#and ppl are like ‘it’s not a comedy’ YES THE FUCK IT IS

[a-multifandom-mess12]

I like explaining Hannibal to my friends. Like yeah, Will fucked a lesbian. Then that lesbians creepy brother put her uterus in a pig. Then her and her future wife fed him to his pet eel. Yeah this is a serious show, why do you ask?

#oh and also he has no nose #because it was fed to the dogs #and ppl are like ‘it’s not a comedy’ YES THE FUCK IT IS #and don’t get me started on the man in the horse #hannibal nbc #nbc hannibal #hannibal the cannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #margot verger #alana bloom #mason verger #hannigram #hannibal

[mfshipbracket]

gd'afternoon. just updated the spreadsheet standings. delighted to announce that currently hanleia is sweeping reylo the hardest in an act of what can only be called Community Enforced Poetic Justice. they're still not quite at shrekiona's 97.1% level though...

also, these are the polls ranked by most votes, leading the pack due to controversy, popularity, or a spicy combination of both. what do YOU think got these ships to the top? send in your answers now!

#anti-reylo #i loooooooooooove you funny numbers #like ppl keep accusing us of malice #and yes i was stupid abt spamming the reylo tag cuz i did not realize real ppl on tumblr enjoy reylo and browse the tag #but my real drive is curiosity and science and studies and fucking around and finding out. and comedy. i am a slave to the bit #like i did NOT realize ppl so universally hated reylo. i live with all the anons who claimed residence under the rock of ignorant bliss #anyways i AM sorry for that. #if i could untag reylo from the original polls i would. but alas i'm no time wizard and cannae turn back the clock... #we apologize. we correct mistakes. we stay silly. we move on

[ryuuseini]

I feel like everyone's quality of life would improve dramatically if they watch Yugioh Zexal at least once in their life

#ygo #ygo zexal #zexal #yugioh zexal #btw sub OR dub it doesnt matter! #yes the original is better bc the dub did like... fuck up a lot of character nuance #/like erase an entire character's character arc #however. i think it depends greatly on what you want out of zexal #if you want to watch a show about a dude learning to love tomatoes but then cry nonstop: original #if you wanna watch a show about a dude telling ppl to butt out bc hes talking to his imaginary best friend #and ask if you just summoned your mom? go watch the dub like trust me its a TIME #yuma asks shark if what hes wearing is polyester and shark is SO offended its literally peak comedy

[bumbleblurr]

"how can BULKHEAD be able to defeat shockwave" shut up shut the fuck up shut up I will not have u disrespect my man bulkhead like this

#Bulkhead lets go somewhere where ppl wont diss u like this (holds his hand and walks away) #ok but like. my take on this #i think its not unreasonable that bulkhead can beat shockwave hes strong and smart #and shocks is Not as clever and graceful as ppl love to think he is #so when ppl are like SHOCKWAVE would NEVER lose to BULKHEAD #its like. ok i get it u dont like bulkhead as much bc hes not as attractive to u :// sorry hes not a skinny sexyman #but also not sorry fuck you #i do agree that the fight between bee bulk & shocks is waaay too short and needed a bit more back and forth to be satisfying #but to say They Shouldn't have been able to win against shockwave? #girl have u seen what those 2 have been able to do throughout the show yes they can #it just shouldve been a bit more of struggle to win against him thats what I'll agree on #besides we're ALL missing out on the comedy of Bulkhead being like ''dont try shit i can beat ur ass'' & shockwave going ''ok (sweating)'' #i think i made that joke Once before with bulkhead being the mod on bee's streams & is the one who bans shockwave lol #🐝 could you repeat the last part? 🟦

[illicitghoul]

you’re instagram if you were in the BAU (p2)

prt 2 that nobody asked for 🥱 (this is so fun)

part 1 (linked below)

————————————————————————————

yourusername

liked by jen.jj45 and 46 others

yourusername JJ LOVE CLUB (i am also in jj love club but they all voted me to take the photo 💔)

pennycia and you did a great job 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

yourusername i love you pen 💌

pennycia I LOVE YOU MOST Y/N

derek.m0rg4n @spencer.re1d i love you

spencer.re1d Stop lying for social media clout

derek.m0rg4n fuck you AND your fuck ass haircut

prentiss.em LMFAO

prentiss.em we are such cuties some ppl wish they were us 🥱

yourusername @prentiss.em real asf

yourusername

liked by elliegreenaway & others

yourusername me and spence were conjoined jellyfish in another life

spencer.re1d Can we be anglerfish

yourusername no? wtf is wrong with you

spencer.re1d 🥱🥱🥱🥱BORING

r0ssi81 that is a very interesting photo

yourusername YOU KNOW HOW TO COMMENT?

