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currywaifu · 4 years

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: scouting dilemma 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: hyodo juza/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 1.7k words

𝐚𝐧: guess who was inspired by the 2020 gem heist? wrote a dumb little thing dedicated to all my fallen comrades bc juza won’t come home to them after the reset- sorry to the requests I have yet to fulfill! year 2 ages btw~

This was the moment you’ve been waiting for. You managed to save up a massive amount of gems, waiting to be spent on a banner with your best boy in it. For months, your fingers itched to pull but you were loyal (with a few caving exceptions) to the character who got you into the game in the first place.

When the developers finally announced a banner with him in it, an SSR of best boy in a summer outfit no less, it was as if fate decided to tell you now was the moment to splurge strike.

9:58 pm.

Staring at your phone screen, you made sure everything was prepared before you could summon. You decided to do your first pull at 10 pm (his favourite number was 10), and surrounded your phone with a summon circle made entirely out of candies still in their wrappers.

9:59 pm.

You sent your prayers to the gacha gods, counting down the seconds until the clock struck-

10:00 pm.

With a shriek, you nearly ruined your summon circle formation of sweets as you scrambled to your phone, clicking the bright, shiny button that had tempted you endlessly.

“Yes, I’m sure I want to spend! Come home, come home, come home…” you chanted, unable to decide whether you should close your eyes until the final results or keep them wide open.

Choosing the latter, you gritted your teeth at the sequence of cards arriving.

R, Event R, R, R, Dupe SR, R, R, R, R, Event SR.

Suppressing the scream that wanted to escape your throat, you tried to laugh it off. At least you got two of the event cards…? Maybe it would have been better to wait until 10:10 pm?

An SNS notification popped up at the top of your screen, and from the little summary, you could tell you were gonna get upset at the contents. Checking the chat, your mutual quickly followed up her message with a screencap of your best boy. Coming home to her.

You quickly sent your response before promptly returning to the game, ‘asdfghjkl im happy for u but like also muting u rn :’< brb soon hopefully yeet need to retrieve my boi from the game’s clutches cya’

Despite your initial optimism, as the pulls kept going, the lower your gem count, the worse your mood became.

Should… should you stop right now? Banner really said no rights to best boy, huh? Sure you were able to fully merge a bunch of SRs and even the event R and SR cards, but not once did he come home? Even his sworn rival’s initial SSR came home if only to spite you or him or both.

Mentally exhausted, you decided to sleep. Maybe your luck would be better tomorrow?

When you walked into the room with a frown visible on your face, Juza immediately knew something was wrong.

From even before he got together with you, he was always sensitive to the different expressions you made, and by association your emotions— to the little smile on your face as you ate desserts together or the eyebrow furrow-pout combo you did when the professor said something you didn’t agree with. He’d never say how fun it was, seeing the different faces you’d make.

However, while those were cute, this just made him worry.

He’d really rather not fight anyone, but if he has to beat up someone…

Juza found himself distracted during class, unable to stop himself from constantly looking at you every few minutes. With a faint peach staining his cheeks, he slipped his hand underneath the desk to grasp your own.

“… you okay?” he said, voice low and quiet as to not catch anyone else’s attention. The look on your face turns a little softer, even throwing him a quick smile but he knows you well enough to spot the traces of sadness still present.

You don’t reply, squeezing his hand back as you finally tried to pay attention to the professor.

He sighed, slowly releasing your hand from beneath the table. He’ll find a way to make you feel better later, but for now, he had to take notes— for the both of you, it looked.

It’s not every day that Juza does most of the talking, but that just so happened to be the case today. He’s getting restless, stuck between actively wanting to help you out with whatever you needed or just sticking by you and letting you overcome whatever’s troubling you on your own.

You’ll talk when you want to, he knew that, but even still he wanted to be more useful to you. Do you want him to just keep talking to help you take your mind off things? Do you want to rant to him so he can listen? Do you want him to get you something? He’s not the best at giving advice, but if you needed it he’d do his best.

He doesn’t know what to do. You’re responding to him, but your mind is all the way elsewhere.

