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ririblogsss · 22 days

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Damian and the strays

ok look we all know the de aged dani (Danny and Dan). But what if we have siblings/ triplets, and I mean what if we take them all the same age (15/16) and make them into the most powerful trio in school . I mean you have 3 good looking individuals all siblings and in the same way, they all excel in different things (Dan-world history, Dani/Ellie- science Sports, Danny physics), but they are all so easy going and charming plus they are all jacked af.

Like tell me if i'm wrong but they would be beloved maybe popular on the downlow until they do something only fentons would risk doing. For example, orchestrating that every monday at 12:30 am the fire alarms would start and lunch would be extended for an hour more. No one can prove it, but none of them have doubts either. The triplets have their own groups but they mainly hang out with each other if you see one the other 2 are close by.

Anyways i'm thinking that one day they will actually see why the Fenton siblings are observed closely by the teacher and try to make sure they don't cause mayhem. One guy, a chad of sorts, decided he wanted to pick a fight with Dante, the more violent of the siblings. Chad didn't even finish his first insult before he was slammed through the door by Danny, who was arguably the pacifist of the 3. But the student body kind of got it. The thing is no one expected Dani (preferred name Ellie) to freaking pummel the guy.

No one saw them at school again.

It went on like this: the trio would move to one school.Would play pranks on the administration and have fun. Then someone would try something on one of them and the other 2 would pummel the person into the ground. The next day they would be gone never to return. They became an urban legend in some of the schools.

Until they came to Gotham Academy when they tried their pranks a kid would come and stop them. It was getting on their nerves. All their freaking plans down the drain all because of a snobby brat that didn't know how to mind his own. Eventually they start pranking the kid instead of the school as a revenge for ruining their fun. This leads to an all out prank war between all 4 of them (Dan backstabbed Danny and Ellie first they just followed the lead).

Soon enough the 3 of them became friends with Damian (they learned his name 4 weeks after the prank war started). The school body was half convinced that Damian and the triplets were actually long lost siblings. I mean they all have black hair, anger issues and green bluish eyes. Damian knew for a fact that he wasn't related to the Fentons; a DNA test concluded this. But that didn't mean that Damian didn't perceive the triplets as family.

Damian concludes that even if they aren't adopted into the family the Fentons belong. So that's why one day Damian brings Ellie, Danny and Dante to the family reunion. Where every relative and not so relative is there. Damian is showing them around, pointing at things around the house as a mini tour, and people are starting to notice that there are 3 new faces that they have never seen before.

there are whispers like: ‘really?! AGAIN?!?’ or “WOW im gone for 5 days and he got 3 more” and even ‘Damn so black hair, teen and probably sad backstory is the type’

The triplets looked at eachother looked at Damian and smiled like starved piranhas that have just been served a pound of meat and are ready to devore. Damian reflects it with his own devilish smile.

So all four of them start saying things out of context such as:

“I'm so glad to be here now”

“Yeah same we wouldn't have survived that hell of a chamber without you Dames”

“As long as we're no longer hunted for merely existing I don't mind staying for a while”

“Good things there weren't any actual bazookas that could have gone worse”

All four knew that out of context it seemed like the 3 siblings had been hunted and captured by some unknown person and Damian had rescued them and brought them home, but in reality they were just talking about the past paintball match they had earlier that morning.

So Bruce wanted to know some more but the rhetorical bullet, and asked “Damian… who, who are these kids” Damian proceeded to scoff and say “Why our new family members, truly father, are you incompetent. This is a family reunion hence only family or perceived family is invited” Damian tried to channel his inner 10 year old self whilst trying not to laugh. Danny and Ellie were on the same boat except they made their faces look devastated with tears in their eyes and everything looked pitiful, but on the inside they were laughing their asses off. Dante feigned indifference but he had teary eyes, from trying to stop himself from hitting the floor laughing at the devastated faces around.

Danny played his act up clearing his throat “we- we can leave if I mean we didn't know, yeah Dami said it was fine but we understand” he purposely made his voice crack to show how ‘hurt’ he was.

Ellie made herself look small so she could seem self conscious and uncomfortable with the situation.

Dante solidified them with the small sniffles he let out every few seconds.

Damian was looking to the ground to avoid being read, because right now he was shaking from laughter, and it would be clear in his face but if he angled himself right (which he did) it looked like he was silently sobbing. Danny put his arm around his shoulder, also looking towards the ground, also shaking from laughter. Dante and Ellie joined in. From an outside perspective it looked like they were extremely upset not being able to be family.

Bruce panicked seeing his younger child and 3 other kids the same age all begin to cry he just blurted out “NO no that not what i meant Damian I ment their names what are their names, and does Babs have to get involved so we can have documentation”

Damian cleared his tears and looked up at his father trying not to smirk “He is Dante, that one is Dani with an I but she prefers Ellie and that lanky one is Danny” Bruce nodded and went out the room to see if he could get started on the documents.

Once Bruce was out of the room all 4 of them burst out laughing, falling into a pile some were heard wheezing, others having maniacal laughter.

Once they finally stopped and looked at the rest of the family all four of them eerily said “he won't ever believe you” And everyone in the room shuddered. This quartet was going to bring wayyyy too much mischief into the family.

(if you're wondering where jazz is. She's in college living her best life. I mean she is a highly independent person she thrives of off living alone with a clear schedule set)

—

Also i didn't put any specific names for the previous schools or the family members bc I thought it would be better for u guys to decide who witnessed the beginning of the end.

#dc x dp #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #dpxdc #dc x dp crossover #Damian only started this #as a way to stop the triplets from becoming rouges #The tripplets love chaos #Im 100% sure Bruce will absolutely do everything in his power to avoid heart felt convos #Cass was there and and knew abt the act but didn't say anything. She's taking them to the theater to see heathers

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giamee · 10 months

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𝐅𝐀𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔!

ཐི♡ཋྀ featuring -> luocha, blade, dan heng, jing yuan, gepard landau, welt yang

ཐི♡ཋྀ contains -> soulmate!au, no warnings just fluff (?) and maybe a bit suggestive for welt. ALSO LUOCHA'S IS SO ANGSTY AND FOR WHAT IDK IM SORRY

ཐི♡ཋྀ gia's notes -> ok so you know that soulmate au thing where the moles on ur body are where ur lover in a past life kissed you the most? yeah. i opened star rail for the first time in like 2 weeks today cos i rage quit after getting silver wolf while trying to build pity for luocha and then i did the story quest thingy and brainrot happened. sorry for being gone for so long. have this <3 (ppl who requested stuff two months ago i see you i hear you i'm just a slow writer)

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ LUOCHA has a particularly noticeable mole on the right side of his neck. with his high collar and serious expression, that remains another guarded secret of his that is privy to only his own searching eyes, a secret that raises colour in his cheeks at the insinuation of its placement.

having spent more time around the dead than the living these past few months, love and human connection is not exactly an occurence that can happen naturally within his profession.

and for the most part, that's alright.

yet there are some lonely nights where luocha finds his gloved fingertips grazing the dark spot on his neck, wishing that he could be graced with the same tenderness in this life that he had received in his previous one. if he closed his eyes and concentrated hard enough, he could almost feel the ghostly brush of a pair of lips against his cool skin, the feathery sensation sending a soft shiver down his spine, accompanied by the distant giggle of a past lover in his ear before it slips his grasp and he rolls onto his side in frustration.

that damned spot might as well be placed directly over his heart, considering the amount of influence it held over him.

he could only hope that his dreams tonight would reunite him with the figure that haunts his conscious mind too now, and continue his fruitless search to find them once again in his waking realm.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ BLADE has moles on his chest and back littered amidst the scars that mar his porcelain skin. always a skeptic, the man has never been one to believe in the fanciful stories of soulmates destined to be, sneering in the face of such notions as fate, preferring to keep his head resolutely on his shoulders and feet planted on the ground.

and in some sense, he's right.

