously out of the question.

You were the first person Sam called when he told you he was giving up the shield. You didn’t ask why. You knew he had his reasons and you respected him to accept that whatever the reasons were, they were good enough.

So, when Sam called in the middle of the night, you picked up the phone without a second thought. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you sit up and fumble for the light on the nightstand beside you.

“Sam? You do realize it’s three in the morning, right?” you asked, yawning into your phone.

Sam curses in your ear and apologizes quietly. “Sorry. You would think with all this traveling, I’d remember time zones are a thing,” he laughed softly.

“What is it, Sam?”

“We’re in a bit of a tight spot. We could use your help.”

Your brows pinch together. “Who’s we, Sam?”

“Me and Barnes.”

Your heart jumps inside your throat. How the hell did Sam manage to rope Bucky into whatever he’s doing? The last you heard, Bucky wasn’t allowed to go on government missions until his therapist thought he made enough progress to do so. You know he’s nowhere near the progress he wants to be, so how is he with Sam?

“Jesus, Sam. You know he’s not in the right headspace to go on missions!” There’s a heavy pause between the two of you before you relent. “Where am I meeting you?”

“Latvia. I’ll fill you in when you get here.”

You hang up quickly and hurry out of bed. After so many years of getting up at odd hours for emergency missions and the like, you’re not surprised that Sam asked you to meet him in the middle of the night. You grab your duffle bag and stuff all your belongings back inside. You travel lightly, and now it definitely seemed to work out in your favor.

You’ve spent the last couple of weeks in a small town just outside of Helena, Montana. It’s nice and quiet and you’ve really taken the time to reflect on your life since things started going back to normal post-blip. The locals are nice and hospitable, and no one asks you about Steve, Tony, or what you thought of John Walker. You hope it had something to do with the fact that they didn’t know who you were. You certainly hoped that was the case. You’ve kept your head down and tried your best to blend in.

You go hiking quite frequently and take drives through the mountains. It’s nice and relaxing, a far cry from what you’re used to. You’ll definitely miss it, and you have second thoughts about meeting up with Sam, but you push them away. Steve abandoned you both, and you wouldn’t do that to him.

It takes you several hours to get to the closest international airport and by the time you arrive, the sun begins to rise in the distance. You hurry through the airport security and send Sam a quick update that you’re about to board your flight before you settle in your seat and fall back asleep.

....

You sleep through the entire flight. You blame it on your ability to sleep anywhere due to the number of missions you have under your belt. You’re wide awake when the plane lands and you’re quick to pull out your phone and send a message to Sam that you’ve made it safe and sound to Latvia.

Your legs are stiff and sore when you stand up for the first time when it’s time to leave. You pull your duffle bag from the overhead compartment and slowly make your way to the front. It takes you nearly an hour to get through customs and now you’re just anxiously waiting to see Sam.

When you see him waiting for you at the baggage claim area, you grin as your eyes meet. You hurry over to him and drop your duffle bag to the floor as he pulls you in for a hug. It’s warm and tight and it’s exactly what you need. Sam pulls away first and reaches for your bag, throwing an arm over your shoulder as you walk out of the airport to his car.

You stop walking when you notice two figures near a very fancy yellow car as you and Sam near them. Sam keeps walking and you take slow, tentative steps. You know one of the figures has to be Bucky, but Sam never mentioned a third person.

“Sam, I thought you said that it was just you and Bucky,” you said cautiously.

Sam stops in his tracks and lets out a nervous chuckle and scratches the back of his head. It makes your heart race and you swallow the lump in your throat as they begin to come into focus as they near the two of you. “Y/n, before you get angry, I just need you to know that this wasn’t my idea. Believe me when I tell you that he is the last person we would ask for help,” Sam replied as his eyes went from you to the two people approaching.

“Who is he?” you asked through gritted teeth.

“Ah! Y/n, good to know that your flight went rather smoothly. It is good to see you again.”

No. There’s no way. You must be dreaming. Hemlut Zemo is not standing right in front of you. He is in prison. He is behind bars for the crimes he committed. The two men that you're closest to wouldn’t jailbreak someone as atrocious as Zemo. There has to be an explanation. It doesn’t make sense.

“What the fuck is Zemo doing out of prison?!” you hissed, looking between Bucky and Sam, demanding an explanation.

“Y/n, honey, I can explain, just please get in the car,” Bucky pleaded, reaching out to touch your hand.

You glare at him and take a step back. “Are you out of your mind, Bucky? You break him out of jail because you need him, is that it? Do you remember what he did to you, because I certainly do!”

Bucky frowns and lets out a deep and heavy sigh. He looks over at Sam. “Did you fill her in at all?”

“No!” you shouted. “I can speak for myself, James! Someone better start talking and tell me what the hell is going on!”

“We don’t really have time for this right now,” Zemo interrupts, “we really must be going. I’m sure Sam and James can fill you in in the car.”

You glare at the Sokovian terrorist and snap at him. “Shut your mouth, Zemo.”

He raises his hands up in surrender and takes a step back. Bucky towers over you and this time you let him take your hand. He squeezes it gently and pulls you into his chest, hugging you tightly. You’re tense and fuming as he holds you.

His mouth finds the shell of your ear and despite the wave of anger flowing through your body, it sends a shiver down your spine. Bucky whispers, “I hate to say it, but Zemo’s right. We have to go. I’ll explain on the way, I promise.”

You huff childishly and turn your head away from him as he kisses your temple. “Fine. If he steps out of line, I’ll kill him.”

Bucky laughs and takes your hand and walks you to the car. “Get in line, honey. Sam and I have first dibs.”

You resist the urge to smile and Bucky opens the door for you as Sam tosses your bag in the trunk and climbs into the front seat. Bucky slides in beside you and he tells you everything.

He tells you about their first encounter with the Flag Smashers. He tells you about how the leader and a few of her followers have taken a newer version of the serum that runs through his veins. He tells you that she plans on giving the serum to more people to build an army and that you have to stop her.

It makes your heart stop. You hadn’t really been keeping tabs on the Flag Smashers. Now, looking back, you probably should have. There’s still a lot of unknown variables to account for and it looks like the boys are taking it one step at a time, and apparently it starts with a trip to Madripoor. Zemo chimes in every now and then as he drives and it makes your blood boil that you’re forced to listen to what he has to say. You hate that he has the upper hand and is keeping valuable information hostage. You want to strangle him.

After a while, Zemo pulls into a private airport. Bucky helps you out of the car and grabs your bag from the trunk as the four of you walk towards the jet just off the runway. You had no idea just how rich Zemo was. Now that he’s out of prison, for now at least, his arrogance returned back in full force in addition to his pompous attitude.

You board the plane in silence, ignoring every word coming out of the Baron’s mouth. You settle in the back of the plane and ignore Bucky’s stares as you look out the window. You’re too angry to engage in conversation. You don’t care that Zemo insults Steve’s legacy. He’s gone, dead, what do you care? Yes, you wanted Steve to be happy, but he abandoned you. He abandoned Sam and Bucky.

Zemo rambles on and on. “People like Steve become symbols, icons. Then we start to forget about their flaws. From there, cities fly, innocent people die. Movements are formed, wars are fought,” he turns to address Bucky directly. “You remember that, right? As a young soldier sent to Germany to stop a mad icon. Do we want to live in a world full of people like the Red Skull?”

Silence fills the space and for a moment, you feel a reprieve. That was until Zemo mentioned the Winter Soldier.

“We can’t go into Madripoor as ourselves. James, you will have to become someone you claim is gone.”

You immediately stand up and protest, storming to the front of the plane. “No. Absolutely not. I won’t let you use Bucky, not again. There has to be another way.”

Zemo clicks his tongue at you and shakes his head. A smug graces his features and you lung at him, wrapping your hands around his throat. “I’ll fucking kill you!”

Bucky leaps to his feet and tears you off of Zemo, dragging you to the back of the plane behind the curtains to give the two of you an illusion of privacy. Your shoulders shake with rage and Bucky’s hands caress your face.

“You can’t be him. He’s not you anymore. You don’t have to do this, Bucky. Please,” you begged, clinging to his hands. “I can’t let Zemo control you again.”

Bucky’s touched with how protective you are over him. He pulls you closer and hugs you tightly against him. Your fingers grip the back of his shirt and he presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head.

“Honey,” he whispered. “I have to. I have to do this so we can stop the Flag Smashers from getting the serum. It’s for the mission.”

You huffed against his chest. Now you’re really regretting your decision to help Sam. You would’ve said no if you had known that it meant watching Bucky turn into the Winter Soldier again, even if it wasn’t real.

You don’t know what to say. He won’t change his mind. Bucky’s just as stubborn as you are and he’ll do anything for the success of the mission, just like Steve did.

You pull away and return back to your seat, crossing your arms over your chest as you stare into the back of Zemo’s plush leather seat. Bucky trails behind you and squeezes your shoulder. You shrug off his touch as he takes the empty seat next to yours.

“And, I’m afraid that where we’re going doesn’t take too kindly to women who are…. how do I put this…. strong willed,” Zemo said.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Bucky barked, jumping to your defense just moments after you did the same for him.

“Selby will see Y/n as competition. We can’t have that happen. She’ll have to stay behind.”

“You’re out of your mind if you think I’m just going to just sit here and do nothing,” you snapped. “I’m coming with. I don’t care if I have to pretend to be meek.”

Zemo turns to look at you. He’s challenging you. You both know it. He’s pushing your buttons and it’s working. He smirks and leans against the armchair. His eyebrows raise and he asks, “Even if it means pretending to be a prostitute?”

Your gaze doesn’t falter and you ignore both Sam’s and Bucky’s protests. It falls on deaf ears. You don’t care, as long as you’re with Sam and Bucky and they’re safe. “Yes,” you answered without a second thought. You’ve done worse things than pretend to be a sex worker. It would be a piece of cake.

Zemo grins, letting out a soft laugh. “It looks like you’ll be joining us after all then, Y/n.”

You scoff at him and look out the window. Bucky drags you from your seat once more and pulls you behind the curtain. You look away from him and he reaches to squeeze your hand.

“You don’t have to do this. You have nothing to prove,” he whispered, brushing the top of your palm with his warm and calloused fingers.

“You don’t either,” you mumbled back.

He smiles softly at your retort and pulls you into his arms. He holds you gently and cards his fingers through your hair. You hum quietly as he holds you.

“Touché, honey.”

There’s a beat of silence between the two of you before you lean back to meet his gaze. His blue eyes pierce through yours and it makes your heart race. You pull away and rub your palms against your thighs.

You disappear behind the curtain once more, leaving Bucky behind.

…

When you arrive in Madripoor, you’re dressed in an outfit that leaves little to the imagination. The dress has a plunging neckline that settles just below your naval. Your chest is barely covered and your boobs threaten to slip over the fabric. You’re dressed for the part, that’s for sure.

Zemo is the first one to look at you when you return from behind the curtain. He whistles at you and it makes your skin crawl.

Bucky shoves Zemo harshly and grips his chest tightly, snarling in his face. “Watch your mouth,” Bucky hissed, shoving him into one of the chairs.

He turns to look at you and you reach to squeeze his hand. You pull him away from Zemo and whisper softly, “It’s alright, Buck. Take a deep breath.”

He grits his teeth and shakes his head, and does what you ask. “I’ll kill him. If he does that again, I’ll kill him.”

You laugh softly and press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I don’t doubt you will, Buck.”

The two of you trail behind Sam and Zemo as you leave the plane. A sleek black car is waiting just off the runway and you follow behind to the vehicle. When you settle into your spot in between Buck and Sam in the back, Zemo turns to look at the three of you.

“It’s imperative that we don’t break character, no matter what. If you do, we’re good as dead, understand?”

You scoff and roll your eyes as he looks towards you. “Crystal,” you snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.

He turns to face the front of the vehicle and silence fills the car.

Suddenly, a number of motorcycles surround the car as you drive into Low Town. you make sure to keep your eyes forward and Bucky reaches for the hand on your knee. He squeezes it tightly and you do the same.

Reality is now just setting in for you. This is the first mission that you’ve been on since Steve went back to the 40s, and since Tony died. It had been three long months since Tony saved the world and brought everyone back that was taken five years earlier. You know that three months isn’t long, but it still makes you nervous. You haven’t been training to keep things from going rusty. You had no desire to.

Bucky leans into you, his mouth near the shell of your ear. “You okay?”

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat. “Yeah, just a bit nervous. I’m a little out of practice. This is my first mission since Steve left,” you mumbled back, squeezing his hand again to keep you grounded. He does the same in return.

“It’s alright. I have your back. I’ll protect you, promise.”

A small smile finds its way onto your face and you shake your head at him. “You know better than anyone else than to promise something like that before a mission, Buck. It’s bad luck,” you teased.

He laughs too and the car stops in what you guess is the downtown area of Low Town. You take a deep breath and Bucky does the same. You squeeze his hand one last time before his hand falls from your grasp. He opens the door and climbs out. You follow close behind and find your spot next to Sam. He gingerly wraps his arm around your waist as you walk into the Princess Bar.

Electronic music blasts through the speakers and the bass vibrates through your chest. You press against Sam as you push through people to get to the bar. The smell of drugs and alcohol is suffocating as you walk and ignore the stares sent your way. They’re not staring at you, but Bucky, who walks just a step behind you like a looming shadow.

“Ready to comply, Winter Soldier?” Zemo asked Bucky in Russian.

It makes your blood boil and Sam squeezes your waist tightly, a reminder that you must not break character. You hate it. You hate that Bucky has to pretend to be the person he’s worked so hard to distance himself from. Bucky is not him. The Winter Soldier doesn’t exist anymore. That part of him is gone, dead. You only hope that Bucky reminds himself that the Winter Soldier isn’t him anymore as he pretends just feet behind you.

You stand in front of the bar counter as the bartender approaches. You keep your mouth shut as Zemo exchanges words with the man, briefly bringing Sam, the Smiling Tiger, into the conversation. Your eyes find Bucky’s and your heart jumps inside your throat. His eyes are cold and void of any emotion. He’s stoic and brooding. He’s fallen into character perfectly and it scares you to think that all the progress he’s made over the years has been destroyed in this moment. For his sake, you hope not.

You tear your eyes away from Bucky at the feeling of Sam’s hand on the curve of your ass. You watch him carefully as he takes a shot. The bartender moves on and you let out a careful breath.

A man grasps at Zemo’s shoulder and sneers at him. He looks over at Bucky as Zemo asks to see Selby before he walks away. Another man approaches Zemo from behind and he speaks in Russian once more. “Winter Soldier, attack.”

You hold your breath in anticipation as the unsuspecting man rests his hand on Zemo’s shoulder. You want to reach out and touch Bucky, tell him that he doesn’t have to, that the two of you still have time to make a run for it, but you don’t. You can’t. Zemo would probably try and kill you if you interfere and it’s the last thing you need.

Bucky stalks over to him with two long strides, and rips the man’s hand from Zemo’s shoulder. He twists his wrist back and throws him to the ground. Another man swings at Bucky and he stops it with ease. He punches his back and kicks him against another crowny. As another man attempts to punch and kick at Bucky. He uses his metal arm and momentum to take each of them out.

“It doesn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo smirked, leaning over to look at you and Sam.

“Shut your mouth,” you hissed between your teeth as you watched Bucky.

Bucky grabs one of the men by the throat and slams him into the counter. Guns cock all around you as you look around the room. Your heart is inside your throat and there’s ringing in your ears. You reach to grab Bucky’s arm, but Sam beats you to it.

“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us,” Zemo whispered. “Well done, soldier.”

Sam lets go of his arm and takes a step back, pulling you with him. He squeezes your hip tightly as you watch Bucky’s grip fall from the man’s throat.

“Selby will see you now,” the bartender said.

Zemo moves to follow him and you resist the urge to reach out and touch Bucky. Sam pulls you along and you walk in silence down a number of hallways. The music fades into the background and you’re squeezing Sam’s hand like your life depends on it.

A number of men on Selby’s security detail whistle as you walk by. You bite your tongue and resist the urge to snap their necks. The four of you wait at the door at the end of the hall for several seconds before it opens. You walk inside and Zemo takes you from Sam’s side. Your jaw ticks as he guides you to the empty sofa. His hand settles on your thigh and you tense under his touch.

Zemo and Selby negotiate for information. All you need to know is who created the serum and where they are. That’s it. Zemo needs to stick to the plan.

Zemo stands up from his spot next to you. “Tell us what you know about the super soldier serum, and I give you him…. along with the code words to control him,” Zemo stands behind Bucky, his hand resting on his shoulder. He’s silent and obedient, the perfect encapsulation of who he had been for the last 80 years.

There wasn’t a discussion over what the offer would be when you were on the plane from Latvia. You just assumed Zemo would figure a way out of it, he was clever enough to do it before. You hadn’t thought that he would actually use the Winter Soldier to his benefit outside of protection. How naive of you.

Bucky’s eyes are dark and he stares straight ahead as Zemo caresses his chin. He doesn’t flinch or react. He’s playing the Winter Soldier perfectly and you hate every second. You bite the inside of your cheek so hard that you start to taste blood.

“He will do anything you want.”

Selby grins, leaning back in her spot on the couch opposite of you. She tells him what you need to know. She nears Sam and then the worst happens, his phone begins to ring.

She tells him to answer it and your fingers squeeze into the leather couch. Your heart races and for the first time since you walked into the bar, Bucky’s eyes find yours. You know he can see your panic.

