#and the concept rattles around in my brain for a few days

[alisoncooper]

finally got around to watching last night in soho and now i Feel Things in My Brain!

#the movie left me feeling Weird #in a good way i think #i like it when films leave me feeling uneasy or empty or full of heart #and the concept rattles around in my brain for a few days #anyway #aside from all that #may i just say #matt smith hot make my brain go brrr #effie rambles

[coredrill]

ALSO also i finally watched ep9 with the pals and. neither of them Knew beforehand but watching one figure it out in REAL TIME as soon as they showed baby smith w his sparkaiser figure was like top ten experiences EVER. the other was deeply confused by the time travel and wants human smith back

:]

#meanwhile i am like shitting myself watchibg it again #omg also when the concept of the lulus were introduced one of my friends was like ‘BRAVERN’S SLURPIN’ UP ISAMI!’ #and i haven’t stopped laughing about it cause like 😭 HE SURE IS BUT NOT LIKE THAT #anyways we should finish it out somewhat soon 🤞 yaayyy #a: bravern #bravern spoilers #t.bbbb #sorry for the posts this is what happens when i am offline for a few days it all rattles around my brain. LMAO

[avatar-anna]

Rumors

so...i've had this concept rattling around in my brain, but i had no idea how to write it, so i used pictures instead. i definitely want to do more, but tumnlr only allows 10 pictures a post, so here's to hoping i remember to come back to this in the future!

yourinstagram

liked by taylorswift and 67,530 others

yourinstagram: had a very cool dude over today to make even cooler music

yoursistersinstagram: you let someone in the bat cave?!

y/nfan5: possible collab on the new album?

yourinstagram: more like i was helping someone with theirs ;))

harrystyles: Thank you for having me. X.

harryfan3: HARRY???

harryfan7: omgomgomgomgomg

y/nfan1: pls god let us have a harry and y/n collab on his next album i NEED it

harrystyles

liked by gemmastyles, yourinstagram and 2,233,781 others

harrystyles: HS3. Coming soon.

harryfan8: NEW ALBUM ALERT

harryfan11: HARRY YOU CANT JUST DROP SOMETHING LIKE THAT WITHOUT A RELEASE DATE

harryfan4: this has to be what he was working on with y/n right?

y/nfan3: i need them both on a song together

yourinstagram: had fun late night talking with you xx

y/nfan9: i'm sorry wHAT

harryfan5: is this flirting this sounds like flirting

harryfan13: honestly...here for it

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan7 and 4,320 others

y/nupdates: Y/n in a video for Vogue recently!

"A lot of people ask me how Harry Styles ended up recording at my house when we'd virtually never crossed paths before. It was actually Taylor (Swift) who kind of set the whole thing up. They spoke at the Grammys last year and she apparently gave him my number so we could work together...He called and asked if I was available to help with his album at all. At the time I was on the road, then working on stuff for the band, and it just kind of went back and forth for a few months while we tried to line up our schedules. Then I was done touring, but I was kind of in a weird state in life where I didn't want to leave the house or hang out with anyone. And I remember making up excuses because I wasn't really up to making myself presentable to a whole team of people I'd never met before and having our first meeting be this huge thing. I'd basically built it all up in my head about how our ideas would clash and we wouldn't get along and I just kept telling him maybe some other time. Long story short, Harry showed up at my place a week later by himself with just a guitar, a notebook, and my favorite takeout order. We spent the whole day together working on a bunch of different stuff from themes to genres of music to sampling and mixing. And writing. Lots and lots of writing. And now he's a dear friend. He's so sweet and so talented. I wish him all the best with the new album."

y/nfan8: ok i'm glad it worked out and everything but imagine a virtual stranger showing up to your HOUSE?? like she said no and he basically forced her to write his album for her

y/nfan4: that's so real of her tbh to not want to leave her house

y/nfan2: y/n is notoriously introverted it makes sense

harryfan13: girl...

y/nfan7: i don't think it was that serious. and if she really didn't want him there she could've said no

harryfan13: and y/n literally called him a friend?? stop trying to start shit that doesn't exist

y/nfan7: of COURSE mother brought them together

harryfan17: i can't believe that's what harry and taylor were talking about in the video!

harryfan2: chill harry doesn't need to be in a relationship with every woman he's associated with

harryfan4: wait but wasn't y/n at that grammys too?

harryfan9: it was still covid it's possible their paths didn't cross

y/nfan19: wait what if he was too shy to go up to her??😭

harryfan4: i love that they're writing besties now but i think they'd be so cute together 🥹

hsupdates

liked by harryfan4 and 10,343 others

hsupdates: Harry about Y/n L/n for Rolling Stone:

"I've always admired (Y/n's) work. She and her band are incredibly talented, and are just so passionate about creating music. I wanted that same energy for my third album, the freedom to make whatever I want without any reservations, and I knew Y/n was the perfect addition to the team. It took some convincing, but once we kind of got started, we couldn't stop. As we've gotten to know each other these past few months, I not only respect her as a musician, but for the person she is as well. Her soul is one of a kind, and I feel like my album would be so different without her on it. So now not only do I have an album that I'm proud of and love, but I got an extraordinary friend out of it too."

harryfan9: so this is what people mean when they say platonic soulmates

y/nfan12: all we've gotten is crumbs and i'm already in love with their friendship. and the album of course

y/nfan2: i'm so interested to hear this album now. if y/n is on it it has to be good

harryfan3: "her soul is one of a kind?" if that's harry as a friend i don't think i can handle boyfriendrry😭

y/nfan7: i'm holding out hope for them honestly🤞🏼🤞🏼

liked by harrystyles and 23,724 others

yourinstagram

yourinstagram: you've fallen from the sky down to me, i see it in your face, i'm relief, i'm your summer girl

y/nfan17: shut up are those song lyrics??

yourbandinstagram: the tears behind your dark sunglasses, the fears inside your heart as deep as gashes🎶🎶

y/nfan17: HOLY SHIT those ARE lyrics!

y/nfan6: haven't even heard the song and i know the girls have done it again

harryfan4: could it...could it be about harry?

y/nfan8: you're grasping at straws

harryfan12: are they? they've been spotted together all over LA

harrystyles: ☀️☀️

y/nfan8: as friends. friends can hang out can't they?

harryfan3: new music from harry AND y/n? we're about to be fed y'all

harryfan10: THEY REALLY ARE BESTIES

y/nfan2: i bet they collaborated on this song together

Interviewer (I): What's one memory or experience you can share from making this album? Any trips to Japan or Jamaica?

Harry (H): We stayed in Los Angeles mostly for this one. But erm...in terms of a specific memory...I would say that while I was working with Y/n, one of the tracks was actually inspired by her cat.

I: Really?

H: Yeah. Whenever it did something to annoy Y/n, which was quite often, she'd call her a little freak. The song's obviously not about the cat, but the phrase was in my head and yeah. Things just kind of...snowballed from there.

I: The sound that Y/n's band has is more rock centric, a similar sound to your first album. Is that what we can expect for your third studio album?

I: You've become quite close to Y/n L/n it seems like.

H: Not necessarily. Y/n and I collaborated, but she also let me take the reins in terms of sound. She had opinions of course and we would bounce ideas off of each other...but she really just followed my lead and supported the vision I had. She is playing a majority of the instruments on the album, though.

H: It's hard not to.

I: How so?

I: It sounds like you could go on for quite some time about her.

H: She's just cool, you know? I was kind of intimidated when we met for the first time. She's quiet, but you never forget that she's in the room, you just want to go over and talk to her. Of course once you meet her she's incredibly kind and not at all intimidating, but still like chill and stuff. The first time we met we sat for an hour just talking about music we enjoyed and live shows we wanted to attend and things we learned while in lockdown. She's just effortlessly cool. An old soul, I guess. And somehow she translates that into her music. Her sisters, too. They're all just first-rate musicians.

H: Sorry. I kind of gushed for a minute there.

H: And the band. They're just so talented, you know?

harrystyles

liked by jeffazoff and 4,211,323 others

harrystyles: From start to finish, making this album has been such an incredible journey. It was so fun to try new things sonically while also making something that I'm one hundred percent proud of. I've never felt more myself while making music than I did while creating this album for all of you, and I have so many people to thank for that. Hopefully you know who you are. I love, love, love you.

harryfan16: 😭😭😭😭😭

harris_reed: little angel👼

harryfan3: WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU

yourinstagram: congratulations h. you deserve it.💐💐💐

harrystyles: I couldn't have done it without you💐

yourinstagram

liked by yourbandinstagram and 53,089 others

yourinstagram: for one night and one night only...but in all seriousness shout out to my friend and his incredible album. happy to have been a part of the magic :)))

harryfan13: HAPPY HARRY DAY!!!

harryfan4: is she in ny??

y/nfan7: yes! she was spotted with harry before the show today

harryfan9: they're literally so cute i love their friendship

harrystyles: You made the magic happen. Thank you for everything. X.

harryfan3: they're so...

y/nfan2: i genuinely think they like fucking with us bc i legitimately can't tell if they're dating or not

y/nfan7: at this point i don't even care i love whatever they're doing they both just seem so happy to be besties/lovers/collaborators and i love that for them

harryfan5: ^^

y/nupdates

liked by harryfan10 and 3,742 others

y/nupdates: Y/n performing Keep Driving onstage with Harry in NYC tonight at ONO!

y/nupdates: When he introduced her, he said: "Tonight is special in a lot of ways. I'm sharing my album with you for the first time, my family's here, my friends are here, and...a very good friend of mine is here to play a song with me tonight. This album wouldn't have been possible without her, so please give her as much love as you've given me. Y/n L/n, everybody!"

harryfan4: stop they're so close it hurts😭

y/nfan7: i was there they were staring at each other and smiling the whole time!

harryfan12: that's the one where he says choke her with a sea view!?

y/nfan7: YES AND I SWEAR HIS SMILE GOT BIGGER WHEN HE SANG THAT PART AND LOOKED AT HER LIKE HE FULLY HAD TO TURN AROUND TO LOOK AT HER BC SHE WAS PLAYING THE DRUMS

harryfan3: i'm choosing to believe they're in love idc what anyone else says

hs/ynupdates

hs/ynupdates: Harry, Y/n, and her sisters in New York after ONO tonight! Apparently Harry and Y/n were standing and walking very close to each other. Like arms wrapped around each other close.

harryfan2: that could literally mean anything tho. they're good friends why wouldn't they walk next to each other?

y/nfan14: i feel like they don't know if they're dating or not at this point😅

y/nfan8: her sisters are so unserious i love it

y/nfan5: i love that they all showed up for harry🥹

yourbandinstagram

liked by taylorswift, harrystyles and 710,225 others

yourbandinstagram: Thanks for having us, London!

y/nfan1: i can't believe i got to see harry and y/n perform in ONE NIGHT

harryfan3: sending my love and my tears to everyone who got to experience this historic night

harrystyles: Thank you for taking the time to share the stage with me. X.

yourbandfan2: how do y'all always look so good 😭

I: So you opened for Harry Styles a few weeks ago and performed a song with him in New York.

Y/n: My sisters and I did, yeah.

I: How did that come about? Did your team call his team? Or was it more casual than that?

Y/n: Oh, definitely more casual. I think we were just hanging out together one morning and he kind of just suggested it. No bells and whistles or anything like that.

