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the-owl-house-takes · 8 months

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I absolutely hate the argument that Luz can be excused for her actions and people have no right to dislike her just because she’s neurodivergent. I struggled immensely in school both academically and socially in large to my own “neurodivergence”-can I just say I hate that word-but I was never so stupid as to think about bringing live animals and fireworks inside my school. The fact that Luz, the 14-year-old daughter of a veterinarian, saw a bunch of living, breathing animals and thought-‘yeah, I’m gonna use those as props! My book report is gonna be so cool! I surely can’t just use rubber snakes!’ Which probably why they were so damn aggressive! Because snakes only really bite and attack when they’re threatened, or stressed, or pissed off! Which really does not paint Luz as being a very caring or thoughtful person!

“But that’s the point! She needs to get better and she does!”-No she absolutely fucking does not. Instead of realizing that she can’t just run away and live in fantasy-land, the show again and again reaffirms that Luz can do no wrong, everybody else never should’ve felt angry about her reckless idiocy-because that’s what it is, idiocy-she gets to live out her little fantasy world and do whatever she wants. The way the show acts like the principal giving the summer camp pamphlet was some horrible evil thing, how could anyone do that? B I T CH LUZ IS FUCKING LUCKY that she weren’t expelled or arrested! She brought EXPLOSIVES WITH THE INTENT OF SETTING THEM OFF INSIDE A SCHOOL BUILDING. In an area of mass shoring fears and schools prohibiting anything can looks like or emulates(even if it is just a foam sword or something), Luz really should’ve just taken two seconds to think to at least leave the fireworks. Course at 14 I would think that a person who have the common sense for that to never be a thought.

And no, “neurodivergence” is not an excuse. It pains me when characters in media doing stupid shit and senseless(especially when it gets on the audience’s nerves) gets pinned on having autism or ADHD like it makes it okay, and that the character can’t be blamed or held accountable for it. Why do people hold those with these conditions to such low standards? When this happens, it feels like people are saying, “Yeah, this could’ve easily caused grievous bodily harm or death but they’ve got anxiety and autism, so we can’t be mad, they couldn’t possibly know better because they’re simply not on our level, they’re too stupid to understand!” Hell no. Stop giving excuses! The “I’m literally neurodivergent and a minor” attitude does not work in court!

And maybe if they understood this and actually challenged Luz on being very episodic on learning her lessons and that she did in fact run away to avoid consequences of her actions and reality won’t bend to her interests and she can’t treat everything like it’s a fanfiction instead of beating the dead horse with another dead horse about how Luz ““““helped”””” Belos when all she did was teach him one glyph and got used as bait by someone who she KNOWS tricked her. By that logic Lilith is just as responsible for Belos meeting the Collector as Luz is. Yeah she’s 14 but did it really have to stretch through the entirety of season 3?

Because season 3 is where I officially knew that Luz hadn’t learned a thing. The way the show frames the art teacher giving Luz the side eye like it’s wrong for her to distrust the kid who used the art supplies-that she probably paid out of pocket for-to infest the school with spiders and snakes and then would’ve blown it up if she hadn’t gotten sent to the principal’s office is so out of pocket. She has every right to view Luz with suspicion! People don’t tend to like others who make a mess in their areas with their stuff, shocker. I’ve already said a bit about the summer camp thing, but seriously, a summer camp that teaches teens about mortgages, how to manage a bank account and checkbook, do taxes, etc is literally the best thing Luz could’ve gotten out of that situation. She would’ve learned something many people complain wasn’t taught to them at a young age AND would’ve met people who she could easily befriended. Yeah, it’s boring and Luz probably would’ve checked out of the situation but it’s better than juvie! Also boring stuff is apart of life, it’s part of the way we can live the way we do because everything is easier said than done. Also with Camila, it’s a dumb retcon to have her not understand anime or Luz’s interests in Season 1 and 2 but a secret nerd who just got put down by the man in season 3. Like, Camila had to make a change with Luz, because 14 is not far from 18, and if Luz did do something stupid that ended up being a crime, she could very well be charged as an adult.

Then the whole ‘I just wanna be understood!’ Luz, honey, you’ve been surrounded by people who understand you and don’t get mad when you mess up, even if it’s spectacularly. Your girlfriend literally immediately told you she essentially wanted to spend the rest of her life by your side right after you got revealed as a liar which you promised you wouldn’t do anymore. Your best buds have always been on your side even when you’ve gone behind their backs. Your mom was sending you to that camp bc she had too, even though she originally believed it would expose you to kids with similar interests that could be befriended. And again, her hands were tied, because you were being reckless to the point of danger. But oh wait, it’s all okay now because you’re ‘understood’.

Not finding that happy balance where you can express yourself but not act like an idiot or endanger yourself and others, just some vague ‘understanding’ by an anonymous ‘them’. Do you mean everyone, all the time has to understand you the way Camila, Eda, King, Willow, Gus, Amity and Hunter do? Because that’s not how real life works.

And this isn’t a character hate-though I do hate the way Luz was finished-this is on the writers for not going through with the themes of Fantasy Vs. Reality they had going that could’ve taught Luz that balance and management; which in my personal opinion, would’ve been a better arc for a person with ADHD.

#the owl house #toh #character hate #toh critical #long post #I know anon said that this isn’t character hate #but cmon….

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cherrybeartoast · 5 months

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As Loved by The Aces - "Going Home" - Seungmin x Reader

୨୧ a Cherry Song Series ୨୧ As Loved By The Aces Series Navigation

A series of individual-member centred stories based on songs by my favourite indie band, The Aces, portraying different love stories, emotions and people.

Pairing: Seungmin x GN!Reader

Genre: Fluff, very sappy, incredibly self-indulgent (I'm not sorry, ever since I got Seung's Nylon mag I've been having the most uncontrollable Minnie brainrot)

Warnings: Kind of implied that the reader has ADHD, but can also be read as a reader who simply has a super bubbly, slightly chaotic personality <3 (did I mention this was self indulgent?)

Series playlist: Spotify

★ Track 7: S.M - Going Home

I love everything about you, you know, even all of the the things you say you don’t like, nothing I don’t like, I love that you never pretend with me, even from the start you taught me to be, nothing but me

“What are we even here for?” Seungmin asked, feigning annoyance as you roamed aimlessly through the aisles of the supermarket.

“I don’t remember,” you replied, wandering into the haircare aisle.

Seungmin huffed, although you didn’t miss the soft smile on his lips before he did so. “That’s why I told you to write a list or something, baby, you always forget.”

When Seungmin had introduced you to his friends, they’d been expecting someone scholarly, quiet and well-organised; essentially, a second Seungmin. “Did you meet her in the library?” Hyunjin had teased. “No, in the stationary section looking at notebooks!” Jeongin had snorted.

However, when you proved to be almost as chaotic, if not more, than Han Jisung himself, they’d been surprised, albeit happily. You couldn’t be more different from Seungmin; you were very physically affectionate, and had no troubles expressing your emotions through words. You were forgetful, yet refused to take actions to prevent it. You were sporadic and inconsistent, planning things last minute and taking your boyfriend on adventures on a whim. It had taken Seungmin time to get used to you when you first met as friends, but he soon found himself drawn to your confidence and chaos. You were a bit all over the place, yes, but you were his, and you found he helped contain the unhelpful aspects of your personality, such as struggles to focus and just generally get shit done, whilst you brought out the louder, gigglier side of him.

“Oh well,” you chuckled and shrugged, pulling out bottles of shampoo and examining the labels closely. “Ooh, this one’s on sale, Seung! Maybe I should try it, your big sister told me it was really good.”

Seungmin took the bottle out of your hand and placed it back on the shelf. “No,” he said stubbornly.

“Excuse me, Kim Seungmin?” You raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms across your chest. “I think I’m allowed to select my own shampoo brand.”

Seungmin rolled his eyes. “You wouldn’t smell the same, stupid. I like the one you use now. It’s nice.” He pulled you close and shoved his face into your hair to prove his point, and you giggled and smacked his arm lightly.

“What a sappy baby,” you tsked, pinching his cheek and grabbing two bottles of your usual shampoo and conditioner.

“Is that everything?”

“I just want to look around, Seung, then I’ll remember,” you pushed the trolley happily, skipping a little.

