#and it would have been fecking funny

[buildoblivionthenwewilltalk]

i’ve been trying to figure out where I’d put the fnaf markiplier cameo (forever in our hearts) and I’ve decided he definitely should have been the fucker who gets rekt by bonnie in the supply closet

#fnaf movie spoilers #like ideal world he’d be getting chomped but they saved the goriest death for babysit lady for plot reasons - fine #but he’d have had fun being an asshole smashing the place up #and it would have been fecking funny #also that scene was a great fan moment because as soon as he went in I was like OH SHIT BONNIES GONNA GET YA #THATS HIS CONDO #five nights at Freddy’s #fnaf spoilers #fnaf #fnaf movie #spoilers #markiplier #mark fischbach

[planetsstarsandmoons]

My thoughts on some synastry aspects, from experience:

Moon conjunct lilith: i always have this fecking placement with almost every guy 😂 and I’m always lilith (the woman). These people (moon) will physically come to you. You won’t have to walk past them or shuffle to their way, just lock eyes with them from however far you are standing for however long, and they will literally walk towards you and start ~being there~ and make genuinely interested conversation with you. For some reason, the shyness of moon falls away in this placement, especially in the beginning when they haven’t fully realised their feelings yet or haven’t assessed how lilith feels about it, who they start instinctively fearing after a while when that natural moon shyness and reservedness and self-protective side starts coming back. Then it’s up to lilith to decide if they want to seduce moon, because for some reason, that then becomes their task! Lilith becomes like venus except they’re not venus, they’re dark moon lilith which basically makes them an intuitive dumpster fire who would ‘top’ moon, but only because they are edgy and have serious issues (i mean, it’s lilith). There is an obsessive side to this aspect, but it comes out in different ways.

Venus conjunct moon: I was 2/4 of the times the moon person in this dynamic (platonic and romantic). In this aspect, my ideal romantic dream of these people was always just for venus to spend time with me and pay attention to me. Even when we were not together yet, whenever I was with them I always felt so emotionally taken care of. When I was venus myself, all I wanted to do was for moon to want that! Treating moon like a special person and nurturing them with affection came completely natural to me, like creating that spark. That’s what this aspect is really about. My venus was simply conjuncting their moon! And theirs mine. This aspect is lying on the ground, watching clouds together. The ‘peak’ moments in this relationship so to speak are typically when holding each other, when moon can feel special to venus person and when venus can ‘feel’ moon person. To me, this constantly felt like one of the soulmate aspects. It’s funny how in this aspect typically, the venus person starts liking the moon person from afar and the moon person starts liking venus after being (physically(!)) close to them and interacting.

Sun conjunct venus: this, imo, is the mr and mrs Addams aspect. This aspect is hot in a mental way because it creates adoration towards something most people except your well aspecting friends would find ‘eh’ or ‘oh alright’ or ‘ew i hate!’ , namely your ego. Meanwhile venus is all ready for YOU, your core. I’ve been both venus and sun here. It creates the ‘how so? I like him’ vibe. The fact that there’s such natural formal passion between you two is the thing that continues to save the relationship all the time. It’s the basic goodness. In the old awkward English courting days, this was probably one of the most important aspects to look for, because back then what people had to do was think 1. Do I like this person 2. Could/do I ~love~ this person 3. Is it nice? All in a very short time like a few months! And with this aspect, all the answers are yes and it makes it easy in the sense that there’s both harmony and excitement. I had this aspect in scorpio most of the time, so what I experienced was a great compatible levelling about the fact that were both intense and crazy, and that was alright, soothing even. From venus there’s a feeling of admiration towards the sun, and the sun regardless of wether they have relationship, wants venus’s affection like they would typically show it. The fact that people say this aspect is overrated, baffles me. This is by far the most potent aspect for a romantic love connection.

Pluto square moon: unfortunately I have this aspect with every person from my age, as my moon is in pisces. Why are these people so rude and aggressive for no reason? And why are they bothered in a way that shows that, in a way, they ‘deeply’ care? And why do I find it hot??? I am doomed to have these weird and intense qualities in my friendships and relationships 😭

Ascendant conjunct mars/venus: I always have someone’s ascendant widely aspecting both my mars and venus. The attraction is absolutely there and the elephant in the room for you so to speak, but it’s superficial as well. You love this person’s personhood, but if they get a bad haircut you are completely turned off. With this aspect I often fantasised about showing this person off to my friends lol. They especially see the version of you that’s suave and tasteful, and it may put doubts in their head that you only like them because you think they’re hot, especially if the venus/mars is a woman. When men’s whose venus or mars conjunct my ascendant flirt with me I tend to feel like ‘right. it’s because you happen to find me hot’, but in a relationship this can be very favourable. The venus feels personally decorated by the ascendant person, so in turns tries to personally decorate the ascendant person with all of their venus~.

Lilith conjunct ascendant: if you’re the woman and you’re ascendant, lilith is going to be sooo mad at you all the time. Why? Fuck knows. But you are living in their mind and that’s endearing, somewhat. Also a bit dark.

Venus 8th house overlay: I just think 8th house overlay is neat. This aspect gets a bad reputation which I don’t really understand. If you’re both mature individuals, you’ll see that you shouldn’t mistake your intensity for bad tension, and that you can use this depth to have a fullfilling, transformative relationship. All relationships are supposed to be karmic! They are there to feed your soul, and I feel like 8th house synastry feeds my soul (on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do I sound like a scorpio?). There are bad sides to venus 8th house overlay, too, of course. The courting phase can be annoying when two people actually dislike each other but can’t help be drawn to each other in a way that’s near impossible to not be romantic. It can create very weird sort of boy-girl friendships. The venus person enjoys being in the presence of 8th house person, because they give them something to want and to root for, for themselves. They’re often erotically drawn to the 8th house person. The 8th house person feels the effect the venus person has on them intensely and subconsciously ‘claims’ them. Somehow these are two pieces of a puzzle that fit. I always think of two fashionista creative minds coming together when I think of this aspect.

#synastry #astrology synastry #astrology signs #zodiac #astrology #synastry aspects #synastry astrology #synastry chart #zodiac memes #free chart report #astrology love #astrology compatibility #astrology couple #black moon lilith #lilith aesthetic #ascendant aspects #pisces venus #venus #moon astrology #moon aspects #moon synastry #mars aspects #mars synastry #astrology notes #chiron synastry

[babybluebex]

𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐌𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄 | 𝐬𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 | even though you can’t afford to break rules, you manage to with your own asset, the nerdy genius that created the zephyr. 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | simon feck (knight and day, 2010) x fem!reader 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 | smut— handjob, loss of virginity, sub!simon, slight dom!reader, mommy kink 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | WHY IS THERE NO CONTENT FOR OUR NERDY BABY SIMON IM MAD ANYWAY HAVE THIS | follow @cremebruhleewrites to be notified when i post a new story!

You had one objective for the night, only one thing that Roy had told you to do: keep an eye on Simon. Make sure he stays in the hotel room. He could do whatever he wanted, but he needed to stay there. It was similar to how Roy was supposed to watch June; “Just make sure he stays safe,” Roy had told you. 

You stood next to Roy as he explained to Simon the situation, and as he gave the younger man a pin that said Hall & Oates. Wherever Roy had procured that pin in Salzburg, Austria was beyond you, but your boss and trainer often seemed to do impossible things. He had only briefly told you about Simon— how he was the genius who created the Zephyr, how he was just out of high school and smarter than any scientist employed by the government today. 

You had expected a scrawny, lanky kid that had nothing going for him. Instead, you met Simon Feck. Six feet tall, ginger hair hanging at his shoulders, wire glasses perched on a pert nose, with the most pathetic excuse for a mustache and goatee you had ever seen on a man. Simon had been quick to try to rectify some of the information that Roy had given you. “I’m 21,” he told you on the train, over the sound of the hydraulics pumping. “I don’t know why Roy said I was just out of high school. And I’m not as smart as he says. I-I did come up with the battery, that wasn’t a lie, but I’m not Einstein or whatever.”

On the train, you and Simon had gotten along. He had a small iPod stashed in his pocket and, once he was finished with gawking and admiring the train and speaking to the conductor in clipped German, you sat with him and, sharing his earbuds, listened to music with him. He was funny when a song he liked would come on, he’d bob his head and mouth the words, and it made you smile. Then, as always, June’s presence seemed to fuck everything up, and suddenly your own presence made sense. Roy was the muscle, and you secured the asset. 

But the hotel was calm, and there wasn’t a lot to do. Sitting in Simon’s room wasn’t very eventful; he sat on one end, reading and listening to his iPod (Hall & Oates, no doubt), and you sat at the other end, trying to watch television but actually watching him. It was dull, truth be told, and you sighed. You had left a little space between you and Simon, just in case he didn’t like you sitting too close, and he looked up from his book. His cheeks were just a little pink, almost like he had been outside and gotten a little sunburn, and he said, “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” you told him. “Don’t worry about me. What’re you listening to?” 

Simon grappled with his book to retrieve his iPod, and he clicked the screen on. “Hall & Oates,” he said simply. 

“I figured as much,” you giggled, reaching out and playing with the pin on his shirt. “What song?”

Simon smiled softly as he looked down at where you were messing with his shirt, and he said, “Do you like Hall & Oates?” 

“Not as much as you do,” you told him, and you let your hand drop off and into your own lap. “But I know the big songs. Maneater, Rich Girl, Out of Touch, you know.” 

“You’re Making My Dreams Come True,” Simon told you. “I-It’s one of my favorites.” 

“That’s a good one,” you said, and you folded your legs up underneath yourself as you got comfortable. “Do you like all 80s music, or just Hall & Oates?” 

