#and i think the discourse surrounding the prank is like

[rollercoasterwords]

about those prank thoughts... well i’d love to hear them sooo if you needed an excuse to write another essay here it is

kissing u on the mouth anon ok here we go here's the prank rant (warning it got super long):

ok so this is limited in scope because as i've said before, i've only been in this fandom for like ~1.5 years, so idk anything about how the prank was talked about/handled before this. BUT. what i personally have seen. is essentially:

atyd gets super popular via tiktok -> it becomes sort of "canon" (at least, amongst newer marauders fans) that The Prank was like...this really devastating event that tore apart the marauders friend group, because that's how it was characterized in atyd--despite the fact that in the actual canon, it honestly doesn't seem like as big of a deal -> since it becomes the New Canon that The Prank was Such A Horrible Thing, suddenly people begin talking (mostly on tiktok) about how awful and unforgivable it was for sirius to do something like that. this devolves into this big discussion of people saying either

it's completely out of character for sirius to do The Prank and he never "really" would have done it; we should just ignore that part of canon

The Prank is so unforgivable that it makes sirius a completely irredeemable character

The Prank is so awful that anyone writing it in a canon compliant fic should be showing every single marauder turning against sirius and everyone hating him/telling him what he did was so awful and wrong, and it should take a really long time and a lot of apologizing/changed behavior before remus ever forgives sirius

and this then got extended into debates about james' characterization; I saw sooooo many people talking about "james would NEVER just forgive sirius for something like that" "james would side with remus" etc etc etc

and the end result of all these conversations was that i saw tons and tons of people saying that the way The Prank was written in atyd was Bad. not just--oh, i didn't like it, though there was plenty of that too, but people acting as though the way it was written was a moral failing, as though mkb had failed to convey how Horrible and Awful of a thing the prank was, and in doing so she had allowed people to Sympathize with sirius's character, when he should have been Punished. suddenly everyone was climbing on their high horses about The Prank, talking about how unrealistic or out of character or "problematic" it was to write it the way it was done in atyd--which was ironic to me, because from where i was sitting, it seemed like it was atyd that had solidified this fanon idea that The Prank was Such A Bad Thing in the first place (again, at least amongst fans brought in by tiktok).

SO. my problem with this. setting aside the conversation of whether The Prank was actually That Bad in the first place (because i think it can be written as a more or less serious event, depending on how you interpret canon--but personally, i tend to interpret it as something Very Bad, so let's start with that premise) and operating under the assumption that it was, in fact, a really horrible thing that put not only snape + james in danger but also remus, since he could have been exposed as a werewolf--the thing that drives me up the fucking WALL about The Prank discourse is that it is, to me, just one example of this obsession with Morality and Punishment when it comes to "literary critique" (using that term loosely, because i'd argue that a lot of what these people are doing actually isn't literary critique) in the marauders fandom (post-tiktokifcation, at least).

like. specifically, it's this idea that something like The Prank would make sirius, as a character, irredeemable, and that it would be unrealistic for his friends to forgive him. that, to me, is just....such a strange interpretation!!! because if you are friends--close friends, childhood friends--with someone for long enough, they will hurt you. you will hurt each other. it is an inevitable part of being human that getting close to each other and staying close to each other often means hurting each other. and the closer you are with someone, the more they can hurt you. i have a childhood friend who is essentially like family to me, and i was cruel to her when i was fourteen. i was dealing with a lot of shit, and i was young, and i was mean. and we've both been cruel to each other in the nearly two decades we've known each other, and we've had explosive fights, but we have always found our way back to each other and forgiven each other, because that's the kind of friendship we have. i have another childhood friend who hurt me so deeply when we grew older that despite having my literal handwriting tattooed on her arm, we haven't spoken in five years, and will probably never speak again. that kind of hurt is a risk you take when you let people in.

so to me, the idea that a teenage boy raised in an abusive environment who has just run away a few months earlier, who is dealing with all that shit as well as the regular shit of just being a fucking teenager, would thoughtlessly and deeply hurt his friend--that isn't out of character! in fact, i think it's entirely in character, and i think it's a crucial part of sirius's relationship with remus and the other marauders. because the fact that remus is able to forgive sirius says something important about their relationship. what exactly it says will vary, to a certain extent, depending on the details of how you write the prank and characterize the characters, but overall--it's important because it's showing that their relationship is strong enough and close enough and important enough to both of them that they are able to move past this deeply hurtful event. and that, to me, is a WAY more interesting and impactful relationship to read about than a relationship where two people are always good and never hurt each other.

and regarding james--personally, i love the characterization that james forgives sirius "too quickly" or "too easily" after the prank, because i think it's an opportunity to explore one of his most important character flaws, which is that he cannot imagine that his friends would ever purposefully do something bad/harmful. like--this loyalty and belief in his friends is literally what gets him killed. what amazing foreshadowing to show that even when his best friend does something blatantly wrong, james still thinks--well, he didn't mean it. his intentions weren't bad. and obviously he's sorry--and he's a still a good person, because he's my friend, and my friends are good people. like THAT is how you write a character flaw!

and speaking of character flaws--this is also one of the best opportunities, if you're following canon, to really explore some of sirius's character flaws! and again, it's gonna change depending on how you're writing certain details, but in some way shape or form this is a very important mistake for sirius to make in order for his character to grow--obviously, something has to change afterwards, because otherwise how could remus forgive him? but what has to change? how does it have to change? good characters aren't meant to be static!!

it's just. !!!! The Prank is truly, genuinely, one of the BEST opportunities from canon that you can use you really explore these characters and their flaws and their relationships with one another. so it is genuinely BAFFLING to me to see sooooo many people condemn it and act like it's this atrocious thing, because i feel like it demonstrates a fundamental misunderstanding of what literature is meant to do. like--i've talked about this before on my blog, and i'll keep saying it til the cows come home, but fictional characters do not exist as moral blueprints. good literature should engage your critical thought, and "character does Bad Thing -> character is Bad" is not critical thought!!! like!! fiction isn't telling you how to live, it's asking you to think about the human condition--and part of the human condition is that people make mistakes, and they hurt each other, and they have to figure out how to keep living in the wake of that hurt!! The Prank is this plot point where you can bring up really tough questions, like--how does closeness with others leave us vulnerable to them? is that vulnerability worth the closeness? what role does intent play in measuring harm? what can we forgive? what can we not forgive?

i get that sometimes with fanfiction you just want fluffy happy brain-off fun, but you can find that if that's what you want, y'know? like--it's just so so strange and honestly concerning for me to see people act as though something like The Prank shouldn't be written just because it means giving characters flaws and exploring them.

in conclusion, The Prank is one of my favorite parts of canon, and i truly think it is so worthwhile to explore when writing and thinking about these characters, especially sirius. also--it is important to understand, both within and outside of literature, that having flaws and causing harm does not automatically make a person irredeemable. if we are going to live with each other we need to learn how to respond to people fucking up in ways that are not just: You Are Bad And Must Be Punished.

#this got so much longer than intended and u know what? #i could probably say more #but yeah tldr i am a prank + sirius defender til my dying day #and i think the discourse surrounding the prank is like #the perfect example of so many issues i see in the ways people talk about literature online #ranting and raving

[luckyjak]

thinky thoughts: Why is Jester a Child?

I’m going to preface this with say that I don’t think this is intentional, I don’t think negatively of anyone in the cast for this portrayal, I think this speaks of a large societal issue than just Critical Role (namely, the oversexualization of little girls), and I think the world of Laura Bailey. 

But I was having a conversation with a friend, and part of the discussions last night made me think: why do we think of Jester as a child? I don’t think there’s an easy answer, but who am I if not someone to over-analyze everything?

My friend and I were discussing what would happen, if the Mighty Nein had “banishment” cast on them:

My friend: “Jester ends up in a too-small bed. Fjord goes about 1500 feet to the wreckage of the ball eater.” Me: “Why would Jester's bed be too small? Lol, Fjord ends up in the middle of the ocean, where his first ship sank.” My friend: “I like the idea that she ends up in the room she had when she was a small child.” Me: “Yeah but she lived there until she was 20. She probably had a normal sized bed at that point.” My friend: “True I’m sure she did. I like the idea that they go back to the place that made them happiest though. So eight year old jester getting told stories by the traveler.”

My friend’s not the only one who has this instinct to make Jester a child. Everyone does. 

So my question is...why?

In canon, people treat Jester like a child.

Oh, they’ve gotten better. But early game especially, characters in the game treat Jester like a child. It’s easy to: she’s got a high pitched squeaky voice, she dresses very cutsey like, she has an incredibly naive outlook on the world, she has a pet weasel named Sprinkles, she loves and is obsessed with candy--all things we associate with children. Jester doesn’t know how sex works and thinks it works exactly like smutty romance novels she’s read, and Beau has to tell her that reality is a little different.

At the same, Jester is incredibly wise and compassionate (well, sometimes.) I’ve seen people argue that Jester is actually very mature for her age, and in some ways, they aren’t wrong. The way Jester interacts with Yasha is very mature; the way she helps her friends and cares about people--like Essek, for example--are all very mature.

So why do we see her as a kid?

The game reinforces this in multiple ways. The biggest is probably the animated introduction: when we are introduced to all of the characters, we see Jester first as a little girl, drawing in her bed before the Traveler takes her chalk and pokes her nose. Then there is a shift from child Jester to a grown one, but it’s still odd that our first look at Jester is that of a child.

Could they not have shown Jester’s relationship with the Traveler with her being grown?

No one else--bar Caleb--is shown as a child. And the way Caleb is framed as a child is very different from the way Jester is shown. 

Caleb is shown as a teenager, surrounded by flames as his parents die in front of him. It makes sense that we see this aspect of Caleb: it’s fundamentally important to understand him as a character, it’s a quintessential part of understanding Caleb’s character. In fact, everyone’s part in the introduction is essential to their character:

Fjord drowns at sea; Beau fights with monks; Nott hides her face and steals; Caduceus tends a garden; Yasha rages at a storm; Caleb is surrounded by flames. Molly is a stick in the ground with a raven on top. 

Why is Jester a child?

Is it to empathize her relationship with the Traveler? Are there not other ways to showcase that instead of showing her as a little kid? If we do see her as a little kid, could it not be a quick montage of her growing with the Traveler? Why spend so long focusing on her as a little kid?

Is it because she dresses in a somewhat Lolita fashion? 

(spoilers for last night’s episode) Even when Caleb was doing his memory dome, he paints a specific image of Jester as a little kid!

Why? No one else is portrayed as a child. We don’t see a little Beau playing in the mud, although certain we could imagine it. We don’t see little Caduceus playing with his siblings in the dirt, although again, just as easy to imagine as a little Jester playing pranks.

He puts up an image of their pasts on the memory dome, but everyone else is grown. Beau is with monks; Fjord with sailors; Yasha with her wife; Veth with her child. The only other person who gets seen as a child is Caleb himself, which makes sense. His biggest regret  is the murder of his parents: of course he wants to see them again.

