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happy-mokka · 2 days

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Happy birthday to me!!! 🎂

Yeah. Hi. It's me. Middle-aged Aziraphale fangirl did his next big step in the direction of the big 50.

Wahooooo! Not really…

I hate my birthdays. Always did. Even as a child.

Now as this middle-aged queerish-dude I am still having a hard time, standing in the middle of things and being cheered on by others.

I was born. Great. Get along, people, nothing to see here. Can you all just go home please?

"Well, what the f*ck are you doing here then, right now, with this post, in the middle of an internet platform in front of a bunch of strangers?!?"

some of you might ask. And rightly so, I must add.

Way more than 12 hours before - it is now past 10 pm in Germany - so this morning after I woke up to be exact, I had seriously contemplated the possibility to call in sick on my birthday, and hide myself from the world, quietly sobbing on my couch. For the first time in my working life of 24 years. I had always been to work on my birthdays. No exception.

But the past months had been hard. I never really felt in control of things, still don't. Those who know me closer, know that I like to be in control. Always a plan at hand. Always prepared…

Only that it didn't really work out…hasn't for quite a long time. I just never admitted it to myself. Always kept on going. My family was always good in repressing things.

Don't show weakness. Keep on functioning. What will the others think? People depend on you!

My family also never really considered me being "a success story" by their standards. I am unmarried. Don't have children. No big career. Ok, I've put enough on the side to live a financial solid life in a nice appartment. But the first part really nagged at them, and through them at me.

So I was already unhappy for quite some time.

Together with an ongoing above-average and ever growing work-load at the office, this feeling of unhappiness turned slowly into dread and then deep sadness, until I felt close to breaking with the beginning of today.

Now, almost 15 hours later, I am here, writing this sappy stuff and am genuinely happy for the first time in months.

"What changed?"

Well, I was thinking about this a lot in the past hour. While sitting in the bus and later while walking home.

Honestly? Nothing really changed.

I got my eyes opened and my perspective adjusted by someone very dear to me. That's what friends are for, and she is the best of them. My bestie.

She is the one who got me addicted to Good Omens last year and pushed me onto this hellsite. She brought me Doctor Who and the Tardis (yeah, I know, shame on me, coming so late to the game…). She makes me constantly re-think my opinions and keeps opening new windows to look through on things I had missed or never noticed before. She is challenging me on a daily basis to be more than I normally would go for or did for many years. She became the closest friend I have ever had in my life. Sure, I know lots of people a lot longer in years. Some since Kindergarten. But none of them digged themselves so deep into the darkest corners of my soul. Places not even my brother or my parents ever got to see. She made me, a life long rather shy introvert, open up, despite the fact that she is even more introverted than I have ever been. I still don't fully understand all of it, but here I am, writing all this to an unknown audience, as proof. A year ago, this wouldn't have been possible, not even in my wildest dreams.

"So, you didn't realize this before?"

I did. It just got pushed aside by all the negative spiralling. Sometimes you don't see, what's right in front of you.

After work, I walked her home. I like doing that. Sometimes talking all the way. Sometimes just walking in silence side by side. At her place she handed me 2 presents and just like that, it clicked. Sometimes, it doesn't take much, if it comes from the heart…

People, meet my new Michael Sheen mug!!!

So, we basically bonded over Good Omens and as faith would have it, we are exactly Aziraphale (me) and Crowley (her) coded. 100%.

It makes me beyond happy, knowing that everytime I'll sip my coffee with my beloved Sheeny, on the other end of town she will sip her hot cocoa out of her corresponding new David Tennant mug.

Good Omens was not the only thing we found out to have in common. The common ground sometimes is really breathtaking and we still regularly stumble over new things it contains. So many things that we equally love. Books, movies, music, long walks, just sitting there in silence and taking in a beautiful view… On the other hand, we are so different in so many aspects, but with the feeling of it rather complementing than dividing us.

She loves to chrochet, I can't even hammer a nail strait into a sponge. Speaking of which, meet my 2nd gift: Audrey!!!!!!!!!

