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anxious-winter-walker · 2 years

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Ya know when you make a choice and you're like-

"yeah this seems right, sure last time I came to a similar juncture in the past it didn't pan out...but it did that one time! So yeah let's do this again!"

And then bam, it doesn't pan out like you'd imagined it.

Now you sit there like a fool marinating in your mistakes, the stench of misery clinging to you, and man does it stink.

Ya know what I mean?

#i fucked it all up #i could have just stayed home #and watched bo Burnham #but noooo #i said yes to going somewhere #and now I'd really like to go home

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shannonsketches · 1 month

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Why is the anime so weird, it's not even the same series dude?? It's like,

Anime:

GOKU: I have a great idea to bring peace to the universe, and my leadership and compassion alone will unite us all. I have No Flaws and am A True Relatable Everyman :)

VEGETA: NO! I AM THE BEST AND I WILL CAUSE PROBLEMS UNTIL I AM RECOGNIZED AS SUCH!!!!

Manga:

GOKU: Vegeta what's cornmeal made of? I know it's what the corn eats, but what's it made of? VEGETA: Hey Kakarot let's play the quiet game until one of us dies.

#silly hours #I do not understand this writing it's so bad aklsdlkasjd #Toei wants Goku to be Clark Kent SO bad and he SO isn't lmao #they're so good and dumb and rounded and complex in the manga what is the anime so afraid of #Toriyama said 'no no this man is a detached faux-immortal who has a dear pure heart but he's childlike and selfish even though he's kind'#and toei went 'got it goku's never done anything wrong ever in his life'#toriyama said 'Vegeta's gone through a lot and he's finally settling into his more mature leadership role with the confidence he's earned'#and toei said 'got it vegeta has the confidence of a high school bully except now he can interact with his family as a comedy bit'#girl hWHAT #Toei trying to group Goku and Vegeta as two people who would rather train than be with their families and Toriyama said NO Vegeta wants #to be HOME this is the first time in years that he's HAD ONE and it makes him HAPPY to be with his wife and children!!#Vegeta trains so that he can protect the things he doesn't want to lose again and Goku trains because it's the thing that makes him happies #They are NOT the same lmao And yeah Vegeta still wants to beat Goku but he also knows that Gohan could dogwalk both of them if he wanted #He also knows Trunks and Goten are going to surpass them it's not about being the best anymore he's past that he just wants to Not Need Gok #He just doesn't want to have to rely on Goku to save the day he wants to be Enough on his own he just wants to know he can be #because every time it's mattered he WASN'T and people he loved were lost to his inability to protect them and he carries that #Like Whis diagnosed him with anxiety and cptsd out in the open and Beerus said he was self-centered for feeling guilt #+ he lowkey enjoys the rivalry it keeps him goal-oriented so he can't get complacent and lazy which is what triggered his Buu Saga breakdow #realized how Fucked Up it was that having a home and loving family made him feel like he was failing and went 'wait no I won actually??'#now he's chill as fuck in the manga. cool confident leader.#and sometimes he is childish and dumb with Goku as a treat #you know what rocks about his rivalry with Goku in Super though is that it's Playful. Vegeta is learning how to Play.#You ever seen a shelter dog get introduced to a really playful dog and it takes a minute for the shelter dog to understand it's safe here #And then they're both running around the backyard playing hot potato with one braincell?? That's Goku and Vegeta's relationship #and the way the anime sleeps on that dynamic is so fucking criminal especially when it's literally canon it's in print it's out there #you had the playbook how'd you fumble it this bad #anyway that's my 25+ year blorbo thoughts I love Geets a lot okay #And I love Goku in the manga a lot I'd forgotten that he's actually a great character when Toei's not fucking up his whole vibe

