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#and it aint like it takes me more than a few weeks to post normally anyways sO
skyartworkzzz · 2 months
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HMMMMMMMM COTL sona.......................
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onequalityduck · 2 years
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i know it’s been a few weeks but that reply to the post you made about sanitizing queer sexuality in media where you failed to understand the OP and told them to just “say you want people to fuck more in media” was truly so stupid and dismissive of you. why are you like this
Ansjakhcjeoanja yea it was a few weeks! Omg had to look way back for me to see it.
Hmmm, dunno if u really want my answer, I mean like I’m not really important lol nobody follows me nor do I post any shit, hell you may never see this, but I’ll explain my answer bc I love to talk lol. Also because this is like a super important topic. The topic of who gets allocated the measly amount of representation we get!
See, my problem with the tweet is that it mixes romance and sexuality, and I think the tweet itself is sanitized. Yeah, I actually agree with op, apart from the pitting gays against each other, like that just causes infighting. Lets call it what it is; we gays want to see our community represented outside the hand-holdy, puritanical blink-and-you-miss-it kiss that shapes most gay representation, especially lesbians. Lesbians ONLY get more-than-friends vibes and we all know why, it’s not to make ace people happy that nobody’s fucking in their media. It’s to make straight people happy that they can just pretend to bypass the fact that they are lesbians, and can just pretend they’re good friends.
There’s a reason why Gomez and Morticia Addams have a marriage like they do, it’s because to our American society explicitly desiring your partner is not normal. I believe normalizing desire, especially between gay people, can also make things better for the ace community because the straights are just so obsessed with hiding sex away that maybe they’ll stop hiding it in EVERYTHING. Like why does a chocolate ad need to have a naked woman fr.
But also like, let’s normalize saying the word sex! Say the word fuck! Say you want a woman to kiss another woman down her neck and tell her how fuckable she is outside of porn!! I guess I’m not really expecting much from a tweet that can only be so many characters, but every comment on the post is kinda dancing around that too. You say you want to normalize sexuality then fucking say it! But then also don’t forget who made you this way. It aint old gays who want to see more old gays being domestic, it ain’t baby gays still uncomfortable seeing their own sexuality, and it aint the ace community. That’s the community I know either the op tweet was targeting or certainly the comments on it but like. It aint them doing it. This is the work of puritanical patriarchical homophobic views by the straights who view all of us as vile and sick and perverted. They and the system that perpetuates this is sanitizing our media, and infighting ain’t gonna stop it. It’s going to help it, that’s what they do, try to polarize us so we cant support each other and fight against them like tale as old as time bud.
So, like, acknowledge everyone is trying to fight their own fight to be seen in their media, say you personally want the gays to fuck (aka be less sanitized), and move on.
Thanks for giving me the opportunity to explain my stance! I agree, my original comment on it was hard to understand but lol what can ya do with character limits? Lol i totally said you gotta word your shit right and then I go do the same so like, I’mma take that comment down bc obv if it’s making people mad then I didn’t explain myself well. Hopefully I explained it better now!
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Words, Words, Words
Prompt: Hey, prompt idea! I would love some roman angst where after POF he stops talking and the other assume that he's mad at them when in reality he is unable to speak. As a selective mute myself, I would love to read a fic like this! - anon
it's been a while since I've posted fresh Roman angst and WOW did this jump out at me and go hey do you wanna project really really hard onto a character? 
Read on Ao3
Warnings: Roman is nonverbal for a lot of this story and some of the things he does when he’s upset by that are self-destructive, nothing explicit
Pairings: the found family kick aint stopping
Word Count: 4128
He didn’t do it on purpose. He swears, he—he didn’t do it on purpose.
  He just couldn’t talk.
It—it hurt, of…of course, it hurt to—to see the fallout of his bad decision explode with such…disastrous consequences. It hurt to see Patton so upset and confused because everyone was expecting him to have answers that he didn’t and—and Roman will take the blame for that, that’s his fault. And it hurt to see Logan so upset even when he was just there in his lowdowns and he—he didn’t have to be so cruel to Logan, that’s his fault too. And it—
  …it hurt to see that he really is just as awful as Remus, even if J—
  No. It doesn’t matter.
  Roman messed up. Really, really bad. And he’ll take the blame for that, he will, he—he knows he hasn’t been the best at accepting the blame in the past, but…he’ll take this one.
  But he didn’t do this on purpose.
  Roman doesn’t know whether it’s because he’s Creativity, or whether he’s the Ego, or what, but sometimes he just…can’t speak. Sometimes his words machine will just…stop working and he won’t be able to speak. He can normally still write or text, and he can understand when others talk, he just can’t say anything.
  The others don’t know, at least he’s never told them. He doesn’t want to be a bother—or have them start to make fun of him when he can’t defend himself—so he normally makes his writing days the ones where he can’t speak out loud. It’s a good way to make sure no one’s worried about why he’s shut up in his room all day or why he’s not speaking much at dinner. Plus, what kind of a prince would he be if he couldn’t talk?
  Don’t worry, he knows he’s not a prince.
  But the others like Prince Roman. Or rather, they like the narrative function that Prince Roman fulfills. So he does his best to make sure they…get that.
  But he didn’t mean for it to happen, not like this.
  He…he knows he messed up after the wedding. He sunk out and made it to his room and fell to his knees, hurt from everything and then some. The bruises hadn’t shown through his costume or gotten too far down his sleeves, but he—he still felt them. He tried to get up and make it to the shower to just wash off the day—the week—the month but getting his arms up to peel away the costume left him panting and he just wanted to curl up and sleep until everything stopped hurting.
  He managed to get himself into the shower and felt his tongue become lead in his mouth.
  He cleared his throat to try and make a noise but all that escaped was a soft rush of air.
  It…hurt.
  It wasn’t gone by morning. Most of the time he can sleep it off or—or if he just gives it some time he’ll—he’ll be fine but it wasn’t gone. His tongue lay there, useless, and he couldn’t say a word.
  That was okay, though, he could—he could make this a writing day. He wouldn’t dare touch anything he wanted to make for Thomas, his hands would shake too much and he—he doesn’t know what Thomas wants anymore so he wouldn’t get it right even if he could try.
  No, no, he could…he could write things for him today.
  Not as a reward for his atrocious behavior, not anything that would be read by anyone else or be useful in any way, but just to…to get some of the worst bits of him out so he wasn’t absolutely abominable when the others wanted him again. Yes, today he could…write.
  ‘Writing,’ what an interesting word for being willing to sit and bleed for others to see.
  Roman’s words don’t so much as pour out of him as much as he sets his fingers on his keys and then can’t control his typing. He just—it hurt and he knows that no one else would want to hear about his hurt so he pours them out into the blank spaces in the white page and tries to imagine that maybe, maybe, someone would read them and see how badly it hurt and pull him close and tell him that everything would be okay.
  If maybe, if he wrote a story good enough, if he made it hurt enough, someone would care.
  He sits there and pours into the blank document until it’s panting and weary from the torrent of words, until his hands ache and the tips of his fingers are worn warm and raw from the click-click-click of the keys. Until the hurt he feels gathers up into a small, dark well just under his tongue, right in the bottom of his jaw, itching and screaming to get out. It leaks out down his arms, making the inside of his wrists tingle as he types.
  No one will read this, no one will see it. These words won’t see the light of day anytime soon.
  And Roman’s tongue is still made of lead.
  He takes his words and lets them tumble clumsily out of his hands, trying in vain to scoop them up and shove them out of his mouth instead but his tongue won’t cooperate. He knows he can’t talk, that he can’t force it, that trying to make it happen will only lead to more pain.
  But he wants to try.
  When his words aren’t back by the next day, he swallows what’s left of his pride, which isn’t much, and goes out to face the others.
  He finds Patton first. Patton doesn’t acknowledge him, so he sits politely down on the couch with a notebook and waits, trying to see if his words will come out through the pen instead of his tongue. But Patton doesn’t talk to him unless he’s asking if Roman wants a drink and well, Roman doesn’t—doesn’t need words for that.
  Patton looks so disappointed in him.
  He wants to try. He wants to open his mouth and tell Patton he’s sorry. Sorry for everything. He wants to. He wants to.
  He opens his mouth and his tongue deflates, useless, just enough for him to sigh and hunch his shoulders in defeat.
  He doesn’t want to disappoint Patton, he wasn’t trying to disappoint Patton, he wants to apologize and be better, but he can’t.
  Perhaps that is the true disappointment.
  Logan is next to appear because Logan is Logan and Roman loves him and Logan always gets his cup of coffee in the morning before breakfast. He walks down the stairs and also does not look at Roman which is fine because that is what Roman deserves but he wants to try.
  He opens his mouth to call out to Logan or Patton but his tongue is so heavy and he can’t. He can’t speak. He should be able to speak, he should be able to say something to Logan, he should be able to tell him how sorry he is but he can’t and he’s useless.
  His pen stands frozen on the notebook pages, leaving a big, dark, useless well of ink.
  Logan sits down on the couch with a book and his coffee. He doesn’t look up at Roman. Roman stares at him, pleading, hoping that Logan will look up and meet his gaze, and maybe, just maybe, he can see how sorry Roman is and it will—something will be better.
  “Don’t stare at me, Roman, it’s rude.”
  Roman’s cheeks burn as he looks away. Logan didn’t move his eyes from the book once.
  He picks up the pen and watches it drip onto the page. The pages are wet, now, so much so that when he tries to pull them apart they stick together, the lines threatening to tear as he tries to separate them.
  He leaves them be.
  The next few hours are spent in a loop of trying to open his mouth to say something and only a soft rush of air escaping. He tries to hold it behind his hand and say please, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so awful, I’ll be better, I promise, but the words won’t come. His tongue is taunting him, he decides, by pressing insistently up against the back of his teeth until he has to open his mouth only for it to refuse to produce words.
  He wants Logan to explain to him that talking works for him too. That the vocal chords and the muscles of the throat moving together build up pressure behind the larynx, which then chops up the stream of air to produce a steady oscillation for a sustained sound. He wants Logan to say it in that voice of his that makes it so everything makes sense so of course, Roman, you can speak, it’s okay. Everything is okay.
  But Logan would never say that, not to Roman, because Roman’s words aren’t worth Logan’s time.
  When Virgil comes downstairs, he tries. He really tries. He opens his mouth and everything and takes a deep breath and—
  Virgil marches straight over to Logan and sits down, his head on Logan’s shoulder and the two of them could not be paying any less attention to Roman.
  The wind gets knocked out of him. His mouth falters closed. He tries to open it away but his jaws are stiff and gummy, his teeth aching in his mouth as he tries to just talk. He just wants to say something, he just wants to apologize, he just waits to be sorry and have them all know he’s sorry, he’s so sorry, but they won’t know because he doesn’t have words.
  The words he wants to say are queuing up at the back of his throat, weighing his mouth down and he wants to say them, but he—he—he can’t. He wants to tell Virgil that he’s sorry he’s been the worst friend ever, that he’s sorry he’s so awful to their famILY, that he’ll go away and leave them all alone if that’s what they want but he can’t say a damn word of it out loud and he’s going to cry.
  But he can’t because crying isn’t words and the only thing the others want from him is words.
  If Virgil notices him trying, which he probably doesn’t, he’s kind enough not to say anything.
  Roman is terrified when Remus comes.
  Because Remus is loud and loves nothing more than to make Roman’s life harder. If Remus knew he was nonverbal right now, his best bet would be to leave as quickly as possible because he—
  Wait, no.
  If Roman wanted it to be best for him, he would leave as fast as possible. But Roman doesn’t know anything anymore so he doesn’t move.
  Remus, as it turns out, doesn’t care about Roman—which, why would he?—and instead flops proudly onto the floor and begins to talk animatedly with Logan about something.
  Roman wants to say sorry. Sorry that he’s never done anything right when it comes to Remus, sorry that he thinks being compared to him is the worst thing possible, sorry that he’s Roman and Remus is stuck with him.
  But his tongue is lifeless.
  So he is quiet, flipping aimlessly through his notebook, looking for something to give his words back.
  Was he selfish yesterday? Did he use all of them up on something no one would ever see? No, no, that’s not how it works, he just—he knows he should be able to talk, maybe if he just waits a little longer, his words will come back.
  But then Janus appears.
  And Roman needs to be able to talk now.
  Because he needs to tell Janus that he’s sorry. That he messed everything up and he’s awful and he knows it and he’s so, so, so sorry. And he needs to know that it isn’t a lie, that Roman is genuinely sorry and he just needs to speak, if he could just open his mouth and say something and say that he’s sorry and—and—
  Janus stops and looks right at him.
  Roman’s breath catches in his throat.
  Janus’s eyes narrow.
  Please, please, I’m sorry, let me say I’m sorry, I can’t speak, I want to speak, let me speak—
  Janus’s face cools into stone and he deliberately turns away.
  Roman wants to scream.
  He scrambles away from the living room and his hands fly to his hair, squeezing, pulling, trying to rip the sound from his throat because it won’t come otherwise. Trying to reach deep inside and find something, some word, some sound, some thing just to make it so he can talk, say he’s sorry, say anything.
  The computer screen blinks mockingly at him. Come on, it taunts, where was this agony when you were pouring your words out onto me yesterday? Why do you ache so badly now when you know you can’t do anything about it? Is it worth it?
  Nothing will ever be worth this. To have them there, right in front of him, and not be able to tell them how sorry he is.
  A silent scream is the best he can do.
  It doesn’t stop. His tongue doesn’t flicker back to life. Even after two days, three days, four, he still can’t manage to speak. He can’t manage to open his mouth and make a single word come out. He tries. He sits down in front of the computer and glares at the screen, forcing his mouth to make the shapes and forcing his vocal chords to make the sounds.
  He never gets further than a single word.
  He rushes, slurs, cheats in any way he can, and doesn’t even manage to get to the end of a sentence.
  He’s panting, in tears, trying, trying, trying so hard to say something, anything, because if he can say one thing, he can say more, and if he can say more, he can tell them how sorry he is.
  Roman would gladly give up all the words he doesn’t have to be able to say ‘sorry’ again.
  (Logan, downstairs, glances up from his book.
  Virgil is sprawled next to him on the couch, his head resting against Logan’s thigh. Patton is sitting on the other end, Virgil’s legs in his lap as he talks to Janus. Janus sits in the chair, his own book forgotten on his lap. Well, almost forgotten as he tugs it out of Remus’s grasp as he makes…something on the floor.
  “It’s been quiet recently,” he remarks to himself, “almost…peaceful.”
  Virgil shifts. “Yeah, I know. I kinda like it.”
  “So do I.” He glances down and, after a moment of hesitation, slides his hand into Virgil’s hair. “Is this alright?”
  “Yeah, L, that’s fine.”
  “Aww, you two are cute.” Patton grins at them. “It’s been nice lately, hasn’t it?”
  “Mm.” Janus tugs the book out of Remus’s reach again. “Remus, I certainly understand what you want with my book.”
  “Art, Janny.”
  Janus rolls his eyes fondly but his gaze softens as he takes in the room. It has been quiet. A good kind of quiet.
  He doesn’t know it didn’t happen on purpose.
  That Roman isn’t being quiet on purpose.
  He didn’t do it on purpose.
  Because when has anything Roman’s done on purpose been right?)
——————————————
Thomas sighs, his hands on his hips, as Patton and Logan begin to bicker for the third time in the past ten minutes. Across from him, Virgil is fidgeting uncomfortably as his gaze flicks back and forth between Janus and Thomas.
  “Guys, are you really not going to do anything about this?”
  “Oh, yes, because that’s how we solve every problem, just make me deal with it.”
  “Okay, first of all, I said you guys meaning you and Thomas, second—“
  “Oh, here we go, another lecture, oh goodie.”
  “That is not what I’m doing—“
  And now Virgil and Janus are fighting too. Thomas resists the urge to bury his face in his hands. Barely. Just barely. He shakes his head. The Sides aren’t normally this hard to manage, typically it’s just a matter of everyone actually understanding what’s going on and then one of them will propose a solution and they’ll all wrangle it around from angle to angle until he finally gets a workable one.
  Not this time.
  He’s not sure why nothing’s working, but everything that’s been proposed just sounds like another problem, not a solution. Why coming up with ideas is so hard today, he doesn’t—
  Wait.
  Has…has Roman said anything today?
  Thomas glances at Roman. Roman stands where he always does, watching the others with a strangely blank look on his face. Thomas frowns. Roman…Roman doesn’t look great. He looks paler than usual, his face is a little poofy.
  “Roman?”
  Roman looks at him, his brow quirked.
  “Do you…have any ideas?”
  Roman’s face falls and he swallows. Thomas’s frown deepens when Roman shakes his head sadly.
  “Hey, wait,” Virgil says, turning to face him, “Thomas is right. You haven’t said anything all meeting.”
  “You have been remarkably quiet. Especially for you.” Logan adjusts his glasses. “Have you not come up with a single idea?”
  “Okay, guys, wait—“ Thomas tries.
  “No wonder we aren’t making any progress,” Virgil cries, throwing up his hands, “it’s because the guy whose job it is to come up with ideas isn’t doing anything!”
  “That…would explain it.”
  “Come on, kiddo,” Patton says, looking at Roman, “you must have something.”
  Roman just shakes his head again.
  “Of course he doesn’t want to share it with us,” Virgil growls, “he’s probably waiting for us to figure it out for him because he’s still mad.”
  Patton sighs, shaking his head and putting his hands on his hips. Even Thomas wants to flush from the disappointment in his voice. “I understand being mad at us, kiddo—I’m not happy about it, but I understand it—but taking it out on Thomas? That’s really selfish of you.”
  Roman flinches, his hand going to his chest. Janus rolls his eyes.
  “Oh, Roman doesn’t know what that word means, remember? He’s all about selflessness, not selfishness, no, not a single selfish bone in his body, Roman.”
  Virgil snorts.
  “I am also disappointed,” Logan sighs, “but not surprised. But seriously, Roman, I think this temper tantrum of yours has gone on long enough.”
  “Watch out, he’s gonna say it’s not a temper tantrum.”
  Is…is this how they are to Roman all the time? Thomas stares at the other Sides in confusion. Has he just never noticed how mean they are to each other before? Or is this…new? He looks back at Roman and opens his mouth to say something when he notices Roman’s hand is still on his chest.
  And…moving.
  His thumb is tucked against the top of his fist and Thomas watches as it circles once, twice, and stops. Once, twice, and stops.
  “Roman,” he says softly, cutting through the growing voices of the others, “Roman, why are you sorry?”
  “What?”
  “Thomas, what’re you—“
  “That—this—“ Thomas makes the sign himself—“that’s the ASL for ‘sorry.’ Remember?”
  Logan looks back at Roman who does it again. “So it is. But—Roman, why are you communicating using ASL, which none of us are fluent in? Most of us aren’t fluent in, my apologies, Janus—“ Janus waves him off— “why not just say that you’re sorry?”
  “Roman,” Thomas asks, still quiet, “can you speak?”
  They all watch in silence as Roman slowly shakes his head.
  “What do you mean you can’t speak?”
  “Probably just that, Virgil.” Logan adjusts his glasses.
  Thomas spares him a glance before refocusing on Roman. “Are you okay, buddy?”
  Roman looks at the ground. Virgil watches him for a moment before leaning to Logan.
  “I’m gonna guess that’s a ‘no.’”
  “How long has this been happening?”
  “Yes or no questions, guys,” Thomas reminds, “and…not too many.”
  “Right.” Logan takes a breath and when he speaks again, Thomas furrows his brow at how much softer Logan sounds. “Roman, has this been happening since the beginning of the meeting?”
  Roman nods.
  “Has it been happening for longer?”
  Another nod.
  “How long,” Virgil asks warily, only for Logan to hiss ‘yes or no’ in his ear, “right, um…has it been happening for longer than a day?”
  Roman nods, studiously avoiding eye contact. Janus bites back a curse.
  “Roman, have you not been able to speak since the wedding?”
  When Roman nods again, Thomas has to bite back a curse of his own. Virgil doesn’t.
  “Fuck, Princey, why didn’t you tell one of us?”
  “With what words,” Janus spits, “and who’s to say we would’ve believed him?”
  “Oh, sweetheart,” Patton murmurs, reaching for him, “I’m so sorry.”
  At this, Roman shakes his head furiously.
  “Hey, hey, easy, Princey, it’s okay, what was that for?”
  “He seemed to really dislike the idea of Patton apologizing…”
  “What were you apologizing for, Roman,” Thomas asks instead, “before we—before?”
  Roman nods.
  “Yeah, bud, you were apologizing, do you remember what for?”
  A nod.
  “He’s saying ‘yes,’” Virgil murmurs.
