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dmwrites · 8 months

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It was said that the Decked Out dungeon was alive.

The hermits, gathered in the halls and cubbyholes of Decked Out, talked about this factually. The dungeon was laced tradition and superstition.

The hermits said it ate people, that it craved blood. Some hermits had lucky cards or items, others touched parts of the dungeon before going in. They all joked about the dungeon having a crush on Etho.

Hypno thought this was all bullshit.

And while he wasn’t one to diss other people’s superstitions (at least not in a hurtful way), the way some of the hermits talked about the dungeon was… weird.

Hypno could only shake his head and stay quiet. “It’s chance! Chance and RNG and skill! The dungeon is a machine, not some beast in need of hermit butts to keep it satisfied!” He wanted to say. But he didn’t say anything, just stuck to the sidelines, quiet and thinking about his own runs, what he could explore next.

Regardless of differences, the hermits could all agree on one thing: decked out was addictive. Hypno had spent more hours then he cared to admit in the dungeon, just so he could be near the place, hear strategies. And he liked to play, had a bit of a knack for the dungeon itself. Phases one through three had been tons of fun, tons of exploration and death and success. But Phase four…

“Damn it!”

Hypno wondered if there was a death speedrun record yet for Decked Out, and if he’d just done it. Killed by Skill Issue almost as soon as he’d cleared the first room. The whole week had been like this, he hadn’t succeeded once.

“Too bad, man.” Hypno could hear Cub saying from beyond the door when he respawned.

“Appreciate it, man. Ugh!” Hypno hit the button to open the door and went to sit on the floor next to where Cub was leaning against a wall. “I’ve had such bad luck this week!”

“That sucks. Maybe the dungeon is just mad at you.” Cub suggested, looking down at Hypno.

Hypno put his hands to his face. “Cub, what?”

“Well, you know, I mean, of everyone here, I think you and I have penetrated the dungeon the deepest.”

“Don’t say it like that, please.”

“It’s the truth, though.” Cub continued. “You play that dungeon rough, and maybe it’s tired of you. Wants the annoying bug named Hypno to get out as fast as possible. And how to you get rid of something that’s annoying you? You smack it.”

“The dungeon isn’t alive, Cub.” Hypno said, looking up at him. “You do know that, right? It’s just a game.”

“I dunno, man…” Cub looked down at him. “I pay my respects to the dungeon… maybe you should consider it too.”

It dawned on Hypno, in that moment, just how much the sculk had spread across Cub’s skin, curling into his eyes and staining his skin an inky blue. Hypno shivered, and wondered just how Cub was “paying respects” to the dungeon.

——

Hypno went again as soon as the dungeon was ready. He and Cub hadn’t said another word since their brief conversation, and Hypno could feel Cub’s eyes on his back, watching him in silence. Those glittery, dark eyes. The door closed in between them, and Hypno tried to shake off the kind of damp, uncomfortable feeling on his skin.

“Right, hard mode, let’s do this.” Hypno murmured, pressing the correct button from the list and placing his shulker box. A minecart appeared, and down into the dungeon he went.

The problem was, with the minecart ride, was that it was far too long, with too much silence for thoughts to creep in. Of all people, Hypno hasn’t expected Cub to be one of the hermits treating the dungeon like a living thing. But then again, Hypno reasoned, was Cub really all Cub right now? But regardless of who was in charge of Cub’s form right now, Cub ran the dungeon great most of the time.

But he’s just good at the game, a little voice inside Hypno argued.

But so are you… another voice argued back.

The minecart ride ended, and Hypno was facing the doors of the dungeon. He took a deep, centering breath, tightened his bandanna. The dungeon isn’t mad at you, the dungeon doesn’t have feelings, it’s a building, Hypno assured himself.

He grabbed the compass- a simple level one- and snuck his way thought the icy rooms and halls. He had an ear out for ravengers, but something was different. It smelled different. Rather then the kind of cold that blocked out everything, the air smelled stale, but slightly metallic. Hypno smelled his shirt- it wasn’t him, although he was sweating like crazy. A ravenger suddenly roared, barreling around the corner, even though Hypno was out of sight. Hypno ran, jumping over the river of souls and into the crypt. He had half a mind where this compass location may be, and pounded down the stairs. He wasn’t sure what it was, Cub or just a feeling, but he didn’t want to be here too long.

He found the compass location and threw it in, getting his own bandana artifact. The second he picked it up, the dungeon groaned, metal against metal, ice against ice. He could hear ravengers bellowing, running towards him. Hypno looked around, but there was nothing that suggested this was all some kind of prank.

“What is happening?” Hypno asked himself. He tightened his bandana, took a deep breath, and ran back up the stairs, only interested in leaving this place.

The coffins around him were rattling, someone was pounding against the stone. He could hear vex screeching, even though he was nowhere near max clank yet. He kept running, sure of his way.

Ravengers lunged at him.The walls were contracting, shuddering violently as the dungeon screamed in his ears-

He fell onto the pressure plates that marked the exit, scrambled to the short chute that would send him to the end of the dungeon, and maybe he could get out and touch some grass or something. He jumped down into the hole, taking deep, gasping breaths as he fell. And he kept falling. Before he could really process that this was a far longer drop then any other time he’d finished the dungeon, he hit a puddle of water with a splash.

“Yeah, dungeon isn’t happy with you, man.”

Cubfan stood before him, like he’d been there the whole time. The room Hypno had landed in was caked in sculk, all shimmering and almost bulging outwards towards him.

“Where are we, Cub?” Hypno asked hesitantly, trying to steady his breathing, slowly moving to stand on solid ground. Every instinct the dungeon, and life in general had taught him was that something was very, very wrong.

“The Burning Dark, of course. You’re a smart guy, I bet you knew that already. The dungeon thinks you’re smart. Hates that you’re smart. Hates that you don’t fear it like you should.” Cub paused, and in that silence was the heartbeat of the dungeon. “Are you scared now, Hypno?”

In a place so void of information, with only sculk and the creeping realization that Cub was not here to save him, Hypno’s mind raced, but came to no conclusion.

“No.” He lied.

“The dungeon is hungry, Hypno. You die a lot, but you haven’t died for the dungeon yet.”

A sword was in Cub’s hand, and suddenly it wasn’t Cub and a creepy room, but a ravenger named “nothing, they survived decked out!”. But there was no button and door here, no pretend savior. Hypno was going to die, sacrificed to the dungeon by this person who wasn’t all Cub. Hypno straightened his bandana. Well, if this was going to be how this went down, he wouldn’t let the dungeon have the satisfaction of his fear.

“Do you know how sculk works, Hypno?” Cub was advancing, in slow, meaningful steps.

“No.” Hypno looked him down, didn’t move.

“The more you kill, the more it spreads.” The room was covered in the stuff. How many hermits had come here to die, be sacrificed to keep the dungeon happy?

“We could just leave, my guy. Touch some grass, talk to other hermits. You don’t have to do this.” Hypno said, but he knew his words only absorbed into the sculk. Cub was in front of him now, sword between them.

“Run. Maybe you can escape again.” Cub rasped.

“No.” Hypno replied. He didn’t move. Not even when the blade pierced his heart. He fell in place, sinking to the floor that would take his sacrifice. He could feel Cub kneel beside him, take the bandana off his head.

“You’re so annoying, Hypno. Can’t even die like everyone else.” It wasn’t Cub speaking.

——

Hypno woke up in the Decked Out bed. He gathered his stuff, his deck, and flew away as fast as he could. It wasn’t until the citadel was out of sight that he realized that his bandana hadn’t respawned with him. He shivered, not knowing what that really meant.

#hypnotizd #cubfan #decked out 2 #hc9 #long post

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slashmagpie · 8 months

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Shhhh.

It’s silliness, really, that makes Tango creep through the hollows in Decked Out’s walls to his mess of shulkers full of in-game items. He keeps his footsteps light, his breathing shallow, picturing himself a ghost as he slinks through the shadows and stone. It’s silly, but he can’t help but think that maybe, if he’s quiet enough, he might be able to—

Steal from the dungeon.

His fingers touch the shulker he needs, and the stone around him groans, deep and resonating through his bones. Tango grits his teeth, freezing. Busted. He’d known, really, but it’s still—

“It’s fine,” he says to the air, tail lashing, not quite opening the box just yet. “It’s a starter deck. If I was a normal player, I’d have had a Moment of Clarity in my deck from the get-go.”

Another grumble of discontent. Tango shivers. He can feel the disapproval crawling beneath his skin, and it takes all his willpower not to drop the shulker like a hot coal.

“I know,” he says. “I thought I explained this! It’s an experiment, right? I’m seeing—seeing how dungeon knowledge makes up for a, uh, relative lack of skill.” The dungeon’s unhappiness remains where it is, but does not increase, and Tango lets out a shaking breath as he cracks open the lid of the shulker and peers inside just enough to spot and snag one of the cards he needs. He turns it between his fingers, glittering cardboard, the golden foil glittering in the torchlight.

“I know I’m not a regular player,” Tango reassures the dungeon once again. “We talked about this, didn’t we? I’m not gonna submit Victory Tomes. And I’m starting behind everyone else. I won’t even run as much! I’m just—gonna try it. Think of it like the test runs again, yeah?”

The discontent surges—then wanes, like a wave rushing back out to sea, and Tango feels like he can breathe again, the pressure on his lungs lessening. He hadn’t realised just how uncomfortable the weight had been until it was gone. Feeling ten tons lighter, Tango grins at the air.

“See? And, hey, if I run the dungeon, you’ll probably get to eat me loads more. You like that, don’t you?” A wry smirk. “I’m basically your favourite meal.”

The dungeon—doesn’t quite laugh, but the groan is quieter, softer, and tickles more than it prickles or aches. It’s not quite approval, and it’s not happy, but—it’s letting him. It’s letting him run, Moment of Clarity and all.

Tango tucks the additional card away inside his inventory and makes to leave the small, cramped storage room that isn’t a storage room and that Pearl would definitely murder him for. He hurries through his actual storage room and up to the water elevator. He should get his runs done before the dungeon changes its mind again. Honestly, sometimes Decked Out is more of a pain than the Ravagers are.

…He is glad that it had fallen for his excuses, for the experiment and beta testing explanations, because he’s not sure the dungeon would appreciate his actual reasons for running quite as much. It’s quite particular about the place of its Dungeon Master, and what is and isn’t appropriate for Tango to do. It's why Tango spends hours and hours of his day watching people run the dungeon instead of working on all those repairs he’s got mounting on a list in the back of his mind. And why he has to give a mountain of excuses to play the game he’d helped make. Because really, in actuality—

Tango just wants to have a little fun.

Is that too much to ask?

He places a shard in the barrel and watches the doors open. He can feel the dungeon’s eyes on him already, and it’s weird to not be looking through them himself as he takes off his armour and stores his stuff in the chest. He takes a deep breath, tucks the stolen Moment of Clarity into his deck, and makes his way through the iron door.

Decked Out curls beneath his skin, curious and hungry, and as Tango places his deck into the slot, he feels the dungeon purr.

#hermitcraft #fanfiction #tangotek #more DO2 content yippee #i've been thinking about this concept ever since tango whispered to chat that he was stealing from the dungeon #what the fuck tango #magpie feather quill

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naomihatake · 8 months

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In search of freedom (Ch. 4)

4. One step forward

Chapter 3 ; Chapter 4 ; Chapter 5

⠀⠀⠀⠀She's been searching for freedom her entire life and everytime she thought it was laying right in front of her eyes, she was mistaken. She was running around the East Blue, seeking herself and her dreams, meeting people she never forgot. No matter how much she traveled, she could only catch a glimpse of peace before realizing everything would crumble at her feet.

⠀⠀⠀⠀Maybe it was destiny that brought her on that ship with three strangers — foolishly, that's what she tried to believe when the moon shined beautifully and hope settled in her chest, squeezed by the same ribcage where feelings were blooming.

Pairing: female!reader x OPLA Zoro Roronoa

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, some angst, alcohol

Word count: 3.8k

Theme song: fic spotify playlist (click on the link)

A/N: Tons of interactions between Zoro and reader. Not a long chapter, but I wanted to offer more insight about the reader's past and the relationship she has with her crewmates. I know they travel from Syrup village to Baratie in a day, but I wanted this exact scenario, so let's say it took a half a day longer ;) Not proofread yet.