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mattodore · 3 months

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a little update on what i've been doing in the sims lately! don't mind the huge walls of text for once i'm saying things in the post instead of the tags lmao

matthias's scars are very slowly coming along! i really love his left leg scar but can't really show all of it because i'd have to get him naked for that and it also wraps around his leg. um, but it starts at the side of his hip and carves down at an angle before abruptly following a steep line to the back of his calf. it looks gnarly which is exactly what i'm trying to achieve with matthias's scars! i'm also pretty pleased with the scars on his wrists and side, but the scar he has on the back of his right leg is... a little too crunchy? i don't know, it just looks weird. it's kind of hard to get the scars i'm making to look good on matthias's body. especially scars that're smaller or delicate... like the instant loss of quality makes me want to chew on exposed wires. but that's where i've left off on them! his arms and back are where he has the most damage but my god... it's SO difficult trying to get scars to look nice over his biceps and back muscles. also the hair ties i made for him look nice on his wrist <3

theo's apartment is also finally in the works. i've got the base layout finished and a general idea of what all the rooms are for. building and decorating isn't actually that daunting to me, surprisingly—instead, what's actually causing me a lot of grief is the realization that this is too big for theo to really be comfortable in. so, i was thinking, okay, that's fine, just get rid of three of the rooms and scale down the living area. only to pause and take into account the fact that theo's parents pay for this. they're controlling and also very big on appearance so i'm not sure they'd be fine with their son living in a shoebox—i mean, what would people say if word got to them that he doesn't even have a walk-in closet? like... that's the kind of people they are. but i wanted theo to feel comfortable in his apartment so now i'm feeling conflicted on how i want it to look. i'm definitely going to scale down the bedrooms and the living area... but it'll still feel too big to theo. there are just too many corners for him to ever fully let his guard down... which, hm... well, maybe that fits the story more anyway.

this is his general aesthetic for the interior btw... i want it to be brown, cream, and green all throughout the apartment with splashes of orange (this mix between his old dorm and his childhood home but with something new blending it together). i really wanted him to have stained glass windows in his kitchen and bathroom but couldn't find any </3 so sadly that's not happening. and i need to find a nice curio cabinet for his collection of bells... along with bells too lmao. but that's where i'm at so far! i'm seriously going to just sit here in build mode for hours just... trying to figure out how to make this place more comfortable for theo. like it's supposed to be where he feels safe but it's just too much rn.

#river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #also if anyone has any tips on getting scars or other skin details to look good let me know please...#i'd love to try projection painting again but my laptop is too slow and i can't get opengl to function on my desktop </3 #like i get an error every time i try to open matthias's .obj and even reddit is failing me on a fix for it <///3 #and okayyy theo's apartment!! i'm so torn up abt it now #but does his bed not look super fucking comfortable...#i might have to change his bed to that queen bed in the guest room just because the one in theo's room is... interestingly colored.#i'm going to recolor it to just plain white/cream sheets... and maybe mess with the mesh a bit. really i should test the bed in game #bc i'm not sure it'll work very well...#i wanted theo to have a wooden headboard but all of the ones i had like that just didn't look like he could nestle into them #he's just. a little guy. if i can't picture theo curling up in the center of the bed then it just won't work #but yeah. that’s my update ☝️#........i'm super excited to start on the home matthias buys shortly after he starts falling in love with theo btw #the floor plan in my head is so beautiful and it's all very open... bc <3 matthias was thinking abt putting theo in his home from the jump #long post

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expatesque · 11 days

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Well ladies (gn), it might have been unexpected but funemployment isn't starting off too bad.

#I was fired! Truly unexpected and truly proof that April is not my month!#(the break-up was last April)#anyway i was not passionate about investing which is true but also stupid because they were happy with my work #they kept telling me they knew I'd be spectacular at any job I wanted but they could tell i didnt really want this one #which is vaguely true but like i enjoyed it enough. i probably would have left in about a year but #for once! i would like a few months! where do i not have to make a life changing decision!!!#I'd like to just live for a bit!!#so I'm home now going to travel going to italy going to read and write and we'll see #s narrates her life #truly April 23-24 has been like... Blow up your life 2k19 HARD MODE #and more like have your life blown up really #c'est la vie #they're paying me for six months so I cant actually complain complain #it's the sabbatical i wanted but better because im being paif #paid*#but worse because im unemployed haha

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queenbananya · 4 months

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I FINISHED IT.

