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manonblaqkbeak · 3 years

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Among the Stacks

Back for Day 4-Librarians/Libraries, which I was super thrilled to see on the list, since I’m a certified library assistant and librarian technician and a big advocate for libraries in general and how important they are to society for a number of reasons!!!

This is just some wholesome fluff, most of these fics are (bc thats all i write lol) but i am preparing for a lil angst on the 10th ;)

Hope you all enjoy! :)

cw: none

1.5k words

There were many reasons why Aelin loved being a librarian technician and working at Orynth Public Library (of course there were reasons she very much disliked it, but the positives outweighed the negatives). The ever present scent of books was one, and the fact that she saved a ridiculous amount of money from borrowing books instead of buying them, as purchasing them became close to an addiction. The regular patrons that visited. Helping people with creating resumes and look for jobs because they couldn't afford laptops or computers at home, and looking for jobs on phones was annoying.

The overflowing suggestion box filled with ideas for books and ways to make the library more homely. Her comfortable office chair and her favourite cafe owned by a high school friend right around the corner, and the fact that Nesryn gave her discounts because she had set her up with her now-fiance Sartaq.

The laughter of babies and young children when it was story-time and the drawings that they created. The people that came to the library just to be somewhere else without feeling the pressure of having to spend money. The people that came sorely for the free WiFi and power-boards to charge their phones.

Working with her childhood friend and pseudo-sister Elide. And one very handsome and kind construction worker, Rowan Whitethorn.

Elide said that Aelin was in love with Rowan, with how she gushed over how pretty and intelligent he was, but Aelin denied that. It would be absurd to be in love with him. She just really liked him.

The only problem was she hadn't had the chance to ask him out on a date. She only saw him when he came in the library, and it was inappropriate to ask someone out while at work. There was also the fact that while he came here weekly, she wasn't sure if he was single, because surely someone that handsome had to be with someone.

But he hadn't mentioned any partners and Aelin didn't spot a ring, either on his finger or on a chain around his neck, but it still made Aelin hesitate.

Elide had told Aelin many times that when Rowan was here, he made 'heart eyes' when Aelin's back was turned. Aelin scoffed at the notion, but her heart flipped at that—Elide was freakishly observant and knew how to read people to a minuscule level.

Aelin was in the middle of covering the latest hardbacks, her mind completely focused on the task, when Elide said, typing away, “It's eleven A.M.”

Aelin looked at the large clock behind her and nodded. “That it is.”

A small smile was on Elide's lips, her dark eyes bright. “Just thought I'd let you know. Since a certain someone usually comes in around eleven-fifteen on Saturdays if he hasn't been here during the week.”

Elide could sometimes be as subtle as a brick to the head. Aelin finished the last book and cleaned her hands off with the hand sanitiser. She could feel her friends dark stare at the back of her head.

“I'm aware, thank you,” was all Aelin said.

If Aelin didn't ask Rowan out soon, Elide was going to do it for her—no matter how often Aelin repeated about the inappropriate aspect of it all.

Elide thought that was bullshit.

Telling her friend that she was going to put these books on the 'New Releases' shelf, Aelin once again focused on her task, straightening up other books as she went.

She had just finished up when a deep voice said behind her, “Good morning, Aelin.”

Smiling, she turned. “Good morning, Rowan.” She spotted his current read in his large hands. “How's the book going?”

He returned her smile. “Great. I was wondering if you had the sequel?”

“We should do, just follow me.” They had their usual conversations about their week, with Rowan telling her how a fellow worker had injured himself and how it had turned the whole production upside down. Apparently, his site manager was sweating buckets the entire time, fretting about paperwork more than anything else.

Aelin didn't envy his work at all. While there were chances for Aelin or others to hurt themselves in the library, the worst that had happened to Aelin in all her years here was a bruised foot after dropping a dictionary and the rare scolding she had received from her boss, Glennis, for not wearing the proper footwear. Her bruised foot was nothing compared to the torture of having to watch an hour long video about work health and safety the following morning.

As Aelin found the sequel, they stayed hidden among the stacks, talking about everything and nothing, with Aelin temporarily forgetting that she was at work and had other duties to attend to.

Because it was hard to remember what those duties were when she got lost in his dark green eyes. Especially when they trailed down the tattoo that started at his temple and down his neck, to his fingertips.

Aelin had never really been a fan about facial tattoos, but she really liked his. It suited him.

However, she was abruptly reminded of her job when she heard a young voice call out her name. It was one of her regular patrons, Evangeline, who was always here after school and on Saturdays tackling her homework and assignments. Her foster parents were negligent and didn't think that she needed a laptop to do her school work, since they didn't back in the “old days”, completely unaware that it was the digital age and laptops and computers were vital to get the work done.

Aelin excused herself, finding Evangeline flustered at her favourite spot, the desktop frozen and unaware of what to do. It was hard not to crush the girl into a hug when Aelin saw tears in her eyes, scared that she was going to get into trouble.

“Don't worry,” Aelin told the girl kindly, “it'll be okay. Sometimes computers get grumpy and have temper tantrums but I just know the right way to fix it.”

Unaware that Rowan left the stacks, she missed his soft smile as he watched her work her magic, instructing Evangeline step by step what to do if it happened again.

He made his way to the front desk, where Elide was still furiously typing away, muttering underneath her breath about cataloging.

Deciding that it would best to leave her to it and use the self-serve machine, Elide cleared her throat, catching his attention, and said, “Aelin's single.”

Elide was sick of watching them dance around each other. She understood Aelin's hesitancy, she did, but if she had to watch them flutter their eyes at each other one more time, she was going to lose it.

And Elide was aware that Rowan was aware of why Aelin hadn't asked him out, and that he didn't want to appear inappropriate and ask Aelin out while she was at work. Elide respected for it, truthfully.

So Elide had decided to do it herself, inappropriateness be damned.

Rowan blinked, and blinked again, clearly unsure what to say or do. He came back over to her desk, tattooed hand striking against the plain book cover.

But he recollected himself, and asked, “Does she suffer from hay-fever?”

“No. And once she's done helping Evangeline over there, she'll be going to her favourite cafe for her late morning caffeine fix.”

Rowan nodded, his mind already on what flowers he would buy for her. She had a small Kingsflame tattoo on her wrist and told him it was her favourite flower when he asked her about it weeks ago. “Thank you, Elide.”

Elide simply smiled and reached for his book as Aelin came around, talking to the both of them, when Rowan asked if they knew of any good cafes.

It was good that he was finally taking that step, but Elide had to stop herself from laughing at how completely unsubtle the question was. Elide was already prepared for when Aelin would ask her later what happened between them.

But Aelin smiled and told him of her favourite place and they left together.

X X X X X X

Aelin ordered her usual, a caramel macchiato with two shots, and Rowan ordered a flat white with soy milk (he suffered from lactose intolerance, which Aelin would hate if that was her, because she had once tried lactose free chocolate and it was dreadful).

Rowan pulled out her chair when they sat out front, taking a seat across from her. Her heart flipped at the sweet gesture.

“I was wondering,” he started off with, his eyes staring unflinchingly into hers, “if you'd like to go out on a date sometime?”

Aelin didn't even think twice before accepting and they planned it out right there, exchanging numbers at the end of it. He walked her back to the library, a small smile on both their lips.

From the smile that Elide gave her when she returned, Aelin knew she was involved—and not at all surprised—and at that moment, Aelin was very happy to have a friend like Elide.

And for her date that very night with Rowan.

#rowaelin #rowaelinmonth #my work

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not-close-to-straight · 3 years

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Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy.

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf.

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU.

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF

Episode 2:

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now.

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP!

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor”

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout?

Episode 3:

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that.

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross”

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG

A STORK

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this.

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit.

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal.

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused.

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing??

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION.

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting.

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this.

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching.

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel?

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER.

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit.

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious.

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG.

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it.

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

#WandaVision

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poedameronloverx · 3 years

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Who’s Looking After You?

Life in Lockdown - Masterlist

Poe Dameron x F Solo Reader

Hey everyone! Hope you’ve all had a lovely week. Here is the next part of my series.

Big mentions of covid again this week so if that’s going to upset you then I full understand if you want to give this a miss. Also mentions of anxiety.

But we also have more of reader bonding with BeeBee and a nice wee heart to heart between her and Poe. And then there’s Finn asking the questions we all want the answer to!

Month 3 – May 2020

Rose's illness came and went without too much drama. Her symptoms suggested COVID but she hadn't been as ill with it as a lot of other people had. Poe had a few symptoms too, they started off pretty mild. He decided to stay in the house just incase so you had taken over BeeBee's walks. The little dog was confused at first, wondering why his best friend wasn't walking him but he soon got used to it and was happy to be out with you. You and Rose were taking turns to look after Poe. Finn was still keeping out of the way due to his work, so the two of you were working around one another and your work schedules to check on how Poe was feeling. After a few days he started to feel worse, his throat was sore and he had no energy. You made him soup and checked in to make sure he was looking after himself.

“Sweetheart, you're going to get sick” he protested as you moved his pillows around to help him get comfortable.

“I'm not worried about me, I'm worried about you!” you replied “And I'm going to continue to worry about you and take care of you until you're back to your normal self!”

You fussed around him some more, making sure he had everything he needed before you had to head back to your desk for a zoom meeting.

“So, when are we going to talk about it?” Finn asked, a few nights later as you sat down to dinner with him and Rose.

“Talk about what?” you asked

“This sexual tension between you and Poe”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on! You can't pretend, it's so obvious that you like him and it's obvious that he likes you so once he's better you should do something about it!”

“Wait, did he say something?” Rose asked “Because you didn't tell me he liked her back!”

“Hold on!” you butted in “You told Finn?”

“I'm sorry! I know I should've kept my mouth shut but it's Finn and he promised me he wouldn't tell Poe!”

“And I didn't!” Finn replied “But I just think you two deserve to be happy and being together would obviously make both of you happy!”

“You guys need to stop getting involved. Poe doesn't like me in that way and that's totally fine. He's my friend and I don't want to lose that if you guys make this awkward so please stop!”

“We won't make it awkward” Rose replied “We won't say another thing”

You couldn't sleep that night, everything Finn had said was going round on loop in your head. BeeBee slept soundly at the foot of the bed, he'd taken to sleeping in your room most nights. You climbed out of bed and looked out the window. The rain was falling onto the peaceful street. It had been raining for a few hours and puddles had already formed everywhere. You decided to head downstairs to get a glass of water, the lack of sleep was beginning to annoy you. When you walked into the living room, you were startled to see a figure sat on the couch.

“Poe? What are you doing up?”

“Couldn't sleep” he replied “I'm feeling a lot better so I figured there was no harm in having a little wander round the house since everyone was in bed!”

“As long as you’re alright” you replied

“I am, wanna sit with me for a while? You’ve been taking care of me so you’ve probably passed any risk of catching this”

“Yeah, may as well since I’m wide awake”

You could feel him staring at you, he hadn't put the lights on in the living room. Only the small lamp in the dining room was giving any light.

“Tell me honestly, are you doing okay? You had all the stress with your dad being ill, then you looked after Rose and now you’re looking after me. Who’s looking after you sweetheart”

“Honestly Poe, I’m fine. Keeping busy keeps my mind off of not being able to see my family. I like looking after you guys. I enjoy walking Bee, I like making the soups you’ve taught me and when I’m not working I like cooking dinner for us all”

“You’re too good to us. Even just letting Finn and I move in and completely throw your life into even more chaos by taking over your home”

You glanced at him and smiled.

“I like having you here” you replied “It’s good to have a group to hang out with. Rose and I would bicker about stupid stuff when we just spent weekends together. We would’ve been a nightmare alone for all these weeks. I like being able to spend time with her but then have the option to walk away from her and hang out with you. I’m not going to lie and say these past few weeks have been easy and amazing because they haven’t, they’ve sucked. Not knowing if my dad was going to be alright or not whilst not being able to see my mum was torture. Then Rose getting ill and now you, I feel like I’ve constantly been worried and my anxiety has been terrible but I really am alright”

“Can we make a deal then?” Poe asked

“What kind of deal?”

“Well I’m worried about you and how much you’ve taken on, so how about once a week you have an evening to yourself? Run a bath, or just have a lie down. Whatever you want. It would just make me feel better to know that you were taking a break!”

“Alright, deal” you replied “Now tell me what else is on that mind of yours?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well Poe Dameron, I can basically see the cogs turning under that beautiful hair of yours. So tell me what's on your mind”

He sighed “My work is struggling. The pandemic has hit us hard and they don't know if we'll be able to keep going. I might lose my job”

“Oh Poe, I'm so sorry. Is that why they stopped you guys working from home?”

“Yeah, there wasn't enough work for us so they told us not to bother. We're still going to get paid for now but I really don't know how long that's going to last for”

“I'm sure something else will come up” you replied “And if not, you know we're all here for you. You'll never find yourself out on the street”

“Thank you sweetheart, that really means the world to me!”

A few days later, you were getting ready to take BeeBee his walk. You’d been working that morning, once you’d finished you had time to make a pot of soup for lunch, re-organise the living room and dust every surface in the room. BeeBee was very set in his ways and always knew when it was walk time. He wouldn’t let anyone forget it either, his usual tactic was slowly wandering over to where you were and nudging your ankle with his nose. You were just putting your coat on when Poe walked into the room.

“I’m feeling much better and I’m going stir crazy in this house. Fancy some company?”

“I dunno, what do you think BeeBee, should we let your dad tag along? He might cramp our style!”

The Corgi wagged his tail with excitement when he saw his best friend was ready to take him out for the first time in over a week. BeeBee had always enjoyed the attention you gave him whenever you went to see Poe and Finn, or if they’d brought him over, but living together had meant you and the little dog had bonded a lot more, especially when you had to walk him. He was spending a lot of time with you rather than Poe.

“I think he’s alright with it” you chuckled

“I think he’s replacing me” Poe pouted “You’re now his favourite person in the world”

“I mean, can you blame him? I’m awesome!”

“That’s true! But don’t let your head get too big or you won’t fit out the front door!”

Rose wandered into the room, she smiled when she saw Poe putting his coat on.

“You’re feeling better! That’s great”

“Much better. And I absolutely cannot wait to go outside”

“Enjoy the fresh air! But remember if it’s too much, you need to rest”

“I will Rose, thanks. I’m sure Y/N will take care of me and make sure I’m not over doing it”

“Damn right I will”

The walk was nice, you took it at a slow pace so Poe wouldn’t get tired too quickly. BeeBee seemed to have an extra spring in his step now that his dad was back walking him. You did a lap round the park before Poe said he was tired. You found a bench and let him sit down whilst you threw a ball for BeeBee. When the dog got bored of the game you sat down next to Poe.

