#and Colin is out here hoping it is ANYONE BUT HIM because no he wants to fuck his beautiful wife in rolling fields of flowers and on beache

[queen-haq]

Fic: Never You, Part 8 (Polin fic)

Fandom: Bridgerton (TV show)

Spoilers: S3 released scenes.

Summary: They may have been friends once but his callous words decimated their relationship. Determined not to have anything to do with him, Penelope is ready to move on. But Colin isn’t giving up, not at all. Friends or not, they are connected for life - and he intends to remind her of that.

Excerpt:

“You would hate me for not wanting to court you. You would be that selfish?”

“Of course you would think that.”

“What else is this if not punishment?”

Masterlist (contains links to previous parts and my other stories)

A03 link if that's more your jam

With her heart and mind in complete shambles the next day, the last place Penelope wanted to be at was the Bridgerton Manor. But there she was, cushioned between Lady Violet and her own mother for afternoon tea. As if things weren’t difficult enough, the Cowpers were also in attendance, which meant she was forced to watch Eloise and Cressida act like the best of friends. Occasionally Eloise would glance at her from the other side of the room, as if to gauge her reaction. The optimistic part of Penelope hoped it was because her former friend still cared, but the cynic in her knew otherwise. Eloise wanted to make it crystal clear that Penelope was alone now. Without Eloise, without the Bridgertons, she was an outsider. And who better to emphasize that point with than Cressida Cowper herself. The tall blonde had bullied Penelope since they were little girls, and now Eloise had joined forces with Satan herself. As if on cue, Cressida cast her a disparaging glance, whispering something in Eloise’s ears before both women exchanged a spiteful smile.

It was one thing to have Eloise be angry at her, that Penelope understood and could live with, but to see Eloise and Cressida’s blossoming friendship felt like an arrow through the heart. And it hurt, it hurt so much.

The night of the ball Penelope would’ve done anything to reconcile with Eloise, but since then she came to realize a lot of hard truths. The ton, Eloise, Colin – they only accepted her as long as she followed their rules. A woman like her, shy and large, not borne into wealth or beauty wasn’t allowed to want things. She had to remain voiceless, live in the shadow of others, not expect to be loved or cherished. The moment she refused to play the part of an insipid wallflower she was punished. And that was fine, she would live with the consequences of the choices she made. But what she wouldn’t do was reveal her pain for anyone’s enjoyment. So Eloise could be as snide as she wanted, she and Cressida could humiliate her to their heart’s content but they would never conquer her publicly.

“Penelope, you looked lovely at the VanGuard soiree.”

Breaking out of her reverie, Penelope smiled at Lady Violet. “Thank you.”

“The various shades of green have been a surprise,” Portia chimed in, sipping her tea. “I wasn’t with Penelope the day she went to the modiste and Miss Delacroix certainly took advantage of that. Probably talked my foolish child into buying all the unused fabrics she couldn’t sell to others.”

“I doubt Miss Delacroix has to resort to trickery to sell her clothes,” Penelope replied.

“She is very much in demand as a dressmaker,” Lady Violet added.

“Hmph…” was her mama’s response. “I suppose it could have been much worse. At least the green doesn’t wash out her complexion too much.”

Violet responded with a stiff smile. “I thought it suited her quite well.” She turned to Penelope. “We’ve missed having you here for tea.”

Penelope merely smiled.

“I suppose my Cressida has kept Eloise so busy these past few weeks she hasn’t had time for… others.” Penelope had to stop herself from rolling her eyes at Lady Cowper. The apple certainly didn’t fall far from the condescending tree.

“I’m sure that will be rectified soon,” Lady Violet replied, a hopeful tilt to her voice.

Penelope didn’t have the heart to tell her things had irrevocably changed. Eloise refused to understand her motivations, and Penelope wasn’t willing to fall on her sword to make things right between them.

“Mother, Cressida and I are going to take a stroll in the gardens,” Eloise announced, linking her arms through Cressida's as they both headed out of the room.

Lady Violet’s warm eyes gleamed with compassion as she directed her attention back to Penelope. “Would you like to join them?”

That was the last thing she wanted. “Is it alright if I visit the library?”

“Yes, of course.”

The stern look on Portia’s face indicated she wasn’t happy about Penelope spending time in the stuffy Bridgerton library but Penelope didn’t care. It was a room she loved, filled with many warm, comforting memories of happier times.

Excusing herself, she walked away from the prying eyes of the mothers, desperate for a moment alone. Her stomach was still tied in knots, her head pounding. She had stayed awake most of the night in Colin’s arms, inhaling him in and etching everything about him to her memory. At the same time her guilty conscience had warred with her heart, reminding her of the horrible mistake she was making. It was only when fatigue took over that she managed to get some sleep. By the time she woke up Colin had already left, and she had spent the morning agonizing over what to tell Arthur.

Penelope quietly walked to the library, grateful it was in the opposite wing from where the bedchambers were. The last thing she needed was to run into Colin; after last night, she was too embarrassed to face him.

Stepping inside the library, she shut the door behind. She closed her eyes. Breathed in the air, the smell of books infusing her senses. Sunlight peeked in through the windows, casting shadows across the room. As children she and Eloise had spent countless hours playing hide and seek between the shelves. This room had also been a haven when Mama and Papa fought, or those days Mama had been especially harsh about her eating habits. Penelope would sneak away and make her way into the Bridgerton library through the gardens and the back door, desperate for a quiet place to simply be.

She crossed the room, walking to the window which overlooked the south section of the garden. Staring out, she caught a glimpse of Cressida and Eloise walking together, engaged in deep conversation. It was Cressida’s facial expression that caught her attention. The blonde, usually so smarmy and full of herself, seemed almost shy next to Eloise, even vulnerable. Apparently they were friends.

Taking a deep breath, she walked further into the room, behind the shelves, to the hidden alcove.

Her heart was heavy, her mind still fraught with guilt. She had spent the morning writing and rewriting to Arthur, debating on how much to tell him. In the end, she decided to keep it short.

I made a mistake. One I’m not sure you can forgive me for. It’s best if we speak in person.

Tears welled in her eyes, her throat tightened with emotion.

As hurtful as Colin’s words had been about not courting her, at least they finally revealed what his true thoughts were. He didn’t love her, nor would he ever, and no amount of wishing would make it so. And ultimately, his honesty had been a gift because it allowed her to get through the pain and open her mind to pursue someone new. She hadn’t gone looking for Arthur, but when he’d come into her life she hadn’t closed herself off either. She may not have loved him madly like Colin but she held deep affection for him. There was also mutual respect between them and friendship. He understood what writing meant to her and pledged his full support, and that was a rare quality amongst men in their society. She had so much to look forward to and it was all gone now, completely eviscerated because of her own foolishness.

Tears fell down her cheeks while she pondered the bleak future ahead of her. Without any marriage prospects, she was doomed to be a spinster. Unlike Eloise, she wanted a husband and children, a contented marriage, a home where she would finally belong. As a spinster, however, she would most likely spend the rest of her life with Portia and be the sole recipient of her mother’s criticisms. Oh God. No, no, no, just the thought of that made her panic. Heart pounding, she clutched her chest, utterly dejected about her broken dreams.

“Pen? What’s wrong?”

She turned around to find Colin standing a few feet away. She swiped the tears from her face, quickly composing herself. “Nothing, I just have some dirt in my eyes.” While he crossed the room in only a few strides, she gave him a cursory smile. Seeing the concern on his face, she quickly averted her eyes away from him. “I need to return to the sitting room. Mama must be waiting for me.”

“You’ve been crying.” There was fear in his voice when he spoke. “What’s wrong?

She shook her head. “I’m fine-”

“I know I haven’t been a good friend to you recently. I wasn’t there when your father passed, I’ve been callous with your feelings – but please, Pen, give me a chance to help you. Tell me what’s wrong.”

Despite using all her resolve to hold it together, she started to shake. The lump in her throat made it impossible to speak. She closed her eyes, trying to keep her tears in check. She couldn’t bear for him to see her when she was feeling so low and pathetic.

All of a sudden his arms wrapped around her, enveloping her in a warm, comforting hug. “It’s alright. You don’t need to tell me, you don’t fully trust me yet. But please let me hold you for a while?”

It may have been posed as a question, yet his tight embrace indicated he wouldn’t let go even if she refused. And she tried, she tried to hold onto her pride and fight him off, but he was stronger and more resolute and eventually she gave in. The solace he offered made her crumble and she buried her face in his chest, crying silently in his arms.

For the longest while he simply hugged her, murmuring tender words, dropping light kisses on the crown of her head. He felt so strong yet gentle, offering his support, and her heart yearned for him. If only he could love her, want her for who she truly was. She let herself indulge in that fantasy for a few minutes, pondering life with him as his wife, being family with the Bridgertons, even having Eloise back as her best friend. She could continue to write, and they would be supportive without judging her. Her life would be perfect, she would never need for anything again.

Time held no meaning. All she felt was the warmth of his touch, his scent blanketing her senses, making her feel safe and secure in his grasp. Nestled in his arms, she listened to his heartbeat. Strong, slow, steady. Whereas her heart was pounding rapidly, like it always did when she was around him. A stark reminder of how much she was affected by him, whilst he wasn’t at all by her.

And that was enough for her mind to stop dwelling in the fantasy of Colin. There was never any possibility of a future with him. And she was absurd for letting herself daydream about it.

The tears stopped. A calm logic fell over her.

She took a deep breath.

Her foolish heart may have cost her a future with Arthur but that didn’t mean she was out of options.

She had amassed a small fortune already. And with any luck, the investments she made would continue to grow in value. While nothing would change her status as a spinster, that didn’t mean she had to live with Mama for the rest of her life. She could leave and build a life elsewhere, without her mother’s approval. In secret if she had to.

It wouldn’t be easy, but not impossible. After all, she had built Lady Whistledown from nothing. And now her nom de plume was one of the most influential names in the ton.  She was Penelope Featherington and she could do anything she set her mind to.

“Who made you cry, Penelope?”

His words instantly brought her back to reality, and she was reminded of how desperately she was clinging to him. Immediately she dropped her arms, intending to step back but he didn’t release his grip on her. Instead, he tucked his finger under her chin and nudged her head up to meet his gaze.

It was then she noticed the dark storm brewing in his gaze. There was anger in his eyes, on his face, his jaw clenched. The Colin she grew up with was cheery and affable, equally popular amongst ladies and gentlemen of the ton because of his friendly nature. But he wasn’t the same man staring back at her now, seething with rage, a strange viciousness vibrating off of him.

“No one gets to hurt you, Penelope.”

He wasn’t loud or boisterous with his threat, instead his tone was quiet which made his words even more dangerous. Because he wasn’t putting on an act. He meant every word.

His thumb swiped the tear stains from her cheeks, first left, then right, before trailing down to her lips. His breathing grew more shallow with every second, and his eyes held her transfixed, making it impossible for her to look away from him. She was his prisoner, body and soul.

“Tell me who it was.”

She swallowed audibly. “Why do you care?”

“Because you're everything to me.” His arms encircled her back, pulling her against him. “And I will destroy the fucking world before I let someone hurt you again."

There was no time to argue, to think. A palpable force compelled them together, as real as the air they breathed. His lips closed over hers, kissing her possessively, and she kissed him back with equal fervor, desperate to touch him. The pull between them was too much, yet not enough. His hands all over her body, pulling at her dress, hers frantically removing his waistcoat and shirt because she wanted – no, needed – to feel his bare skin on hers again. They were spiraling towards full madness. Nothing else mattered except his mouth dragging down her neck, trailing a path of heated kisses. On his knees now, she clutched his hair as his mouth sought out her breasts. The friction from his mouth laving her hardened nipple over the fabric of her dress was electric. She couldn’t take it, rolling her head back at the sheer intensity of it. 

"Colin! What are you doing?”

Penelope's eyes flew open. 

Standing on the other side of the room was Eloise, watching them with complete horror on her face.  

#polin #penelope x colin #colin x penelope #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #never you #my fics

[dollypopup]

y'all can all cancel me (again) for this, but if there's even a SHRED of 'who should I pick?' from Penelope in season 3, I am tuning out SO fast because like. . .sorry not sorry, there IS no choice. Debling is some crusty OC suitor she barely even knows and Colin is a man who she has been so supposedly in love with to the point where she'd ruin her entire family's reputation to have a potential love story with him. Penelope and Colin have background, years of knowing each other, intimacy that few people in the Ton can boast of having (letters, conversations about purpose, fights and arguments and makeups) and her and Debling have. . .a dance or two at a ball because he's a rebound for Penelope's broken heart. he means nothing. he has no nuance, he has no weight to the story, he is such an afterthought to me. either I wanna see Penelope going 'you know what? I don't even LIKE this dude. he's. . .fine, but I don't care about him even a shred as much as I care about Colin' or the INSTANT Colin's like 'you know what? we should get married' if it's not an immediate 'say less, you're already my husband, try returning me without the receipt, Debling whomst?' then I don't want it!

like. . .it's just so frustrating to see all the 'I hope Debling sweeps her off her feet and she rejects Colin's proposal and she makes him work for it and and and-' nonsense from the fandom and it's always tagged and no matter how many times I block it, it just keeps popping up. I go into the Polin tag for POLIN. I don't give a SHIT about a male love interest other than Colin. Not one. Not a shred. Not an iota.

and also. . .Debling has the 'benefit' of not having depth, or character traits, or HISTORY, so peeps can project onto him however they want, but I'm calling it now, there is NOTHING he could do or be that would make me like him more than Colin. Colin will always hit different, and I will always love him more. and if Pen's not on that same page? lol bye

you want me to believe Penelope and Colin are soulmates and it's romance for her to hem and haw about how difficult a decision it is for her to marry a stranger who knows barely anything about her. . .

when Marina was out here dropping banger lines like 'You were the only man with which I could see myself being happy' and 'I do not care about any of these men, where is Colin?'? like hello??? and she wasn't even fully in love with him!!!! but we'll demonize her until the cows come home in our fandom and make her the villain in Polin's love story for DARING to get in between Polin, yet Debling, a white man, is a darling dear perfect prince for getting in between Polin? existing in our fandom solely so Penelope can be like 'lol, Colin ain't shit, let me entertain any and everyone else'?

if that's the direction it goes then, ten toes down and on my mama, she doesn't deserve Colin and she can move because I'm on my way to court him my damn self

and that's that on that

#you know what? lol it's been a bit since i've posted a controversial opinion #tagging it #polin #sorry not sorry i ship polin. . .so i wanna see. . .polin. . .and i'm getting damn sick and tired #of all the bullshit pen/oc pen/other dude theories and stories in the polin tag #and i don't want polin to lose screentime over a frankly bleh male oc #you can't change my mind #if i don't see at least marina's 'you've seen him with the little bridgertons!' level of squee and 'i only want to talk to colin' #levels of devotion then i don't fucking WANT IT!!!!! #yeah definitely try out the marriage market #realize that NO ONE has a good time on the marriage market #try to get over him w/ whomstever #but then be like 'i don't even LIKE this dude where's colin i miss him' about it!!!!! #because otherwise i am not here #i am asleep #and i am courting colin in your place pen #i'm coming for your man #anti debling #if debling has 100 haters i am one of them if he has 10 haters i'm one of them if he has 1 hater i am the hater if he has 0 haters i'm dead #it's incredibly obvious that 'pebling' is half rooted in a revenge storyline fueled by anger at Colin and his complexity #and half a projection of wanting Penelope to have 'choices' because she is a representation and manifestation of the fans themselves #and so people think an OC that can be 'perfect' for them- whoops I mean Pen (because he doesn't have any real depth or interest) #he's a cardboard cutout we can throw whatever you want onto #so we can make him 'perfect' instead of the much more meaningful storyline of pen and colin both being messy and loving each other more #and part of it is bitterness over Polin not being insta-love #which. . .if it was i wouldn't like them as much as i do #anyways y'all ain't slick #and it's fucking WEIRD to be in a fandom that's like 'i ship this couple but i hope she gets with ANYONE else' #maybe you. . .don't ship the couple?? #like. . .to the point of wanting her necklace to be from debling. . .and her wearing it everywhere??? WHAT??

[rubysunnday]

did she have a cookie?

requested by anon: I would like to request a Bridgerton!sis imagine in which the reader drinks the tea that Benedict had mixed the powder thinking of it as ordinary tea. And Colin and Benedict try to keep her out of trouble. And she gets emotional at the end. A fluffy ending. Thank you

a/n: just like editing, i cannot make a just happy fic

summary: Don't drink the tea unless you want to have a trip of a lifetime

Summer at Aubery Hall was always enjoyable. The late nights spent outdoors, playing games until the sun had long gone - being able to gallop across the fields without stopping.

It all brought Y/N so much joy and excitement. But, naturally, her mother had to ruin it with the mention of suitors and marriage and all the grown-up things Y/N didn't want to think about.

Since she'd woken up that morning, she had been avoiding her mother. Y/N had skipped breakfast, hidden in the library, and was now up near the nursery, searching for anyone to free her from her bordem.

She could hear Colin and Benedict in the nursery and approached the door, wanting to know what they were on about.

"What are you two doing?"

Colin turned in his chair to face the nursery door. "Talking, why, what are you doing?"

"Avoiding our mother," Y/N grumbled, walking further into the nursery. "She will not stop talking about suitors and marriage and it is driving me insane."

Colin pulled out the chair to his left and Y/N sat down in it with a huff, crossing her ankles. "You look like Eloise when you do that."

"Of course I do, she is my twin," Y/N snapped. Coline raised his eyebrows and Y/N groaned. "Sorry."

"Is she truly that awful?" Benedict asked, pouring Y/N a cup of tea before leaning back in his chair.

Yes. "No. Well, yes, but I know she means well. I just want to enjoy our time here before we return to London and society and -"

"All the joys that come with it?" Colin suggested.

Y/N nodded. She sat up in her chair, leaning forward. "She does not pester you two."

"Probably because we are men," Benedict replied. "Besides, Colin is not here enough for her to pester him."

