#and like how if im being like this rn what will i be like few years from now

[10yo-anon]

《 Sick days. 》

Satoru Gojo x F!reader

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

⚠️: slight silly type of hurt/comfort!! Yay! :3 (possibly ooc! Satoru), DIALOGEEEEE!!

WC: 896.

A/N: NOOOOO MY TUMBLR DRAFTS DIDN'T SAVE PART 2 OF DARK RED. I WAS HALFWAY FINISHED. IM USIBG THIS LIL DRABBLE TO COPE. AT SKEWL RN MAKING SKEWL DOODLES TO 💪

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 1.

It wasn't often for Satoru to get sick. You know what? Scrap that. It was rare for him to get sick. Maybe once or twice every year. possibly due to him being a sorcerer.

And if he does get sick, it would be a simple cold that would only effusive his immune system for a few days! Unfair!

If you were honest, you kind of liked it when he would get sick.. he gets more clingy, begging for attention and being twice as affectionate as he was physically and emotionally than normal.

But now it doesn't look like just small cold when you see Satoru laying on the couch, groaning, instead of rushing towards your bedroom like he always does whenever he gets back from his missions and responsibilities.

"Satoru, you're back!—..are you okay?" You ask as you walk over to him, sitting on the soft arm chair.

"Huh?.." He tilts his head up to look at you before quickly sitting up, " baby, you're here— yes, yes I'm fine.. duh." he scoffs, "why are you asking? Concerned for your little ol' boyfriend, huh?" He attempts to distract you.

"Maybe because your face is all red, and I doubt its from blushing." You respond sternly, ignoring the last sentence he spat out.

"Its noth—" Before he could talk back, your hands cup his face, in which he subconsciously leans on. "Satoru.. you're sick." You frown. When he realizes you were concerned, his hand goes up to wrap around your wrist. "You know I'll be fine, besides, I'm sure this will go away sooner or later!" Though sweet, His reassurance pisses you off, how could he not care for himself! He should know better!

"Im not sure this will go away 'sooner or later', your temperatures too high." You kiss his forehead. "Nuh uh! Promise, im finee, besides, I dont need your help anyways." Is it possible for you to take your actions and words back?

"Oh, is that so? Fine then, Satoru." You huff before leaning away. "Wait— I don't mean it like that!" "Dosent look like you don't." He crosses his arms. "Fine then, maybe I do think I don't need your help." "Fine." You sigh out before turning away, walking back to the master bedroom to take do your night routine. "Fine!" You hear him respond back at the living room.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Day 2.

You wake up from your peaceful slumber, greeted by the pillow wall you made with the reason: "so your fever won't infect me." And Satoru's back. He would always wake up earlier than your, but given his state, it was understandable.

You wanted to help but after your small petty fight with him and his words, your ego won't let you.

You stretch your arms and hop out of bed, (not before you silently place a soft kiss on top of satoru's bed head.) the least you could do was to continue with your morning, and cook food for the both of you.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

Is it possible for him to take his actions and words back?

He wanted to slap himself sooo bad.. not only did he make you angry, but he didn't even get his "goodnight" and "I love you", he couldn't cuddle you up the whole night because of your stupid idea of a pillow wall, (he knows your reason wasn't the only reason.) But now he had to wake up from his shitty slumber with a raging head ache. He didn't want to play this petty game anymore, but his ego doesn't want to lose. And he started it anyway.

He yawns and walks to the kitchen in search for you, but he only saw breakfast waiting for him and a note saying you went out for errands. Couldn't his day get any worse?

Grumbling curses to himself, he walks to the medicine cabinet you handmade and personally decorated for whenever he came back needing to get bandaged. His hand rummages through the cabinet, gauze.. syringes.. anesthesia...ah, pills!grabbing whatever packet of pills he saw first he sits back at the table seat, eating the delicious warm meal you left for him and swallowing down the pills with water soon after.

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

You take your shoes off, putting the bag of groceries on the counter before going to the bedroom to freshen up.

Your fight with Satoru was only a waiting game to see who breaks and loses, who gets their ego eaten by the other.

Surprisingly, Satoru was nowhere to be found, not until you feel arms wrapping around your waist from behind before he pulls you to his warm chest, leaning down to nuzzle his head on your neck, his warm skin touching yours.

"M'sorry. Im sooo sorry.." you hear and even feel him whine out. "Can't do this anymore.. take care of me, pleasee.."

"Oh, Toru." Maybe this is what happens when even your white blood cells have an ego.

