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possamble · 2 months

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What are your headcanons about Marcille's mom if you have any? It's interesting that what drew Donato to her was cause she lived the history he studied, or that was said somewhere at least. She must've had an interesting life.

so this was going to be just a normal answer but then I realized I have a Lot of Things To Say. so here goes, a compilation of what we know for a fact from the canon, what I've extrapolated from the visual cues and details, and my theories based on all of that.

Things we know for a fact about Marcille's mother because they were explicitly stated in the manga and supplemental materials:

She was a court mage for a Tall-man kingdom at the southern part of the Northern Continent

Donato, a court historian, fell in love with her because she had lived through the history he was studying, and he courted her for 17 years (age 15 to 32) before getting married

She was a cheerful person who rarely showed extreme emotion and took things as they came

She always cooked a huge meal for Marcille on her birthdays

She remarried a gnome after Donato's death and a short distance away from Marcille's childhood home

Pipi, Marcille's pet bird, was actually older than Marcille and originally belonged to her mother (bird died at 62)

She was extremely heartbroken when Donato died and ultimately ended up instilling a deep fear of mortality in Marcille with her words

the only time she showed extreme emotion in front of her family was when Donato could no longer eat his favourite dish near the end of his life.

She scolded Marcille for being cruel to ants (implying she can have a stern side when needed)

Things that are explicitly shown but mostly through visual cues

She has a very distinctive style of dress always involving a ribbon choker (mirroring Marcille's habit of always wearing a matching choker with any of her outfits that don't cover her neck)

She was almost stereotypically good at housekeeping and traditionally "wifely" things (very frequently depicted wearing an apron or doing some domestic chore when not at work, seems to have been an avid cook).

She knits? (also, note the affectionate smile as she's looking at Donato and Marcille reading a book together in the full panel)

She was as excited for Marcille's milestones as Donato was.

She didn't tell Marcille much about elven food

(there are a couple things that this panel in particular implies:

She lived a good deal of her life (if not being born and raised) in a mainly elven country in the West, implied by her knowing enough of an elven region's cuisine to prefer Tall-man food over it

seems to have a pretty carefree and casual demeanour overall, if this is how she replied to Marcille asking her about it (sounds like she never gave her culinary preferences that much thought to begin with)

slightly related to number 2, it seems like she and Marcille had a fairly casual parent-child dynamic (especially in comparison to the Toudens' memory of their father)

(local elf tastes Italian food once and never goes back))

However, she seems a lot more... serious in most of the other times we see her? Almost like the very stereotypical archetype of a graceful elf.

Subsequent conclusions about her personality:

Usually pretty carefree and cheerful at home, has been a loving and attentive parent throughout Marcille's childhood (while not being so doting that she didn't discipline Marcille).

Slightly more conjectural theories on her personality:

Had a much more graceful and professional personality at work, which would explain the more serious portraits we see of her.

Given that both she and Donato had positions at the royal court, it seems a little odd that she'd go out of her way to do all the housework herself, so maybe she just enjoyed doing it?

Now taping all the evidence together and toeing the line between analysis and fanfiction:

It's clear that she loved Donato very much and was utterly devastated by losing him. But there's one thing that really stuck out to me in what little we see of her:

Doesn't she seem... angry? The way she's gritting her teeth, clutching the tablecloth, and how this is the first and only time we see her eyes opened that wide. In the following panel, you see her being quiet and dejected after her initial outburst. She's still crying very intensely, but her brows are furrowed, and she's not really responding to Donato's affection in her body language.

We're not told the details of how she felt about losing Donato other than that it upset her. But this, to me, implies that she was angry and resented that he was aging, that the end of his life was approaching. An "it's not fair" type of preemptive grief. And if this was the first and last time she cried like this in front of her family, she was either very good at coping in private... or very bad at letting herself feel unpleasant emotions until they become unavoidable and end up overwhelming her.

