#am i having human emotions

[lotus-pear]

whatever happens, please don’t break

#god not a fucking DAY goes by where i don’t think of that one interview and this quote #does anybody have it word for word? please? i’ll pay you #literally every single time i think about how kunikida as w character was MADE for dazai. specifically to share his suffering #i actually sob into my hands because that means they were both destined for tragedy together and the long dark road they will walk #will at least not be lonely. because they have each other. they are each other’s light in the darkness. #DO YOU UNDERSTAND #bro the fact that kunikida is painfully aware of the imperfection of the world and how he still continues to fight for his ideals #paralleling dazai who finds humanity beautiful but cannot become attached bc he feels alienated from emotion #THE WAY THEY COULD HELP EACH OTHER????? SICK SICK SICK I AM SICK #i love kunikidazai sm i wish more ppl could see the potential #but some of you aren’t ready for the sheer perfection of their dynamic #also i’ve noticed that i am only capable of drawing dazai properly when it’s with kunikida what’s up with that 💀 #and sorreyy i know their height difference isn’t THAT big but i didn’t realize until i was halfway into the coloring 😔💔 #osamu dazai #dazai osamu #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunikidazai #knkdz #kunizai #lotus draws

[ms-demeanor]

I don't even really get the impression that if you were domming someone there would be anything "motherly" about

Yeah no I'm much more likely to be projecting semi-detached professionalism. If I'm domming I'm not really there for roleplay, I'm there to supervise you while you're locked down and squirming. I talk like tech support when I'm in a scene. "Not too tight? Good. I'm gonna take the vibe up two settings, yeah? Okay, great, I'm gonna leave that there, snap your fingers when it's getting to be too much; we'll keep ramping it up until you have to tap out." I like being unaffected and in control while people are losing it and I am not particularly tactile or into being touched or getting off while I'm doing that.

Which is great if you like to be dehumanized and objectified and hand yourself to me like you're taking a car to a mechanic! Less great if you're looking for a lot of praise or comfort or physical contact in the moment.

#I'm good at aftercare! I can be very comforting during aftercare! #but i am not interested in projecting emotions like a normal human being for my own sake #i have dommed for people who need a kinder gentler touch than my normal vibe #but it is a lot more effort and makes me a lot less certain of myself #i can help you with your medical kink not your mommy kink

[hypogryffin]

Erina and Sophie....

erina and sophie..... perhaps even sophie and erina....

#persona 5 #p5 #asks & requests #p5t #p5t erina #p5s #p5s sophia #sophia persona 5 #persona 5 sophia #persona 5 strikers #persona 5 scramble #persona 5 tactica #i will fill the p5s tag my fucking self if i have to #comics #chef recommended #good lord is that all the tags i need. am i done am i free. YEESH okay #anyways i think theyd be so silly together #no one utilises the comedic potential of erina living in the fantasy french revolution but i think deep learning ai sophia is a good match #either way theyre so good as parallels like hold on SPOILERS FOR BOTH GAMES PAST THIS POINT #both of them were created as last-ditch efforts. erina is the manifetation of toshiros suppressed hope and rebellion and sophia is ichinose #attempt at understanding the human heart and her own repressed emotions #theyre both constructs of the heart in one form or another even if they were created in v different ways

[uncanny-tranny]

You know, I don't necessarily buy into the idea of "you die twice; once when your heart stops beating, and the second when you are forgotten" because I don't think we're truly forgotten.

Throughout history, we've found proof of people existing, well after their death, well after they've been forgotten by their community and time. Even if we do not have names for these people, we know they were alive. We touch their bones, and we internalize their lives. We learn how they lived through the stories we interpret from their bones, and then we tell others about them. They haven't been forgotten, and it's not unlikely that you won't be forgotten.

Why is it that we only "count" if we are immortalized in the history books, if we scar time to the point nothing would be the same if we were forgotten?

And, anyway, look at this cat, who died so long ago, but whose memory is still remembered:

#positivity #described images #image description in alt #death tw #this was partially to show off buffins because he's adorable <3 #i always get so emotional looking at these old photos of animals just knowing they are physically not here anymore #but i am so grateful to have known they were physically alive once #and the same is said for humans #i cannot believe that we die ever in a permanent and true and final way #and maybe that is 'too hopeful' but i don't care🩷💛 #we cannot predict the future and that includes if we will be forgotten. we never know

[coffeeisfortheresponsible]

dragons rising s2 moodboard

#almost done watching it #i just am also running a garage sale so i have to keep pausing it #i am sitting outside watching ninjago it is quite lovely #but i have to interact with random people and pretend i’m totally sane right now and not experiencing every human emotion at once #ninjago #lego ninjago #ciftrchats #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising #ninjago dr

[bittersweetresilience]

so do you think he succeeded?