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" (the 1986 version with Rick Moranis) a few weeks ago. Both for the first time. Loved it. I immediately fell for "Audrey", the flesh-eating alien plant. Didn't speak anything out loud, still it didn't go unnoticed…and, yes, it is hand-made!!!

*sigh*

"So, what am I trying to say here?"

Good qestion…

Life can be cruel. Life will be hard at times. It will make you cry, like, a lot.

Try to not go through all this alone. Sometimes those that you least expect it from, turn out to become your anchor in the stormy sea or the lighthouse showing you the way. Build your own little family of friends (even if its just one). Hold them tight, once you found them. Love them with all that's in you. You will get it back ten fold.

To quote the great Neil Gaiman:

Why?

L🥰ve!

@uncleadelheid-will-eat-your-soul , thanks for being all that for me, little introverted geeky metal edgelord office girl, and thanks for enduring my annoying love for bad jokes and even worse puns…

P.S.: Sorry btw for the storm, lighthouse, anchor metaphors with you hating all that's related to the dark blue sea…I still didn't edit them out…maybe we'll be getting there. At least I left out fishy fish…

🐟🐠🐡🦈🌊🦑

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draculasfavoritewife · 2 days

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Miguel O'Hara x Reader Headcanons

Summary: How you and Miguel found yourselves in a situationship of sorts.

Pairing: Miguel O'Hara x fem!Spider!Reader

Warnings: Miguel gets angry when he's worried (it's a canon event guys). A very sultry kiss and implied smut towards the end. Me using far too many of the adjectives at my disposal just to describe this man and all the things he makes me feel.

I went and saw Across the Spiderverse TWICE in a week while it was in my hometown, and immediately started drafting fic for this goddamn gorgeous problem of a man 🔥 He just gave me too much to work with and I may or may not have spent entire months watching every single compilation I could find for "scientific inspiration". For my headcanon purposes, reader is a spider-hero as well, but I left her pretty vague on purpose -- feel free to fill in her costume/powers/skill set with your own spidersona :)

*Spanish translations at the end! (I am fairly bilingual, but if I made a lil mistake here or there do forgive me)

• He would say he had no idea when or how it started -- you, on the other hand, were taken by him from the first time he gave you his whole "canon" spiel.

• How could you not be? He towered above you, body chiseled like a Greek God, angular face equal parts weary and arrogant.

• And that voice -- rich and smooth as a silky black coffee -- it would be safe to say you were pretty smitten right away.

• To his surprise, you worked your way into his inner circle fairly quickly for a new recruit. Although you definitely had your own opinions, you knew when and how to push his boundaries and when he wasn't in the mood for it.

• Soon he trusted you to handle yourself with minimal supervision from him -- and maybe that trust was the beginnings of it for him. Because even though he recognized your competence, he still found himself continually assigning you to his personal strike squad, not to look after you, but because you somehow didn't annoy the hell out of him.

• Which comes in handy for everyone else after a while, because soon that translates over to you soothing the proverbial beast when he's biting the heads off of the more sensitive Spiders.

"How could you be so STUPID -- !"

"Okay, Miguel, I think they got the point."

"But they -- !"

"I know. They know. It's okay, let's all just take a breath."

"¡Ay coño! Nadie me oye. Todos son idiotas."

But he does back off, and does take a breath, and everyone else stares at you like you're the second coming of Christ.

• Your fascination and admiration for the intense head of the Society soon turns to a genuine enjoyment of his company. He's not much of a conversationalist, but you're okay with silence, and sometimes you just...end up keeping him company in the monitor tower after missions and he just...lets you.

• You soon notice the ungodly hours he keeps and start leaving him an empanada and a black coffee at the end of the day when you leave -- you know how dangerous he gets when hangry and undercaffeinated.

• It's a bit strange for him at first (someone is actually choosing his company over the bombastic personalities of the other spiders?) but Miguel soon gets used to you hanging around, and the hairs on the back of his neck finally stop bristling at having a fellow person in the room.

• One thing he absolutely can't figure out is why the scent of fear never radiates from you, even when you witness his occasional equipment-trashing tantrums. But he somehow doesn't quite mind that he can't intimidate you.

