#and sometimes that can make it difficult as an author to move forward in your writing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vienssunshine · 9 months

Text

You Taste Sweeter Than Revenge

pairing: Josh Washington x fem reader nsfw word count: 4.2k content warning: non-con elements (voyeurism) author's note: I think Josh having a love interest would get in the way of his "prank"

Finally, finally, you get a moment to yourself. You lean your head back against the wooden door of the guest room, basking in your long-awaited solitude.

The process of getting everyone up and settled at the Washingtons’ lodge was draining: Chris wouldn’t shut up about how he caught Sam snooping on his phone, Emily and Jess were at each other's throats over Mike, and Mike and Matt kept competing to be the alpha of the group.

And then there was Josh. Though not as much of a headache as the others, he stirred up some feelings in you that are…more intense than you expected.

Compared to the strong personalities of your friend group, Josh is someone you can relax around; he’s a little peculiar, but sweet and charming in his own way. You two have a strong friendship, however, due to his tendency to be a flirt, you sometimes question the nature of your bond. His teasing affects you more than you’re willing to admit, especially since you find him easy to look at. Thankfully, the comforting knowledge that he says that kind of stuff to everyone allows you to maintain the friendship and keep your attraction as low-key as possible.

Except, you’re having a difficult time with that right now. You can only blame yourself, you’ve been suppressing your feelings towards Josh for so long that it makes sense they’d bubble back up at some point. You just didn’t expect it to be tonight, or to be this bad—every cell in your body is pulsing with desire.

You make your way over to the bed, lying down on it and staring at the ceiling.

Fuck, how does he do this to you?

It started simple, totally harmless. Sam wanted hot water to take a bath, so Josh brought you down to the basement to help him out.

"Hey, it worked!" you exclaimed after hearing the low rumble of the boiler firing up.

“Attagirl,” Josh said, giving you a high-five.

His praise caused a shy smile to break out across your face before you could stop it, making you pray he didn't notice. He did.

"Seems like you're really into high-fives," Josh remarked, "Or, is it the person you're high-fiving?"

He's like this with everyone, you reminded yourself, any flirty banter was nothing special.

"Just love a good high-five," you said, avoiding his eyes by looking down to the basement’s cracked cement.

“Floor that interesting?” he teased, taking a step forward.

His movement prompted you to step back, but you stumbled when your heel hit the shelving unit full of boxes behind you.

Josh’s hands landed on your shoulders, steadying you, but even after you recovered, they stayed there, unmoving. With your eyes now adjusted to the dim basement light, you could note that he had moved much closer than what was necessary to help you. One small lean forward would press his chest to yours.

“Josh?” you said, searching for an explanation for the sudden but—though it makes you feel guilty thinking it—welcome closeness.

A mischievous grin lit up his face and he returned your question with one of his own: “Scared?”

You let your hand fall down onto his chest, fingers fiddling with a button on his flannel. “Not at all,” you responded. You attempted to make eye contact with him after answering, but it felt too intimate with him so close, so you turned your gaze away, yet no matter where you cast it, you’d still see him, his body was enveloping yours.

“Ah, I see, so you’re scared and a liar,” Josh retorts with a smirk. His hand came up to your jaw, holding your face still so you couldn’t avoid looking at him anymore, “What’re you so afraid of, little kitten?”

“Don’t call me that,” you deflected, rolling your eyes. Even though you were trying to come off as unaffected, little sparks flickered and fizzed in your body like summertime fireworks. Was this how a friend should make you feel?

“Oh? Is there something better I should call you instead?” Josh said, tracing his thumb along your jaw. “I can come up with something. Let’s see…honey?” He shook his head, “Nah, too marital. Hmmm, baby? That’s pretty basic, isn’t it?”

“You done yet?” you huffed, shifting your weight and continuing to pretend that hearing him call you pet names wasn’t making your stomach flip. He was being more persistent than usual, it made you wonder what was going on with him tonight.

“I guess I’m not good at this whole romantic nickname thing.” He released your jaw from his hold so his fingers could travel up and tuck a strand of hair behind your ear, “What if I just told you how pretty you are instead?”

Usually you could fend off his flirty comments by retorting with a somewhat decent response, but you were entirely at a loss for what to say. It didn’t help that your body was working against you, fully responding to Josh’s advances in a distractingly enthusiastic way. It’s hard to figure out why he’s being so aggressive with his flirting when your heart is thundering in your ears.

You try to move back, only to be reminded of the shelves of storage keeping you in place, sandwiching you between them and Josh’s large frame. Since retreat wasn’t an option, you tried to diffuse the situation as best you could.

“Slow down there,” you said with a nervous laugh, “A girl could get the wrong idea.”

With your palm on his chest, you felt his heart begin to pound. Josh’s hands moved down to your waist, traveling more hesitantly than his brusque teasing suggested they would. You forced yourself to keep your expression unchanging when they rested on the curve of your torso, sending scattered bolts of electricity up your sides. There was anxious authenticity in his tone as Josh said, “Maybe I’ve been wanting you to get that idea for some time now.”

You weren’t sure what to think, was he trying to say he was into you? But, that couldn’t be it, he flirts with everyone, not just you. A conversation he had with Chris that was particularly homoerotic came to mind. It was clear you weren’t special. However, there have been multiple times his attention towards you felt heavy-handed, though you tried to not overthink it, not wanting to be wrong about his intentions. Regardless, as he spoke to you, there was an undeniable charge in the air, the anticipation of what his possible confession meant buzzing around the two of you. If he was saying what you thought he was, this could be your chance to tell him how you’ve felt all this time.

His eyes flicked over your face and just as you opened your mouth to respond, a loud noise made both of you jump.

It was a metallic, dull sound filling the basement with its unsettlingly rhythmic beat. Both of you turned your heads to one of the hallways in the basement where the sound was coming from.

“Uh, sorry to interrupt this, but, and I really don’t want to, I think we should check that out,” you told Josh.

He blinked, reorienting himself, and then said, “Yeah, uh…sure, let’s go.”

You both began to walk deeper into the basement, closing in on the origin of the unnatural noise. It bellowed through the basement’s cement walls, consuming the hallway with its ominous tone. You followed a few paces behind Josh, but as you got further down the hall, you brought your hand forward and wrapped your fingers around his forearm. Being able to feel him made you feel safer. He paused for a second, but didn’t say anything, so you kept your hand on him as you advanced.

You were about to turn the corner and follow the noise further down into the basement when a shadowy figure jumped out at you. Your heart stopped beating for a second, only resuming its rapid pounding after you had turned and begun to run from the intruder.

Sprinting down the hallway, you yelled for Josh to run, the next and only thought in your brain being the escape that was the basement door. The masked figure followed in hot pursuit, just a few strides behind you.

You jumped up the basement stairs three at a time until you reached and nearly collided with the door, needing to step back before trying to pull it open. You yanked and you pulled, but the door was unyielding. You were screaming nonsense at Josh, and he was responding to you as best he could, telling you that everything was going to be okay. His arm hovered around you protectively, separating you from the approaching intruder.

The masked figure reached the top of the stairs and Josh stepped toward him, taking on a defensive stance. Then, the man draped in black held his arms up above his head and let out a ghostly wail that sounded…stupid.

Your eyebrows pressed together, and you choked out a “Huh?”, looking over to Josh, who had cracked a smile.

Your eyes darted between the two men, trying to work out what was going on. The intruder pulled off his mask, revealing Chris underneath, cracking up at the ingenious of his own prank.

“You’re fucking kidding me,” you said, face burning up.

“Good one, Cochise,” Josh congratulated.

You punched Chris in the shoulder, huffing how his prank wasn’t as funny as he thought it was, which only made him laugh harder.

“Were you in on this?” You turned to Josh, trying to mask your feeling of betrayal.

“Nope,” Josh chuckled, patting Chris on the back, “But I wish I had been.”

“Whatever, you two,” you said, grabbing the basement’s key from Chris and storming out of there.

“Hey, wait up!” Josh called after you.

“Let her go, Josh,” Chris said, “C’mon, I finally found the Ouija board.”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Josh responded, hurrying to follow you into the guest room hallway.

You had your hand on the doorknob of your room when you felt his fingers around your other wrist, tugging you back.

“Not in the mood, Josh,” you said, pulling your hand away. Though, you didn’t attempt to open the wooden door again, instead turning to face him.

“Hey, it was just a prank, right? You know Chris, he was just kidding around. No harm, no foul,” Josh said. If he were intending to make you feel better, it would be helpful if he said that like he fully believed it.

You sighed, exasperated. “Yeah, it’s not a big deal. I just-I probably looked so stupid.”

Josh stepped closer. “You were scared, I was too,” he said, his hand landing on the side of your arm, squeezing it, “No shame in that.” He let out a small chuckle, “I’m taking notes, Chris did a damn good job.”

“I guess,” you shrugged.

Josh stared back at you, puzzled, before breaking out into a small grin, “I know there was one part that I really liked.”

You looked away, appearing to find the sight of the doors lining the shadowy hall more interesting than him, but still took the bait, “And what part was that?”

Josh’s hand traveled down your arm, not once separating from it, to encircle your wrist. You shifted your gaze back to watch him place your hand on his forearm, the rolled-up sleeves of his flannel allowing direct contact with his warm skin. “I like that, when you’re scared, you hold onto me,” he confessed.

The air of indifference is hard to maintain now, but you still try. “I didn’t know you were so observant, Josh.”

He rested his hand on top of yours. “Just with you.”

You cursed yourself for how easy it was for him to win you over with a stupid, corny comment. Any embarrassment from the prank was superseded by the new tingly sensation in your stomach. Though, the adrenaline must have remained because you want to do something about the fact that, for all the time you’ve known Josh, you’ve never once tried flirting back.

Your fingers tightened around his forearm, noting the musculature present underneath his tan skin. You hadn’t realized how strong he had gotten. “Y’know, Josh,” you started.

“Yeah?” he breathed. He can feel your hand flex underneath his palm as you stroke your thumb along his arm with gentle swipes.

It was scary to even hint at how much you were feeling him right then, but you pushed through. “Maybe, I just like touching you,” you offered, “Scared or not.”

He exhaled unevenly, seemingly going to great lengths to keep himself still. It was new, to feel like your words had weight, for them to be the reason his gaze felt so heavy as he raked it over your body. The interaction felt dangerous but exciting; you didn’t want to shy away anymore.

“Josh!” Chris’ voice reverberated through the lodge.

“I really am gonna kill him,” you muttered. Josh let his arm drop back to its place by his side.

“Get in line,” he said, which earned a giggle from you.

Another call from Chris, “Where are you, bro? Ashley’s here. C��mon, it’s Ouija board time!”

Josh shook his head, “I…I should go, I can’t leave them hanging.”

“You sure you don't want to stay?” you asked, looking up at him through your eyelashes. It’s funny, how you were just running away from him and were now trying to keep him from leaving.

He stiffened, seemingly weighing his options in his mind. His hesitation made you smile, you liked having an influence over him.

But it was not enough, because he relaxed into his typical playful energy, saying, “Unfortunately, I’m already tied up. I’ve got big plans for those two tonight.”

You frown, “Yeah, I bet the Ouija board madness will be one for the books.”

“You’ll just have to wait and see,” he replied. Then he continued more earnestly, “But maybe we can hang out later? Finish our conversation?”

You pressed your lips together; you didn’t want to wait. However, it was probably for the better, if you were to have Josh, you would want it without interruptions.

“Okay, let’s talk later,” you agreed. He nodded, stepping back to go join Chris, but, before he could, you grabbed his shoulder and pushed yourself up on your toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was quick and impulsive, but for some reason, you felt that if you hadn’t done it then, you wouldn’t get the chance in the future.

“Later, then,” he said, a soft smile spreading across his face. He turned and walked back to find Chris, leaving you standing all alone in the long hallway, longing for more.

So now you lie spread out on a quilt atop the guest room bed, head spinning as you relive your conversations with Josh. You should’ve invited him in; the want pulsing through the veins in your body wouldn’t be so hard to manage if you did. But to deal with Chris and the teasing that would have ensued from your ruthless friend group wouldn’t be much fun either.

Your arms wrap around your sides, hugging yourself as you think about being down in the basement with him, how his voice lowered when he spoke more seriously about his feelings, how you could feel the waves of heat radiating off his body despite the area’s chilled atmosphere. You’ve never had him that close to you before; the closest you’ve ever been was when he dared you to go on the Ferris wheel at a local fair with him, claiming you were too chicken to do it, and the small cart forced you to sit hip-to-hip as he laughed and you bit back your terror.