because when he met you, in this current life, you joined him in his rejection of a perfect other half. and then, slowly but surely, you had wormed your way into his heart, and his insistence on not having any such thing as a soulmate seems like such a flimsy rebuttal to the way you gaze at him in adoration, fingers trailing in your lips' wake as they brush over each individual mark on his chest.

he tries not to shiver when he feels your warm lips descend upon the skin of his back, your fingers tracing the faded marks that depict his life story with a silent promise that you'll be there for him, and to count every mark on his skin with tender care.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ DAN HENG often finds himself staring in wonder at the moles which litter his arms. starting from his wrists, there is a dusting of them that creeps all the way up to his shoulders, placed upon his skin with such deliberate care that it's almost a foreign concept to him.

in the later hours of the night, he allows himself to muse over the possibility of a soulmate, a lover in a past life destined to find him again, trying to solve the mystery of their identity by peering at his arms as if their face is etched into them.

and when he meets you, he feels breathless all over again as your hands interlink with his own, clasping them so fervently that lightning practically runs up his spine as your lips reunite with his skin, once again staking their claim as you make your way from his wrists to the rest of his body.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ JING YUAN bears his mark with pride, the distinct spot residing comfortly underneath his eye, attracting his attention to it every time he paises to study his reflection.

he wouldn't call himself a vain man, so he appraises that one mole before continuing on with his day, but it's not until you have his face cupped in your palms, and your eyes study his features with an intensity he had not felt until now, that you mention that he has two other moles on his face, albeit fainter.

and you make a point of reaffirming their existence at every chance you get, with you and jing yuan's morning routine involving your lips brushing against the faint mole on the apple of his cheek and bridge of his nose before landing a last one underneath his eye.

those only serve as a mere guidline, though, as you do not hesitate to pepper the rest of his unblemished face with kisses as your symbol of affection.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ GEPARD does not know what to think of the moles that litter his collarbones. they're rather prominent, and if he lets himself think about them for too long, he'll start blushing.

even the thought of someone kissing him there makes his brain short circuit, so the sensation is definitely one that he will have to get used to with you.

the slightly sadistic part of you revels in the way his blushing face hides itself behind his hands when you kiss him on those marks, a muffled boyish giggle escaping his lips at the ticklish sensation of your lashes brushing against his skin when you lay your head against his chest.

you decide to place a few additional marks for his next life when you kiss the backs of his hands, until your lover relents and reveals his face to you once more, letting you place a final tender kiss to his lips.

☆⋆｡𖦹°‧★ WELT finds the little triangle of moles on his hipbone more humorous than anything. there's a certain intimacy to their placement that surpasses the more innocent and easily visible marks a person may have been granted by their soulmate, and he fonds himself wondering what kind of person his soulmate is for there to be the most frequent place they kiss.

and it's a pleasant surprise, really, as to how right it feels when you see those marks yourself and giggle, continuing their tradition by dropping a kiss to each in quick succession before grinning up at him with a smile so endearing that welt finds himself desperately committing the scene to memory.

𓏲 ࣪₊♡𓂃 IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY: bound 2 fall in love!

honkai star rail masterlist ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

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tradetobest · 4 months

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dee's january 2024 fic recs

ok so. i thought i'd do a fic rec list every month this year of just my favourite fics that got bookmarked in the month (not necessarily written in the past month) that had just passed... i was a bit busy for the past few days but FINALLY i got the chance to sit down so!!

(if you want to play fic roulette here's some blind links otherwise!! enjoy under the cut

1 2 3 4 5 6)

3:30 by sevenfists

pairing: sidney crosby/evgeni malkin rating: E words: 11k summary: Napping with Sid would be inconvenient, embarrassing, and more than a little gay, and maybe Zhenya was a little gay, but he didn’t need to advertise it.

i LOVE "oh this thing we do together has become a routine now we Have to do it before games" fics and you should too!! this one is So cute i love it....

waiting for confessions of love by catchingpapermoons

pairing: jamie drysdale/trevor zegras/mason mctavish rating: M words: 41k summary: “I’ll be so real with you, man,” Trevor says, pulling back. “I had no fucking idea you liked dudes.”

one thing about me is that i am an absolute sucker for miscommunication and will love it at all costs and this fic DELIVERS!!!! and so well!!

high into the blue by idday

pairing: jack eichel/connor mcdavid rating: T words: 10k summary: Lieutenant John Eichel of the United States Navy – Boston to his squadron and Jack to the people who matter – is reckless and cocky and too smug for his own damn good. But even Connor has to admit that the boy can goddamn fly. (Captain Connor McDavid, Royal Canadian Air Force, is by the book in the worst way, conservative and careful and liable to get himself killed out there. Jack shouldn’t be impressed by him. He really shouldn’t.)

when i tell you i SCREAMED when i got the notif for this fic and then immediately went and watched top gun.,.... if you know me you know anything idday puts out i literally eat up like mceichel is the only thing that will ever sustain me ever again and this was NO exception,,,, always a pleasure to be able to experience an idday fic is what i say

play your heart out by ribena

pairing: leon draisaitl/connor mcdavid rating: M words: 4k summary: Connor loses his heart. Leon finds it for the both of them.

oughh./.. ouhhh.... what even to say.... clutches my heart (lol)...... beautiful..... i literally screamed cried went through it..... please read like literally begs you

nobody wins afraid of losing by adelphenium

pairing: tyler bertuzzi/dylan larkin rating: E words: 12k summary: It’s been almost a year since the first trade. It’s been just a few weeks since they last saw each other, facing off on the ice here in Toronto. In all the months since the Boston run, Tyler’s done nothing but read Dylan’s texts from the notifications bar like a sad and filthy sack of shit, too weak not to feel a thrill whenever a Saw that goal, what a beauty berts or a Hope you’re sleeping ok came through. Or: Tyler and Dylan during the 2024 bye week.

"hey you bookmarked this one on december 31st" IM PUTTING IT IN JANUARY!!!!! PLEASE READ THIS FIC!!!!! not only did jamie adelphenium write it but its just. it has shaped the way i view tyler bertuzzi and sparked a love for mr hockey butt himself..... what a good fic yall please read

reserve your ardors by wrightsworth

pairing: jamie benn/tyler seguin rating: E words: 9k summary: Jamie was in over his head. He had been out of his depth for months if he was being honest, ever since he picked Seggy up from the airport that first time in the humid Dallas air and his Omega genes decided to make themselves known, and loudly.

it wouldnt be me without some good old bennguin and RAHH pining and omegaverse and unrequited-requited and miscommunication like what else could you want in a fic its so good

#fic recs

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hourcat · 1 year

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Hii phoebe!! sorry to have another piarles breakdown in your inbox but imagine power rangers piarles au

where charles is a DISASTER magnet, who's always at the worst place at the worst time (he's still a ferrari f1 driver) and pierre is the red power ranger who keeps having to save him (while eventually also falling in love)

maybe arthur is the yellow power ranger or something so charles gets introduced to pierre as pierre (I'm trying so hard not to make this like peter & mj but fail) (the rest of the power rangers can be anyone from the grid)

anyways they're both idiots in love with each other, but they're idiots so neither of them make a move until the bad guys figure out charles must mean something special to the rangers because he happens to be at like 3/8 of the crime scenes and red ranger is actually tender with him in a way he isn't with anyone else, they think charles can be the rangers weakness

fast forward a few weeks, the bad guys have finally figured out a plan of attack, that they'll leverage charles for the jewel of power or whatever and they plan to carry it out at some ferrari event in Italy EXCEPT pierre (and arthur) are already there. not as rangers but just as the charles leclerc support squad. and they both fight dirty but somehow thwart the bad guys plan anyways and then it's just the three of them in an empty building and they end up revealing their identities to charles and when charles calms himself down enough to not kill his baby bro (who sheepishly takes his leave and runs the hell away from there but not before giving a suggestive wink towards them both and pierre makes a reminder to give him the worst tasks from now on because that little shit.)