• He would strongly deny he ever gave you favorite treatment, but some of the others do realize he's not QUITE as hard on you when you challenge his decisions.

• Sometimes you check on him late at night before you go home; you can tell when he hasn't slept in a couple days by the way his shoulders hunch and how often he pinches the bridge of his nose against an oncoming headache (though sometimes that's just from dealing with Peter (x100) for too long).

• And that turns into you staying in late to keep him company while he swipes through screens upon screens of things that require his personal attention.

• That's how you end up finally seeing the videos of him and his little girl; he probably forgot you were there and her loss hit him all over again and before he knew it you had seen what he was like once, when the lines on his handsome face were from smiling so widely instead of losing sleep over the fate of all of reality.

• Neither of you really address it for a long time, but you know, and he knows you do, and there's this weird comfort that settles between the two of you after that.

• He already knows your story of course, and your canon events, but when the pair of you finally start talking during those late nights you share the little details, and you have the feeling that he wants to care about the small things, he just can't with the much larger picture he has to handle.

• It's little things that make it past his unbreakable outer walls -- the fleeting brush of your hand across his back as you pass behind him, the way you can hold eye contact with him longer than anyone else, the seemingly flippant way you blow him a kiss every so often when he sends you off to go make yourself useful elsewhere. Casual things, but he notices.

• And you want to tell him you're in love with him, but have a feeling he doesn't want to hear those words, because once they're out in the air, it means you both can't sidestep it anymore, so you don't.

• After a particularly rough mission, he's angry and you're shaken up, and he doesn't mean to react the way he does, but he takes it out on you, scolding you for what almost happened, and you fire right back because you're emotional, and the two of you end up raising your voices and everyone else just kind of...leaves the room.

• Then silence.

• You and Miguel are breathing hard, staring at each other. And something fragile takes root in the empty space between you.

• "Could you do me a favor and maybe not get yourself shocking killed?!" he growls at last, and there's a raw edge to it you haven't heard before.

• You laugh brokenly. "What do you really care, O'Hara? There's literally hundreds of Spiders here; I think you'd be okay."

• "¡Coño! How can you be so blind?!" He's snarling now, full lips pulled back and sharp teeth on display. "I thought we were on the same page for once."

• You're totally unprepared for when he grabs your shoulders and forces you to look up, right at him. "I can't lose someone else."

• He's so close, and his angry mouth has softened. And maybe you've lost your mind, but he's already angry, so what do you have to lose, really? At least that's what you tell yourself as you take the plunge and lean in.

• And to your surprise, he not only meets your lips, he kisses you back with matching fire, and what was supposed to be a simple, singular impulse turns into an unexpectedly heavy ongoing process -- fingers raking through hair, bodies pressing together, hotly whispering things neither of you remembers.

• And then as quickly as it happened, it's over, and you're on opposite sides of the room again like sulking cats, and he sends you home.

• You don't talk about the incident for weeks. Life goes on.

• But then one night, he offers to take you home when you both stay behind late, and at your door he apologizes for his lapse in professionalism, and you admit you...didn't mind. At all. He doesn't seem in a hurry to leave, and wanting to distract him from his work for at least a little while, you invite him in.

• And somehow what was supposed to be a sweet goodbye-and-thank-you kiss a couple hours later turned into exploring touches and murmured questions and agreements and how damn good his arms feel locked around your body; and when the sun filters in through your window in the morning he's long gone but your skin still smells like him and you realize that actually happened.

• You assume it's a one-time thing. People make mistakes, after all, no hard feelings.

• Bur when Miguel holds you back after a mission several days later and wants to make absolutely sure that the other night didn't make things uncomfortable between you, you go out on a limb and admit to him that you really enjoyed it.

• And he has to take some time and process that.

• But eventually he shows up at your place late one night again, and it starts to become a bit of a regular thing. So much so that you give him the spare key to your apartment and he starts to leave some of his clothes there sometimes. You love wearing his shirts, because they're enormous as hell on you, and you sleep in his clothes whenever you can't have his skin against yours.

• (For his part, he also likes when you wear his shirts, because then your throat, shoulders, and thighs are that much easier to get at.)