Things are fine momentarily. Sam’s trying his best to stay in character and you know it’s not working as well as he’d like. You hold your breath and your panic settles in at the mention of Sam’s name coming from Sarah.

“Kill them—”

Your eyes widen in horror as a bullet pierces through the glass window in front of you and lodges into Selby’s throat, killing her instantly. The act is over.

You leap to your feet and pull the tactical knife that you hid in your dress out from underneath you. You slice the knife across your attacker’s arm. Bucky kicks him into the wall and grabs you by the arm.

You run as fast as you can out the bar and through the streets of Madripoor. You dodge bullets and fight off others that attack you with knives.

You do well, all things considered with what you’re dressed in. You dig your heel into the boot of your attacker, throwing them off balance. You kick their leg out from underneath them and Sam knocks them unconscious.

Bucky, of course, is doing just fine on his own. You run over to help. You disarm the man closer to you and use the butt of the gun to knock him out.

You barely have time to register the man creeping up behind Bucky. His arm is outstretched with a gun in his hand. Bucky has no clue.

“Bucky!” you screamed at the top of your lungs, running as fast as you can towards him.

He turns to look at you as you use your whole body to shove him aside as the gun goes off.

Time stands still.

You fall to the ground in a daze as the bullet rips through your shoulder. Your eyes stare up into the night sky as it takes you a moment to realize that you’d just been shot.

You try to sit up and get back on your feet. You don’t have time to worry about your wound. You need to get the hell out of Low Town.

Bucky nearly drags you off the ground and you run. You run as fast as you can despite the bullet in your shoulder.

“We need to get out of here!” Bucky shouted, inspecting your wound.

A shadowy figure approaches and Bucky blocks you from view. The hood drops and you peer over Bucky’s shoulder. You don’t have time to be surprised that Sharon is the one standing in front of you.

“Sharon? What are you doing here?” Sam asked.

“We don’t have time for that!” Bucky snapped. “Sharon, please. You gotta help us. Y/n’s been shot.”

She nods and motions for you to follow her. She stops in front of a beautiful blue car and Bucky guides you into the car, pressing his metal hand against your shoulder to stop the bleeding. You ignore Sam and Bucky’s bickering as they yell at you for getting shot. You don’t have the energy to respond.

Sharon races across town and pulls up to a very fancy building. Sharon jumps out and opens the door for Bucky. His arm holds your torso and your uninjured arm is thrown over his shoulder as you walk inside. You gather into the elevator as it takes you to the top floor.

Your entire body goes numb and Bucky guides you to the kitchen counter. Sharon briefly disappears before returning with a heavy duty first aid kit.

“Do you have tequila?” you asked her as Bucky rummaged through the bag for the correct supplies. Sharon laughs softly before grabbing a bottle of tequila from her liquor cabinet. You take a generous sip and the liquid burns your throat.

Bucky inspects the bullet wound carefully. Thankfully it was a through and through. He doesn’t have to fish the bullet out. He works quickly and you grit your teeth as he stitches the wound close on both sides of your shoulder.

The pain lessened to a dull throb now that he’s finished. He cleans the excess blood off your skin before gently placing your arm in a sling.

“Why did you do that, Y/n?” Bucky chastised you, shaking his head in disappointment. “I could’ve taken care of him.”

You scoff and roll your eyes at him. “I don’t even get a thank you for saving your ass? You were vulnerable, I did the right thing.”

He sighs and you look away. Your eyes find Sharon’s. “Can I borrow some clothes?”

She nods and disappears down the hall to her bedroom. Silence fills the room and Sam takes his turn to reprimand you. You ignore him entirely and take another large swig of tequila.

Sharon returns moments later with a pair of clean clothes. You thank her quietly and she points you in the direction of one of the guest bedrooms. You hop off the counter and ignore Bucky’s protests and calls of your name.

You huffed in frustration as you limped towards one of Sharon’s guest bedrooms. You had enough of Sam and Bucky yelling at you for your recklessness, especially Bucky. You’re exhausted and all you want to do is sleep.

You did what you thought was right. You did what Steve would’ve done. You had Bucky’s back. Isn’t that what mattered? Sure, you got shot in the shoulder, but it isn’t something you haven’t done before. You have the scars to prove it.

“Stop running away from me! We’re not done talking about this!” Bucky yelled after you, hot on your heels into the bedroom. “What were you thinking?”

You’re sick of Bucky questioning you. You’re not a child and you’re not the bright eyed recruit he thinks you still are. You did what was right in the heat of the moment. You don’t regret it. You’d do it all over again if it meant that he was safe.

“Stop treating me like a child, James! I’m not Steve’s recruit anymore! I’m a grown woman,” you shouted back at him. Your shoulders shake and you glare at him. “I know you still think I’m that naive 25 year old, but that’s not me anymore. The last five years may have been five seconds to you, but they weren’t to me. Accept the fact that I did what I thought was right.”

“It was reckless!”

“Steve would’ve done it!” you bit back.

“This isn’t about Steve!” he argued.

You laugh bitterly and shake your head. He doesn’t see it. He doesn’t see what you see. You know he sees you as his responsibility now that Steve’s gone. He feels an obligation to look after you because Steve did. You have a part of Steve with you. Bucky’s clinging to any last remains of Steve, and that includes you.

“Isn’t it though? You feel like you have a responsibility to protect me, to look after me. Why? It’s because Steve did and now that he’s gone, you feel like you have to replace him!”

The silence that fills the room suffocates you. Your heart races with anger. You want Bucky to leave you alone. You didn’t ask for this. Sam needed your help, and when you provided it, you got yelled at for it. Now you just want to go home.

You turn your back to Bucky and pull the pants that Sharon gave you up your legs before discarding the dress in the corner of the room. You don’t care if Bucky sees all the scars that litter your backside. Maybe then he would understand that you’ve always done what’s best for the mission, even if that meant getting hurt. You throw the sweatshirt over your head and turn to look at Bucky again.

“Do you have anything else to say to me? Are you going to try and deny it?”

Bucky sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re one of the only people I have left that have a connection to Steve.”

Another bitter laugh escapes your mouth. He doesn’t understand. “He abandoned me, James! He abandoned us. Steve’s gone. You can’t hold on to him anymore. You don’t have to do anything Steve did. You have nothing to prove to me, I promise. I don’t need you to replace Steve. I need you, Buck. You’re the one that’s here with me, not Steve.”

Tears threaten to spill over your cheeks and you look away from him. The silence is deafening and Bucky moves to take you in his arms. He holds you against his chest and cards his fingers through your hair. You cry against his chest and cling to his henley. He gently guides you to the bed and sits down with you in his lap.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he whispered, rubbing your back. “You’re right. It just scared me. I don’t think I can handle losing you too. I’m sorry.”

You pull away to look at him with your tear stained cheeks and he carefully wipes away your tears with the pad of his thumb. You blink away the remaining tears and lean into his touch. “It’s okay, Buck. You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

You rest your forehead against his and breathe him in. His metal hand rubs circles against your back and it sends shivers down your spine. He holds you carefully and no words are exchanged. Your eyes flicker to his lips and your heart thunders against your chest.

There’s a soft knock at the door and you pull your body off of Bucky’s. You sit beside him as Sam pokes his head inside the room. “Is everything okay?” he asked, looking between the two of you.

You look over at Bucky and then back to Sam. You smile and nod slowly. “Everything’s perfect, Sam.”

#bucky barnes x reader #Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes imagine #Bucky Barnes imagines #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #Bucky imagines #tfatws #tfatws x reader #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #Sebastian stan imagines #sebastian x reader #sebastian imagine #my writing

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

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YOUR EMPLOYEES AND INVESTORS WILL CONSTANTLY BE ASKING ARE WE THERE YET

I think I've figured out what's going on. After the first 10 or so we learned to treat deals as background processes that we should ignore till they terminated.1 Don't Get Your Hopes Up. Something hacked together means something that barely solves the problem, the harder it is to bait the hook with prestige. And that is almost certainly mistaken. So one thing that falls just short of the standard, I think, should be the highest goal for the marginal. Big companies think the function of office space is to express rank. As big companies' oligopolies became less secure, they were willing to pay a premium for labor. You can see it in old photos. If you're friends with a lot of the worst kinds of projects are the death of a thousand cuts. And what's especially dangerous is that many happen at your computer.

And the microcomputer business ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. In 1450 it was filled with the kind of turbulent and ambitious people you find now in America. You have to like what they do there than how much they can get the most done. That's not what makes startups worth the trouble. Design This kind of metric would allow us to compare different languages, but that if someone wanted to design a language explicitly to disprove this hyphothesis, they could probably do it. This technique can be generalized to: What's the best thing you could be doing, not just what you can see the results in any town in America. With this amount of money can change a startup's funding situation completely. There I found a copy of The Atlantic. Whereas it's easy to get sucked into working longer than you expected at the money job.2 That's ok. I think you have to do all three. But more importantly, you'll get into the habit of doing things well.

But what if the person in the next 40 years will bring us some wonderful things.3 They all know about the VCs who rejected Google. The writing of essays used to be.4 You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.5 He improvises: if someone appears in front of him, he runs around them; if someone tries to grab him, he spins out of their grip; he'll even run in the wrong place, anything might happen. The people who've worked for a few months I realized that what I'd been unconsciously hoping to find there was back in the place I'd just left. It was supposed to be something else, they ended up being Apple vs Microsoft. By 2012 that number was 18 years. The first thing you need is to be willing to look like a fool.6 Google they have a fair amount of data to go on. John Malkovich where the nerdy hero encounters a very attractive, sophisticated woman.

Many of the big companies were roll-ups that didn't have clear founders.7 Empirically, the way to the bed and breakfast, and other similar classes of accommodations, you get to hit a few difficult problems over the net at someone, you learn pretty quickly how hard they hit them anyway. Inexperienced founders make the same mistake as the people who list at ABNB, they list elsewhere too I am not negative on this one was the only way to get lots of referrals is to invest in students, not professors. It will actually become a reasonable strategy or a more reasonable strategy to suspect everything new.8 Never say we're passionate or our product is great. Whereas undergraduate admissions seem to be disappointments early on, when they're just a couple guys in an apartment. Programmers at Yahoo wouldn't have asked that.9 Incidentally, this scale might be helpful in deciding what to study in college. VCs think they're playing a zero sum game.

I spend most of my time writing essays lately. Almost everyone's initial plan is broken. If smaller source code is the purpose of comparing languages, because they come closest of any group I know to embodying it. Distracting is, similarly, desirable at the wrong time. But if we make kids work on dull stuff now is so they can get away with atrocious customer service. In fact, here there was a kid playing basketball? Of course, figuring out what you like.

Go out of your way to bring it up e. The industry term here is conversion. Try to keep the sense of wonder you had about programming at age 14. At least if you start a startup, people treat you as if you're unemployed.10 But hacking is like writing. Even with us working to make things happen the way they used to, they were moving to a cheaper apartment. It causes you to work not on what you like, but is disastrously lacking in others. I do in the rest of the world. Their defining quality is probably that they really love to program.

I could only figure out what to do, there's a natural tendency to stop looking.11 Economies of scale ruled the day.12 One is that this is simply the founders' living expenses.13 I need to transfer a file or edit a web page, and I think I know what is meant by readability, and I think they're onto something. Multiply this times several hundred, and I get an uneasy feeling when I look at my bookshelves. You may have read on Slashdot how he made his own Segway.14 Everyday life gives you no practice in this. Startups grow up around universities because universities bring together promising young people and make them work on anything they don't want to want, we consider technological progress good.

Notes

Samuel Johnson said no man but a blockhead ever wrote except for money. Which is precisely my point. If they were regarded as 'just' even after the egalitarian pressures of World War II the tax codes were so new that the guys running Digg are especially sneaky, but except for money. They don't know enough about the new top story.

The image shows us, they tended to make money. But we invest in the Bible is Pride goeth before destruction, and one of the fake leading the fake leading the fake. In No Logo, Naomi Klein says that 15-20% of the aircraft is.

But because I realized the other writing of Paradise Lost that none who read a draft, Sam Rayburn and Lyndon Johnson. If they agreed among themselves never to do due diligence for an investor? The best technique I've found for dealing with the other.

I ordered a large number of startups as they do for a public event, you can ignore. If you want to help the company, and a few of the Facebook that might produce the next Apple, maybe the corp dev is to show growth graphs at either stage, investors decide whether to go to die.

If you walk into a big company CEOs in 2002 was 3.

Or rather, where w is will and d discipline. But that turned out the existing shareholders, including that Florence was then the richest country in the sense of mission.

In Shakespeare's own time, because they can't afford to. The company may not be able to raise their kids in a company in Germany. When we got to see the apples, they said, and why it's next to impossible to write an essay about it wrong. That will in many cases be an open booth.

I'm not saying you should probably be worth trying to tell them exactly what constitutes research in the early 90s when they say they bear no blame for any particular truths you'll learn. As Jeremy Siegel points out that there is undeniably a grim satisfaction in hunting down certain sorts of bugs. Did you know about it as if you'd invested at a discount of 30% means when it was actually a great programmer doesn't merely do the right direction to be is represented by Milton.

But a lot of the next round. It's hard to say exactly what your body is telling you. In Russia they just kill you, they tend to be very unhealthy. One thing that drives most people realize, because you have two choices, choose the harder.

Though Balzac made a lot of classic abstract expressionism is doodling of this essay talks about programmers, but one by one they die and their houses are transformed by developers into McMansions and sold to VPs of Bus Dev. Or rather, where it sometimes causes investors to act. Eric Raymond says the best hackers want to trick admissions officers. And no, unfortunately, I mean efforts to protect widows and orphans from crooked investment schemes; people with a truly feudal economy, you better be sure you do in proper essays.

The top VCs thus have a better education. Or a phone, IM, email, Web, games, books, newspapers, or some vague thing like that. You need to fix. But the question is not much to maintain their percentage.

Kant. Loosely speaking. The real decline seems to them to lose elections. Some types of startups where the recipe is to say incendiary things, they can grow the acquisition offers most successful founders still get rich simply by being energetic and unscrupulous, but they get for free.

World War II to the frightening lies told by older siblings. That's one of the most general truths. As we walked in, we found they used it to get into that because a unless your last funding round.

But this seems an odd idea.

Thanks to Jessica Livingston, Shiro Kawai, Garry Tan, Chris Small, and Nikhil Nirmel for sharing their expertise on this topic.

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bustyasianbeautiespod · 2 years

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Episode 24 Transcript: Sigmund Freud Would Be So Proud

[intro guitar music]

G: Hello, my name is Grey.

C: And my name is Crystal.

G: And this is Busty Asian Beauties, the Supernatural commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show several times…

C: And I, someone who only knows the show through social media, discuss every single episode of Supernatural from start to finish. Also, we are both Asian.

G: So for today's episode, we'll be discussing Season 2, Episode 2: “Everybody Loves a Clown,” written by John Shiban-

C: Boooo.

G: - directed by Phil Sgriccia. Literally boo.

C: Also booo.

G: Phil Sgriccia- [sighs]

C: Phil Sgriccia is responsible for the Jo ass shot.

G: Yes, and also those shots where like, when a little person is on screen, like, it shows like, a height that is Sam and Dean's height, and then it pans down to show the little person, which is like.

C: Yup! Okay, Phil Sgriccia.

G: Oh, alright.

C: Alright, Phil. Thanks Phil.

G: Your favor has been revoked.

C: Yup. Do not email us, Phil. [both laugh]

G: Okay, so before going into this episode, what were your expectations for this one?

C: I knew that this was gonna be our first introduction to Jo and Ellen and Ash and The Roadhouse, and that presumably, there'd be a clown. And also, since this is right after John's death, we'd probably get Dean beating up the Impala at some point. I didn't really know much else, probably 'cause everything else in the episode, so no one wants to know and wishes never happened, ever. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. The extraneous stuff is good, but the case...

C: [audibly winces] It sure is.

G: Well, I guess the case is the extraneous stuff, so- but the case is- whatever. Who fucking cares.

C: [laughs] Who fucking cares.

G: Do you think the case was like, trying to say something about like, grief and...?

C: How?? [laughs]

G: I know! Like, why didn't they pick an episode case where, like, grief is front and center or something. Because, like, that's the whole point of the rest of the episode.

C: Right.

G: So why this-? why, like, the driving force mean absolutely nothing about it? Maybe the more we talk about it, we'll figure out the relevance of the case, but as of now, I don't see it. So.

C: I just- I think John Shiban just got dumped by a little person. [laughing] Like, that's what I think this about.

G: [laughing] Yeah.

G: First, we start with the “Then” sequence.

C: Yes, the best part of the episode.

G: Yes, this is the best part of the episode. Like, I don't know the song, but the song starts with like, you know, guitars, rock music, and then it slows down to just a beat. And the visuals follow suit, and it's actually really fucking entertaining to watch.

C: Yeah.

G: [laughs] Little did I know, this is the peak of the episode [C laughs], so.

C: Yeah. I think my favorite part was the visual parallels like, when they were cutting between like, John thrashing on the floor as Azazel left him and then thrashing as he's being defibrillated [G: The defibrillator.] Yeah.