r0ssi81 you’re pushing it girl genius

yourusername you’re pushing something…

r0ssi81 when i find out how to block someone you are gone y/n

prentiss.em this is quite cute y/l/n 😭

yourusername you’re quite cute 🤫

prentiss.em send me toe pictures 😂😂😂😂

yourusername NO EMILY!!!!!!!!! (ill email them)

yourusername

liked by spencer.re1d and 51 others

yourusername my cute glowing girlfriend (idk who that random man is 🤷‍♀️ kinda scary)

prentiss.em yeah that is really weird 🥱 anyway i love u wifey mwah mwah

yourusername ugh ily lets go frolic in a field or smth

spencer.re1d Yeah that is really scary - be careful guys

spencer.re1d OH MY I LOOK LIKE A GHOST 😁😁

jen.jj45 it’s like i can still hear his voice…

yourusername :( i miss his cute smile

prentiss.em 🎉

spencer.re1d @prentiss.em You aren’t funny

pennycia 😭😭😭😭

prentiss.em ok comedy police spencer reid????

jen.jj45 shes like an angel !!!!!!

prentiss.em I LOVE YOU JENNIFER 🙁🙁

yourusername

liked by aaron.hotchner and 37 others

yourusername i said serve and they devoured

spencer.re1d Slay !

prentiss.em y/n meant to say i devoured and you kind of chewed…

spencer.re1d Can you stop harassing me?

prentiss.em i kiss your girlfriend on days that end in y

yourusername TRUTH 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

pennycia what cuties!!! seeing their smiles makes me so happy!!!!!!

spencer.re1d You’re my best friend

derek.m0rg4n everytime you speak it breaks my heart

jen.jj45 HAHAAH WHAT

pennycia CRYING

yourusername

liked by elliegreenaway and 43 others

yourusername my bag broke before i left spences 🙁

spencer.re1d Sigh…. the theory for a broken bag means you have to stay where it broke 🤷‍♂️ i dont know i just heard that

derek.m0rg4n my bag broke in your heart… why won’t you let me stay

yourusername you ate with that one derek

yourusername broke bag mountain

elliegreenaway @yourusername LMFAO

pennycia i’ll fix it for you!!! come over girlie!!!

yourusername omw!!!!!

yourusername

liked by derek.m0rg4n and 49 others

yourusername day out with my four wives

pen : fanny pack with snacks and a book

jj : losing her mind (too warm)

em : complaining 🥱

me : having a good time :)

aaron.hotchner I hope you all worn sunscreen

yourusername yes 🫡

prentiss.em 🥱

pennycia i had a great day!!! (i read 3 pages)

jen.jj45 i am LOSING it the HEAT i am gonna COMBUST

derek.m0rg4n @spencer.re1d @aaron.hotchner @r0ssi81 could be us

r0ssi81 I am busy for the foreseeable future

dreak.m0rgan @spencer.re1d @aaron.hotcher

at least rossi replied…

#criminal minds #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #jennifer jareau #penelope garcia #aaron hotchner #david rossi #emily prentiss #derek morgan

[thatdeadaquarius]

Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language

I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD

It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech

Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))

So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??

But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly

It goes smth like:

So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.

Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 

Lookin’ at you Kazuha.

.

And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 

Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating

And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.

And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)

Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)

And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech

..

…

...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.

Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact

Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply

So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature

 .

(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)

(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)

____

So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",

And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 

And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."

You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."

Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."

You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 

.

And it just keeps happening, lol

.

(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)

.

Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning

.

...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??

You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 

Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao

.

(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)

.

You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 

lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)

.

Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)

ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??

(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)

.

Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.

.

It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit

Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.

You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀

.

Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,

Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,

It got so old so fast.

.

(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")

.

On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,

I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things

(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)

And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 

They're amazed and oh, 

you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 

(Bad examples include:

Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"

You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 

*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard

JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!

Thanks for reading this rambling!!

Or send in asks abt this 👀

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

#genshin sagau ideas #sagau #isekai #genshin god reader #genshin impact #genshin imagines #gender neutral y/n #gender neutral reader #genshin sagau #genshin isekai #going feral #genshin brainrot #genshin au

[casmick-consequences]

i rewatched the finale just now, and I have some thoughts.

mainly, i want to thank taika and david for this wonderful show that's brought me immense joy this last month, and i'll always take it with me no matter if we manage to get a third season or not.

did i like the finale? yes, i really did. did i think it was very rushed, had weird scene placements and could've gone with another episode to even things out? also yes.

as far as izzy goes (and this is where it gets extremely controversial knowing how much this fandom loves him); i am actually glad his storyline ended here.

this entire season, we got to enjoy him and we got to see his redemption arc. from someone who is obsessed with this monster of a being, to someone who learns to come into his own, away from all the toxicity and poison. he gets to find out more about himself, and with that grow closer to the people around him and allow himself to have friends. a family, even. would i have loved to see him live a full life like this? definitely. but story-wise, this is a perfect ending for him. "you born alone, you die alone" he said, and then he passed peacefully surrounded by his family and in the arms of not blackbeard, but edward.

