#and he's completely alone and the only thing getting him through is this growing hatred and rage

[kaeddehara]

pervert oneshot ideas <3

୨⋆ albedo + xiao + tighnari + aether + kazuha ୧⋆

[ nsfw, mdni!!, cursing, for afab!reader ]

usual perverted acts, dirty thoughts, touch deprived bedo, looking up your skirt <33, perversion through dirty thoughts

albedo is very cold yet kind hearted upon appearance. as you grow closer to him, he’s slowly willing to open himself up. having such a pretty boy at your will is certainly dangerous in certain circumstances. not to worry though, albedo can take over when you can’t. he’s oh so good at switching from a soft spoken and quite demeanor to a needy, clingy one in just a few quick touches. meaning, you are his complete weakness. even things you have no remembrance of doing, albedo remembers so clearly in his pretty head. this includes all things. so the time you bent over in front of his desk to pick up your pen and he saw up your skirt, panties tight on your cute pussy lips wasn’t an exception. albedo is very observant but sometimes this gift can be a very large distraction to his work. trying so hard to work on finishing up some papers but all his mind is running to is you between his legs the night before or even just your pretty lips or smile. it drives albedo crazy knowing how big of a distraction you are to his work. it’s only until you start to realize what an effect you have on the poor boy that he breaks. teasing him time after time till he can’t take it and pushes you down so he can have his way with you. “finally gonna stop being a little pervert and fuck me like a real man bedo?” that’s all you needed to shut him down real quick. causing him to lunge at you and take you right on his desk. <3

possessive xiao, very slight cnc??, perversion through obsession <3

xiao is never one to go out of his way for anyone unless absolutely deemed necessary. but for you, he will do anything and everything to have you right by his side. so possessive over what’s his. it wouldn’t be a surprise if he were to catch you chatting to another man; noticing how he looks at you and the way his hand brushes over your skin. to you, this is a simple his eyes are filled with hatred and it takes so much for him to hold back until you’re alone. swiftly grabbing you and pulling you to a lone location. you’re all confused and begging him to slow down and explain to you what the rush was. like you weren’t the one letting that man look at you and touch you like that. just that was enough to break xiao and need to remind you that you were his. “x-xiao please i only want you” “let me prove it, i don’t want to have to keep punishing you for this” truth was, he loved punishing you. from the way you begged him to slow down or stop to the way your body begged for more even as your words were completely different from what your body was saying. xiao loved it all. pushing you against the wall at his stay at the end as he pounded into you panting and growling like an animal, it was exactly what you loved about him too <3.

mentions of jerking off, riding pent up aether hiwjdjwjfjs, perversion through touch deprivation :((

aether is such a sweet, helpful boy. always willing to go out of his way for others and spend time with them. it’s what drew so many people towards him. just how kind hearted he was. along with his adorable appearance, it was surprising how people weren’t all over him. although, while aether appeared so willing the truth was, he was exhausted. he never liked to tell another though for fear they wouldn’t rely on him like they once did. that was until he found you. someone he could open up to a bit. it took a lot of time to get used to someone so willing to help him out and loving him for him not his deeds or charisma. you’d find him so run down and tired you’d instantly go to take care of him. but when aether finally got the courage to ask for something more from you, you were all over him. usually, he’d stick to just jerking himself off for relief on his body, but once you got into the picture, he couldn’t resist. pushing him back against a comfortable seat and straddling his lap. he was so unused to being touched by another. once you got down to it, you could tell this is really all he needed. to be ridden till he couldn’t even think for himself. even while you took care of aether you couldn’t help but tease little things out of him. saying how you saw and heard him those nights furiously pumping his aching cock, begging for anything to help him feel better. it was adorable. aether just panted and smiled to himself at how you knew about him. “do the knights know what a little pervert they have as their honorary knight?” aether could only keep panting and letting out half filled sentences that meant nothing. his pretty blonde hair sticking to his skin and face sheen with sweat. so dirty for someone so sweet looking <3.

perversion through wet dreams, he just misses you tbh, sweet kazu :))

kazuha aches for how you feel. everything about your touch is so intoxicating to him he can’t resist. even after he’s gotten what he’s wanted or if not, he’ll always have it on his sweet little mind. even as he tries to fall asleep, it’s filled with thoughts of you sweet or lust filled. this usually leads to kazuha drifting off to sleep rather quickly alone by himself. as he finds himself asleep comfortably, his mind will start to play images and records of you and him together. all those memories coming into his dream. whether that was fucking you with your legs pushed up to your chest or riding him till his legs started to shake from pleasure. it was all so intoxicatingly dreamy. he might find himself waking up in the middle of the night, woken up from his dreams still fresh in his mind. he’ll sit up panting with an impressive hard on this late at all. all from those dreams and thoughts of you of course. “if only you knew what you did to me, love”. to relieve himself for the time being, he’ll lazily push his waist band down on his pants and wrap his thin fingers around his thick, pulsating cock just begging to be touched by you. sleepily jerking himself off as his dirty mind continues thoughts of you.

pervert tig is the best tig, panty stealing <33, honestly just him getting off on your smell

tighnari seems like the type to not want to get too close to anyone. always off so focused in his work, it’s hard to even see him being genuinely invested in a relationship. that was, until you appeared and helped him out of this mindset. not only were you on the same level as him in terms of smarts, but also had amazing wit and sense of self. tighnari couldn’t help his beating heart when he stared at you even from a distance, tail slowly started to shake at mere thoughts of you. it took a little longer for him to actually call him yours but once he did, he got straight to the point. coming into your room late at night ( to keep suspension away from the others ) as he looked around for anything that could be used for this. ending up with your shirt and a pair of used panties you’d worn that day. tighnari couldn’t help the guilt building up in his stomach as just your scent was enough to get him off. “you smell so good..hm..” hell whine to himself all the while he’s got your panties wrapped around his pent up cock. tighnari dreamed of the day you two would finally be able to enjoy each other fully so he could stop these disgusting, perverted acts. until then, he’d just have to keep this dirty secret kept to himself for now.

#kaeddehara #genshin smut #genshin x reader #genshin men #genshin xiao #genshin imagines #albedo smut #xiao smut #kazuha smut #aether smut #aether x reader #xiao genshin x reader #xiao headcanons #kazuha genshin x reader #kazuha x reader #tighnari genshin #tighnari smut #tighnari #i <3 albedo #albedo kreideprinz #genshin headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin impact headcanons #genshin related #rumi : masterlist genshin! 🌀

[eldritch-spouse]

You swear you saw a glint of sadness in his expression. It might be presumptuous to ask but you feel the need to. Turning away from foraging for food, you look up at the god “Protector Saudramar, how has your day been going? You seem… lost in thought.”

He had been staring off for a while now, beyond the sea gently swaying before him, beyond his powers, dominions and virtues soaring dutifully through the skies. Saudramar looked past the clouds and saw the edges of Eden as the annex gently orbited Earth.

There's no words to describe the utter impotence he feels.

To be the pinnacle of perfection as a Protector yet desire so much more, know that he's capable of so much more but completely powerless to take his place amongst the great Fathers and Mothers. Born to see others fit into place like puzzle pieces while he's doomed to push against the walls of his cage.

Nothing he does can fill the void that's been growing in the siadar's very core. Every single day, boiling rage and vicious envy turn him into an increasingly sour shell of his former self. The pain of his own existence grows heavier on his weary shoulders and he retreats into his own mind to avoid putting those who have been entrusted to him at risk.

Most of these sentiments are unleashed in the great battles against Perdition and the Betrayer's growing forces. He has looked the first fiends in the face as he slayed their kin effortlessly, never a hint of fear to be found in his brilliant ocean eyes, just monumental hatred projected onto the abominations created by a rebel.

It was different, this time.

As he held one of those slithering, disgusting, deformed parodies of celestials- It had stared at him. In a way none had before.

It saw him. It saw the real him.

And the way that foul creature laughed in Saudramar's face made him pause.

You and Them are not so different.

It had rasped, bloodied and broken.

You live in the shadows of those that are inferior to you, as did They once.

Look at us now.

Saudramar couldn't kill it. He couldn't even process what was said to him in that moment. He launched the demonic lifeform into the bowels of its own degenerate annex and moved on. But those words, hissed through chipped teeth and a slithering tongue, held only truth, engraved themselves in his soul.

And the realization alone leaves a taste in the Protector's mouth he hasn't been able to wash off.

The Betrayer is a reflection of him.

The very things he's mercilessly slaughtering with others of his cast are no more than unauthorized creations, in an unauthorized annex, designed by a siadar who was also unhappy with their role in the universe.

Except, that one was strong enough to achieve a modicum of their vision, if only just for a glimpse in time. A window of self-fulfilment worth more than an entire existence of conformity.

What is he doing?

...

The sound of your soft voice has Saudramar snapping his gaze towards you, hardened stare gradually receding.

" Lesser. "

He has a complicated view of humanity. As much as he is unbelievably fond of your design, he's also of the opinion that this project was much too ambitious. The fruits of aimless impulse from Creators who, to him, have neither a plan nor a solution for the trouble your kind will eventually brew.

Alas, you are his favorite so far. Saudramar has witnessed many lessers be born and succumb to age, and not one was as captivating as you. He can't place what it is about you yet that's so appealing, but the Protector knows he'd like to keep you closer, the same way some other casts get to perform binding ceremonies with their favored.

You are his chosen.

But Saudramar won't burden you with that.

The god shakes his head.

" Fret not. Do you require my assistance? "

You smile, relieved. " No, my Lord. " There's a pause, you can clearly tell he's upset, and the siadar chides himself for displaying weakness like that to one of his entrusted.

" Was today's battle exhausting? "

He observes you forage idly.

" Never. Every day Perdition suffers the righteousness it deserves, and I am only fueled by its destruction. "

Saudramar squats when you look into his eyes. A pallid, beautiful hand reaches out, brushing over yours. One set of eyes studies the contrast, another keeps your attention on him.

" Not once shall the filth of the impure taint your sight. The land you step upon is under my protection, and harm will fall upon those who conceive of desecrating it. "

You hold onto his hand with both of yours, and Saudramar feels his chest blossom with a sensation that chases away the thunder in his soul for the briefest of moments.

" Can we cook for you tonight, Protector? " You offer, and Saudramar is thankful no one else is around to see the way he bleeds adoration through his stare.

" Of course, my lesser. "

He will have to hide you away from the seraphim this upcoming Spring, the though of you paired to another lesser is displeasing at best. None of the males here are of enough quality to impregnate you. You are exemplary, a perfect specimen.

Saudramar will protect you.

That's one thing he'll always be able to do, no matter what the future may bring.

" Now, finish. Night will fall soon. "

#Krulu oc #tce rp ask

[callsignmarz]

MDNI | 18+ | König x Reader

TW: mentions of knife play, weapons, explicit language, sexual content, bondage/chains.

“Prisoner of War.” PT.2

A creditable sigh eases itself out while König watches the consequential duel between bravado and submission in your irises. Sliding his finger out from the depths of your mouth, a residual smile is left clinging onto your lips.

“I'm a whore who you desperately crave to have control over."

The words fell from your mouth with little to no trouble at all, dripping with the appalling truth. Underneath the hood, König's upper lip plucked in annoyance but he held his unwavering gaze as you taunted him with a giggle.

"Ich hasse dich. (I hate you.)"

He didn’t deny it.

How could he?

Though truth be told, hatred was the vital element that pumped through his veins all those years of tracking you down, infatuated on the day when you would finally meet your demise.

But now, you were finally at his mercy.

As it should've been from the very beginning.

In turn, you couldn’t care less if he hated you or not. All you needed was to buy enough time to make an escape and if you had to go to the extreme...then so fucking be it.

"I don't think you hate me, König. In fact, I think it's the complete opposite of that."

"Do tell, meine schatz. Because if I remember correctly, you've been nothing but a monumental pain in my ass the last few years."

"Oh, please." You scoffed. "Don't act like it didn't get your dick hard every time you saw my ass get away."  

Growing tired of your petulance, his hand forcibly clasped onto either side of your cheeks to shut you up, squeezing them uncomfortably with powerful pressure, painful enough to leave bruises beneath the pads of his fingers.

This act alone, furthered to prove your point.

His milky blue eyes, become the only thing you see as he gets in your face and whispers a new threat, one that catches you completely off guard and has you pooling in your panties.

"We'll see how much talking you'll be doing after I fuck that tight ass of yours." A sinister smile ghosts over his lips and under the hood.