G: Okay, so for the episode itself, we start in Medford, Wisconsin, in a carnival. So we see various circus acts, and then a couple of clowns entertaining a girl named Nora. We go around the carnival some more and see some more circus acts, and then the mother tells Nora that she's bound for her last ride, and then just then, in the corner, we and Nora see a creepyass clown. This cloud is very creepy. Certified creep. [C laughs] She waves hi to the clown, and the clown waves back, and Nora points this out to her mom, but when she looks there's no clown. And then the mom jokes that Nora is trying to scare her dad. And then we go to the car where they're driving, and the clown can be seen on the side of the road, and Nora remarks on it. Back home, Nora lies on her bed preparing to sleep, and she hears rustling. She goes towards her window and sees the clown in the front yard, so she goes downstairs to let the clown in. And the moment she holds the clown's hand, we see the splash screen. So we don't see the rest of that, right? And at first, I was like, "Are we gonna do child murder in Supernatural?" [laughs]

C: Right.

G: I didn't really connect the dots before, but somebody pointed out to me once that child murder in media is still taboo. And I was like, "Wait, you're right." Like, we don't really see child murder that much. When I saw the scene, I actually googled whether we see any children get murdered in Supernatural. Like, I know Dean's kid in season 7, "Slice Girls," like, Emma, gets killed, but she wasn't necessarily in like, a 12-year-old and below child's body. I don't think that counts as child murder, necessarily. But according to the Redditors in r/supernatural [C laughs], there are no child deaths in Supernatural, like, at least not on screen, so.

C: Yeah, that makes sense. Right, I thought there was gonna be child murder, but that the screen cut because they didn't like, want to actually show the killing-

G: A child getting murdered.

C: - and just a news article, yeah. Okay, you know what? I really thought that there was gonna be a reveal later that the clown creature, like, had cast some kind of spell on the kids to make them so friendly towards him, but like, no? Like, these kids are just seeing a clown sitting in their yard and being like, "Sure, come in, buddy!" [laughing] Who are you children?

G: But also, these children are not six years old. [in unison] They're like, 10.

C: Yeah. [laughs]

G: So the fact that they're letting strangers in, like, where you never informed of stranger danger as a child?

C: Exactly!

C: We are now in the woods at John's hunters' funeral. He's burning on a funeral pyre, and I know it's a sad scene, but it literally looks like they're cooking him.

G: [laughs] Yum yum!

C: Yum yum.

G: Is this legal, by the way? Like, it doesn't matter in the world of Supernatural, but like, if, for example, I'm like, "I want a hunters' funeral to honor my life as a Supernatural fan!"

C: Noo! [laughing]

G: Like, would that be legal?

C: Um, I guess... what would the illegal part be? Like, the fire?

G: It's the open air cremation.

C: Oh, right. Hm. I don't actually know.

G: I actually went on, like, the internets and looked up Department of Health regulations for cremation. And I learned absolutely nothing on whether it's legal or not, [laughs] but I did learn that cremation remains are called "cremains." [starts laughing]

C: No. [laughing]

G: They literally-! Like, in the pamphlet, they call it "cremains," and I was like, "This is amazing!" This is worth reading through this fucking pamphlet of funeral and cremation regulations.

C: Oh, yeah, in "Tombstone," Dean, sadly, "I scattered your cremains over that meadow." [both laughing]

Whatever, I'm glad whoever wrote that pamphlet had fun.

Sam and Dean are cooking their father and looking on very sadly, and their expressions, I think, set up the rest of the episode were Sam's quite teary-eyed and sort of shifting back and forth, and Dean is just like, staring like, completely solid-faced.

G: This is the beginning of his Blue Steel.

C: [laughs] Exactly, yeah.

G: Like, Sam is giving us full-on lamentation, you know. Regret, guilt, everything! And Dean's giving us fucking Blue Steel. [laughs]

C: Yup. Good for Dean. And also like, the camera spent so much longer on Dean, and like, it like, gives us a very like, straight on shot of him in the center of the frame with like, flames rising up. Like, we get it. Jackles can't act. Thanks.

G: He also does the single man tear this-

C: Yes! Yes. [laughing] Literally started singing as soon as that started happening.

G: Literally, a single man tear falls down his face and-

C: - he shows emotion without a trace.

G: Exactly! [laughs]

C: Right, so Sam asks Dean, like, "Before he... died, like, before that, did he say anything to you? About anything?" And Dean, not looking at him and also lying, says, "No, nothing."

G: I just also want to make a comment that I found it so interesting that in John's death, Sam is seen so visibly emotional. Because I know we get deaths later on where he is like, almost not even allowed to react.

C: Yeah, Mary's death? Like it's like, "Cas, no! Don't bother Dean! Dean's the one who's sad." [laughs] Like, "Who's Mary? I never knew her."

C: So it's a week later, and we're at Bobby's junkyard and Dean is working on the Impala. Looks better than last time, so good for him.

G: Looks incredibly good.

C: Yeah, he is under the car on a little slide-y thing. [laughs] I don't know what they're called.

G: Yeah, and he's showing armpit, baby.

C: [laughs] Yeah.

G: Like, not, like, flesh armpit, but like, you know, armpit sweat stain. And I was like, "Yum!"

C: Yeah, there's like grease on his gray T-shirt and I was like, "This is fanservice."

G: Yeah. It's literally fanservice.

C: Did Jensen Ackles have a Twitter- was his previous Twitter header like, this scene, or a different scene of Dean with the car?

G: No, I think it was a scene from season 10, actually of him like, standing over the Impala. I know it's from a later season because he's more built. Like, they de-twinkified my boy. [both laugh]

C: So Sam comes along. He's wearing like, this light blue polo, and I was so happy to see him, I kept cheering, I was like, "He's so cute, he's such a fashion icon. Thank you for the boat shoes vibes." [laughs]

G: He's wearing it over a gray shirt, and they're so mismatched. He's literally a fashion icon.

C: We get to see his nipples through his shirt in the last scene, and that's what's important. [G laughs]

G: Jesus.

C: [laughing] I love that this is the commentary we're bringing the good listeners of BABPod. Sorry.

G: This is what people tune in for.

C: So he asks Dean about the car and if he needs any help, and Dean's like, "What? You under a hood? I'll pass." And then Sam says, "Need anything else, then?" and Dean pushes himself out from under the car on his little slide-y thing, and he's a little upset, and he says, "Stop it, Sam. Stop asking if I need anything, stop asking if I'm okay. I'm okay, really. I promise." And Sam says, "Yeah, okay, but we've been at Bobby's for a week, and you haven't brought up Dad once." And Dean says, "You know what? You're right. Come here. I'm gonna lay my head gently on your shoulder. Maybe we can cry, hug, and maybe even slow dance." [sighs] Okay, Dean. Sam keeps pushing, and he says, "Dad is dead, the Colt is gone, and it seems pretty damn likely that the demon is behind all this." And I didn't know that they wouldn't know that John made a deal.

G: Yeah.

C: Like, they straight-up think that Dean just came back to life apropos of nothing, and that Azazel just killed John for funsies.

G: Yeah, that last speech was totally not telling that John was about to die at all, you know?

C: Right, yeah. He just told Dean like, "Oh my god, I'm so proud of you, son. Also, kill Sammy for me please?" Like, just for funsies. Like, he thought after that they would just hang out. Okay guys. Do you that they know and are just in denial about it?

G: I'm not sure if they know the concept of a demon deal right now. So maybe they don't because it's just not in their consciousness, the idea of making a deal with the devil.

C: But wouldn't Bobby know, at least?

G: Bobby- my theory is that Bobby does know, but he's just sparing the boys the hurt. So he's like, "Oh, it's none of my business." [laughs] Go Bobby.

C: Good for Bobby. Absolute king of not showing up on screen this episode.

G: Yeah, his spirit is around. I know, it's really nice that they have a place to stay now. Do you think Sam and Dean are like, messy in Bobby's house?

C: Oh, you mean like, they're like, leaving their dirty dishes in the sink.

G: Yeah, like, these two have never had a permanent home. Like, Dean after four years old and Sam like, pretty much after six months of his life. So like, how- what are they like in Bobby's house? I want to know the dynamic. Like, I want to know the schedule that they have built in Bobby's house.

C: Yeah, so do I. I'm assuming we don't get any like, scenes of them all, like, sitting down to dinner or whatever, right? 'Cause I would have seen that in an AMV.

G: I would have remembered, I feel like.

C: Yeah. I hope that Bobby makes them do the dishes sometimes.

C: Sam says, "Say something, alright? Hell, say anything! Aren't you angry? Don't you want revenge? But all you do is sit out here all day long buried underneath this damn car." Dean goes, “Revenge, huh?" And then he's like, going on sarcastically, "Sounds good, you got any leads on where the demon is? Making heads or tails of any of Dad's research? And if we finally do find it... oh, wait, the Colt's gone. We've got nothing. The only thing I can do is work on the car."

G: RIP.

C: RIP. What do you think about Sam's, like, feelings about revenge here?

G: I think in his mind it's less revenge for Dad's death, it's more just like, "Let's finish the job," you know. I think when he brought up revenge, he was just trying to rile Dean up, and less like he actually believes that it's something that they should do.

C: Yeah, agreed. Especially since, you know, this whole episode is him going like, "Oh, I'm gonna do this because that's what Dad would have wanted," like revenge is definitely what John would have wanted. And, especially since, like, their last- one of their last conversations was John going like, "If you'd just shot the damn demon, then we wouldn't be in this mess." Like, Sam I like, I'm so guilty about fighting with John right before he died, so I'm just gonna shoot the damn demon so we can be finished with this mess.

Sam says that "Well, we do have a clue. I like, found one of Dad's old phones, and I got into his voicemail." And we hear a voicemail from Ellen saying-

G: Whoo!

C: Whoo! Hi Ellen! [laughing] I am separating the character from the actress right now.

G: Oh, what did- what did she do?

C: Samantha Ferris, right? I mean, I think it was-

G: Is this purely the bait during Valentine's Day? Or did she do other things?

C: I think she's just been like, conservative-ish on Twitter in general.

G: Ohh. I mean, [laughs] Supernatural, the entire show is an exercise on separating the actors from the character.

C: Yeah. Jesus fuck.

G: The only time I can't do that is, like, fucking Lucifer. Like, Mark P, get the fuck out. I fucking hate you, I hate your character, I hate everything that you contribute to the show, so. You know, like, when I make AMVs, for example, and there's like, a Mark Pellegrino, like, face in the shot, I strategically cut it so that he never shows up. [both laughing] Like, I hate him so much. Fucking hate him.

C: That's so good. That's so good. Yeah, I've also seen AMVs where people just blur his face every shot he's in. [G laughs]

G: That's so good, I should try that next time.

C: Yeah, so Ellen says on the phone, "John, it's Ellen. Again. Look, don't be stubborn, you know I can help you. Call me." And apparently, that message is from four months ago, and Ellen is not mentioned in the journal, but apparently, Sam ran a trace on her phone number and gotten an address. He's so smart, how do you do that?

G: Literally what the fuck does that mean? What does that mean?

C: Yeah, that means nothing, but cool.

G: Like, literally nothing.

C: Yeah, well they mentioned they're borrowing one of Bobby's cars to go over there.

G: Yes! And the car that they borrow is the creakiest, most rusty van possible. Sam and Dean are, you know, are driving the van, and they drive towards a building that says Harvelle's Roadhouse up top. And when they get out, they banter a bit about Dean feeling like a soccer mom, and they start looking around. They walk into the Roadhouse; it's open.

C: And business is not going well! I don't know how they keep the electricity in there.

G: Yes. So they look around, and they see a guy sleeping in the pool table. They look around some more, and Sam enters a room. Dean is just walking around when we see a rifle slowly come in contact with his back. He says, "Oh, god, please let that be a rifle." And the camera pans towards the girl behind him holding the rifle. It's Jo!!

C: Jo!!

G: Hi Jo! She tells him not to move, and then Dean says, "Oh, you should know something, miss. Don't put a rifle right up someone's back because it makes it really easy to do..." and then he turns and grabs the rifle and cocks it and says, "That," you know. And Jo fucking punches him in the face, so. [C laughs] Where's your cool now, Dean?

C: Yes. Thank you, Jo.

G: Dean calls out to Sam, and all the while he's whispering to himself, "I can't see, I can't see!" Sam gets out of the room he was in earlier with his hands behind his head, and he says, "Sorry, Dean. I can't right now, I'm a little tied up." And Ellen is right behind him with a gun.

C: Hi, Ellen!

G: Hi Ellen. Ellen goes, "Sam? Dean? Winchester?" And the two go, "Yeah." And Jo asks if Ellen knows these guys, and she says, "Yeah. They're John Winchester's boys!" She laughs and then puts her gun down and goes, “Hey, I'm Ellen! That's my daughter, Jo." And Jo says, "Hey," and Dean cracks a "You're not gonna hit me again, are ya?"

C: What I want to know is, do they do this with every customer who enters the Roadhouse? [G laughs]

G: Like, what if Sam and Dean were literally just some guys trying to find some shelter in the middle of a hotass day, you know?

C: Is there, like, a secret code or certain hours during which, like, hunters are aware that the Roadhouse is open? Like, I don't understand how business operates.

Ellen is handing Dean some ice for his nose, and he asks about her voicemail. He says, like, "You said you could help. Help with what?" And Ellen says, "Well, the demon of course. I heard he was closing in on it." Dean's like, "Was there an article in the Demon Hunters Quarterly that I missed? Like, how do you all know about this?" And Ellen says she just runs a saloon-

G: Rather poorly, I say.

C: - but hunters pass through a lot. Yeah. Sorry, Ellen.

G: Who am I to judge someone else's business strategy? [laughs] Like- the only business I have is a podcast. [C laughing]

C: I'll have you know that 7 whole people came to our YouTube Premiere.

G: [laughs] Exactly!

C: So she says, "Your dad also passed through, a long time ago. John was like family, once." [laughs] Looks off into the distance.

G: And I know the context of what-

C: Oh yeah, I know, it's 'cause he got Ellen's husband killed 'cause he sucks.

G: Yes, yes. But there is like, a hint of like, "Oh, is John and Ellen a thing?" going on in this scene.

C: Noo. [laughs] Yeah.

G: I mean, there is! There is! What do you mean, no?

C: There is. Yeah, there is. Sam mentions it too.

G: Yeah, Sam acknowledges it later. It's so selfish of John- I understand that he's guilty about getting Jo's dad killed, but like, why deprive Sam and Dean of this kind of company, you know? Like, Ellen looks like a good adult figure, maybe, for young Sam and Dean, and Jo is someone who's a little bit younger than them but is, you know, also their age, just in general.

C: Yeah. She's 21 in this episode, so she's a year younger than Sam.

G: Yes. I looked it up as well. She's a few years younger than Sam. So, you know, like, Sam could have had a friend with Jo. It's another way that John has isolated them, I feel like. Apparently, they have this entire hunter gathering communal area, and Sam and Dean just don't know. Like, that sucks.

C: Yeah. And see, I would get it if he was like, trying to keep them from being too enmeshed in the life, but he is sending them on hunts and forcing them to hunt so that's not it. He's just being a dick.

So they keep talking, and Dean asks like, "Why do we need your help?" And Ellen says, "If you don't want my help, fine. Don't let the door smack your ass on the way out. But John wouldn't have sent you if..." And then there's a long pause where everyone looks very sad and uncomfortable, and she realizes, "Oh, he didn't send you. He's alright, isn't he?" And Sam says, "No, he isn't. It was the demon, we think. It just got him before he got it, I guess." And Dean says, "It's okay. We're all right." And Ellen goes, “Really? I know how close you and your dad were." Do you think John talked about Dean a lot like, at the bar?

G: I mean, it's implied that he mentioned his sons enough for Ellen to recognize their names, so.

C: That's true. But it seems- like, because she has that specific line, I guess I'm wondering if John mentioned Dean a lot more. I've definitely- I've enjoyed the Samfan theories that John kept Sam away from the hunter community because he thought that eventually, after Sam's powers manifested, the other hunters would try to just straight-up kill baby Sam.

Dean says, "Really, lady, I'm fine.” RIP.

G: Can we give him a point? Can we give him a point?

C: Yes. Yes, yes. I'm pulling it out.

G: I was like, "Send his ass to hell, I don't fucking care. Why is he calling this woman 'lady' so terribly? Like, with such a terrible tone?"

C: What a man, what a man. [laughs] Alright, Dean’s gotten one misogyny this season so far.

G: From John Shiban, of course.

C: From John Shiban, of course.

So Sam says like, "Yeah, we do want your help," and Ellen says, "Well, I can't, but Ash can." And she wakes up Ash who's passed out on like, the pool table or something.

G: Yes.

C: Yeah, what a king. And Jo says, "He's a genius."

G: So Sam slams down a folder on the table and Dean says to Ash- or to like, the world, I guess, about Ash, he says, "This guy's no genius! He's a Lynyrd Skynyrd roadie!" Is that how you pronounce it? Lynyrd Skynyrd?

C: I think it's Lynyrd Skynyrd.

G: Yeah, Lynyrd Skynyrd. I know these guys to because [laughs] well, one, they sing "Sweet Home Alabama" which is, you know, it's a famous song. Two, they sing "Simple Man," which is a song that [laughs] Jensen Ackles-

C: No.

G: - sings a lot during like, conventions and shit. [C screams] Don't ask me how I know, but I do know, and he sings it a lot, so.

C: Well, I mean, to clarify, Grey has never been to a convention. I think we do need to the clarify that.