“You doing okay?”

“I’m fine sweetheart, thanks”

“Do you fancy a coffee or anything?”

“Nah, just your company is enough for me”

You ducked your head, hoping he wouldn’t see your embarassment. You smiled as BeeBee ran around chasing after a bird that just wanted to sit on the grass. May had been an extremely difficult month with Rose and Poe both being ill, Poe’s job being at risk and not being able to go and help your mum look after your dad. 6 weeks of being in lockdown had been hard, your anxiety was flaring worse than ever and some days felt more of a struggle than others. You were glad to be with your friends and BeeBee. Facetime had been a lifeline to keep in touch with your parents, your brother and sister in law and your two nephews. You just hoped it wouldn’t be too long until you could see them in person.

So thats us for this week. I hope if you read it you enjoy it and as always your comments and suggestions would mean the world to me. I’m kinda lagging behind with where I wanted to be with this series in terms of how many chapters ahead I had written so if you guys have any suggestions of things you’d like me to write in this then please do let me know <3

#poe dameron x reader #Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader #Poe Dameron x F!Reader #tw: covid19 #tw: covid #tw: anxiety

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alotsgonnachange · 3 years

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Mystic Messenger Saeran’s AE Thoughts (.......And Prayers..) #Spoilerz

Hello, I just finished Saeran’s after ending and I have a lot of things to say and I am going to write it down while I'm still all keyed up about it.

First of all… Please DO NOT ask me how much money I spent to finish this as fast as I did…. I’m grown but my bank account is certainly going to have a good ole fashioned CHUCKLE at this….. It’s been a long quarantine I deserve a lil happiness as a treat methinks!

I have been playing this absolutely insane game since I think 2016? When I first started playing the deep routes had JUST come out I think? And I was just finishing up high school and am now a college grad...lmao

I’ve played all routes at least once except Jaehee but i’ve seen walkthroughs of her route (I’ve heard it makes you hate Jumin and he’s my favorite so um. hehe). V’s and Saeran’s routes I found to be so emotionally intense and just….a lot and I've been waiting a long ass god damn time for this after ending okay…. I would theorize and make up an ending in my head but i’m no writer so it was hard to figure out lol. I’m a Jumin stan mostly but I love everybody and yeah I should probably play that jumin dlc too but I need like a DAY to recover from Saeran’s AE. Enough about me HERE are my thoughts on it overall

Major Saeran AE Spoilers under da cut!

Can we please discuss V showing up to the C+R conference room with basically chloroform and made everybody Pass Out like??? I was alone in my room at like midnight just SCREAMING at my phone???? And the creepy ass CG ???? It’s like that gif of sarah paulson from ahs being like “I put arsenic in the wine….and the pasta”

Anyway I screamed at V a lot during this process!!

Loved RFA being sweet and kind to saeran (before V fucking drugged them…)

This is such common V behavior “I have to do it all myself...there’s no other way..” GIRL SHUT UPPP You do this every route....

SO many CG’s and I enjoy them a lot

Saeran’s sprite looks a little TOO crisp compared to everyone else but maybe its a glitch??? V next to him is in 480p while saeran is like 1080p

Hearing both Saeran and Saeyoung missing the other brother the whole time??? PAIN. All my homies know is PAIN

BOSS and his V for Vendetta ass guy fawkes mask??? I literally yelled “this game is TERRIBLE!!” several times at my phone

Their dad is so>??????? When he was sitting on the couch with saeyoung in that one CG while simultaneously telling him to kill himself?????????? Maybe chairman han is actually the best dad in this game somehow

When V and Rika were like we’re back together teehee teehee okay pack it up bonnie and clyde ..

When chairman han calls u and says hes jealous of u and saeran…..HUH????? I’m calling HR

When they go to the apartment and see boss and vanderwood and poor saeyoung is sitting there seeing his brother for the first time in years i wanted to D word sooooo bad like PAIN...PAIN….

Can we HAVE A DISCUSSION ABOUT JUMIN HAN BEING THE BEST CHARACTER IN THE GAME AND HE LOST EVERYTHING IN THIS AE……. he just took the blame and moved on jumin what the hell….. I love him so much r we serious? He watched his 2 closest friends betray him in the worst way and found out abt how Rika abused Saeyoung and Saeran???? I felt just AWFUL. Terrible ...Terrible….

Rika’s change in demeanor from Saeran's actual route is certainly a Choice. I find her much more bearable this time around and unfortunately i think I was too nice to her and ended up with a bad end LMFAO

I was happy to see Saeran stand up for himself and become stronger and confident. You go king!

The CG of Yoosung laying in Zen’s lap is everything to me…

HOWEVER YUP I sure did get a bad ending and I was so mad fdsafdskfdhsf ! (I would be happy to clarify how I got the good one the second time.) MAKE SURE To SAVE EARLY in days 2 and 3 bc the branches on day 4 is where the bad end will show up. For me it was the first day 4 chat and then a story mode titled “SAVIOR”.... If you see that RUN FOR THE HILLS!!

I was so mad! But I had saved in day 2 and replayed and MANAGED to get good end

I’m obsessed with everyone calling V and Rika “that psychotic couple” like…..its true its true…

No those two are so toxic… V’s route was torture watching them go on and on about the sun like yo can yall just call each other babe like normal people.

I respect straight people but not V and RIka that shit was just wrong… Straight marriage was a mistake

Oh lord i also FULLY Forgot Rika killed the twins’ mother…. Yeah that scene was um Certainly a lot but it needed to happen eventually

Like it’s good they know but damn that storyline is just so bleak

I think it was satisfying TO A DEGREE….To see Rika understand where she was wrong, why she was wrong, fess up and even APOLOGIZE! I was very surprised.

Saeran and Saeyoung are Certainly twins with the amount that those two self sacrifice in every route MY GOD…..

The scene with Jumin talking to his father and the other scene of him praying oh my god I cannot tell you how happy I was to see him begin to understand and address his own feelings in a route that was not his own. My main problem with Jumin’s route has always been the trapping MC in his penthouse aspect.. This way Jumin understands love and emotions without being overly possessive !!! YAY also loved seeing him be on good terms with his dad who was surprisingly profound

That last Story mode was Really a Lot…. and Strange things occurred which I will get into in just a minute

Jumin becoming a politician is so funny but ngl … i see it.

Yoosung going to france to study pastries ok king I see u! (it made more sense to me than the vet thing anyway)

Lastly Zen FURRY ERA

MY BEEF With the AE

I was happy with how they handled it for the most part. I think Cheritz heard our feedback about V’s after ending and was like okay….let’s try something different

HOWEVER

Saeran…. Sweet kind saeran… IS SO AFFECTIONATE HAHA….

He must have said I love you like 300 times…..very mushy gushy flowery language...and maybe that’s just his personality but for me it was like eating cake with buttercream cake. It means well, but god damn is it sugary and going to cause a stomach ache later.

He was just… SO MUCH! SO forward and ON all the time in his affections. I honestly felt kind of smothered and by day 3 and 4 I was sooooo over all the compliments… King you’ve come a very long way, but ur still putting MC on a pedestal and probably need to see a therapist.

Nextly….Rika and V….. Naw that knock out gas really ...that hurt lol. Coming from “I would do anything to protect RFA” V? Idk like…. EYE felt betrayed reading that. It was just hurtful. I can’t even imagine how the members would have felt as they were passing out. It was just so cruel. I suppose I understand why but like?? Just TERRIBLE

Them being in cahoots with the agency and the prime minister..HUH??? Also too much

V just felt so irresponsible like I do understand that he ended up in a weird web of secrets that’s hard to untangle but he’s so fucking stubborn he’s SO stubborn it makes me insane. Like sir… It seems like in other routes he wanted to try to protect Rika and the RFA.. But in this AE it seems more to me that he was like yeah i’m protecting Rika and That’s It… so fucking hurtful to me. Both of y’all apologize ESPECIALLY to the twins and Jumin..

The forgiveness thing…… Okay so I think some people will not like that Saeran decided to “forgive” the people who hurt him (Rika, V, Saejoong, his mother). I would point out that I actually think this was approached somewhat well. He says at one point that he doesn’t think they’re good or bad, just people. I think he sounded mature and like this was the way for him personally to accomplish his healing process. Would I have loved for Saeran to flip V and Rika off and kick Saejoong off a cliff? Yea I really would. But like…. If that’s what HE needs to do to heal then who am I to judge?

HOWEVER…. Everything Eye just said goes out the window when the scenes at the end with Saejoong come up… I was PERPLEXED. Like why did he HUG his deranged father who just kicked the shit out of him??? Also all the chat options that MC has with him r like blah blah you’re like this because no one loves you were so corny to me LMFAOOOO?

AND WHEN HE WAS IN THE ROOM LATER WITH SAERAN… i’m sorry but if that were me I would have called a nurse to deck his ass. Cool he turned himself in YOU SUCK SOOOO BAD AND I NEVER WANT YOU TO COME NEAR SAEYOUNG AND SAERAN AGAIN THANKS.

*scratches ass* I wish I got to see saeyoung and saeran finally sit down and have that first conversation after a long time and hug CG but the ending was fine I GUESS….. I dont care about ROMANCE I want those boys to be happy brothers together

Anyway that was really emotionally exhausting but I fr think I got it out of my system after literal years… And I can rest in peace knowing the choi twins are happy. THATS ALL I WANTED TO KNOW!!!!

#Saeran Choi #Saeran AE #Saeran after ending #Saeran AE spoilers #Mystic messenger #Mysme #Saeran after ending spoilers #mystic messenger spoilers

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

Text

Discord pt 103

[Date: 25/03, 12:17 AM GMT - 25/03, 3:41 AM GMT]

[CW for drug mention, descriptions of violence, torture mention, suffocation mention]

[Page appears in chat and begins a game of “Smile Charades” by telling the server to draw their attention to their Spotify playlist called “The Court?”, which consists of the following songs: “Break My Mind” by Dagames, “I’m the Bad Guy” by Caleb Hyles, “Echo” by Crusher-P, “Break the Rules” by Charlie XCX, “Discord” by The Living Tombstone, “The Fine Print” by The Stupendium, “I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters, “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Set it Off, “Entropy” by Awkward Marina, “Happy Pills” by Weathers, “The Pitiful Children” by Eric William Morris, and “Monster” by KIRA. The server then proceeds to guess what Page could be trying to imply by this choice of songs. The following conversation ensures:]

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, happy pills is such a good song! kinda makes me sad in a way tho, ykno? its so upbeat but its basically about taking drugs so youre not truly yourself, ykno?”

Page 👑: “....

:)”

Jack the Observer 👁: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “huh, kinda makes me wonder if those plants are the result of drugs? or maybe theyre not, i might be looking at this the wrong way,”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “ah, either way its fine! just me wondering out loud, ykno? :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a unique and interesting message! thank you for the playlist, page, its really eye opening and neat to listen to :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a fun song about partying and breaking the rules! ,i sure hope, none of ,the court does that!, :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ooo i cant decide is a good one, a classic, especially for those in uh. *looks at writing smudged on wrist* ...the my little pony fandom...”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “its so cool! love how the singer has conflicting feelings about their attachment to the one theyre torturing, how they ultimately have to decide whether they want to be good and spare their life, or if they want to continue with the torture”

Page 👑: “:)”

[After a few minutes, the server wonders why Page is being so quiet and only responding in “:)”]

jayyyyyyyy: “nono, its okay, its like a yes or no thing

quiet for no, a smile for yes

is that right, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, so still gotta find what youre picking up from this

are you not a big fan of concerts either?”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, you like em?”

Page 👑: “:)

....”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, you do like concerts! something else too tho”

[After a few minutes of conversation among the server members asking Page whether he liked concerts, or if being with the Court was like being in a concert, or if he wanted to continue the conversation in the direction of the topic of concerts, or if he wanted to talk about other topics, all of which were met with a resounding silence from Page-]

[jayyyyyyyy: “music?”]

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “music! alright

want to narrow the topic some more, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so im assuming this is about your playlist?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “do you want us to focus on... lyrics?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so like the tone?”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i think we already get the vibe, ykno”

donti (e) (child): “or the feel of all the songs together?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

donti (e) (child): “is there a common thread were supposed to be seeing?

Page 👑: “:)

[After some deliberation, it turned out that the common thread wasn’t about the laurels or drugs, but was about specific songs.]

jayyyyyyyy: “alright! so youre focusing on uhhh

break my mind

im the bad guy

echo

discord 50/50

wolf in sheeps clothing

entropy 50/50

happy pills 50/50

and monster”

Page 👑: “:)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “does "im the bad guy" apply to crown here?”]

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

is crown one of the common demoninators here?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

uhhh

im the bad guy is about.. fuck, i half remember half dont

if i remember correctly, the villain is explaining that whatever evils theyve faced before, shes much more powerful than them, and doesnt need their assistance because shes fine on her own

but

im guessing page is more focusing on. Uh”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh! okay

okay, i got it

hm.. echo is about.. well, its kinda hard to say

let me look at the lyrics again

actually, this song is a perfect way to sum up the courts situation

"the echo in the mirror"

like.. youre fighting yourself? youre trapped in yourself, fighting yourself to be free”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright

so uhh

so far we have uhh

being stuck and fighting yourself is something im seeing rn

and the other one.. i think its better if i dont say it

am i right on the fighting yourself theme tho?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “someone that's not crown??

"someone else"”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “OKAY

didnt expect that

so who

not crown

themselves?”

Page 👑: “:).....”

Ethza: “hm

eachother?”

donti (e) (child): “are,,, are the people who wear the crowns... pulling at the strings of their body??”

Page 👑: “....”

Ethza: “Hm”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay so

im assuming its crown and the court?”

Ethza: “but its not crown

its someone else”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “hmm”

Ethza: “that was my first guess

someone else”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay! okay

and probably obvious but youre being controlled by your court version?”

Ethza: “but something else is controlling you”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “is it your court self?

the laurels?

something else?

feel free to respond to those separately”

jayyyyyyyy: “what, pray tell, the fuck are the laurels”

Page 👑: “:)”

[Ethza: “the laurels?”]

Page 👑: “....”

[Ethza: “something else?”]

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright

hmmmm okay so

court selves are controlling the og selves, and crown is manipulating the court”

Ethza: “the court selves....aren't what they seem?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “i was really hoping that wouldn't be right”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i dont think the court selves are evil”

Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”

jayyyyyyyy: “theyre being manipulated, ykno? and theyre.. kinda stuck in an unwinable situation

well yea but like

either they let their alternate selves be free and they literally suffocate, or they let themselves be free and their alternate selves suffocate

and a while, youd want fresh air, no matter how good of a person you are”

[Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”]

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright so theyre not good

obv im still suspicious that a lot of it is bc of circumstances but still evil”

Ethza: “...hey page”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “are they something we know?”