The metal of the chains, collide together, sharp and angry as König rips away the chair beneath you, it skids across the floor until it crashes against the concrete wall.

In seconds, you found yourself laying flat over the table, baring your teeth as his fingers were replaced by a tactical knife, the cool steel pressing into your skin and you feel the warmth of your blood leaking down your face like thick sap oozing from a maple tree.

Your heart begins to race at a unhealthy rate with predilection igniting your nerve ending when he kicks your feet apart to position himself behind you.

"Was? (What?) Too scared to say something smart now?”

König chuckles with his eyes darkening as he gently drags the dull part of the blade from your cheek, down your neckline and roaming your back freely.

"If you didn't cause so many fucking problems for everyone, I think you and I could've...worked something out."

A fervid chill charges down your spine at the sound of his hand undoing his belt and khakis with no difficulty, leaving plenty of space for his bulge to swell as he pressed against your perfect ass.

"I bet I won't even feel a thing." You blatantly lie through your teeth.

"Hartnäckige Sache. (Stubborn thing.)" He rasped with a hidden smirk while his eyes raked over your curves, imagining how your body would looked with nothing on.

"I promise, you're going to feel all of me."

Smoothly, he reaches around, taking his sweet time to unbutton and tug your cargo pants down, bunching them mid-thigh. His cock shivers with palpable need when his eyes fall on the thin waistband of your black thong before soaking in the soft curvature you were blessed with.

"So perfekt. (So perfect.)"

Your breath hitches at leathery feel of König's gloves, tracing and caressing your delicate skin. With your mind spinning in all directions, you hardly didn't notice that you had rose to your tip toes, your body grinding into him, fueling the flames of libido.

Between your ragged breaths, you purr.

“Are you just going to stand there or are you going to fuck me stupid like a real man?"

#call of duty #cod mw2 #call of duty fanfic #mw2 imagine #spotify #konig x y/n #konig modern warfare #konig smut #konig x you #konig call of duty #konig mw2 #konig cod #konig x reader #wattpad #ao3 writer #ao3 fanfic #könig smut #smut

[writtenonreceipts]

Rowaelin Month Day Twenty-Seven: Touch Starved @rowaelinscourt

Link to Month Masterlist

Guess who is back on her regularly scheduled angsty angst? It’s me. 

Warnings: mentions of a arent death. Hurt/comfort in the form of grief.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

All Your Ways, All Your Thunder

The changing seasons always had a way of leaving a brand of melancholy on Rowan’s soul.  He never knew exactly what it was or why it came, but when the days began to grow shorter and cooler…Rowan’s own mood would shift completely and he found himself drowning in the past.

No matter what he did or how he prepared--he never was ready for it to happen.

He didn’t know who he could talk to or how he could explain it.  He’d never been allowed to express these thoughts, his feelings when he was growing up.  His da had never been the emotional type and his mother always thought he was the perfect child who never struggled.  And as he’d grown up, trying to express himself and actually talk had never come easily.  

And today with that distinct chill crawling through the air and the fact that it was the two-year anniversary of his da passing—Rowan figured it was as good a day as any to wallow.  That’s what people did, wasn’t it?  They’d let themselves collapse beneath the weight of it all and dwell on how miserable things had become.  And then the feelings would pass and it would be alright.

So, Rowan returned to his apartment after a particularly long day at work and dropped onto his couch as he waited for the past to wash over him.

Only…it never came.

He could feel it burrowed beneath his chest, right next to his heart.  And slowly it leeched into his lungs.  But all it did was linger right on the cusp of his brain.

And all there was, was silence.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay there, sprawled out on the couch with one arm thrown over his head.  But it was long enough for the shadows of the living room to shift and the room to darken.  He knew he should get up and eat dinner.  Maybe he’d order take out so he wouldn’t have to think about anything or actually get up.

What he did know was that he had to do something to fix this mood.  It wouldn’t do well to wallow in his own misery.

Sighing, Rowan fumbled for his phone that had dropped on the floor.  He found there was already a missed message from Aelin that had him loosing a breath of relief.

>>Aelin: i hate fenrys

>>Aelin: he stole the chocolate i was saving for after my meeting with maeve this afternoon

>>Aelin: and ate it in front of me

>>Aelin: may end up murdering him

Rowan smiled at the messages, already feeling better at just seeing her name.  It was simple, and maybe a little stupid, but he could feel the wariness of the day sifting away.

Another message came in.

>>Aelin: what r you doing tonight?

He could lie and tell her he was busy.  Caught up in case notes or meetings.  Or say he was at the gym. Or--

<<Rowan: nothing 

<<Rowan: come over?

>>Aelin: be there in twenty.

…

In the five years of knowing Aelin Galathynius, four of those had been spent in animosity.  Between her arrogance, his pride, and the underlying mutual hatred that bloomed from nothing more than meeting at the wrong time—Rowan and Aelin could never manage to stand in the same room together, let alone have a civil conversation

Until one night with too much alcohol and just enough loosened inhibitions.  It wasn’t supposed to be anything more than that.  They’d said it wouldn’t happen again, that they’d both been lonely, the tequila was to blame.

And then it did.  

After six months of sneaking around, they’d almost gotten caught a few times.  And considering how stubborn they both were, they didn’t want to admit to their friends that they were dating.  If that was what you’d call this.  Rowan wasn’t seeing anyone else and he knew she wasn’t either.  They spent most weekends together and texted entirely too much.  But they’d never labeled what they were.  And it had never really bothered Rowan, hell his track record with relationships was a joke that labels were hardly worth it.

Eventually, Rowan forced himself off of the couch and managed to change into sweats and a t-shirt.  No use for Aelin seeing him in such a state.  He didn’t expect anything out of the night and knew that she didn’t either.  They’d eat and then end up watching Netflix or busting out the PlayStation.  Aelin was extremely competitive when it came to Mario Kart.

When Aelin arrived twenty-five minutes later, she let herself in using a key he had given her.  It had been a random thing he hadn’t thought about—she’d needed a place to stay while her apartment was getting renovations done and his place was closer to her work—and he’d just never asked for the key back.

“I brought pizza!” Aelin announced.  The heels she wore clicked soundly on the hardwood. “I know it’s not part of your meal plan, but it sounded good.”

Rowan, who found himself back on the couch, laughed humorlessly. “You got extra cheese, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Aelin said. “And then I got that chicken and artichoke thing you like on thin crust.  Honestly, it’s not pizza at that point, buzzard.”

He watched as she set the pizza boxes on his kitchen table, kicking off her shoes so they were right in the middle of the floor.  Her tight, red pencil skirt hugged her curves perfectly, the black blouse hanging neatly and only emphasizing her golden skin.  Even on a random weekday, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.

“Maeve sent out assignments for that new project,” Aelin said as she grabbed plates and a roll of paper towels from the cupboard. “Stuck me with Kaltain and Graves.  So you know I’m going to get stuck with all the work.”

Rowan listened as she talked and bounced around the kitchen.  She was so at home being there, as if it were second nature to make sure the fridge shut properly or the one drawer didn’t catch when you opened it a certain way.

She portioned out a few slices for each of them and brought soda and the paper towel over to the couch with her.

“Thanks,” Rowan said, accepting his plate from her.

Aelin settled beside him, tucking her feet up on the coffee table.  Already she was taking a massive bite of her pepperoni and mushroom with extra cheese.  

“Howwasurda?” she asked around her mouthful of pizza.

Rowan rolled his eyes and threw a paper towel at her. “Fine.  Nothing terrible.”

In truth, most of the day was a blur.  He’d been so caught up in his own thoughts, his own worries, that he really hadn’t noticed if it had been good or bad.  Though, he’d left his office door closed and ignored his phone for most of it so that had to help.

Aelin pursed her lips but didn’t press the issue.

He knew he shouldn’t have invited her over if he wasn’t even going to try and talk to her, knew that just sitting in silence wasn’t her idea of a good time, but even just having her near was enough to make him feel better.

He knew he could have gone to the bar and Lorcan, Fenrys, and the others would have joined him without hesitation.  He would have gotten tipsy enough to forget what day it was and that would have been more than fine with him.  Today was not a day he wanted to endure sober, but he’d done it.  Forced to relive memory after memory of his dad and wonder what he could have done differently as a son.  It wasn’t a good spiral to go down and would have been much more enjoyable if accompanied by Fenrys doing something stupid to distract him or Lorcan who would just keep sliding him beer the moment he knew something was wrong.

“Hey,” Aelin whispered after a long stretched of silence.  She reached a hand across the couch to brush through his hair, clearing the messy strands from his eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Unconsciously, Rowan leaned into touch.  It had only been two days since they’d last been together but her touch was so gentle and easy that he fell into it easily.

“Nothing,” he said, even though the lie was far to easy to spot.

“You had a bad day?” Her fingers trailed down his cheek to his jaw and it would have been so easy to melt against her.

He didn’t know how to tell her everything that was on his mind.  Didn’t want to say it was the anniversary of his dad passing or that he just wanted to touch her, to linger in this moment a little while longer.  It all just felt too heavy on his tongue, so Rowan shrugged in response.

Aelin didn’t seem to like that.  She gathered the empty plates and wadded up paper towels and tossed them onto the coffee table.  And then before Rowan could ask what she was doing, Aelin grabbed his arm and pulled him toward her.

“C’mere,” she said.  She made no room for arguments as she kept him close, curling against him even until her skirt and blouse were askew.

Aelin said nothing else as she wrapped her arms around him, one hand burrowing in his hair and the other running patterns against the skin of his neck.  She even hooked one knee around his hip until they were utterly flush against each other, curled on the couch in the dying light of dusk.

Rowan was certain he was smothering Aelin but she wouldn’t let him move.  All she did was continue to hold him, one hand ticking softly at the nape of his neck.  He couldn’t remember the last time he’d been held like this, the last time he’d felt this level of comfort.

“It’s alright,” Aelin murmured. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

She didn’t know it, but those were the exact words his mother had told him the day of the funeral, the day they’d gone to pick up his father’s ashes, the day they’d sat in the car staring out at the dense forest trying to decide how you mourned the end of a life and how you moved on from it.

Rowan couldn’t help the shuddering breath the rippled through him as he wrapped his own arms around Aelin, crushing her to him.  She didn’t mind though.  Not as he pressed his face to the crook of her neck and pulled her blouse out of her skirt so he could reach her bare skin.  She didn’t mind as he held on as though she were his lifeline.

He didn’t know if they would talk about it later, didn’t know what he would say if they did.  But for that moment, Rowan let himself remain wrapped in her, this woman who had come to mean more to him than he could even begin to describe.

.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.

tags are dumb as per usual

#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowan x aelin #throne of glass #tog #fanfiction

[twixcake]

• Writing this for anyone struggling with: Alopecia, hair loss, thin hair, diseases, etc A few people i know have alopecia, and I think it's beautiful so I wrote this.

•.Black female reader in mind, but no specifics except hair texture. Sanji x F!reader

• Word count: 1.9k

• ⚠️: Self doubt, self hatred, depression, body dysphoria. Goes through the process of losing more hair, and shaving it off completely.

"Do you need any more help in the kitchen?" You looked over at your boyfriend. Everyone left the dining hall an hour ago, and it was only the two of you left. Cleaning up the mess as usual.

"No, I'm ok baby" Sanji turned to you as he washed the last few remaining dishes. "You haven't had a bath yet right?" He puffed out some smoke from his cigarette. The cherry glowing on his slender fingers before he rubbed your back. "No, I haven't. I guess I should huh? I've been cleaning all day, my hair got messy too." He hummed. "Go relax Ma chérie, i'll take care of the dishes and then I'll join you in the sh—" You instantly shake your head to the request. He turns to you, taking out his cigarette. His eyes filled with concern. "Are you ok my love? Did I say something wrong?"

You shake your head again and rub your arm timidly. "I think I'll just bathe alone tonight. Besides, I need to wash my hair. It takes me all night, and you look tired so.."

He hums lightly before placing the clean dishes in the cupboards. He opened his mouth to speak, his eyes filled with concern before you left a tender kiss on the side of his cheek. "Goodnight Sanji, I'll see you In bed ok?" He nods, not really able to speak before you skip out of the kitchen and into the bathroom and lock the door.

You stretch your arms a bit in the mirror before taking off your long wig. The curls bouncing up as you lift it off your head. If it was up to you, you'd keep it on. But you needed to treat the matted mess underneath your wig cap if you wanted to see any progress. "Ok.." You mumble before pulling out your cosmetics bag. "I need to try Dr. Miracles enhance oil after I wash my hair with…Dammit where is it?!"

