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chronicbeans · 3 months

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Platonic Alastor x Maladaptive Daydreamer Reader

Hehe not me self-projecting again! Anyways, these are kinda based on my own experiences, but I'm trying to make them more generalized.

TW: Maladaptive daydreaming, escapism, dissociation, mentions of depression and anxiety, brief mentions of compulsive behavior/OCD, invasion of privacy, manipulation, peer pressure, yandere-ish behavior (I believe he defaults to those behaviors, no matter the type of relationship), mention of cannibalism (this is Alastor we're talking about...), Alastor is a shitty toxic friend in this

• He's absolutely fascinated by the way your mind works. Even before he knows what is going on, or begins to get close to you, he can tell you are an interesting person. The way you look so distant, like your mind is checked out and flying to far off places without you, is something he hasn't seen before. He wants to pick and prod at your brain to see what's going on.

• He doesn't want to do so the easy way, though. No. Instead, he wants to drag out this process for as long as possible, and make sure you twist and squirm all the while. He loves to make people uncomfortable, after all! That's his specialty, in his opinion, besides his radio show.

• He'll start off with introductions, of course, which is probably when he first got interested in you. That dreamy look isn't so easy to see from a distance, after all. The second he looked into your eyes while shaking your hand, though, it became obvious. How hadn't he seen it before? If he saw this look when he first entered, he would've talked to you first out of the crew at the Hazbin Hotel. Well, besides Charlie... But, that's just because she owns the place.

•The uncomfortable prodding starts in an instant. One of his first questions after getting your name is not "What made you want to come to the hotel?" or "What can you provide to help the hotel?" It's more like "How did you die?", "What are your major vices?", and "What sin have you committed to be brought to Hell?" He wants to test the waters. See what he can get away with without completely scaring you off. If you run away and avoid him, it'd be harder to learn what he wants, and make you uncomfortable while doing so.

• Regardless of whether or not you answer, you are probably a little put off from him. Not enough to completely avoid him, since you can see how some of those questions might help him help the hotel, but enough to be uncomfortable... Which, in his opinion, is perfect!

• He's great at hiding, so if you start noticing him mentioning things you thought were private, you really shouldn't be surprised. He can, quite literally, hide in the shadows at times. He quickly takes notes of your little habits, including ones you might be embarrassed about.

• He may watch you pacing around your room, mumbling to yourself as if you are playing pretend all alone. Or, maybe, he's hiding over your shoulder while you're writing down some elaborate storyline. Perhaps he's watching you in plain sight, seeing you make a bunch of odd facial expressions at seemingly nothing. He may not know why you do this, but he wants to. He would've suspected some sort of substance use, considering it's Hell. Lots of people do so. However, he's never seen you near anything that would cause such behavior. So, that's off his list, for now.

• So, step 2 of his plan begins! As his good ol' pals Husk and Niffty to try befriending you! Or, at the very least, get information from you that you aren't comfortable telling him. Then, have them report back to him with their findings. Of course, Husk seems agitated by the request, but obliges. Niffty seems more than happy to do as he asks, though. A happy worker is a good worker, so he has more hope in Niffty getting the big story than Husk.

• Surprisingly, though, he's proven wrong. The most Niffty got was your fashion sense, favorite types of stories, and that you are very "quiet". Yes, the fashion and types of stories were new to him... But what he seems important, the reason you act so oddly, isn't there. Husk, however, was able to get a lot more out of you, somehow.

• Husk mentions you talking to him, one night, after he saw you skipping oddly down the hall and pass the bar where he was cleaning the glasses before closing it for the night. You seemed extremely embarrassed to have been seen, mentioning that you thought he was asleep already. He then just, politely asked a few questions...? And got answers? How?

• Alastor immediately demands answers, only for Husk to reply "I don't know how to describe it like they did! Most I understood is that they daydream too much. Seems like it's a constant thing going on. They like to pace and prance while doing so, sometimes, but don't like getting caught."

• Now it begins to make more sense... the writing, the talks about stories with Niffty, the prancing and pacing... and most importantly, that dreamy, distant look you have. He can even see why you'd make odd expressions. You're reacting to your own thoughts... He doesn't understand it. He's never heard of anything like this before, especially during his time as a human, but he can tell one thing for certain: You must be his friend, now. Whether you like it or not.

• You are so different from everyone else he's met, you see, and he loves things that go against the norm. Now, while you may or may not be considered normal or not too different by others, you're different and abnormal to him. You somehow succeed in both being polite, smart, and funny to mess around with, while also barely being able to pay attention to the world around you. He's always thought that those two things were mutually exclusive. How can you learn when you can't stop being in your own head? How can someone be polite and not listen? The funny part, though... He can kind of see that. He finds surprising you be sneaking up behind you and tapping your shoulder funny every now and again. Nevertheless, you are going to be his friend.

• Soon enough, you notice his behavior changing, a bit. Less following you around, less vaguely threatening words, and more... quiet. It's eerie, coming from him. However, you also notice him trying to talk to you about stories and books he's heard and read. Even things he's heard during his human life, such as Creole folktales and other stories he's heard in New Orleans, Louisiana back in the 1920s-1930s. It's a bit like a completely different side to him you never expected to see, and never really wanted to, but you aren't really complaining. It's better than him deciding to terrorize you for fun and him asking invasive questions...

• A little more time passes and he decides to ask about small habits, disguising them as him just now noticing those habits, when he's probably noticed them while spying on you months prior. Nothing too extreme. Mostly just your expressions, how it seems like your attention is somewhere else... Nothing like your pacing, prancing, or acting. He wants to establish that he knows about these tiny little things, and now that you're more comfortable with him, you're much more likely to answer. That way, once he moves onto the bigger, more personal questions, you'll already have been eased into feeling comfortable with it.

• Eventually, you get to the point where you feel comfortable calling him a friend. He's already considered you one since that conversation with Husk, but it's a start. Now, he's gotten the lovely privilege of being able to know more about what's going on in that lovely little brain of yours... well, "little" brain is definitely an understatement. From how you describe your imagination, he'd be led to believe your mind must be as vast as the Library of Alexandria.

• Vast worlds, complicated plotlines, complex characters... you talk of odd tales you've created, all in your brain. Ones you've had in your mind for years, some you came up with on a whim, and others, still, that are still being developed. Stories that have been being created over the span of real life years, ones you started then dropped... All of which are being held in your head, with only a miniscule fraction of it being written onto paper. He's truly impressed, genuinely respecting your odd talent, as he sees it. You've perfected the craft of creativity, while he's perfected the art of talking to an audience. Even better, is that he got to learn whether or not his theory of you taking inspiration from stories you've heard was right. Which explains his sudden mentions of stories he's heard in life.

• Now... if only you'd let him tell some of your stories on his radio show! If you wouldn't like that, then he'd probably ask you to write something for his show. That way, it isn't as personal to you, and you wouldn't even need to be credited if you're embarrassed by it! He could just say a random listener sent it in, and he thought it'd be great to read, to show his appreciation for his adoring fans. The world simply must hear the greatness of your mind, dear, and he is not going to stop annoying politely asking you to write something until you do.

• Another thing he might try is to see if he can figure out why you partake in this little habit of yours. He's never heard of it, though he has asked some sinners and demons if they have. Be it Charlie, Angel Dust, some of the other overlords, or a friend of his we haven't seen or heard of, before. More modern sinners keep mentioning a thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming, describing it as a symptom of other mental health diagnoses... but that's the problem. That fits you, you've mentioned that you know of that and it fits you... but that's also just a symptom. Well, a few argue that it may be its own thing, but it is not an official diagnosis yet. So, for now, he wants to figure out why you do it.

• Is it depression? Anxiety? Do you really want to escape from something, and you're doing so by hopping into that little dream land of yours? Is it some sort of compulsion? You seem to not really be able to control it that well, after all, and others have mentioned links to OCD, as well as other disorders that can cause compulsions. Is it sheer, absolute, chronic boredom? Speak to him, dear! What is it? Do you even know? If not, he'll assume it's the boredom option... for now.

• He's obsessed with you, really. You're his friend, and he's very obsessive over them, in his own way. He is as far away from normal when it comes to showing real affection for others, which wouldn't be bad, if it weren't for the fact that a main part of it is him being absolutely suffocating when he's around. That, and he can be terrifying... He's the Radio Demon, after all! It's just worse for you than his other friends, though, because you are different. Being different is a really important thing for him, really, alongside being polite, smart, and funny. Not required, unlike the last three traits, but it makes you more likely to be his friend. You hit the lottery by achieving being all four, but it must be the worst lottery prize in the world.

• He holds the thought that you should just be friends with him. Now, you don't have to be... but, he'd prefer it. If you really want outside friends, sure! You just can't be friends with his other friends. He claims they'd "taint" you with how violent they can be. Plus, since he's friends with other cannibals, some of which do serve sinner and demon meat to others without telling them, he genuinely does worry about your safety and wellbeing if you met those specific friends of his. For your friends, he wants to meet them. He needs to in order to deem them worthy of being your friend, and to make sure it's not someone he knows and is friends with. You deserve perfection, and who knows perfection better than Alastor, yes? After all, he can see that you're perfect. That is more than enough evidence, dear.

• You're one of the few people who he doesn't mind having your attention not on him. Part of your charm, in his opinion, is your lack of attention. All he asks is that you tell him about a story of yours. What is going on in your head that's so important? Oh, a great war between this and that? A psychological horror? Cities beneath the sea? Tell him about it. He finds it fun! Especially if he can see any possible inspiration from events or other stories. He likes to hear your voice almost as much as he likes to hear his own, which you'll realize is more of a compliment than it might sound like, once you truly get to know him.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor the radio demon #maladaptive daydreaming #alastor x reader #platonic headcanons

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oliversrarebooks · 3 months

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The Rare Bookseller Part 38: Alexander's Sire

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September 1925

TW: Captivity, mind control, mentions of abuse and murder

The fireplace crackled cheerfully as Oliver's anxiety rose. "Your sire is the one who turned you from human to vampire, right, sir?"

"Yes. And in the process, a connection is established from sire to sired. A vampire's sire can communicate telepathically with their spawn, and a sired must carry out their sire's direct commands. In some ways, I'm also a thrall, of sorts."

"And your sire is dangerous, sir?"

"Dangerous isn't even the half of it," said Alexander. "Are you certain you wish to hear it? It will cause you nothing but anxiety over a problem you won't be able to solve."

"I'm quite used to anxiety over problems I can't solve, sir." Oliver knew very well that not knowing what this mysterious sire might do would drive him to insanity with fear regardless.

"I was chosen because of my lineage. My sire believed that I would have the power to be a great vampire lord. Enthrall a whole manor's worth of humans, bend vampire society to my aims, as he enjoys doing -- except I would be firmly under his thumb. A useful general in his insatiable quest for power and perfection."

"You don't seem to be doing that, sir."

"No, indeed. I was born with power, as he hoped, but I resisted his influence more than he expected. I've largely secluded myself and devoted my life to studies, rather than enslaving humans and pursuing my sire's aims. That's why I only keep one thrall, as a general rule, instead of a mansion full."

Oliver felt he was beginning to see the picture. "And your sire is not pleased with that state of affairs, Master?"

"Naturally, he isn't. He uses his connection to torment me with nightmares, intrusive thoughts... commands I don't wish to carry out..."

Something clicked in Oliver's mind, gears turning despite the slowness imposed on him by enthrallment. "You..." He almost didn't want to say it, but he did ask to know the truth. "Were you forced to hurt your thralls, sir?"

Alexander looked haunted, his expression saying everything that needed to be said. "I did warn you against asking questions you would not like the answer to."

"Are you... were you... did he make you kill..." Oliver fought down the urge to flee from the room right then and there. "What are you going to do to me? Are you going to --"

"No," said Alexander firmly.

"How can you know that, sir? If your sire can force you at any time --"

"He won't. Not with you."

"I don't -- " Any semblance of calm had evaporated, as a far more primal instinct was rising in Oliver. "Sir, I don't want to die. Please don't kill me, sir, please --"

"Quiet, Oliver," said Alexander. "Be quiet now."

Oliver's sensible panic began to dissipate against his will, as the command swallowed his mind and he slumped against Alexander. "Please, sir..." he said miserably.

"My sire will not kill you, nor will he make me kill you. I'm certain of that," he said, pulling Oliver close and running his fingers through his hair. "You're too..."

"Too what, sir?"

"...Too perfect. Obedient, docile, and exactly to his tastes. No, he'll certainly keep you alive, that I'm sure of."

As scared as Oliver was of dying, he didn't like the implications in his master's voice. There were many fates worse than death. He thought he'd escaped one at the auction house, but had he actually found himself in a worse trap? "What will he do with me, then, sir?"

His master thought for a long time, so long that Oliver feared he would not answer at all. "You'll be fine, Oliver," he said. "I'm going to make sure of it. I have a plan, I think." He pushed a lock of hair from Oliver's face, looking intently into his eyes. "You're stronger than you believe yourself to be. You may be the thrall that can break the cycle."

"Sir -- Master, I don't understand --"

"But that's putting far too much on you. I'm going to have to find a way to protect you permanently. To protect us both. That's all there is to it. I've been getting closer, but..."

Oliver leaned into his master's cold touch, craving that protection even through his fear. "So is that the reason, then, why you didn't want to take another thrall, sir? Because you were searching for a way to protect them?"

"Yes, that's more or less the reason. I thought I could find a way to defy my master before claiming you, and then we would both have a much happier existence. Unfortunately, leaving you to get bought by Jameson would have been no better for you. His torments are relentless, and your mind would have been destroyed at the outset. At least I can do my best to give you a comfortable life when my sire's attention is turned elsewhere."

Oliver nodded. Those were the only choices, weren't they? Be purchased by Alexander or by Jameson. Even now that he knew more of the danger lurking in his master's home, he still preferred Alexander without question. The prospect of nebulous future torment was nothing compared to the certain promise of memory erasure and illiteracy.

But were those truly the only two choices...?

Something was bubbling in Oliver's chest, something fighting to get free of the nets of control placed on his mind.

He could let me go.

No -- he tried to push the traitorous thought from his mind. He knew how much his master needed him. How could he think...

He's going to hurt me. He might even kill me. And if my master doesn't, his sire will.

Surely he wouldn't actually...

If he were an honest man, if he cared about my wellbeing, he would let me go.

Oliver felt himself tremble from the conflict inside his head, self-preservation forcing his mind out of its fog. That's right, vampires had kidnapped him for money and blood. How had he pushed that so far from his thoughts? Was his master really any different from them? Didn't he admit to keeping Oliver for his own selfish needs?

If he truly cared, he would let Oliver go, or spirit him away so that he would be safe.

But Alexander clearly wasn't planning on doing that. He had to go himself. He had to find a way to escape this vampire and this manor while he was still awake, before the thrall took him whole. Even now, just thinking of such a betrayal was almost impossible.

"Oliver, quiet."

Oliver's hands dropped from his face as artificial tranquility washed over him.

"I need to hear what's going through your mind," said his master. "I promise I won't be angry with you, even if it is terrible. Even if you wanted to kill me."

"No -- no, sir, I wouldn't -- "

"Even so."

His master gently stroked his temples, humming something under his breath. Oliver felt himself sinking into a daze. "No, please. Please don't do this." The song filled his mind, coaxing it back into a trance, tunneling his focus onto what Alexander wanted. The truth...