The reader is referred to as "Witch" because I have no intentions of using "Y/N".

I'm open for comments and opinions! <3

They spent the rest of the day buying supplies for the journey. With no previous discussions, they all came to the conclusion that Nami would handle the berries, with some opinions from the witch who was used to always saving up money.

The witch has loads of information and experience about the map of the stars above, so she decided to save Nami from a sleepless night. She already took a nap after they set sail a few hours before dawn, falling asleep after she laid down on the sofa in the cabin. She completely forgot about her wound, too tired to mind the pain at that time, as if she's got hit in the head again.

Now, she was purposely ignoring the ache. She analyzed the stars for long enough to figure out where they were heading. From Zoro's perspective, the way she counted the stars and figured out the cardinal points was witchy. Realistically, he knew that Nami must've had the same way of figuring out how to sail during the night and not only her, but other sailors as well.

The witch sat on the deck, her back resting against the mast, her head tilted back to gaze up at the stars. The wound stung and it was uncomfortable, but she didn't want to bother herself with cleaning it up. Also, she had no clue where some bandages might be, and she didn't have the energy to go around and ask about it.

Meanwhile, Zoro knocked two times at Nami's door, opening it after receiving a sign he could enter. The navigator was sitting on one of the hanging beds in the room with some notes and maps in her lap.

"Do you know where's some first aid kit?" Zoro asked.

"Hm?" she raised her head at him, frowning. "Did you trip after drinking too much booze and got hurt?"

He rolled his eyes with a sigh.

"I didn't even drink today. Just tell me where it is."

"Should note it down in the calendar," she scoffed with a smile. "There should be one in the chest over there," she pointed at it by tilting her head.

In the corner of the room, under a small desk, was the chest she mentioned. He opened it and found what he was searching for.

"Oh," he heard Nami whispering.

When he looked at her from where he was crouching, she had a shit-eating grin on her face.

"What?"

He was absolutely clueless. The most oblivious man Nami has ever seen and, for the record, they were all oblivious as fuck.

"Nothing," she smiled innocently.

What is she up to? Zoro wondered.

With the first aid kit box in his hand, he got out of the room and walked back to the deck, where the same woman stargazed. His hand was still resting on the hilt of his sword while he stomped on the wooden planks. She hasn't moved one inch, except for the gentle smile that tugged at her lips.

The only source of light was a gas lamp on a barrel close to her and she glowed. He stopped in his tracks to gaze at her the same way she looked up at the sky and he realized quickly that his lungs stopped functioning.

I'll need some booze after this.

He let the kit fall in her lap and he was surprised by the lack of discomfort she showed at his sudden appearance. Each time someone came from behind, he saw her step away or react in some kind of way, be it a grimace on her face or a sharp inhale.

"What's this for?"

"Take a guess," he shook his head.

She was impossible. Did she do it intentionally?

"Shit, I completely forgot about the bandana," her eyes widened in surprise.

She undid the knot of said material as fast as she could, inhaling through her teeth at the sharp pain.

Only then he noticed an unopened bottle of something — he hoped it would sting his throat — sitting to her other side. He sat cross legged and leaned in over her legs to wrap his fingers around the bottle, tugging with his teeth at the cork.

"That was mine," he heard a faint voice complaining.

"It was."

He hid the smirk threatening to show on his face by placing the bottle at his lips, taking some long gulps. The alcohol stung so pleasantly against his tongue and he anticipated a sense of calm once he'd drink enough.

A restrained hiss got his attention. The witch's lips were knitted together and she tried to clean her wound with a wet cotton ball — it was alcohol, he guessed. After swallowing hard, she continued to tap the skin lightly. Her other hand was digging into her thigh, distracting her with another kind of ache. She was obviously concentrating, the reason why she didn't spit out smart remarks at him.

Zoro sighed heavily and let the bottle down with a low thud.

"Will you need stitches?"

"No," she muttered.

If she wouldn't have been hurt, her face would've looked almost cute.

Since when did he start thinking that way about people? It must be the booze.

She seemed relieved when she finished. The next step was to apply some ointment, which was less troubling.

Then, came the impossible task: wrapping her wound with one hand. Since her other upper arm was hurt, she couldn't do it any other way. The wheels before her eyes worked well enough — certainly, there were a few ways she could do that.

It couldn't be that hard, right?

The swordsman by her side achieved inhuman abilities, because telepathy wasn't something that happened naturally. She needed help dressing the wound.

The real issue was will she ask for help?

He didn't know exactly why he wanted to hear her say something. Anything. The smallest word leaving her lips would sound like a yes in his head and he would act accordingly with the alcohol swimming through his veins.

It wasn't in his nature to be so calculated. Nonetheless, exceptions always existed.

He didn't need to be proud about helping her. No, it was far from that. He had another kind of pride and it settled in the scabbards still holding his swords at his hip. Zoro wanted to see how far she'd go until she realized that asking for help wasn't a sin.

"Um," her lips parted.

"Give me the bandages."

He opened his hand for her to place the white material in it.

"I wanted to say that you owe me a bottle of booze," she blinked up at him confused.

He didn't wait for her to give him the bandages, instead, he took them by himself and positioned himself a bit closer. Suddenly, the alcohol seeping in his bones helped more than he guessed the first time he saw the bottle.

Was he holding back his usual strength at that moment? There were no coherent thoughts in his head while he wrapped the white material around her upper arm as gentle as he was capable of. Zoro avoided grazing his fingertips over her skin, but it was impossible any other way, so he found himself in a weird stance: his hand would hold her arm still from time to time while he rolled the bandages.

A cruel mistake was to look into her eyes, which he unfortunately did. The witch was also looking at him. Probably, he should be more grateful about the way her intense gaze didn't falter when it met his own, even if it made his stomach tingle.

He drank too much. Or too little.

There was one way to find out and that would be taking another bottle to drown down his throat.

He was never the one to look away first, be it an enemy or a friendly staring contest. However, he failed that time.

There must've been some potion in that bottle. Otherwise, there was no explanation.

"Thank you."

It was the second time she thanked him in a day. The swordsman didn't see much in these things, but he was genuinely intrigued about the nature of his own gestures. As someone used to actions, questions sounded pointless in between his thoughts. Then, why did he suddenly ask instead of straight up finding out the answer?

Why did he do these things without being asked to?

"Sure," he let out softer than it was meant to be.

He got up and headed to the galley to grab two more bottles of alcohol.

There was a different feeling than the usual duty he felt about people. She didn't need his protection or help, she could perfectly do it all on her own. She skillfully tossed knives through the air and was awfully proud about her abilities, a confident smile on her face.

Zoro never asked, but he guessed she was part of that world long before they appeared in her life. It wasn't possible to follow the rules of the sea unless you sailed before and she conquered the power of water itself.

And the strength of his heart on top of that.

"Zoro!" Luffy's enthusiastic voice beamed. "Let's learn the stars."

"What?"

Wasn't that the reason why Nami and the witch were on that ship? They already knew a lot.

"It's fun! I didn't know there were bears in the night sky!"

"Of course there aren't bears in the sky!" Usopp commented.

"They're just constellations, Luffy," the woman chuckled.

Both of them came to her like curious owls with big eyes, begging her to show them some stars; now, all of them sat on the deck. Of course their supposed captain would learn about anything only to forget half of it the next minute, but the intention mattered, right?

She didn't expect the swordsman to accept Luffy's invitation, but he did so, sitting in the same place he did a minute ago. Only the booze would determine whether or not he'd have enough patience to concentrate.

"Why is it called Ursa Major? Is there another one?" Usopp turned his head.

"Yes: Ursa Minor," she pointed her index finger at the sky above. "The Ursa Major is there, right? They look the same, but the other one is smaller."

The sky was filled with stars and there were so many of them, it was almost impossible to spot a specific one. They sparkled beautifully, as if they smiled back at the pirates eager to learn their names.

"Where, where?" Luffy looked up, confused.

The witch moved her hand to the side and pointed at another constellation.

"Search for the same figure, but in smaller form."

"Fount it!" Luffy and Usopp exclaimed in unison.

She let out another soft chuckle and the swordsman paid more attention to that lovely sound than the stars she mentioned.

"See the tip of the bear's tail? That is its brightest star and it's called the North Star. Whenever you point towards the spot on the horizon directly below it, it means you're pointing north."

Luffy's lips were opened in surprise while he looked at the sky.

"So you're also a navigator!"

"Just because I'm better than Zoro at directions doesn't mean I'm a navigator," she joked lightly.

"I think you're overdoing it," the swordsman huffed.

"That's why you were so late?!"

Usopp was already cackling.

"The mansion was in front of your eyes and you still decided to go the other way," she nudged at him.

"I was just checking around," he muttered between gritted teeth.

"You're so bad at lying, Zoro," Luffy teased him.

Their captain and the sniper were laughing colorfully, until tears gathered on top of their lashes. The sound was accompanied by the same reaction coming from the witch, who was unaware of the palm she placed on Zoro's shoulder, while the other hand was holding onto her stomach.

However, the swordsman was hyper aware about it. It warmed him up almost as pleasantly as the booze, but it was a foreign sensation settling into his stomach. Those gentle fingers that wielded knives and had been dirtied by blood touched him and he didn't have an ounce of will within to push her away.

It's just a touch, what am I getting so worked up for?

"We just need to find a musician and the crew is complete!" Luffy smiled brightly.

The witch's hand dropped from Zoro's shoulder, gripping at one of the bottles he brought with him.

"I can sing," she whispered as if it was meant to be only for herself.

"I can dance!" Usopp grinned. "Guys, you have no idea how I was the star of countless parties! Captain, you have everyone you need right here."

Before the Straw Hat could say anything, the witch opened her bottle.

"With a guitar, Luffy, otherwise I won't start disturbing the fish in the sea," she let out a short sigh.

"If we find a guitar at our next destination, do you promise to play the guitar?"

The puppy eyes boring holes into her forehead couldn't be ignored so easily. Defeated, she nodded and took a long gulp from the bottle.

"Great!"

And with that, Luffy got to his feet, his chin tilted down to look at his friends.

"Good luck with the night watch."

"I'll come to watch over you, Luffy," Usopp solemnly touched his heart. "Who knows when an enemy will sneak in. I need to be prepared and protect my friends!"

"So tonight we find out about your snoring habits," the swordsman arched his eyebrow.

"I don't snore!" he frowned while he walked side by side with Luffy.

"Good night, you two," the witch smiled in their direction.

Zoro continued drinking from the bottle in his hand, the first one he picked up already empty, sitting by his side. The witch had far less resistance than him and none of them got some well deserved sleep in the last two days. He acknowledged the proximity between him and the woman sitting at his right, but annoyance crawled up his throat — why he wanted to be near her was beyond him.

"For how long have you been on a ship?" he wondered out loud.

"Is it obvious it's not my first time?"

They turned towards each other at the same time, locking gazes the same way they did when he bandaged her wound. At least that time there was a plausible and logical reason — one he created on the spot. The second time it happened, he was just pulled towards her like a magnet.

And maybe they were not exactly opposites nor each other's mirror, but they always found themselves in the presence of the other.

"This can't be your first journey on the sea," he shrugged. "You're not scared at all."

"Did you just imply that I'm scared of water?" she cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Then are you scared of land? You were damn anxious back in Syrup Village."

The witch crossed her arms under her chest in a defensive manner.

"It was my intuition."

"You were losing your shit."

His teasing comment received a wide-eyed stare from her.

"That's not true."

Her lips were pulled in a thin line right after and she averted her eyes, looking back at the stars. She was searching for the right words to tell him lame stories she was fond of.

"I'm used to sailing, yeah. Was part of a crew for almost two years and then left because I couldn't find my place there. It was my father's crew."

"So it runs in the family."

"Kind of," a sour smile creeped on her lips. "My mother hated pirates. How come she married one? He didn't become a pirate until years later."

After another long glance towards a constellation she just noticed, she brought the bottle to her lips and gulped down until half of the bottle was gone. The memories flowing back always left a bad taste in her mouth, a sensation she wanted to fight against with some more alcohol.

"And you are a pirate."

The conclusion was obvious.

"I don't think I have to say it out loud, do I?"

The sad smile on her lips didn't falter. The spoken admission that her mother hated her guts for choosing the same life as her father would've hurt more than the silence that spoke for itself. Memories sucked her into the past like a water vortex in the middle of the sea.