“Baby, we’ve been looking around for like twenty minutes. It’s gonna get dark soon, and it’s already snowing outside.” Seungmin gestured out the big windows, where flecks of snow drifted through the wind, dusting the cars parked outside, including yours, like icing sugar.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you huffed, picking up your two bottles and returning your trolley, and he shook his head. You squealed as he scooped you up, staggering along to the cashier.

He deposited you, and you paid for your items, then ran outside, almost slipping on the icy tarmac.

“It’s so pretty,” you gasped, squeaking as a snowflake landed on your nose and another melted down your cheek. “It’s very cold, though. Can we get inside, Seung?”

He nodded and opened the car, and you bundled yourself into the passenger seat, shivering as he turned the heater on.

“Dramatic, much,” he chuckled fondly, starting the engine.

“Shut up, I’m so cold,” you hissed through your teeth, blowing on your hands. “Hey, stop that, turn the car off.”

“That’ll turn the heater off,” Seungmin stated.

“I don’t care.”

“Where the fuck is your logic, baby?” Seungmin laughed.

You shook your head and dragged yourself over the console, planting yourself onto his lap. His cheeks flushed a little and he took the keys out, his arms moving to your waist automatically.

“You’re really warm, Seung,” you mumbled into his shoulder, wrapping your arms around his neck. “You’re always so warm, like, you just make me feel so cosy and soft and fluffy and gross.”

“Gross? Excuse me?”

“In a good way. I feel so sappy and lovey-dovey when I’m with you. I disgust myself. If I saw a couple acting like this in public, I’d be like, ew, that’s so weird, but I love acting like that with you. It doesn’t feel cliche or weird. It feels right.”

“Oh, baby.”

“Shush. You’re gonna make me blush.”

Seungmin lifted your head off his shoulder. “You already are, idiot.”

You slapped his cheek lightly. “Fuck off. It’s your turn to be overly sappy with your feelings now, Seung.”

Seungmin took a deep breath. “When I first got with you, all the guys were so surprised, because you’re so different to me. And when they were surprised, it made me nervous, because I trust them so much, though you better not tell them that, or they won’t shut up about it. Then Chan told me he hadn’t seen me act so carefree, so happy around anyone like this in a long, long time. He said he thought you were so good for me, you brought out parts of me he missed seeing.”

You stared into his eyes, biting back a smile.

“And it’s true. I’ve never really felt this happy around anyone before. I worry less, and when I worry, it's less about myself. Because I know you don’t care about the things I worry about myself; like my appearance, or my personality. You just love me. And I’ve never been loved like that before.”

“You went way sappier than I did, loverboy,” you giggled, but pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. “I love you so much, and it makes me happy that I make you as happy as you make me. You’re mine, yeah, Seung?”

“Always,” Seungmin pressed his nose to yours, then wrapped his arms around you tighter.

You sat, in the front seat of your car, in the supermarket parking lot, bodies entwined.

Sure, you should be getting home, but you weren’t in a rush.

Wherever he was, he was your home.

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spacelazarwolf · 1 year

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making a separate post but like. i don’t think some of y’all understand how genuinely traumatizing it is to have undiagnosed (or even diagnosed) adhd and go through school as the lazy stupid kid. i’ll tell you a little bit about what school looked like for me.

when i was in second grade, my teacher used to drag my desk up to the front of the class in the middle of lessons if i tapped my pencil or bounced my knee. she wouldn’t let me talk to any of my friends, and wouldn’t let me read my books when i was done with my assignments and was waiting for everyone else to finish. she would berate me in front of the whole class until i cried. her treatment of me got so bad my parents had to pull me out of school.

when i was in fifth grade, my teacher gave out “assignment alerts”, bright orange pieces of paper that indicated you’d forgotten to turn in an assignment. i was given dozens of these papers, and they started to build up, so it was harder to hide them. she would give these out in front of everyone in the middle of class, and she always made sure that when it came to me everyone knew i had the most. she would mock me in front of my classmates for my inability to keep up with homework and said that because my test scores were good it was because i was just lazy and didn’t care.

when i was in seventh grade, my teachers made me come up to the front of the class at the beginning and end of the period so they could inspect my assignment book and sign it, in view of the rest of my classmates, and announce whether or not i’d done my homework. when i inevitably forgot about assignments, they would berate me in front of the class.

when i was in high school, i wasn’t allowed to try to test into higher level classes because my teachers had decided that even though i did well on tests and papers, i wasn’t intelligent enough to take them because i couldn’t keep track of my assignments and deadlines. I was told over and over again that i was just lazy, and anytime i tried to explain what i later learned were symptoms of adhd i was berated and told i was making excuses.

when i was in college, i failed two classes my first year because i couldn’t keep up with the deadlines. the day before my second year, my best friend died, and i stopped going to classes. my teachers didn’t connect the dots because they assumed based on the previous year that i was just lazy and didn’t care about school. i failed several classes that year and never got the mental health assistance i needed, and my reputation at the school was pretty much shot. one teacher even went out of his way to try and fail me because he didn’t believe i deserved a degree. he tried to claim i’d plagiarized one of my papers to put a mark on my transcript. luckily he didn’t or i may have had to drop out. i had to do an extra year to make up for all the classes i’d failed, and barely graduated.

i did end up dropping out of my attempted masters degree (the only school that would take me with such a low gpa, and the only school that offered no scholarships or assistantships) because all of the teachers refused to give me any sort of accommodations, noting my bad grades from undergrad. i was given no patience or grace, my disability was not respected, and i had to drop out.

these experiences (which are just a handful of many) were so traumatic that they gave me diagnosed ptsd. i’m almost 30 and i’m still in therapy learning to cope with the horrifying levels of self hatred, anxiety, and dysfunction that my academic experiences gave me. i’m still learning how to even begin to function and take care of myself after i was told for so long by people who were supposed to help and support me that i didn’t deserve to succeed.

i fully understand how stressful it is to mask your neurodivergence in order to succeed, and how that can affect your mental health. i understand the high levels of anxiety and dysfunction in former gifted kids. i get that, and i respect it. but i’m honestly so tired of ppl trying to say there’s no difference in that experience vs. mine. that someone who had a 4.0 all through high school and college and got a good job is just as materially affected as someone who couldn’t just push through, who couldn’t make it through higher education, who couldn’t graduate high school, who can’t hold a job at all.

these experiences are all valid but they are DIFFERENT. and when the only people i ever hear about when talking about adhd are the former gifted kids, it makes me feel so incredibly alone. and maybe if there were a greater variety of voices and experiences that were showcased, people like me wouldn’t feel so isolated and self-critical. maybe we’d realize that we deserve grace and kindness too, even if we didn’t get to be the gifted kids.

#adhd

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specialagentlokitty · 8 months

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Mr Bell x Student!reader - my support

So basically the reader got adhd and no of the teacher understand the reader adhd only mr bell does so if you got anything wrong you always go to see mr bell and you always getting into trouble and you always work out your lesson to go to mr bell office - Anon💜

You sighed as you listened to the teacher telling you off once again for getting all the answers on the worksheet wrong.

A few students snickered and they all watched you.

“Well, do you have any excuse for this?” She snapped at you.

“I thought it was something else…” you grumbled.

“This is math! You wrote the entire history of how Christmas originated!” She yelled.

“Well I know that now!” You huffed.

She shook her head and took your paper, tearing it in half, throwing it in the bin and she marched over, slamming another on the desk in front of you.

“Answer the MATH questions.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” You warned.

“Well, if you can’t do some simple question it’s no wonder you have the worst grades I’ve seen.”

And that was the final straw for you, standing up, you just walked out of the room.

You never brought a bag with you anyways, so you headed to your locker to get your drink, then you just wondered the hallways.

You debated what to do, but you didn’t want to get into any more trouble, and there was only one teacher who was able to help you. So you headed down the hallway.

Walking into the PE office, you found Mr Bell wasn’t there, so you simply sat down at his desk and began to look through everything until you found the tennis ball.

You spent the whole lesson sat there throwing the ball at the wall and watching it while you waited.

“I can hear you throwing that down the hallway (Y/N).”

You stopped, looking to the doorway.

He set the bag down and closed the door, leaning against the wall as he looked at you.

“Again? Really?”