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “i really cant think of anything else tho

dreamons maybe?”

Page 👑: “:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “uhhh

OH SHIT”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “OH FUCK

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ITS DREAMONS”

Page 👑: “:)

:)”

donti (e) (child): “is that a smile or a yes ??”

Page 👑: “:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ITS A YES

OH MY GOD ITS DREAMONS OH FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “UH!!”

jayyyyyyyy: “OKAY

FUCK

okay

ok im. calming down”

Knight 👑: “Fetch likes this song :)”

[DAYWALKER! by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Corpse]

Knight 👑: “It should be obvious as to why :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “WAIT NO BUT I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS

okay page!!

is that "thing" thats more powerful than crown the dreamons?”

Knight 👑: “Page is not in service at this time. Please check the number or try your call again. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh fuck off

GOD

you mother FUCKERS

donti (e) (child): “AH IS PAGE OK”

Knight 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “uhhhhhh buddy you ok”

Knight (he/they): “I see somebody talking with a mouth thats full of teeth i want to break :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “thats dumb as FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “well thats probably me time to scram :D”

jayyyyyyyy: “page did not say a single thing this entire time”

Knight ��: “Then i'm not talking about him. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “..neither did max”

Knight 👑: “I'm on borrowed time can't shake it :) blackout when i'm ragin'. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “yea

again with that fuckin corpse song

hold on

huh

okay so im assuming this is just. 100% knight rn

bc you definitely did something to page

and the song daywalker is ab letting someone in on a secret and blaming them when the secret gets out

actually this song. lines up with uh

that scene”

Knight 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “the. ykno, the murder

unless im wrong but

seems. violent”

Knight 👑: “I prayed to god and went to sleep with bloody hands :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “damn! okay

uhhh fuck

okay knight can you like. post all the lyrics youre focusing on rn?? tryna get across???”

Knight 👑: “Punch that motherfucker in the face

you hated what he said, right?

beat his ass, leave him at the stoplight

i know you wanted change, but nobody's around

so, kick him again while he's on the ground”

jayyyyyyyy: “thank you!”

Big G (they/them): “Uhh”

jayyyyyyyy: “....oh god i just said thank you im going SOFT

"i know you wanted change but nobodys around" is really catching my eye

"you hated what he said right" hmm”

Knight 👑: “If a pussy wanna say shit, then i'll fuckin' stomp his face in

nah, not getting better, can't change it, i left blood all on the pavement

i'm on borrowed time, can't shake it, blackout when i'm ragin',

me and all these pills be on a fuckin' first name basis,”

jayyyyyyyy: “im kinda throwing a shot here, but is the "you hated what he said right" part about the dreamons hating what i said?”

Knight 👑: “I never said it was about page :) in fact, i told you i wasn't talking about him :)”

#on:discord #by:page #by:knight #if the crown fits

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weirdponytail · 4 years

Text

MIC!Arya and the Infamous Tarnag Temple Argument in IC Canon (AKA Modern Inheritance’s Take on Trauma, Religion, and Arya F***ing Apologizing)

Everyone gives Canon!Arya shit for the scene in the books where she gives Gannel shit in his own temple for having religion. I agree that it’s a bad moment for her character. I also feel it comes out of left field for Arya’s character up to that point but I’ll get smacked from here to the core mantle boundary for that by some of the fandom. I digress. This is very much not about my feelings on the canon version.

Let’s move on to how it might go for my Modern Inheritance!Arya and my version of events.

A lot of what I write about in MIC is trauma related. Arya’s one of the easiest characters for me to write for in that regard for obvious reasons, and because I’ve shaped my mental picture of her over the years so she’s the one I have the most practice with. Please note that usually when I go to bat for Arya I tend to get my MIC version of her muddled in with canon, so I apologize for any sharp words, brow beating, etc. Anyway...what was I talking about? OH RIGHT, TRAUMA AND THAT WHOLE TARNAG THING.

So just to further stress, this is Modern Inheritance/MIC right now.

Arya’s coming off from a hell of a time. You don’t exactly process deaths of loved ones very well while being tortured, and while she’s juggling all that plus two near death experiences that occurred probably within a week of each other, Eragon nearly dying and his back spasms, the guy that tortured her and killed her best friend and her mate is dead but she didn’t get to have a swing at him, mentally preparing to face her queen/mother, the ‘a whole clan now wants to murder Saphira and Eragon’ situation, civil unrest in the city they’re in, just Brom being Brom, physical stresses from the whole *waves hands at previous paragraph*, she’s suddenly reminded that hey...the dwarves and humans have something that elves don’t.

What’s that? Religion. And what usually comes with a religion?

The concept of an afterlife. The general idea that when someone dies they have not really left. The comfort that if you pray, meditate, visit a grave, do something special to you/your faith then you can make a connection to your lost loved ones and friends. The promise that even though they’ve left this world, they’re still looking out for you. And one day you’ll see them again. The separation is only brief.

And damn. Right then, that hurts for Arya. It’s like being kicked while you’re down.

TMI and on but off topic: My mother died when I was 12. She had a progressive neural disease which pretty much destroyed her mentally and physically over the course of a year or so. During that year, there were a bunch of ‘spiritual’ people coming over. Not mainstream religion types, but still.

I hated them with a passion. I hated them, the stuff they said about any type of afterlife or spirituality, prayer, the idea that the dead were not all gone, I fucking HATED that bumper sticker that says ‘if anything can go well, it will’ because ho BOY did that say something for the shit I was seeing and going through at the time.

I had been agnostic bordering on atheist before but this was the nail in it for me. After mom finally died I was a real sourpuss/snarky little shit whenever religion came up. I insulted every religion any time it came up. I shut down anything having to do with my mom ‘watching over me’ or ‘being with me/us in spirit.’

It took me years to understand it. I was angry because I couldn’t bring myself to believe that after all the shit I saw, the pain my dad went through, that I went through, and the whole year of watching a bright, loving, intelligent woman that was my whole world turn to a fully paralyzed drooling mess with mood swings and no voice besides a pained moan...that there was any sort of god or spiritual energy or other bullshit out there. Because then why would it happen? And why to her? People say that ‘well if there is a god then why does war/famine/assault/torture/disease/etc. happen?’ but when it happens to you, and you were already teetering on the edge of ‘does it or does it not, maybe there is something out there…’ it’s like being smacked in the face with a shovel.

I’ve got nothing against religion now, as long as it isn’t toxic or manipulative, etc. But I can see where Arya would be coming from.

Because deep down, Arya sees what the dwarves have. This comfort in thinking that the dead aren’t all gone, and that all it takes is reaching out to them to share thoughts and feelings, and that you’ll see them again.

And she wants that too. She wants it so badly. She envies their ability to think that way, to simply have faith in what they cannot see. She wants to talk to Fäolin and Glenwing (who is still alive in MIC but at this point she doesn’t know that) again, she wants to tell them that she misses them and that Eragon and Saphira exist and their deaths weren’t for nothing and tell them all the things unsaid...but no matter how much she wants to, she can’t get past everything thats happened in the past 6+ months and her own cultural beliefs.

It hurts. She can’t think of anything else to say past the hurt and so she lashes out like I did. She doesn’t understand why really, but knows that religion and afterlives and all of it just make her...angry. Because what else could that cold rock in her chest be?

In MIC, Arya is not as stubborn when it comes to atheism or other cultures. Before the ambush, she frequently asked questions about the dwarvish religion, not exactly realizing that her questions could be considered more of ‘you dare question the faith’ than ‘so wait what if this happens? Do you still get to go to the afterlife? But what about when you feel a mind die? Where does it go?’ innocent type questions that come from curiosity. She still has the feeling that the money donated to religions could go to better places, but also realizes that sometimes the religions actually send said donations TO those places/the needy, and that structures/art/etc that were built long ago do kinda need upkeep. So instead of being a dick about it, when the dwarves at the temple bluntly tell her ‘would you shut up and leave already we don’t want to answer your questions’ she adds a cheeky ‘sure I’ll go as long as you donate to the Varden’s current fundraiser’ and goes on her way when they agree to donate.

But Arya still blatantly crosses a line by confronting Gannel rather sharply about her newfound feelings on religion while Eragon is there. She’s been following them as Eragon’s bodyguard (why the HELL did canon!Arya leave Eragon alone, even in a temple full of warrior monks, wheN A WHOLE CLAN WAS TRYING TO KILL HIM?!) and she doesn’t even realize that she’s said anything until Eragon looks back at her like ‘ooooh nooooooOO ARYA WHAT THE HELL?! WAS THAT?!’ and she sees that the back of Gannel’s head is turning purple with rage.

Eragon manages to extricate himself from it all and meet up with Saphira, and after a rather...heated...uh…”discussion,” Gannel finally flames that while Arya’s questions before pushed the limit, this was beyond unacceptable and asks what the fuck is wrong with her. Arya just storms out.

Arya comes back to the temple later that night, asks for Gannel, and pretty much kneels down and puts her forehead on the floor in front of him (MIC elves do this only when they realize they REALLY fucked up and use this stance as an open way of saying that they fucked up, apologize, and will accept the consequences) with a sincere apology for her earlier conduct. Honestly, her ear is still red from where Brom had twisted it when he caught wind of what she had done, but she’s not apologizing just because of that.

She wants to learn how to pray.

Not to a god or spirit, but how to talk to the ones she’s lost. The idea of religion giving a false sense of hope still hurts and angers her...but she’s realized that maybe there’s a reason why it can bring comfort.

Gannel awkwardly explains that a way to get started is to simply speak aloud, as if talking to someone that isn’t there. When he realizes Arya isn’t pulling his leg or going to go off on him again, he decides to give her the ‘how to talk to dead people’ primer course over some mead and does his best to keep the more hard religion stuff out of it. As a priest/monk, he’s used to consoling people who have lost family and loved ones. He can pick up the signs easily enough...when the person isn’t ready to punch a hole in his fancy history wall.

As she leaves, Arya apologizes again.

And prods Gannel to donate to the Varden’s current fundraiser.

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foxymuses · 4 years

Text

on the topic of rk900 && his ‘deviancy’

the way that i write rk900 to be is very specific, and it includes a lot, which i will? try to explain? as best i can? please feel free to ask clarifying questions though like i have so much to say about this and im sure i’ll miss something. anyway imma shove this under a cut because i KNOW im about to just fucking go.

so i wanna make it very clear from the get go that 900 is not deviant in the typical fashion. he does not believe that he is a free being with actual emotions and rights to live. there is never a moment where he stops and goes ‘oh shit’ and breaks through that red tape. he never has an ‘i may be deviant’ breakdown. he is not deviant.

however, he is not not-deviant.

what i mean by this is kind of complicated. let me start with some background into my personal interpretation of the rk900 series in general. they are a series designed for warfare -- the majority of them have been shipped overseas with soldiers to act as a variety of things: weapons, infiltration, an inhuman line of defense to protect the human soldiers --- like. they were specifically designed to be killers, to be dangerous, to be pretty damn hard to stop. they are essentially top of the line terminators -- are they entirely legal? ehhhhhh. but they let the government get away with things that might either kill their human soldiers or are of questionable ethic that they can just.... decommission the android afterwards. that’s their main function, the main reason they exist.

this is crucial, and i will explain more on it in a moment, but for the rest of this meta i’m going to be using rk900 to talk of the general model series, and 900 to speak specifically to mine (and, in a lesser way, the fandom one in general, though this should go without saying i don’t intend to infringe upon other personal headcanons of rk900 writers)

connor was the rk ‘law enforcement’ prototype, but he also functioned mainly as a playing piece in an android revolution that, let’s face it, cyberlife saw coming a mile away. cyberlife wanted a say. they wanted to have a semblance of control over how to twist the uprising in a way that benefit them. given 900 comes about in a world where the revolution was quelled, cyberlife basically achieved their goal (i’ll touch upon my meta of my machine connor and this in another post).

the reason this is important is because 900 was implanted with the majority of observations and experiences that connor had. things he learned about humanity, how to mimic it, how to manipulate it, how to use it. things like the events of the revolution in the order they happened, what it was like to be a detective with the dpd, literally like. all the things that connor went through or observed or scanned or downloaded or learned -- these were uploaded into 900.

now, his memories weren’t necessarily input into 900 -- that is, 900 doesn’t have any first hand accounts of most things (from petting sumo all the way to connor ending the revolution). so even if he has an understanding of what being on a case is like, he doesn’t have connor’s exact memories of doing it. it’s more like all of these things have been converted into data for him to retrieve -- it’s been shifted into facts, statements, articles, serving more as.... general history knowledge? like that stuff everyone just knows for some reason?

but it’s more in depth than that because, yknow, they intended for 900 to be top of the line (yes, 900, not rk900). so all this information from connor was used to boost the insanely vast amounts of knowledge that they input into 900 to begin with -- it was used as contextual information, filler information, you get me? because the main thing that differed between connor and 900 is that 900 was given all the knowledge he needed before he was released, where as connor was expected to observe and adapt. cyberlife took connor’s methods of observing and interacting and adapting to humanity and refined it so that 900 already had that information.

so when 900 was officially done, he had basically anything he might need to know in his software already. he didn’t need to learn anything.

so let me backtrack a little bit into why i say 900 gets these things and not all the rk900s.

like i said before, the rk900s were built for warfare. 900 was not. i mean, yes, his model and abilities are all the same, he is still an rk900 model. but he was not built to go to war. the 900 that connor meets in the zen garden is the same 900 i write. that particular rk900 model, 900, was specifically designed to replace connor. the others were mass produced for their purpose as war based androids. but 900 was made to work for the DPD, to sort of take connor’s place, in part because it gives them access to local law, but also because they want to monitor the place where connor was assigned.

so because of this 900 does not have a purpose.

he was not developed with any specific goal or mission or duty aside from ‘work with the dpd’, so he doesn’t have the same goal set that the rk900 models are programmed with. cyberlife essentially input all this data into 900, and then didn’t tell him what to do with it aside from ‘just go to this location’ which means that 900 had to figure it out for himself.

this is where cyberlife fucked up big time.

the other rk900 models are designed to be perfect soldiers -- deviancy was basically coded out of them based on connor’s experience (whether or not he went deviant, it was in his code). thats not to say that they can never go deviant, its just to say it would be really fucking hard to make them do that.

since 900 has none of that, he is inherently different from the rk900 model. when you make an android without a purpose, you have basically created a deviant android from the get go. 900 is more or less his own model, in which there is only one 900, and by default, he works for the Detroit Police Department.

now, generally, this means he’s paired with gavin (gotta live up to that delicious ship, honestly) so a lot of my following nonsense is stemmed from that but the point is that, he gets to decide what his goal is whenever he wants, so it can change, and it does change, and the choice is entirely his own. by all intents and purposes, cyberlife inadvertently created an android with honest to god free will.

so where does this leave us with deviancy? because i can hear ya’ll but fox, you said he wasn’t deviant and now you’re saying he is which is it?

here’s what makes 900, well, 900. as part of the fact that he is so incredibly self-aware, he knows he’s a machine. he accepts he’s a machine. there isn’t any like -- ‘i’m a machine’ with a touch of sadness or regret. he doesn’t wish to be human -- he has no desire to feel or experience human things, or do whatever deviant androids wanted. he doesn’t care about that. it doesn’t interest him in the slightest. and this isn’t because he doesn’t know about feelings or that “how could he know if he doesn’t want them if he hasn’t experienced them” because it’s not like that. 900 has an incredible sense of what things are, what they’d be like -- he got all of this from connor, remember. so 900 isn’t inherently interested in being anything other than a machine, and he holds no misunderstandings about what being a machine entails either.

does that make sense? hold on let me try it this way. because cyberlife tried so hard to make sure that 900′s software had everything, they created an incredibly self-aware android that doesn’t seek humanity because of how well they understand life. 900 doesn’t like or dislike being an android -- he just is. he recognizes that. wanting to be something else doesn’t... compute because it just doesn’t make sense. like why would he want to be human when he’s not? when he can be better and do more? like i can’t even say he’s happy about it because he doesn’t (at first) associate chemical reactions in his system with being emotions because they aren’t. it’s all synthetic.

he is perhaps the most alive an android can get without being alive, honestly.