Colin smirked, bringing his tea to his lips. "That was my plan all along, dear brother."

Y/N sighed, reaching for her tea. "I understand that this is my entire future but," she sipped the tea, "would it truly be so awful if I became a spinster? I hate society anyway."

Benedict looked thoughtful for a moment. "It would be lonely, I think. Always on the outskirts of events. From what I have seen - and been told - there is not really any place for an unmarried woman in society."

"That seems like society's problem," Y/N muttered. She blew on her tea and took another sip. "Not mine." Y/N hesitated, holding her cup close. "Marriage scares me."

Colin and Benedict shared a look.

"Not like that you idiots," Y/N hissed, catching their look. "I know enough about that. I meant in the way that I have to spend the rest of my life with this one person - unless they die of course... we can always hope."

"Where are you going with this, Y/N?" Benedict asked wairly.

"What if the person I marry starts off lovely but then turns into a horrible human being?" She asked.

Colin sighed softly. "Then, we would sort something out. There is always a solution, one way or another."

Y/N drained her tea, grimacing at the aftertaste. "Urgh, Benedict, you need to work on your tea-making skills, this is disgusting."

"What are you own about?" Benedict asked, frowning. "You love my tea."

"Well, not this one. It was disgusting," Y/N said, setting the cup down and pushing it away.

Benedict looked at the cup. His eyes slowly widened as he realised that there was another cup directly next to it, still full of steaming tea. "That was my tea."

"Oh. Sorry."

"Colin, she drank the tea," Benedict said, slowly, looking at his brother.

Y/N frowned. "It is the same tea. Is it... not?"

Colin opened his mouth and then promptly closed it again. He turned to his sister. "How do you feel?"

"Fine. Brother, you are scaring me slightly."

"No, no, it is nothing to worry about," Colin replied quickly. "I think," he added quietly. "It is just that I gave Benedict this new tea I brought back from my travels and it has a certain... effect on an individual."

Y/N blinked. "Colin Bridgerton, did you just drug me?"

"No, no, no, I drugged Benedict."

"And inadvertently drugged me!" Y/N exclaimed. "Oh, my god, we have dinner with the Sharma's and Lady Danbury tonight. Colin, is there a way to reverse it?"

"Well, I assume throwing up would work, but I fear it might be too late," Colin replied, trying not to laugh.

"Colin, don't you dare laugh," Y/N snapped. "This is not funny!"

"Alright, both of you calm down," Benedict said, holding his hands out. "Y/N, you will be fine. Will keep an eye on you and stop you from making a fool of yourself."

"That does not reassure me in any way," she grumbled. "Fine. But do not tell Anthony or mama, I am embarrassed enough as it is."

"If they find out we shall simply blame Colin," Benedict told her, patting her hand sympathetically. "I blame Colin a lot, it makes my life easier."

"I am still in the room!" Colin exclaimed.

"Fine," Y/N grumbled. "But if I start going mad, please just knock me out or something."

High Y/N was not something Benedict nor Colin had been prepared for.

It had taken about twenty minutes for the drug to actually start working. At first, it had just been like she was a little tipsy. A stumble here, a giggle there. But then the tipsy turned to drunk and soon it became clear that Y/N was high as... well, a high person.

"Mother is going to kill us," Colin muttered, holding Y/N's arm tightly.

Benedict nodded. "As is Anthony," he added. "Why does this house have so many stairs?"

Y/N missed a step and both brothers lurched forward, catching her before she lost her balance entirely. Their younger sister just giggled, swaying happily between them.

"Benny, you have such pretty eyes," Y/N said, her voice unusually high-pitched. "Oh, look, that's gorgeous."

Y/N freed herself from her brothers and dashed down the final few steps, rushing over to a bronze statue. Benedict winced, fully expecting her to fall flat on her face as she jumped the last step, but Y/N kept her balance.

"Y/N, do not," Colin swooped over and took the statue from her, "touch the statue."

Y/N crossed her arms and looked grumpily at her brother. "You have gotten meaner since you came back."

Colin gaped at his sister. "Excuse you!"

"What, it's true! You are incredibly annoying!"

Y/N turned on her heel and flounced down the corridor, heading towards the dining room. Benedict took one look at his brother - who still looked incredibly offended - and snorted.

"Don't take it personally, brother," he said, clapping him on the shoulder.

"Does she actually mean that?"

"Everyone means it."

Colin shot his brother a withering look. "Come on, before she breaks something."

Somehow, Benedict and Colin managed to arrange the seating so that Y/N was sat in between them, opposite Eloise and Miss Sharma - but far away from Anthony and Miss Edwina. They were both hoping it would minimise the chaos caused and mean that Anthony was none the wiser.

"Peas make me sad."

"What?" Colin asked, turning his head sharply to look at his sister. "Peas?"

Y/N nodded, gently prodding a pea with her fork. "They are such a sad vegetable. It must be quite lonely to be a pea."

Eloise stared at her twin across the table, utterly confunded. She looked at Benedict and Colin, reading their shared glance in an instant. "What did you two idiots do to her?" She whispered.

"We didn't do anything," Benedict whispered back. "She drank the wrong tea."

"Please explain," Eloise said, raising her eyebrows.

Benedict sighed. "Colin had this tea -"

"That makes you feel like you're floating on a piece of grass?" Kate cut in, keeping her voice quiet.

Colin blinked at her. "You know it?"

"I tried it once. I ended up floating on my back in a river because I thought I was flying."

Eloise turned from Kate. "You drugged my sister?"

"Our sister."

"At this moment in time she's mine," Eloise told him. "You two drugged her."

"We did not -"

"Miss Sharma, you look very beautiful tonight," Y/N said dreamily, resting her chin on her hand as she stared at Kate.

Kate pressed her lips together tightly, trying not to laugh. "Why thank you, Miss Y/N."

"I wish my brother would just admit he lo-"

Benedict leant over and clamped a hand over Y/N's mouth, drowning out the rest of her sentence. He knocked his knife off his plate and onto the floor, the noise temporarily silencing the dining room.

"Everything alright, Benedict?" Violet asked warily, glancing over at him.

"Fine, mother," Benedict replied, quickly letting go of Y/N. "I knocked my knife."

After a few more wary glances their way, everyone eventually went back to their conversations.

"Our dear sister evidently does not have a filter," Colin muttered, picking up Benedict's knife and handing it to him.

"I only hope dinner ends before she talks to Miss Edwina," Benedict replied, slapping Y/N's hand gently as she went for his potatoes. "Otherwise Anthony may murder us."

Luckily for both brothers, Y/N's dream-like state was beginning to wear off. Instead, they were faced with an overly-emotional Y/N whose body was trying to detox from a drug she'd never had before.

The rest of dinner passed uneventfully. Anthony made a speech which Y/N didn't so much as acknowledge - she was too busy staring mournfully into a candle - and then everyone excused themselves, almost all deciding to retire for the night.

"She looks so sad," Y/N said softly.

Benedict turned, seeing that his sister had stopped halfway up the stairs. "Who does?"

Y/N pointed up at a painting high up on the wall. "She looks so very sad."

Benedict looked up at Colin, who just shrugged. With a sigh, Benedict pivoted and jogged back down the stairs, standing next to his sister.

He looked up at the painting, one he hadn't necessarily realised was there before and squinted slightly. "I suppose so, yes."

"I always see her when I leave my room," Y/N continued, her voice small, "yet I never asked who she is." She looked up at her brother. "Is that what will happen to me?"

"What will?"

"I'll just be... forgotten about? No one will ask who I am when they look at my portrait?"

Benedict stumbled over his words for a moment. "I... Y/N, I don't think -"

"If you think about it, I suppose that's all we are," Y/N said quietly, her voice catching occasionally. She sat down on the steps and pulled her knees up to her chest, wrapping her hands around her ankles. "All that is left of our father is a painting in the study."

And suddenly, the amusement of the night vanished. Benedict felt like the air had been sucked right out of him. He looked up at Colin and cursed quietly when he saw his brother had vanished.

"Y/N..." Benedict sighed, sitting down beside her. He clasped his hands together, glancing at the signet ring on his little finger. "Father is not just a painting. He is in this house, he's in all of us... he's in Anthony's infuriating pocket watch -"

"But the image of him is gone. All we have is an artist's impression that probably is not even that accurate," Y/N countered. "I know he is still here but I do not remember what he looks like. Because the painting is just that - a painting. Someone's depiction of him as Viscount Bridgerton. Not my dad."

Benedict closed his eyes. He had nothing to say to his sister because she was right - as always. Memories are fleeting and the mind can warp things in many different ways. How his sister remembered their father was possibly entirely different to how Benedict remembered him - how Anthony remembered him.

"I would like to go to bed now," Y/N said softly, lifting her head up and looking at Benedict.

"Of course."

Benedict stood up and held out a hand to Y/N, pulling her to her feet. They walked up the rest of the stairs, side by side, in silent company. Y/N only spoke once - and that was to utter a small night to Benedict as she headed to her bedroom.

Utterly stumped, Benedict exhaled slowly, putting his hands on his waist. He dropped his head, looking down at the floor.

"Where is she?"

"Well she was - oh."

"Oh?"

"Well, she was here!"

"Colin Bridgerton, I swear -"

Benedict leant over the bannisters. "What are you two doing?"

Anthony and Colin both looked up at him. Colin had evidently found Anthony in his study for his older brother was wearing nothing but his dress shirt and trousers, looking utterly exhausted with a slight hint of concern. Benedict stared at them expectantly.

"Where's Y/N?" Anthony asked, taking the stairs two at a time.

Benedict glanced at Colin. "Did you tell him -"

"Of course, he told me!" Anthony exclaimed, raising his voice only slightly, not wanting to wake the rest of the household up. "Y/N is his soft spot - of course, he buckled and told me. Where is she?"

Benedict nodded at the door behind him. "She went to bed. Anthony, I didn't say anything to bring it on -"

"No, it's fine. I've been expecting someone to have a moment about father whilst we're here - grief is unpredictable." Anthony wanted to add I would know but decided against it. "I had mine this morning."

"The grave?" Colin asked softly.

Anthony nodded tightly. "I am still incredibly pissed that you two drugged her."

"We didn't -"

"You were going to drug him," Anthony snapped, pointing at Colin and then at Benedict. "You, shush." He softened slightly, adding, "but thank you for looking after her."

Benedict gave him a tiny smile. "She's not asleep," he said, pointing at the door.

"I know, she's not."

Anthony brushed past his brother and knocked quietly on Y/N's door. He waited a few seconds before he opened it, stepping inside with gentle footsteps.

"They told you?"

His sister's voice was quiet. She was curled up on the top corner of her bed, hugging a pillow and looking out the window. Her dress was still on and she'd had a half-hearted attempt at taking her hair down. Anthony slowly walked over to her, perching himself on the edge of her bed.

"Colin has a soft spot for you."

Y/N smiled half-heartedly. She picked at the tassels on the corner of her pillow, looking out at the grounds. "I knew coming back here would be hard," she said quietly, "because it always is. I just did not expect this year to be so difficult. I suppose being high does not help."

Anthony nodded. He crossed his ankles, exhaling softly. "When we first returned here after... after the incident, it was incredibly difficult. His presence is still here - I can almost feel him watching me, sometimes."

"I went into your study earlier, looking for you," Y/N said quietly. "That's when I saw the portrait. I have seen it before - there's one back in London as well. But it just occurred to me that... it is simply a depiction of him. Of him as a viscount, not him as a father."

"I see." Anthony sighed. "That portrait looks down on me every single day of my life and I have studied it until my eyes went blurry. I sometimes look to it for advice - asking what would you do? But I know that it is not our father. It is simply Viscount Bridgerton. Our father smiled, for one."

Y/N ducked her head, smiling at that. Anthony pushed himself further back onto the bed and laid down next to her. Y/N rolled into his side, still hugging the pillow.

"I remember when Daphne first began to learn the pianoforte," Anthony continued, his hand absently tracing circles on Y/N's arm, "he used to dance around the room with you. He would lift you up and let you put your feet on top of his shoes and then you would do a waltz around the room together."

Y/N closed her eyes, a few tears escaping down onto her cheeks. "I wish I had something, so I knew what he looked like in those moments."

Anthony reached down to his waistcoat and pulled his father's watch out. He grabbed Y/N's hand and gently placed the object in her palm, folding her fingers over it.

"I carry this with me everywhere I go. It reminds me of him and it reminds me that he is still here - in the little things we all do. He had this on him every day of his life, up until he died. So, whilst it is not a painting, it is still something of him when he was our father."

Y/N rubbed her thumb along the back of it where EB was engraved. She sniffed softly, carefully dabbing under eyes. "Thank you. For this and for not getting mad at me for being high."

Anthony let out a breath of laughter, resting his chin on top of his sister's head. "Technically, you were not to blame for that."

"I thought the tea tasted weird."

He laughed, pressing a kiss to her hair. "You should get some sleep," he said, preparing to move.

Y/N grabbed his wrist. "Can you stay? If you are busy, you do not -"

"Of course, I will stay," Anthony said firmly, lying back down. Y/N smiled tiredly at him and his heart ached as he caught a glimpse of eleven-year-old Y/N, clinging on to him when he returned back after being away.

"You are the best brother," Y/N told him, reaching down and pulling her duvet up and over them both.

"Well, I am the only one who did not get you high."

"Gregory had no involvement but I am sure if he had been old enough, he would have been the instigator."

"Oh, of course, he would. You know, Greg actually shares father's love of pranks."

Y/N lifted her head, looking at Anthony. "Really?"

"Mmhm. He once put glue, in Benedict's shoes. Benedict was furious, naturally..."

Anthony proceed to tell Y/N all the stories he could of their father until her eyes could stay open no more and his voice was hoarse. He knew he was never going to be his father - but he hoped that he was close enough.

#bridgerton #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton sister #bridgerton!sis #bridgerton sis #bridgerton x platonic!reader #platonic #bridgerton platonic #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton imagine #benedict bridgerton x reader

[crazyk-imagine]

I Mean It

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!reader Characters: Fem!reader, Daphne Bridgerton, Anthony Bridgerton, Benedict Bridgerton, Colin Bridgerton, Simon Basset Warnings: Fluff, cringey content, this has been in my drafts for a while, it’s more modern than our classic Bridgerton time, I manage to write the most heartfelt sentences a man could say like five minutes before I have to go to work, no regrets for this bad boy, anthony and the reader denying their feelings, anthony breaks so he can have the reader, daphne and benedict are very proud of their plan, vague backstory for readers ex, the reader being the smartest when it comes to bridgerton sibling fights, I hope you all can find it in you to enjoy this  Word Count: 2,662

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Another line left in yet another book for you, I see,” Daphne teases you. 

You roll your eyes. “Would it hurt you to quiet down.” 

“Yes, truthfully. It would.” 

“You exaggerate.” 

“I do but only because you don’t want to try and figure out who it is? Or even suspect that maybe it could be-” 

“It’s not him, stop trying to bring it up every time we’re here.” 

She opens the door, gesturing for you to go inside. “Chickens first.” 

You narrow your eyes at her, “rude.” 

“I am not rude. I merely, tell the truth.” 

“Like I believe that.” 

“Believe whatever you want but when your secret admirer comes to light. and it is A-” 

“Good morning, ladies,” her older brother greets with a smile, having some idea that he was interrupting but not seeming to care (or so he lets you believe). 

“Good morning to you too, Anthony,” she returns with the same upbeat he had in his tone, only stressing his name as she turns back to you. 

You ignore her and smile, nodding your head to greet him. 

“Daphne, you have five minutes before your shift.” 

Her head snaps in his direction. “What? Why? I have more than five minutes before I start.” 

“That was until you started showing up late and not staying to lock when I needed you to.” 

“But I had plans before coming in and you know that.” 

“I do, which is why your lucky mother doesn’t know about what’s going on right now. I ask that you start your shift now because I need you to take over, okay? I need to be able to focus and give my full attention to the next wave of customers to come in.” 

“Kind as ever, Anthony.” 

They give each sarcastic smiles before she runs off toward the back of their family’s shop. 

You’ve always loved coming here, not just because of the company but because it has each family member’s touch. 

You have Anthony as the head of everything, making sure everything runs smoothly. 

Benedict creating news pieces to put up for display or customers to buy. 

Colin... he’s not as much involved as a few of the older siblings, but he does help out when it comes to calming down a particularly angry customer. Now that you think about it, he’s more of a diffuser than anything. 

Daphne is basically a manager assistant but doesn’t work like it, she likes working in the book section of the store (not just because it gives her an excuse to have girl talk with Eloise and vice versa). 

None of the other siblings have yet to step into the role of working here, nor have they talked about it. None of the older siblings seem to mind, if they decided they don’t want to (maybe Eloise, but even then, she’s just teasing them). 

You realize you’ve been too lost in your thoughts. 

Daphne shakes her head, knowing that you have, in fact, gotten lost in your thoughts and Anthony could care less. 

With her other friends, he’d be grumpy and force them away from the door slash the edge of the register-counter combo but with you, it’s an entirely different story and she doesn’t know how you don’t see it. 

No matter how hard she tries to persuade you into knowing that he does, in fact, feel the same. It just means she has to try harder and open your eyes. 

Anthony moves you away from the doors, not wanting anyone to bump into you. He lightly shakes your shoulders, wanting you to stop looking dazed. 

You owlishly blink, “what?” 

He narrows his eyes, furrowing his brows in confusion. “You were thinking about something.” 

“Was I?” 

“Definitely.” 

“Sorry, I’ll just- I'm going to get out of your hair.” 

He opens his mouth to argue but you halfway away from him before he could. 

-

“How was your morning interaction with Anthony?” 

You shrug, “fine.” 

“He’s still staring.” 

“No, he’s not.” 

“He is.” 

“I don’t believe you.” 

She chuckles, restocking the bookshelf. “Then look for yourself.” 

You pout, furrowing your brows in annoyance. “I will.” 

Anthony turns away as fast as he can, immediately helping the next customer to walk through the door. 

“He wasn’t.” 

“He was.” 