The next thing he knew, he’s getting a spoonful of his frozen dessert and pressing it against your lips.

You get startled from your thoughts when a sudden icy temperature meets your mouth. You opened your mouth, cringing slightly at the cool before finally enjoying the shaved ice dessert.

While it wasn’t uncommon for Juza to let you taste the food he ate and vice versa, he was usually more reserved, too shy to feed you in public.

‘He must have been worried,’ you thought to yourself if he had to do that just to catch your attention. You immediately shifted your thoughts from the game to Juza, already about to apologise for troubling him before he interrupted you.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, and even though he had a scowl on his face, he looked at you with tight and worried eyes.

He knew you played games on your phone, but it was still a bit embarrassing to admit that you were upset for such a long duration because of your best boy not coming home. However, Juza deserved to know, so you pushed away your hesitance before explaining the whole fiasco to him.

Juza doesn’t get it entirely. He’s bordering between relief and confusion— on one hand, at least no one wanted to hurt you or fight you or anything; on the other hand, a 2D guy got you upset?

The concept isn’t completely foreign to him, what with Itaru-san and even Settsu constantly gaming, but usually it was his roommate being irritating and gloating while the salaryman got frustrated, eventually passing his phone to Sakuya.

He’s honestly shell-shocked that you’re upset, so even though he doesn’t understand why it’s such a big deal he’ll do what he can to make you feel better. He’s not the best at comforting people, he can never find the right words… but he’s good at listening.

He placed his hand on top of yours, grateful you don’t point it out verbally or he might actually combust. He can only hope the two of you are seated secluded enough that no one comes by.

Something’s starting to bother him though. The more he listens to you, the more he’s conflicted— if you’re dedicating that much of your… gems (?) to this guy he gets why you’re upset. Another part of him wonders what’s so great about this specific guy.

He’s not upset nor is he jealous, he’s just… figuring out what specific traits you like in this guy. For future reference. Who knew, maybe he’d get to play a role similar to the character you like so much?

“Why do you like him so much, anyway?” He asked, staring intently at you.

Your attitude quickly changed from being upset to being excited to talk about your favourite character.

“He’s just so kind and thoughtful! A total gap moe, you wouldn’t expect him to be so family-oriented because of his appearance but he totally is!” you began, barely catching a break to breathe before continuing on, “plus he didn’t start off as the strongest? But he’s constantly trying his best you just want to root for him and care for him?”

Unexpectedly, Juza finds himself a little flustered, though he’s unsure of why when you’re only describing a character. Perhaps it was the look on your face while you talked?

“Plus, he looks a lot like you! Obviously, I need him to come home, right?” you exclaimed, hitting him straight in the heart with your crinkled eyes and a beautiful smile.

The hand that was comforting you a while ago and gently rubbing patterns onto your skin stilled. You noticed right away, hoping you didn’t say anything too weird during your rant.

“Juza?”

He’s silent for a while, unsure of what to do and ultimately deciding to say the first thing that popped up in his head.

“… then why’d you need him to come home if I’m already-“

When he heard you squeal he stopped himself from continuing whatever he was going to say. Did you hear him? Dumb question, of course, you did!

You covered your face with your hands, unsuccessfully hiding the strawberry red colouring your face, and screamed internally. You can’t see how Juza is reacting but you just heard a bang on the table?

‘Juza? Who told you to- istg I’ll have you arrested for-‘

After a few moments, you’re the one who ultimately breaks the silence, knowing neither of you had enough will to point out the warm flecks that still remained on both of your faces.

“We should get going. Our class is all the way in another building,” you said, slowly standing up from your seat.

“… ‘kay.”

You’re not holding hands while walking, but if he noticed the frequency of your hand grazing his he doesn’t let you know.

Reaching the midpoint between your classroom and his, you turn to face him before splitting off in the hallway. You look to see if the coast was clear, and to Juza’s surprise, you enveloped him into a warm embrace, quick but heartfelt. Neither of you saw each other’s expressions, but Juza wondered if your heart raced just as fast as his did.

