#and i dont want to tell anyone in my personal life because ive fucked things so badly itll just sound like excuses and hollow promises

[britneyshakespeare]

He won't leave my fucking friends alone.

#tales from diana #sorry this is about that bad friend i have to break up w that ive posted abt on and off the past couple weeks/months maybe #i still have to send him that final 'i dont wanna speak to you ever again' #ive been fucking busy ok. my summer has been full of family events and obligations #i have one brother getting married and the other having a baby!!! i have a LIFE and SHIT TO DO and PPL TO BE THERE FOR other than YOU!!! #i havent spoken to him in over 2 months too and he knows it's bc i don't want to #he's so difficult bc you can't fucking tell him the truth. you can't!!! he can't handle it!!! do you know how hard it is to handle??? #the things i have to do to cut him off. because he doesn't respect normal fucking boundaries. make ME feel like im in the wrong #like im the shady person and the liar. #i can't drift from him bc hell pull me back #i can't communicate w him bc he won't hear anything i have to say he'll just turn it around & make it abt himself. #he literally does not understand ppl having motivations to do things that don't relate to him #and he has no sympathy for what he does to other ppl. nothing but self-pity for how they don't like him anymore. #if he dealt w someone who put him through half of what he put ME through. no he couldn't actually. #i only allowed him to manipulate me for so long because i cared abt him. who i thought he was. #and he just point blank period doesn't care about other ppl. so he could never go through what ive gone through w him. #i feel like all this friend breakup has proven to me is that im actually a good person and it can be used against me by ppl who arent #some fucking lesson i needed to learn huh? #i hate feeling as negatively towards anyone as i do towards him. it's so hard for me not to have at least #a little spark of hope deep down for everyone. even ppl ive removed from my life before. i dont HATE them #theyve disappointed me or insulted me or mistreated me but at least their motivations seemed simple and clear #and MOST of them seemed to understand SOMEWHAT that they were in the wrong #even if they don't admit it to me or still find an excuse to hate me. whatever #i can see them as ppl who might feel remorse someday and grow from it #i do not see it in this guy. bc if you have a problem w him he'll only make it 20 times worse. #he's so selfish it genuinely baffles me to think about it. and he's one of the least honest ppl ive ever known. #he'll never see the error of his ways. i do not believe he has that capacity. #and will i say none of this to him? no #im just going to say thanks for leaving me alone these past couple months. it's been good for me. #i don't think i can continue our friendship anymore for my own sake.

[tamagotchikgs]

last post ended up deleting my tags so im continuing them here

#but. #even after all the time i had aparti still went back at 16 #i traveled across the country just to see her again #and it fucking sucked #she ripped that wound right back open #which . felt so weird because she WANTED me to come #she made all the plans #honestly the train trip there was nice #i got to experience a lot of cool things #but the second i got there. it was . one of the worst times of my life #just nonstop #and now ive finally been away for awhile again #but i still miss her #& i dont know why #but it also doesnt help the only gf i have ever had did the same type of thing LMAO//.... i .. i just cannot win #maybe it's just my roll #say all these nice things n then immediately flip #she would make me hang out w her friends n talk me up n then. cheat on me with them with me there #& then get upset when i cried or tried to break up w her LMAO... #like. she wasnt poly or anything she was actually against it #but the worst part is how openly & loudly she'd love me right before it. so now i never know who is telling the truth. i never feel safe #but anyway. again. i stayed #over n over again id try to break up w her but then i loved her & so when she got upset n threaten to kms id flip n stay #n she'd do it again #until eventually she broke up w me n left me so fuckd up im not gonna lie JHVAJH #she still tried to stay friends after that n i tried #but then i started sobbing mid card game & it was very embarrassing top 10 worst things i have done #but i just. all i want is to be a good person. i want to be someone good & loving but i feel like im such a jealous monster #even if i dont let myself show it n try to ignore it bc i dont want to hurt anyone or be this awful it;s still here. just. permeating. #what if i feel too much what if ill never know when someone is genuine what if im just an evil obsessive freak n everyone i love hates me

[sonknuxadow]

will always be wild to me how proship/anti anti/whatever types are always going "oh im just anti harassment :) i dont think people should be harassed over fictional characters thats all :)" but then the second they see someone say something they dont like they suddenly have no problem with harassing people over fictional characters

#and then theyll call the person theyre harassing chronically online. #like idk youre the one screaming and crying and shitting your pants because you saw a stranger say they dont like your favorite ship #or something #like youre not anti harassment. youre anti people criticizing you for anything and pro harassing anyone you dont like #sorry i dont wanna get into discourse right now but ive been seeing a lot of this kind of behavior recently #as in. proshippers and similar people sending hate to anyone who disagrees with them #and its getting on my nerves #like if youre sooo anti harassment and letting people ship what they want and ignoring posts you dont like #why cant you just keep scrolling. thats what you tell anyone who doesnt like you to do. #anyway i think the person who was sending me a bunch of anon hate a couple weeks ago is back but bothering somebody else now #reason i think its the same guy is because some of their posts were like. almost word for word repeats of the asks i got #making the same arguments getting mad over the same things using the same insults #and they were spending hours bothering the same person. which they did with me. #if this really is the same person. GET A LIFE !!! my god #at least this time theyre doing it publicly instead of hiding behind the anon button so people can block/report them. get fucked

[valpuduzz]

god im supposed to be working on a project but i think this is a venty kind of night. i dont feel good at all. im sorry (anything suicidal that im mentioning isnt meant to be taken seriously btw, im just going through it)

#the meowing of a cat 🐱 #vent #i dont think i want to go to DC anymore for the con. but i also dont want to go to mexico. and i rlly dont want a job #i dont want to hang out with anyone i dont want to see anyone i want to be left alone. i want to rot in my room #i just wanna shrivel up and die and i want to kill myself #i really really want to kill myself #i really really really want to kill myself #it's really hard to cry. i feel empty and on edge and like ive been put into this earth to suffer and yet i cant cry #and oh yeah here we go. crush problems once again. im sorry my dear mutuals #i love him so much i love him i love him but. i have no right to love him. i wish my feelings never latched on to him like this #i barely talk to him except when we voice call in the server im in. i dont have the right to love him like this #i kinda just wish he could straight up just tell me he hates me so i could finally have peace of mind. #i wish i knew how to talk to him. i wish i wish i wish. but i cant. because my desperation is so obvious and i'll come off as a creep #the last thing i want to do is make him uncomfortable #i think what hurts the most is that no matter how many times i tell him he's my friend and that i love him he wont know #the extent of my feelings for him. im jealous of his close friends because i know i'll never be close or special to him #because i dont know how #i already told him how i felt a while ago in march. and you cant confess to someone again #one time is okay. two times is being much too forceful and desperate #ive been trying so so so so fucking hard to get over these feelings. he's just a fucking crush ive only know for like three months #and yet it fucking hurts so fucking bad i fucking hate it i hate that my brain has put aside the friends who actually care about me #for a crush who even though is a dear friend of mine isnt as close to me as the other people in my life #genuinely think i should kill myself for this and im not lying #i hate this so much i hate that ive been abandoning my friends for him. but i love him so much i love him so fucking much #and i cant just randomly say that out of nowhere because he's gonna know im still in love with him and he'll hate me for forcing him #my biggest fear is he forces himself to like me back. i'd never forgive myself #im so sorry to my friends but this crush shit has taken over my mind and it's not good and it's toxic and i hate it #i wish i had an excuse to leave his life but that would mean he'd think he did nothing wrong when he did nothing to me #the only person to blame in this situation is me myself and i #fuck i reached tag limit OOPS