It's not too remarkable a detail on the surface. It's even reminiscent of what the audience has seen of Marcille. But... when it comes to the big picture, you'd think an elf who voluntarily chose to marry a tall-man and have a half-elf child would have been better prepared for this.

It kind of recontextualizes her cheerfulness to me.

"I'm sure everything's gonna be okay!" (or some variation thereof, depending on what translation you have).

And this is stated to contrast her extreme grief when finally confronting Donato's failing body and eventual death. But I'm wondering if... maybe this optimism was why she was so upset. What if she went into all of it thinking "everything's gonna be okay"? What if she was a little young by elven standards, and just followed her heart thinking that her own resilience would get her through anything?

Of course, only to get completely overwhelmed when she actually loses Donato. She turns into a completely different person. And that's heartbreaking on its own-- but what the audience sees is the effect it had on Marcille. Can you imagine being her, watching your invincible and upbeat mother suddenly lose all the light in her eyes in one go?

I've already made a huge post about how I think Marcille models her "work persona" off her mother, but another thing that stuck with me as I was looking for more details in the manga was this:

copy pasting from the other post i made about it lmao it's like... the second she resigns herself to lifelong pain and terror, there's another portrait of her mother facing her like this. with their heads bowed, in mirrored body language of resignation and despair and sorrow. Except it's posed like Marcille is still looking at her mother but her mother is looking away.

It took me a second to realize, but I think that it's a visual metaphor for the fact that Marcille's mother was the only long-lived role model she had-- and she failed to model healthy grief for her daughter. I don't say this as an accusation or to disparage her as a character, but just as a matter of fact. In her, Marcille was seeing herself older and losing a short-lived spouse or loved one of her own, and all she saw was hopelessness.

But her mother didn't mean to instill hopelessness and terror in her. She wasn't really thinking of how it would truly affect Marcille at all (at least, that's how I'm interpreting her looking down and away from Marcille in the metaphor), she was just sad. And she, in her own way, was trying to protect her daughter and help her prepare for future losses.

What she meant was "loss is inevitable, and you have to learn how to be in pain but live on anyway." What Marcille heard was "loss is inevitable, and you will be scared and hurt for the rest of your life."

Again. Marcille's mother doesn't feature explicitly in the story the way her father does -- but in so many ways, her shadow, her silhouette, her reflection is always hanging over Marcille.

All that to say... headcanon-wise (everything from here on is 100% without evidence lmao), I'd like to think that she matured and realized that she failed Marcille. I imagine her being regretful about it, wanting a chance to fix it but never finding a way to insert herself back into Marcille's life when Marcille is so so so busy becoming the most accomplished mage possible. I imagine her being herself again, now, so many years after her loss and after remarrying -- but with her cheerfulness tempered with a lot more wisdom and the pain of having gone through loss like that. I think the second Marcille actually tells her what happened in the dungeon, she'd want to go running to her daughter again -- if Marcille tells her the full truth instead of just being embarrassed she let things get that far. (oh, the tragedy of her wanting to be more like her mother and an accomplished adult who doesn't need to be babied... being embarrassed to actually tell her mother how much she fucked up...)

There's also the tension of her having remarried -- I know that there's at least a little bit of resentment that Marcille harbours about that, because she's childish like that at heart even if she makes an effort not to externalize it. I think that her mother would be aware of that, potentially adding to her sense of guilt and apprehension at trying to reappear/intrude on Marcille's life. I honestly don't think Marcille has met her stepfather -- or even considers him a stepfather rather than "mama's new husband" and kind of a total stranger. I think she and her mother actively don't talk about it in their correspondence, like an elephant in the room.

but, ultimately, I think her mother is on her side no matter what. Ancient magic? Dark necromancy? Sure, she'll feel guilty and like she was partially responsible for setting Marcille down such a painful path, but she wouldn't care. that's her daughter!! she would've moved back west and been petitioning for her at the court, buying a house right next to the Canaries barracks and visiting her every day that she wasn't on a mission. And if her husband had opinions on Marcille becoming a "dark arts user," he either gets over it or it's divorce with him. Yes, she might have had her optimism completely humbled by losing Donato like that -- but she's still headstrong and self-assured and she doesn't care what people think of her. It's her way or the highway and she's always going to be in Marcille's corner.

