#and jensen knows exactly when and where to shine that light

[k-slla]

Hello, goodbye.

A/N: This is my second post for @jacklesversebingo / All mistakes are mine

Square filled: Break-Up

Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol, language, cheating, hurt, tiny bit of fluff/comfort

Word count: ~3.5k

My Masterlist

Staring at the bottom of your almost empty tea cup, you waited for Jensen to come home. You grabbed your phone again from the table to send him another text but ended up throwing it on the couch because your previous messages, sent yesterday around noon were left on read by him.

"Hey, babe! I know you're going to board the plane soon, but call me when you land. Miss you!❤️"

Few hours later followed by next one.

"Hey, you haven't called yet:( I know you should be home by now..I'll finish up work in a minute, see you soon!"

And before these were even more calls and messages. More "I miss you's", "Can't wait to see you's" & "Love you's". All went to voicemail or were just left on read. He's just busy, you had tried to reason this silence on his part so far. But when you got home yesterday evening, he was not there. Probably his flight got delayed or phone battery ran out you had thought but as the hours passed, you felt that it was something else. Never has he ignored you or been radio silent for this long. Another full day had passed, without him contacting you. And now you were getting more anxious by the minute. Jared should probably know where Jensen is, right? You wanted to call him but it was already past midnight so you settled on sending him a text. Maybe they went for a drinks and he forgot to tell you. Unlikely, but still a possibility.

You dragged yourself to the kitchen to make another tea, so you could try to get some sleep. While waiting for the kettle, you sent another text to him.

"Jensen, where are you? I'm worried. Call me."

You let out a frustrated sigh and cursed yourself for being such a nervous mess. You decided to ditch the tea and go straight to bed instead. You were certain that his flight was just delayed, which wouldn't exactly explain him ignoring your messages but you were probably just overthinking about everything as always.

You had no idea how long you had been asleep but when you woke up hearing the front door closing, light was dimly shining in through the blinds. Confused, you sat up in bed and looked for your phone. Almost 10am. Jared had sent two messages.

"Sorry, he's not with me:( trying to call now"

"Couldn't reach him, please let me know when he's home"

You could hear Jensen's heavy footsteps downstairs but decided to stay in bed. Mostly to see if he'd come upstairs to wake you. But he didn't, so you threw on a pair of fluffy slippers and a sweater and went downstairs. The smell of fresh coffee hit you as soon you opened the bedroom door.

You tried to stay mad at him longer, for making you worry but when you heard him humming in the kitchen, you couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. He sat at the island with his back towards you, so that gave you a perfect chance to sneak up on him. You hugged him from behind and he flinched.

"Jesus!" He quietly muttered under his breath. "Nope, just me. I missed you!" You whispered into his ear and kissed his stubbly cheek. "You scared me. I thought you were working today. Didn't see your car out." He sounded almost disappointed.

"Sorry." You smiled apologetically. " Didn't I told you that I'm taking the weekend off? We can spend it together before you have to go back." You turned around to pour yourself some coffee. "Did you your flight got delayed? I thought you were coming home on Thursday."

While you were searching for creamer from the fridge, you didn't notice Jensen tensing up at your question. You grabbed your cup and sat down across from him, looking at him questionably. 

"No, it's just- I-" he started evasively. " I just needed some time alone." You stared at him in disbelief. "What?" You asked laughing half-heartedly. "Jensen, we haven't seen each other for two months and you needed more time alone?"

"Did I do or say something?" You asked after a minute of trying to process what he told you. "You've been almost completely ignoring me for the past weeks. Actually it seems like few months even. I feel like-" You reached for his hand across the table but he pulled back. "I feel like I'm losing you."  He took a deep breath in and leaned back in his chair. "I thought- hoped actually- that you were working today, so I could figure it out how to tell you." Your breathing quickened. "Tell me what?"

Jensen looked straight into your eyes. "I'm going to file for a divorce." The coldness in his gaze and tone cut deep. You got confused for a second and squared you shoulders, forcing back tears, that were threatening to spill. You did not expect that. "But what- I mean why? Because I started talking more about having kids?" You had hoped the timing was right for the two of you to start trying at least. You had been together for over five years, married close to two now. Of course you wanted to have kids with him one day.

"I wanted to start family too but- " he stopped, looking for the right words. "I guess people change."

You scoffed. People change. People do change, but it doesn't happen almost overnight like this.

Your thoughts started to run now in one direction only. You were kicking and cursing yourself internally for allowing you even think this. "Is there someone else?" You asked, not really wanting to know the answer. Jensen's face turned stoic. "Does it matter? It's not gonna change anything." He shrugged. Anger was already slowly boiling inside you and that was the last straw.

"Of course it fucking matters, Jensen! If you're cheating on me, the least you could do is to man up and tell the truth." You snapped poisonously, got up from the chair and turned around to leave the kitchen.

"Fuck me." He muttered quietly and called after you bit louder. "Okay. Yes, I cheated on you. There. Do you feel better now?" He asked, sarcasm in his voice unmissable.

You immediately felt sick to your stomach. You turned around to face him again. "Do I feel better? Are you serious?" You were truly astounded and didn't even know how to react to his confession. You couldn't stay there anymore. You walked out of the room and tears finally broke loose. Jensen got up from his chair to follow.

"No! Just leave me alone. Please. I can't do this right now. I'll get out of here and-" you let out a sharp breath "-go to, I don't know, to Elaine's or something. "

"Of course.." he whispered. "Y/N, come on. Don't act like you're without blame here. You-" You cut into his sentence.

"How could you even say that? What did I do for you to go and cheat on me?" You hissed back at him and entered your bedroom. Jensen followed and sat on the bed, as he stared after you walking into the closet and pulling out a suitcase. "I'm sorry, Y/N. Please. Come sit down." You ignored him and started to pack your clothes. "I'll get rest of my stuff next week." You sniffled. "When you're back at work or something."

You folded your clothes sloppily and refused to look at him when he joined you in there. This was not the weekend you had imagined when he said he'll be coming back home. You were excited to finally see him again and just be together and do nothing. You had missed your husband for a long time. Apparently, he did not miss you. You quickly wiped the tears away, when Jensen came to stand behind you and put his hands on your shoulders to turn you around. "Please, Y/N. I want to talk about this. To explain."

Trying to calm yourself down, you looked straight into his eyes. "Okay. Talk."

"No. Come sit down." He nodded to the bed. He tried to guide you towards the bed but you shrugged off his hand and sat down on the bed. Leaning against the headboard, you pulled your knees to your chest. Two of you sat there for few minutes before Jensen started talking. "I really don't know how else to say it. And I don't expect you to believe but I didn't mean to hurt you this way. I'm sorry." His voice was quiet.

"I'm sorry I was such an asshole before. You just caught me off guard and I didn't know how to react."

You still couldn't wrap your mind around it. What went wrong with the two of you? "You're right. I don't believe you. You do not sleep with someone by accident. I'd try to understand- "

"Y/N, I-" You raised one hand to stop him. "No, Jensen, let me talk please. I'd try to understand you if it was just about having kids. I'd try to somehow accept it. But cheating? This was something you chose to do. And this probably wasn't a one time thing either, right?" His silence gave you the answer to your question. You nodded knowingly. "That's what I thought. You did this over and over. While I waited for you at home. Alone. Do you really think your apology will make me feel better?" You took a deep breath, silent tears were rolling down your cheeks again. Last few months had been especially hard without him. Work had gotten crazy with your boss demanding more and more from you. Yes, you had your friends and sister you kept in contact with regularly, but still at nights you felt alone.

 "Is that why you're leaving me? To move on with someone new?" You noticed Jensen tearing up. But still he didn't answer. "Jensen, please. Why can't you just tell me?" He said nothing so you got back up to finish packing. You didn't see the need to sit there and wait for him to answer. "Fine. You say you want to talk, but still won't talk to me, so I'll just go." You threw few more items from the closet into the suitcase and closed it up.

"Y/N, this is your home. You don't have to leave." He finally spoke up. "Well, I can't stay here either." You walked to the bathroom to pack some toiletries. This time Jensen didn't follow you. You closed the door and sat down on the floor. You felt a pressuring pain on the back of your head, but tried to think through it, to figure out your next steps. Of course you didn't want to actually leave, but staying in the house you and Jensen worked hard on to turn into home, would've been even harder. So you chose the easier of the two.

With a deep breath, you pulled out your phone and dialed your sister's number. She has always been very protective over you, so you knew, if you'd tell her about Jensen on the phone, she'd be over in a heartbeat to kick his ass. And he wasn't worth troubling her that much. "Hey, El. Are you busy this weekend?" You tried to sound cheerful, but you couldn't even convince yourself so she'd definitely see through it. "Hey! Not too busy. Why?" She sounded worried already. "I got an awesome idea, involving you, me, bottle of rosé and probably us passing out on your couch. How's that sound?"

She laughed at your proposal. "Definitely have time for that! What's up? Boy troubles?" You sighed and tried to compose yourself. "You could say that." She groaned loudly.

For some reason Jensen and Elaine always had some kind of beef between them. They managed to remain somewhat civil around you but when you were alone with either of them, they just couldn't hold back on straight on bitching about the other. Which was the main cause of your headaches for the past years and made the family gatherings rather uncomfortable. Well, two less things for you to worry about now.

"Do I have come over and kick his ass? Because you know I would."  She said this jokingly, but you knew that there was some truth hidden there. "No! I'll be over soon. See you!"

"Oh, he really messed up this time, huh?" She asked and followed it up quickly. "Well, bring snacks then!"  There was a short pause on the line. "And more wine. Maybe some cake? I'll do the counseling, I think I'll deserve some afterwards."

"Of course. Thank you. Alright, see you soon." You said quietly.

You ended the call and reality pulled you back in. Talking with Elaine always calmed you down. Made you forget your problems, even if just for a moment. You sighed deeply and got up to now actually pack up some necessities.

Few minutes later you stood at the bathroom door, staring at Jensen, sitting on the bed, head down in his hands. You wanted nothing more right now than to just get out of the house. But there was still one question that needed to be answered. You sat down next to him and took one of his hand into yours. "Please look at me." You turned his face gently towards you.

You wanted to stay mad at him.

Scream at him.

Punch him for hurting you this way.

But looking at him, you just couldn't. "It'd be probably better for me not to ask but I need to know this, Jensen. How long were you having the affair for, before you told me?" You looked into his eyes and waited for the band-aid to be ripped. But nothing could've prepared you for this.

 "I'm really really sorry, Y/N. I realize that it doesn't have any worth to you anymore but still I hope you know that I am." He said turning his body towards you. You remained silent and waited for him to continue. "But I- it started just after New Years." You pulled away your hands. You knew you should've let it go. "So almost for a year you came home to me like nothing was wrong?" You asked shakily and let out a sharp breath. Your ears started ringing. He really is an amazing actor, you thought to yourself.

You didn't know whether to cry or be relieved that the truth was out. Now there was nothing holding you back from leaving. You stood up and so was up again the wall around you. The wall that took Jensen forever to break down in the first place. "Ahem, so, uh-" you had trouble finding the words. "I think I've heard what I needed to- you know..move on, I guess." A forced smile grew on your face that didn't reach your eyes. "You can send whatever the papers you need me to sign to my workplace." You took your things and walked out of the room.

Looking around in the living room, you realized how much you're actually going to miss this house. All the memories of the late night trips to the hardware stores during fixing up the house came back to you. You were definitely more of a distraction than help for Jensen at that time. But the arguments over the tone of the flooring and style of the kitchen cabinets resulted usually in hot make up sex in the shower. Which you felt was really your only purpose of picking those fights with him. These memories brought a sad smile onto your lips. Now you refused to call this home, because your home was Jensen. And you didn't have him anymore.

"Are you sure you're not staying here? I'm leaving in two days. You can have the house." He had followed you so quietly, you almost didn't notice him standing behind you.

"No, the house is not what I want." You laughed unhumorously and turned around to face him. Jensen pulled you into a tight hug and just held you close. And you let him do just that.

Everything still seemed as you were in a bad dream. All you wished right now was to wake up. But there was nothing to wake up from. As the realization dawned on you, you almost broke down again. Pushing your face into his chest, you desperately tried to hold yourself together. Leaving him is be the hardest thing you've had to do.

Focus, Y/N, you can cry when you're out of here, you tried to talk yourself down. Put on a brave face in front him, so he wouldn't see how broken you actually are.

"I'm sorry." He whispered and kissed the top of your head.

You took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Yeah, I'm sorry, too." After giving him a last hug, you pulled away from him. "I want to hate you right now, Jensen. So much." You laughed lightly through your words. "But I don't think I'll be able to, not before I stop loving you." He gave you a sympathetic look, and you saw that he was hurting too. You stroked his cheek gently. "And I will always love you." You stood up on your toes and pressed a kiss on his lips for the last time. With a heavy sigh you turned away to grab your purse, coat and car keys. "I want the best for you. Truly." You said standing on the door. With a one last look at him, you smiled and stepped out of the house.

Before going to Elaine's, you did a quick stop at a grocery store. Today you felt like not giving a damn, you will get drunk with your sister this afternoon. You picked up more wine and sweet and savory snacks, cake and some fruit. Definitely too much food for the two of you.

"Someone's having a party, huh?" Cashier asked you with a smile on her face.

"Oh, yeah, mhmm, big party tonight."

After packing up your groceries, you dialed El's number again.

"Hey, just got out of store. Be there in 10."

"Alrighty, should I find some glasses for us?" What a dumb question.

"Don't ask stupid questions and come outside to help me with things."

Little while later, two of you were sitting on the couch. "So. Talk to me, Y/N." She snuggled in closer to you. You swirled wine around in the glass and stared into nothing. "Jensen and I are divorcing." You didn't want to look at her and she waited silently for you to continue. "But hey- it's a well known fact that half of marriages end in divorce so-" You tried to lighten your mood but failed miserably at that. "I guess we were just on the wrong side of that equation."

She took the wine glass from you and put both on the table.

"Come here, sweetie." She pulled you into tight embrace as both of you laid on the couch. "I know that's yet another stupid question from me but how are you feeling? Honest answers only."

"Hurt. Disappointed. Sad. I just want to be angry with him, but I can't." You sat up. "He- he found someone new, you know? Well.. He didn't exactly say that but I guess so." Elaine huffed angrily. "He cheated on you?" You nodded silently and topped up your glasses. You could only imagine what was going through her head in that moment. Certainly she'd want to say "I told you so". You waited for any kind of reaction from her, so you sat there in a silence for a while, until she spoke again. "That lying piece of sh-" You interrupted your sisters swearing. "Stop. No, he's really not that." You said smiling sorrowfully.

"Why are you so calm about this? I'd be livid right now. Hell, I am! He betrayed you."

"If he feels like he's happier with someone other than me, then I won't stand in his way." You said quietly. "It hurts like hell, but I won't be some petty ass bitch to him because of that. I just don't have it in me." She laughed at you. "Yeah, you don't. I'd probably be keying his car right now."

You sighed, feeling the light buzz from the wine starting to take over you. "I thought getting drunk with you would make me feel better but what I really want right now, is to sleep. For a week at least. I just can't think of anything else right now."

She got up from the couch, reaching her hand out to you. "Come."

"What? Where?" Your brows furrowed in confusion, but nonetheless you got up.

"You want to sleep, so let's go to sleep." Elaine said so matter-of-factly.

"But didn't you have any plans today?" She pulled you into a tight hug. "Yeah, I did, but you are more important."

Read part 2 here!

Taglist is always open / Send me a DM if you wish to be added/removed :)

@jackles010378 @cevansbaby-dove @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

#jacklesversebingo23 #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen x reader #jensen x you #jensen x y/n #angst #fluffy #fluff #hurt/comfort #jensen ackles #spn cast #supernatural cast

[monstermoviedean]

unparalleled media experience especially because there is no equivalent to jacting joices in any other media. i'm serious. it's some combination of winchester derangement syndrome + an ever-changing list of writers and directors + 15 seasons' worth of material and it means that at many points jensen knew dean winchester better than anyone else in the room. and i know, i know some of the joices were likely suggested by directors or producers or the scripts or other cast members. but every time we get a new script there's something on the screen that's different, something better, some missing piece of the 4d puzzle that is dean winchester.

#i'm watching peaky blinders and cillian murphy is a very good actor! #but i have never once gone 'wow he did this when the obvious choice was to do this' #or 'look at this tiny insignificant bit of body language which clearly says this' #it's partly because i'm normal about this show #but partly because the show does not ask you to assemble its characters #his character is supposed to be entirely legible #there are parts that are intentionally hidden but you can guess by the shapes of the shadows #but dean winchester is all constantly shifting shadows interrupted by periodic bursts of light #and jensen knows exactly when and where to shine that light #i said before thst dean is supposed to be legible and cas is the constantly shifting one #and i still believe that #the way tptb created dean was to be legible #but on-screen there's nuance and depth and life #you can see an entirely new world out of the corner of your eye #okay i obviously need to go to fucking bed. good night #spn

[writethelifeyouwant]

Everything's Bigger In Texas

Summary: You decide to drive up to Dallas to surprise your old high school buddy, Jared, while he’s there for a convention.

Pairing: Jared x Reader Rating: 18+ Tags: J2 convention hilarity, dick jokes, only one bed, high school friends, spooning, size kink Word Count: 3,504 Bingo Squares: @spnkinkbingo - Size Kink

A/N: Not set around any particular season. For the purpose of this story, Jared and Jensen are both single, non-fathers.

Commissioned by: @jbbarnesgirl She had a great prompt that this has now spawned a sequel (which will be a member exclusive on my website)! Thanks for letting my mind run wild on this one babe ❤️

You pull into the parking space the valet wrote on your ticket and park with a dramatic exhale of relief. You’ve actually gone through with it and made the three hour drive up to Dallas to surprise Jared at his convention this weekend.

It had been years since your last high school reunion in Austin when you’d run into each other and wound up drunk in a Waffle House at three in the morning, stuffing your faces with bacon and french fries. You and he were the kind of friends that were awful at keeping in touch but time traveled straight back to junior year anytime you ran into each other. You’ve always been able to talk and laugh like only a weekend had passed between visits instead of years.

You hope Jared’s happy to see you, because you’ve been bursting at the seams with excitement since you came up with your ‘surprise’ plan.

The hotel lobby is swarming with fans and you wonder how on earth you’re going to find Jared in all the bustle. Your plan is to find someone who looks like they’re working the convention and ask for directions to Jared and Jensen’s bodyguard, Clif, who you hope to God remembers dropping your drunk ass off at your apartment after the Waffle House incident. It’s not a very elegant plan but it’s all you’ve got. You spot someone with a lanyard and a walkie-talkie and beeline toward them, fingers crossed in your pocket.

Twenty minutes and several tiers up the convention staff hierarchy later you’re finally led to a service hallway and ushered towards a door, Clif standing guard stoically outside it. The employee escorting you speaks quietly to Clif while you stand there awkwardly, rocking back and forth, toes to heel, in an effort to contain your nervous energy. A look of recognition slowly dawns across the bodyguard’s face as he takes another look at you.

“Austin, a couple years ago?” he asks to confirm.

“High school reunion,” you nod in affirmation, relieved he actually does remember you.

“No getting Jared drunk until after the panel,” Clif admonishes, aiming a thick finger menacingly at your face, and you nod gravely before his face cracks into a grin and he swings the door behind him back on its hinges.

“Y/N?!” Jared’s facing the door and spots you immediately, his face breaking into a wide smile. The anxiety that had solidified in your chest with each passing mile on your way here disintegrates, carrying the tension out of your body as it melts away.

“Hey there, Hot Shot.”

Jared bounds forward and wraps you tightly in a hug, the muscles in his arms visibly bulging the sleeves of his t-shirt as he squeezes you against him, which you can’t help but notice because your eye level is at his bicep. You hug him back as tightly as you can manage, pressing your cheek into his chest.

“How ya doin’, squirt?” Jared grabs your shoulders and manhandles you away from him so he can get a better look at you, his eyes racing up and down your figure. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, Dallas is only a three hour drive,” you shrug. It’s no big deal really, you’d just wanted to see him. “Plus my mom cancelled our girls’ weekend, so I had nothing better to do,” you grin, your eyes twinkling up at him wryly. Behind you, you hear Jensen snort with laughter. Jared turns to his friend, giving him a withering look and Jensen chokes back another laugh, unable to hide his amusement.

“Dude, you were her back-up plan after her mom?”

“Shut up,” Jared rolls his eyes but you join in Jensen’s giggles.

“I’m Jensen, by the way,” the man in question raises a hand in greeting, and you smile back.