The memory makes you realize how long you’ve wanted this for. How long you’ve stifled your feelings, your attraction, your desire. Now that it’s happening, knowing that he feels the same way, it’s hard to hold back.

The cold winter storm outside does little to hinder the warmth dripping down your stomach like honey as, for the first time, you let yourself wonder what would have happened if it went further, wish it went further.

Your hands travel down to the waistband of your jeans, unbuttoning and unzipping them. You’re aching right now; you just want to feel better.

Only, though you don’t know it, there’s a camera in your room. And through its lens, there’s someone who’s watching.

Josh removes his skull-like mask so he can get a better look at the footage in front of him. He had come down to his hide-out in the basement, intending to electronically lock the gates around the lodge so he can continue enacting his revenge, but something on one of the multiple television screens stacked atop his desk drew his attention.

Even if the recording is black and white and somewhat obscured by pixelation, there’s no doubt that it’s you, sprawled out over one of the guest beds, pulling off your pants and bringing your hands down between your thighs.

Josh looks behind him, feeling like he shouldn’t be seeing this, but returns his gaze to the screen anyway, eyes widening as you begin to touch yourself, running your fingertips atop the soaked gusset of your underwear. Your head falls back onto one of the pillows lined up along the bed’s wooden headboard, eyes shut in bliss at long-awaited contact.

Josh steps forward, locks whatever gate he no longer really cares for, and turns his full attention to the glowing screen. He had the strength to refuse you earlier, though not without difficulty, especially after you kissed him, but that resource has since been depleted as he’s unable tear himself away from the tv, completely entranced. He has other things he should be doing, things he’s been planning for a year now, but he just can’t.

Your eyebrows are pressed together and your mouth slightly ajar as you begin to enjoy the feeling of your fingers, falling into a sensual, pleasurable rhythm. A slight rush of air escapes Josh’s lips as his body heats up, reminiscent of when he was pushed up against you in the basement. He found it hard to focus on his words with the way your body felt so soft underneath his hands. He can only imagine what it would be like if he were with you now, feeling your hot skin against his. He wonders if you’re imagining the same, wonders if that’s what’s getting you off, the fantasy of it being his fingers stroking the wet fabric of your underwear, making you jolt and twitch under his touch.

Josh isn’t sure when he got hard, maybe he has been this whole time, but what he knows now is that his erection is starting to ache. His gaze doesn’t falter from your body and its movements as his gloved hand travels downwards so he can palm himself through his overalls, desperate to relieve even just a fraction of the desire thrumming through his body.

He groans when you tug off your underwear, exposing yourself fully. You bring your hands to your soaked folds, touch now unobstructed by cloth, and start to draw slow circles on your clit.

Oh, you really like that. Josh drinks in every detail, intent on knowing how you like to be touched so he can burn into his memory. It’s an intimate moment, that you and Josh are both pleasuring yourselves together, even if you don’t know you’re sharing it.

You twist and turn on the bed, your free hand gripping the sheets beneath you as your fingers pick up in speed, applying more pressure to your sensitive clit. Though, that hand only stays tangled in the sheets for a moment, finding a better use pressed against your open mouth in a half-hearted attempt to muffle your sweet pants and moans.

Josh wonders if you’re hoping he’ll hear you and come in to catch you in the act; the thought has his hips bucking into the surface of his gloved hand, finding just friction to be unsatisfactory.

Then you break him, because as you’re running your fingertips along your glistening folds, you mouth his name. Josh. It’s undeniable now, you’re touching yourself while thinking of him.

He should be focusing on the prank, his revenge, everything he’s worked so hard to do, but all he can feel is the urge to fuck his fist at the sight of you purring his name.

He peels off his overalls, letting them fall by his boots, and unzips his dark jeans so he can pull out his dick, wrapping his hand around it. It’s hot to the touch and leaking pre-cum, no doubt a product of the strenuous sexual tension underlying your conversations. He begins to run his hand along his length, the extent of his own arousal making him shudder from the movement.

His forearm is covered in veins that travel underneath his skin like lightning, and as he pumps his needy cock, they stretch and bulge with his movements. Not so long ago, your hand rested on the same forearm that flexes as Josh fucks himself. He can feel it now, phantom grazes of your delicate fingers tracing his veins as he drives his dick through the tight grasp of his hand. Oh, how he wants you to be there, for you to be the one touching him.

He crumples forward, a single arm pressed against the table’s edge as his only means of support. God, the desire is eating him alive.

He should have just taken you when you were down in the basement. Pulled you into him and pressed his lips to yours, creepy sound be damned.

You’d be flustered of course, and probably try to act like you didn’t know what happened, all despite the fact that he knows you’d kiss him back with equal passion. You try to act tough, but he can tell that his little comments get you hot. Josh knew you were going to crack at some point, and the way you’re writhing around on a bed in his lodge proves him right.

If only you weren’t so damn stubborn about hiding your feelings. It’s been so obvious that you’re into him, with your bashful smiles or secret glances you don’t think he catches, but, at every opportunity he’s tried to give you, you shy away.

He should teach you a lesson for your coy attitude, you need to learn that being direct with him is what’s best. He contemplates going to find you in the guest room and fucking your brains out, it would show you how much you’ve been missing by being shy.

Though, Josh likes the idea of punishing you more. He’d like to get his revenge on you for prolonging his frustrating and tortuous weeks of pining after you, trying to get it into your head how much he liked you.

If he were to have his way, he would edge you, get you so close that you’re whining his name, pleading for your release, and then watch your expression turn when he withholds it from you. Maybe he’d earn a cute pout, or even better, you’d beg for him to continue. Josh curls into himself, his movements faster and sloppier, desire running rampant through his body.

He watches you sink a finger into your soaked entrance, seeking to relieve the painful emptiness of your canal. Josh wonders if it’s enough. The desperate roll of your hips as you try to push your finger deeper tells him it’s not, that you need more—that you need him. He watches you pause for a second, a cute frown on your lips, as you come to the same realization he has: it’ll never be enough if it’s not him. Josh exhales sharply, exalted.

You still try your hardest, though you can’t be blamed for the fruitless effort with your head so dizzy from lust. You push your finger in and out of your wet vagina as your other hand stimulates your clit, though awkwardly. It would be so much easier—feel so much better—if he were with you.

Josh sees no need to punish you for the heartache you put him through anymore, you’re doing it yourself right now, working so hard despite the fact that you’re unable to get yourself over the edge. He likes that you’re probably longing for him right now, wishing he were there to make you feel good.

It might be his sadistic side, or the fact that he feels needed, that does it for him, but your struggle gets Josh to his limit, his hand gripping onto the side of the table as he bucks his hips into his dripping hand. With a sloppy pump, he comes, white ropes shooting out as he presses his eyes shut in utter bliss. He seriously considers that you could turn into an obsession of his, if you haven’t already.

Josh takes a deep breath, trying to calm his uneven breathing, and realizes you’ve given up on getting yourself off, redressing yourself while dissatisfaction mars your pretty face. He feels bad for a second, wanting to make you feel better, but his eyes flick to another screen to realize Chris is waking up from the sleeping gas, meaning Josh is short on time if he wants to fake his own death.

He cleans himself off, redresses, and after one last look at the screen, he leaves.

He’ll deal with you later.

#josh washington x you #josh washington smut #josh washington #josh washington x reader #josh until dawn #josh until dawn smut #until dawn josh #until dawn #until dawn smut #chris hartley

482 notes · View notes

boots-with-the-fur-club · 1 month

Text

Next part of the hand saga!

Prev, Next

@daboyau

@phoebepheebsphibs

@littlemissartemisia

@that0n3shr00mi3guy

“Answer our other questions first! I don’t trust you after everything you’ve done! After everything you’ve caused! You….you helped kill my brother!” Donnie screeches, hand on his tech bō shaking so badly out of anger he worries he might break it.

“I never meant for you to be harmed this way. You won’t believe me when I say it, but none of this was born from malice. I haven’t spoken until now because there was no need to. As for why I’ve been tormenting you….it’s for a reason you are not going to easily accept.”

“Just say it already!” Leon insists.

“I did it because I was asked to.”

Raph nearly hits the hand with his fist, just barely hitting the ground next to it.

“You think we asked for this!?”

“No. You didn’t. Someone else did.“

“Who!? Who would ask for this to happen to us!? To everyone else!?” Donnie asks.

“To put it simply, the people who made you.”

“W-We don’t even know our original parents….” Mikey comments.

“No, not just you. Your entire world. Everyone in this competition is formed from a collection of ideas from an author or authors. These authors gave you the titles you go by. They sent you here to compete. To meet other characters in their own stories. To promote their own stories. That’s how this started. No Fun in Fungus, they simply sent an “ask” of mushrooms, spores. Then your author wanted more, one for each of you.”

“What possible reason could there be for doing this to us!?” Donnie grits his teeth.

“To give more to your story. To bring you all closer together. I too was created in this way, for this purpose. I have merely been a tool to different beings. It may sound ridiculous, maybe even insensitive, tragic, but you should consider what you have gotten. What you’ve learned. When Karai was brought here, you were even told not to think too hard about such a concept.”

Each of the brothers want to make the argument that it’s crazy, but they do in fact remember what the competition mod said to them.

“Even Misa giving you those flowers was an ask sent by an author. These asks…..they were all in good fun. Hurting you was just to make comfort all the better. You were never supposed to die. You were never even supposed to be seriously injured. I just enjoyed seeing all the stories coming from the spores so much. It’s gone too far. It’s why I want to help now, before someone is killed in a way they can’t come back from. No Fun in Fungus was already over, they were supposed to rest. You all still have a lot of story left to tell, it’s not supposed to end here.”

The four of them take in this crazy amount of information they’ve just been told. Can they really trust the hand after all they’ve been through?

“What can you even do to help?” Leon questions angrily.

“The spores are not the only item I possess, as you know. I am intertwined into your and No Fun in Fungus’ storylines. For that reason, I am able to bring out what is called a plot device.” The hand moves to the side, revealing TNT charges connected to an empty base.

“There’s nothing in there.” Donnies says dryly.

“Sometimes plot devices are there to urge the story forward in different ways. In order for this to work, I need mystic energy from each of you. That may be difficult for Michelangelo in his current state, perhaps I could find another one-“

“Mikey, my brother I love so much, I did not bring you back from the dead for you to kill yourself again. Lay. Down.” Leon threatens.

Mikey lays back down.

“It does not have to be him. Because of your being separated at first, you haven’t had the chance to completely understand ninpo. It seems only Mikey truly has.” The hand explains.

“You mean the sacrificial martyrs? Why would we want to know about them? Mikey’s been doing that way too much already!” Leon complains.

“Hamato have sacrificed themselves numerous times, that is true. You’ve seen it be true. Ninpo isn’t inherently about dying for a cause. It’s just how it’s been used a lot, considered the only way. It also has been used to save. Out of love. You’ve seen that too. Ninpo is about the connection to your family. That’s why Donatello was able to use it. That’s why Mikey woke up and used it. When you’re about to lose who you hold dear, your connection strengthens more than ever.”

DvD glances at Mikey. They stare at each other for a second or two. It’s true that they’ve been through an experience nobody else could, or should, truly replicate.

Maybe DvD sort of understands why the NFIF group are the way they are. Obviously he knows how it feels to want to protect his brothers after almost losing them, but what he’s learning is why they’re so willing to throw away their lives even for people who just look vaguely like family.

It’s so much easier to experience pain than to experience someone you love going through pain.

It’s a sentiment he wouldn’t have even considered before everything they’ve been through. Something Draxum never would have let him ponder.

He loves his family.

It’s messed up, they lost years of being able to know each other, there was so much distrust, and things aren’t even close to perfect right now.

But this is his family.

Even April, who has zero blood relation to them but still went through all this just to help.

Misa, who’s yearned for family and takes the role of an elder sibling because she wants to take care of others despite her young age.

Karai, who is related to them but wasn’t originally even supposed to know them if her mission had succeeded.

Something he’d protect with his life.

The hand brings the container closer. DvD looks back at it and hesitantly puts his hand on it. A purple, glowy, shiny substance pours inside. He takes it back after a moment, feeling like he was drained a little bit, but otherwise fine.