  “Yeah, we got that.”
  “No, I mean—“ Virgil sighs— “you asked him what he was apologizing for and he’s saying ‘yes.’ That means anything you could ask him if he’s apologizing for, he’d say yes.”
  “So…” Logan looks back and forth between them. “He’s apologizing for…everything?”
  “Yeah.”
  And Roman nods.
“Oh, sweetie,” Janus says softly and whoa, that’s…unexpected, “you don’t need to do that.”
  Roman’s mouth hardens stubbornly as if to say yes I do.
  “You can’t be blamed for not being able to speak, Roman,” Logan says gently, “it’s not your fault.”
  “Kiddo,” Patton calls when Roman still looks unsure, “are you mad at us?”
  Roman’s head snaps up and he shakes his head frantically. Patton holds out his arms to soothe him.
  “And we’re not mad at you, sweetheart, it’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”
  “Let’s call it here,” Thomas says, giving Roman a nod, “we can figure this out later.”
  “What do you need, Roman,” Virgil asks, “how can we help?”
  “That’s…definitely not a yes or no question.”
  Thomas frowns. Then he reaches out a hand.
  “Hey!” Remus pops up, manic grin and all. “What’s shakin’, bacon?”
  “I do not think bacon shakes, Remus.”
  “Sir Francis Bacon?”
  “What?”
  “You two gotta stop watching Phineas and Ferb,” Virgil mutters.
  Remus just grins and turns, freezing when he sees Roman. Thomas blinks and Remus’s entire demeanor changes.
  “Ro-Bro? Roro, you okay?”
  Roman looks up at him. Remus lays a hand on his shoulder.
  “You nonverbal?”
  Roman nods. Remus wraps his arms around Roman’s waist.
  “I’m taking this,” he announces, “bye!”
  Thomas chuckles as Remus sinks out, Roman in tow, even as Patton and Virgil rush after them going ‘let us help!’ Logan just rolls his eyes fondly and follows them. Thomas catches hold of Janus’s cloak before he can leave too.
  “Are you guys always like that to Roman?”
  Janus gives him a strange look. “You mean are you always like that to Roman?”
  “What?”
  “We’re you, Thomas,” Janus says bluntly, “we’re the physical manifestation of what goes on in your head. Or have you forgotten that your main way of problem-solving is to summon metaphysical color-coded versions of yourself and talk to them?”
  “Your point?”
  “The way we act is how you see us. We behave how our respective parts of you behave.” Janus gives him a look. “If you think we’re being mean to Roman, what does that say about how you feel about your Ego or your Creativity?”
  Oh.
  Oh.
  Oh, no.
  “Take better care of yourself,” Janus says, softer now, “and it might surprise you.”
  “You really can’t help yourself, can you?”
  “I think,” Janus says, looking far too smug as he pulls away, “you mean that you can’t help yourself.”
  Thomas scoffs as Janus disappears but after a few seconds, his words start to make sense. He turns to grab his laptop and opens it, finding a blank document and watching the cursor blink.
  The others might not be able to listen to Roman, but he always can.
  “Alright,” he mutters to himself, “let’s see what Roman’s got to say.”
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wiypt-writes · 3 years
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Stark Spangled Rebirth
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Chapter 3: You Look Taller
Summary: Steve is transformed into the world’s first Super Soldier, but after a bomb is detonated in the SSR lab, he is soon putting his new found strength to the test.
Warnings: Bad Language words.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark
Word Count- 7.5k ish
A/N:  I might have taken a few liberties here with the way things worked in the Army in the 40s but, let’s face it, no more than the MCU did! Any mistakes are my own. I’ll probably spot them once posted but, whatever!
This series is my contribution of sorts to the CATF 10 Year Anniversary Challenge.
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
SSR Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 2
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Steve didn’t sleep a wink that night. His mind was in overdrive, his body spiking with just about as many contrasting emotions one could possibly feel all at once. Excitement, fear, pride, concern, uncertainty, determination…and then there were his thoughts about Katie and what they’d done last night. He was conflicted about that as well. On the one hand it had been so wrong, to have rubbed one another to release through their clothes, without even courting so to speak. It went against everything his Ma had taught him about treating a dame with respect, instead he’d gone head and behaved just like Bucky normally did when he paraded around in his uniform, using it to pick up any woman he could.
But on the other, nothing had ever felt so damned right to him before in his life.
He still couldn’t quite believe it, although the evidence it had happened was plain to see in his pants which he’d hastily changed and hidden in the bottom of his trunk. What he was having trouble processing was why. Why a dame like that had picked a guy like him. He still wasn’t completely convinced she wasn’t acting out of pity. Pity that he was about to undergo some transformation and had never been touched that way before.
But then she’d admitted that she hadn’t either. “What was it you said about waiting for the right partner?”
Maybe she did actually feel something for him. And whilst it hadn’t been the most conventional beginning, perhaps it might morph into something else?
 With a groan he shook his head, who was he kidding? It was June, 1943 and they were in the middle of a war. He was about to be injected with some kind of serum that was either going to turn him into a soldier with enhanced capabilities or…well, he didn’t want to think about the 'or'. Either way, he knew what should be at the forefront of his mind, and a relationship with Katie Stark was not it.
He went about his morning routine as normal. Thanks to the SSR’s programme being covert, most people on the base completely ignored him as usual, which suited him fine. The last thing he wanted was people asking him questions about how he was feeling, because he simply didn’t know. This time, once he was dressed he ensured all his belongings were packed ready to be taken to his new barracks, wherever they were going to be and no sooner had he done that the door opened and he snapped to attention, saluting the soldier that had arrived along with Agent Carter.
“Hello Steve," she smiled at him.
“Good morning, Ma’am.” He said, his hand, dropping to his side and he relaxed as she instructed him to be at ease.
“Are you ready?” She asked.
“As I’ll ever be.”
“Good, follow me then.”
Grabbing his hat he headed after her, walking in silence through the camp, his eyes focussed directly ahead. Eventually he was led around to the main office buildings, outside of which a car was waiting. Peggy walked around one side where the driver opened the door for her and Steve snapped himself out of his thoughts and climbed into the other side, shutting the door behind him.
 The two or so hour drive from New Jersey to their destination was quiet. Agent Carter made a little small talk, but for the most she was silent or conversing with the driver. That said, it seemed to fly by in comparison to when he had taken the trip the other way a little under a week ago. As he glanced at the buildings passing them by, one by one they started to get familiar.
“I know this neighborhood," Steve said absentmindedly as he looked out of the window. “I got beat up in that alley.” He continued watching his finger pointing out of the window, his eyebrows raised as he spotted another familiar landmark, “and that parking lot.” Another pause as his head dropped slightly, eyes on his hands which were clasped on his lap, “and behind that diner.”
“Did you have something against running away?” Peggy asked and Steve took a deep breath, shaking his head as he remembered his Ma’s words to him.
“You start running they’ll never let you stop.” He explained, once more glancing out of the window, “You stand up, push back. Can’t say no forever, right?” He gave a shrug and once more his eyes fell to his hands. He stared at them, and the longer he stared the more he thought back. 
Hands that had last night traced the soft curves of Agent Stark’s hips, breasts. The vision coming in so clear, nearly like a picture show and it caused him to swallow a little, his throat and mouth feeling dry and he couldn’t help but wish that it was Katie in the car with him, not Agent Carter. Whilst the pretty, British woman sat on the seat beside him had always been pleasant enough to him, there was something about Katie that just kept him grounded if there ever were a word to describe the way she made him feel. He never once felt jittery in her presence yet now, as he sat there being quizzed on something that was actually quite personal, he was starting to feel a little angsty.
 “I know a little of what that’s like. To have every door shut in your face.” Peggy spoke gently as she looked at him and Steve met her gaze for a second before she looked forward once more, and his mind strayed back to something Katie had said last night.
“Yeah, I guess so.” He looked down at his hands. “Katie…I mean Agent Stark told me about how people weren’t exactly open to the pair of you joining the SSR or the Army.”
“She did?” Agent Carter looked at him, her brown drawing ever so slightly into a frown.
 Steve nodded, “last night.” And no sooner had the words left his mouth his eyes widened as he realised he’d outed the fact Katie had come to his barracks. Peggy looked at him, an immaculately shaped brow arched slightly, rouged lips curling up into a smirk at one side as Steve began to babble out an excuse. “She came to check on me, along with Dr Erskine. I mean, well, just as he was leaving that is. There was…we just…”
 “You don’t need to explain. What you and Agent Stark do is nothing to do with me,” Peggy shook her head, the corner of her lips twitching as Steve hastily looked away, out of the window, his cheeks burning. “I do know one thing though...."
 “What’s that?” Steve’s head whipped round to look at her.
“She’s soft on you.” Peggy replied simply “That’s why she’s been torn ever since you got picked to be our candidate.”
“Torn?”
“In case it goes wrong.” Peggy shrugged, "Or you change in more ways than physically which means you’re no longer the man she…” Peggy trailed off, licking her lips taking a deep breath before she continued “…the man she clearly cares for.”
Steve met her eyes for a second before he looked away, his stomach now twisting in knots that had nothing to do with the procedure he was about to undergo. But the warmth and excitement he had initially felt at what Peggy had said died all too fast because of course it would be just his luck to finally meet a gal that enjoyed his company, liked him for who he was, a gal who he felt comfortable with and attracted to, just as he was about to undergo whatever the hell this procedure entailed before he shipped off to goodness knows where.
Fate was a cruel mistress sometimes.
The rest of the journey passed in silence, and it wasn’t long before the car pulled up at the side of a fairly busy street and Steve frowned, following Agent Carter’s lead, climbing out of the vehicle. He took a quick look around. There were plenty of people on the sidewalks in the summer sun, going about their everyday business, none paying him any attention.
“This way.” Agent Carter spoke and he spun to follow her, taking a look up at the fairly non-descript shop called ‘Brooklyn Antiques’ which she was leading him towards.
“What are we doing here?” he asked.
“Follow me.” Peggy completely ignored his question and instead walked into the shop, Steve behind her, placing his hat on his head.  The bell above the door rang as Peggy pushed it open, Steve pausing to shut it behind him as Agent Carter strolled into the dimly lit, crowded shop. It smelt of old leather, wax and furniture polish and was crammed full of all sorts of intriguing items that Steve would normally have found fascinating.
 But as it stood he was just plain confused.
Peggy stopped still as an old woman with grey hair, clad in a floaty dress and a pink cardigan emerged through a set of heavy drapes and stopped, smiling at them both. “Wonderful Weather this morning, aint it?” she spoke.
 “Yes, but I always carry an umbrella.” Peggy replied.
 At her words the woman gave an almost in perceptible nod and moved to the desk which held the cash register. Steve heard a faint buzz and then Peggy gently gestured once more for him to follow her. He did so as she walked through the drapes the woman had emerged from into a crowded store room of sorts which held photos, heavy gilded frames, basically everything his Ma would have labelled junk. He stopped besides Peggy as she looked at a huge book shelf which covered nearly the entire back wall and then to his absolute astonishment the book shelf simply opened towards him revealing that it was actually a set of solid steel doors.
 Steve’s mouth dropped open as he was now facing a huge corridor which was in use by a number of military and medical staff walking by. Agent Carter stepped in and he did the same, following her down, glancing every so often to his side at the Military Police Officers and soldiers, trying to figure out how the hell all of this was hidden from public sight on the outside. Eventually they reached a set of double doors which were pulled open and Steve found himself on the mezzanine balcony of a huge circular room filled with machinery, some kind of pod in the middle of the chamber he was looking over. It was full of doctors and technicians, all dressed in white lab coats and the entire room fell silent as everyone looked up at him. He immediately spotted Katie, stood by Dr Erskine. His eyes locked onto hers and even from the distance he was away he could see they were shining in the light of the lab.
 Agent Carter took a deep breath and tuned to her right, Steve hastily following her down the metal steps to the lower part of the chamber. He strode over to where Dr Erskine was waiting, file in hand besides Katie who smiled at him. 
“Hi.” She said gently and he smiled back at her, swallowing a little as his attention turned to Dr Erskine as the doctor spoke.
“Good morning.” He smiled, shaking Steve’s hand when suddenly a camera flashed as a photographer who Steve hadn’t noticed snapped a shot, causing Steve to blink a little. “Please, not now.” Erskine protested and the photographer made a hasty retreat, ushered away by Peggy as she followed him from the chamber, directing him away from the equipment and up the stairs to the side.
Steve turned to his right, looking at the pod, his eyes roving all the dials and the various components, his chest expanding as he took a deep breath.
 “Are you ready?” Katie asked softly and Steve nodded his head, turning back to her.
 “Good.” Erskine spoke. “Take off your shirt, your tie and your hat.”
“Maybe the hat first.” Katie quipped, pointing out the order Erskine had said the clothing items in was a little awry and Erskine looked at her, sarcastically. She met his stare with an equally sassy one of her own, a cheeky grin on her face as she shrugged.
 Steve did as he was told, handing his items of clothing off to a nurse who smiled, taking it away before Erskine directed Steve up the steps to the left of the pod. He climbed up, shuffled around slightly as Katie watched him lay down, his head on the leather headrest at the top.
“Comfortable?” Katie asked him.
“It’s a little big.” Steve joked, smiling and she gave a soft chuckle, reaching out to touch his arm. Her hand was surprisingly warm and she left it there for just long enough before she pulled back as Erskine appeared by her side, smiling. “You save me any of that schnapps?” Steve looked at him.
“Not as much as I should have.” Erskine almost grimaced, “sorry. Next time” at that he stepped back. “Mr. Stark, how are your levels?”
Steve glanced to his left and for the first time caught a glimpse of Katie’s brother up close as he strode towards them, clad in a smart pair of slacks, white shirt, tie and waistcoat.
“Levels at 100%.” Howard replied as he stopped besides his sister, taking a look at Steve. Now they were side by side, the resemblance between the two was clear to see. Same nose, cheekbones, but Katie’s hair was a lighter shade, her eyes a warm, striking green where Howard’s were a deep brown.
 “Good.” Erskine turned away as Howards eyes roved over Steve a little.
 “We may dim half the lights in Brooklyn, but we are ready,” Howard smiled, “as we’ll ever be.”
“He’s not a damned fish in a bowl, Howie.” Katie nudged her brother as he was still staring at Steve. Howard turned to face her, his eyebrow arched, before he gave Steve one last look and headed off towards some kind of machine in the far corner of the room.
 “Ass.” Katie shook her head before she glanced at Steve. “Are you sure you wanna do this?” She dropped her voice, “If you’re having any…” “I’m not.” Steve shook his head.
 “Okay.” She took a deep breath, and for a second looked as though she was going to say something else but she was interrupted by Erskine.
 “Agent Stark? Don’t you think you would be more comfortable in the booth?”
“Oh, erm, yeah, of course. Sorry.” She nodded and turned once more to look back at Steve. Again, she made to say something, but clearly decided against it. Instead she reached out, gave his hand a soft squeeze before she walked away. Steve watched her go and, as she approached the stairs, she stopped and looked back at him, her face softening once more into an almost shy little smile before she turned away again. 
Steve’s head rolled back round, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. His heart was racing now, and he wasn’t quite sure whether that was all down to the procedure or the fact that her hand on his had jolted another memory of their time together the previous night. Luckily, before he had time to dwell on it too much, there was a loud booming noise as Erskine loudly tapped a microphone.
“Do you hear me? Is this on?” Satisfied that it was, the doctor turned and looked up at the small group gathered to watch in the glass walled room on the level above the atrium. “Ladies and gentlemen, today we take not another step towards annihilation, but the first step on the path to peace.”
As Erskine spoke two nurses pulled down the large rectangular shaped pads at either side of the chamber, laying them flush to Steve’s chest.
“We begin with a series of micro injections into the subjects major muscle groups. The serum infusion will cause immediate cellular change.” Erskine continued as the nurses retrieved the vials of blue coloured liquid, slotting them into the appropriate receptacles along the side of the chamber by Steve’s hips. “And then to stimulate growth, the subject will be saturated with Vita-Rays.”
 Erskine walked back to Steve’s side as a nurse approached him with a syringe. She inserted it into Steve’s shoulder and he closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as she pulled the needle out of his skin.
“That wasn’t so bad.” Steve spoke, pleasantly surprised at how easy that had been. He wasn’t a huge fan of needles, having spent most of his childhood one way or another being stabbed by them for his various ailments, but he’d learned to cope with them.
However, his relief was short lived.
“That was penicillin.” Erskine looked at him and Steve felt not only apprehension creeping back into his system, but a deep embarrassment at being so dumb as to think it would be that simple.
Erskine then cleared his throat and spoke once more to the others in the room. “Serum infusion beginning in five, four…” at that two further pads like the one on his chest lowered, cuffing his arms a little “…three, two…” Erskine gently patted Steve’s shoulder “…one.”
 Steve felt the sharp cone-like spikes of the pads attached to his body piercing his skin and he could actually feel the serum as it flowed into his body. It was cold, like he’d dipped each limb into an icy lake, and the shock of it forced his eyes wide open.
“Now, Mr. Stark,” he heard Erskine say and, after a second or two he felt the pod move into an upright positions, the sides and top parts enclosing him inside. He gave a snort as he realised that the glass screen at the front, designed for whoever was in here to be able to see out of was a good 6 inches too high.
 Steve took a deep breath and then there was a little knock on the outside of the capsule.
 “Steven, can you hear me?” Erskine asked.
“It’s probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?” Steve joked, making light of what was happening, the sweat already beading on his brow. And, if he was honest, he probably could have happily peed right then, more out of nerves than anything else.
“We will proceed.” Steve heard Erskine say and then a few seconds later the capsule he was in was flooded with a warm light, as the Vita Rays were turned on.
  “That’s ten percent.” Steve could hear Howard’s voice. “Twenty percent. Thirty…that’s forty percent.”
As the count increased so did the intensity of the light and heat. What started off feeling like a pleasant dose of summer sun was rapidly becoming unbearable. Even the brightest sunlight he’d ever been in on Coney Island during the summer was nothing compared to this. He skin felt like it was on fire.
“That’s fifty percent. Sixty. Seventy.”
Despite his best attempts, the burning was simply too much and Steve couldn’t keep the yell of pain from bursting out of his mouth any longer as the vita rays washed over him. He was hot, hotter than he had ever been before. His skin was bubbling almost as if his blood was boiling similar to a kettle of water. He was vaguely aware of voices outside the chamber and herd Katie’s loud yell as it rang around the air.
“Shut it down.”
Erskine’s voice hit his ears as the doctor banged on the chamber he was in “Steven!”
“You heard her, shut it down!” Agent Carter’s voice was clear and then he heard Erskine once more as the Doctor frantically shouted. 
“Kill the reactor, Mr. Stark! Turn it off! Kill it! Kill the reactor!”
“No, don’t!” Steve yelled back, finally finding his voice. There was no way he was quitting, not after he’d come this far. He could take this. Pain was nothing, he felt it every day of his damned life. “I can do this!”
Famous last words. The heat increased, the pain increased, it was too much. Every muscle in his body was searing in agony and it felt like someone was lancing him with red hot needles over and over again…
But then suddenly it went dark. The pain was gone, the heat was gone and all Steve could feel now was an overwhelming sense of calm and tiredness even, like he’d just been on another one of those damned runs with the unit. His chest was heaving as he gulped in air, his head falling to the side as panted, waiting for his body to recover. After waiting, for what seemed like forever but was in reality mere seconds, he heard Erskine call out to Howard again and then the doors to the pod opened, the cool air hitting Steve’s perspiring skin.
He stumbled out of the pod supported by two people, he had no idea who, as his eyes were screwed shut, his head bowed as he took deep gulps of air. His legs felt heavy and he was a little unbalanced, as if his centre of gravity had changed somewhat, but as he took a shaky step forward he noticed how clear his chest was. His breathing wasn’t wheezy in the slightest and with every breath he took he felt stronger, less lightheaded. All in all, despite feeling completely overwhelmed he felt good.
“I did it.” He panted a little, his eyes still closed as he took a shaky step forward.
“Yeah, yeah. I think we did it.” Erskine’s voice came from his right, followed by Howard’s from his left which was laced with pride.
“We actually did it.”
“How do you feel?” Another familiar voice spoke and with a deep breath he straightened up and looked down at Katie before he glanced around the chamber and realised that for the first time in his life he was looking down at people.
“Taller.” He answered a little facetiously, glancing at Katie as she reached out to touch his chest, swallowing a little as she hastily withdrew her hand.
“You look taller.” She handed him a T-shirt she took off another member of the nursing staff. Steve took it with a thanks and moved to pull it over his head, his breathing finally evening out and he turned to face a doctor who approached him a little nervously.