#i woke up out of nowhere at seven in the morning with his speech playing in my head over and over again #a better world. a free world. turn me into shredded paper #and i was thinking about how i would be really annoyed if the wish never had any consequences because if that was the case félix deserved #to make his own. in this new world there's still obfuscation. people are still pulling the strings. there's still fucking nepotism LMAO #i also almost put the ring scene as who gets powers and who doesn't because i think a lot about whether ladybug would have granted all #sentimonsters autonomy or only the ones she perceives to be human #i didn't because i couldn't find anything else that fit what's right or wrong but know i have many thoughts on this subject #miraculous ladybug #🌃 #ml gifs #ml emotion #ml recreation #ough... félix #sunny from the future here i kept this in my drafts for a bit but it shall now be dispensed to you because i am a magnanimous ruler

[wayward-wren]

I am thinking about. Jamie and the Second Doctor.

Because out of all the incarnations of the Doctor, Two is arguably the one who uses manipulation and disguises the most. He thrives on using people's intelligence against them, on tricking people, on bluffing and his bluffs working. He has a different disguise every story pretty much and is constantly playing some kind of role.

And then you look at Jamie, and some of Jamie's most front and center traits are his loyalty and his honesty (and protectiveness, but less applicable). Jamie is loyal to a fault and extremely trusting of the Doctor. He's honest and straightforward and deeply caring.

And Jamie is the one who sticks by the Second Doctor for as long as he physically can--and you'd look at those two characters, one who is manipulative and cunning, and one who is loyal to a fault, and you'd think the Doctor would easily be able to take advantage of Jamie, that Jamie would just be a tool for him but he's not, they're on equal footing. Jamie pulls the Doctor down and reminds him what being human is all about.

#wren rambles #doctor who #second doctor #jamie mccrimmon #something in there about every doctor having one specific companion who balances them out and tackles that incarnations exact biggest flaw. #for One it's probably Barbara and Ian (Barbara if we're being specific) #been a while since i saw the other classics #ten its donna for SURE #probably something in there for twelve and clara #though i'm not sure if she exactly cancels out his flaws or just Makes Him Worse <3 #leela filling a similar role for Four that jamie fills for two? #that like... so called primitive Lower Intelligence contrasting with the Doctor's Higher Intelligence #or something #it's the doctor needing someone to remind him about human emotions and things #because he's so Able to overlook all that #and risks seeing people just as tools #and Two is more susceptible to that than other doctors I think #so contrasting him to Jamie's almost blind loyalty is *chefs kiss* fantastic #anyway i dont know if i am at all explaining myself but yeah #point is. the doctor could get jamie to do pretty much anything #point is. he doesn't

[sheryl-lee]

idk if this makes sense. but i kind of love that the last of us makes me cry and viscerally FEEL true emotions on a weekly basis. like i cant remember the last tv show i watched that had me consistently bawling my eyes out and so immersed in a show because of the characters, the story, the incredibly strong writing, etc. and it doesn't feel manipulative. it just feels profound and beautiful and poetic but also tragic and... human.

#it's a whole spectrum of emotion!!! it's beautifully tragically human!!!! is that not what it is to exist!!!! #and it's therapeutic honestly. to spend like an hour in a world that isnt real but that you can relate aspects of your life to. #and you can just connect to these characters and their experiences and release the emotions that have been building up inside. #i'm sure that if you've played the game you feel this all the more strongly #but as someone who hasn't and went into tlou without prior knowledge #i'm just very pleased with it and idk i love watching a show that can elicit such a strong reaction from me #granted i AM what people would call 'sensitive' and 'emotional' or whatever #but even for me i dont think i've felt quite this intensely about a show - especially not right away during a first season #these are just my half baked thoughts and i definitely could say so much more but i'll leave it here for now #sameera.txt #the last of us

[front-facing-pokemon]