• And life goes on.

¡Ay coño! = (Expletive)

Nadie me oye = No one listens to/hears me

Todos son idiotas = They're all idiots

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absolutemimery · 5 months

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1 year since I fell in love with the big fat red guy

Extra selfship doodles hgghghhh

#I can't believe it's been a whole year and my feelings towards him are still very very strong (hyperfixiation goes crazy!!)#ohh my sweet Celestia I love him so much I'm serious I think about him every day and just smile and giggle to myself #like genuinely sometimes when I hear audios of him talking or see fanart of him #I just start blushing and smiling like an idiot or have a visceral reaction ahee hee #like demonic growling and flapping my arms or shaking them #anyways I am very normal and totally not insane ahahaha 😇/j #spooky month #bob velseb #bob velseb x oc #self insert x canon #self ship #spooky month fanart #also was listening to tea errors and got inspired by that line 🤭🤭

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em0-opossum · 10 months

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sick of people acting like being alone/lonely = being single. ofc you're allowed to feel like that, I'm aro and could not care less that I don't have a partner so I have no idea what it feels like to have that experience, but god just once I'd like to find poetry and art made by people who know how it feels to have no friends and feel lonely no matter how many people are around you and know that you don't belong no matter where you are

#I'm lucky enough to have two good friends right now who i love very much #but that doesn't mean that they understand how i feel or how i have felt #and knowing you're alone in that overbearing loneliness just alienates you more and further perpetuates the feeling #i still miss out on so many opportunities to be friends with people i genuinely want to be friends with so bad because i can't talk to them #i still get so paranoid sometimes and stop replying to anyone because I'm convinced they hate me and there's something wrong with me #sometimes to the point where i avoid teachers who i need to talk to because i am sure that everything i say will be wrong #even someone being nice can feel awful because i think that they just feel bad or are pretending and actually trying to make fun of me #i know nobody actually knows who i am or how i feel because i hide everything to fit in with people and what they need/want #i have never felt like i belong anywhere and trying to explain that to people is so hard #there are times i love being alone but knowing that I've missed out on every regular human experience is so isolating #i just want to be normal and have friends i love and hang out with and talk to and not feel like every word i say could be the end of me #and when i try to find anybody who relates all i get is “oh im alone again :(( being single is awful”#i really do empathize with those people but it is nothing like my experience of loneliness #(tags are just for finding people who relate)#social anxiety #avpd #avoidant personality disorder #actuallyavpd #loneliness #chronic loneliness

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lightblueminecraftorchid · 23 days

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it’s weird how many compliments I get now for just. existing. and wearing pretty clothes. it’s nuts how differently people treat me based on what I wear. smth smth commentary on humanity whatever I’m just glad other ppl also like my skirts.

#blue chatter #genuinely I think part of it is just that I dress like a magical girl anime protagonist #hair bow poofy skirt color coordinated and themed with matching KN95 sparkly makeup sometimes #and also that people tend to compliment parts of your appearance that you have control over #like hair and clothes and makeup #bc it’s a way to compliment without being forward or objectifying someone #so now that I regularly wear clothing that is bright and colorful and outside the norm it’s noticeable #and o do genuinely put more effort into my appearance now #but it is interesting how much easier it is to make casual acquaintances with people #<- this is important in context. bc I am constantly off putting. I don’t mask much at school anymore.#so this is people complimenting someone who is constantly flinching at sudden noises and randomly twitches/stims #it’s intriguing to me #people approach?? me?? and compliment my outfit and then we chat abt where I got it #and then they say hi to me in class the next day #and suddenly I have someone I can email if I need to miss class and want that day’s notes #it’s so wild #this happens more the weirder I dress btw. if I’m wearing sparkles and a petticoat and a bunch of pins and hairclips I get more #positive attention. which is real intriguing to me.#but I also genuinely like dressing like this? it’s nice to be complimented and it makes me feel good #but I also do it when nobody sees me just bc I enjoy it #I feel more confident in myself and how I perceive myself and I think the confidence also helps #a few of my friends have commented that I hold myself very differently now #one jokingly calls it my ‘queer glowup’ bc this coincided w me being more open and accepting abt my queer identities #which I think is fun

