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urtheoneiwant · 2 years

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Buckle Bunny of Sorts │ Rhett Abbott

Genre: SMUT with some fluff

Summary: From the insistence of a friend, you spend a night out on the town. But you run into your long time crush, Rhett Abbott, and he has something to tell you.

Warnings: SMUT! 18+ ONLY! P in v, oral sex (female receiving), small spit kink, dirty talk, degradation, praise, kinda dom!Rhett and sub!reader, use of term 'buckle bunny', pining, revealing feelings, unprotected sex, pull-out method (be smart! don't use pull-out method as a form of birth control irl), messy sex, pet names (bunny, baby), a smidge of sexism from the towns people? Written as a fem!reader. Just nasty, nasty filth.

Word Count: 5.6k

A/N: My first smut! Please be kind, I'm still very new to writing and especially smut. But I loved Outer Range and I saw someone post about wanting to be Rhett's buckle bunny and couldn't get this out of my head. I didn't want country girl (as I call her) to be an actually buckle bunny since they are sort of frowned upon (but I say you do you). So this is the idea I came up with instead. It took me forever to write this, but I'm pretty proud of it. In conclusion, I love Lewis Pullman and the characters he plays. Go watch Outer Range if you like Lewis, he's amazing in it and it is such a great show! Now I have to go bathe in holy water :) Oh and feel free to send in any request or thoughts you have about Top Gun or other characters. There is a list on my page of the main fandoms I'm into, but you can send whatever you want it and I've might have seen/read it. And you can always reach out to me for whatever (rants, ideas, links to articles about be we're obsessed with) Thanks for the support!

SMUT BELOW CUT. 18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

(GIF is not mine)

Admittedly, you felt a bit stupid. In your head, this seemed like a good idea, but as the idea becomes a reality you mentally kick yourself for it.

You’ve grown up in Amelia county your entire life. And in a place like this, people tend to stick to their roots, inner circle, and cliques. That being said, you knew just about everyone in your town, and definitely knew every boy your age. The problem was that they knew you too. Growing up you were definitely an outcast. Spending all your free time working to help pay the bills didn’t give you many chances to make friends. You were boring, safe. You knew it. You weren’t anything to write home about. At least that’s what you told yourself.

Last week you sat with the one friend you managed to make throughout your time in school, Sadie, and spilled these thoughts to her.

“That’s bullshit honey, and you know it.” Leave it to Sadie to soften the blow. “I’m sorry, but you are beautiful, any guy would be lucky to have you. But you spend all your time holed up at work or with me. These guys haven’t got a proper look at you since you hit puberty, no wonder they don’t seem interested.” She lectured.

“Well, what am I supposed to do about that? Get all dolled up for a night on the town? Look around, it’d be ridiculous” You replied.

“Come on, let me take you out. Just throw on some daisy dukes, a risky top, and some nice boots. It’ll be fun. And I’ll personally beat the shit out of anyone who has anything bad to say. Please, please, please…” And you knew that when Sadie was like this, you had no choice but to give in. So you agreed, one night out.

And that’s how you found yourself in your apartment letting Sadie pick out your outfit. She refused to tell you where you both were going, claiming that she didn’t want you to “get scared off.” And after opening the door wearing a pair of worn-out jeans and mud-covered boots, Sadie pushed her way inside to make you change.

She rifled through your dresser before holding up the tiniest pair of shorts you own. “No way, those are from high school. I don't even think they’ll fit. Plus it’s late out, why would I want to wear shorts?” You tried to reason with her, you really did.

“They may not fit you like they did in high school, but that’s the point, honey. Just trust me this once. Everyone is going to be all over you.” She replied, and handed you the shorts. As you began to wiggle them up she quietly added “Oh, and Rhett’s going to be there.”

You froze in place, glaring at your friend. “WHAT? Oh my god. Oh my god. I can’t believe you.” Rhett fucking Abbott. The cowboy that you had been crushing on since middle school. Ever since the day he saw you walking home late after babysitting for a little cash and offered, no insisted, on walking you home. He was a few years ahead of you and happened to be friends with your older brother. Anytime he would come round your house to see your brother you would find yourself with your ear pressed to your door, trying to catch any of the words he was saying. Your eyes always seemed to wander outside your window to see if he was out back throwing a ball around with your brother. Once you even caught a glimpse of him shirtless after coming over to help your mom with some yard work.

Needless to say, your crush on Rhett didn’t get any better. In high school, you went out of your way to see him in the halls, or to accidentally run into him on your way home from work. You even went as far as to offer to tutor him in algebra, a class you yourself were failing. He wasn’t too keen on getting your help once your brother told him about that.

Now, Rhett had grown up and you had too. You would see him from time to time at the bar you worked at, always polite and asking about your family. And even now, you couldn’t help the butterflies that erupted whenever he was around. Some crushes just don’t go away.

“You’ve been into him since 8th grade! I can’t believe you haven’t made a move yet. It’s time to put your big girl panties on and do something. Hell, screw someone else for all I care. All I know is that if I have to watch you make puppy dog eyes at Rhett from across a room one more time, I’m going to lose my mind.” Sadie said. But that was the problem. No matter how many guys you went out with, or screwed, you always came back to Rhett. Honestly, you could see why it was so exhausting for your friend to watch all the time, it was a bit pathetic being a grown woman with a crush from middle school.

Deciding to listen to your friend and do something about your pining over him, you buttoned up your shorts and turned to look in the mirror. Sadie was right, they don’t fit as they did in high school. Where they used to be a bit loose on you, they now held on to every curve you had. Damn, when did you get an ass? Swallowing your nerves, you shoved your feet into your white boots that only appeared on special occasions. To top it off, you threw on an old flannel opting to tie it up and undo the top couple of buttons to let a bit of your cleavage spill out.

“Now, that is hot. He’s going to be drooling over you, just wait” Sadie hyped you up. She reached up and messed your hair up just a bit, giving it a wind-swept look before ushering you out to her truck.

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After driving for a half hour, Sadie pulled into a dirt parking lot. You saw lights flashing, and heard cheering coming from the stadium seats. She took you to a fucking rodeo. Dressed in booty shorts.

“This is a joke. I look like a goddamn buckle bunny for christ's sake.” You curse out to her. She has the audacity to simply smirk back and says,

“Bout time you start acting like one.” And with that, she was out of the car and walking towards the show. With no other option but to sit and stew in the truck all night, you reluctantly hop out too. You curse under your breath and begin to tell Sadie that this is the last time you go anywhere with her without knowing before what she had planned.

Walking into the crowd, you felt your throat dry. You could feel people staring and you swore you heard a whisper that said “Is that Bruce’s daughter, Y/N?”. Suddenly, you became very interested in kicking the gravel under your boots.

Sadie did her best to reassure you, grabbing your hand and weaving you to a back lot. The crowd was sparse back here, and it looked like most of the guys hanging around were bull riders getting ready. “I don’t think we should be back here,” you said into Sadie’s ear and moved to pull your hand out of her grasp. But before you could she whipped you back around.

“This is it Y/N. Scout out which one of these boys you’re going to be riding tonight” She said with a wink. You let your eyes briefly scan the group. None of them noticed you two seeing as you were tucked a ways away. You made out a few familiar faces but you had no desire to talk to, let alone seduce, any of these guys. As you opened your mouth to inform your friend of this, your eyes caught something. Not something, but someone.

Standing slightly turned away from you and chatting with some other rider, you saw Rhett. Maybe it was because you only got to see him in dim-lit bars nowadays, but you swore he somehow was more attractive than you remembered.

He wore a blue flannel with the sleeves rolled up, allowing you to see the veins run down his arms. You got a flash of the tattoo on his forearm, the one you imagined so often at night when thinking of him. He had his chaps on, the fringe down the sides fluttering ever so slightly in the wind. His signature black hat was perched on his head. At that moment, you swear you could’ve died.

You didn’t realize how long you had been staring until Sadie gave you a nudge. “Close your mouth or you’ll attract flies,” she said. It was then you noticed that you in fact had been standing there with your jaw on the floor admiring this man. Your eyes stayed locked on his figure as you gave him a once-over. God, he was gorgeous. Even with the layers of clothes he had on you could tell how lean and strong he was.

As your gaze made your way back up to his face, you were now looking right into his bright blue eyes. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He caught you. He fully caught you drooling over him. And just when it couldn’t get any worse, the fucker had a smirk plastered on his face and sent a wink your way. You averted your eyes and pretended you weren’t there, feeling a hot blush creep up your neck. But just when things couldn’t get any worse, you heard Sadie yell out, “Hey there Rhett”.

You silently prayed to the gods above that he wouldn’t walk over to you two, but it fell on deaf ears as you heard the crunch of gravel grow louder. Next thing you know he’s standing right smack in front of you. “Hi there Sadie, how’s your ma?” he asked, his southern drawl heavy.

“She’s well, thanks for asking. You know Y/N right? You were friends with her brother growing up” Sadie tried to segue. You forced yourself to bring your eyes up to meet his.

“Well of course I do, how could I forget a face as pretty as that?” Your eyes snapped to meet his. No way, there was no way Rhett Abbott was flirting with you. He was just being nice, that’s all.

“Oh um, hi. Good to see you.” You muttered out, full of nerves. Sadie cleared her throat and you thought back to her earlier lecture. Maybe it was finally time for you to get out there. Stop playing it so safe all the time. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. So with some more confidence mustered you blurted out “I hope you do good tonight. I’m sure you will.”

