Tumgik
#and shes SOOOOOOOOOOO graceful
dollfat · 27 days
Text
Tumblr media
i know height doesnt matter but i still feel weird having all my companions look down at me, and karlach has to take a knee to kiss me. not my fault dwarves have objectively the sexiest bodies
2 notes · View notes
Text
Second Stop of the Night
Once we got back on the road after a quick dinner via McDonalds drive through we made our way to Gothams Diamond District. It took a little while to find a safe parking spot( for Gotham. At night. In the Diamond District.) and headed out. Now the entire time, since leaving the drive thru, Melody has been insisting that we are being followed( I still have my doubts about it).  It took around fifteen minutes for us to find a building that had a fire escape that look safe enough to climb to the rooftop. Once up there we waited(huddled together because tbh Gotham wind is its own Super Villain) for our next target to show themselves.  And shown themselves they did.  The Queen herself, Catwoman, graced us with her presence from across the rooftop. She obviously was hesitant of us, cant blame her I mean how many civilians actual seek her out. After she figured we weren’t cops or a threat I guess she asked up what we wanted.  I kept it short and sweet, not wanting to bother her too much. I explained the situation and pleaded my case and we went back and forth for a minute and luckily she seemed actually amused about it. She even laughed when I proudly told her about our score from last night. But the most shocking part was that she actually gave us her left shoe!  It was such a surreal situation watching Catwoman look to the side to think about it and then see her nod to herself before actually moving to remove her shoe!! I wont front, I felt amazingly powerful after I went to collect the Left shoe she tossed across the rooftop to us.  Melody wasn’t to pleased with me that we just “performed a deal with a known Gotham rogue” but I honestly don’t think Catwoman is all that bad, I mean yeah she is a know art thief but she hasn’t done anything like hold the entire city hostage or poison the water supply with a chemical that produces your worst fears. Sooooooooooo Mel is still mad at me and insisting that we are being stalked and she hasn’t spoken to me since we left Diamond District. But we are moving on to our last target for the night, and ill let you all know how that goes down once we get back to our dorms.
Thanks guys.....see you soon 
113 notes · View notes
duker42 · 5 years
Text
🎃👻Kinktober 2019 October 28th👻🎃
Day 28: Omorashi/Stripping-Strip Tease/Vore/Humiliation
Y/N sat in the chair, an interested spectator as he shimmied his hips in front of her. Another man doing it might have made it look silly, but Levi just made it fucking look hot.
He had been in a teasing mood, his hands drifting under the table during dinner. A quick pinch on the ass as he walked by with a bland expression on his face. Until she saw the small smirk he gave her when no one was looking. Oh yes, Levi was in that rare mood where the atmosphere in the bedroom became playful.
He had pushed his groin against her ass while she was reaching for her book that had fallen in between the headboard of the bed and the wall, thrusting his hips against hers to hump her. When she had given him an incredulous look he had just kissed her and moved her over to the chair.
There was no music, but there didn’t need to be. Levi moved with a gracefulness that most dancers would pray for. Years of ODM use had trained him to move his body fluidly, which paid off when he wanted to turn Y/N on by performing a strip tease.
She swore he had put on his cravat just so he could take it off, the motion signifying that shit was getting real. He stood sideways as he seductively slid it out from around his neck while he popped a hip out and flicked the material towards Y/N. He came and crowded her while he draped it around her neck and pulled her forward to teasingly run his tongue across her lips.
She had never known that a man taking off his suit jacket could be so damn erotic as he shrugged out of the black coat. His muscles strained against the white button up he was wearing beneath it, making Y/N drool. He tossed that on the dresser and walked over closer to Y/N.
He straddled her legs, none of his body touching her as he hovered over her lap. His eyes were narrowed but playful as he toyed with the buttons of his shirt, slipping them through the holes slowly, to reveal the pale chiseled chest beneath.
When his shirt was unbuttoned, he stood up and pressed his abs against her face before backing off and rolling his stomach, showing off the hard defined lines of his eight pack. He took off the shirt and it joined the jacket after a quick whirl around his head.
He had already kicked off his shoes when he entered the bedroom so his belt was next. The snap of the leather as it whipped though his belt loops made Y/N think of spankings as she looked at his naughty expression. He knew exactly what she was thinking. He doubled it over and smacked it against his palm, his teeth biting his bottom lip as he shot her a lustful look.
He came over and looped the belt around her neck as well, his mouth pressed against her ear as he whispered “For later.” Y/N felt like she was going to spontaneously combust from the heat in her panties.
Y/N sighed as he flicked the button of his pants open, and revealed the band of his boxers. His hips swayed to the unheard rhythm in his head as he pulled the zipper down sooooooooooo slowly. He turned around and wiggled that round, tight little ass at her as he shimmed the pants over his hips.
When he was free of his trousers, he turned around and hopped on her lap again, this time letting every portion of his body he could manage press against her. He rolled his hips on her lap, grinding his cock against her stomach as he nipped at her ear.
When she went to touch him, he slapped her hand playfully and pulled away with mock disappointment on his face. Fucking tease, he knew that she was almost at the end of her rope.
His underwear was last, and Levi played it for all it was worth. He’d pull them low and then pull them back up. Giving her a glance of the light dusting of hair around his groin. Her breathing was heavy when she finally saw the very end of his shaft when he pulled them a bit lower, hips still moving as he teased her. His cock was hard and resisted coming out of the material, making her wait even longer to see him.
He finally pulled them completely off and Y/N breathed a sigh of relief at his hard, nude body. He twirled his boxers on his finger and shot them at her, the underwear landing in her lap and he still moved in front of her.
His cock bobbed as his hips rotated and undulated, making her think of all the positions they like to fuck in. Making her think of how he moved while inside her. He started moving towards her, devilish smile on his handsome face when they heard a scraping scuffle outside their door.
She tossed the underwear to Levi, who quickly put them back on and walked over to the door with Y/N to open in and peer into the hallway of the cabin. The downstairs was dark and quiet as their peered into the darkness.
Levi pulled her back inside and shut the door and clicked the lock. “Where were we?” He murmured as he attacked the side of her neck with ferocious glee.
Around the corner, Eren sat in the darkness. His heart pounding a mile a minute and struggling to breath normally. He looked down at his hard cock still in his hand. That had been a hell of a strip tease.
133 notes · View notes
imagines4thepeeps · 5 years
Text
GoT girls preference: how you meet
__________________________________________
Catelyn Stark:
Tumblr media
You met Catelyn when she came to the tourney being held by King Renly that you and your friend Brienne were both competing in. When it was all said and done you and Brienne were both admitted into the Kings Guard. When Renly addresses Catelyn you were shocked that the woman you had barely glanced across the field at was the monarch of Winterfell herself. When they were done talking you were assigned to show Lady Catelyn to her tent. “You were quite impressive on field today lady ?” She asked not knowing your name yet. “(Y/n) and I’m not a lady just (y/n)”. “Well then (y/n) I do hope to see you around you are probably the finest warrior I have ever laid eyes on and I hope you know how very lucky Renly is to be under your protection”. She nods to you then enters her tent silently leaving you stunned at her complimentary words.
Sansa Stark:
Tumblr media
You met Sansa at Winterfell when you and Daenerys Targaryen’s army marched there with John Snow to aid in the battle against the dead. You had traveled with Dany as a trusted advisor for many years and were always by her side. When you were introduced to the lady of Winterfell you were immediately taken aback by her beauty. “You must be Sansa, I am (y/n) (house name/last name) and may I say it is a pleasure to meet you”. You took her hand and placed a chaste kiss on it she smiled and her cheeks went red. Everyone around you was shocked at the ease with which she let you get close to her. “The pleasure is all mine lady (y/n)”.
Arya Stark :
Tumblr media
You met Arya in Kings Landing when she came with her father and sister. You were an orphan that the ‘dance’ teacher Syrio had taken under his wing as an apprentice. One day you were practicing with Syrio when a short, skinny girl walked in. You turned and looked at her enamored at the beauty in front of you. Your teacher took this as the perfect opportunity to teach focus and knocked you right on your ass. The girl smiled at you as Syrio gave you his hand and helped you up and told you to observe him teaching the girl. When he was done you finally got to learn her name catching her right before she left. “ I’m (y/n) (l/n) btw” you said grabbing her arm. “Arya Stark”. Then she left.
Margery Tyrell:
Tumblr media
You met Margery at her and Renley’s wedding. Renley was your brother and though you personally felt you had no claim to the throne you supported his and therefore attended his wedding. When your brother saw you he started running at you and pulled into an enormous bear hug. You laughed pulling away to focus on his very beautiful, now wife, Margery. She looked stunning in her gown and was smiling at you and her husband his arm still around you shoulders. “Margery this is by far my favorite sibling (y/n)” you smiled at your brothers quip and met the woman’s eyes. “It is very nice to finally meet you (y/n)” she smiled at you giving you her hand. You placed a kiss to her knuckles and she giggled “ I can’t say I’ve ever met a woman bold enough to do that before”. “Bold perhaps lady Tyrell, but I didn’t take you for the handshaking type”
Brienne of Tarth:
Tumblr media
You met Brienne when she brought your brother Jaime back to Kings Landing. You were shocked that the Maid of Tarth had saved your brother,but even more shock at how actually quite beautiful she was. You had heard people mock her as “the beauty” but you couldn’t understand why. Sure she was tall and perhaps a bit awkward on her feet but she was attractive nonetheless. “Lady Brienne I don’t know how I could ever thank you for bringing my brother back safely”. She looked at you in shock. “Just Brienne and there’s no need to thank me my lady it was my duty. You looked at her,”Of course....... I hope you’ll stay on Brienne I would very much like to get to know you better”. She nodded to you and left for her chambers.
Daenerys Targaryen:
Tumblr media
You met Dany at Dragonstone you went with Jon and Davos as a trusted advisor to the king. When you finally met the queen she was immediately intrigued by you, a female knight. She didn’t speak to you instead focusing on Jon’s talk of the dead army. You could see her skepticism so you spoke up. “Your grace if I may, I have seen the dead with my own eyes and I don’t know if my word means anything to you but between two powerful women, the dead will kill us all if we don’t at least mine the dragon glass”. She looked at you curiously as did everyone else in the room. “Yes I suppose your word doesn’t mean that much to me yet, but for some reason that look in your eyes tells me all I need to know”,you smiled at her on her throne “I will permit you to mine the dragon glass as long as you ser (y/n) stay here as a personal advisor”. Everyone went quiet with shock looking to you for your answer “It would be an honor your grace”. You bowed.