Raph and Leo look down at it in surprise before the latter takes on more of a bitter expression.

“I’m the one who took care of Mikey. I protected him. I did my best every single day for years to feed him, clothe him, give him what he needs. I was there for him longer than any of you. Why don’t I have powers like him and Donnie? Are….are they closer….than we are?” Leon frowns deeply.

“No! Leo, I love you just as much! I promise! That’s not how it is-!” Mikey voice cracks from how raw his throat still is.

Raph gently rubs his shell.

“He’s right. Connection to family doesn’t mean how much you love them, but how you think about yourself in relation to them. Insecurity about your place in it.” The hand stares.

Leo feels all eyes on him and starts messing with the material on his pants to avoid addressing what was just said.

“Welp, no insecurity here. Must be something else.”

“The fate of the multiverse might be in danger at this point, you’re going to avoid talking about what we already practically know? Why you left Mikey before-“

“I don’t want to talk about it!” Leo yells, interrupting.

He holds onto Mikey tighter.

Mikey presses his cheek against Leo’s and nuzzles into it as much as possible.

“I….I haven’t….gotten over anything. When I got spored, it reminded me of everything I’m afraid of. I….I…..still can’t accept that any of you love me! I-It’s hard work to even like me, loving me? I-Impossible! Nobody actually does! I-I made Mikey feel like he has to be loyal to me because I took him in. I forced him to never leave me and then I left him! And then he forgave me because he’s so nice and lovable! He’s a pretty painted picture but I’m just a bunch of shredded pieces that I can’t tape back together! Why can’t someone just finally sweep it all up into the trash!?” Leo sobs.

Raph, Donnie and Mikey’s jaws all drop. They’ve been aware of just how hard it’s been for Leo to understand that he’s wanted, a real, true part of the family. What they didn’t know is just how lowly he really thinks of himself.

Leo sniffles.

“I’m cursed. I always have been. Even if I am a part of this family, I shouldn’t be. Look what happened! To Mikey! To gram-gram! To all of you! Not just now, but before too! And you saw what happened to the NFIF guys! Leo helped feed me and Mikey and then he went missing and I just know whatever is happening in that room to him is awful! NFIF Raph held me and tried to protect me and he’s still back there too! You’re all going to get hurt or die or worse with me around! I-I should be alone, I should at least be punished for everything I’ve-!”

DvD, surprisingly, is the one who pulls Leo into as tight of a hug as he can manage without hurting him.

“Shut up.”

“Wh-What? Is….is this supposed to make me feel better or are you angry?”

“Both! The only person who thinks you’re not worth anything is you! How dare you say that I don’t care about you!? I do! You should care about you too! You want to stop being a burden!? Then don’t make us live without you! If you weren’t here, Mikey would be dead right now. If he hadn’t wanted to be with you and didn’t leave those families, we wouldn’t have this family. We wouldn’t have found each other. Give yourself more credit.”

Leo goes back to hiccuping sobs as he buries his face in DvD’s shoulder.

Mikey starts crying as well, despite how much he’s already been doing.

“I-I’ll rip up my picture a-and we can make one up ourselves! I-I can give you tape! J-Just please, d-don’t go again! I-I love you so much!”

Leo pulls him more into the hug, they wet each other’s faces with their tears.

Raph wraps around them all.

“You told that other me before about how you know he’s not a bad guy. How we’ve all made mistakes. You should give yourself the same benefit of the doubt. You aren’t cursed, bad things……just happen. A lot. What was going to happen to the NFIF guys would have without meeting you. But now because they met us, we can help them. There’s not a day that goes by where I’m not glad you’re in the family, Leo. I love that I know you. I love you.” He rest his chin on top of Leo’s head.

Leo and Mikey keep crying until they’ve finally calmed down.

The hand once again offers the container towards Leo.

“How….do I do it?”

“Think of your family as a something within you, and release it. Raphael, you as well.” The hand urges.

“What? Me? But didn’t have any breakthrough or anything…..”

“Right now is the moment you feel closest to your family. It may also help to remember who is not here, and wanting to get her back.”

Leo and Raph nod, both placing their hands on the container. Red and blue pours in before the hand takes it away.

“Where…..are you going to find a replacement for me?” Mikey brings up.

April suddenly bursts inside the room.

“You guys! He took Misa!”

April had kept walking until they could no long hear Mikey scream. It took everything she had to not go back to help. Misa wanted to go back too, but as grown up as she thinks she is, nobody should be seeing that.

Nobody should be experiencing that.

It’s not like the turtles were adults either. They shouldn’t have to listen to their brother scream and beg for the nightmare to end. It’s something they have to do though because the only good adult they have around has been taken.

It’s painful to not be able to do anything else, but this is incredibly important. Misa needs her right now.

“Is….little big brother….going to be okay?” Misa asks, looking up at her with wide eyes.

“He’s got everyone else with him, they’re going to do whatever he needs them to.” April assures.

Misa looks down.

“I want to help Raphie too.”

April bites them inside of her cheek. Guilt for leaving him is gnawing at her as well. Wasn’t there anything else she could have done? All that guy has being doing this whole competition is trying to protect everyone from the spores.

Who protects him?

“We’re going to, when we have a plan.”

“But….but it’s going to be too late!” Misa whines.

“Hey, we don’t know that. Maybe….maybe the void guys helped out and he’s coming back to us now!” April suggests, vaguely aware it’s probably a huge lie.

Misa pouts until footsteps draw her and April’s attention.

“Raphie!!” Misa shouts excitedly shouts, wriggling out of April’s arms.

“Misa! Wait!” April reaches out too late.

The young girl runs up to NFIF Raph who picks her up. They smile at each other.

“Hey, kid. Glad I found ya. I have something real important I need you to do.”

“How can Misa help?”

“I need to borrow your portal sword.”

Misa gladly hands it to him.

April sees a glowing, blue tear roll down his cheek.

“Misa! Get away from him!”

Misa looks at her in confusion before seeing Raph’s eyes fill with blue. She begins grabbing at her sword but he keeps it out of her reach. He then holds her tight, close to his plastron and tucked under his arm.

Raph’s smile falls. The glowing tears fall freely down his cheeks with no signs of stopping. He looks over at April with a sorrowful expression.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep my promise. I really tried. I just….there’s no reason for me to fight anymore. My family is all back there. Even if I did fight, everything I do fails.”

“Raph! That’s not true! Fight it, we can save your brothers together! You don’t have to do this!”

“No, doing this is the only way he won’t hurt Misa. It had to be me. All we need is the sword and to use her as bait. She’ll be okay. I’d promise, but….my promises don’t mean much…..” He opens a portal.

“No! Raph! Misa!” April poofs to get close, but ends up falling on top of nothing after the portal disappears.

“Where did he take her!? Back to that room!? Are they sporing her again!? She can’t survive that! Mikey didn’t!” DvD panics.

“Hold on, what do you mean he didn’t-WHY IS THE HAND HERE!? IS THAT TNT!?” April points.

“Be not afraid-“

“IT TALKS!?”

UIFY Raph explains what happened. April feels like her feet are stuck to the floor. It’s only been 15 minutes and things somehow turned even more disastrous.

“H-How are we going get more ninpo!? That could kill Mikey again!”

“It can come from you-“ The hand starts.

April slams her hand onto the container.

“I want to save them! Please work! Do your magic thingy!”

Shockingly, it does work. Green pours into the container and the colors all being swirling with each other. They glow even brighter.

“This should be enough. I can set up the charge behind the wall that houses the main mushroom.”

“Wait, won’t that hurt the other me?” Leo brings up.

“He’s survived worse.”

“That’s not a good reason!”

“He’ll be alive and the spores will be gone. Is that not what you want?”

“It is, but-!”

The lights suddenly shut off.

DvD quickly turns on the light from his phone.

“Oh what now!?”

“Hello everyone in the competition! It’s your new overlord, Audrey III!” Donnie’s voice calls from a speaker in the room.

Oh no.

DvD quickly searches the room for some medical masks which he puts on and passes out to his brothers and April once they’re found. If he thinks what’s about to happen is really happening, they need protection.

Leo careful puts Mikey’s on for him and then carries him on his back as they all leave the room.

There’s panic and chaos everywhere from the sudden darkness. People are bumping into things and shouting.

The nearby vents start releasing the familiar, sickening spores.

“Don’t resist. Or do, your fear is tastier that way.”

#tw death mention #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt #no fun in fungus #rottmnt until i found you #until i found you au #tw selfhate #2018 tmnt #rise of the tmnt

58 notes · View notes

eatmangoesnekkid · 3 months

Text

Anointed

Life tends to come easier to you than most people because you are here to serve the evolution of the collective in moving forward. Various types of people tend to be attracted to you but it is the anointed energy that they are really attracted to in different ways. When you are anointed, it doesn’t mean you won’t have difficult times or hard decisions to make that can disappoint other people, or that you are perfect, but it does mean that you will have a kind of magical, mystical life living in ongoing flow states. When there is an anointing placed on your life, it is a sacred divine calling that can feel terrifying to say “yes” to, to permit all the way inside, but you have to. You must. Resistance will show up, at times, in very trickster ways. Sometimes you will be required to leave behind your neighborhood, family, job, church, eating habits, relationship, comforts, etc. Because no one can do what you can in the unique frequency that you can, and that is why you are anointed and must answer the call. I’m thinking of people like Zora Neale Hurston, Tina Turner, and even Katt Williams. -India Ame’ye, Author

Scheduled post from hubspot.com

….but even if you don’t feel anointed, begin to sense yourself as so. Everywhere you go, you are loved. Feel it. Opportunities are always comes your way. The way of love and path of beauty is your life. Inhale that!

81 notes · View notes

starastrologyy · 2 years

Text

Astrology Observations 🪶

Hi everyone, this is another compilation of random Astro observations!

I will be closing my chart readings at the end of August for a few weeks, as I do have a full-time job on top of doing Readings but for now they are still open 🤍 The link to my website is in my bio if you are interested in purchasing a reading.

Please do not repost any of my work on other social media platforms🤍

Having a Sagittarius Rising in a composite chart can suggest that the two people met abroad! Alternatively, there could be significant cultural or religious differences between the two. Sometimes it could just mean that these two enjoy traveling together, and other people see them as a very open-minded and free-spirited couple.

People who have Lilith (black moon) In the 3rd house often fear that people are talking about them, or creating false narratives about them.

People who have Uranus Retrograde in their charts might often feel like the “odd one out”. They may struggle to find their community, or place in the world. Alternatively, they may feel as if they don’t have control over the area of life in which their Uranus is situated in. For example, someone with Uranus Retrograde placed in their 10th house, may feel as if they cannot control their reputation, or they experience frequent/uncontrollable changes in their careers or career path. Their relationships with the Authority figures in their lives (bosses, fathers, mentors) are also very unpredictable and constantly changing. Remember that retrogrades in our charts, show us the area of life where we will constantly need to go back and revise/make the necessary changes in order for us to move forward.

TW:Mental Illness:

To be very honest I try shy away from associating astrological placements/aspects with certain illnesses or conditions. For two reasons, one, it can be harmful to people who have that placement, and two, its a very controversial topic in the astrological community, as some people believe that astrology cannot show any kind of illness (I am not one of those people). However, I will say I have seen two aspects in peoples charts that frequently have manifested as certain mental difficulties. A close conjunction between the Moon and Saturn can cause someone to feel melancholic, as it often manifests as Depression . Whereas, Mercury square Neptune is very common in the charts of people who have been diagnosed with BPD (an orb of 2 degrees or less). Please don’t make this apply to you if it doesn’t, and my intention isn’t to offend or upset anybody, I just thought it would be interesting to share this observation.

People who have their Saturn placed in the 5th house often struggle when it comes to “letting loose” and having fun. These people often need to work on healing their inner child, as they fear being judged and ridiculed by others. In some cases, they may have experienced rejection or harsh criticism from others at an early age. There’s also insecurities related to their ability to attract romantic partners with this placement.

Water mercuries often communicate from a place of emotion, and they often take criticism from others very personally. Not EVERY water mercury is going to be sensitive, but they tend to favor emotion/intuition over rationality and logic most of the time.

In synastry, having 2nd, 7th, 8th, or 11th house overlays with someone can be very beneficial to you financially. The 7th house more in a business sense, as you have the potential to enter into a business partnership with this person.