You turn your body to face his slumping one. Barely balancing as he depends his weight down on you, until you both fall down the bed, him on top of you, successfully trapping you before smothering your face with kisses as you giggle from the ticklish feeling.

"Satoru! Stop!" You teasingly push him away. "Hey! You want to help me, don't you." "Mhm, well, yeah—" "then let me continue!" "This won't even help!" "I don't know about that... making you happy is actually taking my head ache away.."

"You geek."

《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》

A/N: so yeah, i got to rewrite dark red part 2 AGAIN. Before english period started i checked my drafts, and it wasn't there. So i wrote this lil drabble for the whole english period instead of writing notes just to cope 🤗

#☆— 【 fanfiction !! 】 #im sorry #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #satoru gojo x reader #satoru x reader #gojo x reader #satoru x y/n #satoru x you #gojo x you #gojo x y/n #gojo fluff #satoru fluff

[furuyalover]

taking care of him at a party

— ft. atsumu miya

AN: just a lil sum while i work my music event drabbles 🤍 also this was soo fun to write so pls request any other characters i should do this for !

your roommate was throwing a party in your shared house, and it was fun at first. however your social battery was running kind of low, and you felt like taking a break anyways. “hey im a little beat, but if you need anything i’ll be in my room” you tell your friend and then you make your way to your room.

you lie down on your bed, and decide to maybe take a small nap to help you feel better. but not even 15 minutes into your nap you hear a soft knock on your door. “come in” you groan, as you readjust yourself so that you can sit up and see whoever’s at your door, expecting your roommate needing assistance with something for the party. but to your surprise, your greeting by three familiar faces, one being a very drunk atsumu miya.

being practically held him by his twin brother and good friend suna, the former embarrassingly says “y/n im so sorry for barging in, but is it ok if we let atsumu take a break here? every other room was occupied and your roommate told us to try here” atsumu was smashed, you could tell that he was shitfaced and it was more like osamu & suna who needed the break.

“what? ok sure yeah whatever. just lay him down over there i guess.” too tired to really even refute their request, you instruct the two to carry their drunken friend on the side of your bed opposite of you. this is where you decide it’s probably time for you to turn in for the night.

you leave atsumu to rest on your bed, and head into your bathroom to change, shower, and what not to get ready for bed. by the time you’re done you chuckle to yourself when you see atsumu is still knocked out on your bed. admittedly, you found it kind of cute to see him like this. peacefully asleep, in his natural state, a change of pace from his usual loud and brash personality, it didn’t help that he was in your bed as well. after placing a glass of water and some tylenol and advil on the nightstand next to him, you sit on your side of your bed and start mindlessly scrolling on your phone.

you text your roommate, updating them on the wild situation you found yourself in. “y/n are u fr rn? this is like the perfect chance for u to confess to him hello??” a smile forms on your face after reading that text, “bro what hell no. that’s so awkward 😭” “ur trippin, worst case scenario u can tell him u we’re js drunk” rolling your eyes at that suggestion, you exit your texts and go back to your scrolling.

a few minutes go by and you feel atsumu shifting in your bed, followed by a slight groan. “oh god where am i” he groans as he rolls over, rubbing his eyes, to face this mysterious figure sat beside him.

“well you’re not downstairs getting shitfaced that’s for sure” you snark with a small chuckle, slightly admiring how cute he looks with his messy hair and flushed face. “oh shit! y/n! is this your room? oh my god did we..?” amused by his slight panic you reassured him that nothing happened, “no no don’t worry, you were absolutely plastered so suna and your brother dropped you off here so you could rest. there’s some tylenol next to you, you should really take some”

she’s such an angel wow, he thought to himself as he took the pain relievers you so kindly prepared for him. “god those assholes, sorry you had to deal with that” he quietly, almost embarrassingly apologizes. giggling at his annoyance you assure him it’s fine and that it’s not a big deal. but then the gears start turning in your head a bit, as you start to develop a lil plan to semi-confess to him.

“the party isn’t probably gonna end for another few hours, so if you want you can just crash here if you want. i can just sleep on the couch or something” almost immediately, a grin plasters on atsumus face, and his usually cocky self is back just like that. “i mean that’s rather rude ya know? i wouldn’t want such an angel who had to take care of a drunken asshole to sleep on the couch. you should probably just sleep in your own bed” he grins as he runs his hands through his messy blonde hair, this bitch knows exactly what he’s doing, you think to yourself.

despite a very obvious blush creeping up on your face you respond, “yeah well i’d feel bad if you had to stay on the couch” scoffing, faking offense to your comment “who said anything about me on the couch? plus i heard cuddling is good for hangovers.” OH HOW I HATE HIM. rolling your eyes you playfully act annoyed, but you couldn’t be any happier

“hm well i always wanted to cuddle with that dumbass from the volleyball team who i have a crush on” you retort with a light laugh. now it’s his turn to blush, already flushed from the alcohol he is now redder than before. “when exactly were you planning on tellling this handsome and talented dumbass?” despite the confident demeanor he was definitely screaming on the inside.

