#and i say that so unaffectionately | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ayabeanworks · 7 months

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Title: Can I meet you again?

Synopsis: AU in which Geto does not defect, but you do instead.

Character: SaShiSu x reader

Series: Let's Meet in the Spring (SaShiSu x reader)

Notes: Literally just heavy angst & sadness. Mentions of death, murder, suicide and reincarnation. Heavy themes. Lots of swearing. Spoilers for JJK season 2 (anime).

Part 2 available here!

Prequel available here!

AU sequel available here!

The songs I had playing while writing this was: - Hero by Alan Walker (Probably played this one the most that it's at the top of my repeated songs Spotify list ☠️) - Apollo (Eurovision ver) by Timebelle - Dancing With Your Ghost by Sasha Sloan

"Oh?"

Shoko stared at you as you waved at her with a bright smile, brows raising in surprise as she took out a new smoke in the Shinjuku smoking area.

You made your way over to her, finding that she wasn't pushing you away. It was good to see a friend after a while, but you weren't too sure if you had that privilege anymore.

For you, you were testing the waters.

"Hey, Shoko." You took out a lighter from your pocket, one-handedly opening it for her to light her cigarette.

"Fancy seeing you here. You need something from me?" She glanced into your direction, taking a shallow inhale and extending her exhale.

You hummed in reply. "Just testing my luck."

"So, just to be sure, are the claims false?"

"Unfortunately, they're true." You could only bring yourself to shrug lightly, looking ahead. From your peripherals, you could see her taking out her phone to call the others.

"Just to be sure again: why?"

"I want to create a world where jujutsu sorcerers don't have to struggle." You didn't elaborate.

"Wow, that's funny!" Shoko laughed lightly, but there really wasn't anything humourous behind it. It was as if she was contemplating asking more. After all, everyone and everything struggles, so what is this righteous talk from you?

"Do you think I'm wrong?" You asked, hearing the faint ringing of her phone as she waited for one of the others to pick up.

"Right or wrong, it was dumb." Shoko didn't even hold back on her words, making you genuinely laugh at how frank she was, regardless had you been granted a bounty.

"Gojo, Geto, [name]'s here with me in Shinjuku." Gojo seemed to say something on the other side, but Shoko retorted, "No way! I don't wanna die." She hung up after conveying her message.

"So, what will you do now?" She turned to you, exhaling a puff of smoke into a ring above her head.

"I don't know. I might see you around, I guess." You took a step forward, facing her. "See you later, Shoko." You knew Gojo and Geto would be here at any moment, but you didn't know if you wanted to face them.

Shoko didn't say anything in response, just watching as the ashes fell from the cigarette between her fingers.

You didn't see, but it was the first time Shoko has made an expression where she was at a loss of what to do.

And, that was the last time you saw Shoko.

"WAIT, [NAME]!" Satoru bellowed out to you as you walked away, in front of the KFC you all used to go to until recently.

He caught up pretty fast...where's Sugu? You sensed his curse energy, but you weren't sure where it was. As for Satoru, he was only a few metres away from you down the slope of the street.

You sighed inwardly, ready to face him. "'toru."

The nickname you usually call him by hurt him more this time around as he registered how unaffectionate your voice was, contrary to the usual. It was devoid of any emotion. Like you didn't care about what you left behind. Like you didn't care about him.

"Explain yourself, [name]!" He demanded, sunglasses further down his nose as he watched you with wide eyes full of emotions of all kinds, but you mainly picked out disbelief and anger.

"There's nothing else to say. You've heard from Shoko." You stated, watching the twitch in his face as he evaluated your dismissive answer.

"So you'll kill anybody who makes life hard for Jujutsu sorcerers? Both sorcerers and non-sorcerers?" Satoru's voice rose in anger.

After all, you did kill an elder a week ago. It was the one that'd been annoying you since forever, the one who tried to get you purposely killed each and every time you went on a mission. Killing him was much easier than you had imagined, though.

"Well, if natural selection isn't going to do anything, I might as well do it instead." You crack a light joke, but your words were serious.

"That's not what I'm asking! I thought you were against killing if there was no meaning to it?!"

"There's a meaning behind everything. A purpose, even."

"No there isn't! You want to make a world where Jujutsu sorcerers don't suffer? That's impossible!"

"Satoru's right, [name]." Geto spoke from behind you, his voice wafting through the air as he went to stand closer to Gojo as he faced you. "There's a purpose to everything, but there's a better way of doing things than say, homicide. Especially for us in the Jujutsu world."

You wanted to scoff. But, you couldn't, because you used to be that way, too. But everything ate away at you, and you just weren't the same person anymore with the same aligning morals. You chose to go down the path you've decided to go down, even if it meant deserting everything you knew before.

"Is it really impossible?" Your voice was light, but the lilt in it was undeniably laced with seriousness. "I wouldn't do this if there was a shred of impossible in it."

The alarm on their faces was really something.

"[name]...you'll need to fight us if you keep going down this path." Suguru spoke his words deliberately, slowly, like he was getting a child to listen to him. He was careful.

Satoru clenched his teeth and fists. He wanted to say that it was impossible yet again, that when you fight them, you'll lose. But, you knew that. You knew, so why?

"Wow, I'll get to fight the 2 strongest sorcerers!" You clapped your hands together once, a smile on your lips, one that didn't reach your eyes. "Maybe so, but you're not my targets. There's some smaller fish compared to you I must get rid of first."

"Why?" Geto voiced both Gojo and his thoughts, a quick glance at Satoru knew he wasn't going to be able to hold a proper conversation without shouting.

"Why?" You echoed his question. "Well, for starters, we're treated like shit, in both worlds regardless sorcerers or non-sorcerers. Do you remember? The elder I killed, he was truly one who deserved to die. The number of times he ignored protests, warnings and more...killing off our sorcerers one by one, do you really believe someone like him being alive is worth all that struggle? For him, he deserves to die for that alone."

Geto was about to open his mouth after a thought, but you interrupted him. "Also, he was a paedophile so he deserves everything that's come his way. The world needs none of those disgusting pigs."

You couldn't forgive him. You couldn't forgive such a disgusting creature existed. When you found out the information coincidently, you knew you had to do something about it.

The anger in your eyes was juxtaposed by the small smile on your lips, one that was almost proud of what you did.

Satoru couldn't contain himself any longer, "Yeah, he was a fucking piece of shit, but killing him? That's made you one of the sorcerers we've got to kill! You're to be executed on sight! You're a hypocrite, [name]. Are you trying to get all the sorcerers you want to protect to come kill you?"

You watched him as he heaved a breath, his eyes feeling heavy on your form as he tried to convey his distraught to you about the whole situation.

You barked out a laugh, a hand landing on your hip as you stared at him, no trace of the smile on your features anymore.

"Hypocrite?" The question lay on the tip of your tongue, before you let out a low chuckle, feeling your throat go dry. "Perhaps you're right; I am. I am a hypocrite who wants death as much as those geezers who send us out to kill ourselves."

"Oh, and you forgot one detail. I don't care about sorcerers and non-sorcerers at all. They're equally as bad as each other. The only difference is that sorcerers have the power to wield cursed energy and use it to destroy curses made up from the normie's emotions." You gave him a half lie. It was easier to push him away. Push him away so he won't be able to break the armour you've put up.

"And what of him dying? Are the elders going to retire themselves? Or will they KILL us sorcerers first?" Your voice became an octave higher as you emphasised words that made you emotional.

"After I kill them, you can then reform the society as you wish. You could probably kill them yourself, 'toru, but you won't take that step. That's why I'll take that step instead." You give him a crooked smile, "There's nothing here worth living for."

"Nothing worth living for?" Satoru repeated your words, taking off his sunglasses, watching you with his blue eyes, and you could see the monstrous waves of emotion behind them. "Are you fucking blind?"

Suguru glanced over at Gojo, hoping he didn't have to inject himself in between to stop it from escalating further.

"No, I am not fucking blind, Satoru!" A chip from your facade broke off, revealing a mess of emotions in the split second your voice broke. "Do you understand how suffocating it is living in this world? Where all your friends die in front of you, or there's a chance they'll die on their next mission? Where the strongest wins - and in this world, if the curses aren't the strongest, the sorcerers at their highest standing are!"

"You know I--" He began, but you cut him off.

"I know you hate them as much as I do! But I'll do whatever it takes to get rid of them, even if it means forsaking you all to do it." You almost sound like you're pleading by the end, your eyes starting to tear up.

"And after. When they're gone, you can reform the system, and control it in the way that works best for this generation." You force a smile to your lips, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "Someone has to be the bad guy, and I'm willing to play the role, even if I may die in the process."

"[name], this can be done differently--"

"I'm tired, Satoru. I've tried. I've tried, and I'm tired. Why don't you understand that?" You whisper, shaking your head. "Do you know how many times I've tried talking to the higher ups, or anybody for that matter? No, you don't. You've been on missions this whole time, so you don't know. Even Suguru doesn't know the full extent of it. Shoko knows a bit, but she's not one who can do much about it."

Suguru and Satoru were silent for a moment, their eyes on you as your expression gave away everything you wanted to say.

"I won't be there, but it's a sacrifice worth making if you all aren't in danger. I don't care about anything else." Your words were soft, soft enough for them to hear you, soft enough for you to hope to convince yourself it was the right way and you didn't make the wrong choice.

Satoru and Suguru were the strongest duo. But, before they were, they were your best friends, along with Shoko. But now? Were you still able to call them your best friends? Did you even have that privilege anymore?

But, this is the path you took. Even if it meant abandoning those that you held dear, it was all for them. The real truth to your purpose and change of heart was to make a world easier for them, and for you, and for everybody who came after you. You didn't want anyone else to experience what you have, and you were going to do whatever you can to make that a reality.

You didn't give a flying fuck about anything else other than your best friends, if you were being honest. If it meant that you won't be by their side anymore, it was a sacrifice you were willing to make.

"So, I won't stop. This world is absolutely fucked. Why save something that can't be saved no more? I'd rather go down fighting. Morals be damned."

Your eyes glistening with tears unshed, you press your lips into a genuine smile. The last genuine smile before giving them a wave, "I guess this is goodbye. The next time I see you, 'toru, Sugu, we'll be enemies."

You turned on your heel, ready to leave, but you felt the curse energy expand from behind you, like they were readying to attack.

But, you kept walking, and nothing happened.

Satoru's outstretched hand fell back down to his side as he swore a string of curses, the pain on his face evident as he watched your figure disappear in the crowd of people.

Suguru had half a mind to get one of his curses to follow you, but he knew you well enough that the curse would be killed the minute you felt his cursed energy, so he didn't even bother.

His clenched his hand into a fist, a bitter taste in his mouth. He remembered back to when he was in a similar situation to you, but you and the others managed to get him out of it. He felt saved, but now, seeing it happen to the very person who helped him, made him shatter inside.

Why did you help him, when you couldn't even help yourself with your own words? Why didn't you let them help you? Why didn't you let them know you were having a hard time? That this was what you were contemplating?

He would have listened. They would have listened. They always would.

He felt a cold shiver go down his spine as he watched the endless stream of pedestrians, ones he used to call 'monkeys' in his head, but when letting go of that thought, you were at the forefront of his mind. It was you who grabbed his hand, you who brought him back.

It was you.

But he wasn't able to bring you back. He wasn't able to bring back the one who had nowhere else to go. The one who didn't know what to do with their emotions. The one who got lost.

But would he really call you lost when you knew what you wanted to do, where you wanted to go?

Suguru knew you weren't malicious. At least, not originally. The essence of you, he knew, was someone who cared greatly. One who had their heart on their sleeve when talking about anything and everything, especially with them. He didn't worry about you because you were always ok. But, there were things you didn't tell them and they didn't know, because you never let that part see the light of the day.

The only thing that Suguru felt in his chest, was regret. Regret so raw he felt cold and numb.

Satoru muttered another string of curses, turning on his heel, "Let's go, Suguru." His voice was small, and he didn't want to say any more.

He pondered all the possibilities of you. But he couldn't make himself understand you like you understood him. Which is what made it even more painful.

"I'm not as strong as you." Were words you once said to Satoru.