i need the people of this fandom to understand that just because your favorite character died, doesn't mean that it instantly turns into a bad show/season/whatever. you have to look outside of your bias, and instead of going "no fuck this show because i did not want him to die" you could go "i am incredibly sad that he died but i'm so happy to have known him and to have him in my life". it's a show, the character isn't going away simply because he died.

but then again, izzy didn't mean as much as he did to the majority of you and i don't wanna go around telling people how to feel, because feelings and emotions are real and if he meant a lot to you then yes, of course you're hurt. and that's 100% completely valid. just don't take it out on the rest of the show and the show writers (saw some ppl say that nasty things were being tweeted at djenkins and that's not ok. at all.)

idk, even after watching it twice i feel kinda... weird.... like too much happened in little time. but i am OVERJOYED that lucius and pete got to have their little wedding <3333 they're mateys!!!! i just wish it wasn't over in 30 seconds, as well as completely overshadowed by izzy's death 2 minutes before.

but i do think the finale had some GREAT bits in it. even if most of it felt rushed, there was comedy, emotion, romance, GREAT kisses (the way gentlebeard was handled in this episode made me very giddy!!)..... it just always delivers.... and watching this with everything else that happened in s2 I can safely say that this might be my favorite season of any show out there.

once again; THANK you taika and david <3 love youuu

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 spoilers #izzy hands #taika waititi #david jenkins #ofmd 2x08 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd 2x08 spoilers

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

LMAO I'm a recent follower (and recent trekkie) so I had no idea "trekkies4chastity" was ever a thing, that's insane. Every trek (at least up to & including ent, haven't watched enough of the others to know) has some Weird Sex Thing, like tos has constant kirkboobs, tng has like five different pairs of regulars with incredible amounts of sexual tension (and sometimes one is swapped out) including whatever the hell Q is doing, ds9 has quark (and incredibly amounts of sexual tension between regulars), voy is basically a polycule and ent knocks it out of the park with the fucking decontamination thingy, like... how can you watch all of that and go "yes this is a clean christian show that will keep ppl from having sex. the cornflakes of television"

Ahh I get where you're coming from, but no hate towards them because trekkies4chastity was actually a joke blog as well, which I believe is why they deactivated; they were the og account and I made this blog in response as a bit, but it ended up pissing the og off & they deactivated (sorry gar-trek, not that you'll see this bc u have me blocked. U gotta admit it was very funny tho)

And then another account showed up called TrekkiesKindaNeutralAboutChastity (I don't remember the exact username & they're also deactivated now) and idk who they were but they were the funniest person on this website. Their existence made me laugh so much. Comedy comes in threes, etc.

I think the reason t4ch worked so well as a parody blog was because there are star trek fans out there who are like that™ (just remembering the outrage when boimler showed hole in a lower decks episode and the twitter outrage at the time).

#asks #I did consider deleting this blog when everyone else deleted but I'm still here #anon #trekkies4chastity #trekkiesagainstchastity #trekkiesneutralaboutchastity

[actuallywlccan]

Seeing a comedy youtube channel I love get shat on for not publically supporting Palestine and ppl calling one of the cast members (the ONLY Jewish cast member) an evil zionist bc he tweeted about how people shouldn't be cheering on Israeli citizens dying is exactly why, as a Jew, my body goes into flight mode whenever I see anything about the genocide online

And yes, he has a direct family connection to the Nakba so its not like me whose family is 100% american Jews, but hes also actively said that Israel is wrong but civilian deaths bad. Its especially bullshit since a gentile member of the cast said essentially the same thing and nobody is calling him a zionist.

Is Israel wrong for doing a genocide? Fucking obviously yes. But the way people talk about it is so toxic that even thinking about the whole thing makes me actively panicky. Am I coming from a place of privilege to be able to avoid it? Yes! But that is what happens when antisemitism becomes so deeply mixed up in discussions of a goddamn war.

#whyd i write this #im going to regret this #i just #need to say this bc i want to scroll thru the smosh tag in escapist peace #and everyone is talking about noah as if hes enlisting in the IDF #also why do ppl expect a silly comedy channel to speak about a genocide??? #i get expecting that of the individual people but the whole channel??? #half their stuff is fart jokes and you really want them to talk about the complexities of a genocidal conflict???????? #prolly shouldnt have said the name of the channel in the tags #but i did say i would regret this

[charliespringverse]

iwbft – ghosted: a Bonus brief summary of my annotations

all highlighted quotes: 91

· ouch/ow/owie: 5

· real/felt/relatable/so true: 4

· ☹/☹☹/☹☹☹: 4

She said Shrek and Fiona, and then told me she never wanted to be famous. — the double life thing babeyy

“Jimmy,” he heaves out, and I feel a stab of panic in my chest. — just hearing ur friend's name shouldn't be enough to trigger panic unless u already know something is Very Wrong . at which point i feel they should've pushed for further help instead of finishing out the tour

“We can’t leave Jimmy out.” Lister stands shirtless in the middle of the room and spins around on the spot. — fuck yeah trio tingz :')

It almost makes me laugh how polite and casual Rowan manages to sound, despite the fact that our best friend is missing. — IT'S A DEFENCE MECHANISM!!!!!