900 decides that, upon being assigned to work with gavin, that gavin is technically his mission now. as a partner to a detective, but as a partner that is stronger, faster, and can withstand immense damage, he essentially positions himself as a bodyguard for the human. the problem here is that, due to his awareness, his approach to this is.... unorthodox.

900 will let gavin throw a punch at someone who can and will definitely hit back, but he’ll stop gavin from walking into an ambush. he might get gavin a coffee one day without being asked, but then throw the coffee at him the next day when gavin demands one. he has a habit of making sly comments and is known to push buttons and see what he can get away with, testing limits and constantly pressing against the boundaries of what he can do before someone snaps, and then sees if he can go just a little farther.

900 is very much his own person. he belongs to neither cyberlife nor DPD. he does what he wants when he wants it and how he wants it, and he can, at times, appear very human (albeit one that is obnoxious and at times infuriating). however 900 never lets it be forgotten that he is a machine. he can crush every bone in your body one by one while you’re helpless to it. he can have expressions that are near-humanlike : amused, angry, exasperated. but he will go from lightly smiling to fucking cold eyes and danger just radiating off of him to the point people will actually feel the room lower a few degrees

900 knows he’s a machine. if you even for a moment forget, he will remind you. he has unethically tortured suspects for information, they purposely don’t give 900 a gun at the start because he would get bored and simply shoot whoever they’re investigating and apologize later. he has no qualms about killing, about breaking laws or faces, about doing things the way that he feels like doing them, with or without anyone approving. and if anyone thinks they can stop him, they’re just. good fucking luck.

but the reason he doesn’t do any of this is because he is self-aware enough to know there’s no fucking point to it. his mission is, as he decides, “protect gavin reed” and he will do what it takes for that, which may include punching a suspect or stealing evidence or something, he doesn’t care, but if it serves no true purpose in what 900 is doing, then he consciously decides he’s not going to just.. do it. but the thing is that at any moment he could decide to change his mind. and that’s what makes him so terrifying. he is literally unpredictable.

i ... okay i think that’s what i wanted to say? just as like some added notes, but with gavin, 900 does become.... hmm... softer? he doesn’t soften but he basically claims gavin as his own, like he is assigned to be gavin’s partner but it becomes literally almost a possessive thing. 900 makes gavin his mission, and if anyone gets in the way, they’re fucked. but by attaching himself to a human, he opens himself up to the softer side of being human, so 900 never truly ‘becomes deviant’ because there is never, as i said, a moment where he’s got a red wall that says this isn’t protocol becaaaause he doesn’t have protocol. so there’s never a chance for him to break through it. but he takes care of his partner, makes sure gavin is eating well and sleeping well, makes sure he’s more or less safe, is always in tuned to where gavin is and what gavin is doing, will step in at a moment’s notice if he feels the need.

it becomes way more.... well, more, if this is a ship with a gavin, but regardless, 900 will have a gentler approach to his interactions with the human he has claimed that will be noticeable. softer tones, less cold eyes, more considerate touches. he’ll listen to gavin (may not always follow directions, but he listens), he’ll defend gavin’s actions, he’ll get angry if something happens to gavin. 900 never explicitly goes deviant, and he never fully accepts that what he feels is.... a real feeling? because he does not fully believe that androids can experience true emotion, so even if he does get angry, or he does feel amused or happy or whatever, it’s based on an extensively coded software that has made him so perfectly able to mimic humanity that it’s basically indecipherable. yes, he cares about gavin in most cases. yes he can feel panic or worry if something happens. but in general, no. he will not feel fear, he is not concerned with death, he can’t experience pain... so.

a last note is that like. this is the reason that he goes by 900. gavin typically calls him ‘nines’ which is only allowed for gavin. but a name is a human thing, and 900 is not and has no desire to be, so he just uses 900. most other people in the DPD also just use 900, sometimes they’ll call him rk which he’s okay with but it’s not his preference. he would’ve allowed gavin to name him if he wanted to but gavin didn’t, so that’s why when gavin begins using nines, that’s what 900 assumes as a name. 900 is comfortable to him, it’s who he is, and he doesn’t desire more than that.

alright i’m. i’m probably gonna start getting repetitive soon, and a lot of the rest of the emotional aspect is based on 900 being involved with gavin, and thats case by case so it’s can be subject to change, and this post is meant to serve as a general basis for my portrayal of 900.

#jesus i knew this would get long #I STILL DONT FEEL LIKE I SAID IT ALL #;;rk900canon #anyway if you actually fucking read that whole thing good lord

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skeletonsinmyclosets · 4 years

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Living my life is like watching a really great movie. There's nothing more overwhelming then the process thorugh which you accompany the main character on her way, you're excited about the decisions she makes, you cry through her breakdowns, and even though you're so desperate to get her that happy ending, you can't really do anything, can't help, and can't change her personality.

Of course, you know exacly what she should do, it' s always easier to judge the situations from the outside. She should laugh more. She should just love herself a tiny bit more, so she wouldn't get her soul crying and shaking when a random guy in the street catches her bestfriend's eye instead of her.

She should just have a tiny bit more of self - confidence, so when she sees that guy she's been into for a while and have had a lot of real good convos with, but never really got close to, she wouldn't turn her back to him awkwardly, just to avoid a conversation in which she'd feel so discomfortable because she doesn't feel funny and attractive enogh.

She should maybe respect her body a tiny bit more, so she wouldn't cry in her grandma's kitchen beacuse she wants to eat that sandwich so bad, but she can't because she just doesn't have the right to eat carbs.

She should love herself, at least for her friends sake. Getting nervous and irritated about herself when one of her girls looks extra hot instead of being proud is not just abnormal, but also very toxic. We all know, while comparing ourselves to others, we ALWAYS find a way to get that same result: they are better. Thats why it doesnt make any sense.... But she does it anyways.

She pretends she doesn't care and use tons of energy to hide her anger towards everydody who seems to have a better life from some pont of views. And meanwhile she wants to be her best self so desperately, she learns, that she can't trust in herself. She's been hiding her feeling for a very long time, even from herself, so when she's feeling great, there will always be something she gets insecure of, because she doesnt know what to belive anymore. being fine is just not for her tho.

So you're sitting there, being upset, and you feel, " if I could, I yelled at that girl". Why is she so fucked up? You'd tell her what to do. You'd say to her something like this:

"Why you doing this? You live your best years of your life, and you just grab them, punch them in the face, kill them, and throw their dead bodies away. You have a great-functioning brain, and all you use it for is making it attack itself over and over again. Can't you realise, it's just against the laws of nature? You should feed your body with food, and feed your soul with compliments. AND YOU FCKN DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO RUIN YOUR BRAIN NOR YOUR SOUL. It's like if as a parent you constantly bullied your own child you should take care of.

Who are you to decide that you can't have a good relationship with those people, because they'd never like you or would talk shit behind your back just like your "friends" did in your whole childhood. Give them a chance, it's not that huge favor.

Do you fckn read minds? Or why do you think that you know what people think of you? First, it's obvious, that you always guess wrong, and two, other people's thoughts of you are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Don't be afraid, if you're too much, they will show you, just trust your inner voice. And THIRD why the hell do you think you can just made up stories about OTHER people's feelings? Actually, since you're not him, it's very impolite to say "fuck he thinks i'm cringe/ugly/immature/annoying". It's not fair with him or with anyone else, you can't judge them this way. You hate him for the thoughts he didn't even had.

what do you think, if you can't belive you're able to have a healthy, loving relationship, because you don't deserve it, how could THAT guy belive the opposite, and make a move?

In your opinion, why you only have a thing with boys in the parties, half-drunk? Maybe the reasons is that in those moments you don't feel the pressure to be funny and impressive, it's enough for you to have a nice make- up on and feel hot. And from that exact moment you stop caring, you win. Or what do you think your brain is? It works instead of you, for you and always makes the best out of everything. If you play yourself, and show a fake personality, you just throw obstacles in your mind's way.

And, lastly, the most upsetting fact that you're smart. Your so damn smart. You know people more than you'd think, you understand those mechanisms inside the human brain so well. But for some reason, you can't USE this knoweledge to make your own life better. Cuz when it comes to you, you just don't trust your inner voice and you think that you can't get this, this is an exception. It isn't. Your normal and life - worthy, you have to belive this. I know it was hard when they called you ugly, it was hard to look into the mirror every day, and hate what you saw so bad, that you tortured it to look better, and nothing was pretty enogh for you. When you hated your parents and got annoyed by their every single word, just because they didn't fit to that life you imagined for yourself. I know, that once you got so upset that you burned off your own skin and told people it happend while you were cooking. But let it go, sweet girl. Those who hurt you weren't your people. Now you found them, and that's a kind of treasure you never thought you could get. That means, once you've beaten the impossible. You can redo it. Any time. With anything. "

Well, so that's what i'd shout to that girl from the movie. Maybe that girl is me. And the other girl watching the movie, who knows everything and writing these sentences... Well, me. Also me. I know all this, and I can't help myself tho.

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cawcawpeasants · 4 years

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Hi it's me I'm new but can you do one we're asta joins the Dark triad and how whould they treat him I know it's stupid but I couldn't think of any thing else

Hey there love. Thank you for all your kind messages, they really made me happym so I wanted to return your kindness by getting my butt out of this slump!! And sorry for the wait, I was on an excavation, but now I have Internet again and I had a long time to think about this.

So, this could be a relly great Idea for a kickass AU work. Like, what if Asta met the dark triad early on in the story, lets say even before the magic knights entrance exam. Canonically he met Fanzel around that time, too, so we’re even going to place this happening before all that.

It starts with the big What If the Spade people had their Informationnetwork better under control and had way better spies than they appear to have right now (cause yall, how coukd they have missed Asta. He was in the Newspaper for gods sake. How bad a spy do you have to be to miss that? And for a warmongering nation, they really are way too uninformed about strenghts and their enemies. Little pet peeve of mine.)

BUT! Now, they hear of this kid who got a great and strong grimoire in a place where that doesnt happen. First they hear all about Yuno and are like, yeah, okay, new blimp on the radar, we gotta calculate this new potentially powerful enemy in, and then they get the news of Asta and how he came to have a weird and shady 5 leaf clover grimoire. And now at least Dantes interest is piqued.

So, they decide to check it out, cause who might that be? Which Demon has found a new host? And how did it happen without them hearing about a big catastrophic event in Clover, which is usually Zagreds, the word demons, preferred method of getting what he wants,

Things are so interesting that the Zogratis siblings go on a road trip together, to find out more and maybe cause some menace on the way, in case they get bored. Its gonna be prime family bonding time!

They meet Asta under the skull, where he always trains, and they see him basically just lugging this big sword around but...not using either magic or the devils power. Something is weird here. Vanica also comments that the kid is kinda hunky with some nice features, but kinda veery very tiny, and she loses a bit of interest already. Zenon appreciates a dude who knows his workout, but the no magic factor makes him think of Asta as kinda weak, way too weak to be a Devil host, and he tells Dante that it might be a fluke, that their information was wrong, and that they should just go and find the responsible spy and torture him, for having them come out all this way just to see a kid play at being a knight and yell a lot.

Dante still has an uneasy feeling, that it might be a little more than just that, but he also has to agree that Asta has not shown any sign of devil powers, so he cant even ask lucifero which Demon slipped past their Network and got stranded in Clover, and this part of clover of all places too. Really, no self respecting lord of hell would do this to themselves, not even Zagred who maybe got a little desperate over the millenia.

Just as they are about to turn and leave, a voice comes up to them, asking them what they are doing. and yes, it comes up to them, cause they are in their usual and very very stealthy and absolutely not suspicious manner flying half a kilometre over the ground, maybe a little to the left, so they are guarded by the shades of the columns, and bickering with each other about first going to torture the spies, or getting something to eat before that. Just ye normal roadtrip talks.

Anyways, Asta heard them or sensed them (my boys instincts are crazy, like damn), and his gut feeling tells him something is off wht the weirdly fancy dressed floating strangers with seemingly cold eyes and spade-symbols and regalia all on them. He might not be the smartest noodle in the pot, but even he knows when he sees people in a place they dont belong.

Yeah, so, from here on out things can go a great many ways, Zenon would probably suggest they get rid of him and also that would make at least for a little amusement for now. Vanica would probably agree, cause at least they would be doing ANYTHing but staying there and doing nothing but watch a little boy. Or they could get some snacks, shes kinda hungry, for the 300th time today.

Dante tho, he still wants his questions answered. So why not ask? He floats down towards Asta, and is all like, Hello there young man, that is a fine sword youre having there, pray tell where did you get that?