"What do you mean by 'I'm leaving in the morning?" her mother had furrowed her eyebrows at her.

The tension could've been cut through with the knife resting against the young girl's hip. She resembled her father too well: they walked the same, they had the same gaze and far too similar weapons.

Before her mother's eyes wasn't standing a daughter anymore, but a pirate, monsters she hated from the bottom of her heart. Cruel, ruthless, merciless monsters with no hearts. People with egos bigger than their bounties and strength that could wipe away entire islands.

Demons.

Her daughter has become a demon.

"You're talking after your monster of a father," her mother spat out after slapping the table with her palm.

"We both know he was more humane than you."

"Where did you learn such words from, girl?!"

"You."

The witch was still standing in front of the door with a bag hung over her right shoulder. A merely sixteen years old with fire burning in her irises.

"He's a criminal and a thief on top of it! A liar! A betrayer!" the woman's voice rose higher, threatening to break glass.

"Maybe you didn't agree with his living style, but he's never done anything to us! The sea is a battlefield, it's kill or get—"

"I've heard that excuse coming from him countless times, I don't need you to quote that man!"

"If he is just 'a man' for you, just know that he was always more of a father for me than you were a mother."

A sharp sound bounced off the walls and the young witch's cheek stung after the woman's hand flew across her face. Her head turned to the side, but no whimper left her lips.

"I dare you to say that again. As if you didn't live under my rooftop ever since he became a pirate — a monster."

The young girl used to be bold even at that time. Her left cheek ached painfully, but it didn't stop the fire from burning. No, it was like pouring gasoline over it, thinking it would stop.

She turned her head towards her mother and rolled her shoulders back, eyes boring holes into her forehead.

"He was a better father than you were a mother."

A stable voice and clear words filled with venom to the brim. She didn't falter, nails digging into her palms as she tried to contain her anger — her hatred.

"Is that what you wanted to hear? You lack self awareness, mom. You seem to forget about the times when you'd tell me I'll become a failure just like him. You intentionally brush aside the speeches you gave me about how no matter what I wish for, I have to just suck it up and accept the fact that all I will ever be is an obedient girl. I'm not obedient and I'm not a girl — I'm a pirate. No one on the sea cares whether or not I'm a woman."

"These are fairy tales for children! You won't be able to survive for longer than a day. You will come back crawling at me and I'll remind you who was right!"

"See? Exactly what I was saying. You're just proving my points and yet you cease to realize. Everytime you hit me, everytime you degrade me, every single time when you want to show me you have power over me — all of these are pointless."

A reckless teenager grasping for the first time at the notion of freedom after mourning her deceased father for five days. A flame learning how to burn.

She made one step closer, the furrow between her eyebrows deepening.

"Kill me. You've always craved seeing my father dead, didn't you? Why don't you kill me too? Wouldn't that make you happy? I bet it would, since you always acted like it."

Words could hurt and she learnt it from her mother, it seemed like. She's never heard someone use words like she wielded knives better than that woman and that time it backfired.

Before she even realized it, the bottle her fingers gripped at was almost empty, making it easier for tears to gather in the corners of her eyes. She's been silent for so long and Zoro glanced at her from his peripheral.

"And him?"

"Been dead for three years. I became a part of his crew right after. It didn't make any sense to continue living in my hometown any longer. They're like a shadow ship — they refused to give the title of Captain to someone else, even if technically the one in command now is the Vice Captain. Whenever they need to make a decision, they think of what their deceased Captain would've done."

The swordsman by her side crossed his arm over his chest and grinned.

"That's one hell of a loyal crew."

They were my family, even if they would drink late in the night and have awful cooking skills. They would laugh and offer me advice, they taught me what a pirate's pride is about.

"You still seem regretful."

The witch turned her head towards Zoro and he swore he'd never seen so many emotions flowing in those beautiful eyes of hers. They glowed with golden sparkles hence the gas lamp. There laid honesty and fierceness, a human who turned against its nature and decided to go further.

"I never regretted leaving. I don't regret any of it. Maybe there were things I shouldn't have said or done. I could've been kinder, less revengeful. If I am to be honest, despite being aware of the consequences and effects of my actions, I don't regret it. It can't be undone and there's no place for apologies when I meant what I said."

"The crew scolded you."

It wasn't a question, but a statement. Obviously, the crew was formed by men and a few women past twenty. They had more life experience than her.

"A little bit. They were, indeed, more mature than me," her head turned towards the horizon again.

Vague and cryptic answers, harder to decipher than Poneglyphs. However, Zoro wasn't an archeologist and he didn't ask for more than she was able to share, which made her shoulder relax. The witch didn't even notice when she tensed up.

He stretched out his legs from their crossed position and leaned better against the barrel. It seemed like the pirate hunter didn't have any intention of leaving the deck.

Their shoulders remained close and none of them moved closer or farther away. Both of them were content with burning a little more before admitting the truth even to themselves.

Tag list: @emelia07 @dimplewonie @tfamidoingwithmylife @murnsondock @the-skys-musical-echo @conspiracy-crows @hallow33nz @ramae17 @gaslysainz @bunntsu @katt58 @katiemrty @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @freyademartel @boofy1998 @ponyboys-sunsets @melsunshine @loveyluv7 @waddlingwanderer

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silversainz · 1 year

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first everything ✦ LH44

summary: first everything with Lewis

notes: first time trying this lmk how you like it!, There also might be some errors, as I had to finish writing this on mobile sorry!

First date with him: he honestly seems like the type to let you pick the restaurant, so you feel more comfortable eating there. let’s you pick the sitting area, pick the appetizers etc. at first you’re both very quiet, not really saying anything to each other, being way too shy to say anything. but Lewis is the first to start up a conversation about how your days been going, asks about your mom, dad or siblings, work etc. and so the rest of the night is filled with laughter and memories you’ll both want to remember forever.

second date: is 100% a beach or yacht date, he’ll set and plan the whole thing for days, or weeks. Until he had everything perfectly planned out. he’ll have a dinner table set up on the head of the deck with candles, roses, wine, and your favorite food. he’ll honestly buy you a pretty outfit and cover your eyes with his hands, as he leads you on the head of the boat where everything was at. within the night as you both are chatting away he’ll casually slide a black box over to you, when you open it, it’ll be a beautiful necklace that’ll leave you speechless.

His first time staying at your place : after so many dates and many late nights staying on the phone together till you both fell asleep. You and Lewis finally decided to take your relationship to the next step and stay over at one another’s place. The first time he sees your apartment he’s in awe, because how similar you and him design your apartments. but besides the point, when he stays over for the night best believe he has a whole list of stuff he wants to do. build a fort? yes have a movie marathon? yes, have a random bake off yes. also cuddle sessions for hours, while you both chat away about the most randomness stuff.

your first time staying at his place: since he had stayed at your place it was only fair that you stayed over at his apartment. like him staying over at your place, he’ll plan out a list of things you both could do when you’re staying at his, doing late night face masks? Yes, having a cook off to see who can make the best (vegan) pizza? yes, going to the gas station at three in morning to get snacks, yes. he makes you feel right at home when you’re staying with him. always gives you some of his hoodies, in case you forgot some. gives you space when you’re changing. you staying with him honestly felt so right he’ll probably not want you to go back to your place, he’ll want you to stay with him forever.

first kiss: first kiss would probably be after your first date, you and him would be walking back to your apartment, after the date. it was cold, so you and him were holding hands, laughing about everything, completely forgetting that you were still on your first date, honestly feeling like you’ve been on your 4th one already. as you both approached your apartment it felt kinda sad, the night was still young and you both had a lot of bottles of wine to keep your minds racing and busy to even think about sleep. so it’ll be like a cheesy movie, he walked you to your door and now you both stood there, quiet, that is until, you decide to invite him into your home. Again like a rom-com you asked him if he wanted some water, only to turn around and see him giggling a shit-ton. you both being way too tipsy, you start giggling with him. the moment felt right and so he stopped giggling and walked up to you, softly crashing his lips on to yours. the kiss felt right, soft, gentle, warm. it was something you’ll definitely remember when your sober.

first ‘time’ with him: first time with Lewis would probably come a little unexpected to be honest. you both were a little over three months into your relationship. still a freshly new relationship, You both decided you wouldn’t want to rush into things, so you took things slow, honestly loving that a lot more than rushing. He’d ask if you wanted to spend the night at his knowing you had a spare change of clothes at his. the night felt right, it felt like you both moved in with each other. he’d make dinner while you cut up the vegetables, you both would be laughing about something, while drinking beers and feeding each other food like a movie scene. but as the laughter died down, and you and him were cleaning up, Lewis would cheekily pick you up and sit you down on the kitchen counter, no words needed to be said as he settled himself in-between your legs crashing his lips on to yours, the mixture of beer and lust overtaking your minds. he would be gentle with you, like you were a glass and afraid he would broke you. clothes would be tore off and thrown somewhere on the floor, soft sounds of moans and groans would fill the room as you left scratches up and down his back, while he whispered sweet nothings in your ear

first I love you: it’ll come after he won a race. he had invited you to go watch him race for the first time, as you had always said no, nerves not really that qualified to watch the man you loved race around in a fast car knowing anything could happen. when you finally said yes. you’ll arrive at the paddock, meeting all his friends, teammate, and all the other people in the garage. he’d be getting ready to race, everything on and car ready to go. as you watched him drive off your nerves did not slow down. but they did stop once you saw the checkered flag and his car finishing first. it’ll be, in his eyes, a perfect moment. everybody was cheering him on his he ran towards them celebrating the win with him. he would then run over to you, picking you up, swinging you around while planting kisses all over your face, and then the word would slide off your tongue so casually, a simple “I love you” being told in his ear by you, would have him stopping everything, and like in those movies, he’d take off his helmet dropping it to the floor, while crashing his lips on to yours, whispering I love you over and over, until somebody had to drag him off of you to go to the podium, but even while being dragged away from you he’d still be shouting I love you.

meeting his parents: throwing up, and having a panic attack is what you felt when Lewis suggested that you should meet his parents, having been going out for almost a year now, it was only right. but despite what you felt you said yes, not wanting to sound rude or disrespectful if you said no every time he asked if you wanted to meet them. so when the time came for you to meet them, Lewis would proudly show you off to them, which Honestly helped you step out of your comfort zone and talk freely with them. his moms and dad would constantly ask about when you’d both have children, ask about your own family and what you did for a living. his parents adore you, even if they met you for ten or five seconds, they already adore you, and they already consider you apart of the family.

Meeting your parents: now meeting your parents is a pain, not from your parents, no, from your two younger brothers. they are very overprotective of you and disapprove of everyone you date (they are ten and twelve), so when Lewis meets them, they immediately give him the what do you want with my sister talk which makes him laugh, but gives them a little speech about how much he loves you and how he brought them gifs, which immediately makes them like him. your parents on the other hand absolutely adore him, mostly because of how much you talk about him and how happy he makes you. and without even needing to question him or even sit him down and talk to him, they already consider him apart of the family and expect him to visit them when you do.

editing on mobile sucks so I'll fix it in the morning, also I’m happy with everything on here, except the meeting your parents so lmk if it makes sense or doesn’t and I’ll change it up a bit

#lewis hamilton #lewis hamilton fluff #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton x you #lewis hamilton drabble #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton imagine #f1 fluff #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 x you

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myperfectfatdads · 7 months

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OLD FELLOWS:

When my friend Derik invited me out to his grandparents mansion for the whole summer I was super excited! Me and Derik are best friends and to spend the whole summer with him in a mansion would be awesome! So of course I said yea right away and he said he would pick me up at my house tomorrow. When Derik arrived at my door he was in really good shape, we would always go to the gym together until he moved away to go live with his grandparents.

I myself had also been keeping in shape and was super excited to hear that his grandparents mansion had a whole gym in it!