I only wonder how much of it is my fault. — none of it bb dw :( he is Not With It enough to be thinking abt anyone but himself rn

“But I can’t drive.” Rowan stares at me. “I thought you had lessons.” “I only had three lessons.” And then I got bored, or tired, or busy, or all three. — ... adhd lister btw

Why would he do this to us? To me? — i think jimmy's dependence on rowan is more reciprocated than he realises

If we weren’t in a famous band together, I’m not sure whether we’d still be friends now. — this rly hurts my feelings and it hurts more bc he isn't necessarily Wrong i don't think

“You do know I can play eight instruments, right?” “But not the drums, huh.” Rowan folds his arms. “You will never let me live that down.” — LISTERROWAN BESTIEISM BANTER BABEY

“But you think I’m an idiot who has nothing intelligent to say.” “I don’t think that.” “Yeah, you do. You’d much rather I was the one who was missing right now.” Rowan doesn’t respond. We both know I’m right. — WELL MAYBE BUT U DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME THAT. I DON'T WANNA THINK ABOUT IT.

“I wish you wouldn’t—” he begins but is cut off when his phone buzzes. — i hate that the phone gave him a get out from being open n sincere w lister :^(

“That’s a Southeastern Railway train,” says Lister instantly. “You can tell by the seat patterns.” — [freddie mercury voice] auuuuutism auuuuutism i want to ride my autism (note: this is summat @to-grill-a-mockingbird says and now i can never get it out of my head)

“He needs a night off.” "A night off from … what? His entire life?” Piero chuckles. “Yes.” — i mean ouch but also Yeah

“That was good news. He hasn’t been kidnapped. He just needed a nap.” “Can you not make a joke about this situation for like one fucking minute, Allister?” — could be the tism on my end but i didn't take this as a joke . jimmy needs a break, piero told them that, lister has seen enough to agree . (also: lister has Also contemplated running away so it makes sense he's less eager to bring jimmy back to ldn bc he doesn't see it as fixing the problem the same way rowan does)

Why do I always have to be the serious one? The worrier? Why can’t someone else do the worrying sometimes? — other ppl Do worry . but not so much that it becomes its own problem worthy of therapy

We save the deep chats for Jimmy. Jimmy doesn’t open up very often, but you know Jimmy will listen if you have something serious to say. — vs jimmy's wednesday narration 'we don't ever talk about deep stuff, me and lister bird' :((((

This whole bedroom is something out of twelve-year-old Lister’s wildest fantasies—it’s spacious and modern, with one floor-to-ceiling window, dark walls, LED lights behind the headboard, and a fifty-inch TV. — what u lack as a child you seek as an adult etc etc (space, material possessions, money)

Rowan’s room is always tidy. He puts away his clothes at the end of the day and makes his bed in the mornings. — always craving order & control :(

Rowan loves to criticize me about buying unnecessary things, but all I need to do is remind him of the velvet chaise longue in his bedroom that I’m pretty sure nobody has ever sat on. — comedy gold amidst the agony

He blinks at me. “You remembered my weird order?” — remembering ppl's orders is a love language

“Can I … ?” I shuffle on my feet. “Can we eat it in here?” — i hate that he's so uncertain n lacking in confidence while asking one of his best friends

I’ve always been deeply annoyed by what a high metabolism he has. I work out three times a week with a personal trainer just to stay toned. — rowan's fixation on body image makes me ✨nervous✨

“You were reading?” I ask, eyebrow raised. Lister narrows his eyes at me. “Wow, hilarious." — i stand by my 'lister loves to read but nobody ever assumes that or believes him bc their perception is skewed by him not gelling with academia' hc

“But don’t you see how that’s, like, still very fucked-up behavior, Rowan?” — GET HER JADE

And it’s scary that he thinks he’s completely fine. That this level of stress is normal. That he’s a functioning, well-adjusted human who is able to cope with being one of the most famous musicians in the world with absolutely no help or support whatsoever. — yeah :((

“You kissed him,” Rowan says. “So he decided to climb out of a window and run away.” “I mean, yeah, in summary.” — but no, realistically

