#and accused them of something that's related to their years of trauma

[ghcstcd]

Omega lounging like a big cat. stretched out. big yawns. purring like a motor. full ceecher...

#the ghost breakdancing beside you #vent in tags #look I may have been fucked up over everything #like legit triggered by the situation of being called what I was because I chose design one character (omega) as I did #but no. I love him. I'm not changing him. Especially because those people are hopefully not following now #if they are following still then. Well. Congrats? You triggered a traumatized mentally ill person who you know nothing about #and accused them of something that's related to their years of trauma #so cool...congrats #I bounce back a little stronger each time

[moghedien]

I’m like sooo curious about the Aylin and Isobel after all this because we know they’re going help Selunite enclaves or whatever and I don’t think they’re ever gonna turn away from Selune really but I do wonder if there’s like a twinge of something about their relationship with the goddess now

because again I don’t think they’re gonna turn from her, but they both have their issues and trauma now. Aylin’s is a bit more obvious but I can’t stop thinking about how the game basically tells you that Isobel came back wrong and then never acknowledges that again.

Obviously she didn’t come back as wrong as some of her kin, but the first time we see her she seems ill with something. You can kinda dismiss that as being related to the Shadow curse without full context. Even if you read her diary, you can kinda dismiss it until you understand she’s Ketheric’s dead daughter.

Her diary:

Like she clearly isnt being spurned by Selune completely as she still has cleric magic and can still protect Last Light, but the phrase “there are some things she would never accept in her devoted” is so ominous. Isobel clearly knows that Selune is having some problem with her and the fact that the problem isn’t as clear as being denied her magic makes it even more ominous. If not that, then what is happening that makes this clear to her?

Then there’s Aylin, who is literally the daughter of Selune, who was sent by her mother to the Thorms. And obviously there isn’t any regret there because of Isobel, but then the Isobel dies under vague circumstances that may or may not be Shar related based on cut content. Then the people that Selune sent Aylin to protect cage her and torture her and use her as a lab rat and organ donor and ritual sacrifice over and over again for the next 100 years.

Aylin was supposed to be an envoy of her mother and ended up being the instrument in which Shar made weapon after weapon. She’s unwillingly spreading the darkness she’s against and all because Selune sent her to these people. Literally 100 years where all she can do is die again and again until she can convince one Sharran to listen to her and not just kill her again.

And like, you can also take into account the possibility that Aylin is an oathbreaker now. I don’t personally buy the theory but I know a lot of people do suspect that her reaction to killing Lorrokan was due to it breaking her oath. I think it’s more likely a trauma response but we can look at this either way.

Because killing Lorrokan should have been the righteous move. He was trying to use and defile her, one of Selune’s children, for his own petty reasons. He was going to commit the same sins as Ketheric. And it wasn’t like Aylin was the only potential victim of him. We know he hurt Rolan, and no doubt many others. What would a man like that do with immortality?

But then killing him just makes her feel empty? She protected herself. Protected Selune’s sword and anyone else that might have been suffering under him. And it doesn’t fill her with the same righteous ecstasy that it should. Suddenly being the righteous paladin doesn’t feel good, it just feels empty.

And if you believe that it did break her oath, then what? She’s being punished by Selune for defending herself and others? She stopped Selune’s envoy from being used in the same profane ritual she just escaped from and gets rejected and punished for that? She’s the one accused of violating Selune?

Again, I don’t personally think the reaction was caused by breaking her oath, but I think it’s a compelling angle to look at, at least.

And all of this to say that again, I don’t think either of them are going to turn against Selune and I don’t think they have a very strong reason to. But I do wonder how their relationship with her has changed in the last 100 years while Aylin was being forced to die for Shar over and over again and Isobel was forced to live by Mrykul, completely unprotected by the moonmaiden they had both been absolutely devoted to.

I just wonder what was going through their heads when they talked to Shadowheart about her past and the fact that she has a choice now, that Selune would take her back after a life time of Sharran indoctrination and crimes committed in her name. Now she has a choice. I wonder if in that moment, there wasn’t even the smallest bit of bitterness toward Selune on their part.

#dame aylin #isobel thorm #shadowheart #bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[carriagelamp]

A few days late, but I'm lazy...

My favourite books that I read during 2023!

I got really lucky this year, I read some ridiculously good books, to the point that I had a really hard time narrowing them down. And I cheated on a few and bunched them up so I wouldn't have to choose 🙃

I did more detailed assessments of the books in my month reviews, but for anyone that's interested in something I read, here's a quick description:

Annie: An Old-Fashioned Story by Thomas Meehan -- A novelization of the Little Orphan Annie story, close related to the film musical including references to the songs. A charming read that captures the enjoyment of the film but adds a lot more details into the struggles and hardships Annie would have gone through during life on her own in the Depression.

Ballet Shoes by Noel Streatfeild -- Three girls from a poor family in London end up being welcomed to a ballet academy where they have the opportunity to learn not only how to dance, but to begin attending performances that let them earn money for their family. Follows the heart warming adventures of sisters with a nice balance of financial hardship and obligations during the Depression.

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle -- A possession horror based around religious trauma and sexual identity. Fantastic prose and genuinely chilling at points without ever feeling hopeless. Here the demons that start stalking people in this God-fearing Montana town are both metaphorical and literal.

A Christmas Story by Jean Shepherd -- A collection of radio stories that follow the childhood misadventures of Ralphie; these stories would go to make up the classic film A Christmas Story, and Shepherd's hilarious, clever prose makes it a very fun read whether you know the film or not.

Doctor Who: Scratchman by Tom Baker -- I actually read a number of pretty good Doctor Who novels this year (13 Doctors 13 Stories, Time Lord Fairytales, Silhouette) and even a Torchwood one (Skypoint) but Scratchman was probably my favourite of the lot. The Fourth Doctor, Sarah, and Harry find themselvese in a horror adventures as they try to defend a host of villagers against an invading force of evil, skeletal scarecrows that are attempting to infect the humans around them.

Dogsbody by Diana Wynne Jones -- The star Sirius is accused of killing another luminary and losing a powerful instrument called a Zoi. His sentence for this crime is to be stripped of his powers and cast down to earth, to spend one lifetime living in a humble, mortal form - that of a true dog. If he can survive and find the Zoi within that lifetime, he will be welcomed back to the cosmos.

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire -- A novella that explores the rehabilitation of children who had been chosen, who found a doorway and stepped into another, strange world. Adventures done, they now need to acclimatize themselves to living in the rigid confines of the real world.

Grandpa's Great Escape by David Walliams -- A hilarious and surprisingly heart-warming story about a boy and his grandfather who was a flying ace during the war. With his mind beginning to fail him, the grandfather is sent to live at a sinister and definitely evil old folks' home. Only Jack can save him.

Hazel's Shadow by Nicole MacCarron -- Hazel has always been plagued by strange visions - the ability to see and speak to ghosts, as well as the knowledge of a strange, nameless horror living in her grandmother's house. Things come to a head though, when a sudden, zombie-like illness explodes through her town leaving only a few left alive, too many ghosts to count, enemies at every turn, and the shadow waiting for them.

Legends & Lattes by Travis Baldree -- (as well as it's sequel that came out later in the year, Bookshops & Bonedust). This was such a pleasant, low-stakes, domestic fantasy about Viv, an orcish ex-mercenary who has decided she's tired of fighting and would rather settle down and open a coffeeshop. One of the sticking points being, of course, that no one knows what coffee is.

Love Beyond Body, Space & Time by assorted authors, anthology -- An Indigenous queer sci-fi anthology with a really excellent collection of stories, including an author I already knew and loved! The stories explore a wide range of gender, sexuality, magic, machines, and ways of being, I highly recommend picking it up!

A Marvellous Light by Freya Marske -- Robin, a young baronet, thought he was being shunted into the most out of the way and miserable public servant position imaginable. He expected things to be tedious but necessary. He did not expect to suddenly learn that magic is real and to be tangled in its machinations in a potentially lethal way.

(MDZS) Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu -- Rejoice, because the feared Yiling Patriarch, the necromancer terror who slaughtered thousands, is dead! And has been dead the past decade. And is now very, very confused to wake up in a new body that isn't his, in a room he's never seen before, and to be thrust into the middle of a murder mystery where everyone would want him dead if they were to learn his real identity.