(She also needs a name lol. I went with Juno, just to be cute about "Marcille"s closest real life equivalent being Marcella, which is the female version of Marcellus, which in turn is a diminutive of Marcus, which was derived from Mars. Absolutely in love with Marcille potentially being named after Ares/Mars the fucking god of war btw)

#asks #she could easily be interpreted as distant or neglectful after Donato's death too #with how little involvement she has in Marcille's life/the fact that Marcille doesn't even mention her when talking about her life prospect #and that's fair! I will argue to hell and back that she was a loving parent when Donato was alive #but there's nothing that suggests she remained a loving parent afterwards #I just think that like... parental relationships are so complicated in dungeon meshi #you cannot deny that the toudens' mother loved them dearly but that she failed them both miserably as a parent #and i think it'd be more compelling if Marcille's mother was a little like that too #not a totally and easily dismissable deadbeat #but someone who truly loves her daughter but was only human herself and couldn't be what Marcille needed at a crucial moment #and regrets it deeply #and that the distance between them is mutually self-imposed by complicated feelings of guilt and fear #and a little resentment from Marcille's side that she hasn't really properly processed #I don't know if I'll ever get around to writing it but i had this idea where Marcille does finally spill the beans to her mom and she just #immediately arrives in Melini #and its awkward for a bit but they do finally have a heart to heart and air it all out #and marcille starts freaking out that her marriage is rocky rn bc her new husband wants her to distance herself from marcille #on account of the crimes and all #marcille's like no you can't blow up your marriage for me and her mother just shuts that shit down #'you didn't choose to be born. i was the one who made that choice for you'#'i brought you into this world and i'll be damned if i don't take responsibility for that the entire way'#'you are entitled to *nothing less* than my unconditional love.'#and obviously that's not a sentiment that's exactly healthy as a universal statement about parenthood #but i think its what her mother would believe and what marcille needs to hear #and dungeon meshi does such a fantastic job at just... letting imperfect things just *be* without having to justify it immediately #it expects the audience to do their own critical thinking #and know that its not trying to make sweeping universal statements in every instance #marcilleposting #marcille donato #junoposting

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lucyvaleheart · 3 months

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i need to be chained down

i need to struggle against my bonds, need to cry need to scream, need to feel so utterly helpless and vulnerable

i need it to hurt. I need my ass to be smacked so red that it it brings real tears to my eyes before we're even halfway through. i need the wood of the paddle to SNAP and splinter as it breaks against my body.

i need to be told the most disgusting, cruel, awful things about myself; i need to be degraded and made to feel so small and pathetic and worthless and stupid and i need to be crying on the floor, utterly limp in my bonds from it.

i want to be marked. i want to feel teeth, i want to feel claws, i want my skin to break from the force of them i want to feel the blade against me i want to feel the fear in my whole being as it goes further and further and further

i need to be owned, to be claimed, to be branded with a hot iron, to be caged up and collared. need that collar to shock me, need someone to own me, need someone to hold my remote and press the button until i can't breathe until im choking with sobs and crying on the floor for a second time

when i say i need to be broken

i need to be broken.

#original #.......i'm in a mood #a very very very desperate mood #a very masochist mood #i just. god i want to be utterly eviscerated right now #want to just be taken advantage of so badly #want to hurt.#want to REALLY hurt.#want to really realy really really hurt.#sigh #one day ill find someone willing to do this kinda shit to me #in the meantime ill just keep working on communication and stuff so that when i inevitavbly find them scared to indulge themselves #i can reassure them and make them feel safe and loved before and after #aftercare after this kind of a scene would be life-savingly vital for both sides #so much cuddling and loving and reassurance and care #fucking breaks my heart when i hear a domme doesn't get that especially a sadist #anyway #cmere and ill show you how to break me. if this appeals to you say hi. please. i promise i will be so wonderful for you. i promise #i will help and i will lvoe and care for you even after you break me like this