So again: why is Jester represented as a child?

Is it because she’s “innocent?” But she’s not--she reads smut, makes sex jokes all the time, and has killed a fair number of people. She once even put an ax in somebody’s head--that’s not innocent! She even says she’s doesn’t care if people die at Traveler-con, provided the Traveler doesn’t hurt her or her friends.

Is it because she’s not jaded or cynical? Caduceus isn’t jaded or cynical, but we don’t show him off as a child.

Is the narrative trying to say something specific about Caleb and Jester as characters? Namely, Caleb’s incredibly tragic childhood juxtaposed by Jester’s childhood that lasted too long? Her childhood that is still going on, in some people’s minds?

Is it because we meet her mom? But we’ve met Beau and Cad’s moms now, too, and again, we don’t see them as children?

Is it because she’s a girl??? Hell, she takes care of Kiri like a mother would, but no one goes “ah, it’s Jester’s bird daughter”...because we treat Jester like she’s still a kid, too.

I don’t have a good answer, but I’m super curious as to what other people think. I’m not seeking discourse here, but I do wonder if this view of Jester as a child is why a lot of people have negative reactions to Jester ships--some who view Beau’s crush on her as “predatory” or people who don’t like her with Caleb or Fjord due to the age difference. 

#critical role #cr spoilers #jester lavorre #cr meta

[thestylesindependent]

Inside Eroda, the fictional Harry Styles island that’s baffled the internet

Full Text from The Telegraph 4/12/2019

It all started on November 20. A Twitter account opened in October released its first post: “The Isle of Eroda’s rich history is embedded in daily life as the ruins of many structures from the past remain standing across the land. #VisitEroda”

It looked like a new marketing campaign for a little-visited, off-beat beauty spot. But a quick search would show it didn’t actually exist. Yet, Eroda had a website. Advertisements for the place were popping up on Facebook and Google. People interested in all manner of nerdy subcultures were foxed – it had the whiff of a clever marketing campaign about it, but what was it for?

Within hours, an Eroda subreddit had been created to discuss it. People dived deep into web hosting details, and only became more baffled as they seemed legitimate: “it ain't no kid doing a school project”. Was it a scam, a game, an elaborate prank? Some were convinced it was the beginning of a new Cloverfield film, World of Warcraft, a new Channel 4 series or even a means of human trafficking.

Meanwhile, scores of “Harries”, the sub-group of Directioners dedicated to Harry Styles, were piecing bits of evidence together. The pop star was due to release Adore You, the second single off his forthcoming sophomore album. “Adore” backwards was “Eroda”, and the video, released on November 23, looked like it had been shot in St Abbs, the Berwickshire fishing village where Styles had been spotted shooting in August. As Eroda claimed more of the internet, Harries  – some of the most forensic fans in the world – were sent into a flurry of investigation.

The goliath churn of a pop star marketing campaign is fairly familiar by now: cryptic social media teaser, excitable release date news, lyric video, full video, rinse, repeat.

Styles, who will release sophomore album Fine Line on December 13 and Adore You on Friday, satisfied many speculating fans on Monday with a near-three-minute-long trailer for the single, along with an illustration of the star standing in the ocean, surrounded by fish.

To those who had been studying Eroda for the past 10 days it was the confirmation they had been hankering for: Eroda was a Harry Styles project, and it confirmed what they had always known – that he is an artist beyond the normal realms of pop frippery (by contrast, former bandmate Louis Tomlinson spent the same afternoon releasing a video in which he sings in a bunker wearing a Stone Island parka).

Styles’ trailer introduced Eroda, showing it to be an island in the middle of the Irish Sea “shaped unmistakably like a frown, it is home to an all-but-forgotten fishing village that has had perpetual cloud cover for as long as anyone can remember”. Scenes appear of a typical coastal village, with crashing waves and brave little houses facing them. It gets increasingly weird: we learn that it is bad luck to “mention a pig in a fisherman’s pub” and to “whistle in the wind, in case you turn a gust into a gale”; the island mustn’t be left on odd-numbered days.  

The inhabitants of Eroda’s village always frown, calling it “resting fish face”. Until, that is, a beaming baby appears amidst the gloom. Deemed “peculiar” (a word that pops up a lot), the boy – who grows up to become Harry Style – was outcast, leading him to deal with his angst by screaming into jars. “He had lost his smile, and without it, the world grew darker, the wind colder, and the ocean more violent” the pan-European narrator explains. “Loneliness is an ocean full of travellers trying to find their place in the world”, she continues, as Harry finds himself bonding with a stubborn fish, before the film ends “to be continued…”

So far, so intriguing. But delve a little deeper into Eroda and you may find yourself wanting to visit. The island’s website – beautiful island views and a template dating back to the late Noughties – looks remarkably similar to those for any other charming coastal holiday destination, say Bute or Oban. “No Land Quite Like It”, reads Eroda’s strapline, before offering a familiar-enough menu: Accommodations, Attractions, Guide, Home and About Eroda. The video is similarly convincing: “Make memories for your senses at VisitEroda.com”, a dulcet-voiced woman encourages over shots of crabmeat and speedboats.

It didn’t take long for the Harries to take over the Eroda subreddit, moderators becoming increasingly rigid in ruling nuggets of unrelated Eroda flotsam irrelevant to the cause of discovery (such as the user who wanted to discuss Eroda, but without any intervention from the Harries). Tumblr users were similarly invested: “What do the ominous references to Him portend? What are they serving at those town dinners? You think it’s a cute little coastal AU [alternative universe] but upon closer examination it’s full-on Wicker Man meets Hotel California meets Nightvale in the afterlife (which is what most of those places are anyway so sure why not),” posted 1D Discourse of the Day.

The whole thing is littered with wordplay. Eroda, for one, is Adore backwards (Harry’s next single is called Adore You). But, as Directioners have pointed out, the copy throughout the website nods to forthcoming Styles songs: The Fisherman’s Pub is located on the corner of Cherry Street and Golden Way (Cherry is one new song, Golden is another); the album will be released on Friday, 13 December and Eroda recommends avoiding a departure on an odd-numbered day. Eroda’s fishermen wear a single gold earring for good fortune – a look historically sported by Styles.

Directioners went further still: the hosting for VisitEroda.com and Styles’ website, doyouknowwhoyouare.com, were owned by the same company, MarkMonitor.inc. Social media pixels linked pages about Styles with Eroda. Fans became suspicious over Visit Eroda adverts appearing not on their social channels or YouTube, but, of all places, on Wikipedia. “I'M FROM FRICKING PORTUGAL,” a baffled Reddit user posted. “NOTHING EVER HAPPENS HERE. WHY IS THIS HERE”.

Eroda had analog presence, too. A4 pamphlets – the kind of thing one could make on MS Publisher circa 1998 – appeared in the freesheet boxes on the pavements of Manhattan. At a promo event in Paris, Harry was asked about Eroda by a fan. He remained silent, but those who were there claim he “made a face”.

By November 29, more evidence arrived. A short film “advert”, which used footage from the trailer released on Monday, was screened by a new Harry Styles fan account from “Eroda”. They said the film appeared in a cinema in Kinlochbervie, on Scotland’s northern coast; the Eroda account then started to tweet about cinema screening times.  Eagle-eyed fans were swift to post screengrabs, showing similar island formations in the background of both the Eroda advert and that featuring Styles. The two were linked.

Kinlochbervie was, fittingly, a bit of a red herring: the footage shown in both the advert and the video trailer was actually taken in St Abbs, a picturesque fishing village in Berwickshire that’s no stranger to a rolling camera – it was “twinned” with New Asgard after being used as a location for Thor’s new home in Avengers Endgame.

Styles was there in August, shooting, it appears, a few things for the forthcoming album campaign. He and his crew used Angela Morris’s cottage, in St Abbs’ Sea View Terrace, as a green room during the three days of filming in the village, after Morris had responded to a note being popped through the door from a filming company. “One Thursday I was just coming home from work and there was Harry walking into the house,” she tells me. “All of the costumes were in the living room, make-up was going on in the kitchen.

“I asked if I could wait in the garden before my husband and I went out for the evening, so I just sat there when Harry came out,” Morris said. “I think he was having a coffee, and he sat down and chatted, asked me about bits and pieces about the village. I was talking to him about his Gucci clothes and we had a bit of a laugh. I wasn’t too starstruck, really, and I think he appreciated that.” Later on in the shoot, Styles invited Morris and her husband to share a glass of champagne with him and the crew.

While the shoot interrupted the sleepy pace of life on St Abbs for a few days – Morris says that visitor numbers had already been boosted by Avengers Endgame but small crowds of teenage girls began to crop up after word spread of Harry’s location – most villagers, she reckons, are pleased to see the place put on the map: “Most people I saw were embracing it and interested to see what was going on.”

A German artist named Mario Klingemann was, however, more incensed when his holiday collided with the shoot: “I didn't know who Harry Styles was until today when I learned that he's the guy who blocked off the entire St Abbs harbour and prevented us from enjoying our fresh crab rolls," he posted on Twitter, aggrieved.

But Morris found out about Eroda much like everybody else – through Facebook. “It’s really odd,” she assess. “Lovely footage of beautiful St Abbs, though.”

Long-lens pap shots from that shoot certainly seem to match up with what we’ve seen of Eroda so far. Styles gangles around in Seventies suits, befitting the aesthetic of his trailer. The smoking gun, though, is the presence of a young woman with hair that brings to mind a Dr Seuss illustration, or the hat Princess Beatrice wore at the Cambridges’ wedding. VisitEroda’s “about” page explains: “The primary occupation in Eroda is fishing, however, the island’s art scene has recently started to develop. In particular, Erodean hairstyles have become a rather bold expression of self amongst the island’s youth”. Clearly, these are scenes of Eroda that are being filmed.

There’s an unmistakably ominous air to Eroda, and some believe the video for Adore You will see some misfortune befall Styles – there were reports of a (fake) gunshot being filmed in St Abbs while he was there.

But what happens next is arguably less intriguing than what we’ve been given with Eroda so far. We are well-used to being nudged and prodded by pop stars ahead of a new release. Major albums aren’t so much brought out as “dropped” or “leaked”, arriving online in the middle of the night before their fans disseminate them through the internet. Fans, rather than critics, are given early listens – and under tight NDAs. Artists will clear their channels to mark a new direction, only to give us elaborate photoshoots and contrived poetry to create a “concept”.

Eroda is undeniably a “concept” – themes of loneliness, peculiarity, conformity and happiness have been woven into the fictional island from the off. But it’s been artfully done; look deep enough into the Reddit forums and you’ll see non-Styles fans begrudgingly accepting that this is the work of a former boy band frontman, rather than that of a somehow more “serious” game creator, filmmaker or even musician. Furthermore, it’s fun – and that’s all too rare in a pop world where things have become obsessed with authenticity, and a rogue comment can result in “cancellation”. One Directioner popped up on a thread only to add, “As someone who works in marketing/promotion... This is fucking genius. Harry Styles' team is tops”, and it’s difficult to disagree.