“Well we’re here” said Derik, that was a long but good 4 hour car ride. His grandfather died a few years back and his grandmother lives in a foster care now so he had the whole place to himself! First thing I do is pick my room but it’s hard to decide because there are so many options. “I’ll take the one next to you Derik” I say, “Sounds good man after you unpack wanna take a dip in the pool?” Says Derik, you have a pool bro that’s awesome yeah of course I wanna get into the pool after I get my stuff unpacked. Waking into the massive backyard I see a huge deck with a big pool on it. “Hey bro I got some drinks in the cooler if you want any” says Derik, opening the cooler I see beer?! We are both only 20 to young to be drinking beer turning around I see Derik holding a beer bottle right in his hand. “Bro we are only 20 why do you have beer we still have a whole year left before we can drink it!” “It’s ok man who is going to know I mean we have this whole place just us two for the whole summer.” “Yea bro I guess you’re right I mean what’s the worst that can happen?” After saying that I grab a glass of ice cold beer and hop into the pool. Awwwww this is the life my guy, but this was also my first time trying beer after taking my first sip I’m met with a spicy cold kinda flavor, well it’s ok I mean there’s nothing special about it I say to myself. “Man I’m going to go inside and get changed here come with me I’ll give you a tour dude.” Getting out of the pool and getting dressed we head to the kitchen Derik tell me that his grandfather had a ton of money and bought this house and sadly died soon after that but it’s nice because now this place is mine. His grandfathers rooms still remains the same nothings changed, “yea I never had time or just wanted to clear this room out so it just sits here now” says Derik. Waking into his room nothing seems off about until I open one of the old jours and inside I find an old looking box with Derik’s name on it. “Hey bro there’s this old looking box with you name on it” I say “weird dude I haven’t been in this room in ages well let’s open it bro!” Looking inside the box there a note from his grandfather that says “Derik I see you have found my box the thing in here was really special to me and I want you to have it maybe it will be special to you too love grandpa.” Oh he left two rings cool! “Here bro you have one and I’ll have one now we’re matching!” Says Derik.

These are cool I wonder where your grandfather got them from. “Yea I wonder here come on let’s go finish the house tour.” Sounds good man! “So this is my room and next to my room is burpppppppppp omg bro I’m sorry that came out of no where” says Derik. Your good bro happens to the best of us. “Wow it got late really fast I think ima go to bed in a minute bro sorry” says Derik, you’re good I think I’m going to go to bed in a sec too. Walking up you feel great getting out of bed and going down stairs where you can hear Derik down there. Hey bro good morning, woah dude you ok your not looking to good your all hairy and you stomach it sticking out a little and you look a lot older bro.

“What do you mean bro I feel great you should take a look at your self” says Derik. Looking down at your self he’s right your stomach is sticking out a little too and your also getting really hairy and looking older.

Your right man that’s weird though because I wasn’t this hairy at all yesterday I mean we’re only twenty.

“Yeah bro your right well, I’m going to head down to the gym and work out do you wanna join me?” Yea I’ll be right down don’t you think this is a little weird though? “Yes of course this is really strange but I’m not going to think about it to much and just go try to burn off some of this fartttttttt oh sorry bro had to let that one out” says Derik. You ok man you never fart? “Never burppppppp better.” These rings your grandpa gave you do you know why he gave them to you because ever since I’ve put it on I’ve felt a little weird. “I mean I think he used to wear them all the time that’s all I know of aw screw the gym I’ll be in the pool chilling do you wanna join me I got beers.” Says Derik, yea why not bro here I’ll go get my swim suit on, while getting your swim suit on it feels like it barely fits and you have to really pull to get it on. “Awww this pool feels amazing and this beer is even better” says Derik, bro you gotta slow down you have already had three. “You can’t be talking yesterday you said you didn’t even like it and now you have all ready had two today, see I guess you do like it.” Ok man your right but you gotta slow down, is it just me or is your hair turning grey man I mean just look at it the color is fading. Also your face is really starting to fill out and get chubby I think it’s from the beer. “Ok man stop calling me old I’m not that old I’m only 30” says Derik, wait 30 no no we’re only 20 right? Yea that has to be right because we’re not allowed to drink beer but we have been all day wait we are 30 dang I’m already so old, hey dude your grandpas ring is starting to get uncomfortable I think I’m going to take it off. “Sounds good dude I think I may take mine off too.” Weird it’s not coming off maybe I need to pull harder, no that’s not it it’s stuck! Hey dude my ring won’t come off is yours? “Let me burpppppppp so uh not I can’t get it off thats weird though.” Says Derik, hey man I’m getting out of the pool I feel nauseous and I have bad back pain. “Yeah man age will do that to you when you get old” says Derik, old I’m not old I mean I’m only 35 I still have my whole life ahead of me. “I’ll get out with you I’m really tired I think I’m going to go to bed soon” says Derik. Your going to bed already man it’s only 5 we don’t normally go to bed intel like 10. “Yeah I just feel “yawnnnnn” tired tonight.” Also speaking of your grandpas ring your starting to looks like a grandpa man with your chubby cheeks and beach ball gut. “Well look at you bro you look like Santa with your big grey beard and big belly full of jelly haha.” Says Derik. “I’m going to bed man I know it’s early but pops has to get be in bed on time. Ok man also why are you calling yourself pops your only 37. “Haha yeah I’m just burppppppp oh that was a good one probably from all the beer.” While waking up stairs you see Derik walk right past his room, hey bro where are you going your room is this way. “What do you mean my room is this way it’s right here.” Derik points to his grandfathers room. Oh okay man your sleeping in there tonight. “Bro I always sleep in there also do you need one of my shirts your shirt is looking really tight on you.” Says Derik, yea I do, thanks bro this really helps, oh this white shirt fits great! “Well that’s good we’re about the same size well goodnight man” Yea you too goodnight, even though you told Derik the shirt fit great it’s really big but it will have to do for now. Waking up in the morning you put on a pear of Derik’s jeans that fit great and put on the white shirt he gave you yesterday, weird it used to be really big but now it fits perfect. Well I should probably go down stairs to see Derik while scratching you big grey beard. Walking into the kitchen Derik is not there, huh thats weird he’s all ways up super early in the morning. Going up stairs you go into his bedroom and see no one in there oh yeah he slept in his grandfathers room last night. Going into his grandfathers room he is met with not Derik but a old fat 65 year old man asleep on a chair in his bedroom.

You slowly walk up to the snoring man and slap is beer belly, the man jolts awake. “Burppppppp oh my bad man” says Derik. Hey have you seen my friend Derik he’s tall and fit. “What are you taking about I’m Derik right here your roommate beach ball guy you call me” says Derik, “fartttttt also man you have really grown out that beard I think I’m going to start calling you Santa clause.

Looking at yourself in the mirror your met with a fat 64 year old man. What does he say again? Oh yea ho ho ho. “Haha well man I’m going to go get a beer” A beer already I’m just joking it’s nine normally I’ve already had three, well what are you waiting for grandpa let’s go. “Burpppppp one sec pops needs a few minutes to stand up, I’ll meet you down there.” Haha you better be fast or they will be all gone.

#dad bod #weight gain #balding #beer belly #beer bloat #burping #fat belly #fatty #hairy belly #santa claus

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trivialbob · 3 months

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It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood ♪ ☼ ♫

I took two of my dogs for a walk around Lake Harriet. There's still ice along the shoreline. Ella wanted to walk on the ice but it's not safe, even for her 40 pounds. Sulley just wanted to lick the ice.

Unfortunately for Oliver, he remained home. Walking three dogs on leashes around other people is too much of a clown show for me to deal with.

Oh don't worry, Oliver got "Stay at home treats." Those are actually a thing at our house. My wife stores hem in a different jars, kept separate from the "We just got home treats," the "Good morning treats," and the "Oh, who's such a good dog?" treats (you have to use the right tone of voice when dispensing those last ones).

Quite of few runners were at the lake. That's no surprise with this nice weather. Many had awful early-season form. I could here them coming behind me, scraping shoes on the path or stomping like they're trying to put out a brush fire. There are going to be some achy knees and ankles tonight.

I saw a man riding a Specialized carbon fiber, full suspension mountain bike. Because he was on a smooth, paved bike path I assumed he pedaling to some far away hills. His chain made terrible squeaking noises.

The man was decked out in all the expensive-looking gear, from head to toe, from Gore-Tex to Lycra to micro fiber. Buying all of that must not have left funds to chain lubricant.

OK, fine. Maybe he was just doing a start-of-the-season shakedown ride near his home. Find out what needs to be adjusted or lubricated, before going to the mountain. A nice bike squeaking like that though sounded terrible. I have a comfortable pair of Børn shoes that squeak on grocery store floors. I would sooner shop in my socks than wear those squeaky shoes around other people.

During my walk I politely declined to purchase Girl Scout cookies at four locations. Those kids are showing up everywhere. On some street corners they set up tables and dare people to say no to cookies. If they start giving free samples on those corners, to get people hooked, those light green vests basically become gang colors.

The grocery store always has a table inside for the Scouts. Sometimes outside too. I can usually squeak past the girls without being noticed, as long as I am not wearing those Børn shoes.

Even the brewery lets the girls set up a table inside AND walk around to all the other tables. Strangely, boxes of Girl Scout cookies spontaneously appear in the trunk of my wife's Subaru when it's parked at the brewery. This generally happens while I use the rest room right before we go home. How does that car even know Thin Mints are her favorite?

This year I have consumed exactly one Girl Scout cookie. A friend at the brewery told me the Toast-Yay! cookies, flavored like French toast and with icing on the bottom, are excellent dipped in coffee. He had just purchased a ton of them and insisted I try one. It was very good, even without being dunked in coffee.

Tagalongs and Somoas were my favorites. I just don't have enough interest in cookies nowadays to buy any though.

#Girl Scout Cookies

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joelalorian · 6 months

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Tides of Desire - Chapter Three: The Cut of One's Jib

Pairing: Yacht Captain!Joel Miller x f!reader

Series Summary: TLOU no outbreak AU. Joel Miller is a luxury yacht captain running charters in the Caribbean. You join the crew as a deckhand and unexpectedly complicate Joel's peaceful existence. Basically the TLOU bunch on a Below Deck yacht.

Series warnings: 18+ MDNI, adventure, alcohol, injuries, fluff, angst, smut (eventual), slowish burn. Reader is a badass. Smallish age gap (reader is 32 or so, Joel is 40). Additional warnings will be posted with each chapter as needed. No use of y/n.

Series masterlist

Chapter Three: The Cut of One's Jib

Daylight barely made it through the porthole to pierce your eyelids, aggravating the fucking epic hangover you were sporting. Every part of your body ached, but none more so than your head. There must have been several angry little men with jackhammers battering away at your brain, it was the only explanation for the level of pain being inflicted.

Dreading the very thought of getting out of bed, you slunk onto the floor, legs already unable to perform their function. You needed sustenance asap, and no light breakfast would suffice. You needed a full, greasy spread and about a gallon of diet coke to take off the edge of this wretched hangover.

What was it you said to Joel that first day aboard the yacht? You liked to make sure your hangovers were worth it?

Yeah, that was a fucking lie. You had lots of fun last night, but not enough to justify a Stage 5 Hangover like this – what the hell?

It had to be the fucking shots. They were always enough to ruin a fine night out.

Food. No more thinking, you needed food before your aching brain could process much of anything.

Stumbling out of the cabin in rumpled pajamas, hair a wild mess around your head, you headed straight for the fridge in the crew mess and grabbed two cans of Diet Coke, two eggs, bacon, and cheese. Next, you grabbed a large bagel from the bread box, and proceeded to fry up the eggs and bacon. In record time, you were seated at the table devouring your greasy breakfast sandwich – an American staple as far as you were concerned – with a heavy sigh.

Your mouth was full, a bit of grease dripping down your chin, when Joel entered, his eyes raking over you with a furrowed brow. Too hungover to feel embarrassed, you merely nodded your head at him and kept eating.

“Fun night, I take it?” His tone was more clipped than usual while he turned to get a pot of coffee going. He preferred the pot rather than the Keurig, you noticed early on. Something about freshly grinding his own beans and letting the coffee percolate, he told you during a prior conversation.

“Mmhmm,” you replied around another mouthful of food. You swallowed, followed by a large gulp of soda from the can. “Listen, about your offer to guide me – how and when would you like to do this?”

Turning back to you, Joel assessed the view before him, dark eyes cataloguing your current hot mess state. “Well, you’re clearly in no shape to start anythin’ today. I’ll talk to Tommy later – once we pull lines on the next charter, you’ll come up to the bridge to steer us out of the marina. Good?”

Eyes widening, you nodded. “Er, yeah, that sounds spectacular. Thanks, Joel.”