“Thank you for making me feel better… I love you,” you whisper the last part, before untangling yourself from him and speed walking away to your classroom. You miss the way Juza looks back at you, body frozen but face a mixture of shock and longing and love.

want to order again?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#a3! juza #juza hyodo #hyodo juza #cafe: dessert menu #a3! actor training game #a3! game #a3! x reader #juza x reader

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cheerioss · 5 years

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how to pop the question

hey so life's been keeping me busy lately and im still gonna be crazy swamped with stuff to do so instead of doing chapter 5 of the seamstress au like i originally planned, im gonna write this lil (okay i mean very very long) one shot instead!! this is based on this post by @buginetta i hope you dont mind!! and hope i didnt go overboard??

---

"Alyaaaaaaaaa! Help me! What if he's never gonna ask?!"

This is how Marinette found herself one fine evening after a long day at work. Eating ice cream, in her most comfy pjs, and facetiming her best friend while questioning her relationship with her boyfriend.

"Oh come on, M! You and Adrien are like, heads over heels for each other. Everyone can literally feel the cheesiness from 10 miles away," Alya dismissed quickly, trying to get it in her bestie's head that she has nothing to worry about. Typical Mari.

You see, Marinette and Adrien had been dating for almost 10 years, since they accidentally detransformed in front of each other when they were 15. They've been inseparable. Glued to the hip, literally.

And when both were well into university, Adrien brought up the idea of marriage. They both knew that this was it. They were endgame as everyone says. But Marinette, ever the one to think ahead, wanted to wait till their studies were completed and to be financially stable. Adrien complied, never bringing it up again.

Back to present time, Marinette groaned into her pillow. This happened countless of times before, so Alya was used to the sudden "over-thinking about non-existent crisis" calls as she calls them, OTANEC calls for short. Just Marinette having her usual of nonsensical thoughts, non-stop spiralling with a dose of crazy on the side. Ordinary stuff.

"If you really, so desperately want to be engaged with Sunshine already then you should propose. Really, you shouldn't have to wait for guys to propose."

"Omg Alya yes! That's a great idea!"

"Of course cuz it's mine."

"You're the best!"

"I know."

"Thank you!!"

"Yea, yea but you better let me in on your plan."

"Deal."

---

Two weeks flew by. Marinette was ready so sweep her kitty off his feet--mostly. There was still the pre-proposal jitters that she just cant shake off. She's triple checked everything. Twice! The location, weather(Please be accurate, I'm begging you.), all the itty bitty details. The only thing that can possibly go wrong is an Akuma. Honestly, Hawkmoth doesn't have a schedule or something. Heroes need their beauty sleep and as students their grades! (Thankfully there wasn't one. Thank you Hawkmoth.)

Tick. 6pm: Marinette's pacing. Tikki watches her from her perch beside a stack of cookies. She wishes she could help but Marinette's not gonna listen in her state of creating a road in her bedroom floor . The girl pleads for time to go by faster, faster, faster!

Tock. 6:09pm: Her heart is racing. She opens up her messages again and again, making sure he knows there's a joint patrol tonight. Everytime she sees his reply from 2 night ago, she sighs in relief. Only to open it again a minute later.

Tick. 6:24pm: Hands are shaking, her panic's awaking. Tock. Alya reassures her that everything is fine, but she's like a bomb in a mine.

Tick. 6.50pm: She checks her pocket, where the little black box hides. Tock. She checks again, her thoughts now violent tides. Restless, antsy, going out of her mind. Nervous, rapid breathing, her head's screaming is all she can find. Doubt. Dread. Doom. Oh why, oh why, can't it be just-

Ding! 7pm. The time has arrived. Marinette transforms and races out of the house to do her rounds on her half of the city. She finishes in 10 minutes, a new personal record. She couldn't care less though. There's the weight of her future in her pocket that's just suddenly so heavy. She starts pacing again, waiting for her partner to arrive. Oh gosh, he's taking too long. I'm gonna explode!

Thud. Chat Noir sees his girlfriend and his day just got a hundred times better.