“i figured now would be a good time, but who said anything about handsome and talented.” you reply as you side eye him, but he just can’t help but smile right at you. “so we’re definitely cuddling right?” he asks with a heartful, genuine smile. not being able to deny this lover boy’s smile or even him in general, i mean you’ve liked him for months now, you roll your eyes and respond “ok fine i guess whatever, but find some clothes to change into and take a shower” you laugh as you playfully hit him on his shoulder.

“on it.” he gets up heading downstairs to see if any of his friends have extra clothes they can get him, and to of course tell them about his crush on you. “shit finally, it’s about time you told her you liked her, osamu you owe me $10 and some food” “ok fine suna whatever, but you owe me $5 since he did it while he was drunk.” yes these mfs placed bets on you guys confessing to each other.

reblogs appreciated and admired ૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა

#game time! #haikyuu x you #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #hq headcanons #hq imagines #hq x you #hq x reader #hq fluff #miya atsumu #atsumu miya #atsumu miya headcanons #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya fluff #atsumu miya x you #atsumu headcanons #atsumu x reader #atsumu x you #atsumu fluff

[load-theloading-artist]

*Kicks Down Door*

it's me, ya boi, Load.

And I have some things to say.

But i want to mention @-thevyladsafespace for their post;

^^^ this one ^^^

Where they asked what the inspiration(s) was for the boys' outfits. Having a few guesses of their outfits being inspired by chinese/japanese fashion or dnd/generic fantasy style of fashion.

And, in my opinion, yes!

But... also no.

Lemme explain, But first;

I want to talk about their Daemos outfits. And my thoughts/opinions on the...

Starting with their Daemos Outfits;

And starting with

Noi;

who i actually i think his outfit fits Japanese Inspiration the most!

(Before i explain, i want to say i am not from japan or have visited, nor am i an expert, but i have watched MANY videos about japanese culture from LetsaskShogo on youtube! I highly recommend checking him out. He goes into everything about japan, its history, its culture, its fashion, Noh thearte, tea ceremonies, everything!) (Japanese culture is a special interest of mine, ahah)

His left side of his shirt is over his right side, which japanese traditional kimono style of clothing MUST have! (Wearing the left over right is a MUST in their culture, for only the dead or non-living wear the RIGHT side over the LEFT. It therefore symbolizes death.)

The closest reference for his shirt i can find rn is this one; (which if i remember right are called dogi!)

Additionally,

Useing this image as reference;

His pants are very similar to a style/type of Hakama pants (unfortunately, i have forgotten the name of them. I think a name for them was Karusan, but i may be wrong!!)

Image reference of the pants im talking about;

(They were worn by 'samurai' or otherwise japanese soldiers as a better alternative to hakama due to the pants better ease of movement and more suitability armor.)

Other than that though, he doesn't wear anything else that is SIMILAR to traditional japanese fashion.

Onto my opinions and thoughts about his design;

I love Noi's design the most. He is the most well designed out of the boys'. If i were to change his design, i would keep most of it.

He's an 8/10 for me.

Deducted points because WHY? WHY WITH HIS ARM. Omg. no... No. No!! his design literally would've been perfectly okay IF HIS ARM. WASNT-

give him his sleeve back pls... why was it taken away? What crimes did it commit?? Was color contrast against the armor wanted so badly ThEy TOOK AWAY HIS SLEEVE?? That's worse!! That's worse than just leaving his sleeve alone 😭😭😭

In fact, it would look BETTER if the sleeve was kept unyoinked!!

I apologize for how harsh i may sound. But i can't. I just can't.

Moving onto

Pierce;

My second favorite character~

I believe he is the second closest to having most Japanese inspiration.

With his utterly blue coat, that is the main point of interest in his design... that does look a lot like a kimono.

But i sure hope it isn't because the way he's wearing it makes me want to go

"DISHONER ON YOU!! DISHONOR ON YOUR COW!!"

- (mulan/mushu reference)

And that what he SHOULD be wearing would be similar to a Haori-jacket

Which what it looks like;

(The Haori is a traditional japanese hip or thigh length jacket that is typically worn over a kimono.)