And Asta is like, wow, someone likes my sword? And this little angel boy just happily wants to help people, especially those 3 nobles who seem like they got hella damn lost (and not like they are a nightmare for many captains and Julius, I mean, can you imagine all the work thats gonna have to happen, when they find out that the dark triad can just enter Clover all willy nilly?? Oh, Marx is gonna haunt them with papers for months! And Augustus voice is gonna shriek through all the castle in that unbeliievable high octave about how useless they all are, and yeah, things just aint gonna be great, but Asta doesnt know, this blessed summer child is not the brightest light at times)

Cause sister lily and father Orsi raised him right he shows Dante all about his sword and his grimoire, and Dante sees it and probably goes like !!!. And then he knows that Asta really is a demons host, but he doesnt seem to have realized it himself. How strange. He tries to ask Asta a few questions, but the kiddo just really doesnt know a thing and after a while of talking around the topic, he tries the more direct route

“Say Boy, have you ever heard a Voice inside your head? Telling you things about your magic and what to do?”

“Yeah, Yuno says thats called thinking and that people should do that more often.”

“...right. But was there one besides the regular Voice you hear when you think?”

“No? Was there supposed to be one before I got the grimoire?”

“...Nevermind”

Asta also couldnt remember ever seeing a weird figure, well not specifically because “not before you guys showed up. I think the weirdest figure is probably Yuno, way too damn handsome that jerk!”

Or sensing another Magic mingle with his, “What do you mean this isnt my magic?”

Finally, Dante asks Asta if he ever heard about the Devil, and “Yeah of course, I was raised in a church, and Sister Lily tells us all the best good night stories! Im gonna mary one day and then we tell each other all those every night!!” And then Asta got stuck thinking about his sister Lily,and Dante had to realize that its no use.

He could now either kidnap Asta and train him under the dark triad, or he could leave him be and keep his tabs on the strange kid with big dreams. Yeah, well, kidnapping Asta is, if the conversation with him was any clue, not gonna be an easy and quiet thing, and its gonna be a political mess, a headache to boot too. Also Zenon and Vanica are probably going to try kill Asta if he gets too much for them anyways, so i would be useless. He sighed, and shook his head, and shot Asta a fake smile

“Thank you for answering all my questions, boy, have a nice training session for whatever it is youre trying o achieve here.”

“Oh, Im training to become a Magic knight in a few months!”

“Ah”

“Im gonna become the Wizard king! (✧ ∇ ✧)”

“...Well, good luck with that, Im going home now”

“Thank you, also your friends left like 20 minutes ago”

Cue unhappy Dante. But at least they learned something...I think? And they went and cleaned up that Information pipe line real quick and then got something to eat.

Yeah so, I tried. Im still not back to peak form, but this was fun! Poor Dante was probably hella frustrated afterwards, but Asta really jsut doesnt know xD and later on, Asta is constantly wih people who are pretty sure to recognize the Spade royalty. I mean, they dont make it particulary hard. And Asta has his goal set, and he takes the most direct route to get there.

im pretty sure, as things are now, Zenon and Vanica are going to be way more interested too, but I really need to know a lot more about Vanica.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and thank you again for sending me those words of encouragement! Have a lovely day!!

#caw caw #man its been ages #im sorry folks for disappearing of the grid #and ya know what #thanks to corona #i dont have uni #so maybe if anyone wants some easy headcannons hit me up #im kinda feeling this again :)#black clover #The dark triad #Asta #Dante Zogratis #Zenon Zogratis #Vanica Zogratis #beware: no plot just weird musings and ramblings

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fallout4reactsblog · 5 years

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companions react to ss being in the red room before the war, and thats why their so good at fighting, killing, seducing people, etc

Companions are just realizing their crush for sole in this one! Warnings: depictions of violence, drug use

Cait: Cait watched sole disable the last of the collars keeping civilians as raider slaves. She allowed herself the briefest smile as families tearfully reunited and sole humbly waved off praise, only letting the barest hint of a smile show through on their face. As soon as they could get away, they picked their way over to her side, leaning up against the building with their arms folded.

“Thanks for doin’ this,” Cait said, giving them a gentle punch to the shoulder. “I know it was a hassle, but I do appreciate you doin’ this stuff for me.”

“Ah, don’t worry about it. Slavers are dicks. Anytime I can get a chance to hurt them, I will.” Their eyes trailed over the civilians making their way out of the camp and toward wherever home was. “Besides, it’s a little bit for me, too.”

“Oh?” Cait raised an eyebrow, waiting for them to continue, and to her surprise, they did.

“I guess it was a long time ago, but I was in cryo for most of that, so I don’t remember. So it feels like a couple months. But I remember what it was like to be at someone’s beck and call. No freedom, no will of your own, just doing what you were told.”

“Were there slaves before the war?”

They laughed a little. “Not legal ones, no. But there were people that would take civilians and train them in a place called the red room, teach them to become something other than human. Fighters, spies, torturers. They’d beat you until you learned, then either kill you or beat you some more. Then, once you graduated, you were always under your handlers command.”

Cait was smart enough to put two and two together. “And that was you.”

They nodded. “That was me, and I fucking hated it. The skills are great to have now, but constantly having to do everything my handler told me to, well, that was pretty damn miserable.”

“I always knew you’d seen some shite,” she said, leaning her head back against the wall. “Guess I was right.”

“Guess you were. Makes us two peas in a pod, huh?”

“Sure,” she snorted. “Two peas in a pod, whatever that means.”

“Come on.” They shoved off the wall and stepped into the sun. “Let’s get out of here. No sense in dredging up nasty memories for no reason.”

“I couldn’t agree more.”

They headed into the sun.

Curie: “You have a lot of scars, cheri(e),” Curie noted as she patched up the latest of sole’s wounds. Her fingers trailed one without meaning to, and she quickly snatched her hand away in embarrassment.

Thankfully, sole didn’t seem to notice, as they just nodded. “The wasteland’s a pretty dangerous place. You get hurt a lot.”

Curie hummed a little, trying to focus in on the bandages that she was supposedly applying, but getting a little too distracted by their naked back to pay as much attention as she should. “Oui, this is true. But some of these are very old, non? They are from before the war, I think.”

They nodded again, letting out a long breath. “I suppose that’s also true. Life wasn’t much safer for me before the war, I guess.”

“Oh, why not?” She reached for a bit of tape to hold the bandages in place. “I did not think things were very dangerous before the war, but then again, I was just a small robot in a lab. My view of things was probably not the best.”

“Yeah?” They laughed a little. “I guess not. You were probably pretty protected, huh?”

“Oh, yes. The only news that I knew was whatever my fellow scientists were talking about. Otherwise, I would not have even known there was a war. “

“Yeah, things were a little different for me, I guess.” Their fingers drummed against the counter they were perched on. “In all the news you ever got, did you ever hear of something called a red room?”

“Oui, I did. There was a lot of talk about the police finding one not far from where I worked. We followed the story of them arresting everyone and the trials for months. I was very happy. All that talk about the violence and horrible things happening made me very unhappy. It was hard to work.”

They chuckled again, shoulders shaking. “That’s funny. I think that one was the one that I went through.”

Curie’s hands stilled, falling flat against sole’s skin. “You experienced one of these awful places? Cheri(e), tell me it isn’t so.”

“But I did,” they said with a shrug. “Believe me, I was as excited as you to see that hellhole get shut down. Watching them try my handler was the best thing I’ve ever seen, especially the look on that asshole’s face when they sent him away for life.”

“Mon dieu.” Curie moved around the counter to stand in front of them and take their hands. “I am so sorry. You must have seen such awful things.”

“Of course. But going through all those things is what makes it possible to stay alive out here. So, I guess, in a way, I owe them.”

“Absolutely not. You do not owe those horrible people anything.” She cupped their face in her hands. “You would have made it just fine on your own. You are very strong and very smart.”

“Thanks, Curie.” They were a little muffled, due to the squished nature of their face, but their smile was genuine.

“Of course. Now, let me finish patching you up.”

She slid back around the counter as sole whined, “How long does it take?”

“A while, if you want it done well.” She reached for another roll of bandages. “If you would take care of yourself, and not try to fight so many Deathclaws, this would not happen.”

“I know, I know.” But they were laughing, and so was she, and everything was good.

Danse: He supposed that one of the things that made him and sole such good partners was their tendency to have nightmares.

They shot up in bed across the room, panting heavily, eyes unfocused as they looked around. Slowly, he waved from his position keeping watch at the window, and when their face snapped to him, he saw fear clouding their vision.

“You with me, soldier?”

Their head shook, fingers curling around their wrist, nails digging into their skin. “I’m- I’m not-”

“It’s alright. You’re safe here.” He slid off the stool. “I’m going to walk toward you. Try to count the steps I’m taking. I’ll take it slow.”

His foot hit the floor, and they softly whispered, “One,” eyes locked on his shoes. They counted the steps as he eased toward them.

“Is it alright to touch you?” He knew from experience that contact wasn’t always the way. Rhys had punched him more times than he could count, just from the surprise, but sole slowly nodded. His fingers found theirs, and he pulled their hand away from their wrist. Gently, he pushed their holotags into their palm, and the other hand rubbed away the angry red crescents in their skin.

“Wherever you were, it’s alright. You aren’t there anymore. Can you tell me where we are?”

They nodded, and their voice shook a little as they spoke. “We set up camp in an abandoned drugstore. You offered to take first watch, said you couldn’t sleep anyway. I didn’t argue; I was tired. It was a long day.”

“It was.”

He stayed there, sitting across from them for a minute, watching them come back to the present. Their hand dropped from their holotags, and they slowly relaxed.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked once they seemed to be with him again.

They sighed heavily and nodded, fingers curling into the bedroll. “Do you know what a red room is?”

“I’m familiar with the concept. A room of training through torture. They’re highly frowned upon here.”

“Well, that’s nice to hear, at least.” Their eyes darted around the room, eventually settling on tracing the pattern in the floorboards. “I went through one, back before the war. It’s where I learned to fight. I guess it kinda messed me up.”

“Anyone would be emotionally scarred by that experience. It wasn’t your fault.”

They sighed again, then nodded hesitantly. “Yeah, I suppose.”

Silence stretched between them. He gently rubbed the redness away from their skin, trying to soothe the marks they’d made. He wasn’t quite sure when to stop, but they told him by pulling away and standing up.

“Here, you should try to sleep. I’ll take watch.”

“Are you certain?” He watched them settle on the stool he’d pulled up by the window. “I can stay up a while longer.”

“No, I mean it. Try to sleep.” They smiled, a little weakly. “It’s gonna be another big day tomorrow.”

“If you’re sure you’re alright.”

“I promise.”

He nodded and settled into the still-warm bedroll, mind spinning with this new information. He couldn’t imagine the things they must have seen, or even the things they must have done.

“Go to sleep, sir.” They seemed to read his mind. “I’ll wake you if I need you.”

He took their advice.

Deacon: Deacon liked the way the new agent worked, he decided as he sat back in his chair. He watched their leg gently press against a mark in the Dugout Inn, listened to them laugh at some joke the target had made. Their seduction techniques were beyond any he’d ever seen. They made it look so easy, even he found himself believing the attraction was genuine for a moment.

Their eyes left their target only for a moment, and they spared him a wink and a smile before returning to the Brotherhood Knight on their left, whose words were just beginning to slur together. They motioned to Vadim for another drink, and a certain change in their demeanor let Deacon know that they were about to get down to business.

Ten minutes later, when the information had been retrieved and the Knight was tucked into a bed, courtesy of sole, Deacon found them side-by-side as they stepped out into the rainy Diamond City air.

“How do you do that?” He asked, not trying to hide his grin as he gently nudged their shoulder.

“Do what?” They playfully nudged him back, just hard enough for him to stumble a bit.

“Handle those missions like you do.” He darted back to their side, shoulder hitting theirs hard enough to nearly make them stumble into a building. “You make it look so easy.”

“Secrets I learned before the war. You get to be an old-timer like me, you pick up a few things.” They practically ran at him to shove him, smile shimmering under the lights, and he was the first to hit the wall. “I didn’t go through the red room and come out with nothing to show for it.”

That was enough to make him pause their bout of roughhousing. “Sole, you went through a red room?”

They blinked twice, seemingly caught off guard by what they’d just said, then plastered a too-tight grin on. “Sure did. Terrible vacation, that was. Food was bad, hotel was bad, customer service sucked as well. One star because at least it was educational.”

Deacon was a liar. He knew that, and he also knew that it was his coping mechanism to deal with everything that had happened. In this moment, sole was not being a very good liar, but they sure were trying to deal with what they’d been through. So he wrapped an arm around their shoulder and laughed at their joke, and after a moment, they did, too, though a little uncertainly at first.

“Come on,” he finally said, pulling them back toward the exit to Diamond City. “Let’s get out of here and give Des the information you just expertly pulled out of that girl.”

They chuckled again, leaning into his side a little more to wrap an arm around his waist. “She’ll be happy we were so efficient.”

“She’ll be happy you were so efficient.” His other hand reached up to gently tap their nose. “All I did was watch.”

“You were…” they struggled for the words. “Moral support.”

“Sure, moral support.”

Gently, he squeezed their shoulders, and the two of them headed for home.

Gage: Gage liked a lot of things about his new boss. He liked the way they fought, he liked the way their ass looked in their jeans, and he liked that they certainly weren’t Colter. Mostly, though, he liked the way they got shit done.

A sickening crunch echoed through the streets as a traitor’s face met the pavement. They yanked the attached head up by the hair, snarling into terrified eyes.

“Where the fuck are the supplies, Davies?”

Davies looked like he was probably going to shit himself, but he shook his head in their grip. “I don’t know anything- I-”

Sole interrupted him with another slam against the road. This time they let him stay, grinding his broken nose into the ground, pulling a muffled scream from his limp body. “You know who you were working for, you piece of shit. Start talking.”

Muffled words were swallowed by the ground, and they dragged him up by the hair once again.

“All I did was do what Char told me to do. I swear, that’s all I know, please, she said she’d kill me if I didn’t do it. Please.”

“Oh, Davies.” Their lips curled into a sneer. “Did you really think Char could fuck you up worse than me?”

“No,” he whimpered. “Please, Overboss…”

They shook their head and gestured to a raider nearby. “Get this dumbass on a pike, and bring me Char.”

Davies’s screams and begs for mercy echoed off the building and fell on deaf ears. Sole stood up and wiped their hands on their jeans.

“Nice work, boss.” Gage offered them a can of water, which they plucked from his hands. “I think a lot of the people around here could stand to learn somethin’ from you.”

They snorted and handed the water back. “We could make our own red room here, if we really wanted. Make a whole new line of raiders. Nobody would dare fuck with us, then.”

Gage didn’t quite want to ask, but curiosity was burning him up from the inside out, and eventually he just couldn’t hold it in. “A red room?”

“Yeah, you know. A place for training. You take a bunch of people, put them in isolation, make them learn to be killers and spies and beat the shit out of them or kill them if they don’t succeed.” They eyed his undoubtedly quizzical look. “Do those not exist anymore?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Well, maybe they should.” They kicked some dirt over the spot of blood Davies’s face had made on the ground. “After all, I learned everything I know from a red room.”