Cactus Bloom (51427 words) by Queenbananya Chapters: 11/11 Fandom: Buddy Daddies (Anime) Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Kurusu Kazuki/Suwa Rei, Kurusu Kazuki & Suwa Rei & Unasaka Miri Characters: Kurusu Kazuki, Suwa Rei, Kugi Kyuutarou, Unasaka Miri Additional Tags: Pre-Canon, catching up to end of canon, Getting Together, Bathing/Washing, Healing, in the form of caring for Rei, Haircuts, ace spec Rei, POV Kurusu Kazuki, Fluff, Dancing, Slow Dancing, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Light Angst, Non-Consensual Drug Use, on a random person/small scene, Literal Sleeping Together, Canon-Typical Violence, Slow Burn, Mild Sexual Content, Canon Compliant Summary:

Kazuki fell first. He also fell harder.

Or, KazuRei throughout the years.

#buddy daddies #kazurei #qb's fic tag #ahh today has been so stressful #I'd been looking forward to sitting down to update this fic but no #had to deal with work bs #then gas leaks at home #and now I have no hot water and it's freezing outside #and I'm paranoid feeling like I still smell gas #when it's just cat litter #please let it be cat litter #I'm going to treat myself to a 1000 calorie ice cream when all this is resolved #anyway I'm really happy with this chapter #I had some plans for a post-canon sequel back when I'd just started writing this but unlikely to happen at this point

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helennorvilles · 7 months

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it's interesting looking back on dale's apartment (cozy and warm and filled with SO much personality) and then knowing that when they move in together, you don't see much of a change to helen's house. you don't really see any dale in there.

#i'd be interested to see how he fully decks out his new house in season 3 (if we get to see it......)#but anyway my instinct right now is that much like they are professionally #dale just.... defers to helen #of course i love the dom helen sub dale jokes as much as the next gal #and i don't think it's necessarily purposeful from helen #and im sure dale isn't really..... fighting back for lack of a better term to have things be different #it is just..... so rare that we see dale Actually go against helen. we get a little bit in season 2 ofc #i want to see more. they need to be more comfortable doing that complete opposite with each other.#but still..... so much to consider here really #i do want to study helen's home in season 2 for the specific changes though. this is just a general observation still.#my post tag #nia watches the newsreader #the newsreader spoilers #the newsreader

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airenyah · 5 months

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no but when mhok told day to think of his plate as a clock and told him where on the clock the food was that really reminded me of one of my favorite movies from when i was in middle school which is also about blind people and where the title of the movie itself is a reference to thinking of the plate as a clock: it's called "erbsen auf halb 6" which literally translates to "peas at half past 5" (yes, "halb 6" means "half past 5", yes the numbers are different, don't worry about it)

the plot of the movie is a theater director losing his eyesight in a car accident and him being a director who kinda needs to see what's going on on stage he really doesn't take his sudden loss of vision very well. he gets assigned a helper/mentor, a lady who is blind herself and who's been blind since birth and is supposed to help him adapt to a life with disability. he ultimately runs away from her when he learns that his mother is sick to go find his mother in russia and say goodbye before she dies. his helper/mentor chases after him and they end up on a travel adventure together

it's been over a decade since i last saw the movie but i think at some point they eat and they talk about how the peas sit on the plate where it would be half past 5 on a clock?? anyway, that moment with mhok and day at the restaurant where mhok tells him the position of day's food with the help of an analog clock really reminded me of that movie

edit: i went to look for the trailer of that movie and i found the scene in question!! turns out they're at a restaurant and the helper/mentor character goes "if you imagine the plate as a clock... what numbers is the food lying on?" and the waitress is all confused going "i'm sorry?"