“Y/N,” you wave. “Went to high school with this nut case,” you jerk your thumb towards Jared.

“Feels like I do too,” Jensen laughs. “He still acts like he���s fourteen most of the time.”

“Hey!” Jared points an accusing finger at Jensen, “at least fifteen, thank you very much.”

“And what exactly is the distinction between fourteen and fifteen here, Jay?” he asks.

“He doesn’t pop a boner every time he talks to a girl anymore?” you offer, snickering. Jensen bursts out laughing, a full bellied, joyous sound that fills out every corner of the room. Jared is rolling his eyes again, but you spy the faint blush that’s started to creep up his neck, and based on the smirk Jensen’s wearing, you think he’s spotted it too.

“So,” Jared draws out the syllable, trying to change the topic. “Are you staying for the convention then?”

“Got my ticket and everything,” you wave your pass in the air. “But mainly I just wanted to see you, it’s been way too long.”

“Yeah, it has,” Jared squeezes your arm affectionately. “Where’s your seat? I think we’re getting called out soon.”

“Oh I’m with the plebs at the back, standing room. Seeing your ass is only worth so much money,” you tease.

“You’re standing?” Jared’s brow shoots up. “You won’t be able to see a damn thing,” he laughs.

“You’re tall enough to see from space, Bigfoot,” you try to hit him on the head but he easily stretches his neck so you can’t reach, illustrating your point.

“She’s gotcha there, J-Rod,” Jensen agrees, strolling forwards and smacking Jared on the back of the head for you, since your attempt was foiled. “But you don’t have to stand all the way back there, sweetheart,” Jensen adds. “Come out with us, we’ll have someone put you at the side of the stage.”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. I really don’t mind standing,” you protest. You didn’t want to take space away from the fans who had paid for the close seats. You’re only a casual watcher of the show anyways, ghosts and monsters aren’t so much your thing, you just watch it because of Jared.

“Nah, c’mon,” Jared ignores your protest, striding back towards the door and popping his head out to talk to Clif. “Can you have them slap an extra chair on the side of the stage? Y/N’s gonna stick around for the panel.”

“Sure thing,” Clif nods, and radioes a volunteer to get it done.

“Jared,” you roll your eyes at your friend.

“Too late,” he taunts. “You’re stuck with the fangirls now.”

“Just keep in mind all the shit I could tell them,” you threaten jokingly.

“Nah, you won’t do that.” Jared’s entirely unconcerned.

“Why not?”

“Because then I won’t pay for our drinks tab later,” he smirks.

You mime turning a lock and throwing away the key. “My lips are sealed.”

“You better tell me later though, sweetheart,” Jensen ducks his head to whisper in your ear as they usher you out the door.

“Buy me a couple cosmos, you can know anything you want,” you smirk, and let Jensen and Jared guide you out to the convention hall for their panel.

“I will definitely take you up on that,” Jensen’s breath ghosts ticklishly over your ear. He shoots you a wink as he ducks behind a dividing curtain and you wave back giggling, and make your way to the seat Clif is pointing you towards.

The panel is a whole lot of fun, and you have to admit it’s definitely better sitting up front than it would have been fighting to stay standing in the sea of hormones jostling at the back. This close up, you can see Jared and Jensen’s reactions much more clearly, too; every secretive grin between them, every twitching laugh line, every aborted glance back in your direction. Laughter rings through the crowd and you refocus your attention on the questions.

“Which one of us is the biggest what?” Jensen speaks into his mic, asking the girl on the opposite side of the stage to you to repeat her question.

“Well I’m the biggest,” Jared cuts in smirking, and the audience cheers and giggles. Jared flashes them a bright, goofy smile.

“Well, that depends on what she’s asking,” Jensen smacks Jared on the arm. The girl tries to ask her question again but she’s laughing through it and the words come out garbled again.

“Which one of us has the biggest pants?” Jared’s brow raises as he incorrectly repeats the question again. You know there’s no way that’s what the girl asked. “That’s still me darlin’.” He turns to your side of the stage goddamn winks, and you flush just as deeply as the girl asking her question. You roll your eyes at him, glad that he probably can’t see you very clearly due to the stage lights shining in his eyes.

“That topic is still up for debate, actually,” Jensen protests seriously.

“No it’s not,” Jared scoffs.

“Uh, yeah, it is.” Jensen’s not backing down. “Costume department compared our measurements bro, they’re the same.”

“You and I both know that didn’t include the measurement they’re talking about,” Jared glares jokingly out at the audience.

There’s wolf whistles and shrieks of delight from the crowd and Jensen bursts out laughing. “You’re gonna give them all aneurysms, man.”

You certainly feel like you might be having an aneurysm. Your blood is pumping hot and hard through your veins. You can actually hear it swirling around your body, leaking out into your capillaries, carrying burning embarrassment and desire to the tips of each vessel.

It’s a running joke, the size difference between you and Jared. He towers over most of the people he meets, so it’s not unsurprising that he towers over you as well. He’s called you ‘squirt’ as long as you can remember knowing him, and you’ve called him every name you can dream up, from ‘sasquatch’ to ‘jolly green giant’.

As you both grew older, and Jared’s physique caught up to his height, and your mind started to take up a more permanent residence in…ahem… lower places than it had inhabited in your youth, you began to wonder just how big Jared would be if you ever… You imagine big. Proportional, at the very least. Though, Jared has always been an overachiever, you imagine it might extend to this measurement as well. You secretly hope, anyway.

You gulp nervously. There’s a reason you and Jared had gotten so trashed the last time you’d hung out, and that was so you could drown your burgeoning crush in some socially acceptable poison and hope it didn’t break its head through the surface. Jared looks back at you and flashes you a smile, probably in relation to whatever he’d just said but you hadn’t been listening, mind too preoccupied thinking about the size of your friend’s dick. You let out a sigh of resignation – you were going to have to get smashed tonight, too.

“Oh,” Jensen’s voice rings through the auditorium as he finally understands the question. “Which one of us did the biggest prank?”

“Uh, Jensen,” Jared answers after a moment of dramatised consideration, “just now when he told you all he has a bigger dick than me.”

There’s an echoing thud as Jensen smacks Jared’s head with his microphone and Jared and Jensen both double up laughing, covering their mics so it doesn’t reverberate around the room. When things settle down after a minute you see Jensen lean towards Jared to say something privately. The mics don’t pick it up, but you’re close enough that you think you hear him say, “later tonight, we’re getting out the ruler.”

The hotel bar is basically empty, but you and Jared are still in a private room at the back so he doesn’t get mobbed by fans if they do happen to wander in. Jensen had joined you for a drink earlier, but he had to leave to perform at the Saturday night concert for the convention.

-

“Do you ever perform on Saturdays?” you poked at Jared, and both he and Jensen laughed wildly.

“Never in a million years,” Jared shook his head. “I just watch this guy give everyone in the room phantom orgasms all night.”

“Gross, dude,” Jensen shuddered as Jared guffawed but you had to agree, Jensen’s voice was orgasmic.

“Have fun with your ménage a several hundreds,” you waved Jensen off with a giggle.

“You’ll have to join in sometime,” Jensen backed out of the room with a wicked grin, wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously and leaving you and Jared laughing behind him.

-

“You want another one?” Jared asks, pointing at your nearly empty glass.

“If I have any more I’ll have to crawl back to Austin,” you hiccup, the alcohol making you giggle-y and unsteady despite your seated state.

“You’re not goin’ back to Austin, squirt,” Jared protests, drowning the remainder of his own glass.

“Am I being kidnapped?”

“Damn straight. You’re not driving anywhere tonight, don’t be stupid.”

“I was gonna dry out a little first,” you defend yourself. Of course you weren’t planning to drive home drunk.

“By the time you sober up it will be way too late to go back. Just stay the night here,” Jared shrugs, indicating it’s no big deal for you to crash. You think about it for a moment and then agree that staying over is a better plan. Besides, Jared will have a big fancy room since the convention is paying for them to stay here – he’ll have plenty of space for you.

“Fine,” you sigh dramatically but you aren’t all that perturbed, and Jared knows it too. “Thank you.”

“What are friends for?” Jared grins. “C’mon, I’ll grab a bottle from the bar and let’s go upstairs. I don’t want to get caught in the crowd after the concert finishes.” You also don’t want to be mobbed by hundreds of concert goers, so you happily follow Jared out of the bar and up to his hotel room.

Jared flops dramatically onto his bed when you get inside, but you stand by the door, taking in your surroundings. As you’d imagined, the room is lavish. Every piece of furniture is accented with metallics, and every soft surface is heaped with pillows, including the bed Jared is now snuggling back onto. But, you note with a bit of surprise, there is only one bed.

Apparently fancy doesn’t automatically come with multiple beds – and why should it? Jared hadn’t expected anybody to stay the night, he’d only needed the one bed. Had he known there was only one bed when he offered you a place to crash for the night? Or had someone else brought up the luggage that you could see piled at the foot of the bed, meaning he wouldn’t have known what the exact sleeping situation would turn out to be? You’re jolted out of your frenzied contemplation when Jared throws a pillow at your head, though it narrowly misses and hits the door behind you.

“Are you just gonna stand there all night?” he laughs, eyes crinkling.

“Uh, no, course not,” you scoff, hoping Jared assumes the flush creeping over your skin is from alcohol, and not embarrassment. Jared scoots over to one side of the bed and pats the empty space he’s just created. The bottle of whiskey he’d brought from the bar downstairs is propped next to him on the pillows and it bounces as you settle yourself on top of the covers. You reach for it and peel back the foil cap, pulling the cork free with a pop.

“Wanna watch something?” Jared rifles on the side of the bed, digging for his laptop in the bag on the floor.

“Whatever you want,” you shrug.

You inwardly hope watching something might help you control your drunk chatter. Your mind has been wandering to one specific place since the panel this afternoon and you’re hyper aware that when you get tipsy, your filter becomes non existent. You do not want to give Jared an unsolicited insight into your horribly inappropriate mind.

Your eyes shift from the bottle in your hands to Jared’s laptop, now open and sitting on his thighs while he surfs through movie options online. His hands overwhelm the breadth of the keyboard, the pads of each long finger almost bigger than the letter keys they’re hovering over. How far could those fingers reach if they were… No. You curtail that course of thought with a swig of whiskey straight from the bottle and flick your eyes away from his hands.

Jared’s legs are pressed together, gangly limbs and knees scrunched up and pushing the fabric at his hips into ripples. An unmissable bulge sits at the apex of his thighs, distending the denim so it’s stretched tightly across his cock while it’s bunched and wrinkled everywhere else. You swallow hard and tear your gaze away, forcing yourself to look back at Jared’s laptop. He’s stopped scrolling now, and after a moment you realise he’s asking you if the movie he’s hovering over is an okay choice. You nod mutely and take another drink.

“Woah there darlin’, save some for the rest of us,” he laughs, grabbing the bottle from your hands, fingertips brushing over yours as he wraps them around the green glass. You wonder if Jared feels the same pang of electricity that you do when you touch. He’s evidently curious as to why you recoiled so quickly, because he’s now carefully studying your hand and the fingers that had just brushed against his.

Your moment of thick silence is interrupted by the fanfare of opening credits as the movie begins to play, startling you. Jared smooshes himself further back into the feather pillows on the unfairly comfy bed and stretches his arms wide, patting the pillow he’s using as an armrest to summon you to him.

Nervous and giddy all at once, you tuck yourself into the crook of his arm, curling up against his side. Even laying down he feels so much bigger than you. Your eyes drop again, unbidden, to his lap and you rip your gaze away quickly. The whiskey must be settling in now, because you start to feel sleepy and because, for just a second, you think that the bulge in Jared’s crotch looks even larger than it had a few minutes earlier.

Jared pulls you close against him, offering you the whiskey bottle again, and you take it happily. The two of you lazily glug more booze and laugh along with whatever comedy is on the laptop, and you’re utterly content. At some point in time your neck loses its ability to support your head and you topple it sideways onto Jared’s shoulder.

“You comfy there, Y/N?”

“Mm-hmm,” you hum sleepily, snuggling even deeper into Jared’s chest, your arm winding itself around his waist of its own accord, and Jared squeezes you against him, laughing softly into your hair.

You aren’t sure when you fell asleep – you don’t remember the end of the movie at all. You don’t even remember how you’d wound up under the covers, cradled snugly in the bend of Jared’s body. Wiggling a little to reintroduce feeling into your left arm, you shift backwards into his chest, secretly hoping the arm currently resting on top of the covers might drop around your waist as you continue to sleep.

Arching out to stretch your legs a little, you wind up nudging your hips back into Jared’s and you freeze in shock. Here, pressed close beneath the confines of cotton-swaddled feathers, you feel it… and you can tell – Jared hadn’t been kidding at the panel earlier. He must be bigger than Jensen, because there’s no way anyone could be physically larger than what you feel pressing into the curve of your ass right now.

Your whole body flushes, but you’re too scared to move away lest you wake Jared, so you stay. You try to breathe, systematically unclenching the muscles in your body from head to toe and allowing yourself to relax against your bed companion. Darkness settles around you when your eyes drift shut again but the light from Jared’s laptop still casts a faint blue tint against your eyelids.

That comforting blue morphs into a shocking orange, and your eyes squint against the unexpected source of light now coming from the open door. Seconds later it’s even brighter as the lights in the room are switched on to reveal Jensen leaning casually against the back of the door, smirking in the direction of the bed. Behind you, Jared has jolted awake, sitting up and pitching you forward into the mattress with the force of his disturbance.

“Jay?” he asks blearily, yawning through the word.

“Why did I have a feeling this is what I’d be walking into tonight?” Jensen answers with a laugh and a kind roll of his eyes. You look sleepily between both of the men, confused as all hell.

Finally, it occurs to you why Jensen must be in the room – and why there had only been one bed.

Part 2 now up as an exclusive commission on my website!

We’re All Mads Here: @vulgar-library @tintentrinkerin @negans-lucille-tblr @fandomfic-galore @petitgateau911 @schaefchenherde @kickingitwithkirk @little-diable @laxe-chester67 @kassyscarlett @austin-winchester67 @flamencodiva @katbratsupernaturalwhore

All SPN: @cemini-winchester @akshi8278 @stoneyggirl @deandreamernp @lyarr24 @lovealways-j @slamminmine @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @eddiesgirl @raidens-realm @tatted-trina6 @defenderrosetyler @delightfullykrispypeach @05supernatural20 @sams-sass @calaofnoldor @thinkinghardhardlythinking

#spnkinkbingo #size kink #jared x reader #friends to lovers #surprise ending

[theyarebothgunshot]

jib 7 breakdown and analysis 

a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7. 

first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 

standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.

the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot. 

another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me. 

now let’s get into the specifics. 

although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos. 

between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).

considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).

from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about. 

ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night. 

also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.

misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.

i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well. 

this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport���, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!! 

look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes. 

i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc). 

misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.

i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that. 

i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone. 

sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking. 

let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.

misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).

misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point). 

WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync. 

when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker. 

i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it. 

i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.

when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story. 

i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!

‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.

then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).

something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]

oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.) 

this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should). 

there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much. 

i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.

the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.

i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ‘will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.

if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.

the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves. 

aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha). 

i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions. 

i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.

when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).

listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.) 

i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.

you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013. 

and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)

okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands. 

misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]

misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.

fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’

this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit. 

the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation. 

there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so. 

how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.

jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.

‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it. 

can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it. 

and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.

(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)

okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help. 

 honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync. 

jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)

i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still. 

i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…

that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.

and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!

#cockles #jib 7 #this is very very long but in my defense this panel is an hour long #comments and thoughts are always appreciated!!

[waywardnerd67]

Star Crossed: Shining Star

Summary: Between filming and conventions, Jensen Ackles hardly has a moment to himself. During a panel one weekend he learns that his favorite band’s lead singer is a fan of his. Encouraged by his best friend, Jensen steps out of his comfort zone and reaches out to her on social media. That one decision throws his entire world into a whirlwind adventure. Pairing: No Pairing Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1595 A/N: None

Check out: Star Crossed Masterlist

Jensen Ackles walked into his apartment kicking off his shoes by the door. Thankful to be done filming for the week and looking forward to not having to travel too far for the convention this weekend. He loved meeting fans and performing on Saturday nights. There were some weeks where he wished he could relax in his apartment and not have to worry about traveling.

Deciding a night of Netflix and pizza was in order, Jensen took a quick shower then put on some sweats with a t-shirt. He had settled in with his pizza with The Witcher series pulled up to watch when his phone started buzzing.

“No Jared, I don’t want to come out.”

Laughter came ringing through the speaker, “Jackles, it’s only a few crew and myself chilling at our normal spot. Come out for a little while.”

“What part of no don’t you understand? The N or the O?” Jensen rubbed his forehead hearing everyone behind Jared chanting his name, “Buddy, I’m showered and in for the evening. I’ll make it up to y’all tomorrow night.”

“Fine old man, see you tomorrow.”

He groaned, ending the call and no longer interested in the show on Netflix. Turning off the tv, he walked over to his record player turning on the band he had been listening to on repeat. He discovered Wayward Stars a few years ago when a fan gifted him their cd. They were a hard rock, alternative metal band with lyrics that spoke to the soul. Also, the lead singer was drop dead gorgeous.

There had been late night shoots he would turn on one of their albums listening to (Y/N) (Y/L/N)’s voice letting it seep into the far reaches of his mind. As he sat in his apartment alone, he allowed his mind to wander of singing with her on stage one day. Making a mental note to talk with Creation and Rob Benedict about getting her to come to Vegas for SNS. For now, he let the music flow over him well into the night.

The next day, Jensen slept in until he heard Clif knocking on his door. Twenty minutes later, he was walking down to the lobby where Jared was sitting with his eyes closed.

“Hey Jared!” He yelled.

Jared jumped falling off the chair he was on. Jensen and Clif started laughing as he mumbled curses under his breath getting off the floor.

“Not funny and I will get you back.” Jared’s eyes narrowed on him.

“I’m sure you will, big guy. Now, can we get on with our day?”

They had a few interviews at the studio and some meetings before they had to get ready for the concert that night. Since the convention was in Vancouver and there was no traveling, Jensen had agreed to sing that night. He was excited to perform new songs and to be in front of the fans. As they pulled into the studio parking lot, he sighed knowing it was going to be a long day ahead of him.

It was near six o’clock when Jensen arrived back at his apartment to get ready for the night. Once again, he turned on his favorite Wayward Stars song, A Light in the Dark. It was a slower song with beautiful lyrics and then a killer riff in the end. He was in his room, singing when he heard his door open. Only two people had a key to his place and he only needed one guest to know who was walking in.

“Really? Wayward Stars again?” Jared flopped down on his couch.

“I can’t help it that you have horrible taste in music.” He chuckled.

“I like the band… just not 24/7 like you.”

He rolled his eyes, shutting off his record player, “Don’t judge me. Now come on and let’s go hang out with the fam.”

Saturday Night Special was exactly that, special. Especially when they were in Vancouver. The cast and crew seemed to cut loose a little more backstage. He was catching up with Matt Cohen when they called him to get ready to go on stage. Jared and Misha were standing by the stage to watch as Rob called him up on stage.

There was nothing more exhilarating than being hit with a roar of an audience. An electric current steady ran down his body over the next fifteen minutes as he performed. When he walked off stage, as promised, he celebrated with Jared, Misha and others until the early hours of morning.

Their early morning panel was rough as the coffee worked through knocking out the whiskey from his system. The last question of their morning panel came from a young lady wearing a Wayward Stars shirt.

“Love your shirt.” Jensen smiled.

“We get it Ackles, you’re their biggest fan.” Jared jokes.

The fan laughed, “Actually my question is about them. SPN family loves this band since they are fans of the show. Wondering if you ever had a chance to meet them or if they could be invited to a SNS show?”

“Go on fanboy…”

Jensen rolled his eyes, “I would love to meet them one day and have them come perform during Saturday Night Special. I’m forever thankful to the fan who gave me their cd a couple of years ago. Many, many a night their music has kept me sane during shooting. So yeah, definitely would love to meet them.”

“I would love for Jensen to meet them so I can film it and post it on social media for everyone to see him fanboy all over (Y/N).”

The crowd ohhh as Jensen glared at Jared, “Alright, alright… I think we have to get going now. We will see y’all later.”

Waving as they walked off the stage. As soon as they were on the stairs, Jensen punched his friend in the shoulder.

“Ow!”

“You deserve that.” Jensen could hear Jared laughing all the way to the green room.