You move items out of the bag before you pull out a small shampoo bottle. The big fat label meeting your gaze 'Hair growth'..

"Perfect!" You exclaimed, before stripping the rest of your clothes off and dipping yourself in the comfortable water.

You peeled off your wig cap before throwing it to the floor. Your hands immediately snuggling over your matted hair.

"Holy shit— I actually think it's growing!" You smile a bit at the long feeling in your hair. A bit upset you didn't check first in the mirror of how much was actually growing. "Alright.." You exhale, before unraveling your braids, and dipping your head into the warm water.

Your thoughts drifted to a certain blonde, and how soon it'd be when youd face him with thick, long hair. Your real hair. Not that wig or the extensions you always wore with confidence around the ship. You definitely arent going to miss how hot it burned with it on in the sun, or how itchy it got at night when you cuddled up to Sanji in bed. Or how guilty you get when you turn down sanjis requests to run his slender fingers through your scalp with your favorite shampoo.

No, you weren't going to miss any of that.

But, they did make you happy..and comfortable. You wouldn't mind experiencing freedom and control with your hair though. In fact it was what you were hoping for.

You were starting to wonder what would happen if Sanji saw you without the wig as you are now. Large bald spots and thinning strands that kept you worked up no matter how many times you tried to fix it. Oils, body therapy, fruits vegetables, diets, shampoos, and therapy. You've tried it all. The routine you're building now, being one of the many attempts.

Was it all for nothing? Did your hair actually grow or were you just imagining things?

Would he be disgusted? Ashamed of you?

Honestly, you didn't want to find out. Good thing you have the wigs. For now.

"Ok…time for shampoo then I gotta braid my hair again!" You lifted your hair out of the tub. You noticed how after your hair met contact with the water, already some of it started to fall off your head.

"Shit…" you mumbled, a bit nervous to continue scrubbing your hair, but you comply. Lightly, and hesitantly scrubbing your scalp. Feeling all the open spots where hair should be.

It was disappointing, yet again another treatment didn't work. You weren't seeing progress. In fact, as you scrubbed more hair fell out. No matter how softly you rubbed, or how lightly you brushed your hair.

It still came out.

"No—nonononono" You stopped washing your hair once a huge chunk came out and into your palm. You get out of the tub and rush for the mirror, your breath heavier and your chest tight while you struggle to open the bathroom door.

"SHIT!! PLEASE—" You stumble your way from the bathroom to the mirror. Your hands gripping the edge of the sink.

Most of your hair was gone, only to be replaced by big spots.

You felt like you could faint. The hopes you had of having control over your hair are gone. In replacement is just…nothing.

Well, almost nothing. There's still tiny amounts of hair…but it's thin. It won't last long…

"FUCK…NO" Your breath hitches before you let out a sob, a scream? Does it really matter? Tears fall down your face while you examine yourself in the mirror. You felt like all the control you had, was gone. You couldn't help but let out a wail as you threw your hair products on the ground. Some cracking at the hard blows.

"Y/N, love…are you ok?" A soft knock could be heard at the door. Your eyes widen before you gulp down your broken voice, trying not to whine. It was almost painful to hold back. "S-Sanji…yes I'm ok..I'm fine" You breathed heavily, trying to put on your wig.

"You don't sound fine baby. Can you open the door?"

Your heart sank to your stomach as you let out a breathy "yes". You didn't have time to put the wig on, so you dumped it under a few towels before covering your head up with a large towel and slowly opening the door.

Your boyfriend stood in the door, worry plastered on his face as he looked at you. His eyes softened once he saw how puffy and red your eyes were. "Baby…" He moved swiftly inside the bathroom before locking the door behind him. His fingers instantly come up to your face as he wipes away the remaining tears.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" You shake you head softly before he starts checking your face and body for any marks or injuries. "Sanji wait—" You grip the towel wrapped around your head and body before he can pull it off. "What's wrong?" He rubbed his thumb on your cheek, the action making your throat clench back a whine..You felt dizzy, confused, hideous.

You didn't want him to see you like this.

"I just..I don't" You couldn't talk, the big lump in your throat grew every time you even dared. You sank to the bathroom floor, clutching the towel over your body. He kneeled down with you,his hands wrapping around your waist before pulling you into his lap. Your wet body dampened his suit, but he didn't seem to care.

He kissed your forehead repeatedly while rubbing your back. "Sanji…it's gone" He kissed your head more,his voice was low and soft. "What's gone, baby?" You hiccup as the knot in your throat finally lets go. Letting out a long wail.

He rubbed your back while his lips mumbled soft words of comfort on your cheek. "It's ok, it's ok…I'm here..let it out"

You shake your head against his chest. Your eyes were almost swollen at that point. "No it's not ok! Everything is-"

He could see you were distraught..but about what? He didn't want to force you to talk if you weren't comfortable. But what was he supposed to do?

He held you closer to him and rested his chin on the top of your head as you cried.

Minutes later you calmed down a bit, wiping your tears with the back of your free hand while the other gripped the towel for dear life.

"Sweetheart, look at me" He gently moved his hand under your chin, his slender fingers rubbing gently against your swollen throat. You peeked your puffy eyes up at him, he gave a small smile before kissing your cheeks. "There she is, that's my baby…"

You hiccuped again before letting your eyes rest closed. Your grip on the towel slightly less tight as you relaxed in his touch. He kissed your nose before rubbing the small of your back.

"My hair…" you bit your lip, eyes darting away from his. "It's gone..most of its gone"

"Your hair?" You nodded again before he hesitantly put his hand behind the back of your head. "Can I…? Take it off sweetheart? I promise you're safe with me."

Your grip on the towel instantly came back. You breathed out, his eyes looking at you worried. "Ok.."

He slowly took off the towel, seeing your hair... Your real hair for the first time.

You covered your face with your hands in embarrassment and shame before his gentle cold fingers pulled them away to give you soft kisses.

"Don't look at me…I'm hideous" the knot on your throat started to tie again. His brows furrowed before kissing your head all over. His long fingers coming to rub and massage the backs of your head and neck while you silently cried in his arms.

"Don't you dare say that…ever again. You're beautiful"

"NO- I'm not!! It's gone! It's all gone…"

You feel him take a deep breath and he kisses you on the temple. "Its ok love...its ok"

His soft words made you cry harder.

"Come here. Come on sweetheart. You need to sit." He lifts you up and places you on the sink counter while wiping your puffy eyes. "You're beautiful…" He mumbled against your head as he placed kisses around all your insecurities.

"You're everything to me, and I will never stop loving you...no matter what happens…ok?" "You're breathtaking..with or without hair Y/N"

You nod against his shoulder as he rubs a circle between your shoulders.

After a moment, when you felt steady enough to walk again, he takes the towel from your head. "Here..I'll help you get through this ok?"

He kisses your cheek. "What do you want to do? I'll help you sweetheart"

You thought for a second.

You wanted to try using something other than the care products. They either didn't work, or they made it worse...you were tired of seeing the patches of what was left of your hair. So you said the first thing that popped into your head.

"Cut it off…"

He nodded almost immediately before lifting you off the sink onto his lap again.

He gave your head a last soft kiss before taking the hair clippers and shaving off what remained of your hair.

His hand came to rest with yours as he kissed your head.

"It's gone….' You whine before burying your head on his chest. He rubs your back softly before the machine turns on again.

Your eyes instantly open as you feel soft petals of hair fall on your cheeks.

Blonde petals of hair.

"SANJI—"

He kissed your forehead repeatedly before the machine turned off again. He smiled down at you. You couldn't help but smile too along with a few tears down your cheeks.

"Thank you…"

#sanji fluff #sanji angst #one piece x you #one piece x reader #black reader #blackreader #fluff #comfort #sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #one piece x black!reader #sanji x black reader #alopecia #one piece angst #alopecia reader

[sweeetrandall]

Im gonna talk about personalities (and autism) in professor layton for a second, especially in miracle mask.

it is very tragic that layton isn’t even really his own person. Like he was struck with death during a time he was still struggling to form his own identity. He really was sort of just following Randall around and letting him take him by the hand and thrust him into anything. This is a relationship I found myself in again and again growing up, getting “adopted” by an extroverted kid and then getting all my social connections through them.

This kind of relationship makes it easy to lose your own personhood as it takes away nearly all your agency in terms of your social life. You begin surrounding yourself with people and personalities that match whoever adopted you rather than your own tastes, and you begin conforming in order to survive more or less.

This sounds pretty tragic, and in some ways it is, but it’s a lot better (and easier) than being alone, which often happens if you don’t get “taken in”.

I think Randall was an overall good influence on Hershel and positive presence in his life. It just happens that Hershel himself seems to have been especially prone to this sort of thing, to the point such a lack of personal identity (or, at least, instability in finding it) caused him to completely adopt Randall’s passions and interests out of sheer guilt, almost as if he owed him a debt. After all, it’s easy to feel indebted to the person who goes out of their way to talk to the “autistic kid” …. Part of this could easily be because Hershel had already begun integrating Randall’s interests into himself (likely subconsciously as part of this survival mechanism) and being suddenly ripped away from this it was pushed to an extreme as a way of filling that void.

Hersh also shows signs of generally not thinking much of himself. Being a more secluded kid makes it easy to develop this kind of self image…and also why having a friend who constantly encourages you like Randall is so intoxicating.

We see Hershel time and time again say how he isn’t that interested in archaeology or puzzles, nor is he confident in his ability to do either - to the point he actively expects himself to get incorrect answers, as his puzzle solve animation shows a brace for a huge “INCORRECT” sign only to be surprised he found a solution.

Meanwhile, Randall is the face of confidence.

I don’t need to point out how next time we see Hershel, he has faith in his own puzzle solving abilities - “My intuition should serve me well”, even taking from Randall’s personal lexacon, “Critical thinking is the key to success.”

I won’t ignore the grief and guilt, as the role it plays is obvious. I only want to point out how instead of being the source itself of Hershel’s radical adoption of Randall’s personality, I read it more as an extreme driver of an already existing tendency to mimic those around him as a sort of survival mechanism. In times of crisis these mechanisms are put into overdrive.

(As others have pointed out, this also happens with Claire and the gentleman persona she encouraged him into, but that’s another subject.)

I also want to examine this in Randall himself, since we see a pretty interesting inversion of Hershel’s situation on his part.

The risk-taking, erratic behavior we see in Randall is something I’m pretty sure stems from his hatred for his father and the general life he is made to live. A stuffy mansion doesn’t suit him, if his kind of goofy outfit has anything to say about it. He stands in stark contrast to the other rich Stansbury kid, Dalston, who is altogether enthusiastic about business and wealth.

Where I think this gets especially interesting is when Randall falls into Akbadain. Having experienced a “reset”, he quickly adapts to his new life. He isn’t an entirely different person - he still has proficiency in puzzles as Firth/Tannenbaum tells us.

And if his reaction to Descole’s letter was anything to go by, he’s still as impulsive and emotionally driven as ever.

What we get to see from his time in Craggy Dale is a Randall relieved of his old life - no smothering father, no family fortune, no mansion. In fact, we get a life that is essentially a polar opposite, complete with a loving adoptive father and slow-paced life that “tames the wildest of hearts”. Being allowed to breathe and live slowly creates a Randall who, while still brainy and enthusiastic, is radically different from the Randall Hershel, Henry, and Angela knew.

This is why the ending of Miracle Mask sort of bothers me, as I fully believe Randall would not want to pick up where he left of when he was 17. He literally got himself “killed” living that life, likely pushed and simultaneously blinded by the pressure from his family, which mixed horribly with his own impulsivity and need for freedom. I would imagine growing up in a mansion causes you to develop a less than realistic view of life and your own abilities.

This is where Hersh comes back in, as it’s pretty serendipitous in my eyes that the person he “absorbed” the personality of happened to move on from that personality in a pretty dramatic way. This way there isn’t any sort of doppelganger tension. Ultimately, Randall did want Hershel to develop an interest in archaeology and puzzles, and it seems he’s satisfied with that.

(also I think it’s a little bit creepy that they had Randall adopt the same haircut and glasses he had when he was 17 with a “now you’re back to normal” attitude, going off what I just discussed, but I digress)

Essentially, it’s crystal clear to me how Hershel developed his personality considering his upbringing eerily reflecting the way I survived as an autistic kid, and the fact much of Randall’s personality/life direction was derived from the circumstances of the life he later shed makes it kind of poetic. At the end of it all I think they have a lot to learn from each other just as they did when they were teens, especially from the experience they gained since then.