"Wow bugaboo, I've never seen you finish a patrol so fast! What's u-"

But there's something wrong. She's a nervous wreck tonight, eyes impossibly wide with doubt. In fact, her finishing her patrol this quickly probably was the result of it. His cat ears flatten against his messy hair and his expression shifts to one of concern.

"Princess?" He hugs her, noting the way she tenses. As he tugs her down onto the rooftop with him, into his lap and still wrapped up in his warm arms, he asks, "Is everything okay?"

Two seconds passed, before Ladybug wriggles out of his embrace and begins her rambling. He's disappointed at the loss of her warmth, and he has no idea what she is saying as such a speed, but he has a fond smile anyway. God, I love this woman so much.

"And then you are here and look so handsom- Anyway, I have a question."

She pulls out the box, and Chat's eyes widens.

"I forgot my speech but the point is you make my life brighter and I feel like the luckiest human in the world." She opens the box. "Adrien-Chat Noir-Agreste, will you do this Ladybug the honour of marrying her?"

She never got a reply. Only a big, smug, I-won-the-lottery smile on his face, and he is bounding off in the general direction of... his apartment?

---

Ten minutes later, after a emotional roller coaster from confusion to heartbreak, even detransforming to ask Tikki to explain "Just waddaheck is going on?!", Marinette decided that he was not coming back and she was going to go home to cry about it over a tub of chocolate mint ice cream.

Just as she was about to say the magic words though, she sees a silhouette that she knows all too well jumping on rooftoos towards her. She held her tongue, waiting for an explanation for his sudden departure.

Clearly panting, Chat got on one knee and held up an open box. Marinette's vision blurred.

"Sorry i took so long, m'lady, but i had to dig this up from my drawer. Ahem." He clears his thoat and took a deep breath.

"Marinette-Ladybug-Dupain-Cheng. I have been waiting for the time that you are ready. Now that you are... You are the light on my darkest days, my hope, my life. I love you so much i cant express it with all the vocabulary in the French language. It would make this cat the luckiest man in the world if you would be willing to spend the rest of your life with this stray kitty cat. Marinette, Ladybug, m'lady, bugaboo, princess, will you marry me?"

With tears running down her face, Marinette tackled him. Both slipped the rings on each other's fingers, laughing as they shared a loving kiss. Adrien sweared that he will show it off to everyone he knows, even his fans on social media after a few days. Marinette just simply nuzzled into the crook of his neck.

"Let's go to my place to cuddle Chaton. I have a tub of mint choco ice cream waiting for me to devour in happiness. Don't worry, I know how much you love that flavour too so we can share."

And off they went to Marinette's apartment. Hopefully they remember to change some parts of their proposal story together before they tell anyone to prevent any identity reveals.

#mlb #miraculous ladybug #ml #miraculous #miraculoustalesofladybugandcatnoir #adrienette #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #ladynoir

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pettigrw · 6 years

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whats up fellas, its bee again, bringing to You my son peter pettigrew !! i am , ,... v v soft for this boi, i have been writing him for .. over 4 years now ?? wow ???? and im super super excited to bring him to you so !! please love him ( & me ) and without further Ado find out more under the cut

the trees unloose their soft arms from around ( peter pettigrew ) — ( he ) reminds me of ( laughter breaking the stillness of a suburban summer night, coughing on whiskey and cigarettes, running a restless hand through messy blond hair, the soft ticking of a grandfather clock, bruised knuckles stuffed in the pockets of scuffed jeans. the golden rays of the late afternoon sun. quick glances seeking approval, a cheeky grin once it’s been earned. dog eared comic books in a cardboard box under your bed, feet dangling over the edge of the roof, staring down the stars, wanting to be a hero but not quite knowing how ). a ( seventh ) year ( gryffindor ), the ( escapist ) is known for being being ( intuitive ) & ( facetious ), however ( foolhardy ) & ( self-doubting ). rumour has it that the ( seventeen ) year old ( tarjei sandvik moe ) doppleganger is seizing their moment by siding with the ( order ).