“Mr. Rogers, we just need to-“
But whatever it was that they needed Steve never found out as at that point there was a loud explosion from the room over the atrium, showering them in glass. Instinctively, Steve pulled Katie towards him, curling his body around hers to shield her from the debris before he stood up tall as he heard Erskine yelling.
“Stop him!”
Then there was a gun shot and, as he wheeled round, he saw Erksine drop to the floor. Katie pushed past Steve whipping a gun from her hip taking aim as the culprit ran up the stairs with the two female agents in persuit.
Steve knelt beside Erskine, his eyes locking onto the doctor's as he struggled for air. Erskine opened his mouth, but shut it again, and Steve realised from the blood that was pooling around the doctors body, there was nothing he could do. Erskine raised his right hand, and simply prodded Steve’s chest gently, right above his heart, similar to the way he’d pointed at him the night before.
“Not a perfect soldier, but a good man…”
The words echoed in Steve’s brain as he watched Erskine’s eyes close as his head rolled to the right, his breathing stopped. Steve took a deep breath of his own and felt another heat radiating through his body, this one out and out anger as he raised his head slowly to look at the stairs the suspect had run up mere moments ago. His jaw clenching he sprang to his feet and ran off, taking the steps two at a time. 
As he sprinted through the facility he could hear gunshots and explosions from the street and as he emerged into the street he saw the woman from earlier led on the floor, not moving, a wound to her chest. Vaulting over her he saw Katie to his left tending to someone who was down on the sidewalk, whilst Agent Carter was stood in the road, un-moving, arm raised as she shot at a Yellow Taxi which was driving straight for them. He threw himself at Peggy, taking her out of the path of danger as the car sped past
“I had him!”  Agent Carter said with an air of annoyance as they both climbed to their feet.
“Sorry!” Steve yelled as he started to run after the car, surprised momentarily at the way his legs just seemed to move with little or no effort, covering far more ground than he was used to. He picked up the pace, tracking the car as he went, taking a short cut down a road to his left. But he was going too fast and, as he rounded a corner, he lost control over his new power and crashed straight through the window of a Bridal Wear store, taking out the display. He jumped back up, straight onto the street, tossing another apology over his shoulder as he cut down a narrow alleyway with a chainmail fence at the bottom.
The fence was ten feet tall, easily, and Steve picked up speed a little more with the aim of jumping as high up it as he could get before scrambling over the top, but as he took off from the floor he realised that he was going to clear it. He was going to clear a ten foot fucking fence.
Tucking his legs up, he landed easily and ran out onto a street full of cars, his hands held up, protests of “woah, whoa, whoa” slipping form his mouth automatically as they all skidded to a stop trying to avoid him. He spun to his left, spotted the cab and continued his chase as it weaved itself in and out of the traffic.
He was gaining on it now and he dug a little deeper, realising he had a lot more energy in his tank, his bare feet slapping the wet concrete of the ground. As he drew closer to the car he knew that the only way to get the vehicle to stop was by getting inside it, and to do that he needed to physically get hold of it first of all. An idea suddenly came to him as he saw a car in front of him and he approached he hopped up onto the trunk then the roof, and then to the car in front before jumping onto the back of a truck. With a final leap he flung himself at the yellow taxi landing flat on the roof, his hands gripping either side of the sills above the doors as it began to sharply weave side to side. It took a sharp turn to the left, then right, then left again, forcing Steve to adjust his hold as it tore down a narrow street before emerging on the road which led to the pier. This gave Steve a little time to steady himself and he rose tentatively onto his hands and knees before there was a loud bang and a bullet shot through the roof of the car. Another few shots came, Steve dodging them all as he slid down the side of the car, wrenching the passenger door open. But before he could climb in, the man shot at him, meaning Steve had to let go with his right arm to avoid taking the bullet straight in the chest, but by shooting at him, his target had taken his eyes off the road, meaning he hadn’t noticed the two trucks emerging in front of him. The taxi crashed straight into them and flipped over sideways, beginning to roll and Steve let go, tumbling forward onto the floor before he came to a stop.
Steve rose to his feet and headed forwards as his target crawled from the car. He watched as the man stood, pointing his gun towards Steve and shot, missing him, the various people screaming as the gun went off. Steve picked up the door of the car which was lying in the road and held it in front of him as the man shot twice, the second bullet coming through the door and grazing the left hand side of Steve’s abdomen. As he peered round the side of the door he noticed that the man had now taken a young boy hostage, his arm pinned around his chest as he dragged him backwards, the boy’s mother screaming and begging for him to stop. Steve tossed the door to the side, following him, his right hand clutching at the wound to his left.
“Get back!” The man warned with the boy dangling in his arms as he backed away. Steve dodged another bullet, flattening himself against the wall. The man ran off towards the dockside and Steve followed using a large iron buoy as shield from another incoming shot. He hastily followed, keeping his back to the damp brick of the shipping company building, and as he peered round the arch he saw the man raise his gun and press the barrel to the boys head.
Steve’s blood ran cold, “wait, don’t! Don’t!” He protested, approaching with his arms up. At that the man pointed the gun at Steve and pulled the trigger, Steve automatically flinching as he awaited the shot that never came because the gun was empty. As he had nothing else to do, the hostile dragged the boy towards the side of the docks and Steve realised what he was intending to do.
“No! Don’t!”, but it was too late. With a shove the kid went flying into the water and the man turned, sprinting away. Steve ran to the edge to see the kid treading water, looking up at him.
“Go get him! I can swim!”
Decision made, Steve sprinted after his target who had disappeared, but as he ran he noticed to the right in the water some kind of sleek, black submarine pulling away. With a spring off the edge Steve dove into the icy, cold water, swimming in the vessel's slipstream. Whether the sub wasn’t going that fast, or if it was his ability to simply swim faster, Steve had no idea, but he caught it easily, punching straight through into the cockpit, flooding it with water. He then wrenched the canopy open and pulled the man sharply upwards sending him flying straight out of the surface and onto the cold stone of the dockside where he landed with a thud.
Steve followed quickly, climbing a set of steps out of the water and as the man got up, Steve saw the flash of a blade in his hand. With a reflex that was purely automatic, he dodged out of the way aiming a kick to the man’s chin which sent him sprawling backwards. The knife flew from his hand, but so did a familiar vial which Steve suddenly realised was full of Erskine’s serum. It shattered on the floor, the blue liquid pooling on the damp cobbles as Steve gripped the lapels of the man’s jacket, pulling him harshly forwards.
“Who the hell are you?” He demanded.
 “The first of many," the man spoke in a thick accent. “Cut off one head-” at that he popped a tooth loose and swallowed it, looking at Steve, his jaw set, “-two more shall take its place.”
 Steve frowned, perplexed as none of that made any sense, until he spoke again, through the foam that had now started to bubble from his mouth.
“Hail HYDRA!”
With that the man gave a little grunt, his pupils completely dilated as he grew heavy and limp in Steve’s grip. Steve let go, the body falling to the ground as he straightened up, his chest heaving as he stared at the dead man on the floor.
Steve couldn’t help the disappointment flooding his system at the fact he hadn’t managed to capture him alive. But that said, whilst he hadn’t managed to find out who he was exactly,  he now knew who he was working for and at least they’d managed to stop the serum from falling into the wrong hands.
The serum.
At that Steve glanced down at his hands, which were both significantly larger, then to his forearms where the muscles flexed as he opened and closed his fists. With everything that had happened he hadn’t had chance to appreciate the extent to which the procedure had actually enhanced him. He’d run with a speed he had never thought possible, his lungs had stretched to a capacity that now, he thought about it, stunned him, his ability to swim the way he had, leap, the pure athleticism he had displayed in that short ten minute chase was astonishing.
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His hands flew to his stomach to find a hard set of abs, his fingers tracing the definition of the planes of muscle under the wet t-shirt which clung to his body. His hands moved upwards almost tentatively, reaching the hard curve of his pecs and it was at that point a voiced broke through his stunned thoughts.
“Steve!”
He looked up to see Agent Stark running towards him. Behind her, Agent Carter and a few other soldiers and police officers were working to keep the now assembled crowd on the pier back. “Are you okay?  You’re bleeding.”
Steve glanced down at his shirt and noticed for the first time the blood on the white material. He shook his head.
“He shot me but it's just a graze, I’m fine.” He jerked his head towards the guy on the ground by his feet. “More than can be said for him…”
She glanced down at the body on the floor, blinking as if she was seeing the dead man for the first time before she dropped to her knees, her fingers pressing into his neck checking for a pulse.
“Did he drown?”
“No.” Steve said, and he quickly explained about the submarine and pulling the man from the water. As he explained about the vial of serum, he saw Katie’s eyes flick to the broken glass on the floor before her face darted back to Steve as he told her about the man having loosened his tooth and bit something. “I’m not sure what it was but…”
“He bit something?” Katie’s entire face changed into a look of shock, her eyes darting side to side as she wrenched the guys mouth open, her fingers jamming straight inside.
 Steve grimaced. “What…”
“Son of a bitch.” she pulled her hand back and knelt back on her heels, wiping her hands very ungracefully on the side of her skirt.
“I’m not…”
“Cyanide capsule.” She sighed, “a lot of the intelligence organisations provide them to their undercover agents and they keep them hidden in a false tooth. If you’re caught, you can effectively kill yourself before you’re taken and, well…”
“Tortured?” Steve finished for her. Katie took a deep breath and shrugged.
“Questioned was the word I was going to use but…” she shrugged, looking around. “He was clearly a Nazi Spy.”
Steve looked at her, nodding. “He was HYDRA.”
“HYDRA?”
“Heil HYDRA.” Steve looked down at the dead man, “last thing he said before he died.”
 Katie bit her lip, “fuck,” she mumbled, before she looked up at Steve. “Sorry, just, well Erskine warned Phillips not to be complacent about Schmidt but Phillips was adamant that Hitler was the big threat.” She bowed her head a little, her shoulders slumping and Steve took a deep breath as he realised that the Doctor was no longer with them having died in his arms little over ten minutes ago. It left him feeling hollow, sick even and from the looks of it Katie was feeling just as bad.
But now wasn’t the time.
“I err…” Steve cleared his throat a little, composing himself. “I’m not following? Why did Erskine differentiate? I mean, I thought HYDRA were Hitler’s deep science organisation?”
Katie glanced down once more before she turned her pretty face back to Steve, “Yes, they are. But Erskine always said Schmidt had ambitions beyond Hitler’s. Something Peggy backed up from her time undercover.”
 At that point she made to stand and automatically Steve offered her his hand. She took it and he made to pull her up, but with his new strength he was far more forceful than he had meant to be and she gave a little yelp of surprise as she was jerked straight into his chest.
“Easy Soldier.” She gasped, her hands falling to his biceps as she steadied herself.
“Sorry," he hastily apologised, his own hands settling gently on either side of her ribcage, the rough tweed of her uniform jacket prickly under the pads of his fingers. “I’m not used to…” He trailed off as he realised that not only was he looking down at her now, but his new large frame completely dwarfed hers.
“Don’t worry about it.” Her voice was equally breathy as his, her eyes still on his face and she gave him a little smile before she moved one hand upwards, gently cupping his cheek, almost as if she was checking something, which to be fair, she might have been. Steve had no idea what he looked like, he hadn’t seen a mirror yet. The only parts of him he’d managed to get a glimpse at so far were his arms and legs.
What he did know was that her touch was blazing on his skin, more than it had been the night before. He could hear her breathing too, and he could see every single detail on her face and her eyes. Not only were they green, but they were the most gorgeous shade of green he had ever seen in his life. He could see the dots of brown speckled throughout and the slight ring of amber surrounding her irises, reminding him of the sun. Full of warmth and power….
“Hey, you okay?” Katie frowned. 
“Yeah, erm, I just, I can see better.” Steve replied simply, as her hand gently curled in on itself as she dropped it to her side. “Has it…” he began to ask and Katie smiled, shaking her head.
“Still handsome.” She smiled, and Steve felt his neck flush with heat again before a voice cut through their moment.
“Did you get it?” Colonel Phillips was striding towards them. Katie moved back from Steve, turning towards her Superior, steeling her composure. 
“No,” she shook her head, before gesturing to the shattered vial on the floor. 
“Shit.” Phillips exclaimed with a groan.
“But neither did they.” Katie looked at him, before she turned to look at Steve once more, “And there is one upside to all this…”
“Don’t you dare tell me to look on the Brightside, Stark.” Phillips glared at her as she took a deep breath, realising her head, chin jutting defiantly towards him.
 “At least we know it works," she said simply.
 Phillips looked at her, then to Steve, before he gave a snort. “One isn’t enough.”
 Steve inhaled deeply, his frustration mounting but it was Agent Stark that spoke next.
 “Well, one is all you’ve got. I suggest you start treating him with a little more respect seeing as he just chased down a damned HYDRA operative through twelve blocks of Brooklyn, pulled him out of some underwater craft and took a bullet for his troubles.”
 Phillips’ jaw twitched at the way he was being spoken to and Steve grimaced slightly in anticipation of the incoming dressing down Katie was going to get, but it never arrived.
 “HYDRA?” Phillips blinked and Kate nodded.
“Yes, Sir.”
 The man took a deep breath and then turned to Steve, his eyes travelling up and down his body “Rogers, you hurt?”
“No, Sir.”
Philips inhaled again and then turned to Peggy “Agent Carter, I want a recovery unit down here for this so called underwater craft. You two…” he spun back to face Steve and Katie, “back to the lab so the Medical Team can assess you. If you are truly the only super soldier I’m getting, then the last thing I want is you to drop dead of complications.”
 “That means he cares," Katie looked up at Steve who glanced at her as he saw a smile tug at her lips.
 “You’re gettin’ on my nerves,” Phillips pointed at her, before he gave her a filthy look and turned to leave.
 “Is it authority in general you got a problem with or just him?” Steve asked after a moment or two and Katie let out a little chuckle.
 “Believe it or not I actually like Chester.” She smiled, “I just enjoy irritating him more. Come on, we’re attracting a bit of a crowd so…” She gently squeezed his hand before she began walking the same way Colonel Philips had done a few moments before, Steve following, pausing slightly as he felt a tug on the side of his T-shirt. He stopped and turned to find the kid who he’d last seen bobbing up and down in the muggy water of the docks grinning up at him.
 “That was swell!” The kid laughed and Steve raised his eyebrows.
 “That’s not exactly the word I would use…”
 “No, but the way you ran and jumped in and then threw him outta the water like BAM!” The kid smirked and Steve felt his neck growing warm at the praise, raising a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “What’s your name, Mister?”
 “Err Steve.”
“Marty!” A voiced called and the boy turned, Steve following his gaze to see a woman who had been stood talking to a police officer, hastily making her way over. “Come on.”
 “Ma’am.” Steve greeted her as she stopped in front of him, taking a breath.
 “You saved him.” She said, her voice cracking.
“Oh, no, I…”
“Thank you,” she stood on her toes and kissed Steve���s cheek before she dropped an arm round her son’s shoulders and turned him away, gently talking to him.
 Steve stood stock still for a moment, swallowing, before he turned to see Katie watching him, her eyebrow arched a little, smile spread across her pretty face.
 “A regular superhero,” she teased and Steve rolled his eyes at her as he fell into step besides her.
 “Hardly.” He scoffed, “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn.”
Katie stopped and turned to face him, shaking her head, “you still don’t get it do you?”
“Get what?” He frowned as she began to walk again.
 “How many other kids from Brooklyn do you know that would have just done what you did?”
“Well its hardly a fair comparison is it?” Steve pointed out as they walked down the side of the building, Katie nodding to Agent Carter as they passed “How many others do you know that just got converted into…well, a Super Soldier or whatever the hell they’re calling me?”
“You had no idea what that serum had done, other than make you taller,” Katie shot back as they moved back towards the entrance of the pier. “But you took off after that guy, without so much as a second thought for your safety.”
 “I just did what anyone would have done.” He sighed, a little uncomfortable at her praise.
 She stopped at the side of a black car and turned to face him, her face soft, “no, you did what that kid from Brooklyn would have done.” Her eyes remained locked onto his before they were interrupted by an Army official who handed Steve a blanket. He took it with a thanks, wrapping it around his shoulders, despite the fact that he didn’t feel cold in the slightest, in fact he felt a pretty strong sense of warmth.
 And as he watched Katie climb into the car he was pretty sure that wasn’t solely attributable to Erskine’s serum which was now coursing through his veins. 
**** Chapter 4
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inctlife · 4 years
Note
Ur most NCT dream post was so cute 🥺 would you consider doing one for 127?
ahh yes!!!! i loved doing that🥺🥺
taeyong
so you and taeyong were dating for a WHILE and you’d been with him all through his training period and all through nct 127 so you’d been by his side for a while
and then !!! taeyong went on tour as he normally did and some crazed fan managed to grab his face at the airport and kiss him,, however,, while trying to get her off, he grabbed her face and angles made it look as though he was secretly kissing this girl and the rest of nct 127 were trying to cover it up
so taeyong spent the whole of the flight home crying bc he gets really insecure and he’s sure that you’ll leave him at any opportunity and then when the flight lands he goes to get off and is all miserable and pouty and you just run up to him and jump on him and kiss him so much and he’s like
“i’m sorry, y/n, there was nothing, i’m sorry”
and your like “stfu ik bitch did you see that kiss?? dry as shit, this is a kiss”
then the next day the headlines were all about you two and not the other girl and taeyong just felt so much love because he slowly began to realise you did that to distract from the kiss before the flight ㅠㅠ he loves you sm
taeil
so taeil had a hard day of vocal exercises bc he’s been instructed to do this part for the upcoming song but it’s higher than he’s ever sung before so it’s very strenuous on his voice :(
and at sm they made him do vocal warm ups while doing stomach cruches so he’s in dOUBLE PAIN and he kinda believes that he’s getting a cold so overall, just not a nice day
and then he returns home and you’re just singing in the living room, jumping around, you guys’ dog on the sofa, watching you with his wagging tail and taeil nearly bursts into tears bc he’s just so relieved at the happiness and homeliness pouring out from you and he just wants to come home to this every single day of his life :,)
johnny
so johnny was chilling with his morning coffee, sat in the garden looking at the sky and the birds and it was just chill and then he heard a slight singing voice and he was like ‘hello??? wtf was that??’ and upon creeping upstairs he realised it was you singing an early morning song to your twins🥺
and johnny honestly felt tears leave his eyes, he just felt so blessed in that moment to be able to have a family like this and he just knew he wanted to give you his last name because ohmygod he’s never been this in love before !!
yuta
okay so yuta was obviously sososososO happy with everything going on in korea,, but he couldn’t help but feel homesick because he hadn’t been to japan in so long,, but he didn’t want to let anyone know that so he just kept pushing on :(and you watched him get more and more unlike yuta until one day he came home and looked himself in you guys’ room and you could just hear him sobbing down the phone to either his friends or his family back in japan and it broke your heart :(
so!! you contacted him mum that night and asked her to send over a few recipes that she used to cook for yuta and you went off the the j-mart to get everything you needed before coming back home and cooking!!!! for like literally a whole day,, it was very tiresome
but then!! yuta came home from practise and you were like ‘wait!! go and get in your pyjamas!! i’ve got a surprise’ and yuta was like ‘?? but it’s not my birthday??’ but he went anyway cause like,, you were asking him to get into pyjamas? why wouldnt he?
and so he comes back down and comes into the living room where all the dishes are on the coffee table and just starts crying because that’s all the food that remind him from home and his mum and there’s his favourite anime on the tv and he just looked at you and realises what you did and just feels so much love coming from you but the only word he can say is ‘why?’
and ur just like ‘cause you deserve it’ and yuta almost combusts i stg
doyoung
after doyoung saw gongmyung and his fake wife (idk her name,, sorry!!!! lol) on wgm he couldn’t help but lowkey want something like that..but in real life obv lol
but after he met you he didn’t even think about his wishes and the kind of relationship he wanted because he was just so in love with you that everyday was like a whirlwind !!
and then one day he was speaking to gongmyung and his brother was just smiling knowingly and was just like ‘you really like y/n huh’ and doyoung was like ‘i’m talking about food?? wtf does that have to do with anything’ but it’s because you can see it!!!! doyoung’s so fucking in love with you his entire face lights up!!! and gongmyung’s like ‘tell me about her, consciously, think about her and then tell me’
and doyoung’s like ‘??’ but does it anyway bc it’s an opportunity to think about you lol but as soon as he starts he’s just lost for words and he’s just like ‘she’s the love of my life???’ and gongmyung’s like ‘omg doyoung just marry this woman already’ and doyoung’s like ‘that aint a bad idea though’
they go ring shopping the next week
jungwoo
so with jungwoo it was all kinda rushed,, like you’d only be dating for about 10 months-year?? but due to circumstances you’d been living together since before you were a couple,, so you were already very close basically best friends to lovers tbh
and one day he can hear you on the phone to your friend it’s on speaker and your friend is gushing about her new baby and you’re just being like ‘oh congratulations!!’ but jungwoo swears he hears a slight sadness in your voice :(
so when you get off this phonecall you immediately call someone else it’s your bestfriend,, the one of the same gender and you just say ���is it weird to want a baby’ and your friend kinda laughs and is like ‘who gave you baby fever’ and you just sigh and are like ‘i can’t help but want so much more with jungwoo but i feel awkward talking about it’ and your friend’s like ‘stfu why’ but it’s because it’s all going so fast!!! just over a year ago you didn’t even think of him romantically and now you wanted to marry him and have his babies??!!??
but jungwoo was crying outside your door bc,, he wanted all that as well :,) so as soon as you hung up he walked in your room and cuddled you close and was like ‘i promise we’ll get married and have babies,, that’s what i want too!!’ and you just started crying bc oml your boyfriend is so precious
jaehyun
so you went to the wedding dress shop w/ taeyong’s fiancé so you could watch her try on dresses and also try on bridesmaids dresses🥺🥺 so pwetty
and basically her vision was all of her bridesmaids having also white dresses but with a different colour sash round the middle so you got to try on a load of dresses that were actually wedding dresses but they were more lowkey and after signing this thing you were allowed to take photos so she could look at them afterwards and decide which one was best
so you came home and jaehyun was there and you were like ‘oh jae !! look at me in these dresses’ and jaehyun was like ‘kk’ and came over and looked over at your phone and it just took him a moment bc omg,, you look so beautiful in a wedding dress
and ur like ‘what?? that’s good right???’ and jaehyun’s like ‘yeah.. yes,, that’s......... that’s fucking amazing omg’ and he cant stop smiling and there right then is when he decides that he has to marry you!!
mark
so mark took you to canada to stay with his family over christmas and you’d met his family like a handful of times before?? but you’d never stayed with them for this long but as soon as mark asked you were 100% up for it
and so at this point you’d been there for a couple of days and mark’s brother is talking to him about you as mark dried his hair and literally all he’s saying is how amazing you are and mark’s kinda blushing, kinda smiling,, he’s just so happy!!! and then, when thinking over his brother’s words, he went downstairs and found you in the kitchen with his mum, dancing around as you cooked dinner for everyone and mark could’ve cried tbh
he saw his dad walk over to his mum and pull her into a kiss and mark tried to move but like, literally could not,, but luckily !! you saw him lol and was like ‘come here’ and mark was laughing and walked over, kissing you as he mumbled a quick ‘i love you’ and jesus christ he really did
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UPDATE 7
wow oh WOW!
