#a very very very desperate mood

[lucyvaleheart]

i need to be chained down

i need to struggle against my bonds, need to cry need to scream, need to feel so utterly helpless and vulnerable

i need it to hurt. I need my ass to be smacked so red that it it brings real tears to my eyes before we're even halfway through. i need the wood of the paddle to SNAP and splinter as it breaks against my body.

i need to be told the most disgusting, cruel, awful things about myself; i need to be degraded and made to feel so small and pathetic and worthless and stupid and i need to be crying on the floor, utterly limp in my bonds from it.

i want to be marked. i want to feel teeth, i want to feel claws, i want my skin to break from the force of them i want to feel the blade against me i want to feel the fear in my whole being as it goes further and further and further

i need to be owned, to be claimed, to be branded with a hot iron, to be caged up and collared. need that collar to shock me, need someone to own me, need someone to hold my remote and press the button until i can't breathe until im choking with sobs and crying on the floor for a second time

when i say i need to be broken

i need to be broken.

#original #.......i'm in a mood #a very very very desperate mood #a very masochist mood #i just. god i want to be utterly eviscerated right now #want to just be taken advantage of so badly #want to hurt. #want to REALLY hurt. #want to really realy really really hurt. #sigh #one day ill find someone willing to do this kinda shit to me #in the meantime ill just keep working on communication and stuff so that when i inevitavbly find them scared to indulge themselves #i can reassure them and make them feel safe and loved before and after #aftercare after this kind of a scene would be life-savingly vital for both sides #so much cuddling and loving and reassurance and care #fucking breaks my heart when i hear a domme doesn't get that especially a sadist #anyway #cmere and ill show you how to break me. if this appeals to you say hi. please. i promise i will be so wonderful for you. i promise #i will help and i will lvoe and care for you even after you break me like this

[xsunburstx]

note to self… never look at tumblr when at work unless you want to be frustrated and wet

#if only you guys could see my liked posts #😵‍💫😵‍💫 #i’m literally torturing myself #in a very needy/desperate mood #why did i do this to myself #send help #oops.. #me #mine #<3

[llitchilitchi]

#hi i just came home #i wont be answering asks or responding to shit I have a headache and desperately need a nap I am so very tired #but this is certainly The Mood #ask me what happened (dont) #but this is the most fitting meme ever made in human history for tonigh #dont expect interactions until like. tomorrow afternoon i need Sleep

[ratstuckinamarble]

there are many ways to boop~

Oh so many >:)

#I've got the high ground ehehe #aaaa this was such a delightful thing to see #your drawing is so cute T-T #the boop stick so my rat can reach is everything hdjshdhh #that's amazing #the way they're both sitting there reminds me of guinea pigs #the shapes are similar here XD I love that so much #you've given my rat such an elegant snoot~ #the wings look so graaand #so very shaped #and your wolf's paws are just so adorable #I can't it's the cutest thing I've seen all day #just -boop-boop-boop-boop- I can imagine that going on and on hehe #I'm in such a good mood #thank you Dauntless ^-^ #rätposting #ask by: #a-dauntless-daffodil #art by dauntless #rät's art shenanigans #BOOP └⁠(⁠ ⁠＾⁠ω⁠＾⁠)⁠」 #also I was desperately searching for my pens as I was drawing this and then. they were right next to me djshsj #if something isn't in its usual spot I just think it's gone 💀

[inaris-mage-of-storms]

apparently if I don't play Minecraft for a week my brain tries to make up for it by uh. dreaming about being my minecraft sona in a scenario so cozy I'm still thinking about it two hours after waking up?

#i either desperately need to play minecraft or desperately need affection lmao #oh to actually be a merling resting my head on my arms on the shore #listening to the object of my affections talk about whatever comes to mind while they write or sketch #alas i am not #but it has put me in a very soft mood and i will probably wind up writing some fh fluff later as a result #file: storm has thoughts

[viulus]

Brb going insane over the implications of Harry putting the ones he cares about on such a high pedestal that he basically deifies them in his head. From comparing his ex to Dolores Dei (who has literal churches dedicated to her and is basically this world's version of Jesus) to Kim having a halo behind his head from Harry's POV...