[our-lady-of-mcr]

.

#also god bless my friend who pointed out that im moving up and im going to be in a salon soon and will actually be doing something good with #my life vs the friend who did me this way pretending shes still in high school that freaks out and loses all her friends every 6 months #i wish it didnt bother me. and i know in 2 months im going to have brushed it off and move on like i always do when bad shit happens #but for the wound being fresh this shit just fucking sucks i hate it i hate it i hate it #i made a very very very vague post on reddit just asking for advice #and the more popular reply was someone more on my side who basically said i should tell her to go fuck herself pretty much #and the second one was someone who v obviously did not actually read the post who said it was all fluff and basically defended her even #when in my post i am saying i defended myself while still listening to the shit she says #and i fucking hate reddit bc people are so.....quick to be hateful and judge #and i knew to expect people being hateful but god DAMN like you yourself are basically saying theres not enough info (yes there was) and you #still are quicker to assume im in the wrong #meanwhile everyone who knows her is like bitch we told you to not forgive her last time and now look where you are #and i am not a perfect person i have flaws the same way everyone else does. literally everyone has said and done shit they regret #and i have fucked her over before because she lost her fucking mind on a campus manager and an educator and she told me to find my own ride #home because i didnt defend her losing her shit and screaming at everyone and ended up having to write an incident report (so did the other #girls who watched it happen so nOT just me) anyways now she uses that as an excuse for treating me like fucking trash because she finally #found out about the god damn incident report which made it so now anyone can say i said anything and she just believes it #its such a fucking joke to me because like ????? girl if we were in opposite positions you would have filled out the fuckin report too #granted it was a handwritten letter and not a report but it was basically the exact same thing as an incident report #my bad that a year ago i wrote a letter saying i was scared you know where i live and that youre mentally unstable. funny how a year later i #feel the same way all over again! except i dont because im not scared of her anymore shes a fucking theater kid who needs to get a grip #i cant wait to look at my self tag again in 2 years and be like DAMN REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED #every single person who knows her that isnt friends with her (i am basically refusing to text her friends bc i dont even want to know) #keeps telling me i didnt do anything wrong and ive given her too many chances and she fucks me each time #i just wish she would go get help bro there is something so wrong with her #self

[urostakako]

.

#i really cant do this anymore i dont know what to do #i just want someone to listen to me i want someone to understand but i cant make anyone listen to me or understand #im a selfish person but everything ive done is for them. i did everything to go against my nature i did everything to not want anything #i dont care about anyone or anything i dont even care about myself. everything for them. and its not enough #ive been good i think. i havent been selfish. all i wanted was for them to be happy and have a good life and maybe if im lucky mine #will get cut short so i dont have to drag myself through all of this but its not enough apparently to do everything i can for them #its not enough to get the best grades and never go out and never talk about my problems and never ask for anything #i have to want something for my future too? how is that fair. everything for you and you say it was all worthless and wasteful #and everything i did is for fucking nothing and im stupid and telling me shit i already know #you dont have to tell me my hobbies and my likes are for nothing i already know. i asked you for your opinion because everything is for you #my life is for you and i asked you if my choices were okay because your opinion matters over everything #didnt you think there was a reason why i always ask you what you want and what you like? but i was being selfish? #theres no point trying to make you understand you just never will. theres no point talking to you #i can put myself in a position where im begging for help from you and you wont understand. you wont listen to me. you never have #youve never understood me when it mattered. you only ever loved me in the ways you know how and i never complained #i already gave my future to taking care of you because theres nothing else i can do. but somehow i make u feel bad for it. im being selfish #so i dont understand what you want me to do. ive always done everything you said. you tell me to shut up and i do. you tell me not to go out #and i dont. you want me to smile and do all these things i dont give a shit about and i do #and then you want me not to do any of these things? think about myself? make up your mind already #im so tired trying and trying to be a person you wont be disappointed by and i keep failing. nothing i do is good #and i cant talk to you about it or my brother or my cousins because they dont understand it. they never listen when it matters #fucking whatever #vent post #delete later #aricouldyounot

[fairuzfan]

why do so many liberal zionists add "non-palestinian" in front of "non-jewish" whenever they complain about antizionists and insist that all the palestinians are just offscreen agreeing with them about the real way to peace? do they not realize palestinians have social media accounts or are they just banking on everyone else also isolating themselves in a zionist echo chamber with no actual palestinians to contradict them? bc theyre not convincing anyone who knows that every single palestinian on here and online in general fucking hates them. like i know it's a rhetorical darvo to paint antizionism as a privileged western gentile position of ppl that can't possibly understand the complex issue who just want to hate Bad Jews but its so insane to see them rbing literal palestinians to call them raging antisemites and then the next post is about how every palestinian actually supports a two state solution and condemns hamas and this is spearheaded by "western tankie gentiles"

i havent been like interacting with zionists or looking at their blogs these past couple months because i can't take that much anger in my life anymore and ive come to the point where it doesn't matter what they say they're seriously intellectually dishonest and useless. the people who listen to them and agree with them have a vested interest in keeping the state of israel functioning and if they wanna pretend its for "peace" go right ahead but dont pretend like youre the authority on these things lol. in general ive only taken to reblogging zionist additions to my posts to let people know to block.

it might be the latest zionist strategy of saying "non palestinians and nonjews" to reinforce the idea that its an "internal" issue (which its not to be clear) and they proceed to ignore the fact that palestinians are begging people to get involved to help them. but whatever! the people who are convinced by them at this point are people who genuinely dont care about palestinians at all and i am not willing to argue with them on this.

i will say, zionists on here have become more brazenly pro-fascist! either in interacting with fascists or letting fascist speak in their spaces or even just defending them under the guise of "defending jews" (think of the bingo blocklist. they're still at it btw, the bingo board, but like i have yet to see a single person on the zionist side of tumblr at all admonish the idea of the bingo at all which is telling in itself.) anyways these people are disgusting and selfish and like i say, i abhor selfishness more than anything.