there are no eng subs for the trailer buuut the moment is at the very end at 2:11:

youtube

see it's a real movie i didn't just make it up kjdfkjdfk

#god i need to rewatch that movie so bad it's been so long since i last saw it #i actually thought about this movie only recently!!#bc these two italian erasmus students were asking for german movie recs and i told them about this one #and now the scene with day and mohk at the restaurant reminds me of it too and #now i just feel this strong urge to go rewatch it #i vividly remember many scenes but there is no connection between them djgdkfjkfdg #i should really rewatch it during christmas break i think we have it on dvd???#bc my mom found it in the library and we liked the movie a lot and i think she ended up buying it #i gotta check my parent's dvd shelf when i go home for christmas in a week #airenyah plappert #last twilight #lt ep5 #adrm #no but that movie also had this feature where they had an accessible version of it for people with low/no vision!!!!#which was the first time i'd ever seen a feature like this‚ up until that point i didn't know it existed #(i was like 12 or 13 or so i think when i first watched that movie)#(and (pre-)teen me thought it was really cool)

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pokimoko · 1 month

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The One-Way Waltz of the Moth and the Wild Flame (and the Incident of the Authorial Intrusion) - A Good Omens Fic

Written by pokimoko

Chapters: 1/1

Word Count: ~25K

Fandom: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Nina (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens) & Original Character(s)

Characters: Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale (Good Omens), Muriel (Good Omens), Original Characters, (who is technically not an original character but I've got to keep some secrets ;) ), Nina (Good Omens), Background & Cameo Characters

Summary: A story in which Crowley does not prevent forest fires, a radio sends out thoughts and prayers, an angel misuses the emergency contact, the local duck population invents socialism, trees are threatened to varying degrees of success, a waltz is indeed played, and an author considers the nature of tragedies.

Tags: Ineffable Divorce | Aziraphale and Crowley Break Up (Good Omens), Post-Break Up, POV Crowley (Good Omens), Emotional Hurt, He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), They/Them Pronouns for Muriel (Good Omens), Crowley & Muriel Friendship (Good Omens), Angst and Humor, Crowley-centric (Good Omens), Canon Continuation, Post-Season/Series 02, Post-Episode: s02e06 Every Day (Good Omens), Pre-Season/Series 03, No Aziraphale Slander Here but it is also Crowley's POV so expect at least some Thoughts, Angry Crowley (Good Omens), Running Away, Both in the Emotional and Literal Sense, Because You Don't Have to Deal with Your Romantic and Personal Issues in Washington State. Obviously, (incorrect: you very much do), Crowley is a Mess (Good Omens), (even if he won't admit it), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), (another thing he won't admit), Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), They're just being stupid, Not A Fix-It, References to God(s), Romantic Angst, America, United States, Fire Lookout, Remember Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires (Unless You Are Anthony J. Crowley), hey is it healthy to repeatedly relive a past trauma to deal with a breakup? asking for a friend, Scene: The Bookshop Fire (Good Omens), Fire, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Isolation, When You're Trying to Cope Badly in the American Wilderness but People Keep Talking to You, Radio, Inspired by Firewatch (Video Game), Character Study, Crowley and the Woes of Being In a Narrative That Won't Let You Go, (Fleabag voice) This is a Tragedy, But oh? What's this?, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ambiguous/Open Ending