A forgotten conversation, one you started when he had come into your room even though the light was off, finding comfort in your presence. He wanted to sleep in the same bed or at least the same room, but you were still awake, sitting up in your bed and watching the stars and sky from your window.

Satoru didn't say anything as he climbed into your double bed, comfort filling his whole being from your calming scent alone. He wouldn't admit it, but it was one of his favourite places to be when he had turmoil in his mind.

"Yeah, you're weak." He mumbled, his face squished against the pillow as he faced you.

He could see the illuminated outline of your features from the moon, finding them captivating as he watched you with half-lidded eyes.

No, you're strong, were the real words he wanted to say. But, he had always called you weak, so he was going to continue. What harm was there?

You turn your head slightly, gazing at him with a soft smile. It was like you knew what he wanted to say, but didn't hold anything against him for saying the opposite of what he truly felt.

"You're right," You whispered. "I'm weak."

You went to close the curtains, slipping back into bed with Satoru as you closed your eyes, ignoring the gaze on you as you drifted off to sleep.

Satoru had a feeling those words were in reference to something else, but he had no idea what. He felt an invisible wall between you and him from the interaction just now, one that shouldn't be there lest he had his infinity on. But he never did unless in certain situations.

"You're plenty strong, [name]." He whispered this, bringing his finger to tap your forehead, before he also went to sleep.

You weren't asleep yet, so you heard his comment. It warmed your heart, the freezing depths of it wanting to thaw. It made you want to spill the inner turmoils of your mind, but you were scared it would taint the bright sun that is Satoru.

Satoru's a lot sweeter than he lets on, you let a small smile grace your lips as you face him to sleep.

Thinking back to that conversation, Satoru leaned back in the chair of your room, wondering where it all went wrong.

Were you trying to reach out to him back then? Or were you asking him for some form of confirmation? Were you trying to let him know you were not alright? What did you want?

He wasn't as good at reading emotions like Suguru was, but he knew something was wrong when something was wrong. He just didn't know how to approach it.

He wondered, if he had indulged you that time, would you have let him in?

"You had another fight with the elders, huh." Suguru stated, seeing your current state. He sat where the vending machines were, having just taken a seat after taking a shower. The can of green tea he had in his hands was opened and given to you, "Drink up."

You held an angry expression prior to this, but being with Suguru made you calm down. You took the green tea and took a small sip, savouring the bitter flavour. It was refreshing.

You handed it back to Suguru, "Thank you." He took it back and took a large gulp, feeling it cool down his body.

"You wanna tell me what happened?" Suguru prodded. He knew something was up. Normally you'd be more like Satoru when you came out pissed from the elders meetings. But this time, you were quiet, more like you were seething, like a volcano about to erupt.

You stared at the ground, wondering what you should start with. You felt that all the words exchanged between you and the elders wasn't listened to, wasn't taken into account. It was like talking to a massive brick wall, one that you had no way to get through to.

"I..." You started, but your throat clammed up. You stopped, waiting for the words to come naturally. When your throat finally decided it was ready to talk, your voice was a whisper. "If the elders disappeared, would this all end?"

Suguru's gaze landed on you, knowing full well what you were thinking. He gave you the green tea again. You took it, and another sip.

"If the elders disappeared, others would take their place."

Suguru could feel something was wrong. The atmosphere was different with you, just like how it was different for him a year ago after the star plasma vessel mission. He could sense it in his very being, something was wrong.

"If the others took their place, would they act the same as the ones now?" You chuckled to yourself, but your voice dropped an octave, "Jujutsu society is trash."

There was a slight panic that welled up inside Suguru, reminding himself of the emotions he himself went through not too long ago.

He could see himself in you, and he hated it. Not the one who had helped to bring him out of it, the one who reached out their hand to bring him back to the light. Not you.

"[name]. You don't hate all sorcerers, do you?" His voice was calm, probing for information for your current state of mind.

Back then, he was on the verge of deciding whether to continue as someone who protected the weak, or someone who didn't care for the weak. And now, you were going through something similar. He wanted to bring you back to him, to the one you saved.

After a moment, you shook your head. "I don't. I just...hate how the elders are sending out young sorcerers to their deaths. I hate how there are young Jujutsu sorcerers being taken away from their families so they can train to be another one of us disposables. I hate how no matter what, the top dogs in this world are absolute trash, who need to be burned at the stake. And don't get me started on curses. They're the worst. I hate them. I hate them so much for taking away so much from everyone. From sorcerers, from non-sorcerers..."

A pregnant pause.

"I hate this world that has curses." Your voice cracked at the end of it as you leaned down, head in your hands as you stared at the ground, a broken whisper of self-awareness, "I hate how I've begun thinking this way."

Suguru didn't know when he had held his breath. Your confession was so raw. You had every right to be angry and frustrated at the system which Jujutsu was. He had also held the same thoughts.

"Sugu..." There was a heartbreaking whine to your voice, one that sounded as if you were on the verge of crying. "I hate this."

An embrace, so gentle, so tender, so soft, enveloped you as his larger body wrapped around yours. You could smell the soap he used as he pushed your face into the crook of his neck, his larger hand stroking your hair as you finally let the tears fall, a broken sob reverberating through your body as you held onto him like he was your lifeline.

"[name], I'm here." He soothes, head gently resting against yours. He closed his eyes, pulling you in closer when he felt you trembling. This was the exact same thing you did for him before, one that soothed him and his tumultuous heart.

The only difference is, you were smaller than before, too. Were you eating properly? You were skinnier. Did you get enough sleep? There were bags under your eyes. Did you take a break? He didn't see the last time you took a break.

You pulled away after a while, eyes puffy and face covered with snot. Suguru didn't even flinch as he grabbed the towel sitting next to him, wiping off any excess liquid from your face. It was gentle, and it reminded you he was the most gentle out of the three, and he'd been in a similar position to you at this moment in time. When you looked up to meet his eyes, you decided, you didn't want to burden him with your thoughts of hate - one time was enough.

"I'll always be here if you need me. You can come to me anytime." His hand went to your cheek and his thumb wiped at the area of your cheekbone. Just like his tender hugs, this was so, so soft that it made you want to cry again, making you nearly regret the decision in your heart.

You could only lean into his hand and give him a nod, eyes closing as you felt fatigue come down on your body, making it feel heavy. You didn't even know you fell asleep so fast that Suguru had to catch you, hauling you up so he could carry you back to your room.

This was the only time you revealed your true thoughts to Suguru, and the only time he has ever seen you this way.

Maybe this was the start of it? Suguru's thoughts when he woke up were clear in his mind. The dream he had was something that really happened, and it hurt him he wasn't able to help you during your hardest moments like you did for him.

He had slept in your bed for the night, finding that he missed you and the comfort you brought him. Your scent was calming to him, and it will forever be a saviour to his soul.

A week before killing the elder, Shoko had found you passed out in the infirmary, half of your body on a chair, and half of it off and on the ground.

She raised a brow at your position, wondering if you were tired and just fell asleep. On closer inspection, she could see the dark circles under your eyes, the thinning of your cheeks, and realised you've lost a lot of weight. The bottle on the chair were a bunch of sleeping pills, open and spilled, indicating you had taken some just prior.

If she wasn't worried about you before, she was definitely worried now.

And when you woke up, you were just like normal, which made Shoko question whether you were just overworked. She did know you fought a lot with the elders and were sent on difficult missions because they were out to get you. So with this information in mind, she was sure you were in need of a proper break, away from everything and everyone.

Which was why she advocated for you to get a break, away from Tokyo, to an island resort with lots of sunshine. A proper 4 day break. Of course, she got Satoru to pay for it since he was loaded and actually owed [name] for a previous thing.

But, the aftermath that came from that was the death of the elder 3 days after coming back.

Did that moment of clarity cause everything to happen? When you were on break, was that when everything went out of control? Was that when you decided this was the path you wanted to take?

You had looked completely back to normal after coming back that the worry Shoko and the boys held for you was almost like a false alarm - but they didn't realise that that in itself was the real alarm.

You were happy - or at least, you were smiling like you did before. It was wonderful to see you back to your regular self, something everyone mutually agreed on by the other sorcerers.

Until you murdered the elder, that is.

That was your first step into the world of depravity, away from the world of Jujutsu, and closer to the world called Hell.

[name]'s heart was soft. It was originally that way, and as you traversed through life, fell and got back up, your heart became stronger. However, it was just an outer layer, like a piece of armour for your fragile heart. You would pretend things were fine until it wasn't, even if you wore your heart on your sleeve, letting the people around you know what you thought, even if they thought you were joking.

It was almost too sudden when you realised all the armour around your soft heart had shattered to pieces.

It was like you lost a part of you that day, and you didn't know what could fix you. You didn't know if you could be fixed. So, you did the only thing you could do.

Pick up the pieces and do your best to put it back together, create a wall for your heart before it gets pierced again.

But before you were able to, a gunshot would shatter your glued armour, shattering in your hands, and your heart was laid bare, bleeding out without any way to stop.

And you wished and wished, for someone to reach out their hands to you and drag you out of your ocean of misery. But, nobody could reach deep enough, and you couldn't reach because you had no strength left to.

You couldn't reach out anymore. No matter how much you wanted, the same fate would await you, and you'd fall into such despair again.

You were tired. You were so, so, so tired.

The ones who made you like this, were ironically the ones who could take you out.

"____." You give them one last smile, a genuine one, as you feel the tears coming down your face, bringing your blade to your neck, before slicing and ending your own life.

You didn't want to die at the hands of your best friends. Not because they're your best friends, but because they would bear the burden of having killed you, and you didn't think they'd be able to take that, especially at the ripe age of 19. So, you'd rather do it for them, making it easier. After all, it would've been close to impossible going up against two of the strongest sorcerers.

You could only hear screams at you from the distance as the pain numbed your mind and body. Geto & Gojo were both screaming your name as they sprinted to you, their panicked shouts becoming background noise as they held onto your body, lifting you up to bring you to Shoko.

Your eyes could only see the terrified blue eyes from Satoru as he carried you on Geto's curse. He seemed to be wanting the curse to go faster, but Geto could only reply in an equally as panicked tone, saying this was his fastest one and that they're going as fast as they could to Shoko.

Your eyes are too beautiful to be panicking, you wanted to say. But, you couldn't. Blood had gotten into your oesophagus, making you struggle to breathe as you coughed and suffocated on your own blood.

"[NAME]! ARE YOU WITH ME?! STAY AWAKE!" Satoru's frantic shouts were barely ringing in your ears, but the creases on his face shouldn't have been there. They were going to give him wrinkles.

With one of the last ounces of your strength, you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, then gently smooth the line between his brows, giving a weak smile.

Satoru let out a choked sound similar to a sob, understanding exactly what you were doing and what you wanted to say. He held your wrist, supporting you in whatever way he can as he could feel your body heat leaving you. Suguru placed a hand on your cheek, stroking the area under the eye, just like he always did.

It made you feel nostalgic, but you could barely see his expression, since tears had blurred your vision. You wanted to reach for Suguru before you had no more strength, so you gently moved your raised arm in that direction. Satoru, knowing exactly what you were doing, guided your hand to Suguru, who took your hand gently, holding it preciously between his two hands.

"Let's get you home, [name]." Were the last words Geto said to you. By 'home', he meant with them, back to Jujutsu, so they could forget everything that happened and start over. It would just be like those happy days, back when there was nothing to worry about.

In your state, you couldn't make out everything he was saying, but you knew they were kind words by his intonation and the caress he held for your bloodied hand.

You only gave them a smile, one that was apologetic, as you felt your consciousness fading away. The tears that blurred your vision finally fell, and the slight squeeze of your hand in Geto's made him realise that was it.

For you, it was time to sleep. It was a time for you to finally rest your tired mind and body, away from this world, and away from all those that you loved.

Suguru looked over at Satoru, who was biting his lip almost bruisingly as they trembled. With his sunglasses off, he could see everything in detail, including the way your cursed energy stopped, from when your body heat disappeared, and he couldn't feel you anymore. You were a hollow shell of a body now, and the last thing you left them was an apologetic smile on your face.