then it's just pierre and charles and charles and pierre and charles comes and stands so close to pierre that their toes are touching and he looks furious but also so concerned and a little worried and maybe even hurt and it looks like he's about to either slap pierre or kiss him and pierre can't decide when charles snatches him by his collar and their mouths collide but since they're both idiots they lose their balance and fall on top of each other before bursting into hysterical laughter that turns a little too emotional and charles says the deepest, most emotional poetic thing pierre has ever heard in his life with that teary look in his eyes and pierre is like "fuck I am in love KISS KISS KISS"

anyways they become boyfriends after that and nobody ever let's them live it down especially arthur

(I am sorry for yet another piarles breakdown but you and katie indulge me so much and I am spoiled, thank you for being some of the most amazing piarlies ever)

KSBSKDNSHDBKDKD ANON IM LITERALLY GOING TO KISS YOU SO HARD

first things first. oh my god. never apologize ever. i feed off of people having piarles breakdowns it is my LIFE BLOOD please ALWAYS come tell me every piarles thought you have always im so serious this goes for every single one of you

secondly, baby are you kidding me. are you KIDDING ME. area woman who never got over power rangers (2017, dir. dean israelite) IS GOING TO START EATING HER ARM ABOUT THIS

ok deep breaths. literally this is so sososososososo so good im gonna die. like?!?!?!? charles being a disaster magnet just feels right (in the green lantern au that lives vaguely in my head that is exactly how he is too so 🤝🤝) and pierre being the one to constantly rescue him is soooo. Yeah. arthur makes fun of him so much for being the Knight In Shining (Red) Armor and pierre is like "i dont care if we both have ranger strength. i am going to kick your god damn ass." arthur just laughs bc pierre would never, he's too fond of the leclercs no matter how annoying they are.

BAD GUYS TAKING NOTICE OF PIERRE'S AFFECTIONS FOR CHARLESSSSSS AJDBSGHDKDNDKFKA yeah. yes. yes bc its so obvious of COURSE the red ranger has a weakness. of course. everyone can see it. EVEN CHARLES KNOWS. he tells pierre sometimes he has a thing for the red ranger and it makes pierre insane every single time. like he has to repeatedly Take A Walk and charles thinks it's bc he hates the idea of the power rangers but in actuality it's "he can't see me get maybe turned on by this so i have to get out of here"

also also also. oh god. oh my god. charles after he finds out the red ranger is pierre?!?!? would be so worried immediately after the battle bc pierre is bloodied and beaten a little, mostly okay but also definitely a lil fucked up. he's touching pierre's face, are you okay, pierre, you could've fucking died--and that devolves into the How Could You Not Tell Me and he starts to get mad and pierre just. is so relieved charles is ok and he knows that he just grabs charles to pull him close for a hug, but charles has other plans and kisses him instead. and he's like oh yeah you do have a crush on the red ranger don't you🤭😏 and charles is like "you're actually the worst person in the world bar none"

ANYWAY @cerona14 BESTIE. COME LOOK. PIARLES PR AU

#had to tag cerona bc i KNOW this has been discussed in passing at some point #anon i love you sm thank you for gracing us w this GORGEOUS AU #AU tag #10 x 16 #ask reply #Anonymous

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celestie0 · 2 months

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IT’S CELESTIEFAN3000 i have to say i like tumblr way more than ao3 so i’ll be using this to comment from now on 😋 But i would like to personally thank you for writing chapter 9, your author voice is genuinely so appealing and HONESTLY you could pass off as a literal professional author if I didn’t know this was fanfiction!

Now for the uglier feelings: (please ignore typos or other mistakes i wrote a lot. I am very normal about kickoff, obviously)

I SOBBED LIKE A BABY MIDWAY AND BECAME A CRYING SOUND EFFECT AT THE END OK OK OKAYYYYYYY 😭😭💫💫 I’m still dizzy and lightheaded from the effect ur writing gives me (THIS IS A GOOD THING) it’s so addicting i need more😭‼️ UGHHHH the way you build that exact RIGHT amount of comfort to compensate for the suffering you’ve but us through but still managed to EDGE US AT THE END . I WISH YOU WEREN’T SO GOOD AT THIS FANFICTION THING, BECAUSE DAMN! 😭😭😭😭

The scenes were so fucking beautiful, I love the peaceful atmosphere that rain gives and how you were able to contrast that as an escape from that horrible loud and noisy bar to just a horrible man!!!!! You really know how to direct scenes and i can not express in words how much they mean to me 🥹🥹😭😭😭

I feel like I’ve overused the crying face emoji too much in my ask BUT I ACTUALLY MEAN IT HERE EVERY TIME I can fill an entire glass up of my tears that kickoff caused me to shed alone 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Everything was just great vegetables, this chapter will definitely be haunting me while I sleep but it ended with an amazing scenario to build off of and dream about RIGHT?☺️ Anyway, my last words here are that I admire how you’ve been working on this project for around a couple months now nonstop, but the quality has not dropped and has instead improved despite it getting really tiring the more you carry on with it! Maybe that’s just how I feel about finishing what I’ve started LMAO but it’s so impressive every time I see someone able to pull that off, I’ve seen some fics succumb to the tragedy of “i-just-want-to-get-this-over-with-because-the-concept-no-longer-interests-me-anymore”-ness 😔 BUT WITH KICKOFF! I’m so happy that the author is as passionate about the characters and plot in their fanfiction as I am, and hard work really does pay off! (for the reader, hard work is waiting 3 weeks for a new fic— but the read’s always better the longer you wait 😉)

My ADHD really came out here I deeply apologize but my ACTUAL final words are: I wish I had a bf like gojo, Oh My God You Are A Legend Ellie, You are most deserving person of meeting Gojo Satoru FIRST if he ever comes to life, it is 1am haha so i’m sleeping now ☺️🤍 Celestiefan300 out!

MY SWEET ANGEL BB CELESTIEFAN3000 😭🫶🏼💕💕 HI DEAR

UMM CAN I JUST SAY IM AB TO SOB ALR JUST FROM HOW LONG THIS ASK IS ??? PLS FORGIVE MY URGE TO RESPOND TO EVERY ASPECT OF IT

thank you sm for the compliments on the writinf omg i rly feel comin into my own now n finding my voice as i continue to write more so seeing u say that esp as a long term reader is just ssooo dhddldfk 🥺💕 brb gonna cry

PLS IM SO SORRY FOR THE SAD EMOTIONSS aaa yes the baby steps to build their relationship has been……baby stepping indeed LOL but it was so nice to write the scene at rhe end where gojo comforts her 😭💕 so excited to write lovey dovey gojo now

OMG STOPPP w the nice words i will literally eat u for breakfast🧍🏻‍♀️the contrast w the soothing rain & hectic bar scene 😭 u pointing that out just made me soooo freaking happyy and wahh im so glad the scenes resonate w you :””) <33

ME TOO I FEEL IM HOLDING BACK ALL THE 😭😭😭 WMOJIS I COULD USE READING THIS ASK

awhh thanks darling im so happy kickoff has ur continued interest and AW to hear its improving means sm to me 🥺💕 im so passionate ab it, it has been so cathartic to write, and although its also hard to write sometimes bc of the personal aspects, it’s so joyous to me and i look forward to seeing it thru to the end w the same amt of passion. HAHAHA its hard work to read tho damn 😮‍💨 ur not wrong!! and also yes i too will be daydreaming of what happens next 🤣

my final words: i love u sm, YOU deserve a satoru (but i will gladly have him too if u say so🙈), so blessed to have u as a reader, and please get some good sleep my love <33

eeeeeee 🫶🏼💕

#celestiefan3000 #my love my life #kickoff #asks #anon

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the-100th-witch · 4 months

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so we're going through the process of preparing for moving and we have time but better now than later right?

blugh blugh blugh

(long)

but my mom's a hoarder so she's going manic and yea the stress and all that but like...she's making it a bigger deal than it really is.

