#and that’s not a pretentious comment that’s just me NOT HAVING A LIFE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

setsugekka · 1 year

Text

❥déjà rêvé (m)

↳ When your best friend marries her stuffy, stuck-up, long-time boyfriend, you swallow your feelings and put your reservations aside to support her...

...and when your erotic imagination takes hold of you one night in relation to him, you’re thankful for the fact that your friend is able to laugh it off.

Unfortunately, you’re not able to let it go as easily.

kim doyoung x fem!reader — enemies to lovers, friends with benefits, gratuitous sexual content, porn with plot [17.7k wc] cws: open relationship, alcohol consumption, social smoking. sexual content: bdsm-heavy!! dominant doyoung, submissive reader, unprotected penetrative sex (v+a), oral sex (m+f), gratuitous dirty talk/degradation/humiliation, cum play/facials/wet&messy, deep throating, safe word usage, ravishment play, infidelity play, spit play, doyoung has a big dick and fucks like a pornstar.

Seven years.

Watching as your best friend now sat in glee as hired hair and makeup help dart around her to make sure that every strand, every eyelash be perfectly in place for her big day, you realize that now, after so long, it's difficult to even really recall the first few times that she started bringing him around. You remember the first night she mentioned him — a careful slide of a photo of him into the group chat, followed by the usual 'he looks better in person' commentary — although hilariously unnecessary given that the man stunning even back then.

You did, however, wish that his looks had translated more into his personality.

Unfortunately, it was no mystery the way that you and Doyoung did not get on. Never culminating into blow-out fights, or a need to pick sides, or even the ruining of an evening or vacation: But it was there. Petty jabs and comments slung about, backhanded slips of the tongue coming from either side at a moments notice — something that, earlier on, came to be of much contention between you, Mina, and her now husband-to-be. Over time, however, with the relationship growing, evolving, and coming to terms with the fact that this man most likely to remain in your life for as long as Mina would be, you decide on doing the only thing that a good, supportive, friend can do in such circumstances.

After all, you weren't the one marrying him, and thank fuck for that.

"How do I look?"

Nearly tear-filled eyes looking up at you through the reflection of the mirror as you stand behind your best friend of a decade and more, you offer a tight-lipped smile back to her — in an effort to keep it together, really, you'd rather not cry your makeup off, as well.

"You look amazing, he's lucky," you begin genuinely before switching to a more playful tone. "And he better remember that, because I'll be watching."

With a sway of her hand, Mina shoos you away equally playfully and laughing through the fact that she was surely just about to start crying. "This long and you guys are still like this, are you ever going to get over it?"

"Is he ever going to stop being a pretentious douche? Because all signs point to 'no.'"

Cocking her head as if to say 'give me a break,' your bestie sighs audibly at the much anticipated response from you in regards to the matter.

"He's a good man."

You nod. "I know. He's good to you and, well — good enough to me, so I'll allow it, I suppose."

Would you choose to spend time with Doyoung if not for Mina; if not for the fact that he be obviously and irrevocably in love with her and treat her as such every moment of everyday? No.

But the rest of it sort of makes up for that fact.

One of the perks of having Kim Doyoung around is the money.

Of course, Mina doing well enough for herself that she need not rest on the laurels of a man, but marrying this one be far from a bad choice as far as financials go. A hard worker all through high school and college and landing a fancy, high-paying career gig straight out — only a few weeks after the wedding, the two bought a house together — an expensive, modern home a little bit on the outskirts of the city but not too far away as to make it inconvenient, glass paneling, black marble, and perfectly shined platinum stainless steel; the first time entering it, you can't help but think how it's precisely what one would expect upon being informed of the kind of money and stature that Doyoung has.

'New money,' they call it, and with it comes a certain expectation of being a prick, apparently.

The positives of all of this, of course, include that the man work long hours, and thus, you're free to be over without having to see much of him.

And thank God for that.

"Drink?"

Already reaching up and into one of the white and glass cupboards just above as she calls out the question, you answer back a simple "sure" as she continues bringing down two, large, red wine glasses that you're almost certain cost far more than any reasonable person would pay for cups.

"Doie brought these back from Portugal the last time he went on business, apparently they're one of a kind, handmade."

"I swear to God every time you call him that I get the most intense case of sudden indigestion. No relation, though. I'm sure."

The same playfully annoyed cock of her head that you're used to seeing every time the man comes up into conversation, the both of you chuckle as she sets two glasses down onto perfectly shined marble countertops in front of you.

"There's like, thirty bottles of wine down here and I don't know what's fancy or not," Mina begins, already squatting down in front of the wine storage just beneath (and of course, something that Doyoung personally had built into the kitchen during renovations). Popping back up and grabbing her phone from across the shining table, "Let me ask him."

Only a few seconds of the phone ringing, the line is answered and you hear that all too familiar and also irritating voice come through. "On a work call, what's up, babe?"

You roll your eyes, it's nearly automatic. Mina slaps the marble in front of you like she's trying to dissuade a cat from something.

"We want to open a bottle of wine but I don't know what we can and can't have, so give me a name of something, quick."

"You can have anything you want," The man on the other end coos back. You sort of wish this conversation wasn't happening on speaker phone.

Rolling her eyes, Mina chuckles back at him. "You said some of these bottles are like, three hundred dollars."

"And? Let me know how it is, gotta-go-love-you-bye—" Doyoung sing-song's into the phone before cutting the line completely. You watch the way a grin takes your best friends face at the short but sweet conversation that has only just transpired and it reminds you that all things considered, and all personal feelings about the man aside, they're absolutely, remarkably in love with one another.

As if momentarily forgetting the fact that you're even there, in favor of daydreaming about her husband, Mina finally comes back down to the expensive kitchen with you. "He's so annoying."

"Yeah, I can tell that's totally how you feel about him right now," You respond with obvious sarcasm.

About an hour and a half later and two glasses of whatever accidentally expensive wine your friend has chosen, you're a little disappointed when you hear the familiar voice of The Husband coming down the stairs and slowly making his way into the kitchen.

Of course, and again: You don't hate him, but he always has some shit to say.

Finishing up a work call as he comes around the corner — gray sweatpants and a black, oversized sweatshirt with hair only a tiny bit disheveled and probably due to it being the end of the night for him finally, you watch intently as he leans against the large, stainless steel refrigerator — briefly making eye contact with you as he says goodbye to whatever late night client happens to be on the other end of the line.

With a heavy sigh, Doyoung outstretches his arms. "Finally, freedom."

"Until tomorrow—" Mina adds with a quick peck to his cheek as she hands him a glass of wine as well. The reminder unfortunate, wiping any joy from the mans features in an instant. "—Yes, until tomorrow."

Then, his eyes catch towards you. Bringing the rim of the glass to his lips, the words slip out just before he takes a sip. "And what about you? Do you work?"

Always something to say.

"I do!" You quickly quip back. "I work normal people hours, like most people do."

"I don't think hanging out with my wife is a job."

"Doie!" Mina huffs with a playful slap to his chest.

"I assure you, you don't have to be concerned about my working hours," you begin, taking another sip from your glass before setting it down onto the counter next to you. "At least I won't look seventy years old when I'm thirty, like some people."

"Ooh—" he plays along, eyes narrow as if you've almost got him on the losing side of the banter. "That may be true, but I'll still be rich, and I'll still have a sexy wife."

"Please spare me, I choose not to acknowledge that there is any sexual relationship between the two of you at any given moment in time."

Finishing off his glass and taking a step forward to set it down next to yours, he offers you a thin-lipped grin, as if accompanying it with his sympathies. "And I'm sure that's not a result of projection, at all. Anyway, have a good night, you two, I'm off to bed."

With a quick kiss to Mina and another tip of his head towards you, the man is off and back up the stairs.

Well enough out of earshot, your eyes shoot back to your friend. "Did he just imply I'm not getting fucked?"

She shrugs. "Are you?"

Scoff falling from your lips, you press the point of your index finger out and towards your bestie. "I was just out with that guy last week, remember?"

"And how did that go?"

"It was terrible, but that's not the point—" you answer dryly, as if it be the simplest thing in the world. "—The point is, I get dick, regardless of how questionable the quality may be."

Chuckling, Mina comes around to pick up the glasses and set them next to the sink. "I'll be sure to let him know, then."

"Please don't," You groan in response.

Long, thin, fingers wrapped around your wrist as you're quickly shuffled down the familiar, dimly lit hallway of their shared marital home before your back suddenly finds pressure against the cool wall — legs pulled apart to make room for his hips as you feel the all too familiar burn of being pried apart with not enough prep for such endeavors — enveloped suddenly by broad shoulders and a hard chest held firm against your own as you bite back the moan that threatens to echo down and against the walls, your fingers finding purchase in the fabric of such shoulders as they dig in to match the feeling of being taken so thoughtlessly, relentlessly.

"How do I feel?"

A rhetorical question of sorts, knowing that he can hear and feel the way you fall apart beneath him already and with such little effort on his end — one hand coming up between the wall and the back of your head to curl fingers into you hair and tug roughly on the strands as you hiss into a mouth just centimeters away but not quite touching your own. "God, how long have you wanted this?"

Waking up in the morning, you don't recall many of the details — instead, living now with the irritating knowledge that you've had a sex dream about one man in particular that you wouldn't wish sex with onto your worst enemy.

Of course, it will pass — as things like this always do. It's just a dream, after all.

Right?

Wrong, regrettably.

Worse than having the dream itself, you think over the next few days, is the way that it simply won't leave you alone. Any moment of downtime in your thoughts now plagued by the memory of a certain best friends husband fucking you against the wall of their newlywed home — it's far from ideal, and for a plethora of reasons that don't necessarily need to be explained. And yet.

But, you know enough about Mina, and your friendship with her, that if you can confide in anyone about having a sex dream about their husband to get it off of your chest, it's her.

Sitting outside of a bougie cafe just down the street from Mina's work building as you wait for her to join you with legs crossed and a mimosa on the table in front of you, as you stare at the menu in an attempt to focus on what it is that you'll be ordering for lunch once your friend arrives, the words still find their way floating through your mind with no prompting, and a little bit too much ease.

"God, how long have you wanted this?"

"So long!" The familiar voice of your friend from just behind you pipes up and jars you from your thinking — and thank fuck for that, because any excuse not to be brought to that place is a good one, as far as you're concerned. "Took me so long to find parking here, I don't know why we always insist on coming to this place."

"Because it's central to both of us," you answer with a tone that says that this should be obvious. "Besides, you're always the one that wants to come here."

"What can I say, hot sandwiches here are amazing—" pausing the thought to flag down the wait staff, you place the menu down on the table and rub your eyes with the flat of your fingertips as her attention falls back to you. "—Do you know what you want to order? Wait, what's wrong with you?"

"Yes," you reply to the first question, only to hesitate on the second. "Nothing, tired. Work's been killing me."

"Aw, and Doie said that you don't work," She offers, a comforting tone that only offers the opposite with the addition of the pet name to her lover. Her husband.

"Can we not talk about that man?"

A questioning cock of her head and curiosity piqued, Mina smiles with narrowed eyes. "...Why? Did he say something else? You know, he's only joking—"

"No," you firmly cut her off with a wave of a hand as the waiter returns with a drink for her and an exasperated sigh from you. "He didn't say anything else. He's just...exhausting."

"You don't even know the half of it. I live with him," Mina cheerfully retorts as she takes her drink into hand.

No, you don't even know the half of it.

Allowing your friend to do a good bit of the rambling through lunch as you slowly make your way through your salad — you try to put it out of your mind just as much now as you have since that night — unfortunately, the very presence of the woman married to said man in question causing the thoughts to be just that much more at the forefront of your memory.

With a fork between teeth, Mina finally stills mid-sentence and glares at you through perfectly made up, long, eyelashes. "Alright, what the hell is up with you today?"

Yes, you were busted, but if you were honest, you had every intention of telling her about it, anyway.

With a groan and a roll of your eyes, you finish chewing through your lettuce before setting your own utensils down at the edge of the plate and dramatically falling back into your chair — a reluctant acceptance of defeat at the hands of your best friend. All perfectly pressed business suit and perfectly structured black hair that her ever so doting husband no doubt pays for to have her take care of.

This is so annoying.

"Well!?"

"Okay, okay, don't rush me, geez—" you cut her off with palms in the air. Allowing silence to once again fall between you — nothing more than the busy bustling of the street nearby and the other patrons of the restaurant around you — you sniffle sharply, now having accepted that this is a conversation that's definitely going to happen.

Her being upset, or angry, not something you're concerned about — rather, just the humiliation of having to admit it (and the way that it's lived in your mind ever since.)

"Have you ever — had a dream about someone else's partner?"

Visibly taken aback, and physically so as Mina jolts into her chair at the question, a chuckle falls from her lips as she just as quickly takes a sip from her tall glass again. "Are you kidding? I've banged Karina's man like, three times unconsciously."

The fast and honest reply has you nearly choking on the sip of drink you had mirrored her in taking.

"It's just a dream, it's not like we have any control over it. Why? Whose man dug you out?"

Silence.

Mina's eyes glued to your face as you bring your glass up to your lips again and pull your own line of vision as far from hers as you can manage without actually turning physically — you hate the way you can literally see as the knowledge finally dawns on her with how her teeth quickly begin to peer through the grin that plasters across her face.

"Stop—" she first says.

"Don't—" you respond just as quickly.

"—No way." She finishes with a gasp.

You immediately plant your face into the flat of your palms with an affirming groan.

And thus, your best friend does what anyone would do upon finding out that her friend had a sex dream about her husband: Let out the most annoying, boisterous witch-cackle that a single woman could possibly muster.

When her laughter finally dies down enough to manage in some breaths for an attempt at speaking, Mina takes another sip of her drink through tight lips that are quite evidently still trying to pull back the smile that she wants so badly to let pull across her features. "Well," she quietly begins. "How was it?"

"Really?"

"Just curious how fantasy matches up with reality, that's all."

Rolling your eyes at her curiosity, you can't help but make an attempt to pull the embarrassment from you, and onto the man in question. "I'm sure I was doing him the favor. It wasn't thirty seconds of missionary while he told me about finances so he should be thankful for that much."

Snorting through her nose, Mina's eyes drop down to her mostly-eaten sandwich before her. "Is that what you think it's like?"

"I simply do not think about it at all, actually."

"Evidently, that's not the case."

With more silence coming between the two of you, now Mina is the one that cuts through it with an all too pointed, proverbial knife.

"Do you want to fuck him?"

Sputtering through more salad as the words enter your line of hearing, before you have a chance to answer, Mina amends the statement — as if she can read your mind. "Before you say 'no,' really think about it."

And so, you do. Quietly mulling over all of the possibilities, the thoughts that this bring to your mind — not limited to and especially the recollection of the dream — more than anything, it's a reminder that you don't actually even really like this man. You don't enjoy his company, and you don't particularly enjoy conversing with him. The purpose that Doyoung serve in your life be uniquely in relation to him being the perfect, most amazing husband to Mina.

And how this might be precisely how you ended up here to begin with.

But what this really brings to question is one very pointed, very particular thing:

"A-are you asking me if I want to have sex with your husband...with intention of granting me permission to do so?"

The woman across from you shrugs, calling the wait staff over again for another drink. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, one thing at a time. So, do you?"

Feeling a bit like a taboo, kinky carrot being dangled in front of your face — you know Mina well enough to know that she wouldn't be asking this in an attempt to set you up — to get upset with you, to drive a wedge between your friendship.

If she's asking, it's because she's genuinely curious, and has other such genuine intentions, as well.

Clearing your throat and blinking away the awkwardness in the fact that you're really about to answer this honestly: You could lie — pretend that it hasn't been stuck on your mind ever since, pretend that you haven't been fantasizing about him, and in a particularly low moment, cumming to the thought of him — but really, what good will that do you, now?

In fact, even just the conversation now bringing back the dull ache between your legs. Humiliating the power the subconscious can have over us.

"I mean," you quietly start with a shaky, unsure tone. "Yeah. Yes, I guess."

"I know, he's sexy, right? You wouldn't expect it but there's something about him—"

Your best friend regrettably far too accepting of this conversation topic.

"Look, it's not a big deal, I'm not like — dying for it," you cut her off suddenly, mostly in an attempt to deter the conversation from any more detail about that something about the man. "It's just like...in theory, you know, something about that angry, 'I don't like you, you don't like me' type of arrangement makes for a good fantasy but of course, it's just that."

"Right," she snorts again and into the glass pressed to her mouth. "Just that."

Ten minutes later and with the check for lunch paid by the credit card of a particular husband, with Mina hurrying to gather her things on account of being late back to work — she hugs you quickly with one arm slung around you before rushing off the other way — but not before turning just as suddenly and whispering a little too loudly for your comfort given the people around.

"Look, obviously I can't make him fuck you, but I'll run it by him. I'll let you know. Cheers, babe!"

Great.

"Babe, come to bed!"

Tone whiny and pleading as she kicks her feet from beneath the covers of their shared, King sized bed, Mina groans into the pillow expectantly in anticipation of her husband joining her for a cuddle and a conversation.

Although, mostly the conversation, this time.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Doyoung chimes back from their white and gold accented bedroom, toothbrush shoved into his mouth as he peeks his head out through the doorway just before spitting into the sink. "Pushy, aren't you?"

"One of the many things you love about me."

As he saunters towards the side of the bed, all too aware of his surroundings and even more than that, the mischievous grin pulled across the lips of his beloved wife — eyes narrowing with suspicion, he slows his movements just ever so slightly before finally crawling into bed next to her and meeting beneath the sheets. "Why do I have a feeling you're not just looking to snuggle up with your wonderful husband, tonight?"

"Aw, Doie, don't be like that—" Mina whines, wrapping her arms around his and pulling her body against his as he flips through channels on the television against the wall in front of them. "—I had lunch with my bestie today."

Glancing out of his peripheral towards her, Doyoung hums inquisitively, as if unsure of what this has to do with him but anticipating that he's going to find out. "That's good. How is she?"

"She's good," every word coming out like she's singing a song — one made up of no-good and trouble — charming in her tone. "Although, she's had a lot on her mind, lately — so to say."

Pausing, the man shifts just slightly in place as he finally settles on a channel and sets the remote control down between the two of them. "And why do I have a bad feeling about what that means?"

Lips gently beginning to decorate the exposed skin of his shoulder and arm, Mina smiles into them just before the words finally leave her. "She had a dream about you."

"Okay?"

Slow on the pick-up.

This time, she delivers the information a bit more pointedly. "She had a dream about you."

"Oh," he says quietly at first, until the fact of the matter finally, truly, dawns on him. "Oh."

A squint and a frown now, Doyoung's head turns quickly towards his wife.

"And she told you this?"

Mina nods.

"You both are a little too close."

"Well?" She finally offers up the question at hand, lips still innocently peppering across her lovers skin. "What do you think?"

"Are you asking me if I want to fuck your best friend? How would this work, anyway? It's not as if we even get on all that well—"

"I think that's part of it for her."

"—Kinky minx."

Slowly pulling from Doyoung and groaning into a long stretch of her limbs as if settling in for slumber, she smiles again. "It wouldn't be the first time, anyways."

"Yeah, but never friends," he says, rubbing his palms over his face as if a little taken aback by the topic of conversation as a whole. "—I mean, I'm down, you know her better than I do — if you think she can handle it."

"We'll have the discussion later, I wanted to run it by you, first."

Reaching a hand over to his wife, Doyoung pulls her by the arm back over and against his torso with a kiss to the top of her head as she settles her face into the crook of his neck.

"My little liaison," the man chuckles into her hair lovingly. "You just wanna hear about all the dirty little details after the fact, don't you?"

Pulling back to meet eyes with him, a scrunch of her nose and a giggle gives Doyoung all of the answer he would ever really need.

"What can I say? Everyone wins."

Two glasses of wine poured and the both of you sat next to one another on the large and undoubtedly far too expensive plush couch of the living room — a certain comfort of being only in the company of your best friend — it brings you back to so many other instances like this through the years of your friendship, curled up on far less luxury items but sharing all of the intimate details of your loves and lives, as the closest of friends tend to do.

Tonight, however, would offer a bit of a different experience. You're prepared for it, suppose, as much as you possibly can be, given the circumstances at play.

"He's not home, is he?" You question suddenly, Mina tucking her legs under the rest of her with glass in hand as she situates herself to be facing you. A smile and a chuckle, she shakes her head. "No, it's just us."

Exhaling a sigh of relief at the option of being walked in on by the very topic of conversation not being on the table, you allow yourself at least a tiny bit more of comfort with the affirmation.

"You're going to have to be honest with me," Mina begins, one corner of her lips tugging upwards. "I can only relay to him what you tell me, and he's not going to freestyle it, either, so—"

You take a much larger swig from your glass than previously had, nearly finishing off the contents of it.

"—Tell me what you want."

"Another glass of wine, for starters."

Snorting, your best friend leans towards the table to grab the bottle into hand, tilting it towards your glass and filling it all over again. "You don't have to be uncomfortable, like I said, it's not really the first time we've done this."

"Yeah, news to me," you sigh with a bit of shock cutting through it. "All these years and I never knew."

Shrugging, Mina sets the bottle down again before settling into place all over. "People tend to assume monogamy among couples, we just allowed them to do so. Not as much of a stick in the mud as you thought he is, huh?"

Choosing not to acknowledge that fact, you take another sip of your wine, waiting for the topic of conversation to shift to something that is — effectively the same topic, but more in pertinence to you, specifically.

"So, tell me."

A sharp inhale, you know that you don't have to go through with this: You can just as easily call the whole thing off and pretend that none of this has ever happened — and that the both of them would happily carry on with their lifestyle all the same — but the unshakable lust for the man now deeply imbedded within you, like an itch that's otherwise impossible to scratch — an offering to have it when under most other circumstances it would have to remain as a dull, silent ache only left to you and your own devices, as it were.

A little too sweet of a deal to turn down, you find. Not God's strongest soldier, it seems.

"I don't — I don't want him to all of a sudden pretend like we're best friends and that we get along perfectly," you begin cautiously and with eyes darting up towards your friend with every passing of every word. "I want it to feel natural, to feel real, so—"

"You want him to fuck you like he hates you?"

Laid out so simply, the idea of it makes your throat dry, but you nod all the same. "Yeah, yeah I guess so."

"Let me tell you something," your friend begins as she shifts into a more comfortable position with one leg out and over the side of the couch. "What's always been a little funny to me with your preconceived notions about how Doyoung is in bed — he's actually quite...intense."

"What does that mean?"

"He likes to be in control, there's a bit of a dominant streak in him."

Hearing the words, the math starts coming together in your head about the way the man carries himself, the way he works, and just the way he is in general — you're not quite sure how the idea never dawned on you, perhaps too wrapped up in all of the ways that you find him insufferable and a bore, it only natural to assume the same of his abilities.

Before you have a moment to focus on the ache between your thighs, your friend continues on.

"Does that...sound like something that would interest you?"

Swallowing down your pride along with your arousal, you nod until the rim of your wine glass.

"Well, that's easy enough, then," Mina scoffs with a casual roll of her eyes, as if she had almost been hoping for it to be a bit more of a challenge for him to fulfill the role asked of him. "In that case, what's off limits?"

For some reason, you hadn't bothered to think that far ahead. Your friend notices as much.

"For what it's worth, there will be a safe word, so even if you agree to anything now or later or any time, really, you don't have to go through with anything if you're no longer having a good time."

Eyes widening at the concept of needing a safe word, you swallow hard. "That intense, huh?"

"It's up to you," she continues on. "It's not just for when things get wild or out of hand, hell, you can use it if you're just in the same room as him. Have you—" She pauses inquisitively, suddenly questioning whether or not this is a good idea at all. "—Done anything like this before?"

But hearing the reluctance in her tone, you nod quickly. "Yeah! Yes, not with...my best friends husband, though."

A cute grin across her face, Mina laughs with a coy flick of her wrist. "Don't get so caught up on that. He's my husband, yes, and for all intents and purposes very much still will be for the sake of the scene, but even more than that, he's here to fill a role — he knows that very well."

"Are you going to be involved?" You ask suddenly, the question only now popping into your mind. Your friend laughs.

"No, I mean, he'll tell me about it afterwards but I won't be like...planning scenes with him, or anything. Whatever he has in store for you — well, that's between the two of you, until after it happens, of course."

"Okay."

Taking a sip of her glass and glancing up at you through eyelashes, she brings the topic back around again. "So, no hard limits?"

"Piss play, shit play—" you quietly begin to list off before Mina stops you. "Okay, he's not into any of that either. I mean more along the lines of; name calling, degradation, humiliation, general rough-housing."

Even just thinking about partaking in half of those things with the man in passing sending a shiver down your spine, you shake your head. "I—I don't think so, maybe start slow, though."

"I'll let him know, again, don't be afraid to tell him to stop in the moment if he gets a little too carried away. He's a good dom."

'He's a good dom.'

What an absolutely perplexingly arousing set of words in succession.

Leaning back finally with your shoulders pressed to the couch, you exhale heavily with eyes high to the ceiling above as your friend mirrors your movement — but instead, with a bright smile pulling across her red, wine-stained lips.

"This is going to be so fun."

Part of the fun, you come to find, is the not knowing.

Even with rules, and safe words, and all of the parties involved very much having come to an understanding of the ins and outs of such an endeavor, the truth of the matter was this: You had no way of knowing when, or what, Doyoung has in store for you.

It's a little bit of risky play, too, at the core level. The fact that the two of you not be explicitly exchanging words among yourselves in order to maintain a certain sense of authenticity to the scene (far from unusual, in the kink world), but new to you, and most definitely requiring a level of trust among all people involved. Far from your favorite person, sure, but you trusted him — and that's far and away what a scenario like this require in order to make it run without a hitch.

And so the question runs constant at the forefront of your mind as you stand in front of your mirror, getting ready for the couples housewarming party: Are you going to fuck your best friends husband tonight?

Stemming from that very simple question, of course, comes a plethora of others: What should one wear? Is it too presumptuous to assume as much? What if it's just a normal evening party and you're completely out of your element in thinking he would fuck you tonight? Do you want to fuck him tonight?

Unfortunately, the answer to that one is an easy yes.

One of the rules being simple enough: The arrangement ends once you and Doyoung have penis in vagina sex — that considered to be the 'goal,' which then only begs the question of how much is the man intending to put you through before even getting to that point?

Or is he to get it done and over with as quickly as possible, instead?

Glancing into the reflection of the mirror and towards a simple, three-quarter sleeve black dress that hands down fitted to the knees, you think it sexy but not too sexy. Just sexy enough. The right amount of sexy.

Let's not appear too excited, after all.

"Darling, you made it!"

Mina's voice ringing through the kitchen in a faux-french accent as she pours wine for a couple of friends — handing you a glass, she kisses your cheek before pulling away to look you up and down. "You look ravishing, my dear."

God, you hope so.

You find, however, that now that you're here, it's a bit more awkward than anticipated. Man of the hour no where to be found just yet, but unable to stop looking over your shoulder in an attempt to locate him — you sort of hope that your friend be all too preoccupied with the other guests to catch wind of just how hungry for this you may actually be.

Side pressed against the cupboard, you feel the nudge of someone attempting to open it, and turning in an instant to move yourself from out of the way, you're not at all prepared to meet the narrow, dark eyes of the man you're meant to — whatever, with — at some point in time.

You think that your stomach falls out of your ass right then and there.

"Look who showed up! You do take your job of being my wife's friend very seriously, after all."

"Doie! Don't start, it's not even ten o-clock yet!"

It's almost bizarre to you the way that things carry on with such normalcy, given all of the ways in which the goings on between the three of you now be anything but. Reaching up and towards a bag of chips, with the mans eyes turned towards the subject, you allow yourself the greedy view of his fitted, navy blue button down tucked perfectly into black slacks, with a belt that you're sure costs more than your car payment, accenting it.

Sleeves pushed up and off of his forearms, you take in the way that the muscles and veins flex and move as he does.

Seeing Kim Doyoung in a whole new light — and more than that, you're allowed to do so.

How can a man this fucking insufferable look like this.

"I'll have you know, I can't be out late tonight," you bite back, a good effort in pretending that you hadn't just been eye-fucking him only seconds earlier. "Early morning in the office, tomorrow."

"What a shame," he exasperates sarcastically, settling back down to his heels and handing off the bag to Mina as she walks by with a carefully placed elbow into his side for...being the way that he is. "Don't let us keep you."

"Be nice." You hear your friend groan from just down the hall.

Everything the same as it always is.

Shrugging and reaching to his other side, the man grabs a single popcorn — tossing it into his mouth with a quirk of his eyebrows. "Don't worry, I was just leaving. Some of us still have work to do."

You have really got to get this out of your system.

"Mina!"

Shouting through the open flooring of the living space towards your friend, you don't bother waiting to hear back a response before you carry on with the thought.

"Is the downstairs bathroom working yet?"

"No, you have to use our bathroom. Upstairs, to the right, all the way down."

With a quick yell back, you hurry yourself up the while, marbled staircase — not having to go particularly badly yet but mostly instead wishing to get away from the volume of the crowd downstairs for a bit — you realize it's your first time having been on the second floor of the home. Still so new and unexplored, you can't help but take in the sight in a way that feels akin to sight-seeing.

The two certainly did not do badly for themselves.

Slowly making your way down the hallway, your attention is instead drawn to a single room to the left and just before the end of the hall — the tiniest bit of flickering, blue light spilling out from the open doorway — simply enough, you know who reside inside.

Carefully sneaking past in an attempt not to disturb him as he works, you can't help but turn your head to peek at the man inside: head cocked to the side to hold his phone there as his hands work busily at a keyboard on the desk in front of him — but you should really know better than to think that you can get away that easily.

Eyes picking up and towards you, one hand pulling upwards and pushing out his index finger towards you. That silent motion that we all know.

The 'come hither.'

Glancing back down the hall from the direction in which you came, you slowly step towards the doorway, palms nervously pressed to either side before slipping past as quietly as can be — then, with the flick of his wrist, Doyoung motions for you to shut the door behind you.

Your heart rate spikes so hard you feel dizzy.

Hand shaking as you reach out and toward the door, you carefully pull it closed behind you — not all of the way, still sitting ajar just behind you — but seemingly good enough for the man and with eyes glued to you all the while, it's then that he motions once again with his finger for you to come to him.

A slow saunter, feeling the way that your heart beats so hard and fast against your chest you're certain that the people on the other end of the phone can hear it, once you reach just beside him, it's then that he finally swivels his chair around and to the side to face you.

Along with issuing another command: To get on your knees.

The truth of it is that it's humiliating how aroused you already are by it all: A quiet, drowning culmination of so many things happening all at once. The fact that it's so wrong to be doing at all, the fact that you had only an hour ago been downstairs reconsidering if it was worth it entirely given how horrible he is, and beyond all of that — the unknown.

A dull thrum between your legs as you slowly kneel down and between his, thankful at least for the friction that that provides.

Legs spread wide before you, you watch as Doyoung slowly slips one hand down the front of his pants to settle over the growing bulge beneath. Barely noticeable strokes over himself and only inches from your face — remaining calm and collected on the work call in his ear as he does so, you slowly bring a hand up to unfasten his belt as the heady desire of watching him work himself begins to course through even pump of your veins.

Catching your wrist in his other hand just as quickly to stop you from touching him, the two of you make eye contact: a look in his features of displeasure and disapproval.

