#always looking for more place suggestions if you're so inclined

[prettyboykatsuki]

WON'T YOU LEND ME YOUR FAITH? | R. ITOSHI

❁ tags ; fem!reader (reader dresses femininely + is referred to as a girl / with she/her pronouns), reader is shorter than rin , strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, getting together, rin is soo teenage boy (and makes some annoying teen-boy comments), slow-burn, making out is as suggestive as this gets, stereotypical shoujo romance, usage of honorifics, coming of age

❁ wc ; 21.4k (insane. most insane thing ive ever seen)

❁ a/n ; i'm genuinely appalled by the length of this fic. how did that happen. what in the world. this fic is truly just. every single shoujou manga trope crammed into one okay. my silly little self indulgent romance !!!!

also this fic is sfw + takes place in their third of hs so im not gonna say mdni that's silly. however if you're a minor please do not follow me i post heinous dark content and this fic is a fluke in the timeline dskffjkfd

❁ synopsis ; the love story of a sensitive, stoic soccer player and an eccentric wannabe journalist

or that time you confess to itoshi rin, knowing he'll reject you, and asking to befriend him in spite of it.

“I like you,” 

A breeze of wind passes.

“What?” 

You confess to Itoshi Rin at the start of the Spring semester. On the school rooftop with your head down. Bent at a near ninety degrees as you hold out what looks like a love letter.

For a minute, he can’t do anything more than stare. He’s received countless confessions in highschool. Half of which he rejected immediately, not even stopping to hear the full extent of their feelings. Why would he? The lukewarm ideas of first love had never been of interest. Even before his fight with Sae, Rin was always focused on his goals. 

After his second year of high school was spent in Bluelock, Rin has only returned for his third. He promised his parents he’d graduate properly, and Bluelock was off-season until Ego could fully prepare for the next stages. 

And a lot has changed since then. But some parts of him, namely his feelings towards the idea of conventional relationships, haven't changed at all. 

It’s only been a little less than three weeks since school had started, and by now he’s received more confessions than he can really remember. All of which he’s rejected coldly, and blankly, because Itoshi Rin has never been in the business of coddling anyone. Most of those girls he’s never even met. Knows nothing about them because they’re first or second years he’d never even spoken to. 

Rin, however, does know you. You’ve been in his class in all 3 years of his highschool, and he’s seen you around more than once. You’re in the newspaper club, which he remembers because you covered their winning match back when Rin was a first year. He wouldn’t call you friends, but you’ve spoken to each other enough that he can remember your name with a little effort. 

He also  remembers you being sort of annoying. You’re one of those loud and earnest types that he can’t stand. 

A year ago, Rin would’ve denied knowing you at all. But now that things with Sae have cleared up just a little - he’s not inclined to take his anger out on you. He knows you. Not well, but enough.

And if his reputation precedes him at all, then you know Rin too. You know that he’s never once gone out with a single girl in his 3 years of highschool and that most of the guys in all three grades consider him an arrogant jerk. You know that he mostly plays soccer alone during breaks and that he only really hangs out with one person. 

Which means you must know that he doesn’t harbor any feelings for you. And that he’s going to reject your confession without thinking twice about it. 

In the first place, he was just curious if you were stupid enough to do it. If you really called him up here for a roof-top confession. The fact that you were is what’s stifling him. Your words are familiar. He’s heard them so many times. But it’s baffling. It’s ridiculous. 

You lift your head to face him. You’re still smiling, though there’s something more there that he can’t understand. He doesn’t do well with people like you begin with. He finds himself backing away when you jog up closer towards him. 

He’s taller than you, he notices. You pick your head up to look at him and smile, toothy and at ease. You hold the letter up again and shove it towards him, though you don’t seem like you’re expecting him to take it. He stares at you. 

“I like you,” You repeat, smooth and bubbly. He frowns. 

“I don’t like you.” 

He has expectations for this part. Normally he receives a saddened look like a dog whose tail he stepped on or a fit of crying (sometimes genuine, sometimes with the intent of guilt.) Sometimes he gets an awkward smile trying to seem unbothered by the whole situation. 

You don’t falter though. You don’t even flinch at the words, cold as ice and steely. It throws him off. 

“I know,” You say back,  prying the letter away from him. You turn the other way, walking towards the metal grates and for a minute Rin wonders if you’re going to do something drastic. You don’t though, instead sticking your the paper in the air “That’s why I have a proposal,” 

He stares, absolutely dumbfounded. You turn again towards him. 

“I want to get to know you. And keep confessing to you,” You say first, and Rin immediately goes to reject you until you put your hands up “And I want you to keep rejecting me.” 

He’s baffled. Really. 

“What?” 

“So I can gradually lose my feelings for you. Nothing that different on your end, honestly..” 

It sounds annoying. It really does. If it were anyone else, under any other circumstance he would scoff and tell them to deal with their own shitty feelings alone just like everyone else. But there’s no hidden intention there. Rin’s always been good at sniffing that out. Your words are pure as can be.

Frustratingly simple and twice as sincere, no matter how confusing the whole thing is. 

“Why should I?” 

“We can be friends,” You reply like it’s the best deal he could ask for. “Isn’t that enough? Not like you really have any right now.” 

He scoffs bitterly albeit he can’t counter you. 

“Friendship is lukewarm. I don’t care about any of that stuff,” 

“Lukewarm? Really? Then..think of it like I’ll be your shield. You hate when people socialize with you right? I’ll help you deal with it.” 

That doesn’t sound too bad actually. On top of that, he’s kind of curious what your deal is. He rolls his eyes at you, turning to face the other way. 

“Do whatever you want. It’s not like it matters.” 

His response makes you beam. He hears you shout from the otherside of the yard, followed by the sound of your footsteps noisily thudding against the concrete as you try to catch up with him. He walks faster than you just to spite you for earlier, but he hears your last words through a huff of breath. 

“Jeez, you’re fast. I’ll see you at lunch, be prepared!” 

Somehow, he feels like he’s crossed paths with something he shouldn’t’ve. 

__

You keep up with your end of the deal with Rin to the best of your ability. 

The upsides of your arrangement is that the usual annoyances Rin has to deal with have decreased significantly in the time you’ve been hanging around him. You’re very good at using your speech to sway conversations one way or the other without upsetting the other party.

Normally, Rin’s rejections for different things leave a bitter taste in the air. He’s never been good at mincing his words for anyone and while it doesn’t affect him - the strange stares and whispers he gets are a little annoying to deal with. People always take his disinterest personally. Rin has always hated that. He was probably a little gentler about the denial before but still. 

While other people are too stupid to pay it any mind, you’re clever at turning the tides your way. You always manage to completely divert their questions without making them feel uncomfortable. Rin has tried, many times, to actually break down how you’re doing it. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to replicate it, no matter how much he studies you. 

He’s reluctant to admit it, but really, your presence has significantly lowered the number of obstacles in his daily life and made him overall, less irritable. 

Instead of many annoying things, there’s only you. Which is tolerable in comparison. 

You also expect him to uphold his end of the deal. For the most part, this has just meant you inserting yourself into his usual activities. It started out small enough, mostly just you sitting with him during lunch. It draws too much attention to eat in the classroom so you both fuck off to the roof. 

(You often joke about how romantic it is, reminiscing on your rejected first love with as much melodrama as you can muster. 

Rin never laughs about it to your face, but he admits it’s funny. Your stupidity is mildly amusing, at least ) 

There, you eat lunch together. Rin learns you make yourself colorful bentos from time to time- though some days are much less elaborate than others. You like to unwind that way, your designated and nightly me-time. You work part-time, and you take care of your neighbors kids by helping them every morning and night. 

Rin doesn’t ask you for more, not willing to deliberately show interest. 

But you notice his curiosity for better or for worse and explain that she, the woman next door, used to make you dinner back when your parents were too busy. You have an older brother who's nearly twelve years your senior so you were alone for most of your childhood. She had children late, but they feel like your little siblings. So you help them in the mornings and in the evenings when you have time. 

Rin learns you, funnily enough, have a sense of obligation towards other people that he can’t fully comprehend. He forgot there were people like that. In an environment like Bluelock that is so dead set on fostering ego, it’s easy to forget something so simple. 

You haven’t confessed to him again since that time. Not like he’s expecting it, but given your personality he wonders why. He thought it’d be more of a daily occurence, something like a bit you did. But you never do. Even when at times, it’s so heavy in the atmosphere even he can tell you want too. 

Admittedly, Rin wonders a lot more about you than he cares to. He wonders why you spend so much time with him when you have plenty of other friends who seem to cherish you. He wonders why you care so much about the dying club you're in. He wonders if this, in some strange way, stems from some kind of obligation.

He wonders, sometimes, what about him you could even like. It’s probably something stupid. You’d probably think long and hard before going on to say that you like him because he’s handsome or cool. Something shallow and meaningless. 

He tells himself that when he starts thinking about it again. 

__

Rin gets roped into cleaning the classroom with you. 

He’s used to being paired with other people. But he’s never had to do with you before, even in the years prior. Or maybe he did. He doesn’t recall much of his first year. 

Still, now that it’s already mid-May, Rin has never been on cleaning duty with you. He’s conscious of the sound of your name these days. It’s not something he’s happy about. 

It’s a simple affair. Just 15 or 20 minutes. Nothing to talk about. Not really. 

But, today you’re alone with him. Alone in an empty classroom with light pouring through the windows and reflecting off of the wooden desks. You’re busying yourself with wiping down the chalkboard, humming quietly. Rin has the broom and dust pan, slowly working himself towards the front of the room. 

It’s mostly quiet. Just your humming. The soft thud of a dust pan, a gentle brush of the bristle. 

Rin feels a crick in his neck, half-way done with the task at hand. He stares at you, off in the front. In your own little world as you fix everything up diligently without turning your head to look up at him even once. 

The nape of your neck is visible from the way you’re standing. There’s a chain there. Do you wear a necklace under your uniform? He can see the slope of your shoulders. The light reflects on you. 

It stops him dead in his tracks. All he can hear is the quiet. The soft humming of your voice. The thud of the dust pan, the woosh of an eraser. The gentle bristle of a broom. The sound of his own heartbeat, a little louder than it was a minute ago. 

He shakes his head. He goes back to sweeping. 

__

“Why do you look like that?” 

You look depressed. For Rin, this expression on you is unusual. You do look sad sometimes.  Somber, occasionally but the look you have on your face right now is down right harrowing. You’re staring blankly out into the open, sitting in the usual spot the two of you have lunch at. But you’ve hardly touched your food and your favorite juicebox (a lunchtime staple) doesn’t have a straw in it yet. 

It’s freaking him out, quite frankly. He stares at you, waving a hand in front of your face until you click back into reality. You jump in your skin at the sight of him before taking a deep breath once you’ve realized who’s in front of you. 

“Oh. It’s just you. Sorry,” You say, immediately going for your juice. See? “What did you say?” 

He sighs, sitting down next to you with his own lunch. Nothing special, something his mom likes to pack when he’s at home - though he doesn’t often take it. He opens up his own tin, taking chopsticks out attached from the top. 

“I asked why you looked like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like someone just died.” 

You look at him morbidly, clasping your hands and leaning forward with your elbows on your knees. 

“My midterm grades,” You say solemnly, voice wavering ever so slightly “They’re detestable. A shame to my bloodline.” 

Rin looks at you plainly. 

“Aren’t you an idiot to begin with?” 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m average. Super average. But I scored even lower than usual and I’m concerned. I need to do well on the next one and on my entrance exams.” 

Oh, right. Rin forgot since he has no plans to take any. 

“Do you know what you want to do for college?” He asks, mostly out of obligation. 

“I want to study journalism.” There’s a wispiness to your way of speaking. It gives the air a sentimental feel. “There’s a private university with a good program I want to get into but they’re kind of tough. So I have to focus and do well,” 

“What subject are you struggling with?” 

You deflate all over again. 

“Chemistry and Classical Japanese,” 

Rin does well in both subjects. He thinks it over, and decides he can consider this payback. That’s all it is. He’s never liked owing people for favors and while you say this much is enough - Rin can rest assured about your little deal if he’s actually been of use to you in return. He remains impassive as he takes a sip of water. 

“Do you want me to help you study?” 

You turn to him immediately, suddenly full of life. He doesn’t like the gleam in your eyes, an immediate regret settling in as he stares at you, eyes full of disdain. You don’t hesitate grabbing his hand, putting it to your forehead and bowing deeply as you face him. You’re like a fly that keeps buzzing around him. 

“Are you serious? Really? Forreal? Do you mean it?” 

“If you keep being  a dipshit I’m going to take it back,” 

You pull away, hands folded in your lap, going stone faced.

“I would be very grateful,” You say, hands clasped in front of your face. He rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” He says bluntly, staring out into space “I just don’t want to owe you any favors.” 

This you laugh at, leaning back on the wall behind you - with your legs stretched out. 

“Don’t worry,” You reply, self-assured. “Somehow, you asking me to study with you so innocently really cements it in that you don’t have a shred of affection for me.” 

Something in him stirs. He ignores it. 

“Never in a million years.” 

You laugh light-heartedly. 

“You’re so cold to me, Itoshi-kun.” 

“You still call me that.” He grimaces. You stare at him confused. 

“How else would I call you?” 

“When you use my last name it reminds me of my brother,” 

“...Are you implying I should use your first name?” 

Oh. Shit. That is what he sort of said, isn’t it? 

“No,” He denies, somehow unable to come up with anything worthwhile “Don’t address me at all.” 

“Eh? But that’s impossible? I can try but,” 

Only an idiot like you would think to actually try. He shakes his head. It’s no good after all. 

“Shut up,” He decides, because there’s not anything else he can think to say “We can study at the library.” 

You’re quick to reject the proposal. 

“We have to pick somewhere else. Like a cafe or something,” You say, not looking at him. You have your phone pulled up now, looking for places nearby. He’s lost again. 

“What? Why? Isn’t it easier if it’s at school?” 

You glance over at him wide-eyed, before suddenly smiling. It’s a knowing smile, almost like you feel sorry for him. He wants to ask why you look like that. It’s weirdly guarded and he hates that from you. He stares at you, trying to will you to explain yourself. You’re good at reading his thoughts, frustratingly enough, so he’s not accustomed to asking. 

Which means your lack of answer is deliberate, and even with the pressure he’s putting on you, you don’t budge.

“Trust me on this one,” You voice light and airy. “It’s better if we find somewhere away from school, too. There’s still some time to look, so no rush.” 

He lets it go because he doesn’t have any other choice. Lunch passes and you talk like everything's normal.

The question lingers in the back of his mind. 

__ 

Rin spends most of his time between classes watching soccer. If he has some free time on his day off, he’ll look for a new movie to watch. There’s a new foreign film coming out from a director who he really likes and he’s just finished watching the trailer.

Thirsty, with nothing to do - he stands to his feet and briefly surveys the classroom. He wants a drink and there’s a vending machine down the hallway with a sports drink that tastes like..something. 

His airpods are close to being dead so there’s no music as he makes his way. He’s not a fan of being forced to listen to the chatter of the general populace so it’s not that hard to ignore.  

It catches his attention when he hears your name in passing before turning the corner of the hall. It stops him dead in his tracks, something tense left in the syllables after . He doesn’t know why he stopped, not exactly. He figured it’d be annoying if his presence caused a ruckus. 

He’s used to people talking about you, though they usually describe you as a busybody. The Senpai who’s everywhere. A hand in every jar, or something like that. But there’s a tone to that, mild amusement - never malice, that Rin is more than accustomed to. 

This is not that, he notices. He leans on the wall and listens. A group of girls. Some of the voices he recognizes. They’re from the third year classroom down the hall. 

“It’s like, I don’t know,”  Eto-san, he thinks. She’s come up to him before, more times than he can really count on one hand. Rin knows the type. Kind but not really. To the point it’s hard for anyone to call her out on it. “It’s weird how much she hangs around him. She’s not a bad girl or anything,” 

The addition makes Rin’s eye twitch. Yeah. He’s very familiar with this type. He keeps listening. Another voice, but he has no idea who this one is. 

“Really? But Senpai is pretty kind to me,” 

“Mm, I guess so. I just wonder if it makes Itoshi-kun uncomfortable, you know? With pushy people like that, it doesn’t matter how blunt you are. I just worry about him a bit.” 

If it wasn’t so annoying to listen in, Rin would laugh. He’s never understood girls. Especially not highschool ones. He doesn’t pay attention to that kind of social hierarchical shit to begin with, only forced to acknowledge it because other people do. None of it matters to him.

He does think back to what you said a week ago, about finding a place away from school to study. It clicks. You probably know they talk about you like this. Or you could surmise this outcome. Rin should expect that level of awareness from you. Sincere. Always attuned to everyone. Of course this is something you know but he doesn’t. 

Why didn’t you tell him? That’s annoying. It’s nothing he couldn’t deal with knowing. He would’ve got it if you explained it earlier. 

“Oh wow, you really care about him Eto-san,” 

There’s a soft chuckle that makes Rin annoyed. Is he supposed to feel grateful? They’ve barely spoken to each other.

“It’s not like that. It must be hard since he missed second year, that’s all.” 

With that, Rin decides to turn the corner. 

He’s a little pleased at the reaction. How everyone goes into complete silence when he arrives. He spares her a glance as he moves towards the vending machines, clicking in the buttons. A generic sports drink comes tumbling out of the bottom, and Rin grabs it with deliberate slowness - drawing out the unease. 

Eto-san gives him a blank stare before suddenly looking cheerful. She seems a little panicked, quickly trying to make conversation with him. The words don’t reach his ears as he stares down at her expressionlessly.

“Are you done?”  He says, ice-cold. She stutters at that. Rin suppresses a smile. 

“Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry, were you busy?” 

“Yeah,” He says back, completely apathetic. 

He doesn’t plan on saying anymore in the first place. The little victories count. 

It does feel like some kind of magic when he hears your voice from the other end of the hallway. You’re practically shouting it, and following is the sound of the hall monitors telling you off for running as you barrel toward him full speed. He can hear the thud of your sneakers all the way till they skid to a stop. 

You’re out of breath, bent over your knees and messy as you put a hand up. Most times, he would be embarrassed. He’d even tell you off for being such an idiot. Right now, he finds the corners of his lips upturned as he stares at you from where you stand. 

“Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I had some business with this guy. Oh, Fujita-chan, your hair is cute today! I like how it looks up on you,”  You say, to the girl who was calling you kind just a minute ago “I hope he wasn’t too cruel to you. He’s actually afraid of women, it’s a generational curse. Every night he turns into a frog and—” 

You shuffle in front him, arms stretched out like a shield. He sticks his leg out and kicks your shin. You yelp in pain. 

“What the hell are you talking about? Shut up.” 

“Ow, you strong bastard. You’re a soccer player, please be more conscious of your kicks. What if you shattered my shin? I know you’re loaded but it’s the principle of the thing, you know—” 

“Stop talking or I’ll kick you a second time.” 

You go silent immediately. 

“Forgive me, Itoshi-sama. I’ve strayed from the path of righteousness. Alas, the people need you.” You say, turning around. 

“Speak clearly.” 

“Homeroom teacher wanted to double check with you about after graduation plans and told me to go get you.” 

“Why you?”

“I was already walking around for the newspaper club.” 

He nods, not needing any more explanation. 

“H-hey, aren’t you acting too friendly with him?” 

So she decided to speak. This makes you falter, just a little, and Rin detests the look of self-satisfaction on her face. He speaks this time. It’s not like he can’t fight any of his own battles. 

“It’s fine,” He says, not bothering to think about it. He looks at you, as you stare back at him where he stands, wide-eyed. Idiot. “I don’t mind.”

You grin at him. Big and rounded and stupid, with all of your teeth like you’re giddy. If the hallway monitor wasn’t up your ass, he figures you’d be skipping about now. You usher him into the hall, back where he came from, waving them off.

“Be seeing you guys, then! Bye!” 

And you’re off. It’s quiet until you’re both completely out of ear-shot. Before he can go any further you stand in front of him, hands behind your back with a dumb look on your face. He already knows what you’re going to say. 

“Hey. I really like you a lot. Just now… my heart was fluttering. I thought I was hallucinating,” 

“You’re a moron,” 

“Ahhh, what should I do? I’m all hot under the collar. Is this what it’s like being a maiden in love? It’s great.” 

“How can you say that knowing I’ve already rejected you?” 

“It’s because you’ve rejected me, I can say that.” 

And Rin doesn't really get it. He’s not sure he ever will. 

But you seem happy enough. He decides against prying. 

__

Somehow, you’ve ended up at Rin’s house. 

He doesn’t know how it happened. Really. 

He mentioned to his mother off-handedly that he needed to help someone study. He should’ve lied about it then, but coming off of running drills makes him pretty stupid. He uses most of his brain power when he trains. So in an altered state of mind due to dehydration, hunger and general exhaustion - he answered  honestly instead of lying. 

You’re helping someone study? Yes, they’re from my class. 

Is it a boy or a girl? A girl. We’re friends. 

You can’t study at the library? She doesn’t want to, so we’re trying to find somewhere else. 

Why not invite her here, if her parents are okay with it? Her parent’s don’t really pay enough attention to be bothered. 

Wait, what is he saying? 

Rin doesn’t know how it happened. Really. Really. He tried pretty hard to reject his mothers advances about the situation but he’s never been one to upset her. The whole thing with Sae really tore her up so they both had a silent agreement to try and get along at home. And since Rin is still living at home for now, he tries harder to listen to her. Even so, he wasn’t planning on yielding for this one. 

Rin is not immune to his mothers guilt. A long lecture about how her only sons never cared about anything but soccer and how she’s worried she’s never going to have grandchildren later, he finally gave in and gave you a call at his dinner table. 

He was hoping you would come through and reject the offer. Say something stupid about how that’s dangerous territory for a young girl in love and let his mom down gently. He forgot about your whole thing about responsibility and being a nice girl who gets along well with adults. 

And now, the door is ringing and Rin knows he’s going to open it to you. He mostly blames himself for not thinking ahead.

Rin opens the door on a Saturday afternoon and the first thing he thinks is that you’re not wearing your uniform. 

You look…different. It’s weird. Your hair is styled in an unusual way, tied with something like ribbon. You’re wearing something flowy and loose but the neck is a little rounder than usual. There’s a necklace there, a heart-pendant with a chain. You have in...earrings. 

Rin thinks vaguely that you look…something. He doesn’t know. But in his vision you’re like a troublesome and amorphous blob that yammers on about nothing. And right now you look…not like that. 

“You’re dressed up.” Are the first words to come out of his mouth. You blink at him owlishly.

“Oh. Yeah. I wanted to make a good impression on your mom so I tried not to look sloppy.” You say sheepishly. He leans against the doorframe. 

“She doesn’t care about stuff like that.” 

“Well I do, okay? Now, can I come in?” 

“The white slippers are for you.”

He steps aside and lets you in. You have perfect manners. He probably should’ve expected that. You take your shoes off neatly and place them on the rack the same way, slipping your feet into the slippers provided. Rin just watches, eyes tracing the curve of your neck. 

“Where’s your mom?” You ask.

“In the kitchen making dinner. You’re staying for dinner right?” 

You blink at him, surprised. 

“I mean it’s not like I can’t.” 

“She’d be upset if you didn’t.” He says noncommittally before walking you down to the kitchen. 

His mother is right where he expects. He stands in the corner as you shuffle in watching on. She turns around to look at you, wiping her hands on her apron. 

“Oh, my, you must be Rin’s friend? Such a lovely girl. Welcome! Welcome.” 

To this, you bow your head as deep as it can go. The air around you feels serious. Rin scoffs internally. There’s a strange feeling in his chest that he can’t describe, seeing you bowing in front of his mom. An itch he can’t reach, locked tight around his ribs. 

You give his mother your name first and she smiles like she’s absolutely delighted just hearing it. 

“Thank you for having me. I brought some fruit with me as a gift, I hope that’s alright.” 

His mom shoots him a look that Rin deflects by turning away, opening the plastic bag you’ve handed to her. 

“Oh my! Aren’t these expensive fruits? Please thank your parents for me!” 

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. I work part-time, so I paid for them myself. It was the least I could do. I’m grateful for the tutoring.” 

You tense up, realizing that might’ve been an awkward thing to say. It isn’t. Even if it was, Rin’s mother has always been soft-hearted. His dad tells him they’re a lot alike but Rin doesn’t see it. Whatever it may be, Rin’s mom is too doting and too sociable to let you feel bad. Right now she seems emotional, an expression between empathy and pride. She reaches for you like it’s the most natural thing in the world, patting your head gently.

“How diligent. Thank you, then, for the fruit.” 

Rin can’t see your face but it’s easy to picture. 

“Of course. And pardon the intrusion! And uhm, thank you for having me for dinner.” 

Clumsy. Rin thinks you’re clumsy. A flickering light. His mom laughs brightly and tells you not to worry. She leans in closer like she’s whispering but Rin can hear her loud and clear. 

“Rin can be very brash but he’s a good boy, so thank you for being kind to him.” 

He feels embarrassed. Even readies himself to intervene. 

“He is very kind to me.” 

Wait. What?

His mom smiles even brighter, and mouths something like ‘take care of her’ when you’re not looking. He wants to stop it before it starts. You’re not dating. You’re hardly even friends, you’re just here to study. Rin almost wants to shout it, but he’s stuck. Before he can do any of that, you’re turning around and smiling like you haven’t said anything strange. 

What do you mean he’s kind to you? When his whole thing is rejecting you mercilessly? Being cruel?

What kind of person would ever describe him as kind? 

He can’t find the words he wants to say, so he takes you to his room in silence. 

__

You both make it to Rin’s room in one piece.

You’ve been studying now for about an hour. Given your personality, Rin was expecting more of a fuss. He thought you’d make some comment about being in a boys room and then fight off the actual studying like the plague. 

Much to his surprise, you started studying with him right away. Rin tries his best to tutor you, though he does make fun of you in the process. But you’re a try-hard all the same, stopping only to ask questions and get clarification occasionally.

You’ve been focused that whole time, miraculously enough. Rin studies too, but only a bit, after deciding to study some recent matches instead. 

( Every now and again, he’ll glance at you. Just to see if you’re stuck or still working. Each time, he gets caught up on the fact you’re not in your uniform and has to tear his eyes away. ) 

After a bout of silence, you yawn out loud, quietly shutting your workbook. 

“I’ve finished all my practice problems for today,” You announce, before deciding to lay down on his floor “I’m beat.” 

“I thought you were gonna give up before you started.”  Rin admits. You frown at him. 

“I was serious about needing tutoring. Thanks for all your help.” 

“I already told you it’s fine. Is there anything else? Finals are next week.” 

You shake your head. 

“Mm, I don’t think so. One of the guys from the newspaper club helped me with math so I’ll be okay.” 

…Huh? 

“From the newspaper club?” 

“Huh? Yeah. Murata-senpai. We’re in the same year. He’s a few months older so he insists on making me call him Senpai.” 

“And he helped you with math?” 

“Yeah. He was a delinquent like, all of first year but he really cleaned up his act. He’s actually really gentle.”

Rin frowns at that. 

“Do people usually describe delinquents as gentle?”  

You make a noise of indignance from where you’re laid on his floor. 

“Hey. Murata-senpai is really nice, okay? And he is gentle, so I won’t tolerate your usual judginess.” 

Rin rolls his eyes. 

“How’d you even meet him?” 

“Uh…I wanted to write a column about him, basically. He was helping in the garden last year and I kinda…stalked him. It sounds worse than it is. I just wanted to know what made him change.” 

“So stalking people is pretty typical for you.” 

You sit up and gape at him. Rin suppresses a laugh. 

“Anyways. I eventually flagged him down for an interview. Apparently, he had a real scare with his granny getting sick and decided he needed to cut the shit. He’s a good guy. He joined the newspaper club after the interview,” 

“After the interview…?” 

You nod, leaning forward with your elbows on the table in front of you. 

“Uh-huh. Said he was interested because of my passion or something. He’s been really nice to me ever since and helps me with all of the ideas I have.” You soften as you talk about it. Rin feels an ugly emotion in his chest “I’m worried about what will happen to the club after graduation, but Senpai is always encouraging me to make the most out of the time we still have. So I’m really thankful for him. That’s why you have to be nice.” 

Rin is super annoyed. He doesn’t know why he’s so annoyed but he is. How do you not realize this guy likes you? He doesn’t know why he’s opening his mouth to tell you what’s so obvious. It’s not like it really matters. Rin doesn’t like you in the first place, so if he informs you that your beloved Murata-senpai has feelings for you - it’s no big deal. 

In fact it might be better for everyone if you realize. He’s just frustrated by how clueless you can be sometimes. 

“He’s interested in you,” Rin says, against his better judgment. It feels like the words are welling up in his throat “Your senpai or whatever.” 

You blink at him stupidly. He wonders if you’re wearing mascara. 

“Huh? I doubt that somehow. Senpai is kind to me but I think he sees me like a little sister.” 

He scoffs at you. 

“You would think that. Most guys aren’t just nice to girls they don’t like.” 

“Not everyone is like you, yanno.” You say back without thinking twice. That’s not the point this time, he wants to say. And he’s right for this one. Anyone else with half of a brain would realize. You’re just… you. Which means you’re absolutely unaware of things pertaining to you. It’s the only reason he can think you’d deny something so obvious. 

The only reason you could come to the house of a boy you liked just to study. 

“Shut up. I’m saying this because you’re too much of a dumbass to put it together on your own. The guy definitely likes you.” 

“I didn’t know you were a love guru,” You say sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Childish. Annoying “It doesn’t matter if he does.” 

“Why wouldn’t it matter?” 

You give him an incredulous look. 

“Unfortunately my heart is captured by an aloof sportsman.” 

He doesn’t know why he feels relieved when you say that. He feels his heart all the way in his throat like he’s going to throw it up, even though his expression remains impassive. 

“You already know I don’t like you, though. It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it? Don’t a lot of people move on that way.”

You shake your head. 

“I’m not that sort of wishy-washy woman.” You reply, huffing your chest up and trying to ease the tension. You stop to shake your head, a small smile on your face. “You wouldn’t get it even if I explained.” 

“It’s annoying when you do that,” Rin voices, not bothering to cut it any other way “You did that with the girls at school too. I’m never gonna get it if you don’t bother explaining it to me.” 

You soften at this, then whisper. 

“...Why do you care?” But it’s not said with any malice. It’s not said sadly either. Just curious. He freezes, but doesn’t let it show. He wants to ask himself the same question. 

“I don’t. It’s just,” And he scoffs, not looking at your face “It’s a pain.” 

You hum, not expecting more of an answer. 

“I want to treasure my own feelings towards you,” You say, and something in Rin feels like it’s being set on fire. “It’s not just about having a boyfriend. If it was, then I’d consider Senpai's feelings.” 

“...So it’s about me, specifically?” 

“Yeah,” You say without offering any more explanation than that “It is. I like you.”

The words but why, linger in the air. You seem to be feeling merciful, as you lean back on your palms and stare up at his ceiling. You wear your heart outside of your body, more often than not. And he thinks that part of you is so hard to get used to. 

“You’re really awkward. And aloof. And you don’t have any friends.” 

“Is this some kind of revenge or…?” 

“But. You’re also sensitive. The more I know you, the more I think you’re kind and well-meaning. You uh, remind me of a cat.” 

He blinks. 

“A cat?” 

“A cat. Sometimes they want their own space. And sometimes they knock your water off your desk for fun. Plus they only really care about people in their own circle,”

“Again, is this—” 

“Let me finish, jeez. They’re solitary creatures. But like when they accept you, they get comfortable. An’ nice . And they look out for you in their own way. To me you’re a lot like that.” 