Moominland Midwinter by Tove Jansson -- Moomins hibernate through the winter, that's how it has always been for them. So when young Moomintroll wakes and finds the rest of his family still fast asleep, he's left feeling lost and isolated in this new, strange, snow covered world beyond his door.

A Psalm for the Wild-Built by Becky Chambers -- (and its sequel A Prayer for the Crown-Shy) A very gentle, compassionate sci-fi novel that explores a world humans have created post-climate-crisis. Life is different, the past distant, and a young tea monk never expected to run into an actual robot, who had so long ago left humanity to live their own secluded life in the wilds. Now they're both struggling to answer the question "What do humans need?"

The Radium Girls by Kate Moore -- (and Kate Moore's other book The Woman They Could Not Silence) The Radium Girls is a narrative non-fiction book that looks at the lives of the girls who were paid to paint luminous watch dials using radium paint. It explores the horror, exploitation, and suffering that came from work place negligence and the world's gradual learning about what exactly radium can do.

Red, White & Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston -- Presidential son and British prince are forced together for the sake of publicity - to prove that they don't actual hate each other and aren't going to cause a diplomatic incident. They cause a whole new and exciting diplomatic incident by falling in love! Do not read this for the politics, but it did end up being way way better than I expected, this author creates quite compelling characters.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett -- Sour, spoiled, and ill Mary is sent to live with her distant uncle on the Yorkshire moors. Set to be as contrary and unhappy as possible, little by little Mary begins to come out of her shell as she experiences nature, play, and love for perhaps the first time in her life.

System Collapse by Martha Wells -- Newest Murderbot book!! Murderbot, ART's crew, and the humans from Preservation are doing their best to defend the colonists on a plant that's cursed with a strange, alien plague from being consumed by the more immediate threat of corporate slavery. Something, however, seems to be wrong with Murderbot and its worried that if it can't fix the problem soon, it may cost its humans their lives.

(TGCF) Heaven Official's Blessing by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu -- Xie Lian is a god. Was a good. He has ascended to godhood twice, and been banished back to earth twice. Once a favour among the gods, he is now a laughing stock, a scrap-collecting god who has been forgotten by almost everyone. So it is with some shock and exasperation to all involved when he ascends for a third time.

This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar & Max Gladstone -- A ridiculous poetic novella written through improbable letters that are written between two time travels on opposites sides of a time war. Seriously, this is probably the most beautiful book I read this year, go read it, the hype is justified.

Wave Me Goodbye by Jacqueline Wilson -- As World War Two rages, Shirley, like many children of the time, is sent from her home in London to be housed by a foster family in the country in order to avoid the Blitz. Put up with two boys in the strange, mostly empty Red House, Shirley has to find a new life for herself out in the country.

When The Angels Left The Old Country by Sacha Lamb -- Uriel the angel and Little Ash the demon find themselves drawn from their usual lives when a young girl from their shtetl goes missing after emigrating to America. Both with their own reasons for wanting to leave the old country, they set off on a sea voyage that will change everything for them.

Wind in the Willows by Kenneth Grahame -- The classic stories of Rat, Mole, and Toad. The story begins when Mole, venturing out of his little burrow, meets Rat and winds up living with him in his little home by the river rather than returning to his own, lonely, little hole. From there they have a variety of domestic adventures over the seasons, most notable being Toad's ill-fated obsession with motor cars.

#book review #book reviews #mdzs #tgcf #doctor who #diana wynne jones #when the angels left the old country #chuck tingle #camp damascus #this is how you lose the time war #wind in the willows #tom baker #murderbot #system collapse #moomin #moominland midwinter #tove jansson #radium girls #red white and royal blue #queer lit #canadian #canlit #legends & lattes #the secret garden #a marvellous light #annie #david walliams #a christmas story #dogsbody #ugh more than that but god help me if i try to tag them all

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

if reqs are alright rn, may I request a reader who has a hyper interest in psychology and behaviors, with arkhamverse dork squad? Like they raddle on about different psych facts that may come to mind with every day things or out of nowhere, and sometimes psychoanalyzes the boys without meaning to- I hope this is alright!

Psych Hyperfixative Reader w/ the Dork Squad (Arkhamverse flavor)

Absolutely alright! Very fun (and maybe a tad relatable, whoops). I wasn't sure if you wanted outright romantic, so I went more caring could go either way.

TW: Mentions of Jervis's mind control

Mad Hatter

- It's something you love and are interested in! He cares for you so therefore he's giving you full attention.

- You might get neuroscience facts back, even if they seem confusing the way Jervis explains them. He promises they relate! It is usually related, just hard to see unless you are also a neuroscientist.

- It's so funny to talk about why people do things, especially since he can make them do things! The psychology of the compliant.

- Be wary of analyzing him. When talking strictly about behaviors or mannerisms, hes likely to ooo and ah over your "expertise."

- "How clever! I do that all the time and I never noticed... how lucky am I to have you at my side forever!"

- If, though, you were to start psychoanalyzing him, there are a couple things that can happen. Keep in mind a lot of this is because he can be unpredictable.

- One is that he gets paranoid. Why are you saying things like that? This whole time have you been a spy for The Red Queen? He goes off on tangents/delusions that are unhealthy for his mindset.

- He laughs it off as you being a card "like Jon."

- He gets snippy or aggressive. Just what are you accusing him of...? He doesn't want to talk about the bad things he did. The horrible things he did...

- finally, he's in a more lucid period and seems anxious, remorseful, but trying to be supportive of your interest still.

Riddler

- The rambling gets a lot of "uh-huh" "oh interesting" because he wants you to feel sort of like you're being listened to, but doesn't want to put in effort when the conversation isn't about him or something he wants to talk about. It's your interest but... he's been around a lot of psychology over the years. Plus he gets it from Jon. The fact he's trying instead of telling you to fuck off is a big deal.

- "Congratulations on being more intelligent than my psychiatrist in Arkham. It's not a difficult feat, but it's still an accomplishment you should be proud of. Maybe."

- Has a love-hate relationship with being analyzed. Loves talking about himself, he could do that for hours. Hates having his vulnerable bits poked at. Ask him what fascinates him about making riddlerbots, not more nonsense about his father.

- Also be prepared to have those tables turned on you if you press too hard, even accidentally. He can make quite a few astute observations about people in a short time. Blunt verging on cruel. If you get upset, he'll stand by it but definitely feel like a dick.

Scarecrow

- He thinks the chatter is charming, actually. Reminds him of when he had students. You might be his favorite teacher's pet, though.

- Likely he'll respond back with his own facts or even relatable experiences from the Before. Before he was disgraced, before he lost his mind, before the mauling- When he was practicing.

- He's the one to realize any psychoanalysis by you is not intentional. At very first he was intent on showing you he could get into your mind better than you his-

- But you either apologize or he notes a rather... oblivious tone to the way you speak. Ah, it's not meant to be a dig or you trying to be coy.

- What he might do is try to redirect you a little. You know, the best way to get certain kinds of information from someone is x, y, and z as questions.

- Subtly, he'll do it back to see if you notice. Nothing too harsh or deep into any trauma, though he certainly could go there if he's feeling prickly.

- However, he does his best to realize this is a hyperfixation and not to get defensive if you accidentally hit a sore spot.

#arkham mad hatter #arkham scarecrow #arkham riddler #x reader #foxwriting

[not-so-secret-nerd]

Jae’s Writeblr (re) intro

Hello all! I can’t say this is necessarily an introduction as I’ve been on Tumblr for a LONG time, but I’ve never formally burst onto the writing scene outside of fandom, so here I am making that official introductory post!

ABOUT

I’m J.E. Glass (Jae is fine and preferred), a 30-something she/her lesbian author of dark/urban fantasy and paranormal romance with a heavy focus on female-centric and wlw stories. I’ve been writing since I was old enough to correctly hold a pencil, but I only just became published in April of this year with my Sapphic Beauty and the Beast retelling debut UNDERGROUNDER.

I work full time for City Municipalities and write in the free time, but I’m also an avid convention goer and cosplayer with my wife and partner of 16 years. You can find me over on TikTok (@jaeeglass) and Twitter (@JEGlass_). I love creating book trailers and doing nerdy/fandom related TikToks based on my current fixation...which happens to be Gideon the Ninth and Owl House, at the moment.  