I: So can we expect (Your band) to join Harry on his upcoming tour, then?

Y/n: I don't think so. We're working on putting out a record of our own at the moment, but we do want to get back out on the road soon, but I will definitely be attending more of his shows in the future.

I: And what can we expect from this upcoming record? Did Harry help you the way you helped him out?

Y/n: I've sent him a couple things to listen to, and I value his opinion a lot, both as a friend and as an artist. He also showed me a couple records recently which kind of influenced how I approached some of the songs sonically. He's got a huge vinyl collection at his house. I'm honestly kind of jealous.

I: There's been some rumors running around that you and Harry are in a romantic relationship. Would you like to put any of those rumors to rest?

Y/n: I could see where people might think that. Harry's very affectionate by nature, and over the last couple of months we've become very close. He's not just someone I admire in the music industry, but as a person in general. I feel incredibly lucky to call him a friend. And a close one, at that.

I: So just a friend then?

Y/n: Yeah. Yeah, just a friend.

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #harry styles x reader #harry styles fanfic #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles fluff #harry styles writing #harry styles one shot #harry styles fic

[captainmera]

Hi Mera! Could you please draw some more Caleb-Hunter or Were-Hunter? Both concepts have been rattling around in my brain these past few days haha

a wee bit Caleb content :'D <33 I like Caleb shenanigans. (sorry I didn't draw more asdfgh)

and thank you for enjoying my fanfic and grimwalker ideas!! (;A;)/ <3

I imagine Caleb mainly keeps himself out of trouble because Camila's mama anger scares him.

The palismen are against him, too.

He saw Drag Queens on TV and started complaining about it, but when offered to change channel he rambled excuses why they shouldn't, and got really invested in the drama and the costumes.

He says it "intrigues" him. I imagine Evelyn probably wore men's clothes and it made Caleb feel things about men he only ever told Evelyn.

But they all know why he watches it.

and now Caleb keeps saying "shasay away" to the palismen when they bother him.

#toh #ask #art reply #the owl house #the golden brother #caleb wittebane #ttocw #tgb au #caleb possessing hunter #luz noceda #gus porter

[cryptcutiee]

Karma Is My Boyfriend

Pairing: Leon Kennedy X Reader (gender neutral) Synopsis: In search of good karma, you do a random act of kindness by paying for the coffee of whoever comes in behind you. That person ends up being a rather attractive man. Tags: Fluff, Comfort Warnings: Use of pet names (sweetheart, sweet thing), age gap (if you squint) Song: Karma - Taylor Swift Word Count: 1.6K Author's Notes: Ahhh hello Tumblr! I haven't posted any writing in a very long time. This is my very first fic on this account, but I do have more in the works. So if you want to see more from me or a part 2 to this, lmk! This is my first x reader story in years so comments and feedback is appreciated!

The day had barely started, yet everything that could go wrong was going wrong. Alarms you set decided not to go off. You had burned your breakfast. The hot water in your shower lasted a total of two minutes before it plunged you into an ice-cold drizzle. Clothes you wanted to put on had mysteriously vanished into thin air. You had dressed in attire you didn't want to wear when it started to rain as you were leaving. It was a bunch of little things adding up to a horrible morning. That didn't bode well for your luck today, which made you worry. Today was significant. You were waiting to hear back from that apartment complex. You needed to get approved for it. The current studio you were living in was crap, and this place would be a major upgrade. With how your day was going, your hope was at an all-time low.

This is how you found yourself standing across the counter from your best friend at the local coffee shop. They were a barista here, and although gossiping on work hours should be frowned upon, they always had time for you. Besides, it seemed slow today. Nobody was in line, and the few patrons lingering around were sitting at tables chatting or working. So you vented about your entire morning as your friend took down your coffee order. You got your usual which was no surprise. With the way your day was going, why would you try something new?

Your friend's eyebrows quirked up at how much of a nightmare your morning had been. "Sounds like you're having a bad energy day."

You leaned against the counter with a deadpan expression. "No shit Sherlock. Normally I wouldn't care, but I can't afford for today to be a bad day! At this rate, I'm going to get denied." You groaned. Anxiety was eating at you, and with how everything had been going, you had little faith in good news.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Your best friend pulled your attention back, "Thinking like that will just make it worse. What if you put some good energy out there, you know, like karma or something?"

You blinked as you took in their words. Karma? You understood the concept of it. Doing bad would attract bad, and doing good would attract good. A sigh left your lips as you stared across the checkout at your friend. "How do you suggest I go about that?" You're sliding your debit card across the counter as you stare them down, waiting for whatever idea they have.

Your friend put on their thinking face, and within moments their expression lit up with an idea. "What about a random act of kindness? You could pay for whoever comes in next!"

The idea rattled around in your brain for a moment. It wasn't like you believed in supernatural forces, but what exactly did you have to lose? "Fine, charge the next person's order to my card. Please don't make a big deal out of it though! I'm not doing it for recognition."

"You got it! Now go wait over by the pickup end. I'll get your order out."

With a nod to your friend, you moved over to the pickup area. Your fingers drummed against the counter anxiously. Eyes darting down to your phone as you waited for that email from the apartment complex. You could hear the bell on the door as you scrolled through your notifications. You listened to your friend speaking to what sounded like a man, but you kept your eyes stuck to your screen. He ordered a black coffee, and then your best friend said the words that made you focus more on the conversion feet away from you.

"I'm happy to say your order today has already been covered!"

When you looked up to see who you had paid for, you may have encountered one of the most attractive men you have ever seen. He had to be older than you, but he looked like he took care of himself. His shirt clung to his fit form, and those arms looked like they could pop a seam on his sleeves. Maybe karma did exist because the universe had just dropped this gorgeous sight right into your lap.

"Oh?" The man's low timber caused something to crawl down your spine. "By who?"

You could see the gears turning in your best friend's brain on how to answer the question. They knew what you asked for but could also witness your reactions from the sidelines. "By the person who ordered before you."

The man quickly put the pieces together, and his eyes glanced at you, the only person waiting for their order.

Mentally you were screaming and cursing at your friend for putting you in this situation, but at the same time, you were thanking them. As if to send the message home, they called out your name and slid your coffee order to you. Your eyes met his, and you felt your stomach do a flip. His eyes were breathtaking. If you looked too long, you thought you'd drown in them. With all the courage in your bones, you mustered an awkward smile. Hand reaching over to grab your coffee, you noticed out of the corner of your eye as the man moved toward you.

"Hey." A slight smile touched his lips as he approached, "Were you the one that paid for my coffee?" He knew it was you, and there was no point in lying to this stunning man.

"Yeah, I did. Don't worry. It was nothing." You replied, trying to shrug it off. "I just wanted to pay it forward. Trying to get some good luck." That same embarrassed smile glued to your face. Talking to this man wasn't in your cards today, but it was going better than everything else this morning.

"I can't just let you do that without introducing myself. I'm Leon, Leon Kennedy." Leon extended his hand out. Your own wrapped around his for a handshake while introducing yourself. "Why are you looking for good luck? Something wrong, sweetheart?"

Your free hand shot up in denial. "Oh no, nothings wrong! I'm waiting for an important email. It's to see if I got approved for this apartment I applied for." There was no reason for you to be telling Leon all of this. He was a stranger, but he was easy to open up to. "My morning was a disaster, and I didn't want the bad luck to continue, so my friend suggested I do something for good karma." You gestured to the barista in the background, your best friend. "Sorry, that all sounds a little silly."

"Not at all." The corner of Leon's lips lifts into a smirk." It's cute, honestly." Those blue eyes of his glimmered with interest as he spoke. It caused butterflies to flutter in your tummy. Suddenly your nerves aren't about the email. They're more about the man in front of you. "Do you have any plans today? I hope I'm not holding you up."

As fast as you can, you shake your head in response. "You aren't! I don't have anything to do today except wait." You watch as your friend delivers the black coffee Leon ordered. Their eyes glance at you with a knowing look. When Leon turns his back to them, they give you a thumbs up before scurrying back to the checkout.

"Then you'll let me repay you by grabbing dinner with me?" Leon grabbed his coffee, a sure look in his eyes. "It's the least I can do for a sweet thing like you, besides it'll get your mind off that email."

Did you just get asked out by some guy you bought coffee for? He was undoubtedly good-looking and had effortless charisma. Saying no would be a mistake. "Sure!" You automatically flush at how enthusiastic you sound. "I mean, that sounds like a nice distraction."

Leon let out a faint chuckle. "I usually get turned down. Maybe I have all the good karma today." Your eyes meet as he takes a sip of his coffee. "You like Italian? I know a good place, my treat."

"I do." Your lips curl into a soft smile. "Do you want to exchange numbers? Here." You open a fresh contact page on your phone and hold the device towards him. Your fingers brush against his as you pass your phone over to Leon. It causes a light blush to paint your features, and you can only hope he doesn't notice. As he's putting his number in, the faint chime of your notification tone rings out. 

Leon's eyes dart to the pop-up, and he grins. "Looks like I'm your good luck charm." He comments, passing the phone back to you. 

Your eyes automatically search the screen and see an email notification. The apartment complex approved you. A wide smile breaks out on your face. "I guess you are, Leon. Maybe I should keep you around." You can feel his blue eyes on you as you say that.

"Maybe you should." There's a beat of silence between the two of you. It suddenly feels like you got trapped in some romance novel. "So, celebration dinner then? Send me your address, and I'll pick you up at seven." Leon breaks the silence with that intoxicating tone of his.

"That works for me! I'll text you."

Exiting the coffee shop, you feel much better than when you arrived. Your newest contact, Leon, is on the screen, and you can't get that smile off your face.

Karma is the guy on the screen, coming straight home to me.

#.˚ ༘ cryptcreeps #cryptcutieewrites #cryptcutieeposts #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy x you #leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy fluff #leon kennedy fanfic #resident evil x reader #resident evil x you #resident evil

[solarpunkani]

So it's Solarpunk Aesthetic week and I'm trying to do homework while listening to lo-fi but my brain started thinking of Solarpunk game concepts so here are my rambles.