After a decade in which stars have had to up their social media presence to survive, tweaking and teasing their listenership in ever-increasing desperation to retain shrinking attention spans, Styles is closing out the 2010s with the greatest album campaign we’ve seen so far. As an artistic statement, it suggests the 2020s will be his to claim.

#harry styles #eroda #press #the telegraph #dec2019 #long post

[shijiujun]

[ENG] History3: Trapped Novel - Epilogue Two: “And After, Jack & Zhao Zi”

~2,500 words 

*Warnings for this chapter: SMUT AHEAD. Okay I think I’ve said a lot regarding the ridiculous-ness of this chapter, but honestly, I wouldn’t recommend reading this chapter AT ALL. Zhao Zi and Shao Fei are a little OOC in this one I feel, and there are so many logical loopholes. It starts off well and we get some Jack backstory which is quite nice, but then it all goes downhill from there. There’s the who tops who bottoms discourse, and there’s kind of.. questionable consent? Not exactly dub-con but ZZ is drunk as hell. And the sex scene is NOT written well, but I mean to be fair not every writer can write smut, including me. Translation is even worse I’m so sorry. You’ll know what I mean if you read it but I hope you don’t read this, in case anyone needed the warnings. Comments? 

===

Translation Masterpost can be found here

Disclaimer: Translations are entirely mine and Wei’s - these are not official translations and some phrases have been changed for better English interpretation so you’ll definitely see better/different translations elsewhere. Also keeping in mind when we translated this we aren’t exactly thinking about the style of writing and this translation is as close to the novel as we can make it XD So yes, some parts may be a little awkward to read. And yes some teeny weeny details and words may not turn up in the translation because the Chi to Eng mind acrobatics didn’t work out. If you see asterisks, scroll all the way to the bottom for notes!

Full chapter under the cut

Epilogue Two: “And After, Jack & Zhao Zi”

Jack is lying on the couch, waiting for his lover who hasn’t returned home even though it’s so late after 10pm. However, Jack is also accustomed to waiting up for Zhao Zi.

In the army, the strict regimen of training gave him unimaginable skills. Put nicely, it was to protect the country and its citizens, but put in perspective, he was simply a killing machine trained for a long time under the army. Under his commander’s order he had to kill, the only difference is that when you do it in the name of your country, it’s not considered illegal, but in the end, he was still a machine that simply listened to orders. To live or to die, to be valued or cast aside, this was all dependent on your superiors, and you also had to watch out for what they thought of you.

“How boring,” the man lying on the couch remarked, thinking about his past.

Since he was going to kill anyway, why not let him choose his target? And that was how he left the army and chose the high-risk career path of a mercenary, to be hired by a buyer at high prices, and time after time in each battle, he escaped the grim reaper’s axe.

Jack closes his eyes, breathing in the air in the house.

In the past, the air that he breathed was filled with either smoke and sulphur or the coppery tang of blood leaving a body. Now, around him all he smells is the aroma of food.

Unconsciously, Jack slips into sleep and a dream, but is forced to revisit his past. In his dreams he hears the sound of a bullet being fired from a gun, hears the loud explosions echo, hears the signs of people, one after another, falling and never getting up, hears the sound of blood gushing from a gunshot wound. Just as he thought that he could escape and finally be free.

I really want a place that I can return to, he sighs.

===

Although the sound of the key entering the keyhole and the main door opening is very soft, Jack, an ex-mercenary who is used to being on high alert always, still startles.

Jack’s eyes snap open suddenly, and he looks at his surroundings in a mixture of fear and wariness, until he’s sure that he’s lying on the couch in the living room. Only then does he straighten, his entire back drenched in cold sweat.

“Hehe, you’re not asleep yet?”

The smell of alcohol is strong on Zhao Zi, and holding onto his noisily clinking set of keys, he laughs and looks at his lover, who often waits on the couch for him to come back.

“You had to put in overtime again?”

Zhao Zi’s nose scrunches up as he shakes his head, “No, I went out for drinks with Ah Fei and Jun Wei.”

“Did you have a good time?”

“Hnn, I did.”

Zhao Zi removes his shoes and moves over to sit right next to Jack, then leans his entire body against the man’s shoulder. He adjusts himself until he’s most comfortable. 

“Liang Dian, hehe, Fang Liang Dian is so huge.”

Only at this time, acting all cute would Zhao Zi call him by his birth name. Zhao Zi happily reaches out to caress Jack's abdominal muscles.

“Hey! You really have some fetish for this huh?” Jack does not know whether to laugh or cry as he says this, and even though he doesn’t mind being sexually harassed in various forms by the shorty, it feels a little different tonight for some reason.

Why is Zhao Zi’s hand starting to move towards that somewhere?*

Zhao Zi swallows and looks at the area that is beginning to have some reaction with his touch, “It’s hard, huge… and a little hot.”**

“Shorty, are you intending to call in sick to work tomorrow?”

Since Zhao Zi has lit a flame in his body, then he must be mentally prepared to douse the flames out, all night long.

“I want to eat you up!”

Zhao Zi suddenly throws himself towards Jack and Jack, who is unable to react in time, ends up lying on his back on the soft couch.

“Huh?”

Jack looks at his lover, whose face is filled with determination, and allows Zhao Zi to pull up his loose shirt, lie on his chest and begin to lick and suck at his nipples.

The pants coming from Jack makes the person who took the initiative to attack him very satisfied, and so Zhao Zi continues to slide down Jack’s body, kissing Jack’s abdomen, and then he pulls down Jack’s shorts to reveal an already hard member.

“Hey, you can’t really want to top me, right?”

“Hmph!” Zhao Zi immediately glares at Jack, who is sitting up to get a better look at him.

Zhao Zi seems very unhappy that Jack seems to be doubting him. “I’m a guy too, if you can top me, then of course I can top you. What about it? You’re looking down on me, is that it?”***

It’s all Ah Fei’s fault! Earlier when they were drinking, he suddenly grabbed him and asked if Zhao Zi was still a virgin, and in the end in a fit of anger he retorted, “Who the hell’s a virgin, I’ve already done it with Jack!”

Shao Fei only went ‘oh’, and continued, “You may have grown behind, but in the front it’s as if you’re still single.”****

The drunk person holding and teasing the hard member in his hands suddenly starts crying, scaring Jack to the point of falling on his back again on the couch.

“Shorty, what’s up with you?”

Zhao Zi points at his similarly hard member and very loudly says, “Ah Fei says that even if I’ve done it with you, it’s only in the back that I’m not a virgin, but in the front it’s as if I’m still single and a virgin!”

“Pftt…. Hahahahaha!”

Hearing this, Jack can no longer control himself and starts to laugh, hugging his abdomen. Geez, what do these guys usually talk about? What a mess! Jack sighs, thinking about his ex-boss, who’s faced with such an unpredictable lover.

Tang Yi, you’ve got a tough life ahead of you.

Hold on a second! It seems that Jack himself didn’t get any luckier in his choice of partner, if he had to identify someone who was ever more ridiculous than Officer Meng, wouldn’t it exactly be the Zhao Zi kneeling right in front of him right now, the Zhao Zi who wants to ‘top’ him?

Suddenly struck with reality, Jack looks at his shorty with a frown. An opportunity for a prank flashes through his head then.

“Shorty, you really want to ‘pop your cherry’ for your ‘front’ as well?”*****

“Hmph, of course!” Zhao Zi burps, side eyeing Jack.

Jack raises an eyebrow and reaches for Zhao Zi’s chin, and with a strange smile he says, “Okay, I’ll let you ‘hug’ me!”

“Really? I can really eat you up?”

Zhao Zi swallows with excitement, and all that surfaces in his head is the image of this handsome and tall man being on the receiving end.

“Really, but…” Jack squints at Zhao Zi, and pretends to be very embarrassed as he continues, “Once you’ve eaten me, you have to be responsible to me for life.”

“Of course!”

The young officer proudly puffs out his flat chest, and although he does not have any hard and firm pecs, he’s definitely a man of his word, and he will be responsible towards his food…

Eh, that’s not right…

It’s being responsible to his own ‘man’ for the rest of their lives, he definitely will.

In the room

“Jack… hold on… Jack…. Jack...”

Inside the room, illuminated by only a single light, moans and harsh panting echo.

“What’s wrong?”

Jack knows exactly what’s wrong but still asks, holding onto his lover’s waist, and continuing what he was doing earlier.

Zhao Zi, as he pants, asks suspiciously, “Seems like… hah… hah… seems like something is a little… a little wrong.”

“Which part is wrong? Didn’t you want to top me?”

“Yeah.. earlier, earlier… we agreed… That I would… hah… that I would top you…”

“Shorty, aren’t you on top of me right now?”

“Hnn… nnn… yeah… yeah… ah…”

“Then that’s correct, I’ll continue to let you ‘top’ me then!”

What a cunning smile, as Jack says things that make his face flame.

“Okay… okay…. I, I’ll continue… continue to top you… if it hurts… ha-ah… you have to tell me…”

Zhao Zi imitates the way Jack is always so considerate of his feelings when they’re having sex, and repeats these reminders to Jack. Right now, if someone took out a magical mirror and put it in front of Jack, they would surely be able to see the fox tail behind him swinging from side to side.

“Okay!”

Jack, whose scheming plan succeeded, continues to embrace the shorty he loves so much, eating the drunk police officer so clean he doesn’t even leave any bones behind.

“Ah-”

Jack inserts his hard member upwards into Zhao Zi’s opening, and because of the way that Zhao Zi is sitting across Jack’s laps, the depth at which he penetrates Zhao Zi is even greater than usual. Every thrust accurately hits Zhao Zi’s prostate, and with each thrust, Zhao Zi finds it increasingly difficult to stop himself from making any sounds. Passionate moans sound in the room that belongs solely to them both.

“Ah- Jack… It feels so good… so good… Jack…”

“Me too,” Jack says through gritted teeth, enjoying the sensation of his cock being squeezed in a vice with satisfaction, “It feels very good for me too.”

“Then I’ll… Then I’ll continue… to top you…”******

Zhao Zi repeats the movement that Jack taught him previously. Every time he moves up he squeezes his muscles and tightens up, while relaxing every time he sits back down on Jack’s member.

“Oh god- Shorty you… you… ah...ah…”

Even though it was him who taught Zhao Zi all these tricks in bed, Jack forgot just how much Zhao Zi affects him. Usually, Jack already gets so excited when Zhao Zi responds to him without doing anything special, not to mention a Zhao Zi actually putting everything he knows to good use right now - Zhao Zi is completely messing up his rhythm.

“Ah-hah, Jack… Does this… feel… good?”

“Damn it!” the man who’s quickly losing control curses.

This is no longer an issue of whether it feels good, but a matter of him reaping what he sowed as he’s getting just what he asked for.

Oh god! It’s so tight there!