“Just Hall & Oates,” Simon chuckled. “Since high school. I’d be in my little lab, working on the Zephyr, listening only to them. It makes me feel safe, y’know? My mom listened to them a lot.” 

“I get that,” you told him. “I’m the same way with Elton John. It’s just comforting to me.” 

Simon nodded, and he pulled out one of his earbuds and offered it to you. Just like on the train, you moved close to him to listen, but something felt weird. It didn’t feel like the train anymore. Maybe because you were alone now, the energy felt different. Your thigh touched his with the proximity, and you watched his hand come down onto your thigh gently, almost as if he didn’t realize what he had done. That was the final straw for you, and you whispered, “Hey, Si?” 

Simon looked at you, silently prompting you to speak, and you pulled the earbud out hastily. You couldn’t. Roy could sleep with June all he wanted because he was Roy and he operated under a different code than you did. You could not do that with Simon. The heat in the bottom of your stomach betrayed you, though, and you couldn’t help but sigh. “I need to go,” you mumbled, but, before you could properly get up to leave, Simon grabbed your hand. 

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked. “You were fine a second ago.” 

“Yeah, I was,” you started. You couldn’t tell him that you had to leave because he turned you on. The smell of his soap was enough to trigger it, and you stepped back, away from him. “I-It’s not you, Si, I just, paperwork, y’know? Government entities run on paperwork.” 

Simon watched you with his big eyes, examining you, and he said, “I did something wrong.”

“No!” you told him quickly. “Simon, you did nothing wrong, believe me. Please don’t think you did. This has nothing to do with you.” 

“Is it because I touched your leg?” Simon asked. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to—”

“No, no,” you said quickly. You sighed, your chest heaving with it, and you looked at the door, where you had last seen Roy before he left. “Okay, it kinda was that, but not how you think it is. I… Simon, you’re just really attractive, y’know that?”

He looked surprised to hear you say that, his eyes widening and his eyebrows raising, and he shook his head quickly. “Don’t be mean,” he mumbled, and you sat back down, squeezing his hand.

“I’m not,” you insisted. “Simon, c’mon. Your big green eyes and your smile, you’re just so cute. I kinda… My heart races when I see you.”

“Really?” Simon asked. He looked down at his lap, and, mumbling, he added, “People in high school used to…”

You frowned. “I’m sorry, Simon,” you told him gently. “That sucks. People kinda suck in general. I was teased a lot in high school too.” 

“Most people have their first kiss by 17,” Simon told you, and he pushed up his glasses. He seemed to have a habit of fiddling with his glasses whenever he was nervous. “And here I am, I’m 21, and I doubt it when a girl calls me pretty. It’s just… It sucks so bad, being hurt like that, y’know?”

“I know,” you told him. “I’m sorry, that really does suck a lot. I-I wasn’t teased like that, but… Fuck them. You’re better than they’ll ever be, okay? You’re a bigger man than them.”

“A bigger man,” Simon repeated. “That all means so much, thank you. But I can’t help but feel just so inadequate. You know what I mean? It feels like nobody wants me, and that shouldn’t hurt so much, but it does. It hurts really bad.”

You shrugged, squeezing his hand again. “”I think you’re handsome, Simon,” you told him. “I think you’re adorable, actually.”

“You’re just saying that,” Simon said, and you watched a flush come over his cheeks, accentuating the tiny freckles he had on his face.

“I promise I’m not,” you said quickly. “In fact, I’d really like it if I could kiss you… Can I?”

“You…” Simon began, his flush glowing deeper in his cheeks. “I’ve never—”

“I know, baby,” you told him. You gently smoothed his wild hair out of his face, and you watched his bottom lip tremble in anticipation. “That’s why I asked.”

Simon readjusted his weight on the sofa, and he shyly mumbled, “I… I really like when you call me that.” 

“What?” you asked. “Baby?” Simon nodded, and you smiled sweetly at him. You had figured that he was a virgin, but his blush made it all the more obvious that he hadn’t ever felt the touch of a woman. “Aw, you’re cute. Can I kiss you, baby?” 

Simon nodded quickly, his shy nature keeping him quiet and mellow, and you quickly moved closer to him. Your thighs touched again, and his hand landed on your leg once more, and that fire returned to your belly. It was stronger than before, now knowing everything you did about Simon, and suddenly a different fire emerged. You wanted to ruin this poor man. You wanted to help him explore and discover himself. You needed to. You carefully leaned into him and touched his burning cheek, and you gently pressed your lips to the corner of his mouth. You heard his beautiful gasp as his breath caught in his throat, and he whimpered, actually whimpered at you. “Please…” he whispered. 

“Please what, baby?” you asked. “Use your words.” 

Simon seemed flustered, and you almost worried that you had taken things one step too far, but he finally sighed, almost lovingly simple and soft. “Please kiss me,” he whimpered. “Please.”

You couldn’t help but oblige his begging, and you finally pressed your mouth to his. He was soft, and he sighed as you kissed him, and it made your heart melt. Your hand on his cheek titled his head a little so you could better kiss him, and Simon made a soft sound as he finally kissed back. It was obvious he didn’t really know what he was doing, but his inexperience was cute. His hands twitched next to his body, and you smiled into the kiss before breaking it. “You can touch me, if you want,” you told him. 

“O-Okay,” Simon said, and he pushed his glasses up his nose. “Umm, actually, can we… Can we stop?”

Your heart sank, and you quickly shifted away from him. “Of course,” you told him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable—”

“Oh, no, you didn’t,” Simon told you. “I-I just…” 

“What’s wrong?” you asked. “Are you okay?” 

Simon swallowed thickly, and he mumbled, “I-I’m just…” He paused and his blush grew deep, creeping into his ears and neck, and he added, “I-It’ll go away in a minute, I’m sorry.”

“What will go away?” you asked. “Si, if you don’t want to kiss me, that’s okay.”

“No, I do!” Simon groaned. “Y-You just can’t make fun of me, alright?” 

“I would never,” you told him, and Simon wordlessly took your hand and settled it on his pants. It took you a moment to understand what he meant, but then you felt him through his jeans. “Oh, Si. Are you hard?” 

“I-I said it’ll go away in a minute,” Simon stammered.

You chewed your lip for a moment as you thought. You definitely wanted to be able to help him, and he seemed like he would be open to the idea. “I could help you,” you offered. “If you’d like that?”

“Help me?” Simon echoed. “Y-You’d want to touch me?”

“Yes, of course,” you told him. “You’ve masturbated and stuff before, right?” Simon nodded, adjusting his glasses again, and you leaned forward and kissed him again. “Have you ever cum?”

“No,” Simon told you. "I could never make myself..."

“Oh, my poor baby,” you said gently, kissing him once more. “I’ll help you cum, if you’d like.”

“Yes,” Simon said, choking out his answer through a thick throat. “Yes, please, t-touch me.”

You took his hand and led him from the sofa over the large hotel bed, and you sat down first, kicking off your shoes and taking off your trousers and shirt. You figured he would be greedy for the feel of your skin, and you pulled him close to you and kissed him. You edged a little closer to him, pressing your chest to his, and you took his hands and settled them on your hips. “If you want me to stop, just tell me,” you said, and Simon nodded. “I’m gonna lay back and you’re gonna put your back on my chest, okay?”

His skin was warm against yours as he settled himself between your legs, and you took care to remove his glasses from his thin nose and set them on the table next to the bed. You softly blew on your hands, trying to warm them up for him, and you lightly reached around and touched his chest. Despite your gentle and slow movements, he still jumped, and you shushed him softly. “I know, baby,” you whispered. “Tell me to stop and I will.” 

“Don’t stop,” Simon said, his voice a little higher than before. “Please don’t.” 

“I won’t,” you told him. Your fingers itched in his shirt, tugging it up a little high to expose the happy trail of thin hairs on his belly, leading down to where his hard cock strained at his jeans. Carefully, you helped him tug his shirt over his head, and you kissed the side of his face as you discarded his shirt. He was incredibly thin, his chest pale with just the sparsest hair speckling his skin, and you gently smoothed your hand down his chest to his jeans. He sighed heavily, almost like he was comforting himself, and you kissed the side of his head again. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” you whispered, and Simon shook his head quickly. 

“I want to,” he said. “I-I’m just nervous.”

“That’s alright,” you said. “I’ll be good to you.” You were quick to undo his jeans, and you snaked your hand inside his pants and down past his boxers to feel the burning skin of his cock, so impossibly hard. You sweetly kissed the side of his face as you withdrew your hand, and you pushed at his pants, trying to move them as far down as you could.

Simon got the message, thankfully, and he shoved his pants down his legs, kicking them off hastily. He seemed eager, and it eased you to know that he did really want this. Your hand lifted to his cheek, and you turned his head to look at you as you sealed your lips together again. Simon moaned softly, deep in his chest, and his hands lifted as he turned slightly to face you better. You expected him to go for your face, just how your hands were, but he quickly pawed at your tits instead. 

“C-Can I?” Simon asked, and you smiled. 

“Yes, baby, you can,” you told him, and Simon turned fully around and settled himself just above your tits, and his fingers worked to push your bra down. You went to help him, but he did it fully by himself, and his mouth attached to your nipple in an instant. You gasped in shock, but you still writhed beneath him when he sucked hard. “Oh my God, Si…Yes, baby, just like that. Do you still want me to touch you?” 

Simon grunted softly, nodding as he sucked at you, and you licked your palm before lowering your hand down to his cock again. This time, you wrapped your hand fully around him and slowly started to stroke him, and Simon’s mouth faltered around your nipple as he moaned.

“Good boy,” you whispered, smoothing his hair out of his face. Each stroke of his cock made Simon moan and buck his hips up into your fist, and you loved seeing the flush in his cheeks draw down onto his chest. “Here, baby, turn around,” you told him, and Simon gave a high whine when you tried to pull him away from your tits. “I know, baby, but I’ll be able to touch you easier if you turn around.” 