What if someone made a like. Not reverse Stardew Valley, per say but like. And this was inspired by some tags by @bleedingedgeavoidancetactics BUT

You inherit a great big booming agricultural business from your mysterious and distant uncle or whatever. And its run like you standard agricultural practice. But the goal of the game is to make it as sustainable as possible. You come in like right at the end of one season, so you're getting to see how its run already, while also talking to the community and specialists and such to discuss how to make changes in future growing seasons to like. Fix. Like. Do more permacultury things, still get yields needed to sustain the surrounding community but with less negative environmental impact and beginning to have good environmental impacts? (Could also have dating sim side elements if you wanted)

Or maybe a game where like. It's after a disaster of some sort, and a group of survivors/nomads find an abandoned city. And you can work to turn the materials from said abandoned city and the preexisting infrastructure into a solarpunk society? Like a city-builder game, and you're starting on the edge of this abandoned city creating like gardens and such (maybe the starting area is like a suburban neighborhood you find?), and you can send expeditions deeper into the city to find other supplies you can use to create new structures for the society you're building? And maybe this is a kind of game where you can individualize building placement and decorations to an extent, and maybe visit your friends' settlements? Or at least it'd be fun to show pictures online? (This one's inspired by a mobile game I play that I THOUGHT was gonna be like this but everything is already PRE SET)

Or a guerrilla gardening game, where you're like. A guerrilla gardener, and you're sneaking around at night sowing seeds and watering plants or planting plant starts and trying not to get caught by like. I dunno. Guards??? Police officers??? and then during the day you can take actions to protect the plants from... I dunno. And you can go to a store to buy more materials/seeds/stuff, and your home base is like a huge seed starting zone where you can craft a certain number of seed bombs/start a certain number of seeds depending on how many you have in your inventory. And each method has a few stats--efficiency, survival, and risk--so like, just sprinkling seeds would have low risk and high efficiency but low survival stats, seed bombs could have medium efficiency and low risk and low-medium survival depending on the recipe you use to make them (maybe you can learn/discover new ones as you go along), and different sizes of plant starts have lower efficiency but higher survival and higher risk. And the risk could factor into how long it takes to plant the thing but also how likely it is to be discovered by the guards or whatever during the day. And also in your daytime persona, you can make friends and organize a community that can start banding together to protect the plants from guard interference? Maybe the game starts out mostly in black and white except for your night character's green cloak and your day persona's yellow shirt, but people you can befriend also have colored shirts, and the more guerilla gardening you do the more things start to become colorful. (This one's inspired by a story idea I've had rattling in my brain and a separate animation I considered doing a few years back)

I'm not a game designer or a coder or anything, I'm just an artist. But I'm sitting here chilling and I thought these could be cool ideas. If anyone wants to use them to inspire their stories and such by all means GO FOR IT this is an endorsement

#solarpunk #out of queue #solarpunk stories #solarpunk aesthetic week #game concepts #story ideas #ani rambles #honestly will i consider turning one of these into a written story idea? maybe but im not sure #i already have so many projects man........ but if someone else wants to by all means. tag me so i can read it #if you make a wholeass game on it????? buddy let me PLAY

[lurkinglurkerwholurks]

Choose - Lose

First posted: April 2, 2019

Focuses on: Tim Drake, Jason Todd, and Bruce Wayne

Favorite bookmark: "cried again. i will cry another time"

Second favorite bookmark: "fuck yeah"

Tier: Pretty middle of the road.

This is my “behind the scenes” series where I indulge myself horribly by annotating my fics. Link to the fic itself above. Thoughts below the cut.

This one. was. wild. At 699 words, I think it's my shortest (just checked, it is) and one of my more uhhh experimental pieces.

At some point in 2018-19, I read Raisin Delight by @lemonadegarden, who is an evil genius. I read it and it broke my entire brain and also my heart. It it one of the few fics I remember my name instead of a Friends-esque description. I don't know when exactly I read it because I don't know how long the emotions it inspired had to rattle around in me before they splorted out this fic in response. I wrote it all in one sitting, if I remember correctly. I don't remember getting stuck or having to backtrack. It being so short helped as well. It was—as you can tell by comparing the works—less about what happened in the fic and responding to that the way one might via a sequel or even going "I like that but what if you..." and more about be feeling many, many things around the concept presented and just needing to barf emotions into a brown paper bag.

They stood side by side, shoulders angled outward, faces on the horizon. The wind rose, lashing stinging grains of sands against their skin before dying down again.

No philosophical intro on this one. It's too short and the tone is all wrong for that kind of introduction. There was no question about sidestepping my usual chattiness and dropping in midscene. Like I said, wrote it all in one sitting, bang, done.

I did try to make each word and image count, though I'm no Ann Leckie and probably could/should have done an even finer job of it, but I do feel like the first two sentences packed in a decent amount of information.

Tim looked to the empty space where the time traveler had stood, a forgettable man with a forgettable face in a forgettable shabby brown suit, and had made his unforgettable offer.

I blame Agatha Christie for this imagery, if I blame anyone.

Bruce, face bare, t-shirt wrinkling in the wind, had sucked in a sharp breath.

This was important, them, as civilians, as people, as a father and his sons, not in costume, not with their gear and tools and weapons. This isn't Batman being forced to choose between his Robins.

In the air, a chopper whined. In the distance, a truck rumbled. A small, caped figure hurried across the dunes.

Fun fact: Even though this fic is so short I have slightly more insight than usual because I was able to pull up my chat history with @audreycritter from right after I wrote it and then surprised her with it, which is the only way I know that I was at work when I started thinking about debt and histories and timelines and realized that Jason's death was the only reason Tim joined Fam, that everyone else would have made their way in eventually but he needed Jason to die to make it and how guilty that might make him feel if he realized it, and then I remembered "Raisin Delight" (still at work) and just about lost it.

Literally at 5:03 PM on 4/1/19 I'm listing different takes I'd love to read and tell Audrey "Or some twisted scenario where a time traveler takes them back and gives them the choice. I couldn't do that one. but I would read it. Maybe. Through my fingers."

... Annnnnd by 7:43 PM on the same day I'm casually texting Audrey "hey off the top of your head by chance do you remember how Jason and Sheila got to the warehouse?" Which is how the above sentence comes into being.

(By 8:31 PM, the fic was already done.)

The traveler disappeared.

This was very much a no-answers fic. Who was that guy? Why was he doing this? How did he find them? Were they all together or did he gather them from separate places? How are they going to get back when they're done?

Answer: Don't wooooorrryyyyyyy 'bout it

Tim’s place with Bruce was bought with blood. Paid for by the death of another boy. Without the sucking, gaping void of Jason’s absence, there was no role for Tim. There would be no grief for Bruce. No reckless rage to tamp down. No despair to fight back. No place for a lonely boy from down the hill. No reason to make the walk to the Manor’s front door.

My thesis statement (paragraph.)

Beside him, Bruce swayed. Forward, as if to step, as if pulled beyond his control. Then backward, rocked by the horror, repelled by the choice.

This is the horror of the fic. Bruce cannot choose. He cannot choose one child over another. Like unbreakable-law-of-the-universe cannot, divisible by zero cannot. But not choosing is choosing, so he can't choose and he can't not choose, and if one of his sons didn't choose for him, he was going to spontaneously combust into antimatter, I think.

Beyond, Jason stood still as granite. Frozen. Hard. Petrified by the glare of Medusa. 

Contrast with Jason, who doesn't dare move a muscle.

The numbness hadn’t yet made it to Tim’s heart. It gave a twinge of surprise that they hadn't moved. Was it up to him again, then? To push Bruce into action? To do what must be done?

Contrast with Tim (the Robin who does what must be done, who exists to help Bruce and keep him on the right path), who assumed Jason must be the one saved, because as he goes on to explain, Jason dies. He gets beaten, tortured, blown apart, killed, buried, and resurrected in his own grave. Tim... well, Tim will lose his heart and happiness and the only true family he's ever known, but he won't know that.

Or, to quote myself:

He would wake, alive and whole, in his own bed. He wouldn’t even notice the hole where his heart had been. He would live, but he would lose.

Some version of those two words were always the options for the fic, because it's about choosing and losing (not or. and.) But the options listed in the chat were:

Choose. Lose.

Choose / Lose

Choose - Lose

and then lots of grumping about how, grammatically, Choose, Lose and Choose; Lose are both more accurate but I loathed them.

Bruce had gone white. Jason had gone green.

A clever commenter thought this was a reference to the Pit. It wasn't, just nausea (watching yourself walk to a horrible end) and maybe a small nod to Megan Whalen Turner. I like the thought, though.

Tim took a step forward. Then another. A hand encircled his wrist, held him fast. The trigger callus scraped against his skin.

Like I said. Bruce could never choose or not choose. He needed his sons to make the choice for themselves. There was never another universe where he stopped Tim or let him go. It had to be Tim's choice to go and lose his future just as it had to be Jason's choice to stop him and accept what he had.

And lastly, a commenter left essentially a dictation of the dialogue she had with her mother (who doesn't read fic or know anything about DC) telling her what happened in this fic, and it made my entire life.

#fanfic bts brain dump #fanfic #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake

[crispiestchickentendie]

TW: Blood Gunshot wound (sorta)

‼️

“Now what will you do, when I go to my grave?”

Now here’s a moment of me rambling about this one I strongly dislike it but I’m moving and this idea wouldn’t stop rattling around in my brain so I drew it in a sorta speed run fashion over the past day (it took me like three days to actually start it) there are a few concepts I’ve been wanting to elaborate on that I implemented here.

When I heard The Ballad Of Lucy Gray somehow my brain immediately was like “hey ya know what would be sad?” And I was like :0 and I thought about it for ages and here we are (bonus points because I physically cannot get this song out of my head now as we speak I am packing and singing it)

I initially wasn’t gonna draw this at all and just let it rattle around in my head but “I know the soul that you struggle to save” really kinda sealed this one for me and because I have to be sad now YOU have to be sad

I was gonna draw the wound on Mind’s neck because that’s where I believe he was shot but I couldn’t get it to look right (I didn’t get it to look right here either) but this was the best bet to convey what happened. This was also my first time drawing a gunshot wound (I had to look up a reference sorry FBI agent🙃)

A lil hc for these designs, aside from their stars they glow independently but when they are injured the affected area dims as with the stars around it this concept has been with me ever since I started drawing them and is why I didn’t give soul his half and half deal though I’m rethinking that.

I wish Mind’s arm looked a bit different I think I’ll redraw him in short sleeves because with his arm I was going for an X-ray look along with the darkened gears to show that he does indeed have mechanical hands I don’t think I made it look as good as I could’ve.

This all came to be because I was gonna draw these three as Pokémon trainers (that did not happen) but I was gonna make Soul a psychic type trainer, Heart a fairy type trainer and Mind an electric type trainer (lol) I just really wanted to draw Soul w an Espeon ngl Dw btw that will happen.

Ok so I think that’s it?? I hope u like this one.

#chonny jash #cccc #cccc mind #chonny jash mind #chonny’s charming chaos compendium #sorry for the long ramble fr #I just have a lotta thoughts and not enough time Frfr #call me Alexander Hamilton cuz I AM writing like I’m running outta time

[lightsaroundyourvanity]

Like the whole idea of the Coffy s5 fic came from me headcanoning that Cordelia is like the only person who doesn't have any Dawn memories (because she's already got her hookup with the Powers That Be and they're too in her head for her memory to be overwritten by the monks spell thing) and it just never comes up because why would it she lives in her own separate sphere and barely ever interacts with the Sunnydale cast (I don't know if it does ever come up and is confirmed one way or the other later) anyway and then later on when the whole Riley Into the Woods thing (bleh) happened I was thinking it'd be nice if Buffy had a friend who'd also been cheated on and could comisserate with her, (and then maybe more eyebrows wiggle emoji?). Anyway so the concept right now is just a broad most things are similar AU but Cordy visits Sunnydale every few weeks on a weekend or something just to be like she lives in demon infested LA but it could be worse she could still live on top of a Hellmouth, everyone else is talking about Dawn like she's a thing, Cordy's got no idea, plays along thinking its some regular Sunnydale weirdness scheme happening, talks to Buffy about it and now Buffy has someone else who knows about the Dawn situation that she can talk to and they get closer (also I think it'd be really funny if Cordelia ran into Glory at the shops and they just hit it off immediately and go shopping together). But obviously I wanna finish S5 before I really get started there just to get all the facts y'know.