You give him a smile so warm it makes his back hot. So loud and so vibrant like it burst out of him at any minute. 

“I’ve uh, always been interested in you. I watched you play in Bluelock too. I kept thinking to myself, there’s something about you. I want to know more, even if it’s just a little. Stuff like that.” You talk so quietly yet it’s all Rin can hear. All Rin can see in his vision is you. All Rin can think about is you. “I’ve always been interested in other peoples stories.  So I thought, what a waste it would be, to throw away that feeling because of something like love or like. I thought, ‘What's your story, Itoshi Rin?’” 

Rin doesn’t know what to say so he chooses to say nothing. 

“When I confessed, I knew you would never like me. Because that’s just the sort of person everyone says you are. Still, what a waste, right? You miss all the shots you don’t take or whatever. So, I wanted to get to know you. I guess.”  

“I don’t get it. I get what you’re like but it still doesn’t make any sense. There’s nothing special to know, is there?” 

“Feeling that is special, don’t you think? That’s a special reason to me.” 

He doesn’t follow. You laugh lightly. 

“If I never became interested in Murata-senpai’s story, I would’ve never been his friend. If I gave up on trying to know you, just because you didn’t return to my one-sided feelings, then I would’ve never gotten to know you either. Don’t you think that’s a waste?” 

Rin doesn’t know. He’s never really cared about it. He’s rejected so many confessions and never once thought enough about any of them in any depth. That part of you is foreign. He can chalk it up to a difference in character. He can’t understand wanting to know someone just because. 

(Or maybe he can. He just hasn’t until now. Until this very moment, suspended in time. Where he wants to know what things make you the way you are.) 

Some small, dark part of him wants to ask why. Over and over until his throat feels raw - long enough to understand it. Even as he grips onto that desire so tight, with such bruising force, the words sit in his mouth. They taste like iron. They taste like a bitten tongue. If you’ve watched him all this time, then you know. Being chosen. He’s never been confident in that. Rin wants to ask, why him? 

What’s so special? Enough to keep talking to him? Enough to do any of this? Is getting to know people is always this difficult, he wonders. Does it always feel uncomfortable to be in proximity with someone? 

In the end, he can’t bring himself to ask. He can’t even bear to examine it in himself, the sense of dread washing over him like sickness. He’s nauseous. And this time, there’s a residue of tension he’s finding increasingly difficult to ignore. 

You come through again. He wonders if you can read his mind just like you do with all the nobodies at school. 

“Rin-kun,” You say, your voice like the summer heat. “Getting to know you makes me feel like my feelings aren’t a waste. I’m happy getting to know you. I want to treasure that.” 

What happens when you run out of things to know? The question is too heavy. He settles on a different one. He wants to understand it more. Just to put himself at ease. 

“Isn’t being in the same room with someone who rejected you uncomfortable?” 

“Maybe. But there’s a clear line for me and you, so it’s cool. In like, ten years, maybe someone will interview me about you. As your classmate and stuff. And I’ll go - ‘He’s actually a really nice guy. I actually had a crush on him.’ If I can say that, without being regretful, then that’ll be enough for me.” 

“That’ll be enough for you? Really?” 

“Really.” 

“You’re so weird.” He says, unsure of what else he could possibly say. You giggle, and lay back down on his floor. 

“I knew you’d say that.” 

__ 

Summer comes. 

It doesn’t occur to Rin how often he sees you in school until it all comes to  a halt. He has your number, and you text him often - about unimportant and trivial shit that you think of. In that way, it doesn’t even really feel like you’ve separated. 

But the sudden absence of your chattering in his life makes everything feel especially quiet. Summer is a boring time for Rin. It’s mostly the same. Practicing and playing and studying. On the few occasions he’s been out, it’s because some of the other Bluelock members are gathering and refuse to let him know even a breath of peace.

He’s seen Sae now, though they never really talk about anything. Sort of just look at each other and exchange enough words that their mom doesn’t cry before going back to their room. Sae will be gone before school starts back up again, so Rin isn’t all that worried about it. 

It occurs to Rin for the first time that this summer will be the last of his highschool days. He’s never been sentimental about stuff like that - so he figures you’re to blame for these sudden thoughts. 

Your summer has been a lot busier than his. He should probably expect this from you by now, but your surprisingly youthful social life always shocks him. You’ve been working part-time as usual. In that time though, you’ve also been to the beach and been on an overnight trip to Osaka with your newspaper club. 

(Rin wasn’t happy to hear about this. He was relieved to know it was with a teacher and that you roomed with a girl. But still, not exactly his favorite of anecdotes for the summer.) 

You’ve invited Rin more than once to come hang out with you, but he’s basically always declined. The group setting is troublesome, but being alone with you feels even worse somehow. It wouldn’t be a date, obviously, but it would be something. Something deliberate. 

Rin doesn’t know if he can come see you in good faith for such a reason. 

It’s another day spent doing his usual. Being technical, it’s a rest day, which means he’s only allowed to stretch. He has done his basics. Studied, messed around with his ball, responded to a barrage of texts from Bachira and Isagi. He played games for a while, checking out a new horror game before deciding it’d be best not to get too sucked in so he has something to play next time. 

After all that, during a mid-August day while Rin sits on his couch and watches T.V., he receives a facetime call from you for the very first time. At first, he just lets it ring. But when it keeps ringing - he figures your persistence is going to continue unless he replies. 

He looks around. No one's home, so he doesn’t need to go to his room. He swipes, and the call connects. The screen shows him, propped up against something with a full shot of your room. You’re turned away from the camera. Rin just stares. 

“Oh, shit - did you actually pick up?” 

“Should I hang up.” 

“No! No, I just wasn’t expecting you. Don’t hang up. I need a guy's opinion.” 

“What? What for?” 

“I got in a fight with my brother about a dress I bought,” You say, exasperated, and Rin is surprised because you hardly see him. “I know he’s probably looking out for me but I don’t think we talk enough for him to be telling me how to dress.” 

“He’s older than you, right? Maybe you should listen to him.” 

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from. Either way, I’m not a kid. I’m already 18 and I’m going to college. It’s a cute dress! I feel like it’s fine.”

“So..why’d you call me again?” 

“I’m gonna try it on and show you. Murata-senpai is busy.” 

“You shouldn’t do that to a guy who likes you.” Rin deadpans. You laugh.

“Shut up. I really need an opinion. I wanted to wear it to go out today so if it’s actually too provocative then I have to change my outfit.” 

“Where are you even going?” 

“My friend needs to get a concealer, so probably the mall or something. After that I’ll go buy some stationary.” 

“Alone? What about your friend?” 

“She’s gonna go see her boyfriend.” 

“Why can’t you just go with them? Or ask them to go with you” 

“And third wheel? I’m good. I just need some stationary and then I’ll be home. Easy peasy. Anyway, what’s with the interrogation?” 

“It’s not interrogation.” He insists. You’re offscreen so Rin can’t see you, but he can hear the sound of a zipper echo in the speakers. He’s also sure you’re rolling your eyes. 

When you come on camera, the dress of the hour is on display. Rin’s first thought is to tell you to take it off. It is too provocative to him. The front is fine as is, but it’s nearly backless and it’s cut too high on your thighs. He’s never seen so much of your skin. Maybe that’s a given, since he didn’t go to the beach with you either. 

You give him a quick spin, before patting the front down. You say something, but the words don’t register. It feels like his brain is full of cotton or something. 

“So? Too much? I mean it’s backless but like. I don’t know, it’s kind of loose? And the sleeves are long. Neckline isn’t that bad, either.” 

Rin just says what he thinks “You shouldn’t go out alone wearing it.” 

You frown at him. 

“That’s not helpful, Rin-kun.” 

“It’s…fine. What time does your friend have to go?” 

“Probably right after we’re done.” 

He sighs. 

“Tell her to go with her boyfriend early. I’ll come with you to get your stationary.” 

“Wait, what? Did I hear that right? You’re coming to get me? After I’ve been hounding you to hang out? What’s with the change of heart?” 

“I don’t have anything to do since it’s a rest day. You need stuff and I don’t think you should be out alone. Don’t read into it.” 

“Kinda hard not too but I’m not gonna complain. Are you coming right now?” 

“Yeah. Send me your address.” 

__ 

Rin has no idea what impulse has brought him here. 

That’s not entirely true. What brought him to your apartment towards the end of summer is impulse. He acted on nothing but impulse.

Rin, for better or for worse, finds that you’re clueless about yourself. The fact you were going to call Murata-senpai is already bothering him enough. That, along with the fact you wore the dress and didn’t think it was too short is troubling. It’s not that Rin wants to tell you what not to wear. He doesn’t have the right but you did ask. 

Anyway, it’s a lot less agitating if you’re being accompanied while wearing it. Going alone in something like that, even if it’s the middle of summer, would be stupid.  

Rin doesn’t make it a habit of worrying about the outfits of girls he doesn’t know. He does know you though. He thinks you’d be really annoying if something happened and you got upset about it. So, all he’s doing is preventing that outcome. It’s nothing more than that. 

He knocks on your door as he shakes the thoughts out of his head, and he’s greeted by a man in his late twenties. It dawns on Rin that this is your brother. He really didn’t think this through. 

Your brother is an imposing person. He’s a head taller than Rin with a gruff voice and a scar on his cheek. Rin stares at him blankly. 

“Who are you?” 

“Itoshi Rin. I’m here for—” 

“Nii-san, tell Rin-kun to come inside and sit! I’m not done getting ready.” 

Your brother glares at him. 

“Who’s he? Your boyfriend? Is that why—” 

You come stumbling out of your room, half-dressed and Rin immediately averts his eyes. This is the most uncomfortable experience of his life.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He already rejected me, so we’re just friends. Stop fussing and let him in, it’s hot out.” 

“He rejected you?” 

Rin should just leave. 

“I already knew he was going to. Now move,” 

Rin doesn’t enjoy being involved in your sibling quarrel. Suddenly, he feels a twinge of regret about some old Bluelock memories. He understands it now more than ever, gaining a little empathy. 

Your brother moves out of the way. You’re standing in the hall, with a single stocking on and powder on your face he’s pretty sure is meant to be brushed. You grin at him. 

“Sorry! I won’t be long, promise. You got here faster than I thought you would.” 

Rin can feel a pair of eyes in the back of his skull. 

“Uh. Yeah. I took the bus so it was quick.” 

“It might be uncomfortable here. Do you wanna sit in my room instead? It’s colder but it’s kind of a mess—” 

“He can sit here.”  Your brother insists. Rin is never leaving his house again. You frown. 

“Didn’t I already tell you we’re not dating? He’s not even interested in me, it’s not like anything is gonna happen.” 

“It’s the principle of it.”  Yeah. Definitely siblings. 

“Whatever. If you make him uncomfortable, I’m gonna yell at you. Rin-kun, sorry. Do you need anything? Juice? Water?” 

Your hospitality throws him off. You’re different at home. 

“Uh. No. I’m okay.” 

“Okay, then I’ll hurry and get dressed. Nii-san, please be civil.” 

With that, you flounce back up to your room. Your brother is staring hard in Rin’s direction. He’s not intimidated. It’s just… so awkward it’s kind of unbearable for him. What do people usually do in this situation? Rin’s not exactly the sociable type.

“She confessed to you?” 

Rin is startled. 

“Uh. Yeah. In April.” 

“And you’re friends?” 

“She asked to be friends.” 

Your brother looks distressed. 

“I don’t understand that girl at all.” 

Rin doesn't either. 

“What’s she like in school?” 

Rin stares. Oh. He’s that kind of older brother. 

“Uh. Busy. She’s in the newspaper club so she’s always doing something. She has a lot of friends and gets along with our class.” 

“I see…that’s good. I’m always worried about her. Our family has  always been busy and I moved out when I was 18 so… we don’t see much of each other. She doesn’t talk about herself that much either.” 

Rin nods absently. What circle of hell is this? 

“She probably thinks I’m just being overprotective,” Bullseye “But I just worry she grew up too fast.” 

Rin thinks if he were a different kind of guy, now would be the time he gives your older brother an encouraging heart to heart. The script is there. It’s just not how he honestly feels. Rin doesn’t take pleasure in defending you. But it’s hypocritical and a little ridiculous to hear it from him.

Some of it is leftover resentment from Sae. The rest is knowing you.

You did grow up too fast. From what he knows about teenage girls, they’re supposed to be…meaner. More hysterical. More inconsiderate. Less responsible and more in the moment. Messy. All teenagers are, really. 

For all the ways you are clumsy and ridiculous, sometimes Rin thinks you’re too off-puttingly mature. It wouldn’t kill you to be more selfish. To be just a little less self-reliant. It’s not normal is it? To be so grateful for things you’re owed. It bothers him. Always has. 

Rin knows what the script is. But it bothers him. 

“If you know that then you don’t really have any right to intervene,” Rin says bluntly. “Suddenly acting protective and considerate when she grew up on her own  is just going to feel stifling. Aren’t you just trying to make yourself feel better?” 

He looks surprised by his answer. Hurt too. 

“I guess that’s right,” 

He frowns. 

“If you actually care, just be honest. She’s not the type of person to turn someone away on a grudge.” 

Before Rin can feel embarrassed about what he’s said, you come stumbling down the steps all dressed up. Your brother gives you a look. 

“Do you need any money?” 

You look at him confused then shake your head no. 

“Okay. Stay safe and have fun.” 

He turns to leave. You watch him go. Rin puts his hands in his pockets like he’s trying to wipe himself of it. 

“Weird… anyways. Ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” 

__ 

Your outing goes well. 

Outing. Not a date. No matter how many times people mistake you two for being on a date today - it was nothing more than an outing. 

You start with stationary for the upcoming term, then you drag Rin to the mall because you need some more clothes. After that, you go into a bookstore to pick up some manga. Rin has fun there because he gets to pick out some new releases and you bond mutually over your tastes. Rin learns both like thrillers. You spend a lot of time together, reading over his shoulder. 

It’s not a date. But it wasn’t bad. He’s so used to talking to you that the entire situation doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. You’re funnier than he’s usually willing to give you credit for. Doing all that, plus train rides, makes it so you’re not home until sundown. You, however, refuse to end the night without having some kind of treat. After a lot of begging Rin to cheat on his meal plan, the two of you get ice-cream and you drag Rin to a local playground. Apparently you bring your neighbors' kids here sometimes. 

Now he’s here.  Sitting on swings with ice-cream and it is still not a date. Rin has no opinions on the day but you’re practically bursting at the seams with happiness. The dress you’re wearing is hiking up on your thigh from how you’re sitting. He was right to accompany you, by the way. The amount of creeps he’s had to stare down today alone is outright disgusting. 

Rin takes a spoonful of ice-cream and lets it melt in his mouth. You let your feet hit the mulch beneath you as you lick the ice-cream carefully - trying desperately not to let it spill on your hand. He watches on in amusement. After you finally get a handle on it, you give him a small look. 

“I had fun today,” You say sentimentally. Rin feels his stomach tie in knots “Thank you.”

He frowns. 

“Gross. Stop that.” 

“Aw, c’mon. You’re so edgy. Just admit you had fun! You had a fantastic and whimsical time.” 

He gives you an unimpressed stare. 

“Really? Nothing? You’re not feeling the flames of youthful joy in your loins at all?” 

“Describing it like that is disgusting.” 

“So you admit you know what it is.” 

Rin wants to smile. Fuck, he hates you. 

“...It wasn’t bad.” 

You grin. You’re so annoying.

“Ladies and gents, we got an ‘it wasn’t bad’ from the ever soulless Itoshi Rin!” 

Stupid. So stupid.

“It was more tolerable than hanging out with some of my other dipshit friends.” 

You clasp a hand over your mouth dramatically. 

“Oh…Oh wow… Do you want to try proposing next? The set-up is there. Perfect ambience.” 

His face cracks into a begrudging smile. 

“You’re insufferable.” 

You suddenly go quiet. When Rin looks at you, you’re stunned

“Why’re you being weird?” 

“No, sorry, I was just thinking I really like you,” You say, like it’s the easiest and most natural thing in the world “I’ve never seen you smile before. It’s nice.” 

“...Your ability to say cringy shit like that so easily is astounding to me.” 

“I don’t want to hear this from the guy who unironically uses lukewarm,” You say, biting into your ice-cream cone. Rin blushes. “Besides, nothing wrong with being cringe when you’re in love.” 

“Freak.” 

You give him a thumbs up. 

“One of a kind.” 

There’s a beat of silence. It’s comfortable. Rin eats his too, probably a little slower than he has to. Summer feels heavy in the air. 

“You weren’t always like..an edgelord, right?” 

Rin stares at you, perplexed by how sudden the question is. 

“Where’d you hear that from?” 

“Your mom after dinner. You already went upstairs. Said you had a nasty fight with your brother.” 

He doesn’t say anything, posture stiffening at the mention of Sae. 

“It’s not your business.” 

“Hey. No need for the attitude. I’m curious as your number one fan.” You say, trying to back off as much as possible. Like he’s some kind of feral cat you’re trying to calm. “Don’t be mad, okay? You don’t have to talk about it.” 

You try your best to be soothing and Rin softens 

He is angry. Not at you. Not really.  The mention of Sae just does that to him. And if anyone else even thought to bring it up - he’d probably tell them to go fuck themselves with nothing but bitter hatred. 

With you, there’s not any of that. There’s a lingering sense of hesitance - an internal conflict, but not anger. Rin’s never enjoyed opening his heart to anyone. 

Even so, he feels compelled to tell you, so he does.

“My brothers a dick,” Resentment seeps into his words “He came back from overseas and then basically insulted me for a minute straight. We were always meant to play soccer together but he went through something. He changed. We never talked about it,” 

“What? He insulted you for no reason? That’s so weird. Did you always have a bad relationship?” 

Rin sits with himself quietly. 

“I don’t know if we have one now. We were close as kids. At least.” 

“And he just… came back and started being an asshole to you? Seriously?” 

Rin nods. There’s not much else to the story. Rin’s tried hard not to think about the situation itself. He only uses the feelings that stayed behind to make him better. To give him a reason to play - it’s motivation and nothing more. If he starts to view it too much like what it is, betrayal, he’s afraid everything inside of him will collapse. 

“There’s probably more to it than that,” You conclude thoughtfully. Rin thinks the same “But still. You’re his baby brother. Even if he’s going through something…” 

Rin scoffs “You sound like you’re worried about him.” It comes out more petulantly than he expects 

“Not really. Not as much as I’m worried about you,” You counter, giving him a small smile. Rin feels his heart leap into his throat “I just figure, you know, maybe thinking about it like that would help. You were close right? Your mom said he used to dote on you,” 

Rin nods. He feels his chest swell and tighten. 

“Then…I bet it sucked. I bet it was hard. Or at least, it must’ve been lonely to go through that,” You say, frown deepening “Such a sudden change would be hard for anyone to deal with, I think. It’s okay if you feel like it’s unfair. His reasons aside.” 

You sigh, suddenly, covering your hands with your face. 

“What?” Rin asks. You shake your head. 

“You poor thing. I wanna hug you to death you know. A good squeeze. I’m trying to refrain.” You say, stomping your feet just slightly. He feels a flush crawl up his neck, turning his head to look away. 

“...It’s not like I’m stopping you.” 

He doesn’t have the courage to look at you. Not as he says it, or after to steal a glance of what face you're making. Instead, he hears the metal of the chain and feels the warmth of your body. It’s a tight hug. You’re standing and he’s sitting, your arms around his neck, his face directly against your chest. He widens his eyes. He wants to yell at you for being a defenseless idiot, but the feeling of being hugged so tightly washes the words away. You’re soft…and warm. He’s never been hugged by someone who isn’t his mom or brother before, and he can’t remember the last time either thing happened to him. You pat his head. 

Do you touch people like this often? So casually? Or is he special because you like him, he wants to ask. He wants to ask but doesn’t want to know the answer, pushing the feeling down as deep as he can make it go. He wraps his arms around you loosely, above your waist trying to be respectful.  

But he leans into the warmth. Like it’s something that happens once in a lifetime. 

“Hey, Rin.”  You say, soft. He can feel the warmth of your breath against his hair. 

“Hn.” 

“I hope you kick your brother's ass in soccer.” 

You sound teary. Weirdly, it makes Rin feel better. 

“Yeah.”

__ 

School starts up again during September. 

The autumn season welcomes warm colors, fallen leaves and the sort of cool weather that puts the summer uniforms back up on the hangers. Rin is listening to music when he spots you waiting for him at the gate, waving your hand at him. He has half a mind to ignore you, you’re so embarrassing. 

But before he can pretend not to see, you’re jogging over to him. He has to stand so you don’t end up bumping into him. You walk like you were born backwards, two left feet with such little awareness of your surroundings it stresses Rin out. 

He gives you a blank stare as you smile, securing your bag to your shoulder. 

“Look what the cat dragged in,” You say warmly. Rin pauses to look at you. You look different somehow. Lately you always do, Rin wonders if you’ve picked up some weird shape-shifting in your time apart “Are you excited for the new semester, hm? Hmm?” 

He keeps walking and you fall in step with him. You try but he’s too fast, so he slows just a little. He clicks his teeth, shaking his head, eyes taking in the view of the building in front him.

“Why would I be excited?” 

You shrug. 

“Because winter break  is close? Because there’s fun leaves outside? Because it’s your birthday in 6 days?”

He stops dead in his tracks. 

“What the hell? Why do you know that?” 

“Your mom told me.” You say, skipping along happily to school like you didn’t just say something insane. His frown deepens. 

“You have my moms number? You talk to my mom?” 

“She loves me,” You say casually, turning only to look at him and stick your tongue out “And she’s nice. Get over it.” 

With this, you rush into the building faster, giggling as you leave. Rin, frustrated, stomps after you. 

__

Your time together at lunch continues into fall. It’s the third day of the term, September 6th and you’re sitting by his side. The two of you eat in casual silence now, falling into a regular routine. There’s something about the whole ordeal that makes Rin feel a little funny. 

Friendship, as it stands, is still a lukewarm idea to him. But sprawled out next to you in a comfortable quiet isn’t the worst thing. The weather is cool enough to be nice and the daylight lasts for just the right amount of time to see sunset when he treks back home from practicing shooting into the net. 

That kind of sentimental viewing of his surroundings is a bad habit he’s picked up from you. He can’t seem to shake it off. He’s tried at least, but Rin has been stopping to look at everything nowadays. The sun, the trees, the cars passing. Everything passes right by his life, slowly. 

Eventually, eventually this whole thing will cease. You’ll never see Rin again and he’ll never see you - and you’ll part your separate ways. Thinking about that feels so stifling. But he figures since that’s the case, there’s probably not any harm in letting the time pass like this. As long as he’s still improving. 

Your voice doesn’t catch him off-guard anymore, no matter how loud it is after a long bout of silence. You stuff something into your mouth, a tomato he thinks. 

“Rin-kun,” You start, tilting your head to one-side “Are you doing anything for your birthday?” 

“No.” He answers immediately because he never does. He hasn’t done much since Sae left home and now that he’s a third year and about to be 18, there’s even less of a desire to pull together a party and celebrate. 

“What? Boo. That’s so lame.” 

“Don’t be so childish.” 

“I’m older than you, you dummy,” You say with such automation that Rin doesn’t even get the chance to process “You’re not even gonna have cake? Nothing?” 

“My mom might but I don’t have any plans.” 

“Your mom is so nice.” 

“Stop.” 

You frown at him but don’t say any more.  You look like you have something on your mind. Probably something stupid, but Rin can’t help but wonder what’s making your brow crease so intensely. 

“What?” He snips. You flick your eyes to him and shake your head. 

“I just think it’s a waste,” You say simply, that tone of fondness seeping into it that Rin can’t get used to. “It’s such a big number, you know? A little cake and some show tunes or something would suffice.” 

Rin scoffs. 

“I don’t care about it. It’s pointless to me. Lukewarm” He says, before noticing your genuine sadness. He sighs a little to himself “Stop looking like a depressed mutt.” 

“I’m not a dog.” 

“I guess dogs are more well-trained.’ 

“Hey. Hey, what the hell do you mean by that?” 

He ignores you. 

“Anyway, stop worrying about it.”

You pout. 

“Easier said than done.”. 

__ 

Rin’s morning routine has been the exact same for two years. 

He starts by opening the window, to let fresh air and sunlight come in through the glass. He feels like his room gets stale overnight and it wakes him up to taste the sun in the back of his mouth. He takes a deep breath of it, clearing out his lungs and blinking his eyes open. 

After that he stretches. He unfurls a Bluelock brand yoga mat onto his carpeted floor and gets to his usual cycle. It’s integral for an athlete to keep their muscles stretched, functioning like a well-oiled machine. He has it down pat. He starts from the bottom up, stretching his legs and working up to his arms and shoulders. His legs always come first since he’s a striker, always focusing on the mobility of his calves and foot before he stretches out his thigh.

His core, then his chest and arms. When he’s done with all that - he practices yoga for fifteen minutes. Again with mobility but this time full body, like making sure each of his limbs work with each other without any stops. He’ll sit back down after those minutes are up to meditate for another fifteen - clear his mind of absolutely anything stuck in it. It’s the most peace he gets on any given day. 

At the end, he sits with his feelings. Carefully, he undoes the wrapped clothed box around his heart and stares at it as it sits in his lap. Beating and raw and melancholy blue  - so full of sadness and anger like it could burst at any minute. Revisiting his sadness and rage is a necessity. Sometimes it feels like only sadness. Only monochrome. 

(He wonders if a day will come where that part of his routine is changed. If ever, he’ll unwrap his own heart only to see it pink or golden yellow or even a softer shade of red. He wonders if the colors ever change, or if time will fade them.) 

All of this happens before he even brushes his teeth. The rest of his morning routine is keeping his room neat. He folds the comforter on his bed, puts any dirty clothes away, and gets dressed. He doesn’t really style his hair - it’s so pin straight after washing he normally just has to brush it to keep it nice. 

After that he has breakfast, and checks through his bag. On days he has school he goes to school and comes back to practice. If he’s home alone - he picks one of many other things to do. He tends to practice closer to evening, taking a shower before he goes to sleep. 

On the morning of Rin’s 18th birthday, he’s only really acutely aware of the date. His morning starts the exact same as it has everyday for nearly two years. Nothing to make him feel particularly different. When he looks in the mirror, he still sees his brother's face and when he looks at his heart it’s still a steely, melancholy blue. 

When he comes down stairs, though - there’s a pair of shoes he doesn’t recognize. And there’s a humming traveling down the hall and always the way up towards him that he knows quite well. 

He thinks, for a minute, he might still be dreaming. Why you would be in his house on a Saturday morning makes absolutely no sense otherwise. 

He slips his feet into his gray slippers and treks into the living room, only to find you in view of the open kitchen. There’s a balloon attached to flowers and a spread of fruits on the table. Orange juice in a cold glass. You with his moms borrowed apron, humming contentedly as you bend over the stove. 

Rin doesn’t know what the feeling is. He doesn’t know if he’s irritated or not. Just that it’s so overwhelming to see you in his kitchen, marching to the beat of your own drum like you always do. 

“What the hell are you doing in my house?” 

You startle when you hear his voice, whipping around to face him. Dramatically putting a hand on your chest - you shoot him an unfriendly glare. 

“Well hello to you too.” 

“Answer my question.” He demands. You click your teeth. 

“Well, obviously I’m making breakfast. We’re celebrating your birthday.” 

“Without telling me.” 

You snap your fingers before giving him finger guns “Precisely. Genius deduction, Itoshi-sama.” 

“What the fuck. Where are my parents.” 

“They’re out on a day-trip! It’s a Saturday. They’ll be back here on Sunday afternoon. Read the note.” 

“What were you gonna do if I had last minute plans?” 

“You don’t though?” You say like knowing that is so obvious. He knows you asked but still “I guess I’d turn around and make my own breakfast. Give you your gift at school or something.” 

“Why are you here?” He asks a little softer this time. With a little more emotion, just a touch. He never expects anyone to make a fuss about his birthday. 

Rin doesn’t really ask for much. Certainly wouldn’t ask for this on his own accord. That’s a vain thing to do, right? 

It occurs to Rin that this is the kind of birthday you do for someone you like. Someone you love. You’re always confessing your feelings to him. You only say it when you’re sure. It wasn’t like Rin didn’t know you had feelings for him, because the point of it all had been for you to try and get rid of them. Or honor them, or deal with them in whatever way you saw fit. Rin had agreed on a whim to help you with that. Your friendship had started with the very notion that you liked Itoshi Rin and he didn’t like you back. It’s not some secret. 

When the light pours in through the windows and hits your back and for the first time - Rin understands what the fuss is about being in love is. He’s sure that this strange, grotesque warmth is the aftermath of being liked. He always thought it’d feel more simple. That he’d remain unmoved in the face of it because he was different.

It’s not like he’s unloved. He’s sure his parents love him. His brother did too. Still does, Rin thinks. 

But it’s the first time someone has made their feelings so clear to him. Someone who isn’t supposed to love or like him. And even Rin, chronically apathetic, can’t bring himself to ignore the weight of knowing that. He stares at you, dumbstruck. 

You’re still turned to him. There’s a cool tumbler of iced-coffee sitting on the counter that you sip, head tilted to one side. 

“Well, I don’t know,” You start, a hand on your hip “It just felt like too much of a waste to do nothing on your birthday. But you’re not the kind of guy who likes big celebrations. So I thought maybe just hanging out would be more your speed.”

Rin swallows. “Seriously?” 

“Seriously.”

“Bold thing to assume.” 

You frown back. 

“Well, I was gonna invite Isagi-kun—“

“Isagi? How do you know Isagi?”

“He saw me leaving your house ‘cause he was gonna visit.  After we talked he followed me on Instagram. Anyway, I was gonna invite him and Bachira and all four of us could go to a movie,” You explain as you sigh and go back to the stove “But he said you’d probably just want to hang out with me.” 

“…And he didn’t say anything else?”

“Well he asked if we were dating so I just told him the truth. Really nice guy, by the way.” 

Rin’s going to hound Isagi next time they practice together. 

“So. Now you’re here… doing what exactly?”

“Making you breakfast. I’ll make you ochazuke for lunch later. Haven’t decided on dinner, I thought I’d ask when you woke up. Your mom said you liked traditional breakfast but I didn’t think I’d be done by the time you woke up so there’s fruit.” 

Sure enough, when Rin walks over to the other side of the table - there’s a half done spread of breakfast on the table. All the dining ware is set up neatly, the table arranged so well he feels guilty for not helping. 

“You didn’t have to do all this for me.” Rin tsks, a frown on his expression as he stands next to you. He watches you pour egg into a square pan, slowly evening out the layers. 

“I wanted to,” You reply, not thinking twice about it. “I enjoy cooking for people. It’s fun. I normally just do it to feed myself, so it’s nice to share.” 

He closes his eyes. 

“Thanks.” 

He’s afraid to look over at you, the excitement radiating off of you. It makes him uncomfortable that something so simple could make you so happy. 

“Can you repeat that?” 

“Don’t start.” 

“Rin-chan,” You coo, immediately making him so embarrassed he wants to hit you “You’re so docile today.” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” He says, hitting your shoulder as light as he can. 

“Woah…how romantic. Dying on the day you were born? Jeez. I’m swooning.” 

He looks at you blankly. 

“Stop being gross. Where did you even get that from?” 