His eyes softened slightly though he remained a tad standoffish compared to prior interactions. You weren’t sure why he was acting that way, but you also did not have the mental capacity to worry about it too much. The food and soda merely took the edge off the massive headache. You needed a shit ton of water and several more hours of sleep.

“Well, I’m heading back to bed to sleep this shit off,” you informed Joel as you grabbed a couple bottles of water and shuffled back to your cabin. He watched you go, face shadowed with a frown.

…………………………….

“Did you enjoy yourself last night?” Tommy’s eyebrows shot upwards at his brother’s tone. It was almost accusatory and left him bewildered. The events of the night before flashed through his mind trying to recall whatever he’d supposedly done to annoy Joel. Aside from getting quite drunk and dancing, mostly with you, he couldn’t think of anything. Unless… wait, was that it?

It was a routine on the yacht for the Millers to gather for breakfast as a family on their off day prior to each new charter and the three of them sat on the flybridge while the rest of the crew relaxed elsewhere. That morning, breakfast was rife with abnormal tension from Joel and Tommy’s hangover had him in a mood. Sarah merely sat watching the two of them with curiosity.

“I did, actually. Not sure why that annoys you though, brother.”

“Hmph,” Joel grunted in return, turning his attention back to the eggs Tess was kind enough to make him.

“You really gonna take that tone with me and not even tell me why?” Tommy growled in annoyance, matching dark eyes clashing as they glared at each other across the table.

“Oh, for the love of…” Sarah sighed, her fork clattering against the empty plate before her. “You two are ridiculous. You know you’re supposed to be grown men yet you both act like sullen little boys fighting over the same toy.”

“’Xcuse you?” Joel muttered, matching Tommy’s sputtered utterance of, “Rude.”

Scooping her fork up, Sarah used it to point at her father, her eyes meeting those of her uncle. “He has a… thing… for England and you were practically all over her last night.”

The scowl returned to Joel’s face – fucking hell, was he really that obvious? – and Tommy’s eyebrows popped up to nearly meet his hairline. “Well, shit,” he sighed at the realization that Joel had the hots for someone, finally. Sucked that it was the same woman he, too, found extremely attractive.

“Yeah, so maybe the two of you could keep it in your pants until the season’s over? She doesn’t need you both perving over her while she’s trying to do her job.” Sarah was only half-serious, having already picked up on the way you react to her father, which was entirely different to how you reacted to Tommy. You clearly had the hots for Joel as well and she thought you would make a nice couple. Knowing her dad as she did, though, Sarah knew that he wouldn’t do anything about it while on the yacht.

“For fuck’s sake, can we put an end to this conversation?” Joel stood, the words coming out of his mouth with a hint of mortification mixed with his obvious annoyance. Before either Sarah or Tommy could respond, he was gone.

Turning back to her uncle, Sarah looked at him pleadingly. “Maybe just chill this season, yeah?” He knew at once that she wanted him to back off from flirting or making a move on you and Tommy agreed. He wasn’t looking for a relationship anyway – seasonal or otherwise – just a bit of fun that he could find elsewhere. Joel was the relationship guy, when he allowed himself the indulgence, and you deserved that kind of treatment.

……………………………………………

Joel’s voice was a deep rumble over the radio calling for Sarah, Tess, and Tommy to meet on the bridge for the preference sheet meeting the next day. It was time for the rundown on the next charter.

“Our next charter is a bachelorette party.” Joel passed out copies of the preference sheets, the announcement drawing groans from Sarah and Tess and a gleeful grin from Tommy. “Eight women in their thirties – I need you to be on your best behavior, Tommy.”

“Why you gotta call me out like that, Joel?” the younger Miller brother grumbled, feathers ruffled.

“Gimme a break, Tommy. We all know you’re a sucker for bachelorette parties and you know the rules on charter.” Joel’s voice was firm, not willing to budge on the rule against fraternization with guests, no matter how attractive and willing they might be.

“Yeah, well, fifty bucks says at least one of them tries to get in the captain’s pants,” Tommy fired back earning himself a piercing glare from his brother.

Focused back on discussing the preference sheets, the department heads reviewed the primary guest’s requests – beach excursion with a barbecue lunch, water activities, a tour of the historic streets of San Juan, and, on the final night, a male review featuring the male crew, including the captain.

The contrast between Tommy’s glee and Joel’s distaste at the final request was comical, Sarah and Tess easily gave in to laughter at their expense. The blazing burn of the glare aimed at them from Joel did little to temper their amusement.

“Zip it already,” Joel grumbled, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he sat back in his seat. “Tess, why don’t you run through their food preferences for us.”

The requests amounted to typical yachting delicacies, but Tess knew that a group like this would consume a fuck ton of alcohol and the culinary cravings would likely shift to requests for fried or comfort foods. After making a few notes, Joel called the meeting to an end. The crew spent the rest of the day readying the boat.

The following morning started out with an unexpected squall – high winds and rain battered the marina for a few hours, leaving Joel to stress over the weather radar, hoping for a break in the storm in time for the arrival of the charter guests. If it didn’t, they would be stuck in the marina far longer than he’d prefer and it would affect his ability to have you steer the boat out to sea.

Joel found himself waffling back and forth between excitement to work closer with you and fear of getting too close – he still thought the offer to help you was his dumbest idea yet, but the thought of calling it off left him feeling hollow.

The squall blew through just in time for the guests to unload from their taxi, the ground still wet beneath their high heels. The women were already boisterous, screeches and girlish laughter piercing Joel’s ears as he and the crew lined up to greet them on the aft deck. The co-primaries were the maid of honor, a stunning brunette with impossibly long legs and a touch too much makeup, and the bachelorette herself, a tanned blonde with the prettiest ringlet curls adorning her head.

The women’s attention was instantly piqued at the sight of Joel and Tommy as the two most attractive of the crew, their eyes raking over them with hunger.

“Welcome aboard the Radiance, ladies,” Joel greeted the group once they all had flutes of champagne in hand. “Sarah will give you a tour and take you to your cabins. Please let any of us know if you need anything.”

“Would you join us for dinner this evening, Captain?” the maid of honor, Jessica, questioned before following Sarah to the upper decks, her slender hand sliding down his tanned bicep and forearm. The action left a trail of gooseflesh in its wake and Joel’s lips thinned prior to forcing a closed-mouth smile.

“It would be my honor,” he rasped, subtly stepping back from the woman. Joel’s eyes caught yours in a wide-eyed gaze as he realized you witnessed the interaction. You were gone before he could assess your expression.

………………..

You and Ellie worked the lines on the stern, listening to Tommy call out instructions over the radio as the engines spurred to life. You loved the burn in your shoulders and arms from hauling the lines in, it was an excellent workout. Once they were secured, Ellie turned to you.

“So, this is gonna be an interesting charter.” You grunted in agreement, already uninterested in watching a group of women throw themselves at Joel and Tommy. Before you could add anything of substance to the conversation, Joel radioed, requesting your presence on the bridge.

It was time to have your first lesson with Joel. Ellie’s face lit up, teasing you as you left.

Hands trembling with nervous energy, you made your way up to the bridge. Joel stood at the controls, still clad in his dress whites, the material hugging his broad build, and feet bare. You noticed that Joel loved to walk around the yacht shoeless. You weren’t a foot person, often finding them gross, but even you had to admit that Joel had nice feet – they were large, with long toes, and he clearly took care of them.

Your name was breathed into the room, drawing your attention to the fact that you stood there just staring at the man for however long. “Hi Cap,” you greeted with a bashful smile gracing your lips.

“You ready for your first lesson in being a Captain?” Joel waved you over, stepping aside to allow you to stand in front of the wheel. Instructing you on where to place your hands, he began pointing out the sight lines and various meters and equipment to keep an eye on while the yacht traveled out of the marina.

His deep voice was like velvet washing over you as you absorbed everything like a sponge. Despite your clear attraction and nervous energy, working with Joel felt natural, like you’d done it for years. He was a knowledgeable and patient teacher, and you soaked up his instruction and praise. Once the yacht was out in the open water, the pair of you watched the horizon.

“Thank you for this,” you gestured with your left hand across the bridge, the underside of your wrist catching Joel’s attention. His large hand gently grasped your hand, turning it palm up, and a long, thick finger traced over the pattern of the beautiful compass rose tattoo on your wrist. A delightful chill swept over you leaving gooseflesh in its wake.

“Beautiful,” Joel whispered, his dark gaze caught yours, his large hand still delicately grasping your smaller one. “I never noticed it before. Does it have meaning to you?”

You nodded dazedly, the warmth of his touch against your skin a distraction to clear thinking. “It’s an homage to my grandfather representing our combined love for the sea and it keeps me pointed in the right direction on my adventures.”

“Very fitting.” His voice rumbled from his chest and your hand fell from his grip. Clearing his throat, Joel made idle conversation, wanting you to linger on the bridge a little longer until you had to return to your duties. “Where do you call homebase when you’re not yachting?”

“It varies, I move around a lot, but right now I have an apartment on the gulf coast of Florida. How about you?”

“Sarah, Tommy, and I all live in Austin, Texas during our downtime. I’ve owned a house there since Sarah was born,” Joel explained.

“Is that near the water? Sorry, I don’t know Texas well.” You couldn’t imagine him living too far from sea.

“We have some rivers and lakes nearby, but it’s several hours away from the Gulf. We thought about moving to the coast, but there’s just something about Austin that I don’t want to leave.” Joel’s eyes softened further, likely recalling years of happy memories from back home.

You nodded, a tender smile on your lips. “It must be a nice feeling to have a connection to one place like that. I’ve never known that having shuffled around so much, even when my parents were alive. I guess the closest I’ve come was my grandfather’s cottage in England.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Joel asked suddenly and you shook your head. “No, I’m all alone in this world. I’m an only child and lost my parents about ten years ago, only a few years after my grandfather. They were both only children as well, our family was very small.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” he sighed, thick arms pulling you into a tight hug with your head tucked against his chest. Your arms slid around his waist of their own accord. The hug was warm with just the right amount of pressure – a niggling thought squirmed its way through your mind that hugs from Joel were the closest you’ve ever come to a feeling like ‘home’. The pair of you stood like that for interminable minutes, neither willing to let go, until Tommy called your name over the radio startling you from the peaceful moment.

Feeling vulnerable, you blurted a rushed goodbye and fled back to your duties. Your thoughts remained on Joel the rest of the day as the attraction grew the more time you spent with him.

Joel was in the same boat, pardon the pun, feeling the attraction grow as he learned more and more about you, each new bit of information making him curiouser still. His mind was pre-occupied with thoughts of you later that evening while dressing for dinner with the charter guests. It was something he was not the least bit looking forward to, but he could not turn down a dinner request.

The women were already seated at an elegantly decorated table on the flybridge – he made a mental note to commend Sarah and the other stews on their table décor – when he sidled up, dressed in his black uniform. Joel could feel all eyes on him, it felt like he was a piece of meat as he settled at the head of the table.

“Evening ladies,” he greeted, elbows perched on the table and hands clasped. Joel geared himself up as best he could, but these women were an unknown quantity having been drinking all day. He anticipated this dinner would be… annoying. Joel already sorted out a safe word with Sarah as a signal for her to call him away for some made up emergency if things got out of hand.

Almost immediately, the tipsy women began flirting, fluttering their eyelashes and staring with glassy doe eyes at him. The woman nearest him immediately squeezed his bicep without regard to his discomfort. “Do you work out, Captain?”

Joel grunted out a no, stating that yachting and staying active on the water was often a workout in itself.

“I bet it is,” Jessica, the maid of honor, chimed in from across the table, eyeing him with that hungry gaze again. Yep, he was definitely a piece of meat. “Tell me, Captain, are you single?”

Knowing that question was bound to pop up, Joel groaned internally. He briefly considered lying as thoughts of you flashed through his mind, but he settled for the truth in the end. “Yes. I don’t really have time for dating right now.”

“You’re still a man with needs that have to be satisfied,” Jessica purred, the rest of the table letting out collective sighs and giggles.

Good lord, Joel thought, this woman was downright predatory. “Sure, yeah.” The first course finally arrived, and Joel met his daughter’s eyes with a pleading look, silently begging her to get him out of this awkwardness.