#miracle mask #hershel layton

[saline-coelacanth]

Since I have the Bad Endings Au on the brain, I wanna ramble a bit about Jay and Cole because every time I think about them I start to go feral (in a good way)

I'll put some of it under a cut since this gets pretty long

Jay and Cole parallel each other soo well that it's kind of crazy since it wasn't entirely intentional, it just sort of happened that way. So looking at their backstories, they're pretty similar. Both of them felt mistreated by the other ninja to the point where they wanted to take revenge on them. Both of them defeated the ninja when given the chance, but in the end they both handled it in completely different ways.

Cole very quickly was overcome with guilt. Morro called him out on what he did and it immediately hit him like a brick. He didn't feel good about what he did and it began to spiral into some self hatred and he eventually became very apathetic. He had killed his friends without thinking things through and now they were gone forever. Although to give him the benefit of the doubt, he was manipulated into doing so as he was in a very vulnerable mental state at the time and Yang took advantage of that to try and 'help' Cole be remembered. But that doesn't change the fact that Cole still did it and it haunts him every day of his life. He also ends up isolating himself afterwards, not wanting to face any of the family he has left even though he desperately doesn't want to be alone. That's the main reason he joins the other BE!Ninja in the first place, because for the first time in a long time, he isn't alone. And even though he doesn't want to go through with the others' plan, he stays with them since he has nowhere else to go because he thinks there's no way the normal ninja would accept him after what he's done.

And then we look at Jay who trapped the remaining ninja in his sword after he overthrew Nadakhan and became the new captain of Misfortune's Keep. Jay felt no remorse from trapping his friends. In fact, once he had finished the job, he smiled. He was happy about it. Jay truly believed the others didn't care about him, that they left him on Misfortune's Keep to rot for months. And by the time they had finally shown up to save him, he had gone through so much that no amount of explaining was gonna get him to change his mind. He had already saved himself, he didn't need the others to swoop him and save him after they treated him so terrible and abandoned him for months. And after everything was done, Jay didn't have anyone to tell him he had fucked up. Nobody on his crew would ever suggest anything like that, obviously none of the ninja were left to call him out, there was nobody to make him open his eyes to what he had become. And after living life as a pirate captain surrounded by people who would listen to him without question, people who were scared of him, he grew to love it. The ninja never took him seriously, but his crew HAD to take him seriously because they were terrified of the consequences. And when he met the BE!Ninja, he was mainly just uncomfortable seeing the other ninja again because he had grown so angry at them, but he was willing to help out with the plan to take out the other ninja because he was just that far gone.

And when the two of them meet each other for the first time, Cole is just completely shocked to see Jay at all since the Jay from his timeline is dead. And though he acts pretty cold towards him since that's just how Cole is now, he also doesn't want to leave his side because he misses Jay so much. And even though this isn't his Jay, it's still Jay. Meanwhile, Jay is angry and annoyed at having to deal with Cole. He wants nothing to do with him and turns down any offer Cole makes to help him since he doesn't need help from anyone, especially Cole. He eventually 'comes around', but that's really only because they team up with the other BE!Ninja. And yeah, over time Jay does genuinely grow closer to Cole and both of them open up about their pasts and what happened to them, but Jay always has more walls up than Cole does. He's more vague, he snaps more easily, he quickly shuts Cole down when he starts asking too many questions. Cole on the other hand lays everything down for Jay, (although he is still hesitant to open up) He lets his guard down and lets Jay realize just how lonely he's been in his timeline.

And the two of them realize just how similar they are, but they both end up going different paths. Cole realizes more and more that what he's doing is wrong, that he's just gonna end up making another terrible mistake if he continues down this path. He realizes just how messed but the other BE!Ninja are, he realizes that they must be hurting deep down, just like he is. But Jay just continues to spiral further and further. Once again he's with a group that doesn't take him seriously. The only one who seems to do that is Cole, but even then Cole still doesn't always treat him like the threat he is. Even worse is that Nya, the one he felt the most anger towards, isn't even helping. BE!Nya wants nothing to do with the others and actively treats Jay like he doesn't matter (though she treats everyone like that, her only real loyalty is to the Overlord). So Jay just gets more snappy, more violent, more determined to defeat their good counterparts because that'll prove to the others that he is a threat and that he should be taken seriously. Cole grows and slowly betters himself while Jay only gets worse.

God I just have so many thoughts about these two. I mean, I have a lot of thoughts about all the BE!Ninja, but Jay and Cole especially love to live in my head rent free. And there's one last little detail that I wanna point out with these two because I just think it's neat.

When Cole took out the other ninja in his timeline, the first one he went after was Jay. When Jay trapped the other ninja on his sword, the last one he trapped was Cole.

Idk I just think that's a neat detail. Anyway, I'm done rambling for now. Maybe I'll ramble about some of the other BE!Ninja in the future. I guess if there's anyone specific you want me to talk about let me know, but otherwise I'm just gonna end this post here.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago bad endings au #ninjago bad endings #bad endings cole #bad endings jay #cole brookstone #jay walker #i'm so normal about these two #<- biggest lie of my life #i think the thing with these two is it boils down to this: #cole realizes that he's broken and jay doesn't #cole knows that he fucked up and jay thinks he was completely in the right #man i could seriously talk about these two all day AAAAAA

[rillils]

imagine post endgame bucky having to go alone, without someone to support him, to say sorry to all the people whos family he killed and he keeps saying that he didnt have a choice as his excuse

and he keeps thinking that its not a good enough excuse, that hes not good enough

no, you see, you see!! one of the things that made me uncomfortable about their treatment of Bucky, back when I was watching tf*ws, is precisely this

gonna slap this under a cut because BOY I have things to say

I WWILL NEVER STOP BEING MAD ABOUT THIS. I MEAN.

deciding that he has to apologize for all those deaths implies that he murdered those people willingly, while he was perfectly aware of his actions, of their consequences, and just did it anyways. so now, you know, he has to "atone for his sins", or make amends or whatever. so we're just going to send him off to those dead people's relatives to immolate himself because of course that's the only right thing to do. BUT idk, say what you will, this entire concept just sits wrong with me, I can't help it.

like first of all, we're acting as though killing all those people was a conscious choice on his part, as though he were completely 100% in control of himself and actively chose to murder a bunch of people, just because it suited him or something, when we know, WE FUCKING KNOW, WE HAVE BEEN LITERALLY SHOWN THIS, IT'S A RECURRING THEME IN AT LEAST 2 OF THE CAP MOVIES, that THIS. was NOT. the CASE. and fuck anyone who says any different tbh, mcu included

second, they might argue that by walking up to the victims' relatives and apologizing, Bucky's giving them closure or something, but. just. look at this from their point of view, right. as far as they're concerned, this is the guy who murdered their loved ones in cold blood, and he's just! walking free! getting away with murder(s), apparently without suffering any consequences whatsoever for all his crimes and all the grief he has caused. is that REALLY gonna give anyone closure? or is it just going to hurt them more/make them even angrier/unnecessarily reopen old wounds when there's nothing, really, that can heal or soothe them at this point, but rather just make them more painful than they already were????

so, it doesn't give them closure. and it sure as fuck doesn't give him closure, either.

they send him on this horrible, tragic, terrifying, sad errand, and all he gets out of it is torturing himself some more. seeing the pain and the hatred for him on all of these people's faces, the moment he says "yes, it was me, I pulled the trigger, I killed this person you loved". like, torture, yes, torture!! that's all this is!!! that's all it earns him!!! no peace of mind, no sense of closure, no hint of forgiveness! just more pain!!!!!!

just. I just hate this, you know, I just. I really, really hate this. I especially hate how, as you said, the way they insist on him having to personally apologize is just going to make him feel like his own hardships (aka being physically and emotionally tortured until he broke down and had his identity, agency and free will stripped away from him) were just "an excuse". as though a victim (because THAT'S what he is, THAT'S what he always was, a victim himself) needed an excuse for all his suffering. as if he brought it upon himself. as if he was "asking for it".

nah, all of this, it's just going to make his sense of guilt grow stronger and deeper over time, making him feel even more Unworthy (unworthy of love, unworthy of acceptance, unworthy of living a normal life after everything he's been put through, unworthy of friendship, unworthy of being seen as a whole person, as a human rather than a murderer) than he already felt before, making his own pain so overwhelmingly powerful that he might end up feeling like his entire existence is a mistake, and everybody would be better off if he just wasn't around anymore. and that's just so horrifying that I refuse to contemplate it.

#stucky just stucky #personal #like most of the time i feel like they just *hate* him down at the mcu quarters you know #it's like all they're interested in doing with him is just 'hey let's see how much more crap we can throw at this character' #just for funsies lmao #and i'm not even going to touch on what they did to steve (and - by proxy - to bucky himself) or i'll never shut up at all #i'm really sorry i went on a tangent honey #i just have way too many feelings about this 😭😭😭

[danganronpa-shipping-galore]

Danganronpa "As a Ship" Edition #27:

💚 Tenko/Shuichi 💙

With Tenko's strong hatred towards men, she tried her best to steer away from Shuichi, and because of her intense hatred and overwhelming behavior in general, Shuichi was too intimidated to interact with her.

Though it takes time, Tenko grows to respect Shuichi and even looks out for his well-being when she sees the good deeds he does for others, including her. While it doesn't change her view on men in general, it does allow her to gradually get closer to Shuichi without instantly dismissing him.

Tenko enjoys learning things from Shuichi that she's unfamiliar with, seeing him as a worthy mentor (though he rarely words that out loud.)

They both desire justice, and fight towards it together in their own way.

Nobody messes with Shuichi but her. She will defend him no matter what, even if the issue is considered trivial.

Tenko vigorously trains Shuichi to master Neo Akido, and when he still keeps trying despite all his early failures (especially with her own "flare" to the art of Akido), she considers him the real deal and admires his perseverance.

Tenko has this contradictory mentality of getting upset when Shuichi doesn't make the first move to be physically affectionate (hugging, holding hands, etc), OR only allowing Shuichi to show any physical affection when she asks for it.

They are complete opposites in nearly every way, but their differences can work. Tenko's energetic and strong ways inspires him to try more things and feel more sure of himself, and Shuichi's more calm and cautious nature gets her to think more about her decisions and actions, even if she doesn't always listen (which is most of the time.)

Because of Tenko being an extremist in her beliefs, that can often cause conflict between the two, with Tenko feeling unsure a lot of the time, and leaving Shuichi feeling overwhelmed or unsure himself. He would also worry that he's not being enough for her. However, being as patient and honest as Shuichi is, he is always willing to hear Tenko out, and she always trusts him in the end. No matter what, they are both incredibly loyal to each other.

For expressing their love, Tenko offers Shuichi to train with her and teach him how to defend himself. She also likes traditional romantic gestures like holding hands, taking walks together, but only when they are alone together and when she offers to do so first. Shuichi shows his love through more subtle acts like lending an ear, expressing his vulnerabilities to her and allowing her to do so in turn, and giving general helpful advice.

#chabahara #tenko x shuichi #tenko chabashira #shuichi saihara #danganronpa ships #danganronpa

[bookishfeylin]

Hello! I hope you are doing well :)

(I needed help from a translator to write this, I apologize for the errors that this text will probably have)

Firstly, I would like to express my admiration for you. I cultivated it through reading the criticisms so well placed by you about the universe of ACOTAR.

I, having had a very intense relationship with reading over the years, was starting to despair after reading the first three ACOTAR books because I felt very alone when I realized that apparently there were almost no real critical analyzes (that I had found) about this book saga. It was then that I found Tumblr and, along with it, some very interesting profiles that talked about what I wanted to talk about. Yours was one of them.

My experience with ACOTAR is quite complex. When I first heard about it (given its growing fame), I loved the plot, as I love reading fantasy. I cultivated expectations on my own, but I also place this on fame and people's enthusiasm (and hatred) for some characters that I will later mention. So I read it… and damn, I was so disappointed after the second book. I fell off the horse completely, as some would say here where I live. I couldn't believe how SJM started to fail so much with the entire initial proposal of the books and how she managed to fail in developing characters and plots with so much potential. Furthermore, the romanticization of abuses, retcons, plot holes, catchphrases to deceive readers, narratives conflicting with actions, failure to make clear the biased narrative... among many other things. But one of the things that shocked me the most was how, to this day, many people fail to see certain FACTS and the FAULTS in all of this, their only reactions when these are pointed out are irrational responses in defense of this created illusion. Rhysand is the most disappointing character I've ever read in my life, perhaps because I see the potential that could be used in him, Sarah's true protagonist (this is just one of the things that completely annoy me about the author and, consequently, the character).