Without missing a beat he responded, “Oh now that I know you’re here I definitely will. Always ride better when I know a gorgeous girl like you is watching.” His words sent heat blooming between your thighs. Fully committing to the act you took a step toward him and leaned up onto your toes to whisper in his ear.

“Well if you win, we’ll have to celebrate. Why don’t you come to find me after you finish up? Let me give you a victory prize.” You did your best to put on the most sultry voice you had. And despite the confidence you were exuding, you were scared shitless deep down. As soon as the words left your mouth, you were off. You swayed your hips a bit as you went to find a seat, knowing that he would be looking.

You didn’t dare look back until you reached the arena seats. Sadie guided you to sit down amongst the crowd, all waiting for the show to begin. And just as she opened her mouth to ask you what happened you whisper out “I think I’m going to be sick.”

“Oh come on, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad at all.” She whispered trying to not draw any attention.

“Oh no. It was bad. Very very very bad. Can’t show my face around here again bad. Have to leave the country bad.” You felt bile rise up in your throat. You turn to your friend and recount to her what you had just told the man of your dreams. It was like word vomit, you couldn’t stop freaking out and rambling.

“Y/N. STOP. Take a breath. The worst case he says no, he leaves once he’s done tonight. At least you know you tried. But you’re forgetting that he could be just as into you. And from the way he was talking it sounds like he is. So it’s going to be fine. He’s fine, you’re fine. All we can do is sit and try to enjoy the show.” Sadie reasoned with you. And you knew she was right. So you sat there, ass freezing from the cool metal bleachers. The more you thought about her words, the more you were able to calm yourself down. What’s done is done, and you rather be rejected than never know.

The soothing mindset you were in came crashing down the second Rhett’s name rang out. He was heading out for his final ride of the night. You felt your mind go blank and body numb as you focused on the arena in front of you. Honestly, you knew very little about bull riding but the way his muscles strained and body twisted was enough to keep you interested. Timed seemed to slow as you stared at him squeezing his hips to stay on the bucking bull.

After what felt like minutes of him being tossed around, you gasped as he was uprooted from his saddle. You knew that was bound to happen with any bull riding venture, but it still startled you to see him thrown about like that. He was yanked up and led out of the arena until the bull was wrangled. When he walked back out, your tension eased seeing he was unharmed.

You locked eyes on the scoreboard and nearly fell out of your chair when you saw his score. He won, holy shit he won. You were on your feet in an instant, screaming your head off. You felt a rush of pride for him, knowing how much his bull riding meant to him. Sadie jumped with you, and you were sure you were the loudest there.

After yelling for much too long to be appropriate, Sadie gave your arm a tug. “Come on” and you, still being in a blissed-out state, let her take you back to where you first ran into Rhett that night. You looked around in the dark, eyes wide anticipating what would happen next. A chill ran up your spine as you thought about your earlier promise to Rhett if he won. Startled out of your thoughts, you heard the sound of whooping and cheers from some men around you. Cranking your neck around you spotted him.

He was caked in dirt and his sleeves were hastily pushed up, hat askew on his head that was tilted back with a wide grin. Your mouth ran dry as butterflies erupted inside you. His eyes began to scan the small crowd of people before landing on you. Burning with embarrassment and admittedly desire, you shifted your eyes elsewhere. But soon enough, you heard that all too familiar voice. “Hey there ladies.”

“Hey Rhett, congrats on the big win. Y/N and I were cheering you on” Sadie said.

“Oh, I bet y’all were. Hey Y/N, can I talk to you real quick?” Rhett turned and asked you.

With a nod of your head, he gently took your hand and pulled you under a nearby tree. Still too shy to make eye contact, he brushed his hand under your jaw and turned you to look into his blue eyes. “You know I don’t expect anything. If you want to act like nothing happened earl-”

“No” you rush out. “No, I mean I want to. If you do.” Talking to just him and him alone felt so much easier. You felt your confidence grow back and expectantly looked at him.

“Well darlin’ I would want nothing more. You want to go back to your place for a bit?” He questioned, still being gentle with you as to give you an out if you changed your mind.

“Yes please,” you murmur. You felt as though you were floating when he wrapped a strong arm around your waist and led you back over to Sadie.

“Hey Sadie, you alright if I take Y/N home? Just figure it would be nice for us to catch up.”

“Oh, sure! By all means, go ‘catch up’” Sadie had the cockiest smirk plastered on her face, and while you wanted to be mad at her for it you also know she was the whole reason you were going home with Rhett Abbott tonight.

Walking out to the parking lot, Rhett keeps his arm firmly around your midsection till you arrive at his truck. He opens the passenger door for you before walking around and getting in himself. The roar of the engine coming to life jolts you forward a bit, remembering that you were in fact about to go home and get railed by the hottest cowboy you’ve ever seen.

“What are you thinking about Bunny?” Rhett can tell you were getting lost in thought.

“What did you call me?” Surprised by the nickname and the way it made you clench your thighs even tighter.

“Bunny. You look like a buckle bunny in that getup. But it’s cute, I like it on you.” He answered honestly. On any other occasion, you would’ve been pissed that someone thought of you as a buckle bunny. You grew up on a ranch in rural Wyoming, you were the farthest thing from a buckle bunny possible. But the way Rhett talked about you made you melt.

“Oh yeah. Blame Sadie. Wanted me to get myself out there more I guess.” You replied chewing on your bottom lip.

“Well, it was definitely nice to see you outside of the bar you work at. I’ve been wanting to talk to you for the longest time but I felt weird bothering you at work.” You whipped your head around at the confession.

Staring at his side profile as he continued to drive, “That’s nice of you to say, but it’s okay you don’t have to lie.” You didn’t believe it. That a man like Rhett would be interested in talking to someone like you.

“I’m not lying. I’ve always kinda liked you. But I guess I just never acted on them. And I know we’re on our way to your place so I can rail the shit outta ya, but I’m not just interested in sex from you. Let me take you out one night? It took me long enough to make a move on you, don’t make me wait any longer.” He said with the utmost sincerity. You were stunned. Shocked. All this time you two idiots both liked each other, and it was a rodeo and a plotting friend to finally make you realize it.

“I would like that. A lot.” You smile up at him as you pull into the parking lot of your apartment complex.

Cutting off the engine, Rhett runs around to open your car door. Always a gentleman. You laced your fingers with his as you tug him upstairs to your place. You feel him placing teasing kisses on your neck and jaw when he can reach you. You giggle, moving even faster to get up the 3 flights of stairs.

When you reach the door of your apartment, you fumble around looking for your keys in your purse. When you manage to grab them, you pull them out with shaking hands cursing as they fall to the ground. Before you could bend down to retrieve them, Rhett already has them scooped up. He chuckles softly before resting his hand on your shoulder and rubbing your arm soothingly.

“You don’t need to be nervous Bunny. But I want to ask you again, are you okay with this?” He asks kindly, eyes soft and hands warm.

“More than okay.” And you pull him down by his shirt to crash your lips onto his. It was messy and desperate. Teeth clashed and tongues battled for dominance. You slid your hands up Rhett’s neck and into the curls at the back of his head tugging softly. His one arm wrapped around you and pulled you impossibly closer to his body. You recognize the faint jingle of keys through your fuzzy headspace and realize he was unlocking your front door with his tongue down your throat.

The door soon swung open and Rhett began to push your intertwined bodies inside. Stumbling in, you hear a door slam behind you before he has you pushed against a wall. His leg came in between yours, knee and thigh pressing up into your core. You let out a whine into the kiss, the feeling of him making you even wetter. In fact, you were sure you were absolutely drenched.

Seemingly reading your mind, Rhett broke the kiss to ask, “How wet are you Bunny? How wet does the idea of my cock have you? Bet you were sitting in those stands all night just soaking wet.” You merely moan in response, your brain not working fast enough to form actual words. Rhett brings his lips to your neck biting and sucking hickies into your smooth skin. You run your hands down his back to the hem of his shirt. Too impatient to unbutton his top, he leans back and pulls it over his head.

You knew Rhett was strong. After years of working at the ranch and bull riding, you expected him to be pretty muscular. But the actual sight of his abs, sharp and all edges, makes your mouth water. You tentatively place a hand on his toned chest. God, it looked like his body was made of chiseled marble. Under your hand, you feel his warmth radiating and the steady beat of his heart. When you force yourself to pull your eyes up to his, he says “Your turn.”

He places his hands on the bottom of your shirt, eyes silently asking if he could take it off. Your hands reach down and cover his, urging him to swiftly remove your top. His eyes immediately move to your breast, covered in the white lace of your bra (if you could even call the small scrap of fabric that). You hear a faint groan come from him before he ducks his head down. Placing open mouth kisses along the top of your tits, he brings his right hand up to palm your breast and roll your nipple. His mouth goes lower and latches onto the other nipple through the lace of your bra.