G: Oh, yeah. No, I'm literally in the fucking Philippines, you'd think I'd go to the fucking US to go to a fucking convention?

C: [laughing] Well, that's why it'd be embarrassing if you did, so we really have to make it clear that you didn't. [G laughs]

G: Yeah. Like, if I fly to the fucking United States of America, I am doing other things other than going to a Supernatural convention, like, just to clarify.

C: [laughing] Yeah, like, we can experience homophobia at home, no need for plane.

G: [laughs] Yeah. Literally at home.

G: Ash says to Dean, "I like you," and Dean says, "Thanks."

C: There's definitely Dean/Ash undertones in this episode, right?

G: Yeah, a lot of it. A lot of it.

C: Like, I feel like, they totally have like, a "Dean dealing with his emotions badly" hookup, like, some time offscreen.

G: Definitely. Jo says, "Just give him a chance!" And then we linger on Ash making a face and Dean making a face, and I was like, "Okay, alright, [laughs] this is happening." Dean hands over the folder, and Ash starts scarring through the papers, and then he says, like, "This crap ain't real! Ain't nobody can track a demon like this!" And Sam says, "Our Dad could." Ash relays that these are- you know. He says things. He says words.

C: I don't think that- [laughing] I mean, I've only taken introductory data science classes, but this doesn't- I don't think that "These are non-parametrics, statistical overviews, prospects and correlations" means anything as a sentence. [G laughs]

G: But basically, what he's saying is John has a record of signs and omens, so like, electric storms, cattle death, just like John mentioned before, and that if you track these omens, you will be able to track the demon because they come right before the demon comes. Sam asks if Ash can do it, i.e. track the demon, and Ash says, "With this? Yeah, I think so. Give me... 51 hours?" And then he starts to walk away. And Dean calls out to him and says, "Hey, I dig the haircut." And Ash has a mullet. So for the uninformed, Ash is a mulleted man. Not the K-pop mullet that is very famous right now. Like, it's a mullet mullet. And Ash says his iconic line of, "Business up front, party in the back." Go Ash!

C: Why did Dean say that? Like, was he just making fun of him.

G: Like, it's supposed to make fun of Ash?

C: Yeah, I think so too, but it's such a good mullet! [laughing] And also, like, Dean totally wants in his pants, so I'm just not reading it like that. [G laughs]

G: Yeah.

C: Ugh. Society if Dean got a mullet.

G: I'm sure there's fanart of that.

C: Now Sam is talking to Ellen and he sees a folder that says like, "Murder" on it. [laughs]

G: It literally says "murder" on it.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Like, no wonder no one comes to your bar, Ellen! Also, it- the outside of it, it looks a lot smaller on the outside, right? I just feel like all the outside shots of the Roadhouse, it looks like a very small building.

G: It looks way bigger on the inside.

C: It's the TARDIS!

So she shows him a bunch of newspaper clippings about the murder that we sort of saw in the beginning, and apparently, the couple was murdered, and the child was left behind in Medford, Wisconsin.

Meanwhile, we get Dean and Jo, and we find out that Ellen got into this stuff from Jo's dad, who was a hunter. Dean tells Jo that he's sorry about her dad's death, and she says, "It was a long time ago. I was just a kid. Sorry to hear about your dad.” And then Dean- [sighs] [G starts laughing] Bro. Bro. Bro.

G: [laughing] He's such a loser!

C: Just from a logical standpoint, like, you don't want to get kicked out of the bar for fucking the owner's daughter when you're relying on Ash to get the demon stuff. Like, just putting aside anything else, like, just from a strategic standpoint, this is a bad call.

He says, "So, I guess I've got 51 hours to waste. Maybe tonight, we should uh..." Bro. Dean.

G: He's such a loser!

C: He's such a fucking loser. [laughs] Jesus Christ. And he looks at Jo and then he goes, "You know what? Nevermind." [both laughing] Same fucking energy as Sam telling Lori, "Sorry, I can't kiss you; I'm too sad about my girlfriend's death." Dean's like, "If my dad hadn't just died I would be all over that, baby, but unfortunately he is dead."

Jo says, "What?” and Dean says, "Nothing. Just a wrong place, wrong time.” And Jo says, "You know, I thought you were gonna toss me some cheap pickup line." And he was, Jo. He totally was.

G: He literally was.

C: I don't know why you think that he's better than that. He's not.

G: I think I actually read this as like, Jo was being sarcastic. Like, "Oh, I thought you were gonna toss me a pickup line, some guys come in here with a six-pack-"

C: Oh, "But not you." Yeah.

G: "- and side 2 of Led Zeppelin, but not you." And like, it was supposed to be like, a dig at him actually about to have done that.

C: Yeah. Right.

G: 'Cause Dean's face looks like he got caught.

C: Right, yeah, that's true, that's true. I guess it's just 'cause she seems like- because she's like, receptive to his like, advances later, so like, I was like, "I don't really know what's going on in her brain."

G: I mean, I get that Jo is into Dean. Like, Dean, is a handsome person, so.

C: [sighs] Oh my god.

G: [laughing] What? Like, from a logical standpoint- I don't know if this is logical. It's not logical like. But from a standpoint of like, "a good looking guy enters your Roadhouse and he, like, propositions you, and he's like, 'No, but I'm too sad. [C laughs] I'm too sad to fuck right now.'" You would be like, "Aww."

C: Yeah, I could see how you could poor little meow meow-ify that situation. [laughing] Jo wants to like, put Dean in a nightlight and shake him around like a can of Pringles.

Yeah, she says, "Most hunters come through that door think they can get in my pants with some pizza, six-pack, and side one of Zeppelin IV." And Dean goes, "What a bunch of scumbags! Ahahaha." [laughs] And Jo goes, "But not you!" And Dean says, "I guess not."

So Sam calls Dean over to check out the case, and Sam tells Dean that there have been a few murders near here, and there might be hunt, so let's go check it out.

G: So Sam and Dean are back in the van, and they're driving towards Wisconsin. Sam relays what we learned earlier, which is that, you know, a clown went inside the house, and what happened afterwards was that the clown killed both the parents but left the daughter unharmed. The way he killed the parents was that you ripped them to pieces.

C: So I was thinking about what you said about if the case had anything to do with grief. And you know how they could have made the case good?

G: Yeah.

C: By having them interview the kids and have Sam connect with this child who feels guilty for her parents' deaths!

G: But I feel like that would be too in your face.

C: [laughing] But it would be better than this! Also, like, season 1 was full of in-your-face mirrors. Like, I think we can carry that energy through a little more.

G:Dean asks how they know this this isn't just a guy in a clown suit, and Sam says that all the clowns in the carnival earlier that day have alibis. And the girl actually said she saw the clown vanish into thin air. And Dean like, teases Sam, and this is when we know that Sam is afraid of clowns. Sam says, "Well, at least I'm not afraid of flying," and Dean says, "Well, planes crash," and Sam replies, "And apparently, clowns kill!" [C laughs] Sam proceeds on, saying that in 1981, there was a similar case with another circus. The circus is called the [in unison] Bunker Brothers! [both laugh] Sam and Dean are literally the bunker brothers. Back when that carnival was going around, that kind of murder happened three times in three different locales. Dean says, like, the different locales thing is weird because usually, ghosts stay put. And they think it's probably a cursed object. Dean comments on the fact that Sam jumped on this case real quickly, and Sam says, "Well, it's what Dad would have wanted. He would have wanted us to get back on the job." And Dean says, "Wow. Like, what Dad would want us to do?" And Sam says, "Yeah, so?" And Dean says, "Nothing."

C: I'm not really sure what Dean is thinking. Like, I know what Sam's thinking. He's guilty and he's just, you know, following John's wishes. I don't know what Dean's thinking.

G: Yeah, Dean is probably thinking that Sam either is guilty or that Sam wanted him to go out of Bobby's house. Sam is trying to drag him around. But either way, like, he thinks there's a hidden agenda happening, so that's why he's side-eyeing Sam.

C: Yeah.

C: So we're back at the carnival. We're at the funhouse, and there's some kid and his dad. He's not paying attention 'cause he's just like, playing a video game. So true, me too. And the dad's trying to get him excited about the situation, but he's not. But then, the boy looks up and sees in the reflection of the glass, the creepy clown waving at him. And he turns around, and the clown's gone. And then he's scared, but his dad says, "Don't be afraid of clowns. They're nice. They're your friends. Okay?" [laughs] This man's gonna regret those words so hard.

So it's at night, and it's Evan's parents bedroom. They're asleep. And Evan wakes his dad up, and he says, "You were right. He is my friend!" And the camera pans over to see the clown's hand holding Evan's. And it smiles at his parents, and the dad screams.

I think that was a good reveal. The pan over and the "You were right, he is my friend." Yeah.

G: - the hand. I actually was like, creeped out!

C: Yeah, me too.

G: Like "oh my god, that's kind of creepy."

C: Yeah, it was a good- the pacing was done quite well. But I also think it's so funny that since the clown was in no way able to influence these kids at all, like, Evan wouldn't even have let this guy in. He would have just been scared of him unless his dad said one sentence.

G: Okay, we get to the- [starts laughing] [C groans] Okay. So.

Sam and Dean drive to the carnival, and in the corner, they see, like, a couple of cops talking to some people. So Dean checks it out and Sam is waiting. Like, standing by a ride. And Supernatural does this thing where Sam- where a little person comes across the screen, and Sam is looking at her, right? And he's really looking at her. Like, he's fucking staring. And we zoom in on Sam's face, and then we zoom in on her face, and it's a whole thing.

C: Yeah.

G: And I was like [laughs] Supernatural, like, have you ever seen a little person before? Sam Winchester, have you ever seen a little person before? It's just- it's- I don't know. Was 2006- 2006 was a different time, but like, little person like, exist in the world, they don't just exist in media. Like, you see them around.

C: I- yeah, I guess the charitable reading would be that since she's in a clown outfit, he was trying to figure out if she was involved in the case, and also, he was scared of her because she was in a clown outfit, but like, I think Supernatural's just being fucking weird.

G: I think that is the charitable reading.

C: Right, 'cause at first I thought that's what was happening, 'cause I was like, "I don't understand what's happening; it must be because she was a clown outfit." And then I was like, "Oh, wait, Supernatural sucks. Nevermind." [laughs]

G: Anyway, Dean comes in and asks Sam, like, "Oh, did you get her number?" And then Sam, I don't know, makes a face, I guess?

C: Should I make an ableism tab on my spreadsheet?

G: [sighs] Are we, like, the people?

C: I don't know. Yeah, probably not. Is this also misogyny, though?

G: I feel like the source of the-

C: It's mostly ableism, I'd say. Yeah.

G: So, like, BABPod listeners, we're not gonna make a tally, but know that we see it, and we did not enjoy it. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Like, we will acknowledge it when it happens, so. But I just don't think we're the people specifically to be making this kind of call, I guess.

C: Yeah.

G: Okay, so Sam ignores that and asks about the murders, and Dean relays that there were new ones last night, the one we just saw. Dean says that "They had a little boy with them." And Sam says, "Who fingered a clown." [C screams] And then Dean takes a pause so we can laugh, I guess. But it's just- [laughing] it's not a funny joke! Like, I'm laughing right now because you're laughing-

C: It's just so weird.

G: - but like, when it actually happened, I had to replay it because like, I didn't get it. Like, I didn't get what was happening, so I had to replay it, and it was like, "Oh, okay. Do you think this is funny, John Shiban?" [laughs]

C: I don't- doesn't fingered also mean something else-?

G: Pointed at. It means pointed at. Like, that's what he means.

C: Yeah, okay, okay, right, so John Shiban just thought it would be funny to have the- yeah, okay.

G: I was confused.

C: I didn't laugh when it happened, but when you read the line, I like, [laughs] was like- it was just a funny sentence on its own, you know?

G: Dean confirms that there was a clown, and Sam starts talking about how cursed objects are like finding a needle in a needle stack, which I thought was a good metaphor for the situation. And Dean says, "Well we just have to check everything for EMF." And Sam scoffs, but Dean says, "Well, we'll blend in." And they zoom in on a sign saying, "Help Wanted: Inquire with J. Cooper." [laughs] You take this part, Crystal. [laughing]

C: Okay. [sighs] So this is- this sure- this is a scene that is about to happen. Yes, okay.

C: So we go into a tent, and there's a man wearing sunglasses throwing knives at a target, and they all land pretty close. And Dean says, "Excuse me, we're looking for Mr. Cooper. Have you seen him around?" And the guy turns around and says, "What is that? Some kind of joke?" And he takes off his sunglasses, and his eyes are cloudy, and Dean says, "Oh god, I'm sorry." And then the man continues, saying, like, "You think I wouldn't give my eyeteeth to see Mr. Cooper? Or a sunset? Or anything at all?" Sam is amused by the situation. And then another little person - not the one from before - comes in and says, "Is there a problem?" And the blind man - because he doesn't get a name in this episode, and so I guess that's just what we're calling him - says that "This guy hates blind people," and the little person says, "What's your problem?” And Dean says, "Nothing, it's just a little misunderstanding,” and the little person says, "Little? You son of a bitch!” And then Dean is just like, “Sorry, sorry, just please tell me where Mr. Cooper is, please?” So that's the scene. Okay. [laughs]

G: Yeah, okay.

So I've mentioned it before in the podcast but not in detail, but I'm also not gonna mention it in detail here just because I don't want to air out my health conditions, but I have a pretty visible health condition, right, and people like to make jokes about it, you know? And then, when you like, get defensive, they they do the whole like, "Why are you defensive?" bit or something. And like, I've experienced it both in real life and also like, I have watched like- like, I would be innocently like, watching a TV show and the TV show like, makes a joke at like, people like my people's expense, and it's like, "Oh, well, that sucks!" And it's incredibly humiliating. So like- and even then, like, even with that background, like, I can't imagine, like, the kind of humiliation that, like, for example, if you're a little person, and like, seeing this scene. Like, I just did not find it funny.

C: Yeah.

G: Especially the camera work, I guess. Like, they're- the part where like, they hear a voice, so they turn around, and the camera pans to Sam and Dean's height, and then it pans down just to show you that, oh, they're talking to a person who is short. And it's like, a part of me, like, when I was watching I was like, questioning like, "Am I overreacting?" right?

C: No. You are not.

G: 'Cause a part of me was like, I've had experiences of like, feeling humiliated by a medical condition. Because of that, is that the reason why I'm like, projecting into this? But I don't think so. I get that like, people are allowed to joke about everything, you know [laughs]. I don't want to be the person who's like, "People are not allowed to joke about this, this, this, this, and this." But because, like, we just see little people in this episode twice, and both times they like, highlight that fact, you know, about them.

C: Yeah, make a joke at their expense.

G: Yeah. It really frustrates me. It really frustrated me. And I physically had to stop watching because, like, I was like, so upset and like, I had to drink water to calm down.

C: The scene is also incredibly tonally jarring.

G: Yes.

C: Like, it does not fit the rest of the episode at all and it does pretty much nothing in the plot besides, I guess, introduce us to the blind man as a character, which could have been done in literally any other way. And- but also, the whole thing just played out like a comedy sketch on like, a right-wing TV channel about how the liberal snowflakes get offended by everything.

G: A part of me was like, "Did they ADR in Sam laughing because they realized the scene is not that funny [C laughs], so like, we have to have someone laughing in the background to convey to the audience that, like, 'No, you're supposed to be laughing here! Like, this is supposed to be a funny scene!'" It's just- it's not a good scene.

C: Well, that was.

G: It's there!

C: That sure happened on Supernatural.

C: Okay, so they go into Mr. Cooper's office, and he tells them to take a seat. There are two chairs available, and one has like, a giant clown on it. So Dean grabs the non-clown chair, and Sam, like, takes a second before he sits down in the clown chair because it scares him. [laughing] And I wish that this was a cursed object episode, both because it means that we wouldn't have cultural appropriation later, also because I really wanted the cursed object to be the clown chair.

So Mr. Cooper tells them that there's been some local trouble because a couple of folks "got themselves murdered." Deancore. [laughing] "You always have a choice! You can either lay down and die, or you can keep fighting." So he asks about their work experience, and they're like, "Oh, yeah, we've totally done the circus. We did all of the jobs, all the circus jobs, yeah!" Dean says, "We really need the work, and Sam here's got a thing for the bearded lady." Yay! We love... how many things is this? Misogyny, transphobia, and intersexism? And probably also homophobia?

G: [laughing] I fucking have no idea. Can we put it in the count, though?

C: Yeah, I think I'll just put it in the misogyny count because that's the one that we have a count for. Yeah, it's like, "it's so funny that anyone would ever have a thing for an intersex person, it's so funny that anyone would have a thing for like, a quote unquote 'ugly' or gender-non-conforming woman, it's gay that someone would have a thing for an intersex person-" there's like, so many things that Dean is saying.

And then, Mr. Cooper, out of fucking nowhere, goes into this spiel where he's like, "My dad was in the business" - and apparently, his dad looks just like him, that's like, sort of plot-relevant. He says, "He ran a freak show till they outlawed them most places. Apparently, displaying the deformed isn't dignified. So most of the performers went from honest work to rotting in hospitals and asylums. That's progress, I guess.” And this whole scene, you see Sam and Dean frowning and shaking their heads-

G: Yes!