#vu's posts #disco elysium #hdbposting #i've been going especially insane over this fictional man over the last several days... he is So unwell <3333 #i recently had someone suggest to me that he may have bpd and... yeah #from his sudden mood swings to the way he clings so desperately to the ppl he loves... and puts them on a pedestal... etc etc #i will admit that i'm not the most knowledgeable about bpd... BUT #from what i do know about it it literally explains everything so well about him #anyways this man is very unwell and makes me insane. and i love him

[friendofthecrows]

My writing style is unfortunately described as "ex-pretentious 'intellectual' kid who clearly joined Tumblr during the peak of superwholock and never left" but thankfully, no one recognizes that except people who were also at the devil's sacrament.

#hal rambles #writing #just brain to keyboard today #yeah i am procrastinating the forensic biology thing #AND I WANT ATTENTION /lh #not making the kind of posts i would if i were really desperate for attention lmao #sometimes i can be *a little* toxic. as a treat. /j #please don't take me too seriously i am having my first low-pain day in MONTHS #and the extra energy is translating directly into mania #i have been very adjusted to being exhausted in pain and sleep deprived for a while #which feels a little like the mood and energy equivalent of being buried alive #so i'm kind of mentally frolicking in a sunlit field rn

[simonstamenovic]

stop mindlessly scrolling there are games to be played !

#bloodletting #i hate this brains lack of executive function. why is starting things so very difficult #that being said i still do not know what to play... splatoon is less fun alone + i dont need adolin getting weird #but we need to get the catalogue... #maybe hades or morta but am somewhat in the mood for more story and those are mostly between runs in those games #but oh morta i would need to restart likely ? unsure. but the family #theres vesperia and if i really want to put in time theres seeing geralt but its such a feat im unsure #i desperately need to see him but almost too much

[orcelito]

Today was not a good day.

#speculation nation #negative/ #i feel so wrung out and humiliated. #and the hour long almost panic attack did not help #the kind of mood where it very much couldve developed into a panic attack #had i not been desperately clinging to my one lifeline of 'if i just do this thing then itll be okay' #exhausted. unsteady. hungry. #im going to the woods. i dont care that it's cold and rainy and growing dark. #i need to decompress. desperately. #im really not doing well rn.

[skhardwarevers1]

euuhhhh crying for no reason

#Like I said I’m in one of those moods(tm) #Not anything bad I’m just. All over the llace #Plasv wbatsever #I desperately need to eat something sweet omffggjddjdd #But it’s like almost nine and I can’t crawl out of my room for a snack this is a dark and terrible day #I hate being afab im literally going to lay down and die #S.K rants about his very all over the place feelings #Not crying anymore yay ;P #I think I was cuz I talked with people casually for like two minutes and hated it LMAKSOSS #S.K thinks

[dilfsuzanneyk]

okay i'm about to ramble about the song Right Where It Belongs. the beginning of the song feels so,,,, empty. like you're definitely missing something that you think would make everything better. the music just feels so lacking something. but towards the end of the song it starts to feel so full and YET it still feels like something's missing. it's that emotion of what you thought would help you not doing that at all.

the lyrics kind of reflect this as well (or at least, i interpret it to). the idea of having this idea in your head that you have this thing, you need this thing, to kinda fill your life and give you this kind of fulfilment maybe. the idea of making a choice between staying in this deluded idea that yes, your beliefs are real. you DO need all this to fill yourself up you just need to find it. or realising that this isn't what you need and that this isn't going to help you at all. you're still empty. you're still missing something. you're not really happy and this isn't really what you want.

the music helps the vibe and emotions SO well too. it starts out soft, softer than the other songs so far. there's that effect on trent's voice that makes him feel so far away. so quiet and small and hopeless. there's also that significant lack of a bass in the back, lack of percussion too which is rare to be missing from an nin song. all you have is this high pitched, hollow sounding piano with the synths to accompany it (but even the synths feel bare). there's something missing from the music. it's emptier than usual. it feels almost incomplete. and then the instrumentals slowly and gradually get slightly louder. trying to fill in that space missing from the lack bass and drums but it doesn't work. and THEN the bass is added. a simple plucking of notes. it's not soft either, it's definitely there. but the music still feels bare.

then the effect on trent's voice is turned off. everything is louder. the addition of cheering in the back too. but it STILL feels so empty. it's just gradually attempting to fill that silence and emptiness with more noise but it doesn't do that. it doesn't work. it's still empty. it's still missing something.

the music sets up the emotion so well and it blends so well with the lyrics that it's just so. wow. you're left feeling that exact same way as you listen to the song.

tl;dr i love this song so much and the lyrics and music work so well together please give it a listen!!