You almost didn’t hear what your baby said in response, something muffled against your tit, and you smirked when you finally understood it. “Say that again, baby,” you told him. “Because it sounded like you called me Mommy.” 

“M’sorry,” Simon said quickly. “I-I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s okay, baby, don’t worry,” you told him quickly. “I liked it. Call me that again.” 

Simon nodded quickly, and you swiped your thumb across the sensitive head of his cock to elicit a sound from him. Thankfully, he did as you wanted, and his words came in a mumble as he keened back against you: “Mommy, please…” 

“I will, sweet boy,” you told him, kissing his cheek. “Stop squirming, baby, let Mommy touch you all nice.” Your hand quickened on his cock, moving just a little faster, and Simon’s head fell back onto your shoulder as he moaned again. His hands were twitching by his sides, obviously wanting to touch you somehow, and your free hand reached down to take his. Your poor boy already looked close to cumming, what with the way that his hips bucked up to meet your hand with every stroke you gave him, and you squeezed his hand. “Are you getting close, baby?” 

“Yes,” Simon whined. “A-Are you gonna—”

“Just warn me before you cum, baby,” you told him, soothing whatever anxiety he had, and Simon nodded quickly. “You’re being so good for Mommy, such a good boy…” 

“This,” Simon started, and he moaned as your thumb smoothed over the head of his cock again. “Th-This isn’t how I thought this night would go.” 

“Me too, honey,” you told him. “But I like the way it’s turning out, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Simon laughed, and you let go of his hand to turn his face so that you could kiss him. His mouth was warm, already used to the feel of yours, and, as he kissed you, you could feel his cock twitch in your hand. “Mommy,” he mumbled. “I-I think I’m gonna cum.” 

“That’s it,” you told him. “Turn around, baby, I’ll let you suck my tits while you cum.” 

“Can I…” Simon began as he hastily turned back around to face you, his eyes zeroing in on your tits. “Can I cum on them?” 

You smiled at his boldness to even ask, and you reached behind yourself to undo your bra, and you tossed it across the room. “Be my guest, baby,” you told him, and you dragged him down into a kiss. He was open for you, your tongue pushing into his mouth in an instant, and he moaned into you as his own hand started on himself. 

“I’ve done this plenty,” Simon chuckled as he broke the kiss, and you giggled at him. “Never thought I’d do it with a pretty girl, especially one who saved my life earlier.” 

“You’re welcome for that, by the way,” you told him, and Simon smiled as one of his ginger waves fell into his eyes. “Your hair just won’t stay back, will it? Got a mind of its own.”

“You should see it in the morning,” Simon told you. “It’s all flat and it’s everywhere, it’s not good.”

“Maybe I will,” you said, and Simon’s eyes all but sparkled as he took in your words. 

“Y-You’ll stay?” he asked, and you nodded. He huffed out a pant as he neared his finish, and he said, “Cool. I’d like that.” 

“Good,” you said. “You gonna cum, baby?”

“Yeah,” Simon nodded. “And you promise you’re okay with…?”

“Yes, baby,” you told him, and you dragged him down into another kiss. “Please, Simon, I want it.” 

“A-And what would that be?” Simon asked, and you laughed. 

“Trying to be a little dominant,” you mused, and the blush in Simon’s cheeks grew deeper as he laughed with you. “Alright, we can try that.”

“Use your words,” Simon said, more of a caricature of dominance than actuality. “What do you want?”

The way that the same words had previously come out of your mouth made you laugh, and Simon smiled. “Cum on my tits, Simon. Please, baby, that’s all I want.”

“Good,” Simon mumbled, and his fist worked faster, hurrying to cum. “I-I’m… Fuck.” 

“Oh, you’re cursing now?” you laughed. “What happened to my sweet boy?” 

“Call me that again,” Simon said, his voice high with a whine, and you watched his legs and thighs jerk as he grew closer and closer. 

“My boy,” you told him. “Are you my boy, baby?” 

“Wanna be your boy,” Simon mumbled. “Wanna be your boy so bad.”

“You can be my boy,” you said. “If Roy gets to be with June, we can be together.” Fuck your code, you decided. If Roy could do it and not receive repercussions, then you could too.

“Yeah,” Simon whispered. “Oh, fuck, Mommy…” With one more tug on his cock, Simon’s mouth fell open and his eyes squeezed shut as he came. His cum spurted out in thick ribbons, landing on your chest, and the flush in his cheeks grew deeper still as he moaned. His breathing hitched in his chest as he gave you his release, and he finally fell down on top of you, exhausted and spent. You couldn’t help but smile in his mess of hair, and you kissed his temple. 

“Good boy,” you told him. “You’re my best boy, Si.” 

“Thank you, Mommy.” 

You were thankful that you and Simon were quick to shower and redress because, not even an hour later, Roy came into the room unannounced. Simon had fallen asleep in bed after his shower, wearing just his boxers and little white wife pleaser, and you had settled yourself back on the sofa, where everything started. 

“Anything eventful happen while I was gone?” Roy asked.

You shrugged, looking from the television to where Simon slept. “Nothing,” you told him. 

“What did you do?” Roy asked, sitting next to you. 

“Oh, you know,” you started, and laughed. “We fucked.”

Roy rolled his eyes. “Whatever, you’re making fun of me, I see it,” he said. 

Then, from across the room, you heard the high whine of your best boy, and your body froze as he spoke: “Come back to bed, Mommy, m’cold.” 

#simon feck x reader #simon feck #simon feck smut #paul dano x reader #paul dano smut #simon feck x y/n #simon feck x you #paul dano x y/n #paul dano x you #knight and day 2010

[julie-su]

You're beautiful because you will excitedly offer to elaborate on echidna lore, then post a rant about how bad it can get. Then post thick cheeks of some hot echidna daddy. Rollercoaster of love for your echidnas.

Oh, god, yeah. I love and hate it, hence why our fancomic is a love letter to the better parts, and, uh... >_> sidesteps anything that could possibly be insensitive.

Seriously, we've been trying to work out what's going on with the moebian dark legion - not for the comic, just for fun - Demon Island lays underwater, so surely, you'd put the Legion underwater, too... ... I have reservations about putting the themed DL in submersibles, lest we bring up images of u-boats. Do you see how easy it is to have a little internal retrospection and think 'hummm, this is reeeaaallly poor-taste' ..? ... And also, how hard it can be, sometimes, to do just about anything with the cards played. The DL is easier to work with, but untangling the dingoes is a nightmare* --Ian's got chops for diving into Dimitri's debacle head-first, but, it was worth doing - I really enjoyed that part of the book~

*I .. Like to make it that RTAI didn't happen in the zone that our comic takes place in. It's oft fun to play around with post-RTAI, but it does upset me that most of the echidnas died. Badly. I try not to get upset about it, I'm bigger than that, but Simon and Floren-Ca getting a background death, OVERSHADOWED BY BIMMY, and Ju-Su not even getting to have a moment to think about her surrogate parents, who she's been LIVING WITH, it just feels like a huge bolt of wasted potential - especially now in hindsight, when so much has been done by other writers on the series to actually go back and flesh out the unfulfilled plotpoints K.P loved to put down and forget about.

...Bimmy's death being at the forefront and obscuring Simon's death is VERY funny, but I can't also help but feel so sad that we never got to explore what could have been a wealth of character development and insight for Julie-Su. I just wonder, had they survived, would they have gotten the full treatment that, say, Jani-Ca, Lien-Da, Dimitri all got? ... And then, I turn my frustratedness away from rants, and into 'okay, what if they DID survive? or, what would I make Julie-Su react like, when she realises specifically that, oh, she's got no parents again, oh shite'

-- Do you think it's more fun if she didn't really settle with them, and now feels a sense of remourse that she never gave the time of day to this couple who obviously loved her, who doted over her? Do you think it stings harder if she loved them, or whether she didn't see how good she had it until suddenly her only family left is her homicidal sister, and this man who she barely even knows other than that he, too, ruined her life, and suddenly he wants to be a good guy.

...

Oh, feck, I did it again, didn't I?! Wait, wait, we haven't posted 'thick cheeks' yet. Will you take Echidna Ben Shapiro Sojourner's oddly pronounced hips?

NOW we've done it all!

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

Hi Kali! Hope you don't mind me asking this. I was wondering how did you first get into watching Thai bl shows?

well helllo dear nonny,

that is infact a good question...like i started watching way after the big quarantine hit. For feck sake my first thai bl that i watched was kinnporsche 🤡🧍‍♂️

But i saw thai bl on my dash way before, when i was in different fandoms at the time. But i DEF saw gifsets or posts of shows that i now have watched and i love to pieces now. ...it would have been a post about TT?? ...and how it's not okay what is happening in it? (tbh i have no clue) 🤔

then later i think it was a post about a tale of a thousand stars...i think it was about torfun and tian??...i went into the tag wanted to learn more about it and maybe watch it because the post look cool...but i got confused and was like "maybe kali thats not for you" 😞 But then my hyperfixation on mass effect, dragon age and the dark pictures anthology faded, scolled my dash and saw a gifset of two idiots cuffed together in the woods yelling at eachother and a dude choking another one in a bathtub filled with rose pedals and i thought to myself "kali... maybe just try it again." ...and thats how i ended up here? does it answer make sense in any way shape or form?