You’ve never been one to give into her ideas, she thinks it’s because you don’t see it, but the truth is, you don’t want to give in and get hurt. 

Your previous boyfriend was a bit of a, what’s the right phrase... ah, right, a dick. 

He was nice in the beginning, treated you like you were a princess which included saying and doing all the right things. 

But things slowly took a turn, and he wasn’t as nice, he never laid a hand on you, but he ruined the mental image yourself and it took a while before you told Daphne about what happened... or even went over to the Bridgerton household after you two parted. 

None of her brothers know, you were barely brave enough to tell Violet what happened. 

Another reason Daphne feels you and Anthony would be good together, she knows he won’t treat you wrong; he’d take care of you and won’t let you down. 

“Do you want to have dinner tonight?” 

“What are you thinking?” You ask her. 

“Something filling but not too expensive.” 

“That could be anything,” you giggle. 

“I know.” 

-

Benedict nudges Anthony, as the latter’s lips curve upward as he watches you look happy. “Ask her out.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Chicken.” 

“Get back here you lit- hi, welcome to the B-Ton Store.” 

-

Daphne texts you that she can’t make it and sent you something better. 

A knock on the door pulls you away from the TV, you’re still unable to decide what you want to watch tonight. 

You look through the peephole and are surprised to see another Bridgerton at your door. “Anthony?” 

“Sorry, I just- Daphne told me you’d be here alone and I- mother told me to come over.” No, she didn’t. 

“Oh, okay. Come on, come on in.” 

“Or I could- I could leave?” 

“No, this is better than what I had planned.” 

“Not going out tonight?”

“Exactly.” 

“I see you have some bags with you,” you comment. 

“Observant, aren’t we?” 

“Don’t be mean, Anthony. I am starving and you interrupted me.” 

“Were you cooking?” 

“Not exactly.” 

“So, I didn’t interrupt.” 

“That’s rude of you to say.” 

“I brought your favorites.” 

“My favorites?” 

“Yes.” 

“And how would you know my favorites?” 

“Please, you’ve been to our family home so many times, I think it would be a crime if I didn’t know what you liked.” 

You resist the urge to smile. “Let’s go set these down in the kitchen.” You try to grab a bag from him, but he pulls away. 

“I know where it is and I am a gentleman, I won’t let you carry any of these.” 

“Anthony-” 

“No.” 

You sigh and follow him. 

“Go sit in the living room and find a movie or something I can tolerate because I know you were watching one of those romance movies, I can’t watch any tonight.” 

“Why not?” 

“Francesca and Hyacinth forced me to watch one too many this weekend.” 

“Oh, okay. So, I’m going to go and find all of mine.” 

He lets out a fake chuckle, secretly watching as you walk out of the kitchen. He shakes his head and starts setting up the plates. 

You click off the movie you were watching before and search for a comfort movie of yours. 

He enters, handing you your plate and setting his beside you while he runs into the kitchen to grab drinks before setting down beside you. 

“I told you; you don’t need to serve me here. You’re the guest.” 

“It’s okay. I got it.” He sits down beside you. “What are we watching?” 

“Something.” 

“Oh, I see. I feed you and you don’t tell me what we’re going to watch.” 

“Exactly.” You don’t think you’ve ever been alone with him before and it’s nice, usually you two are civil towards one another but this, this just feels different. 

You glance to the side when you hear his voice mumbling along to the words. “Do you-" You hesitate in the middle of the question, unsure how he'd react if you do. 

He doesn't move and before you know it, you're asking him. 

"Do you know the lyrics to this?” He pauses, not wanting to answer you but he knows you and you aren’t the kind to stop asking until you get an answer. “A few lines," he answers vaguely. 

“More like all of them.” 

You bounce in your seat. “When did you learn them?” 

He shrugs, pushing himself off the couch, taking your plates into the kitchen. The corner of his lips twitch at your excitement, suddenly his sister’s pestering doesn't seem like it was as torturous as he thought. 

You don’t care to pause the TV as you follow him. “You can’t just avoid the question. You know more than Daphne does and she’s seen this more times than I could count.” 

“I- I don’t know. I heard… you listen to it and it sort of... got stuck in my head.” 

“So, you played it until you somehow knew all the words, didn’t you?”

“I’m not going to answer you.” 

“Why not?” You whine. 

He shakes his head. 

You take a step closer, leaning against the counter. 

"You should go back and watch the rest of your movie." 

"But I want to know when you learned all the words." 

"Just," he sighs. "Go back into the living room and maybe we'll talk." 

"Anthony." 

He sets the plate in the dish drain before wiping his hands on the dish towel you keep beside the sink. "I will not ask you again." 

You don't know where this change in behavior came from, but you don't... not hate it. 

"Fine, you really want to know?" 

You nod even though he's not facing you. 

He spins around, setting the dish towel back in its place. "I learned because my sister's longest and closest friend always sounds so- there aren't enough words for me to use to even begin describing how lovely you sound while singing along." 

He takes a step forward. "You also have no idea how much you're in my head. It drives me insane almost because I wake up and think of you. I go to bed, and I think of you. Before I realized what I feel for you, I hated you." 

You furrow your brows and thin your lips as if you're in pain. 

"But when I talked to my mother about it." He leans against the counter with one hand close to you. "She told me it's not hate, it's love. She also told me to stop acting like a fool but here I am." 

Your brows shoot up in surprise, you turn to give him your undivided attention. "Anthony?" 

"I learned all the words to that musical that's still playing because I wanted us to have more in common. I wanted you to know that I can and will learn all that I can so that I may be closer to you because this- this relationship you have with my family is worth too much to lose." 

The warmth on your cheek isn't just from his confession, he cradles your cheek as if you'll break. "I don't want to scare you with how deep my feelings for you are, so I'll start with saying I like you more than a friend or family friend. I want to-" 

"To what?" 

"I told you I don't want to scare you." 

"What if," you gulp. "What if it won't? I mean, what if I actually like it and you just think I won't." 

"Is that what you truly feel?" 

"I-" 

"Because I think you're acting tough, and you don't mean it. I think you're pretending to want to know just so you can have an excuse to turn me down." 

"What do you take me for?" 

He leans in, "someone who denies themselves the right to be happy." 

"I- No. You're wrong. I am plenty happy." 

"But you can have more." 

"Why are you pushing this so much?" 

"So, you can stop being sad." 

That certainly surprised you. "You deserve nice things too. Even as much as finding the one you'd be able to spend the rest of your life with." He pulls away and you crumble. 

"What if I did find him and it took me a while to realize it?" 

"Do you think you'd be happy with me?" 

You nod. "I know I would." 

He stands in front of you, blocking you, evidently trapping you in between his arms as he leans in and smiles; not moving any further, not wanting to pressure you. 

You know that too which is why you're equally as shocked when you pull him in for a (long awaited) kiss. 

One of his hands slides away from the counter to hold onto your waist, keeping his other on the counter. He smiles at you. "Do you want to go back into the living room and finish your movie?" 

The corners of your lips twitch. "Maybe." 

"Come on," he mumbles, guiding you with one hand resting on your low back. 

You don't know why you're feeling so shy all of a sudden. 

You two sit back down and rewind to where you were before his confession, only this time, you’re not as far from the other. 

You curl into his side, mouthing along to the words as his voice travels through your ears. 

-

Daphne knocks on the door, arriving earlier than you expected, curious as to what happened between the two of you but also because you have plans for lunch before going to her family home. 

She groans and hangs up the phone again, her patience is wearing thin. She knocks on your door harder than before. “It’s me, open up before your neighbors think I’m a burglar.” 

The door swings open, her jaw drops at the sight of Anthony with you curled into his side. 

“Well, well. Now I know why you haven’t answered your phone.” She lets herself inside, leaving her brother to close the door. “We have plans, say goodbye to your girlfriend so we can get ready and then go out to lunch.” 

“Is it where I made your reservation for?” 

“Of course.” 

“I’m coming too.” 

She whines, “no you’re not.” 

“I’m hungry too and it’s under my name. You would have forced me to come sooner or later.” 

“But that was before last night.” 

He raises his brows. 

“You two are a couple now and I won’t have enough time to spend with my friend because you’ll be dragging her around with you.” 

“I won’t be dragging her-” 

“Fine, coupley things.” 

“You can do coupley things with Simon.” 

“It’s not the same.” 

“What if,” you interrupt the two. “What if we go out together?” 

They both are ready to object when you quickly add, “you, me, Anthony, and Simon? We’re going to your family’s home anyway, why not all four of us hangout?” 

Neither of them object, seemingly going along with your idea. “Good. Daphne and I will get ready while you go back to yours then we’ll meet at the restaurant?” 

He nods, pulling back into his grasp. “I’ll leave on one condition.” 

“What’s that?” You ask with a smile. 

“A simple kiss.” 

You peck his lips. 

“That’s not what I meant.” 

Daphne lets out a fake gag as the two of you make out. 

“Go away, Anthony. You’ll see her again soon.” 

Once he’s left, she drags you into your room. “Tell me everything.” 

“Daph!” You chuckle. 

“Spill.” 

“No.” 

“Come on,” she whines as you walk into the bathroom. 

“I don’t kiss and tell.” 

“Oh!” She chuckles, “fine. I’m just happy he stopped leaving you those notes.” 

“He what?” 

“Nothing. Nothing. Finish getting ready.” 

#Bridgerton #bridgerton fanfiction #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton imagines #anthony bridgerton #anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x female reader #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton imagines #anthony bridgerton x fem reader #anthony bridgerton x fem!reader #crazyk-imagine

[audiblehush]

Listen, Polin has been my Roman Empire for months now, but this fandom is WILDIN’.

Chunks of this fandom who claim to be Polin fans seem to hate either Colin or Penelope and I’m just like… why are you here, then, if you refuse to empathize or even TRY to understand either critical half of the pairing?

“Colin can’t see what’s in front of him and he insulted her in front of his peers!! GROVEL; I hope Pen moves onto Debling!!!”

First of all, you’re not a Polin fan if you hate Colin so much you want her to move on to someone else. Second of all: yeah, no. Yes,Colin put his foot in his mouth, arguably in a big way because of status, but plenty of people in real life have experienced saying something that came off poorly to a group of people. Everything we know about Colin’s character tells us he is going to feel horrible about it; he’ll apologize, MEAN IT, and she’ll forgive him. She has her own apologies to make.

Believe it or, it is NORMAL for people to grow into romantic feelings slowly. Stop punishing Colin for discovering who he is by experiencing his own character arc with his own mistakes. He’s allowed to have flaws; he’s allowed to work through his insecurities!

Tbh, most of the criticisms I see of Colin are pretty surface-level and petty, so I don’t give them much real estate in my brain because they’re just… bad, lol.

On the flip side -

“Penelope feels entitled to Colin’s feelings; she’s selfish and the fucking worst!!”

S3 Penelope: *overhears Colin say he would never court her; BELIEVES him - decides she’s going to stop wasting her time, move on, and look for a serious suitor and marriage prospect a) as is expected of her in this era and b) so that she has security, especially considering her family’s dire financial straits.*

“Oh my GOD, this is so anti-Polin, how could she POSSIBLY even THINK about accepting a proposal from anyone but Colin?! GTFO”

SIGH, 1) we have NO IDEA how this plot line is going to pan out: Lord Debling may or may not be serious about her, we don’t know what that even looks like, or for how long. The show synopsis historically likes to play with the fandom expectations a lot. He may possibly propose… and if he does, it would clearly exist as a sort of parallel to S1…. but 2) GOD FORBID Penelope entertain the idea, despite very real fears and evidence that would lead her thinking it would likely be her ONLY proposal… or that even if Colin proposed post heavy-petting session, how on EARTH could she think that he would be doing it out of honor-bound obligation and not love. 🙄 Her potentially considering a proposal isn’t anti-Polin; it’s a realistic response and consideration to two (and likely an additional half) seasons worth of external and internal stressors that are tying into her character development.

Penelope’s heart is fragile for a multitude of reasons due to her home life, her prior experiences with Colin and Eloise AND the rest of the ton - it’s incredibly frustrating for people to ignore why she would potentially not believe Colin even if he DID confess / give her a marriage proposal, just like it’s frustrating when people don’t try to understand why Colin might struggle with his own feelings.

Some of y’all really don’t understand people like Penelope who have been told their entire lives that they are not enough, are terrified of putting themselves out there by being emotionally vulnerable and potentially rejected for the fundamental aspects of who they are… even though some of y’all claim to identify with Colin when he has his OWN STRUGGLES WITH SOME OF THESE SAME FEARS. And it’s almost worse because Pen is painfully SHY: You don’t just magically become confident one day because you decided to be; it is a constant battle against negativity that eventually becomes heavily internalized… it takes years of work unlearn those thought patterns, especially when you’re surrounded by people insulting and rejecting your to your face (her family) or behind your back (the way the ton talks about her family… it’s likely Pen heard gossip about herself, whether individually or as an extension of her family PLENTY)… with an added dose of also being ignored when not actively insulted.

It would not shock me at ALL if Penelope genuinely considers a Debling proposal. All of Colin’s actions in S1 and S2 have ultimately taught her that he is never going to return her feelings; she is likely going to be pretty oblivious to his own romantic realizations this season because why would she look for or entertain those hopes again? Some of y’all complain that she is selfish about Colin’s romantic feelings (which lol, I disagree strongly, but sure hypothetically, I’ll allow it) … so then when she tries to move on by listening to him and his actions she’s suddenly… punishing him and undeserving of him?? When she would have every reason to be skeptical of these feelings coming from seemingly nowhere when he starts of the season trying to find her a husband? NAH fam, she’s doing what anyone with any sense of emotional self-preservation would do: move on and try to be content, even if she knows she’ll always love Colin in her heart.

AND even if Penelope develops potentially fond feelings for Debling… do you really think it’s unrealistic for a 19 year old young woman who has done nothing but pine over a man who is oblivious to it (or worse, finds a romantic relationship with you laughable… in her eyes), who has not had ANYONE be romantically interested her… to maybe get a little fluttery around someone who is reasonably nice looking and shows her genuine interest right off the bat? Spoiler Alert: that is probably exactly what would happen because it’s a heady feeling!!!

This entire plotline is either a parallel to the Marina situation, or a reference to the book line that basically has Colin going “Oh shit, what if I had never realized Pen is the love of my life?? What if someone else had seen how amazing she was and snatched her up??” - Maybe it’s even both! Deep breath: it’s a just plot device for Polin to realize they’re made for each other.

Colin and Pen are going to be on their own journeys this season that fly in the face of what the other is going through. Colin is grappling with newfound romantic feelings for Penelope (while likely struggling to trust them because he thought he loved Marina but lol no he didn’t, so how is he supposed to know???) while also battling against former (and potentially current) impulsive actions… and Penelope is fighting for her LIFE trying to bury her feelings and move on because she’s trying to protect her heart because Colin literally said out loud he’d never want her AND she’s likely thinking of her security. They are both grappling with internal conflicts that oppose the other and THAT is what is going to make the tension and development so good… and that’s without even addressing all the LW stuff that needs to get worked through!

I need y’all to flex that empathy muscle a little and realize that this isn’t about fucking fan-service, or you projecting your own experiences onto these characters (or even the weird self-insert “I am/want to be this character” or “I want to fuck this character”) - you can relate to these characters but ultimately it’s about the STORY - it’s about exploring these characters realistically in how they would react to their own traumas and lived experiences, and how what they think they want/need comes into conflicts with their counterparts.

This is a romantic DRAMA, and these characters are going to have their ups and downs… and it’s a Shondaland drama for better or worse, so you KNOW it’s going to get messy (good lord just look at S2 and how far that “love” triangle went… I’m hopeful for the new show runner because she’s a fan).

Polin will be canon because they unreservedly CHOOSE the other and it will be glorious, so everybody chill the fuck out and stop shitting on my imperfect, emotionally fragile yet beautifully relatable, evolving lovers. They are the BEST fucking ship, but most of this fandom doesn’t deserve them tbh. They’re both messes in their own ways, and honestly? If they were real, neither Colin nor Penelope would tolerate this slander y’all are throwing at the other.

LEAVE COLIN AND PENELOPE ALONE AND LET THEM MUDDLE THEIR WAY TO TRUE LOVE. 🤬

#polin #bridgerton #I have faith in the writers because nic and luke understand their characters and they are happy with it #thank god this fandom isn’t in charge of the writing - Colin and Pen deserve writers who LIKE them and UNDERSTAND them #in all their glorious messiness and complexity #Colin would be throttling some of y’all with how you slander Pen #and Pen would have destroyed the Colin haters with a stroke of her quill #power couple #I just want to gush with people over how much I love these two characters #and instead it’s fucking character bashing in their own damn ship #I love fandom but I also hate it

[astaraels]

You don’t get how bad I need your fem!gallavich headcanons 😭😭 (that being said pls - with no pressure - share some 🙏🙏🙏)

OKAY DON'T WORRY I'VE GOT A LOT OF THEM TO SHARE WITH YOU I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR SOME GOOD WLW FEM!GALLAVICH FEELS (these may be a little all over the place but just roll with me here okay? okay here we go)

to start with, Ian is a nickname for Lillian, Mickey is a nickname for Mykhaila (Ukrainian feminine form of Mikhailo)—they'd still go by Ian and Mickey, because if Lip can be a nickname for Phillip then all bets are fucking off :p

technically all of this started with my brain going "lesbian gallavich with hella self image issues" because they don't feel like they can measure up to their "prettier" sister (Mandy and Fiona) but both of them thinking the other is gorgeous as hell. Mickey being kind of a femme/butch (which is why she's the one who calls the shots with her brothers, she's the tomboy compared to Mandy), and Ian wanting to be all pretty and femme but doesn't think there's a point to it because money and also she doesn't think highly of herself

things would be way different for them both as lesbians—Ian would definitely still be the forgotten middle child, although she and Lip would still be Fiona's backup ("you two are my rocks") because I refuse to believe that girl Ian wouldn't be just as committed to ROTC and fitness as canon Ian. She'd be able to kick anyone's ass any day of the week. I think she'd really look up to Lip and ofc he'd love Ian as his little sister but like, with the same kind of condescending vibe he gives Fiona and Debbie? Although maybe since they're practically twins his misogyny toward Ian wouldn't be as blatant.

she'd still be taller than him (tallest Gallagher no matter what!) and have long red hair that she just throws back in a bun or ponytail all military style. I can't see her having short hair just because short cuts can be a lot to maintain, better just to let it grow and keep it pulled back. (I know, I've thought way too much about the little stuff lol)

Mickey would be very punk. With an undercut and all kinds of piercings. Mandy gets more attention from boys but Mickey does get her share, although of course she's like blegh. She'd rather be kicking ass and taking names and proving to her dad that she's just as good at being a fuckin Milkovich as Iggy and Colin—she's got more brains than both of them combined and she's smart as a whip when it comes to doing math, as well as where scamming people is concerned. Terry would begrudgingly acknowledge this but never misses a chance to put her down because she's just another dumb bitch. Only serves to make Mickey more determined to show what she can do, though, and her brothers and cousins are no match for her when it comes to scrappy back alley fighting. She climbed to the top of the heap early on and punches out anyone who tries to take her on.