My Main Projects

Something I love doing is creating worlds where all my stories can exist separately from one another while remaining under the same banner. I have five books in the works all taking place at different points in time in a society that walks in stride with our own while remaining hidden. I love blending the genres of urban and dark fantasy and focusing on queer female rep. Below is a list of all books both available and upcoming in chronological order.

BLOOD AND TINES (Adult dark fantasy, due to release in Spring/Summer of 2023):   In 1666, London burned and a family of Witches fled. In 1676, twin sisters find themselves trapped in opposing worlds. One pitted against hostile fae, and one facing down the Huntsmen who exterminate their kind. Survival for both will mean bloody sacrifice.

UNDERGROUNDER Book #1 (Adult paranormal romance available now): A Beauty left to die. A Beast dying to live. Two women collide in a time of crime and crisis that will either unite them in extraordinary ways or burn both their worlds to ash.

TOPSIDER Book #2 (Adult paranormal romance): Date to be determined

INSIDER Book #3 (Adult paranormal romance): Date to be determined

ETHER ROOTS (Adult urban fantasy): A Witch accused of faking her death is dragged back into the Community she fought to escape when her identity is uncovered by a human looking for the keys to resurrection, her ex-fiancée looking for answers, and the poltergeist of the boy she accidentally killed as a child.

Conclusion

I hope to interact with this thriving community more and get to know some of you! Please feel free to send me a DM, anon, or chat with me any time. Especially if you've read my work and want to scream at me for the trauma xD I grew up in fandom, so my love language is speaking with readers and flailing together.

In case you missed it, you can also follow me on:

TikTok: @jaeeglass

Twitter: @JEGlass_

#writeblr #writeblr intro #writerblr things #writers on tumblr #creative writing #original fiction #writing #lgbtq #lgbtq representation #Sapphic #lesfic #urban fantasy #dark fantasy #paranormal romance

[shurlycurly]

Some things I had to say about the article that propably anyone will read but I want to say them out loud (I added some thoughts, yes I keep thinking about it)

1. I knew about this case back in may 2022 and started to read all I can about the accusations. By that time I was not a huge fan, only know him because of CMBYN and SN and praised his performance. Up to this point, I think that what we read about the AirMail article is a confirmation of some things his fandom has already said during those years:

- The lack of proof and inconsistencies of his accusers and how stalker one of them was from day one.

- The fact that his ex was part of the smear campaign and how a destructive person she is.

2. It also confirmed something that was pretty obvious, although some people believed it was not true: the affair, the cheating

- Was he a cheater? Yes he was, did he fucked up the marriage? I believe so but I think a relationship is about two people too. Thus, we would never know 100% what happened behind the scene. My conclusion is that none of them was a saint in the relationship, and it was toxic.

- Does it make him a bad, horrible despicable person? I think what it makes him is more a terrible partner, a toxic one, considering his explanation in the article about his other relashionships.

3. In the article it also stated things that were shocking and actually sad for me.

- The attempt of drowning: I have to say that when the "docu" was release last year I thought about how impactfull was going to be for him, mentally and emotionally. And that it could be the end for him, in terms that at some point we would wake up one day to find out he was gone. Well, by reading that he though about it, at the beginning of the scandal, really moved me.

- The sexual trauma he had as a child and how that leaded to his view of sex, it was really unfortunate. Was it a PR way to get forgiveness? As the article stated, is a common tactick, but I am not 100% sure it was the intention because also in the article, he stated that episode is not an excuse for his behaviour towards those women, it was more to find out the origin of his personal problems and the way he saw sex.

- I want to comment somthing here, since I have been reading about it yesterday: his sexuality. I think this topic is nobody's business. Whether some say the article is "forcing" readers to believe he is straight, to me, it is non sense. The article is not about his sexuality is about his personal traumas, issues, mistakes, his side of the story in terms of the accusations. When it was mentioned that "he had never had sex with a man" it was related to the colombian guy and Effie's comments.

4. About her ex, I might be honest, at the beginning I really was on her side. I mean, if you find out your husband cheated for so long, and started to have questionable behaviour and also is acussed of something so delicate. How would I feel? I would have felt terrible, disapointed, I wont even wanted to know about him anymore. But there are also some points:

-After reading about her and now confirming it through this article. My empathy for her dissapeared completely . In fact, I find her anmoying and somebody whose obsession to show her perfect-imperfect life makes her fake and irritating.

- Her way to react to everything: its really disapointing coming from someone who had everything on her side to be the smarter one. And it confirm the idea of "being older does not makes you more mature". Since she is older than him, but if she was mature or more clever she would have handle the situation better. Okey, as I said, the impact of a cheating specially after so many years can make you do things. He is the father of her children, embarrasing him for being a cheater would have been enough.

- But take it further to create this whole campaign for years and confabulate with the mistresses and accused him of r@p* and violance towards his children, leading to distroying his career, was too much.

- What I wonder is why? If you know your partner cheeted on you for years, why stay with him? Is more powerfull your intention to have the perfect family than separarte from a person that clearly does not love you anymore? Did he promissed he wont cheat again but keep doing it? Was it all about the money? We would never know for sure.

5. His process of healing. It is good to know that he is working on It, that he made peace with himself and his is finding his way to have a normal living. It Is his right, even after his wrongdoings, he has the right to start over and make a reflextion of this actions. Is people going to forgive him? I dont think so nor I think he should care about that. if he is fine is enough because unfortunatelly people in sm are toxic.

6. About the way he reflected on his actions. I think it is mature from him to take responsability. That is what anyone who made mistakes should do, but here I have some comments:

- I do not understand how people are mad or critize him. What did they expect? That he accepted he rape people, that he is cannibal? The article was his side of the story, and explain his version and supported it with information. Is the same way those women have done the last 2 years.

- About his comparison with RDJ and others. I think every story is different but in general I understand that what he meant was that those people struggle but at the end they change and are better now.

- there is one thing I did not like about and it was the "hero' death" comment. I like Armie. He seems like a genuine, honest person who had and is dealing with his issues. But I dont think it was good to compare his situation to "heros's death" since it make it look like he is the "hero" which clearly he wasn't nor isn't. Jus saying that you have to hit rock bottom to later start again for good would have been enough.

7. His friends. I have read that some questioned the way his friends commented about Armie. In my personal opinion, his friends are good ones. If I were one of his friends I would definetely talk to him and tell him how an ashole he was, I would even being disapointed, in addition to the fact that I would asking him if he raped somebody or not. Even more, if I warned him and at the end did the opposite, I would tell him "I told you". Does it make me a bad friend? I dont think so. A bad friend would have been if I leave him alone, or didnt support him, didn't try to help him to understand that what he did was wrong. A true friend tells you when you fucked up, but that does not mean they will leave you. I think they are those kind of friends.

8. About his career. I wish he come back. As I said I really like the way he act. For me, he has the qualities to be a good actor and he loves it. (The part that really broke me was when he said: "they didnt want me to act, but also they dont want me to have a normal life either"). In addition, I think:

- if that happen or not we dont know. Many did not like him before the scandal, less they do now. There is nothing he can do and I dont think HW would do anything.

- If Luca or any independent director cast him would be really nice. Based on his performances, he perfomes better on this type of films than the big budget ones.

- But at the same time, I think: if I were him and after being treated that way in the industry I work for 10 years, would I really wanted to comeback? If so I would have to see all those people who turn their backs on me or make fun of me or did not say anything when I needed the most. Personally I would felt weird.

9. About the reaction of people and the media. Well there is not too much to say:

- Show biz media really covered the most controvertial things, left aside the most important parts. In general, they kept the same narrative otherwise they would be seem as unbias and as bad journalism. Does it surprised me? Nop.

- But what I really congratulate Armie is for not choosing them as the media to release his side of the story. It was pretty smart I might say. I enjoy the idea of how Variety, Hollywood reporter and the rest might have been feeling to find out that he give the exclusive to the AirMail.

- about the people, well it does not suprised me how hypocrites people are in sm. The way they wish him d*ad and do not want to hear the side of his story, confirm how less interested are in knowing the whole picture compared to how eager are to distroy people.

10. About justice, I hope those people get the consecuentes of their actions. It is not fair for the Metoo movement and any sa survivor to have people who stained the cause and such delicate matter for their convenience and mental problems. Armie said he emotionally abused those women therefore he is paying the consecuences. It is time for the rest to get the same.

In general it was an interested article and I am really happy that he decided to talk. It was his right and also I think it was necessary.

If people believe him or not, that is another story.