She has expired food (that i went through and threw out she was ok with that bc again...expired food) and now she's going through the bathrooms and im pretty damn sure many of her shit is expired in there also. The closets are gonna be a nightmare bc she hoards clothes.

i moved back july 2022 after my friends and i moved out of our apartment and i was coming back to my home town bc of my job (which i am thankful i was living in my mom's place bc early 2023 i was laid off...) but basically yea it was a fight to carve a space for me bc i was moved out for 3 years and holy shit. i would visit and sleep here every so often but yea...

luckily i dont have much on my end (compared when i lived here like...pre moving out 2020 bc i got rid of a lot of things before my move then) but like it's hard to focus on getting my life prepared and on track with all this going on.

im already behind on my goals for January and yea i know thats on me but it's really hard to focus on myself or keep to my habits/begin new habits when my mom is so explosive. Already 2 times today she had mini-freak outs bc she was "missing" something (they were moved and in sight but she get's so frazzled that she just runs around like a chicken with her head cut off). I'm gonna have to just...go somewhere else during the day to get my shit done.

like i know i need to help and i do but i also dont like getting yelled at and listen im not a child anymore. I understand i dont have to live here and im working on that but damn dude...

the estimated time of the house being hopefully done is june/july 2024 (it has to be built) and my goal is to hopefully be moved out by then (and if not by summer 2024 at least some time in 2024) but allowing my mom (and sister) to monopolize my time (and emotional energy from my mom) is gonna really mess me up. Again i know i need to just make boundaries and be disciplined and try not to let other's emotions dictate my emotions and energy but that's what i was trying to start...this fucking year lmao maybe this is a test given by the universe? who the fuck knows.

tomorrow im gonna wake up early and clear out my bathroom (they have to take pictures for insurance or something) so im gonna get that done early in an hour so i can wrap that up and just get the fuck outta the house for the day. Wednesday my sister is taking the day off and helping with the kids stuff here and im deciding if i wanna stay and help or just fuck off. Like the kids stuff wont take long but i think my mom might lose her mind bc in her mind she thinks she needs that (she doesnt the kids are grown and a lot of it has been just sitting). I dont want bail on my sister but im dealing with my mother after the "clean outs" and it's been fucking draining. All day ive been anxious and tired from the clean out of the garage. I havent been sleeping bc of the anxiety (staying up until 2am) and every time i walk out of my room mom comes at me with more anxiety (which i get but im not in the mental place to take on HER anxiety and deal with mine).

i just feel like this all happened all at once and again, better to get it over with than later when the house is ready and they need to sell this house blah blah but damn dude. I was just coming out of a very dark month back in December and i was finally feeling hopeful to start January 2024 and it's hard not to feel like i fumbled it already (it's the third week of January and i got some stuff done but not really) and im allowing myself some grace but it's hard.

#personal #kinda of a rant but more of just getting it out #im tired and achy i hope i sleep tonight...#at the end of the day i need to be more disciplined and not let others sap my energy and take my time but it's hard esp as a people pleaser #im not giving up so if january ends up being a test month thats just how it is it's not over yet #im going bed night!

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anxiousunicorn1124 · 7 months

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ITS A BABY!!!

So I know no one is really reading my blog but it still feels good to type It all out.

Back in March 2023, I had tried getting pregnant by having IUI done. IUI aka insemination. It had failed. My boyfriend and I have been trying for about 2 years with no success. About a month before the IUI, I started seeing a fertility specialist. Given I had PCOS, the doctor prescribed me with metformin. Usually it is prescribed for people with diabetes but can also help with symptoms of PCOS. One big issue with PCOS is infertility or a hard time being able to conceive.

After the IUI failed, I was deeply disappointed. It broke my heart. Just made me feel like something was wrong with me and maybe it just wasn't in the cards for me. Everyone kept saying " stop thinking about it, stop trying, just have fun and when its your time , you'll know" . at first I was like "meh, ok" . I slowly was starting to accept my fate, if I can't get pregnant , there are other options or maybe its just not in the cards. So I kept trying to put it in the back of my mind and just have lots of fun ;) Lots and lots of fun!

Fast forward to October 16th, 2023..

Woke up sick sick sick>_< .. took a covid test and of course was fucking positive.. damn covid got me.. I was home the whole week sick.. kept vomiting every morning on top of annoying cold symptoms.. my boyfriend had also gotten sick with me.. As I kept on puking every morning, I realized my period was late (9/13/23) so Monday 10/23 I decided to take my first pregnancy test and it was POSITIVE! I was in shock and was pacing around the house . it was like 5:30 in the morning. I texted my boyfriend and he was happy and shocked like me!

2 days later I took another test !

At this point , this has to be real! Couple days later, I went to the doctors and they once again confirmed a positive pregnancy test.

then this past Wednesday I got an ultrasound and saw my lil peanut for the first time <3

this is our lil miracle and im forever grateful.

Stay tuned for our journey :)

#infertility #fertility #pregnancy #generation of miracles #tumblr fyp

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actualbird · 2 years

Text

my (semi-filtered) reactions and some (semi-thought-out) thoughts on luke's personal story 4

summary: this was all frigging PHENOMENAL i loved this so so much and im kiiiindaaaa regretting playing luke's first because no way in HELL can any of the others top this for me ajshfvakjhfa.

non-summary full 2k word rundown under the cut

first off, can i just say that mc is SO SO STRONG for living with THIS for what seems to be anywhere from a few days for a few weeks

the fact she strung together an intelligible sentence afterward, shes stronger than i am. i wouldve evaporated on the SPOT. ANYWAY...

mc's dynamic with sphynx and luke is So Entertaining. secret identity trope but the love interest isnt the one with the secret identity, it's the love interest's hilarious (and INSANE?? playing thru this we see a lot of aaron's skills as sphynx and omfg hes just as bad as luke at being OP with investigation and hacking. how does he have time for this while being a surgeon, a father, and a husband???) pseudo-dad.

aaron, internally: hehe, fucking with luke, hehehe :)c

luke, internally: ugh...stop embarrassing me.... >:/

mc, internally and ready to fuckin throw hands: IS THIS GUY BOTHERING U, LUKE? 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

i think luke/mc is so good because both of them are trying so hard to be the other's protector. like, in several luke cards, mc says this outright; she wants to protect luke's smile, luke's happiness. she wants to protect luke wholly. and luke obviously is very protective over her as well. it makes me so so emotional. but also it makes me laugh when employed in less high stakes moments like these jhvaksjhfajk

moving on: luke drives me INSANE. HE MADE HER A RING WHEN THEY WERE KIDS??? HE'S KEPT IT ALL THIS TIME??? THIS IS THE SECOND FRIGGING RING WE'VE BEEN TOLD HE HAS FOR HER I---

on a less lighthearted note: nami hidaki's entire case was brutal holy shit. this was fucked up, i wasnt expecting it to get this dark in a personal story but im pleasantly surprised it did because

1) the tension and suspense this case made was Incredible and i think it was pretty damn well done, in terms of emotional themes and suitably raising the stakes

2) nami's jp va was KILLING IT the entire time holy wow every time she spoke my heart BROKE

and 3) it led to this speech from luke (which came from his colleague):

which is just. oh Man.

i know this bit is succeeded by luke going "and thats why i want to bring light to the world" which tracks, yeah, that fits him 100% percent. but im struck by how this view of justice is so starkly different from artem's speech on justice at the end of post 6.2

my memory is a bit spotty but i rmr artem's core message being "justice Will come, what we do Still matters." meanwhile luke...justice and what he does still matters to him too, but hes very well acquainted with the darkness of the world. much too acquainted with it, even. he says he wants to bring light to the world because of this, but wasnt the entire point of that colleague's spiel about not letting the darkness consume one's self? maybe im overreading (im totally overreading) but luke is a victim as well. not by a criminal (at least not that we know of, yet....whO CONTAMINATED HIS MEDICINE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO?? I WANT ANSWERS!!!) but by life's circumstances. and, well, given the disposition we see from him in the main story 9 pv....i think luke focused so much on bringing light to others that he neglected to stay afloat from the darkness of it all himself

now, a brief commercial break from thoughts. i now need to simp real hard for a bit cuz.

hey, surely, i wasnt the only person who found the auction scene really hot, right? i know luke was just saying numbers, but he did it SO CONFIDENTLY THAT IT WAS HOT. IM NOT ALONE, RIGHT? SOMEBODY ELSE FOUND THAT HOT, RIGHT? PLS

AND THEN ALL THE ACTION-Y BITS

AAAAA lemme just compile all the simping in one go oh god

OK THERE, IM DONE, I MOVE ON

eric li umezaki is so funny. really, luke and mc? right in front of his salad? JAVKJSHFVAKJS

well, i guess it's not his fault that when mc and luke are having a moment, the entire rest of the world just fades out of existence....they are so in love im going to EXPLODE

but really, eric is so funny like.