#good omens #crowley #crowley good omens #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #aziraphale x crowley #fanfic #my fanfic #my fic #ao3 fanfic #my writing #good omens fic #good omens fanfiction #good omens fanfic #gomens #gomens fic #hey good omens fandom. long time listener. first time caller. i thought i'd dip my toes in writing one of my fav characters #going from a 14th doctor fic straight to this was very funny because like. it's the same actor. similar mannerisms. almost the same voice #but they couldn't be any more different. move over 'weeelll' we've got 'ngk' and 'ngh' now #this story was an absolute joy to write. it was so fun getting to write in a style somewhat similar to the good omens book #like the fic is still perfectly angsty trust me but boy was it fun to be a little bit funny with it #also apologies for the long arse title. my brain decided that a good omens fic needed a really long and ridiculous name #to everyone who already knows me: yep. i'm writing a story with radios again. it's either ghosts or radios or both guys i'm sorry #different fandom. same old ideas #i am also furthering my brand that is writing long as heck oneshot fics. chapters? haven't heard of 'em #fyi crowley is literally the only character who shows up in this fic in person. everyone else is pure audio baby #'tis the isolated life of a fire lookout. even if that's the only part of the job that crowley's doing correctly #(the demon is...going through it folks. don't try this at home)

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rimouskis · 3 days

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I am genuinely upset about Andi! WTF is FSG doing? She's one of the best in the entire league! The pens online presense was top tier but with ITR gone last year, and now Andi, I don't have any idea what their plans are. Please let Jen be safe! I'm sure Andi will find a place. I'm not too worried for her. The Pens media department tho

I really wish her the best in whatever she does next. She was at the helm at the peak of the Pens' social media engagement and prominence, and while that fell off as she ascended the ladder and became a VP/further removed from the day-to-day posting, I think she did a ton of good work here.

I'll be very interested in how the department reconfigures in her absence. There seem to be a lot of power vacuums right now, with lots of people with long tenures at the Pens departing. Part of me hopes there's a chance for young blood; other teams have been doing more innovative, more curious, and more creative stuff in terms of their media. While losing legacy employees is a loss, I can only hope that there's an infusion of youthful, out-of-the-box thinking coming our team's way. It's the best we can hope for.

#I'd be galled if jen were let go frankly. like sure no one is too high up to be safe w/e but she is HIGH UP #and she's very ingratiated w/ the players (think about geno's “I want to go home jen” lol)#while I don't doubt andi was a familiar face to them I think they rely on jen a *lot*.#I think about her interview she did where she said she thought of some of them (kris/sid/g) as her kids lol #but also I thought andi was safe when I read the announcement today so clearly this is all conjecture and I don't claim to KNOW anything #I think our media has been falling behind in the past several years admittedly.#it's hard because I *did* join the fandom when the team was at its peak and I think that makes media/fan engagement easier. you're a winner #but I think it's just a matter of fact that we are not as cutting edge as we once were on our socials #the loss of ITR blows and I'm still mad at FSG for that #but I think they have a chance now to prove they care about getting back to innovation. I don't know that I trust them to execute it though #also I don't want this to be a critique of andi. especially when she's freshly off of losing her role.#this is more about the org itself needing to refocus on being innovative.#they've been a bit too comfortable in a lot of aspects in the past few years. having been to more arenas now and seeing more teams do thing #I have found it easy to say it feels like other teams/orgs are TRYING harder.#seattle puts on a show every game. their in-arena partners are cool. they have live music before every game. they have a freakin' drum line #y'know? pittsburgh had.... a really annoying train airhorn this season that they abandoned halfway through lol #the spirit of innovation has been gone for a few years now. if this gets it back... well we'll all be lucky IF that happens.

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anglerflsh · 9 months

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my no good very bad 17 days at a seaside town (of which I still have eight to go)

#[.txt]#self #not having fun not playing i want to go home #i thought I'd like the sea a lot more I used to love swimming and now it's just really boring #at least when I go on walks I can listen to music like. h.#I reiterate NOT having fun NOT playing I am so tired all the time from being around people almost 24/7 I can't fucking take this #not even 'people' specifically 'people I find extremely annoying'

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softceleste · 7 months

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The fact I honestly thought I'd pull off playing College Craze and being normal about it, and then less than a week later I've already played it multiple times, made a duel MC au, a Pinterest board, and recreated some of the PopMe pages, is genuinely not lost on me.