#and it did help that my coordinator was Actually supportive not like those in the h.r. or whatever it's called here lol

[sensazioneultra]

and before watching that film i was thinking (for the nth time, lately) about my workplace putting out my deadname for everyone to see and then telling me to my face that that'd help me "deal with actual mistreatment from the outside world". not kidding they literally tried to spin them basically outing me which wasn't intentional and could've been taken as a sign they need to do better into a positive thing that would help me deal with Real Transphobia in the future as if work wasn't a pretty fucking important part of my life that i need to be respected in too! AND as if i needed THEM to teach me about transphobia??????? like i swear the way this cis white woman said it it was like they had given me my first taste of transphobia ever GIRL I KNOW THIS SHIT I EXPERIENCE IT EVERY!!!! DAY!!!!!!! pissed me off so much

#it upset me so much at the time and it made going to work very difficult for a bit #then i guess i just. had to put it in the back of my mind if i wanted to be able to keep working as usual #and it did help that my coordinator was Actually supportive not like those in the h.r. or whatever it's called here lol #(ironic i know. they should know better. it's their fucking job) #so for a few months i didn't think about it but lately it's been on my mind again #it was bad... more than i let myself admit until not long ago #it didn't have disastrous consequences like on a concrete level like daily life at work didn't change #but it affected me deeply #like my workplace trying to teach me a trans person what a lil transphobia is like. awww. #fucked up lmao

[hinaaspanda]

pretty boy on lockdown! | k.gv

pairing: popular guy! kim gyuvin x fem, student president! reader warnings: swearing like three words, mentions of food genre: fake dating, reverse grumpy x sunshine, super fluffy, angst if you squint but even then it's not that much, crack fic wc: 9,752

Kim Gyuvin was begging on his knees trying to get away from his crazed fangirls. He just needed a moment of peace. Along came you, the stingy student president who didn't even know who he was! You were the final piece to the puzzle; the perfect addition to his perfect plan. It was simple; you two pretend to date and drive away all of Gyuvin's weird fangirls. You only had one rule, though; Gyuvin has to drive you everywhere!

a/n: hiii i'm back with my first fic for zb1! I love kim gyuvin with all my heart omg this fic was actually so fun to write! please support zb1 and their new song, crush, too! I tried to make this one super fluffy so hope u guys enjoy~

You were holding someone’s hand.

The hand was much bigger than yours, most likely a man’s. The metal surface of what you assumed was a ring had shocked your skin cool. His knuckles were calloused, rough—he seriously needed to invest in some hand cream. Contradictingly, his palms were warm and clammy; a sensation you didn’t particularly enjoy, either.

More importantly, however, you didn’t have a clue who this man was. 

It seems he didn’t catch that memo.

“I already have a girlfriend,” the owner of the hand bogusly smiled at the two girls who cornered you in the middle of the hallway. Stupefied, you gazed up at his towering frame and broad shoulders, with his sports bag flush against his chest. You glanced at his flushed red ears, sweat beading from his forehead, his puppy dog eyes that were full of determination. You admit; he would’ve been cute if it weren’t for this non-consensual hand holding habit of his. The creepy-hand-guy glanced at his feet. “I can’t date you, sorry!”

“Awe, Gyubinnee!” one of the girls whined, a sound synonymous with an air horn. “Since when were you dating someone?”

You seconded the air-horn girl’s testaments. Since when were you in a relationship you didn’t even know about?

His hand clung around your fingers tighter. “It just sorta happened, you know?”

The two girls took quick glances at each other, whining some more before ultimately walking away, their shoulders slumped to the floor. Creepy-hand-guy waited a few paces, his eyes tracking the girls like a sniper on the kill. The girls turned the corner at the hall, and only then did the creepy hand guy exhale from relief. He held a hand against his chest, as if his heart was minutes away from falling out of place. Clearly, creepy-hand-guy was forgetting something.

“Are you gonna let go?”

“Oh, shit,” he jutted, his hand flying away from yours. He took two lengthy steps away from your figure, as if he finally learnt the meaning of personal space. Took him long enough. You heave a sigh, using your finally free hand to continue what you were originally here to do; gathering your things to bus home. 

“I’m really sorry—those girls were killing me.” He cradled the nape of his neck with his palm, flashing the grin. A genuine one, this time. Though it was laced with nervousness. “Thanks for helping me out. I’m Gyuvin.” 

Gyuvin pushed a hand out to your direction, making this the second time you’ve ever held his hand. You hugged your books against your chest, leaving one hand open to shake his hand. “y/n.”

“Do you usually hold random girl’s hands in your free time?” Turning around, you took a jab at him as you shoved your books into your school bag. It elicited a nervous chuckle from his chest. Gyuvin clung onto his bag strap. “No, those girls back there—they keep harassing me and asking for my number. So, I, uh, had to improvise? Yeah.” 

Throwing your bag over your shoulder, you couldn’t help but giggle at his lack of coordination. Gyuvin fiddled with his fingers, lighting up at the sight of your amusement. He really did resemble a puppy. 

You clicked your phone open, your eyes scanning the time left you had to rush over to your bus stop. Shock ran though your spine, sweat beaded from your forehead. 8 minutes. You had 8 minutes before the bus would arrive, and the closest bus stop resided on the other side of a massive hill. Slamming your locker shut, you dashed to the exit, brushing past Gyuvin’s shoulder. You quickly turned back, greeting the puppy boy with a weary eye-smile. 

“Good luck with that—”

“Wait!”

His voice tethered you to the ground, your body frozen. You couldn’t quite figure out why you bothered to listen; the clock was ticking—fast. Gyuvin adjusted his figure to face you upfront before bending over in a 90* bow. Your brows furrowed, speechless. What was this guy doing?

“Can you be my fake girlfriend?”

You choked, eyes spilling from your sockets. This felt like some joke, like a prank camera crew was moments away from jumping out and exposing their true intentions. You glanced around just to be safe. You caught a glimpse of the boy before you, slowly straightening his posture—his eyes flooding with determination. Your lips part. He wasn’t joking, was he? 

The puppy boy continues his wild claim, his palms facing you in defence. “I know it sounds crazy, but those girls have never listened to me before! This is the first time they’ve actually back down after I’ve told them to go away.” Gyuvin held a hand to his chest. “If I make it seem like I’m in a believable relationship, I might actually have a shot at making those guys leave me alone.”

Gyuvins eyes drilled into you, his voice softening. “I really need your help—please.”

Feelings of guilt started to seep into your chest, but you quickly swatted them away. You barely knew this man, why would you give into his psychotic request? You checked the bus time once again; 6 minutes. Shit. 

“No thanks!” You jutted from your chest.

With that, you dashed out the door, your bag swinging side to side as you ran. As heartless as your actions were, you didn’t bother to look back. You simply let the puppy boy fend for himself. It didn’t matter, you’ll never see this guy again.

Right?

Running. Kim Gyuvin was running. His breath hitched against his chest, sweat 

beaded from his forehead, his sports bag swaying frantically at his hips. He barely took notice, though; his brain was too occupied with escaping the two random girls who asked him for his number this afternoon. 

Correction: girls who asked for his number and wouldn’t take no for an answer.

Gyuvin tucked himself away, hiding behind a wall of lockers to catch his breath. He combed through his hair, his chest heaving. This wasn’t the first time this happened. There have been countless times where Gyuvin had to run for his life from random people in his school; people that claimed to be fans. It was one of the downsides to being popular.

Gyuvin knew it was vain. He knew people would die just to be in his shoes. He knew people would love to be adored the way he was adored. Yet one massive thing completely goes over their heads; it was exhausting. People didn’t fully understand his struggles; the constant noise, the lack of privacy in the classroom and the bus ride to and from school. The only reason he studied his ass off to get his licence the minute he could was to get away from those fangirls who had no clue about personal space.  

Now, they’re going so far as to wait for him after practice, and chase him down for his number. Gyuvin needed to put an end to this. Now. 

Hastily, Gyuvin scanned the barren hallway. Nothing but a sea of beige lockers; all closed. It was natural, it was well after school hours—almost everyone had to be home by now. Gyuvin’s shoulders sunk to the floor, his heart losing hope for a successful escape. 

The sound of rustling suddenly crept up to his ears as he turned his head to the left. He found the figure of a girl turned away as she moved books and papers around in her locker. Her face was buried into the nook of the locker, paying no attention to the world around her. Her surroundings, baren and quiet. Gyuvin envied her a little; she looked like she was having a peaceful day. 

Another glance at the locker girl and a lightbulb bounces from Gyuvin’s brunette head. The locker girl was none other than you, Park y/n. According to Gunwook, you were the bossiest class president in your year, and you often stayed late after school for your various class president duties. Ricky dubbed you a tryhard for it. Gyuvin, however, didn’t have much to say on the matter—he’s never had the chance to talk to you.   

Gyuvin found himself staring at you, time standing still. His eyes widen before he sends a swift slap onto his cheek. Yet, that didn’t stop from curiosity bubbling in his chest.

The echoes of steps and faint voices bounce from further down the hall, Gyuvin’s spine freezing in fear almost immediately after, his brain being thrown straight back into reality. Shit. They were back. Gyuvin had to act fast. In a panic, Gyuvin’s eyes landed on your hand, which was dangling nonchalantly against your side as you fiddled with your phone. An idea perked up in his mind, an idea he swatted away instantly. But as the steps grew faster, and his time ran shorter, he knew he had no other choice. 

Gyuvin gulped as he dashed over to you. Guess it’s worth a shot.

So much for your peaceful day.

“Alright, I’ll pick you up at 4, we’ll get something to eat, then we’ll head to the concert venue.” Your best friend, Matthew listed out; his voice muffled by the crunch of cornchips. His thumb swiped over his phone, his other hand tossing more chips into his mouth. You sat across from him on your living room floor, your frame buzzing with excitement as the two of you planned your most anticipated weekend yet. Your favourite artist was holding a concert in your city and you needed to go; your life depended on it. 

Cheerfully, you nod at Matthew’s rundown of your weekend plans, a grin plastered on your face. A grin that would disappear. The cause? Matthew's snoopy ass. 

“We’ll figure out the rest later—tell me more about that hand holding guy!”

Right. That was another reason for your best friend’s visit; for him to probe you for answers regarding the weirdo, Kim Gyuvin. You only sighed. You only graced him an ominous text about it last night before you went to bed, it was only fair. You took one last swing of your soda.

“He was running away from some girls. Apparently, they can’t get the hint when he tells them he's not interested.” You wave your hand nonchalantly when images suddenly pop into your mind. The image of Gyuvin bowing down like a dork, his puppy dog eyes full of determination. The image of Gyuvin’s cheeky smile—a smile that was plastered onto his face for the entire 10 minute interaction. Your brain lingered on that image for a little while, though you weren’t fully sure as to why. 

“Oh, and get this,” You finally continued, waving those weird thoughts away. “The guy asked if I could be his fake girlfriend. Like—what?”

“What, really?” Matthew erupted into a fit of giggles, his figure folding up into a ball and rolling around like some unbalanced egg. “That’s so stupid. Did he even tell you his name?”

You nipped at your lip. “Yeah. Gyuvin.”

Matthew choked on his chips, his eyes spilling from their sockets. You stood still, frozen as curiosity took over your frame. Did you say something wrong?

“Wait. Kim Gyuvin?”

“Yeah?” You furrowed your brows. “Does that matter?"

Matthew scoffed. "He's only one of the most popular guys at school? How did you not know this?"

You only shrug. Being class president didn’t leave much room for a social life. This was no exception. Matthew ran a hand through his hair, his jaw grazing the floor in awe. You, meanwhile, only brought your soda can to your lips, nibbling at the metal as you thought back to the puppy boy. The way he fumbled and stuttered on his words, the way he so desperately ran away from his supposed fans. This guy was supposed to be your school’s hotshot pretty boy? Nah. That was impossible. 

Matthew leaned back onto the couch, a mischievous grin stretched across his face. “Go for it.” 

You choked. “What? No!” You swat the air, huffing a sigh. “I’m way too busy for something that silly. Besides, it sounds like he’s got a whole roster of girls to choose from. He doesn’t need me.”

“I dunno, sounds like he does. No one just asks a question like that,” Matthew shrugs. You wince, memories from that afternoon with Gyuvin popping into your brain; your cruel rejection in particular lingering well past its welcome.  

“Maybe it’ll be fun for you, too! Your social life needs some work—OW.” Your palm smacked his shoulder. Deserved. 

“I don’t need a fake boyfriend for that, I have you.”

“Yeah. Your only friend. I can’t hang out all the time!”

“Whatever,” You swat the air again, not putting much thought into Matthew’s words as you dug your hands into a newly opened bag of chips. Matthew was just being delusional anyways. There was no point in listening to him. 

There’s no way you’d give Kim Gyuvin the light of day.

Luck wasn’t on your side this particular afternoon.

It started with the bipolar weather of your city. Blue skies of the afternoon quickly shrivelled up into thunderous grey clouds, and soon later, showers of rain drenched the outside. Luckily enough, your student council meeting had just ended, meaning you’d be trapped in the pouring rain. Without an umbrella. Yay. 

You pushed through your school doors, being immediately greeted with harsh rain as you took your first steps outside. You tried to salvage your face, at least. Pressing your hand against your forehead in a makeshift visor; but it was no use. Your makeup had practically washed off of your face, like a tiny floatie amidst a grand wave. You only nipped at your lip, the rest of the trek to your bus stop becoming a cold, shivering blur. As you finally approach the barren bench and bus stop pole, you pull your phone out, only to be met with another devastating piece of news. 

32 minutes. The next bus was 32 minutes late. Your heart sank into the drenched sidewalk.

A sigh escapes your lips as you look up at the droplets before you, the splotches of gloomy clouds crowning over your once innocent sky. You didn’t even have the energy to complain, it was no use. As much as you wanted it to, whining wouldn’t make the bus get here faster, or miraculously send a ride your way to get you away from this mess. And so, you stood your ground, convincing yourself that everything was fine.

Happy thoughts. Like the warm shower you could take the moment you arrive home, or the concert outfit you could plan even though the concert was still weeks away. Yeah. Just think happy thoughts, y/n. 