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unsurebisexualcore · 6 months

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y'alls parents ever start acting really nice and calm all of a sudden and u just get reallll nervous. like we havent spoken abt school without it turning into an argument in like 4 years, tf happened why ru acting like this what did u find out

#genuinely nothing makes me more nervous than my parents randomly being really nice to me #liek i know that sounds horrible and really its not a bad thing its very much a “tough love” situation #so when the love is less tough it makes me anxioussss #sometimes im jealous of people who dont have secrets from their parents yall dont have to deal w/ this shit #its liek watching the industrial revolution tumble into the great depression #shits about to get rough i can feel it in my bones #and it keeps me up at night #i think i know what it is (or what i hope it is) which in theory is pretty harmless #but god if im WRONG and its another thing #i am so screwed #personal

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annalyticall · 7 months

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To be honest I think I'm starting to become so apathetic to gender that I could possibly be non-binary but at the same time I am also just apathetic enough to not care about changing my pronouns or doing anything differently about how i present to people

#long gender rant incoming but i've never not identified as a woman and I'll probably always be one #but also i don't think i identify so much as a woman that i find it to be so drastically different to being a man?#like i never identified as a man either and never will but also like. idk we're all just people man #it's the roles we impose on ourselves that makes it seem like there's such a chasm there but there's not #like sure i'm sure on some level being a woman predisposes me to behave certain ways #but i was also fortunate enough to be raised in a household where my gender didn't bar me from playing with or liking things deemed for boy #so when i gravitated towards engineering and action movies and video games i mingled a lot more with boys than i did girls #not to be a 'not like other girls' girl but just because i naturally wanted to surround myself with people of common interests #and that just kind of normalized for me sharing space and thoughts with men as an equal #and sure sometimes men in particular piss me off but mostly just the men who subscribe to the bs role they were given as a 'man'#like the ones who don't think they could possibly relate to me because I'm a woman #like fuck that. obviously. but i also find it hard to identify with movies like barbie that draw such a clear divide between genders #like i remember my biggest problem with the movie is that very rarely did it feel like the kens and barbies ever genuinely liked each other #i know that wasn't the point of the movie. it is a critique of gender roles and the patriarchy so relationships were not the focus #but i also couldn't really see myself in the barbies and i found it kinda hard to fully immerse myself in the message of it #idk. all this to say i am a woman but sometimes i wish i didn't have to make a big deal about it #oh yeah okay no wonder i'm bisexual

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none-tadashi-left-hiro · 24 days

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Is my toxic trait psychoanalyzing other people and thinking I’m the exception because I’m actually soooo observant and aware of the signs

#I mean people just say Some Things that make me think they can’t not be dealing with self worth issues #like someone said they hate bugs bc what purpose do they serve other than to be annoying #so it’s fine to kill them or whatever #and I’m just like I wonder what that says about you 🤔#but guys I’ve ended up being right before #it’s also because of things they’ll just self admit sometimes though #like saying they feel like they’re not a helpful person or they’re feeling worthless #and then acting all confident #and trying to act like the high bitch in charge despite knowing nothing about what is going on #and I’m just like hey do you have imposter syndrome #and they’re like yeah #am I toxic for asking that #even if it’s based on Several Observations #some of which they openly admit unprompted themselves #someone was like how dare you analyze them without consent meanwhile #they’re spilling their own guts left and right already like #I’m just naming what I observed in behavior and giving it a label #genuinely is that toxic of me though lol #I mean it’s really easy to do with toxic people bc not toxic people like don’t have issues to psychoanalazye as much #like to me it’s like going hey not to armchair diagnose but maybe talk to your doctor about if you have ADHD #bc based off observations #you can fucking tell #I have never been wrong abt someone having adhd #bc paradoxically I realize I am not immune to being wrong about someone #I’m just very observant idk #the without their consent response is throwing me off #like I get offering unsolicited advice #but I think going you have imposter syndrome vs asking hey do you think you have imposter syndrome #are two very different things