I am sorry nonny if this is not the answeryou were hopeing for 😭

But to squish all of this into a few words its: "I have no idea how i stumbeld into this fandom (saw one gifset) but i like it here and im gonna stay here and make funny gifs for it and make fun of every character"

#kali talks #see this is why i dont' write meta post..or anything meaningful..because it turns into this #hahahahah

[em-writes-stuff-sometimes]

Heyhihello I just wanted to wish you well! I've seen the responses to hateful asks before & been baffled as to why someone would send them in the first place so, heres hoping those unfortunately unhappy people move on to smth better, may they never have need of that mindset again. I hope you find oodles & gobs of happiness & contentment no matter what you decide to do! I've loved your works, so thank you for sharing what ya have and engaging like ya do🧡

Heres a very smol affection incase it's not your thing right now🧡

Hi, boo! Thank you so much for this. At first, I was mean back, but then I got more, lol. Found out the hard way, I guess. Now, I'm probs just gonna try and be funny in response, or maybe yeet them. I don't know. Here's hoping that this year brings LESS of that, though!

I am much, much happier now than I was! I am so happy to be back, and the writing juices are gradually flowing but flowing nonetheless! YAY! I've never not thought about my work and my love for this fandom, even in the weeks and days I was away, so I've never planned on doing away with any of this entirely. At most, I was going to just delete Tumblr off my phone and leave the blog standing, because I've put SO MUCH WORK into it and it'd suck to just throw it in the bin. I'm hoping that I'll have the first chapter of the next part out soon, but I do have some stuff to wrap up with my hardcopy books first.

I LOVE the smol affection, and I feckin LOVE that mouse. I love mice, they're adorable as FECK! Thank you so much!

#personal asks #em's ask backlog jan 2024

[booksandwords]

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann

Read time: 2 Days Rating: 5/5

The quote: "I use Tumblr, which is probably the best support system for me right now. I mean, it's a super garbage fire of discourse sometimes, but really, we all just hyper-love everyone and everything and want our ships to sail, regardless of canon or what anyone else thinks. And there'll be posts with literally thousands of notes that'll make the rounds saying things like, 'If you're Black and ace, you're valid and I love you.,' which is really nice to read when you're not expecting it. You know the saying, 'love is love,' right? I've heard it thousands of times, but I've learned it, internalized it, because of the blogs I follow on Tumblr." — Alice

I'm on an aspec binge apparently. Two of my three of most recent books feature asexuality prominently, as does my next one. Anywho this one has been on my tbr for far too long, that is the prompt it's filling on my Dymocks Reading Challenge List. Quick review because I am so backlogged on reviews right now. To start with it is worth reading, especially for ace people.

I enjoyed Let's Talk About Love is uses friendship well, in that way that friendship is so, so messy. There is perfect ignorance of asexuality and the truth of it. Or at least the truth of Alice's experience. Alice biromantic (as with Upside Down that dual label is unusual) and maybe most importantly Alice is African American. Alice is fun and funny. Her personality is perfect for this kind of story. She will make you laugh and you will feel her pain. Love interest Takumi is a lot for the reader to deal with, because we see him through Alice's eyes. We never see him objectively. That said he's my type anyway nerdy, cute and charming as hell. His reaction to Alice and her truth is while not natural almost understandable given the lack of education on asexuality in the broader community (even among young people), that lack of education is part of the point. One of the things that Claire Kann wants to improve.

If I have any complaints about Let's Talk About Love it's that the ending feels a little bit rushed. It feels kinda like a few more pages would have made for a more comfortable resolution to Alice's relationships with Feenie and Takumi. There is something about Alice's narrative style. It feels like she is talking, not to the reader, to a friend. It's written with lots of brackets adding comments. The story does ultimately leave a lot of questions about Takumi's background and especially his family though in some ways this does fit due to his reluctance to talk about them. The twins, Megumi and Mayumi, are fecking adorable though. I'm not entirely sure who the intended audience is but it does feel like it suits the aces of all ages that came to terms with their sexuality on tumblr. There are quite a few of us, many of us older, many of us learning about our sexuality through the internet because there is little to no local support or queer education in high schools.

I do still have some quotes to add. Beware most of these are from the second half of the book.

"Calm down. What happened?" "I just wanted to wear a cute costume, you know? And everything was great, but Feenie and Ryan left me and boys are awful when they're drunk and I can't even get drunk to drown my disappointed sorrows because Jesus knows it's not safe in there. And I'm just so "I just wanted to wear a cute costume, you know? And everything was great, but Feenie and Ryan left me and boys are awful when they're drunk and I can't even get drunk to drown my disappointed sorrows because Jesus knows it's not safe in there. And I'm just so mad I could spit." — This quote and the scene it comes from are so much to read. They are confronting in a way that is relatable for all women. I quite like it though. (Takumi and Alice, p.119-20)

"Can you sing? Because that sounds like something a siren would say. Warn me before you sing me to my death so your conscience can be clear." — I think that line may almost be on par with a fallen angel line for pick up lines. Though at least this is somewhat cerebral. (Takumi, p.223)

"Before, you said 'bisexual minus the sexual' but didn't add in a substitute. If you don't care about sex, what do care about?" — I like Alice's description of her sexuality. It is so simple but so accessible for those who aren't fluent in the ace world but at least know the queer basics. (Takumi, p.236)

"Sex is too much a part of everything, and I don't think it's reasonable to tell my partner I don't ever want to sleep with them and expect them to stick around. I'm not saying they wouldn't agree. I personally am not okay with asking. And I'm not saying I wouldn't want to try again someday, but I don't want them to have the expectation that I will. It has to be my choice and a lot of people don't respect that." — Alice

#asexuality #queer #book review #ktreviews #read 2022 #dymocksreadingchallenge #claire kann #let's talk about love #lets talk about love #booklr

[sam-dugesian]

An alien encounter

A: "Hi, fellow extra-terrestrials, a word?"

B: "Fellow? You look human."

A: "Nah, I'm just a parasitic worm piloting a human body."

B: "-but how would we ever be able to tell?"

[all laugh]

B: "I'm sorry, I couldn't keep it up. That was too funny."

A: "Yeah, we all know a species that can't stop destroying their own planet let alone master intergalactic space travel could never fake something good enough to be able to surpass even basic off-world scanning devices let alone master an alien language without a reference."

B: "yeah so what's the deal anyway?"

A: "yeah we request you keep at least some humans around."

B: "really? why?"

A: "well us guys have been isolated on earth so long that we've kinda adapted specifically for human bodies."

B: "oh dear."

A: "yeah so kill most of them, but leave like a few thousand for us."

B: "sure thing, we can plug their cosciousness into a simulation."

A: "lol just how wild can we get with that?"

B: "make like the next hundred years since the invasion seem like a huge cultural and technologic evolution. they're just arrogant enough to believe they could do that on theiir own."

A: "what about the invasion itself?"

B: "make them think it was just some harmless thing, but then make terrible theories about it being us, so that nobody actually believes the real events."

A: "better yet, do that but then when they find out their leader's secrets, it was really something to protect them, but it had to be kept secret via a conspiracy, so that the enemy didn't find out and put them in danger."

B: "good one."

A: "and then after all of that, make those things a thing that can leave the atmosphere, LITERAL space craft."

B: "oh my god that's hilarious. i bet they'll actually fall for that."

A: "lol these monkeys stupid as feck!"

[all laugh]

#verified facts #extra terrestrial life forms #the 2040's

[moyu-sy]

Librarian concept

Bro takes after the abSOLUTE WORST parts of those stereotypical “conservative” worldviews. Like, none of that nice “fidelity to your spouse” stuff. Social status as an order of obedience? Yeah, indubitably. Blind adherence to laws and lawmakers? Adulation is his mind. Habitual misogyny? That shit FEEDS him. It’s gonna be funny af to have the contrast between this young, well read scholar, and

But then it doesn’t make sense~~~ how are you gonna read about philosophy and living at every le

OH FECK ohoho, bro’s entire young adult formation was behind the heavily censored walls of the iron fortress for a feckin decade, so OBVIOUSLY books would have similarly been censored! And without the guidance of a parent, he’s gonna follow the rule of “preserve all books” to be sure, but still he doesn’t have a properly

But bro was literally 10 ish when they died off qwq that’s DEFINITELY enough time to form a proper moral system :(((((

How about, bro starts off as a nice, respectful to everyone, benefit of the doubt, open minded to individual differences little lad, and under the tutorship of his mentor bro is like “oh shit everyone in this world kinda sucks” and behaviours such as overt gossip, cruelty, nepotism (lmao), selfish ego, etc. Start to take root in his young, impressionable brain.

There’s still the motivation and hate towards the queen, sure; his memories are sweetened with every passing year, he yearns for the idyllic peace of his childhood. He wants the current queen gone - she’s an imposter - and the “rightful heir” of the original bloodline (would make sense if his family has a tradition of scholar work and hence passed down some notions of genetic prestige) restored.

But I’d just say that these values more influence his behaviour than his goals (though of course both are affected in some way). Bro is a basically a snobby, uptight dingus:

- believes in law and order above practicality (gonna be SO difficult to conceptualise bc I personally am on the very opposite of this philosophical spectrum qvq) [to justify lineage nobility over systems of meritocracy, for example]

- blood prestige; believes noble / historical blood predispositions one for gentility (or gentility as defined by the nobility, anyways), raised in the “proper ways”, attuned to politics in ways that the common human is incapable of even learning

- habitual misogyny; believing the capacities of the female sex are inherently frailer than their male counterparts (honestly, he’d be baffled by trans people, but he’d see trans women to be skilfully superior to trans men, similarly on the basis of biology - is this a form of trans inclusive mis no it’s not really nvm [that video meme is so cracked and I adore it])

- adherence to laws and order; he was raised to hold great respect for the monarchy and its adherents by his family (his parents were kinda mad simps for the monarchs ngl) and he absolves any cognitive dissonance between seeing an injustice to his morality as a result of the law by perceiving the latter to be an absolute system which must not be disobeyed

The thing with this characterisation is that I hold different beliefs qwq

OOH Wait The rule and order thing can be justified as “is every defence an attack upon the court?” Salem style. Where he trusts in the inherent stability of the law and does not believe the benefits of changing it / allowing exceptions will lead to a better collective outcome?