You're not allowed to touch him.

Watching in silence as Doyoung's head falls back against the office chair, barely able to make out the strands of black hair sticking to his slicked forehead — you can't hear him, on account of the call, but the visual enough to drive you mad, and probably even worse than the dream had ever done — pressing your thighs together as tightly as you can manage as you eye the movement of his fist beneath the fabric of his slacks. Growing faster, using his free hand to pull his shirt up and out of the way so that you can watch the way the muscles of his abdomen move with every tug of his hand against his cock — it's truly the most excruciating and simultaneously intoxicatingly arousing thing you've ever watched.

Internally begging for the request that you climb up and onto his lap to take him, or at the very least taste him, you realize all too suddenly that you might really be in over your head this time as you watch him come in his pants for your viewing pleasure, only.

Completely silent, heavy breaths as his chest rises and falls with each one, Doyoung brings his head back up from the back of the chair to tentatively meet your eyes once again as he pulls his dirtied fingers from the inside of his pants.

Playing with the way that his cum coats his fingers for a brief moment, he motions for you one last time — but this time, a much different meaning to that single, cum-covered digit.

You waste no time leaning toward him, and for a moment, it's like you don't even recognize yourself, anymore; long past the realm of the kind of lust-drunken stupor you've ever experienced before — and as the man shoves long, sullied fingers into your mouth, it's an automatic response the way you suck and swirl your tongue around them, as if wishing them to be the cock you would be more than willing to beg for any moment now.

When finished, Doyoung frees his hands from your lips, only to motion you away from him just as simply as he had beckoned you.

Stumbling down the hall towards the bathroom in which you had originally intended to find, panties slick and soiled with nothing besides your own desire — the words from your bestie ring loud through your memory in a horny daze.

'Intense' might have been the understatement of the year.

When Mina invites you to a work party for her husband, all that you can think about is the night of their housewarming: sucking his cum off of his fingers in the dull, blueish glow of a computer monitor.

You wonder if she knows. Surely, she knows.

Similarly, modestly dressed as that night — this time in a nice blouse and a fitted pair of dress pants, your friend praises your attire as you enter the busy conference room, shoving a tall glass of bubbly into your hands just as quickly as you're able to greet her back.

"Thank you for coming," she sighs in relief. "I was so fucking bored."

You can't help but wonder what this evening has in store for you now.

Now that you've gotten a taste...no pun intended.

"Sure, I didn't have anything better to do."

"Unsurprising, stuff like this is your job, after all, isn't it?"

Slipping up from the side of the both of you with a proud smirk — hair slicked back and off of his forehead to accompany the the just as put together look of his freshly pressed suit, Doyoung comes up to settle next to his wife, hand settling just at the curve of her hip.

You sort of wonder what it feels like to so easily be touched by him before shaking the thought from your mind entirely.

"Are you ever going to let that joke go?" You ask with a roll of the eyes. "It wasn't funny the first time, promise it's not getting funnier the more mileage it gets."

"I'll stop making it when you stop showing up everywhere, maybe."

"She invited me!" You scoff, only to watch the man bend over to whisper the response into Mina's ear. "Don't worry, I'll handle her for that later."

Out loud, your response is of feigned disgust at the sight, but inside, the visual of the man so vividly offering himself to someone once again reigniting the lust in your gut.

It's a deep, untamed need to have him, now. Part of you hopes that tonight will be the night that he finally puts you out of your misery. Get it out of your system, and move on with your life. Go back to nothing but pointed distaste for the man that your best friend chose to marry.

"Well, I'm off, got to make the rounds," The man finally says with a kiss to the top of his wife’s head before gifting you nothing but a raise of the eyebrows in acknowledge of your existence. "Have fun."

It's funny, because it's precisely what you had requested. For him not to pretend. To not act differently in any other circumstances — for everything to carry on as it normally would. You wonder if it's a conscious effort on his part to do so, or if it simply comes that easy to the man.

Quarter past eleven, you make your way out and onto the balcony by yourself — Mina off enjoying herself with a couple of the other work wives — weaving your away around a handful of folded and tucked umbrellas, tables and chairs for outdoor dining — you manage to find yourself a comfortable little nook of privacy off and to the side, and far from the line of sight of any prying eyes.

Thankfully, as it not be much of a habit you wish to be caught partaking in.

Digging into your bag to drag out the long, white stick from its box along with a lighter and sandwiching it between gently parted, red-stained lips, you light the cigarette and inhale with a feeling of relief washing over you — no, not a habit that you find yourself indulging in often, but perhaps after a few drinks on a particular night, you'd be known to have a bit of crumble to your resolve.

You know that Mina would have a thing or two to say, so best that she not know at all.

"Look at you—"

Not just the sound of a voice, but a mans voice at that being the thing to startle you, swinging around to find the visage only slightly more comforting than that of a strangers.

"—Don't you have secrets."

Strolling towards you with hands in pockets, you watch as Doyoung closes the distance between the two of you with a toothpick between teeth, and feeling like a child caught red-handed, the lump in your throat catches any chance you have at swallowing down the obvious nervousness carried through your body at his discovery.

Turning away and facing out towards the railing of the balcony, you choose instead not to give power to his overwhelming presence as you inhale another puff of the stick.

"It's just a social thing when I drink."

A quick, careful shift of his body and Doyoung just as easily has you caged in with arms on either side and chest pressed to your back.

It's not the only thing pressed to your back side, either.

Mouth dipping down into the crook of your neck as you carry on your desperate attempt to ignore him, he never kisses you — never actually makes contact of his lips to your skin — but the feathering of warm breath that smells of expensive scotch all the same kind of intoxicating, as if having drank the liquor yourself.

"Have you thought about the other night?"

The first, verbal acknowledgement of this between the two of you. Suppose, it always was just a matter of time before actual words had to be spoken in relation to it, but with one hand sliding closer to your own along the guard rail as the warmth of the words linger against your skin, you swallow dryly at the question before attempting an answer.

"Y-yeah."

"Did you like how I tasted?"

Doyoung answers back to you much too quickly for your liking, obviously far more comfortable and in control of this interaction than you find yourself to be — by design, based on Mina's run down of the man and his sexual preferences — but more surprisingly than that is the way that it doesn't feel alarming, or discomforting, but rather, pools the arousal between your legs faster than you think anyone or anything else ever has.

It's humiliating, and unfortunately, that sort of adds to it, as well.

Fingers around your wrist, the man pulls you around and back towards one of the tables just behind where the both of you stand — a small, couch-like set up with a cloth awning that doesn't allow for a visual inside of it unless you be directly in the front of it — Doyoung drags you gently towards it before seating himself down with legs spread, and this time, hands busily working at his belt as he stares up at you.

"Knees."

If someone had asked you why you simply obey the commands, you wouldn't even really be able to tell them outside of the throbbing, painful need to find out what obeying may get you in the end.

Taking your place between his legs, you dare not attempt to reach out and touch him this time, figure, you learned your lesson from the first encounter enough — watching instead as his fingers pull the leather from it's loops, then work at the button just beneath — a quick lift of his hips to press his dress slacks down only enough to expose himself as necessary, but with the added coverage of his briefs, as well.

You realize now, in this moment, that you'll do just about anything to fucking see it.

Same hand as before sliding down his stomach and gripping his cock from under the remaining fabric, you watch with lewd attentiveness as the man strokes himself in front of your face all over again, just as before.

"Want another taste?" He says, words airy and lustful. Nodding your head in affirmation like a dog begging for a treat, Doyoung chuckles under his breath. "Are you wet?"

The question excites you more than anything else, because surely, he's asking for one reason and one reason, alone.

Quickly darting your hand down and between your legs, the man shoots up and off of the back of the seat with a sudden urgency. "Don't. Don't touch yourself. Surely you know without checking."

Nodding again, you try to say "yes," but the words barely escape through the dryness of your mouth.

"Good girl," he answers, leaning against the seat again and slipping thumbs into the sides of the fabric remaining at his hips to pull it down only a few more inches from where it currently lie. Watching intently as his cock springs free from the confines — finally in full view for you — long and perfectly curved, not too thin but not enough thickness to him that taking him would be troublesome, suddenly, it's as if the problem of your mouth being too dry be replaced now by one of being too wet — watering at the sight of something you want to feel inside of you so desperately that by the second you find yourself losing the ability to feign disinterest in him.

Dominant hand snaking around his length again, Doyoung brings his other hand forward and towards you — wrapping around to the back of your head and fingers curling into the strands of hair there. It stings, but nothing too bad, and instead you find the pain only amplify the throb between your legs now as he dangle precisely what it is that you want just out of reach and in front of your face with every slow, gentle stroke of his hand along his cock.

"You want another taste, yeah?" He whispers this time as he tightens his grip into your hair and tilts your head back — perfect angle for the wet, head of his cock to rub just at your chin and bottom of your lip.

It's exciting, painfully so, as the untouched arousal coiling within you threatens. For a second, you really wonder if you can cum from this alone.

"If I cum for you will you be a good girl and swallow it for me?" He says then as the movement of his hand begins to pick up just that much more. "I come a lot, can you handle that?"

For some reason, the thought of the man having full, heavy loads of cum makes you even hotter for him. Something so primal and lewd about the idea of it — but perhaps you're too fucked out on not being fucked by now that you can't tell what's sexy and what's not, anymore.

Either are possible.

"Y-yes," you huff out, darting your tongue out to lick at the bottom of your lip and not-so-accidentally meeting with the tip of his length. Devilish grin taking his features, Doyoung stills his actions just as easily — an impressive amount of self-control. "Uh-uh, that's cheating."

Pulling you up and higher from your knees so that you gain more height above him, with the way that you're positioned over his cock, you think that he may threaten to impale your throat on him in one, smooth go. Deep down, you sort of hope he does.

"Spit."

The command comes through so strong in tone that you quickly answer to it, collecting enough saliva in your mouth to dribble down and onto the already plenty wet shaft of his cock as he continues to stroke himself through it with a low, throaty groan that makes you want nothing more than to swallow him whole with how close you are to it.

"Wanna suck my cock, baby?"

You nod wildly.

Hissing through his teeth at the sight of your neediness, he picks up the pace of his fist along his shaft as he settles you back down to your original position between his knees — tip of himself pressed along your lip. "How bad do you want it? Will you beg to have me in your mouth?"

"Yes, please—"

"I didn't say to beg, I just asked if you would," he amends with a patronizing cock of his head. "Want me to fuck your throat? Choke down my cum for me like a good girl?"

The throb nearly unbearable now, you can only whine at the words as he gets closer and closer to his own completion.

"Why don't you open that pretty little mouth for me so I can give you what you came here for?"

The words coming out in a deep, throaty groan as he teeters on the edge of completion, you allow your jaw to fall slack as he fucks himself with his hand a few more times before moaning out through gritted teeth at the feeling of his release — ropes of warm, wet cum painting your cheek and lips despite mostly being caught on your tongue as he comes in waves with every pull of his fingers along his length until finally stilling — leaning forward only to gaze upon his artistic handy work before telling you to swallow it all as previously instructed.

On the way home that night, only ten, simple words lingering on your mind as you make peace with the discomfort of your arousal along the way.

'so I can give you what you came here for.'

"Mina! I'm—"

Turning the corner and into the kitchen to find the door to fridge open — this is all well and good, except for, of course, once it closes and you're forced into contact with the same man who just came in your mouth unceremoniously a week prior.

Expressionless otherwise, Doyoung raises an eyebrow at the sight of you in his home before closing the stainless steel door and walking the other way.

"Guess my lovely wife forgot to inform her employee about the schedule change!" He says with a huff.

"You have got to let that joke go."

Right back to the usual. You wonder what sort of cruel games God plays when granting such a horrible man such a beautiful cock.

Shrugging and turning to look back at you from over his shoulder, the man takes a pitcher of water from the counter; pouring himself a glass before taking another one down from the cupboard and filling that, as well. Slowly carrying on towards you, he hands you the perfect crystal before nodding towards the marble island sitting in the middle of the kitchen for you both to take seats at.

Watching him move, it's such a different feeling from the one that intimately, you've grown a bit accustomed to. You know well enough that people involved in kink and alternate lifestyles are just regular people, but suppose you find yourself never having been so involved with one.

Or rather, fooling around with one who also happens to be married to your best friend.

Oversized, brown sweater hanging off of broad shoulders and thin, round framed glasses, Doyoung perches himself onto one of the stools with a gentle clank of his glass against the cool marble beneath — elbow snug against the hard material and hand serving as a means to lean his temple against as he looks upon you.

It's a little bizarre, feeling him watch you in a way that doesn't feel sexual at all. In a way, you find, it might be the first time Doyoung has really paid you any attention at all beyond the irritating banter of your joint, non-intimate involvement.

Looking charmingly soft and domestic, it's hard to make sense of the man seated in front of you, and the man who asked you to spit on his dick a week ago.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Taking a small sip from your glass, you try to drink down with it the nervousness of being in his presence, but suppose, maybe just a normal conversation will help alleviate that much.

"Have you...told her?"

Stilling, as if not quite sure what it is that you're asking, Doyoung's eyes first pull away from you in some attempt to gather knowledge from elsewhere that he not quite have in front of him. "Yeah, she told you I would."

Thumbing at the rim of your glass, intentionally avoiding any and all eye contact with the man, you hum in response. "What does she think?"

Glancing up, you catch the sight of a grin taking the mans lips, tongue darting across his lower lip like he's finally cracked the case of what all of this is about — settling back into his position from just before with a wide, gummy smile that you're not all that used to seeing.

"She thinks it's hot, is that what you want to hear?"

Snorting at the reply, you shrug. "I don't know. I guess."

"If this is some juvenile way of asking if everyone on our end is okay with the way things are taking place thus far, then the answer is 'yes,'" he says with an annoyingly judgmental tone to his voice. "Everything good on your end?" He adds much to your surprise, popping your head up suddenly at the question.

"Uh," you begin, bashful at the thought of further acknowledging the goings on between the two of them at this current point in time. "Y-yeah, everything is good."

Answering you first with a nod as he sets the glass into the sink, the man carries on down the short hallway and out of the kitchen entirely.

"Well, I've got work to do. Mina'll be home in about a half an hour. Make yourself comfortable, you apparently live here, after all."

Frown on your face at the words and tightening the grip on the set of keys that most definitely go to this home — suppose it's a fair enough assessment.

After a much later night than usual, with Mina in bed and keys of your own, it's simple enough to let yourself out.

Dimly lit hallways all of the way into the kitchen, it's on your way to sneaking out that you recall having left your dirty glass on the counter — and without giving Doyoung any more reasons to be a thorn in your side, obviously, it easier to be dealt with now. Easy enough.

Except that apparently this guy fucking lives in the kitchen.

Laptop propped up onto the same counter that the two of you shared your small chat earlier, the man watches you move slowly through the area — carefully reaching towards your glass and taking it into your hand as you slide it towards yourself and turn to set it precisely where it is that it belongs.

"Sorry," you whisper on your way past him again and towards the kitchen exit, before that familiar, strong hand finds itself looping around your wrist all over again.

You don't know if you can handle another night like the other two, however.

Pulling you into him with your back to his chest and still seated in place, you think it perhaps a good idea to have worn a cute little sun dress today.

That's not the only surprise you have in waiting, either.

One arm wrapped around your shoulders as the other slinks down to the inside of your thigh — you delight in the feeling of the man touching you, really touching you, for the first time. Delicate pads of his fingers feathering up slowly to the apex of your thighs, it's only due to the position of you against him in such a way that he feels the knocking of something hard against his wrist as he attempts to move closer to your vulva.

And it causes him to still completely.

Seconds of silence passing between you, nearly holding your breath at the anticipation of what's to come — you wonder if he'll choose to punish you for daring to go out on a limb and do such a thing, if punishment is even really something he would do — so many questions and possibilities, all more exciting than the last.

Slowly, you feel him lower his head down, mouth just next to your ear as the very same traveling hand pulls back to your behind and presses a finger right up against the exact thing causing the intrusion.

"Well, well, well," he whispers teasingly against your flesh. "Someone came over with expectations."

Already having opted out of verbally replying to him, he makes it easy with the ease in which he pushes you forward to give him space to stand — fingers pressed into the side of your neck from behind as he hurriedly urges you towards the darkened, least lit countertop in the kitchen.

It's a nice attention to detail: Not that the two of you have to sneak around, but pretending to makes it all that much more worth it.

Forcing your face and chest down and folding you over, Doyoung bunches the fabric of your dress up and over your ass just before diving by hand into the back of your panties for precisely the device that has him in such a mood.

"Who told you to wear this?" He asks with a gentle press against it. One finger extending down, he dips into your folds just ever so lightly before pulling back up with a chuckle under his breath. "You're so wet. Aren't you a little cockslut?"

The shift in Doyoung's demeanor this time hard to ignore, like a little bit of him lost in some sort of primal, animalistic lust to have you — it's precisely what you had been going for, after all.

Distinct sound of him hurriedly trying to pull himself from his jeans, met then with the feeling of long, deft fingers gently tugging your underwear down your legs — Doyoung pulls your hips up and out just enough before pressing your thighs closed together with his cock sandwiched in between and the plug in your ass on display for him as he continues gently pushing and pulling on it with ever shallow thrust of his hips against you.

It's excruciating, the promise of feeling him snug between your walls in only an inch or so of adjustment — head of his cock rutting gently against your swollen clit as he aimlessly fucks the wetness of your pussy from the outside — you regret the way that the quake of your thighs give away the fact that you may be able to come from this contact alone.

Slowing his movements against you with hands firmly pressed into the dip of your hips, Doyoung leans down and against you to whisper more torment into your ears.

"So close, baby," he huffs out. "You're so wet, could slide inside of you so easily — fuck you raw right here, would you like that?"

As if the knowing and the wanting wasn't enough, the talking always ending up as your ultimate downfall with the man.

You nod despite the way in which the side of your face lie against cold, unforgiving marble — looking back at him as he administers this particular punishment of the night. You're not sure if it's intended to be a punishment — of if any of it really is, but it certainly does feel that way.

Perhaps you're just a little bit too used to getting what you desire, with ease.

"Sort of want to," he says through gritted teeth, a certain tonal anger that you don't think you've heard from the man in your encounters before but that causes you to clench hard around nothing all the same. The promise of finally getting what you want to bad — the taking of what he wants and needs of you even in spite of himself. One hand sliding up your back and setting on the back of your neck again, he pulls his hips back just enough to position the tip of his length perfectly at your entrance — threatening all the while with shallow pokes to sheath himself inside of you once and for all.

"Fuck you stupid, have you babbling my name while I fuck you full of my load like the cum-hungry bitch that you are, that's what you want me to do, right?" Without giving you time to respond, you feel him pull hard enough on the plug embedded in your ass to remove it, tossing it into the sink only a little bit away. "Come over here with this in makes me act a little fucking crazy — but you haven't earned having me in your cunt just yet."

Hand swooping down from the small of your back and cradling instead his length as he positions the tip of himself at your well-prepped asshole — well enough lubricated from topically fucking your pussy, Doyoung presses himself inside of the tight cavern slowly with a bitten bottom lip and a forced back groan from his chest as he sinks inside of you as delicately as he can muster.

You're thankful enough for his attention, but it's not your first rodeo, and you prepped for a reason — pushing your hips back and against him as signal to carry on, he brings the hand back up and to your shoulder, leverage to pull you back with force and onto his cock with every following snap of his hips.

Truthfully, he feels fucking exquisite inside of you.

"Fuck, Doyoung—" you whine, only for one hand to swing around and over your mouth just as quickly as the words exit.

"Don't address me," he grits through drives of his hips into you — moans spilling out through his fingers all the same as if no hand there at all. "Don't talk, just take my cock like you're supposed to."

Nodding, the overwhelming feeling of wanting to come so badly and not knowing if you can get there untouched — tears threatening the corners of your eyes with every relentless yet heavenly drag of the mans cock inside of your ass — it's then that you feel the ghosting of fingers over your clit. A feeling so exciting to you now that you nearly bear down against them, to which, Doyoung chuckles at your neediness.

"Can't just come from my cock in your ass?" He whispers, the lewd sound of his hips meeting the flesh of your behind echoing through the otherwise empty bottom floor of the home. "How much do you think I'd have to rub you before you came all over my hand? Ten seconds?—"

The light, feathering of the tip of his fingering feeling nearly electric over your clit now, you moan out into the palm of his hand with eyes clamped shut. "—Five seconds?"

Breathing heavily through his hand as he continues his relentless drive into you from behind, pulling his hand away from between your legs you whine loudly against the flesh of him at the loss of yet another release, but instead, the hand around your mouth curling fingers between your lips as you happily and seductively suck around them like cock presented. Groaning at the sight, his other free hand traveling up the length of your torso and finding purchase against your breast as his thumb gently circles around the bud there — Doyoung leans down to curl his lips into a smile against your back at the sight of all of the ways that you're willing to fall apart for him.

"I think you can come without it."

Gently fucking his fingers into your mouth — simulating the presence of his length currently buried in your ass, also buried down your throat, with the additional stimulation of gentle tugs and flicks of his thumb against your nipple, pressing your thighs together tightly — you suspect that he might be right.

"God, look at you," he groans, slowing his hips to focus elsewhere as he watches the way you hungrily lap at his fingers. "You want to suck my cock so bad — have you always wanted it, baby?"

It's nearly involuntary, the moan that rips through you as the words leave his mouth.

Just shy of baby talking, condescending certainly, Doyoung pressing the pads of his fingers harder against your tongue as he shoves all of the way into your mouth to the best of his ability given the angle. "That why you act like that? Need me to fuck your face open, make you gag on it a little bit so you shut up?"

The words, with a particularly sharp snap of his hips, has your legs pressing in on themselves in just a way that you know with a little bit more movement, you can get there. Through tears brimming in your eyes, you manage out a desperate plea past the mans fingers — met with such a familiar sinister grin, Doyoung picks up the pace of his hips — harder and fuller with length against you as you nearly cry out around the fingers still dug in between your lips.

Digging a hand up from your chest and in your hair again, knuckles twisting into it hard as he chases his high, with a bit back groan he gazes down at you — standing tall and firm from behind you as you barely manage to meet eyes with him from your twisted position.

"Gonna come, baby?" He whispers through labored breaths as he teeters on the edge of release. "Want me to fuck my cum in your ass, don't you?"

"Yes, yes—" You chant at the promise of finally being able to come in the presence of the man. You're thankful when it's only two or three more stutters of his hips into you from behind before he releases into you — hot cum spilling into your hole as he shoves the full length of himself inside as he finishes. It's enough for you, thankfully, enough friction from the movement of him against you to have you barreling over the edge along with him with a shriek and a whine through his fingers as you come hard and long for the first time since you two have begun your rendezvous.

Chests heaving as the man gently pulls himself from you, you quickly bend down to pull your panties up to catch the mess of cum already immediately making its exit from your used, stretched open hole. Turning back around to face him as he effectively cages you in with arms on either side of the counter — the two of you make eye contact briefly before a gentle flushing of embarrassment washes over you and you're forced to pull away from the man that only seconds ago was inside of you.

"Try to remember to wash your dishes, would you? I can't do this every time."

Turning back suddenly, you playfully slap at his arm as he shimmies his jeans back up and around his hips.

Mixed drink and a slightly over-cooked quesadilla in front of you on the table of a busy, evening restaurant on your side of town — in the company of a handful of shared friends, Mina and her miserable husband, you can't help the pique in curiosity about the ins and outs of such an arrangement from inside of the marital home.

How much their relationship benefits from the retelling of such engagements with your best friends husband. How much their sex life benefits from it.

Watching from your peripheral — an attempt to not make it so obvious, how interested you are in the dichotomy of it — Mina and Doyoung playfully flirting and touching each other from across the table as if the man hadn't just sodomized you in their kitchen only a few days prior.

It turns you on even that much more. The mystery behind it.

"God—" An exasperated sigh from the man; black turtle neck and fitted black jeans just under the table as he sets his glass back down onto the table with a disgruntled scrunch of facial features adorning his face. "—This drink is terrible, I should say something."

Squinting, the pointless complaint pulls something from you. Such a typical, stuck up, rich guy thing to say.

"Drinks are two dollars here, what did you expect?"

"I don't care if it's two or twenty dollars, if I'm paying for it then it should at least be drinkable."

Eyes turning towards your friend seated next to you as she meets your gaze just the same, a swift kick across the way to her husbands shin has him rolling his eyes and jolting back in his chair. "Be good, Doie."

"Yes, dear."

"Can't take him anywhere," You whisper to your friend, well within earshot of the man, which of course only causes him to lean in and towards the both of you with an irritated frown. "Don't talk about me like I'm not here."

"Better than talking to you."

"Trust me," he sighs, leaning back into his seat again. "The feeling is more than mutual. I wonder everyday how you ended up with a key to our place."

For whatever reason, that one stings in particular.

Normally, dealing with Doyoung is something that you're used to — but tonight, there's a certain tone to him that you find hitting somewhere in your chest in a much different way. Not just banter, but perhaps a deeply personal disapproval of not only you, but your friendship with his wife.

It's not that you anticipated starting a sexual relationship with him to have fixed your dealings outside of it — quite the contrary, actually — but maybe enough was enough, now.

You've cum on my face, the least you could do is treat me with a basic level of respect.

Napkin out of your hand and onto the table in a way that it's obvious of your displeasure, you stand suddenly and inform Mina of your departure to the bathroom. "Do you want me to come with you?" She of course offers, only for you to quickly dismiss it and assure her that you're fine as you carry yourself off and down the short hallway to the small, two-stall ladies room.

Leaned over the dirty, wet, black granite counter with both hands pressed into the edge, you look at yourself in the reflection — needing a moment to cool off, you're still relatively unsurprised when you don't receive it.

Cracking the door open, you watch from in front of you as the most insufferable man you've ever known slips inside to join you.

"You having fun?" He starts, already with intent to have a fight with you. "Have fun causing a scene?"

"Oh, I'm causing a scene!" You chime sarcastically, "not the guy who wants to complain about a two dollar drink not being up to par. Does it ever get exhausting? Being so fucking far up your own ass?"

Rushing towards you in an instant, Doyoung wraps a hand in your hair from behind — first pushing you forward with the momentum of it but just as quickly ripping you backwards and towards one of the empty stalls. Door slamming shut behind the both of you and just as quickly allowing the back of his shoulders fall to the wall, he works quickly at his belt as the sinister look in his eyes never once leaves your own.

You wonder how he has this kind of power — only seconds ago the most horrible man you could ever imagine being around, but now, watching him stare you down as he works to free his cock for you in this public bathroom — you realize that it's that precise mixture of things that makes his desirability so strong. Painfully so, as the throb between your legs already finds itself stirring up once again.

Barely pushed down his hips and freeing his hardening length, languid strokes over himself as he stands in front of you never once breaking eye contact for a second, you realize in humiliating silence that you're waiting for his command.

Of which, he quickly grants you: "Why don't you put that mouth to good use, for once."

Maybe if you hadn't been wanting it for so long already you'd be more willing to put up a bit of a fight, but finally being granted one of the things you've been dying for since the beginning of this endeavor with him — falling to your knees in the filth of this bathroom stall and immediately taking him into your hand with a long, enthusiastic swipe of your tongue up the bottom of his shaft — the low, breathy groan that it grants you reason enough to pull forward to take the head of his cock between your lips and swirl your tongue there, only to press down along his length for as far as you can before the tip of him threatens the back of your throat.

Unfortunately, it's not much of him that you can take before that happens.

Hand in your hair again as you've grown so familiar, you hear the sound of his head falling back against the granite before parting his lips to speak. "Gonna have to do a better job than that. How good can you be?"

You know what he's really asking.

Pulling you forward by your hair harder along his length, you struggle to accommodate him in your mouth, but it's not the first time you've done something like this — he's not asking too much of you — but it's sudden, and the burn against your throat something you're not used to feeling as your gag reflex begins to trigger and tears well up in your eyes at the struggle.

Doyoung pulls you back only slightly so that you can take a deep breath before bringing your mouth back along him. "Come on, you're gonna have to take it all, baby."

The words 'have to' immediately pooling between your legs, especially.

Gagging around him, the man moans through the sounds of you struggling to take his cock into your throat, he begins shallow, short thrusts against your mouth in an attempt to bring your nose flush with the skin of his pubic area, but with this not being something you've done often enough — there's part of you that wants to fight through it, because frankly, you've been fantasizing about this very moment since the very first night you tasted his cum from his fingers, anyways — but perhaps you should have practiced a bit more (or at all) at home in anticipation for this night.

You don't want to, but everyone has limits.

Three fast taps of your hand against his thigh, Doyoung immediately removes himself from your hair, allowing you to pull off from him just as quickly — coughing into the crook of your elbow as you attempt to regain oxygen into your lungs, you can't see much through the wetness gathered in your eyelashes, but you do hear the sound of him tucking himself away again before kneeling down to meet you on the floor.

"Are you okay? Can I get you anything?"

"No," you rasp out, sounding far more fucked and broken than you actually are, but rather, a physical result of the assault on your throat. Really, you're fine, just too much, too fast. "I'm okay, seriously, just couldn't yet."

"Is there anything I can do?"

Concern dripping from his voice — he's not touching you, purposely as to give you enough space from him, you shake your head with a chuckle as you bring your hand up to wipe the tears away from your eyes before making eye contact with him again.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong, I was a little too enthusiastic, I think."

"Is it okay if I touch you?"

Chuckling again at the way that the man almost insists on handling you with kid gloves, you roll your eyes. "Yes, I'm not broken, I just can't deep throat seven inches of dick on a whim without a bit of practice."

"Aw," Doyoung coos, running a hand gently through your hair, before standing himself and helping you to your feet. "You think I'm seven inches. That's sweet."

Sniffling hard and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand before straightening your clothing and dusting off your knees, you shoot the man a confused frown. "Bigger or smaller?"

Unlocking the stall door and motioning for you to exit, Doyoung offers you a simple wag of his index finger and a pompous grin before answering.

"A lady never tells. After you."

With weeks of fooling around with Kim Doyoung under your belt now, you find a certain level of trust and comfort established. Exemplified by his adhesion to boundaries and safe words at the drop of a hat, you can't help but recall the words that Mina had offered you so early on in the initial discussions of this foray into ethical non-monogamy.

'He's a good dom.'

Sure, you have a lot of criticisms of the man: That he's brash, boring, conceited, self-important and a whole other mess of ways to say that he's far from the kind of man you'd like to see yourself with at the end of the day, but one thing is for sure — safety, respect and trust are of the utmost importance to him.

Thinking back to that time in the bathroom — immediately unconcerned with the state of his erection in favor of the state of your well-being — sure, it sort of is the bare minimum when it comes to this sort of sexual play, but something to be celebrated, all the same.

So now, you may have an interest in rearranging some of the terms of your agreement.

"Honey, I'm home!"

Annoyingly sing-song in a way that you know will irritate the man of the house but be effortlessly charming to the person that you're there to see — when met with silence, you're a bit disappointed. After all, playing house in spite of Doyoung's clear distaste for it has turned into one of your favorite past times.

Both the playing house, and the irritating him parts.

"Hello?" You ask again, listening to the way the words echo through the empty, lower-level of the home, only to eventually be met regretfully by the husband — apron-clad and wooden spoon in hand as he settles a straight-faced look upon you without offering anything for words.

