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megan-is-mia · 3 years

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Could I ask for Peacock Vil with #209? Like he's in his mating season and she is rejecting all his advances.

(This one is kind of long sorry) 209. “The way you say my name feel so fucking good…keep saying it.” (Yandere! Peacock Vil Schoenheit x Fem! S/o) (WARNING NSFW AND NON-CON AHEAD!)

Ever since she was a young girl (Y/n) had known what her future would be. Born to a concubine in the Peacock King’s harem there was only one fate open to her: to become a harem-girl like her mother before her and serve her master obediently. This fact had been drilled into her since toddlerhood. Yet there was something that gave her hope and kept her from fully accepting her destiny. She had a special friend, a secret friend who lived in the castle as well. They’d never seen each other’s faces but spoke to one another every day through a hole in the wall between the two grand gardens of the palace. Her friend called themself Scélérat, and they loved two things: knowledge and beauty. Each day they would teach (Y/n) new things they’d learned from the books in the library.

With every scrap of knowledge (Y/n) gained she found new strength in herself. When she was with Scélérat she wasn’t just a lowly harem girl, she was a person who mattered in this world. Yet as the years went by things began to change, she began to be plagued with more and more duties to make her into the ideal concubine. Even worse the Peacock King’s son Vil demanded that she become his personal servant and tend to him daily.

“(Y/n) why do you stand so far from my side? Come closer darling I won’t bite” Vil cooed as he lounged back on the chaise longue and gestured for the servant to come closer. (Y/n) grit her teeth but obeyed, she despised the peacock-man and his father and everything they stood for. If it wasn’t for the king and the prince, she and her mother would not be bound to a life of sexual servitude.

Vil pulled (Y/n) down into his lap as she came closer, she had grown more beautiful than he could ever have hoped for. He still remembered with total clarity when he’d first met her, back when they were children still innocent of heart. She’d been crying in the garden and he’d spoken to her through the wall. (Y/n) had spilled out her sorrows to him and he felt his heartache for the first time in his life.

He hadn’t told her his name then, for that would have ruined everything. To her, he would be Scélérat, someone she could always depend on to be there for her and lift her up. But as time has gone by their meetings had grown shorter and less frequent, it was not her fault that she wasn’t able to meet him. (Y/n) was blooming into a beautiful young woman and therefore she had to know her duties as a concubine.

That didn’t mean he would let her slip away from him. Sure for now she may not love him as Prince Vil, but he would win her yet. He was sure of it, she had no choice in the matter. When he became king he would dismiss most of the harem that his father had amassed. Of course, he would make sure the concubines went to good homes but he would not need so many women to keep him happy. The only woman he needed to be happy was (Y/n), she would be his queen in all but name. He wished he could make her queen proper but he knew patience would be key to being successful in his endeavors. If he gave her that power before he knew for certain that she was loyal to him everything could go down in flames. Vil could not let the love in his heart cloud his judgment on the matter.

(Y/n) hated how intimately the prince touched her. His hands made her skin crawl and she felt like she needed to scrub her skin clean after every encounter with him. The other harem girls gossiped that she must be his favorite since she was the only girl he’d ever called to his chambers. However, she did not care whether or not she was the prince’s favorite for she would never care for him.

For her heart already belonged to another, her beloved Scélérat, yes they were her beloved. Though she had never had the courage to tell them of her feelings for them and now she was unlikely to ever have the chance to tell them with the prince hoarding her time and body. The only relief she had was the fact the prince and king’s mating season would soon start and none would be allowed near their rooms nor them. Perhaps in this downtime (Y/n) would gain from the prince’s season she’d be able to speak to Scélérat again and set things straight. However, until the season started she would be quite busy with Prince Vil. In the week leading up to his mating season, the prince began acting strangely towards her. One could almost call it affectionate, the way he spoke to her and tried to shower her in gifts of clothes and jewelry. “He must be trying to court you” another harem girl suggested when (Y/n) spoke of her concerns one evening. “The gift-giving, the affectionate words, the only sensible explanation is that his more bestial brain is piloting and he wants you to be his mate” she added making (Y/n) cringe with disgust. Her? The prince’s mate? No way! There was no way she would ever become the prince’s mate!

Yet despite her unwillingness, she found herself being locked in with the prince on the day his rut started. At first, he seemed totally unaware of her presence in the room, jerking furiously on his bed and grunting in a low voice. This was a side of Vil she’d never seen before, who was this unrefined creature unable to think of anything but sex? She could almost feel pity for him, almost.

(Y/n) was so deep in her thoughts that she didn’t even notice when the prince had given up trying to pleasure himself and was creeping towards her. Suddenly she found herself being pulled and forced down on the bed as Vil climbed atop of her with a lecherous grin. (Y/n) grimaced and tried to kick him off even as he leaned down to capture her lips in a hungry kiss and ran his hands down her sides.

“Finally, I have you where I want you… I’ve been waiting for this day for years” Vil said in a coo as he pulled away from the kiss. “Ever since we were young I knew you were the one for me my darling” he added leaning in for another kiss. (Y/n) turned her head away confused by the prince’s words. “What… What are you talking about! You aren’t making any sense!” she said, trying to kick him again. “Even when we’re this close to one another you still don’t recognize me? You cannot recognize your oldest friend?” the prince said, leaning down to speak in (Y/n)’s ear. “Your dear Scélérat sits before you and yet you do not see?” he whispered before pressing a kiss to her ear. This revelation froze (Y/n) to her core, the prince… he was the one she’d loved for so long? Impossible! She could not accept, she would not accept this to be true!

“I don’t believe you! You must be lying! Scélérat is a good person, unlike you! He would never let me remain a harem girl if he had the power to free me like you do!” (Y/n) said in a hiss. “Oh I have every intention of freeing you, just not yet… first I must become king so I can make you my wife” Vil said nuzzling the young woman playfully. “But such serious matters can wait until another day, let us enjoy each other’s company” he concluded.

(Y/n) knew exactly what he meant by “enjoy each other’s company” and she wanted none of it. She tried to push him away again even as he kissed down her front, yanking her top down to lavish her breasts with attention. (Y/n) had never had the curiosity to try touching herself in such a matter and as such her body jolted with the new sensations Vil forced upon her with his mouth and hands.

“You saved yourself for me didn’t you darling?” the peacock-man said with a croon, his hands darting further down (Y/n)’s body to run down her thighs. “I wish I had the patience to wait until our wedding night to do this… but I suppose there really is nothing wrong with getting started on making an heir right?” he mused to himself as the young woman below him felt her blood run cold. Her? Carry the prince’s heir? She couldn’t think of many things worse than bearing a child for this man! Perhaps she could stop him from doing this tonight? Maybe she could spare herself such a fate by taking command now? (Y/n) reached down clumsily searching for the prince’s cock and taking it firmly in her grip. Without hesitation, she began jerking him off quickly as he began to buck into her hold. “Mmmph fuck that feels so good” Vil said, his tail feathers spreading behind him as he fucked himself into the girl’s fist and let his head lol back in pleasure. It didn’t take long for him to cum messily onto (Y/n)’s body with a weak grin. “That was delightful darling, now allow me to return the favor” the prince said situating himself between the girl’s thighs. He pulled her undergarments aside before pressing his mouth to her cunt. This was not what she had wanted to have happen! She’d touched him hoping that it would be enough to please him so he wouldn’t impregnate her. He wasn’t supposed to try and return the favor of pleasuring! (Y/n) weakly kicked at the prince as he sucked on her clit and drove his tongue deep into her cunt. It felt like he was trying to clean her insides out with his mouth and she could feel her eyes rolling back in her skull. “P-puh-prince Vil!” (Y/n) squealed desperately and to her surprise, the peacock-man stopped. “The way you say my name feel so fucking good…keep saying it” the prince groaned out before he began tongue-fucking her again. It didn’t take long until the harem girl was seeing white and cumming all over Vil’s face. He licked up her release greedily before spreading her legs and scooting so his cock brushed against her pussy.

“I’ll try to be gentle, considering this is your first time… but I can't promise I won’t lose control” Vil cooed before starting to sink into (Y/n)’s depths. It didn’t take much before the young woman was squirming with discomfort. The prince was so big compared to her and his cock was just as proportionally big. The kisses that he pressed to her face did nothing to ease the pain he was causing her at this moment. “Hold on for me darling… I just need to get all the way in and then I'll make you feel really good” the prince promised. He continued to sink into her, stretching her like she’d never been stretched before. His fingers teased her clit made it almost bearable but still it wasnt enough to take the pain away. Finally, Vil was all the way in and let out a long gasp. He nuzzled (Y/n)’s shoulder before kissing it.

“You feel so tight around me… it feels amazing… I'm going to make you feel amazing too” the peacock-man said, his tail feathers shaking with delight. He pulled back a little bit before slamming back into (Y/n) with a grunt. He repeated this action over and over again each time striking a spot deep inside the harem girl’s cunt that made her see stars and moan for him like he wanted. Gradually Vil’s movements got faster and faster, gripping the bedframe as he fucked (Y/n) with all his might. The young woman came so many times yet the prince showed no signs of wearing out despite the many times he had also cum as he pounded her into the bed. “I’m gonna plant an entire nest in your womb darling… you’ll like that won’t you? Soon you’ll be a wife, a mother, and a queen just like you deserve…” THE END

#Twisted Wonderland #Yandere Twisted Wonderland #TWST #Yandere TWST #Yandere Vil Schoenheit #Vil Schoenheit

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latuuart · 3 years

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Rei is not responsible for her husband, but she was a woman with a great quirk and plenty of opportunities to protect herself or their children. She is not a modern day abused wife with no power. I bet there are doctors/detectives with quirks like an actual lie detector. Would All might/others ignore her if she asked for help? She wasn't a nobody. Not to mention that she maimed one of the kids herself. Also, weird that none of the older kids ever reported this to their school, especially Natsuo

Hmm.. I'm not gonna assume anything about you here anon, but let me share a bit of experiences that I had with a few women in an abusive marriage here in my workplace.

These women came to me not for their situation. They came to consult about their children' condition. But, as we were talking and I was giving them consultation, these women couldn't help but blurted out the situation of their household. It's the pent-up feelings, they couldn't help it anymore that they told me about their husbands' violence towards them, some of them were crying when they were talking about that.

One woman came at me, initially came to consult about her right ear. It looked red and felt painful when touched. I asked her what happened. She said she fell. But, (from experiences and knowledge) the appearance of her ear and the other signs also the symptoms that she had did not really look like someone who has just fallen. It looked like it was gotten from a blunt trauma. And I asked again because it's always important to make sure the cause of the condition. She told me then, while crying, that her husband punched her. Not just on right ear, but also on her face, if I'm remembering correctly, there was subtle redness on her face too (I don't remember exactly it was on her right cheek or her nose, my encounter with her happened more than a year ago).

Do you understand what I'm trying to say here, anon?

It is never easy to tell people that your husband hit you.

It is never as easy as coming at the police then saying "hi, my husband hit me, please arrest him".

It is also not as easy as you think to tell other people about your household's condition. Those women told me because they saw me as a trusting figure, someone who would believe them. And I did, I do. It's not easy to tell people that you have been violated (in any way) that's why when someone come at you and say how they have been violated, it's always better to believe them, because it takes a lot of courage to speak up and how there always must be (even if just a little) an uncertainty in your head that people wouldn't believe what you said.

Enji is a powerful man. A very powerful one. One is denying the truth if saying he isn't. Take a look at how grateful Rei's father when Enji pursued his daughter, praising Enji's status and all. It shows just how high Enji's status was (still is) even comparing to Himura Family's status.

Next, coming at All Might? Like, coming at your husband's co-worker telling that his friend is hurting you at home? Does it sound usual to you, anon? Also, can we even trust the Heroes Society at this point? Did we ever see 1 (ONE) pro-hero confronting Endeavor for his past abuse or even just providing comfort to Rei and her children post Dabi exposing Enji? So easy to gather supports when you are a powerful man in a powerful position, huh?

Next, no, you are wrong. It is not weird for children to not talk about their abusive household. I will share another experience from my workplace. This kid was beaten by his mother and his mother's new husband. People from his neighbourhood took a pity on him (because they knew there was abuse going on towards him in his house for years) and took him without his parents knowing to us to check his condition, for this matter then to be able to be taken into the police. He did not want to talk at all, did not want to tell us anything at first. From a looong persuasion, he finally admitted what his mother and step-father had done to him.

So, if you never ask, why would a kid tell you their parents are hurting them at home?

Think about it again, please anon.

It is never easy to tell people someone that is supposed to love you, provide care to you, cherish you, is actually hurting you at home.

I also would like to add, about Rei's power, it is still forbidden for her to use her power, because she is no hero at all. Remember the Heroes Society's silly rule? You are not allowed to use your power if you don't have a permission. And, do you expect her to fight Enji? The hulk, big man, twice her size, the number 2 hero? He didn't have a problem with slapping and throwing her to the ground when she didn't even do anything to hurt him back, do you expect her to want to end up like the villains in their battle with Endeavor? She wasn't stupid. There's a difference between bravery and stupidity.

The last one, why would we talk about Rei so much here? If we want to talk about the core problem of the Todofam's abuse story, let's talk about Enji. In case you forget, the scar on Shouto's left eye, it wouldn't be there if Enji wasn't an as*hole. Rei hurting her son wouldn't even happen in the first place if Enji wasn't an abusive bast*rd.

So, let's stop this victim blaming energy (and kinda victim doubting energy too, because what it is supposed to mean when you said it's weird that the victims never reported the abuse before...). I'm sorry if there's any of my words that is probably rude and offends you, not my intention here, truly. But, I have to admit that I kinda got worked up when answering this (and it must be showing in my words) because this is such a, truly, a sensitive topic. Abused women are exist out there, and there are so many of them.

Worldwide, 27% of women aged 15-49 years who have been in a relationship report that they have been subjected to some form of physical and/or se*ual violence by their intimate partner.

The prevalence estimates of lifetime intimate partner violence range from 20% in the Western Pacific, 22% in high-income countries and Europe and 25% in the WHO Regions of the Americas to 33% in the WHO African region, 31% in the WHO Eastern Mediterranean region, and 33% in the WHO South-East Asia region.

Globally as many as 38% of all murd*rs of women are committed by intimate partners.

Abusive relationship and abusive marriage are common. It is out there, 1 of 4 women out there experiences that. And it is only a number of women who have reported that, how about the unreported ones?

And if this world is such a safe place, just report to the authorities then it's done (just like you said just Rei reporting to All Might or other people so it would be done?), why the number is still so high?

Don't forget about Rei's feelings towards Enji, too. I doubt she loves him, but I also doubt she hates him and wants him to d*e or suffer. She is so much of a soft soul to be wanting that and it must be a complicated feeling to have if we picture ourself in her position.

Please, when talking about victims (of any situation), when we talk about what they are supposed to do and what they are not supposed to do, always remember, can WE do that if we are on their position?

Again, I'm sorry if my (long) rant answer offends you. Hope we can discuss about another subject other than this. Have a good day.

#rei todoroki #natsuo todoroki #bnha #mha #my hero academia #bnha spoilers #boku no hero academia #anti endeavor #dabi #anonymous #latu post

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dolliedarlin · 3 years

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i m p l i c i t ⏤katsuki b.

p a i r i n g : bakugou x f.reader

s u m m a r y : ever since you were young, you were forced to meet with the person dubbed as your finance, Katsuki Bakugou, a Baron’s son who had quite the temper but peaks your interest in every way possible

l e n g t h : 1.9k

g e n r e : olden days au ; fantasy au ; arranged marriage au ; Bakugou is a tsundere ; and we love him for it ; reader is an amazing bean that can keep up with him ; kirishima is your brother ; best brother ever ; rumours are toxic ; never base your opinions on someone solely on rumours ; you attract a stalker ; it’s not your fault ; he just as a twisted yandere mind ; Katsuki is your hero ; he makes your heart flutter ; and he makes your knees weak ; i really want someone to protect me and say what he said at the end of this

w a r n i n g s : swearing from our lovable explosion murder king ; acts of stalker/yandere ; sword fighting

a / n : i didn’t plan on posting this but mother nature decided to pay me a visit today so i basically lazed around in my bed groaning in pain and half starving bc it was too painful to get out at times for food. instead i started writing this imagine again that i had began months ago. this is inspired by Ranma 1/2, which is an anime that i loved watching when i was much younger, it’s not well edited because i’m kinda dizzy rn but i hope you enjoy it!

— first of all, before either you or Katsuki were born, the arrangement for your marriage to each other was already settled by your parents, hence why you were immediately introduced when you were children

— neither of you knew what marriage or engagement meant but you both associated it with seeing each other

— it wasn’t something Katsuki liked but you didn’t quite mind it, he always gave you really interesting reactions that you quickly came to like

— as the two of you grew up together, you always tried your best to get close to him but Katsuki was adamant at pushing you away and keeping you at arms length at all times

— despite all that, you wanted to catch his attention, which meant that you took interest in all the things that he found interesting too. that included: sword fighting, horse riding, duelling ; spicy foods ; battle tactics ; magic etc

— Katsuki always tried to ignore you but secretly appreciated how skilled you had become over the years. you were still nothing compared to him but you were able to battle against a majority of qualified knights and still be the last one standing

— he only scoffed at you because your talents were wasted; you’re too kindhearted to ever use your honed skills properly - it irritates him that other women push you to conform to etiquette, tea parties and high society when you were better than that

— you’re better than shallow conversations about the latest fashion, or the art of sipping tea, calligraphy and painting because he knows how much you train and how much effort you put into your education outside of such insignificant things

— Katsuki knows that you can handle yourself better than any other nobleman he knows of, he’s seen you help your father with his business and vigorously train with your dukedom’s knights

— what’s the point of all that effort if you weren’t going to show anything for it?

— because of that Katsuki always acted like he hated having you as his fiancée despite your optimism about him, as well as your patience and understanding of his unique way of expressing himself

— because the two of you are forced to spend a lot of time together by your parents, you’ve has been able to understand Katsuki and his mannerisms better than anyone else as your mother has always taught you to be openminded - she’s never been like the other noble ladies of society, hence why your father married her

— now, you were following in her footsteps. there’s been much gossip about your unladylike behaviour but you didn’t care, all you needed were your parents’ love and the love of Katsuki. he still needed some more time to come around but you’re positive you’ll get to him soon enough

— you’re positive there’s a different gleam in his eyes whenever he looks towards you now. it had always been one of hatred when you were much younger but his expressions frequently soften around you nowadays.

— no matter how subtle it may be, you always notice

— many rumours circulated about you the first time you had shown your skills openly amongst the knighthood. it had first started with your knights who praised you highly but, as soon as those whisperings reached outside the dukedom, many noble ladies started to gossip about your misdemeanour.

— surprisingly, those rumours were shut down in under a week and you didn’t know why; usually such good gossip material stayed for months and only faded with the years so it was peculiar to have it die down so quickly

— what was suspicious was that, as soon as your rumours died down, stories about Katsuki surged forward.

— when you conversed with other people, they would say how horrible they feel for you having to marry such an aggressive and dislikable fiancee. they would then over-exaggerate all the belligerent and misunderstood characteristics of Bakugou, even making up disgusting rumours that painted him to be more villainous than he actually was.

— “how shameful,” you spat with disgust, glowering down at the noble ladies frozen in their seats, “how dare you openly gossip about my fiancee right in front of me, the nerve! you should know better than to act like such children. if you have nothing better to do then i suggest you leave the kirishima estate immediately and never expect to be invited back,”

— they tried to beg you for forgiveness, seeing as your father held such power in high society, being one of the four noble dukes of the kingdom serving directly under the king as they all had noble blood.

— nobody expected your father to marry you to a Baron’s son. Katsuki didn’t have a higher title than you but your fathers had gone to war together and remained loyal friends ever since, Baron Bakugou went on to acquire his title of Braon after his service in the war but many people still looked down on him from his commoner origins. to think that such educated ladies of high society would use that as leverage to gossip however they wished.

— word of your actions on behalf of Bakugou spread quickly and the two of you became a couple that shouldn’t be trifled with.

— after that day, you always defend Katsuki and never miss the opportunity to express how much you admire him and care for him even if he doesn’t tend to reciprocate it

— you do this when Katsuki’s friends make an appearance, they consisted of your brother, Eijiro, Denki of house Kaminari (son of Marquis Kaminari) and Hanta of house Sero (son of Marquis Sero).

— they usually don’t visit the estate but this time they decided to utilise the knights training grounds for extra duelling practice and happened to catch you just as you were walking out, having finished your own training

— as soon as introductions and polite greetings were exchanged, came the jokes and jives.

— “I wouldn’t blame you if you eloped with someone else on your wedding day, Lady (Y/N), knowing this guy’s attitude,” Denki snickers as he points his thumb at your fiancé, who growled lowly in return.

— “i wouldn’t dare do something like that because, even if this is an arranged marriage, Katsuki will be the only man for me” Katsuki didn’t expect you to be so forward and couldn’t help the blush that coated his cheeks from your response

— Denki whistled in a mix of astonishment and amusement, “Katsuki’s a lucky guy!”

— “he looks really happy to hear you say that too, sis,” Eijiro teased as Hanta grinned from beside him.

— “shut up! we came here to train so let's train already, you dumbasses!”

— the days go by and life is good; the quicker your wedding day approaches the kinder and gentler Katsuki treats you. it wasn’t until the kindness you practiced with everyone you met, no matter their status, became something more in the twisted mind of an unknown individual that you encountered within city streets, while out shopping

— one act of kindness made the stranger crave for your touch and sought you out in the most deviant method. he sent constant letters multiple times a day and even mailed one with his most intimate item of clothing, not only that but he always stood at the gates of your estate, waiting for it to be opened just to slip in and try to meet you again

— of course, he didn’t get far because of the security brought on by your dukedom’s talented knights stopped him at every devious attempt. each incident was reported directly to your brother, who was training to inherit the duchy as soon as your father retired

— Eijiro was having none of it and devised the best plan of action he could, knowing that his image as the heir of the dukedom needed to be thought of so that his people wouldn’t be against him when he took over his capable father’s place. he resisted the urge for an immediate confrontation to plan with you, about how you wanted to defuse the situation

— however, as soon as word got to Bakugou, he ran over on foot to confront the man at your estate, just as Eijiro came down with a squadron of knights and you at his side

— lost in his own world, your stalker immediately reached out for you the instant he caught sight of your figure. on his face, he had a twisted smile and manic eyes, his breathing became heavy as if to savour the same air you breathed not too far away from him. it was frighting and chilling to see such an unhinged man. he was so deranged, he didn’t mind the swords and pointed glares directed at him by all that were present and Katsuki, who was fast approaching from behind

— “Get. Away. From. Her!” Katsuki shouted in anger as he drew his sword and slashed at the young man, making you jump back with a gasp.