Cumming prematurely is the greatest blow to a man’s pride, well, that’s alright, it looks like his pride is quickly, almost…

“Ah- hah-”

Jack thrusts upwards into Zhao Zi with all the strength he has, then releases into his lover’s body.

Zhao Zi looks at the man lying and panting on the bed, and a satisfied smile tugs at his lips.

“Hehe, you actually came earlier than me,”

Wow, so the one who’s in charge of ‘topping’ the other does last longer! Every time they had sex before this it was always Zhao Zi who came first, and who expected that he could see Jack’s expression like this, post-orgasm?

Zhao Zi looks at his lover’s face, and makes a weird sound.

“What’re you looking at?” Jack glares at the man who’s sitting on him, pissed off.

“Jack…. What should I do?”

“What is it?”

“I think I…” Zhao Zi says honestly, “I’ve fallen more in love with you.”

Every time he sees an expression on Jack that he’s never seen before, he finds himself falling in love with Jack again. Is this normal? Or is it abnormal?

After receiving a confession so suddenly, Jack smiles and asks, “The next time you drink again, I’ll let you ‘top’ me, okay?”

“Okay!” Zhao Zi nods furiously.

“Just now you ate me, so now, it’s my turn to eat you.”

“Huh? What-”

Zhao Zi is abruptly flung and pressed into the bed with a pull across the back of his waist. His hole, which has turned red and swollen with all the friction, is still filled with Jack’s cock as the man refuses to withdraw.

“Wait a second!”

Didn’t they agree to let him be on top for the whole night? Why is he once again pressed to the bed by Jack?

“Didn’t you say that we have to be fair? I let you ‘top’ me once earlier, and now it’s my turn to ‘top’ you once too, this is what we call fair, right?”

“Nnn…”

In his dizzy state Zhao Zi has the niggling feeling that something isn’t quite right, but he can’t think of how to respond to Jack’s statement either, so all he can do is nod in agreement and acquiesce.

“You’re not wrong, so okay! Since you let me ‘top’ and made me feel so good earlier, I’ll let you ‘top’ me once too, but I’ve got to work tomorrow, so we can only do this once, and no additional rounds.”

“Okay,” Jack grins delighted.

Zhao Zi secretly sticks out his tongue at Jack in his mind. Lucky for him, Zhao Zi smartly voiced out his conditions first, otherwise Jack’s stamina is really equivalent to that of a monster’s and if Zhao Zi let him do as he likes, he won’t get to see the sun tomorrow, instead sleeping until it’s time to eat dinner the next day.

And so with Jack’s member, which has hardened again, they continue onto their second round. Of course, Jack keeps his promise to do Zhao Zi only one more time, and then holds onto an exhausted shorty, slipping into sleep with happiness.

===

The next morning, Zhao Zi wakes up under his alarm’s incessant ringing. He brushes his teeth and washes his face, then rubs at his bleary eyes out of habit as he walks down the stairs. 

“Good morning!” Jack, who’s busy preparing breakfast in the kitchen, turns around to look at the shorty who’s just woken up and greets.

“Good… good morning…”

Zhao Zi smiles happily and sits at the table by the window, waiting for Jack’s breakfast made with love, a few minutes later, his handsome lover brings over freshly made sandwiches and juice, sitting opposite him.

“Does it taste good?”

“It’s delicious, ah!” Zhao Zi exclaims suddenly, recalling what happened last night. 

The tip of his ears turn red, and Zhao Zi grabs onto Jack’s hand. He says, serious, “Don’t worry, I’ll be responsible for you for life.”

“...”

Jack is unable to react immediately, so he just stares at Zhao Zi, dumbfounded. Then he laughs.

“Hey! I’m being serious here, what are you laughing for?”

Jack shakes his head and resists the urge to laugh even more. He deliberately bites at his lower lip and replies, “Then please be responsible for me, for life, okay?”

“Nnn! No problem, I promise!”

Zhao Zi pats at his chest, which has remained flat no matter how he tried to exercise it, and makes a promise to the one he loves.

===

Notes:

*This is exactly how it’s written, word for word translation, I KID U NOT

**I have facepalmed

***Once again WHEN CAN WE STOP WITH THIS DISCOURSE OF TOPPING = AFFIRMATION OF MASCULINITY/IDENTITY 

****Honestly, I cannot imagine Shao Fei saying this 

*****I would like to cry, and not happily

******Wow guys I only realized that Zhao Zi was duped today, like TODAY, six months after I got the novel. I’m a bit mind blown. To be fair I didn’t dare read through the whole thing in my first few reads, but omg, Zhao Zi you are so easily duped. This is such a questionable scene?! But also towards the end my brain just kind of switched off and I’m translating so mechanically like I’m praying my brain doesn’t process any of the words. I’m sorry, I REALLY TRIED. Once again, I hope you didn’t read this, and if you made it all the way down here... if you liked it, cools, if you didn’t, you can cry with me in the comments. 

#history 3: trapped #history3: trapped #history3圈套 #history 3: 圈套 #history3 novel #epilogue 2 guys #translation #sort of dub con? #questionable consent? #zz is drunk in this #would not recommend to read if this severely offends you

[arrowheadproductions]

The Seven + their Hogwarts houses? Perhaps some Percabeth/Jasiper in the mix?

Considering I spend a lot of time conspiring where these guys would be house-wise, I have to go for it. You can disagree with me if you’d like some aren’t totally set in stone, but some are (for me, anyway).

House Parties (Rated K+)

I can’t take the blame for the vigorous debate that’s buzzing all through camp, not this time anyway. A lot of controversy has surrounded me since I showed up 6 years ago. Actually, my existence itself is considered a controversy. So, I know what it’s like to be the black sheep and have everyone arguing over you. It’s kinda been my life for a while. 

This time? Not my fault, because all of you know by now that I’m not the kind of guy that starts a book club, let alone an entire discourse on a particular book. 

Before you ask, no, Annabeth isn’t responsible here either. I’m not just saying that because she’s my girlfriend and she’ll get mad that I documented my blaming her in physical writing for all of you to read. It’s really not her fault this time. 

This? The wildfire that has metaphorically and physically ignited across the campground? That is the fault of one Leo Valdez. Ironically, he didn’t start the physical fire, even though he totally could. That was Clarisse, but I’ll get into that later. 

It all started when Leo was talking about how the camp library had Greek editions of the Harry Potter books, which were popular to pretty much everyone in our age range. Grover compares me to Harry all the freaking time, which can be annoying, but I’ll admit, the parallels exist. I know the Stoll brothers get prank ideas from the twins in those books (which is pretty unfortunate for the rest of us). Get Annabeth talking about the differences between the books and the movies and you have an entire evening’s worth of conversation dedicated to solely that. It’s mostly one-sided, but I like to watch her get all heated and passionate about a subject. Her cheeks flush and her chest heaves from breathing- sorry, easily distracted. 

“Man, this Hogwarts place sounds awesome.” He said as we all lounged in a clump on the beach. 

After everything we’ve been through, you can’t blame us for all hanging out together. No one understands the experiences we’ve endured except each other and we take comfort in that. We all practically laid on top of each other. 

“I’ve never read them.” I said. 

Piper lifted her head from where she’d been laying across Jason’s lap. “The shame!”

“That’s what I said!” Annabeth looked back at me from her position between my legs. 

“I’ve been a little busy with the world almost ending twice.”

“Newsflash, Seaweed Brain, I was there alongside you practically every step of the way. And I still reread the series.”

“Well, you’re a nerd.” I poked her sides so she squirmed. 

“Harry Potter is not nerdy. It’s super mainstream.” Jason said. “Even I’ve read them.”

“It’s my first time reading them.” Leo said. “And I’m digging every second.”

“They actually didn’t have Harry Potter at Camp Jupiter.” Hazel said. She was building a sandcastle and I was super tempted to fill the moat she was making with actual water.

“So, you’ve never read it either.” I said.

“No, I have. It just took me a really long time with the dyslexia.” She shrugged.

“See, Percy? And she’s from the 1930′s.” Piper said.

I stuck my tongue out at her.

“What house do you guys think you’d be in?” Frank asked.

I knew this much about the series. Annabeth talked about it enough for some of it to sink into my thick skull. Grover and Juniper did a couple’s reading of it (I didn’t know that was a thing) and he IM’ed me a couple of times about their reading pace. I made him swear on the River Styx to never give this idea to Annabeth. 

“I’d be a Gryffindor.” He said confidently.

Piper rolled her eyes. “Literally everyone says that.”

“But I’m brave.”

“We could all easily be classified as brave.” Frank said. “There’s more to it than that.”

He sighed and counted on his fingers. “I’d say I’m passionate, trusting, stubborn, honest, and blunt.”

“But you’re also cunning, adaptable, bold, and charming.” Piper said. “And those are all traits of a Slytherin.”

He scrunched his face up. “I don’t want to be them! They’re all doom and gloom. Save that for the son of Hades.”

“Not all Slytherins are bad. Most are good.” Hazel objected. “I think I’m one, after all. That, or Gryffindor, actually.”

“Agreed.” Annabeth said. “I’m a Ravenclaw.”

“Well, duh.” Piper laughed. “If you’d said anything else, I’d call you delusional.”

“That’s the brainy house, right?” I asked.

“It’s more about wisdom, wit, and curiosity, but there are intellectual components involved.” She said.

“So… Yes.”

She nudged me in the ribs, but I wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer. “All right, Wise Girl, I know you’re dying to analyze me to death and pick which house I’d be in.”

“Sad to say you two would be split up, house-wise.” Jason chuckled and wrapped his arm around Piper. “Whereas, Pipes and I would both be Gryffindors.”

“I could definitely see myself in Slytherin too, though.” She pointed out. “The way I use my charmspeak is definitely cunning and using my own abilities/devices to manipulate others is definitely ambitious enough to be considered Slytherin material.”

“Percy and I would do fine as a Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff power couple. We might even both make prefect status.”

“Hufflepuff?” I said. “Why do I have to be in the house that sounds like a Dr. Seuss character?”

“Sounds like Snuffaluffagus to me.” Frank said. “If it helps, I’d probably be Hufflepuff too.”

“See? You’d have a friend.” Piper smirked.

“He’s a Hufflepuff. They make friends super easily.” Annabeth turned to me. “Which you do, by the way.”

“Yeah, but I’m also all of the things Leo said too! And I’m funny.”

“Every house is funny in their own way.” Jason said. “That’s meaningless.”

“Plus, I didn’t realize you were funny.” Leo said. “Like, at all.”

“I’m funny!” I protested.

“I think you’re funny.” Hazel shrugged. “I mean, I can’t always get the humor, but I’m going to chalk that up to time period differences.”

I groaned. Annabeth kissed me on the cheek. “Look at it this way, Seaweed Brain: loyalty and dependability are like your trademark qualities. Bravery, yes, but your fatal flaw is literally the embodiment of the Hufflepuff house.”