The incorrigible maid of honor barely waited for the stews to place the plates down before continuing her pursuit of him. “Tell me, do you ever satisfy those needs with charter guests?”

You happened to step out on the flybridge at that moment, gasping with the impertinence of the question. Joel’s eyes shot to yours, wide and mortified. Your gazes remained locked as he replied with a sharp, “No. I don’t partake in nor tolerate that kind of impropriety on my boat.”

Sarah caught the safe word – impropriety – at once and stepped up to her dad’s side, bending to whisper in his ear. “Jesus Christ, dad. Let’s get you out of here before they rip off your uniform and have you for dinner.”

Joel’s face remained stoic as he nodded, gaze finally breaking from yours and turned to those seated at the table. “If you’ll excuse me, ladies, there’s an urgent matter I must deal with on the bridge.”

Shot from his seat like a rocket, Joel stormed past you, waves of anger and embarrassment washing over him. What a fucking disaster.

……………………….

The charter got progressively worse for Joel – Tommy, too – as the women binged on alcohol all day and flirted outrageously with the handsome brothers. Tommy was more tolerant of it, dancing flirtatiously along the edge, giving just enough sass back to keep them entertained without ever crossing the line. On the other hand, Joel had more than enough of the harpies after that first night and did not respond to their efforts beyond valiant attempts at polite, tight-lipped smiles. He kept to himself as much as possible the entire week, trying his best to avoid further embarrassing interactions.

It was all for naught. The maid of honor was relentless, going so far as trying to bribe Ellie into showing her where the captain’s quarters were late one night while she was on anchor watch. You were horrified on Joel’s behalf when Ellie told you the following morning. You were surprised the lecherous woman hadn’t explored the whole ship to hunt him down.

Sarah and her team were running ragged, constantly ‘on’ trying to keep the women entertained enough to distract them from harassing her father further.

Somehow, you all made it to the final night of the charter – the night the guests requested the male review. In all her infinite wisdom – before she realized quite how horrid these guests would be – Sarah ordered special uniforms for the men to wear for the review. They were basically Speedos patterned in the flag of the state or country each man was from. The women on the crew were lost in hysterical laughter when you informed them that your Australian ex-boyfriend always called them ‘budgie smugglers’. That became the crew’s new name for the small strips of fabric and the look on the faces of Bill and Joel when they were shown what they’d have to wear was something you’d never forget.

“What the fuck is this?” Bill barked gruffly, the scrap of fabric dangling from his pointer finger. His bearded face was marred with clear disdain. “I am not wearing this in front of guests. Or at all, for that matter.”

“Oh, come on, Bill!” Frank chided; his handsome face lit up with glee. Along with Sammy and Tommy, he was far too entertained by the idea of parading around in the tiny swimwear. “It’s all in good fun and will get us a good tip.”

While Frank continued his efforts to persuade Bill to participate, Joel’s eyes were shooting daggers at his daughter. “Sarah, baby girl, you can’t be serious with this shit,” he murmured. “I can’t wear this and only this in front of these women. They’ll eat me alive!”

As much as you would love to see Joel in a budgie smuggler, you were inclined to agree with him that he could not possibly wear one in front of these women, especially when you all knew they would be several sheets to the wind at that point.

Tommy, however, disagreed. “If I have to wear one, then so do you, brother. Man up, Joel.”

“I know, I’m sorry. But I promise, Dad, you will only be in front of them long enough for one song,” Sarah added, “then you can go back to hiding.”

Knowing he couldn’t make his crew do it if he wasn’t also willing – he was a collaborative leader, after all – Joel relented, grumbling under his breath the whole time. On the other hand, Bill adamantly refused to give in and even went so far as to tell Joel to fire him for insubordination. Of course, Joel would never, not for such a ridiculous cause, so he let the gruff man off the hook.

After a decadent dinner of pan-seared monkfish, sea scallops, and a bunch of other delicious-looking food you had no idea how to pronounce, the women were practically vibrating in their seats awaiting the show. The wine flowed along with the hooting and hollering for the male crew to come out once the table was cleared.

With Bill taking anchor watch, the rest of you were allowed to attend the show for the fun of it. You and Ellie stood off to the side with Emmy and Talia while Sarah played the MC. The men didn’t allow any of you to see them in their outfits before the show, so your mouth dropped open in authentic surprise when they each burst through the door to the flybridge, chests bare and bronzed, cocks secured in their budgie smugglers.

Tommy volunteered to be first, always willing to show off in front of the ladies. Your eyes widened at the size of him in the small bit of fabric. He was definitely above average, a thin happy trail leading down his toned stomach, and all of the guests noticed. Frank, Connor, and Sammy followed, each putting on a little show as they danced onto the deck. You were quite impressed with Frank’s moves.

To no one’s surprise, Joel emerged last, posture stiff and unyielding, bare feet practically stomping onto the flybridge. The sight of so much of him bare before your eyes caused your stomach to flip. Broad, tanned chest sparsely peppered with hair. Tummy slightly soft. Arms and legs thick with sinewy muscle. His budgie smuggler was patterned with the Texas state flag, just like Tommy’s, the lone star distorted with the sheer size of the bulge beneath the material. He was fucking huge, putting all of the other men on the boat to shame. Your eyes drank him in, pink tongue darting out to moisten your lips, your heartbeat staccato in your chest, your thighs clenched.

Joel’s scowl was etched in stone until his darting eyes met and held yours. Your reaction to him was visceral and he drank it in, using it to power through the awful experience. There was no doubt in his mind now, you were definitely attracted to him, and his confidence soared. The catcalls from the guests became background noise as he held your gaze, body moving without thought to the beat of the song playing through the speakers.

The song ended, the jeers of the guests the only sound left filling the night air.

“Take it off, Captain! Let us see that thing you’re working with!” the maid of honor exclaimed, practically salivating over the gorgeous man. Her body was already out of her seat trying to get to Joel, a desperate, feral gleam in her eyes.

You could read his lips as his heated gaze broke from yours, that sinful mouth forming the words ‘oh shit’ as the insane woman’s fingertips closed in on his bare chest. With panic in those soulful dark eyes, Joel turned sharply and fled to the safety of his quarters.

………………………………….

It was a relief to everyone when the bachelorette party charter finally departed for destination unknown. That was the strangest charter you ever experienced; the women were downright desperate for the Miller brothers, particularly Joel.

A mix of concern and lust for Joel plagued you all night, leaving you feeling dirty and no better than the women who objectified him the entirety of their charter. Your mind would not let go of the picture it snapped of him standing nervous yet proud in nothing but the budgie smugglers, looking like temptation incarnate. It flashed across your eyelids every time you closed your eyes. It played on repeat in your dreams. It haunted you in the shower in the morning and you caved to the unyielding throb in your core, fingers dipping to strum at your clit until the pressure snapped, teeth piercing your bottom lip nearly hard enough to break the skin in the effort to suppress your moans.

Flaming heat flooded your skin as the shame washed over you, the cold water flowing from the showerhead doing little to temper the burn. How could you face him after this? You really were no better than those desperate women.

You were quiet and atypically reserved as you joined Connor, Ellie, and Tommy in docking the boat, silently following Tommy’s callouts over the radio and nodding to Connor to respond when needed. You avoided gazes while hefting the guests’ luggage off the yacht. You hid at the tail end when the crew lined up, as far from Joel as you could possibly get on the aft deck. Forced smiles and false well wishes sounded down the line as the women thanked the crew, fawning over Tommy and Joel one last time, the maid of honor bold enough to slip her number into Joel’s pocket despite his scowl and complete rebuttal of her advances.

First to return to the deck crew duties, you missed seeing Joel discard the slip of paper in the nearest bin. The next couple of hours were spent sweating out your frustrations as you scrubbed and hosed down every inch of the decks. Once again, you were mentally and physically exhausted by the time Joel called for the tip meeting.

The crew was especially chatty when they gathered in the main salon, conversation about the outrageous charter guests flowing. You remained quiet, sunk down in the plush leather cushions in the corner of the sectional.

Ever observant, Sarah leant over from her spot next you, concern marring her smooth skin. “You okay? You seem… off.” Her voice was little more than breath in the air, not wanting to draw attention, though Tess’s observant eyes were surveying you from her spot. The older woman quirked a brow, silently asking the same question.

How could you explain to Sarah the thoughts you’ve had about her father? You couldn’t and guilt pulsed through you once more. You couldn’t even explain to yourself why this was affecting you so much, how could you even try to make it make sense to someone else?

“I’m alright, love. Just need to sleep for a week, I think.” That was the best you could offer in terms of a response. It was the truth anyway – a deep sleep without any dreams plaguing you was exactly what you needed.

Sarah looked like she wanted to pry, not entirely convinced that was all that bothered you, but Joel entered the salon and called the room to order.

Cheeks already flaming, Joel cleared his throat a few times. “This was obviously a challenging charter and I want to thank you all for the way you handled yourselves. You represented Radiance well despite the circumstances.” His right hand came up to rub at the back of his neck. “They, uh, left us a pretty good tip…”

He broke down the numbers and personally passed out everyone’s share, his deep brown eyes lingering on you when he stopped in front of you last. He longed to see your beautiful eyes meet his gaze now that it was clear to him you were equally attracted to him as he was to you, but you kept your chin tipped down, looking only at the pile of bills held out toward you.

“Thanks,” you muttered after too long a beat, eyes finally flashing upward to meet his for the briefest moment before looking away.

The resulting heavy sigh from Joel as he stepped away caught you off guard. Fuck, why were you making things so awkward?

“Provided your duties have been completed, you’re all free until Monday mid-day,” Joel called over his shoulder, departing for the bridge.

“Cocktails anyone?” Tommy asked, ready to blow off some steam. The rest of the crew seemed interested, even Bill and Frank, but you declined, opting for a shower and a long nap instead.

The afternoon hours passed in peaceful slumber, the soft tones of instrumental music playing through the earbuds you popped in before drifting off. You never budged when Tess came in to get ready that evening – the crew was going out for dinner and drinks to blow off steam.

“Hey, hun,” Tess murmured with a gentle nudge to your shoulder. “Are you sure you don’t want to join us?”

You rolled over with a little grumble, the earbuds slipping from your ears. “No, thanks. I just need a night in to relax. I can’t take another hangover like last week. Have fun without me!”

Tess nodded, knowing that would be your answer. “Thought so. I left you some dinner in the fridge to heat up. Make sure you eat, okay?”

You could hear the crew down the hall, already ramped up from day drinking. You knew you made the right decision when you didn’t feel an ounce of FOMO as they left.

The nap having refreshed body and soul, your mood was lighter when you rose, changing into a bikini for a dip in the hot tub. Padding through the crew mess with a towel slung over your shoulder, you grabbed a bottle of Pinot Noir and a glass before heading to the flybridge.

The boat was silent, gently swaying in its slip, and it felt like you had the entire thing to yourself. The sun dipped lower toward the horizon as you connected your phone to the sound system, selecting more instrumental music to play before you climbed into the bubbling water of the hot tub. A contented sigh slipped from your lips; head tilted back to rest against the padding with eyes closed. Stretching out, the jets soothed your aching muscles after five straight days of laborious work.

“May I join you?”

Your eyes shot open at the simple, soft request. Joel stood before you in just a pair of board shorts, bottle of wine and stemmed glass in hand – he clearly had the same idea as you.

Your eyes raked over his bare chest and arms before realizing you needed to respond. “Of course,” you breathed.

One corner of Joel’s mouth quirked up. “Do you want me to open this?” he asked holding up the bottle of wine.

“Y-yes, please,” you stuttered, quickly clearing your throat.

It was like a scene out of one of your dreams, watching Joel pour the wine and perch the glasses on the rim of the hot tub before climbing in. He sat a respectful distance from you, but he was just so broad and tall that it felt like he was everywhere. Your legs brushed against one another as they stretched out before you.

Joel’s gaze was heated as he stared at you, the burn of it like a laser on your skin. You sipped at the wine, wracking your mind for something to say. You were so overwhelmed with your attraction to the man, and you had no idea how or what to do about it.

“That was some charter, huh?” You immediately cringed internally. For fucks sake, that was the best you came up with. Pathetic.

The resulting chuckle that boomed from his chest soothed you. “It was certainly something, sweetheart. I’m glad to be done with those women.”