— “Bakugou!” Kirishima warned as he pulled you into his chest for protection from the clashing of swords

— “Katsuki, be careful!” you cried. confronting someone with such an unstable mind could go horribly wrong and no matter how skilled your fiancee was, you couldn’t help but worry

— Even though this was the first time Katsuki ever showed his feelings for you in such a dramatic gesture, the worry you had for him consumed your joy as his opponent drew out his own sword and started lashing out with worse coordination than your junior knights.

— what he lacked with technique, however, he made up for in agility as well as his own unpredictability. it made it hard for Katsuki to predict the path of his opponent’s sword so for a time, he was constantly dodging his blade. it didn’t take long, however, for the game of endurance and stamina to come into play and slow down his opponent enough for him to fight back with more accuracy.

— “you revolting rat!” Katsuki growled swinging his sword with might only to grind his teeth when his sword is narrowly dodged. not one to give up, however, he goes in once again and finally lands a hit that forces your stalker to crumble to his knees, “you try and pull that shit with (Y/N) again and I’ll be doing more than just beating you to the ground,” it was an obvious win for the blonde.

— “And what would that be?” your stalker still had fight in him that came off as more irritating than anything else Bakugou had ever encountered in his life of servitude as a royal knight and baron’s son.

— just to prove his point, whatever it may be, Katsuki goes to stand beside you and pull you into his chest with his large hand at your waist

— “landing your ugly, disgusting ass in a fucking coffin!” the venom in his voice was evident and it made you shudder, curling up into his chest for comfort, not knowing that the next words he’d shout would have your knees weaker than any training could ever do, “(Y/N) is MY Fiancee! you touch her and I’ll kill you!”

n a v i . | bnha mlist

#bakugou x reader #bakugou imagine #bakugou fluff #bnha bakugou #bnha olden days au #bnha fantasy au

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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Callie’s Disney Princess Retrospective: Beauty and the Beast

(Snow White) (Cinderella) (Sleeping Beauty) (The Little Mermaid)

The Little Mermaid was a huge success for Disney. It was such a big success that it began the Renaissance Era of Disney Animation and returned Disney to the top animation studio. While many people such as John Musker, Ron Clements, and Glen Keane can be credited for the film's success, the biggest player by far was lyricist Howard Ashman. He put his heart and soul into the film, and not just with song lyrics. He wanted the characters to connect to the audience. He wanted to play a part in the story. He wanted this film to be something special, and he succeeded. But he was also frustrated, could be argumentative when others didn't like his vision, and unknown to everyone, he was dying. After winning two Oscars for The Little Mermaid's music, Howard revealed to composer Alan Menken that he had AIDS, and he didn't have much longer to live.

However, Ashman wasn't going down before completing one more film. Though he had been writing music for Aladdin, he ultimately ended up as the lyricist of another film. A film that had been through many different iterations and was handed off to newbie directors. Little did anyone know just how impactful this film would be for Disney, and for the industry as a whole. Well, except for Ashman himself. The film that we are discussing today is the first animated film to ever, ever be nominated for Best Feature. That film is 1991''s Beauty and the Beast.

Overview

Belle is a beautiful young woman, but is seen as an oddity in her village due to her love of books and her utter disinterest in local heartthrob Gaston. When her father, an inventor named Maurice, leaves for a science fair, he ends up taking refuge in an old, abandoned castle. But the castle is actually enchanted and acts as the home to dozens of talking inanimate objects... and a fearsome beast. When Belle goes looking for her father, she offers to take his place as the Beast’s prisoner. But during her time in the castle, Belle discovers that this Beast may not be as much of a monster as he appears, and this may lead to both discovering true love...

Review

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I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this is by far one of Disney’s most beloved films. It got praise form both critics and movie-goers when it came out, and it’s only become more beloved in the nearly 20 years since. Belle is praised as a feminist's icon and the film for it’s themes of toxic masculinity, judging a book by it’s cover, and some of the darker aspects of society like those we blindly praise. I... like the film, but I never loved it to the extent as others. Not because it’s bad, that is a ridiculous notion. I just liked other films more and Belle just didn’t interest me as others like Cinderella or Mulan or Ariel. But seeing it again as an adult who has seen the darker aspects of society since I was a kid, it REALLY rings more deeply than it did back then.

One aspect that no one can argue about is the animation. The film is beautiful. It has some of Disney’s best animators at the time such as Glen Keene, Mark Henn, Andreas Deja, and so much more. There was so much life put into the film and it is a true visual spectacle.I meant hey managed to take inaminate objects, and bring them to life. Sure they have faces to help humanize them, but to make us believe that these are talking, moving objects that were once human is still a VERY difficult task. But they have so much personality like the suave, passionate candlesick Lumiere or the stuffy, orderly Cogsworth. The backgrounds andf settings are also great fromt he Sleepy Hollow-esque village to the gothic castle of The Beast, to the creedy woods that look even more terrifying when it snows. There’s so much color and lighting that is used so well, especially with the castle eminating so much mystery and intrigue compared tot he plain village that Belle is from.

But the setting we all remember most of all is the ballroom. While Disney has been using CGI some before, such as Big Ben in The Great Mouse Detective (yes,t hat WHOLE setting was computer graphics), this is probably the biggest use to date. The ballroom is a gorgeous golden color and looks so big and vast. It takes you’re breath away. There’s a reason why this is the most well-remembered part of the film. The animaiton for this film was very straining, especially due to conditios to accomodate Ashman that we’ll get to later. It was stressful, but they absoluteley put their all into it. When you watcht he ballroom sequence, added to the dance and Angela Lansbury’s lovely vocals, you forget that you’re even watching a movie. It feels like... well, love. It’s by far one of Disney’s best looking features.

As I said in the intro, the film ultimately fell into the laps of two relatively rookie animators; Kirk Wise and Gary Trousdale. This was after several various attempts to adapt the film, with none successful. Wise and Trousdale’s biggest claim to fame at the time was doing animaiton for EPCOT’s now defunct Cranium Command attraction (look up Who Stole Buzzy, boy is THAT a story) and while they had worked on other features, they had never been in the director seats. To make it more difficult, due to Ashman’s health continuing to gradually decline, Katzenburg decided to move produciton over to New York to spare him from having to travel. Which is a VERY noble effort and it’s sweet that they were willing to do so to keep working with Ashman, but as you can imagine this was quite a strain on the production team and as before, they would sometimes clash with Ashman and his vision. Still, they along with Menken returning as composer and writer Linda Woolverton, they reworked the then-script into something that they were happy with.

The setting is very reminiscent of another Disney work, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. One of two segments from the Package Film Era feature The Adventure of Ichabod and Mr. Toad. We all know the story of Ichabod and his infamous ride where he encountered the Headless Horseman. Here we have a similar quaint village where people seem rather simple-minded. Like in Sleepy Hollow where everyone took notice tot he rather strange looking Ichabod Crane, we see a similar notice of Belle who is an anomaly to them. Though unlike Ichabod, who had pretty much everyone under his thumb and is kind of a gold diging jerk, Belle is ostracized and is a FAR better person. Gaston bears a striking resemblance to Brom Bones in both looks and social status (tough Brom isn’t as bad in comparison or even compared to Ichabod, though still a Jerk Jock) and the Bimbettes bear a bit of similarity to Katrina. I wouldn’t be surprised if the crew used Sleepy Hollow as inspiration for setting and character design. Only thing missing is the Headless Horseman, which that would have been interesting XD

The film deals with several topics. There’s the standard ‘don’t judge a book by it’s cover’ and ‘true love conquers all’ messages. Both of which are handled very well. But there are also some that IDT Disney had ever really tackled to this point. There’s encouraging women to make their own choices, which Disney HAS tackled but this one does it differently with Belle rejecting the standard good-looking man and falling for the monstrous looking one. In fact there is really a strong theme tearing down toxic masculinity and male entitlement. It says that no, men are not obligated to a woman and that women have the freedom to reject them no matter the societal pressure. Especially if they act as despicable as Gaston. With how much more aware we’ve become of how horrible some men in power can be and how they use that power on vulnerable women, this remains a relevant message to todays audience. It let’s women be empowered, confident, and enjoy things like reading as well as have the hope of finding those who will be accepting. These are all important things, and the film does an excellent job in showing it and what actual love should be like. The Beast especially starts as a jerk, but once he decides to become better and wants to be better for no ulterior reasons, he proves worthy of Belle’s love. That’s how love should be and how a person should change themselves. Again, very well done.

Despite his health and being downcast about not completing Aladdin, Ashman still put his all into the film. As I said, they outright shifted production to another state at a time when social media and things like Skype and Zoom were a distant dream. Still, Ashman along with Menken put their all into the soundtrack, and it paid off big time. This film, along with The Little Mermaid, really set up the precedent for Broadway-style animaed films and considering that they continue to be successful, I’d say that that says a lot. There are a lot of memorable songs int his fimlm, and there’s even some that didn’t make it in. One in particular, Human Again, actualy got animated and added back for the film’s IMAX release and various home media releases (sadly it’s not in the Disney+ version). The score is also very well done, especially at the end. Just listen to the music when the Beast finally turns human again. It added to the outright magical animation will leave you in awe as much as Belle was.

But what about the vocal tracks? Good question. Let’s go over them:

Belle/Belle Reprise: Our first song which as the name suggests, is about our leading lady. It does a lovely job establishing her character as a book-loving, intelligent young woman feeling that there was be more than this life ans village that she remains stuck in. It also establishes the village’s rather simple-mindedness and socital expectatons, finding Belle a beautiful but very strange girl because of her loving reading more than getting married. It also establishes Gaston’s smugness, entitlement, and holding the entire village’s admiration, The music is optimistic, but there’s a lot here that’s gonna take a dark turn a the film goes on. The reprise is short and more somber, but let’s Belle express her unwillignness to marry a man like Gaston, wanting to find love on her own terms. Little does she know what’s awating her right after.

Gaston: No one can have a song named after Gaston like Gaston! Yeah, this inspired plenty of meme’s, didn’t it? Even Disney itself has gotten in on the fun haha! But seriously, this is a fun villain song. I gotta give Gaston this, he’s a smug, horrible person but he shows that he can back up many of his boasts. I don’t doubt that he can eat dozens of eggs a day or is as strong as an ox. The song also further shows the town’s utter blind devotion to this brute, not being concerned about his entitlement to a girl who clearly isnt interest and more because of how handsome and grand he is. Isn’t society fun kids?! But then at the end, after Maurice is kicked out, it takes a darker turn as Gaston makes his plans to essentially blackmail Belle with her father’s safety... and right back to blind praise! I feel zero sympathy for any of the villagers in this film. But yeah, a song with a lot of dark implications, but still a very enjoyable villain song.

Be Our Guest: This is a true show-stopper, and I’m not just saying that. Lumiere wanted to create a show, and BOY did he succeed. The song is the most like a Broadway number in it’s composition and grand feeling. The fact that we have a huge number full fo singing, dancing, stuntwork, etc is being done by a bunch of dishes and pretty freakin’ impressive. Yet the animators gave it all so much life and Jerry Orback sings with so much passion and energy and it is just SO much fun to watch! Especially with poor Cogsworth at first trying to get everyone to calm down, but by the end he gets real into it... well until Lumiere knocks him to the side. The only negative is that for being a song about serving Belle dinner, aside form a bit of The Grey Stuff she didn’t even eat dinner. For shame! So 1 out fo 10 of food servive, but the show was worthy of two thumbs up!

Something More: This was the song that replaced Human Again. It’s a sweet song about Belle and Beast beginning to realize their feelings the more that they spend aroudn each other. Belle sees that Beast may not be very well-mannered or much of a looker, but he does have a good heart and the more they interact, the more it begins to show. Belle’s kindness, intellience, and willingness to look beyond the surface has Beast falling in love with her, yet his fear of being a monster is still holding him back. Still as we see the two do things like have dinner, play in the snow, or even Beast letting Belle read to him, the more we see that spark of love slowly grow, even if they haven’t fully grasped it. It helps advance the romance, and it’s just really sweet.

Beauty and the Beast: The song that won Menken and Ashman another Oscar. It’s not hard to see why either. The song is beautiful. It’s performed by Angela Lansbury, and her gentle vocals accompanies by the gentle orchestra is just lovely. The woman outright did the song in one take. One take. That is insane, yet it happened. And I can see why because the song is just beautiful. It adds to much to the already majestic ballroom scene, being about two unlikely individuals finding love and ultimately making the other a better person. It’s just a work of beauty. There’s also the pop version by Celine Dion and Peabo Bryson, which I also really love. It’s more commerical, but still very pretty especially with Celine’s gorgeous singing voice. Both versions are beautiful, and the first thing I think of when I think of this film... and no, not just beause of the name.

The Mob Song: This is exactly as you would expect with a song with that title. It’s dark, angry, and scary. Gaston rallies the troops to kill The Beast, convincing them that he is a danger to them all. They grab their torches, weapons, and there’s just this tense atmosphere throughout. This is the culminaiton of al the socital expectations and blind devotion to a person who doesn’t at all deserve it. It’s also a very accurate protrayal of the mob mentality, where you become a part of this hivemind following the rest of the crowd no matter how wrong it may be and despite your own senebilities. The only ones who don’t fall into it, Belle and Maurice, get tossed into a basement for their trouble. What makes this song sad though? In Disney+’s documentary Howard, produced by Don Hahn who also produced this film, it was explained how in the eyes of several of his colleagues, it seemed like Ashman was venting about the AIDS epidemic. That was a VERY dark time where the gay community was especially under fire, persecuted, hated, and so many other horrible things because the world chose to blame them for it. Ashman was a gay man. He had an ex partner die of AIDS, and had another partner at the time who talked about him in the documentary. Imagine being scapegoated just because of your sexuality, even though you never caused any harm, and society hated on you and others fell into he mob mentality, and they went as far as to either demand you to die or do the job themselves. All because you were different. Really adds a new perspecive to the song, doesn’t it? This can be applied to so many groups too, which makes the song even scarier, but also emphasize even more how dangerous the mob mentality is. Very effective song.

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Sadly, Howard wouldn’t live to see all of his numbers to completion. With his health declining rapidly, Menken and various others went back and forth between Burbank and New York in order to work with him. Ashman worked until he psycially couldn’t anymore. He was even giving notes to performers like Paige O’Hara despite barely being able to talk. He managed to complete his work, at least to my knowledge, before his passing on March 14th, 1991, just a few months before the film’s release. After a screentest, which proved very successful, Don Hahn and some other colleagues went to see Ashman in the hospital to say their goodbyes. Hahn told him of the reception, and jokingly asked who would ahve expected that the film would have turned out so great? Ashman’s response? “I did.” The work he managed to do for Aladdin would be included in the film, which we’ll discuss when we get to that one. The soundtrack won the Oscar which was awarded to Ashman (as well as Menken) posthumously and a dedication to him was including at the end of the film. It’s always sad to see such a talented individual leave us far too soon, but his work truly brought new life to Disney and is beloved even all these years later. That is a legacy that will never fade.

Now we get to characters, and we have quite a good number of them. We have of course the village that Belle is from. On the surface, they seem like pretty plain people, satisfied with their way of life. But this also causes them to at least not think highly of those who break from that way of life. The men work, the women care for the children. If men don’t work, they’re jerk slobs. They all especially fall into blind admiration for the strong, handsome Gaston who is hailed as a local hero. So much so that no one gives ANY of his terrible actions an ounce of consideraiton. Selling Maurcie tot he looney bin? Well he’s alreafy viewed as crazy, so ah well. Belle trying to tell them that The Beast isn’t a monster? While their first imprression of him is defeniteley a bad one, the fact that they listen to Gaston and not the woman who actually interacted with The Beast says a lot about how simple minded they all are. I hope they learned their lesson after all was said and done, but even if not Belle doesn’t have to pay them any mind anyways.

The only person who is accepting of Belle is her father, Maurice. He’s viewed as a crackpot, but Maurice is a good-hearted, smart, and perfectly sensible man. He’s a bit of a goof with how his inventions can go haywire, but otherwise is no diferent from any other person. But like his daughter, his interests have him judged instead of what he’s like as a person. It’s especially sad when he tries to get help to save Belle, and he is merely laughed at and thrown out because of his status. Maurice is a loving father, accepting of Belle and of her interests and choices. She isn’t interested in Gaston? Fine with him. People view her as odd? That’s utterly ridiculous. It’s really nice to have a parent who is supportive and involved int heir kids life, especally compared to Triton last time who may be caring, but is utterly against everything that matters to Ariel. In fact it’s the firs ttime we’ve had this since Snow White and Cinderlla’s parents are dead and their stepmothers are horrible, Aurora grew up away from her otherwise caring parents, and Ariel... it’s complicated. Maurice is a good guy and it is good that Belle has someone who accepts her unconditionaly. She loves him so much that she sacrificed her happiness for him twice to protect him, which really shows how strong their bond is.

That brings us to our villain, Gaston. He is a hunter who is muscular, handsome, and has physical skills that he can back up. However he is also entitled, egotistical, sefish, and just a horrible person. He wants to marry Belle only because of her beauty and instead of trying to get to know her or shifitng atteniton to any of the girls who would gladly grovel before him, he pursues her despite her not liking him. It’s especially bad when he goes to her house, sets up a huge engagement party, and gets into her personal space in his attempts to charm her. She not only rejects him, but promptly humiliates him. Yet instead of thinking that he had tried far too hard and jumped the gun, he blames Belle for daring to reject him. He reflects exactly how society can view someone like him. No one thinks about the woman, they only see a good-looking man get rejected despite us not knowing anything about ther perosn or their relaitonship. Especially if that man is essentially a celebrity, which makes people look past anyhing.

But none of these things are indicitive of an evil perosn. An arrogant jerk yes, but not evil. That all changes when, after Maurice tries to get help, Gaston comes up with a new plan. He decides to have Maurice admitted to an asylum for being crazy, and to use this to force Belle to marry him. This is what shifts Gaston from a jerk to a true villain. This is how far his entitlement and selfishness goes. He is willing to take Belle’s own elderly father and use him and his freedom as blackmail to force her to marry him. Even compared to the four villainesses before him who committed horrible acts such as attempted murder, mental/emotional abuse, and even attempting world domination, this is utterly despicable. Then there's him deciding to kill The Beast. Despite what he says, it's not because of the potential risk to the town, it's solely because he sees that Belle loves him and can't stand it. He outright calls her crazy AND locks her and Maurice up out of pure entitlement and selfishness. He doesn't give a damn about Belle or her though and well-being. Only about his own.

Gaston is entertaining, but very much evil. As I said above he bears a lot of similarity to Brom Bones from Disney's The Legend of Sleepy Hollow. A muscular jock-like figure often the most beautifiul girl in town. Only while Brom was a jerk, he was arguably less bad than Ichabod Crane depending how you looked at it. Gaston essentially has Brom's muscles an Ichabod's selfishness. He cares only for himself and his own pride. Admittedly he put up a decent fight against The Beast, but that's only because Beast wasn’t fighting back until he saw Belle. When he did, Gaston whimpered and begged like the pathetic man that he is. Then he stabbed him despite being spared out of pure spite. An act that cost him his life. Fun fact, originally he survived the fall and was truly killed via the wolves. They ended up saving that for Scar's death in The Lion King. But yeah, Gaston died in the undignifiedmanner that he deserved. A despicable but memorable villain who was perfect for this film.

Then we have the castle characters. You’d think that it would be difficult to give life to a bunch of furniture and appliances... and it probably was. But this movie makes it look easy. They do give most of them humanoid features, like eyes and a mouth, but not all of them and even then it would be so easy to make it look creepy. But the castle staff is just os much fun and beaming with personality. We’re gonna discuss the main four: Lumiere, Cogsworth, Mrs. Potts, and Chip.

Lumiere is a candlestick, which matches his passionate characterization. He’s a showman. A romantic. A more daring, out-going character compared to his frequent frenemy Cogsworth. Cogsworth is a clock and I think he’s implied to be the Beast’s butler or some other kind of advisor. He’s stuffy, nervous, and the most lawful of the characters. Though he CAN get into the fun of things with a little provoking as demonstrated in Be Our Guest and the big battle during the climax. Hoenstly, Be Our Guest is a great number to demonstrate the two’s contrasitng perosnalities. Belle has been banned from eating and Cogsworth doens’t want to both break the Beast’s orders nor cause a bunch of noise that would anger him. Lumiere however? He’s dead set on getting Belle to fall for the Beast, so she should be treated as their guest, not a prisoner. Plus he and the other staff are tired after ten years of being stuck as they are and all alone, so cue the extravagant show number. Lumiere is having the time of his life while Cogsworth tries to convince everyone to stop... but by the end gets caught up in it and joins in ont he fun. Too bad that Lumiere knocks him off the center stage at the end haha. But yeah, their constant banter is amusing but they are clealry friends, especially in the fight where Cogsworth saves Lumiere. They’re both also performed wonderfully by their VA’s, Jerry Orbach and David Odgen Stiers, the latter of whom would appear in several more Disney films, including one for this series that we’ll get to fairly soon.

Mrs. Potts is a teapot and her son Chip is a tea cup. I guess that Chip ended up that way to match his mother, which her being a teapot matches her mothelry persona. She’s very kind and consoling towards Belle and seems the most understanding about The Beast and why he acts ike he does. Which since I think that she was essentially the house caretaker, makes sense since she’d have likely been the one looking out for him. Plus she herself is a mother, and since Beast has the emotion coping skills of a child, she’d know how to deal with it. Chip is the token child character, though not a bad one. He’s a nice kid with a huge curiosity. It’s really cute how hen allt he adults are seeing the bloomign romance between Belle and Beast, he’s uttelry confused like any kid would be haha! He takes a liking to Belle quickly, though more like he sees her as if she were an older sister than any kind fo crush or the like. He’s also smart, figuring out how to use Maurice’s inveniton to free Belle and Maurice quickly...and him wanitng to do it again got a good laugh out of me haha! Mrs. Potts is a nurturing mother and her with Chip is so sweet,e specially when they’re truly human again. Plus her advice of how things will turn out alright in the end is advice that I look back on sometimes. it’s really comforitng.

So... as I’ve mentioned in these reviews, a big issue is how underdeveloped that the prince has been. The first two were plot devices only. Phillip and Eric were better int hat they were active int he plot and Eric had some more perosnality and motivation than the other three did. But it just didn’t feel like the male elads were... quite at their full potential yet. They generally didn’t recieve any character development and were mainly there for the sake of being a lov einterest to the heroine. That all changed in this film with our hero, The Beast.