Ian absolutely falls in the lesbian stereotype of wearing flannel constantly. I feel like she would want to do girly sorts of things but like, doesn't feel she'd measure up to Fiona or other girls so she just sticks with "comfortable" as her main fashion staple. Her and Debbie probably share a room too, although as I said above, she's still super close with Lip. Debbie would ADORE her big sister, would look up to and admire Ian because they've got so much in common—it might even be that she finds Ian's lesbian porn and that's how she knows about it ("penetration isn't required for sex to occur").

I'm not sure how they'd meet in this au but it would still probably involve Mickey chasing Ian around trying to beat her up lmao. my original thought was maybe like, either Mickey chased after Ian because of something Lip did in a reverse of canon, or Mandy thought Ian was talking shit about her. Regardless, the idea of 5'1" Mickey chasing after 5'9" Ian is hilarious especially because I feel like Ian would end up being almost six foot tall by the time she's done with puberty.

even once Ian and Mandy end up being bffs (there'd definitely be some miscommunication, but Ian doesn't wanna get murdered by the Milkovich siblings, so she manages to clear the air with Mandy when she can get away from Mickey and their brothers), Ian probably wouldn't tell Mandy she's gay, gotta keep that shit on lock. So once they're besties she's gotta endure all the boy talk and be like oh haha yeah totally…but at some point Mandy would figure it out, probably because she's not dumb and also Ian "play what cool" Gallagher is not as subtle as she thinks she is. But Mandy, other than asking if Ian has the hots for her ("you're beautiful, but I like you better as my friend"), is actually pretty chill and realizes she doesn't actually mind hanging out with a lesbo. Yes, Ian and Mandy and Mickey would use all the derogatory slurs that get used towards lesbians, although Ian is used to the casual homophobia and Mickey is the most homophobic gay ever (I feel like she'd definitely call herself a fag and a dyke once she gets more comfortable in her identity).

idk how the whole grooming thing with Kash and Ned would transfer over—maybe Ned would be some rich lesbian cougar who wants a kept girl or something. But that's unfortunately a big part of Ian's character, the middle kid who's the only one to be physically abused (and yeah, Frank would still hit Ian, boy or girl), and is desperate for any kind of affection so attaches to anyone who gives it. Kash might be a (seemingly) meek wife to some bruiser of a husband who's short and has small dog syndrome, and that makes her sympathetic in Ian's eyes, thus making it easier for her to take advantage of Ian. I try not to think about Kash too much but it is an important part of Ian's self-image

I'm gonna talk about s3 in its own post because I have some Thoughts and Ideas for some changes to make things interesting :p

season 4 would be really even more depressing because I think that when Ian is manic (there'd be no running away to the army because she couldn't use Lip's identity; instead she'd go straight her sugar mama and from there calls Monica when things get too wild) she'd end up getting pimped out by Monica to really gross straight dudes—not that there aren't creeper lesbians who like younger women, but in general it'd be easier for her to find a job stripping at a regular club (lesbian bars don't seem to have the same opportunities as a straight bar or a men's gay bar do wrt making money). Poor Lip and Debbie finding her in the skimpiest outfit, worse than anything Fiona ever had to wear for a job, with way too much makeup on and dollar bills tucked in her underwear, coked out as hell, skinny enough you can see her hipbones, brain and mouth going about 300 miles a minute...ugh.

But Mickey coming and bringing her home safe and sound <3 beating up the skeevy guys trying to roofie her <33 watching over Ian while she sleeps <333

In a happier train of thought, I love the idea that Mickey really likes Ian's long hair and plays with it when she's not really thinking and Ian gets all 😍😍😍 because it means Mickey might like her omg. Mickey has a partial undercut and Ian loves the texture of the shaved part of her hair. Tells her not to let it grow back out and everything.

Mickey having to stand on her tiptoes to kiss her stupidly tall gf ("You're too tall, Red" "Complain all you want, Mick, you know you like it”). Mickey likes getting manhandled but only by Ian—anyone else tries it and they're losing a hand. But Ian shoves her against a wall and does her whole cocky, smug, looming thing and Mickey can't help but melt in her arms (not that she'd let Ian know about it, not at first; gotta make Gallagher work for that shit. Just cause she's a fag doesn't mean that she's anyone's bitch!).

I also like to think that Ian would try the super femme thing in s4 era and Mickey, once out, would be a little more comfortable being more butch, but they both come off as a mix? I just love the idea of fem!gallavich playing with gender stuff in that very specific lesbian relationship with gender—on one of Mickey's more butch days Ian jokes and calling Mickey her boyfriend and Mickey being like oh

personally I feel like Mickey in her dyke era (s5) is an absolute pint-sized powerhouse, and still an absolute fashion icon because those cut-off vests? the tank tops? perfection🤌🏻

most of my thoughts are of early gallavich because I think things would go much differently since Sammi can't call the MPs on Ian in this au, but lemme just say that there's some fun stuff I'll be adding in another ask to add to the DRAMA

#gallavich #fem!gallavich #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #shameless #leinth answers #rule 63 all the things

[ash5monster01]

Perfect To Love Part 14

Pairing: Steve Harrington x FemReader!PlusSize

Warnings: fluff, mentions of bullying, body image issues, fat shaming, angst, trust issues, language.

Summary: Beth Walker was used to living in the shadows. She had only one friend and anyone else who paid her mind usually bullied her for her size. So she learned to keep her mouth shut, her head down, and her heart closed because she had to accept the fact that she would be nothing more than the fat girl to people. That is until Robin decides Beth needs more in life and that might just include a boy who she never would’ve thought could see her for who she truly was.

word count: 2,848

Part 13 ←→ Part 15

Masterlist

Neither Alan or Allie fought Beth when she said she wasn’t going to school that morning. After all it was the day before Thanksgiving break so how much could she really be missing? So they both left for work, leaving Beth alone in her bed to stare out at the small inch of snow that covered the earth. It would probably melt and return a few times until winter completely swallowed them whole, but for now she would be heartbroken while the earth froze and for some reason that thought made her somewhat content.

Steve had called Robin in a panic, telling her that he had tried to call Beth only to be told she didn't want to talk to him. Robin had tried to call herself only for Allie to inform her of the same thing. She tried to recall ay moment, maybe something that happened at school that could make Beth shut them out, but she came up completely short. She assured Steve that it could be something else bothering her entirely and she would talk to her tomorrow. But when Beth didnt show up for school Robin found herself worrying more and more that maybe it was something that she did.

“She’s not here” Robin grumbled once she was sat in the front seat of Steve’s BMW his head on a swivel, searching each of the Escorts in the parking lot in hope to find hers.

“Something has to be wrong” Steve finally said and Robin sighed as she leaned back in the seat. She wasn’t used to being shut out.

“Obviously Steve, any clue what it could be?” she didn’t mean to sound so rude but the sarcasm and annoyance was unavoidable while she stressed about her friend.

“Not a thought” he muttered, eyes still scanning the parking lot in hopes she’d appear.

“What’d you do?” both of the teenagers jumped as Dustin appeared in the back seat of the car, slamming the door shut behind him.

“Jesus Dustin, what do you even mean?” Steve asked, a hand over his heart as he tried to calm its pace.

"Beth didn't show up to free period with me and Eddie and she would never miss school. So what did you do?" Dustin accused, pointing at Steve and ready to skin him alive for any wrong doing to his new friend.

"Nothing, I dont know. Me and Robin both called last night and her Mom said she didn't want to talk to us. We're just as confused as you" Steve defended himself but Dustin wasn’t fully convinced.

"Well we better figure it out before she goes to New York for Thanksgiving" Dustin said leaning back in the seat and buckling himself in. Confused looks plastered across both the older friends faces and Dustin almost rolled his eyes.

"She's going away?" Steve started to ask because he felt like this was something he should have known but maybe he just missed it, forgot. No way he could've forgotten.

"Look we'll worry about that later but I have a plan, drive to Beth's" Robin said and Steve obeyed, shifting the car into gear, and taking off down the roads covered in a soft layer of white snow. They all were relieved to see the Escort in the driveway but neither of her parents vehicles.

After a mostly silent ride, everyone experiencing different thoughts over this disappearing act Beth had pulled. Steve racked his brain and hated to admit that his thoughts always went back to Colin. He probably said something and ruined it, upset her, and he was fully prepared to kill him if need be. Robin worried that she got scared, scared of being with Steve, and not thinking she was good enough, and she was ready to prove her wrong. Where Dustin fully stood behind the fact the two idiots had done something whether it was intentional or not.

"So what's this masterplan?" Steve asked nervously, stomach doing somersaults over the fact she was just inside.

"This" Robin said as she grabbed a stack of books from her bag. "It's Beth work for over break, I collected it for her so I had an excuse to come here"

"Genius!" Steve praised and Dustin rolled his eyes. They were definitely both idiots.

"Look give me just a minute and then I'll give you guys a signal to join me" Robin said and they both nodded as she slipped out the car and into the cold. They watched as she stood on the porch, raising a nervous hand to ring the doorbell.

Beth groaned audibly as she heard the doorbell ring throughout the house. Quickly she tugged on a hoodie as she rushed down the stairs to see who from her mothers church group she'd have to turn away. Yet when she glanced through the peephole she was met with her twitchy and nervous friend Robin. Ex friend. "I don't want to talk to you"

"I'm not here to talk" Robin said after flinching from the response her friend had given her.

"Robin, you always have something to say" Beth sighed out, almost so quietly through the door she didn't hear it.

"Beth I have your school work, I'm worried about you, that's all" Robin counter offered and Beth pressed her forehead aginst the door wishing she would’ve just let whoever rang the doorbell go away.

"Just leave it on the porch, please" Beth said sounding a bit strangled from trying to fight off the tears that were burning to come out.

"Beth what did I do, why are you shutting me out?" Robin ignored her request and Steve and Dustin both noticed she was talking to the closed door, only assuming Beth was on the other side.

"Just leave it Robin" Beth finally cried out and Robin sighed as she leaned to set the stack of books at the foot of the door. Steve hit the steering wheel as he watched Robin retreat back to the car and jump inside to escape the cold.

"Let me try" Dustin said, pushing himself out of the back seat before Steve could ask what had happened. Dustin wrapped his arms around himself, the wind pushing his hat back slightly as he approached the door. He was about to ring the doorbell when he still heard Beth's soft cries on the other side.

"Beth, what’s wrong?" he called out and Beth gasped slightly at the sound of Dustin's voice, backing away from the door so he couldn't hear her.

"Nothing Dustin, don't worry about it, please" she called back and Dustin sighed as he tried to keep from shivering in the cold.

"We're all so worried about you" he said and Beth felt more tears burn at her eyes because choosing to leave behind Steve and Robin included everyone else including this sweet young boy who had become such a good friend to her. That thought broke her heart even more as she considered that in the friend divorce they would all get the kids she had come to know and love.

"I know Dustin, and you're the best for checking on me. I just need to be alone" and before Dustin could respond he heard her footsteps rushing up the stairs. The pair in the car watched his shoulders drop as he returned to the car himself after another failed attempt.

"That was a bust" Dustin said as he closed himself into the warmth of the vehicle. Steve's heater working over time. "She ran back upstairs before I could say anything else"

"Robin which room is hers?" Steve questioned and Robin gave him a confused look before pointing to the left window above the canopy of the porch. "I'll be back"

"Wait Steve, dont get hurt!' Robin called after him but he slammed the drivers side door shut while ignoring her. Dustin leaned forward to watch as Steve jogged up the porch. As if he had done this a hundred times before he was swigning a leg to stand on the rail. He used one of the beams to keep balance as he stood up, twisting his body to grip the edge of the canopy, and begin to pull himself up. Steve had always been strong because of swimming and basketball and now he was strong from staying in shape to fight monsters. Thankfully it came in handy as he finally got majority of his body on the canopy and he was able to walk across and face her window.

Before he tapped on the glass he saw her curled in bed, the room dark as she shook with tears and his heart broke. He wanted to know what he had done, what they could do to fix it. Giving in he tapped on the glass just to see her jump before looking at him with a tear stained face. Beth went against her better judgment and stood to open the window. Steve couldn’t help but smile as she revealed herself to him as he sat crouched out her window. "You're gonna get hurt"

"It was worth the risk" he told her and she sighed, using the sleeve of her hoodie to wipe her face clean of tears. "Can I come in?"

"I don't think you should" she responded and he tried to hide his disppoitnent in her response. Sighing he leaned closer into the window, heart accelerating at how beautiful her hazel eyes looked. So clear from the tears she had let fall. Beth wished he didn't look so handsome himself, hair fluffy and lashes covered in soft snowflakes. She wanted to kiss each one of them away.

"Why are you shutting us out?" Steve asked and Beth sighed, more tears fighting to come to her eyes. He wanted to reach out to her, hold her, but he was worried he’d scare her away.

"I stopped into Family Video yesterday" Steve gave her a confused look, clealry recalling she hadn't been there because she had work herself. Then it dawned on him that him and Robin had been talking about her at work, talking about their plan, that she had been using the back door lately. The exact one he knew you could hear crystal clear through because he had done it himself.

“Oh Beth, you don't understand-" but Beth was holding up her hand, stopping his defense because she didn't want to hear anymore bullshit from either of them.

"Did you know Colin told me he had feelings for me?” Steve was confused again as he let these words sink in. "He told me he hated himself for being attracted to me when everyone else bullied me for being ugly and do you want to know what I said to him?"

"What?" Steve whispered, never have seeing Beth this angry before. It was like he had pushed her past the sad part and now she was just frustrated.

"I told him I ended up with you because you got to know me without someone asking you too, and that made all the difference" Steve sucked in a sharp breath as she told him this, realizing that in a way they had done her wrong. The intentions were pure but maybe she was right. Maybe Steve would have never looked at her without Robin asking him too.

"Beth, please let me explain" she was shaking her head and Steve felt his heart collapse because she had already decided he wasn't worth it. Just like everyone else did.

“I don’t need an explanation Steve. I get it. Robin is your friend and maybe you have changed, it’s not your fault you can’t be attracted to me. You were just being a good friend to Robin” Beth said and Steve realized she had it all wrong. Robin may have asked him to spend time with her but falling for her was all him.

“That’s not it” he started to shake his head but the look she gave him made him stop.

“Please, I can’t be hurt by you again. Let me go” and as Steve went to open his mouth and stop her again she was sliding the window close, clicking the lock, and shutting the curtains. He let out a defeated sigh as she completley shut him out and tears began to rim his eyes. He was angry and hurt for her. He thought he had changed but maybe he didn’t because if he did he would've given Beth a chance and not just now but on that first day of freshman year.

Carefully he made his way back down the canopy and onto the porch where he jogged to his car now that he was completley frozen through. Robin and Dustin looked at him curiously as he settled in his seat, cheeks red and bitten from the cold. He took a moment to absorb the heat, keeping his eyes forward because he was pretty sure he was about to cry and he didn't want them to see that. He didn't want to be pitied because this was his karma, he deserved it for being an asshole all of those years. He was no better than his father, Tommy, Carol, or the rest of the assholes at that school.

"Well, did you see her?" Robin questioned and Steve sighed, glancing out the window to blink away the tears that came to his eyes.

"She came to Family Video yesterday" he said but it didn’t occur to Robin as quickly as it did Steve.

"No she didn't we had a dead shift, we spent majority of it putting away tapes and talking" Robin argued but Steve finally turned and gave her a pointed look.

"And what were we talking about Robin?" again she looked confused but then it dawned on her, realization covering her features.

"She thinks I made you do it, and you were pretending" Robin said and Steve nodded as she buried her face in her hands.

"Do what?" Dustin asked from the back seat but he went ignored.

"She's upet because she thinks I was using her and she's upset that you put her in that position" Steve said rubbing his hands together to regain some warmth.

"Oh God, did you try to explain that it wasn't like that?" Robin asked, heart now aching because she truly was the reason her friend was hurt and now she was no better than all those other kids that had hurt Beth all these years.

"Yeah but she didn't want to hear it. She told me Colin admitted to having feelings for her, that he hated himself for feeling that way, and she told him that the reason we ended up together is because I got to know her without someone asking me too" as Robin gasped Dustin started to piece together what exactly they were talking about.

"Robin you made Steve hang out with Beth?" Dustin whispered and they both turned back to look at him, uneasy looks on their face.

"It wasn't like that, I wanted Steve to get to know her and I figured if people saw Steve with her they'd give her a break. We planned nothing else, we swear" Robin told him and Dustin fell back into the seat with an annoyed chuckle.

"She has every right to be mad you guys, you used her. Your intentions may have been good but what if Steve didn't like her, he was pretending the whole time, and she found that out. That is so shitty of both of you. Of you doing it to her and Steve for going along" Dustin said as he began the shake his head, now angry with both of them too.

"I didn't think of it like that when we first planned it" Robin said, tears now rimming her eyes as well because she broke her best friends heart. That was all her.