“You’re a badass, boss, there’s no denying.”

They grinned at him, and opened their mouth to say more, but Char’s voice cut them off.

“What the fuck is going on here? Why do I have to see the Overboss?”

Their grin widened into something far more unpleasant, and Gage settled back to watch them work, contemplating how to set up one of these “red rooms” for the boss. It’d make a nice present for them.

Char’s shriek echoed off the buildings as the Overboss’s ball bat connected with her knee.

Plus, it might keep him on their good side for just a little while longer.

Hancock: He sank back into the couch cushions, watching the colors begin to spin along the ceiling. Sole sank in beside him, head dropping back against his arm, and they let out a contented sigh that he could just barely hear over the song playing from the radio. He loved to get high with sole.

“‘S a good batch,” he mumbled, and reached up to gently run his fingers through their hair, soft strands tickling his skin even more than usual.

“You hear that?” they asked in reply, sitting up again. He whined a little at the sudden lack of warmth against his side.

“What, the radio?”

“No, that- that-” They stumbled to the window, pushing it open. Cold air rushed into the room, and Hancock whined again.

“That what?”

“That screaming. It’s getting louder.” Their now-yellow eyes darted around the room, and they reached over to shut off the radio. The world went quiet around him.

“I don’t hear anything.”

Their hands reached for their ears. “How do you not hear that?” they shouted, making him jump and land unceremoniously in the floor. “God, it sounds like-”

They froze, eyes on the door. He looked over, seeing nothing, but sole looked like they’d seen a ghost. Fingers still curled around their ears, they whispered, “Alex?”

“Hey.” He crawled across the floor to wave a hand in front of their eyes. “Hey, there’s no one there.”

“I’m sorry,” they whimpered, tears beginning to run down their face. “I didn’t want to, Alex, they made me, they said they’d kill me, they’d kill my son. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry.”

Hancock’s drug-addled mind made two and two connect, and when they finally made four, he was glad they’d taken Jet. Just a few seconds left, now. “Sole. Hey, there’s no one there. It’s just us.”

“I’m sorry,” they said again, rocking back and forth slowly. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to, I’m sorry.”

As the drug faded out, he wrapped them in a hug, tucking them against his chest. He rocked them a little slower, trying to calm them, trying to soothe the sobs that wracked their body. The colors finally disappeared from around him, and sole’s hands fell away from their ears.

“Bad trip?” he whispered gently, and they nodded.

“Real bad.”

“What happened.”

“I- I saw an old friend of mine. Someone I was forced to kill. We were close and-” They laughed and didn’t bother to finish their sentence.

“Who’d make you do that?” He ran a hand through their hair.

“My handlers. That’s what the red room does, John. It makes you do terrible things, and then it uses the guilt from that to make you do more awful things until you stop caring and just start doing what you’re told. And if that doesn’t work, they show up to your house in the middle of the night and threaten to kill everyone inside, including your newborn son, if you don’t carry out your orders. So, you go torture your best friend to death for turning and then you try to move on with your life.”

He wasn’t sure what all that meant, exactly, but he was sure that sole needed him. So they sat on the floor together, slowly rocking back and forth, him whispering calming words every now and then, and he promised himself that he would never, ever let sole get high on Jet again.

MacCready: Robert Joseph MacCready was in no place to judge people for their personal business. He’d woken sole up enough times shouting Lucy or Duncan’s name that he couldn’t be irritated when they talked in their sleep either.

But still, he thought there was something a little different between shouting for a family member and snarling, “Begging for your life won’t matter to me” at three in the morning.

The strangest thing was that, come morning, sole never mentioned this. They were their usual chipper self, offering him a cup of instant coffee and a cigarette. The sheer juxtaposition of the sharpshooter he knew by day and the apparent psychopath that came out in their dreams was enough to unsettle him to the point he was actually willing to ask.

“So what’s up with your dreams?” He asked one morning, after their mutterings had kept him up late into the night.

They raised an eyebrow as they refilled their coffee. “I don’t catch your meaning.”

“Y’know, what do you dream about at night? You’re a pretty restless sleeper.”

They slurped the cool layer of coffee off the top. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, RJ.”

He sighed, seeing that they weren’t going to give him the answers on their own. “You say weird stuff in your sleep. It’s creepy and I want some answers.”

“What do I say?” They laughed a little, leaning back against a tree, seemingly unfazed.

“Weird stuff,” he said again. “Stuff like, ‘Shut up or I’ll kill you.’”

Their face collapsed. The energy in the camp seemed to shift in merely a second, and he’d swear the world went a little grayer. “Oh, I thought… Nevermind.”

“Sole.” His eyebrows furrowed seeing how clearly upset they had suddenly become. “What’s going on?”

Their fingers ran over the side of the mug they were holding, tracing the design on it. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“It’s clearly bothering you.” He reached out to touch them, but pulled away at the last minute. “You can talk to me.”

A breath hissed between their teeth, stirring the steam rising off their coffee. “Did you ever wonder how I got be such a good shot?”

“Sure, lots of times.”

“I figured.” They sipped their coffee again, clearly uncomfortable. “This is hard to talk about, I guess. But, y’know, you’ve told me a bit about you, so it’s only fair…” They sighed one more time, then set their coffee cup to the side. “Back before the war, I was trained in a place called the red room. Heard of it?”

He shook his head.

“I didn’t figure. Basically, it was a ‘learn to do this or I’ll kill you’ thing, where I learned how to fight, how to seduce people, how to… well, torture them to get information. That’s what you’re hearing. I was there for a long time, so I guess it stuck.”

His breath hitched in his throat, stealing his words for a moment, but he finally managed to choke out, “You torture people when you dream?”

They bit their lip and nodded slowly, picking up the coffee cup again. “I guess so.”

“I- that’s messed up.”

They laughed, bitterly. “You don’t have to tell me twice.”

They lapsed into silence. MacCready tried to process what he’d just heard. His fingers combed through the grass, trying to ground him to the here and now and not freak out over this new reality.

“If you don’t want to stick around, I understand.” Their voice didn’t shake. “I probably wouldn’t.”

He scowled at them, a little playful but mostly genuine. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

They glanced over, eyes betraying their vulnerability. Suddenly, he felt a pang of guilt for not having told them more about himself. “Promise?”

“Yeah, sure.” His cheeks flushed a little. “Unless you do something awful, I’ll stick around.”

They nodded, and their posture relaxed once again.They drank their coffee, he drank his, and together they settled back into life.

Nick: The Valentine Detective Agency was usually a quiet place. Nick liked it that way. There was something comforting in knowing that, no matter what happened, he always had a place to go back to that was warm and quiet.

That changed a little when sole arrived. It took them a while to settle into the routine that he and Ellie had unofficially set out, but once they had the hang of things, Nick found he liked having them around. They had a relaxing air about them, and it was nice to have someone else to work on cases with.

The only time sole ever broke their usual calm persona was at night. On the rare occasion they slept in the agency, it wasn’t uncommon to hear whimpers of what he thought was pain at first, or words that begged for someone to not hurt them.

Nick knew what bad mental health looked like, and he hated to watch his friend suffer.

“Got a minute?” he asked, one particularly slow afternoon.

Sole glanced up from the case file they were reading over for what had to be the hundredth time, then nodded and set it to the side. “Sure, what’s up?”

“Well, I’ve noticed you don’t always sleep very well. Get a lot of nightmares?”

They pursed their lips in displeasure but nodded, refusing to meet his eyes.

“You know, talking about this stuff helps.” He offered them a mug of coffee, which they accepted but didn’t drink. “I’m always here.”

“It’s hard to talk about.” They wrapped one arm around themselves, staring into the distance.

He considered that for a moment, then motioned them to sit in a chair beside him. They did, slowly, and he produced a piece of paper from his jacket along with a pencil. He scratched down. “Do you think writing about it will be easier?”, then offered the pencil to them.

They considered the offer for a moment before setting their coffee to the side and plucking the pencil from his fingers. “It might.”

Their handwriting was far nicer than his, and he tried his best to not be jealous, instead writing, “What do you dream about?”

“Things I did before the war. I don’t want to bother you with all the details.”

He sighed and shook his head, retrieving the pencil. “I’m one of the few people who might understand. It’s not a bother. I want to help.”

They tapped the pencil against their lips a moment, considering, then scrawled, “I was in a red room. I did some stuff.”

“What stuff?” He already knew the answer, but him making assumptions wasn’t going to make them feel better.

“Torture. Killing. That sort of stuff. It was-” they paused int their writing, thought for a moment, then resumed, “awful. Sometimes, I think there’s still some of them out there, looking for me. Even though it’s silly and they probably all died when the bombs fell.”

Nick wrapped a gentle arm around their shoulders as he scratched out his reply. “The mind is strange sometimes. It makes us believe things that don’t make sense, puts memories in that we don’t want. It’s okay to be afraid. But you have people to help you. We’re on your side.”

The didn’t take the pencil from him, just opted to wrap their arms around him and whisper, “Thanks, Nick.”

He hugged them back. “No problem, kid. Any time.”

Piper: “Come on, sole,” Piper whined, trailing her traveling companion by a few steps. “You’ve picked this camp twice over already. There’s nothing here.”

“Well then what does this go to?” They brandished a key they’d pulled off of the Gunner Captain, metal glinting almost menacingly in the light.

“Probably something in one of the other camps.”

They shook their head. “Something isn’t right here, Piper. I just can’t put my finger on it.”

Piper sighed and resigned herself to another round through the building. “Alright.”

Sole nodded their thanks, and their right hand found the wall again as they traced their way through the building. Piper followed, mentally composing a new article on all the ways the hero of the Commonwealth was an idiot,though a lovable idiot, an idiot nonetheless.

Suddenly, sole came to a halt, and Piper, who wasn’t paying attention, ran straight into them with a small “oof.”

“What’d you find, Blue?” she asked, straightening her cap on her head and dusting off her coat.

Sole grinned. “Secret door.”

Their fingers wedged in between two wall panels, and with a heavy shove and a grinding of rusted gears, the wall slid to reveal a long, empty corridor. Fluorescent lights flicked on overhead as they stepped into the hall, illuminating the area. At the end, a large metal door stood imposingly, and sole shot a very smug grin at Piper as they slid the key into the lock and turned.

The smile dropped away from their face as the door swung open. The key clattered from their hand to hit the floor, and they just stood, staring into what seemed to Piper to be an empty room like any other, littered with skeletons and a few towels.

“Uh, Blue?”

“They starved,” they whispered, seeming to forget that Piper was even there. “The handlers must have died when the bombs dropped.”

Piper rocked back on her heels anxiously. “Blue, it’s just a bunch of skeletons. We see them all the time.”

“I might have known these people, Piper. I trained here. This was…” They sank to their knees to trace a long scratch mark on the tile flooring, stained dark brown. “This was my red room.”

Piper’s breath caught, and she sank down into a low squat beside them. “Oh, I- Geez, I don’t know what to say.”

They shook their head. “Don’t say anything.” A long breath dropped from their lips. “It’s a long way behind me now. I guess at least I have closure. Nobody’s gonna be coming after me now, right?”

It was a weak attempt at a joke, but Piper smiled anyway. “Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“Wanna help me burn this place to the ground?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Preston: Sole had a lot of bad habits. He knew that about them, and so he tried to mitigate it when he could. He didn’t let them stay up all night working on new defenses, he made them take at least one day off a week, he made sure to get some food into them every once in awhile because they’d forget to eat.

He knew what guilt looked like for sole. It looked like running yourself into the ground week after week, trying to solve every problem they found, trying to save everyone. He didn’t know what they’d done, and for a while, he didn’t ask. He reasoned that it was their business and that they’d figure it out in time.

But they didn’t. As the months wore on, they only became more frenzied, taking on more responsibility, handling more issues. He appreciated the help, sure, and as a Minuteman he knew that serving the people was their first priority. As their friend, though, he knew it wasn’t healthy.

His tactic wasn’t the most honorable, he’d admit. He waited until late night, when they were exhausted and their defenses were down, to corner them at the workbench. They were bent over what looked to be the wiring for a new turret of some kind. He whistled loudly as he approached, trying not to startle them, and they waved with a screwdriver in his direction.

“General,” he said when he was finally close enough to not shout through the sleeping Sanctuary Hills. “We need to have a talk.”

“I’ll go to bed in a bit, Preston. I just need to finish this.”

“This isn’t about that.” Gently, he rested his hand on theirs, stopping their work. “This is about you.”

“I know, I know. I’m not taking care of myself, I work too hard, blah blah blah. Spare me the lecture.”

“Not this time.” He perched on the counter to the workbench. “This time it’s something different.”

“What then?” The lights made the dark circles under their eyes stand out against their paler-than-usual skin. They looked exhausted, and for a brief moment, he almost backed down and sent them to rest.

He didn’t. “What are you running from, sole? What are you making up for?”

They said nothing for a long moment, simply looked at him. The lights danced in watery eyes, and he wordlessly handed them a handkerchief. They took it and wrung it between their hands.

“I’ve got my own Quincy,” they whispered finally. “I’m just trying to make up for the damage I’ve done.”

“Sole,” he said again, softly and kindly as he could. “I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”

They trembled, undecided, for a moment longer. Their eyes held uncertainty and something he thought might be fear, so all he did was smile.

“It’ll be okay. We’re friends. You can tell me.”

They twisted the handkerchief tighter as they spoke, as if they could choke out their demons through it. “Back before the war, before I went into the vault, I was trained in a place called the red room. I… I learned awful things there. I did awful things there. My handlers would send in people and tell me to find out what they knew. A lot of them were scared. They were just normal people in the wrong place at the wrong time. I hurt a lot of good people, I-” They sucked in a breath. “I killed a lot of good people that didn’t deserve it. I just want to make up for what I did.”

“That’s noble,” he whispered, laying a hesitant hand on their shoulder. “That means you’re on the right track.”

“I don’t think I can ever make up for everything I did, Preston.”

“I know. But all we can do is try, right? We have to promise ourselves we won’t go back to that, that we’ll be better. That’s how we make up for it. We help others, and we help ourselves.”

They nodded, finally dabbing at their eyes. “Okay.”

He smiled and patted them softly. “Alright. Now, let’s get you to bed.”

For once, they didn’t resist, and he guided them away.

X6: X6 knew what humans were supposed to be like. He was around them often enough to observe their usual patterns and habits, and overall he would say he had a decent idea of what a normal human typically behaved like.

That was one of the things that intrigued him so much when it came to the new director. They didn’t fit that pattern at all. They were closer to him and his courser siblings than any human he’d ever known.