Yara Greyjoy:
Tumblr media
You met Yara when she came to convince your big sister Daenerys to form an alliance. Iron islanders were notoriously ruthless, and smelly,and ugly.The women that walked into your sisters throne room may have been ruthless but she wasn’t particularly ugly or smelly. Actually she was rather beautiful. When she began to speak you could tell she had fire and sass. As she spoke she stared at you as if you were her prey and to be honest it made you ......... feel things. Your sister though did not seem so charmed by the woman so you spoke up. “Dany perhaps we should give her a chance I mean do we really want someone like Euron Greyjoy as an ally, if what she says is true he is a vile man”. Dany looked up at you. “You’re right dear sister, we will ally with you Yara Greyjoy”. She then got up from the throne to walk to Yara a few unsullied following behind her. “You should thank my sister for this alliance without her you’d be on the streets left to your uncle.” Yara nodded to you and gave you a shit eating grin,”oh and I almost forgot if you ever eye fuck my sister like that in front of me again I will personally have Drogon attend to you, understand?” “Of course your grace”
__________________________________________
Sooooooooooo request if you want the boys oooor I you want anyone to be added I can make a part 2. Also request what the actual preferences should be about. I’m all caught up and now on requests. Now that it’s summer I’m hoping to be writing more as long as you request I will write 😁❤️.
391 notes · View notes
realdemonslovecats · 5 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Sooooooooooo
I have a self-insert.  Named Grace.  She’s Grim Reaper.
ya.........
55 notes · View notes
risingphoenix761 · 5 years
Text
Sooooooooooo.........
I've been looking for an excuse to do this for awhile, and @kitkat589 gave it to me! I'mma talk about my favorite Phantom of the Opera movies! (Sticking with the movies, but know that I can talk for days about any and all things Phantom)
I'm trying to be merciful, so let's hope this cut works...
2004 musical, AKA the Gerard Butler version
Tumblr media
This one gets a bit of hate in certain parts of the fandom, but I love it. LOVE IT. Pure eye candy, as far as design goes, and I'm never going to complain about Gerard Butler and Patrick Wilson gracing my screen. LOL. Patrick is one of my favorite Raouls and I could fall asleep to sound of his voice. Don't think I've ever heard anyone gripe about him in the role, coz there ain't Jack shit to gripe about. He nailed it. Then there's Gerry... I've fought this war before and I'm braced for all the hate, but seriously: NO ACTOR HAS DONE MORE TO CAPTURE THE CHARACTER, PERIOD. He's an actor before he's a singer, and yeah, that shows, but whatever he doesn't have as far as vocal ability goes, he makes up for in performance. The allure. The madness. The loneliness. The sorrow. I'll have to reschedule this particular talk for a later post, because again, I can talk for DAYS about Gerry's Phantom. Reiterating the eye candy thing; the visuals are gorgeous. Emmy Rossum as Christine has a good dynamic with GB and PW and plays an interesting duality between innocence and sexual awakening. Yeah, she's not the most technically skilled in the role, but I still adore her. Her "Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again" will always be one of my faves.
1925 silent movie, AKA the Lon Chaney version
Tumblr media
Ooh, do I ever love this one! If anyone has luck getting hands on the DVD, let me know. In the meantime, I'll stick with what I can find on YouTube, which is a surprising amount. The thing is, you never know which version you're going to find. The original film was destroyed in the 1940's, and all that's left are edits from archives. My favorite that I've run across so far is the 1996 edit with composer Carl Davis's score. Nice and eerie. The plot itself is a bit oversimplified in this version, but the horror genre was brand new, so I guess that's to be expected. As a whole, this one is the most faithful to Gaston Leroux's book (they even had a graveyard violin scene, which was later cut), EXCEPT for the ending. They filmed three endings, the first of which stuck to the book, with the Phantom releasing Christine and Raoul and dying ostensibly of a broken heart. (Does "I'm dying of love" ring any bells?) Test audiences didn't like that! They wanted something decisive! No redemption for villains! The ending you see in the movie was the only one that got the thumbs-up, and if you ask me, I'll tell you right away that I hate it. Lon Chaney as the Phantom, though, is a sight to behold. So nuanced. I love it.
1989 slasher, AKA the Robert Englund version
Tumblr media
It's cheesy as hell, but it's got it's good points. Robert Englund being one of them. He got the best dialogue in the script, and he owns that shit. Another good point, the music! THE MUSIC! Misha Segal's score is to die for!
Third good point, the cinematography. The cemetery violin scene in particularly is lovely and just the right amount of spooky.
undefined
youtube
This one kinda does its own thing with the story (well, almost all of the film adaptations do), but if you take it for what it is, it's pretty fun. Also a little gross in some parts. It's an 80s slasher flick, after all.
POTO at the Royal Albert Hall, AKA the 25th anniversary concert
Tumblr media
It was a glorious time in the fandom when this went down. GLORIOUS. We followed all the news, from the casting choices to production details, and then the concert itself? WHOA. The performance was broadcast live to movie theaters, then PBS picked it up and ran it, then there was a DVD release... Why is this a big deal? Because for A LOT of people, this is as close to seeing the stage musical as they'll ever get. It's very nearly the same show down to the last detail, and for such a long-running, iconic, extravagant show, that's huge. The cast is on another level, if you're a theater nerd. You have Ramin Karimloo as the Phantom (one of the longest running in the role), Sierra Boggess as Christine (the original Christine from the Phantom In Vegas production), Hadley Fraser as Raoul (in what I think was his debut in any Phantom production, though Les Mis fans know him VERY well), and one of the best parts of watching this one is playing spot the cameo appearance. I admit, Ramin and Sierra aren't my faves, but they've played opposite each other long enough, they work well together, and he and Hadley have been besties for a long time, so this 👏 cast 👏 has 👏 chemistry 👏 dammit! I'll have to make another post for this one to break down all the best talking points, but ugh! THIS IS AMAZING!
Honorable Mentions
The Wishbone version
Yay! Wishbone! And it's on YouTube!
1943 adaptation, AKA the Claude Rains version
This one's good if you're into the Golden Age of Hollywood, with extravagant opera sequences, over-the-top designs, etc. There's not a whole hell of a lot about this one that's very Phantom, per se. It's more of an "in name only" kind of deal. But the ending of a particular subplot is one of the most satisfying I've ever seen, and the music is on point.
1998 adaptation, AKA the Dario Argento version
HAHA YEAH FUCKING RIGHT! No one in the fandom ever said that with a straight face and about one of the only things we all agree on is how fucking horrible this version is, but it led to the masterpiece that is this review. Watch the whole thing. It's so worth it.
And that's that! *throws confetti*
25 notes · View notes
Text
Grace & Janis
Grace: UGH Grace: tell me your secrets Grace: this boy will NOT take a hint 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: My secrets on repelling lads? Charming 😏 Grace: OMG I meant on getting people to leave you alone Grace: but if you do have any obvs Grace: 😂 Janis: Being real mean and telling 'em to fuck off usually works Janis: but not always case in point ☝ Grace: It's like he thinks it's a challenge now Grace: Like NO Janis: Love a challenge Janis: don't tell Mia Janis: do you not rate him at all or what? Grace: idk it's not that Grace: there's just TOO MUCH build up at this point Grace: he's highkey Janis: You reckon you ain't gonna meet expectation then, I get it Janis: just 'cos he wants it don't mean you gotta, you know Janis: can still get what you want out of it though Grace: if he tells everyone that I can't I'll have to kms Grace: boys talk too, remember? Janis: Yeah but who cares Grace: UM ME OBVS Grace: now he thinks I'm like playing hard to get Grace: not hard to want Janis: Just bite the bullet and do it then Janis: if it's shit you can blame him Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: oh please! who do I have in my corner rn? Grace: can't work the narrative on my own Grace: just tell me what to say so he'll FINALLY get the message Grace: like I'm too good for him or something Grace: you always do that Janis: Why not? Her word ain't law no matter what she reckons, you know Janis: Assumedly unless he's so un-you-type that he's a decent lad Janis: Who is he, does he go to our School Grace: he's from some posh school that Mia didn't get into Grace: but she knows him Grace: FOCUS Janis Janis: ew Janis: he's probably a snob anyway Janis: and it don't matter what he's chatting to his mates Janis: you're sure Mia isn't like Janis: setting you up here or Grace: OMG Grace: what if she is Grace: he's like WAY persistent Grace: 😱😱😱 Janis: Didn't wanna be that bitch but Janis: she is Janis: all the more reason to a. not fuck him b. have a good time and leave him wishing you would Grace: DUH Grace: but like I said expectations are soooooooooooooo OTT Grace: idk Janis: so? Janis: you can do it Janis: boys are easily impressed Janis: lbr Grace: what if he IS a snob tho!? Grace: 🤔🤔🤔 Janis: We're rich Janis: he don't need to know the specifics Janis: know how to behave, have to deal with Ri and Buster so Grace: true he's soooo Grace: ugh Grace: still, NEED to shop if this is happening Grace: this is what I mean, such an EVENT Grace: & if I'm not even gonna shag him LIKE 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: The amount of clothes you have Janis: really Grace: don't start Grace: do I have clothes to snare a posh boy?! Think not Grace: If I've worn it before I LITERALLY CAN'T Grace: I'm telling you he's EXTRA Grace: trying to impress here Janis: 🙄 Janis: Well let's not act like it's a hardship, any excuse to shop with you Janis: so go for it Grace: UM rude Janis: 😂 Come on Janis: you should have a share in Topshop at this point Grace: If I did I wouldn't need to impress any lads 💸💸💸 Janis: 'Course Janis: forgot you were in it for the 💰 Grace: Excuse you, not Ri Grace: wish she was here tho Janis: Sure she can spare time to facetime you if nowt else Grace: you'd think Grace: ugh Grace: this family, only around when you don't want them Grace: so typical Janis: Preaching to the choir Grace: did mum & dad catch barista boy the other night?? Grace: assuming not as you haven't died of shame Grace: sooooooooo cringe Janis: Don't think so Janis: Not that I was trying to sneak, just don't want them to chat to him Janis: or me, for that matter Grace: OMG dad would try & feed him Grace: LET IT GO Janis: Don't Janis: I have to have dinner with his family, and his Dad's girlfriend Grace: ��😱😱 Grace: next level cringe Janis: Yeah Janis: idc about the kids they're cool but Grace: his little brother is sooooooooooo cute 😍😍 Grace: & not to be a bitch but better at art than your bf Janis: 😂 Janis: alright go on a date with him Grace: if I was 6 I would Janis: You weirdo Janis: 😏 Grace: whatever he's adorable shhh Grace: Asia's little brother is 👾 like actually soooooooo