"You shouldn’t of planned anything, you could've just brought her to movie night with no plan in place and hoped for the best" Dustin said now looking out the window and away from either of them. He had warned Steve not to hurt her and he loved his friends but he began to love Beth too. Now he was going to lose her because all of them were idiots.

"Let's just give her space, maybe when she gets back we can reach out again and apologize" Steve said putting the car into reverse as Robin quietly cried in the front seat. He was trying not to cry himself, driving through blurry vision because he had hurt beth whether he intended to or not and now Dustin was mad at him.

"If it's any consolation Dustin I did fall for her, whether it was intentional or not" he said as he drove in the direction of his house and Dustin just grunted in response because he knew Steve was telling the truth but that didn't change what had happened.

After all how do you convince the girl who thought she could never be loved that you really did fall for her?

Taglist: @kindablackenedsuperhero @rinarecommends @starryeyedpoet17 @crustless-toast @loverofmarsss @alexa-33 @bethanysnow @middle-of-the-earth @princessadriana4-blog @mochminnie @legendaryhumandiplomatgoop @a-lil-bit-nuts @i-came-as-bostonian @krazyk99 @thunderstomp-and-tequila @cumslutforaemond @futuristicbirdtraveler @unholyhuntress

Comment if you want to be added the the tag list :))

#steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington smut #steve harrington x oc #steve harrington stranger things #steve harrington fic #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x y/n fluff #steve harrington x fem #steve harrington x plus sized reader #steve harrington x original character #steve harrington x ofc #steve harrington x y/n smut #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington series #steve harrington slow burn #joe keery fic #joe keery #joe keery x reader #joe keery fanfiction #joe keery x y/n #joe keery imagines #joe keery x you #joe keery steve harrington #steve stranger things #stranger things

[booboodaddysblog]

Illusory hope

Warning: smut, p in v, betrayal, fight, blood, gun, almost death, tying, crying

Words: 6781

Patience... some people have none, and some have it in excess. Patience also has a connection with loneliness and hope. Is it worth it to hope that someday things will be as we would like them to be?

- I can't stand it! - Colin paced around the social room holding his hair almost pulling it out - I can't stand it any longer like this!

- Dude, what's the matter with you? Is it about that girl from the hotel? You've been talking only about her for a long time - a policeman named Kevin was sitting at the table. He was looking at Colin's behavior - You would stop doing these laps already, it makes me sick - he said biting into his sandwich.

- I don't care about your sandwich - he said, pouring himself a cup of coffee and sitting down at the table.

- You would focus on your work, not on some girl out there - he said with his mouth full.

- What do you know! You have, a wife and three children. You don't have to worry about your social life anymore.

- You're right, I don't have to. I have it good, hot lunches, sandwiches for work, coffee in a thermos when I go to work in the field. I'm seriously not complaining. Only the kids could be quieter sometimes. Then it would be perfect - he laughed - Do you miss sex, man? Somehow you're so nervous.

- Of course I miss it. Self-pleasure in the shower is not the same as with a woman.

- And any one-time actions? You've had a few recently, right?

- How do you know? - Colin furrowed his eyebrows.

- This town is very small, and the police station is even smaller. What was her name? That last girl, Lana? - He laughed out loud.

- This is already too much, I do not like that you have such information about me - he got up from the table and put the cup in the dishwasher.

- Well, you know, I'm not the only one who knows this. Still the guys from ...

- Stop, I don't give a shit what anyone says about me. Focus better on your work, not on gossip. That sounds like jealousy - he showed him his tongue and went to his office.

Kevin stared for a moment at the door with which Colin had just disappeared. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to eating his sandwich.

Colin rushed into the office and sat down at his desk. He booted up the computer and the archives.

"Search: Hotel Cortez"

- Maybe there is an unresolved case - he said to himself.

He scrolled through the documentation and came across two unfinished cases.

"Missing tourists from Colorado. Not found."

"Young couple from Texas. Not found.”

He quickly ran out of his office and ran to Mare.

Without knocking, he entered her office.

- Mare, Mare! I need a search warrant for the Hotel Cortez, right now! - he leaned against her desk and smiled broadly.

Mare looked at him silently, crooking with displeasure.

- This is why such an invention as the door was created. To give people at least some privacy and silence. Start knocking, Zabel. You're starting to annoy me more and more - she returned to her reading.

- Mare, I'm sorry, but I'm so excited that I completely forgot to knock. I'm sorry - he sat down - Mare please, I need it, it's urgent.

- Hotel Cortez? After all, we gave up on these things a long time ago. If I remember correctly, there were two.

- Yes, exactly two. A female tourist and a married couple. Both cases involve disappearances. I have read that the basement and catering facilities were left out during the search. Why?

- That was four years ago. You were not here then. These rooms were left out because there was some big party in the hotel. There was a lot going on in the kitchen. We didn't want to make a fuss.

- And the basement? - He asked curiously.

- There was a renovation there and a lot of dust. We gave up and said that we would return to the subject when it was quieter in the hotel.

- But you didn't come back.

- Exactly. And what about this, Mr. Detective?

- I want to search the basement of the hotel - he said excitedly.

- Alone?

Colin looked at Mare for a moment, thinking.

- Okay, you come to me with such enthusiasm, you almost tear my door out of the frames, and now you don't know what you really want? You can go crazy with you! - she rolled her eyes - don't you have anything to say? Just come out and let me work - she pointed to the door - there is a door there and please close it gently.

- Oh no, Mare! I really know what I want. Don't make me leave because I'm silent for a few seconds - he said exasperatedly.

- That was one second too long - she sighed.

- Okay! Yes, I want to go alone. I'll take the gun, I don't know why but I'll take it. Just to feel safe. Can you get me that search warrant? Please - he smiled as broadly as he could.

Mare stared at him. She shook her head in displeasure and dialed the number.

- Good morning, boss, I want to ask permission to write a search warrant for the Hotel Cortez, again. Yes, exactly the two uncompleted cases. Of course. Zabel, he wants to go alone - Mare covered the phone and turned to Colin - When do you want to go?

- Today, if it’s possible.

- He says he wants to go today. Yes sir, I will have the relevant documents prepared. Thank you, boss.

- And? - Asked Colin nervously spinning in his chair.

- Yes, you have the approval. At 11:00 come to me for both warrants.

- I need as many as two warrants? - He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

- Of course! Is this the first time you work in the police? You need a separate warrant for each case. There are two, which means two warrants. Get out of here. I have a lot of work - she pointed to the door again.

- Okay, see you later. Thanks.

Colin walked contentedly down the corridor, smiling from ear to ear. In his head he was already laying out a plan of action. What he would say, how he would act. He just hoped that the hotel owner would react and respond the way he would like. That is, he would cooperate with him.

- Dude, there's really something wrong with you. I think you need a vacation - Kevin snapped him out of his reverie.

- And you need a diet and a gym - Colin rebuked him.

- Not true! My wife says I look sexy!

- Maybe he needs glasses - he added, entering his office. And he was already about to close the door....

- I'm about to punch you in that beautiful face, Zabel!

Colin leaned out into the corridor.

- I don't advise it, I don't want you to cry, or worse, lose your job - he laughed and closed the door.

He expected Kevin to burst into his office and say something else, but that didn't happen. He laughed under his breath and set about putting together an action plan for the day.

He couldn't wait to see the woman who had been in his head all along again. It had been two months since their last meeting. Two months too long. Of course, he remembers that she asked him not to speak to her again... It's not that easy. He became very attached to her. He felt comfortable in her company. He missed it. He didn't get his hopes up that it would be more than a brief conversation. He just wanted to see her and make sure she was okay. Let's hope he wouldn’t regret it.

——————————-

It was approaching 11:00 a.m. He picked up his things and documents. He went to the bathroom, fixed his hair and smiled at his reflection in the mirror.

- You can do it, you're the best! - he sighed loudly.

He took his coat and briefcase with documents. He locked his office and went to Mare to get the warrants. This time he knocked on her door.

- May I? - He opened the door.

- Yes, it's nice of you to ask. Maybe there will still be something from you. Here are your documents. Take care and if something happens call - she smiled.

- I hope it won't be necessary. But thanks. See you tomorrow, Mare - he put the documents in his briefcase and left.

————————

He arrived at the hotel quickly, parked in the nearest parking lot and headed for the hotel. He nervously swallowed his saliva and fixed his hair. He felt himself getting hot. He stopped in front of the entrance wondering if he was doing the right thing. Finally, he entered the hotel. With a slow step, he headed toward the reception desk. He looked around the hall. There was no one in the lobby. He looked nervously behind him, it seemed to him that someone was watching him. He approached the reception desk. There was no one here either. He rang the bell a few times. He heard a noise and some conversation in the next room. A woman looked out and smiled broadly at him.

- Good morning, how can I help you? Do you have a reservation? - she said looking at the stranger, although she thought she had seen him before.

- Good morning. I don't have a reservation. I came here about the disappearance of four people.

- Ah, you are from the police.

- Yes, Detective Colin Zabel. I have a warrant to search the hotel again - he reached into his briefcase and pulled out the relevant documents. He placed them in front of her.

- I understand, however, I am not so competent to give you any information. Please wait, I will contact the owner of the hotel. He will give you answers to all your questions. I'll be right back - she returned to the room she had left earlier.

Colin looked around the lobby again. The first time he'd been here, he hadn't had a chance to explore. The hotel would be lavishly decorated, with lots of gold and large crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. The owner had taken care of the smallest detail.

He sat down on the couch and breathed deeply. Suddenly he jumped up, frightened.

- Good morning, Mr. Detective… Zabel. If I'm not mistaken - a man dressed in a smart suit was standing in front of him. He was smoking a cigarette and looked at him with superiority.

- Good morning - he got up from the couch and held out his hand toward him to greet him - Colin Zabel, detective.

- I understand - he looked at his hand, but did not shake it, only smiled artificially - James Patrick March, I am the owner of this hotel. How can I help you, Mr. Detective - he inhaled his cigarette and blew the smoke in Colin's direction.

- Hmm... - he moved away from James and looked at him angrily - I came to resume the case of four missing persons. Who are believed to have disappeared on the grounds of your hotel. I have warrants to search again - he handed him the documents.

James looked at the warrants, then again at Colin and again at the warrants. He inhaled heavily on his cigarette and let out the smoke loudly. Then he inhaled again and let the smoke out through his nose. He shook his head with disapproval. He returned his eyes to his interlocutor.

- Yes... yes... it's really interesting - he handed the documents back to Colin - very interesting. Just curious about one thing, namely. What is the real reason for your arrival at my hotel? I know perfectly well who you are, Mr. Colin - he smiled mockingly.

- I don't know you and I see you for the first time with my eyes. The only information I have about you is that you are the owner of this beautiful hotel.

- Truly fascinating. But it seems to me that you know a lot more. Since you are so secretive, I will tell you who you are. You are the would-be lover of the lady of my heart. My bird in a golden cage. Please don't think I'm stupid. I saw through you right away - he stabbed him in the chest with his finger - I do not agree with the nonsense you come here with. And, of course, I know that this is just an excuse to meet Roberta, by chance - he inhaled his cigarette again - please leave the premises of my hotel. You know perfectly well where the exit is.

- Unfortunately, you cannot refuse. If there is a warrant, you cannot object. Please allow me to carry out these activities. Otherwise, the FBI will step in and the hotel will be closed for the search. And I do not guarantee that it will be open again. Your choice - Colin clenched his hands nervously on the briefcase. He was starting to get hot. He stated that he would still say something - I would also like to confirm your words regarding Roberta. Yes, I was hoping to meet her and ask her how she is, if it's not a problem - he swallowed his saliva loudly.

- This is not quite what I wanted to hear, but I will go back to the first part of your statement and summarize. You are threatening me, Mr. Zabel. I don't like it because I am not being threatened. You should have known that before you crossed the threshold of this building. Please leave this hotel.

- No.

- No… no... Well, we'll talk differently - He grabbed Colin by the sleeve of his coat and pulled him toward the room near the reception desk, locked the door behind them - Lizzie, watch that stupid boy. The poor guy doesn't know who he's messing with.

Colin looked confused, not knowing what was going on. He looked at Lizzie. He wanted to look at James again, but the latter had disappeared somewhere.

- What's going on?

- I think you have a problem, the boss doesn't like it when someone contradicts him. But I won't say anything more.

- I don't understand why I was locked up here.

Lizzie sat down on a chair and took a book in her hand.

Colin looked around the room. There were lots of bookshelves, a few cabinets and a glass display case with the keys to the hotel rooms. There was also a second door. He walked over to it and grabbed the handle.

- I don't advise it and they are closed anyway. Besides, there isn't even anything that interesting there - Lizzie said without lifting her eyes from the book.

- Let me out of here, please. I'll leave the hotel and never come back again - he said in a pleading tone.

- I have no say in the matter.

Suddenly the door to the reception side opened.

- Follow me, Mr. March invites you upstairs - a maid entered the room.

- I'm not going anywhere. Please let me out of this building! - shouted Colin.

- I don't think so. Please follow me - she moved so that he could pass - if you cooperate, Mr. March will not harm you.

- Harm?!

- Oh, please forgive me, sometimes I don't think before I say something - she laughed nervously.

- I'm not going anywhere - he stopped at the reception desk.

- Mr. March asked me to tell you that Mrs. Roberta is waiting upstairs.

- I don't know if I can believe that - he furrowed his eyebrows.

- Oh, Mr. March never lies. Please follow me.

Colin said no more. He moved behind the unknown woman. They entered the elevator and went to the 5th floor. The woman smiled warmly at him, he did not reciprocate it. The elevator stopped and they stepped out into the corridor. They stopped in front of a door that said:

"SERVICE ROOM"

- Feel free to come inside - she smiled warmly at him again.

He turned his head in her direction, but she was gone. He was alone. He pressed the door handle and went inside. The room was dark. The door closed behind him with a quiet click. He tried to fumble for the button to turn on the light on the wall. Suddenly he felt a sharp headache and almost fell. He was hit on the head with a blunt instrument.

- What's going on! Who is here?! - he shouted still trying to find the light switch. Under his fingers he felt the handle. He pressed on it. The door was closed.

Again he felt the impact, this time he lost consciousness and fell inertly to the ground.

He woke up with a sharp headache. He was all achy. He opened his eyes, the light was on. He looked around the room. There were racks of clean linens and towels. There was a chute in the wall for dirty laundry. He tried to get up from the chair, but was tied. His hands were tied behind his back and his legs to the legs of the chair. He looked at the floor and saw a blood stain. He didn't know if it belonged to him. He licked his lips and felt the taste of blood on his tongue. He had dried blood under his nose.

- Hello, is anyone there! Hello! Someone free me! - he tried to cry out for help, but to no avail. He sighed loudly and closed his eyes.

- I think your screams will be of no use. No one will hear you. These walls are soundproof - James approached the wall and stroked it proudly - ah, my greatest creation.

- Let me out - said Colin in a calm voice.

- I don't know if this is a good idea - James walked up to him and forced Colin to look at him - be cultured and look at me when I'm talking to you - he waved the hammer in front of his nose - I really liked this tool, it's really effective.

- What do you want to do with me?

- I wanted to play, just like you played with the lady of my heart. Did you have fun?

- I only kissed her. Nothing more happened - he answered again in a calm voice. He knew there was no point in shouting.

- You just kissed her... just kissed her... just! Or maybe, not just! - hit him in the face with the fist. His head sprang back and he felt blood pouring from his nose again. He also felt blood in his mouth. He hung his head trying to control the pain. He watched his blood drip onto the floor.

- Why are you doing this to me? Is it all because I didn't want to leave your hotel? - He spat out the blood. The puddle was getting bigger and bigger.

- You messed with the wrong man my boy. Didn't Roberta ask you the previous time not to come here again? Are you stupid? Don't you understand what is being said to you? - James punched him in the face again. Colin spat blood on the floor in silence.

- Why don't you try to fight? Have you given up? - James laughed out loud - silence is your greatest weapon? - he walked closer to Colin and unbuttoned his coat, looking into his pockets - wallet, police badge, pen, some papers... just junk... - he unbuttoned his coat more - oh please what we have here - he was pleased to see a gun under his arm. He unbuckled the gun and pulled it out - a beautiful toy - he looked at the gun from all sides and weighed it in his hand - perfectly balanced. Your private toy?

- Yes, private - he spat out blood again.

- I like it - he opened the magazine and began to enumerate - one in the right foot, the second in the left foot, the third in the thigh, straight in the artery, the fourth... hmm... let me think - he scratched his chin in thought - let it be in your dick, although you will never need it again anyway, but it's better not to risk it. Well the last one... right on the forehead - he laughed out loud - I will be kind and not let you suffer for a long time. Appreciate my kindness - he approached Colin and stroked his head - well then where was it? - he pointed the gun at his right foot.

Colin closed his eyes waiting for the pain.

- Mr. March? Should I clean up already? - The maid entered the room carrying a bucket of water and a cloth.

- Mrs. Evers! What am I telling you all the time! I will inform you when something needs to be cleaned! Please get out of here! - he shouted at her pointing a gun at her.

- Ah Mr. March, I would give my life for you again!

- Please get out of here! Immediately!

- Excuse me - she walked out.

- What do you mean "again"? - puzzled Colin.

- Silence!

- This is interesting.

- Boy, you're digging yourself a grave - James pointed the gun at the towel rack and fired. A loud bang sounded and several towels and pieces of wood fell to the ground - I wasted one precious bullet - he rolled his eyes.

- Maybe somehow we can get along? - Colin tried to save his situation.

———————

Roberta heard a knock on the door to her room.

- Please come in - she said putting down her book - Lizzie, welcome!

- Honey, you won't believe it! - Lizzie quickly ran up to her.

- What's going on? - Roberta noticed the terror in her eyes.

- Colin!

- What Colin?

- What do you mean what Colin?! Roberta! - grabbed her hands and forced her to get up from the couch.

- Oh God! What is he doing here?! Where is he?! - she started pacing nervously around the room.

- He is with James.