“Too many things to count,” You say with a snap. He shakes his head. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” 

“How diligent. It’s fine! It’s your birthday, right? Sit. Eat some fruit. Pick out what you wanna do. I rented some games and there’s some movies I had in mind too. Make your agenda. “

Rin laughs to himself, lightly. 

“Isn’t that supposed to be your job?” 

“Don’t be stingy! I���m already making breakfast.”

Rin rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. Whatever.” 

__

You end up back in Rin’s room. 

After a healthy discussion about what he would like to do - Rin landed on wanting to do both. He picked out a copy of Resident Evil  to play until after lunch and then decided to binge a bunch of movies after. 

You even agree to accompany him while he practices. There’s 24 hours in a day and the plans are nothing more than vague suggestions - but deep down, it makes Rin kind of…well whatever. It’s not a bad plan. 

Currently, you’re sitting at the foot of Rin’s bed with your hands tight around the controller of his PS4. Rin feels a little bad for you. While you do okay with horror movies, the immersion of horror games seems to frighten you enough that your eyes are glued onto the screen. As such, Rin is trying his best not to startle you as you lean forward every so slightly. The leg of your pants is pushed up just barely. You’re dressed cozy, so it’s funny seeing your head shrink into your hoodie. 

“Why the fuck would you set it hardcore if this BOTH of our first times playing,” You whine, turning yourself into the next room carefully on screen “I’m scared.” 

“You’re such a wuss,” He scoffs, leaning back from where he’s sitting next to you on his bed. “We’re never gonna make any progress like this.” 

You stomp your feet and Rin resists the urge to laugh. 

“Shut up, it’s scary.” 

He nudges your shoulder with his knee. 

“Stop complaining. You got to pick the character and I got to pick the difficulty.” 

“I deserve to lust after Leon after the shit I’m getting put through,”

Rin scoffs at your declaration. The irritation is softened when you walk into the backroom faced with a zombie - a short scream leaving your lips as you mash buttons and use your gun to kill it quickly. You manage to dodge as much damage as you can, obviously trying not to waste limited resources. Even so it takes damn near 7 bullets. Despite your cowardice, you’re pretty good at the game. 

You loot the room for any possible supplies then leave. You turn the corner of the isle, a zombie filled gas station awaiting you. You manage to save bullets and stun the one closest to you before getting your shit completely rocked - quick to duck out. The first cut scene of the game comes next where you meet the other main character Claire. You gasp like you’ve been running, shoving the controller towards Rin. 

“Your turn. Move, I wanna sit on your bed.” 

“Why?” 

“Cause it’s a weekend and I have a right to be lazy. Shoo. On the floor.” 

“You’re getting way too comfortable in my house on my birthday.” 

Rin, does, go sit on the floor where you were. Mostly because it’s a better position to play the game in. At least it has minimal back support. The cut scene plays in the background, nothing difficult as the main characters go to the next area - the police station and the technical start of the game. Rin hasn’t played the remake, but he did longingly watch some playthroughs while he was in Bluelock during its release. 

He had never mentioned it to you, so he was shocked you knew enough about it to bring it over. He likes survival horror and he was always wanting to play it. 

“Me and your mom are best friends so I practically live here anyways. Also shut-up and look.” 

He does shut up, too invested in the story to be annoyed.  The main characters get separated and Leon ends up in the streets. 

For whatever reason, he’s conscious about proximity. Your knee next to his shoulder. You’re close enough to touch him casually and he’s wondering…hoping to know if you’re naive enough to do it without thinking. It feels like a stroke of luck, or maybe a form of mind-reading when you reach for his hair with your fingers. He wonders if you’re doing it on purpose. He thinks he should tell you to stop. 

But when you ask “Is this okay?” 

He can’t find the strength in himself to do it. He focuses on the scene in front of him, weaving through the cars to shake off a horde of zombies. Rin grabs the controls, immediately turning around to try and stun a group of zombies before turning into the gate so he can head to the station.

His heart is racing and his eyes almost feel cross from how much he’s focusing but it’s not exactly the game. The game isn’t even that scary, as much as it’s gory he thinks. 

“I don’t care but,” He says through a breath, trying to sound like he means it and that he’s not so conscious of the way your pinky lingers on his nape “when’d you get so touchy?” 

“I like touching you.” You reply, twirling a strand of hair around your fingers “Your hair is so silky and nice. I felt when I gave you a hug that one time and I kept thinking about it.” 

Rin wants to say “Do you think about me that much?” but the words don’t come out how he wants. 

“Do you touch everyone like this?” 

You’re silent for a minute. It takes patience, effort - not to turn his head to see the look on your face. Though he probably knows it. He thinks he just wants affirmation from you. 

“...No. Not really. I just like you.” 

There’s a beat of silence - a pause designated for his rejection, the promise he made to you so many months ago. He knows what the script is. And he’s said it many times before. Not in a million years, right? 

But he can’t bring himself to say it this time, so he doesn’t.

“Yeah. I know.” 

___

Before Rin knows it, the day is coming to a close. 

The entirety of it you spend together, with you faithfully stuck to him and without Rin feeling entirely suffocated. He isn’t sure why it’s so easy with you. Normally this much socialization would render him exhausted. Irritable at best and angry at worst. But he’s not. In fact even after his entire workout routine, he felt fine listening to you ramble. He didn’t need complete silence, but even when there were lulls and dips - it didn’t feel uncomfortable. 

You didn’t get far in Resident Evil 2. Rin decides to cut it short since it’d definitely take a lot longer than all the time you had and there were movies he wanted to watch. When you whine about not being able to finish - he quietly told  you to just come over next time and play it with him then. 

He waited a year, so he can wait a little longer. Your face lit up idiotically, giddy with delight at the promise of next time. As promised, ochazuke was for lunch and after 30 minutes of digestion - he put it out of his mind as he did his daily drills. You joined him, insisting that you’d be fine doing nothing. Sat on the field with a book the entire time even though it was cold, tossing him his things whenever he took a break - smiling each time he talked to you. 

(“You know you don’t actually need to stay with me the entire day.” He reminds you of this as he brings a bottle of water to lips, sweat dripping down the side of his head even in the cool weather. You turn your head up at him. 

“When else am I gonna get to stick by your side all day? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” 

“You’re so good at being annoying it’s impressive,” He says, dropping his water bottle back down “Aren’t you bored?” 

“Huh? No way. I have my fun book to keep me company and on top of that I get to see you play in the flesh.” 

Oh, yeah. You mentioned watching him when he was in Bluelock. “Well, it’s not like a match. But I’m not gonna keep asking, so whatever.” 

“Yes, yes - I understand. Now go, shoo.”)

Even though Rin practiced for his usually long amount of hours, you sat with him diligently - even stopping to cheer him on when you needed a break from reading or studying or whatever else you were doing. 

Upon returning, he went to shower and you went to warm up in  the kitchen. After he was redressed and clean, he joined you downstairs to order take-out and have dinner. 

Finally, it’s after dinner and you’ve banished Rin to his room while you set something up downstairs. He’s mostly scrolling twitter, watching soccer highlights from the accounts he follows. He’s just about comfortable when you finally call him back down, which irritates him enough to click his teeth but not enough to bring it up to you. 

After a long day, when Rin finally comes back down stairs, walking down into the hall and back into the living room - he can’t help but be surprised at the change in scenery. All the lights have been turned low, and everything looks different. You’ve taken to decorating a wall of his living room after some rearranging. A white sheet hanging up with something, and a plethora of fairy lights in stripes going down it in a nice pattern. 

There’s a banner and it looks hand-made. It spells out happy birthday, rin in neat, thick blue letters on cut-out white shapes, attached along the back wall. On the table in front, there’s some decoration along with nice paper plates and plastic cutlery and a cake in the middle that’s nicer than he’s expecting. 

You beam at him as he walks in. And you’re stupid enough to be wearing a birthday hat, giving him jazz hands as he enters. 

“Happy birthday!” 

On paper, Rin thinks it’s been something of a boring birthday. He did what he normally would do on a day off but you cooked for him twice. He spent most of it with you, even though it was a lot of nothing. A lot of being together like you were roommates or something. Maybe that's why he’s so reluctant to admit that this is making him feel something. 

That the silly theatrics feel meaningful. It is thoughtful, isn’t it? Rin doesn’t think anyone in his entire life has done anything this thoughtful for him. Birthdays are birthdays, and they’ve never really been especially meaningful. He didn’t see the point in just celebrating the day of someone's birth. Certainly, he doesn’t think he’d have it in himself to do something like this for another person. 

Rin stares at you. Wearing a stupid birthday hat and the most gleeful, idiotic smile he’s ever seen. All of this for a guy who’s rejected you, but you seem to cherish so much anyways. Apathetic and ungraceful as he is and always will be - he’s so overwhelmed he doesn’t know what to do. What a strange, unrecognizable feeling welling up inside of him. And not even one feeling, but so many so tangled with each other - he can’t see anything straight. His eyes aren’t drawn to the candlelight, or the moon, or the cake. 

It’s like a sense of tunnel vision. Where all Rin can really look at is you. It’s happened before. How can anyone be like this, he wonders. Are there people born into the world so unselfishly? And if they are, why would he ever cross paths with them? How could someone so easy to love have any business loving him, in the first place? 

Rin won’t ever understand you. He accepts that. He’ll never be able to understand this kind of person. Someone who shines even brighter than the sun. 

But he’s not so stupid to not understand himself. He’s unable to say the words he’d promised to you all the way in April. Rin doesn’t like to lie. 

He would be lying, that is, if you told him just one more time that you liked him.  He’d be lying if it told you it’ll never happen. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t like you. And it’s not just because you like him, because that never mattered to him in the first place. 

Some people are made to be adored. Born special and bright like everything should revolve around them. Perhaps that kind of thing is only afforded to people without ego. With heart and character and charisma. 

It doesn’t matter. What a stupid thing to realize on his birthday of all days.

“Rin-kun?” 

He blinks. 

“Where’d you hide all of this?” 

You laugh at him, bubbly and delighted.

“I brought it in a tote and kept it in the kitchen. Mostly stuff from my house, and your mom helped with the cake and stuff. It’s nice right? I did a good job, no?” 

Ah. He’s fucked. 

“It looks okay.” 

You frown, huffing and puffing “Just okay? C’mon, don’t be stingy.” 

“Doesn’t begging for compliments defeat the purpose of them.” 

“Not to me,” 

Your frown deepens and Rin is starting to feel the rose colored glasses set in. 

“It’s nice. It’s good.” 

“So you like it? You’re happy? Delighted, even? Absolutely overjoyed by-” 

“Cut it out or I’m going to send you home.” 

“No,” You whine, tugging on his sleeves like you’re worried he really will “I want cake.” 

“Then let’s cut the cake?”

“We can’t,” You put your arms up in a cross and Rin gives you a look of confusion. “I promised I’d get a good picture of you.” 

“What? Promised who?” 

“Your parents, mostly. But also, you should post on your Instagram a little more, no? You’re basically a famous player already, you should have the courtesy to feed your fans.” 

Before he can do anything to protest, you usher Rin to sit on the other side of the table before you back with his phone. He stares at you but you only look at him expectantly. Still, he unlocks it and hands it to you. He gives you an irritated sigh (though he isn’t really irritated). 

“This is stupid.” 

“It’s a good thing to capture memories, you dummy. Now smile,” You say, holding up the camera after some angling “Or don’t. The people do love a good scowl.” 

That makes him want to smile. He’s awkward in the photos but he does stay still for them, trying his best not to look ridiculous. You take a few, then pause to come up to the table and light the candles in front of him. He hears the camera shutter one more time before you look up at him over the edge. 

“Ready to blow out your candles?” 

“I guess.” 

Before Rin can do anything about it, he listens to you sing happy birthday - poorly with too much enthusiasm. You’re tone deaf and passionate all at the same time - singing each word with a dramatic flair until you’re on the final word. You can’t clap because you’re recording but you do cheer as he burns the candles out. Once it’s over you stop recording, looking down and swiping through the pictures. 

“They turned out good. You should post them.” 

“...You’re done taking them?” 

You tilt your head to one side. 

“Yeah?” 

“We didn’t get any together.” 

Your eyes widen like he said something shocking. 

“...You wanna take them together?” 

He scoffs. 

“We spent the whole day together.” 

You flush, suddenly embarrassed and god. 

“I just wasn’t expecting you to want that. I mean we’re friends but-” 

“Shut up. And come here.” 

So you do, phone still in hand as you mess with your appearance.

“Do you want to take it or do you want me to?” 

“Oh, uh lemme just-” You go through a bunch of filters and find one before handing it to him, a nervous expression “You take it cause your arm is longer and you’re taller.” 

Rin just nods. Takes the phone from you,  and lets you pose a little before he takes the photo. He hands it back to you so you can see, and watches your eyes light up as you stare at it. Stupid. 

“It came out nice.” You say. You save it onto his phone before handing it back to him. “Send it to me later?” 

“Yeah.” 

You give him another grin and Rin takes his phone from you, going through the pictures as he opens up Instagram. He guess it wouldn’t hurt to post. You leave his side, saying something about cutting the cake. But he isn’t looking, really. 

He drafts a post as he waits for you. He likes the picture you took together best and decides to put it second. He never has any idea on how to caption these which is why he doesn’t want to post it in the first place. He glances at you, then sighs internally. 

itoshirin._ posted for the first time in a while.  posted 7 mins ago. liked by isagi_yoichi, bachiraaaaa, and others.  itoshirin._ ; 09.09.2002. thanks for everything, stupid.  isagi_yoichi commented: no way you’re getting a girlfriend before me. life is so unfair and cruel.  isagi_yoichi commented: oh happy birthday btw bachiraaaaa commented: RIN-CHAN !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ official_itoshisae: happy birthday.  itoshirinsnumberonefan: WHO IS THAT??  yo_hiori: happy birthday! 

“Rin, I cut the cake!” 

He puts his phone on DND before taking a plate of cake from your hand. 

__

The clock strikes two, and you’re still at Rin’s place. 

After a long binge of horror movies, you’re both comfortably in each other's space - only inches away, talking about nothing. The movie ended a little over half an hour ago.

He’s still doing just that, listening to you chatter away next to his ear. The room is completely dark minus the soft glow of the T.V. which gives just enough light for Rin to gaze at your face. Your eyes are wide and sparkly, still, even though it seems like the tiredness is getting to you too. 

Neither of you wants to stop talking. You’ve started discussing manga - particularly Rin's favorite manga. 

“Ciguatera was interesting,” You say, hugging one of his pillows close to your chest.  “I wasn’t sure what to expect.” 

“I’m shocked you read it. Seriously. I thought you would’ve  forgotten the minute after I told you.” 

“Well, yeah. You recommended it, so obviously I wanted to at least try,” You say with a breathless laugh, turning over to face him. You’re facing each other, he realizes a second too late “You’re such a boy, by the way. Weekly young magazine? Really.” 

“Shut up.” He says, with no real bite to his words “What were you expecting?” 

“Dunno. Didn’t think you were interested in romance of all things. Especially cause Ogino’s kind of a loser.” 

“There was other stuff in it.” He points out. You chuckle. 

“Yeah. Way raunchier and darker than I thought. But it was mostly about romance. So, I was surprised to say the last.” 

“What,” Rin starts, partially offended by the implication “Do you think I'm a soulless machine or something?” 

“Well no,” You frown, shaking your head as you stare at him “But you’ve rejected every confession you’ve ever gotten, even from some of the prettiest girls in our entire grade. So I didn’t think you had any interest in that kinda thing.”

He scoffs.”You’re stupid.” 

“You tell me all the time,” You point your fingers and place them under your chin. “Why did you reject them, by the way? Just trying to focus on soccer?” 

He feels flush, explaining. Turning his gaze to the ceiling, he sighs. 

“None of those people actually had feelings for me. It wasn’t meaningful in any way.” 

“And you want it to be meaningful?” 

“There’s no point being in a relationship with someone I don’t like and barely know. And who doesn’t really care to get to know me. I’m busy enough with soccer, and I don’t have time to entertain lukewarm relationships like that.” 

“What an unexpectedly sentimental reason. How soft of you Rin-kun.” 

“Shut up.” 

There’s a pause of thoughtful silence where you hum and lay flat on your back, reaching your hand up towards the ceilings. Rin can’t do much more than look. 

“You know. How I said I’ve been watching you since you were in Bluelock?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Y’know. I always thought you looked really sad back then. I might’ve been reading too much into it but,” You smile, corners of your lips upturned while you giggle “It’s like…weirdly relieving to see you like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“You’re like…just a boy,” You say wispy and delighted “A normal boy who reads shitty raunchy magazines and thinks about love. It’s comforting somehow. Makes me feel special. I really like you. A little more every day, it feels like.” 

Another beat of silence. He thinks you can sense the hesitance of his rejection. There’s such a tangible shift in the atmosphere. If Rin stretches his hand out to touch it, he thinks he’d push through an impossible barrier and keep falling in it forever. He thinks it would swallow him. 

He isn’t sure what it is. If it’s an act of bravery, or a sudden uptick in adrenaline, or if the exhaustion of a long day is finally starting to hit. Maybe it’s just these feelings that keep overwhelming him that make his body move. Something outside of his mind, nestled in his ribs, that has him inching closer to you. 

He flips until he’s hovering over you. Your eyes widen and you stare at him. He stares back, like he almost can’t believe himself. 

“Rin-kun?” 

And he freezes. The confidence dissipates as soon as he finds it but now he’s above you, on top of you. You’re messy and flush from the day. Your mascara is smudged and your lipgloss is gone - leaving a faint sheen on your mouth that matches your skin. Your hoodie is rumpled around the shoulders - one of the sleeves pulled to your elbows. Rin really gets a look at you. Cognizant of the fact he spent all day with you. That’s why you look worn and sleepy and so unbelievably cute. So cute it annoys him. Irritates him half to death. 

You open your mouth again, only to close it. It almost feels like he can hear your heart. Or maybe it’s his. It’s hard to know the difference. 

“Is this a n-new kind of bullying?” You joke, trying to ease the tension. He frowns at you. 

“Does it seem like I’m joking?” 

Your eyes widen and you turn away. Rin wants to make you look. 

“Well no but…” And you squirm a little “what are you doing?”

He doesn’t know, either. 

“I don’t know.” He admits, and you laugh a little breathless and the tension is so thick Rin can’t swallow around it “I want to kiss you.” He blurts out. Awkward and uncharismatic and clumsy. 

A bout of silence.

“...Am I going insane? Did you just say you want to kiss me?”

“I did.” 

More silence. 

“Why? Wouldn’t that make me your first kiss?” 

“It would.” 

“And isn’t that like… reserved for your special someone?” 

“It is.” 

“Rin-kun,” You breathe out, blinking in disbelief  “Do you even know what you’re saying?” 

“I do.”

You’re a little more serious this time. You put your hand on his shoulder. He feels like the Earth is gonna fall from under his feet. 

“Stop messing with me.” 

“I’m not.” 

You frown. 

“Do you really want to kiss me?” 

“Yeah,” He can’t think “I do.” 

You reach up for him. You’re more experienced with this kind of thing and it shows as you cup the nape of his neck. He doesn’t finch. He doesn’t look away from you either, as your thumb brushes under his eyes - the both of you so wrapped up in each other nothing matters. Rin would stay in this forever, if someone gave him the option.

“W-we have to talk about this afterwards, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“I’m serious, Itoshi Rin. Because you can’t just—” 

Your palm cups his cheek and he rubs against it instinctively. He sees your eyes widen and you swallow - a frown still etched into your features. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Your voice goes as soft as a whisper. 

“You’re so unfair.” 

He almost laughs. 

“Please kiss me.” He asks, so silently it almost goes unheard but he knows you hear it because your lips press into a thin line before you’re pulling Rin down towards you. Your lips are soft. And warm. And they taste faintly like whip-cream and the slight sour of strawberries and your hands are so gentle. Somehow he feels at ease even though he feels like he’s going to implode on himself from nerves. 

Just a little deeper before you pull away and stare at him. Rin looks back, eyes jumping from your lips up to your eyes and back down to your lips. You open your mouth to say something. Mumbling his given name only for him to cut you off with another kiss, a little deeper this time. The way it shuts you up is so cute it almost makes him angry. How it muffles your words, tapers off into a noise of surprise and ends up just back at a kiss. 

He’s never felt like this kind of thing was a viable option. Itoshi Rin is an antisocial, angry, and apathetic soccer protege and he has no time in the world for anything lukewarm. He’s rejected every confession he’s ever received in his life and always thought of relationships as something far off and disconnected to him in his entirety.

Perpetually unloveable but maybe not in such an angsty, vulnerable way. Like a law of the universe. A truth, like thinking of him, means to postulate that he is that way. A prerequisite to understanding him. 

Rin doesn’t like things that are half-ass. Perhaps, part of the reason he likes you so much is because you’ve proved him wrong in such an utterly defeating way. The fact your very existence is by and large, the antithesis of this truth. 

Itoshi Rin is not only loveable, but he is capable of loving. There is evidence of it, right underneath him now - with soft lashes and wet eyes and the brightest smile that could ever exist. 

And it’s haunting for more reasons than one. But he likes how unyielding the revelation is. You’re worried he’ll want to avoid it, and he does. But he doesn’t think he could forever, even if he tried. 

He’s confident if he made the attempt, you’d come barreling towards him once more. With all the confidence in the world. It makes him want to at least try to face it.

Which is why he’s kissing you a second, third, and fourth time. Which is why he’s looking at you in between, wide blue eyes transfixed on every part of your face. He’s trying to face what daunts him most, not like but love and the difference is more important as the days pass. 

You pull away, finally - put a hand on his chest and stare. 

“Rin-kun,” You whisper, uncertain of yourself which he hates. “I like you. I really like you.” And again, a little softer “And I want you to like me too,” Like that had been the biggest secret of all. Something you’d never told anyone, even once. 

Rin can’t imagine it. Have you been holding in something like this all this time? He only realized a couple hours ago and it already feels like he’s going to rip apart at the seams. 

“I do. I do like you.”

“Really? Forreal? Seriously? You’re not pulling my leg? Yanking my chain?” 

He knocks his forehead against yours. 

“Be quiet. How can you be this stupid in the middle of getting confessed to?” 

You pout. Pout at him, all whiny. God. 

“It doesn’t feel real to me.” 

He laughs humorlessly. “It’s all a dream. You’ll forget it all in the morning.” 

“Stop being mean to me.” 

He has to be. If he’s not you’re going to see right through him. 

“No,” He says instead “Stop being so ridiculous first.” 

“An impossible ask to the world's most ridiculous girl.” 

He smiles a little. 

“That’s a good name for you. I’ll change your contact.” 

“Nooo,” You say again, this time pulling him down for a hug. His eyes widened. And he’s unfair? “Be nice to your girlfriend.” 

He doesn’t have anything to say to that. It flusters him too, admittedly. Before he can think of a counter, you yawn big and wide. Rin is still on top of you and neither of you have brushed your teeth. He was planning on putting you up in the guest room, but currently you’re clinging to him half-away. And he has no such plans of telling you to move. 

“I’m so tired.” 

Rin feels like he’s going to pass out, He mumbles. 

“You can sleep.” 

“Want you to sleep too.” 

Rin closes his eyes. He couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to. You’ll have to talk about it in the morning. 

“Okay.” 

__ 

“Rin? Where’s your frie—oh!” 

Rin stirs the minute his mom enters the room. It only takes him a minute to regain consciousness and by the time he’s awake - he’s already regretting not locking his door. 

He continues to pretend to be asleep. He thinks you still are because you’re comfortably slotted in his arms. Rin is so embarrassed he wants to die. He hears his mom gasp, and then quietly shouts for his father to come to his room. 

“What are you—oh.” 

Rin is going to have the worst morning of his life whenever they leave. He remains still. He hears the shutter of a camera and grits his teeth all the way in the back of his jaw. 

“Oh this will make a great wedding photo.” 

His dad laughs a little to himself, ushering his mother out of the room “Don’t get carried away,” 

When the door finally clicks, Rin opens his eyes and lets out a breath of relief. Much to his shock, he also feels you stir. His eyes widen when you turn to him, your face painted in utter mortification before you bury it in your hands. He stares at you as you groan, kicking your feet. 

“Oh god I’m going to cry. How am I going to face her? Oh my god” 

Rin scoffs a little at your dramatics. It calms him down in a strange way “She’s not gonna say anything to you. She’s probably only going to bully me about it.” 

“I’ve forsaken you, mother-in-law” 

Rin nudges your ribs, blush crawling up his face. 

“Shut up.” 

__ 

Up until three weeks ago, Rin didn’t take issue with the way you interacted at school. 

You two have a pretty strict policy about it. Though you’re in the same class and you chat occasionally in the halls - you tend to avoid Rin where you can. Originally, this made sense. For the sake of his comfort and yours, the best choice was sneaking to the roof together to eat where you could remain mostly undisturbed. 

As such, Rin has never been particularly consciousness of your presence in the classroom. For starters, you’re always somewhere. A busybody of the highest pedigree and always running errands - even if Rin were to try to talk to you he can only really find you 20 percent of the time. Secondly, unlike Rin, you have a handful of friends surrounding you. Rin has interacted with them very briefly but you (seemingly for his sake) try not to force him out of his comfort zone too much by making you all sit together. The most Rin has gotten from them is a single knowing smirk or glance. 

And lastly, before three weeks ago, it would’ve been a big problem if people started getting onto either of you about a relationship that didn’t exist. That would've been all around awkward and uncomfortable and maybe would’ve deterred your future endeavors with other guys. 

That was when you and Itoshi Rin were in fact not dating. 

Three weeks into your relationship and nothing much has changed, though nowadays you come over to his house on weekends where you can. You’ve even been on one date after his dad (of all people) hounded him about never taking you on a proper one. 

You text the same as you did before, and you call Rin a little more often. Usually for the purposes of rambling so much you tucker yourself out and fall asleep. 

But at school, Rin only really sees you for the spare minutes of lunch and not much more than that. He’s never really thought about it before. It was never enough of an issue to warrant his intervention. 

It’s not like he cares, okay? 

But he’s more aware of it, now - frustratingly enough. You really don’t see each other often enough in school and you have many more guy friends than he had ever considered before. Every time he catches you and Murata-senpai trekking down the hall he feels his blood pressure rise. 

You and Rin have both decided, though. Despite his posting of you, neither of you have confirmed the relationship. Rin is immune to the prying and you’re good at dodging it altogether. This is the agreement. 

It is therefore very irrational of him to be thinking of speaking up at this current moment in time. 

Despite your mutual decision to keep things as private as possible, Rin has heard nothing but gossip about the situation for weeks. Outside of the usual, direct kind of prying - there’s whispers and stares and all sorts of other things. Rin doesn’t care about it. He’s used to it, it’s part of the gig and the neo-egoist league made him near immune. 

It’s all the things directed at you that make him seethe. Misplaced jealousy and the disappointed remarks of guys in class that make him feel like his blood pressure is rising. The latter is what’s making him most irritated now. How fucking long are these idiots going to talk about this? 

“Dude, you had like three years to confess,” Some idiot, who’s name Rin doesn’t know is still yapping “If she’s actually dating Mr.Popular then it’s on you for fucking yourself over.” 

The other idiot in question groans, and Rin forces his face to remain impassive as he listens. He tries to stop listening. More than once, actually. But they just keep going. 

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it dude. Like there’s no way, right? He rejected every single girl who ever confessed to him. I thought she was safe. And now my highschool love is forever ruined.” 

Like he ever stood a chance. How ridiculous. 

Another one of the goons speaks up “Dunno. Neither of them have said anything right? You miss all of the shots you don’t take.” 

“Are you saying I should just confess to her anyway? She got posted on his Instagram dude.” 

A smirk appears on Extra Three’s face “No confirmation means fair game. Stop being pussy and do it.” 

“You think I stand a chance against that dude?” 

Rin can feel all three pairs' eyes hit him at once. 

“Nah. Not a chance. But you could always wait till she’s all heartbroken and comfort her, right? Hook, line, and sinker.” 

“I hear when girls are heartbroken they’re like way more likely to let you—” 

With that, Rin stands to his feet. He’s seething. It’s ridiculous. It’s stupid. He should definitely just leave to go cool his head but he’s so fucking angry it’s hard to sit still and he has no other way of dealing with his feelings. So he walks towards the table slowly, eyes darkened and just barely holding it in

He knows this is a bad idea. He can feel the whole classroom look at him as he slams his hand down on the desk. But he doesn’t care. He’ll deal with it later. 

“You’d be fucking lucky if my girlfriend ever looked your way.” 

As soon as Rin says it, there's a thud at the door-way of the classroom. When he looks up you’re there with your eyes widened. Rin just looks back, impassive and immune to the sudden uproar of whispers. 

He only clicks his teeth when you grab him by the sleeve of his uniform - cracking a small smile as he hears the faint words “Just give up dude.” as he leaves. 

__ 

Up on the roof top, you’re shaking Rin by the shoulders - visibly distressed. 

“Hey! What the hell was that?” 

“What.” He offers, not willing to budge on the situation. In the first place he’s a little irritated by all of it. And he’s a little irritated by how much you’ve been enforcing the no-talking rule. Right now, it really feels like he can’t take it anymore. 

You frown deeply, distress only growing as the time passes in uncomfortable silence. Rin doesn’t want to be civil about it. About it and about you and about those idiots. 

“We had an agreement!” You say, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, though it’s weak. He stares down at you. 

“So what?” 

“Rin, we talked about this. Don’t be like this.” 

“Like what.” 

“Pissy and weird. You’re being weird and I don’t like it. It’s making me sad.” 

“How am I being—” 

Before Rin can proceed with his sentence, he catches a glimpse of your face in the midst of his tantrum. Sad like a puppy who got its tail stepped on and about ready to cry, he immediately seals his mouth in fear of making it worse. 

“Why are you doing that?” He spits. 

“Doing what?”

“Being all sad and pathetic. Does it really bother you that much if people know we’re dating?” 

“It’s not like that.” You assure. 

“Then what is it?” Rin prods, frustrated but not wanting to make things worse “Why is it such a big deal?” 

There’s a bout of silence before you sigh. 

“Rin, you’re a huge soccer player. The people you’re dating and stuff - it’s a big deal,” 

Rin cuts you off. 

“That’s what you were worried about? My career?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“You’re stupid.” 

“Hey! I’m seriously worried about it and then you go and—” 

He gives you a frown. He forgets all too often you’re like this. He’s used to your silly and unserious way of talking, so it slips his mind that you’re actually a massively responsible person. You probably have a point about it, thinking of the consequences of your relationship through hell and back. With a detached sense of rationality - Rin can recognize that you’re probably thinking about more things than this. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so touchy of a subject. 

Nothing’s changed on paper, but everything will eventually. It’s something to think about, admittedly. 

Honestly Rin doesn’t care what strangers think. He’s blunt and unfriendly. Always has been, and will continue to be through the majority of his career he’s absolutely sure. Even outside of Bluelock, he has almost no regard for the opinions of other people and what concerns them. Maybe it’s irresponsible, but Rin isn’t playing soccer for the approval of the populace and nothing will ever change that. 

“If I thought that was something I should worry about, we wouldn’t be dating.” 

You look up at him. 

“You should be worried about it.” You emphasize. 

“I’m not. I don’t care what any of those people think.” 

“Then why’d you go and say something?” 

Rin seethes.

“They deserved it.” 

Your hand reaches for his cheek. He pauses and takes a deep breath, staring at you. He leans into your touch instinctively, frustration eased by the sensation. You stare back. 