Away from the battleground, Shoko looked out the window, a pang of sadness hitting her all at once when she realised the screams belonging to Geto & Gojo resonated through the forest. She could barely just hear them, but she knew, the dread that filled her veins was apparent. She knew.

She closed her eyes, taking out the cigarette between her lips as she exstinguished it, her arm covering her eyes as she leaned back in her seat, silent tears falling down her cheeks.

"Quite sad, really. None of you realised [name] suffered this much." Kenjaku sowed the top of your head back together after revealing some information you kept hidden to Suguru & Satoru, and about your last moments and thoughts.

Seeing the despair and shock on their faces was intoxicating, especially when it came to the body he borrowed. Kenjaku knew the amount of love that had been given to the original owner of his current body, and using that, he could disarm even the strongest of sorcerers in the modern day.

It was a pity you were dead, but if you were alive and not dead, Kenjaku wouldn't have been able to take over your body now, would he?

It was especially sweet because the body hadn't even been cremated and still looked the same as it did 10 years ago. And those two who had been responsible for it were standing in front of him, in Shibuya station during Halloween.

Even better because you had died in their arms, so seeing you alive as Kenjaku was more of a sick joke than anything, but he loved that expression on the ones who had essentially allowed you to be this way.

"If only the people around them were able to reach out a hand before their descent into madness, none of this would have happened." Kenjaku ran a hand through your hair.

Satoru let out a low growl from his throat as he watched whoever was in your body use it, control it, and pretend to be you. No one could be you. You were gone. You were gone 10 years ago. And he knew - he knew you were not in front of him.

You died in his arms.

So there was absolutely no way that could be you. Absolutely not!

But, his six eyes said otherwise. It was you. Everything was you. It was the same you who died in his arms 10 years ago, the same you who gave him one last smile before leaving the earth.

It tore him to pieces inside.

Suguru put out an arm in front of Satoru, eyeing the cursed user in your body. He was pretending to be calm, but the way his hands and jaw clenched at the blatant disrepect Kenjaku had for your body was digusting. How dare he exhume your grave and take your body from it?

He felt a cold, almost murderous feeling bubble up inside him as he readied himself for combat.

That was not you. And it couldn't be, even if Satoru's six eyes recognised you to be alive. You weren't alive. You had been lost long ago, and whoever was in front of them was an imposter.

"[name]! How long are you going to let this little bitch take over your body?" Satoru finally burst, pissed at the prospect of someone disrespecting you.

Your hand, reacting almost instantaneously, went straight for the top of the head, right where Kenjaku's brain was. It stabbed straight through the cranium, a crunch eliciting a scream from Kenjaku himself as the brain was stabbed, wounding his real body. Kenjaku used your other arm to stop your attack on his weak point, feeling the blood pour out.

For a moment, it was silent except the light splatter and pitter patter of blood from your body. Suguru and Satoru stared at what happened in front of them, shocked that what Gojo said had ellicited such a response.

Kenjaku pulled your assaulting hand away, holding it in a death grip with the one he could control. The blood dripped down his face as he used his reverse cursed technique to heal the head wound, cracking the sides of his neck after he healed your head and his brain.

"Wow, I can't believe [name] went straight for the kill." Kenjaku laughed to himself. "But that's all there is to it. The soul and body are one, aren't they? Don't think this will happen again." He chuckled and waited for the hand to calm itself.

"Oh, and did you know [name] wrote a letter to each of you? Including Shoko. They knew they'd die so they hid it away in the school. I think they hid it somewhere important for each of you. Even they don't quite remember." Kenjaku couldn't quite recall what the contents of the letters were as the memory itself was fuzzy. He wanted to see it as their strong friendship strained due to his taking over of [name]'s body.

He wondered why this specific memory was blurred out, and he couldn't recall anything from your memories about this specific thing?

It was like you were deliberately making sure you didn't remember it, and deleted the memory from your head so no one could find the letters.

A letter? The strongest duo's eyes narrowed at the imposter in their dead best friend's body, wondering if it's a part of their tricks. But it was also hard to not believe them, since they look like you. And everything about you, they would believe.

Because you were the type of person who would write letters to them.

"I don't know what they say, but they've been there since before [name] died." Kenjaku tapped his temple, "If you can get out of here, I implore you to find them."

That pissed the two off. Kenjaku was implying they wouldn't get out of this alive, or at least, to see the letters that were supposedly left for them. It pissed them off to no end, and they prepared to battle, not wanting to take part of his nonsense any longer.

Dear Satoru,

I'm glad to have met you. I love you. I love Suguru. I love Shoko. I love everyone. We had so many fun times, and it was the best time of my life. Everything was so bright, cheery and brought me so much happiness, I can't even tell you the extent of it.

I hope you don't mind this letter. If you've found it after I've defected or after I'm dead, I can't express with words how much doing this pains me. If I can't use my words, I have to use my actions, right? I hope you don't forgive me for what I've done. It's unacceptable and you have every right to hate me. I've killed innocent people for the purpose of my goal. Horrible, right? I really hope you won't forgive me.

But I know you. You will. You're just that kind of person.

I'll miss your bright blue eyes and white hair. I'll miss your loud and boisturous personality. I'll miss how your heart races every time I hug you. I'll miss you nuzzling into my head when we hug. I'll miss the soft 'sweet dreams' you say every time you carry me to bed after I fall asleep studying. I'll miss when you take photos of me everyday. I'll miss your annoyingness. I'll miss your teasing words every day. I'll miss your blushing cheeks when you're embarrassed. I'll miss your comical, over the top reactions. I'll miss you eating a whole bunch of sweets in one setting. I'll miss the crepe shop we'd often go to. I'll miss how you make me feel safe. I'll miss your voice. I'll miss you.

If reincarnation exists, I want to meet you again. I want to see your smile again. I want to call you 'toru again. I want to give you the biggest hug, and feel the thrum of your heart racing. Then, I'll give you a kiss on your head, just like you always do to me before I sleep.

You're strong, 'toru. Make sure to stay safe and be careful. I don't want to meet you on the other side so soon. Grow up to be even stronger, and reform Jujutsu's society. I know you can do it!

By the way, I left your favourite recipe of the sweets you liked that I made. That way, you can enjoy them anytime.

Love, [name].

P.S. Don't eat so many sweet things at once!!! I don't want you getting cavities!!!

Dear Suguru,

You were the first one to notice anything going on, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm sorry I brushed you off so coldly. I didn't know how to ask for help. I wish I'd have listened to your heartfelt words to rely on you a little more.

If you see this, I've probably already defected or I'm dead. But I just want you to know, I love you. I want to see you again. I miss you. I want to hug you and let you know everything I'm thinking. I want you to give me one of your strong hugs, knocking the air out of me. I also equally want your soft, tender hugs, as you whisper comforting words to me. I want to hear your voice again. I want to run my fingers through your hair again and question why you only use soap on it. I want to cook with you again. Have late night discussions. Cuddle. Piggyback rides. Kisses on the cheek. Allowing me to latch onto you like a koala when I'm cold since you run hot. I miss our times together. I miss you.

If reincarnation is real, we will definitely meet again. I want to see you smile from the bottom of your heart, and enjoy the most delicious food! And, if no curses are in that world, then you'll finally have a food you don't like - I'll be willing to lend an ear so you can whisper it to me! I want to cup your cheeks and tell you you've done well, for enduring during tough times and standing right back up. I want to finally give you a piggyback ride, since I was never able to fulfil that wish here. I want to be able to call you Sugu again.

Stay strong, Sugu. Make sure to stay safe. Since I know you hate the taste of curses, I've left the key to my safe with candies that are really good at cleansing the palette. Don't ever let these get into 'toru's hands or else you'll never see them again. I got these custom made just for you, and I've left a note with instructions on where to get it and what special order it was. I was supposed to give it to you sooner, but I left before then. Hope you enjoy them!

Love, [name].

P.S. Please take care of yourself!!! And don't use soap on your hair!!! Use proper shampoo and conditioner since your hair's so pretty!!!

Dear Shoko,

I'm sorry you probably had to see my dead body.

If I had spilled my heart out to you about my troubles, I wonder if it would've helped? I kept things bottled up for too long and it's become like this. I'm sorry I wasn't able to keep our promise. We didn't get to go to Disneyland like we promised all those months ago - the tickets are just sitting somewhere rotting away. I really wanted to go with you, Sugu and 'toru. It would've been great fun, and we would've made so many memories.

I miss your voice, Shoko. I miss your laugh. Your insults. Your frankness. Your weirdness. Your chillness. You. Heck, I even miss your scent of smoke. I miss you so much. I want to see you.

Can I meet you again? In a world without curses, where we don't need to risk our lives and watch our loved ones die. If I ever get reincarnated, can you find me? Or I can find you? I want to enjoy our times together again, feel the breeze against our skin, sing joyfully, joke around, play around, and take many photos together. That's the only way I want to spend it - and I want it so much you don't even know. In that kind of world, we can finally be happier. We can finally smile geniunely. I'll be able to finally see you again.

I bought some smokes for you and it's in my safe. Suguru has the key. Take some of the candies too, they might help in cleansing your palette every now and then.

I love you.

Love, [name].

P.S. Too much smoking isn't good for you!!! Please quit or at least do it a little less!!! I worry for your lung health...

Trembling hands read their letters as they were found around Jujutsu High school. It had your cursed energy as a seal, but the minute it was touched by any of the three, the seal would break. The letter itself was blank, with a couple of pages for each of them. The words appeared once they injected their cursed energy into it.

Words written by you appeared on the page, covering all the pages given for each letter. As the trio read the letters you had kept hidden from them, they couldn't help but let their unshed tears fall.

They were all known as strong sorcerers who don't cry. But, you brought them to their knees with your sincerity, and you were lost too soon. It was the last thing they had from you, and the warmth in every word of those letters struck a chord deep in their hearts, remembering 10 years ago and the day you had died.

"I kept [name]'s room clean," Suguru started, his eyes glossy. He had already cried, but every time he wanted to read the words off the letter, he was ready to cry again. He didn't want to. "Everything's the same."

It was as if they went down memory lane. Nothing had changed in your room. It was just as Geto said, it was exactly the same.

Whenever Geto had some time, he would clean your room, just like how he knew you would like it. It was something he sometimes did if he stayed over to help you study or just to hang out. So, he knew where everything was.

Immediately going to the safe, he put in a random number, guessing your birthday, then he used the key entrusted to him and unlocked it.

"What a bad password..." Geto couldn't help but laugh lightly, but his laughter died in his throat when he opened the safe.

The first thing the three of them saw was a couple of picture frames, each of them with pictures of the four of them that they remember taking when they were younger. The photos where all of them were happy, grinning and had no care in the world, it made their throats dry, clamming up uncomfortably.

Geto picked up the picture frames, taking a closer look at them with Shoko.

"Oh, look, there's more." Gojo peered in, seeing the promised recipe, bag of lollies, Disneyland tickets and smokes from each of their letters. He took them out and handed them what was gifted.

As they examined the items, Gojo read the recipe, a page written neatly by you. It was as if he could imagine you sitting in your room, writing it just for him while you tasted the different variations that you recommended in the recipe.

Geto put the photos face down, falling flat on his back on your bed as his arm covered his eyes.

Shoko stared at him for a moment, deciding to join him by doing the same thing. Your bed was only a double bed (you had requested a bigger bed for your first paycheck) and didn't have that much space for the three of them, much less four.

Seeing the two of them do the exact same thing, Satoru joined them, but instead, he sat up against your headboard, laying his legs in a cross legged position.

He fipped the picture frames back up, a bittersweet smile on his lips as he basked in the silence and warmth of your room he was so familiar with.

He closed his eyes, and like the others, thought of you.

Would it have been different had you told them everything you were feeling? If you talked through exactly what was causing you grief, and what could be done about it? Were they not enough to help you back up? Would you have felt so suffocated that you chose to die? Would you have still died in their arms? Would Kenjaku have still taken over your body? Still left them behind?

They say sorcerers don't die without regrets.

And they knew if they died, their one and only regret would be you.

At a certain crepe shop, Gojo Satoru waited for his crepe, one he decorated with strawberries, whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate. It was one he used to frequent with his old friend, and he'd come here every week with them to buy a crepe. It wasn't the order he normally went with, but today, he felt nostalgic.

