"Astarion is the horny slutty one and Halsin is so pure and wholesome!" Wrong. Halsin is the horniest companion by far. I flirted with him once and ever since then he's constantly telling me that he's down to fuck whenever.
Just because he's huge and softspoken doesn't mean he's not desperately horny at all times. He is and he will tell you so!!!
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genuinely makes my stomach hurt thinking about being cringefail (affectionate) stede bonnet and somehow getting quite literally the absolute hottest piece of ass (and heart and mind) the entirety of the seven seas has EVER seen to fall in love with you to the point of asking you to run away together only to engage in THE biggest flop behavior of the century and LOSE him, and then trying so desperately to reunite with him and win him back but he gives you the (very beautiful and sexily tattooed) cold shoulder in front of two lesbian pirates in an antique shop. i'm gonna be sick
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Tav and Gale being "maybe in another life I could've been yours"
while Tav and Astarion are simultaneously "in every lifetime i would choose you" is really starting to break me
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you cook in the hotd discourse for long enough you start to go crazy. what do you mean it’s a marker of the greens’ insane catholic prudishness and purity culture that alicent thinks uncle niece incest is weird
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