His coat is, however, a Kimono's length. (Maybe even a little longer, actually, kimonos typically only reach the ankles. But the way he wears whatever he wears, could make it look longer than it should be or is.)

Additionally his sleeves and;

The absolute abomination his outfits back is. What the genuine *🐬 noise* happened.

The way his the back of the outfit is, it means that if he wears the unworn sleeve, the back will be SO DROOPED!! It would not be funny or sexy 😔

Here is a reference for how a kimono (though with longer/larger sleeves) with one sleeve not being worn would look;

(i am so sorry, but idk who the artist is and can not find them. Googling bee-com led to (i think) a bitcoin website, and katahada nugi was just for information for samurai armor.) (If anyone knows it would be very appreciated!)

*sigh*

Moving onto my thoughts and opinions on Pierce's design;

Pierce's deisgn is... rather simple. Other than the pattern on his pants.

... tbh i dont really know what else to say. It's simple, basic, the coat, arm-brace, and patten on his pants are the only points of interest in his design. (Other than his tattoo but we'll talk about it later.)

I'd rate him 3/10.

There's... Something. Theres a something... But it's not executed well (or at all) in his design. His (disaster of a coat that deducted points) coat and that something, is his saving grace of a few points.

.

.

.

And i WANT TO CONTINUE THIS in the same post and I PROMISE YOU, i am going somewhere i do i do i just,

In order to continue i NEED the photo space, what do i mean? i mean THERES A PHOTO LIMIT OF 10 ON POSTS!!! TUMBLR WHY 10??? 10??? 10 PHOTOS ONLY???

***insert image of a depressed man bent over in a blue school chair meme***

.

.

.

But i hope you stay tuned and to see you in part 2!! (And most likely part 3... oh boy. Im so sorry)

Again, i promise im going somewhere with this i just need time to cook and get the foundations down first. AND THE PHOTO SPAc-

#my inner demons aphmau #aphmau my inner demons #shush load #my inner demons #Google: How to fight Tumblrs post image limit #*sobs* #see you in part 2 and im so sorry #theres alot of things i haven't mentioned that I'll mention in part 2!! i promise. #if there seems to be missing piunts about these two designed i didn't mention its because im waiting til i talk about all 5 of the Boys #daemos outfits #give me time to cook plsplsplsplspls

[coconutredbulllover]

to everyone who has commented on the situation with paige and azzi id just like to say something

fans/people who actually have no clue and just know it happened and thats all don’t exactly feel the same empathy for the situation at the extent they would if they did know more, its a fact, people cant feel as bad for something if they dont know exactly what they’re feeling bad for. of course you can still feel extremely bad, a horrible and unforgivable thing happened but until you know what your actually feeling bad for its more like giving sympathy and condolences to a wall thats made of glass but its like the blurry type glass you cant really see through.

i dont reallt know if that made any sense but im basically trying to say that people who dont know and arent being informed since many people are staying silent in order to prevent spreading it, are like people who got told their dog went to a butterfly farm instead of being told it died. its like they were told a much much softer version of the real thing.

im not sure who or to what extent everyone on tumblr really knows about whats actually out there, but i just want ppl who only know the jist or general idea of what happened and even those who think they know or have seen all or most of it to know that it was actually alot that happened and the volume and extent of what happened was a really sickening thing to ever be informed of.

its insane paige was abt to come onto social media after just a weekend and be active, if you knew what i know then you would agree with me when i say paige is 100% only back on media rn to try and move peoples eyes past it and for pr reasons because thats whats best for the situation. she was most definitely not back after only a weekend ready to return to media just for the fun of it. they both are surrounded by a strong support system and while they may be smiling in the snippet of their lives we get to see, just know that putting up a strong front does not mean everything is okay and if u consider the extent of what happened it would be obvious that many signs point to them being very much not okay and that’s perfectly fine! they need time to heal from it and its not something you get over in a week. doing and feeling better doesnt mean actually being completely okay either healing takes time.

thank God its offseason and there isnt an actual full media spotlight on them right now, with how fast social media goes it likely wont be really talked about as a main focus in just a few weeks and its thankfully already starting to die down in just 1. i hope by the time the new season starts they feel alot better and the months will give them time to move past/through it and the world time to not remember or be focused on it.

im putting this on tumblr specifically because it is more of a hidden site compared to yk tiktok or twitter and likely wont spread anywhere crazy esp bc im keeping it low on actual details

#uconn wbb #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #pazzi

[skitskatdacat63]

Hey, do you remember that really homoerotic scene from Skyfall? No? That's okay, here's a Vettonso version of it :)

- explanation & w/o text:

Hi hello, finally my weird psychosexual relationship with Casino Royale has come to fruition. Yeah this is directly based off a scene from Skyfall, but I def envision the vibe as being more like Casino Royale hehe. I can't believe I made that inspo board for this AU almost 4 weeks ago, and then ended up drawing a four panel "comic" about it. Ahhhh proud of myself, a bit, a tad. I think this took 20+ hours across the span of a week? God. Anyways I digress! The AU!!