Oooooops
So it’s been a HOT minute since I last updated (which was August so really the hottest of minutes lol)
Things have been weird but good?!
I have lost ANOTHER 10lbs (TEN!!!!!) SINCE I LAST POSTED WHAT THE WHAT! I am officially in the 160s and lovinnnnngggg iiiittttt! It feels surreal and its probably taken a lot more time than it should have since I started in June but tbh 23lbs in 6 months?!?! Im not mad about it!
The holidaze (including Halloween and Thanksgiving) have made it a bit harder to lose/keep it off (deff some fluctuation the last few months and (weeks honestly)) but tbh 1) thats normal and 2) im not gonna deprive myself when I’ve already exceeded a lot of my own expectations and perceived abilities.
Goals for the new year include: - getting into the 130s (minimum) - saving more $$$ and revamping my wardrobe - becoming stronger and more confident - being more appreciative of the every day little things/blessings i’ve been given - loving my family and Him more - getting vaccinated yalllllllll <33333 ****SHOUT OUT TO THE SCIENTISTS RESEARCHERS DOCTORS TRIAL PARTICIPANTS AKA MFING HEROES OF OUR SOCIETY LEGIT DOING GODS WORK OUT HERE!****
The start of December was some of the lowest Ive probably ever felt for personal reasons and uncontrollable things in life but it taught me 1) to not take anything/anyone for granted bc life aint that long and its taken me 24yrs to realize that and 2) that the MOST important thing is how we treat those around us, especially those we care most about and to appreciate the time we have with them to the best of our abilities <33
Sorry for the crazy tirade, ramble, rant. I JUST FEEL LIKE I JUST OPENED MY EYES FOR THE FIRST TIME AND IM READY FOR 2021!!!!!
Were all in this together yall! I know Im a small blog and tbh an insignificant person but if I can be someone for any of yall to lean on or be supported by, IM HERE
P.S. my family and I watched this show on Disney+ called Disney Insider and on s1e5 there was a feature about runDisney and NOW im planning to train to do the wdw half marathon next january (2022) with my best friend and the star wars 5k next april with my family. Idk why I’ve suddenly been possessed by the running bug but i’ve now watched so many videos on runDisney and i cannot wait to train (what is wrong with me?!)
P.P.S God is good all the time!!!!!!
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kny111 · 4 years
Text
I’m Living Under Government Watchlist for doing ProBlack + BLM work
I’m not sure many of you know this and with what I’ve seen I doubt this will get attention considering how deeply sabotaged tumblr has become. But I’ve been doing activism for about as long as we’ve been yelling things like “HandsOffAssattaShakur“ to protesting what I thought was religious corruption when we did so against scientology to #OccupyWallstreet. I’ve been protesting and doing activism online and offline depending on my mental and physical health which has limited me as time goes by. It’s finally got me burnt out, not from the protesting and activism, but from those whose job in the past and present been to sabotage and destabilize Black lead/ Poc led movements. I’m in a continuation of this. Don’t let my lack of energy in speaking out fool you into thinking I gave up. I have just gotten worn out by them.
The things they’ve done to my mind and body while in this area since moving. They’ve been surveilling me since before I could even remember. Every single day that goes by they’ll have some way of making their presence on my health in a debilitating way. They’ll mess with the internet, phone, my contacts, infiltrate them, infiltrate my family, they’ve messed with the job search process and made difficult for me to enter any job without said job making some offhanded comments showing their solidarity to the corrupted country I protest. They’ve had people I trusted right here on tumblr infiltrated my circles of friends and myself and make it very well known that they feel beyond reproach.
This has all been in coordination with the NYPD and other government agents of defense. They’ll make themselves present in just about any space I try to go. From the forest, parks, to just a simple walks outside. I basically was lead into an area of Manhattan that is mad pro-cop, pro-surveillence capitalism, pro-militarized. Any time I make blog posts or whatever that don’t put em in a good light I get some kind of mental or physical health debilitating action against me like they’ll have mad loud noises at timed intervals like what the agent upstairs does all the time which messes with my breathing due to social anxiety and depression. They’ve had cars roll dangerously close to me, whether im biking or not. They’ll have people walk mad close to me during social distancing measures. I know it be them because they tend to use sensitive information they got through surveillancing me all day and night. Like fam I could be trying to take a piss in peace at like 3am and they’ll still be bumping away and making all types of sound to give the impression that they’re always watching. And they are. And I think the fact that those UFO/UAP objects appeared on my 17th  (11/10/2004) birthday added to their obsession with me. The other fact that I ended painting a similar craft under the context of destroying colonialism I believe gave the government more understanding on what they’re really here about. I think that being the end of these oppressive regimes that have made so much out of us. I don’t want to sound superstitious but since then I’ve felt a connection with those UAPs that I only learned to name recently. I no longer think it’s coincidental that about a month or so AFTER I painted those native, queer sisters dancing to bring forth help from their future descendants, the navy posts those videos of the UAP that become well known. They’ve never done that, and yet just a few weeks after I painted this, not only does the gallery I exhibited this in Harlem catches fire unexpectedly, but these things become a topic of discussion in ways we’ve never seen before. I think them UAPs are here for our freedom. But that’s for another post. Too much to unpack into this. I’m just letting yall know what they know of me. So now imagine. This nigga aka me, tied to UFO, fortelling the future (I know what I sound like, but believe me, I can definitely tell the future) AAAND fighting for black lives? Of course they gone be on my ass like a probe. In fact, I think one night they even broke into our apartment (not the first time they do so) and did things against my will as I slept since I woke up feeling violated. Waking up with strange markings and having objects in the crib go missing. But I’ll leave that there. There’s so little ya’ll know about what they’re doing to BLM activists. So much I’ve omitted from here for my own sanity and to process things. This has caused my body a lot of debilitating stress down to my breathing having been shortened. I’m lucky if I have the will power to eat more than 2 meals. I don’t even bike anymore. I can barely run anymore. I can barely speak like I used to anymore. They stole so much more from me than they’ll ever imagine. Even saying all this to yall, whomever listening, feels pointless. Why? because they’re very good at making it seem, even if and when it aint true, that your people don’t fuck with you no more except for those they deem acceptable. As you figured, this would have anyone under 24/7 watch. The government be lookin at me and them UAP and the lands and non government natives as a force they don’t wanna reckon with, so they’ve put a lot out to shrink me as they do to so many of us who choose to fight for the rest who can’t. And this has all been while trying to raises my baby Quinn with my partner. So we’re all dealing with the state and federal terrorists in one way or another. If they not trying physically fuck with me, they’ll be running psych warfare on me, shit thatll have me doubting myself despite the facts. Luckily a nigga still bout that scientific literacy so it’s helped me a lot in spotting them and trying to keep some semblance of a distance. But again because of what I’m tied to: bday 111, UAP/UFO, native resistance and the spirits of the land and those this country murdered for white supremacist ventures, predicting/ESP type of abilities on the daily while telling them how useless their surveillence capitalist tools are knowing we can do this has likely mad them other me, dehumanize me and made me feel less human. Since then I’ve noticed they’ve been limiting my posts and activities on just about any site that has favored white supremacy, neocolonialism and capitalism in some way or another. They’ll mess with my facebook feed, who my posts get seen by, they’ll mess with my IG, they’ll mess with my tumblr especially. Basically any way they can limit who I may say this to and wear me out from even speaking about this and bringing yall hope like that. And remember, the information that they share amongst themselves as surveillance capitalist is the same information hub/database that infiltrated white supremacists and antiblack/antibrown folks in governments tend to us and share with their own hateful ass people. With this in mind, I really think they look at me as some would be leader to those movements since I’m queer and nonbinary so not as easy to trick into the outdated oppresive politics they try to have me on. Since I haven’t shown interest in being with them in any real way and have stuck to my activism and abolishing these systems they’ve continue to in a way torture me. Through sounds, denial of physical services, or when I go out to eat in places that have ties to law enforcement or government agencies, they’ll mess with my food, just about anything you need they’ll fuck with. What would that do to you if you experienced that? Hence why my bloggin changed a bit, not as attached due to energy fatigue and their constant harrassment and obsession with me. Many times, even with the fact that I may be linked to those UAP in some special way I still be feelin like dyin to not be around em anymore.
To add to what I said on how corporate own websites like tumblr have joined them; After having spent a good amount of time blocking my posts and blaming their algorithm. From blocking drawings of normalizing fatness to pro LGBTQ and Black Lives Matter posts like the Eric Garner videos I uploaded. For a few months now I’ve noticed my scinerds blog has been inaccessible, in a way sabotaging my communication with yall. And they would fix my blog posts by limiting who sees my posts, so now most if not all of my posts on this website and few others have been. When I try to use it I’m not allowed, but I’m still able to reblog, so I’ve been reblogging there less science and more activism as a way to protest the racist, white supremacist of tumblr. Be they black or not, they still acting the same. I’m mostly posting this for a future people who understand me and believe me. I get the sense that this post will also be sabotaged or muted in some way. Thanks for reading, in case we don’t link.
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sapphirestarxx · 4 years
Text
Through the Night
Chapter 3
Also posted on my AO3
Tag wall. Let me know if you want to be added to the tag wall!
@lavendertwilight89 @hnnwnchstr @cstormsinukagblog @ravisk @superpixie42 @fawn-eyed-girl
It had been decided to meet at Sango’s apartment and from there they all would search out the location of the rune with Kagome guiding them. Kagome had said that there was an overwhelming feeling of malice coming from the point of origin...more than had been present at the abandoned ruin they had encountered a week before. While there could be no way of knowing exactly what had occurred at the previous attacks, this was undeniably worse than what they had already come across. Whatever this was it was big.
Miroku had been the first to arrive, armed with his holy staff and sutras, and waited while Sango got dressed in her demon slayer gear. Between the staggering evil Kagome was sensing and what was known about the runes, they all wanted to be prepared for the impending altercation that was sure to take place. 
He hadn’t had too many dealings with the slayers before, seeing as his line of work dealt almost entirely with the spiritual side of supernatural problems. Despite this he knew the outfit was a complicated mix of leather, armor plates at the vitals and joints, with various vials and compacts of poisons and powders tucked away into hidden spaces. While he knew in theory what the outfit consisted of he had never had the pleasure of seeing it worn in person, especially not by someone with Sango’s stunning physique.
When Sango exited her bedroom Miroku sucked in a breath at the sight. That skintight black leather that clung to her every curve...it was beyond enticing. There was something so incredibly sexy about it he couldn’t help but take in every inch of her lush form with his gaze. In that moment he knew he would let her do anything to him she wanted and he would enjoy every second of it. Even if it was just her kicking his ass.
He forced himself to drag his eyes away from her body to her face and saw she was looking at him. Something shifted in her eyes and he could tell she knew exactly where his thoughts had gone. He hadn’t exactly been subtle about checking her out but he was a man with eyes and she was exquisite. 
“I like the pink.” He told her, opting for something safer than what he was really thinking. ‘You’re fucking hot and that leather makes me want to do bad things to you.’ would probably not have gone over well. The plates of her armor were a pretty shade of rose and he wondered if it was a concession to her femininity or if it was just her favorite color.
“It’s my favorite color.” Sango admitted after a slight pause confirming his suspicions, and Miroku knew she had probably expected another one-liner out of him. “I know it sounds kind of frivolous but it makes me feel more confident on the job.”
Before he could respond there was a knock and they could both hear Inuyasha through the closed door.
“Hey! Hurry the fuck up, will ya? Let’s get going!”
“Inuyasha! Would it kill you to be a little patient?!” came Kagome’s admonishment.
Sango and Miroku shared a look at their antics, a small secret smile between the two of them before she went to the door, opening it.
“There ya are. What’s the hold up?” Inuyasha said without preamble. The beads for his human glamour were back around his neck but because they all had seen his true form it had no effect on any of them. The glamour only worked so long as a person was unaware of the reality. Once that illusion was dispelled it no longer had any effect.
Kagome was standing beside him in clothes more practical for fighting than her usual attire - jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. A bow and quiver full of arrows was slung over her right shoulder and a look of determination was on her face. Around her wrist was a bracelet that no doubt was disguising her weapons from view of the average passerby.
“We’re ready.” Sango reappeared by his side, her hair tied back in a high ponytail and he noticed the large weapon hoisted across her back, almost as tall as she was. It was in the shape of a boomerang and if he had to guess he would say it was made of demon bone, with brown leather straps at both ends to grip it. Such a weapon had to be heavy but she carried it with ease. He became impressed with her all over again.
Setting out, they followed Kagome, letting her take the lead as she focused on the location of the rune. She had explained that it gave off a feeling, almost like an aura that allowed her to trace it across the city. Finally, she stopped outside of what looked to be a condemned warehouse in the more run down part of the city just as the sun was setting.
“It’s here. I feel it.” Kagome’s voice was full of trepidation. 
Even without her words it would have been obvious. The sheer evil emanating from the place was palpable. As a whole they all readied their weapons and approached the structure, Inuyasha taking the lead. Considering he was the most resilient of the four of them no one fought him on it. The heavy metal door, rusted with disuse, swung open with a creak. 
“Inuyasha, we should be careful. We don’t know what’s waiting for us.” Miroku warned.
“You think I don’t fucking know that?” The half demon scoffed. “Besides this aint nothing I can’t handle.”
‘I wish I had that kind of confidence.’ Miroku thought, sighing.
Cautiously, they entered. Immediately upon crossing the threshold the scent of blood was unmistakable, even to Miroku’s human nose. Shafts of the remaining light of day crept forward from the busted out windows along the walls, helping to illuminate the emptiness inside. It stretched wide, the remnants of what was probably once a bustling business years ago. But the years hadn’t been kind to the place, cracked concrete and chipped paint accentuated by spots of mold and mildew. And worst of all, the decaying bodies towards the back wall, cast halfway into shadow. Underneath the stench of blood was the fetid smell of rot.
“There’s so much blood. Those bodies...” Kagome said in a slightly horrified voice.
“Yes. Likely killed by whatever demon is currently inhabiting this place.” Sango said, her expression grim.
“Where the fuck is it though?” Inuyasha growled.
As they warily made their way deeper inside Miroku’s eyes adjusted to the darkness and he suddenly noticed the thick cobwebs all around. At first he had discounted them as merely vestiges from the deterioration of the place but there were so many, the strands thicker than anything a normal spider could produce. Now that they were closer he could see the dead bodies were pale and bloated, and almost as white as the filaments of web they were cocooned tightly within. Red stained the floor around them where no doubt the victims had struggled before being overtaken by the spider demon. 
Next to the carcasses were white sacs with bulges that shifted every few seconds, ensconced in more web. There had to be at least twenty of them that Miroku could see and it made his skin crawl. They could only be one thing. Spider egg sacs. This was going to get messy.
“Spider demons. Such nasty things.” Sango commented beside him.
“Ew! Are those…?” Kagome didn’t finish the question but they could all see where her line of sight was. She had also noticed the eggs sacs and was staring at them with revulsion. 
“It’s just some fucking spiders. Big deal. I’ll squash them then hunt down the bastard that’s behind all this.” Inuyasha said with his usual bravado.
About midway into the building they still hadn’t seen any sign of the rune but it was a big place. Wherever it was, no doubt it was feeding all the negative energies straight to the person responsible for orchestrating this carnage. Blood sacrifice was the strongest source of power for black magic so Miroku was hardly surprised but it made the scene no less disturbing.
He felt something wet drip onto his shoulder and, with a bad feeling, turned his head to look. He reached up with his free hand to dip his fingers into the fluid and inspect it although he already knew. Blood mixed with some kind of clear fluid…
Sango glanced his way and noticed what he was looking at then locked eyes with him. Understanding dawned. As one they turned their eyes upward and the scene that greeted their gaze was an even worse horror.
More corpses hung from the ceiling suspended from strands of spider silk, dripping blood and what was possibly the remnants of the demon’s poison. The ceiling was covered with the largest spider web he had ever seen and right in the middle of the net was the mother spider demon. It was huge, her body glistening and black, legs splayed across her massive web. The humanoid head had a mane of black hair and was wearing an ugly sneer full of teeth, red eyes trained right on them.
“Look up! It’s on the ceiling!” Miroku called out.
Sango slung her weapon from her back, preparing to throw it while Kagome yelped and Inuyasha readied his sword. The spider demon scuttled from its perch towards the wall where the other bodies and eggs lay, moving with surprising quickness. 
Sango threw her weapon with a battle cry of, “Hiraikotsu!” and the spider demon leapt from the ceiling to the ground at the same time, narrowly avoiding it. The demon knocked it with one of its legs throwing her boomerang off course and into the egg sacs. It landed with a thud and there was the sound of the sacs ripping. Black bodies began pouring out of them.
“Shit. I had a feeling this was going to happen.” Miroku said in resignation as they watched the spider demon babies crawl towards them. There were hundreds. 
“Get them, my children!” The demon hissed as she used her legs to rend the remaining egg sacs open, and the whisper of thousands of legs and bodies scurrying around filled the air.
“Fuck, if I could use the Wind Scar this would be so damn easy.” Inuyasha griped as he leapt forward to meet the mother spider in battle. Miroku agreed; with the modernization of everything using an attack that powerful risked leveling the entire building they stood in, and possibly part of the surrounding structures. Not to mention exposing demonkind to humanity, which would have serious repercussions.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome called out, running after him while casting her gaze about, no doubt still searching for the location of the rune in the huge place.
“Miroku, we should let Inuyasha handle the mother spider and take control of the babies!” Sango called as she drew her sword, cutting a path through the demon spawns, trying to make her way to where her main weapon, Hiraikotsu, lay.
“I was about to suggest the same thing.” Miroku agreed, swinging his staff as they began to be overtaken by the massive outpouring of spider babies. Hundreds. Possibly even bordering on a thousand...the sheer number of them was overwhelming. Miroku took a moment to wonder what would have happened if they hadn’t discovered the scene...the city would have been literally overrun.