Your phone buzzed against your palm, your eyes scanning through the numerous water beads cascading off the glass.

matthew! [6:49 pm] GIRL I'M SO SORRY MY PARENTS JUST GROUNDED ME

matthew! [6:49 pm] I CAN’T FUCKING GO TO THE CONCERT

Your heart shattered. No. This can’t be happening. You and Matthew; that's how it was supposed to be. You couldn’t just go alone! Who else were you supposed to go to the concert with? Frantically, your thumbs swipe up the screen, summoning the phone keyboard. 

y/n [6:50pm] WHAT

matthew! [6:50 pm] I KNOW 

matthew! [6:51 pm] I stayed out past curfew like ONCE

y/n [6:51pm] is there really no way to change their minds?? 

y/n [6:52pm] like chores?? 

matthew! [6:54 pm] no :(( I already tried everything

matthew! [6:54 pm] just go without me 

You nipped at your lips. You doubted being able to go, yourself. Your parent’s hand one stipulation when allowing you to go to the concert. You needed a ride. Neither one of your parents were available, nor did they want you on a 2 hour bus ride to the other side of town. Matthew was your only option, and now he’s gone. Your heart beats rapidly beneath your chest. What were you going to do? 

“y/n?” 

The voice shook you to reality. You could tell the voice was yelling, attempting to overpower the crashing rain and its new friends; thunder and lightning. Your eyes move to follow the voice, your poor pupils meeting with a strong beam of light. You wince, using your arm to shield the light. A car sat in front of you, oddly enough. A car you didn’t quite recognize. Though the owner of the car would supposedly beg to differ. You bent down to get a better few of this mystery owner. 

You choke. 

It was Kim Gyuvin. 

You glance around before taking a step closer. “What are you doing here?”

“What?”

“I said; What are you doing here?” Your voice grew louder at the end. 

“Oh,” He picks at the nape of his neck. “I was driving by when I saw you. Who takes the bus in this weather?”

Your eyes fall to the ground; your soaked shoes. “Nobody could pick me up.”

The blanket of your silence was overwhelmed by the rapid taps of the rain droplet hitting against Gyuvin’s windshield. 

“Do you want a ride?”

Your eyes widen, spilling from their sockets. Was he being serious? Kim Gyuvin, the man who you knew for about 48 hours in total, just offered you a ride in his car. Was he insane? Between this and his little hand-holding habit, you were starting to get the impression that personal space was not in this man’s vocabulary. 

“What? No tha—”

A sudden strike of lightning flashes down near you, the earth below rumbling and jolting in fear. You clearly did the same, yelping out a shriek as you almost lost your own balance. Fear shot down your spine faster than the lightning strike you had just witnessed. Your eyes bounce back to Gyuvin’s car. Fuck it.

“Alright, fine.”

Cold. Your clothes were cold against your skin as you leaned back in Gyuvin’s passenger seat. The seatbelt pushed the wet fabric into your skin further, making you shiver at each movement. Your fingers fumbled with the straps of your bag, eyes boring into the neon green light of his car radio. Gyuvin’s eyes darted to you, overflowing with unease. “Music?”

“Uh, it’s fine.” Your eyes wandered to the crashing raindrops outside; the sky painted a deep navy blue. Your eyes followed each streetlight that flew by your view, desperate for a distraction. 

The two of you were drowning in awkward silence, nothing but the rumbles of thunder booming in your ears. You were suffocating. What else were you supposed to do? You didn’t exactly know what to say to the boy who asked you to be his fake girlfriend. You tapped your fingers against the nylon of your school bag. 

“Those girls from the other day,” Gyuvin’s voice suddenly peaked, his thumbs drumming against his steering wheel. “They hadn’t approached me at all, today. That fake relationship thing really worked.”

You only nod. Did people really think you were a couple?

The thought makes your stomach feel funny.

“Is it really that bad?” You looked over to him. 

Gyuvin huffed a sigh, his cheeks puffing up with air. “It happens almost every day. It drives me crazy.”

You gulp, Gyuvin’s response rendering you speechless. The most popular guy at school hated being popular. Ironic. Guilt clung onto your chest again. You had to admit; you felt bad for the guy. Having people chase you down the halls on a daily basis wasn’t an easy feat. And yet, he chose to stay popular. You couldn’t help but wonder why.  

Maybe you were a little curious when it came to the school’s pretty boy. 

You choke. What an absurd thought.                              

At that moment, intrusive thoughts flooded your brain. Thoughts of Matthew and the concert; thoughts of waiting for the bus on cruel, rainy days; the fact that this was the fastest you’ve ever gotten home after a student president meeting. You took note of the heater effortlessly thawing your frozen body, the shield of the windows protecting you from the crashing rain. 

Eventually, Gyuvin pulls into your driveway. He sets his car into park, fidgeting with the buttons to unlock the car doors. Your eyes met Gyuvin’s, which were already staring back at you. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

“Wait!” You began without thinking. Gyuvin’s brows furrowed together, confused.

“I'll do it. I’ll be your fake girlfriend.”

Gyuvin’s eyes split from their sockets. He leaned forward in shock. Maybe a little excitement, too. “What?”

“But,” You lifted a finger to the sky. With the way he stared back at you, you were convinced Gyuvin forgot to breathe. You continued. “I’ll only do it if you do something for me in return, got it?”

“Yeah, anything!” Gyuvin’s heart began racing.

“Drive me everywhere.”

Drive me everywhere.

Your voice replayed in Kim Gyuvin’s head. It replayed during the lacklustre lectures of his biology class; during the repetitive drills of his basketball practice warm ups. It was odd. The presence of you in his mind made his boring day a little less boring. 

As baffling as your demand was, Gyuvin couldn’t help but accept. In exchange for a fake relationship that would drive away the fangirls he had to deal with on a daily basis, Gyuvin would drive you to and from school everyday, as well as wherever else you wanted to go. It’s a win-win situation; a way to finally escape the horrors of those obsessive fangirls. A way to finally be at peace. Besides, he always felt a little bad watching you bus home everyday.

Gyuvin’s chest bubbled up with excitement. He wasn’t quite sure why. 

“No hugging? Really?”

The two of you sat in Gyuvin’s car, scribbling down what you both thought were important ground rules to have for this peculiar fake relationship. You’ve only agreed on three so far.

Kim Gyuvin drives Park y/n to and from school

Kim Gyuvin takes Park y/n to concert

Park y/n scares creepy fangirls away >:))

You grumble. It clearly didn’t dawn on you how much of a headache this would give you. Gyuvin leaned back on the driver’s seat, exasperated. You watched as he ran a hand through his hair, his brow’s furrowing at your seeming outlandish claim. You only nibbled at your lip; unsure of what exactly was so wrong with what you said. “Yeah. No hugging. Or touching, for that matter.”

“How would anyone believe us if I can’t hug you?” Gyuvin throws his hands in the air like a big baby. 

“I dunno? I’m just not a touchy person—It’s not a big deal.” You shrug, swatting away his concerns. Gyuvin springs up from his laid back stance, snatching the notebook away from your unassuming hands. You stay stunned, brows furrowing at what he was doing. You watch as he scribbles profusely before facing the journal your way the minute he finishes. 

Kim Gyuvin and Park y/n MUST hold hands (to avoid suspicion!)

The notebook drops onto your lap as you gaze back at Gyuvin, an unamused stare lining your face. “Really?”

“What? Holding hands isn’t that bad!” Gyuvin grins. “It’s not like we haven’t done it, either.”

Heat creeps up to your cheek. His remark earns a punch to his shoulder.

“Are you obsessed with my hands or something?” You scowl. 

This time, it was Gyuvin’s turn to grow absolutely flustered. His cheeks grew into a deep red, the wash of colour spreading all the way to the shell of his ear. He coughed out a lump from his throat as picked at the nape of his neck. “What? No—shut up!”

Gyuvin gulped, slightly turning away from you. “It’s a nice middle ground.”

You sigh, your shoulders sinking into the plush of his passenger seat. “Fine.”

You never thought you’d be spending your Wednesday afternoon eating ice cream atop the trunk of Kim Gyuvin’s car. 

It happened seemingly out of nowhere. One minute, you were sitting peacefully in the passenger’s seat. Your mind wanders absently as you hum along to the faint radio emitting from Gyuvin’s crummy speakers. Your windows rolled down halfway; just enough for the wind to graze against your face, to refresh your skin.

The next minute? Kim Gyuvin gasps at a sight on the road. With the way his eyes spilled out of their sockets, his jaw grazing his lap, and his finger jutting out before him, you would think there was a bear on the road, or something. Gyuvin begins to literally howl at the sight, his figure bouncing in his seat like a kid with candy. You finally look over to what the puppy boy was currently losing his mind over. 

It was an ice cream stand. On the side of the road. It wasn’t candy, but it was close enough. You rolled your eyes. 

“Wanna get ice cream?” Gyuvin’s puppy eyes glimmered with whimsy and wonder; you were at a loss for words. You picked at your lips, eyes avoiding his. “I dunno. I gotta be home soon—”

“But these ice cream stands always change locations—and their stuff’s the best!” You felt the car slowly move to the side of the road before coming to a slow halt. There was no point in arguing now. Gyuvin shifted the car in park. “We’ll be quick, I promise!”

You glanced up at Gyuvin’s eyes once more. They bore into you, glistening in a way that made your heart melt. Damnit. 

“Alright, fine.”

“YAYYY THANK YOUUU!” Gyuvin yelped at the top of his lungs as he sprung out of the car. He didn’t forget to dash to your side of the car, opening your door for you before practically skipping his way to the ice cream stand. 

You sat on the roof of his car’s trunk, your knees tucked up against your chest as your arms hugged them close. Your fingers loosely latch onto your cone of chocolate ice cream, the frosty exterior stopping you from holding onto the cone with a firm grip. Gyuvin sat beside you, leaning back with his legs sprawled over the trunk’s surface. He brought his mango-flavoured cone up to his lips, about to take his first bite before latching his attention onto you. “Aren’t you gonna eat?”

You gazed up at him. “Yeah, yeah. I will.”

It was peculiar; the way you couldn’t take your eyes off of him. He didn’t look different in a physical sense; same hazelnut hair, same basketball team jacket hugging his frame, same broad shoulders and tall physique. Yet, something was off. 

Kim Gyuvin was supposed to be the campus pretty boy. This elusive celebrity of the high school hallway. Completely untouchable to the masses. This Kim Gyuvin, however, was nothing of the sort. He was bubbly and bright. He was clumsy and jumpy. His energy worked overtime, it almost amazed you. He didn’t seem unattainable at all.

It was almost cute. 

You choke. What were you thinking? Kim Gyuvin wasn’t cute. Were you crazy?

“y/n!” The touch of a finger poking against your cheek pushed you back to reality. Your eyes once again met Gyuvin’s, now with a mad expression lining his face. “Hurry up and eat—I was waiting for you!”

You finally lick your ice cream cone, stupefied by the creamy consistency and perfectly sweet flavour. The treat melted in your mouth; it was addicting. You couldn’t stop eating it. In your peripheral vision you watched as Gyuvin watched you, a proud grin lining his face. “So? What do you think?”

“...Yummy,” You mutter in between bites. Gyuvin only chuckles. You watch as his puppy eyes fold into crescent moons and your heart melts faster than the ice cream in your hands. With his free hand, Gyuvin pokes out his index finger before lightly tapping the tip of your nose. 

“You’re so cute, y/n.”

Your heart performed backflips at his words. Maybe you were starting to prefer this bubbly Kim Gyuvin. 

Sweat beaded off your forehead. Nervousness drilled through your skin. 

The reason? Kim Gyuvin, who was currently standing outside of your classroom door. 

You knew that today was your first “official” day of the scheme. Hell, you planned the whole scheme out last night on call. Nevertheless, fear shot down your spine. You’ve seen Gyuvin’s fangirls first hand—you knew they wouldn’t handle this new relationship lightly. You weren’t sure if you’d make it out of today alive.  

Worst of all? It seems Gyuvin was actually enjoying this. 

Gyuvin’s shoulder leaned against the door frame as students funnelled through the narrow exit. Girls glance up in shock, whispering to their friends at the sight of the infamous Kim Gyuvin waiting for someone at the door. Waiting for someone that wasn’t them. 

Gyuvin’s eyes finally meet yours, a mischievous grin stretching across his face as waved at you. You glare back at him, looking around for a clear path before stomping over to him. 

“What are you doing here?” You seethed through your teeth, jutting a finger at his chest. 

Gyuvin only grinned. “I came to visit you before practice, baby!” 

The nickname summoned glares from all around you. You were done for. Your voice got quieter. “Didn’t we agree on meeting in the car? So I don’t, you know, die?” 

“That would take too long,” Gyuvin waved his hand. “I just wanted to see you.” 

Your cheeks flare up at his words. You frantically sweep your hands, gesturing to him to leave. “Well, you see me now, right? So shoo! Before more people kill me with their eyes.” 

“Alright, alright,” Gyuvin dragged on his words before his fingers laced in between yours. You jolt, most definitely not ready for the stupid stunt he was about to pull. 

Suddenly, Gyuvin gently cupped your hand in his, his thumb softly swiping against your skin as he lifted your hand up to his lips. Air stops right before it reaches your windpipe; you couldn’t breathe. Your heartbeat surged with energy as your eyes widened. He looks back at you one last time before grazing his lips against the heated, flushed surface of your skin. What was Kim Gyuvin thinking?

“Wish me luck at practice, love!”

You choked. Red paint smeared on your back, drawing out the image of a target. The stares of every girl in your homeroom burned through your skin. You glanced up at Gyuvin, a mischievous grin now sweeping across his face. A grin that calms you down in seconds. Odd, considering it's the same grin which sent your heart through turbulence just minutes before.

Maybe Kim Gyuvin is an idiot. 

Maybe he took it a little too far with that stunt he pulled. 

He couldn’t help it, though. He saw it in a movie once, and always wanted to try it out. Besides, your reaction was priceless. The way your eyes shoot out of their sockets, your jaw hanging to the floor. 

The way your cheeks flared up in minutes, like a milk bun in a toaster preheated way too high. The way you nibbled on your knuckle from your stress. The way your eyes glistened beneath the school’s building lights as you shot him a deathly glare. He could have sworn you carried a galaxy within them. 

Gyuvin couldn’t ignore how small your hand was compared to his, either. 

Soon enough, Gyuvin’s heart was pounding through his chest. Images of you clouded his vision. 