Rowan wipes a tear from his eye. “Oh my God. So funny.” He’s properly pissing me off now. — give him a break roseph he's already mentally ill u don't have to embarrass him as well (/lh)

It’s a question I’ve asked myself every day for years. A question I’ve answered in daydreams, in nightmares, in conversations with myself in the shower. A question I still don’t know the answer to, and maybe never will. A question that doesn’t need an answer, now that I know for sure that Jimmy doesn’t like me back. — aaaaaagonyyyyy beyond power of speeeeeeech when the thing that u want is the only thing out of ur reach

“But … the circumstances of our relationship are so challenging. We live in very, very different worlds, and our lives are on very different trajectories. And sometimes I think relationships just can’t survive that.” — JUSTICE FOR LAIMONDI :(

Jimmy fell asleep almost immediately, a feat that would become less and less common as we all got older, but Lister and I couldn’t sleep because we were too busy watching funny YouTube videos on my phone, muffling laughs into our hands, trying not to wake anyone up. — BABY ARK MY CHILDREN

#i annotated this on friday but i've been too busy to write it up #so heyyyy guess who isn't ready to let this week go #anyway. i truly feel ghosted may be one of the best things to ever happen to this fandom #in the absence of iana at least #iwbftreread

[energywarning]

Disorganized thoughts regarding splat3 story mode+ my agents. Perhaps not the best thoughts ever but heyyy *disclaimer i do not take some events too seriously i like comedy . And on the other i extrapolate on silly things tldr im sillay babey sorry for cringe rocking*

-The power eggs that callie gives harper are from either looking around like a dummy or entering some of the kettles and farming eggs on easy missions *orca voice* you are not an authoriz- "ah fuck off robot thing" it works out... somehow

-It was kinda easy to lose track of time because the artificial walls always were sunny so like. 1 week in and harper was p much convinced they were in here for a year somehow

-Ripley kinds of considers "captain" to be a pity title at some point cus thats when ppl started to be big on the idea of having ripley chill the fuck out and like . Do less work Lol. The reasons why theyre Sitting there the whole time almost is bc they were also technically meant to recover from an injury (so the captain cant talk bc theyre shy thing is like a quarter of a lie thing bc yeah they are a little and they mumble often but rn theyre straight up just exhausted Lol) but ultimately callie and marie are like eh Fuck it. we ball cmon captain do your thing re: building that machine thing+ fuzzy stuff elimination LOL . And then they get injured again oops.

- At the beginning of story mode ... harper is like: hey uh. How do we get out of here by the way... since we fell? From above?

No one answers them..

- After the Ending of storymode harper is very clear about 3 things :

1. hey callie hey marie i kind of feel scammed by your grandpa. Like i should be paid a little right. Like at least a little bit.

2. Madam captain person being. Sorry i dont know your name yet- oh its ripley. Ok ripley you are cool thank you for being nice to me while we were down there 👍.

Yes i know that splat3dlc is going to contradict these but for now in my brain this is the funniest thing ever so it is so for now have this:

3. Unless there is a another world ending scenario im not doing any agent work ever again sorry. Or at least for a long long time(is trying to be nice about rejecting the whole agent thing)

-last discussion eight had w ripley b4 splat3 story mode kind of went smth like : callie saying that gramps is looking for another agent... captain isnt going to do much duh injury and all. Well geez what do you mean you're coming with us anyway dont you girls have a life hold on lemme call ripley theyll tell you all abt it.

Ripley: hi darling, hi Alex. No sorry you both are fired actually for now :^) no yeah i know im not actually the one who can fire people i was joking- no i know- ok ok i get it geez. well either way you cant come with us sorry you both are meant to patrol other places so. ok will be back soon in less than a week probably promise

-I also like to think that they were in alterna for like a month and a half or so... but it felt like much longer re: losing track of time

-harper got all the alterna logs etc but they literally dont give a shit about them and forgot the 3/4 of them

-Post story mode Harper kinds of hate/is scared by deepcut ever since the whole attacking them thing but they are very funny about it cus they hide behind ripley when they see any of em sillay individuals but harper is like so much taller than ripley so its like

-Ripley is kind of harper s honorary uncle

-Harper had an awful roommate situation and ultimately they end up. Living w the rest of the agents (they say its only temporary...)

-callie is harper s favorite squid sister

#will add more maybe... #sorry i found most of these funny and god knows i love to have a chuckle or 2. a laff even #sillies #harper(neo3) #eight(8) #alex(4) #callie

[foryoupeko]

How I write the SDR2 cast

Hajime - He’s a thin line of “I’m responsible for keeping my entire class sane” and “I’m 15, I like to do dumb shit”

Chiaki - She’s sleeps all the time and only wakes up to say something useful

Nagito - Spits out awkward (but true) statements with a tinge of depression behind it

Kazuichi: Why isn’t Nagito affected by Peko’s murderous intent?