Idk or I could just make him go the route of “non-noble people (working class, bastards, etc.) are writhing maggots clinging to the soles of calf leather boots and may be disregarded as mere inhuman creatures, whom can be pitied but not trusted in or cared for” (bestial comparisons! Would also be the root of “oh yeah study doesn’t matter for plebs bc they’ll never be able to be as smart as even the most idiotic noble”

Would justify established systems and institutions by “oh nobles made them and hence they are sacred and wiser (迪化 type thinking lmao) by association”

it would be 1) easier to determine his reactions to stimuli bc it’s such a black and white worldview, and 2) would be an amusing alternative to racist or misogynistic outcomes bc, oh, yeah no, if you discriminate on basis of phenotype or religion that’s so brain dead! The REAL WAY is to hit up their family tree and check for that blood purity ykyk?

#oc

[dduane]

Hi Diane!

The young wizards series was formative for me, and the logic and beauty of The Speech have inspired me as I design my own magic systems and worlds. I recently convinced my partner to read the books for the first time, and we have a question: are Tom and Carl a romantic couple? I always read them as such, but the way you wrote them (at least in the old print editions I have) is ambiguous enough that I suppose they could just be platonic wizard partners. Sorry if this has already been clarified elsewhere, and greetings from Minnesota!

(waving at you) Hey there!

Briefly: The men on whom Tom and Carl are based were absolutely a romantic couple: partners for several decades, and (all along the way) one of my templates for what a perfect married couple would look like.

But, since (in one of those youthful indiscretions we keep hearing about) I actually named the characters after them -- after two real people, living in a sometimes very homophobic world; a world where both of them lived, working real (quite high-end) jobs and interacting with real people -- that wasn’t a situation I was ever going to write about “in the clear”, or discuss in public... at least not while the principals were living. Some privileged information is literally that: a matter that you are privileged to be entrusted with, and which it would be both a sin and a crime to reveal.

Would it have been smarter (in retrospect) to give the characters other names? Yeah. Guilty as charged. It was my second damn novel, people. Cut me some fecking slack!  -- And may you not do something so clueless on your second book.

Anyway. Did I give them other names?  No. Because when I wrote the first book in which they appear, it never occurred to me that all that many people would see it. And because I loved my friends, and wanted to say that where it could be heard, and thought it’d make them laugh. (It did. Repeatedly. The last words Carl Romeo spoke to me while still breathing, when I was telling him about Games Wizards Play, were: “Am I in it?” The answer was predictable and involved multiple words beginning with F, and a lot of snickering. He loved his on-stage time.) ...Back in 1983, I thought the reference would play out between us (in the book) as a small affectionate gesture and swiftly be forgotten.

(helplessly amused eyeroll) Forty years later... we see it didn’t quite go that way.

Here are links to the Tumblr messages where I’ve dealt with this issue in the past. (God, this is the Tom And Carl Masterpost, isn’t it? How Tom would laugh. [Carl would probably just wander into the kitchen, vaguely threatening to make lasagna. Carl was one of the best Italian cooks you could ever hope to know.]) (I may have to add some messages to this later, as I don’t think I’ve necessarily tagged all the originals correctly.)

Relationship issues

Invasiveness?...

Afterthoughts

Not my story to tell ...

Their last home remembers them

(sigh) My desk is littered with small gifts friends have sent me over the years, and about half of those are from Tom and Carl. I miss them tremendously. Without them, the Young Wizards series wouldn’t be what it is: because Tom was exactly as he’s played in the series -- thoughtful, funny, wise, responsible, a quiet power -- and Carl equally so: empathetic, smart, strategic, pragmatic.

And they loved the hell out of each other... not platonically.  :)

(Also, something I neglected to mention: we finally see them on stage for the first time as Not Straight (well, they wake up in bed together and then run out on an intervention; you’d think that would be diagnostic of something?), more or less in real time, here. ...I think they’d have approved.)  :)

And if you want to hear Tom’s voice, damn near as I heard it one afternoon (on a different subject, years back, in their little house up on Laurel Canyon): I caught it near-perfectly here.

#Tom Swale #Carl Romeo #Tom and Carl #Young Wizards #The Tom And Carl Masterpost

[kitkatopinions]

No one strips away Penny Polendina's humanity and 'Real Girl' status in her robotic form faster than an Ironwood anti describing her as a weapon he smuggled into Vale for clearly violent purposes who is a horrible and terrifying thing that should never have been allowed in the tournament and never should've been allowed to be made in the first place. Like damn, Penny literally asked to go to a school event, and she's a naïve teen who clearly trusts too openly and might be (and later repeatedly is) targeted for how different she is, but IW antis can't think of her as anything but a tool in their quest to demonize everything he does or says, so all her agency and wants and desires and all the very valid reasons Ironwood might want to protect her and wouldn't tell even the Inner Circle about it just go flying out the window for them. Funny that Ruby's Silver Eyes are never treated the same way as Penny's robotic status, funny that no one ever boils down Ruby’s humanity to nothing more than a weapon that the people who created her brought into the world and that Qrow smuggled over a border without telling even the rest of Oz's inner circle about her being so very different.

No one strips away Penny's humanity and real girl status faster than IW antis... Except the actual show runners themselves that expected Penny fans to accept the idea that she was only ever a weapon with no agency, and rejoice that she finally became 'human' and was able to understand hugs (which she's freely and happily given before) and said out loud that dying was the only choice she'd ever chose. So... Screw that.

Penny was always just as human as Ruby and just as real, and if people could stop using her mere existence and presence in Volumes 1-3 as a gotcha about how clearly evil Ironwood was for sneaking in a terrifying weapon that was actually a student who wanted to fecking go to the tournament, that would be great.

Like if people want to think that about Ironwood and say 'well that's how HE views her' then fine, cool, go off. The show's U turn on Ironwood in the later seasons supports that reading. But the fact is that Ironwood's early season actions aren't definitive proof of villainy and can't be used as a 'clearly he was always going to turn evil' or a ‘clearly he was always bad’ moment, because his motivations in those seasons aren't seen as corrupt until years later when the writers have already taken their U turn, and the character we DID get for Ironwood then was of a good guy. So many fans like me didn't just paint Penny as a weapon with no agency and took things like Penny saying her father was protective and that she asked to join the Vytal Tournament to mean just that. When I tell you that the first time someone told me ‘Ironwood smuggled a weapon over the border,’ I was like ‘huh?’ And I thought they meant the weapons he clearly had an expo for and was clearly allowed to bring. When they said ‘no, I meant Penny’ I felt really indignant because I never would’ve thought to call Penny Polendina a weapon, any more than I would’ve thought to call Yang or Pyrrha or Ruby nothing more than weapons. But, tbh, with the way the show went, the writers themselves treated Penny as little more than a weapon too, so I guess I can’t get too mad at the fans who follow their lead. They used Penny as extra power and a place holder Maiden and to draw in viewers, and then they upgraded her for a new model while insisting that the old one wasn’t good at all, before they promptly threw her away for cheap shocks when her usefulness was over and they no longer knew what to do with her. The writers treated Penny like Ironwood’s gun-gun.

#rwde #pro ironwood #pro iw #pro penny polendina #rwby bashing #anti rwby #rwby hate #anti crwby #anti rooster teeth #pro james ironwood

[aweecrush]

As soon as she opens the glass door, the October chill immediately comes to tickle her face. She sighs in delight - feck, it's hot in that apartment. Between the room full of people dancing, the various groups scattered all around the place, the smoking and the booze, it's like a damn volcano in there.

The balcony is not actually what you could call small, but even so, she can hear the drunken advice of Orla’s roommate clearly from the other side of it. She doesn’t know the friend she’s talking to, but the sight of the both of them half shouting how great the other is while trying - and failing - not to spill all their wine is as sweet as it is funny. Ah, the outbursts of love of the shitfaced.

A smile on her face, Erin turns towards the other side of the space where, as predicted, she spots the special someone she loves, shitfaced or not.

Her heart immediately drops at the sight of him.

Leaving her glass on the first table she finds, she makes her way towards his dark figure leaning over edge as he gazes at the city. She can’t see his face yet, but his hunched shoulders are indication enough. Not that she needs any, really.

When she wraps her arms around him from behind, James straightens up to make it easier for her. She holds him as close as she can and rests her cheek against his back, breathes him in. He takes one of her hands and kisses it, then laces their fingers together and places them back on his stomach.

There’s the muffled music and the laughs coming from the inside, the shouts from the girls not far. The sounds of the city night life beneath them.

“I’ve missed you tonight,” he says after a while. They’ve barely seen each other since they arrived.

Erin holds him even tighter. “I’ve missed you too.”

But both his hands are covering hers, one of his thumbs drawing slow patterns on her skin, and he’s warm, and he smells good, so good. It’s all perfect now.

“You drunk?” She can hear the smile in his voice. She turns her head just enough to bury her nose between his shoulder blades, a giggle that betrays her current state escaping her lips.

“Yep,” and she feels his chuckle against her chest. “Clare’s much worse though. She’s currently alternating between telling our non-France going story to that French girl and burping in a very horrific and worrying way, so it’s safe to say there's a disaster looming.” James snorts. “You?”

“Not really, no. Although Nick’s waiting for me with a shot competition when I go back inside, so that should change really soon.”

Thanks to her heels, she can drop a couple of kisses on his cheek without having to raise on her tiptoes, a smirk on her lips.

“As much as I love you, and that’s quite a lot to be honest, you do know that there’s no way you’re winning said competition, right?”