The Vamp!Willow/Harmony one is an AU where Wishverse!Willow doesn't get sent back to her own universe, she gets out of town comes back later and Harmony attaches herself to her so that Willow can be her evil mentor sorta figure after one of her many break ups with Spike. Willow hates it and is constantly trying to get away from her but eventually somewhat warms up to her as someone who isn't boring her right now (tentatively called Five Times Willow Rosenberg didn't kill Harmony Kendall)

And the Fuffy one is too ambitious, so like I really like Gwendolyn Post in Revelations so like full s3 redo where she gets to be around the whole time and works to make Faith into her personal attack dog, Faith gets to be messed up but in like somewhat different ways, it'll be fun. (this is the one I've written the most for but it would also be the biggest one so argh I really want to get back to it the last time I typed in that document was probably a couple months ago)

Also like there is admittedly a Cordelia/Willow one rattling around in here because they spent an entire night locked in a closet together and that's gotta lead somewhere right? One day it will reveal itself to me beyond the vague idea of hey what if Willow phoned up Cordelia after she broke up with Oz just to talk to someone who wouldn't treat her with the kid gloves?

And yeah I do really want to get something written and posted this month absolutely I will try.

i want to juice your brain like a lemon and drink it oh my god

#If you ever 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 needed someone 👀👀👀👀👀👀 to read and encourage you with that fuffy magnum opus #I’m available 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 #faith as gwendolyn posts attack dog makes me so completely insane oh man #asks #anonymous

[sliptohk]

Prompt #2: Bark

A small knife, sharpened to an edge keen enough to split hair that might fall across it, was the only proper way to collect the samples that Qata was so carefully drawing from the spindly little tree. A respectable feat to grow beneath the dense canopy that ensured the swampland beneath remained as dark, damp, and dreary as it was. While such a condition may have been off-putting to those more attuned to bright, sunlit meadows it was a lovely state for the young poisoner to collect samples from rare insects and plants that thrived there.

An impressive collection for the day, at that! From delightfully toxic mushrooms that would have unlucky sisters bemoaning their existence, to the debilitating diseases within insectile mandibles just waiting to lay burlier nuisances low for long enough to complete research upon the charmingly lethal seeds that had yet to be mastered. Yet to be named! The possibility of granting a title to a new concoction was enough to set the Keeper's tail whipping back in forth in clear excitement.

"Shimmers? Expulses? Whimpers? Whimpers! Hm. No, that sounds underwhelming."

Distracted by the loose concepts that had moved from mind to tongue, Qata felt the hard thump of a glass container striking her lightly on top of the head. Thankfully the flattened bottom, as having a bottle aggressively smashed over her skull would have addled the thoughts going through her mind rather than simply distracting them for a moment.

"What are you rambling on about, sister?" Pelhna scowled down at the shorter miqo'te, hand tapping that container a few more times for good measure. "Finally pickled your brain? Or is this the last bit of brine to finish the process?"

Glancing upward, Qata squinted in confusion at her. What last bit was the older woman talking about? It took several moments before she came to realize that they were talking about the strips freshly cut from the tree. And a good deal of effort not to break out into cackling that may have incited more enthusiastic fury from her short-tempered sister. Appraising the particularly large centipede rattling around in that jar helped shift thoughts down less amusing channels.

What a beautiful specimen. And the muscle contractions it induced were positively memorable!

"Yes, my dear sister! Have you not yet worked with it? Fantastic materials! Simply crush it to dust and it paralyzes the lungs! Cut too deep and the sap within twists your belly all up in knots if you consume even a drop! Why, I got a single splinter once before and was fairly certain I was going to lose the finger! Luckily Sehkrah was nearby to resolve the matter!"

As anticipated, the swift rattling off of particularly unappealing effects should the sapling be poorly handled was enough to earn a bit of space as Pelhna skittered back a couple steps. Though whether because Qata was speaking so enthusiastically with broad gestures of her knife wielding hand, or the sample holding one, was difficult to determine. But she was confident she could develop a strong theory regarding it should she so wish.

It was actually the overly thrilled, and unwittingly goofy, fang-bearing grin that had crossed her face that had actually accomplished it. Though she had never come to realize that was a familiar expression whenever she began to ramble on far too energetically about unsettling topics.

Stuffing that centipede into her satchel, Pelhna gave a brief hissed reply, "Just keep it away from my table! You never warn us when you leave such things unattended!"

"Rest assured, my most beloved sister! I would never do something like that! On purpose, that is. Never on purpose!"

Had it been any of the other Ooja of their generation, the comment would have been a lie. A bald-faced one, given the way they embraced the concept of sabotage so readily amongst the clan. But one of Qata's few virtues had always been her stalwart honesty. Often to a bafflingly overly frank fault.

Not in this situation, of course. At least not in regards to the exhaustive list of side effects she made up on the spot. Simply a harmless little lie to keep the less dexterous, or at least less self-destructive, Ooja from tampering with the lovely little tree she had discovered. It was of grave importance. A rarity amongst the Shroud, or at least the section of it that the Ooja resided in. Simply the pinnacle of material to work with.

It did make such a lovely smelling incense if properly processed.

Qata would happily come up with even more frightening descriptions of the sapling's effects so long as it kept anyone else from helping themselves to the harmless little thing instead.

#FFXIVWrite2023 #FFXIVWrite #Qata Ooja

[lgctaeha]

╭  ✿ STUTTER ! ╯

LGC GIRLS JAPAN ( interview )

It didn't take very long for Taeha to consider being called in Kim Hyuncheol's office something to fear. There were always rumors of trainees that had been pulled in for mysterious meetings only to never be seen again in practice sessions. Despite her appearance being completely voluntary, she can't help but feel a slight bout of nerves bubbling up in her chest. Nervous jitters seem to follow her into her seat, all of her focus shifting to maintaining her composure - and controlling the trembling of her hands in her lap. So, why are you interested in being in LGC GIRLS JAPAN?

She'd rehearsed her answer more times than she count count ( although she's certain her friends and dormmates most likely could with all of her endless obsessing over the past month ), but it seemed in the moment all coherent thought simply flittered right out of her brain and into the air vents. "Well, I - I -" she gulps, trying to swallow the ever forming lump in her throat as the silence lingers on. "I - I really like takoyaki," she blurts finally, blinking a few times.

"I've always wanted to try it. But the authentic kind... But that's not the only reason!" she gives an awkward chuckle, nails digging into her palms as she racks her brain for a more appropriate answer. With her mental script in the wind, she lets her nervous rambling take over. "I wanted to be in LGC Girls Japan because... I thought it would be a lot of fun! Girls Gotta Live was released around the time I joined Legacy and I just remember thinking that they looked so cool and wishing that I could be part of it - I even covered it for one of my solo evaluations!"

"And as trainees it's not often that we get the chance to see what it's like to promote in the way that LGC Girls do... and I just thought it would be a good way for me to showcase all that I've been working on this far! And I know it will be challenging in a lot of ways... I'm still working on my Japanese and getting used to performing on stage... but I feel like this is something that would really help me grow as a performer! Just taking another step towards being the kind of idol that I've always looked up to... So... that's why!" She gives an affirmative nod, anxiously twiddling her thumbs in her lap.

And considering the current confirmed members, what can you add to the formation on AND off stage if you are picked?

"Well..." she trails off again, gaze wandering this way and that. "I know that the current members have already been preparing for promotions, so I think it will be important to have someone that can catch on to things quickly! I have a strong dance background, so I know I'll be able to keep up with learning new choreography - " she states so matter-of-factly with a subtle lift of her brows. She didn't want to seem overconfident, but she knew her strengths and thought it best to highlight them. " - and whenever I can't I'll make sure to double down on my rehearsal time until I do! That and really encompassing the concept that we're given is important, right? With all of the extra acting workshops and musical preparations, I've been able to work on that a lot and I think I'll be able to handle whatever concept is thrown at me!"

"And off stage... I see myself as being someone who can add to the overall mood of a unit. I want to bring a lot of energy to the group... and laughs! I even learned a lot of tongue twisters in our Japanese lessons the other day and everyone thought they were really funny! Do you want to hear - !" she leans forward suddenly, excited to start rattling them off but thinks better of it. "Uh, sorry - What were you saying?"

Their interview comes to a close and once dismissed, a wave of relief washes over Taeha and carries her towards the door. Before she can rush off, she stops in the doorway to give a nod of her head and a bright smile, "Thank you for the opportunity and I look forward to meeting with you again! Or maybe not... Er, well, maybe yes, but for good things! Only for good things!"

#╰ ❮ ❀ legacy ⁄ casting ; ❯ #lgc:lgcgirlsjapan #( spoken wc: 405 ) #( you know the drill - brain is mush pretend this isn't here kthnxbye )

[scoundrels-in-love]

11,12,21, 24,25,69 for hte ask game 🐝

Hi lovely @bumble-b-goode, thank you so much for asking!! THREE HUNDRED YEARS LATER BECAUSE I LOST THE DRAFT.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

Honestly? I skip breakfast almost every day. Getting up is hard and my stomach doesn't seem to wake up until about half hour later, by which I'm often out the doors already and even on my days off, I often bother to eat only in afternoon. Definitely no set breakfast food, just whatever doesn't have to be prepared, if I do eat, like a leftover pastry.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

for rainy + v, the playlist I and friend share where we add music we think the other would like or are just vibing with/want to share. It's my 'someone was thinking of me' thread even when I am feeling quite lonely and isolated. Runner ups are Groovy Guitar Boys by same friend, Women rock by another friend and 2 Exchange Prompt playlists (one by me, another by a friend).

21. obsession from childhood?

Languages as a concept, animals (especially cats and bears), ancient Egypt and Venice, myths and cryptids around the world, a little bit dinosaurs, too. Although I was never the kid with 1000 hyperspecific facts on my obsessions, these things occupied important part of my brain and maybe I'm overestimating what an average adult knows on these topics because my coworkers thought African Spotted Dog plushie was a hyena and that a (black) panther is the same thing as cougar...

24. favorite crystal?

I saved this to drafts because I wanted to research to give names to some things rattling in my brain, and to double check if others count as crystals... And then I didn't. So, I will go with my basic answer of Amethyst. It's purple, it's so variable, it's stunning. I am a simple person.

Also love moss agate, onyx, hematite, sun stone, moon stone, mountain quartz and quite a few other semi-precious stones and the like.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Honestly? No idea, it all blurs toward the earlier years where I can't tell what's 'first', but I'd have to assume it was one of the German love ballads or yodeling or similar performances for this hour or half hour show that aired around news time on one of the TV channels. I remember jamming to it as a little baby - younger than 3 years old because my dad was still alive.

This is the vibe. The sets were very varied and great as was the music, actually.

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Some time ago, I specifically caught a fact like that in my head and put it in a box with such a title. The box is now empty, I only have the box.

I have nothing to offer, I am sorry.

Send me a weird ask that says a lot?<3

#ask games answered #lovely people #I am so sorry it took forever #sent on a cloud

[bunnywan]

oh look at that, like what i like is my fav fic by you too! how about 36 and 37?

from this ask game

answering this 2 days late .. thank u for ur patience <3

36. what fic are you proudest of?

this is a hard one !! i guess im proudest of the stuff that lived in my head for so long as a concept, stuff that i stewed on for like Months. fics like smells like sex (and candy), i wanna be owned, and i smile at the moon (death is on my face). the concepts for these fics rattled around in my brain for a long ass time -- a few were just lil daydreams i had before i even started writing fic.