Beast is one of the most well-developed male leads in a Disney Princess film. A few like Aladdin, Naveen, and Eugene rival him for overall best (though tbf the former IS the lead of his movie so that may not count) but Beast helped make the princes more equal to their princess without overshadowing her. Beast is the co-protagonist to Belle and the character that recieves the bulk of the character development. The opening tells us all that we need to know: Beast was once Prince Adam, a spoiled brat. When he turned away an elderly begger, it turned out that she was an Enchantress and she cursed him into his monsturous form. Since he looks like a monster, he subsequently acts like a monster... or more accurately, like the child that he never truly grew out of emotionally. He’s angry, lashes out constantly, and roars at the top of his lungs when at his limit. Like how a child screams and throws a tantrum when things don’t go their way because they lack the social and emotional coping skills to handle their feelings properly. Becoming a beast left Beast isolated and ashamed to face reality, and thus he didn’t learnt he proper coping skills. He accepted that he would forever be a monster, and succumb to acting like one.

That is, until the day that Belle arrived. When she offers herself to free her father, it’s the opportunity that Beast never beleived that he would get. If he can win her love before the rose petals all fall, he’ll be human again. He’ll be free. While he begins still acitng agressive and even bordeirng on emotionally abusive, e isn’t heartless. When Belle is crying about not getting to say goodbye to her father, Beast seems to legit feel bad for hurting her. It doens’t change his behavior, but it’s still a small moment that shows some humanization. It’s important to add moments like this and his despair when using the mirror to hear Belle talk about him. She’s justified in disliking him at that point, but it’s his reactions that matter. It shows his insecurity, his fear, his utter despair that he’ll be cursed for the rest of eternity. He’s already succumbed to acting the part of a monster and is already struggling to act more polite. As amusing as the scene of him yelling at Belle through the door is, it demonstrates just how hard this is for him but if he can’t improve his behavior, then he has no chance. He knows it, and views it as hopeless. It helps humanize The Beast, showing that despite his appearance there IS a human soul in there somewhere. Someone who on some level does want to be better, but he doesn’t know how. If not for these moments, Beast would have been utterly unsympathetic, but they pulled it off.

The turning point comes after Beast rescues Belle from the wolves. Remember, he’d already pretty much given up on winning Belle over and being human again and the confrontation on the third floor certainly didn’t help matters. He could have just let Belle to her own devices... but instead he went to save her. I sincerely do not believe it was because she was a prisoner or because he needed her. He had given up. He had succumbed. But he did it anyways, showing that he isn’t a bad person. It’s something that Belle sees and she gets him back to the castle to treat him. She called him out on his temper, but is sincerely grateful and Beast is stunned by this genuine act of kindness. She didn’t fear him. She wasn’t disgusted by him. She didn’t even leave him to die despite having pretty good reason to leave him and go. Belle still chose to save his life as he did her’s, showing Beast probably the first true act of love that he ever experienced in his life. We know nothing of his family and while I’m sure that staff members like Ms. Potts certainly cared for him, clearly they didn’t do much to quell his spoiled behavior. Belle was kind because she’s a kind person, and Beast finds that he wants to be kind to her in return.

From that point, we see Beast in a new light. He calms down significantly. He’s happier. He carries himself less like a wild animal and more like a person. He’s outright excited when he prepares the library to surprise Belle with. He’s still awkward as shown with his table manners and interacting with birds durign Something There, but he is trying. He’s trying for Belle. He activly enjoys her company. He sees how beautiful she is physically, but that’s not why he likes her. She’s kind, intelligent, independant, and she makes him feel in a way that he never has. He still feels that she can’t love him because of what he is, but the change that she has caused is so evident. He’s fallen in love and the ballroom scene only strengthens that with himt he happiest that he’s been all film. But the crowner that truly demonstrates htis? When Belle expresses missing her father, he lets her use the mirror. Not only does he seem legit concerned when they see Maurice freezing to death but when he sees Belle’s clear distress, he decides to let her go. He’s sad when he does so, knowing that she may very well never return. But Belle’s father needs her. he can’t force her to say and be miserable. He loves her so much that he decided to let her go. But it does mean that he gav up his final chance at being human after feeling more human than he had in ten years, and he is left in despair.

His despair is so strong that when Gaston and the mob arrives, he doesn’t even try to fight back. He just waits and is prepared to let whatever happens to him happen. Fortunately Belle coming back restores his will to live and he fights back. When Gaston grovels for his life, what does Beast do? He grants it, simply growling at him to leave. It is that moment hat shows how much of a better person that Beast is compared to Gaston. He was an angry man bordering on abusive, but he changed. He met someone who wasn’t willing to take his behavior, but was also willing to see the good that was in him. He changed for her, and it made him a kinder, more selfless person. The only thing that remains is his self-loathing, even saying that maybe him dying is for the best after Gaston has stabbed him. Fortunately Belle confesses her love, and it not only saves his life, but breaks the curse just in time. Beast is restored to Adam, having earned the right to having his humanity back. It was a lovely way to cap off his development, and allowed him to earn his happily ever after.

Beast was very much Belle’s equal. Even nowadays they’re both promoted and marketed pretty equally. One’s story would have been incomplete without the other. They gave each other what they each wanted and needed. I’ll go into specifics for Belle when I get to her below, but in the Beast’s case he needed someone kind, but also independent. Someone who wouldn’t tolerate his behavior and push him to change himself, but still kind-hearted enough to see that there is something there and be willing to help. Belle treated him in a way that no one else had. She was defiant, but also caring. She pushed him to rediscover his humanity. She got him to want to be kind. She got him to want to be a better person, and he not only treated her better but he was kinder to his staff as well. He finally grew up from the spoiled brat that he was before. He had found a reason to, and his love was so genuine that he let Belle go to be with her father again. It’s a beautiful story of growth and did enough to make Beast’s issues clear and not excusable, but sympathetic enough that we wanted him to be better and feel happy when he does so. He’s the best developed male lead in a Disney Princess film up to this point and helped pave the way for equally well done male leads. Ones not there just to fill out a plot beat and be the princesses’ reward, but to stand at her side as her equal.

Boy did THAT one get long. there’s other minor characters. Le Fou, The Bimbettes, the psyche ward keeper voiced by the late, great Tony Jay, various other castle characters, etc. all of them are entertaining, I just don’t have much to say about them. So then... we have one more to go.

Belle Analysis

https://youtu.be/M4ne1A1aNrI

Belle is one of the most praised and beloved Disney Princesses of all time. She is smart, playful, independent, and kind-hearted. I feel like she gets overly praised at times, mainly because some like to use her to bash her four predecessors since she didn’t have the goal of falling in love. I won’t repeat what I said about the four, you can read the reviews, but it’s a VERY unfair argument not just to them, but to Belle as well. She’s used as a tool to bash other female characters instead of being loved for herself. Then agains he also gets bashed for the Stolkholm Syndrome argument, which we’ll get to that aspect here soon. But for now, let’s just discuss Belle piece by piece and see where the path leads us.

Belle’s intro establishes everything right off the bat. So much so that the intro sing is literally titled Belle. She’s bookish and cheerful, but it’s clear from her interactions witht he villagers and their own gossip that she’s seen as weird. The only people who seem to like her as she is is the bookshop owner and her own father. The women are jealous of her beauty, the men only see her for her beauty, and both sides are confused at her lack of conformity. Belle lives in a town that clearly has very old-fashioned views regarding gender roles. The men work, the women get married and have babies. They all seem content with this... except for Belle. She enjoys books and adventure, musing about wanting more than the provincial life that she has. She strolls through the village with her nose stuck in a book, but has no trouble navigating at all depsite the distraction. Books provide her a source of adventure and thrill that her limited life does not. She breaks those old-fashioned norms and he village is uttelry baffled at to how she can be this way. But what truly makes her a bafflement to everyone? Her utter rejection of Gaston. While just about every other women swoons at his feet, Belle couldn’t be less impressed if she tried. She’s familiar with how he is and if she had’t recieved his advances before their first scene, she’s probably seen it enough times to know that she doesn’t like him. Him dismisisng her passion for books and insulting her father did him no favors.

On the surface, Belle does’t seem bothered by these things. But when home, she does express some hurt about ti to her father, the one perosn who loves her for her unconditionally. She knows that she doesn’t fit in. She knows that she’s not happy with her life. She wants someone to understand her besides her father. She wants more to life where she can be herself. She wants to find love on her own terms and not have to deal with the advances of men like Gaston. None of this stops her form being able to handle herself, as demonstrated when Gaston goes to her house to force a proposal. She handles kicking him out with utter grace and her “I don’t deserve you” line is icing on the cake. But none of that changes how she feels. If anything, it enforces it. The village is all on Gaston’s side and at that point, her father has left for the science fair. He won’t be there forever, hence why she wants to find someone who will love her for her. To control her own destiny. To those who feel forced into their gender roles or being forced into a relationship that they don’t want whether by an agressive person or by peer pressure, Belle’s struggle is very relatable. Her independant spirit is also admirable as while she is dismayed with where she’s at, she still is able to smile and live her life as she wants. She’ defiant. She makes do with what she has and is able to handle what’s thrown at her with pure wit and ingenuity. Gaston nor anyone else can bring her down... at least, not until her wish for adventure ends up unexpectedly granted.

Before we progress forward, let’s pause to discuss Belle’s VA, Paige O’Hara. When Beauty and the Beast was beginning casting, O’Hara was already a rising Broadway actress and Disney happened to be seeking Broadway talent specifically. After several call-backs, she finally earned the part. She’s credited Howard Ashman as a huge help in guiding her to finding her voice as Belle, and she performs the role beautifully. She captures Belle’s independence yet playfulness very well, as well as her defiance and heartbreak in certain scenes. And her singing? Beautiful. Maybe not on par with Jodi Benson, but you can tell why she was a rising Broadway star. Today, O’Hara works mainly as a painter with Belle very much being one of her main muses. Sadly due to how much her voice has aged, she rarely plays Belle herself anymore, the role nowadays being primarialy done by VA Julie Nathanson. While she also does a lovely job at the part, O’Hara will always be the first to bring the character to life. Fortunteley she still shows a lot of love for the role and has attended multiple events and even got to reprise Belle at least one more time during Ralph Breaks the Internet. She had reprised Belle multiple times between various DTV films, TV appearances, and other events. So even if she is limited nowadays, her large body of work will live on forever.

Back to the film, Belle discovers that her father is in danger and ends up at the castle. We all know what happens at this point. Belle offers to take her dad’s place, Beast agrees, and Maurice is kicked out before Belle can so much as say goodbye. She’s distraught at this, and who can blame her? In a matter of hours, her life as she knew it was ripped away from her. Now instead of her old provincial life, she’s a prisoner in an enchanted castle ruled by an angry beast. Even when given the nicer room, she doesn’t feel that much better. She’s never going to get to see her father again or even know if he’s safely back home. She has no reason to believe that a rescue is coming. Some may say that she should try and get out, but isn’t she allowed this? To be upset and at a loss of what to do? It’s not like she just cries the whole time, she calms down enough to refuse to go to dinner despite the others insisting that she does. Even when Beast yells at her to do so, she refuses. She may be a prisoner, but she’s not going to play the victim. She’s going to be as she normally is; however she wants to be.

Soon, Belle’s able to calm down enough that she decides to go explore the castle. She is ultimateley a curious, adventurous spirit. Regardless of the circumstances, she can’t help but want to learn more about this new, strange place and these new figures that she’s encountered. You can tellt hat she’s warming up reatly during Be Our Guest where despite not actually getitng to eat anything, she is just havng far too much fun to care. It gets her spirits back up and now she can’t resist exploring more. Even if it risks The Beast’s wrath, one her curiosity has peaked, she can’t resist it. It’s a great strength, but also probably her biggest flaw. Despite having been told not to and knowing by now how Beast will react, she slips away from Cogsworth and Lumiere to go explore the West Wing. This ends with her seeing the trashed area, finding the Enchanted Rose, and getting yelled at by an enraged Beast. That is the last push needed to make Belle decide to escape.

So now that we’re at this point, we have to talk about one of the big topics that comes up when discussing this film: Stockholm Syndrome. To put it simply, Stockholm Syndrome is when the victim becomes emotionally attached to their aggressor and doesn’t want to leave them and tries to justify their actions. So when the vicitm is rescued, they may react negativly or even aggressively towards the rescuers in favor of the agressor. it’s a psychological response. This is actually a case where I was able to go to a professional to ask about it,: my own mother. My mom is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and currently works as a therapist. I’m fairly sure that she’s never treated anyone with Stockholm, but it is something that she knows of. I did ask her about if the film did glorify Stockholm Syndrome as some accuse it of. The gist of what she told me is... well, there’s enough in-film that either side can use it to prove their case. After all she DOES develop positive feelings towards Beast while a prisoner, so one can take the context and use it as an example, and same for the side who don’t agree. Ultimately Belle is a ficitonal character. We can’t sit her down and give her a psychoanalysis because she’s not real, and most of us doing these analysis’ aren’t therapists, psyologists, or mental health experts anyways. I’ll leave some sources below if you’d like further reading on the topic, but doing research isn’t the same as being a professional trained to go over these kinds of things. My mom said at most, Beast can be viewed as emotionally abusive, though it is because of his own trauma and he did ultimately improve to be a better person.

I fully agree that yes, if someone wants to make the arguent that the film promotes Stockholm Syndrome, they can. It’s their opinion, this came out in a diferent time than now where we take things like emotional abuse in cinema far more seriously, and in the end it’s a piece of fiction and people are free to view it however they wish. But the same also applies to me and in my opinion, no. Belle does NOT suffer from Stockholm Syndrome nor does the film glorify it. Now I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination. This is strictly my opinion going off my understanding of it. I may be wrong and if that’s the case, I apologize. But from what I know and understand, the case in the film is not a straight forward situation like the various case studies in the real world. Plus I think we see enough of Belle being defiant and not feeling positivly towards Beast to see that she certainly hasn’t developed any psychological attachment towards him to cope with her situation. We’ll be seeing her feelings towards him change, but I’ll explain why I don’t feel that it counts down below. But again, I’m not an expert. This is just my understanding of it.

So... why the long tangent there? Well we’re now at the wolf attack scene. The turning point in the relationship. Belle’s effort to escape ends with her cornered by a pack of vicious wolves. Fortunateley, The Beast rescues her and drives the wolves away... but he is inured in the process and passes out. As I said in Beast’s character breakdown, he didn’t have to do it at that point since he’d given up, but he did so anyways. It showed that he isn’t a bad person. Something that Belle also saw. The Beast had been aggressive and rude to her throughout, and she had every good reason to continue on her way now that the path was clear. But Belle didn’t. She got Beast onto her horse and took him back to the castle, the closest shelter, to treat his wounds. Is this because she feels compelled to do so after forming a psychological dependency or attachment to him? No. We see as she treats his wounds that she still isn’t going to tolerate his temper and rudeness towards her. She stands up for herself and talks back at him until he calms down. She very much retains her independence. So then... why did she save him? Because Belle is a good-hearted person who just saw this seemingly hateful beast save her life when he didn’t have to. She isn’t the kind of person to leave an injured person to die. She did it out of kindness and gratitude as we see when she genuinely thanks Beast for saving her life. She’s seen a new side to him now, and it’s made her reconsider her earlier stance. Thus Belle remains at the castle.

The characteristics of Stockholm Syndrome include positive feelings towards the captor and belief of goodness in the captor, no real effort in escaping, learned helplessness, and feelings of pity to the captor. You can read the list and learn more here, and the link will also be with the sources. So you’re probably looking at that and going ‘...uuuggghhhh’ at the movie right now. Which fair enough. However let’s also look at where we are now. This is the part of the film where Beast makes an honest effort to improve himself. He’s nicer, trying to be more polite, and treats Belle as a person. She’s really not a prisoner anymore at this point and while mybe theposisbility of being human again is motivating Beast, for the most part I think it’s because he genuinely grows to like Belle. As for Belle, I think that she likes the castle. It’s enchanted and full of intrigue and mystery, just like in her books. It’s the escape form that provincial life in the village that she’s been longing for. It’s a temptation that she just can’t resist. The staff all like her and treat her kindly and no one tries to force her to be something that she isn’t. Beast especially loves Belle’s love of books, even giving her the huge library to repay her earlier kindness. Belle is able to be who she is and be around those who are accepting of her. Even fi for the staff it’s for ulterior motives, IDT that they’re faking liking having her around and Beast certainly isn’t. This isn’t really a straight-forward captive or abuse situaiton that Stockholm Syndrome would apply to in my opinion, especially since Belle never once succumbs to the Beast’s terms. She only respects and acts friendly with him when he does so towards her, and they are both clearly benefiting positivly from it. We know that Beast has no malicious intenitons regarding Belle and it’s Lumiere and co. insisting on the relaitonship happening moreso, and that’s because they want their humanity back so it adds a bit of complexity. It’s just not a straight forward case where we can easily apply Stockholm Syndrome to and get an accurate reading, at least in my opinion. She certainly is FAR from helpless.

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So then let’s discuss Belle’s feelings for The Beast. We know how much Belle’s influence changed The Beast. But what about Belle? She really doens’t change during the movie, nor did she realy need to. She’s already confident about herself, likes herself, and she knows what she wants with her life. Sure her curiosity can get her into trouble, but otherwise she didn’t realy need a character arc like Beast did. What Belle needed was acceptance. To find someone who would like her for who she is and not see her as weird for it. Beast doesn’t at all view her that way. He enjoys being around her because she’s smart and independant and even gets her to read to him. It’s that kind of acceptance that Belle hasn’t recieved from anyone outside her father. The more that she sees Beast try to be better, the more that she sees how sweet and endeairng that he really is and she’s more than happy to help him. I think that seeing this kinder side bloom and that acceptance and even enjoyment of her is what makes Belle fall in love with him. It’s what helps make the ballroom scene so magical. Two people considered outsiders coming together and dancing the night way happily together. It’s beautiful, magical, and the perfect culminaiton in everything prior. They brought out the best in each other. Made each other happier in a way that no one else had ever done. They’re better now because of the other, and it’s just lovely to see.

But of course, we know what comes next. While happy with Beast and being at the castle, Belle still misses her father. When she sees him in the snow and horirbly sick, she’s distressed. Seing this, Beast allows he to go. Honestly I think that Belle could have left whenever she wanted at that point and Beast wouldn’thave fought it, but she was staying willingly at that point because she was happy. But her father needed her now. If she truly had Stockholm Syndorme, I don’t think that she would have done so. But she doesn’t really give it any kind of thought here. While sad to leave The Beast, she has alreayd mad eup her mind when told that she could go. She leaves to save her father, The Beast giving her the mirror and unbeknownst to her Chip tagging along. Belle fortunateley gets Maurice home safely... and just in time for Gaston to initiate his plan to have Maurice locked away. Belle is of course shocked and outraged and in a panic, uses the mirror to confirm The Beast’s existence. Despite her insistence that he isn’t a bad person, it’s too late. Gaston realizes that she’s in love with the ‘monster’ and we get the iconic line: “He’s no monster Gaston, you are.” Beast treated her like a person and improved himself from his more toxic behavior. Gaston treated her like the prey that he seeks during his hunts, refusing to let up until he’s won. Beast had even kept his word about letting Maurcie go and returned him to the village safely, and of course let Belle go to help him and even seemed to feel guilty for what he had done previously. Gaston though? He shows no guilt over trying to use Maurice to blackmail Belle. He continues his horrible behavior not only by forming the mob, but locking Belle and Maurice in their own cellar for simply speaking against it. Belle didn’t call Gaston a monster because she’s been conditioned or due to a coping reflex. It’s because Gaston is a genuinely despicable person while Beast grew to become a good person. She saw this and stood her ground as she always has, but this time at the point where she won’t tolerate it anymore. Which if it was your parent being shipped off to the insane asylum by some jerk just because they want to marry you, woudln’t you call them a monster in comparison?

So we reach the climax. Belle and Maurice arrive after Chip frees them with Belle rushing to get to Beast. She makes it and seeing her reignites Beast’s will to live... but he’s stabbed by Gaston. Belle saves Beast from falling over the roof, but there’s nothing that she can do to stop him from dying. She’s devestated, blaming herself for it. Beast’s final words to her are that at least he got to see Belle one last time, and if she hadn’t figured it out before, I think that this was when Belle realized that Beast loved her... and that she loved him. We knew that Beast certianly loved her but we needed it confirmed from Belle as the curse was still intact. As Beast lay motionless, Belle cries and at last confesses that yes, she does love him... just as the last rose petal falls. With that confession, the curse breaks and Beast is ressurected/becomes human again. Belle is shocked as she sees not The Beast standing before her, but Prince Adam. You can tell how confused she is. is this reallyt he same person that she loved? Adam confirms it and Belle looks into his eyes... and that’s all it takes for her to finally smile. yes, it is the same man that she had fallen in love with. They kiss,a nd the curse is truly broken. Everyone becomes human again,t he castle is restored to it’s original state, and Belle and Adam dance happily, free to live happily ever after.

Belle is a role model character. She’s there for girls to look up to, and I think that the amount of fans that she has proves that she succeeded. She encourages girls to be themselves. To be independant and not bend to social norms or pressure. To find love for themselves and not succumb tot he pressure of unwanted admirers or the pressure to marry them. Something that happens far too much in reality. She doesn’t change, but there was no reason for her to. As I said, Belle’s not one of my favorites. Not because I dislike her by any means. if anythign I like her much more now as an adult now that I have a stronger understanding of the film. I just have princesses that I like more, and that’s really it. I also don’t like how some insist that she’s the best Dsney Princess compared to her predecessors because as I hope I made clear in those reviews, the previous four pricnesses are NOT badly done. If anything, I think it’s more anti-femenist to use a woman to bash other women without just cause. Saying that belle is better because she didn’t fall in love witht he guy at first sight or didn’t sell her soul for a guy without caring to analyze those characters isn’t empowering, it’s saying that if you don’t act a certain way as a woman, you’re anti-feminist. Which is a terrible stance. No woman is the same and women shouldn’t be used against women in this kind of way. Regardless, that’s an issue with certain ‘critics’, not Belle herself. She’s a great character and someone that I can admire. Maybe not as much as others, but I can certainly see why she’s left such an impact on so many and not even just little girls. To many people of all kinds. Who could be upset about that?