The rest of the convention went without a hitch. Monday morning brought a whole new week of filming. Jensen was in his trailer when his phone buzzed seeing a text from Jared.

He pulled up his app, seeing a few friends tagging him in a post from a girl named Addy. Clicking on the YouTube link surprised to see (Y/N) watching him sing from SNS.

“I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Text flashed on the screen, “#1 Jensen Ackles Fangirl”

He sat there stunned for a moment watching the video again. He could not wrap his mind around that she was a big fan of his. He knew the band liked the show, but to think he was perfect? His heart thumped against his chest as his shaking hands typed a message back to Jared.

Jensen took a few deep breaths before typing a Tweet then deleting it. He typed another one and deleted it. The third time he hit post and immediately regretted it, sounding like an idiot. Within minutes he received a notification from (Y/N) on Twitter.

Before he could reply, Jared was calling him, “Are you freaking out?”

“N-No… maybe, yes.” He stammered.

Jared’s laughter filled his ear, “Oh my god I wish I could see your face right now. This is your chance to make all your dreams come true.”

“I’m hanging up now, Jerk.”

“See you in an hour, Bitch.” Jared was still laughing as Jensen ended the call.

He watched the video a few more times and sent another Tweet out to (Y/N) after following her page. He went on all his social media making sure he was following her before realization hit that it seemed stalkerish.

“Jay, calm your roll.” He muttered to himself.

Putting his phone down, he tried to go over his lines for the next scene they were shooting. When he could not concentrate then he buckled, putting in his earbuds and turning on Wayward Stars. His hands were still trembling as he tried to control his fan moment.

Over the next several weeks, Jensen and (Y/N) were chatting all over social media. He posted a picture on Instagram tagging her in holding up her vinyl record.

Finally, he gathered the courage to ask for her number in a DM to chat with her more in private. Since their fans were going nuts over their new friendship. Now they would text each other everyday like they had known each other forever. She would tell him about her shows and cities she was in. He would chat about filming without spoiling anything for her. The only thing he wished could happen was their schedules to sync up so they could meet.

That thought ran through his mind everyday especially when he was at conventions like the upcoming weekend in his hometown. Thursday night, he was on a plane heading to Dallas when a notification popped up on his phone from (Y/N) posting on Twitter.

“Not next to me.” He mumbled snapping a picture of himself before replying to her Tweet.

He knew where she was off too after they had talked earlier in the day. They were still a thousand miles apart but closer than they had ever been since their friendship had begun. Settling back into his seat, he enjoyed listening to Wayward Stars newest song released that week.

If you enjoyed this story then check out my Masterlist!

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[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Begins

Part 21

Chapter Summary: The reader sets out to drown herself in another mistake, leading Jared and Jensen to finally say what they have been holding back. 

Warnings: Language, excessive alcohol consumption, another verbal altercation

Word Count: 2.7K+

Author’s Note: I mixed in a few funny moments to try and cut all this angst I’m throwing your way. Plus, the next part starts to lighten things up just a little bit. Thanks again for sticking around and reading, I love every one of ya! xoxo Alex

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more works by yours truly.

It was harder than she anticipated to pull herself from the state she had allowed herself to fall into. She would never admit to how broken she now was. Long ago she had promised herself that she would never let another man define her life, and here she was sobbing like she had nothing left to live for. She felt pathetic. She felt like she was twenty-five again. 

As the sobs ebbed away into short hiccups, Y/n wiped away the mascara running down her cheeks. As sad as it was, she just felt lost again. Nothing made any sense to her anymore. Everything that she had thought she had known, about her brother and her boyfriend, had all crumbled to the ground in a matter of weeks. Now she was left to pick up the scattered pieces. The only problem was she didn’t know where to start. 

Before Jared could get home to find her there, Y/n decided that what she truly needed was one last bad decision. So, she pulled herself together long enough to fix the tears stains down her cheeks and hide the puffiness under her eyes. Then she was off to drown her mistakes in alcohol. 

****

The lights from the city below bled into the light shining from Jensen’s television. He sat perched on the couch, a beer in hand that had long since gone warm. He wasn’t paying attention to the sitcom on the screen, his gaze instead fixed on the peeling label on the bottle. 

There was no way he could have truly anticipated her reaction to him telling her they needed to take a break. Y/n was a smart woman, but she was also much like her brother, deeply rooted in her emotions. It was not a bad thing, in any sense of the word, but it meant that he saw this going two ways. One was exactly how it had played out. Jensen has gone over in his head time and time again how he could have reworded things in a vain attempt to try and ease her pain. The second was her understanding. It was not far fetched of him to believe that she would have been thinking the same thing, that maybe, just maybe, them taking a break may help heal all of their relationships. 

Jensen was not lucky this time. 

The sound of his phone vibrating against the coffee table broke him out of his daze. He glanced at the number, recognizing the local area code. Intrigued, he answered, completely unprepared for what await him. 

****

The bar sat in the middle of nowhere on a two lane highway with nothing but trees as far as the eye could see in all directions. Jensen got chills as he pulled into the parking lot. The place looked like it could have easily been one out of an episode of Supernatural, and he was scared what all he would find once he made his way inside. 

It was a Friday evening, yet there didn’t seem to be too many cars outside, for which he was thankful for. The less people witnessed him carting off a drunk woman the better. Not to mention it would be Jared’s little sister he was helping stumble out the door. He couldn’t worry too much about that now though, his bigger focus was on making sure Y/n got home safe. 

The bell jingled overhead as Jensen pushed the door open. No one paid him any mind, all of them too inside their own head and their own troubles to worry about a new patron in the bar. A quick scan of the room didn’t turn up Y/n, so he went with plan B. He made his way over to the bar, leaning over the wooden top and tapping it with his knuckles to get the bartender’s attention. “Hey, buddy, I’m looking for Oliver.”

“You Jensen?” The guy wiped his hands on the towel he had stuffed into his apron as he made his way over to Jensen.

“Yeah, where is she?” 

“My manager has her in a booth over there.” Jensen’s eyes shifted in the direction Oliver nodded his head, seeing Y/n slumped in her seat, her arms crossed and a pout on her lips. “She’s been trying to coax her to drink some water but she just won’t do it. I was going to call her an Uber, but her address is listed in her phone as Texas and I don’t think Uber does that. Found your name in her emergency contacts, she’s been muttering nonsense about you since about her fourth glass.” Oliver leaned his weight onto his hands upon the bar, eyeing up Jensen. 

“Thanks. Here, this should cover her tab, no?” Jensen held out a few bills for the bartender who nodded and took the cash. Jensen stuffed his wallet back in his jeans before heading over to Y/n. She perked up when she saw him heading her way. 

“Jensen…” His name slurred from her lips, equal parts happiness and despair. 

“Hey, sweetheart. I’m here to take you home, how does that sound?” He squatted down next to the booth, bringing himself eye level with her. 

“No, I can’t go back there! I hate Jared.” She shook her head violently. Jensen put his hands on her arms, rubbing up and down to soothe her. 

“You don’t hate Jared. You love your brother.” He tried, but she wasn’t having it. 

“I do, I hate him. And I hate you.” Her brow furrowed as if she had just remembered her new distaste for the man come to rescue her. She hiccuped before continuing. “You two and all your stupid meddling. I’m a grown ass woman, I can decide what’s best for me, you know?” Her words twisted the knife already piercing his heart. 

“I do know. And I think you know that you need to get some rest. But you can’t do that here. Let’s get in the car and we can go from there. How does that sound?” She chewed on her lip, contemplating his offer for a moment before nodding solemnly. “That’s my girl.” Jensen stood and offered his hand out to her. She took it, but in her inebriated state, needed help not only to stand, but to walk out to the car. Jensen leaned down and threw her arm over his shoulders so he could help support her weight and help her stand. She stumbled over her heels a little as they made their way to Jensen’s car. He slid her into the back, laying her across the bench seat. She curled into herself instantly, her eyes fluttering shut. 

Jensen sighed as he shut the door behind her. He had never seen her even close to this drunk. Or this sad. The sadness that flickered behind her eyes when she had first saw him made his gut wrench. He hated thinking that he had driven her here. That had never been his intention. He was only trying to do what he thought was right for everyone. He loved her, he couldn’t deny that now, but Jared was important to him too. It was better that he was just friends with both of them than losing both of them forever. He had hoped that Jared would get over it, but things had only gotten worse. And now, he was dragging a drunk Y/n home because he had broken her heart. He only hoped Jared didn’t hit him again for this one. He blamed himself enough as it was. 

He made sure to keep an eye on her as he drove, glancing in the rearview mirror frequently to make sure she was still breathing. Thankfully, she slept peacefully the whole way. She was going to be mad when she realized where he was taking her. It was the lesser of two evils. Either he took her to his place and let her like him for a little while longer but then Jared chews him out for not calling him, or he takes her to Jared, who keeps an eye on her and she gets mad at Jensen. He was just hopeful that if she does get mad, that she doesn’t remember it in the morning. 

It was nearing two in the morning as Jensen pulled into Jared’s place. He climbed into the back seat, hovering over Y/n so he could wake her gently. “Hey, Y/n/n. It’s time to get up so I can get you upstairs and into bed.” He brushed her messy hair from her face as he spoke to her. Her eyes fluttered open easier than he thought they would, a small smile on her lips as she registered what he had said. 

“I’ll always get into bed with you.” Her hand smacked against his shoulder in what he assumed was supposed to be a sensual movement. 

“Alright there. Come on.” He moved back out of the car and dragged her along with him. Her little nap as Jensen carted her across town did little to sober her up. And apparently she had already forgotten she was supposed to hate him. He wasn’t sure what her worse, knowing she loved him so much she drank herself stupid or that she loved him so much she was trying to convince herself that she hated him. 

Y/n was still unsteady as Jensen guided her inside and up to the apartment she shared with Jared. Her fingers gripped tightly into Jensen’s coat as he knocked on the front door. Even if he had been able to find her keys, he didn’t want to just barge in on Jared. 

The sounds of Jared shuffling around could be heard through the door before it finally flung open.

“What the hell?” Jared was trying to let his eyes adjust to the brightness of the hallway as he took in the scene in front of him. 

“I got a call from the bartender at Trappers saying she needed to be picked up. I was closer so I went and grabbed her.” Jensen explained as he brought her inside.

“Hey! You brought me to Jared’s!” Y/n slurred as she turned into him, nearly causing him to trip over her feet.

“I did, because this is where you are staying right now.” Jensen explained to her, causing her to start giggling. 

“Like brother like sister right? You remember that, when Jared had to be carried in here drunk because he found out we were fucking?” Her voice lowered on the last word of her sentence, like Jared may overhear their “secret”. Jensen caught her hand that had snuck its way to his jaw, pulling it from his face and casting a wary look at Jared. He couldn’t stop her actions or the words that came out of her mouth, but he could at least try and limit them for Jared’s sake, and ultimately his own. 

“Alright, you’re done talking.” He assured her as he moved her body so he could finish taking her to her room. 

“She didn’t even tell me she was going out.” Jared sounded confused as he followed Jensen into Y/n’s room. Jensen pulled back her comforter and laid her down onto the pillows. She didn’t want to release her grip on him at first, nearly pulling him down with her. When he regained his balance, he moved to take off her shoes, setting them on the ground by her bedside table. She mumbled something he didn’t quite hear as he tucked her into her blankets. 

“Jensen,” Her voice was louder this time, cracking like she was about to break down into tears as she gripped his wrist when he tried to leave. Jensen sat down on the edge of her bed, leaning in close to her.

“Yes?” 

“Don’t go. Please?” 

“I can’t stay. You know that.” Jensen smiled down at her, trying to be reassuring even though he had no idea if she could even tell with the way her eyes were drooping. 

“I don’t.” Her brow furrowed as she struggled to understand. 

“Jared’s going to take care of you from here. You’ve gotta sleep now, though.” Jensen promised her that she wouldn’t be alone when he left. 

“No, you.”

“Y/n/n,” Jensen sighed heavily. He had known how stubborn she could be, but Jared was already breathing down his neck and he didn’t wish to push his luck. 

“I love you. Please, don’t leave me.” Jensen didn’t think his heart could break any more than it already was, but he was mistaken. Hearing the sob rock her body as she gripped his bicep like it was her lifeline physically pained him. He wanted nothing more than to try and fix what he had destroyed, but now he only feared he had made it worse. This wasn’t what he wanted to be in her life. A destructive force that ruined her closest relationship and broke her heart. He never meant to make things so complicated. Now, he had no idea what to do to make things right. 

“I know.” He leaned into her, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead. The only thing he could do was wait until she fell asleep. He let the backs of his knuckles run up and down her arm until her grip on him loosened on its own. Once he was free from her grasp, he slipped away and out of her room.

Jared was leaning against the wall opposite her door as Jensen pulled it closed behind him. Jared had a deep frown on his face, the lines in his forehead scrunched together in thought. He didn’t say anything as Jensen walked past him and towards his front door, he simply followed after him. 

“You guys assumed I was just doing this to spite you, but this is exactly what I was trying to avoid. I didn’t want to see my sister hurt yet another time! Yet here we are because you did exactly that!” Jared pointed an accusing finger at his co-star. 

“Tell me, Jared, have you really always thought that low of me? Do you think that I just go around getting a kick out of breaking women’s hearts? I thought we were closer than that.” Jensen had spun back around when Jared’s voice stopped him before he could open the door. Both were on the verge of shouting, but remembering the woman sleeping just down the hall, were trying their damndest to keep their voices even. 

“You’re right, I did think we were closer than that. Then you went and slept with my sister behind my back and now she’s lying comatose in her bed because she drank half a bar when you broke her heart!” 

“Jesus, Jared. You can’t put that all on me. I admit it, we made a mistake and I’m sorry that we hurt you, I am. But I love your sister, more than I’ve ever loved any other woman. And I know that to her, family is everything. You are everything. Since it seems you won’t move on and forgive us, I made the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make.” Jensen swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing as he fought back the tears in the corner of his eyes. “I had to let go of the best thing to ever happen to me, so she could have you. She might not be able to see it right now, and I hate myself for how she is hurting, but she will come around one day. Y/n will know that you mean more to her than I ever could. I can only hope when that day comes, she will no longer hate me.”

“So it’s all my fault, then?” Jared’s jaw ticked as he stared down Jensen.

“No, weren’t you listening? I’m saying it’s all our faults. No one is innocent in all of this. I’m just taking responsibility and trying to fix what I can, for both of you.” Jensen was done talking about this now. Things were still too heated for an adult conversation, unfortunately. He truly believed what he was saying to the man he had once considered his brother. He could only pray that Jared and Y/n could see his side of things. He turned and pulled open Jared’s front door. He paused one last time, his shoulders sagging. 

“I’m sorry.” He offered one last time, only hope in his heart that Jared would actually hear him this time.

“I know.”

Part 22

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[katymacsupernatural]

Midnight Confessions

Dean Winchester x Reader

Written For: @spnfluffbingo

Square Filled: Free Space

This was requested by a dear friend. @harleylilo88. I’m so sorry it took so long!!!

Summary: You never knew you talked in your sleep. Until things get awkward between you and Dean.

Warnings: A little angst

You could hear them whispering in the library, their voices undecipherable in the distance. Dropping the grocery bags in the kitchen, you rounded the corner, stopping as Dean’s voice raised.

“Do you think it’s the truth?” He asked before Sam hushed him once again. You took that moment to round the corner. It didn’t take Sam long to notice you. Smacking Dean’s shoulder, he nodded towards you, both men freezing.

“What’s up?” You asked, but Dean took off down the other hallway, leaving you alone with Sam who rubbed his neck awkwardly.

“Nothing,” he muttered, but you had known him long enough to know he wasn’t completely telling the truth. “We were just talking about this new case.”

While you didn’t believe him, you decided not to push it. The truth would come out eventually. It always did. “A hunt?”

Sam seemed relieved you took the bait. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair, nodding too vigorously. “Yeah, just over the state border. Dean’s already getting the car ready to go. You wanna come?”

“Sure,” you answered. “I can be ready in ten.”

True to your words, you were ready in ten minutes, tossing your duffel bag on the backseat before you slid in as well. Dean was already in the front seat, his eyes never meeting yours as he nervously tapped the steering wheel. Sam threw an awkward smile over his shoulder before Dean turned the Impala out of the garage and down the road.

Both men stayed quiet, strange for a road trip. Wishing they would just tell you what was up, you leaned your head back, closing your eyes and letting the gentle movements of the car lull you to sleep.

“Y/N, wake up!” Sam exclaimed right next to your ear. Startled awake, you shot forward, your head connecting with his.

“Oof,” you mumbled, rubbing your tender forehead as he did the same. “Next time, maybe not so loud?”

Blinking the sleep from your eyes, you quickly realized that Dean was nowhere to be found. You were parked in some sort of motel parking lot, the sun sinking behind the stuccoed two-story building. “Where’s Dean?”

Sam brushed the hair back from his face, one of his few tells. He was nervous and frustrated, and you wanted to know what the hell was going on. “He went to the bar.”

You climbed out of the car, stretching your back. “Wow, that’s fast. Even for him. What’s the big rush?”

Sam sighed, handing you a room key. “Y/N, I hate to break it to you, but I think tonight you should definitely sit down and talk with Dean. That’s the only way this thing is going to blow over.”

“What thing?” You asked, but he was already moving away from you, heading to room 14. Peering down at your own key, you noticed you had your own room. Room 21 which was on the second floor, far away from them. That, paired with Sam’s comment had tears stinging in your eyes as you tried to figure out exactly what you had done wrong.

Sniffling, you took your bag and climbed the stairs, each step feeling as if your feet were encased in concrete. Shuffling past an old woman who stared suspiciously at you, you pushed open the door to room 21, wincing at the single bed in the middle. Another reminder that you might have somehow screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to you.

Hours later, you still felt horrible. Cuddled up in the rough hotel sheets, you stared at the TV, attempting to watch the local news for a clue about your case. Sam was no doubt sitting below you, searching for everything he could find about the victims. Dean, well, you had no idea if he was back from the bar yet.

The bright neon light of the hotel shined through your curtains, the sky pitch black behind it, and you shut off the TV, planning on getting a couple of hours of sleep. Hoping that everything would seem better in the morning.

It was hard, but finally, you fell asleep, the highway by the window lulling you to sleep. It seemed shortlived however when a sudden noise had your eyes snapping open, your heart racing as you reached for the knife you always kept under your pillow.

“It’s just me,” Dean slurred, plopping down in the only chair in the room. With the light from the neon sign, you saw he was holding a whiskey bottle that had to be at least three-quarters empty.

“Dean, this isn’t your room,” you argued, making no move to climb out of bed. You watched him carefully, noticing that his shirt was slightly unbuttoned, his hair standing on end. He was sprawled in the seat, his body loose, unwound more than you had ever seen him. “You’re drunk.”

He shook his head, the bottle almost falling from his fingers. But even in his inebriated state, he was able to stop it from falling. “Not complet..compltel..ly,” he stuttered. “Just enough to be...brave enough.”

“Brave Enough for what?” You asked, your fingers nervously toying with the unraveling thread of the cheap sheets.

“To finally talk about all those nights!” He exclaimed before taking another drink of whiskey. “You and that damn mouth of yours.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” You yelled back, tired of being accused of something you didn’t even know about.

Placing the whiskey bottle on the table beside him, he stood up, almost knocking over the lamp as he made his way over to you. “The last two weeks we shared a hotel room together. Right?”

You nodded, staying silent. “And then, back at the bunker, your room is right next to mine? You prefer to sleep with your door slightly open?”

“Yeah, but I don’t see…,”

“Y/N, you talk in your sleep!” He finally got to the point. “All those nights. In the hotel rooms, loud enough I could hear you in the hallway. You talked. Any idea what you talked about?”

“If I did, would I be this freaking confused and hurt?” You asked. “Between you and Sam I’m going crazy!”

“Me too darling. Me too,” he sighed. “Y/N, you talk about your dreams a lot. What you want. What you wish life was like. But mostly, you talk about me. About how you wish things were different between us.”

“I talk a lot,” you whispered, your heart plummeting. You had never imagined that your sleeping brain would give away your greatest secret.

“At first it was awkward,” he muttered. “Hearing you say those things, knowing you would die if you knew. But then, hearing you felt the same. I had no idea how to handle it.”

“You feel the same?”

“Sweetheart, hearing those words from your lips, I wanted nothing more than to hear them when you were awake. It’s something I had dreamed about for a long time.”

You loved hearing this. That he felt the same, but then you remembered he was drunk. He probably wouldn’t even remember this in the morning, and you would go back to the awkwardness from the past few weeks. “Dean, you’re drunk. Go back to your room, and if you remember this, we can talk in the morning.”