- With James?! Oh God! Where is he?! Speak up! - grabbed Lizzie by the shoulders and shook her.

- They are on the fifth floor in the bedding warehouse. I don't know if Colin is still alive. I was at the door and eavesdropped. I heard the sound of a gunshot - Lizzie covered her face with her hands.

Roberta fell to her knees and burst into tears. Lizzie came up from her and tried to help her get up. Her legs refused to obey.

- Roberta! Get up, we have to go and save him! Maybe it's not too late! Maybe he's alive! - she grabbed her hand. They ran out of the suite and headed for the elevator.

- Faster, faster! - cried Roberta.

- It's here! - They entered the elevator - Fifth floor!

- I'm about to pass out, I'm weak! Lizzie... - Roberta leaned against the glass wall of the elevator and hugged her cheek to the cold mirror.

- Breathe, breathe...

The elevator stopped on the fifth floor. This time they walked slowly and quietly. They didn't want to make any noise in case James was still with Colin. They walked up to the door and started listening. The room was quiet.

- I'm going in - said Roberta - I have to see if he's there - she pressed the handle and carefully pushed the door open.

- Be careful - whispered Lizzie.

Roberta went inside and was horrified by what she found. In the middle of the room stood a chair, and on it sat Colin. He was tied up. His head was hanging down and he was unconscious, or maybe dead. There was blood all around him. The floor and his clothes, blood everywhere. There was no one else in the room. She was afraid to approach him, afraid to touch him to see if he was alive. She was terrified. Tears flowed into her eyes again. On shaky legs, she approached Colin slowly. She walked around him, looking at him closely. His chest was moving slightly, he was breathing, still alive. She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder.

- Colin... Colin... dear... - she poked him lightly, he did not respond - what he did to you… I would kill him if I could - her breath hitched - Colin, I beg you to wake up - she knelt down in front of him. She grabbed his cheeks and lifted his head. His whole face was battered and bruised. He was covered in blood - oh God, Colin - she wept loudly.

Colin felt and heard that someone was by his side and someone was touching him. But all this was like through a fog. He felt weak, did not have the strength to move or even open his eyes. The touch he felt was different from before, he did not feel pain. This touch expressed concern, it was gentle. He felt tears flowing into his eyes. He felt his body trembling, as if to let him know to gather his strength and let him know he was alive, to open his eyes, to lift his head and look at the person in front of him.

He slightly lifted his eyelids and noticed hands resting on his thighs, he knew those hands. He closed his eyes again and raised his head. He opened his eyes and saw....

- Are you an angel? Did I die? - he said in a whisper.

- No - she laughed - it's me, Roberta. You're still alive - she started crying again.

- Roberta... that is, an angel after all - this was the sight he had waited so long for.

- Colin ... what he did to you ... - she stroked his cheek.

- Can you untie me? Please... - he smiled slightly.

- Ah, yes, I forgot. Wait - she went towards the door - Lizze, help me, quickly! He is alive!

- Holy God! - the only thing she was able to say. She stood shocked.

- Move! Soak some towels in warm water - Roberta grabbed a knife and started cutting the ropes.

- I’ve got them - she approached them with a towel.

- Start wiping his face, just gently - Roberta was still trying to cut the ropes.

Colin slowly stretched his hands in front of him and rested them on his thighs. They were purple and he had practically no feeling in them. He tried to straighten up in the chair, but he was too sore. He felt that his legs were also freed.

Roberta grabbed a wet towel and began to wipe his face. He closed his eyes and drew in the air loudly. It hurt, but not that much.

- I'm sorry, I know it hurts you. I try to do it gently - said Roberta.

- I'll be fine.

- I know - she felt herself wanting to cry again - it will be fine, I promise.

Colin opened his eyes and stared at her, following her every move. Her makeup was smudged from crying, but she still looked beautiful.

- I missed you - he whispered.

- You'd better keep quiet - she laughed.

- I know... I shouldn't have come here... - he sighed - but I had to.

- What you did... that was the stupidest idea you could have come up with - she stepped away from him for a moment to wet another towel. He didn't take his eyes off her.

- I know that too... but it was worth it. I can see you again - he smiled weakly.

- You are really stupid - sighed Roberta returning to washing his face.

- It's a fact, but when someone is in love, he can do anything. Regardless of whether he can survive it or not - he touched her thigh and gently stroked it.

Roberta did not respond to his words. Tears were dripping down her cheeks, she was unable to stop them.

- Come on - she gave him a hand - stand up... slowly.

Colin got up slowly, but felt he was about to fall. His body was not cooperating with him. He leaned on Roberta to keep from falling.

- Let's go, you need to lie down - they started walking slowly to the exit - Lizzie, don't stand there, help me. He is heavy.

- I've lost weight recently, I don't have time to eat properly - he laughed.

- You look very good - said Lizzie.

- Thank you.

They went into the nearest room by the bedding storage. They laid Colin down on the bed. He closed his eyes relishing the softness of the bed.

- You can go now, I'll take care of him - Roberta said to Lizzie.

- If you need anything, call me, I'll be where I usually am.

- Thanks.

She walked over to Colin and looked at his bruised face. He had a cut on his eyebrow arch, cheek and mouth in several places. He still looked very good.

- Don't you know it's not nice to stare like that? - he laughed.

- I guess I don't know.

- That's what you know now, but I'm letting you stare.

- We have to undress you. You're all dirty - she sat on the edge of the bed and leaned over him. She loosened his tie and took it off over his head. She began to undo the buttons of his shirt. With her fingertips she lightly touched his warm skin.

- That's nice - he said, not taking his eyes off her - look at me - he grabbed her gently by the chin and lifted her head - why do you hurt to look at me?

- I'm remorseful... all of this... James... it's all my fault. I'm sorry - a single tear dripped down Colin's bare torso - he could have killed you.

- It's not your fault. He messed me up pretty good, but I'm alive. I don't know why he left and didn't kill me.

- What do you mean he left? - Roberta got curious.

- He just walked out without saying a word and left me. I don't remember much. When he left I was already on the verge of losing consciousness. The only thing I remember is that he took my gun with him.

- Another one for the collection... - she whispered.

- Excuse me?

- Nothing. I'll take off your pants now - she began to undo his belt.

- Do you have something for me to change into? Or are you leaving me like this?

- I'll find something. You should take a nap.

- I don't want to. I've already lost too much time - he grabbed her hand when she wanted to leave - stay with me - he pulled her to him.

- Colin... I can't! - she squealed.

Colin pulled her on top of him and hugged her tightly.

- I missed - he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent.

Roberta raised her head and looked at him.

- And do you know what I missed?

- I don't know.

- This - she kissed him gently on the lips - it hurts?

- A little, but I can bear it - he pulled her to him and kissed her.

Roberta entwined her hands in his hair. He hugged her tightly, as if he was afraid she would escape him.

- What about... - he interrupted the kiss - you know....

- James?

- Yes.

- He's not 100% faithful to me either - she kissed him again, this time more greedily, but still gently. She felt a slight taste of blood.

Colin turned them around and was now over her. He leaned on his hands on either side of her head.

- You are so beautiful - he returned to the kiss.

He started kissing her jaw and went down to her neck, collarbone....

- May I? - He asked while grabbing the strap from her bra.

- I think you feel better already - she laughed.

- Yes, that's right - he slipped off her bra strap and kissed her body as if he was hungry.

He felt no pain. Her presence acted on him like painkillers. He felt he was alive again. But he knew that he would not be happy all the time. This joy was only for a while. He wanted to get as much as he could.

He slipped off her bra and looked at her breasts.

- Wow - he parted his lips in delight - beautiful.

He leaned over and took her nipple into his mouth. He sucked it and gently kissed it. Roberta's back arched and she sighed loudly. She grabbed his hair.

He continued the sweet torture with his mouth, and his hands wandered under her dress. He stroked her thighs heading higher and higher. He touched her panties with his fingers.

- God, you are so wet. After all, I haven't done anything yet, wow.

- Shut up and continue! - She pulled him by his hair upwards and kissed him on the lips again.

With his fingers, he pushed aside her wet panties and slipped them between her wet, swollen lips. He spread her sweet juices and massaged her pleasure button.

- Colin! Ah... I want more! - she bit him on his lips.

- Ough! That hurts! - He kissed her hard and slipped one finger inside her.

- Colin! - she moaned loudly.

He slid into her again and again feeling her tremble at his every move. How she tightened her grip on his finger.

- Enough - she whispered in his ear - I want you inside me - she bit his ear.

- Now? - He slid his other finger inside her.

- Yes!

Without pulling his fingers out of her, he slipped his boxers off with his other hand and pushed her dress higher.

He spread her thighs apart and removed his fingers from her. Roberta moaned. She felt an emptiness, she wanted to feel full again.

- Fuck me! Colin! - She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him closer to her.

- As you wish.

He began rubbing against her hot entrance and unexpectedly slid inside her. Piece by piece, allowing her to get used to his length. They both parted their lips and stared at each other with wide-open eyes.

- Oh fuck, you're amazing! - they said simultaneously.

Roberta grabbed him and pulled him into a kiss.

Colin began to move. Slowly at first, he felt he didn't have as much energy as he wanted. But after a while, he felt his energy returning with every movement of his hips. He delved deep into her. He felt warmth and a pleasant wetness. His dick was in paradise. He could feel Roberta clamping down on him, could feel her trembling beneath him. He felt that she was getting closer and closer to fulfillment. He also felt wonderful. They kissed greedily without being able to take their hands off each other. Roberta hugged him tightly to her.

- I can't stand it any longer! Colin! - she was all trembling.

- Let's do it together!

They both screamed into each other's mouths reaching their fulfillment. Colin sank down on top of her breathing heavily.

Roberta laughed.

- Why are you laughing? - Colin raised his head and looked into her eyes.

- It was amazing. I think it was from happiness.

He smiled broadly at her.

- Well, well, well... what I see here. Fascinating.

Roberta and Colin sat frightened on the bed and looked around the room. Twilight reigned and not much could be seen.

- James? - whispered Roberta.

- Yes, it's me! You guessed it! Surprise! - James came out of the darkness and stood by the bed. He took out a cigarette case from the inside pocket of his jacket and took out one cigarette. He put it in his mouth and fired it up. He let the smoke out in their direction - are you having fun lovebirds? Without me? Not nice - he shook his head with displeasure.

- Were you here all the time? - Roberta corrected her dress.

- Yes, you guessed again! - he sat down on the edge of the bed - you made beautiful sounds my dearest. This is music to my ears. It must have been very pleasant for you - he inhaled his cigarette - right?

Roberta looked at him in horror and remained silent.

- Would you be so kind and answer my question? That's what culture dictates. Well, there you go, I'm waiting.

Roberta looked at Colin, who tried to cover himself with the quilt, but they were lying on top of it, so had a problem with that.

- Well, I'm waiting - he smiled.

- Yes, it was very pleasant for me.

- Oh, that's great. Just know that this was the last time - he pulled a gun from his pocket and pointed it at Colin.

- What are you doing?! James! You're cheating on me too! Put it away, immediately! - she shouted.

- Don't be ridiculous - he got up from the bed and walked around it coming closer to Colin.

- Boy, oh what were you in for. A moment's pleasure worth dying for? I left you in the storeroom hoping that Mrs. Evers would shove you unconscious into the chute with the dirty sheets and clean up the mess as usual. Of course, it wasn't me who made this all mess, it was you. It was your blood that soiled the floor and the walls - he unholstered the gun with a quiet click - you have no idea how happy she will be to have a little another bedding to wash. I guess it's a hobby for her - he pointed the gun at him and shot him in the arm - perfection!

Colin grabbed his arm and slumped on the bed, screaming and squirming in pain.

- Colin! Oh God! Colin! - she clenched her hand at the site of the gunshot to dam the blood.

- A beautiful sight! I hope I hit the best spot. I love the colour red! - he laughed out loud - have fun! - He threw the gun on the bed, turned around and left the room.

- Fuck, fuck, fuck! What the hell! You said it would be fine! He is mentally ill! Why are you with him?! - Colin said incessantly - It hurts! I can't stand it! Call the emergency room!

- Calm down, calm down, breathe - she tried to calm him down.

- I'm supposed to be calm?! Fuck!

Roberta ran to the phone and I called the front desk.

- Lizzie! Quickly call an ambulance! James has shot Colin! Quickly! - she threw the receiver and ran to the clothes lying on the floor. She pulled the belt out of his pants.

- I'm about to pass out - he said quietly - Roberta....

- Take it easy now, don't fall asleep, look at me - she grabbed his arm and wrapped it with the belt, tightening it tightly - I hope this will help stop the blood... I really hope so - she kissed him on the forehead - Colin stay with me, the ambulance will come soon and they will help you. I promise - she cried.

To be continued…

Taglist: @robnovetre @team-evan-peters @spill-the-t @yes-divine-ruler @my-own-walker @frankenkyle19 @taintandviolent @innocent-writers-soul @paulinepaul @silverzoomies @divineruler @thewolveswithin @evannppeters @evan4ever @evanspresso @evanpeterswhoresblog @zipzapzabel @evpeters87 @alex-90s-blog

#evan peters #evan is my crush #yyyyyy_okay #dahmer #kai anderson #james march #james patrick march x reader #james patrick march #colin zabel smut #colin zabel fanfic #colin zabel #evan peters fanfic #evan peters smut #mare of easttown #smut #oh my gooood #oh well

[itsclydebitches]

I just need to know if Im the only one who felt weird abt that Isaac scene. The one where he takes Colin's phone. It just felt ooc for Isaac to follow colin and yell at him to delete the pics like a mom nagging. I never got the impression that Colin was thought to not follow his captain word by anyone in the show. I get that Isaac needed to find out (tho id prefer if colin did it on his own terms) but I still want to know what you think

Personally, I'm sold on Isaac's actions largely because of Colin's in that scene. Meaning, he's the most vocal in his disagreement about deleting private photos post-breakup. I'm afraid I can't bring up the episode atm so I don't have exact quotes, but Sam and Jamie are in full support - lecturing to the group at various points, like Isaac - with the other members being sorta on the fence, but then eventually persuaded. It's Colin who keeps pushing back against the idea, citing (if I remember correctly) things like personal property and memories. That strong stance is important because it sets him up as being the one member out of the group who might feasibly ignore Isaac's order.

Another thing that's important is how open the group is about their relationships (and the ways in which Colin has been barred from that due to his sexuality is a whole other post). From the group hanging on Sam's every text back when he was messaging Rebecca, all the way to now where Jamie is making a (hilariously) impressed face at whatever Will is deleting, there's really no secrets among the team. Or rather, heteronormativity has made it so that most of them assume there are no secrets. They delete those photos in full view of one another... which in some way kinda defeats the purpose of keeping them private, at least on a small scale, but really it's about the good intentions here. They trust each other to do the right thing, but they don't trust outsiders, so they delete the photos so they can never fall into the wrong hands.

Now, toss these two things together. Looking at that combination from Isaac's perspective, I think it's less nagging than it is an understandable (if not excusable) response to his assumptions. Colin has been the most vocal about this being a stupid idea, so when he leaves the assumption is not "Colin wants privacy" it's "Colin is trying to get out of this." Now with Point #2: why would Isaac assume it's privacy in the first place? No one else is bothering to find a quiet corner because, again, no one else has anything to hide. It's also important that Colin doesn't explain this to Issac. To be 100% clear I am NOT blaming Colin for his defensive reaction, only pointing out that, again, from Isaac's perspective this seems even more damning. When Colin says "Fuck off" rather than something like "I am deleting everything, I'd just prefer to do it without you lot looking over my shoulder," Isaac's assumptions appear confirmed. So he snatches the phone. Is that an appropriate reaction? No. Is it an extreme one? Arguably. But Isaac feels very strongly about this issue, even more-so once he realizes that Keeley was a victim, so his belief that Colin is blowing this off makes him angry enough to force the issue. If you won't delete those photos, I will.

Then, of course, he sees what those photos are.

Honestly, I hope this moment of miscommunication and, frankly, privacy invasion is addressed in their (inevitable) confrontation because while Isaac is by no means a bad person for this mistake and while it's understandable how this mistake came about... that's still a huge breach of Colin's privacy, especially given his specific circumstances. Plus, as we see via the acting, it rightly terrifies him. Already we've seen that although Isaac isn't comfortable with this revelation, he's not outing Colin to the group either, so this is perhaps the "best" outcome of such a mistake, bar Isaac immediately reassuring and apologizing to Colin, which we obviously didn't get. But just because he hasn't gone on a full blown homophobia rant doesn't mean Isaac doesn't have shit to apologize for (both now and from the past), so I hope the writing addresses how they both got to this moment, not simply the internalized homophobia that Isaac needs to grapple with.

And yeah, I agree that generally speaking I prefer for queer characters to come out on their own terms... though in Ted Lasso's case I feel like that would have been a waste in some respects? Meaning, this whole arc is not just about Colin, but the community which he's a part of - football - and the horrific homophobia that pro-athletes face. We've just been reminded that there are NO out footballers in the pro league. We've also learned that Colin has no desire to be the poster-boy for gay footballers. So in the last couple episodes to have him suddenly come out on his own would a) undermine the extreme consequences of that and b) undermine Colin's personal wants and needs. I get that Ted Lasso as a whole is about the optimistic vibe and undoubtedly the show has demonstrated, in this season in particular, how far people can come when given support... but I still think it would have been pretty out of left field for Colin to suddenly go, "You know what? I will come out! I will shoulder the terror of potentially loosing these friendships, and the media frenzy, and being forever the first out gay man in pro-football, potentially putting my very safety at risk because the Lasso Way taught me to love myself!" That's a little too optimistically saccharin, even for this show. Personally, I prefer this version where the outing occurred due to good intentions - Issac trying to protect people from what Keeley is going through - while still allowing the space to unpack WHY Colin was scared to come out in the first place.