Nagito: That’s because I don’t understand the concept of self preservation

Fuyuhiko - Wants to be the dad friend but he has the patience of a chihuahua

Peko - Straight man, that’s right people who don’t get comedy jargon, a straight man. Also she has emotions but she doesn’t show it on her face. If I had a nickel for every time someone states she has no emotions or just boils it down to “she likes fluffy things” I could buy the rights to Danganronpa and take Peko for myself.

Kazuichi - Saids the most pathetic things you ever heard from an incel. If I ever need to make a character point out something most ppl would be smart enough not to ask about, I know Kazuichi has my back. Also a fun punching bag for the other characters but not in a mean way.

Sonia - I really don’t know her personality at all. I think it’s weird that in the DR3 anime Chiaki was the one trying to keep the group together, when that was Sonia’s ONE role in chapter 2. Like why the fuck did we give Sonia’s one gimmick to Chaiki? IDK I technically didn’t watch the DR3 anime so maybe I’m wrong.

Gundham - If you can ever decipher what he saids, he’s actually a tsundere mom friend

Nekomaru - Enabler / Hypeman

Akane - No impulse control. Also dumb because of trauma and no formal education.

Ibuiki - Saids really batshit crazy things, she has ADHD so no context needed for anything

Hiyoko - If I need someone to be mean for no reason, Hiyoko will go up to bat

Mikan - She cries a lot. I don’t really find the “Mikan get bullied” jokes funny. I think she’s also unhinged and talks about torture quite a bit. I feel like she’s a psychopath but we all ignore it because the franchise does her dirty so we give her a pass. The whole “she’s a nurse because she likes to feel superior to her patient” is a big pill to swallow. 

Mahiru - Honestly if I need a character to be a nag, sexist, or a lesbian, Mahiru will get screentime. Overall Mahiru pisses me off but I think that’s because I’m genderfluid and her views on gender is problematic at best. The only way I like writing her is if she has an unrequited crush on Peko but I know making the lesbian fall for the unobtainable straight girl is problematic so I don’t want to do that.

Fuyuhiko: *explains the whole Peko and Kuzuryu dynamic* And that’s why Peko did what she did… 

Mahiru: You know. Boys are supposed to protect girls

Fuyuhiko: I know, I should’ve protected both you and Peko

Mahiru: Who cares about me? I mean nothing to you! Why didn’t you protect Peko??? She deserved better!!!

Hiyoko: (slowly realizes that between Sato and Peko, Mahiru probably has a thing for strong women)

Imposter - Real MVP dad friend. Always asking if everyone has snacks and having fun.

Teruteru - As a horny asexual, I write Teruteru horny but not nasty. He will say gross things but never follow thru with any of them.

Teruteru: Yes I will trick Sonia into giving me beej. Oh shit she’s taking me seriously. I gotta bail.

#danganronpa #sdr2

[bright-and-burning]

thank u for the tag @monacotrophywife this took. too long to get around to lol

15 questions !!

are you named after anyone? my govie name no but eve yes! it’s my great grandma’s. my dad’s family has a kind of idk policy where your first name is Yours but your middle name is from somebody else. so my siblings and cousins and i have Original Names (not original as in like mackayleigheey just original as in not somebody else’s already. bc believe me some of our names are BASIC) and our middle names are all from grandparents + further back.

when was the last time you cried? i’ve been on the verge of tears a LOOOOOT lately. and i shed like five tears last week. but like Really cried was like january 11th ish when i moved out. i’ve had this stuffed rabbit since i was ~2 and my parents bought a perfect duplicate like the second month id had it bc i was so attached that they were like. we can NOT lose it and not have a backup (despite this i called both the same name). so i packed up one rabbit to take with me to my first solo apartment as a Real Adult and left one in my childhood bedroom. and that fucked me up soooo bad lol like the idea of here’s kid eve and here’s adult eve diverging paths… anyways.

do you have kids? i fuckin better not

what sports do you play/have you played? soccer, taekwondo, dance (ballet and tap for ~10 years) if you count that, running, a little bit of figure skating but like bootleg (aka my dad teaching me or me teaching myself w second hand skates) uhhhh. i feel like im forgetting something. oh gymnastics when i was very small. they had a lot of like, free/reduced cost sports opportunities for poor kids in my city so i’ve done a lot of things lol. owned a lot of second/third/fourth hand sports equipment over the years. if you’re in america (i cannot guarantee this exists anywhere else) and you’re in need of expensive sports equipment for cheap (or you’re looking to donate old sports equipment!) find yourself a play it again sports they came THROUGH for me and my siblings as a bunch of athletic poor kids

do you use sarcasm? frequently irl. probs less so online bc i don’t feel like it carries very well lol

what is the first thing you notice about people? hair!!!!! but otherwise it varies a lot. my favorite way to interact w ppl for the first time is to find something to compliment them on so i’m usually scanning everything to find like, oh they’ve got cool hair, cool tattoos, funky shoes, a fun patterned scrunchie, whatever.