Gosh, you’re adorable. 

Gyuvin practically skipped on his way to practise.

Your stomps of fury echoed throughout the hallway leading up to your school's gym. The impact earned concerned stares from the students passing by, but you didn’t pay them any mind. You were laser-focused on one thing; getting answers from Kim Gyuvin. That cheeky asshole. 

What kind of stunt was that? Kissing your hand in front of the sea of fangirls at his disposal? Did he want you to die? With the way your heart was racing, you felt as though you were going to die anyway. You just chalked it up to your rage.

It couldn’t explain the way your cheeks ignited in flames, though.

Your frame burst through the gymnasium doors, the boom bouncing off every surface of the barren room. The facility was practically empty, save for a few students dressed clad in their gym strips and packing their bags to go home for the day. You counted maybe a handful of them standing around, gazing at you like a deer in headlights, but it didn’t matter. You were here for one person, and one person only. 

“Gyuvin!” Your voice leaped out of your chest without thinking. You gulp, watching as Gyuvin’s teammates slowly turn towards you, Gawking at you like some foreign creature of the wild. Gyuvin catches your figure in his gaze shortly after, a small smile hooking onto the corner of his lips. “y/n?”

“I need to talk to you.” Your voice softened this time around. A faux smile lined your lips as you made your way towards him.

“You miss me already?” Gyuvin innocently asked, a not-so-innocent grin smacked across his face. You only rolled his eyes. “Oh shush! What the hell was that stunt you pulled just—”

“Wait! These guys don’t know yet!”Gyuvin suddenly nudged your shoulder gently, interrupting you. Pressing a finger to his lips, he tilted his head towards his friends, his voice hushed. “They think we’re really dating!”

“So?” You crossed your arms, your voice meeting his.

“So, we gotta act like a couple!” Gyuvin’s hand gently traced the outside of your arm, slowly falling until he reached your fingertips. He clung onto your fingers loosely, the act making your heart race. “Remember the deal?”

Suddenly, a cog in your brain switched. All eyes were on you, each student curious what would happen next. All attention; laser focused on you. You weren’t looking for an answer, anymore. You wanted to make Kim Gyuvin pay for what he did; for drowning you in a sea of embarrassment. You wanted revenge. 

He wanted an act? Oh, you were gonna give him one, alright.

“I mean—Of course I missed you, baby!” Your voice sang sweet like honey. As you raise yourself onto your tippy-toes, your face inches closer to him. You watch as Gyuvin’s eyes spill from their sockets and his face plumps pink. He’s stunned to his core; you’ve turned him to stone. Your free hand cups the side of his face. A smirk lined your lips as they graze against Gyuvin’s cheek in a sweet kiss. 

Sweet, sweet revenge. 

You step away from the stunned puppy, clinging onto his fingers. You made sure not to miss the stunned faces of Gyuvin’s teammates, their jaws grazing the floor. And who could forget Gyuvin’s reaction? You certainly couldn’t, with the way his face drowned in red, his hands cupping over his mouth. You send him a flirty wink. “I’ll be in the car. Don’t keep me waiting!”

You skipped your way out of the gym, totally ignoring your racing heartbeat. It was just from the adrenaline, anyway. 

“What happened to Matthew, sweetie?” Your mom tilted her head to the side. 

You picked at your fingers, eyes darting between your socks and the coffee table just paces beside them. “He couldn’t make it tonight. Gyuvin offered to take me instead.”

Currently, you and Gyuvin are sitting on your living room couch, facing your parents. Barely facing, anyways; you have never been more nervous in your life than at this very moment. A gulp pushed through your chest. You weren’t fully sure why the campus pretty boy was currently in your home. You just wanted him to pick you up right before you had to leave for the concert that evening. Instead, he insisted on coming half an hour early to introduce himself to your parents. Was he crazy?

All of this felt so formal. Like it was a real date. It made your stomach swirl in on itself.

As his forehead proceeded to shed bullets, Gyuvin clumsily shot up from his seat, jutting a hand towards your dad. “My name is Kim Gyuvin, sir! I am y/n’s classmate and I happened to—uh—have tickets to the same concert as her—I have no ulterior motives with your daughter sir, we are just friends—” Gyuvin spat out in a rushed, single breath. Your body cringes as you watch from the sidelines. Your father hesitates, his brows furrowing as he takes the hand of the lost puppy. 

“Alright, then. Have her home by 11,” Your dad simply says. 

Gyuvin’s chest puffs up, determination swelling in his cheeks. “Yes, sir!”

You gaze up at him from your seat on the couch. The way his brunette head gleamed beneath your living room lights. You watched as his hands moved from fidgeting with his belt loops, to aggressively brushing through his hair, to clinging behind his back. You watched as his eyes burned with a passion you’ve never seen before. As if he was committed to making the best first impression to your parents. A weird feeling bubbled up your chest. 

You shot up from your seat and b-lined for the kitchen. “I’ll get everyone some water!” 

Escaping to the solitude of your kitchen, you swing open the cabinet door. You reach for the first cup you find before drowning it underneath the faucet water. The white noise of the water pressure flooded your mind. Your weird, weird mind. 

“Is that your new boyfriend?” The voice of your mother popped in your ears, nearly making you spit out your water. 

Boyfriend? Kim Gyuvin? Was your mother crazy?

You took another gulp of water. Your mother was only half wrong, you suppose. You were technically his fake girlfriend. But that wasn’t the same. Still, the thought made your heart race. 

“What? Mom—no!” You quickly brush the thought away. Or try to, anyway. “We’re just friends. It’s not like that.” 

You keep eye-contact with your socks as your mother’s voice peaks up again. “That’s too bad. I like him for you.”

You picked at your lips. Why was your heart beating so fast? “What do you mean?”

“The boy seems sweet. Not many guys your age are willing to drive someone around like that. He seemed so eager to meet us, too—that's rare. Plus, he's handsome!” Your mother sent you a soft smile. “Boys like that are hard to come across.”

Images of Gyuvin rush to your mind. Images you couldn’t swat away easily. With no final words, your mom slips out of the kitchen, leaving you to drown in your thoughts. 

It was odd, to say the least. 

Music was blasting in Gyuvin’s ears. It was blasting so hard, in fact, that Gyuvin could feel the bass ruminate in his chest. And when there wasn’t any music, the screams of fangirls filled in those gaps. Neon lights blared like sirens from the front of the stage; the brightness almost hurting his eyes. He was drowning in a sea of people; fans dedicated to the music of whatever band was playing before him. There were a multitude of distractions in front of him. 

Yet, Kim Gyuvin still had his eyes on you, standing beside him in the crowd.

The way your eyes sparkled the moment the band played your favourite song. The way you threw your arms in the air, dancing to the beat of the music and singing the lyrics with all your heart. The way your smile never failed to brighten up the dim concert hall. It was all Gyuvin could focus on. 

Gyuvin couldn’t keep his eyes off of you as his heart beat beneath his chest, overpowering the pressure from the music around him. The heat creeping under his skin could have easily been chalked up to the crowd of people pushing up against his body, but Gyuvin had a feeling that wasn’t it. The culprit was you, taking over every thought he had in his mind. 

What if it wasn’t fake?

You and him. Park y/n and Kim Gyuvin. What if it was real?

Gyuvin’s stomach flipped in on itself. 

He couldn’t help but laugh as a stranger’s shoulder bumped into him, jolting him back to reality. There was no way you’d want to be with him. This was all just one big lie, anyway. Gyuvin was just reaching for the stars. 

Maybe front row tickets weren’t the smartest idea.

As expensive of a purchase as they were, many people were still able to afford them. As a result, you were swimming in a crowd of avid, committed fans—and you could barely float. Don’t be fooled, you loved this rare opportunity to see your favourite band perform live. Nevertheless, standing in this crowd was exhausting. 

Soon enough, the concert had entered its third and final set of the night. But rather than losing their energy, like what was expected to happen at the end of the night, the crowd gained energy. Slowly, the people around you surged with energy; jumping up and down, shoving left and right. Your shoulders roughly crashed against those of your neighbours, but nobody noticed. Everyone was too busy enjoying themselves. 

You, however, weren’t. With each strike against your frame, fear shocked through your body. You felt closed in, trapped. You held your limbs close to your chest, out of fear that you’d hurt yourself. You needed a way out. 

Suddenly, the face of a certain someone appeared in your mind. A certain someone that you couldn't quite find at the moment. 

Where was Gyuvin?

You whip your head around, eyes frantically scanning the blurry, messy crowd. No one resembled the tall puppy boy you grew so familiar with. Your eyes could practically dry out with how hard you worked on them, searching for Gyuvin in a heated frenzy, but he was nowhere to be found. You were enclosed by waves of strangers, not one face looked vaguely familiar to you. Your breaths began to quicken as fear shot down your spine. Your body froze on the spot—a deer in headlights. 

Without warning, the touch of a hand grazed against your wrist. You didn’t have time to react before the hand clung onto you, pulling your figure to your right. Soon later, you crashed onto the tense surface of someone’s chest, their body heat swiftly igniting your own. 

You glance up, your eyes meeting those puppy eyes you know and love. 

Kim Gyuvin looked down at your figure, his gaze overflowing with worry and fear. Your heart finally begins to calm down, your mind finally clearing. You watch as his free hand reaches up to touch you, but it hesitates at the last second. The hand that clung onto yours, however, never dared to let go. 

“Stay close, okay? I don’t wanna lose you.”

You gulped, butterflies fluttering at the pit of your stomach. Only now did you fully register how close you two were. You were snug against his chest, faces just centimetres apart. You gazed up at his figure; the way his adam’s apple bobbed up and down, the way his once brunette hair blazed a cool indigo underneath the blaring stage lights. The way that his eyes collected stars as they hung onto you—only you. His breath wisps onto your skin, his shoulders effortlessly caging your frame in his. Your skin suddenly felt hot, flushed. 

There was something different about Gyuvin, tonight. You couldn’t put your finger on it.

You didn’t know what came over you, or what monster had possessed you just now, but you found yourself resting your head on Gyuvin’s chest for the rest of the concert. It felt safe there; a part of you never wanted to leave. 

“Thank you,” your voice didn’t reach past a whisper.

10:48pm. The sun retired beneath the sky. Stars peeked through the ebony fabric. The small glimmers of light you did see were in the form of streetlamps, quickly passing you as Gyuvin drove you home. 

It was night-time. It was dangerously close to your curfew. Yet you didn’t want to leave. 

Gyuvin’s car came to a soft halt as he drove into your driveway. He brought you home right before the hour of your curfew hits, like the gentleman he was. It made your stomach flip in on itself; made your head spiral in directions you didn’t deem possible before. What was Kim Gyuvin doing to you?

The air was tense, quiet. Neither of you spoke as you exited the car, the light outside your house cascading over your figures like liquid gold. You watched as Gyuvin’s eyes grazed through the gravel of your driveway; the leaves of your front yard hedge—but never on you. Though you did the same, it still made your heart sink a little. Was this really the end of the night?

“Hey,” Your voice peaked beneath the silence. “Thanks—for tonight.”

Finally, his eyes land on you. His hand reached up to cling on the nape of his neck. “I mean, you made me come here.”

“Hey! You started this, you know.” You roll your eyes to the stars above, crossing your arms and leaning back on the side of Gyuvin’s car.

Gyuvin’s eyes stayed on you as his figure inched closer. He shoved his hands in his pockets, the cool air condensing his breath into puffs of air every exhale he takes.  You felt your heart race beneath your chest again, forgetting to breathe, yourself, as Gyuvin rests a hip beside you. His eyes folded up into crescent moons. 

“And I don’t regret a thing.” His voice was soft, fragile. It made your heart leap.

It was as if the space around had faded away, leaving only you and Kim Gyuvin in its wake. This world was yours and yours alone. You felt your body shifting closer and closer to Gyuvin’s frame. Your figure slowly encases itself in his warmth; his body heat. Your eyes darted back and forth between your shoes and Gyuvin’s eyes. Butterflies bombarded your stomach. 

You thought back to your mother’s words from earlier that night. 

What if everything was real? What if you had something more?

Adrenaline shot through your chest. It was an absurd thought. But, you clearly weren’t thinking straight.

Your eyes latch onto Gyuvin’s lips. Your hands fiddled with the hem of your jacket. You took note of Gyuvin’s arm, reaching out to you before hesitating, eventually leaning on the roof of his car. His eyes lured yours in, holding them hostage as your hands developed a mind of their own; resting atop of Gyuvin’s shoulders. With your heart springing from your chest, your bodies move closer. Gyuvin’s palm slides up against your cheek as your eyes flutter shut. You felt the puffs of his warm breath graze against your skin. Sure, maybe you weren’t thinking straight. You haven’t been since the concert, but for once, you haven’t felt more sure about anything in your life. 

“y/n?”

The voice of your father jolts the two of you back to reality. You jump back, a wall of awkward space slicing through you. Your head darts over to your house’s front door, where you found your dad in his sleep robe and pyjama bottoms, leaning against the door frame. “What are you doing out here? It’s late. Get inside.”

You and Gyuvin simultaneously cleared your throats, your eyes dodging each other as you scramble to collect yourselves. You and Gyuvin said your hesitant goodbyes as you trekked into your home. 

Gosh, you’re so stupid.

Kim Gyuvin couldn’t move out of your driveway. His figure was frozen, immobile as he sat in the driver’s seat. His hands hung loosely around the stagnant steering wheel as his mind ran in circles. 

Kim Gyuvin is an idiot.

He was rash and reckless; a complete fool. He should’ve known better than to try and kiss you. He knew this relationship—this fake relationship, was nothing but a complex business venture. He knew that no real feelings were supposed to mix in this cauldron of lies. Things would turn messy if they did. You two had a simple deal; he would drive you around, while you drove away those crazy fangirls he had seemed to forget about. 

He also knew that none of that seemed to matter anymore. The more time he spent with you, the more he focused on you. You had his heart on lockdown; and he didn’t mind it one bit. 

He also knew that you could feel it, too. The way you leaned into him, your hands clinging onto his shoulders, pulling him in. The way you gazed up at him, your eyes glimmering golden from the streetlights above. Maybe it was too early to tell, but the excitement was already buzzing through his chest.

Maybe he had a chance. 

There was only one way he could find out. 