Final Thoughts

Beauty and the Beast is a lovely film. Is it my favorite? No. I didn’t watch it all that much as a kid. As an adult I have a greater appreciation for it. It’s beautfully animated, it’s themes are well-protrayed and still relevant, the characters are memorable and fun, and it’s music is phenomenal. I can absoluteley see why this as the first animated film to ever be niminated for Best Picture. It’s a tragedy that it lost, but it still proved that animation very much had staying power as Walt proved all those years ago. And of course the film is the final testament of Howard Ashman. He may not have been part of the Disney Renaissance for long, but his contributions single-handedly changed the company and their films for the better. Even today this style of musical films is very much going strong even over 30 years since it began with The Little Mermaid. We lost Ashman far too soon, and who knows what amaizng things he could have one if he were still alive. We can never know the what ifs, but we can always appreciate what came during his lifetime. He, Kirk Wise, Gary Trousdale, Alan Menken, Don Hahn, various animators, and so many more did so much to bring this film to life, and it will forever stand as a true Disney Masterpiece.

The film was a giant success, and Disney wasn’t slowing down one bit. The very next year, another animated feature would come out. A film about a dashing street rat who found a magic lamp and unleashed a magical genie who would make all his dreams come true. But wait you may ask, isn’t this a Disney Princess retrospective? Yep. So why am I talking about a dashing hero? Well there is a princess in it, but she occupies a bit of a unique place in the line-up. She is the first and so far only Princess to not be the main charater in her film. But she still left a huge impact and i included in the main lineup so we are NOT leaving her out. So next time, come along as we enter a whole new world to discuss 1992’s Aladdin, and in particular Princess Jasmine.

Image Source: Animation Screencaps

Further Reading on Stockholm Syndrome: Healthline, Medical News Today, GoodTherapy, WebMD,

#callie reviews #disney princess reviews #beauty and the beast

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lilydalexf · 3 years

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Vickie Moseley

Vickie Moseley has 252 stories at Gossamer, some of which have also made their way to AO3. She has obviously contributed a ton to the fandom over the years! I’ve recced some of my favorites of her stories here before, including Giving Thanks, Stunned, and a bunch of post-eps for particular episodes, including “Firewalker” and “Pine Bluff Variant.” Big thanks to Vickie for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

Not really. Well, actually, it has always surprised me that anyone would read my stories even during the heyday of the series, but that’s my self-consciousness talking. That people are discovering The X-Files is not at all surprising and that they are stumbling on fan fic is a natural extension and I find that wonderful. My husband and I never watched Grimm when it was on network TV and we’re currently going through that series, so it’s the streaming-on-demand-there-isn’t-anything-new-on-TV times we find ourselves.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

Friendships. I have a group of women that I’ve been friends with for over 20 years. Until this year we gathered in person every year. We are in contact on Facebook messenger all the time and a conversation will start up just out of thin air when we haven’t conversed for months! It’s been wonderful knowing these women from all parts of the country (and the world for that matter).

And strangely enough, medical research. My writing tended to focus on ‘injured Mulder’ (or Mulder Torture as we termed it) and I also liked reading that in fan fic. Two years ago this managed to help me in real life. My husband experienced a bilateral pneumothorax (both lungs collapsed spontaneously). One of my favorite stories that I have read and reread is “Short of Breath” by the incomparable dee_ayy. She did some serious research while writing that story and it’s all in that fan fiction. I’m not saying it’s the same as a medical degree, but I knew what was happening, why the doctors where performing certain procedures and it really eased my mind as we went through the whole experience. I never would have known what was going on if I hadn’t read that story so many times.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

Email was the ‘social media’ for the day. That, and newsfeeds. There were two newsfeeds in the beginning: the official FOX website had a message board, and there was one on ‘alt.tv’ which was an internet newsfeed where fans posted spoilers and discussed episodes. The alt.tv newsfeed got tired of the fan fic writers posting stories so a separate newsfeed was formed just for fan fic. EMXC, which was an AOL mailing list, was invite only and somewhat exclusive at first, but opened up to everyone. When the old OSU (Ohio State University) mailing list turned into Gossamer and Ephemeral, the fandom, and fan fic just skyrocketed.

But what you lived for the most, as a writer, was actual feedback. Emails from people all over who read your story. It was nice to get a quick ‘Hey, read this and really like it!’ but the wonderful emails, the ones you kept in folders on your inbox, were the ones that went into detail, sometimes critical, sometimes grammar related, but always showing where you could improve, or where you touched someone. Every friend I have from the fandom started as feedback, either to me or from me. I’m on AO3 and I appreciate ‘kudos’ but I really love getting comments.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Confidence in my writing. I learned a lot from other writers. Constructive feedback was a gift! I may never write the great American novel but I don’t think I’m afraid to give it a shot after all my years in fan fic.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

They had me at ‘aliens’. I’m a sucker for UFO shows. Was front row center at Close Encounters of the Third Kind, read many of the UFO standards, still watch Ancient Aliens on History Channel. I was waiting for The X-Files based on the tiny blurb in the 1993 Fall Preview Guide from TV Guide.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I kinda got fired from a job I loved and couldn’t go back into that arena for a long time. I was so depressed I was cleaning out my kitchen cabinets. My husband ‘gave’ me the internet for my birthday just to get me out of the dumps. I went straight to ‘yahoo’ and typed in X Files. After reading all the character bios I saw a ‘hyperlink’ (yes, that’s what we called them in 1995) to something called ‘fan fiction’. It was the OSU tree directory of about 100 fan fiction stories. I was instantly hooked.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

I still love the show and all the fans I run across. I was not happy with S8 or S9 but I did watch The Truth. I was on Haven for a while during the reboots (S10 and S11) but it wasn’t the same. I’ve got all the seasons on DVD or blu ray and both movies. When I hear from fans, I’m so happy to connect but I don’t go out and look for new stories anymore.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

None. My heart belongs to Mulder ;)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

Captain Kirk, Spock, Captain Picard, Will Riker, Luke, Han, Leia, Poe, Rae, Kylo at the end. I like strong characters but it’s OK if they have flaws. I’d like to see more strong female leads in science fiction (Gammora and Nebula are favs of mine, too). I love Brea Larson’s portrayal of Captain Marvel!

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

Sure. When the Pandemic hit we started going through the series for maybe the 20th time. It’s nice to watch them on a larger TV screen. Kim Manners was a genius with lighting and showing just enough of the ‘monster’. I suspect he will be better appreciated in the future than he was at the time he was alive.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I still go back and read my favorites from XF. I read Blood Ties by Dawn about once a year, the whole series. I go back and read the Virtual Season X seasons. We had some really good stories in those years.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to list! Dawn, of course. Susan Proto (I co-wrote with her), Sally Bahnsen, dee_ayy, Suzanne Bickerstaff’s Magician Series was the first (and only) fantasy I ever truly liked! I loved all my co-writers and there are plenty of writers that I wish we’d gotten around to collaborating.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I’m proud of Out of the Cold because it’s Mulder before Scully. I’m partial to the Flight Into Egypt series because I like ‘righting’ what I thought Carter got wrong in the end.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

I keep trying! I’m working (have been working for almost a decade now) on a Flight Into Egypt story set at Christmas. Each fall I drag it out of mothballs, write a paragraph or two and get busy doing Christmas stuff. Funny, but it was easier to find time to write when I was a working mom of 6 than as a retired grandma of 3.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I’m putting together a cookbook for my kids and grandkids of all our family recipes. It’s not just the recipes, but the stories behind them. It’s a WIP (work in progress).

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I had a book, just a cheap paperback of unexplained events—all true stories, supposedly—that I got a lot of ideas from. Or, like Carter, I would see something in the news and it would turn into a story. One time I had a dream about our Pur water filter and it turned into a fan fic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

My older sister named me because my Mom and Dad let her. I never used a pen name. That’s my real name, you can google me and find out all about me. I used to have a wiki page or so my kids told me.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

My kids used to tell their friends that ‘Mom is famous on the internet’ as a joke. Most of my friends know. My other life is in politics and the two lives usually don’t cross but once on a campaign I was asked by a reporter if I was the ‘same’ Vickie Moseley who writes fan fiction. If I had lied, that would have been the story—that I lied about this hobby of mine. Like it was something to be ashamed of or I was ashamed of my writing. So instead of ducking the question I said ‘yeah, have you read any of my stuff?’ Fan fiction was not mentioned in the finished article.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

I’m on AO3 but only a partial list. My website is still up thanks to Mimic.

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

Back when I started writing (1995) it was a sort of commune. We all loved reading fan fiction, we didn’t want the story to end with the credits. So if you wanted to read, you were encouraged to write, too, so that others had stories to read and share. It was a cooperative arrangement very much like the old Literary Societies back in the 19th Century. I really miss that, so I hope that on some level that is still going on.

(Posted by Lilydale on November 10, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #vickie moseley

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luxfurem · 3 years

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@treppenwitzz asked: i need all the deets about your bellatrix... ALSO ANJI i wanna know more about anji | MEME.

So... this ended up really long and therefore it’s under the cut! I sort of left out the “who they could get along with” part but I also feel like that really just depends on verses and such, so we can totally discuss that sometime 🥺🥺🥺

Bellatrix Lestrange

TW for mentions of alcohol, abuse, death and miscarriage

TROPES/ARCHETYPES: The Champion, Femme Fatale

Bellatrix is the very first muse that I officially wrote on indie, but also a muse that I’ve explored in the many group rps I’ve been in in the years before that. Because of that, she’s been through a lot of changing and tweaking over the years, but I like what I’ve got going for her now.

I’m absolutely a big fan of villain characters and I support the humanizing of them because in my mind, it is all the more terrifying that a villain could like the same things as you, could be like you, but be capable of such terrible things. I think it creates a frightening perspective that’s the quiet sort of terrifying, and it’s what I aim to do with Bella. I wanted to create a villainous woman who is powerful without being sorry for it.

I do want to stress that a villain doesn’t necessarily become worthy or deserving of pity or redemption because their story contains sad aspects. In the end, everyone encounters terrible and sad things in life, and it’s what you do with these experiences that matters. If you become bitter or vengeful, that is a decision, and the consequences of however you decide to treat the world after are not cancelled out because of the reason why you became this way.

On the one hand, she is this terrifyingly powerful witch who, despite her comparatively young age, climbed up the ranks of the death eaters to the position of lieutenant at Voldemort’s side, but on the other she is someone’s daughter, someone’s sister, someone’s wife. I wanted to explore how these two aspects of her story intertwine, or, in some cases, clash.

My Bella is a bit canon-divergent in that I absolutely refuse to write a woman who’s completely submissive to a man, especially one that doesn’t deserve it. Of course, I don’t want to stray too far from her original arc in that I still believe she’s absolutely starstruck by Voldemort, but she is more interested in his abilities, his mind and his cunning than she is in him as a partner. It’s a different kind of infatuation, where she isn’t all too sure if she wants him or wants to BE him. In time, she settles with neither, and becomes his champion, instead. She’s a knight under his banner, a soldier under his command.

Much of Bella’s arc comes down to a dominant woman living in a society that doesn’t like dominant women. Pureblood circles are catered to the pureblood man, whereas the woman’s job, much like in societies of previous eras, is to bear a husband's children to continue the pureblood line. It’s a crude and sexist thing, and Bella wants none of it. From a young age, she rebels against her father’s firm beliefs in the way things are supposed to be, and rebels against her mother’s attempts to “guide” her back to how she’s supposed to be. She’s the feral child with the holes in her dresses, the scrapes on her legs from climbing trees and running too fast. Her long hair always tangled and messy. She knows that as a girl in the Black family, the highest achievement would have been to become matriarch, but even that wasn’t ever going to be enough for Bella.

When her mother dies, about two years after the birth of Narcissa, the matriarch of the Black family, Walburga, takes over the role for a short amount of time while her father drinks his grief away. After Sirius is born, however, even this steadiness falls away, as their aunt spends her full time caring for him and the second son, Regulus, born a year after. This leaves Bella to assume responsibility for her sisters at the age of 8. Her fights with her father, their temperaments going head to head resulting in situations I don’t really care to divulge about.

Once accepted into Hogwarts is where things start to divert. From one day to the next, her previously always messy hair is neatly combed back into a braid. Her clothes are pristine, not a spot in sight, and her sharp commentary is kept to a minimum. To all those around her, it seemed she had finally heeded her mother’s wishes, and embraced her place in society. But to those who knew her well enough, to her sisters and to her cousins, there was a stubborn fire burning behind those crow-black eyes, burning higher and brighter the more time passed. It was only a matter of time until the fire either consumed her, or consumed those around her.

It was at the age of 17, during her last year at Hogwarts, that Bellatrix was introduced to the Dark Lord. She’d seen him before, of course, but the Black family had stoically kept their stance on the matter of his campaign neutral, although this wouldn’t last. Her fiance-to-be, Rodolphus, who was a few years her senior, had already joined the ranks, and Voldemort’s actions could no longer be brushed off as a mere whim by the family. And Bella, who desired more than the life of a housewife, saw this as an opportunity to lift herself up.

I want to stress that I, as both a Tom Riddle and Bellatrix writer, don’t think their dynamic was of a romantic or lustful nature at all at this point in time, if ever. Voldemort saw the fire and the potential, and decided that he wanted both of these things for himself, for his ranks. She exceeded expectations and he decided that, if anyone was worthy to be his student, it was her. Over the course of the next two years, he trained her in the dark arts, eventually revealing her, at the age of nineteen, to be his new lieutenant. This was met with some resistance, of course. but Bella was quick to silence that. After all, she had risen above her station, and it had taken effort. She was not about to lose that to a bunch of butthurt men.

It’s also around this time that she marries Rodolphus, whom she puts through the ringer for months before and even post-marriage. She hated the idea of being passed from one man (her father) to another (her husband), as if she is nothing more than a possession. The marriage was arranged, and this bothered her, too, considering her lack of choice in the matter. And because she couldn’t exactly fight her father on it, she fought Rodolphus instead. On every turn, hoping he would be turned off and cancel it. After all, a man’s voice, even if he was only an heir, and not patriarch, still sounded louder than a woman’s voice ever would. But it only seemed to invigorate him, pulling closer the more she pushed. As if he were attracted to the fire, wanted to scorch himself just to stand in the light. He never forced her and he never would, even as she refused to let him into their marriage bed for months, even as she taunted him and ridiculed him. The marriage, in time, seemed to grant her a certain freedom that she never had as a daughter of house Black. She could go where she pleased, do as she pleased, pursue her position among the death eaters as she wanted to. She lost her wariness towards him, her anger. And eventually, she learned to love him.

Bellatrix used to be closest to her sister Andromeda. The two of them were, for a long time, practically inseparable, two halves of a whole. It was as if they should have been twins, and what one lacked, the other would possess. Where one went, you could soon expect the other to be. That was, of course, until Andromeda defected. When she did, Bella’s whole world collapsed. Her castle was captured from the inside, by sadness, by grief and by anger at the deceit. Because Andromeda hadn’t chosen her. Had chosen a “filthy mudblood” instead of her own sister, who had always cared for her, always been there for her. If Bella had had a mean streak, before, it was now full blown, a riptide that would destroy everything and everyone that didn’t get out of her way. She was devastated by the loss, and would never quite recover from it. This event had a huge impact on her view on muggleborns. Whereas before she allowed herself a certain tolerance, where she still viewed herself as holier than but limited her disdain to snooty looks and haughty comments, she now was actively hostile, threatening and garnering a reputation among the ranks of the death eaters for her ruthless, cruel actions.

During her marriage, Bella was pregnant exactly 4 times, but all 4 pregnancies ended up miscarriages fairly early on. It’s my belief that her problems stem from the inbreeding within the family and the English pureblood society in general. Contrary to her other beliefs on the woman in pureblood society, she was interested in being a mother and had the motherly instinct to go with it. Her not being capable of bearing children left her feeling devastated and hardened her heart. In AUs where she does have children, whether of her own or adopted, she develops a sort of caution, a knowledge that she isn’t just responsible for herself, but for this child as well. In these AUs, it keeps her out of Azkaban.

Speaking of Azkaban, I usually don’t write about her time there or really post-Azkaban, and this is mostly because I hate the narrative that she’s “crazy”, and I think it’s harmful towards people who have mental health problems. I believe, due to how Azkaban’s dementors suck the happiness out of people and how Azkaban looks like hell on earth, she suffers from a form of PTSD, but she is not “crazy”.

A few loose facts about her:

is bisexual but leans towards men

loves to write poetry, but she never shows it to anyone.

has a very low tolerance for alcohol and barely drinks.

loves coffee and can’t function without drinking it every morning

is obsessed with taking care of her hair. It’s long and dark and very well-maintained

loves to wear red lipstick

forced herself to learn to use her wand with both her left and her right hand

Anji Terryll

TROPES/ARCHETYPES: The Antihero, The Living Legend, The Reluctant Hero

Anji is actually one of my older muses, who doesn’t see the light of day often because I suppose the Skyrim fandom is sort of dead. On top of that, she’s a female oc. i don’t think i’ll need to explain this. Regardless of that and the lack of information I’ve put online about her ( which I actually seek to remedy by writing this ), she’s a quiet favorite who will never disappear from my roster.

I wanted to create a person who fate had been thrusted upon unwillingly. I wanted to create a woman who had never planned to do anything that didn’t benefit herself in life. Anji’s early life consisted of what was barely a life at the orphanage in Riften, where she watched the Thieves Guild lift jewelry from a man’s pocket with the man none the wiser. She never entertained the idea of being an honest worker, because she’d seen how the jarl treated honest workers. Of course, she knew that if she were to be caught thieving, the storm she’d call over herself would be worse, but that was only if she was going to be caught.

So she got herself into the Thieves’ Guild, worked her way up the ranks to Guild Master, before, near the border, she was caught stealing a horse and shipped off to Helgen, where the main story begins.

Anji is, from the start, reluctant about her supposed fate. She never believed in prophecies and rarely in Gods and now, everything was real, everything was true. And she was the main character of a legend. Thrust into a role she doesn’t think fit her. She isn’t who these people deserve, a thieving woman who serves only her own benefit. The people deserved a selfless knight, advocating for the survival of mankind, believing so wholly in oneself that they could overcome a legendary monster like Alduin the World-Eater. Someone who isn’t her. So she rejects her abilities, rejects her destiny, and pretends for months that she isn’t the one the Greybeards are calling from the Throat of the World.

And for a time, it works. For a time she can focus on the physical gain, the money she earns, the reputation. But in the back of her mind, the knowledge scratches at the door she keeps it behind. She sees the destruction the dragons are causing all over Skyrim, the terror of the people. The loss of morale. She tells herself that she decides to see what these Greybeards have to say, if only to tell them they’ll need to find someone else.

But she comes to learn that there is no one else. There is only her and her bow, and her lack of morale, against an ancient dragon.

Anji is the Reluctant Hero, the Unlikely Hero, not the woman you’d expect when one mentions the Dovahkiin. She’s slight and flighty, quick as a whip with her twin blades, relying on speed above strength. She prefers sneaking through the shadows instead of fighting her way through boldly and openly, and she never starts fights she can’t win. This doesn’t mean she won’t kill, and doesn’t mean she won’t use her powers, even for personal gain. She enjoys the power of the Voice and, as lore suggests, overtime grows more and more powerful (think: her voice can at some point burn the ice off a mountain), but she hates the responsibility that comes with it and will never fully accept it. She’s practical and quick-witted, more on the serious side of the spectrum, although she possesses a funny streak that only shows up in intimate settings ( think: close friends/guild/lovers ) or when she’s completely drunk. She observes each angle of a job or mission before proceeding, wanting to be ahead of each trap she might run into.

A few loose facts about her:

is bisexual but leans towards women

has absolutely no interest in bearing children, adopting is fine though

favors her bow over her twin blades

carries two daggers in each boot

In some verses she can be a werewolf for absolutely no other reason other than that i can

in modern verses she owns a martial arts school

Play smart not hard

#*✧･ﾟ OUT OF CHARACTER.#*✧･ﾟBELLATRIX LESTRANGE.#*✧･ﾟ ANJI TERRYLL.#treppenwitzz

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sapphixxx · 4 years

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so whats up with your poly stuff now? i get the feeling that you're not into it anymore

I’m not really into it anymore. I don’t have any judgment against it, I think it’s a perfectly fine and legitimate way of approaching relationships. But in my relationships and in a lot of the relationships I saw while I was into the community, I noticed a lot of issues that come up in polyamory that don’t often get addressed very well. None of these issues are unique to polyamory, but they do express themselves in unique ways in poly relationships. And because of the insular nature of the community, a lot of the time it gets written off as “oh well they’re just doing it wrong” without addressing how certain attitudes and behaviors are really widespread and not contained to just certain individuals.

Like, let’s talk about “one penis policies”, where a man restricts his girlfriend from dating anyone with a penis because he finds it too threatening to his sense of ownership over her. Or the general widespread biphobia where it’s always assumed that a person’s m/f partnership must always take priority as the most important and legitimate, and any gay relationships either partner might partake in are purely playing around and hold no weight. Even in Seattle, the supposed queer feminist bastion of the PNW, I repeatedly encountered these attitudes. It got to the point where I just stopped trying to date women who were in relationships with men, because inevitably the man would try and sabotage our relationship.

Even outside of particularly egregious examples like that, though, I found a lot of things that led to unhealthy relationships are really common. Like, there’s this trap that a lot of people fall into where they’re in a relationship that doesn’t make them happy, but why break up? After all, you can always just date another person to get all the things you’ve been wanting, so you get the best of both worlds! But relationships aren’t like equipment in an MMO, they’re not something you can mix and match to maximize benefits from. Treating them that way does a disservice to everyone involved. Like, a really common example I saw were married couples whose sex life had more or less died, so one of them started dating other people to have sex with. Which inevitably led to one of two conclusions. Either the new partner was purely seen as a sex dispenser and didn’t receive the full respect and commitment that you’d expect from an equitable partnership, or the person got really attached to the new partner and started devoting more time and energy into that relationship than their marriage. Either way someone was getting shafted and disrespected.

A lot of this comes down to the fact that you can’t intellectualize sex or break it off entirely from an emotional connection. Even if you just have a casual sexual relationship with someone, you’re still devoting emotional energy towards fostering trust between the two of you, and are building at least a level of trust and companionship that you feel comfortable making yourself vulnerable with them. It may not necessarily be a romantic partnership, but it’s still a relationship that takes commitment and energy. If your partner is running off to have sex with someone else, that is necessarily an act of them putting their commitment and energy elsewhere. That is a value neutral statement. It is neither good nor bad. It’s just something to be grappled with, and the fact of the matter is, most couples I’ve met do not possess the level of emotional intelligence and communication skills necessary to balance those commitments and areas of energy expenditure in an equitable way that leaves everyone feeling well cared for.

For example, when I was dating one of my exes, she was dating three or four other women at the same time. That alone did not bother me. What did bother me was feeling like an afterthought compared to these other women, and knowing she wouldn’t ever fully commit to me. I never felt like her girlfriend, I was just someone she fucked around with when she wanted some excitement. She was clearly distracted by the number of people she was dating, and didn’t have the space in her calendar necessary to devote time and attention to us equally. Then when she got overwhelmed and wanted to be single again, she broke it off with me over email.