It’s not uncommon to adopt an entirely new aesthetic/make drastic changes to your personality during a 1st house profection year.

I’ve mentioned this in one of my very first posts but, Transit Pluto or Saturn squaring your Sun or Moon is one of the most difficult transits that you will face. I don’t think astrology should be used to fearmonger, but these transits are really difficult (especially if they are occurring simultaneously) . However, once it’s passed you will become an incredibly strong person, and you will find that you more equipped to deal with life’s challenges moving forward.

Major Jupiter transits occurring alongside positive Venus transits are likely to be a very good time in your life. For example, let’s say you have transit Jupiter making a conjunction to your Natal Moon, and it is making a trine to your natal Venus. This is likely to be a very positive time in your life, and you are inclined to be in good spirits. If transit Venus is also making positive aspects to your luminaries or other personal planets the affects of the positive Jupiter transits are likely to be magnified.

Saturn transiting your 1st house is often associated with weight loss, and I can confirm that weight-loss is very likely during this transit. But I will say, that it’s not always the result of a great exercise and diet regimen, some people feel very stressed or isolated during this transit and thus they may lose weight as a result.

In synastry, I’ve noticed that couples who have Hard aspects (squares, oppositions, conjunctions) to each other’s Venus and Mars, often have very steamy/active sex lives. This is especially true with Mars opposite Mars, Venus square Mars, and Mars square Mars.

Sagittarius Venus & Mars individuals are very experimental when it comes to sex. These people are quite open-minded and they bore very easily in relationships. So, they tend to gravitate towards friends with benefits or relationships with people who are also open-minded. This doesn’t mean they can’t be monogamous, because most of them are, contrary to popular belief. They just need adventure and fun in their relationships.

Couples who have significant 3H synastry are usually vocal with each other about sex. They often discuss what they like or don’t like ahead of time. Alternatively, this can also show a couple who enjoy talking DURING sex!

#astrology #astrology tumblr #astrology observations #astro posts #astrology blog #synastry #astro thoughts #astrologyposts #astro tips #astro notes #astrology tips #spirituality #astrologyreadings #astrology content #astrology community #astro blog

797 notes · View notes

wishing-stones · 6 months

Note

How do your takes on the boys set them apart from others do you think?

I'll be refering to them with their call names in this one

Targe(Killer) is a little difficult to say this for, because I think he's pretty standard. I'll say maybe that it's his loyalty to Nightmare that makes him unique. I haven't seen a lot of people explore that close friendship they have going on, the unwavering loyalty that doesn't often get explained. Killer owes Nightmare his life for rescuing him from his AU. Also, Targe is really, really competent. Scary smart, thinks quickly on his feet, and doesn't let his authority go questioned. He's a fantastic leader, not just a chaos gremlin.

Mote(Dust) is also hard to answer this for since I don't have a ton of other Dust interpretations to go off of. I'd say he's maybe a little more down-to-earth and... present? Than other takes I've seen on him. That he's not so lost in his delusions constantly. They're there, they're integral to his character, but he's also clever and resourceful. He's quiet, but he pays attention. I think I've said before that his character is the one closest still to his canon counterpart-- he's really just Sans who had an infinite run of Really Bad Days.

Haft(Axe) is a lot more chill than other Horrors I've seen. He doesn't regret what he's done at all-- he did what he had to in order to survive, and he's settled whatever guilt he might have had over that fact. He's also still blisteringly smart, and I have seen Horror played to be a little... dim sometimes, which does him an incredible disservice IMO. His 'canon' self (in the HT comic) is still smart, just a really jaded and kind of twisted survivalist. Haft has gone past that and into resolved survivalist. Suvival by whatever means necessary-- he had to defend himself and his brother more times than he cares to admit. Still... he's a big softy under it. He's a kind person at heart, he's just not gonna agonize over doing whatever needs doing. Haft also has a better relationship with food than I've seen portrayed. He's had time to work on it in his service to Nightmare.

Saltire(Cross) gets along with the guys a lot better than other instances of Cross I've seen with the BSG. He's also not as guilt-ridden, as his situation is fairly permanent. He's safe and secure in Nightmare's Hold, he does what he must in order to get by, and all things considered... it's not so bad. He has good food and drink, a nice room, gets to stretch his legs a bit with multiversal jaunts, a dedicated place to train, and a leader who respects and appreciates his capabilities. He's free here. Still, he's pretty withdrawn and takes a long time to trust, especially if someone (Killer) has stung him in the past. Sal... wants to move forward, even though his past weighs him down heavily. He reminds me of a big standoffish white wolf.

Sorpor(Baggs) doesn't have a whole lot different than his source material. I try to write him as close to canon as I can. The most he has that's different is that he's a little taller and knows about the multiverse. The latter can and probably will cause some interesting divergence from his canon timeline, considering he's aware of resets and how they can go (read: really badly). He has perephreral knowledge about some other things that can happen to the underground as well (Flowey, namely-- he wasn't present for the Photoshop Flowey fight, but he heard about it in therapy sessions). I'd say over time he's also gotten a little bit more direct because trying to manipulate the guys into what you want them to do is harder when they'll dance around with you. Straight and to the point gets more results with them, so he becomes a little more forceful. He also sleeps on a fairly regular basis, which makes him much more pleasant to be around constantly.

Umbrose(Nightmare) is fairly standard of the "classy" Nightmare variety. He enjoys his finer luxuries and arts, speaks largely without contractions, and uses big words. He likes to exude elegance and charisma, because while fierce can achieve results, it takes much less energy to simply... coax others into doing what you want. He's had years to chill out from utter violence, so he elects to do things in a fashion that doesn't tire him out consistently. He's also a fantastic leader. He treats all his underlings fairly and sees to it that they want for nothing. Ensuring their loyalty is important to him-- otherwise they could turn on him, and that would be bad. (I have some issues with the more abusive dynamics you see around with the BSG and him. You can only tettorize and threaten your minions into submission for so long before they plan mutiny). He's pretty chill, but no less intense in pursuing what he wants-- he's just smarter about it.

Aubade(Dream) is way more mature than a lot of takes on Dream I've seen around. He is tired. He wants to stop fighting with his brother. He doesn't understand where things went wrong and it eats him. At his core, he is existentially exhausted, but continues to do what he does out of duty. Certainly, he loves his friends and they do make him genuinely happy... but he's so tired, and if you look deeper into his actions, it shows. He also swears. He's not the perfect angel that can do no wrong, and he knows it. There are necessary evils that even the guardian of positivity must do. He's also aware that positivity does not equal goodness, and negativity does not equal badness. He's a little jaded, but understands that balance is a requirement in the multiverse, and so he has to keep doing his job. He's not afraid to take a life or beat someone to a pulp, though he'll issue warnings before he does.

Haboku(Ink) is a little more stable by proxy of being around his friends so much. Dream helps to remind him to take his paints regularly, and Blue will bully him into it if he has to. He's clever, too clever by half. He'll play to someones ignorant perception of him and has no issue letting them continue to think that he's an idiot with the memory of a goldfish and the attention span of a squirrel. He also enjoys stirring shit. He'll cause trouble just to cause it sometimes, but usually is good about not doing anything that will hurt he or his friends. He's fairly dutiful as well, and will protect the multiverse by any means necessary. Any. means. He is otherwise a pretty happy goofball who likes to make sure everyone around him is doing okay. He's honestly a sweet person if you're in good with him. He doesn't like to see unnecessary suffering.

Zaffre(Blue) has a knowledge of the multiverse and has been travelling it for a while. He's of the 'Jaded Blue' variety who tends to help Dream be Ink's leash. Still, he's a very happy guy who loves adventure and loves his friends. He's very passionate. He's no-nonsense. If you mess with what he cares about, gods grant you mercy because he won't. He hasn't killed, but he's certainly beaten a few people within an inch of their life in self defense or in defense of others. He's scary competent, and has a sense of duty to the multiverse much like Dream does. He is, at his core, still a Sans, though, so he is also incredibly intelligent and observant. He also still likes puns and practical jokes, which is not a trait I see applied to Blue very often! He does the whoopee cushion in the hand trick.

#k answers #k headcanons #feat. r&r crew #feat. star sanses #interestingly enough I don't have call names for error or xchara #wall of text and character meta ahead

38 notes · View notes

ms0milk · 2 years

Text

falling asleep with a claustrophobic s/o

| ft. tengen, rengoku, sanemi, and giyuu

a/n: i'm SUPER cleithrophobic (which is like clastrophobia but more a fear of being trapped and unable to get out, rather than being afraid of small spaces in general) and cuddling is really hard for me. sometimes i, me, the author has to indulge in some VERY specific comfort hcs 🙈

tengen

bedtime got you down?

cuddling feel like being buried alive?

well you’re in luck!

b/c your husband is as broad as a california king

‘but i’m big big :(‘ you protest

to which i say

sorry

he’s even bigger

he will always be bigger than you and he will always want your weight sprawled on top of him

tengen thuds onto his back in a sea of satin sheets

“come”

he pats his chest invitingly and peers over his big old bust at you

“ten, i’m not sleeping on top of you.”

he pouts and drums his chest some more

“you don’t love me anymore”

“your boobs are too big!”

pouty lips curling at the corners, he sits up a bit to reach for your hand

you always fight him when you think you’re being a burden

you don’t wanna fall asleep tangled in his arms?

nonissue

he would sleep on hot coals if it made you more comfortable

smile on his face

“you love these double Ds”

“they’ll give me a crick so bad i die”

you’re not fighting him anymore though, as he takes your hand and pulls you forward

“dying in my arms y/n, very romantic”

it only takes one tug to pull you off balance and your head lands squarely above his heart

you can hear it beating clearly here

and if anything, a little too fast

“you got a crush or ‘sum?” you murmur into his collarbone with one defeated, and cozily squished cheek

it’s perfect like this

you wiggle all your limbs and bask in the freedom

he tosses a blanket over your little dogpile

and rests a hand on the back of your head to keep you from slipping

“y/n, a crush?” he grumbles into your hair, “when we first met, i once– from the thought of you alone– without touching myself– achiev–”

“goodnight tengen”

rengoku

kyojuro is ridiculous i swear

who thought ‘yes i’ll simply write the perfect man and then let him be perfect in front of a yearning audience’??

a sweaty heat between you

legs over hips

your waist in his arms

a thumb swiping at your cheekbone rhythmically

it’s too hot

–can’t bend your arms, can’t free your hips, it's too–

“it’s–it’s too much”

you roll a few times out of his arms to the safety of your empty futon beside his

“i’m sorry kyo”

he’s warm and wide and heavy and so fucking cuddly

“my love, are you alright?”

when you peek at him behind you, in his own bedding, his golden eyes look so concerned it kills you

he’s propped himself up on an elbow

ready to jump into action

has he offended you?

are you unwell?

do you need a doctor?

“i’m sorry” you murmur and turn away from him “i’m tired, i don’t want to touch tonight”

“oh love, i’m sorry, i wasn’t trying to–”

“no, no” you roll back over in a hurry to correct him, “i just have to be over here right now”

he doesn’t understand

“are…um, have i, maybe..”

how could you possibly tell the man who hung the stars for you that holding him at night makes it difficult to breathe?

“my chest,” you pull one of his hands out of his blanket and press it against your heart, across the divide of your futons laid side by side, “it feels tight when i’m in closed spaces”

he melts in your touch and lowers himself back into bed to listen

“i don’t...like feeling like i can’t move”

it takes him all of eight seconds to cure your anxiety

“i hold you at night to make you feel safe. It has not been. My darling, what can i do to comfort you?”

i life without this man is no life at all

you fall asleep easily on his outstretched arm that night, his other hand rubbing patterns down your back

“you should always tell me these things y/n, i will help you.”

from then on, on days where his arms are too heavy for you, or his bedding is too hot, kyojuro tucks you in and then falls asleep facing your futon so that the first and last thing he sees everyday is you at peace

sanemi

“what do you mean you don’t want me to hold you? are you fucking defective?”

ah yes

doesn’t he just make your knees weak

“real panty soaker you are nems”

sanemi is behind you and seconds away from reaching an arm across your waist, having finally gathered enough courage to spoon you

this is what people want right?!

to be the little spoon??

he would want that if he were you

you roll away from him two times to make sure you’re facing him and far enough away to see his face clearly

it’s whole fucking ordeal

“i don’t like getting spooned”

“huh?” he grimaces

and makes a dramatic show of stretching his arms out wide in exasperation

“it’s just too restrictive! i don’t like it”

“you don’t seem to care about restriction when i’m fucking folding you in–”

“do not finish that sentence”

“–half!”

first night together going just swimmingly 🤟🏽

sanemi finally has a chance to be gentle with you and you don’t even want it

“how do you normally sleep?” your airy voice snaps him momentarily out of a rage

“however i fucking want”

“then get comfortable”

“what?”

what are you talking about?