Sitting up straight, Gyuvin shifted his car in reverse before slowly backing out of your driveway. He opted to wait for another day, seeing how late it was in the evening. But that didn’t stop the adrenaline from coursing through his body. 

Kim Gyuvin is an idiot.

An idiot who has fallen for you.

“You almost WHAT?” Matthew’s voice jumped out of your phone like a fish out of water. You dug your head in your hands, a million different emotions rushing through your mind. You spun around in your desk chair, getting dizzy as you stared up at the ceiling. It didn’t matter though; your mind was already spinning. Spinning with thoughts of Kim Gyuvin. 

“We almost kissed.” You muttered, your head sinking onto the surface of your desk. “When he dropped me off yesterday. We just started talking outside his car. One thing led to another and—God, I wanna die.”

A series of incoherent mumbles erupted from Matthew’s line. “What stopped you? Why didn’t you just kiss him?”

“My dad caught us outside.” You groan, your fingers digging into your temples. “Besides, I was just being stupid. I shouldn’t have tried to kiss him.”

Matthew finally calmed down. You could hear him munching on a snack through the phone. “Why’s that?”

Wasn’t it obvious? You weren’t supposed to be with Kim Gyuvin. This relationship was supposed to be fake; a strict business plan. You had no real chance with Kim Gyuvin—he was the campus pretty boy, after all. You huff a sigh from your chest. 

“I can’t be with him. Everything we had—it’s all fake. A fake relationship so he could get away from those crazy fangirls, and I could stop taking the bus in the rain. We can’t just—”

“Do you like him?”

Matthew’s words cut through yours like a knife. You choke. Stubbornly, your mind ventures out to images of Gyuvin Images of Gyuvin’s puppy dog eyes—those very same eyes that would fold up into heart-wrenching crescent moons every time he smiled. You thought about his touchy tendencies and the ways he made your heart race. From booping your nose to kissing the back of your hand. You thought about how you first met; how he clung onto your hand for dear life. How you thought it was weird then, but now you didn’t seem to mind. No one seemed to make your heart flutter the same way Kim Gyuvin did. 

“Yeah.” You heard yourself answer without much thought. Heat creeped up to your cheeks.

“Then none of that matters!”

Your stomach flips in on itself. Matthew was right. You liked Kim Gyuvin; and you weren’t going to let anything get in your way. 

“I’ll call you back, Matthew.” You quickly swipe at your phone.

“GO GET YOUR MANS—” Matthew’s voice peaked through the mic before you hastily ended the call. 

You were more than disarrayed when it came to getting ready to leave the house. A haphazardly draped sweater hung over your figure. You didn’t bother to change out of your pyjama shorts as you slid on your house slippers. You weren’t fully sure if they were matching, either; you didn’t have the time to care. With your stare blazing with determination, you only cared about one thing; making your way to Kim Gyuvin. 

With more strength than you anticipated you swing your front door open, immediately greeting the harsh welcome of the afternoon sunlight and crisp breeze. After wincing at the light, you look up.

You choke. 

It wasn’t just the weather that greeted you with an extra shock factor this afternoon. With a rose in one hand, and his other hand balled up into a fist in the air—you assumed he was about to knock on your door—a figure stood before you. His puppy dog eyes stared back at you with determination as your heart performed backflips beneath your chest. 

Kim Gyuvin was already there; at your front door, waiting for you. 

“Gyuvin?!” You jolt, stepping out of the house and sealing the front door behind you shut. Kim Gyuvin towered over you, his tall frame shielding you from the blaring afternoon sun. But the warmth on your face stayed, all the same. You gulp, immediately aware of your less than tasteful current appearance. You swipe at your hair, taming any potential fly aways before fiddling with the handle of your zipper. You winced in embarrassment. “What are you doing here?”

Gyuvin nervously scans his surroundings before looking down at the rose in his hand. He pushes it forward; towards you. 

“I, um—I thought of you.”

Your heart simultaneously surged with energy and melted into a puddle; were you having a heart attack? Your fingers grazed the rose, your chest buzzing with a feeling you couldn’t explain. You part your lips to say something, but it seems Gyuvin wasn’t finished. 

“I haven’t stopped thinking about you, actually. Ever since I met you and randomly held your hand, I can’t stop thinking about you.”

You gulp. “Gyuvin—”

The puppy boy gazed down at his shoes, the shell of his ear turning pink. “Maybe this is selfish, but I don’t like having to use some weird, intricate plan to spend time with you. I wanna drive you around, but not just because it’s a rule we discussed on a piece of paper. Everything in me is telling me that I need to be with you. Like—really be with you.”

“Gyuvin—” 

“I know you probably don’t wanna hear this. I just wanted to get it off my chest. I  guess I should’ve planned this out more, sorry about that—”

“Gyuvin!” You watched as the puppy boy jumped, his eyes collecting stars in broad daylight; it amazed you. 

Gosh, you couldn’t take it anymore. 

It all happened in mere seconds. Your heart danced beneath your chest as it heaved with energy. You were a balloon seconds before popping. Your limbs gained rebellious minds of their own, your legs inching closer to Gyuvin’s frame as your arms reached out to cling onto his jacket. Gyuvin only gazes back at you, his figure not daring to step away from you as he lets you pull him closer. A thread of space hung in the balance of your faces. With your mind splitting in different directions, and your heart finally leading your body, you squeeze your eyes shut; 

Capturing your lips in his. 

Candy. Kim Gyuvin tasted like candy as your lips melted into his. Slowly but surely, your figures began to move. Gyuvin’s touch was soft, fragile. His arm gently snakes around the small of your waist as the other supports your head by the palm. Your hands slip on either side of Gyuvin’s face, pulling him closer. He was snug against your frame—so close that he could feel the butterflies erupting from the pit of your swirling stomach. So close that he could touch the heart that was beating rapidly. Rapidly for him. Nevertheless, you wouldn’t dare to let him go. 

Your lips hesitantly pluck apart, both of you torn between reaching out for another kiss and taking a much needed deep breath. Your chest heaves as you glance up at him, your face drenched in flustered heat. Kim Gyuvin wasn’t any better, with his face smeared in red blush. It was gut-wrenchingly adorable. You gulp, still breathless. 

“I wanna be with you, too.”

Gyuvin only gapes at you, completely stunned as you continue. “From the moment I met you, you never failed to amaze me. Everything with you has been so spontaneous and fun—it’s all so new to me. But I don’t hate it. I wanna experience more with you, Gyuvin. I wanna be with you—for real, this time.”

The silence, accompanied by the squawks of the birds in the sky, drops you into reality as your skin runs hot from embarrassment. Gyuvin only gulps, his hold on your waist tightening ever so slightly. His eyes gaze into yours, practically forming into hearts as he pulls you close. 

“God—I like you so much, y/n” Gyuvin’s chest buzzed with excitement as he peppered small kisses all over your face. Your heated, flushed face. You reach up to play with his brunette hair, a smile staining your cheeks. 

“I like you more, dummy.”

Kim Gyuvin leaned against the doorframe of your classroom. 

You skipped your way over to your boyfriend as the clamour of students packed up their belongings for the day. Eyes of every girl in your class darted towards you and Kim Gyuvin. It was the school’s latest hot topic; the campus pretty boy and the stingy class president—a match made in heaven.

It was as if your bodies were made for one another; the way you folded into each other’s arms with immense ease. Gyuvin’s arm snaked around your waist as you clung onto the nape of his neck, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. 

“You got practice?” You ask after pulling away. 

“Yeah.” Gyuvin huffed. “Just wanted to see you!”

“You’ll be late, Gyuvin.” You cross your arms, cocking an eyebrow. “You’re not just trying to stall and eventually skip, are you?”

Gyuvin only dragged on a long, indecisive hum before you sent a fist to his shoulder. “Go to practice!”

“Okay, fine!” Gyuvin bends down and places a quick peck on your cheek. Even as your boyfriend, Gyuvin never failed to make your heart flutter. “I’ll see you later, baby!”

As you retired back to your desk to retrieve your things, you felt the stares of various fangirls burning through you. But they didn’t matter. Unfortunately for them; you had Kim Gyuvin’s heart on lockdown, and you wouldn’t have it any other way!

#zerobaseone #zb1 #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 x reader #zerobaseone gyuvin #zb1 gyuvin #zerobaseone kim gyuvin #zb1 kim gyuvin #kim gyuvin #kim gyuvin x reader #zb1 kim gyuvin x reader #zerobaseone kim gyuvin x reader #fanfiction #kpop fanfiction #writing #my writing #fluff #fake dating #reverse grumpy x sunshine #hinaaspanda

[rumunstelle]

Manager of my Heart

Warnings : None

Summary : As the manager of Luxiem, you were responsible with managing these boys. Who would've know these bkys would develop... An interest in you..?

(In this fanfic, NIJISANJI is an ACTUAL office, where all the liver's go to, to stream :PP)

In the bustling heart of NIJISANJI EN's headquarters, there was a palpable sense of excitement as Luxiem prepared for their upcoming anniversary stream. The members being Luca, Shu, Ike, Mysta, and Vox

They were well-known for their charisma and charm, but behind the scenes, they shared a common, unspoken distraction. Their interest for you, their manager

You were the definition of efficiency, your head always buried in your planner, phone pressed to your ear as you coordinated events, sponsorships, and media appearances. Your obliviousness to anything not but your schedule was almost comical at most

As they gathered in the conference room to discuss the stream's logistics, the members exchanged knowing looks. Each harbored a gentle admiration for you, appreciating your dedication and often, your unintentional neglect of their not-so-subtle hints of affection

Shu, more reserved, showed his affection through helping you when your in need. Like, helping you with the technical issues. Your not the brightest when it comes to technical stuff, but luckily Shu was there to happily lend you a helping hand!

Ike, the dear novelist, attempted to engage in deep conversations about books and art, hoping to catch your interest. Even though, you always engaged, you were to caught up with work to notice the deeper intentions behind his words

Luca, threw flirtatious comments your way. But, in a very dorky way “(Y/n), if I had a stream for every time you crossed my mind, I’d never be offline" You chuckled, scribbling notes without missing a beat. “Make sure those streams are scheduled properly, Luca. We wouldn’t want your fans missing out on any of that charm”

Mysta, helping out with anything he can, just to help you with your work, and not stressing us much about your work, yet sometimes his 'help' makes more problems for you. Yet, you still really appreciate him trying to help as best as he can!

Vox, definitely more protective of you when you guys are out. Whether you like it or not, he'll definitely accompany you when your out and about. He doesn't want any creeps to go near you

And despite their efforts, you remained blissfully unaware of there hints of affection. To you, these were just endearing quirks of your talented team, nothing more, nothing less

The anniversary stream was a roaring success, filled with laughter, games, and an outpouring of support from fans

As the night drew to a close, you gathered them together, your eyes sparkling with how proud you are of them!

“You all did wonderfully tonight!” You beamed, your genuine appreciation warming their hearts. “I don’t know what I’d do without such a dedicated team!"

As they all shared a celebratory toast, the members exchanged glances once more. Perhaps it was better this way, their feelings a quiet undercurrent that strengthened their bond rather than complicating it

After all, in the whirlwind world of vtubing, some secrets were best kept just between the lines of a planner and the quiet moments before the stream went live

#luxiem x reader #nijisanji x reader #ike eveland x reader #luca kaneshiro x reader #mysta rias x reader #nijisanji #vox akuma x reader #vtuber x reader #nijisanji fics #nijisanji fluff #luxiem imagines #luxiem fluff #nijisanji imagines #luxiem #vox x reader #mysta x reader #shu x reader #shu yamino x reader #shu yamino #ike eveland #vox akuma #mysta rias #luca kaneshiro #luxiem fics #luxiem scenarios #luxiem reactions #nijisanji fanfics #fluff

[jalenay]

Nothing's Wrong with Dale - Publishing Update May 4 2024

So my work work is starting to relax - it'll be 'normal' working hours after May 15, but i'm manifesting some early additional free time (by ignoring some of the things i still have left to do) and i thought i'd give an update on my current NWWD plan to fill you guys in (if anyone wants to know) and to motivate myself to, you know, do it.

let me know what you think and if you have any questions! or if there's anything else you want to know!

So the overall plan is as follows:

First Rough Edit - this is basically just changing the POV from 2nd POV to 3rd POV. This is very tedious and currently what I'm doing right now. I'm also making a list as I go for high level updates/changes i want to make. Just thinking about the story as a whole and what tweaks i want to make now that the whole thing is finally done (primarily moving exposition around, if there's anything extra i can remove, timing of when certain things are discussed, and so on).

My Main Edit - this will be more time consuming but probably more fun as i do my main revise and edit of the story as a whole. i'll likely print the entire story out, make edits on hard copy, and then type up all the edits. I will also probably be sending the updated chapters to my main beta, for her opinion. (this would be the person i first texted about Dale in Dec 2021, she deserves first look lol)

Editor - After I'm happy with what I've done, i'll send the entire thing over to my editors, the main ones who worked on DSM. This will likely take a good amount of time (DSM took one month) but in many ways involves less effort from me lol. Just nerves.

Cover, Self-publishing Details - while my editors have the manuscript, I'll be narrowing down what I want the cover to look like and hiring a cover artist. (i've got a short list of artists right now, but i'll probably continue to refine that). I'm bad a visualizing covers and so this will be hard for me, although i have some basic ideas. i'll need to gather reference photos too and then work with the artist. I also want to publish more widely than just Amazon and will hopefully get DSM out to other places as well as a test run before NWWD. Look into more marketing? This is the most miscellaneous of the steps.

Process Edits - actually go through all the edits and notes given to me by my editor. This takes a lot of time (and is mentally taxing - no one likes to read pages of people telling you what you need to fix about what you wrote even if its overall extremely helpful and necessary)

Finalizing - I'll send the edited version to my first beta and another ARC reader/friend. I'll work on the formatting for the book. Coordinating where it will be published and when.

Publishing!

This is a loose list of steps that I mostly defined right now, but are similar to what i did with DSM. As i said, I'm in step one, currently just finished Chapter 25 of 36 of that rough edit.

I'll try to provide some updates on the process at it moves along, if people are interested in hearing about that. I'll most likely keep those updates on this blog, along with any other publishing specific commentary. if any one has any questions or thoughts on the whole thing, please feel free to send them to this blog or comment on this post.