Unfortunately, many people pursue polyamory because they have a habitual inability to commit. They see this as a way to have their cake and eat it too--to be able to keep a partner in reserve for when they want them, but to also be free to enjoy the thrill and chase of dating new people.

We have wants and needs that need to be addressed by our partner. If a partner isn’t responsive to those things, the way to fix it isn’t to date another person. The only way that gets fixed is by doing some hard work to make your existing relationship into something mutually satisfying, or to seriously consider breaking up. Polyamory works best when it’s pursued by people who are already in stable, healthy relationships where everyone’s needs are getting met. Trying to balance multiple dysfunctional relationships just magnifies those dysfunctions.

And again I’ll reiterate, none of this is unique to polyamory. Polyamory didn’t cause any of these problems. Polyamory is value neutral. For those who can make it work, it’s very good, and I’m glad for them. I have many friends who have multiple partners where everyone is a source of joy and support for each other. For those who can’t make it work, however, it just magnifies problems and ends up hurting multiple people at once. As a whole I think most people aren’t well suited to making it work. But, take my opinion with a healthy grain of salt. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences that have left me very cynical about relationships in general.

#Anonymous

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regeek · 4 years

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Essay of the North: Dragons, Masks, Ghosts, and Despair

Welcome to the next part of my essay about the Four Sister guardians. This one actually focuses on the sister guardians as individual characters. The thing that first drew me to these four characters as a subject matter is how thematically relevant they are to each book. In my opinion, each of the four books in the third Deltora Quest series has a central theme: in Dragon’s Nest it is dragons, in Shadowgate it is masks, in Isle of the Dead it is ghosts, and in Sister of the South it’s despair. Each of the guardians does a lot to tie these themes together, and each can be seen as sort of an embodiment of that theme, at least of the darker aspects of it. Another interesting thing that ties each of the sister guardians together is that each is a reference to another character in mythology or fiction, so I’ll talk about that here. The guardians are all beings of decay and subversion, so each is a subversion of some classical cultural archetype. Each of these characters, by being so thematically significant, help set apart the third series of Deltora books as a more powerful, resonant story than most youth fantasy stories.

First let’s start with Rolf the Capricorn. He is the antagonist of Dragon’s Nest, the start of the series. The main theme of Dragon’s Nest is the dragons themselves, and the crux of the story is Lief struggling with understanding these ferocious and powerful creatures. At the start of the story few in Deltora understood the dragons and their role in the ecosystem, so Lief has to learn if he can trust them as he embarks on a quest where they play an integral role. The dragons represent the harsh but important aspects of the natural world. From a distance they seem like dangerous monsters, but are actually vital parts of the environment in Deltora and must be respected. Although people fear them, they are actually keeping Deltora safe and balanced. The first test Lief faces in this series is reconnecting with the dragons and earning their trust.

Rolf is the embodiment of distrust and fear of dragons. Like the dragons, he is the remnant of a long-gone part of Deltora’s history, but not a part that should be brought back. His people are the biggest victims of the dragon’s rage, an entire society laid to waste by their fury. However, the fate of Capra is not what it seemed. In actuality the Capricorns were driving the dragons to extinction, and their obsession with beauty and artifice led to their destruction. They are a warning to the people of Deltora, an example of what will happen if they do not coexist with nature. But Rolf has nothing but resentment for dragon’s and all they represent. He has no interest in the modern state of Deltora, obsessed with a past that will never come back. He is deeply xenophobic, not just towards dragons but to all non-Capricorns. He would rather see the nation destroyed than integrate with it, helping the Shadow Lord doom Deltora to the same fate as Capra.

Fittingly, he takes the form of a false dragon. His appearance is described as hideous, like something our of a fever dream. He represents everything people feared about dragons, with none of their natural beauty. He seeks to exploit people’s reservations about working with dragons, making Lief question whether he can count these mysterious beasts as allies in his quest. His ultimate goal was to make it appear that the Ruby Dragon had joined the Shadow Lord as the guardian of the Sister of the East. Every step of the Shadow Lord’s plan with the Sisters was to convince the King of Deltora to abandon his quest. In this case to stop the quest before it even started, he cast doubt on the ability to work with the dragons at all. Rolf’s role in the plan was to drive Lief to abandon Deltora to the same fate that befell Capra.

Rolf is obviously based on a satyr form Greek mythology. He can be seen as a dark mirror to Pan, the greek god of nature. Pan was a being of music and sexuality, an amusing contrast to Rolf’s cowardly, pathetic persona. Over time Pan came to be associated with Pagan and Satanic beliefs, fitting given that Rolf is not what he appears to be. Rolf can also be seen as a parody of Mr. Tumnus from the Chronicles of Narnia. Mr. Tumnus was a faun encountered very early by the protagonists, and was a helpful guide for them. Lief and his companions also encounter Rolf pretty early in their adventure, but he is far from helpful. Although Rolf bears a physical resemblance to various goat-men throughout history, his personality and goals are the opposite of almost all of them.

The next guardian is Kirsten of Shadowgate, also known as the Masked One. Masks are the central motif of Shadowgate, with various types of masks being used by different characters for different reasons. Masks are used to hide your real identity with a new one of your own creation. The Masked Ones use their masks to turn on their old identities and create a new one for their new society. Laughing Jack can be thought of as wearing a mask in the form of his fake persona. Lief struggles with having masks placed on him against his will, overriding his own identity. Lief is shown for the first time a possible other life, one without the responsibilities and hardship of being the king, but with nor personal freedom.

It starts off with his physical resemblance to Bede, which drives Bess to force him to take the place of her son. At first Bess’s projection of Lief begins simple enough, making him learn to sing like her son did. Lief is too kind to turn her down, and finds himself being drawn deeper and deeper into the Masked Ones. This culminates in him having a mask literally forced onto his face, and he has to tear it off to regain his own identity. The result is a horrifying experience for him in which he briefly loses his mind, and ends with him scarring his face. These scars are a reminder of his experience, and also serve as a permanent physical distinction between him and Bede.

The book is structured to make you think Bede is going to be the antagonist, serving as a dark reflection of Lief. However, Bede is revealed to be a victim of the real villain, Kirsten. A character barely mentioned earlier, who nobody in the story thinks very much about, is the one behind everything. Kirsten is interesting among Deltora antagonists in that she begins affecting the plot very early on. Long before the heroes find her or even know of her existence she is pulling strings to drive the plot. The obstacle Lief must destroy in this story is not a reflection of his own identity, but someone who has removed their own identity completely. There are many masks in Shadowgate, but none as elaborate as Kirsten’s.

From what we know of Kirsten’s past, it sounds like she spent a lot of life being overlooked by others. Despite being beautiful, her face was paid attention to, so she created a new one. However, Kirsten is different from the rest of the characters in that both of her identities are “masks” and in her double life both of her personas are artificial. Her phantom is the embodiment of her allegiance to the Shadow Lord, a mask that moves on its own. The Masked One is a projection of her power and rage without having to reveal her true self to anyone. Her victims get no insight into the person killing them. She twists the culture of the man who rejected her, taking the form of a mask with nothing beneath it. But the version of Kirsten Lief and the others meet in the castle is also a “mask.” Its how she sees herself and wishes to be seen by others, but is just as fake as her phantom. Her external beauty disguises her horrific nature, and she forces Bede to live in her pretend reality with her. Her castle is an extension of this illusive reality, a world under her control that disappears upon her death. Appropriately she has reduced the other object of her rage, he sister, to nothing but a face by trapping her in a locket. Mariette no longer has a physical presence in the world, but still has all the things Kirsten will never have.

It is hard to look at Shadowgate and not see the influence of the Phantom of the Opera. The Masked One bears a physical resemblance to the Phantom, and murders performers to keep imprisoned a beautiful singer. Kirsten is a twist on character of Erik, wearing the physical appearance of Christine but performing the horrific action of the Phantom. Piecing together her identity is a key part of the plot, though the protagonists do not realize there even is a mystery until the end. The Masked One does not hide the image of a face burned by acid, but that of a beautiful women. Amusingly, Lief’s journey in this novel can be compared to Christine’s. Like her he is tutored in signing by a charismatic but untrustworthy figure in a mask, and he ends up with facial scarring like Erik. Also, while singing is used in Phantom of the Opera to communicate and empathize with the Phantom, in Shadowgate it is used to transmit coded warnings about the villain.

Isle of the Dead is about ghosts, the various ways in which the dead and action of the past still haunt us in the present. The most literal example of the ghosts of the past is Verity, and actual ghost keeping record of dark deeds past. Laughing Jack is on the run from the ghosts of his past, literally and figuratively. He can even be thought of as the “ghost” of James Gant, an identity left behind by a man who still wanders the world in search of something. Bone Point and the Lady Luck are places forever haunted by the dark memories of what happened there, showing Lief and the others a recording of it they cannot interact with. Lief and Barda free themselves from the Lady Luck by “correcting” the events of the past, and their battle with the Sister of the West requires they put together various other ghosts, like Verity’s memories, Doran the Dragonlover, and the Diamond Dragon.

In Isle of the Dead time is portrayed as all-consuming and unforgiving, and the effect of entropy on this story makes the protagonists feel like they are becoming ghosts too. The Sleeping Dunes show how a moment of passivity can lead to you being erased from history and forgotten, like the Amethyst Dragon was for years. Blood Lily Island shows how the passage of time can slowly destroy you. The island looks harmless but it slowly kills you without you even noticing (Rodda thought she could slip a little metaphor for despair past me here too- not on my watch!) Even the mighty dragons are shown to be vulnerable to the power of eternity, with Veritas being trapped by the Sleeping Dunes and the Diamond Dragon being stripped to bones by fleshbanes, which grew to great numbers during her sleep. The Lady Luck shows how you can’t escape the past or the passage of time. Its’ victims were doomed to eventually lose more than they can afford, and its pursuit of Lief and Jack makes them literally unable to run from the past forever. Isle of the Dead is a book concerned with eternity, how the passage of time destroys but also preserves people and ideas.

Doran is not quite a ghost as he is more undying than undead. He has guided Lief and the others through most of their adventures, and the memory of his actions is a great tool for them. However, each time they encounter someone who remembers Doran, they explain that he is long dead and the world he live din has changed. But Doran has been here the whole time, a final taunt from the Shadow Lord. In order to complete his life’s work, he must be destroyed by those he inspired. Doran’s actions are great allies to the king of Deltora, but the man himself is turned into an obstacle. The purpose of this design was to discourage anyone trying to destroy the Sisters, making them feel like they had to destroy their own history and what they hold dear.

But there is another “ghost” which provides Lief the opportunity to triumph over this challenge: the baby Diamond Dragon. Named after her mother, she shows how the legacy of the past is transferred down to new generations. Discovered on her mother’s bones, she is a glimmer of hope in a quest that seemed doomed. She shows that even as the heroes and icons of the past fades away, their legacy lives on in new generations. Just as Forta carries on the legacy of the Diamond Dragons, Lief carries on the work of Doran. The discovery of Forta allows Lief to beat the Shadow Lord’s trap. Doran’s last moments are of hope, not despair. He was meant to create depression about the past, but his death is a moment of hope for the future.

The revelation of Doran as the guardian of the Sister of the West is a shocking one, a twist on the usual pattern of these books having a battle with a big creature at the end. But those familiar with Arthurian lore perhaps should have seen it coming. Doran is an example of the Fisher King archetype. Many versions of the Fisher King appear in the tales of King Arthur, and many modern fantasy tales that follow the structure of those stories use a similar character. The Knight of the Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade is an example, and Azor performs a similar role in the Ixalan story for Magic: The Gathering. The Fisher King is the final guardian of the Holy Grail, a spiritual and mental challenge after a gauntlet of physical one. The Fisher King is a king who possesses the Holy Grail, but has been cursed by the eternal life it provides. The Fisher King is kept in an immortal but crippled state, forced to watch the land around him with as he lacks the strength to protect it. To retrieve the Grail Percival must let the Fisher King pass away and rest by proving he can protect his kingdom for future generations. Lief does a similar thing by revealing Forta to Doran and letting him finally rest knowing their is hope for the future of Deltora.

Sister of the South is a story about despair, a theme that has been running through the previous novels but takes center stage at the end. Lief’s journey in series three has slowly been eroding his faith that he can protect Deltora and be a good king. The final Sister is the ultimate challenge to his confidence, and the final phase of the Shadow Lord’s plan is to make his believe there is no way he can win. The endgame is to create a scenario where the land is condemned to die one way or the other. But to build up to that dilemma is a series of challenges to Lief’s optimism, both in his belief that Deltora can be saved and whether it even should. The Shadow Lord does this by guarding the last Sister with an embodiment of Deltora itself, manifesting the cultural flaws of the land into a plot to destroy the kingdom from within.

How fitting it is that after battling all sorts of hideous monsters, the last battle for the fate of Deltora is against a common citizen. The story of Deltora began when the Shadow Lord exploited the societal weaknesses of the city of Del to seize power, and the climax involves history repeating itself, raising the question if Deltora will ever be strong enough to oppose the Shadow Lord. Paff is the ultimate test of Lief’s abilities as king, challenging him not as an adventurer but as a politician. She turns the citizens of Del into her own weapon, presenting them with a threat their king cannot protect him from and drives them to seek shelter in paranoia and ethnic tension. Lief is forced to question his abilities as king when that question is being posed by his own citizens. And of course Paff herself is a citizen of Deltora too, representing all of Lief’s failures in a single person.

Paff is such a tragic figure because, even though her crimes were horrific, it’s easy to understand what drove her to the Shadow Lord. Nobody, absolutely nobody, treats her with kindness or respect. She was alone and unloved. Lief rescued her from the Shadowlands, but never gave her a feeling of freedom. Yet he never suspected anything was amiss with her, unaware that a deadly enemy was hiding in plain sight. Lief was unable to help Paff but also unable to understand her, never imagining that she was capable of such horrors. Of course, Lief never imagined ANY of his citizens were capable of creating the fake plague, and realizing that it must have been done by one of his subjects but not realizing who it could be was agonizing for him. Paff created a wave of despair within him by forcing him to wonder which of his subjects was a traitor, and that any of his allies could be his enemy. Her plan involved destroying the trust of the people of Deltora in each other, in their king, and of the king and his people.

The end result of Paff’s machinations is Lief’s lowest point. As he encounters the Sister of the South he realizes he is no different from his enemies. He could have gone down the same path they did, and is tempted to do so at the end. He is as imperfect as the rest of Deltora, and in order to save the country he must destroy one of its citizens. Let Lief’s empathy gives him strength. Even after all Paff has done, Lief still has pity for her. Realizing how similar they were let him understand her pain, and he gave her an opportunity to atone, even after all she did. Yet the Shadow Lord revealed himself unwilling to provide such mercy, taking Paff’s powers and throwing her aside like a used tool. Paff had given too far into despair by this point, and rather than be redeemed she destroyed herself with the greatest symbol of the country she betrayed.

Before we talk about the cultural references baked into Paff’s character, I’d like to talk for a moment about the creature she controlled, as it is pretty unique among Deltora monsters. Like the Masked One, it is an extension of Paff’s power, its horrific appearance and strength contrasting the unassuming, harmless appearance of its controller. It is a creature of black oil, its lack of shape representing the hidden, insidious threat to the kingdom. It can attack several people at once in all directions, representing how Paff’s plot endangered every level of Deltoran society. The two heads are an unusual feature, unlike anything else in Deltora’s bestiary. The heads being a dog and a bird lack any biological purpose, suggesting that its appearance is more about symbolism than biology. As strange and varied as Deltora’s monsters are, all of their appearances served some sort of purpose. The creature Paff summons feels more like something from ancient myth or religion, not something that belongs in the natural world. It brings to mind the two-faced Roman god Janus, or the cherubim, and angel with the heads of a man, an ox, and eagle, and a lion.

The more mythical appearance of Paff’s creature got me thinking, and I’ve come to the conclusion that the cultural icon Paff references is the last book of the Christian Bible. The Book of Revelations, also known as the Book of Apocalypse, is a complex and confusing part of the Bible, so I’m going to tread lightly here. The book presents a vision of the end of the world, with human society being destroyed and the people of earth being judged by God. Appropriately, the Sister of the South features an apocalyptic scenario with the grey tide, a final judgment for Lief and the people of Deltora. More specifically the Book of Revelation describes two beasts that bring down human civilization, which I think are inspirations for Paff and her creature. The first beast is a huge monster made up of different animal parts, like Paff’s creation. It caused people to follow it, like how the people followed Paff’s propaganda about the plague. The second beast is a false prophet, which “breathed life” into the image of the first beast, and brought death to those who would not worship it. Paff herself is clearly a parallel to the second beast. Yet like all the other guardians, the story that Paff references is subverted by her. The Shadow Lord’s plan is based on an apocalyptic story he participated in, and he seeks to put the people of Deltora in the same position with the Grey Tide. The first beast was described as a seven headed dragon, yet it is seven dragons that save Deltora, rather than destroy it. Fittingly, unlike in Revelations the land of Deltora is not destroyed, and Paff fails to overthrow society. The “prophecy” the Shadow Lord created does not come to pass, and the despair his plan weaponized is defeated by hope. The story ends on an optimistic note detailing a long era of peace and tranquility.

These four characters are twisted and sad people, sympathetic yet dangerous. They are representatives of the failures of Deltora, tools for the Shadow Lord to destroy the kingdom from within. Lief’s journey to destroy the Four Sisters is about him coming to terms with the weaknesses in himself and his kingdom. Every step of the way he is shown that he cannot save the kingdom without destroying parts of it. Each of these characters are examples of what Lief could become, and he has prove himself different from them in order to succeed. As Lief battles them externally he is forced into an internal battle, one that has been building up over the course of the series. That will lead us to the next essay, about Lief’s psychology and why the Four Sisters quest is such a difficult and personal one for him.

#deltora #deltora quest

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thecleverdame · 5 years

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Control and Release - 22

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: With the rest of the staff caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, nipple clamps, dub-con, breath play.

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Words: 4.6k

Parts 23, 24, 25 & 26are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories, including the ABO series Gods of Twilight and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<

“Are you seriously going to pretend like that didn’t happen?” You trail Sam back down the hallway, glancing behind you. Pepper ran out as soon as she collected her documents, but you’re still on edge.

“I’m not pretending anything.” Sam wanders into the bedroom, waving a hand without turning around. “What reaction would you like me to have?”

“I don’t know,” you stand the doorway, trying to think coherent thoughts. “You’re not concerned? Embarrassed?”

“Why would I be concerned?” He pauses to turn back to you skeptically. “She won’t tell anyone. She’s a bitch and she hates you but she would never betray my trust.”

“Oh,” you nod, unable to believe how calm he is. “So that’s just it huh?”

“Why would I be embarrassed?” He cocks his head, asking it as a genuine question.

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “She walked in on us having sex. In your kitchen.”

“You’re the one who was naked. I understand why you'd feel that way,” he volleys back.

“And it’s not a thing for you?” you inch into the room. “That she knows you’re with me or sleeping with me at least?”

“You say that like you’re something to be embarrassed about,” he snorts, yanking his shirt off over his head. “I’m sure most people would think being with you is the best part about me. My sole redeeming quality.”

And with that, he wanders off into the bathroom and shower turns on. You smile to yourself, cheeks burning at his easy declaration. He always does this, says things that would be laughable if it was anyone other than him.

“Take your clothes off and get in here,” he calls from the shower.

“Coming!” you sing-song, shedding your shirt and joining him under the warm water.

His kisses are messy this morning, open mouthed and wet, the heft of his tongue sliding over your own. You find yourself trapped between his warm, dripping body and the cold tile of the shower as he lifts you up and slides his cock into your pussy in one easy move.

The first thrust is always the best, that forced stretch of your body opening up for him and the thickness of his cock filling up every last inch inside. One of his forearms presses on the tile beside your head, the other hand cupping your ass, as he ruts up into you again and again.

“Fuck, Sam,” you moan into his mouth. Grasping his shoulders you hang on as he thrusts hard and fast.

He stops to nip at your bottom lip, catching it. “We’ll try this in the kitchen again this weekend.”

You haven’t been up to Sam’s office since W & S moved into the new buildings. The old offices were modern, but these buildings are from the turn of the century with an aging charm you can appreciate.

With a controlled, neutral expression you approach Pepper at her desk. She glances up, sees you and then looks back to her computer.

“He’s out to lunch with a client,” she explains coolly.

“Actually, I came to see you.”

“Why?” She smiles, a frightening expression that’s so unnatural you almost flinch.

“You know why,” you whisper, stepping closer. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry that you walked in on us. It had to be really uncomfortable seeing us like that, seeing Sam with me.”

“Please, don’t patronize me. I’m an adult. I can handle seeing your tits,” she spits back, her cheeks turning red. “Are you honestly naive enough to think you’re the first? Two years ago I caught him getting a blow job in the middle of his living room. You, naked in the kitchen, doesn’t even rank compared to that.”

Stifling your reaction you take a step back from the desk. She invoked the idea of Sam with another woman to get a rise out of you but you refuse to play into her game. “I shouldn’t have come up here. I’m sorry.”

“You, of all people,” she mutters, unable to hold back.

“What the hell does that mean?” you counter.

“I mean, I get it,” she sneers. “You’re beautiful and good at taking orders, he likes that. But Jesus, how did the two of you even get to that point? What, did he save your life and so you felt like you should offer him your pussy?”

“What’s wrong with you?” You stare at her, trying to determine the root of this hostility. Does she want him? Does she just hate you that much?

“Just be sure to watch yourself,” she warns. “I thought he was too smart to hook up with some desperate woman at work but I guess all men are led around by their dicks after all. If you think you matter to him, you don’t. I’ve seen that side of him, he’ll fuck you until he’s had his fill and then you’re toast.”

“Why are you always so nasty?” Shaking your head you back away. You came here to offer an olive branch but she’s not going to allow that.

“Because I’m the one who put in the time!” She points at you, thrusting a finger forward. “I work ninety hour weeks. I take his shit day in and day out, I take the blame and responsibility for every Goddamn thing that goes wrong. And you suck his dick and now you’re in some made-up position making the same amount of money as I am but dealing with a fraction of the bullshit. Jesus! Honestly, you were the last person I thought would sleep her way to the top. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“It’s not like that,” you counter, wiping away a tear that’s managed to escape.

“What is it like then?”

“It’s not how you’re making it out to be.”

“How many blow jobs get you a position like that?”

“Now you’re just being cruel.”