pinterest board !!

character insp includes xander harris ( btvs ), adam parrish ( the raven cycle ), peter parker ( mcu ), ron weasley ( am i using a harry potter character as inspiration for another harry potter character? maybe )

peter pettigrew. born in sheffield, england to a muggle father and a magical mother. he lived in a small brick house with old fashioned furniture. his family has always been catholic so he dressed up and went to church every sunday. he was an only child, and it showed – his parents adored him and coddled him from the moment he was born.

perhaps because of this, or perhaps because he was a wizard, he didn’t really click with the muggle kids in his neighbourhood. he was more a mama’s boy, helping his mother dust and vacuum and fold the laundry and set the table for supper every day. his parents were worried that he wasn’t a very social child, and that he wouldn’t make many friends at hogwarts. they even considered holding him back a year, but ultimately decided against it.

but lo and behold, when he went to hogwarts he made friends! remus, sirius and james to be specific. and it was gr8 and they brought out this whole other side of him that he’d never shown before

this mischievous, snarky boy who’ll “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” your mum to her face but just as soon make a “your mom” joke when she’s out of earshot. his smile is either shy and endearing or the cheekiest lil shit-eating grin you’ve ever seen. he’ll laugh at the worst of jokes. fluent in sarcasm. he’s great at seeming more innocent than he is ( a power used for pranks now, but much darker things later ). and yeah, he’s an enabler - his friends do stupid stuff and he doesn’t stop them. but so what? he’s a teenage boy.

his room is surprisingly neat. would never admit it but he kind of likes cheesy cliches ( he’s watched gone with the wind with his mum enough times he can quote it off by heart ). he wants to be a dashing hero like in the dog eared comic books he still has in a box under his bed. wants to sweep a girl off her feet. wants to be something more than the sidekick, at least once. sometimes he’s trying just a bit too hard to impress other people because he cares a lot more about what other people think of him than he likes to let on. slightly self conscious because he had a growth spurt over the summer – he used to be really short but now he’s all long limbs and stupid grins and dimples and tousled blond hair and he’s grown quite attractive but doesn’t realize it thank god. and hey – that’s just part of his charm. because he is charming. he just doesn’t realise it compared to james and sirius.

he compares himself to james and sirius a lot. peter has always been prone to insecure thoughts and nervous tics – during exam season his nails are always bitten down to stubs and his skin breaks out. and in the times he’s feeling particularly unhappy with himself he looks to his friends. and this can go either one of two ways – either they make him better and build him up. and really he should be able to do that himself but he’s always been dependent on other people. always. first his parents, then the marauders. or he’s feeling insecure and he looks to his friends and sees how much better they are than him. how unattainable their status is. and he feels like a useless burden, dragging them down. those are his bad days. but they’re relatively infrequent – at least for now.

he has ways to dispel these thoughts. for one, he drinks. not the best coping mechanism, granted, but whiskey burns his throat and the inside of his chest like the fire he always wished he had burning inside of him, and it makes him feel stronger and it makes him feel braver and his friends are drinking with him and soon they’re all laughing and doing stupid shit together and then the alcohol washes away any doubts peter has. and it’s good.

and sometimes he gets into fist fights. he’s gotten better at it over the years, ever since sirius taught him that your thumb isn’t supposed to go inside your fist. he feels strong when he fights, he feels a reckless sort of freedom that’s as close to confidence as he’ll ever get. and sometimes he picks fights he knows he can’t win, but hey, that’s part of the thrill, right? because he also knows that his friends can bail him out, and he also knows that the black eye he’s going to have in the morning will make him look tougher, and people will fuss over him and ask questions. and it’s good.

if you asked peter what the most important thing in the world is to him, he would say his friends. and he would say his family. not once would it ever occur to him to say himself, or his own health or happiness. and i’ll get into this more later, but when the war begins, peter doesn’t betray his friends for himself, at least not at first. in a weird, twisted, misguided way, he does it for them. but again – i’ll get into that later.