“There’s no way I will forget this,” he promised, but he still headed to the door. “And we will talk more tomorrow.”

He left you alone, and wide awake. Your heart raced as you laid back down, wondering what was going to happen now. Would he remember? Or would you have that awkward distance that would send you on your way?

Your mind refused to quiet down as you tossed and turned, and as the sun started to rise, you gave up. A long warm shower later, you were packing up your bags, ready to head and find some breakfast.

Opening the door, you almost ran into Dean, who stood in front of you, two cups of coffee in his hands. “Morning,” he announced cheerfully as if he hadn’t drunk an entire bottle of whiskey last night. “Fresh cup of Joe, just the way you like it,” he assured you, handing you the steaming cup of coffee.

“Thanks,” you answered carefully, watching to see what was going to happen.

“Oh wait!” He stopped you as you started to raise the cup up. “I wanted to give you something else first.”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

He took the coffee cup from you, sitting them both down on the table beside the empty whiskey bottle. “This,” he spoke softly, cupping your cheek. “I remember everything about last night.” With those words, his lips brushed against yours, softly. “And I wanted to let you know, I’m grateful you talked in your sleep.”

Dean/Jensen Tags: @acortez82 @acreativelydifferentlove @adoptdontshoppets @a-girl-who-loves-disney @akshi8278  @bebravekeeponfighting  @bi-danvers0 @brindz30 @cap-just-said-language @colette2537   @deansgirl215  @flamencodiva @hamiltrash1411 @its-not-a-tulpa @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @justanotherwinchester @just-another-winchester @karouwinchester @keikoraventeller  @krys198478 @librarygeekery @magssteenkamp @misspygmypie @mlovesstories @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk  @mrspeacem1nusone @nothinbuttrouble2 @ria132love @ruprecht0420     @sortaathief @superseejay721517 @squirrelnotsam @team-free-will-you-idjiot @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @torn-and-frayed @tricksterdean @wonderfulworldofwinchester @woodworthti666

Forever Tags: @aditimukul @alexwinchester23 @algud @amanda-teaches @andreaaalove   @artisticpoet @atc74 @be-amaziing @camelotandastronauts @caswinchester2000 @cpag7 @chelsea072498  @closetspngirl   @docharleythegeekqueen @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008  @esoltis280   @foxyjwls007 @gh0stgurl @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek  @heyitscam99 @hobby27 @horsegirly99​ @imsuperawkward @internationalmusicteacher @iwriteaboutdean​  @jayankles @jensen-gal @justsomedreaming @just-another-busyfangirl @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @lifelovelaughangell123 @li-ssu​ @linki-locks11​ @littleblue5mcdork​  @lowlyapprentice​   @maui137 @mersuperwholocked-lowlife​ @mogaruke​ @monkeymcpoopoo​ @musiclovinchic93  @nanie5​   @percussiongirl2017​ @plaid-lover-bay25​   @roonyxx​ @ronja-uebrick​ @roxyspearing​ @samanthaharper2018 @samanddeanmyheroes​ @sandlee44​ @shamelesslydean​ @simonsbluee​ @sillesworldofwriting​ @sgarrett49​ @spnbaby-67​ @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester​ @spnwoman​   @superbadassnatural​ @thatcrazybookwormgeek​   @thewinchesterchronicles​ @vvinch3st3r​ @wecantgiggleitsafandom @whimsicalrobots​ @winchester-writes​ @zombiewerewolfqueen​

#spnfluffbingo #dean winchester x reader #supernatural x reader #supernatural reader insert #katy writes #spn fanfic #dean fanfic #dean x you #reader insert #supernatural fluff

[dc41896]

Secret’s Out

Pairing: Jake JensenxBlack Reader

⚠️: None all fluff💕!!

Sat on the black leather couch, you impatiently looked at the clock on the wall as you waited for your boyfriend to arrive for your date. He forgot your last date nights from being so busy the last couple of months, so he promised to give you the best night of your life.

Securing the fallen strap of your short, white, flowy dress back on your shoulder, you glance at your phone to make sure you didn’t miss any of his texts or calls.

“Relax it’s just after 7,” you thought to yourself taking a breath. “I’m sure he didn’t forget....again.”

Just to check though, you picked up your phone sending him a reminder masked as an innocent check in. Either way if he forgot or not, your nerves could relax now that you said something.

Y/N: Hope you had a great day at work☺️, can’t wait for tonight! ❤️

Grabbing the remote off the coffee table, you figure you might as well catch up on your shows while you wait as you tucked your legs under you and lie your head on the armrest. By the time you finished an episode, you were sure he’d be here ready to go.

However one episode turned into two, then four, and so on until you didn’t even feel yourself fall asleep holding the remote close to your chest. Eyes fluttering open to now see the “are you still watching?” message across your tv, you quickly reach for your phone to see that it’s now 10 o’clock and no word from Jake.

“And he forgot again,” you sigh, standing up to go to your shared bedroom to change into your pajamas and wash the makeup from your face. Walking down the hall, you pass the familiar mysterious door your boyfriend practically begged you not to go in when you started living together. He didn’t say much about it, just that his “important and personal belongings were there” and he’d really appreciate it if you didn’t open the door.

“I bet he’d remember if it had something to do with that room,” you muttered to yourself crossing the threshold of your bedroom and placing your purse on the nearby dresser.

And that’s when your pettiness and curiosity got the best of you.

The logical and responsible part of your brain knew you should just calm down, go to bed, and not go against his wishes. But with no sign of him coming home anytime soon, the part of your brain that was hurt and fed up wanted to go on a mini field trip.

“How to pick a lock,” you typed into safari to be met with thousands of results.

———

“Babe?!,” Jake called rushing into the apartment and quickly locking the door behind him. “My phone died so I couldn’t text back and I’m sor-whoa!,”

“Who are you really?,” you ask holding your phone in one hand and a meat fork in the other pointed in his direction. Hands up in front of him, he looks over your shoulder to see a light shining into the hall through the wide open door making his eyebrows furrow.

“You opened the door?!”

“Hey I’ll be the one asking the questions ok? First one being why are there guns and basically a whole surveillance van in there?!”

“I’ll answer anything you want, but can you put the fork down please? I know you’re a bit on edge and skeptical but it’s me, Jake. I’m not gonna hurt you.” As he takes a step forward, you take a step back gripping tighter on the handle of the fork and ready to tap the screen of your phone, which he figured already had 911 dialed.

“Alright,” he sighs slowly getting down on the ground with his hands behind his back. “If you go in my sock drawer there’s handcuffs towards the bottom. If it’ll make you feel better go get them and you can handcuff me so you know I won’t do anything. I promise I’ll stay right here the whole time.”

Hesitant at first, you slowly walk backwards to the bedroom making sure to keep your eyes on him before following his directions to look in the drawer.

“I’m guessing these weren’t an employee appreciation gift from CertaTech,” you retort tightening the metal around his wrists.

“Not exactly,” he lightly chuckles as you help him stand to his feet. Leading him to the kitchen table, he carefully sits in the creaky chair as you sit across from him placing your phone and fork down in front of you.

“Worked with handcuffs before, have we?”

Crossing your arms in front of your chest and looking at him unamused, his innocent smile falls as he stops laughing and clears his throat to collect himself. “You’re right, definitely not the time.”

“The room Jake. If that’s your real name.”

“It is. My name is actually Jake Jensen and the room is because I work with a special forces team that carries out missions given to us by the government.”

“So...like CIA, undercover agent type stuff?”

“Something like that.”

“And by team you mean Clay, Pooch, and everyone?”

“Yea.”

“So all this time you’ve been leaving for work, you’ve actually been going on missions?,” you ask gently rubbing your temples to which he nods.

“Either I’m on a mission, a briefing giving me my orders, or I’m at the warehouse doing intel.”

“And why did it take all this time to tell me? Like I get it with that line of work you have to be private but still Jake. I mean were you ever planning on telling me?”

“Yes of course I wanted to tell you, but I was waiting on the right time.”

“And when would’ve that been?! When I’m in the hospital giving birth and a nurse comes in with a letter from you saying ‘hey babe! Sorry I couldn’t make it I’m in Africa on a covert mission’?!”

“No, it would’ve been long before-wait, are you pregnant?”

“Jake!”

“What?! You’re the one who brought it up I’m just trying to make sure.”

“I brought it up as an example,” you sigh with hand on your forehead. “At this moment no I’m not, but now I know what all could potentially come with it if I do in the future. Like you not being there.”

“Y/N look at me,” he softly orders leaning forward as his chest hung over the table. “I promise I was going to tell you and would not have waited that long. It’s just I love you so much and I didn’t want to scare you off, especially by saying something when we first met.”

Getting up from your seat, you saunter over to sit in his lap gently holding his face in your hands.

“I get you not wanting to scare me away, but you know once I put my mind to something I’m in all the way. That includes relationships too,” you softly smile before connecting your lips with his. “I’m sorry for breaking into your private room.”

“It’s okay, and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner.”

“You’re forgiven,” you giggle leaning your forehead against his. “That is the only secret you’re hiding right?”

“Well...”

“Seriously?!”

“I’m kidding! That’s it I swear,” he chuckles pecking your lips.

“Ha ha so funny,” you sarcastically reply standing up.

“Now can you take these cuffs off? My arms are starting to fall asleep.”

“Right sorry. Where’s the key?”

“The key wasn’t with them?”

“No I thought you had it...?”

“Y/N if this is you getting me back-,”

“Babe I promise it’s not!,” you respond slightly panicked now trying to figure out how to get your boyfriend out of this predicament. “Here let me try to pick it.”

“You’re probably not gonna be able to-,” he starts before hearing a click and feeling a release of pressure from the restraints.

“Got it! They didn’t scratch you did they?”

“Uh no, no I’m ok,” Jake answers standing up as he lightly rubs his wrist looking at you in awe. “Call me crazy, but the fact that you can pick a lock now makes you even hotter.”

Looking down as you shyly giggle, he raises your chin as his lips come dangerously close to yours, with blue eyes intensely peering at you as if you were the only thing in the world he wanted.

“Speaking of being hot, you want to know what you do that always gets me excited?,” you sensually whisper biting your bottom lip.

“What’s that?”

“Getting me food,” you answer against his lips lightly patting his chest before walking towards your bedroom.

“It’s after 11 though, nothing’s open.”

“Well that wouldn’t be a problem if someone would’ve came home on time or told me they were gonna be late,” you smile before closing the door.

“It’s not my fault my phone died it kept roaming!,” he calls after you before picking up his keys and heading out the door while shaking his head.

Taglist: @crushed-pink-petals-writes @fumbling-fanfics @honeychicanawrites @honeychicana @lady-olive-oil @themyscxiras @melinda-january @lovelymari4 @literaturefeen @renfrewscorner @damnitaa @curlyhairclub @fullofmelaninsarcasmandepression @nunubug99 @felicity-x0 @ellixthea @jojolu @jnk-812 @brwn-sgr @captainsamwlsn @wildfirecracker @nina-sj @iammyownlover @chaneajoyyy @plokyu23 @secretmysteriousperson

If anybody wants to be tagged, has asked to be tagged but don’t see your name, only want to be tagged for certain people I write for, or no longer wish to be tagged just let me know🤓!

#chris evans #chrisxblackreader #chrisxwoc #chrisxreader #jakexwoc #jakexblackreader #jakexreader #jake jensen #the losers (2010) #the losers movie

[cabin-fever-bang]

Campfire Stories (Vol. 1)

Welcome to the Cabin! We proudly present the first edition of Campfire Stories: your one-stop shop for quality quarantine content. 

We’re going to do these regularly, with in-depth reviews of everything that’s been submitted as a prompt fill and additional recommendations from the masterlists of writers who get involved. 

If you’d like to be one of those writers, just follow us, comb through our prompts, and be sure to tag us when you post! It’s that easy. We welcome all fandoms and pairings. 

This batch of reviews was cooked up by @thoughtslikeaminefield​ (MJ), @there-must-be-a-lock​ (Lou), @itmighthavebeenintentional​ (Val), @fangirlxwritesx67​ (Viv), @cracksinthewalls​ (Bri), and @mskathywriteswords​ (Kathy), but we encourage you to pass along the random acts of writer-love and reblog with your own additions! 

Pull up a seat, toast a marshmallow or two, and settle in for some excellent reading material.

Choices We Make - @becs-bunker​ - GIF prompt submitted by  @dawnie1988​ 

Pairing: Demon Dean x Female Reader

Warnings: angst, brief threat & violence, smut, language, dub con-ish, unprotected sex, orgasm denial

Words: 1374

Everyone loves a Demon!Dean fic, and this is a good one! Lots of action, lots of angst, and some really hot, awful Dean.

Honestly it all felt like some surreal nightmare you couldn’t wake up from. You just wanted Dean back, your Dean.

These lines summarize both the Demon!Dean story arc and the narrator's frame of mind so well, pulling the reader right into the perspective of the story.

“I missed you, y’know?” Dean sighed, and the naive part of you wished he was telling the truth. That somehow, deep down, he still loved you.

This is heartbreaking because it's relatable, because the author does such a good job with the narrator's voice.

Dean licked his lips and there was a familiar hunger in his green eyes that made a whole different sensation rise in your body, and it wasn’t fear.

I'm not going to quote any more lines from the story because the author has written one hell of a twist, but trust me when I said, I gasped out loud reading it. The rest of this story is an absolute roller coaster, well worth the ride.

- Viv

Come For Me - @fangirlxwritesx67​ - image prompts created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy​

Pairing: Sam Winchester x female reader 

Warnings: smut, canon level violence, fingering, first time together

Words: 3100

First, let’s talk about this aesthetic. It’s soft and beautiful, but stark and needy. I love the quotes and photos, the way they flow together. Fantastic visual prompt. "Sam Winchester?” He spoke in a theatrical, mocking tone. “Ooooh, I’m frightened." This line made me chuckle. I love the idea of what’s ahead of us. The bad guy is built up in a hilarious way. Sam is presented through the heart and mind of the narrator, you. But thinking of Sam suffused you with a warm confidence. Not for one moment did you doubt him. This confidence is contagious and warming. Meanwhile, the anxiety over the vampire lurking somewhere else, waiting to taste you… it builds in a beautiful and believable way. There’s a rush of emotions as Sam rescues you, and he’s patient and kind, even while making jokes and being the Sam you know and love. Things progress, and there’s a beautiful and sweet (okay, and hot!) sex scene, with a first time between Sam and you. All in all, a really solid piece, with some story, some tension, some sex, and a whole lot of sweetness.

- Kathy

A New Day - @becs-bunker​ - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock​

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Warnings: fluff

I’ve not reviewed an image prompt before, so let’s just jump in. The first word that jumps to my mind is light, but I love how suffused and golden the whole image is. Softer, safer, intimate. There are little pinpoints of light, rays of light, shining light, and the whole thing makes me feel...well...light. Sunrise and candlelight, new day, new beginnings. 

The images chosen for Sam, the angles and features we get, are such close, personal angles and shots, giving us this tender atmosphere and setting the tone for this story: personal. Everything you're about to read is intimate, personal, and private, in such a lovely, delicate way. 

The curtains in that first shot are so filmy and ethereal, and the whole story feels like it’s set in a kind of golden-hazed forest. And, let’s face it, any sort of vacation for a Winchester is a kind of fairy tale. 

I’ve managed to stay pretty much above the brow, so Imma have to dip down for a minute and just drool over Sam’s trapezius muscles. Oh. MY. GAWD.

Golden, glorious, graceful, and just a touch of gooey. Good, good, good.

So, right off the bat, let me tell you that this story is everything I’ve ever wanted for Sam, like everything the show and Chuck and the universe has ever denied him. He’s rested, he’s comforted, he’s bathed in glow (the sun, the reader’s love, all that jazz, you know?).

And then it goes and hits all my camping weaknesses. I was literally just telling someone how I’m missing my camp more than ever now. It’s been eight years since I’ve been, and this story brings back all those feelings of serenity and calm, voluntary isolation with people you more or less chose, because camp was and is my forever real home.

I know that seems a little rambly and off-topic, but the thing is, that’s what this story is for me. They aren’t at the bunker, their “home,” but they’re still home all the same, because (and, yes, you can shoot me for this) home is where your heart is, so this wonderful little cabin in the woods is home, whether they’ve been there together once or a hundred times because Sam.

And then that bit of sugar tossed in at the end...Oh, this story was good for my soul. “Warm mug of coffee on a chill morning, under a blanket” kind of good for my soul. 

It’s one of those where I would love to have so much more of these two, of this warmth between them, but I also am perfectly content to know them just in this one perfect moment forever, before the day starts, when everything is still in the “it’s about to happen and it will be great” stages. The beginning of a great new day.

Thank you. I needed this story, now more than ever.

- Val

Crash  - @myinconnelly1​ - requested by @adoptdontshoppets​ for @idreamofplaid​ aesthetic

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: smut, fluff

Words: 810

The first thing that draws my eye in the aesthetic is the linked fingers. I love pinky links (I’m sure there’s a less cutesy way to say it, but I like it; sue me). They’re sweet, and really personal. You’ve got super tough Dean Winchester who isn’t embarrassed or afraid of intimate, goofy gestures. In fact, I feel like that would one hundred percent be Dean in a relationship: Dean is a giant ball of goofy, intimate gestures. 

I love the choices of relaxed, bearded Dean/Jensen paired with the casual, cool color palette immediately set me at ease. This isn’t going to be a terrifying, angsty ordeal. This is going to be calm, soothing, sensual. 

And the roses, the sand, the surf, the candlelight, the pokey palm tree fronds...I can hear, smell, feel every bit of these images. The golden-pink wine...ugh. This whole experience is a trip to paradise.

I love how all five senses are emphasized and made equally important. It gives us so much more connection to the moment, makes it that much more intimate. The constant crashing of the waves in the background; the bittersweet chocolate; the cozy, homey image of the baking-wrecked kitchen followed by the much more erotic, candelit bedroom; and then the scent of the oil mixed with the warmth and strength of Dean’s touch.

I also love the level of comfort in the story. We have the cookies, a hard-core comfort staple. We have the warm, lazy beach setting. And the easiness these two have together: that’s the dream, my friend. I love how they have no trouble at all communicating what they want and need, how they are comfortable enough to be messy and cute and flirty and sexy, one right after the other. 

And the description is so thorough, I have no trouble at all imagining myself there, in that wonderful, relaxing moment.

This story is relaxing, decadent, soothing, and fun all at once. I am a huge fan of the ending, as well. I was smiling through the whole story, but at the end, I literally laughed aloud. And now I think I’m going to have to excuse myself to go find some chocolate chip cookies. This story gave me a couple of cravings, and as Dean Winchester is in short supply in the real world, cookies are the one I can satisfy right now.

This story is, dare I say it, such a sweet escape. 

- Val

No Sugar Added - @myinconnelly1​ - requested by @fangirlxwritesx67​ - “I’d like to see Steve Rogers from MARVEL sharing Depression-era coping tips. Maybe he vlogs how to make apple-less apple pie.” 

No pairing

Warnings: Spoilers for Infinity Wars + Endgame, mention of mental health issues

Words: 446

This was my prompt for the Cabin, and I loved what this author did with the story! A little bit of fluffy cheer.

“Hello, I’m Steve Rogers.  As many of you know, I’m also Captain America, and I was alive during another time of hard living conditions.” 

Right now, a lot of things in the world seem scary and unsettling. It's one of those times when we turn for comfort to the lessons of the past, to the wisdom of generations, and to heroes. This author does a great job with Captain America, Steve Rogers. His cooking lesson is exactly the sort of inspiring, instructional video I would love to see.

“What is that smell?”  Natasha asked as she looked behind her to see Steve walking into the office with the plate.

Because it was never about pie, apple or otherwise. It was always about comfort. Our favorite foods help with that, and so does Captain America, especially written this well.

There are some fun tidbits in this story, including a peek of history and an actual recipe!

- Viv

Communion - @thoughtslikeaminefield​ - requested by @mskathywriteswords​​ “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty”

Pairing: Dean Winchester x unnamed female character

Warnings: marijuana use, high sex, het sex, fluffy smut

Words: 1002

How do I love this? Let me count the motherfucking ways. 

First of all, the way this sucks you into the characters’ headspace is beautiful and subtle and masterfully done. It’s in the sentence structure and the flow of the words; there’s no need to describe their inner state, because it’s written into the movement of the sentences and the choice of words. She doesn’t have to say that they’re high, because you can fucking feel it in phrases like “It’s sending me off somewhere…” or “I shiver at the thoughts careening through my mind.”