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alchemiclee · 7 months

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I hate that whenever there's a gay ship, people immediately het-ify it. people are so obsessed with making one the "man" and one the "woman" when that's completely unnecessary, because they are both the man or the woman. It's extremely annoying. these people will completely mischaracterize a character to fit into their stupid little het roles they force on them.

for example, you don't need to make one man the "wife" and feminized him to the extreme and fit him in a traditional "woman" role so the other man can be the big strong masculine manly man. they can both be masculine or both be feminine or both be both at the same time! they do NOT need to be gendered opposites to fit het roles. crazy, I know! it's like no one considers it a possibility! or sees how good it can be to have them be equals without gendered nonsense.

when there's a gay relationship, you have the perfect opportunity for the couple to stand on equal ground. they get to be equals who are just as strong and just as soft as each other. there's no faulty power dynamics where one is above the other (because let's face it, society unfortunately deems masculinity > femininity). one doesn't need to protect the other. they can protect themsleves, fight aide by side as equals. one doesn't do all the housework. they share that duty equally. one isn't weak and pretty, while they other strong and manly. they both are strong and pretty, or masculine and weak at the same time.

equal relationships are amazing and need to be explored more and appreciated. there can be more understanding and working together. i'm bad at explaining what I mean, but I prefer these equal relationships over forcing them into opposite roles to mirror het relationships, which are usually extremely unbalanced and unequal. especially because these not het relationships! so why must they look like one? they can and should look different! so why does literally every shipper and writer out there make them so het coded?

I don't understand why people do this. do they actually believe all romantic relationships must mimic het ones to exist and thrive and purposely force that on them? or have they genuinely just not fathamed that they can be different and dont need to follow the expected het standards?

I wonder, it feels like no one actually knows how non-het relationships are meant to be and how they could work, since het ones are always forced down our throats since birth. it becomes The Standard that everyone thinks they must follow. maybe it's all people know since they don't see any other possibilities. their preferred dynamics for their ships are what we are taught and nothing different, because they don't know it can be different. i also think people might be obsessed with that whole "opposites attract" trope. but that opposite doesn't have to be the traditional het-fueld feminine vs masculine or wife vs husband characteristics. it can be other personality things like one is loud and one is quiet, one is dumb and one is overly smart, one is rich and one poor, etc. it doesn't have to be masculine vs feminine!

BREAK OUT OF THE HET NORMS!!!!! TEAR DOWN HETERONORMATIVITY!!!!!!!!! FREE THE GAYS

(disclaimer, not saying masculine vs feminine ships are all bad/shouldn't be done ever. but it doesn't need to be 100% of the time either 😅 can't think of one ship people dont do this with lol)

#cant even say its only het shippers because lgbt shippers do it too #i enjoy the ships i see more as equals. like cynonari and xingyue for example #first ones that came to mine lol #everyone feminizes the shit out of nari calling him cynos wide constantly but they're both strong leader types with a soft side #wife*#THEYRE SO EQUAL???? AND THAT MAKES THEIR RELATIONSHIP SO STRONG????#then xingyue is funny because ive seen people frame BOTH yingxing and dan feng as the “wife” at different times. proof theyre equals!#maybe not proof lmao but you cant say the arrogant craftsman and proud dragon arent equals who get along super well #they arent het opposites at all imo. not even close #i just really enjoy balanced equals over unbalanced opposites. because the feminine is always seen as lesser and weaker than the masculine #and that always bothers me a lot lmao #im probably the minority here. im giving benefit of the doubt that people just never thought about it and do what theyre taught #but if everyone actually orefers this and its on purpose.......please reconsider 🤣#prefers*#lee text #lee rambles #gay #lgbtq #gay ships #one relationship i felt was presented as equals (from best of my memory) was korrasami #they balance each other out and i see them as equals. one doesn't lead over the other. they're both leaders in their own ways. and carers #one reason i dont date is because most people are ovsessed with this unbalance opposite gender roles thing and i cant stand it lmao #obsessed* am tired of tag typos i miss until after i hit enter hfhfhdhdjdjsjs #this was long and rambly but i suddenly had many feelings and needed to say them #*