It had been so long since the last time he had visited the crepe shop with you, but it remained fresh in his mind even after reincarnating many times over. What timeline was he in now? He counted 7. That was 7 lifetimes without you. Suguru & Shoko were also counting, and they did whatever they could to find out where you would be. But, each and every one after their first, you were nowhere to be found.

Suguru & Shoko would sometimes come to the crepe shop, but they were also busy making a living in a world without curses. The tragedy from their first life remained fresh in their current ones, holding them so strongly they didn't want to give up.

But unknown to them, you were right under their nose all along, and you frequently went to that same crepe shop at times just before or after they were there, a mysterious force pushing you to the place.

It was at one time, where Satoru thought he saw you, that it reignited the flame that had been dormant for so long, to finally see you, after so many timelines and lifetimes apart.

Your voice, followed by your laughter, and your hand. He had you memorised, and he was so thankful for his good memory that recognised you. It was the closest he got, and when he heard you, saw a part of you, he was sprinting, but you had already disappeared onto the train, and the last thing he saw was the back of your head.

It was brief, but it was enough for his mind to go overdrive and let the others know his findings, that it was possible for them to find you this lifetime, and the crepe shop was the biggest key to it all.

And, when they cracked the code and finally found you, all the memories, feelings and thoughts from their original life came back to them, allowing them to finally see you in a world without curses, even if they had to wait 7 lifetimes.

If they had to put it into years, those 7 lifetimes were equivalent to over 600 years of not seeing you.

But, this lifetime, they finally found you.

Over 600 years in the making, and you also found them.

A/N: I CRIED WRITING THIS. It hurt me 😭 here's part 2!

There's also somewhat of a prequel as well from Geto's POV if you were interested!

Here's also an AU in an alternate timeline with information that takes place directly after the original timing here.

If y'all want some fluff here's the masterlist for the rest of the series 🕊️

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chaosandmarigolds · 20 days

Text

Tic-Tac-Toe

based on this!! amazing ask!!

.. -. / - …. . / -. .- -- . / --- ..-. / --. --- -..

To look at and to listen to is one things, something that would click immediately within your mind if you had seen it- however, to feel it is something you weren't fully aware you could do. Small taps on your thigh when you would be sitting next to him in the mess hall, laughing to one of Johnny's absurd jokes. Feeling the dashes on the palm of your hand as you walked through the corridors on slow nights.

- --- / -... . / -- .. -. .

Sure you had always known that the Simon Riley had a hard time saying things, he was a flirt to the random girls at the bar but to the people he truly cared about; it was like stumbling through a sentence was the easiest thing for him. So you had resigned to accept his nonverbal acts of affection. Allowing yourself to be content with soft kisses in lieu of words.

- --- / .... .- ...- . / .- -. -.. / - --- / .... --- .-.. -..

It wasn't that he was unaffectionate, quite the opposite, it was that he couldn't show it how he so deeply wanted to. The words would get caught in his throat and they would come out a half kidding banter, like a dig into the psyche. All the same, what he felt for you was something so deep and profound that not even he could dare put it into words. So he would maybe whisper them against your skin when he knew you were too asleep to even know he was awake, he would let his touch linger.

..-. --- .-. / -... . - - . .-. / .- -. -.. / ..-. --- .-. / .-- --- .-. ... .

You didn't think much of the taps, you summed it up to a nervous tic, or maybe something he found comforting. After all, since before you had been dating you always knew he liked to be moving some part of his body, if it be rubbing that frayed edge of his jacket or lightly tapping the palm of your hand.

- --- / .-.. --- ...- .

It didn't click, how he would climb into bed after a long day and how his hand would almost mindlessly move on its own, tapping the skin of your hip as he tried to squeeze into you as if you would vanish if he didn't. You didn't realize the important of the faint kisses on the nape of your neck and how they were oh so perfectly timed to be some sort of code.

Until it was a code.

.- -. -.. / - --- / -.-. .... . .-. .. ... ....

" Hol on, Hol on, /m gettin somthin."

You look to Johnny from where you were currently desperately trying to fix the radio, the thick smog limiting your sight and the burn of the gas in your lungs making it hard to breathe. With a heaved breath you push yourself up to stand and then sink back to your knees where Johnny had been trying to see if the truck's radio worked- a mission gone south left you and he, separated from Simon, leaving him in the building.

It was silent until the beeping came over the radio and it...felt so familiar yet you couldn't place your hand on it, it was like a deja-vu feeling within your gut- "It's morse code- God, I forgot that was still a thing."

Johnny looks up at you and then gives you a weak laugh, "Yea, hol' on," as he spoke he took out a pen and paper and began to scribble down the dashes and lines.

"Think it's him?"

"He's tha' only un' tha' knows it."

..- -. - .. .-.. / -.. . .- - .... / .--. .- .-. - ... / ..- ...

"Johnny?" It had taken the man a few seconds to write down the repeating message, then a few more to translate it.

"Johnny is it him? Is he okay?"

There was no silence, the hiss of the storm raging outside and the faint roar of gunfire from the battle you had just been ordered to flee. Yet everything was so slow, he wasn't speaking, he looked almost sorrowful.

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- --..--/ ... --- / -- ..- -.-. .... / -.. --- ...- .

"He loves you. He said he loves you so much."

.. .----. -- / ... --- -.- -.- -.--

"He's sorry."

(annnnway thats all! any feedback, comments or ideas you got trust me I wanna hear them! <333)

#simon ghost riley #simon riley fanfic #cod x you #simon riley x reader #simon riley imagine #simon riley x you #simon ghost riley x reader #cod fluff #coco's chaos <3 #simon ghost x reader #simon riley #simon x reader #ghost mw2 #ghost cod #simon ghost fluff #ghost fanfiction #cod imagine #cod ghost

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lamentofabramo · 13 days

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Can I get an NSFW alphabet for Tobias Rogers (ticci toby) 🫶

I've been doing a bigger piece, so I might as well do something smaller like this since it's been a good while since I've posted now. (oops)

I'm basing this less on the fandom vers of him, hopefully.

Didn't proofread this much. (edit: I feel bad that I didn't acknowledge the heart, so <3 of course you can doll)

MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Toby obviously is one of the more caring of the creepypasta's, of course that's a low bar, but he is considerably more human than some of them. He's still gruff and fairly untalkative after the deed, yet he'd offer some water before leaving if you were just a one-off/ casual fuck.

If you were his partner however, I'd imagine he'd be more caring, still untalkative and unaffectionate, but maybe he'd hold you or hold your hand in this. Of course, he'd blame this on being unable to properly feel what he's holding, but the slow decrease in his twitches as he holds you speaks a lot more than he ever will. He's not comfortable, but he feels slightly less stress in your presence, at least until he has to leave, his mind penetrated by the voice of the foreboding presence of the ever-taller man.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His own favourite body part would probably be his arms, he was a scrawny kid for most of his life, but you sure would start gaining muscle if you swung your axe at people who you considered worthy of it. There's probably also some scars across his arms that remind him of his life before. Of course, he'd hate that idea, but he still has some attachment to his sister, his mother, no matter how hard he may try to push it out of his head.

For his favourite part of his partners, I feel like it'd most likely be your waist. It's something for him to grab, to hold onto to remember you're real, that you're still alive against his better judgement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) If you asked for it in a specific place, sure he'd do it if he was in a good mood. On your chest, ass, inside even. He'd risk it, he had nothing to truly lose anyway. But his favourite place would most likely be on your stomach, just the wet streaks across your stomach would do things for him. He's not sure why either, he wouldn't register that he does that almost every time unless you pointed it out to him.

If you did, he'd probably consider why for a second, his eyes widening in realization before shrugging. "Any better ideas?" he'd mumble, absently listening as he stroked himself. Toby would listen if you told him anywhere else, but… his eyes focused on that smooth surface.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He secretly wants to push the boundaries of his condition. He wants your hands around his neck, trying to choke him until it hurt. It was strange really, he had a high pain tolerance, yet he craved this pain. Maybe it was because he wanted to be normal, maybe not. He didn't want to think too hard on it, like many other things he just shrugged at the idea and continued with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Toby was definitely not an experienced guy, even before the accident where he finally became 'free' (If you could say being slenderman's lackey was free) the most he'd done was hold hands with a girl in primary school.

He wouldn't be insecure with it however, he never viewed himself as a sexual being, the most he'd ever fucked was his fist on particularly rough nights. Sure, he'd had crushes on women, but when you become a serial killer you go one of two ways. A sex maniac or a complete recluse. Unfortunately, Toby became the latter.

However, since he had a less than regular childhood, he was never able to go through the same sexual awakenings as many of his peers. Instead, that most likely came later, so when he met you he was awkward, like a teenage boy. Most of his language is through grumbles and grunts anyway.

When he realized you were stuck in his head it all changed though, his sex drive increased massively. His poor hand.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Cowgirl probably rocks his world, he loves that intense eye contact that comes with it. The way he looks up at you through his fringe, his mouth slightly open as he pants and grunts, is a reward in itself. However, he would get impatient, his hips thrusting up to meet yours or his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you down further on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) If something was funny to him, then he'd smirk, like if you hid your body from him even though he was about to be deep inside of you.

When he gets further into the activity, he'd let out breathless laughs, sometimes blaming that on his tics. He couldn't help it, though, he loved the way you responded to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Toby probably doesn't care much about how groomed he is, sometimes he'll shave, but other than that he's got whatever going on.

He has a small happy-trail up to his belly button though, it shows when he raises his axe too high. It's a dark brown colour, just like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He's probably not particularly intimate, maybe some words here or there if he feels like it, but don't overestimate him too much. He probably came inside you before he kissed you.

His cheeks pinken slightly whenever you suggest kissing, but he quickly slouches and looks away with an almost childish pout to pretend as though he doesn't care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Like I said in the earlier one, sure he jacked off every now and again, but it was more so a way to pass the time, to get some serotonin in his ever-pleasant life. But when he gets fixated on something, or rather in your case, someone, his sex drive spikes. He wants you in his hands, in his vice, it frustrates him, so he takes this frustration out on himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's probably degrading, mixed with praise. He's basically up for anything. He's killed someone, I'm sure a weird kink won't kill him.

However, if he does think your kinks are unusual he will take the piss out of you for it, teasing, but he still takes part in it. Its fun.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) Wherever you want, he's not arsed, really. Against a tree sounds the most fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) As cheesy as this sounds, you. Maybe some aggression on your side would get him going too, that mouth of yours was lethal sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Like I said before, he's practically up for anything. He might not be physically aggressive for you too much, though, it'd remind him of his past.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a munch, if he's in the mood enough, he could probably cum from giving you head. He'd deny that though, God that'd be embarrassing.

Not only that, but he'd receive too, no doubt, Toby would find it fun to just gently tug your head up and down on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Toby would probably be slow but deep if he's teasing you. But if he's just fucking you, then it'd be fast, his hands pulling you down on his cock with faster speed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Hell yeah brother. Just give him the words, he might tease you for it, but he'd never say no (unless he's in a more depressive mood).

He'd love to fuck you in the back of his car too, or masky's car. Just for the hell of it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He's a risky guy, but surprisingly, he wouldn't do anything that could get him potentially caught by the law. He's on the run for a reason, he's not willing to risk his freedom for a good fuck (sometimes).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He'd probably like to overstimulate slightly, 2/3 rounds before he's clocked out and completely dry. He'd last an average enough time, 20 minutes normally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Seeing your body twitch with something that isn't him would make him jealous. However, a little vibrator never hurt anyone. He'd tease you if you had any dildos or anything, though, asking pettily if he "wasn't enough" or that you were "stretching yourself out" for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Big tease, but he always fulfils your wants. It may take a while, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The only noise he really makes is grunting and whispers on how dirty you are. He's loud enough that you can hear him, but not loud enough for it to be a full-blown moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He does want to see how you'd look crying for him all bloodied up, most likely someone else's blood, but he's not picky. Maybe fucking you on top of a recently deceased.

But he'd never admit that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) An average to slightly bigger man, About 6.4 inches. Probably measured it one time when he was bored, and he hung onto the .4 for his ego.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not too high unless you exist, then…as much as he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't sleep much after it, doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in front of others, even someone like you. His nightmares don't help.