First of all, their Bond song would be "My Way of Life" by Frank Sinatra. It's so toxic, codependent and obsessive, I'm in love with it. And it really suits Fernando and his motivations and outlook in this AU. Basically, MI6(in the context of James Bond) in this AU is an analog for Ferrari. It picks theses guys up, tells them that they're Ferrari MI6's most special boy, chews them up, and then spits them out when they're finished extracting all their talent and skill and life force.

Much like with Ferrari, Seb in this AU replaces Fernando after Fernando loses favor and becomes undesirable. Now Seb is the new golden boy, and Fernando has turned to a life of crime! Fernando resents Seb for this of course, but also becomes obsessed with him and the idea of him , and how they are connected. It's weird to watch someone else basically go down your exact same path and unknowingly make all the same mistakes(buying into the mysticism of it all too much, being overly cocky, having naive beliefs and goals, etc.) He is caught between wanting to doom Seb even more but also wanting to "save" him, by corrupting him and convincing him to work together.

Basically: He's both a Bond girl and Bond villain.

Fernando is in such a weird place in this AU. I think he's just very dramatic. Seb is just casually living his best 007(005?) life, and Nando is watching him with binoculars, whispering to himself: "DOESN'T HE UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE NARRATIVE FOILS!?" Yeah he hates Seb, but like the song lyrics say, their lives and dreams are inherently tied up together. He would feel lost without Seb, because Seb basically, unknowingly, destroyed and then took over his life. Maybe he'll feel satisifed if he manipulates Seb into going down the exact same path a bit better.

About the drawings themselves. Still can't believe this scene is a real thing that actually happened, insane to me. But in this AU, after the events of these drawings, Fernando definitely kicked all his henchman out of the room, and fucked Seb in the chair. And then against the wall. And then on the floor. Hey man, Seb is already looking mighty delicious with his unbuttoned attire and being tied up.

I think the general plot would be that Fernando keeps trying to seduce him to the dark side, and Seb keeps making him think it worked, only to escape at the end of the encounter. Leading Fernando to just come up with increasingly more violent and kinky traps. Seb goes along with it(read: enjoys it), leaving Fernando satisifed, only to somehow escape and wink and make kissy faces at Fernando in the process. (Fernando smoking cigarette in bed: "How do I make him stay. Sigh.")

I like to think though that Fernando does win in the end, by realizing, ah wait shit I do need to actually explain my motivations to Seb. And Seb is so worn down by his job, not Fernando, and how he's being treated, that he listens, really actually listens, and realizes Fernando does really have valid reasons. And then they become evil crime husbands yayyyy. Wow you thought this was a espionage AU? Well it is, but just not the outcome you'd expect.

#ah well this was certainly a project.... #rn i feel like im devolving into illness so im glad i could finish this up before it possibly gets worse #this is my magnum opus as of rn. just bcs ive not really drawn such a longform thing for them!! happy w it :) #i think i def like the first one the best #it made me suffer so bad but i think i soften on my own art after a few days #like i finish it and know its 'good' but cant help but critique every little thing #but ive had that one done for almost a week so now i look at it and really love it #i was originally just going to draw that one only but then realized i really like the full dialog so. might as well. #generally i liked this though bcs even if it ws difficult. it was nice to have really direct and clear reference #like ah ik where im going w this rather than it being an image in my head that i cant represent the way that I want #ah anyways all my vettonso aus tend to be just wanting to explore specific dynamics of theirs #and this one is basically how i feel about their mutual relationship to the institution of ferrari and how it affects their dynamic #basically: THEY'RE MIRRORS!!! #there's always something to be said abt nando being resentful abt seb bcs of 2010/2012/etc and then seb taking his seat at ferrari #but then witnessing seb basically go thru the same trials and tribulations and failures at ferrari #and realizing huh wait maybe he's not who i was villianizing him as. maybe hes at my level too. maybe he's not infallible. maybe hes like m #a very bitter nando who has to fight btwn his impulse to ruin seb further or to relate to him and start to like him #so yeah that's ^ basically what i want to portray in this au(just like all AUs tbh) #f1 #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #catie.rambling.txt #catie.art. #vettonso #bond au

[pocketramblr]

Dash simulator

Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread

Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges

Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall

Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard

Draft discarded

Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it

Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard

Draft discarded

Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?