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fightaers · 4 months

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i just read a TERRIBLE sakura slander i have to actually sit down oh my god

#did we....... read the same manga???????#the way people said s.akura mistreat nrt and ino and thats smth they have in common #WHAT #maybe thats smth that was perpetuated further with anime additions but ?????#as solely manga reader i cannot fucking remember one time sakura was ever purposely cruel #or even being petty about her feelings #maybe when she was 12 years old before shit went down??????? WHICH??? UMMMM????#HELLO?????? SHE WAS A CHILD ????????#everything ABOUT what she's doing after shes 12 and ssk defected and how shes responding was a DIRECT response to the circumstances #she was enduring #i cant remember ONE time she was EVER mean to any of her comrades #she was always so overly caring. so fucking READY to help them #my best example was how she was with sai. like my girl PUNCHED him when he badmouthed ssk #and still she was also the FIRST to genuinely ask sai abt his questions and hobby etc #shes both loyal AND curious / open enough to new friendships and bonds #i try not to divulge so much into the fanon lens of sakura #but if u think she's just this one-dimensional petty and jealous bitch to satisfy ur own narration of an event ...... IJBOL #take care of urself fr cause idk how it is at ur side but where i am? i'm fine and replenished #and sakura is still much more than the girl who couldn't succeed her teammates.#gen: out of character.

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ghostb0o · 3 months

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I've been seeing people say people here are being more optimistic about the state of the qsmp

Bitch wh e re

On a more serious note I have so much empathy for quackity rn. Irl I recently just had had a community event I was helping plan ("helping", it was mostly me :///) fall through and it fuckin SUCKED. Similarly enough it was due to me naively trusting people to do their jobs without 247 oversight. Thankfully it was just group project shenanigans and not like financial embezzlement or whatever the hell is happening over there. I felt and feel like a shit failure for my thing and I don't even have masses of people on Twitter to deal with so I respect the guy a lot for not imploding and booking a trip to Niagara

#I may just be severely mentally ill #but for real I need to tune out qsmp stuff for the time being cause this situation is so upsetting and discouraging to see #such a cool project falling apart so soon after a project I was involved in had #Both of which i was really passionate about #its disheartening too because my confidence in myself and my ability to get shit done has tanked #and I get to see this and be like “this is what could happen if you ever shoot for something bigger. dont do it :)”#Again I may just be severely mentally ill #and grasping onto whatever can make me feel worse about my abilities #I dont wanna say I feel horrible for the guy because of the business side of things that I dont understand but I do #the dissapointment is palpable #It might ruin some friendships too ayy just like my thing ayyy #cw dark humor #cw negativity #qsmp neg #<- for blocklists. I really hope that tag doesn't attract weird people

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pigidin · 2 months

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onesided radiostatic this, radiosilence that, hear me out.

onesided (queer)platonic radiohusk from husk's side in overlord!era.

#and then al betraying their somewhat-friendship by literally owning his soul #you wanted me? well lucky you now you stuck with me forever #hear me out once more #it turning into onesided platonic attraction from AL's side after he started owning Husk #coz he feels secure enough to let the mere interest in another flow into the desire for sth more #husk losing his absolute shit in betrayal coz he trusted al in the friendship they formed #but now seeing that this whole show was just to get him into the contract in a more sneaky/manipulative way #mb him trying to connect with al once more but dropping attempts as al only sees him as a pet #husk understanding that w the stupid power dynamic they can never form anything normal and healthy #yet still holding some sort of twisted care for al even after he owns his soul j for the sake of old times #it's just much less genuine this time #oof the angst ouch the pain and two people who can't use their mouth to talk feelings out coz they both suck in it immensely #platonic radiohusk #i mean technically it can be romantic as well if u wish but j my thought