Numbers were against them, that much was becoming apparent as they fought against the press of bodies. Miroku’s shakujo burned with holy power where it struck the demons, but there were just so many. Next to him Sango was wielding her wakizashi with expert skill, her movements smooth and practiced, but for every two she cut down ten more took their place. It was never ending. He reached into the jacket he was wearing and pulled out a set of holy sutras and flung them at the demons, activating them with his spiritual powers. The move took out a considerable amount but it was like a drop in the bucket for how many they still faced.
“Miroku, cover your mouth and nose!” Sango suddenly called, and he instantly obeyed, trusting her and creating a barrier with his power to shield them. Without him noticing she had equipped her slayer mask, retrieving a vial of some kind of poison from one of her hidden pouches. She threw it down upon the ground and into the swarm before them. It shattered, releasing a blue cloud that began to spread across the demons. Where it touched the demons started to convulse and cease their movements.
Taking advantage of the momentary reprieve they rushed forward. There were still hundreds attempting to crawl and bite their way at them but they continued to move, Miroku throwing out more sutras and slamming his staff down into the fray while Sango hacked away at them. Even though the situation was serious he still wished he could take a moment to simply stop and watch her. Her movements were so fluid, like a dance of death, and it was captivating.
Just as they had almost reached their goal, the webs all around them shifted suddenly. Shooting out from behind them the strands wrapped themselves around Sango’s leg. Miroku saw it coming and attempted to break the hold with his shakujo, and while it severed part of it, the filaments burning from the holy power, they still held firm. More webs shot out and knocked him to the side. Sango attempted to cut away at the web surrounding her with her sword but more just took their place. As she was dragged upwards more encircled her arms, trapping her movements. She struggled against her bonds and they just gripped her tighter. 
“Sango!!” Miroku cried out, his heart missing a beat.
Kagome had run after Inuyasha when he leapt forward to fight the spider demon head on. Spiders sickened her but she forced herself to concentrate. This was no time to be acting scared. She had a job to do. Besides, she had Inuyasha with her. Even though his attention was being taken up by his fight with the mother spider she trusted that he was fully aware of her safety. Or at least she hoped he was. Preparing her bow with an arrow she stood by and attempted to hone her senses. Where was it…?
There.
“Inuyasha! The marking! It’s back there, on the far wall!” Kagome yelled, already on the move. Almost instinctively she knew she had to destroy it. Break the connection that had been formed between the corruption taking place here and where all that negative energy was flowing. Right now it was a conduit, feeding power to the person at the other end of the spell.
“I’m a little busy here!” Inuyasha shouted back, blocking a strike from one of its legs with his sword while flipping to dodge another one coming at him from behind. With a grunt he sliced his sword to the side and severed one of its legs, diving beneath its abdomen to slash at the vulnerable underbelly. Screaming in pain at the dismemberment, it rose up on its two back legs, the thing faster than it had any right to be, and avoided his attack. 
“Dammit!” Inuyasha cursed, rolling to his feet in one smooth move and vaulting to stand atop it just as webs shot out to surround him. They wrapped around his sword arm, cutting off his downward swing.
“Inuyasha!” Kagome stopped, taking aim with the arrow already notched onto her bow. She fired and the arrow flew true. Leaving behind a trail of pink it shot towards its target and struck right at the point where the strands were connected to Inuyasha, freeing him.
“Cutting it a little close there, don’t ya think?! You almost hit me!" He called to her as he avoided more webs.
“Except I didn't! A simple thank you would be nice!” She snapped back.
Inuyasha didn’t bother to reply as his attention was consumed again by his fight with the spider demon; so Kagome continued on her way to the rune. As a priestess she could take care of herself and clearly Inuyasha didn’t need or appreciate her help anyways. 
She was almost at the back wall where the rune was engraved into the concrete when she became aware of the sounds of scuttling behind her. Looking over her shoulder in horror and already knowing what it was, Kagome saw the demon spider babies advancing on her. With a surge of adrenaline she raced the rest of the way and reached it just as the demons reached her. In one smooth motion she grabbed an arrow from her quiver and notched it as she turned around firing, facing the onslaught. It cut a path through the swarm in front of her and she breathed a sigh of momentary relief.
Her sacred arrow didn’t stop them from coming though, and she found herself firing arrow after arrow. No matter how many she killed there were more to take the place of their dead siblings. The rune needed to be destroyed, she knew this as well as she knew her own name. Finally, with a cry of frustration she stopped in her assault and slammed her right hand onto the rune, her left hand still gripping her bow tightly. Her power flared, engulfing the bow in the pink halo of light with her spiritual power and simultaneously channeling power through herself into the rune to purify it. 
Using her bow as a focus Kagome formed a barrier around herself. Where the demons hit it they burned but that didn’t seem to stop them. They kept pressing in on her until they killed themselves, suicide by purification, and more crawled over the ashes to continue the charge.
Gritting her teeth she maintained her barrier while she turned her attention to the mark her right hand was pressed upon. Again she felt that thick oily sensation of evil coating the back of her throat and she fought against it. It almost seemed to reach within her attempting to taint her with its malevolence and Kagome only intensified her power, refusing to be corrupted. She was gaining ground, but with her focus split between the preservation of her barrier and the purification of the rune she couldn’t destroy it. This would require everything of her, and she simply wasn’t able to do that if she wanted to keep her barrier up.
‘Screw that.’ she thought, ‘I’m stronger than this. I can do this.’
“Sango!!”
Sango heard Miroku’s cry as she was lifted up by the webs wrapping more and more tightly around her. With her arms trapped she could no longer swing her wakizashi to free herself, and it hung from her hand, useless. Dammit. She hated spider demons.  
Triggering the hidden blades at her wrists, the curved knives sprung out and sliced through the strands enveloping her arms. In the same breath she pitched her weight forward and used her now-free sword arm to cut through the remaining webs that had captured her leg. No longer restrained she continued the movement into a somersault as she fell, resheathing her blades in the process. It was a long way down and she risked spraining her ankle but it was better than the alternative; become another sacrifice for the spider demon and her children.
She let out a soft oof as she landed, but it wasn’t the landing she was expecting. Instead of the shock of landing on hard concrete vibrating up her legs as her feet struck the ground she felt strong arms wrap around her and a very masculine grunt rumble through the warm chest she was pressed up against. Miroku must have caught me… she barely had time to think. Before she could fully register the position she found herself in, the spider babies began to encroach upon them.
“Sango! Are you ok?” Miroku’s voice came right by her ear, his breath hot. With one arm still braced around her he used the other one to swing at the demons while setting her down onto her feet. One of the demons managed to avoid his staff and jumped at him, landing on the side Sango was not being held against. Miroku let out a pained sound and Sango quickly slashed down at it with one of her wrist blades but not fast enough. It fell away, the damage done and Sango could see the blood beginning to spread from where its tiny fangs had pierced him. 
“Miroku!!” 
“I’m fine.” He told her as he held out his shakujo and focused his spiritual power on the formation of a barrier. A thin blue shield encircled them, but despite his words Sango could see the beads of sweat forming on his temple and the strain on his face. The spider babies continued to attempt to get at them but with Miroku’s power protecting them they were untouchable.
“I’m sorry but to keep you inside my barrier I have to keep you near.” Miroku told her, still holding onto her and beginning to move them forward. “Inuyasha should defeat the mother spider soon and once we retrieve your weapon you can impress me some more with your slayer prowess.” He joked weakly.
“Miroku…”
The spider bite had to have had some venom to be affecting him this much, and she felt guilty. If he hadn’t taken his attention away from the fight to catch her he wouldn’t have gotten injured. As they made their way to where her weapon lay she could feel him begin to lean more heavily on her. It was concerning. Finally they were at the wall where her Hiraikotsu lay amongst the corpses and empty egg sacs. She lifted her weapon up and turned to Miroku. His entire side was stained red where he bled and his face was pale.
“Keep your barrier up, I’m going to fight them.”
Before he could respond she left him propped against the wall and slipped from his arms to face the demons. In one smooth motion she threw her weapon and cut a swath through the hordes facing them.
‘Stupid fucking modernization of the world and stupid fucking demons.’ Inuyasha thought in irritation as he fought the mother spider. He hated not being able to use his sword’s full power; what use was the thing if he couldn’t even use it like it was meant to be used? Yet again, he would have to rely on himself but that was nothing new.
The damn thing kept chittering at him maniacally every time he missed and it was pissing him off. He was over it. It and all its damn babies needed to die and they needed to die now. Finally gaining the upper hand he leapt upwards, dodging more strikes from its remaining five legs and the gnashing of its fangs. A wave of web shot out at him and caught his left arm in its grip but wasn’t enough to stop the killing stroke of his sword. With one final slash Inuyasha beheaded the mother spider, putting an end to the fight.
“...Ba….kiiii…..” The demon croaked before the life faded from its eyes.
The webs around his arm loosened at the death of their mistress and Inuyasha pulled them off of him in disgust. Mission accomplished, he turned his attention to his companions.
Sango was throwing that giant boomerang weapon around killing spider babies left and right and Miroku had a barrier surrounding him, looking the worse for wear. Inuyasha could smell his blood and the demon poison but his friend was still alive so he figured any worrying could wait until the danger had passed. He turned to them and called out, “Hey! You guys good there?”
“Doing great, Inuyasha. Thanks for asking,” came Miroku’s sarcastic response. 
Sango didn’t bother to reply and just kept slaying demons, and Inuyasha had to admit she was damn good at what she did. She moved like a well-oiled machine.  
Where was that damn girl though…?
“Hey! Where the fuck is Kagome?!” 
Even as he asked the question, Inuyasha could smell her scent coming from the opposite side of the building.
“She followed you when you decided to fight the mother spider.” Miroku answered, his breathing more labored now. 
Inuyasha wasn’t listening anymore, was already running towards the far wall where he could see Kagome. The pink glow of a barrier surrounded her while she held her ground against the horde attempting to break through her defenses. What the hell? It was his job to protect her, his duty and she ran off with a whole host of demons on her tail. Did she have no regard for her own safety? He grudgingly admitted to himself that she was doing a good job of keeping them off of her but she couldn't maintain it forever. She had to know that.
He made quick work of the remaining demons and Kagome released her barrier with a gasp of relief. She opened her eyes fully and he was swallowed up in her gaze for the space of a heartbeat. She annoyed the hell out of him but damn if she didn’t find ways to get under his skin, and not always in an unpleasant way.
“Hey what exactly do you think you’re doing here, huh?” He demanded.
“Destroying the rune.” She answered shortly, turning all her focus onto the aforementioned rune her right hand was placed over. It was a nasty piece of work; he could smell the black magic pouring from it in waves. It was acrid and foul. If Kagome said it needed to be destroyed then he trusted her enough to believe her. Trust…
As he sheathed his sword his thoughts went back to that day she had invited him into her bedroom. She had told him she trusted him implicitly. And she had said it so easily, with no hesitation like it should have been obvious. That wasn’t something he was used to hearing, especially not from someone like her - a priestess. Sure he had an agreement with her family but it didn’t guarantee something like trust. That was something that didn’t come to him easily and it was difficult for him to understand how she could extend something as precious as that so readily.
Kagome’s power flared and she focused everything she had on the purification of the rune. Now that Inuyasha had killed the rest of the demons she didn’t have to split her attention and power in half trying to accomplish two things at once. She had been getting close, but it was definitely taking its toll on her. Her legs were starting to get wobbly from her sustained assault.
With a final burst she poured her all into the rune, purifying it and rendering it useless and inert. As the purity of her power consumed the black mark Kagome heard a scream of outrage echoing inside her head. 
‘You meddling little girl...you and your friends are next…!’ a shrill feminine voice shrieked. And then it was gone and she was alone inside her own head again and she was so tired.
Kagome took a step towards Inuyasha and before she realized what was happening her legs gave out. All at once the exhaustion of the confrontation hit her and her vision went a little fuzzy. She had used more energy than she realized, fighting a battle on two fronts for as long as she had.
Warm arms enveloped and supported her while she struggled to regain her bearings. Inuyasha. With a sigh she buried her face into his chest for a moment. She just needed a moment. Surely that wasn’t too much to ask for. 
“Kagome! Hey, Kagome!! Don’t you faint on me!”
There was genuine concern in his voice and she thought she must really be tired because she had to be imagining it. This was Inuyasha, afterall. With an effort she opened her eyes and lifted her head, pulling back slightly to meet his golden gaze. For a moment she was speechless. He was looking at her in actual worry, brows creased. As she stared he moved one of his hands to cradle her face.
“Hey! You ok?”
“Yes. Just tired...used a lot of power.” She finally replied.
At her answer he removed his hands from her and she felt bereft for a moment at the loss of his touch. Her strength was returning though so she was able to stand on her own two legs again. It was over. For tonight anyways.
Sango finished off the last of the demons with a speed she didn’t know she possessed. There was an ever present worry for Miroku in the back of her mind as she fought and the quicker they killed these demons the quicker they could get him patched up and healed. The guilt continued to eat at her. If she was a more talented slayer the webs would never have even caught her and Miroku would never have been injured.
When the last one lay in its death throes Sango rushed back to the monk’s side as he dropped his barrier, removing her slayer mask while settling Hiraikotsu across her back and kneeling beside him. He looked at her and gave a weak smile and she didn’t return it. There was no way she could smile seeing him like this.
“Hang on, Miroku.” She told him as she wrapped one of his arms around her shoulders and stood, helping him to his feet. He leaned on her heavily, his breathing ragged in her ear.
“My dear Sango...is that worry in your voice for me?” He quipped. 
“Yes. And shut up. Now isn’t the time to be making jokes.”
“Sorry.” He laughed feebly. “But I’m honestly touched by your concern.”  
Before she could respond again Inuyasha and Kagome had made their way to them. Sango felt relief at the sight of the rest of their companions. Now they could get out of here and get Miroku the treatment he needed.
“Miroku! What happened?” Kagome gasped as she caught sight of him and noticed his condition for the first time.
“Probably got bit. Idiot.” Inuyasha answered but he said it mildly, no heat in his words. He came around to the other side of Miroku and helped Sango support his weight.
“He’s not an idiot. It was my fault.” Sango snapped, not in the mood.
“First your concern, and now you’re defending me...am I dreaming?” Miroku joked. 
“I swear, if you keep making jokes I’m going to drop you.” Sango warned.
“Like I said-- an idiot.” Inuyasha remarked. Sango didn’t argue with his assessment this time. Miroku sighed in defeat.
“What are we going to do about all these demon corpses? There’s just so many.” Kagome worried. “If someone were to come upon them…”
“I’ll call the slayers in the morning and get them to take care of the removal of the bodies.” Sango replied. “Right now I’m more concerned about Miroku.”
“Of course. He comes first.” Kagome agreed. “Where should we be taking him?”
“Sango’s place is closer than mine.” Miroku input, his voice strained. His hair was damp with sweat.
Night had fallen across the city as they emerged from the abandoned warehouse. They made their way to Sango’s apartment as quickly as they could, avoiding detection from all human passersby. Fortunately thanks to the shroud of darkness night offered it was easily accomplished. Once they walked into her place she and Inuyasha brought him to her bedroom and laid him down onto her bed.
After he was settled Sango removed his jacket and grabbed a pair of scissors from her kitchen drawer to cut off his shirt so they could see the full extent of the damage. She had Kagome go grab her first aid kit while she set about her task. 
“I hope you weren’t too attached to this shirt.” She told him as she began to cut the material away.
“If you wanted me naked in your bed all you had to do was ask.” Miroku joked back weakly.
“I thought I told you now wasn’t the time for jokes.” Sango replied sternly. Inuyasha was right. He was an idiot. Nevertheless, the fact he was still able to crack his one-liners was a good sign and she took a little comfort in that.
Once she was done removing his shirt she took a good look at his chest and grimaced. It was bad. The wound on his left side was still oozing blood, but worse than that and much more concerning were the streaks of purple radiating out from the site of the wound that spoke of the infection from the demonic poison. This would require a purification or it would spread to his heart and likely kill him.
Kagome returned with the first aid kit and got her first real look at the wound. “Oh no. I’m going to have to perform a purification,” she said, confirming Sango’s thoughts.
Inuyasha roused himself from where he leaned against the open bedroom door. “With what power? You’re already wiped out from the fight! You almost fainted, or did you forget?”
Kagome scowled. “I’m not that weak. I’m a Head Priestess, or did you forget? I just needed a moment to collect myself and I’m fine now.”
“Can’t we take him to the shrine and get someone else to do it?” Inuyasha argued.
“There’s no time!” Kagome burst. “Do you want him to live?? Because if I don’t do this now he’s not going to. I know you’re just trying to look out for me because that’s your job but I’m perfectly capable, ok?”
Sango glanced at Miroku and saw his eyes had closed, his breaths coming in short pants. 
“Isn’t Miroku supposed to be your best friend?” She asked, growing a little angry with Inuyasha. She couldn’t fault him for trying to protect Kagome, but at the expense of his best friend?
“Hey, don’t get me wrong. Of course I don’t want him to die. That stupid monk and I go way back and I’ve saved his ass more times than I can count. It doesn’t mean I don’t care what happens to him but my obligation to Kagome and her family comes first.”
“I’m not arguing with you about this.” Kagome told Inuyasha. She knelt on the left side of the bed and placed her hands over Miroku’s wound. Sango sat on the edge of the bed on the other side and before she could think better of it grabbed Miroku’s hand, holding it tightly. It was cool to the touch. 
Memories of a similar situation with her father were surfacing in her mind. Against her will she was starting to become emotional. Miroku had put himself at risk to catch her, to protect her. Why had he done that…? The man had only known her for a week. She barely gave him the time of day and yet he put his life on the line for hers. More and more it seemed she may have misjudged him. 
Kagome set about purifying the spider bite, a pink glow coming from her hands as she focused her power into his wound. Miroku grimaced and Sango imagined it had to be painful. His eyes opened and locked with hers and she couldn’t bring herself to look away from his indigo stare. She wondered what she looked like to him right now. Was her face as open and vulnerable as she was feeling inside at that moment? 
Several long minutes passed and finally the demonic poison from his injury was gone. Finished, Kagome stood unsteadily and Inuyasha came over to help her. Without a word he picked her up and she didn’t protest. She had to be bone tired. Sango noticed how carefully Inuyasha cradled her in his arms and wondered if perhaps there was something there between them after all. As the half demon carried Kagome from the bedroom Sango turned her attention back to the monk lying half naked in her bed. He was still looking at her, but there was the smallest smile playing across his lips now. Swallowing, Sango released his hand and went to get the first aid kit left on her dresser. He let her hand go after one final squeeze.
Carefully, she cleaned the wound and wiped away all the blood. She tried to keep her ministrations professional and definitely tried not to notice how perfect his abs were as she worked. He had an undeniably nice body and she was a woman so she couldn’t be blamed for appreciating it, she told herself. It was perfectly natural.
Reaching a hand under his back she prompted him to sit up while she wrapped bandages around him. He placed a hand on her shoulder to steady himself as she patched him up. When she was finally done she helped him lay back down and she could see the exhaustion on his face. This night had definitely taken its toll on him. 
Without thinking she reached a hand up and stroked his hair, wiping away the sweat and brushing his bangs from his forehead. As she started to withdraw her hand he caught it with one of his own. She glanced at him in surprise.
“If you don’t mind, I’d like to continue holding your hand.” Miroku told her. Searching his face she found no trace of his usual humor. It was an honest request. Blushing, she swallowed and nodded her consent before finding her words.
“I suppose. After all, it’s my fault you were injured.”
“Sango. Don’t blame yourself.” He told her seriously, then smiled, “Besides, I had to protect that flawless body of yours.”
“Go to sleep before I knock you out myself.”
“As my lady wishes.”
Sango rolled her eyes but she didn’t let go of his hand. His eyes closed and eventually his breathing evened out into the steady rhythm of sleep. Vaguely she heard the door to her apartment open and close and could only assume Inuyasha was taking Kagome home. Her own eyes began to grow heavy and before she knew it she was asleep as well.
Gradually she began to wake up, and her first thought was to wonder when her pillow became so firm. Not that it mattered, whatever she was resting upon was warm and comfortable and she gave a soft sigh of contentment and burrowed in deeper. A hand brushed through her hair gently and with a jolt of realization the previous night came back to her. She gave a soft gasp as her eyes opened and the hand stroking her hair stilled.
“You awake?” Miroku’s voice asked.
She had passed out next to him, her chest pressed against his side, her head on his own very naked chest, still holding his hand. The intimacy of their positions was not lost on her and she blushed as she slowly lifted herself up to look at him. Hesitantly she met his eyes and her heart began to pound so hard she wondered if he could hear it too. There was none of his usual teasing flirtatiousness present, instead she saw a gentle affection...and heat. She swallowed, her mouth suddenly dry.