He nods, faking seriousness. “Oh yeah. I mean, he’s like a magician or something.”

“Unbeatable.”

“Uh uh. He and Michelle really did find each other, didn’t they - he’s probably the only person I know who can actually drink more than her. I mean, the Halloween party...”

“Clare’s birthday.”

“That Christmas break party.”

“That was impressive.” She feels sick just remembering the amount of vodka involved.

She lets their laughs slowly die down before nuzzling him, dropping a wee kiss behind his ear, another just a bit lower.

She figures now is as good a time as any, isn’t it. “I heard you and Michelle talk in the kitchen earlier.”

The moment the words leave her mouth, she feels him tense against her. Of course he does.

She trails kisses down his neck as an apology for approaching a subject she knows he doesn’t want to. As an encouragement. She buries her face there, waits for a bit. Then, mumbles softly against his skin, “You know she didn’t mean what she said.”

“You know she did.”

Well. He’s not exactly wrong on that one - they both know it.

“She’s just angry, that’s all. You know how she gets.”

She lets one of her hands leave his, and travel on his forearm lazily. Soothingly, she hopes. “She’s just very protective of you. But she shouldn’t have said that.”

“Yeah, well.”

He does that, when he’s upset. Shuts down, coming up with only short answers to let you know that he’d rather not continue this conversation - short, but answers all the same, because he wouldn’t go as far as shutting you out completely. That he'd consider mean, hurtful, and James doesn’t hurt people - he never would.

That’s why it sucks even more to have to watch when people hurt him.

She wants to tell him that Michelle will come back to her senses in the morning, that she’ll regret her harsh words and apologize for them, sincerely. That she’ll hit him in the shoulder for good measure, and that it will be that, over in a second. Because well - it will, really. There’s no doubt about that.

But the thing is, he already knows all that. The thing is, Michelle’s usual lack of delicacy and moderation isn’t the problem here, far from it. She wishes that it was. Much easier to deal with, wouldn’t it.

Pressing her whole body against his, Erin brushes her lips on the back of his neck, and lets the hair at his nape tickle her nose as she lingers there a little.

“I’m sorry your mum isn’t coming to the wedding, baby.”

“It’s fine.”

An answer too fast, too rehearsed to be sincere. Not that she would have believed it had he been more convincing.

She rests her chin on his shoulder, brings her hand back over his own. “No, it’s not - not at all.”

He snorts. “Of course it is, Erin. It makes sense, really: I mean, who wouldn’t choose a vacation that may or may not happen with a guy they’ve known for five minutes over the most important day of their son’s life?”

The irony in his voice does nothing to cover the bitterness underneath it. The pain.

Feck, she hates this.

After a few seconds, he huffs. “Whatever - I don’t care.”

Ever since the day he had changed his mind about going to London all those years ago, since that moment he’d decided to stay in Derry and she’d been able to breathe properly again, James had started to see things more clearly when it came to Cathy. He’d told her so - told her what Michelle had said to convince him not to go with her, told her how it felt to finally understand how right she was. That day, and after.

In the days, the weeks that had followed, it had stayed with him, turned again and again in his head. How she’d only take care of him when there was nothing more distracting to do when he was a kid. How his stepdad Paul had been the one raising him, playing with him. Caring.

The reasons - excuses - he had made to explain her leaving him in Derry without so much as a goodbye had started to fall apart one by one, leaving what she did only for what it was: an abandonment. She’d abandoned him, plain and simple.

And it had hurt, really hurt, but yet, he hadn’t blamed her - never would. Again, he was just far too good for that. She was still his mum, and he still loved her.

So he hadn’t said anything when she called to say she wouldn’t be able to take him the Christmas, then the summer after her visit. He never complained that she actually never visited him again in Derry after that. Michelle would fume everytime he called her, hating that he was always the one doing the effort (but she never said anything to him, only to them girls - none of them would ever say anything, because none of them wanted to make him sadder than he already was).

Things never changed. Not when he finished high school, not when he finished Uni. To this day, she hadn’t really congratulated him on his first nor his second job, least of all learnt what it was. And again, James never complained, because again, he loved her, and he could never really resent her. He’d lowered his expectations more and more over the years, learnt to be disappointed each time anyway. But he never said anything.

It affected him, though. She knew, she was there to see it. They all were. Ma Mary won’t even let the name of ‘that heartless woman’ be uttered in her house, even though she always makes sure never to show or say anything in front of James.

He cared - still does, always will. How couldn’t he?

Desperate for something, anything to make him feel even a tiny bit better, Erin leaves a hundredth kiss against his skin, painfully aware that that won’t be enough.

“You do care. Hey - ” She grabs his hips to turn him in so she can face him when he snorts, and he obliges. She waits until he’s looking at her to speak again. “Of course you do.”

Anyone would be affected by something like this, but him? He’s so sweet, her English, so sensible, and he wears his heart on his sleeve, and she hates how even in the darkness of the night, she can see just how much he does care. Just how heavy his heart is right now.

It was palpable, evident ever since Kathy had called this morning to tell him, but now, as he slowly let his defenses down, sadness and defeat taking over with each second, it’s written all over his beautiful face, and it just breaks her fecking heart.

“I should have expected it, right?”

He chuckles, not an ounce of humor in it. “I mean, missing birthdays - including my 25 and 30, not showing up at graduation, not visiting our flat even once, not this one, not the one before that...That was the next logical step - nothing to be surprised about.”

He shakes his head, and as he looks away, the lights of the balcony reflect on the watery green of his eyes.

His voice is so small when he speaks again, she barely hears it. “I don’t know why I thought it’d be different this time.”

Erin runs her hands up and down his back, hating herself for not being able to do more, to take the pain away from him, just like that.

“Because it should have been," is all she finds to say.

Aye, of course it should have been - just this once, for Christ's sake.

“It’s just...How little do you have to care about your own child to do that, you know. Over and over. Even now - even for this. I told her, once - I told her what you mean to me. I guess I just thought...I guess I thought that it was something every parent wanted to see for their kid, and that for once, that would include her, too.”

He finally looks back at her at that, and suddenly, she sees the fifteen year-old sitting next to her in Sister Michael’s office the day they met again, the heartbreak clear in his eyes as he understands that his mum left him.

She fecking hates all of it.

Helpless, Erin brings their foreheads together, her arms firmly wrapped around his torso as he lets out a heavy sigh.

“She does care, James.”

“You don't have to lie.”

“I’m not - of course she does. And she loves you. She's just- "

“Selfish? Self centered? I’m running out of the polite words used by Michelle now, the others were much more colourful,” and Erin backs away slightly, smiling at him knowingly.

“In her own world, let’s say. I don’t think she realizes just how much damage she does. And I’m not going to try to make excuses for her, for this or for everything else - it is shitty, and she’s an adult and she should realize what she’s doing and do better. I’m just saying...She doesn’t. But that doesn’t mean that she doesn’t love you, because she does.”

He looks away again at that, and it’s a punch to the stomach to realize that yeah - the thought did cross his mind. It really did.

Slipping her hands from his back, she brings them to his cheeks, gently making him look at her again, hating the sadness she finds in his eyes.

She smiles. “She does love you. And it sucks so bad that she doesn’t show it to you, because she should, and she should realize just how lucky she is to have you, for feck sake, but...But please don’t forget that you do have a family who makes you their number one priority, and who always will. I mean, I think that was a smile I saw on your Aunt Deirdre’s face when we told her - an actual smile!”, and she’s proud of herself when he chuckles at that, a true smile of his own lightening his face.

“And we all know that Michelle punching you harder than usual that day was her stupid way to cover the tears I definitely saw in her eyes - even though true, there were nothing compared to the way Paul just - well, broke down, really.”

He smirks. “Even Clare didn’t weep this much.”

“Which really, is saying something. Also, my family loves you more than they love me, Ma, Anna and Orla don’t even bother to pretend otherwise at this point, and I think at least one of us should take pleasure in that.” He’s laughing now, and yeah, this - this is how she wants him to be for the rest of their lives. Laughing, his squinting eyes shining - that’s what he deserves.

Biting down her own smile, Erin draps her arms around his neck, bringing him close. “And for what it’s worth, you also have me. You’re my person, remember? My favorite one in the whole world. I’m here - I’ll always be here.”

Always.

“Also, it will still be the best party ever, because I didn’t want to say anything, but I’ve prepared a massive, massive surprise, and - ”

But then his lips are on hers, and Erin just holds him closer, fingers tangled in his brown curls, and kisses him back.

Aye - more than fifteen years she's known him, and that boy still manages to leave her light headed. It vaguely occurs to her that maybe she should be worried about that.

“Thank you,” he says when they eventually part, still so close that she feels his words on her lips. She smirks.

“For what, the surprise? Because to be honest, I haven't actually figured out what it would be just yet: I just know it will be so grand, you'll - ”

She’s not exactly surprised when James kisses her again to shut her up - she definitely doesn’t mind, either. She can feel his chuckle against her as he pecks her once, twice, then moves to her cheek, her jaw, and her heart swells in her chest.

“For everything," he smiles, looking back at her and pinching her side playfully. "For not piling up on Michelle's heartfelt opinions about my mum, tonight or ever, even though I know that you hate her too."

She frowns. "Hey, I don’t hate her.” There’s no accusation in his tone or in his eyes, but she needs him to know. “I swear, I’ve never hated her. I just hate the situation, and you being sad.” She lets her fingers run on the back of his neck, lets her eyes travel over that handsome face of his. “I mean, we have her to thank for you, haven't we? How could I hate her, silly."

He’s looking at her that way now, that way that’s far too soft, too - something, and that always makes her cheeks redden. Tonight is no exception.