“I can’t help it, sometimes they just.. they piss me off you know..?”

“Don’t swear, but I do understand. But you realise you can’t just keep walking out of all these situations (Y/N).” He sighed.

“I don’t know what else to do sir, if I don’t I might make it worse.”

He sighed a little, walking over to take a seat on his desk, picking up the tennis ball to throw to you so you could play catch.

“Well, we had a plan in place didn’t we?”

“I’m supposed to use my hall pass and asked someone to contact you or Mrs Carter.”

“Exactly, that way I can come get you, or Mrs Carter can take you somewhere to wait for me.”

You huffed a little and threw the ball as hard as you could against the wall.

“It’s not fair!” You snapped.

“Woah, okay.” He said sternly.

He got up and walked over, pulling a chair over so he could sit in front of you.

“I know it isn’t fair, but you can’t react like this. You’ll get yourself into more trouble.”

You quietly nodded your head.

“Remember when you feel angry or frustrated, don’t lash out, redirect it. Take a walk, scribble on some paper, whatever works for you as long as it isn’t shouting, swearing or throwing things.”

“Sorry sir…”

He smiled at you and raised his hand.

You gave him a high five and he leant back in his chair.

“How about we try something different.”

“What?”

“Boxing, I’ll train you after school, you can use it to work everything out, how does that sound?”

You thought about this for a moment.

You knew a lot of people turned to exercise or something similar to help them, and so far not much else was working for you.

So you nodded your head.

“Okay, I’ll try it yeah.”

“Awesome, come on then, we’ll get an early lunch and see Mrs Carter before she starts a manhunt for you.”

You laughed a little and followed him out of the office, jogging slightly ahead of him as you tried to slap the fire exit signs and tried to touch the ceilings.

Mr Bell chuckled as he watched you, this was the side of you many teachers didn’t see.

They saw you as disruptive and a lost cause, but if they took the time, they’d realise you were basically just a ball of energy who needed more engagement and more to do.

You were simply bored, and you needed some way to redirect all this energy you had to hold back

#ackley bridge #ackley bridge imagine #ackley bridge x reader #ackley bridge x you #mr bell #mr bell x reader #mr bell x you #mr bell imagine

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fairy-writes · 1 year

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>/////< (Super nervous that you did this before and my ADHD has just made me stupid - I even looked and I can't find it if you did do it....) Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez for Viktor from Arcane pretty pretty please (But if you have done it before, just ignore this! So sorry!)

UNTIL I FOUND YOU

Reblogs and Comments are greatly appreciated!!

__________________________________________________________________________

Fandom(s): Arcane: League of Legends (2021)

Pairing(s): Viktor x Gender Neutral!Reader

Song: Until I Found You by Stephen Sanchez

Notes: This song does use “her” in it, but this is a gender-neutral one-shot.

__________________________________________________________________________

The first time Viktor met you was when he was going through the Academy, not yet Heimerdinger’s assistant, but a mere TA, and you were a student from another class. It was in the dead of winter.

You were practicing a presentation in the library while he was grading papers. He spotted you out of the corner of his eye, mouthing the words to yourself as you paced in front of your textbooks, using flashcards as a prompt.

You were stunning.

Viktor didn’t realize he was staring until you looked over, met his gaze, smiled, and offered a sheepish wave. He quickly turned back to the papers in front of him with a quiet cough and burning ears. From the corner of his eye, he saw you chuckle quietly and found himself enjoying the sound of your laugh.

You approached him after Viktor finished his grading session, and almost everyone was long gone. He packed his books into his satchel, shuffling papers into an orderly pile.

“Excuse me?” Came your quiet voice, and he turned. You fidgeted with your flashcards, scuffing your feet along the carpet.

“Yes?” He asked just as softly. You offered him a small smile, and he felt his ears warm again.

“Could I help you with your books? It looked like you have a lot, and I’d hate for you to have to make a second trip when the library is closing.” You tried, and for whatever reason, he felt himself accepting.

You carried whatever books he couldn’t fit into his bag and walked beside him. He didn’t miss how you kept pace with him, his cane thumping on the ground slower than usual as the cold made his leg ache. The trip to his dorm was quiet, filled with gentle conversation as you asked him about his experience as a teacher’s assistant. He couldn’t bring himself to ask anything about you, even as you bid him goodbye outside his dorm room.

You were out of his league anyway.

Georgia, wrap me up in all your...

I want you, in my arms.

Oh, let me hold you

I'll never let you go again, like I did

Oh, I used to say

The second time he saw you was years later. This was after meeting Jayce and after founding Hextech. He hadn’t heard anything about you even as he became Heimerdinger’s assistant. He guessed he wouldn’t anyway. The Academy was so large and had so many students that it was impossible to find anything out about anyone unless he went to access school records.

Which he figured would be creepy, so he didn’t bother looking.

Meeting you was an accident, really. You hadn’t been looking where you were going and had tripped over a loose cobblestone brick. Out of reflex, Viktor had dropped his books and crutch and tried to catch you. Keyword being tried. His bad leg was unstable as it was without his crutch, so you just brought him down with you.

You looked at him in surprise, and he himself was surprised to see a glimmer of recognition as you helped him back to his feet and helped gather his books.

“Viktor?” You asked, and he nodded, whispering your own name. His heart stuttered when you smiled that smile he had dreamt about for so many years.

It was as beautiful as he remembered.

"I would never fall in love again, until I found her."

I said, "I would never fall, unless it's you I fall into."

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

I found you

He kept on running into you after that. It was a little bizarre, but he didn’t mind.

He found himself not minding whenever it came to you.

One day when you were walking the road to his lab, you asked him a question.

“Would you like to go to dinner with me?” You asked, and he actually stumbled, his crutch catching a cobblestone and threatening to send him sprawling. You let out an awkward squawk of surprise and grabbed his elbow, pulling him upright with a frantic “are you alright?!”

He coughs and fumbles with the crutch now safely placed under his arm. What would he even say? Lunch was for friends. You were friends, weren’t you? Wasn’t dinner for dates? Were you asking him on a date? You stand next to him, fiddling with your fingers and waiting for an answer.

He finds himself saying yes, and his heart nearly stops at your brilliant smile.

Georgia, pulled me in, I asked to...

Love her, once again.

You fell, I caught you.

I'll never let you go again, like I did

Oh, I used to say

Your dinner date (Was this truly a date? Was he going on a date? When was the last time he went on a date) was at a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant on the outskirts of Piltover. It wasn’t that far from his apartment, actually. Maybe that’s why you chose it, so he didn’t have to walk all over town.

You showed up after him, precisely on the dot of your agreed meeting time. You held a bouquet of blueish-purple flowers tied with a silky red ribbon. You spotted him and grinned, making your way over and offering him the small bundle of plants.

“I hope I didn’t keep you waiting long! These are for you.” You said sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck. He found himself smiling in return and hiding his embarrassment under the guise of sniffing the flowers.

"I would never fall in love again, until I found her."

I said, "I would never fall, unless it's you I fall into."

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

I found you

“What do they mean?” He asked once the two of you receive your food and are partway through the meal. You had done most of the talking, telling him about the lecture series you were creating to give to Noxus and Piltover if you had the chance. You looked up, confusion flitting across your pretty features before you realized what he was talking about.

“The flowers? They’re cornflowers. They symbolize hope.” You said quickly, averting your eyes when he raised an eyebrow.

“Hope for what?”

“Well… I was hoping you’d want to do this again.” You almost whispered, and his lungs spasmed. You wanted to see him again? He offered what he hoped was a charming smile.

“I’d like that.”

"I would never fall in love again, until I found her."

I said, "I would never fall, unless it's you I fall into."

I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her

I found you

#fairytailwzard 800 followers #arcane league of legends viktor #arcane league of legends #arcane viktor #arcane #viktor arcane #arcane viktor x you #viktor arcane x you #arcane viktor x reader #viktor arcane x reader #viktor x reader #league of legends #arcane: league of legends #viktor league of legends #league of legends viktor

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meviesdust · 6 months

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things i noticed while thoroughly rewatching d2

i found this in my notes from back in july 2022 and stand by it. mostly mevie, including core four, ben, ben & harry, umal exes & a hint of lonnie appreciation

- at the curl up n dye, not only did mal let evie have her moment with dizzy, but as soon as dizzy said it would make her so happy to know that evie is wearing something of hers in auradon, she stopped dead. she immediately looked at evie to check on her, she knew that statement would have an impact on her. as soon as she saw the heartbroken look, she put herself back into the convo . "e, we gotta go." then when dizzy left she took evies arm and guided her to the side. she let evie have a moment to get herself together. "she's gonna be okay." when she caught evie feeling bad again, she tapped her arm and took her arm, leading her away, starting an easy conversation so lighten the mood.