Your fingers tangle into his hair, pulling him closer to you. It’s not enough. You’ll never have enough of him. Soft moans tumble past your lips and Rhett takes this a cue to keep going. Eventually he pulls off and uses a hand to unclasp your bra as it falls to the ground. Getting a full view of your tits, Rhett brings both his hands to them and gives them one last squeeze before kissing your lips once again. Getting frustrated and wanting, no needing, more you drag your hand to his ripped figure. Your fingers trailed down the wide expanse of his chest and trace down his happy trail until you reach the waistband of his jeans. Popping the button and pulling down the zipper, Rhett helps you by tugging his jeans down as fast as he can. He kicks them off, leaving him in his tight boxer briefs. A tent is growing in them and you let out a gulp at the size of him.

“Don't be scared honey, I’ll stretch you real good before I fill you up” his voice fills the air. Excited at the idea, you grab his arm and drag him farther into your apartment and to your bedroom. You pull him in front of you and push him down on the bed causing him to look up at you. Reaching to your shorts, you nearly rip down your legs ready for him to touch you. Before you can pull your panties down, Rhett reaches out to them. He rubs his calloused hands over your hips and yanks you so you have no option but to straddle his figure. “Bunny, with panties like that I don’t think I could stand you not wearing them as I fuck you.”

You whimper at his words alone and he lets out a chuckle. He runs hands up your back and suddenly you are flipped over onto your back, Rhett now looming over you. Scooting down the bed, Rhett's face lands between your legs throwing them over his shoulders. He moans when he sees the wet spot that seems to be growing on your panties, landing wet kisses on your inner thighs. You think how could someone make a sound so beautiful. But you are quickly pulled from this as he tugs your pink panties to the side and takes in the full view of you. His eyes darken and he rasps out “Holy shit baby, you are so goddamn hot. I might come in my fucking boxers,” and he subtly grinds his hips into the mattress in attempt to get some much needed friction. Opening your mouth to make some teasing comment, you instead let out a cry as Rhett licks a bold stripe up your pussy. He lands on your clit, tongue moving in figure eights over top. For the second time that night, you find yourself pulling Rhett by his hair closer to you. He then alternates between lightly fucking his tongue into your dripping hole and brutally attacking your clit. The duality of pleasure causes your eyes to roll to the back of your head.

Rhett places the tip of his finger at your entrance, sliding it up and down through your folds first to get it slicked up. He breaches your entrance and your toes curl as he slides knuckle deep. “Fuck, oh my god Rhett please please, keep going,” pathetic pleas fall from you. You feel him adjust his thick digit in you until he finds that spongy spot that has your back arching. “Right there- right fucking there.” Any other night you would be embarrassed that someone has you so close to coming with one finger, but right now you could care less, only able to focus on the increasing burn in your stomach.

You can practically feel Rhett smirk against you as he eases a second finger into you, again going directly to that sweet spot inside you. He begins to thrust his fingers in and out of you, still using his mouth to suckle your clit. You are screaming in pleasure, babbles of “please” and “don’t stop” leaving your mouth. The coil inside of you is close to snapping. You are so close, so unbelievably blissed out. “I’m gonna cum Rhett. I’m so close” you speak out in warning.

But just as close to the edge as you were, all the pleasure you felt was quickly ripped from you as Rhett removed himself from you. You glare down, sweat dripping down your forehead. “What? Why did you stop?” you croak out, voice already strained from your screaming.

“Oh Bunny. I want the first time you cum to be on my cock.” Rhett responds and leans up to place a hot kiss on your mouth. You deepen the kiss, wanting more of him. You can taste yourself on his mouth and soon he pulls back to say “You like that dirty girl? Like the taste of your sweet pussy? You should, it’s the best pussy I’ve ever got my mouth on.” You feel yourself clench at his dirty talk, managing to turn you on even more. You whimper and try to buck your hips up to encourage him to do something, do anything. Instead he just laughs, “Oh you are so desperate Bunny. Need me to fuck your tight pussy, make you cum so hard you can only yell out my name. Don’t worry Bunny, I’ve got you.” As he speaks he wiggles himself out of his boxers, hard cock slapping his tanned abs.

He props himself onto his forearms and brings a hand to his mouth. Your eyes widen as he spits into his hand and reaches down to pump himself a few times. Noticing your reaction he looks at you. “Open your mouth” and you obey, sticking your tongue out for good measure. You feel something wet hit your mouth before you process that he just spit into it. Rhett Abbott just spit in your mouth. And you swallowed, savoring the taste of him. “Good Bunny” he says into your ear.

“Rhett. Fuck me.” You whine out. Now it’s his turn to moan, finally sheathing his cock into your cunt. You gasp at the stretch and he waits a few moments for you to adjust. After a second you whimper out “Move please.” And Rhett doesn’t need to be asked twice, pulling nearly all the way out before slamming back inside you. The force of his thrusts push you up the bed despite Rhett’s bruising grip on your hips.

“You feel so good baby. Squeezing me so tight. Best fucking pussy.” he praises and you clench around him. “Oh baby, you love when I talk dirty. When I tell you how amazing this cunt is. Going to make it mine, never letting anyone else near my pussy again.” You are pathetically whining and thrashing. Your nails are raking down his back, surely leaving welts in their wake. He clashes his lips onto yours and picks up his pace. The brutal fucking makes you feel like you’re floating. He licks into your mouth as you let out a steady set of moans and cries.

Just when you think things can’t get any better, Rhett snakes his hand down to rub tight circles into your clit. Paired with his cock repeatedly hitting the sweet spot inside you, you know the knot in your tummy is starting to unravel.

“Rhett” you whine, “Rhett, I’m so close.”

“Come on baby, make a mess on my dick. Wanna feel you cum” He responds.

Clamping down on him, you are brought even closer to the edge. Eyes tightly shut, you turn your head to the side and let out a moan louder than you thought was possible. No one had ever made you feel this good before. You couldn’t even believe that it was the man you had been crushing on for years that was in your bed, in your pussy. And with that reminder of who it was that was fucking you better than you’ve been fucked before, you saw white behind your eyelids. As you reached your peak, heat spreading all the way through you, you couldn’t help but yell out, “Cum Rhett, let me make you feel good. Wanna be good for you, only for you.”

Unable to resist your fucked out babbles, Rhett ruts into you. Once he knows you’ve finished riding out your orgasm he pulls out from you. Furiously fisitng his cock, he groans out reaching his own release. White ropes of his seed spurt out and land across your tits and you mewl out at the warm, sticky substance coating you. Teasingly, to bring two fingers down to swipe through his release and bring them up to your mouth. You suck on the cum from your fingers, loudly moaning at the salty taste. Both panting hard, Rhett adjusts your panties back, flops over and lays next to you. “Shit y/n. That was amazing. Was it good for you?” And you blink hard through your fuzzy mind searching for a response.

“So good. The best, I think you succeed. Definitely ruined anyone else for me.” Rhett laughs at that. Abruptly, you are filled with a new feeling. It’s warm, cozy. You blush and you realize just how much you have fallen for this cowboy next to you.

You get lost in the idea that this is the start of something real between you two. No longer will you have to pine for him from afar. He likes you, he wants to be with you. You are consumed by him, forever connected you think. No matter what, he’ll always be there. He’s not leaving. And it’s that thought that brings you so much happiness and lets your body relax completely.

A wet towel between the valley of your breasts pulls you from the daydream. Rhett has at some point gotten up and found something to clean you two with. You melt, heart softening at how kind and caring he was being. God, you were so lucky.

The two of you cuddle up and spend the next hour talking about random things. Your favorite movies, what your go to karaoke song is, what you plan to do in the future. And it is easy, it’s the easiest thing you’ve ever done. And when your eyelids become heavy, you find yourself slipping into a peaceful sleep listening to the beat of Rhett’s heart.

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doll-book · 1 year

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𝚖𝚢 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚏𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚚𝚞𝚒𝚛𝚔𝚜…♡ (random sht i do when scripting / shifting (´ω｀★)

🍭 i always use my own first name in my drs, but switch up my nicknames (which sometimes dont sound anything like my real name). the reason for this is because if i can't have anything but memories from my dr in my cr, i'll bring something from my cr to my dr. hearing my s/o call me by the name my parents gave me would feel so intimate and personal, and makes it more special imo. it's the name i'm used to, whether it's aesthetically pleasing or not. i also feel that it'd help me adjust to my dr quicker after shifting in - because if i woke up in a whole different place with a whole different face and a completely new identity, i already know ill be going bonkers. hearing someone call my cr name will help calm me down, and i'll feel more in tune with my dr self.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i also use different last names that suit each dr; like for my rich/famous dr, i chose the last name celene-sinclair because it just feels expensive and it-girl like. for my princess dr, i chose bluebell because i have the power to grow flowers in that dr and bluebell blossoms are one of my favorites. in my florist dr (i have a thing for flower themed drs lmao) my last name is magnolia. in my bakery dr my last name is coco for the spice, etc etc etc! i really like embodying the vibe of the dr, which i talk more about in the next point.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i have a light case of synesthesia (tasting shapes, hearing colors etc) and it definitely affects the way i approach scripting. each of my drs has a highly specific color, theme, taste, and/or sound; and to be honest, i feel like this made meditating and hyperfocusing on my drs super easy. hearing a certain song immediately makes me think of a scenario i scripted, or helps me embody the person i am in that dr. because of these connections i make subconciously, i'm able to enter the void state pretty easily and experience intense symptoms. i have other mental blockages that have been stopping me from shifting thus far, but we're working through them! it's only a matter of time.. ヾ(`ヘ´)ﾉ