Then, he turns back and into the kitchen from which he came.

A roll of the eyes, you set your bag down on a chair near the door, kicking your shoes off and following after him — eyes pulling towards the familiar countertop that you've more than become acquainted with as you circle around to the other side of the kitchen island to sit in the very same chair that the man had been seated in the last time that the two of you had your...engagements, here.

"So," you sigh. "When's Mina coming home?"

"She's not."

The words sort of send a chill down your spine, because the first thing that comes to mind is that the things that the two of you have been engaging in have now torn their relationship apart.

But, Mina was the one that told you to come over.

Glancing over his shoulder while perched over the stove — obvious horror splashed across your face, Doyoung laughs at the obvious line of thought in your mind. "She's on a business trip."

"Then, why did she tell me to come over?"

Halfway into turning his attention back to his cooking, he brings his head all the way back to look at you again: It's a look that says, "you know why, don't play dumb now."

He doesn't offer verbal confirmation, but you understand the jist of it well enough with just that. "Have you eaten?" He asks instead, to which you nod. "Yeah, had something on the way over."

It's sort of perfect, the way that the pieces fall together as Doyoung stands across from you at the very same island — a small bowl of soup being shoveled into his mouth with no particular haste as you watch him — gray sweatshirt and matching sweatpants, it's a cozy look that you're not all that used to seeing from him considering the majority of your involvement with him has been out and about.

You've been meaning to bring this up, anyways.

"I think—" you start quietly, picking at the skin around your fingernails lightly. The nervousness being the first thing that Doyoung notice as his eyes travel up from his empty bowl and towards your own, waiting for you to finish the thought.

"—I don't want to do this anymore. With you. It feels wrong. I can't do it anymore."

The layer of silence that falls across the atmosphere of the kitchen feeling so suffocatingly thick as you wait for his response — the man simply staring at you quietly through his eyelashes without even the slightest bit of movement until his lips part ever so lightly to speak.

"Color?"

And with confidence, you whisper back "green."

Squinting at you, you recall back having mentioned this to Mina in passing: the resistance kink. The desire to be 'taken,' to have a complete loss of control over the situation — participating in something so dirty, so wrong, and loving every second of it so much that you desperately wish for the morality of it to be out of your hands entirely. 'I want it, but wanting it is wrong. Only when stripped of the choice entirely is there true freedom to desire.'

And obviously, she passed it along to him, but the discussion not having happened in full means that now it's up to you to take matters of consent into your own hands.

But slowly raising from his slightly folded position, Doyoung brings his bowl to the sink, rinsing it out, and coming back to you in silence. The discomfort is poignant, so, now you have to ask.

"Color?" You slowly drop from dry lips, and without breaking his suffocating gaze on you, he whispers back pointedly "yellow."

The word exits his mouth quietly, smoothly, as if really trying to drive home to you how much this is not the way these things are supposed to work: Truth of the matter is that you know that, and this should have been discussed at length long before tonight — but you trust him to be able to make the adjustments, and worst case, to stop if you should need him to.

You're hopeful that he trusts you to do all of the same.

Then, he parts his lips to speak again. "—But, green."

It's his way of letting you know that you've gone about this all wrong, but all things considered, he's willing to roll with the punches, anyway. Jutting towards you, Doyoung wraps long fingers around your wrist, ripping you off of the stool and nearly knocking it to the floor as a result; tearing the apron from his waist as he roughly tugs you out of the kitchen, down the hall, up the stairs and swings you around to press your back against the shining, platinum railing of the banister in the hallway.

"Why did you wear jeans?" He grunts as he drops to his knees in front of you, quickly pulling apart the button and zipper to roughly drag the tight fabric down your legs.

Frankly, you didn't know that you'd be doing this tonight.

Stepping out of them and shoved down the hallway to be sufficiently out of the way, the man hoists one of your legs up and over his shoulder — one hand digging fingers into the side of the crotch of your panties to grant him quick access to your already anticipatory pussy.

However, him being eye level with your cunt not particularly how you had expected this to go — ever, really.

Looking up at you from between your legs and through devilishly narrow eyes, the man makes one, simple, request: "Tell me about the dream."

Diving into your folds as his tongue presses flat and firm against your clit — the sudden feeling of him having you like this making you dizzy with want, you find yourself entirely unsure how you're expected to recount much of anything to him like this — and especially once he begins unrelenting suction to you that threatens to make you cum almost immediately.

Attempting to bite back your moan, and instead opting for a breathy 'fuck,' you know well enough that if you don't adhere to the command, he'll most definitely stop.

"Y-you—" there's an attempt to speak at least, until two long, thin fingers bury into you to the last knuckles.

Pulling his mouth away from you and licking at his lips lewdly, he cocks his head to the side playfully. "Better start talking or I'll stop."

"God, okay," you exasperate as he dives back in. "Was...against the wall, you fucked me against the wall — we weren't—"

"Allowed?" He pauses again only long enough to finish your thought with a grin. Nodding quickly, Doyoung still slowly fucking into you with his fingers as he watches you fall apart from above him, he coos at the look and sound of you — perhaps finally coming to an understanding of what all of this is about.

"Good girl," he hums gently, lips brushing against your wet folds without much intent behind the contact. "Can you do me another favor?"

Breathy and already a little fucked out, you whisper out a "yes."

"Come on my mouth."

Leaning up and into you again, tongue firm into your clit with tight, intensive swirls — it doesn't take long for you to follow through as one hand falls down and wraps into his hair — holding him firm in place as you involuntarily grind down against his mouth as you come blindingly hard onto him. Long since needed and the orgasm from the night in the kitchen hardly offering the release you had been looking for — Doyoung lending his face to you in such a lewd, particularly out of character act of a blending of roles — as you come down slowly from your high, you watch the man pull away and out of you with a gentle ease, sucking his fingers clean of you before wiping his face with the back of his hand and standing tall in front of you.

"Want to fuck your best friends husband, but don't want to be responsible for the repercussions of it, huh?"

You just came, but the promise of getting exactly the fantasy that you wish for out of this throbbing between your legs pooling just as if you hadn't.

You don't even get to answer before the same, dominant hand is wrapped up in the hair at the back of your head and pushing you down the hallway, towards the bedroom.

Stumbling inside as he roughly pulls you around, once the both of you reach the edge of the bed, Doyoung sits you down just in front of him — not letting you free of his grasp, but instead with his other hand, freeing his growing erection from his pants and pulling your mouth against him harshly.

Of course, you take him in with ease.

"You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth like this," he groans from above you, eyes glued to the place where he disappears inside of you. "Always knew you wanted me, that's why you always act like that, just need me to put you in your place, don't you?"

Moaning at the words and around his dick as he shallowly presses inside of your wet mouth, speed slowly picking up with each passing moment as he continues to talk you through it. "What are we going to do if my wife finds out? Suppose we just can't let that happen, can we?"

You hate the way the thought has you clenching down hard.

"That's why you're over here so much, isn't it?" Doyoung asks through gritted teeth as he continues fucking into your mouth, gently prodding at the back of your throat with each thrust. "Just begging for me to fuck your mouth? You love my cock, don't you?"

Pulling his length from you only long enough for you to answer back and breathy 'yes,' he sheaths himself inside all over again

Only a few more thrusts before grunting, Doyoung pulling himself from your mouth to fist over his cock and lined up with your face — you display your mouth open with tongue flat as he comes over your flesh again — warm, heavy ropes of himself painting your face and mouth before quickly angling your head down again to place his length between your lips for you to suck him clean, as well.

Holding your head back again and bringing his other hand up, thumb spreading the wetness of the act across your lips, chin and cheeks before shoveling most of it into your mouth as your lips close around his thumb to suck the digit clean just as you have with his cock — groaning into the look and sensation of it, Doyoung gently taps the inside of his fingers against your jaw, signaling for you to open your mouth all over again as he shoves two fingers in to swirl around the mixture of cum and spit collected there.

Slipping back and away from you, the command comes through simply. "Swallow."

You do so without question.

Wiping your mouth with your shoulder and taking in a heavy breath, you sigh out while looking up at him. "We can't ever let her find out about this?"

But glancing down at you with the most evil look in his eye, you watch as a single corner of his mouth gently pulls up,

"You think I'm done with you?"

It sends a tingle down your spine and straight to your pussy, Doyoung suddenly reaching forward to turn you around and bent over the bed as he pulls your soiled panties roughly to the side with a tear. Rubbing the head of his cock through your soaking slit and against your still sensitive clit, you grip hard into the sheets beneath you, attempting to pull away from him but to no avail as he grips fingers roughly into your hips to keep you precisely in place and displayed before him.

"Think you can take it all, baby?" He sighs, leisurely stroking himself back to full hardness as his tip slowly begins to split your pussy open from behind. "Can you be a good girl for me, take the whole thing?"

Whimpering against the mattress at the desperate, delicious burn of his cock finally entering you after so long — what feels like a lifetime of desiring having him buried inside of your walls, finally being granted to you with slow, almost delirious ease as he sinks into you from the back, you answer him honestly. "N-no."

"I don't think so, either," he responds with a comfortable ease as he continues with his initial stroke. "But you're going to try, aren't you? Not used to taking such a big dick?"

"No, fuck, Doyoung—"

"God you want this so bad, already so fucked out on my dick and I'm not even inside all of the way," gently pulling his hips back only to rock back inside, even such a simple movement granting him a cry out from between your dry lips. Leaning forward and over your back to plant a hand down between your shoulders and holding you in place, Doyoung repeats the action again to elicit the same response from you all over again.

"Oh, you love a big cock," he grits out through his teeth as he finally settles into a rhythmic pace against your behind. "You love my cock. Say you didn't want to do this, didn't want to go through with this, but I don't think that's true at all, is it?"

Pulling out far enough for only the tip of him to remain inside of you before drilling back hard into your cunt, you nearly cry at the unrelenting pressure of him against your walls, and in particular, against your g-spot. Thighs trembling and stomach tightening with every full, hard drive of himself into you, it's an attempt to form a full thought but instead, the words come out as only babbled sobs as he drives hard and firm into you.

"Do-Doyoung, fuck, 'm gonna, 'm—p-please, please, fuck—"

"You gonna come, baby?" The question comes through with hastened, airy breaths as if close himself. "Come around my dick for me? Wanna earn my cum?"

Nodding fast against the mattress, he grunts into a particularly hard thrust against you. "Make your lil cunt so messy."

Pulling himself back up into a straighter, standing position at the edge of the bed, fingers firmly dug into the flesh of your waist as he pulls you back hard onto his cock — the sudden angle change toppling you over into your orgasm unexpectedly as you cry out for him and curl your own nails into the sheets beneath you as your release rips through your body — simultaneously, Doyoung falling victim to the way your pussy clenches down around his length, fucking you roughly through your orgasm as he reaches his own with bit back, throaty moan at the way your cunt nearly milks his cum from him with little movement and so much ease — burying himself so deep into your guts that it threatens to hurt and whining at the near pain of having him so fully inside of you as he coats your walls.

Chests rising and falling, Doyoung pulls from you and falling next to you, it's much to your surprise when familiar hands tug you to the side and seated over his hips.

"Split yourself open on my cock and come again."

The words themselves nearly enough to do you in, but with the unrelenting throb of your untouched clit impossible to ignore, you follow the command as you position your hips over his impressively hard length and wasting no time burying him inside of your messy, cummed-in cunt all over again.

Leaning back ever so slightly and quickly rubbing circles into your clit for his viewing pleasure as he pulls the sweatshirt still clinging to his chest up to expose more skin of his abs and chest — reaching your free hand down, you touch over the skin there, feeling more of him and the way his abs reach to not only your touch, but the visual just in front of him.

"Fuck," you whimper, already feeling the threat of another orgasm building as your walls squeeze tightly around his seated shaft. "Fuck, Doie—"

The pet name.

"God, don't call me that, I'll come in your little pussy all over again," he nearly whines through an exhausted chuckle. It's a sort of endearing, almost break in character that you're not used to seeing from the man.

"Come on baby, be a good girl and come for me," he starts again with a fucked out whisper as he watches you twist circles into your pussy just above where his length disappears inside of you. "Show me just how bad you wanted me inside of you."

Toes curling and teeth gritting as it washes over you all over again — a nearly silent scream of an orgasm as your mouth hangs open through your release — a similar, quiet groan from the man beneath you as he watches and feels you come on him for the third time tonight.

He takes his jobs very seriously.

Giving you a moment to calm before heaving you off of him and standing in front of you again, as you sit up to meet his dick with your lips just as before, you can't help but be seriously impressed by his ability to maintain an erection.

You're beginning to understand why Mina married him, after all.

"Clean me up," he commands, hand gently weaved into the back of your head in such a familiar way. "Enjoy it while you can, it's the last time you'll get to taste me."

True as it is, you find yourself surprisingly somber at the thought of this being the end of the arrangement, as agreed upon. Far from an emotional connection, but rather, a mental one — a mutual understanding between physical lovers. The trust, the communication, and safety inherent in this particular pairing of people.

Plus, his cock is perfect and he fucks like a pornstar.

Licking up the length of his shaft, truly savoring the taste of his cum and your own mixed along it before taking him deep into your mouth and bobbing slowly, carefully, full of intent along his cock — partially for the show of it, and partially because yes, it's the last time, and you'll miss this more than you might have thought you would going in.

"You're amazing," Doyoung sighs, gently pulling his length from between your lips and folding over just enough to be only a few centimeters off from your own face with his. "Open."

Obeying the command and jaw falling slack, the man allowing the collection of saliva from his mouth to drip lewdly into your own — missing direction ever so slightly and catching partially at the corner of your mouth — Doyoung brings a hand up to thumb at the messy corner before finally closing the distance between both of your mouths and pulling you into a full, intense, passionate kiss — tongue immediately pushing forward to lick at the inside of your mouth — it's breathtaking and intimate in a way that nothing else thus far has been.

And pulling away with a single, thin, string of saliva connecting the two of you by mouth yet, Doyoung's lips curl into a sinister grin as his eyes pull from your own, to your lips, then back up to meet your vision again.

"Happy to help."

♡ send me your thoughts and feelings in my ask.

—part 2!

#doyoung smut #nct smut #doyoung x you #doyoung x reader #doyoung x y/n #doyoung imagines #doyoung scenarios #nct x reader #nct x y/n #nct xyou #nct imagines #nct scenarios

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pedropascalsx · 3 months

Text

A Long Awaited Reward. {Dave York x F! Reader!}

Rating: Explicit.

Word Count: 15.8k

Warnings: Unhappy marriage, known infidelity, ?slightly forced hand, mention of car crash (no injuries), oral sex (m&f receiving), P in V sex, loss of virginity, fingering, cock warming, some feelings, derogatory language, aftercare.

Comments: Dave has been cleaning up after his wife for too long, and you tempt him with a proposition that he can’t resist.

Co-written with @absurdthirst ❤️

Gif by me: @pedropascalsx!

Carol York is perfect. She has the perfect family, the perfect house, the perfect car and her most prized possession; her perfect husband.

Everything about Carol York is perfect… or so it seems.

The truth is Carol York has her demons, skeletons that are piled up in her closet, haunting the rows of designer shoes and racks of glamorous gowns that seldom get to see the light of day.

But to anyone you may ask, they would likely describe Carol York as a perfectionist, kind, generous, charitable and all around the perfect housewife; but you knew otherwise.

You spotted her the moment she waltz into the hotel bar, clutching her designer purse in one hand and her phone in the other. She was with her usual group of friends, all equally as loud and pretentious.

Sitting quietly in the corner and picking at the rest of the food on your plate you rolled your eyes as her group of friends laughed so loudly it made the glassware shake, really you had no real reason to dislike her but you couldn’t help it. The whole stepford wives persona that they all exude simply leaves a sour taste in your mouth.

You think back to the first time you had met her about ten years ago, still in your teens and still in high school, she had loudly made a comment about how boys never notice the plain, boring ones while looking you up and down. Everyone had laughed along with her, even your mom, who then spent the next few weeks trying to talk you into buying a new wardrobe but you weren’t interested.

You left the bar before she did that night, sneaking out without her noticing you and pulling into your driveway about five minutes before you heard her speeding around the corner. Her brand new Mercedes squealing as she drove straight into Mr. Perkins’ Chevy. You opened your door to check on her but before you could step out, you saw Dave running towards her. She stumbled out of the car giggling as she admired the damage she caused, clearly enjoying the look of annoyance on her husband's face.

You couldn’t make out their conversation but you could tell he was furious, shaking his head as he pulled out his phone and made a brief phone call. Slowly, you started to close the door, not wanting them to see that you had witnessed everything and once the door was gently pushed shut you made your way to bed.

You woke up the next morning to a commotion outside your bedroom window, neighbours all lining up to get a look at the damage that had been caused by the selfish driver that had left no note and that’s when you saw her... Standing next to Mr Perkins shaking her head and pretending to be just as outraged as he was.

Over the next few days you had considered sending an anonymous note, or anonymously contacting the police but ultimately decided to keep quiet, despite the guilt that kept you from sleeping at night. It wasn’t your business and you weren’t about to go to war with the Yorks.

Carol could make your life hell. But Dave… Dave seemed like he’d be capable of so much more.

Dave growls as he rewatches the tape from a few days earlier, making sure that he hadn’t missed anything from that night. One of their neighbours had caught the whole thing on their RING doorbell camera but thankfully Dave was able to have Resnick hack into their accounts and delete all the footage and make it look like the camera had unfortunately stopped working a few hours before the accident.

It was only as he was about to delete the last trace of evidence from that evening he noticed it. Your door barely in the frame, opening a few inches and closing just as he got off the phone to Ari - who had managed to get the exact model Mercedes Carol owned and replace it with the damaged one before daylight began to fall across the neighbourhood.

“Shit.” He hisses as he slams his hand against his desk. Your parents were out of town on their cruise, so he knew that the person who witnessed his wifes reckless behaviour had to have been you. He ponders for a second why you hadn’t said anything yet and wonders if it’s worth just letting things sit… but decides that paying you a visit is the best course of action.

He slides his phone into his pocket and makes his way downstairs to his wife and kids… hating the way her face is buried into her phone as the girls watched Tangled for the 10,000th time this month.

“We need to talk, honey,” he says with a smile, as not to concern the girls. “Now.”

“Sure,” she says with a roll of her eyes, before following him into her ‘crafts’ room.

The second she waltzes in the room, he closes the door and swings around to face her with a look of fury on his face, “You had a fucking witness,” he scowls, “And she saw the whole fucking thing.”

“What?” Carol says in utter disbelief. “What are you talking about?”

With venom dripping from every word he tells her everything that he could make out from the video. How it was clear that you saw everything and how they had to pay you a visit and make sure that you keep your pretty little mouth shut and not ruin their comfortable little life in the unsuspecting suburbs.

The doorbell makes you jump, not expecting anyone and planning on having a quiet night in front of the TV with leftover chinese food and netflix, you groan as you pull yourself up and off your sofa.

“Evening,” a raspy voice growls at you, as the door swings open, “I think we need to have a little chat.”

Dave pushes past you and Carol enters right behind him as you step back in shock. Every single thing about Dave York is entirely intoxicating, his scent, his voice and the fact he’s the most attractive man you’ve ever laid eyes on doesn’t help either. Even in the comfort of your own house, you’re being commanded by him and following him into your kitchen.

“Can I get you both a drink?” You ask after a few uncomfortable minutes, hoping he doesn’t notice the way your hands shake.

“No. Enough drinking.” Dave cuts his eyes towards Carol, annoyed that he’s in this position. If it weren’t for the fact that the bitch knows what he does, would threaten to tell everyone, he wouldn’t bother fixing this mess she got herself into. “Sit down.” He orders, kicking the chair opposite him out from under the table.

“Yes, sir,” you say with a gulp, unsure why you addressed him with such authority. “How can I help you?” You ask meekly.

“Have fun the other night?” Dave’s eyes are flat, emotionless as he leans in to stare into your own. Using the intimidation that comes so easily to him.

“Wha-what do you mean?” You stutter, your body almost frozen in fear as you look over at him.

“Going out.” He doesn’t expand on that, wanting you to spill what you know without him giving you anything more.

“I went out for a meal with a few friends from my book club on Tuesday at The Charlton Hotel.” You say quietly, managing to rip your eyes from his for a few seconds before he’s commanding them back with a sharp tut.

“And?” He demands harshly. “What else happened?”

“I think you know.” Is all you say, your voice small and barely higher than a whisper. You glance over at Carol who has a smug look plastered on her face as she watches her husband clean up her mess yet again.

“Say it.” He growls, slapping his hand down on the table, making you jump. He hates this, hates having to fucking clean up yet another one of her messes, but he has his girls to think about.

“I heard Carol drive into Rodney’s car, and saw you start to hide the evidence.” Tears start to stream down your face, as you realize just how much danger you may be in.

Good. Now that you’ve admitted what you’ve seen, he can make sure you keep it quiet. Dave reaches out and captures your jaw in his hand. Leaning in threateningly, he grunts. “But you aren’t going to say anything, are you?”

The yelp you make as his hand harshly squeezes your jaw makes Carol squeal with laughter, but you block it out, concentrating on forcing out a small ‘no, sir’ as your tears begin to fall even harder, and your sobs grow louder.

He watches you for a moment. Not particularly enjoying the tears or the distress in your eyes, but he can’t risk his wife being arrested. “Good.” His tone softens slightly and his thumb brushes the bone of your jaw slightly. “Always knew you were smart.”

You nod your head to acknowledge that he just spoke to you, his fingertips are still gently brushing against your jaw as you stare into his eyes. “I promise I won’t say a thing.”

“You promise huh?” Dave snorts, admiring how innocent you are. “I think I’m gonna need a little more reassurance than that.”

“I’ll sign an NDA,” you stutter, “I’ll do anything.” Carol's cruel laughter makes you shudder, but it just makes Dave rub your chin a little harder.

“No, I don’t think that will work.” He doesn’t know how he should keep you quiet, just that you need to stay that way. “Maybe I should just make the problem go away.” He threatens.

You start to shake your head and pull away, the fear evident in your eyes, “No… no… what does that even mean?”

“What do you think that it means?” He asks, his voice deceptively soft.

“Getting rid of me,” you say almost silently, the tone of your voice softer than a whisper.

“I don’t want to do that.” He admits. “So what is going to keep your pretty little mouth shut for the rest of your life?”

“I’ll sign whatever you want,” you say again, not really sure what he means.

“No.” He shakes his head. “I need something on you. Something you don’t want to get out.” He decides, smirking slightly.

“Like what?” You say, with a look of confusion plastered on your face.

“I’ll take pictures of you.” He decides, figuring you are - if not a virgin, close to it. You would be mortified if naked pictures of you were released to your family. “And if you breathe a word, I send them to every family member you have.”

“What?” Carol scoffs out from behind him. “I’ll take them. You are not seeing her naked.”

You remain silent as you listen to them go back and forth, unsure what to say, wanting to refuse but fear keeping your lips firmly closed.

“I told you I would handle this.” Dave hisses. “So shut up while I handle it.”

“Handle it then,” she growls back at him, “But I will handle taking any photos.” She stares at you with a look of disgust on her face as she shakes her head. “Plus I doubt she’s ever had a man as attractive as you see her naked before and I don’t want the desperate little slut trying to tempt you.”

“She’s a virgin.” Dave grunts, even though he doesn’t know that for certain. “Only slut in this room is you.”

“I-I don’t think that’s necessary,” you start to say, voice trembling as you try to find some confidence, they’re right but you don’t want to admit it to them, “I won’t say anything and let’s be honest… even if I did no one would believe me.”

“Aw bless her,” Carol mocks looking over at Dave, “Don’t worry honey, we know someone like you couldn’t handle someone like my Dave. And he’s not available anyway.”

Dave shakes his head, holding his hand up to silence his wife. “Then tell me what will keep you quiet.” He demands, his dark eyes on you.

You look over at Carol and see the cruel smirk on her face and the words just fall from your mouth and float heavily in the air.

“You. I want one night with you.”

“Absolutely not,” Carol bellows at you from across the table, “How dare you!”

“Shut the fuck up.” Dave snaps, whipping his head around and glaring at Carol until she sits back. While she’s smug towards you, she’s also just slightly afraid of him. When he’s satisfied that she will be quiet, he turns back towards you. “What did you say?”

You concentrate on him, refusing to look back over at her despite her yelling. “I want a night with you.” You squirm in your seat under his stare, the expression on his face neutral as he watches you.

“A night for what?” He demands, wanting to hear you say it out loud. Carol huffs and grumbles under her breath beside him but he ignores her as he watches you.

“I want you to fuck me,” you say as quietly as you can. Your fingernails digging into your thighs to stop yourself shivering with anxiety.

“She wouldn’t know what to do with you,” Carol taunts cruelly. Furious at what she’s hearing.

“Neither did you.” Dave snorts, looking over at his wife and giving you a moment since you look like you are about to pass out. The idea has merit and his cock twitches when he thinks about ruining you.

“Maybe before we do anything you can take that picture,” you say, unable to meet his eyes.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Before, during, and after I’m done with you.” He corrects.

“You’re speaking like you’re going along with this madness,” Carol spits at Dave.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Dave asks, smirking slightly. “How many people have you fucked over the last eight years?”

You watch as she incoherently mutters something in response under her breath. Still squirming in your seat as you think about Dave’s hands roaming over your body.

“You thought I didn’t know?” Dave scoffs, chuckling under his breath. “Sweetheart, I know exactly how many dicks you’ve taken, how many times you’ve taken them. Why shouldn’t I wreck our pretty little neighbor to save your skin?”

“So is this happening?” Your timid voice asks, as they take a break from going at each other's throats.

“No,” Carol screeches back, “Dave is going to pull out his checkbook and write you a pretty little cheque and you’re going to keep your mouth quiet or I'm going to inform every woman in this neighbourhood what a nasty little whore you are.”

“No you won’t.” Dave growls at Carol. “You can have all the dick you want but I cant fuck her?” He snorts. “Go wait at the house.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” She growls at him, before looking you up and down one more time. “You really think you can handle a night with him, sweetheart? He’ll be bored senseless within the first ten minutes.”

“We’ll see,” you say quietly, “Maybe I'll surprise us both.”

“Go to the fucking house, Carol.” Dave hisses. “Or shut your fucking mouth. You’re the reason this is even fucking happening.” He’ll blame her, making sure she won’t try to blame you. “If you hadn’t fucked up, she wouldn’t be in a position to ask for sex.”

Your eyes remain focusing on him as she spews some colourful language in your direction before storming out the kitchen and out of the house.

“Now.” Dark, amused eyes turn towards you. He has to admire the gumption of your demand. “What makes you think that fucking me will keep that mouth of yours shut?” He asks. “Just having my cock in it?”

“You can take the photos,” you say, with a shrug, “I know the hell she’d cause for me and my family if I was to ever say a single word.”

“Why do you want me to fuck you?” He asks seriously. Wanting to know your reasoning behind this.

“She’s getting what she wants, my silence. Figured I’d ask for something that I’ve always wanted… You.” With a shaky breath, you reach your arm out to touch him, “Everyone wants you. You can’t pretend that women don’t throw themselves at you.”

“Everyone doesn’t want me.” Dave shakes his head. Some women might be attracted to him, but he also scares some off. “But if you want me, I have to ask what’s wrong with you?” He smirks.

“Read too many filthy stories,” you say with a giggle, “I don’t know. Lonely I guess.”

“I’m not the easiest to take.” He warns you. “And I like to fuck hard.”

A gasp escapes you at the way he’s speaking to you, but you can’t ignore the way your body reacts to him. “One night. I’m yours to do as you please with.”

Sitting back, he rocks his jaw as he contemplates it. “Are you on birth control?” He demands.

“No,” you admit, “But I can show you that I’m clean. I’ve nev- I can get Plan B and you can watch me take it… That’s if you don’t want to use a condom.”

“I’m not going to use a condom.” Dave decides. “And I’m going to fill two out of your three holes with my cum.” He smirks. “I’ll let you guess which two.”

“Oh,” you breathe out, clearly nervous but excited too. “When? Do I need to do anything to prepare?”

He snorts and reminds himself that you are innocent. “Show up when I call you.” He tells you, standing up and towering over you. “And forget what you saw Tuesday.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, standing up and studying his face for a few seconds. “I saw nothing.”

“Good girl.” He turns around and starts striding to the door, aware that his wife would be spoiling for a fight and he wants to get it over with before the girls come home from their Nana’s house. “I’ll be seeing you.”

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” you say softly, watching as he leaves.

It’s a quick walk back to his house, sighing heavily before he opens the door and steps inside.

You immediately throw yourself back down onto the sofa and question whether any of that really happened and you really asked to have sex with Dave York.

“Are you fucking serious?” Carol screeches as she watches Dave stride into the kitchen. “Are you actually considering fucking that little whore?”

Dave pins her with a hot glare. “What do you suggest, Carol?” He hisses. “I’ve got to clean up your mess, remember?”

“That doesn’t mean you get to make a mess with her,” she yells. “You’re not doing it, you can keep up the pretense and then force her to sign an NDA.”

“I’m done with your shit.” He huffs, striding over and grabbing her shoulders and shaking her. “You’ve been nothing but a fucking bitch, and this is your fucking mess!”

“Temper temper, Dave, we both know who’ll end up with the girls if this goes sour.” She says with a smirk, before stepping back and walking towards the cupboard with the wine glasses. “If you fuck her, i’ll take you for everything you’ve got.”

“I’ve got evidence, Carol.” Dave warns you. “Photos, texts, recorded conversations of you cheating.”

“Bullshit,” she says with a cruel laugh, before skulking upstairs with a bottle of wine tucked under her arm.

Dave growls, slapping a coffee mug to the side and wondering what the fuck is going on. Unable to believe that things have gotten so twisted.

A few days have passed since you saw Dave and Carol at your house and you’ve heard nothing. You figure that he changed his mind, and have decided to put the whole thing behind you and move on with the hopes that Carol doesn’t attempt to take revenge over your suggestion.

Laying down in front of the TV the sound of your phone vibrating on the coffee table makes you jump.

‘Tomorrow night’ He sends you a text. ‘’Come over at 8. I’ll be taking you to a hotel.’

‘Is there anything I need to bring’’ You type back immediately, excitement swirling around in your tummy.

‘Your cunt.’ Dave snorts to himself as he hits send.

‘I’ll double check I’ve got it before I leave.’ You send back with a giggle. You decide that you’ll get up early and pop to the mall and buy something special for the occasion.

Dave hums at your smart ass reply, ignoring the way Carol huffs and puffs across from him. She’s pissed but she can just stay mad for all he cares.

You settle on an early night and sleep comes easily to you. You should feel guilty, but you don’t. It’s one night in exchange for keeping a secret for the rest of your life.

Between his wife’s cold shoulder last night and her quiet sullen expression this morning, Dave has had time to muse over what he will do. To contemplate it, rejecting several thoughts, he decides that he will just decide in the moment based of how you respond to him. He’s not a monster, he isn’t going to do things you don’t like, but you chose him. Your silence is worth getting some satisfaction.

The morning flies by and after a very expensive trip to the mall you find yourself clock watching, fighting the nerves and anxiety that are bubbling in your tummy. Wondering if you’re really going to go through with this.

Dave watches as you come and go from your house, working from home and he wonders where you’ve gone. He knows he could quickly find out, but half the fun is the wondering.