#floette #aaahhh yes. i love how they're always going :D in sv every time you look at them #whenever i see this pokémon i always think of a fucked up little man bc one of my characters in my pmd oc campaign thing that i talk abt #is a floette. he's a human-turned-floette that was like. a really rigid and emotionally cut off software developer with a passion for his #work and really subdued emotions kinda Businessman Guy who got turned into a tiny little fairy-type flower creature and is super fucked up #about it. not because he hates being a girly little flower‚ but because he's like “how the hell am i gonna use a computer NOW” #and all he wants to do is get back to the human world so he can do his boring dayjob again and not have to be a little flower guy #so i look at this thing and i'm like. yeeeeaaahh. fucked up little man who goes crazy learning he's stuck as a flower baby forever now

[hella1975]

‘andrew goes to the roof bc his fear of heights reminds him that he’s Human and Can Feel’ is the most wattpad angst kind of shit and it SHOULD be laughable in the same way ‘neil doesn’t smoke he just lights his cigarette bc the smell reminds him of his dead mother’ is laughable but in all honesty if i think about it for more than 2 seconds i WILL start sobbing violently

#I HAVE AN EXAM IN THREE HOURS. WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT HIM #like. he wants to feel he wants to be human there’s a part of him that desperately craves that despite everything he says and does #to contradict that despite everyone calling him monster every fucking day of his life #he actively chases an environment that unsettles him and makes him uncomfortable #because the very existence of those emotions comforts him. he has been so fucking dehumanised his entire life #by EVERYONE his family his fosters his friends the COURT. how do you make sense of that #HE SHOULDVE BEEN AT THE CLUBBBBBB #andrew minyard #aftg

[gideonisms]

WHO is saying prose in tlt is too melodramatic?? It is the perfect amount of melodramatic for what’s happening bffr

I have seen people mock the style of the prose as too homestuck adjacent and clearly written by someone who also writes fic. First of all I'm like...if you hate those things so much, I've got bad news for you about 75% of the queer sff getting written these days! I think it's actually fair not to enjoy that style but I do also notice the lines people usually point to are either silly gideon navisms which you either find endearing or you don't but they're clearly a character choice, not a feature of the basic narration of the series. OR they're melodramatic lines spoken by necromancers and cavaliers about each other which I think sometimes people mistake as the author trying to be straightforwardly romantic versus portraying the dramatic emotions of these young queer people who are genuinely not okay + the ways their society is set up to require this kind of over the top devotion from them. Tazmuir does have fun with the drama and I love that about her writing but it's a more thoughtful choice than it might appear at first glance, imo

#replies #let her cook!! #i guess i am one of those readers who is usually more frustrated when it feels to me like the characters don't have any big emotions #or aren't motivated by anything #i'm like these people aren't making any dumb decisions for love. sounds fake i don't think humans really live their lives this way #this will bias me in favor of melodrama but look. tazmuir's makes SENSE for the story she wants to tell

[lotus-pear]

bsd fic authors i understand yalls pain SO well right now why is it so fucking HARD to write dazai. like i have a whole fucking spreadsheet dedicated to tireless analysis i have done on my part so i can accurately characterize him but he is such an unpredictable and morally gray character that it's hard knowing his limits and boundaries and where he draws the line for himself.

#i hate when ppl make him out to be a sadistic villain with no remorse. like did we read the same manga 💀 #but at the same time he is NOT crying abt all the ppl he sent to the grave. he sleeps just fine at night knowing he committed atrocities #yes he feels remorse? but he isn't like kunikida to weep at someone's grave for failing to save them #and then we have his emotions themselves #dazai isn't emotionless. far from it. he has difficulty expressing affection but yk he finds someone endearing when he trusts them #trust is very important to dazai and is one of the aspects of human emotion that he can fully grasp #but like everything else is in a hazy gray area that he does not feel like exploring. he feels alienated from his humanity bc of this #AUUUGHH can someone help me with character analysis PLEASE #I WASNT PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS MF UNTIL RECENTLY SO I MISSED OUT ON A LOT OF IMPORTANT DETAILS #see i would go and reread a few light novels but like i don't have time for that #and this is for dazai specifically. i am very well versed on his relationships w other charcaters #but just like asigiri himself said: it's very difficult to write dazai and write him WELL #so yeaaa i have a lot of smart ppl following me pls help #bsd #ALSO MY FRIEND STILL HAS NO LONGER HUMAN UUUUGHHHHHH I NEED THAT BACK BC I TABBED IT A SHIT TON #FOR LIKE CONNECTIONS TO YOZO AND BSD DAZAI AND WHERE ASIGIRI DREW INSPIRATION FROM YOZOS CHARACTER FOR DAZAI #THAT WOULD BE SUCH A VALUABLE FUCKING RESOURCE BC I DID SOME ANNOTATIONS IN THEM TOO BUT MY BOOK IS ANOTHER FUCKING STATE #I HATE IT HERE FML

[sea-buns]

Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?