Second, this is molten hot, but (as with the best smut) it’s not just some rote story of “then he was hard and we banged and it was great.” The sexy bits are unique; this isn’t the same smut you’ve read a thousand times before. It’s got its own personality and tone and voice that very much belong to this particular story. 

Also? Filth with feelings! My favorite genre! It’s deeply emotional. I am all for smut that is both dirty and tender. This is like a masterclass on how to walk that line. 

It’s such a simple premise that becomes so much more; this has things to say about Dean, about his personality, about this relationship. This takes a very specific moment and uses it as a framework for something big and meaningful. This, for example: 

When Dean has to be big, he uses his whole self. His body takes up space and his mere presence -- he can make the darkest of demons shudder with his presence alone.

But Dean’s natural state is this -- nesting, nuzzling, curled up and warm.

Yuuuup.

Also: 

His hands -- the same hands I’ve seen thrust a blade into the guts of angels and demons -- are tender, fingertips light but persistent as they slip under my tank top and splay over my belly.

It’s so intimate. This is why we read fanfic, right? To feel like we’re close to these characters that we love so much, to delve into the sides of them that we don’t get to see much in canon… this fic feels like something personal and private that we’ve been lucky enough to be let in on. 

- Lou

Deeper Than Deep Conditioner - @fangirlxwritesx67​ - requested by @awesomesusiebstuff​ “The two Sam’s (our Sam and AU Sam) maintaining their hair care routines while quarantined.”

It’s one of those days when I’m feeling too fragile for this world. What’s the best remedy to knock some sunlight into my dark mood? Today, it’s fic -- and one that makes me giggle is a bonus.

This little gem is filled with funny one-liners and side-eye moments to make you laugh out loud:

Dean dreamed of driving away, of bikini beauties on the beaches of Rio. Sam dreamed of scarves and what it would be like to have no bigger worries in the world than his hair.

The look Dean gave him would’ve curdled milk, if there was any, which there wasn’t, because Dean took his coffee black, like a man.

A touch of realism in this bizarro situation got a chuckle, too:

“Sorry, sweethearts,” alt!Dean said, “Flights are all cancelled. A virus or something.”

When Viv named the alternates Deano and Sami, I gave in and embraced the madness. I was delighted with Deano; that’s my own nickname for Dean in my head. But Sami, a most pretentious twist on Sammy? A master stroke. I was tickled.

I was fully on board with enjoying this romp through the bizarro world, but then I was taken by surprise. This little moment, a hint that Sam has been trying to make the best of their circumstances, touched me: 

“Is this really how you live?” said Sami, with a dismissive glance at his paper napkin.

“Look,” Sam answered. “I’ve done my best. It’s taken a lot to get us this far.”

I was prepared for that to be the exception to the rule -- a moment of sincerity amongst a sea of lighthearted fun. And there was plenty of fun ahead of me. The jokes come at you hard and fast in this story! But I realized the mood was steadily changing, and suddenly, I was immersed in sincerity and maybe a little sadness:

...somewhere out there, was a universe where he pampered himself...

...maybe there was a place where he could enjoy something as simple as a deep condition...

...something Sam had wanted to watch but never had time for...

...for the first time in a long time, he caught himself laughing...

I thought maybe that was it. A few moments of Sam learning to appreciate what Sami (I was still laughing at that) had to offer, instead of simply mocking his manbun and scarf (I don’t think I could ever stop mocking that, but Sam’s a better person than I am).

But no. It didn’t end there, and I still wasn’t ready. Before I knew it, I was steeped in Sam’s melancholy, his yearning for a life kinder and gentler than what he’d been given. I was truly heartbroken for him in that moment.

I won’t spoil the rest, but by the time I got to the ending, I was grateful for the funny beginning that softened the landing. I expected a comedy, but what I got really was deeper than deep conditioner.

- Bri

Dear Mr. Fantasy - @itmighthavebeenintentional​ - image prompt submitted @thoughtslikeaminefield​

Warnings: SEASON 15 SPOILERS, bit of angst. 

Words: 2157

I found the image prompt in my Tumblr feed and immediately started plotting ideas that I cannot write bc I have too many fucking WIPs so imagine my excite when one of my all-time favorite fic writers (and one of my very best friends) filled the prompt as a surprise for me!

Val tells stories with a depth and humor like no one else I’ve ever read. Her natural wit and smarts shine through her fictional words as well, and I love seeing glimpses of her in her work.

In one universe, someone neglected Baby (couldn’t have been Dean, had to’ve been Sam) to the point where she pulls slightly to the left. Dean spends the morning after that dream with a muscle tick in his cheek and a suspicious, side-eyed glare for Sam that he never bothers to explain.

Dear Mr. Fantasy is bittersweet. It is soft and rich and full of color — all the senses are here. It’s a sledgehammer of realism wrapped in velvet. And it’s so very Dean.

At forty-eight years old (none of that years young bullshit, either; he’s old, and he’s goddamn earned it)

In the midst of reading canon Dean dreaming of and admiring and protecting his favorite of his AU-selves and that version’s life, we are treated to what it would be like if he was allowed a normal life. Our devoted, brave, warm, and loving hunter as a common mechanic would be just as brave and loyal, no?

“Pretty sure she’s settled on ya, so just make sure you’re worth it.” 

So that’s what Dean did. 

But our Dean — the Real Dean as Chuck says — can’t quite let his guard down even in his dreams of another world, even if that other world is safe as houses. He’s still aware of just how unreal this reality is.

Splashes of indigo and orange paint the horizon, framing her approach in a wash of colors blending into shadows that hold no danger.

Then, he lets himself mingle with that dream, if only for a few moments and it’s bliss.

Older Dean and worn-out, monster-plagued Dean sigh together, content down to their bones. This life is it for both of them. She is it. One Dean still can’t believe his amazing luck after all these years, and the other aches at the simple, total happiness he feels honored to witness.

I love you, she whispers, and he allows himself to believe for one moment that she’s talking directly to him.

I’m not going to spoil anything for you, but I will say that you need some tissues. I cried through 90% of this story, from joy and from heartache. 

Because that’s what Valerie does, breaks your heart and makes you smile, and it is so fucking good.

- MJ

Synesthesia - @there-must-be-a-lock - request by @wendibird​ “SPN, Sastiel, due to all the Angelic Grace Sam has been exposed to over time, he starts resonating with Castiel’s. Especially if Cas’ emotions are running high.”

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Castiel

Warnings: none!

Words: 750

First, I love the song that enhanced this idea for Lou. It lends a tenderness and whimsy to the plot that isn’t inherent. 

Second, Lou’s words are like poetry and watercolor doing a dance of their own making — GORGEOUS phrasing and rhythm.

Cas whirls around, and Sam is hypnotized by the bright blue in his eyes, wide and concerned in a way that makes Sam feel like he’s being lit up from the inside. There’s a floodlight in his chest. 

And, y’all, I don’t even go here, but I swooned SO HARD.

It’s an effort to focus, but when he meets Cas’s eyes, Cas smiles. Sam sees a shower of sparks like the last fizzle of a firework.  

Sam hears it as a flutter of spring green like a new leaf. 

And Lou’s characterization is always spot on, right? But like Dean isn’t even in the scene, yet here we are.

Don’t let the words fool you; there’s a very angry rainbow happening in his head most of the time.

And did I mention the ARTWORK that is this woman’s WORDS?

There are stars under their feet, entire galaxies spinning out around them, dancing spirals of kaleidoscopic green and gold melting into whorls of brilliant blue.

Anyway, please go read. You’ll be flying high for hours afterward. xox

- MJ

Salvation - @dontshootmespence​ - image created and submitted by @idabbleincrazy​

Pairings: Sam Winchester x reader

Warnings: angst, torture, gore, smut 

Words: 1,401

The aesthetics by this artist inspire stories just because they are so well done. This one was a good balance of handsome Sam and some nice suggestive pics along with the phrases that helped shape the action of the story.

This story feels like an episode of the show from earlier seasons, just the right balance of angst and monster fighting with tantalizing peeks of smut and feels. Excellent job!

There are no words that come close to explaining what she means to him. How she saves what soul he has left.

These flashback scenes are both hot and tender. The voice the author  gives to Sam is spot on, achingly familiar.

"You're Sam Winchester, the boy with the demon blood."

It's easy to forget, sometimes, all the things that Sam has been and done, how fearsome of a hunter he is. This story reminds us with razor sharp precision.

When he meets her gaze, he finds the peace he's craved for so long.

The contrast between the flashbacks and the action is painfully good.

What’s more frightening, a man like Dean, practiced in his violence out of necessity? Or a man like him, on the verge of losing everything and nothing left to lose?

This is a well drawn distinction between the Winchester brothers, and such a good characterization of Sam!

"You're safe with me, Sam. You never have to hide from me." 

Such a beautiful relationship between Sam and this woman! It's no wonder he's fighting so hard to save her.

This story has an imaginative plot, fast paced action, some sweet hotness, and such a good Sam!

- Viv

The Second Hand Unwinds - @mskathywriteswords​ - image prompt created and submitted by @there-must-be-a-lock​ 

Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader

Warnings: hurt, comfort, angst

I had a vibe in mind when I created this aesthetic but this went so far beyond anything I could’ve imagined. It absolutely nailed that nostalgic, wistful, antique-photo-album feel, and then it managed to knife me in the fucking gut in a few ways, none of which I saw coming. 

The JOY in the first part of this is absolutely tangible. It’s so romantic and sweet in a very dreamy way that feels exactly like first love. I love the scattered, disjointed imagery around the flowers in the first part, like flashes of memories coming at you all at once, and then when it settles into the narrative it manages to hold onto that dreamy feeling while still moving neatly through the plot. 

This moment was about us, and I wanted to live in it forever. You never gave me reason to cover my body, not that night or ever.

Goddamn right. Ugh, precious and beautiful. And then this:

After so much undiluted time together, I had no idea how to sleep alone. I felt raw waking up by myself, not being able to feel your stubble tickling my skin. 

There’s something about that last line that just grabbed my heart and tugged it in a wonderful way. It’s ACCURATE, first of all; this is one of those super-specific feelings that is hard to describe concisely. I haven’t really thought about that feeling in a while, but that little sentence just cut through so many years and brought me right back in a deep and visceral way. 

You took pride in doing all the things that were never done for you, you’d told me.

Ouch. It’s little touches like this that make this ring true to character even though it’s a very different Dean than we see in canon.

And then that ENDING. 

How do you contain a bomb once it’s been set on fire with grief?

Fuck, dude. Everything about that ending was so painful. I love that she left it raw and messy and not like a simple “welcome back!” kinda moment. 

This was just gorgeously done. Can not recommend it enough. 

Fort - @there-must-be-a-lock​ - prompt by @mskathywriteswords​​ “Fluffy dean or Jensen smoking weed plz, ty.” 

Pairing: J2 x reader

Warnings: blowjobs and weed. 

Words: ~2150

This piece of deliciousness opens with Jensen walking out of the bathroom with a towel on his hips; do I need to say more? I don’t, but I will. After some beautiful description of the blanket fort, we get treated to Jared in nothing but pajama pants. The descriptions in this piece are vivid and full. the way Jared’s hand looks between Jensen’s muscled shoulderblades, thumb stroking back and forth between patches of gold and red light, makes me want to capture the moment and hold onto it. I can see that image in my mind, picture the two of them together, and that’s what makes excellent writing for me. The warnings attached to this piece are fully applicable; the story is very cute and sweet, there’s weed, and there’s Jared and a wicked oral fixation, which in the case of this one-shot means dear Reader, that’s you, get to witness a searing blowjob from one J to another. The way these three interact makes my heart swell, and there’s something about watching the dynamic change between them that really hammers home just how functional they are together. Dive in to this universe, Everything. There are no regrets to be had, maybe only that you waited so long to get wet.

- Kathy

The Gazelle - @thoughtslikeaminefield​ - requested by Anonymous “I’d really love some more Dean x Benny fanfiction, AU, aligned with canon timeline, whatever. I think they deserved a chance and Benny got killed off before it could even be explored :(”

Pairing: AU Dean Winchester x AU Benny Lafitte x unnamed female character

Warnings: power exchange, mmf threesome implied, Denny apparent, nudity

Words: 1000

Let me start with a caveat: I’m in the bag for pretty much any Dean x Benny fic, pretty much any Dean x Benny x person #3 fic, and absolutely any MJ fic. So you could stop reading this review right now and just go read the fic, if you want; in fact, I sort of recommend it, because it’s better than anything I could have to say about it. But if you want to stick around, I promise to be a little more coherent than ZOMGGGG PERFECT HOT SEXY TIMES DENNY LOVE GORGEOUS MORE PLZ!  

Before we even get to the words, we’ve got a gorgeous graphic. Black and white beautiful boys, staring you down with those “I’m gonna fuck you so good” eyes, paired with a sweetly sexy woman tinted with a soft pink; she looks carefree, open to have some fun, and you can imagine her telling them to bring it on. MJ’s graphics are always great, setting the perfect mood for her fics, and this is no exception.

And right from the jump:

Dean and me — we share a lot of things.

We share good music and good drink. Tonight, we’re sharing a good woman.

Oh, this is in Benny’s voice?! Okay okay okay, cool cool cool, I can handle this…

...Dean purrs like a jungle cat as he hovers behind her, hands in her hair, twisting and twirling the silky tresses…

...Dean sets the pace and is the anchor, always. He keeps everything stable and grounded…

And now I’ve realized that I’m going to be seeing Dean through Benny’s eyes -- and no, not cool, can’t handle this -- but I’m definitely not stopping.

I like to mix things up, though, and he lets me.

MJ is a brilliant writer with many talents, but I think her specialty, regardless of what characters she’s writing with, is brilliantly salacious smut that’s steeped in emotion. She can’t help it. Her fucks come with feels, every single time, and I hope it never changes. 

This piece is certainly no exception. Dean and Benny are circling their prey, this unnamed woman, utilizing their individual strengths -- Dean’s encouraging, I’m demanding -- and the sexual tension is building with soft touches and lingering kisses. As the scene is progressing, Benny’s inner monologue is sprinkled with thoughts about Dean:

Times we don’t have a subject, Dean’s focus is on me. I don’t argue and I do not complain. Dean knows what to do with every inch of that long, lean body of his. He knows how to cage a person in, make them feel safe, wanted, fucking needed.

She’s handily building emotion and a personal backstory without an exposition dump, without taking focus away from the action for too long:

His hands move slowly, seemingly random, but I know how focused he is on her and the moment. Giving and seeking pleasure are vital things to Dean and he takes the acts to heart.

I’m immersed in the now of this scene but I also understand the depth of their feelings for one another, their history and dedication to each other, and how they work together to bring another partner into their orbit. MJ makes it look easy, when it’s anything but. 

And then she gifts us with this perfection and I’ve melted into a puddle of emotionally aroused goo:

“You promise to love, honor, and cherish ‘til the morning light, Dean?”

That is a vow of devotion to a one-night stand. What?! How?! Does her brain come up with this?

From there, the scene continues, the action escalating, supported by a framework of realism and heart. Her Dean feels familiar and in character, even though we’ve never seen him in this particular situation. And Benny, we hardly knew ye, but she brings him to life alongside Dean and I buy their relationship completely. I buy all of this, and now I’m invested.

And then… 

“Do it, then,” she says, challenging. “Wreck me.”

My breath catches, my heart starts to race -- yes, here we go! -- a few more sentences, one last connection between Dean and Benny, and then --

Oh, you are evil, MJ. You are so perfectly evil and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

- Bri

#random acts of love #cabin-fever-bang #cabin fever bang #fanfiction #fic rec #rec list #bear hugs #welcome to the cabin #campfire stories #writers supporting writers

[fangirlxwritesx67]

Road Trip

Road Trip, 2k words

Jared x Jensen x OFC Elle Tags: Pg-13, road trip, lots of food and some drinking, a concert, spoiling the dog. AN: for @there-must-be-a-lock​ I don’t know that I’ve ever spent as much time with an author, in any fanfic universe, as I have with Lou in the Everything-verse. I can’t even begin to approach her sex scenes, so I didn’t even try. But I’ve done my best to write J2 with Elle the way she writes them. Haven’t read Everything yet? Head over to Amazon and get your copy of the e-book now! 

***

Elle was taken aback when she came home from the store to find her boyfriends in the living room, surrounded by their entire luggage collection. She knew their work schedule well, and didn’t think they had to travel this weekend. She stopped, a puzzled look creeping across her face. 

“Boys, are you going somewhere?” 

Jensen beckoned her over. He caressed her face, lifting her chin for a kiss. “We are going somewhere, all three of us.”

Jared bounded over and wrapped both of them in a hug. “It’s a surprise!”

Elle looked at him, expectantly. Jared was the worst in the world at keeping secrets, and she usually didn’t have to wait a full minute for him to blurt out the entire plan. 

“Jay, I swear to god-” Jensen said, a note of warning in his voice. Jared responded by miming that he was locking his lips and throwing away the key. 

“But how can I pack if I don’t know where I’m going?” Elle stepped over to claim one of the medium suitcases. 

“C’mon, you know you always wear band tees and skinny jeans, no matter what.” Jensen’s words were teasing but his tone was soft.

Elle fake-pouted. “Hey, I wear shorts too!”

“Sometimes you wear little dresses, look so cute,” Jared chimed in. “Ooh, and a swimsuit, you’ll need one of those!” 

She waited, but apparently Jensen had Jared under some kind of secrecy spell, because he stopped there. When it became clear that no more details were forthcoming, she headed to her room to pack.

***

The next morning, they rose before the sun. In spite of the early hour, Jared was bubbling over with excitement, while Jensen was checking off everything that needed to be done and packed. Elle approached their black SUV with a big yawn, hugging a pillow and her favorite blanket.

“Back seat is for you girls,” Jensen pointed. Elle climbed in, and stretched out as Daisy hopped up and settled down at her feet. The smooth motion of the car on the road soon lulled her back to sleep.

Too soon, the bright morning shining in her eyes woke her up. Making a disgruntled sound,  she sat up and looked at herself in the rearview mirror- her eyes were smudgy, her pink hair standing straight on end. She shrugged, and leaned forward between the front seats to rest her head on Jared’s shoulder.

“Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Jensen greeted her, and she lazily turned her head to meet his voice. “You hungry?” 

“Always,” she answered, as Jared combed his fingers through her hair, making it more of a mess, not less. They drove through a Starbucks to load up on coffee and breakfast sandwiches before stopping at the next rest stop area. Elle and the boys ate while Daisy ran around in the grass. Jensen pretended not to see his partners slipping the dog bites of food. 

*** They drove steadily East, stopping every few hours for gas and snacks and to let the dog out. Some hours were quiet, everyone reading or absorbed in their own thoughts. Other hours were musical, each of them taking a turn controlling the AUX cord, but all of them singing along. And some hours were chatty, the three of them discussing anything that came to mind, from books to current events to the perfect grill dinner. They were comfortable with one another, with both conversation and silence, that was the important thing.

Elle didn’t care so much about where they were going, as long as they were together. But after lunch, she could no longer ignore the view outside her window. They were in the Blue Ridge Mountains, roads snaking over hills and around curves. At every turn, she saw peaks swathed in gauzy clouds, and valleys through a blue mist. She had driven this road a hundred times in her life. The view never failed to fill her with awe.  

She watched the road signs, counting the miles, waiting for Jared or Jensen to say something. Finally she spoke up. 

“Boys, are we going to Gatlinburg?” 

“Yes!” Jared whipped around to face her. “We booked a cabin! It’s gonna be great!” 

Jensen nodded and met her eyes in the mirror, his smile growing to match hers. 

Gatlinburg. They were headed home. It wasn’t where she had grown up, exactly, but close by. It had been the destination of almost every vacation she had taken for the first 20 years of her life. 

As they drove into town, she felt her excitement growing. It was funny how things could come back to you, even after years away. There was her favorite little coffee shop, the one with all the plants. There was the record store where she spent all of her money on every trip.

The farmers selling produce by the side of the road, that was another familiar sight. Jensen stopped at one and loaded up on fresh fruit and veggies. Jared bought an armload of fresh homemade pastries. 

She felt her sense of intrigue grow as they turned off the main road, away from the hotels and resorts, and headed back into the mountains. A little while later, Jensen finally brought the SUV to a stop in front of an expansive cabin in the woods. He stepped out from the car and stretched before opening Elle’s door. Daisy rushed out, tail wagging. 