[sukiipjs]

✮ BLONDIE : PT 1

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

↳ nick sturniolo x masc reader

↳ words - 2239

↳ summary - you’ve been having a hard time realizing and accepting the fact that you’re gay, and in love with your best friend. you try to ignore the feelings but that only makes everything worse until you can’t hide it anymore.

↳ contains - swearing, angst, use of y/n, internalized homophobia, depression, crying, idk??? [READ PT 2 - PT 3]

↳ song - blondie by current joys

°:. *₊ ° . ☆ °:. *₊ ° . ° .•

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

nick has been my best friend for years, he’s always been there for me, and me there for him. we met in the first grade when he saw me alone at recess on the swings and he ran up to me, asking if i wanted to play with him and his brothers. one of the many things i love about him, hes always there, always there to help, or just be with. from that day on he’s always been my number one but honestly, i’ve been kind of avoiding him lately.

of course i don’t want to, i really really don’t want to, trust me, but i don’t want to make anything bad between us either. even though pushing him away is probably fucking things up anyway.

the thing is, for months, maybe even years now i think that i might be coming to a realization: i think i’m gay, or not gay but bi? i hate labels, i dont want to be put into a box, its honestly just hard to fit into one too. i mean i’ve had girlfriends before and i’ve liked that, but nick…

okay i might be coming to another realization: i think i’m in love with nick. and to make everything worse, i can’t even talk to anyone about this because the only person i would tell is nick, but if i told him, well i just cant, it could destroy our friendship. he’d hate me, i cant lose him.

but maybe i’m not in love with him, i mean i love nick, i always have but maybe its not love love? maybe its just me appreciating our friendship more. okay who am i kidding it’s definitely becoming more, I LOVE HIM. he’s just perfect, in general, to me, to everyone. i want to spend every moment of my life with him, i want to hug him and never let him go, i want to be with him, i just want to see him again.

i can’t even imagine what he’d say if he knew i liked him. he’d probably be disgusted, i’d ruin our friendship forever. i cant do that, i can’t risk anything like that, i need him even if that means the best thing i can do is just stay away, make up lies of why i cant hang out, slowly stop texting him, i mean maybe it's not the best thing but its either i do this and try and force these feelings down or i tell him and ruin everything. this is better, or at least that’s what i keep telling myself.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

nick 🫶

| wanna hang out today? haven’t seen you in forever, i’m boredddd

| i know i’m sorry, but i cant today, really really sorry. still not feeling good

| that’s okay, hope you feel better though 💕 if you need anything tell me okay?

| i’d rather hang out with you and get sick then spend one more second with my idiot brothers over here 💀

i stare at the message on my screen, i’m not sick, i’m just trying to be a good friend… by avoiding my best friend… sure, whatever.

i slam down my phone on my mattress, rolling over and burying my face in my pillow. muffled screams from my mouth as tears, start to pour from my eyes. every time i message him, saying i cant hang out i immediately regret it. i want to see him, i always do but again, i cant, i fucking cant. it would only make my feelings stronger and i just need to get rid of them as soon as i can so things can just go back to how they were.

fuck, here comes the spiral that ive been replaying in my head forever. do i even really like him? am i really bi, gay, straight, whatever the fuck? i don’t even know, it’s all too confusing and stressful right now. why can’t i just be me? and have my best friend with me again? actually hang out with him, see him?

all i can really do right now is continue screaming and crying into my pillow about how much of a shitty friend i’m being, great. I constantly stalk his instagram, trying to see if i do really like him and try to see what he’s up to without me, i miss him so much.

…i wish he was a girl then i would be straight and all this shit wouldn’t hurt so much. i’m not trying to say that being gay is bad, all i’m saying is that it would be easier to figure all this out if i was straight and he was a girl. i know that’s so messed up to say but i don’t know how else to put it.

if he was a girl, i’d know that i’m in love with him, i wouldn’t be so afraid to accept myself because there wouldn’t be anything to accept. i’d just be me and he’d she’d be him her, i’d get to be his her boyfriend and we’d be a happy couple. i’d be happy and i wouldn’t have to push the person i love most in this stupid world away…

i smash my face into my silky white pillowcase over and over, shaking my head as i force the sides of the pillow into my face more. i want to suffocate.

i scream into my pillow more and more. ‘i love you nick, i love you nick, i love you. i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you nick, i DONT love you… but i do, i really really do, but i cant… i really really fucking cant.’

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

i stay rotting in my bed, spiraling about random shit, taking random quizzes of ‘am i gay?’ or ‘am i in love with my bestfriend?’ or ‘is it a crush?’ like i know.

soft blankets cover me, my silky pillows supporting my back as i rewatch rupaul's drag race on my computer until i finish it again, oreos and empty dr pepper cans surround me. and of course, nick always in my mind, everything reminding me of him, those stupid quizzes, his favorite show, his favorite drink. i wish he could be here, like how we used to hang out before i started ruining everything but i could be ruining it more, at least im keeping my mouth shut.

every once and a while, a message from nick pops up. him sending me a tiktok or telling me about how spacecamp is going or just something random, asking how im doing, if im still sick. most times i try to ignore him, turning off the notifications but i answer sometimes, only one or two words, maybe just an emoji, just trying to say something. i don’t want him to think i hate him or anything, i still of course love him.

the only time i ever get up from my bed is to go the the bathroom or get more food, ive been wearing the same two sweatpants alternating them and random shirts that i throw on the floor after i wear them for enough. my hair shaggy and a scratchy stubble on my face. i look and feel gross. i didnt think that forcing my best friend away and trying to figure out my sexuality could make me this depressed, who knew.

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

weeks pass of me ignoring (or at least trying to ignore) nick and weeks of screaming into my sheets and sleeping all day become more and more. i finally decide to leave my apartment and stock up on some random things that will help me rot in my room even more: coffee, chips, oreos, whatever else i might want.

as i scan the aisle for dr pepper, standing in my gray hoodie with the hood covering me and one of the two sweatpants i’ve been wearing on, i hear a voice at the end of the row calling to me, “y/n?” my head turns to see who knows me that’s here, about to see how disgusting i look and just my luck, it’s nick.