She’s not exactly sure how long they stay out there, kissing like they’re teenagers at a party again. She does hears herself moan in disapproval when he eventually leans back, and he nuzzles her to make amend, amused.

“Come on, let’s go back inside - you’re going to catch a cold out here.”

To be fair, she is freezing her arse off. But -

“You sure you’re okay?”

He’s got that wee soft smile of his on his face now, and, before she can say anything else, James brings his warm hands on her neck and puts an even softer last kiss on the corner of her lips.

“Of course I’m okay - I’m marrying you.”

Truth is, she’s pretty sure she looks like an eejit, beaming and blushing like she is. Again, she can’t bring herself to mind.

Lacing their fingers together, Erin leads the way back inside. “Come on, then - let’s get shitfaced, my love.”

#erin x james #james x erin #jerin #derry girls #fanfiction

[magioffire]

you know whats kinda fecking hard? describing a sensation that your oc would experience that no human ever would experience. its like trying to describe mantis shrimp colors. like vali and the dokkalfar live in a world of chemical responses and chemical communication, their antennae allow them to pick up on even the slightest change in chemicals in the air and being given off by other creatures. like....how do you begin to describe that?  what would that be like, being able to taste the air and immediately tell what animals and beings had been in the area, their general state of mind (angry, scared, content, etc) and espesially what sort of communication would go in a species that also uses chemical impulses. it would be like living a bit more like an ant lives -- they don't recognize themselves by sight as much as they recognize eachother by chemicals. dokkalfar are much more complex than ants of course and rely a lot more on sight than some other inverts (they wont take their fellow dokkalfar to the graveyard/catacombs if they obviously arent dead just because they have chemicals that indicate they are dead to the other dokkalfar, though its a funny thought of "hmm smells like hes dead. put him in the plague cart" "IM NOT DEAD YET!!!") but the idea is the same, like that is so cool, i dont know if im even doing it justice tho lol

#ooc. #the best and worst part of writing xenobiology #you have you imagine and write experiences that are so alien to humans #lol i have thoughts today #lore. #biology. #i will probs elaborate more on how dokkalfar use chemicals to communicate with and figure out their surroundings on another level #but that day isnt today (maybe)

[chanaihimaa]

FFXIV Write #8 - Adroit

Chanai drifted away and parked himself against a wall somewhere tucked away from the crowd, a sense of feeling flighty and cantankerous plucking at his seams like a delicately stringed lyre. The meeting of a man with more weight than the mass he carried on his person was in order this night – someone worth striking a deal with – and, damn it all, now he’d gone and let Jace out of his sight. The cogs of his imagination was unkind, painting visions of someone skewering the man in the back with a knife. There was no dignity about it – none at all. But some would feel Jace didn’t deserve it and now… No. No, no-one was going to stab Jace in the back. Not here. But that didn’t stop Chanai from chewing through his cheek and his attempts to cease the sweat accumulating in his palms. Gods damnit, what had gotten into him? As adroit as he was at working these things before, he knew this game like the back of his hand. So what the Hells was wrong with him?

“Are you Chanai?”

His train of thought abruptly stuttered. Chanai glanced once, gave a double-take, and furrowed his brow under a heavy frown at the woman as if he had been outright insulted, his jaw setting. “Feck off,” he bristled bluntly before a far more articulate thought could come to mind. A suitably mortified gasp fueled the woman’s departure without so much as another word. …That was cruel, he regrettably thought, a momentary twist in the low of his belly quicker than the belated urge to wring his fingers. Surely she didn’t mean any harm by it, did she? That woman didn’t deserve being snapped at, even if she probably was no better than the people she surrounded herself with. These kind of people… They didn’t think they’re selfish, but they are. Some might even convince themselves that they, to a vast degree, were good. They may hold charitable events under questionable circumstances with no show for where exactly the gil went other than plump their already fatten gil purses and feel partly moved to spare their leftovers to those in and outside the walls for the sake of making themselves feel better. Just enough to say they’ve done ‘their part’ to help them sleep at night and carry on with their life. It disgusted him, viscerally. Playing this part, being around them longer than he necessarily had to b– “You wouldn’t mind if I stand here, do you?” Fuck me sideways. Chanai barely acknowledged the older man that approached him. “Ain’t no stoppin’ you,” he muttered distractdely, searching the crowd for Jace’s figure. Jace was tall enough that one really just needed to be on the look-out for someone that fit the ‘silver fox’ description. He spied Dina, caught up in conversation with some other halfwit, but Jace was gone. Godsdamn. Probably schmoozing, but– “Cigarette?” The man attempted to offer him. “Not from you,” Chanai automatically quipped. He had more things on his plate to worry about. “Ahhh~ I get it. Not one for things like this, I take it.” the man mused. It was then Chanai felt obliged to at least spare a look, if only to understand why he hadn’t taken the hint yet. He was probably the same age as Jace; blonde, a little shorter with a forgettable face. The man sniffed on a rather dry curl of a soft smirk as he fiddled to light his own cigarette. “Are you sure? You look like you could use a cigarette,” he tried. Chanai’s eyes subtly narrowed. “I’a don’t do small-talk,” he said, shortly. Jace, he thought, almost a little frantically, as he turned his eyes to scan the crowd once more, why’d you have to fucking bring me here?

“I know,” the man murmured, exhaling a small flume of smoke. “I was watching you. You’re quite unfriendly, you know,” he noted absently, letting cigarette ash drop onto the marble floor at his feet. “I like that.” Oh, Gods, a melter. Not now. Chanai resisted the urge to bolt for the nearest exit. “Sounds like a right problem for you t’work through on your own, aye?” He didn’t mean it to be funny. He never meant for it to sound funny in any way, but the man laughed all the same. “I guess it is,” the man chuckled, taking it as an invitation. “You’re the new addition making a muck of things, aren’t you?  The one who sold information over for…” A twinkle of intrigue illuminated caramel brown eyes. An annoyed click of his tongue. “M’sorry, and you are?” Chanai asked, irritated despite himself. “Arnor,” the man introduced himself without falter as he turned his body slightly to rest his leaning shoulder against the wall, his sandy hair sweeping along his shoulders. Tobacco smoke curled Chanai’s face with a quiet reverence, tainted and sour. “Arnor Coldren, son of the friend of a friend. I’m afraid asking who is out of the question.” A snort. “Will I, yeah?” “The point is, I’m a wealthier lay than you, without a doubt, will ever have,” the stranger’s head canted softly on a smokey exhale. “What do you think?” For the first time that evening, Chanai felt the soothing wave of calm he’s felt all night wash over him as he stared up at Arnor and straight into his eyes. “O’what? A right-bollix with a face that could drive rats from a barn? Come now, lad. If nothin’ else, ‘ve got standards. Don’t insult me.”

-----

@roguestly for the mention of her oc, Jace!

#ffxivwrite2021 #my writing #oc: Arnor Coldren #other ocs: Jace Argyle #I will never be consistent enough to keep up #but I WILL hop on when I can

[kingleedo]

check in tag 👑

I was tagged by my lovely @soonhoonsol 🥰

why did you choose this URL?

because I wanted to go with something Leedo related but leedo and geonhak were taken (but idk if I even tried it lmao). I also have a slight obsession with kings and stuff, so idk it somehow felt natural. And kingleedo sounds nice. Anyways, then I googled the member profiles and it was pointed out that Woong gave him that king Sejeong related nickname about being the creator of Hangeul. And I was like SO IT'S PERFECT!!!

do you have any sideblogs?

no, totally not a fan of sideblogs hahaha. I do have other blogs, tho. @kmvkxn is my personal which I almost never use now

how long have you been on tumblr?

in general, around 10 years.

do you have a queue tag?

not a fan of queues, either haha. but if I had one it would probably be something basic like q or queue

why did you start this blog in the first place?

because I got freshly into kpop after a break, my personal was already too exposed. for a time being it had the same URL as my Instagram username. And for the first time in my life I kinda wanted a member/group-oriented account so I was like I AM CREATING A NEW TUMBLR lmao but I failed since it became a multi anyways, but god knows I try to make sure that ONEUS content takes at least 60-70% of the stuff I post about.

why did you choose this pfp?

for a long time, I wanted my blog to be fancy as feck, like you know living up to the name. But this bish Geonhak doesn't run around wearing a crown (like he should). So I took matters into my own hands. ISTG if I ever go to their live fan sign I'm bringing 50 crowns for my king!

why did you choose your header?

SO IF YOU GO TO MY PERSONAL (and if you were to see ALMOST all of the blogs that I have ever had on this site), you'd see that I'm a hoe for black/red color palette. This theme looked so nice in black/grey at first tho. But then they dropped teasers for Black Mirror and when I saw Keonhee in a red suit, I lost it. And I was like IF LEEDO IS IN RED I AM CHANGING MY COLOR PALETTE so here we are :) it's only logical that I chose his teaser for the header.

what’s your post with most notes?

based on tumblr calculations it's the photoset I did for Woong which can be found here. Lmao I'm not like tumblr famous so idk man hahaha

how many mutuals do you have?

I don't count them, honestly. Almost all my followers are my mutuals, I love to follow people back. But if we were to talk about people I talk to, I'd say around 20-25 people

how many followers do you have?

currently, 139

following?