#creepypasta #creepypasta x reader #ticci toby #tobias erin rogers #tobias rogers #smut alphabet #x reader #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers

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parasprite · 5 months

Text

people who refer to gerri as a mommy dom/milf/roman's mommy gf ANNOY ME so bad im sorry. roman is not attracted to gerri because he has mommy issues, it's because he has DADDY ISSUES. gerri is so similar to logan and romangerri's relationship is such a clear parallel to roman and logan's relationship that roman's feelings towards his dad and his attraction towards gerri are inextricably linked. gerri acts hot and cold towards roman, likes his attention and obedience but balks when he gets too desperate, puts her corporate interests before any love that roman offers her (JUST like logan)... and it's in roman's actions too. the lines constantly blur. roman accidentally sending the dick pic to his dad instead of gerri. roman jerking off to gerri degrading him (+ he gets off on her line about his family being disappointed in him) and then later getting fixated on a video of his dad saying mean things about him. roman being reluctant to team up with his siblings to "kill" their dad, and him later being forced to fire gerri. logan calling roman a faggot for expressing love towards him, then calling roman a sicko for being interested in gerri. gerri being out of roman's reach because she's an employee, she's older, it doesn't serve her interests, he's too needy, he doesn't deserve her love; logan being out of roman's reach because he's busy, he's unaffectionate, he has a company to think about, roman's too needy, he doesn't deserve logan's love. i just don't get people who say roman has a mommy complex about gerri. gerri is nothing like caroline but she's exactly like logan. anyways

#succession #succession meta #romangerri

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rinniemybeloved · 1 year

Note

Omg Heyy I just wanted to say I love your haikyuu writing!🥹 I was wondering if I can request kageyama, tsukishima and hinata (separate ofc) or whoever you want leaving lipstick lipstick stains on their faces I just think that’s so cute ❤️😪

[✦] - 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐏𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒

You leaving lipstick stains on their faces

notes : idk if u wanted headcanons or scenarios. Sorry if u wanted scenarios instead

warnings : MANGA SPOILERS, kissing??? Hinata's is kinda vague sorry

pairings : kageyama x fem!reader, tsukishima x fem!reader, hinata x fem!reader

𝐊𝐄𝐈 𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐌𝐀

It was a prank. Tsukishima would have noticed straight away that there was lipstick if it wasn't. You were quite excited that this prank might just work.

Right before he went to practice, you kiss him on his cheek with a grin on your face. He asks you why you were smiling, but you shrug it off. Unlike any other day, he doesn't really take it into mind and goes to practice.

Literally the second he enters the gymnasium, Kyotani looks him up and down and say "had fun?"

Kei is confused. He honestly doesn't understand why Kyotani asked him that. He raised an eyebrow and answered his question with another question, "what do you mean?"

Kogane, who was listening to the whole conversation, bursts out laughing.

"Didn't you look in the mirror?" He can hardly get the words out, too busy laughing to see that his usual unaffectionate teammate doesn't notice that he has red lipstick on his cheek.

When he pulls out his phone from his pocket and looks at himself in the camera, the man is beyond annoyed AND embarrassed. Two emotions that Tsukishima didn't want to feel right now. He's gonna have a talk with you after practice.

𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐎 𝐊𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐘𝐀𝐌𝐀

In his case, neither Tobio or you noticed. It was really just an accidental thing. He was already in a rush, so he didn't care to look at himself once.

When he goes to practice, most of his teammates kinda just stare at him for a few seconds until all of them make a plan to not question Kags on why his neck is pinkish and just see how long it will be until he realizes.

Ushijima really wasn't up for it, but the others convinced him (random, but he's ushi so why not)

It wasn't that long until Tobio started to feel eyes on him, though. Whenever he felt someone staring, he'd mouth the word 'what?' But his teammates always shook their head to show that it was nothing big.

At last, he came up to Hoshiumi and sternly asked him, "What's wrong? Is there anything on my face?"

Hoshiumi looked around the gym a bit and then finally let out a chuckle. "Go look at yourself, dude."

Kags made a weird face a him as if he were trying to say 'why tf would i do that' but, when he actually goes to the bathroom and looks into the mirror, he finally gets it. There's pinkish-red stuff all over his neck.

Lucky you, he sent you a pic before wiping it all off <3

𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐘𝐎 𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐀

This happened at a family reunion, so expect to feel second hand embarrasment

just moments before shoyo's mum opened the door, you gave him a kiss, knowing that you had lipstick on. You wanted to tell him and rub it off, but there was no time.

Shoyo's mum was already smiling when she welcomed you two in, but her smile grew when she saw Shoyo's cherry lips. She was hoping to see how long it would go until her son notices, but her daughter ruined it all.

Natsu ran up to her brother and hugged him tightly after months of not seeing him, but when she looked up, she started giggling. She didn't even ask him what it was. "Ewwww nii-chan, you were kissing (y/n) ?"

He was kinda put on the spot with that because didn't realize that he kissed you while you had lipstick on. So, he didn't really know what to do except turn his head to you and depend on you to answer.

Requests are open!

#haikyuu!!#hq #hq!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff #hinata x reader #tsukishima x reader #kageyama x reader #shotyo hinata #kei tsukishima #tobio kageyama

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anathemaspeaks · 18 days

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what was i made for?

character(s): toji fushiguro synopsis: toji doesn't believe he deserves love - until you come along. word count: 0.6k warning(s): none, it's purely fluff a/n: tried something new lemme know how you feel about thisss

reblogs, follows, and likes are appreciated :)

i used to float, now i just fall down i used to know, but i'm not sure now what was i made for?

toji who thinks he is not worthy of love. he is not a man deserving enough to have someone to care for him, someone who chooses to stay with him simply because they want to, not because they gain something out of it. all he did was cause pain, anyways. he was better off alone.

what was i made for?

his path had been one of solitude for god knows how long. looked down upon by everyone, barely surviving physically and mentally - a man, no, a monster who gave up his own son. people like him don't get second chances.

nobody can love a monster. nobody even wants to be around one.

taking a drive, i was an ideal looked so alive, turns out i'm not real just something you paid for

toji who had no one left in this world, nothing to live for, nothing but a shell of the man he used to be - the man he could have been. he was useless. empty. a man without a purpose. someone else's puppet. he didn't have any power over his own life. he was pathetic.

what was i made for? cause i don't know how to feel but i wanna try

vacant, brutal words engraved onto his soul. he was a monster, and he always will be. that is just how his life will be - his destiny. he would just be alive, never quite living, silently wishing he could end it all.

i don't know how to feel but someday, i might

and then you - who crashes into his life in all your frustratingly captivating glory and finds a home in his heart. you thought toji fushiguro was no monster, he was just a man who had been hurt and misunderstood far too many times. a broken man. you saw right through his tough façade. you were the first person who showed him how it felt to be seen as something other than a fraud of a human.

when did it end? all the enjoyment i'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend it's not what he's made for what was i made for?

falling in love with you was the easiest thing he ever had to do. you, with your kind eyes and gentle smile. you, with your warm words and and comforting presence. you, who never pitied him. quite the opposite, really. a man who had been through so much, and who still fought so hard every single day, how could you not be wonderstruck and completely infatuated by him?

you, the only person who made him feel safe.

cause i don't know how to feel but i wanna try

toji, who would rather die than ever see you cry. toji, who doesn't really know what love is, but gives you the whole world. toji, who isn't used to healthy communication, but for you, he tries. toji, who still has a lot to learn, but is perfect in your eyes. toji, who is only happy when he's with you. toji, who is always there for you. toji hadn't been sure of anything in his life until you.

i don't know how to feel but someday, i might

toji who gets his spark back. he knows who he is, and it's all because of you. toji who fixes his life, but can he even call it his when it's all for you? toji who doesn't even have to think twice about it when he asks you to marry him.

and you don't have to think twice about it when you say yes.

think i forgot how to be happy something i'm not, but something i can be

toji who would gladly spend the rest of his life with you. he was a man who had nothing, but with you in his arms, he has the whole world. a man considered to be stoic and unaffectionate, absolute putty in your hands. you would always have him wrapped around your finger.

and he would have it no other way.

something i wait for something i'm made for

toji, who finally gets the happy ever after he thought he didn't deserve.

this is all based on a true story btw, we're getting married soon 💋

#anathema writes #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jjk x you #jjk x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk toji #toji x reader #toji x you #toji smut #jjk smut #fushiguro toji #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro x y/n #jjk fushiguro

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girls-are-weird · 10 months

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YR fanfic pet peeves (and corrections): latin america edition

so. i was originally going to post this in january as a kind of "new year, new opportunity to learn about simon's hispanic heritage" kind of a thing, but life got busy, and then my computer died and i lost my original list, so i've had to reconstruct this from memory as best as i could. there may be some stuff missing, so perhaps i'll just keep adding to this post as missing/new points come to mind.

disclaimer 1: if you've included any of the points made here on any fanfic of yours, please don't take this as a call-out. this isn't intended to shame anyone, but rather as an educational opportunity. it's very rare that a latin american nationality that is not mexican or colombian or puerto rican is showcased in an international show, especially outside of the US, and it's given me such joy to have all of you lovely folks make the effort to be open to and research and understand the idiosyncrasies of simon's (and omar's) heritage because the rest of latin america tends to go overlooked in most other fandoms. so i don't intend to scold anyone with this. we can't all know everything about every other culture-- lord knows i don't know everything about sweden, but i want to be respectful to the country and its people and that is why i heavily research anything i don't know and ask people who do know when my research doesn't quite cover it and am open to corrections when even that falls short. i expect most of you come to write about simon's family background in good faith and also want to be respectful to his family's culture, and so i thought i might make things a bit easier for you all by putting the most common errors/misunderstandings i've seen in one handy post. but once again, it's not a call-out, i don't get offended by these things, and i'm in no way implying, if you've done any of these things in fic or in life, that you are a bad person. i understand people make mistakes when they don't know things.

disclaimer 2: i am not venezuelan myself. i was born and raised in the same general region of latin america, though, and i have venezuelan friends and have worked with venezuelan people and have visited venezuela. generally speaking, i feel their culture is very similar to mine (though our spanish is much closer to spanglish than theirs is, haha xD) and feel a deep kinship with them. but of course, i'm no native, and if you're venezuelan and catch anything here that you feel is incorrect, feel free to point it out and i'll add a correction in your name.

warning: this is very long. christ almighty. DX if you can't make it to the end, tl;dr-- feel free to ask if you have any questions or if anything isn't clear. my ask box/messages are always open.

1- "mijo." this is the only one that legit has caused me to click out of several fics/chapters, at least in the beginning, but i've learned to grin and bear it by now. it's not so much that it's wrong, per se, but rather it's more of a location issue. "mijo" is, to my ears, very much a mexican (or, if you stretch it, northern triangle) slang. it IS used sparingly in other countries, but rarely used unironically. instead, if you hear the term used in the caribbean region of latin america (which my country is part of, as is a large part of venezuela), it's almost always used… let's say sarcastically. for example, if your grown-ass adult friend is being a dumbass and doing something reckless, you might call out "oiga, mijo, se va a romper el cuello" ("hey, mijo, you're going to break your neck"). basically, it's a way of calling someone immature like a child. it doesn't have to be ENTIRELY unaffectionate (kinda like the way someone might call their significant other "idiot" or "dummy" but mean it endearingly. in fact, in colombia it's way more common for spouses to call each other "mijo/a" than it is for them to call their children that), but you can also use it with complete strangers-- like if someone cuts sharply into your lane while you're driving, you might yell at them "oiga, mijo, a donde le enseñaron a manejar, en un potrero?!" ("hey, mijo, where did you learn how to drive, in a horse paddock?!"). but even in these sarcastic/neggy cases, it's rare. and EVEN RARER to hear a mother call her children "mijo" or "mija" in this region. it's just not a thing. so when i read it in fanfic, it immediately takes me out of the story because it's so weird to me that linda would sound mexican-- it's a very distinctive accent, which carmen gloria 1000000% does not have. (plus, "mijo" in spanish is a type of birdseed. so it gave me a chuckle the first few times i read it in a fic because i always have that brief second of confusion where i go "why is linda calling simon birdseed?" before it clicks. xD i'm a dork.) it's much more likely that linda would just say "hijo" or "mi hijo," instead.