he puts a lot of value on interpersonal relationships. and sometimes, that’s a good thing because he values those relationships and cherishes them, and he’s a wonderful friend and very intuitive. he can always tell if someone’s upset, and he’s a great listener. but also sometimes it’s a bad thing how much value he puts on those relationships. because he builds his own personal value off of them, and off how much people like him and support him. like i said – he’s always been dependent. he doesn’t know any way else to be.

and deep down, peter is an optimist. it’s his fatal flaw. how? because no matter how badly things are going, he thinks to himself that it’ll all turn out fine, in the end. something will happen, in the end. someone will save him, in the end. for instance – he has no idea what he wants to do after hogwarts. and sometimes that worries him, but most of the time he pushes it to the back of his mind. he can think about that later. it’ll turn out fine. and when the war starts, and he gets deeper and deeper involved with the death eaters, he refuses to admit how much it scares him and how big of a problem it’s becoming. because in the end, it’ll turn out fine. it always does for the good guys. he never considers that he may not be one of the good guys.

this probably won’t happen in the course of this rp ( and honestly ??? maybe hopefully never happens -- who knows, its an au rp .. ,,,... ... ) but he gets involved with the death eaters when it’s looking darkest for the order. and victory is looking certain for the death eaters. so he joins them because he has this stupid, stupid, naive hope that if he joins the death eaters, he can convince them to spare his friends when they inevitably win. he does it for them. and deep down, he knows that that’s not gonna happen, but he pushes it to the back of his mind. because it’ll all turn out fine.

[ TW CANCER, DEATH ] this year is the year his insecurity complex starts to come into play – when everything starts to unravel. it’s a slow process, and it begins with peter’s father. see, peter’s father is dying, but he doesn’t know it yet. no one does. it’s during a doctor’s appointment, a month from now, that william pettigrew will be diagnosed with stage ii pancreatic cancer. he won’t make it. he will die before peter graduates from hogwarts.

peter’s mother will not deal with it well. she will retreat into herself, mourning the death of her husband, and peter will be forced to spend most of the summer after his last year caring for her, while struggling with his own grief. suddenly, peter will go from the doting, loving support of both parents to the support of neither.

so he’ll turn to his friends, desperate, seeking validation and support, but they’re each starting their own lives. there’s a war starting, they’re all beginning their own independent lives but peter – remember, peter has always been dependent. and suddenly, his insecurities are making a surprise comeback. the golden years at hogwarts, what peter will later realize were the best years of his life, are gone, and so is the carefree boy peter used to be.

but anyway. that’s the canon future. like i said, au rp, who knows what’ll happen?? could order!peter emerge???? will peter be able to deal with his growing insecurity complex in a healthy way??? stay tuned folks

either way though, right now peter is just a normal teenage boy, impulsive and goofy and self-conscious

#mmnt.intro

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childofeberron · 7 years

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All fifty questions

paige im procrastinating like a champ dont TEST ME

Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen? i like to alternate to keep each colour Fresh

Would you prefer to live in the country or the city? the city but like a small one bc i like internet but i also like being able to bus/walk places

If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? well theres that guitar in my closet that hasnt been touched since i bought it

Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar? more than a normal human amount

What was your favourite book as a child? the harry potter series

Do you prefer baths or showers? showers tbh

If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose? uhhhh a dragon

Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books? paper books bc i can focus better

What is your favourite item of clothing? meme shirts

Do you like your name? Would you ever change it? its okay i guess, if i change it in the future it’ll just be a nickname bc i already legally changed it and that was expensive enough

Who is a mentor to you? i have some Cool Trans Adult Friends locally that are

Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for? ehh EHHH on one hand i’d like to be like, internet famous, because of money, but on the other hand i enjoy privacy and not being shipped with other internet “celebs”. idk what the hell for tho

Are you a restless sleeper? yes

Do you consider yourself a romantic? a bad one but yes

Which element best represents you? dirt

Who do you want to be closer to? all my mutuals on tambler dot corn

Do you miss someone at the moment? mmmm my qp

Tell us about an early childhood memory. once upon a time i fell down a hill on my bike while learning to ride it and i refused to touch my bike for a whole year so i was the oldest of my friends to have training wheels still on

What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i cant think of anything???