191

do you make shit posts?

bold of you to assume I don't. My whole life, whole existence is one big shitpost ahahahha

how long do you use tumblr each day?

it depends. but you can bet my ass I spend almost all my free time here.

did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

Nope. I don't think so. Never in my life got anon hate, too. There's a joke that only popular blogs get anon hate lmao hahha (THO ANON HATE IS NOT FUNNY KIDS, DON'T BE DICKS)

how do you feel ‘you need to reblog this’ posts?

most of the time I have this "Don't tell me what to do" attitude. But if it's a signal boost or a support post (basically anything that has good intentions), I'd reblog it.

do you like tag games?

yes, but they pile up in my likes because I love them and I'm like OH MY GOD SOMEDAY I'LL GET TO THIS ONE 100% but then I either forget or life happens or I get distracted :') BUT I NOTICE THEM ALL AND I REALLY LOVE THAT PEOPLE TAG ME IN THOSE <3

do you like ask games?

of course!! But I don't do them often, because I don't want to disappoint people who send the asks in. (in case I forget or smth ;;)

which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

idk about that but I do believe that all my mutuals deserve to be tumblr famous. Especially the CC crew! They all make amazing works, be it gif making, video editing, edits, writing, drawings. You guys make this place a better place and it wouldn't exist without you all!

do you have a crush on a mutual?

no, lmao. I mean you all beautiful and amazing and I love you so much! jfc look at me friendzoning yall. In my defense, my last mutual rs didn't end well, so NAH NEVER AGAIN

tagging my squad:

@kuroyurishion @u-know-time @geniuspepe @trashlord-007 @lovepaintt @minbinlix @hoshiwhxre @kimoonday @yeongwvnhi @malzenn @moon-typewriter @naturalogre @highponyleedo @younqjo @plasticflowering @strikingtaemin @seohopeful @nyangjo @seohoshi @leed0neus @kim-hong-joongie @squirrel-seoho @donghanies @imtheoneinmyzone and anyone else who wants to do it ^^

#tag games #thank you babie chey #chey 🍉

[tardytothepardy]

hm

Ok, so I've just finished reading through Gakuen Alice, the whole finale and everything, and I kinda feel like it was either rushed, or missing something. There were just weird elements to it, and stuff that doesn't make sense to me.

(massive spoilers for a lot of the series below, just an fyi)

So, in the finale, Mikan's been taken away from Alice Academy, and has been away from it for a couple years. She has no memory of anything from that time, though she sometimes still gets hit by intense emotions unexpectedly, most likely parts of her memory trying to get through. She's a high school student, she's 16 years old, and apparently there's recently been an incident of kidnappings in the area that seem to specifically target girls around her age.

So when she goes down to the beach with her two friends, simply called Sa-chan and Shi-chan, and a bunch of shit starts going down, there's reason to panic, right? Ahh, there's a bunch of men here that I don't know that are going to kidnap me!!! But then, another group of men that she doesn't know show up and beat them up! Whoa! Then, randomly, for some reason, one of her friends just smooshes up her face and suddenly she's an entirely different person. But that's not all. All these new strange men seem to know her, and they have crazy powers! There's one guy who just made all the kidnappers pass out with a wave of his hand! Another guy seemed to just make fire spring out of nowhere! What the fuck??

I just,, the way that Narumi and Tsubasa and Natsume and Tonouchi and fuckin,,, everyone else just seems to think it's so funny and wacky that Mikan, who does not remember any of them, is freaking out and thinking they are going to kidnap her, it bothers me. Like, imagine just going through your day, then a bunch of weird men who act like they know you surround you completely, then just laugh at you when you freak out. What the hell.

I just generally have gripes about how the characters act, basically. It's just fucking weird to me, idk. Could it be due to the fact that I read all of this within the span of maybe three days? Sure. But still.

Starting off, I just have to talk about how Natsume,,, acted? behaved? responded? something,, to Mikan. He fecking grabbed her wrist (and uh, again, she hasn't remembered who any of these people are yet) and just fuggin stares at her. Sure, that does trigger something in Mikan's memory, and she's starting to vaguely re-remember stuff, but then he just??? grabs her chest????? What????? WHy?? Would??? you??? do?? that????? I just,,, I know that he did do shit like that earlier in the series, constantly making comments about how flat her chest was (YOUR HONOR SHE'S FECKING TEN YEARS OLD WHAT'S YOUR DEFENSE) and looking down her shirt or whatever, but,, from around the first Christmas party onwards, he never pulled any of that shit. He never made comments about any of that weird shit, none of that. I (foolishly, apparently) thought that he had,, I dunno,, kinda moved on from that whole,,,, assault,,, thing,,, but no. Guess not.

And like, at this point, idk how old he would be, but probably around 17 ish years old. Wh-- why?? What,, what-- WHY DID HE DO THAT??? WHY DID HE THINK THAT WAS A CORRECT THING TO DO??? It was bad enough when they were younger and actually knew each other, it's fucking gross and uncomfortable now that they're both older and SHE DOESN'T FUCKING REMEMBER WHO THE FUCK HE IS. To her, he's just some random creep who groped her? Ah, teenage romance, what a dream~~

After that.... incident, a few other things happen, but he just fucking grabs her (she still hasn't fully realized what is going on or who any of these random men are) and fukkin yells at her for leaving the school before he woke up, all those years ago. Dude, buddy, pal, friendo, she didn't have any control over any of that shit. She wasn't the reason that Nodacchi brought him back a week or so after Mikan left, she didn't know any of that!! She was waiting that whole time, but she didn't have any control over when Nodacchi would bring back Natsume, I just,,, why. It annoys me immensely.

(i'm rereading through the whole interaction again and uh,, yeah that one panel where he's holding her and just starts talking about shit that she doesn't remember or understand and then fuggin says "You are mine"??? UH,, DUDE?? NO. STOP. Props to Mikan for not losing her shit bc I definitely would. I'd be having a panic attack or something, this is an intensely stressful situation and I just,,, The sighs that I am sighing are so intense. Disappointment is accompanying every exhale, I stg.)

It is only after Mikan absorbs that fragment of her first Alice stone that she even starts to remember stuff and I just,, I do not like it.

Moving on from that, Ruka. What's up with him. What's he been doing this whole time. Idk. He just feels weird to me. Maybe it's the fact that everyone's all grown up and all seem to be experiencing a particularly nasty case of same-face-syndrome, but he just seems so,,, bland? Empty? There's something off about it, I don't get it. I mean, at least Ruka doesn't try to do something to Mikan when she hasn't remembered who tf he is, so he has that going for him.

At least he has a purpose beyond just standing there: it's to give Mikan those earbuds that Hotaru made, and they allow for Mikan to hear Hotaru's voice which spurs her to become determined to find her. (Also apparently whenever this is all taking place, that is actually Mikan's birthday. Some point in the summer, I think? I can't say for sure without checking the wiki.) (ok so I looked at the wiki and it says her birthday is May 17th, so, yeah.)

But yeah I just,, after Mikan remembers everything and agrees that she wants to find Hotaru, the entire Class B from when Mikan was in the Alice Academy is suddenly transported there, and among the things that I saw, I saw that Nobara and Persona,,, had a kid??? What??? I'm confused. Never mind the fact that he's probably like twice her age, easily, but like,,, where tf did that come from? I don't get why that happened. It's weird. Why? Why was that a thing? I'm confused.

I'm not sure that I'm just underwhelmed, I think I'm also kinda disappointed, honestly. The series had been picking up so much steam, there were so many things going on, feelings were developing and growing, and I was completely caught up in it. But after the scene where Hotaru and Subaru sacrifice themselves so that Mikan can be with Natsume in the future I just,, wasn't really feeling it? I mean, I was crying all the way through to when Mikan was being taken out of Alice Academy, that was sad and stuff, but then the last few chapters just felt so rushed. So many things (but it also felt like too few things) were just piled on top of each other, one thing after another, I didn't feel anything. I was expecting to be elated once Mikan and Natsume were reunited, after all, that was the whole reason why Hotaru sacrificed herself. I fuckin watched him die, and I was screaming and rocking around in my chair and hyperventilating, I was caught up in all of that. But when Mikan did remember everything and stuff, I was fine. "Oh, cool. That's nice." I don't even know why, honestly.

I think, really, that (and this sounds questionable) I preferred everyone as kids. Because up to this point, they've all been kids. The way that they act are the ways that kids act (more or less, no kid should be through a fraction of what these kids were through), and I became familiar with them. But now everyone's grown up, they're almost adults, but since this is the finale, there isn't time to show how people have changed, and so they just feel one-dimensional. Like, I think one of the main reasons why Natsume's actions threw me off so much was that, like I said, it seemed like he had dropped that behavior (of um, groping, assaulting, harassment, stuff like that) kinda early on in the story. From at least the first Christmas party and onward, he never made weird comments, he just didn't do weird shit, and that's why it's so weird that that's what he decided to do. "Hey, how I can jog the memory of the girl that I fell in love with all those years ago? Well, I suppose I can grab her chest and comment on how it's bigger. That seems like a solid plan." Dude, what? No.

This whole encounter, of finding Mikan, was a thing that was thought about, almost certainly planned, for who knows how long, but it just kinda feels like they (the entire group) had like, a week, to come up with a plan to find Mikan, try to get her memories back, and then ???? something???

It's weird, I'm tired, and kinda disappointed. Which is really sad, because I really liked the story up until the finale. I almost feel like there's something else, to the story. That chapter 180 isn't the end, but that's as far as I could read it, so that's all I could get from it.

#honestly part of me was kinda scared of this #I tried to not amp up my anticipation for it too much #maybe i ended up doing it anyway #if i do end up reading this series again (which I probably will) hopefully the ending won't feel so weird #part of it might be the fact that I'm not reading the actual books (bc they only got translated up to vol. 15 or so in English) #so I'm actually reading a fan-translation so it might not be exact #but I find it hard to believe that they would just snafu the FINALE so fucking hard??? #Minor grammatical errors are one thing but the entire ending of a series feeling weird underwhelming and hollow is another #idk #Maybe as I take time to think about it and take it all in I'll come another conclusion but for right now #I'm disappointed #gakuen alice #mikan sakura #natsume hyuuga #ruka nogi #hotaru imai