1b- the way you decide on whether to use "hijo" or "mi hijo" is important because "mi hijo" can sound overly formal in the modern context especially, much like it would in english. in fact, you can use the english version of it, "son" vs "my son" to guide you on which of the two to use. like for example, if linda were to say directly to simon "i love you, my son," she would sound oddly old-timey and anachronistic, so you would just use "son" ("hijo") in that case. whereas if she's talking about simon with someone else, for example saying "i told my son to be here on time," you'd be perfectly okay to use "mi hijo" in that sentence in spanish. it's very transferable in that case.

2- speaking of non-transferable, though, you can't use "cariño" in all instances you would use "sweetheart" or "sweetie." it really depends on the grammatical construction, and it can be tricky to get it right, but it depends on whether you're using it as a direct address or as an object. for example, if you're using it in place of someone's name-- say, a mother telling her child "te quiero, cariño" ("i love you, sweetheart/sweetie") is perfectly fine, because in that case, she could also say "te quiero, hijo" ("i love you, son") or "te quiero, simon" ("i love you, simon"). but if, say, simon says to wille "you're my sweetheart," you would not use "cariño" there; you'd go instead with some syrupy way to say "boyfriend," like "eres mi novio" or "eres mi enamorado" or even "eres mi amor," and if sara tells felice "you're a sweetheart," that would also not involve "cariño" at all. in addition, "cariño" is also very rarely used in plural; if linda is using a term of endearment for both her kids, or for a group of teens her kids' age, she would use a different term of endearment altogether: "hola, mis amores" ("hi, my loves"), "hola, bebés" ("hi, babies") or "hola, mis tesoros" ("hi, my treasures") among some examples. one exception is when you say "cariños míos" ("my sweethearts"), but very rarely the plural by itself. in fact, "cariño" is often slang for gift or present, especially in the diminutive-- for example, if you go to someone's celebratory party for some occassion (birthdays, graduations, baby showers, heck even christmas), you might hand them a small gift and go "te traje un cariñito" ("i brought you a small present"), and if it's more than one gift, or you're bringing gifts for several people, then you'd say "unos cariños" or "unos cariñitos" in the plural.

3- simon's skin is tan, not tanned. this… doesn't personally bug me as much because it's more of an english grammar issue, but i know people who might actually feel very offended if you get this one wrong with respect to them. "tan" is a color; a light shade of brown. "tanned" implies the original color of your skin has darkened with the sun. now, i'm sure simon can tan (lucky goat, says she whose skin burns even while indoors), but about 95% of the time "tanned" is used in YR fanfiction, it's used as a descriptor of the color of simon's skin as we see it on the show. that would imply his skin used to be lighter at some indeterminate before-time and has been darkened by the sun. this is incorrect; that is the natural color of simon's skin. so stick to "tan skin" instead (not tan PERSON, mind you. his SKIN is tan, he is not). and i would gently suggest that if you take away any single thing from this post, make it ESPECIALLY this point, as someone more sensitive than me might interpret this error as some kind of retroactive whitewashing. and i don't want anyone here to get in trouble for simply not knowing.

4- pabellón criollo is one dish, yes, but it's four different FOODS. it's not something a newbie would be able to make off of a recipe (i don't know how to make it and i've been eating it all my life), and it's not something that's likely to be taught in just one day. also, if you're bringing it to a dinner or a potluck, you're bringing four separate food containers, not just one.

4b- also, venezuelan food, for the most part, is not particularly spicy. you CAN make it spicy if you want, but traditionally, it is not. it's flavorful, maybe even saucy depending on the dish, but rarely spicy. i know the joke of white people being unable to handle spice is funny, but there's also plenty of us hispanic people who are equally terrible at it, because there's different levels of spice in the food from different regions of latin america. besides, as a friend of mine perfectly put: we are living in the 21st century now. if you can eat mild mexican food, you should be able to handle traditional venezuelan food just fine. and i'm pretty sure there's mexican food in sweden. plus, wille would probably be more used to international food-- not only does he have the means, but having traditional meals in foreign countries is kind of part of the job.

5- while i'm at it: simon is definitely half venezuelan. this is canon as of S2. there is no other place in the world where that dish is called pabellón. please keep that in mind when you're writing and researching.

5b- this, along with several of the points above, is important because it's a bit of diaspora trauma that whenever we venture outside of latin america and people learn we're latino, they immediately assume we're mexican, or that our culture and traditions are the same as those of mexican people. it happens often, and it's incredibly annoying. not that there's anything wrong with mexico or mexican people-- they're lovely, and their traditions and culture and food are fantastic-- but we are not them, and treating us like we are is reductive. the rest of latin america can be very different and incredibly diverse, and it can be dispiriting when people treat us like we're all the same. so that is why it is important when writing about simon, his family or his venezuelan roots, that you take care to actually research things as they are in venezuela, and not just pick the low-hanging fruit of latino facts you might've learned through pop cultural osmosis, which eight times out of ten will be mexican-only because most hispanic people in the US are mexican and the US exports its media all over the world. i've learned to just roll my eyes at it by now, but some people might actually feel offended or hurt, and i'm sure nobody here intends for that to happen.

6- although simon speaks spanish, neither he nor sara nor his mother nor any aspect of his mother's culture is spanish. "spanish" is what people from spain call themselves. people from spanish-speaking latin american countries are not spanish; we are hispanic, or latino/a/e. "latinx" is… let's call it controversial, at least outside of the US. most people born and raised in latin america don't like it; i personally don't get offended if people use it, but i don't use the term myself. also, you can say "latin food" or "latin music," but we usually don't refer to PEOPLE as latin, but rather latino/a/e. if in doubt, just use latin american or hispanic. they're also conveniently gender neutral.

EDIT: @andthatisnotfake also brought up a very important point: "if you spell it latinx, it makes it harder for screen readers to read (or so I've been told) and some people depend on those, so there's another reason to avoid it." (the unpronounceability of that term is at least part of the reason why hispanic people who live in latin america don't like it.)

6b- never use "the latino/a" on its own to refer to people. "latino/a/e" is an adjective, not a noun, so you would say "the latino boy" or "the latino man" but never just "the latino." kinda like it would be weird to point out the one japanese man in a room as "the japanese." there are some nationality/ethnic terms that just don't work as nouns in english.

7- spanish is not simon's one native language-- or at least not any more than swedish is. he grew up in a mixed-race household, speaking two different languages. it's pointless to call spanish his native language when comparing it to swedish. both are his native languages. also, while we're at this, wille is probably at least bilingual (i'm assuming he can speak at least english), although he only has one native language. it's hardly a competition between the two boys as to who's more of a polyglot.

7b- simon wouldn't take classes on the spanish language-- like to learn how to SPEAK the language-- since spanish is one of his native languages. he wouldn't take them at hillerska, nor in university, nor elsewhere. he wouldn't be allowed. you're literally not allowed to take classes on your native language, nor get credit for said classes. trust me, those would've been an easy extra 24 credits for me in college if that was a thing.

EDIT: have been made aware (thanks, @rightsogetthis and @plantbasedfish!) that at least in sweden and in finland one IS allowed to take classes of your non-swedish/finnish native language, in certain circumstances. i have to say, i'd be pissed if i were taking my french classes alongside a french native speaker, but hey, the system's the system, i guess. ;) so i've struck this one out.

8- dear god please don't use google translate for your spanish translations. listen, i'm not judging-- i do it with other languages, too, when i'm in a pinch. but google translate is literally The Worst (tm) so i always try to either check with someone, or stick to the stuff i already know is correct. seriously, you don't want to know the kinds of crazy stuff GT can spit out that people actually put out in the real world; some of them are quite hilarious. if you're unsure, my ask box/messages are always open and i looooove helping people with this kind of thing, hispanic language and cultural stuff. i know it seems like i'm hardly around, but i do check my messages. don't be shy, even if it's something really small.

PS: while i'm talking pet peeves, malin is wille's bodyguard, not his butler. she's nice enough to attend to him at hillerska because there's no other palace staff around and she's literally stationed outside his door, but she wouldn't do that in the actual palace. there's other staff for that. she wouldn't even guard him at the palace, i don't think, because the royal palaces in sweden are guarded by the royal guard, not SÄPO. if anything, malin might spend the time while wille is in the palace grounds at a gatehouse (like in YR 2x03 and onwards) or at some kind of security office in the palace, and then get called whenever wille needs to go anywhere. she wouldn't be giving wille messages from the queen or walking guests to wille's room or anything like that. that's not her job. (sorry, i had to get that off my chest, lol.)

#young royals #young royals netflix #netflix #simon eriksson #sara eriksson #linda eriksson #omar rudberg #carmen gloria perez #latin america #latino #hispanic #latin american culture #latin culture #latino culture #hispanic culture #spanish language #i hope this is helpful #if not feel free to ignore lol

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hoedamn-eron · 9 months

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what he didn't do

Being Miguel O’Hara’s partner was exhausting.

Warnings: Angsty. Not a happy ending. Edited on phone so prone to mistakes. Word count: 2,441 GN!Reader, no use of Y/N.

Inspired by What He Didn't Do, by Carly Pearce. Sorry this is also late, I was supposed to post it yesterday.

Your relationship with Miguel O’Hara was…stagnant. Unaffectionate. One-sided.

But it never used to be. You both used to be head over heels in love, almost sickly so. Everyone would say that you were ‘good for each other’, that you were both what ‘everyone wanted to be’, and you would always shy away from the compliments, but you knew they were right. You and Miguel were soulmates, and you couldn’t help but feel a little smug when your friends gushed over you both.

He used to show up at your office, randomly, with flowers or a new outfit, claiming you would be going on a date after work. He’d take you away on spontaneous romantic trips, and you would be all over each other when you were together. How could you not be? He was gorgeous, and a wonderful man. You knew this was the man you wanted to settle down with and marry.

But now he was distant, and ignorant, and you barely spent time together. You didn’t know what changed.

You grimace to yourself. That was a lie, you did know what changed. He became obsessed with keeping the canon events rolling, so much so that you hadn’t really seen him in months. You don’t even remember the last time you kissed. All he did was spend his days sat by that screen, watching old memories of him and his daughter. You felt for him, truly, but he was so obsessed with the past, that his future was fading from him, and fast.

The last straw for you was when he missed your anniversary. You waited for him for two hours, in your apartment, where he said he’d pick you up after work. Your calls got ignored, and you eventually stopped leaving a voicemail every time. When you saw him the next day, coming home to your shared apartment late and in a blatant bad mood, obviously having no idea what he’d done the night before, you mentally checked out of the relationship.

You moved out of the apartment in Nueva York slowly, not that he’d notice, since he was never there anyway. You managed to wrangle the help of Peter every now and then, for the bigger pieces of furniture. After a month and a half, you were gone. You took your name off the lease and emailed a copy of it to Miguel. If he didn’t think so before, he definitely knew now that you were done.

But he didn’t…do anything. It was as if you were strangers. He didn’t approach you, didn’t come and beg you to take him back. He didn’t apologise, didn’t make it up to you. You gave this man years of your life, which now, you realised, obviously meant more to you than they did him. After this devastating conclusion, you tried to avoid Miguel as much as you physically could. Despite how pissed off you had been and how you had already mourned the relationship, it still hurt to see him, or even talk about him.

However, you worked within the Spider Society as a general PA. It was tough to get through this particularly tough period of your life when your friends kept talking about him.

“He’s more pissed off than he usually is,” said Jess as you meet up with her and Peter for your weekly lunch date at your local Spider King.

You choose not to answer her as you eat your fries.

“He isn’t getting laid anymore,” joked Peter before giving you a wince. “Sorry.”

You shrug. “It’s whatever. He wasn’t getting laid anyway, at least not from me.”

��Is that why you broke up?” Jess asked. “Did he cheat on you? I’ll kill him for you, if he did.”

“No, he didn’t,” you say quickly (you don’t want any rumours floating around) before you shrug.

“So what did he do?” Jess asked.