what is your eye color? i Technically have heterochromia. but mostly green, i just have one solid brown stripe across my left eye

scary movies or happy endings? i don’t like Most Horror in general (tho i do fuck with a psychological thriller or black comedy movie a la the menu or last night in soho) so i’m gonna say happy endings

any talents? is it rude to say lots. lol. painting is probably my most “surprising” one. i can also still passably tap dance despite it being nearly 10 years since i stepped foot in a real studio. speed reading is another one; for some novels (shoutout pratchett for writing the world’s most readable and engaging novels) i was averaging like 550 wpm

where were you born? los angeles, baby. city of angels. la la land. tinseltown. etc

what are your hobbies? i am very good at picking up new hobbies and very bad at sticking with them for very long (until i get reinvested for like three weeks before dropping again etc). right now probably baking is the big one? writing. i’m trying to get back into painting this week actually!! we’ll see if i succeed

do you have any pets? my apartment is unfortunately pet free :( but my family pets are WONDERFUL. i have a dog who is a pitbull-corgi-mutt (so literally picture a corgi butt, legs, and the floppy baby corgi ears, plus a fat pitbull body, skull, and smile), and an orange cat :)

how tall are you? 5’0 on a good day

favorite subject at school? MATH!!!!! god bless math everybody. i had optional math homework in high school and sometimes when i was really annoyed w my other work i would procrastinate by doing the optional math work lol

dream job? i mean if anyone wants to step up and be my patron so i can oil paint photorealistic fabric folds all day… no but uhh what i do rn is my “realistic” dream job. my unrealistic but still technically feasible dream job is sports analytics. and my totally infeasible and impossible dream job is Art.

i’m gonna be honest i am so deeply behind on this that i think everyone has done it already. but if you haven’t and you’d like to, please consider yourself tagged <3

#tag game #not to say that art is an infeasible career #just that i like art and data equally and have not had like basically Any training in art #so obviously i chose the thing i liked the same amount (data/math/cs) that i could turn into a career significantly more easily

[ackerslut]

Tell me ur fav vat7k fics

I’m hungry for bedtime story but I can’t eat your fic yet bc it will melt my mind and I’m already melty on the edges just knowing it’s there and I’m waiting

YES YES OK I GET TO RANT ABOUT MY FAVORITE FICS!! I'm not going to include my favorite longfics because you specifically asked for a bedtime story.

(s)wing and miss by @aziraphalesbookkeeper is the only (?) wingfic in the fandom I've read and it's CUTE AND FUNNY AS FUCK.

This one has six chapters but also how to train your werewolf is in the same vein of FUNNY AND CUTE and fucking unique when it comes to varigo werewolf fic.

this collection of oneshots by @cayenneavocado makes me insane if you just wanna sit down and read through a bunch of SITUATIONS. A fun mix of angst and comedy and I don't think any of them are connected so you can just pick what you want! Anyway read all of them 🔫

hello my old heart by iza (don't know their blog handle!! </3) was the first varigo fic I ever read!! And still absolutely my favorite oneshot!

Lesson in Luxury by @varibean is two chapters in and ALREADY MAKING ME EAT DRYWALL. Head the trigger warnings but it's SUCH A GOOD READ.

Moving Through a Portal of Two Green Eyes by @sundropsapphic!!! You ever wanna see Varian go through A Scenario. Like really see him DEAL WITH HIS TRAUMA?? Yeah this is the fic for you. Also Nuru's in it =P

The Simple Act of Scraps Unravelling by @hybrix-hidings (hope I'm @ing the right blog here bestie) is the Hugo fell first but Varian fell harder manifesto and I'm losing my mind.

Darling, so It Goes (Some Things Are Meant to Be) by @littlemisslol-fic was her submission for varigo week and ITS!! SO!!! CUTE!!! Y'all ever just wanna MACRODOSE on a varigo proposal?? WELL HERE'S SEVEN CHAPTERS OF IT.

Gonna also rec one of my own fics bc I giggle and kick the air whenever I reread this one bc like ninety percent of it is just based off the groupchat vibes me and some of my friends have. Anyway vampires discord fic.