mean Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Know the feeling, babe Grace: bitch don't be calling me out Grace: I'm so nice Janis: 😏 Janis: so self-centred, you know there's 10 of us Janis: could be talking about any one of yous Janis: talking 'bout you all, as it goes but Grace: you're the mean one 👌👌👌 Grace: are you still gonna help me with my OOTD or not? Janis: Never Janis: so shocking you would suggest that Janis: yeah, go on then Grace: don't be a bitch when I spam you with dressing room selfies Grace: the lighting is literally designed to make us wanna kill ourselves Janis: 🐸🍵 Janis: hot take Grace: 🐸 to 👸 🤞 Janis: Don't be tryna lips the sales assistant Janis: she don't get paid enough for that Grace: if I'm not getting any from my date Janis: 🙄 called that in the air Janis: no need to have that many sleepovers Grace: 😂 Grace: Mia obvs would have invited you babes if that was true Janis: 🤢 it's gross 'cos it's true Grace: should we throw her a coming out party or?? Grace: It is pride month Grace: before you know it Janis: 😂 Bitch I wish you would Grace: if I knew that was all it would take for you to like me Grace: 💔💔💔 Janis: What, dragging that bitch? No duh Janis: You been knew Grace: she's the only one who thinks being gay is a drag Grace: idk why even Grace: I'd love that, boys are the WORST Janis: 💔 Janis: The tragedy that is hetrosexuality Grace: I know, right? Grace: so unfair Grace: but like I'd just be worried that the girl is hotter than me the whole time anyway so Janis: 😂 Janis: Looks like you can't win, babe Grace: Truly Grace: [sends first potential outfit] Grace: 😱😱😱 LOOK at this! UGH I wanna die Janis: It isn't that bad, calm down Janis: the colour is a bit Janis: though, so yeah, keep looking Grace: No way this assistant is getting 💋 now thank you Grace: you're more help & that's Grace: just weird Janis: not working on commission Janis: though I should charge Grace: IOU Grace: whenever Janis: Whatever Janis: nbd Grace: I'm serious, not THAT much of a bitch Grace: [sends outfit option 2] Grace: OMG!! HOW ARE THEY GETTING WORSE! Grace: 🤢🤢🤢 Janis: Nah, don't even bother to hang that back up Janis: why are they selling that Grace: gonna have to be ✂ out & buy it anyway Grace: 😭😭😭 Grace: who it is for? cos I DON'T know her? Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: you're just flapping Janis: get your woman to help Grace: sure cos she's been sooooo helpful so far Grace: this is the worst day of my actual life Janis: 🙄 Janis: get your arse outta that and into something decent 'fore I have time to address that please Grace: [outfit 3 cos we know you ain't stuck bitch calm down] Janis: That's better Janis: it's a decent fit Janis: not slag short but you don't look like a nun either Grace: yeah but it needs to be 🔥 not just better than the worst this shop has to offer Grace: so what's bad about it? Grace: Gotta improve Janis: Not crazy about that Janis: idk what you'd call it Janis: but the frilly hem Janis: bit cutesy Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: same Grace: not a mood Janis: Will they ever stop bringing the 90s back Janis: the real question Grace: IKR Grace: over it Grace: never was about it but like go off Grace: OMG he's sent me the place we're going, search it for me to check I won't get thrown out for looking like a slag Grace: [sends deets] Janis: Bit fancy for a usual teenage lad but nothing too pretentious you gonna get kicked out Janis: You can deal Grace: so like???!! Grace: [outfit 4] Janis: Grace, that isn't the right size Janis: it's 10x too big for you Grace: Are you even looking at the same picture as me?! Janis: Yes bitch Janis: it has potential but you need the size down at least Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: 👌 wait Grace: [take 2] Janis: Way better Janis: can actually see you have a body Grace: I s2g if you're trolling me rn Grace: I will kill you Janis: I ain't, that's how it's meant to look Janis: not 2 foot of extra material Grace: I don't wanna do this Grace: no offense Grace: not this specifically Grace: just ugh Janis: Why not Grace: idk I haven't been to the gym in FOREVER Grace: & none of this is working either Janis: so you feel shit Janis: what's a better way to feel better about yourself than having a boy all 😍 and Mia all 😡 Grace: but what if it goes wrong Grace: I haven't been on a date date for ages either Grace: & not to like Grace: wherever this is Grace: like excuse me while I load up a tutorial about which fork to use when 🙄🙄 Janis: It won't Janis: you're chatty, you're the nice one Janis: unless he's really boring or a dick then like Janis: that's on him Janis: if anyone is suited to dates, it's you Grace: Oh please Grace: anyone can be chatty & nice when they want a boy to get off with them at a party Grace: even you Janis: Yeah? Why didn't I then Janis: Massive virgin you reckon Grace: duh cos you don't want to Grace: waiting on your rom-com moment with barista boy obvs Janis: 😑 piss off Grace: it's not shade babes Grace: it's like the opposite Janis: It's you that likes rom-coms, not me Grace: everyone's jealous for a reason tho Grace: not saying I am cos EW Grace: kms Janis: Nice save Grace: OMG shut up Grace: you know what I mean Janis: Whatever Janis: not trying to make you jealous Grace: I'm just saying Grace: he's actually a decent boy & he likes you & knows how to treat you Grace: how often is that happening around here? Janis: not with the lads you like Janis: not all of 'em are cunts Grace: CAN YOU NOT Grace: so rude to me Janis: it's not, it's your taste Grace: OMG didn't open my mouth to be attacked Grace: thank you Janis: 🙄 calm down Grace: you first Grace: you're so mean literally ALL the time Janis: Not telling you exactly what you wanna hear isn't mean, Mia Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever Grace: this was a bad idea Janis: You're so dramatic Grace: and? Grace: we've established you want me to change my entire personality Grace: get over it Janis: I don't give a shit Janis: I said you should Janis: then you wouldn't be 😭 all the time Grace: you have no idea Janis: Mhmm Janis: your struggle is so unique and complex Grace: no, but it's mine & you don't want any part in it so don't comment Janis: Nah Janis: I can do what I want Grace: yeah exactly Grace: it's so easy for you Janis: 🙄 Janis: sure Grace: I am Grace: I'd love not to care, babes Grace: such a mood Janis: then grow a pair and do it Grace: I can't Grace: I'm not you Janis: Not a requirement Grace: isn't it? Grace: if I put in as much effort or lack of as you, no boys would be falling in love with me Grace: trust Grace: they don't now Janis: you can't control other people, that's why Grace: I can't control what I look like either Janis: well you do so Janis: lie Grace: no I don't Grace: I have to be so extra to get anyone to pay attention to me Grace: you don't, you never would Janis: It's not a comparison to be made Janis: look at where you're looking to get attention from, like I said Grace: THAT'S the lie Grace: I'm compared to every sister we've got Grace: especially you Janis: and I'm not? Janis: People are dicks Grace: it just matters Grace: like it or not Grace: so I have to care about it Janis: Why Janis: you think you're gonna suddenly be hotter than Ri or a model like Billie 'cos you try Janis: that won't happen and people are still gonna chat Grace: so what I let myself be a 2 cos I can't be a 10? Grace: Like I wanna be alone forever Janis: People like what they like, you can't control it Janis: if you felt like a 10, it'd be irrelevant Grace: well I don't so it's not Janis: aren't you bored Grace: do you care? Janis: asked didn't I Grace: Like that means anything Grace: I asked you for help it doesn't mean it'll save my date disaster Janis: 🙄 Sod you then Grace: sure Janis: 👌 Grace: thanks for the help Grace: wasn't like a totally tragic attempt Janis: Like I care Janis: you try so hard you should have it figured out by now Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Bye then Janis: have fun on your date Grace: I'll try Grace: obvs Janis: Got to stay true to type Grace: exactly Janis: go with the last one you tried on Janis: welcome Grace: The search continues Grace: stopping at like 4 lacklustre outfits? UM NO Janis: yeah how crazy not to waste another 4 hours having emotional breakdowns in a changing room Grace: how crazy to bother going on this date at all if I'm not bringing it Grace: bitch please Janis: so pick 4 Grace: it's not good enough Grace: need a jaw dropping moment duh Janis: 🙄 Grace: I don't need anymore help don't do yourself an injury Janis: yeah you do Janis: call one of your friend Grace: No I don't Grace: rude bitch Janis: found an outfit then? no Grace: I can do it Grace: I'm not that tragic Janis: 👌 Grace: such 🔥 advice from you, babes Grace: that's the secret Janis: You said it yourself, I don't need to try Janis: boohoo Grace: duh why I asked Grace: if I was gonna ask my friends I could just ask myself Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: Well you ain't listening and apparently can't 'cos you ain't me so how did you think it'd work Grace: I am listening I'm just choosing to ignore you Grace: cos I don't trust you Janis: well then why waste both our time asking Grace: IDK Grace: I thought maybe you'd hold off being a judgey bitch for long enough Janis: Oh fuck off Janis: You're literally asking for judgment Janis: and I gave it you Grace: of the clothes not EVERYTHING else Grace: I feel bad enough thank you Janis: I haven't said shit Janis: it's you Grace: you're always shading me Grace: check back in with yourself & this convo Grace: not even passive aggressive just aggressive Janis: I said you had shit taste in men and friends, which is true Janis: and that's all I've said so jog on Grace: no, you're making fun of me for trying when I literally told you I have to Janis: No, I'm not Janis: you're saying how hard it is so I'm telling you to not Janis: ask why that bothers you so much Grace: if it wasn't hard I wouldn't have to, would I? Grace: I'd just be walking around #effortless like you Grace: you acting like crying in a dressing room is such a big joke bothers me Janis: You can, literally you are the only person stopping yourself Janis: If being you is harder than all this effort then you've got bigger problems than what dress to wear on this date Grace: I'm aware Grace: but one thing at a time, hun Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: Priorities, Grace Grace: oh excuse me Grace: I'll just put everything on hold while I address being me 👌👌 Janis: well bitch Janis: what is your excuse Janis: just do it before you're 40 your midlife crisis would be tragic Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: best advice yet obvs Grace: maybe you should charge, babes Janis: That's the plan Janis: you owe me, remember Grace: & you're taking it in 💸 yeah? weird flex but sure Janis: what else have you got Janis: don't look enough alike I can force you to go to this dinner so Grace: You could literally make me do ANYTHING & that's what you're going with? Grace: Having a bf has obvs changed you Grace: real tragedy Janis: Clearly not as mean as you reckon Janis: gutted Grace: for you, you had being a savage going for you at least Janis: Mhmm Janis: one moment I'm #effortless the next I've got nowt Janis: give it up, kid Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: didn't say that Grace: also am literally older than you, bitch Janis: what are you saying Janis: you don't make no sense, babe Grace: your looks are effortless, your personality needs work Grace: but nothing is going too far Grace: you're got an IOU Grace: & the barista whose speech