“Okay. We’ll announce it officially later, then.” 

“Do we even need to do that? If you tell three people, half of our grade’ll find out anyway.” 

“Are you saying my friends  gossip?” 

He doesn’t reply to that. You pout at him and Rin fights the urge to kiss you. There’s a beat of silence as you give him a hug - the two of you on the same roof you always are. Rin doesn’t mind it, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist. 

“You know, it’s gonna get busy for me soon.” You mumble. So this is what else you were worrying about. “And for you. I have my entrance exam and the school is in Tokyo. And you’re gonna go back to Bluelock and—” 

“It’ll be fine.”

“I’m worried about it anyways.” 

“About what?” 

“I’ll see you less. What if you stop liking me randomly and I can’t even hunt you down about it?” 

Rin huffs “You’re insane enough to find me,” He drops his chin on your shoulder “Plus you talk to my mom.” 

“You’re gonna be so busy.” 

“I’ll come see you when I’m not.” 

“And you’re going to be surrounded by the human equivalent of siren women someday soon.” 

“I don’t care about that.” 

“But you might.” 

“I haven’t in eighteen years, you moron.” 

“I’m gonna miss you all the time.” You say, sniffly and Rin is so struck with a feeling of affection he almost falls “I already miss you all the time.” 

He squeezes you a little tighter “It’ll be fine.”

“For you.” 

Rin furrows his brow, pulling back to stare at you. 

“Not for me,” Because Rin can begrudgingly admit he will miss you worse than this “Just in general. It’ll be fine. You almost made it a year without me.” 

“But now I’m with you,” You reply easily, and softly and oh-so in love Rin wants to turn away “And I’m so happy and I want it be like this for a long time,”

“Just a long time? Not something stupid like a blossoming eternity?” 

“I thought I’d scare you.” 

“You did that in April.” He points out flatly. You hit him lightly but smile anyway. 

“It’s a problem how much I like you.” 

Rin likes you just as much. You’re probably too much of an idiot to realize and won’t for a long while. He takes a little comfort in, strangely.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll come see you.” He says again, because it’s the only thing he can think to say. He believes in it thoroughly. If Rin were a better, more candidly vulnerable person he thinks now he’d give the loving boyfriend speech. He almost wants to half-assedly try but can’t bring himself to get past the awkwardness. He hugs you tighter because it’s all he’s capable of, and hopes he can will it into you. The sincerity of his words, he wants so badly for them to reach you “Stop worrying so much.” 

“Rin-kun,” You start, then pause to look up at him. His breath hitches “Rin. I love you. Really.” 

He feels like he’s gonna be sick as he stares at you, eyes widened. You look the same as you always do. Unexpectant, terribly sincere, with your heart on your sleeve. The more Rin knows you, the more he thinks it can’t be easy to be so vulnerable all the time. 

So you do it for him, and only him. And Rin is always going to be intolerable. Frustrating and impatient. But he wants to do it for you too, where he can. Rin wants you to know it’ll be fine because the fact that you’re standing here now is nothing short of a miracle. Nothing comes out right. 

“Yeah.” He says, but he can’t get the rest of words out. And you laugh, and peek up at him through your lashes. 

“And you love me too, don’t you?” 

Rin grits his teeth. He wants to say no. 

“I guess.” 

“And we’re going to be just fine.” You repeat, hugging him tight. Rin hugs you back. He wants to say thank you. He wants to kiss you stupid and make fun of you at the same time. He wants you so much and so often he’s sure he’s lost his fucking mind. 

But he agrees with you, at least. He nods. He holds you. He doesn’t like to lie, so he looks at you instead. 

“Yeah. It’s gonna be fine.” 

__

EPILOGUE ; 

In Rin’s defense, he’s not trying to listen in on the conversions of your underclassmen. 

For starters, the club door is cracked up and Rin only has one airpod fully charged. Secondly, it’s not like they’re being quiet. Rin’s pretty sure anyone with decent enough hearing could hear them from down the hall. Given that it’s the newspaper club, he’s sure that the conversation isn’t usually this interesting. 

It’s just when he catches wind of your name while you’re nowhere to be found, he finds himself eavesdropping just a little. He leans back into the chair he’s sitting in, face tucked into his black mask and hat pulled neatly over his head. 

“Guys, I’ve decided I’m going to confess to Boss  no matter what.” 

He must mean you. Rin often hears how some of the people in the club affectionately add danchou to the end of your name. Rin scoffs a little at the kids' confidence. It reminds him a little of highschool. Rin really think you’re at more of a risk than he is. Being a celebrity makes him naturally unattainable - more of a fixture than a person. 

Everytime someone confesses to you though it’s sincere. From knowing you. And he gets it but it doesn’t keep him from scoffing and turning his nose up. 

“It’d be a good idea to give up while you’re ahead.” Says another unnamed voice. 

“Yeah Nakao-san. Do you even know who Senpai's boyfriend is?” 

“N-no. But it doesn’t matter. Through the powerful of love I’ll—”

Before Rin gets a chance to listen anymore, he hears your voice call out for him. He snaps his head up to look at you. You’re dressed so professionally it’s hard to recognize you like that. Your hair is cut neat and styled professionally and you’re dressed in business casual. He’s relieved he brought shoes for you to change into. 

You run up to him anyway, and Rin stands up to make sure you don’t stumble as you throw your arms around his neck. You’re closer in height with your heels on so he doesn’t have to bend down much at all to kiss you. He pulls down his mask quickly.

“Rin-tan, you’re here.” You say with a soft, breathless giggle “I missed youuu.” 

“Missed you too,” He says, an arm squeezed around your waist “I have shoes for you in the car,”

You gasp, rubbing your cheek against his affectionately. 

“You’re the best in the world. My feet are so sore.” 

“Did the interview go well?” Rin asks. You pull away, moving your hair away from your eyes before nodding. 

“Uh-huh. The women's rugby team captain is super chill and she interviews great so it went smoothly. I just need to drop the transcript off and then we can leave,” You say holding his hand. He squeezes your palms “Do you want to meet them? You don’t have to but a lot of them ask about you.” 

Normally Rin would say no. But he’s feeling a little petty today, after all. 

“Sure.” 

You beam, your hand in his as you nudge the door open. The room goes silent, a bout of excited cheering following at your return. He’s relieved to see you’re still so well loved, a little reluctant to let go of your hand. 

“Senpai, you’re back.” 

“Yup, yup. I have the transcript and recording on this USB. Watch it and draft the article up tonight. When I come in tomorrow, we’ll go through editing and get it out by Monday.” You say, hand on hip before remembering his presence. You grab him and Rin follows “Oh, and guys - this is my boyfriend! Rin Itoshi.” 

Most of them seem to know. Rin can sense the admiration but it’s respectful. He can tell that everyone is professionals in the field. Rin likes that. He bows politely. 

“Nice to meet everyone,” 

“Nice to meet you too, Itoshi-san.” 

“Danchou…you’re dating Rin Itoshi…the famous soccer player Rin Itoshi?” 

You giggle, looping your arm in Rin’s. He laughs internally. It’s the same kid who wanted to confess to you. 

“Uh-huh. We’re highschool sweethearts! And today is our very special date night so don’t contact me for any reason until tomorrow morning at least. I’ll see you guys later.” 

“Bye, senpai.” 

“Have fun on your date.” 

With that, you turn the corner and leave the room - immediately beginning to ramble about your day. Rin half-listens. He only pays complete attention when he hears your kouhais talking from down the hall. 

“Told you to give up, dude.” 

“Rin. Are you paying attention?” 

He chuckles to himself. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

❁ a/n ; hello!! me again. first of alll, if you read through this whole fic, thank you so much. second of all i want to discuss a few things about this fic.

im usually pretty keen on localization for my fics where possible because i think it makes for a smoother reader experience - however the usage of honorifics was important to the atmosphere for this one so i'll hope it wasn't too awkward to read.

secondly, im nervous about rins characterization for this one so i hope it was alright. apologies for any errors its 5am and im soo tired.

this fic was mostly meant as an exploration of how i think rin would really benefit from being with someone eccentric and bubbly. the core of their relationship is that reader is an overall emotionally intelligent and honest person and how that has a huge influence on rin so i hope that growth came thru. once again thanks for reading and i hope u enjoyed. rbs and tags always appreciated!

#itoshi rin x reader #itoshi rin fluff #bllk x reader #bllk fluff #writing tag #rin x reader #rin fluff #my brother in christ... how did this happen.

[breaddwoo]

-Bloody Kisses-

pairing: wednesday x vamp! reader

word count: 3.22k

warnings: slight nsfw, blood

desc: wednesday helps you with your blood deficiency and becomes addicted to the pain of your bite :)

a/n: lowkey erotic despite there being nothing sexual 😭😭 will probably write a pt 2!!

edit: pt 2 is out :)

tonight was like any night for wednesday; pitch black gear on to help camouflage her in the dead of night, hoping to once again get a glimpse of the hyde.

what she didn't expect was to watch a girl tumble limply down the incline that wednesday took shelter at the bottom of.

she heard a few coughs, painful ones that sounded full of death. coughs like those came from people close to hades' door.

in her intrigue, wednesday couldn't help but lift from her hiding spot and slowly trek towards the girl laying face down in the fallen autumn leaves. she knelt, placing a hand on the girl's shoulder to flip her upright.

who she saw was someone she recognized to be one of enid's closest friends. from enid's stories, her name is (y/n) and she happened to be part of the vampire division of the school.

wednesday noticed your eyelids begin to flutter with consciousness and she took a step back.

when you fully opened them, it took you a second to recognize where you were. taking in your surroundings, wednesday's attentive gaze smothered you.

your arms began to lift you from the ground, but they went limp and you collapsed into the leaves once more.

"you look awful," wednesday said in her monotone voice.

you looked up to her, eye twitching with pain, "gee, thanks."

"i suppose you're (y/n)."

"and i suppose you're wednesday addams," you retorted, a painful coughing fit following soon after.

"how come you're in this state?" she questioned. it almost sounded like concern, but you knew enough from enid that wednesday doesn't feel emotions like that.

you let out a self-pitying laugh, "i can't ingest the animal blood offered at school. i always throw it up, no matter how hard i try. i'm dying and i can't tell anyone."

"are you not already dead?"

her insensitivity was astounding.

"my bad for not using the correct terminology," you spat, another coughing fit taking over your lungs and causing you to clench the soil beneath.

as wednesday watched your life drain from your weak body, an idea dug itself into her thoughts. "is it human blood that you desire?"

you looked at her like she was stupid. the expression on your face was answer enough, so she continued, "i will give you some of mine."

now your pale face was dumbstruck. is this bitch crazy?

"why the fuck would you want to do that?" you asked, thinking her suggestion was absolute nonsense.

"to say that i am curious about the feeling of a vampire bite would be a... crude understatement," she replied, her eyes the color of the sky above, omitting the stars.

you shook your head defiantly, "absolutely not. i don't think i could control myself, i might just suck you dry."

wednesday's mouth twitched, restraining a masochistic smile.

"do you really have a choice, (y/n)? "

you looked down at yourself. your throat felt like hell fire and every single limb held an unbearable ache. you were treading a thin line between immortality and mortality, and that scared you.

running a hand through your hair, you gazed back up at her, "fine. we do this once, and i will owe you. just please, please don't tell anyone. i'm afraid everyone will believe i'll go ballistic without blood and i'll get expelled."

wednesday nodded and slowly sat beside you, her small frame accentuated by the moon light behind her. getting a better look, you could tell how pretty she was. enid never mentioned that.

"what is it that you need me to do?"

you looked at her, examining what she was wearing. a black spaghetti strap dress that zipped from behind with a long sleeved turtle neck beneath.

realizing what you were about to say, your face began to warm, "uhm- you'll need to uh, to removed the turtle neck under your dress."

she nodded, then said, "it would be easier if you would unzip the dress for me."

how she kept a calm, emotionless expression on her face was beyond you. having this much contact with someone you've only heard about through stories made your face flush red.

after unzipping her dress, wednesday didn't even hesitate to pull the turtle neck over her head. this exposed most of her bare, pale back and the inky lace bra that her clothes had hidden. you were intensely mortified.

"w-wait, are you okay with me seeing this? i-" your words of embarrassment were cut short by more hacking, this time with a string of blood down the side of your mouth.

"i am fine," she stated, moving the dress back up and concealing her bra once more. now her shoulders and neck were fully exposed. your mouth practically flooded with saliva at the thought of piercing the smooth skin with your fangs.

"(y/n), " she said, this time with a little force in her tone, "do it. i want you to."

these words made your chest tighten. you tried to breathe a little more steady, "okay."

scooting closer to her, you moved one of her black braids from the left side of her neck to let it hang behind her. you took her bare shoulders in your hands, leaning close to the skin of her exposed neck.

though you felt awful for what you were about to do, you also felt completely exhilarated.

and, surprisingly, so did wednesday. the way you gently caressed her as your warm breath tickled the skin about to be pierced; it had her mind tangling in knots that she couldn't be bothered to unravel.

the prick of pain that followed the penetration of your teeth made wednesday's entire body shiver. she was hyper aware of the blood draining from the spot you assaulted but the feeling was intensely pleasing.

she felt warm. then she felt cold. her shoulder went fuzzy, like it no longer blonged to her. then her mind floated in a euphoria she'd never experienced before; the pain was like a bruise she enjoyed pressing on.

you also felt incredible. with each second that passed by, it felt like life was entering your body once more. the liquid vitality that you consumed almost made your still heart beat again.

you loved the feeling. you wanted to drink. you wanted all of it, all of her. but in the back of your mind, a small voice screamed at you to stop. the voice got louder until you forced yourself to pull away.

a small stream of blood dripped to wednesday's collarbone. "you can lick it," she said in a monotone voice laced with need. you shook your head, wiping your mouth.

wednesday couldn't wrap her head around the euphoric feeling that your bite had inflicted on her; all she knew was that she wanted to experience it again.

with your fangs on full view, color returned to your face and a body back to it's original state, you looked like a whole new person. this thought set a fire ablaze in her stomach and she couldn't tell if she enjoyed it or not.

her arms felt like wet noodles. she tried to lift them, attempting to put her garment back on; it was to no avail.

you saw this, "i'm sorry, i drank too much. let me help you."

as you went to help her, she fell backwards onto your lap. eyes widening in concern, you lean close to check her complexion, "wednesday, are you okay? i'm sorry, i really should have restrained myself. "

"no," she shook her head adamantly, "i requested this. and it's not like being in this state is unenjoyable."

you pressed your lips together in a line full of judgement, but said nothing. after her clothes were placed back on her, she tried to lift herself off of you.

"wait, wait- trust me, if you can't put your own clothes on then you can't stand by yourself," you said with care, standing and placing her arm around your shoulders.

the walk back to nevermore was quiet. neither of you spoke a word, wednesday too light headed from the painful pleasure of your teeth. she even forgot what she had been doing outside in the first place.

when you arrived at her dorm, she was still weak and needed support. wednesday held a finger to her lips. her dead eyes motioned to the door. you knew that enid was inside, and hopefully, she was asleep.

with the door unlocked, you assisted wednesday to her bed. when you went to set her down, however, you tripped on the corner of her bedsheets that hung to the floor.

wednesday's eyes widened in surprise as you came crashing down on top of her. chest to chest, the details of her face were in close proximity. you could practically trace patterns in her constellation of freckles.

shuffling and the sound of a comforter moving came from the other side of the room. enid.

wednesday's arms encircled you as she pressed you closer to her chest, forcing your head to hide in the crook of her neck.

your face was practically on fire. this is so not how tonight was supposed to go.

"shhh," she whispered, completely unfazed. you could tell she was being cautious of her sleeping roommate.

as her soft, black hair began to tickle your nose, she released you. you quickly backed away from her, making sure you stayed quiet.

"thank you," you whisper. she gives you a slightly perplexed expression in response.

tiptoeing to the door, you open it. looking behind one last time, you notice that wednesday has situated herself into a more comfortable position. you waved at her, and close the door without a sound.

wednesday lay there, mind recounting the events of the night. she tried to cipher through them, but one thought continued to surface through the rest:

she smells like vanilla.

> > >

wednesday wanted to see you again. it seemed like every time she caught a glimpse of you in the hallway, you soon disappeared as if you hadn't been there.

it was starting to frustrate her. were you avoiding her?

the thought made her grind her teeth; it also made her insanely confused. normally, she would prefer that people avoided her. but with you, it just made her want to scratch at her skin.

finally, during lunch period a week later, she saw you sitting with enid and her group. wednesday contemplated whether or not it would be a good idea to go up to you; she had promised to keep the ordeal a secret. no one knew the two had any connection to one another.

her heart outweighed her brain in the end and she stepped into the maze of lunch tables.

"(y/n)," she called. the words you were speaking to enid dropped from your mouth when you noticed the girl in black next to you.

you smiled, fangs displayed, "oh, uh- hey, wednesday."

wednesday's eyes turned to where your tray should be, noticing that you had nothing to eat.

"i need to talk to you," she stated, "in private."

enid raised a brow, trying to subtly ask her why? but wednesday pretended to be ignorant; though, she knew she wouldn't be able to avoid an interrogation later.

you awkwardly laughed, giving a strained smile, "sure."

when wednesday lead you to a deserted hallway, her expression changed into a slightly angry one.

"are you avoiding me?" she asked bravely. you were surprised.

"well, we're not friends so i didn't think we needed to see one another."

the answer irritated her.

she tried to restrain her snarkiness, "i see you're still avoiding the animal blood."

you nodded, afraid of where this was going. it's not like you didn't enjoy what you both did a week ago; it was quite the opposite actually.

every time you thought of her your breath caught in your throat. the image of her bare shoulder basically served on a silver platter plagued your mind. god, avoiding her was awful.

you just knew that if you saw her again, you wouldn't be able to control yourself anymore. the little restraint you had was terrifying.

"so? what do you want?" your words came off a bit harsher than you intended, but you were afraid of her intentions.

she cracked a small smile, but it quickly dissipated as she said, "i want to do it again."

you knew it.

"wednesday, what we did- we can't do it again. i'm not as strong as you think," you tried to explain, "i was able to restrain myself last time. i won't be able to again."

wednesday took a step closer; her cold breath sending a ghostly chill down your spine.

"what if i don't want you to?"

you didn't know what to say. her words were painfully tempting; if you could, you would tear her uniform in the middle of the hallway and consume a waterfall.

you stayed silent for a moment, then cracked, "okay, fine, meet me at my dorm tonight. my roommate has plans so she won't be there."

elation filled wednesday to the brim; if she could scream and jump up and down in excitement she would've. instead, she nodded her head once and said, "see you then," before slipping into the darkness of the empty hallway before her.

you took a seat on a nearby bench, putting your head in your hands.

she really had you wrapped around her finger.

> > >

as you had instructed wednesday later in the day with a slip of your dorm key in her hand, she snuck into your room at the devil's hour.

there she caught you in pajamas, reading a book on your windowsill. she cocked her head a bit. the scene perplexed her.

wednesday had never seen you in casual clothing before; nor did she know that you enjoyed reading. this information was practically useless but it made her feel a closeness to you that felt impossible before.

your room wasn't bright like enid's; there were a few pinups of different artists and a cd collection on a small bookshelf. warm lighting made the room feel comfortable, unlike the white hospital lights that wednesday utilized in her own.

it took you a second to realize wednesday had arrived, quickly placing a bookmark in a page and turning towards her.

"are you sure you want to do this again?" you asked, wanting to reaffirm her consent.

wednesday already began taking off the black cardigan she wore over her tank top, looking at you with eyes that spelled are you daft?

you nodded, socked feet making small thumps on the ground as you walked toward your bed.

you patted the spot to your right. wednesday understood this signal, sitting close enough that her thighs touched your own.

a shaky breath left your throat. you were going to do this. it was too late to back out now; not with wednesday waiting patiently before you.

she pushed the strap of her tank top off her shoulder, leaving it completely naked. then you realized that the position the two of you were in wouldn't make this process comfortable enough.

"wednesday, do you mind- uh, shit, how do i say this," you were practically sweating as you swiveled towards her, legs criss crossed.

she mirrored your movements. her eyes were leveled with yours, patiently waiting for your directions.

"please- fuck, please sit in my lap. it'll give me the best angle so that i don't hurt you too badly."

you swore you saw a little flush spread on her freckled cheeks.

"alright," she agreed, crawling over to you. wednesday put her hands on your shoulders as she placed herself in the divot between your crossed legs. in this position, she was basically straddling you.

shit, isn't this a tad too intimate?

your thoughts were far beyond obsurd considering this was your request. knowing this, you sighed and let your eyes wander to her exposed shoulder.

"you're looking at it as if it's a buffet, you know," wednesday stated. you looked up at her, giving an annoyed face.

"i'm just nervous, geez."

wednesday's icey hand slithered up your back and rested at the nape of your neck. she guided your head closer, encouraging you to feast.

"do it," she whispered, her breath tickling your ear. by now, any self-discipline you tried to scrounge up had long vanished.

you leaned in. licking the chosen spot on her neck for a second, wednesday shuddered under your touch.

when you let your teeth puncture the virgin skin, you couldn't help but wrap her in your arms as you gripped her back.

wednesday let her head fall back, closing her eyes. the painful ecstasy was hers once again. this time felt different, though.

this time it was more than just the fangs deep in her skin; it was you, holding her tight as the familiar fragrance of vanilla washed over her senses. pain and pleasure were two sides of the same coin and wednesday felt light headed as she experienced both at once.

your fingers found their way under her tank top, wanting to grab at more than fabric. the taste of her blood made the world turn to static. your ears went deaf and all you could focus on was the girl in your lap and the way her jet black hair brushed against your face.

this act was like a drug administering the same affect on both addicts. you felt drunk and as your teeth sunk further in her shoulder, so did wednesday.

with her abdomen against yours, there was no room for you to get closer. when you pulled away, wednesday looked at you with her eyes half-lidded.

your mind was in a fog as you gazed at her. with the taste of blood still afflicting your tongue, your only thought was how beautiful wednesday looked.

and as she met your inebriated gaze, an overwhelming urge to kiss you took hold of her actions.

she leaned in. despite knowing close to nothing about you and wanting little to do with romance, she wanted you. she wanted you and the painful pleasure you bestowed upon her.

you got swept up in the moment and kissed her back instantly. you squeezed her closer, grazing her lip with your fang. irony blood tainted your lips. the taste left you higher than any drug.

opening her mouth, wednesday deepened the sinful kiss and you reciprocated in full. you felt like you couldn't breath. you didn't want to pull away.

just as wednesday's tongue skimmed your teeth, you pulled away.

deep breaths fogged the cold windows of the small dorm room. you still held her as her dead eyes held something a little more than a dark abyss; something even wednesday couldn't understand.

she wanted to continue, to ask you to bite her again and again and again. it didn't matter if you took all of her; it would be a great headline on a tombstone.

so, once you'd filled your lungs, wednesday stole away the distance of your lips once more.

you fell back, holding her. by now it was far past four in the morning, with school in three hours.

neither of you cared. the bloody kisses were an intoxication full of need; tonight would feel like forever.

#wednesday netflix #wednesday addams #wednesday x reader #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday imagine #wednesday addams imagine #wednesday oneshot #wednesday addams oneshot #wednesday x you #wednesday x y/n #wednesday/you

[houseofanticipation]

This is part 2. Read part 1.

You're in the grocery store. In the canned goods aisle. You pick up a can of potato leek soup and notice the mascot, a burly chef with his arms crossed, is pretty good-looking. This makes you wet.

It's been a month since you first took that stranger's cum on your face in the mall bathroom. Since then there have been few new specific tasks to complete; most of your benefactor's instructions have been simple rules to follow. You wish there would be more tasks—you liked the thrill of leaving your actions in the hands of a stranger, not knowing what shameful, disgusting thing you would have to do next—but you can't deny the rules have been keeping you busy.

The first rule, the one about cumming whenever you feel like cumming, has been more time consuming than you'd have expected. You always knew you were hornier than the average person, but now that you're paying attention you realize just how often you've been suppressing the urge. Now a day when you only cum three times feels downright ascetic.

Your favorite place to cum is the bus. There's a spot in the back of the older busses with a handrail that, when you step over and straddle it (you no longer bother with panties), seems to rub your pussy like nothing else in the world. So many factors come together to make it work: The thickness of the pole spreads your pussy lips just so. The height of the rail puts it just slightly above your normal crotch height, meaning it presses into you in just the right way, and you can stand on your tip toes if you want to vary the pressure. When you grind your clit into the rail the vibration of the bus makes for the most exquisite sensation, a throbbing, shuddering feeling just adjacent to pain that almost always elicits an involuntary moan from you. You've done it enough times now that you're beginning to recognize the best places to cum on the bus route, where the roads are bumpier or the potholes more frequent.

The best part, the part that gets you making up errands when you have no reason to take the bus that day, the part that makes you so wet you're dripping on the sidewalk before the bus even arrives, is thinking about just how dirty the rail is. All the hands that have touched it before you, all the germs they brought with them, all the particulates and oils and grimes. It looks clean enough, but just thinking about it fills you with such shame and disgust that you could almost cum without any stimulation at all.

Shame has been a problem for you. Shame is an elusive dragon, and each time you catch her she becomes harder to catch again. Fingering your cunt in public used to cripple you with embarrassment, and now it barely seems worth working up a flush over. You've found yourself considering ever deeper acts of depravity, just to elicit the same feeling you once got from blowing a guy to completion in a public bathroom. It worries you, a little; what will you cum to once you can't sink any lower?

But there is still so much further to sink.

Another of your benefactor's rules, instituted after your first week, is that any sexual suggestion, advance, or threat is to be considered an absolute command. A guy in a bar grabbed your ass and said your lips would look pretty around his cock, and you were unbuttoning his pants before he could even get you to a private corner. A man in the park told you he'd fuck you till you were screaming his name, so you sat down on the grass and lifted your skirt (though in point of fact he came in you after about thirty seconds and you wouldn't have known his name if you had been inclined to scream it). A construction worker whistled at you as you walked by, and before you knew it you had cum dripping from your every hole and an angry foreman telling you to get off his site and stop distracting his guys.

These rules have made it pretty much impossible to hold down a job, but you've been finding it increasingly easy to function without spending money. You first noticed it on the bus, after you'd already been riding it to cum every day for a couple weeks. One day as you were boarding, preparing to swipe your fare card, the woman behind you practically shoved you out of the way to reach the card reader herself. You stumbled, caught yourself, and then realized the line was moving on, and the driver wasn't telling you to pay. You didn't argue—the cost of these bus trips was beginning to add up already—but it did strike you as strange. The next day you didn't try to pay at all, just walked right on board, and once again the bus driver didn't stop you, barely even seemed to notice you. You wondered on this during you cum session, sliding your sopping wet pussy ponderously up and down the length of the rail. It occurred to you just as you approached the climax of a particularly intense and vocal orgasm what your benefactor had said in his very first message to you.

when i am done with you strangers on the street will perceive you as a Thing.

Was it already happening? Were you already so below a human being that you couldn't be expected to pay your way on the bus? Were you just a Thing that drifted in sometimes, to be ignored or put up with until it drifted off again? As you screamed your pleasure and gushed into a puddle on the floor, you looked out at the people. They looked at their phones and put in their headphones, and not a one of them looked at you.

It made sense when you thought about it. You'd been fucking and sucking and cumming and being cum on all over the city at that point, and you hadn't had a single problem with the police. You'd even let an officer stick a nightstick up your ass once. Your theory seemed all but confirmed when you realized the bus no longer bothers to stop if you are the only one waiting.

So you look at the can of potato leek soup. At the oddly sexy little chef, with his rosy cheeks and his muscular arms and what you can only assume is a rock-hard cock standing to attention behind the brand name. You feel that pressure below your stomach, a buildup of tension as your nether regions begin to moisten. You turn the can over in your hand, wondering about its exact diameter.

Moments later you're on the floor, trying to fit a soup can in your pussy.

It takes some time. You have to play with your clit for a while to get the lubrication you need, and even then it takes some determination. The edges of the can are hard, uncomfortable, but that little bit of pain is enough to just tickle the massively overstimulated shame receptors in your brain, making your face flush and your clit throb. Once the base is in it's just a matter of slow persistence, working it into your pussy inch by inch, until your lips just close around the bottom rim. It's not completely swallowed up—the base is still clearly visible, like a metal wall across your hole—but you think it's as deep as it's going to go. And god it feels amazing.

You push on it with your finger, gasping as it presses against your insides. This is the most full you've ever been, the most stretched you've ever felt. You rub circles around your swollen clit, holding your free hand over your pussy to stop the can from coming out. You're moaning now, closing your eyes and throwing back your head and feeling yourself contract around the unyielding metal.

"Hey, are you the girl from that video?"

You open your eyes and look up to see a pair of young men looking down at you. One of them holds out his phone to show you the video of your bathroom encounter a month ago. He's even been thoughtful enough to scrub forward to the moment the first rope of cum hits your face. You know that video well; it's been your masturbation aid many a night. The act itself no longer carries much shame for you—you've done much worse things much more publicly—but watching the video, seeing the look on your face, brings you back to the way you felt in that moment, if just an echo of it: the lust, the shame, the exhilaration, the disgust. It might seem forward, showing porn to a stranger in the grocery store, but in their defense, you do have your legs splayed open and a can of soup in your cunt.

You nod your response to the initial question, unable to speak as the pleasure swells inside you. You find yourself speaking less and less these days; most of your interaction with human beings involves them fucking you in some way, and all you really need for that is the right body language. Case in point: when one of the men stammers out something about being a fan of your work, all you need to do is roll over on your knees, plant your face on the scuffed linoleum, and spread your ass cheeks open. That's plenty invitation, and you never even had to open your mouth.

One of the guys (you can't see which, but they seem basically interchangeable) pours lube on your asshole and begins to rub it with his fingers, pressing first against it, and then into it. You have no idea where the lube came from, but you're thankful for it, and you're glad he takes the bait on your asshole instead of trying for your pussy. You'd have to let him use it if he wanted to, but you're not ready to take this can out yet. It slipped a little when you took your hand off, and pushing it back in feels fantastic. Especially as this guy massages your insides with his fingers.

A pair of powerful hands takes you by the shoulders and hoists you up, putting you eye level with the other man's cock. You can see the blood is pumping, but he's not fully hard yet. That just means you have a job to do. Using your free hand to support yourself you take him into your mouth, swishing his cock around with your tongue, feeling it inflate and stiffen in real time. It's bigger than you'd have guessed, and as it reaches its full length you find it pushing further back, past the your tongue. You relax your throat and extend your tongue, tears welling up in your eyes as you push deeper, deeper, trying to get far enough to give his balls a little lick. It's at that moment the guy in the back decides it's time to put his cock in you.

The combination of the dick in your ass and the can in your pussy is like nothing you've ever felt. It's a fullness, a pressure, painful in the most intensely pleasurable way. You take your hand off the ground, leaving the full weight of your torso in the hands of the man whose cock is in your throat, and go back to masturbating the way you were before these men showed up: one hand to stimulate the clit, the other to push the can in and out, in and out.

Now in full control of your upper body, the man at the front begins to thrust more aggressively. Long ropes of saliva dangle from your chin as you gurgle happily, throwing yourself into each thrust, tasting his precum when he pulls out far enough to get it on your tongue. He's getting close now, you can feel it in the throbbing of his cock and the urgency of his thrusts, but before he can burst he pulls back. "Let me see my cum on your tongue," he says breathlessly. You oblige, sticking out your tongue and trying to cup it so the cum doesn't slide off.