THERES SO MANY MORE GOOD FICS THAT MY MUTUALS AND PPL I FOLLOW HAVE WRITTEN AND IM SURE IM MISSING SOME but these are the ones that come immediately to mind! HAVE FUN AND PLS GET SOME SLEEP DARLING <3

#theres a ton of smut oneshots that i also adore but idk if thats what ur looking for LKASJADFK #when i say NOT A LONGFIC i mean its seven chapters or under #ANYWAY #I LOVE ALL OF THESE FICS AND ALL OF THESE WRITERS #AND THERES SO MANY MORE OF YOU #EVERYONE BRINGING THEIR FUCKING A GAME TO VARIGO FR #varigo #varigo fic recs #mutual attack

[powerpolyculeshowdown]

I JUST WOKE UP AND THEN RUSHED OVER HERE WHEN I SAW FHE TIME . ORV !!! PLEASE … THEY ARE SO ??!?!?!??!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING PPL…. WHY R YALL SO DISASTROUS…. WHY R YALL SO BISEXUAL ….. WHY R YALL SO OBSESSED W EACH OTHER….. their dynamic is so funny too idk, they’re like a comedy trio. idk how to express how funny they are, they r idiots… idiots in love but like they’re idiots… i don’t know how to explain. they are just??? they’re just silly okay. they are goofy and silly. they are idiots and fools and love each other so much.

they always seem like they’re attacking each other BUT they are just a mess it’s fine. it might just be kdj misinterpreting yjh’s actions once again bc kdj thinks he understands but at the same time he really doesn’t if that makes sense, and hsy is just too emotionally constipated in the “i don’t care about him, no not at all, yes i do hate kim dokja. why am i trying to save him? well. fuck you. you can’t question me like this” way like girl why are you so defensive abt it it’s okay you can care about someone like i’d say yjh is at least a smidge better bc he at least tries to make it clear that he DOES care abt kdj (the fool) (btw i find it funny that kdj just ends up with extremely important bonds w two emotionally constipated losers and he’s like “god these two need to confront their feelings more” as if he isn’t also as emotionally constipated just in a different way)

ARGHH i had this whole rant for yjh and kdj’s relationship but i realized it might ruin a part of the novel bc their relationship is just so integral to the story?????? just note that yjh cares so much for kdj, kdj affected and changed yjh so much. kdj loves yjh, it’s important, impersonal, he understands yjh and he doesn’t understand yjh, it’s sacred and ordinary love. if i try to explain why or how it’ll ruin part of the plot but just,, know. it is that. the barrier between protagonist and reader. (also this extends to hsy too, kdj just creates this barrier between himself and others in general and it annoys hsy and yjh SOOO much) hsy and kdj’s relationship is also important so idk how much i’ll say on that topic but like, what if lonely selfish people came together what would happen. and also i’m not actually finished with the novel so i’m not qualified to talk abt yoohan.

in conclusion: what if yoohankim was people saving each other over and over. what if they were each other’s salvation and couldn’t have survived and lived without each other. what if they were each other’s demise, the reason for this tragic cycle. what if they cared, so. so much that they would sacrifice anything and everything for each other. what if their relationship as a whole was so important to them. what if they were each other’s comfort. what if they gave the world to each other. what if. is it so wrong for them to want? is it so wrong for them to just want to hug and find such an ordinary love within each other? is it so wrong for me to want that for them? why are they so devoted to each other it makes me SICK in the head.

(sorry this is so long, it’s taken me over 2 hours to write this and it is still incomprehensible. i think orv just makes me so sick in head in general. help me. i feel like that one thing like girl help im an orv fan, we’re insane.)

girl help i never read orv and im becoming insane about them

#ppspropaganda #long post

[foxtriestobiteandmaimandkilland]

Oh my god my mum doesnt understand the internet its so funny 😭 i usually tell her small things abt jrwi like "remember that one old man i told u abt? Yea he made a funny joke" or small bits like that and nothing too long just bc shes a person wholl listen. This time i told her how at one point gill does a whole bit of the water ph being wrong and too alkaline BUT he says its about a 6.8 WHICH is acidic and i was just pointing out 2 her like. Wow look its a tiny meaningless mistake isnt that funny anyways. But she did a whole thing of like oh you should tell the creators of this podcast that. And i was like. No what its a 2 year old video with thousands of views where a single comment would be worthless and also its such an unimportant moment it doesnt matter. And she just went on n on abt how i should fuckin reach out 2 thw fucking. Jrwi team. To tell charlie fucking slimecicle that he made a minor error 2 years ago whilst doing improv comedy. And then to change the subject i was like anyways i decided itd b fun 2 record a list of gills titles bc i like making lists even if they already exist. And she went on 2 be like ah yes well theyd probably like tp hear that too creators love hearing from their fans. And im like. Mother. Listen. Im not going to fuckin idk get a twitter account. To contact once again rhe jrwi team. With a list of gills titles in order. Because other ppl have fucking done that. This is just 4 me like. Idk its just silly. Anyways yeah

#day thoughts #jrwi #i wish there was a way 2 make a post thats like #idk ppl can see it but also forget it exists immediately after #this is when i wanna b talking 2 a stone wall rn #but also i want 2 keep tags 4 organizational purposes like mann