I'm very excited to really dig into publishing NWWD and looking forward to sharing it with you!

Thanks to everyone for all their support - I wouldn't even be considering this (i probably wouldn't have even had a finished draft) with you!

#self-publishing #nothing's wrong with dale #writblr #writing #NWWD status #so excited to be making progress again #long road ahead but its gonna end with me having a full book published #so i'm beyond thrilled #publishing

[fazedlight]

Cameo had a sale and I couldn't resist! Transcript below the cut. Twitter link is here.

Hi Melissa! Name twins. Thanks so much for requesting this cameo, I hope you had a really happy holiday if you celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope it was a really nice one. And thanks for these great questions! When I directed the episode of Supergirl that I directed, on shows like that, you don't typically have too much control over the story or things like that. It was really to make things easier to shoot, you would change something. Or if I had an idea that would tie in with a location that I chose - which, that was something I had control over, which location we used for Lex Luthor's house, we did a whole location scout. So you get to choose those spots, and how it will look on camera. That being said, every decision I made, it was a collaboration with the directory of photography, it was a collaborations with the [Associate Directors], it was a collaboration with costumes and wardrobe and everyone to make sure everything would work on the day we were shooting whatever scene. Also those superhero shows are really complicated to shoot as you can imagine, with the action, the special effects, the stunts. So really, I had control beforehand of very little, but then on the day you have control on what you say to the actors and principle actors on set with where you want to go, but also you're trying to match the tone of the show that's been established, that there's been multiple seasons of. So that's fun! And then after the fact in the editing room, you really get to collaborate 1:1 with the editor to try to make the episode more your own and give it your own voice, even though it lives in this existing world that's been established. I loved it, and it was really great, and we had the best crew, so I worked with really awesome people that I loved!

And with my book, the process of writing with my sister, we kind of came up with the idea together. Jessica is a writer, she's a much better writer than me, we'd kind of come up with ideas together, brainstorm, she'd kinda go, I'd help finesse, we had a fantastic editor. But storywise we really came up with the world and mythology together. And I go by Melissa in life! Actually, everyone on set at Supergirl called me Mel. I think because one of the stunt coordinators, Simon, started calling me Mel, and then all of a sudden I became Mel. Which, never in my life was I ever a Mel, suddenly on Supergirl I was a Mel - I was fine with it! You're awesome too, thanks for the support, thanks for reaching out, I send all my love!

#real talk I was dying to know if she actually goes by Mel or not lol #anyway she's fantastic #mel stuff

[obstinatecondolement]

This is something I did look into a few years ago without any luck, but does anyone know of anywhere I could buy a Navajo floor spindle from a Native seller? I can find any amount of them for sale from various general spinning/weaving/etc. suppliers, but I am reluctant to buy a tool relating to an indigenous crafting tradition from Some Company (or even Some Etsy Shop run by a non-Native) that does not remotely benefit the (very marginalised) community that the tool originates from.

I am a hobbyist spinner who does not make any money from spinning, and would not try to exoticise the fact that I was doing a Navajo style of spinning or position myself as an expert in it. I am interested by using a large spindle supported on the floor to spin largely because it looks more ergonomic and I am interested in learning styles of spinning that are new to me.

Also though, if anyone is aware of if the general consensus among Navajo craftspeople is that they would rather that non-Natives do not try to learn this kind of spinning, and can point me in the way of any information along those lines, that would be appreciated, because I do not want try to take ownership of things that are not mine to take.

I am also unclear about whether "Navajo spindle" is a term that is being used by non-Native spinners as an umbrella to group together various traditions of spinning? I am (passingly) familiar with the spinning and weaving traditions in the Navajo community, but there is something on The Woolery's website called a Blackfoot Spindle, which, has the following in its product description:

These Blackfoot Spindles were produced in coordination with Marilyn Wright (featured in Summer 2013 Spin Off magazine). They are handmade with a notch cut into the shaft that helps facilitate this almost lost spinning technique. Includes illustrated instruction pamphlet. This technique of spinning was almost lost. At the turn of the last century the tribal elders of the Blackfoot Confederacy declared that all spindles should be burned and that there would be no more spinning. A very relaxed way to spin on a unique spindle. Order this Navajo style spindle for sale today.

Like... I am not saying that all members of the Blackfeet Nation would be like "Well, tribal elders said a century ago that there was to be no more spinning, so I'm glad that tradition is (almost?) gone, actually" or that they wouldn't want it to be revived (or that there aren't efforts within that community to revive it that I am not aware of), but it feels to me like it does not fall to non-Native spinners to revive or ~save~ this style of spinning the way that this ad copy seems to be suggesting and that it's kind of a patronizing thing to imply.

Also, given that many spinners refer to chain-plying as "Navajo-plying" when Navajo spinners say that it is not something that originates in their spinning tradition, this leads me to believe that the term "Navajo spindle" may be used in a way by non-Natives that is flattening out and equating diverse spinning cultures originating in the Americas.

Anyway, the last time I was exploring this I kind of lost steam and decided to make a one-off donatation to Adopt a Native Elder to send a yarn bundle to a traditional Navajo weaver instead, so that I was actively supporting a non-hypothetical Navajo craftsperson in making a living from their crafts instead of just indulging in navel gazing about whether making my own spindle was a more respectful way to engage in their crafting traditions than buying a "Navajo" spindle from Some Company would be, which may well be what I land on doing again, but if there is a Native spinner out there who sells spindles I would love to support their business.

#spinning #spindle spinning #hand spinning #tdf seems like as likely a time as any to find someone who actually knows the answers to these questions #also I am sorry if I am overthinking this and I stg I am not trying to seem like I'm such a great guy for having these concerns #I just get bad vibes from the idea of buying a 'najavo' tool from someone who has no cultural ties to the navajo people #particularly when native crafts are often outright stolen by non-natives #and traditional craftspeople often live in incredible poverty

[firstagent]

What It's Like To Get Elected

Has it been another month since my last story update again? Uh… it’s still going.

Anyway, switching to another subject since I promised to talk more politics. As I mentioned before, I’ve been active with my local Democratic party. As far as getting into the room, getting access to important people, and giving them reality checks (and boy, do they need reality checks sometimes), I can’t recommend joining enough. Assuming you’ve got the spoons for it, and your local party don’t turn out to be assholes. That’s another conversation.

I also mentioned I was running for local school board. And guess what? I won!

In a small miracle for this town, we only had three candidates for three positions. Well, a small miracle and some excellent coordination from the local lefties. Because we were essentially unopposed, a lot of the steps of normal campaigning didn’t apply this time. Which is a shame, because I had a design for yard signs all set to go.

I did, however, interview for unions! That looks like a big Zoom call with a bunch of local reps where they ask you questions to make sure you support unions. The teachers union asked me about supporting LGBTQ+ students. Anyway, if you stalk me and find my Ballotpedia page (I only discovered a couple weeks ago that I had a Ballotpedia page) you’ll find two union endorsements. So that’s fun.

So is defending those endorsements and my Dems activity on community Facebook groups when people were under the impression they don’t get involved in local races. Maybe they should ask the county board candidate who swore up and down he didn’t take outside money, while taking $700 from the county Republicans. We have receipts.

Because of that nonsense I was more focused on his race than mine on Election Day. Hearing results when you’re running sometimes works a little differently, as you probably know someone working the polls that will share the results before the internet and news networks find them. So I heard about the local results well before they were published. And yes, I won! And that Republican guy lost. Bonus.

What happens next? For starters, training sessions. The state’s school board association emailed me the next morning with a login for their site. Three meetings in the next month will help get me up to speed: an orientation with the actual board, a gathering for new members in the region, and then an all-day affair about the specific governing model we have. It’s a lot, but it shows how much they prepare you going in, if you’re committed to actually doing the job right.

The biggest reality check came when I went to the next school board meeting, the lame duck session, if you will. For one, when I got there I got handed payroll paperwork. It hadn’t really sunk in that I was getting paid for this. Another is a discussion that frequently mentioned waiting on a vote until the new members could chime in. Or even the kudos from the other board members for crossing the finish line.

Yesterday I took my oath of office. Reading the email I was expecting a small private thing where I do an LBJ-style swearing in in a secretary’s office, maybe a picture. I just had to sign a thing, in the office because it had to be notarized. I was in and out in five minutes.

We’re going from roughly a 6-1 progressive majority to 7-0. That’s great news for our school, even if my first meeting I get to vote on whether elementary school registration fees are tripled, or doubled with the district subsidizing the balance. Thanks state legislature!

If you go in intending to do the job right, it’s a lot of work. That’s why it’s so important to elect people who intend to do the job right. Because so much of this is optional. It’s entirely possible to skip most of the trainings, to take your seat and either do nothing productive with it, or try to push policy whether or not it’s relevant, appropriate, or even legal. That’s how we get bad leadership, and why participation in this process is the only way anything’s going to get better.

(Feel free to use my Ask box for any political questions, including what the hell Democrats actually do at the local level and why I encourage joining them even with all the baggage attached.)

#politics #elections #school boards

[raybyanothername]

The Dornish War AU

So... @arraxapologist gave me an excuse to ramble and @idontevenknowhowtolife said I can have a chapter update if I write this up.

I may not get around to actually writing this AU, but I have a lot planned. The Polycule of Power would probably feature to some degree or another if I did it properly, but my notes are all on the canon ships (at least for the older gen, Aegon ends that trend real quick).

It would start, as so many good AUs do, with someone trying to kill Viserys. ^^'

At Rhaenyra and Laenor's wedding tourney, the festivities get interrupted by an attempted assassination of the king. So yay! Joffrey lives! ...for now. Bing, bang, boom, rushed nuptials done, we move to the war bit.

They track the attempt back to Dorne, which is a bit salty about the Stepstones even though they were not * directly* involved in the conflict. Various threats are levied. Political drama. Etc!

War declared!

Now, Lyonel Strong is Hand at this point and Otto is off in Oldtown advising his nephew who just became Lord Hightower. That may relate directly to the breakdown in diplomatic relations... 😏

Essentially, Otto is in charge of the Hightower forces at this point. He and his older sons are literally the ones on the front lines in that region. He and Boremund Baratheon, who is still alive at this point, are coordinating all the ground forces. Borros gets to live his best life smashing heads a la his descendent Robert.

Meanwhile, Corlys is using his foothold in the Stepstones to establish a blockade of Dorne. A rather major escalation that pisses the Martells off Whether they were involved in the assassination is very much up in the air, but they're gonna act like they're innocent regardless cause they're not idiots.

Rhaenyra is playing her best Visenya and arguing that they either need to conquer Dorne once and for all, or let the matter go. Alicent is lowkey telling Viserys the same thing, but with more emotion cause she just found out she's pregnant again (Yay Aemond!). She and Rhaenyra are in a very rocky truce situation here. Very stand-offish, but accidentally united.

The accidentally is very important because while Alicent is fretting about her children being in danger, Rhaenyra is leveraging the fact that her father has other heirs now to convince him to send her and Laenor to the front.

"I'm to be their queen. Their protector. If I cannot protect my own family, I don't deserve the crown."

Somewhere, Daemon's spidey sense is going off the moment Laenor hands Rhaenyra a sword. Viserys sees her training with her husband and agrees, giving her final say over all troop movements on the front lines. Rhaenys goes to Storm's End. Daemon to Oldtown. Laenor to Hightower. The idea is that Rhaenyra would go back and forth between the three, checking in with ground forces and coordinating with the Lords of each.

Are any of them actually in those castles? Eh. Sometimes. The dragonriders are supporting the armies, scouting far and wide, burning the border, etc. Rhaenyra probably spends as much time coordinating with Ormund Hightower as she does keeping Otto and Daemon from killing each other.

This is the era in which Otto realizes Rhaenyra could actually be a fantastic queen. With some help... of course. He's still Otto after all. XD

During one of the battles (probably the future location of Summerhall, because I can), Joffrey is killed. Rhaenyra spends the night comforting Laenor. Things happen... and now she's flying back and forth across the frontlines while pregnant.

Alicent goes into labor when she hears about that... cause Aemond is born early in every universe.

The war continues. Rhaenyra burns the fuck out of Yronwood before she ends up giving birth in one of the camps. Syrax's roars are terrifying both sides. Especially because they are joined by another dragon...

😎 Laena and Vhagar were not about to sit out a chance to conquer Dorne okay? She was flying with the Velaryon fleet mostly, very effective deterent Vhagar. With Rhaenyra giving birth, she flies across the Sea of Dorne to lend her support.

Yronwood is having an exceptionally bad few days there. Something, something, Laena and Daemon hit it off while waring and whoring. She drops some hints about her betrothal... Daemon dones his murder hoodie. Sealord's son is out of the picture. Rhaenys and Laenor have a shovel talk with Daemon while Rhaenyra presents Lord Corlys with his first grandson.

Lord Boremund totally cackles about the boy looking more like Jocelyn and Rhaenys than Laenor or Corlys. Otto says something about Jacaerys looking more like his mother.

"The Arryns will surely be overjoyed to see their blood so prominent in the young prince's features."

The Dornish are wiley though. (I love this about them) They're not making this war easy, even with the dragons. After all, the OG Conquerors had dragons too, and they couldn't make the Dornish submit. The commanders fight more without Rhaenyra there to keep them united (*cough* Daemon and Otto *cough*) so she has to leave Jacaerys with Alicent (who is now pregnant again... Rhaenyra is definitely side eyeing her father on that one).

If the Dornish thought Rhaenyra was bad before... she's got a very adorable baby she wants to get back to now. It's full court press. The dragons are relentless. Vhagar is having the time of her life.

Eventually, an offer comes from the Prince of Dorne to have his eldest daughter marry Jacaerys as a means to end the war. Given the girl is the man's heir and Jacaerys is hers... Rhaenyra is not so keen to have the girl lose out on her inheritance. She negotiates for Aegon instead, with the girl being fostered in King's Landing until their wedding.

The night the peace treaty is signed, Lucerys is conceived. He'll end up betrothed to a granddaughter of the Lord of Yronwood before his first birthday, to cement the treaty. (Aegon and Luke are the Daenaerys and Daeron II in this AU... for reasons).

Rhaenyra returns to King's Landing and conspires with Alicent for Jace and Helaena to be betrothed eventually. Daeron still fosters as Oldtown, but he ends up betrothed to a Manderly girl. When Joffrey comes along (the result of a night Laenor blames on Qarl and Rhaenyra blames Harwin for) he goes to the Vale, because Lady Arryn needs an heir... and he is Aemma's grandson...