The two men cum at the same time. You hadn't noticed the guy in your ass was that close—you suppose you were too focused on the front. He bends over you as his cum fills your ass, pinching and tugging your nipples through your shirt. The other man spills load after load onto your tongue, watching in satisfaction as it slides down into your throat. You used to dislike the taste of cum, but you've begun to think of it like coffee or wine: the more of it you taste the more you enjoy, and the more complexity you're able to discern in the flavor. This man's cum makes you think of an oyster; slimy, salty, with an undertone of freshness like that of the ocean.

As both cocks withdraw you roll onto your back to finish yourself off, but before you can even touch yourself the man whose cum now sits in your stomach is grabbing you by the wrists and pinning them to the ground. A sound you didn't know was in you, a growl of animal frustration, wells up in your throat as you struggle against his weight. But the sound subsides when the other man begins rubbing your clit himself. He's faster about it than you would be, less subtle, and quickly the pleasure becomes too intense. You buck and jerk, trying to pull back, but his hand chases your clit each time you manage to make space, never letting up for more than a second or two. You scream and gnash your teeth as shivers chase each other up and down your skin, your legs tremble, your eyes roll back. The force of your pussy contracting into the orgasm is enough to push out the can, making a sound that can only be described as a schlorp! as it comes out of you. Your own cum mingles on the linoleum with the cum dripping out of ass. You fall limp, gasping for air, staring up at the ceiling.

The men laugh and take a few pictures, and by the time you're able to sit up, they're both gone. You stand on wobbly legs, brushing yourself off, and see your phone on the ground. It's always falling out of these tiny pockets.

On your phone is a message from your benefactor. A single sentence, accompanied by a pinned map location.

go to this location and await further instruction.

You pick up the can and look at the chef again, now thoroughly soaked from his time with you. You wipe it on your skirt and make for the exit. You doubt anyone will mind if you take this with you.

#degredation kink #dehumanization kink #cvmdump #cvmslvt #cnc free use

[enviedear]

save the date ⟶ james potter

DESCRIPTION ⌙ after an innocent suggestion that james potter is horrible at relationships, he feels inclined to prove you wrong. PAIRING ⌙ james x fem!reader CW ⌙ mention of food, eating food, petnames WORD COUNT ⌙ 2.3k

❛ ֪ ׂ shenanigans? is that what you call your love life? ֪ ׂ ❜

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for the second time this month, you’re spending your friday evening trying to drone out an argument. hilariously large and bulky headphones sit upon your ears— and yet you can still make out the aggravatingly grating noise.

if you’d known being james’ roommate would have entailed you hearing multiple fights from different girlfriends, you may not have signed the lease.

may not have— because a rent controlled apartment in the city is far too good to pass by.

truthfully, you felt a little bit bad for james. he was so good at picking gorgeous, captivating women. you could never fault his taste, no, you faulted his ability to be a boyfriend.

take this instance, a disagreement that started over dinner plans, only to devolve into a full blown argument. over what currently? you’re not exactly sure. but by the way the woman was yelling at him, you were sure he had said something stupid.

seconds later you can hear her huff, slam his door, walk down the stairs, and leave the apartment.

slowly, you remove your headphones, the noise of your music now being the only thing you can hear. you wait, looking expectantly at your door.

almost on some cue, james opens your door with a counterfeit smile on his face, “any plans tonight?”

you roll your eyes at him, “let me guess? non refundable dinner reservation and two tickets to the movies.”

he walks into your room, plopping down on your bean bag chair, “act nice or i’ll take sirius instead.”

you ignore him, “be honest, what did you do this time?”

“absolutely nothing.” he grumbles, shaking his head.

you didn’t believe him for a second. you’ve known james for four years now and you’ve lived with him for two. you knew in your soul that he, despite trying, always managed to do something.

he had a strange ineptitude for romance. it was as though he couldn't make it a week before his stupidity turned from endearing to unbearable.

he sighs, "she kept asking me if i had anything planned for our date— and i didn't want to ruin the surprise, so i just kept saying no. 'no, honey, i figure we'd wing it.' fuck— i didn't think it would blow up like that."

you gape at him, "but you did tell her, right?"

he shrugs, "by the time i thought to she was already leaving."

this was james, unable to keep a relationship purely because of his own doing.

"you're going to end up alone." you chuckle, fiddling with your phone to turn off your music.

james is silent, so you go on, "i'm saying this from a place of love, but you're horrible at relationships. almost criminally bad at them." your finger points at him, mocking.

he glares at you, tousled curls falling into his eyes, "i am not."

you grin, "yes— you are."

he ignores you, plopping down onto your bean bag, "and still i get more dates than you," he pauses, muttering out, "brat."

"you do not!" you don't mean to, but your voice comes out childishly.

james finally rids himself of his frown, smirking, "fuck's sake, calm down." it takes everything in you to not pelt him with whatever's near you. he has such a chuck-worthy grin.

it was often that the two of you would have these petty disagreements. mostly due to the close proximity of sharing the same space, but sometimes, you honestly didn't understand why both of you were so worked up.

you get off of your bed and squat down to his level, "i'm so close to throwing you out."

he smiles, and lazily pulls you down with him, "i didn't mean it, don't be mad."

you narrow your eyes, despite the grin on your face, "you're temperamental, potter."

he chuckles, eyes now closed, "and you're wrong."

you hum, arm touching his, "about what?"

he looks at you, "'bout me. that i'm bad at relationships."

you almost laugh at him, because if there was one thing you knew as fact— it was that james had a ninety-nine percent fail rate.

so you're easily coy when you speak, "oh, then please, prove me wrong."

your tone is playful, but james' eyes make you pause. he looks eerily\ honestly, determined.

"with pleasure." he says simply.

you don't say anything after. not for a few moments. you try instead to ignore the strange tightness in your chest at his words. wordlessly, you rise from beside him and open up your closet door.

"what time is this reservation?" you ask, subtitling watching his face brighten.

james smiles, "you'll come?"

you shrug, "i'll never turn down money spent well."

he laughs, "and you think my funds are best spent on you?"

there's a mischievous glint in your voice, "aren't i always the best cause."

he feigns annoyance at you, but goes to leave your room so that you can change. as you watch him go, and note the way his dress shirt hugs the curves of his toned back. often, you’d catch yourself admiring him. it was silly, but despite your usual chagrin of him and his antics, you found him so beautiful.

you’re barely concentating on the clothes he's wearing now, thinking instead to the half-awake version of him from last night, wearing only his plaid boxers and leaning against the fridge, a glass of water in his hand, eyes half-lidded.

and then, the james you so often see after a shower. his face flushed, hair tousled, and towel always riding just low enough.

of course, you noticed him and you tried not to lie to yourself about it. you found him attractive, sure, but that was all. you knew there was nothing else there, and you’d be an idiot if you let your mind even think there was.

putting your fascination with him to the side, you scour your closet for something presentable. reaching the back of your closet before finding anything, a flowy little number you had apparently hidden from yourself for god knows how long. you inspect it, and slip it on once you decide that the small wrinkles at the bottom of the skirt are inconsequential.

you do your makeup in the bathroom, james butting in often to try and hurry you along, "how many coats of mascara more? can we please leave?"

you shush him each time until you're finally ready, "there— see? that didn't take so long did it?"

he rolls his eyes, "felt like bloody years."

you chuckle, opening the door for him, "i don't even think i reached an hour, you brat."

he jingles his keys in your face, his assortment of keychains slapping against each other, "play nice."

it's safe to say you do not 'play nice' for the entire duration of the car ride. you take immediate ownership of the radio instead, queuing all your favorite songs. james protests for five or so minutes before shaking his head with you and singing along.

the restaurant he's chosen is a suedo-modern fusion steakhouse— horribly expensive— and you can't help but feel a little out of place as you step inside. james, however, seems right at home. he greets the hostess by name and leads you to a private booth in the back.

as you sit down, you eye him, "what?" he asks, sipping his water.

"how often do you come here. i mean, they seem to know you." you're smirking, finding it quite funny.

james shrunches his face, "no, actually, my parents have insisted on eating here for my past six birthdays."

you hum, "i forget mommy and daddy are wealthy, you should really advertise it more. as an incentive." you're kidding of course, james reeked of rich kid. in the nicest way.

he gestures at you with his butterknife, "you think i haven't pulled that? c'mon honey i'm not completely daft."

you chuckle, taking a sip of your own water. watching as james continues, dwelling into a story about work. you've already heard it but you'd feel wretched to tell him. so, you listen, watching his brown eyes and strong use of his hands with each adjective used.

you've almost blocked everything but him from your sense when the waiter returns, placing down an appetizer you're sure the two of you didn't order.

you look to james, who's in the middle of placing his order. he sends you a wink.

you fumble through your own order, cursing yourself for not looking at the menu more thoroughly.

"do you even know what that is?" james asks when the waiter walks away.

you roll your eyes, "yes james, i'm well aware of the french word for fish."

he shrugs, "can't hurt to make sure." there's a pause, "d'ya like the wontons?"

your face morphs into a smile, "you ordered this?"

"yeah when i made the reservation, don't feel too special." he's got a shit-eating grin on his face, freckles more prominent in the overhead light.

you tease, "i'll remember this next time you're in need of my assistance."

he leans back, feigning innocence, "hey, i'm just trying to create a memorable dining experience."

the conversation continues to flow, easy and familiar. it doesn't surprise you, how comfortable you are with james, even when he's being his usual cheeky self. the food arrives, and you both enjoy the meal, trading bites and sharing stories. it's one of those moments when you forget about the world outside and just relish in the company of a friend.

as dessert arrives, james leans in a bit closer, his tone shifting to something more serious. "you know, i appreciate you putting up with my shenanigans. not just tonight, but all the time."

you raise an eyebrow, a playful grin on your face, "shenanigans? is that what you call your love life?"

he chuckles, but his gaze is sincere, "yeah, that and everything else. you've been there for me, and i don't say it enough, but i'm really grateful."

you feel a warmth in your chest at his words, and for a moment, the playful banter fades away. "you're not so bad yourself, potter."

he smiles, a genuine one this time, "i'd hope so."

an hour passes by, and you're both lost in conversation when you realize the restaurant is beginning to close up. with a sigh, you both gather your things and leave. the night air is cool as you step outside, and you find yourselves walking down the quiet streets back to his car.

as you stroll, james looks over at you, his expression soft, "you know, i might not be great at relationships, but i've always liked what we have. you're more than just a roommate to me, you're like my confidant, my partner-in-crime, and my closest friend."

you feel a flush of emotion at his words, a mix of happiness and something you can't quite put your finger on. "you too, potter. just don't let it get to your head."

he grins, slipping his hands into his pockets, "wouldn't dream of it."

the two of you continue your leisurely walk, the city lights casting a warm glow around you. it's a somewhat quiet night, but the silence is comfortable, the kind that comes from years of shared experiences and unspoken understanding.

as you approach the car, james stops and turns to you, his gaze searching yours, "you know, i might be awful at relationships, but there's one thing i'm certain of."

you raise an eyebrow, curious, "and what's that?"

he opens his car door, soft smirk on his face, "i'm pretty sure i've already found the best thing in my life."

your heart skips a beat, but your eyes roll, "smooth, potter. really laying it on thick."

he chuckles, a hint of nervousness in his eyes, "i mean it, though." he proceedes to give a light shrug before getting into the car.

you chuckle and follow him, "you're insufferable."

he smiles, turning to head to you, "you can say whatever you want, but you know deep down you love me."

you slide into the passenger seat and playfully roll your eyes, "maybe i just have a high tolerance for insufferable people."

james starts the car, and as he pulls away from the curb, he glances at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes, "ah, so you're admitting it now, are you?"

you laugh, shaking your head, "i said high tolerance, not undying affection."

he grins, focusing on the road, "well, that's progress, i suppose."

the drive back to your apartment is filled with lighthearted banter and comfortable silences. when you finally arrive, you both step out of the car and make your way to the entrance.

as you approach your apartment door, james turns to you, a playful grin on his face, "you know, i have another surprise for you."

you raise an eyebrow, curious, "oh really? and what might that be?"

he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small box, presenting it to you with a flourish, "ta-da! a box of chocolate-covered strawberries, your favorite."

you take the box with a surprised smile, "well, well, james potter, you're really pulling out all the stops tonight."

he chuckles, "just trying to prove that i'm not a lost cause in all things romantic."

you open the box and take a strawberry, popping it into your mouth with a satisfied hum, "i have to admit, this is a step in the right direction."

james grins, looking almost proud of himself, "i'll take what i can get."

you both head inside, and as you settle back into your apartment, you can't help but reflect on the evening. despite his usual antics and relationship mishaps, there's a side of james that you've come to appreciate more and more—a side that values your friendship and makes an effort to show it.

as the night winds down and you both prepare for bed, you find yourself sitting on your respective beds, sharing a comfortable silence. you glance over at james, who's focused on scrolling through his phone, and you can't help but feel a sense of contentment.

"hey, potter," you speak up, breaking the silence.

he looks up, raising an eyebrow, "yes, my dear roommate?"

you smirk, "you know, you might be onto something with this whole 'proving me wrong' thing."

he grins, setting his phone aside, "oh, am i winning you over, then?"

you shake your head, a teasing glint in your eyes, "let's not get ahead of ourselves. but maybe, just maybe, you're not as hopeless as i thought."

james leans back, looking satisfied, "i'll take that as a victory."

you both exchange smiles, and in that moment, you're reminded of why you agreed to be james potter's roommate in the first place. despite his esoteric personality, he's genuine and loyal, and always there to bring a smile to your face—even if it's through exasperation.

with a smirk you get up, making your way upstairs before calling out, "I'm free this Sunday, might as well give you a second date."

#james potter x reader #james potter #james potter x you #james potter x reader smut #james potter x reader fluff #james x reader #james potter one shot #james potter headcanon #young james potter #marauders era #marauders #the marauders era #the marauders #marauders headcanon #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter x y/n #james potter fanfiction

[sevensoulmates]

I've never been more convinced then I ever have of Buddie canon and I think we're about to get Buddie canon confirmed in the bachelor party/wedding episode.

I think these 2 episodes, 4 and 5. One told through Buck's the other told through Eddie's are clearly telling a story of two separate queer journeys. One of acceptance(Buck) and the other of repression(Eddie).

I think this episode is going to end with Eddie doubling down on his relationship with Marisol because Buck being bisexual is going to draw feelings inside of Eddie that he is absolutely terrified to explore and he thinks that being with a woman is just going to make those feelings that are getting stronger and stronger for Buck go away, they won't.

Then in episode 6 which is the Bachelor Party/Wedding episode, as Ryan said Eddie is going to let go, have fun and see where it takes him. When Ryan said that I have never been more convinced that something is happening between Buck and Eddie after the bachelor party and it's going to be something very non platonic that will be the reveal that Buddie is canon.

I'm very much inclined to agree with you, especially about episode 4 being Buck's journey of accepting his queerness, and episode 5 being about Eddie's journey of repression. Buck and Eddie have always been narrative parallels on equal and opposite journeys, both heading for the same place but going about it through very different personal arcs.

Like I've said before, I think things are going to get worse for Eddie before they get better. And I think you're so right that episode 5 is going to be things "getting worse" because he's going to double down on Marisol. The more I've been hearing and sussing out with people, it seems like Marisol's sticking around past episode 5 (which sucks, I know! We were all hoping!) but I can see why that choice is being made because unfortunately if we want to explore Eddie's comp-het, then we need a woman around for him to be comp-het with! I think that's likely why they also switched up on Marisol's personal style this season and had her go from tomboyish in s6 to very femme in s7. They needed to represent her being a little bit more of the "perfect woman" for Eddie again a la Ana Flores. Especially in contrast with Buck and Tommy who are very masc-presenting men.

Most of the time when people talk about compulsory heterosexuality in an academic space they are always talking about women because comphet is inherently a byproduct of patriarchy and misogyny. But, as most of us are aware by now, patriarchy has deep-rooted harmful effects on men too. I can't claim to be anywhere near an expert but I would love to see it explored deeper with Eddie given that a lot of his story has also revolved around him deconstructing other aspects of toxic masculinity and hypermasculinity.

Like does Eddie really enjoy going out with Marisol? Or does he like the freeing feeling of being able to cuddle up with a woman in public and know that no one is judging?

There's a lot of academic theory that goes into compulsory heterosexuality but if you look at the "Am I a Lesbian? Masterdoc" and apply everything there to Eddie, it's almost point for point him.

Some examples:

[brackets] are me turning "men" to "women" from the original text for clarity

Deciding which [women] to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to –based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities.

I like the idea of being with a [woman], but any time a [woman] makes a move on me I get incredibly uncomfortable.

I do not like the reality of being with [women], only the idea of being with [women].

I like the idea of marrying a [woman]/being in a relationship with a [woman], but I can always pick out a reason to not want to date any [woman] that is interested in me or any [woman] suggested to me

You view relationships with [women] as a chore, burden, or just something you must deal with.

Picking a [girl] at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a [girl] at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch

the [girls] I like are always hyper [feminine] [girl's girls] who embody everything about [womanliness].

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional [women] or [girls] you never or rarely interact with.

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around [women] as attraction to them. Confusing your anxiety around [women] for “butterflies” or being flustered.

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a [woman]

You have every reason to be happy in your relationship with a [woman], but you just aren’t / everything is going really well, but something is missing and you can’t figure out what

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the [girl], feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the [girl] wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with [girls], trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Your relationships with [women] are devoid of passion.

Feeling like you have to have relationships with [women] and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Getting a [girl]friend mostly so other people know you have a [girl]friend and not really being interested in [her] romantically/sexually

Wishing your [girl]friend was more like your [male] friends

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

That got longer than I intended but I wanted it here anyway because it just proves (at least to me) that this is the story they're doing with Eddie. The only ones I didn't include were the parts about sex because other than Shannon we actually haven't seen how Eddie reacts in sexual moments with women.

As for the bachelor party/wedding, I do think a lot is going to happen there, and likely a lot of Buddie clues, big and small, but I still don't think anything physically intimate (kiss, hookup, etc) is going to happen. The only exception might be hand-holding, a hug or like a slow dance. Those I could see being plausible.

#911 abc #911 speculation #eddie diaz #speculation #buddie speculation #buddie #comphet! eddie diaz #this was a lot more than you originally asked for but when my brain starts whirring it can't stop my bad

[rebeliz7]

NAIVE

Wanda Maximoff x Avenger Reader

Word Count: 3837

Warnings: Betrayal

Thank you Van (aka @missmonsters2) for helping me by editing this, way back in the day LOL. 

…

It starts with a light-hearted comment from Bucky. 

He and Wanda formed a tight friendship at some point after he was found. He's always been thoughtful and quiet in a way that Wanda found comforting. They were good at sitting in silence and coexisting without being alone, and sometimes that was all they needed. 

You were a friend, not as close as Bucky but equally supportive and protective. You've never spoken about it, but Wanda knew that she could count on you whenever she needed you, and you have yet to let her down. 

"Right?" Bucky asks, the grin on his lips suggesting he already knows the answer to his own question. Wanda swallows thickly, her eyes catching yours across the gym fleetingly. 

You look away quickly, though, something Steve says catches your attention and makes you laugh. 

"She's cute," she shrugs, and although Bucky decides to focus on something else, the strange feeling in her stomach remains for the rest of the day. 

…

She starts seeing you in a different light. Maybe it's Bucky's comment that made her very aware of your smile, but she's suddenly enamored by it and the sound of your laughter. 

"Hey, Wands, want some ice cream?" You ask her as she approaches the dining table, where Natasha and Kate are also sitting. 

"Sure." She smiles, hands in the back pockets of her jeans and feeling more than a little vulnerable. 

It takes her a hot second to recognize that she's nervous--nervous about being close to you or talking to you. 

"Take a seat, babes. How was your day?" You smile, scooping some ice cream and offering her a small bowl with a tiny spoon. 

The gesture is friendly, but she still feels special under your momentary attention. 

"It was fine." She says, more focused on the color of your eyes and the smile on your lips than the ice cream itself. 

"That's good." You tell her, and she doesn't know what to say to keep the conversation going--so she says nothing at all. 

You go back to talk to Natasha, and Kate wastes no time in butting in, and Wanda's just there. She doesn't feel exactly out of place, but she does feel a tad inadequate. 

She should be talking too, you're all friends, and she's always gotten along well with Kate and Nat. But the sound of your voice and the distracting way in which you smile continue to throw her. 

…

She notices you more and more. It's innocent at first. You're beautiful, and everyone in the Compound seems to have a crush on you, so she's not entirely put off by her growing interest. You're a nice person; everyone knows it. 

"What about you, Miss Y/LN?" Sam asks during a friendly game of poker. 

Steve and Tony have been implementing two or three activities every week, a way to get to know each other better. So far, there have been movie nights, hiking, camping, and now it's poker.

Friendship is important in a team such as ours, Steve's always saying, and Wanda is inclined to agree with him. 

"Don't start with me, Sam." You warn him with an amused grin on your lips that Wanda inexplicably wants to kiss. 

She looks away quickly, the thought having startled her a little. Where did that come from?

"You're bluffing." Sam calls you out, and Natasha laughs, her own poker face falling as she sets her cards on the table. She folds. 

"She's bluffing, right?" Sam asks her, making Wanda look at you again. 

You're keeping your cards close to your chest now, a single eyebrow raised in her direction. Wanda's stomach sinks. You're so beautiful, and she's entirely stricken by the realization as if it were the first time she's noticing. 

"I have no idea." She says, and you wink at her as if there was a hidden joke between the two of you, and she feels special. 

"Girl's whipped." Sam laughs, and that catches her attention. 

"What?" She asks as Natasha smiles in her direction. "I'm not whipped."

Tony makes a whip lashing sound, and everyone laughs, making Wanda blush where she sits. 

"Natasha is too." Steve says with a boyish grin. 

"So are you." She tells him with a pointed look, and his eyes instantly meet yours across the round table. 

You pay them no mind. Wanda is almost convinced that you're not even aware that they're talking about you, or you're simply not interested in giving this conversation any attention. 

"Stop stalling, pretty boy." You tell Sam, and he hums to himself, his eyes taking you in before he sighs and drops his cards. 

"I'm out." He says, and you smile. Everyone else claps their hands, Natasha squeezes your shoulders, and Wanda claps too, completely distracted. 

"Bluffing, you say?" You taunt him before showing your hand. 

"A royal flush, of course," Tony says with only a little bit of jealousy in his tone. He was the first to fold, and you continue to be the solid poker queen. No one's ever beaten you. 

"You've got to be kidding me!" Sam picks up your cards as you swipe all the chips with a pretty smile on your face. 

The night progresses as it usually does. Beers are being passed, jokes being told, there's a lot of laughter, and Wanda enjoys herself to an extent. There's a part of her brain that continues to remind her that she wanted to kiss you earlier, though.

But you're just--you're just you. Everyone tries to gain your attention or sit close to you. Everyone tries to please you in some capacity, including her. 

It's more than your looks, what has them all falling over their feet, more than the pretty smile you always have for everyone. It's everything that you are. 

You're smart in a way that always leaves Wanda speechless. You're clever and articulate, even when you're upset. You always find the right words to speak without hurting anyone's feelings but getting your point across all the same. You're open; there's an inviting quality about you that makes the team want to be your closest friend. 

But then, of course, you're also incredibly beautiful, so much so that compliments are always raining your way. 

"You doing okay?" You ask her, sitting next to her on the large couch, while Natasha attempts to show Bucky how to properly hold a ballet pose. 

Everyone's laughing, and she's suddenly very aware of her silence--since she can't think of a single coherent thing to say to you.

"Yeah." She nods her head, nervously glancing your way and her stupid brain reminding her that she wanted to kiss you earlier again. "You?"

"I'm quite well. Take a look—Sam's already about to fall asleep." You point towards the next couch, where Sam is dozing off, and Wanda laughs awkwardly. 

"Still a lightweight." She comments as you sip your beer, the same one you've been holding the entire night she's noticed. 

"You'd think being in the army and all that testosterone would teach a guy how to hold his liquor, but nope." You laugh, and she's once again taken by how beautiful you are. 

"Yeah." She tries to laugh, following your joke, but all she can think about is how nice you look in white. The shirt you have on is loose and definitely something you wear to sleep, but the color makes your skin glow in a way that she finds absolutely gorgeous. 

"Y/N, please come collect your kids." Tony calls you, and you roll your eyes as you give Wanda a look. 

She can do nothing but smile at your reaction, and you squeeze her knee before you stand up. 

"What's going on?" You ask Bucky, and he takes a step back from Natasha. Natasha moves lithely towards you and wraps her arms around your waist as if looking for protection from the big bad Winter Soldier. 

"She's mean. She's a mean drunk." Bucky says, pointing at Natasha. You push Natasha away from you a tad, if only to look into her eyes. Natasha's not drunk, though—she never gets drunk. 

"We agreed." You remind her while Wanda looks closely at the interaction. 

"I know, I'm sorry." Natasha deflects, and you turn to Bucky, a serious look on your face. 

"Fine, I'm sorry too. We'll behave." He says, and Tony laughs, as does Pepper. You have them, metaphorically, eating out of your hand. 

"Whipped," Pepper says, and Tony makes the same whip lashing sound right after. 

"Uh uh." Natasha shakes her finger at Bucky, her free arm going around your waist again. "I'm not into sharing."

You laugh, and Natasha does too. It's a joke, but the phrase doesn't sit too well with Wanda. 

Are you dating Natasha? 

…

The question stays with her for good—the thought of you too. 

It's like one day she wakes up and finds herself infected with you. You're the first thing she thinks in the morning, and once you're in her brain, you're there to stay. 

She goes about her daily routine and can't help but wonder if you're already up and what you're doing. She goes to the gym and can't help but wonder if she'll see you there. 

When you're not there, she can't help but feel a little disappointed. But her day moves quickly, as does everyone's in the Compound. There's training, meetings, debriefings, and more training. 

She feels exhausted by the end of the day and craves a shower more than she craves air itself. No one said being a hero wouldn't be hard after all. 

She's on her way to her room when someone calls her name, and her stomach instantly drops. The sound of your voice hits her in the pit of her stomach; it's a sensation she's never felt before and one that makes her feel nervous and awkward to an extent. 

"Want some pizza, Wands?" You ask with a smile on your lips and a slice of pizza in your hand. 

"I was gonna go take a shower. I'm feeling kind of gross." She says with an embarrassed smile, but you're already walking closer to her. 

"By the time you come back, there'll be no pizza left. Plus, you look fantastic!" You tell her, handing her the slice you're holding, and she takes it with a blush on her cheeks that she hopes you don't notice. 

"Thank you." She says, and you bump her shoulder in a friendly way, and she feels--well, she feels special. 

"Come on. I ordered some wings too, I know you love them. I'll share with my ladies."

You walk with her back to the kitchen, but by the time you both get there, the entire pizza is gone. The boys are happily chewing while Natasha and Kate watch the scene with a grimace. 

"Ladies, follow me." You announce as you walk behind the counter and pull out a take-out container from one of the lower drawers. 

"Life saver." Kate touches her chest before she leans forward to kiss your cheek, and Wanda takes a seat in silence. 

"These are my favorites," Natasha comments as she goes for a wing, and you do too. 

Wanda watches you take a bite, and she has to look away when the feeling in her stomach makes her feel so uncomfortable that she can barely stand it. 

"I know they are, hon," You tell Natasha while picking up a napkin and cleaning her chin, where a little bit of sauce has spilled. 

"Thank you," Natasha replies, winking in your direction, and Wanda's stomach sinks again for the reason that she refuses to overthink.

Not that her brain listens.  

…

You're the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up now, and it becomes an unconscious habit of sorts. The thought of you comes to her mind effortlessly, as easy as breathing and it always comes accompanied by the weird feeling in her stomach that makes her feel as if she can't breathe.

It's just a crush, she tells herself. You're definitely crushing material, and there's nothing wrong with her feeling this way. 

It's a crush, and it'll go away. 

…

The crush does the exact opposite of going away. 

You're everything she can think about, and she has no idea of how to get closer to you. 

It all changes one night, though. 

She can't sleep, and she decides to go for a walk, the Compound is big enough, and she's done it before. She's walked through every corner of it; she's come to know every hidden ladder that leads to the roof and Tony's secret wine cellar. 

But tonight, something's different, not that she can put her finger on what that is exactly. She takes the stairs down to the first floor, and the silence is what tips her off. 

As she walks through the main lobby, she realizes that Friday hasn't said a single word to her since she left her bedroom. Usually, Friday would be asking her questions by now, keeping her company.

Suddenly on high alert, she rounds the corner to the main security area, and she sees you. 

All the red alarms in her head are quickly replaced by that same feeling in her gut and chest. You're talking amicably with the tech guy that oversees the security systems overnight. 

You see her, and she comes to a halt in the middle of the wide-open lobby. You smile, and she feels like melting right where she stands. 

"Wands." You smile, walking towards her quickly. "What are you doing up? It's so late."

You're wearing combat boots and skinny jeans, a black top, and an open denim jacket--a look that she's never seen you wear before. She's certain that she's never seen you wear that top. 

"I was just--walking." She tells you, and you reach out to tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear. Your fingers graze her skin, making her shiver, and you notice. 

Of course, you notice, just like you've noticed every other single reaction she has towards you. 

"You mind if I join you?" You ask her, and she can barely breathe. 

She can't answer verbally, so she nods, and you caress her cheek with the back of your fingers as you pull back your hand. A subtle action that can definitely be taken as friendly. After all, you don't want to scare her, or worse, tip her off. 

"Are you cold?" You ask her after noticing she's only wearing an oversized shirt. 

She's still trying to get her breathing back to normal, the ghost of your touch still lingering on her cheek and preventing her from thinking straight. 

"I'm fine." She tells you after catching the look on your face and remembering that you asked her a question. 

"Here." You stop walking and take off your denim jacket. 

"It's okay, really." She tries to intervene when you move to drape the jacket on her shoulders. 

"I insist." You tell her with a smile that quite literally steals her breath away. "Denim suits you, Miss Maximoff."

You fix the collar of your jacket close to her chest, smiling as she blushes right before you. You're cute and beautiful, so beautiful that she can barely think, let alone speak. 

It's ridiculous! You shouldn't have this much power over her. You two aren't even that close, but the more she looks at you, the more her brain shouts things that she's never thought about before. 

She wants you happy. She wants to see you smiling. She'd like to know everything about you, everything that you're willing to share; she wants to know it. She'd like to go wherever you go, and she'd like to see the world from your perspective. 

You're still smiling as you admire your jacket on her, and she tilts her head to the side in a sign of endearment. You're so cute, and she can't stop staring. 

She'd never hurt you. She only ever wants to love you and take care of you. She doesn't know you that well, but she wants to, but the universe, it seems, is not giving her an option.

If you give her a chance, she'd make sure that you never regret it. 

"You okay there?" You ask her after a beat, and she swallows with difficulty. Her face burns with embarrassment, and she nods her head quickly. "How about that walk?"

You smile and offer your arm for her to take, and she nervously does. 

It's not long before you're telling her about your time as a rookie in S.H.I.E.L.D. and Melinda May kicking your ass daily as your S.O. She finds your journey so interesting that by the end of the walk, she knows the names of most of your friends at S.H.I.E.L.D.

That's the first night she sleeps with your jacket on. 

…

You begin to spend more time with her. She refuses to ask if you're dating Natasha, especially after you both act like a married couple.