What can you see outside your bedroom window? my tree starting to bud!! also the houses across the street

What are you most thankful for? my bf & friends

Do you like spicy food? NO

Have you ever met someone famous? not really? ive met some comic/webcomic artists tho

Do you keep a diary or journal? no lmfao i forget about them after day 2

Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pencil bc i fuck up a lot

What is your star sign? taurus!

Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? the mid-point between crunchy and soggy so it doesnt hurt my teeths

What would you want your legacy to be? helping Gay And Trans Teens

Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read? i do like reading but i havent read in 347563 years, technically the last thing i read was a webpage on frank kameny

How do you show someone you love them? i give them stuff and affection

Do you like ice in your drinks? nnnnot really unless its like iced coffee

What are you afraid of? losing my friends, heights, spiders, thunder

What is your favourite scent? vanillas, apple cinnamon, some laundry scents

Do you address older people by their first or last name? depends on what they tell me to??

If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? mostly how i do now but hopefully with less depression

Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean? pools, i only swam in the ocean once and it was weird

What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? see if anyone around had lost it and if not then keep it unless im in a store i trust that has like a service counter that can hold it if anyone comes asking

Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? i cant remember if i have

What is one thing you would want to teach your children? Dont Be Assholes

If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have plans for a tattoo right now, its from the shitty horoscope zines & its a bull skull with the words “there is poetry in brutal efficiency” and im gonna get it on my arm, when i stop being poor

What can you hear right now? my computer whirring concerningly

Where do you feel the safest? at home when my grandmother isnt home

What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? School

If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose? going backwards is always bad, only bad things happen there

What is your most used emoji? the sparkle heart

What is your favourite season? Why? early autumn bc its still Kinda Warm and also pretty

How would you spend your ideal day? sleepin, vidya games with The Boy, no obligations giving me background stress

Describe yourself using one word. gay

What do you regret the most? dropping out of school lmfao

Invent your own word. What does it mean? im not creative you fiend

#ask meme #last-son-of-mars

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nerdystrawberries1489-blog · 7 years

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Finishing My 27th Year

It’s 12am and I have lots on my mine right now. Actually lots on my mind for many days now, but just been feeling all scattered brain to write anything down. So here is my attempt. I just get overwhelm with all the thoughts that run in my head so that’s why I run away from my thoughts at time and just want to handle it as they come.

I feel like so much has occurred in the past few weeks into 2017.

Currently I just feel a bit out of place and missing you Naan! You are leaving tomorrow for your family trip to Disney World! You don’t know how much I wish I was coming with you right now. I just want to be a part of this trip. It’s just suck on our situation at times, and I just want our life to start. Facebook hasn’t been a help either bc I have to see my friends pictures of their lives so happily married and starting family. I just want to get to that point with mine too. And I wish so badly my turn is coming...not sure exactly when, but I really hope it soon this year. It’s tough at times to ignore people and I hate my career choice because of it I feel like I miss so much stuff in my life. Anyways I know it wont make much difference that you are going away for few days to a different state, but mentally just feel like its making an impact on my mind that we wont be in the same state and were gonna be even further away than usual and you’d be busy and I’d prob be busy too with my stupid work but still feel this anxious feeling inside me. I just want you to stay safe and be careful while you are away. I have this restless feeling inside me and just want you home asap and I know it’s your vacation and you want this week to last long, haha but for me I’m wishing Friday can come asap. That being said I really hope you have an AMAZING TIME at Disney World!!! You will enjoy it so much and please try to be open minded and be a kid to really enjoy it! It’s one of my favorite place to be because I feel carefree. Just promise me that we will do this once when we can start hanging together and sneaking out into trips and once we have baby Hassan! Take lots of Pictures for me!!! Really want to feel part of it! And don’t let anyone get you down...just relax!!! Things wont go as you plan during most vacation especially when people go with family, but just let things go and enjoy. Muaah I love you!!! I am at a point where I just can’t wait to hang out with you even as a friend this point. Hope that day is coming soon.