I could cite MANY examples of the flaws I mentioned, as you mentioned throughout your posts, but one thing that really bothers me is the way the characters and the fandom itself treat Nesta, trapped in the blind illusion that everything that IC does is the right thing, since that's what they think and say. It's really disgusting. I don't know why in the world I deluded myself into thinking that Nesta being the protagonist of Silver Flames would improve anything by knowing her critical perspective on the IC and things in general, since she is not very influential and very observant. I honestly don't know why I did this to myself, knowing what SJM did with the previous books.

Tamlin and Nesta are sensitive points for me, being the main characters that led me to, in fact, have an increasingly critical view of these books (they were my critical awakening). I realized that one of the main common points that makes me upset is the way Rhysand deals with them, just like he deals with anyone: the way he wants, without reprimands (sometimes it's even encouraged). As if it were his right.

I understand that Rhysand's relationship with each of them has different complex layers, especially with Tamlin as it is a story that has been developing for much longer and is something personal to Rhysand AND Tamlin (in contrast to Nesta, who had never done anything for him), although there are very superficial mentions of it in proportion to how much Rhys gets involved and returns to it throughout the books (some would say that he simply needs to have Tamlin in his life constantly because of the way he always finds a way to mention it him or go see him, he can't let go). I have A LOT of things to say about this, but I'm summarizing.

About Nesta, someone very young in comparison and who was hated by Rhys before he even met her. He didn't even give her a chance to observe her a little or ask her anything. I would think he should be intelligent and more mature because of his age and how he likes to show that he knows how to handle things, but that's not what his actions show in most of the books.

Sometimes I think he picks on Nesta and Tamlin so much because they are the only ones who actually stand up to him, question him and throw his actions in his face. They don't accept his stance easily and they have the courage to respond accordingly. They are the big stones in his expensive and nocturne shoes.

I'm not going to start talking too much about Feyre per se, but I would like to point out that I hate with all my mental strength the daemati shipp feysand and I hope in a childish way that they fictionally read this in my mind. In my view, they have absolutely nothing good or remotely interesting to add and develop from each other. Rhysand calls them equals in every way, but he always knows things and chooses what to say to her as is convenient for him. He tells her she has a choice, but he is the only one who provides the options he wants her to choose. Feyre stopped questioning, she believes anything he says from the start. She even stopped analyzing her own actions. He gives her a false appearance of power and she pretends that she knows how to use it. On the first opportunity to introduce her to the CoN, he undermines any kind of respect they could develop for her, whether through fear (as stupid and lame as that may be) or what. Her personality was an ocean and since she started dating Rhys, the ocean had become a shallow puddle of mud. It seems that the trend is getting worse, seeing as how SJM has been showing us who her main character is. Feyre was a means to the end, nothing about her position in this saga was constructed in a decent way, unfortunately. Rhys does what he wants and doesn't have the limits he should have, bringing this to Feyre when in Summer he tells Tarquin that she does whatever she wants, without thinking about the consequences, just because she carries a title that Rhys gave to her. She can do what she wants because HE is saying so. It's not about Feyre, as the catchphrase makes it seem. This is not a moment taken to glorify her in front of others. At this moment Rhysand wants to show and prove his power to another male who should have the same authority as him, Tarquin. This guy's ego, seriously.

Anyway, amidst so many opinions about the things I'm curious to know, I'd like to ask what you think is the REAL reason for Rhys' growing dislike towards Nesta (and Tamlin too, if you want. I I don't buy the superficiality with which the whole thing about the murder of their families was told, but that's just me pondering). And the possibilities surrounding Nesta and Rhysand's complex relationship, expectations and even what you would have changed. If you want to respond, of course.

Today I found myself reflecting on this specifically and I'm still putting things together in my head, so I decided to share this question with you.

This “message” was much longer than I expected, I ended up getting carried away and had to stop myself from saying more. At this point, I don't even judge if you haven't read it, hehe. I appreciate it anyway if you read any part of this.

Anyway, thank you very much for sharing your analysis. I feel so represented with them! I will continue to follow you here, XD

Xx, Tess

Awwww I got teary reading this message! Thank you so much, Tess! And I agree with so much of what you’ve said here! This book series crumbles under the slightest bit of analysis, and I’m glad so many of us have started to realize that. I’m glad you feel represented here and ill definitely continue to be here :)

#Ask #anon #SJM critical #anti acomaf

[rahriot]

JUST FOR HER MOTHER'S COOKING

pairing: eddie munson x ex best friend!reader (poc and gender friendly) show: stranger things

WARNING: UNEDITED, awkwardness, morning wood, enemies to lovers arguing, sex jokes, bullying, mentions of weed and hard drugs, no spoilers, stubborn!reader, slight angst, kissing, more to be added. 

Being Eddie’s ex-best friend was an issue for you and only you. Once your friend begged you to speak to him for drugs, your hatred started to lessen.

"I can’t believe you were ever friends with him," your friend teased you while keeping her eyes locked onto Eddie and his "glory." He was sticking out his tongue and using his pointer fingers as devil horns.

You groaned, you despised the fact that no one could ever forget one thing about you, as if it were a personality trait, the thing you were known for: Eddie's Ex Friend. You had doubts, and the more you stayed with this group, the more you started to judge the little freak leader.

You judged even when you used to have things in common with him. You started judging his outfits, his hair, his attitude.

So gross, he’s so gross!

"Cass, shut up," you hissed, thinking it would actually silence your friend’s mouth. However, a perky smile grew on her and she was about to laugh.

"I’m kidding! But still, how..?"

You felt his eyes burn the back of your head. The only reason for that was that you quickly made eye contact with him for just a split second when he was getting yelled at by his Biology teacher outside the classroom. It wasn’t this type of eye contact that made both of you blush— no! You just quickly looked at him with no emotion, but somehow, just somehow, it caused him to stare once you walked past.

"To the principal, now, Eddie!" his teacher says before you can hear a loud slam of the classroom door.

All you could do was hide your snicker. He hasn’t changed and it’s embarrassing. He needs to grow up.

You finally reached some forest (?) near the school, a bench where you decided to study for your exam on Thursday, but once you sat down on the bench, you completely got distracted when you felt a thin box in your front pocket. So, instead of ignoring it, you began lighting a cigarette. You almost felt at ease until you heard the shuffling of leaves from a distance. Imagining it was a teacher, you had to blunt your cigarette and dash it away before they could notice.

You started to hear humming, sounding a little higher than a grown adult would hum, so you twisted to check who was there, to check who was responsible for making you blunt your second last cigarette.

Eddie, fucking, Munson.

Oh my, it’s not like this was the first time you two were alone together after the whole thing. You came back to his place the next day to grab some stuff you left when you stormed out of his trailer.

"Woah," Eddie spilt out, out of guard, pausing just for a second before continuing on.

I guess I should actually study then.

You return to unloading your supplies, hoping that your ex-best friend is just passing through. However, he stayed, yet he kept his distance. He leaned against a tree opposite you and began to shuffle around in his pockets. From the sound of him igniting his lighter, it was going to smell.

Oh, but the smell of that green devilish plant was just your comfort smell. The smell could make you smile if weren’t careful, the smell could make you ask for a huff. Was he doing this on purpose? It would make sense since when he made that silly speech at lunch today, he briefly looked at you. Your hatred just grows. Why is he here? Out of ALL places...

You stayed focused, using your pen to scribble little notes on flash cards that were freshly bought. Somehow, the smell of that zoot made you feel better when studying, and weirdly enough, you were happy he was smoking... but, you are not happy that it’s him that’s smoking it.

He started pacing around the place you two were chilling at, and it made you a little tense. You weren’t scared of him, but, why is he still here? He could’ve had that little smoking session further into the forest or whatever this was. Then again, that meant you wouldn’t be able to smell that strong scent so clearly.

"What're you studying?" Eddie's voice perks up, causing you to be taken back before returning to writing.

Not now... not while you were jotting down the one thing you always forget on tests. You decided to not reply, knowing it would make Eddie try harder because he gets awkward when he gets ignored but you begged your silence to speak words you didn’t want to say.

"Oh, I get it. Pretty little princy doesn’t want to talk to a Goblin like me," Eddie speaks again, now swinging his legs over the seat to start sitting in front of you.And youdidn

’t reply again. If so, he would win. He would win this game of trying to make you speak. He started shaking his leg while impatiently staring at you. His dark eyes just flicked onto you and your note books. He just sighs, "Are you scared of me, your majesty?"

He can’t stay still, can he? He just stands up and goes back to walking around again, but this time he started walking out of sight, going behind you, and you didn’t know how close he was since he was so slow with his movements.

And then suddenly, he’s back to sitting. However, this time, he was sitting on the table, his thighs right next to your arm. You couldn’t help it anymore. You look up into his face, catching his elbows in his lap and his hands connected while watching your face. He didn’t bother to stop looking when your stinging eyes met him.

"I’m busy, Munson," you spat, glaring into his eyes. That had no effect on your harsh tone.

Instead of taking this as a joke, he just sends you a dull face and now you two are having a full-on glaring contest and you two didn’t want to pull out. No, you guys were too stubborn.

"How comes we’re on a last name basis?" Munson darkly teased, tilting his head and slightly leaning in.

You had a good look at him now, no longer staring into those eyes that could eat you up. His shaven beard, his smile lines, his pink lips—Jesus, jesus, don’t look at his lips, that’s weird.

"Are you going to cry about it?" you asked, teasing him as you returned your gaze to his.

"Are you going to whine and tell your sweet little joint that a darl like me called you by your last name?" you added, sarcastically smiling at the end.

You could faintly see him slyly biting the bottom of his lip with a smile growing on his face, "Nah! I love it. It makes you sound very submissive.

"Excuse me?" you scoff.

"And for the record, I know how much you loveee the smell of this beaut, so one point to me."

"Fucking blow me" you roll your eyes back to your work, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

"I can do that," he whispered once he leaned a little closer.

You send a digit to him, "Don’t you have a silly DnD cult meeting to attend?"

From your peripheral, you could just sense him about to fake, like an arrow going through his heart. He did so that, one second after you assumed his next move and it made you a little proud of yourself, but then again, you hated the fact that you had history with him.

"Can you leave me alone, please?" you asked, a little rudely, may I add.

"Maths huh?" He completely ignores your question and starts shuffling his way to the side of your bench, now having his shoulder pressed against yours.

It makes you more irritated! The way he’s all in your personal space and somehow you sort of missed it, you missed having a friend like him. But you can’t think like that, ever. Ties were cut, and he’s probably just teasing you.

"Move!" you nudged hard to the point where he almost fell on his other shoulder.

"God... Don’t you get it? I’m not in the mood."

"So you were in a mood before?"

Another frown came out of you, and now, you are stomping away with papers tugging against your chest and arms. Eddie just chuckled at the sight. It didn’t sound too confident, but it was enough confidence to send another comment.

"Bye, snarky face."

The next day, you forgot about the student who hasn't graduated in you don't know how many years. However, whenever your mind trails into thought, Munson Boy is always popping up. It angered you, making yourself frustrated because you couldn’t tell your friends this. They would just make a little teasing comment about him and then leave it at that. As if that would help. She wanted to avoid him. To never see his face again.

But of course, high school isn’t high school without the world switching on you. Lunch came around and you could just sense Eddie’s eyes on you. You wanted to sit down so then he wouldn’t be able to slyly catch glances, but in a way, you wanted to see why he was staring.

"Oi," your friend alerted you, making you finally come back into reality. You just realised you had been staring back at Eddie and once you looked back to see if he was still staring, he wasn’t. He was holding a comic— wait, that’s your comic, you always add a certain pink stick on the front of the book!

"Yes?" You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t paying attention to the conversation at all.

"Did you even hear us?" your other friend asked.

"No, sorry. Daydreaming."

"We need some cocaine—"

"Don’t say that out loud!" you hissed, looking around to see if any teachers heard.

"Fine, we need some POWDER," your friend teased, yelling the word so loud the whole cafeteria lost its noise for a millisecond.

"Ellie. What the fuck?!" you awkwardly started slouching down, sitting on the actual seats rather than the table.

Ellie starts to laugh before she continues her lovely chat about the "powder."