He wasn’t about to ask about it though. No, X6 had more pride than that, and he knew all too well what the costs of stepping out of line were. So instead, he snuck out at night to poke around in their personal file. No harm, no foul, and if he got caught, he could always just say he was doing research for their next mission.

What he found was hauntingly familiar. This concept of a “red room,” something he’d never heard of before, dredged up a host of old memories for him, and he forced them to the back of his mind as he scanned the file. It seemed there was a reason that the new director reminded him so much of a courser; the training was incredibly similar. The Institute had probably modeled their courser training after this, removing the part involving seduction and adding more to fighting.

He never did mention it to sole, though. It was their business, he decided, and he didn’t want to get punished for looking for answers he wasn’t asked to look for. But still, a part of him wanted that companionship with them, to reach out and let them know that they weren’t alone, especially when they cried out from night terrors or jumped at strange sounds in the dark.

X6 didn’t have the words for that, though, so he let them be, and hoped they’d approach him in their own time.

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ssironstrange · 5 years

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endgame rant

SPOILERS AHEAD PLEASE AVOID IF YOU HAVENT SEEN IT YET

yeah i know i said i wouldn’t post spoiler shit but listen i gotta get this off my chest ok

i have some REAL BIG FUCKING ISSUES with the way the russos handled a lot of plotlines. don’t get me wrong, this movie was amazing and epic and fucking award worthy, but as a fan i’ve taken offense to a Lot of things.

clint

nothing about his ronin story makes a lick of fucking sense in the mcu. his family is dusted so he…… goes on a mass murdering spree??? decides that he should get a haircut and spend the next five years getting an edgy tattoo sleeve??? um. okay then. destroy the past like 10 years of his character having one of the best moral compasses of the entire team. why did he take up using a fucking SWORD in present day? do you know how long it takes to master swordsmanship at the level he was? with at least half of the world’s teachers gone? more than five fucking years thats for damn sure. and between him and natasha dying for the soul stone? it should have been him. i know he had a family and all but listen. nat went through physical and psychological torture. her body was modified against her will. she was brainwashed and used. and finally, FINALLY she gets free of it all, finds a family in the avengers, and continues to try and better herself to make up for things that weren’t even her fault to begin with. and clint? what did he suffer? oh thats right. nothing. he’s just damn good at his job and loves his family. the fact he has a family sucks for sacrifice, but they are well taken care of and every single one of his kids are old enough to understand AND nat would have stepped in immediately as a parental figure to help laura. they fucking fridged nat for clint and i will never forgive that.

thor

here we go. thor’s character legit made me uncomfortable. they went way overboard with the new thor personality. but… fatshaming and making fun of his very real depression and ptsd?? wtf russos. like, haha he let himself go so funny but its NOT. he wasn’t even like…. fat, for one. just a normal dadbod and beer belly. which by the way seems a lot more realistic according to most norse myths of the gods. they were warriors, yeah, but they drank a fucking lot and feasted a fucking lot so. anyway. thor has lost his entire family. not only that but he watched them all die. he saw his mother bleed out. he watched his father disperse into nothingness. he watched the brother he has loved and cherished no matter the amount of times of betrayal and misdeeds get his neck snapped and his lifeless body thrown to the ground. and then the sister he never knew he had killing almost all of your people and then being forced to find a way to kill her. can you imagine trying to cope with that??? and when you put his age into our perspective, he’s only in his 20s. so imagine seeing your whole family die before you’re even 25, then taking on the responsibility of ruling your people. said surviving people are then massacred in front of you with only a few dozen escaping. THEN living with the guilt of blowing your chance to kill the man responsible for that and unable to stop him from decimating half the universe. (and even when he does get revenge on him, it’s too late) tell me you wouldn’t have an atomic level meltdown. thor is suffering so much and all they can do is make fun of him for it and shame him for it. he deserved better.

steve

yall know i don’t like steve. i don’t hate him and i’m not anti-steve, i’ve just never enjoyed his rather inconsistent character and self-righteousness. it felt like we were FINALLY getting a steve i could get behind in this. a steve that swears like he should. a steve who still puts on a brave face for the public but behind closed doors with friends he’s miserable and broken like the rest of them and SHOWS it to them. a steve who realizes he is stuck in the past and just can’t seem to move forward. a steve who i can finally see the culmination of EVERYTHING he’s been through resting on his shoulders and eating him alive inside. finally we were getting a properly layered steve rogers. and then tony came back and that all fell apart. we didn’t get the apology steve owed him (and tbh tony owed him one too but we’ll get to that), we didn’t get a remorseful steve. he didn’t even address the goddamn issue. he went straight back to his bullshit. admittedly he was a better listener this time around and a far better team player overall. it wasn’t a total loss. but. BUT. his ending? no. hell fucking no. i’m happy he and peggy got their life, but it still shouldn’t have happened. how fucking selfish. how fucking backwards of his character. i get he didn’t have a choice in being brought back into the present and that is unfair and sucks for him, but what fucking right did he have to mess with a timeline like that? what right did he have to just decide without telling anyone he was done and giving up? why did he get the fucking happy ending???? steve rogers who looked tony in the eyes and said he wasn’t the kind of man to lay on the wire for someone copped out. steve rogers who knows of all the social progress we’ve made decides to go back to a time where he would be forced to accept segregation and extreme gender inequality and rampant, blatant, gross racism of all sorts oh and more war and alkjdalksdhkas NO plus they broke their own time travel rules so like whatever i guess right?? it’s okay if steeb gets his stupid happy ending right? god is it SO MUCH TO ASK FOR JUST ONCE TO HAVE A GOOD CHARACTERIZATION OFCAP???? it’s not your fault cevans honey you’re doing amazing your directors just have no fucking idea

tony

frankly this has been amongst rdj’s best performances of tony. i’m still partial to a lot of his acting in the iron man movies BUT this was FANTASTIC. him finally being allowed to absolutely go off on steve was fucking delicious and everything i was waiting for. let it all out tony baby. buuuuut we should have also had something more. i know my fellow tony stans typically don’t believe it but tony was wrong in civil war too. surprise they both fucking were. ANYWAY. i was waiting for an honest apology between them both. after everything they just went through, NONE of the petty bullshit they went through before matters at all. and yet the closest thing we get is tony just being like “turns out i don’t like to hold grudges” or what the fuck ever. why is it so hard just to make one of them say i’m sorry, the other say i’m sorry, admit it was a bunch of BULLSHIT hug it out and then go forward???? ugh. their choice to make tony suddenly care about his dad and be happy to see him???? disgusting. they made it canon that howard was an abuser, neglectful, cold, and hateful. it’s been a BIG DEAL how tony has struggled with the relationship to his dad because of how shitty the man was to him. and then they do tHAT? fuuuuCK that!!!! i’m not saying tony isn’t allowed to forgive howard. thats fine and expected tbh. but they pushed it way too far. the tony stark we’ve known for the last decade would never get all giddy and happy to see him and hug him and fucking thank him??? what the fuckk?? god that was gross. you know what we should have gotten? what tony deserved more than howard fucking stark? MARIA STARK!! and then, of course, my main issue. they fucking killed him. which only tells us, the audience and fans that no matter what you suffer and sacrifice that your only way to redemption is death. jesus fucking christ i am SO angry over this. they killed the two who suffered the fucking most. the two who every single goddamn day worked on being a better person. nat and tony both deserved so much better than waht they got. how the fuck did it make sense to kill tony who now has a fucking CHILD, who still has a future, who FINALLY FOR ONCE IN HIS FUCKING LIFE FOUND A SHRED OF PEACE????? and then let steve just go selfishly galavant through time as he pleases to have the cute happy ending? FUCK that ending. fuck it right up the ass with a huge unlubed cock. steve should have been the one to use the gauntlet. period. he should have been the one to die like that. i would have still fucking cried but you know what?? that would be the most cap thing ever. i wanted a mirror of pre-serum steve jumping on that grenade, but this time grabbing the gauntlet and not hesitating for a split second to snap. but no. they killed tony who left behind a wife who DESERVED MORE THAN HAVING THE MAN SHES LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND MARRIED AND HAS A CHILD WITH RIPPED AWAY FROM HER!!! tony who left behind a daughter too young to really comprehend yet why her daddy isn’t going to be coming back. fuck you russos. the injustice of it is astounding. i’m never going to get over it. you know how they could have killed tony? if they really felt like they needed to? have him grow old and die naturally of old age with pepper in their cute little lakeside house after watching morgan grow into such a strong and brilliant person. but oh. they gave that to steve. right.

stephen

i’ll never complain about having more stephen content but uhhhh i’m gonna complain that we didn’t get more than what we got cause after sitting in the soulworld for five fucking years you canNOT tell me he didn’t get even stronger with time to practice and meditate and work through every iota of information of mystical shit in his head. and yet they sidelined him??? after we’ve SEEN what he’s capable of in IW? just gonna put him on flood control???? something that any of those goddamn sorcerers could have done while he helps wipe the floor with thanos or any of the thousands of enemies? fuuuuuuuuuck that. can you fucking imagine how quickly thanos would have been taken out if it were wanda, carol, and stephen all three against him? jesus. he’s literally amongst the most powerful people but nah, just have him stand over there.

the gay russo

FUCK you for that. i am LIVID about it. yall can’t fucking make valkyrie bi???? or carol????? yall can’t GET AN ACTUAL GAY ACTOR? “ We felt it was important that one of us play him, to ensure the integrity and show it is so important to the filmmakers that one of us is representing that. “ WHAT????????? are you fucking telling me a WOC WHO IS OUT AS BISEXUAL AND WANTS HER CHARACTER TO BE BISEXUAL COULDNT ENSURE THE INTEGRITY OF AN LGBT CHARACTER???????????????? “ It is a perfect time, because one of the things that is compelling about the Marvel Universe moving forward is its focus on diversity.” SEE PREVIOUS COMMENT????? oh my god fuck them forever.

lets make rules for our time travel then break them immediately

idek whats going on in the timeline anymore. they utterly fucked up and BROKE the timeline of 2012 avengers after letting loki get away with the tesseract. which should have cascaded into their future but, well, it didn’t. so i GUESS now we’re just pretending that made a new timeline which makes no goddamn sense but whatever i guess. steve going back to completely fuck with his timeline, or a timeline at least, and having no consequences in the future besides being old. okay. sure??? we can do all that but we can’t fucking get natasha back. right. cool. okay.

anyway i’m sure theres more bugging me but these are the things bothering me most.

and frankly i don’t care if anyone disagrees i’m not arguing or debating any of this.

#endgame

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planetsam · 5 years

Text

The bad dreams are not new.

Remembering them is.

She usually pushes past them and focuses on survival. But sometimes they win and she hates that. She wakes up violently with her heart pounding and her body soaked for the third time in a week. She refuses to lay in her own sweat and actually has to do her laundry. While her sheets are in the machine she decides she can’t sit in her room and pads into the kitchen for a snack. She’s expecting to see Hamish there. And Jack’s not that much of a surprise. The wildcard is Randall. Her stomach flops as she hesitates in the doorway, loathing the feeling of being an outsider in her own damn house. All six of their eyes swing to her. Something snaps in Randall and he crosses to her in a few quick strides. She stands her ground as he comes up to her toes.

“It was just a dream,” she says. His eyes rove over her. She really doesn’t like it. “Randall,” she snaps his name, “it was just a dream. What’s wrong with you?”

He’s starting to freak her out so she puts the back of her hand to his forehead. It’s hot. Really hot. Worse, he pushes up into the touch and his eyes close. Over his shoulder she glares at Jack and Hamish. One of them has to be better at this than she is. Randall breaths audibly. She loses her glare to look at him as he winces and then opens his eyes. They’re less disoriented but he still doesn’t look well. She drops her hand, stopping short of wringing them and she can feel the awkwardness slam into both of them.

“Sorry,” he says, “that nightmare, man that was a rough one,” he looks back at Jack and Hamish and squares his shoulders, “sorry for freaking you out. I’m going back to bed now. See you in the morning!”

He turns and retreats, leaving her standing in the doorway. She looks at her pack mates and Jack has his face in his hands. Hamish hisses her name and jerks his head towards the stairs. Lilith knows he’s right but she definitely isn’t the person to offer someone comfort. Hamish glares and she returns the look, though she knows he’s right. She can’t go up there and pretend to be all soft and cuddly though. Randall’s the one who makes her feel better. Not the other way around. She marches up the stairs, knocks twice on the door and opens it anyway when there’s no answer. Randall will just bullshit anyway.

He spends most nights on campus which is a good thing because his room is completely trashed. Not in a way that they would hear it, but in a way where everything’s bent or twisted or cracked. It’s brute strength, not like something he’s done in a panic. He’s in the corner in his closet. Or half in it anyway. The door is off the frame and propped against the wall. Deep claw marks are across it. But she focuses on him. He’s hunched over, his head between his knees and he’s breathing hard. Its the best position for this. Worse she can see his prep book. Amidst his careful highlights there’s a slash of orange going down it. He doesn’t look up at her but she sees his shoulders stiffen and his breathing hitches. He winces when she closes the door. She walks over to the book and picks it up, settling herself against the wall perpendicular to him.

“The most widely used differential stain for bacteria is?”

“Gram stain,” he answers.

”A colony of smooth strain bacteria is grown on a culture containing an experimental drug that cleaves nucleic acid base sequences wherever adenine is paired with ura—“ she frowns at the word, “uracil?” She nudges his shoulder with hers. He jerks up and swipes his cheeks, looking at the book.

“Yeah, uracil,” he confirms. She grabs the book back before he can finish reading the question, “it’s B,” he says.

She rolls her eyes and turns the page. Randall’s out of his ball. Slowly he shifts into a cross legged position. He leans over her, taller even when they’re sitting. She opens her mouth to tell him not to read over her shoulder but his chin just settles against her shoulder. He exhales slowly, taking those deep breaths like before. She holds herself still because if this is helping maybe she can do it, even though she hates how passive it makes her.

“Is having everything jumbled a part of it?” He asks. Heat floods her face. She still feels weird about the Order thing. Weird and guilty and angry. Randall’s brows knit together. “I can’t focus.”

“I think thats because you were tortured,” she says. He sighs like that makes sense.

“You got tortured,” he points out.

“I have experience with the Order,” she says, “for all the good that did,” he goes to move and she clamps her hand on his, “can we not make this about me? This is about you,” she says. She glances at his expression, “are you pouting?”

“No,” he scoffs, sitting up, his lips quirking,“I don’t pout.”