“go on then” you repeat, holding back giggles from the other side of the mattress “get comfortable, I have an idea”

he looks to you and then back up at the ceiling and huffs

“c’mon nems jus–”

his arms suddenly shoot straight out next to him and he kicks up his knees under the blanket

⭐️

he’s still staring at the ceiling but now his face is bright red

“o-oh,” you bite back laughter, “is this..is this how you do it normally?”

“shut up”

he’s not embarrassed for long though, as you snake your way beside him

“let me know if you don’t like it”

he’s not sure what he’s expecting– anything? everything?– and he’s really not sure how to breathe when you lay a careful head on his shoulder

you press your chests together and tuck one of your thighs between his legs

adjust your cheek into the hollow of his collarbone

“is this okay sanemi? you lay on your back, i lay on my stomach”

is this okay sanemi

he might love you

“you sleep like a starfish so i’ll just latch on where i can”

“whatever”

he’s thankful you can’t see him fighting to not bury his face in your sweet hair

“oh i get it” your voice and chest rumble with laughter against his body “you just want me to spoon you”

and for the first time all night he’s too distracted to be a bloodthirsty bastard

“you can do that?”

“roll over”

giyuu

three demon hordes, two sleepless nights, and one lost finger

and this is going to be what kills you?

giyuu gulps

you don’t even make a sound

you’re both hovering at the foot of a single futon in the center of the inn room

“i asked for two”

is the only thing he can muster

you shake yourself out of your daze and rest a hand on your sword hilt

“we can do this”

giyuu nods vaguely but doesn’t look at you

you’ve been together for weeks

a hundred years longer than the hashira thought anyone could stand him

but haven’t needed to fall asleep together yet

‘burn that bridge when we cross it,’ you always thought

besides, you and giyuu have never needed a bed

giyuu is the first to lay down after bathing

he stands up politely when you enter the room from your own bath but you can tell he’s exhausted

he’s back down even faster than he stood and visibly fighting the urge to sleep for forty days and nights

you sink to your knees beside the bed

“may i?”

and before you even get the last word out, he’s tossing the blanket back for you

dark eyes

parted lips

hair covering his face in long tumbles

“please”

gods you have such a big crush on this little awkward man

okay

alright

your first full night together might not be so scary after all

he looks like he’ll fall asleep immediately

you might not even have to tell him–

“y/n,” he tugs on you before pulling the blanket up so far it floats down over your heads,

“closer.”

he hates this

he can’t feel your warmth

“tomioka wait– i–”

he moves closer before you can finish your thought

and cups your hands in his

it’s difficult to make out his expression in the dim candlelight filtering through your comforter

but you wish you could have seen exactly how he looked before he brought both of your hands to his lips for a gentle kiss

in one hand he laces your fingers together and with the other he pulls the bedding back down to a reasonable shoulder-level

“don’t worry y/n, i know you don’t like tight spaces”

you’re laying on your sides facing each other, fingers tangled together

“is it okay if i hold you.. like this?”

you nod, blissfully

sleepily

you really didn’t have to tell him

“i’m sorry about your finger”

…

“what?”

“your finger”

he murmurs into your knuckles still held against his face

eyes closed so gently they flutter

“the one a demon bit off”

right

you exhale softly in laughter, the air blowing over his cheek

“don’t worry, it was my least favorite”

“mine too”

op-

there he is

#i love getting to write snarky tengen #did giyuu ask for one futon on purpose?#nemi my gremlin husbad #husBAD #and kyo the object of my every affection #sfw #kny hcs #kny fluff #tengen x reader #rengoku x reader #sanemi x reader #giyuu x reader

828 notes · View notes

georgiapeach30513 · 2 years

Text

A Losing Hand, Part 6

Summary: you and Andy finally talk about that night

Pairings: Andy Barber X Reader

Rating: explicit

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content, smut, PIV sex, unprotected sex, implied breeding kink, mentions of toy play, mentions of overstimulation, date rape, cheating, implied non con, branding, death of a minor character, imprisonment, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 3.6K

Series Masterlist

*Divider by @firefly-graphics

Before leaving the safety of the Spades, you had been scared. Pissed off that your parents could just sell you off like property. The first weeks of living with Andy were spent stomping around and screaming at him.

Sometimes he was calm and patient. Other times he was grabbing your neck and pushing you up against the wall. “I’m getting tired of your fucking attitude, Daze,” his nose tickles at your neck, and when he feels your body go weak, he turns to look at you. His stature thick and looming over yours, and he just grins looking at you. “What was that?”

“Let me go!”

“You, my sweet Daisy, got a bit of an authority kink. Is that what this is? You’re playing the little brat, so your king can yell at you,” with a denying shake of your head, his hand quickly goes up your skirt, and pushes aside your panties. “Lie to me again.”

You can’t even look at him. Refusing to give him what he needs, “Fucking lie to me again, you little bitch,” you whimper, and your hips jolt forward. Baring down on this thick ringed fingers, and you’re not sure why, but you want more. Andy only laughs, pulling his fingers out of your core. “I know you’re a virgin, but do you understand arousal?” he spreads his fingers, and a long string of your slick connects them.

“You see this? You like making me angry. Daisy, I’m not a patient man. I’m being very patient and generous with you. Playing your little games with you, hold you at night when you cry, and still you don’t trust me.”

“Why me?” finally you meet those dark blue eyes in front of you, and his face softens a bit. “There’s other girls in your territory, why me?”

“Daisy…”

“Stop call me that! It’s not my name!”

“Would you rather me call you by your name? Sweet Daisy girl,” you don’t know how he does it, but he always makes things a bit difficult to stand. He notices every change in your demeanor. “You don’t. You like that sweet name. Do you remember me coming into that flower shop, and you were making an arrangements of daisies? You were beautiful. And I wanted you. Needed to know everything about you. Your dad was really quick to sell you. Do you know why? He’s got an addiction to cards,” you give him a nod because it isn’t something you didn’t know. “You taught yourself to count cards to get him out of debt didn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. He can’t…can’t help it. Andy let me go.”

He softens his grip, but still he holds on. “He was in deep. It was him who offered you up. Saw how I came as often as possible. Could tell I only liked dealing with you. Could see that coy little smile you gave me every time I came in. Deny it,” he waits for you, but all you can do is shake your head no. “When did you notice my marks?”

“I knew you were Spade,” your voice whispers out. “You wanted me to see you were the King.”

“Did my power entice you or scare you?”

“Both,” Andy clicks his tongue, his face moves closer to you, and with slow methodical breaths he blows on your neck, giving you the softest of open mouth kisses. Unable to do anything but let your body react, you whimper. Your hips jolt forward, and he catches them.

Placing a leg in between your own, he coaxes you to grind over his thigh. “I can make you feel so good, Daisy. People will fear you because you’re mine.”

He chuckles at your soft little moans. Trying to pretend that he doesn’t have this unexplainable hold over you. Making yourself believe that you don’t want him. And had this been under different circumstances, you might want him. Andy believing that he can own you just pisses you off. But the way his mouth moves on you. His hands so strong and large, but gentle with you. Even the sound of his voice when he speaks to you. The perfect combination to bring you to your knees, and you hate it.

“I’m giving you time to adjust to being my queen. Have I touched you in our bed? Forced you into submission and made you take my cock?”

“No,” your voice so weak and needy.

“You want me to, don’t you?” you don’t have to answer with your eyes blown wide with lust, he knows. “I’ll save my cock for this pretty pussy for our wedding night. But,” his lips kiss all over your neckline, and your breath comes out only as pants. You reach towards his arms, and grip tightly. Mewling out a thanks towards him, you start to see stars. Your tummy heats up, and you nearly collapse on him.

“Andy,” there’s nothing left to do but bury your face down on his chest. Embarrassed by how easy he’s able to get to you, “Jefferson and the Queen are here to see you,” while Bucky can’t hide the amuse in his voice, you’re disgusted by it.

Andy pulls you back to look into your eyes, pressing a gentle kiss on your forehead. “We’ll try something different tonight in our bed. Keep trying to tell me, you don’t want me Daze. We’ll be good. You’ll be protected, where no one can hurt you again. And we’ll have us a pack of kids running around this big compound. Stay with Bucky.”

“Boss,” Andy’s head jerks around looking at him. “I can’t today, I need to be…elsewhere.”

“Right,” Andy pulls back fully, adjusting your clothes, and straightening you back up. “Take her to Steve, and you take as long as you need. Let her know, I’ll be by before supper,” with a wink Andy is gone. Leaving you to look anywhere but in Bucky’s eyes.

“He’s not a bad guy. He does care about you. There could be worse suits for you to end up in. The Diamonds for instance,” with a flick of his head, you choose to follow him. Bucky could outrun you without even trying, so you know better now.

“Who are you going to see?”

He turns back with an almost sinister smile, “Don’t worry. All us suits have our secrets. Some are better left that way. Protection for both parties.”

You had begun to trust Andy. Looked forward to him walking through your bedroom door. Even started smiling when he would walk in. Enjoyed undressing him because it meant he would let you sit and talk with him while he showered.

He had warned you, he couldn’t handle you in there with him, because he wouldn’t be able to wait. Even if he was tired, and just wanted to hold you, it was nice. The mornings were spent giggly, and even running through the compound chasing each other. Putting down all your walls with Andy.

Until the night he didn’t come into your bedroom. Woke up without him there, and waited, but getting tired of waiting. Walking around the compound in search of him, only to see him thrusting into another woman. You only get a glimpse at her face, and a smile before you run away. Ignoring Andy’s call for you. He had lied. He made promises that were clearly just meant to settle you for the time. You should have known not to trust a king because he would always have his whores.

Andy’s body looms over yours as he crashes his hips into your own, and you get a flash back to that night. Emotions course through your body, and you push at his chest. “Andy stop,” your voice whispers out. But he doesn’t quit.

“Andy stop it! Get off,” angrily he pulls out of you, but he remains over your body. “Let me go!”

“What the fuck has gotten into Daze,” his hand pets over your belly, so convinced you’re already pregnant, but you swat him away. Grabbing ahold of your wrist, you see the Andy that everyone fears. “What the fuck? You wanna tell me what’s going on?”

“You lied.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You did. You said you would wait for me,” unable to look at him anymore, but he still won’t move, you turn your head away. “Was I not good enough? I-I-I tried, but…I wasn’t ready. I was getting closer. I wasn’t worth it to you.”

“Oh, Daisy,” his hand smooths over your face, and he presses soft and gentle kisses all over your face. “You didn’t see what you think you saw.”

“Andy, she…looked like me, and…and, and you were…she was getting what was supposed to be mine. You were supposed to be mine, and I was yours. But you…you lied. And because I’m the woman, I have to forgive you.”

Andy sighs, shaking his head. Finally rolling off you to sit up, “That’s not exactly how things happened,” his hands run over his face, and he’s unsure if he really wants to get into this with you.

“Andy,” you sit up on yourself, pulling the sheets around your body, “Andy, look at me,” when those dark blue eyes turn to look at you, it’s enough of this. Enough of the secrecy and the lies. “If I am to do my duty as a queen and your wife, you have got to be honest with me. I will not be a wife that lays waiting in your bed, ready to spread her legs while you try to knock me up.”

“Is that all you think this is? We were good. And then you run off and left me. I was trying to protect you!” that anger rises in his voice, but it no longer scared you like it did before.

“You wanted to get your fucking dick wet. I want the truth. Stop with this suit bull shit! I can’t handle all the lies. You know what I found today, when you left?” he raises an eyebrow up at you. “A dog that I’ve never seen, and a little girl’s room. Decorated to perfection. Andy I’m not even pregnant and your decorating rooms for our unborn children. That night I left when you were fucking her…”

“Now, that’s about enough of that. You will hold your goddamn tongue when you talk to me. I told you that’s not exactly how things happened, so that’s enough,” rolling your eyes you go to get out of bed, only to have him push you down on the mattress. “I could do it you know. I don’t have to show you the niceness I do. I could break you down, to where your job is just to be a nice wet place for me to land.”