you're stealing now like Janis: Go me Janis: 👏 Grace: mhmmm Janis: Poor Gracie Janis: enough cafes about, do a crawl, get you your own Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: & I'm not listening to you, sure Grace: that'll solve all my problems rn thanks so much Grace: I don't wanna go on the date I agreed to Janis: Only 'cos you're nervous Janis: you aren't sworn off of dick are you Grace: you told me not to shag him Grace: so not the point Janis: You aren't on a ban Janis: just not him in case Mia is scheming Grace: you don't know what self imposed rules I'm living by Janis: 😂 Really Grace: Better story than nobody being interested Grace: schemes aside Janis: 🙄 come off it Grace: Oh sorry are you not living for my honesty Janis: you said it, anyone can get lads to get off with them Janis: so that ain't what you want either Grace: I also told you it's been ages Grace: & never said that's what I want anyway Janis: well you ain't forgot, like Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: what it's like to have an actual boyfriend maybe Janis: maybe Janis: like he's maybe several squirrels in a boy suit Grace: You're so weird Grace: what am I meant to do with that Janis: Says you Janis: You've had boyfriends, ain't you, like, what do you mean Grace: not really Janis: ? Grace: I've had boys Grace: sometimes they wanna get off with me more than once Grace: I'm not going to family dinners Grace: I'm not even #official Janis: Oh Janis: Okay Janis: well I'm just going to this dinner to piss off his Dad so like Janis: but I don't know Janis: it's Janis: nice Grace: Well you'll be amazing at that Grace: what's his dad's thing? Grace: why he so idk Janis: 👍🖕 cheers, bitch Janis: He don't like me but he's just a moody twat in general Grace: you should play the race card at dinner Grace: that'll really get to him Janis: 😂 Janis: Probably ain't looked at me long enough to notice Grace: it'll make him uncomfortable anyway Grace: I get comments on my vids all the time Janis: Idk why you keep doing it Grace: obvs Grace: you don't know anything about me Janis: 🙄 Janis: it wasn't a read Janis: I'm just saying Janis: all the trolling you get Grace: I'm just saying Grace: It's a fact Grace: we don't know each other Grace: another reason I asked for your help before, duh Janis: How's that make sense Grace: what do you even mean? Janis: How'd you reckon I could help you if I don't know you, is what I mean Grace: cos I'm not trying to be myself Grace: so you don't need to Grace: get in, make him want me, get out Grace: but not the real me, just whoever he wants me to be Grace: or thinks I am already whatever Janis: It would help if I knew him, or you did Janis: not all boys like one look Janis: contrary to what you might think Grace: I know enough Grace: & I know the kind of boys Mia is 'friends' with Grace: I'm not as stupid as you think Janis: then why do you need my help Janis: Jesus Grace: I didn't need it Grace: I just wanted it Grace: like I said, I've got no backup Janis: have you tried on any more or what Janis: what are you even doing Grace: I'm in a different shop Grace: excuse you Janis: Oh God Janis: Are you gonna be this unbearable if I come find you? Grace: I can go harder, bitch Grace: Is this a test? Grace: this one's got more potential Grace: so not sorry Janis: Shut up, do you want me to come or nah Grace: not really Grace: can't mute you in person Janis: Fuck you then Grace: Like you said, I feel shit Grace: do I need you adding to it? 🤔 Janis: I was coming to help 'cos I felt sorry for you but literally get to fuck Grace: yeah your pity is really gonna help Grace: I'd rather die Janis: FYI then, you're coming on strong with the sobstory Janis: not a mood Grace: thanks Janis: 👋 Grace: 💋 Grace: [later] Grace: my phone's dying tell mum & dad where I am so they don't get extra Janis: Alright Janis: another IOU though Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: whatever Grace: I've got money so Grace: haven't shopped THAT hard Janis: Nah Janis: like I ain't gonna rise to the challenge Janis: HATE to disappoint Grace: awkward considering how often you do it Grace: but sure Janis: Whatever you say 😏 Grace: Mia's still walking around being THAT bitch so yeah Grace: disappointed™️ Janis: sounds a bit like you want me to murder her...? Grace: 😂 Grace: better idea Grace: come with me Janis: Twin murder Janis: someone's got to have beat us to that 👯 Grace: UM HELLO!? I'm being serious Grace: come on the date with me & she'll die Janis: 🤔 Janis: Hmm Grace: you know I'm right Grace: you don't even have to have a good time as long as the #s say you do Grace: not like I'm seeing this boy again you can literally leave after pics Janis: Yeah, alright Janis: I'll ask Jim, as long as he ain't busy then why not Grace: yay! Grace: 👌👌👌 Grace: persuade him babes Janis: Sometimes he has to look after his sibs it's not that easy but I'm asking Grace: tell him I'll take a shift Grace: I'm an amazing babysitter Janis: dope, you gotta come on your own date 😂 Grace: I mean as an IOU like Grace: so you two can go on one that you actually wanna Grace: 💖💖 Janis: I'll throw that out too Janis: Yeah, he'll do it Grace: OMG Grace: yay Grace: wear something she'll hate Janis: Know I said it weren't that posh but reckon trackies are a no-go Janis: but she hates everything I do so not hard still Grace: duh just look 🔥🔥🔥 Grace: she thinks you can't Janis: Yeah right Janis: 👌🍆 Janis: established Grace: don't be borrowing any of my clothes to do it bitch, I saw that! Janis: Don't worry, I won't 😂 Grace: HOW DARE Grace: that dress was in reach of you for a reason Grace: not like it's my fave Janis: Should hope not Janis: it got the job done Grace: I'm not wearing it on the date so chill Grace: or like EVER now you have Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm not diseased Grace: bitch you 'grammed it Grace: do you wanna share clothes with me? I think not Janis: Technically I didn't Janis: 🤷 Grace: It's still there Grace: we aren't 6, not a mood Janis: 💔 Janis: Turn it into curtains then Janis: switch it up Grace: You're so weird Grace: not that kind of youtuber thanks Janis: like you've not seen the sound of music Grace: Indie & Ri made me Grace: 🙄 Janis: 👌 you loved it Grace: shut up Grace: I did not Grace: soooooooooo cringe Janis: you loved any time they'd let you hang Grace: glad my phone's about to die if you're going back to being a bitch Janis: oh hush Janis: got the place, give us the time then Grace: be there at 8 Grace: we don't need to go together Janis: would feel a bit ganged up on Janis: poor lad Janis: you can have drinks first, I know to be fashionably late Grace: thank god Grace: I'll need them Grace: he's so Janis: so? Grace: ugh idk so MUCH Grace: the ego is like Grace: I can't Janis: sounds like a keeper Janis: whatever Janis: had worse night's out for less, yeah? Grace: IKR Grace: 🙄 whatever I'm focused Grace: he thinks I'm gonna be all 😍😍😍 that'll be you boy Janis: 👍 Janis: exactly Grace: OMG what should I drink? Drunk is not the mood Janis: Yeah, go easy Janis: just like rose or some shit Grace: champagne 'cause he's rich Grace: it doesn't taste nice so Grace: not gonna be wild Janis: as long as there's water at the table Janis: so dry Grace: & as long as he's paying Grace: no way I am Grace: sorry about it ladies but this isn't a typical date night Janis: 😶 Janis: secret's safe with me Grace: tell the barista Grace: if anything's on the 'gram that ruins me I'm gonna murder him Janis: 😂 Janis: don't get your bad side, got it Grace: girl please, for that night only I don't have one Janis: That's the attitude Janis: if he's paying got more funds to go all out Grace: I hope it's not actually too expensive if you have to Grace: Mia's not worth THAT much Janis: Nah, I checked Janis: he's not going that hard Grace: Phew Grace: last thing I need is his entitlement 🙄 Janis: Obvs Daddy's spends aren't going that far Grace: how embarrassing Janis: all sorted then? Grace: sure Janis: in a bit then Grace: 😘
1 note · View note
ayaan-9x · 6 years
Text
Peaky Blinders’ Women
Let’s all agree that peaky blinders is a very good show in every aspect EXCEPT IN WRITING WOMEN CHARACTERS AND THEIR DEVELOPMENT IS SERIOUSLY THE WORST WHY?? HERE IS WHY: 
*** DON’T CONTINUE READING IF YOU DIDN’T WATCH S1&2&3&4 ***
Grace: She was a good character in S1 but in S2 they changed her to a whole new person and after that they didn't know what to do with her so they killed her in S3, basically her only job was to bring little Charlie to the world.
Lizzie: The writing of her character is SO BAD I feel so sad for her she could have been more than Tommy's poppet everything she does is ordered by Tommy in S1 he stopped her from being with John because he wanted her for himself to control and he didn’t want his brother to marry a prostitute also in S2 he used her as a bait and she got raped because of him, in S3 she was in a relationship with Angel Changretta but Tommy and the peaky blinders didn’t approve of this affair so they threatened Angel and eventually they killed him, in S4 she was so jealous of May seeing her as a threat to her relationship with Tommy (RELATIONSHIP WHAT RELATIONSHIP RIGHT !!!) and Lizzie got pregnant with Thomas’s baby what was his reaction to this HE OF COURSE OFFERED HER MONEY AND A HOUSE HE DIDN’T MARRY HER CAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE RIGHT THING TO DO IN THAT TIME and the worst thing is that Tommy doesn't love Lizzie he loves her loyalty and commitment to him but she does loves him and it breaks my heart.
BUT AFTER ALL THE BAD WRITING I STILL LOVE HER SO MUCH
Linda: In S3 she appeared from nowhere to be Arthur’s wife with no backup story who is she? where is she from? how did she meet Arthur? only god knows, The only thing we know about her is that she is religious and Arthur loves her and she controls Arthur In S4 we see her controlling Arthur more and more and being less religious BY LESS I MEAN HER DRINKING AND DOING COKE (WHAT KIND OF CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT IS THIS????!!!!!!).
May: Another character with a lot of potentials to be so much more (BUT THEY DON’T WANT HER TO BE) in S2 she first appeared to train Thomas’s horse for the race meanwhile they had a short affair that ended by Grace because she was pregnant and Thomas was still in love with Grace so he chose Grace, in S4 she reappeared just to have a chat with Tommy, taste his gin and give him a kiss (REALLY PEOPLE REALLY ! ! ! AT LEAST SHE ISN’T DEAD THOUGH).
I LOVE HER TOO
Esmé: We know her since S1 (BUT DO WE REALLY KNOW HER NO WE ONLY SEE FRAGMENTS OF HER AND HER BADASS CHARACTER) ,she got married to John in S1 and we saw her first child with John in S2, She was pregnant again in S3, John dies in S4 and I guess this is the end of her character on the show CAUSE WHEN JOHN WAS ALIVE WE NEVER SAW HER WITH HER OWN KIDS WE NEVER SAW HER WITH JOHN’S KIDS FROM HIS FIRST WIFE MARTHA ! ! ! ! SO I DON’T THINK THEY WILL SHOW ANYTHING ABOUT HER AFTER JOHN’S DEATH unless she shows up with Johnny Dogs or Aberama Gold.
I ALSO LOVE HER TO THE MOON AND BACK 
Jessie: THE WRITER DID HER SO DIRTY AND I AM SO BITTER. THE FASTEST DOWNHILL OF A CHARACTER I EVER WITNESSED ON A TV SHOW, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS I HOPE SHE DOESN'T EXIST IN S5 BECAUSE OF HER NOW THOMAS IS IN THE PARLIAMENT IF SHE IS IN S5 AND HELPS HIM AGAIN HE WILL BE THE KING
ALSO SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS POTHERING ME SOOOOOOOOOOO MUCHHHHHHHHHHHH THE FACT THAT EVERY FEMALE CHARACTER ON THE SHOW HAVE TO BRING BENEFIT FOR THOMAS SHELBY OR HELP HIM REACH THE TOP EVERY SINGLE ONE WHY ????????????????!!!!!!