It was tough to argue with that. For one thing, I didn’t know enough about any of this to actually come up with some good points of my own. Second, she leaned back so her head was resting against my shoulder and the fresh smell of her shampoo made it hard for me to concentrate on much else.

Leo fell backwards into the sand, book clutched to his chest. Look, I know reading is a popular past-time, but I found it really hard to believe any book could do that.

Frank, on the other hand, did not share this sentiment with me.

“Did you get to the ending?”

“Yeah.” Leo said.

I’d seen the movies before, because I’m not an animal, so I finally felt engaged in the conversation at hand.

“Dumbledorf dying?” I asked and Leo shot up to his feet faster than a jack rabbit. The guy looked like he was ready to murder me and cry all in one go. Everyone gasped and I could feel Annabeth putting some distance between us so she could properly glare at me. I honestly had no idea what I’d did wrong. They all wanted Harry Potter discourse and this was what they got. All I did was try and talk about the book.

“Come on, man!” Jason sighed. 

“Does that not happen? Is he not killed by Snake or whatever his name is?”

“Leo, cover your ears and go finish the series away from this moron.” Piper said.

“HE’S WHAT?”

“Um, did I say his name wrong or something?” I asked, growing very nervous about the way they were all looking at me. Did I have a poisonous spider on my face? Or did I accidentally just unveil a new life-threatening prophecy? Did my breath smell?

“Well, yeah, but that’s not the point!” Annabeth scowled, eyes stormy.

“What is the point?”

“You just…” Leo trembled and it looked like his whole life was falling apart. “You just ruined the series for me.”

“What?”

Everyone groaned.

“That happens in the end of book 6.” Frank said, taking pity on my soul while everyone else continued to alternate between shooting me glares and comforting looks to Leo. 

“And?”

“I’M ON BOOK 1!” Leo tugged at his hair.

My eyes widened. “Oh… So you didn’t know… Oh, crap.”

“Yeah, oh crap! That’s one of the biggest moments in the series.” Annabeth said.

“He said he got to the ending! I thought he meant the ending of the whole series.”

“You didn’t even read the books!” Leo said.

“I’m sorry!” I said. “I saw the movies and-”

“-Oh, you’re one of those people.” Hazel sighed.

“I’m-I am never talking books with you guys ever again.” Leo said. “Not until I finish them anyway.”

“And we can just do it while Percy’s asleep or something.” Jason said. “Just to be safe.”

“Or you could all just watch the movies like normal people.” I suggested.

“Nope, still too dangerous. He’s spoiled shows for me before too.” Annabeth said. “Remember Dexter?”

“I saved you from having to watch that firsthand. That was noble,” I emphasized. 

It didn’t seem to work, because she rolled her eyes. Still, she didn’t resist when I brought her hand to my mouth to kiss her knuckles. Instead, she laced our fingers. In our time of being together, she’d gotten really good at seeming annoyed with me while also finding it in her to be affectionate.

“What is this, book club?” Sneered Clarisse as she stormed the beaches. 

“Apparently, yes.” I said. “Please tell me you want to duel or beat the crap out of me or something more fun?”

She rolled her eyes. “Why does Valdez look like he’s already crapped himself?”

“Because Percy told me Dumbledore dies?”

Her eyes widened and her cheeks flushed. “He what?”

“He told me that Dumbledore is killed by Snape!”

She stormed forward and for a moment, I thought she was going to kill me out of anger, so I tried to protect Annabeth, but it was nice to know that my girlfriend didn’t want me to die over this, because she seemed pretty set on staying in front of me anyway.

Instead, Clarisse grabbed Leo by the shirt and hoisted him upwards so his feet were dangling. We all sat stunned for a moment and probably all very confused at the change of events.

“I HAVEN’T GOTTEN THERE YET!” She hollered in his face and I pitied him, because that probably did not smell good.

All of the color drained from Leo’s face in realization that in the wake of his own trauma, he’d just done the same thing to Clarisse. In an effort to repay him for ruining a hallmark book series for him, I decided it was only fair to divert Clarisse’s wrath to me. I was fairly used to it, anyway

“I’m just surprised you can read, Clarisse.” I said as I stood up from my tangled seating with Annabeth, who was looking up at me in confusion and also with a “I like your face not pounded in” expression.

Her mean mug turned to me and she turned as red as a tomato. “What did you say to me, Jackson?”

“I mean, we would have invited you, but we didn’t feel like sticking solely to picture books.” This was incredibly ironic of me to say, because I usually stuck to comic books, which were basically just picture books.

She dropped Leo into the sand and barreled towards me.

“See you guys later!” I called over my shoulder as she chased me. She resembled the Minotaur when she was angry and determined like this. I figured now might now be the time to bring that to her attention.

And that, my friends, is how Clarisse ended up starting a fire in an attempt to sacrifice me to the Gods. They didn’t accept the sacrifice, because they prefer regular food and all feared I’d be a bit too fishy for their tastes.

And no matter what anyone else tells you, it was all Leo’s fault.

#pjo #ap's fics #my fics #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percabeth #jasiper #annabeth chase #jason grace #piper mclean #hazel levesque #frank zhang #leo valdez #clarisse la rue #harry potter #hp #gryffindor #ravenclaw #hufflepuff #slytherin #percy could be a gryffindor hufflepuff or slytherin to me tbh #but he's just so damn selfless and honest and loyal that it had to be hufflepuff in the end #annabeth is a ravenclaw no question #Piper is a slytherin to me moreso because of how she is able to manipulate people and how cunning she is #Jason is obvs a gryffindor #Leo probs fits the mold of gryffindor or slytherin actually #Idk about Hazel tbh #or frank really

[feral-flower-child]

@untrustworthyglitch made a sweet fic/discourse here. I decided to expand on one of the topics. Yes it's Darkiplier. Yes I know I'm trash.

~~~

The day started off ordinary enough. Dark arose, stepped into his usual elegant attire, and went to the office building that the egos had made their home. So less than an hour later when he found himself on the wrong end of a gun, he was more than a little surprised at the circumstances.

Dark had teleported into the building as he always did, checking into his office before heading down to the board room that the other egos met in to start their day. He walked in on Ed Edgar showing off a gun to Bim and Dr. Iplier, holding it as if it was a prized artifact or a family heirloom. As far as Dark could tell, it looked like it had been retrieved from a dumpster in the grimiest part of the city. The metal was flecked with dirt and possible blood stains and circular scratches lining the muzzle.

"Do you think it can ah shoot straight?" Bim asked politely, intent on staying as far from the weapon as possible without being rude.

Ed Edgar didn't seem to notice the TV host's aversion to the weapon, instead scoffing at his lack of faith in the weapon. "Shoot straight? Why of course it can shoot straight let me show y'all." Ed twisted suddenly and pointed the gun at a potted plant near where Dark stood on the other side of the room. But when Ed pulled the trigger, the bullet didn't hit it's intended target.

Instead it found a home deep in Dark's chest. The other egos stopped moving, expecting an explosion of anger and aura from their leader, but instead they were met with his pained screams as blue and red light started to break through the bullet hole. Within seconds the warring colors blind the entire room and when it finally fades away, the egos are greeted with an even stranger sight.

Lying on the ground where Dark had stood were two people. A dark haired woman wearing a dress that looked like it was made of stars sat up first, the soft blue aura surrounding her flickering slightly. The man next to her looked exactly like Dark had except that his hair was slicked back and his aura was just red. They both shook their heads, then looked around quizzically at the group of people watching them with equal curiosity.

There was a tense silence in the room until Bim asked, "Uh who are you?"

The woman answered first, her voice soft and almost lyrical. "I…remember that my name is Celine. Yes, Celine." Then she turns to her counterpart, and said, "And I know you…you're Damien. I know you."

The man shook his head again, his hands flexing into fists as if to grab something that's not there. "I think so. My name is Damien. Damien." Damien looks up at the gathering of egos that look like him and asked, "Who are all you?"

Ed, Bim, and the Doctor glanced around at each other before introducing themselves.

"Do you think you could tell us what happened?" Damien asked, his nose scrunched up in thought. "The…the last thing I can remember is a black void and you." He looked at Celine. "You were there. And…and Y/N. Y/N." He murmured the name a few times.

The egos look at each other in confusion, the name having no meaning to them. Then a ruckus is heard outside the room before Wilford Warfstache burst in with his usual amount of peppiness. It ceased however as soon as he saw the two people standing in the room. They too looked surprised to see him, Damien and Celine exclaiming, "Colonel?!" at the same time.

"Who are you? You…you look familiar." Wilford clutched his head, as if pain was splitting down the middle of it.

"It's me! It's Celine and Damien!" Celine said, rushing forward to hold the man, Damien not far behind. "Colonel, don't you remember us?"

He just muttered, shaking his head as he mumbled under his breath, "Its a joke it's a joke, they're not dead no no no they're not dead. Jokes haha jokes, they loved to prank me. No no no not dead, not dead. I didn't kill them, not dead."

"William!" Damian said a little harsher than intended, but it made the crazed man look up at him. "Look at me. Look at us, we're not dead. We're alive. You didn't kill us. We're here, we're safe."

"You're alive, you're real. You're alive, you're real." The man repeated this until he rushed forward unexpectedly, capturing the two people in one large embrace. "You're alive! You're alive!"

There they stood, huddled in an embrace of tears until Dr. Iplier coughed awkwardly from the other side of the room. The trio pulled apart messily, but they still clung to each other loosely, as if terrified that if they let go they'd lose one of them. Damien and Celine's auras were glowing brightly against the white walls of the room.

"I need some answers, stat," the doctor said while pulling out a pager. He hit the call button before speaking into the small device, "Paging the Googles. Googles to the boardroom. Repeat, paging the Googles. Googles to the boardroom. Thank you."

Within a minute, the Googles walked into the room in a synchronized single file line. The four of them looked at the huddled trio before turning to the group of egos. "W-hy is Darkip-lier split into his two entities?" Blue asked.

When the group gave them a blank stare, Yellow sighed. "Th-is information is v-very import-important for us to have."

Finally Ed stepped forward. "I swear, I didn't mean t'shoot 'im." While he spoke, he pulled out the scratched and dirty gun from his belt loop and passed it off to the nearest Google, who happened to be Red. Red examined it briefly before he passed it to Green.

Blue then turned to the trio and stared at them. Finally Yellow spoke. "T-his gun is-is very po-owerful and-and when it hit D-Darkiplier it cau-sed his two so-uls to split. The-y need to bec-ome one again. Soon."

"Wait what! I…I'm remembering what happened. The amount of time I was stuck in that-that broken body! I don't want to go back! I won't!" Celine's blue aura turned a deep color as she spoke, Damien's form flickering next to her.

"This is exac-tly what I mean. You two are in-in-instable without each other no-w. You spent so l-ong-long together that now you can--'t function without each other. If you don't go together again then-then you'll die f-or-ever." Green stated, a blank stare sweeping over the room.

Celine and Damien feel their friend tighten his grip on their arms as they stare at each other. A silent agreement goes through their gaze before they turn back to the Googles. "Fine," Damien said, his arm snaking around his friends' shoulders. "Fine, we'll do it."

"Good," the four Googles said at once. "All you need to do is hold hands and will your souls back into D-amien's body."

The two let go of Wilford's arms, his eyes pleading at them to not. Celine cups his face and kisses him on the forehead. "Don't worry. This way we'll be with you no matter what alright? Just remember–we are real. We aren't dead. You didn't kill us."

"You aren't dead. Not dead." His eyes were already starting to glass over, and the sight of it almost broke Damien and Celine. But they held it together.

They took hands and stared into each other's eyes, Celine using what little magic she had left to propel her spirit back into Damien's body. A soft glow of purple filled the room, and when it was gone, a man stood in the place where two people had been. Dark looked up and stared confusedly at the group.

"What the hell are you staring at?" he asked gruffly. "Get to work, we have shit to do." The egos scattered as if released from a spell, rushing to get to their stations until only Wilford and Dark stood in the room.

"Dark…Is Celine and Damien…are they with you right now?" Wilford asked. The grey ego turned to his friend and gave a soft smile.

"Yeah. They are. And they want me to tell you that they miss you already and that they love you."