AND THEN HE JUST DOESNT ASK. NOT NOW, NOT LATER WHEN EVERYTHING IS WRAPPED UP. luke's excuse is absolute bullshit, i know he saw thru that. i mean, how could he Not. luke pearce fuckin made a flash bomb in 5 seconds, disarmed and used a man as a hostage, and stared down an entire police force fearlessly. THATS....LUKE, THATS NOT NORMAL PI STUFF AJHVFKJAHS

but eric was just like ".....well i dont wanna make a dude like this angry and/or suspicious of me, I'LL LEAVE IT" and thats a very wise decision he made HAHA

and now it's time to get sad as hell

the entire scene of helping luke with his wound....

oh my god...

luke: //tries to make it all lighthearted

mc, watching luke be so used to handling his wounds: //RIGHTFULLY BURSTS INTO TEARS

theres just so much to unpack in that scene, i think i screencapped nearly all of it and tumblr's blasted 10 pics per post limit will nerf me so lemme put it in a list

luke didnt react at all stitching his own gash closed without any anesthetic, thus implying his pain tolerance to be high as fuck. so uh. if hes strong enough to not be affected by that....just how fucking painful is his illness??? his illness that always makes him react with pained gasps and him physically doubling over?????? HOW MUCH ARE THEY HURTING MY BOY???????

when luke starts to apologize to mc for making her cry and then the internal monolog line of "You don't want to hear him apologize. You don't want to hear his apologies at all. You try to hold back your tears." just...GOD....this scene is so good at being a heartwrenching picture of realizing someone u love has been going thru so much alone.

me thru tears when luke mentions his parents' accident: PLEASE, IM NOT STRONG ENOUGH....

okay fuck, wait, i have to put the screencap for this next one cuz i dont wanna transcribe it all but

oh my god this KILLED ME

it's a very heroic notion, it's a very Luke notion but also...."Why can't I be the one?" well, did it HAVE to be YOU. luke got caught up in the nsb at 16-17 years old. thats...oh god, please, that is too young to take on the duty he took.

this whole "fuck it, i'll do it myself" concept + the "make a deal with the world" it has such wonderful parallels with the plot of his sott card too. there are no gods to make deals with, he'll be the one to grant your wish. he'll be the one to fight the impossible fights

and all because he just...cares so much. too much.

on a less emo note

it rlly kills me that like, right after, he mentions with a smile on his face that he got locked in the trunk of a car with the big bads intending to kill him out in the countryside. HE SAID THAT WITH A SMILE ON HIS FACE!!! MY MAN, PLEASE, I KNO UR TRYING TO SHOW OFF BUT ALL I WANNA DO IS SWADDLE U IN BUBBLE WRAP AND KEEP U SAFE FROM THE WORLD

and then

as if the heavens had heard every indulgent prayer i sent out irt to romance tropes

they sleep

the

same

bed

CROWD FUCKIN CHEERS!!! CROWD GOES WILD!! CROWD IS SO HAPPY FOR THIS MORSEL OF FLUFF AFTER ALL THAT PAIN YAYYAYAA---

me, reading this, jaw on the floor at how foul of a move this was to pull after tender bed-sharing: this....is my villain origin story

JAKSJHFVAKJHFAS

okay now i ramble about the funny bits in the next portion b4 i jump into Pain, Anguish once more

sphynx/aaron: “I’m just disappointed that the police won’t let me write the script. I could’ve written a much more heroic story, like James Bond” jhvjHVKJHSFVJ omfg aaron drop ur ao3 username. i know uve got one, what with that line. or email me the draft of the action-thriller novel ur writing LMAOOOO

i physically bounced in my seat when i saw luke was in the waiter outfit eeEEEE I LOVE THAT OUTFIT SO MUCH. HIS DORKY LIL SHERLOCK NAMETAG OAUGGHHH

mc and luke: //having a lovey dovey moment alone

sphynx/aaron thru the earpiece: HEY GUYS....IM STILL HERE.....

mc and luke got TWO (2) STRIKES of being lovey dovey mushy in the presence of ppl who would rather not be thirdwheeling, HAHAJHAVKJSHFV

when luke interrupted eric by loading a gun skillfully and with ease........[insert simping emoji here once more]

okay and now......the Pain and Anguish portion

i already mentioned how fucked up nami's case is but holy fuck, it got more fucked up the moment daniel song made that phonecall. hey, uh, i hope mc gets therapy after this. like i REALLY HOPE SHES GOT A GOOD SUPPORT SYSTEM TO RECOVER FROM THIS. lord knows that hearing somebody be TORTURED over the phone is gonna frigging mess her up holy shit, and then all the other stuff too

im so. emotional over mc. honestly, im just as emotional over mc as i am over luke, with this personal story. the bit where luke asks her "Have you decided to go meet Song? Regardless of what I say?" and she answers yes like.....god, nobody else in this game is on her level. SHE is the big damn hero here. in spite of her fear, in spite of her favorite person wanting nothing more than for her to be safe, her dedication to helping and saving people is so strong and pure. she'll always make this choice

and she doesnt give up, not til the end, she helped nami all the way, every second....fuck

and the rescue scene....oh my GOD the RESCUE SCENE.....

KAJI YUKI PERSONALLY WANTED EVERY LUKE STAN DEAD, WITH THE PERFORMANCE HE DID THERE. JESUS CHRIST....the desperation, the ANGUISH, and how he delivered the line "Don't say that! Don't say that now..." my god how am i ever gonna recover from that holy shit

just, in general, the entire lake scene is going to be etched into my brain for forever. that was SO FRIGGING GOOD

and the after bits kept ping-pong-ing me between Extremely Emotional and HAHAHAHAHJHAJHFVAJS

luke rlly spent the entire time at her bedside holding her hand....//SOBS WAILS CRIES

dr xu: luke wouldnt leave ur side the whole time until dr yishmir told him you'd be sad if you woke up and saw him still wearing his wet clothes me: oh wow aaron has a second degree in Making Luke Pearce Listen studies JHVSJDFVJS

i rlly enjoyed aaron's little speech to mc......like, that was a shovel talk of some sorts but adjacent? more of "if you commit to this, it's gonna be hard" and HRGHRHHHH MC IS JUST SO DEDICATED. IT'S FINE. WHATEVER HAPPENS WILL HAPPEN, CHERISH TODAY, CHERISH WHAT WE HAVE NOWWWW

pls....how eric and nami unknowingly let the Cat outta the Bag LMAOOOOO. mc's unimpressed face at both luke and aaron looking GUILTY AJHVFJHFASJ, 5 stars. this was the funniest possible route the sphynx thing couldve come to light; via unaware grateful people

luke: "After we solved Sphynx's first riddle, I contacted Aaron and confirmed that he was Sphynx." me: "contacted" is a funny way of saying that u ambushed him in a parking lot, but ok luke, you do you

and finally

FINALLY

CHECK OUT HOW HARD I CAN CRY PPSSHSHHSHSHSHSHWWWWW!!!!!!

overall: i probably shouldve saved my most fave for last because holy shit this was so good im still reeling from how much i adored it. the pain, the fluff, the funny bits. ALL SO GOOD

also im so ready for anniv card to pick up right where this left off oh god come on, i know anniv card is gonna rip my heart to shreds and put it back together again

okay. thats all my thoughts and reactions for now....for now....