"If I'm in danger here, sir," he said, the words being drawn out of him as if by a string, "why don't you let me go?"

Alexander drew back, and Oliver felt both the sharp pang of his sudden absence and the words he'd just said. "I'm sorry, sir! I'm so sorry I thought that -- I'm not going to try to escape, sir, I promise -- "

His master let out a loud, mirthless laugh. "Let you go. Yes. Yes, indeed. Yes, I should do that, shouldn't I? Just let you go. It's all so simple."

Oliver looked at him with pleading eyes. "...You would...?" he said.

"My sire already knows that I've bought a new and most delectable thrall, thanks to the public display of it I had to make at the auction house. Do you think he would simply let you go?" said Alexander, his voice chilling. "Or do you think he'd hunt us down and make sport of us both?"

"He would do that, sir?"

"He'd do that and worse. At least here in my mansion I can afford you all the protection I can muster, and work towards us both being free of him," said Alexander.

Oliver slowly nodded, his conviction fading. Yes, here in his master's mansion, that's where he could be safe.

His master began softly stroking his hair once more, allowing Oliver to rest against his chest. "I've troubled you too much with this conversation. You need to relax. You are safe here."

"But --" Oliver's mind struggled against the warm undertow of Alexander's soothing voice.

"You need to relax," said Alexander again, his voice deep and low. "Relax, and allow me to take care of you. You will trust me. I will not harm you of my own free will."

All of the conditioning was tugging at Oliver's mind. He wanted to trust Alexander so much. He wanted to sink back under the waves of enthrallment. He wanted it all to be so simple -- that he could have his master and his books and his little comforts, and feed his master when called upon, and not have to concern himself with threats.

But he couldn't help but imagine Alexander's face twisting, the gentle vampire becoming the terrifying monster he'd feared, and shuddered.

"Relax. Be calm. Your worries will not help you. This problem is for me to solve." Alexander's voice was like a sweet lullaby. "Let your anxiety go, feel it fade, fall back into the warm ocean of obedience and bliss. Be quiet, Oliver."

He was right. Worrying about it would not help. And he was safe here, at least for now, here in the warm library with the smell of old books and the crackling fire. He let himself relax, let the nightmare visions fade from his mind. "Yes, master," he said, tension leaving his muscles.

His master began to hum, a tune that further drained Oliver of his tension, a song to ease his fear and help him relax. There was only the briefest of struggles in Oliver's mind before he welcomed it in.

He was safe, wasn't he? He felt so safe, here in the library by the fire. His master wouldn't harm him. His master would protect him.

"Good, Oliver," said Alexander, and the praise made Oliver feel pleasantly fuzzy. "And I want you to know -- I will not be setting you free. I will never be setting you free."

Sinking deeply into Alexander's power, his sudden, desperate need to escape from just a few minutes ago now felt so distant. "You won't, sir?"

"Your blood and your company are both too appealing to ever let you go. I'd be a fool to allow my sire to ruin you, and I've had enough regrets in my long life without adding that one to it." Alexander stroked Oliver's hair so gently.

"But... but your sire..." The last scraps of his sensible fear were slipping from his grasp, his mind fogging. "What if..."

"You're perfect, Oliver, don't you see? The perfect thrall in every way. I didn't think I would ever have you, but now that I do... I need you. You felt my need, didn't you?"

Oliver remembered it oh so clearly, the moment when their thoughts had mingled and he felt the strength flowing back into his master. He'd felt so wanted, so needed, so helpful and useful. He'd do just about anything to feel that again. "Yes, sir, I do." His master stroked his cheek tenderly, and Oliver leaned into the cold touch, letting his eyes fall shut.

"That's why I'm going to protect you the best I can. I swear on my grave I will. I won't fail this time."

It shouldn't be comforting. There should be nothing comforting about one vampire vowing to shield you from another, in order to protect the blood he craved. But Oliver wanted to believe, and his master's power made it easy.

It felt so natural to lean in closer to Alexander, so right when he fell softly into his master's lap, so comfortable as his master ran his hands through his hair and began to hum. There was something in the song making his eyes droop and his thoughts stop, but he couldn't mind being lulled asleep like this. Everything felt so cloudy...

"I think, perhaps, we could use something to lift the gloom," said Alexander. "Would you join me in the music room, allow me to play for you?"

Oliver's eyes opened, turning to look at his master. "That sounds lovely, sir."

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Next week: Fitz's life changes forever.

@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @xx-adam-xx @ivycloak @irregular-book @whumpsoda @mj-or-say10 @pokemaniacgemini @whumpshaped @whumpsday @morning-star-whump @shinyotachi @silly-scroimblo-skrunkl @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @pirefyrelight @theauthorintraining @whump-me-all-night-long @anonfromcanada @typewrittenfangs @tessellated-sunl1ght @cleverinsidejoke @abirbable @ichorousambrosia @a-formless-entity @gobbo-king @writinggremlin @the-agency-archives @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @enigmawriteswhump @foresttheblep @bottlecapreader @whump-on-a-string @whumpinthepot

#whump #whump writing #mind control #captivity #vampire #vampire whumper #rare bookseller #alexander #oliver

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minkkumaz · 10 months

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OUR WICKED LOVE

your history with love was a little evil, causing you to aid to your own broken heart. when you finally stray away from the dating scenes, popular boy myung jaehyun asks you out. however, you don't know if he's being truly sincere.

PAIRING myung jaehyun x fem!reader WC 3.1k TAGS fluff. angst. popular boy jaehyun. he needs better friends. reader has fear of heights. misunderstandings. OMI NOTE inspired by queen yena but i might've put shame on her name cuz idk if i like this or not. too tired to proofread, and too tired to care.

love had always been extremely evil. a forbidden force that always ended with you, a broken heart, and multiple wet tissues crumpled up in the trash. you weren’t perfect, but every boy you’ve ever loved taught you a valuable lesson. don’t let the next one fuck you over.

and while your list of lovers wasn’t long, you’d never let it define you; considering many in your grade were already stupid enough to waste their firsts. each boy that seemed to be the one that would sweep you off your feet, left you disappointed and still painfully single.

the never - ending yearning to feel something was simply ignored however, as you decided not to try as hard for your senior year. there wasn’t much of a point on wasting it away on someone you couldn’t guarantee the rest of your life with.

despite this, he made your heart skip a beat, maybe two. it was only last year that he had transferred, and many girls couldn’t keep their gazes off of him.

myung jaehyun, the captain of the sports team, was what could only be described as pretty boy eye candy. talented in multiple departments, and had crazy amounts of energy. most of it sounded too good to be true, but you still admired him a lot.

envisioning someone like him with somebody like you was a difficult task though. he wasn’t normally in the dating scene, so you gave up on the romantic idea.

school rolled around after a long summer. the trees bloomed fragrant flowers that sometimes fell onto the pavement, only to get ran over by passerbys. mornings like these you always got to school a little earlier than usual. first days always excited you.

when you finally arrived at the familiar building, there were big banners and booths for incoming freshman, making you smile. just a little years back you walked into the gates completely clueless. however now was not a time to reminisce, as you were too distracted to see where you were going.

you tripped over your feet, colliding with the person in front of you in the process. hands quickly flew to your side to stablize you so you wouldn’t fall. as you were back up, you quickly bowed and apologized, earning a chuckle from the victim you accidentally fell on.

“it’s okay, be more careful next time, alright?” he spoke in a voice that you remember distinctly, making you shoot your head up to be met with him.

“ah– myung jaehyun! i’m so sorry.” you felt embarrassed before he pat you on the back. “don’t worry about it. you’re y/n, right?” jaehyun questioned, squinting to analyze you a bit more. the sudden attention made you even more nervous than you already were.

“yes, i’m y/n. how did you– how did you know that exactly?” he read the confused expression on your face before cracking a smile.

“you dated that popular senior last year, didn’t you?”

“wow so everyone remembers me from that? he wasn’t my smartest decision.” you laughed, feeling anxiety bubble up in your stomach.

“maybe not, you dropped on the grade list after you guys went public. i only know that because my friend was dying to beat you all year.” he put his hands into his pocket, looking around to see if he could spot his friend.

“i’ll make my comeback this year, now that i’m in books and not his bedroom watching him play valorant.” you scoffed, feeling slightly more competitive.

“i’m sure my friend will be very happy to hear that then.” he joked a bit, “well um, i guess i’ll see you around, y/n.”

you nodded him off, waving a small goodbye before watching him go towards a sports booth. the interaction left you very confused and a little sheepish. your first interaction with the cute boy and you were falling into him.

the best thing to do was ignore it for now, and maybe avoid him for the rest of your life to prevent yourself from humiliation. putting your best foot forward (not the one you tripped over), you walked into the school to find your home room.

it wasn’t difficult, considering you knew the school like the back of your hand at that point. there were a few people that littered the desks, wearing identical uniforms as you did. you sat yourself down at an empty seat, fixing your skirt appropriately.

the atmosphere was quiet despite the loudness from outside, it was still quite early so the first bell wouldn’t ring for another hour. to busy yourself, you pulled a book from your backpack. the hardcover made a quiet noise as you placed it on the desk softly, flipping through the worn pages.

you were immersed in the story at hand, barely noticing how quickly time flew by and how crowded the classroom became. quiet laughter and desks moving around became background noise as your eyes scanned the pages. you wished you had taken note of where all this noise came from, before there was a tap on your shoulder.

“hey, y/n, can i ask you something?” it was jaehyun. he never spoke to you until this morning, and suddenly he was coming back for more? his friends laughed behind him in the background, trying to shut eachother up.

“of course.. what’s up?” you asked suspiciously.

“i was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out sometime? i know we met kind of rocky but you seem pretty cool.” he rolled back and forth on his heels, awaiting a response of some sort.

“oh– um, you want to go out? when were you thinking?” you asked shyly.

“next weekend? the fair is in town and i think it would be fun to take you and get to know you. if you’re down, you know. it’s sudden but a bunch of people from school are going so we could spend the day together.”

any form of words felt like they were suddenly stripped from your throat. you mind told you it was a bad idea, and that it was way too soon. but your heart was telling you yes.

“that sounds nice jaehyun. i’d love to go with you.” you smiled fondly in which he mirrored, handing out his phone for you to input your number. after punching it in, he walked back to the group of his friends to show them your name in his contact lists.

when the school day passed by, you got a moment to properly reflect on what had happened. the myung jaehyun thought your one minute interaction was interesting enough to willingly hang out with you. the same jaehyun that had girls dropping like flies and shoving miscellaneous gifts and letters in his face.

it felt like a prank, some twisted shit that only immature school boys would pull to mess with poor hearts. yet that wasn’t the reputation that jaehyun put out, so you didn’t give it another thought.

the two weeks came and went, but in between it felt like forever. counting down the days that you get to officially hang out with him. but in this time you got to know him more, so in the end, the wait didn’t even matter.

sometimes during class he’d pull his desk by yours and talk to you forever until the bell rang and he had to scurry back. he’d shoot you glances or funny faces everytime the teacher had their back turned, making you bite your lip to hold back a laugh.

jaehyun made sure to take care of you too, despite not knowing you for long. he had some sort of motherly instinct, asking if you had eaten or if you’ve been sleeping instead of studying all night. and afterwards, he’d use the excuse that he didn’t want you to die from starvation or lack of rest before he had the chance to hang out with you.

moments like those made you blush, swallowing back any doubt that he wasn’t sincere in wanting to be around you. his friends definitely made an impression that they thought you were lame, but he was different.

through all of this you started to like him, picking up on the small things that happened. how he would laugh too hard he had to grip onto your hand to keep himself from falling over; in which he’d forget to let go. or when he gave you big hugs whenever you helped him understand a stupid grammar question.

maybe you liked him a lot, just after you swore off relationships the school year. after all, your heart moved quicker than your brain.

these thoughts buried your head as you got ready to leave your house, using your phone camera to make any further adjustments to your appearance. you wore pretty jewelery that complimented the outfit you were wearing. overall, you felt confident that this night would go good. it was almost impossible for him to awkward.

it didn’t take long for a text notification to pop up on your screen, jaehyun telling you he was outside. after one final look you tied your shoes and left to his car parked in front of your house. your proximity grew closer and he waved at you from an open window.

“hey, y/n! you look good.” he unlocked the doors, allowing you in.

“thank you.. you look good too!” you complimented back trying to seem casual.

“i’m flattered, but that’s all you. i hope you’re excited.” he brushed it off, starting down the road.

“haha yeah um– i’ve never really been to a fair before so this is my first time.”

“oh shit really? we have to go on the ferris wheel the view is really nice from up there!” he suggests.

“ferris wheel? is now a good time to tell you that i’m deathly afraid of heights? last time i went on one i almost passed out!” the mere thought made you shiver.

“come on, what if i hold your hand or something? i won’t let you fall off i promise.” his offer made you blush.

“maybe i’ll think about it.” you mutter while sinking down into your seat.

the two of you maintained a steady conversation on the short car to the fair. fun lights crowded your vision the closer you got, blurring together to create one big mush of colors in the night. people walked around with popcorn, cotton candy, and numerous prizes.

the scents filled your nose as you got out of the car. jaeyhun walked alongside you, pointing out all of the best rides.

“only crazy people go on that ride, it’s totally insane! looks sketchy too.” he shook his head, “the more tame ones are the few roller coasters, gravity ride, and of course, the ferris wheel.”

“i still don’t know if i wanna go on that one! i promise i’ll try everything else.”

“once you get up there and see the skyline, it’ll be beautiful. trust me.”

“okay okay i’ll go, only if you’re right next to me.” you sigh.

“good! let’s go meet up with my friends first and see what their plan is, and we can go.” he leads you through the crowd, searching around for his group. it was difficult in such a busy environment, but he called out their names loudly once he spotted them. they waved the two of you over as you followed behind.

“jaehyun! hey!” his friends called him over.

“whats up guys? me and y/n just got here, we weren’t around for long.” jaehyun grinned, fixing his hair from the slight wind.

“y/n?”

you poked out from behind jaehyun and waved. the relationship between you and his friends wasn’t great yet, they didn’t seem to like you at all.

“jaehyun can we talk to you in private for a second? just us dudes you know..” one of them spoke quieter into his ear. “yeah, uh.. y/n you wait here, we’ll be back.” jaehyun knew what they were going to ask him, and he dreaded it.

once the group was out of your vision, one of them spoke up sounding agitated.

“dude when are you break her heart? the dare wasn’t supposed to go this far.”

“i know i’m– i’m going to do it i promise.” jaehyun muttered.

“you better. just ditch her on the ferris wheel or something so we can go hang out without her dragging onto you.”

“i can’t leave her on the ferris wheel, that’s fucked. she’s afraid of heights.” jaehyun tried to argue.

“that’s not our problem. she’s lame and we didn’t even want her around in the first place. it was supposed to be a joke.”