~~~

HOLY SHIT THAT TOOK TOO LONG OMG. MAINLY BC MY APP CRASHED AND ERASED IT ALL RIGHT AT THE END. BUT I'M HAPPY WITH IT??? Okay now I gotta do homework because I put it off to write this 😅

Tags/ @xdamienplier @danandphilsmom @colinthehatter

#darkiplier #i'm darkiplier trash #the seer celine #celine the seer #mayor damien #damien the mayor #markiplier egos #ed edgar #googliplier #bim trimmer #dr iplier #reaper writes

[maedarakat]

Ruffnut + 💀

Hiccup looked worriedly out toward the tree line that surrounded the Clubhouse, shielding his eyes from the setting sun. “Okay, this might be bad,” he muttered, and the burble from his dragon nearby echoed his concern. “She’s been gone far too long.”

He walked from the balcony back to the fire pit table, where the other riders were watching a Maces and Talons game, Astrid versus Dagur. Tuff wasn’t scanning the horizon worriedly at all, more interested in the game.

He made a sound of disappointed protest when Hiccup tugged him slightly away from it.

“Aren’t you wondering where your other half is, Tuff? Ruffnut been gone all day.”

“Don’t fret, H,” Tuff shrugged easily, glancing over distractedly as Astrid exclaimed in frustration.  “Ruffnut’s out on a soul searching errand, to find her inner nut. My poor sister has such a thick, hard shell, that could take days. If not weeks.”

Hiccup frowned. “That’s what I’m worried about. Remember what happened the last time you went searching for your ‘inner nut’? You came back bitten after a wolf attacked you.”

“Uh, no, it was a Lycanwing, remember?” Snotlout called over. He laughed and scooted closer to Dagur. “I totally convinced that knucklehead he was gonna turn into a were-dragon.”

“Really, Snotman? Then what happened?”

Snotlout opened his mouth and then shut it, remembering that tale hadn’t ended in his favor.  “He got better,” the dark-haired boy muttered, sulkily.

“Fear not, Ruff is definitely rough enough to handle anything she may encounter out there. If not, well, we’d all hear her scr—“ 

Tuff stopped mid sentence and suddenly turned white as a sheet.

Hiccup was about to ask him what was wrong, but then all the dragons snapped their focus in the direction of the woods, Toothless growling warily. Just barely, over the sudden silence, there was a thin terrible sound - like a dying rabbit.

Tuffnut ran for the stairs, nearly knocking Hiccup over. Toothless caught him from falling as he shouted and together they ran after Tuff, who was moving faster than Hiccup had ever seen him. Judging from the sound of the footsteps charging behind them, Hiccup figured everyone in the Clubhouse had come barreling after to see what was wrong.

They found Tuff embracing a shaking, babbling form. Ruff’s eyes were wild, hair all undone out of her braids, and there were twigs in it - making it look like she had antlers. She was half-shrieking something, as Tuff was trying to talk to her soothingly, not having much luck.

“We have to get off the island! We’re all gonna die!” She screamed, shaking her brother violently by the collar of his vest. He grabbed her in a hug that was part headlock.

“Calm down, sis! What in Loki’s name did you see out there?”

“Something awful! Something hideously terrifying! And it’s coming straight for us!” Ruff screamed in his ear. Tuff winced, and Hiccup decided to try and give him a hand.

“Ruffnut, whatever it is, you’re safe now. We can face this thing together.”

She angrily broke free, flipped her hapless brother to the ground and stepped over his body with a crunch to get in Hiccup’s face.

“Oh, oh, don’t you even think about patronizing me! You got us all into this mess in the first place - your adventuring, one-legged, tousle-haired shenanigans have finally doomed us all!”

Hiccup just blinked, completely at a loss.

Brushing himself off, Tuff flashed him an apologetic smile, but before he could try to diffuse her, Snotlout flew to Hiccup’s defense.

“Yeah right! I know an epic prank when I see one. You’re both totally faking this, and let me guess, somethings gonna come ‘charging’ out of these bushes to hit me in the face, but it’s gonna be attached to a wire, and it’s probably gonna be something lame like a stuffed bunny with deer horns on its head!

“And you’ll both laugh and say ‘Loki’d!’ and maybe one person will think it’s funny. There, I solved it, now can we all go back to the match already? This is all so predictable.”

Tuff and Ruff stared at him, then Tuff looked hopefully toward the bushes, grinning widely. When nothing jumped out to smack Snotlout in the face, he turned back to his sister and put his hands on his hips. “Well, now I’m disappointed.”*

“I’m serious, bro! This isn’t a joke! I saw our death itself reflected in that thing’s eyes, and it’s coming straight for us!”

“Neat!” commented Dagur, after a long tension-filled silence. Heather rolled her eyes and jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow.

At that point, something swept unseen across the leaves in the forest - the sound grabbing everyone’s attention - especially their dragons. Sleuther and Toothless took point as the others flanked their riders, baring their teeth and growling. The noise and small flurries of movement seemed like it was being gusted toward them until all at once it stopped.

A ball of white fluff with dove-like wings, rabbit-like ears and a tufted tail leapt out of the darkness, landing before them with large liquid black eyes glistening inquisitively. It tilted its head and the other dragons quieted but remained tense.

The fluffy dragon went rawr at them. It sounded more like a kitten sneezing than anything remotely threatening.

“Awww,” Heather and Fishlegs both cooed at once, but Ruffnut waved her hands in alarm.

“No, no, no, don’t fall for it like I nearly did! It’s a murderer! Every single one of them!” she yelled, half climbing onto her brother’s shoulders. “Murderers!” Ruff shrieked, clinging to Tuffnut’s face.

“Sis?” he whimpered. “Can’t breathe.”

“Ruff, it’s amazing! An entirely new class of dragons! I didn’t know they could grow feathers like birds! We’ve seen dragons with many different scale types, but never feathers!” Hiccup reached out his hand to the small dragon.

It trilled sweetly, sniffed his hand, then promptly launched itself at Hiccup’s face, mouth suddenly open too wide with far too many teeth. He shouted in alarm, falling back on his ass and Toothless jumped in to smack the thing away with his tail fin before it could bite Hiccup.

Suddenly the woods were full of ominous rustling, clicking, and angry chirps.

“Guys, I don’t say this very often, but - uh - RUN AWAY!” Dagur yelled and turned to follow his own advice, yanking both his sister and Fishlegs after him. The others followed suit, Tuff still carrying Ruff, as the forest seemed to explode.

An entire herd of angry murderous puffballs chased after the group as they took to their dragons and to the relative safety of the air and higher buildings. The little dragons couldn’t get very high with their cute cherub wings but they certainly made up for it by maliciously snapping at the air just beneath them.

“I told you so!” Ruff yelled, jumping from her brother’s back to Barf’s neck.

“Yeah, you did,” Hiccup sighed, while Toothless snarled and hissed at the frothing flock below. “So while we’re up here, who wants to name them?”

“Oh my gods, is he serious?” Snotlout asked flatly. Everyone’s expressions answered him in volumes.

“Ooh, I’ll start!” Tuff volunteered. He pointed below. “That one’s Monty, that’s Mr. Praline, we could name that one Python -“

“I vote for death-pigeons,” Astrid volunteered.

“Wensleydale, Mr. Badger, Arthur -“

Hiccup sighed, supposing he’d brought the resulting snark and discourse on himself. Well, at least they were all safe more or less, and hopefully the little dragons dispersed before too long.

“Ruff? Tuff? I hope you know neither of you are ever allowed to go searching for your inner nut again?”

The twins glanced at each other and sheepishly gave him two thumbs up.

#rtte #ruffnut #tuffnut #httyd

[violetsystems]

#personal

Like most vacations since last year, I don’t really do much of anything exciting.  The entire last year I took a week off every two months.  Part of it I stayed home cleaning and decluttering my stuff.  I’ve been living in the same place for about a decade now.  Every year there’s something new to conquer.  Lately it’s mostly been about enjoying my time alone here.  I literally cannot leave the house without someone trying to hijack my time.  I wish I could explain it better but it just comes with the territory.  Some people become famous.  Other people become this sort of fixture or anchor.  In some ways I’ve thought of it as developing an infrastructure or ecosystem around me.  How I spend money.  Where I spend money.  What personal information I share.  What I keep to myself.  There’s a lot of life I have to declutter outside of my apartment on a daily basis.  A friend from China messaged me yesterday to vent about being quarantined.  The banks were closed until Monday.  There’s a lot of people trying to get a read off of me for any number of current events.  Politics lately I have tuned out from completely.  Mostly for my own peace of mind.  Sometimes for my own safety.  Too many people have gotten the wrong idea about things I’ve done particularly when it comes to the arts.  I find nobody ever really asks you if you are cool with any of it.  You just end up in public in a vulnerable space and someone is there to manipulate it.  It doesn’t help I walk everywhere.  You can see me coming from a mile away literally.  Which means that sometimes I don’t really like leaving my house at all in Chicago.  Especially after so many years of people pulling these sort of art pranks on me to get me to ‘engage.’  I spent years trying to engage society.  I spent money on thirteen or fourteen plane tickets to South Korea, Japan and China.  I volunteered for a Korean American Chamber of Commerce three years in a row after work.  Years later Im a fragment of my deeds warped by whatever dark matter forces are at work in Capitalist America.  When people who barely know me insinuate I don’t do enough for the cause I respond mostly with a yawn.  I am literally too tired to focus or argue on explaining why I disengaged from everything and everyone.  I didn’t shut myself out completely.  It’s a tenuous balance of being hyper alone behind closed doors and hyper visible when I walk out to check my mail.  Being famous to me was always described like this though it seemed it had a payoff.  I’ve seen literally nothing other than my salary which last time I checked is about actual work and not fame.  So many people leech off my name but have never reached out to see if I was ok.  And I’ve largely been ok by forgetting about all of it and walking the hell away from the discourse.  Like constantly attending a lecture about your own life without any q and a.  What am I supposed to do?  Sit in the audience and blow snot bubbles while you get every single fact and intention wrong about what I’ve done my whole life.  I’d rather sit at home and play Hearthstone while I intercept my pet’s food deliveries for the month.  GPS is magic.  So is waiting outside for your packages.