After a long soak in the bath and dressing in the new white lingerie you picked up that morning, you pull on your sundress and pack a few things for the hotel. Not convinced you’ll be sleeping but you pack some pajamas anyway, before slowly making your way to the York residence just before 8.

“I can’t believe you are going to do this.” Carol hisses as Dave picks up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

“Feel free to call the police department and confess to a hit and run while drinking.” Dave snorts, opening the door and looking back at his wife.

You see him at his door, and you shiver with anticipation. You pick up your pace a little until you’re waiting patiently next to his car.

“Get in.” He tells you as he unlocks the door.

“Yes sir,” you say with a shy smile, before climbing in.

Dave hums, taking his bag into the back seat before he climbs behind the wheel.

“So, how are you?” You ask after a few minutes of driving in silence. Clearly nervous and wondering if he can tell.

“Surprised that you are here.” Dave tells you. “Honestly.”

A small giggle slips through your lips and you see his brow raise in response and you’re almost certain his lips began to curl upwards before falling back into their natural state of neutrality. “I’m not… I thought you weren’t ever going to text me though.”

“Why is that?” He looks at you at the stop sign at the end of the road.

“I don’t know,” you say with a shrug, “I guess I figured you already knew I have no intentions of saying anything.”

“I figured that out the second your chin trembled in my hand.” Dave chuckles and sends you a small smirk before he turns to the right and starts driving towards the hotel he had booked.

“Mhmm,” you say, before nervously biting on your bottom lip. “You definitely had me in the palm of your hand.”

“Gotta say I’m surprised you came out and just said that you wanted me to fuck you to keep silent.” He snorts. “Thought Carol was going to stroke out.”

“Yeah, I still can’t believe I said it either.” You admit. “I can’t believe she didn’t punch me.”

“Fuck her.” He rolls his eyes. “She deserves it for being a fucking cunt who acts like she’s got a get out of jail free card for everything.”

“Well then I guess it’s time you got a reward for being such an attentive husband.” You reach over and gently squeeze his knee before letting your hand fall back into your lap.

“Are you a virgin?” Dave asks, wanting to know if it was true. He had said you were, but he didn’t know for sure.

“Is it a problem for you if I am?” You ask quietly. A little nervous about his answer, but figuring that he already knows anyway.

“No.” Dave shakes his head and his cock is throbbing at the thought. “I will just not ram my cock into you. I don’t want you to hate fucking.” He snorts.

“I won’t mind,” you say with another giggle, “I should admit that I’ve thought about it… Thought about you.”

“What have you thought about?” He asks, wanting to know how deep this little crush goes.

You moan as his hand grips onto your thigh, “Dirty thoughts. There was this story I read where the Dad sold his daughter to a crime boss to pay off his debts…”

“Yeah?” He chuckles.” Was I the crime boss? Taking the innocent girl and ruining her?”

“Yes.” Your hand comes down on top of his and gently moves it higher. “Took her virginity and became addicted to her pussy.”

“Hmmmm and you think I’ll become addicted to yours?” He muses.

“Maybe.” You inch his hand up just enough that his fingertips can brush the lace material of your bright white panties, wondering how he’ll react to the wet patch in the center.

“It would have to be pretty good.” He warns you. “Besides, why would you want a man who will cheat on his wife?”

“I don’t think you would do it if she hadn’t pushed you this far,” you say with a shrug, gently letting go of his hand.

“That upset you.” He doesn’t ask, says it as a fact as he turns into the hotel parking lot. He didn’t choose a seedy motel, the nice, modern chain hotel will provide little luxuries and complete privacy.

You don’t say anything, you simply offer a small smile before appreciating the fact he’d clearly put thought into where you were going. “I’m not a silly little girl,” you say as he pulls into a spot, “I don’t expect you to fall in love with me or for anything to come from this, Dave. I know this just for one night.”

“And yet, you’re wearing sexy lingerie.” His hand slides back between your thighs to press against your wet clit.

“I thought you’d like it,” you admit, before moaning his name softly.

“What color is it?” He asks before he chuckles. “White. Right?”

You nod your head, feeling slightly embarrassed at how predictable you are. His demeanour is slightly sharper than before, and you can’t help but ask, “Do you not want to do this?”

“I am trying to figure out if you really want to do this.” Dave tells you seriously.

“I do.”

“Good.” He growls and pulls his hand away. “If you regret it, there’s not a fucking thing I can do after I’m buried deep in your little pussy.”

“I won’t regret it,” you say softly, before cupping his face, “I promise.” In that moment you can’t help but wonder when the last time someone was gentle with him, his body seems to immediately stiffen as your fingertips rub gentle circles into his cheeks.

Dave nods, trying not to pull away from your fingers but they feel too good against his skin. Foreign to a man who spends so much time in darkness.

“Shall we go in?” You ask with a genuine smile, “We don’t have to rush into anything.”

“I’ve already checked in.” He tells you, holding up his phone. “Digital key.”

“Perfect.” You unbuckle your seatbelt and grab your overnight bag and step out the car, waiting for Dave to lead the way.

You are an eager thing, he has to give you that. He claims his own bag and walks around the car, placing his hand on your lower back and guiding you towards the doors.

You love the way his hand feels on you, and wonder how he's planning on taking things tonight. "I think tonight is going to be a good night," you say with a smile as he leads you to the elevators.

"Have you eaten, or were you too nervous?" He asks once you are in the elevator and the doors are closed. The button for the eighth floor is pressed and he looks over at where you are standing close to him.

"I had lunch but nothing else," you tell him, resisting the urge to thread your fingers with his.

"Do you want to eat after?" He won't feed you before. Shooting you a grin, he shrugs. "If you eat now, you might throw up."

"Sounds good," you say with a smile. "I'm never one to turn down food."

"We'll order room service." He decides.

"Perfect." The elevator arrives on your floor and he gestures for you to step out first and you wait patiently for him to lead you to your room.

Dave pulls out his phone, opening the app and walking towards the room so he can open it with the digital key.

You step into the room and admire how nice it is, the king bed in the centre of the room looks nice and inviting. He stands in the doorway and watches you as you look around, "How do you want to do this?" You ask as you spin on your heel to talk to him.

He has to admire how eager you seem to be. Smirking slightly, he lets the door clothes and then flips the lock behind him. "You tell me, sweetheart." He chuckles. "This was your demand. How do you want my cock."

"However you're willing to give it to me," you say, watching as he slowly walks towards you.

"I think I want you to strip for me." He tells you as he brushes past you to sit down in a chair that he pulls next to the bed. Arching a brow at you when he settles down.

"Yes, sir," you say, before unbuttoning your jacket and placing it on the bed. "I've never done this before." You take a few small steps until you're in front of his chair and wait for him to tell you to start.

"Take your time." He tells you. "Do it slowly."

You nod and flash him a small smile before slowly reaching behind to unzip your sundress. Letting the straps slowly fall off your shoulders as the billowy material starts to fall down your body, revealing the brand new lingerie set you had bought earlier that day.

"So innocent." He murmurs, taking in the white lace and yet there is something so dirty about you. You pushed for this, knowing he's married. You want him, however you can have him. "Hmmmm stay just like that." He tells you as he reaches for his belt.

"I got this just for you," you tell him, as your fingertips trail against the soft material. "Do you like it?"

"It's pretty." He coos, smirking as your fingers trail over your body. Something you've obviously done a time or two because you aren't shy about it. "Why don't you come open my pants for me, Princess."

"Yes sir." Walking towards him, you bite your lip in anticipation, and slowly sink down onto your knees in front of him. Your fingers hover for a few seconds before finding the button and popping it open.

Dave watches you, under hooded eyes as you bite and lick your bottom lip. Your fingers fumbling slightly as you drag his zipper down. "Take your time."

You nod your head and wait for him to lift his hips, so you drag down his pants. "What do you want me to do first?"

"What do you want to do?" He asks. "I want you to suck my cock."

"I can do that," you say, as you pull down his pants and boxers in one clean sweep. The sweetest oooooh he's ever heard comes out of you as you see his cock for the first time. Thick, long, rock hard with the tip weeping.

Dave watches you, enjoying the way your eyes widen and you unconsciously lick your lips. Innocent. At least you are innocent enough to fake it. He covers your hand with his and slowly starts to move your hand along his shaft.

"It's so thick," you say, as he helps you increase the pace, "Is it going to fit?"

"It's gonna fit. It'll be a tight little squeeze around my cock." He grunts, twitching in your hand.

"Yeah?" You ask before squeezing him a little tighter, and loving the groan he gifts you in response. "My little pussy is going to fit around this gorgeous cock like a glove."

You might be a virgin, but you've obviously touched a cock before. He grunts, wondering what little boy you touched and how quickly he came. "You are going to scream before you leave this suite."

"Yes, but only your name," you say with a little giggle. "Tell me how good your cock feels in my hand, sir."

"Sir?" His brow arches up and he chuckles. "Do you have a little bit of an authority kink?" He asks, figuring that you would be attracted to him if that was the case. He's been told he has a commanding presence.

"I don't know," you admit with a shrug, still stroking his cock. "I guess I just like the idea of you in charge."

"Open your mouth." He reaches out and grasps your chin. "Taste my cock."

Your mouth falls open immediately, tongue dipping out to lip the head. You've never sucked cock before but you've watched a lot of videos and read a lot of smut, so you remember not to take too much at once and to swallow around him.

"G-good." He grunts as your tongue flutters over the tip and your lips wrap around him. "How do I taste?"

You pull off him with a loud pop, "First cock I've ever sucked, and I already know that no other will compare… Delicious."

He grunts, and his cock twitches in your hand. "Good. Suck it some more." He orders roughly.

You take the base of him in your hand again and wrap your lips around the head, hollowing your cheeks before bobbing up and down slowly, feeling your arousal drip down your thighs as he groans in pleasure.

Dave lets you work at your own pace, slowly exploring him and getting comfortable with his size. You are probably soaking through your panties as you kneel in front of him. "Do you like that? Sucking my cock."

Not wanting to stop, you simply look up at him through your lashes and nod. You take him a little deeper and moan at the stretch, eyes filling with water as fat tears threaten to stain your cheeks.

He can't take his eyes off of you, eyes watering and about to spill down. He wants to see it. He rocks his hips up and pushes his cock deeper into your mouth and grunting when you gag.

You splutter around him, tears now streaming down your face as he grunts something filthy at you. It's overwhelming but you want more, the need to be at his mercy growing stronger as your panties get wetter.

"Slide back." Dave orders with a growl, suddenly wanting to be on his feet over you. "Now."

You obey his command immediately, letting him fall out of your mouth before sliding back and waiting patiently for your next order.

"Open your mouth, stick out your tongue." He stands, his pants shuffling as he moves forward, stroking his cock that is covered with your saliva. "I'm gonna fuck your throat, pretty girl."

You swallow hard at his words and the filthy smirk that spreads across his face tells you that he heard it. You place your hands in your lap and open your mouth, making eye contact as you stick out your tongue.

He smirks at how quickly you follow his order. How eagerly you obey him. "Good girl." He grunts, slapping his cock onto your tongue and then rocking his hips forward to thrust into your mouth.

One of your hands comes up and rests gently on his thigh as he starts to fuck into your mouth, you focus on hollowing you cheeks and swallowing around him. You gag around him as he starts to pick up his pace and you think he likes this, you think he likes seeing your innocent face overwhelmed by his thick cock.

Dave works up a quick pace, moving his hand to the back of your head and pressing you harder onto his cock. Starting to really fuck your mouth to see how much you will drool and choke on him.

The noises you make are filthy, your fingernails dig into his thighs as you gasp for breath, after a few moments you push your head back and pull off him with a loud gasp. Still connected to him with a line of saliva.

"Good girl." He pulls his hips back and he leans down, opening his own mouth and spitting, wanting you to swallow his spit.

"Delicious." You rise up so you're standing toe to toe with him, and you decide to make a move. Wrapping your arms around his neck, and pressing a fleeting kiss to his lips.

"Why do I like every other man is just going to be a disappointment when compared to you?"

"Because they are." He chuckles, sliding his hands down and squeezing your ass. "Now, stretch out on the bed and watch while I get more comfortable."

"Yes sir." Climbing onto the bed, you make yourself comfortable. Letting your fingertips trail down your body as you watch him.

Dave isn't wearing a button down shirt, so he doesn't get to show you how slowly he can undress. But he is making you wait as he slides his shirt up over his head.

"You're so sexy," you whisper, as he starts to shred his clothing.

He chuckles, flattered by your praise because he knows he's not in as good of shape as he used to be. No need when you aren't in the military anymore. He kicks off his shoes and strips off the pants that are already around his ankles.

"What do you want to do to me first?" You ask, as you push yourself up onto your elbows and admire the view.

"Undo your top." He grunts as he starts moving towards the bed. "Want to see your tits."

You reach around and undo your bra, letting the straps fall off your shoulders before pulling it off.

"Fuck." He hisses, imagining biting and sucking on the sweet little nipples you've exposed. "I'll enjoy cumming on them." He tells you. "Turn over, your ass up in the air and your face down on the bed."

You do as he commands, ignoring the way your cheeks burn a little. Waiting patiently to see what he's going to do next.

Kneeling on the bed behind you, he reaches out to caress your ass, enjoying the sight of your panties stretched over your ass. Swatting your cheek, one then the other sharply with his palm. "Fucking dirty."

"You going to keep these panties?" You ask as you lift your face off the pillow. "Something special for you to remember this night."

"Might." He hums. "Might just tie you up with them." He threatens lightly, knowing that he won't.

"You can do anything you want." You say as he softly massages your ass. "Are you taking me like this first?"

"No." He's not going to take you like this. His fingers curl under the waist of your panties and he starts to drag them down.

"Ohhh," you moan as he exposes your dripping wet core. "Dave."

"Nothing to moan about yet." He huffs, lowering himself down to eye level with your cunt. "Yet." Lunging forward, he spreads your cheeks and dives into your cunt from behind.

"Ohhh fuck," you yelp, his tongue beginning the most delicious assault on your cunt. "Don't stop."

He grunts, not bothering to pull away to tell you he has no intention of stopping. Making sure his tongue curls filthily. Licking you from clit to puckered hole.

"Daaaave," you scream, as he starts lapping against your clit, your thighs begin to shake as he pushes you towards paradise.

He actually enjoys eating pussy. Never minding it when his wife wanted until it began to be a one sided thing where she would make excuse after excuse not to suck his dick. So he had stopped doing it. Now, he is ravenous, licking through your folds and greedy to hear your moans.

"How do I taste?" you ask, mimicking his own questions from moments before.

He grunts, flicking his tongue against your clit and slapping your thigh. Enjoying your cheekiness as he works his jaw, wanting you to scream.

"Tell me," you beg, as he starts sucking your clit, pulling you closer and closer to that edge.

"Like Christmas." He grunts, pulling his lips away for a moment before he slides his tongue back up to your quivering entrance to tongue fuck you.

The noise that you make is indescribable, filthy yet so innocent as he starts to thrust his tongue in and out of you. Your finger finds your throbbing clit and you start to rub slow circles into it as he takes you apart with his tongue.

Dave's hand smacks yours, pulling it away. You aren't going to cum from anything you do to your body if you are in bed with him. You wanted him, you're going to get him.

You yelp as he slaps away your hand and he growls into your core. "Dave, please," you beg, over and over, not sure what you're pleading for but needing more.

Instead of chastising you, he gives you what you need. Sliding his tongue out of your dripping, quivering cunt, he moves back down to your clit and pushes two thick fingers inside you to replace his tongue.

The stretch from his fingers makes you sink your teeth into your lip, his are so much thicker than yours and it's almost too much. His tongue laps at you like he's a starved man, and it isn't long before your arms are threatening to give way and your thighs are shaking from the pleasure ripping its way through your body, and you're unable to speak even a single word as pleasure overwhelms you.

Dave hums against your clit, providing that slight vibration against your bundle of nerves as he sucks again. Not able to see your face, he's feeling and hearing your reaction and it's something beautiful and satisfying.

"I think I'm gonn-oohhh," you gasp before cumming hard on his tongue and around his fingers. Squeezing them so tightly it swear you hear him groan. "Fuck."

He isn't greedy right now. He doesn't pull his fingers back and immediately move. Working you through it with slow pumps of his fingers and flicks of his tongue.

"All other men are officially ruined," you breathe out with a giggle, coming down from your high and loving the unexpected soft attention from him as you do so.

He chuckles as he pulls away, straightening and curling his fingers slightly before he pulls them out of your cunt and dragging you up off the bed to offer them to you to taste.

You wonder if he heard you wince as he removed his fingers, not used to the thickness of him. A smile spreads across your face before you take his fingers in your mouth, sucking gently before pulling off with a pop. "I read a story once, where she tasted them mixed together... Can we try that later?"

He hums, smirking slightly as his other hand cups your breast. "You are a curious little slut." He teases, not meaning it negatively. He likes that you are curious. That you want to try all your desires. Pre-cum from his cock smears across your lower back.

"I plan on making the most of my one night with you," you admit, before turning around to face him.

"Interesting." He smirks and squeezes your ass. "Now, do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes, please." You reply excitedly, "Fuck me, sir."

It's not exactly gentle, the way he pushes you down onto the bed, although he makes sure you are comfortable before he follows. Sliding between your quickly spreading thighs, his hips are cradled by yours and he lays his throbbing cock against your mound as he slowly gives you his weight, letting you feel him spread over you.

"Dave," you moan, as he throbs against your clit. Nerves dancing around in your tummy as you get ready to take your first ever cock, "Please."

"Please what?" He teases again, brushing his lips against yours while he rocks his hips playfully. "You want something, you have to tell me."

"Kiss me," it's not what you were begging for, but the way his lips brushed against yours, has you needing more.

He knows that wasn't what you meant to say, but he chuckles. Giving into your pretty begging, he kisses you and slides his tongue along your lips.

You can't help but moan against his lips, before opening yours and letting his tongue gain entry. Your hand finds its way into his hair and you press him closer, the kiss becoming more frantic as you do so.

He doesn't rush you. Making out like he's not aching to sink into your virgin walls and claim you. His tongue caresses yours and he groans into your mouth.

Your spare hand trails down his back, your fingernails lightly digging in and leaving small scratches and marks wherever they can. "Fuck me, Dave," you beg softly against his lips, before resuming your kiss.

Pulling his hips back slightly, Dave moves his cock with his hand, rubbing it up and down your folds before he presses against your entrance. "With pleasure."

You take a deep breath, ready for him to shove his cock into you, but he's much slower than you're anticipating. Pushing in inch by inch and letting you adjust to the width of him.

Even if his hand was forced, he's not going to make this any harsher than it needs to be. Slowly rocking his hips as he fills you. Keeping his lips on yours as he gathers you closely.

It makes you hiss as he stretches you open, your fingernails digging a little harsher into his skin until he fills you to the hilt.

"Not a virgin anymore." He murmurs against your lips, making sure that he doesn't move while you get used to the feeling of him inside you.

"Thank you," you reply, "You feel so big, Dave."

"I am big." He hums, not boasting but he's got a good sized cock.

"And you’re all mine tonight," you say with a giggle, "You can move. I want you to feel good."

Making a sound of agreement, Dave starts to move Grinding deeper before pulling his hips back to start a slow and steady rhythm. While he wants to wreck you, there is time for that later. He needs you to get used to his cock and enjoy the ride.

You're surprised at how quickly the pleasure drowns out the ache of pain. "Feels so good," you murmur as he slightly increases his pace, searching for that spot inside of you. "Fuck. Fuck. Fuck."

He rolls his hips down, rewarded when you squeal and your walls clench down around his cock. "There it is." He groans with a grin on his face as he makes sure to hit against that spot again and again with every thrust.

You swear that you can see stars as he notches against a part of you that you've never been able to reach. Your walls greedily suction around him as he pulls out your pleasure with ease. "Tell me how I feel," you beg, needing to hear how good you're making him feel.

"Tightest little cock sleeve I've ever been in." He groans, being purposefully filthy and moaning in your ear. "So goddamn hot and tight around me." He hisses when you clench down around him in response to his filthy words. "Gonna fuck you all night, just leave you on my cock."

"Please," you gasp out at his words, camping down around him as he notches against paradise. "Fill me up, make this pussy yours."

"Gonna." He grits out, clenching his teeth together and snarling when you wrap your legs around his waist. His next thrust is harsher than he meant, unable to hold back as he surges forward and fills you with his cock.

You cry out as he snaps his hips, and he immediately covers your mouth with his. Gripping onto to you as he rocks his hips, fucking into that spot whilst possessively claiming your lips.

He keeps his thrusts sharper, enjoying the way that you respond and clench around him. Loving how your nails scratch down his back and mark him up for Carol to see. He groans into your mouth and reaches down to hitch your leg higher on his hip, wanting to get even deeper.

You feel yourself teetering on the edge, seconds away from falling over. The sound of him grunting your name sends you flying, white hot pleasure ripping through you as you scream his name, your cunt clamps down hard around his throbbing cock before flooding around him.

He hadn't expected you to cum so quickly but he groans, rocking you through it with the same pace that had worked you up to your orgasm. Watching as you thrash under him and feeling the small catch in his throat when you whimper his name after screaming it.

"Fuck," you choke out, as he continues to chase his high. Your pussy still fluttering around his throbbing cock as you come down from your high. "You're incredible," you murmur against his lips, "So fucking incredible."

"You're incredible." He grunts, knowing that you want reassurance that you are good. "Gonna make me cum if I'm not careful."

"I want you to cum," you say, bumping your nose against his,

"Fuck, I want to feel you dripping from me.

You are filthy and he loves that. Twitching inside you as he chuckles. "Then you'll drip me while I recover." He promises, quickening his pace to one that he wanted to fuck you at.

He punches the air from your lungs as he chases his high, fucking you into the mattress as you bite down onto his shoulders uncaring about the marks you'll leave. You want to tell him that he feels better than you imagined, how all the books and videos on Bellessa House didn't prepare you for just how incredible it all feels.

Dave's hands run down your thighs, pulling them up more as he snaps his hips down, fucking furiously into you.Wanting to fuck away the traitorous thoughts in his head. He grunts. "Fuck. Shit-you- tight."

The pace is dizzying, the pleasure accompanied by a little twang of pain making your head spin. Opening your eyes you concentrate on his face, his pupils blown wide with lust as he grunts over and over, his pace getting a little sloppier with every thrust as he nears his high.

He feels his body starting to tighten. Balls pulling up against his body and he hisses out a curse as his hips stutter. "Fuck." Thrusting twice more, he grinds his cock deep and moans your name as he paints your walls with hot spurts of cum, emptying himself into you.

You moan louder with every spurt of cum that he fills you up with, never wanting to lose this feeling of being caught beneath him. "That was incredible," you murmur after a few moments of panting and catching breaths. "Thank you."

He hums and looks down at you with a small smirk. "You're welcomed?" He asks. "Maybe I should be thanking you."

"No," you say with a little shake of your head, "That was perfect. Better than I had ever imagined. How are you feeling?" You ask as he hooks your leg around his hip and lays down next to you, keeping his cock nestled inside.

He snorts, rolling his eyes at your question. "I just took your virginity." He reminds you. "I should be asking you how you feel." You shrug slightly and he sighs. "Surprisingly good for being the first time l've cheated on my wife." He tells you.

"Do you regret it?" You ask, stroking his face and trying to ignore the way it stung a little as he rolled his eyes at you. "Are you happy you came?"

"I don't regret it." He promises, leaning into your touch. "And I am happy that I came. Pun completely intended." He jokes.

"Good," you say with a smile, your fingertips rubbing the softest circles into his face. "I'm really happy that you came, I see how stressed you've been... And I just feel the need to take some of that away from you."

"You see that I'm stressed?" His brow furrows in surprise, sure that he had carried the stress well. At least Carol had not asked about it in a long time.

"You carry it on your shoulders," you say, before pressing a light kiss to the tip of his nose. "And in your eyes."

"Why would you care?" He seriously doesn't understand why you would want to ease his stress.

You immediately notice the change in him, and you worry you've overstepped. "You just work so hard... I'm sorry."

"No." Dave reaches for your hand when you pull it back, keeping it on his face. "I don't mean it like that." He explains. "I just don't know why you would care about me."

"Why not? You work so hard to look after your family." You resume drawing the little circles on his face with your fingertips, "I'm not saying I didn't want to do this for selfish reasons, but really I just wanted to give you some relief."

It's quite possibly the most touching thing that someone has done for him in a long time. Despite the headache he got from Carol, he feels relaxed. He hums and rolls onto his back, pulling you on top of him. "Then you need to keep relieving me tonight." He grunts, eyes closed and a hint of a smile on his face.

"However you need," you say with a giggle, before bending over and recapturing his lips with a bruising kiss.

"Are you okay?" He asks softly, wanting to make sure that he hadn't hurt you.

"I'm really fucking good," you say, before nudging your nose against his. "Better than I have been in a long time."

"Good." He accepts that, sighing softly as he wonders what the fuck will happen now. He's enjoying being here with you. Liking how you are soft and sweet with him.

"Do you wanna order room service, baby?" You ask, loving the way he pulls you even closer. "See if I can make you cum again before it arrives?"

"What do you want to eat?" He asks. "Might be harder for you to make me cum the second time around."

"I'm up for a challenge, and mhmmm... breakfast sounds good."

"Are you one that can eat breakfast anytime?" He asks with a chuckle, thinking of all the times Alice demands pancakes for dinner.

"I could eat you anytime," you giggle, "But yes. IHOP is my idea of a romantic date."

He snorts and shakes his head. "So I shouldn't tell you that I make better pancakes, hmmm?"

"Not unless you're planning on making me some," you murmur against his lips, "Order food, baby."

"You have to move off me." He reminds you in a teasing tone as he squeezes your hips.

"Hurry," you say, before moving off him and shooting him an exaggerated pout. "Extra maple syrup."

The menu is by the phone on the desk across from the bed.

Striding over to it nude, Dave is very aware of your eyes on him as he picks up the receiver and connects to the kitchen to place the order.

Your eyes roam up and down his body, taking in every delicious inch. He's gorgeous. Broad and begging to be touched... tasted.

He orders you pancakes, extra maple syrup with eggs and a mimosa. A steak for himself, with eggs and toast to keep with the breakfast theme. Turning back towards you as he finishes up the order. "Anything else?"

"Just you," you say with a smirk.

Rolling his eyes, he pulls the phone back up to his mouth.

"That's it. Thanks." Hanging up, he watches you watch him for a moment, finding the fascination in your eyes slightly thrilling.

"Come here," you tell him softly.

He could resist, probably should reestablish the power dynamic but he finds that he doesn't want to. Humming quietly, he walks towards you, keeping his eyes on you.

"Kiss me, Dave York, and then tell me what you want me to do to you."

You are an intoxicating mixture of submissive and demanding, making it hard to judge what will come out of your mouth. "If you want me to fuck you again, you better suck my cock."

The moment he's laying down, you're crawling down the bed and positioning yourself between his legs. He's half hard and you feel your core get wetter at the thought of him hardening in your mouth. "With pleasure."

Eagerly, you take his cock into your mouth, making him groan before you pull off of him. He grunts, but is satisfied when you lick up the length of him. "Fuck. Greedy little thing, aren't you?" He huffs happily.

You hum happily around his length, gently sucking his cock and loving how it feels as he gets harder and harder in your mouth.

Dave reaches down, his hand smoothing over your hand and around to your jaw. Feeling it open and work as you bob up and down on his cock. "Does it turn you on?"

You nod yes, too greedy to pull off to speak. This is the only night you get him and you refuse to let a moment go to waste. You hollow your cheeks like you've seen in porn and moan in pleasure around him.

"Less suction." He urges you, smirking down at your wide eyes.

"Don't suck my soul out. I don't have one."

You pull off him and shake your head, "Yes you do. No one loves their kids the way you love those girls without a soul, Dave."

"They are my kids." He tells you. "Of course I love them."

"You have a soul, Dave," you say again softly, before taking him back in your mouth. He's fully hard and you're on a race against the clock to get him to cum again before food arrives. You swallow over and over as you take him as deep as you can, trying hard not to gag as you start bobbing up and down.

He watches, groaning when he's bucking his hips up slightly.

"Good girl." He moans your name quietly, feeling his body responding to your eager mouth.

You gently stroke the parts of him you can't fit into your mouth, wanting him to flood your mouth with his cum, needing to make this moment just about him. You double down on your efforts while remaining conscious that you've only done this once before earlier this evening. The groans he rewards you with spurring you on as his hips start to rock in and out of your greedy little mouth.

"Do you want me to cum in your mouth?" Dave grunts, wondering if you want him to fill your pussy again or mouth this time.

The smile that spreads across your face even with your mouth stuffed full of his cock makes him chuckle. You gently nod, not wanting to hurt him, still bobbing up and down. The ache between your legs growing stronger and stronger with every passing second.

His groan of your name is strained, nearly unheard as it's forced from his throat with all the air in his lungs. His body tensing up and his balls pulling tight against his body for the second time tonight.

You hum in delight as he starts to spill down your throat, one of his hands holding your head still as he rocks his hips.

The salty tang of him is addictive and you hope it's not the only time time he'll finish in your mouth tonight. You swallow as much as you can, feeling some slip from the corner of your lips and he fills you up. Each one of his thrusts coming with a raspy groan of pleasure.

You gently pull off him as he hisses from the overstimulation, making eye contact, you gather up the cum that's dripping down your chin and neck and bring it up to your lips, being sure to swallow every drop. "You taste delicious, Mr York."

The knock at the door interrupts you both and Dave springs up. Reaching for his boxers as he looks back at you. "Get under the covers."

"Yes sir," you say with a little giggle, loving how possessive he is.

Dave opens the door, sure that it's not Carol coming to scream at you, he had not let her know where he was taking you. The waiter nods and he backs up to allow him to bring the tray in. "On the table is fine." He tells him, looking at where you're peeking out over the covers.

You avoid eye contact with the waiter, focusing on watching Dave. Your eyes scanning his broad shoulders and feeling yourself grow more desperate to feel him again. You whisper a soft 'thank you' to the waiter as he puts the tray down and makes his way back towards the door.

Only after the lock is flipped again does Dave start to chuckle. "That man wanted to see you so bad, I thought he was going to strain his eyes."

You whip off the covers and raise an eyebrow, "Do you wanna call him back?" You tease as he shakes his head.

"Think I'll keep you to myself." He decides, motioning you over. "Come eat. Don't get dressed."

"Please do," you say as you slide off the bed and stroll over to him. Unashamed of your nakedness in front of him, because you feel so at ease. "I'm starved."

"Good." He winks and starts to pull the covers off the dishes. "If you spill syrup on yourself, I'll just lick it off you."

"Sounds like you're trying to make me spill it." You take a mouthful of the soft fluffy pancakes and moan in delight,

"Second best thing I've tasted this evening."

"What's the first?" He asks, smirking slightly and finding your flirty, playful humor to be far more enjoyable than he had thought you would be. You always seemed so nervous around him.

"I think you know," you say, before reaching over and stealing a fry from his plate. "How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly good." Dave tells you, smirking slightly and pushing his plate towards you. "I don't like being forced to do something, so I had thought I would resent tonight. But I have enjoyed myself."

"Did you really feel forced?" You ask, feeling your face drop.

"I wouldn't have said shit, I can't believe I even suggested it;

I think it was because she was being so mean."