THE BEST FEMALE CHARACTERS WRITTEN ON THE SHOW ARE:
 I. THE QUEEN POLLY GRAY                                                                             II. THE PRINCESS ADA SHELBY                                                                       III. THE PRINCESS TATIANA PETROVNA  
685 notes · View notes
Solangelo Headcanon Based Fics
sooooooooooooooooooooo. As you know I kinda sorta got hooked on writing Solangelo Headcannons and I've been thinking about turning a few them into full scale short-ISH fics all day today. It's currently 11:14 P.M. at the time I'm writing this and I decided "why the hell not?" sooo lets get to it! This is gonna be the first of a few as I come up with them. I know that a few are very long winded, but last time I checked, I normally write that way. Heheh......instead of giving you guys fanfiction fuel, I accidentally gave myself fanfiction fuel! XD
sooooooooooo here goes nothing!
Fic #1 Based on my very first headcanon. I call this one "Black Rose Admirer"
Will nonchalantly strolled out of the Infermary after a thankfully slow day. Once he was far enough away, he checked his pockets and pulled out a small pouch containing Thirteen golden drachmas. Will let out a sigh of relief "Good." he whispered under his breath, "Still there." He had been waiting all day for this ever since he got word from the Demeter cabin that their Roses were finally in bloom! A few weeks ago, he bribed the Demeter kids to grow Thirteen black roses for him. When one asked who they were for, he just said it was for "someone special." No hints of weather it was a romantic someone, or for a friend. But Will knew exactly who they were for. He's had his eye on this boy for quite a while now. The mysterious Son of Hades, who only spent Three days in the infirmary with him, and suddenly made Will a little hot under the collar whenever he thought about him. It was the Raven haired Italian prince of death, Nico di Angelo. And what an Angel he was (to Will, anyway). Will didn't want anybody to know what he was doing, just in case it didn't work out. However, if it did, oh boy was he going to shout it from the rooftops! But for now a black ops secret admirer mission would have to do (pun intended). Going into full stealth mode, he was determined to get to the Demeter cabin completely unnoticed. If anybody caught him with a huge bouquet of roses in his hand, demigods would be asking left and right about who has the Head Medic of Camp Half-Blood love-struck enough to buy flowers for. Pretty much the last thing he needs today. Without too much trouble, and by some miracle, Will was able to make it over to the cabin without getting caught. He saw a girl with wild and wavy red hair and green eyes fiddling with a pair of well worn hedge clippers, obviously trying to get them back in working order. The girl looked up as she saw Will coming over. "Well, Well, Well." she said as a gentle smile graced her freckled face, "If it isn't my favorite Apollo kid." "Hey, Lilly." Will waved awkwardly. "Let me guess. You're here for the roses, aren't you?" Lilly got up and dusted herself off. Will nodded. "Come with me." She grabbed Will's hand and lead him toward the amazing garden that the Demeter kids all grew together. Every kind of flower, fruit, vegetable, and berry you can think of! You name it, they had it! Including the Iconic strawberries that kept the camp running, when picked and sold by the truck load. Lilly lead Will towards the flower section of the garden where Will could see roses blooming in every color! Ironically, Hyacinth flowers grew nearby. Will remembered how his dad, Apollo created the flower from one of his many lovers, the Spartan Prince, Hyacinthus. Zephyr, the west wind , was also in love with Hyacinthus and instead of dealing with his emotions properly, he decided that if he couldn't have him, no one could. So Zephyr decided to murder Hyacinthus by shifting the winds and causing a discus to fly into his head. Apollo turned Hyacinthus into that flower to preserve his life and beauty forever and wrote tragic poetry onto the petals. The one time when his dad was actually good at poetry at all. Will hoped and prayed to the gods that the same thing wouldn't happen to him. The thought was jolted from his mind when he saw a tiny section of the rainbow of roses blocked off. "Here we are!" Lilly announced in a singsong voice, "So What do you think?". There they were. 13 roses in full velvety black splendor glittering with droplets of dew on the biggest petals. Will stared in awe at the amazing flowers. Lilly had truly outdone herself this time. "I had to import the soil from Turkey, which is the only place they grow naturally." She explained, "It took a little more TLC than most of my roses, but it was so worth it!" Will gave Lily a big hug in excited gratitude. "Oh my gods, Lilly! These are perfect!" Will exclaimed. "Aw, shucks." Lilly's cheeks turned a soft shade of pink, "But, honestly. Would you expect anything less from me?" It was a known fact the Lilly was the keeper of the roses in the flower section of the garden. Her roses were the best of the best, and you best believe that she made a killing off of them once February rolled around at camp. Those roses were her children and she took great pride in them. Lilly took out a smaller pair of clippers used to pick flowers from the garden from her dress pocket. She began to pick the black roses one by one until they were all in her hand. Will followed her inside the cabin where she wrapped up the roses in silvery grey plastic wrap and tied it all together with a long piece of black ribbon into a neat and tidy bow. "I can't thank you enough for this." said Will as he got out the red pouch from his pocket and held it out for Lilly to take from him. "Here." he said with a grateful smile, "One for each rose." Lilly smiled and shook her head. Will stared at her, understandably confused. "Oh, no you don't, Solace." Lilly handed the freshly made bouquet to Will, "This one's on the house." "Wait, seriously?" Will asked. "Yeah!" Lilly exclaimed, "It's the least I could do! You healed up my hand good as new after that copperhead bit me a couple weeks ago. We're square, buddy!" Will sighed "You're a lifesaver!" "Actually," Lilly corrected, "You would technically be the lifesaver." Will was going to retort, but Lilly cut him off before he could. "Now go win over your Prince of Darkness!" Lilly turned him around and gave him a friendly shove. 'oh no.' Will thought. "You knew?!" he tried to whisper in a panic. "Actually, I kinda just guessed" Lilly shrugged. "How?!" Will started to get a little apprehensive. "Gee, let's see," Lilly began in a sarcastic tone as she put a hand on her hip and a finger to her chin, "Who wears the color black all the time, has black hair and lives in a big cabin made of black obsidian?" Will turned a rosie shade of red. "Is it that obvious?" Will asked, trying to hide his reddish face. "Don't worry, Will. I promise I won't tell anyone." She raised her right hand. "I swear it on the River Styx." Thunder rumbled in the distance. Will let out a sigh of relief. At least he could trust Lilly with his little secret. "Thanks, Lilly." Lilly put her hands on his shoulders. "No problem. Now get to the Hade's cabin, pronto!" Lilly shoved Will out of the Demeter cabin, and walked back over to the hedge clippers to try and get the darn things working again. Will felt solar flares going off in his stomach instead of butterflies. Contrary to popular belief, he's never done anything remotely romantic before. But here he was, about to pull the oldest trick in the book, by leaving a bouquet of roses at the doorstep of the boy he liked. Will steadied himself and took a deep breath. 'Here goes nothing." he thought. He walked past all the cabins until he stopped dead in his tracks in front of his destination. There it was, Cabin 13. The home of the children of Hades. A big imposing looking building, with walls made of black obsidian. A giant skull hung over the doorway and torches carrying green fire burned 24 hours a day. Will had to admit, it sure did leave an impression. This was it. The moment of truth. Will's hands were shaking like a leaf and his knees slowly started to buckle, his heart began to pound in his ears. He started having second thoughts, but quickly punched those second thoughts in the proverbial face and steadied himself again. He walked up the steps to stop right at the humungous doors that if he didn't know any better, could lead straight into the Underworld. Will took a deep breath, and prayed to the gods that Nico would be in there. He raised his fist, and knocked on the door Three times. At first, nothing happened. Then after what seemed like forever, he heard a voice from inside the cabin. "Coming!" 'OH SNAP!' Will screamed in his mind. he gently placed the flowers in front of the door, sprinted down the stairs, and dove into a nearby bush. He peaked through the leaves just in time to see Nico open the giant black door. Will's heart was beating so loudly in his ears, he had no idea how Nico couldn't hear it. His olive skin glowed in the sunlight. His silky raven hair was messy as usual, but always managed to look gorgeous anyway. Nico walked out and looked side to side to find no one there. He looked down at his feet and was in complete disbelief at what he saw. A large bouquet of 13 velvety black roses in full bloom. Will watched with unblinking eyes in anticipation to see how Nico would react. Upon closer inspection, Nico discovered a small card tied to the black ribbon holding the bouquet together. He opened it, but it didn't say who it was from. All that was there was a golden Lyre emblazoned on the card. The symbol of Apollo. Nico's eyes widened, his cheeks started turning a lovely shade of red. And then, something completely unexpected happened. Nico di Angelo smiled. Although it was a tiny one, Will could tell it was definitely a smile. Nico quickly looked around again in case the mysterious admirer was around. With no such luck, Nico took the flowers and sped back inside the cabin, closing the giant black door behind him. Will snuck out of the bush once he saw the coast was clear. 'YES!' he whisper shouted in his mind. He did a little happy dance before heading off to dinner. That night, when he scraped his offering into the brasier, he made the a sacrifice to both Aprhodite and his dad, Apollo for extra luck in his further romantic endeavors in an effort to win the heart of the illusive Prince of Darkness. He treated himself with two chocolate chunk cookies that night to congradulate himself on a job well done, for phase one of his plan was complete.
38 notes · View notes
ts-indonesia · 5 years
Text
Episode 7: “back on my bullshit™️” - Anabel
After the birthday murder, the cast merged into the Berbagi Bir merge tribe! In a fierce flag-making immunity challenge, Jess got the job done, and earned herself immunity for the round.
As most merge votes are... this round was mess. SO, Matt’s name was one of the earliest thrown out, as one of the quieter members of the tribe, but Matt’s strong social game earlier in the season meant he had allies (like Anabel & Olivia) who did not wanna see that happen.
Potential Vote #2 was Stoner, spearheaded by Anabel, which was leaked (Host Note: I forget who specifically leaked this... lets go with Chris O because one of the confessionals said so) somewhat shooting that plan down.
On an all-returnee call, the vote was settled on Lorelei, as the least connected and least threatening newbie... but... then people did some things. So.. Owen/Stoner decided that returnee kumbaya was no more, and plotted to secretly flip and send out Matt... But that plan relied on the nuCahaya newbie pair sticking to the plan. In fact Trent/Anabel, motivated by Trent’s closeness to Jess/nuCahaya and Anabel’s strong formed relationship with Matt, decided to in fact vote out Lorelei, turning on the newbies, and lying to Owen/Stoner that they were also flipping on NuCahaya.
At tribal, Anabel played her idol, assuming since she just turned on Chris O, he would leak that she had it, and five members of the tribe were blindsided by Lorelei’s exit, with Owen/Stoner vulnerable due to their failed flip...