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 one thing i'd like to add is: i feel like we all subconciously associate things in a similar way, whether you have synesthesia or not. my stance is that making connections to your dr through music / mood boards / colors / sounds / etc is super helpful, and helps you slip into your dr headspace in a much shorter amount of time. the connections you make literally become triggers, and once you shift for the first time, you'll likely be able to do so again if you use what triggered you previously.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i like categorizing my drs. why am i shifting here? what will i feel once i shift there? currently, i have pleasure drs, travel drs, different lifestyle drs, job drs, self care drs, comfort drs, and book/show drs. each one gives a diff vibe and i like having options when choosing where i wanna go at night lmao

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

🍭 i never script in my irls, especially not my parents. it's not because i don't love them or anything like that, it's because i'm scared of growing too attached to my drs, and / or changing the relationship i have with that person in my cr. i love my mom so much, if i see her in any other reality i know i'll find it hard to consciously make the decision to leave. in a way, she's what's grounding me to my current reality, and my safe word is literally her name. i always script that my parents are never anyone i know personally. the same thing goes for close friends - if i see my best friend in my dr, how the hell am i supposed to leave? i cherish the memories i have with the people i know, and interacting with them in a new reality where we have completely different backgrounds and upbringings .. idk it'd be unsettling to me ( ╥_╥ ) it'd probably affect the way i interact with that person in my cr too. but that's just me!! if you feel differently you do you ganggg

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

that's all!

kisses, pearl ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ✩‧₊

#shifting #shifting realities #desired reality #scripting #shiftblr #shifting community #reality shifting #kpop shifting #kpop #new blog #shifting script

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drarrypotterrenaissance · 1 year

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So, my goal this year was to post at least one fic a month. This is not an unreasonable goal, as I have dozens of finished or very-nearly-finished fics in my WIPs folder. However, writing fic and posting fic are two very different activities for me, and so I literally waited until 6 minutes before the end of February to post anything this month. I have written a bunch of fics for the amazing @hdcandyheartsfest, and I am going to make myself upload all of them, in chaptered installments, to this fic on ao3. (They can all be enjoyed on their own though!)

(If I don't update fast enough, please poke me! My irl bestie and my therapist are both so good about reminding me to share my work, but that doesn't mean I listen all the time 🙃 I'm hoping that maybe the 1,954th reminder might finally do it...)

Second Date

On their second date, Draco gives Harry a bottle of Felix Felicis, thrusting it across the table with far less ceremony or poise than Harry would have ever expected from a Malfoy, muttering something about it not being traditional to give gifts on a second date, but it was finished brewing, so…

"Draco! This is amazing! Did you brew it yourself?" Harry asks, clearly not put-off by this breach of second-date-protocol, if perhaps a little overwhelmed.

"Yes, well, you mentioned that you had used the bottle you won from Slughorn for doing Dumbledore's bidding and ensuring your friends weren't killed by my idiocy, so I thought that perhaps you should also have a bottle for your own enjoyment."

Draco's voice is far too prim, in the way it only gets when he's spectacularly nervous, and Harry's heart squeezes with something far too much like love for this early in the relationship.

"I mentioned that ages ago."

"Felix Felicis takes six months to brew, I couldn't have gotten it to you a moment sooner. Hence the poor timing, I suppose."

Harry can't believe how endeared he is to that snotty little sneer.

"I'm not the one who's stuck up on traditional courting etiquette, Malfoy. I don't care that you've brought me a gift on our second date, I just wish I could have gotten you something too."

Draco starts to brush that last comment off, but Harry interrupts him.

"Wait, this isn't some sort of apology, is it? We've already cleared the air and then some, and you know I wouldn't be here with you tonight if there was still anything from the past standing between us. You don't need to atone for anything with me."

Draco scowls.

"No, it's not an apology."

At Harry's suspicious frown, he presses on, "Alright, it may have been one in the beginning, when I first started brewing it. But I still couldn't believe we were friends then, that you could be so nice to me and forgive me - yes, Potter, I know I "put the work in" as you so often say, but even still - and I just felt so sad for who you were when you were sixteen. You had so few good things, and it seemed like all of them were taken from you, or twisted for the War, and I wanted to go back in time and fix that. But, of course, I couldn't, so, I made you Felix Felicis instead, to sort of replace what Dumbledore and I had both taken from you. I just,"

He looks up from his hands, where he has been fidgeting with the tablecloth the whole time he's been speaking, and Harry isn't sure he can hold any more love in his heart; this is it, his future is fixed on this man and he can't do anything about it, even if he wanted to, "I wanted you to have something nice. Something just for you."

Harry can't help it then. He leans over the table, takes Draco's face between his hands, and kisses him.

Read on Tumblr: Part 1,2, 3, 4

Read on ao3

#drarry #drarry fic #hdcandyheartsfest2023 #fluff #my fic

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moonchild-in-blue · 3 months

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Hey there! A bit late but i'm here for the ask game! (*´v｀*) I'd like to ask 1, 11, 23, 63, 78 and 88 but i know it's a lot so no pressure, please feel free to ignore any of them if you don't feel like answering it! 🫂💖

Hi!!! Not late, never late! I will put this under the cut because ~lenght~. These are all very good questions, thank you Lev 💙🪲

(What’s your biggest insecurity? Do you like who you are around people? Do you believe in an afterlife? Do you ever get paranoid? What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends? What kinds of things confuse you?)

1 - What’s your biggest insecurity?

My body, which is such a sad answer, but it's true. I'm working on it. My voice - some people do not take me seriously because I have a "girly voice", especially when stressed, even though it's really not that high pitched. I had to force my Big Girl Sexy Deeper Voice out at my previous job just to get my points across. Again, sad.

Also my inability of expressing my feelings out loud. I write it a lot, but I can't genuinely remember the last time I said the words "I love you" with my own voice.

I know why I am the way I am, and I wish it didn't get to me, but this will be my cross to bear until the end of my days. I think I try to be as loudly affectionate as possible here, because I'm hoping it will make it easier for me irl.

11 - Do you like who you are around people?

Depends on the people, really. I like the way I am around my friends, even if there are parts of me I supress. I wish I was better around my sister - she deserves more than I am, and it frustrates me that I sometimes act like our parents towards her. It kills me inside.

I don't know how to answer in relation to my parents. On one hand, it's very relieving to be amongst people who understand certain parts of me without me having to justify or explain (something about being a 1st gen immigrant child lol). On the other, being at home puts me back to my 16yo mindset, when I was really angry and sad and struggling, and I hate it.

With strangers, it really depends. I am too anxious to notice haha. I just really like to be alone, I suppose. It's easier that way, at least.

23 - Do you believe in an afterlife?

Yes! I am very much Christian, so I do believe in heaven/hell, and the concept of an afterlife.

I don't really talk about it much here, because I know there are so many of you who have been failed and mistreated in the name of religion (which was not how any of this was supposed to happen, and it really breaks my heart) and prefer to steer away, which I 100% understand. Also, some people get extremely weird around Christians, and assume a number of things without even talking to them, so I spare myself the unpleasantness. I hope this makes some sense!

63 - Do you ever get paranoid?

Baby, anxiety is my middle name. I get paranoid about things you could never imagine. 😎 But yeah.

Every time I hear my door bell ringing, or knocking, I always think it's the police coming to get me, even thought the most illegal thing I've done is download music?? And my family is... normal. No suspicious activity or anything, so I really don't understand why. Make it make sense.

78 - What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

There isn't much I'm not comfortable with tbh. My friends have seen me at my worse, and we know almost everything about each other. We've been friends for a very long time.

Maybe just being affectionate? I have a really hard time with that, but it gets easier around them. And they know how unhinged I am about my blorbos, so I don't really need to censor myself haha. I do a little code-switching. I speak a bit differently around my family, and with them I tend to use a more generalised/commonly accepted language, rather then my parent's countries expressions.

88 - What kinds of things confuse you?

LIFE IN GENERAL. How do you make decisons? How do you know you're in the right path?

Math. Cars. Sports. It's all Simlish to me lmao.

#very good questions! I had to sit with myself for a while thinking about them #i hope this makes some sense lol #ask game #darya answers

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ace-disgrace-on-the-case · 2 months

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I've spent a while agonizing over how I'm supposed to respond to what's going down on the site rn, honestly I'm not sure I should but I'm doing it anyways

While I am transitioning and it's going pretty well, I wasn't always in the time I've been here and even now I'm not really out irl. This is my carved out corner of internet spot where I felt like I could just be myself, and it's the only social media I really use. It's the only one that's ever felt like a community to me. There are people on here I care about, real people I've never met in person but consider them my friends.

I was hoping I could just slide under the radar on here, but some of my fandom posts really blew up recently so I'm realizing that outside of not posting that's not really in my control. And we've all seen what can happen if I get too big. I've been lucky not to get the kind of bs in my inbox that some folks I know get but who knows. I don't post anything I think will get me struck but again, who knows.

...I think the whole situation is a load of crap. Our glorious CEO and/or the rest of Tumblr staff have been making a mistake and it's been going on for god knows how long, I don't. I'm not sure how safe I feel to keep being here on this site.

I don't really have backup social media, so this is it. If I say or do something stupid, I'm gone (part of why I considered not saying anything), and I'm not too stupid to know when I'm not welcome (which, to be fair, is most places--god don't you love people).