“I’m being real.” Her face is beet red, her eyes welling up with tears. “You’ve been here a year and he’s given you special treatment from the beginning. I can’t stand to look at you anymore. I’ll send you an alert via email when he’s back in his office if you want to see him.”

Hours later you’re still seething from the confrontation. You’ve been locked up in your office, practically vibrating with anger since the encounter earlier that morning. Pepper has always been a grade-A bitch and you should have known that trying to explain yourself would get you nowhere. At least Sam was right about one thing, you’re sure of her allegiance. She takes her position seriously and she’s terrified of him. That makes for a powerful combination.

You’re about to go over next week’s schedule when there’s a knock on your door. Looking up you find none other than Pepper. Rolling your eyes you shake your head no, glaring at her.

“What are you doing here?”

Pepper leans against the door frame, watching you intently before stepping inside and carefully shutting the door. She silently takes a seat across from you, sucking in a breath before speaking.

“I was thinking. When you were leaving for Chicago, Millie wouldn’t shut up about your mystery boyfriend. She went on and on about what an asshole he must be to make you leave the city just to get over him. She thought it was Dale from accounting.”

You shift in your chair, uncomfortable with where this is going but even more appalled at the idea of Dale being your lover.

“He’s like, sixty.”

“Yeah, but a silver fox,” she grins. “Then I started thinking about Sam’s special project. All those last-minute meetings. In the entire time I’ve worked for him, he’s never once scheduled a meeting himself. I should have known there was something going on.”

“I wasn’t trying to get special treatment. It just kind of...evolved,” you admit quietly. “It was never my intention to use him to get ahead professionally. Despite what you think, that’s not what this is. I’m good at this.”

Her eyes narrow as she studies you. She’s clearly been working with Sam for too long because she’s taken on several of his mannerisms, including his stare that could pry state secrets out a cold war spy.

“When did it start?” she asks.

“That is none your business,” you counter, suspicious of her motives.

“Oh come on,” she sighs dramatically, leaning back in the chair. “Who am I going to tell? I signed a nondisclosure when I started working for him. If I ever spill any of Winchester’s beans he’d ruin my life.”

It’s an interesting juxtaposition. You and Pepper have more in common than most. Your varying relationships with Sam and the sex contract he made you sign. It’s strange to hear her talk about their own legal agreement. Sam knows the devil is in the details and he’s covered his ass from all angles.

“It happened early on,” you admit, feeling a weight lifted in telling someone, anyone. Even if that person is your arch-nemesis. “When you first had me cover for you during that snowstorm.”

“Shit,” she breathes looking at you in a mix of disbelief and amazement. “You’re sleeping with Sam Winchester. I don’t get it. I mean, women like power but this is Sam we’re talking about. Does he give you his frequent flyer miles or something?”

“If you’re going to be like that, you can leave.” You point to the door and she rolls her eyes.

“I just mean, it’s crazy from both sides. I always figured he hired high priced hookers or something, but you...I can’t believe I didn’t see it. Does he pay you?”

“Fuck you, Pepper,” you sneer, leaning forward. “I’m not a whore.”

“What? Are you dating?” She laughs at the idea.

You offer a shrug, then nod slowly in confirmation.

“Are you kidding me?” Her face falls, a look of genuine concern pulling her mouth into a nasty little grimace. “Do you live with him?”

“No, I mean I stayed for a while after the shooting, but I’m not living there now.”

“I don’t even know what to say.” All the energy has drained out of her.

“Why is it so hard for you to believe that he would be with me?”

“It’s nothing to do with you,” she shakes her head. “I mean, I know he’s not a machine but he hates people. I can’t believe he would have the patience to be in any kind of relationship. You gotta be a masochist because he’s a bastard.”

“He’s not so bad,” you retort.

“Fuck, you got it bad for him, huh? You clearly haven’t been on the receiving end of that temper.”

Your face goes hot, and you swallow hard at the mere idea of being on the receiving end of anything he’s got to give.

“He can be sweet.” You smile to yourself and glance up. Her eyes have shifted, a sudden hesitation crossing her face.

“Please don’t tell him what I said,” she requests in a hurried breath. “What happened with the documents, that wasn’t my first fuck up recently and I can’t get fired, please don’t tell him. I know I’ve been a cunt to you, but I need this job. No one is going to pay me close to what he does and I’ve got people in my life who need that money. Please don’t tell him.”

“Okay,” you agree automatically, watching the desperation wash over her entire demeanor. There’s clearly a lot more going on with Pepper beneath the surface. “I won’t.”

“Why wouldn't you?” she snips. “If what you said about your relationship is true, he’d be furious if he knew I talked to you that way. After everything I’ve done to you, why would you keep your mouth shut? I’ve thrown you under the bus a couple of times.”

“I’m not you, Pepper.” You shrug. “It wouldn’t make me feel any better to get you in trouble. Not to mention we both almost died. I think that means we deserve a chance to start over. I’m not saying we need to be friends, but at least we can be kinder to each other.”

“Alright,” she agrees hesitantly. Rolling her eyes again she laughs, shaking out nervous energy. “I can’t believe this.”

“Sam thinks a lot of you,” you add and she snaps to attention. “He trusts you and we both know there are not many people on that list.”

“Well,” she shrugs, getting up and head to the door. “I wish someone would tell him.”

Cole’s office is exactly what you expected, meticulously organized with small personal touches that make it his own. He spends most of his life here, countless hours working hard to make a good impression and so far he’s exceeded everyone’s expectations, including yours.

Behind his desk, on a floating metal shelf, are multiple photos. One of him in military garb with his former unit. Next to that is a photo of an older couple you assume are his parents. Mounted on the wall are his degrees. There’s a NorthWestern diploma for his undergrad and then his law degree from Georgetown.

He’s incredibly proud of his history as a Marine and you wonder why he left the service. He went to school later in life than most but he’s certainly excelled. He’s roughly the same age as Sam, maybe a few years older but just as disciplined.

“Sorry I’m late.” Cole shakes his head, closing the door to his office and dropping a stack of folders onto the desk. “I had a meeting with the big guy.”

“How did it go?”

“Good,” he looks at you thoughtfully. “I think. He’s hard to get a read on.”

“That he is,” you agree.”But I think you’d know if he wasn’t happy.”

“I mean he doesn’t pull any punches but that's how I like to work. Let’s just try and not screw up, okay?”

“I’ll do my best.” You give him a little salute and he chuckles.

“We’ve got a client, it’s an intellectual property rights case and we’re representing Lavion. In fact is looks like moving forward we’re going to represent them exclusively.”

Lavoin is a tech giant, right up there with Google and Microsoft and it’s owned by none other than your biggest fan, Nick Luster. They’re still considered an up and coming company, but in a few years the talking heads expect Lavion to surpass their current competitors.

“That’s huge.” It’s a strange thing to feel excited about work, this is a first but you can’t deny how fulfilling it is to be part of a powerful team like this. “What’s our role in this?”

“There are 162 members of the legal team that are available for assignment or reassignment. Our task to determine what ten associates we’re going to assign and then oversee the case. Eventually, we’ll oversee everything, all the junior associates at least. But it starts here.”

“Holy shit,” you breathe, grinning at each other.

Your period runs like clockwork. It comes on the same day, at the same time, every month without fail. It should have started this morning, but when you checked the pantyliner during lunch it was pristine white.

There’s a sick feeling in your stomach as you double-check your calendar. You’ve never been late, not for years.

A day later you’re starting to panic but realize it’s time to man up and find out, so you head to Walgreens and pick up a two-pack of pregnancy tests, tucking them into your purse before you head to Sam’s house for the weekend.

He’s not home yet when you arrive. You lock yourself in a guest bathroom, deciding to make double sure of the results. You pee on both, then set them on the counter and set the timer on your phone.

There’s never been a longer five minutes in the history of the planet. You take this time to contemplate how little you know about Sam and how a tiny pink + sign could change the trajectory of your whole life. You don’t want children, not right now and definitely not with a guy that only confessed his feelings after you were confronted with certain death. Sam, especially in his current state, is not exactly father of the year material.

The timer on your phone sounds and you take a deep breath, shaking out your hands to release the nerves before looking.

Negative.

And a second negative.

“Fuck,” you whisper, laughing in sheer relief. “I’m such a drama queen,” you mutter to yourself, taking the tests and grabbing your phone.

You’re halfway back to the bedroom when Sam appears in the doorway, pulling the knot of his tie loose. He looks amused, smiling at you. “Where were you? I saw your purse in the kitchen…”

His voice trails off as he hones in on the tests clutched in your hand. His face drains of all color, just as panicked as you were earlier.

“Don’t worry,” you take a step toward him. “I’m not pregnant, my period is just late. I scared myself too.”

“Good,” he blinks, collecting himself. Pausing he starts to say something and then stops himself to reconsider the delivery. “I don’t want children.”

“Me either,” you agree. “Not right now, anyway.”

“Ever,” he clarifies. “You should know that, if it’s a non-negotiable for you.”

“Oh.” You’re stunned for a moment, taking in this declaration. First, it’s a pretty ballsy thing to say to your non-girlfriend girlfriend just minutes after she thought she might be pregnant. On the other hand, he’s talking about this information like he intends for your relationship to progress into the long term. “I’d prefer if you don’t use business jargon when we’re talking about personal matters. It’s not something I’ve thought much about. I’ve spent my adult life trying not to get pregnant.”

“Good,” he confirms, staring at you with uncomfortable intensity. Is this his ultimatum? A challenge? Whatever he’s trying to convey it has you on edge.

“What would you say if I told you I was pregnant?” you counter and he recoils, a grimace pulling at his lips. “You wouldn’t want me to have it, would you?”

He swallows, jaw tightening as he takes off his glasses. Taking a breath he remains collected and looks at you dead on. “It would be your choice of course, but I don’t want children.”

“Will you tell me something, Sam?” You inch closer, keeping your reaction in check. “Do you see us in a place where that would become an issue? I mean, when you think about our relationship, are we together in a year? Five years? What does the future look like for you.”

“I don’t deal in hypotheticals,” he quips dryly, suiting up in his emotional armor.

“We’re not wheeling and dealing in anything. We’re talking like two people who care about each other. I’d like you to answer my question.”

“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, rolling his eyes and turning to walk back into the bedroom. You’re about to really let him have it for walking away but he sits down in the modern, upholstered chair tucked into the corner. “If I’m lucky, which I doubt will happen because the universe fucking hates Winchesters, but if I’m lucky in five years you’re still with me. Maybe we’re living together. But if you really want to know what we look like in the future, I’ll tell you what’s going to happen. You’ll be as far away from me as you can get. I’ll hurt you. I’ll make you regret that you ever gave me a chance. You’ll move on to find a happy life with some accountant from Idaho who thinks he’s won the lottery.”

“That’s bleak,” you respond immediately. This isn’t the first time he’s expressed his belief that he’s going to drive you away. “You know what I think? It’s an excuse for your shitty, closed off behavior. If you keep saying in the end you’re going to make me hate you, it’s just a self-fulfilling prophecy when it happens. You get to act like a dick, refuse to open up and when I leave, well fuck, you’ve known it would happen all along. Stop being such a coward and let me in. You’re using this bullshit premonition of our inevitable demise as a reason to not let me know you.”

His nostrils flare out, eyes narrowing. He hates being called out, but you’re not done yet.

“Maybe I will want to have a baby one day, but I can’t make that decision right now. I can’t even start to think about that because we’re still learning how to become us. I want to know you, to fall in love with you, hell maybe I already am in some twisted way, but I don’t know that yet. Maybe we’ll hate each in other in five years, but there’s also a chance that we really fucking enjoy each other too. Maybe we get married and adopt a dog. My point is I don’t fucking know what’s going to happen and you don’t either. So stop acting like you can see the future and just open up a little and be here with me. Show up now, Sam. I’m waiting for you, I want you. All you have to do is try.”

He’s silent, his jaw set with each hand resting on either thigh. His eye twitches, mouth pulling in discomfort.

“I think about you all the time.” He delivers this as if he’s making a weighty confession of some tawdry affair. “It’s been hard for me...for a long time...to concentrate on anything good in life. In my experience, the things I care about always have an expiration date. I don’t deal with loss well. The more I care about you, the greater that loss will be for me.”

“Sam,” you walk over to him, kneeing your way onto his lap. His hands slide over your hips as you look down at him. “What if there is no expiration date? What if you don’t lose me? You are the only one running away.”

“I’m not good at this,” he snorts, thumbs sinking into the meat of your waist.

“Well, lucky for you that isn’t news to me.” You pat his chest, looking over this handsome face you know all too well. “We should go on a date. Like a normal, real people date.”

“A date?” He raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know, dinner and a show or something normal.”

“What if someone sees us?”

“Well,” you shrug. “We can’t hide in the shadows if we want to move forward. I’m not ready to shout it from the mountain tops that I’m sleeping with my boss’s boss. I’d be happy for everyone to know that I’m with you, it’s the assumptions people will make that give me pause. But this is more important than my ego. If people find out, they find out.”

“I’ll make a reservation,” he shrugs.

“Good,” you nod, leaning down to kiss him, but pull back before your lips meet. “There’s actually one more thing I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Pepper!” Sam calls through the open doors of his office.

He normally uses the intercom; when he hollers it means she’s about to get it. Pepper scrambles out of her chair and into his office, pulling her blouse into place. He sees her as an extension of him and when she looks less than put together he lets her know.

“I’m here,” she stands up straight, hands clasped together.

Sam’s standing in the middle of the room with both hands in his pockets. Never a good sign when he’s out of his seat. It means he’s got energy, something has riled him and she takes the brunt of his mood swings.

He stares right through her, eyes narrowing, the two of them locked in silence.

“It’s been brought to my attention that you had quite a conversation with Y/N.”

This statement sends her heart into her stomach. You bitch. You said you wouldn’t tell him but she should have known better.

“Y-yes,” Pepper stammers.

“I’ve also been advised that you feel you’re more qualified than Y/N for the position under Cole Trenton.” He lifts an eyebrow awaiting her answer.

She’s not normally a crier but life has been harder than usual lately.

Pepper feels like she might throw up. She’ll never forgive you for this. A single tear falls down her cheek but she wipes it away immediately. He hates it when people cry and she doesn’t want to make this worse.

“I-I said something I didn’t truly mean,” she offers, voice wavering. “I’m sorry. I should never have said anything.”

“No,” he shakes his head, walking leisurely back behind his desk. “You shouldn’t have.”

Here it comes. She closes her eyes and prepares for one of his monologues on her many failings and her impending termination.

“There are two reasons that you aren’t a fit for that position.” He sits down in his chair, leaning back and resting a forearm on the desk. “One, no one wants to work with you. Even if you and Cole worked well together, I needed someone that people like. Someone people will talk to. It’s a liaison position, I can’t have a person in that role who’s burnt as many bridges as you have.”

“I understand,” Pepper whispers, staring at the carpet.

“Look at me, not the floor,” he snaps. Pepper gulps, clearing her throat as she lifts her chin. “The second reason is that I need you. No one else is capable of doing what you do. You balance my schedule, you understand the differing levels of importance when it comes to people, meetings, and tasks. You’ve managed to work directly for me for years without cracking. I trust you and the number of people I trust I can count on one hand. You are invaluable to me.”

She’s stunned, she stands there staring at him, no longer shaking but in complete shock. He doesn’t offer praise, especially not to her.

Sam taps a file on his desk.

“Your mother’s been sick.” He’s not looking for confirmation. He already knows the details. “Now your brother has been injured.”

Her mother’s been sick for a while, slowly dying a painful death in a hospital bed in Ohio with no insurance. Her brother, Dan, went to check on their mother every day. But last week he was in a car accident, he’s in intensive care.

Now it’s just her.

“Yes,” she stares at him, wondering where this is going.

“Do you need to go home?”

“I...I don’t know.”

“You should go.” He waves his hand at her. “When you’re at work I need you to be on your game. If that means you need to handle what’s happening with your family, then go and take care of it. Be with your family and come back when you’re ready.”

“My mom, um,” she wipes her eyes again. “I was waiting until she was closer to the end to ask for a leave. It could be a month, maybe longer.”

“I understand that.” Sam stares at her, emotionless and stoic. “Find a suitable replacement that won’t turn my life upside down. Take as long as you need.”

“Thank you,” she whispers, already backing out of the room before he changes his mind.

“Don’t thank me. It’s selfish. I need you long term. When you get back we can discuss your salary.”

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fanfiction #control and release #Sam Winchester Fanfic

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bedbellyandbeyond · 5 years

Photo

Nathan’s Appointment

“Nathan Cassidy…” Sydryn tapped the edge of their lip with a pen. “You’re still a pretty new patient. I think you’ve known Dr. Gardi longer than me at this point.” “Yeah. I heard he’s sick. Is he okay?” “He’s recovering,” Sydryn stated, a little irritated that every patient had asked the same despite having sent out an email on the matter. “A lot has happened with you since I left, it seems. While I am not too surprised, I didn’t expect you to get pregnant.” “Yeah.” Nathan rubbed his neck. “Apparently my wolf side is female…” “Yes, I’ve been reviewing your case this last couple days,” Sydryn explained. “Yours is the most curious I have. A lot of theory, not a lot of fact.” They pulled out a USB drive and plugged it into a computer. “Luckily, I’ve been able to do some research while I was away on the nature of werewolves and were-beasts in general and we can get some facts for you.” “You did research on me during your vacation?” Nathan inquired. “You shouldn’t have…”

“It wasn’t a vacation. To be general, I went home for a family event,” Sydryn stated. “And none of us can stand each other, so I spent a good amount of time on research, not just for your sake.” “Oh. Okay, I get that…” Nathan nodded. “What’d you find out?” “Well, the documentation of half human half animals dates well back before common era,” Sydryn stated. “The thing is there’s many ‘legendary’ creatures known to have been half animal and man, such as the minotaur, some gods like Anubis, some spirits, like kitsune, but specifically wolves… The earliest record of a person turning into a wolf is in the epic of Gilgamesh, in which a woman had turned her ex lover into a wolf. There are other cases in ancient Greek and Nordic folklore, but this seems to be the story most like yours.” “But, these are just stories, right?” Nathan assumed. “Not history?” Sydryn rolled their eyes. “…Nathan, I’m a dragon.” “A dragon?!” Nathan stared at his doctor. “You’re not serious.” “I couldn’t be more serious,” Sydryn stated, letting their horns spring out their head. “History is stories. That’s entirely the point. Much of what we think is fact is fiction. Much of fiction is fact. To dismiss any record as a story would to foolish and naïve. To believe every single record would also be naïve. Thankfully I have spent multiple centuries on the Earth and I can sniff out a fib from a truth pretty well. Not to mention, we have kept our own records on mankind and otherwise, and thankfully, I do believe that this Gilgamesh story is related to your origin.” Nathan was still staring at Sydryn’s horns. “Jesus…” “Has very little to do with it.” Sydryn took a look through their records. “We prefer to call our records ‘the Chronicle’ instead of history considering that the term ‘history’ derives from the word ‘histor’ which means ‘learned, wise man’ considering the fact that we are not men, but dragons. So the Chronicle… I was not born by the time of Gilgamesh, but my ancestors were and they recorded the same findings within the Chronicle on this wolf. So, what I assumed was this. The lover the woman changed into a wolf is the origin of your affliction.” “A Mesopotamian wolfman?” Nathan tried to follow. “Yes. However, after going over Reid’s research notes here, I believe I was wrong,” Sydryn stated. “Oh.” Nathan was disheartened. “The only reason I would change this conclusion is the following,” Sydryn began. “Most if not all recordings of wolfmen have been just that. Men. But this bear mate you encountered, Dawson Grace, alleges that the women are the werewolves, or more originally wifwolves, and they only intend to recruit women. “With this information, I wondered if werewolves and wifwolves exist separately from each other with different origins. But then there’s the information Grace provided. That the transformation makes men more aggressive than women and less likely to remember their transformations. Considering most records of werewolves are men, this would make sense. If women have control of themselves as wolves, they’d do better to conceal their existence. Men wouldn’t be so lucky and would be more likely to be seen and recorded. Which leads me to the conclusion that the woman in the Gilgamesh story who turned her lover into a wolf is the true origin of the werewolf, not the lover.” “I see…” Nathan nodded. “Okay, okay, but how does that help me?” It helps a lot,” Sydryn stated. “That woman was known as the goddess Ishtar. We know little about her, but if a god did this to you, then only a god can undo it.” “A god?” Nathan leaned back. “I uh, I don’t know any gods.” “Except that you do,” Sydryn said. “Gardi’s recorded that you’ve been attending a pregnancy group here attended by a dog spirit.” “Yori?” Nathan blinked. “Yori’s a god?” “I am led to believe as much,” Sydryn stated. “Or at least enough like a god to be considered one by an early developing civilisation.” Nathan leaned forward. “…Are you suggesting that he could be…her?” Sydryn shook their head slowly. “…Not quite. Perhaps, but he doesn’t quite match up. But, he might know something about your condition,” Sydryn said. “Dealing with his kind though is very troubling when you want answers. Gods, spirits, such… They like to stay mysterious. They’re not a fan of straight answers. I would suggest befriending him and he may reveal to you something useful.” Nathan frowned and looked down. “…That’s it then? Your lead is ‘hang out with Yori’?” “At the moment yes. That’s what I have for you.” “Any chance I can see any of that research?” Nathan asked. Sydryn tapped their chin and turned to the computer. “…I will allow you some records from the Chronicle that pertain to your case. How good are you at reading cuneiform?” “…Uh, I’m a little out of practice.” Sydryn raised a manicured finger. “Give me some time to make some translations and I will deliver you copies to your room. You may not share any of it with anyone, not even your new lover.” “My…Uh, I don't…” “Nathan, it’s not worth lying to me. I know you and the thunder boy have been courting each other. You reek of it.” “We haven’t even had sex…” “I know. You should just do it and get it over with honestly. If you’re worried about him not being attracted to your naked body, I can assure you he won’t be.” “Uh, um…” Nathan blushed, feeling really embarrassed. “You don’t have to reply.” Sydryn stood up and looked over Nathan, taking a moment to feel his ears and check his scars. “Open your mouth.” They checked his canines. “Good. It appears your permanent transformations haven’t progressed any further since I last saw you. You’re good to go if you don’t have any questions.” “You’re not going to check my pregnancy?” Nathan asked. “No, your previous check up was recently enough,” Sydryn stated. “But that does bring up another thing. We’re going to move your Cesarean up to…” They checked their calendar. “Monday. It wouldn’t be safe to delay it any longer.” “Monday? That’s in four days!” Nathan was a little shocked. “Will they be okay? Not too premature?” “You’ve been in wolf cycle for two days and your wolf has been observed preparing for the birth. The twins should be alright, but we don’t exactly know what to expect, do we?” Sydryn said. “Werewolf births are rarely recorded in the Chronicle but they’re there. Problem is the bear cub you’ve got as well. That’s where I’m concerned. By bear standards, they should have been born already so we don’t know what effect this extended gestation will have on them.” Nathan looked down to his stomach and rubbed it slowly. “…Okay. You’re going to perform the surgery?” “Yes.” “How many hundreds of years have you been a doctor?” “Hm… About a century and a half,” Sydryn said. “Not a long time but we had to go in hiding around the time of the age of exploration.” “Okay…” Nathan felt a little reassured. “Monday.” “Monday. I’ll send you the time. Anything else I can help you with?” “No, I think that’s all…” Nathan got up and held the underside of his stomach. “Anything I need to do to prepare?” “I’ll send Aoife to your room to go over some preparations. It’s not so much personal upkeep you need to be aware of than personal preferences,” Sydryn explained. “Okay. Thank you…” Sydryn saw how nervous Nathan was and put a hand on his shoulder. “I can understand that you might feel a little scared. Changing doctors mid pregnancy can be scary. Dr. Gardi was doing a pretty good job with you. Compared to him, I’ve been told I can be a little blunt or cold. Especially recently. But I still have your best interest in mind.” “Yeah, thanks, doc.” Nathan nodded and smiled a bit. “I’m pretty scared.” “Everyone’s scared. It’s natural. You can’t survive without fear. Those without fear are fools.” Nathan nodded some more. “Okay. I’m gonna go.” “Alright. Eat more meat.” “Okay.”