Something, something Baela and Aemond are utter terrors together. No one is shocked when they run off to Essos together. Except Daemon... Daemon is surprised. Daemon is not happy. Corlys and Otto are laughing at him together over a bottle of Velaryon whiskey in High Tide.

That leads to Rhaena marrying Lyonel.

The Starks have 100% noticed that the Targaryens are marrying into the most influential families and are keeping their heads down cause Cregan is a young lord. His uncle would like to remain his regent. Jace and Cregan will join their houses later though so its fine.

On the other hand... the Lannisters are frothing at the mouth about being left out. Well... Rhaenyra is still salty about *someone* implying Aegon should be heir. So when she finally has a daughter, right before her coronation at that, she ain't looking at Casterly Rock.

Her Visenya obviously deserves to be forever doted upon and surrounded by beauty, so she ends up the next Lady of Highgarden.

I've gotten distracted from the plot here a bit... but whatever. The Dance is avoided. Rhaenyra ends up queen and Aegon is living his best life getting drunk off Dornish wine with his Dornish wife. Sunfyre blends in perfectly with the desert sand when he naps in the summer.

All is well.

Jaehaera is Jacaerys' heir, because I said so.

Good night! XD

#house of the dragon #hotd #ray rambles #ray writes #alternate universe #rhaenyra targaryen #asoiaf

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Polyship with Bokuto and Kuroo

Bokuto Kotaro x Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem! Reader (timeskip!)

Warnings: Swearing, kind of turned into angst to fluff

AN: This is a request from Spooky anon!

🏳️‍🌈 Please Like, Share, Comment to support my writing 🏳️‍🌈

🤚🏻 I have nothing to say here YN

You are so lucky, my jealously is overflowing rn

Our perfect himbo man and everyone's favorite Rooster 🥺

I think this relationship is a good balance

Bokuto is a very needy man and Kuroo is pretty independent

I feel like you all would bring something to the table that would make this ship work

You meet Bokuto and Kuroo through Team Japan

You actually worked with Kuroo and helped with Team Japan's promotion

That's how you met our favorite owl bby 🦉

You were gearing up for a photoshoot when Kuroo introduced you to the team

You know those cheesy montages where someone sees their soul mate and music plays and all that crap

Yeah that was what happened to Bokuto

He instantly was attracted to you and honestly you were attracted to him

Now you and Kuroo already had a pre-established relationship since you worked together

Bokuto and Kuroo are essentially besties 🤚🏻

You and Bokuto started getting closer while you and Kuroo remained close

It would just be natural for all three of you to hang out together

More feelings started to develop and you three grew incredibly close

Now before we go any further, I fully believe Bokuto would be bisexual 🏳️‍🌈

I think a polyship would be perfect for him because he requires A LOT of attention

I mean, seriously you saw how Fukurodani handled him 😐

Essentially he requires a team's worth of emotional support

Now there is going to be some jealousy because it's Kuroo and Bokuto

We all say Haikyu: land vs air

"I lIkE tO tAkE tHe SpOtLiGhT eVeRy OnCe AnD a WhIlE tOo"- Kuroo

"YeAh- WeLl iM tAkInG iT bAcK"- Bokuto

🙄🙄 honestly children istg

Despite their random quarrels, I think there's two would be so supportive

However, there will be times when they both get caught up in work

To be fair, they are super busy and it's the Olympics

I mean you're busy too but coordinating your schedules is becoming impossible

You recently decided to move in together 🙌🏻

Big step! We love that for you three 🥺

Unfortunately you've had no time to celebrate with a date night

Your schedules have clashed several times but tonight is finally the night!

You planned an amazing date night with your boys and you are so freaking excited!

Peep the chat 👇🏻

You arrive home and are waiting for your boys to show up

You've ordered food, showered and you are all ready

5 approaches, followed by 6, then 7 and soon 8pm

Not a sign of either of them in sight

😬😬😬😬 ope-

You are a mixture of hurt and angry

I do NOT blame you one bit

Around 9pm you decide to pack it up and head to bed

You've just put the food away when you hear the front door unlock

Bokuto and Kuroo walk in laughing as you stand, leaning against the kitchen counter

Your face 👉🏻 PISSED

once again, I'm mad for you YN 😡

Kuroo and Bokuto look at you

"Hey babe-"

"Nope- you do not get to call me that"- you, hand up 🤚🏻

Bokuto and Kuroo stiffen

You literally halted 2 giants YN

"Love what's wrong?"- Kuroo asks

"You can not be serious right now"- you 😐

Bokuto and Kuroo look at each other, confused

You stand there, arms crossed and rolling your eyes

"Did you forget what tonight was?"- you ask

Bokuto and Kuroo 👉🏻🤨🤨

At this point you are getting so mad, tears are forming

Please this is me- when I get mad, I cry

"Tonight was suppose to be date night!! We agreed that we would have dinner together because Kotaro has a game tomorrow and we were going to have a chill night in"- you shout, now crying

It hits Bokuto and Kuroo all at once

"Oh shit, baby! Fuck we totally..."- Kuroo

"You forgot? Yeah I got that"- you say walking away and grabbing your keys

"YN where are you going?"- Bokuto questions, worried

"I need to get out for a minute. I'm really mad and upset"- you say walking by them

The look at each other as you walk out the door, tears falling

Now Bokuto and Kuroo know they fucked up and man do they feel like shit!

Seriously they've been so distracted they forgot about your date night

I mean you literally mentioned it earlier in the day 👀 so like they REALLY fucked up

You walk around town for a while, it's getting cold and you decide you need to head home

Deep down you know they purposely didn't mean to miss date night but it still hurts

You walk up to the apartment and you enter

The house is quiet so you assume everyone is asleep

Rather than wake them, you decide you should just sleep on the coach

Our thoughtful angel 🥺

You manage to fall asleep for a while when you hear the front door open

You're eyes adjust to the light as you see Kuroo and Bokuto enter, arms full of groceries

"YN- baby what are you doing?"- Bokuto says running to you

"I- I thought you were asleep so I didn't want to wake you"- you say

"YN we never want you to sleep without us ok? Bokuto and I went out to get some stuff to make it up to you. We know we fucked up and we are so sorry"- Kuroo says

"We got your favorite and look, flowers!"- Bokuro says holding up the biggest bouquet of flowers you've ever seen

"You- you did this for me"- you 🥺 tearing up again

"Omg are you going to cry again?"- Bokuto our little empath

"It's happy tears Ko I promise" you say pulling your boys into a hug

No matter how stupid they can be, they love and adore you YN 🥰

#haikyuu #haikyuu!! #haikyu! #haikyū!! #haikyu #bokuto kotaro #kuroo tetsuro #kuroo x bokuto x fem!reader #kuroo x y/n #kuroo x reader #kuroo x female reader #kuroo x you #bokuto x female reader #bokuto x reader #bokuto x you #bokuto x y/n #kuroo x bokuto x y/N #kuroo x bokuto x reader polyship #kuroo x bokuto #haikyu! polyship #haikyu! x female reader #haikyu! x reader #haikyu timeskip #lgbtqia+ representation #lgbtqia+ community #lgbtqia+ #lgbtiqia+ fiction #haikyu x reader #hq bokuto #hq kuroo

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

https://www.tumblr.com/seasurfacefullofclouds1/744672247980195840/it-wasnt-a-failure-of-understanding-of-harrys

Not sure if its a good way to start my ask but i was a larrie until couple of months and i still feel very bad that am not able to let it go.. this is not my life until last year and its just i feel too much all the time.. am not able to let it go that louis and harry are not together and seeing your blog and going through stuff that is not said anywhere is making me so angry.. how the truth is twisted and made into a fantasy, i guess its not even people fault who write only about their perception because they think of boys in a certain way rather than what actually happened and what has been happening and how unfair L is being treated.. am angry with myself that why am i bothered when a millionaire white male(H) has turned to be what they usually are.. i did not believe harry relationship with olivia but when i saw pattern of H and his personal trainer i was feeling very bad.. very bad for louis.. i know you don’t believe they are together but i did and i felt so betrayed.. you might think thats its silly to feel such strongly but trust me am unable believe myself.. it could’ve been that louis has broken up with harry or the otherway but i cannot help but feel sad for louis.. he is someone who deserves a better man than H but he also seem to take a lot of time to get into a relationship unlike someone who has relationships with every other random person.. may be that trainer is a good person but harry’s way of parading his girlfriends or boyfriends around the world is disgusting and people actually are doing is it just something else altogether.. i wanna sit with louis and wanna hear all about what he has to say and kick everyone that hurt him so badly..

Hi there!

I can’t say that I know enough about Brad the Trainer, except that sometimes he and Harry are in casual photos together? Honestly, idk anything.

I know when fandom hangs on certain myths (the two-week rule, we-kind-of-share-that, Louis supports Harry at his concerts, Harry is secretly helping Louis’ career), it can feel very personally anxiety-provoking when an event contradicts the mythology, like when they spent months during pandemic obviously thousands of miles apart.

I used to be a Larrie, and I remember those moments of huge doubt, only to have the fandom twist the truth so hard to eliminate the doubters. Then it would always turn to old gifs, jokes, memes, and fanfiction to make everything comfy again.

Here’s the thing. I think once you let go of “they still might be together,” you should try to question every assumption, even something like, “They check up on each other.” Do they though? Do they even have time?

Unlike fans, Louis and Harry know what they are (individually) doing every day, they don’t have to guess. Their days are often filled with work and meetings. They’re with friends. They have to plan months, years into the future. They have to talk to doctors, dentists, stylists, publicists, tour managers, graphic designers, producers… you get the idea.

I promise you they are NOT reading fan tweets or Tumblr posts and sending secret signals or anons. I promise you they aren’t coordinating what they wear, let alone colors. They aren’t checking each other’s lyrics or interviews or gossip pages or haircuts or fanfic-inspired movies or whatever, because their lives are already too busy; they are two separate people.

So I doubt that Louis is sitting at home feeling sad that Harry is dating whomever, because it probably never crosses his mind. Louis is living his own very full, very fulfilling, very fun, and probably at times very stressful life. He has employees he needs to pay, and investments in future projects that aren’t easy and aren’t jokes. Life isn’t just about getting on stage for 90 minutes every few days.

Instead, feel happy for Louis that he has so much going on, and that he is the master of his life. He can choose to settle down with someone or not. He can like whatever he wants to like on Instagram. He can design his 28 clothing campaigns the way he wants it. Louis’ stage design is his creation. He can choose not to perform at an Azoff venue, ever. He can support and listen to whatever artist he wants without worrying about their label or management affiliation. He watches the shows he wants to watch, wears the designers he wants to wear. He can spend money on his band, taking them on outings, and trust them completely. All of this is so much more than what he had before— and his joy shows.

Welcome to your freedom.

[lumine-no-hikari]

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #29

A very weird thing happened today. It looks like, in an effort to make me feel small, worthless, and stupid, some random person on the internet decided to make a mock summary of one of the letters I wrote to you. Behold the nonsense:

Clearly, this person did not actually read what I had written, because the point of the letter that I found this comment in was to model things like "allowing oneself to rest", "strategies for emotional control even when you're tired and full of despair", and "remembering that there is still goodness in this world and people in it who can love you". I don't think I've ever indicated in any of the letters that I've written that I wish for any type of committed romantic or sexual relationship with you at any point, ever.

But, let me, for the sake of integrity, write the following so as to make my intentions perfectly clear: no, I do not want any kind of romantic or sexual relationship with you. There are numerous reasons for this:

First, you are a fictional character in a fictional world. This, by itself, presents a wide variety of insurmountable logistical issues that would make marriage impossible. When you add in our relative ability levels (you are a well-trained superhuman combat veteran, whereas I am a weak, noodley derpasaurus rex in a human suit, with all the grace and coordination of a drunken baboon), the resulting power dynamic would be problematic at best.

Second: it has been indicated on multiple occasions that you have zero interest in romance or sex; for all intents and purposes, you have been defined as aromantic and asexual; why, then, would I ever even entertain the thought of marrying you, knowing that such a thing would be in direct violation of your wishes and needs?

Third: even if the first two points were moot, the fact still remains that you lack many of the necessary skills for the maintenance of a healthy romantic or sexual relationship, and that does not work for me. A healthy relationship requires all involved parties to be attuned with their own emotions, able to responsibly tend to their basic needs (food, water, sleep, at very least), able to assertively communicate their wants and needs, and able to prioritize their wellbeing in a general sense, at very minimum. The version of you that I've seen in the media provided to us does none of those things. Rather:

Instead of dealing with your emotions honestly and constructively, you isolate yourself (in the Shinra Data Room, or in the Shinra Manor Library) until you've stuffed them down far enough that you can maybe sort of almost convince yourself that you can kind-of-sort-of function (this is NOT the "winning coping skill" that so many people in my world seem to think it is!!). Given what happened at Nibelheim, I think we can both agree that it is a serious understatement to say that you habitually deny your emotions both to others and to yourself, only to have the resulting exhaustion and resentment come out in destructive ways later.

You prioritize others even at the expense of yourself, as seen when you took watch on the first night at Nibelheim, despite your exhaustion. You do not tend your own bodily needs reliably; even before your weeklong bout of hyperfocus in that damnable library (in which you did not eat, sleep, or hydrate at all, if accounts that you never left the room are to be believed), it was indicated that you had been losing weight from not eating properly shortly after Genesis and Angeal deserted.

You do not communicate your wants and needs with assertiveness or integrity; clearly you were struggling with the death of Angeal and all the nasty things that Genesis said to you, but you did not once ask for any kind of help from Zack, despite the fact that he had demonstrated himself time and time again to be safe, supportive, and reliable. You are still human despite the modifications made to you, but you are still far too hard on yourself and you don't allow yourself to make any mistakes. Did you even let yourself take time off after Angeal's death? Given the way you treat yourself, I gotta wonder.

To be sure, the old version of me used to struggle mightily with all of these. I still sometimes do; codependent tendencies borne from trauma and used as survival techniques are a bitch to root out of a person's psyche. But I'm putting in the work every single day to learn new skills and to manage these things, because the people who love me are counting on me to be safe to myself and to them. As far as I know, you have not put any work into this yet, and I don't foresee that you will be able to work on these things until much later in your journey, after some modicum of peace in your world is achieved.

