#and ive waited. months and years for friends.

[rayrayline]

ᯓ★ Chained Ardency ᯓ★

marry who?

Synopsis: You, one of the most notable actresses of all time, have been bothered once again by your despicable mother to inherit the company via marriage. Though, it's nothing to worry about. After all, you've procrastinated on that for three years, so what's the difference this time? Oh, how wrong you were. Everything. Down from your career to your friends. So entirely out of spite and anger, you decide to marry the man whom your entire household carries an unexplainable hatred for.

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• Current Status: Ongoing (or onhold?)٠ ࣪⭑

• Genre: actors au, highschool rivals, arranged marriage, rivals to lovers, angstidy angst, slow burn, fluff and the like٠ ࣪⭑

• taglist: open

• Authors' note

• i genuinely have no idea what im doing since this is my first SMAU like ever

• constructive criticism is very much welcome !

• drink water, eat well, sleep a lot, touch grass !!

• updates are definitely irregular and i may go on hiatus so many times

• english is not my first language ! contains a lot of swearing as well

• and if i ever decide to drop this, ill make sure to post an outline ive made for this au !!

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˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ Profiles ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

⟶ [Clams Corporation]

⟶ [Gayhold]

⟶ [Extras]

───〃★

i. initium. || ii. increditus

iii. formido || iv. lux

v. reminiscor || vi. lumen initiis

vii. eventus || viii. stultitiam

ix. cupiditas || x. spes

xi. venustas || xii. caelum

xiii. tumultus || xiv. falsus

xv. instinctus || xvi. patentia

xvii. bellus || xviii. pulchra

xix. amare || xx. epiphania

───〃★ Won't you wait for me?

xxi.

xxii.

───〃★ wait for me, love.

xxx.

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authors' thoughts and notes - for anyone who got a tip on how to do this and that (specifically on taglists), please guide me. i've been brewing this since two months ago but haven't got the chance to act on it due to incessant activities (🙄) and cuz im a real scaredy cat. genuinely hope y'all enjoy reading this and i sincerely hope y'all to drink water especially in the ph, cuz IT'S SO HOT RIGJT NOW I'M SWEATING. Notes and reblogs are very much appreciated.

(ask to be added or removed)

#jjk smau #gojo smau #jjk x reader #fluff #slowburn #gojo fluff #gojo angst #angst #jjk angst #jjk au #gojo x reader #brother suguru #actors #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo satoru #gojo #nobara fangirl #live laugh love filipinos for surviving the damn weather #gojo satoru x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n

[assmaster-8000]

Those were all hallucinations because if you're patient rook he'll be the best lover anyone could have he'd take you out to the sweetest dates they feel like you're living a fairy tale, as soon as 12 am hits on your anniversary he'll be awake, just to kiss your face and hold you tightly, it's important to him even if he knows you don't realize it's happening, and once you do wake up you wake up to the sweetest man to ever exist he won't leave your side at all in that day he couldn't bear to do so, that's why he makes sure to clear up everything in his schedule two weeks before. he'd want to travel the world by your side, take you to experiences he knows you'll never forget and cherish forever he wants you to be by his side at all times of his life he can't imagine how he'd be had you not stayed by his side despite his flaws

ur so sweet aster it'd almost be inconceivable if there were ever a situation else wise 😵

for realsies though i may be an easily irritated person, im very patient in dealing with people and emotionally tense situations so me and rook? we gang fr we tight like a booty hole in here 🤭 im a very heavy sleeper so unless rook shakes me by the neck to give me a kiss i would NAWT gaf 🔥🔥🔥

#not the most mature person in the world; i still have a lot to learn about myself and others #but i will say i have a surprising amount of emotional intelligence? #i say surprising because i don't think i give that vibe off #and when i was 12-13 i used to have many faults in conflict with friends #i mean that's 5 years ish ago so obviously id have changed #when i was 14-16 i had several conflicts with close friends too but i was more of bystander involved than particularly INVOLVED involved #and i usually keep my cool and communicate/listen well during then #though i can't say the same for afters #ive had a lot of opportunities to learn from people who are... how to say. hot and cold? the cold shoulder types i guess #and ive waited. months and years for friends. #still waiting for a few of them #im patient in that i can give time and space to people and work it out with them #but i also get irritated if you talk to me with the wrong intonation for the day so its a win lose thing 😿 #i don't know if you wanted to hear me talk about myself so i left it in the tags #but i like hearing about my moots. like who they really are behind the silly acoustic account #and sharing things about myself as well #honestly i think people like him and vil are the best types of people. not just characters. but people #for people like you. he's very attentive and observant and tenacious and passionate and i think that's what you need #˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ asterisk #˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗ asks

[heartorbit]

i'm sending this endless melody to a nameless you

#SKELETON ORCHESTRA AND LILIA I NEED YOU #project sekai #emunene #emu otori #nene kusanagi #pjsk #prsk #proseka #wxs cover wishlist copium.. 2!! #i have lots more of them i wanna draw but ill do st least one duet for each pair i think. maybe nnks next ive had one for them forever #Gyaaaa #Crying i have szks lunar new years art that idk how to render im missing the holiday. lord in heaven #Ik every leaker or whatever says this is going to mmj snd it probably will and i'll love the cover but still. emunene save me #wxs gets songs with nonsense lyrics its possible right Right right #i also wanted setsuna trip to go to emu in any duet but i looove the mnai cover so i won anways #Kind of too sleepy to do my usual. Sorry viewers who like reading theough my insane tags. Dont get covid it makes you sleep 13 hours a day #For the next month. #my friends saw me going nuts over this drawing actually and i gave up hard on nenes dress i just wanted to be done.. love how emus looks.. #wait i actually can be insane in the tags THE WXS WORLDLINK SONG SJHDDYDJKYMY TGYAYDHUA!!! HAGSGYAAH!!!!! GY6;$;$;$;$;$ WHEHEHEHEHEH #WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH. Its so good please help. Wxs tetrad that illuminates the world save me. #why does the 2dmv have all of them under a WEDDING AROOOR WHY IS THERE A WEDDING BELL. CONGRATS ON POLYSHO MARRIAGE. HWATEVVRR!!!!! #wonderlands x showtime killing me taking damage augh Auughg akk akcghj

[an-assortment-of-forks]

there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what! #wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do #is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better #to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off #tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer #disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!! #but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything #and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me #and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me #so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again #I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again #I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly #what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do?? #just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky? #bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen??? #ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it #etc etc #I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted. #and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part #these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer. #but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.

[arts-i-enjoy]

AHHHHHH

#this post brought to you by: me #i. applied for a preapproval letter for a mortgage yesterday. and spoke to a realtor to start finding me houses #i want to move several states away which further complicated things. but the houses there are CHEAP #like under 100k for a 2 bedroom move in ready #anyways i got approved for 80k with a 20k down payment. and im FREAKING THE FUCK OUT #and because i got that pre app letter i have a loan officer calling me today to talk #and we literally work at the same bank so i can SEE that hes active and hasnt read my message #even though its been 45 minutes. KEVIN MESSAGE ME BACK. IM NOT GONNA BE ABLE TO FOCUS UNTIL I DO THIS CALL #AHHHHHHH S C R E A M. it might happening!!!! i might be finally.mov8ng out in a few months!!! #i mgiht be a HOMEOWNER by the end of the year #i have been saving money for this since i was. 16? 17? #ive had a good well paying job since i was 18. #AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #once i have a house then i start job searching in that area. and start getting really serious about LEAVING my very good job #which is soooo scary. this job was supposed to be my lifelong career. but then everyone fucking moved to other states and left me behind #so theres no point staying here. #i might never have this kind of job security again. #but also my realtor said that theres a lot of bank jobs in that area so maybe itll be easy to find something #on the fence on if i tell my parents that im Making Moves right now #on one hand its hard to not talk about it becuae im STRESSED TF OUT #but on the other hand when i tentatively mentioned the state i want to move to #richard started yelling and swearing el oh el #might be better to wait and avoid the tension as long as possible? #but also i dont know how they can stay angry when its literally my best option #the other places where my friends live either have 0 opportunity and high housing prices. or are even moe liberal than where im going #idk. why do half of my problems come down to “my parents will be mad” like im a 12 year old or something. shit fucking sucks #this is why i want to get out of here #also it feels weird and bad to talk to my friends about how stressed i am about buying a house when all of them are stressed about #not being able to make rent or something. my problems feel like a brag in a really odd and shitty way. but hey! #if this works out maybe ill start being stressed about how im going to make my mortgage payments! :') yay!