“Good morning.” He said, and his accompanying smile made her breath catch.
“M-morning.” She managed. “I’m sorry, I...I didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.” This was so embarrassing. She should get up right now but she couldn’t seem to make herself move.
“I assure you I’ve enjoyed every second of it.”
“I...I’m...” ‘I’m sure you did’ she wanted to say but couldn’t get the words out.
If she leaned forward just a little more...their lips would touch. It was such a tempting thought. And she knew he wouldn’t mind in the slightest. His lips looked so inviting and she licked her own reflexively. His gaze shifted to her lips at that and Sango held her breath. She couldn’t believe how much she wanted to kiss him. Hadn’t she decided she wasn’t going to give in to him and his flirtations? It was a bad idea but it didn’t make her want it any less.
With an effort she pulled away and although she thought she saw disappointment in his eyes he let her go. For her it wouldn’t be just a kiss and she wouldn’t do that to herself. It was dangerous how quickly he made her forget her self control. Distance. She needed distance.
“I’m glad you’re ok. I need to go call the slayers about the demon corpses. And take a shower. I’m sure you need to get home.” She said and hastily retreated from the bedroom before he could say anything else.
Barricading herself in the bathroom she made the call to her father and when she was done with that she stripped down and turned on the water. She knew she was being ridiculous, not to mention obvious about avoiding him, but she couldn’t face him right now. Her heart was still beating way too fast. Leaning against the wall she waited until she heard the door to her apartment open and close before she relaxed. He was gone.
Good. That would give her time to compose herself. Next time she saw him she would have herself back under control again. Her walls would be back up and she would no longer be thinking about how his lips would have tasted or how it had felt to be pressed up against him. Even if she was starting to...feel things for him, she wouldn’t let it show. She refused to consider the possibility that she was more than just a challenge to him. If she did that she might start hoping for things and that would be even more dangerous.
~☆~
Kagome finished dressing in a navy sweater and a simple gray skirt that landed mid-thigh and exited her bedroom, needing to talk to Inuyasha. He had said he had something important to tell her last night but she had been so damn tired he hadn't had a chance before she passed out. Her heart beat a little faster at the thought of how he must have carried her home and, more shockingly, tucked her into bed. Thinking about it made her blush a little. It was so at odds with the side of Inuyasha she was most familiar with-- brash, gruff, and kind of a jerk.
As she finished her descent down the stairs she heard the voices of her grandfather and Inuyasha. The half demon’s voice abruptly cut off at her appearance.
“Oh, there ya are. Finally.”
“Good morning. What’s going on?”
“Kagome. Inuyasha has just told me something concerning.” Her grandfather said.
“Does this have to do with the thing you said you needed to tell me last night?” She asked.
“Yeah. When I killed the demon it said somethin’ right before it died. ‘Baki’.” Inuyasha replied, crossing his arms over his chest.
Kagome’s face scrunched up in thought. “Baki? What does that mean, though?” Something suddenly occurred to her. “Oh! I almost forgot to tell you. Right when I destroyed the rune I heard a voice in my head. Like it was talking to me through the connection I had made.”
“What?! Why didn’t you say something sooner??” Inuyasha demanded, and Kagome could tell it was out of concern for her but it still annoyed her. She couldn’t help but poke the bear a little.
“I was a little busy passing out in your arms if you recall.”
“In my arms?” 
“That’s right. Or did someone else carry me home and tuck me into bed?”
“I-I--...W--whatever!” He sputtered, reddening a bit. “What did the voice say?”
Kagome couldn’t stop the giggle that came out, earning herself a glare. That was fine. He cared, if only just a little bit and that was enough for now.
“It was a female voice. She called me a meddling little girl and said me and my friends were next.”
“A female voice, you say?” Her grandfather asked, and they turned to look at him. “This only confirms what I have feared.”
“Grandpa, what is it?”
“Years ago there was a beautiful and powerful priestess...but she became too greedy, too vain. She turned dark. After she was found to be practicing black magic she was cast out from her shrine. Her name was whispered about throughout all the shrines as a warning. I believe the spellbook missing from our own shrine was taken by her. It seems she is now consorting with evil demons, but that is hardly surprising.”
“How do you know it’s this dark priestess, though?” Kagome questioned.
“Because Inuyasha told me the last words of the demon. ‘Baki.’ The name of this dark priestess is Tsubaki. It is too much to be a coincidence.”
“If she’s making deals with demons now then how did she manage to steal the spellbook? The aura of the demons on her should have kept her out despite her spiritual powers. They would be too tainted to break through our wards, after all.” Kagome pointed out.
“She must have an accomplice. It would certainly explain how she was able to manage so much chaos in such a short amount of time.” He replied.
Kagome was quiet for a moment. All the pieces of the puzzle they currently had were starting to fit together. 
“Hey, old man.” Inuyasha spoke up. “Do you have any idea what she’s tryin’ to achieve here?”
“Tsubaki craved power as well as eternal life and beauty, or so they say. She is a jealous and vain woman, and very dangerous. I would imagine this is all a means to accomplish her ends. It's hard to say.”
“So how do we find her?” 
“I think I have an idea.” Kagome said. “There’s a location ritual I can perform. I already know the signature of the runes she’s been leaving behind. I can use that and the residual energy left behind from the telepathic connection she opened up with me.”
“She threatened you and you’re just gonna open yourself up to her??” Inuyasha exclaimed. 
“Then what do you suggest?” Kagome shot back.
“Not that!”
“That's not an answer!”
“I don’t like it.”
“Well I’m not going to sit around and let people get hurt when I could do something to help!”
“Listen, it’s my job to protect you. Kinda hard to do that when you keep throwin’ yourself into harm’s way.”
“Then protect me. Stand guard. Do whatever you have to do. But I’m performing this ritual. You can either help me or get out of the way but you’re not going to stop me.” Her tone was fierce. She could tell Inuyasha was surprised at her vehemence, and to be honest she kind of was too, but she wasn’t going to be kept on the sidelines of this fight. She wanted to do her part.
“Fine.” The half demon finally relented. “This is fucking stupid but fine. If you insist. But I’m gonna be with you the whole time.”
“That’s what I’m counting on.”
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twinklecheeks · 5 years
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Friends With Benefits (Jeff Wittek Imagine) Part 3
Summary: Jeff and Y/N have been hooking up for a while. The whole vlog squad assumes they’re dating and Y/N does too but Jeff doesn’t like labels. He eventually starts to express interest in Natalie.
Note: Sorry I always post at night! I usually take the day to type and then release it at night. Planning on making this a multiple part series, depending on how good it does. You’re 21 & Latina in this (maybe) series. Also, I’d like to apologize for the typos, if there is any. I’m just illiterate lmao.  
Warnings! pregnancy.
Part 1, Part 2
Word Count: 1.9k
For the past week, you’ve been trying to figure out ways of telling the vlog squad that you’re pregnant… Would it be easier just to tell everyone at one or do one/two people at a time? UGH WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE SO DIFFICULT. You have to tell them asap because you’ll be able to know the gender in a month and you want them to be there. You decide to do something different for every couple of people in the squad but before you do, it’s time for your first ultrasound!
The last time you got this done, you were 9-10 weeks pregnant, so you were LATE finding out you were pregnant. You wanted to find the best doctor you can find and luckily, Kylie set you up with the same one she had. You brought Stass and Kylie to the appointment because they begged you. Doctor: *walks in* Hey y/n how are you feeling? Y/n: I don’t feel as sick anymore but I’ve been feeling really full lately. I didn’t think my stomach would pop out so early. I was thinking maybe it’s because I’m a small and short? Doctor: ‘maybe. Layback and let me take a look” she put the cold jelly on your stomach and starts looking around with the doppler. She finds the baby and you see it wiggling around. Kylie & Stass: “You’re giving us major baby fever rn.” The doctor turns on the heart monitor and you hear a strong heart beat. To you, it sounds normal, but to the doctor, she hears something else. She moves the doppler some more and she sees something. Doctor: “umm miss, how thorough was the ultrasound you had in the ER?” Y/n: “I don’t know, they had a lot of people and they did it a little quick? Why do you ask?” She moves the doppler to what she saw and you see another blob appear. Doctor: “if they would’ve been more thorough and taken time, they would’ve told you that you’re having twins. You, Kylie & Stass: “TWINS???!?!?!!!” Doctor: “Yes. It seemed to be that baby B was hiding behind baby A.” None of you had words. You were having twins… TWO KIDS. You felt like you were having the biggest fever dream of your life but you knew this was real. You already told your family you were pregnant but know you gotta tell them that you’re having TWO? Oh hell no. Doctor: “do you want picture?” Y/n: “uhhhh, sure?” You all walked out of the appointment speechless. Kylie: “well that happened.”
*A few days later*
I took you a couple of days to process that you’re eating for 3. You wanted to do something simple cause you didnt wanna stress yourself out anymore than you already are.
David, Jason & Josh:
(Remember when Erin pranked David and Josh that she was pregnant but it was really an ovarian cyst? It’s gonna be set up like that.)
You asked them to come with you and film in your tesla so you can film a car mukbang. You had the pregnancy test with the old ultrasound picture with only one baby in the glove compartment and you had the one that shows the twins in your pocket. Y/n: *filming a mukbang* “Hey guys! I have David, Josh and Jason here with me, say hi.”  All three of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “Since I had no other ideas this week, my last resort was this. So have fun watching us stuff our faces with food.” You drove to Chick-Fil-A, in n out and jack in the box. Once you got everything, You parked in a parking lot, but before you start, you asked David to get you some “napkins” that were in your glove compartment and you saw his eyes go wide. David: “Shut the fuck up.” Jason and Josh are in the backseat all confused and David shows them. Jason: “No you’re not.” You’re just sitting there all nervous/ laughing and all you can say is “yes I am.” David is crying cause he loves babies, Jason & Josh are congratulating you. David: “Who’s the dad?” Y/n: “He’s not in the picture.” They all look at you with sad eyes. Jason: “we’ll be here to help with everything at anytime.” Your hormonal ass is getting the best of you and you try to hold back the tears. Y/n: “oh! One more thing. That was the first ultrasound from 3-4 weeks ago, this one was from a couple of days ago” They all see the two blobs. All three boys: “ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS YOU’RE HAVING TWINS?.” David: “Can I plan the gender reveal party?? Y/N: “Sorry, Kylie already called dibs.” David: “You told Kylie before us? Wow that’s cold.” Y/n: “Oh shut up. She was my only friend my age that has a baby. I had to get advice.” David: “ To make it up to me, If one of them is a boy, can you please name it David Jr.” Y/n: “Yes…. for 250k.” Jason: “Honestly, I wouldn’t put it past him… cause it would probably be sponsored by seatgeek.” David: *looks to the camera* “You heard it yourself people. If she has a boy, she’ll name it David Jr. for 250k. “ Y/n: “Damn now I’m kinda scared”
NEXT DAY, Corinna & Mariah:
Okay so that went well, I gonna do a 2 truths, 1 lie with Corinna & Mariah. They’re gonna be playing on the same team, so it’s 2 against 1, well 2 against 3 lol. After about 3 rounds, it was a tie (I lied on other ones so we can tie.) Y/N: “Okay so my first one is that I broke my leg when I was 15, 2. I hate Corinna’s dog and 3. I’m pregnant. Mariah: “Oh what the fuck….. Ummm.” Corinna: “Wait, you hate Carl?!” Y/n: “Just answer the question.” Mariah & Corinna: “The lie has to be that you’re pregnant.” Y/n: “the lie is that I hate Carl.” It took them a minute to understand what I said. Mariah: ‘YOU’RE FUCKING PREGNANT.” Corinna: “OH MY GOD NO WAAAY.” Y/n: “Oh and one more thing! “Shows them the twin ultrasound.” Mariah & Corinna: ARE YOU FUCKING JOKING.” Corinna: “Are they Jeff’s?” Y/n: “Is it that obvious?” Mariah: “Kind of. The boys haven’t noticed because they’re idiots.”
NEXT DAY: Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt:
(I made this a big collab cause I was running out of ways to tell people)
So for this reveal, I asked the six of them to send in their silly baby/kid pictures so we can react to them. The last pic will be of the twin ultrasound. Y/n: *filming* “Hey guys! I’m here with Kristen, Scotty, Todd, Zane, Heath & Matt, say hi.” All 6 of them: “Hi!!!” Y/n: “This week, we’ll be reacting to our childhood photos and maybe roast them.” All of the pictures were so 90s. Kristen with the classic ruffled poofy dresses, Matt looking like a nerdy kid, Zane holding Hidaya when she was born, 7 year old Scotty singing into a hair brush…. And then the final picture, my twin ultrasound. Everybody was so confused. Zane: “Did someone eat their twin in the womb? cause aint none of us a twin.” And then someone finally noticed. Matt: “Y/n why is your name at the corner of that ultrasound?” Kristen: “NO YOU’RE NOT.” Heath: “OOOO BITCH SHE GONNA HAVE 2 LITTLE COFFEE BEANS.” Scotty and Todd are just speechless. You’re wondering if Todd knew about you and Jeff because he’s his best friend…
You pulled aside Kristen and told her Everything. The only people you can trust with who the dad is are the girls. Kristen: “Are you gonna tell him?” Y/n: “No… He doesn’t treat me right. If he’s never treated me right, how is he gonna treat these babies?”
Todd & Jeff on a hike:
Todd: “Hey, did you hear that Y/n is pregnant?” Jeff: “whoa no I didn’t. Who told you that?” Todd: “y/n did. She revealed it in a collab she was doing with others. She’s having twins.” Jeff: “Jesus Christ, twins? That’s gonna be terrible.” Todd: “She must’ve forgot to tell you. Maybe pregnancy brain really is a thing.” Jeff’s thoughts: “I knew that bitch was sleeping with other people. There’s no way those babies are mine. She had no right trying to get mad at me cause I’d ghost her. Thank god I’m with Natalie. She’s like no one I’ve ever dated before.”
Hanging out with Kylie & Stass:
I told all of the vlog squad. Stass: “Did you tell Jeff?” Y/n: “No, but Olivia told me that Todd told him. I think Jeff is too dumb to connect the dots. He won’t figure it out.” Kylie: “Are you sure you don’t want to tell him? You’re having twins and one baby is already a lot but two? You need the help. You know what, I can hire nannies for you.” Y/n: “What? No, you don’t have to do that. I don’t wanna spend your money.” Kylie: “It’s not like I’m running out. You do remember that I’m a billionaire, right?” Stass & Y/n: “How could we forget lol.”
David, Jason & Josh POV
David: “It sucks that y/n is gonna be a single mom. It’s gonna be a lot; 2 babies and she’s in her last year of college. I hope she’ll be okay.” Jason: “She’ll be fine. She has all of us to look out for her.” Josh: “I have my own kid to watch, so I’ll probably not be as much help.” David: “She has been one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We met on vine in 2015, we met up here in LA and then the rest was history. She was really there for me when Liza and I broke up. She was my shoulder to cry on. Honestly, I’d do anything for her.” Jason: “Do you have a thing for y/n?” David stayed silent. Josh: “I’m not sure if it’d be the right time to try to win her over. She has a lot going on.” David: “It’s getting pretty late, y’all should be heading home. Jason: “Yeah. I have to pick up Charlie and Wyatt early tomorrow. Josh: “The wife doesn’t like that I stay out late, goodnight.”
David thinking to himself:
I’ve had a thing for y/n for a while now but I don’t know. It’s obvious that she had a thing with Jeff. Because of those 2 fights they had in my backyard, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jeff was the father. I was mad at how Jeff spoke about her. She not like that at all! I mean, it’s not wrong if she were but no one should ever talk to a women like that. I’ll help her as much as possible; I’m not opposed if anything were to spark between us along the way…
Back to Y/n, Kylie & Stass:
Kylie: “When’s your next appointment?” Y/n: “2-3 weeks, why?” Kylie: “Cause by that time, WE CAN FIND OUT THE GENDER OF THE BABIES!” Stass: “She’s obviously gonna go all out. Did you see Stormi’s first birthday? I swear it looked bigger than a sweet 16.” Y/n: “Oh boy… or girl…”
------------------------
We get to find out the genders in the next chapter!! She’ll be like 16 weeks by then… I’m excited! I’ve already decided what both are gonna be… There’s gonna be some surprises! Oh and David has a thing for y/n? Ooooo girl the Tea is HOT. I also just realized the date of the video I picked when y/n and Jeff diddled (yes I said diddled).... The date on the video says 7/20…. That means the twins are due 4/20……. I swear I didn’t plan that lmao.
Taglist: @elvlogsquad @siemprestan @zavidzobrik @1-800-juniper @iminlovewithenchilidadas @ilsolee
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sirjustice1306 · 3 years
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Kenya poor dude, police get another prize dude as of post election bro
Even with corpse of your like can be made in the boom by taking the exact big photo or small and give it measurements on the face, lips, eyes and height, folded and u step within CD hole on white paper on white guava extract, heap hay and mango in dim light in gone down places within ya compound or in a tank as u wash ya feet with males kids in detergent water after washing clothes and boom ya corpse or chop hay in board soaked in kerosene
Like in Japan women locate men who knows how to repair machine and operate a laundry as only loopholes left that aint official jobs they should not compete with women when SME are removed out of the fact of bringing ya own fake goods or foods and sell, jeopardizing economy when it has been made a franchise as Govt taken control of all aspects of production and the above only left as car wash r automated dude and taxi left. When people of male in nature in a nation like 60% knows how to repair machines as laundry, electronic, motor bikes, bicycles and cars then, they can open garage and diffuse the above as opposed to opposite dude, even if u got 1 car daily is something dude, gives u some cash and women should locate such more than anything as even carpentry overtaken as such furniture now made in the boom and even building and construction to make such people redundant in life dude and even plumber work can do, so think twice in this new years of the next generation as snow shovel any1 can do provided u got the machine, so aint a shit as much as lawn mowing u cant pride on such dude
People who went via private schools in beef with those who gone to Public, since they are more into the Govt they block the majority who went via public schools and forms the larger percentage of voters, so vote 4 ya own even if in tribe dude, cause out of the above will block ya and favor 1 who went through private if u gone via public and vice versa, a thing not known dude as they say, they helped create much employment as compared to ya and paid much as they valued education so why triumph over them and moreover they can relent and invest as compared to the public school goers and even with colleges dude. Get to private schools if possible to second ya ways dude
Detect human urine using this machine, instead of pointing figures mistaking others, if u got cash dude, if not be mum dude
https://www.amazon.com/Detector-Flashlight-Detects-Kittens-Puppies/dp/B01A27V5EA/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8
Write Nairobi city CBD from this rd to this road, as u write and step on within CD hole on hay with sugar or tangerine, heap sea water with grass or lake water with hay as floating on water, then wash ya feet in surgical spirit with kids and women your other hand steadfast on metallic hook from the wall and boom ya city in water lands or in Normal land heap guava and hay or chop mango on board soaked in milk and with Any city just write as above and Step on the above or another something else and chop many veggies/fruits/berries/leaves in wood soaked in any one fruit, leaves, berries not in the heap above and even in grass, hay or cereals both raw and dry or even on starchy foods and boom ya town or wash feet as above in mixed alcohol drinks, juices, spirits, detergents or the extracts of all mentioned above as u try on those locations as named above dude
Edmonton Canada, such people love elder people or hidden things, a people who loves respect and of few words, got such u got that Canadian blood dude, they love people who talked as tipsy or under influence of animal, who partially cares not as their women dude, and love, early morning and torn/old things dude
http://www.world-guides.com/north-america/canada/alberta/edmonton/edmonton_maps.html
On tea land next to the roads u can place the short range laser lights or alarms to detect the same on such frontiers dude as in the link below as u hide the panel in coolers within moisture absorbing chemicals or duvet/blankets or within under ya ceiling or tomb
https://www.amazon.co.uk/LEDKIA-LIGHTING-Non-Contact-Sensor-Activation/dp/B08GP62HHW
https://www.amazon.com/Detector-Vehicle-Display-Highway-Detection/dp/B08J81CQ1P
https://www.alibaba.com/product-detail/Tuya-smart-wireless-home-security-alarm_1600100727998.html?spm=a2700.7724857.normal_offer.d_title.55c27fcadno87g&s=p&fullFirstScreen=true
Many heat panels add the watts to make it same to that of solar panel that gets into the big inverter to power your house even in iron box, cooker, laundry without burning as in the link below
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsVvBZQkHaM
https://www.amazon.com/thermoelectric-generator/s?k=thermoelectric+generator
https://www.amazon.com/TEC1-12710-Thermoelectric-Peltier-Cooler-154Wmax/dp/B072TQX2RQ/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=thermoelectric+generator&qid=1610281928&sr=8-2-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEyRzBENlFRODZaM1pVJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwODk5Mjg0M0pGSzRXU1ZaTkJIWiZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzYzMzU5MzhOQjkwQlBaQU40NyZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
https://www.amazon.com/Power-Inverter-Charger-240Vac-Output/dp/B00O805FO4/ref=sr_1_8?dchild=1&keywords=10000+watt+high+power+inverter&qid=1610282027&sr=8-8
https://www.amazon.com/AIMS-Power-Continuous-Temperature-Indicator/dp/B008HSAX8G/ref=sr_1_35?dchild=1&keywords=10000+watt+high+power+inverter&qid=1610282027&sr=8-35
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=100+amp+solar+charger+controller&ref=nb_sb_noss_2
What bring spirits, many women along ya way and not made an affair with them and getting that way dude
Will not help, something am a grown up and should stop eating on the road, will not help, what u gonna do, now that betting is being ilegalised and tea can be taken cold without repercussion and even vegetables when taken super hot of artificial nature destroys not ya teeth but with vice versa and with fruits destroy ya teeth when taken ripe but not raw, so u know the antidote cause that way as if not with consequences thwart the economies of the growing nations, and so truth should surface even in chain stores of differential pricing. My money little even if u monitor me will not help or save the day dude. Sell ya house to 1 as u claim to want to sell to me, to get them off me dude
Equity close the a/c dude i told ya and WSU keep the cash or give me faster, don't get into 1 cash yet his plight not solved, Russia warn putin dude, that's not the way, he campaigned himself and even if payed peanuts and his own shit not ours dude. Let gays and snakes be identified and shot down to end all these dude, from dusk to dawn dude. Your kids next people, making their manhood rise, cause they blow that smoke next when close to ya to indict ya or the kid apply a chemical 4 the same dude, keep ya kids off people and if special special to ya dude, stop disturbing me with that, i will kill ya with ya kid using voodoo, if continue to disturb me dude. Kenya poor and how will u wait and make all machines as other nations also make, stop bro, u r poor u r poor, or like betting closed in Uganda, call 4 siren gas and kill all who have refused to hear up on the same issue dude
U wont get to people house and share their food as yours previously u could not share, u of alcohol and betting tricks as described earlier dude, don't play cool with me dude u of pulp wood with Congo now made artificially even known to ya, rude at 1st just laughing in absentia that all will get to Congo as they ship illegally winning women dude to start the above without 2nd stance bro. Stop and locate ya comfort zone of what u can do best and be there stop disturbing one u know not dude, What u want dude, USA u will not attack to take their wealth and SA or Tunisia u will not go and steal again lest killed and my food as u r grown up u wont share with me 4 more than a week, locate ya hustle dude
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a sleeping kitty - 1st time cinder undastand the point - to being blankie covered - actually a sweatshirt but it was her blankie for yrs - she lay on it not under - she waking cuz its time and she hear the click and dont like fotos - so a little grumpy yah but comfy 
did i write awready the poem bout the kitty - i think yes but this morning a lifetime  - things cool  - things that coulda didnt go wrong  - started to get chill and wet - despite overkill and layers - fing wind gust to 40 mph make even mild and imma pussy tho y thats an insult or an indication of week ness escape me and it the only word that fit - but u gotta wonder  (imma lissening stevie btw ) - anyway it sounds better than old af and feeble yah?