Elle stepped out and looked around, drawing in a deep breath. The sunlight air filtered down through the trees. She could smell pine and water nearby. Something in her soul unwound a little and seemed to settle in. She looked up as she felt Jensen’s gaze on her. 

“Hey,” he asked softly, “You like this?” She nodded, too overwhelmed to put her feelings into words. Just then, Jared bounded around the car.

“You won’t believe this place that Jay booked, look!” He took her hand in his and almost dragged her inside. He gave her an enthusiastic tour: the kitchen, the living room with a fireplace, the bedrooms, the hot tub on the porch. 

Jensen followed as they skipped from room to room, his eyes never leaving her. Clearly, the two of them had spent time together, browsing the options before they rented this house. Both men were eager to see her reaction, to make sure she was happy. 

When all three of them stopped on the porch, Elle looked down, through the verdant trees, to a small stream. This was even better than she could’ve dreamed. Her boyfriends stood on either side of her, and without speaking, each slipped one arm around her. She relaxed and leaned into their embrace. She felt safe, loved, at home. 

Daisy nudged at them, whining for attention. Elle broke away from the boys to pet her, and caught sight of a grill.

“Jensen, my guess is you’ve already planned to grill something for dinner?” Of course he had. Jared carried a cooler up from the car, and pulled out steaks that had been marinating since the night before. Jensen had prepped some of the produce he had purchased on the way in, a grill basket full of peppers, onions and mushrooms, with a side of asparagus.

While they cooked, she took a quick shower. The master bathroom was expansive, with a big glassed in shower and a deep garden tub. She smiled, anticipating the things the three of them could do in there. She slipped into one of the short dresses she had packed. It was comfortable, light and soft. She was glad Jared had suggested it. 

That night, the three of them ate until they couldn’t eat any more. Even Jensen slipped a bite or two of steak to the dog. The sun set and the stars came out and they still lingered on the porch, talking and laughing. Long after midnight, Jensen steered Elle to the bedroom they had picked out for her. Jared made sure she had her meds and a bottle of water. She relaxed into the expanse of clean white sheets and pillows, and fell asleep. 

*** Elle slept in late the next morning, later than she was ever able to sleep in their apartment. She woke up slowly, but was lured to the kitchen by the smell of coffee. Jensen was making scrambled eggs loaded with veggies and cheese, while Jared was digging into the pastries he bought the day before. 

She enjoyed good morning kisses from both her boyfriends before she settled down with a plate of food and a mug of coffee. Propped up on the table in front of her was an envelope with her name.

“Boys?” She asked, as she reached for it. Both of them turned to look at her. Jensen was smiling broadly, that look on his face when he knew he had done well, while Jared was practically vibrating from excitement. 

She opened the envelope and 3 concert tickets fell into her hand. Her favorite band in the whole world, right here in Gatlinburg, floor seats, tonight. She couldn’t form words, just screeched in excitement as she launched herself at Jared and Jensen. The three of them shared a warm embrace as she babbled her thanks. Wakened by the commotion, Daisy came over and nudged at their legs. 

Elle sat back down, overwhelmed. She had seen this stop on the concert tour, of course, but it seemed too far away. That had been months ago, and she had honestly forgotten the date. The fact that Jared and Jensen had planned not only a get away weekend for her, but a concert, said volumes. 

That night, the boys dressed as usual in jeans and button-downs. Of course Elle had packed one of her many t-shirts for this particular band. They were her favorites, after all. She took extra care with her look, lining her eyes and touseling her hair. Finally, they headed out.

The warm up bands were good, thoroughly enjoyable, but Elle was saving her excitement for the main act. The moment they came on stage, the first thrum of the bass, she was gone. She screamed and sang along and danced, savoring every moment. 

The concert ended at midnight, but Elle wasn’t even remotely tired as they drove back up the mountain. She spent the entire drive babbling about every moment, every song. She was still waxing enthusiastic in the kitchen when Jensen silenced her with a kiss. 

“You packed a swimsuit, right? Go change.”

She did, and stepped out onto the porch. Jared was already in the tub, knees wide and head back. She slipped in next to him and rested her head on his shoulder. Jensen followed, carrying 3 beers, which he handed out as he sank into the water. 

Elle turned to face Jensen, kissing him deeply. Jared drew closer to the two of them, his hands all over their bodies. For what felt like a long time, the three of them traded kisses, caresses slow and lingering in the hot water. 

Finally, Jensen stepped out of the hot tub, lifting Elle up with him. She clung to him as he carried her back inside. Jared stepped ahead of them and was already on the bed, arms open, when Jensen lowered her down on the white sheets. 

***

Elle woke up late the next morning. Her head was resting on Jensen’s shoulder, his chest rising and falling under her fingers. Jared was spooned around behind her, his arm holding her close. 

She took a deep breath. The concert last night was amazing. This cabin was fantastic. It was so much fun to be back in a familiar city. They had two more days in front of them, and she was looking forward to every minute of it.

But honestly, the best part of the trip was just being together. Jensen, Jared and her - it wasn’t anything she had ever imagined. No, it was better than she had ever imagined. However unlikely, she was theirs and they were hers.

*** Like what you’ve read? Read my first chapter with this trio, Enough

Thanks to @lastactiontricia​ for jumping in and giving this a preread.

SPN First Last and Always: @boondoctorwho​ @dawnie1988​ @deanwanddamons​ @defenderrosetyler​ @divadinag​ @emoryhemsworth​ @flamencodiva​ @fookinghelljensensthighs​ @idreamofplaid​ @kalesrebellion​ @kickingitwithkirk​ @maddiepants​ @magssteenkamp​ @onethirstyunicorn​   @the-chocolate-moose  @there-must-be-a-lock​ @tloveswriting​

Sam Girl For Life: @awesomesusiebstuff​ @lilsylvia​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​

Dean Curious: @adoptdontshoppets​ @awesomesusiebstuff​ @deangirl7695​ @deans-baby-momma​  @mrsjenniferwinchester​ @stoneyggirl​ @supersassyprobablysad @wayward-gypsy​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​

Gay Screaming: @boondoctorwho​, @cracksinthewalls​, @fookinghelljensensthighs​ @itmighthavebeenintentional​, @justcallmeasmodeus​, @katehuntington​, @maddiepants​, @mskathywriteswords​, @rockhoochie​, @there-must-be-a-lock​, @thoughtslikeaminefield

#j2 #jensen x jared x ofc #j2 x ofc #for lou

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON IS JUST THE WHOLE MOOD FOR 2020, CAN WE ALL AGREE ON THAT?

Oh boy, guys, it’s here. The end. The very end. Tonight, Supernatural says goodbye for real this time. Maybe. Who really ever knows. But I’m not great at goodbyes, so instead let’s go back to the very beginning. It’s Supernatural!

So I’m here, at the season finale of Season 1. Very conveniently on the same day that the show is on the series finale of Season 15. It’s like I planned it, you guys! I did not plan this. 

Also, let’s take a minute to appreciate the irony of using Carry On My Wayward Son in every season finale when the Winchesters will never be done, they’ll never have peace, they will never lay their weary heads to rest. Don’t mind me, I’m just laughing til I cry. 

I genuinely think of the the last two episodes of Season 1 - “Salvation” and “Devil’s Trap” - as if they’re one episode. This is because a) I think they are designed to be a two-parter and b) they’re the only two episodes on the last disc of my box set BUT I think it’s important to note that these two episodes did not air on the same night. There was a week between them and that is...rough for an audience watching in real time. But when I watched it the first time, I was watching this exact dvd disc and of course I plowed right on through the cliffhanger in “Salvation” until the literal car crash that ends “Devil’s Trap”.

This disc! Right here! That has the real soundtrack on it, UNLIKE SOME STREAMING SERVICES!

Let’s look at a couple things: 

Way back in 2006 when these episodes aired, Supernatural’s success was average at best? Even though it’s the 5th most watched show on the WB, it’s averaged a little more than 3 million American viewers per episode, which at the time, wasn’t great. In contrast, the #1 show of the 2005/2006 TV year was American Idol season 1 - an average of 12.7 million viewers per episode. So it’s not exactly a winner of a show, but it’s not too far behind the WB’s #1 show, Smallville, which averaged around 4 million viewers per episode. Still, Supernatural’s fate was uncertain. “Devil’s Trap” aired on May 4, 2006, but the show didn’t get renewed for season 2 until May 18. That’s two weeks of cliffhanger limbo, and lemme tell you, that would have been a real slap in the tits if the show had been cancelled. 

Even further back, though, in January of 2006, it was announced that the WB and UPN would be renouncing their independence and merging under CBS and Time Warner company into what we know today as The CW. It was a network that was frankensteined together from the only working pieces of both networks and honestly I think that was a big reason Supernatural did get renewed. The CW was in need of some kind of programming to kick off the 2006 Fall Season and they greenlit new seasons for 13 of WB’s and UPN’s established programs. For a real blast from the past, here is their list of inaugural shows - 

7th Heaven (WB)

Beauty and the Geek (WB) 

Gilmore Girls (WB) 

One Tree Hill (WB)

Reba (WB)

Smallville (WB)

Supernatural (WB)

America's Next Top Model (UPN)

Veronica Mars (UPN)

Everybody Hates Chris (UPN

Girlfriends (UPN)

All of Us (UPN)

WWE SmackDown! (UPN)

I think my favorite part of this list is that both Gilmore Girls AND Smallville were still on the air, arguably the origin stories for Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles respectively. 

However, there’s evidence that Supernatural was in less danger of cancellation than you might think. In March, around about “Hellhouse” time, Supernatural gets moved from a Tuesday air date to a Thursday air date. If you follow American network TV at all, then you’ll know that Thursday is THE day. Historically, Networks believed this was the best day for programming. Advertisers paid extra for the combination of influencing your weekend plans and also influencing you before the weekend since you’re less likely to be watching TV and more likely to be spending money. Friends aired on Thursdays. Grey’s Anatomy is a Thursday show. Putting Supernatural on Thursday would indicate that the WB had some faith in it, although it’s possible they were simply removing something else that wasn’t working in that 9pm time slot. 

Ratings aside, once we get to the finale Supernatural has a good thing going, and it seems critics agreed. I think the back half of season 1 is where the show really starts to shine and take on the semblance of what it will become. This is where you see it shift from Monster-of-the-Week, anthology-style, to episodes that focused more on character - what I like to call the Feelings Episodes. That’s not to say there won’t be a ton more Monster-of-the-Week episodes, just that those are the B-story line, less important than the Winchesters-Working-Through-Trauma A-story lines. There’s also a greater emphasis on the overarching mythos and story arc of the season in the back half. This is ultimately what carries Supernatural into season 2 and beyond. Everyone from critics to series creator Kripke agreed that the episodes that focused more on the relationships and the internal struggles of the Winchesters was what really captured audiences. 

And all that gooey feelings stuff really comes to a head in the one-two punch that is “Salvation” and “Devil’s Trap”. 

UGH. FEELINGS.

The day of reckoning is finally here - the Winchesters finally know who they’re after, where to go, and how to kill it. Thanks to Sam’s Oh yeah! He’s got ESP!, they know exactly who’s gonna get hit next. The search is finally over, the battle’s about to begin. But it’s not just the Quest that’s winding down, it’s a bunch of character arcs that are coming to light as well. In fact, the Quest really does get pushed aside in favor of big character moves.

John Winchester, hyperfixated on revenge for the past 20 years, is finally close to resolving his grief and guilt over Mary’s death and the way he raised his kids. He tells his sons “whatever it takes” and we know he means it. This plays out in his decision to split up the team, in his willingness to sacrifice his own life so his boys have the opportunity to kill the demon they’ve been hunting all season. 

Who’s fault was THAT, you piece of shit.

Sam Winchester’s own feelings of guilt and grief are also on the cusp of absolution. We see just how similar Sam and John really are, specifically in their reactions to fridged girlfriends lost loves. For the first time this season, Sam follows John’s orders without question or complaint. He doesn’t hesitate to risk his own life to kill the demon, willing to literally walk into fire for a second shot at it. Sam’s here to do whatever it takes, and it’s only because of Dean that he doesn’t. 

Dean, on the other hand, is finally struggling with following John’s orders. I love the scene where John yells specifically at Dean when he finds out about Sam’s visions (watch John’s eyeline, he is NOT looking at Sam on that line) 

Exhibit A, because this show has turned me into a 19YO Stan again and I hate it.

and Dean yells back, pointing out that they were in much more dire straights than death omens and John never picked up the phone, not once, not even when Dean was dying. 

It’s TRUE and he SHOULD SAY IT! And seriously, John, even MEG knows you don’t answer voicemails, that’s why she calls Sam.

More importantly, Dean is not willing to do whatever it takes if whatever it takes means losing what he already has. Dean, who was so gung ho about finding mom’s killer in the beginning of the season, understands better than ever what he stands to lose if he lets his family continue on this path. It’s a real reversal of his attitude from the beginning of the show, but the about-face has happened so gradually over the last 22 episodes that it doesn’t feel out of left field. 

Because that’s what you get when you put Sam and Dean together on a cross-country road trip for nine months! The two grow and change just by proximity and the sheer number of hours they spend in the car together. Over the course of 22 episodes, Dean reminds Sam why they do what they do - saving lives - and Sam reminds Dean what and who they do it for - family, safe and sound and living their best life now. John’s got his own thing going on, so who even cares what his motivations are, I don’t, hurry up and get out of here, John, nobody likes you. 

That being said, “Devil’s Trap” starts with a pretty ruthless Dean performing an exorcism on Meg. He’s not dicking around this episode, and based on the fight he has with Sam in “Salvation”, it makes sense. Dean won’t do whatever it takes just for vengeance, but he will do whatever it takes to save someone, especially if those lives are his brother and his father. You could even extend that motivation into his decision to exorcise the demon and essentially kill Meg Masters - she may be dying, but she’s been saved from being a human meat puppet and unwilling participant to any number of evil things. 

In other news, Bobby Singer is a National Treasure and the Best Part of this Episode and Maybe All Episodes. He doesn’t have a lot going on in this episode, he’s just amazing and I love him forever. 

I had to pull a still from the episode because lookit this glorious mullet that he loses immediately, thank GOODNESS!

After getting a reality check from Dean in “Salvation,” Sam’s still struggling to figure out where he is on this spectrum, and you get to watch him make that decision in real time. He has the choice to be like John, to do whatever it takes to kill the demon, even though that means killing his own father. And he does not hesitate to aim when John tells him to shoot to kill, and that says a LOT. 

But it’s Dean who convinces Sam not to lose himself in this fight, even when he’s so close to winning it. It’s Dean’s tiny little “Sam, no!” that makes Sam put the gun down, and that ALSO says a LOT. 

It also hits me right in my heart meats, just OOF. 

And THEN, just when you think the Winchesters are at their lowest, beat to shit and barely holding on, THEN the show delivers its final blow: they crash a semi into the Impala. 

Listen, I watch a lot of garbage, and I watch that garbage on purpose. Sometimes, that’s just what you want. I don’t rate movies and tv shows on a good to bad scale anymore because some bad movies are GREAT and some good movies are just really terrible and I don’t like watching them. I’ve started talking about movies and tv in terms of whether or not I enjoyed them. Does it spark joy? Will it spark joy in others? 

My legitimate reaction to anything that looks like a dumpster fire.

I enjoy Supernatural. A LOT. And maybe it’s just because my calibration settings are off, but I’d also argue that this season is good. As in, it’s well-crafted, satisfying and (mostly) logical storytelling. Is it perfect? No. It’s a show that aired on the WB in 2005. And when I watched this for the first time in 2008, I didn’t dig too deep into character arcs or story structure, I just liked watching two hot guys fight ghosts and sometimes cry a little. Twelve years later, watching it with a more experienced eye and a more refined palette - er, well, maybe just more educated palette -  I can see the skill that went into crafting this 22-episode long story. 

Well, skill and and a little bit of sheer dumb luck. Cuz remember when I said that Kripke and Co. figured out that the Feelings Episodes ended up doing better than the Monster-of-the-Week episodes? That wasn’t until after they realized what a gift they’d been given in their two leads. It was the chemistry between Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki that both sold the show at the outset and built the foundation for seasons to come. Viewers cared about the show because they cared about the characters. They wanted to see these two beautiful dumpster fires struggle and overcome their internal battles way more than their external ones. If you need proof - I did not once talk about the Yellow-Eyed-Demon motives or plans from this episode. I barely even mention the quest, unless it’s in relation to how the characters are handling it, emotionally, and how that’s impacting others around them. When you come down to it, Supernatural is a show about a family struggling to survive just as much as it is about two guys saving the world, and that’s something that any audience can relate to. I’m never gonna perform an exorcism or face down angels and demons to stop the apocalypse. But I am gonna struggle with insecurity and doubt, grief and anger and family drama. That’s the human element. That’s what connects you to these characters. And when you’re lucky enough to have two lead actors that really sell the hell out of the family dynamics, you're setting up for some serious television gold. 

Fifteen years after this season aired, both of these elements - the story-crafting AND the luck - are more important than ever. No matter what show you’re watching, when you get to a season finale, that finale needs to feel like a set of dominos tipping over. It needs to feel like you’ve set up for that final confrontation both externally (the quest arc) and internally (the character arc). It needs to feel satisfying and motivated when those dominos finally fall. Most importantly, you need to make sure your audience cares about why they’re falling in the first place. Who cares about anybody’s arc if you haven’t built that character connection with your audience in the first place? 

For a TV show looking ahead to season two, all that resolution also needs to ask more questions. It needs to propel us through one conflict and into another. That’s what the finale of this season does. It threads the needle into that sweet spot between conclusion and new beginning. Will our heroes live or die? Will the yellow-eyed demon be defeated? What’s next? And on this side of 2020, how did they keep that momentum going for more than a decade? 

I can’t think of any current show right now that I would follow for 15 years. Hell, I didn’t even follow this show for 15 years. But the longevity of Supernatural means that they’ll be the template for any show looking to last even half as long as they did. And no matter how you feel about this show, you’ve gotta admit that’s heckin’ WILD. 

#Supernatural #Supernatural Season 1 #Supernatural Season 1 Finale #Devil's Trap #Salvation #John Winchester #Dean Winchester #Sam Winchester #Bobby Singer #wb #CW #Television #Television History #15 seasons! #How did this get 15 seasons?!? #Carry On My Wayward Son #That song is not on the Netflix version #and whatever crap song they do play is AWFUL #Storytelling #Character Arcs #Monster of the Week

[leelee10898]

Mittens

Here is my submission for the choices 12 days of fictmas!! Hosted by ME lol. I initially had something else prepared, however this kind of popped in my head and wouldn't go away. I picked the song Mittens by Carly Rae Jensen. This isn't a popular song at all, most people probably have never heard of it... but I love it.

Im going to apologize now, read more is not working for mobile for me.. and my laptop is mia.. i have tagged the post long post.

Ellie sloshed through the wet snow covered sidewalk, the air crisp and bitter. She pulled her scarf tighter around her face,  trying to keep the sting of the wind at bay. It was only a two block walk home from the diner she worked at night, but the frigid temperatures were a bitch. She stuffed her hands back in her coat, trying to keep her hands from freezing solid. 

She rounded the corner, her building in sight. Finally  she let out a sigh of relief. It was Christmas eve, and the diner had been busy all day. As she climbed the stairs to her 3rd floor loft she could hear the sounds of Christmas music blaring from the down stairs neighbors, followed by the loud laughter that filled the halls. It would be a long night, that she was sure of. 

Ellie loved Christmas time, usually. It was her mother's favorite holiday,  her most cherished memories Were those of her parents Decorating the tree, Laughing and singing Christmas Carols, while drinking hot chocolate and spending time together….  just the three of them. This year however was different for her all together, she was alone, completely and totally alone. 

It had been five months since she last seen Colt. Five months since she had been home, And 3 months since the falling out with her dad. Riya and Darius were still together,  and at the same school about 2 hours away from Langston. She loved when they would visit, but she would be lying if their constant PDA made her heart twinge. She missed Colt so much. The last thing he told her was he knew she would be great, If he could only see her now. 

She turned the key, pushing her shoulder into it with a gentle nudge to open, flicked the lights on  and tossed the keys on to the table next to the door. She had been in her dorm for two months before something had to give, she hated her roommate. The last straw was when she locked her out the entire night while she had some random guy in the room, who stole her pillows and blankets along with her bras. What kind of weirdo does that?

After a long hot shower, She changed into a t-shirt and a pair of fuzzy Christmas pjs pants. She tied her hair back and began to string lights on the little tree she picked up on the roadside stand by the diner. The loud echoing of the party going on below her becoming overwhelming, something to drown out the noise . 

"Alexa. Play my christmas playlist."