“exactly, just leave her.”

not every popular student could be exactly whole - hearted, and because of this jaehyun wasn’t sure he was with the right crowd. their words stung his heart, knowing he’d have to get rid of you eventually. he was too deep into this stupid friend group that he didn’t want to risk leaving it all.

initially, it was an innocent conversation of who would do the worst dare. but then you became an unknowing victim of their game. get the girls number, make her like you, then shatter her idea of love. it sounded less dramatic at first, but he was too deep into it once he finished the first two steps.

jaehyun didn’t want to hurt anybody, at first he thought that since he barely knew you, it’d be okay right?

wrong.

the more time he spent with you, the more he started to genuinely like you. he suppressed the idea of hurting you until it was too late. now he was running back to you with a huge smile on his face. underlying something much more disappointed.

“hey, sorry about that! let’s go on the ferris wheel, yeah?” jaehyun turned your body around swiftly, and leaded you with his hands on your shoulders. the line wasn’t very long, so surely it wouldn’t be awhile until you got up.

“i can do this, i can do this.” you attempted to hype yourself up as you neared closer to the front.

“it will be fine trust me! i’m just gonna throw away my trash real quick and i’ll run back in line, okay?” he was lying.

“hurry please! theres only a few people left and they’re not letting anyone leave the line.”

“i will!” he crouched under the chain holding together the lines and ran to his group of friends, taking a look back to make sure you weren’t paying attention to him.

jaehyun’s stomach tightened as he watched you enter by yourself, calling out his name frantically. his friends pat his back, laughing at your reaction.

“jaehyun!” your breath quickens as the operator closes the middle bar. “please sir, let me off my friend was supposed to go on with me!”

“sorry kid, we have to keep everything running.”

the wheel started going and you panicked, anxiety beginning to run through your veins. you kept calling out for jaehyun, but there was no point. you scooted yourself as far into the back of the seat and blinked back the hot stream of tears running down your face.

through your hazy vision you barely saw him in the crowd before you got too far up. he was with all of his friends as they watched you freak out in mid air.

feeling betrayed was an understatement. but you couldn’t focus on your anger when you were going to have a panic attack. the higher you got, the heavier you breathed. your hands felt sweaty as you gripped onto the bar that held you in.

maybe the skyline was as beautiful as he said it was, your eyes were wired closed, unable to tell.

you drowned out any other noise, focusing on the creaking of the metal bars as you circled around. once voices became a little more clear, and your feet hit the ground, you opened your eyes and watched the operator lift up your bar and let you out.

your legs felt shaky as you stepped to the side, settling yourself on a bench. jaehyun came running towards you, seeing your tear stained face and balled fists.

“y/n! holy shit i– i’m so sorry i didn’t want to–”

“what the fuck is this, jaehyun? you force me to face my biggest fear just to ditch me for your friends?” you choked out, wiping your face with your sleeve.

“it was a dare, y/n.” “what?”

“i was dared to ask you out.” he admit, staring at the floor.

“so this was just one sick joke? you talked to me for two weeks straight then planned to blow me off the first time we hung out?” your face burned up.

“at first it was but–”

“i should’ve known better. i’m never falling in love ever again.” you cursed, getting up to leave him before he grabs your wrist and yanks you towards him.

“wait y/n!”

“what the hell?!” you yell trying to break away from him, “this isn’t funny jaehyun let me go–”

you couldn’t even process what was happening before his lips were on yours. the kiss enveloped you with a warmth much greater than the one burning in your heart. in that moment you felt your stomach dropping, yet feeling too guilty to indulge in it.

when he pulls away, you stare at him with shock and fresh tears welling in your eyes.

“why would you do that jaehyun.. you already hurt me.” you cry, attempting to get away from him while he held you still.

“because i don’t care about the stupid dare anymore. through all of that bullshit i started to like you a little more than i thought i would. so please, don’t run away.” he confessed, “you can hate me all you want, y/n. i deserve it. just know that there was a point where i stopped pretending.”

“what about your friends i thought–”

“i don’t care about my friends at this point, y/n. they weren’t good influences on me anyways. introduce me to your friends for all i care, i want something real. something like you.”

“you’re not just saying that, right?” you hesitated before he kissed you again, this time you kissed him back.

“do you believe me now?”

“maybe a little bit, but you still hurt my feelings jaehyun!” you pout, relaxing yourself in his grip.

“and i’ll work forever to forgive you. let me take you on an official date, yeah?” he let go of you, letting his hands trail to yours.

“you’re lucky you make my heart melt, myung jaehyun.”

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defrosted69 · 1 year

Text

Shot through the heart

"Hey Dweeb, buy me some bread."

"B-But I'm doing my homework"

"Ah? Do look like I give a single fuck about what your doing? Buy me some bread."

"I-I have no money.."

"Like I care? Stop complaining and buy me some bread already dipshit!"

A girl pushed your chair as you fell flat on the floor groaning from the sudden force that was applied on it. Your glasses fell to the floor as your eyesight has turned blurry and it was hard for you to navigate the surroundings.

"Oh poor Y/n's gonna walk in all 4s? Aweee bark for me~"

Their laugher almost made you wanna hate your life as whole as their torment at you every time you go to school is hellish. It's something that you wish but to end and perhaps it will end if you end your life yourself. But there was one glimpse of hope for you. That one factor left that would keep you from ending it all.

"Hey! Stop what your doing to him Hanni. It's not funny."

The voice of an Angel. Baek Jiheon. She was your senior and the president of the Club you were in. Jiheon was also kind of fond towards you especially with how enthusiasm you were everytime there's an meeting or an activity at the club.

"Awe come on Jiheon Unnie. I was just messing with him."

"Yeah right. Listen to me Pham Hanni. If I ever see you bully Y/N again, I'll make sure to give your sister a visit."

Jiheon's stern voice made Hanni clenched her fist and glare at her. You didn't really know what the two have going on but having to spent your time with your bully and savior, you could tell that the two used to have a past together. Hanni scoffed and left the classroom along with her friends as Jiheon handed you your glasses. Upon seeing her, your heart raced quicker than normal.

"Are you okay Y/n?"

Her angelic voice that send tingles down your spine temporarily froze you in place. Time slowed down as you observed everything about her. The sun was shining behind her and the birds seemingly singing her a song. Everything was so bright around her and you would have hoped nothing but to be with her.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"H-Huh? Oh yeah! I-I'm fine."

You stuttered as Jiheon lended you a hand helping you stand up.

"By the way, You don't have anything to do after class right?"

"Yeah."

"Good, cause we kinda have an important meeting later on."

Jiheon's bright smile was the only thing that your mind was processing as you were just nodding at her. She chuckled and gave you a sandwich which surprised you.

"Here's a snack for you Y/N. See you later~"

Jiheon waved at you and left the classroom leaving you a confused blushing mess. Jiheon's kindness is also what makes you fall for her more as this only added to her charms. But as much as you what to admire her, you have a lot of opponents to win her heart.

Everyone admires Jiheon because of her beauty, brains and kindness. In the perspective of everyone, Jiheon was the perfect Girlfriend. Many had tried to sway her heart but a lot has failed and that both gives you relief and anxiety. You felt relief because Jiheon wasn't taken just yet and you have a slight chance. But sadly, you felt anxious because you were afraid that the bond you two build will be destroyed if you confess to her.

But if you were to choose one threat then it would be the School's Prince, Kim Sunoo. Everything about him was perfect. He was gifted academically, athletic, Visuals, everything you asked for was given to him. But the thing that bugs you out is knowing that Jiheon and Sunoo are childhood friends and neighbors as well. Your at a disadvantage as everything about him was perfect yet you were imperfect in every way.

You could only sigh as the day was boring for you but as the final bell was rung, you packed your bag but Minji, Hanni's friend stood infront of your table stopping you as you gulped in fear.

"Hey, Gimme 5,000 won."

Her demanding voice scares you as your eyes began to shift everywhere but hers.

"I-I don't have that money on me..."

"So? Pull out your card or something. I need that money now."

"I.. I can't I don't have-"

The door opened and Hanni was back from her daily task of throwing the trash because of her tardiness in class. She hated it the most because the punishment didn't make sense but she knows that it's her fault too. Everyone in class knows that Hanni wasn't the girl to be messed with especially when after she threw the trash but Minji, used this to her advantage.

"Hanni, the dweeb isn't listening again."

You gulped in fear as cold sweat began to form on your forehead and hands. You didn't want to get beaten up by Hanni again especially now that you are needed by Jiheon in the club. But as much as you want to move, your body stood there frozen. You heard her footstep closing on you as Hanni sighed and boredly looked at you.

"You don't have Money on you Dweeb?"

"N-No I don't have that money on me"

"Tsk! Fine, here Minji. Just pay me back next time."

You widen your eyes as Minji was also caught of guard by what Hanni just did. Usually, Hanni would beat you up and threaten you just to force you to give them money but today, Hanni acted differently. Minji took the money nonetheless.

"Woah, Alright then. Wanna join me Hanni? I'll be hanging out with that 3rd year hottie."

"Nah I'll pass. I gotta visit my Sister today."

"Eh suit yourself."

Minji shrugged her shoulders and left the room. You on the hand, was still in deep thoughts on why would Hanni help you out. You were confused as Hanni grabbed her bag and fixed her things. She was about to leave the room when you finally spoke.

"T-Thank you!"

You must have been dreaming because there was no way that you will be thanking your bully. Hanni just stared at you and sighed leaving the class with no more words for you. It was truly a confusing moment but you just shrugged it off and went to the club room. Your silent sanctuary. You opened the door and saw Jiheon smiling ear to ear towards you along with the rest of the members.

"Y/N, good thing your here. Were about to start anyway."

You smiled brightly but that died down when your eyes saw Sunoo next to Jiheon. He was all smiles but seeing him close to Jiheon and seeing her laugh with her made you sad. You tried to ignore it but the moment Jiheon said

"Sunoo will be part of our club for the moment as our club will be joining the film club for the upcoming festival."

Obviously everyone was all on it because the school's prince was in their club. You didn't want to be selfish but you have no choice but to accept it.

"But the important thing is, Our club will be doing a theater show and this is where Sunoo's club will help us. Now, I have come up that we will be doing a play called sleeping beauty. Now who will be a leads? Any suggestion?"

This is what made you fear the most because it was preety obvious that Jiheon and Sunoo will be the main leads and what's your position there? Nobody, a nobody. You have no rights to disagree as everyone in the club voted for the two of them. It was painful to see the girl that you like be with someone better than you and you couldn't do anything. You stayed silent hoping that this meeting ended sooner than later.

The following days was pure torture for you as seeing them being all flirty with each other breaks your heart. You tried to keep everything in as much as possible as you keep reminding yourself that you have no rights to interfere.

Sunoo was better in every way towards you and you were no match for him. He was gifted while you have to thrive to sharpen your skills just to be recognized by them and if you did showcase them, nobody would even dare to listen to you.

As the days go by, it was pure torture for you but you kept a straight face focusing on making the play successful as it is. But if there was something that you were glad for is that Pham Hanni, your bully seems to have stopped bothering you at all after that time when you thanked her. It also wasn't just Hanni that didn't bother you anymore but even her friends stopped being an annoying bitch towards you.

Though you find it weird, you were glad that Hanni stop bullying you but that torture was replaced with emotional torture as you see Jiheon smiling and laughing with Sunoo. They say that accepting things as they are now is one way of letting yourself free from the pain you are suffering.

But to you that was a difficult task.

Jiheon became a part of your life and for you to let go of the sole reason why you come to school,

To why you still wanna hang in the club room,

To why you had hoped on seeing her smile,

To why you wanna keep moving forward.

It was very difficult for you to let go because if you did, what will you cling into? What hope or motivation will you have to keep moving forward in life? What's left for you to do?

Your mind was filled with more questions than answers as you mindlessly wander the busy halls of the corridors.

The day you dreaded finally arrived. You woke up in a very tired expression even though you had 8 hours of sleep in your body. Your mind was just so exhausted with all the negative thoughts that has filled your mind for the past weeks. You tried your best to accept that you have already lost Jiheon to Mr. Perfect. Everyday, you reminded yourself that you were a loser and a coward for accepting that this was is. You couldn't do anything because you were afraid of change.

Then it hit you. The biggest reason why you cowered out.

You were scared.

Not for yourself

But because

You were scared

Of the change that could happen.

You couldn't bring yourself to change the relationship between you and Jiheon because you were afraid of her Changing her behavior with you. Jiheon was your only friend and a very precious friend to you. Part of loving her is letting her go and seeing her happy.

Her happiness was yours as well.

You tried to place that seed on your mind everyday and today was the day you know that Jiheon will finally be the reason of someone's happiness.

You fixed your attire and left the house where you only live in. Gone were the days where you would greet your parents because there was no reason to greet them anymore. They have left this world and left you behind all on your own.

Upon leaving the house, you notice how dark the clouds were indicating that there's a strong chance that it will rain. You on the other hand could only chuckle softly.

"I guess the universe hates me huh?"

You walked your way towards the school and even though the weather wasn't that great, everything went smoothly for the festival. The festive mood was still felt around the classroom as plenty of classroom has their booth open for all to experience. Seeing the smiles of students made you feel like you lost yours. Even though the school was in such festive mood, everything felt so bland and plain.

You ignored all of this as you continued your trail towards the club room where you were tasked on checking up on the attire of the actors that will use. As you open the door you saw Jiheon in a very beautiful mint green dress. You were star struck as no words was able to describe her beauty. Everything seems to have sparkled seeing her beauty as her eyes landed on you.

"Oh, Y/N how do I look?"

"Beautiful."

It was the only word that you can describe to her but your mouth couldn't say it. You just simply nodded your head as she giggled. The more she showed you her soft side, the more you heart breaks.

"Oh my. You look so preety Jiheon."

Sunoo snapped you back to reality as he himself wore a prince outfit. It was befitting for him considering his title in school and you can tell why many girls would fall for him. He was sparkling just like Jiheon as the two smiled at each other. You sighed and went pass over them trying your best to dissappear on their sights as you wanted to focus on your task.

As the play finally started, many students were all anticipating on seeing how the preetiest girl in school will act towards the prince of the school. It was pretty obvious that everyone wanted to See Sunoo and Jiheon as most of the crowd just doesn't react to other actors at all. But when the pair came out, Cheers and whistles was all that was heard.

Never have you seen Jiheon smile so brightly and shine so perfectly with someone that wasn't you. As much as you admire their amazing chemistry together, the painful scene that was about to unfold infront of your eyes will surely make you realize that you have no space in between the two perfect couple.

The kiss scene where everyone had hope to see, was finally gonna happen. Your heart was starting to crack everytime Sunoo says his lines as he was inching himself closer to Jiheon. As the crowd was at the edge of their seat, you couldn't handle the passionate Kiss the two shared as you damn well that there wasn't suppose to be a kiss scene. It was suppose to be a peck on her cheeks but Sunoo showed everyone his intentions towards the girl. The crowd cheered for them leaving you in pain as you officially lost the girl you admire.

You couldn't handle it anymore as you left the play and walked towards the busy corridors of school not really knowing where to go now.

"Hey Minji."

"Sup Hanni."

"Have you seen the dweeb-I mean Y/N?"

"Nope. Haven't seen the loser since morning. Why Look for that loser anyway?"

Hanni could only just sigh as she has noticed how you actually looked more miserable even when she stopped messing with you. She thought that stopping herself from bullying you would be enough closure for all the wrong deeds she did. But the thing that really caught her off guard was when you actually thanked her for saving him.