#lore #Nathan #Sydryn #werewolf #dragon #mpreg #mpreg belly

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thepilotanon · 4 years

Text

Prelude xxi

...to the forever promise {masterlist}

Heyyy everyone! I’m so sorry this has taken such a long time. I have been very busy with life, so I apologize for the delay of this chapter. But, good news, we only have one more until it’s over!! Thank you everyone who has been patient with me, and I can’t wait to see what you all think of this - it’s a very, very long chapter, so please let me know what you thought! As well, despite the last film having been released, I’m still going to write stuff for Kylo.

warning: none!

“Constructing lightsabers have been an ancient custom for whoever is gifted with the Force, and thus should be taken into consideration that this marks the next step of your place among the First Order - among my ranks, which is a great honor for you.”

Never had the Supreme Leader spoken those kinds of words to Kylo Ren, even as he stood beside the stairs leading up to the throne, where the humanoid sat and watched fondly to the woman down bellow. She wasn’t focused on Snoke, however, and more on the many nuts and bolts, metal material and wires scattered around on the black-polished floor. With little twists of her fingers and eyes hazed over in concentration, the numerous materials floated around either of the Kyber rocks resting on each of her palms. Nova was completely ignoring Snoke’s speech, and Kylo kept his eyes locked on her form just sitting there, minding her own business as she worked.

When Nova revealed her findings of being attracted to two Kyber crystals, Kylo felt a large swell of pride in his chest as his lover held them out to him, excited and eager to try and construct the hilt - or hilts - depending on what she could create with everything that was given to her. Seeing her wrapped in the assorted blankets and sheets, topped with his thick cape around her shoulders, Kylo praised her with tender kisses and proud words of how wonderful she did on her own - albeit him still being scared beyond belief during the time of their separation. There was a lot worth celebrating, and both Kylo and Nova enjoyed their time before lifting off.

But...as soon as she returned to the Supremacy, cleaned of their events and getting rid of any evidence of their coupling, Nova wasn’t excited in showing her findings to the Supreme Leader. Despite his eerie grin and curling his fingers under her chin to force eye contact, to congratulate her, Nova immediately became that closed-off, emotionless being that she fronts to Snoke ever since that first day. For Kylo, he was glad that Nova was able to hide the littlest twist of her hips and staggered steps that they both noticed during their rest.

No matter how gentle his massaged her pelvic area and asked if she was in any sort of discomfort or pain at all, she remained completely passive and happy with her current condition, not at all worried. He had her walk around the shuttle, just to be sure she wasn’t obviously limping or showing signs in similar ways for some other women who were more active, and saw that it wasn’t connected. Thankfully, seeing her only shifting in her spot when she wanted to see a piece amongst the pile, the Supreme Leader didn’t seem to notice any discomfort or change in the woman. By the sight of her being her usual, curious self with all the new materials given to her, she appeared to be just her usual (although rather tempered) self around everyone else. Kylo was thankful of how powerful Nova’s Force wall was, too.

As of now, Kylo can only wait until they returned to their chambers. However, he was much more entranced by the how lovely she looked in the spacious lighting with the stars twinking from the window behind her, her eyes focused on the tiny pieces coming together with just a twitch of her fingers, a turn of her wrists. Whenever a piece didn’t click together like she wanted, her lips formed a small pout as she attempted to redirect it a different way. She was so focused and being so careful with the materials provided to her, it was obvious how both Kylo and Snoke were surprised by her intense display of concentration and determination to build.

Lifting the two little rocks from her palms, Nova used the Force to slip the colorless minerals into the tiniest crack left from the puzzle pieces of nuts, plates and bolts. The last of the flat, metal plates slid and lock into place before dropping to each of her hands with a sort of childish triumph. Nova grinned, unlacing her legs and dropping her feet flat on the polished floor while looking at the two hilts with curious, amused eyes.

Seeing her observe her own creations, Snoke leaned back in his throne with a sort of relief. “A lightsaber made from the Kyber rock the Force-user has found on their own, this symbolizes a rite of passage to becoming even more stronger than anyone else,” he mentioned while Nova got to her feet. Seeing her test the weight of the hilts in each hand and finding that comfortable grip to hold it properly - just the same way Kylo demonstrated with his own lightsaber for her, the Supreme Leader stared with a smirk.

“And being drawn to two Kyber crystals, purely rare, but not unwelcome when it comes from you, young one,” Snoke added casually, his tone laced with his own amusement that didn’t go unnoticed by the two apprentices.

“Nova,” Snoke beckoned both apprentices’ attention to him as he focused on the young woman, “present yourself as an official apprentice to the Supreme Leader, and claim your rightful place by my side in the First Order.”

She only returned a simple blink. No emotion, no praise or beaming smiles directed towards Snoke, like she would with Kylo. Glancing back to the lightsaber hilts in her hands, Nova focused her energy to ignite the blades. Since it seems that she didn’t construct a casual switch on the outside of the plate, Kylo could see that she took notes from the encyclopedia book he let her see; should anyone get ahold on her ‘saber, they would at least have to have abilities with the Force to use it. Kylo felt proud behind the concealment of his helmet with the little tricks and notes she made while studying.

A flicker of just a pinch of her power, the blades ignited with its first spark with a rather joyous attitude - as if the Kyber crystals inside were just itching to come out. Dazzling silver sparked through the portholes of the hilt, perfectly coordinated in a straight line while Nova’s grip tightened from the surprising noise erupting from her new ‘sabers. A soft noise slipped from her, signaling her own amusement to the beautiful silver and white blending perfectly together in unison.

Kylo was also impressed by the brilliant glow, but one, lone creature didn’t seem to pleased by the contrast to the dark tiles and dark universe outside of the large glass windows.

“How plain,” Snoke drawled with a frown. “Silver-white is just so empty in general, I don’t doubt it comes from how you lack anything in your head. Your crystals must respond from your thoughts in general. This is disappointing; I was hoping for something more rare from you, but I suppose it will make due until we can have another one made.”

“I like them!” the woman protested with strong confidence, giving the Supreme Leader a shrug. “I don’t want another one.”

Snoke tilt his head, eyeing Nova with a stern glare while she gave each lightsaber a testing twirl of her wrists, one at a time. “When you encounter an enemy, you would want them to feel intimidated, realizing that the person who has appeared to battle them is someone to be reckoned with; red is most commonly associated with those who hold great power and bring fear.”

“When you encounter an enemy,” Nova replied easily, “the way you fight and have an advantage of skill and experience are much more impactful, over simple things, like appearances or what color your weapons are.”

When Snoke didn’t respond, Nova only then offered him a smile while she deactivated her lightsabers, bringing them to her chest as a sure promise that she is indeed keeping them. “Not to question from your own experiences, Snoke, but I think these lightsabers, from the Kyber crystals that I was called to, will suffice until I say so.”

Kylo watched with all stillness within him, between the two, unsure of what to do or what was going to happen, if he needed to shield Nova. Slowly, Snoke’s whole body seemed to relax, considering her words carefully with a thoughtful stare. Long fingers drum along his armrest, the Supreme Leader leaned back against the thick cushioning of his throne, pale eyes darting away from the young woman to look out to the vast scenery of stars and distant planets. Kylo watched with a drawn line to his lips as the half-humanoid reached to lightly scratch at one of the many tendons stretching along his irregular neck. Seeming to be now bored with the presence and voices beside his own, Snoke closed his eyes and waved his hand with a bored pace.

“So be it, if that is what seems befitting for you, young Nova.”

xxx.

As such, as same as it was when Nova held Kylo’s lightsaber so long ago, Nova was just as strong and powerful wielding her own - if not more with a weapon fashioned to fit her perfectly.

Whether it was with one or two lightsabers, as the Supreme Leader would command that she would use however many, Nova seemed to have it down to the last detail of aiming to destroy every training droid provided as well as knock any opponent unconscious. Even with Snoke giving her direct orders to slay her living sparring partners, she simply would ignore him and claim her win by pinning them with her abilities. Kylo never reprimanded Nova over that, even in the safety of their quarters. Kylo knew her morals compared to his own among the First Order, especially if she can teach her sparring partner how to learn from their mistakes. Even when Snoke had Kylo and Nova spar against each other, it would normally come out to a draw, or go too long for the Supreme Leader’s liking to seek out a winner. They promised each other not to hold back, when fighting against each other, so long as they promise to help tend to each other’s bruises and burns with affection.

Whenever they would return, Kylo would take her hands in both of his and bring them to his mouth. Pressing kisses to each of her palms, each finger, he would look deep in her eyes and whisper, “You did well today.” Nova’s only response would just be a glittering smile before slipping her hands around the back of his head and neck, then pulling him down for a kiss that spoke the same sentiment, and more.

There were times when it wasn’t as such. Training had gone too long and too hard for either of them, and it takes to walking through the threshold to finally break down and expose their worst selves that they hide from everyone else. A mission Kylo was sent to deal in the Supreme Leader’s place had gone wrong, and it was the said instructor who placed all the blame to his first apprentice for his lack of planning. Nova was emotionally strained by Snoke’s constant pressure of her origins and bleeding bad memories of her old life during meditations, in the meantime of waiting for Kylo to return. Both of them worn down to the point that they just lie on the cold ground of either one’s quarters, and Kylo found himself reaching to check if her pulse was calming down at all, despite his body hating the motion. They both suffered together, yes, but there were still many times that they had separate training sessions with the Supreme Leader, and it was always a reopened wound. To them, no matter how bad it would be, bruises and bleeding and crying, they had comfort with one another...

Sometimes - just sometimes - Kylo Ren will have days where he just can’t take seeing another face or be around others who don’t understand how he needed some sort of comfort.

As soon as Kylo was dismissed, he marched into his quarters. Inside, without even needing to check, he knew Nova was waiting for him - having been training the Knights and doing her own sort of schedule that day, while Kylo was at Snoke’s beck and call since he awoke that cycle. Their morning departure was quick, but Nova made sure to assure him through their wall that she will wait for him to come home.

As promised, Nova was waiting on her toes, hopping a little bit, as she was ready to practically pounce onto Kylo’s arms as soon as he walked in. Taking the first steps towards his towering form, ready to welcome him back, Nova stopped when she sensed the immediate negative emotions building up underneath all those layers of armor and his heavy mask.

Frowning, Nova approached him and kept her gaze locked up to his hidden face beneath the dark shield. Raising her hands, she waited patiently to be granted permission. Once Kylo tilt his helmet more towards her way, she hooked her thumbs under each side, causing it to hiss to properly unlock, carefully lifting it off his head. Thick, dark locks spilled and tired, sad eyes stared back to her sparkling ones; his jaw tense and teeth grinding, his breathing was at a proper pace, yet held a sort of stiffness of holding back on the inside. Brows narrowed, Kylo was as tight and taut as a freshly woven basket and glued together with the strongest of material. He was sweaty from training and punishment, tired, yet completely alert to everything, despite being hidden from the rest of the galaxy. He can’t hide anything from her, and he didn’t want to.

Setting the helmet aside, the woman then undid the hard clasp of his cloak, allowing it to fall to the ground before taking his hands to remove his gloves. When she finished with that, Nova then leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him and buried her face into his clothed chest. Inhaling the scent of metal, sweat and warmed leather, she pushed through the Force to expand her wall, allowing Kylo to feel it grow thicker and stronger over them both, like a blanket. Closing her eyes, Nova nuzzled into him and listened to his heartbeat.

“Please,” she whispered, voice soft and sweet and vibrating into his bones like a sweet relief, “can you show me?”

Closing his eyes, Kylo willingly showed her what started the weight on his shoulders, when Snoke criticized his planning for a future mission and going over maps and locations. Tangling his naked hands through her fingers and holding on, Kylo showed her his intended plan to take the Knights and a small squadron of Stormtroopers through a specific route, only to be slammed by Snoke with the Force to the floor, being called a thousand and one names of stupidity and how it was a direct walk to their deaths by hidden dugouts...that was never mentioned on the map to begin with. An instant failure and mockery towards the First Order. Afterwards, Snoke pushed and pushed him through vigorous training beyond the point of straining his muscles and nerves to set on fire, nearing to the point of collapsing from exhaustion. Every word hanging over his head like fireworks, sparking another layer-after-layer of hatred for himself, echoing constantly.

Nova could feel every bit of pain and internal displeasure of himself; over everything he hasn’t even done, but it was all set in stone by the Supreme Leader instead, taking over Kylo’s conscience.

She didn’t like that one bit.

Everything was becoming too much for him. He felt worthless outside of his quarters, and he was sick of it. Leaning back and reaching with his hand, he tilt her chin up, his thumb tracing her bottom lip. “Will you tell me about your day?” His voice was quiet, yet their close proximity had Nova feel it under her skin. “From the very beginning, everything.”

Nova leaned into his clammy palm, cuddling into it. “Yes.” She tugged on his thick-padded top and gave him a soft smile. “In the bath?”

Hot, scented water and his lover’s hands massaging his scalp, Kylo wanted nothing more than to freeze time and remain melted in the tub. The shampoo smelled herbal with a hint of fruitiness, making his eyelids feel heavy and the sound of Nova speaking to him helped him feel at ease. Her hands touched the spots where Snoke hit him on the head and pushed headaches, her fingers caress the back of his neck and shoulders to remove the suds, and he pressed himself further to her touch. She practically erased every discomfort with a simple touch.

“I learned about the planet called Endor, while I was waiting for you,” she said with a rather proud voice, and Kylo knew she was. She always felt a swell of joy and achievement in learning something new, and Kylo always praised her when she discovered something new. For her to try and go further into her own knowledge about the galaxy is still a lot for her to take in, but Kylo adored her dedication and joy of discovery. “The main planet itself is uninhabitable, but, from what I read, the moons are known to contain life! They have forests on the moons. There’s one called Sistermoon, and Endor’s Forest Moon, which I don’t...understand why they don’t call that Endor you can live on that.”

“They also call Endor’s Forest Moon Endor, as well,” he responded with an amused hum. “Either one, majority of people will know which one you’re talking about, my love.”

“Oh!” Discovering this new-new information, Nova smiled and helped Kylo rinse his hair. “Well then, I also learned about the creatures that live on Endor, called Ewoks. They’re the majority of the planet’s civil population. They’re apparently short, yet fierce and rarely fear anything to survive.”

Kylo hummed, turning in the tub and carefully taking hold of her with gentle hands. Bringing her closer to him within the steaming water, he brought her to sit on his lap and held her face within his large hands. She smiled bigger, holding his wrists when she booped her nose against his for a moment.

“I would like to see Endor,” she told him honestly. “Someday, maybe, and maybe meet an Ewok and see how they live naturally. It would be interesting to learn how they survived for so long with much bigger predators.”

“They’re not as bright, but they are smart enough to survive.” Seeing how her eyes brightened, the corner of his lips twitched upward as he leaned back against the tub, letting her tangle their fingers and press their palms together. “Fuzzy little demons, really hold no mercy towards anyone or anything they’re not familiar with; they will certainly try to see if you’re something edible, or to be feared.”

“You’ve seen them?”

Kylo swallowed and looked down to the water between them, unsure of how to go on with the conversation taking a direction he didn’t want to go. Feeling his lover’s hands squeeze his lightly, Kylo wasn’t expecting her to tuck herself under his chin and press little kisses to his throat before nuzzling against him.

“Maybe we can see them together, when we’re not busy someday, and we’re next to the planet.” Her voice was gentle, refusing to push him to look back to his memories of him as a child, his parents bringing him to to meet a particular fuzzball named Wicket and his family - all while Snoke’s taunts echoed in the back of his mind of how weak-minded he was.

Nova’s lips pressed to his pulse, and Kylo stroked his wet fingertips against the short strands at the nape of her neck, where the rest of her hair was tied up to avoid getting wet. “Someday?”

Closing his eyes, he thought about the idea of his Nova trying to communicate with an Ewok, more than likely wanting to hold their spears. The idea of it made him cough a small laugh. “Yes, we can do that,” he agreed. “Someday.”

“I’ve worked with many spears and more primitive-type weapons,” she went on, “but I would find it more honorable to meet one of them, and then be given permission to hold it. They seem to be very proud of their creations, like they can do anything together. What do you think?”

Nodding, Kylo let her run one of her hands up and down his naked chest, freshly washed and finally calmed down with just a simple bath and letting her speak to him. Leaning down, he caught her lips with his own and kissed her slowly. Taking the time to move, to taste each other with the thanks of the humidity from the steam and the scented oils of the bathwater, they both parted with a soft sighs. Nova appeared in a happy daze from long kisses, eyes closed and a sleepy smile on her face while he wrapped his arms around her naked form. A quick, soft kiss to her shoulder, Kylo rest his head on the same spot and exhaled long and deep.

“I think you’re right.”

xxx.

Waking up before the holoclock were to go off, Kylo reached over with one arm to switch the alarm off before it could make any noise within the next minute, then rolled over. Dragging the same arm over with sluggish effort, he wrapped the limb around the blanketed body curled underneath, burying his nose into Nova’s hair and sighing heavily. Feeling her body shift underneath the blanket, Kylo did his best to keep her within his embrace once she turned around to face him. Hearing her sniff and nuzzle her way into a warm pocket underneath his chin, he slowly stroked her back with his thumb. They both really enjoyed the warmth they create together in the otherwise chilly bedchamber.

She spoke in a very quiet voice, still lined with sleepiness, with an excited wiggle. “Is it time to get up?”

“In a little while,” he responded, sinking further into the bed and bringing her along. “We’re not needed until mid-cycle.”

Feeling her hips rock and a warm palm press against his naked chest, Kylo rolled to his back and allowed Nova to crawl up to straddle him. He made sure the blanket didn’t fall off her body, so she remained warm, his hands keeping her steady and sliding his thumbs under her night shirt to caress her skin affectionately.

Sitting with a straight back, Nova gave him a gentle smile. “I’m excited,” she told him matter-of-factly, her little hands coming to rest on his forearms while he took a deep breath, a very small smile on his face. “I’m very excited.”

“I know,” Kylo responded much more softly, his hands rising up to trace the curves of her side and the faint scars around her ribs. “I’m excited, too. But, you need to remember, it’s still too early to be up and roaming around for a mission.”

This made her wrinkle her nose a bit, but smile bigger. “I know.” Relaxing a bit, the woman leaned forward and propped her chin on the back of her hand, her eyes shimmering from the lights of distant stars while gazing at him sweetly. “Do you think they will care about how we’re dressed? I don’t think it matters much, does it? But, there are also so many other kinds…so much in the galaxy. It’s all different and overwhelming.”

Kylo leisurely stroked her spine, yawning before answering her. “Would you prefer not to go?” he asked, a hint of teasing that she instantly caught. He didn’t bother to hide his smallest smirk when he raised her head to look at him. “Based on the fact that you’re unsure of how you’re dressed.”

Grasping his head to keep him still, Nova bit down in the skin that connected between his neck and shoulder. She could feel the vibrations of his chuckle and his big, warm hands sliding down to grab her bottom and suddenly rolling them over so he was on top. Nova threw her head back against a pillow to try and hide her laughter. With her pressed against the mattress, she felt giddy when Kylo pushed his nose and mouth against her pulse on her neck, tickling her with nuzzles and kisses and soft bites. Wrapping her arms around him, Nova made herself small in his hold and soaked in his warmth. Hands tangled in his hair, she sighed and relaxed in his hold while he did all the work to have her submit to him.

“I want to go,” she told him, voice soft. “I want to go right now, and see it all.”

Kissing under her jaw, Kylo hummed against her softly, resting all his weight on her in a sort of comfort that kept her stable from her excitement. “You will, I promise. You just need to be patient and wait for the rest of the crew to come up and ready to go. Remember, this is a usual search-and-retrieve mission.”

“Do not tell me you’re not excited, too,” she mumbled, leaning her head against his and closing her eyes. One of his big hands detangled hers out of his hair and laced their fingers against the pillow, and he turned his head to press his nose to her cheek, kissing the spot a few times. “You want to go as much as I do, Kylo.”

“Yes, but I know how to maintain patience.”

Nova hummed softly, squeezing her hold on his hand while the other slipped to his naked back. There was a thick layer of bacta glued to his back, stretching from the curve of his shoulder and down the side of his spine; gentle fingertips touched the bruised skin beside the material, stroking his lower ribs.

“Does it hurt?” she asked.

Kylo took a deep breath. “It’s nothing.”

“Are you sure -?” Caught off by him pulling her into a kiss, Nova made a soft noise of disappointment when he pulled back and sat up from the bed. Watching him leave the bed and approaching his closet to pull out his usual armor from their orderly place, Nova wrapped herself with the dark blanket and sat up.

Seeing him put on his undershirt on first, Nova blew air into her cheeks when he covered his back and bacta patches from her view. She knew how he obtained the wound from Snoke, and how it was uncomfortable for him to relax on his back for a good long while - even trying to bend forward or back was a hassle. The new weaponry given to the Praetorian Guards, gifted by Snoke and his personal craftsmen experimenting with plasma blades, were new to everyone. Letting Nova have firsthand to inspect and decide how they would play out, Snoke then pushed Kylo into the fighting pit for a test run before she could even suggest anything to reduce any physical harm…

Kylo came out victorious, winning with his life and a new wound to heal into a faded scar.