She doesn't ask because the thought of you with someone else--guts her. If you were to tell her that you and Natasha are an item, she knows the feeling that would take over her--she knows the feeling all too well. 

And maybe she's being naive. Maybe the more time she spends with you, she's just opening herself up to more inevitable heartbreak. Whatever the reason, she doesn't want to cut the time the two of you have finally begun to spend together short. 

It doesn't matter anyway because even after Natasha joins whatever conversation you're having, you still make sure to stay by Wanda's side, and she feels, well, she feels special. 

…

The late-night walks become a regular thing. Wanda would meet you in the lobby, where you'd wait for her with a smile that seems to be reserved only for her. 

There are many times when she's almost told you everything she feels for you, but something always holds her back. She's afraid to lose you, and she doesn't want to gamble with your friendship. 

… 

You kiss her one night. One second she's greeting you in the empty lobby, and the next, you're kissing her. 

She loses her breath, her entire body tensed, and for a moment, she feels like she's freefalling. But she opens her eyes and finds your gentle stare on her, waiting for a verdict as if you'd done something wrong. 

"But Natasha?" Is the first thing out of her mouth, and you place your hands on her waist, pulling her a little bit closer to you. 

"She's just a friend." You tell her, and she chuckles, the smile on her lips threatens to split her face in two, and you think she might be the most beautiful woman you've ever gotten to kiss. 

She's certainly the most beautiful target. No doubt about it. 

…

She's in love with you, so much so that she's completely blind to things that you know she's been trained to see. 

…

Tony believes they've been infiltrated. Recently he's found a code on Friday that he's certain he didn't write himself. 

Everyone is on high alert, but things go on as they usually do. Tony rewrites the coding, and Wanda continues to fall for you. 

You take her out on dates, and Natasha keeps her distance, though she does glare playfully at Wanda from time to time. Now Wanda laughs at her antics, reassured by the way you're always touching her in some capacity. 

She becomes increasingly addicted to the way your hand finds a home in her lower back whenever you're close enough and the way your slender fingers move to delicately fill in the gaps between her own. She becomes a junky for your sweet kisses and the way your hands sneakily touch her bare skin under every shirt that she wears. 

You always look at her adoringly and chuckle before running your nose across her cheek as you kiss her face. She'd wrap her arms around you then and giggle at having you happy, which is all she ever wanted. 

Your late-night walks become a habit that always ends in her bedroom with her under you, moaning and groaning your name over and over again like a breathless prayer meant only for your ears. 

Each day that passes by gives her something else to fall for you, and she collects these moments, these aspects of your personality, like a treasure. She's never felt as safe as she does when she's with you. She's never loved as fiercely. 

"You trust me?" You ask her one night when you're knuckle deep in her, and her bottom lip is caught between her teeth. 

"Yes," she moans as you brush your thumb over her clit and her nails dig a little deeper on your shoulders. 

"You love me?" You ask her, adding pressure on her clit and sinking your fingers a little deeper. She yelps, her stomach tightening and her throat running dry. 

"Yes," she gasps as she pulls you down and kisses you a little bit desperately. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows that she's being too vulnerable, but she still feels safe with you. 

"You sure you trust me?" You ask her again, and the look in your eyes has an earth-shattering effect on her; it always does. 

She comes around your fingers with a strangled gasp of your name, and you kiss her lips one last time before you bend to pick up your phone from her nightstand. 

She's still catching her breath when you return to her side with a little pill between your fingers. 

"What's that?" She asks as you twirl the pill, and she scoots closer to you. Her lips kiss your face, her hands pull you closer. 

"I love you too, you know." You tell her, and she hides her face in the pillows, laughing and blushing, and you think she's the most beautiful woman you've ever slept with. 

The most beautiful target you've ever gotten. 

"Take this." You offer her the pill, and she looks at you with a little apprehension. 

"But what is it?" She asks. 

"You said you trust me." You remind her. 

"I do." She nods as you roll on top of her. 

For such a powerful being, she's still just a girl staring into the eyes of the first person she's ever loved like this. 

"Show me." You tell her.

… 

Leaving the Compound with Wanda in the middle of the night proves to be by far the easiest part of your entire mission. But pretending to look for her when you return? That is by far the hardest thing you've had to do when you know exactly where she is and who asked you to get her.

Eric assured you she'd be safe, and you know better than to question Magneto himself. She's no longer your concern.  

… 

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff

[void-wolfie]

We Had Matching Wounds. Mine's Still Black and Bruised.

summary: Jenna's still grieving after you walk out on her, but you've already moved on.

pairing: Jenna Ortega x gn!Reader

tw: angst, maybe depression(?)... not exactly sure, let me know if I need to add something

words: 960

a/n: thanks to the anon who suggested The Exit by Conan Gray... wrote this pretty late at night so it might be trash who knows lol

Jenna's apartment was a mess; clothes splayed across every surface, dirty dishes stacked a mile high, and a pile of laundry that hadn't been done in weeks. All in all, it was safe to say she wasn't ok, not by a long shot.

She had barricaded herself in her room long ago. Refusing to move unless it was absolutely necessary, which wasn't often. She'd drowned herself in one of your oversized hoodies and a nest of blankets. If she wasn't asleep or crying, she was staring blankly at the ceiling or mindlessly scrolling through her phone.

A notification popped up across her phone. She stared at the headline, thinking about clicking on it. The dull numbness that’d consumed her days gave way to heartache the longer she stared.

Y/N and pop singer Olivia Rodrigo officially confirm their relationship!

She was finally at a place where she wasn't gnawed away by guilt and heartache every second of the day, a sort of depressive numbness settling in. But she knew seeing you with a new girlfriend would crush her, making the reality of your breakup all too real, all the more final. But at the same time, curiosity was eating away at her. The hope that maybe it was clickbait or fake news was naively tugging at the back of her mind.

Against her better judgment, she clicked on the article.

Everyone says a picture is worth a thousand words. A thousand words wouldn't begin to cover the extent of pain Jenna was feeling.

There at the front of the article was a screenshot from your Instagram. A post of you and Olivia kissing, with the caption; Happy three months, love <;3.

She felt sick to her stomach. She probably would've puked on the spot had she actually eaten anything in the past two days.

Three months. Those words shattered her already fragile heart.

Three months... The two of you broke up only four months ago.

She could still remember the night it all went wrong, like a broken record stuck on repeat.

"y/n?" She called out, setting her stuff down on the kitchen table.

It was a miserable day, it'd been raining all day and thunder could be heard in the distance. The run from her car to the front door left her soaked from the cold rain.

"y/n?" She called out again, only to get no response.

She padded into your shared bedroom, her hair leaving tiny water drops across the tile floor as she shivered in her wet clothes.

She stopped in her tracks. There was a suitcase on the bed full of your stuff, and you were packing more in.

"What's going on?"

"I'm leaving." You didn't spare her a glance, you knew if you did you'd only be inclined to stay. Those big brown eyes of hers would always be your weakness.

"Leaving?" You weren't leaving her, were you? Sure your relationship had been on the rocks as of late, countless arguments and nights spent yelling. But had it really gotten this bad?

"I can't do this anymore, Jenna."

"Do what?"

"This. Us." You closed the suitcase, zipping it up, still refusing to look at her, "The arguing, the late nights coming home, always feeling like your second choice. I just can't do it anymore."

You finally looked at her, seeing tears streaming down her freckled face. It broke your heart, but you had to protect yourself. Even if that meant breaking her.

"Do you even know what it feels like Jenna? To feel like your second choice? You come home late every other night, you're gone for months at a time, and you lie about who you're with and where you go. Do you even remember the last time you said ‘I love you’?"

"I..." She wanted to refute everything you'd said, but she couldn't. She couldn't remember the last time you had a movie night together or even ate dinner at the same table. She couldn't remember the last time she said those three words.

You had tears of your own streaming down your face, "3 months ago. You haven’t said it in three months."

Jenna was in a stupor. Her whole world was crumbling before her, and she was lost on how to fix it.

How had you moved on so quickly? It felt like only yesterday she was so deep in love, falling into a black hole of bliss with only you on her mind. She thought you felt the same, and maybe you did. But you'd already replaced her. With one of her friends, no less.

Jenna skipped reading the article. She didn't want some reporter's half-assed observations and opinions on your dating life. They didn't know you, and she could care less about their opinion.

She clicked over to Instagram, despite her shaking hands and teary eyes, and tortured herself with your latest post.

You looked happy. There were all kinds of pictures of you and Olivia together. Pictures of you two dancing in the rain, swimming at the lake, even one at that club she never had the time to take you to. Not to mention the abundance of candid photos fans had tagged the two of you in. Pictures of the two of you kissing, the two of you visiting that little ice cream shop by the beach, some at that little cafe by your house that had your favorite coffee.

To say it was agony was an understatement. There weren't words for her pain. She could never effectively describe the heartache that left her crying for hours on end, breathless and shaky from the exertion.

It hurt knowing she carved out her own heart for you and in the end, her downfall was her own doing.

You already found someone to miss, while I'm still standin' at the exit.

#jenna ortega x fem!reader #jenna ortega x gn!reader #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #jenna ortega imagine #void-wolfie

[jettithink]

txt - a night out at the club

where the introverts somehow find themselves in the middle of a dance floor + cw: drinking/alcohol, a sprinkle of angst in taehyun's, dissociation/derealization in hyuka's, a little suggestive if you use your imagination, idk we're just having a good ol' time + this is my first writing i'm sharing on tumblr, so be nice and i'll write more + mood: Love On The Floor - NCT 127, Upper Side Dreamin' - Enhypen, bOss - OnlyOneOf

Choi Soobin: It definitely wasn't Soobin's idea to go out, but a few of your friends invited you to a new club that opened up not far from your apartment, and he just so happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time to get dragged along with. Aside from being shy, the loud music and mass of people was intimidating, and it took more than his courage alone to bring him out onto the floor where you were already dancing. He wasn't entirely uncomfortable though. A lot of his enjoyment came from standing on the sidelines, watching you. Soobin had a few girls approach him with drinks, but he respectfully declined. As you two made eye contact and smiled at each other, he knew in his heart who he really only had eyes for. "Soob, come on!" Though the place was loud already, your voice carried above everyone else's, and your hand was leading him to the friend group before he could even decline. But for you, he wouldn't put up much of a fight anyways. Thanks to the alcohol in his system, Soobin was swaying to the music without much thought, and the two of you soon found yourselves paying much more attention to each other rather than the people in your surroundings. You both swore up and down that you're just friends, yet you knew the heat on your face wasn't just from dancing. Things carried on this way for a while, and the second that Soobin broke away from the group, your friends hounded you to make a move. "Dude, are you even seeing how he's looking at you?" "He definitely likes you, just go for it!" "If you don't tell him how you feel, I will." A chorus of slurred words of encouragement pushed you to act only slightly out of character, and when Soobin returned to your posse, you once again grabbed his arm and led him to the dead center of the dance floor, catching a glimpse of your girls giving you thumbs ups and winks on you way there. Soobin's eyes lit up with surprise at your sudden decision to abandon the group. "Will your friends be okay by themselves?" he questioned, leaning in close to your ear, but it would be a lie to say he wasn't just looking for an opportunity to get close to you. You two had been friends for a long time, and with the way his eyes grazed over every inch of your face, you could read his intentions easily. To know Soobin was to know his intent through what was unspoken, and those silent inclinations were what led you to wrap an arm around his neck and speak back to him, "I think we're the ones to be worried about," before mutually meeting each other's lips amidst the heat of the moment and the bodies moving around you to the intoxicating beats.

Choi Yeonjun: Celebrating your two year anniversary was a highly anticipated event. Knowing your it boy boyfriend, Yeonjun would be dressed no less than to the nines, and because you loved to match his competitive spirit, it was only courtesy to try and outdo him. At the end of the day, however, you both spared no efforts in hyping each other up and letting you confidences shine. "Damn, baby, you want me to spend all night keeping everyone off of you?" Staring would be too light of a word to describe the way you looked at him. He opted for a black ensemble to let his freshly dyed hair and accessories shine, and despite seeing him nearly every day, he always found new ways to leave you speechless. He chuckled at your rhetorical question. "You're one to talk, look at you! Absolutely stunning," Yeonjun took every inch of you in as he bit his lip to hold back a subconscious smirk. He grabbed your hand and led you to the car, holding it open for you just to have the opportunity to leave a little tap on your butt. The ride to the private club wasn't long, but gave the two of you plenty of time to share the aux, sing together and steal quick kisses at red lights. To celebrate your anniversary, Yeonjun opted to take you to an exclusive speakeasy-inspired club for a quiet dinner and a live jazz ensemble, which could be heard even from the outside as you pulled up to the valet. Lights were warm and low voices were buzzing around you as you were ushered to a table to dine on the most delectable cuisine. Being the two lovebirds that you are, you fed each other bites and took pictures, enjoying a tame evening. That is, until the wine started to kick in. Yeonjun, of course, wanted to dance. The trumpet player by the bar was someone you both knew well, and your boyfriend was pursing his lips and swaying his hips to the music, grooving along with the melody coming from the horn. You were content standing off to the side cheering him on, but Yeonjun approached you before long with his hand reaching out to you. "May I have this dance, beautiful?" He asked humbly, raising an eyebrow and giving his best smolder look, a look you could never in a million years say no to. With a buzzed smile, you accepted his hand in yours and let him lead you to the open dance floor, giving the trumpet player a look. With that, the tune changed. A gorgeous jazzy melody played, one you recognized as a rendition of one of your favorites. Yeonjun held you close, rocking you back and forth in a slow dance. His hands rested gently on your waist, letting the feel of the song and the wine in his system guide you around the dance floor. As he spun you around, your eyes caught glimpses of older couples dancing with you, and you couldn't help but think of how beautiful a long life together with your boyfriend would be. Two years down, with forever to go.

Choi Beomgyu: "I have a funny idea... let's leave." This was your first time meeting Beomgyu. You had heard plenty about him from mutual friends, who you suspected were trying to set you up, and now he was walking into the bar with two friends you both knew. The introductions were pleasant, and after a few drinks, you two hit it off extremely well. He had you laughing the entire time, and seemed to never run out of energy no matter how much your group was dancing. "What? But it's my own birthday party," you questioned in between giggles. "Don't you think people will notice if I'm gone?" And though you were playing hesitant, in all honesty you were no where near opposed to getting out with him. Beomgyu leaned closer, taking his plan far too seriously. "That's why we have to sneak out." He peeked his head up, eyeballing your friends who were still hanging by the bar while the two of you had naturally made your way close to the exit. "Look, we have a chance. Let's go!" Before you had even fully agreed, his large hand was grasping yours, leading you into the night. ***

Driving with Beomgyu was different from drinking with him. He was still himself, but he was more relaxed. Content. You were taking turns picking songs, and though his music taste wasn't what you would normally listen to, you found plenty more songs to add to your playlists. He was singing under his breath while you drove to a fast food place just outside of the city. You could faintly smell his cologne, and periodically peeked over at him while he scrolled through his phone and gently bopped his head along to the music and chatting with you. Despite his dark clothes he chose to wear to the bar for your birthday, he looked... soft. Unbeknownst to you, he was catching glances at you, too. "We're going through the drive thru, by the way. I don't feel like going inside," you stated, pulling to the side of the restaurant. "But how am I gonna see the menu?" Beomgyu asked with a pout. You shrugged. "Figure it out. This was your idea." "Alright," was the only warning you got before you felt a sudden pain in your leg. His genius solution was to climb over you in the driver's seat to get a better view of his options, and to speak into the microphone to the worker. You wanted to push him off to alleviate the pressure from his elbow in your thigh, but decided not to cause a ruckus. At least, not while he was in the middle of ordering. After he was done, Beomgyu offered an apology in the form of paying for both of your meals, and you sat in the parking lot talking and losing track of time. Eventually, your friends called, too drunk to be mad that you left your own birthday get together, and you drove your new friend home, making sure to tell that next time, he was driving.

Kang Taehyun: You didn't know it at the time, but he had his eyes on you from the moment you set foot in the door. It wasn't typical for you to go out by yourself, but getting over a nasty situationship led you to act in plenty of ways you normally wouldn't. You weren't out looking for love, or even much excitement, but striking up conversation with the bartender was far better than continuing your recent trend of rotting away on your couch. Her brown eyes adorned a kind smile as she explained her favorite drink, her voice carrying over the music on the far end of the bar. You agreed to try the concoction she prepared, instructing her to put the bill on your tab. With that, she left you with your drink, freeing up your attention to direct it towards someone across the room. Despite his relatively small frame and dark clothes, you could see the silhouette of arms and shoulders one could only attribute to working out, and a cutting-edge jawline to match. As you sipped your drink, you swear you catch him looking your way, but you knew better than to let yourself be hopeful. He leans over to a friend, spoke in his ear, and then walked out of sight. You sat for a while longer, feeling the energy in the room and people watching. As you turned to set your now empty glass on the counter, you feel a presence next to you. It was an admittedly handsome man, but not the one you had your eye on from before. "You out by yourself, gorgeous? Let me buy you something." You could smell the alcohol laced in his breath, and whatever it was was strong. "Ah, no thanks, I was just about to head out," you explained, already hearing a voice in the back of your head warning you he wasn't going to let you get away so easily, and you were proven right as he slipped an arm around your waist. "Don't be like that. One more drink won't kill you," he cooed at you with a patronizing tone, triggering a shiver from your brain, down your back, and to your hand that was instinctively grabbing for your keys for protection. This wasn't your first time with an unpleasant man, but never had you felt someone grab at you. It was sickening. As you attempted to talk your way out of the situation, you hear a voice coming from behind the handsy guy. "Where are you going with my girlfriend?" And there he was. The beautiful stranger from across the room. His arms were much larger up close, but his blank stare was more intimidating than any menacing look he could have mustered up. You were so focused on his sudden appearance, it took more than a second to even recognize the words he just said, but it seemed the persistent asshole realized his mistake right away. Practically throwing you at your "boyfriend," he slurred out a cocky apology with his hands up in defense. "Sorry man, she didn't mention any boyfriend to me." "Didn't really give me a chance to, man," you shot back, confidence suddenly surging now that you were in good hands. Your retort earned a small chuckle from your savior as the snake slithered back into the darkness of the dancefloor. Only then did you let a sigh of relief out. "Thank you so much, um..." "Taehyun." Finally being able to put a name to his gorgeous face brought a smile to yours. "Nice to meet you Taehyun, or should I call you my boyfriend?" And both of you laughed, ending the night on a more positive note than what could have been. He ended up walking you to your car, and leaving you his number in case you needed any more pretend boyfriend services.

Huening Kai: There wasn't a chance in hell you could convince Huening Kai to go out with you. He adored you more than anything, but he much preferred his Saturday nights spent lounging on the couch with pizza less than an arm's length away. Being the cuddly homebodies you are, this was what most of your days off consisted of, a date of sorts you typically were happy to entertain, but your childhood friend invited a group to go out to celebrate getting a long-awaited promotion at work. If it was anyone else asking you may have turned it down, especially since your boyfriend was uncomfortable with being out so late, but they meant the world to you and practically begged. "Keys...phone...wallet..." you filtered through your mental checklist as you heard your friend's car pull up outside. "Okay, Kai, I gotta go!" You called out. When you walked past the TV in the living room, he stopped you to say goodbye, wrapping you in a warm hug with a content yet hesitant smile. "If anything happens, call me, okay? But have fun, too," he reassured you before letting you go. Kai was far from being the protective type, but because you hardly went out, and much less so for drinking and partying, his worries were prevalent in his words and facial expression. It was your turn to reassure him with a big smile that matched his. "I promise I'll be safe." A short honk from outside told you it was time to go, and Kai snuck a in a bashful compliment and one last squeeze of a hug before watching you walk to your friend, driving off into the night.

*** Your friends were having a blast. They were dancing and drunkenly carrying on, and took your word that you were doing okay too. Truth be told, however, the lights were getting to be too bright, the volume of the room was growing far past a roar, and your body was crawling with the tingly feeling. You were no stranger to having drinks, but the congested environment triggered the shut off switch in your brain. Dialing your boyfriend's number and uttering just his name alone felt as strenuous as moving a mountain would be, but it was all he needed to hear before bolting out the door to get you home. Huening Kai didn't need any words from you. He stayed on the phone and comforted you the entire drive over, and wasted no time in finding you by the bar, throwing an arm around you, and leading you towards the door. The crisp fresh air of the night immediately helped to bring you back to reality as Kai helped you into the car and did grounding and breathing exercises with you. Once you became more present back at home in the comfort of your own bed with Kai next to you, you reached out for his hand and gave it a thankful squeeze. Words still failed you, but the gentle kiss on your forehead in response told you he understood completely.

#jetts thoughts #jetts works #tomorrow x together #txt #txt fics #txt scenarios #txt x reader #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #hyuka #txt imagines #txt fic #txt fluff #txt imagine

[flowercrowngods]

of snow angels, ridiculousness, and the liberating breathlessness of falling in love with robin buckley

There's insistent knocking on the front door that draws Nancy's attention away from the book she's been sucked into for the last three hours.

"Coming!" she calls, moving the blanket from around her shoulders and rushing down the stairs. The knocking only gets more insistent and louder, and Nancy calls again, "I am coming, geez!"

If this is Mike who forgot his keys, again, she's going to ask Steve for the nail bat to whoop his ass like Erica has suggested a couple times already.

But when she opens the door, it's not Mike standing there. It's a very adorable, very excited-looking Robin, her hair and jacket covered in thick white snowflakes. When exactly it started snowing, Nancy doesn't know, but the streets are white.

And so is Robin.

Robin, who's grinning at her, swaying back and forth on her feet.

"It's snowing," is all she says, and Nancy wants to roll her eyes, because obviously, but all she can do is chuckle, feeling a bit breathless.

"Y-yeah, looks like it is, huh?"

"Snow, Nance!" Robin is laughing, her excited rocking almost turning into little jumps on the spot now, the same way Dustin does when he's overly enthused.

"It's winter, Robbie, that's bound to happen, you know?"

The nickname slips past her tongue before she can rein it in, and Nancy feels her cheeks heat up. She smiles, because that's what happens when Robin is there, and leans against the doorframe – partly to keep herself from reaching out and taking Robin's hand in hers like she's been longing to do.

It's crazy and Nancy doesn't really know what to do with it. This fluttering inside her chest, this inability to stop smiling, and – most importantly – this readiness to just follow Robin anywhere. Not just physically, but mentally. Robin's thoughts are all over the place most of the time, but still Nancy wants to follow them, wants to understand, wants to share with Robin the way she sees the world.

Nancy has always loved exploration and knowledge, has always valued facts and arguments and discourse and all those things that make stupid people roll their eyes in exasperation and impatience. But never Robin. She will engage with Nancy's hunger for knowledge, will support it, will spend hours in the library with her, smiling and bringing Nancy books upon books, even if they will stray from their original mission because Robin got excited over one thing or another, and then it's Nancy who indulges with a smile on her face.

They follow each other, and they do it with soft smiles, gentle massages if they've been stuck in one position too long, and patience. Curiosity. Trust.

It's new. It shouldn't work – and it didn't, in the beginning ­– but it does. Miraculously, wonderfully, it does. Miraculously, wonderfully, Robin's excitement sparks a giddiness in Nancy that she can only compensate by letting out a breathy laugh. 

That only makes Robin grin all the brighter, and Nancy feels dizzy with it.

"Come and make snow angels with me. Dingus is busy, he has betrayed me and I'll make him pay by making the mightiest of all snow angels! And you're gonna join me."

Nancy's cheeks are starting to ache from smiling so much, but still she keeps at it. She crosses her arms in front of her chest and inclines her head.

"Oh, am I now?"

"You are in fact, Lady Wheeler," Robin says in that voice of hers. That stupidly endearing voice. "You're going to put on your coat and that floofy pink wooly hat that Steve crocheted for you the other week, and you're gonna join me on this adventure."

They look at each other for a moment or two, the snow keeps falling, covering Robin in white flakes that look so good on her, that make her look so young, so carefree. So beautiful.

See, beautiful is not usually a word that Nancy associates with the other woman. Smart, yes. Adorable, infuriating, endearing, really fucking amazing, sure. But lately, Nancy has started to put beautiful up there on the shelf of Robin Words inside her mind.

Before she knows it, captivated by the ethereal beauty of Robin covered in snow, waiting patiently, the entirety of her absolutely breathtaking attention solely on Nancy, she reaches up and brushes a strand of Robin's hair back behind her ear.

"Uhm." 

The excitement and giddiness make way for something different and Nancy watches as Robin's face falls slightly. It does that sometimes when she looks at Nancy for a bit too long and Nancy looks back. When they share something personal that makes the air sizzle or heavy between them.

And every time Nancy forgets how to breathe.

"I'll be right back," she says, her voice no more than a whisper, before she whirls around and all but slams the door shut behind her. She leans against it for a second, catching her breath and clenching her eyes shut. "Get it together, Wheeler!" she hisses at herself.

But eventually she does grab her coat, puts on her new hat that Robin keeps commenting on, and grabs some matching woollen gloves. When she opens the door, Robin is still outside, but her grin has made way to a more tender smile. She's made no move to free her hair from the snow, and Nancy has to bite her tongue on the remark that she's gonna catch her death like that. Because snow looks too good on her, and Nancy apparently likes to watch now.

"Well, let's go then, Lady Buckley," she says and pulls the front door closed behind her.

Robin immediately offers her arm for Nancy to link with, which she promptly accepts.

"Oh, I'm no lady," she says, taking Nancy down her driveway and onto the street, leading her away from home. "I'm a knight who tricked the king in a game of wits. I'm gonna be head of the royal guard one day, actually."

Nancy smiles down at the white ground, her heart fluttering at Robin's antics. Of course she's a knight, not a lady, and of course she says it in such a matter-of-fact voice that there's not a hint of doubt to it.

"Let me guess, the king is Steve."

"Please," Robin scoffs. "The king is Erica, who's tricking the entire kingdom into believing Steve has any say here."

Nancy laughs at that and sobers only when Robin joins her. Sobers because it's quite breathtaking to see Robin joking and making up stories so easily, laughing in a manner so carefree it's liberating.

Robin is always liberating. Nancy has never met someone like her, has never felt like she does around Robin. Never dared. Never followed anyone as lightly as she does with her.

At night, when the hours on the clock aren't real anymore, stuck in the void between 2am and 5am, Nancy feels like she has uncovered one of life's great mysteries when she's with Robin. Or maybe Robin has discovered it simply by existing and being herself. By being Steve's soulmate.

But Nancy gets to witness it, gets to exist in Robin's orbit, gets to follow her wherever she leads, gets to explore and experience life through Robin's eyes and hands and words. There is always sense to her ramblings, and it's usually deeper than she lets on at first, but it always captures Nancy in a way that no one ever has before.

Like now, when Robin lets go of her arm and takes Nancy's gloved hand in hers, leading her down a trail and into the forest. She's sure that Robin isn't even entirely aware of how tight their grip is, but Nancy only laughs as she follows, hiding the way she squeezes Robin's hand by feigning a stumble here and there. Robin's grip is secure and unrelenting, and Nancy feels safe.

"We always used to go here when I was little, because my mother said that the angels are always in the woods more than around the houses, and so they'd find my snow angels better if they were here than in my backyard. Granted, that didn't stop me from essentially digging over our yard in my clumsy attempts at making snow angels first thing in the morning, but mother just left me to it and made hot choc– Oh shit!"

Robin stops abruptly and whirls around to Nancy, still not letting go of her hand.

"I should have made hot chocolate! Because we're gonna be freezing so hard when we're done. I'm so sorry, Nancy, next time I'm gonna bring hot chocolate!"

Next time. Nancy isn't even entirely sure what's gonna happen, but the thought of a next time makes her heart jump somehow. So she brings her hands up to Robin's shoulders and keeps her still.

"Next time," she says, smiling gently at the ball of nerves that is Sir Robin of Buckley, royal knight to the kingdom.

"Next time," Robin confirms and calms down. "Next time. Good, yes, perfect." She looks around at the untouched snow in the clearing they have reached and then looks back at Nancy with an almost manic grin. "Let's make some snow angels, Lady Wheeler."

"Sure," Nancy laughs, everything inside her tingling in the face of that look on Robin's face. "I'm guessing this is as good a time as any to tell you that I've honestly never made a snow angel before."

And Robin is gaping at her. Appalled, horrified, positively flabbergasted! Nancy wants to kiss it away, but all she does is turn away with what can only be called a giggle. Nancy Wheeler is not someone who giggles! She hasn't since sophomore year of high school! Leave it to Robin Buckley to resort her to all those confusing things again, but in a softer way than boys ever have.

Maybe that's what it's like to like a girl. Soft. Easy. Tentative and yet so sure. The air filled with a kiddy kind of patience and a patient kind of giddiness that makes you want to take her hand more than it makes you want to kiss her.

Maybe. She never asked. But it's definitely what it's like to like Robin Buckley. Maybe she's special like that, too.

"I'll show you how to make a snow angel, Nancy Elizabeth Wheeler the twenty-third, and if it's the last thing I do!" Robin declares, and Nancy sputters at the ridiculousness of the name. Robin only grins back, obviously proud of herself. God, Nancy wants to kiss her stupid and then do nothing but hug her in the snow.

And so Robin shows her. They lie down in the snow beside each other, their eyes meeting, their arms spread out. Robin reaches for her hand, linking their fingers slowly, oh so slowly that it sort of takes Nancy's breath away. She wants to learn. Not only how to make a snow angel, but also how to hold Robin's hand in a way that makes her feel safe, too. Warm. Wonderful. Giddy.

All those urgently soft things that Nancy is feeling right now.

Gently, slowly, Robin moves their linked hands up until they can't hold each other's eyes anymore, the sight obstructed by linked hands on glittering white powder. It's Nancy who moves their hands down, farther than where they started, all the way until they'd have to let go.

"Yeah," Robin rasps when they still again. "That's how you do it. You move your arms up and down to create the wings, and then your legs to make the dress."

Nancy smirks, moving their hands in the motion Robin suggested, her other arm joining in, but her legs still. "What if my angel is actually a royal knight who tricked the king and will be head of the royal guard one day?"

She's flirting. And even though Robin's cheeks are red from the cold, she could swear they flush even further.

"Knights can wear dresses, too."

"Mm-hm. This one feels better like this, though," Nancy argues, her smile softening. "They look better like that, too."

Robin hesitates for a second, her breath hitching, before she comes up to lean on one arm, hand still linked with Nancy's.

"Ridiculous angel, huh?"

Nancy feels dizzy with the way Robin looks at her, that heaviness back to her gaze, a certain importance that looks a lot like the urgent softness and soft urgency Nancy's been feeling since Robin came knocking on her door.

"Absolutely infuriating angel," she agrees, feeling rather breathless. "Ridiculous. Stubborn enough to turn entire worlds on their head, and endearing enough to get away with it."

Robin huffs, looking down for a moment as if in an attempt to hide her face. Nancy can't quite breathe or track her own mind, but that's fine because all she wants to focus on is Robin.

That's another wonderful feature about her. Nancy's mind is very loud very often, but not in the same way that Eddie's or Steve's or even Robin's are. It's loud with responsibility, with the need to control, to explore, to figure out, to solve.

Robin gets her to quiet down. Gets her to focus on something other than that.

Something less to do with Nancy Wheeler and the world, and everything to do with Robin Buckley and the universe. Life. In a different way than what can be captured and expressed with science and reason and words.

That was what's drawn Nancy in, and that's what's keeping her.