It wasn't even in her best intention to save you but it's just that she wanted Minji to shut up. She couldn't react properly after you thanked her as she left the classroom flustered and embarrassed. This was her first time seeing someone thank her for the good thing she did and it felt so weird but in a good way. She felt like her body elevated and something heavy was released from her.

To this day, she still can't understand why she, the biggest bully in her class helped a loser like you. But nonetheless, she stopped bullying you and overall stopped being a menace. Hanni was actually scolded preety hard as the reality of things came crashing down on her. She has never seen her Sister this dissapointed in her and it broke her heart hearing and seeing her sister break down all alone in their kitchen. She realized that she needed to help her sister somehow as her sister was her everything.

Since then, Hanni tried to be a better person and even telling her friends to act more appropriately now which they found weird but followed her. The Old headache of a student Hanni was gone, and in the class was the studious Hanni. Some teachers were even surprised by her sudden change of behavior but they also praised Hanni for changing her bad behavior.

While everything was going her way, she couldn't help but feel bad to the person she hurtled the most.

You.

She would cringe at herself remembering the horrible mistreatment she would make you go through and everytime she remembers them, she wanted to beat herself up over and over again. She made it her goal to sincerely apologize to you but your mood everyday just look so gloom and depressing that she couldn't help herself but shy away.

This action of her would only made her more frustrated as she couldn't bring herself towards you. Now she hoped that this event would help her find you but it's like the universe was setting her up not to even see you as everywhere she go, she couldn't find you anywhere. She was getting frustrated as she ruffled her hair aggressively.

"Where in the blue hell is that dweeb?"

She sighed and decided to rest at her favorite spot in school.

The rooftops.

Even though the weather was a bit chilly and the sun was hidden, the rooftops was still the best place for Hanni to collect her thoughts and she would expect that nobody would be in the rooftops considering how the school is very much active. She pushed the door opening to the rooftops and she was greeted with a soft cold breeze from the humid atmosphere above her. But to her suprised, she saw a figure sitting in the edge of the rooftop as her heart began to race as the worst case scenario that she wishes not to encounter is infront of her.

"Who in the right mind-wait, isn't that Y/N?!"

Her eyes widen as she swiftly moved her feet and grabbed him and pulled him into safety. Hanni was fuming with rage because she didn't expect that you wanted to end you life when she hasn't even apologized to you.

"What the hell are you thinking dipshit?! Do you wanna die that badly?!"

Hanni raised her voice as you looked up tired and exhausted but Hanni suddenly came into your view with a very angry face.

"Hanni? Wha-what are you doing up here?"

You sat up as you were completely caught off guard seeing your bully, well your previous bully getting mad at you after tackling you for some unknown reason. Hanni was now a raging bull after hearing your response. She gritted her teeth in annoyance as seeing her mad scared you.

"W-Wait Hanni.. I-I could explain.."

"You better Dipshit. I'm waiting."

Hanni crossed her arms near her chest as she stared at you intently with burning gaze. This was the first time you saw Hanni this mad and you didn't even do anything to provoke her.

"I..I just wanted some time off to think and I went here."

"Why are you even on the edge of the rooftop. You could have died!"

Weird.

You found Hanni acting weird right now. You blinked several times to wake yourself up as you couldn't believe that your bully, Pham Hanni, just told you how you could have died. Hanni, your bully, cares for you.

"I'm sorry Hanni, but... Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"I-I mean w-why do you care if I die?"

"You asshole!"

Hanni punched your shoulder but to your surprise, her punch wasn't like the punches she used to give you instead her punch felt like it was out of worry and not out of bullying. It may sound weird to others but that's just how her punch felt right now. She then grabbed you by the collar and pulled you close to her face where you saw her face up close.

"If you died, I'll forever regret of not apologizing to you properly. So don't go fucking around and die just yet!"

Her eyes were furious but you could see that there was a few tears forming on her eyes and this really made you feel weird. Add in that seeing Hanni up close made you saw how beautiful she really was. Her soft skin and plump cheeks made it clear that her cheeks are very squishable. Her eyes who's burning and piercing you right now captivated you and you saw how her lips were perfectly carved.

"What? Why are you staring at me? Answer me Y/N!"

"H-Huh? Y-Yes! I-I won't die just yet."

"Not just yet. Never. Okay? Got that?"

Her demanding voice made you snap your weird thoughts away from her as she sighed and removed her grip on your collar and separated the two of you.

"Anyway, Like I said. I wanna apologize to you for all what I did and I know that even if I apologized now. That wouldn't be enough for all the pain I cost you. So if you wanna retaliate, sue me, or even push me off the edge. You have my consent cause I, Pham Hanni apologize."

Hanni respectfully apologized to you with her body fully bowed towards you. This day was full of surprises for you but seeing Hanni fully bow to you and apologize to you made you confused. One part of you hated her for making your life miserable but one part of you also want to accept her apology because you saw it yourself on how much Hanni has changed ever since she covered you from Minji. You wanted to really believe that Hanni has changed yet you still didn't fully trust her.

"Hanni, y-you sure there's nothing behind this apology? Because honestly speaking What you did to me really made me lose hope in living anymore."

Hanni bit her lip realizing how much of a douche bag she was. She knows that accepting her apology would be more of a stretch than she expected.

"But if there's one thing I learned from Jiheon is that people deserve second chances. The moment you covered me from Minji, I was confused but seeing you be the opposite of who you used to be gave me the idea that you really are changing for the best."

Hanni looked up and her big soft pair of eyes made you flustered as you looked to the side avoiding her gaze.

"S-So Hanni. I accept your apology but you better behave-"

Hanni cutted you off by hugging you tightly. Her action only made you shocked and confused as you have never, and I mean EVER saw her react like this. Pham Hanni, your bully is now hugging you and smiling so brightly at you.

"Thank you! Thank you so much Dweeb! Errr I mean Y/N!"

You really didn't know what to do but your instinct was the one who controlled your body. Your hand traveled to her hair as you stroke her gently making Hanni widen her eyes and realizing what she was doing.

"Ah!"

She immediately pushed you away as you landed on the floor flat.

"Ouch."

"Oh no, I'm sorry Dweeb-I mean Y/N. I'm sorry."

Hanni quickly went to you offering you her hand as you could only sigh. You accepted her hand and both felt weird when their hands touch. Hanni has heen bullying Y/N for some quite time yet this was the first time when both realize something.

You were obviously suprised by how small and soft Hanni's hand were. You expected her hands to be rough Considering she was a bully but her hands felt like it's been taken care of very well.

Hanni was so surprised by your hand. Never once would she feel like her hand melted on someone else's touch other than her sister. Growing up, she was quite sensitive to things and she hated rough hands as she finds them disgusting yet right now, you were proving her wrong. Her hand felt so natural to be with yours as the two of you stared for each other for a while before Hanni realized what she was doing.

She immediately helped you up and pulling her hand away and your hand felt cold when her touch was gone from your grip.

"A-Anyway, what are you doing here Hanni?"

You tried to break the awkward atmosphere around the two of you as Hanni avoided eye contact with you as her cheeks were suddenly heating up.

"T-This is my spot."

"Oh, should I leave?"

"What? No just stay. I mean, I don't mind sharing my spot with you."

"But am I allowed to?"

"Aish. Of course you are. Y-Your my f-f-friend now so I don't mind..."

Hanni pouted her lips as she felt embarrassed saying you were her friend but for you, you were all smiles as you couldn't believe that your bully became your friend. Just when you thought that Jiheon was your only friend, An unexpected surprised came to you and Hanni become your friend.

"This is... Weirdly amusing"

You and Hanni ended up talking about a lot of things as you were surprised that Hanni actually has a lot common things towards you. One of them is the love towards basketball. Hanni tried her best not to tease you about not joining the basketball team but because of your lack of confidence, you ended up not joining. Seeing you all down made Hanni feel sad as well. Sure, she was used to seeing you all sad because she used to bully you but now that she was your friend, she wanted to help you get over that lack of confidence you have.

"Hey Y/n listen to me."

"Hmm?"

"You need to trust yourself. Now listen up, the school Varsity team would be recruiting some fresh legs next month so why don't I help you?"

Your eyes widen in surprise by her propsal. You weren't even sure if Hanni was saying the truth or if she's just playing with her feelings but you ended up agreeing to her. She was all smile hearing your answer as she then came close to your startling you even more. She began to observe you face as she pouted out of her habit whenever she's thinking of something.

"Hmm... Have you ever removed your glasses before?"

"Umm.. Only when I go to the shower or sleep."

"Well take them off."

"Wh-What? Why?"

"Just take them off wil you."

Not wanting to anger the small girl anymore, you removed your glasses as Hanni's pout suddenly turned into a shocked expression.

She has never expected that the person she was bullying looked so differently when he removed his glasses. Hanni was captivated by you facial looks without your glasses as she immediately can tell that without your glasses, you imitated a strong aura which really attracted her. You saw how her cheeks suddenly was turning pink.

"Hanni, you alright?"

"Y-Yeah. You should get a haircut too."

"Should I? But I don't think having a new haircut helps me in getting into the team."

"Nonsense. Trust me you need to get a haircut. Also this should be your cut."

You noticed how skilled and detailed Hanni is when it comes to hairstyles as you couldn't help but smile at her genuine help. It was a weird way of befriending your bully but this was better than having Hanni as your bully till highschool. You had once again a reason to go to school.

TIMESKIP: 1 WEEK LATER

Murmurs was heard all around the corridors as all eyes were on you. It made you feel uncomfortable but remembering the words of advice from Hanni, you brushed off your uncomfortable feeling and walked the hallways of the school.

Everyone couldn't believe that a new student has transfered to their school during their midterms as everyone began to spread of the word. Everywhere you look, you can see everyone staring at you and you just smiled at them. That smile Immediately made the students go nuts especially the girls who began to put makeup all over their faces as they try their best to win you over. Once you were at your classroom, you sat at your usual seat and everyone in class began to whisper at each other seeing a new face but Hanni was smirking from the sight of everyone.

During that 1 week span, Hanni helped you have more confidence by being yourself and actually having a haircut. It took sometime to decide on what haircut you would have as Hanni was your personal assistant on choosing the right haircut. Both of you agreed to go out together to pick some clothes and for once, you actually had fun picking clothes unlike before where you would just buy online. Hanni encourage you to talk to the sales man/lady about the clothes you have and Hanni would be all smile when she saw you casually talking to them.

It wasn't such a big improvement but Hanni was glad that you had atleast some confidence to enter the class like nothing happened to you. She notice how Minji stared at you intensely and she even bit her lips.

"Hey Hanni, wanna bet I can make him my boyfriend?"

Hanni just rolled her eyes at her and smirked.

"I bet you won't."

"Watch me."

Minji was about to turn towards you when you walked past her and went to Hanni smiling.

"Ah, here's the hair wax I borrowed Hanni. Thanks."

"No problem Y/N."

Everyone gasped hearing the words of Hanni. They couldn't believe that the quiet and bullied classmate of theirs suddenly turned into a different person. A more attractive person. It's as if they were looking at a new and reborn version of you which was true. The entirety of the day was how other students came in waiting for you to come out and this really made you uncomfortable. Hanni was the one who shooed them away with her intimidating glare which made them scared as they all left.

"Thanks Hanni. I owe you one."

"You owe me a lot Dweeb. Hehehe~"

Hanni brightly smiled at you and you still haven't got used to how beautiful her smile is. Everything about what you thought of Hanni was immediately changed after hanging out with her. You though she was a no good for nothing student when she in fact was actually quite smart. Hanni grabbed your wrist as the two of you headed to the cafeteria as it was packed with students trying to get their hands on the special jam filled bread. But instead of being the first ones, they were shocked to see how many people have already lined up for it. Hanni pouted her lips to the side as she found it annoying that she couldn't be able to eat her bread.

But the crowd suddenly gasped making you two look at the commotion was all about and there your heart cracked a bit seeing Jiheon all smiles as she waves at the crowd and beside her was her boyfriend Kim Sunooo, the prince of the school. They became a couple after that play and hearing about it only brought nothing but sadness towards you yet you ignored it for the moment.

"Oh it's Jiheon Unnie. Oh well, I wish they have left later on...."

Hanni said making you look at the girl as her lips pouted. It was habit you saw from her whenever she would be sulking and you honestly find it adorable. Seeing her in such state made decide to give her a hand.

"I'll be right back."

"Huh? Where you going?"

You didn't answer her yet her eyes solely focused on you diving into the wave of hungry students squeezing themselves into the crowd. You were Getting pushed and pulled around yet you continued to push through the crowded and congested line. Hanni's eyes never left you as she felt so bad seeing you get pushed around. Her heart was being shattered seeing you struggle as she wishes nothing more than for you to be safe.

But all of her worries would be washed away when you got out of the line catching your breath and showing Hanni a warm smile.

"Hanni, I got the bread."

"You idiot. You could have gotten hurt. Are you okay?"

She placed her hand on your face observing it which you could only chuckle at her. Call yourself selfish but you liked the feeling of Hanni's touch on your face as it just keeps you at ease. You also found it weird that Hanni is somewhat was able to calm you down or even cheer you up whenever you needed it and it's been just a week since you two buried the past and moved to the future as friends. You held her hand to your face and leaned closer to her smiling brightly.

"I'm alright Hanni. No need to get worried."

Hanni was taken back by your sudden bold action. The space between you was shortened because you leaned in closer towards her. Her cheeks immediately turned red seeing you up close and wearing a proud bright smile. She could tell that her heartbeat was racing yet she tried her best not to act flustered.

"A-Alright. L-Let's just go..."

Hanni walked away from you making you chuckle at her cute reaction.

"Ahhh she's so cute....wait, did I say my Bully is cute?"

You shook your head and continued to chuckle as you followed Hanni from behind. Unbeknownst to you was that someone was watching from afar your interaction with Hanni and this didn't sit well with her whatsoever.

It's finally the last day of school and every student was finally gonna enjoy their summer vacation ahead of them but before that was the mighty final exams. This was the giant mountain that they have to climb before they could tatse that sweet sweet summer atmosphere. Luckily for you, you didn't have to worry about your grades because all of them were all straight A's and if you did fail, your final grade will be at most a B- or C+ which means you passed. So you were really relaxing in your room except that there was someone who's really worried about their own grade.

"Damn it! Hey Y/N. How do you get this again?"

You smile and took a seat next to her. Hanni has been hanging out with most of the time. Although you were busy with your club activities and basketball training, you still find time to hangout with her and she actually appriciate how much effort you give her especially when you have a tight schedule.

Hanni would be lying if she say she didn't like you.

Yes, your once Bully turned to the closes friend has feelings for you.

When that first though came to her mind, she wanted to vomit because of how absurd that thought was especially considering that both of you were just starting your friendship and there was no no possibility of her falling for you. That equation wasn't even formulated yet but as time goes on, the more you give effort to hanging out with her, helping her study, and even helping to her sister's job caught her attention.

The speculation of her falling for you got stronger when Minji admitted to her that she likes you. She shouldn't have been feeling so scared and worried but when Minji confessed to her, it made her feel so scared that she could lose you. It also didn't help that Hanni would see you with Jiheon all smiles and laughter. She felt so lost whenever she sees you happy with someone else and not her but she knows that she shouldn't be selfish as well, after all, she's just your friend.