Mutuals, folks who want to stay in contact with me, I can give you my Discord or we can work something out, please message me. At the very least I don't want to lose my friendships from this site.

I'm mad and I feel threatened somewhat, but I'm getting used to it by now. Who was I to think Tumblr was any different from the real world?

#post #transgender #look if I go down I go down but friends please don't drop off the map get in touch we can work something out #please

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vegasandhishedgehog · 1 year

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Okay friends of the MDZS/The Untamed fandom

If you've seen my previous post about making lotus root and pork rib soup, you know the journey I've been on. If you'd like to try making the soup yourself, a link to the recipe is toward the end of the OG post. That one got a little long with all the additions and extra advice from friends, but since I've made it again I'm reporting the results. Why I feel the need to do so is beyond me but this is the only genuine cooking I do and I deserve to be proud of every attempt, so if this annoys you, imagine these faces:

I will give a disclaimer that I had meant to make this soup a week and a half earlier but the mental illness was too strong, so yesterday I forced myself to push through the mental illness anyway so I wouldn't waste too many ingredients (we still wasted some 😔). So, alas, this soup had no ginger and half as much lotus root as desired, plus I forgot to read how much seaweed I was actually supposed to use (way less than what I used), and completely omitted the chopped scallion even though I had it ready because I just. Forgot to actually add it.

We carry on.

In all of my past versions of this soup, I didn't include the rehydrated seaweed. I was advised to give it a go this time and ...well. 😅

That bowl is a good 9 inches in diameter and 3 inches deep. And I took that photo AFTER adding a liberal amount of seaweed to the pot. Yes, I rehydrated the whole package. I didn't think about anything other than, "I'm finally adding the final step to this recipe I've been following!" and entirely missed that it only calls for 1 cup. [Hold on. Googling how long rehydrated seaweed be stored right now. OMG YOU CAN FREEZE IT THANK HEAVEN.]

This is me scooping out all the fuckin seaweed that entirely took over the soup 😅😅😅😅😅😅

Remember how I said there was half as much lotus root? Yeah, this is seaweed soup with a hint of pork now. Good luck finding any slices of lotus root.

I had also assumed that this seaweed would be salted (the packaging was NOT in English, but honestly I can't blame the label for this). I had certainly added what I thought was already a generous amount of salt but let's remind ourselves that I am barely a cook by any means. This girl doesn't know shit about how much salt should go into 12 quarts of water to add enough taste. I did go heavy on the goji berries though.

This resulted in the broth being mainly pork and goji berry water :/ if I'd had the motivation to go out and buy fresh ginger and remembered the scallion I'm sure it would've been better (and more salt obviously), but hopefully I'll be in better spirits next time I make an attempt. I learned a lot from this one.

The one thing I am proud of though?

Look at how clear that broth is. The oily bubbles are from the meat, and I also apologize I don't know if it's my phone's camera or my photography skills, but if it doesn't look clear to you I promise it does irl! I didn't use any of the cooking wine or soaking the meat with the ginger like @of-sevenseas suggested, but just by following the process in the recipe and making extra sure I washed the meat well this time, it seemed to work out!

Lessons learned:

Making soup while having a bad mental illness day is not a failed endeavor, but watch out.

Don't do this without ginger. What are you doing. That soup is wet stuff in hot water.

ADD MORE SALT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU CANNOT BE THIS WHITE.

Read the recipe including measurements. Cooking is, of course, more improvisational than baking, but there's a reason we follow guidelines. Especially when we're rookies, still.

Next time we're gonna try the cooking wine and ginger thing with the meat. It sounds like an adventure.

Celebrate your wins!!!! I did have a success in this attempt!

I also did very well keeping the cat away from this whole 7 hour process, which is the greatest success of all.

(Obligatory kitty pic, since I mentioned her. Meet Lucy everyone. She's hiding under my blankets from the loud scary generator outside my window.)

#lotus root and pork rib soup #mdzs #the untamed #wangxian #yunmeng siblings #jiang yanli #wei wuxian #maddi's cooking (mis)adventures #also y'all gonna start recognizing my kitchen counters if i keep this up

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aibidil · 1 year

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On neurodivergence and romance

Been thinking about neurodivergence and romance. Like, romance as a concept, not dating or anything like that.

A few years ago, I had this bizarre moment where I started asking everyone what they thought romance was, because I just didn't understand. (For context, I've been with my partner since we were teenagers. 😂) Everyone could tell me what romance wasn't, but no one could seem to tell me what it was? Like, it's not buying flowers and chocolates. Ok. But then what is it? How is sexual romance different than having a friend whom you also fuck, I asked them? (They definitely think it’s different than friend+fucking.) So, like… am I aro? But that couldn't be!—how could I be aro and in committed monogamy for two decades?!

But what I'm thinking now is that this is really less about my romantic status or sexuality labels and more about my (and my partner's) neurodivergence. It's about the fact that we never seem to want to do anything the "typical" way, and that extends to our relationship. One of the hallmarks of the neurodivergent brain is that we don't accept societal norms/rules at face value, but rather, we have to go back to first principles and decide whether it all makes sense. This is why we (as a group) don't follow rules that don't make sense—notably, including rules about gender and sexuality. The gender binary is a fucking con, and if you are a person who is going to interrogate gender and not simply accept whatever society says about it, of course you'll come to the conclusion that it's all bullshit. (Check out Unmasking Autism by Devon Price on this point, he has a fab explanation.)

And I think it's the same with romance, for me. I'm not sure I'll ever understand what romance is, but I'm also confident that that isn't due to any problem or lack in my relationship with my partner. And maybe for me, sexual romance is just "wanting a committed relationship with a friend whom you also fuck." And sure, it seems like that's not true for everyone, but it seems that way for us? And that’s ok.

The other interesting thing is that I think this actually serves me well when writing romance, which is bizarre. You’d think that I, a person who literally cannot come up with any way to define romance, would suck at writing it. But in reality, I think romance in fiction is often so neurotypical that it becomes unavoidably cliched and ends up lacking any feeling of reality or human authenticity. But because I, on the other hand, have no idea what romance is, I can’t really write cliched romance. Instead, I end up focusing on the workings of the relationship, with no thought to what “romance” “should” look like.

And actually, I think that’s what happens in my real life, too. Somehow I have no idea what romance is and don’t care about it at all, but the end result of it is that I have a fulfilling romantic relationship?! …. The irony?!

The other bit that strikes me as fascinating is that neurotypical people irl are always telling me how lovely my relationship is and how perfect my partner is, but my reaction to these comments is basically…confusion. Because I know that my relationship, though it seems that way to them from the outside, would seem hugely lacking to them if they saw it from the inside. Because in my relationship, neither of us ever does anything that romantic partners “should” do. So I find myself trying to argue against people, trying to convince them that my relationship is worse than they think, because of this deep sense that they don’t understand what they’re talking about. But I don’t actually think my relationship is shit, I just know they would think it’s shit if they saw it in its entirety. So my interpretation of the situation (again with the irony), is that they are jealous of my relationship, even though they would actively prevent themselves from pursuing a relationship like mine because it lacks so many neurotypical markers of relationship happiness.

I’m not sure where I’m going with this, but I suppose it might be to validate any neurodivergent (lack of) experience of romance, and maybe (if I’m feeling bold) to claim that us neurodivergents are the only ones in a position to offer any insight into what romance is and isn’t, or who can push society toward healthier views of romantic love. 💜

#romance #neurodivergence #rambling thoughts on sexuality and gender

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viridescent-lance · 9 months

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TOA Anniversary Munday!

Celebrating TOA and the people who contribute to make our group what it is.

Repost, don't reblog. Only fill in what you feel comfortable sharing!

Happy anniversary, TOA! Here's to many more years spent together.

tagging whoever wants to do this!

Name: Pat Gem! Patrick is the full name but Pat is what I go by most often in this group.

Pronouns: he/they

Birthday (no year): September 15! Same as my beloved kitty Cassie.

Where are you from? What is your time zone?: I'm from California, PST! I was born in the Bay Area, moved to Alabama where I spent ten years as a kid, and moved back to California. That's the truncated version.

Roleplay experience: I started roleplaying on the Warrior Cats Forums in like...2010, I think? I also did private Skype rps with my best friend at the time. This lasted for 3-4 years until both fizzled out around the same time. I have some experience doing group nuzlocke rp on the nuzforums, but that also didn't last as long as I'd like. Other than some ttrpgs, I had a dry spell, and in 2019 I joined a Friends at the Table tumblr RP that would change my life. There I met Maddie and some other friends, and while the rp wasn't super active after I joined it, Maddie and I started doing rp ourselves! Finally, in late 2021, Lucius invited Maddie to TOA and I also got the invite and tagged along.

Got any pets?: Yep! Cassie and Oreo, my beloveds! Both cats, Cassie is the one with a hairdo and she's almost 4, Oreo's a year and a half and a tuxy baby.

Favorite time of year: I love when it is nice and cool but not too cold. Fall is my favorite season, personally, but really I especially enjoy not sweating to death.