Home tonight

Rest my headIn my single childhood bed

Close my eyes

Count to three

Wish that you were here with me

She hummed along with the tune playing as she adorned the tree with the miscellaneous Ornaments she picked up at the thrift shop in town. She still attended classes, just enough to keep her scholarship in tact. Because there were no other dorms available, the school helped with some housing costs. she found  a small loft outside of campus, Saving her tips and using her savings she was able to furnish and decorate her little space. It wasn't much but it was hers, and she was proud of it.  

Still, the nights were lonely. She often thought about Colt, where he was, what he was doing. Did he think of her at all? 

Last year when my hands were cold

You were always there to hold

So give me your warmest pair

Your strongest pair of mittens

Please

Something to get me through

The loneliness of Christmas eve

Ifell for you, like crazy

And I can't get thoughts of you, from me

The speaker blasted the music, she liked this song. Her fingers grazed  a little glass star in the box. It made her think of her dad, god she missed him so much. They had made some progress in recent weeks, but he took an assignment that required him to travel, he would have to miss Christmas.  

So give me your warmest pair

Your strongest pair of mittens

Please

She stood back giving the tree a look over, absentmindedly resting her hand on her stomach, the other on her hip. A smile played on her lips its really coming together.  But the smile quickly faded as she spotted the couple walking from the building, holding hands the woman cuddling into her boyfriend's side.  

By my table I survive

Fix the makeup from my eyes

Fake a smile so they will see

Wish that you were here with me

Last year when my hands were cold

You were always there to hold

So give me your warmest pair

Your strongest pair of mittens

Please

She missed that…

***********

Colt climbed off his bike, a shiver rippling through him. He liked the warm, not the cold. He had been a rolling stone the past five months, going wherever his two wheel took him. He tried to keep his mind busy, planning job after job. The pay out was great, but something was missing. How could he become the king of L.A without his Queen? The problem was his Queen was far away being great.  The more time away from her, the more he realized he didn't need to be king of LA, he could be whatever she needed him to be. 

Looking up at the brick building a car drove past splashing a dirty,  wet, cold mixture of slush all over him. Great! Fuck you asshole! He shouted as he shook his hands.  Definitely not how he wanted his night to go. It was Christmas Eve, his father was gone, his mother vacationing on some tropical island with her new husband.  He was alone, completely alone. He let out a frustrated sigh as he made his way towards the building. He was nervous about this task, but the pay out was worth it. 

****************

Ellie sat on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket. The tv was on, but she wasn't paying it any mind. 

Shine your name

Through the snow storm, baby

You can break me

To the bone, ohI was wrong

You were wrong to make me

Feel like I was all alone,

She dabbed her eyes, the song hitting a little close to home.  Damn him for leaving her all alone, with no way to get in touch with him. He left her alone, when she needed him the most. 

Walking through my old home town

No one else but me around

Make an angel in the snow

Pray that I can let you go

*******

Colt stood in front of the door, he never felt nervous before a job, but this time the stakes were high and if he were being totally honest,  this wasn't exactly a job. He mustered up every ounce of courage he could as he lifted his hand to the door and gave it a quick rapp. His heart in his throat, he could hear the blood pounding in his ears. This was it, no turning back now. 

********

The party had started to die down, the commotion seeming to spill into the halls. She heard a knock at the door. God not another drunk idiot at the wrong apartment again. She grunted, rising from the couch and walking across the room. Slowly opening the door. 

fell for you, like crazy

And I can't get thoughts of you, from me

So give me your warmest pair

Your strongest pair

Your warmest pair

Ellie stood there stunned. She expected a drunk idiot, what she got was completely different.  She blinked repeatedly, a pair of deep brown eyes staring back at her. 

"Hi El." He nervously rubbed the back of his neck. 

"C, colt? Wha. What are you, how did you find. What are you doing here?" She stammered. 

 

"I um, I needed to see you. Can I. Maybe come in?" 

Ellie nodded,  stepping aside and letting him in. Closing the door behind her. 

"Ellie I. I.missed you. I'm sorry,  I Was an idiot. I shouldn't have let you go. I love you. "

"I'm pregnant." 

"You're.. Excuse me?" He stood there gobsmacked. 

"Five months. I don't expect anything from you. I can do this.." 

"Ellie.." 

"On my own. I can raise him alone. I just didn't know how to." 

"Ellie!" 

"Reach you. I just-" 

She was cut off by his lips meeting hers. His hands dropping from her cheeks, resting on her hips.  She threw her arms around his neck, melting into the kiss. She had felt so alone, so sad, so lost, but not anymore. He was here, he was real and her Christmas wish came true. 

"Ellie, I know I haven't been around. I'm an asshole who thought you were better off. But I Was wrong, I missed you so so much.  I promise to be there for you." He dropped his hands to her stomach, her small bump sticking out. "and our baby. I promise to take care of you both,  to love you both more than I ever thought capable. And I promise to.never leave you again." 

Ellie met his misty eyed gaze, tears began to fall freely. "Forever?" 

"Forever, you are my forever Ellie." He smirked as she jumped into his arms, nearly knocking him over. He was there, and he was finally home and neither would be alone again. 

See, I fell for you like crazy

And and I can't get thoughts of you, from me

So give me your warmest pair

Your strongest pair of mittens

Please

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#choices 12 days of fictmas #12 days of ficmas #colt x ellie #long post

[jawritter]

You and Me...

Chapter 23 FINAL CHAPTER

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non con, male!rape, injury, violence, discription of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self harm, panick attackes, implied female non con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings***  Memory of flashback, panic attack, breif discription of panic attack. the feels, all the feels, some fluff in there too, the worst part of this chapter is the flashback, and maybe some language, I don’t want to give to much away lol.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 3k

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine!, Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one! (flashback is in italics). The is the final chapter, and man this was a journey for me, I hope you all enjoyed reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it. 

Summery: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter you course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getthing through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

Taking the last leg of your journey in one day, the two of you pulled into Seattle somewhere around 7pm, three days after the two of you had left Austin. 

The night you had spent in Salt Lake City together had stretched into the early morning hours. You'd never felt so close to someone. So in love with someone. 

You couldn't believe that soon enough you'd be Mrs. Ackles. It didn't seem real. 

You watch through the windshield as your soon to be husband checked into the Shafer Baillie Mansion Bed and Breakfast. A beautiful bed and breakfast in Seattle, Washington. He'd planned this whole trip down to the last tinny little detail. Stopping at little stops along the way. All the time just spent getting to know each other. Getting closer than you'd ever been with each other. 

He paid the young lady at the front desk area that they had set up for check-ins. Then came walking out of the building. He'd enjoyed himself these last three days. You could tell. He just seemed to be over the moon since you’d left Salt Lake City, but watching him walk out to the car tonight, you could tell he was tired.

"Everything okay babe?" you asked, opened your car door for you, and grabbed your bags from the trunk. 

"Yeah, I'm just tired." he said, walking by you and pecking you on the cheek before you both head inside. 

He did look tired, but you couldn't help but worry that the reason he was acting this way was because you were so close to Vancouver. 

So close to doing what he feared doing the most. 

He loved shooting Supernatural. Often he said he felt lost when it was over, like a part of him was missing. Still there were new fears for him as he made this journey. Things and triggers that he didn't have to fight before. 

Getting into the room, and getting your thing settled. He turned and flopped himself down on the bed. Groaning a little when he was finally laying flat. Stretching his arms over his head. You sit down next to him and start rubbing his chest through his thin T-Shirt. 

"You sure you okay babe?" you asked him, laying down next to him. Cuddling into his shoulder, and rubbing your hand over his chest. 

"Yeah I'm okay, I just got a lot of memories that I'm fighting right now." he said, smiling at you a little. "I haven't been this close to Canada since I locked the door to my apartment, and headed back to Austin the day after we shot the last scene on Supernatural."

You wrapped your arms around him tighter, letting him relax into you. 

"It was a part of my life that I thought was close. That I'd left behind me. Not that I'm not grateful, and glad for another opportunity to do this, I guess I'm just afraid of the outcome. I don't want the show to wash out like some of the other comeback shows have. I've invested too much time into this to watch it fail." He said, rolling over to his side so that he could play with your hair.

“You guys are going to be just fine, you don’t have anything to worry about.” you tell him, watching as his eyes became heavy while you carded your hand through his hair. 

“Let’s just order some take out tonight, I’m exhausted.” he mumbled as his eyes closed, and his breathing became heavier. 

You leaned down, and gave him a peck on the cheek. “Okay baby.” 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning the two of you found yourself pulling into the parking lot of the Supernatural set. This is where he was going to be leaving the car that you two had driven up here to be auctioned off for charity. 

Cliff had left a black SUV here for the two of you to use while you were here. 

You only had to be in Canada a few days to look for, and sign some paperwork on an apartment that Jensen was looking into getting. His old apartment. So it shouldn’t be a problem. 

"So, I take it we're flying home then?" You asked him as you both got into the SUV. 

"Oh yeah. I don't think I'm that spunkie to make another three day drive back to Austin." Jensen said with a laugh before closing the door he looked around. There seemed to be no one else here. 

Tapping his fingers on the steering wheel a moment, Jensen then got out of the car, and looked around while leaning on the door. 

"What are you doing?" you asked him, opening your door, and watching him closely as he walked up to the gate. Pulling out the key card that Clif had given him to open the security gate again. 

"Come on I wanna show you some things, from what they tell me, all the old sets are still standing." he said, eyes bright with mischief. 

"Well wait for me!" you yell at him as you run after him into the set. 

The two of you walked through different sets that were still standing. Even after all this time. Even though it had only been about a year and a half it was still a little creepy to you. It looked old and abandoned. Which didn’t help the creepy factor at all. 

Jensen walked around with your hand in his, telling you different stories and memories from his time spent on the show.  

"Our trailers used to be parked over there. That's where the makeup and wardrobe trailer was. That's where they usually had the food tent. That Wearhouse over there is where they kept the Impala's. Those I know they took when the show ended. There's no need to look there.” He said, walking around like he knew exactly where he was going. Just like it had all just shut down today. A far off look in his eyes as memories flooded their way though his mind. 

Finally coming to a big mettle building he stopped, pulled out his keys again. 

"This should be it." He said, trying different keys. You stood there in silence as he worked. A little nervous about what awaited you on the other side of the door. Finally you heard the lock click as he opened it for the first time in over a year. 

The mettle door scraped the ground loudly as it  opened with a loud creaking sound that seemed to echo throughout the entire lot. Turning on the light on the phone he looked in. 

"Yep, this is it." He said, walking into a dark room only lit by his phone. There was red wallpaper, a fireplace, a desk, and an attached kitchen. Different things you couldn't see in the dark that he seemed to be able to make out easily. 

"Jensen where is this supposed to be?" you asked him as he came back over to where you were standing. 

"Bobby's old house. The living room and the kitchen. Man I spent a lot of time here." he said, looking around almost like he was going to cry. Reaching over standing in the middle of the mostly dark room Jensen reached his arms around your waist, and pulled you as close to him as he could. 

"Thank you for coming to do this with me." he whispered into your ear as he held you. "I needed this. I needed to remember what it was like to be here. What it was like to do this again. I needed to remind myself how much I missed it." He said. 

Turning you brought your lips up to meet his.

 "I told you almost a year ago, no matter what happens. It's you and me remember?" you asked him. He kissed you passionately. 

"Yeah.. You and me." he said, before leading you out of the building. Locking doors on his way as he made his way out to the car that was waiting for the two of you. 

It'd been a long year. A lot of hardships, and recovery from things that should have never happened. This time you felt like the winds of change were blowing in the favor of the two of you. This was the beginning of something good. It had to be. You'd both been through too much to have something go south again. You were both do for some good karma. 

Somethings people were just meant to do. Playing Dean Winchester, you felt, was just that for Jensen. It was what he was always meant to do from the very beginning.

----------------------------------------------------------

**Time jump seven years later**

Jensen's POV:

The stage lights were shining horribly bright in Dallas as Jensen and Jared tried to see the person standing off to the right side of the stage. It felt like they were miles away from the individual that was waiting to ask them a question.

"Hi!" Jared said. "I think there may be a person over here?"

The crowd chucked for a moment.

"What's your question?" Jensen said with a chuckle.

This never gets old. He could do it over and over again, it will always be his favorite thing to do. Getting to interact with his fans. Even though it could get a little stressful and tiresome at times, it was worth every hour of sleep missed.

"Hi! My question is for Jensen! You guys stopped filming the last season of Supernatural in its 20th season. These conventions are still going even though the new seasons have stopped. Did you guys see that coming, or was it something that came as a surprise to you?" she said.

She seemed older, and more confident than the fans that normally came to the microphone to ask them a question.

"No, we didn't see it coming. We thought well, the show is over, and the conventions will stop, but people just kept asking us to come, even offering to host these things in new cities. It's still growing even though we've finally put Sam and Dean to rest. This show is STILL impacting people's lives, and we couldn't be more blessed to have you guys. Without all of you these things wouldn't be happening, and wouldn't still be possible. So thank you." he said into the mic.

The crowd cheered as usual. More questions went through the mics. After all these years people were still coming up with good questions, which was impressive. When the show was over they were able to kind of give their own opinions so that put a new spin on things every year.

"Hi" Jared said, the girl that was standing on his side of the stage.

"Hi..." she fumbled nervously with her shirt. "My question is for Jensen," she stuttered into the mic.

"What is up with you getting all the questions today?!" Jared retorted into the mic. Jensen just smiled, and winked at the crowd.

"My home town dude, what did you expect." 

A soft laugh went through the crowd.

"What's your question?" they said together, causing a laugh to erupt through the crowd again.

"Over the years you have become a large advocate for people who are recovering from violent tramas... You know... similar to what you went through.... How did you get to the place you could talk about that... and do it so in a way that it doesn't trigger you anymore?" she asked, looking at her feet more than she looked at him.

He knew immediately that she'd been through a similar thing. Her body language screamed it for her.

After all these years he'd learned the tale signs.

The way she avoided eye contact with anyone. The way she shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, fidgeting, unable to stand still. Keeping an odd distance from all the other people that were standing around her.

He couldn't help the memories that flooded through his mind. All the milestones that he and y/n had made with each other's help. All the years that he had to struggle. Even though the attack was years behind him. The triggers that sometimes still came out of nowhere. The nightmares that haunted him for years before finally going away. For him though, his therapy had become helping other people that had gone through similar things.

One of the worst panic attacks he'd ever had was the first time Dean had to be tied to a chair by a monster they were hunting.

---------------------------------------------

"Babe, if you can't do this it's okay. Just tell the writers, and I'm sure they can work around it." y/n said, wrapping her arms around his shaking frame. He'd been up two days dreading this scene. He knew it would happen eventually. He knew he'd have to face this.

"No, I'm doing this. I'm tired of people treating me like I'm fragile and shit. I can do this. I just got to balls up and do it." he said, working himself up like a football player before a difficult play.

"Jensen, it's time." The props girl said, coming over to the side of the set where the two of you were standing.

Jensen walked over to the chair. He wondered for a moment if this is what people felt like walking up to the electric chair. Sitting down they started to put the ropes around his wrist. Immediately the flash backs started, but he fought against them. He was already starting to sweat. Pushing painful memories down he tried not to dwell on what felt so real going on in your mind.

Y/n was kneeling down in front of him, her hand on his knee.

"Please baby, don't do this. I can tell you're struggling already. Don't do this." you begged him. Jensen was determined though. He was going to get past this, he had too.

"No. No, I can do it." he said through gritted teeth.

The director yelled for everyone to clear the set. Y/n Leaned down, and kissed his cheek before turning to walk away. As soon as she left the shaking started to get worse, that tightening feeling in his chest becoming almost unbearable.

They yelled for quiet on the set. It was getting hard to breathe and the room around him seemed to be spinning, everything sounded distant in an uncomfortable way, and Jensen could have sworn his tongue was glued to the roof of his extremely dry mouth. J

ensen looked over to y/n and Jared who were standing on the other side of the directors chair. Watching with worried faces.

That's never happened with a panic attack before.

Normally he knew when they were starting, and was able to take control of them by now. Even though he knew this was nothing but a panic attack. It was threatening to overtake him quickly.

"Action!"

The monster who was supposed to be a werewolf walked over to him sensually, her long nails dragged across the table as Dean struggled with his restraints. She was going through her lines. Salturing over she ran her finger nails down Dean's chest, just like the script instructed her to do. His body jerked hard in response. It was getting hard to stay in the present. To stay focused.

She picked up the knife laying on the table next to him.

"I should gut you right here. Leave you scattered all over the room for your precious Sammy to find when he finally gets here. After what you did to my sister." She sneers in his face, and puts the knife up to his throat.

The room went black.

--------------------------------------------------

That was the worst flashback/ panic attack he'd ever had. It was so bad it triggered a seizure. It took weeks to recover from that one. He wasn't allowed to be tied to any more chairs.

Jensen felt Jared slap you on the shoulder and bring you back to the present. He was smiling at him reassuringly. Jensen looked over to the side of the stage that the family and friends usually sat at. You were sitting there smiling at him.

"It took me a long time to get to the point I could do this. I still have bad days. I still get triggers. Sometimes without warning. I had to learn the hard way that what happened to me does define me. I'm not a victim unless I chose to be. My biggest therapy was learning how to share what happened to me with others. To help others get through some of the same things that I went through. I'm not fully recovered even though it's been years. I take things one day at a time. I decided that Instead of letting what happened to me control my whole life. I was going to take control, and use it to help others. Now I've spoken everywhere from hospitals, to church youth groups and camps."

Jensen took a deep breath, and looked over at the poor girl standing there hanging on his every word.

"It's been hard. It's never been easy. I'll always have the scars from what was done to me. Even though you can't physically see any. Every day is a blessing to me. I'm thankful for every person that I can touch. If it helps someone else, it makes the struggle worth it. My best piece of advice I can give you is this. It's okay to have bad days, it's okay to feel like shit, it's okay to have days that you can't even look at yourself in the mirror, I know I have. It's all part of the process. Get support. Someone you trust that can help you, I know if I didn't have y/n...I wouldn't be here today. I probably would have succumbed to depression, and you guys would be leaving flowers at my grave site today."

The crowd cheered in response. The girl thanked him and walked back to her seat. He made a mental note to go have her brought back stage so that he could talk to her in private.

"Okay guys I'm getting the signal. We got time to take one more question." Jared said.

Jensen pointed at the girl that was standing off on the other side of the light. "Yes, what's your question."

Your POV:

You sat there watching your husband answer questions, and joke with his friend. It was down to the last question. It was a light question about taking selfies with Misha on the boat. Thank God.

Sure he'd gotten to where questions about what happened to him didn't bother him in the least, but you knew after a while it could be taxing on anyone to have to answer question after question on that subject matter, and you would be glad when this con was over, so that you could go home to Austin for a little while with your husband.

Finally everything was over and Jensen weaved his way over to you. Not bothering even trying to go backstage.

He walked up to you wrapping you in a hug.

"You did great babe." You tell him, and he smiled that smile that damn near knocks you off your feet every time.

"Are you okay? No sign that the baby is coming is there?" he asks, putting his hand on your swollen stomach.

"No. Still safe and sound in there." you tell him, pulling him in to kiss you before he's ushered away from you to the next photo opp.

You were so proud of that man.

You couldn't believe how far he's come since you met him. He was everything you ever wanted and more. You couldn't wait until your baby was born. Part of you hoped that the little boy looked just like his daddy.

Sure a baby at Jensen's age wasn't something that was planned, but life had plans you guys didn't know about, but welcomed when you found out you were going to have a baby. Deciding you would be surprised, and wait to find out the gender, much to the annoyance of Gen, and everyone else that was part of the SPN family.

Life finally was looking up for you guys. Even though Jensen had some bad days. He gets better and better every day.

Just like you had promised him in the beginning you were with him every step of the way.

The picture from your wedding that sat proudly on your mantel in your home had a wood burned carving in it that said. "You and Me."

A constant reminder that no matter what you faced. You'd get through it together.

"You and me. No matter what." you whisper, as your husband walked toward the young girl that was struggling with her question. Stopping the whole progress to the photo op room just because he wanted to talk to her.

He may not be perfect, but to you he was perfect in every way.

Life had changed a lot since you met Jensen all those years ago in that small studio in Austin, Texas.

Even though there were challenges you both had to face, and lessons that you had to learn most normal couples hopefully would never encounter. It didn't destroy you.

It made you stronger.

Yes, there are monsters out there. They walk among us every day. They hurt people, and they do things to people that are down right inhuman and cruel.