But you keep giving her false hope whenever you appear in her and most of them was were when she needed you the most. When her sister's job was being threaten to be removed, you pulled up and showed everyone the files that her sister's business is legal and labeled in the government. Nobody has stepped up for her or her sister except you. You were silently inserting yourself in the Pham's household without even realizing it. Hanni realized that you weren't longer the Dweeb who would shy away from everything. No, you had become someone better. Someone who pushed out of their boundary just to help someone, someone who was ready to help, someone that Hanni needed, Someone that Hanni loved.

"I heard that your club will be having a picnic at the park this weekend."

Hanni said as you nodded your head at her.

"Yeah, it's like a goodbye ceremony to our seniors who will be graduating this year."

"I see, so Jiheon will be there right?"

"Y-Yeah, of course."

You didn't see how Hanni frowned a little hearing you stutter when she mentioned Jiheon. She knows that she has no chance to winning you over someone who's perfect and everyone admires.

"I also heard from Minji that you two will be watching the fireworks showcase during the weekend. It's at the Beach right?"

"Yeah..."

She tried her best not to sound dissapointed but she couldn't. She had hoped that you wouldn't join Jiheon during the weekend to hang out with her but it seems that you already have plans ahead. This only made Hanni more frustrated as she grabbed her stuff surprising you.

"Woah, where you going Hanni?"

"Home. Thanks for having me over."

Hanni bowed to you as she grabbed her stuff and placed it all in her bag then left in a hurry. It made you feel terrible seeing Hanni leave you so quickly as you wished nothing more but to spend more time with her. You have grown fond of your bully as she was now a changed person. There was little to no signs of her past self resurfacing and this made you happy because you finally have a friend you can hang out freely. But there was a little problem.

You had completely fallen for Hanni.

It was weird to say the least how much your heart always calls out for Hanni. Seeing her change so much for the better was a great thing because you finally realized that Hanni turned into a bully because of her environment growing up and how her family turned out to be. You wanted to help her in every way as you would go out of your way to help her in all possible way to at least make her feel at ease but the unexpected thing happened. As time goes one doing all this for Hanni, you ended up falling in love with her.

Some people may call you crazy for falling in love with your bully but that's just how it works for you.

But there's one thing stopping you from really realizing that you liked Hanni, Baek Jiheon.

Jiheon and Sunoo's relationship isn't going well lately and Jiheon has only you to be her support wall as seeing her cry breaks you heart as well. Jiheon was your first love in your life so she has a spot for your heart but Hanni was slowly making her way into your heart as well. You can't just choose both even if they were both important people in your life.

Jiheon, the girl that showed you that there will always be hope for you. That there is a light in every dark days you have and there's always a tomorrow to look forward too. Jiheon showed you what love can do to a person and how much that can motive them to be better.

Hanni, the girl that showed you that change is the only permanent thing in the world. Everyone can change for the better or worse but at the end of the day, it will be your choice on what change you will do. Hanni showed you that someone can change for the better and it's never to late to try things you wanted to do.

This frustrated you as you don't know the define answer to this question. But this weekend you might have the proper answer to what really is best for you. With a heavy sigh you jumped into your bed with a distress expression.

"I hope what I'm gonna choose is the right one..."

"The park feels so nice right Y/n?"

Jiheon smiled brightly at you. No matter how much she flashes you her sweet bright smile, you will never get tired of it even if she does it a thousand times in one day.

"Yeah, it does."

Everything was set-up perfectly as even the atmosphere was perfect. Everyone all had a smile because even though this was a sad day, it was also a day to be celebrated because of the accomplishment that the seniors are graduating. Jiheon being the best leader of the club made sure that the seniors feel the love they deserve as she handed them gifts as thank you for their efforts.

This has always been what Jiheon is good at, being kind and cherishing anyone no matter who they are. So it was quite easy why you fell for her and to why Sunoo fell for her too. As the orange sky painted the sky, Jiheon's Beauty reflected it's beauty as a soft breeze past her her by. Your eyes saw how glowing Jiheon was as she adjusted her hair behind her ear. Her smile that never seems to fade just shined so brightly that it captivates you.

"Say Y/N."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Can you follow me for a bit? I wanna show you something."

Jiheon grabbed your hand and you felt how soft her hands were. It wasn't everyday when Jiheon showed you skinship and when she does, it made your flutter a thousand times than normal and right now, Jiheon looked so beautiful as she walked you around the park.

On the back of your mind, this felt like a date which you have always dreamed of doing. From laying on the bed dreaming of the day when You would take Jiheon by her hand and walking in the park. This was your dream and right now it was the reality of things. Everything was going your way with Jiheon as she smiled at you and walked with her hand in hand. But one part of you felt hurt knowing this was the everyday view of Sunoo. It felt so wrong liking someone who's already taken.

"Y/N, you have changed a lot huh?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean appearance wise, you looked more... A-Attractive and your shy demeanor is now gone. Heck, Your even part of the Varsity team now."

She proudly look at you as your heart melted. Everything you have dream of doing with Jiheon was happening right infront of you yet something didn't sit right with you. It feels like there was a catch with how this was presented to you. It felt like there was a string attached to this and was a set up to something very emotionally draining for you.

The two of you walked all around the park admiring the scenery around as both of you were enjoying each other's silence. No word's was needed between the two of you inorder to enjoy the walk.

"We're here."

Jiheon finally spoke as both of you were standing un the park bridge. The small river below you made it so relaxing as you looked up and saw that the sun was setting and darkness will soon engulf the sky.

"It's a nice place."

"I know right. This place is my little sanctuary. Well I don't think it's little considering it's open to the public."

Jiheon chuckled as you smiled at her. A memory flashed through your mind as your smile only got brighter remembering the first time Hanni apologized to you.

"Y/N, I really wanna thank you for being there for me all the time. I wouldn't have gotten this far if you weren't there."

Jiheon's words caught you off guard as you really didn't expect the sudden words comming from Jiheon. You were obviously the person who admired Jiheon the most and was one of the reason why you continued on but to hear her admit this, made you realize that you were important in Jiheon's life.

"I merely did anything."

Jiheon shook her head and and grasped both your hands as she held it tight. This made you blush at the sudden contact as Jiheon giggle admiring her hands on to yours.

"Y/N, that nothing you speak off is a lot. Whenever I feel like giving up, you were there to cheer me back up. Even before you changed, you were my biggest pillar of support and I really, really couldn't thank you enough but..."

She trailed off and suddenly looked at you with an expression of uncertainty. Something that you were accustomed off whenever Jiheon had trouble with something. Everytime you see Jiheon make that face, it breaks you to pieces and you wished nothing more to help her smile. But something tells you that this issues of her is not something you can easily help.

"But an unexpected thing happen. Call me a crazy bitch for this but I... I actually liked you Y/N."

A phrased that got you frozen on your feet. The words that only played on your mind and imagination over and over again Hoping it would become a reality was now a reality. Your ears heard it very well.

Baek Jiheon.

The girl that became your beacon of hope when things weren't going their way.

The girl that you found amazing and beautiful.

The girl that protected you from the harsh reality.

The girl that made you heart ready to burst.

But

She was also the girl that made you hate yourself.

The girl that cause you so much pain.

The girl that confused you.

Yet

She was still the girl that you loved.

A sad smile appeared on your face. You retraced your steps of thoughts and realized that you already have an answer to your dillema. Jiheon was no doubt the best girl you have ever met and there was no way that the time you and Jiheon spent will be replaced.

"I liked you. I was too afraid to confess to you because I was scared that my confession could destroy the relationship we have. So I tried my best to ignore it and then Sunoo came and I though I should give him a chance. But I thought I would forget my feelings for you but they only grew more. And I ended up breaking up with Sunoo because I don't want to hurt him anymore. "

You were silent as you took this all in. The girl that you liked actually likes you back. That was the only thought that was stuck in your head and you couldn't believe it. You don't know what kind of string pulls was happening somewhere but this was it, Jiheon has finally confessed to you. The moment you have been dreaming off, the moment Jiheon say-

"Y/N, I love you."

3 words, 8 letters. A dream come true for you as Jiheon stares at you with a flustered cheeks and uneasy eyes. You can tell that Jiheon was very genuine with her emotions towards you. This made you flustered as well as your cheeks turn to bright pink leaving you a blushing mess. But time wasn't on your side. The longer the silence keeps playing, The worse case scenario will play out for the both of you. You feared that everything will be awkward between the two of you. With a gulp, you took all the courage you have and finally spoke.

"Jiheon, I-"

"Can't believe Minji got sick on a day like this..."

Hanni spoke to herself while sitting all alone on the beach side observing everyone happily smiling with their friends or loved ones. Today was supposed to be a happy day for Hanni as school was finally over and she gets to watch the fireworks with her friend but she got sick last minute. It also made her feel more sad considering that you are with Jiheon.

Her mood suddenly turned gloomy realizing that you must have the best time with Jiheon.

"He must be all smiles spending time with the girl she likes…while I'm out here, all alone watching the fireworks like the usual. Shit, why should I feel sad anyway? I have always watched the fireworks all alone, what's so different this time?"

Hanni tried to cover up the real reason why she was feeling sad this time unlike the times she was happy being all alone. The fact that a certain Dweeb caught her attention and shifted her perspective towards him. She chuckled at the fact that she was the one who helped him change himself yet she didn't expect herself to fall for him even more.

She saw how you were originally and what you really are a person. A guy with a big heart that was just scared to act because he lacks self confidence in himself. Something that she helped you overcome. But the reason she fell for you wasn't because you changed, it's because of what you showed her even before you changed. It was only now she saw her own mistake of bullying such a person that she felt so wrong falling in love with you. If she can, then she'll do anything to push you to Jiheon because she herself isn't worthy enough.

She can't seem to forgive herself for giving you so much pain and that's one reason of keeping her away from fully confessing to you. In her perspective, you deserve the world, you deserve someone more better, you deserve someone who would love you unconditionally and Hanni has all those things in an X mark.

She looked around hoping to remove those thoughts away as her eyes saw how the beach was filled with couples, families, friends and the like. But majority of them were couples getting all lovely dovey towards each other and a sour expression grew over her face.

"There's no way I will act like that. That's embarrassing!"

Hanni could only sigh as she observe the sea flowing through the sea. The sky has already turn dark and the moon was seen slowly climbing up it's peak but as of the moment, the moon's reflection can be see on the sea. The sound of the sea waves was weirdly relaxing for Hanni as she yawned a little. There was a soft breeze that past her by as she sat comfortably on her solo spot.

"I wonder if things worked out for them. I should probably be ready to face Y/N next school yea-"

"Hanni!"

THUMP THUMP

She froze on her spot. She didn't want to turn her back as she knows who was the person calling her name out. Her heart began to beat faster and all her thoughts began to be in shambles. She could hear your footstep getting closer to her and she wanted to run away right now. But her body was frozen shut as you took a seat next to her.

You didn't speak as you admire the moon's reflection and the sea breeze passing by. Hanni was the opposite, she was staring at you intently. She observed your handsome side profile as her eyes trails every part of your face. From your sharp jaw, small round ears, fluffy messy hairstyle, your Adam's apple and finally to your lips. In her view, your lips looked so perfect for hers as she wanted to know how would your lips locked with hers.

She almost lost herself but she snapped her thoughts away and realize that this wasn't the best situation for her heart and mental state. Something bad could happen or even worse, she might do something she could regret and she didn't want that. She suddenly stood up and turned around but you were quicker than her and grabbed her hand holding it firmly. Hanni silently squealed from the sudden contact as her back was turned against you.

"Why... Why are you here?"

Hanni managed to ask without sounding like a broken person yet you heard her voice. Hanni was at the brink of crying as this broke your heart.

"I wanted to.... See you."

Everything was wrong. This was wrong for Hanni. She didn't like where this was going and her heart was beating fast yet her mind was so confused and hurt. She doesn't want to believe it because she's not the one and she will never be the one for you. She can't accept herself being the person you choose over your first love.

"You could have just called me or texted me to meet up. No need to see me here."

"But I WANTED to see you. I NEEDED to see you tonight. Hanni."

Hanni bit her lips from making enough noise. Her eyes began to show tears as this was getting to painful for her. Her mind didn't want this happen because of the torture she would go through yet her heart was telling her to face it, To face you, to face the person she love.

"Y/N, S-Stop whatever y-your planning. I-I don't wanna to hear it. A-and let m-me go.."

Her body was beginning to shake from the stress of her emotions and her voice was beginning to crack indicating that she was close to tearing up and breaking down. You were no Idiot and you can tell that you were the reason why she was in this state of confusion, of pain and frustration. And tonight was the night you will help her clear all those emotions of hers.

"Pham Hanni, I'm not letting you go especially with how you stole my heart."

Hanni felt like she was just shot straight to her heart hearing those words. It felt so right and at the same time, it felt so wrong to hear those words out of your mouth. Her walls were beginning to break down as small drops of tears began to make their way down to her cheeks.

"S-Stop b-Bullshitiing M-Me and j-just go, leave me already!! Leave me be DWEEB!!"

Hanni's emotion was difficult to control right now and her defense mechanism from you was her screaming and scaring you but that didn't do anything. Instead of backing away, you closed the distance between you and her as you hugged her from behind. Hanni visibly yelped in surprised by your action but she also felt a soft, warm, protective embrace around her small body.

She hated this, she didn't deserve any of this but how come you were so stubborn especially with her.

"Let me go! L-Let me go!!"

Hanni squirmed in attempt to free herself from you hug but the more Hanni resist the more you hugged her closer to you. You don't want to let go of Hanni anymore and you want to protect her at all cost.

"Why... Why can't you let me go... Why do you... Like me..."

Hanni couldn't hold it any longer as she began to cry her heart out. It was painful for you to see and hear Hanni cry infront of you as you could only hug her and explain your take.

"Call me crazy, but ever since you helped me be a better version of myself, I started looking at you differently. I saw different sides of yours that I couldn't see before. The way you tried your best to change yourself made me proud and inspired to do the same. And seeing the side that you rarely show made me realize that you're beautiful, preety, kind hearted, hardworking girl. "

Hanni's strain walls showed cracked as she listened to you.

"Gone were the times when you were called the bully and now is called the the A student in class. How can I not love you when you helped me without any conditions and stayed by my side when I needed it too."

More cracks appeared on the walls.

"I admired Jiheon because of her angelic demeanor but the more I learn about and get to know you, the more I was getting myself deeper and deeper towards you."

"H-How can you say that you l-liked me? I-I bullied you and gave you painful memories. Why do you still love me?"

Hanni turned around and faced you. Her eyes were sad and her tears werw flowing nonstop as you began to stroke her hair.

"Yes you bullied me and I will never forget the pain you gave me."

Hanni avoided your gaze by looking down with her head head hanged low. This was what scared Hanni because there was no justification of what she did towards you yet you only smiled at her.

"But you also changed me and made me a fighter Hanni. You bullied me yet if it weren't for that bullying. I wouldn't be here talking to you, You probably didn't change for the better, and I'll forever torture myself seeing Jiheon happy with Sunoo. You get what I mean? It's like a butterfly effect. None of this would had happened if you didn't bullied me. I wouldn't be here confessing to you because I....."

"I love you Hanni."

Hanni's walls broke down and she couldn't hide it anymore. Her heart won at the end of the day as she cupped your cheeks and pulled you closer to her lips and finally closing the gap as you felt a soft pair of peach flavored lips.