"No." He shakes his head, wishing he hadn't said anything to you. Not liking the way your face has fallen and you look upset. "I don't feel forced. You gave me the excuse to touch you."

"Good," you say quietly, biting down on your bottom lip to stop it from quivering. "I-uh, you know you can leave if you want to? I'll sign anything, I’ll do anything, but I think you already know that I'd never do anything that you could get implicated in and get you in trouble."

"I'm not leaving." Dave assures you. "I think we are past signing anything, don't you?"

"Yes," you reply, a small smile briefly lifting your lips upwards, before you dig back into your food.

"Good." He smirks slightly as he watches you eat. You've got a good appetite.

"What do you want to do after this?" You ask, between bites of pancakes. "I could make you cum again. With my hand this time?"

"You are the one who should tell me how this is going to go." He reminds you. "You are the one without the experience. What do you want to do?"

"I want to ride you."

"Then finish your dinner and I'Il let you climb on top."

"You'll tell me what to do?" You ask, a little embarrassed. "I mean I've seen it in porn, but I want you to feel good."

Dave snorts, nearly choking on his drink and looks over at you to see if you are being serious. "Sweetheart, if your pussy is around my dick, I feel good."

"That's it?" You ask, all wide eyed and hopeful. Gently placing the fork down onto your plate.

He nods, watching you preen under the praise. "You could sit on my cock while you eat and I would be happy."

"Right now, sir?" Your voice softly begs, as you stare into those dark brown eyes.

You continuously surprise him. He pushes back from the table and lifts his hips to take off his boxers. "Come sit."

You push your plate across the table before standing up and stepping towards him. "Yes sir." Grateful that you're still slick enough for him to slide in, you slowly lower yourself as he guides his cock towards your entrance. "Fuck. How do you feel thicker like this?"

The angle is better but he's too busy groaning your name to tell you that. Gripping your hips and closing his eyes in bliss.

"Feel good baby?" You ask, with a giggle. Feeling his thighs tighten beneath you as you clench around him.

"Feels good." Dave breathes out. "How does it feel for you?"

He asks, sliding his hands up to explore your body shamelessly as you sit on his throbbing cock.

"Incredible." Shamelessly you lean your head back and rest it on his shoulder, loving the way his hands feel on you.

"I think we are doing a good job of making the most of this one night," you say before grinding down on him. Clenching as tight as you can around him.

He hisses, jaw clenching at how good it feels. How tight you are gripping him. "Gonna make sure you remember this." He grunts.

"Fuck," you groan, as you rock your hips. His grip on you getting tighter as you rest your head back on his shoulder. "I know you are."

His hand possessively comes back around the front of your waist and holds you tight. Fusing you to him as he snaps his hips hard and fast to see your reaction in his sudden change of pace. Loving the innocent yet filthy moan of his name that he steals from your throat.

Dave digs his fingers into your waist, wanting to leave tender marks for you to remember him by. Bruises that you can press and remember how he had held you, fucked you. "Another moan." He demands, driving his hips up again. "More."

You give into his demand so easily, letting the room fill with the sounds of your pleasure. You push down and meet each thrust of his hips with your own, feeling pleasure course through your body, making your eyes roll back and your clit throb.

This has been to get back at Carol, to give you what you want to shut you up, but right now, this is for him. Watching you start to cum is his own personal little pleasure.

Knowing that he is making your eyes roll back is a thrill.

"Dave," you mumble softly, feeling the coil inside of you threaten to snap and throw you over that edge as he fucks up into you. "Please." You start to beg over and over as it starts to feel all too much but not enough at once.

He hums, continuing to rock up into you at a harsh pace.

Wondering what you are asking him. For him to cum, for him to make you cum again. He hisses out your name and drags you down for a kiss.

His lips are possessive and rough but you love it. His hand grips your jaw as he kisses you hard while continuing to grind his hips.

You murmur his name softly against his plush lips, before interlacing your fingers with his and bringing his hand up to your breast. "Make me yours."

He follows your lead, groping your breast and tangling his tongue against yours again. Taking control and wrapping his other arm around you and lifting you up onto the table, scattering the dishes.

"Tell me what you need," you murmur against his lips, as he tightens the grip he has on you and as you wrap legs around his waist.

Dave shoots to his feet, crowding over you. "Let me-" he grabs your thighs and pulls them up onto your waist. "Hang on."

"Yes sir," you say with a little giggle. "What are we doing?"

You watch his face, as he stares down at you, clearly enjoying the view. The urge to reach up and gently brush his cheek becomes overwhelming but you figure that may be overstepping a line, so you wait patiently for him to make his next move.

He stares for a few moments, rolling his jaw a few times before letting himself go."Tight little pussy," he growls quietly, before cupping your cunt and swiftly moving his hand up to your chest. "Perfect tits." He squeezes your breast roughly for a few moments and quickly let's go so he can grip your trembling jaw.

"Enthusiastic little mouth, you're being absolutely perfect for me... aren't you? Are you trying to make it difficult for me? Make it impossible to keep you for just one night?" You blink up at him, all doe eyed and innocent, staying completely still and silent as his hands roam your body.

Mumbling filth and praises and reminding you that no else has ever touched you how he's touching you right now, no one else has ever buried themselves deep in your perfect cunt and tasted your cum.

"I was furious," Dave admits after a few moments of silence, with a shake of his head. “Another careless mess she left me to clear up. But fuck, this time I might thank her when I get home." He tucks his thumb underneath your jaw and tilts your head up a little, before smashing his lips against yours. The kiss is quick, but it's consuming, the kind that makes you curl your toes and gasp for air... the kind that leaves your body begging for more. "I don't think I've felt this relaxed in years, or this happy."

"Dave," you breathe out and he immediately shushes you and presses another kiss to your lips.

"Will you let me show you how thankful I am, baby girl?"

"Yes," you breathe out, the easiest question you've ever had to answer.

You're still comfortably perched on the table, and he takes his seat in front of you again before he spreads your legs and places them over his shoulders.

The view has his cock twitching. Your pretty little pussy glistening with both of your arousal, his cum still slowly dripping from you. The heat of his breath coats your cunt and it sends the most delicious shiver down your spine as he teases what's to come.

"Should I lick this pretty little clit?" He murmurs against your thigh before gently sinking his teeth into it, "Or should I shove my tongue into that pretty little asshole? Watch you squirm as I eat your ass?"

He watches the way your chest starts to heave up and down, loving the innocence sketched across your face. "I'm going to lick your clit, and have you cum on my face and then you're going to taste yourself from my lips." He decides out loud, but not before gently biting your thigh again.

Your innocence is so appealing. Your enthusiasm for him is intoxicating. Dave hasn't felt this good about sex in years, since Alice was born. Definitely not as eager to eat Carol out as he is you.

Every flick of his tongue is calculated, he's taking his time, wanting to watch you come undone slowly and not wanting to rush this. He can tell you're eager for more, and you'll get it, but right now every swipe of his tongue is designed to make you beg for more. He needs to hear it, and the louder you'll be for him, the more he'll give to you.

There's something completely thrilling about taking someone's pleasure and making it his own. Controlling it.

Controlling you through it. It's just as satisfying as pulling a trigger, in some ways more so, because the people he fucks know him.

A soft whimper of his name stumbles from your lips as he methodically licks at your clit, loving every tremble of your thighs and shaky exhale he's pulling from you. "P-please," you beg quietly and wantonly as he picks up his pace a little bit.

Your fingers gently weave through his hair, pulling him closer to you as he flicks and sucks at your clit, groaning in pleasure as you moan his name.

There's something innocent about your face as he works you up. Even as dirty as it is, you still look innocent. Making him more determined to pull you apart.

You can feel that little coil inside of you threatening to snap, as your thighs start to shake uncontrollably. The sound of his groans paired with the expert flick of his tongue making you see stars and moan his name so sweetly.

He growls into your core, as your fingers twist in his hair as everything starts to go dark. Your eyes rolling back into your head as you teeter over that delicious edge.

"Cum," he growls, lips still attached to your clit and you can't deny him. Your thighs tighten around his head as your thrown so deliciously over that edge, your back arching as you press his head closer to your pussy.

Dave groans, changing from sucking on your clit to lapping delicately at your folds. Tasting the sweetness that pours from you as you shake.

You weakly call out his name as your orgasm continues to course throughout you. His mouth is still working its magic, as you tremble beneath him, and your fingers start rubbing soft circles into the back of his head.

"You. Are. Amazing." You say, before erupting in a fit of giggles, fingers gripping on to the edge of the table to steady yourself. "Is it my turn to take care of you?"

He doesn't answer, instead he does exactly what he said he was going to do and presses his lips to yours, letting you taste your arousal straight from his lips. Keeping your mouth pressed to his as he explores your mouth enthusiastically, loving the way he can pull those sweet little moans from you with just his kiss.

"Finish eating baby girl," he says with a wink, "The night is still young and I've not had my fill of you just yet."

You pull yourself up from the table, and take a seat next to his, smiling at the way he immediately pulls your chair closer and you both eat your dessert in a comfortable silence.

"Dave... Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he grunts back, squeezing your thigh slightly.

"Why do you put up with it? I understand you have the girls but everyone knows they worship the ground you walk on." You say with a shaky breath, scared of overstepping a line.

"Baby, you deserve to have someone waiting at home that'll treat you right. That'll show you just how grateful they are for you. How much they love you."

Dave frowns slightly, punching his brow together and he wonders why you care so much, although it's nice that you do. "Carol- she knows the darkest parts of me." He tells you. "Things that would give you nightmares and run away screaming."

"You know the darkest parts of her," you counter back.

"You're clearly working overtime to clear them up. So she can't use dark secrets against you in court." Your hand finds his and you lace your fingers with his, "You waltz into my house and insinuated that you could get rid of every trace of me, Dave, and here I am.. Am I running right now?"

You make a good point and Dave slowly shakes his head. “Why?” He asks quietly. “I’m married, I’m a killer. You should be running. You shouldn’t have given me your virginity.”

“I have no regrets,” you say with a shrug, noticing the change in him. “Maybe there’s something wrong with me.”

“Don’t say that about yourself.” He huffs. “There’s nothing wrong with you.”

You move closer to him, and place your hands on his chest. “And there’s nothing wrong with you, Dave.”

He stares at you for a moment and contemplates your point. “And you think I should leave Carol.” He is talking out loud. “I would get less time with my kids and she’d be a bitch about things.”

“You deserve to be happy, and you don’t need to worry about not seeing the girls. Anyone would happily stand up and testify that you’re an incredible father, Dave.” you say with a smile. “And whatever happens, no matter how tough it gets, you can always call me. Anytime you need to talk… or if you need a little stress relief… maybe I could find a way to help with that?”

Dave arches a brow at your suggestion, basically an invitation to continue this if he wanted. “Yeah?” The smug smirk returns. “Liked it that much, huh?” You are far from a slut, but the idea of making you *his* slut is broadly appealing.

“Dave,” you say, before biting down on your lip for a few seconds and then letting go, “I fucking loved it. The things I want you to do to me… I’d let you do anything. You are intoxicating.”

He looks at you for a moment and then chuckles. “You might just be worth it.” He muses, reaching out and cupping your cheek. Patting it lightly and then gripping your chin. His phone starts to buzz in his pants pocket on the floor and he shakes his head when your eyes slide over there to the pile. “Just leave it. Let her stew.” He decides. “She’ll fuck up.” The prediction is an easy one. “She always does.”

“I’d really like you to fuck me again, Mr. York,” you say with a giggle ignoring the buzzing as he instructed, your chin still comfortably nestled in his hand. “Do you think you’ve got another round in you?” You tease as you gently squeeze his cock, loving the way he hisses in response.

“You’re gonna be a brat.” Dave growls. “I can tell. You fuck a girl one time and now she’s addicted.” He’s teasing, known that he’s going to fuck you again as soon as he gets hard. As long as you aren’t sore.

“Are you surprised?” You tease back, “How could I not have gotten addicted, baby? You are delicious. And yes. I’ll be brat if I have to be.” You press your lips to his and gently bite down on his bottom lip. “The things I’m going to beg you to do to me.”

“Like what?” He wants to know how dirty you are, what you want. “What would you beg me to do to you? Darkest little secret.”

You feel your cheeks burn as he stares at you, ready to hear all the filthy thoughts you’ve had about him. “You could tie me up,” you say quietly, “Keep me tied up until you’ve used me for as long as you want. Cover me in your cum.”

“*Nasty*.” He smirks and gives a small chuckle. “I think you would like that, wouldn’t you?” It’s interesting that you would have such filthy dreams when you were just so innocent. His cock twitches and he watches your eyes fall to his groin.

“I want you to use me for your own pleasure,” you say, as you gently rub his cock. “However you want.”

He groans quietly and starts to harden under your touch. “You sore?”

“A little,” you admit, “But nothing I can’t handle.”

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He admits quietly and sincerely. He’s a dick, and an asshole, but he’s not a sadist.

“I’ll tell you if you need to stop,” you say, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I want you.”

“Get on your knees.” He orders. “Show me your cunt.”

“I love how filthy you are,” you giggle, before obeying his command.

"I'm a dirty guy." He admits, reaching out and spreading your cheeks to see all of you.

"And all mine for the night." You say, moaning gently as his fingertips drag through your folds.

The phone buzzes again and he doesn't pay it any attention as he starts to push his fingers inside you. Curling them up to press deep.

You moan his name, nuzzling your face in his neck as he works magic with his fingers. "God. I might not let you leave."

He smirks because he hasn't told you to turn around, but you couldn't resist getting close to him again. "I might not go."

"Seems like i'm not the only one who's got addicted," you tease, between breathy moans.

"Hard to resist when you are so easy." He snorts. "When you're giving it away, why wouldn't I take it?"

"Easy?" You say, pushing his arm away. "Maybe I won't give it away if that's what you think."

"Hey, I was teasing." He frowns, but he drops his hand when you push him away.

"Make it up to me," you say, a smile spreading across your face to let him know you were teasing.

He huffs and shoots you a halfhearted glare. "You're not funny." He grumbles.

"You're sexy when you're grumpy." You say, grabbing his hand and leading it back towards your cunt.

"Brat." He huffs, but his fingers still find their way back inside you. Perhaps pushing a little harder than necessary, but you moan anyway.

"Your brat," you breathe out, as he starts pumping his fingers and finding that magic spot with ease. "Make me cum and then give me your cock."

"How about I give you my cock and make you cum on it?" He challenges, continuing to finger you roughly and he reaches out with his other hand to slap your ass.

"That sounds perfect," you say with a grin, "Do you like knowing that you're the only man to have ever touched me like this?"

"Fuckin' love it." He admits with a low growl.

"The only man I'd let touch me like this," you admit quietly

He doesn't say anything, but he hears you. His touch turns more possessive, commanding on your body as he works you up.

"I'm close," you choke out, as the delicious coil inside of you threatens to snap. "I would let you do anything to me, Dave. Anything.”

“Then cum for me.” Dave orders, slapping your ass again as you clench down on his fingers.

“Yes sir,” you say, before rocking your hips a little, chasing his fingers and your high. Feeling your pussy possessively pull his fingers back in as your walls flutter around them. “Tell me I'm yours.” You beg, wanting to hear him claim you.

“You’re mine.” He groans. “I marked you, claimed you. Mine.”

“All yours, Dave,” you whimper as your orgasm begins to overwhelm you. “Yours.” You cum hard, a steady stream of arousal coating his hand and wrist as you whisper his name before falling forward onto his chest. Your arms wrap around him, holding him gently as your breaths grow less rapid, your clit still pulsating and your cunt dripping as you come down from your high. It's surprising how comfortable you are with him, feeling nothing but content with him seeing you at your most vulnerable. He had said not long before that you should have never given him your virginity, but you disagree and in this moment you know you could never regret a single moment of any of being with him.

"How do you want me?" You ask quietly, cupping your hands around his jaw.

Dave pulls back slightly as he considers your question. His dark eyes narrowing slightly as he starts to realize that you might have done him a very large favor by demanding to spend a night with him. He had grown complacent, used to dealing with Carol's shit. Living in an honestly unhappy marriage because of the girls and because he knows that she would make his life hell. "Permanently." He decides.

"Sounds like you got addicted to this pussy after all," you say with a giggle, before pressing a kiss to his lips.

"It's a good pussy." He snorts, smirking against your lips.

"You wanna sleep? Or do you wanna fuck me again?" You ask, as he wraps his arms around you just a little tighter.

"Sleep," he says, before placing a quick kiss on your lips. "If you're good, I'll wake you up with my cock." He smirks when you whimper and settles down with you in his arms. "Sleep, baby."

"Goodnight, Dave," you mumble softly before falling into the deepest and most comfortable sleep you've had in ages. Feeling warmer and safer than you ever have, nestled up in his arms.

The justification for the way that he rolls you over in your sleep and spreads your legs is simple. The night isn't over.

Neither one of you have left the room and the sun still isn't quite yet peeked over the horizon. Allowing him to fully reason why there's nothing wrong with lining up and pushing inside your tight cunt slowly to watch your eyes start to move under their lids as you start to break free from sleep.

"D-Dave," you stutter incoherently, as he presses against something devastating inside of you. Still fighting sleep as he begins to overwhelm every single one of your senses.

He chuckles mockingly. "You wanted me to wake you up with my cock." His hips slap forward to punctuate his words.

Words refuse to form in your throat, as you let out a stream of pleasured moans and whimpers of his name. He finds that spot with such ease that it knocks the air out of your lungs, you feel your pussy flutter around him as you try to pull him towards you for a kiss.

You're so soft, so warm. Pulling him closer and Dave grunts before he presses his lips to yours. He had woken up harder than a rock and had almost resisted the urge to touch you again, but then your words came back to him. Realizing that you were right.

"Good morning, baby," you say with a giggle, before letting your hand run up and down his spine. Loving the way he starts kissing you between thrusts.

He doesn't answer you, just slides his tongue into your mouth as he pounds into you. Increasing the pace as you wake up.

"Fuck," you garble, as he works you into the mattress. Fucking you harder with each thrust, pulling the filthiest sounds from you as that coil inside of you threatens to snap.

"You gonna cum?" Dave demands through his teeth, breathless from his efforts. "Cream all - fuck - over my cock?"

"Yes!” You call out, your fingernails digging into his warm skin as everything goes dark. Your body starts to convulse beneath him as pleasure pumps throughout you. You hear him telling you to take it all as he keeps the same delicious pace throughout your high.

Dave's never been one to lose himself in sex, but he's completely lost. Unable to think of anything but the clutch of your cunt and your sweet moans. His hips driving forward to hear more.

"Cum," you gasp, as his movements become a little sloppier, moaning as you're still coming down from your high. "Fill me up."

Dave hisses against your lips, fingers digging into your shoulders and he feels his pace falter. "Fuck."

"You feel so good," you murmur against his lips.

Another thrust before he's grunting, pushing deep and moaning your name against your lips as he floods your cunt with ropes of cum. Feeling more relaxed than ever before when he's done and slumping down into your arms.

"You good?" You giggle, as you wrap your arms around him.

"Great." Dave sighs as he tucks his head into your shoulder for a moment more. "Just great."

You glance over at the clock and see it's still early, and decide to hold him a little tighter, letting you both fall into another sleep. Not ready for when he'll pull himself away later that morning.

Dave had fallen asleep inside you. When he wakes up again, he can't believe that he actually fell asleep inside you.

Pulling away slowly so he can slip out of the bed and shower, frowning slightly as he thinks about the night and the entire situation while he cleans up.

You wake to the sound of the shower, feeling a twinge of disappointment he snuck out of bed without waking you.

You stay glued to the spot, nestled up comfortably and listen to the sound of the water. The urge to join him grows stronger but you don't act on it, figuring he would have invited you to shower with him it that's what he had wanted.

You wonder if you should start gathering up your things, but you don't, instead you pull the pillow he had slept on closer to you and snuggle into it. Inhaling his scent and letting yourself enjoy the memories from the night before.

Dave showers methodically, like he would if he were coming back from an op. Stripping his skin down to leave no trace of evidence on it, although the same cannot be said this time about his heart or mind. Stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist, he's already made the decision that he had been thinking about. Opening the door to find you wrapped around his pillow and smirking as he leans against the frame.

"Good morning," you say quietly, as you look over at him.

Admiring how good he looks as droplets of water drip down his chest.

"How are you feeling?"

"Surprisingly pretty good." Dave admits, looking a little confounded by that. "I normally never sleep well, but I slept through until I was getting up to take a shower."

"Good," you say with a small smile, not letting up on snuggling the pillow. "I guess I should shower now as well. Before we go back to our regular lives."

Dave shrugs slightly but you don't see it. "Think you might be tipping off the police who caused the damage." He comments.

"No. I promised," you say, panic rising in your voice, "You don't trust me?"

He watches you shoot up off the pillow, your eyes frantic.

"Fine." He shrugs again. "Guess I'll tip them off, then."

"What are you talking about, Dave?" You say, as you pick his shirt up and pull it on, before rounding the bed towards him.

"Decided I'm not going to let Carol keep getting away with shit." He had thought about it in the shower and decided it was the right thing to do.

You place one hand on his chest and the other on his cheek, studying his face for a few seconds before realizing that he's officially done with cleaning up messes that aren't his own. "I can do it. I can talk to them. Request it's anonymous, you don’t need to be the one making the report."

"Good." Dave nods. "The car hasn't been fixed yet, they should be able to get all the evidence they need off it."

You gently rub your thumb back and forth against his cheek before nodding, "Whatever you want me to say, I'll do it. I'll help however I can."

"Just tell the truth." He smirks at you. "But leave out the part where you fucked her husband."

"That's my favourite party of the story though," you say with a giggle, before pressing a kiss to his lips. "Guess I'll have to keep it to myself."

"You can tell me later on, once the dust has settled." Dave snorts. "There's plenty of evidence of other misdeeds that will be found."

"Sounds like you'll have a lot of stress that you'll somehow need to work out, Mr. York."

He snorts, smirking at you and tilts his head. "Stressful job, stressful life, about to be a single parent." He chuckles.

"Hope your little pussy is ready to be pounded every night while I work out that 'stress'.”

"Ready and wanting." You say before smashing your lips against his and wrapping your arms around him. "Anytime you need me."

[3 months later]

A smile stretches across your face as he crawls up from the bottom of the bed, his cock hanging hard and heavy between his legs as he pushes yours open.

With a possessive growl and he calls you his before slipping inside of you in one fluid motion, capturing your lips as he fills you to the hilt.

It had been a new start for you both, and you couldn't be happier that you started it together, with the girls.

Who'd have thought that witnessing that little wreck would have been the best thing that had ever happened to you?

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal characters #Dave York #David York #Dave York x you #Dave York x Reader #Dave York x F! Reader #dave york x female reader #Dave York x OFC #Dave York Smut #Dave York Imagine #Dave York x original female character #Dave York x Yn #The Equalizer 2 #The Equalizer fanfiction #My fanfiction #my fanfic #i love dave york yall #absurdthirst

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fuckyeah-bears · 2 months

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not that i truly care what rando losers on tumblr dot com think about me but i did just get an obnoxious as fuck message telling me about how internet activism and sharing things online isn't actually activism, trying to shame me into not posting as much or "torturing myself" by watching and sharing pictures and videos of what's going on in gaza. and it pissed me off enough to say this:

One, Palestinians have asked people to share and boost their content. That is a direct fucking ask from people in Gaza and Palestinians around the world. I will keep watching and sharing these photos and videos because it is what we have been asked to do by the people who are themselves experiencing genocide. Yes, it is depressing, yes it emotionally and mentally fucks me up. 100%. But i will keep doing it.

Two, literally none of you have ANY fucking idea what i am doing in real life to fight for Palestinian liberation. I don't need anyone on tumblr dot com's validation or approval and i'm certainly not stupid enough to dox myself online when every zionist shitbag, the police, and every employer out there is already trying to do that. but believe me when i say i have dropped pretty much everything else in my life to fight as hard as i fucking can to stop this genocide and work towards the Palestinian liberation.

Three, everyone needs to be doing shit in real life to fight to end the genocides going on right now. Only posting online does not count as activism, true. So take your conversations offline as well. Talk to people you know about Palestine, Sudan, and Congo. Read books and learn the histories. Write to and/or call your elected officials and government leaders and even the fucking bureaucrats. Join local solidarity and action groups working towards Palestinian liberation: Dissenters; DSA; JVP; SJP; AMP; IfNotNow are all US based groups that have local state chapters (idk too many groups outside of the US, sorry international friends). Participate in BDS, personally boycotting brands yourself, demanding your schools, workplaces, organizations, institutions, and governments divest from Israel. Attend rallies and protests and disruptions and vigils. Write to your local, state, and larger newspapers and demand they cover this genocide without bias, call them out for their shitty zionist reporting; write op-eds and letters to the editors. Sign up for webinars. If you can't leave the house or attend in-person events, you can make signs and banners for people and groups who can go. Start or join a campaign to pass a ceasefire resolution in your town/city; testify at town/city council or public comment about it & write to your local elected leaders. Donate to Palestinian and and relief orgs and charities if you can. And yeah, keep fucking sharing and uplifting and boosting Palestinian posts and voices online. The media is trying to repress the fuck out of them, so you we need to do our part to make sure their voices are seen and heard as widely and as loudly as possible.

And four, don't be a pretentious dick to strangers on the internet. You don't know shit about what people are doing in their real lives. This is just common fucking courtesy

Free Palestine 🇵🇸

#free palestine 🇵🇸#free palestine #palestine #free gaza #gaza #gaza genocide #eyes on sudan #congo genocide #free congo #free sudan #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #🇵🇸

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best-overplayed-song · 9 months

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As someone who never understood the hype around Take Me To Church and keeps forgetting that song even exists, can I ask the fans what exactly it is you like about that song? Because my current hypothesis is that yall were around 14 when it came out and music just hits different when you're 14. What else is there to like, genuinely

I try to stay unbiased here but Hozier is one of the only musicians I allow myself to be pretentious about, so before i info dump about why i love take me to church here's some other hozier songs you should give a shot:

francesca [i'd go through hell again just to hold you one more time], nina cried power [song about activism and black activists], swan upon leda [about the violence of colonialism, misogyny, and religious bigotry], eat your young [about the violence of war, capitalism, and generational trauma], movement, to noise making (sing), shrike, NFWMB [sexy], sunlight

anyway take me to church is so much more than just “loving you is like church”. he starts off by telling us how happy his lover makes him, despite constantly being told by The Church he was born sick and his happiness is a result of sinful behavior. he rejects the religion being forced on him, because unlike christianity, his church doesn't force him to accept absolution to reach heaven ("my church offers no absolutes / she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom' / the only heaven I'll be sent to / is when i'm alone with you"). the last two lines of the first verse-- "i was born sick, but i love it / command me to be well"-- questions why a god would create us to be inherently sick only to punish us for being sick.

i see the the chorus as a smart-ass comparison of his relationship to christianity. The Church expects him to blindly worship their lies and confess his sins, which he knows will be used against him ("take me to church / i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies / i'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife"), but he's supposed to accept this and devote his life to God so he can get to heaven ("offer me that deathless death / oh good god, let me give you my life"). by offering to do this for his lover, he's equating their love to religion.

in the second verse, he reiterates that he worships his lover with a metaphor ("if i'm a pagan of the good times / my lover's the sunlight"). the subtle remark of referring to the ancient practice of paganism as "the good times" comments on the colonization and forced conversion of ireland by christian england, which criminalized paganism. immediately after stating how his lover demands a sacrifice, he hungrily eyes the high horse The Church sits on, and questions what power they have over him and his people ("that's a fine lookin' high horse / what you got in the stable? / we've a lot of starving faithful"). this could also be a reference to the irish potato famine, which was not a result of drought, but of english lords forcing the irish to turn over their entire crop to send to england.

then we get the most poetic description of sex i've ever heard: "no masters or kings when the ritual begins / there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin / in the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / only then, i am human / only then, i am clean". fuck man

a lot of gay people with religious trauma love this song bc of everything i described above. also, it's a fuckin banger.

and yes i was 14 when it came out. what about it

#asks #song propaganda #hozier

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chaotic-iguana · 9 months

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Refuge | prologue

estranged husband joel miller x f! reader, reunited post-outbreak

wordcount: 0.4k

summary: what if reader and joel were married before the outbreak? what if just another mundanely late night at the office on the night of the outbreak separated them for a decade?

series warnings: angst, swearing, anxiety, fear, survivor’s guilt, rough marriage, reconciliation, complicated feelings and eventual smut. there will be dark themes. as always mdni.

series masterlist | next chapter | general masterlist

Naïvety is often the tragedy of youth. You were denied both. Years of suffering and loss gave way to Jackson, which quickly damned you rather than offering the salvation that it promised. The feeling that you were drowning, the need to look over your shoulder, never really left. Not until he came back into your life.

The day had been long enough already. The walls were closing in on you, familiar shadows tinting the edges of your vision. You ignored them, attempting to half-successfully distract yourself by shelving your books, pretentiously lingering on whether to reorganize them alphabetically or by genre. No one gives a shit. You could hear a crowd outside, but you couldn’t find it in you to join them, to see what was causing the rumbling chattering growing louder by the second. Curling your trembling fingers into fists, you waited for it to pass. Back when it mattered, you would have called this a panic attack. The way air slipped from the grasp of your gulped breaths, the tingling in your hands and feet - the crushing weight of something sitting on your chest.

The door to your shop was abruptly thrown open, Fred running in, panting. What the fuck is he doing?

“Tommy and his men were at the power plant and Maria spotted someone - he’s even got a little girl with him. Jackson’s getting two new residents, we think. Come welcome them with us.”

Sinking your teeth into your lip to keep from scoffing, you turned your back to him to continue sorting your books.

He’d been getting too familiar lately, mistaking a few instances of forced proximity thanks to the patrol schedule as a friendship - one that apparently justified him putting his hand on your waist, and leering at you, too. In post-apocalyptic times, mild creepiness is hardly the most heinous sin one can commit, so you let it go. But you drew the line at this. At the bullshit in his voice, at the sheer audacity in his tone.

“Get the fuck out. Do I look like I want to join a stupid welcome party? And why on earth was this groundbreaking enough for you to need to sprint here?”

You watched his face fall and harden at your biting words, his jaw flexing and eyes narrowing until he just looked cruel.

“It’s Tommy’s brother. He’s here.”

A beat of silence passed, and suddenly you felt your knees buckle, vision going black…

masterlist

hello loves, as always - thank you for reading. comment your thoughts or find me on ao3. stay hydrated and have a great day! taglist: @imherefordeanandbones @theywhowriteandknowthings, @josephquinnswhore,@millerscoffee, @nostalxgic, @sscorpiiio , @pedrosaidsheispunk , @its-nebuleuse, @sofiparallel, @mandoisapunk , @bastardmandennis, @breakfastatjoels, @evyiione dividers by @reveriesources designs by me!

A/N: starting my first ever proper series. im super excited!!!

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the-90s-music-colosseum · 7 months

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Round 2 Group C Match 2

ATTENTION VOTERS WE ARE TRYING TO ACHIEVE A TIE ON THIS POLL. MARGIN OF 0.2% OR SMALLER WILL MEAN JONNY AND MIKE MOVE ON TO THE NEXT ROUND TOGETHER.

expand for propaganda ↓ (major wall of text warning + videos. very.)