OLIVIA
Well I wasted my idol and voted out my best friend
Just vote me out now
STONER
https://youtu.be/8YsRquIDBLc
LEIGH
So the vote went exaclty how Trent and Anabel thought it would lmao. I've played too many of these games with aggressive players, it makes me paranoid. Merge time now!
OWEN
I MADE MERGE AGAIN YEEHAW!!!!! The power that that has... I'm quaking honestly. I was completely surprised the other tribe voted Isaac, but in a way I'm relieved because it means I'm not the only one who turned on old Cahaya. I think those tribal lines are going to fade FAST going into this merge... The only worry I have is if they did Isaac because they thought he flipped on Foxx and they're on a witch hunt, but honestly, it's probably just that he was inactive?? Idk. Anabel must've done something to get back into their good graces? We'll see. I'M SO HAPPY THOUGH!! I get to reunite with Olivia and Jess which I LOVE. I just need to explain myself to them about Foxx and they can explain about Isaac and I'm praying it's okay. I really want to stay loyal to Olivia and Matt as long as I can... I also though want to make a group of me/Chris O/Leigh/Lorelei maybe because I truly like all of them and I feel like I have a great 1 on 1 bond with all three. I know that Chris/Leigh at least talk, but I don't have a read on how close Lorelei is with them? We'll see. And it would be nice to pull Jess in to the Matt/Olivia stuff. My problem now is that I'm spreading myself WAY too thin. I have some sort of trust built or at least like cordial conversation built with everyone left except for Michael. It's going to get real fucking messy for me from here on out and it's going to bite me in the ass sooner rather than later because there's a huge chance that, unless something shuffles around, I get caught between two sides and I can't let that expose me so soon. But for now I'm just gonna be social and relax and enjoy talking to these people, because I do really like them a lot.
LORELEI
I made it to merge 😭😭😭 I'm so happy and so proud of myself. I'm so thankful for my alliance with Trent, Chris o, leigh, Anabel and myself. I couldn't have made it here without them. And Owen too, I wouldn't have made it this far if he, Leigh and Chris hadn't managed to flip the vote and vote Foxx (legend) out. I hope I can make it even further!
MICHAEL
One world confessional https://youtu.be/KCz4Lma5f0c
Pre Merge confessional https://youtu.be/vbcNhFsJUVg
OLIVIA
Me: votes out Isaac Me: I wanna talk to ISAAC HE GETS ME Me: it was for the best Me: BRING ME FRIEND
Mmmmmmok so I voted out Isaac, very heartbreaking. I spent all day not doing my homework also. 
But now we’ve merged. NuCahaya seems strong. Anabel is excited to work with us and we had a cute ten min call before the tribal and Trent sent a very nice message after, I appreciated that he acknowledged that was hard for me to do. 
I wasted my idol, but I think I managed to convince everyone it was a one round only idol lmao. If no one was convinced then oh well. It was so weird like an anxiety monster just took over my body and was like “everyone hates you and if you don’t play your idol you’re OUT” So that’s cute
But anyways. Owen, Matt and I had a very joyous and cute reunion which is interesting since I sorta set owen up as this big ol mastermind with NuCahaya 👀 I painted him as a target for the Foxx vote but he said it was because foxx was throwing around stoner’s name. Stoner was barely around and just went for it apparently. So those three definitely still wanna do like an all veterans thing? (Owen, stoner, Matt). Aaaaand like Jess, Michael, Trent, and Anabel all think we’re a fivesome against Owen and his minions which isn’t exactly the case but may be. Sooooooooooo. Yeah. The fivesome is outnumbered, the veterans aren’t. However Michael and Jess are 100% pro NuCahaya, which I am too. But like I love my dudes too. This vote is gonna change everything because it’s all peaches and cream rn lol. And I’m sorta smack in the middle it feels like with my Owen and Matt alliance which no one knows about and the NuCahaya which I don’t think the veterans would suspect. But I think voting out Isaac safely secured Anabel and Trent with us. I just can’t voice my opinion too much on this vote and I’ve gotta just calm down and fade into the background. Hopefully for now I can keep the delicate balance and we can get Leigh out who isn’t really playing. Jess I told about my idol and she wasn’t too mad at me stupidly playing it I hope lmao. We’re trying to figure out this new idol system together. 
I’m sorry Isaac, ily. I hope I can make cutting out my heart in this game worth it.
TRENT
So last night's vote was wild. The awesome foursome wanted to vote out isaac because Anabel is in it. But we needed to do it in a way that Olivia is on board, so we can use her as a number in the future. So we spent hours discussing the pros and cons, which was pointless because jess and michael were going to vote it anyway. Finally at like 8:45 Olivia agrees to vote Isaac. THEN i get a message from leigh and chris who are the infiltrators. They are freaking out because jess and michael won't confirm to vote isaac. They want to flip the vote on Olivia. Which makes no sense but they wanted to do a 3-3-1 tie and then get her out in the tie. Again makes no sense. I finally calm them down and tell them just to trust me and anabel will be safe. And of course at tribal, olivia plays her idol and i freak out thinking we got play, but thank goodness we didnt. Thank goodness we didn't listen to chris or leigh as well because that would have been super awkward to explain.    Now we are at merge, and the Charlie alliance is back in business. Somehow we all survived. Even though we were split down the middle with anabel and I being in the minority of the other tribe. Both of our tribes got returnees out. No matter which way you look at it, im at a 6-5 disadvantage. 6 returnees 5 newbies, 6 new obor 5 new cahaya. I just need to survive this next vote and the I think i'll be golden for a little while. I'm hearing some whispering of targeting matt next, and that would be perfect because it gets me to 5-5.
OWEN
Holy shit I just found an idol thank GOD!!!! I’m gonna fuck some shit up with this !!! YEEEEEESSSSS. I’ve officially found one three seasons in a row hehe :’) the grind nvr stops am I right Idk who to tell tho I feel like I need to say something to someone but... Idk. Might be nice to keep to myself
OLIVIA
Real depressed I didn’t win the challenge, spent so long hand drawing it and put a lot of love into it bc I truly love all my tribemates but I know Jess did the same and hers looks cool too. Cannnnot believe I got second again I’ve literally gotten second like every single flag challenge I’ve done 🙄
I had fun drawing today at least, that was a nice change of pace and I’m personally happy with how it turned out so that’s good haha and I realized I’m not half bad I should draw more. I’m always so negative about what I do and think everything looks terrible so I never end up doing anything 
I have no idea about this next vote, glad my bff won the challenge. I gotta lay low and make sure it ain’t me. 4 gays + finance manager Trent want Owen or one of his “squad” out. I’m going on call in my owen and Matt alliance tomorrow. Those two and stoner I’m sure wanna realign the veterans and get out a newbie. Maybe I can keep up the façade and direct both into getting out either Lorelei, Leigh, or Chris o (even tho, since getting to know them they’re all so sweet and cool but SOMEONE has to go) 
So hopefully that happens. I’ll see what Owen and Matt say tomorrow. As for Chris stoner, who knows 🤷‍♀️
OWEN
i was telling my roommates that I was stressed about this game bc i feel close to too many people and i said im just gonna randomize and the top five ppl on the list ill screw over..... guess whose name was on top? MATT. :o which is a little fitting bc i think it might come down to matt vs leigh tonight. idk it's been SO FUCKING quiet today it's really scaring me. i talked to jess and brought up that i thought matt or leigh will be the targets. she's so freaking sketchy to talk to bc she doesnt want to commit to ANYTHING. like...girl, u got the immunity??? be brave??? speak ur mind???????????????????? but she seemed to be tossing around the idea of doing matt... here's my deal. i love olivia and i even like matt a lot, and I like the torchsnuffers. but rn it seems weaker to move forward with them??? bc i love my bonds with chris o and lorelei.... and stoner of course. basically im in a middle of two sides and the most unanimous I can get rn, the fucking better!1!11 but I dont want to hurt olivia rn... :( GOD!!!!!!!!!!!! this is just all a tangled mess and I dont want to get caught in it too deep but i already AM!!!! if we were zoobeenee this never wouldve happened.... will it be leigh? will it be matt? will it be me?????? not sure. the only thing i know is after tribal tonight im gettin fuckin drunk!
JESS
I GOT IMMUNITY WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU JUDGES <3
MATT
bITCHES Be CONSPIRING AGAINSt ME!!
ANABEL
https://youtu.be/nYZxeLs1hY0
well. maybe the bitches. don’t. wanna. vote. stoner.
OWEN
Duck I am so stressed now The six returnees all called and decided on Lorelei. I’m ducking s reading I wish they decided anabel or something Idk . God dang it..... I don’t want to lose lorelei when she’s been so nice to me and I already saved her on the foxx vote. So I could do two things.... I could vote for Matt with stoner and chris/Leigh/Lorelei and hope that Trent or anabel do too. Then Lorelei is safe but I burn a bridge with olivia and jess which would suck and then I’m giving anabel and Trent a lot of power. I could give Lorelei my idol and tell her to play it on herself and then vote for her to try to save face with the vets but then like what if she tells them I gave it to her or they think I told her to use it.... and also matt would still be gone :( so Idk ughhh and then if that’s the case how to I explain to chris and Leigh why I voted her ???? I want stoner and I to maybe split our vote and then see what Trent an anabel do... idk I can’t decide but omg Trent is calling me. I could also just vote Lorelei and ride it iur
OLIVIA
Truly sorry for my lack of confessionals! Busy day. So I’m pretty confident it’s lorelei but for all we know it could be me! I’m finding myself not as stressed out because I don’t think I’ll EVER be as stressed out as I was with the Isaac vote so even if it’s me, not saying I’ll not be sad, but I’m more at peace. I’ve been on so many calls today jfc. Jess really finessed the hell outta this one with her insanely cool trick to get anabel and Trent to vote Lorelei that was awesome. If I have time later tonight I’ll explain more of what went down today later but until then? Sayonara!