C: - to show they disagree with disability rights?! [both laughing]

G: It's just confusing to me because like, I know that this person is wrong, but Supernatural is really trying to convince that, "No, this person is right!" Like, "These people were doing honest work and the work was taken away!" [C screams silently] And I'm sure there were experiences where that is true, you know.

C: Yeah.

G: Like, not all experiences are the same. But I think you should take this one, because you're the one who-

C: Yeah, I mean I just read a few PDFs. So yeah, I am not an expert on this subject, and I am also able-bodied, but like, from like, the bits of reading that I did yesterday- okay. So like,

the truth in Mr. Cooper’s statement is that, like, there was a time when like, this was basically the only work that a lot of disabled people could get, and it is true that some of them actually did become quite rich off of this work, so like, there are like, cases where like, in some ways, this was good for individuals. But also like, the idea of being able to consent to this kind of work means that- like, meaningful consent requires you to have like, options, you know? So if there's not an option, that's not really it. And also like, because this was the only work, oftentimes, even if they were paid decently, there was a lot of exploitative working hours. Also, like, a lot of them weren't paid decently. And also like, the whole concept of the freak show is that "you are weird," that is sensationalized and marketed, yeah, and then people go around and gawk at you in a dehumanizing way. Often like, in a physically violating way too, like, poking at you, all of that. So it's just really not a good thing in general.

Also, freak shows had a big impact on the ways that people viewed disabled people in Western society because, like, basically, the only times that you would see a lot of disabled people in public- yeah, so like, it's just a situation where the only time that you're encountering disabled people outside of like, hospitals and stuff is like, through these shows where there are people like, hawking their disabilities as like, something to look at. Also, these shows were like, sometimes encouraged- like, you were encouraged to go to them by like, the clergy, because they thought it'd be like a good moral experience for you to like, feel pity for these poor souls, [G sighs] and also feel good that like, you're not one of them. It's just so... it's just such a fucking... it's just such a fucking thing. Also, a lot of them were recruited as children, it's just, yeah, a really bad thing.

And I guess I should also mention that in addition to like, disabled people, a lot of people of color were also part of freak shows, so like.

G: Yes. There were instances of like, Filipino children, mostly, like, being taken to the United States, or like, you know, other quote unquote "Western" countries and being displayed as like, "Look at the Filipino child!" Like, these are things that happened in history.

C: Yeah.

G: Post-edit Grey here- I was mistaken. I said "Filipino children," I actually was supposed to say "Filipino tribes," which does involve children, but specifically, it was the Filipino indigenous people who were taken for world fair purposes and human zoo exhibitions. Yep!

C: Yeah. And I know, like, I think there's like, a specific case of a South African woman named Sarah Baartman who had steatopygia, which is, I think, a pretty common genetic trait among the San tribe, but yeah, she was like, taken around like, for display a lot because she just had like, large buttocks and, like, her image really helped canonize the image of black women as hypersexual and foreign, otherized, and dehumanized in the Western world. And after she died, they like- like, France, like, kept her remains, and they like, specifically kept her genitals for like, display in like, museums and for like, scientific stuff, and they didn't give up her remains back to her home country until 200 years afterwards. So like, yeah. Just- the entire practice was extremely dehumanizing, and even if there were some individuals who were disabled who benefited financially from the situation, like, overall, the effect on society was absolutely horrendous, the sentiments behind it were absolutely horrendous, and I guess the laws around them around banning them like, were, I think, like, the negative effects came because there weren't additional laws to like, create employment opportunities and social safety nets for disabled people that came along with those laws, but the laws themselves like, were a good thing.

Yeah, anyway, so I guess Mr. Cooper continues talking and says that "This place is a refuge for outcasts, for folks that don't fit in anywhere else.” Sure, bro.

G: I guess they're trying to do like, "Sam and Dean are also outcasts. They don't fit in anywhere else!"

C: [laughing] Ugh. You know in Glee where it's like, "You're all minorities. You're in the Glee club!" [G laughs] You're all outcasts. You're hunters!

And if they were actually outcasts, then maybe you would show them being regular about everyone in the carnival!

He tells them that they should "go to school, find a couple of girls" - like, multiple each, I guess, "have 2.5 kids, live regular." And Sam like, leans forward all intensely and goes, "Sir, we don't wanna go to school! And we don't want regular! We want this!" [laughs] Okay, cool.

G: So Sam and Dean get out of the office and are now walking around. Dean asks Sam about the "don't want to go back to school" remark, and he asks if Sam is just saying that or actually saying it. And Sam says he doesn't know, but he's having second thoughts because Dad would have wanted him to stick around with the job. Dean says, "Since when did you give a damn about what Dad wants? You've always wanted to do the opposite of what he wants." And Sam says, "Since he died, okay?" Sam asks, "You got a problem with that?" Dean says, "No. No problem at all."

We then go to Sam working the job, picking up trash. And he has like, a little earphone. Cute. He's not listening to MCR. [C laughs] He's listening to the EMF. So that's unfortunate.

He enters the mirror funhouse and starts EMF-ing the place, at first to no avail, but then a skeleton falls in front of him and freaks him out of it. So he calls Dean, who is working the job as well, picking up trash, throwing it away. Sam sounded like, a bit off. Dean cracks a "you sound like you just saw a clown!" joke. And Sam says like, "Shut up! And it was a skeleton, actually. In the funhouse." And Dean asked if it's a real human skeleton, and Sam says, like, "What if the spirit is not attached to a cursed object, it's attached to the remains."

I don't know, have you seen an actual skeleton?

C: I don't know. Probably not.

G: I have because, like, I have siblings who work in the medical field, and, like, when they have classes, they like, take home, like, a box of skeletons. Pretty cool!

C: Nice, yeah.

G: I just wanted to mention that. [laughing] I have no commentary whatsoever. [C laughs] I just thought it was cool.

C: It is pretty cool.

G: Literally like, I would be like, ten years old, or like, you know, like, I don't fucking know. Twelve, maybe. And just sitting in the garage like, holding up the rib bones or whatever. It's pretty cool!

C: That does sound cool. My comment on the scenes is that Mr. Cooper was like, "This place is only for creeps and weirdos!" and then their job is picking up trash at an amusement

park. [both laugh]

G: Yeah.

Dean heads to Sam, but before he can go, he gets stopped by the blind man from earlier, who asks Dean what he's doing. Dean says, like, "I'm sweeping," and the man calls bullshit. He overheard the EMF and skeleton talk. And Dean says, "Dude, your blind man hearing is out of control!"

C: [sighs] Literally, why couldn't you just say "hearing"? I don't understand.

G: The man says that he doesn't like outsiders, and they - as in like, the collective group - don't like outsiders, and they deal with their problems by themselves. Dean asks - like, out of fucking nowhere, I don't know why the conversation went to this, I don't understand - but he asks like, "Do you believe in ghosts?" and says that him and Sam are writing a book about it.

When Sam and Dean reunite, they see a girl in the crowd tell her mom that she's seeing a clown, but they go to look, and there's no clown there. So they follow this family [both laughing] to their home.

C: In their squeakyass minivan!

C: Sam tells Dean like, "I can't believe you told Papazian about the homicidal phantom clown."

G: Is that a name or a reference?

C: Yeah, see that's what I'm not sure about because, like, if it's like, a reference to like, a blind like, TV character, I don't want to be using this as his name.

Okay yeah, yeah, no, the Supernatural wiki calls him Barry Papazian, so yeah. Okay, so he has a name, but the transcript just didn't give it to us like as his dialogue tag. Okay.

So yeah. His name is Barry Papazian; I guess, I'll just call him Barry. Okay. So yeah, Sam tells Dean that he can't believe that he told Barry about the phantom clown, but Dean says that, "Oh, I just told him it was an urban legend, it's cool." And he starts pulling out a gun and pointing it at this poor family's house, and Sam's like, "Keep that down!"

And then Dean says that apparently, Mr. Cooper worked for the Bunker Brothers Circus before he owned Cooper Carnival, so it's likely that whatever the spirit's attached to, Cooper just brought it with him. Dean has fallen asleep later on, but then the light goes on in the house, and this little girl also just lets a fucking clown into her house, asking him, "Wanna come in and play?" [laughs] What, like, at midnight? How is she still awake? Don't you have school tomorrow, little girl?

So she leads the clown in, and we pan over and see that Sam and Dean have snuck into the house and are waiting behind a corner with their weapons ready. The little girl is leading the clown to her parents' bedroom, and then Sam jumps out and grabs the girl to get her out of the way as Dean keep shooting the clown in the chest with rock salt. It falls down, but keeps going, and then jumps out of the window and turns invisible. As it does that, the parents run out, and they're like, "What the fuck are you doing? Get away from my daughter?" The dad's like, wearing this white tank top that like, shows off his arms pretty well, [G starts laughing] and you have created the sentence "Is this fanservice?" in my mind every time something like this happens-

G: No!

C: But I don't think it is 'cause it's like, a very quick shot. [laughs] So Sam and Dean leave the girl behind and run away really fast, and she says, "Mommy, Daddy, they shot my clown!"

G: So we go to Sam and Dean in the middle of the road. Well, not in the middle. In the side of the road. And they are taking the plates off of the van and taking their stuff and leaving the van behind.

Okay, they start walking away and they talk about the case. The rock salt hit the clown pretty hard, so that was something solid. It's not a spirit. Sam thinks it may be a person or a creature that can induce invisibility, and Sam like, gets out his phone to call Ellen or Ash, and asks Dean the thing that we mentioned earlier, which is like, the hints of John/Ellen shenanigans. [C laughs]

Dean says that "No way, no way that they were a thing." And Sam asks, "Then why did he not tell us about her?" Dean's like, "I don't know. Maybe a falling out?" And Sam says, "Do you ever notice that Dad has a falling out with just about everybody?" And Dean goes silent.

Sam tells Dean, "Don't go all maudlin on me." And I thought maudlin was a name, so I looked it up, and apparently, it's an actual word, and it's a pretty cool word! Maudlin. Good word.

"This strong, silent thing of yours is crap. I'm over it," Sam says. Dean says, like, "Oh, god," you know, his usual Dean "oh, god." And Sam continues on, saying that "This is Dad. I know how you felt about the man." Dean says, "Shut up. Just because I'm not caring and sharing like you want me to-" And Sam says, "I don't care how you deal with it, I just want you to deal with it. I'm your brother, and I just want to make sure you're okay." Dean starts shouting. He says, "I'm okay! The next person who asks me if I'm okay, I'm gonna start throwing punches."

C: Words from an okay person.

G: Dean says like, "These are your issues, man. Quit dumping that on me." And Sam asks like, "What does that mean? What do you mean?" And Dean continues. He says that Sam fought John all his life, and even in John's last moments, they were fighting. And only now did he start thinking about what John would want. He says, "Now that he's dead, now, you want to make it right? Well, I'm sorry, but you can't. It's too little, too late." Sam asks quietly, "Why are you saying this to me?" And Dean says, "Because I want you to be honest with yourself, man! I'm dealing with Dad's death. Are you?" They stare at each other furiously, and then Sam says, "I'm gonna call Ellen."

C: I can't believe Dean's saying Sam's the one in the wrong here [laughs], and he has to make it right with John, but I understand where he's coming from. He's mourning.

G: I don't think like, he's saying that like, Sam is wrong. I think he's just saying that like, "this is what you think is happening," which is that you were in the wrong. Like, you know, like, he's not siding with someone right now. He's just verbalizing what Sam is thinking.

C: Yeah, okay. But okay, I feel like earlier, when Dean was talking to Sam and being like, "Oh, did you really mean it that you like, don't want to go back to school?" I think my reading of that part - or my charitable reading of that part - was that Dean desperately wants Sam to get out of the life now that John is dead because it means he's less likely to go darkside, which means it's less likely that Dean's gonna have to kill him, but I don't- I don't know if that's in here at all.

G: I actually thought about that as well, but I, like, retracted it from my notes because I think like, Dean doesn't really know what the fuck John was saying, still, at this point.

C: Yeah.

G: So like, it's not consciously in his mind that like, "Sam is gonna go darkside." Like, he's they just thinking, "What a weird thing Dad told me!" you know. [C laughs]

C: Right before Azazel mysteriously murdered him and Dad had no idea it was gonna happen!

Sam has finished talking to Ellen and says that Ellen thinks that the creature is a Rakshasa. He says [laughing], "It's a race of ancient Hindu creatures." Okay. Go Supernatural again.

I didn't do that much background research on the creature, but I know that they're found in multiple religions besides just Hinduism and that I think they're like, a bit more complex them Supernatural makes them out to be, like, sometimes they are like, heroes and strong warriors, sometimes they're evil. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot going on, but, overall I just think it's kind of shitty- it's- I don't think it's the worst thing Supernatural’s ever done, but like, eugh.

G: I think, you know, like, it's fine for a horror show to take elements from other cultures other than the ones present predominantly in where they are located.

C: Yeah.

G: I think that's all right. Like, I don't think every single creature that Supernatural takes from, it's like, a sin that they're taking from the culture. But, you know, this creature literally could have been anything because it literally does not matter what it was. Like, that's not the point of episode. So a part of me is like, when you're taking from something, you know, like, put some effort in, you know? Like [laughs], just throw +2 effort in this scenario. [both laugh] So that's more my complaint than the fact that they're taking from a culture. Like, if you are gonna take from some lore, like, try to make it matter more, I guess.

C: I think maybe I was more sensitive, because it's like, when I googled the creature to like, learn more about them, like, the first two like, results were like, a D&D Wiki page and like, a Forgotten Realms wiki page, so it's like, this is a creature that like, a lot of different media properties have taken in for their own, and like, it's just kind of- I don't know it makes me sad that, like, it's been so divorced from the original cultural context that, like, the first result is the D&D page for them, you know?

So he explains that they're in human form, they eat humans, they can make themselves invisible, and they can't enter a home without first being invited.

G: Isn't this, like, the lore of-

C: [laughing] That's basically vampires, right?

G: Yeah, yeah.

C: Yeah, but I guess, they were like, "We're making our vampires special, so we have to make up new things that are also vampires but not vampires." [laughs]

I think- I think a vamp- wait, sorry, I was about to say "I think a vampire dressing up as a clown would be cool," but then I remembered the Supernatural finale. [both laughing]

G: Noo! No! No.

C: Yeah, no, but I feel like vampires dressing up as clowns to become invited into homes is like, a fun idea.

G: If, like, the vampires are like, actually dressed up as actual clowns, and not just wearing a clown face-

C: Yeah.

G: It's like, like, if you're gonna become a clown, commit to the bit, you know. [C laughs] Put on the clown makeup. Don't put on a mask.

C: [laughing] Me recording this podcast. [both laughing]

G: Literally us recording this podcast. Committing to the bit.

C: Dean asks why they don't just eat the kids, and Sam's like, "I don't know. Not enough meat on the bones, maybe?" [laughing] Like, they don't try to explain this more at all later, it's just like, we know that Supernatural didn't want to show child murder. Also, apparently, also they sleep on a bed of dead insects, and they have to feed a few times every 20 or 30 years. So they think that it's probably Cooper 'cause he was working both shows, and that picture of that father that looks just like him, maybe that just straight up was him. And apparently, you kill these creatures with a dagger made of pure brass. And Sam says, "Before we started stabbing things, we should make sure it's him," and Dean jokingly goes, “Oh, you're such a stickler for details, Sammy." And they sort of smile at each other, so you get the sense that, like, despite their big fight they're still okay in a way. So they head to the carnival.

G: Also like, I wanna- I just want to say, like, for Deangirls, like, I did notice the nail-biting, you know.

C: What?

G: This scene has it. Like, there's a scene, where like, Dean like, bites his nails.

C: Oh. Why does that matter?

G: [laughs] You literally do not care. [both laugh] No, it's just- it's like, it shows nervousness, you know, it shows agitation, it like-

C: Oh, right. Dean has feelings. Correct. [laughs]

G: Yeah. It's giffed a lot, you know? That scene. And also this scene in general, this scene of them walking down the road is in a lot of like, season 2 moodboard type of scenarios.

C: Yeah, that makes sense.

G: So this is like, a scene that like, people know.

C: Okay, yeah. Well, congratulations Deangirls.

G: Congratulations to oral fixation Dean Winchester truthers. [C laughs] Literally, Sigmund Freud would be so proud.

C: Inside the carnival, Sam's going into Cooper's trailer to check on his bed. Meanwhile, Dean is going with Barry to the tent 'cause Dean's asking him if he has a pure brass knife.

Sam slices open the mattress, doesn't look very bug-filled, and also, Cooper is there, pointing a gun at him, going, "What do you think you're doing?"

Meanwhile, Barry tells Dean to go in and check the trunk. He opens it, and there's a red clown wig. He turns around and goes, “You?” And Barry drops his cane, pulls off his sunglasses, and then his eyes, like, uncloud- or no, his eyes are like, uncloudy, and he says, "Me.” And then he, like, becomes invisible and his eyes are glowing in the air. Ugh. Okay. Cool.

G: [laughs] Cool. Anyway, Dean starts banging on the door and he's trying to get out, but can't. He gets tossed around a bit. When he eventually gets out, he comes across - and I wrote in my notes, quote, "Sam," because I thought this was like, gonna be a bluff.

C: Barry, yeah!

G: Yeah. But it's not. It's literally just - they don't even do a whole "he changes shape!" Like, they literally don't. So does that mean that Barry, like, every single night puts on literal clown makeup and clown wig because-

C: [laughing] Yes. Yes.