“nick” a bright smile floods my face, i haven’t seen him for what seems like forever, i look at his blonde hair with grown out brunette roots, plus that signature nose ring and star earrings, of course he looks great.

he runs up to me, giving me a warm hug as he smiles too, “oh my god i haven’t seen you in decadessss” he exaggerates, laughing at me, “you feeling better now?” i tilt my head a little, confused but then i remember my lie. “oh yeah, i am. even though i dont look it” i try to scoff a laugh, looking down at myself, excusing how ‘i dont care’ i look right now.

“you look fine.” he laughs back again, “you know… me, chris and matt were gonna go out for dinner soon, wanna come?” i can tell he really wants me to be there and i really want to but i try to push it away, still.

“uhhh, i think had something later, sorry” my small smile slowly fading as his does too, i don’t think i’ve seen his smile leave that fast. “really? we haven’t talked in weeks, i miss you” he jokes a little, but really we do miss each other.

“i know, i’m sorry, but i promise we’ll hang out soon yeah?” i try to fake a small smile, trying to make this a little better but nick still looks sad, “yeah okay, see you later then?” he looks like he hates me, he looks just annoyed, hurt. i feel terrible.

“yeah, later” i’m about to walk closer to give him another hug but he leaves, to i assume go find his brothers, before i can. i’m terrible.

i finish up grabbing my things before leaving and driving off, replaying our interaction in my head. i could’ve just went? it was one dinner, that’s all. not a big deal. but it’s too late, it would just be weird if my schedule suddenly cleared up now.

°:. *₊ ° . ☆

i make my way back to my apartment, putting my bags down on the counter before going straight to my room again, flopping down on top of the pile of blankets and stuffed animals that cover my bed.

i dig in my pocket for my phone, taking it out as i grab a blanket to pull it over my face, closing off the sun that shines through my window.

i go straight to me and nicks messages, thinking of texting him. ‘i’m sorry’ too short, plain. ‘sorry, i was wrong i can go’ feels like i’m pitying him, plus just dumb. ‘i love you’ yeah definitely not. ‘come over? sorry’ again, stupid and he can NOT see the mess i have over here.

i decide on nothing and put my phone to the side of me, burying my head into my pillows again, tears flooding my eyes again again again. it’s too much. this is all stupid and i need to get over it all. this is terrible.

i go back to my cycle of curling up in warm blankets, eating my now new oreos and dr pepper and rewatching shows i’ve seen a million times before. and obviously stalking nicks instagram, he posted a story of him and his brothers at dinner. he’s still wearing those earrings and that same beige jacket he was wearing before, and he still looks great.

i swipe up, about to message him. ‘you look great, sorry i couldn’t come’ i quickly delete it and just like the story. i need to stop trying to message him when i’m trying to ignore him.

₊ ° .☆ °:. *₊

after falling asleep shortly after i finished looking at nicks story i wake up to like five texts from who? nick, of course.

nick 🫶

| are you ignoring me?

| like did i do something or what?

| are you okay?

| can we just talk or hang out please?

| y/n?

| okay sorry actually, never mind

my heart drops, i feel so TERRIBLE. nick did nothing and i never want him to think that he did something wrong. he’s perfect.

i pick up my phone to respond but honesty i don’t know if i should… i want him to know that he did nothing but he’s right about me ignoring him… fuck this. i just ignore him, still.

i shut off my phone fast and roll to my other side, curling up my legs and staring at the small textured bumps on the off-white wall that i face. i take in every detail, trying to distract myself with something else. i spot all the tiny discolorations or stains on the wall, the way it all starts to blur when tears, again, rain out my eyes.

they drip on the curves of my cheeks and lips, my hands are tucked under my legs as he tears drop onto my sheets, i don’t bother wiping them off. they make a small circle ish shape when it hits on my bed with a darker gray on my gray sheets.

my spiraling hits again when the ridges on my wall go dark as my eyes close. why can’t my best friend just be my best friend? why can’t i just be a normal person? why can’t i just forget it all? why can’t this all just go away? why? why? why? why?

☆ °:. *₊ ° . °

taglist : @slutforchriss @mattsleftnipple03 @mattsdinosweater @ccolleenn @mixvchelle @leah-loves-lilies @sturn-wrld @redz0nez9 @cheriematt @freshloveforthefit @nickuniversity @whore4matt @txssvx @will-yummy

#chris sturniolo #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo #nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo smut #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo smut #nicolas sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo smut #nick sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets x reader #sturniolo #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆ #sukiipjs #𝐬𝐮𝐤𝐢𝐢𝐩𝐣𝐬 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬 𝜗𝜚⋆

[dear-ao3]

(to saph) dude i think you need to think about why you’re so offended by someone making a lighthearted joke as queer internet people often do about your sexuality? yeah it was parasocial but that’s like What People Are Like and you truly could’ve just been like ‘lmao i’m straight saph is just my name’. referring to urself as sapphic online and having nicknames based off it as a wlw person is extremely common - anon was jumping to a conclusion, sure, but not being actively malicious it was just a joke a queer person thought they were making to another queer person. and then to respond to that with ‘i literally have a whole ass boyfriend’ like sapphic people…. can’t be attracted to men? like okay? that’s not… relevant? having a boyfriend ≠ being straight and this is weird behaviour coming from a straight person. i’m truly not trying to be rude or aggressive i’m a fan of your blog i just think that if you’re straight interacting with the lgbt community you need to think about what you’re saying and if you’re reiterating harmful stereotypes

hello anon.

if you have followed me for quite some time you would know that this is not the first time people on the internet have done things like this. i have explained myself a great many times as to why i dont like it, but i dont know where the original post is so ill do it again.

its weird? as i said, real people run this blog, dont make hcs about me. (this is not the only one ive gotten either, people are insistent that my boyfriend is a bi icon (hes also straight) and that katya and i were dating (we have never) etc etc)

this is tumblr, if people want you to know their sexuality its in their bio.

i was bullied by someone from 6th-12th grade about how i was "definitely gay" and "didn't like men" and "couldn't be straight" and "no saph you're definitely at least bi" and "why are you talking about being attracted to men, you dont like them" when i was too young to and didnt have the means to explore my own sexuality just because they thought being straight was a cardinal sin. what people can mean as a lighthearted joke is ultimately not funny, especially when people tell you to stop or that it is not funny.

i have never once posted anything about my sexuality being anything other than straight (and even then ive hardly said that). so i dont know why its okay to come into my inbox and make said jokes (if i had posted that i was not straight then it would be a different story)

i am not a homophobic person. i do not give a flying fuck what anyones sexuality is. that does not affect me or my personal life. what does affect my personal life is when people try to force labels upon me that i have said a great many times do not fit me or my life

#not a tag #from saph

[h4venpha]

↳ 𝐁𝐋𝐋𝐊 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒' 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐒:

with… nagi seishirou, kunigami rensuke, reo mikage, chigiri hyoma

idk abt part two yet ^^

NAGI SEISHIROU: quality time

- nagi isnt much of a talker, so no words of affection. hes lazy, so not acts of service. quality time just fits so well because ?? its effortless, anything else is just a hassle for him (/hj)

- he enjoys lazy days where he can just sit around with you, watch tv or just stay in bed all day long. its simple and he enjoys your company

- a comfortable silence is often created during these lazy days. he’s on his phone laying in your lap while youre on yours or youre watching the television or something. theres no need for interactions or talking in general

- (i wanna mention the nagi episode manga chapter where nagi’s eyes literally start glowing when reo tells him he likes being around him) nagi honestly thinks he’s boring, like he will literally admit it. he thinks hes a boring person and he doesnt think anyone really wants to be around him

- so when you ask him to just lay around all day with you hes like, “…really? is it okay?”