Your insides were melting, not from the heat of the hot tub, but from him calling you sweetheart. “Yeah, they were intense and, dare I say, rather… desperate and obnoxious.”

“Agreed,” Joel rumbled, the skin of his neck flushing. “I, uh, it was really embarrassin’ the way they were actin’. I never wanted to jump overboard in my life until this charter.”

The pair of you shared a few laughs at the charter guests’ expense before moving on to other topics. You talked about any- and everything under the sun, the flow of it easy and natural between you. The guilt and misgivings from earlier were long gone, easily explained away as being overtired and overwrought.

A second bottle of wine was opened after the sunset and the stars started to sparkle in the night sky. With each glass, you and Joel moved closer to each other until you were sitting right next to one another, bodies touching from shoulder to knee as the water bubbled around you.

“I shouldn’t say this, not while we still have more of the season left before us than behind us, but… I, uh, really like you… getting to know you, I mean… though I like how beautiful you are, too.” Joel seemed as surprised by his admission as you were, but you flashed him a dazzling smile.

“I feel the same way, Joel.” The words fell from your lush lips without effort or regret.

#joel miller #joel x reader #joel x female reader #yacht captain!joel miller #tlou #the last of us #pedro pascal #fanfic

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rothjuje · 2 years

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The kids were up crazy late last night. Cannot wait to get these twins back in cribs. I need my nights back, I need my mornings back (hence all the recent posts, I’ve been consistently nap-trapped since we got here last Friday).

Exciting finds: two unopened boxes of the blue bathroom floor tile. Should I save in case we need for repairs or do something fun with them? Also found a huge blackberry bush. They were common in CA and part of my childhood so I am very excited.

Not so exciting find: poison ivy. In several places, up the side of our deck being one. Seems like it will be a pain to get rid of. Neighbor warned me that it was an issue here but I hadn’t seen any until yesterday. Sigh.

Got the AC unit in! It’s pretty ugly and doesn’t work very well but I will take 80 over 86 degrees inside, thank you. We had to cancel the furniture piece that never came anyway, so there’s nothing to keep it safe from the toddlers who are obsessed with it. But it’s supposed to be 99 today with 56% humidity so I’m trading one sanity for another.

I realized for the first time this am that Justin doesn’t want all the things because his upbringing, he wants them because his peers have them. His peers are all aerospace engineers in Texas and Alabama (lots of aerospace there). Out of all his friends only two are married with kids, and both wives work full time. And they have big houses with nice cars.

But they didn’t have to spend money on IVF either, which was a huge expense/drained our savings at the time (we have also spent 2k just to keep the embryos frozen since making them).

Anyway. Justin went to high school in NJ, undergrad in FL, and grad in CA. So most people he has kept in touch with are in aerospace. A lot of my peers financially struggle to stay home with their babies or financially struggle to afford to live in the west coast.

Although, I do think upbringing ties into it. We had money growing up. My parents also had Big Stress. Big Wins and Big Vacations but also Big Stress. They both worked full time and did real estate projects on the weekends. They weren’t around much, but neither were Justin’s parents who also both worked full time (his mom was there for dinner every night though and had a more flexible schedule).

I used to tell people I wanted to be poor when I grew up. I thought money bred stress and bigger problems. What I wanted then is what I want now; a simple life. I want to be present for my children. I don’t want Big Stress or Big Wins or Big Vacations. I want to bake with my kids and frolic in the yard picking berries and whatever else I can manage to grow. (My parents weren’t around as much but they made it count when they were, I have tons of memories with my mom of berry picking and hatching chicks from eggs and dinners and camping with my dad etc)

Justin didn’t grow up with big money or big stress, so he doesn’t understand that to have big money you make sacrifices, and that sacrifice is typically your sanity. Or your family. Or both.

Either way, Justin and I were lucky to grow up safe, loved, and very privileged. And our kids will too, even if I have to leave them to go back to work to afford to live here. I think getting to stay home with your babies is the ultimate privilege and I never take it for granted.

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fourseasonsfigs · 1 year

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Fifth Sister

We're going to hang out a bit longer in the Junzhe Extended Universe - why wouldn't we, when the figs are just this cute?

Here we have Gong Jun as Prince Zhong Wumei from the TV show Unique Lady 2. The scene where Wumei dresses up as a lady to trap marauding bandits is so good we now have two figures to celebrate it! You may recall I posted about the first figure here.

As a recap, Prince Wumei makes a strikingly beautiful woman:

This is so cute. I love his face when he decks the bandit!

The prince arrived all dressed up in his finery, with a very special orange gardenia fan! This is, of course, not the fan he has in the show, which is decorated by two other beautiful ladies:

But, the fan has our fandom symbols on it, so I love it!

Here he is, all cute and smiley and being absolutely adorable. I love these figs! I want tons of Wumei-dressed-to-lure-bandits figs!

He's so fancy, with the golden earrings and the gilded hairpieces! I like how they accentuated his eyes at the corner with makeup here too.

This is an even better shot of the jewelry, and of the back side of the double-sided fan.

This hairstyle is super intricate...you can tell by the photo and video.

I really love all the swaying motion the fig maker put into the robes and the hair. Very cute and flirty luring bandits! They had it coming.

The part in the video where he pretends to trip and fall is fantastic. I don't think his hand waving up here is from that, but it still makes me giggle!

Ah, Zhong Wumei, so enchanting!

He stands great - no issues with him falling over at all.

I just love him! Did you notice he has his pinky finger very elegantly stuck out there on the hand holding the fan. If you take a look back at the video, you'll see that is actually the case!

No flirty knickers like we saw in the other Wumei figure!

I love this ornate hairstyle they put him in - very pretty with the piled coils of hair and the golden hair ornaments.

I had to laugh since my extremely rudimentary Chinese language learning skills actually paid off on this box card! The characters are wu (five), and mei (little sister), for a play on Wumei's name. I can't express the delight in realizing that laboriously working through my first two units in Duolingo and Hello Chinese worked out here! Numbers 1-10 and learning how to describe family members came through for me 😅

That's the last one in this 4-figure series of figs! Happy to have finally finished posting about each of these. I really love the JZEU...I think it's so much fun.

Material: PVC

Fig Count: 325

Scene Count: 24

Rating: The lady has some strength!

[link back to Master Fig Index for more posts]

#zhong wumei #unique lady #gong jun #word of honor cast #woh cast #shl cast #figthusiast #junzhe

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survey--s · 9 months

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602.

At the moment 1. How are you? I’m doing pretty good apart from having period pains. 2. Are you with anyone? Simba is asleep behind me, Purrlock is on the bookshelf and I think Toby is on the fridge. Mike and Archie are both upstairs. 3. Are you doing anything besides this survey? Watching a re-run of Below Deck. 4. What are you listening to? Below Deck. Simba is also purring right in my ear lol. 5. Are you talking to anyone? Not at the moment, no. 6. What are you wearing? Black leggings and a black and white floral tunic dress/top. 7. Are you eating or drinking anything? Just a can of Pepsi Max. 8. Is there anything going on in the room you’re in? Just the cats sleeping and me doing this survey. 9. How is the weather outside? Windy and getting dark even though it’s not even 8pm yet. 10. What time is it? It’s currently 7.37pm.

Lasts:1. Who is the last person you talked to? Mike. Unless you count the cat, lol. 2. What is the last food you ate? Salt and vinegar crisps. 3. What is the last text asleep? That makes a ton of sense, lol. 4. Where is the person you last hugged? He’s upstairs playing on the xBox. 5. When is the last time you cried? I can’t remember the last time I cried. 6. What did you do for your last birthday? We had a snow day. I had a couple of cat visits to do and then we just chilled at home as most of the roads out were closed. I think we got takeaway too. 7. Where is the last person you kissed? Upstairs in bed. 8. Besides anything computer related, what is the last thing you touched? My nose as it just got really itchy. 9. When is the last time you changed clothes? This morning after I took a shower. 10. What was the last TV show you watched? Below Deck. Before that it was Two and a Half Men.

What’s/Who’s your favorite: 1. Color? Purple. 2. TV show? FRIENDS. 3. Food? Steak, fries or pizza. 4. Season? Autumn as long as it’s not too wet. 5. Movie? Alice in Wonderland. 6. Item of clothing? I don’t really have a specific favourite, it depends on my mood. 7. Band? The Beatles.

8. Place to be kissed? My lips, cheek or neck. 9. Friend? My closest friend is Mike. 10. Sibling? I don’t have any siblings.

Listings:1. List five green things in the room you’re in.There isn’t really much in here that’s green. Uhh…a pair of shorts, some wax melts, a book cover, a DVD box and there’s some green in a painting too. 2. List four best friends. Mike, Susie, Jenn, my mum. 3. List seven things you’ve done today. Had a lie in, had a shower, made a bacon sandwich, binge-watched Below Deck, played “find it” with the dog, took a bunch of surveys and watched Alice in Wonderland. 4. List one place you’d like to visit. Japan. 5. List three holidays you like. Christmas, Halloween and Easter. 6. List two favorite stores. Fat Face and Waterstones. 7. List one reason you and your ex broke up. He lied to me about how many children he had. 8. List four things you like about your appearance. My height, my piercings, my tattoo and my nose. 9. List eight things you like about your best friend. He’s honest, kind, hard-working, loyal, funny, sarcastic, animal-loving and an all-round good egg.

10. List two favorite colors. Purple and grey.

Random questions 1. Would you care if a friend was friends with an enemy of yours? I mean, it’s not up to me who other people are friends with. 2. What was the last book you read? I honestly don’t remember. I’m not really a big reader. 3. Are you looking forward to going back to school? I haven’t been in any kind of education for 12 years now. 4. Was this one of your favorite summers? Why? I mean, it wasn’t a bad summer but I wouldn’t say it was one of my favourites. 5. Is there anything you’ve always wanted to do? Visit Japan. 6. Where is the person that means most to you right now? Upstairs. 7. How many best friends do you have? I wouldn’t really describe anyone as being a best friend. 8. Do you have any cuts or bruises on your body right now? Sure, I always do. I work with animals so it’s kind of part of the job. 9. Are you holding back doing or saying anything? No. 10. What time will you go to sleep tonight? I’ll probably go to bed in about an hour, but I don’t normally go to sleep until closer to midnight.

#survey #surveys

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hyunnows · 2 years

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Who you gonna call and light years alsjdjsksks

ooh yay ty jas

Who You Gonna Call? KNJ

mmm because i dont have a very put together draft ill leave a little bit of my story notes :>

Namjoon gets up the next day, unenthusiastic about his new department. Still, he’s going to put his all into debunking these X-files. The first thing he notices about the office is its disorganization. Files everywhere, tapes, cameras and other types of evidence pinned haphazardly or stacked in boxes. Drawers are open and flooded all around the room. It’s chaos. The next thing he notices is you, a laid-back detective looking over a file whilst drinking chocolate milk with a microwaved ramen cup. “Hello?”

“Oh, hi! You must be Namjoon, right? My new partner.”

“Not for long…”

You two can get along, but can’t agree on most topics. You believe in Bigfoot, Namjoon thinks if he were real, he’d be caught by now. Especially when he recalls how most cases regarding the cryptid end up being hoaxes.

“We’re in the government, there’s no way you don’t know about cover-ups. Heck, day-to-day crimes get swept under the rug and disguised all the time for the sake of reputations. Why wouldn’t those Bigfoot confessions and evidence be cover-ups?”

Namjoon can’t deny that your arguments are pretty plausible. He checks over the file she’s reading, the first case they’ve been assigned as partners. Claimed haunting at an old house sometimes used as a venue. “Choi Mansion. Man named Min Yoongi swears it’s haunted.”

When they arrive, Namjoon’s unpleasantly surprised to see Seokjin and Taehyung’s excited faces already at the site. “What’re you guys doing here?” They’re decked out, and they have tons of supplies everywhere, having been at the crime scene for a couple of hours by now.

“We were contacted by the owners. Wait—is this one of your cases? Is this your partner?” Seokjin’s too ecstatic to meet you, and much to Namjoon’s dismay, you two get along perfectly. Even worse—you’ve decided to work together on the case.

“Are you even allowed to share this information with them?”

“Who’s gonna tell on me? It’s just you and I in this department.”

He’s going to tell. Probably. Maybe.

No, he won't. He doesn’t want you in trouble. He needs to debunk your work, or else they’ll just add someone else to the department.