Your world froze momentarily as your lips touched hers. Sparks and fireworks was all over your body. Your mind went haywire before going back online as Hanni pulled herself away from your lips. Her cheeks flushed red as she stared at you with her preety brown eyes. You touched your lips and stared at Hanni and it finally dawn at you at what transpired.

"Y/N. Do you really, really love me? Even after all what I did. You still love me?"

Her face still showed uncertainty but there was also hope now present unlike before. You gulped and took in a deep breath. Your answer to her question will determine what relationship will you have with Hanni.

"Hanni, I already have forgiven you when you apologized ro me. The past is past and what I want to look forwards too is how I'll spend my future with you. I Wil love you even if you turned to an ant, a bear or even a wolf. I love you Pham Hanni. I love you to the moon and back. I love-"

You were immediately cut off by the familiar peach flavored lips as Hanni kissed your lips shutting you up. Once again, her lips just send electrifying tingles all over your body and it also made feel relaxed and loved. You pulled her closer to you as you deepened the kiss.

BANG

Both of you were engulfed by a red light from the sky as both of you pulled away and looked up the sky as fireworks showcase finally began. Multiple fireworks began to explode in the air as the crowd was all mesmerized by the view. But you looked at Hanni as she looked at you two. Both your hearts began to beat again as Hanni pulled you close as your foreheads were at each other's.

"I love you too Y/N. I love you to the moon and back."

She gave you a heartfelt smile that was filled with happiness and love. And you showed your own smiled at her as your heart finally was at ease. You choose the person that your heart desired and didn't listen to your mind. You already went through a rough first love with Jiheon but Hanni, was the perfect love for you.

You could only laugh at the back of your mind realizing how your love story was so unique.

It started from bullying,

To her apologizing to you,

To her helping you change,

To see her change herself as well,

To being friends,

And now

Was finally lovers.

#pham hanni #kpop fanfic #new jeans #hanni #fluff #hanni x reader

472 notes · View notes

lu-lus-duckies · 1 month

Text

You all need sleep and I may not be the best sleeper but here's some tips. these especially go out to @xxx-angie @nunalastor and @the-aprilfools-bitch . I will be in your closets making sure you all get good sleep >:(

rest your eyes from tv and phone. Just blue light in general. instead you could listen to music or podcasts. those are much better.

try sleeping between 2-4 PM at the latest (which means either that or EARLIER). your body produces the most melatonin (the thing you need to sleep) at those times. It will be much harder to fall asleep later than that

Take a warm bath or shower. If I didn't have a bad relationship with liquids, I would be doing this all day. the warmness helps drop your body temperature and generally lower temperatures signal to the body that it's nighttime and consequently bedtime.

no coffee if you drink some, unless you got ADHD (angie). I've heard caffeine works backwards for people with ADHD

If you grew up in a home with the TV on constantly or just generally had some noise around you in your childhood whenever you went to bed, TURN ON SOME NOISE. It is what happens with me and I can't sleep without some noise.

It would be nice if your bed was only used for sleeping, but I know that's not happening lmao

midgnight snacks disturb your sleep. try to avoid those, since your body starts metabolism during nights. it doesn't need more food to process. but if you must grab a snack, it's best to choose something that's easily digestible and maybe even increases the production of melatonin. some of these are milk (obviously), bananas, nuts, eggs, tea, vegetables and such.

Don't rely too much on meds, otherwise your body will get used to it and will depend on it for you to go to sleep. Instead you could try pavlov effecting yourself with something similar that can always be available. For example, before going to sleep, perform a certain action (I used this method in school and my version was patting myself on the head or touching my cheek with the hand opposite to it). once you've done this enough times before sleep, your brain will associate that action with sleep and you'll get a little sleepy if you do it again. This takes a long time though, A month maybe I have stopped doing this, but if nothing else works this can be an option. Though this isn't perfect lulu side rant: tried to condition myself with a ring once. was really bad with doing homework on time, so everytime I was doing homework I would switch a ring I wore to my forefinger. And this was only used for that situation. I never moved my ring to my forefinger for any reason at all. Thought this would work, but the only conditional response I got was that everytime I moved that ring to my forefinger I started thinking about homework and not really doing it.

If that doesn't work, try changing your enviorment. It doesn't have to be drastic. for example: sleep backwards. lay your head where your feet usually are and your head where your feet usually are. or maybe try sleeping on the floor. I am paranoid about sleeping in other peoples houses but this is the reason I tend to fall asleep anyway

If your lack of sleep is caused by anxiety (like intrusive thoughts or thinking about the future), try listening to a mindless podcast or a youtube video. It will help distract from your thoughts and give you something to focus your mind on, plus most content these days tend to try and turn your mind off to get that sweet sweet watchtime.

If all else fails, you can try to tire your brain out I guess. that's my method for extemely bad sleepless nights. I start reading because that's the most tiring activity I can do in bed and usually I fall asleep in the middle of it.

#lulu facts #lulu is delulu #lulu is caring for you all so he can be the most mentally ill #lulu lore

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tightwadspoonies · 5 months

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Dumpster Diving and Salvage Shopping

If you asked me what my role in the ecosystem is, I'd say I'm a scavenger. I hate confrontation and I hate spending money when there are other options. I will gladly just take whatever you don't want in order to avoid such unsavory obligations.

So dumpster diving, salvage stores, and incidental meat registries and I get along pretty well save for the anxiety. This post, hopefully, takes some of that away for my fellow scavengers who would love to dumpster dive but just don't know how yet, or are afraid of getting in trouble.

Dumpster Diving:

First of all, dumpster diving is legal in all 50 states of the US, but check local ordinances because rich people get fussy about people digging through trash to the point of some cities condemning the practice. It's on a bunch of other posts but it's worth saying.

Cops, of course, will lie or imply otherwise on this. A good way around that is to look like someone who is "not breaking the law". AKA: look like a suburbanite: Wear some khakis and a polo shirt, carry a Starbucks cup, and act as white as you can possibly get away with. If approached, smile, call the cop "officer" or some such referential title, and explain that you thought it was legal. Not that you know it's legal- that you thought it was legal. If they tell you to scram, do so. No argument with law enforcement is worth what is in that dumpster.

Note that it is illegal in many places to put stuff into dumpsters that aren't yours, though, so if the cops are having a slow night, be careful about them asking you to put stuff back.

You also don't want to be the reason dumpster diving gets banned in your community. Do this primarily by never getting into a dumpster. I know the container of perfect strawberries is just out of reach, but if you fall or are unable to get out you are not only up a creek yourself but potentially causing an anti-dumpster-diving frenzy that your town's grocery stores will never recover from. Also, people have legitimately died from getting into a trash compactor.

Now, "legal" does not mean "pro-store-policy". One of the main reasons for this is that is dumpster diving can be somewhat dangerous and no store wants to be the store that's known for letting people break legs on their slippery dumpster juice or what have you.

Avoid too many store policy issues by waiting until the store closes, doing a pass-by to ensure no one is waiting to see if anyone is picking out of their dumpsters, and (again) looking like someone who wouldn't be diving in dumpsters.

Store management tends to worry that they will be sued for letting you eat expired or unsafe food. If you do get approached by a manager who isn't excited to see someone picking over their dumpster selections, it is a good idea to impress upon them how very many dumpsters you pick from and how you wouldn't possibly be able to prove it was their dumpster that gave you food poisoning. Also, if you're feeling particularly bold, let them know that you are saving their store money by decreasing the weight of their waste. Probably not by a lot, but hey, you're on their side here. If told to scram, once again, do so with haste.

On that note, there are safe and unsafe foods to pick:

Generally Safe:

Packaged shelf-stable foods even with damaged outer packaging

Milk if still cold

Cheese

Eggs

Bread (including frozen bread if still cold)

Whole Veggies and Fruits, even with bad spots

Fermented anything

Non-Food Items like dry pet food, hand sanitizer, soap, cleaning products (except bleach), etc...

Generally NOT Safe:

Sliced lunch meats

Cheese touching meat

Cut salads or veggie trays

Prepared hot foods (even if still hot)

Pre-cooked refrigerated meals

Frozen veggies (unless still mostly frozen)

You want to make sure you have some time the next day to process your haul. Everything needs to be carefully sorted, cleaned, peeled, and in the case of perishable food like eggs and veggies, cooked prior to eating.

One final thing:

Be considerate. Leave everything how you found it and make sure you're not making more work for employees. Also, if you know others in your area dive, leave some stuff there for the next person.

Salvage Shopping:

Perhaps you aren't completely up for dumpster diving but still like living your lil raccoon life? Thats fine!

Salvage groceries are a great option. Essentially, instead of throwing food away that they can't sell to traditional consumers, grocery stores sell near-dated or damaged products to salvage grocery stores for pennies on the dollar, and that savings is passed along to the consumer.

Most salvage stores are smaller than traditional grocery stores, and some are cash-only. Some have fresh or frozen sections, but the smaller ones are pretty much all packaged goods. If you are living exclusively on salvage stores, you may want to supplement with some dumpster diving, foraging, or gardening (or even maybe going to a grocery store, but that's hella expensive).

Salvage groceries are not necessarily going to be perfectly food safe. There will be expired goods (doesn't mean bad). That just means you will have to do some due diligence. For example:

Make sure that an item you want to purchase is still in a sealed container

If there are more than one of an item, make sure they are the same color

Prioritize un-dented cans

If you must buy a dented can, make sure the dent isn't on an edge or seam

Don't buy expired canned tomato products

If you open a food and it smells bad, looks like it thawed and re-froze, hisses or bubbles- THROW IT AWAY

Generally be more cautious than you would normally be at a grocery store.

In my area these are pretty much always run by the Amish and Mennonite communities, but check around in your area. They are becoming more and more common outside these communities.

Not all of them will be listed on google maps. Look for a shop called "Bend and Dent" or "Salvage Groceries" or a small store advertising "Discount Groceries". Once you find one, it's easy to find others by asking at the checkout, since they tend to cluster together.

A drawback is that, because they do tend to cluster, they may be farther away than other grocery options. If you are far away, I highly recommend getting a few friends together and making a day of it. I can't say this about most things, but the extra cost in gas is well worth the savings, even if you are driving over an hour.

#free food #food #dumpster diving #USA #homesteading #tightwadery #adulting #reference

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sribbles-drabbles · 1 year

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@sivlynxx asked:

So umm this is my first time requesting something, can you write sfw of the obey me brothers with a really anxious MC? Like an MC who is always anxious? Thank you

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Sure hon!! As someone who has anxiety themself, I had a lot of fun with this!!

💙Lucifer💙

Honestly I don’t think Lucifer would have much idea what it’s like to feel anxiety, or at least wouldn’t admit it.

He’s the avatar of pride, and thus usually very confident in himself and his decisions.

So when he meets you this meek little human who’s nervous ALL THE TIME he starts to feel protective

In his mind he has enough confidence for the both of you

When you attempt to explain your situation and what it means to have anxiety, he can’t help but think back to Lilith

Thus his protectiveness increases 10 fold

He’s the type to brag about you or tell you that “I chose you because you’re perfect. As the avatar of pride I wouldn’t settle for anything less.”

In other words he attempts to remedy your anxiety by hyping you up. But remind him that it’s part of who you are.

Slowly he’ll start to understand, and see how many things can cause emotional peril for you, and rather than being protective, he becomes your guiding light

He still wants you to have more confidence in yourself, and will still hype you up in his own way, but it more apt to helping you process and work through your anxiety.

“I know it seems utterly terrifying through your eyes. But I promise it’s not scary. And when have I ever lied to you?”

💛Mammon💛

This man GETS IT.

I mean not totally because how can you be terrified of like the future???? It’s not gonna hurt ya?????

But once you sit him down and explain why you’re afraid of things it clicks

And then Mammon probably opens up about his self anxiety caused by years of his brother’s words

You two probably have a nice moment of realizing how much you two bonded over this.

Honestly I think Mammon becomes really good at reading your tells.

Like, he’ll notice little things like you playing with your hair of sleeves and immediately drag you away from whatever it is that seems to be making you anxious.

If you’re the type to apologize 200 times for something minor, Mammon is the type to hug you tight and tell you it’s ok.

It’s something minor, let it go.

Honestly he keeps you grounded, in a very sensitive and emotional way.

That doesn’t mean he’s perfect though, as he often says dumb shit that can make you nervous, or comes back with bruises after an encounter with Lucifer and you worry.

He always feels terrible when he sees you full of fear due to his actions, and tries to get hurt alot less and be more careful with his words.

“O-Oi, I’m ok babe!! Honest!! Please don’t freak…I mean-….you’re not-….Ugh….I’m sorry….just…come here…”

🧡Levi🧡

Another man who understands your struggle on a spiritual level.

Honestly if you have anxiety….maybe don’t date this man…

Your anxiety triggers his anxiety and it’s an endless cycle of “why are you nervous???” “I don’t know, why are YOU nervous???”

But if you DO date this man with your level of anxiety already, you both slowly learn to function together

And honestly you both function a bit better together than apart some days

You both learn each other’s tells and attempt to pull each other away from uncomfortable situations.

Levi teaches you some of the soothing techniques that he picked up over time, and if you have any you like, you’re welcome to teach them to him!

When it’s a really bad day for one of you, you often find comfort in the other, and it more often than not results in wrapping up together in a blanket while playing a video game or watching anime.

He also strikes me ad the type to swim when nervous, and thus will offer you to join him of you’re feeling a lot of anxiety at a given moment.

All in all, it takes practice, but if you two really work together, you end up being a really nice and supportive couple that helps each other function nicely!!

“H-Hey it’s o-okay!! How about we watch some Ruri-Chan instead. I’m r-right here, I promise.”

💚Satan💚

He kinda understands it, but more in like a third person psychiatrist kinda way.

Like he knows what anxiety is and many of the symptoms and habits as he’s done some research on the topic when it comes to Levi and Asmo sometimes.

Thus when you confide in him or when he figures it out and asks you if you have anxiety, he immediately enters “And why do you think that is?” Mode.

Satan is a fixer, not a “we can work with this” person.

Your boyfriend starts acting like a therapist, and as you rant to him about your concerns, he’ll give you logical answers to your concerns or strategies to go about your problems.

If this type of thing helps? Great! Let him play Sherlock Holmes with your brain, it give him something to do and makes him feel happy to help and accomplished when he figures out the advice you need.

If it DOES’NT work and you need more of an emotional approach, tell him that. He’ll be frustrated and probably get angry.

But when he sees how he fell into his sin, and how he scares your already frightened form, something clicks.

This is emotion, something illogical. And he needs to be more sensitive.

He then researches eve more about anxiety, and asks you about your personal experiences on a more personal level.

He’s definitely wary and nervous about his temper now. Or even more than before. He realizes that this is his own anxiety now, and uses this to form more of a solid empathic connection with you.

He really loves you, and while it may take him time to learn how to best live with you, please give him time. He’s trying really hard.

“I’m sorry….that was insensitive…let me rephrase, did you want to talk about it? Or is there anything you want to do to take your mind off of it?”

💕Asmo💕

Another person who I feel like somewhat understands it but also doesn’t…

Like, he doesn’t KNOW that he understands it or that he’s experienced it until you tell him your feelings and he’s like: “THAT’S WHAT THAT WAS???”