#armie hammer #support armie hammer #supportarmiehammer #elizabeth chambers

[walker-extended-universe]

Walker 3x09 Thoughts

Finally had a chance to sit down and watch the new episode. I don't have the time for a few review but I'll get my thoughts down here plot-by-plot

August's path to forgiveness:

Not at all surprised that Bonham hasn't forgiven August for his perceived wrongdoing and I know Augie will be blaming himself for a while. Bonham could be a little nicer about it though.

I think August and Colton bonding is probably my favorite part of the episode. They've been put at odds a lot over the past couple of seasons and seeing them work together and offer each other advice was sweet.

Bonham only making steps toward forgiving August after seeing him go out of his way to do something nice, something he wasn't asked to do, is so perfectly in-character. I do hope we get an actual scene between them discussing what happened though. Maybe once August gets the stamp of apporval from Gramps, he'll start to lay off himself.

Liam's Not a Cowboy:

Liam is trying so damn hard but he doesn't know how the ranch business works. Coming right out the gate with an accusation like that isn't good in any business environment, let alone one that really relies on having good business and personal relations with people

I'm excited that Liam got excited about expanding the horse rescue but 1) Colton has a point that he and Stella aren't exactly qualified and 2) He definitely should've run any business plans by Bonham before jumping in headfirst

"Know your place"- Okay Bonham has a point here but also OUCH. Liam went from feeling apologetic to not giving a damn in .5 seconds and that's going to get messy

The Case:

So so so so happy to see Cordell being badass and being treated as a competent ranger

James is being way too harsh on Trey but my boy is trying his best anyway and trying to make sure justice is served

I can appreciate Utopian views of society as much as the next person but, yeah, once you throw money in the mix people stop being friends. I can only imagine the scandal that's going to erupt when people who were just picking up a few bills get thrown in jail like the people that were getting violent

Poor Trey :(

The Luncheon:

Cassie and Kevin were almost as awkward around each other as Cordell and Julia were and that was kind of adorable

Kevin continues to be the most perfectest boyfriend and that really has me wondering if his intentions are genuine or if @theladywyn's predictions will come true

Cordell and Julie swapping trauma recovery stories really has me vibrating with hope that she'll be a love interest because she pretty much ticks all my boxes for him

The Almost Kiss *chef's kiss*

The Wicked Witch of the Jail:

I think Gale could've waited at least a year before she started asking for prison visits

Colton feeling conflicted on how to handle this was so sad to watch but it makes sense. Everyone else in his family has left him to deal with things himself and his Grammy was clearly an important person to him. But he doesn't want to betray Stella and her family. So much angst wrapped up in like five minutes of airtime. I love it.

The Ending:

"Stay Hydrated War Hero" goddamn

Glad the terrorists are back

I like that Cordell is actually going to reach out to someone for help about this. He doesn't want to worry his family any more than they already are and he knows the rangers don't have any leads, so he turns to Julia. I love it. I love them. (It's been one episode but I'm shipping it idec)

#walker #walker spoilers #walker review #ish #s03e09 #buffering

[lliinnkk]

On the 1st read of Misery, when I found that King wrote the book as a metaphor for addiction, I thought he just meant the pills that Paul needs to stave off the pain of his legs. On the 2nd read tho, it becomes more apparent how Annie herself along with just the narrative as a whole is a rly good metaphor for addiction.

(The rest of this post contains spoilers for Stephen King's book Misery)

I especially love how Paul relates the pain to a piling slowly becoming visible as the tide goes in or out over it: the pain being the piling, the pills being the tide, and Annie being the moon that pulls the tides in and out.

Paul originally starts needing the pills for his pain after the physical trauma of the car accident but soon realises he is addicted to them and also depends on them for the emotional trauma of the accident.

Annie, like addiction, is irrational and controlling, trapping Paul in a house in which he is forced to give up on autonomy, freedom, time and his most recent work that he spent 2 passionate years on. He gives up dignity and will to live and he even murders Annie at the end, finally conquering her.

Annie forces Paul to destroy the only copy of his manuscript and make a new Misery book for her. She is a nurse, described as being maternal and loving, supposedly giving Paul the pills for his own good, to make him feel better, even tho the real, more effective solution for his own good would be to take him to a hospital, which would be a permanent solution to his problem. However, she never intended to let him go after his legs healed. After he heals up enough to just wheel himself around in a wheelchair, she chops off his foot, setting him back even further than he was before, making him need her yet again to stay alive.

She is irrational and neurotic, accusing him of things he would never physically be capable of doing and insisting that she is right no matter how much he tries to defend himself

I fucking love this book, it is now my favourite.

Addiction will trap you and convince you that you need it to live, as you rely on it at least at first in good faith, a coping mechanism for the parts of life that you don't want to think about. But it's not a realistic solution for problems, only hurting you more in the end

Something that also kind of stood out to me about Misery, despite it not being mentioned in the book I don't think, is about how Annie never gave Paul anything to do in all that time he spent alone there when she wasn't there. As far as I can remember, Annie never gives him a book to read, a colouring book, a novel, or playing cards, nothing. Absolutely nothing to do, to keep himself entertained. The only things she gave him were a typewriter and her own presence. I think I remember that they would occasionally watch TV together when their relationship was ok ish but other than that, nothing. He was left alone in the house with only Annie and only things that were related to Annie, not even a radio.

I recall a study which was done on I think rats and I think cocaine. Rats in cages were given cocaine and they took it and became addicted to it. However, rats in cages who were given cocaine and other sources of entertainment and activity did not become addicted. They did take the cocaine occasionally but did not rely on it because they had other ways of enjoying themselves.

That makes me think about how it would've been so much easier for Paul to have become addicted on the pills as a relief for his pain when the only source of entertainment or relief he has was his own mind. At least he had "such a vivid imagination" that he "did not get from (his mother's) side of the family" lol

Anyway I love this book so much, I highly recommend it and I relate to it so much

#my post #books #literature #Stephen King #Misery #stephen king misery #misery stephen King #swearing cw

[jitterbugjive]

Oh-- God, that's wild. And a lot more complicated than I thought. D: I do remember her publicly calling you out years ago, I can't remember what for (maybe it was vaguing, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't about any of this.) Felt more like a personal spat where she was offended/her feelings were hurt. ): I do hope she gets the help she needs, and you still come out of this okay. None of that relates to who you are now as a content creator.

It was about a few things, like the Derpy Blog incident, and claiming that I taught her to act like a sociopath because a long time ago she came to me asking about her lack of emotional empathy and need to manipulate others and in my naivete I suggested perhaps sociopathy could explain it. Because even I myself at the time was dealing with similar feelings and thought I might have been a sociopath because of it. This was before therapy and dealing with my trauma and realizing it wasn't sociopathy, but in fact dissociation. And when I did suggest it, I tried my best to give her tools to practice empathy and kindness, but she blames me for all the wrong and harm she's done to people because to her, my suggesting she had sociopathy was permission for her to act like a sociopath.

I struggled with the guilt of this for a while but my therapist told me no one can 'teach' someone to become a sociopath, that's not how that works. She chose to act that way on her own because she took something I said and ran with it, and I didn't give her enough tools to counter those thoughts but that's not my fault because I didn't intend for things to happen the way they did. I really tried to provide advice that would help her function more like a proper, kind person, but she ignored that advice. I'm not blaming her either by the way, she was a kid, kids are dumb, they tend to latch on to dumb things and take them way out of context. She was at that age where kids like to be edgy so I'm sure the idea of being a sociopath was cool to her.

She also called me out on something I told her when I was in a psychotic state, which was me saying I based Slate off of her. That wasn't true either, and I tried to explain it to her that in that state I believed everyone's characters HAD to be based on someone real, no exception, and I felt the need to tell her Slate was based on her because he had just a couple of things in common with her and therefor "they were connected" and I "subconciously" used Slate as an experiment to better understand her.

Again, I explained this to her, I told her that I was not in my right mind, and I told her the three characters Slate was actually based on from the anime Monster. But she apparently chose to believe I was lying and that I HAD to have based slate on her because of how similar they were.

I have a screencap of a convo here where she admits that she had a habit of taking anything wrong she did and blaming it on me, and the last convo I had with her was about a friend she manipulated and targetted because she thought he was too nice and naive and needed to learn a lesson about life.

I never meant to make her feel like she was a bad person, I just wanted to know why she did it, why she hurt someone that badly and pitted people against him.