- after mal says "and i am, and will always be, the girl from the isle." her eyes water and when evie looks away she looks up so she doesnt cry. then she finds a distraction by pointing to the sign

- carlos and jay making fun of evie i cant do this . "you know how spontaneous she is bro" it starts off as an excuse but its pretty fucking accurate so jay just goes "right???" and i just know evie has done some stupid fucking shit before and the boys are annoying ass brothers but wbk

- no straight man grinds his way up the king .

- i'm looking at you harry

- bens into it

- "she's not my gf anymore" yeah ben u go . make sure ur pirate crush knows ur available

- ben is the definition of :]

- EVIES CARRYING MALS BAG FOR HER :(((((

- lonnie looks like a scary dog from the pound being held on a chain lead taking a few steps back growling ready to pounce on her enemies no i will not elaborate

- i also just decided that lonnie has adhd

- evie jay carlos and lonnie looking behind mal when shes saying the plan bc they know shes in a vulnerable position with her backturned and need to be aware of every movement . lonnie is glaring in a threatening manner and standing in a position that shows she means business . jays eyes are flickering between mal and the pirates, showing he's listening but still watching for any movements. carlos is looking straight into mal's eyes. theyre communicating via body movement. evie is angled closer to mal, she's there to protect if anyone lunges at mal and watching closely for any danger

- as soon as mal turns back, evie's stance soon relaxes. she rests her arms against the sides of the bridge knowing mal no longer needs protection

- evie leaping through the air behind mal doing her little dancy dance while everyone's fighting

- evie was the one who noticed dude. after carlos went "we're dead." she subtly leaned next to him and whispered in his ear, when mal looked back for help, that's when he nodded to dude. evie saved her gf whats new

- ben getting held off the plank: :] vs ben when uma finally gives him back: :0

- mal after pinning uma "you miss me?" oh u wanna kiss so bad .

- harry is using sword fighting as an excuse to flirt with every vk such a pansexual pirate

- evie vs her heels being her best and favourite weapon

- mal i am in love with you

- descendants vs having the hottest fucking characters

- ben you dont just compare ur gf to her worst enemy and ex gf like that someone get this man a book on dating

- jay and mal being the emotionally stunted ones of the group and it works bc they understand each other and even though they bicker they love each other immensely i'm gonna punch through a wall

- "so ur not seeing happys son or anyone else." ur girlfriend is gay

- id love to go to auradon prep . like imagine the drama dude like . omg did u hear the king serenaded the new vk girl while his gf watched and then asked her to the coronation AND THEN his now ex kissed charmings son in front of him . then the kings new girls mother crashed the coronation and new girl cried and killed her with the power of friendship but then she got sad and ran away and king ben got KIDNAPPED and then at cotillion he cheated on new girl with an octopus and then they fought in water and then they kissed and kings ex was jealous of new girl so she terrorised the kingdom and turned us to STONE

- MAL CHECKING ON EVIE BEFORE TURNING TO A DRAGON

- JAY AND CARLOS CATCHING BEN WHEN HE SLIPS ON DECK IM CRYING

- EVIE MAKING JOKES :( "just a little bit"

- mal tracing patterns on evies back <3

- i started this movie four hours ago this is what happens when someone with adhd watches descendants

#i cut some parts off for length #comfort movie #mevie #core four #mal bertha #carlos de vil #jay #evie grimhilde #king ben

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pricemarshfield · 11 days

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15 lines tag!

i was tagged by @gwynbleidd !! late because i Forgot so sorry jackie 😭 losing the fight against adhd lately

RULES: share 15 or fewer lines of dialogue from an OC, ideally lines that capture their character/personality/vibe. Bonus points for just using dialogue without other details about the scene, but you’re free to include those as well.

i tag anyone who’d like to talk about their ocs, but also @wretcheddthing (🫵 excuse to write venali GO!!!) @atrueneutral (i love your tav and am so curious what lines you think would sum her up, if you wanna share) and @pouralaura (would love to see more from eris, if you like!)

as always, no pressure if you don’t want to, and under the cut to avoid spam :) this is a long post bc i write dialogue more in paragraphs than in lines sorry. chose tav, helena (personal problem bea), aphrodite (all things end bea), and leta for this! if the format is bad I Tried tumblr post editor was fighting me every step of the way

tav khoury (bg3, tempest cleric of talos/college of lore bard) because she’s my darling. tried to use mostly lines from upcoming wips but a fair portion from talk because that whole fic is just yapping (and also smut but like. they don't shut up)

"Trust me." "No, not at all. But perhaps I would be open to negotiating. Though I’m sure that option is closed, now, and I’m rather disinclined to part with my soul. I’m already fighting to keep my mind intact, if you recall." "Perhaps I’m less generous than you." "To your credit, you were a real challenge." "And you are far more committed to the pretty words than I’d have liked." "And with a devil, trust is far less useful than clearly defined terms." "I won’t squander an advantage for vengeance alone." "You misunderstand me. Something like this suits me far better than abject submission." "I won't beg, but I'll otherwise be the perfect damsel for you for the rest of the night. You can have my simpering submission, my perfect, obsequious obedience, knowing you'll have earned none of it." "Any use I could make of the thing would force me into a precarious situation, and I’d rather utilize the reputation of a savior than a tyrant. Also, Lae’zel may kill me if I don’t find a way to get that hammer in her hands, and as I’ve said, I’m not stupid enough to steal from you." "Don't flatter me. It won't work." "If you're going to try to manipulate me, at least do a better job than the fucking Emperor. Honestly, I expect more from you." "My goodness, are you sure? And here I thought making a bet with a devil in his own boudoir was the pinnacle of good behavior. Really, Haarlep, I..." "The limit of what I can bear? I can take anything you throw at me." "Tempestuous, really."

helena hughes (these are all from personal problem and p much all from the early chapters because i am lazyyy and because that fic is 200k. also hi if you cared enough to read under the cut i am actually working on the next chapter it's like 15k rn)

"Oh, what snacks do you want? I'll make sure Lexi doesn't melt into the seat like the Wicked Witch of Applied Anthropology." "I mean, you're not my professor." "Knew you wanted a piece of me." "Maybe a fantasy or two." "Please kiss me back." "No, I know, thinking back it's really dumb and honestly, kind of mean? No, not kind of. It's mean. But it seemed like a good idea? And it was really hot." "She feels...real, you know? Like, completely outside of all this drama with the rankings and The T and Poppy." "—that was mostly to mess with Poppy—" "Were you jealous?" "I get that we have to keep things secret, I get that it's risky, but I want this and you want this, so what's the issue?" "Hey, how about you let me tell you what I want? I'm an adult, I can make my own decisions." "No. Just letting you know that, uh, I win. So sorry, but you were barely even competition." "I'm sure you'd have me doing far more hands-on work." "Are we gonna actually have sex, or are you guys gonna just talk about my underwear all night?" "You're the one who's obsessed with me."

aphrodite hughes (a couple of these lines are tweaked versions of the in-game ones but i didn't include anything i didn't think was changed enough to justify putting in here and calling at least kind of mine. the first one only the zinger at the end but it's SOOO aphrodite i had to include it)