still been out 2x   - store post office -   then acupuncture and lunch w vita - we strategize  a bit make sure we on the same page  - always  - evrything else is details  - we both complicated ppl  - we boil it down to real as fuck and love  but share an illusion or two and then play music  - 
wuz sposed to go hear liam and check out scene but didnt wanna tempt fate - made apologies to find he flight delayed aint gonna make it his own self  - we not in the same book right now never mind the pages - we walk in love best we can  - ignore the bullshit - and right now some rug sweeping underneath the radar - not quite dancing but sway a little - maybe a shoulder shrug next thing u no he vogueing - no not even that would b just too  - fuck if i know - am i digressing - bout fucking time lol - imma proud of starting wat turned out 2 b mothers of science  despite it not turning out in almost any way that intended  -  it really aint my scene  - it might b if could put out music on it - cross promote  and not have to fund 2 company  - some water flows under burned bridges - i fucking warned u i writez poetry i gess sometimes - i sneek it in  
yah t inna middle or wuz or - complicated in waze only teenage  mixed in w diagnosis ‘  - and like tree branch and it never gonna get unfucked up that i can see in my lifetime - maybe 20 yrs time pass 
actually may play w an adult tomorrow at madrone lol - lots of maybe in that equation - sly just how much higher u wanna takez me ?  been there done that 
hungry murders fed and they do b hungry tween rain storms  - sleight of hand - change the subject 
everyone worried bout t health - inc t  - its the fucking winter and bad things have happened  - that said - cept for 2 short relapse not smoking - i only push myself hard when no choice and starting healthy - taking heart meds - a vacation from copd med cuz steroid - cramps and i forgetz sometime but mood swings omfg chronik  - exercise moderately and building still muscle  - if i get short of breath i stop until normal 
we wuz tawking awk awk crows yah 
in my heart i think imma make it thru the winter maybe few more i dont think a decade but i didnt think 21 either - lol  i did call out death a while ago  -accident like - not sorry tho  - a scene from iron man that didnt end well 
(OMFG t is actually editing and making changes like it matters - wtf )
like a sunset draping formless over hillside 
i change again - the subject 
i dont fukken know how or why but im spending most my time getting ready to - in shape for or recovering from 
making magic - sometimes only moments sometimes slowly hours pass  - mostly 
playing music 
love 
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playitbyear-laz · 4 years
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After taking a break for a few weeks to spend time reflecting, learning, conversing, and trying to figure out my own place in relation to everything going on in the world right now, we’re back again with the next installment of the PLAY IT BY EAR bi-weekly playlist/reflection series.
It’s hard to know when the right time is to try to get back into the groove of things, when it seems like chaos is abundant & people are juggling a million different emotions at once. The biggest question on everyone’s minds is “when will things get back to normal?”
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from the past couple of weeks, it’s that the era of ‘normal’ was never real. The issues we see so apparently in front of us today have been around way before most of us were even born, they just do a good job at hiding behind a variety of distractions i.e., social media, our favorite brands, artists, music, movies, etc.,.
These things have an effect on us that is habitual and it's easy to lose sight of where you’re going if you’re running on autopilot. The nature of life is change. Nothing has ever been ‘normal,’ but it can be really easy to convince yourself otherwise when distractions are abundant. The only things keeping you ‘normal’ are the values & habits that you choose to maintain in a world that’s constantly changing -- so choose wisely. There is no magic moment where everything will be fixed. There is no finish line. Life is constant, it’s flowing, and the best thing we can do is build awareness of ourselves & use that awareness to become better in whatever ways we can.
Whatever you need to do during this time to figure out what it means to be ‘better’, please take the time to do so. We all want to see the world in a better place than it is now, but that can’t happen until you understand who you are first and understand your role in relation to the world around you.
Lastly, I hope the music & insight from PLAY IT BY EAR can act as a form of healing for you during this time. Creating this platform has been cathartic for me & I hope you as the listener/reader will find it to be as well. If anyone needs an ear to vent to during this time, my email/DM is open -- please feel free to reach out to me as needed. Wishing you peace today and always.
                                 Much love, laz.
                              PLAY IT BY EAR 011
                                   curated by laz
                          Link to all platforms HERE.
Hard Life - SAULT
WHERE: Decided to check out SAULT after hearing Questlove rave about their latest album Untitled (Black Is), but the homie Larry (@predakon) also featured them when he did the guest takeover for PLAY IT BY EAR 008. I highly recommend checking out Cleo Sol as well, who’s one of the lead singers for the band.
WHY: SAULT is one of the most unique groups out right now, blending the genres of funk, neo-soul, and alternative rock with ease. The lyrics in almost all of their tracks reflect on current issues going on in the country. What I like most about ‘Hard Life’ is that the track comes in two parts -- the first half almost feeling like a type of chant, illustrating the prolonged nature of life’s constant tests, while the second half resolves this feeling with triumphant lyrics and a bright instrumental.
Imagine - Snoop Dogg feat. Dr. Dre & D’Angelo
WHERE: IG story - @markpeaced
WHY: Growing up in LA, pretty much anything that Snoop Dogg and Dr. Dre have worked on together is gonna be saved in your library, but having D’Angelo sing the hook makes for one of the most pleasantly unexpected Snoop/Dre tracks ever. All three of these artists have songs in their discographies that delve into social issues, but to hear them all come together over a simple boom bap beat, speaking about a vision for a more peaceful world is something that feels very rare.  
Wishes - Juls feat. Jah Cure
WHERE: Juls has produced some of the biggest afrobeat tracks to come out in recent years (U Say - Goldlink feat. Tyler, The Creator &. Jay Prince,  Skin Tight - Mr. Eazi, So Mi So - Wande Coal, and more).
WHY: At this point, it feels wrong for me not to include an afrobeat, dancehall, or reggae track on these playlists - there’s just so much to love about this sound palette and there’s no denying its growth, momentum, and impact in mainstream music today. What I like most about 'Wishes,’ however, is the lyrics sung by Jah Cure about building an appreciation for both the good and bad things life has to offer.
7-21-17_substitute_hifi_v3 - Toro y Moi
WHERE: Went through a bit of a Toro y Moi binge recently and this track off Soul Trash stood out to me most from that album.
WHY: Since Mk.gee dropped his album, chillwave & synth pop music has been my go-to genre. This track however, has major Jai Paul vibes, and is a production style that I would like to see used more in electronic & pop music today. The wavy synths paired with the super tight drum patterns have the ability to instantly put me in a contemplative mood.
Nobody - Akil
WHERE: Soulection Radio #450
WHY: Admittedly, I have a pretty bad habit of not paying as much attention to lyrics in rap these days. With trap being at the forefront of hip hop, I got so used to focusing on the overall vibe of a track that the lyrics often got pushed to the back, which is exactly is why I love Nobody. From the jump, Akil’s delivery demanded my attention, with a commanding flow that most rappers these days seem to lack.
The Climb - Flying Lotus feat. Thundercat
WHERE: In April, Ta-Ku asked his followers on Twitter for a thread of songs that give them hope. This was one of the tracks posted and has been in constant rotation since.
WHY: All of the things you would love from a Flying Lotus and Thundercat track can be found here -- but the overwhelmingly uplifting and positive lyrics is something I rarely get to hear from Thundercat and for that, I appreciate it immensely.
Riot Van - Arctic Monkeys
WHERE: I believe @_kikovalle posted this one on his IG story, but I could be wrong. Either way, shout out Kiko I guess lol.
WHY: Riot Van is a solemn reflection on the experience of being harassed by a police officer, but told through the lens of an English teenager in the early 2000s. What I like about this track is the overall feeling of defeat and hopelessness that is so commonly felt these days with much of the youth and their view on police.
Ain’t Got Time - Roy Ayers Ubiquity
WHERE: n/a
WHY: As I mentioned above, while the smoke of recent events has seemed to die out a little bit, our work towards social justice, racial equality, and bettering the ‘self’ isn’t over and probably won’t ever be in our lifetime. That being said, we can’t give in to the feelings of comfort and complacency or getting “tired” while we’re still here and able to fight.
“We aint’ got time to be tired, we got a long, long way to go.”
Also, in case you missed it -- PLAY IT BY EAR now has its own social accounts. Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @playit_byear and please share with a friend if you’re enjoying our brand. More music, thoughts, and content on the way and I can’t wait to exchange that energy with you. See you there.
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ninatastic · 5 years
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@kay-licious how dare u (thanks <3) @silent-calling youre doing amazing sweetie
1. Are looks important in a relationship?
I wouldnt call it a key factor but it’s important to feel attraction towards your partner
2. Are relationships ever worth it?
sure! If it’s a healthy one definitely :D
3. Are you a virgin?
nah 
4. Are you in a relationship?
yeh!
5. Are you in love?
I’d say so!
6. Are you single this year?
no
7. Can you commit to one person?
yes
8. Describe your crush
it me bf
9. Describe your perfect mate
same as above c: 
10. Do you believe in love at first sight?
no, only when it comes to animals c;
11. Do you ever want to get married?
thats a dream of mine tbh
12. Do you forgive betrayal?
I guess every healthy person would say no but yes, I’d absolutely do (only the first time tho, after the second time you gotta ask yourself if it’s really worth it)
13. Do you get jealous easily?
in regard to my bf: I used to but it’s a hell of a lot less nowadays. In regard to people in general, sometimes, especially when im not doing well mentally
14. Do you have a crush on anyone?
me bf
15. Do you have any piercings?
just have my ears pierced!
16. Do you have any tattoos?
no but maybe soon
17. Do you like kissing in public?
only if its sweet forehead or cheek kisses, or quick kisses on the mouth or hand kisses
20. Do you shower every day?
yes though I gotta admit I really have to force myself. Not because I like being stinky but because everything is kinda difficult sometimes
21. Do you think someone has feelings for you?
bruh I sure hope my bf does;;
22. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
nah
23. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?
I’ve been in a relationship for 5 and a half years now, I think so
24. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?
it is possible but who tf knows
25. Do you want to be in a relationship this year?
idk, to be frank: I think my life would be a bit easier if I wasnt in a relationship, or if I hadnt been in a relationship for the past 1-2 years. And I often feel like im more of a burden to my bf than anything else. But thats a different story
26. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?
as in losing touch with me? I guess so
27. Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?
a song yes and it was awkward as hell ajhajdfha and people have done drawings for me which is <3<3<3<3<3<<3<3<33
28. Have you ever been cheated on?
Yup
29. Have you ever cheated on someone?
very very unfortunately yes, and just like a bunch of you guys I was this close to killing myself. I was in a very bad place which I know is not an excuse for this. I still think about it even if it’s been a time since then but I think I cqan never forgive myself because of that
30. Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?
often but im too much of a scared cat dsfskjf  idk though, I would love to be much more petite size wise
31. Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?
oh often
32. Have you ever experienced unrequited love?
yeah;; I’m not exactly pretty or popular, so puberty was hard
33. Have you ever had sex with a man?
hell yeah
34. Have you ever had sex with a woman?
:( no
35. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?
yeh!!
36. Have you ever liked one of your best friends?
Yeah and it’s difficult to be normal then aaaaaahhhhhhh
37. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?
some of my friends have a strong disliking towards my current bf but i dont know if you can call it hate
38. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
yeah and it ruined me for a while
39. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?
uuuuhh not really I think
40. Have you ever written a song or poem for someone?
whenever I write bday cards I always put a poem in it :D
41. Have you had sex so far this year?
hella
42. How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander?
depends on how thirsty I am
43. How long was your longest relationship?
5 and a half years and counting
44. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
2-3
45. How many people did you kiss in 2011?
uuhh I was 14, no one 
46. How many times did you have sex last year?
HELLA
47. How old are you?
22 my dudes
48. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?
I#d try to play it cool because internally I’m panicking, someone help me
49. If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her?
I love about my bf how you can ALWAYS count on him when shit gets down, even if he hasnt talked to a friend for a good while and they’re like “hey I need you”, he’ll be there in a sec Also that he is still able to surprise me
50. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?
jsdfhsjdfks GO AWAY, I’d say while closing the door and shutting the blinds quicker than lightning
51. Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for?
yeah, but that’s probably because I have bpd and depressions
52. Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Why?
yeah, I tried to help them on all occassions, so much that I ruined my own life partially and made myself sick. But whatever I did or said, they apparently want to suffer, so i gave up trying. 
53. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?
yeah my abuser probably
54. Is there someone you will never forget?
unfortunately yes and fortunately yes
55. Share a relationship story.
uuuuuuhhhhh; I dont really know what to write here. Guess I’ll never forget when my bf held a kitten (which was only a week old) in his hands and he almost cried because he loved the baby so much. Haha, he was afraid of crushing it though because it was much smaller than the palms of his hands
56. State 8 facts about your body
I gained a lot of weight since last year which is why I avoid posting or taking pics, but according to everyone else you dont see it that much (?); my hair is getting its natural curliness back; I fucked up my knee so I’ll have knee surgery next year; I bruise easily; I have a shit ton of scars; I love my super green eyes; I have thicc thighs and if I’m very emotional I get red spots all over my body
57. Things you want to say to an ex
to my first ever bf: fuck u lmao to the second bf I had: I’m so sorry for everything and I hope that you found your place :)
58. What are five ways to win your heart?
uuuhhh be sweet and understanding, be funny, be somewhat smart, dont be a mean asshole and be nice to other people (especially kids) and animals and also be able to be fascinated by small things 
59. What do you look like? (Post a picture!)
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yikes
60. What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners?
my current bf is 8 years older than me
61. What is the first thing you notice in someone?
how open and nice they are? Idk I always choose my ppl to hang out with according to this
62. What is the sexiest thing someone could ever do for/to you?
even though I’m a switch I have a big preference for being the sub, so if someone can dominate me and yknow do stull like carry me princess style or something im all like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
63. What is your definition of “having sex”?
everything that comes after kissing imo
64. What is your definition of cheating?
I think as soon as you try to pursue someone emotionally that already counts as cheating
65. What is your favourite foreplay routine?
kissing, grinding, I love when someone talks dirty to me
66. What is your favourite roleplay?
if it aint too much of a tmi i’d love to admit that we have a collar and a leash so (not thinking about pet play uughfjhjsdfkhsd, just yknow someone is able to drag me to them like this or being held in place while being taken from behind is p nice)
67. What is your idea of the perfect date?
something something being outside in the nature and also good food 
68. What is your sexual orientation?
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69. What turns you off?
super super wet kisses where also my nose somehow gets stuck in someone elses mouth Like dude r u a vacuum cleaner sdfhsdkjhfks
70. What turns you on?
being manhandled
71. What was your kinkiest wet dream?
idk I dont really have a lot of wet dreams and usually theyre not very kinky but rather sweet and slow 
72. What words do you like to hear during sex?
I like dirty talk, so imma leave that open 
73. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?
i love to get flowers, or lil stuff that reminds us of our friendship or something, self made/home made stuff is always !!!!!!!!!!!!
74. What’s the most superficial characteristic you look for?
probably hands? I love it when girls have super slender hands and when boys have rough and big hands
75. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?
I already answered that c:
76. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?
I have a few stories I’m proud of! But I really love this one: When I was little I grew up in a village in which like 300-400 people lived (maximum) and next to us lived this sweet older couple who always gave us sweets and vegetable for our parents, or they brought us stuff from when they went on vacation. The man is now constantly sick, he suffers from parkinson and you see the early statges of dementia setting in. A while ago he wanted to go and get the German version of fish and chips with his wife but due to him needing a ton of surgeriesw constantly he wasnt able to go out with his wife. When my mom told me this I was like wtf u cant just tell me this, I’m too soft. So I went and got fish and chips from the best market around us for him and flowers for his wife, despite the fact that I havent seen them in YEARS. When I arrived at their front door both of them hugged me and cried a bit
77. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?
not bad if everything is consensual and if there’s a power balance thats equal 
78. What’s your dirtiest secret?
I think the leash thing is one of the kinkiest things we’ve ever done tbh
79. When was the last time you felt jealous? Why?
yesterday a bit when my bf went out wth friends and had a few beers while I was stuck at home with the thought that I can never have a beer again dkadfjahdf as stupid as that sounds but I always enjoyed these chill evenings with a beer and friends
80. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?
this morning when I cuddled my cats :D
81. Who are five people you find attractive?
my bf and many videogame and anime characters, also my best female friend is hella attractive, also some of my friends are to die for
82. Who is the last person you hugged?
my bf!!