//lies down and thinks about luke pearce emotionally

#tears of themis #luke pearce #tot luke #tot spoilers #most of this is unintelligible. enjoy

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phrootsnacks · 4 months

Text

jjba thursday: part 4 ep 4-6

this week was a little better than last week. I still get so stressed an anxious about everything every day all the time but im starting to get into a rhythm. I like having something to look forward too-- I even made popcorn! yay!

my reactions to these episodes below~

episode 4 - The Nijimura Brothers, Part 2

rip koichi lol

rip the billion brother lol

"the incompetent will hinder the capable without fail... and life is only worth living when it has growth" I did not expect such hard lines this early in the episode wow

oh! interesting scene transition! I like that

josuke chose to save billion bro bc same hair,,, kinda

this abandoned house is now reminding me of smth... maybe a children's hospital... with and interesting design.........

what... the enemy stand is literally a tiny army???? ok.....

what does it say about the politics of jojo's bizarre adventure that the enemy is a highly organized and highly weaponized tiny military (styled after the US army.) combined with this fear of a great evil lurking in this small quiet town...... hmmm..........

koichi's stand can't be much better than freaking hermit purple right. like the logic of the arrow is the badder the person, the stronger the stand. and koichi's a freaking square

egg

wait what just happened. did he use the weapons shining diamond destroyed earlier?? ok,,,

episode 5 - The Nijimura Brothers, Part 3

koichi...... istg

stepped right into that one huh koichi

so. that's their father right

I know the anime is trying to say this creature is terrifying but I think he's kinda cute. in a funny way

oh....

ok but wait. when you shot the criminal guy w the arrow, you just unleashed him on the town to kill josuke. why, if the ultimate goal is just kill your dad

damn. the ideas and themes in this one. familial bonds. cycles of abuse. punitive justice, restorative justice. this is jojo's bizarre adventure

oh shit!

ok so breaking news: I've been watching the dub but this episode im watching the sub and.... do all of the stands reference music that explicitly? and im just not knowledgeable abt it? or is it just red hot chili pepper

damn youre getting sucked into the outlet and the last thing you do is be mean to your lil bro

ok grieve I guess

next enemy stand user is..... tired of working?? dude same but idk how fulfilling it would be to kill jotaro kujo about it

and now they're friends. wow friendship is magic!

episode 6 - Koichi Hirose (Reverb)

koichi....... KOICHI

what is happening. why is it happening.

im still at a loss for words. I- what

a real slippin jimmy. right? wow

or maybe a reigen arataka...

koichi why is your dog's name police

oh my god. what is happening???

dang

ew ew ew gross what the fuck

egg

uhm. what the hell is that???

ok this is an interesting stand. but why does it look like that....

koichi. why does your stand look like that. cicada inspired sure, but why's it got skateboard wheels

what in the world.............

huh

I-- uhm... ok. this truly is a Bizarre Adventure (I hope this con artist guy isn't a recurring character. I generally like con artist characters but not this guy)

ok but this is still left unresolved: did josuke heal billion bro's dad, will jotaro kujo tell josuke about the Red Hot Chili Peppers, and koichi why did you name your dog police. police??? wait is that referencing the band The Police????

next time on jjba thursday: I will miss even more references to 80s bands

#jjba thursday

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sungbeam · 9 months

Note

BESTIE BAEEEEEEEEE

I’m back 🤭🤭🤭

Tbh its been a rough few weeks 💀 ALSO HELP HOW COME EVERY TIME I DISAPPEAR YOU WHIP OUT SO MANY SCRUMPDILIUMPTIOUS FICS LIKE??? Not that I’m complaining tho 😋😋

Firstly, Occupied… hmmm mhmnn yeahh lemme just say that your impulsive thoughts are so valid 😔🙏 buT J E S U S DID YOU HAVE TO PUT MY HEART IN THE CROSSFIRE- I think I had to stare at my ceiling for a bit afterwards cause like damn… I love my man🗿

Secondly, Rhapsody Anonymous… had my kicking my feet as per usual 🙄🙄 and tbh the fact that both parties were valid in their reasoning for not wanting to out each other and tbh I would also be struggling on deciding whether to spill my identity or not 😭😭 but it was saUR SITIEKR CUTE 😭 man I feel like I set myself up each time I read/re-read the love in unity series cause each time they just call me more and more single and alone 😔💔 BUT FRET NOT I WILL USE THIS AS MOTIVATION AND LECTURE NOTES ON HOW TO GET A GOOD MAN 😤‼️

ALSO OMG DID YOU WATCH BARBIE YET??? Ok I think I gotta calm down I’ve been using too many caps 💀 but Lip Gloss is so Barbie too and the MV is literally a bunch of Kens doing Beach and you can’t convince me otherwise 😤☝️

My personal ranking of the album would be:

1. Fantasize

2. Fire Eyes

3. Passion Fruit

4. Lip Gloss

5. Lighthouse

6. Fairy Tale

But I honestly love all of them and I’ve listened to the album non-stopppppp!

Also yesss I did watch the zeneration behind and tell my whyyyyy New and Kevin ATE 🫣

Also the newest lip gloss mv behind took me OUT esp Changmin wiping TF OUTTTT with the volleyball net like eye- 💀💀

Also just to sneak in a lil abt the pcs… you din’t want to see the Totoro pcs… TRUST 😨😨 not safe for my mental health at ALL

Ouuu also my turn!

1. My fav bread would have to be seed bread! Not like, multigrain bread and idk if the right name is seed bread but it’s just in the name it’s bread made with a bunch of seeds mixed in 😭😭

2. My quirky snow app filter pics… oooooohhhh I hope those never see the light of day again 💀

3. No. 🗿

(But also just like you said, I’m patient but I’m also getting a lil bit impatient at the same time 😔)

4. The Robinson’s kid from meet the Robinsons…. Also Diego,,, and the Kratts broth-*gets shot*

Oh and maybe a few more questions!

1. Are you a tea person or a coffee person? What’s your fav drink?

2. Do you have a sweet tooth? If so, what’s your fav pastry?

3. If you could recommend any MUST HAVE food from your culture, what would it be?

(Can you tell that I’m craving a midnight snack rn 💀)

Oh also! I finally decided to start of my getting-back-into-reading journey with reading a book that has intrigued me and has been floating around a lot, Bunny by Mona Awad! I’ll let you know how it goes in a lil solo book club way 🫡

“I don’t know what they’re called, the spaces between seconds— but I think of you always in those intervals.” (Salvador Plascencia)

- Smooches + Smooches, 🌷 anon

omgg hi bestie 🤧🤧 what's been rough for u 😔 have u started school yet ☹️💔 im like,,, not ready to go back to uni, i wanna be a professional couch potato pls and thanks 😔

LOL pls (´Д⊂ヽ occupied was such a spur of the moment thing 💀 literally was going through MAJOR eric sohn brainrot and just had to get my thoughts down before i Combusted. bro... stared at my ceiling for a good while trying to find the perfect pics for that banner 😭 why's he gotta look that yummy 😭

aknfksnfkdkdk glad u liked rhaps anon bffie !!! bro frfr like this series is just me PROJECTING 💔💔💔 im projecting so VIOLENTLY it's embARRassing 💀 omg low-key i just remembered i pretty much based sunwoo's anonymous situation w how tumblr anons work 😭😭 but yeah for sure, i would also be kind of panicking over secret identities skfnkdnf

OMG I DID WATCH BARBIE I WATCHED IT ON PREMIERE NIGHT AND GOT GLAMMED UP !!! ur sooooooo so right omG??? lip gloss really is just a bunch of Kens doing Beach 😭😭 they're all Kenough for me tbh skcbsjnf but ugh omg im like obsessed w kevins little kick in the beginning of the choreo, and eric's one other jump thing, and chanhee's red light green light skfnkenfkdnfj such a good mv w so much fic potential tbh !!

hmmmm i haven't been listening to it as obsessively as i did be awake tbh 😭 maybe i'm just tired of summer songs 💔 but i would have to say i liked fantasize, fairytale, and fire eyes the most!! the whole album is a bop tho i do agree 🤸‍♀️😋

OH MY GOSH DO U MEAN NYUKEV ON THE STRIPPER POLES WKFNKENFKDNF HELP I SAW THAT CHANGMIN CLIP TOO 💀💀 I LAUGHED SO HARD IM SORRY CHANGMIN DONT HURT ME— omg but they were filming a variety show too and changmin lost a game and abused his gopro 😭😭😭 i felt so bad for that camera, but also low-key....... can that be me...