Jonny Greenwood:

"Every art girl's (and boy's) wet dream"

"He wrote the tourist. That's all you need."

"Repeat from my Thom propaganda but he was a part of it so anyways. I had a dream once where I met him and Thom on the street and asked them to sign my Pablo Honey CD, so Thom pushed me into open traffic and I got hit by a car and died and Jonny laughed his ass off. 10/10, my last sight before death was his beautiful face laughing."

"I could probably snap him like a twig but I want to marry him and have 3 children with him before I do that"

"Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose 1/5 of Radiohead. Choose 1/5 of In Rainbows. Choose the man who wrote weird fishes, both Greenwood sisters ,the man in South Park, his telecaster and the stickers on it. Choose the bug Jacqueline Kennedy, his love for literature and poetry, and his lovely lisp. Choose his sublime score for Phantom Thread and his husband Paul Thomas Anderson. Choose the weird amount of straight men who thirst over him in the YouTube comment section. Choose his jawbone. Choose the most pretentious, unpretentious member of the band. Choose his silky hair and his (probably) Dove shampoo. Choose his great knowledge of music theory and how he often disregards it. Choose Astroboy's biggest fanboy (minus maybe Thom. Choose a very hot Alex James who eloped with a fish. Choose Jonny Greenwood. Choose your future. Choose life… Involuntary Trainspotting reference but please vote Jonny over Wario. Oh, and( even though Jonny lives in Italy at the moment), I live in Oxford and if I meet him, I'll tell him that he won."

"He keeps chickens guys, CHICKENS"

"I'm a straight guy but no joke Jonny is hot tbh maybe it's cuz he looks like a chick but like damnnnn"

"He's so gorgeous....kinda like an ant 😍😍😍😍"

Mike Patton:

"Mike didn't consistently wear BDSM masks matched with boiler suits and lick Trevor Dunn on stage just to lose this bracket. Also, if you don't think he's hot in every which way, you clearly haven't seen this: https://youtu.be/gjEbHBafvm0 or this: https://youtu.be/i9_hCjcFNO0 or this: https://youtu.be/Kfq7wHJu21c"

youtube

"Mike Patton collaborated with basically everyone who's anyone in music, and he speaks Italian too. He's great in a live show. And Mr. Bungle is unmatched and unparalleled, full stop."

"HEE HEE HOO HOO HA HA FUNNY WHITE MAN SCREAMS IN MY EAR AND BUSTS IT DOWN SEXUAL STYLE"

"I'm a lesbian but I find him insanely attractive which I think says a lot"

"whenever mike arches his back and screams a part of my soul leaves my body and is shattered by the soundwaves."

"all you need to do to love mike is watch this: https://youtu.be/0gq_Jn41iMM&t=1375 the fact that he blurts that out and then super casually goes into the song leaves me crying with rage and hormones every time I see it"

youtube

#most attractive 90s musician #poll #polls #90s music #tournament #jonny greenwood #radiohead #mike patton #mr bungle #faith no more

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nights-at-crystarium · 1 month

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on authenticity

My mood in the recent months keeps going from bad to worse. Today I randomly fell into the rabbit hole of checking out other patreon artists, which always grounds me in reality and cheers me up, perhaps in a weird way. Essay incoming \o/

Authenticity is a blob of a word that sounds almost pretentious nowadays. It gets sneered at. You either sell your soul, or you don't earn with your art.

What's authentic, being true to yourself, will vary from person to person. It's like a sliding scale of suffering that you will tolerate in exchange for a coin, while convincing yourself that you have fun.

The harsh truth of modern world is that if your art pays for your living, you've already reached success, no matter how you may feel about the type of content you actually make for that money. Insert the meme furry nsfw art here. Or not furry. Or even sfw, but comms, lots of comms every month. Or merch. Anything that sells. Products first, art second.

Marrying passion and profession is virtually impossible, yet I'm doing it, only thanks to your support. I'm acutely aware that, even as I choose to be "real" and talk about an artist's money-making in a raw way, it's still patreon talk, and yes, I'll plug the link as well, so technically this entire post is an ad *fingerguns*

I just feel so privileged being able to create whatever the fuck I want, literally, I take no comms/requests/guidance on what and how should I draw/write, I post experimental, sometimes provocative stuff, and still make enough to survive. This sole fact should get me through the day, whatever other struggles I may be facing currently (I am. I don't wanna talk about it rn, instead I distract myself with this text), I should always remember the unique place in life I managed to carve for myself.

There are madmen (gender-neutral) who toss $10-20 at me every month. The majority "only" pledges $1, the notorious tier that gets treated as a tip jar with no rewards by many other creators. All of my rewards are the same at $1 and $20 (save for the one-time digital artbook download at $10, just to be perfectly clear), it's a conscious choice and a risk I continue taking because it's how I am. I used to split rewards between tiers in the past, before xiv, and it was a lot of busy work while it made me treat my art less as art and more as product. This pic goes into the cheap box, this pic goes into the expensive box. Every month. It's. Definitely not for every artist.

Logistic hell of splitting and delivering rewards, different posts with less comments per post, also my discord roles/channels would have to be split, nowadays it's just patron, whether you give me $1 or $20, there's no visual disparity, you're hanging out in the same cool kids' club, and collectively making happy noises on Fragments Fridays.

Could I be making more money if I got rid of the $1 tier? Yeah. But, mercifully, after 2 years I don't need to. I legit make enough currently, my only worry is to keep what I have. Patrons don't stay forever, 2-5 people would leave every month, about the same number would join (hence my patreon ads, I need to keep people reminded of it, even if it makes me feel guilty every damn time). I did Research (tm) in the past to find out that my "bleeding" numbers are below average, i.e. it's good, people generally tend to stick around.

I put a lot of emphasis on the $1 because I'm kinda proud of what I managed to accomplish while staying self-detrimentally humble. Literally doing an impossible thing in a world that keeps burning down. So yeah if you've been feeling bad for only giving me $1, what matters is that there's enough $1s to make a difference. Together you're creating a phenomenon, and you should be proud.

There are many stupid little principles, hills that I'll die on, that make up my authenticity. I chose to speak of it here and now in order to sorta sell myself, so it feels hypocritical x'D But if I don't shine a spotlight on this, who will. I'm old and jaded and increasingly terrified of how insincere the internet's becoming. Everything's fake, sugarcoated, polished for sale. My art's always been a scream of defiance against all that, now that I'm more or less established, I wanna scream louder. Thanks for hearing my screams. You can scream with me too if you want.

#personal #text post #nextlvl rambles

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mint-yooxgi · 10 months

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Longing - Yandere!Dragon!Changbin

Yandere AU & Dragon AU - First Person POV

Genre: Mature, Smutty Themes, Internal Monologue

Pairing: Changbin X Implied Chubby!Reader

Words: 1,678

Warnings: Possessive thoughts, some smutty thoughts, and some minor violent thoughts. Mentions of potential kidnapping, but nothing comes of it. This is a Yandere story, it will contain themes such as stalking, violence, obsession, possessive natures, and just general overall creepiness and swearing. You have been warned.

A/n: Again, I feel like I definitely could have made this much more feral than it is, but I think it's good! Dragon Binnie is just a softie at heart, but maybe that's just me hehehe anyways, Feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

The Ninth of The Feral Drabbles

That human… Why does he even bother? Doesn’t he know that you’re mine?

The only thing worse than seeing how desperate this imbecile is in getting your attention, is knowing that you fall for it. Every. Single. Time.

Why does somebody as pathetic as him get to love you, and why- why, why, why, why, do you love him back?

I’ve known you for longer, but perhaps it’s the fact that I’ve waited so long to insert myself into your life that you don’t realize what’s right in front of you. I have always been ready and willing to serve you, to love you at a moment’s notice. Yet, none of that seems to matter to you. It’s so frustrating.

No, you would rather be with a mortal who can’t even protect you properly against his friends. He doesn’t stick up for you. He doesn’t defend your honour when they make nasty, pretentious comments against you, right in front of both of your faces. He lets them walk all over you, and does nothing about it!

Believe me, My Jewel, there have been a few times where I’ve had to strongly resist the urge to tear his throat out for remaining silent when those comments clearly affect you so negatively. I see the way you retreat into that shell of yours, one which I long to break you out of. You never have to worry about being too much, or too loud when you’re around me. Anyone who says otherwise will be fried to a crisp.

You should be showered in praise, not hid in a corner and talked down to in order to please others.

Come to me, My Jewel. I will let you shine. I will make you shine.

I just wish you weren’t so guarded around me.

Did I come on too strong? Am I too boisterous?

I thought that’s what you liked…

It must be him. He is the one telling you to stay away from me. He is the one keeping us apart, after all.

Oh, how I long to tear that bastard limb from limb. Only, that would make you upset, wouldn’t it? I would hate to be the reason that My Jewel loses her sheen, even if you aren’t aware of it. The guilt alone would eat me alive. Besides, it’s not like you don’t love him.

I hate that. More than anything.

The fact that your love is wasted on someone so weak, someone so… undeserving makes me sick.

I have spent countless days and nights preparing for our life together, only for this bastard to steal you away from me. I cleaned my hoard. I rearranged the furniture. Hell, I even started decorating our nest with more things that I know you like. Only, my efforts were all in vain.

I wasn’t quick enough.

Do you not see the way I look at you? I know he does, and I know that he’s threatened by it. I am one of the strongest dragons in this territory, and I am not afraid to assert my dominance over him if need be.

I could take you by force. After all, dragons are notorious for stealing that which they desire most, especially when they wish to add such beauty to their collections. Only, I can’t bring myself to do that to you. I’m not like that, and I don’t want you to despise me. If you’re going to want me, it will be of your own free will, not because I’ve forced you to.

Which is why my situation frustrates me to no end. So badly do I want to tear you away from that no good, disgusting, vile - well, you get the point - man. However, I also know that it would devastate you. I need you to leave him of your own volition, not because I ate him in a fit of jealous rage.

Oh, how I’ve longed to torment him, too. He stole you away from me, and despite how I pride myself on how civil I can be, I have never wanted to lose control so badly before. It would be so easy, too. I could even make it look like an accident…

I won’t lie, I have thought about the various ways in which I could torment and torture him for what he’s done to us. Sometimes, those thoughts help me fall asleep, but then I picture you resting in my arms, and I manage to calm myself down.

You just have that affect on me. You make me want to be better - do better. I want to make you happy, and I will. I promise you that.

Eventually.

I’m working on a plan to help drive you into my arms, and after what I witnessed tonight, I’ll be putting it into motion much sooner, rather than later.

I almost lost my temper tonight, My Jewel. Something that has not happened to me in years. However, seeing that- that- that thing with his hands all over you drove me insane.

Doesn’t he know not to touch the art? Priceless artifacts are meant to be shown off and displayed, not for grimy hands to smear dirt all over their beauty.

Well, unless you’re a dragon like me. Then, it’s okay. At least I know how to take care of treasure, and that’s exactly what you are, Jewel. You are the finest treasure this world has ever seen, and I will spend every day of the rest of our lives proving that to you.

Though, please don’t think I view you as some kind of trophy. I may consider you to be the greatest Jewel in my collection, but that does not mean I see you as an object. I wouldn’t be going to such great lengths to have you if I did, and I never want you to think that. I don’t own you, but I will admit, long since have I desired to be able to call you mine. I desperately want you to call me yours, too.

I will protect you. I will provide for you. Anything and everything that you could ever dream of. I want to make all of your dreams come true, and then some. You honestly have no idea what you mean to me, what you do to me. So badly, I want to spend time with each other, getting to know every minuscule detail about the other’s interests and hobbies. Then, I want to partake in them all with you.

You, and you alone.

There is nothing I desire more than your happiness, and I know for a fact that you will find the greatest joy when you’re with me.

Honestly, My Jewel, when it comes down to it, I desperately long to please you. In any and every way I can. In every and any way imaginable.

I want to cook for you. I want to cook with you, and see you smile at me when I eventually fuck up the recipe because despite my best efforts, I am a horrible cook. They say it’s the thought that counts, though, right?

I want to go for walks together, exploring places you could never have thought up even in your wildest dreams. I want to show you my hoard, and let you pick out the finest of gems so I can make you a crown, a necklace, a ring. Anything to have you shining like the Jewel I know you are.

More than all of that, though, I want everyone to know that you’re mine, and I’m yours.

I want to please you in every intimate, intricate way you’ll let me. I adore you, My Jewel, and I just wish that you could see that.

I certainly adore you more than he does.

Does he even know how to please another person? Fuck, I was getting so heated watching his pitiful attempts to bring you pleasure. Even I could tell you were faking it.

Don’t you know you’d never have to fake anything with me? I would kill to be able to touch you, My Jewel. I have long since desired to learn every aspect of your body so that only I can be able to bring you the utmost pleasure in the most intimate of ways.

Let me get lost in the heat that radiates from between your legs. Let me spend hours licking at every part of you, until the only thing you can think about is the way my tongue feels on your skin. I want my name to be the only thing you can utter from those sinful lips of your, moaning praises meant for me and me alone.

Let me roam my hands all over that delectable body of yours. Let me carve my marks into your skin, so that everyone will know who has loved you in the most fulfilling of ways. I long to know what your body feels like pressing against my own, your arms wrapped around my back as your hands pull me in closer. I want your nails carving your own marks into my skin, claiming me as your own.

I’d let you see my wings. Hell, I’d even let you touch them as I’m making love to you. Maybe I’ll even tease you with my fangs, and my claws. A little bit of danger which in the throws of passionate loving never hurt anyone. Besides, I believe it would make things a bit more thrilling, don’t you?

Please, My Jewel, let me fulfill our greatest desires as one. Let me claim you as my own, and mark you with the most sacred of intimacies I know how. I promise you’ll never know fear, you’ll never know doubt. Only happiness, and an unquestionable, unshakable loyalty and love from the one who has always been desperately devoted to you from the start. The one who has been longing for your embrace far before I even knew what this feeling bursting inside of my chest was.

Please, just let me love you.

#cultofdionysusnet #yandere changbin #changbin smut #changbin scenario #stray kids smut #yandere stray kids #yandere skz #skz smut #skz scenarios #stray kids scenario #kpop scenario #kpop smut #yandere kpop #kpop au #dragon au #chubby reader

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seakicker · 9 months

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I’ve been writing for about ten years privately and publicly and across multiple different websites, fandoms, and eras of favorite characters. I first started writing fanfiction physically in notebooks I stashed under my bed since I didn’t own my own laptop until I was 18, lol. I had originally started writing as a means to cope with feeling like The Ugly Kid because I never had a serious relationship in my pre-teen and teenage years. I was always on the chubby side and, given fanfiction’s tendency to depict readers as extremely thin and physically much smaller than the character in question, I sought to make my own stuff that would, hopefully, alleviate some insecurities and give a place to people who felt similarly to me as a kid. Well, I also started writing because I was horny and hormonal and just wanted to fuck pixels, but that much goes without saying.

I don’t think writing has much of a place in my current life for a variety of reasons and, despite what I said the other day, I don’t see it being a part of my future and I’m okay with that! It’s a hobby that has served me very, very well for nearly ten years (roughly half of my life now since I’m 22)— I’ve learned to like myself so much more than I ever thought I would have as a teenager, I’ve opened myself up to different ways to express myself and my sexuality, I’ve met a lot of really cool people, and I think I’ve been able to help other people out quite a bit, too. I always worry about coming off as overly pretentious or self-righteous when I talk about helping people through the power of porn fanfiction, but when I’ve received so many messages over the years about how I’ve helped other plus size people learn to feel a little more secure or how I’ve helped people feel less guilty about masturbating and enjoying sex, I think it’s a fair statement to make. I’ve had tons and tons and tons of good times as a writer, but I think reading these messages about helping other people are absolutely my favorite times to look back on. It makes me feel really good.

I’m in a completely different stage of my life now compared to when I first started writing and I don’t think the hobby appeals to me much anymore. I do think the tumblr game of notes and numbers and interactions has stressed me out some, but it’s by no means my main motivation to hang up my hat and move on to a new era of my life. I don’t care about getting a bazillion notes or a million followers, I just like to be a slut online and help other people feel good about themselves in the process, but any person who makes content will be the first to tell you that it does hurt at least a little when you make something you’re insanely proud of and it gets an amount of likes/reblogs/kudos/comments/etc you find disproportionate to your follower count or subscriber count. Nevertheless, I try not to focus on numbers too much and, while I’m somewhat successful at that, I and many other writers and artists do feel that tumblr has a major problem with interaction, reblogs vs likes, and engagement and tumblr staff’s own decisions to introduce things like community labels certainly don’t help.

As I said, numbers are not my main inspiration to quit. I’ve experienced near endless burnout since about January of this year where none of my ideas feel unique and original, none of them excite me, and nearly all of them make me worry that other people won’t enjoy them. It’s hard to want to write when you don’t feel like you’re making anything good, and, as I’m sure you all have noticed, I’ve taken a lot of breaks this year to hopefully get myself back in the swing of things, but I never return feeling refreshed and excited by new ideas, so that was the biggest indication to me that I’ve simply grown out of another hobby and I’m a changing person with changing interests and desires, and that’s okay! I’m emerging into a new stage of adulthood after graduating college and beginning to move out of my parents’ house, and so a shift in my hobbies and likes is to be expected. I had a conversation with another writing friend of mine who gave up writing publicly about six months ago, and my feelings sounded a lot like his, so that also suggested to me that I’m just ready to be done.

I’m infinitely thankful to everyone who’s ever been a part of my writing journey, whether you reblogged a fic once or were a regular emoji anon who stopped in frequently. I really cherish the memories I’ve made and I was always insanely excited to see people claim new emojis, see regulars in my inbox talking to me, and read nice comments and messages. When I say that writing has been a pivotal part of my life for a decade now, I mean that in so many ways, especially in the way that it has brought so many cool and nice people to me. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve said and done things that hurt other people, and I’m grateful for the forgiveness and reconciliation others have given me just as I am thankful for all the people who have supported me throughout my online presence.

I do feel guilty about leaving, but you guys deserve a proper goodbye instead of me putting my blog on hiatus again and just leaving it there to sit. I’d like to formally leave instead of just going dormant or disappearing, and this is that formal departure. I’ve had thoughts of quitting in the past, but those were when I was already feeling upset with other things in my life so I knew they weren’t real, but I’ve been thinking about this consistently for about four months now in clear mindsets and headspaces so I know it’s a little more real. I put myself on hiatus this last month to really think about it and, while it’s natural to go back and forth on such a decision and try to talk myself out of it, I really am ready and I don’t feel like I need to convince myself to stay when I’m not happy with my content. I owe you guys regularity and consistency, and I’ve failed to be a consistent writer or poster these past few months or so, and I’m sorry for that. I’ve talked about it a lot with my boyfriend and my close friends, and I feel it’s best for me to move on now and try some new things! I’m excited for this next stage of my life as I seek out a new career, look to move in with my boyfriend and get out of my parents’ place, and maybe get engaged too ☺️

My tumblr and AO3 will remain up with the same usernames and whatnot. I can’t even thank you guys enough for everything you’ve given me in the past years. I’m happy to call you guys friends and the “parasocial BAD!!!!!” debate that pops up in fandom circles needs to stfu because building a friendship with your audience and allowing yourself to be human with human feelings instead of some blank figure behind a screen is literally normal, lol. When people say nice things to you, it’s normal for it to feel good. When people say rude things to you, it’s normal for it to feel bad.

Thank you for 10 years of love and thank you for reading!

💛💛 Juju

ps think of me whenever you see pregnancy

#lots of love forever and ever and ever #so much love in my heart for you all and excitement for my future #uhh i don’t have a twitter or anything but my discord is tartagliawife if anybody wants to say hi!

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ellabsweet · 9 months

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[*ੈ✩] 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 • 𝐄.𝐖

synopsis: ellie writes in her journal religiously, a foolish attempt at reconciling with her feelings and understanding what it is that happens to her particularly when she is around you

pairing: ellie williams x reader

warning: written in ellie’s pov as the entire story is told through her journal entries, if this is well received it might be a multiple part series, loads of angst and borderline emotional cheating

I saw her again this week. Or better yet, she saw me, and I don’t think I have ever dropped someone’s hand so fast as when her eyes glanced down towards mine and Cat’s intertwined, in the end that only served a purpose to make them both upset. She pretended not to have noticed me after that and deep down I couldn’t blame her for it, though it’s been nearly a month since our last conversation a part of us both know that a friendship shouldn’t experience something that feels like a break up.

Guilt is the second worst feeling I’ve ever experienced and still it comes pretty damn close to grief. Sometimes kissing Cat I pretend that it’s her instead, eyes shut from all reality it’s almost like I can shift her taste into whatever I imagine hers to be instead and in the moment it feels too good for the guilt to settle in, it feels like home. Which is a shame, in the end, because this is about me not deserving that comfort. I remember Cat had to stop me, push me off her to catch her breath with a laugh and she looked me starry eyed to say she’s never felt me so into her before. The strawberry in my lips turned to poison so fast. She didn’t know. Didn’t even understand why my face fell at the comment, felt the need to tell me it was just a joke but we both knew it wasn’t.

Cat is easy. Easy in a way that borders boring which means it’s safe. Life is hard enough as it is for me to keep having these impulses towards devastating gut wrenching love, the kind of love inevitable with her. I told her once when we still liked to pretend we were friends that she was something of a tornado, like this force of nature so inevitable to everything else that sweeps up everything off the ground, and she was so offended. Like I’d said she was destructive. But she is. I haven’t given her the opportunity to abandon me and still it has broken my heart to glance at her across a room and not run straight to her arms, not be the one making her laugh. It’s been too long since I’ve heard the laugh I would bottle and save to get drunk on hard days and now can’t even treasure for good ones.

To be loved by her, though I guess it may be pretentious of me to assume she loved me, was finally coming up for air, was watching a meteor shower, is probably the closest I’ve ever gotten to the moon and understanding what it is to moon over someone, she personified my astronaut dreams and I am a stupid asshole who keeps dropping things on Earth because they’ve got new found gravity. I miss floating and I hate all the things I’ve crashed on the ground, sometimes I’m not sure who’s shattering the most without her. (I do. It’s me. I’m taking this metaphor too far.) But she would hate me if she knew. I thought I had lived long enough as myself so I could find her but not having died for the cure only means I never get to have her, not fully, not if she knew. And I wanted her to know me. More than I wanted her to just love me, which is terrifying. That’s why we can’t be.

#the last of us fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams #lesbian #ellie williams angst

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skzhua · 6 months

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MASTERLIST

pairing: trainer!hwang hyunjin x female!reader (feat. han jisung)

genre: divergent!au, love triangle, fluff, angst, dystopian, slow burn.

word count: 16,170

warnings: swearing, fighting, mention of death, drugs, drinking, suggestive. (proofread-ish)

summary: hyunjin is a confusing man. one day he confides to you with such passion, the next he ignores you. meanwhile, you have to figure out who you are and what you want.

a/n: the story is similar to divergent but very different at the same time. some things don't match with the original universe. tell me if you would be interested in a sequel!

"Wake up." you groaned as you shook your brother awake.

He let out a whine, slowly getting aware of his surroundings. With a yawn, he finally opened his eyes and gave you a disgusted look. You were dressed formally from head to toe. Even your hair that was usually in a messy bun was properly styled into a slicked back ponytail.

"What's happening?"

You rolled your eyes before throwing a pile of clothes at him. "Today's our aptitude test, remember?"

He frowned for a moment while inspecting the attire. "Right..." he sighed.

Walking downstairs, you met with your parents as they prepared breakfast. Kissing both their cheeks, you sat down and watched them cook.

You loved your parents for sure, there was no denying that. However, being in the Candor faction meant they were unapologetically truthful in their remarks. This was a great strength in political terms but as far as you were concerned, it made your childhood rough, especially since you became a teenager. Nonetheless, you loved them. Sometimes.

"Did you wake Felix up?"

You nodded your head. "He'll be coming down in a bit, that is if he doesn't fall back asleep."

"I'm up." the said-boy spat out at you as he came down the stairs.

Stealing a toast from your father's grasp like it was nothing, he sent you another one of his annoying grins. One that said "Aha, I'm the favourite." He was undeniably the favourite but it didn't mean he had to be this pretentious about it. His spot was earned when your older brother left the family to join the Erudite faction. It was a rough day for you and your family but Minho was even worse than Felix in terms of showing off being the golden child.

"I can make some more, Felix." your mother smiled warmly at your brother.

You huffed. "You didn't even bother offering me one."

"Y/N, don't be like this."

"I'm only saying that it wouldn't hurt showing a bit of love to your other child."

She sighed before sliding a bowl of cereals your way. She sure tried to make an effort at times but she couldn't lie to you. She loved Felix more. You looked at the meal with an unfazed look and pushed it back to it. Why were you still trying at this point?

"I know it can be a stressful day but I have no doubt this will be a new beginning. I sure do hope you will get Candor but as long as Abnegation is not an option, I'll respect your choice."

Your father's words being obviously directed to your twin brother, you let out yet another groan and went to the front door, ready to leave. As your family continued on with their chat, you leaned against the doorframe to wait. A few "good luck"s and "do good"s types of comments later, Felix finally joined you to head out.

Just as you were about to step out, your mother stopped you by calling out your name. "Good luck to you too." she smiled.

Although you knew she could only tell the truth, you still doubted her. With a quick nod of the head, you walked out.

It was a woman who was in charge of your test. While the room was threatening with its white walls, the intimidating tools and the chair that stood in the middle, you were far from being stressed. If anything, you had been waiting for this moment your whole life. An opportunity to get away from your annoying brother and your parents who were constantly disappointed in you? Yeah, you knew you were definitely not a Candor.

"You can sit." the woman said, grabbing your attention and you did as told.

Totally unbothered to say another word to you, she began to prepare the material for the test. The screen next to her was pitch black for now and she seemed to be mixing some sort of serum. You were about to ask her what it was but she turned around in a swift manner and held the said-serum in front of you.

"Drink this."

Doubtful, you took the vial from her hand and drank it down. Coughing at the taste, you almost choked.

And as you got over it, your whereabouts had totally changed. The test had started.

You were taken aback when you saw your reflection from across the room. Looking around, there was nothing else but that. What were you supposed to do now? Unsure, you walked towards the reflection. Only, seconds later, another you turned into an infinite number of yourself. Mirrors everywhere. Just to be sage, you walked backwards until you hit something. Two pillars with bowls on top were what you had bumped into: one with a knife and another with cheese.

"Choose!" you heard from your left.

Jumping in surprise, you came face to face with yourself but not quite yourself. Although it wasn't exactly another person, it felt somehow reassuring to have a presence with you.

"Choose..." you repeated in a whisper. "Which one is the right one?"

The other you refused to speak.

"Can't you tell me?"

"Choose."

You frowned. This was sure not helping. And luckily for you, you would have to make the choice as the pillars were replaced by a dog. You usually adored animals but this one wasn't exactly what you'd describe as friendly. Quite the opposite, it was barking at you nonstop. Growling with his back arched up, he was coming dangerously close to you. You knew it was a matter of seconds before it'd attack you. Stepping backwards, you held your hands up in defense, waiting for it to charge. Before you could even prepare yourself mentally, it lunged at you at full speed. Heartbeat racing, you closed your eyes. As if time had stopped, your mind was filled with reasonings, one being the most logical.

This was a simulation. There was no dog.

Your eyes slowly opening, the dog was sitting at your feet, looking up at you with its puppy eyes. You mentally gave yourself a tap on the shoulder but the pride didn't last long. A young girl staring at you and the dog appeared nearby. This caused the animal to go wild again, growling and barking at the girl. As it started to chase after, you jumped at it before thinking and tackled it down.

You gasped for air and sat straight up on the chair. You weren't fully back to reality when the woman in charge of your test spoke in a hurried voice.

"Go home, now."

You stare at her in confusion, not moving the slightest bit which was definitely putting her to the edge. She took you by the arm to get you off the chair and led you to the door.

"Tell your family I sent you home early because you reacted poorly to the serum."

"Wait." you stopped her. "What happened? Why are you telling me this? What were my results?"

She froze in place before clearing her throat. "It was Candor." she paused. "But it was also Amity, Abnegation, Dauntless, Erudite-"

"Woah, what are you saying?" you cut her off, confusion growing in you.

"You can't tell anyone, not even your family. This type of results puts you in grave danger."

Your brain was running at a thousand miles per hour as you were trying to make sense in what she was saying.

"So what do I chose at the ceremony tomorrow?"

She grunted in frustration. "Anything but I put Erudite as your result."

"How is it possible that I don't have a clear result?"

She had visibly caught on your desperation and curiosity as her eyes got softer. "It's called Divergent. It's extremely rare but possible and you will get eliminated if someone ever finds out."

"So..?"

"Stay on the low and don't tell anybody."

Felix seemed to be floating on a cloud. Skipping as you were heading to the choosing ceremony, he was grinning like a child while singing happy tunes.

"Lix, can you shut it?" you asked in the nicest way possible.

He walked closer to you and leaned down in order for his mouth to be right next your ear. "No."

"Let your brother have his fun. After all, it is an important day for you two." your mother said in his defense.

"Sure is important. Proof is that you truly were worried when I came home sick from the test yesterday." you smiled at her in a sarcastic way.

"Y/N Lee." you father said in a warning tone.

"Sorry."

You weren't anywhere close to feeling sorry. Still, you followed them as you finally arrived at the ceremony. The room was filled with people your age who were accompanied by their parents. It was interesting and nearly awkward to see all of the factions together in one place as this was a rare occasion.

You soon found your seats and waited for everyone to settle. Once the place was full, a man you presumed to be the host stood in front of the bowls that were displayed for you to make your choice. He started to go on about the factions, the importance of today's choice, and so on. Frankly, you weren't listening and Felix wasn't either apparently.

Snudging your arm continuously, he whisper-yelled your name a couple of times before you decided to finally snap a "what?" at him.

"I'm nervous."

You perked up an eyebrow. "You? Nervous?"

He nodded. "You know, I'm going to miss you."

You laughed sarcastically but his face remained the same, his worry was still plastered all over his face. With a sigh, you rubbed his hand. "I'll miss you too. You might get on my nerves but you were a good brother."

You exchanged smiles but it was soon interrupted by Felix's name being called. He took a deep breath before walking down to choosing point. You watched his back while he was making a small cut un his hand. You had no idea what he was choosing or what were his results to the test. You wanted to think he was going to pick Candor to stay with your parents but he was obviously not going to. Felix was simply not fitting in Candor.

"Erudite." the man announced after Felix's blood came in contact with the water.

You stared at him blankly, watching him head towards the Erudite group. You would have expected him to go with Abnegation, he has always been a kind soul despite being the snob brother he was to you. You started to wonder whether he made the choice himself or he picked Erudite to not be on your parent's wrong side. Anyway, this wasn't important to you anymore. It was your time to choose.

After hearing your name, you walked to the same spot where Felix was standing seconds ago. You hissed as you sliced part of your palm with the knife. And then, you froze. As it came down on you that you had no idea what you were supposed to belong to, every muscle in your body tensed up. You had to think fast, everyone was watching you. Looking at each bowl one by one, you gulped. What now?

After what seemed to be hours, your hand lifted above a bowl and you hear a sizzle as your blood dropped.

"Dauntless."