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mothheart · 1 month

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the intimacy of eating in front of someone and playing video games in front of them/streaming for them and talking to them without having several barriers up and being overly conscious of how i talk or what i say out of fear of embarrassment and sharing my space with them when it's somewhere i usually don't like anyone else being and

#i knew but i think maybe i didnt fully know just like #how hypervigilant i am 24/7 #i dont know how long its really even been like this for #opening up like this is like Oh i can/have embarrassed myself in front of this person and shown how much i really do struggle w basic things #(like speaking clearly. articulating my thoughts. etc)#but iys also very freeing and i also didnt think id ever be this way with anyone in my life ever again #i dint know if theres a point to this other than like thinking again about how mych things have changed #and how happy it majes me feel regardless of how scary it feels sometimes #its crazy how much you can open up to someone who makes you feel genuinely safe lol #miles rambles

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truckstoptigers · 2 months

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when i was seven and our trailer burned down, i thought about leaving my father there, grabbing my brother, and getting us the hell out

i didn't. i ended up waking our father and we all ended up at the neighbors' house

but i should have

i fucking should have

because the minute he had a chance to be alone with me (after we got to my grandma's trailer) guess what he did! shortly after our fucking HOME burned down and the firefighters gave my brother and i teddy bears and wrapped blankets around us for shock!!!!!! fucking christ i hate our father more than anyone on this earth

#haha :) feeling normal abt this!#all i cared about was my brother being safe. thats all. i still remember holding his hand and walking him to the neighbours house #i couldnt see because i left my glasses in the trailer. they put on the little mermaid cartoon for us. i even remember what episode it was #but i genuinely considered leaving my father there and honestly that scares me #honestly i was afraid to wake him up bc i didnt want him to get mad at me. if he got mad at me i would always suffer for it later #milo murmurs #fun fact we lived w someone & his son and his son ended up becoming my cousin when his mom married my uncle #i am so so glad neither or them were home that night #he was so young. im several years older than him & he was so little that he doesnt even remember we lived together #csa vent #tw csa vent #csa tw #also feeling fucked up abt the fact that my father wld put his cigarettes out on me when he was pissed #sometimes i wonder if the fire started because he was smoking smth and passed out while doing it but my brother slept in his room #i feel like they wouldve been much more worse off if the fire started in their room #anyway im pretty sure that the fire was set intentionally bc he had some ties to the wrong ppl #and either they didnt know me & my brother were also there and were only going after our father or they didnt care we were there #to this day even bonfires make me nervous if i can only smell them & cant see them. i hate smelling smth burning & panicking #we live in the country now so its very common for ppl to burn leaves and wood and what have you. its still scary sometimes #i think abt this a lot actually bc any fire still makes me lowkey nervous. less so if i know where/what its coming from but still nervous

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moe-broey · 2 months

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I've never been a "born in the wrong generation" type of guy because for So Many reasons I would be dead. Full stop like I would have died during childbirth I would have died of appendicitis age 8 and that's not even factoring in my queerness and neurodivergency and ultimately my mental health (carefully maintained thanks to support/modern advances in medicine and treatment). On Top Of That my hobbies include The Video Game and many such things that are of modern invention (adjacently: including The Device I'm typing this out on right now which has become my main avenue of communication to the outside world)

But I'm just saying that. It WOULD be nice. To exist in a world where fluorescent lighting doesn't exist and everything is possibly 99% less overstimulating all of the time forever.