VRO I ALREADY SAW THE TOTORO ONES AKDNKSNFJD i was debating getting the album or joining a go for those special pcs but i ended up not doing it 😔

LMAO IM SORRY but when i saw seed bread, i just immediately thought of birds 😭😭 unrelated but i got a birb plush from daiso a couple days ago and i named him clyde 😎😎 THE SNOW FILTER APP SJFJKSJDJD I FEKT THAT DW 😭 OMG DIEGO UR SO RIGHT !!! (゜-゜) like sorry dora, ur cousin is much more entertaining ksnfkend

OMGGG i really need to start reading again 😭 it's awful how i can't even pick up a book anymore it's so embarrassing being an english major like this 💔 BUT YES PLS LMK HOW U LIKE IT o7

"& how many times have you loved me without my asking? how often have i loved a thing because you loved it? including me." - D. Smith, acknowledgements

— i love love loved you, and i'll love you all over again too 💖

#sungbeam strikes again #🌷 anon

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loudinmyhead · 10 months

Note

Hi. I’ve had a horrible day and I needed to share what was bothering me, well what has been bothering me for 12 years. You don’t have to respond but idk, you can post this idc anymore

I don’t know how to get away, my whole family treats me like dirt and it’s been this way for 12 years, (im 16), and they just won’t stop. My mom and dad hate that I’m lesbian, they constantly make comments saying “oh but we’re not sure on the liking girls stuff” and I tell them that it’s not ok but they don’t care, they yell at me for wanting anything rainbow colored when I don’t even get rainbow colored things cause im gay, they won’t let my brother know about anything and he’s being taught that being homo isnt ok because we never talk about it. My mom likes to point out every single thing wrong with my appearance and threaten to take away things and in the case of the topic being my hair, she threatens to shave it all off while im sleeping (she isn’t joking) I just started school back up last week and everything I had last year broke over the summer, im under constant pressure from my parents to make them proud, my dad tells me it’s irrational to fear men when no it’s not, im terrified of men, and women, people in general, I don’t belong in society at all, Im touch starved and I want a hug so damn bad but I can’t cause my body jerks away from people, my head constantly tells me im good enough and im doing good and then everyone else tells me the exact opposite. My mom and dad leave my sister (12) and my brother (8) for me to take care of every day and they don’t give a damn about me, they don’t listen to me at all. And when I start to yell IM the one who gets in trouble. I can’t eat, I’ve lost my ability to hold food, I’m not hungry ever, good makes me sick. I can’t sleep or have an hour at peace, my thoughts either run fast or empty. i deeply want to be gone but i can’t leave my siblings, no matter how horrible they treat me they are still my kids, my sister even calls me her second mom. I had no childhood, i had to grow up fast in order to not be left behind, i never got to have Barbie dolls and watch Disney channel, i was always alone and i fake a smile everywhere i go, i want to drown and just not exist. No one will ever love me as much as I love them and i know that, but it’s hard knowing no one cares about me at all. I want a hug. I really really really just want to lay down and cry, I only want a hug. All I ask is that my parents some some love at least. Maybe just a little attention. I need a hug, please.

I’m so sorry, anon. You’re safe here <3 remember that family isn’t always blood, and one day you will have the freedom to find your own - one that will never make you feel shame for being LGBTQ+ I’m truly sorry you’ve had to deal with so much already. You’re still a kid tho, it’s not too late to enjoy the rest of your teenage years. I know that probably feels impossible given the current circumstances, but promise you’ll stick around, ok? Not to be cliché, but things WILL get better in so many ways you can’t imagine. Life is full of surprises and you’ll find joy again. You are valid and safe!

#anon #vent #inboxopen #trauma

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lovphobic · 1 year

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I get what you're saying and my priv acc is for like. the things i don't want to admit to myself tbh things that i know I'll feel ashamed of someone saw but i just can't not write it, also sometimes it's just negative thoughts that I consider ugly so I think that maybe if I write it down I'll get it out of my body in a way?? kinda like a purification of my mind lmao

ok your ex is just a bitch tbh there's no other words to describe them, you have every right to feel the rage u described bc damn. if someone had this fucked up mindset around me i would be doing the world a favor by throwing a stone at their head lol and isn't it amazing how this type of ppl always manages to make everything about them and bc of them?? u exist bc of them and u act bc u want to get a reaction out of them, no they're never the one who creates the bad vibes in the room and they're never the one to blame if a fight starts it's just so lol at least it's over

oh yeah i get that part of it too. i mostly just keep those in my head. which maybe isnt healthy? but over time i just forget them LMAO so its just as effective as putting it on a priv yk?

and EXACTLY oh my god. like i wont be on here acting like im 100% without fault bc u know what sometimes i just got so fucking fed up that i DID start shit JUST so shed leave me the hell alone but that only worked for like 2-3 days 😭😭 shed b like ok i think we need to take a good break away from each other and id be like AMEN TO THAT (thinking im gonna get like 3 weeks) and then 3 days later shed come in like heyyy are u ready to talk. like? FUCK NO? ljkfhsdfj

#tldr: am not completely without fault. but at least i didnt do that kind of shit to her. i think the worst thing i did was say one (1) like #middle grade level thing to get under her skin and she was like UMMM YOU NEED TO APOLOGISE like girl you need to apologise first. for #everything you have said to me and put me through. thanks. bye.#and like its so fucked up that even me owning up to the fact that im not without fault makes me feel like im the one who was in the wrong.#like i feel like you read that and you were like oh jesus christ YOURE the asshole here. do you see what she has like. done to me? LMAO.#thats what being a people pleaser will fucking get u i guess. manipulated.#there was fr like 2-3 WEEKS in august last year where we just. argued. all the time. we could not talk without arguing. yet she wanted to #try to work through that and get back to normal? like no girl. you have hurt me too many times. im giving up. there is no normal.#snail mail #delusional. swear to god

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berryunho · 2 years

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I READ YOUR RESPONSE ONLY TO GET RUN OVER BY A TRAIN NAMED CHAPTER 20 LIKECUHYBRVFNYN YOU DIDNT EVEN GIVE ME A C H A N C E 💀💀💀 I WAS IN PUBLIC AND DIDNT HAVE A CHARGER AND MY PHON WAS AT 10% BUT YOLO

FIRST OF ALL an honorable screw you Hongjoong 💖 AND THEN WE START OFF WITH SOME “FLUFF”?? did make my heart do a little dugun dugun 😳 but godddd when it gets to the Mingi convo A R G H

My reactions during the whole convo: FINALLY ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ -> :0 -> :( -> :0000 -> D:

LIKE DAMN OK SO MUCH HAPPENED AT ONCE RHFHGJ LIKE NAURRR MINGI I WANNA TRUST YOU BUT I KEEP SIDEYEING YOU AND NOW I FEEL BAD BUT AT THE SAME TIME ITS SO HARD TO TRUST HIM 😭😭 AND SAME THING GOES FOR SAN EXCEPT SAN IS STILL WAY MORE SUS EVEN IF HES CUTE, WE HAVE TO STAY STRONG MISS Y/N