Lightyears KSM

You and Seungmin--along with a few others--are engineers. Naturally curious, you find it odd how the spacecraft you've been assigned to build seems to have flaws that have been ignored along with unsafe buildings and safety neglections that seem far too many to be a coincidence. Chan was like you, constantly curious, and he had a theory. A theory he wasn't able to share with you before he went missing. Now its up to you to find out what Chan wanted to tell you, and to find out what's really going on. All the while trying to convince Seungmin not to trust the very people who have you creating the spacecraft. (its a mess, ik, but this is the main bit ig lmao)

#tee spam #tee’s thoughts #tee #ask game #ask games #games #jas #tyy jas ilysm </3333 #crispychan #postcards

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rookie-critic · 1 year

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Rookie-Critic's Film Review Weekend Wrap-Up - Week of 2/27-3/5/2023

-The Sea Beast (2022, dir. Chris Williams) This was beyond fun. I'll admit my bias towards pirate-y/sailor-y stuff up front, but even aside from that this was just an amazingly crafted, beautifully animated film with a well-told story. The characters are well voice-acted and vibrantly full of character and life. Jared Harris' Captain Crow in particular was fantastic. This really gave me the vibes of the best animated adventure films from the 90s; it had that sense of wonder and heart that the film's from my childhood did and it struck a chord, for sure. Plus, any film that points out how history books might not be completely trustworthy if the ones holding the power are the ones that wrote the books is a win from me. The only reasons this isn't getting a full 10/10 is because of a few small plot devices that aren't explored fully and the fact that the story isn't anything super new or groundbreaking. Anyone who sees that this is nominated for an Oscar and thinks "why the hell is this here?" clearly hasn't seen it and I recommend that you do so immediately. Score: 9/10 Currently streaming on Netflix.

-Rocky (1976, dir. John G. Avildsen) [REWATCH] I've started a Rocky-thon of sorts in order to prepare to go see Creed III, so naturally, first up would be the original 1976 Best Picture winner. The story of street-kid Rocky Balboa's one-in-a-million chance at becoming a professional boxer almost mirrors writer/lead actor Sylvester Stallone's own journey in getting this very film made, and there is a ton to like about Rocky, even outside of the amazing final scene where he fights Apollo Creed for the first (but most certainly not the last, as we've all come to find out) time. The cinematic brilliance of that final fight and subsequent shouting of "ADRIAN!!" cannot be underplayed. No spoilers, of course (although if you're over the age of 20 and have never seen Rocky before, what are you even doing?). I think my biggest issue with the film is it feels very meandering in its first 90 minutes, even by character study standards, which this most definitely is. You get a feel for who Rocky is as a person pretty early on, then the rest is just watching him mumble-through awkward encounters with Talia Shire's Adrian until, miraculously, that blossoms into a relationship. I just had a hard time connecting with Rocky from a personality level, not to even mention the machismo that will continue to plague the franchise well into its lifespan. Also, and I'll get more into this in my other Rocky reviews, but I really, really don't like Paulie. He served a purpose in this film, but man, I've spent four films wishing someone would just deck him. I'm never gonna knock someone for liking Rocky and thinking it's amazing, because a lot of it is, but I found too much lacking in it to give it higher than the score I gave it. Score: 7/10 Currently streaming on Netflix.

-Rocky II (1979, dir. Sylvester Stallone) [REWATCH] Onto the second installment in this all-time classic franchise, and this time there's a rematch. Personally, the story in Rocky II, that is to say the first 90 minutes of film prior to the big fight, interested me way more than the original. Seeing Rocky struggle with the aftermath of success, and the aftermath of short-lived wealth was so compelling. The dichotomy of wanting to live a quiet, peaceful life with your partner and build something away from the quite dangerous world of boxing with the pull of this thing that has been your world for so long, this thing that is your true calling, made for a much more interesting film than the first. Combining that with an increased presence of Burgess Meredith, who was, without question, the best part of the entire film, had me more invested in the narrative through line of Rocky II more so than I ever was in Stallone's first outing. However, where Rocky II falters is in its attempts to recapture the magical moments of the original film. The training montage in this one is, frankly, just silly, and running up all those steps doesn't seem quite as impressive when a thousand children have also just followed you up there and don't look any worse for wear than you do. The fight at the end of the film, while still not bad, isn't nearly what the first film's was. I've heard fans of the franchise say that the fight in this one is one of the best parts of the film, but I just couldn't get hyped up like I was during Rocky's first match with Apollo Creed. Also, Paulie, who I already hated, has lost his purpose for existing in this world outside of to just be an annoyance and something to be tolerated and worked around, and he continues to be this in an ever-worsening way in the future installments. Overall, a better story, but worse in all of the places that made the first film iconic. Score: 7/10 Currently streaming on Netflix.

-Cocaine Bear (2023, dir. Elizabeth Banks) I won't dwell on this too long, as I posted a full review earlier on in the week. This movie is exactly what it advertises itself as, which is a fun, schlocky romp through B-movie horror-comedy territory. Plenty of vibe-conforming bad CGI and gory bits to please any and everyone who saw the trailer and thought "Well, I gotta see that!" Ray Liotta, Alden Ehrenreich, and O'Shea Jackson Jr. are all great, but Christian Convery is the true Cocaine Bear MVP. My complaints with it are more with the editing and the technical end of things, as well as not being the biggest fan of the film's surprisingly half-boring first act. This one is a fun, wacky, and harmless distraction of a film and I had a blast in the theater watching it. Score: 7/10 Only in theaters. Read my full review here.

-A House Made of Splinters (2022, dir. Simon Lereng Wilmont) This documentary about a temporary children's shelter located just a handful of kilometers away from the Ukraine/Russia war's front lines is heartbreaking and, at times, an incredibly tough watch. It shows a consequence of any war that doesn't necessarily always get a light shined on it, which makes this something truly unique. The Ukraine conflict almost exists only as a backdrop. It is clearly the reason for the sheer number of children being housed in this facility, but it is barely mentioned, nor is that particular war really the focus or the point of the documentary; that is placed squarely on the children. The resilience of these kids is truly wondrous, ranging from younger children who maintain their childlike playful nature, even in these extreme circumstances, to slightly older (but still very much young) children who have clearly had to grow up faster than any child should. As a small look into this tiny-but-not-so-tiny, unexplored corner of the war, A House Made of Splinters was a very eye-opening experience. Score: 8/10 Currently available to rent/purchase on digital (iTunes, Amazon, Vudu, etc.).

-Rocky III (1982, dir. Sylvester Stallone) [REWATCH] This is my favorite Rocky of the classic run, bar none, hands down, no contest. It is easily the most fun, easily the most purely entertaining, and has what, to me, is easily the best fight of those first four films. Mr. T is brilliant as Clubber Lang, and Burgess Meredith and Carl Weathers continue to be scene-stealing masters as Mickey and Apollo Creed. I've read that many, many people (both fans and critics alike) think this is the most rewatchable film in the Rocky franchise and I could not agree more. It's still not just a blazing masterpiece or anything; it falls prey to trying to recapture those iconic moments of the first one just like Rocky II did, although to a lesser degree, and Paulie continues to be a giant bag of useless crap that adds nothing to this franchise whatsoever, Stallone even sees fit to add "racist" to Paulie's seemingly never-ending list of (excuse my language) dogshit qualities, for good measure. All of that aside, I had an absolute blast with Rocky III. It's so close to being an 8/10 it can almost taste it, but there are too many things still dragging it down to earn that extra point. Score: 7/10 Currently streaming on Netflix.

-Magic Mike's Last Dance (2023, dir. Steven Soderbergh) How do you strip the magic out of Magic Mike (puns absolutely intended)? You reduce the supporting cast that made the first two entries, especially the second one, so much fun to mere cameos, and then you take Channing Tatum's Mike Lane to London and place him in a position where he only gets to fully dance twice in the entire film. You also throw in a really contrived and unnecessary voiceover and make the big set piece at the film's end, which has been sold to us as something that's supposed to be truly spectacular, a pretty fun strip show, but not one that's any better than the stuff we got at the end of the previous film. I was also surprised by an uncharacteristically sub-par turn from Salma Hayek Pinault, who is normally a great actress. I'm not entirely sure if it was that her character was poorly written, or if her acting was really not good even for the material she was given, but it shocked me to see a veteran actress like Hayek Pinault give something far below her usual. All was not completely lost, though, as the choreography was great, as usual, and the film has still got a trace of the humor that made XXL so fun. I didn't have the worst time with Magic Mike's Last Dance, but I was disappointed. Soderbergh can do better, and I kind of hope this is, indeed, Magic Mike's last dance. Score: 5/10 Only in theaters.

-Rocky IV (1985, dir. Sylvester Stallone) [REWATCH] I'm sorry, I know Rocky fans the world over consider this one of the good ones, but it's bad. It's pretty bad. The runtime is extremely padded with completely unnecessary montages, a couple of which are just music videos for songs on the film's soundtrack. The fight at the end is not worthy of the really good setup that Ivan Drago gets in the film's first half; it's not a bad fight, per se, but the buildup was so big (like I said, there are so many training montages) for a fight that was largely no more intense than the fight from the original film. Not to mention Paulie's robot, which he manages to insert his sexism into (and the film plays it all for laughs), the fact that both Rocky and Adrian abandon their child ON CHRISTMAS to go fight the big-bad Russian man, leaving little Rocky Jr. in the care of the freaking robot! There's also the unavoidable subject of this being a cold-war propaganda film, which might be the most disappointing part of the whole thing. The franchise seems to be a complete bastardization of itself at this point in its lifespan, and it's getting the points I am giving it for Carl Weathers and the great setup of Drago as a menacing villain alone, even if the payoff for that setup was lackluster. I understand Stallone released a director's cut of the film a couple years ago that re-contextualizes a lot of the film into more of a character study befitting the tone of the first few entries. I'd be very interested to watch that and see if that's true. Score: 4/10 Currently streaming on Netflix.

-The Wicker Man (2006, dir. Neal LaBute) The classic. The infamous. The "not the bees!" one. This was the latest film my college friend group watched as a part of our "Nicolas Cage Fridays" movie night. It is everything that people have built it up to be, although maybe not quite as absolute trash as I've heard. It isn't good by any means, but Cage's acting outside of those few beautiful moments where we get full-Cage isn't really that bad. It's not great, but it's pretty standard stuff. It's an interesting enough story, but none of it ever really comes together in a way that isn't unintentionally hilarious. Also, this has no bearing on my score, but I was not aware that there are two different cuts of this film, a theatrical and an unrated. We watched the theatrical version, apparently, so imagine my surprise when the end of the film comes along and that truly iconic line and scene is just completely skipped over. I was livid. Thankfully, that appears to be the only big difference between the two versions, so it was nothing a quick YouTube pull-up couldn't fix. I had a fun time with The Wicker Man, but I attribute most of that to watching it in a group setting and not to the film itself. I really want to watch the original Christopher Lee film from 1973 that this is a remake of, because I hear that is much better. Score: 4/10 Currently available to rent/purchase on digital (iTunes, Amazon, etc.) and on DVD and Blu-ray through Warner Bros.

-Children of the Corn (2023, dir. Kurt Wimmer) An unfortunate fun fact about me is that I have, regrettably, seen all 10 (now 11) entries in this godforsaken franchise. It's one of the unfortunate side-effects of being dedicated to watching all Stephen King-related media. I'm not proud of it, but it is a sunk cost fallacy that I cannot separate myself from. That being said, in the realm of horrible Children of the Corn films (which is basically all of them), this one at least had a decent production value and acting that wasn't laughably atrocious. I think more than anything, this entry suffers the most from being just kind of uninteresting. It comes from the angle of showing just how the town became children-of-the-corn'd, which is interesting, in a way, but once the proverbial shit hits the fan it's just more of the same that we've already seen a handful of times (or, if you're a normal person, maybe only seen once). I think the thing that I hate the most is that I know that, inevitably, there will be another one, and I will go see it, because I've made this bed of corn husks for myself, so I might as well lie in it. Score: 3/10 Only in theaters.

I saw Return to Seoul this morning, but don't feel like I've formed my opinion enough to even give a mini-review yet. That will most likely be a full-length one that I will type up tomorrow. I'm also currently in the middle of Argentina, 1985, so look out for that on next week's wrap-up.

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