The faction in question cheered while you went to sit with them with a shy face. Why did you even choose Dauntless? You weren't built to be physically fighting. You weren't as cunning as they were. Sure, you had an attitude but that was it.

The rest of the ceremony went by rather quickly as you had totally zoned out after your turn. You could stay like this for long, however. The moment your new faction left the place, you were told to run and follow.

Your cardio was never in its best state, this was only a confirmation of it. You were among the people running behind. Still, you didn't let this discourage you and you persisted on joining the others.

Coming face to face with a metal pole that led to the train rails, you watched everyone climb up. Taking a second to check your proper and formal attire, you doubted a little. Nonetheless, you followed their moves and climbed up, not daring to look down.

Next thing you had to do was jump in the train coming whilst it was functioning. The speed was almost too fast for you to keep up but you managed. Grunting and panting, you put your body against the wall and slid down in exhaustion. That's when you noticed a boy in front of you was staring. You almost called him out for it but were interrupted when you heard people getting agitated. Glancing outside, they were jumping from the wagons to the rooftop of a building. You cursed at yourself, already having enough of it for your first day. Again, you shut yourself up and followed. You would lie if you said you weren't proud of yourself.

"Hmph." you heard grunting behind you.

The same boy from earlier. He was the same age as you for sure but he looked much younger, as if he wasn't supposed to be there. Most importantly, he looked vulnerable. It made you question yourself why he even chose Dauntless.

You walked to him, offering your hand which he took with no hesitation. With a grateful smile, he stood up before you walked side by side to join the others.

"Han Jisung." the boy spoke up.

You extended your hand again for him to shake. "Lee Y/N."

"Nice to meet you." he smiled, a bit too enthusiastically in your opinion.

"Likewise."

"Alright, initiates!" a man, presumably one of the trainers, called out. As everyone gathered around him, he led you to the edge of the building. "My name is Changbin, I will be going through your initiation with you. You chose Dauntless, I hope you have an idea what you got yourself into."

You hated the look in his eyes, menacing and yet, obscure. You couldn't tell a single thing past his façade.

"So, who's willing to come down first?" he asked, scanning the group. "Nobody?"

You and Jisung exchanged looks, his much more nervous than yours. You took a deep breath and made your way through the crowd to come forward.

"What are you doing?" you heard Jisung whisper-yell at you.

"First jumper, uh?" Changbin snickered.

You ignored him and stepped onto the wall, not forgetting to look down. There was a hole, wide enough for a whole building to fit. It was so deep, you couldn't see the end of it. Taking a deep breath, you shut your mind off from any distressing thoughts and jumped. You could feel you heart pound so loudly and yet, it felt liberating. You were in the air, falling slowly and feeling nothing around you.

As you reached the end merely seconds later, your body was met with a net. Waking up from your daze, you began to make your way to edge so you could get off. Still, you were struggling.

"Here, take my hand." a soft voice spoke.

Your eyes moved to where it came from and you spotted what you could describe as the most beautiful man you've ever seen. Mysterious but soft, his features were completing one another perfectly. He was breathtaking.

"What's your name?" he asked once he helped you get off.

"Y/N."

"Hm." he hummed, taking a moment to look at you closely. "First jumper: Y/N." he announced loudly.

It made you realize a whole other crowd was there, watching the new initiates arriving. You joined them and waited patiently for the next person to come. You were relieved to see Jisung coming safe and sound, although slightly shaken up. He rushed to your sides as soon as his feet touched the ground.

"This was not fun." he breathed out, making you chuckle.

"It's only the beginning."

"Believe me, I know that." he rolled his eyes.

"Why did you choose Dauntless, anyway?"

He gulped. "It was my test results, but I think I should have stayed with my parents in Amity. What about you?"

"I don't know, it looked fun to me."

His eyes widened. "How can you describe this as fun? It's a death wish."

"What was that?" the pretty man said, interrupting your friend.

Jisung froze in place as the man made his way to him in a slow and imposing way. The guy was tall to begin with but you felt smaller than a mouse in his presence. If you thought Changbin was intimidating, this was nothing compared to that.

"That's what I thought." he sighed before stepping away from the two of you. "Welcome initiates. My name is Hyunjin and I will be in charge of your training with Changbin here with me to keep a look on you all. A few times during your initiation, Chan will come take a look to see how things are going for you. For those who don't know him, he is the faction's leader. Now, I'm not someone who teaches softly. It will be harsh, demanding, but you knew that once you chose us.

"The initiation process is long and tiring but I believe you'll be doing just fine. The first step is physical training. You will learn to fight and defend yourselves in ways you can't even imagine as of right now.

"The second step is psychological endurance. I will go more in depth once we get there but it will be the hardest part of the process. Only the toughest ones among you will make it through.

"Finally, your abilities will be shown to the faction leaders which will then determine your role among the faction. For exemple, I was made a trainer and Changbin is one of the co-leaders."

"Because you rejected to offer to be one, they asked me." Changbin commented but Hyunjin brushed it off.

"For tonight, a party will be held for your arrival. Tomorrow morning, your training will begin. Follow me, I'll show you where you'll stay."

The whole group did as told and you walked through a couple of hallways, all darker than the ones before. Water was dripping and the lighting was dimmed so much, you could barely see.

In the end, you arrived in a one-room place where the toilets were exposed for everyone to see. Beds were arranged messily and you could tell the conditions were not going to be the best for the next year.

Hyunjin, after answering a few questions, left you all to get changed before coming to the cafeteria. He instructed for you to go burn your old factions' clothing as you were no longer going to need them. It kind of broke your heart to official put terms with your past life, but you had to do it.

As you dropped your old attire in the burner, you thought of Felix for a second. How was he doing in Erudite? Did Minho find him and help him? Was he adapting well?

And your parents? How were they handling being separated from their favourite child?

"Are you going to pick at your fries all evening?"

Jisung speaking brought you out of your thoughts. You didn't even remember getting your food and sitting with him. Right in front of you were two other guys who Jisung had seemed to befriend.

"Sorry." you replied. "I was just thinking."

He sighed. "Same. I'm thinking about my parents. I hope they know I'll be alright."

"Will you, though?" one of the two boys asked jokingly.

"Jeongin, come on." the other said. "We'll be done with this initiation thing before we know it. Plus, Jisung is braver than you; he jumped right after missy here."

"Thanks, Seungmin." Jisung smiled.

"Where were you before?" you asked, curious about where these new friends came from.

"Abnegation." Seungmin smiled proudly. "And Jeongin was in Erudite."

"Amity." Jisung informed, though you already knew that. "Can I just say, you look nothing like a Candor."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "What do you mean by that?"

Jeongin scoffed. "You're kidding? You're supposed to be truthful and say what comes in your mind but you're awfully quiet."

You jumped when a tray a food was dropped on the table. Hyunjin, in all his glory, sat next to you as he sent a glare to Jeongin before speaking.

"Knowing when to shut your mouth is actually a good trait for Dauntless, which is your faction now. So no talk about the other factions, got it?"

You all nodded nervously, afraid he'd take out any of you in a second. Nonetheless, you could see there was something mysterious about him. Whether it was the presence or lack of darkness, what was in his eyes: you were pulled by it.

"Are you a Dauntless born?" you bluntly asked.

Your new friends' eyes widened at your boldness. Either you were about to get beaten or killed, both bad scenarios.

Hyunjin finished his bite slowly, jaw clenching, before he turned to look at you in the eye. "What tells you you can speak to me?"

You blinked once, unsure on what to answer. "Well, I just thought-"

"You thought wrong. I'm only here for the training, not to make friends."

And just like that, he stood up and took his tray before walking away, far enough for you to lose sight of him. You huffed at yourself. Odd, you thought.

"Did he come here only to leave two seconds later?" Seungmin said in confusion.

Jisung shrugged. "Let's not question it."

Dinner continued normally after that. As instructed, none of you mentioned their faction again. Instead, you went on with learning more about each other. Jeongin is the middle child, making him the forgotten one by his parents. He is a lively guy but can be rude at times. He never means any harm, though. Seungmin is the younger sibling of an older sister. He likes making jokes and fun of people, in an affectionate way of course. And Jisung, you were starting to know him pretty well. He is a shy boy at first but can be noisy when comfortable.

"I have to thank you, Y/N. I don't think I would have been able to go through all what happened if it wasn't for you." Jisung smiled gratefully.

"Thanks for sticking around too." you smiled back.

The moment was interrupted when a loud whistle was heard. On a table stood Hyunjin, Changbin, and another unknown man. Once they caught everyone's attention, they asked you all to shut it.

"Initiates." Changbin started, loud enough for the whole group to hear. "I hope you had a blast tonight. Unfortunately, it has to come to an end. Before we send you back to the dormitory, the faction leader has a few things he'd like to tell you."

He gestured to the man next to him to speak in his turn. He wasn't that much taller than Changbin. What stood out from him to you really was his blonde hair. His aura was intimidating but nothing remotely closed to Hyunjin's. For him, you could see he had a soft side.

"Hello, everyone. My name is Christopher, or Chan. Whatever you prefer. I am Dauntless' leader for a 5th year now. Welcome to the faction. I won't lie, the process of initiation will be hard and rough. Now, I am strict with newcomers, but I'm also someone who won't take disrespect lightly. Although you are trained to fight, I strongly believe we should all be respectful among us. I'll be watching you throughout the process, which starts tomorrow. Good luck, and welcome again."

Hyunjin was quick to dismiss you all to your room – though you wouldn't go as far as to call it that – and instructed you all to get up in time the morning after. As he finished speaking, he gave you a glare that lasted too long to your liking before leaving as well. Was it a glare or a simple stare? You weren't exactly sure in all honesty.

You did wake up in time, all thanks to Jeongin. The poor boy had frantically ran around while almost screaming as he couldn't find his pants. In the end, he had simply left them with Seungmin's belongings the previous night.

Still a bit sleepy, you looked around to check where you had left your own things. Strangely enough, they were nowhere to be found. Only then, Jisung appeared with a pile of your clothes and laid them on your bed before sitting on the thin mattress.

"I assumed you'd want to stay in bed a bit longer so I prepared your things in advance." he shyly admitted.

"I appreciate it, thanks." you nodded your head.

You rapidly ran to a corner, making sure no one could see you naked, and joined your new friends so you could head to the training room together. On the way there, you couldn't help but look at your surroundings once more. It was still surreal that you were in a new faction, one so different. You started to wonder if you had made the right choice. Maybe you should have gone in Erudite with your brothers. Then, again, you didn't have the best relationship with them anyway.

There was no room to have such thoughts, you were in Dauntless and that was it. Even more so now that you were standing in front of a seemingly exhausted Hyunjin next to an equally tired Changbin. Maybe they continued the party after you left.

"First day and you're all here. Good." Hyunjin nodded to himself after counting everybody. "Alright, so today is going to be hard for you. It's the beginning and you aren't used to it yet so don't expect yourself to be absolutely great. I don't expect any better than that anyway."

You noted how low he was speaking of the group. Sure, you were all beginners but it was no reason to slander you like this.

"Each week, you will be ranked from strongest to weakest. This is in no way my decision, it is a new reform by the factions leaders. The strongest one are going to be assigned higher positions and the weakest ones are unfortunately not going to make it to the faction."

"Wait, what?" you spoke up, making Jisung grab your wrist as a warning.

Hyunjin's eyebrow perked up as he walked to where you stood. "Y/N."

"Won't make it as in..?" you trailed of for him to finish.

"As in they won't be kept in the faction, they'll become factionless."

You scoffed. "This is ridiculous."

His eyes darkened. "Again, this is not my choice. If it was me, I wouldn't do such a thing, I'm not as cruel as you believe me to be."

"I never said you-"

"Dagger throwing. We're starting with that today." he cut you off.

Jisung's grasp on you loosened, but it didn't mean he was going to let you be just like this. He moved his head to your ear and whispered.

"You really have a death wish, don't you?"

You snickered. "Maybe."

He rolled his eyes at you, unimpressed at how you weren't taking this seriously. Jisung wanted you to stay, he knew and saw the potential in you. Plus, it did help that you were so nice to him.

"The goal is to throw it exactly where you want it to land." Hyunjin informed after you all positioned yourself in front of a target in the shape of a person. "I'll tell you a body part and you have to throw it at the exact spot. Let's start easy with the heart."

He did it once as an example before letting you try for yourselves. Easy... For him, yes, but you weren't sure if you could throw it far enough. Despite your extreme lack of assurance, you mimicked the motion he did and try your best to throw the dagger with enough strength. Visibly, this was not your strongest point. You did reach the target, but it landed on where the hip would be. Discouraged a bit, you still tried again. Lower stomach this time; improvement.

"Holy shit, look!" Jisung nudged you as he pointed to his own target.

As you saw that his dagger had landed on the chest, you high-fived him, not forgetting to slip in a small "good job". If Jisung was capable, that means it wasn't impossible. So you attempted it again. Stomach again; consistent at least.

"Y/N." you heard from behind you, a little too close to your liking.

"Yeah?" you said, turning around to come face to face with Hyunjin.

Damn, you had forgotten how pretty he is. Up close, you could see even the pores of his skin, a skin so smooth it made you mad. How was he able to keep it so clean in an environment like this? And his eyes, so obscure you could drown in them and yet, their slender shape brought a balance between beauty and fright.

"Your throw is good but you need to put more power into it." he commented before taking your forearm and bringing it further back to where you'd usually start. "Try again. Same method, but you gain momentum."

You let out a breath you didn't acknowledge you were holding back and looked back at your target. As he told you, you did the same move and you hit it. Right where he was asking you to hit, the heart. Just where Jisung had threw his own dagger as well. You squealed in pride, earning a smug huff from Hyunjin. As if he was saying "I told you so".

"I can see why he's the one teaching us." Seungmin said, impressed. "Good job, Y/N."

Next up was physical fighting. To start with, you were going to use punching bags as you would eventually move up to fighting each other. For this part, Changbin was the one to show you a few techniques. Meanwhile, Hyunjin sat in a corner as he observed the scene. To give you an idea on the aura he was projecting, he looked like a mafia boss watching his henchmen do his work.

"We'll start with that for today and add a couple of moves tomorrow. Go." Changbin finished instructing.

Jeongin was the first one to hit his own punching bag, meanwhile you decided to look around instead. By watching the others, you might be able to understand quicker how to position your body. Physical strength wasn't something you had to start with and it wouldn't hurt to not dare too much on your first attempt.

"Are you okay?" Jisung asked you, taking a small break.

You observed the sweat dripping on his face before nodding. "Are you okay?"

"This is hard but, I mean, it's our first time. I'll get the hang of it eventually, hopefully."

The worry in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you but you presumed he wouldn't want to talk about it. You were quick to start attacking your own bag, going soft at first as you focused mostly on your moves.

The first month passed by so fast, you were barely getting used to your new lifestyle. Jisung was the one to wake you up every morning since your habit of sleeping in didn't leave you yet. He was also the one you got along with the most, unsurprisingly. You had your little routine every day : waking up, leaving for training, helping each other, joking around and complaining during your lunch break, training again, eating dinner with Seungmin and Jeongin, and finishing the day by hanging out at the rooftop of the main building.

"Let's do something else." you prompted as soon as you sat down in front of Jisung.

Cheeks already full of his meal, he almost choked at your sudden appearance. "What?" he asked once he finished his bite.

"Tonight, I want to explore more of this place."

Jeongin scoffed. "It's already a maze and you want to get lost even more? Count me out."

You rolled your eyes. "I wasn't suggesting it to you, anyway."

"Right, you're asking the scaredy cat instead." Seungmin sneered, earning a nudge from Jisung.

The latter cleared his throat before responding to you. "Maybe not tonight?"

"Please, Jisung! I like the rooftop but we see so many things from up there that we haven't even had the chance to discover yet."

"Because we will eventually during our training when accompanied by our trainers. That us much safer."

You pouted. "That's more boring, though. We'll have to follow their lead and we won't be free to see for ourselves."

Seungmin shook his head. "As if you follow their rules, anyway. Have you seen Hyunjin's death stare this morning? I thought he was about to boot you off to the factionless."

You deadpanned at him. "Thank me, you would've gotten shot with an arrow if it wasn't for me."

Looking at your wound on your shoulder, Jisung frowned. "That is another reason why you shouldn't explore tonight, this hasn't had the time to heal."

You shrugged. "I feel fine, and I saved Seungmin. Today is a good day."

"Good?" Jeongin scoffed out.

"Fine, you guys. Be lame but I'm going out tonight."

Stubborn should have been your middle name, there wasn't a better word to describe you. Jisung both adored and hated that about you. Every comment you made always put you through the most dangerous situations, especially with the trainers.

"You're gonna follow her, aren't you?" Jeongin said to Jisung as soon as you left the table.

"I'm tempted to but I shouldn't. She knows to defend herself so I can't say I need protect her. Plus, it would put me in trouble as well."

And so, just as you told your friends, you were off to go on your own, wandering the Dauntless grounds. It took everything in Jisung to not get up as well when he saw you leave.

You discreetly made your way up to the rooftop. As you already knew how to get there, you determined it would be a good start before going any further. Going there was easy : avoiding trainers and other people of the faction, making as little noise as you could, and getting to the rooftop without getting caught. You were used to it by now.

What you did not anticipate, however, was finding Hyunjin sitting exactly where you would be usually with Jisung, staring at the stars. Maybe your friends were right, you should have stayed at the dormitory tonight. You were starting to climb back down but Hyunjin's senses had definitely acknowledged your presence.

"Sneaking out again?" he said nonchalantly, not even bothering to look at you.

You stopped on your tracks and gulped. You didn't know if you were supposed to answer or act as if you hadn't heard to go on with leaving. You didn't have to think about that too much, though. Hyunjin finally took a look at you before nodding his head to the spot next to him. You still did not budge, too stunned from what was happening.

"Am I speaking to a wall, or...?"

Finally, you hurried to sit next to him, at a reasonable distance of course. Satisfied, he exhaled loudly before looking back at the sky.

"You do know I should ban you and your friend for coming here at night, right?" he spoke, his voice softer than usual.

"Why haven't you?"

"You're the two best of the group, it would be a terrible mistake doing so."

You snorted in disbelief. "Jisung, yes, but I'm far from being even good. I'm almost at the bottom."

He stared at you again, making you want to shit in your pants because, damn, the man was terrifying when looking at you. "You might not be physically the best, but you have the attitude and the character to survive."

It might have been the first time he complimented your behaviour. Heck, this was the first time ever he informed you it was a good attribute. If anything, you thought he despised you for being this way.

"Sure, you are a lot to handle." he continued. "But it gives me a challenge every day."

"Thank you?"

You seriously had no idea on how to respond to his comments. Other than your usual banters during training, this was the longest the both of you had ever talked.

"Don't let this go to your head, it doesn't mean I will go softer on you."

"I never-"

"You haven't treated this yet?" he said, cutting you off.

Turning his whole body to your direction, he pulled your arm closer to analyze the wound on your shoulder. You caught on he was referring to your very much infected shoulder but it didn't even hurt you that much.

"It's not hurting, I'll be okay."

Without speaking any more, he took you by the arm – your good one – and dragged you behind him as he walked to the stairs that led back inside. You didn't question him although you were a bit concerned on where he was taking you.

After a bit, you arrived in front of a door and Hyunjin took a key out of his pocket. Unlocking it, he turned the doorknob and revealed a room as big as the dormitory. One wall was solely windows and in the middle was a door leading to a balcony. A bed was messily standing in the corner while another corner was arranged to be some sort of bathroom.

"Make yourself comfortable, I'll go get the first-aid kit."

You were about to protest but he was quick to leave you on your own. So you did as told and sat on his bed, patiently waiting for him. In the meantime, you didn't miss out on observing how his room was. Rather than clumsy, it was nicely put together. He had a rack for his clothes that he had sorted by colors and styles next to couch that was very well-maintained considering the environment you were in. A few paintings were stored by the wall, almost as if he hadn't had the time to find a place for them.

"You really should have treated it right away, it goes real deep." Hyunjin almost nagged at you while sitting next to you.

"Well, the guy who did this must hate me a lot." you joked.

"I could've made it worse."

Without a warning, he pressed a cloth dripping with alcohol against your shoulder causing you to screech a little, squirming at the pain.

"Stop moving."

"Switch places with me and I'll tell you to stay still." you spat at him.

He rolled his eyes but continued to clean out your injury nonetheless. He finally removed the cloth and went on with wrapping your shoulder with gauze.

"Pretty." you let yourself slip out in a whisper.

Frowning at you, Hyunjin huffed. "What did you say?"

"Nothing." you hurried to reply, blushing in the process.

He didn't push it further and finished wrapping you up quickly. He told you to wait while he put his things back to his so-called bathroom and was quick to sit back with you.

"If you want to see the rest of the Dauntless grounds, I can take you."

Your eyes immediately got brighter. "Really?"

He chuckled, though not so much in a funny way. "I'm joking, you're not going unless we have training planned to be done outside. Today's my first and only warning about this."

You groaned. "You're such a fun killer." You stood up and walked to his door. "Fine, I won't do it again. But can I-"

"Rooftop is fine, yeah. Now leave."

Just as he had told you, Hyunjin planned a training game outdoors only a few weeks after your interaction. You didn't dare to tell your friends about it, scared Hyunjin would make your life a nightmare for it. Although he had shown himself to be more humane than you originally thought, he hadn't dropped his cold behaviour just yet. You were determined to find what he was hiding behind it. If you managed to see a glimpse of it, you were convinced you could see it all.

"Are we even on the same team?" Jeongin asked while you were all getting your weapons ready on the moving train.

"We don't know that." Seungmin answered. "I think they're made on the spot."

"It only adds to the fun, if you want my opinion." you cheered but Jisung was definitely not thinking the same.

"Y/N, are you kidding? It stresses me out. What if I'm all alone and you guys are together? Are you going to shoot me?"

You laughed at him. "You'll be fine, and yes, I will definitely shoot you."

"I hate you."

"I love you too."

Jisung smiled awkwardly at that, and it didn't go unnoticed by his two other friends. You two were not strangers to jokes of that sort but Jisung almost wished you wouldn't say it for sarcastic purposes. He liked you, you were his safe home ever since he changed factions.

"Okay, people!" Changbin said, too loud to your liking. "Hyunnie and I are going to be team captains."

"Don't call me that." Hyunjin said in disgust but the older guy totally ignored him.

"The game is Capture-the-flag which should be known by all of you. Each team protects a flag and the first to steal the other's wins. Hyunjin, why don't you start with picking your teammates?"

The man in question shook his head. "You do the honours, Binnie."

"Alright." he said in a chuckle. "Squirrel guy, you're with me."

Jisung, confused, pointed at himself and looked at you for confirmation. After finally understanding he was first picked, he smiled widely and joined Changbin's side.

"Y/N." Hyunjin said with no hesitation, surprising everyone.

"Going with the weak ones?" Changbin joked.

"I like a challenge."

It reminded you of what he told you that night. A challenge, uh. Whether it was to mock you or tease you, you liked the sound of it but just a little bit.

Jeongin and Seungmin were picked to go on Changbin's team so Jisung had no uncertainties about being alone anymore. His main worry consisted of you being stuck with the detached trainer. He didn't like Hyunjin, not a single thing about him reassured him.

Just before the game started, he sent you a smile with a wink as support and comfort to which you blushed a little. Nonetheless, your teams spread apart through the woods and abandoned buildings. Having been assigned as a seeker for the other team's flag, you lost no time in moving away from your teammates. You kept yourself on the low, bending down as you walked around carefully, making sure you weren't making too much noise.

"That's your first instinct? Walking towards the opposite team without even knowing where they are hiding their flag?" you heard someone scoff at you.

You couldn't even see properly as it was nighttime, you could even less determine where the sound was coming from. Your heartrate began to rise as the stress of not knowing who was speaking to you took over you. Discreetly, you crouched down even more and attempted to hide behind a torn down wall. Even then, it wasn't as subtle as you had hoped it to be. In a matter of seconds, someone grabbed your arm and pulled you close to them. With no hesitation, you stepped hard on their foot and punch them on the pelvic area.

"Fuck, Y/N!" you heard the man groan. And somehow, you only then came to the realization this was Hyunjin.

"I'm so so-"

"Whatever." he shut you up in a raspy voice. "If anything, this shows me you have been practicing combat fight."

You acquiesced even though he probably couldn't see you. "Need help?"

He finally straightened his posture, trying not to show too much his pain. "No, you've done enough. Now, why were you going straight to them instead of trying to find the flag?"

You frowned in confusion. "Can't I find it when I get there?"

"They could've hid it anywhere. Come with me." he ordered you around as he began to walk away.

You didn't move a single muscle and stood still. There was no way you were going to be treated this way by him.

"Y/N!" he called for you.

And it was what it took for you to give in and follow him. He was heading the opposite way to where you were originally walking to. For a moment, you started to doubt yourself for trusting his instinct this easily. That was until you spotted a tower that stood high in sky.

"What are we doing here?" you finally spoke after walking in silence.

"Higher grounds are what you need to look out for if you were to search for something or analyze a place before taking any action. You can see everything from up there." he explained while tossing branches away that were blocking the access to the ladder. "We'll go up until we are high enough to see what's happening on their side."

He immediately hopped on the ladder, climbing it with no difficulty whatsoever. You watched him, baffled and nervous. Heights were not a fear of yours, but climbing what seemed to being an unstable ladder in the middle of the night was nothing close to reassuring. You stuck with watching Hyunjin go higher, looking around from time to time in case someone was to suddenly appear.

"Y/N!" he yelled from where he was the moment he understood you weren't behind him. "What are you doing?"

"Someone's got to stay on the lookout, no?" you answered, embarrassed.

With a heavy sigh, he began to climb down. Luckily, he hadn't gone too far so it took only a minute to come back on the ground. Once he was facing you, Hyunjin crossed his arms in front of his torso as he stared down at you. You were reminded, once again, of his tall figure as you were feeling so small.

"I thought you weren't afraid of heights."

"I'm not." you confirmed.

"Why weren't you climbing, then?"

You gulped and started to search for your words. Never were you this nervous in front of him. Was it because of the ladder or because of the proximity between the two of you? Either way, you weren't capable of letting a single sound out of your mouth.

He sighed again but loosened his posture. "Go before me, I'll be behind you in case anything happens."

You blinked slowly, not fully understanding what he said. Still, you walked to the ladder and started to make your way up. The bars weren't as fragile as you expected them to be, which was a good sign. As you were getting higher, you grew more confident. Perhaps, maybe a little too much.

In a swift and rapid motion, your foot had to slip. Thus, one of your hands let go of the bar and you were barely hanging there. Hyunjin was quick to join you and grab you by the waist, bringing you close enough to the bar so you could get a good grip on it again. Even if you were already secure again, he didn't let go of you just yet.

"Thanks." you murmured.

He cleared his throat as he let go of your body. "Be more careful, this could have cost your life."

Ignoring the feeling in the pit of your stomach, you continued to go up until you reached a platform. Slightly out of breath, you sat down to the side to leave a place for Hyunjin to sit as well. He copied your motion and began to detach his equipment from his suit. You looked at him curiously until he pulled out an electronic telescope, holding it out to you.

"What?" you asked obliviously.

He rolled his eyes in disbelief. "Really?"

Catching on what he was expecting from you, you took it and placed it on your eyes. You could easily zoom in and out and analyze the field. Not so far from your own spot, the building across had one room on a high floor that was filled with people chatting. You recognized, with no doubt, Seungmin's face as he was in charge with a couple of other people of protecting the flag.

"Got it. Can we go, now?" you asked, giving him back the telescope.

Hyunjin, however, was not focused one bit on what you were saying. His eyes were looking up the sky, taking a moment to observe each individual star that were on display. He was full of amazement, eyes glistening from the little amount of light the moon provided. You already thought he was pretty, but he was more than that at that point. He was ethereal, breathtaking.

"And to think there is a whole world to discover while we're here..." he spoke lowly, mostly to himself.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes tore away from the stars and went to you while he let a breath out. "Do you really not know what I mean?" Clueless, you shook your head which made him chuckle, but in a sad manner. "Y/N, do you know how the factions were formed?"

You nodded confidently. "It was created to prevent another war from breaking out, to keep everybody where they belong."

He chuckled again with a hint of discouragement this time. "I doubt you believe what they told you in those classes."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"This city, the factions, the rules... It's all keeping us out from what is happening outside."

You huffed. "But beyond the walls is-"

"Whatever they want us to believe."

A siren interrupted your talk, informing all the players that the game was nearing its end, meaning there wasn't much time left for you to steal the flag.

Hyunjin stood up on his feet and pulled out a wire with pulleys, not forgetting to attach them securely to the structure. Without saying a thing, he brought your body close to his as he firmly held onto you.

"Ready?"

"For what?"

He shrugged. "I guess you are."

Next thing you know, you were hanging in the air by a thread while Hyunjin was jumping down on the side of the tower's structure. You allowed yourself to yelp ever slightly causing Hyunjin to complain about it.

"Just get a good hold of me and you'll be fine."

"Easy for you to say."

"We're almost there, stop squirming around."

When you finally reached the ground, Hyunjin detached himself from the wires and the two of you ran towards the building where the flag was kept. He went in first, shooting every single players of the opposite side with no guilt whatsoever. Although these darts were only simulating the pain of real bullets, you felt bad for the poor initiates getting taken down by Hyunjin.

Too distracted by the show in front of you, you received a hard push behind your head, falling on the floor automatically. You spun around to stop whoever was attacking you only for your heart to drop.

Jisung was on top of you, breathing heavily, his weapon ready to slash you.

This was a game, you had to remind yourself of that. But the sight of him ready to hurt you simply broke you. A tear slipped out of his eye against his will, falling directly onto your face.

"Y/N, I-"

He couldn't finish his sentence, and fell on you as he groaned in pain. Hyunjin stood behind with his gun pointed to Jisung. Quickly, he helped you get away from underneath your friend. As he was leading you upstairs, you looked back at Jisung with sadness. It took a harsh tug from Hyunjin for you to come back to your senses and walk up the stairs.

And there, you won the game.

Three weeks in itself isn't long. Three weeks without Jisung felt like an eternity. While fighting during the game, he had hit his head so hard that the pain of the dart was all it took to completely knock him out. And out was he... He had barely reacted to your voice when you were visiting him, which was every day. The more time passed, the more concerned you were getting. Seungmin and Jeongin stopped by from time to time but not nearly as much as you.

"He'll be alright." Jeongin tried to reassure you.

Your gaze was still on your friend's limp body while you shook your head no. "Weeks worth of coma caused by a simple hit on the head is very worrisome, Innie."

"You know Jisung, he's a fighter."

"Sure."

Giving up, the younger boy decided it was better to leave you alone. At the door, Hyunjin observed the scene from afar, mainly focusing on you. While your physical abilities were improving, he was afraid it wasn't the case for your mental state. As Jeongin gave him a simple nod while leaving the room, he decided to try to talk you out of staying there all night, again.

"There's a party tonight."

"So I've heard." you responded rather harshly.

"You should go."

"No."

Hyunjin sat right across from you. "He won't magically wake up if you sit there all night."

You decided to look at him, daggers in the eyes. "You should be glad I'm still talking to you, you're part as to why he's still like this."

"The darts stimulate pain, they don't affect the body in any way." he explained for what seemed to be the hundredth time to him.

"How can you be sure of that?"

"They were designed for that."