“Nova.”

Getting up from the bed, Nova stood with the blanket wrapped around her shoulders as he approached. Allowing him to hold her face with both hands, Nova looked up to meet his gaze with a small smile on her lips. Resting his forehead to hers, he showed her how he was relaxed on the inside, that the wound was no longer bothering him in the slightest, thanks to the bacta patch she generously placed on him.

“It’s nothing,” he whispered, his voice holding so much more emotion than his face could expose. She looked further through the Force, just to make sure, and this action caused him to chuckle under his breath.

“It’s nothing,” she agreed, earning her a kiss. “But you will tell me, if it is?”

“Of course.” A pinch of a smirk on his lips, Kylo flicked a stand of her hair out of her forehead. “Besides, I could never hide anything from you, even if I tried, and you know that. You’re too powerful for me to hide anything.”

“I’m not powerful.” she rebuked with a flushed expression, her eyes watering for a moment and pushing herself to hide her face into his pectorals. Letting him hold her close and press his mouth to her hair, Nova closed her eyes and hugged him back tightly. “But, you can’t hide anything.”

“No, I can’t. Not from you,” he murmured to her and she felt herself warm under her skin. She was blushing, and he knew it. Kylo was finding this entirely amusing, teasing her, and she bit him through the thin material of his undershirt, right on his chest. He chuckled and gently took hold of her face in one of his big hands and lifted her gaze up to him, forcing eye contact until she smiled from the silly situation.

He kissed between her brows before letting her go. “Go on and get ready. I’ll see you in a while.”

Nova didn’t take long to get ready, dressing herself along with a cowl and coat (as per instruction from both Kylo and the Supreme Leader), she did her braid perfectly and took off out of the secluded quarter hall to catch BB-9E and another droid rolling by, instantly getting her attention as she turned her body completely around and kept up the pace in a single line with the two rolling robots. She greeted the usual officers who strode past her in the early morning of the cycle, until nearly tripping over the specific droid Phasma worked alongside with.

BB-9E blipped and whirred, turning its head around, allowing the other droid to continue on while Nova gave it a bright smile. “Hi, Niney,” she greeted, crouching down in the middle of the hallway to its level. “How are you doing today?”

The droid made a low hum before doing a few circles around her crouched form before properly responding. None of the officers passing by gave her a second glance, so used to her speaking to that particular BB unit. “Yes, I have a mission today; I’m going to be going with Kylo, the Knights and Phasma with a few of her ‘troopers I’ve helped train, as an extra support.” BB-9E made a few beeps and Nova nodded. “It’s to the planet of Coruscant, yes. Snoke wants us to go to a palace. I’ve never been to a palace before…”

Seeing her think more to herself for the moment, BB-9E beeped for her attention and beckoned for her to follow. It led her towards the mess hall to get something to eat before having to leave, refusing to let her leave until she grabbed a hunk of baked bread and ate half of it before being allowed - continuing to munch on the bread as she followed the droid.

“You’re not coming with?” she asked next, holding a casual conversation with a droid while a couple officers gave her a second glance with how she treated such a random astromech tool like it was an actual living being. BB-9E, despite its usual strict-to-work attitude, responded to her anyway. “That’s too bad. Maybe you can come with us someday, Niney. It would be fun to have you come along.”

BB-9E made a retort-sounding whirr that made her grin. “No, you’re fun to me. You always let me play with you and the other droids.” Another single beep. “You would be told to remain in the ship? What if we needed navigation on a planet?” A beep and a low hum. “Depends on the planet… I guess, I really don’t know much about droids. Will you explain it more to me, when I come back?”

The astromech droid made a response before rolling off to begin its duties within the hangar of the Supremacy, leaving Nova to look around the area to the mechanics starting up with their first check-ins and tune-ups ready to be worked on. Some stormtroopers where already up and about, minus the few Nova recognizes from their signatures from her lessons, Captain Phasma having them stand in a lineup all properly.

Seeing Phasma, Nova was quick to hurry over and press her hands on the Captain’s forearm, grinning excitedly. “Good morning, Phasma!” she said loud enough to let the whole hangar know she had arrived. Then, looking to the ‘troopers, Nova offered them a polite smile to them. “Good morning to you all, too. How are you all doing today?”

Knowing they weren’t going to verbally respond, Nova smiled at them again before looking to the shuttle they were to take. Seeing that it was Kylo’s command shuttle, she felt a sort of excitement of getting to get out of the Supremacy and onto a more civilized planet with people she has grown used to being around. Looking over the shuttle itself, she began wandering around the hangar, seeing the droids and mechanics finish the last pieces of the check-ins before the pilot is to take off, allowing Phasma to continue on with her routine before Kylo and the Knights to arrive.

Knowing what today is suppose to hold for her, Nova couldn’t contain the big grin to hide in the collar of her coat; getting to see a new planet that she’s only heard about from stories, and looking to people’s memories of it, and now getting to make something special for herself to keep. Perhaps, maybe, she could share her own story with trustworthy people someday, but she knew better that right now it wasn’t the right time to let too many people know regardless.

Still, remembering that this is the very same shuttle that picked her up from Bavva III, a part of her couldn’t really believe how much her own life had changed.

Reaching out to poke the sheen material of the shuttle, Nova snickered to herself when a familiar leather glove grasped her shoulder. Leaning her head back with a bright smile, she caught Kylo’s visors looking at her with a rather questionable tilt of his head.

“What are you doing?” he asked her, and she could imagine him raising his brows at her behavior.

Looking to the side to see the Knights of Ren waiting for Captain Phasma to load her squad first, Nova turned around to face him. “Do they always clean and polish your shuttle before every job you go on? I don’t see a single scratch on it, and I know this spacecraft has been on many planets that are not clean.” As if to make a point, she reached over behind her and pressed the pad of her finger on the outer wall and slid her finger a bit, causing a small squeak to erupt and her amusement to spark. “See! It’s super clean and polished. Do you request that your shuttle has to be polished after every use? Is it your favorite?”

“The shuttle is convenient to carry more supplies and people, if necessary. It doesn’t quite make it a favorite of mine,” he explained simply, only because she asked him. “You should get onboard, so we can go on ahead and leave.”

Nova’s eyes narrowed playfully as she let Kylo gently guide by her shoulder towards the loading ramp. “You still didn’t answer my question, if they have to clean and shine your shuttle every time you use it.”

Within his helmet, Kylo smirked and rolled his eyes. He urged her once more to go and join the Knights and Phasma. Snickering, she followed his silent instruction, allowing him to escort her the couple feet over. “I’ll have to let you know, when the time is more appropriate for this conversation, Nova,” he told her. With a little, gentle nudge to her lower back, he waited until she mounted the ramp at the sight of Phasma’s chrome plating. “And, now is not the proper time.”

“Yeah, I know,” she hummed with a roll of her eyes, jumping onto the ledge of the threshold. “But you promise you’ll answer later.”

Kylo knew he didn’t really have a choice in the matter, allowing the shuttle door to close in time for Nova to take her seat right next to Phasma, chatting away, and make his own quick pace to the cockpit to take-off from the hangar and in the direction of the illuminated planet.

xxx.

The Imperial Palace itself was someplace that held a lot of history, and Nova knew this once she caught sight of the building adorning withering tapestries of the Empire emblem. Fading red and black made the weathered building look more poorly kept more than it actually was, but she supposed it was to make it as a statement to the rest of the galaxy; she had seen this tactic used before back on Bavva III of those who ever attempted to go against the planet’s system way of living - although more gruesome, she didn’t doubt that there could have been many who would have wanted to use particular deceased heads on stakes. She didn’t see the charm on what it was forced to be made into, but could still feel what it was originally built for.

Halting as an empty corridor, filled with empty shelves and slots that would have once held precious material of scrolls, chips and discs, Nova sensed different arrays of emotions and memories. A curious mind looking up in wonder to a mentor as they show a new lesson from an ancient text. The same one trying to climb the shelves, but then use their limited abilities to tip the text over for them to catch, being too young and shy to ask for help. The same little one who tried to hide during the chaos of an invasion by someone they trusted -

“Nova,” Kylo’s voice called out to her, making her turn her attention to see him taking off his helmet with Phasma standing not too far, armed and ready as always. The Knights were left outside of the palace to stand guard with the rest of the ‘troopers. As far as Kylo told her, no one ever entered inside the palace anymore, fearing of the history becoming a possible curse to whoever went too far to disturb the ghosts that were resting inside. Still, it never hurt to take extra precautions on the outside, as well as getting distance.

Looking down to her, Kylo extended an open palm towards her. “May I please have it?” he asked her, and she smiled warmly at him as she dug into her pouches hidden underneath the cowl she wore.

Pulling out transparent hard drives with scratched out Aurebesh on the tags, Nova dutifully placed the three pieces into Kylo’s gloved hand. He then turned and held that hand out beside him. “Captain, if you will take these for the time being,” he instructed as the chrome plated woman stepped forward to take them.

Nova blinked and pouted at him in confusion. “You don’t trust me to hold the maps?”

“No.” Kylo removed his gloves and tucked them away before taking her hands in his own, lifting them to press a quick kiss to her knuckles to ensure his claim. “I just...don’t want him to be a part of it in any way. Not between us.”

Phasma made an amused tilt of her helmet as she hid the items away completely, Nova could sense the need to really push Kylo’s buttons, but was holding back. Kylo gave her a hard look and she simply shrugged. “I didn’t say anything, Commander.”

“Ahh, it’s a Commander that is roaming around here now? Though I sense another,” an elderly, raspy voice slipped into the chamber, making the three turn to see a human-hybrid man waddling out from wherever he was hiding.

Well, not much of hiding from Nova, when she pointed out to Kylo hours before that there was a man inside this particular room.

With his discolored tan and green face giving them all a toothless grin, the man reached with his elongated finger to point at Nova. Kylo instinctively moved his arm to somewhat shield her from the stranger. “There you are! Not only the Commander is one of ‘em, but so are you, young one!” he pointed out excitedly. “Oh wonder, how exciting. Never seen this many Force-sensitives in here before - and this place once held a whole lot of ‘em!”

“So, you’re Force-sensitive as well?” Kylo questioned with furrowed brows, pushing his abilities out to see for himself. Frowning deeper, Kylo returned to holding Nova’s hand. “You have it...barely to the point of only sensing others up close, but nothing else.”

“I like your droid! Better than them stormtroopers that used to come in and always rummagin’ through my collection o’stuff!” the man said pointedly while staring at Phasma, reaching with the same finger to poke her breast-plate, which Phasma smacked out of the way harshly. “Oh! Not a droid! It’s a person inside - how do you stay so still?”

Phasma looked to Kylo. “Are you seriously considering thinking that this man is the one you’re looking for, Commander?” Phasma asked bluntly. “There is no one else inside the Palace. We can easily go to the lower district of the planet and find someone else with more dignity...and more hygiene, than this homeless rodent.”

Kylo immediately went back to being his usual firm, direct self that made Nova hide her grin. “We’re looking for someone named Korol, and we’ve been told that he roams and resides in the old Jedi Temple. Are you him, or not.”

“I am Korol that roams and resides in the Palace, yes! It’s my palace now,” the man, Korol, chuckled gleefully. “Although, I always welcome guests who acknowledge me! I presume I am either in trouble with the Empire, looking at this not-droid-stormtrooper?”

“We are not the Empire,” Kylo corrected him firmly. “We seek you, because we have been told that you are able to proceed with marrying those who can not do so legally, or who do not have the required permission to do so.”

“Aye, that would be me!” Korol bounced. “But I saw you wanderin’ ‘round the Palace and take some ol’ garbage. You took bits of a map, I heard and saw! And, since you are a Commander with a stormtrooper, you must be here for official business!”

“We’ve finished with our mission,” Nova said before Kylo squeezed her hand to silent her. This made Korol grin even bigger; Kylo wasn’t too sure what the man was mixed with, since it seems that his skin and bones stretched longer than usual for a human.

“So, a marriage, is it? That’s a big commitment,” Korol drawled and began to wander around the empty archive, seeming to contemplate the request. “Haven’t done a wedding in a while - what belief do you two have? Is it the same, or not?”

Nova and Kylo seemed confused by the question, looking at each other for a brief moment before Korol popped beside them, staring at the taller man with a cheshire grin. “You, I see, have been raised to witness many. Certainly you’ve seen some weddings in your youth and asked questions when you could. The more usual, traditional kind of vows and rings, witness and a celebration with family, isn’t that right?”

Kylo didn’t have the chance to respond before the humanoid turned to Nova, more gentle and patient. “You, on the other hand, my dear beauty,” he said softly, “have never seen any sort of matrimony, only heard of your customs through others. Your rings are worn around your necks, wrists and ankles, instead of on the fingers.”

The Commander was about to snap at the creature, but Nova simply shrugged and gave Korol an honest, genuine answer. “No, I’ve never seen a wedding or a union of people, but I certainly do know that what I feel for Kylo is more beyond of what I was ever taught in my life. My very heart doesn’t belong to anyone else, but him. Surely, that’s enough for you to accept our request to marry us.

“I don’t need a ring, or any promise to a Master during a ceremony of promising ourselves to each other, if we were to be sold off, because I know as well as you do that we already stand by what we want, and our future is nonexistent without the other,” Nova went on with a smile. “You can see that, can’t you?”

Korol made an odd laugh as he jumped and clapped. “You’re a special one, yes! You can see more than what anyone else can, yes you can. I certainly can’t lie to you! You see what I see of you two!”

“So, is there going to be a wedding, or not,” Phasma blurted rather impatiently. “Because, if I may be honest with all of you, I can think of many other things I could be doing right now, instead of listening to this weird man. Commander, you know I’m really doing this because she asked me to, but this little creeper is -”

“Of course there will be a wedding,” Korol announced gleefully. “This is going to be the most genuine, the most best wedding I’ve ever officiated on this planet. Never mind the beliefs, you two have all you need, just do as I say for the most simple wedding ceremony I’ve learned.”

Korol went to what used to be a main desk of the archive hall, beckoning them over to follow. He was brief to make Kylo and Nova stand accordingly, encouraging them to hold hands - which Kylo had no problem with as he held Nova’s hands firmly within his own, his head twisting around to make sure he kept his eyes on the odd humanoid. With Phasma, after being slapped on the hand, it seemed Korol learned his lesson from touching the Captain’s armor; easily requesting her to stand to the side as a simple witness. Korol took a few hobbling steps back to look at the scene in front of him, then scurrying around the main desk and climbing on. For the humanoid-hybrid, he seemed a lot more delighted by the situation than the two who were intended to marry (although, both Kylo and Nova mentally agree that it just happens to be the whole set-up of being within an abandoned palace with a hermit officiating their wedding). From what Nova could sense, Phasma was just here to be a witness in favor of both of them…

“Because it seems there is a level of secrecy for this wonderful moment, I won’t ask for your names. Your presence here is enough to satisfy the union,” Korol explained with a smile. Then, looking to Nova, he rest his mixed-colored palm on top of her braids, patting politely. “My dear, would you like to state your vows first?”

Nova looked between him and Kylo for a moment, her husband-to-be’s eyes patient as ever while he held her hands. Korol took notice of her hestitance and pressed his fingers together, like a wise elder educating his pupil. “A vow, dear, is like giving a promise of what you intent to provide within your marriage. Most will often say ‘until death do you part’, but I much rather leave it open for you to decide what will suffice. Not everyone agrees with the death section of the traditional vows. If that will work for you, sir?”

Kylo didn’t spare another glance at Korol. “She can do whatever she pleases,” he explained, his thumbs caressing her knuckles to make her smile with a bit more confidence.

Feeling her cheeks warm and her chest thumping with her heart hammering against her ribcage, she felt the words slip from her lips with such ease and yet with an overwhelming effect.

“Before meeting you, I never thought I could live another day with where I once was. I was trapped in a place with no way out, and I was willing to accept my fate as nothing more than someone else’s benefit,” she began, her hands holding his a little bit tighter. “I never thought my life was worth anything, until you came to me and said my name. No one had ever done such a thing for me, like all the things you’ve done from the smallest gestures; you let me read, to learn what I can do, and allowed me to have a voice for the first time in my life, and there is so much more that you’ve done that I can’t even begin to list.

“I can’t thank you enough for everyone you have done for me, since that day you came to that damn planet. I don’t think there’s enough time left of my life to do so,” she snorted with her own amusement. “Instead, I want to give you everything I have and all that I am to you; you taught me that I can be more than just nothing, and that I am allowed to feel things that I was always told I couldn’t. I will give you my heart, my body and everything else I can to you and, hopefully, that will just be enough to repay a piece of all you’ve done for me.”

Looking up to him, trying to keep all her tears at bay, because she couldn’t see how crying was acceptable for her pouring her heart out in a time of happiness to let them slip. “I love you,” she told him. “I loved you the first day, before I even knew what love was; I loved you when I first said it to you, and every time after, and I love you today and now. And, I vow to you, even after either one of us is long gone from this vast galaxy of existing, that I will love you forever for as long as the Force thrives and even once if it disappears. I will do everything I can to be the best wife you could ever ask for, and promise to make every moment we spend together worthwhile. I vow to the wondrous galaxy that I will forever be yours and yours alone.”

Taking a deep breath, refusing to break eye contact with him and trying so hard not to cry, Nova felt his response grow tenfold and melt into her Force signature with the same sentiment and emotions that she was projecting to him. Korol hummed in approval and she sensed Phasma was doing her very best to resist her own emotions overtaking her usual stoic posture, making Nova feel a swell of pride in making the one she considered a friend to feel emotional over something that truly came from her heart.

“And now, young man,” Korol spoke, turning his nose to Kylo, who remained staring at Nova, “it’s your turn to say your vows, if you wish.”

What was next was not what anyone expected.

Releasing her hands for just a moment, Kylo moved his cloak away from the backside of his legs as he slowly got to his knees. Still, despite the major difference with his long legs folding in half, he was still fairly tall - a thought that amused Nova so much and he returned it through their bond with a teasing tickle. Settling into a comfortable position, similar yet different to how he would when addressed to Snoke, he took one of her hands. There was a sense of being another level above the Supreme Leader that sparked inside Phasma and Nova together, and he looked up to his beloved as if she was the holiest being known to exist.

“I am a man of many sins, and of a family with a history that no one will forget,” he said with so much confidence. “Meeting you was the first time I was being seen differently than I ever experienced in my life. I will continue to have blood stain my hands and destroy things without abandon, but now for a whole new different purpose.

“I vow to you, my love, that you will see the galaxy in all its glory and terror that you have yet to see for yourself,” Kylo declared. “I will take whatever blade and bullet that will be aimed at you upon myself, and make whoever dares to bring harm to you suffer. The galaxy is not worthy of you yet, and I will make it my mission to morph it into a perfect utopia of peace and order, all for you.”

With the one hand he was holding, he opened her palm and brought it to rest against his bare cheek and closed his eyes. “I will fight all the armies and kill anyone who tries to take you away from me, even our own Master, if it came to that. My loyalty may be with the Order, but my heart only belongs to you. You are the stars that light up the black mass in my chest, the reason I keep fighting and training to make a better future for you.”

Turning to nuzzle her wrist, Kylo’s lips twitched. “I vow to protect you, treat you as my equal and bring you the happiness that you deserve from the day you first drew breath, for all that I am capable. I will fight for you, sacrifice my life in order for you to live and see the peaceful future that I will build for you. I vow to be the best husband, and be forever yours, for my heart and life belong to you and no one else.”

Korol looked between them and then to Phasma. He seem to have waited for some kind of response from the witness and had gotten what he wanted, because pat his palms on top of both Kylo and Nova’s heads and tilt his head back. A blissful smile on his aged face, Korol hummed once more before speaking.

“By the power invested within me, I hereby proclaim with my life that you two are husband and wife,” he announced, the echo of the archive hall echoing his voice at a perfect volume. “By your witness as proof, and within these ancient walls, you may now kiss your beloved, and let your hearts become one.”

Kylo was quick to get back on his feet and take hold of Nova’s face by gently cupping them with both of his large hands, kneeling down to kiss her when Nova jumped on her toes and wrapped her arms around his neck. Phasma knew that both of them sensed her grin and happy tears staining the inside of her helmet, but she would let this one slide for being allowed to attend the wedding.

xxx.

“Did you see anyone inside the Palace, Madam Nova?” Lumiya asked curiously, whispering as quietly as possible. “Or see any ghosts?”

“No? Do people live inside anymore?” Nova asked back with a confused frown, making Lumiya flustered under her mask and look away from her, facing the ground.

“Well, knowing what history that place holds, I remember hearing how this place still echoes the dying screams and orders of the Emperor. I grew up not too far from here, so, you know, stories get around.” Standing up straight, she did her best not to emanate her past when Kylo Ren was nearby, leading the group away and back to the shuttle.

“Well, I hope this doesn’t disappoint you, but I didn’t sense any other lifeforms inside, besides Phasma, Kylo and myself. There was a lot of dust and broken things inside,” Nova told her with a shrug.

“It doesn’t. It feels more relieving, actually, knowing that no one dares to enter such a place. And the mission was a success, so the Supreme Leader will be more than pleased that you got what we came for.”

Watching for the group of First Order personnel leave down the gateway of the old palace, Korol smiled to himself as he returned indoors to the archive hall. Hobbling over to a singular pillar that held an archway above, Korol felt around the old, worn-out panelboard until he found a functioning switch to bring up a half-formed hologram.

Reaching to the hologram, he ejected the small drive from the slot provided and took hold of the blue colored block and placed it in his pocket, patting the newly added lump.

“Another nice piece for my good ol’ collection, mm?” Korol chuckled to himself as he turned back to see the sunset, the same direction the secret newlyweds and their entourage faded off to. “Could really sense the bonding of their love for one another - don’t find that from the First Order nowadays, no sir. Those two must be the best match, if I’ve ever seen one…”

Laughing freely, Korol scurried over to a hidden corridor - a vent that has been pried open with a tool some odd years back - and stuck his irregularly shaped head inside. The vent was illuminated from dated lights, making the pile of collected hard drives and security footage seem to sparkle like little diamonds.

Taking the chip in his pocket, Korol was careful to set it gently among the rest of the collection, adding another piece of light reflecting off of it. He smiled proudly before pulling back out of the vent and sat on the ground with a pleased sigh.

“Yes, it’s good to put more happy memories in the walls,” he told himself with a toothless grin. “Good ol’ collection is gonna overpower all the sad memories with all the good, thanks to those two newlyweds.”

Fun fact: Korol is a canon name in the SW universe, who is rumored to be an ancestor of Han Solo. Can anyone guess what they went to go retrieve from the Temple/Palace? c:

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