83. Who was your first kiss with?
my first bf sdfjsdfs
84. Why did your last relationship fail?
it didnt really work out, it seemed as he was more interested in saying “hey im in a relationship!” than in me, hah;;
85. Would you ever date someone off of the Internet?
yeah, sure
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littlebitoffanfic · 6 years
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Teacher
Fandom: The Hills Have Eyes Character: Lizard Relationship: Lizard/reader Request :I love when you make lizard real protective of the reader. Can you do one like that again? An: part 1: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/155592661619/complete part 2: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/156456610004/complete-part-2 part 3: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/162564408954/complete-part-3 Part 4: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/163535128554/complete-part-4-tease Part 5: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/163535225904/complete-part-5-needed Part 6: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/171498361714/alone-time Part 7: http://littlebitoffanfic.tumblr.com/post/174733043749/complete-part-7-saviours-reward “Come on.” You giggled as you grabbed Lizard by the hand, trying to make him hurry up. “Fuck off.” He growled but never tried to snatch his hand back or pull you back. He didn’t like being dragged places, even if it was for something good. You wanted to show him something that you knew he would be proud of. You had been at the station all morning trying to do a bit of a clean both inside and out. It had happened so quickly. You heard the door opening and just assumed it to be Ruby who had agreed to come out and help you later on. You had called hello to her over your shoulder, but a mans voice answered. You turned to see a single man, a biker judging by the gear he wore, walking into the shop. He nodded hello to you and walked right over to the fridge. Bikers were dangerous because they normally had better reflexes than car drivers. They had more control over the vehicle and could avoid things easier. There had been a couple of times they had completely missed the spikes Lizard put out which were normally near invisible to drivers. So you had taken it upon yourself to kill him. You had shot him in the back of the head when he took his helmet off to take a drink then immediately radioed for Lizard to come out. He could help you get the body in the car you had bought. Pushing the door open, you pulled him inside and pointed to the body. “that aint your job!” He suddenly shouted at you, making you jump and step away from him, dropping his hand. “Hes a biker! You know how hard it is to catch them if they miss your spikes.” You frowned, a little annoyed that he had reacted this way. “You should’a radioed! Said there was someone here!” He was angry and you had no idea why. “I couldn’t! He was already in the shop before I knew there was someone here!” You shouted back, raising your voice. “Maybe if you payed attention more, no one would slip past!” Lizard matched your voice and went louder, his hands balled into fists as he stormed past you, bashing your shoulder as he went for the body. Your own anger spiralled out of control because you knew what he meant. 3 weeks ago, you had missed a family who had driven by the garage because you were reading. It wasn’t till Goggle radioed asking why you hadn’t said anything. “One mistake! One mistake in years!” you pointed out, throwing you hands up. “Only takes one mistake to get us killed.” Lizard sneered over his shoulder at you as he rummaged through the pockets of the corpse. “You make plenty of them yourself!” You growled, grabbing the bag on the counter filled with the dead mans things and throwing it at Lizards back but it just fell to the side. At your words, Lizard twisted around. “Whats that suppose to mean?!” He said in a low and menacing voice. “You know damn well. How many times have I nearly been killed because of your mistakes. Because you didn’t tie someone down properly and they decided to take me as a hostage. How many times have people come after me because they know im with you? Do you have any idea how terrified I get when we have people in the village because I know they will come for me? Or when im out here by myself? Huh?” You scream in his face as he stands up, his body tense and he stood hunched over slightly, like he wanted to fight. “Then why do you stay if its so fucking scary?!” He growls in your face. Your anger quickly drops away, your body slouching slightly as you look away from him. He saw the sorrow in your eyes. Immediately, his own anger leaves as he becomes less aggressive in his stance. He watches you turn away from him, wrapping your arms around yourself. he heard you mumble something. He quickly darts forward and grabs your upper arm, not hard enough to hurt you, so he could turn you back to him. “What?” He asked, his eyes begging for you to repeat yourself. “Because I love you.” You whispered in a low voice, as if you were scared the dead would hear you. Your eyes were watering as you tried to hold back tears. “Good.” He mumbled, a soft smile on his lips. He wanted to be sappy, like Ruby always said the men on TV were. He wanted to tell you that you meant the world to him and that he never wanted you to leave. But it just wasn’t him. But as he saw a small smile tug at your lips, he knew he didn’t have to be that. You understood him better than anyone else and you cared about him. He didn’t have to be sappy and romantic for you to know you were his world. He let go of your arm to turn back to the body. “Nice shot.” “Thanks. I had a good teacher.” You couldn’t help but smile as you saw the look of pride on Lizards face. It had been him after all who had taught you. He had took you shooting when you were just 8 years old and he was 10. He had told you how to use the gun. When Papa found out, he had been livid as he tried to keep you and Ruby innocent. But when you got older, you asked Lizard to teach you properly. Even as teenagers, there had been something between the two of you. He stood behind you, his arms wrapped around your shoulders so he could help you stand and aim right. You never admitted it to him, but you knew how he would use it as an excuse to get close to you, to smell your hair and hold you in his arms a little. “Ill protect yah. You know that, right?” Lizard suddenly asked, his face fell into a blank expression you couldn’t read. “I know.” You mumbled softly, linking your arm in his and cuddling into his side You understood now. Papa had always told him to protect you, to keep you safe and out of harms way. But Lizard saw that as you could never be in danger. Perhaps he thought you killing the guy meant he had neglected his duty or he thought of everything that could have gone wrong. For whatever reason, he had lashed out at you. But, as normal, he quickly cooled down and came to you for affection and forgiveness. He looked down at you, seeing how you smiled up at him with utter love in your eyes. He remembered teaching you to shoot. He remembered Papa telling him off. When Lizard argued it was so you could protect yourself, papa had said it was up to Lizard to protect you. Even today he believed that. He ducked his head to kiss you quickly. But a quick kiss turned into a long and passionate one that had you both grasping for each other. “Lock the door.” He breathed. You giggled as you ran to the door and locked the top lock before darting back into Lizards arms. You had a few things you could certainly teach him right now.
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loveraids · 6 years
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advice for incoming freshmen
hey guys! here’s a list of some tips i made for incoming freshmen. i thought i’d share some advice/knowledge i’ve accumulated over the years too. everything’s under the cut. if you have any questions/concerns, feel free to message me! ☀️ (tw: long post)
1. one of the biggest fears many people have entering high school is not making friends. however, there are MANY opportunities where you can make friends! besides being friendly with who you sit with in class, try joining a sport, club, extra curricular, etc. i’m not saying making friends is the easiest thing in the world- i still struggle with it today. but don’t put yourself down if you’re not immediately friends with everyone in the school in the first week- it’ll take some time to develop. remember that everyone else is just as scared as you are, and they aren’t gonna come out of their shells until you do as well.
2. depending on your school, they may start throwing college shit at u on day one (although unlikely). no matter what, don’t stress right now!! the college process really doesn’t begin until the weeks leading up to the summer of junior year. you have time!! it’s ok to not know what you want to do. college has an “undecided” major for a reason.
3. V O L U N T E E R. i cannot stress this enough. it has soso many benefits and freshman year will most likely be the most time-free year you have. find a position at your local zoo, library, camp, hospital, etc. it’s a great resume booster and can aid you in the college application process (additionally, if you have an honors society that requires volunteer hours, you’ll need them anyways). also, you get to help people !
4. freshman year is going to teach you what real high school work is. you may struggle, and it’s ok! i was one of the “bright” kids that had their grades drop once i entered high school, and yeah, it did a lot to my self esteem. but throughout the years i picked myself up- i embraced help from my peers/teachers, i figured out what method of studying works best (pro tip: studying for math? look over the basic rules and do thousands of practice problems. science that isn’t math based? quizlet and khan academy. history? quizlet.), i learned that it’s OK to get a grade under a 90/A-. it’s going to seem tough at first, but just remember that you’re adjusting to a completely new environment and work ethic. you will get through it!! please shoot me an ask if you ever need help i’ll always answer. (edit: also do ur homework!!! it could be the difference between a B+ and an A-.)
5. imagine the crustiest person in your grade right now. now imagine them trying to hit on a kid that’s four years younger than you. gross, right? that’s exactly what a senior hitting on a freshman is like!! do not do that shit!!! there is NO reason why a senior should be trying to hook up with you when they’re 17-18 and you’re 14-15. that shit is NASTY. do NOT date seniors (even juniors are sketchy).
6. high school is where you will probably encounter alcohol/drugs/sex/etc at some point. do not be pressured!! if you don’t wanna smoke or drink then don’t do it (if you’re with the type of people who pressure, you better run). ive personally never had an experience where i was pressured, and people were usually respectful, but i can’t speak the same for everyone else. wanna get fucked up and party with your friends? be careful! i’m not promoting underage drinking but lets be honest a lot of kids do it. no sense in trying to pretend like that isn’t the real world. if you’re invited to some party by someone you KNOW has a bad rep, then don’t go!! you’ll have more opportunities.
7. if you’re worried about SATs/college admissions exams, you have a year. kids in my school are kinda crazy and were studying freshman year which made NO sense to me. end of sophomore year/beginning of junior year is usually adequate (plus- the main rule with SATs/ACTs is that you should take the test NO MORE than three times- that’s three chances!! i personally did well on my SAT, so if u have any questions feel free to ask me.
8. back to the point of pressure - if you’re going to a gifted and talented program/school, you will most likely feel academic pressure. with so many bright and smart peers, your standards will end up being much higher than the general population. i’m speaking from experience.
9. student government is usually a popularity contest. if you don’t win, don’t beat yourself up. if you do, congrats!
10. take pictures! save holiday cards! make memories!! i sincerely regret not taking photos (with me in them!!) during my freshman and sophomore years. there are a lot of great memories that i didn’t record because i was too embarrassed to get in front of a camera. i’ve learned that i’d rather cringe at a photo i look bad in in the privacy of my own phone, rather than not have a picture at all.
11. start developing good studying habits right away. what motivated me was getting cute/colorful pens, highlighters, erasers, post-its, etc., and making my notes look really pretty. i have my own personal post-it collection now. if you find ways to make studying even remotely fun/interesting, it will be extremely beneficial in the long run. i remember the summer before my junior year, i was excited to go back literally because i wanted to use my new pens.
12. this is a future piece of advice, but i would say there’s a 99% chance that you will be friends with mostly different people by senior year. you might have a core few, or a bestie, but myself and many others know that there are people who we were best friends with freshman year that don’t say hi to us in the halls senior year.
13. listen, there are gonna be some snake ass bitches. there’s no avoiding it. just don’t pay attention to them!! they get off on thinking they’re better than you. the best way to no longer deal with someone you don’t like is to just not associate with them. i’m obviously over simplifying these situations, but its usually not that deep. if it’s to the point where it’s causing you a great amount of stress, then it may be something you need to talk to a guidance counselor about.
14. please. do. not. run. and scream. in. the. halls. who do u think u are?? it’s 8 AM i don’t want to hear your screeching voice as you run into 7 people!!!!!
15. the freshmen are usually the joke of the school. you’ll hear you guys referred to as gremlins in some way, shape, or form. just deal with it, you’ll understand when you’re no longer freshmen (unless someone’s being unnecessarily mean!!).
16. make friends with your teachers!!!!!!!!! stay after class to have a little conversation with them. email them after school. bring them gifts on major holidays. IT WILL PAY OFF. letters of recommendation? done! need a teacher to sign off on something? done! minorly messed up in class? they’ll let it go bc they like you! this will also probably result in an increase in your character/participation grades.
17. make a travel pack that you keep in your bag - a few small bills,  pads/tampons (for those who need), pen, pencil, bobby pins, nail file, hair elastic, gum/mints, small perfume, band-aids, charger, etc.
18. thrift books sells books for really cheap!! also, ALWAYS check other places before ordering from normal bookstores (i’m looking at u barnes & noble)- they’re most likely cheaper.
19. i’m not gonna be one of those people who is like “school is the best!! it can be great for anyone if you just try!!” bc that shit aint true. it might suck ass for some of you. just know that high school isn’t your life. some people act like your life ends after high school. we’re 14-18 years old and still have so much to learn and see. if you set up a countdown to the end of high school your first day of freshman year, so be it.
20. your teachers are people too. they’re not there for you to use and abuse. they have families, problems, LIVES. they also have 3289472 students besides yourself, and assuming they should put you above the rest will only end up in disappointment.
21. social media is not all that matters. esp in this day and age, people will definitely be using snapchat and instagram (and hey! tumblr too). but don’t think you need social media to fit in. one of the most popular girls in my school literally made her instagram just the other day. to reiterate: it’s not that deep!!
22. you’re gonna change a lot (which is ok!!). freshman year i only wore hot topic and watched supernatural & doctor who. now, i just watch cooking vids and fawn over shawn mendes. it’s ok to change!! even just though freshman year you’ll change. i know i got like. super gay
23. if you find yourself having free time (or having study hall), do your homework!!! once you get home you’ll probably get distracted/lazy. what i used to do was go to my local library after school and get all my homework done so that i wouldn’t leave my school mindset and not wanna do anything. even if you don’t get everything done, you’ll thank yourself later.
24. there’s a difference between “forming your own opinion” on someone and completely ignoring their reputation/what your friends say. i can’t tell you how many people have gotten burned by the SAME guy in my school because none of them even kept in mind the warnings they had heard about him. it’s ok to give people a chance, but remember that most people’s reputations hold some truth (but not everyone!).
25. this seems pretty obvious but like. be nice. don’t talk mad shit about people you don’t know. rumors fly FAST in high school. what’s even worse is when they’re not true. fact check your shit if you ARE gonna gossip.
26. ok last point (for now). everything is gonna be new. there’s no getting around it. you WILL feel out of place. you’ll most likely be anxious. but everything will end up ok (cheesy, i know). the first week of high school is one the scariest weeks you’ll have in high school. things need time to settle. you’ll make friends, you’ll find things you like, you’ll be happy!! enter high school with a growth mindset. it may not seem like it, but your attitude WILL impact how things turn out.
overall, you guys will be fine. good luck to all of you !! if you have any questions or need advice on a specific thing, please feel free to send me an ask!! i’m always here. love u bbies
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sinfulcries2 · 6 years
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milkshake boy ; cai xukun
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hello everyone! its my first REAL post sooo ive been watching idol producer lately and i fell inlove with cai xukun omg he is more beautiful than me anyways i hope you enjoy!
after a long day at school, you decide to get a milkshake and meet your future boyfriend
GENRE: fluff
WARNINGS: uhmm... sudden heart attack ^__^;
okay lets us prepare our hearts for this xukun imagines hdjwxbcje.
you were just a normal college student who took the course of performing arts and yOU WERE REALLY GOOD AT IT.
some companies scouted you but you rejected them all because you knew that you wouldnt have time for training because of school
if that aint me lmAO
anYWAYS
so one day your dance teacher taught a few moves that were new to you and your classmates so you had difficulties learning them.
whats worse is that your teacher assigned all of you and your classmates to create a dance with those moves in it.
and you were like ‘bITCH WTF ARE YOU SERIOUS MS.ZHOU??’
and it was like she read your mind and said “oH YES”
so you were determined to make the most creative and unique dance
class originally ended at 3:30 p.m but you stayed at the practice room dancing until 8:55 p.m
hOW HARDWORKING I CAN NEVER RELATE-
so you danced, and danced until you got the move right 
but like you kept messing up at one particular part.
at the middle of dancing, ms.zhou did a check on why the hell there was music coming from the practice room sO LATE AT NIGHT
to her surprise she saw you there working yourself out to the bone.
so she ran up to you and stopped you from dancing further.
“you need some rest y/n!!”
“no need-”
“yOU NEED REsT gO bAcK hOMe aNd sLeEp”
“yES MAAM’
so while you were walking home
and by walking i mean literally dragging yourself along the street with your school bag by your shoulder
you saw a milkshake shop not so far from where you were
and since you didnt have any water in your jug left, you decided why not buy some water from there.
so you walked and walked until you reached the shop
you entered the shop to get greeted by this hELLA ATTRACTIVE BOY
and you were like ‘omg i smell like sweat what do i do omg can i just shoot me he looks like full course meal iN a good way-’
and he shot you a bright smile
you swore your heart was beating 173600237 times per second
aND HE WAS THERE SMILING LIKE HE WAS ENJOYING YOUR PAIN
so you walked up to the counter
and he gave you a warm greeting
“hI WELCOME TO CHINLI’S”
im joking
“Hi welcome to idol projuicer, my name is xukun! what can i get for you?”
and you being distracted by his ethereal beauty you blurted out
“o-one strawberry milkshake”
because that was your favorite flavor
but you remembered that you had to buy water
tOO LATE THE RECIPT IS BEING PRINTED OUT 
so you pay for your drink and find a seat in the shop
after you find a seat you take a seat and scroll on your phone for a bit
sUDDENLY YOU HEAR A VOICE BEHIND YOU
“miss here is your strawberry milkshake”
and turns out its xukun dude who is also your waiter!
he flashes you a smile and puts the shake on your table
but you noticed he put chocolate ice cream on top with chocolate syrup!
so basically its now strawberry and chocolate
wHICH IS LIKE YOUR SECOND FAVORITE SHAKE FLAVOR
im sorry if it isnt omg 
so you unintentionally smiled and drank your shake happily.
xukun caught you smiling and he smiled too
he also swore his heart started beating 30572921637 times per second
see how theres more numbers
anyways the next day after school, you decided to go to that milkshake shop again
because of xukun and his shakes
mainly because of xukun
but anyways everytime you visited he would put some more add-ons on every shake you order.
the two of you got closer in just the span of a week
how?
one day you were craving his amazing milkshakes so you went there
and then while you were drinking, xukun walked up to you and built up a conversation
and the two of you cLICKED
why did he strike a convo?
he likes you mwahahaha
anyways aside from that in the span of two weeks
he gave you the nickname ‘beautiful loyal customer’
the owner of the shop, Mr.Zhang started to treat you as if you were his own daughter lol
the other staff, ziyi, justin, chengcheng, treated you as if you were their sister.
and best of all, xukun!gave!you!his!number!
and you became a squeeling dolphin when you got home
to the point your mom thought you were secretly a dolphin hybrid
one day while you and xukun were having a dinner date at the shop,
you remembered the dance you had to do
and the fact it was two days away made you scared af
so you excused yourself
sO LIKE YOU KNOW THAT DRAMATIC KDRAMA HAND GRAB?
THAT HAPPENED
he asked why you were leaving so early because it was unusual of you
so you told him “dance.learn.2 days”
he seemed to understand and he smiled at you
“i will help you”
and it was unusual because he didnt tell you he was also a dancer??
but you agreed anyways
so when the two of you reached the studio,
you played the music and started to dance to the song
xukun had heart eyes while watching you but also seemed to learn the moves quickly just by looking at it
so he noticed the moves you were messing up at and he taught you a few techniques and shit that would make you remember it and do it properly.
so after a while of teaching, he asked you to dance again but this time to apply the stuff he taught you
so you danced with the stuff he taught you
and when the song ended you heard xukun clap like a proud mom seal hybrid
and you also couldnt believe it because when you looked at your phone the song was done playing!
cONGRATS
so you ran up to xukun and hugged him tightly
and xukun was sHOOK  and you realized what you did and you pulled away awkwardly the two of yoiu being tomatoes.
but he broke the awkwardness and pulled out a mango milkshake out from his bag.
“yOU DID IT BEAUTIFUL LOYalL Y/N!!”
and the two of you would end up being a giggling mess
fastforward to the day of your presentation....
you got the second highest grade
zhengting being the first
but you were happy with your grade
soo when you went out of your school you saw xukun there waiting for you.
and you were like wtf why is he here
but he smiles only
“y/NNN i wANNA TAKE YOU TO THE MILKSHAKE SHOP AGAIN TO CELEBRATE!!”
and you giggled at his cuteness
so while the two of you were walking there and the two of you talking about life
he would lace his hand with yours
and you would be a CHERRY BOMB
and he would be there smiling widely while admiring your beautiful, flustered face
so once the two of you arrive at the shop
you would see that it was closed, but there were flower petals everywhere you would be so dumbfounded when you hear the song with the lyrics only being ‘balance’
and you hear someone with the voice of Mr.Zhang mutter a loud “cRAP WRONG SONG”
and after that a ballad love song would play
xukun would whisper a short ‘aish, mr.zhang’ but you would only giggle 
sooooo xukun would face you again and grab the both of your hands gently
he would be so nervous and shy omg pls save him
and he would blurt out
“uHMM Y/N IVE LIKED YOU FOR A LONG TIME NOW PLS DONT REJECT ME OMG IF YOU DONT LIKE ME BACK AT LEAST KISS ME OR SOMETHING IDK”
and you would only giggle and peck him on the lips
“ i like you too, my milkshake boy” you say and hug him tightly
he would grab your waist and kiss you LONGER
the two of you smiling into the kiss
when the two of you pulled away
xukun would give you a strawberry chocolate milkshake like when you first met each other
you would smile remembering the both of your first encounters and chuckle slightly.
xukun’s heart would go dugeun dugeun dugeun seeing your smile
and he would ask.......
“would you be my girlfriend?”
“yes of course”
“oUR MILKSHAKE BOY HAS FOUND HIS MILKSHAKE GIRL”
thats probably ziyi
everyone would cheer
and suddenly justin comes out of nowhere and plays careless whisper
while the two of you hold hands enjoying each others pressence
OMG IM DONE THIS TOOK ME 4 HOURS TO MAKE OML ANYWAYS HOPED YOU ENJOYED LOVELIES!
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