37. what fic has been the hardest for you to write?

my most recent fic, i shouldn't cry (but i love it) gave me hell bc i had sooo many ideas for it that it was almost overwhelming. and i was so eager to post it that i even left some stuff out bc i was so writing fatigued and just wanted to share it ! i might end up doing a b-side to this in the future... i have so many scenes about obi-wan masturbating lol.

#wow i like titles with parentheses huh #ask game

[tonispencerart]

Site Specific: Human Life as a Theatre Performance

A few months ago, I made a series of paintings on some wooden slices based on the concept of Human Life as a Theatre Performance. I've explained in a previous post some of the Whys and What Fors - in particular, the four portraits I painted. I also included in my final piece some quotes from William Shakespeare's plays and made some little quill pens from tiny goose feathers as well as two larger quills from some goose wing feathers. I had a great but slightly frustrating afternoon trying to learn how to cut feathers into pens! I didn't quite get the hang of it but I have plenty of feathers left to figure it out. The ones I did make (the two big ones) held the ink well enough and did work, but I need to refine my cutting - and writing - techniques. Good ol' YouTube came in handy that day again! These are just some of the photos from the installation.

These were painted in acrylic paint. I used various green spaces in and around the area I live in in Glasgow. The idea was to play with the Shakespeare In The Park (or, as we have here in Glasgow - Bard In The Botanics). Bard In The Botanics is an annual thing held in the Botanic Gardens in the West End of Glasgow; an outdoor performance (obviously) of a number of Shakespeare's plays (weather permitting, which is also obvious. We're made of strong stuff in Scotland though. We're used to the rain, although sometimes it does take us by surprise.) And, if you come early enough before a show, you could potentially enjoy Byres Road. Byres Road is very cool and has lots of nice places to stop and eat. Honestly, Byres Road basically has everything you could possibly need on one road! Anyway, when I was thinking about where I wanted to put my art (mostly so I could photograph it), the thought of being in green spaces made me laugh when I thought about the whole Shakespeare In The Park/Bard In The Botanics idea. I'm easily amused... And, lucky for me, there are several green spaces and parks close to where I live.

I didn't use all of the local parks, though I wish I could have. I had to plan and time my outings for installation very carefully due to the weather. I wasn't able to source any outdoor varnish in time for the piece so nothing would have protected the paintings from the rain.

One set of photos was taken in a small green area outside the local library. I wanted to include the library in the photos where possible.

I also took some shots when it was dark. Initially what I wanted to do was include small lights and candles, but for safety reasons, I chose not to at the last minute. And none of my lights actually worked on the day/night I set out to do it. Because of course, they didn't...

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to fully explore the theme as deeply as I would have wanted to. As I mentioned previously, I had several issues even getting to this point so I had to work with what I had/could at the time. It's a theme/concept that's still rattling around my brain so I expect I'll go deeper into it and do some more on it at some point. It was a theme that I found particularly enjoyable and thought-provoking and I really enjoyed this project - once it all started coming together, anyway. It was a very steep learning curve but I got a lot out of it.

#art #fine art #traditional art #theatre #christopher marlowe #william shakespeare #acrylic paint #painting #will tnt #jamie bower #human life as theatre #site specific art #art installation #glasgow

[rushwingtales]

Leafpool's Wish Rewritten Chapter 7

Part 6

Beginning

Nippy white shards pricked at Leafpool’s numb paw pads as she blinked against the dim dawn light. Up much earlier than she’d wanted. Solid snow had settled in the camp, hardening like a new layer of gleaming stone. The pale sun’s long rays caught at just the right angle, a million stars gleaming like a frosty version of the Moonstone, long forgotten back at the Old Forest. Arching her spine, Leafpool failed to get the grogginess out of her system, having gotten pitiful sleep.

Yet no matter how much she had tousled and turned around in the moss last night, like hovering flies, guilt and fear had refused to let her mind settle. She took a moment to enjoy the chilled crisp air as it filled her lungs as she stood in the open clearing. Relieved to escape her claustrophobic den, feeling narrower with each passing day. Branches of the fallen tree rattled as Daisy slid out from Elder’s den, carrying dirty moss, dumping it outside of the Apprentice’s den for one of its members to clear out later.

Since there were no kits in the Nursery, while Ferncloud had returned to her warrior duties, Daisy had taken up caring for the oldest instead of the youngest. As she plodded past, Dasiy gave Leafpool a pleasant dip of the head, who stood there as a drained husk. Before Leafpool’s slow-moving brain could process a response, Daisy had already vanished into the gloomy shelter again. Hissing to herself that she’d missed the chance to lighten this bleak situation with a polite conversation. Especially with the Queen who was likely going to help raise her kits once they were in Squirrelflight’s care.

What time was it anyway? Attempting to knock herself out of her confused daze, Leafpool’s blurry vision swept across the edges of camps to see who was awake. Though roughly four or five clanmates were active, everyone else was still tucked away in their dens. Only Dawn patrol and last night’s guard were working this early in the day.

Like cruel claws of ice scraping down her back, a freezing wind managed to burrow its way beyond the cliff barriers into camp. Instantly the few cats around scattered like ants into thick bushes or caves, desperate to escape the weather. Reluctantly, Leafpool had to retreat into her lonely corner of Thunderclan. Recently Leafbare’s reign had gotten so harsh, that Firestar had ordered all cats without duties to keep warm in their dens and reserve their energy. For once a valid excuse for Clan cats to act like Kittypets.

Slumping down onto the cold stone, Leafpool kept her eyes firmly on the entrance. Vaguely hoping to spot the faces of the kin and friends she’d grown up with all her life. Yet the bitter wind kept it the rock hollow empty and barren of life. It was a hard concept to grasp, that from this day on, apart from Squirrelflight, all of Thunderclan would think Leafpool had been kidnapped forever. First their old deputy, Graystripe and now their Medicine cat. She’d be making her Clanmates think Twolegs were even more of a threat.

Curling up into a ball, Leafpool had never felt more alone in life, with no hope of escaping it, sworn into silence by Starclan itself. Yet an abrupt wriggling sensation came from under her soft belly like swimming fish, reminding her otherwise. Would you even remember our short time together, my kits? It’s not that it mattered what Leafpool felt anymore, it was only about them.

“None of this is your fault, little ones.”, she whispered, pressing her muzzle to her flank, “I and your father made an awful mistake and we’re punished for it. But you don’t need to worry. You’ll grow up happy under loyal parents, just like you deserve.”, she breathed, the purr beginning to rise in her throat. Relishing in the wonders of motherhood while she still could.

“And I promise, even if I can’t be your mother, I’ll do everything I can to protect you.”, she announced, trying to make out their tiny heartbeats as her ear lay flat against them, “You’re a blessing from Starclan and I’ll always love you, even if you don’t know it.”.

No matter how much Leafpool wanted a response, the underdeveloped scraps under her pelt didn’t even twitch. Even if they could somehow hear her, there was no way her kits could understand a single word. And they shouldn’t either. They needed to keep safe from the harsh truth and so couldn’t be allowed to remember anything hinting towards Leafpool’s true relationship with them.

Yet Leafpool’s self-pitying wasn’t allowed to last as rustling came from elsewhere. However instead of it being one of the dens, it came from the thorn tunnel as Squirrelflight appeared, her fur bristled up as a spiky barrier against the unforgiving cold. Braving the freezing waves of wind, Leafpool went to the clearing to greet her, “How are you returning to camp?”, she gasped, pressing close together to share their warmth, “How early did you wake up?”.

Even if no one else was daring to venture outside of their warmer dens, Squirrelflight still lowered her head, whispering, “I have the luxury of staying in camp the next moon, so it’s only fair I do this last bit of work.”, she mewed, “The scene has already been set up, two two-leg scents and everything.”.

Nearby, Spiderleg was on guard duty, struggling not to fall asleep. As the sisters approached, it finally gave the bored tom something to do. "Sneaking off to see Crowfeather, are we Leafpool?", he coldly snorted. Leafpool flinched violently at the remark. Please don't let that be any more than a joke! Sharply turning her head towards Spiderleg, Squirrelflight spat back, "Oh, shut up! It barely lasted a day and nothing came out of it. Let it go already.". Holding up his paw defensively, the black warrior narrowed his eyes, "Fine- Whatever! Keep your fur on, foxheart.".  Keeping her head down in shame, Leafpool silently trodded out of the camp while the stubborn clanmates stared each other down. Out in the forest, Leafpool could finally speak freely, “What excuse did you use to get up so early?”, Leafpool added quickly.

Squirrelflight shrugged, “Just said the kits were fidgeting, so went on a night’s run to deal with it. Does that sound weird to me?”.

All Leafpool could do was be completely honest, “Sounds just like you to me.”, she admitted. “Exactly.”, the ginger she-cat rasped.

Just as Squirrelflight finished speaking, the sound of crunching paws against snow caught both their attention. Brambleclaw approached, leaving deep tracks in his path from his heavyweight, “Did exercise help with the pain at all?”, he asked warily, pressing his muzzle to his mate’s plump belly, “Not even born yet and those furballs are already as feisty as their mother.”

Still awkward from Brambleclaw’s exposed secrets, Squirrelflight made him keep his distance with her tail, “Not yet.”, She still purred at the joke, “But I’m heading out with Leafpool to grab the right herb.”.

Hearing this, Brambleclaw’s amber gaze drifted over to Leafpool, ear twitching curiously, “You seriously don’t have anything stocked after that herb spree yesterday?”, he asked in disbelief.

Leafpool snorted, “Even a whole day isn’t enough to collect every herb type, Brambleclaw.”. Though what she technically said was true, deception still lurked underneath. As Leafpool and Squirrelflight had purposefully left out borage from their last trip, they’d have the excuse to go out a second time.

Brambleclaw blinked thoughtfully for a moment, “If this carries on, do you think Squirrelflight will need to move to the Nursery?”, he finally asked. Of course this, the independent Squirrelflight had an instant and strong reaction, “Excuse me, I’m the one who’s pregnant.”, she snapped, beating her tail on the white floor, “So I’ll decide that!”.

Leafpool cooly laid her tail over an enraged Squirrelflight, like flinging solid ice into a blazing fire. Calmly she explained, “Most Queens don’t move until a moon is in and Squirrelflight is only a half-moon, so it’ll be awhile to go.”, she mewed. Both of them reluctantly nodding, Leafpool changed course towards the Thorn tunnel, “We should get going.”, she mewed, calling back to Brambleclaw, “Tell Firestar we’re out if he asks.”.

As they passed a dozing Spiderleg and the Thorn tunnel, the forest stretched before them, stained white, with sharp snow or ice clinging to every surface like a pest. Thick grey clouds gathered on the corner of the sky like a hunter waiting in hiding to strike and drown the landscape ever further in Leafbare. All trees had been struck bare of leaves, leaving their naked branches to be battered by the cruel wild. Would the Horse Place allow her kits to escape this harsh season? Would Squirrelflight be able to handle it and keep up the lie at the same time?