“It looked like you were,” she snaps, then remembers she’s supposed to be focusing on him. She can’t bring herself to apologize though and just looks down at the book in her lap. The medical jargon is annoying, between the wolf healing and the potions she remembers, it seems like such a contradiction. While she’s glaring Randall gets up and settles in front of her. She knows if he asks she’ll tell him about her order time. She realizes neither of them fully enjoy talking about themselves. Timber doesn’t support the instinct she has to run which means it’s some coward part she wishes didn’t exist. Marking the page she sets the book down. “What?”

“I got stuck in a well as a kid.”

Her eyebrows shoot up because that is not what she was expecting.

“Total accident, i thought something shiny was in the bottom and leaned too far over. I fell in. I was cold and scared. When i got out, there were so many people. I felt helpless,” he looks thoughtfully down, “the paramedics made me laugh. And they made me feel better. It’s why i want to be a doctor,” he scratches his neck, “it’s also why i’m not great with being trapped in spaces i can’t get out of,” he gestures around at the twisted furniture.

“Of course you figured out the problem,” she says, rolling her eyes. He offers a shy smile. “You’re an idiot.” He frowns, “you shouldn’t be figuring all this out on your own. Thats what i—we’re here for,” she glares as his gaze softens. “I’m not a mind reader,” she snaps.

“I never asked you to be,” he says.

“Well you should,” she lashes back, getting to her feet, “you always know when i’m hurting. I didn’t know you were in here making modern art,” he opens his mouth, “i know that’s the point!” She snaps before he can say it, “i’m not the idiot here.”

She grabs the nearest thing and twists it back. She can do that at the very least. Randall gets up and she know she’s played into his hand. They’re not focusing on him like she knows they have to. She’s not a coward. She just wants to be really clear that she is not cut out for this. He leans against the desk as she twists his lamp back.

“I’m not good at this,” she says flat out.

“What? Being psychic?”

“Comforting people,” she says, “i used to be. Before—“ she cuts off. The Order stabbed her in the back. She’s just opening herself up to another attack doing this. “I’m not. I don’t want to be.”

“I don’t want that,” Randall says, “look at all this. I didn’t want you to know. I don’t want you to coddle me because of what happened. I know how to calm myself down.” He picks up the book, “When i was in that well i recited every color i knew. I like facts.”

“Nerd,” she mutters, even though he has a point.

“Super nerd,” Randall says, “people aren’t going to believe someone as cool as you would like me,” he says. She rolls her eyes. “Quiz me?”

She rolls her eyes and takes the book. He sits in front and one of her feet lands on his shoulder. She can feel the faint ridge of his scar. She presses into it with the ball of her foot and he cranes his neck to give her better access.

“Idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis is a disease in which scar tissue forms in the alveolar walls,” she begins, watching his reaction, “Which of the following findings would likely be detected through spirometry in a patient with IPF?” She gives the choices.

“B,” he says, rolling his neck as she skates her foot up it.

“Is your neck sore?” She asks.

“Kind of?” He says, “it’s itchy. I don’t think Grey liked the surgery.”

“Or the twisting,” she supplies.

“That too,” he says, “next—“ she digs her foot in harder and his head flops forward with almost a groan, “jesus, Lil.”

They’re all good with their feet. Shoes are the most expensive to replace so it’s not unusual for those to be the things they don’t ruin. She’s flung more sneakers over phone lines than she ever wants to admit before taking off barefoot. She refuses to flat out rub his back though. She’s not that kind of girlfriend. She does dig into his other shoulder with her other foot as she leafs through the pages of his book for more questions.

“If the goal of the health communication is to have influence on individuals, families, neighborhoods, medical and social service organizations, and ultimately public health policy, they are adhering to what?”

“E-ecological theory,” he says, shuddering as she digs into both sides of his neck at the same time.

Maybe she can be a power drunk girlfriend.

“A ball starting at rest accelerates at a constant rate for 5 seconds, ultimately reaching a velocity of 200 m/s. What is the distance traveled by the ball over the time interval?”

He doesn’t respond immediately and she pauses, tapping the side of his neck with her foot.

“What?”

“Focus,” she scolds.

“500m,” he says. She digs her foot in again and he makes a wordless sound.

“You don’t seem jumbled up to me,” she says, stilling her feet on his neck. He twists and she cocks her head to the side, waiting to see what he’s going to do, “everything’s right so far.”

His hand wraps around her foot and he gets to his feet, dragging his long fingers up her leg. Just standing up reminds her how much he has on her height wise. But when he stands up he’s graceful about it in a way that makes her mouth go dry. He trails his fingers up her leg until he’s standing in front of her. She’s quizzed him before but it doesn’t end in anything resembling this. He slides his hand off her leg and braces himself on the desk, bracketing her in his arms. The only places they come close to touching are where her legs land on either side of his hips. Randall usually catches her gaze and smiles. This time it takes much, much longer than she thought for his lips to curve up.

“Thanks Lil,” he says.

He’s close enough for her to push up and kiss him. She’s not gentle. The opposite of it but she kisses him slowly and deliberately. Like she can ground him back here just with her mouth. It’s a stupid thought, she knows that, but it doesn’t stop her from trying. Every time he kisses her she finds she likes it more, and that in itself is kind of terrifying for someone so used to having things taken away. She pulls back and opens her eyes, taking in the dark circles that stand out under his pale skin. It takes him a moment longer to open his eyes. He ducks his head forward and presses their foreheads together. She doesn’t like putting her feelings into anything, but especially not into words. The quiet between them though speaks volumes. She kisses the corner of his mouth and slides his book to the side before sliding forward. She means to get to her feet but his hands catch her and she winds up with her legs around his waist. She regards him for a moment.

“It’s not that impressive,” she says, looping her arms around his shoulders, “my room,” she says, nodding her head to the door.

“You sure?” He asks.

“I’m not sleeping on your gross floor,” she tells him, “you remember how to get there?”

“Your room it is,” he says and carries her around the corner to her room. When he lays her on the bed she tightens her legs around him and pulls him with her, popping up only long enough to fling the sheets over them, “my floor’s not gross,” he says.

”Really, Randall?” She sighs, “you’re in your girlfriend’s bed and you want to tell me how not gross your floor is?”

“Well I do the cleaning—“ he stops, “did you say girlfriend?”

“No,” she says rolling on her side, “clean your ears out.”

He must really be exhausted because it takes him a moment to roll over and wrap his arms around her. She’s willing to admit his floor isn’t gross but she’d rather sleep in a bed. But she knows that’s not the reason for the smile she doesn’t even have to look at to be aware of. He’s stupid transparent sometimes. It might not be the worst thing in the world. He doesn’t thank her again, which she’s glad about. The last thing she wants is for this to be a thing.

“Also don’t become an artist,” she adds.

“Are starving artists not your thing?” He asks with a teasing grin.

“No,” she says and can’t quite resist shifting back against him before looking back at him, “but doctors might be.”

#randall carpio #lilith bathory #randall x lilith #lilith x randall #theorder #hamish duke #jack morton

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theskyexists · 5 years

Text

she-ra season 3

i LOVE scorpia

this show has a bit of tonal issue in my opinion. they keep going back to a very teen-parent relationship between the trio and mum - when there’s a terrible war on.

people get killed but generally it really does just feel presented like a game or a fight about curfew and sometimes thats a bit jarring. (or is it strange to expect the graveness of situations to bring out a quality of sincerity even during puberty?)

i don’t really understand why Adora would jump to the conclusion that Shadoweaver showing up means she’s changed

but Adora, you ARE stupid. lol

but the rest is too. ‘don’t listen to her Adora’ why not? is it so terrible to be from another world? the stakes are quite murky

Entrapta’s comments really go to show how shit of a leader Hordak really is. HOw the hell did he manage to create this empire when he’s so damn incompetent? OOOHHHHHH CATRA SAID IT!!! just after i wrote that sentence she SAID IT

Hordak is an idiotic beserker

so why didn’t they take their unicorn flying steed?

‘well yeah - but you said that while saving us - so - you can’t be all bad. what do ya say’

i love the voice actor for Adora lolololol. she is clearly having SO much fun.

and Adora has a small crush on Huntara and absolutely ruins her chances with the barmaid by popping up. totally did not expect that voice for Huntara tho

entraptak is.....real. wtf. it’s.....cute. Hordak is just trying to be Prime. Failing at it miserably, lashing out. jfc it’s an endless cycle isn’t it.

‘know about she-ra? ahahahaha! I AM she-ra!’ THAT WAS BADASS. i love it when Adora is being rowdy and cocky

oh wow reversed chin-tilt with sword, and then lifting her head and soulful look? She-Ra really has chemistry with ALL the Princesses.

I LOVE scorpia. i loved that moment when Catra pushed her away nobly - i love how Catra has plausible deniability to herself. Love how the narrative reinforces that Catra is literally the most competent person around etc. (if they could get her for the Rebellion it would be over and out but hey)

surely Mara cut Aetheria off to save it from Hord-Prime’s war? Light-Hope wanted She-Ra to join the other She-Ra’s (’this world’s she-ra’) in the battle but she decided to hide the world and people she loved, breaking most of the magic-tech system. What I don’t understand is - the First Ones lived on Aetheria, but the people that populate it now are a different quality of organics, they can only survive in a specific atmosphere. The princesses are living components in the balancing of the tech-magic system...what are the people of the world? We don’t realise this most of the time, but all of them except for princesses, are animal-humanoids (and...kyle.....). What does this mean? Did the animal life unintentionally evolve? Were they an underclass - simply part of the system? (seems too edgy for this show).

‘why was i taken from my family? why was i forced to become a soldier?’ this line was GOOD

yesss!!! Mara! i love her already.

Scorpia is blushing lol. I am also liking Catra being completely off her shits careless and powerful.

Catra and Scorpia bonding yesssss!!!

ohhhhhHHH the magic of the planet is something of Aetheria itself! the tech is just latched on??? First Ones were colonisers (’settlers’)! but AETHERIA is what’s dangerous to the rest of the universe!!! (because it can be used as a weapon??) probably Aetheria would die as a result?

‘maybe it’s been a week, maybe it’s been thousands of years’ that is so fuckin sad

Catra being so hung up on acknowledgement is her greatest tragedy.

wow Scorpia really proposed a super cool thing and it could rearrange Catra’s WORLD

I want this show to stop repeating the same cycle after this last one time of Catra going: WAAAAHHH Adora made my life so hard now im going to do something inadvisable that might destroy us all as payback

Adora’s greatest tragedy is that she’s so self-centred that she doesn’t understand Catra at all.

if they have Angella and Glimmer fight and then have her mum die before they’ve made up i’ll be very upset (i’m not really loving Glimmer and Bow in this so far - they’re toeing the edge of annoying). and the fights about having to have plans and fighting or not fighting due to the fear of losing people - that’s always been uhhhh - well they always got away safe with shit plans and i just really don’t think that they’re meshing the commander-queen and daughter-mother stuff well. because there’s literally NO ONE ELSE in charge. there’s some magical queen and some villagers and a barely present guard. where’s the court, the advisors, anybody??

it would be silly to trust Shadoweaver (she did mercilessly torture you - no psychological effects from that stupidly enough), but i am hard-pressed to think of a reason she’d betray them.

still don’t understand how Frosta went from icy, frosty queen to idk a kid. i mean she can be both, but it was weird to see no uhhhh connection at all

I think this show is about how every single character is held back by their inability to grow and grow closer to others. Glimmer has disobeyed Angella SO often, why is she surprised at all? Why can’t she be honest and say: I am afraid! I am afraid I will lose you! I am afraid of that pain and I want you to take the risks seriously, to plan for them. I want to protect you!

That Glimmer would work with her torturer is of course a ridiculous notion. that is to say - if that kind of thing was properly given weight.

why fight Catra??? Why not just teleport to Hordak’s inner sanctum?? it’s stupid. why waste all the damn power

glad entrapta finally heard from Adora that she didn’t mean to leave her behind though.

‘you can’t fight them they’re too strong!’ ?? Glimmer just got sucked dry tho? like what. the way this show always postpones its fights on shitty pretexts is ....acceptable but pretty roll-eye-y

Catra burning all her bridges.

“there’s no choice” fucking bullshit, just teleport lol.

lol Catra feeds the anti-princess propaganda right back to Hordak. that’s poetic but jfc i really hope next season is going to be a little less *shuffles deck, cards end up in a million different hands, literally all cards feel betrayed*

so catra is willing to pull the annihilation switch on the universe just to one-up Adora just this once LOLLLL. if only somebody hadn’t ingrained a deeply seated inferiority complex in this cat

anyway i want her to feel the consequences of all that for a change

that animation on everything going VWWWWWWOOOOOOMM darkness was awesome

OHHHH the next episode has an awesome premise.

can i just say that i LOVE this episode. it’s so damn creepy and cool and kind of nostalgic. and i LOVE that it’s Scorpia and Adora who are remembering things - the ones closest to Catra. AND THEN THEY BOND!!!! and hold hands!!!!

reliving the betrayals. love the way the memories hit people, the way Catra goes from her old self, their playfulness, their casual violence ratcheting up at each other because that’s how they’ve been trained - to defend themselves, and then - the true Catra, the hysteria, gone so far off the deep-end. “i’d rather let the whole world be destroyed than let you win.” geeze that’s rooted deep.

angella and mica are so cuteeee. but angella really hasn’t changed has she? no tolerance for difficulty. she honestly is a bit of a shit queen. thought that was bc of grief and trauma but eh

he puts a truth spell on her but then he doesn’t believe her? does he think she’s crazy?

don’t think i’ve ever shipped something as hard in this show as Mica/Angella. i just LOVE royal woman x good man apparently. I LOVE IT SO MUCH. god why didn’t she kiss him on the lips>????

oh SHIT, MARA IS STILL TRAPPED INSIDE THE PORTAL LIKE ENTRAPTA SAID - THAT’S WHY SHE SAID: HAS IT BEEN A DAY OR THOUSANDS OF YEARS?

so...is there a reason that Angella is not faded?

wow that speech about bravery and cowardice. she truly. TRULY, ok they made something of her. I HATE losing Angella because the voice acting is INCREDIBLE. but that was actually an amazing end. (and she got to see Mica for the last time, at least)

ok so if i lost my mum forever i would be SCREAMING in pain but i guess these itsy bitsy tears from Glimmer will do?

that look of pure determination and anger and mercilessness in Adora’s eyes at Catra? nice. wish Catra didn’t go into a sulk at it but kept her goddamn FEAR (Adora was totally right, she vanquished another demon from her past - everything Catra did, she CHOSE to do. and her keeping on blaming others is simply - cowardice)

#anyway #that was a very good season #but i am not sure about this glimmer and angella thing #it still feels totally fuckin #weird #even more so now #kdslabf #sdjabj #sdjakfj #my stuff #she ra #vidi

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