"Who died, your dignity? Or is this some sort of repentance outfit Mommy and Daddy are making you wear for humiliating them at the Year End Gala? Sorry. Not Daddy." "I get that everyone on this campus is thirsty for gossip, but she's not my type, even if I was dumb enough to get involved with a professor. But nope, y'all are just making something out of nothing! If Belvoire loves anything, it's rumors, right?" "Poptart, just 'cause you're obsessed with me doesn't mean I want anything to do with you. Like I told you last year, you're not my type." "As for...what did you call Selene here? A walking, talking Billabong ad? Look at how cute she is. I think you're just jealous." "I didn't mean to, like, pressure you. You're just so fucking pretty, I'm..." "Hey, she's my girlfriend, back off." "But I wasn't seeing her, and I was able to convince her when i explained how limiting my ability to take classes when Belvoire has so few professors related to my major. Only had to mention lawyers once, and voila!" "Everyone else in the class can be boring or dumb as hell, and I know you're neither." "Wow, suuuuuch a good line." "Your stepdad's, you mean, your dad is a preschool teacher. Funny you forgot to mention it! Plus, isn't Piers' studio the one recasting Tinsley in the F is for Friends sequel?" "To be honest, I mostly just thought you were hot and I love how much of a shit-stirrer you are." "Are you being rude? Wait, forget I asked, that's as pointless a question as are you breathing or are your roots still showing." "You know, I was thinking of you the whole time." "You realize that the only shot you have is to embarrass yourself more than you already have, bitch. I can't believe you're getting a new job just to chase after someone who doesn't even want you." "—this isn't a catfight, but I am happy to oblige—"

leta brereton (SHAKING with the effort of not providing context for these ones honestly, since i haven't actually posted much about her yet but i do love her so much)

"Look, I get that we're not in the best place we could be, but if you ever get mad at me for keeping a child from being murdered again, I'll kill you before the tadpole can. Understood?" "I'm not bluffing, I am being dead fucking serious" "I really can't think of a single world in which I say no to that. Or, uh, to anything you ask, wow." "Ugh. Your god's justice seems lacking. Or devil's wrath, whichever." "Wyll, does your contract say anything about if someone who isn't you kills her? Because I would be really fucking happy to." "Would you get off my case? Just 'cause I don't approve of child murder doesn't mean I'll turn down gold." "I keep you around because you're fucking good at what you do, dickhead. And you make me laugh, sometimes. Shouldn't have said that, you're gonna be so fucking annoying about it." "Oh, fuck yes, yeah, I'm down. Shadowheart can heal me if it goes bad. Uh, or Withers if it goes really bad." "Trust you? Trust you?! You're lucky I don't end you right now!" "Shut up, jackass, I don't have to like you to keep you safe. You're one of ours, I'm one of yours. Long as that's true, you've got my axe." "What's the use of a wizard if he can't figure out a spell for me to be able to kiss you? No, stop, Gale, I'm joking—" "Uh. Sorry? Are you hitting on me? Wow. I mean, it's fine, I'm flattered, but, uh...why?" "Don't tell anyone. I'll be fine in a minute. I just want some quiet." "Hey. Are you actually alright with this? I can tell her I chickened out if you're not." "I...fine, but only because you've been way nicer than I'd—oh."

#oc: tav khoury #oc: helena hughes #oc: aphrodite hughes #oc: leta brereton #tag games

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inactive334884 · 2 years

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⚠️ Video Archives within the reblog⚠️

Concerning Amounts of Ableism within Helluva Boss.

After my last post, ive realized that Mooxie is oddly autism coded, and from “oddly” I mean that they gave him many treats that we (I am neurodivergent) have but at the same time shove in slurs and insults that are used towards people with autism, and worse of all, justify it without showing said character who are saying said ableism as wrong for saying it, but as “quirky” or “cute”. Its like making a character have tourettes just because you wanted to put sterotypes in a show against people with tourettes, except its with autism with how they called him “slow’, “smooth brain” and a “r***ard” multiple times, not “stupid”, but specifically chose slurs that are used against neurodivergent people.

They had ableism with this character MULTIPLE TIMES. This is legit discriminatory writing (I dont care who tells me “theyre in hell they bad people!” im not talking about the fictional characters, im talking about the REAL PEOPLE who wrote him to say those things to write ableism into their show, and in real life, are ok with said ableism. Otherwise, they wouldn’t have deliberately wrote terms that are used to mock those who have autism, not as a joke with a actual punchline (dark humor), but things that are done to mock people for having autism, using said character to mock people with said mental disorder (like how people use caricatures to show discriminatory messages towards their audience.) writing something like that because they just wanted to use their show to mock people for having said disorder.

I know people say “viv is racist she’s homophobic” with absolutely no evidence, and screw those people. But this is that one case wheres theres SO MANY SLURS and insults here in this show that are used against said minority group that it’s not bad representation done by accident, but borderline discrimination against those with said mental disorder on multiple occasions.

There’s a difference between writing a character that’s a jerk who’s called out on their actions or given karma for it, or says “silly” insults for a laugh, and writing certain things into the script of a show as an outlet for you, the writer, to have an excuse to show unnecessary hatred towards a minority group. Mooxie is even shown to hyperfixate and have special interests (guns, theatre, war history.) and social problems. It almost felt like they knew what they were doing, like they wanted to write him as autistic, not to represent us, but to use him as a punching bag to throw slurs and insults that are used on us into the script so they could have a place to write hatred towards people with autism and to spread said ableist messages to other people who share the same mindset.

One more thing: Before people say “But Viv has-” She has adhd, not autism. You do know that people with neurodivergence do have the ability to be ableist towards those with other disabilIties… right? Also, the person who wrote the “comedy” was Brandon Rodgers, a Youtuber who (as far as we know) is neurotypical and clearly tries very hard to be “edgy”, but as a result of said tryhard nature he tends to spread extremely toxic messages towards his audience that causes them to be ok with some of said behavior.

To the point where not long after Helluva’s Pilot was released (sorry, the screenshot was lost when my last computer had broke.) a fan called someone the r slur without hesitation, including a reference to the scene where they got the slur from, Helluva Boss. Along with another fan using it towards people who critique the show. This actually caused real life discrimination to happen. Just goes to show that yes: There is such a thing as “taking things too far” with dark humor, especially if it further causes discrimination towards a real life minority group due to it not being a joke involving them, but about how they are said group, or just for being from said group in general, which is still discrimination.

Ableism is not a joke, ableism is prejudice and causes people to get hurt emotionally, and physically no matter where its from, remember that whenever you see things like this being used against those with neurodivergency.

#helluva critical #hazbin critical #tw abliesm mentioned here

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thenobleclearlightbulb · 1 year

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I have a friend who found out a couple of years ago that her mom was told by a doctor that she likely has mild adhd and her mom never told her because she wasn’t going to get treated for it anyway. The reason her mom told her is because she mentioned that I asked if she thought I have adhd.

My friend is forgetful, will get a bit fixated on things, struggles to focus on exams, and used to run around a ton but not since elementary school, but she’s horrible at multitasking and is really slow at doing tasks/learning. She’s wrong but when she looks at me (who does task quickly and am great at multitasking because if my hearing, sight, and touch are not all being stimulated I shut down) she thinks she’s really bad. So, she’s denied that she has adhd and would say the doctor was wrong until the other day when her SO said he thinks she’ll be great in her new job because she “can do 6 tasks over 6hrs but not 1 task 6 times in 6 hrs”. She was talking about how true it was because 1 task gets boring and hard to focus on but if she’s rotating every 10-30 minutes then she never gets bored. I told her that was adhd and she got so excited that she actually did have it.

Moral of the story:

Adhd is different for everyone and don’t deny yours because it’s not the same as someone else’s. Everyone is struggling in their own way and don’t assume because for a person’s adhd looks beneficial that it actually is (I’ve got a ton of anxiety from overthinking everything, but I can finish things quickly because my mind moves fast. I can multitask very well, but I struggle whenever it’s quiet because my mind would rather think about the silence than the exam)

If you have a child that gets diagnosed with anything (adhd, asd, anxiety, bipolar, etc.) tell them. Even if they won’t be getting treatment because it’s mild, tell them. Even if you’re going to treat them like a neurotypical kid because that’s what society will do, tell them. It is very nice to know you’re not a failure, screw up, too sensitive, or stupid. It’s nice when something isn’t working for you that works for other people to know the reason why. They aren’t excuses (I force the kid with adhd to sit down for the 15 min before recess like everyone else because he needs to learn how to cope with sitting at appropriate times) but they are a comfort when you feel “wrong”

#adhd #long post #mild adhd #neurodivergent #she does do tasks quickly that she finds important #and she learns game mechanics really quickly #a lot of mental disorders have “super powers”#asd is “supposed” to mean you’re a genius #most people with them know that they will mostly just cause problems #with maybe a few benefits #the ones that find it incredibly useful to their field tend to be the exception not the norm #being neurodivergent/having a mental disorder does not mean you’re broken or enhanced #it just means you experience life differently from the majority of people

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nochiquinn · 2 years

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campaign 3 episode 32: braeuch

UGH twitch won't let me re-sub with prime until the 29th bc I missed the ONE DAY it was available

I have adhd, this is ableist

liam stop that

I always picture the aunt from coraline chiseling at the taffy bowl

letters is an scp

no dis a ssem ble

I've been making arcane gifs, so: sevika

cyborg ladies >

ah. family trauma.