- and so many days end up as lazy days. quiet, relaxed days where neither of you have to talk much, its just being around each other, enjoying and accepting each others company

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (pre-wildcard): acts of service

- regardless of how strong or tall you are, kunigami willing to do anything for you just because he can

- “oh you cant reach this? i got it for you, here!” or “you need to move this? let me help, y/n!”

- not only is it because hes more than capable of helping out, but because he thinks its considerate and attentive.

- he’s all sweet smiles whenever you ask for help, especially when you can’t reach something. 6 foot and two fucking inches and he practically towers over you (at least he does for me), and so whenever you have to stand on your tip toes to reach for something, he always notices. He walks up behind you with a small smile as he watches you struggle.

- and you dont even notice until his deep voice booms from behind you, it almost surprises you. and he’s reaching up, arm extending over your fucking head, to grab what you need. when he hands it to you, there’s a sweet, almost amused look on his face. of course he can’t help but tease a little bit. but before he walks away, he leans down, eye to eye with you, and pats your head as a you’re welcome

REO MIKAGE: gift giving, words of affection

- ive spoken briefly about my headcanon of giving gifts to words of affection reo

- i feel like his entire life growing up, he was bought things as a form of “love”, so really thats all he knew

- you have to sit down with him and tell him that although you appreciate it, he doesnt have to buy you the world.

- you simply teach him that theres so much more to showing love than buying things

- reo ends up learning from what you taught him. BUT not only does he continue to give you gifts, he includes small love letters along with them.

- a bouquet of fresh, colorful roses with a small white envelope tucked into the flowers with a little message.

- messages like: for my precious! <3 if you were a flower i’d pick you!

CHIGIRI HYOMA: acts of service, physical touch

- pushing the male wife chigiri agenda AGAIN !! (dedicated to puriiii <3)

- now normally, chigiri could give less of a fuck about what other people need/want. hes the type of guy who walks past someone who dropped something bc literally hes like “uh. whatever…” like they can pick it back up themself, he quite literally just does not give a shit

- but the moment you need something, he is ON IT. it doesnt matter how big or small, whether you need a tissue or you’d like some water, hes literally rushing to get it

- immediately stopping whatever he was doing to jump up and get what you need

- speedy little man has it for you in 0.5 seconds

- its nothing too complicated, just “oh my lover needs something, so i’ll get it right away”

- now physical touch. i dont mean like, absolutely smothering you all the time like nagi’s headcanons. i mean like, touches that leave you with shivers

- he’s trying to get around you for something or he’s passing by and his slender fingers end up ghosting lightly at your waist or hips (bonus points if you have some kind of cropped shirt on…he knows exactly what he’s doing when he intentionally slips his cold fingers against your warm skin)

#h4venpha #blue lock #bllk fluff #bluelock fluff #nagi seishiro #nagi fluff #nagi x y/n #nagi x you #nagi x reader #nagi headcanons #blue lock nagi #chigiri hyoma #chigiri headcanons #chigiri x reader #chigiri x you #chigiri x y/n #chigiri fluff #chigiri scenarios #reo mikage #mikage reo #reo x you #reo x y/n #reo x reader #reo fluff #reo headcanons #blue lock reo #kunigami rensuke #kunigami x you #kunigami fluff #kunigami x reader

[the-yippeee-farm]

this hasn’t been proof read or anything at all i just wanted to go on a vent about wilbur because hes made me so fucking angry and disgusted

i dont want to talk about it, (i proceeded to go on a rant sorry) but to say at the least im so disgusted and disappointed by this and feel so utterly angry upset and betrayed

honestly i REALLY used to look up to wilbur and it hurts me to say it now. he inspired so much from me, i started learning guitar to be like him and learn lovejoy songs, i spent HOURS APON HOURS watching his vods and videos and streaming his music, i made fanart of him, i watched edits and read fanfics (by my mutuals) of him, his fandom supplied me so much JOY and COMFORT, i gained so many true and real friends through his community, he helped me so so much, he made me happy, he gave me comfort, he was my safe space, and the fact after all this he hurt someone, he ABUSED someone hurts ME too.

and to SHELBY, SHUBBLE!! of ALL people (nobody deserves abuse but im just saying that) shelby is SO lovely and SO sweet and kind to everyone, i grew up watching ldshadowlady, smallishbeans, shubble, grian, geminitay, mumbo jumbo and other minecraft youtubers of that sort, i grew up watching shubble

and the fact wilbur, the person who encouraged me and helped me get through so much, HURT, PHYSICALLY HURT, this girl i held close to my heart as a GOOD part of my childhood makes me genuinely want to sob.

a person who (prior to my knowledge of the abuse) gave me comfort and friends and laughter and intrests, hurt someone who built who i am today, hurt someone who was a major part of my childhood, hurt someone who didn’t fucking deserve to get hurt

and not to mention his mother fucking ‘apology’ that was NOT an apology, “ohhhh ive changed ive had therapyyyy wooahhh” and “im genuinely sorry that i hurt you shelby i should never have been such a disgusting piece of scum, i dont expect you or anyone to accept this apology but i truely am sorry (+ more real apologies)” are VERY different

and the fact he’s saying HE had therapy, like good for you whore. good for you. guess what?!?! shubble went to therapy too xx you know why?? because of the pain YOU caused her because of the physical and mental pain you left her with. even if you have changed, which you clearly havent as i can tell from your apology, DOES NOT mean she isnt and wasnt hurt

and all the people defending him, “oh innocent until proven guilty right??” “is there any hard evidence? how do we know its true” “he apologised, everyone makes mistakes” no. NO. that is NOT how it works, this is domestic abuse, and in aimsey’s words this isnt some fucking twitter drama that will blow over in a few days, this is real life, this is real people

content creators are NOT just entertainment for you to enjoy as if your watching some dumb anime, content creators are REAL people who make REAL mistakes (as does everyone, although some peoples mistakes are worse than others *cough cough wilbur cough cough*) and their CRIMES should be accounted for as such, cc’s will put on a mask, cc’s will give you a fake persona, because its ENTERTAINMENT!! the things you see are just entertainment, and just because thats all you get to see doesnt mean thats who they are behind the screen, or off camera

speaking of how cc’s are real people im just gonna quickly mention how they are not just characters you can ‘ship’ for some twisted idea of fun, and i know nobodys gonna read this but its fucking pissing me off, unless these creators have been confirmed dating and they confirmed they are ok with you ‘shipping’ them, DONT DO IT!! even if the cc’s say its okay, eg. dnf (i hate both of those creators but its an example), just because they are comfortable doesnt mean its normal or okay.