You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.

You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.

You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—

you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."

Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.

#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time. #critical role #cr spoilers #c3e77 #fearne calloway #ashton greymoore #bells hells #just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise #but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh? #edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies #since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne?? #anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top #other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post #i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible. #but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the #other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under. #hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious? #it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will #all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an #overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were #for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne.. #there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior #as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT. #ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL #cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE. #<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post. #im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho. #im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN #be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree

[carlyraejepsans]

Tragic! Gorgeous game with extremely moving premise deathly afflicted with 2011 dialogue writing

#playing to the moon with kal and i cannnnot stand the protagonists jc #like i remember there being a plot point about ethical questioning of their corporation with protests etc #so i am PRAYING that their irony poisoned attitude gets dissected and dismantled in the story #but so far it is very grating. in a way that actively distracts and takes away from the emotional beats of the story #which is doubly annoying because eva DOES have small moments where it seems like she connects with johnny on a human level #but they never go anywhere. #like kal said ''it would be better if they were either way better people or a lot worse'' #this way it's just. annoying

[uncanny-tranny]

The effort to turn every trans person into a political activist and place the burden of political leadership onto us is the same mindset as thinking trans lives are inherently political. Combating this means holding trans people to individual standards. If a trans person occupies political spaces, it should be because they have chosen to, not because people look at their transness and the "political implications" and it is all they can see

#trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #mtf #nonbinary #like i've seen it time and time again where a trans person vents about something and the backlash they recieve is for 'the optics' of it... #...it's a bad-faith reading of trans people expressing real emotions where we are taught that 'optics > well-being' #like if you think am individual trans person does as much harm as - say - a transphobic political leader then you have drank their kool-aid #you have fallen for the idea that transness is inherently other/political/unnatural and everybody else is the default/natural/neutral #THAT is why it's not cool to do that. it's not cool to treat trans people transphobicly #like i talk about politics a lot on here because there is intersection between my life and trans life and politics #but that's not my only 'use' and i'd hate for my political posts to be the only thing i'm good for #like as a trans person i am a human being even if you don't like to think that

[skitskatdacat63]

Yes these have all already been posted, but 2023 Vettonso comp post for me because I'm going to have an emotional breakdown

#i dont want to sound like a maniac but. i manifested this JDKFLGLVLV #okay but understand. ive been vettonso posting for like 3 or so weeks now #have been drawing them like its my god damn career #have been squealing and screeching over them with everyone #and like oh hey! they're both gonna be at suzuka! and seb is having a bee event! maybe nando will go! #BUT THEN NO I DONT HAVE TO JUST LIVE WITH SCRAPS. I GOT A WHOLE FUCKING MEAL #I AM GOING TO SCREAM AND CRY AND ROLL AROUND THE FLOOR #*i say as if i haven't done all of those things in quick succession after seeing these #yknow very fortuitous time for my parents to have gone on a vacation. so they didnt have to be witness to the emotional breakdown i just had #i was making noises that have not been uttered by human beings before :) #BUT LIKE INWAS LITERALLT JUDT DRAWING VETTONSO FANART #AND I FINISHED IT AND SCHEDULED IT #and was all silly in the tags like 'haha wonder if we'll get any interaction' #and then i go to scroll tumblr one last time before slepeing and I RECEIVE THIS FUCKING 12 COURSE MEAL #i cannot actually describe the emotion i felt when i first saw the pic #like genuine fucking shock through my body like just was like 'is this actually happening' #i said to C today 'i will be happy if we even get a pic of them within eachother's vicinity' #and well wow. theyre certainly within each others vicinities rn #if we actually get any more pics i think i will keel over i think i will actually turn into dust and powder on the floor #UGHHHHHHH JUST THE TIMING!!!!!! THEY DID IT FOR ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #sometimes manifesting does work. after you draw like 20 hours worth of art of them #im trying to be concise but i really cant #because its literally just animal screeching and whining noises in my head rn #HOW DO I SLEEP AFTER THIS??????????????? #formula 1 #sebastian vettel #fernando alonso #vettonso #2023 japanese gp #we do a little bit of f1