She ghosted me after this convo, and a few months later deleted my Bedeviled Derpy blog with a long post of accusations against me.

THEN after that did a callout twitter with one of her buddies.

It's just

I have been too scared to defend myself because I don't want to look like one of THOSE people, but I'm so tired of people looking at just one side of the story and not understanding all the stuff that's being left out or twisted to sound worse than it actually is.

I want the best for her, I do, but I don't think I deserved this much backlash. If she'd just talked to me we could have come to an understanding, I feel. But that's not how she does things. She'd sooner ghost then lash out than actually discuss things. She'd rather tear people apart to get back at them than come to an understanding. Maybe she's different now, but I doubt she'll ever let go of the fact that I'm her scapegoat for everything that was ever wrong with her.

#vent

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

alright this has been bugging me for a while so. AITA for expecting my roommates to do chores?

This is from a few years ago when I (20 at the time, trans man) was still in college but I had moved in with two friends we'll call Pink (20NB) and Blue (20F) who were dating and I believe are still together but that's not terribly important.

When we had moved in we had agreed to split chores and just clean up after ourselves and ask for help when we needed it. I tend to get antsy when spaces I'm in are dirty and so I would sometimes get on them for not doing their dishes or leaving dishes in the living room or something which I realize can come off as asshole-ish but eventually we ended up changing our chore plan to me doing the dishes and keeping the kitchen area clean and the two of them would take care of the living room.

I kept up with the dishes at least once a day, but more often than not I did them twice a day, since they frequently had people over (and never told me, despite being something I had asked them to do repeatedly, especially with people I didn't know) and made dinner for them so instead of doing dishes for three people, I ended up doing dishes for 5+ people multiple times a week and kept the stove and microwave and fridge wiped down etc. I kept my space nice and orderly as best as I could.

Now this is where the AITA comes in. About halfway into living together, Pink had invited someone over to help them clean up the living room space which was fine (again they did not tell me about this) but when I asked why that friend was there, Pink said it was because someone (me) wouldn't help them out. They had never asked me to help them clean up the living room and I would have if they had asked. I can't remember if this happened before or after Pink had accused me of using my masculinity to make them feel bad (I don't know if it's entirely relevant but I'm 5'4 and have not in any way physically transitioned and do not pass very well) for having trauma related to doing chores and not doing them.

Personally, I feel like they pulled out the trauma card a little too frequently because they also used it to tell me that it's my fault I was having a panic attack over their fights with Blue because Blue was triggering their trauma so I can't be mad at Pink for their reaction. I get that you can have a hard time doing chores because of trauma but they never asked me for help to my knowledge and then blamed me for not doing anything even though I was the only reason we didn't constantly have a fruit fly infestation because I did dishes every day and took out the trash multiple times a week (something else Pink refused to do and basically banned Blue from doing because they "didn't need to do anything outside their zone" and the garbage was in the kitchen), but sometimes I feel like I might have been too harsh on them so...

AITA for expecting my roommates to keep the apartment clean or at least ask me for help with cleaning?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[gallavich-headcanon]

So.... I see you and nosho's angsty guitar player au.

I raise you my own celebrity au

Frank and Monica were part of this famous 80s band with Tommy and Kermit, their kids are like Hollywood royalty. Fiona is an actress who kinda had a child star crash and burn a while back, but she's recovering and reclaiming her independence. Lip acts, Carl is like Justin Bieber everyone thinks he's hot. Debbie sings, and Liam is kinda staying out of the limelight for now.

Ian models, mostly, with a bit of acting here and there. Lip introduced him to Mickey, because Lip met him at an interview once and there's some mutual respect there.

Mickey Colin and Iggy have a band called Viches, they do punkrock and metal, but in their later years they transition into something a little more upbeat. Their most famous song is black parade (apologies Mr Gerard way I'm borrowing it I promise I'll give it back) and they sing it at the end of every show. One of their albums is titled "Burn it Down", the cover pic is mickey edited onto a burning sofa in black and white. It's angry and pissed off at the world. The album immediately after that is titled neotheater, and it's a darker look at the trauma and how it's still affectinh them

Ian and Mickey date in secret for years, Mickey officially comes out in a music video for a song on Neotheater (the song is Get Up by Shinedown, because I fucking love that song.) The coming out song is a remix of an older piano song Mickey made.

Colin plays drums, Mickey plays bass and piano, and Iggy plays electric and hits the high notes. Mickey writes their lyrics, mostly!

Mandy has a reputation for being a slut and making filthy club music, but she wants to actually be known for her singing.

Tami raps. No one believes it when they look at her, but she makes some of the sickest female rap songs and pays so much respect to those who came before her. Her and Mandy are friends, and once Lip and Mandy call off their on again off again thing Mandy is very happy for them despite what the paps think

The internet finds out about Terry after burn it down is announced but not out yet, they accuse the band and Mandy of being Nazis and shit, so they put out a cover of tomorrow belongs to me from cabaret? It's not their usual fare, but they put it out anyway, all wearing makeup that makes them look bruised and clearly pissed off. It's controversial and powerful and I love them.

Oh, and Mickey and Iggy will full on stop shows if they see fighting in their mosh pits. You don't come to a Viches show and ignore pit ettiquite.

Hey ALICIA 💗 how are you doing? Sorry it took me a while, I have be fortunate enough to have many AUs coming my way lately and I had to give this my full attention.

Frank and Monica were part of this famous 80s band with Tommy and Kermit, their kids are like Hollywood royalty. -> Oh my god what an amazing start! I never saw this coming lol

Mickey, Colin and Iggy have a band called Viches -> I am screaminggg. this is incredible. Colin plays drums, Mickey plays bass and piano, and Iggy plays electric and hits the high notes. Mickey writes their lyrics, mostly! -> I love it! Mickey has such base player vibes. Wait who is the singer? Is Mandy a part of it all? Okay, I read further now, Mandy has her own thing (I write my response as I read lol) So you're saying Mickey is the lead singer, right? I can kinds see more writing the songs / lyrics and letting someone else sing, but this is just my headcanon. I don't see him as the front man, I like him as the Nick Jonas, if you will.

Welcome To The Black Parade is such a perfect fit.

Ian and Mickey date in secret for years -> I didn't know if we were going fake relations or secret relationship, but I like it! We don't see enough of those! (Maybe because it's literally canon but still, it's an awesome trope!) Do they both want it to be in secret? Is Ian out before Mickey comes out?

I have to admit I didn't know Get Up until now. It's definitely less angsty, which makes sense since Mickey has processed a lot of his trauma and being with Ian made him write lighter songs in a way.

Tami raps. -> HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Alicia your brain is incredible. I can feel the Iggy azalea vibes.

Tomorrow belongs to me... interesting choice... The composer, John Kander, was Jewish and openly gay. But the song has been adopted quite a bit by extremist organizations, racist bands, and neo-Nazi politicians . Like this song has actually been covered by white supremacist bands. So I don't know if that's the way I'd go with it. (Not to get too serious but I'm Jewish and I'd probably take it the wrong way if I saw a band doing that)

Maybe Rage Against The Machine's Take The Power Back Or All You Fascists (possible an acoustic version for a change of pace?) would work better, what do you think?

Anyways I want to hear more about Ian and Mickey's relationship before they came out! How long did they hide their relationship for? What pushed Mickey to want to come out at that timing? I love the world you built in this AU! Does Ian stick to modeling or will he gravitate towards acting or something else? Does he go on tour with Viches? I'm very excited about this AU

#flamingbluepanda #celebrity au #musician mickey #musician au #gallavich au #gallavich #band au #shameless #shameless au #ian x mickey #secret relationship

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

Andrew Doyle: 'We’re seeing this new form of homophobia become more prevalent'

Homophobia is back. Well it never really went away of course, but now it's emerging in the guise of progressivism.

The rise of gender identity ideology has brought with it many of the old anti-gay tropes, which are now rapidly circulating on social media.

So over the past year, I've seen two particularly sinister developments coming from activists online. I'm talking about explicit misogyny and explicit homophobia, the kind of which I haven't seen since I was a child. Now, I've discussed the misogyny aspect many, many times before in this show, often in relation to the extreme reaction to JK Rowling's views on the importance of women's only spaces for victims of domestic abuse.

But today I want to talk a bit about the homophobia that comes from the same kind of activists. Here are some examples of tweets that I've read. A warning of strong and offensive language coming up.