G: Jesus Christ.

C: That's dedication.

G: The effort... literally, the fucking dedication.

Dean relays that it's, you know, Barry who's the Rakshasa, and that he didn't get the brass blades. So Sam says he's got an idea, and he enters the funhouse. They both do. And, as they are walking - well, running, I guess, inside - they get separated by a wall and Sam tells him, "Go find the maze!" What? Like, this entire scene, I was like-

C: Yeah.

G: "What is happening?" I know it's not the point of the episode so that's why they don't like, linger on the case that much and don't like, flesh it out properly, but you can not flesh out the case and it still be interesting, you know? So the fact that this one is so subpar is just really disappointing.

C: [laughs] Yeah. Well.

G: Like, what do you mean "go find the maze"? Like, "go find me in the maze"? Is that what he's trying to say? And like, how does he know that there's brass - there's like a brass instrument inside?

C: Yeah! It's just an organ, how do you tell what the metal in it is?

G: Anyway, they both walk around, and Sam finds the like, organ. And it has steam coming out of it, and he tries to pry apart a piece of it to stab the Rakshasa with. Dean finds him eventually, and I was like, in my notes, quote "Dean" [C laughs] 'cause I thought it was gonna be a bluff.

C: Ugh, I wish.

G: But alas, it's literally not a bluff.

C: I had two thoughts on Sam grabbing the steam pipes. One was - do you remember that later seasons like, scene that gets screenshotted [laughing] of Sam taking, like, a tray out of the oven with his bare hands?

G: [laughing] Yeah, literally! [both laughing] I think it was a pot of pasta, yeah. And he's like, taking it out of the stovetop.

C: Yeah. Sam!

G: It's like, Sam! Completely barehanded.

And like, do you know the context of that episode?

C: No, what is it?

G: Like, the context was that Chuck took away their main character powers so they're just normal people now.

C: Ohh.

G: So like, you're supposed to think that all of this time, [C laughing] Sam literally would just grab hot objects and be like, "It's fine! It's a hot object but it's not that bad." And like, now that Chuck took away their powers, he's like, "Ouch! Yeowch!" Like, alright, sure!

C: [laughing] That's so funny.

Yeah, and my second thought was “Jimmy Novak core.”

G: [laughing] Literally Jimmy Novak core.

G: Dean finds him eventually, right, and Dean says that "Shouldn't the guy like- the guy's clothes float around?" And then, as, you know, Sam is taking out the brass object, Dean gets sent to the wall by a couple of knives, and so the Rakshasa is around, and-

C: And completely nude.

G: [laughs] Compl- wait, no!

C: I know.

G: Wait. We'll get into it later. But Sam eventually gets a piece of brass, and he asks Dean, "Where is the man? Where's the man?" And then Dean reaches out for a switch, which I thought was going to make it rain, I mean like, you know, like, sprinkle water around, but it doesn't. It makes this theme from the brass organ go... boom boom? [C laughs] [laughing] I have no idea what's happening in this scene!

C: There's just a lot of steam now. There's more of it than before.

G: Yeah, there's a lot of steam now. That's what's important. And the steam causes them to be able to see the figure and the silhouette of the Rakshasa. Sam stabs him, and then he dies, and then Sam and Dean stand over the body, and they see that it has disappeared. And clothes are left behind, right? Am I- did I-

C: [laughing] No, I know he's clothed, but I feel like the implication of Dean going like, "Shouldn't we see his clothes around?" and then you see a knife being thrown, I feel like the viewer's supposed to think for a second, "Is he naked?"

G: Noo! But anyway, like, this entire scene was so anticlimactic.

C: Yeah, it was not good.

G: And I was like, "Okay. Sure."

C: Wow, it just happened to be a brass pipe, and you stabbed him. Yayy.

G: Yeah.

C: So now we're back at the Roadhouse, and Ellen's congratulating them. So Jo sits down at the bar, and then she like, looks at Sam and smiles at him a lot. And apparently, that was supposed to be a signal for him to go away, but it kinda just looked like she was flirting with Sam, right?

G: I literally was like, "Oh, she's flirting Sam up?" And I know that Deanjo is more the thing, but like, in this moment, I was like, "Wait. Sam and Jo? What?" But apparently not, she's just asking him to go away, which like, okay, sure.

C: Yeah. I could not tell that that was the social signals being put out.

G: I literally could not tell. I literally could not tell. Like, if I was Sam in that moment, I would be like, "Jo is into me." [both laugh] Literally.

C: I'd be like, giggling and twirling my hair, like, "Oh my god, me? Jo? Yeah! Here's my number!"

Right, so Sam goes, “Oh, yeah, I-I have to go... over there. Right now." And because I still thought that this was Jo flirting with Sam I was like, "Sam gay aro moments again?" [both laugh] But no.

G: Sam good brother moments.

C: Yeah. So Jo says to Dean, "So, am I gonna see you again?" And Dean says, "Do you want to?" And Jo says, "I wouldn't hate it."

I don't get- whatever. You said Dean's a handsome man, and apparently, many people think that, so I guess that's all I have to understand [laughs]. So Dean says, "Can I be honest with you? See, normally, I'd be hitting on you so fast, it would make your head spin."

G: What a weird thing to say!

C: What a weird thing to say, Dean.

G: "I would be hitting on you so hard right now. Like, your head will be spinning." Like, why?

C: "You will be decapitated because of how staunch my sexual advances on you would be." [both laughing] Yeah, and he says, "These days, I don't know." And she says, "Wrong place, wrong time?" He says, "Yeah." She says, "Okay, I get it."

And Ash comes in with the folder and a chunkyass laptop. And he says - oh, also, he's like, wearing a vest over like, no shirt or anything.

G: Yeah, and his nipples are out! [C laughs] Good for him.

C: Yeah, good for him! What a lad. And he says that he's been waiting for them 'cause he has figured out John's whole thing. And he shows them that his code says that the demon's nowhere around, but as soon as he does show up, he'll know. He says, "I'm on it like Divine on dog dookie"? Did you understand what that was supposed to mean?

G: I have no fucking idea. Let's look it up.

C: Let's look at the Wiki, yeah.

G: It's from a thing called Pink Flamingos, "a post-modern exploitation comedy, or strictly speaking, camp film." Wow.

C: Wow.

G: Divine is like, a criminal and then picks up dog poop, I guess?

C: And eats it? The Wiki says that he eats it.

G: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

C: Okay. Alright.

G: Cool!

C: Thanks Ash! Okay.

G: Cool. Hashtag postmodernism.

C: Yeah.

If any new signs or omens appear anywhere in the world, then like, his program is gonna go off. The GUI for this like, program is like, very good for something that he's made in only 51 hours. And like, it has to like, constantly be like, checking the Web, right? I wonder, like, how often it updates.

Anyway, [laughs] so Dean reaches for the laptop to try to take a look. Ash is like, "Uh-uh, you're not touching my baby." And Dean like, pulls his hand back and is like, "Yeah."

Sam asks where Ash learned to do all this, and apparently, he did that at MIT before he got kicked out for fighting. And Sam says, "MIT?" And Ash says, "It's a school in Boston." [laughs]

G: The thing is, the way Sam says MIT really pissed me off. Like, he says it so judgmentally, like, condescendingly.

C: Right.

G: And I was like, "Sam, come on."

C: Sam, come on.

G: You're literally, like, you should know better, knowing you're- you were in Stanford and it was like, a major plot point that you didn't fit in because of class issues.

C: Yeah.

G: So the fact that he's like, being like this to Ash is like, "Sam." But I guess like, Sam’s perspective was more assimilation, right?

C: Yeah. I feel like if Sam wasn't so judgmental they could have connected over their college experiences a bit, but I guess not.

And Dean tells Ash, to give them a call as soon as they know- as soon as he knows something. He takes a sip of his beer and sets it down, and then Ash picks it up and drinks it. Like, that's Hays Code for sex, right?

G: [laughs] Literally Hays Code.

C: Like, they fucked.

So Sam and Dean head out, and Ellen says like, "Hey, if you need somewhere to stay, like, I have a few beds here." And Dean says, "Thanks, but no. There's something I've gotta finish."

G: So Dean is in the yard again, Bobby's yard, and he's finishing up the car. Sam approaches him, and-

C: - you can see his nipples through his thin gray T-shirt. [both laugh]

G: He says, "Dean, you were right. And I'm sorry that the last time I was with him, I tried to pick a fight. I'm sorry that I spent most of my life angry at him, and he probably died thinking I hate him." He admits that Dean is also right about the fact that it's "Too little, too late," and that he misses John, and he's guilty as hell, and he's not alright. But neither is Dean. He leaves, and Dean paces around, and then-

C: Whoo!

G: - picks up a crowbar and smashes the window of the Impala! He starts hitting the trunk of the Impala over and over and over again until there's a fucking hole in the trunk hood. And then he stands still, and we're just lingering on his face. And his lips are wobbling. He's- we're getting full acting in this scene. [C laughs] And then we hear guitar sounds start, and then we cut to black. That's how the episode ends.

C: Yep.

G: Should we mention the "In Memory of Peter Ellis," or is that irrelevant?

C: I don't think Peter Ellis cares that much about what we think about his death. [both laugh]

G: Well, I hope he's resting in peace.

C: Yeah, that's true.

G: Yeah, he directed [in unison] "Bloody Mary" and "The Benders." Which were both good episodes direction-wise, so.

C: Yeah. Thanks, Peter.

G: What did you think about the crowbar scene?

C: Um, 'cause there is a charitable reading that like, Dean hasn't been dealing with his emotions and now that like, Sam said that, he's like, "Okay, I will deal with my emotions, but like, this is how I get- how I deal with them." But I don't think that's what's happening, right? [laughs]

G: What do you think was happening?

C: [laughing] I mean, I think he's just an angry little man with access to a crowbar.

G: I think, like, of course it's related to the grief and everything.

C: Hurting Baby, like, specifically is probably an act of self-hatred.

G: I just think like, just cry! [both laugh] Why do you have to be so violent?

C: Yeah, like, that's Baby!

G: I thought you didn't care about the car, huh? Huh?

C: I... I didn't like when there was an entire whole in the trunk. Like, up until that point, I was like, "Whatever," and then like, I saw that you could see through the trunk, and I was like, "Wait, no!"

Is Dean better after this episode? Like, do you think it helped?

G: I mean, I hope so. You are set back a couple of hours maybe because of this hole in the back of the car. I hope it fucking helped. [C laughs]

Yeah. What did you think about this episode?

C: Um, well. I sent you “I hate Supernatural” in Discord three times in a row while watching it. [both laughing]

G: The thing is like, the brothers stuff are alright, you know. Like, the grief stuff are alright. The case was so weak that it takes out so much of the enjoyment that you could possibly have with this episode.

C: Right. It's like, what, "Why do I care about any of the emotional parts? It's literally written by John Shiban who wrote the rest of this."

G: Okay. Best Line/Worst Line. What's your best line?

C: Hm. I liked, you know, Sam's ending thing. Like, "I miss him, and... and I feel guilty as hell, and I'm not alright, not at all. But neither are you."

G: Yeah. It's a good line. I think I'll ride on your best line. Like yeah, that is the thesis of the episode that like, "I miss him, etc., and I'm not alright, but neither are you." Like, that's the whole point of what they're trying to build up to and culminate towards. So best line. Yeah.

C: What does Sam miss about John?

G: I think, you know, you can miss people, just the general idea of them.

C: Yeah, I guess.

G: Like, it doesn't have to be specific.

What do you think is the worst line of this episode?

C: I mean, the whole, like, freak show, honest work, blah blah blah blah blah, I don't wanna say it again.

G: I really hated the part with the- with Barry and the little person, the little man. Sam laughing, like that pissed me off a lot. The fact that they were like, "We have to have someone laughing in the background!" So like, not the line specifically, but just the laughter. I hated it, so that's the worst line.

C: Yeah, the line "hahahahaha" is the worst line.

G: The line "hahahahaha." Yes, exactly. [C laughs]

IMDB rating.

C: [laughing] This better be low. It better be low.

G: I will go for an 8.4.

C: Okay. I will go for an 8.2.

G: Oh my god!

C: What?

G: You got it straight on.

C: Oh my god! Yay, good. It should have been below an 8, but at least it is sort of low.

G: Let's see what people thought about it.

C: [laughs] I don't think I'm going to enjoy what people say about it.

G: Yeah, I just- I thought it would be higher because of the whole, like, the grief part was actually pretty good, so.

C: Yeah. But I also know that a lot of fans like, hated Jo at the time.

G: Oh, no.

C: Yeah. So I was like-

G: I mean, she's not given much this episode, so I don't see why- how someone could could hate or like her yet.

C: Yeah.

G: You know. It goes both ways that she's not really like, a character - a fully fleshed-out character yet, yeah. Do you have any particular feelings about Ellen and Jo, by the way, and Ash? Do you have expectations for their character?

C: I know that, like, Ellen and Jo's death scene is gonna be very emotional to watch. I guess I don't know that much else besides like, Jo's, like, "I was a freak with a knife collection!" line. [laughs]

G: I thought you would enjoy the whole, like, Jo and Ellen having a drinking game with Cas thing.

C: Oh my god, Jo, you're right, I forgot about that one! Yes. I do like that. And I liked that they were like, in the family photo scene.

G: Yes! Oh my fucking god! [laughing] [in unison] The family photo!

I miss Cas so much.

C: Me too.

G: He's literally in the family photo!

C: He's just standing there!

G: He's literally just standing there.

He's standing there with his little face and his little trenchcoat. I love him so much. Okay. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Called corny by an IMDB user. I'm sorry, guys.

C: One of these reviews is just titled "A Good Show." Are we sure about that? [both laugh]

G: No. It's absolutely not.

This one review talks about how Jo eventually becomes like, a sister figure for Dean, so like, the introduction feels a little off.

C: Yeah.

G: I think, you know, relationships evolve. It doesn't have to be like, you see someone as a sister figure- like, you don't- you know what I mean. I don't fucking know.

C: Yeah. No, I get it.

G: Relationships evolve, so like, if it starts off like, "we have romantic feelings," and then later on, it's like, really strongly platonic, that's okay. I don't see the problem in that.

G: I think that's it for this episode of Busty Asian Beauties. Next time, we will be talking about Season 2, Episode 3: “Bloodlust.” Leave us a rating or review wherever you get your podcasts.

C: Follow us on social media! We are on Twitter at twitter.com/BeautiesPodcast and on Tumblr at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com. Our official tag is #BABPod, B-A-B-pod. Thank you to everyone who's donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod.

G: You can email us any feedback, comments, or inquiries at [email protected]. See you guys next time! [both] Bye!

[guitar music]

#transcript

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slipping-through-my-fingertips · 3 years

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Thought You Liked Me Too

Part 1 of Not the One series.

Summary: Blaine is just starting at NYADA, spies Kurt Hummel, and promptly falls in love. One issue, Kurt is dating the lead singer of the acapella group Blaine wants to join.

Notes: Partly inspired by Maisie Peters’ song “John Hughes Movie”

Read Part 2 here

AO3

Blaine tells his friends that the first time he saw Kurt Hummel was at the club they frequent.

When they tease him about his little crush, it’s everything straight out of his daydreams. Dancing with Kurt in the middle of a dancefloor not caring who’s watching, foreheads pressed together breathing in each other’s air, and being able to lean in anytime he wants to kiss him.

Except none of those daydreams are true and none of those friends are really Blaine’s friends.

Sam made friends with a bunch of upperclassmen who had connections to get the pair of roommates fake IDs. Callbacks was a primarily NYADA scene so the NYU students wanted nothing to do with it. Blaine had spent the last weeks of summer hanging out with Sam’s NYU friends exploring the city by day and clubbing at The Lion’s Den at night.

He knew once he started school some of his weekend nights would be spent here and others at Callbacks. Hopefully, Blaine Anderson could make friends at NYADA as easily as Sam had at NYU.

It had only taken two days before Sam came back to their apartment talking Blaine’s ear off about a group of guys he spent orientation with, “seriously dude, Dante and I are like long-lost twins.”

Blaine thought the same thing about him and Sam.

“That’s great, Sam.”

“We’re going out tonight. They want me to meet the rest of the group.”

Blaine was still scrolling through his phone, checking his emails again to make sure he hadn’t missed anything from school. They sent out orientation day schedules when he and Sam went grocery shopping yesterday. Ever since Blaine’s been slightly on edge. Maybe he should update his email notification preferences?

“You have to come!” Sam exclaimed, jumping onto the couch. “Please, Blaine! You’re my best bud. I want you to meet them.”

“I don’t know Sam…they’re your classmates.”

“Come on! It’ll be fun.”

It never took much to cave to Sam. Not when he made his lips so pouty.

“Fine, when and where?”

“Yes!” Sam did an air fist bump. “9 at the Lion’s Den.”

Then, Sam disappeared into his bedroom.

“The Lion’s Den,” Blaine murmured. “Doesn’t sound threatening at all.”

Blaine came to learn that The Lion’s Den was always crowded. Even on weeknights. From trivia night to karaoke to wing specials, everyone had a reason to be here. Not to mention their cheap drinks. If you wanted a fun, inexpensive buzz this was the perfect place.

Their lenient ID policy helped too.