You hummed. "Maybe they want us to believe that." you replied, taking his words from that night at the tower.

You saw his jaw clench before he stood up. "I'm sorry he's not awake yet but I sure hope you learn how to stop being a coward."

Slamming the door behind him, Hyunjin was fuming. Not because you spoke to him in a rude manner, more because he felt like you had shut yourself down completely from him. Just as he was starting to understand you, your way of being.

"You think he'll cut you off for that?"

Jisung's voice took you back in immediately and you sighed in relief when you noticed his eyes slowly opening. You didn't hesitate to throw yourself into his arms, even if it was hurting him a bit. After breaking apart, you didn't forget to punch his arm to which he fake-cried.

"You asshole! You scared the shit out of me!"

Still wincing, he rubbed the spot where you had just hit him. "I didn't know you loved me this much, should I be honoured?" This earned another push from you and he understood this was his sign to stop messing around.

"I missed you." you pouted.

"I know." he chuckled. "How long was I out?"

"Three weeks."

His eyes widened, even bigger than usual. "Almost a whole month?" he whispered to himself and then looked at you with fear. "Am I... you know... at the bottom?" he dared to ask.

But your smile was enough for him to feel relieved. "I made sure Hyunjin kept you up since it was partially his fault."

"The darts don't even-"

"Nuh, uh." you shushed him. "Thank me instead."

"Thank you my beloved Y/N."

"My pleasure." you said with a proud smile.

A comfortable silence set in. However, Jisung still had one thing that bugged him. And in all honesty, it still bugged you as well. It was as if none of you dared to bring it up first. So, Jisung gathered all of his courage and broke the ice.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

You smiled weakly. "I know."

"But..." he encouraged you to go on.

"But it terrified me." you admitted.

He took both of your hands, holding them together with his. "I swear I didn't even recognize you from behind. And I'm sorry I stayed on you too long, I was in shock with myself. I... I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I actually hurt you."

You brought him in an embrace, holding him close. "I know you didn't mean it. We're good, don't worry."

He exhaled in relief before hugging you back. You were the only one he fully trusted, he would never allow himself to do something like this ever again, he would make sure of it.

"I heard Hyunjin talk about some sort of party?"

You nodded. "To congratulate us for making it to the next phase."

"Already? Wow... But I missed out on some stuff."

"You were at the top three, they know you're well-qualified."

After making sure Jisung was stable enough to participate at the said-party, it took you no more than a couple of minutes to get ready and join the crowd in the basement. Music was playing loudly but it didn't stop the other initiates to take notice of a very much awake Jisung. You let him go with his other friends to catch up and went by yourself to get a drink. Now you were in the mood to celebrate.

Chan was present to see how things were progressing apparently, but you believed it was because this was an opportunity for him to let it loose for once. From what you've heard, this man never took a break. He was being pretty relax in the company of Changbin and Seungmin. If your friend was going to befriend the leader of the faction, you surely were happy to be on his good side.

"Want me to introduce him to you?"

You jumped up when you noticed Hyunjin next to you. For a second, you forgot to breathe. Both because he scared you and because of how goddam good he looked. This evening was full of people dressed in rather classier attires so it made sense he was going to choose an outfit accordingly. Still, it didn't prevent you from being speechless of the sight of him. His dark locks weren't tied anymore and they fell perfectly on the sides of his face. He still had his combat boots but they were completing the look of his black jeans and his loose buttoned shirt. It might have been the first time you saw him wearing any kind of jewellery.

"So?"

You shook yourself off your thoughts and shook your head. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Chan is a young good-looking guy, I can understand why he'd catch your attention."

You furrowed your eyebrows. "Are you saying I am interested in him?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

Taking a sip of the alcoholic drink he had, you couldn't stop yourself from checking him out once more. His Adam's apple bopped up as he swallowed, showing off all of his veins. Was he doing this purposely?

"He's the leader."

He let out a laugh. "It doesn't mean he's off limit."

"Sir, I'm 21 years old and he's, what, 30?"

"26, actually."

"Almost had it."

You exchanged a laughter, weirdly enough. Although your previous altercation was, well, unpleasant, you felt rather at ease with him. Their was this silent agreement to not bring it up or start one of your regular quarrels.

"I was looking at him because I was wondering why Seungmin was with them."

"Ah." Hyunjin simply said, drinking more of the alcohol afterwards. "And why do you think they're all together?"

"No clue."

He laughed again. "Does it matter why?"

"I'm just curious."

"I've noticed."

You gasped in surprise, although sarcastic. "Our trainer Hyunjin noticing me? I must be dreaming!"

"Hwang Hyunjin." he revealed. "That's my full name if that helps your very convincing statement."

"Hwang." you repeated. "Are you, by any chance, related to a Yeji? She's a Candor and her last name is Hwang."

He gave you a smirk and drank again. You were growing annoyed at his constant sipping, especially since he was now using it to stall.

"My cousin." he informed.

"What a small world."

He scoffed. "I told you, there is one much bigger to discover."

"And here you go again with your nonsense."

"Me? Y/N, the only one between us who is full of nonsense is you."

You glared at him, taking it very personally. "Pardon me?"

He put his glass on the counter for a refill, as well as yours. You didn't notice you had finished it. "You're hard to read, it's frustrating."

"Okay, creep."

While you found yourself to be hilarious, he was definitely not of the same opinion. He drank again and set his glass aside to come closer to you, as if he wasn't close enough already. "I can see through everyone, but you, you confuse me."

You felt your breath hitch. "You aren't easy to decipher either."

"I know, but I do it purposely. You don't."

Looking over his shoulder, you caught a glimpse of Jisung making his way through to crowd towards you. You weren't necessarily happy he was coming to your rescue but you were glad at the same time. Knowing him, however, you felt like something bad was about to happen.

"Hyunjin." he said, putting his hand on the man's shoulder. "Can I steal Y/N from you for a second?"

Hyunjin glanced at Jisung's hand with what resembled anger but he said nothing, leaving with his drink to go elsewhere. You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding and chugged down your own beverage before asking for another refill.

"Woah, there." Jisung said as he pushed your drink away from your mouth.

You pouted. "One more."

"I think you need to sit down."

Leading you to a corner that was quieter, he sat down with you on a couch without forgetting to bring you a bottle of water. Growing worried, he patted your bag while you drank the liquid.

"What happened back there?"

You shrugged. "I don't know." You looked around for a moment and spotted the tattoo section. "Oh, should I get one?"

"Okay, the night is over for you."

He helped you up while you argued you were fine. You were right in some way, you weren't totally drunk. Because of your talk with Hyunjin, however, the confusion got the best of you which only worsened your state.

Walking among the sea of people, Jisung was still holding onto you firmly to not lose you. You were almost at the exit. Only, there had to be someone to stop the two of you. Standing next to the hallway that led to the dormitory, Hyunjin looked at you curiously.

"Is she okay?" he asked your friend.

"She would have been better if it wasn't for you."

Baffled by Jisung's claims, he scoffed. "I didn't do anything."

"You refilled her drink, did you drug her?"

Hyunjin stepped closer to Jisung, towering him. "You really think I would do something like this?"

You put your hand in front of the two men, pushing them away from one another. "Guys, no one drugged anybody."

"I would've cut you out of the group if it wasn't for her. Instead of accusing me of something I didn't do, focus on your attitude or I will definitely boot you out."

"Hyunjin." you tried to catch his attention but nothing.

"I will respect you the day you stop harassing my friend."

"Harassing?"

You knew by then there was nothing you could do that would calm either of them. As they continued to bicker, you stepped away in fear it would get physical eventually. And as predicted, Jisung was the first to throw the punch. He received the same before he took Hyunjin by the collar, pushing him up against the wall. Soon later, the attention of the whole group was on them, including Chan's.

You were more than relieved when he rushed to take Jisung away from the trainer, who had then been tackled on the floor. Both of their clothes were stained with blood as their wounds were fresh. While Jisung was taken away by Chan and Changbin to wherever, Hyunjin sat up, wincing at the pain.

While you were dying to be by Jisung's side to check on him, especially since he had just woken up from a coma, getting dragged away by the faction's leader meant he was off-limit for now. So, you rushed to Hyunjin's side and helped him up before you took him away from everyone. You tried to remember where his room was but it went blank in your mind.

"Uh, where is your room?" you asked shyly, a bit uncomfortable to be asking him anything while he was this injured.

"Fourth level, end of the hallway."

You decided that the elevator was more appropriate than the stairs. Once you reached his level, he took out his key for you to open his room. You got him to lay in his bed and then went to look for his first-aid kit.

"First cabinet, last shelf." he indicated in a weak voice as he noticed you were struggling to find it.

"Got it."

You made yourself comfortable next to him, close to his face as it was where it had the most damage. The once-perfect skin he has was painted with blood and cuts all over. While you understood why Jisung did so, you still couldn't believe he who caused this. Ignoring the thought, you focused on applying alcohol directly onto the wounds and he winced and grunted in pain. You whispered an apology, feeling truly bad for making him suffer even more. You were quick to move on and start wrapping him up with bandages, not forgetting to clean the spots where some blood had dried up.

You felt his eyes on you but acted as if you didn't see that. But at some point, it became too intense to ignore.

"What?" you said, still cleaning his forehead.

"I'll tell them to keep Jisung."

You finally stared back at him. "He attacked you."

"And I did push too far with you earlier, I have to admit."

"You don't have to defend him."

You were following the blood stain to remove it but soon realized it wasn't just on his forehead or his jaw. One was coming form his cheek all the way down past his neck. As he seemed to understand that as well, he began to unbutton his shirt.

"No." you said right away, grabbing his hand to stop him.

"I can do it myself if you don't want to..."

Even his voice had some discomfort in it. Nonetheless, you encouraged him to go on and, hesitantly, he slowly unbuttoned all the way down and removed his shirt entirely. You had an idea that he was toned because of how physical he had to be on a daily basis. Despite knowing that, you were left breathless by the view. Toned, yes, but his muscles were standing out so much even if his figure was quite slender. What you hadn't imagined he would have were the dozens of scars all over his torso.

Without thinking, your hand moved to go over each one of them, touching them so slightly that he could barely feel it. "Wow."

Hyunjin's face get redder and redder, not because he was bleeding out. "The... uh... You can- I-"

You blinked a couple of times before your concentration was back on getting rid of the stains on his skin. You did it rather fast, mostly because you were embarrassed by your own actions. Who would touch their superior like this?

He thanked you before taking a random shirt that was laying on his bed and put it on. While you were packing the kit up to put it back in its place, he closed his eyes while breathing in and out. While he still felt horrible, your presence made it ten times better. Even if you were only standing a few feet away, doing nothing.

"Can I ask a question?" you said as soon as you came back.

"You asked one now."

You huffed, stunned he was being annoying despite his physical status. "Right... Uh, I don't want to seem noisy but..."

"The scars?" he finished for you, opening his eyes.

"Yes."

He thought for a moment, probably debating whether he should tell you or not. After a couple of seconds, he finally spoke up. "Being a Dauntless born has its downsides, let's say."

This wasn't good enough of an answer for you. Sure, you now learned his birth faction but this didn't tell you how he got these marks. A bit frustrated with that, you jumped on the other side of his bed, legs crossed.

"Can I see them again?"

He stared at you, bewildered. "Wh-what?"

"Can I?"

He would've said no, and he knew that's what he should've said. But something bigger than him was telling him to trust you. It was a part of his life that was so personal and sensitive to bring up for him. But he took off his shirt again as you did the same as earlier, inspect one scar after the other. You are pretty, he noted. The crease created between your brows was adorable, you were too focused to take notice you were doing that.

"Was it your parents?"

"Something like that."

Your eyes moved up to meet his. "Your trainers?"

His simple heavy breath told plenty to you. Determining you weren't going to push it more, you simply nodded and continued to look at his imperfections. As much as they were many, they added so much beauty to him, more than he had to begin with.

"I think I should go now." you whispered.

"Yeah."

And alone he was again, only seconds after being this intimate with you.

Jeongin couldn't help but pace the floor as he was waiting for his turn to do the first psychological test. Although these were only practices, the idea of having to face his fears distressed him. Having enough of it, you stood up to grab him by the shoulders to stop him.

"Innie, breathe."

The youngest shook his head vigorously. "You saw how Jisung was when he came out of there."

"Jisung is naturally a scaredy cat. This is made especially for dealing appropriately with fears and yours aren't so bad. You'll do great."

Almost on cue, Seungmin came out of the room with his face deprived from all its colour. Lifelessly, he sat next to you before leaning on you.

"Sure, I'll do great." Jeongin huffed out, gesturing to Seungmin as if he had proven his point.

It didn't take long for his name to get called and, a minute later, yours. When you stepped inside, the seat placed in the middle reminded you of the setup for your aptitude test. For once since a few weeks, the image of your brother popped in your mind, very vividly. How was Felix doing? Was it as hard to adapt as it had been for you? Was he well-surrounded? Did he find Minho? He must have. You would question things if he hadn't.

"Mrs. Lee." Hyunjin said as he motioned for you to take a seat.

"Using last names all of the sudden, Hwang?"

He gave you a stern look. "Please, sit while I prepare everything."

Unwilling to listen to him, you still did as told. The sooner you were going to be over with all this, the better.

"My last one was Han and he didn't react very well. I assure you, this is normal as it is your first time. Now, I can see everything you will see through this monitor here. If I notice any sign of panic, I will unplug you right away. Questions?"

You stared at him blankly, unbothered by his instructions and warnings. "Nope, all good."

He let out an elongated sigh. "Y/N, can you be a bit more cooperative?"

"Just give me the shot."

Despite his discontent with your attitude, he gave you the shot which transported your mind to a whole new environment. The first of your fears was the void. Evidently, you were in nowhere in particular. Just floating. All of the sudden, you started to perceive a light from afar. As this must be your next fear to face, you tried to reach it.

Until you realized you were not able to move forward. Or move at any direction for that matter. You felt your heart beat faster as panic slowly crept on you. Of course you knew this was the purpose of this test but you couldn't help it. That was until your mind began to reason itself in its own. This isn't real, you told yourself. With that in mind, you calmed down a little and observed your surrounding. Surely, there was a solution to your issue. Instead of imagining yourself in the void, you changed it into water. Now you could swim.

Congratulating yourself mentally, you swam towards the light, getting closer by the second. Reaching it, you could make out that it wasn't just light, it was an exit. Going up to the surface, you were surprised to arrive at what seemed to be a field of flowers. Confused, you assumed something else would come along. That is only if you could get out of the hole. The exit had shrunk significantly, making it nearly impossible to get away. Your second fear: getting stuck without being able to set yourself free. Once again, the panic attack came back. Only this time, you could feel it was worse than earlier. Trying every position possible, you still couldn't move by an inch. Growing discouraged, your breaths were more uneven, heavier...

Until you reminded yourself that none of this was real. And so, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and pushed yourself up. Just like that, you out, safe and sound. It didn't last long as an army of bees came flying right towards you. Logically, you began to run from it. The field of flowers had no place where you could hide of capture them. How the hell were you going to get away now? Right, this is all in your mind. Stopping on your tracks, you closed your eyes and imagined butterflies instead of bees. It was only a few seconds later that the buzzing stopped. Slowly opening your eyes, you were greeted by field full of butterflies flying around.

Having being unplugged, you were pulled back to reality in an instant as you gasped for air. Hyunjin was still looking at the monitor, deep in thoughts.

"What the hell?"

"Shhh." he told you off.

You crossed your arms, rather unhappy that he interrupted your test for whatever stupid reason he had. He was playing back your test over and over again, you began to think he was simply obsessed with how smart you were.

"You're different."

"I'd say I'm logical, but sure."

Hyunjin grunted out of frustration. "Stop that. None of the things you did were Dauntless-like behaviours."

You frowned. "And that means..?"

"You're divergent, aren't you?"

Your body froze. There was no way he would know. How could he? Only from a test like this?

"I don't know what that is."

He huffed a chuckle. "Don't lie to me."

"I swear I have no clue what divergent means."

He scrutinized your face in search of any sign you weren't telling the truth. However, you were good at this game and you were not going to let him win.

"Alright. What were your results?" he ended up asking.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"The aptitude test, what did you get?"

"Erudite." you answered in a second.

"No, what were they really?"

"Erudite."

He bit his bottom lip, getting visibly impatient with you. "You're lying."

"For fuck's sake! It's Erudite, I'm telling you."

His gaze stayed on you for a bit, too long to your liking. In the end, he dismissed you without questioning any more. You were glad he did but at the same time, you were getting worried as if he was about to tell on you to Chan. He had the power to do that, after all.

"Told you, it's traumatizing." Jeongin said as soon as he spotted you.

You smiled and nodded in agreement, hiding any other expression. "Yeah, you were right."

Jisung laughed uncontrollably while you were almost to the point of crying. You didn't even remember what made you laugh so hard but his laugh itself was plenty to make you cackle nonstop. Ever since the incident at the party, you two had been getting along incredibly well. Chan decided to keep him in under the condition he behaved, and he did. Most importantly, his attitude was more positive than ever. He showed himself as confident and proud, and also very funny. A side of him you had yet not discovered. Until now.

"Y/N?" he said after you had gotten over your laughter.

"Jisung?"

"I like you."

You sneered. "I know."

"No, uh... I meant it as in, I think I have feelings for you."

You thanked the universe that it was night so he could barely see your reaction. A blushing mess you were. You certainly didn't expect a normal night out on the rooftop to turn into a confession, even less from Han Jisung. Did you like him too? Maybe?

"Ji, I-"

"Guys." a voice you, now, recognized so easily interrupted you.

Jisung would've punched Hyunjin right there and there for ruining the moment but he had rules to follow. As the older man nodded his head to the staircase, he understood this was his cue to leave. Only him.

"We'll talk about it later?" he told you before going.

Only you and Hyunjin now. The subject of what happened after the party still had no been brought up, even less the discussion that happened during your test. It was killing you inside that both these topics had not been cleared out, especially the last one considering its gravity.

He was the first to speak, asking you to come to his room. You didn't protest and you headed to the said-place in complete silence. It was better like this, you couldn't see yourself do some small talk while fully knowing there was an elephant in the room that wasn't being addressed.

After he closed the door, he walked right up to his balcony, implying that you had to do the same. Leaning on the metal bars, he finally took a look at you. You straightened your back, starting to feel intimidated.

"You lied, didn't you?"

There was something about his room that made things seem simpler than what they were. Unconsciously, you acquiesced without a doubt but quickly panicked.

"I lied that it was Erudite." you tried to justify, thinking you could save yourself by stating another faction. "It was actually-"

"Divergent." he finished for you. "You are all of the factions, not just one."

"Hyunjin, please don't tell Chan."

He cocked his head to the side. "Why would I tell him? What would it change, anyway?"

"I was told that it can... that I'm not wanted." you kept it simple.

He turned around to observe the view, completely ignoring your answer. Unsure of what to do next, you walked up next to him, mimicking his actions. It stayed like this for a while, until he spoke again.

"That's why I couldn't read you. You are brutally honest but so gentle at the same time. You think of others before yourself. You think of stuff so clever that the test doesn't even work on you, and you dare to do whatever you decide to do even if you don't know what will happen."

You weren't sure if you had to say something to that but him talking again answered that doubt real quick.

"You can't do your test like you did today in front of the faction leaders or they will know."

"Why?"

He chuckled. "You turned nothing into water, bees into butterflies. You slipped out of a hole that was supposed to be impossible to get out of. Y/N, these are not ways a Dauntless would think."

"Alright, sure. How am I supposed to confront my fears, then?"

He hesitated, not knowing if his plan was good or not. You weren't the first Divergent he helped but your personality and mind was stronger than what he had dealt with before. You were a tricky case.

"Meet me at the test room tomorrow morning. I'll show you an example."

"I'll be there."

"Good."

You both focused back on the view. That was settled at least but it didn't mean the awkwardness was totally gone. You thought of ways to bring up the weird tension you had, none seemed appropriate. Was it better if you simply straight up tell him you want to know more about his past? Or should you start with bringing up the way you felt when touching his skin? You weren't sure if you even wanted to bring it up anymore. Maybe you should leave now.

Seeing you turn on your heels to reach his front door, the only thing that Hyunjin could think of was how much he would regret not holding you back.

"Try again." Hyunjin instructed after seeing you now controlling the bees instead of doing what you were supposed to.

"If you told me what to do, we would have been done with it by now." you argued.

"You have to find it out by yourself, try again."

You groaned, getting sick of going through the same fear over and over again. Not only because you were actually getting scared but also because it was repetitive. In Hyunjin's opinion, you weren't thinking like a Dauntless just yet. Restarting for the nth time, you started out by waiting for the point pf light to get bigger instead of trying to go after it. Once you were able to reach it, you tried climbing out of it but got stuck. As you did on a previous attempt, you grabbed a stick nearby and dug the hole to make it larger, letting yourself free.

Now, the bees. This was the bit you couldn't figure out. You tried befriending them but they stung you anyway. You tried getting them sucked in the flowers. You even tried to eat them. At that point, you were desperate for Hyunjin's help but he still refused to give you any guidance.

"Y/N, think for a second. What do you when a bee lands on you?"

You assumed he was growing annoyed himself as he finally gave you some sort of hint. Obviously, the right way to respond in this situation was to stay calm. He couldn't believe you didn't figure it out.

"Onto the next fear." he sighed.

The setting morphed into an empty room where there was nothing. Well, almost nothing. In front of you, there were your brothers standing next to each other and they both had something in their grasp that horrified you. They were holding guns point at you. You haven't been aware any of your fears involved your family. Maybe the change of faction did have an effect on you.

"Who are they?" Hyunjin asked.

Even though you were shaking quite a lot, you answered nonetheless. "Minho and Felix. My brothers."

You had to have a reasoning according to your bravery, not any other aspect. With that in mind, you grabbed both guns and twisted them around to unarm your brother before aiming at their heads in your turn. You immediately shot them, not wanting to deal with the internal heartache you had.

Gasping for air, you were back in the test room with Hyunjin, tears streaming down your face.

"How are you holding up?"

There was all the care in the world in his simple question. You would have answered truthfully but what you were experiencing at the moment was overwhelming.

"Good, I'm all set for the final test. Wait for the light, dig a hole, stay calm and shoot. Easy-peasy. Thank you, Hwang."

Storming out of the room, there was one place you had in mind that could truly ease your thoughts and emotions.

Home.

Obviously, you didn't have a home in itself per say. Still, you really needed the reassurance of seeing them well and alive. Beyond the fact you were aware mixing with other factions was not allowed unless there was a legal necessity, you really didn't care.

You had never seen the Erudite area up so close, even less their main headquarters. You recalled Minho mentioning he was hoping to obtain a position there for work so this was your best chance to find him. Unsurprisingly, people around were staring at you weirdly as you definitely didn't fit in. You felt self-conscious for an instant but tried to shake the feeling off as you were arriving at the front desk. The woman glanced up at you before working on her computer again.

"Name, reason for visit?"

You smiled awkwardly as you were not sure what you were supposed to say. She waited for you to talk but since no words were coming out from your part, she was quick to dismiss you.

You would have left if you weren't so desperate. "No, ma'am. I'm actually meeting up with someone named Lee Minho."

"I see... Name?"

She started to type and you lowkey panicked. That was until your spotted Felix from afar, by some sort of miracle. Sighing in relief, you called him out and the moment he spotted you, he ran towards you.

"Y/N, what the fuck are you doing here?" he almost yelled, earning a stern glare from the receptionist. "This is my sister, she's with me."

The woman nodded reluctantly but let the two of you go. Felix brought you up to his office to not bring so much attention to you. You were happy to see he had settled just fine in his new home, from what it looked like.

"I'll call Minho over. He's been asking a lot about you." your twin chuckled before sending a message to your sibling. It took you aback that Minho was even aware you existed. Your childhood relationship was never good. "What are you doing here?"

You laughed sheepishly and cleared your throat. "It hasn't been the easiest adapting and..." you trailed off.

"Hey, it's okay." he tried to reassure you. "To be honest, it's been hell for me as well."

You sensed that something was off, a feeling you would usually never have towards him. Felix was a bright and ambitious person who always had no difficulty in fitting in.

"Did you come here because of mom and dad?"

He avoided your stare and fiddled with his rings, visibly distressed by your question. To his luck, a knock was heard from the door. Not bothering to wait for someone to open it for him, Minho walked in and his eyes fell upon you immediately.

"I thought Lix was joking." he laughed incredulously while coming up to hug you. "And I thought he lied about you going to Dauntless. Who would have thought?"

"I'm not so weak anymore." you rolled your eyes, breaking away from him.

Even if it felt weird to be the three of you together again, it was plenty to calm you down from the experience you've had. Minho had matured, physically but in personality too.

"What can we do for you?" he questioned after you were done with your little reunion.

"I'm just having some issues with adapting, that's all. And I missed you two."

The older man snorted. "Sure."

You deadpanned at him. "I'm serious. The initiation there has been killing me inside. We've started the psychological trials and things have been hard."

Felix now had his full attention on you. "I've heard about it. Some don't make it past this phase."

"Yeah, it's hardcore. I had a test this morning."

Minho caught onto what you were avoiding to say explicitly. "One of your fears is us?"

"Not you exactly. More the action you make."

Your twin exhaled loudly. "Wow, okay. Are you sure you want to go on with all this?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"Come here with us."

You scoffed. "No thank you. You, yourself, don't want to be here."

Once again, Felix looked away shamefully and didn't dare to speak any more. To diffuse the atmosphere, Minho changed topics and informed you about how it was for him when he entered Erudite. Not that it wasn't interesting but your situation was too different from his. Not a single thing he mentioned was relevant to how it was going for you.

"But I have to say, Felix joining in was a huge relief."

"It wasn't my first choice." the younger man said, taking the opportunity to finally admit it. "My results were Abnegation."

The two of you exchanged looks with sympathy. "It's okay." you smiled.

Minho huffed. "You lied, wow. I'm both impressed and confused."

"Come on, Min. Mom and dad would have never approved of this."

"I know that but after you change factions, they have no say in what you do with your life. I'm certain they weren't thrilled when you chose Dauntless."

He did make a good point. But for Felix, it was too late. The main thing about Abnegation is selflessness, and it was that very characteristic that cost him to not pursue his real calling. You felt a lot for him, even more so because yourself weren't sure if you made the right choice.

"You can't stay for much longer, people will question things." Minho reminded you. "If someone asked, you were called for a new technology testing and that it's confidential."

You agreed for them to walk you out just to be certain you were safe until that point. What you didn't expect was to see Jisung standing right in front of the building, anxiously looking around. After parting ways with your brothers, you ran up to him.

"Jisung?"

The moment he spotted you, you could see the relief he felt. "Don't scare me like that! Hyunjin told me you ran away and sent me to find you."

You questioned yourself as to why the trainer didn't come himself if he was the one concerned. Besides that, you were touched Jisung had taken upon himself to search for you.

"I needed to figure some stuff out with my brothers."

You walked back to the training building just it was time for dinner. However, you weren't so hungry. You insisted for Jisung go eat without you even if he tried to convince you to tag along, having other plans in mind. The weather was perfect to enjoy the fresh air, meaning the rooftop was a good place to relax.

You don't know how long you stayed there, there were too many thoughts in your heads that even the quiet sound of the wind was bothering you. Before you knew it, it was nighttime. Somehow, you weren't tired nor did you felt like you had to go back inside.

The noises were become more bothersome when you heard someone coming up. Now used to it, you replaced yourself more comfortably to leave the place next to you free. Hyunjin's tall figure came into your view and he made his way to sit with you.

"You didn't eat."

"Not hungry." you responded nonchalantly.

"Jisung told me you went to visit your brothers. How did it go?"

You looked at him suspiciously. "Aren't you going to nag at me for breaking rules again?"

"Sweetheart, I gave up doing that a while ago."

Your heart tightened from his words. Still, you pretended it wasn't. "It went well. It definitely helped with... Well, you know."

Silence set in once again. None of you spoke as you were too preoccupied your own thoughts. Hyunjin was having a crisis on whether he should confide in you or not. His own experience was something he believed to be horrifying. If you knew about it, maybe you'd be reassured. Settling on that, he still had no idea on how he'd bring up the subject. He still tried.

"My biggest fear is loneliness. I know it can be surprising considering that I am most of the time alone. Chan and Changbin are like brothers to me, you can't find better people." He paused for a second, thinking about how he was going to continue his mini-monologue. "I don't have siblings, nor do I have parents. They died when I was a baby still. This guy took custody of me and he was a trainer. I think he didn't know how to raise a child. I was the rebellious kind so I can't blame for getting mad at me so often but he marked me for life."

You understood he was referring to his scars, most likely punishments he had received in the past. Taking his forearm to stop him for telling you furthermore. Unbeknownst to him, small tears fell off his eyes. You rubbed his skin with your thumb as to say you were grateful that he trusted you to tell you something so personal. You both looked back at the sky, simply enjoying the company of the other. You couldn't comprehend how exactly you started feeling so safe with him. One thing for sure was that you had a mutual understanding of each other. Without saying it, you sensed his thoughts and he sensed yours. But there was one thought he had been having in mind for a while.

"What was your answer to Han?" he broke the silence.

"I haven't answered yet. I think I'll tell him that I need time."

"What is stopping you? You get along quite well." he commented but you didn't think this was a good reason to say yes.

"First of all, I don't think I see him like this. And second of all, well... I mean, there's you."

His gaze shifted from the scenery to you. You didn't see through him so well, he was a mix of so many emotions. His eyes were both hopeful and ashamed. Full of lust and full of pain. You couldn't pinpoint his exact reaction and it drove you crazy.

"I can't tell you that it's right." he finally replied. "But yes, there is me I suppose."

You had unconsciously stepped closer to him, so much that you could feel the warmth his body emitted. And again, the lighting from the moon hit his features so perfectly that you could see every single one of them. His eyes shined, his cheekbones as well, and his lips were so pink, it was almost like they were inviting you to be kissed. Gradually, your hands moved up to land on his upper arms. As for him, his own were positioning themselves to lay on the space between your jaw and your neck. You could see his face getting dangerously close to yours and it only intensified the electricity that was traveling all over your body. Just as your lips were about to touch, he stopped but didn't pull back.

"Are you sure?" he said lowly.

"Yes."

And your mouths clashed together. All of the tension that had built up until then exploded, so much it was nearly impossible to handle. But it was addicting. Soon, you realized staying outside probably wasn't a good idea. A bit in a rush, you headed back inside to go in his room.

Pushing you back inside, he careful led you both to his bed before carefully laying you down on your back. Moving down to kiss your neck, he left a trail of sloppy kisses on your jaw while his hands rubbed against your skin as they travelled down to grab onto your thighs. He squeezed them, hard enough to make you gasp but light enough to not hurt you.

"You've been driving me crazy." he said in-between kisses.

"You too."

He went on to grope your ass, causing to moan louder than you would've liked to. As for him, he grinned at the sound, visibly satisfied.

"Poor Jisung will never get to hear this."

You weren't totally there, your mind had too much to unpack there that you could answer. The kissing only continued, intensified. Panting heavily, you didn't know you could hold your breath for this long. Before you knew it, you were undressing each other while the moon still shined as brightly as ever.

You didn't understand the world you lived in. One thing was clear to you, Hyunjin was going to be by your side on your journey of discovering it all. There might not be in place for you in this city, but you had a place with him. You could settle for that.

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