Yes, bad things happen to people that don't deserve it.

Living in fear is NOT an option.

Watching Jensen overcome what happened to him was one of the hardest things you ever had to do, hell it changed you both.

Spiritual, mentally, and physically, neither of you would ever be the same.

Now you watched him take what was done to hurt him, to tear him down completely, and build up others. Strangers. People that he owed nothing, but instead let LOVE win.

There's no other person you'd rather spend the rest of your life with, scars and all.

No matter what life throws your way, no matter what may happen tomorrow. You would get through it together.. Just like you always promised.

You and me.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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#dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean winchester dark fic #dark!fic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester fanfic #dean x you #dean x reader #spn fanfiction #spn dark fic #spn fanfic #jensen ackles #jawritter #you and me

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

Happiness Begins

Part 11

Chapter Summary: Jensen and the reader deal with the aftermath of their night spent together. 

Word Count: 4.3K+

Warnings: Language, slightly dub-con kiss

Author’s Note: I’m so glad so many of you enjoyed their first little “get together”. Your words of encouragement make my day and I love reading each and every one of them!

Catch up with the series masterlist and check out Alexandra’s Library for more work by yours truly!

The sun began to rise, its rays shining into the guest house at the perfect angle across her face. She nuzzled into the pillow now underneath her head, not wanting to get up just yet. As consciousness pulled at her to wake up, memories of the night and whose bed she was lying in came crashing back to her. She sat bolt upright in the bed, the sheet falling off of her naked body. Soft snores came from the other side of the bed. Jensen lay on his stomach, his arms folded underneath the pillow. She took a moment to take in his peaceful state. His long lashes rested against his freckled cheeks and his pink lips were slightly parted as he breathed evenly. 

She slipped out from under the covers and began picking up her discarded articles of clothing. Her plan was to relax for a few minutes before slipping back into the house so she could say goodbye and head home. Somewhere along the way, both of them had fallen asleep, and now she could only hope that after their late night, no one in the main house was up yet. 

Her mind was racing as she hastily redressed herself. Too many different thoughts sped through her head, her anxiety on high again. If her mind running wild wasn’t bad enough, it seemed her garter did not want to cooperate with her either. The clasps kept popping as soon as she moved on to the next one. Eventually, she gave up, deciding to just slip on her dress and call it a day. If she had to pretend like she slept in her costume, no one would question her looking disheveled. As she picked up her coat, her phone tumbled across the hardwood floor and making the loudest sound she would have imagined it could. She swore under her breath as a loud snort came from the snoozing man on the bed as he roused from his slumber. 

“Good morning.” His gruff voice called as he rolled over and rested his weight on his elbows. He only had one eye open and a small smile on his lips in his groggy state. She smiled back at him as she pulled on her shoes. 

“Good morning, I gotta run.” She hung her coat over her arm as she sprinted from the guest house. She ignored Jensen calling after her, she couldn’t face talking to him right now, not when she couldn’t even put together her thoughts for herself. Avoidance was her specialty after all. 

She crept up to the large sliding doors to the kitchen and peered inside. Genevieve was standing at the stove, her back to the window and Odette on her hip. She cursed to herself before rounding the house to the sliding door leading to Jared’s office. If Gen was up with the kids, then she could assume that Jared was still knocked out. She just hoped that his office door wasn’t locked. 

She was in luck, as she tugged on the handle, the door gave and she slipped inside. She grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and shook it out before refolding it and tossing it in a new position on the back of the couch. The little details mattered. If Jared found out where she spent the night, he would not be happy. Jared didn’t like the idea of her sleeping with any guy. Throw in that guy being his best friend, and nothing good would come of that. 

The door opening to Jared’s office caught Genevieve’s attention. She turned towards her sister-in-law, a huge smile on her face. 

“Hey, I didn’t know you stayed here last night.” Gen noted as she shifted Odette’s weight on her hip. 

“Yeah, after three glasses of whiskey, I’d rather be safe than sorry.” Y/n laughed, the noise sounding forced. Gen didn’t seem to notice though. 

“Well, I’m glad. Will you stay for breakfast?” Gen asked her as she turned down the pan she had bacon cooking in. 

“Um, I don’t think so. I really just want to take a shower and get into some comfy clothes. Thanks though.” 

“If you’re sure,” Gen turned more towards her, a frown on her face. Gen knew how much she loved having breakfast with her niece and nephews, so her turning down the opportunity was rare. 

“I’m sure. Love you guys.” She kissed Odette, blowing a tiny raspberry on her niece’s cheek before running off. Odette’s giggling was the last thing she heard as she shut the door behind her and ran for her car. She sped out of their driveway and headed towards her apartment. The whole time her mind was running wild. 

Y/n couldn’t decide where to start. She had woken up in bed naked... with Jensen? It wasn’t that she didn’t remember last night, it was more a question of how they had ended up there. Both of them had been a little inebriated, sure, but they both had also openly consented. Jensen had told her that he wanted it. Why though, she couldn’t figure out. She had been sure he only saw her as a little sister. What had changed? Was it their talk behind the guest house. He had confessed intimate things to her and was easily feeling vulnerable. Had she taken advantage of that? Her stomach churned at the thought, but it was the best explanation she could come up with considering he said that he doesn’t do one night stands. But what else could you classify last night as? Should they just chalk it up to one big mistake? It was easier for her to convince herself that it was a mistake. That was the easiest way for her to protect her heart from his inevitable rejection. 

That being said, it was a mistake that she would make again and again she told herself as she pulled up to her building. Last night had been the best night she’s had in a long time. Her whole being felt light this morning. The stress of the last few months that she carried on her shoulders was gone. Jensen had thoroughly fucked her last night. That much was evident from the ache between her legs. She couldn’t even remember the last time she had come that many times in one night, if ever. Her thighs squeezed together as more memories from last night came back to her. She held onto them, and committed them to memory. They were probably going to be the only ones she ever got. 

As she walked through her apartment, she began stripping her clothes, tossing them wherever she pleased. She started the shower before going over to brush her teeth. She ran a comb through her hair, tossing the fallen curls over her left shoulder when she noticed it. Right there, at the base of her neck on the right side, was a small red hickey. In going over all her memories, she hadn’t realized he had been forceful enough to leave a mark. Her fingers danced over the sensitive flesh, committing it to her memory too. She cursed herself for her naivety, hoping Gen hadn’t noticed it this morning. With Jensen being the only other single person at that party, there was no way she would be able to explain it away. 

With a deep breath, she jumped into the shower, letting the hot water run over her body. She took her time, washing everything and just enjoying the heat against her skin. The ghosts of Jensen’s hands on her body could be felt in the tender flesh of her hips and the scratches on her backside where her own hands traveled as she washed away last night. 

When she stepped out, her whole bathroom had become a steam room. She could no longer see anything in her bathroom mirror as she dried herself off and tossed her hair into a towel on top of her head. She made her way back into her bedroom, picking out comfy sweats and a sports bra to wear. 

As she walked out of her room, her stomach growled at her, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten. She was putting a bowl of oatmeal into the microwave when she heard her phone vibrating from its place on her coffee table. She pressed start and went to fish her phone from her coat pocket. She had some missed messages from friends wishing her a happy new year, but it was the two messages from Jensen that caught her attention.

We need to talk.

Please?

Her stomach sank as she read over the few words. She knew the ‘lets just be friends’ conversation was inevitable, but that didn’t make any of it easier. She guessed she could be thankful that he wanted to do it in person and not over text. It was the classier move.

As much as she tried to convince herself on the drive that it was all a mistake, she had failed. The rejection stung, no matter what she tried to tell herself. Still, she would get over it. She always did. Years of rejection had made her a pro at it. What was one more? 

The microwave beeped and she decided not to reply to him. They didn’t need to talk face to face, she didn’t think she could handle it. She had gotten the message loud and clear anyway. The two of them would go back to be whatever it was they were. Friends? Coworkers? She wasn’t sure exactly how to define their relationship, but she supposed it didn’t really matter. The show was over after this season, and they would never be forced to see one another again. Maybe he would be periodically around Jared at the same time she was, but they would not be forced to be alone together. 

She went back to grab her breakfast, pulling the towel from her hair so it could air dry the rest of the way. She plopped down on the couch and pulled up some random trash tv show to watch as she ate. Her phone buzzed another handful of times, but she chose to ignore it. Whoever or whatever it was, could wait until she could get her thoughts in order. When she finished her breakfast, she took the empty bowl to the sink. As she headed back to her living room, a knock sounded at her front door. 

With trepidation, as she had not been expecting company, she went to open the door. The last person she expected to see there was Jensen. Yet, there he was, his hair still damp from his own shower, a somber look on his face.

“What are you doing here?” Her brows scrunched up as she stepped back to allow him inside. 

“You wouldn’t answer my texts.” He shrugged as his eyes scanned the inside of her apartment. 

“So you came to my apartment? How did you even know where I live?” She crossed her arms against her chest. Her hopes of having a peaceful day had been dashed. This was the last thing she wanted to deal with right now. 

“Uh,” Jensen rubbed the back of his knuckles across the stubble on his jaw. The memory of his beards scratch between her legs had her biting back a groan. “I asked Jared to borrow his phone. I told him mine was dead and I needed to check my email.” 

“Well, you really didn’t have to go to all that trouble just to reject me.” Her tone was sour but she couldn’t help it. Now that she was physically close to him again, it was like something went off inside her. Her whole body was calling out to him, just begging to be touched by his hands one last time, to feel his muscles rippling underneath her fingertips as he moved above her.

“What are you talking about, reject you?” Jensen was confused. Did she really think that he drove across town just to reject her?

“You said we should talk. I get it okay, we were both a little messed up and vulnerable last night, it was a mistake.” She spit out through gritted teeth. It physically pained her to say the words out loud.

“Is that really what you think? That last night was a mistake?” Jensen couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Last night had been incredible, and even now, he longed to touch her again. 

“No, I don’t.” She admitted. “But that doesn’t mean that it should ever happen again. We lead different lives Jensen, not to mention the possible backlash from everyone we know.” Her mind was grasping for reasons that it wouldn’t work, because that was the only way she would be able to get over it when it did end. She turned and walked away from him, plopping down onto her couch. Jensen followed her, sitting on the edge, his body turned towards her.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you since our last night in Vancouver.” Jensen admitted. “And last night… last night was amazing. I don’t think that is something that you just let go of.” He placed his hand on her knee, squeezing it so she would look up at him. “Y/n, you are this crazy, beautiful, insanely intelligent mystery that I just want to get to know better. Believe me when I say that last night wasn’t just about the sex, no matter how great it was. Let me take you out on a proper date this time, let’s do it right.” 

“Jensen,” She started, ready to tell him all the reasons she had come up with why it wouldn’t work, as much as she didn’t want to believe them. “What about Jared? As much as I love my brother, I don't think he would be too thrilled about this.” 

“We don’t even have to tell anyone, at least until we figure out what all this is. Just look me in the eyes and tell me it’s not something you want, and I’ll drop it. We go back to being friends and forget this ever happened.” He stared at her, intent on keeping her gaze. The intensity of his stare stirred up those butterflies inside her again, and she knew that she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell him that she didn’t want to do it all again. She couldn’t tell him that all she had wanted since she ran from his room this morning was to crawl back into bed with him because they would all be lies. How could she say no to the man basically begging at her feet? It was like he said, she couldn’t stop thinking about him, and who knows, maybe they aren’t meant to be. What is life without taking a few risks, and she would be damned if she didn’t take this one. A small smile began to form on her lips as she held his gaze.

“Is that a yes?” His voice was wary as he stared at her. 

“It is Ackles, so you better make it worth my while.” He flashed her a toothy grin, his tongue peeking between his teeth.

“Don’t you worry sweetheart, I never leave a woman disappointed.” 

****

A week went by without another word from Jensen. She saw him in passing when she was at Jared’s house to say one last goodbye to Gen and the kids. He didn’t say much to her, but he wasn’t avoiding her either. The whole concept of a secret relationship, if you could even call it a relationship, was foreign to her. She had no idea how to act when they were around other people. The lack of communication between them didn’t exactly help either. They were stuck in this weird limbo between a hook up and a ‘first date’ and neither of them knew what to do.

The thoughts in her brain where firing on overdrive every time he was near her that day. She was like a dog in heat, and the only thing on her mind was the way his muscles rippled under strain, or his breathy moans in her ear as he fucked her. On multiple occasions, Gen had to snap her out of her little trances. She would brush it off, telling them that she was just thinking about work. That then would only lead to everyone telling her that she worked too hard, which wasn’t a lie per se, it just wasn’t her current problem. 

Her excitement to be back in Vancouver only heightened as the week passed. It would give her the perfect opportunity to be distracted by something other than Jensen, at least that was what she hoped. 

She grabbed her bag from the security conveyor and followed after Jensen and Jared towards their gate. “I guess I’ll see you guys when we land.” She stopped outside the first class lounge, her stomach knotting up as she glanced towards her crowded gate. 

“Think again.” Jared grinned. 

“What are you talking about?” She had no clue what he was hinting at, but judging from the look on his face, he was up to something. Jared pointed to her hand that held her passport and boarding pass. 

“Take a look at your ticket.” She glared at him suspiciously before she scanned the boarding pass in her hand. Under the boarding class, it read ‘First Class’. 

“Jared, what did you do?” She sighed. 

“I upgraded your ticket.” He was all smug, not catching on to the tone in his sister’s voice. 

“Why? You know I don’t care about that crap.” 

“You don’t care about your seat, but I know how you feel about airports. It’s much quieter and less crowded in here and you deserve it.” He put his arm around her shoulders and guided her into the lounge, not allowing her to protest. There was a tv on one wall playing the local news station. On the opposite wall was a table with snacks and fresh coffee. Jared wasn’t wrong when he said she would feel better in the lounge. It had put her at ease just walking through the doors. 

“So, this is how the other half lives?” She teased as she chose a seat to rest in before boarding. 

“Get used to it. Before long, you’ll make more money than I do and you’ll be purchasing all the first class tickets your heart desires.” Jared admitted as he sat in the seat beside her. She shook her head at Jared’s antics. She didn’t want to admit to how much she was already enjoying his surprise. It made her a little guilty that he had done something so nice for her and here she was, hooking up with his best friend and hiding it all from him. Both her and Jensen had decided though, that until they could figure out whatever it was that was happening between them, it would stay just between them. What was the point in fighting with everyone if all of meant nothing in the end anyway? 

She sat back in her seat, watching the news as they waited to board. They were being called onto the plane shortly after they had arrived. She followed behind Jared and Jensen down the tarmac, their longer legs carrying them faster than she could go. Not to mention she was busy reading the seat number on her ticket as she walked, allowing a few people to slip in between the guys and her. To her surprise, as she came up to her seat, her neighbor was none other than Jensen. 

“Really? That’s convenient.” She met his smile as he stood up when he noticed her. He took her carry-on from her and lifted it into the overhead bin. 

“I promise I had nothing to do with it.” He closed the full compartment and stepped back so she could slip into the window seat. She set her purse down and buckled up as Jensen did the same. 

“Just lucky I guess.” She turned her head, looking around for her brother. He sat at a window seat on the other side of the plane, two rows back from them. He waved when she met his eye and she offered him a small wave back. 

“Think he can hear us?” Jensen’s voice was low as she settled into her seat. 

“I doubt it. He’ll probably have his headphones in any second anyway.” 

Jensen turned his head towards her, his voice low. “How have you been this week?” 

“Honestly? Weird. I don’t know how to do this, how to act. I’ve never had to hide from the people around me in that sort of way.” Her voice trailed off as the flight attendant came and asked if they wanted a drink. Both of them opted for a water. As soon as the attendant had handed them their drinks and was out of ear shot, Jensen spoke again. 

“I know what you mean. When I saw you at Jared’s, I had to fight the urge to kiss you on the spot.” His words had her breath catching. She cleared her throat and took a drink of the small water bottle in her lap. He had a smug grin on his face as she looked back at him. 

“You enjoy seeing me flustered don’t you?” She bit her lip as she tried to hide her own smile. The stern face she was attempting to convey was failing to come across properly.

“I do, especially when your cheeks flush pink like that,” He tipped his chin at her and she could feel her blush deepening. “Been thinking about about your flushed skin all week.” 

“Oh,” She looked away from him and crossed her legs. He chuckled lowly at his success as the plane took off. “You need to behave.” She pointed a stern finger at him. He put his hands up but she could still see the twinkle in his eye. Jensen didn’t understand the concept of behaving. If he kept it up, she would never make it through this flight. That little growl he had as his voice dropped went straight to her core, and she could feel the slick settling between her legs. 

All of his comments were giving her whiplash. He was more brazen after not talking for nearly a week than she was expecting. It wasn’t that she didn’t like it, she just had no idea where they sat with each other, and him trying to rile her up in front of a plane full of people was just as confusing as it was arousing. The two of them had only slept together once, but it was almost like he knew her better than she knew herself. 

She made a show of taking out her headphones and putting them in her ears, letting him know that she was pointedly ignoring any further attempt he would have devised to get under her skin. The attendants brought by snacks and more drinks for them. Besides interacting with them, she was doing a good job of ignoring Jensen. After her second bottle of water though, she needed to use the restroom. 

She pulled out her headphones and unbuckled her belt. “Can I get up? I need to use the restroom.” She nudged his knee. 

“Oh, now you want to talk to me.” He undid his own seatbelt and stood up into the aisle. 

“I’ll talk to you as long as you can behave. Can you do that?” She paused before continuing. 

“No promises, but I’ll try.” He played. She nodded and headed to the small bathroom. The bathroom seemed to be more roomy than she was expecting, though still small. Just another stupid perk of first class. Jared was trying to spoil her, and she hated that it was working. She washed her hands and pulled on the door. The overhead light shut off and the light from the main cabin was blocked by a large figure in the opening. 

“Jay?” She had not been expecting him to be there, and was even more thrown when he pushed her back into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him. “What the hell are you doing?” The two of them were nearly chest to chest in the tight space. 

“Don’t worry, Jared is sleeping.” Jensen put his hands on her jaw, bringing her face up to his. Her body reacted to him of its own accord, closing the small space and opening her mouth to him. She could taste his cinnamon gum on his lips and smell his signature cologne. It all brought her back to New Year’s and she never wanted it to end.

“‘T’s not Jared I’m worried about.” Her words were breathy as she pulled away from him. “I’d rather not get arrested.” Jensen chuckled, pressing his lips back to hers. His tongue swiped across her lips and she granted him access. Their tongues moved together until her head was dizzy and her chest was heaving. 

“I just couldn’t wait to do that again.” He brushed his thumb across her swollen bottom lip. 

“Well now that you have it out of your system, can we go back to our seats before someone catches us?” Jensen nodded at her request.

“One last thing. Friday at nine, think you can slip out past your brother?” He grabbed the handle to the door, ready to walk out. 

“I’ll figure something out.” She agreed. Jensen pulled open the door, the light above them going out again. 

“Good, now go, I’ll be out in a minute.” He urged her out of the bathroom. She peeked her head out and made sure no one was paying attention before heading back to her seat. She sat down and buckled up, her lips still tingling from his touch and a soft smile on her face.

Part 12

Forevers: @spn-impala​​ @22sarah08​​ @turtlepad​​ @callmekda​​ @chaldei​​ @hobby27​​ @casualfestivaltrashpainter​ @cowboysnwinchesters​​ @tranquility-or-chaos​​ @pikabootoyouchu​​ @dawnie1988​​ @grease222​​ @frackinawesomeninja​ @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce​​ @polina-93​ @clarinette07​​ @moonlight-babeh​​ @suckerforfanfic​​ @witandnargles​​ @sleepylunarwolf​ @stiles-stilinski-24-dylan​ 

Et Cetera: @jbbarnesgirl​ @hillface89​ @arses21434​ @thevelvetseries​ @sslater34​ @mrsirishboru​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @spnfamily-j2​ @encounterthepast​ @facadeformyrealblog  @supernatural-bellawinchester​ @screechingartisancashbailiff​​ @rebeccathefangirl​ @squirrelnotsam​ @heartinmyhead1​ @1d-killed-me​ @samsgirl93​ @deans-baby-momma​ @deanmonandnegansbitch​ @woodworthti666​ @supraveng​ @onethirstyunicorn​ @heartsaved @know2grow​ @littlewhiterose​ @surprisinglysarah​ @stoneyggirl​ @carryon-doctor-lock​ @thebookisbtr​ 

Idk why Tumblr is a little bitch sometimes and will randomly stop letting me tag certain blogs, so if your URL has a line through it, blame Tumblr

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