"If you're a cis gay man and your sexuality revolves around you not liking female genitalia I hope you die and I will spit on your grave." "I hope gay men who won't date trans men know that they're f***ing disgusting." "Cis gay men are a disease." "Cis gay men are truly some of the most grotesque creatures to burden this earth." "I hate cis gay people with a burning passion." "Cis gays don't deserve rights. I'm sorry y'all. I really am, but they don't." "It's time to normalize homophobia."

Now I've said before I don't trust news reports to take a couple of examples of something from Twitter to imply that there's a trend when there isn't. Because you can find anything on Twitter.

But I started seeing tweets like this last year, and to be honest I just wrote them off as aberrations. I thought these are just the usual lunatics you come across on social media from time to time.

And then then I looked into it. Now the examples I've quoted are very much the tip of a colossal iceberg. There are thousands and thousands of these kinds of tweets, and if you're interested or if you don't believe me, you can check out a website called "Woke Homophobia: Anti-Gay Hatred and Boxer Ceiling Abuse." Caution is advised, because some of the content is genuinely hateful and odious. But it will give you a sense of the extent of this problem that very few people are talking about. And it's not just a few tweets here and there, and that's why we need to address it.

So we've all heard of the glass ceiling. The glass ceiling is a phrase used by feminists to describe the career limitations that women face in a patriarchal system. Now there is what's become known as the cotton ceiling, and the cotton ceiling refers to the barriers that trans people might face in attempting to have sex with women. Cotton here is a reference to underwear, which is why the male equivalent is called the boxer ceiling.

If all this sounds confusing, don't worry you're not alone. By way of explanation, here's a poster that was spotted last year at the University of Liverpool. "Genital Preferences are Transphobic."

Now it really is worth emphasizing this is not the opinion of the vast majority of trans people. This is a small contingent of activists who genuinely believe that if you won't sleep with them, you must hate trans people, rather than you know, having a particular sexual orientation. It really does make about as much sense as accusing gay men of being misogynist because they tend not to have sex with women.

And like I say, this wouldn't matter if it was just a few people online making a lot of noise about nothing. But it's not that. The examples are endless. Here's another one. This is someone who thinks that lesbians who don't want to have sex with male bodied people are bigots.

So according to this activist, you're not homosexual, you're just suffering from trauma. Where have we heard that before? Well, homosexuality was removed from the World Health Organization's list of psychiatric disorders in 1993. But now we're expected to believe that was a mistake.

Remember back in the 1980s when anti-gay ideas were openly expressed, often even on prime time television. You would hear statements like "oh he just hasn't found the right girl yet" or "that lesbian just needs a good bloke." It would appear that all of these homophobic tropes are now being rehabilitated. We still hear them occasionally from the far right of course, but now we're also hearing them from woke activists.

But why? Why would those who claim to be fighting for tolerance and inclusivity be berating gay men and lesbians for being attracted to their own sex? Well the answer lies in the recent proliferation of gender identity ideology, which posits a kind of religious belief in a sort of “sexed soul,” one that is unrelated to our anatomy.

Of course anyone is free to claim a gender identity, that's their business. It's just that the vast majority of people don't. I don't identify as male. I'm simply biologically male, it's a fact. And this notion of gender identity is not to be confused with gender dysphoria, which is when someone feels so uncomfortable with their body that they need to present as the opposite sex or undergo surgery.

Gender identity ideology is a very different thing, and it's based on the complete repudiation of the significance of biology. And this is the problem. There is a general confusion now about what it is that trans activists are proposing. Virtually all of us support equal rights for trans people, I certainly do. But that's because we understand and we care about people with gender dysphoria, and moreover we value individual liberty.

But this new ideology is something else, and the distinction is often overlooked. Again, I must emphasize this: the vast majority of trans people do not deny biological sex differences. Why would they? As the trans writer Blaire White has pointed out, if there's no such thing as biological sex, there's no such thing as being trans.

So if it's only a minority of activists who are claiming that biology doesn't matter, or verbally abusing and threatening gay people for being attracted to their own sex, why should we worry? Well, we need to worry because this belief system, although not popular, now underpins major policy changes and new initiatives in education, in politics, and the corporate world.

Stonewall, a charity that used to fight for gay rights, has led the way towards this kind of thinking. Stonewall redefined "homosexual" on its website and resource materials as "same gender attracted." But that's not what homosexual means at all. It means same-sex attracted. Lesbians aren't attracted to people who identify as women, they're attracted to women.

It isn't transphobic for a lesbian not to want to have sex with someone with a penis, even if that person identifies as female. A person's sexual orientation is their own business, and nobody has a right to be in someone else's dating pool.

And as we've seen from the recent exodus of organizations from Stonewall's Diversity Champions scheme, many people are waking up to the problem. Some of Stonewall's founders such as Matthew Paris and Simon Fanshawe have criticized Stonewall for its intolerance of anyone who disagrees with this new ideology. The actor Simon Callow, who himself campaigned for gay rights, has described Stonewall's views as tyrannical. This is because Stonewall and its supporters have now got into the mindset where anyone who has a contrary view must be a hateful transphobe.

And yet this reaction is completely divorced from reality. These gay campaigners who have known and loved trans people all their lives, haven't just turned into bigots overnight. And it's because all criticism is being misrepresented as hate that no progress can possibly be made on this issue. It's also why we're seeing this new form of homophobia become more prevalent, one that dismisses same-sex attraction as bigoted and even a sign of mental illness.

And if we want to put a stop to it we have to be able to have difficult conversations with people who disagree with us. But that can't happen when one side of the argument insists on demonizing the other.

--

Link: Woke Homophobia: Anti-Gay Hatred & Boxer Ceiling Abuse from Trans Activists & Gender-Identity Ideologues (Album archive, original deleted by Google)

Link: Cotton Ceiling (Thread)

==

If you scroll through the Cotton Ceiling or Boxer Ceiling threads, you’ll often notice that the dismissive “genital preference” is even further framed as “genital fetish.” The irony is that these people don’t want a trans partner either.

It also takes all of about two minutes to notice that most of the profiles on the Boxer Ceiling thread raging about “cis” gay men - at least, the ones that don’t have a profile photo of someone who is unambiguously female, usually with piercings and dyed hair streaks - have anime profile icons, strongly suggesting that these are really just mentally unwell women looking to force gay men into acting out their anime yaoi fetishes.

#Andrew Doyle #Boxer Ceiling #Cotton Ceiling #homophobia #Homophobia 2.0 #gender ideology #queer theory #homosexuality #biology denial #ideological corruption #authoritarianism #woke authoritarianism #same sex attraction #woke homophobia #wokeness as religion #cult of woke #woke #woke activism #wokeism #Stonewall #Stonewall UK #genital preference #genital preferences are transphobic #ideological capture #anime icons #anime icon in bio #religion is a mental illness

[drdemonprince]

is it (internally too I guess) transphobic of me to be cautious dating someone who just started transitioning?

I don't want my opinions and preferences on how femmes look to be a factor as a tme non-binary femme. I don't want or need her to change herself (or not!) in a certain way, to be clear; I just assume that attraction can fluctuate for both of us and she is the kind of person to take relationships seriously quite quickly. can't tell if I'm overthinking it.

if that's too specific and/or obviously fucked up (I'm honestly not sure) I'm super sorry. my gender presentation stuff is a hornet's nest I am not addressing as nothing helps so I'm really happy for her.

thanks for reading

I think this is actually a really lovely and conscientious question and that your fears are reasonably founded!

The early years of transition are quite emotionally perilous for people and they try our romantic relationships quite heavily; there's a reason I've seen prominent trans people on Twitter claiming that you should end your relationship the moment you come out and begin to transition. I don't fully agree with that advice, but I think a lot of people who try to bluster through an existing relationship while transitioning do end up living to regret it, myself included. I tried to transition gradually to make all the shifts bearable for my partner and me, but that only fomented resentment and insecurity on my end and complete bafflement about how far this was all gonna "go" on my ex's end and ultimately it just meant we drifted apart painfully over the course of years instead of swiftly. it wasn't pretty.

During the first couple of years of transition, people try on all kinds of new styles and presentations, explore new sexual roles, try on different mannerisms, join new friend groups, adopt new self-narratives and frames on past events, and much more. And it's also an incredibly vulnerable time in terms of physical safety out in public AND emotional safety in bearing one's evolving self to close loved ones, and even the slightest reaction from another person can have massive ripple-effects on how we view ourselves and the 'success' of our transitions for a long period afterward.