The Isaac vote like changed me as a player it’s wild. I’ve never voted out my closest friend in a game and now I have and like lived through it like I’m?? Ok? Like it was so horrible but it was like digging a bullet out of my heart. It sounds so weird but like it opened up my ability to play without being like insane stressball and hopefully I can carry this through the game. It probably doesn’t make sense but yeah 😂
JESS
I'm tired of sitting around letting games slip through my fingers. This round I have immunity so why not crack a bit? I want that OTT baby! This round is going to be complicated. I don't want Matt to go whatsoever. What a plot twist from the begging of the season? I see no benefit of taking out someone who I believe will be in my corner in this game for a bit? I've compromised enough the last round with taking out Isaac for Trent/Anabel... THIS ROUND IS FOR ME! So I decided to be a rat ass bitch and tell Matt his name was going around. Will this fuck me over next round? Absolutely. Do I care? A lot. Will I regret taking out someone who I see has no benefit to me? NOPE. The way Lorelei and Chris O went about this round rubbed me the wrong way. Chris let me know Matt's name was going around but refused to give me ANY of the details. That just proves to me he does not trust me one bit. Lorelei straight up lied to me so homegirl NEEDS TO GO. Anabel had some genius plan on getting Stoner out (YASSSSSSS). But she didn't listen to me... and told Chris O aka: basically telling Stoner. It obviously got back to Stoner which caused chaos. However, it proved to me that sooo many people are close and exposed relationships. I was able to convince Anabel/Trent to do Lorelei which I hope will work? I don't know. All I know if Lorelei dies in this game I'll be happy. There's only room for one girl from Montréal here :$
OWEN
I have to just make a decision and move forward. After talking to Trent, I think I've decided to do Matt tonight. I feel confident that Trent could be an ally for me. Stoner, Chris O, and Lorelei are all really solid alliances to me right now as well, more than I feel with Michael. I know I'm burning Jess and Olivia and I don't really know what to say to them after. I'm feeling guilty as fuck right now, I wish I didnt put myself in this position. But it's a game, and for me right now, Lorelei is someone I want to go really far with. If they had picked Anabel maybe it would be a different story... Idk. This could still blow up in my face and send me out and honestly??? I'm so exhausted from the last 10 hours i prob wouldnt mind mmmmm ive finally fucking snappt and it's time to follow thru the crazy xo
OLIVIA
Listen, could I technically go to tribal? Yeah but after the damage my anxiety did to me at the last one imma just sit back and let the texts roll in while I do tranquility dot to do puzzles
0 notes
Did Chaka Khan tape lyrics to her fan for performance at Aretha Franklin's funeral?
Tumblr media
Singer Chaka Khan performs at the funeral service for Aretha Franklin at the Greater Grace Temple in Detroit, Aug. 31, 2018. (Photo: Reuters/Mike Segar)
Chaka Khan might not use her fan just to keep cool under pressure.
The singer performed gospel classic “Goin’ Up Yonder” at Aretha Franklin’s funeral in Detroit on Friday, and she kept a big blue folding fan within sight the entire time. In fact, while she was singing, a few eagle-eyed viewers caught her looking at the back of her fan as if she were reading from it. Her frequent and obvious glances at the fan have led some to believe she had the lyrics to the song on the back of it.
People are speculating about the fan’s purpose on social media.
Chaka Khan got the lyrics in the back of her fan!!!!!!! Lmaoooo
— Sazón Goya Lomacang (@Jaylittlelisa) August 31, 2018
I’m sooooooooooo tickled by Chaka Khan reading her lyrics on this fan! But she’s in GREAT voice today! Doing her good singing! #AreathaHomegoing #ChakaKhan
— Jawn Murray (@JawnMurray) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan has the lyrics taped to the fan… #ArethaHomegoing
— Natasha Rothwell (@natasharothwell) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan thinks she's slick…we see those lyrics behind that huge fan! #ArethaHomegoing #ArethaFranklinHomegoing #ArethaFranklinFuneral
— Candace (@General_Candace) August 31, 2018
I see you reading the lyrics Ms Chaka Khan #ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/65bdCWSEth
— Jerri Peal (@jerri_peal) August 31, 2018
LMFAAAAOO no chaka khan did not have the lyrics behind that fan!
— fvmous. (@tahjaay) August 31, 2018
#ArethaHomegoing Chaka Khan with the lyrics to Going up to Yonder taped to the back of her fan. She should of picked a song she already knew. pic.twitter.com/trd0ppgIYP
— Michelle Langston (@chellelang44) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan got the lyrics on her fan #ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/ooc1jla6u2
— Jewel (@jewelchristi_) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan has the lyrics taped to the back of her fan at #ArethaHomegoing. I absolutely cannot. pic.twitter.com/oALMRuEaN1
— omri (@Omri_Rawrlan) August 31, 2018
Did Chaka Khan just read the lyrics from the back of her fan #ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/otKMAOEErs
— Tyquana (@TyChantelle) August 31, 2018
While Twitter users think the icon looked obvious and unprepared, others are commending her for the clever idea (if she did have ulterior motives with her statement accessory).
Chaka Khan with the lyrics in her fan lol genius! #ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/YxufgVaz9u
— David Lamar (@ImDavidLamar) August 31, 2018
Y'all Chaka Khan has a lyrics sheet in her fan and I respect that #ArethaHomegoing
— Toya L (@ToyaLark) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan has the lyrics on a fan. She is an ageless genius.
— Maggie Hendricks (@maggiehendricks) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan I peep the lyrics on the inside of your fan but I ain’t mad at ya!! #ArethaHomegoing #chakakhan pic.twitter.com/iT2z7pKA4D
— Joyce Brewer (@MommyTalkShow) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan with the lyrics on the inside of her fan is divadom and professionalism at it finest. #ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/5iI89XyRBK
— ejk (@kesseje) August 31, 2018
Some don’t understand how people are talking about anything but her performance.
When you gotta a voice like Chaka Khan, you ain't got to know the lyrics. #ArethaFrankinFuneral #ArethaHomegoing
— Afros and Jackson Five Nostrils (@i_noire) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan may have the song lyrics on her fan, though no one can deny that she is absolutely *belting* to the heavens on "Going Up Yonder."
WHEW. #ArethaHomegoing
— Derrick Clifton (@DerrickClifton) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan may be reading the lyrics off of the back of her fan but Lord knows she is SANGING! @ChakaKhan
— NeCe (@nece98) August 31, 2018
I'll take Chaka Khan getting her lyrics off a teleprompter than any of these Autotune wannabes!!
SING FOR YOUR FRIEND!!!#ArethaFranklinHomegoing
— Triple♚Crown♔ByLine♚🥅🏒 (@TCByLine) August 31, 2018
I can’t believe Chaka Khan taped the lyrics to her fan. 🙄 but her voice will always make up for that. 🙌🏽💯 #AreathaHomegoing
— Sarah 💋💄🌹🐝 (@miss_flawless4) August 31, 2018
Lmaooo why Chaka Khan tape the lyrics to her fan though 😂😂😭 She still killed it
— • (@TheVokality) August 31, 2018
Chaka Khan has her lyrics on the back of that fan like she afraid of failing the midterm 😂😂😂 None the less, ICONIC.#ArethaHomegoing pic.twitter.com/6ZrCQadjOF
— Zackery Alexzander Stephens (@ZackeryAStephen) August 31, 2018
Y'all forgot about them lyrics on that fan when Chaka Khan went up 1000 octaves! pic.twitter.com/4GJSJA6F5q
— Danielle Harr (@freespirit74) August 31, 2018
But many have pointed out that viewers should just appreciate that she’s up there at all.
Listeeeennnnnn stop worrying about whether Chaka Khan has the lyrics taped to the fan (she does), be happy that she has been able to make up on that state and she belting out legendary vocals that will still put these contemporaries to shame. #ArethaHomegoing
— Ernest Owens (@MrErnestOwens) August 31, 2018
Sure, Chaka Khan had her lyric sheet taped to the back of her fan while she sang.
But that most likely means she's having memory problems, that she's aware of it, & that she still paid tribute anyway.
That has to be humbling. And it requires bravery.#ArethaFranklinHomegoing
— Litsa Dremousis (@LitsaDremousis) August 31, 2018
Mick Jagger is also known 2 forget lyrics & have cue sheets. Memory problems suck because one feels demeaned somehow, & humbled. But as a musician, I don't think bravery is so much the case here 4 Chaka Khan as was pride do be a part of the program! I'd do it too & so would you.
— Dorian Rudnytsky (@JABat49) August 31, 2018
Anything for the Queen of Soul.
Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle:
Fans demand USPS honor Aretha Franklin with postage stamp after suggestion at funeral
Loved ones pay tribute beautifully to Aretha Franklin: ‘She was aware that her final days were near’
Twitter roasts Faith Hill’s Aretha Franklin funeral performance
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day.
0 notes
barelymelinda · 7 years
Text
Strictly Ballroom
My friend Dazzler is a stripper. She used to live the corporate bullshit lifestyle, but then she got wise. Now she’s making almost 6 figures working 4 days a week. In her spare time, she teaches at Stripper School. Pole dancing for exercise is all the rage now. All the celebrities are doing it, don’t you know?
It wasn’t difficult for her to talk me into taking one of her classes. Especially since she never made me pay.
But also because I love dancing, in all its forms. And striptease is a sensual and seductive art form. And very athletic. It takes a whole lot of upper body strength to wield yourself on a vertical pole.
Of course, my favorite form of dance is ballet. What little girl didn’t want to be a ballerina? The graceful fluid movements, the extraordinary muscle control, the beautiful costumes. But alas, I was not granted the opportunity as a child and you pretty much have to start when you’re born. So that dream would never be a reality.
The next runner up was Ballroom. You can start that at any age.
And so, when I was 24, (before the Brat entered my orbit) I saw an ad in the local free artsy fartsy paper.
Join the exciting world of ballroom! Learn to be an instructor in 6 weeks!
It made my heart pound out of my chest and into my throat. Someone could pay me to dance! I choked down my intense anxiety and infinite fear and made the call.
The next day, I went in for the interview/audition and was given a chance on the spot.
But, there was a rub… It was a fulltime gig with ZERO pay. That meant I would have to quit my day job at the bank, give up my steady paycheck and health insurance. But I was getting free ballroom lessons! I mean, that’s an even trade, right?
This wasn’t the first time I gave up a full-time job to do something for nothing. I think I was still working at Bread and Goods when I saw an ad in the same artsy fartsy rag that said:
Do you care about the environment? Then come work for Greenpeace! You can earn up to $500 a week!
Wow! $500 a week to save the environment? Where do I sign up!?
Of course it turned to be a commission only gig, riding around the elite neighborhoods in a van full of patchouli smelling hippies. They would drop us off in teams to canvas the neighborhoods, begging for donations. I’m sure you can imagine how interested in saving the environment a community full of millionaires was.
So, the dance studio had been burned before by people who only signed up to get the free lessons, took the money and ran when the 6 weeks were up. So, I understood. It made sense. And, obviously, I didn’t care. I wanted to do it sooooooooooo badly that I would do it for free. And did do.
The glamour and the excitement were too much to bear. Everyone that worked there was beautiful and perfect. (I couldn’t imagine why they hired me. Scraping the bottom of the barrel, I guess) I loved every single thing about working in a dance studio, the hardwood floors, the chandeliers, the ballroom music, the beautiful people twirling around the floor, the wall of mirrors. Well, not so much the wall of mirrors. That would prove to be my undoing.
After a solid month of training at the main location, where I was dubbed “a Natural”, I was sent to a satellite location because the only male dancer there had just lost his partner.
So, now I was driving an extra half hour to a location that I knew nothing about to be surrounded by people I didn’t know. I had to leave my safety net, all the people I had trained with, the familiar…
When I got to the new studio, it was equally beautiful. But no one was especially interested in me. The boss was the disgruntled, black sheep son of the owner. Number #1 son was a champion cabaret dancer, many times over. This son was a grumpy troll who hated his life. Awesome.