After a while, Leafpool finally felt confident enough to turn to Squirrelflight, “Actually, Brambleclaw has the right idea. Since you’re only plump from food, we can’t afford you to be burning fat on Warriors duties, or you’ll lose your pregnant belly. So, I know you’ll probably say no but- could you move into the Nursery early? Maybe in reaction to my disappearing. It could make it look more convincing. ”, Leafpool stammered off into silence, she wondered if her littermate had even heard half of her rambling.

However, Squirrelflight responded with a groan so impressively loud, Leafpool wasn’t aware that was possible for a cat, “I’ll do what’s necessary for the kits. But don’t expect me not to moan about it.”. Twisting her neck like a snake, Leafpool stared directly at Squirrelflight. Up until this point, she hadn’t truly recognized just how lucky to have someone at her side. To all those other forbidden mates who were completely alone is world waiting to snap at them with death or exile. At every turn, with no hope of escape. Leafpool couldn’t dare to imagine.

With the deepest of sighs, Leafpool began her long painful speech, “I’m sorry for having to make you do all this-”. However, suddenly her open jaw was filled with a mouthful of fur, blocking the words. “That’s enough.”, Squirrelflight ordered.

Before Leafpool could spit out the tail and reply, Squirrelflight suddenly threw herself at a nearby oak. With bursting speed, true to her name, she scaled the nearly vertical trunk with the skill of a squirrel, disappearing into its branches. Leaving Leafpool standing there, lost for words.

Using all her body weight, Squirrelflight slammed onto the lowest branch, a large clump of snow piled on top. Unable to react in time, the icy powder drenched Leafpool from head to tail, the sudden stab of cold making her gasp.

Instinctively, Leafpool rapidly shook off every flake from her brown pelt, coming down in a waterfall of white. Instead of explaining her immature behaviour, as soon as Squirrelflight’s paws hit the ground, she swerved, tumbling into the scrawny thicket. “Squirrelflight!”, Leafpool called, “Where are you doing? This is serious!”.

However as the rustling faded into the distance, it became clear she wasn’t coming back, forcing Leafpool to give chase. What was her sister playing at? A forest all its own, Leafpool blindly stumbled through the massive plant patch, dead roots tugged at her paws and sharp twigs scraped against her face. Brown leaves now too heavy for their shrivelled stems slumped over to create an arching roof, sealing Leafpool inside.

The only guidance in this lake of rotting undergrowth was the hushed crinkling of flattening leaves as Squirrelflight trampled them, somewhere out there. Straining her ears, Leafpool struggled to locate the subtle noise against the wall of howling wind high above. Did Thunderclan's hunters have to go through this every day?

Then a sharp hiss rang as her littermate must have stepped on a sharp object, giving Leafpool all the direction she needed. Spinning round, the Medicine cat traced the source of the sound to the edge of a thicket. However, Squirrelflight picked up on Leafpool nearing, giving up on hiding and just trying to escape, bolting out from the tangle of roots like orange lightning.

Refusing to play this game any longer, Leafpool legged it after her, using every piece of energy she had to spare. Now in the open, only speed could decide who would be victorious. “Can we stop this now?”, Leafpool begged loudly, her voice heavy with panting. Nimble as ever, Squirrelflight causally leapt from log to log like a toad, having a great time. “Only when you catch me!”, the ginger she-cat cheered.

What were they, kits? They were supposed to be protecting actual kits, not pretending to be one! Having enough, Leafpool decided to pull Squirrelflight’s trick against her, halting suddenly and ducking under a decaying stump. It took a few heartbeats for her prey to notice the lack of a hunter, searching her forest surroundings.

Pressing hard against the bark, Leafpool hoped its musty tang would be enough to conceal her Thunderclan scent. Stinking her muzzle to the bare earth, Squirrelflight’s nose and eyes scanned every surface, slowly edging towards Leafpool’s tree stump. Trying to remember the little she knew of hunting, Leafpool gathered her weight under her, piling it into her legs as she crouched there. 

Steadying her back paws, she waited for Squirrelflight to come into pouncing distance, then struck! Leaping into the air, Leafpool quickly focused the force onto her littermate’s shoulder, knocking her down. Unable to find their footing in time, both were sent tumbling down the sloping hillside in a ball of rolling fur.

Luckily Squirrelflight managed to detach from the flailing paws, twisting to grab Leafpool’s scruff and grinding her claws into the snow until they came to a shakey stop. Shaking down their ruffed pelts from the snow and dirt, they had landed in a shallow gully at the bottom of the hill, carved out by an ancient river, now long dried up. Trees desperately clung to its steep sides at odd angles, upturning the earth and exposing their snaking roots. Ready to topple in any heartbeat.

Leafpool flattened her ears in annoyance, she stared down at her mouse-brained sister, who still cleaned her messy coat, “When you go into the Nursery soon, do you want to be a Queen or a kit?”, she hissed, not in the mood anymore.

Nudging a twig out from behind her ear, Squirrelflight just snorted, “If you’re going to leave, then I make you leave smiling. Not like the miserable lump you’ve been over the past few days.”. Flinching at those words, Leafpool couldn’t help but silently agree. Since she’d realized she was pregnant, all she’d been doing was moping about her den and drowning in her self-pity.

“I guess having a bit of fun before I go wouldn’t hurt.”, Leafpool weakly purred, sitting back on her haunches, trying to relax. Squirrelflight pressed her flank against Leafpool’s, brushing her silky tail against her cheek, “Even if you made a mistake Leafpool, that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to be happy.”.

“I guess.”, Leafpool sighed, feeling the shame drain away to cold numbness. Feeling strangely weak, Squirrelflight allowed Leafpool to lean on her shoulder as the journey made them follow the rest of the ditch. Along the way, Leafpool collected every herb the barren rocky path had to offer. To give the impression that they’d been collecting herbs. Though the selection was pitiful, only a few strands of withered yarrow and tansy. Through wedged deep between two boulders, Leafpool divorced an upturned Borage plant, blew down by the wind.

“Good find!”, Squirrelflight exclaimed, “That will be useful for secret supplies.”. Carrying the drooping stems, Leafpool tried answering through closed teeth, “Even when I’m gone, you’ll need to remember to keep up the borage doses and extra prey.”. Ear twitching, Squirrelflight glanced down at her growing belly with a groan, “Can’t wait.”, she drily remarked.

Soon, the tall walls of the gully sloped downwards, until eventually, they were non-existent, joining together at a single point, creating a dead end. Scrambling up onto higher land again, Leafpool finally noticed the wide spaces between trees, without much greenery to fill in the emptiness left behind. Only large mounds of mushy fallen leaves gave this place any distinction.

Tasting the air, Thunderclan’s scent marks grew faint, now mingling with outside scents of foxes and two legs. Laying a paw onto the damp ground, Leafpool now stood on the Thunderclan border not shared by any other Clan. Signalling the end of Leafpool’s beloved home and the start of the vast unknown worlds beyond.

Yet it wasn’t over, as Squirrelflight made them follow the border even further up, where the oaks made an eerily perfect circle, creating a neat forest opening. Then it was clear why she’d been brought here. Round the clearing; claw marks were scraped into the bark of trees, fallen leaves were wildly scattered around while earth and snow tracks remained upturned.

“Convincing?”, Squirrelflight mewed with pride and she had every right to. It certainly resembled the aftermath of a gruesome struggle. Telling a detailed story of a cat desperately lashing out and clinging to the ground as they were hauled by a larger creature they were helpless to defend themselves.

“It certainly is.”, Leafpool gazed, feeling impressed and uneasy at the same time. Even worse when she remembered this was all for her. This is what her Clanmates would inversion her when Squirrelflight claims she was kidnapped. But what she didn’t expect, was the nasty smell two-leg hanging in the atmosphere.

“How did you get it smelling like Twolegs? This is amazing.”, Leafpool exclaimed, following the edges of the clearing with her muzzle. Remaining sitting at the centre, Squirrelflight shrugged, “I had to roll in two-leg gardens last night to get it over here. I smelt worse than a Shadowclan cat covered in foxing.”.

After laughing at her joke, burying down the pain, Squirrelflight hurriedly moved on. Arching her ears, she pointed out a distinctive elm tree among this oak-filled landscape. At the exact centre, the trunk was snapped in half, like a giant claw had slashed through it, threads of the sorter and paler wood pouring out of the wound.

Brushing her tail against the rough timber, Squirrelflight mewed, “When the kits are born and ready to be picked up from the Horse Place, leave a scratch mark on this tree. A patrol will report that and I’ll know it’s you.”. Nerves pricked at Leafpool’s fur, needing to risk coming so close to the border when she was supposed to be missing. Though it was necessary, the safest way to communicate.

Testing it, Leafpool flexed her claws into the dead trunk, soft from decay, perfect for a clear scratch mark. While she fused over the scenery, she barely noticed Squirrelflight dragging out a chestnut brown hare from a clump of brambles. “And one last thing-”, Squirrelflight mewed, letting it fall limp on the floor, “A Rabbit served fresh from the moors. A gift from Crowfeather.”.

Instantly, Leafpool stared at Squirrelflight, massive fear rapidly building like a fire, “You didn’t tell him about the kits, did you?”, she gasped.

To her relief, Squirrelflight quickly shook her head, “No- no. I came across him on a border patrol and told him you wanted to taste Windclan rabbit again.”, her sister mewed, “So we made a little trade- A Thunderclan squirrel for this rabbit.”

Nervously, Leafpool poked at the limp prey with her paw, very tempted by it, “But what if Onestar finds out about this?”, she asked, “He’ll think Thunderclan stealing prey.”. I dread to think what the impulsive Windclan leader could do to Thunderclan without its Medicine cat.

“Relax.”, Squirrelflight insured, nudging it towards her, “Crowfeather hid its scent before it even crossed the border.”. Sniffing at its wispy fur, there wasn’t a trace of heather on it. Instead only the moist reek of mushrooms, freshly rolled in the fungi. Confident it was safe to eat, Leafpool nodded gratefully towards Squirrelflight, before tearing into the sweet meat.

It had been so long before Leafpool had an entire fresh-kill all to herself, that she almost felt greedy. But those feelings of guilt were quickly washed down by the juicy taste of Windclan, crewer then Thunderclan’s usual prey. Unable to remember the last time Crowfeather had hunted for her. Even if he didn’t know it, he was helping to sustain the development of his kits by keeping Leafpool fed. I’ll make sure every one of our litter survives to become proud warriors, Crowfeather, no matter which clan they belong to.

Soon, the delicious rabbit was reduced to thin bones and a furry hide, Leafpool sitting back and lashing up the last food scraps from around her muzzle. Satisfied to allow this moment to last forever. However knowing she couldn’t pulse time, Leafpool forced herself to reluctantly bury the leftovers under the scattered leaves. Crowfeather’s gift would not to go waste.

The whole time Squirrelflight had patiently waited for Leafpool without a moan, crouched at the edge of the messy clearing. Padding over with a full belly, Medicine cat’s throat soon dried up. “This is it, isn’t it?”, Leafpool whispered.

Attempting to hide her emotions, Squirrelflight just shrugged, “Yeah. I guess it is.”, she muttered, forcing a pleasant twitch of the whiskers. The wind weaving through the rustling bracken was like the forest itself whispering to her, beckoning Leafpool.