"it was old" impossibly old. old as balls.

fcg whispers!

WhisperCam

orym

matt using this as an excuse to get a drink

"hold me"

Bad Cop

"we're level 7 and I wanna use it"

the way he paused after "it's been a while"

[sprays fcg with a water bottle] you! have! autonomy!

you are an AUTOMATON it is IN THE NAME kind of

this all hurts

laura inevitably giggling at "pussy"

not looking forward to "dancer is an irredeemable villain" takes

she's just. kind of a not-great person who is also facing probably the most traumatic event of their life? I wouldn't be at my kindest either

fcg :(

"you always do better when you talk" put me in the ground

weird steam-powered giraffe subunit

"you're always asking for more shopping"

somebody in chat said fcg makes the usb device noise when he swaps arm extensions and now it's all I can hear

it is now safe to remove your buzzsaw

travis did not prepare for this information

YES AND, BITCH

(I'm gonna have to hunt that down and make a gif)

"we're fucking at joe's?" "joe wants to fuck me?"

liam

"I didn't mean it like that" "yeah no sure you didn't"

this is how they get taken off twitch

"SAM. what's WRONG WITH YOU."

liam

…so he's rearranging fcg's guts

"only one thing looks purple in the whole world" the fandom trying to connect everything together

WOW

"delilaaaaah, make yourself usefuuuuul you stupid biiiitch"

she did not

sigrun's rune scars

(please read edda-earth)

I got distracted by tiktok (title of my autobiography) (that I didn't finish) (guess why)

the KAREN CULLING

"you cannot say words"

"where the FUCK is aeor"

"unchosen bits" folk pop band name

god time GOD TIME

does fcg become a changebringer cleric bc that would be cool

"guns for tiny monkey hands" is unchosen bits' debut album

"black powder" I miss viktor

love that ashley has a little mister prop now

ashon is that guy who flung the walmart pallet one-handed

is laudna's arm weaker at the elbow or at the shoulder

I have processed Nothing why are we stressed

fearne

they're gonna know

I always feel bad zoning out bc like. this is not much of a reaction post if I don't fucking pay attention to react

…..wooden hats

the faun can detect magic! I didn't know she knew how to do THAT.

cerberus assembly is the new uko'toa (uko'toa)

"everybody knows spartans don't exist!"

"we need someone fast" "and furious" "I could go" "you're neither of those things"

"I've heard people say 'brewch'" "they were wrong"

taliesin why was that so menacing

they are single-handedly going to change the popular pronunciation of the word "brooch"

travis

life is short, do something to a bagel

"first branch of a very big tree" [squints]

"be the best broken thing you can be"

newly refurbished chamber that was once bad

chetney why are you so HORNY

#critical role #spoilers #crititag #liveblog #reaction post

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transmascrage · 2 years

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Literally my mom will see me being relaxed and think "How can I ruin his mood?"

Today she was mad that I don't have a job yet. She screamed and yelled that I needed to help the family but kept using the example of gas prices, as if I caused inflation??

That they couldn't maintain me forever, as if I'm not 20 and only finished school last year, because she started working at 15, the poor little meow meow.

And that one of my sister's friends, who's 16, got a job, as if I didn't get my first job at 17 during a pandemic.

And how at that job, "they hire normal-looking people too, even fat girls!!!" literally what are you saying. Say it with your chest. Don't fucking hide what you're trying to say.

She fucking knows I'm trans, I've told her everything but "I am trans", but she'll still call me and my sister "girls" and imply I'm a girl who just needs to get over her stupid ideas and start shaving. Which I fucking won't. I hate shaving and I get super painful microcuts that bleed like arteries every time.

And it's funny she says that because when I started to grow leg hair she refused to let me shave. And I have A LOT of body hair and it's really dark so I'd have to shave every two days if I wanted to not look hairy as fuck.

Then when I started to be insecure because the kids in class would make fun of me when I wore shorts she finally took me to get waxed and then laser treatment. And I don't know if I have a lower pain threshold than normal but holy shit it's so fucking painful. I felt like I was being shot. Meanwhile, she insists it doesn't hurt that much and I'm being dramatic. Which she did when I was scared of vaccines too.

Every time I'm doing well she managed to send me into a depressive episode and I fucking refuse to be sad this time, tomorrow I'm going to my first concert and it's gonna be my 5th-6th anniversary of realizing I'm trans.

Every goddamn year she'll sit me down and yell at me for a while that I need to do something better. Used to be my grades, but I guess she's gotta find something else now that I'm in uni.

God. But now that my sister's in therapy she treats her soooo much better, but she's so used to taking shit out on me she can't help it I guess. And when I told my sister I was depressed for 7 years, since I was 13, or at least had almost constant depressive episodes, she started crying and said my depression had to have been minor as opposed to her major depression because she had it sooooooooooooo much worse.

The source of her trauma? Watching my dad almost punch me and me attempting suicide in the same night. I wonder who else could have been traumatized by that.

And now I'm doing better and it's the first time since I was a child, because of my mom's constant fear-mongering and I'm suspecting ADHD (so a combo of RSD, which literally made me feel like I was getting stabbed in my chest, and just being too ND for my classmates), that I'm not anxious and it's still never good enough.

Speaking of ADHD, I finally had the courage to tell my therapist I think I have it and she gave me a condescending smile and went "Oh, that would be a nice excuse to not improve, right?" fuck you bitch I thought I could trust you but you won't even take me seriously.

Fuck everyone in this goddamn family and this goddamn country.

#personal

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oglegoggle · 1 year

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“Do you really think I’m stupid and a coward?” Yeah. I do. You’re a coward for not facing your worst habits and working to improve them. And you’re stupid for thinking that telling me you’re incapable of doing better and not hurting me will do anything but end it between us.

I vomit my emotions onto tumblr as a way of screaming into the void rather than dumping it directly on those I care for. Yeah I called you an idiot coward in the tags of a post about ADHD bitches using their condition as an excuse for being a shitty and inconsiderate person. I didn’t confront you about these feelings directly because you catastrophize it every single time I try to talk about how I’ve been feeling hurt no matter how gently I treat you with kid gloves. You don’t improve and cite ADHD as reason you can’t. There’s no resolution to the conflict it’s I have to accept that you can’t do better and tolerate your shit behavior. I wanted to address these things with a therapist with you but you didn’t want to. I wanted so goddamn much to make us work. I really genuinely did. But I never felt like you actually wanted to make things work for us you wanted a hybrid nanny/housekeeper/private chef/therapist/fuckdoll with no needs of their own willing to accept caring for you while receiving no care in return and having their things constantly destroyed and never replaced in the process.

You’re a manchild. It’s actively hilarious that you’re having an awful time living at home with your parents because they yell at you for not doing your chores. It’s hilarious that you can’t get an apartment because you tanked your credit and rental history and fucked up the cheap ass $400/mo utilities included gig you had with me. You tried to guilt me over your own idiot financial mistakes when I didn’t even kick you out I said the evil fuckin cat isn’t allowed back in my home after it slashed my Literal Eyeball and you decided you’d rather leave than rehome her. I didn’t make you skip out on your bills and rent payments at your apartment before we even met. I didn’t make you rack up tons of credit card debt. I didn’t make you spend entire paychecks on weed. I was totally hands off of your money both years before we met and during the course of our relationship. Yes my parents were financially abusing me, but the $400/mo rent they asked of you was not the worst possible part of the gig when formal landlords are asking $1000+/mo rent and you still have to pay the utilities and internet and shit. I covered all of the utilities expenses even after you made them increase exponentially by demanding faster internet for gaming and an uncomfortably hot house at all times and more than triple the water I use alone on top of me covering literally all of our food expenses. I tried to coach you in smarter financial planning and you didn’t take my advice. I didn’t shame you for your poor spending because boo hoo ADHD & dyscalculia means you’re not capable of doing better and that’s not accommodating of your disabilities. But I am shaming you now. Moron.