Aside from the troll, there was the troll’s lovely wife (I can’t imagine how he got her), their lovely little toddler and my future asshole dance partner, Dud. That’s it.
They took very little notice of me from day one. Dud spent all his time practicing with Troll’s wife. As for me, I was instructed to stand in front of the mirror all day and dance with myself. NOW, if you have any self-confidence issues at all, dancing in front of a mirror by and with yourself, all day, in a room full of professional dancers, when you aren’t at all confident about your new found skills, is TORTURE.
So one day, as I am dying of shame and embarrassment, Troll walks up to me and says:
“Do you think you’re pretty?”
The room cleared out.
I swallowed hard and said “No.”
“You had pretty bad acne as a kid, didn’t you? I can tell by your scars.”
Is this going somewhere? Or do you just want me to kill myself right here, right now?
People always felt free to point out my skin issues, like it’s an open forum. Old people especially. “You should wash your face with lye soap.” “You should drink baking soda every day.” “You should use sulfur.” “You should have a chemical peel.” You should all fuck off.
He continued berating me; asking me if I cared about anything, if I had any goals. I had no idea what his point was, unless he was trying to make me quit.
Which, I did. I left that night, heartbroken, and I never went back.
But that was a hundred years ago. And now, I am embracing my inner sex kitten as I sexy crawl across the floor towards the pole, whipping my mane in the air like a wild animal. I am woman. Hear me roar.
0 notes
Text
Jimmy & Janis
Jimmy: How'd I do? Your nan gonna give me another slap or shout me a drink next I see her? 😂 Janis: Well, I personally reckon you did alright but she's a harder woman to please Janis: I think you're outta the attack on sight group though so 👍 not bad for a night's work, lad Janis: How are you faring, I lost you in the crowd at several points so I'm dreading thinking who said what tbh Jimmy: 💪🏆😎🍻 Jimmy: Glad I had my bad boy shades, don't think I've been snapped so much in my life Jimmy: And at one point we basically had paps being so #goals Jimmy: but the insults were too slurred and 🇮🇪 to pack as much punch as you or your nan like Janis: mmblockoutthehaters Janis: not a fan of being the other side of the lens then, no? 😜 now you see my struggle, in all the ways 🙄 Janis: Yeah, they were on fine form, like Janis: Not Grace though, don't you think? Something's up and its not just date envy Jimmy: shut up you're sooooooooooo about being my muse Jimmy: yeah it was a good night all round, cheers Jimmy: it'll be drama with the flat whites or fuck boy. Lot of dumping done, wasn't it? Jimmy: Mia alone is a lot to get out of your mind 🎻 Janis: Suuuuure 😏 well, all the extra exercise with Twix is no doubt benefitting my grade in Sports so Janis: Owe ya one, don't I? Janis: Though reckon you just settlin' cos my actual model sister would charge you a fee, like Janis: More fucking fool me, ay? 😕😉 Janis: 👍 not too bruised? Janis: not just chattin' 'bout ya ego Janis: Probably right, yeah, it'll be Mia...I don't think she was that arsed about Harry, though she acted it Jimmy: I'd have to get in line, Twix'd never let me have first dibs collecting that debt Jimmy: I don't know what's more of a headwrecker that your sister is a proper model or that she's the only one #geneticsgamestronginyourgaff Jimmy: Still angling to get a pair of kicks off me? Take it up with 🎅 I did my bit on the 🎁 front 🤞 Jimmy: You better not be chatting that 😎 selectively remembering only your wins again, are you? Jimmy: Bet she's devo about Tammy #relatable 😂 Jimmy: what a giant hole in our lives Janis: She's 🥇 Janis: No matter what hype you're on Janis: True we're #blessed but don't let me catch you commenting on it again, IRL or on the 'gram Janis: I'll have to become that bitch and I don't think I've got the time tbh Janis: 🤐 nope, no complaints here, for the big man or yourself, like Janis: Hmm? I suddenly can't recall, maybe 'cos that useless bint next to us practically brained me when her club flew away from her Janis: Looks like you'll have to schedule a rematch if you wanna be covered in glory 🤷 Janis: Poor Lurch...who's the real loser here? Being such with bulllyimia Jimmy: Done and done Jimmy: Can't win 'em all...oh Tammy I thought we had something proper special babe Jimmy: what you doing today? Ready to take on the challenge any time you wanna lay it down Janis: So did she! But you will insist on bouncin' onto the next one, like 😉 Janis: make up your mind, Jimothy Janis: I'm wallowing in my pit currently...avoiding any fad diets and weird exercise regimes being implemented and spring cleaning and yet more leftovers curry Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 😎💪 Jimmy: I envy that Jimmy: any suggestions for a film that me, Bobbin and Cass can sit through? I'm drawing a blank on an animated musical with violent themes rn like Janis: You wouldn't if you could smell me Janis: Sexayyy Janis: Hmm Janis: There's that one where all the dinosaurs die at the end? Right, they probably throw out the odd tune too Janis: I'd say Lion King fits the spec actually but don't wanna start their year off with a heaping dose of trauma Jimmy: With you there Jimmy: Fuck it I'm sticking Mulan on and shutting their gobs with sweets Janis: That'll do it 👍 no one gives a shit if the bad guy gets it in the neck Janis: especially not from a sassy lady #feminism101withgracieguru Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: she was really cracking out the nye vids #content Jimmy: silver lining of the 💔 a good GRWT Janis: Gotta show 'em what they're missing, or whatever Janis: Think Mia had a party at hers, purely so Grace couldn't come Janis: hostess with the mostest she ain't Janis: Devvo there wasn't another shit party for us to ruin tho, obvs Jimmy: school is still days away we've got time Janis: don't tempt fate, mate Janis: you've not got the 🍀 Janis: don't think my bro or the garda can handle it Janis: fuck knows where he is, still a no-show Janis: s'my job, like Jimmy: Maybe he's with my MIA pops Jimmy: weird one that'd be Jimmy: I did think he might have a new missus, but that's going a bit far like Janis: Both in the drunk tank, for their sins Janis: Maybe, Christmas wishes and all that Janis: Could find the time to give you a bell still Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Wanna come over and walk the 🐶 ? Cass and Bobby'll be as 🤢 as I imagine you are polishing off this lot Jimmy: Can't count it as weird fad often as we're out Janis: Alright, save 'em from themselves Janis: and you from losing your mind 😵 Janis: not long 'til school now, save your wishes for that like the other single mums Jimmy: Done. Jimmy: Bring Gracie if you can find her, she'll have no secrets after 10 mins with them two Janis: I have the distinct impression she's avoiding me, which is weird, 'cos pretty sure I've said worse and been forgiven quicker, like... Janis: but maybe if I tell her her fave barista boy is there she'll come out to play? Janis: we've got a load of leftover sparklers, I'll bring 'em, so make sure they've got their gloves on Jimmy: 😮 maybe its her ny resolution Jimmy: 💪😎 guaranteed Jimmy: They'll be your besties then at least Janis: Yeah, guess she's sticking to all her promises this time, she's done with me forreal, at least 'til midway through the month, like Janis: 🎻 Janis: I'll bell her but no promises you'll get your fave twin Janis: who doesn't love shiny things? bet there's some bones for Twix too, what a 🏆 I am Janis: if there was any doubt left in your mind Jimmy: 😍 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Oh, looks like she's at the gym Janis: thanks insta Janis: I'll leave it then Jimmy: Yeah, can't promise a decent work out, hyped as Twix is Jimmy: make do with you then, won't I Janis: Looks like it, pal Janis: Unlucky Jimmy: I'm well gutted, mate Janis: Better take it up with someone who gives a fuck 😜 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: the dog is enraptured, thanks for the tip Janis: Stop yapping and get to moving then! Janis: I've gotta shower, its that serious Janis: let me live, boy, ugh Jimmy: [Sends a pic of him being kissed to death by Twix] Jimmy: you ain't that special, mate Janis: Ouch Janis: 🔪💔 Janis: double betrayal Jimmy: #hookedherwithmysobstory Jimmy: you did yourself over with the good advice Janis: always the way Janis: too smart for me own good Janis: i'll get back on the shelf, like Jimmy: speaking of should we take the oldies dog for them? I'd naturally be buzzing to see your nan again Janis: see, knew you loved it really Janis: worse than my sister Janis: but it is a point Janis: probably chewing through the walls as we speak Jimmy: #relatable Cass is much the same Jimmy: I better start penning my pops a note, more pages for him to have to read the better 😜 Jimmy: might stop at 5 sides if he bothers to reply to my texts like Janis: wondered what bit you was referring to there...like surely she's not wasting her time with boys already?! but gotcha Janis: phew Janis: that'd be a whole saga to try and put on a post-it Jimmy: Dad would love that, two of us out from under his feet Jimmy: Marry Bobs off if he could 😂 Jimmy: but nah she's only 😍 for Twix same as you Janis: its a real shame the gov ain't on his side for that one Janis: the travellers do it, and they all turn out FINE, geez Janis: think your Da would be obligated to at least provide you all with your own caravan though Janis: no escaping fatherhood, eh? Jimmy: 👍 stuff of dreams there Jimmy: I am about a decent caravan though Jimmy: same goes for the others, always asking me when we going back Skerries Jimmy: steady on kids that shit's still #raw Janis: Awks..that's a holiday romance for you, lads, gotta make it a one-way ticket, no returns 😂 Janis: Maybe by Easter hols you'll be able to show your face 'round there again Janis: Weather would be better too Jimmy: Funny Jimmy: But yeah #fullofgoodideasyou Janis: full of something, has been said 😎 Janis: gotta gee myself up to see that bath again 'neway, been strictly cold showers since, like 😉 Jimmy: 😏 new year, new you though so Jimmy: #yougotthis Janis: can't say 'make more of a prick of yaself in 2039' was high on my resolution list, soz about it Janis: know how much you enjoy it 🙈 Jimmy: Damn Jimmy: I was down for the challenge if you were 😜 Janis: 😳 Janis: always a fool for you, boo Jimmy: 💕 cute Janis: 🖕 do it all for the 'gram Janis: still hate u Jimmy: 💋 Jimmy: same mate, same Janis: i feel it Janis: how long can we keep this charade going, like? 🤔 Jimmy: Gotta stretch it out 'til v-day naturally Jimmy: in it for the 🎁 Jimmy: in that spirit you want me to pick you up or you gonna walk to ours when you're ready? Janis: or the next, steak and blowjob day Janis: I see you boy Janis: that said, if we eating steak and all the love-heart shaped confectionery, I better walk it 💪 Janis: this is clearly why people always get fat when they're loved up Janis: not saying weigh your Dad for proof when he finally arrives but Janis was timed out 18 hours ago Jimmy: not saying we've got one realistically Jimmy: How good's your guestimation skills? Could feel another 🏆 coming on Janis: FUCCCCCCCCCCCK Jimmy: ???? Jimmy: you okay mate?
0 notes