Blog 6: woo cherry pie!

#trying so hard to be a blog 6 rn #im discarding those drafts #but clearly it has been too much for me as this one is getting posted #like i really am sorry if any. strawberry antis are directly being rude to anyone #that isnt ok #but i have seen zero of that on my dash or in the tag #i saw a few blogs saying lol they don't like strawberries #and then i saw a ton of blogs saying how dare there be any negativity at all #and seeming to act as if those blog posts were specifically about disliked fic authors i mean recipe makers #which... if any of them were... i didn't see it because of how i blocked large swaths of the fandom like three years ago #when i realized that it was determined to blow up a discourse topic every single month #and if there are people doing that. please. do what i did. block en mass #if you open a recipe that turns out to have strawberries in it and you cant hit the back button but instead leave a nasty comment that is a #you problem #but also if you see a random blog post about someone saying they dislike strawberries- hate strawberries even- and you feel personally #attacked and start crying about how now you never want to bake a strawberry shortcake again and they're so mean #that is also. a you problem. #'what fandom is this pocket' dont worry about it #not one i have any mutuals in #which. considering the mass blocking and the annoying chronic discourse explosions. perhaps is not surprising

[slopdoughnut]

My bitchass cat- 80 ft up in a goddamn tree

It has been a day

#i dont want to make a long post so im ranting in the tags #this is now day 2 of her being up there #we only just found where she was in the tree thanks to binoculars #there are lots of emotions rn #ive already had a shitty few days and now this #on top of all that #this guy that came to “help” was constantly making remarks about ways to get her down that would definitely kill her #“oh I'm just not a cat person” #ok??? #and??? #shut the fuck up #i lost my cool on his ass so fucking fast #i like to consider myself a generally nice person when it comes to social interactions #but within the hour i was done with this asshole #i will not mention the ways he talked about getting her down #but i will mention that i definitely threatened him #lucky i did not tell him what i was really thinking #which was that i wanted to cave his skull in #but still #i dont give a fuck that you are here to help #the past few days have been shit and now this???? #why are you such an ass??? #fuck that guy #thanks for reading my rant #i hope your week was good #ill update on how getting her down goes #rant post #personal rant #rant

[pepprs]

my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared

#purrs #delete later #ask to tag #(​putting slashes thru things so that they don’t show up in search btw) #i have no right to be scared bc im not there. but im so scared for the people of ga/za. and i am so scared that… idk. it’s completely my #fault bc i go looking for these kinds of things on purpose to hurt myself. but i doomscrolled last night about ww/3 and the possibility of #nu/clear war being fueled by is/rael’s ‘war’ on pale/stine and not only am i sick with fear about the people living directly in that region #but i am so fucking scared of the possibility of nu/clear war. or like. any war breaking out in the us. which i know is a ridiculous self #centered thought to have but my anxiety is out of fucking control rn and it has been getting worse throughout the week. i just don’t know #how to wrap my head around the violence of this week. and so few je/wish ppl i know irl are antizi/onist and ppl just expect me to be #supportive of is/rael jsut bc im je/wish and it makes me fucking FURIOUS not only because i resent these horrors being committed to innocent #people in the name of my own people but it is so extremely dangerous to conflate j/udaism with zi/onism. the consequences diasporic je/ws #are goi ng to face are of course nowhere near as central or all-consumingly violent as the people in gaz/a and i feel personally safe enough #as someone who (and i know this is kind of a terrible thing to say) passes very easily as a go/y (esp w a mask on) and has a g/oy last name #but i am so fucking terrified of the antise/mitism getting worse here and have been exposing myself to evidence of it even though it is #extremely destructive to my mental health. but also i deeply resent the rhetoric around ‘reach out to your j/ewish friends they’re suffering #rn’ because…. we are not a monolith nor are we the direct victims in this situation and it just feels so uncomfortable and centering to make #it an issue of silence etc etc when… there are innocent ppl in g/aza who are experiencing terror no human being should ever have to endure #and most of them are children and they are the people who will ‘pay’ most directly and immediately and severely for what happened a week ago #i just feel so fucking on edge from this entire situation and unable to do anything to help when the destruction is imminent and this #nightmare of a country is at the core of so much suffering in this world and it will take centuries to undo it all and in the meantime so #many innocent people are going to die and maybe the entire world will be destroyed by nu/clear war which we are basically begging for at #this point. it’s so hard to function in my personal life when i am keenly aware of what could be happening at any moment #i don’t know how to end this post. im just fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd #ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding. #i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way #when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee #but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo #and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards #not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony #my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like #marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there #i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my #parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL) #but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school #nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is #same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL #i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not. #i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds #but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice #i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring #that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases #and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason #you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident #im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like #i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS #i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3 #i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔

[divorcetual]

The meower

#Queued... technically March 23rd? #I mean its march 22nd in oregon. but im not there rn lolz #either way im late. SORRY !! i forfor to queue on the 20th then i was on planes for like 21 hrs total #well no 5 of those were a layover @ the airport but #ANYWAYYYYY hi future me !!! #Howww was the trip? im on my first (second actually- its 4am of the second day if u coukd the arrival) day in Hong Kong #Its rlly hot and humid so I think im gonna die. BUT ITS ALSO SUPER COOL !! #Even just from the few hours I had out earlier its amazingggg. The lights and the buildings are so cool and theres such a fun but chaotic #atmosphere - idk if its just bcs its a big city or specific to HK? #I loveee large cities in general. New york. Tokyo. HK. thats all of the ones ive been to ig #I havent seen even close to all of HK. Im in central rn but we're goin to other parts later #Dad says the other parts are totally different- Like theres LOADS of gisnt buildings here (WAY MORE THAN U SEE IN ******!!! u know that tho #and theyre almost all residential of the ones I passed. Im sure theres offices n stuff i just didnt see them in the likd 20 minutes cab #ride lolz. U know all tuis already tho #ig what im getting at is HOW WAS THE TRIP !!!!! How was the rest of HK? WHAT WAS KYOTO LIKE?? #augh soo many cool things..... #Also also !! Have you learned any mire katakana? #ive JUST learned the vowel line so maybe u lesrned the k line now too? #I cant imagine school is any different. OHH DID U FINISH THE M P 10P COMIC?? #I started it and got abt one page done on the plane #I think it should only end up being two or three pages idk #Ohh !! Hows the new meds going !! I think u should have ur blood test done by now so do u know if it helped at all? #I hope soooooooooooo #Mm I think thats all I have to say .... NO WAIT HAVE U HUNG OUT W/ JACKIE?? #i rlly want to b friends with her ^.^ #Alright Thats all !! HAVE A GOOD DAYYYYYY I LOVE U #queue drop #weather report #WAIT EDIT DID THE TRIGUN VOLUME COME. HOW IS IT

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

the rollercoaster of emotions I exist on is like this:

wake up, calm and peaceful. stress about getting ready for uni in time. get a pie and eat it for breakfast, enjoying the morning sunlight. get to uni feeling uplifted and calm because I'm in loads of time. stress about the chairs, they're uncomfortable. zone out during class and do who knows what. hang round another girl and get hand-flappingly excited about her gorgeous children, grinning. hurry to next class, worrying I'll be late. become mildly suicidal on the way because what if I'm late. arrive in plenty of time. stand around nervously. enter the room, see the lecturer, oh look pretty happy woman, instantly reassured. have class, forget most of it before the end of class. hang round waiting for next class and get stressed in case I somehow misunderstood where I was to be (same place as last week). go into next class, simulation. have a wonderful wonderful time of it, have everything fall into place. think about the hurdle by accident, think about suicide as a result. stay back after class to talk to teacher about how to catch up (think about suicide while she's dismissing class). see her smiling again, explain that I don't know how to catch up, calmly. get answers, be reassured, go happy on my way. realise phone is on 2%, contact brother and think about jumping off a bridge while I wait for his reply. be picked up by brother. cuddle ransom when I get home and be completely happy.

#there's more but i can't remember as much what happened in the last few hours #otehr than that there've been multiple different lil suicidal spirals of differing severity #i just. im so tired of not being able to be happy even when i try. like i go ok! positivity only! and FAIL #i don't know how to fix this! #anyway rn i am simply Very Tired of being so stupid and apparently unable to control my emotions #(or unwilling) #not currently immediately suicidal #tw suicide #might break my streak tho idk #personal #puddleglum hours

[so-very-small]

hi sorry for not updating sooner but im gonna be on a lil mini hiatus. lifes been whack so ive been taking a few days to do fuck all and play MMO's while i process a lot of Things. i'm totally okay, just needing a lil rest for rn. miss y'all, love y'all, see y'all soon <3