#this is goggles #lmfao he once commented that he’s not surprised that several of my exes are still super into me and regret fucking it up with me #now he’s on the list of pathetic exes with the rest of them #I’m absolutely certain this shit is going to haunt him for a long time and he will in no way actually improve himself #yeah I do stay friends with folks I dated who treated me well we just weren’t compatible #but you didn’t treat me well and I’ve had enough

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starry-skies-116 · 2 years

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Vent (TW: Internalized Ableism, Albeists Fuck Off)

Hey, you! I've got something to report!

I am almost CERTAIN that I have broken dopamine receptors. I do have the ability to plan and see what’s ahead, but ONLY to a certain extent. I absolutely CANNOT use planners or relegate myself to specific time limits. I would consider myself prepared for any situation I come across, but I still cannot predict accurately what would happen like others.

Long story short, I have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. And it is NOT what my elders would expect of one who has such a disorder- the similarities present to the stereotypes are few and far in between. I do not know of the exact details- my father said to me I was diagnosed with it at ten years of age because I had a premature birth that affected the development of my brain and body, but it might be genetic- both of my parents exhibit MANY symptoms of both internalized and subtle ableism, as well as neurodivergency. I’m SUPER mad at them for keeping such a diagnosis a secret from me until now, but it’s much too late to withhold or express such sentiments- I was bound to find out either way, but I’m still a tad salty they couldn’t foresee such a thing.

As supportive and wanting to be helpful as they are, it pains me that they are confused and have so many misconceptions about my condition and my day-to-day experiences, just dismissing it as an ‘everybody’ thing. ESPECIALLY when they KNOW I was diagnosed with the legit thing.

I do consider myself a very smart person, as well as a persistent and hardworking person- willing to do whatever it takes to use my intelligence, help others and complete tasks- but even then I am bound to make mistakes due to my ADHD and overall exacerbated rushing.

“Oh, but doesn’t ADHD go away when you’re 14?”

NOPE! I cannot stress this fact enough- no, it does not. And you have no idea how much I wish it did.

Developmental oddities in the brain and neurodivergency cannot be undone no matter what. There is no cure for disorders such as autism and dyslexia, though they can be treated- likewise, ADHD is not some disease to be cured- it is a disorder that one carries throughout their entire life. And for me, it has made my life so frustratingly and soul-crushingly hard to this day. It doesn’t mean in any way, shape or form possible that I’m stupid, or incapable or unqualified or even lazy or hopelessly scatterbrained- no, far from that.

It’s just that I’m different from neurotypical human beings, and that I’m NOT neurotypical no matter what excuse others might make up to try and call me ‘normal’ and ‘attention-seeking’ because ‘I’m a stupid teenager’. And because of my neurodivergency, things are made exponentially harder for me.

Like seriously, I do NOT understand how normal people work.

It’s like being told your entire life you suck at MarioKart and need to ‘try harder’ or ‘focus’ or ‘get better’ or ‘put some effort in’ or ‘care a little more’, only to find out that your game has been rigged to autotarget you with a blue shell if you stay in first place for longer than three seconds. You’d feel utterly rageful and devastated upon such a revelation being imparted unto you, no? Why, then, should I feel any different and carry on as if nothing’s wrong with me?

“Oh, but everyone is a little ADHD!”

Nuh-uh. You may have a few signs of ADHD, or you may be ditzy, scatterbrained or impulsive by personality, but ADHD is NOT A PERSONALITY QUIRK. It is a chronic, lifelong mental disorder with the symptoms being unpredictable- every single competent and appropriately educated doctor you meet WILL confirm this. There are physical and chemical differences in the brain caused by neurodivergent brain development: the structure, volume, chemical activity and communication pathways in an ADHD brain are different than those without. Different brain development is something that CANNOT BE UNDONE, regardless of how mutable the brain is as an organ. It can be masked, the symptoms can be regulated with treatment and therapy, but in the end it is still there. You cannot ‘grow’ out of ADHD because it is physically and humanly and mentally and spiritually on all levels IMPOSSIBLE. It does not go away.

Low executive function started with me LITERALLY not being able to write in agendas, whilst everyone else had no problem doing so. I was? So confused? Like, how can anyone use a planner consistently? How can anyone KNOW, or even more extreme, DECIDE what task to start on, or understand horribly worded and administered instructions lacking clearness? How can my peers subject themselves to time constraints that are set by either their elders or themselves? What is this convoluted sorcery?

Okay, fine- I shall elaborate: a simple task for others is not a simple task for me, because it could be divided up into actually a hundred tasks for all I know. When someone says ‘Clean The Kitchen’- …okay? Where do I start? I’m perfectly capable of taking initiative to do such things upon being given instructions, but then there’s the analysis paralysis that comes with taking on such a vague task. There are about a million different sub-tasks I could tackle to start ‘cleaning the kitchen’- washing the dishes, heating up water, cleaning the stove, cleaning the countertops, organizing the cabinets, reorganizing the fridge so it can have more space, checking the groceries, organizing cookware and cooking supplies that are still clean, ordering missing groceries online, scheduling pickup times, LITERALLY anything.

And perhaps you get distracted by tasks you forgot about and then suddenly remember, such as forgetting to water the plants, forgetting about mowing the lawn, forgetting to reorganize the desk- or even worse, in the case of me being an adult, forgetting about the BILLS you still have left to pay.

Yeah, I hear the screams of horror through the screen right now.

It’s not that us people with ADHD are lazy, or undriven or unfocused- I myself am a very driven, spirited and persistent person with plenty of emotional expression, sympathy and empathy (have to turn the tap off for a while every now and then since other people suffering affects me deeply)- it’s just that we have more difficulty doing normal, everyday things that other, more ‘normal’ people can do effortlessly- and we tend to have horrible emotional meltdowns over these matters because why is this so hard they said it was supposed to be a simple task.

Also, why are people with ADHD labeled as ‘lazy’ or ‘ditzy’ or ‘scatterbrained’? Is it because of our task management issues or executive dysfunction? Is that too inconvenient for neurotypicals like you to accomodate?

I, personally, have no problem with task initiation- it’s relatively easy for me to start new things because of the ‘default’ mood of ADHD sometimes being present on ‘good brain days’ (I want to do SO MANY THINGS I WANNA CONQUER THE WORLD). It is finishing those tasks, spacing them out, managing my time and organizational dysfunction that is a HUGE setback for me. Even with an alarm, ignoring it is the best I can do, lest I resist the urge to throw the cursed godforsaken thing across the room to get it as far away from me as humanly possible.

And also, why does literally NOBODY talk about just how harrowing forgetfulness and memory lapses are? ESPECIALLY if you have ADHD, to the point where it literally becomes a hindrance in your everyday life…?

I have tutoring this summer, right? For test preparation (ah, yes, standardized testing- the BANE of my LITERAL EXISTENCE). I had initially thought that the homework was to do sections 3 and 4 of SAT 3- I saw a three on the board, I wrote it down- I repeatedly cross-checked the homework I did, and kept on remembering and reminding myself.

Except there was a literal glitch in the matrix of reality itself, because when I got to class that next week, turns out the homework was NOT SAT 3 and actually SAT 7?

So now the other students could go outside and play Connect 4 and chess and do other fun, leisurely activities during the break time I was supposed to enjoy, while I had to wear the metaphorical godforsaken cone of shame and do the sections I was originally required to do, with the teacher scrutinizing me from his desk and looking so disappointed in me it literally crushed me.

It was so harrowing and genuinely saddening- if you could’ve seen me, I was on the verge of tears. I hated myself SO much in that moment, I actually wanted to cry.

“Well, maybe if you just applied yourself to the task at hand, maybe if you weren’t so lazy and cared a little bit more-”

SHUT UP. Oh my GOD, shut UP, PLEASE. You have NO idea just how FALSE and how DEMEANING and how HURTFUL that statement is. You have NO idea how much I wish I could believe in that laughably stupid and blatant lie, how much I wish I could just ‘try harder’ and somehow ALL my problems would be magically and miraculously fixed.