#also i think the fact that trent is singing much gentler in this one adds to that #like i there's obviously a different mood set when he's in that desperate screaling kind of singing vs when he's kinda crooning maybe #but yk it's VERY obvious how the way he sings sets the mood in this song i think. #but then again i'm just a teenager and i don't really know anything and #i wrote this in a flurry of emotions #so all of this could be absolute bullshit and not what was intended by the song #but it sure as hell made me feel this way' #vex rambles #nin again #long post #<- in case

[hawkeyefrommash]

i applied to a bunch of jobs in toronto and i have a call in an hour with one and like . it's unlikely it'll go past this phone call for a lot of reasons but i'm like... i dont wanna move to toronto now is the thing...............

#like do i just cancel???????????? #i also dont actually want This Job i just applied in a very desperate mood

[andromeda3116]

me to myself, currently: other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are other people aren't obsessing over your social mistakes like you are

also me: obviously they have all begun to hate me

#hey remember that post from this morning about ocd and obsessive thinking? #i have been struggling lately and sinking into my own head and that makes me very. weird. #and not like. fun quirky weird. #it's off-putting weird. obnoxious as i overcompensate for my anxiety that's screaming at me to hide #i used to do that as a child. i would just hide when i felt like nobody wanted me around. #i would think to myself '' i know when i'm not wanted'' bc i see the awkwardness in the fake laughs and feel the just-too-long silences #the shared glances after i speak #and i see the ranks closing and shutting me out #and it is very very hard to discern if it's real or in my head #between ''i'm just paying attention to the subtle tells'' and ''you can't read minds and you do filter everything through your own mood'' #so it's hard to tell if they really think i'm obnoxious or if i've already decided that they do and so i'm seeing what i expect #sometimes it does end up being undeniable when i do end up getting shut out of the chat #but is it just a self-fulfilling prophecy? is it my desperation to not be annoying that makes me annoying? #is it my own distancing from people because i think they hate me that makes them close me out because they think i don't want to be there? #i don't know. i've never known. this spiral has me and it's a whirlpool dragging me into the deeps. #i've spent my whole life so terribly anxious that i was misdiagnosed with asthma as a child because i was always struggling to breathe #it's gotten... better... sort of. i've learned to fight the urge to hide but i'm still left with the fear that pushed me to do it #mental illness #anxiety #depression

[spid3r-trans]

my job makes me so evil i probably won’t be writing tn sorry yall 😔 will try to whip something out in the morning

also if u guys want to see any other spiderverse content i’m thinking about starting something else and alternating between the two. if you’ve got ideas or requests let me know 😌

#fens fables #mood? RANCID #thank u for being so sweet on ur comments on the most recent chapter tho u guys r very sweet #also requests don’t have to be hobie and miles i just love black boy joy #i used to write a lot when i was younger so i’m just trying to get back into it for funsies #sorry if i come off desperate it’s because I AM

[thisfairytalegonebad]

excuse me sir that's my emotional support IT guy

#there's this one IT guy at work... I love him #last week i had a very big very urgent problem and i was alone to deal with it so i very desperately opened a ticket #and he did his absolute best to help me fix it in time #I owe him my life #anyway whenever i open a ticket he'll call me soon after and often solves the problem live on call #always improves my mood talking to him #my work bestie has an emotional support IT guy of her own and she'd be lost without him #shoutout to IT guys

[artificial-condition]

Positive mood ruined by other people’s stupidity

#my thoughts #I should’ve talked to my work friend for advice #I’m ready to move out but I want a house not an apartment #and I don’t want to rent because it feels like a waste of money #but I feel more and more desperate to move out every day #I need independence #and a safe space without stressors #I can’t get away #feeling so desperate #I wanted to save for a house down payment then move out into a house but that will be many years #and I already feel a crushing sense of urgency #not in danger just very negatively impacted mentally and emotionally by mood swings and anger #it’s stupid I have to choose between financial health and emotional/mental health