The question through you for a loop, and you frowned, thinking about it.

It wasn’t what he did, really. It was what he didn’t do.

He didn’t put you first. It was always about the canon events, how they had to keep ticking over. Despite there being thousands of Spider People, Miguel seemed to always have to be the one to fix it. He couldn’t just be with you, at home, just because he wanted to be at home, where you would have planned a movie night, or arranged a date night for you both. He didn’t fight for you when he found out you had left, he didn’t hold on to you for dear life, that you were worth something; he just seemed to accept the fact that you were gone.

But you won’t tell anyone that. You won’t tell them the Hell that Miguel had put you through, that you’ll leave people to guess about what happened. So you shrug at Jess’s question. “We just...fizzled out.”

It wasn’t technically a lie.

“That’s a shame,” Jess said. “I thought you guys would be end game. I was sure you were both going to get married.”

You snort an unamused laugh. “Me too.”

Your tone indicated that you didn’t want to carry on the conversation, and Peter, bless his soul, changed the subject to Mayday’s new daycare, since MJ decided she needed to socialise with ‘regular people’. She’d apparently found it hard to fit in. After lunch you give your friends a goodbye before you make your way back to your office. You try to keep your head down these days, since you want to avoid conversations like you just had with your friends (and honestly, you still couldn’t bear to bump into Miguel). You usually had no problem avoiding anyone but today, someone, somewhere, just wanted to see you suffer.

He was stood, outside your office, looking as gorgeous as he always does. For once, he wasn’t in his Spider Suit, just a pair of sweatpants and a too tight white t-shirt, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, looking down at the floor with that frown on his face, then one where he was deep in thought. Back in the day, you would have jokingly ‘smoothed’ out the lines in his forehead before giving him a kiss, telling him he needed to come out of his own head. You push the feeling of familiarity away before clearing your throat, pulling out your keys to unlock your office. “Can I help you, Miguel?”

“We need to talk,” he replied, his face as stony as always.

“What about?” you ask as you open your office door, walking through, still not looking at him. You felt sick. You weren’t expecting this today. You thought he had moved on, since he hadn’t spoken to you since you moved out over a month ago.

Miguel strides into your office and closes the door. “You know what about.”

You pause minutely before taking a deep breath and sighing through your nose. “Right. Okay.”

You take a seat at your desk, finally looking at him as he sat opposite you. He looked tired; or more tired than usual. Those dark circles that were now a permanent feature on his face were darker than when you last saw him. You wanted to tell him he had to take it easy, to start looking after himself, but that wasn’t your job. He wasn’t yours to worry about anymore.

You cross your arms and lean them on your desk, trying to come across as nonchalant, but you probably looked uncomfortable. “You wanna talk about the break-up?”

“Yes,” Miguel said. You both stared at each other in silence for a few moments before Miguel breaks it with a, “You broke up with me.”

You’re study him for a minute before you nod. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“If you have to ask, then it was the right decision.”

He gives you an incredulous look. He was always more emotive with you. “I know that I was working more - “

You couldn’t help it. You let out a snort of a laugh, shaking your head in disbelief. “That’s an understatement. By the time I moved out, I hadn’t seen you in person for at least a week. And I was taking my stuff slowly for a month before. You didn’t notice.”

“I have to keep the canon events going, I can’t...I can’t not,” he says, sounding fed up; drained. “And coming home to you was the only thing that kept me going.”

You shake your head. “Don’t say that.”

“Say what?” he asks, his tone slightly harsh.

“Saying that I was the only thing that kept you going, like I was everything to you,” you say.

“You were - “

“Do you know how many times I caught you staring at your screen of old memories of you and Gabriella?” you asked. “How I waited for you every night for you to not come home? How you forgot important dates, like our anniversary?”

He cringes at that.

You look at him with an almost desperate look on your face. “I know that Gabriella was an important part of your life. I understand how you’re hurting, and you blame yourself for what happened, but you cannot let it overtake your life, Migs. You’re letting your past affect your present, your future, and look what’s happening.”

“What am I supposed to do? Just let universes collapse?”

“No, Miguel, I’m not – “ you sigh, closing your eyes as you pinch the bridge of your nose in frustration. “I know that you need to keep the canon going. I understand that it’s your job, but…it’s not your only thing to worry about.”

You open your eyes and his expression breaks your heart, especially after a few moments he whispers out, “I’m sorry.”

The room falls silent again. Your heart skips a beat like it normally does when you find yourself staring at him; he was so good looking, and rough around the edges, his soul calloused and scarred from years of hard work and demanding tasks, and the battles he's fought but you know he’s not as tough as he seems. He’s a real softy, really. You knew from when he used to be with you more, earlier in your relationship, when he would come home after a rough day and practically whine to be in your arms, his face snuggled in your chest.

Or when he would come up behind you when you were cooking in your kitchen, and he would wrap his arms around you. He towered over you, so he practically enveloped you every time he did it. And he’d always slowly sway you, even though there wouldn’t be any music. You’d always end up having a slow dance break from cooking, and you’d always end up giggling before telling him to go wash his hands because dinner would almost be ready.

And he was soft in the way that he used to whisper to you how much he loved you, how he was so happy to have found you, that he felt whole to have you, that he truly felt at home when you were around. He used to give you this smile, that you never saw around everyone else, but only when you were alone; it was a reverence that showcased the depths of his affection for you, that he trusted you, that he was safe with you, and you with him. You found solace with each other.

But that was gone now.

“All I wanted was to be put first,” you whisper, your eyes swimming in tears you hadn’t realised were there. “Just once in a while.”

“I can work on that,” Miguel says quickly. “I can…I can take a few less jobs, I can be at home more – “

“Migs,” you say, already shaking your head, a few tears slowly falling.

“Please, mi amor,” Miguel whispers, reaching over your desk to hold your hands tightly. Your chest tightens at the familiar nickname you hadn’t heard in so long. “Please, come home. I’ll get better, I’ll be better. I’ve been miserable without you.”

You want to make a quip about how he’s miserable most of the time anyway, but you hold back the comment. It would be spiteful, and you had moved on from being angry, and upset, and you were far from being spiteful. “I can’t, Miguel.”

“Please, mi amor,” he says again, his hands squeezing yours just a little tighter.

You don’t know what to do. This was the most you’d spoken to him in weeks…probably months, and he was begging you to come back to him. You were so torn. What if you take him back and he goes back to his old ways again, down the line? Would you be willing to give up more years of your life for Miguel O’Hara for him to throw them in your face again?

You’re ready to tell him no, to tell him to never contact you again, but you remember your relationship before. Now that he’d seen what his actions had done, would he put in the effort? Would he be willing to work on himself, to work on your relationship? You know that you couldn’t go back to the way things used to be, your trust in him has dwindled to almost nothing. And you were alone, picking up the pieces of your broken heart and he hadn’t even realised until you were long gone.

“I can’t,” you finally say, removing your hands from his. You swiftly wipe at the tears on your face, averting your eyes from his. “I can’t…put myself through that again.”

You can see his chest rising and falling just a little more heavier than before, and you knew you couldn’t look at him. If you looked at him, you would cave, and you’d be back to square one.

After a few moments, Miguel answers. “Okay.” He stands, and you still can’t look at him. You hear him walk away from you, reaching your door but he pauses. “I’m sorry, again. For everything. And for bothering you today.”

He quickly opens your door and stalks out, and you wince as he closes it with a slam. You feel your shoulders go slack, unaware that you were so wound up in the first place. You let yourself sit alone, silently crying for the end of your relationship with Miguel, romantic and otherwise. Maybe with some space and time, you could look into being friends again, but for now, you will close this chapter of your life and think back on your relationship with Miguel as a hard learning curve.

In the end, you’ll be okay. You always are.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o’hara x f!reader #miguel x reader #miguel x f!reader #into the spider verse #oscar isaac

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earlgreydream · 2 years

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𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐥. | 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫!𝐤𝐲𝐥𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: overwhelmed by sexual tension with your stepbrother, until your best friend suggests giving in. 3.4k

𝐜𝐰: stepcest, drinking, kylo being a perv, sex while intoxicated

𝐚/𝐧: okay i promised @little-diable that i would finish this like 2.5 months ago but then life got out of control for a second. i know it's been a long time since i've posted, and i hope this makes up for it

“He’s cute!” Your friend whispered, smirking as she twisted a lock of dark hair around her finger.

“He is my new stepbrother. And he’s an asshole,” you sighed from behind your mirrored, heart-shaped sunglasses.

Kylo’s gaze broke away from his friends to rest on you, admiring your body in your tiny yellow bikini. Dark eyes studied your form, the curve of your hip bones and the way the fabric hugged your chest.

“Kylo, your new sister is a real piece of ass. Watch out, I could become your stepbrother,” Vicrul laughed, encouraged by the other boys’ amusement.

“Shut the fuck up about her!”

Kylo shoved his friend, one of those you unaffectionately referred to as ‘his gang’ — part of the group that were always making noise in your living room and leaving empty beer cans in the recycling.

“Look at his muscles,” your friend breathed, practically salivating over the dark-haired terror that had infiltrated your life.

“That’s gross, he’s my brother now.”

“Step-brother,” she corrected, “which means you aren’t technically related… therefore—”

You shook your head, standing up and walking past the group of boys to go inside the house, wanting one of the glass bottled sodas from the fridge more than you wanted to hear the rest of her vulgar fantasy. The boys’ heads turned as you walked by, and you quickened your steps as you heard one of them whistle at you.

Two months ago, your mother had remarried Han Solo, he and his son, Kylo, two years older than you, moved into your home. You hadn’t had a moment of peace since, Kylo and his stupid friends always in the house, or at the pool in the backyard.

You weren’t oblivious to the way he looked at you, or how he stared at your body when you climbed out of the pool, water dripping down your curves, between the valley of your breasts as you shook your hair out.

“Hey,” Kylo’s gravely voice snapped you out of your thoughts. It wasn’t affectionate, Kylo never spoke to you unless it was absolutely necessary, asking where the TV remote was or what time Han and your mom were getting home from their date.

You looked up at him, ducking out of the way as he reached over your head to pull a 6-pack from the top of the fridge. He didn’t say anything else as he carried it back outside, a frown etching onto your face as his cold tone turned your heart to ice.

“Still haven’t made any progress with Kylo?” Han’s voice came from behind you, making you whirl around.

“He’s not exactly a fan of me. Definitely doesn’t have an interest in being friends.”

“He’ll warm up to you. Kylo’s a tough one to crack, he just needs time.”

You walked back outside after forcing a halfhearted smile, handing a drink to your friend before slipping into the hot tub with her. You watched your step brother from behind your glasses, your eyes dancing across his deep v-lines.

“So, this party on Saturday. You have to come. I can’t believe you made it all the way through high school a virgin—”

“Shh!” You hushed her, but the boys had clearly heard, smirking at you, though Kylo’s expression was darker. He shifted, hiding the growing tent in his shorts as his mind simmered on the thought of you being pure and untouched, sleeping in the room next to his in nothing but panties and an old Pink Floyd tee.

“What exactly is your point?” You sighed, tipping the bottle back against your lips.

“You have to get laid this weekend! Come on, before college. It will do you some good, help you not be so uptight."

“Fine. Help me pick out something to wear then,” you gave in, willing to go along with her so that you could get away from Kylo's friends.

Kylo dreamt of you.

Ever since he’d moved into your house, thoughts of you plagued every inch of Kylo’s mind. He jerked his cock imagining it was your hand, much smaller than his, your skin soft and delicate.

“Kylo, dude, get a fuckin’ grip,” Ushar laughed, shaking Kylo’s shoulder as he handed the controller off to the other boy.

“Sorry.”

“You’re not thinking about your little sister are you? Just fuck her already, stop with this down bad bullshit.”

“I’m not fucking my virgin stepsister!” Kylo snapped, sensitive to the topic his friends had been relentlessly teasing him about since he’d drunkenly confessed that he’d fantasized about you.

Fantasized didn’t quite cover it.

When you were gone on a weekend getaway, Kylo snuck into your bedroom. It was odd without your presence, your body not curled up on the bed, clutching the fantasy novels you loved. No music in the background, your friend not in the chair in the corner singing along to Vor í Vaglaskógi as she often did.