Some interests and things you like: I'm a huge Pokemon fan, which I'll elaborate on later. Here though I'll say that I have a huge interest in competitive Pokemon, both singles and the official VGC circuit. I'm a big TTRPG guy! I have a lot of systems and games I like but I'll single out Fall of Magic, Jenna Moran games, the Forged in the Dark system, the Belonging Outside Belonging system, and It's Been A Long Long Time! I have an interest in speedrunning, I watch a lot of videos about it and it's fun. I love Discworld, the Terry Pratchett series. Tales of Vesperia is a game of all time. Yuri Lowell your problems disorders. Ace Attorney helped mold me as a person. Warrior cats will forever live in my heart. Bionicle also helped make me the guy I am today. 999 is a visual novel of all time. Play it and do not look it up. I actually have a huge interest in media analysis, it's something I really really enjoy talking about and researching. Splatoon my beloved. Octopath Traveler 1 and 2! I love birds and bats and lots of animals! Okay I'm running out of steam and also this is very long so I'll just stop here but there's definitely things I am forgetting.

Some funfacts & trivia about you: - I'm a library and women's and gender studies student, and hope to some day work as a librarian! For now, I'm an afterschool program associate, and I love working with the kids. - I have met Nancy Pelosi while wearing a Pokemon button up. - I've survived a tornado that started above my house. - I have finished 34 nuzlockes. - Marth was one of my first smash mains but I didn't get into Fire Emblem for years. - I have the cilantro soap gene but I like the taste of soap. - I'm physically disabled and use a cane irl! - My girlfriend used to have me blocked on Twitter. - I've made it to playoffs every single Pokemon draft league I've been in but never made it past semifinals - I was very isolated as a kid and rarely left the house. As a result, I learned my vocabulary mostly from books, as well as how I talk and emote from books and shows. I've been told I talk and act like a cartoon character, which I suppose is fair!

What non-Fire Emblem games do you play?: I play a bunch of Splatoon, probably one of the main games I play! It's very fun, and I'm a Sploosh/Custom Jr/Tentatek triple threat main who constantly hovers around S. Octopath Traveler 1 and 2 have me grabbed so hard. I am hopelessly a Pokemon guy. I play nuzlockes, casually, and competitively, and I have almost every single Pokemon and its learnset and viable competitive learnsets memorized. I am very normal about it. I also really love the Zero Escape series. I've been playing the warrior cats procgen sim ClanGen recently. I used to play a bunch of No Man's Sky, want to get back into that soon. Honestly I struggle to consistently play and finish games, and I've been trying to work on that.

Favorite Pokemon type & Pokemon: Bug; Flygon. Yes, you can combine these two to get the logical conclusion: Flygon should have been a Bug/Dragon type! It's based off the life cycle of a lacewing!!

How did you get into Fire Emblem?: I've got two stories here, one of how I almost got into Fire Emblem and how it got on my radar, and the other being how I finally got into it for real. So, in 9th grade, I had a crush on a boy who played Awakening at lunch every day. I'd talk with him and he actually offered to buy me Awakening, but I, one of the only poor kids in a rich school, was flabbergasted he would spent 40 dollars on me and felt guilty and was like are you sure? And he was like well okay if you don't want me to. I kind of wish I'd taken him up on the offer because he sucked as a person and his family was super rich but oh well. I then played the hell out of the demo. Flash forward to 2019. I'm scrolling twitter and see a friend of mine is streaming Fire Emblem Three Houses. I've seen it before, and it seems pretty fun. A lot of my friends like Fire Emblem. I watch the stream and fall in love with the characters and style of the game, and I impulse buy Three Houses. I then tell Maddie and sell them on Three Houses. Thus, it begun...

What Fire Emblem games have you played?: This is a fun and complicated question for me to answer because if you count me backseating Maddie, it's some of fe4, most of fe7, fe8, fe9, fe10, over half of fe13, some fe14, fe15, and fe16. If it's just me, that shrinks down to some fe7 and fe8, some fe9, over half of fe13, some fe15, and some fe16. I was an active participant in watching the games so it feels like a smidgen of playing them but not quite?

First Fire Emblem game: Either the Awakening demo or Three Houses.

Favorite Fire Emblem game: Shadows of Valentia, Sacred Stones, and the Tellius duology. Hard to specify a single favorite, especially depending on what we are defining favorite as.

Any Fire Emblem crushes? 😳 : Where do I begin. I mean Lukas is like, perhaps one of my strongest ones. Though I'm also smitten with Forsyth and attracted to Python despite him being terrible boyfriend material. Recently I have been making eyes at Legault in Blazing Blade, and also playing Fates for the first time had me really surprised at how much Setsuna charmed me. Uhhh lemme think also. Christ Kent your problems disorders bewitch me. Claude you are my everything I will do anything for you. Shamir also if we are talking 3h, what a gal. Ranulf my beloved, he's got things together and he's playful and teasing and just has a great personality. Also Titania...pretty and strong and cool and just a fantastic character who I would not object to kissing on the mouth. I think i might stop here because if I keep going I am going to just take you on a tour of my numerous Fire Emblem crush tastes.

If you’ve played the following games, who was your first S support? Who would you S support nowadays? - Awakening: Panne; I'd also S support Libra or Say'ri. I need to mention that my first awakening playthrough was in 2020 though so if I'd gotten it in 2013 like I almost did I'd probably have gotten married to like...Libra if I waited that long, Chrom if I messed up and got automarried, or like. Stahl or something bc he's really nice and a knight. - Fates: I have not S supported anyone in Fates yet but Setsuna and Silas I am Looking. - Three Houses: I actually never have S supported anyone in Three Houses, as I never actually finished my personal playthrough! However, my big choices are Shamir and Claude, though w the latter I just pretend that's me bc I don't do teacher/student. - Engage: Not enough experience to say who I might S support. Will get back to you.

Favorite Fire Emblem class: Do laguz/taguel/manakete count. I'm also weak for archers I shan't lie.

If you were a Fire Emblem character, what would be your class?: Oh I know I'd be one of those frail little mages who has explosive firepower and waning physical ability. Honestly being that but on a wyvern would be fun. My good friend my mobility wyvern.

If you were a Three Houses character, what would be your affiliation?: Golden Deer 4ever baybee not even close.

If you were an Engage character, which Emblem would you Engage with?: I'll get back to this, I'm not sure if I have the info I need to make an informed choice. My first thought is that I would love to have Ike chilling with me though, Ike my good friend Ike.

How did you find TOA?: Lucius invited Maddie, and Maddie invited me! I was roleplaying Forsyth with Maddie's Python 1on1 at the time and the idea of a group RP was very appealing to me, despite me being swamped with work and school and health issues at the time. I'm so glad I made the leap!

Current TOA muses: Forsyth and Leanne!

Who was your first TOA muse? If you don’t have them anymore, could you see yourself picking them up again?: Forsyth! I don't see myself dropping him unless his narrative here is done, really.

Have you had any other TOA muses?: Oh Ranulf...I had a very fun time with him, but I just was not in the state to handle three muses and having two muses has been much more manageable, so he's probably not coming back for a while.

Do you think you have a type of character you gravitate towards?: I tend to write very earnest characters, especially in a group RP setting. I've pushed my comfort zone before, but characters who express themselves very openly and intensely are my bread and butter. Characters who wear their hearts on their sleeves, for better or worse.

What do you believe you enjoy writing the most?: Hard to say, but honestly I really enjoy writing relationships, and the ways in which they shift and change over time. I really like character-focused writing the most, emotions and thoughts and such, and exploring the connections between characters! This feels like a silly answer, but it's what I'm feeling!

Favorite TOA-related memory: Oh man this is a hard one. Hard to choose so I'll just pick one that came to mind which is Leanne and Vaida's bizarre adventure in Queen's Compass. What a good event that was, blows a kiss to the sky for Zyra. I'm also a huge fan of everything involving Forsyth's Jugdral meddling and the narrative impact of his deaths in KKE. There are so many funny little experiences and memories that stick with me forever, really.

How do you pronounce TOA? 🤔: Tee-oh-ay! Pronouncing it as a word is the same as Toa from Bionicle and to keep them distinct in my mind I sound it out.

Got any delusions that didn’t see the light of day that you’d like to share? 😉: The world if I could handle three muses...Legault scratching at my door. Ranulf also scratching at my door. Blows a kiss to the guys I would enjoy playing but don't have the time and energy for.

#[ ooc ]#[ dash meme ]#//ty for making this neffi!!

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strayslost · 3 months

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GETTING TO KNOW YOUR MOOTS BETTER !

Fill out the info sheet below & tag your friends to do the same ! Repost , don’t reblog !

🌊 🐇

Name / Pen-name : Meri!

Pronouns : She/her (okay with they/them too!)

Country / Region : England.

Timezone : GMT

Age / Age group : 25, as of this month!

Favourite colours : Pink, turquoise/teal, yellow, cream & brown, and maybe green too???

Favourite foods : How can you expect me to choose!! if I listed them all I'd be here all day ;~; I suppose a couple are cheesecake, custard (and sweets/cakes generally tbh), spaghetti bolognese, salmon... I've gone too braindead to think of more, sorry :')

Non - RP Hobbies ? : Watching/reading anime, manga and visual novels (when I've got the executive function for it), music, video games, decoration/design, and working on my own stories/songs! I'd love to stream someday, but I'm a bit too nervous to start atm, haha. Same with blogging about some of the things that are important to me - I'd love to do more in that regard, but I'm not really sure where to start.

Favourite animal : BUNNIES and sea creatures in general!! In particular, octopi, sea otters and sea turtles have my whole heart <33

Any allergies ? : I actually have had an allergic reaction to something like. once in my life, but unfortunately I have no idea what it was to, otl ;w; so uhhh. I guess my answer is a "not really"??