"Could you get it? We don’t want to talk to the freak…"

You blinked and then blinked again, "You’re kidding."

"Why would I be kidding?"

"Because Mr. Freak and Pretty Y/n have a history, remember?" Class answered for you, helping you to feel a little less pressured to do this.

"So? You know him, I don’t," Ellie retorted.

"And he’ll most likely want me as a ritual sacrifice. No way, Ellie."And… twominutes lateryou

’re walking towards the little table where the person you never want to speak to sits. Ellie seems to know how much you egging on her mum’s homemade cookies and it was enough to give in and be in this position.

You walk up, ask for the thing, he says the time and then you go back to your seat. Easy! You can’t stress about a situation like this, he’s a freak, not you. Oh God, what if he does make me a ritual sacrifice…

Allow your body to merge, Y/n...

You finally reached the end of the table. Now you were behind Eddie and his friends could already see you walk a little closer to bend down beside him."Uh…" oneof

the boys' mouths had his mouth hung open before Eddie noticed that his little group was looking behind him.

Before he could have the chance to turn around, your hands had already slammed against the table right next to him. He jolts a little.

Now it was your turn to torment him.

"I— uh, hi?" Eddie asked with shock. He was so confused on why his ex-best friend was even near his table, even touching his table. Most people wouldn’t touch it.

You ignore his greeting and bend down to look at him. He starts to look a little bit more confused when you have no emotion in your face. So, you used this time to get one hand to push one side of his hair and tuck it behind his ear.

Slowly leaning in, you swerved your way to his ear where one piercing sat on his cartilage. Before he could do anything, you started to whisper slowly, "Crack from the junkie, please."

Now it was funny once you leaned back to see his face twitch. Knowing he never really liked that nickname, he tried to brush past it.

He turns to you, tilts his head and looks behind you before simply asking, "You need it for when?"

"If I say today, will I get a discount?"

He smirks a little before shaking his head in disappointment, "Might as well give you a ride after school."

"Don’t piss me off."

"Oh no, I guess your little preppy friends are going to have a ride then," Munson pouts. The group in front of him was just shocked, confused, and also allured. Eddie Munson—EDDIE MUNSON—is speaking with Y/n L/n. It was a sight, for sure.

They didn’t know if they were flirting or arguing. They didn’t know if they were about to kiss or have a fight.

"Like hell, they would touch your infected ride."

"Infected?! Might have to double the price."

Your eyebrows started to knit together, "I think you owe me for pissing me off yesterday."

"Free ride to mine or double. Your choice."

His smirk just grew and it seemed so out of character for him. Where was the awkward Eddie you knew? Never mind, you know damn well he was playing your game. Just as well as you.

You finally broke eye contact with him and noticed all the stares you were getting from the boys in front of you. Sure, you sort of knew them, but it was just weird.

It caused you to cut the conversation short, "I finish after next period."

And with that, you slam your hands onto the table again and send out your signature sarcastic smile before walking away.

You held the fifty dollar bill in shock, you didn’t know if this was more than enough to get that type of euphoric feeling. But maybe Ellie is a heavy weight, having to have more to enjoy. It wasn’t a gram was it was something.

Now you’re waiting, waiting for Eddie Munson to come out the school doors. You waited ten minutes, and it made your blood boil; he was always late, and how can it take ten minutes to walk out of a fucking school?

When he finally came, he jumped to you, wrapping a arm over your shoulder and apologising. Well, not really… he just made an excuse, "I’m actually skipping for you. That’s why I took so long."

The ride was quiet. It's really quiet, unless you want to count Eddie’s little hums as noise. You are sat on the edge closest to the window as you look at the view while Eddie speeds his way home. The last time you were in this van, it was a couple of months ago, and even though it’s been a while, it felt so comforting. Maybe not Eddie’s presence but the car’s.

"Fuck me…" Eddie groans out loud, causing your head to turn to him. He probably said that out loud, given how awkward the ride has been. But what did he expect? You didn’t want this. You didn’t want to spend more money because there was no way you were going to tell Ellie it was a hundred.

Both of your eyes connected just for a split second, and it was enough for you to frown at this sight. This guy used to be your best friend, and you were starting to miss that type of company. You don’t have best friends, only friends, but you don’t want him anymore.

"Do you wan’ stay over? I—I—We haven’t hung out in a while," Eddie asks in a forced confident tone. He gulps at the end, looking at the road and then at you.

You wanted to smile at him, but, you would hate yourself for that. "There’s a reason for that, and you know that."

"I’ll give you a discount?"

"It’s not for me, anyway," you chuckled, rolling your eyes back to the window.

"Yeah, but then you can spend that money on comics or something—"

"Not into that shit anymore."

A quiet "oh" came out of Eddie’s lips before the ride became silent again.

You two were around two minutes away, and the silence was burning you. It sounded so easy when you thought staying quiet would work, yet, it was so hard to talk to him. You didn’t like him, you can’t - not even you have already gone so far down the rabbit hole. You spoke so much shit about him, you called him names, and to his dismay, he never got offended, but the one thing that seemed to piss you off was that he didn’t seem to show any hatred back. Maybe it was silent or he was used to it, but either way, it was too late to turn back into friends.

You two stopped being friends just a few days after the start of senior year. It was something that you quickly moved on with since you started to get closer to Cass, then Ellie, and then… you suddenly had a little name for yourself. Since there were some connections to the popular group in your year, people started to notice you a little more.

You started to catch Eddie’s reflection on the window. It was barely there, but you could tell that he was flickering his sight between you, the road, and down near his lap. You furrowed your eyebrows until you saw a cigarette placed between his lips. Then,

with the cigarette still in between his lips, he stretched his arm to pass you something, "Want one?"

You twisted your head and acted as if you weren’t just staring into his reflection a moment ago, you just looked into his hand where a cigarette box was fleshly opened with one empty space. You quickly checked his own hand, and you could see the freak’s hand clothed with rings holding the steering wheel. You began to select a cigarette, not to make him think you were warming up to him, but because he was the reason you had to throw away your barely used cigarette the day before.

"Thanks."

Eddie returned the pack to where it came from and took out a lighter as a trade, starting to light his cigarette while driving, and he succeeded. You didn’t even notice how much you were staring, but once he gave you the lighter, you leaned back onto your side, shuffling a bit more into the car seat. You start to light the cig up and roll the windows down and hand the lighter back without looking at him. Yourhands

weren’t stable since Eddie was driving, so when he reached to reach for it, he accidentally grazed against your fingers. If you could blush, you would have been burning. You felt his cold metallic rings freezing you, but you still had enough brain cells to keep your composure.

"Can I just stay in the car?" you asked, bending down to try and find Eddie’s face once he got out of his car.

He paused his movements and bent down, "And potentially get caught? You know better."

You groan and start unbuckling your seatbelt to leave the car. Slamming his van door shut, you walked around the car and folded your arms as he tried to find his keys.

You still can’t believe he uses his uncle’s car— and hasn’t gotten caught yet. You stared into the back of his body. His style always looked like he didn’t shower, but he didn’t. Even if his van smelt like a hint of weed and cigarettes, you couldn’t stop yourself from smelling him. He smelt decent, clean. Was it weird to say he smelt like a cosy bed?

You accidentally smiled once your eyes travelled to his trousers. They were the ones you gave him because your dad said he bought the wrong size. You decided to give it to Eddie because it didn’t fit or suit you. Furthermore, around that time, Eddie didn’t tell you it was his birthday a few days ago, so once you found out by his uncle, you thought it was a good gift.

"All aboard, Princess Snarky! Welcome back to my humble cabin."

"Cabin? You are definitely failing English again."

He smiles as he opens the door and gestures for you to walk in. You took his gentlemen act and continued walking and into the trailer. It was like time didn’t continue in there, everything was the same. It just rushes memories into your head.

"Let’s go to my room."

"No."

Eddie’s step was midway stopped, causing him to frown in confusion. Okay, he got it - they aren’t friends anymore, but, why did you answer with a firm tone? He twisted himself with his toes, turning to face you.

"Why… not?" Eddie shrugged, watching your face for any emotion, but you just looked fed up.

And you were. Your head was suddenly spinning in memories from when you would run around the trailer while screaming lyrics, listening to him tune his guitar, dancing to the beat, or enjoying be a second hand smoker when you couldn’t have a zoot. There was way more. It was way too much that you just wanted to go back to the car, to have some alone time because this was the first time since your little argument in September. You wanted to know why you felt like this. You weren’t sad, and it wasn’t the act of missing him. You missed the memories. Not him, definitely not him.

"You already dragged me into your trailer so therefore, let me have some freedom in your humble cabin," you rolled your eyes once again, leaning against a free wall and gesturing Eddie to move on.

Instead of moving, Eddie step closer while bowing his head a bit. His gaze was fixed on yours, and he simply observed your nervous expression as a result of his close steps. You stare at his shoes, slowly strolling towards you with his hands behind his back. This effect made your legs feel like jelly.

"So you're telling me..." he stares to eye you down before staring into your eyes again. "You'd rather stand here? What if he comes out just when I'm giving it to you? " His eyes quickly flickered to his uncle's door.

You furrow your eyebrows. "This is why you should've let me stay in the damn car or van or_, It's not like he'll tell on me."

"He might not, but he might give you a long talk about.. well, you know what I'm trying to say," He then tucked his arm under his arm and started playing with his hair with his fingers.

"Fuck off..."

"Do I hear double price?"

You pressed your lips together. He was so eager for you to come into his room, and you didn't know why. He wouldn't double the price, would he? Would he?

"Fine."

You removed yourself from the wall and brushed his shoulder with yours while walking past. He pressed his lips together as well, knowing that little interaction was out of annoyance. He just gestured a little too late, still trying to be a gentleman.

You were already in his room when you noticed how cluttered it was. There were more things on the drawers, more posters or just objects hanging on the wall and his bedside table; it was almost spilling with objects. The wrappers were stashed, and the tallest object was a lotion bottle. You stared harder, noticing a box of tissues as well.

Again, gross...

"Why lotion? Just buy lube," you frowned, twisted your upper body toward the brown haired teenager who rushed into the room. He paused right at the doorway and gulped.

"Lube?"

"You deal, wouldn’t you be able to afford lube or body oil?"

Eddie just awkwardly chuckles.

"Let's just get this over with before I really ask for double," Eddie shuffled awkwardly, walking towards his drawer and beginning to search through the overstuffed, unfolded clothes. "How much do you have?"

Because you were still distracted by his room, you couldn’t really comprehend what Eddie said, so a quiet ‘huh’ just came out once you tried to stay focused.

"Money. How much do you have? "

"Oh um," you reached into your pocket, feeling for the familiar feeling of the note. You finally found it and even if Eddie wasn’t facing you, you lightly wiggled the fifty dollar bill.

"Fifty."

He finally turns around after awhile with a little packet with more than you would expect. You bit your lip as he hands it over you. You politely take it with a simple smile on your lips.

"Thanks," you said just above a whisper, instead of asking why he gave more than what a fifty would give, you started handing over the money just for him to place his hand on top of yours and push it back to your chest. His thumb accidentally pressed onto the fat of your chest, causing him to jolt his hand away and move back awkwardly.

"I—uh, keep it. Go buy something your preppy self would like. Consider this a gift."

"What? No— a gift?"

"Is it weird to say I miss you?," Eddie eyed you, looking for answers.

You hesitated. All this time when you bullied him, hated him for random reasons, and just avoided him, you should be feeling sorry, but you didn’t want to. You couldn’t do this, fall so easily and show emotion. Now, you have new friends, a new life.

You shrugged, unsure if you wanted to speak or just stay quiet. Hugging felt like the right thing to do, right? It's simple, and you could mask your hatred with fake concern.

"I wanted to speak to you and just do whatever we used to do," Eddie confessed, taking a deep breath.

You couldn't say anything because you'd never seen him so vulnerable.

"I hated you too, but I still missed you," Eddie added and raised his eyebrows as he awkwardly opened his mouth to smile.

He could sense your silence, your fear of talking.

"God, I’m sorry. I’ll drive you home. Forget this even happened—"

"I still hate you, I can't help it," you bit your lip immediately, your random burst of confidence failing to work because you sounded rude rather than reasonable."

Every time, every time I looked at you or was around you, I just wanted to scream at you, maybe cry while doing it— I don’t know. That stupid speech you made yesterday, it made my body boil. I know it was directed at me."

Eddie didn’t know how to feel. Were you trying to apologise or annoy him? Even so, he wanted to retort back, but he didn’t know what to say.