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arolesbianism · 2 months

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Thinks oh so hard abt the spiraling upwards clan founders, especially the birchclan founders. Silly lil kitties who's pasts are drenched in blood with the primary regret of not drawing it sooner

#rat rambles #oc posting #warriors posting #spiraling upwards #long story short they had a shitty awful terrible leader who sucked absolutely ass and they tore him to shreds #I mean that literally they pinned him onto the mountain side and slashed and mauled the shit out of him so hard that his lives evaporated #and several of the cats involved in that scene are sill alive and major parts of the story and I love them #oh also the cat that pinned him through a stab through the throat was his own daughter btw everyone hated his ass so much #and for good reason get his ass #alas in the main story I dont rly get to go too deep into how he harmed everyone involved mostly just three main ones #aka bristlestar because shes murtlepaw's ghost mom dawncrackle because hes also haunting murtle and gullspot because shes bristle's kit #so basically all the flashbacks we get involve those three in some form or another #honeystar was also there and involved but Im not currently planning on having her rly talk abt that #most of her more modern angst is the fact that she was forced into leadership against her will #and shes been alive long enough that shes been leading birchclan far longer than she ever lived in her old clan #but she did go through a lot of shit before birchclan was founded and it definitely shaped her a lot #she used to be a very determined and high spirited lil kitty cat who tried to be optimistic #but her family began to slowly be picked off one by one by both the old leader and the one whod later get evicerated #some of the older cats around her hoped it make her back down from her revelutionary ideas but she noticed that and it backfired on them #instead of being worn down to submission she became absolutely Furious and began to lash out more and become more demanding #it got to the point that she really only had two friends in the entire clan and one of them was her aunt whod later also die after coming #out abt having witnessed the leader killing his own kits #that was the final fucking straw for her and she was fully on board when bristle and dawn started looking for cats to join their rebellion #she did get rly frustrated with them as they waited patiently for the right moment but her remaining bestie kept her from going apeshit #so once the big fight finally broke out she was more than eager to join the hoard of cats chasing the bastard upwards #now unlike some of the other cats involved this legitimately actually made her feel a lot better for a while #for the first time in ages she finally felt like she could be optimistic abt smth again and was excited abt the idea of leaving this place #she had lost so much in this damn place since she was an apprentice and just wanted to finally be able to rest easy #but once they got to their new territory and set up camp things went south real fast as a flood fucked everything up #and after losing the only cat she had left in her life and losing her tail and being made deputy on top of that she deteriorated quickly

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grimmjowjaegerjaquez · 5 months

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if i was someone with any kind of consistency i couldve been known for ach'm. my stupid sexy frog man. (who is also a cyborg)

#he literally had like no backstory when i made him #but i was also 12/13 when i made him #imagine the world where i didnt have adhd and couldve drawn him like. every year. consistently.#imagine the world where i didnt have adhd and i was actually able to properly develop him as a character #you know what fuck it maybe i should just make the story about him and his brother. what the fuck.#he could still join a scary fight club circus. i feel like thats still crucial. he could think he dies in it and wake up like WAH #(the secret lore of both ach'm AND me is that i originally made ach'm to participate in an OCT on dA)#(it was called tapestry of horror)#(and the funniest fucking thing ever happened:#another contestant took a shine to ach'm and thought his crush on her character was funny #and used him as a side character in her entries.#13 year old me was super fucking stoked about this #BUT WHAT ENDED UP HAPPENING WAS: even though she credited him to me in every single entry #people still didnt know that he was NOT her character??#funniest shit ever. i dont blame her for that at all and we were friends for a time after the oct was over #tbf she gave him way more personality and nuance than i ever did (i mean i was 13 i didnt know how to do anything yet)#OCTs kinda. bring back some unpleasantness but the idea of them is still really fun to me. wistful days...