And I am a demiromantic and demisexual. Things like fame, status, income, titles, accolades, physical appearance, fitness, intelligence, and all the other arbitrary bullshit that people judge each other for, day in and day out… none of that matters one bit to me. I look at a person's innermost nature. I am piqued by kindness and gentleness of character, but these alone still won't do it for me. If I move forward with any type of committed lifepartnership with anyone, I and the other person have to know each other well and have a strong emotional bond, I have to be able to trust them without question or hesitation, and I have to feel safe with them at all times. It's a high bar (I've been through A LOT, so I'm not ashamed, and I expect myself to meet these same conditions), but these requirements are non-negotiable for anyone - not even you.

You do have an abundance of kindness and gentleness, and I know a lot about you and the things you've done, but I do not know you. Given your track record, I would not be able to trust that you are being honest and assertive with me about your thoughts, emotions, wishes, and needs. And given your lack of self-attunement when it comes to your needs and emotions, the fact that you prioritize your self-care behind literally anything else, and the fact that you clearly struggle to control yourself when you are having big feelings, I would not at all feel safe with you in a lifepartnership type of context.

I love you to death. Truly, I could eat you right up. I love when you smile and laugh. I'd give you as many (or as few) hugs as you want. I'd hold your hand while walking, if you wished. I'll offer you as many kind and encouraging words as I have. I'd like to bring you to nifty places and feed you tasty things and show you all the stories I love and teach you all the things I've learned while living. I'd like to hear you sing something, or watch you play a video game, or watch you do anything that you love to do. But none of this translates to sexual or romantic feelings for you, in any way, shape, or form; everything I've described is just normal friend things; these are all things that I do fairly regularly with all of the people in my social group.

And it saddens me to think that this person who tried (and failed) to make me feel small might have read all the kind and encouraging things that I wrote to you while believing that saying kind and encouraging things is something that should be done only with a potential marriage candidate; what a very narrow definition of care that this person must have to live with. It also saddens me to think that this person's first instinct at seeing someone write about something close to their heart is to mock it; I wonder from where this person has received similar treatment in the past for expressing positive things about something they love. I truly hope everything is okay at home for them. I'll wish for peace, healing, safety, and joy upon them.

At the end of the day, it doesn't matter how people treat me. I'm still going to choose kindness no matter what nonsense gets thrown at me. I'm still going to write to you. I'm still going to model healthy(ish?) ways of coping with one's darker emotions. I'm still going to model what it means to change internal narratives and beliefs. I'm still going to model taking proper care of oneself, even when one doesn't feel like it. I'm still going to write about reframing events in my life into something positive when I can, and working through the negative emotions with help when I cannot. I'm still going to write about my journey towards becoming a healed person even after the absolute shitshow that was my childhood. And I'm still going to make beautiful things and do beautiful things and speak and write and act upon beautiful things in your name. I cannot be stopped. The light and beauty that pours from my soul is an inevitability, just like it is with every other human who lives in my world.

If they want to get me to shut up about it, they're going to have to kill me, and if they're that desperate to get me to shut up that they'd make an attempt, in the end they'd still be doing me a goddamn favor (I never asked to live through horror on a dying planet in a defective meat-suit; what the fuck even is this?), so the joke's on them either way.

I am fucking unbreakable. And that's thanks to you. And it's thanks to all the other people in my world who love me, too. There are lots of things in this world that conspire to give me unimaginable courage and amazing capacity to express love at other people, and I'm sure as hell not going to squander any opportunity I have to make the best use I can of these gifts I've been given.

May you stop for a moment to consider all of the things that make you unbreakable, all of the curses that befell you, all of the love you've been given, all the amazing things you can do, and all of the people who will have your back along the way if you'll let them. May these things inspire sufficient courage within you to make loving and wholesome choices, even when making such choices might cause you to get hurt.

As long as there is breath left in my body, I will continue write to you. It's a promise. Count on it.

Your friend, Lumine

#sephiroth #ThankYouFFVIIDevs #ThankYouFF7Devs #ThankYouSephiroth #final fantasy vii #final fantasy 7 #ff7 #ffvii #final fantasy vii crisis core #final fantasy 7 crisis core #final fantasy crisis core #ffvii crisis core #ff7 crisis core #crisis core #ff7r #final fantasy vii remake #final fantasy 7 remake #ffvii remake #ff7 remake #final fantasy vii rebirth #final fantasy 7 rebirth #ffvii rebirth #ff7 rebirth #final fantasy 7 ever crisis #ffvii ever crisis #ff7 ever crisis #ffvii first soldier #frustrated but managing #platonic things are platonic goldangit #wholesome

[the-manors-writer]

glad to see this blog active again! i used to obsess over old posts lol

anyway, could i ask for some headcanons of emil with a s/o that got seriously injured in a match? hurt/comfort please :)

thank you for your past support, detective! welcome back :] also once again we're here with jack slander /j - mod orhpeus

request: emil with a badly injured s/o from a match headcanons pairing: [emil] patient x gn!reader warnings: descriptions of blood & injury, near death experience

emil

emil was already unhappy with the hunter for this match

the ripper is not a person he wants to see, let alone anywhere near you, considering his past and current personality plus habits, of course the patient would be iffy

though then again iffy is just a huge understatement but still

that entire match, emil wasn’t bothered by jack because he was chasing someone else

but that didn’t make him happy

because that someone else was you

he felt his heart drop when he saw you pinging that the hunter was near you

he wanted to abandon his cipher and run towards you, but he had to help the team out at the very least

he regretted that decision so much. so, so much

see, you were kiting jack for a good while, and it didn’t anger the hunter

it made him excited, actually

because you’re actually someone who gives him effort in his chase, and if there’s one thing the hunter likes, it’s that

by the time the third cipher popped, you know you messed up

he was right behind you as you grabbed the edge of the window, ready to vault

and you felt those claws scratch through your clothes, into your flesh, blood gushing out of the five gashes across your back

you didn’t even manage the normal vault, the sheer force of it knocked you to the ground with a rough landing

the force of hitting the ground was so hard you even scraped your leg badly

your scream of pain actually scared the survivors across the map because it was genuinely so much louder and bloodcurdling than what they were used to

and emily screams pretty damn loud

emil felt his heart nearly lodge itself deep in his chest

that was your scream.

the ripper hums as he slips through the window, chuckling as he grabbed you by the leg. damn that accessory of his

but to your surprise, he first dragged you closer to him. on your back.

you screamed and arched off the ground as the ripper’s unclawed hand gripped the side of your head

“you sound beautiful, my dear... such ragged shrieks, just like those whores.”

his claws traced your stomach

“i want to gut you so bad right now, pretty thing. little rose like you, with your innards spilled across the fucking floor. oh, that’d be such a sight. i can’t wait for the day that i can do that to you.”

he digs his claw to leave a mark, but not stab too deeply

then, he threw you to your stomach

you were dragged through the mud and grass, but every time you struggled, the wounds on your back stung and you couldn’t help but limp as the ripper snatched you by the scruff and threw you against the chair

you couldn’t do anything much, but you thought yourself lucky that the fourth cipher popped then and there. just one remaining

emil pushed the coordinator aside as he was running towards you

“focus on decoding!” he yelled at her, “i’m going to rescue!”

the fury and worry in his voice made her falter, and she did as he said

the ripper had left you alone and emil quickly took off the clasps, feeling his the pit in his stomach gnaw bigger when he saw the five claw marks across your back

you didn’t even have the energy to stand, just drop into his arms

the survivors squeaked by with a tie. coordinator and thief was chaired as emil supported you while he opened the gate

the two of you escaped, and as soon as the two of you got to the manor, he carried you to the doctor as fast as he could

despite his fear of medical figures, women especially, he had to do it for you. he wasn’t a professional at this, after all

“p.. please be okay..” emil sobbed as he clasped your hand, “i-i’m.. umh.. i don’t wanna be alone..”

“i’ll be okay,” you mumble softly, looking at him with a face that told him that you weren’t okay

emily patched you up as best she could, and very obviously told you that you couldn’t play a few matches for a while

which essentially, to emil, meant that he also wasn’t going to play until you were fully healed

he carried you back to your shared room and he doted on you so, so, much

he was crying the entire time

you were so pale. you were so cold. he was afraid that if he turned his back on you, you wouldn’t be moving anymore and you’d be gone

he wanted to kill jack, but he wasn’t strong enough for that

over time, the wounds turned less deathly and major, and you were healthy enough to be held and cuddled

and he did that a lot.

one night, he cradled you close to his chest, gently rocking you back and forth

he was still crying a lot over your injuries

“...emil?” you weakly mutter, and he stops to look at you

big tears rolling down his face, you cup it to wipe them away

“..hey, handsome.. what’s up?” “...worry.. over you..”

he whispers, leaning down to kiss you softly

“mm.. i know.. you’re okay.. i’m okay too, see..? don’t cry anymore..”

“..you’re okay.. okay.. we’re... okay..” he whispers, and he brightens a bit when he sees you smile and nod

he clings to you, because to him, you’re the only light he has left

and the warm light is all he cares about, here, now, and forever

[art credit - official art]

#blood tw #headcanon.txt #letters.txt #anon.txt #identity v #identity v x reader #identity v writing #idv #idv x reader #idv writing #emil #emil idv #emil identity v #emil x reader #idv emil #identity v emil #the patient #the patient idv #the patient identity v #idv patient #identity v patient

[sysmedsaresexist]

like i do follow you and stuff and enjoy your content most of the time, this isnt meant to be an attack or smth, but i thought id point smth out. in that recent post you made abt blocking that guy, you said in the tags not to feed the trolls.

which is why im sending this ask, bc you do feed the trolls. pretty often and to this day you feed the trolls. you were reblogging stuff from thefakersystems 2 days ago, and are now saying not to feed the trolls?

this isnt really like a call out or me telling you to do anything or smth, just. something ive noticed. it actually really surprised me to see you say that, since you seem to not really care about feeding the trolls, so idk. just thought id say smth

I have a couple asks about trolls (A. Clown, ilu, yes, report), and there's one, very annoying, troll-like creature that annoys me personally, so I'm going to answer this

I like to rate trolls on two scales

Harmless to harmful

Boring to amusing

The one I recommended people block is harmful and boring

They made a blog and immediately started reblogging-- not MY posts, but my reblogs of OTHER people's positivity

That's not a danger or annoyance to myself, in this case, it's a danger to my followers and those I interact with

That means an immediate block from my blog, and a late night of checking for new blogs that might indicate round 2 (to reiterate, I was the only one they had reblogged from)

Unfortunately, I didn't catch that troll until their fifth reblog

I told those I know personally to block the blog before checking their notifications

To others, I'm sorry I didn't catch them on the first post, I'm sorry that you had to see depressing nonsense on amazing positivity posts

That's why I ALSO said in the tags, just block, there's nothing interesting to see, no amusement is going to come out of it, don't send them anons, just block and move on

Thefakersystem, on the other hand, is harmless and amusing, commenting lol on random posts and actually making me laugh at times-- they've really only reblogged my original posts, so they're not using my blog like it's a buffet of victims to pick from

They are not using my blog to attack others, they're not a direct threat to my followers or those I interact with

They're an annoying little background buzz that sometimes gets a chuckle. Everyone already knows they exist, so I don't need to tell anyone to be careful, and people either already have them blocked or know what to look for

Now, I did see that they may be involved in the anons going around, potentially the triggering ones

That's a bit different, now we have a problem, they've gone up to "mildly harmful question mark?"

I'm keeping an eye on the situation and will act appropriately, as needed

I don't know how long you've been around, but does anyone remember the shadow the hedgehog blog?

I actually spoke directly with that blog at the time and found out it was joke-- I was scared for them and my followers, so I do my due diligence where needed

But my followers can be rabid, and the shadow blog started getting death threats and suibait, and then I put a stop to it, on behalf of the TROLL, calling out those users specifically and making it very clear that this blog does not support that-- the users that sent those anons essentially ruined any fun that people were having-- and trust me, it was hilarious for most people, or I would have stopped it earlier

I have also been accused numerous times of coordinating mass reports against real users, so I need to be careful what callouts I make about who, and what I "ask" my followers to do, because there's no winning either way

And if you ARE the annoying, troll-like creature that I mentioned, you're a massive hypocrite and I hope you know everyone is laughing at you

Because if people weren't laughing, you'd be hard blocked

(If you're not that user, I hope this answers your question and helped ❤️)

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

”Hybe pulled out” seems like such a reach im sorry… i want to believe in taekook too but why is this more likely than them actually just dating. Like before open lgbt idols, they ought to at first be allowed to openly date and have relationships and be normal human beings in the first place and i feel like what tae is doing is representating that more than anything else. Like he wants to use his status for this, normalizing idols dating. And also to blame yg and hybe doesnt answer the fact that taehyung would have had to accept it and i dont see that he would do that if he was gay or in a relationship with a man. Because he would maybe have to hide (if sk is 10-15 years behind, wasnt that around the time in the west when gay artists etc began to come out?) but he wouldnt do this is my feeling, he wouldnt want to promote another straight couple, it would be disingenious. But ofc there could be other things going on behind the scenes that we dont know. And im obviously projecting my idea of taehyung onto him but i just feel like he sets boundaries, stands up for himself, doesnt care about haters to the point that this move seems out of character. What would be in character is not caring about some bullshit rule about not openly dating. (Even if i would have liked to keep living in my delusional taekook bubble… i guess its his life…)

"Like before open lgbt idols, they ought to at first be allowed to openly date and have relationships and be normal human beings in the first place and i feel like what tae is doing is representating that more than anything else."

My reaction to this bit in particular....

followed by this...

So let me get this STRAIGHT, before TAE can be GAY he has to DATE WOMEN... normally?????

As for the rest... well....

"Like he wants to use his status for this, normalizing idols dating."

"also to blame yg and hybe doesnt answer the fact that taehyung would have had to accept it and i dont see that he would do that if he was gay or in a relationship with a man."

Idols, even ones as influential as BTS still have to play the game and present as 100% heterosexual... Now, Tae may not like it, but he would still have to play along even if it's not outright denying it.