[jackblackhotelmirror]

IF ANYONE CARES THE 50 MINUTE VERSION OF LIVE AT POMPEII INTERVIEW WAS RELEASED

#i'm a month late to this but OH MY GOD IVE WAITED FOR THIS FOREVER #13 YEAR OLD ME WOULD BE SO HAPPY TO KNOW WE FINALLY SAW THIS #guys i'm actually so happy about this like whahshshskajs #i just sent a voice message to my friend of me raving about this #pink floyd #roger waters #david gilmour #rick wright #nick mason #Youtube

[c10v3r]

happy new years ii community !!!!!!! my new years resolution is to be more silly

#HGEHSHAH #inanimate insanity #ii lightbulb #its the 31st for mwe #so im staying up to see the new years #and then im gonna do it again with my other friends tomorrow #so rest in peace my sleep schedule #or whats left of it anyways #HGEJAHEHJAA #ok but i cant wait to make more gay people art next year with you guys #because hinestly there is no way this hyperfixation is ever going away #i didt hat art summary thing and ive been hyperfixating since june #it all started on pride month. of course #/JJJ #but its very funny to see a bunch of miscellaneous art and then BOOM OBJECT SHOWS #its like a jumpscare #anyways thats enough rambling from me #hapoy new years again #waves

[scattered-winter]

THIS SUCKS!!!!

#SORRY I HAD TO GET THIS OUT OF MY SYSTEM #she's not gone yet but. very soon. #if i had to guess i would say sometime during the night or tomorrow. very very soon. #ive already said all my goodbyes and we sang around her bedside one last time and i think im as ready for it as ill ever be #but that being said. how the fuck do u get ready for your mom to die. #but it's not all bad. #my aunt was sitting by me while we sat at my mom's bedside and just shared stories between singing #and she wiped the tears off my face and traced my veins and held my hand while we both cuddled my dog #and idk. im the black sheep of the family but that doesn't mean i'm not part of it. even when shit sucks. #and these last couple months have been rough because first i lost my friend suddenly and now the thing we've been waiting for #for 3 years is finally happening #and idk. in a way i'm glad it's happening because i won't have to watch her suffer anymore. and in a way i won't suffer either. #just kinda ripping the bandaid off yk. #anyway i am contemplative and mostly at peace this fine night. we'll see what the morning brings. #winter speaks #personal #grief tag

[ilonacho]

it hit me what makes me the most miserable abt my work week is how it’s just school all over again. just hanging in there until the weekend. repeat. repeat. repeat

#5 outta 7 days im at work. 2 days of freedom #2 days to do chores n run errands n relax n sleep n draw n catch up w/ friends n go places #and if u gotta reschedule itll be weeks before ur available again #like for months now ive tried to get together w/ friends but our days off dont match n shit keeps coming up #not to mention im fucking tired! im exhausted! i want to sleep in and then draw the rest of the day! #i think the worst part is that back in school.. at least it didnt matter as much? because it all led to an end aka graduation? #like i didnt mind the wait for next weekend as much cuz it was temporary #like eventually ill graduate and then ill have freedom! (i thought? for some reason??) #but now its like.. the weeks are going by so fast this year is already almost over i turn 26 in 2 weeks #and this is.. the rest of my life? like youre kidding right? this cant be it? #i get off work n then i have to take care of the cats n chores n then eat dinner n then shower n then its late and i gotta sleep #before work the next day. i dont have time nor energy to rly do anything #and ill get that feeling of like. oh well at least it brings me closer to the next ‘weekend’ #but i dont wanna live weekend to weekend #i mean im thankful to have a job n coworkers i love like i truly hate it there sometimes but i also am happy and thankful for it #but yknow.. it shouldnt have to be like this #i worded this so much better in the shower but im tired of feeling like school part 2 like what the fuck man #ive had work every single day since we came back from our trip n i just dont have time/energy for anything #i need to open commissions back up but i havent even gotten around to starting one a friend asked for #not to mention this years christmas card ive barely got the sketch done for #and again. my favourite holiday. halloween is on tuesday and while we did plan halloweeny stuff it just has not felt like halloween #i havent had any ideas/energy/time for any halloweeny art #+chores n errands etc lmao we havent even been to the grocery store yet (calling us out here) #it just. suuuuucks aaaaaass man the world is so beautiful life is a gift i dont wanna spend it like this

[all-thestories-aretrue]

How am I just now finding out about the colour of revenge??? I haven't particularly kept up with Cornelia Funke, but I do search her every 6 months or so. But HOLY SHIT ANOTHER INKWORLD BOOK IM FREAKING OUT.

I also found those GORGEOUS STUNNING BEAUTIFUL 20th anniversary editions and I must admit I am trying very hard to not spend an obscene amount of money on a copy.