Although I completely agree with y/n not reading ‘The Answer’, you gotta know what the prophecy or whatever tf is cause like WHAT IF YOURE ABT TO GET SACRIFICED I’MMMMMM either get San to tell you the prophecy so you don’t have to read it or ask San for the page numbers and skip to that part and read it real quick in private like in the bathroom or smth 💀

But like always I ate this chapter up and I can’t wait to see what happens in the future! Ofc there’s no pressure in uploading and I’d wait forever as long as you’re proud of your work before you upload a chapter and thank you for all your hard work going into this series 🥺💖

- ily muah muah, 🍓 anon 🥰

ehehehe all apart of my master plan of course ! very bold to read ff in public (idk about you but i cannot control my facial expressions when reading lol) though i salute your bravery and dedication hehe !!! aaaaahhhh honestly this ask makes all of the laboring i was doing over the chapter worth it hehe like idk why i was struggling so bad bc. like. every scene was something that i really wanted to write (i have had that mingi scene written for like ... 3 months maybe LOL) but getting everything to click into a cohesive update was very difficult and i still think it was a bit choppy at parts but AHHHHHH im so happy that you liked it and i love and appreciate your input very much and ... yeah hehehe tysm i hope your week has started nicely!! <3

#🍓 anon #answered #:]]]]

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leafwyrm · 4 years

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Every single odd number has an “e” in it.

#tagging for later

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specialagentsoftie · 2 years

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Faith | j.h. & h.u

*Gif doesn’t belong to me! Credits to the owner <3 Pairing: Jay Halstead & Hailey Upton x Sister!Reader Requested: yes by anon! "I saw you said upstead requests were ok so maybe imagine upstead talking about kids but there's a reader character in it somehow, maybe poly upstead? you can choose how to add it in ❤️" Warnings: none? Word count: 1.2k ish A/N: so this was a concept/drabble request... but it got outta hand. and its now just a shorter oneshot. i have so much respect for char x char writers bc idk how yall do it. jesus. idk what im doing lorddddddd

Y/D/N (your daughter’s name) was born 6 months ago and every weekend since she got here, Jay and Will would take turns visiting you to see what they could do to make things easier. You loved the help.

Jay didn’t start bringing Hailey by until recently, but you enjoyed having your girl time again. It had been a while since you had the mental capacity for it.

This week, you could tell that the detective had something on her mind. Between the baby questions and her asking you when you knew you were ready for a baby… all the beating around the bush, you just decided to get to the point.

“You and Jay ever talk about kids?”

“Yeah, we have. It's just that...Jay would be such a great dad.”

“I agree. We love Uncle Jay, don’t we,” you cooed as you shoveled mush into the baby girl’s mouth. “So what’s the problem?"

“I just— I don’t know. Would I even be a good mom? How would I know if I'm ready? If we're ready? Babies and I aren’t really on the same page… and the job..."

“Oh come on. Hailey." You can’t stop the scoff that escapes from your lips. "You never know if you're truly ready or not, but I’ve seen you with kids, you’re great with them.”

“Kids aren’t the same as babies, Y/N!"

You rolled your eyes, knowing damn well that Hailey Upton would rather chase down bad guys and put people in jail than hold a baby.

“They’re so little and fragile,” she whined, her face twisting in discomfort at the thought of dropping one of them.

“You wanna practice?” you asked as you held out your daughter for Hailey to hold.

You really meant to give her a choice, you think, but you’re placing Y/D/N in the blonde’s arms before she even gets a chance to answer.

A rainbow of emotions appears on Hailey's face from confusion to shock, to panic as she realized there was an infant in her arms.

You let out a chuckle as you watch her mouth something to your brother and awkwardly bounced the baby on her chest. It was probably something like “what am I supposed to do with this”, but you knew she’d get it eventually.

After all, who could resist the sweet facial features you and your brothers seemed to share? Your daughter was no exception to Halstead genetics.

Jay quickly raised his hands in surrender and left the room, that knowing smirk on his face telling his girlfriend that she was doing fine and to figure it out.

Just like you expected, it didn’t take long for Hailey to melt from the happy girl’s giggles. No less than 20 minutes later, someone wasn’t ready to let Y/D/N go.

“Are you ever going to give me my baby back?” You laugh as you see the pout appear on Hailey’s face, hugging the little girl tighter in protest. “I’m just kidding, Hails. I’ve got a couple more things to do before I’ll need the munchkin.”

“She’s just so cute, Y/N. Look at those cheeks. Look at that smile! Oh my god, she’s smiling at me.”

“What can I say, she loves her Aunt Hailey,” you say as you walk over to where Hailey was sitting with your daughter propped up against her legs. You can’t help but admire the sight for a moment, before leaning over the back of the couch and giving her a rub on the shoulders. “And for the record, I think you’d be a wonderful mom.”

Hailey turns at your words, looking at you like you couldn’t possibly know that. But you did because for some people, you can just tell. It's so obvious.

You could tell by the way she looked at your brother, how much love she had for him and the trust they had for each other. When Jay got hurt, she was right there by his side, every second of the day that he had to stay in the hospital.

There was no doubt in your mind that Hailey was going to be the best mom to their kids.

“Really?” she whispers, and the small nod and smile you give her made her heart soar. You didn’t need to say anything else, she understood.

Standing up to return to your chores, you plant a comforting kiss on the crown of Hailey’s head.

It was something you started doing after you had your daughter and Hailey shut her eyes at the feeling, thinking about how much your validation meant to her.

You, being the ever-observant baby of the Halstead family, were the first one to notice there was anything going on between your brother and his partner. Since day 1, you were their biggest supporter.

You and Hailey were fast friends and you always saw her as the older sister you never had.

“I’m gonna steal her,” Hailey calls to you as you turned your back.

“Fat chance, blondie!” Your voice echoes down the hall, leaving her to continue playing with your daughter while you got things done.

Hailey, too infatuated by the tiny fingers wrapped around her own, doesn’t hear the soft footsteps making their way over to her.

“See? Even my sister thinks you’d be a great mom.” Jay’s voice broke the silence as he walked into the room, taking a seat next to his girlfriend on the couch. "And Y/N would know because she's one herself.”

“You heard that?”

“Mmhm."

“That was a dirty trick you pulled back there, leaving me alone with this little squish,” Hailey cooed, her finger stroking Y/D/N’s chubby cheeks.

“I knew you had it under control. You always do.”

“How do you Halsteads have so much faith in everyone? You and Will, and Y/N definitely has it the worst.”

Jay chuckled to himself, knowing that you had always been the best pep talker, even when you were a little kid.

“Well, that’s how our mom was and Y/N is, without a doubt, her mini-me if I ever saw one. I just wish mom could have met you. She would have loved you, so much,” he murmured as his hand came up to cup Hailey’s jaw, running his thumb over her skin lightly.

She leaned into his palm as he turned her face towards him and brought her lips to meet his.

Nothing happened, but moms hear everything. Even the almost indiscernible moan that escapes from Hailey’s mouth as Jay bit her bottom lip didn’t go unnoticed by you… all the way from the laundry room.

“I swear to god, Jay, if y’all are gonna make a baby right now, get your asses outta my house please!”

“We should get out of here,” Jay whispered and the blonde nodded eagerly.

Jay got up from the couch with his girlfriend riding his coattails, finding you in the house in record time and handing you back your kid like she was a sack of potatoes.

Y/D/N was giggling like a maniac at her uncle's manhandling and you manage to shoot your brother a "really?" look before you're tackled by another person.

“Thanks for the baby fix, Y/N/N!” Hailey chirped as she wrapped you in a quick, albeit tight, hug and gave a peck to your cheek.

“Go.” You shook your head as you chuckled to yourself and the two were holding in their own laughs as they fled from your doorstep, hand in hand like they were teenagers again.

When did you become the mature one around here?

Upstead Taglist

@sylvieshay

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