Also Idol cov⁴panies have been using their idols for years, that includes, fake relationships and gossip, creating fake storeis as cover for other things. . Several people who have worked in the industry have cons2istent said that is the case. Plus he's under contract and that contract probably as a certain level of control over his media image. And YG have been consistantly been using these tactics for years mostly to deflect from the shitty things they've done as company or to help protect their big named acts... or CEO.

"sk is 10-15 years behind"

I just meant poliically and culturally not in relation to idols. In about 15 years' time I believe there will be more progressive laws in SK and opinion from the GP on LGBTQ rights will be more accepting.

We might see more celebs coming out, but that's not a given especially in K-Pop.

"he wouldn't want to promote another straight couple"

He never did in the first place... you're projecting.

"he sets boundaries, stands up for himself, doesnt care about haters... What would be in character is not caring about some bullshit rule about not openly dating."

Yes he does set boundries, but at the same time, he's fully aware of how precarious things could be for him as an idol. Hence why I think HYBE/Tae allowed the speculation off the back of those early fake images to run rampant.

When I say "HYBE pulled out", it's clear regardless of whether HYBE were involved in the creations of the images or not, that when they dropped initially back in May last year, it benefited them greatly. So when the next set of images dropped in Aug/Sept last year they clearly supported the release of the images by not saying anything (along with YG), until both BP and Tae's schedules had come to a close. This "coordination" makes it clear that both both HYBE and YG were involved and for the HYBE it allowed a large slice of the fandom and GP to view Tae as straight... which further down the line protects his image and allow him a greater freedom.

Post Sept-2022 it's clear that HYBE became less involved and started be less coordinated with their business partners over the whereabouts of their artists and their release schedules.

So while YG started to use the situation to fend off BP contract issues, BigBang issues, G-Dragon issues, former CEO/legal issues, Baby Monster issues... etc..., it also meant that even more discrepancies started to occur such as the fact that the video in Paris was either clearly stages or not filmed when the photographer claimed because schedule meant that Jennie was nowhere near France. I also think YG might have been involved in JK's "leaked" video consider how close it was release to when a lot of shitty news about YG came out.

Anyway, one good thing about military enlistment.... no more Taennie Shit!

#my asks

[angria]

My interview with my field coordinator went well yesterday. It's looking like I will be in the public school system for my foundational field placement. Which is good in the sense that I can use this as an opportunity to figure out whether I want to work in a school environment again. Kind of worried I'll be thrown in the deep end due to understaffing and whether I will have an unavailable supervisor. But, my program has a lot of supports, so even if my supervisor isn't that great, I have people at school to help along with T.

Next worry is scheduling. My work hours are fairly flexible, so hoping I can keep my job. The one thing I did insist on was not being available Monday and Wednesday afternoons. I could do my placement in the morning those days, but those are my session times. She seemed okay with it after I said I could do Tuesday, Thursdays, or Fridays. Saturdays too, but that's probably moot if I'm working in a school. It's also nice that my program tries to find you placements near where you live so you are not traveling very far. Of course, being in the city, that can be meaningless...6 miles can turn into an hour with traffic.

Excited, but definitely anxious. Hopefully that will fade once I actually know where I'm placed and how to change around my work schedule. She said she would get back to me around mid to late February with a possible placement.

#msw #angriadm

[sweetestberryofthebunch]

The one where another thing goes wrong

Jan stared down at her phone, the two marks verifying that her message had indeed been read tauntingly staring back at her.

Hey Jackie, it‘s Jan💜 I just wanted to let you know we’re having this little party at our place this week because Goona is recording a single! 🎶 I thought maybe you’d like to come too? We’ll have plenty of music and tequila 🥂💃🏼 I asked Nicky too btw, so you’ll definitely know someone else beside us! 👯‍♀️

And then, just this morning, she had sent her their address, apologising for not thinking of that earlier. Still, left on read. In the middle of a crowded room, in one of her favourite dresses with Lagoona‘s favourite songs blasting and at least three drinks in already. But all Jan could think about was how Jackie never answered her messages. Did she text the wrong number? No, she had checked three times before sending the first one! But Jackie wouldn’t just leave her on read for two full days, would she?

„Cherié, what has you sulking like this?“, Jan hadn’t even noticed Nicky coming up beside her, a vision in silver sparkles and bright red lips. The fashion major knew how to dress for sure. But to be totally honest, Jan hadn’t even realized Nicky had showed up until now. At least that meant someone had actually followed her invite …

„Hey Nicky!“, she replied, maybe a little too fast and a little too cheerfully to be authentic. Obviously so actually, judging by the way one of Nicky‘s freshly bleached brows wandered upwards.

„Good to see you too, Janice“, the french girl said, suspicion dripping from her words even as she tried to yell over the people around them, the music blasting.

„You too“, Jan replied, dropping her phone back into her small purse, colour coordinated with her shoes. She had picked up an entirely new outfit, and now Jackie wouldn’t even see it… Or would she? Jan glanced up at Nicky, who was slightly taller now that she wore platforms. „Hey, did Jackie come with you too?“

„Oh“, Nicky shook her head, „Jackie doesn’t do parties right before exams. Gotta keep her perfect score or whatever.“ She eyed Jan, „Is that why you’re just standing here? Waiting for her?“ Caught right in the act, Jan nodded with a sigh. „I was just wondering, she didn’t even reply to my message …“

„Oh girl“, Nicky interrupted her, one of her perfectly manicured hands grabbing Jan‘s shoulder, „Her phone‘s probably still in the safe. She’s so crazy when it comes to studying I swear …“ The blonde stopped herself before trailing off, „Let’s not think of that right now, okay? I promise you its nothing personal, Jackie fucking adores you.“

She did? Jan couldn’t help the smile forming on her face at that, Nicky laughing at her. „That’s better already. Now where are those sisters of yours? I was promised a game of spin the bottle and i want it before I‘m too drunk to remember!“ Grabbing her hand, Jan pulled Nicky towards Lagoona‘s bedroom, the heavy lump in her chest already a little lighter. Nothing personal, she adored her. Her! „Come on, I know where she’ll be for that!“

The thought of Jackie being in the Lake house by herself, studying all alone still lingered in the back of her mind, but she wasn’t going to let that ruin the night for her. After all, Nicky said Jackie wouldn’t turn her down for personal reasons, and she was like super close with Jackie, so she had to know.

Just as suspected, Lagoona sat on the fluffy aquamarine carpet of her room with some of their closer friends from home. There were Alaska, Willam and Courtney, who they had met on a music festival when the they had still tried to make it as Stephanie‘s Child back in high school. Alaska was signed in with the same label that approved of Lagoona‘s single and had tried her best to support Lagoona in front of representatives. There was Adore, who they had met at a Gala they had visited with their mom, as well as some guys from similar events, one of them already basically pressed up to Willam like his life depended on the snarky blonde.

„Monét and Bob are boring“, Courtney declared just as Jan and Nicky slipped into the room, blocking out the music by closing the door shut behind them, „They said its childish to play.“

„It’s not!“, Adore gasped, slurring her words.

„No, it is“, Nicky announced there presence smoothly, sitting down between two guys who Jan believed to be somehow related to the Label that had picked up Goona. The blonde had a wicked grin on her face, „That’s why its so much fun.“

„Everyone!“, Lagoona clapped, eyes wandering over their assembled friends from the time they had lived in LA, „This is Nicky! She studies Fashion Design!“

„And she’s French!“, Alaska declared excitedly, leading to Willam rolling her eyes and swatting at the taller blonde. „No shit!“

„Okay“, Lagoona glared at the two before taking one last sip from the wine bottle in her lap, setting it down on the floor almost ceremoniously, „In old AAA and Stephanie’s Child tradition, no meeting without at least one game of spin the bottle.“ She winked at Courtney as she said so, who erupted into giggles.

Willam was less enthusiastic. „Where’s Rosie then? Haven’t seen the bitch all night.“

Lagoona glanced over at Jan with a questioning look, who simply shrugged. Neither had she. And it wasn’t like Rosé at all to miss out on some fun, especially with their old friends …

„Who caresss“, Adore whined, impatiently reaching for the bottle, „It’s better with less siblings anyways. More options!“ And with that, she gave the bottle an enthusiastic spin. It landed on one of the guys, Jan couldn’t remember his name for the life of her, who immediately shuffled forwards on his knees. The kiss was short and sweet, and Adore quickly handed him the bottle to spin next.

It continued quite similarly. Lagoona kissed Alaska, Alaska kissed one of the guys, who then shared the most awkward little peck Jan had ever witnessed with Lagoona’s boyfriend Trevor, who then had to give Adore a little peck on the cheek. Adore spun the bottle, muttering something about wanting better luck this time. The bottle spun, spun, spun and Jan took a sip of a drink someone had provided throughout the game. Suddenly, the three blonde girls across from her erupted into cheers and hollering. Putting her cup down as fast as she could, Jan stared at the bottle, pointing on Nicky.

„Finally“, Willam sighed, „Someone that’s her type!“

„Bitch“, Courtney retorted, voice way lower than Willam, „Since when does Adore like blondes?“

„She‘s obviously talking about her height, Court“, Alaska drawled, taking a sip of a cocktail she pulled from somewhere, „I bet Bianca‘s even shorter than Frenchie though.“

Adore rolled her eyes at them, shuffling a little forward on her knees. „B isn’t here and it doesn’t matter!“, she declared, maybe a little too determined to seem casual. No one got to comment on it though, because Adore‘s knees bumped against Nicky‘s, who had a small, smug smile on her red painted lips. Jan didn’t miss the glare Adore sent in Willam‘s direction before she leaned forward, both of her hands cupping Nicky‘s face, closing the gap between them. Their lips clashed together, moving rapidly, yet in unison. Adore‘s fingers dug into the short, slicked back blonde of Nicky‘s hair, who in return reached one hand up to rest on the dark haired girls jaw.

Willam hollered, getting a short smack from Courtney, and Jan tried to ignore the way her mouth ran dry while watching. Adore leaned further into Nicky, who used her free hand to support herself as she slowly but surely was pushed backwards.

Before either of the could hit the ground though, Adore pulled back, red smudged all over her mouth. She used her sleeve to wipe her mouth, smiling victoriously. Nicky chuckled, muttering something in French before sitting back down next to Jan, the bottle in hand, ready to spin. Her cheeks were reddened and lipstick smudged, and Jan found herself wanting to wipe it clean for her.

The bottle did its rounds, slowing down, before coming to a halt, its open end gaping right at Jan.

All air left the young brunettes lungs. Alaska gasped out cartoonishly, getting a shove from Lagoona.

Jan barely noticed any of her antics. Her eyes shot upwards, immediately met by Nicky‘s calm, grey gaze, blinking at her brighter than the sequins of her dress from under her full, dark lashes. They stared at each other for a long moment, before Jan suddenly felt the warmth of Nicky‘s palm on her thigh.

„Are you okay, cherié? We can always skip the round if you don’t want to …“ Jan shook her head energetically. „No, it’s fine“, her voice was almost non existent, more of a breath than anything really. For some reason, it was suddenly impossible for her to look at anything but Nicky’s lips, red all over, corners quirked up. So she was going to wipe them clean after all …

Nicky‘s free hand found Jan, stroking a strand of hair behind her ear. Her nose almost touched the tip of Jan‘s, who hadn’t even realized how she had leaned in closer. Nicky smiled slightly, something burning in her eyes that Jan couldn’t quite name. But it was alright, because whatever it was burned just about as hot as the sudden excitement in the pit of her stomach. Nicky moved even closer, and Jan closed her eyes. Their lips met gently, almost shy at first. The complete opposite of how Adore had kissed Nicky. Jan could taste whiskey on Nicky’s lips as well as citrus and soda. She smelled of Eau de toilette, as well as something more minty in her hair. Nicky kissed slowly, patient yet demanding and Jan crooked her neck to deepen the touch. She felt the subtle vibration of Nicky‘s chuckle more than she heard it, her hands finding Nicky‘s shoulders to pull her close. When she felt her tongue against her lips, Jan parted them without hesitation. Nicky slid inside, nipping at Jan‘s upper lip, experimentally licking along her teeth and Jan felt herself sigh into it. No one had ever kissed her like that. The moment felt vivid, almost magic, and it was over way too soon.

Nicky pulled back gently, her thumb stroking over Jans lips before sitting back, moving out of Jan’s space again. The younger girl almost wished she wouldn’t, but stayed quiet. Her chest still fluttered with ecstasy and she needed a few moments to calm down. This was definitely not where she had seen the night going.

„Alright“, Lagoona clapped her hands together, looking anywhere but towards Jan or Nicky. Her ears were brightly red as she scrambled to her feet. „I don’t know about you, but I’m done with this game for now. I’ll go look for Rosie, that bitch has to be somewhere.“ Trevor followed after her, the door falling shut behind them again.

Willam cackled. „Cute“, she commented, winking towards Jan, „You put on such a show, your own sister got startled.“

„Not just her“, Adore cackled, phone in hands. „People are going crazy over your soft porn.“

„What?“, Nicky and Jan let out at once. Almost knocking her cup over, Jan began go scramble for her phone. Adore had tagged her in a story. Her fingers started to shake as she clicked on it, Nicky glancing over her shoulder. „Adore!“, Jan yelped. The reality star had recorded a video of them, Jan leaning into Nicky who basically had to dip backwards, tongues intertwined and Jan‘s face curled into a dopey smile. And several hundred people had already seen it.

A buzz.

Nicky peeled her eyes off Jan‘s phone to grab her own. While her eyes were widened, she seemed a lot calmer than Jan felt. Adore had hundreds of thousands of followers …

Nicky unlocked her phone, Jan couldn’t help but glance at the screen. When she saw the notification pop up on it, she immediately wished she hadn’t. Her entire body froze. Everything stopped, the temperature must be falling several degrees, because Jan felt her whole body shiver. Her stomach twisted into one tight, painful knot and the lump in her throat made breathing impossible.

Nicky had a message from Jackie.

Seems like you’re having a fun night. Might wanna check insta later. And a link attached.

Jackie saw.

Jackie saw Jan kiss Nicky.

In this moment wanted nothing more than for the earth to open and swallow her whole. Fuck.

#OOP #plot twist :) #academia au #jankie #sportdoll #more cameos! #berry’s writings #some willam/Courtney if you squint #some Biadore even if you don’t #i really said everyone is gay