Then he’s probably just grappling with the fact that HE has anxiety, and then gets anxious over whether or not that will give him worry lines, and if people know, and if—

He starts spiraling.

You end up having to use some strategies you learned to help him calm himself down.

He thanks you and you both cuddle while talking about the topic more.

Once you both realize you both have anxiety, you bond over it and learn what coping mechanism help the other person so you can effectively help each other!!

To Asmo, mental health is just as important ad physical health, and he makes sure to reminds you of that!! He probably seeks out therapy for the both of you.

He offers to go with you at the same time if it’s too scary.

After all, I don’t think Asmo has social anxiety, but more anxiety about how others perceive his appearance specifically.

It’s definitely caused by his time online, and his modeling career.

Remind him that it’s his personality that people love, not just his appearance.

He’s really good at soothing you with words or physical touch if you prefer and learns all of your tells and favorite coping mechanisms.

He’s a doting and devoted partner, and just as you help him with his anxiety, he helps you with yours!!

“Shhh, shhhh, it’s ok love. Don’t focus on those nasty thoughts. They can’t hurt you…just focus on me, alright?”

❤️Beel❤️

Another baby who understands how hard anxiety can be.

I feel like he developed it really bad after Lilith’s death, and his separation anxiety especially only got worse after Belphie’s imprisonment.

So when he notices you pushing the food around on your plate without taking a single bite one dinner, he worries.

He probably confronts you afterword. If you try to lie tour way out of it, telling him your fine, he’ll let it go but look sad.

Once you do tell him, he feels a bit better, but still worries about the fact that in his mind you live with all this fear, worry, and doubt.

He probably becomes quite a bit more clingy.

Wherever you go, Beel is not to far behind to make you feel loved and safe.

Other demons make you feel nervous? He scares them off. You’re worried about finishing assignments and deadlines? He’ll help you with whatever if is as best he can.

He often invites you to watch his practice after classes so that you can simply watch him play and turn your brain off for a little while.

When your anxiety gets really bad, he’ll probably simply hold you. Beel isn’t the best with words sometimes, so he uses physical touch to often ground you, but always asks if it’s ok if he touches you first.

If you don’t like touch or that makes your anxiety worse, he’ll probably go down to the kitchen and make your favorite food before returning.

He then puts on your favorite movie/show/anime and you two eat together and watch it.

Of you would rather eat and talk about it, he’s more than willing to listen though!!

“Thanks for telling me…that’s gotta be hard…but we’ll eat all your favorite foods until you feel better.”

💜Belphie💜

Belphie understands anxiety, but probably not to the level you have it.

Though he DOES know some great coping mechanisms from helping Beel with his anxiety over Lilith.

So when you first display anxiety in front of Belphie, he’s really good at helping you calm yourself down with breathing and reassurance.

He’s glad he was able to help, but a little frustrated that he did’nt notice it sooner. He thought you were just still jittery about other demons and your surroundings.

Once you talk to him about your anxiety he asks you if your interested in therapy.

Personally I can see Belphie being in therapy for his anger and his grief still over Lilith.

Thus I feel like he’d pitch the idea to you.

If you don’t want to go, he understands. It’s not for everyone, and lots of people have had bad experiences.

Then he simply does what he’s been doing, helping calm you down when you need it.

He’s a great listener and will often pull you into his bed and let you curl into him as you both close your eyes, you listening to his heart and getting sleepy as you tell him all about what’s making you nervous until you forget and your words slur and you sleep.

Your anxiety makes you develop insomnia? He has bottles of melatonin babes.

Belphie is honestly the most apt of the brothers and has the most tips and tricks that not even you knew when it comes to helping with anxiety.

He makes sure you’re comfortable at all times when you’re with him, and won’t let any dark thoughts plague your mind as long as he’s here!

“Come lay down with me. The blanket is soft and we’ll work on breathing and focusing on physical feeling rather than emotion. Kay’?”

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accio-victuuri · 8 months

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All the Things I loved about “One and Only” : My review of Yibo’s new movie 🎞️

Alas, I was able to watch 1 out of the 3 films Yibo released this year. It’s also the one I’ve been looking forward to, because he will be dancing and as a fan of SDC, I wanted to see familiar faces too.

The movie is STUNNING. The visual is something else. I enjoyed how colorful it is. How real. The empty train Shuo Shuo rides, the market, his home and the restaurant below etc. Even if this was a movie, it felt to me like I know these places. I really have to hand it to Dapeng on this one! He did really well! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 I remember one of the first reviews I’ve read about it is how it can compete with international films because of it’s quality — and they’re right!

Props to the cinematography ( Zhong Rui & Qian Tiantian ) and the Editing (Tu Yiran & Zhang Yibo) THE EDITING!!!!! It may be headache inducing for some because of the close ups and movement, but i loved it! I mentioned “colors” and I think the clothes contributed to that too and since I’ve read Zhao Yige’s process on it, I appreciated it even more.

Moving on the things I loved, let me list 8. 🤍 ( this is in no particular order )

1. It is funny without trying too hard. When you think of comedy, it’s almost always characters are deliberately given no choice but to be in a comedic situation. This is not one of those. It’s effortless. It also helps that some characters, like Dong Erlang, are naturally funny. He doesn’t have to do anything. Lol. I also find myself laughing with them, and not at them, which is the kind of comedy i like.

2. Every character is interesting. It’s hard to make main characters feel like someone the audience can relate to or be one they wanna get to know more. All the more, the minor characters and this movie nails it. I found myself wanting to know more about Shuo Shuo’s uncle and if he was able to overcome his crippling anxiety of meeting new people and going out. What happened to Kevin’s assistant/translator lol I was laughing so much watching his struggle to act as translators to the foreign dancers 😂😂😂. Shuo Shuo’s performing troupe. The story of his parents. The film is not only about Chen Shuo or Ding Lei. It’s their lives and the people in it.

3. It portrayed the struggles we experience in life without being too melodramatic. Critics have said that Dapeng’s movies focus more on showing the lives of the “little people” and what it’s like. He thrives on telling their stories and I have to agree on that. Ding Lei said that Shuo Shuo’s life could be a melodrama and maybe it is for some, but to those who have experienced life as it is, you could say that this is the reality. There is no magic solution. Shuo Shuo had to leave E-mark, Ding Lei and the team had to give up their “studio” and it’s comfort to be free, Patrick had to leave the team and Luffy is retiring etc. It was more than a movie about Dancing.

4. The Music is amazing! From key moments to the actual battles. The song choices were perfect. 🤍 Even when there was no conventional music playing, like that final battle and Shuo Shuo had to dance while the audience gave him a beat. Peng Fei did a great job with this!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

5. SDC personalities making an appearance. Oh! One of the reasons I loved this is the familiar faces. Knowing that the film was done alongside SDC 5 and they had to move to Hangzhou to make it work. It definitely paid off cause the film is Gorgeous. You can tell that everyone pulled their weight to make this happen. I appreciated seeing Yangkai as a judge in the national competition. I’m not familiar with MonkeyZ prior to him being in this film, but seeing him, well, congratulations on making the National Team in real life. JrTaco & David who have been Yibo’s friends even before they did SDC with him. AAAANNNDDD ROCHKA! My personal favorite. The apple of my eye. Seeing him shine in the final battle rounds 😍😍😍😍

6. The quirky moments. The characters and their own quirks added flavor to them and the story. Especially Ding Lei and his love for the TV drama Empress in the Palace or how he wears diapers 😂

7. WANG YIBO WAS SO FREAKIN HANDSOME IN THIS FILM AND IT NEEDS IT’S OWN ENTRY.

For someone who watched a lot of videos of him as Chen Shuo from actual scenes + behind the scenes. saw the photos. Edited a couple of those videos and photos — I knew Shuo Shuo is exceptional. But that didn’t prepare me at all for the full effect of seeing him in the big screen. I have to admit for the first few minutes of his scenes I wanted to hit pause so I can take a moment — I can’t tho cause I’m in a Cinema. 😂😂😂 HE IS BEAUTIFUL. This is the Yibo that they had to make an effort to look “scruffy” and give him ordinary clothes. The result? Still the most gorgeous human being. Tho in the movie, he is still supposed to look “handsome” but it’s his mom who is the only one who says it. So it gives you the impression that it’s just like how moms think their kids are the most handsome. BUT NO. NO. It’s dangerous how handsome he is in this film 😭

That scene when he falls down spinning when the train stops — and he looks at the girl apologetically? Dude! How??????? How???? Tell me!!!! SO BEAUTIFUL 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

8. WANG YIBO as Chen Shuo. The reason why I watched this movie in the first place. He played the role so well. He is such a lovable character and as a viewer, I can’t help but root for him. I loved the scenes where he was just living his life — trying to balance his responsibilities and reaching his dreams. The dance sequences. How he cried after that Star Dance (?) performance! It was so raw! It felt like he was just too overwhelmed with everything that he became emotional. Best Actor Wang Yibo!!!! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 That’s what I always loved about him as an actor. He doesn’t have to exaggerate. He is a natural. You watch him and see a real person and not a caricature. What else? His little smiles. How he interacts with other characters are good too, especially his Mom. I want a son like Shuo Shuo please. such a good boy! 😌😌😌

I’m so thankful to meet Yibo as Chen Shuo. This character and the movie is truly a gift to everyone who watches it. 🤍

I hope Shuo Shuo continues to live well, in the unreleased easter egg, it was revealed that he was accepted to the National Team. I wish him all the best!

-END.

#personal #wang yibo #one and only movie #i hope this becomes available on netflix cause it’s gonna be my comfort movie #and so casual viewers will get to enjoy it ^^

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sashi-ya · 1 year

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𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖇𝖊𝖓𝖊𝖆𝖙𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖆𝖗𝖒𝖔𝖗 (part 2) +18. Vinsmoke Ichiji x F!reader

✦ part 1: Red Roses (both parts can be read independently) ✦ requested by @portgasdash for the free requests ➜ I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. You asked me to keep the idea in mind for the next time requests are open and I did. A continuation (of sorts) of your awesome roses fic with ichiji and a fem reader who he needed to get pregnant and ended so sweetly. They succeeded and Ichiji is now a protective dad(or soon to be dad) to reader and very much likes the changes their body have gone through cause of the pregnancy. specifically what their chest can do. Kinks: pregnancy and lactation ➜ Yes!! here it is, finally! I hope you enjoy my love! ♡ ✦ tw: pregnancy. breastfeeding. vag sex. ichiji being a little more human the more time it passes. based on the fact that I do believe he has feelings like Sanji and Reiju (my theory). ✦ wc: 1.9k

“So? What’s the result?” the red-haired demon asks, waiting with his back pressed against the door of the bathroom door.

“I can’t make it go faster, it’s still processing Ichiji-sama” you inform, sitting on the toilet with a little stick in your hand. Your leg bounces, you are way more anxious than he is. You never thought of wanting a baby from him, and much less this fast, but there you are wishing for the two little stripes to appear.

Both have decided to keep it in between you two; before even letting Judge and his scientists run the pertinent tests. A cheap test he bought during a mission, nothing sophisticated but yet enough to know.

At least three weeks have passed since he had been able to really enjoy sex for the first time, and just to be sure you get pregnant you two -secretly- kept having hot, hot encounters. Or maybe it was because your bodies were yearning for the other, burning in passion and need after tasting the honeys of a real connection.

Finally, the soft pink stains on the little strip appear. Yes. One… two. There are two. You check again. And again. And then once more.

Positive. Ichiji, you are gonna be a father.

“Uh… Ichiji-sama?” you call him. You can sense his anxiety from the outside the bathroom. He can’t wait for you to tell him; it’s been enough chivalry for him to let you take the test alone until the result came up.

“WHAT?” he opens the door, hitting it against the wall. “Sorry” he apologizes, because with you he is able to read every piece of your feelings.

You nod, a subtle smile adorning your ruby lips. “Y-yes…” you whisper, looking down at your fidgeting hands and then up to his blue eyes that widen in amazement. He doesn’t look anymore like the severe prince, but rather like a child knowing he is going to Disneyland.

“Am- gonna- Father?” he stutters. For the first time, the perfect prince lacks words to express himself.

“Yes… congrats, future King… a prince is coming ~” you chime, still too shy to be able to move a single muscle.

It was clear to him, to you, that his attempt had been successful. However, Ichiji felt more than pride… he felt joy, something he thought he would never, ever, would feel. It wasn’t just the fact that Judge would be proud of him, it was him sharing something with that woman right before his eyes… she, with the red roses and her equally red lips had turned his world upside down… or maybe, the other way around, on a spiral that lend him to experience love.

As the astonishment leaves his mind, he runs to hug you. “I’m… you made me a father!!” he happily chimes, ripping a smile and some tears from your eyes. He does not feel like the usual cold prince, he looks like a new man. A sweet, loving man.

Ichiji lifts you up in his arms, he stays silent for some minutes. His beam, however, remains everlasting on his juicy lips. You have never seen what you are seeing now; his eyes narrow because of his cheeks coming so high as he smiles so big.

“Come on, we need to celebrate… I- what do you say when you uhm really appreciate someone?” he asks, seriously and blushed. “Uh… you- mean… love?” you say, still amazed at him.

“Yes…? That thing…” he swallows; for the first time you see his eyes looking down.

You chose to stay silent, it’s enough for him. And not to mention how much it means to you. You weren’t sure if you were in love with him, or just spellbound by lust. But things become clearer the moment you kissed so soft his lips… you loved him too.

And what started as an agreement to help him procreate, then… weirdly enough, was just the start of something new. Of something that grew as much as your belly did…

Fast-forward to the last weeks of your pregnancy…

“But, Ichiji-sama, (Name)-sama asked us to bring her something to eat” “AND I WILL TAKE IT MY SELF. IF YOU HAVE POISONED THE FOOD I’LL DIE TOO, SO SPEAK NOW OR DIE”

The prince brings himself food for you. You have been moved -by his own request, and against Judge orders- to his room. Now, you are his princess. As the future mother of the someday next King of Germa, you should be treated like royalty and protected like nothing in this world. Ichiji made sure, and still does, that you are more than comfortable with your life in the palace.

“Ichiji, babe…I could hear your screams from the hall. Is everything ok?” you ask, sitting in bed with your hands resting on your belly but a little bit uncomfortable.

“I told them a hundred times, everything you eat I should taste it first. What’s wrong with you? Are you feeling ok?” he asks, leaving the silver platter with delicacies on it to the side.

You nod with your head; bodies change during pregnancy, and you think is normal to feel everything swollen and bloated. Including your breasts. “Yes, dear prince. It’s just that my breasts feel swollen but it’s normal. They are getting ready for the baby” you tell him, inspecting without caring for his growing smirk, the food that he brought.

He comes closer and kisses his lips; it takes your breath away. He has always managed to make you feel this way, pregnant and not pregnant.

“What?” you ask, as he keeps smiling with a sadist grin. “I’ve read that the father can help with the swelling and the pain…” he murmurs, taking his pointy nose to your cleavage. He nuzzles there, taking care of not hurting your belly but still placing his huge hands on top of it.

You narrow your eyes. What did he mean with “helping with the swelling and pain”?

“You know…I was so scared of… touching you…” he purrs, kissing your right breast. “Baby, can you share mommy with daddy for now? I’ll be gentle, I promise” he asks right at your belly, placing another kiss on top of it.