#you ever sit and watch the sky for a while. and it always looks like the sky. but hours later its a vastly different color #you were looking at it the whole while and never noticed the slow change as it happened until it was verbatim #i feel like that in my brain rn. i didnt notice the shifting gradients #and im not in an awful place rn. but i do need a bit of introspection and like. being gentle to myself #how does that correlate to taking a break from shitposts? idk #im just trying to like. idk what im trying to do actually #but it seems to be helping! im doing better than i was #i just need a few more days of allowing myself to Feel Things before i become the Court Jester again #again im alright and ill see yall soon! hopefully ill have polls then

[morganpdf]

ngl one of the weirdest niche internet microdramas ive been Involved in in any capacity came to a head when someone saw porn i had commissioned of some of me and my bfs ocs, recognized them, and then got really mad

#morgan.pdf #they werent mad abt the comm to be clear. that was unrelated. it was just a funny as hell way for them to remember they dont like me #im not trying to incite drama rn either btw. it happened a few years ago and im sure we are mutually blocking each other & thats fine by me #i think abt it from time 2 time bc it was super fucking bizarre. everything that led up to that point was super bizarre #also the concept of being namedropped for hating something while i was actively getting diagnosed w said thing #i know you can have internalized issues and still be shitty but that was Not what was happening #and the fact that that was how it was interpreted. my god #do wish id stop seeing them on my dash tho. ngl

[bloodystray]

ohhhhhh it's getting harder

#new record for how long after waking up the dysphoria hits: 18 minutes #its actively painful to use my usual tumblr and twitter because just seeing depictions of people cis or trans makes me suicidal #i dont rlly know what to do any more lol. i could push for a few years and try to stay on hrt but im gonna be honest #it rlly isnt gonna fix me #im just so on the edge rn. why bother? why push through years of discomfort just so i can make my dick stop working and put on more weight #its not going to make me feel small or cute or pretty im going to feel like a fucking troll #im honestly just considering giving up and redoing all my shit to just be male catboy whatever #at least then it's just me coping abt not being skinny #i need to fuxkin die already

[steampoweredskeleton]

.

Ignore

#delete later #god i wish i was neurotypical #found out my flatmate is going to be away for a few days after they left and bc id had no warning my anxiety spiked so hard #that i had such a wave of nausea i had to lie down #idk why that fucking happened. ridiculous. irs not like it really affects that much. just the thing of my home being changed in any way #without warning freaks me the fuck out. couldnt do any work til id laid under my weighted blanket at lunch #and like obvs this is an entirely me thing. i dont expect my flatmates to tell me every detail of what they're doing #not sure how to keep myself from freaking over it though. will think on it #but yeah. if i was neurotypical id be fine. i also want to play ky video games after work but im akways so exhausted that all i can do #is lie in bed under my weighted blanket. it is so frustrating. im so tired. not helped that pain is fucking me up in new ways #so im also upset aboit that. and that christmas is approaching abd that changes the routine completely #and is always overwhelming #but this year im staying home so i will be able to keep it quiet and low key and it'll be just me so i dont have to think about #masking in any way which is kind of nice as even the vibe of Christmas takes a lot oit of me #i enjoy the thought of it and always hate the day. same as my birthday. fun in theory. incredibly stressful actually #idk whether it's work stressing me oit long term but right now any change to what im expecting from my routine is making me #so so so frustrated and upset #i had to go get meds after work on tiesday and became so upset by it that i was awake until 1am and was super nauseous #not enjoying that as a primary symptom of anxiety rn. i find eating hard enough as it is #the hair washing routine has given ne sone stability this week which was very nice abd made me feel calm. abd mt physio routine #the energy it takes to do it is outweighed by the relief i get when ive done that part of my routine and then go to bed #work is hard. working full time is so hard. im coping but not well. defo think i need to try getting regular therapy sessions if only #to help me plan for what i need to do and work through coping strategies bc im really hitting a wall. i need to problem solve all #these things but im so exhausted that i can't. so they just keep piling up

[cuz-reasons]

ive just realized that my blog title is actually really funny with the new pfp

#i say new but ive hat it for a few months now #i was gonna go see when if i made a post about changing it to see how long ago that was but i was distracted immediately #by the ask button thats under my bio on the tumblr app which i guess has been there the whole time?? #did i just never notice it?? #i feel like its new but i was just playing around trying and then giving up on doing a custom theme #idk what im doing there and im too too tired to figure out coding rn #i could look at already made ones but i like being able to customize things #oh well #enjoy my midnight ramblings