also just thinking back to wilburs content with the mindset of ‘fuck he actually abused someone’, he was manipulative and fucked up since the start, its like he wants to be the main character, its like he doesn’t want to consider someone elses feelings unless its on camera and will bring him more fame, i hate that. i hate that so so much.

wilbur has hurt to many people as it turns out, we were just too blinded and naive to see it, to notice it, and that makes me sick

wilbur was such a big inspiration to me as ive mentioned multiple times already, he was such a big inspiration so many of my (online) friends too, he stopped so many people from doing harm to themself, all the while harming someone i used to hold close to my heart (shelby <3)

also the part with how there was a safe word, that HE made, yet wilbur thought it was okay to blatantly just FUCKING IGNORE?? he hurt her MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY!! ignored the safeword and bit down harder MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY!!

he showed her bruises, proudly to their friends, he bit her, proudly in front of their friends, he joked about how it ALMSOT seemed like he abused her!! proudly. in front. of both of their friends.

not to mention the financial abuse was appalling, making her pay for almost all the food, pay for all the cleaning products, pay for all the flight tickets (and refuse to fly to visit her), pay for pretty much everything. she was loosing money, she talked to him about that, she was loosing so much money, he ignored that

and speaking of cleaning products, apparently he told a friend behind shubbles back that he NEVER cleaned when shelby wasnt there, he just waited for shelby to fly over to the uk for visits to clean his home, EVEN WHEN THERE WAS MOLD GROWING he didnt clean it, he waited long enough that SHUBBLE had to fix it SHUBBLE had to clean it

and the fact shelby didnt even tell us HALF what was going on is INSANE!! from what i know already (a limited amount) this is already appalling, im considering leaving the fandom all together and i think i just might (other than aimsey and guqqie) because i cant deal this this, i regret ever supporting him, ever watch his content

wilbur has given everyone so much bullshit for ages we were just to brainwashed by ourselves and our little hyper fixations to realise what a dickhead he is

#wilbur soot #wilbursoot #mcyt #wilbur mcyt #wilbur #shubble #shelby #shelby grace #shubble shelby #shelby shubble

[scarletspider-lily]

this bullshit discourse around cishet aromantic men is driving me insane and im not aromantic or aspect in the slightest but i gotta rant. because it's just getting very ridiculous at this point, because people make assumptions about everyone and also want to twist the definition of being queer- for some reason?? 1) "well- well they dont get oppressed!! >:(" sorry, pause, why the FUCK are we making "oppression" a part being lgbtq+ ? is this some new fucking requirement?? are you people okay?? i dont give a fuck if some queer child has had the best life ever in a super inclusive area from the second they were born, i would be happy for them?? maybe you should too? listen, ive faced oppression for being bisexual, and have felt envious of those with accepting family and whatnot, but what im not going to do is discredit my fellow queer person for facing "less" or no oppression at all for their identity. crazy take, but i think the goal should be to reduce queer oppression...

and oppression is not... some fixed scale type of thing, someone was trying to say that being asked "when will you get married?" to aro people wasn't oppression. as if that is not the only thing aro people face, as if instituitions like marriage dont exist, with certain economic benefits aro people can't partake in, and social constructs making certain people seem "weird" and straight up ostracized from social groups if they choose not to partake in romance.

2) amatonormativity is a thing, look it up. i get that it may be frustrating if you are allo to accept that youve been taught a lot of stuff about romance that seems magical and all encompassing and you dont want to give it up, but no one is asking you to do that. i used to be taken aback at some things aro folks pointed out, but as ive read more, ive realized that romance is wonderful to some people but shouldnt be held up as the ultimate pedestal in society. so, romanticize romance and whatnot if you personally want to, but understand that certain social constructs may harm people, especially those who do not want relationships for whatever reason. plus, learning about amatonormativity has helped me positively go about my own relationships- platonic and otherwise! 3) im gonna piss people off with this one, but please stop with the bullshitty radfem takes about cishet men being the ultimate spawn of satan, or something. the jokes here and there were one thing, but some of you guys actually believing that most of what cishet men do is inherently evil is legitimately concerning and this doesnt do much to actually help any matters. no, the man choosing to have another hookup this week or continuing to fuck a female friend-with-benefits isnt the ultimate enemy here against women. most takes on "hookup culture" generalize a lot of people's experiences, and i know there is research backing multiple perspectives on this, but at the end of the day what needs to be realized is that you cannot stop two consenting people from doing things together. it has no impact on you, and does not have a grand impact on society. unless you have definitive proof that whatever evil man you're talking about is "using women", there's no point to what you are saying, and if there is such a man, cishet aro men still are legitimate in their identity. would you exclude gay people from the community because of gay people who do bad things? would you do that for most identities? no? what makes this so drastically different, then? dont pull the oppression argument again for the love of god anyways, i hope all the cishet aro men and aro people in general are having a nice day. you will always be a part of the lgbtq+ community. dont let anyone tell you otherwise, or discredit you for the amount of "oppression" you face, as im sure they dont know half of any struggles you have. and if you (or any queer person in general) do happen to have few struggles, im very happy for you, as that's how it should be!!

#rant #i genuinely cannot stand this discourse anymore #discourse critique #queer #aro #aromantic #arophobia #tw arophobia #scarletspider-lily #long post #btw im not aro so if i got smth wrong lmk but ya!