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wovenstarlight · 2 years

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hey remember what i said about thinking of a new and interesting way to ruin yoojin's life. au of the secret haunting au. i love ghosts i love talking about ghosts but i especially love when they're real

Han Yoohyun dies.

And then Han Yoohyun wakes up.

To screaming, to strangers' hands stretching out, to his brother with tears staining his cheeks and a glowing red stone in his palm--

Han Yoohyun wakes up, and he's in one of Haeyeon's reception rooms, his brother in front of him. "Hyung-?" he starts, already reaching out, eyes scanning him--no blood, no scars, no awkward stance to keep the weight off his bad leg--

There's a hand on his shoulder. He whips around, slapping the hand off--

It's Song Taewon.

Song Taewon is dead.

"You're dead too," Chief Song says, like he knows what Yoohyun's thinking. His voice is steady and firm, like he's giving a mission briefing. Not looking for a fight. Yoohyun grits his teeth and doesn't let himself relax. "We're ghosts, or something like it. It's a side effect of your brother's skills, as far as we can tell."

(The dragon's claws, ripping through him like scissors through paper. He can't remember the last time he felt that sort of pain, but he can remember thinking worth it.)

Yoohyun turns and stares at his brother. He looks--healthy, thank god, but he also looks... strangely young. "What's..." He frowns, glancing around. He knows this room. Didn't they replace these sofas? "How are we here?"

"A wishing item." Chief Song steps up beside him; out of the corner of his eye, he can see him studying hyung with a frown on his face. "He asked to go five years back in time with his memories."

A do-over? Hope swells inside Yoohyun, only to die just as fast, because-- "Hyung," he says again, loudly. Too loud.

His brother looks straight through him, a hollowness to his eyes.

"He can't hear you," a new voice whispers. Yoohyun glances over sharply to find the room crowded by strangers, except... He knows these faces. Aren't these hyung's old teammates? (A side effect of your brother's skills.) The one who must have spoken is near the front, staring at him. Her name slips his mind, but the brown hair and that sweater are distinct. She was among the earliest people hyung worked with, and if he's remembering the report right, she died in that very outfit.

Whatever her name is, she gives him a cautious glance before taking a slow step closer, peering at Yoojin as her mouth thins into a line. "He can't see you, either," she continues. "And you won't be able to touch him. Oppa's got no idea we're here."

Yoohyun thought so. He's clenching his teeth so tight his jaw aches, and he forces himself to relax, or at least enough to stop the hurting. "How long have you been watching?"

"Since we died," one of the others pipes up. Yoohyun vaguely recognizes him, too. (Hyung's friend, hyung's coworker, hyung's friend, hyung's friend, hyung's teammate, on and on... And Chief Song? whispers a tiny voice at the back of his mind.) The man shrugs. "Like Chief Song said. We're ghosts, right?"

Ghosts, or something like it. Yoohyun swallows. "And you've never been able to--"

That's when someone comes storming through the door, hyung's teammates hastily pulling out of his way. "Hyung," the intruder snaps, and Yoohyun bristles as he looks over (his hyung not yours not yours-!).

It's--him. It's Han Yoohyun.

"Dungeon brokers are--"

"Sorry," hyung says, and Yoohyun feels like shaking apart at the look in his brother's eyes when he gazes at the other-him. "I won't do it again."

Other-Yoohyun's brows furrow. Yoohyun realizes that on his face, surprise looks a lot like frustration. "If you've maybe gotten yourself in trouble-"

He keeps talking, but Yoohyun doesn't want to listen. Five years ago, Chief Song said. He knows the way he was talking to his brother five years ago.

He remembers exactly why he spoke to him that way, because it's the same reason he spoke to him that way just an hour or so ago. That doesn't stop him from wanting to put a fist through other-him's face when he sees the way hyung just takes it, the sheer lack of fury, of even just indignation. I was being immature, he's saying with a laugh, like it wasn't an hour ago that he threw his weapons aside and faced down a dragon and told Yoohyun I'll save you the trouble of holding a funeral--

He's not sure what sort of expression he's making, but by the way Song Taewon hisses "Han Yoohyun," and the other ghosts draw back, it must not be a very nice one.