You giggle. He is being sweeter than ever, but even if so, a dark aura of lustful intentions surrounds him. He pulls down the cleavage of your blouse. “Can I make you feel better…?” he asks. When did Ichiji Vinsmoke ever asked for permission?

“I don’t know what you are planning… but, go ahead” you murmur, letting him do. He might be a murderous machine but when it comes to your safety he is obsessed. You are sure he won’t hurt you in any way.

His pale, yet juicy lips approach so slow the most sensitive parts of your breasts. His hand, squeeze softly on the side of one of them. He doesn’t provoke any pain; he gives you a caress -even if he didn’t know the term-.

You flinch, just a little. And soon you understand, exactly, what he is intending to do. You were sure milk couldn’t be produce before having the baby but turns out you were wrong. Semi-transparent milky drops fill your lover’s mouth. It’s just a little, but the moment the sweet taste of it touches Ichiji’s tongue he moans, louder than ever before.

“I- Ichiji…” you whisper, taking slowly your palm to the crown of his head. He keeps sucking, as if, the drops that were feeding him were essential for his life. The pressure you were feeling on your breasts slowly goes away, and it goes the same way down to your core.

You brush his red hair back, taking a rather motherly look, caring, and loving to his weakness showing. Because perhaps, he needed this, so deep inside of him. The prince lets his guard down, he allows himself to look less strong, vulnerable also, while attached to your chest.

“I… you are delicious” he barely mumbles before going back to suck and devour the other nipple.

“Am I, my prince? Keep going, do it as much as you please” you whine, pushing his head against your chest. You make him grunt; you make him go harder. He bites, but it doesn’t hurt. The sharp nibbling can only make you more aroused.

And Ichiji wants more, he rips off your blouse with such force it startles you. He has never shown you such strength. “I’m sorry, but I need you naked. I promise I will go slower” he assures you, breathing so hastily. Arousal is consuming his brain, not even his peaceful mind can stop him.

Your eyes soften. “Make love to me, yes?” you dare to ask. You have never called sex this way with him. And frankly you were scared… Visnmoke Ichiji making love to a woman?

He exhales, letting the excess arousal out his mind for some seconds. He pulls down, delicately and carefully your pants and spreads your legs so that you could rest them on top of his thighs as he kneels in between them. “I will… of course I will make love to you. Are you comfortable this way?” he asks. It’s been a while since he has touched your body. Whenever your belly grew larger, he stopped approaching you like during endless nights of the first months. You really thought of him not being attracted; but you were wrong. It was how much he was attracted to the changes of your body that he was scared of hurting your baby and you.

But he can’t stop himself no more. And frankly, you can’t either.

“I am more than comfortable, daddy” you murmur, mesmerized at such change in attitude… after all, Ichiji has always been a sweet man… you only had to have the power to break such hard exoskeleton…

He lowers his pants, just enough to expose a hard, desperate, so needy sex. “I was desperate for this… all this months…” he says, showing you that he didn’t need, nor he didn’t resort to other women that wasn’t you.

You receive him in your arms, and while he slides in slow motion inside you he nests his head in your chest. Sexy, loving thrusts fill your void while you kiss his forehead. He attaches himself again to your nipples, sucking so deliciously while pumps in and on out of you.

Slowly, and surely. Steadily, and constantly. His breath warming your saliva coated breasts, the tiny semi white drop running from the commissure of his mouth, the way you both spasm… ecstasy, rapture. Exploding in orgasmic kisses, hastily breathing, filling you up, coming so gloriously…

“Are you ok? Does anything hurt? You want me to bring the doctor?” he asks, as he rests with his cheek squeezed against your belly.

“I’m totally fine. You took care of me like anybody could have. Thank you so much” you whisper, tracing circles with your palm on his bruised back. He had been trying to get a lot stronger to protect his coming child, you can tell.

“I’m glad I didn’t hurt you… is your swelling better?” he inquires, shyly. His cheeks becoming almost as red as his hair. Who would have known a Vinsmoke prince is able to blush that way?

You smile. Your swelling is indeed better, you feel a lot more relaxed… because you have chosen the right daddy…

A heartless prince they say, not for you, of course. But underneath that strong armor, his heart all, belongs to you ~

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smutracha · 10 months

Text

Volume XI

rewind <3 fast forward

Mafia!SKZ Yandere!SKZ Afab!reader Poly!SKZ

tw: violence, blood, guns, knives, nicotine, drugging, alcohol, ptsd, sexual harrasment, mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, depictions of death and gore

smut warnings: anal, oral(f), sex toys, filming, pet play, degradation, praise, squirting, shower sex

Monday – Minho

Waking up with Minho was always so pleasant, he would softly wake you up with a gentle voice and a light hand rubbing your back until you looked into his eyes and he could kiss you. He never said good morning, he would just kiss you before he climbed out of bed and piggybacked you into the kitchen where he would sit you down at one of the barstools so you could watch him cook. He’d always make you something extra when you woke up with him.

Partially to show his affection without having to say anything at all. Partially because it meant that you could take your pills and be fully functioning by the time the rest of the boys joined the two of you. Today it was apple and cinnamon oats, something he noticed you particularly enjoyed.

As you finally started coming to your senses, Chan walked into the kitchen in nothing but gym shorts. Hi princess, hi Lino. What’s breakfast today?” “I got oats and veggie sausage and mushrooms and an egg.” “Ooh the oats look yum.”

Minho went to grab a bowl for Chan to have what was left. “Mm, she’ll need the energy.” “Oh yeah, good luck little princess, he’s a bit of a sadist. And a major ass man.”

After breakfast, Minho led you to the shower where he washed your body with gentle flicks at your nipples every so often but when he decided he couldn’t handle just looking anymore, his mouth followed. His lips sucking and biting and gently teasing you had you whining for more. “Ask properly, little kitty.” “Please give me more, need more.” “Master, that’s what you will call me.” “Master, please give me more.” “Good kitten.” He was on his knees before you in no time, hooking a leg over his shoulder so that your wet, puffy folds were right in front of his eyes. “So wet already kitty.” “All because of master.”

He slid his tongue gently over your slit, repeating the process again and again. Tongue starting lower, every time. And like that he sat there, lapping at your ass, while his fingers toyed gently at your clit. The feeling sending you to a newfound bliss. “Master, please.” ”Please what, kitty?” “Fingers please, master.” “Where? Where do you want your master’s fingers?” “In my…” you were too shy and ashamed of yourself to even say the word. “Where, kitty? Could it be here?” he says poking gently at the hole his tongue had been so focused on just before. “Say it, kitty. Say it for your owner.” “Please put your fingers in my ass, master.” it was a shy whisper. “Say it properly, dumb kitten.” “Please finger my ass, master.” “Good kitty.”

“Here you go.” He snickered, plunging a finger inside, the feeling making you cum immediately. It was a whole new world of pleasure. “Oh poor kitten. My dumb little anal whore kitty. Did you cum from just that? Perfect.”

He shut off the shower, quickly wrapping you in a fluffy towel before picking you up and taking you to his personal room. “On the bed, all fours.” You got into the position he wanted, facing the headboard. You couldn’t see as he rummaged behind you but soon enough he came over to sit next to you. He set down a plush cat tailed butt plug, some lube and a dildo. “This dildo is special, my pet. Wanna know why?” you nod with large eyes staring at the blue cock. It was long and curved and an average girth. It had you drooling already, “Drooling over your master’s cock already? Dumb whore, this dildo is special cause it’s modelled after me. We got these so that you could have us when we aren’t able to help you. But look how handy they are.”

He wandered back to where he was and came back holding a pair of cat ears and a collar with a bell. Black and pink. it was all so co-ordinated. He adorned you with the items as he settled his hand roughly on your throat, digging the leather of your baby pink collar into your neck. “You’re gonna suck on this cock while daddy gets you used to your new tail, kitten.”

He placed the fake cock on the headboard for you to suck and drool on. After settling in behind you he pumped some lube onto your sensitive hole. The sudden cold making you jerk forward in shock but the second you felt his fingers rubbing over it, you moaned around the beautiful dildo in your mouth. “Good girl. Just relax.”

But that’s as far as his sweetness went it seemed. Without any warning, he had two fingers pumping into your ass, stretching you open before he spat into it. A wave of cum spilling from your pussy. “Oh dumb kitty, you must love this. God you’re just so perfect, can’t wait to fuck you.” You were already cock drunk; his words hardly even registered. Immediately after his last word he added another finger, landing a harsh slap to your clit to wake you up, he laid out an instruction “From now on, you only cum when I allow you to cum.” You moaned out an agreement around his fake dick. He stretched and pumped and fucked your ass into oblivion with his fingers.

He pulled his fingers out after some time. You were so far gone that you hadn’t noticed the butt plug disappearing from beside you. The cold push of metal against your ass causing a shrill shriek to sound in your chest. But the sound was muffled, and he scoffed at how pathetic you were. He pulled your hair to bring you off of the dildo, “Wanna hear you.” the plug pushed halfway in as you moaned at the sensation. Then it was pulled back, he kept half-fucking you with the plug. He lowered his head and his lips wrapped around your clit, making you scream in pleasure. You could feel yourself getting closer and closer. “Master, master please. Need to cum, master. Master, wanna cum. M good kitty, cum.” You were a babbling, drool covered mess as he popped his lips off of your clit and yelled “Cum!” before shoving the plug fully inside of you. You squirted on his chest, colours dancing in your vision as you let the orgasm wash over you. “God kitty, might need to shower again. Let’s get you cleaned up.” He rushed off to get a cloth to wipe you down, before doing the same for himself. “Come on, let’s get you some cuddles. What do you need?” “Wanna watch Daria and want water and sweets.”

He'd dressed you in a tiny skirt that barely covered your plump ass, allowing the tail to be seen perfectly. As well as one of his comfy knit sweaters. “Oh my god, you’re so cute my little kitten.” You stopped by the kitchen on your way to the screening room. Turns out the boys had gathered there for lunch.

“Oh, oh my. That’s-“ “Hot” “Did anyone else just nut too?” “Ew” “Man you ruined it” “Yeah”

“Okay if you could stop being weird, maybe you could come join us for aftercare.” “How is it aftercare when my little Pixie’s ass is stuffed like that, she’s still new.” “New? Hah.” He scoffed leading you out of the room while the rest followed. “she came thrice, just from me playing with her ass. She’s just an anal kitty now.” You blushed as he fawned over you and how happy you were making him, if that wasn’t enough, the feeling of being so full and the plug moving with every step had you practically dripping.

“Gonna have to do something bout the mess she’s making.” Hyunjin adds while watching your slick thighs rub and jiggle with every step. “That reminds me, I gotta have my sheets cleaned.” You reached the room, and he led you to sit in his lap while he instructed I.N what to put on for you. Sitting in his lap only pushed the plug further into you, making a moan spill from you. The pleasure brought tears to your eyes. “Holy shit, that’s hot.” “We’re only halfway through the training kitten, you’re already so broken.” You mewled at his hands running up your sides as his lips found purchase on your neck. He broke away as the intro song started. 5 episodes later, he decided it was time to finish his training on you.

“Remember baby, cum when I say so.” You were on the bed once again, set in what he told you is called ‘humble’ position. You were to put your ass on display while your back arched as you rested with your arms stretched out before you. He tugged lightly at your tail. Sending a shiver through your body and making you mewl loudly while he started pulling the plug out. You felt the way your aching hole stayed open, he groaned at the sight. “God, baby. At this rate m gonna lose my mind. You’re really made for me, aren’t you. I need to have this ass.” “Master, m yours. All yours, please fuck me. Need master.” “Fuck kitty, you’re making this so hard. I’ll give you my cock soon enough. For now, you’ll have to take a copy.” He rounded you to stroke your cheek gently while his fingers pumped your puckering hole. “is that ok, kitten?” “Yes master.” “So good for your owner, here let me lube you up.” He went to look at your ass again. You felt his spit land on and mostly in your ass just as you heard the sound. Your hips bucked backwards at the degrading action. God he really had you a mess so soon. “And to think you were so innocent, so unbroken only a few hours ago. What happened, pixie?” You could only whimper in shame at his degradation, what was more is that you loved every second of it. “Did your owner do this, baby? Did I really turn you into a cock-dumb bitch?” “Yes, master.” “Well then, let’s give you more. Let’s really break you.” He suddenly shoved the dildo into you. The feeling was amazing. The way you felt every ridge, the subtle curve and the head of it brushing your wall with every thrust. You were gone, drooling and whining. Not a single thought in your head. He stopped for a second, the pause making you open your lust blown eyes, only to find his phone set in front of your face. “I wanna show the boys just how pretty you are, how good you are. And all this just for a plastic cock, whore.” He went back to viciously fucking you with his dildo. “Who owns you baby?” You could only whimper and whine in response. His thrusts only became more volet. “Answer me you cock-hungry slut.” You were screaming with the cruelty of his actions, the pleasure overwhelming every cell. “You own me, master!” You screamed out. “Cum for your owner. Cum for me kitty!” And like that you blacked out in bliss. White flashes bursting behind your eyelids as you squirted all over his arm.

“So good, baby. So good.” He gently rubbed your back, pulling you up into his arms as he picked you up. He grabbed his phone too before carrying you into the bathroom. He sat you on the bathmat. “Gonna run us a bath ok, angel?” He opened the faucet, while the tub filled he held you gently. “You did so good baby, so good.” Soft kisses peppered your face as you giggled in spite of the drowsy state you were in. He stripped himself of his clothes and you of your ears and collar.

As you both settled into the tub he laid you on his shoulder. “It’s ok baby, go to sleep.”

You were wakened as the sun settled over the horizon, to a gentle voice. Met with Minho’s soft smile, he told you it was time for supper. “Come, I’ll carry you.” And indeed, he did. The boys sat chatting amongst themselves as you entered the kitchen, being brought to a seat. Only your food was left at the table. Minho placed you on his lap so that he could feed you while the boys watched. Their soft smiles making you feel warm. “Why you all staring?” “Just heard some screams earlier. You have fun with Minho, little fairy?” Hyunjin asked you.

They all laughed at the blush you tried to hide in your hands. “You must be a bit tired huh, baby? Who you cuddling tonight?” “Want Seungie” “Me? Really? I must be the luckiest guy in the world.” “Minho just had her ass dude; I think that trumps cuddles.” “I haven’t had her ass till I’m actually fucking her full of my cum.” An unanticipated moan filled the room as you felt the wetness rush to your pussy. “Wow she really is cock-hungry for her master, huh?” Changbin chuckles at your state. “Oh my god, you showed them that?!” “I said I would little kitty. By the way, they lost their minds. I’ve never seen Felix so desperate before in my life.” “She doesn’t need to know, Minho.” “Look at you, but I couldn’t get a coherent word out of you while you lost yourself on my cock. All of that from one clip of your precious pixie taking it up her ass. My pretty Lixie.” “Hyune, you know that’s not fair; you really know how to use me.”

“Seungie, sleep?” You found yourself drifting off even as the boys teased and argued about their sexual habits and performance. “Come little pup. Let’s go.”

#skz ot8 #yandere skz #poly!skz #skz mafia #stray kids x you #stray kids #stray kids mafia au #mafia!skz #stray kids smut #stray kids yandere

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