#and like. a little less capitalist dystopia. i could do with less of that.#but focusing primarily on my own struggle. it's just a bummer sometimes like #i genuinely had fun!!! w my sisters and friends!!! esp at the arcade w ddr that is ALWAYS so fun #but man you can't even take me to your own damn house unless if you're ready to accept vampire rules.#my sister can/does dim the lights if i ask and i don't mind asking it's just fucking crazy to me like #damn uoy guys live like this. bright ass lights ten diff convos at once music in the bg. what if i died on this beanbag #BUT. THAT IS. one thing that is very nice i AM allowed to die on the beanbag!!!!!!! i'm allowed to cozy up and rest #while everyone does their own thing and i can listen in and chime in every now and again. severely underrated tbh #i really only feel a little hopeless when i think about like. public spaces where the only thing i can control is myself #IF i am ever employable again my requirements would be. no florescent lighting. i will die.#which like. kind of limits my prospects.#i do enjoy outdoors/physical work actually though so. i'm just limited bc i have to bind.#i am. so severely. banking on top surgery working out. it won't be a cure-all but by god it WILL open up my options #plus the. constant fatigue. of binding. but not binding is even worse. i need divine intervention (surgery)#SAD. well there are other people in yhe world #but man rhat is like my fave joke to make but i feel so much sadness attached to it. the world will move on without me.#there are a million other people who are far more capable. much 'easier'. ect.#and i know the answer is well there's only one me and there are a handful of people who love me. who keep me and include me #i am very thankful for that.#it's just a bit of a bummer sometimes. i stay silly and have the most fun i can but i am a little sad about it.

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maerrine · 7 months

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man i am a little bummed about how this means that all this time we thought dazai was struggling for the first time was actually all just faked though. i hope we get to see dazai out of his depth at least once before the end of the series.

#bsd spoilers //#i want to see him show emotion... i wanna see him shocked and desperate... i want him to actually like. Genuinely Struggle for once!!#i'm not too down about it though since we've still got plenty of the manga left and therefore plenty of time for that to happen though.#and every time i think about how we're getting closer to finally finding out about fyodor and how sigma and him are clearly going to keep #being relevant going forward i'm like. :D #i am very easily pleased LMAO #but okay coming back to add more thoughts now that time has passed #don't kill me but i do still struggle with dazai feeling too perfect sometimes.#he does everything right and his actual flaws never lead to anything going wrong/any consequences #and he's always treated as right... i'm like. i want to see this man's flaws. give them to me asagiri!!#luckily it doesn't ruin the series for me and i think the fact that other people are essential in his plans does help with that a bit maybe #but it's my main bsd complaint atm.#...negativity aside though there's still time for asagiri to fix it... i want to believe...#now back to thinking about how much i love sigma <3333333 #god when did i become so attached to bsd's cast. asagiri thank u for my life ;w;

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ukulelegodparent · 3 months

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Heartbreaking: This German almost died bc they had to manually select Germany as their location on a German-language website, bc the default was Switzerland or Austria bc that's where the company is from

#jk but also I am always like. surprised by how surprised I am when this happens #like ok swing kitchen I get it you're fancy and from vienna however *I* wanted to order from your new store location #which you didn't let me do anyways bc you're a lying fucking bitch! >:c #I just wanna know how much their fucking burgers cost 🥲#I genuinely can't remember the last time I came across an instance of like. mindlessly browsing the web and reaching a moment #of like 'oh right Austria exists'#I mean it happens a lot with like seeing czech people talk about stuff related to the German language #which is so funny like earlier today I read an article by some radio in prague idk it was like an international intercultural thing #and it was an article in relation to a czech learning program they have for German speakers #and it was about like how to say where you're from etc. I was looking it up bc I needed the name of the castle that #'Rakousko' comes from. But like even having actively searched for the etymology of the czech word for Austria I had a short moment of like #'ah yeah Austria exists'. I think it might've even had it as the first option which would've been stunning!#Sometimes I feel like Austria is more relevant to the Czech Republic than it is to Germany #Jesus Christ we're terrible neighbours I understand why they hate us #Especially like watching Austrian broadcasts it's like. I get the feeling that Germany does get mentioned quite a bit more #than the other way around even on mundane topics #The dynamic is very much 'I hate you' - 'I don't think about you at all'

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todayisafridaynight · 11 months

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YEAH........... YEAH..... LIKEWISE, NO NOTES AT ALL, THAT'S EXACTLY IT... Main antagonist deaths are often treated as "comeuppance," but that would be the ultimate comeuppance for Aoki. As it stands, the only people who actually suffer for it are Ichiban and Jo, and Ichi didn't even do anything wrong. Also please I'm positive there's more to wring out of Aoki and Jo for an essay 😭😭at the very least, I always love to hear your perspective!