Thank you for yesterday!!! Thank you for making me feel so special on my Birthday!!! The night before my Birthday was a hell, and I cried my eyes off because I felt like crap. Felt crappy in a sense I worked my butt off that Friday while my tooth was in pain and handling everything was just so hard. And then I was away from family and friends who I can’t really spend my Birthday with, so was just feeling down. Thank you for making me feel not so lonely on my Birthday and cheering me up! Hopefully in the future we can spend our birthdays together and thats more than enough what I want. Thank you for the spontaneous breakfast in bed, lovely chocolate cover strawberries, and my cute little petite cake!!! You are just very sweet and loving!! Thank you for everything you have done for me! You put a HUGE SMILE on my face! You probably had a hint what my wish was when I blew my candle was for us to start our lives together soon!

Friday was just bad day, it started bad because I got a stupid paged at 3 am...funny thing was this girl resident loves messaging me at 3 am...even yesterday she send me a birthday message at 3 am...I’m like are you serious???? Just because you are on night call doesn’t mean I am on night call too...I heard my text message go off at 3 am yesterday. I was like shaking my head....lol Anyways floor was rough Friday and sorta rough 2 weeks into the January. I just have annoying needy patient and annoying needy attending that except everything to be done. And they become so dependent in me bc I baby them. But somehow I made it through Friday and even today wasnt easy! Morning was a bit rough handling consults in ED and going to random Ankle Case but somehow it worked out. Good thing was I got 6 free numbers in the OR this last week which is a huge thing!! So it’s not all bad but Hummus is just mentally exhausted. On top the day before, I decided to get a root canal done at the dentist bc my wisdom tooth was in pain which end up getting me a throat infection...so now I am in process of losing my voice bc its itchy and hurts to talk. I hate taking medication but I have to force myself to take the antibiotics to prevent infection. Have to go back in 2 weeks to finish up my procedure.

So what else happen was my parents bought me a car, so that part settled for me which was worrying the hell out of me. They said car would be delivered end of this month. I’m still pretty nervous handling a car in NY and freaked out of my mind how I am gonna manage driving here. I really think I’ll die in an accident. Anyways I got a Black Nissan Versa Note 2016 model. I just hope it works fine and it will last me 3 years without any problem and then this car can do whatever it wants to hopefully lasting me more years but just need these 3 years to be easy. Thank God this got settled I was very worried.

Hmm I’m starving right now, but I can’t fully eat bc of my tooth I feel like my teeth on left side is jamming my gums and even when I sleep I wake up from pain bc Im grinding it down. My bite mark isn't the same anymore so its bothersome. Hopefully by the second procedure things feel better. At least the pain is gone which is a huge thing because it was pound pain! I wanna have the cake so badly right now and maybe I will.

Tomorrow is my 3rd week into Floors. I just want it to finish so I can relax in February in my off service month! Just annoyed not having a vacation since September. Can’t believe how fast months have gone and its already end of January! That’s crazy!! It’s a good thing because I just want these 3 years over soon! I want to start focusing on my personal family life!

There is so much else on my mind and I have a headache thinking about it, but I can’t think of it right now! I’m just really missing you right now!!! You are the best thing that happen to me and I want us to make it through any challenges that comes our way. I know we get into so many random fights and almost break up because of me but I just want us to make it through. It’s been a rough 8 months at times just staying apart and thats probably what is making things difficult. And people around us don’t help because I get jealous so easily seeing other people happy because I want that happiness too. I just want my turn!

I LOVE YOU!!! MUAAH!!! I want to wish you a safe trip to Orlando Florida and wish you safe trip back home!!! I can’t wait until you come back!!! I promise I’ll wont be needy this week and lay low and take care of myself. You have to promise me you do the same and if something random happen you need to tell me RIGHT AWAY...I don’t need random clues that something is wrong! Please ENJOY YOUR VACATION!!! See You Home Soon!!! I LOVE YOU!!! MUAAAH!!!!!

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