The thing is, people with ADHD DO actually try hard. Cry and don’t believe that all you’d like- in fact, I, with ADHD, often work just as hard, if not harder, than my neurotypical and abled peers! It’s just that due to my mental disorder I have to deal with inconveniences and impairments that they don’t in day-to-day life.

Imagine someone who is blind, right? They’re exceptionally smart. The fact that they’re blind doesn’t make them any less smart, yet the fact that they are smart doesn’t make them any less blind. They’re gifted- on BOTH ends of the bell curve. And to accommodate for their weaknesses, they have things such as braille, guide dogs, and audio lessons to help them out. Same with other disabled people- people born without limbs have prosthetics made for them (at least to those who can afford them), people who are deaf communicate with sign language or have hearing aids- but the fact that these resources are available to them do NOT cure them of their illness and the impairments that come along with it. They may diminish the effect the symptoms have on their daily life, but that’s it. These aids do not eliminate the chronic, long-term illness- it is still there, making you deal with stuff that normal, abled people do not have to deal with.

And for people with LITERAL COGNITIVE DISABILITIES that IMPAIRS their JUDGEMENT AND DECISION MAKING ABILITIES?? And makes life hell at times, almost always conveniently at points when for typical people it should be easy?

No wonder my parents didn’t want me looking for information about ADHD- they wanted to delude me into thinking I was just a normal, lazy, ditzy and scatterbrained child. They thought my illness could go away when DEVELOPMENTAL DISORDERS NEVER. GO. AWAY.

PERIOD.

I am so mad. So, so mad.

I am so mad that this has impacted my self-esteem and my capacity for hurt, thinking I was simply ‘oversensitive’ without the knowledge of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. I am so mad that for literal years of my life, I thought I was a failure- that I would never be enough because sometimes it escalated to the point where it was a struggle to even stay conscious in class, let alone pay attention because I hadn’t eaten and stomach problems go hand in hand with my ADHD.

I am so mad that for literal years, my illness had been hiding in plain sight and I’ve called it ‘gifted kid burnout spiral uwu lol’ with teachers trying to discipline me in the most hurtful ways possible. I am so mad that- hell- I got BULLIED for who I was, and EVERY SINGLE TRUSTED ADULT I KNEW TOLD ME TO ‘just ignore them’.

I am so mad that the ADHD meltdowns I've suffered have been taken as me being 'crazy' or 'out of control' and that people screamed at me to calm down, only exacerbating my feelings further. I am so mad that one time when I had such a meltdown, my mom told me I was a problematic child who had to be 'controlled', and threatened to call the police on me instead of trying to calm me down and fix my cruddy mood.

I am so mad that for literal years of my life I took a blatantly ableist approach to ADHD, thinking ‘haha funnee disorder’ or ‘haha clumsy forgetful and scatterbrained so cute uwu’ or thinking that ADHD was summed up by ‘lol squirrel I’m adorable little baby’- no.

This condition is a legitimately harrowing and life-ruining thing to deal with. To those that know me personally, if you see this: stop trying to pretend I’m fine. Stop trying to pretend I’m like normal people with no problems or no impairments whatsoever. As intelligent or as talented and smart as I may be, I am human. I still need accommodations, care, love and support- but more than that, I need validation and acceptance instead of you consistently trying to tell me ‘I am just forgetful’ or ‘I just don’t care enough’. Because I guarantee you, ADHD has affected ALL aspects of my life since early childhood every waking moment, from my social life to my self-esteem, and I need YOU to do some research on ADHD, clear up your misconceptions, and actually respect and accept me for who I am and the condition I have. It never goes away. It is a thing I have to wrestle with for the rest of my life, and you NEED to accept that. Please.

Why am I talking about this? Because right now, I’m angry. I vaguely remember that I was placed on medication for the time my ADHD symptoms were exacerbated, and they only worked slightly. My parents and the rest of my family members kept on thinking of ADHD as something to control- an excuse for laziness or not wanting to do something- and honestly? I am. So MAD. I am SO MAD at them for refusing to educate themselves or me on my illness, for telling me to use planners and time constraints and schedule appointments like regular, neurotypical people when THAT DOESN’T WORK. I’m SO MAD at them not understanding or refusing to acknowledge the concept of time blindness, of memory lapses that actually make my life so inconvenient, for not putting in actual effort to live their own lives and telling me that tasks that are SO EXPONENTIALLY HARD due to my illness are ‘easy’ to them.

I am not like you. I have a mental illness that will never go away, that I will never fully ‘overcome’ and that is that. I can learn to live with it, but that is it. I wish I was normal and functional because I am NOT.

I am not just lazy, ditzy, scatterbrained, careless or distracted. I do not ‘want attention’. I am not ‘too young to decide’- no, to those who know me personally, you refuse to diagnose me with anything at all and try to delude yourself into thinking I can hold myself to your standards consistently! And if you think I’m ‘faking it’? Faking it would be a conscious decision! You’ve SEEN firsthand how ADHD affected my entire life and basically tore it to shreds sometimes- and you STILL want to deny it and tell me that I’m ‘okay’? That I'm 'normal'?

I am not like you. I am not normal.

Learn to respect me, and learn to treat my illness like an illness. Please. Treat me like a human being afflicted with ADHD. Is that so hard?

#ADHD #ADHD feels #ADHD shit #ADHD problems #ADHD vent #tw vent #vent post #neurodivergent #actually ADHD #tw ableism #Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder #tw angry #tw family issues #I love my parents #but they don't understand ADHD or me like they think they do #and that frustrates me to no end :'D #oh and also #tw depression mention #tw intrusive/harmful thoughts

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nat-stimmy · 2 years

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nobody ever suspected anything. i never thought anything was specifically wrong with me. i guess im still in denial over my diagnosis and im ngl it is something i am highly embarrassed of and will go to the grave with this rather than ever tell anybody EXCEPT...if they think im weird, then maybe i will tell them.

i often feel like i have been wrongly diagnosed too. i just feel like i dont have this and im just, severe anxiety is all.

can i just say something though? like its a burden on me, for real. so i was "working" in this little cafe thingy slash idek i was sat on the computer doing these pamphlets and whatnot for them because nobody knew anything on how to make them or something, idk, but i was on a walk with this one woman who works there, she's like this one person who, if something happens, like i cant figure something out, she's the one i should talk to and whatnot. but we were on this walk and i still remember this despite this happening in fucking 2018. sorry for cussing...but she was like, SO SHOCKED when she asked me if i had gone to a special needs classes, and i said no i had never, always went to a normal class and school, had no issues whatsoever with school except for the matter of fact that i fucking hated school and homework, i have never been a fan of it, but the way she was like shocked over it, i was taken aback, i honestly felt insulted. like she thinks im stupid or something? and thats the issue i know people who go to special classes and whatnot arent necessarily stupid but the fact when people judge my knowledge, is what gets to me. she's also make damn sure i know they are kidding and whatnot, when i used to live off being sarcastic due to severe bullying online i developed this sarcastis persona that thankfully toned down eventually. but that really insulted me lmao. was thinking "...excuse me?" i just dont like people being like that to me.

again i apologise but thats just how i be. be working. and i know im gonna possibly get yelled at for saying that but again ik they aint stupid, but thats just what i thought, and unfortunately think, because...judgement. like that. gets to me. but only irl.

sorry for this awkward rant.

i completely understand, don't worry! and dont worry abt cursing i swear all the time JKLFDJKLDSF yeah, i was never in any special ed classes even when i was misdiagnosed as a kid as having ADHD (a rushed diagnosis forced by the school i was going to at the time because they said i'd be kicked out if i didnt get medicated even though i wasnt. doing anything. i was just doing Normal Autistic Kid stuff) actually i was in advanced classes as a kid! i was reading at a college level in like 3rd grade and so i got put in the gifted program and while you and I know that being in special ed isn't anything bad, or indicative of your intelligence, NT people usually don't share that opinion and generally have ableist ideas of the kinds of kids who are in those classes, and honestly i'd have been a little taken aback too as someone who is proud of being autistic since i Don't Fucking Trust Allistics and i tend to assume the worst in scenarios like this

#not stim #long post #asks #tw ableism #< mentioned #tw school

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