Favourite Season : Ooooh, I can't choose. Aesthetically, maybe summer or winter, with autumn close behind. In practice, I'm terrible with temperatures that are too hot or too cold, though!

Scents you like : Vanilla and coffee! Though my sense of smell is pretty bad generally, I'd say these are my favorites.

Coffee / tea / hot cocoa : Tea (with a bit of sugar!). Hot cocoa can be great too, and I don't like the taste of coffee, but I do benefit from the effects of caffeine, so I tend to drink lattes instead.

How long have you been in your current fandom ? : for BSD, it's only been about a year! Actually, I'm pretty sure I got into the series sometime around December 2022, since that's when I first made my Chuuya blog?? It's pretty quickly risen to the spot of my favourite piece of media ever though, at least currently, so congrats to BSD are in order, I think!

Do you prefer to ‘ wing ’ your threads or discuss plots with your partner during or ahead of time ? : I enjoy both! I think my favourite thing to do is to have or discuss a general idea for the starter/thread, for example like... "my muse is time traveling from the future to meet yours", or "my muse discovers a secret yours is hiding," so like basic plotting, and then just seeing where things go from there. But I absolutely enjoy winging it too/just seeing what happens, and I love just as much when my partners have something they particularly want to explore and let me know, so I'm pretty flexible in that regard, I think! (aka send me your wishlists >:) )

Are you okay with getting to know your RP partners outside of writing / becoming good online friends or even offline friends ? : 100000%, honestly I would love this so much! But full warning in advance, I am... very bad at being active and replying to messages quickly in general, otl. I don't have many friends irl as a result of this, even though I really would really like to make more... unfortunately my functioning issues in most areas of my life are pretty bad and this extends to maintaining conversations too. HOWEVER, you're absolutely always welcome to message me whenever you'd like, even if I haven't replied to your last message yet! I find that this can help prompt me to reply to my old messages as well, and I can promise you that my slow replies are absolutely not an indication that I don't want to talk with you or of how I feel about you - I'm just very awkward and find socializing hard, but that doesn't stop me from really enjoying talking with you nonetheless!! (This applies to my RP reply speeds too, tbh) There's way more I could say on this but I might make it it's own post tbh, this section is already getting too long. tl;dr i love you all, let's be friends!! <33

Finally , what are your favourite genres of RP ?: I'm not so good at defining genres, so instead I'll say - I love angst and conflict between characters but also resolving conflicts too, seeing characters get to know and relate to each other better... I'm a big fan of threads with supernatural elements, in particular those that are shocking to the characters, and of secrets being revealed generally too! Exploring character's insecurities and beliefs and having them change their perspective is great as well... basically, I'd say I enjoy "meaty" threads with lots of emotions or action over like slice-of-life, casual interactions, but even those can be fun if they're well done, honestly!

Tagged by : @chaosbled ( thank you so much!!! ;w;)

Tagging : I haven't been logged in enough to know who's done this already if I'm honest so I'm just gonna say anyone who wants to and hasn't done it yet - say I tagged you! <3

#ooc #( memes. )#this was so nice to do!! I love being tagged in these kinds of memes tbh #i hope i didn't go on too long with some of these answers but!#<33333 you all. i'm excited to see what you all have to say if you do it; too!

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somehwere-between · 2 years

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Because badgers in any shape or form are a mystery to me, I'm curious: What's the difference between a badger primary and a badger secondary? How can you tell the difference when you meet them irl? Or in fiction, I suppose...

Happy to hear from you, Sevil!

You sound very much like an old friend of mine, who was a double snake. Seems like a very snake thing to say. (I’m teasing— I don’t quite get lions as a bird pri myself, so maybe there’s just something about our parallel-sorting that trip us up. Who knows?) But to get to the question, I’ll try to explain my thought process as coherently as possible.

What’s the difference between badger primary and secondary?

I will use a blend of real people and characters to best explain the difference in thought processes, but I am very much biased as a (burned) badger secondary. So take this all with a grain of salt!

Badger Primaries

Ideals can come and go, but it’s my people that are my main driving force. If my community is hurt by an ideal or rule, my thought is to see my friend’s pain and question my morals.

I work FOR, in most cases.

Even in moments of personal ethical crises, I go with my people. If my people are in church, I go to church, and so on.

Though not always the case, it’s possible that someone can be (or is) dehumanized when becoming part of the “out group”.

If my people are doing something I might disagree with, I will make excuses for their behavior and attempt to see their way of things, rather than stick by my morals. (Note: this is seen mostly in young badgers, and healthier badger pris know how to have their own philosophies and still be with their people.)

If I feel I don’t belong, my ethics can falter alongside my community.

Hard work is valued both morally (it’s the right thing to do) and logistically (it’s long but it’s effective).

The community is my goal.

Badger Secondaries

I work WITH, not work FOR.

Hard work is empirical, not moral. I don’t have to work hard to be good, but I choose to work hard because it’s effective.

Communities are a system of people.

Someone doesn’t have to be dehumanized to be a part of the “out group”.

The community is my method.

Note from a friend on Discord (bird-badger): “…I don't need to make excuses for my enemy not being a part of my group — or see them as inhuman or something — to have them be my enemy. I don't really need to dehumanize them the way badger primaries sometimes have to.”

So, in fiction, I have a much easier time with secondaries than with primaries as a general rule. But, I like to look at four main things when determining what flavor badger they are, if they are one:

Do they work with, work for, or do both with their communities?

Is their badger-ness a method (secondary) or the ‘madness’ (primary)?

When you strip away morals, will they still work hard, or rely on other methods?

Is there dehumanization in the “out-group”?

I’ll give one of my favorite examples, because I am a predictable bastard and no one can stop me. Mafia 3’s Lincoln Clay is a very, very, VERY blatant badger-lion, and his best friend John Donovan is a double badger with a lot of explosiveness and burning going on. I’ll pretend like I’m analyzing them here.

Lincoln works for his community, not necessarily with. He has connections, sure, but it’s John who actually employs these connections. John works for the greater community of America, and with the smaller community that is New Bordeaux.

Lincoln’s is certainly the “madness”. The whole reason he goes on this war path? To kill them people that fucked over his family, his community, his people. John’s is both method and madness. His definition of community is far broader (being the USA), and he uses his many and often questionable connections to help Lincoln get revenge.

We see that with Lincoln he is a hard worker, but he’s not above throwing everything to the wind if it means freedom. Before the main events of the game, he wanted to leave and do something he’s never done thousands of miles away without much thought about practical things, assuming he’ll “figure it out”, but he still thinks that he’s (actual quote here) “cuttin’ and runnin’ on [his] people”. John, on the other hand, works hard regardless of his health, his sanity, his (lack of a) paycheck, most everything. His definition of integrity isn’t exactly legal, but legality really isn’t much of a concern.

Simply put for both of them— yes. The Southern Union, the Marcanos, the other various [you-know-who] satellite organizations, none of them are humans. Note: John is far more intense in his hatred because of what he defines as community, that being Americans. He means all Americans, including Black Americans (African, Haitian, Afro-Latino, etc.), Asian Americans, Irish Americans, etc., and he gets very pissed at the racism that many marginalized groups face in 1960s America and desperately wants to make things right. He still gets things wrong, but for a CIA agent in 1968, there is clearly a lot of care there.

These questions also can apply to real people, though it would take more time to really observe or ask about compared to watching a video game series 4 times through and having a 3k+ word document analyzing numerous lines, movements, and scenes. (Have I mentioned I’m autistic? Because I am. Clearly.)

I hope this is of some sort of help!

#sortinghatchats #shc community #badger primary #badger secondary #badger primary vs badger secondary

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igotstuckinthevoidhelp · 6 months

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nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could been

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

All of them!! :3 -@llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerych

0 - I'm 186cm (-ish. that's the best measurement I have)

1 - I'm 21, 22 on Halloween.

2 - Size 46 EU

3, 4, 5 - No. unless you consider coffee a drug, then yes, occasionally.

6 - No specific one, but I sometimes get told I look younger than I actually am. Like I was at a bbq some time ago and someone said they thought I was 16.