I’ve had to come up with elegant solutions to real world problems.  Social engineering when applied to your own life can fix a lot of unfixable shit with other people.  Society is rubber banded together with money most of the time in America.  People try to guilt you into community all the time.  But the rate of return varies wildly on the quality of people you surround yourself with.  There are people out here I can only rely on to a certain point.  And then there’s me who isn’t ever interested in giving up the control I worked very hard to achieve in my life.  I wake up in my surroundings every day.  I pay the bills.  I feed the cats.  I sit at the kitchen table and drink amazing coffee while I play online games at my kitchen table.  When I go to New York it’s much of the same except in public.  There’s a reason why I don’t do that much in Chicago anymore.  It gets abused.  The return on me leaving my house and being vulnerable has been zero.  I still sit here in complete obscurity while people debate my social value behind my back.  A few of my friends on here know the entirety of the charade.  And it probably starts to sound to all of us like a dystopian horror novel unraveling.   I shaved my head again.  Some people might think that’s drastic.  The truth is my hair now matches my passport.  It’s a weird sort of collision of nostalgia for me.  People keep referencing multiple decades of how they know me.  Different versions of how I’m important to society.  All of them nothing to do with me currently.  I feel like nobody really knows who I am except me.  And in some ways I’ve matured enough to be ok with all of that.  Including the part where I tell people to silently fuck off and do my own thing.  The simple truth is I’m not intimidated by anything anymore.  I’m bored with all the talk.  I’m bored with all the simulation and theory.  I’ve lived my life and I’m sick of having to question it to enjoy it.  Some people make hard choices.  For years everything sucked.  And now I sit in my fish bowl every morning counting my blessings and planning my spending.  I read the news and it makes less and less sense to me.  Subtle things mean more to me.  Like how I used to want to compost and never could find a worm.  Somehow magically I found one wiggling through my window garden.  Now I have a whole worm army.  I fed an outdoor cat for years and now it sleeps quietly at my side at night.  I feel more isolated by humanity than nature.  Which is a really fucked up thing to realize when the planet is overrun by human greed.  People look for signs in other places.  Soothsayers tell you whatever you want to hear in whatever way suits them.  Nature speaks in different ways.  I don’t particularly identify as a druid.  Christians call me a witch when I randomly crash their protests outside of planned parenthood.  I’m more of a warlock at the end of the day.  Locking myself out of all this bullshit once and for all.  One mandatory social quarantine at a time.

It’s not that I fear society and what it can do to me.  I’m way past that.  The matrix said it best.  Humanity is it’s own virus wreaking havoc on ecosystems because it can’t control itself.  Everybody needs more.  Nobody knows what they want.  Nobody has to courage to stand their ground and wait in protest. I sometimes wonder whether I’m going to rot away here alone.  I visit New York too much for that to be a reality.  And so the less I question myself the better. There’s no shortage of people fishing for information out of me.  I’ve written it all here for years with little or no hesitation and people still don’t get it.  They don’t want to get it.  They don’t want to let me be me.  They want to attach year after year to me to weigh me down.  Every year they weren’t there shows even worse these days.  I’m not the one being difficult.  I literally deal with irresponsible bullshit every day in every corner of my life.  At a certain point, I treat everything like I treat alcohol.  I walked away from it completely.  I didn’t seek help.  I helped myself.  Sometimes the minimalism of isolation is getting yourself back to zero.  Restoring balance to the force within.  I am moderately comfortable in my own skin.  Sometimes I’m not.  I spend a lot of time in my kitchen doing pilates and yoga in an app.  I used to over exercise.  Like I was fighting against all the chaos in my life.  Things have kind of settled down to a more efficient clip.  Yesterday I spent most of the day waiting for packages at home.  I got a lot of laundry done.  I relaxed and enjoyed my coffee.  I got ready for New York without having to struggle with my messenger bag and the bus.  Everybody is the first to point at me when it comes to supporting these brands.  How I as the consumer become the target to teach a lesson.  I lost my car over a decade ago.  I paid the entire thing off.  I had to leave it with my ex-girlfriend to get her out of my life completely.  It was nowhere near fair.  I still get robocalls about my car’s extended warranty.  And yet here I am using the bus and the train.  Gas prices don’t register to me.  My driver’s license is expired.  My head is also shaved in that one.  Somethings have changed.  Other things have not.  Nobody gives me the respect I deserve.  Nobody knows what I’ve been through and never acted like they cared enough to find out.  So here I am done with most of it.  Burnt out on everyone’s best intentions and empty words.  It’s just me out here really at the end of the day.  The confusing and sad thing is that this is for the best right now.  That as much as things are crumbling around me I’m still always standing my ground.  Sipping good coffee in my kitchen or in Brooklyn looking out at the street knowingly.  It doesn’t really matter what I do these days.  I just have to keep being me.  Only I know how to do that.  You can either enjoy and respect that.  Or you can know how it feels to be forgotten about.  Because I’ve got way too much trouble on my mind to bring any more baggage into my next life.  The one where I’m happy and loved by someone who deserves my attention.   That’s the one I’m currently living.  <3 Tim

[camilecipher]

Not Yours --Lancelot Fanfic--Galtean Au--

Chapter one: free soul

The Altean crossed the kitchen with as much subtlety as he could. Hunk, an apprentice chef, went with him to avoid suspicion. Both wore long white aprons and walked hurriedly. Lance kept his head down and continuously threw the huge chef's hat forward, in fear.

The prince managed not to pounce on the door when they were in front of it. This was the only exit where there were no guards, nothing could go wrong, he had to calm down.

Once they were finally out of the palace, they looked at each other with complicity and ran to the stables. Lance felt a huge satisfaction growing more and more inside his chest, his heart roaring adrenaline with every meter. He saw the horses and their friend Pidge, waiting for them with three bags already loaded on the backs of the animals.

" You took too long! "the girl said, getting on the lowest horse.

Lance felt a tingling in his stomach, like a child about to make a prank. The feeling mixed with the fantasy of freedom. He was a whirlwind of emotions, unstoppable, ready to face whatever it took to defend his rights. This was his last chance.

"Allura didn't let me out! "The prince defended himself "She insisted on trying me once again on the suit for ... that thing

He was not even able to pronounce the word wedding. His friends did't want to talk about it either. In any case, they would not allow that ceremony to take place. It was a fact that if it came true, Lance's life would be ruined. No more parties, no more movie fridays, no evenings playing "monsters and mana". Who once was the brave and joyful heir to the throne would become the shadow of her husband. The shadow of a beast.

Lance and Hunk got rid of the uncomfortable uniforms and left them behind a pile of hay, with some luck nobody would see them in days. Enough time to leave Altea. Pidge had contacts, his brother knew a lot of people. The plan was infallible. They would go to the village, then would stay at a fisherman's house that night and the next one they would meet a pirate at the bar, whom they had already paid to take them to a kingdom where the Galras and Altean soldiers could never find them.

The heir got on the horse. His body wobbled a little, but he knew how to keep his balance. He looked at his friends with a smile.

"Thank you guys, I don't know what I would do without you.

They returned the gesture.

He took the reins in his hands, a chill ran down his back. He was afraid Afraid to leave his home and his people, to defraud them all. He felt his eyes burning. He did not allow himself to shed a single tear, he had to do this. Even if it felt  like betrayal, even if he knew it wasn't right. A part of him was doubting too much about this decision.

"LANCE!

He turned around, giving a start. He felt his dreams crumble in front of him.

The group was surrounded by a lot of guards. The horses neighed, appalled. Lance did not make a sound. He listened to the distant voices of his friends making excuses. Something inside him began to fade.

He looked straight ahead, chin held high. Alfor was looking into his eyes, it was not necessary to use words to say what he felt. Disappointment.

------

The door closed tight behind them.

The prince remained standing in the middle of the room, turning his back on his father, with his arms crossed over his chest and always with a straight back and an enviable dignity.

The king watched him a few seconds, with a terrible desire to squeeze his little one in his arms, protect him from all evil. But a leader must put his people as a priority. He approached the young man and put a hand on his shoulder.

"We have already discussed this. " His voice was like a sigh. Off, tired.

There was no answer.

"This is for the greater good, my boy. I swear I hate this as much as you do, but sometimes we must make sacrifices.

He expected a torturous silence, a shout of protest, perhaps even a cry. He expected everything but what he heard.

"I know, father.

The prince turned around and blinked at his elderly father. All he needed was the tender embrace of his father, the fraternal warmth that always managed to comfort him. Alfor did not want things go this way. He dreamed of a peace alliance, but he didn't think that this would be the price. The happiness of his boy.

------

"I'm so sorry dude, I can not believe we failed.

Hunk sat next to his friend, who looked at himself in the mirror, adding the final details.

He wore a thin gold crown with a small crystal embedded in the center and it, neck and arms were covered by jewelry of the same metal. He wore a white tunic down to his ankles and golden sandals.

"It's okay Hunk, I guess it's my duty. I will do this and I will not try to escape anymore. I'm too tired, I just want it to happen at once.

The bells rang in the distance.

"It's your signal, Lancey" announced Allura, her younger sister.

The boy sighed. He looked at his two friends and smiled at them with melancholy. He got up from the chair and took the hand of his sister, who squeezed his, in a vain attempt to make him feel accompanied.

They walked down a long corridor, followed by Hunk, Pidge, and a few servants.

The prince did not look at anyone as he moved along the long carpet, only to the front. He walked to the dome, always worthy. He stood in front of his fiancé and dedicated himself to study him while the priest recited a long discourse about peace and love.

He was short to be a galra, but he was still a head taller than the Altean. He had blue eyes, a blue as strong as the paint that his mother gave him years ago, when they were happy. He also wore a tunic, but black. His crown and jewels were silver. He wore his long white hair pulled back in a braid. He was handsome, he had to admit it. Pointed nose and appetizing lips.

He was somewhat distracted, so he did not listen when it was his turn to say the vows. There was some laughter in the background, the prince of the Galras did what he could to hide his smile, but could not prevent the corners of his lips rose a little. The priest had to repeat the instruction. Lance said his part, ashamed of himself. That man can not seem handsome, he's a monster. He would not fall into his trap, never caress those tempting hairs, much less kiss the seductive skin of his now lifelong companion.

He was free, brave and decided. He would not be tamed by an arrogant prince.

No, he was not going to fall.