“Then do it.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Tell me exactly what happened then.”

Andy stares at your sleeping form on his bed. The both of you growing restless of trying to wait left him to try and make you cum over and over again. Whether it was his mouth buried deep in your cunt, sucking and biting at your bundle of nerves or him making you grind over the Sybian, with Andy controlling everything.

He had praised you when you just kept going. Making a mess all over the toy, and he couldn’t wait for you to make a mess all over him. It wasn’t long until, you would be his completely.

“Andy,” Steve says behind him. “They’re here.”

Andy nods, closing the door. He hates these meetings. “Are you going to watch her?”

“I’ve got another door, that I need to guard. You said you wouldn’t have any other suit in the compound. You know how she wanders throughout the compound,” Andy agrees with Steve, that he has other places he needs to be to stop the wandering. “She’s asleep, and judging by that toy that’s in the floor, she’ll be there for awhile. Stick Walker in the hallway. She’ll be fine.”

While Andy doesn’t like it, he feels it’s his best option. He goes down into the meeting. A few glasses of scotch, has him oddly feeling loopy. He blinks his eyes a couple of times and dismisses the meeting wandering into his study to sit down away from the noise a minute.

Andy’s hand rubs over his brow when the woman walks in. Sauntering into his office and closing the door, but not all the way. Hoping that you will see her with your fiancé. “Andy,” she whispers and his head pops up so quickly. “I’m here to serve my king.”

Andy’s eyes flutter closed slowly as he tries to look at the woman. She was sent for a very specific reason. Close enough to your look, and with the added drug to Andy’s scotch, it’s enough. “No, we’re not married.”

She scoffs at how traditional the two of you are trying to be. So ridiculous. With a man as powerful and attractive as Andy, she would have him every night. “No one has to know,” she tells him, sitting in his lap, and running her fingers over his chest. Sliding down to his pants but he grabs her hand.

“I said no.”

“Feel me,” she pulls his hand to her wet heat and Andy’s eyes roll to the back of his head. “I need it. You’ve left me wanting…”

Picking her up, he sets her on his desk. Kissing up her legs gently, because he’s convinced in his drug addled state, that it is you. Starting to slide her panties off only to realize, she’s bare underneath, that should been his first warning.

Hastily he frees his cock, before sinking in slowly, you don’t cry out at the stretch, or become overwhelmed, but just sigh under him. Red flag number two.

When he thrusts into you slowly, but you beg for him to go harder, he should have completely knew. Andy was too far gone. Too into the moment, and almost making believe that it was you underneath him.

All it took was Walker to leave his post for one moment. A lie that he was being beckoned elsewhere, and it left you vulnerable. Waking up to a cold and empty bed, you look outside the door, only to see that no one is standing guard.

You had remembered there was to be a meeting with the Clubs, and there was no protection for you. Figuring that they had all left, you went to fetch Andy from his study, to inform him it was time for bed.

The compound being too quiet you hear Andy’s grunts, and worse the moaning coming from someone that isn’t you.

Barely pushing the door open, you see the man before you. The man that promised you his loyalty, and he couldn’t make it to his wedding night. Her face turns, and gives you a wicked grin, and Andy coming to with your strained cry. Looking behind him at your distressed figure, he screams your name, only to have you run.

“You better finish the fucking job,” the girl yelps grabbing tightly to Andy.

He looks down at the woman with disgust. Ripping down her shirt to see the exposed Diamond tattoo, but with an odd bit of black in the mix. “You fucking whore.”

“I can always be your whore. You already have your perfect wifey.”

“Nothing but a lying snake. Do you know what I do to liars?”

“Make me gag on your cock?” she asks him, giggling at his predicament.

“If it’s my cock you want, that’s what you get,” pulling himself out of her he flips her body over, and starts pounding into her relentlessly. His hand rubs harshly on her clit, and just when he feels her walls flutter around him, he pulls out and spits on her back. “Now you know what it’s like to be fucked by a real king. Tell Lloyd we’ll be coming for him, since he wants to plant lying sluts in my compound. I won’t even bother asking you why you’re here.”

“He’s not scared of you. He just wants that pretty little thing you keep in your bedroom.”

“Why?!” Andy shouts, tucking himself back in his pants. At the yelling Bucky and Luke walk through the doors. Andy back hands the girl and pulls her up to face him.

“He’s found your weakness,” she laughs up at him, and he looks at the odd tattoo on her chest. “Figured it out yet?”

“Brand her a liar,” Andy grunts out walking away. “I want Walker to go with me, to find her, since he let her escape.”

“She’s gone Andy,” the girl says, fear escaping her mouth, when she looks at Luke. His menacing body walking over to the fireplace, and grabbing a poker to hold in the fire.

“What?” Andy turns around to look at her.

“Don’t do it, and I’ll tell you everything.”

“Andy,” Luke growls, pulling the poker out and walking towards her. “You show mercy, and you lose your power. If she’s gone, we’ll find her.”

“Lloyd will destroy her,” the girl says before the poker is pressed against her neck. Her voice echoes through the compound, and tears coat her face. “I hope it was worth it,” Luke spits down on her body.

Bucky spins around, when he hears that tiny voice. “Take care of that,” Andy points to Bucky, who whispers out his thanks. “Luke, let’s take this trash back to her territory. Maybe Lloyd will give you a warm welcome home.”

“There, there,” Lloyd says, holding you close to his body. “All men are pigs. I’ll protect you from Andy though.”

“Lloyd, he’s…” the girl from earlier in the night walks in. Her neck disgusting bloody and marred as she walks in.

“You bitch!” you scream. Just as quickly, Lloyd lifts his gun and shoots her directly in between her eyes, and her body falls down with a bang. You scream at the suddenness of everything, backing away from Lloyd, and he lifts you up to look at him.

“She hurt you, so I killed her,” holding you tightly you look at her body, trying to decipher the mark on her neck. And then you see it, a spade with three swords running through it.

“What’s wrong with her neck?”

“It’s what we do to traitors. She was in Spade territory. Don’t worry about it,” you almost regret letting him touch you. Much less following him into his car, because you needed a quick getaway. Finding yourself right in the territory you were warned about.

“You hungry?” Lloyd’s right hand man walks in looking at the body. “I just cooked dinner.”

“Real food or your shit?”

“Real food,” he licks his lips looking at you. “You smell it? Fear,” he walks closer to you, his hand rubs along your face. “Andy hasn’t used you,” Lloyd jerks you back, and gives you a smirk.

“Oh she’s scared all right. Tell me, why hasn’t Andy taken what’s his?” Lloyd’s hands grip tighter to you, the more you try to get away. “Ahh, Andy is a big softie, huh? You’re…you are. You’re a virgin,” Lloyd gives you a deplorable laugh and presses you up against his swelling crotch. “Shoulda stayed with Andy. Steve, brings the chains. She’s not going anywhere until she learns to take me.”

“Please, don’t,” you cry, and the two men laugh at you. “Please…”

“Shoulda stayed with Andy. I really don’t care about what you want. I just like hurting the king.”

“You don’t find it odd,” Andy’s fingers pet around your face as you recollect your account of that night. “Where was he at?”

“Right outside the compound property.”

“You didn’t think to question why the King of Diamonds was so close? Why he felt secure in being in my territory, grabbing up my queen?” ashamed you shake your head. You were once too naïve for this life. “That whole night was a set up. They hurt you, to hurt me.”

“You made me stay with them after you found me,” your lip trembles, and he brings you to sit in his lap. “Told me it’s what I deserved.”

“I was wrong. I shouldn’t have done that. I knew where your loyalty was. They didn’t even mark you, did they?” you shake your head no, and his hand roams around your body. “Where are you taking my mark? It’s usually on the side of the Queen’s neck. That way everyone knows who she belongs to.”

“You won’t let me leave here anyways. The only people I see are Bucky and Steve. Sometimes Nick. Why should a mark matter?”

“You’re a flight risk,” Andy’s lips turn into a crooked grin, and he chuckles. “Once your body is showing how much I claimed you, you won’t be leaving.”

“Andy I need you to trust me. Who does that dog belong to?”

He sighs, his eyes turning away from you, and he wonders just how much he can trust you. This is the best kept secret, and one that he’s not willing for the rest of the suits to know. They had already lost the only other person to know the secret. Not even all his men were aware of the secret that was kept hidden in these walls.

“Aspen. She’s a Pomsky. Wanna meet her?”

“I wanna know who she belongs to. I feel like I’m going crazy in this compound. I hear giggles and,” your eyes turn to the door, and you realize you’re not crazy, but…your fears, and life just got more complicated.

“Aspen, come here girl. You, too.”

Masterlist

#a losing hand #a losing hand au #andy barber #andy barber smut #andy barber x reader #mafia au #lloyd hansen #lloyd hansen x reader

205 notes · View notes

literaticat · 5 months

Note

To your knowledge, what is the furthest a schmagent has gotten? Shopping a book to editors? Getting editors to pitch a book at a meeting? Selling a book? Thanks Jenn!

There are different levels of "schmagent" -- some are literal con-artists. They aren't TRYING to "shop a book to editors" -- they are scamming authors out of money. (Saying the book needs "editorial services" and you can go to so-and-so -- who happens to be their wife! -- who isn't actually an editor but costs a lot! -- getting the book "published" by some vanity press run by that same person for which you have to pay, etc). So there might technically be a book of some kind at the end of the process, if you get that far, but the goal is getting you to give money to them.

Then there are the ones who mean well -- they aren't trying to be con artists! -- they just don't know what they are doing and have no mentorship. They "love books!" and so they set up their own agency. They are technically real agencies, in the sense that they CAN sell books to publishers, and sometimes they do. But they are likely to be selling mainly to sorta 'dubious' publishers and disadvantageous deals (small, maybe e-only or print-on-demand, you don't really need an agent for them, low or no advance, etc.) -- I'm sure some of those schmagents have some "regular" book sales as well, if they are lucky.

The problem here is, well, several problems: 1) As nice as they might be, you don't want to be the guinea pig while they spend years trying to figure out how to do this job properly because they weren't trained and don't have mentorship -- 2) Meanwhile you are not moving forward, or are getting disadvantageous deals / trapped in bad contracts that can really effect your career -- 3) It's extraordinarily difficult to make a good living as a brand new agent under the BEST of circumstances -- since these schmagents aren't really earning money, that means that eventually they will either quit trying altogether OR figure out a new way to make money.... (see paragraph one).

4 notes · View notes

cassicaendra · 7 months

Text

💫 FROM NARUTO TO BORUTO FANFICTION💫 #5

Official name: Unexpected

Only here on En here. From author personally.

P.s. sometimes dumb! Oops. (Daichi/dai/day - one person)

- Haha, he's like that because he likes me. But do not think that his feelings were accepted. Mikoto-san.. I was going to leave the Anbu.

Mikoto herself was staring at him. As if she was saying, "Believe..believe..believe.."

- Could you at least roughly describe it externally?

- Of course, she looks like her mother too..She probably dyed her hair, so you can't find it by the red hair from Uzumaki. Knowing her, I think black.

Sasuke looked at him with complete disbelief. The situation began to heat up from the cold..

Daichi didn't like it.

- So, we are honest with you. Otherwise, Menma and I would have stayed at home, because...

- I was also asked to tell about my brother.

And so, the doorbell rings, obliging Day to end the conversation anyway.

- Sakura-chan! Unfortunately, we have already started, but I think Menma can repeat it for you. Come on in, can I pour some tea?

- Yes, it would be nice..

Apparently, Sakura was embarrassed enough by how much attention was paid to her person.

But the young man, on the contrary, finally felt at home.. Not for long, but it was worth it.

- In short, let's talk about my brother first, I'll repeat it later. Besides my sister, I have a brother, but I think he won't resist. Anyway, the guy is friendly, I think if we meet, he will want to get to know you all. But don't forget that he is a Jonin, and his specialty is everything related to fire. Effectively by the way, half of the participants in the exam dropped out.

Orochimaru chuckled contentedly. Indeed, what to expect from such participants.

- And the possession of my techniques?

- I don't think so. Both of them.. Pretty principled and own mostly clan techniques. But.. Hmm, if necessary for sure. And.. I don't know, honestly, that's it.. But we have a lot of friends. I think we would be happy to tell you about them too!

- Does that make sense?..