7 - Nope

8 - I was always thinking about it, but I'm not sure

9, 10 - No and no

11 - IRL friend, I'd rather not call them out and they don't have a Tumblr

12 - single (unfortunately)

13, 14 - I do not know in what way these are supposed to mean but I really like when someone listens to all the nonsense rambling of mine and I really don't like people who smoke

15 - Hard to pick, but I'm a big fan of "Leon the Professional"

16 - No clue, sorry, it's hard to simply quantify something this complex

17 - My shooting target my ex

18 - I'd rather not share that, sorry

19 - I don't get emotional in any way a lot, but when I do it's usually for good reason

20 - My inability to function normally

21 - Hard to say but I guess my ability to remember the most random things

22 - A teacher, probably

23, 24 - Both alright I guess

25 - Literally never been on one so I have no clue tbh

26 - No idea again, I have a lot of small annoyances but I don't think they are quite pet peeves

27, 28 - Sorry but these are a bit personal + I don't really know who I'd pick

29 - To avoid embarrasment

30 - The sheer amounts of time I have to dedicate to it and how 90% of it is really dull

31 - "Thanks"

32 - I do not really know what this one is meant to ask

33 - Don't know either

34, 35 - To be fair, I do not know. I decide if someone is attractive to me when I get to see/know them

36 - Australia probably

37 - I am a mass of insecurities wrapped up in a skin bag

38 - I wanted to be an actor

39 - Milk

40 - A voice actor, if I could've sustained myself off of that

41 - At my own home (nonexistant)

42 - Does cough syrup count? If not, then some McD fries

43 - ? uh, I don't know? I don't usually think of people's "sexiness"

44 - Despite being a land-locked country, the ususal Czech greeting is "ahoy"

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inkrabbit · 1 year

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I am quite new to Ghost and have only started being able to tell which ghoul is which on stage but I was wondering, does each papa have different ghouls ? Who is Ares ?. I hope this question isn't too much of a bother :)

okay children, gather round. Mama Rabbit's gonna go back on her bullshit rambling rq

welcome to Ghost, anon! <333 questions like these are never a bother. I'm honestly honored that a few people have asked me questions about the Papas and the Ghouls. I wanna say I'm gonna keep this... decently short, but knowing me, that won't be the case.

Ghost is a very... special case. if you're looking at fiction, then it's really up to the author/artist on how they want to interpret the ghouls. for me, I have it that every Papa summoned their own ghoul, though Copia (Papa IV and the current Papa) had taken/adopted/borrowed some of Terzo's (Papa III) ghouls.

but looking at the irl side of everything? Alpha, Omega, their first keyboardist and first drummer were in the band from 2010-2016. this would mean that those 4 ghouls would've been with Papas I-III. then we got Aether (our current rhythm guitarist) and Dewdrop/Sodo/Ember/whatever the fuck people wanna call him (at the time bassist in 2016 but moved to lead guitar after Ifrit bailed in... 2018 I think). after that, we were introduced to Rain (current bassist), Swiss (current multi ghoul), Mountain (current drummer), and Cirrus and Cumulus (current keyboardist/backup vocal/the works). and it really depends on how the content creator wants to handle all of this. I've seen it done a few different ways and it's just the beauty of people making content because nothing will ever truly be the same as someone else's. as I've loosely quoted before: "Ghost's creative content is mainly fandom. 5% is actual lore, 10% is what we get from Tobias' interviews, and the other 85% is what the fandom has made up and run with."

there are a few different guides online for which ghoul is which, when they were in the band, what instrument they were on, etc. there is a good tiktok actually by @/cmaraschina where they did something for all 21 ghouls that have been in the band. this does tell you their real names, so be careful if you don't want to unmask the ghouls. however, this is done because... most of the ghouls weren't named until... Era 3 I believe. I know Terzo had introduced Alpha, Omega and Water (which I think was Dewdrop/Sodo) during a show.

as for Ares :)))))

so in Ghost's Chapter 8, we're shown a piece of the past, where a young Papa Nihil performs at Whisky A Go Go, complete with his own ghouls. and honey... I took one look at those ghouls and said "yes, gimme".

Ares (the lead guitarist) is..... these ghouls aren't mine, I just named them and started using them. from what I know, I'm the only person who's currently using Nihil's ghouls and these names I picked out for them. are others using them? I dunno. have people given them different names? I dunno. I've never seen these boys used by anyone else, but it's probably because I'm the only mf that could get 2 seconds of content from characters we know nothing about and decide to obsess over them.

Ares' first appearance in any of my fics was "The Last Night" where he had attacked and subsequently killed the reader. he was unnamed in that fic and was only referred to as... I think "the old fire ghoul" or "Nihil's fire ghoul" and it was supposed to stay that way. then I started talking to a friend and... we got Ares. I was originally going to name him Vulcan, so if you see that name pop up in my older posts, that's why.

all in all, you don't have to worry about seeing those names. Ares, Neptune, Notus, Silvanus and Astraeus you won't need to worry about because, for me, they're Nihil's old ghouls. they're not part of the current or any previous lineup and I think they were just actors for Chapter 8. they're not legit in Ghost

#asks #if you're using Nihil's old ghouls you're obligated to tag me in every post because I crave more content #pls I'm obsessed and it's becoming a problem #will be making a post for Nihil's ghouls tho #Mama Rabbit rambles again

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autisticlee · 9 months

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I have so many characteristics that make me feel like dating would be absolutely impossible to do and navigate, because they're such undesirable things that no one wants. i

if someone DOES want/are ok with them, there's so few of those people that they either already found someone, or they're out of my reach/we'll never meet. and that's if THEY match what I want as well, which then makes that pool even smaller.

i'm autistic. i'm asexual/aromantic. i'm trans/nonbinary. all things that make dating extraordinarily difficult to begin with.

i'm also not smart, rich, socially acceptable, or conventionally useful. i'm not physically attractive/don't match societal standards. i'm not likable to most people and can't even make or keep friends. my interests are very weird and niche, and it's hard to find people who share them.

if I can't figure out how to make and keep friends, how am I ever supposed to date? that's many levels ahead of where I am, almost end game. i'm at level 0. the tutorial level. except my tutorial glitched out before I even started and won't work. so I can't advance.

yes, I have good characteristics that people would be lucky to have (like loyalty, willingness to communicate, honesty, going out of my way to be there for people I care about, etc) but those things don't overshadow the ones above. first impressions kill me. my most noticeable traits kill me again. I can't lie or mask. no one gets to the smaller "good" traits or they simply aren't ever enough.

this is why I never tried to date and never even thought about it until now. I gave up before even starting because I knew it would be a dead end, a waste of time and energy.

i'm going to complain further under here, despite already making like 10 posts about the exact same bullshit:

"until now." so, I need someone who lives in canada to date me so I can move there from US and be with the only supportive people I have in my life lmao. my closest friends, my found family, who meet my needs, respect my boundaries, go out of their way to help me, and reciprocate everything mutually and equally. they actually want me in their lives. it's not one-sided, for the first time in my life. I don't question their motives or loyalties like every other friend I had in my life. it's genuine and real and they've stuck with me for like idk 5 years now? meeting irl (which usually ends my friendships for some reason...I guess people don't like me after meeting me outside of my internet persona?) it was solidified even more that we are the found family i've been wanting and needing my whole life. why do they have to be in a different country that has an extremely strict policy for being allowed to move there?!

so back to the dating thing a big problem is that I have too many barriers that I can't hide that make people uninterested or dislike me. I also can't control other people. people are unreliable and difficult as hell.

throw on top wanting to date someone specifically to move countries and they might question MY loyalties and think i'm only using them. when actually, I genuinely also want someone who can be part of our found family and be my life partner.

unfortunately, I know it will probably never happen, since it's not even about "trying" or "not giving up." I literally don't know how to try to find someone. like where to look?? social medias are collapsing and I get ignored everywhere. dating apps are for more hookups, polys, cheaters, and bots/catfish than real partnerships. I have no clue how to make people like me because who i am hasnt done me any favors ever in my life. waiting around for someone to come to me first just wastes my time! plus i'm picky as hell and can't accept just anyone.

people keep telling me "keep waiting you'll find The One! don't give up! I was in a similar position and i found someone!" that doesn't help me. it doesn't give me hope or whatever. I prefer actual helpful things like "I'll help you get there!" if you want to "help." I prefer to look at things realistically and live in the moment. not a future I can't see. and in this moment i'm stuck in a shitty anti-lgbt state with unsupportive and unaccepting family who don't treat me very well and no irl friends i can trust and rely on. no one can say that will for certain change in the future. things don't always magically change for the better and if you aren't prepared for that, you'll always be stuck in one place, waiting. i'm not being negative. it's more dynamic than that. it's more "I need an alternative in case this truly is a dead end." i'm simply not getting my hopes up for disappointment and fooling myself into believing that doing nothing and waiting will help, while life passes me by.

but I also can't do anything. because I don't know how/what to do

and by can't do anything I don't mean in life in general. I mean about getting out of my parents house so I can be free from them and fond a safe and comfortable place. I can't afford it alone obviously. I unfortunately need other people on my life, as much as i wish i could be a lone gremlin human and never need others. and that's the part I have no clue how to do. if the only humans who want me aren't attainable, then what? i've tried for over a decade and only had failures because people are unreliable and turn on me without warning, after i'm the only one who puts effort into trying to help us escape our situations. i'm TIRED. I can't keep trying to do everything alone and end up hurt and betrayed by fake friends. i'm so tired.

(if anyone reads this, don't try to comfort me because it won't work. if you relate, you can share that because that's fine. if you want to help me by being a candian who can sponsor me to move there then that's even more acceptable 🤣 if you find you cant stand me after im permanently there, i'll appreciate your help and let you go lmao)

#autistic #asexual #aroace #aromantic #nonbinary #transgender #dating #relationships #why an i even bothering to tag this? it's a useless ramble and really dumb rant lmao #it feels kinda embarrassing to suddenly care about dating after 30 years of NOT. but its for a good cause. i need my found family.....#lowkey hope no one is reading these dumb posts lmao. i noticed i got a handful of followers here now. dont look!!! 🫠#i internally laugh at desperate people who think dating will solve all their problems and now here i am #wanting to date to solve a problem thar can probably only be solved that way LOL #but it is kind of different. im not desperate for someone to date for love and affection and attention #i just need help and support for a goal i cant realistically reach alone 🥲

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