#inkheart #inkworld #these books fundamentally shaped who i am as a person #like without a doubt #ive been thinking about doing a reread actually but ive never reread more than just inkheart and honestly #idk if i can emotionally handle inkspell and inkdeath #asking for a friend is it possible to learn german in two months #the friend is me #how am i suppose to wait another year maybe more???? #i will admit i didnt keep up with funke because after the first mirrorworld book or maybe the second i feel like #she just dropped off i couldnt find publishing dates plans to continue the series or anything #and i NEVER in a million years thought there would be another inkworld book #the wildest dreams of 6th grade me are coming true #but i do wonder how much of the lack of information i had was bcuz i am not germany and dont speak german

[sakebytheriver]

When someone ends a friendship with you and they clearly think you're the toxic one and they were the innocent that never did anything wrong, while you were the bitch that had to constantly over apologize for the smallest thing or else they'd end the friendship and the way they end it is through one text message where they hit you with a 'im done with second chances' whereas you ate so much shit with a grin on your face and the concept of 'chances' in friendships in general never occurred to you and now as you go back over the friendship you realize how onesided everything was and how much work you put in to receive absolutely nothing back and how you got so lost in the toxicity of it all and just how bad a friend they actually were and now you regret saying you'd 'fight for this friendship' because ultimately they were not your friend the same way you were theirs 🙃

#ignore me #personal #five years of friendship ended in one text message #and now as i go over everything #im like wow #what a bad friend #insecure immature child who could never accept a dollop of blame and could never have a confrontation face to face #like the longer i look at it the more exhausted i feel #ive felt for months like i was waiting for this moment #like she was just waiting for me to screw up so she could hit me with that fucking 'im done with second chances' #like fuck you bro #do you know how 'second chances' i had to give you without ever once brining it up to you #chronic insecurity mixed with her inability to handle confrontation and any kind of negative emotion #meant i had to be perfect or else i would get cut off #the way i told my therapist about it and she was like friendship shouldnt feel like youre on probation #and i was like omg thats exactly what it was #i was on probation for fucking months and i couldnt be a human being and mess up or else shed be ready to end everything #like i really did feel so on edge and like i had to walk on eggshells with her #and its like weve known each other for 5 years #it shouldnt feel like this #and shes going to go through her life thinking that i was the problem and that it was me who was the toxic one who couldnt change enough to #be her firend which is just the most frustrating part of it all #like im not a petty enough person to go and text her all of my grievances and make her feel like shit for how she did me dirty #but if i could go back in time i wouldnt say i wish i could change her mind #id tell her that i worked so hard to be perfect for her and she never once put in the same effort for me and that im sorry i wasted so much #of my life on trying to be her friend when it was obvious she didnt want to try and be mine

[0tul1ss]

.

#mannn i literally assumed he ghosted-- why on earth would he text me after so long???? #i was fully like 'ok the last msg i sent literally makes me cringe a bit to read but its been months so ig im never opening the convo again #it was simpler before when there felt like there was nothing else to do and easier to move on. i even had a little crush on someone else ! #now i have a whole wheel of decisions to choose from #and idek what i truly want from this guy anymore bc even just platonically he kinda fucked it up like. idk #or rather i want a lot of different things and idk what to choose #i want my friend back. i want to never see him again. i want him to know every truth of what ive felt and i want him to know none of it #i want him to miss me or maybe wonder about me sometimes down the line. i want him to not spare me another thought for the rest of his life #i want to reply only 'go fuck yourself' and i want to write him a letter and i want to ghost him better than he ghosted me #i want to tell him i love him and i want to tell him i hate him and i want to say nothing at all #i want the closure i was denied. i want to protect the closure i now have #<-going insane #anyway its soooo stupid like i already grieved for this shit bro. i accepted the end of this years long close friendship #anyway idk why im doing so much processing of this in a vent post nor do i know why i always feel compelled to post these when i do #good thing i keep a small presence on here lol. but yea uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh send post #ok wait i saved this as a draft and went to go look for what i had been tagging vent posts with #[couldnt find one i had been using consistently even tho the whole point is so ppl can blacklist it if they want whoops!!] #and i saw another vent from another time he just kinda disappeared on me #and while this time was a lot worse for a lot of reasons i think its important to say this-- #that the last thing that i want is to go back to square one of this stupid awful cycle #vent

[1ovestay]

im literally so pissed dream are coming to north america 2 weeks before i get there like cmon guys u couldnt have waited til may

#ive gone thru the logistics of changing my whole trip to canada to see if me n my gf could make the seattle show and well. #lets just say ive emailed my manager abt extending my leave......... #was meant to be leaving may 1st but now probably gonna leave apr 19 #the way im taking 2months of work missing my dads my brothers and my 2 best friends birthdays for this and spending over 3k. yeah im normal #my original flights were 2.5k so its not gonna be that much more but still. just waiting for approval eeeeeee PLEASE #also the way i spent like 6 months of last year being like ok dream u can drop some tour dates now so i can plan a trip around them #and yet sm drops them like 2 fucking months before. u cunts. ITS TOO SOOOOON #also the way i was like well if they dont come to canada when im there in may ill just see them in singapore #but tehyre going to sg in MAYYYYYYYY like be serious #praying this works out or im gonna be SICK #p