I think it's very wise and appropriate for you to be concerned that your own reactions to your partner's transition might unduly influence them! I have seen T4T couples with bad boundaries erupt into chaos over this kind of thing in so many ways.

Sometimes the babier trans in the relationship molds herself too much on her more seasoned partner's transition and personal style. Other times, the babier trans leans heavily on the more experienced trans partner for advice and psychological transition related doula-ing, leaving the more experienced trans partner feeling used (Casey Plett has a lot of short stories about this dynamic! check out A Dream of a Woman for a story about a trans girl who becomes disillusioned with her cute, sweet, perfectly supportive cis boyfriend the moment she realizes he isn't so cis, and then ends things). I've even seen trans-trans couples break up in a hail of drama and abuse accusations, all because one partner was triggered by the (misgendering kink) porn preferences of the other partner.

There are so many ways to be trans, and each one of us who has been trans for a while has a lot of strong opinions about the subject. Even if in theory we support the body autonomy and self-expression of every other trans person, in practice we come to relationships with a mess of dysphoria triggers, trauma responses, aesthetic preferences, medical know-how, load-bearing neuroses, and sexual role hang ups to bear, and sometimes when our existing soft spots bash up against a newly-transitioning person's raw wounds, it hurts everybody.

I think it might be easier for you to know this newly-out trans person as a friend than as a romantic partner at this time. It sounds like your gut is telling you something like that, too. You mentioned that she gets attached very quickly. She's in a really open, raw position right now and will probably need a lot of support as she transitions, and she might also be really desperate for approval and for feelings of safety because of it too. And you're not bad or transphobic for wanting to avoid getting wrapped up in all that.

I think it's really big of you to recognize you have your own hang-ups and that they might unconsciously influence her and how her transition goes, too. a lot of trans people don't interrogate how their own expectations and baggage might radiate into their partners (for instance, a lot of TME nonbinaries with trans femme partners pressure those partners into staying masculine to some degree, and keeping their penises sexually available to them for penetration, and it's really harrowing and traumatic). I don't get the vibe you're the type to do anything like that and I don't even know if you're TME, but you get the idea. Trans people aren't inherently pure, we hurt one another and turn one another into symbols of what we desire and what we fear and what's hurt us when really we should be regarding each other as distinct people.

It's fine to not want to date someone newly transitioning. Do you know how many gay people I've met who've said they'll never date newly out or questioning people again? A ton! Being with someone who is newly out requires a lot of patience and emotional caretaking, and some people have no taste for that or aren't equipped to do it, and that's fine. I'd be disinclined to date someone newly out for the most part too, at least if they were also trans masc. I'd be too afraid of accidentally punishing them for reminding me of my earlier self, and that's not fair.

[woodsfae]

Babylon 5 s02e05 The Long Dark

s02 Table of Contents • previous episode

ooo, What’s the Copernicus? Humans that left so long ago they don’t know what has been going on this whole time? Is it causing this “it’s coming through the walls -> I need some ozones -> get out out of my head” madness or is this poor fellow just kinda fucked up? 

“class c missionary license” that’s...um, a policy to have.

There’s something alive in the Copernicus! but is it human? Or is it eldritch madness??

There’s cryogenics in this universe!! (amelia earhart? hahaha. Voyager fans know what I’m talkin ‘bout)

She looks an awful lot like young Angelina Jolie. I will shit myself if Angelina Jolie guest starred on B5.

Nice to see Garibaldi having some human feelings of empathy for the indigents in the last few episodes instead of just body slamming them and knocking their heads into bartops.

“Well I find that life is, in general, much easier if I forget more of the things that happen to me.”

Been there, tried that, EMDR is easier in the long run.

“You were about to accuse the Centauri ambassador of being in league with the devil - which might not be that far from being the truth.”

LMAO Garibaldi. Slowly climbing the likeability ranks.

Lot of good lines here. I need to not stop and type out the entire conversation, but it is funny in a dark and relatable kind of way. This is probably why veterans tend to ask me where I served and I’m like “my case of c-ptsd was homegrown, organic, and free-range, actually. Now can you take a step to the left? You’re blocking my line of sight to the nearest escape route.”

The Copernicus human definitely isn’t Jolie, so I’m free to crap in the toilet.

ooOOOoooo a murder investigation on the Copernicus!

It bears repeating: I love these totally transparent masks, and once again am asking that they consider making their scrubs out of the same material.

“How long were we in stasis?” “...I think we should take this one day at a time.”

Dr Stephen Franklin I can tell you with 100% certainty that that answer is WAY MORE ANXIETY INDUCING than just being like “153 yrs,” or whatever it is. I’d have a panic attack and start assuming it had been like a thousand years or something.

It doesn’t seem like Ms Anachronism killed her crewmate (Will) from her reaction, but who knows! Maybe there’s cryogenic sleepwalking in this universe!

Mr War PTSD likes to fixate on the Copernicus. hmmmm. No hypothesis at this time. Unless he’s being possessed by Will.

“...then we still haven’t outgrown violence?”

extremely tragic, yes. 

“Take my advice and go back to the time you came from. The future isn’t what it used to be.”

G’Kar. I mean this with my whole chest: what the hell, dude?

It would be nice if they gave us a name for the Copernicus Survivor. And also very odd that G’Kar’s bizarre and unnerving greeting triggered a faint + nightmare/flashback.

Will was married to the Survivor!

Stephen leave her be. You literally just told her that her husband was murdered. I guess he and Janice must not have worked out?

Mr War PTSD should maybe hang out with Aunt Prophetess and learn to get a handle on his gift, since it doesn’t seem like humans have any sort of support structure of people who have visions.

OoooOOooo something did come off that ship! He should definitely hang out with Aunt Prophetess.

Mr War PTSD is called Amis, and he was the sole survivor of 47 soldiers stationed on a moon. Big trauma. And the Copernicus went through that moon’s gravity well! I am delighted to discover this is giving Garibaldi the totally organic opportunity to say “This Mariah Cirrus may not be what she appears.”

Nah, it’s definitely some critter that didn’t show up on the lifesign scans.

Is the Non-Aligned Worlds the same thing as the League?

“She has brought something evil from the past. A soldier of darkness. [...] They do not move openly, they work through others, use others. When the darkness was defeated long ago, they scattered. Hid themselves away in secret places and waited. [...] Evil sometimes wears a pleasant face.”

It’s fascinating seeing more species’ legends of the past darkness. Are they really non-corporeal? Immortal, if they scattered and are re-gathering? Whatever came along with the Copernicus seemed to have a.) stayed with the ship for a time and b.) certainly killed the alien physically.

The various mythos being phrased and framed very much like fairy tales but actually translating pretty accurately into real info about the Shadows is absolutely excellent. Oral histories are as accurate as written records!

Really like this Garibaldi/Amis team-up.

Awwww, Amis. guy.

This story of Garibaldi’s really really makes me think that Earth needs a Mystics, Lunatics, and Dreamers Support Hotline.

Amis: “It came in the night, during a storm. We heard nothing, saw nothing. It came right through the walls...like a hot wind. The first man died just meters from me - never even screamed. We ran... We ran. For a second I thought I’d lost it. Then I saw it. Standing in the middle of a ball of lightning. It looked like it had come straight from hell.” Garibaldi: “How did you survive?” Amis: “I didn’t! It kept me alive... as a snack. It becomes part of you, feeding on you. The ones who died were the lucky ones on that moon. What it took from me, I can never get back. When the rescue party showed up, I weighed 85 pounds. That’s how I knew it was on this station. A part of me is still inside that thing. I can feel it, but no one ever believed me. Until now.”

F U C K I N G  T E R R I F Y I N G

“After awhile all we had in common was the stars and dreams.”

Mariah honey that is not a good relationship. Even if it is pretty romantic.

The shadows are some kind of parasite. I’d say psychic, but Amis and Will both lost a lot of weight, so maybe it’s an intangible life force that takes calories to sustain.

I am vibing on this form of protectiveness from Franklin towards Mariah. “Medical supervision is necessary for psychic tracking of an untrackable, evil force.” immaculate vibes.

Also this thing is giving off Star Trek ToS Salt Vampire vibes.