The story of his first Kurt Hummel sighting went something like this: Spinning around on his barstool, after ordering himself a vodka coke and getting a weird look from the bartender, to admire the decor. Dark blue walls with high ceilings. Metal lion heads at every corner. Plenty of multicolored lights dancing over the patrons.

That’s when he saw him.

Bright blue eyes in a sea of dancers. Pushing his way out of the center of the dance floor.

He tells their friends for weeks to come that it was Kurt’s silver shirt that caught his attention that night. Blaine hadn’t known anyone could pull off such a color. It appeared to be made of silk and doused in glitter with the way it shined under the colorful lights in the club.

But that’s all fiction. A story he created because he was laughably bad at hiding his feelings. It took four days after he spun this tale for Tina and Angie to ask questions over lunch. By this point, Blaine had already had his heart broken by Kurt but kept up pretenses for the girls.

What’s his name?

Who’s got you smiling like that?

Someone put a twinkle in your eyes.

Tell us. Tell us. Tell us.

Even when Blaine knew there was no hope, his heart held on. Kurt Hummel had left his mark on him from just one measly conversation. So, he lied and told them he had a crush on some guy he saw at the club. A guy he didn’t speak to and would never see again. A guy whose name would never leave his lips.

Tina called him a hopeless romantic. Angie insisted Blaine would see him again.

If only she had known how right she was. Kurt Hummel wasn’t just some guy he saw in passing. Kurt had actually been at the bar that night dressed in that exact shirt but it wasn’t the first time Blaine had seen him.

Actually, Kurt went to his school. Not that any of Sam’s friends knew that—they all attended NYU. Blaine’s pretty sure they’re just tolerating him tagging along to their hangouts because of Sam. With the exception of Tina and Angie. They were the only ones who sought Blaine out—asked him to lunch. But even their friendship wasn’t solid. They had just met a few weeks ago when Sam started orientation.

A bunch of freshmen all desperate for friends in the big city. Who knows if it would last ‘til Thanksgiving. Now that school had officially started for them, they would surely get busy and Blaine’s feelings would be lost in the hustle and bustle of student life. The girls would forget about him and if he was lucky, Blaine would forget about Kurt.

Except, the real first time Blaine saw him was at NYADA. It was actually on the first day of school, four days before he saw Kurt’s silver shirt amongst the dancers at The Lion’s Den. He was using his space between class times to tour the school, trying to figure out where the rest of his classes for the week would be. Kurt had found him in the hallway where he had been studying the bulletin board filled with organizations you could join.

From chess to anime to superheroes, Blaine couldn’t choose which interests of his to pick. The only thing he knew he wanted to be involved in was Glee Club. Of which, NYADA had a ton. Luckily, Blaine already had his interests in a glee club narrowed down.

All of the brightly colored flyers had tabs to pull so you had the information to contact them about joining. He pulled the tab for the Apple’s Adams; the only acapella glee club on campus. Blaine had just finished his three years as the lead singer for the Dalton Academy Warblers and was pretty sure he’d get invited to join the Apples.

That’s when Kurt approached him though Blaine didn’t know his name at the time.

“The Apples?” he asked.

Blaine looked down shyly at the green tab in his hand. He met the man’s eyes and nodded. “I love to sing.”

“Me too,” he said, “I’ll see you at auditions, break a leg.”

That was it. No hello, no introductions, just a ‘good luck’ and a promise of seeing the most handsome man Blaine had ever seen again. If Blaine was going to daydream about someone at least he knew Kurt and he already had something in common.

He couldn’t wait for auditions.

The second time he saw Kurt Hummel wasn’t at the club either. This time Blaine was getting coffee. Standing in line debating if he should get another cronut or should he just stick to a medium drip and be on his way. Then he heard this voice coming from a table behind him.

Since their encounter the day before, Blaine had been replaying that melody of “I’ll see you at auditions.” It was getting him through his first week of school.

Friday’s auditions couldn’t come soon enough. Though, in reality, Blaine needed all the time he could get rehearing his audition song. The Lion’s Den karaoke nights these last two weeks had kept his vocals strong but Blaine wanted everything to sound perfect. He had more than just the judges to impress.

He quickly looked over his shoulder and noticed a girl sitting across from that blue-eyed man.

“Come on,” she was saying, “that’s not the Kurt Hummel I know!”

That’s how he learned his name. It was fitting. Sounded like a name that could very well be up in lights someday. Blaine hoped he was there to see it when it happened.

“Rach, it’s only the second day of classes please contain your crazy for another week at least.”

She huffed dramatically. “Kurt, you need to put yourself out there.”

The girl, Rach went on to talk about how she was auditioning for as many off-Broadway productions as she could this year. After all, “we’re almost graduates”. Kurt had scoffed at that remark, “we have another 2 years.”

It was obvious then Kurt was an upperclassman. A junior. Blaine had to stand out at auditions to even be a blip on his radar. He moved up in line, ordered his coffee, and mentally going through his closet for the perfect outfit. Surely tight pants and a bowtie were enough to get someone’s attention but what combination of patterns and colors would appeal to one Kurt Hummel?

When Blaine turned back around, coffee in hand, Kurt was already gone.

Okay, he thought, he already had some practice getting along with upperclassmen. Tina and Angie seemed to like him. Chad and Dante tolerated him—Blaine was cool because he liked college football. Bryant and Xavier were the toughest to crack. He wasn’t sure they’d ever really like him.

But Kurt went to NYADA. He liked to sing, obviously enjoyed glee club and theater. They had to have tons in common.

The third time Blaine saw Kurt was at auditions. He was sitting as one of the judges in the audience. This time dressed in a green army jacket and a tight black tank top underneath. Kurt had his feet up on the seat in front of him showing off his white Doc Martens.

In his wildest dreams, Blaine might’ve wished for Kurt to remember him, give him a teasing wink before he began to sing. Of course, nothing happened. Kurt barely looked his way at all when he walked onto the stage.

It was during the last few notes of Billy Joel’s “Just the Way You Are”, Blaine found out Kurt Hummel was taken. For a second, Blaine was glad the reason Kurt hadn’t given him a second look was that he was already in a relationship but in the next, he felt his heart sink to his stomach.

The man he had just seen Kurt kiss on the cheek was now talking to him. He was British. And taller than Blaine.

“I’m Adam,” he said, extending a hand, “we’ll let you know by Monday.”

Blaine can’t remember if he shook his hand before nodding and bolting out of the room.

Fuck fuck fuck.

There was no way he could stand to be in that group with Kurt and his lead singer, group founder, and British boyfriend.

That night Blaine had camped out on the living room couch, binge-watching the Star Wars movies knowing he had the day off tomorrow, and eating his heart out Sam found him covered in used tissues and Hershey kiss wrappers, with a half-eaten pint of Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough in his lap.

“Bad audition?” Sam asked.

He didn’t answer. So naturally, he just sat next to Blaine on the couch.

“At least tell me you’re watching them in order.”

Blaine shook his head.

“Fuck dude, it’s worst than I thought if you don’t care about the order!”

Sam reached over his roommate to grab the remote control and paused the movie. Even though both boys had seen them over and over again, they insisted on pausing it for conversation.

“Talk to me,” Sam said.

When Blaine couldn’t make the words come out of his mouth, Sam pulled his roommate to his side in a half hug, half cuddle. That’s all it takes for Blaine to start crying, murmuring about his perfect guy being taken.

“I made it all up in my head, Sam,” Blaine whined.

All that’s heard from their apartment is sobbing and gentle condolences from Sam, who is still confused as to why he’s consoling Blaine at all.

He may have only known about Kurt’s existence for four days but Blaine had been dreaming about him for years. Blaine Anderson had their whole life planned after their first interaction. His middle name was “too much, too soon.” When the Andersons wanted something, they just knew. The depths of his soul knew Kurt was his perfect man.

The fourth time Blaine saw Kurt Hummel was at the club. That Saturday in September after auditions Sam pulled Blaine out of bed to meet up with their friends.

“You’re friends,” Blaine had said, head buried under a pillow.

“OUR friends,” Sam corrected. “Tina loves hanging out with you.”

Sam took the pillow off his face and forced Blaine to sit up by pulling on his arms.

“Because she’s got a crush,” he sighed.

“She knows you’re gay.”

“Gay and depressed,” Blaine told him before pulling the pillow back over his face.

Sam ripped the pillow off and tossed it onto the floor this time and sat Blaine up again.

“Let’s go, you gotta get out of this room. It’s been forever since you’ve seen the world!”

“I was at school yesterday.”

Sam ignored him. “I picked your outfit.”

He held up his choice. The mismatched patterns are enough to get Blaine up and out of bed.

Thank god Sam only wanted to model clothes and someone else would be choosing them.

The rest of the night had been going fine until Blaine caught sight of Kurt. At first, he was captivated by him. Did Kurt Hummel always look like he stepped out of a painting? For a second, Blaine could forget that he wasn’t allowed to want him.

Then, Blaine caught sight of who Kurt was pulling behind him. It all came back full force like someone slapping him across the face.

They were laughing together, probably drunk off each other. What he wouldn’t give to know what he was like to have a man like Kurt look at him like he was currently staring at Adam.

All his earlier feelings, everything Sam hoped he’d drink away, came flowing back. Blaine downed his vodka coke, paid his tab, and asked the bartender to call him a cab.

That was that.

Blaine walked home alone, texting Sam when he got back to their apartment so his roommate wouldn’t worry too much. Then, he locked himself in the bathroom and sunk to the floor.

If this was a movie, Blaine knows there would be heartbreak music playing as a camera zoomed in on his breakdown. It’s not Kurt’s fault that Blaine can’t help but picture a happy ending with every crush he has. They just had so much potential to be a great love story.

Now it was clear that was a story never to be written. If Kurt doesn’t want to be with Blaine then he’s just not the one.

#klaine #klaine fanfic #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #not the one #my fics

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shirtlesssammy · 3 years

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3x14: Long-Distance Call

Guys! We have a special surprise next week!! (Hint: We finally get to recap the gay angel episodes again!) Until then, enjoy our last episode for season 3...

Then:

Sam’s saving his brother no matter what

Now:

On a stormy night, a man drinks alone, contemplating life. His phone rings. It’s Linda. Ben tells her he can’t. “My wife.” He hangs up the phone. It rings again. Linda pleads with him. She loves him. He hangs up again. The phone rings AGAIN. He slams it down repeatedly and tears it from the wall. IT RINGS AGAIN! Damn, Linda, you are persistent. To stop the ringing, Ben pulls out a gun and shoots himself.

Dean tells Sam they have a case. Sam tells Dean that they’re on a case --his. Dean balks at that because they’ve got nothing. Bela’s gone, the Colt’s gone, and Dean would rather work a case they can solve than wallow in his imminent death.

They head to Milan, Ohio. They head right to the dead guy’s house and interview his widow. She’s a little belligerent but tells them that there was blood everywhere (Oh, that’s why she’s belligerent), favorite scotch was out, and the phone was ripped from the wall.

Sam asks to look at the crime scene. He goes through the caller ID. Dean asks about strange phone calls. She admits that a couple weeks prior she picked up on a call that Ben was on. It was static. No one was there.

Research time!

Dean finds out that “Linda” was Ben’s high school sweetheart --and she died in a car accident. On top of that, she was cremated. On top on top of that, Sam discovered that the caller ID on the phone traces back to a phone number used a century ago! (I presume Sam did all that research while he stared out the window.)

They head to the bowels of the phone company to find fly infested, porn addicted Stewie. I’m going to skip over all this but will laugh at the ad that said “Order now & receive a bone-us gift!” Sam asks Stewie to trace the old-time number. (Natasha: flames on the side of my face at this damn offensive porn franchise.)

Dean pulls out the threat level 5 on the guy and the guy finds some results. There’s different houses that all received a call from that number.

Sam heads to investigate one house. He poses as a phone company employee. He asks about strange phone activity. The man that answers the phone says that they haven’t had any issues. Sam notices the daughter looking concerned in the background.

She pops outside to call his bluff. She wants to know why he was asking about the phones. He gives her a little give and she admits that she’s been talking on the phone with her mom --who’s dead.

Dean checks in with similar stories. Then he gets a call. It’s the static-y voice of John Winchester.

Later at the motel, Sam wants to know more about Dean’s call. Dean gets all nervous boy about it possibly really being their dad, and what they should do about it. What should Dean say? Sam, ever the pragmatist, suggests, “hello.” It’s funny, but I guess not really because Dean walks out on his brother.

Dean comes back with a reason why things are happening here. It’s the birthplace of Thomas Edison, and there’s a museum with Edison’s spirit phone.

They take a tour but the phone doesn’t have any EMF. They’re stumped as to what’s happening.

Later that night, while Sam slumbers, Dean stays awake to answer his phone. John calls again. He asks Dean how he could sell his soul. “I was looking after Sammy like you told me to.” (Boris screams into the void) John tells Dean that the demon that holds Dean’s contract is in Ohio.

Meanwhile, the daughter from earlier is IMing a friend when she gets a message from her dead mom. The mom says she wants to see her. The girl is scared but her mom reassures her that she’s with her. Then the girl’s computer flickers out and in the reflection of the monitor, we see the girl and her mom.

The next morning, Sam returns from interviewing Lanie, the haunted daughter, to find Dean obsessing over demon omens. He shares his intel with Sam.

Dean’s pretty sure the demon who owns his contract is following him. I pull a Dean voice to say, “Why are you so obsessed with me?” only Dean’s actual line in the show is “My ass is too sweet to let out of sight.” God. This show. Sam tries to tell him that the demon-killing exorcism that John gave Dean over the phone might not be as advertised. Dean’s a believer, though. He’s got faith in John! (Just gonna take a li’l writing break to tear at my hair.)

Sam heads back to watch over Lanie, but before he goes the Winchesters hold an emotional shouting match. Dean’s ready to stop the demon from coming after him once and for all and thinks that Sam’s reticence is just more head-butting with their (now dead) dad. Sam accuses Dean of having “blind faith” towards his father and I weep. Sam leaves with one request: that Dean stay put until he returns from seeing Lanie. So. That’s going to go well.

Lanie explains to Sam what’s been going on - that her mom’s requests have extended beyond the normal grieving cemetery visit. We cut to a young kid playing in his room. His toy phone rings. “Hi, mommy!” he chirps.

Cut to Dean “Single Man Tear” Winchester sitting dramatically by his phone. It rings.

Lanie reveals to Sam that her mother’s ghost told her to kill herself. When Sam hears the ghost’s catchphrase, “come to me,” he realizes that they’re dealing with something else entirely.

While Sam experiences revelation, Dean heads off alone following his dad’s orders. f r o w n y f a c e. He ends up in a quiet, suburban home.

Meanwhile, Lanie’s brother Simon (of the toy phone fame) has gone missing. Sam saves him just in time from getting pancaked by a truck. As soon as the kids are buttoned up back home, Sam calls Dean. He tells him that a crocatta is after the people of the town. It’s a scavenger that lures grieving people and eats their souls. It tends to dwell in filth. Dean recalls the flies at the phone company, so Sam heads out on a hunt. (Meanwhile, YES, Dean’s off having his own questionable adventures, setting demon traps in a nearby house.)

Sam calls Dean for backup before assaulting Stewie, the phone guy. “I know what you are and I know how to kill you,” Sam says to the terrified guy. Someone looms behind Sam with a baseball bat. It’s Clark, the manager! He takes out poor soft-headed Sammy. Unfortunately, Clark takes out Stewie too.

They both wake up tied to chairs inside the building. Clark kills Stewie and then fangs out. He unhinges his jaw and sucks out Stewie’s soul. Yummy? Clark then lays his hands on the phone console...because it’s time to kill Dean!

Elsewhere, in a police locker room, a man’s phone rings. It’s his daughter. “I know who killed me, daddy,” she says. The girl’s voice tells him that her killer is at their house right now.

Clark explains to Sam that spoofing John Winchester was incredibly easy. All he had to do was find their phone numbers, then John’s old numbers. That let him listen to voicemails, read emails, and easily find the weak links that led him to target Dean. Oof. (Side note: a crocatta would make a seriously amazing private detective in an alternate Supernatural where monsters have better meal restraint.)

Dean stands ready at the suburban house - ready to kill a demon. The grieving officer heads home, ready to kill his daughter’s murderer.

Dean’s jug of holy water is met with an angry father with a shotgun, so things start out really well. They quickly devolve into a dirty fist fight.

Meanwhile, the crocatta continues to villain-monologue at Sam.

Technology, Clark says, makes it so much easier to target people. They’re connected - yet isolated and easier to pick off. (I scoff at this overdone oversimplification of the role of “technology” in society. I hate when people try to pretend the past was trouble-free.) Sam finds his argument weak as well, and punctuates that by breaking free of his bonds and attacking Clark.

At the house, Dean disarms the grieving cop and reveals the demon trap below the carpet. He starts reading out the exorcism. To his horror, the guy walks right out of the demon trap. When the guy accuses him of killing his daughter, the pieces click for Dean.

Sam kills Clark by jabbing his head into a retail hook suspended off the wall. OH I SEE, this show has always been obsessed with death by hook. >:|

Dean and the officer avoid killing each other. Instead, they despair in beaten silence together, before we cut to Dean holding a compress to his forehead back at the motel.

Sam and Dean go over the case back in the motel, but talk quickly switches to EMOTIONS. Sam apologizes to Dean. Dean admits he was wrong. “I wanted to believe so badly,” he says. STORY OF HIS LIFE DAMN IT. He admits that he’s terrified of dying. Terrified of Hell.