Beyond the border, the trees kept diminishing in number, fewer and fewer, until there was nothing at all, only long fields of grass and weeds. Nothing on the outside to remind her of home. Even though she was facing the dangerous outside world alone, she still wanted to know that her clanmates' distant hopes and prayers could give her strength through it all.

“Don’t give it away, but when you tell Thunderclan a Twoleg caught me- remind them I’m not actually dead and can still come back.”, Leafpool begged, “I want them to have some hope.”.

Brushing her tail against Leafpool’s bony flank, Squirrelflight softly purred, “Of course I will.”.

Though there was a hollowness in that purr.

For all this time, the sisters had sheltered themselves under their wall of lies and silence. Yet they no longer had that luxury. Despite the details being a lie, those words Squirrelflight would utter to the whole clan would be true - Leafpool would be missing, going past the Clans’ domain, where anything could happen to her or the kits and they would be none the wiser.

Even moments away from leaving, Leafpool still couldn’t help herself but continue supporting her sister, “So- Make sure you keep up your extra prey and Borage leaves.”, Leafpool reminded her in a stuttering voice, “And even if you don’t know that much- Could you help Brightheart and Sandstorm whenever you ca-”.

For her good, Squirrelflight interrupted her with a sharp yap, “Leafpool!”. Flattening down her burning brown pelt with her tongue, “It’s best you just go. Don’t make this any more painful.”. The sisters shuffled closer together, burying their heads into their shoulders and tail curled round in a circle. Their breathing is perfectly in sync as if one living creature. For the longest time, nobody dared move.

What could have been a heartbeat or a moon, desperately Leafpool gripped onto Squirrelflight, the only one who understood. A cat who would still love her even if Leafpool had a river of innocent blood at her feet. Starclan had truly blessed her with the best sister.

Though for the best, the ginger withdrew her glowing warmth from Leafpool as she stepped back, letting Leafbare’s chilling grip burrow down into her bones once again. Forcing herself not to glance back, Squirrelflight grabbed the herbs and silently slipped across the scattered remains of the clearing, soon lost to the sea of greeny.

With nothing else to do, Leafpool drifted in the opposite direction, like a lost chick who had dropped out of the nest.

***********************************

Swiping the prickly weeds from her face, Leafpool stepped out from the large patch of tangling brush. Ahead of her were dense unfamiliar shrublands of dull greens and yellows, stumpy short trees barely peeking out from the tufts of long grass. Sloping downwards to the hard surface of the black sticky stone of a small Thunderpath, burning with a smoke-like scent, venomous to her sensitive nose. Without Monsters zipping past at blinding speed, the Thunderpath seemed mostly abandoned, allowing brown dust to settle.

More snow had flattered down from the heavens, crisping up the surrounding thicket. Though the heavy grey clouds had cleared up to either side of the sky, that didn’t stop the sunlight from dimming as the sun crept towards the horizon. The Thunderclan border was long out of sight, only a narrow line of green in the far distance.

By now, Squirrelflight must have already lied to their Clanmates that a Twoleg had snatched Leafpool away. How were they all handling it? Her parents especially must have been having an awful time.  This wasn’t the first time a daughter had disappeared, happening before when Squirrelflight had left for the Sun-drown place. Yet this wasn’t the same. At least with her littermate, she had five travelling companions to help protect her. But for Leafpool, she was alone, with unborn litter to take care of.  Placing the blame on a two-leg, twisted everything to become darker and uglier. All cats were painfully aware of the power Twolegs held over them, first destroying their forest territories and then snatching away their former deputy for seasons on end. Now Thunderclan thought the same fate had fallen upon their Medicine cat. Without Leafpool, Brightheart would think she’d have to take up an unwanted rank for a lifetime despite having a mate and kit. Would she handle the stress of it all? Could Sandstorm provide any aid in her grief? Was the emotional manipulation of everyone they knew justified? On the assumption that Thunderclan's hatred might be so much, they'd ignore the warrior code to punish innocent kits? Whether Leafpool was being selfish or selfless, it was impossible to say anymore. But there was no point in turning back now.

“I’ll be back soon.”, Leafpool quietly promised, somehow wishing the rippling breeze to pick up the words like a dead leaf, delivering the message home. Sighing, she pressed onwards.

Crowfeather’s rabbit had given her the energy necessary to make the long journey to Horse Place, but that didn’t stop her from becoming breathless and her paws numb. Usually, the trek would have been reasonably short, able to easily make it within a day. However, Leafpool has been forced to make a large detour from the usual path, travelling in a long arch outside the territories instead of cutting straight through them.

Not even able to travel near the borders, as if she was spotted by an enemy patrol, Squirrelflight’s story could be shattered at the next Gathering. So the only route possible, was in those barren hills far away from the lake, not another Clan cat in sight. Unless Thunderclan sent out a search patrol, attempting to track her scent. Yet even that wasn’t enough, as Leafpool smelt of nothing but frosty snow, rolling in it from head to tail.

Following the dusty Thunderpath up north, it veered back in the direction of the Lake, Shadowclan’s pines and Windclan’s moors growing larger. However just before Leafpool came dangerously close to exposure, the hard stone surface of the Thunderpath turned to a dirt track underfoot.

Soon, Leafpool found herself at the end of the shrubbery, the only plant life outstretching in the vast field was short grass, almost trimmed to their roots. Everything else was a strange two-leg object beyond a cat’s understanding.

Pacing round its borders, Leafpool considering turning around and giving birth out in the wilderness somewhere. However, a sudden blast of wind swept fresh fox scent over her, alerting her to its recent presence. Even worse, was that milk was among the rotten smell. It must've been the pregnant fox driven out of Thunderclan territory serval sunsets ago.

Squirrelflight was right: It was either foxes killing her or Twolegs capturing her. Gulping, Leafpool returned to the Horse Place. Crisscrossing white two legs fences marked the start of a Twoleg’s territory, solid masses of red stone and wood laying at its centre. Barricaded among the fences, the huge muscular frames of horses trotted around the confined spaces. If Twolegs could contain such powerful animals, they could easily do the same to Leafpool. She knew that better than most from her own experience. Back when she was only Leafpaw and fleeing the crumbling forest, alongside other Clan cats, Twolegs had briefly imprisoned her inside boxes. Would the ones from Horse Place do the same? From Firestar's kittypet tales, they seemed impossible to predict: Some tried feeding cats while others would give chase. It was best just to assume all Twolegs as the enemy.    

Leaning against the outermost wooden post, she hesitated to enter inside, Leafpool fearing either the heavy hooves of the horse or the grasping hands of Twolegs. Was this the best place for her kits? What if she couldn’t hide her kits from the Twolegs and they took them away like Floss’s kits?

Could Leafpool even trust the Horseplace cats to keep her secret? They're disconnected to the Warrior Code was a blessing and a curse. They’d only see her litter as innocent kits, not Half-clan filth like some Clan cats would. However, they could accidentally spill secrets, unknowing of the danger it would her family in. Well, if she was staying with them for the next moon, she’d make them understand. She had to.

However, all those dreaded questions were cut short when the fence above her swayed under a cat's weight. “Howdy down there! You’re one of Daisy’s Clan friends, ain’t ya?”, a silvery voice called. Perched on the fence, a lean grey and white tom peered down at Leafpool with a curious yellow gaze. It was Smokey, Dasiy’s fellow loner.

Dipping her head in greeting, Leafpool answered, “Yes, I’m Thunderclan’s Medicine cat, Leafpool. Do you remember me, Smokey?”. With a moment’s thought, the loner’s fluffy tail twitched approvingly, “Oh boy I do.”, Smokey exclaimed with laughter, “That wacky cat is obsessed with plants. So how are my kits?”.

Ignoring his annoying comment, Leafpool just focused on the question, “Daisy's lot? They’re doing well.”, She informed him, “All three of them have been appointed apprentices, so they’re now: Berrypaw, Hazelpaw and Mousepaw.”.

Seemingly relaxed in the Clan cat’s presence, Smokey licked at his paw and swiped it over his face before answering, “So that’s what those furballs are called now? Wow, you Clan cats sure like your wordy names.”. Leaping down from the fence, Smokey landed on the rough grass, uncomfortably close to Leafpool, brushing his tail against her flank, “So what can I do for a fine she-cat like you?”, he asked smoothly with slow blinks.

He’s trying to flirt with me! Heating up with embarrassment, she quickly shuffled away from him. Straightening up, Leafpool got down to business, “I know this is a lot to ask of you.”, she admitted, “But I need a place to give birth to my kits. Away from the Clan territories, they can’t know of their existence.”.

A flash of disappointment went over Smokey’s face with the mention of her pregnancy, those it was quickly replaced with disgust, “Sounds nasty.”, he growled, “Do they actually forbid some cats having kits?”. Flattening her ears, Leafpool hated to confess any flaws in the group she’d grown up with but it had to be said. “Well yes, Unfortunately.”, she replied.

To her relief, Smokey just shrugged, “Hey, ain’t my business.” he sneered, “So stay as long as you want.”

Leafpool pricked with pleasant surprise, “Really?”, she mewed, “With all due respect- I didn’t expect you to be so calm about this. You're letting a stranger into your home after all.”. Instead of standing around to have the rest of the conversation, Smokey crawled onto his belly, inviting Leafpool to join him with his tail. While still moving, Smokey answered her, “We’ve got more food and room to know what to do with. So the extra company would be nice.”.

Then, they were ducking and weaving between a maze of white bark, edging towards the Barn-like structure at the centre. After a pause, Smokey added in a serious tone, “And if kits are really in danger for whatever reason, you won’t find me standing aside.”. Leafpool couldn’t help but admire the loner’s courage to protect her unborn litter, even if he wasn’t their father.

“Will your two legs mind me around here?”, she asked as they followed a sandy path free of snow, probably cleared out by the local Housefolk. Unbothered, Smokey shook his tail dismissively, “As long as you stay away from my Nofurs’ nest, those big lumps wouldn’t even notice if I dropped dead right now. I think they only keep us around for the mice.”. 

Briefly, Leafpool was unsure how to handle the Loner using another name for the Twolegs, but quickly chose to ignore it. She blinked in confusion, “Why would large two legs need you for such smaller creatures?”, she asked. How could they control massive creatures like horses but not deal with tiny mice?

“Not the slightest clue.”, Smokey chuffed with amusement, “But believe me when I say, put a mouse and a two-leg in the same room and it’s chaos. It’s quite hilarious actually.”. That was certainly hard to imagine. Were Twolegs really as scary as she thought they were? No wonder so many kitty pets enjoyed living with them like Kin.

Finally, they made it to a large Twoleg nest, its walls made of pale stone while the doors hung open, made from narrow strips of wood. Shouldering their way through the small split, the air turned stuffy, a stark contrast from the empty and cold atmosphere of the outside. Fiery twilight filtered through openings in the Barn’s walls, tinting the golden hay piles purple.

As soon as she was in the shelter of the Barn, Leafpool shook down her wind-battered pelt, scattering snowflakes. “I’ll be right back.”, Smokey mewed, disappearing round a corner into the wider opening. While he was gone, Leafpool took the time to assess her temporary home. The short pattering of paws told prey wandered among those walls.