He felt dirty, conviction gripping his mind as if he were knelt before a priest in church, though any god would abandon him the moment he went through with the plan that had brought him into your bedroom.

Kylo found his way to your drawers, lingering for a moment, listening for any sound, making sure his father wasn’t coming up the stairs to ask him for a favor, to catch him in the deviant act.

The wood slid open, revealing the laces and silks that Kylo longed to see, but were hidden beneath your clothes. Ever since he had caught you bending forward to get something and catching a glimpse of your ass in a thong, it was all he could think about. His fingers trailed over the delicate fabrics, closing around a deep green silk piece. Kylo acted on instinct, no hesitation in the way he brought it up to his nose, inhaling your scent, wishing his face was buried between your thighs so he could press his full lips to your snatch through the pathetically thin fabric.

A noise came from down the hall, and Kylo quickly shoved your panties into his pocket before closing the drawer, hoping you wouldn’t miss them.

“Kylo? What are you doing?” Han questioned, catching Kylo in your room just as he reached the doorway, narrowly missing his escape. His father stared at him, almost able to hear the way Kylo’s heart was racing.

“Looking for my phone charger. I let her borrow it and she forgot to give it back before going to Santa Monica,” Kylo lied smoothly, the words tumbling from the tongue of a sinner, a man who was acting on dark fantasies of ruining his little sister.

Han seemed convinced enough, offering Kylo the charger from his office until you got back, and Kylo could only pray that he wouldn’t mention it to you.

There was no one listening to the prayers of a predator.

"This is too short," you argued with your friend, turning and checking out the little black dress that barely covered your ass.

"Nope. It's perfect," she insisted as you kept tugging the fabric down.

She handed you a tube of lipstick, and you leaned forward in the mirror, applying it to your lips as she hummed along to the song in the background. She grabbed her keys off of your nightstand, pushing her feet into dangerously high heels that made her seem even taller than she already was, walking through your home like a goddess past Kylo's friends, their gazes following the two of you out the door.

"Why are we driving?"

"Because, I'm not walking in these shoes," she laughed, climbing into the sharp black car before driving the short distance to a peer's home, one infamous for throwing wild house parties at the edge of your neighbourhood.

"Ready to make some memories?" She put a flask in your hand, grinning as your head tipped back, the syrupy liquid going down easing.

"To losing your virginity," she took a shot after you, pregaming in the car before entering the house.

Some kids you knew from highschool instantly swept her up into conversation, all fighting over her affections. One of the girls put another drink in your hand, pulling your wrist to the middle of the living room to get you to dance. You’d tried to stay with your friend, but you slipped by unnoticed as everyone crowded around her, desperate for even a second of her attention.

You giggled, swaying to the music and wrapping your arm around the neck of a boy you'd always sort of fancied, one with ginger hair that whispered filth in your ear. He’d once written you a love letter in high school, leaving it in your locker.

"Can I get you another drink?" Armie questioned, and you nodded, stepping out of the living room onto the back porch to get out of the noise while you waited for his return.

"How's your quest going?"

You turned at the question, taking a half-step back as Kylo's friends, Vicrul and Ushar, teased you. They'd overheard the conversations in the hot tub, and you could practically sense Kylo laughing somewhere in the shadows.

"Leave me alone," you tried to strengthen your voice, not letting the obvious fear bleed through. They made you nervous, always making you feel like prey cornered by a predator, ready to be devoured and helpless to stop it.

"Come on now, I know a couple of willing participants," Ushar reached out to touch the hem of your short skirt, causing you to stumble backward into a hard body.

"That's enough," Kylo's cold tone snapped through the awkward tension, the two instantly backing off.

"Hey," Kylo tried to grab your wrist, only to be sure that you didn't want a ride home, away from the loud party he knew you weren't fond of.

You jerked away and hurried to Armie, the ginger who was returning with your drinks. You didn’t want to be near Kylo, frightened by his friends and confused by your sexual arousal toward your stepbrother.

"Thanks," you wrapped your arm around his neck, swallowing the shot before your lips met his, a sight that left Kylo's blood boiling.

"You okay?" Armie asked, smiling almost shyly.

"Great."

Your friend was nowhere to be found, several of Kylo's friends were missing from their pack in the corner, bent around table games, trying to make balls go into the cups. You attempted to ignore them, trying to focus on the ginger in front of you, hoping that eventually you'd complete the night's mission. Kylo's dark gaze burned through you, locked on your body in a way you could nearly feel.

Kylo lusted after you. Seeing Armie kiss you sent a fiery spark of possession through Kylo, finally breaking the dam of need that was now flooding his senses. He watched you glare at him, swallowing shot number - he'd lost count. It was enough to have you tripping over your own feet, becoming easier prey for all the men who wanted you to steal you away from Kylo.

"Get off of her," Kylo growled, shoving Armie off of you.

You'd been tripping your way up the stairs, pulled by the redhead you didn't really want to be with. You wanted to search for your friend, to tell her you had too much to drink and you wanted to go home. At first it seemed like Armie was going to help you find her, but you were fairly certain she wasn't in the upstairs bedrooms, and his intentions were impure.

"Kylo?" you grabbed his arm for stability, thankful for his presence for the first time.

"Touch her again and I'll fucking kill you," Kylo snarled, gripping his collar and pressing his body against the stair railing.

"Stop, please, I just want to leave!" you begged, terrified for a moment that Kylo might actually throw him onto the landing below.

His muscular arm wrapped around your waist, guiding you out of the noisy party, everything overstimulating you. The second you stepped into the cold night air, you heaved, putting your hand on the wall for balance as Kylo tried to support your weight. His large hand rubbed your back, helping you collect yourself as you choked down gags.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine," you mumbled, pulling your heels off and stepping onto the cold sidewalk.

The walk home was silent, as was typical with Kylo, though this felt distinctly different, his hand resting on your lower back. Kylo caught you as you tripped, his arms circling around your waist.

“Sorry, I’m still a bit sloshed,” you confessed, finding your body naturally leaning into his.

“You’re fine, I’m just going to get you home, where none of those fuckers can touch you.”

“Because you’re so much better?” you questioned, earning a dark glare.

“I’m no better than them. I want to fuck you more than anyone else, but I wouldn’t touch you without your permission!”

You were stunned into silence, your chest rising and falling as you looked up into his brown eyes. Your hand wrapped around the back of Kylo’s neck, pulling him down into a forceful kiss before your mind could catch up with your body’s carnal needs. His mouth was hot against yours, his tongue parting your lips as a moan broke from your throat. Kylo’s hands gripped your ass beneath the tiny dress you wore, his fingertips dragging over the silk that hugged your skin. The kiss was filthy, your feet cold on the sidewalk as you stood half a block from your house, only a few yards to decide if you were going to cross the line of fucking your stepbrother.

You finally broke away for air, dizzy from the intensity. His hands were practically burning your skin, only seconds passing before the two of you were stumbling inside, unable to keep your touch off of one another. The house was dark, promising to conceal your secrets as he carried you upstairs, practically throwing you onto his bed.

“Is this what you want?” his voice was low, the words spoken against the underside of your jaw as his mouth went to work marking up your throat.

“I need it, Kylo.”

His hands tore the skimpy dress from your body, not wasting any time before kissing you again, your hands tangling into his black hair. Kylo tasted like bourbon, his tongue on yours and lapping down your now-bare chest. A moan slipped from your lips as he gently sucked at your nipple, rolling the other between his fingers until your hips were squirming on his mattress.

“Kylo, don’t tease me,” you whined, pulling hard on his hair, unable to take the torture anymore as you writhed.

“Take what you’re given,” he hissed, forcing his hips between your legs.

He knelt above you, his fingertips lightly rubbing the silk covering your snatch, a dark patch growing on the fabric as he touched you. An amused smile pulled at his swollen, pink lips as he pulled the thong from your body, the fabric tearing easily under his grip.

“Kylo!”

“Hush, I’ll buy you new ones.”

You tried to close your legs, held open by his waist, wanting to hide yourself from his heady gaze. It wasn’t that you were insecure, but this was new, and him seeing your naked pussy seemed too exposing.

“You’re beautiful, you don’t have to hide,” Kylo whispered before pressing a kiss to your lips, much more gently this time, as his fingers drew figures on your clit. Your thighs squeezed his hips, pathetic little mewls spilling from you as his fingers soaked with your arousal, his middle finger easing inside of you.

Embarrassment rose to your chest as you squeezed down on just two of his fingers pumping in and out of you, his tongue teasing your clit while your legs were draped over his shoulders. Pressure was building between your hips, the knot tightening in your lower abdomen as he ate you out and nudged your g-spot.

“I’m close, I can’t hold it,” your words came out in a strained whine, your body fighting to get away and push him deeper inside of you all at once.

Your whimpers only encouraged Kylo, his fingers curling forward and his swollen lips sucking hard on your clit until you came, screaming into the sheets and gripping his wavy hair. The bit of scruff around his jaw tickled your thighs as he kissed you, his tongue lapping up all of your mess. Your body trembled underneath him, the aftershocks buzzing through your nerves as you recovered.

“I can’t wait any longer,” Kylo’s hands wrapped around your hips, flipping your body face-down.

Your fingers twisted into his sheets as he jerked you onto your knees, your ass in the air as Kylo knelt behind you. His hand rested on the back of your head, pressing it downward as he ground against your sopping cunt, groaning as he sank his cock in you. He was huge, splitting you open with a sharp pain. It was sweet, your head spinning as he filled places inside of you that you weren’t even aware of, stretching you until you were crying out and trying to reach his hand in your hair.

“K… Kylo,” you whimpered, your body reeling forward and your grip finding his headboard as his hips slammed against your ass.

“Your fuckin’ cunt is so sweet,” he hissed, gripping your hair and pulling your head from the sheets to hear your shout.

It hurt and you loved it. He let go of your hips for a brief second, his hand cracking against your ass, leaving a handprint on the delicate skin, and dragging a whimper from your lips. Your breath caught in your throat as he fucked you harder, his hand reaching under you to play with your clit, convinced he could make you come again, despite being raw and overstimulated. Kylo needed to feel you squeeze down on him as you came, desperate to feel you milk him.

“I can’t, I can’t–” you wept, trying to escape his fingers that were roughly toying with your clit, your nerve endings practically a live wire.

“You can take it, you’re a filthy slut who’s fucking your stepbrother, you can come again on my dick,” he jerked hard on your hair, soaking up the sound of your cries.

A shudder rolled down your spine as you gushed around him, unable to hold it off anymore. Your scream was muffled by his hand, holding it over your mouth so your parents didn’t hear the sinful way their stepchildren were fucking. You were disgraced, screaming into his hand and gripping down hard around him as his cum coated your insides, Kylo only continuing to fuck it in deeper. Kylo held your body against his, his sweat-slick chest pressed to your back as he held his hand over your mouth, holding you as you panted. Your muscles were weak, barely able to hold yourself up as the raw ache throbbed between your thighs once he pulled out. Your mess leaked onto his sheets, smearing on your inner thighs in a sight that nearly made Kylo feral.

He reached over, grabbing his discarded tee shirt to clean you up, gently lying you back into the pile of messy pillows. He smirked as you flinched when his touch went to your sex, a soft whimper bleeding from your lips.

“That was okay, for your first time?” he questioned, shocking you with the caring tone his words held.

“Yeah, yes,” you nodded, giggling as he leaned down and kissed you again before standing to find something to slip over your body.

“Wait, don’t go–” you whined, reaching out and grasping his hand.

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere. Just getting you a clean jumper because you’re shivering,” he promised, slipping boxers up his legs before walking to his dresser.

He found a hoodie of his, helping you into the black fabric that was so big it nearly swallowed you. A shy smile graced your face, his arms wrapping around you and pulling you down into his side. You snuggled onto Kylo’s chest, your head nestling against his shoulder.

“So, are we going to tell mom and dad?” you whispered, making his hearty laughter fill the room.

#kylo #kylo ren #kylo smut #kylo ren smut #kylo x reader #kylo ren x reader smut #kylo ren x reader #star wars #star wars au #adam driver #kylo ren imagine #kylo imagine

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