Basically, I expected Colin to be outed somehow because I've always figured that would be (and I do kinda hate using this word) the most realistic outcome for his scenario. In real life someone should NEVER go through this, but in a story sometimes a character needs that push, so that we can resolve the conflict by season's end. Given my other meta-writing obsession, I keep comparing this scenario to Volume 9 of RWBY. It rankled that RWBY had a magical universe force Blake and Yang to confess because they live in a homophobia-free world have nothing, absolutely NOTHING, personally holding them back. So why make a joyous moment so uncomfortable by taking away their consent? In contrast, Ted Lasso is all about that homophobia and Colin has a boatload of personal reasons not to come out, even though he may want to in a perfect world. In this case, the story "has" to force his hand somehow. Either that, or we'd need more time for Colin and the world he lives in to develop - time that Ted Lasso simply doesn't have.

#Ted Lasso #Colin Hughes #queer #Ted Lasso meta #mymetas

[unscharf-an-den-raendern]

The Big German Tween Soap Opera Drama (So far)

Here's the writeup for all those of you who don't go here but still love reading about drama from fandoms you're not in.

What is Schloss Einstein?

Schloss Einstein is a German soap opera aimed at ~10 to 14-year-olds. Since it's been on air since 1998 with 26 seasons and over 1000 episodes, it also has fans beyond its target audience who grew up with it and either never stopped watching it or picked it up again at some point.

The show focuses on the live of students at a fictional boarding school with common themes being love, friendship, slice of life and the occasional comedy or mystery story.

Noah and Colin

In season 26, the show got its first mlm storyline. The show already had a wlw storyline in season 23 that was generally well received and so we had hopes.

In the first episode of season 26, Colin gets two new roommates: Noah and Joel. Joel grows suspicious of Noah because he tends to sneak out at night and won't tell anyone where he's going. Eventually, he and Colin discovder that Noah secretly took his dog Freddy with him and hid him in the woods because his parents wanted to send him to the shelter.

Colin offers to help Noah take care of Freddy and Noah slowly starts to trust Colin. But then the headmaster finds out about Freddy and tells Noah that Freddy can't stay in the woods and has to go to the shelter. Colin wants to apologise to Noah and manages to get tickets to a film premier, but Noah pushes him away. He later apologises to Colin after the principal decides to take Freddy in himself and let Noah visit him whenever he wants.

Later, Noah secretly makes a stop-motion film for a project Colin and Joel are working on and plans to make a live-action horror film as well. However, it doesn't go according to plan and ends up being canceled. Colin comforts Noah and ends up kissing him but Noah runs away right after it. Later that evening, Colin tries to hold Noah's hand but Noah tells him that he's not in love with him.

In the final episode of the season, Colin realises that he can't stay friends with Noah because his romantic feelings for him are too strong - he confesses his love to Noah but walks away without waiting for Noah's answer. Noah doesn't follow him.

The first drama - The disappointing final three episodes

The first drama was the reaction to episode 1049 (Noah tells Colin he's not in love with him), episode 1050 (Noah tells Colin "that's what friends are for" and Colin is later seen crying alone in the dark) and episode 1052 (Colin confesses his love to Noah, walks away and Noah doesn't follow him).

There were a lot of angry comments. Not just from disappointed queer people within the show's target audience but also from disappointed adult queer fans who were concerned that this was sending the wrong message to young queer people - that life would always be hard for them if they happened to be gay.

The second drama - The new opening

Traditionally, the show does an Advent calender on social media with pictures from the upcoming season and finally the new opening.

It was already clear that Colin's actor wouldn't be around for the whole season because he landed a role in a film and his schedule would have overlapped with the shooting of Schloss Einstein. But since the first press release for season 27 stated that there would be 19 main characters and being credited as a main character usually guaranteed that said character would appear in the opening, we had some hope.

Well, the new opening was released and guess what? Colin wasn't in it. Cue another round of angry comments, this time mainly from people in the target demographic who thought Colin wouldn't appear in season 27 at all. And why? Because there was no official info. You had to see a picture a cast member posted on BeReal or read the wiki to know Colin would be in season 27. And even those of us who knew Colin would still be around for at least a few episodes doubt that it will be enough to give his story with Noah a satisfying ending.

And then there's the fact that season 27 is going to focus on a mystery plot about a treasure hunt. The last season to do that was season 24 which wasn't well received to the poor execution of the mystery plot. So now people are worried that season 27 will suffer the same fate with a poorly executed mystery plot overshadowing everything else and leaving no room for some much-needed character developement.

Stay tuned!

#schloss einstein

[capnsupernova]

I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep so here is a running list of all the reasons I will always love the Kiera Knightly and Matthew McFadyen version of Pride and Prejudice over any other remake ever:

The music. Every time I hear that opening song I feel like the opposite of crawling out of my skin. Like crawling back into my skin after letting my skin sit in the sun for a little while. And the song that Lizzie and Darcy dance to is so moody and angsty and perfect for their relationship and conversation at the time. And the song that plays when her and Charlotte aren't speaking is such a mix of light and life continuing to go on even when you feel such intense loneliness. Ugh. Just the music.

The scenery and the cinematic shots. They turned that movie into an art piece. The scene where here and Charlotte aren't speaking, with the music, and her just sitting on that swing, spinning as the seasons change and people just go on with their lives as if she hasn't lost one of the most important people in her life until she finally hears from Charlotte again. Everything about Pemberley and the journey leading up to it and the way you can see her falling in love with Darcy as she walks through his house and how that alone is enough to get a better understanding of him and his softer, homely side. The scene at the end in the field with the soft light of the rising sun and the fog in the field. The scene after she turns down Mr. Colins, with the pond and the geese and her mother screaming at her. Every scene was given it's absolute optimal shot of emotional and aesthetic quality.

Her parents. The people who play Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are just peak in my mind. I wanted Mr. Bennet to be my dad. His affable distance, his voice, the way he smiled. The way he obviously loved his daughters but also obviously didn't understand them at all. MRS. BENNET I don't care what anyone says. She was peak Mrs. Bennet. I cannot accept anyone else. Her kind of airy, high-strung voice and way of speaking. How her hair and clothes were always in slight disarray. The scene where she learns that Lydia has been married and her family isn't in ruins, how she goes from prone and distraught to immediately like "Married?" with an absolutely light and wistful and hopeful face/voice. A full 360 of her previous mental state.

And then just the individual scenes:

Like a few of the ones already mentioned, the scene after her and Charlotte's fight. How it emphasizes so strongly the relationship between them and how that is so clearly more heartbreaking to her than anything that could possibly happen between her and Mr Darcy. Without a single word spoken or a single action taken besides the spinning and the passage of time it conveys how lost and alone she feels in those moments. The pigs being chased in the background adds a touch of humor but also is a great shot of her despair. This is something Lizzie Bennet would laugh about, something she'd find silly and wonderful and she can't do that now because her friend isn't there with her.

And the scene where she gets the letter from her family about Lydia running away and she comes out after reading it with the intention to tell them what's going on, but she's so distraught and stressed that all she can do it make that sound so she just goes right back into her room and then shows up again a few seconds later much more composed and just says "Lydia's run away" and the look on Darcy's face like "babygirl, I'm gonna fix this. You don't need to know about it, but I am going to fucking fix this because you are sad and that hurts me" just with his face.

(Also Mr Darcy in general, the way Matthew McFadyen's face can go from gloomy and bored and apathetic to so so so soft. Like. kill me, please. If anyone’s face ever did that when they looked at me, I would cut out my whole entire heart and just give it to them, bleeding and beating and all.)

(Full disclosure, this movie was probably my actual first bisexual awakening. Kiera Knightly and Matthew McFadyen can do whatever they want to me.)

The scene where Jane is leaving to go on her trip after Bingley has left her with no word, and she's sitting on the back of the coach and she's smiling but it's such a frozen, practiced smile that never reaches her eyes so you can still see her heartbreak.

At the end, when her and Darcy meet in that field, and he's confessing his love to her and all she says is "Your hands are cold" which isn't I love you, exactly, but then she brings them to her lips and there is so much care and gentleness that it might as well be I love you.

The scene where Mr. Bingley comes back to propose and their all just chilling, lounging in the sitting room until they get the call and they flurry around the room to get "presentable" and then the door opens and they're all just sitting perfectly poised and pretty as if they weren't just flurrying around the room.

Listen.

There are some things I would have liked more of. Like the scene where she comes to visit Jane while she's sick and Caroline says that bullshit about how she looks "positively medieval" and Darcy is supposed get all snappy and say "well, actually, I think the walk made her look more lively." LIke more of him defending her when she's not even around to hear it, becasue that foreshadows so much of his behavior towards the end, including him specifically asking Lydia never to tell anyone that he was the one that helped her get married.

But just about everything else.

Everything.

I don't care that it wasn't as true to the books.

Because in some ways, with the changes they made, it was more true to the books and the characters and the intent of the book. I am of the camp that movies shouldn't be exactly like the book. It should be its own experience. Translating books directly and perfectly into a movie/tv show is just boring to me. Make it something unique. Make it an extension of the story, not a carbon copy of it. Like the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. There is not a single remake of that book that is exactly like the book itself or is exactly like each other, on purpose. Changes should be made, but only if those changes are actually meaningful and better express what is happening between the characters. And the changes made for this movie are so perfect and lovely.

There is so much that is captured without the need for words.

Everything about this movie will always immediately put my heart and soul into a good place. This movie single-handedly makes me believe in love. And not just any love, but a love of understanding, a love that takes work and communication, love between women and the importance of female relationships over all else. The way the scenery and music speak just as much as the characters do.

I just think about that movie sometimes and it makes my heart feel so many inarticulable things.

Anyways. yeah. That's all. Thanks for coming to my 4AM rant about P&P.

#Also Kiera Knightly as Elizabeth Swan can get it too #I would die for that woman #I would let her kill me #pride and prejudice #mr. darcy #elizabeth bennet #jane austen #kiera knightley #matthew macfadyen #movie adaptation #mr. bennet #mrs. bennet #jane bennet #mr. bingley

[dollypopup]

look i get bton has set up some seeds (ba dum tiss?) that polin will be the pairing in the Featherington Family to have a male heir first (and it's popular in the fandom as an endgame for them) and thus will inherit the estate but

consider the following:

they find out about it and go 'ahahahah NOPE' and thus become co-conspirators to get Pru or Phillipa preggo before them. because with inheriting the estate. . .what they really inherit is the debt. and neither of them are eager for that anytime soon

so one storyline is that they're on a mission to get Prudence there first so they're always out here making very thinly veiled insinuations at PruDank and make up excuses and schemes so they're alone with each other. Penelope takes the lead for this particular side of the scheme, but they're definitely in kahoots. like Colin will lead Dankworth to places and Penelope will do the same for Prudence and whoops, look at that, what a good time for the two of you to make an heir and Penelope's there in Prudence's ear like it should be you, you're the oldest, it's your right, wouldn't you want to lord it over Phillipa forever? like the devil on her shoulder and constantly hyping her sister up because please, god, don't let it be her, she doesn't want it to be her, she is a grand total of 19 years old and she wants to fuck her husband consequence free, and she can't do this chastity shit, it's not reasonable, so Prudence, time to hop on that horse! let's up and at 'em, sis

and the other is Colin coming to Albion like 'soooooooo. . .I have to ask. . .how have you managed it?' and he's like 'managed what?' 'to be married for two years and not have a baby. I mean, I'm a newly married man and I'd like to. . .enjoy my wife before we start a family. I have to know your secret' and Albion is just there going 'huh? what secret? we've just being doing it normal?' so Colin's very concerned like 'oh no, what if i've offended him? what if they can't have kids???' and Albion and him keep talking until it becomes clear that, wait, hang on, what do you mean by normal and it finally comes out that the reason Phillipa always seems like she's got a stick up her bum is because she does so he's like 'oh fuck, oh no, oh no no no, i can't be the one to inform him that's not the way to make a baby' ala: 'you are putting it in the right place?' and he's white as a ghost like 'so very sorry, i think i left my cat on the stove, i have to go'

and Colin and Penelope come together at the end of all their schemes like 'well. . .there goes Plan A. . .and B. . .and C through G' as Penelope frantically wonders if she can get Gen to pull Prudence aside and Colin is contemplating which of his brothers he can bribe enough to have the 'So, women have multiple holes' discussion w/' Albion because he refuses to be the one to do it

meanwhile, Portia is out here making potions to try to get one of her daughters to have a baby because thus far, she's batting 0 for 3, and Polin's schemes somehow always end up in direct opposition to her schemes, thus canceling out each time

tell me that wouldn't be the funniest shit you've ever watched on this show

#polin #do i dare tag anything else? lmfao #this is kind of crack but also i desire it desperately #guess i have to write it #in particular i'm just imagining that albion-colin conversation as he gets more and more distressed #going 'what do you mean? WHAT DO YOU MEAN!?!?!' #portia out here with her teeth gritted like 'I'm going to kill Colin Bridgerton' (because he is the perma-thorn in her side) #as Penelope sips tea going 'please don't i like him too much' #neither of them realizing they're on the same side #but also Portia does NOT want it to be Polin because she's like 'good lord COLIN BRIDGERTON in charge of the estate??? he's too stubborn' #because really she's hoping it's Dankworth so she can still manipulate him and keep control #and Colin is out here hoping it is ANYONE BUT HIM because no he wants to fuck his beautiful wife in rolling fields of flowers and on beache #he loves babies but maybe they can wait until his wife isn't a literal teenager #portia and colin squabbling as penelope is there like 'you're. . .on the same side?' and they hiss going 'HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT!?'

[f4iry-bell]

jameson hawthorne x f!reader [ enemies to lovers ] | part 3

2.3k words. two halfs, first half is inspired by 'you jump, i jump, jack' ep from gilmore girls. mention of a gilmore girls character of two. sorry if it's too long.

if you never watched gilmore girls watch this for a better view on this part (go watch gilmore girls)

Jameson did not know if she was avoiding him after the kiss because they don't talk or hang around unless they're taunting each other. He did not see her anywhere in the campus, since he dropped out of journalism class it was impossible for them to see each other unless one of them sort the other out. Jameson didn't realise exactly how attracted he was to her until the kiss. He was not the one to get desperate for someone, but there was something about her kiss and it's energy, her energy. He loved it. But it doesn't matter, she probably regrets it now. After all, they've been at each other's neck ever since they met. There is no reason behind the kiss.

_

A week and so has passed since their kiss, Jameson almost forgot about it. He was wearing a black tuxedo while holding a glass of champagne in the open field for another event that the secret society is hosting, one which he is very interested in. He was looking forward to this event ever since they started discussing it but he was kind of distracted about it because of a certain someone. And never he would have thought that he would see her at an event that is hosted by the Yale secret society. His eyes were fixated on her. He couldn't take look away.

She was wearing a light blue ball gown with a darker blue scarf hanging from her neck. Her hair was loose and she looked devastatingly beautiful while talking to Logan Huntzberger with a small notebook in her left hand and pen in her right hand. 

Why is she here? And why is she talking to Logan Huntzberger? Standing so close? She's listening to every word he says. And taking them down, is she interviewing him? He needed answers because the sight of her having an interesting conversation with Logan wasn't pleasing for Jameson. So, he approached them. 

“Hey, Jameson.” Logan greeted. Once she saw him she kept her head down, he wondered what her first thought was when she saw Jameson after so long.

“Logan.” He gave him a smile and eyed her, Logan took that as a question which it is and answered.

“She's not a member, she's just here to collect information for her article. And don't worry, she won't reveal anyone's identity. Just a description about the place and event, right?” He turned to her with a smile.

“Yep.” She said.

There was an obvious tension between Jameson and her and Logan was not dumb enough to not notice it. 

“You two know each other?” He asked but before he could answer he spoke. “Good, because I really have to help Colin out for the event, why don't you show our guest around? Thank you, man.” He patted Jameson’s shoulders and left.

She sighed and turned to Jameson giving him a very neutral look, making it hard for him to guess what she was thinking. He wanted her to think about the kiss, he hoped that she thought about it.

“You've been avoiding me.” He said, didn't know how else to start a conversation with her.

“I wasn't.” She added. “We're not friends, I simply don't have a reason to be near you.” She shrugged.

“Right” He nodded, tucking his hands inside his pant pockets. “And what are you doing here?”

“Logan already told you, didn't he?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I know, but I also know that you already wrote an article about the secret society. I did too, a better one. So, why are you writing about it again?” He asked.

She rolled her eyes. “Doyle wanted me to write about it again. It got readers attention apparently.” She explained. “Look, I'm not here for silly small talk. You either show me around or I'll just find Logan” 

Jameson smiled. “I was about to suggest that I take you around actually” He said and then offered his arms for her to join hers. But she didn't take it as expected.

_

Jameson did show her all the weird stuff that was around and finally led her to the place where the tall tower was. She looked up and saw that there were four people standing seven stories high holding an umbrella and being tied to some sort of strong flexible rope. 

“Are they trying to look at us from a different perspective?” She asked, squinting her eyes while looking up.

“Maybe. But that's not why they're there.” He said.

“What are they going to do? Jump?” She chuckled as a joke.

Jameson shrugged with an amused look.

“Wait, they're not going to jump. It's too high, they might die or at least break a lot of bones” She rushed her words.

“Everybody is going to die one day and break at least one bone in their lifetime.” He smirked.

“But those four are going to die today!” She widened her eyes.

“Six” He corrected her.

“Six?” She asked, frowning. 

He nodded.

“No way, you're jumping too?” She asked.

“Worried about me?” He smirked. “And you too.” He informed her.

“What?”

“You're jumping with us.” He cleared it for her.

“Absolutely not.”

“Why not? It'll be a once in a lifetime experience. And don't worry you won't die. There are a lot of safety measures in this. You'll be tied to the rope which will help you land carefully. Without breaking a bone.” He assured her. He can see the dilemma in her eyes.

“I don't know.” She shrugged.

“Come on, it'll be such a thrill. Just imagine the adrenaline. It's your choice, Ace. I would love to try and convince you but we're going to jump in a few minutes.” He told her.

She thought for a moment and let out a sigh, a sigh that made Jameson smile because he can literally see her answer.