[hella1975]

would LOVE to know full details to the culture difference bestie when you've got the time because I'm kinda just a sucker for that. also. were we too nice for you tell me more about that

here we gooooo here's a rundown of the top things that were really jarring to me as a brit in america!

kinda dumb that i feel the need to say this but ive been burned before: americans, if you're going to send me shit about this list, please first reread what you've typed and ask yourself 'am i addressing this person as an actual real life adult that not only has experienced both countries she speaks about but also has perfectly functioning social skills that allow her to navigate what is and isn't a culture difference, or am i talking to her like a condescending little prick?' this includes messages like 'americans aren't actually ___, we're just ___ which clearly went over your head as a silly foreigner :)' do u understand how condescending messages like that are as the person who was there? this list is me saying what was strange to me AS A BRIT IN AMERICA. it is a comparison, not an objective statement of something ive decided is a fact about your culture. im not writing this so people can try and like. educate me on all the things i missed because america was just soooo complex. okay? stunning

you guys were SO nice like i think the best way i can contextualise this for an american is that the first time i felt actually comfortable (not that i was uncomfortable otherwise but i mean in a social sense) was when we were in new york city. no one looked at me no one wanted to talk to me people were shouting and being rude to each other it was just like home <3 the way americans are friendly is just so intense and it took me a good while to stop being so bowled over by it. like if you met someone one time they'd try and hug you and i found that very very strange

americans generally talk about their feelings a lot more and i dont even mean just from the people i interacted with bc that very well might have been because i just got on well with them so we were talking honestly, but even on commercials and things you guys talk about mental illnesses and such like it's a grocery shop whereas in england there's still very much a stiff upper lip culture about that kind of thing

you guys do speak louder. like objectively even 'quiet' americans were louder than most brits and would be glared at in public if we were in england just bc of the volume they were speaking at. you also inflect more. again i think this is another thing that boils down to americans being very bright and intense while the english are renowned for not wanting anyone to look at them ever. like a bug under a rock

FREE REFILLS!! i have not shut up about this but if you order a coffee somewhere then you have in fact ordered UNLIMITED COFFEE. the first time a waitress leaned over me to fill my coffee up i flinched away from her bc i was like what in god's name are you doing

if you try and make a hot drink in america then you are taking your life in your hands. you have to filter the water, find whatever apparatus this specific house uses to boil water, remind yourself that americans have a vendetta against milk so you have to use creamer which is 'exactly like milk' but 'you wouldnt drink it like milk' so what the fuck is going on there, and then by the time everything's done you want to go out back to curl up and die like an old dog. dont get me started on tea

one thing i thought was cute is that you guys say 'come get in the AC' the same way we would say 'come get out of the rain' like that's such a cute little human thing i think

AC itself is such a godsend but me not being used to it was kind of baffling to americans. boom's brother asked me what my ideal AC temp was at home and i just. looked at him bc i didnt even know where to start with that

it took me WEEKS to stop trying to get in the driver's side of the car

american ignorance is a very real very frustrating thing. 'whats that thing they do in europe-' idk bc ive never been to all of europe. 'when i went to europe-' where in europe. it is a continent. i got asked if we have fireworks in europe. bonfire night is older than the founding of america. there's just a genuine belief amongst americans that they're not even AWARE of (because it would be smart, nice americans that i genuinely liked saying these things) that america is the most elite country in the world and is the only place to have certain things

speaking of the european thing with americans, the fact that 'travelling to europe' is typically a bragging right over there and is seen as quite an upper class thing is very interesting. a lot of the times people would be bragging TO ME and it would go over my head bc id be like 'well anyone can go to spain'. i feel like shagaluf would give americans an aneurysm

the sheer size of america never truly registered with me until i was there like i cannot wrap my head around it. the uk can fit in lake michigan 4 times. you guys have cargo ships on lakes. the roads just go straight for miles and miles and miles. you have every environment and weather possible. literally obsessed

capitalism is actually way more intense in america. like yeah it makes sense america is thee capitalist country but i guess i thought because i was coming from a western capitalist country myself that it wouldnt change much. but like. billboards on roads. adverts while you pump gas. there is someone selling u something everywhere u look

tipping was so hard 😭 i knowwww it's necessary i understand the econ behind it all but i was so stressed all the time because of it 😭

YOUR STARBUCKS IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN OURS

i knew i was going to have to change the way i spoke in america bc of obvious things (my accent isnt The British Accent that americans recognise, i use a lot of slang etc) but it surprised me just how much i had to change. like by the end of it i wasnt using any slang and i was enunciating every letter because i was just so tired of saying something just for boom to have to literally translate bc like? it was no fault of theirs or mine or even the person i was talking to but it just made me feel Weird and Odd and most surprising of all was that it made me feel stupid? and i guess that's bc i get a lot of shit for my accent over here too so im oversensitive to it but ive never properly felt more like a foreigner in a different country than i did trying to talk to americans

sarcasm. im just. like the running joke is that americans dont get sarcasm and id have actually preferred that i think bc what instead happened is you guys have AMERICAN sarcasm and it just. made no fucking sense to me at all. i literally did not get american humour even slightly it was probably my biggest thing when i was over there like i literally felt like entire conversations were going over my head. british humour is very dry so not only did i not get american humour but sometimes MY humour would be misinterpreted as well and the entire thing was just very strange lol

RIGHT ON RED????? RED MEANS STOP???? WHAT ARE YOU DOING????

#sorry for the little disclaimer at the start of this list im rlly not trying to be rude #but if i had a quid for every time i pointed something out in america and someone would like. argue with me about it #id have enough to pay for america all over again #like id go 'americans are so friendly' and immediately 10 people would be like 'NO WE'RE ACTUALLY REALLY HORRIBLE CUNTS #EVERYONE IS JUST PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE WHICH AS SOMEONE WHO IS NOT ONLY AN ADULT WITH THE ABILITY TO READ SOCIAL CUES #BUT ALSO SOMEONE WHO LITERALLY WORKS CUSTOMER SERVICE THIS CLEARLY WENT OVER YOUR HEAD AND WE MUST EDUCATE YOU' #like. calm down.... maybe.... #when i say 'americans are so friendly' there's an unspoken 'compared to the uk' there. im COMPARING not STATING #like it is universally acknowledged that you guys are friendly? idk what the deal is idk why ur all so desperate to be seen as rude anyway #but that's just one example #anywayyyyyyy #ask #rwbt 2.0

[bunnywan]

what’s the a/b/o to misogyny pipeline???