"So if you think giving me a deal will help you feel better, you’re wrong. I’ll catch a ride. Bye, Munson. "

You turned away to start exiting his room, only for him to finally retort, "All you do is whine and whine— just be grateful!"

"Are you done? Cause I think I’m done here."

"Am I done?! You can’t put all the blame on me, I’m expressing my feelings and you’re acting like I stabbed you in the back," Eddie stepped forward, making your face express rage."

I’m sorry that I no longer want to be friends with a freak that never seems to graduate. You don’t care about anyone but yourself, Eddie! YOU started it and never apologised!"

"All I did was disagree with you. You left me without explanation, and what, now I’m the issue?" You have now turned around to glare at him.

Yes, he is the issue. He didn’t talk to you for days, and then when he finally invited you and planned to go to the movies, he went to the "bathroom" for almost an hour, maybe even more, but you left before you felt tears running down. It turns out he only came to the movies to meet his dealer. Then you decided to hang again because maybe he wanted to apologise, the pair of you decided to go to lover’s lake for a swim, but he brought his dealer, AGAIN and guess what, he didn’t speak to you at all that day. So, you left, broke contact, and began living life without him. You never gave people chances, never, it was just some trait that you had that made you never go back and forgive.

"I can’t believe I was ever friends with you," you shouted before stomping out of his room and the trailer. You opened the door of the car and grabbed your bag before slamming it shut to stomp away.

The next day, you gave the money and cocaine to Ellie, lying to her to say you just stole it off of him. You sat on the bench where you met Eddie two days ago and just stared into nothing. You kept going back to yesterday, you regretted how sour you were once he finally confessed his state. You wanted to hug him, but you were too scared. You didn’t want to get humiliated again.

You started to feel tears falling down, causing you to bury your head in your arms that were folded and on the table. You wanted things to be easy, to hate Eddie Munson without feeling bad.

You wanted that company again, his company.

God, you didn’t know why you were suddenly feeling so much pity for him. He had it so hard once you realised how rude you were being at his own home, his uncle probably woken up by your arguing.

Since it was spring break, you couldn’t bring yourself to go into his trailer once again. No, not when you just disrespected him yesterday. You wanted to protect yourself, not hurt the people around you. Then again, you didn’t know if Eddie moved on from that conversation. You did not know how to feel.

For the whole spring break, you remained shitty. You were begged by your peers to come to a party or just step outside but you didn’t want to. You hated going out now, scared that you might accidentally bump into him. Of course, the break wasn’t filled with sappy thoughts about Eddie; it was always late at night. You twisted and turned, attempting to forget about him and his hair and fashion sense, which you had come to tolerate.

It was the last day of spring break where you finally left the house, but only to get your comic from Eddie that you forgot to take back. It was simply the comic... You didn’t want to go to his house just to see him, you simply wanted your comic back... Yeah, that’s definitely the reason.

You found yourself already knocking on the trailer door. You gulped, realising you didn’t have anything planned. Oh wait, it was just the comic… Who were you fooling? You wanted to apologise, to hug him and say sorry.

The door was quickly opened by Eddie, who wasn’t in his angsty teen clothes. It looked like he had just woken up by how he was rubbing his eyes before catching his ex best friend coming without warning. You slyly looked at him, taking a glimpse of what seemed to be patterned pyjamas and a plain black long sleeve.

"Eddie…" you started, clenching onto the hem of your skirt in order to find confidence.

"Y/n…" Eddie spoke in the same tone as you.

You took a deep breath, finding a way to apologise and actually mean it. You silently told yourself you can do it. So you parted your lips once again, placing your arms on your side comfortably, and were about to speak.

Until you accidentally shifted your eyes down to where his pyjamas were tightly shaping the look of his… boner. Oh my God…GROSS!

"Y/n, why are you actually here?" you couldn’t stop looking at it, you could see how it curved from the tightness of the pants. You wanted to look away, but you were SHOCKED.

"I—uh…" you finally looked up at him, and he had his eyebrows raised, waiting for an answer.

"I realised you had my comic," you blunted out.

"Is that why you’re really here?"

"Yes," you said as you folded your arms across your chest.

He looked at you momentarily, his big brown eyes darting into yours like he was about to ruin you, destroy your whole existence, but then he shrugged after a few seconds, gesturing you to come in.

"Can I have Hell boy for a bit though, I need to finish it," Eddie asked, closing the door once you walked in.

"So you kept more comics without me knowing?" you asked with annoyance coating your tone, you could hear Eddie’s voice telling you to wait up as you storm into his room.

You started searching with your eyes immediately. The sound of the bedroom door closing almost made you break your neck towards the only sensible exit of this room. That’s when you found Eddie’s body leaned against the now closed door, eyeing you like a disappointed carer.

"Tell me why you’re actually here, then, I’ll tell you about the comics," he demanded, it almost made your heart go warm. His bed hair seemed to frame his face even more. His strong chin and pointy straight nose was something you would love to look at up close. His best features were his eyes. They knew how to show every emotion so well and right now, he looked more cocky than usual.

Were you thinking Eddie Munson was attractive? Holy shit.

"Comics, that’s all."

"I’m not stupid, sweets. Tell me because if you’re here to start an argument again, then I don’t want it, not in my house and definitely not in my bedroom."

You couldn’t take this anymore, your heart was thumping pass this tough girl act, you were so confused with all these emotions.

"I miss you…"

The corners of Eddie’s lips curved, and he started to raise his head a little more, where you could see his bare neck. You might have exploded if you weren’t so confused.

All this time when you were angry at Eddie wasn’t because he was a freak, you wanted him and denied it. You cried at the movies because you were heartbroken. You left him because you didn’t want to get hurt anymore, and finally, you pushed him away because you didn’t think a crush could be this frustrating. Your heart aches from the idea of liking him all this time. You liked him, but you hated him so much that you became a dickheaad.

"What else?"

What did he mean by "what else"? You were too stubborn to say sorry. The most he’ll get is an "I miss you." Talk about greedy.

"That’s all."

"Y/n," his voice when he warned you made your lower body lose its senses and pins and needles flew up.

You wanted to… feel him.

You stormed towards him and just when he was about to lean off the door, you slammed against him with your hands caressing his neck and lips attached to his.

It felt like this was all planned out by him because he kissed back almost instantly. He crept his bare hands onto your hands and gripped them so softly that it felt like he was teasing you.

Your lips started to move with his, ever so slowly. He started to smile into the kiss and used his weight to push you off him. A happy yet surprised "Shit" fell out his lips so well as he turned you around to make it your turn to be pressed against the wall. Your bodies were so pressed into each other that it felt like you couldn’t breathe.

"I hate you so much, but I miss you so much too," you said softly, afraid that speaking too loudly would shatter the moment like glass.

Both of your foreheads were touching, and you two were forcing yourselves not to smile.

"Fuck you for hating me," Eddie teased, scrunching his nose while he began locking his eyes on your kissable lips.

You accepted his silent wish, pushing your lips up to kiss him one more time, one last time to give him all the emotions that you wanted to feel with ease. Wrapping your arms over his neck, you pull him closer until your noses are brushing harshly against each other.

"Feels so good," Eddie murmured into your lips, feeling your tongue slick over him. Your tongue and his started to connect, swirling around each other as Eddie’s hands gripped your hips tighter.

"Fuck…" you couldn’t even swear properly. The kiss was so perfect that it felt like a movie.

#eddie munson x plus size reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x reader #eddie stranger things #eddie munson

[brandwhorestarscream]

Oh my gosh I love the idea of the younger TFA Xenocons looking at modern aka tiny Autobots going babies! Mama we found Orphened Sparklings! Meanwhile Bee is going who are you calling a sparkling/what the hell is a sparkling

Oh my god SAME

Hear me out ok just hear me out! Civilian frames have always been smaller than warframes, but in TFA it's so exaggerated. Like. In some shots Optimus barely comes uo to Megatron's knee. They're itty bitty

I like to imagine that their diminutive size is the result of so many generations of the autobots not being born normally, not being allowed to grow up: They're created with energy siphoned from the Allspark vault, newborn infant sparks chucked into protoform shells meant to mimic adults. They should be much bigger, maybe 50-60% of tye average warframe's height/bulk, but they're malnourished and their sparks are weak. They can't get any bigger

In true TFA fashion, the cybermorphs lost the war and were chased out into deep space. Like we discussed previously, they're on the brink of extinction with less than 100 of them left. Critically endangered, if you will. It's completely fucked up their psyches, surprise surprise: Megatron has lost all of his millions and millions of children to the autobots' genocide, and there's no way to make more. He's unstable, queen instincts for nesting and laying dormant because they don't have access to a safe place to hive, nor do they have any incubators.

Then, out of nowhere: a blip. Intense warmth and life, stumbled upon after millions of lonely years drifting aimlessly through space. They know of the Allspark, obviously; if they could get their hands on it, just think of how many incubators they could make. How much energon they could have. They'd be able to find a nice planet somewhere and carve out a fresh chance at life for themselves! They could have a hive again, at long last!

The ship is breached and things devolve very quickly: imagine their surprise when they find a bunch of tiny babies with the Allspsrk. And that's what they are, babies, little more than larva! Where are their caretakers, why are they all alone out here? Have they not been able to incubate properly? Are they starving?

The autobots are helpless against the cybermorphs are captured easily. Considering there's no bomb here (Starscream, as much as he and his queen but heads, knows he can't kill Megatron. He's the only one capable of continuing their species, the only queen left in existence, and his hatred for him doesn't overshadow his desire to avoid extinction), the little repair crew is ceased. They're of course convinced that this is it, this is how they die, dragged off to be devoured by these horrific monsters.

Imagine their surprise when, instead, they're all rounded up into the throne room and given a helping of energon. The monsters sre clicking and chirping and hissing--it doesn't seem like they speak neo cybex. Lugnut and Blitzwing are standing by, guarding the doors and keeping an optic on them while the queen watches silently from his throne. He's watching them quizzically, concerned when the sparklings refuse to eat. Surely they must be hungry! Do they... not know how to fuel on their own? He'll feed them if he has to!

I already love this idea sooo much and I hope we get to develop it more 🥺 these little baby bots are too small to be incubators, and the queen instincts are so desperate for a hive and to fulfil their life's purpose that the whole little group has been latched onto 🤭 how is Team Prime gonna get themselves outta this one?

#cybermorph au #except its TFA and Cybermorph Queen Megatron mistakes the repair crew for helpless sparklings 🤭

[tmnt-obsessed-ace]

2012 Leo deserves to go a little apeshit

As a treat

So you remember a couple of months ago when I mentioned how 2012 Leo in the Krang Apocalypse future creates a reverse version of the Healing Hands that instead of the user using their own energy to heal it instead takes away the energy of others and give it to the user while also corrupting the user's soul?

You remember how 2012 Leo ends up in the 1987 dimension?

That deadly power was born from pure grief and pure RAGE when all three of his brothers died on the same day.

Something similar is going to happen

2012 Leo searches everywhere for his brothers, as 2012 Raph, Donnie and Rise Donnie all jumped into the portal to the prison dimension to try and save Rise Leon before they got separated in a massive flash of light and a loud explosion.

So when 2012 Leo ends up in the 1987 dimension ALONE without his brothers after everything that happened in the Riseverse...he's gonna assume that they're dead. (He doesnt have any evidence of this aside from Rise Leo's cracked katana that fell through with him, but he doesnt have any evidence proving that theu arent dead either. Logically they probably ended up in different dimensions as well but 2012 Leo is far too stressed to be thinking logically right now)

And then he sees the 1987 Technodrome in the distance and. He. LOSES. IT.

The only thought on his mind is "Dont let my brothers die in vain. Avenge them!"

He breaks into the technodrome and as soon as he locks eyes with 1987 Shredder and 1987 Krang.

God help them.

He goes absolutely feral, trying to rip and tear them and the entire Technodrome apart.

Shredder and Krang are completely outmatched and it only gets worse when 2012 Leo grabs Shredder by the throat, the rage barely contained.

And thats when it happens.

The rage reaches a peak, burning like fire under his skin. A deep hatred for the man squirming under his grip triples in size.

The fire needs fuel.

2012 Leo screams out his hatred for this man, an alternate version of monster that murdered his father a year ago, allied with an alternate version of the monster that killed his younger brothers. He feels nothing for Shredder but pure hate. Pure fury.

Pure rage.

While howling winds swirl around the pair, seemingly also screaming inside the Tehnodrome, something shoots up his veins.