Resisting the urge to hunt, she poked at the dried grass with her paws, even softer than nests back at camp. At the far end of the Barn, smooth silver and wooden objects were balanced against the wall, many like huge craved claws. At last, a weak purr crept out of Leafpool’s throat. The guilt of abandoning Thunderclan a second time would always weigh her down but now she had everything she needed: Prey, shelter and warmth.

Settling down after the exhausting experience, Leafpool whispered to her kits, “You’re safe now.”, she announced with relief. The Barn came in two levels, An elevated platform made from a floating log, created extra storage for hay. From atop of this came Smokey’s excited yowl, “Floss! We’ve got a new friend!”.

#bramblestar #brambleclaw #crowfeather #hollyleaf #jayfeather #leafpool #lionblaze #rewrite #squirrelflight #warrior cats #leafpool's wish #warrior cats fanfic #erin hunter #warriors #thunderclan #leafxcrow #leafpoolxcrowfeather

[lucithornz]

Unsought is Better - Director's Commentary

Here are some personal thoughts now that I've finished Unsought is Better. Creating this post as much for myself as potentially curious readers. Another fic author I love made a “Director's Commentary post” and I loved the idea, so I wanted to try my hand at it.

The Concept

I have had a few omegaverse ideas rattling around for some months. But didn't do anything with them. Then I came across a few fics that a group of authors did called “The Wheel of Fate Challenge.” Where challenge was to randomly assign secondary genders for the main cast of DNF and write a story using that dynamic.

The collection of WOF works is here, my work isn't a part of it, but inspired by the challenge these wonderful authors came up with.

I love writing challenges, and my lovely beta reader had been begging me to write in omegaverse. I told her I'd write it to say thanks when I finished another work(different fandom). Well I did, and she was like, “Hey, spin the wheel.” We are both omegaverse fans, but she's got me beat in pure obsession for the sub-genre.

So I put the standard 3 omegaverse genders into a random spin app and spun for each character.

The results: Omega Dream, Omega Sapnap, Alpha George, Beta Karl. I did spin for characters added later, but these are the ones I started with.

Upon seeing this I was like “WTF am I supposed to do with this?” I very much enjoy stories with Alpha Dream and Omega George(I'm basic, but it's a classic). So reversing the dynamic was tough for me to wrap my brain around. Like in my head those designations fit their characters personalities best. So I had to figure out a way to write the dynamic and still make it feel authentic to characterization.

But something clicked a few days later. I'd had the idea of finding someone in heat in public with no other information, and ending up in an accident. Essentially those first two chapters are the inciting incident concept. I love the tension that creates. And I wrote the first chapter to see if it felt right.

My beta reader loved it, and said I better not mess up writing omega Dream, but that she was totally on board for the rest.

Chapter Commentary

Chapters 1 and 2:

This was my setup, the concept I'd had for a while just waiting to be used. When I got the random assignments this just felt right.

My intention was to contrast a really dark setup with people just doing the right thing. I think it's easy to see how horrifically wrong things could have gone. People doing the right thing, even when they aren't asked, was a big theme for me.

I did make sure to include tags to let people know that even though it seems dark nothing awful is gonna happen to the main cast. Because after I wrote the chapter I was like “damn this could be the start to a really good horror”.

The Twelfth Night definitely served as some inspiration in this piece. I won't go over all of the references, as I'm sure that will bore people. I had a lot of fun picking out quotes that applied to each chapter. The famous line “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.” was the inspiration for the title, and just fit the story I had conceptualized so well. At this point it's a theme with me to include classical literature references in my DNF works.

Finally my beta reader very much wanted social issues for omegaverse included and explored in the story. I really like fleshing out my worlds, so that ended up being quite fun. This was more prevalent in some chapters than others.

Chapter 3 and 4:

These chapters include an idea I also wanted to play around with; that being platonic heat care. Plays into the “doing the right thing” theme, and also adds a lot of commentary about consent, especially in omegaverse. It was really important to me to show that who a character is isn't defined by their identity designation. I wanted to get into what happens when someone feels at odds with their secondary gender, how that affects their self esteem etc. And also exploring the ideas of consent of being looked at or touched.

These chapters also are where I really figured out how to make alpha George make sense to me. He may not be super aggressive or boisterous etc, but he is very good at caring and providing. Like he really wants to protect Dream and make sure he's okay. Once I figured that out alpha George made a lot more sense to me. So those are the alpha traits I really ran with for George.

Originally these were going to be one chapter, but I write a lot, so two chapters it is.

Finally the random alpha character was not my smoothest inclusion. But I wanted to have a diverse portrayal of all the genders, and up until that point alphas in society were being painted in a pretty bad light in general, so I wanted to show that George isn't “the token good alpha” if that makes sense.

Chapter 5 and 6:

The conversation where Dream explains what happened was actually one of the first things I wrote. I sometimes will write key conversations well before getting to them chronologically. That was the case with the Dream scene.

Both of these chapters were the hardest to write overall. Firstly because they are transitional in a lot of respects: the end of the stay at the motel, the start of Dream being an active participant in the story, and a lot more characters got added. A lot of friendship had to develop in these chapters.

Writing omega Dream was significantly easier than alpha George. I thought it would be more difficult, but when I actually started writing, the character came together quite nicely for me.

Fluff and humor are where I struggle the most as a writer. Every time I sit down to write knowing that a story calls for including fluff I write slower. I am trying to improve, but fluff doesn't come naturally to me. So writing a bunch of cute scenes in a row was fucking hard. Feedback was good, and I was so excited that the work paid off for some readers.

Niki and Alex were important characters to add for me, because they flesh out both George and Dream's lives. Like they had friends and stuff before meeting. I thought it was fun to mess around with different people meeting in different ways, but still finding each other in the end.

Chapter 7:

Oh what to say about Jared?

Something else I wanted to tackle in this fic is the way betas can have their own biases toward the other genders. I wanted them to be active participants in the omegaverse of it all, rather than being like the NPC gender.

Jared and Karl really serve as contrasting characters(which is where a little confusion on Sapnap's part comes in). Jared has a lot of ugly biases and expectations when it comes to omegas, while Karl has taken the time to understand his partner.

I think if anyone has known someone like Jared, they understand the way things panned out immediately. People don't start fighting, they let that painful tension drag out under the veil of politeness. I knew full well that may not be the most popular narrative choice. But I had a very specific vision for this interaction.

The conversation between Dream and Jared was another scene that I wrote way ahead of a lot of other stuff. That section I probably read and tweaked the most to get it right. It's another one of my favorite scenes, and definitely one I'm the most proud of.

I already wrote a post detailing how and why I went about the fallout with Jared's character, so you can find that here.

And Jared living in Everett is really only a dig people from WA would get. Everett is kind of memed as being the city that produces a lot of assholes. The city itself doesn't have the best rep, so it felt fitting for the character, and is a subtle dig. I made a lot of locational references in this fic, but when I was figuring out where Jared lived I was like “yeah, he feels like he's from Everett.”

Oh boy the steamy scenes. Yes if you've read my author's note on that chapter I wrote a full E rated version of events. I actually do this in a lot in my writing, write the smut all the way through to explore the dynamic between the characters. I almost never include it, as it doesn't usually fit with the rest of a work I'm writing.

With this specific fic I was very torn. I went back and forth about if the scene was good, if I wanted to actually go through with changing the rating on the fic. So I asked my beta reader, and she said she liked the scene, but that it felt excessive and might be a little out of place with the rest of the piece. When she put it like that I agreed. As I said, I am nervous about taking the step to include smut under my name(it is something I very much want to do), but I want to write smut that was intended to be there from the start, and is designed to play important roles in the plot/character development/relationships. This scene didn't do that, so ultimately it was cut.

Chapter 8:

This chapter contains my favorite part of the entire fic.

The phone conversation with Dream and Sapnap is my favorite. I loved writing it, I have re-read it the most. It just makes me happy, I don't know why. I just love those little character interactions between the main three there.

George's thought process was really important to me. It calls back to the stuff he was struggling with in the first few chapters. And also reveals a few of his own insecurities as well as underlying biases/assumptions. No character is perfect, and it's easy to make bad assumptions about the other gender, even with good intentions.

If this was going to be a 100k fic I would have drawn that line of angsty thinking out for like 30k more words. But that was not the case here, so they talk it out, and I had a blast writing their conversation.

Chapter 9:

Picture me trying to convince my beta reader how beautiful and tragic it would be if they drove back over the pass to take things to the next level, and got into a fatal car accident. Like the mirroring, the symbology, the ill fated decision to go back.

I was told that this was a romance and that romances have “happy endings”. I write dark fantasy outside of DNF, so sometimes my instincts are not exactly great. I write DNF because I love the ship, unfortunately the type of stuff I typically read and write is far outside of “romances with happy endings”. I will begrudgingly agree it was the right call. Sylith is the one who reins me in on my bullshit. And that's why she's the best beta reader!

Thank Sylith that this got a happy ending.

Additionally, I may be evil, but not so evil that I'd add MCD tag on the last chapter without warning. I do have a heart. But I won't pretend that I wasn't a little tempted.

I didn't change or add much to this story based on feedback in the comments. I stuck with my original vision for the most part, and was more focused on pleasing my beta reader. I added a few lines and references here and there based on some stuff I saw in the comments, but nothing major.

However, originally this chapter was only going to be the flash forward. But several people really wanted to see that Minecraft stream I'd said was happening, and I realized that I kind of set that expectation up plot-wise. To not include anything about it would be kind of weird. So I wrote the stream section and I think it came out pretty good. I did have fun adding Alex to the mix.

The flash forward is pretty simple. Gives a look at what their relationship has become, and what is in the future for these two. Of course we have the mirroring of the beginning. This started with a drive over Snoqualmie pass, so it will end with one.

Shakespeare

Obviously The Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare played a pretty important role for me in formulating this story. You might be wondering “What made you cross over Twelfth night with this DNF fic?” and to be honest. I have no idea. I've been on a binge re-read of the great playwright and something in my brain just clicked. The line “Love sought is good, but given unsought is better,” in Act III Scene I, is one of my favorite Shakespeare quotes about love. And it really fit with this story about a bunch of mistakes leading to people who might never have met finding each other.

This has also been a theme for me when writing DNF in general. I am a classical literature nerd(shocker), and for some reason the classic tragedies and romances really help me conceptualize writing DNF. The Hounds of Love pulled heavily from Ovid's Metamorphosis, and February 15th was themed around Jane Eyre and Rebecca(Really more Jane Eyre though). So I've just decided to lean into it at this point.

Any other Shakespeare fans who find this fic are either going to be losing their minds over certain narrative choices, or are going to be horrified by what I've done here.

Including quotes at the beginning was just fun for me. I liked pulling quotes that helped guide some emotional plot beats. Fanfic is fun because you get to be a little extra with a project.

Misc. and Final Thoughts

All of the locations mentioned in this fic are real places, and described pretty accurately. You could recreate this fic if you wanted(I DO NOT recommend that though). I won't list them all out because I'm not sure anyone will care.

I won't spoil all of the references I made in this fic. But if you're reading it and pause and think “Hey, are they making a reference on purpose to X piece of media?” the answer is probably yes.

Did I just write a DNF omegaverse fic incorporating quotes and themes from Shakespeare? Yup. Never would have guessed I'd be writing that sentence, but I couldn't be happier.

#lucithornz #lucithornz directors commentary #unsought is better