It's what makes her shift her hold on Robin's hand so they're holding onto each other more securely.

"What?" she's whispering when Robin doesn't move for a while, and it's quiet enough not to burst the bubble of heaviness they find themselves in.

"Nothing." Robin shakes her head and then lets herself fall forward into the snow, her head inches away from Nancy's. Their hands, still linked, are now resting on Robin's stomach. "The ridiculous angel is just a mess."

Nancy's heart is fluttering at Robin's proximity and her breathy voice so, so close. She turns lightly, lying on her side in the snow, her other hand landing between them. They're so close she can smell Robin's scent of laundry detergent, books, Steve and something much sweeter.

"How?" she asks, just as breathy as Robin.

There's a huff of breath and Nancy can see that Robin's eyes are closed. "Because the ridiculous angel is ridiculous enough that… that they can't stop thinking about… someone. And think that there might be something there. Something more. With that someone."

"Someone," Nancy says, smiling still, and Gods, she feels so inebriated with it. "Why's it ridiculous to like that someone?"

"It's not ridiculous to like that someone. It's a law of nature, actually, to like that someone. She's, like, the smartest, prettiest, most badass gir– someone out there. It's just ridiculous to think that they would like the angel back. It's ridiculous to think that they'd like how much the angel dreams about taking their hand and holding it as they kiss. How much the angel thinks about holding them. It's all the angel, the ridiculous, infuriating angel can think about. The angel is actually a crazy person, you see."

"I see," Nancy breathes, her smile so wide, so painful that she wonders briefly if it should at all be possible to smile so wide. But she does. Because Robin still has her eyes closed. Because Robin is a crazy person. And so is Nancy.

Crazy. Absolutely batshit. Gone for the angel.

"Robbie?"

"Yes?"

"Can you look at me?"

"Why?" She sounds like a toddler, her question more a refusal than a complaint, and it makes Nancy laugh. Crazy.

"Please?" And Nancy knows no one can resist her pouty voice. Robin herself has told her so.

It works. Robin opens those pretty eyes of hers and Nancy hopes that one day she'll get her breath back. They look at each other for a moment, two, three, and then Nancy moves her free hand up to Robin's cheek, gently stroking the hair back from her eyes.

And then she whispers, because she's still out of breath, because she doesn't want to spook Robin, and because she doesn't want to burst their bubble. She isn't ready yet for the world to hear. Only Robin. Only Robin. "None of that is ridiculous."

It takes a moment, but then understanding dawns in those eyes and Nancy is falling and falling and falling. That smile catches her, though.

"It's not?"

"It's not."

A beat. 

"Shit," Robin breathes, and then they're laughing again, leaning into each other with it until their foreheads are touching, the snow making way for every confession, every touch, every possibility.

"Nance," she whispers once they've calmed down again. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yeah."

And so they kiss in the embrace of the snow angels they've made, half covered by snow, secluded and safe from the world so ready to judge. It's just them. And Nancy finds that kissing Robin Buckley feels just as right as saving the world with her, just as right as following her into the library, into the forest, into the depths of her mind.

She never wants to stop.

written for @thefreakandthehair's spicy six winter fic challenge. the prompt: “I’ve honestly never made a snow angel before.” 🤍 thank you for creating this event/challenge! 🤍

#ronance #robin x nancy #nancy x robin #ronance fic #nancy wheeler #robin buckley #stranger things #dio words #this is my first ronance idk if this is okay. Nancy is a bit strong on the introspection in this one but eh it happens #she has a lot of thoughts okay? #sapphic love is soft and so are they. I hoped to convey that #go check out the collection on ao3 and read people's works (or click the tag to read on tumblr #lexswinterficchallenge #might post this to ao3 when it's not 3.17am lmao

[istadris]

lm3 seducer luigi au? 👀

@brendathepeep you're to blame for half of the ideas here.

This is going to be a LONG one, so brace yourself!

First Luigi's Mansion : E.Gadd met Luigi by pure luck, and he was willing to go through the house and capture ghosts while looking for his brother. Everybody wins ! But as he monitors Luigi, he notices that the guy isn't just a good ghost hunter. He draws ghosts ! In a very specific way, dare he say.

Dark Moon : the Evershade Valley is a good place to study ghosts and even obtain answers from them, and that's where E.Gadd starts to realize, oh. oh. Ghosts don't just want to scare Luigi, they're attracted to him. He's basically a walking aphrodisiac. So when the ghosts escape, E.Gadd doesn't hesitate : ghosts are less agressive when horny (usually), and Luigi is a good enough ghostbuster to justify calling him.

E.Gadd intended to tell Luigi about it ! He absolutely did ! But how do you explain to your assistant "oh there is an explanation to why ghosts always harass you" ?

Especially when he's running for his life! And he kept forgetting once the menace was dealt with.

He still tried to harness (or even just figure out) that weird power Luigi has but accidentally made a goo clone. Alas, while Gooigi does attract ghosts, he's not sturdy enough for further examination. After Gooigi reforms from a ghost spilling fluids (not necessarily their own) on him : "dang it, it seems I will need Luigi's consent on this matter after all"

Luigi's Mansion 3 : when Helen invites E.Gadd, she asks him a lot of questions,and some of then are about his assistant. " My, how brave of him to face such dangerous ghosts, how did the poor man survive ?" "Why, I shouldn't probably talk too much about this, but I trust you to not gossip. You see, my dear boy Luigi has quite the surprising talent ..."

(Suggestive content + spoilers for Luigi's Mansin 3 under the read more, you have been warned)

Helen's plan to capture Luigi totally involved to seduce him and lure him away from his family, but our boy's too oblivious for that and fell asleep right after getting to his room. Helen, after waiting for an hour and realizing her sultry pose and hints didn't work, decided to fall back on a simple "grab the rest of the posse and hide"

LM3 starts like in the game with Luigi falling asleep and waking up to things going apeshit, with Helen ans King Boo showing up, and King Boo chasing after Luigi and cornering him at the end of the corridor. Luigi is terrified of course...but fear and arousal have always crossed wires in his brain. Especially with ghosts. Oh, they terrify him, and yet when King Boo presses down on him, he's also hard as a brick, awfully aroused...which KB notices in his aura (and then the tent in his overalls). And he can now attest that the rumours about Luigi's aura being very attractive are true.

KB is very, very amused and tests further this inclination, and smut ensues...and because he wants to make the chase last and to drive Luigi to his limits, afterwards, King Boo all but pushes Luigi down the laundry chute while challenging him to come and get his friends back, but only if each of the floor's main ghosts find Luigi to their liking. And of course he'll spread the word about that human with a kink for ghosts...

Instead of the wanted posters with money for reward, it's a pin up picture with a number to call.

Through the entire night, between floors, Luigi gets harassed here and there by various ghosts and Boos who want a taste of the delicious human, but King Boo also gave clear instructions so the Boss Ghosts get dibs on him.

Stewart, Chambrea and Kruller are pretty easy to satisfy : they're all overworked and stressed out by their jobs, and once Luigi shows up with his delicious, enticing aura, it doesn't take much to convince them to sit back and relax. A head/handjob (well, the equivalent for ghosts as they don't have the same anatomy as humans anymore) and some fondling and kisses, and they're spent and content.

Chef Soulfflé and Amadeus Wolfgeist are Luigi's first obstacles : they're both "artists" whose energy expresses through their art, and so it's less about physical sex : they find release in making their "victim" experiment actual Food/music porn. Luigi never thought he would be able to come just from a concert.

King MacFrights : Ooooh these dungeons and torture contraptions are going to come in handy. The joust still happens though, with the victor gaining the favours of the crowd...a very enthusiastic crowd...

Garden Suites : Like mentioned before, if Dr Potter doesn't get physical himself, his beloved plants, on the other hand...between the very long and grabby vines, sex pollen all over the place, and toothy carnivorous plants, Luigi spends a LOT of time on this floor.

T-Rex + Ug : Gooigi comes in VERY handy there, because Luigi would NOT have survived T Rex vore with his own body. Sharing his consciousness with a pile of good helps for very interesting sensations.

Morty is the sweetest of all ghosts, and gives Luigi a well earned reprieve by letting him rest for a while and pampering his new star the whole time.

He's the first ghost where Luigi is actually the one to make the first move sincerely. However, he also insists on filming everything (and not necessarily taking part himself), puts Luigi through different roles and scenarios...He keeps up the praise all the while, which is an enormous boost to Luigi's confidence (and he realises he has a praise kink).

Boiler room : let's say Clem ain't keeping these rubber duckies just for decoration. At least lying down on a giant rubber duckie floatie in a pool the whole time is kinda relaxing.

Serpci ; listen even in the canon of the game, I thought when I first saw her "what is it with ghost ladies making Luigi sneeze while making seductive poses ? Is this how you manifest your interest?"

Anyway look at her. She would demand worship and praise from Luigi (thankfully he picked up some tips from Morty) and gosh just look at her ❤️

Captain Fishook and Johnny Deepend: look, if you can't see the sex appeal in a hunk shark pirate on his ship and a buff life guard, I can't do anything for you. Luigi even gets to get drunk in the grotto lounge afterwards, turns out pirate ghosts know how to party

Triplets of the Twisted Suites : oh boy, this one is gonna be a wild ride. Three magician girls with a streak for mischief in a floor full of tricks and traps ? It's a miracle he makes it out alive.

Disco floor : Luigi canonically loves dancing, especially in the Luigi's Mansion games. He's killing it on the dance floor. Going clubbing has never been his style, but now he gets the full experience, including the grinding and groping.

Ironically Helen is the only ghost in the hotel who doesn't manage to get a go at Luigi: he passes out in the Master suite for a while (he needs to regain some energy before King Boo) and when she tries to stop him, he claims he played with her pussy and holds up Polterkitty. She's furious but she appreciates that he did look after her precious cat.

Now Luigi arrives to the top of the hotel, armed with all the knowledge he acquired through the night on ghost pleasure, still "smelling" like the most delicious thing to spectres, and facing a blue-balled King Boo who has been watching Luigi's progress the whole time.

Mario when Luigi frees him : "Oh Luigi, you look exhausted, these ghosts must have kept you up all night!"

Luigi : "haha...yeah you could say that."

Who will win ? YOU DECIDE !!

#super mario bros #luigi's mansion #booigi #miscellaneous mario madness #long post #answers #anon ask #Anon I hope you'll enjoy this given how much time it took to find my old notes #ghost seducer Luigi AU

[amazingmsme]

Like Magic

AN: So this is a bit of a different spin on the prompt, but anything to write more TMA! Idk how the rest of this month is shaping out to look like for me, but I’m gonna try to finish things. Please be patient as I try to finish these fics. Here’s my fic for day 18!

Martin rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time as Tim droned on about how such great friends he apparently was with one Jonathan Sims. Of course he wasn't buying any of it. But that didn't mean he wouldn't play along.

"Wow, ya don't say?" Martin said breathily, sarcasm still evident.

"Yup! He even said so himself!" Tim proudly proclaimed. Martin raised his brows in shock.

"He said that you are the funniest one here?" he asked skeptically. Tim scoffed.

"Why'd you say that like it's hard to believe?"

Martin shrugged. "B-because it is! I mean, it's Jon we're talking about. Does... does he even have a sense of humor?"

Tim shook his head with an amused chuckle. "Oh Martin, always so naive. Everyone has a sense of humor if you know what tickles their funny bone," he winked, nudging him with his elbow.

"Yeah but, he just doesn't seem like the giddy type," he reasoned.

"Well, you just don't know Jon like I do. What can I say? We have an unspoken bond between us. I can make him crack up with a single look," he boasted, and that was where Martin called it.

"Oh you can not!"

"Wanna bet?" he asked with a crooked grin, wiggling his eyebrows at him. Martin opened his mouth but abruptly snapped it shut when Jon walked into the break room. Tim also shut up, hands shoved in his pockets. Jon looked between them and snorted, walking to the counter.

"If you're going to talk behind my back, I suggest making it less apparent," he casually teased.

"N-no, it's nothing like that!" Martin assured him.

"I was just telling Martin what great friends we are!"

"Hm, that's news to me." Jon barely hid his smirk  at the way Tim cried out indignantly.

"Ouch. I'm hurt Jon. You hurt me," he said, pointing an accusing finger. Jon grinned smugly, turning back to the kettle. He poured himself a cup as Tim walked back to the couch, flopping down next to Martin with a pout. Martin looked about as smug as Jon.

"What?" he snapped.

"You're so full of it," he said softly, an amused smile firmly in place. Tim shoved his shoulder.

"Oh sod off! You know, that last part was actually true," he said, and something in his voice seemed genuine enough for Martin to feel inclined to believe him.

"Really?" he asked, casting a quick glance Jon's direction. Tim followed it, nodding.

“Oh yeah. It’s a little magic power of mine,” he bragged, wiggling his fingers in a twinkly magic kind of way. Martin snorted in amusement.

“Magic, okay, sure,” he said with a roll of his eyes.

“Oh you don’t believe me? Here, I’ll prove it,” he said matter of factly. He hopped to his feet, sauntering over to the counter next to Jon. He looked over his shoulder at Martin, smug smirk already in place. He turned his attention to Jon, leaning his hip against the countertop.

“So how’s your day been so far?” he asked casually. Jon snorted.

“The same as every other damn day, what do you think?” When he looked up from adding the smallest amount of sugar to his tea, he froze like a deer in headlights.

Tim was giving him The Look. The one he always gave him before he pounced and turned him into a hysterical mess. His eyes were glowing with mischievous intent, deviously smug smirk peaking out from behind his mustache. Jon took a step back, a nervous grin already tugging at his lips. He glanced over at Martin- oh God, he was going to do it in front of Martin! He looked at Tim with wide eyes, shaking his head. His smile stretched ear to ear and quite literally lit up the room. Martin stared on in shock, a faint blush dusting his cheeks at the sight of their boss looking so adorable.

“Tim-“ Jon started, hoping to negotiate his way out of this.

“You sure it’s just another boring day?” he asked, cutting him off. When he wiggled his eyebrows at him, Jon giggled, actually giggled, bumping into the corner of the fridge when he backed up further.

“Tim I swear-“

“What? I’m just asking about your day. You seem to be rather chipper, thought I’d see what that’s all about,” he teased further. Jon was starting to visibly flush, and he was at a loss for words.

“Oh you bastard,” he huffed, turning away. Tim stepped in front of him.

“Where did this hostility come from? I think someone ought to teach you some manners,” he said, winking at him. Jon felt his blood run cold.

He turned to run, but Tim hooked an arm around his waist, immediately digging his fingers in his sides. Jon doubled over, choking back laughter that still forced its way out through quick bursts of giggles, snorts, and uncharacteristic shrieks. Martin was in awe.

But he couldn’t let himself look or act as lovestruck as he felt, so he just sat there in shock.

“Tihihim! Wha- whahahat dihid I dohoho?” he asked through an onslaught of helpless snickers. Tim brought his other hand into the fray, kneading his sides like a cat making biscuits. Jon snorted, knees buckling when devious hands made contact with his ribs. Those torturous fingers prodded every space between the bones, leaving him sputtering through laughter.

“Oh nothing, nothing at all. You just looked like an easy target,” he reasoned and Jon whined. He found the uppermost ribs and Jon arched his back with a giggly squeal.

Tim only kept at it for a while longer before he released him. He gave Jon a pat on the back as he caught his breath. Tim looked over at Martin and flashed a wide, cocky grin.

“See, what’d I tell ya? Magic,” he said with a grand flourish, making Martin snort in amusement. And if he noticed the way Jon was slowly creeping up behind Tim, fingers flexed and ready to strike, well, he didn’t say anything.

Where would be the fun in that?

#tickletober #tickletober 2023 #tickletober day 18 #tim stoker #martin blackwood #jonathan sims #jon sims #the magnus archives #tma #the magnus archives fic #tma fic #the magnus archives tickle fic #tma tickle fic #ticklish!jon

[youngpettyqueen]

have you considered for a fic: julian being held in somebodys arms

anon I could kiss you because Julian being carried in somebody's arms is something that lives in my head rent free always and in fact there's been a scenario in my head for a hot minute and this is the perfect excuse to force myself to write it

Jadzia picks her way through some bushes, eyes on her tricorder as she continues her environmental scans. So far the planet appears to be very similar to Earth, with a comparable atmosphere, and even similar biomes. This forest they've beamed down to is very Earth-like, except that there are some much bigger trees, and several of the plants appear to be bioluminescent.

"Fascinating..." She murmurs to herself, pausing to read through the data. This atmosphere would definitely support the lives of several different humanoid species, if the Federation decided to place a colony here. Considering this planet appears uninhabited except for animals and other such creatures, she wouldn't be-

Footsteps crack somewhere nearby. Jadzia looks up. She can hear the faint murmur of voices, too far away to make out properly, but it's definitely voices. Curious, she starts to move in the direction of the conversation, focusing to try and hear what's being said.

"-ridiculous."

"-arguing is-"

She only catches a few words, but it sounds heated. Now she's really curious. She keeps moving.

"-going to see!"

"Your point?"

That second voice- that's definitely Worf. She would recognize that aggravated tone anywhere. But that first voice-

"It's embarrassing!"

Wait.

"Seriously, Commander, put me down!"

Is that...?

Jadzia comes around the trunk of one of the more massive trees, and stumbles upon a sight she's going to remember for a long, long time.

Worf and Julian both snap to look at her at the exact same time. Worf's expression doesn't change except for his eyes widening a touch, but Julian, who is sitting pretty in Worf's arms like a princess, turns bright red faster than she can blink.

Jadzia stops. Stares. Processes.

And then she grins.

"Boys," She greets, her tone saturated with amusement, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"You're not," Julian says, very firmly, looking like he would rather be anywhere else than here, "Maybe you can talk some sense into him, Jadzia. Tell him I don't need to be carried like a bloody damsel in distress." He gives Worf a pointed look.

Worf ignores his look, and turns an exasperated one of his own to Jadzia. "Perhaps you could tell Doctor Bashir to stop being so stubborn, and accept help when it is offered." He suggests, which earns him an outraged look from Julian.

Jadzia bites her cheek to keep from laughing. "Hold it, gentlemen," She says, raising a hand to quiet them both, "You can't ask me to take sides when I don't have the full story. Julian," She looks at him, "What happened?"

Julian looks less than thrilled at the question. "Must I?" He asks in return.

Jadzia barely keeps her grin from growing because oh, that means this is going to be good. "You must." She smirks.

"Fine," Julian sighs, looking none-too-pleased about it, "I had a little... mishap, while I was exploring. Banged my knee up a bit. And Worf here decided the best course of action was to scoop me up-"

"Like a damsel in distress." Jadzia puts in, just to be cheeky.

Julian gives her a flat look. "...Like a damsel in distress," He mutters, "And carry me. Which, let me be clear, is entirely unnecessary, and I really wish he would put me down." He hisses the last bit at Worf, who just raises an unimpressed brow at him.

Jadzia nods, putting on her best act that this is all very serious. "I see," She looks to Worf, "Your side of the story, Commander?" She invites.

Worf continues giving Julian an annoyed look, before he turns his attention to Jadzia. "Gladly," He says, "I heard a commotion and followed it to the source, and found Doctor Bashir at the bottom of an incline. His leg is injured, so I thought it best to take the most efficient course of action, and carry him back to the runabout." He explains.

Jadzia cannot hide the amused smirk that forces itself to be known on her face as she looks back at Julian. "You fell down a hill." She doesn't need to ask- she knows.

Julian doesn't look at her. "I fell down a hill."

"And you could not walk," Worf interjects, glowering, "Hence why I am carrying you."

"I could've limped!" Julian exclaims, "A shoulder to lean on would've been fine! Would you please just put me down?" He asks.

"No," Worf replies, resolute, "I will not risk you aggravating your injury for the sake of pride."

"You're a bloody hypocrite." Julian accuses.

"I dunno, Julian," Jadzia re-enters the conversation, a sly grin on her face, "I think I'm with Worf on this one."

Julian gives her a look of complete and utter betrayal. "I thought we were friends." He says, like she's just stabbed him.

"Of course we're friends," Jadzia says, "That's exactly why I'm with Worf. You shouldn't be walking on that leg. Besides," She gives him a knowing look, "I know a thing or two about being in those arms, and who am I to deny you the experience?" She asks.

Julian looks like he wants to sink into the ground and never emerge. Worf gives her a warning look. "Jadzia..." He says, in that warning tone of his.

Unfortunately for him, all that tone ever does is egg her on. "What?" She asks, batting her lashes innocently, "I'm just saying. You two look awfully cozy." She teases.

"We are not!" Julian and Worf say in haunting unison, though Julian's is more of a squeak and Worf's is more of a growl.

Jadzia throws her hands up placatingly. "Hey, hey, like I said. I'm just saying. It doesn't have to mean anything if you don't want it to," She flashes them a mischievous grin, "But if it did, you know... I wouldn't be opposed to it." She winks playfully.

"Worf, I've decided I'm alright with being carried," Julian declares suddenly, now a truly impressive shade of red, "Please take me to the runabout and away from this." He implores him.

"For once, Doctor, we agree," Worf nods, "I, too, am done with this conversation." With that, he turns away from Jadzia and resumes walking.

Jadzia's grin is out in full force. "I like it when he carries me, too!" She calls after them.

"I don't like this!" Julian calls back.

Jadzia chuckles to herself. "Liar." She accuses, though not loud enough for either of them to hear her. She watches them disappear into the foliage, satisfied enough with her teasing that she doesn't pursue them. Left alone again, she resumes her scanning, the smile never leaving her face as she gets back to work.

She is never letting either of them live that down.

#fic bitching #star trek: ds9 #jadzia dax #julian bashir #worf #hi welcome to my Julian/Jadzia/Worf agenda #which is about Jadzia trying to set Worf and Julian up #I was torn between a couple of ideas tbh but I decided to go with this one because the Worf and Julian dynamic is criminally under explored #other idea was Kira carrying Julian around purely to fuck with him #because their dynamic is also criminally under explored #but I went with this one because I did rewatch Trials and Tribble-ations recently so #Worf and Julian on the brain #and of course. Jadzia is fun to write #hope you enjoyed anon!! I quite enjoyed writing it #I feel like im FINALLY out of this writing block ive been in #thank god #I was starting to go crazy

[tinkertoysdamn]

Stereo Hearts - We Built This City' Verse

Loki shuddered in irritation.  Things were progressing on the overall plan but the rogue Time Agents still needed help, specifically they needed raw muscle.  Mobius had made a suggestion, a good one in fact, but Loki was unhappy with it.  “I can’t believe we are considering this.”

“She was damn useful on the last mission.”  Mobius pointed out.  Thora Odinson had been not merely useful, but the powerhouse behind that particular success.  The fact that her presence had also annoyed Loki to no end was a bonus as far as Mobius was concerned.    

“Yes but she was also–”  Loki’s face screwed up in distaste.  “Pining.”  He spat out the word with great vitriol.  “Obviously.  Obnoxiously.”

It had gotten a little out of hand.  “Maybe if we pull her from another part of the timeline,” Mobius suggested.  

Loki lit up.  “Excellent idea.”  He clapped his hands together, pleased.  “Perhaps after some distance from those blasted Guardians, she’d be more tolerable.”

Considering how Loki had whined to Mobius about his own long-lost Sylvie, Mobius thought the trickster god was being a bit hypocritical.  Still—  “Here’s a good spot,” Mobius said, looking over his Tempad.  “It’s a few years later.”

Now fully on board with the idea, Loki’s eyes glittered.  “Do it.”

Once again, they teleported onto a spaceship, but this one was considerably larger and of a different make then the one they’d been on before.  “Good,” Loki muttered, “perhaps she’s taken up with new companions.”  

Then they heard the music.  It wasn’t nearly as old as that dreaded Pina Colada song, but it still made them pause.  It was entirely possible that Thora was traveling with others who liked Earth’s music, but it was doubtful.    

“Where’s it coming from?” Mobius whispered.  

Cautiously, they made their way down the hallway, ready for anything.  Except for perhaps that.

Up on a repair catwalk where two figures, one was partially buried in a vent, her fluffy tail peeking out and the other was Captain Brandy Quill.  Considering her state of dress, she had not been expecting company.  She was in a tank top and shorts, work gloves in place as they worked in tandem on a repair.  Every once and while she’d exaggerate a hip swing or a movement to dance along.  

Over the music Loki and Mobius could hear Rocket and Quill singing.  Judging from how they split up the duet, it was clear they had some practice.

“Appreciate every mixtape your friends make.  You never know, we come and go like on the interstate.”  Rocket’s voice was less than musically inclined, but it was earnest, carrying through the ship.  

Loki and Mobius lurked, not certain if they should draw attention to themselves or should sneak away without interrupting.  If they were careful enough, maybe they could avoid the wrath of the Captain entirely.     

It was then that the song shifted to the bridge.  Quill elected to stop her repair to tug on the mechanic’s creeper to get Rocket out of the vent, only to belt more of the song at her.  

“I only pray you never leave me behind—”

Rocket snickered under her breath.  “You always get so dramatic at this part.”

Quill was using her spanner as a microphone now.  “Because good music can be so hard to find.”

Rocket grinned.  “I should be filming.  Thunder Head would love this.”  

“I take your hand, hold it closer to mine.”  Quill was eating this up, chewing up the song and spitting it back out again with sheer unadulterated joy.  She tilted her head back, letting the spirit and lyrics pour out of her.  

“Thought love was dead, but now you're changing my mind!”    

“Okay,” Loki admitted to Mobius.  “She’s actually pretty good.”  Then he ducked as the spanner nearly collided with his head. 

Mobius jumped at the sound.  “Oh my god.”  

The music cut off.  Quill stared down at them with righteous anger.  “Don’t you dicks ever call?”

“Captain,” Loki tried to put on his most obsequious charm.  “Pardon the intrusion but this is only the second—”

“Fourth.”  Quill held up four fingers.  “Four times you flarking jerks have done this.”

“We’ve only been here twice,” Mobius said.  “I think I’d remember the other two.”

Rocket and Quill shared a disgusted look.  “Time travelers,” Rocket complained.  “At least it’s not in the middle of dinner this time.”

“Or when Tetrina’s trying to take a nap.”  Once again, the best friends shared a look, but this time one of a remembered agony.  

Things were getting off track.  Loki attempted to regain control.  “We’re here for—”

“We know.”  Quill pressed a button on her com-unit.  “Thora, your not-brother’s here again.  Collect him before we throw him out of the airlock for real this time.”

“Always with the airlock,” Mobius muttered.  

Quill wasn’t having it.  “Stop showing up unannounced and it won’t be a problem.”  

Less than a minute later, Thora barged into the room, already outfitted in her armor, her ax at the ready.  “Where are we going today?” Thora asked, beaming. 

“You seem awfully eager,” Mobius said.

“This is our fourth quest together,” Thora said.  “Why shouldn’t I be?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Loki could spot Quill making a “I told you” gesture. 

It seemed that his partnership with this variant of his brother would continue into the future.  Someway, somehow, Loki wouldn’t drive her away.  Loki found the thought more comforting than he would care to admit.    

“This shouldn’t be nearly so perilous as before,” Loki told her.  “But we need your strength regardless.”

“Excellent.”  Thora was more than up for the challenge. 

“Don’t bring her back full of holes this time,” Quill shouted down at them.  

“No promises,” Mobius said, dialing up the Tempad.  The Time Agents and Thor stepped through the portal, dodging any verbal barbs that Quill had left to throw at them.

As the portal closed, Thora said with a wide grin, "She's my girlfriend now."

Loki pinched the bridge of his nose. It had begun.

My heart's a stereo It beats for you, so listen close Hear my thoughts in every no-ote Make me your radio And turn me up when you feel low This melody was meant for you Just sing along to my stereo

#thorquill #peter quill #thor odinson #we built this city verse #rule 63 #too dumb for ao3

[sparrowhero]

Special Ch.1

Tomura Shigaraki x Quirkless! Reader

Starts one year prior to the events of the series, Shigaraki lacks 'something' that he can't find on his own, and he finds that in you. A companion, a friend, and one day...something more. For now, though, you're more than content to coexist. CONTAINS POTENTIAL MANGA SPOILERS! Read at your own risk!

All For One rarely makes mistakes.  Even the tiniest of setbacks can scarcely be called ‘mistakes’ in his mind, for they are rarely irreparable.  Everything done by design, to the smallest detail, is what he excels in.  Tomura Shigaraki, his poetic masterpiece, is obviously included in this.  However, he understands the good doctor Garaki’s intentions when they meet up for one of his ‘assessments.’

“He’s got issues.  Nobody is going to follow him like this if all he cares about is destruction.”  Dr. Garaki intones as he turns away from the screen, displaying the teenage Shigaraki from a few days ago.  All For One knows that the doctor will follow him near unconditionally, and with regards to that loyalty, will say the truths that others under his command would falter.  Perhaps it’s the decades-long relationship between them, not to mention the complicated history of scientific procedures, that allows for this near equal relationship.  All For One taps his index finger on the desk, knowing that Dr. Garaki has a suggested solution.

“Get him a companion.  Not like Kurogiri– A real one, someone his age.”  Dr. Garaki elaborates.  All For One has kept the young man isolated for a reason, to mold his anger, cultivate his hatred into a fine work of art– but he lacks the finer social skills, the striking charisma that he has.  He’s admittedly assumed that it would come in time, with his careful guidance, but if Dr. Garaki is bringing it up, the idea must have merit.

“We still have some spares from the Nomu ingredients.  I’ll give you a list that you can pick out that you’d think would be suitable for curbing some of that temper of his.”  Dr. Garaki hands a list of the surviving teenagers, fitted with pictures and brief descriptions of skills and personality, to him.  He’s spoken to most of them personally, built up rapport, but there are a few names on there that he isn’t familiar with yet.  Ever the overachiever, that doctor.  Surely it won’t be hard to find him someone of a good temperament that Shigaraki would mesh with?

How quickly do such thoughts prove themselves wrong in the end.

Shigaraki only nearly kills one of those chosen for him (It was mostly an accident…An attempt to intimidate gone a little too far), but the rest of them have the opposite effect of what he and the doctor intend.  His red eyes glare at whoever is introduced to him, and he snaps at the slightest inclination of someone infringing on what is his, on his place.  He always finds something to complain about and those who do end up beside him become underlings, something crushed under his will– Not the kind of relationship he’s looking for Shigaraki to cultivate.  It cannot be true equality, of course, as there has to be loyalty to Shigaraki and his orders– but he has enough of a yes man and caretaker in Kurogiri.  Shigaraki needs someone to challenge his beliefs in his own solidarity.

The solution to this is admittedly very simple, so much so that it causes a soft laugh to escape.  Of course, of course!  He’s been choosing those he interacts with for him, based on his own criteria, rather than factoring in Shigaraki’s personal tastes.  He doesn’t necessarily need a hyper-competent companion.  Nodding in satisfaction, he sends the amended list towards Shigaraki through fax, and asks him to choose who he’d like.

Shigaraki, blurry from the screen, takes a look at the printed list.  All For One waits patiently.  There have been enough mishaps, no need to rush things.  It’s a good sign that Shigaraki’s red eyes focus, flitting down and across the pages.  The shaggy blue hair that covers his eyes obscures most of his face like this, but his body language is the same as it’s always been whenever he takes on a task: stiff and hunched over, with only a couple of fingers to flip through.  Eventually, he points to a portrait on the last page, one that was added at the last minute.  As always, his pupil is full of surprises.

“I see, I see.”  He intones over the speaker, curiously going over your file.  “Are you sure?”