Three unnamed security officers go forth...idk if any of them are going to survive, since the rest are named characters and all but Amis and Mariah are regulars.

I have many many theories as to what may give the Shadows their invisi/intangibility. And I’m extremely surprised that neither the unnamed security guards, Amis or Mariah died!

Hope some Earth agency gives Mariah 100 years of backpay and survivor benefits for Will. Living still costs a stupid amount of money in the b5 world, it seems.

The Shadow changed the Copernicus’s course to aim for the exact coordinates where G’Kar said the Enemy was gathering its forces! dun dun dun!!!! The real question is, how long would it have taken to get there? The Copernicus had no access to FTL. It took not much more than 10 yrs to get from the moon base to B5, so they were either less than 10 light years apart or something else odd was going on.

Furries beware: the Shadows are incorporeal, bipedal wolves. And they are NOT FRIENDLY.

Absolutely adding Mariah Cirrus to my list of minor characters I’d like to see again, and Amis to my list of mystics that I think should hang out together.

next episode

#babylon 5 #michael garibaldi #susan ivanova #stephen franklin #mariah cirrus #John Sheridan #g'kar #woodsfae b5

[artemissaggezza]

To my Darling Tumblrinas. Friends, foes, and frenemies alike,

I reach out to you now to do one of the hardest and most terrifying things I have ever done: ask for help. Doing so has never been easy for me (if I explained all the reasons why I could literally write you a TLDR dissertation 😂).

Right now, my wife (@starlghtstarbrite) and I need it more than we ever have. Life is hard for everyone. It has been hard for us too. But she and I have always found a way through. We have survived so much together.

We managed to leave an abusive situation (albeit with a stab wound, nerve damage, concussions and horrible cases of PTSD). The physical trauma from this has left permanent scars for both me and my wife. Every day since then I have lived in severe, sometimes incapacitating pain. Being 12 years sober (😁) this is really hard to manage. My wife has nerve damage she will never recover from and phantom pain on a daily basis. I don't even know how much debt we're in because of this. Honestly, we are both terrified to check.

Beyond the physical shit, the emotional trauma from this has led to at least $10,000 in mental health treatment. Sometimes it was just therapy. But most of the time it was specialized treatment for Bipolar disorder, PTSD, and atypical anorexia leading me to be away from home and out of work for months at a time.

I started treatment for my eating disorder (for the 5th time) a year ago at this time. While I was in treatment my wife lost her job after the company realized they didn't need to pay someone to do her job when AI could do it for free. Bullshit, right?

If you can believe it, I lost my job in the beginning of December for even shittier reasons. Background: I used to work for the largest academic/licensure examination company in the world. I will probably get in trouble if I say their actual name, so I'll give you a hint. If you have ever needed to get licensed for your job, you'll know them as the intimidating people who watch you while you take exams and do "security checks" that make you feel like you're being arrested. For any students out there, they're probably the publisher of some of your most expensive text books and study guides. It rhymes with "ShmEARSON" 😂.

I literally got fired for accidentally LETTING A TOOTHPICK into the testing room. I was accused of "intentionally defying" my boss's "orders" by not following protocol exactly (this was after my male coworker had been accused of sexual harassment four times and still had a job).

Because of this, my wife and I are facing eviction in three days. And have nowhere to go. My parents are emotionally abusive and my wife's mother still introduces me as her "roommate". We've been living off of black beans and rice for a month because we don't have money for food. Nevermind our meds, that even with insurance (which I no longer have) cost hundreds of dollars a month.

Over the years we have struggled and been dealt a lot of bad hands of poker. But we've always managed to bluff our way out of it. We put our faith in each other and pretend there is a light at the end of the endless tunnel, at the top of the bottomless pit. Every now and then we've even been able to run two damp sticks together and make our own light.

But this time our bluff has been called. We've run out of sticks to rub together. Without help and support we won't be able to light the torch that leads us through the abyss and into hope.

So, here I am. Embracing vulnerability and asking for help. I know times are tough all around. So even knowing that my story has been read and validated is a great comfort to me.

If you're moved by our story, relate to it, or see yourself in it and would like to help out my CashApp is below.

I would also like to offer you the chance to get something in return, if you want. I have a lot of random skills I'm more than willing to offer.

I'm an artist (think Jackson Pollock style), an academic writer (specialization: psychology, criminal justice, sociology, statistical analysis and all the associated citation styles), an editor/proofreader, and a poet. Among a host of other bizarre things lol.

I know this was long AF and I do apologize. Mostly though, if you had the drive, compassion and attention span to get all the way down here I AM DAMN IMPRESSED. And more grateful than you could ever imagine.

Thank you, each and every one of you. For hearing my words and seeing me.

CashApp: $ArtemisSaggezza

#art for sale #my truth #being vulnerable #need hope #need help #light at the end of the tunnel

[plaguedpirate]

  　  　  　  　  　  　    　　𝖟𝖆𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖆 𝖟𝖆𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖊

zarina zarate is based on zarina from disney fairies. she is a 28 year old fairy, peddler, and uses she/her pronouns. she has the power of flight and pixie dust alchemy.

penned by HARPER

reflection

face claim: seychell gabriel sexuality: bisexual height: 5'3 eye color: brown hair color: brown piercings: n/a - she took them all out upon arriving to evermore tattoos: n/a

attitude

positive traits: adaptable, resourceful, independent, industrious, humorous, perceptive, protective negative traits: paranoid, withdrawn, defensive, self-destructive, compulsive, mischievous likes: the ocean, alchemy, experimenting with things usually left untouched, nature walks, french braids, the smell of freshly-poured coffee, wearing boots for almost every occasion, the smell of fresh cut wood, wanderlust, being alone dislikes: being ignored, having her ideas shut down, allowing her trauma to resurface, saying goodbye, car horns, closed-minded people, feeling like she can't breathe, being taken advantage of, sweating phobias: athazagoraphobia ( the fear of being forgotten ) hobbies: collecting trinkets, buying strange beverages from the liquor store and sampling them, being a porch pirate, singing sea shanties under her breath, experimenting with the remaining pixie dust she has in the solitude of her apartment, watching pirate movies and weirdly reminiscing. aesthetic: the smell of sea salt, the feeling of sand between bare toes, flannels and heavy boots, a multipurpose red scarf, a forgotten driftwood scented candle crackling on a dining room table, the smoke that trails from an extinguished flame, the sensation of relief that comes along with stretching, an old fashioned with extra orange bitters, whispers of the past coming from the faces of those one left behind

relations

mother: n/a father: n/a sibling(s): n/a pet(s): n/a

headcanons

⚔ zarina is reluctant in building connections with people due to having so many of her past relationships result in her being cast to the wayside or taken advantage of. her trust issues run particularly deep and so earning her respect or allegiance takes A LOT. ⚔ zarina isn’t proud of being a peddler but given as it is the only “talent” she has ?? she’ll take it. her acting skills have certainly started an upwards climb, given as she could gaslight anyone into believing an object she was selling did in fact come from an ancient burial ground and NOT their backyard. ⚔ the fairy has mixed and conflicting feelings about the other fairies; they were part of a community that had rejected her full force and with little remorse; a community who doubted her and belittled her curiosities. she believes none of them had taken her side when the accident happened, and accuses them of never even bothering to hear her out. whether or not those accusations are true aren’t important to zarina, and so she only trusts them as far as she could throw them. ⚔ she loves a good old-fashioned made with whiskey distilled at on ship in salt-infused barrels. jefferson’s ocean is a fave, and she always gets an extra twist of orange in hers. no extra twist?? she won’t drink it.  ⚔ the ocean was a safe space for her, endless rolling waves that moved without judgment, without question, without doubting themselves. not having an ocean in evermore is really hard for her, but the lakes in the park and the creeks in the river are likely where she can be found when she’s stuck in her own head… which is often. ⚔ when she’s stressed, walking alone at night, or feeling particularly anxious; she’ll sing old sea-shanties to herself to build her confidence and make her feel safe. a weird habit, being as those who taught her the shanties completely abandoned her and threatened her life but… part of her sometimes misses the crew she was with. even if it was temporary, for a short while, zarina felt like her and her talents meant something. therefore, the shanties are a weird comfort for her. ⚔ zarina is conflicted about their feelings being trapped in evermore… part of her has found peace with it, the other part of her yearns for a life in which she is able to do more. all she has ever wanted was to do more.

#evermorehqsintro #& intro