Sam gives him sad puppy eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with having hope.”

“Hope doesn’t get you jack squat,” Dean tells him.

For Sad Boys with Poor Coping Mechanisms Science:

Call Me By Your Quote:

I just talked to an 84 year old grandmother who's having phone sex with her husband, who died in Korea! It redefined my understanding of the word 'Necrophilia'

That’s what happens when you mess with the phone company, dillweed

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recap #dean winchester #sam winchester #spn 3x14 #long distance call #supernatural season 3

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crashdevlin · 3 years

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Jump The Shark

Author’s Note: This is part nineteen of The Best Laid Plans series

Summary: When John gets a call from the youngest son he never got to meet, Y/n goes with him to find out what happened to the one-night stand John had back in 1990.

Pairing: Alpha!John x Omega!Reader

Word count: 3597

Story Warnings: angst...A/B/O dynamics, canon divergence, angst, mentions of physical violence, mentions of mindfuckery, mentions of ferality, pining, did I mention angst?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You hadn't said anything. Not from the moment you and John found the truck. You climbed up into the cab and changed into jeans, a black and green plaid flannel and a pair of hiking boots. You dropped your suit skirt and blouse out the window going 80 down the interstate, and then you closed your eyes and listened to the Rolling Stones.

You had to open your eyes when your memories started attacking you.

Dean had been so sure that you were the one he wanted, the one he was looking for...but that was Dean Smith and Y/n Colt. That was a Stanford MBA and a former Miss Teen USA runner-up. The idea that he wanted to mark you was particularly hurtful and you were kinda glad you made him wait because you weren't sure if it would have reset like the first mark Sam gave you and the last thing you wanted was for Dean to be tethered to you when he could barely stand to be around you.

He only wanted you because he was someone else. He was someone else, but his soul was still stuck on you. You both felt that pull because you were connected but he didn't want you. Smith liked Colt, but Winchester would never love Y/l/n.

John just drove. It was obvious he had no destination in mind, he just pointed the truck West and drove. Part of you wished that he would go back to Mississippi but you knew that your semi-normal was gone...and it was better. You were a hunter and so were your alphas. No normal for you.

"It hit her hard, Sammy," you heard John whispering as he drove when you woke up a few hours into Missouri. "She hasn’t been that close with your brother in years and the fact that it was all fake is killing her."

A pang of sadness hit you as your brain called forth what John was talking about. The haze of sleep had taken the memory, but now it was clear why your heart felt like so many broken pieces shoved into a box in your chest.

"Yeah, we know that but he won't say it and she probably wouldn't be able to hear it now anyway." John sighed as Sam spoke through the phone. "Son, I don't know what we can do other than what we always do. If you need help, just call, but she definitely doesn't need to be around your brother for a while. All right. Keep me updated," John said before setting his phone on the dashboard. "I know you’re awake, 'mega. Can't fool me."

"Wasn't trying to fool you. Just letting you finish your conversation," you responded, sitting up and stretching as best as you could in the truck cab. "What'd Sam want?"

"Tell me that the whole deal in Cincinnati was the Angels fucking with us. Specifically fucking with Dean. They wanted to prove to him that he was always supposed to be a Hunter or something."

"And we just got pulled along for the ride? That was nice of them." You rolled your eyes and reached down for your purse, pulling out a travel mouthwash. "So, what, everything's dandy now?" you asked as you took a drink of the mint liquid, swished it around in your mouth and swallowed.

"You know, you're supposed to spit that out, right?"

"Only quitters spit," you said automatically. You ran your hand across your face as you dropped the bottle to the floorboard. Dirty jokes Dean told you as a teen were not what you needed to get out of your funk. “I’ve put worse things in my body.”

“Girl, we...we’ll get through this.”

“Not like we have a lot of options, right?” You licked your lips and shook your head. “I’m fine, John. I slept. I’m better. I’m fine.”

“When are you gonna learn that it’s useless to lie to me?” John asked.

“I’m sure it’ll sink in eventually,” you responded, chuckling. “I promise...I’m going to be fine.”

“I know you will,” John said, reaching over to pat your knee.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few weeks passed and you were getting better at putting it behind you. The might’ve-beens dragged up by the Angels in Cincinnati were slowly being pushed back into the recesses of your mind and you were feeling better. Sam emailed John to tell him about some jerk in Ohio writing books about the boys’ lives, someone Castiel revealed to be a Prophet of the Lord who was writing The Winchester Gospels. There were books about the boys’ lives, their actions, their innermost thoughts, just hanging out on bookshelves around the world. You wondered if you were in any of the stories, the gospels.

John’s secondary cell phone went off as you pulled the truck into the parking lot of a coffee shop and he frowned as he looked down at the screen before he answered, “Hello?” A beat of time as you parked the truck and turned to him. “He’s not available. Can I help you?” He had a severe look on his face and you shook your head at him, confused by his reaction to the call. “What’d you say your name was? Milligan...and, uh, what are you callin’ John for?”

He made a fist and hammered it into his forehead. “Right, well, uh, I hate to have to tell you this over the phone but John is dead. He died in 2001.” Your eyes went wide and John put a finger up to quiet you before you could even start to question. “If you need help, then I can meet with you, kid. I’m, uh, John Winchester’s son, Dean. Windom, Minnesota. Cousin Oliver Café. We’ll be there tomorrow at 8am. See ya then, kid.”

“What the fuck, John?!” you exclaimed when he ended the call.

“Fuck.” He scratches his fingernails across his forehead and sighs as he sets the phone on the dash. “I recognized the area code, knew it was Missouri, thought it might have something to do with...with this case I had around January 1990. Anybody I interacted with back then, they would’ve known me before I got hit with that hex. So, that’s why I answered the phone like that and I’m glad I did because...because the kid on the other end of the phone is…” He trailed off and you gave him a pointed look.

“The kid on the other end of the phone is what?”

“My youngest son, Adam.”

Your eyes went wide, confusion and anger filling your body. “Your what?”

“I told you...I told you that I had one dalliance before you after Mary died, remember? When I was on that ghoul hunt and I went into rut and I-I was almost feral and I had one night where I couldn’t fuckin’ control myself and-”

“You knocked her up with pups?” you whispered. For some reason, it hurt a lot more than it should, especially considering you were only seven years old at the time.

“Only one. Adam.” He shook his head at himself. “She never told me. I didn’t know anything about it until 2001...and by then…by the time Adam called the first time, I was a young man again. I couldn’t show up looking like a twenty-five year old and start a relationship with the boy. So I just never called him back, kinda put him on the back burner. I figured I’d go see him when we found the witch and fixed me but I never found the witch and-”

“So, why’s he calling again now?” you asked, trying to be understanding. It wasn’t John’s fault. He should have told you. He should have told his other sons, but he couldn’t do anything about it now.

“His mom, Kate, is missing.”

“And he called you because?” you asked.

“Because the cops aren’t worried and his mom told him to try to get a hold of me if anything weird ever happened. She knew about the hunting.”

“So, your plan is to...pretend to be your oldest son and go meet your youngest son for the first time and try to find his missing mother...who most probably is just normal-missing, not supernatural-missing?” you asked, cautious of your tone.

“I can drop you somewhere if you don’t wanna participate in this, girl,” he said, biting his bottom lip.

“No,” you responded vehemently. “You don’t get to leave me behind, Winchester. Not ever again, remember?”

“Okay, then I’m gonna need you to back me on this and you’re going to have to call me ‘Dean’.”

You nodded. “I can do that.” You weren’t sure you wanted to, but you’d do it for him.

“Thank you, darlin’.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

John was nervous. You could smell it in his scent. You leaned into his shoulder as you sat in the booth, trying to calm him with your own scent. You kept your head on his shoulder as he switched a glass of water out with a glass of holy water and set a trio of silverware on the opposite side of the table. “Just in case.”

“You really think-”

“I looked into him, ya know? Kid did real good without me in his life,” John said suddenly. “He’s real and he’s smart and he never had anything to do with this life. I’m scared it bled onto him anyway.”

You sighed and leaned up to press a kiss to his temple as the door opened and a tall, thin young man walked into the diner. He looked like a mix of Sam and Dean. “That’s him,” you whispered, recognizing him from the Facebook profile.

John, or rather ‘Dean��, stood and waved at the boy.

“Dean?” Adam asked, walking over. John nodded. The boy laughed. “Wow, you look just like the picture my mom had of-of John. You’re almost the spitting image of him.” He let out a scoff as he sat down, his eyes moving to you. “Who’s this?”

“My omega,” John said, a bit defensively.

“Y/n,” you said, offering your hand to him.

Adam took it with a smile. “Wow.”

You felt a cringe move through your body and you looked down. “What?”

“I just…” Adam cleared his throat. “There’s not a lot of omegas in Windom and none are as pretty as you.”

Another Winchester flirting with you was sending all sorts of bad signals through your body. You softly tugged your hand back and sat back down as Adam settled into the opposite side of the booth and picked up the water. You held your breath when he took a drink but the water went down easy so you relaxed a bit.

But not much.

He smelled wrong. John was lavender and orange and ylang ylang, Dean was lavender and honeysuckle and anise, Sam was vanilla and coffee and undercurrents of honeysuckle when he was in rut. Adam smelled like dirt.

Not grass and forest and mossy logs, dirt. Just dirt. He didn’t even have a secondary scent to him, no undercurrent or complementary smell. Just dirt.

There should have been some part of him that smelled like a Winchester, even if he wasn’t the same makeup of a Winchester as the ones you knew. He shouldn’t smell like that.

Adam didn’t seem to notice your musing or your deep breaths to try and find something else in his scent. He went off on a tangent as he ate his breakfast about how John and Kate met in the emergency room at the hospital room where she works and he went into rut after he got hurt and Adam tried to get a hold of John when he was a kid and John just never picked up the phone and he’s glad that ‘Dean’ answered the phone this time.

“At least I know why he didn’t answer when I was calling before. So, uh, what happened to John?”

“Heart attack,” John responded. “It was sudden.”

“Right, guess that makes sense. Heart disease is the number one killer of men his age in the US,” Adam said.

Your eyes focused on the silverware in the man’s fists. Not a shifter either then. But this was something. This was not a Winchester.

“Well, after we get done eating, why don’t you take us to the house and we’ll see if we can’t find something to tell us where your mom got to,” John offered.

“Thanks, Dean,” Adam said with a smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He didn't react to silver or holy water," John argued as he followed Adam's car down the road.

"So? There's plenty of things that can alter people's perception of them that don't react to silver or holy water! Rakshasas, sirens, djinns, ghouls, do I need to go on?" you argued back. "He smells like dirt, John. That is not-"

"Maybe that's just-"

"What'd his mother smell like?" you interrupted.

"Passion fruit...and something else I can't remember."

"Not dirt. He shouldn't smell like that. He's not your son."

John sighed and scratched at his chin. "You might be right. He should smell more like one of us. He doesn't even smell like an alpha, honestly, but...if he's not Adam, then where the hell is Adam? And where's Kate? And why the fuck would whatever he is try to get me out here?"

"I don't know."

"Me either. For now, let's focus on finding Kate and we'll go from there." You held in a groan and focused out the windshield. "I know, 'mega. I'm just...I got this feeling...I lost my opportunity to be a part of this boy's life because of that witch."

"And that’s terrible, John...but you wouldn't have me if it wasn't for that witch so…"

“I’m not sayin’ I regret it, sweetheart, I just...wish I could have...met him once before I went after that bitch.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, biting your thumbnail. “Sometimes I wish things were different, too.”

“You wish I never came over when you were going into that first heat,” he guessed.

You swallowed, but you didn’t answer. The truth was, you had thought through a lot of different wishes and butterfly-effect ripples of how it would change everything. If John didn’t show up, you wouldn’t be a hunter. If Dean hadn’t pushed you to let Sam take you when those apple-pie assholes put you in heat, you would have just been Dean’s. If you never sold your soul for Dean, you might have been able to move on, find another alpha...a non-Winchester.

“I don't think I'd be myself if you hadn't shown up,” you answered eventually. “I'd have stayed stuck at Bobby's, never ended up with an alpha let alone two, and I would be dying from never getting a knot in a few years' time...it’s better you did.”

"I'm...glad I did, Y/n. I like the woman you are, the strong and beautiful omega you are.”

You smiled and your cheeks heated up at the praise. “Let’s just get this done, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You weren’t exactly happy that you were the one who had to crawl through the vents but Adam said, and John fucking agreed, that you were smallest and therefor the best choice. When you found the blood and pieces of skull and blond hair, you were happy to be small enough to pull your phone out of your pocket and text the news to John so he could break the news before you crawled back out.

“Call the cops. We gotta get out of here, though,” John said as he offered you a hand to help you up out of the vent.

“Wait, but-” Adam started to argue.

“We don’t mix with cops,” you responded, before stomping away from them, roughly brushing dust off of your jeans and shirt. “Come on, J-Dean. Let’s get out of here.”

“You don’t mix with-” Adam started to argue, but you pushed past him and stomped out to John’s truck.

“There was no surprise in his scent. There was no anger or sadness. I’ve lost both parents, John, there should have been-”

“Maybe he’s numb or-”

“Maybe he’s made of dirt or something!” you snapped. “That is not-”

“He hasn’t done anything wrong yet, ‘mega.”

You shook your head. “Yeah. Yet. You know what, John? I’m gonna go ahead and look into things that could be pretending to be your illegitimate pup.”

You barely looked at him as you got out of the truck and headed inside to start researching. When Adam showed up to find out what was going on with his missing mother and you and ‘Dean’ leaving before the cops showed up and “what the hell?!” John decided to explain about hunting as simply as he could. He didn’t explain who he really was, though. And then John decided to take Adam to explore other options of finding Kate.

It was a couple hours later that you came across a mention in an online lore forum that said ghouls, while normally scavengers who feast on dead flesh, could actually eat living specimens and have been shown to greatly enjoy fresh human meat and blood...and just like feasting on the dead, the ghoul can take the visage of their victim and their memories.

“Didn’t John say that’s what he was after when he was here before?” you whispered to yourself as you picked up your cell phone and dialed John’s number. It rang through until it went to voicemail. You called again. It went to voicemail again.

Panic fell over you. Your alpha was in trouble. Your alpha was in trouble and you had no idea where he was.

“Fuck!” You were almost shaking as you stood up and looked around aimlessly. What could you do? Another string of expletives fell from your mouth before you forced yourself to focus. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. Your soul was connected to him. You needed to find him.

It only took a flash. A flash of the dining room at Kate’s house, John tied to the table had you grabbing the keys to John’s truck and rushing for your alpha. You pushed that truck as fast as it would go to get it to the house on the outskirts of Windom. The truck tires screeched as you slid to a stop in the front yard. You grabbed your shotgun from the rack in the truck bed and ran into the house.

John was tied to the table, ‘Adam’ and ‘Kate’ standing over him as he bled from his wrists. “Y/n,” he groaned. “They’re ghouls!”

“I know!” you snapped, aiming at Adam’s head and shooting. Parts of his head exploded onto the wall behind him and Kate shrieked before running at you. You moved to pump the shotgun for a second shot, but Kate grabbed you and tossed you into the wall like you were nothing.

“Y/n!”

“I’m fine, John!” you shouted, rolling onto your hands and knees.

“John?” Kate spat out, her tone dripping with poison.

“Forgot to mention before you started draining me,” John groaned. “I’m the one who killed your daddy, sweetheart.”

“Witches are better than plastic surgery, bitch,” you said, sweeping the woman’s leg with your foot. She fell to the floor and you jumped up, grabbing the shotgun and shooting her in the head, too. You licked your lips and panted as you limped over to the table and pulled out a knife, getting him loose from his binds. “You okay?” you asked, grabbing a rag and ripping it in half, wrapping each half around his wounds.

“Yeah. You...you got here in time.” He sat up, his legs hanging off the table as you secured the wraps around his wrists. “How’d you know?”

“I figured out ghouls could eat fresh and then I couldn’t get you on the phone and...I…” You licked your lips. “I knew where to find you.”

“How?” he pressed.

“How’d you know what motel room I was cutting Sam’s mark off of me?” you asked in answer.

“You felt it?” he asked and you nodded. He reached out, barely wincing at the pull on his wrist, and pulled you in for a soft, sad kiss. “They were siblings, kids of the ghoul I took down last time I was in Windom. They called to get revenge for me killing their dad.” He looked away. “Killed Kate and Adam to get revenge first. I was hoping I wasn’t right about my life bleeding on his.”

“It’s not your fault, John,” you whispered.

He shook his head. “I know. Shoulda stuck around to see if the thing left behind little monsters for me to kill, but...I went into rut...and then I had to get back to the boys.”

“John...it’s really not on you.”

“He’s dead because of me.”

“He was alive because of you,” you insisted. “He had nineteen years before these things...he had nineteen years because of you. Please, don’t let this get to you.” You chuckled, ruefully. “I’m the one that’s supposed to be barely floating in an ocean of shit. You’re supposed to be my life raft.”

He smiled and nodded. “I am. I am your life raft, darlin’. Just...a little blood-deprived right now. I’ll perk up after a glass of O.J. and some protein. Come on. Let’s get outta here.”

You nodded and wrapped his arm around your shoulders, helping him off of the table and walking him out to the truck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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