Well. It's not like he cares about that sort of thing.

The tangled surge of emotions has his ears ringing, and so it's hard to hear what exactly other-Yoohyun says to their hyung before his brother suddenly steps forward and pulls him into a hug. Yoohyun steps forward, too, unable to stop himself. "Hyung," he whispers, strangled, and he isn't calm enough to hear properly again but he can see his brother's lips shape the words my brother, shape his name.

The next words cut clear through the ringing.

I love you.

There's arms wrapping around Yoohyun, and he shoves them away instinctively, pulling back with a snarl--

Hyung stares back, eyes wide with surprise and--a flicker of hurt that disappears a second later, replaced by blankness, and Yoohyun gasps, reaches out, and when he clutches at his brother's shoulders, his hands don't go through.

His hands don't go through.

(And you won't be able to touch him.)

"…Yoohyun-ah?" hyung asks, tentatively raising a hand before hesitating and going to drop it. Yoohyun instinctively grabs for it before he can lower it completely, wrapping his fingers around his brother's, and hold on, hold on, where's the stiffness in his fingers and the tightness of the skin at his wrist from old injuries and scars--?

Yoohyun slaps his other hand against his own face. Cheeks softer and rounder than he remembers, the line of his jaw not nearly harsh enough. Cold air against his forearms as he fumbles his way through the check; his forearms are bare--

His forearms are bare. He's in a T-shirt. The blood-soaked turtleneck, the rippling coat, they're- they're gone.

Hyung's still here.

"Hyung," he breathes, and yanks his brother back into another hug, tighter than before. Hyung lets out a muffled squawk, but he falls into the hold without a fight, clutching back at Yoohyun just as hard. Yoohyun buries his face in his brother's neck. "Hyung."

"Yoohyun-ah," hyung says, audibly bewildered. He reaches up and combs a hand through Yoohyun's hair. "What's- What happened? What's wrong?"

What's wrong? What's wrong? "You almost died," Yoohyun hisses. "You almost died, you would've died if I hadn't- You would've- You were going to--"

His voice rises as he keeps talking, and Yoohyun's fingers curl into his brother's shirt as he all but shouts- "Don't ever do that again!"

His voice cracks on the last word, and the next breath that escapes him comes out halfway to a sob, and his brother's hand has frozen in his hair, so Yoohyun raises his head to look at him--

Yoojin is staring back at him in undisguised horror. "What?" And then, a second later, eyes widening impossibly further: "You remember?"

#star.txt #you attempt to DIE? you attempt to give your life for me? oh!! oh!!!! confinement for hyung!! confinement for hyung for One Thousand Ye #yeah anyway after the shitstorm that is the resulting freakout yoohyun's like hey wait where'd chief song and the others go.#and yoojins like THE WHO? YOU'RE SEEING THE HATMAN NOW? and yoohyun's like no just your old teammates. they were hanging out.#they said you used a skill on them?? and yoojins like . now hold on a second. what.#please feel free to imagine the other side of this. where the ghosts are like oh jesus christ hyh's here with us n[hyh gets keyworded]#[ghost hyh disappears] HEY WHAT WHAT THE FUCK WHERE DID HE [alive hyh starts saying shit only ghost hyh can know] HEY WHAT THE F U C K #tl;dr. what if ghost au but one of hyj's old targets getting keyworded meant the ghost got merged into their living self.#my sranks #my sranks spoilers #<- presence of stw as always #han yoojin #han yoohyun #song taewon #choi yumi #i neither know nor care if this is ooc i wrote it exclusively as a warm up exercise for cached au prompt response #which is so. both the scene itself and having to Write it are making me weep and wail #why is stw like that. why is HYJ like that.

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