[samwisefamgee]

god wants me to kill myself sooooo fucking bad lately lol nice try bitch im queer

#you dont even fuxking know #the number of. literally impossible coincidences that have taken place to make my life just so much shittier lately #i have been sooo strong ive written like two dozen text posts just bitching and bitching about the sheer fuxking insanity of it and i only #posted like one of them im doing so good being so strong #that said i want to fucking die today lol this shit is melting my brain #it just never ends #the past two weeks have just been... so bad lol #i havent been able to see my bank balance in weeks i just know im so in the fucking hole it doesnt even matter #i havent had a working phone in a month #my family just vacationed in hawaii and im living in a moldy trailer #and the physical and mental health just go and go and go #and the mold grows and groes and grows #my friend offered me a top of the line pc for free and it felt like offering a homeless guy who loves music a grand piano #like yeah lemme just keep that under the bridge downtown where i stay lol #itll be fine #its like all the nice things id love to experience are dangled just out of reach of my fuckin cell bars lol #might fuck around and get addicted to a third substance in light of hope being a fool's errand in a truly random universe #life isnt guarunteed to get better no matter how long you wait or how hard you try actually and that is a hard fucking truth for everyone #alcohol is free and can keep your mind off how much mold & dust you breathe daily & breathed in the past 2 years & thats also a hard truth #also reading this i need to clarify in case anyone else reads this shitsheet. i do not want to vacation in hawaii. colonizer shit #what i wouldnt fucking do for just a week up by priest lake tho :(

[mejomonster]

Dumb brain again was like "search how to meet people to date on apps" because I'm not good at it even remotely anymore

But every time I go down that rabbit hole I just read 20 conflicting romance advice articles til my brain fries and I feel hopeless cause there's no way to actually do all that conflicting advice if I tried

#rant #ToT #i follow tje normal chill realistic advice lol #but yeah romance adbice articles give me stress #anyway im on yesr idk 3 or 4 of tens of thousands of matches and no dates #i get its slightly harder cause i wanna wither a. make friends or b. pursue potential for love #and i know a number of ppl use apps for hookups or quick compliments or an additional relationship #so like. idk often short term so tjey dont want a friend Or love #but like. this many people? i feel at this point im describing myself in a useless way or somrthing #i tried messahing first i tried waiting for ppl to message #i even tried liking everyone not horrifixally toxic just to meet anyone in case tjey knew ppl id like lskdkdk #and that got one single date with a poly person witj a love who had nothing in common with me so we didnt even end up friends #and one very hot very dumb himbo who didnt realize i was askinv him on a date until hed left the country :/ #and of course tje type i Used to Attract: ppl who say they like or love ne and waste months or years before #voing Psych no i didnt lol i jusg was using u until i liked someone for Real #:/:/:/ #and no pleasr dont tell me to meet ppl in person doing tjings i like #i do things i like a ton and ive met many FRIENDS. not a single romantic prospect. #for half a decade. im good at meeting friends. not potential dates #and im demiromantic too lol so i need to date potential ppl for like 2-3 months before i even knoe if i could fall for em #but like. friend wise i met aromantic ppl and ppl in relationships and ppl i just know i definitely #wont be able yo crush on/didnt get crushes on after months. so like. online or app datjng is #about the highesr volume potential ppl to meet i can think of at this point #thw universe just likes me brutally single i guess #but i miss banging and holding hands and crushing and flirting dang

[floorpancakes]

happy valentine's day i don't have anything prepared rn but i am making heart chocolate cookies and some art so i might show them later for now just take this reminder

#theyre not having sex for valentines day so somebody has to in their stead #i wanted to treat myself to shortcake and a fancy meal but im actually going out to see kaguya sama movie tomorrow #and i need the money to treat myself then #japanese food... chocolate ice dessert ....pita gyros....choco frappe....maybe a vintage item or two #those are my plans #i guess its belated valentines plans? #i cant meet my friends cause something came up but i have money next month so ill be ok then hopefully #anyway #happy gaylentines #yaoimas (february edition) #cant wait for yurite day next month #valentines is my favourite season cause everyone makes everything chocolate and melty and i love grand romantic gestures #ive never been in a relationship but hopefully one day #when i get out of shoptanuki era #but yeah #i #yeah #happy valentine's 2007inators #hopefully i can celebrate and treat my friends to something neat next year