“Fine”

“After you.” He motioned his hand towards the ladder that went up seven stories high. They both climbed up and stood a foot away from the edge. She looked down and saw how high they were.

“We're so, so, high.” She stated.

“I've been higher.” He told her as he grabbed two umbrellas from the guy who tied the rope on each one of them.

“I'm not surprised.” She said, when she was researching Jameson's crimes, she learnt a lot about him.

Jameson chuckled. “Ready?” He asked her as the crowd down there started counting from ten in descending order. 

She nodded and closed her eyes. Both of them subconsciously grabbed each other's hands and jumped at one.

The adrenaline rush was flowing through their bodies like electricity. They safely landed on the ground without breaking a bone. She had the brightest smile on her face after the landing. Jameson was wrong, he thought annoyance was his favourite expression of hers, he enjoyed making her mad just to see her reactions, but overjoyed out of excitement was her best expression, he stared at her joyous face with such awe. He snapped out of it when she spoke.

“Once in a lifetime moment.” She breathed out.

“Only if you wanted it to be.” He corrected her. They both were smiling and looking at each other's face that they forgot they were still holding hands, and too in the moment to realise how close they were. Their faces were ten inches apart from each other. It was better than the kiss for Jameson. But their moment was interrupted by Logan.

“I didn't know you were going to jump.” Logan chuckled. She let go of Jameson’s hand and stepped back from him.

“I didn't either.” She said.

“I bet Jameson made you, didn't he?” He asked.

“I just suggested she should try.” He shrugged. “It was her choice.”

“Anyways, I think it's time for me to leave. Can you drive me from the ‘secret’ location?” She asked Logan. It bothered Jameson that she didn't ask him. Even though it shouldn't have.

“Sorry, we have a celebration right after this.” Logan said.

“Oh. Okay, I'll just be in the tent then.” She said he nodded.

He brought her here and is not going to keep her company? Jameson thought.

“You should join us. After the legendary jump, you should join the celebration.” Jameson told her.

She sighed. “Maybe. But for now I'm going to go to the tent. As beautiful as this dress may look, its comfort rating isn't that beautiful.” She smiled and walked away.

“Interesting girl, isn't she?” Logan said, totally checking her out as she walked away.

Jameson was thinking about how they stood on top and she grabbed her hand. Or how he grabbed her hand and she let him. 

“She is.” 

_

Jameson searched six tents before finding the one she was in, she was wearing a normal plain red crop top and baggy pants. Something more comfortable. She was also writing something down before she jerked when Jameson suddenly opened the tent.

“You scared me!” She said.

“Did I, now?” He chuckled and took a seat in front of her.

“What do you want?” She asked.

“What makes you think I want something?” He asked with a smirk. “Deja vu” He added. 

“Well?” She waited for a proper answer.

“Nothing, really. Was just curious. What are you doing?” He asked.

“Rewriting my notes.”

“Rewriting?”

“More of organising them. So it'll be helpful when I write the article.” She explained.

He nodded. 

“Shouldn't you be at the celebration?” She asked.

“I was. And then saw Logan. I was expecting to see you there as well. But here you are rewriting your notes.” He said.

“Well I already told him I won't be there, you were there when I did.” 

“True. Are you two close?” He asked hoping for a particular answer.

“Not really, he's just helping me with the article. He's nice but has a habit of ditching me then and there.” She rolled her eyes.

“Sounds like him” He chuckled.

“You two friends?”

“We're not exactly buddies. He knows me, I know him. We're members of the secret society. That's all.” He explained.

“Oh.” And there was silence.

Jameson was the one to break it “I want to ask you something.”

“What?” 

“Why didn't you ask for my help with the article?” He asked.

She chuckled. “As if you would have helped me just like that.”

“True. But you could have asked. Since you already knew I was in the secret society. I assume it took you some time to clarify that Logan was in it.” His tone was nonchalant.

“It did take me some time. But it makes no sense.” 

“Maybe some things don't have to make sense.” He shrugged, still keeping the nonchalant tone.

“I don't get it.” 

“I mean, some things don't need a reasoning or it doesn't have to make any sense.” 

“Like what?” She chuckled.

He kept quiet for a moment, debating himself whether or not he should say it. “The kiss.” He said.

She shifts. “I thought we agreed not to talk about the kiss.” 

“No, we never did.” He frowned.

“We did, it was an indirect-non-communicative-agreement that we made.” She told him.

“That makes…” He stopped himself from completing the sentence.

“Makes no sense? You said it yourself, some things don't have to make any sense.” Jameson was quiet for a second before chuckling. He loved her smart mouth.

“Fair enough.” He changed the subject. “Tell me something.” 

“Tell you what?” She asked.

“Anything.”

“I don't know.” She chuckled.

“I'll tell you something.”

“Okay” She was curious about what he was about to say.

“It’s more of a statement.” He said and moved himself forward towards her. He looked deep into her eyes before darting his eyes down to her lips. “You are extremely attracted to me.” He whispered, leaning closer.

“I am?”

“Mhmm” 

His hands cupped her face while leaning closer leaving only an inch gap between their lips, he looked at her eyes again to see if there's any confusion or discomfort. But her eyes were focusing on his lips, waiting for him. Jameson wasted no second and kissed her, unlike their first kiss this was gentle and soft. His mouth was exploring hers slowly as his hand caressed her neck. Her hands stayed holding her notebook but her mouth was kissing him just as gently as him. They both pulled away slowly taking a breath.

“You should go.” She said, not rudely, not with discomfort.

“Why?” His hands still on her neck caressing it.

“I should rewrite my notes.” She made an excuse.

“Okay.” He agreed. He wanted to kiss her again but he didn't. He caressed her neck one last time with his thumb before standing up.

“It doesn't have to mean anything, it doesn't have to make any sense at all. It could just be just as it is. A kiss.” He said.

“Are you suggesting that we act on our desires because we both are attracted to each other? Can you talk like a normal person?” She chuckled.

“Says the girl who just said ‘act on our desires.’ And yes. I don't want anything serious. We can even be friends, you're not all bad, you know? You are interesting, I don't just see you because you're attractive. You're fun and competitive. I like that.” He didn't want to sound like a jerk who sees her only because she's attractive. She should know she's more than just attractive.

“You didn't have to explain all that.” She chuckled. “So no strings attached?” She asked, more of a rhetorical question.

He nodded. 

“Come here” She said and he gladly obliged. 

Things got heated between them, really heated but everything had to stop because neither of them had protection so they talked. Jameson told her about the time he broke a few ribs and the tallest point he has been. 

#jameson hawthorne #the brothers hawthorne #the inheritance games #the final gambit #the hawthorne legacy #the grandest game #xander hawthorne #avery kylie grambs #grayson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #the hawthorne brothers #avery grambs

[ashleyfanfic]

Love your blog! Huge Jonerys shipper and just finished Seaosn 2 of Bridgerton and LOVE Polin! Kantony was amazing too! I am so excited for Season 3! Did you see the trailer! Would love yo know your thoughts! Hope you have a great day!

OH! SO EXCITED TO TALK ABOUT THIS! Thanks for asking.

First, Jonerys will always be my OTP. Yeah, the show ended like a burning pile of dog turds, but in fan fiction they're living happily ever after as they should have. The one good thing is that Kit's show is not going to be made which means they will not be able to profit off Daenerys Death anymore than the already do. Kit, find you another franchise where you can swing a sword. I'll watch it. I sat through Pompeii I can do anything.

Second, I love KANTHONY!!! I mean, the PINING! THE UST! LOVE IT! All the glances and touches and the "You are the bane of my existence and the object of my every desire" yes, sir! PLEASE. Love them. So glad we get to see them happy and in love this season. Just a boon, for sure.

Third, POLIN! Ok, hang on, let me get this out of the way first because it is a huge concern to me. I do not, under any circumstances, want to see Eloise join in with Cressida to make fun of Penelope. I get it, she's hurt, but please don't let her do that because she knows all of the sensitive points about Penelope, not even counting Lady Whistledown. She knows the things she's sensitive about and stands to truly hurt her. I had my former best friend do that to me and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Though, Nicola and Luke were both adamant about their love for Eloise. So, here's hoping.

POLIN - Alright, I'm going to say what I'm sure many other people are thinking -- Colin needs to grovel in apology for what he said. It's already difficult enough for Pen, with her introverted nature, to meet and talk to people. That has been clearly established. But to then have an influential man in the ton declare that he would never dream of courting her? I mean, talk about ruining a girl's chances all around.

There are little things throughout the trailer that fascinate me. One being that I think Penelope isn't going to arrive to one of the balls with her family but fake an illness and stay home. Perhaps after seeing Eloise with Cressida at a garden party earlier that day. Something sparks within her and causes her to no longer lie there, but throw open her wardrobe and we see her getting dressed. We do see Pen see them walk away together. So, I think she comes in late, dressed in a different gown, with a different look. Perhaps she asked Madam Delacroix to make it for her outside of her mother's knowledge. Because we see her standing at the top of a staircase in a red cape and then dramatically allowing it to fall to the ground. Everyone turns and looks. (My favorite thing, is if you look at the crowd, her brother-in-law, Mr. Finch is smiling at her - such a sweet, cheese loving boy!). But Cressida and Eloise look shook. Also, in this same scene we do see Francesca and Pen later talking. This is important to me as it is said in the books, Colin is very close with Franny, especially once he starts traveling and she moves to Scotland. Lady Danbury is obviously speaking with the Queen about the possible matches that could be made. So far, all the writings we've seen about this season show that Mister Dankworth is interested in marriage, but instead of being along the lines of Nigel Berbrook, he's more along the lines of Prince Friedrich. You might root for him if Colin wasn't already in the picture. I have a feeling that while his interest will spark jealousy in Colin, it will also spark confidence in Penelope. Which, judging by some of these awkward convos we see her having with some of the other men of the ton, she really needs. But the sight of them dancing beneath the moonlight in the ballroom, and their heads close together over a book, and Colin having to sit back and watch as a bystander, is too sweet for me to take. Colin is the sort you have to hit over the head and drag him to it. Someone else finding her desirable could spark that wait, what have I missed. We love our leading man, but baby are you dense. The scene where he's sitting back and the flame slowly lights, it's like Colin's love for Penelope. It doesn't happen all at once, but as it grows and glows it gets brighter. Their trope is she falls first, but he falls harder. And in the books, that 100% true. He's my wife this, my wife that. Once he realizes that he's in love with her, there is nothing else that matters to him BUT her.

#bridgerton s3 #polin #colin bridgerton #penelope featherington #bridgerton

[slut4colinbridgerton]

Bittersweet in my mouth|| COLIN BRIDGERTON

PROMPT: “People warned me about you. I didn’t listen… God I wish I did.”

Requested?: No

Ship: Colin Bridgerton x Reader

Warnings: AFAB pronouns, Colin being an oblivious cunt (please let me know if i have to add something else)

Summary: idk man there’s just angst

A/N: Hey guys! This is my first one shot/imagine, so any constructive criticism is welcome!! Also I will be taking requests, however i would like to stick to bridgerton atm. I hope you enjoy :)

“Are you ok?” Y/N looked up to see Eloise standing behind them.

“Yeah.. Yeah I am.”

Eloise rolled her eyes,

“I don’t think people hide behind bushes would be considered ‘fine’. Definitely not sane that’s for sure-”

She was cut off briefly with an elbow to the stomach “What the hell Y/N?, you’ve been acting weird since…” she trailed off.

“Oh. Oh.”

“Eloise don’t. I’m not in the mood to talk about my feelings. I just want to wallow in self pity.” She sat on the bench and fiddled with the silk fabric of her dress. Eloise simply sat next to her on the bench.

“Y’know you’re not too late.” Eloise said, staring into the air.

“What, how can I not be? He’s now engaged to Marina, I can’t do anything more.”

“Y/N, no offense but shut up. You are a wonderful person, you’re elegant, an academic, any man would be lucky to have you! If Colin can’t see that, then it’s his fault, not yours.”

“I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said about me, and about romance for that fact.” Y/N chuckled.

“Yeah, it is. That’s how much I’m rooting for you and him.”

“Rooting for them and who?”

They both stood up and snapped around, to see the man they were just talking about,

“Why are you both looking at me like that? Have I got something on my face?”

Eloise cleared her throat,

“No one, nothing, I should go-”

“Eloise no, don’t you dare!” Y/N straggled to get a hold of Eloise’s arm, but failed, and Eloise sauntered off.

“Y/N, are you feeling ok? Have you come down with an illness?” He says, pressing the back of his hand to her forehead, “You’ve been acting off this whole party.”

Y/N stepped back from Colin,

“ Colin just leave it, I’m ok, I’m just sick of everyone asking me that!”

Colin raised his hands in defeat,

“Ok ok, just please, tell me what’s troubling you. It’s unlike you to be this.. reserved.”

“Colin what would you know what I’m like? You’re hardly around me anymore.” Y/N yelled out.

“Pardon?”

“Do not act like you haven’t been. You’ve been so infatuated with Miss Thompson, You have hardly spent any time with anyone else!”

“Why are you acting like this, is because you are jealous? I mean I don’t blame you! Marina has had more luck on the marriage market in a few weeks, more then you’ve had for the last few months! And it will probably stay that way.”

Y/N’s blood seemed to drain from their face,

“Y/N I’m so sorr-” She held up a finger to cut him off,

“Save it.”

Y/N turned away and stormed out of the garden, Colin just stood there, just watching her walk away.

Eloise was stood talking with Penelope, when she felt a sudden tap on her shoulder; she turned around to see Y/N standing there, her eyes heavy and red.

“Hold on Penelope-”

“Oh ok then,” Penelope was confused, but then again she was used to Eloises antics.

Eloise grabbed Y/N’s arm and lead to to a more secluded part of the occasion,

“What did he say, you must tell me!”

“He told me that I was jealous, due to the fact that Miss Thompson had more luck this season then I’ve ever had.”

Eloise balled her fists,

“Oh I’m going to kill him-”

“Eloise, don’t.”

Eloise sighed, then sat down; Y/N joined her,

“I’m getting a real sense of deja vu here.” Y/N laughed bitterly,

“Sat down? You crying because of my idiot of a brother? I think it’s starting to become our thing.”

Y/N looked at Eloise,

“I’m sorry for unloading this all on you-”

“Don’t you worry, it gives me something else to to other than listen to the mindless suitors of the ton.”

Y/N chuckled.

They heard footsteps coming from behind them, and they turned around; and once again they had a sense of deja vu.

It was Colin.

“Can I-”

“No.”

“Eloise I need to talk to-”

“Not in your wildest dreams brother.”

“Why not? I need to say-”

“What? Are you planning to insult her again? Planning to demean her further? Oh why don’t you just insult her family-”

“Alright I get it! Just please, tell me where she is.”

“Fine, she’s behind me.”

“What?”

Y/N poked her head out,

“Hi.”

Hello! Thank you so much for reading my first imagine/one shot. There will be a part 2, due to the fact that I just could not put it all in one. Hoped you enjoyed this and will read part 2 :)

- caitlin/sage <3

#bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #colin bridgerton #colin bridgerton imagine #colin bridgerton x reader #colin bridgerton x you #eloise bridgerton #eloise x reader #daphne bridgerton #bridgerton one shot #benedict bridgerton #benedict bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton x you

[lazykiwi]

Okay, I relistened and have notes on episode 1 of magnus protocol. (Spoilers for the first episode) Bare in mind, this is just my thoughts on the characters and the episode, and a lot of my brain filling in gaps that I know will be filled later

First off, love love LOVE Alice, I know jonny and most likely Alex, are gonna put her through some misery later on, but for now I can have my joke away the spooky character that I will get emotionally attached to and cry when they inevitably die. Cuz it's Alex, she will. I've already come to terms with it. But please, hand in marriage, please.

Next Sam, bless this boy, has no idea what he's in for, but he's trying his best. I think he has a connection to the magnus Institute. I don't know how yet, so that's still to figure out. Maybe old family? I don't know, just gonna throw everything at the wall and hope something sticks.

GWENDOLYN! LOVE HER! Would do a better job than lena at running the OIAR. She's not slow, she's efficient, and there's a difference. I kinda hope she snaps at some point, she's a bouchard for crying out loud, she'll have a trick up her sleeve.

Lena, I am obsessed with her voice, absolutely love her voice, I don't think she's the big baddie like elias was, maybe doesn't realise she's working for the baddie? Again, going off nothing but my own ideas here.

Colin absolutely knows something up, especially with that ending, maybe from trying to get the app going, he accidentally found something he wasn't supposed to, and that's why he's staying? To figure it out? Saying the app isn't ready, either cuz he's either spent more time trying to figure out what's going on or is just saying its not ready so he has an excuse to have more time to find out more?

Finally on characters, Norris and Chester... I can imagine the smug looks on jonny and Alex's faces seeing all of us lose our collective shit as we were all trying to figure out who they were playing, just for them to be spooky siri and alexa.... God damn it you two. Though, maybe them reading out the cases is a way of showing what the real cases are, like how in tma it was if the statement had to be read on a tape recorder?

Okay, onto the stat- i mean cases... the cases. The first one feels pretty tma standard someone deciding to fuck around and find out too late, however the "some of him" bit...hate, love it, but hate it. The second one with Chester, the first institute mention we have, I'm more surprised it was in the first episode, I thought it would come later. Again with the "Canaries should stay above ground".... love and hate it... these god damn one-liners... also, does anyone have any thoughts on what that photo is? Eyes are mentioned obviously, and I wanna hear what peoples thought it might be, I have a feeling a pair of those eyes could be redcanarys' eyes, and the poor sod is most likely dead. Again, Sam definitely has a connection to the institute. I don't know how, but he does.

Finally, props to the orchestra for that music, Jesus Christ, it was so good! The ending music is essentially "the world is ending because the villain finally won" kind music, legit got goosebumps when I first listened to it, want that music injected into my bloodstream please and thank you!

#the magnus protocol #alice dyer #sam khalid #gwendolyn bouchard #lena kelley #colin becher #my blorbos #thank god no bonzo...yet #that will be a jumpscare im not prepared for