Sasuke's eyebrows moved to the bridge of his nose again, showing obvious displeasure.

- There is.

- Great! In short, do they still remember the Ootsutsuki clan? Hinata is really married to Toneri. What an irony, a wonderful couple, I would like to see my parents one day.. And their son became a ninja too! For some reason, he decided to stay on earth..

- One such person would not hurt us.. Can you tell me anything about the seals yourself? Or maybe he saw something useful? Maybe a sister, a brother?

-No! - Menma snapped, heading towards the children. - I have a great offer for you - who can beat me one-on-one, I give you tickets to the computer club! A couple of pieces, of course.. Let's go to the backyard!

The children looked at their parents searchingly..

- Go, it's time to practice. Don't break your arms and legs! Daichi said. - "He's already tired, and the topic.. I don't think it's easy for him.."

- Does it mean I can break heads?

- Menma, no!

Day looked at him as if he took it absolutely seriously.

- Menma yes! Calm down already, nanny. They will return healthy. I can't guarantee the rest.

Sasuke swore at that moment that he had let the child go to the battlefield in vain, but Mikoto stopped him.

- I don't think you were raised at all. - Uchiha said, to which Boruto mentally agreed..

- Judging by your tactlessness, too. To some extent, yes, the locals called him a savage. Well, who's to blame that we were all raised by former soldiers. Ah well, who are the first?

- Your idea - so go ahead! Uzumaki plucked up the courage to come forward.

- Oh, well, if you're not afraid, usaratonkachi.. Let's go!

Before anyone could object to him, Menma had already dragged Boruto along with him, smiling broadly.

"Sarada knows the Uchiha techniques, Uzumaki techniques will not be difficult to copy.. And this will be more interesting. He wouldn't mind winning and purely on principle.."

They have already stood opposite each other.

"If I put this arrogant one down, it will be less to show my nose. Only to call names and can.."

The son of Hokage was also ready to tear and throw.

- ..In general, this is what Menma gave us. Maybe about something separately? In my line, datteban'o. Of course, I don't think that my life is somehow remarkable.

- You should tell about those whom you met in battle. I think this will somehow bring us closer to where and how to look for the seal in addition to forests, Day. - We really agreed with Sakura.

Haruno (now already Uchiha) it was pleasing.

But the young man's face on the contrary breathed sadness from the fact that there was nothing left to change.

- It was mostly peacetime, Datteban'ya. However.. At first, they did not pay attention, there were minor thefts.. And then there was Incense. He gathered all the discontented around him, his father thought of a conspiracy, but he could not catch it. Everyone perfectly understood that there was a monastery in the same forest, where all the offended and offended could come.

- Has the civil war started? - Sasuke was the first to realize.

- Yes. I was among the volunteers..

- So they just let you go to war?! What did they want with that, you're not even twenty! Sakura jumped up excitedly. They immediately tried to pull her back, but Daichi wouldn't let her.

- I think you slightly do not understand all the circumstances.. I am twenty-one, I am the only son of the great Naruto Uzumaki and the excellent kunoichi-healer Sakura Haruno.. And he was no different from anything else until then.

The girl sat down.

Yes, he understands.

Understands what the pressure is when you need to earn your name.

- Who knew that it was the military leader Ootsutsuki.. We started not just a civil war, but the Fifth Shinobi World War. I'm sorry... Daichi clenched his fist, turning away. - I can't discuss it. Just be aware that the Uchiha-Uzumaki were there too. I think we were transported here in the same way as they were then. And I have one terrible assumption..

- Spit it out. We should know any for completeness. - Orochimaru nodded at this. The others echoed him..

- That according to Mikoto, they, as elders, also caught this war. But it's useless to ask, I really think the war is the last seal. I don't know how true the assumption is, along with the forest.. I'm sorry, perhaps that's all, datteban'o.

Daichi shook his head, as if trying to banish unnecessary memories. Habitually looked in the direction of the children ..

..At the same time in the backyard.

"Snake"-"sheep"-"monkey"-"pig"-"horse"-"tiger"

Fireball technique.

It is good, however, that they live near the forest. The makeshift playground was already quite battered..

It seemed that Uchiha-Uzumaki attacked by pushing off from the wall of the house with a direct blow, which seemed very much in his style.

A light whistle, a kunai in a couple of millimeters of distance flies right over Menma's head..

- Rassengan!

Menma wins by attacking Boruto's own technique with his shadow clone.

And climbs down from the tree with a satisfied face.

- You should be more careful. Well, of course, you won't get tickets, apparently today is my day, usaratonkachi!

- Do not fall from the joy of victory, topic. - Boruto snorts in the abrasions. His face hurts terribly.. But, of course, he is not going to talk about it.

And Menma fell face first from the tree.

#naruto fanfiction #naruto #boruto fanfiction #saske uchiha #sarada #sasunaru #sasusaku #sakura #team 7 naruto #narusasu #yaoi fanfiction #yaoi

2 notes · View notes

anne-bsd-bibliophile · 1 year

Note

Hii, i’m a follower of your twitter account and i just saw u moved here, so hello!! I wanted to ask if you have any tips for slow readers. I really enjoy reading but sometimes i’m not in the mood / my concentration doesn’t help or i simply read very slow, and i have a bunch of books on my tbr lists :( any advice? 🤍

Welcome! Thank you for following me on Tumblr as well!

I actually read slowly myself. If I read fast I don't transfer much to long term memory, so if I want to remember what I read after I've finished the book I have to take my time. Reading fast does not mean that you are a good reader, so don't worry if you don't read quickly.

My advice would be don't force yourself to read. If you're not in the mood then that's okay. And it is okay to take a break from a book if you are in the mood to read something else. Sometimes I stop reading a book and never get back to it. It is okay to lose interest or just not be into a book enough to finish it.

There are a few ways you can try to help keep your focus on what you are reading. You can visualize what is happening in your book. Making a movie in your head of what is going on or painting a picture of what the book is describing can make it easier to focus. I also will pause periodically in my reading and have a conversation with myself about my book. What stick out to me? Do I agree with what the characters or author are saying/doing? If I'm feeling any particular emotions I consider why I'm feeling that way or what it is that I've related to in my book. You can also try to set a small reading goal if that works for you. Don't make your goal anything difficult or stressful. Sometimes my goal is just to read a few pages before bed, or to bring my book with me to read during a short break at work. Usually if I enjoy a book it just takes me planning out a time to start reading it and before I know it I'm making time to finish the book because I'm hooked.

And this tip is more technical, but because I teach elementary school and teaching reading is a big part of that I want to add it here at the end. If you are not reading words accurately and quickly enough to be able to pull meaning from your book then you will always feel like reading is a chore. If you struggle to automatically recognize most of the words in the book you are reading then it will take some work. You will have to slow down, sound out the words that are not familiar, look up the meanings of the words, and only after you have really become familiar with how it is spelled and really know what it means will you be able to remember and recognize that word. Basically, your brain takes the word and files it away and you have to create as many pathways in your brain as you can to pull out that word quickly. If you know how to spell the word forwards and backwards, know the meaning of the word, and can use it in multiple contexts then your brain will be able to retrieve it from long term memory easier and you will recognize it automatically the next time you read it. The more words you recognize the easier reading is. This might seem like something you do in elementary school, but really it is a process that never stops for any of us. I've noticed that I follow this process every time I read a new book (I learned the word schadenfreude just last week).

I hope something in all of this is helpful to you. Everyone thinks differently, so everyone reads differently. What works for me might not work for you. Good luck! And thank you again for following me here on Tumblr.

7 notes · View notes

lone-rhapsodist · 1 year

Text

On going slow

This is the first of a series of longish posts which will like become more usual from me going forward. It's about the importance of going slow, how I've been trying to work on this for the past few weeks, how I've been benefitting from it, and hopefully, how it can benefit you too! This is all about working on the 'self', which goes hand in hand with a healthy approach to life and, by extension, to writing. I hope you will find it interesting and valuable. Thank you!

Lately, I have been trying to do things slow, not just with my writing, but in my life as well. This is something I picked up from positive psychology, in particular Martin Seligman. I have read a lot around positive psychology, and I am not the biggest fan of it, but I appreciate its aims and its value, and this is definitely something which I have found to be helpful for me. It probably works slightly differently in positive psychology, and it definitely does in mindfulness too -- another thing I am not the biggest fan of, but whose worth I can appreciate. Still, this is my take on it, how it works for me, and if it can work for you too, in your own particular way, then that will be good.

I have been dealing with a lot of anger lately, and going slower has helped a lot with that. Anger is a very difficult thing for me. Like, it's important to be able to blow off steam and let it all out when you're angry, but you have to be careful about how and when you do so, or it can cause harm. If my computer is not working, I will 100% shout at it, and even curse, and that is fine. But if I do that to someone, that will be a problem, and unfortunately it has happened sometimes, and that's bad.

Anger is something that lies deep within me, because it was everywhere around me growing up, and although I've got better over the years, it's still there, right beneath the surface, and it's tough. It is such a big part of me that, for a while, I thought it was tied to my very self. I thought that the only solution to prevent this anger from spilling out would be to completely shut myself off, because to deny my anger would be to deny myself, and to deny myself, I would need to sever any bond I had with others and live like a loner.

Thankfully, I soon realised that this made no sense. That anger, though strong, was just an emotion -- not a part of my 'self', but a way for me to express it, and merely one of many. So, I started thinking about a better way to go on about this problem, and that's when I remembered the whole 'living slow' thing from Seligman. If you live slow -- if you look at life as if it were passing in front of you in slow motion -- you can see things more clearly, read situations better, and make better decisions too.

I would like to clarify that for 'better' and 'clarity' here I am not talking about some objective standard of what is good according some self-appointed authority, like a therapist or a psychologist. I am talking about things being clearer to you, better for you -- from your perspective, that is. You want to go slower because it enables you to get a clearer, better perspective on things, so that you can make better decisions accordingly -- decisions that make sense to you, because you have had the chance to look at things more closely and take more time to think about them.

Mind you, there is still no guarantee that the perspective you will gain from doing this will be the full truth. In conversations with others where I have tried to go slower, I've still ended up making wrong assumptions and misunderstanding some of the things others were saying. However, because I was going so much slower, I was able to see my mistakes, apologise, and find a way to move on. It does take a lot of time to do so. Sometimes, you will have to just sit in silence and ponder things slowly within yourself before you are able to formulate a response that will move things forward. But I swear, it's worth the effort.

In a way, when I apply this to anger, it reminds me a little bit of Stoicism -- another thing I am not a big fan of but can appreciate. I am talking about the fact that you, as a Stoic person, can have control of your own emotions by simply (sort of) separating the thing which is happening to you from your own reaction to it. For example, if someone stomps your foot, yes, it hurts, but if you focus, you can separate the pain you are feeling from your reaction to it; you can feel the pain in your body but decide to react differently in your mind; in short, you will feel the pain, but you will not let it show, because you can control your emotional reaction to the pain if you really try.

Mind you, there are still instances in which even the most steadfast Stoic will yield to a knee-jerk reaction, like if a tiger appeared in front of them in the middle of the road. Surely, you would forgive the Stoic for being suddenly overcome by fear, because there was no way they could expect this, and for this reason, they will give in to it. Yet the Stoics would argue that a great Stoic, even if caught off guard, would be so only momentarily, and that thanks to their rigorous training in controlling their emotions, they should be able to immediately regain their composure, and be able to face the tiger (sort of) without fear. I imagine that, freed from fear, they will still make the very wise decision to run! But they'll be able to make that decision precisely because they did not let themselves just freeze in fear. In short, they feel the fear, realise it's an emotional reaction, dismiss it as unhelpful, and turn to a more useful, logical response. Easier said than done, I know. But that's Stoics for you.

Now, imagine doing this for anger. Especially in difficult conversations you might have with others. What would be the best way to go on about it? I've been trying to deal with this lately by going slower with anger -- not suppressing it, but letting it out slowly, in a careful, thoughtful, constructive way. I did not want to completely stop myself from feeling angry. Rather, I wanted to take a breath, hold it there, and take time to explore it.

It requires you being silent, but it's not complete silence. I'd call it a vow of 'semi-silence': you must speak, but only as much as needed, and you will do so calmly (as much as possible), clearly, and again, slowly. It's a bit like pouring hot tea from a teapot into someone's mug: you must do it slowly and smoothly, with just the right pour, or their mug will overflow, and hot tea will spill on them, and it will burn, and that's not good.