(i want to start by saying i dont think all a/b/o is misogynistic. i don't think most of it is written with misogynistic intent, either.)

also: ive written an abo fic. right after i wrote though i started getting exposed to the misogyny thing by my obikin writer friends and (despite my fic being alpha/alpha and avoiding what i think the most glaring issues are), ive contemplated deleting it, but these same friends have talked me off it. im going to try to rewrite some parts in the future tho, since there are parts that i look back and wince at. but, im growing and learning everyday, like everyone else. well. maybe not everyone lol.

in omegaverse there is a submissive biological class. hopefully i dont have to explain to you that in omegaverse, omegas (the submissive biological class) are "woman coded" (for lack of a better way to put it ig), and alphas are "man coded." heres some of the most common omegan "traits" that are pretty much universally accepted: able to bear children, self lubricating hole, heat (time of the month, anyone?), emotional neediness, physical weakness (compared to alphas), desire to please alphas, instinct to obey alphas. heres some of the most common alpha "traits": ability to breed omegas, stronger than omegas, dominant personalities, instincts to protect omegas, sometimes uncontrollable sexual urges when exposed to an omega.

so we're already in misogynistic stereotype territory. dystopian, even. "wouldnt it be great if women omegas literally were wired to submit to men alphas!" its gender roles with biological backing.

a common trope in omegaverse fics is omegas "thinking" they "dont want it" (to be a stereotypical omega/listen to alphas/have sex with alphas), and then hey! in some cases, the right alpha comes along and the omega learns that they were wrong all along and submitting to being a baby making hole that likes to be ordered around is actually wonderful! (like when you tell someone you dont really want to have kids and they say "youll change your mind", because what else are you gonna do with your life? youre a baby making hole.) in other cases: an omega might not figure out their purpose until mid rape -- and their tiny omega brain and helpless body cannot resist giving in and enjoying their own sexual assault because that's what their body is for (getting fucked by an alpha).

you see how this is fucking weird? sit back and think about the term "bitching" for a minute and decide if you think thats patriarchal or not.

again, i don't think every a/b/o fic and author is misogynistic, but the world itself it built on misogyny so ... its hard to separate it completely. and its a very convenient avenue for projection by authors, whether it be intentional or not.

this was just what came out of my brain in one sitting, but i think its gets the baseline of the point across. feel free to message me or send another ask if you wanna talk about it more!

#tw rape mention #anon asks

[strawberrybabydog]

i hate having an eating disorder because its an evil disorder that truly makes everyone in your life hate you

progressives view you as a failure because you succumbed to beauty standards, so you're a bad person for implying you would look ugly if you were fat

conservatives view you as a failure because not eating is a moral failing, and you cant be part of the sisterhood if you're too skinny, because women percieve you as a threat

and thats it. thats all they see. all anyone can see from me is a self-hating fatphobe or a threat to women. nobody understands that i cant sit up in the morning without shaking because of malnutrition. nobody wants to listen when i tell them over and over my stomach has literally shrunk and i am physically incapable of eating big meals, which makes recovery impossible. nobody wants to hear that i'm eating meal replacements every single day just to stay alive. nobody wants to hear the discoveries ive made about how yes, beauty standards really are unachievable, and please nobody else try, because this is suffering. nobody wants to understand that i dont want to look or feel like this, that i didnt ask for this, that i did everything i could in all of my teen years to love myself so i wouldnt ever have to go through this. everyone stares at my body as if it's a political statement they're supposed to compare themselves too, when i never asked for this, so i cant even hang out with friends because i KNOW they'll take MY ED personally and direct their anger at me

every person who shamed my former fatness, who pushed me into making these decisions, hates me even more for being thin. every single person, no matter how "tolerant" they self-identify as, thinks shaming me for being thin, and implying this body is ugly and i was only truly beautiful before, is what will cure me. the same people who couldnt stop asking me "really? you're having MORE food?"

i guess the trick to having an eating disorder is to not have a body that other people can see in the first place

i dont even know why im talking about this here. as a last resort? ive had an ED for a year now and i havent got to talk about it even one fucking time because of this ^^^. and i expect the same response if any too LOL. i need fucking help or im going to die from malnnutrition but the only thing anyone cares about is whether or not i'd be sexy as fat (still prioritizing their own gaze.)

#its really fucked up too because i was like very sexy and hot as fat #i was also confident and generally felt good about myself #eating disorder #fatphobia #<- how tf do i tag this. sorry. jow do you tag eating disorders #not dog #personal #food #big feelings

[rosekasa]

🥑🐝

hi anon!!!!

writers' truth & dare asks

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

immediately my best friend @renwatchesanime ahdjsja. they would bring out their apple pen and notability and our criminal law textbook

i think id also text @jattendschaton for emotional support because i feel like bren is the person ive sent so many vns to like 'am i bad person for this?? i feel like a bad person' and bren is very good at either reassuring me im not a bad person or honestly saying 'what you did wasnt ideal but i love you and understand you and you'll be fine'

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

BUTTTTT I HAVE SO MANY 🥺🥺🥺 IM BLESSED WITH SO MANY PEOPLE ANON!!!

@mozzygan : morgan my beloved: someone who never lets anyone feel forgotten! it's such a wonderful trait to remember people the way she does, especially when she does so many awesome things day to day already!! i feel like someone's priorities say a lot about them as a person and this is so true with morgan

@asukiess : autumn my beloved, she's always cheering me on 🥺 she is such a beautiful person in terms of literally everything -- personality, appearance, her brain, her creations -- and it feels like she is so Fully beautiful that just being around her makes you feel beautiful too

@ladyofthenoodle : noodles has known me since i was sixteen and has always felt like someone i know would stand by me regardless of how active i was in the fandom. i think the thing about noodles that has always inspired me is just the insane level of dedication she has to things in her life -- her work, her fics, her friendships, everything. to me she is someone extremely purposeful and very admirable!!

@jattendschaton : brenu has also known me since i was a baby and she has made me feel so loved and safe in her presence, even back when i didnt really believe i deserved it. bren has such a loving soul and i think it really shows in everything they do. their writing, their art, their tags on reblogs, and ESPECIALLY in conversations, you can tell that they are extremely full of love. talking to them feels like getting a hug. you can't NOT feel secure with them, even if you don't feel secure in yourself.

@hakucho-art : mika is my opposite in the ways that are so important to me. she is all the ambition and fire and fierce steadfastness to get what she wants that i lacked before i met her, and the best part is it's so natural to her that she doesn't even do it consciously. she is the person i turn to when i need to be reminded to stop thinking so much about what's the right thing to do and instead just do the thing and figure out what's right later. they are so amazing in every way and literally a case study on how to be naturally successful

@renwatchesanime : ren is my best friend and is quite literally always there for me. like, i never feel like im ever in an unescapable bind bc i know ren will somehow help me out. my fav thing about ren since forever has always been their brain. they're so fucking smart that i was jealous of them before we became friends. their thinking patterns feel like they catch all the things mine miss, and they're so insanely good at connecting information together and making it make sense. they're quite frankly an absolute genius and they dont give themselves enough credit for it.

#ask #anon