Burning hot yet icy cold, zapping all through his body and growing stronger by the second. It settles around in his body like a parasite, demanding MORE MORE MORE.

The look on Shredder's face while his life force is ripped away is horrifying but god does Leo love watching that man suffer.

A lazer cuts through the storm, burning Leo's shell. He looks over at 1987 Krang, the rage growing even stronger. He drops Shredder, allowing the man to live before charging.

He moves so fast Krang cant even move before his metal body is being furiously clawed to shreds, metal swirling around in the trashed Technodrome. He grabs Krang and rips him from the remains of his mech suit, gripping him so tightly.

Just as he's about to literally tear Krang in half, the 1987 turtles come in to see one of their friends causing this much destruction.

And so begins the plan to try and calm 2012 Leo down, but he doesnt exactly WANT to calm down. He wants Krang's blood splattered all over the walls. Its a difficult thing, trying to talk down an enraged, grieving turtle that is one of your friends.

Eventually the only one that can at least get 2012 Leo to cool it with the murderous rage for a few minutes is 1987 Raph (purely because he has the same voice as 2012 Donnie and Leo would naturally calm down if he thought Donnie was here)

At least until Krang manages to escape the Technodrome in one of his backup mech suits, with the intention of getting one of his weapons to destroy 2012 Leo and or to get help for Shredder.

Yeah that doesnt go as planned because 2012 Leo follows him into the city.

Now theres a violent, furious, ninpō powered turtle in the CITY.

Thats not going to end well.

Poor 2012 Leo needs a hug

#tmnt 2012 #rottmnt #crossover #tmnt crossover #tmnt 1987 #hehehhe

[xi-writes]

Title— Coincidental

Prompt— "Do Yandere Grusha" They were joking. I was not.

Safety— NSFW in a Violent way

Additional Tags— Yandere, it's fucked up what else do I say? You're here for a reason ain't ya?

1. Ever since your first meeting when you melted right through his ice types, you had unknowingly burned a deep hole through the frost covering his heart as well. Never one for photo's or overly close contact, Grusha treasured the one photo he managed to take with you. Not thinking much of it at the time while his feelings were new his obsession ever so slowly grew the more he saw you, the more you kept coming back for battles and to see him for any and every reason. The more ice melted away; faster and faster until it was too late for you to stop it...

2. Although being perfectly capable of conflict, powerful both with his pokemon and his hands having an iron grip tainted by the harshness of the mountains cruel grasp. At first Grusha settled for a silent withdrawn approach to making you stay with him for longer every visit, even going so far as to train his pokemon for the occasion.

3. At first it was small things you hadn't caught on too; a sudden snowstorm no one could have predicted locked you inside his gym with him and only him leaving you two talking for several hours, unavoidable errands you ended up helping with having you walking by his side for longer then you planned to stay to begin with, his pokemon had grown friendly for you outside of his original plans and he made sure to use that to its absolute fullest the excuse of having them happy and lonely without your company preying on your soft spot for pokemon and making you stay close that way was an unexpected but welcome addition to his plans.

4. The first time he ever did something in danger of being exposed had been the first but not last time his emotions lit with the fire of a hatred brewing within him ever since your first encounter. Your rivals unlucky appearance struck a cord within his already heated heart, Nemona disrupted your after battle chats with him for a fight of her own as she usually did when you two crossed paths. Strangely since that day however Nemona had never bothered you again for a fight and refused to join you at all when travelling to see Grusha again, cautiously chalking it up to friendly jealousy you never pressed on the matter... Completely unknown to the sweet friend you made lashing out in ways you had never known he was capapble of, behind closed doors the cold wintered heart shone through once again in harsher storms then ever before.

5. It had been this way for several months, Grusha silently constructing coincidences behind your back; slowly growing more confident and vicious in taking down anyone who dared to speak up for his wrong doings or get in his way. The first time Grusha ever slipped up on his act had been your unpredictable u-turn having forgotten something in his gyms lobby you had walked back inside to witness what you immediately thought was the very reason Grusha gained his ice cold title. Caught in a one handed choke hold held above the ground dangling helplessly in the air from just one hand the trainer in his grasp barely being able to cry let alone much of anything else, you quickly realised the person Grusha was all but strangling had been the one eyeing you suspiciously for a few hours now... Hesitantly, Grusha let him go when you called his name, quick to notice his mistake he switched back immediately to the soft loving person you knew. Managing to think up a quick reply to satisfy your curiosity. Would you truly believe he was "Protecting you from being hurt"? or perhaps, that bitter shiver inducing shine in Grusha's usually soft eyes had more meaning then you could ever be prepared for.

#pokemon #pokemon grusha #headcanon #x reader #yandere #XiSpicyTime #gender neutral reader

[rhaaclaws]

"Emotions really add a lot to the taste of flesh. Hatred, lust, betrayal and fear just happen to be the best ones"

Intro post to my oc, [???] Duran or more easily remembered as Darling Nikki! under the cut since it is a bit long

Vampire, and has been one for a loonggggggg time

Got turned into one by fighting Matejka [one of @outpost-31 's lovely ocs] and winning their deal. They were most likely the first person to have ever fought him, as he didn't have anyone in his hivemind at the time. Because of this same deal, she has horns growing out of her skull. They are only this big and in 2 sets of 3 because of how long they've had them growing.

Stand is called Jennifer's Body. It has the appearance similar to The Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth with the eyes in the palms. It's ability is to enter your brain through your eyes and pretend to be your thoughts. Completely non-combat but extremely useful to her. Only recently got it after being recruited to the org, so for everything before that she got her way by pure charm, acting, and lying.

Her voice is very breathy [think of Ooh La La by Goldfrapp] and talks into people's ears

As you may be able to tell from the quote, she eats people; but only if there's an aspect of hatred, lust, betrayal and/or fear. This is her favorite part of the hunt, which is why sometimes they like to take their sweet time for certain people

Oftentimes she's like a praying mantis, discards someone after she's bored of them.

Her name changes depending on who's asking. In a "what's your name" "whatever you want it to be" way. This is why i only have her first name as [???]

One known name is Darling Nikki, which is what Andros Stellar* knew them as when they went to the United States in an exchange program for university back in 2000.

Andros lived with her for an entire semester, completely alone. But this is a story for another time; all you need to know is that [???] considers them her favorite even after all these years.

I cannot stress how manipulative and shitty they are. They purposely hunt vulnerable people, and uses her vampiric charm to make them fully trust her, even for a night.

An example of this: one time she wanted to guilt trip someone so badly and make them completely hated so she "killed herself" by shooting themself with a shotgun in front of said person and others just to see everyone's reactions about it.

If they decide to go after someone they know is Not trusting them no matter what, what she does is rile them up and try to find her victim's weak spot to exploit it

An example of this: once cut off Rabanne's hand to point out how they were scarred from the sun. This resulted in an extremely violent fight in which she clawed out his eye and actually licked one of them before jamming it back in his eye socket. Only because they can just fucking do that and survive it when anyone else would've been killed on the spot.

If you were to ask her why she does any of this, and actually get the full truth, it's because attention is the only thing that brings her joy in this world and because they can get away with fucking anything.

Her tongue is black from lying

If you call her out on her bullshit or attack her, they will pretend to be in extreme pain and start crying and use her charm to get everyone against you. This is what happened to the shotgun person.

#theres more to her but this is an intro sooooo #cannibalism mention #violence tw #suicide tw #jjba oc #this got long but <3 #hiii atlasss #post punk revival #rhaa art #Darling Nikki #rhaa ocs

[shotforfavor]

assigning a mychem song to each tma entity :o)

i dont have anything for dark and buried. umm. also i dont know how to put a cut in a post sorry

corruption- demolition lovers. the relationship isnt good for either of them, but hes still willing to die for her ("im trying to let you know just how much you mean to me, after all the things we put each other through") all of his expressions of love for her are violent in nature ("id end my days with you in a hail of bullets" "you're the only one, like a bed of roses theres a dozen reasons in this gun") their love is built on violence, its hurting both of them, yet he still wants to die with her to prove his love and devotion to her

desolation- early sunsets over monroeville. life is perfect, him and his lover are on a mall date, feels like a movie. ("then holding hands and life was perfect") then it all comes crumbling down out of nowhere when a zombie outbreak kinda thing happens and said lover is bit. ("not knowing you'd change from just one bite, i fought them all off just to hold you close") he can't exactly leave the mall he's hiding in, ("trapped in by all these mountains") and now he has to kill the one good thing he has left. then he's just defeated. he has nothing else worth living for. "but does anything matter if you're already dead?"

end- the end. obvz. "when i grow up i want to be nothing at all" most of the song to me is him expressing he wants to die/he knows hes going to, and he takes it very casually, buttttt the very end of the song... "save me, get me the hell out of here, save me, too young to die my dear, you cant take me" hes afraid of death when actually facing it

extinction- scarecrow. this ones about a nuclear bomb and trying to run from your death and look at things positively even though you know everyones going to die. but theres kind of an acceptance at the end- "love wont stop this bomb, run, run, bunny, run" after this point, the only lyrics are saying to run and hide. no more "i'll keep you safe tonight", no more romanticism that makes the destruction sound poetic and almost beautiful. just running and hiding and hoping someone makes it out alive

eye- teenagers. me personally i think this one fits. "because they sleep with a gun and keep an eye on you, son, so they can watch all the things you do" he feels like he's constantly being watched by the adults in his life, and they're just waiting for him to make one wrong move that they can use to justify calling him a bad person. he stands out, his classmates make fun of him and spread rumors about him. in the context of the song, the lyrics are all rebelling against all of this, but on their own, they sound very paranoid about what others think of them

flesh- cancer. i think this one works, the patient expresses a lot of hatred for what his body is becoming due to the disease in verse 2 especially. "turn away, cause im awful just to see" its got the aspects of insecurity and physical change out of ones control characteristic of the flesh.

hunt- vampires will never hurt you. this one isnt really a fear of being prey, but rather his fear of becoming the hunter. "can you stake my heart?" "i'll never let them hurt you, i promise" he feels that his vampirism is a different side of him completely, one thats out of his control. he'd rather be killed now than lose control and make his loved ones his prey.

lonely- ghost of you. he lost someone important, and he can't stop thinking about it and replaying their memories in his head because he doesn't want to forget them, but dwelling is only making him miss them more. ("if i died, we'd be together now, i can't always just forget her") he just replays her death over and over in his head, constantly reminded that he's now alone. ("i remember now, at the top of my lungs in my arms, she dies" "all the things that you never ever told me, all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me, never coming home, never coming home")

slaughter- mama. i mean its literally about a soldier who did awful things during a war and his mother can't help but hate him for it. "but there's shit that i've done with this fuck of a gun, you would cry out your eyes all along" he acknowledges that he fought his hardest because he thought he'd die at war ("so raise your glass high, for tomorrow we die") and his mother would be even more terrified of him than she already is if she knew the full extent of it. the song even ends with her sobbing

spiral- drowning lessons. after the death of his lover, he is haunted by a manifestation of his guilt that takes her form and makes him relive the day over and over again ("lets say goodbye a hundredth time and then tomorrow, we'll do it again"). he desperately wants it to go away but his own mind wont leave him be ("without a sound, i wish you away" "i adore every inch of sanity, all im asking for"). a lot of things in the song also sound like hes experiencing visions of her death, twisted by his brain- describing her as a "twisted shell" and saying "these hands, stained red from all the times that ive killed you"

stranger- blood. i dont know this one just really fits to me? "well they encourage your complete cooperation, send you roses when they think you need to smile" "so give them blood, blood, gallons of the stuff, give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough" does this not give the image of like weirdly happy all the time doctors who keep doing procedures on you but you dont know like what exactly they're doing ever. also the very fun chipper tone and its contrast with the disturbing lyrics is very stranger core to me

vast- disenchanted. this one might be a stretch? after all his attempts to make life meaningful, he's left thoroughly disappointed. he realizes at the end of his life that everything has all been meaningless. he thinks life itself is overrated.

web- the jetset life is gonna kill you. this ones about drug addiction but the song portrays that as a woman who's controlling his life. "gaze into her killing jar, id sometimes stare for hours" she has him completely trapped and in the palm of her hand. "alright, she wants it all to come down this time"

very much willing to discuss any of these

#the magnus archives #tma #my chemical romance #mcr #mychem #eyetalk #crossover of the century #i just have to combine my hyperfixations or i die #and i love a bit of song lyric analysis