"he'd made a social circle for himself where people predominantly liked him for the power and influence" <- incredibly Mine-core of Aoki btw (I also feel the rest applies a little in terms of Mine probably being very quick to write off people who Do care about him as not caring about him, as with Katase, but it's nowhere near the extent of the Arakawas)

Wait actually it's kind of funny... for both Mine and Aoki, I was so sure their endings would go a certain way. Mine and Kiryu'd fight Richardson off together and Ichi'd, I don't know, shield Aoki or hug him so Kume couldn't get to him in the first place, or after that INSANE direct parallel to Arakawa running to the hospital with Masato, he'd miraculously pull through like he did on New Year's. Tormented with visions of the better timeline... With Aoki in particular, it makes me want to tear my hair out because the moment of him choosing to put the gun in the locker was REVOLUTIONARY for the series, looking at the characters he was most heavily based on.

Anyway. Bottom line. These bitches need to hug it out. It was so evil Arakawa didn't hug Ichi at Omi HQ or on the waterfront like bro stop being """manly""" for five seconds you're ruining my life you're ruining your own lives

There'd genuinely be nothing more painful yet more satisfying for an antagonist than being confronted with the consequences of their actions and having to navigate life after having making those decisions, ESPECIALLY when it comes to mending the bonds that- for anyone else- would have shattered long ago. With Aoki being motivated by the want to be loved and appreciated for himself, it would've been nice to see him finally acknowledge that he did have that love and start to better himself as a result (however much he'd be able to while in prison anyway lmao).

The Mine and Aoki comparisons are so real though, I remember joking to myself about it days after beating the game but it just fuels my mental illness every time I think about it ☠️ I LEGALLY AM NOT ALLOWED TO GO OFF ABOUT THE Y7 ENDING I'VE DONE IT TOO MUCH it makes me so mad every time I think about it 😭 ESPECIALLY THE PARALLELS WITH ARAKAWA AND THE LOCKERS UGGGHHH IT COULD HAVE BEEN SUCH AN EPIC CONCLUSION WITH THAT... Arakawa running from the lockers at the start of Aoki's life compared to Ichiban running from the lockers and getting Aoki to the hospital so Aoki can restart life I'm Going To Kill Someone (myself) (in Minecraft)

#snap chats #theres a note here about aoki's self hatred and ergo his inability to believe people could love him without 'worth'#and some kind of. I Dont Know occurs that comes with aoki accepting that love and ergo At Least Tolerating himself #and again becoming better as a person as a result. not WHOLLY you cant undo Everything Wrong With Him with one therapy session #but itd at least be a start and thats far more than anything else rgg has given since like. ryuji in dead souls #but w/e i- as per usual- have the vocabulary of a walrus so we're just gonna have to imagine i said something profound #AND THE LACK OF HUGGING IN THIS FRANCHISE IM GOING TO STAB ALL OF YOU. IN MINECRAFT.#with the power of delusions and this like seven-year-old wacom tablet i can fix that......#it'll never be enough it'll never fill the void in my soul but it'll be something i guess #BUT UGH NO SORRY IM JUST MAD NOW #nothing in my life has ever genuinely triggered anger in me than the y7 ending its just soooooooOOOOO #IT WAS SOOO CLOSE TO BEING PERFECT I CANT #im going to give myself a blood clot thinking about it anymore i feel my heart stopping Do Not Call An Ambulance I Cannot Afford It #so to stop myself from going in any more debt than i already am..... the possibility of any essays from me are very small #my ability to use words is near non existent. i feel like a right ninny sometimes #in any case im not sure what else i could expand on that isn't restating what you've said #cant ever be upset with bein on the same wavelength tho it gives my inarticulate ass a helluva easier time trying to explain LMAO #plus im petrified of trying to interpret anything from the english dub or english subs #and looking into language use is Very Much important when dissecting abusive relationships #i guess there's always just talking about general actions committed and not inspecting the exact words used #idk.. at the very least ill rotate the concept in my head and then fend off the urge to eat my teeth #i'm gonna throw up.... im still thinking of it........ gonna make an unrelated-but-arguably-related post in like three seconds #dont look at it its cringe

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