So yeah. You won't stay silent. You will say what you have to say. But you will choose your words carefully, to ensure that you're as clear as possible, so that the other person understands. You should not say everything you think, as in everything that's going through your mind, as not all of that is helpful, nor true, and likely not what you really think. But you must say what you need to say, as in what is necessary, what is absolutely vital, and you must go through all of it, slowly but surely, to achieve clarity.

I appreciate that, to some, this might sound a bit artificial, like you're not letting you be your 'true self' or something. But again, I insist, that is just not correct: you are not your anger -- it's just an emotion, not a part of your 'self'. Of course, it is important that you let yourself feel emotions, as they are an important way for you to express yourself and feel alive. However, you are not your emotions. You are not your anger. You are not your fear. You are you. Just because you have been angry for a long time, it doesn't mean anger is now a part of you, forever. This is something that has been done to you, and you must do your best to undo it. I am trying very hard to get better, to move forward, to feel more like my true self, every day. It's not easy -- I know that for sure! But it's worth it, and so I'll keep trying.

By going slower, by not letting your anger get the better of you -- by sitting down with it, listening to it, without giving in, you are not denying your true self. You are not dissimulating, you are not pretending, you are not hiding a part of yourself from others. Rather, you are acknowledging that this is something you are experiencing, but that's not you. You're just going through it, taking it in -- trying to appreciate it, to understand it -- then moving past it. It's a bit like looking at a work of art. As your eyes peer all over it, you will feel all kinds of emotions -- you'll feel anger, you'll feel sorrow, you'll feel despair. But then, you can't stop there: you must learn from it, you must take from it what it has to tell you, and then, move forward.

So, as you are sitting there, with your anger wrapped tightly around your self, you must remember that your anger is not your self, but even so, it has value. You must listen to your anger, to its story, and take in everything you can. But then, once you're done, you must let go of it and move on. You must seek peace with yourself, with those around you, with the world. You must go forth, and live slow, but live, and feel more like your true self, every day, little by little.

I don't think I have it all figured out. We'll see whether going this slow will be sustainable in the long run, and whether I'll be able to keep it up. I'm currently home for Christmas with my very shouty family, so I think that will be interesting -- like a test of my strength, of my progress, of whether I can actually keep this going and be happy. It's been okay for now, but it's early days, so we'll see. Still, I thought my journey so far was worth sharing, and I hope you will find it helpful too.

I don't know if this will work for you, but I know there must be a way it can. Most things don't work for me at first, but then I think about how I could make them work for me, and then little by little, I figure it out. So, if this doesn't work for you at first, think about how you could make this work for you, keep at it, and slowly but surely, you'll figure it out. And if you need any ideas, feel free to get in touch! I'm always happy to help if I can. Otherwise, thank you so much for taking the time to read through this! Take care, and take it slow!

17 notes · View notes

wandering-soul-1993 · 2 years

Text

I lost a follower today… …not that I had that many to begin with

Greetings! Welcome to another episode of “Random Thoughts from the Author’s Brain.”

Once again, I appreciate those of you who take the time to read my post; thank you for your time. As always, I hope I can help at least one person feel not so alone. This post is NOT and NEVER WILL BE a jab at the Vampire Chronicles fandom, my mutuals, or anyone else who stumbles across my blog. The VC fandom is one of the most welcoming and fun groups of people I’ve ever been a part of (trolls excluded). Everything discussed below is all internal.

TL/DR: You are perfect just the way you are and your worth is not based on the number of followers/likes/comments/reblogs/shares you have on social media. Stay your perfectly imperfect self!

The reason I started this post the way I did is that noticing I was down a follower brought back a whirlwind of negative emotions ranging from inadequacy to incompetence; feelings I’ve been dealing with since I was in middle school. It wasn’t even someone in the Vampire Chronicles fandom who quit following me! I’ve been on Tumblr for a grand total of three months and I’ve already received an achievement for liking 1500 posts. I don’t know if that’s an accomplishment or a cry for help. What ends up happening is I compare myself to everyone else and start to feel like I’m not contributing enough to belong to the fandom. Crazy, right? Welcome to the world of General Anxiety Disorder. Social media isn’t the only aspect of my life that is affected by GAD. In a nutshell, I try so hard to be someone I’m not that it ends up backfiring. I stop being my genuine self and people can tell, IRL and on the internet. Here’s an example: I don’t read the VC books—or any book for that matter—for analytical purposes; I read them as an escape from reality, so I don’t have a lot of meta to share at this point simply because that’s not the mindset I have while reading. Instead of enjoying the meta that other creators have shared and sharing my headcanons and other thoughts as they pop up, my anxiety ladened brain tells me that I’m not a true fandom member because I don’t do something like someone else. Believe me, some days it can be overwhelming and sometimes crippling. It completely takes all the fun out of fandoms, books, the very few public events I attend, and my friends can pick up on it as well. (Sidenote: learning to cope with GAD is a lifelong adventure with good days and bad days. A bad day does not equal a bad life. If you find it difficult to move forward, at the very least, please don’t go backward.)

In real life, I am as introverted as they come. When I was in college, my psych professor did an introvert/extrovert test and told us that statistically there would be one person on either end of the spectrum. Guess who was the introverted outlier. The point I’m trying to make is that my real social circle is a small group of close-knit friends and family, so why do I get myself worked up when my internet life is different? Part of it goes back to those feelings of inadequacy I mentioned earlier. I’m not saying my generation started the fanfiction craze, but I personally have been writing cringeworthy stories and unholy ships since the sixth grade waaaay back in 2005-ish. (fun fact: Pirates of the Caribbean was my very first fandom). My writing, thankfully, has improved greatly since then and I hope to one day become a published author; in the meantime, every time I post something on Tumblr or the two stories I have now on AO3, my stomach churns. What if people don’t like it? What if they think it’s stupid? What if I’m laughed out of the fandom or off the internet? None of that ever happens. I am humbly and graciously thankful for the positive reception and feedback my writing has received.

The lesson here is a simple one: it’s okay. It’s going to be okay. You can’t please everyone; some people won’t like you or what you create. That does not make you worthless or a failure. The number of followers does not equal your worth; neither do the number of likes, shares, or reblogs you get. Don’t let anxiety steal your joy.

This is a lot, I know. It’s hard for me to come on here and spill my guts, but the thing is, I wish I had someone to tell me this when I was a teenager and in my early twenties. I wish had someone who reminded me that I was good enough, more than good enough, regardless of my social media presence. I’m lucky to have a fairly supportive family now (they haven’t always been). Don’t get me wrong, I butt heads with my parents often; they don’t understand why I have tattoos and like all things dark and spooky, but now that they realized this isn’t a phase, they didn’t try to change me anymore or force me to be someone I’m not. Not everyone is so fortunate.

So please, let me be the person who tells you that you are perfect as you are. Whatever it is that you like, whatever your niche is, own it. Don’t let anyone try to change you. If you have those people around you, friend, life is too short for that negativity. Having anxiety, depression or other mental health problems does not make you less than. You are not alone if you’re struggling with it. If anyone ever needs a place to talk or just vent about living with anxiety or depression, my inbox is always open. You are worth more than those numbers. I promise you that the world is better with you in it.

#random thoughts #vc #my thoughts #anxiety #depression #general anxiety disorder #you are not alone #love yourself #you matter

6 notes · View notes

dollycas · 5 months

Text

Special Guest - Leigh Stratton - Author of Realm of Ice and Shadow - #AuthorInterview / #Giveaway - Great Escapes Book Tour - @leighstratton1 @leighstrattonauthor

Realm of Ice and Shadow by Leigh Stratton

I am delighted to welcome Leigh Stratton to Escape With Dollycas today!

Hi Leigh, Please tell us a little bit about yourself. I grew up in a small town on the south shore of Eastern Long Island, but I recently traded in cold, damp, gray winters for the warmth and sunshine of Central Florida. I live with my husband, daughter and son-in-law, two sons, and four dogs. In addition to the two fantasy series’ I’m currently writing, I also write inspirational romantic suspense and cozy mysteries, work as a freelance editor, and homeschool my thirteen-year-old son. In my spare time, which is rare, I enjoy spending time with my family, walking (while taking pictures of scenery and wildlife), and reading. What is the first book you remember reading? I remember reading a picture book called So Big when I was around three. I must have read it often, because I can still remember some of the words. What are you reading now? I am currently reading Sarah J. Mass’s Throne of Glass series and loving it! What books have most inspired you? I’ve probably been most inspired by the Lord of the Rings books and the Harry Potter series. Losing myself in them inspired me to create worlds of my own. Do you have a special place where you like to write? I most often write in my library, where I can close the door and have quiet, a typical writer’s cave. But I love taking a notebook outside to write by the pool or the garden. It’s so peaceful. Where do the ideas for your books come from? Everywhere! I think of ideas all the time. I can be having a conversation with someone, and all of the sudden an idea will strike. Sometimes while I’m reading or watching TV I’ll get an idea. Since I write them down on whatever is handy at the time, I often have piles of Post-it notes, receipts, even napkins with story ideas jotted on them beside my computer. Is there anything about writing you find most challenging? The most challenging thing for me is getting that first rough draft down on paper. Other than that, the most challenging aspect of writing is finding the time to do so. What do you think makes a good story? I think the most important thing is to keep it interesting, keep the plot moving forward, keep throwing hurdles up for the characters. I tend to enjoy reading and writing stories with more action.

Which, of all your characters, do you think is the most like you? Yikes, that’s a difficult question. I am not at all adventurous, and yet my characters tend to be. Half the things they do, I would never even dream of. I think if I had to choose one, I’d say Ryleigh. Only because she is extremely maternal toward her younger sister, Mia. What makes your books different from others out there in this genre? I think Realm of Ice and Shadow is a bit different because it takes place in both a medieval-style fantasy world, with swords and dragons, but some of the characters come from the modern world. Mia, Ryleigh’s younger sister, is appalled when she realizes she can’t bring her cell phone to Cymmera with her. What’s next on the horizon for you? My current goal is to somehow get through writing the ten or so books I have contracted over the next two years. I have two more YA fantasies due to release next year. I enjoy writing cozies, and I’m hoping to continue with all four of my current series’ as well as adding one more which I’ve begun plotting. I also write an inspirational romantic suspense series, which I’d like to continue. In addition to that, I’d love to write a YA fantasy series about the seven deadly sins. Thank you so much for having me and for sharing the release of Realm of Ice and Shadow! Thank you Leigh so much for visiting today! Keep reading for more info about Realm of Ice and Shadow.

Realm of Ice and Shadow Young Adult Fantasy 1st in Series Level Best Books, Level Elevate (November 7, 2023) Number of Pages 210 Digital ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0CKV9K5PG

Seventeen year old Ryleigh Donnovan is certain her life is cursed. Nothing ever goes smoothly, and her first job interview is no exception. An earthquake rocks the building, sending Ryleigh on a frantic search for her younger sister, a search which lands her in the hospital. Terrified they'll push her for answers she can't afford to give, Ryleigh flees with a mysterious stranger. Jackson Maynard is about to be ordained as a Death Dealer, a warrior for the Kingdom of Cymmera, but first he must pass one more test. When he fails to acquire the human girl the prophet has chosen, he's forced to stand trial for treason. Banished from his realm, he seeks out the girl from the vision, Ryleigh Donnovan, and together they embark on a journey to save his dying kingdom. Great Escape Praise for Realm of Ice and Shadow by Leigh Stratton Realm of Ice and Shadow is a unique fantasy tale about other realms, hidden heritage, and a prophecy to save a kingdom. I really enjoyed the story, characters, setting, and the author's writing style. I was pulled into the book and kept engaged by descriptive scenes, wonderfully written and imperfect characters, and a mystery I just had to figure out. ~Sapphyria's Books 5 stars! Exciting and immersive fantasy with strong characters and creative world-building! Realm of Ice and Shadow is the first book in author Leigh Stratton’s suspense-filled romantic fantasy series, Kingdom of Cymmera, and I was quickly immersed, I recommend REALM OF ICE AND SHADOW to readers of suspenseful young adult fantasy, fantasy, romance, and suspenseful romantic fantasy. ~Boys' Mom Reads!

Read the full article

#LeighStratton #LevelBestBooks #LevelElevate #YoungAdultFantasy #YoungAdultFiction

0 notes