-----------------

Alright alright!! I like how it's going. You can also find this fanfic in my Wattpad: CamileCipher

And maybe, in a few weeks (if i'm lucky), i'll post it in Ao3

#voltron #voltron legendary defenders #vld #vld lance #vld keith #vld shiro #vld pidge #vldau #vld galra #vld galtean au #vld sheith #sheith #Lancelot #lancelot #lance mcclain #voltron lance #lancelot vld #hidge #vld hidge #vld allura #allura #altean lance #voltron altean #altean pidge #altean au #galra keith #galra empire #galra shiro #voltron galra #galra

[nurseyydex]

consider this: SMH & one direction

i just wanna talk about smh and 1d ok im so sorry this wasnt supposed to be this long i have no control 

dex grew up with sisters (let me have this he has a bunch of sisters ok) so not only was he completely unable to escape one direction he was not allowed to get away with any sort of ‘bands that have mainly young female fanbases are not real music’ misogyny that lots of teen boys and adult males have 

so he likes 1d he doesnt advertise but he had to listen to them a lot so he knows their entire discography and what they have some good songs ok bro 

so yeah they find their way into his workout playlists so fucking what man they’re fucking hype songs 

his fave is niall bc hes chill and just wants to drink beer and play his guitar and listen to dad rock and he’s irish (dex is irish and is grandma loves niall bc she’s irish and what a sweet young lad) he’s not like die hard niall stan but he knows all of the 1d discourse from his sisters debating (im willing to listen to other opinions my back up is louis bc hes a punk) 

he save up one year (and got help from his fam) to get tickets for his sisters to see a wwa concert as a birthday/christmas/every holiday present bc theyre expensive and they dont have a lot of money 

his mom technically bought the tickets he just helped pay for them and the girls surprised him with a ticket for him to come with (mama poindexter: well i cant let them go alone who’s gonna watch them you have to go make sure they dont get arrested for doing something stupid) dex played it cool but it was such a fun concert and so fun to hang out with his sisters tooo

nursey now is a goddamn hipster u cant tell me he isnt into a bunch of british alternative bands and bc of his brit music phase he knew about one direction from the very start at the x factor stage (he definitely mentions this all the goddamn time when they start becoming popular but he chills out through the years)

hes been to at least one concert for every tour (he even got tickets to the madison square garden show) - he went to every concert with his sister but it was his idea to go and she was just there to keep an eye on him

also a big reason he got into the band was zayn like heres a pakistani muslim boy who’s super talented with these white dudes and that representation is super important (i also hc nursey as muslim or at least partially but zayn is a brown muslim boy killing it so yeah its awesome) 

but nurseys fave tho is harry especially when harry is a total hoe with long hair and jewelry and those red carpet looks like nursey is in love but also in awe bc those sparkly boots and that floral suit like those are iconic Looks™ and nursey loves it bc gender isnt real and he loves hoe looks (zayn is like 1.5 tho bc nursey is in love)

nursey tries to serenade dex with little things one day when they’re chilling by the pond on the grass and dex punches him bc nursey is making him emo even when he knows dex doesnt have emotions (in public in front of people who can see him cry)

bitty likes them they’re no beyonce but theyre fun and attractive and yeah hes gonna have some fun dancing to them he isn’t really up with all the drama and disc*urse until the boys have 1d nights and they watch this is us and the concert dvds bc he learns a lot 

he loves 2013 era harry and all the time liam (that boy is thicc and bitty 100% does not swoon)

holster like come tf on holster loves them he unironically and passionately loves one direction completely unashamed he does not care for your opinions and no one makes fun of him bc he’s a 6′4 fucking big ass hockey player who could drop kick u across campus if he wanted to

he claims he doesnt have a fave but he would die for all of them 

his fave rotates seasonally and he has a different fave for each era 

he went to the tmh tour and he’s gone to every tour since - he goes with his sisters bc its a bonding topic for them he sits at the edge of the floor or at the end of a row on the sides bc hes so tall he feels so bad and he tries to stay out of the way of the little girls behind him but hes nice to them and talks to them and so they like him even if hes a giant

but really he and his sisters are so close bc they have a lot of similar interests and they talk about pop culture stuff and its hard to keep intouch when hes away so much but they have group chats about 1d and tv shows and stuff so its so nice for them to keep up a strong bonding time 

ransom is a britney bitch and holster dragged him into 1d. he’s in it for the memes and the drama really. (he likes the songs and thinks its fun but he wouldnt have been a fan and gone to concerts if it wasnt for holtz)

holster takes him to the wwa concert and they have a blast 

holster also drags his ass to see this is us opening night (they both cry)

chowder just loves everyone and he doesnt understand why people hate 1d (or other pop artists with majority young female fan bases that ppl hate bc misogyny) when theyre so fun he’s not an active /fan/ until smh has team bonding nights involving one direction jam sessions and concert dvd watching and drunk history

on such 1d nights they put on one of the dvds and it accidentally turns into a drinking game (mainly drinking bc this part of my god did u see that !!! THAT NOTE CHANGE !!!! and ZAYN WHY !!!! and other painful parts) and some of them *cough* nursey dex and holster *cough* get possibly the most drunk they ever get bc of this 

theres loud awful drunk singing along and some sobbing (this is definitely not based off of any sort of personal experience whatsoever nope never done this before) 

after the movie when everyone is so drunk they talk about 1d history which is how the veterans teach the others about the exciting drama and disc*urse  

lardo is a bad bitch who is tough as fuck and manages a division I mens hockey team and every single one of them is afraid of her. AND she would not let any bro tease her for liking one direction bc why the fuck not. 

she has plenty of their songs thrown in arting playlists and in pump up playlists 

and she knows theres nothing better to cheer holster up when he’s having a rough day than a 1d dance sesh 

dont forget where you belong is the first song on her team bonding playlist bc its a love song to ur bandmates which transfers very well to love songs to ur teammates 

shitty unapologetically loves 1d and boy bands and girl bands and he supports all things that young girls love but are not taken seriously bc girls like them 

he’s written at least 3 papers/projects on the misogyny surrounding young girls and their interests and involvement in fandom and also boybands (he tries to fight all guys who disrespect girls’ interests and the power of teenage girls)

he’ll randomly show up to a 1d night bc obvi he’s in that gc and he’s ready to party and express emotions and dance and talk drama 

he loves harry bc “THAT FLOW MAN!!! HIS FLOW IS SO SICK!!!”

he cried when harry posted the pic of the hair he chopped off and cried when he saw the another man shoot where harry was defying all sorts of societal norms it was beautiful and his flow is still so nice even this short its ok it’ll grow back better than before

one friday night the lax bros sneak over to try to prank the haus and peak in the window and see half of the hockey team in the living room drunk off their ass singing loudly to a one direction concert on the tv - holster and nursey jumping around attempting to dance along, ransom clinging to bitty on the floor crying about a ‘hiatus’, bitty soothing ransom, dex forgetting about the drink in his one hand to drink rum from the bottle, shitty naked (not surprising) and slow dancing with a life sized cut-out of harry styles with tears streaming down his face (more surprising), and chowder lying on the couch singing through mouthfuls of pie 

they walk back to the lax bro house without executing the prank and they never mention it again

#p #should I put this under a read more??? I didn't think about how long it was yikes #i am ??? so sorry ???? i odnt know what happpened i have So Many Thoughts ok #omgcp #omgcheckplease #i just have so many feelings about this i have so much more to talk about really #omgcpx1d #1domgcp #i need to like sort out an actual tag for this #nurseydex #im so sorry but also im not bc i needed to say this #mine #my hcs #omgcp headcanon

[nessafae]

Okay I couldn't choose could you do every single one from the voltron ask? Like every last one? I'm curious 😅

So this took me a while, but here you are!

Voltron: Which Lion do you think you would pilot? Why?

Hm, maybe Yellow? I think my personality resembles Hunk the most, we have kind of the same mentality about life and I tend to freak out fast, the armor would probably calm me down :D

Shiro: If you were given the chance to change the past, would you?

I actually often think that I’d like to meet my best friends earlier in life? Thing is: I’ve known one of them for years when we became friends, I just was to shy to talk to her. For like, three years

Keith: Do you consider yourself an aggressive or passive person?

I’m afraid I tend to be aggressive when I’m frustrated or angry

Lance: Are you a flirtatious person? Lance level flirting?

Someone could probably wave a giant sign that reads “I AM FLIRTING WITH YOU” in my face and I still wouldn’t get it

Hunk: Do you know how to cook/bake?

I love to bake! And according to my friends I’m quite good at it ^^

Pidge: Who are the people you value the most?

My two best friends plus my family

Allura: What would be the first thing you do if you wake up after 10,000 years?

Take a nap. Just kidding, eat something, then take a nap. And after that I’d find out why I slept for 10.000 freaking years

Coran: What was your worst “phase”?

….*wispers* Twilight….in my defense, I never liked Edward and my fave character was Alice

Zarkon: Do you think revenge is wrong?

Depends. Revenge for a prank a friend pulled on my by pranking them? Yep. Revenge for a crime by commiting a crime? Nuh-uh. Well I guess every kind of revenge is wrong where you do somthing illegal or morally wrong.

Haggar: Are you obsessed over something? Someone?

Smaller obsessions come and go, like a song, a fandom, stuff like that.But right now I’m pretty obsessed with Voltron and Percy Jackson, especially Solangelo

Lotor: What would you be exiled for?

Probably for tripping over my own feet and accidentally blowing up a planet in a long series of chain reaction. Or for pushing a button that’s labeled “do NOT push” out of sheer curiosity and ignorance for consequences

Galra Empire: Who is your favorite Galra character?

Ezor is my space wife

Blade of Marmora: Who has the best character design?

That’s hard, but Lotor’s generals are looking truly awesome

Matt Holt: Do you more “nerdy” or “sporty”?

I’m on tumblr, spending hours thinking about a TV show and whose character design I like best for answering a voltron themed ask. What do you think

Balmerans: Are you good at reading at other peoples emotions?

I tend to think I do

Olkari: Do you have a close connection with nature?

Well, I love being surrounded by nature and weather has a huge impact on my mood, but a close connection?

Kuron: Would you want a clone of yourself? Why?

When I’m guaranteed it’ll never try to kill me and take over as the real me? Why not. I could force it to learn people skills, so it can make telephone calls and appointments for me, stuff like that.

Honerva: Do you have any pets?

I have cats and I love them for they are perfect

Alfor: What is your best friend like?

Well, I have two of them and they are pretty much opposites. One is rather outgoing and extroverted, the other is more introverted and nerdy (she’s on tumblr. Do I need to tell you more)

Weblum: What is your favorite Voltron episode?

Space mall episode!

Slav: What are your ships? No discourse allowed.

Klance, Shallura, Shatt and lowkey ShayxHunk (what is their shipname?)

Sven: Would you sacrifice your life for someone you barely know?

I think that really depends on the situation

Space Mice: What are your favorite animals?

Cats and wolves

KALTENECKER: Who is your favorite Voltron character?

Difficult, ‘cause Voltron is full of loveable characters! But listen, I love Keith! 

Paladin: When did you start watching Voltron?

About a year ago

#welp #that was that #voltron #ask #elfiethewicked