Shigaraki just barely nods his head with an affirmative grunt.

“This one doesn’t look as stupid as the rest of them.”  The bland response is more or less expected as there’s no other identifying information, just a name and a face.  A spark of interest is all that he needs, as well as the fun little surprise that he’d get when they met.

Perhaps even ‘blanks’ have their uses?

–

You owe everything to him.  Life on the streets was hard, but the orphanage was what saved you.  You can still remember the gentle hands of the benefactor.  You never learned his name, but his hands were warmer than anything that you’d ever felt.  Food.  Shelter.  A place to call home– Fuck, he gave you a purpose to live on.   You’d do just about anything for him, so obviously, when the doctor called you in, you were bursting with a mixture of nervousness and excitement.

“We have someone we’d like you to meet.  He’s a difficult, immature child, but I trust you to do what you’ve been entrusted with.”

Dr. Garaki makes a dismissing gesture towards the mass of fog and black mist that materialized seemingly out of nowhere.  You’re a little shocked, having never seen this before, but you don’t let it show on your face.  A distinguished voice echoes out from inside of it, or perhaps…maybe this mass of darkness is the voice.

“Hello.”  He’s the epitome of manners and class; you’re sure that if he were in a more physical form, he’d be bowing at a perfect angle.  “My name is Kurogiri.  I’ve been instructed to escort you.  Are you fully prepared?”  His glowing yellow eyes flicker as he waits for your answer.

You nod.  It’s not like you have much to your name outside of the clothes on your back and small overnight bag of essentials.  He humbly invites you to take a step inside of him, reassuring you in the same lofty voice that absolutely no harm would come to you.  Despite not really wanting to do so, you take a deep breath and step inside.  It’s not unpleasant like you expected.  A strange feeling covers your entire body, but it’s neither cold nor hot, physical but also your hands seem to faze through.  He advises you to take a step forward, as you’ve reached your destination.  The entire interaction couldn’t have taken more than a few seconds, but as you step out from the darkness and into the dimly lit room, you’re definitely nowhere near your previous destination.

It’s some kind of dive bar, but the interior is clean and well-taken care of.  You’ve been in and around enough of them to know one when you see one.  Kurogiri is behind the bar now, and you can get a better look at him.  He wasn’t joking about you being inside– what was visible outside of the dapper bartending outfit is the same material that took you here.

“I will inform Shigaraki of your arrival.  Please, feel free to have a seat.”  He politely inclines towards a bar stool before disappearing up the stairs.

Tomura Shigaraki.  You haven’t heard his name before, but you remember some of the whispers around the orphanage about the director’s beloved protege.   You know that Dr. Garaki is not one to mince words, and ‘difficult child’ could mean a hundred different things– you just know that part of the reason you were chosen is because you’re basically the same age.

Footsteps reach your ear, and you turn to look at Kurogiri,who has just returned, and the young man who would, unknown to you, become your destiny.

Your first thought about him is that he’s skinny and his posture is bad.  His hair hasn’t been brushed, or if it has, he’s done a half-assed job of it, and his expression is completely unreadable due to the pale hand covering the majority of his face outside of a sharp, red eye.  A slightly raspy voice comes out muffled from behind it.

“This them?”  He asks Kurogiri first, rather than address you.  Kurogiri’s misty form shimmers as he nods.  Shigaraki hums and aims his gaze back at you.  “Stand up.”

You raise an eyebrow, but do as he says, and he starts to circle you like a cat.  Shigaraki gives you the up-down, but it’s not creepy.  Well, that’s a lie– it kind of is, but it’s not the kind you’d normally expect when someone asks you to let them take a good look at you.  He’s analytical.

“What’s your name?”

You answer dutifully, watching him as he watches you.  There’s tension as the both of you take the other in.  As much as he seems like your typical shut-in at first glance, you can feel the danger on him.

“Quirk?”  He asks immediately.  Nothing like going straight to the point.

“I don’t have one.”  You answer back simply.  There’s neither a hint of apology nor shame in your voice.  “I thought you knew.”

Immediately, he stops.  Not being able to see his expression doesn’t mean that you can’t read the surprise from his body language.  He takes an exaggerated, deep sigh.

“What the hell, man?”  Shigaraki asks, as if to no one in particular.  “This is like rolling for a rare character but coming back with nothing but materials.”

The gamer lingo goes slightly over your head, but you can tell it’s nothing good.  It doesn’t matter in the end; this treatment is what you’ve gotten all your life.  You can’t lie, it hurts getting it from the beloved pupil of someone you respect, but Dr. Garaki’s words ring loud and clear in your head.  This is a test.

“Do you have any uses?”  He asks pointedly, regaining your attention.  Shigaraki seems a little irritated that you spaced out for a moment, and points a finger at you rudely.

“That’s for you to find out.”

He growls.  “I can’t stand smartasses.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

The air stills between the two of you as the tension from before rises.

“What the hell does some quirkless nobody think they can do?  Shouldn’t you be cozy at home getting protected by heroes?”  His questions sarcastically, his chin lifting in the air in a patronizing manner.  “If you’re just going to get in the way, then just go home.  I hate posers even more than I hate heroes.”

Ah, he’s challenging you.  That’s probably why the others left.

“Do you wanna find out?”  You ask, fishing into your pocket and pulling out a shiny, metallic yo-yo.  His eyes flicker towards it, and you know you’ve piqued his interest.   You do a couple of warm-up tricks in the bar, the yo-yo in your practiced hands practically comes alive.

“What’s with that toy?  Do you think I’m some sort of kid–”  He starts out, but immediately hops back when the yo-yo flies towards his face faster than it reasonably should have.  Shigaraki can feel the force behind it, and his eyes widen when you angle the string and it changes trajectory right back to him.  He avoids it and tries to grab it,  but it’s just out of his reach as you pull it back cheekily.

His eyes shine maliciously.

“Not bad… Are you serious right now?”  His hands flex dangerously at his sides, his stance lowering.  You voice your affirmations while toying with the yo-yo in your hands.  “Fine.  If you impress me, I’ll let you stay.  But…”  He lunges forward with a feral kind of ferocity.  “Don’t get mad if I kill you, okay?”

Hand-to-hand combat is what you shine in.  You’re dextrous; something that’s saved your life.  Shigaraki isn’t a slouch, though.  You know instinctively that you ought to avoid his hands, since he keeps trying to grab you, or your yo-yo– whichever he can get his hands on first.  He really doesn’t care if he kills you, his intent rolls off of his body in waves.

What are his weak points?  You explore with your fists, your feet, and your yo-yo.  THe only time he’s even slightly flinched is when you nearly hit him in the face.  Neither of you have hit the other yet, though not for not trying.  Shigaraki grabs your jacket, and you use the momentum to throw him to the ground with it.  However, it only half-works since it’s dissolved in his grip faster than you thought possible.  You make a mental note of his quirk, but the shock isn’t enough to make you fuck up this one chance as he knocks into the bar.

The steel yo-yo slices through the air and just barely misses him– taking some hair with it, but leaving a large crack in the countertop.  It continues spinning, digging itself into the stone and denting some of the metal structures.  While he focuses on that, you leap over at him, and the two of you tussle, rolling on the floor as you keep his hands away from you and he tries his damnedest to kill you.  Eventually, you end up on top, both of his hands pinned above his head and the two of you breathing heavily in a sort of stalemate.  Silence overtakes you both for a few moments.

“I hate…what you hate.”  You breathe out. There’s no real way else to communicate the depth of your resolve, the depth of the same anger and hurt that stews inside of you at the state of true rot around you. A place where the only value you have is how much your quirk is worth and if it can paint a pretty picture to sell.  The director promised you that he would bring about a better world, one where people like you aren’t abandoned.  If Shigaraki truly embodies his will…then hopefully he can understand you.

He stares at you long and hard from between the ghastly, pale fingers, but you feel a flicker of recognition when he hears your statement.  Then, he turns his head towards the bar where Kurogiri still stood, taking in the damage to the bar.   “Kurogiri, is the other room upstairs ready?” He asks.

“Of course.”

“Fine.  Show them the way.”  Shigaraki addresses you once more.  “You.  Get the hell off of me.  You’re heavy.”  He orders, and you cautiously, carefully lift your body up from on top of him, and he, in turn, doesn’t immediately try to disintegrate you.  He stands up in a huff and dusts himself off.

“I guess you can stay, so long as you don’t get in the way.”  You nod, and turn around, but Shigaraki suddenly grips your arm with four fingers.  Immediately turning around, you inhale sharply as he points to his face…or rather, the hand on his face.

“I saw you going for this. Let me give you a bit of advice…Don’t ever try that again, or I’lll kill you for real.”  He hisses in your ear, and gives your wrist one more warning squeeze as a little goodbye present.

“...Understood.”  You nod, and he seems satisfied at the cold chill he gives you.

“My room is right across from yours.  Don’t make too much noise, don’t bug me with irrelevant shit, and don’t bring anyone over unless you think they’re going to be useful.  You’re on your own when it comes to food.  Bathroom’s upstairs.”  Shigaraki gives you a bland run-through of his rules as he walks upstairs, unbothered by the slight chaos of the bar around him.  He gives you one last, lingering stair as you apologize to Kurogiri about the bar.

You’re weird.

But you’re the unofficial first ‘party member.’

#bnha x reader #mha x reader #tomura shigaraki x reader #shigaraki x reader #special series #gender neutral reader #shigaraki tomura x reader #the first chapter originally had them interacting more but i think it's best broken up like this

[acefaun]

Just a small request if you don't mind. 😅

Can you please add two endings to the Tauxolouve yandere fic?

PLEASE! 🙏🙏🙏

• Mc leaves Tauxolouve for good.🌝

• Mc stays with him. 😈

Please!!!!!!! ♥️

Yandere Tauxolouve

Synopsis: Tauxolouve was a very loving boyfriend… too loving, in fact. Well, maybe love was too kind of a word. The best way to describe someone like Tauxolouve was obsessed and unhinged.

🩸Yandere Masterlist🩸 Female goldfish! Warnings: violence, major character death, stalking, captivity, manipulation

A/n: Lou’s turn to be scary! This came out long with or without the good/bad endings. But the good ending is a little longer than the bad ending, so congrats! 

–Word Count: 17,286–

I was an artist. That's what immediately attracted me to Tauxolouve. Okay, that's... not entirely true. He just seemed like a nice god—and he was! I didn't find out he enjoyed art until he told me more about himself. I learned about him and his family, and I shared a bit about my life in turn.

But back to art... Tauxolouve was the only god to enjoy doing art as much as I did and so I often sought him out for company. I was much more inclined to use a pencil and Tauxolouve was an excellent painter, so we often shared our craft and took joy in drawing or painting each other.

It had been some time since the incident with the Dark King where we survived and proclaimed our love for one another. As per our usual customs, I was hanging out with Lou in the living room. I narrowed my eyes as I tried my best to match the color of his tie to the paint that I had on my pallet. Unlike the gods, I couldn't just snap my fingers and get the perfect color. I had to mix them meticulously myself. "Uh... Lou, the purple isn't coming out right and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong."

He glanced at me, finally moving from the pose I made him sit in. He hummed before coming over to peer at what I was mixing. "There's too much red in your mixture. Here, let me show you how I look at things." Sitting beside me, he removed his tie and placed it hanging on a sofa in front of us. "Do you see the orange of the chair? What's the difference between that chair and my tie?" 

I stared between the two. I wasn't excellent at painting and I rarely ever had to color-spot to work with colored pencils since the only colors were what I had in front of me. Painting was much different. I glanced at Lou and hurriedly looked back at the two objects. He was waiting for an answer, but I really didn't know. Starting with the obvious, I tried, "One's purple and the other's orange...?"

Lou's lips subtly curled up in amusement. "Yes... But look deeper into the colors and tell me what's different about them."

I hummed, trying to peer deeper into the colors like he wanted. "Well... I guess one is a lot warmer than the other. But does that really make them different? It's not like your tie is a cool purple."

"But you've spotted the difference," he replied with a proud smile, ruffling my hair. "That's how you should look at your paint. There are warmer colors and there are cooler colors. You might think red and blue are different, but their temperatures can trick you."

I stared in wonder as he passionately explained to me the differences between the colors of red and blue on my pallet. He really loved painting, and the passion in his voice took me. I was almost jealous of the paint with how he was speaking of it. "Lou..." He stopped his explanation and looked at me again. I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't realized I interrupted him. "Uh, s- sorry! I was just thinking... You're really passionate about this. It's... cute." My face heated as I shyly suggested, "What if you started hanging your paintings in your room? I think it would look nice." His room was always so depressing and empty despite how he promised to change it. If he hung his paintings, it might liven the space a bit more. 

He thoughtfully tapped his chin, wondering about it for a moment before a grin spread across his face. "That's a wonderful idea. You can help me." 

"Help you? I mean... uh... sure."

"This can be the first piece we put up!" 

He was obviously excited about hanging up this painting in his room and I couldn't do anything but nervously argue, "I meant your work, Lou..." I wanted to do what I could to make sure Tauxolouve was happy, but I was certainly beginning to feel shy about how excited he was over my art. Still, it wasn't like I was about to tell him no. 

His smile, however, made me happy that I suggested it in the first place, regardless of his embarrassing idea to hang my work. His eyes shone with love as he beamed at me. "You're so cute when you're embarrassed. Don't worry. Your painting is going to look lovely. I'll become your painting teacher from now on and we'll paint things together."

My lips curled up in bliss. I absolutely loved how he took joy in the smallest things I tried to do for him. On the bright side, if he wanted to teach me how to paint so badly then that would only give us more time to hang out together. "Okay; I can't wait to learn everything you know."

He nodded his head, immediately becoming serious about his new job as my painting teacher. "I'll make sure your paintings surpass mine. First, why don't you finish this painting you're working on and I can get an idea of what I need to show you? That will make these lessons a lot easier for you." I watched him as he returned to the sofa, settling his tie around his neck as he got into position for me to finish the painting on my own. With his previous tip about mixing colors in my mind, I did my best to create a perfect painting of him—this was going to be the first painting in his room after all.

***

Tauxolouve was a member of the Department of Wishes and he was my boyfriend, but Leon's orders were much more important than spending time with me. I knew he had a duty to uphold in his department, but I was still disappointed to have come all this way only for Karno to tell me he wasn't in the mansion. Still, rather than going all the way back home, I borrowed some of Partheno's time since he was on the sofa sifting through his own work. 

"Do you think it would be alright if I sketched you?"

My sudden request surprised Partheno. After all, it was usually Tauxolouve that I was taking my time to draw. But he did also know that Tauxolouve was busy, and I was alone and in need of company. "You want to draw me? I don't see why not. I just have to sit still for you, right?"

I nodded my head, explaining what I needed, "You can just relax. I don't need you in any complicated pose or anything like that. This is actually just for me to pass some time. I hope I'm not wasting any of your time...”

"I'm sooooo jealous!" Ichthys cried, startling me as he leaned over my shoulder. "You're always drawing Lou, but when Lou's not here you choose him instead of me? Is it because I'm not beautiful enough? Do you think they're prettier than me?! I fixed my hair extra nice for you today. Didn't you notice?" 

I huffed, but I wasn't truly annoyed with his pestering questions. Ichthys and I were friends, so it wasn't like I hadn't heard his fake whining before. "Why are you whining? You used to let me draw you when I was helping you with your sin. Besides, I know when you're faking being upset, you know."

"Aw, man," Ichthys crossed his arms, plopping on the sofa beside me. "I can't get away with anything around you. You're almost as scary as Zyg."

"Pfft, well you still don't have to whine about it. If you wanted me to draw for you, then you should've just asked." I gestured for him to move beside Partheno. "Go over there. I'll draw you together. I need to practice drawing more than one person in a portrait, anyway. Lou always says practice makes perfect."

With an excited squeal, Ichthys threw himself on top of a surprised Partheno who fussed, "She said to join me, not to jump on top of me like a child!" Usually, I was doing art with Tauxolouve so I was missing out on this kind of fun banter that the gods got into. Maybe I could convince Tauxolouve to do art with the other gods as well. I was sure some of them would appreciate us letting them join in on the creativity and fun. Ichthys would definitely enjoy me showing him how to draw something that wasn't a stick figure.

“(Naaaame),” Ichthys called from where he was sitting on top of Partheno’s lap, exactly where he plopped himself fifteen minutes ago. “Can I see it yet?”

“Give me a second.”

“How about now?”

“Almost.”

“Is it finished?”

“Hush! You're disrupting my creative process.”

He paused and Partheno taunted, “You're disrupting her creative process.”

Ichthys blinked, his face scrunching up in disbelief. “Really?”

“Pfft,” I chuckled, holding forth my sketchbook. “Nah, not really. Check this out! It's a real masterpiece if I do say so myself.”

“Hold on,” Partheno squinted his eyes, both of them leaning closer to the scratchy-looking pencil sketch. “Is that… I'm afraid I have to critique you. I would not wear a dress that looks like that if I were marrying anyone; least of all this fish.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Ichthys pouted, his eyes shifting from between my work and Partheno. “I think it looks great. All of your feminine qualities are showing. And I look super… Uh… Super manly?”

I shrugged my shoulders. Maybe if Ichthys hadn't thrown himself on top of Partheno, then I wouldn't have been tempted to make them a married couple. “I just call it how I see it. Maybe next time act less like a married couple and I'll consider actually drawing what's in front of me?”

“Don't do that,” Ichthys immediately argued, looking severely disappointed at my threat. “I like when you add things to your art! It makes it funny.”

“Funny, huh?” Partheno inclined his head, flicking Ichthys in the forehead. “Next time, give this fish an actual fish head.”

“I’ll definitely have to consider it,” I offered, glancing between him and Ichthys. “But couldn’t you just snap your fingers and give him a fish head yourself?” They were definitely a strange pair, but at least they kept me amused for the day. 

“Now there’s an idea,” Partheno hummed, glancing Ichthys up and down.

Ichthys glared at me, his eyebrows furrowing together. “What?! Why are you two ganging up on me like that? I need someone on my side too!”

Seeing that he was prepared to flee from the living room, I quickly latched on him, pinning him to the sofa. “Oh, no you don’t! Where do you get it would be fair to me if you go get another god? Right now it’s just a god versus a god and a human. You can’t cheat your way out of this one. C’mon, Partheno! Hit him!”

Having my assistance, it was pretty easy for Partheno to snap his fingers, turning Ichthys’ head into that of a fish. “There. Now he’s a Pisces.”

I tilted my head, my eyebrows furrowing. “Hey… if Pisces is a fish… then… Should Virgo be a beautiful lady?”

Ichthys quickly snapped his fingers, turning his head back to normal as he stuck his tongue out at Partheno. “Yeah! Your manly appearance is upsetting (Name).”

“Is it?” Partheno glanced himself over. He thought he was fine as the god of beauty—but if I wanted to see him as a woman… He hummed, snapping his fingers. We didn’t expect him to turn himself into a woman without Ichthys giving him a push. But… my cheeks turned hot with how she obviously was trying to over-do her seductiveness. “I had no idea you swung in that direction, dear. Wouldn’t Louie be so jealous to find out you prefer women?”

I scrambled to get off of Ichthys who was amused by how flustered I was getting over a female Partheno. Ichthys laughed, grabbing my arms as he pulled me back onto his lap. “You’re not afraid of Lady Partheno, are you? Do you like her?”

“Ah, stop teasing me,” I shouted at them. “I’m dating Lou! You back off or- or Lou’s going to yell at you!”

Ichthys tilted his head, his index finger tapping his chin curiously. “Come to think of it… I don’t think I’ve ever heard Tauxolouve raise his voice at anyone other than me. Partheno, how would you feel getting yelled at by him?”

Placing a delicate hand on her chest, Partheno answered, “As a woman, I’d be absolutely appalled to have a man yell at me.” Still, winking at me, she pulled me into her arms, swinging me around to where my back was pressed into her chest. “But aren’t you lucky? He’s in the Heavens working and I have an adorable little thing like you to play with.” Leaning forward, her cheek pressed against my head. “Don’t you want to know what a goddess feels like?”

“I… Ah… Uh…”

“(Name)?” Three pairs of eyes flickered to the door of the living room. 

“L- Lou!” I stuttered, catching sight of my boyfriend who looked fairly disturbed by the scene laid out before him. I said that Tauxolouve would yell at Partheno and Ichthys, but now that he was there, I didn’t actually want him to be yelling at anyone. 

Overwhelming confusion when a smile crossed his lips quashed my anxiety over his arrival. “What’s going on here, little lady? Have you found yourself a lady friend to occupy yourself with while I was gone?”

“But…” I faltered… “This is…”

“Of course it is,” He interrupted me, making me freeze in anticipation. “Partheno,” he paused. “Ichthys,” he paused a second time, his eyes narrowing on the two as his smile made an unsettling combination with his glare. “Do you two have a death wish I can grant?”

“Not at all,” Partheno said, quick to snap his fingers, turning back into his usual self before directing me straight into the vicinity of my boyfriend. Quickly retreating to where Ichthys had scurried off to, he added, “We were just keeping your darling company while you were gone. We’ll just leave you two lovebirds to it now…” 

The room fell silent with the absence of the other gods. Tauxolouve still appeared pretty tense, and I quickly averted my gaze. Quietly, I offered, “They were just messing around. You know how they are. You weren’t… seriously mad at them, were you?”

He sighed, but he didn’t offer me anything else. Clearly, he was fed up with the other gods for the moment. “Let’s go back to my room.” Without waiting for me to follow, he took my hand in his, pulling me to his room. Usually he waited for me to at least say ‘okay,’ but I quickly realized he was in a less than stellar mood. Maybe I should have put a stop to Ichthys and Partheno’s antics sooner… 

Tauxolouve’s room was less depressing than usual. I noticed he’d put more of his own works up besides mine. 

My gaze returned to him as soon as he released my hand, closing the door behind us. Though, he elected to leave me standing at the entrance as he moved to sit on his bed. His elbows sat on his knees and his fingers laced together as they rested against his lips. His eyes were glued to the floor, very intent on not looking at me. 

Awkwardly, my gaze trailed across his newly decorated walls. Deciding to turn his room into an art studio was definitely the right choice. Seeing the natural colors across the different sized canvases brought a life that wasn’t there before. It was embarrassing that most of the paintings were ones he had done of me or that I had attempted to do of him, but if it made him happy then he was free to decorate his room as he pleased. 

However… my eyes fell back to the stoic god that sat on the bed. He didn’t look very happy now, and that was probably my fault, leaving a pit of guilt in my stomach. “Lou?” I called his name carefully, not receiving a hint of a reaction. “I’m sorry… they took things too far while you were gone. They were just teasing me. I know you don’t like that.” I fell quiet, and he didn’t speak up. The sight of him ignoring me was enough to chip at my delicate heart.

I couldn’t let him ignore me like that, I couldn’t handle it. Walking up beside him, I took my shoes off before climbing up onto the bed. He shifted as if to see what I was doing, but I simply wrapped my arms around him from behind, my fingers interlacing over his heart. I pressed my forehead into his back as I held him tight. Finally, he whispered my name, “(Name)?”

“Lou,” my voice cracked. “I’m sorry… Please, don’t be mad at me. I was just waiting for you to come home. I won’t let them do it again.”

Feeling my arms quiver around him, he took my hands in his own, turning around to face me. As soon as he took in my expression, he reached out, gently wiping my tears. “Don’t cry, little lady. I wasn’t upset with you. I won’t let them do that to you again.” His eyebrows furrowed. “What did I even walk in on?”

Wouldn’t it make him more upset to hear the explanation? Still, he deserved answers to his questions, at the very least. “They were just making fun of me, saying that you’d be jealous if I liked women more than you. But, I’m dating you, Lou. It doesn’t matter what anyone else’s gender is; they’re not you.”

He huffed, shaking his head at their antics. They were always trying to get a rise out of me. “How typical of them,” Tauxolouve sighed, passing his fingers through my hair as if to soothe me. “I’ll have to make sure those gods know who you belong to. I’m the only one who can tease you until your cheeks light up.” Leaning closer, his lips pressed against my forehead. “So tell me… would you prefer me if I were a man or a woman?”

Knocking my fist into his chest, I whined, “Don’t you start too!” I muttered quietly, “I’d love you no matter what gender you were. I love being with you, Lou. I love you, Tauxolouve, my God of Sagittarius.”

Caressing my hair, he chuckled. “You sound very romantic right now. If you keep declaring your love to me, I might just have to do something to keep you talking.”

“Do something to keep me talking?”

“Well,” he shrugged. “Maybe talking isn’t the right word. I should say moaning my praises is more where I was going.”

“Lou!”

“Are you against spending the night with me? You waited all day for me. I have to give my love something in return for her loyalty. I’ll even give you a nice bath later. Say yes for me?”

I pressed my lips against his, pulling away just enough to breathe, “Yes…”

***

After that day, the gods were extremely hesitant to tease me as they usually did. I was relieved that they’d backed off, but it felt more quiet and sad in the mansion without their usual banter with me. I mean, it’s not that they completely stopped talking to me—we were still friends and hung out in the living room while I waited for Tauxolouve. I just felt like everything lacked its usual energy. 

On the other hand, Tauxolouve seemed oddly more intense in everything he did. When he painted me or when I painted him, everything felt far more intimate. It wasn’t an unpleasant thing to be so close with my boyfriend… but he seemed like he was getting more… possessive? I could have been overthinking things, but I tried to ignore my ‘warning’ feelings. It wasn’t like Tauxolouve would ever hurt me or any of my other friends. 

Still, the anxious feeling wouldn’t leave me alone as I returned to the mansion on my day off, searching for Tauxolouve who wasn’t there once again. As usual, it didn’t bother me. But instead of going to find the other gods, I settled with going to wait in Tauxolouve’s room, hoping the comfort of being around my boyfriend’s things would help me feel better. 

If anything, I loved that Tauxolouve was a dedicated boyfriend. I never had to worry about him cheating on me or neglecting me. Though… we could have done without how pouty he got when I hung out with Dui and Krioff—it wasn’t like either of them ever messed with me like Ichthys and Partheno enjoyed doing. Well… Shadow Dui was occasionally there, but he never intentionally pushed Tauxolouve’s buttons.

Sitting on Tauxolouve’s bed, I hummed to myself. What were ways I could push Lou’s buttons? Taking a glance around his room, my eyes fell on the door of his closet. Tilting my head, I wondered if he had any of his clothes in there or if he just snapped his clothes on and off. I knew he was too clumsy to dress himself the manual way without help. Curiously, I walked over to his closet, taking a peek inside. 

Unfortunately, there were no clothes inside but there were certainly some ugly coats. My nose scrunched up. There was no way those were for him and I prayed to god he didn’t get them for me. Why were they even stuffed in his closet like that? If I thought they were bad, I’d hate to hear Partheno’s condescending review as the god of beauty.

Shoving them aside to search for anything that I’d usually see Tauxolouve in, my eyes widened. Was that… a secret door? What would he have something like that for? Unless those coats were just to cover up his real closet where the real fashion was. I knew he was more stylish than that.

Confidently shoving my way past the coats, I stumbled through the door, finding the room exceedingly dark, only illuminated by the lights that came from the excessively enormous walls. More than a closet, this was like a trophy room. 

Only… my heart stuttered. 

What… What were those?

Almost tripping over my feet, I rushed closer to the wall, my eyes scanning the glimmering images that lined the walls. There were… hundreds. Maybe more. But… were they all of me?! Trying to get a closer look, my face contorted in confusion. These didn’t look like paintings. These looked like images frozen in time—like photographs but… not. They looked like they were… water? Wait! Were these images frozen and taken directly from the reflection pool? No wonder they all gave off a faint glow.

My heart raced, but not in flattery. These looked like pictures from my everyday life. Is… that what Tauxolouve spent his time doing in the Heavens while working?! My eyes trailed over the hundreds of images, coming to a stop when my eyes caught a movement in the room's corner. It seemed like pictures were still being added… 

I froze in fear and realized that’s the exact expression that was staring back at me. This… had to stop. I didn’t like these images from every aspect of my life. Any normal person would call this stalking. Fleeing from the room, I carefully made sure everything was the way I first found it before I slammed the closet door shut. Turning to leave, a shrill yelp left my lips, adrenaline rushing through me as I found Tauxolouve standing in the doorway staring at me. 

He didn’t look distressed or anything, his face was relaxed as usual. He simply commented, “You look frazzled, little lady. What’s wrong?”

I faltered, refusing the urge to glance back at the closet door. But there were images in there that would prove my guilt—in fact, I was more than positive he was watching me through a reflection pool the whole time. He knew exactly what I did and what I saw. Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I questioned, “What was that?”

He hummed, wondering why I would’ve been so upset about it. “That’s my photography room. I’m sort of surprised it’s your first time seeing it. I like to keep images of things I love. Though, I have to say, I never would have come up with the idea if you hadn’t told me to decorate my room with things I love. Only… I had little wall-space out here since I wanted to decorate my room with paintings that you made yourself. Nothing makes me happier than seeing our work every day.”

My gaze flickered down to my hands that were nervously clasped in front of me, avoiding his gaze that I now knew was constantly on me every second of the day. Releasing a shaky breath, I raised my head, meeting his unwavering stare. Immediately, I wanted to look away, but I needed to show him I was serious about this. “I- I’m glad that you love me, Lou. But… this makes me uncomfortable. This wasn’t what I meant when I suggested decorating your room with things you like. The paintings… those are nice… but I don’t like you watching me all the time like that and then keeping every minute of my life on display.”

Things fell silent between us. I wasn’t sure how he was going to take my harsh criticism, but I needed to put my foot down. I couldn’t handle a relationship where even my privacy was being exploited by him. Besides… if that was what made him happy, then I wasn’t sure I wanted him to be that happy…

“I appreciate your feedback,” he said kindly, making me inwardly relieved that he was listening. Though, my relief was fleeting as he softly continued, “But this isn’t your room, is it? You didn’t have to go in that room; I placed separately it from this one so that you would be comfortable being in a room of our paintings. It would be pretty contradictory for you to tell me to do what I love and then come and tell me I can’t just because you personally don’t appreciate that aspect of my work.”

I scoffed, my lips drawing back in displeasure. “So you’re saying you made that spare room, assuming I’d be uncomfortable with it. Well, I am. I’m asking you to please stop because it makes me uncomfortable. I appreciate your art, and I could appreciate that you were getting into a completely new medium of photography, but I don’t like your subject matter. I don’t like you watching me like that.”

“I completely respect your opinion,” he said, reaching out his hand to calm me down, only I avoided his touch, stepping away from his advance. He wouldn’t smooth things over with a loving touch or two and ignore my concerns. He sighed. “You’re being difficult. Art that’s avant garde is difficult to accept sometimes, but you’re the love of my life. Aren’t you supposed to support my aspirations? I’m just trying to express my feelings for you. I have so much love for you, (Name).”

“Well, express your feelings differently,” I argued, on the verge of yelling at him to get my point across. I hated what he was doing, and he was refusing to stop. “I’m serious. You’re making me uncomfortable and you’re not listening to me. No, don’t call this ‘avant garde.’ That’s actual bull shit. This is borderline stalking that I didn't consent to.”

He huffed, an incredulous chuckle leaving his lips. “Is this going to be our first argument? Are you honestly going to fight me over the way I express my love for you? Is it honestly so bad to want to keep you frozen in time with me for all eternity?”

“The fact that you can’t recognize that it’s wrong to make me feel this uncomfortable with your art is the reason we’re arguing. So, yes, it’s bad.” Clenching my jaw together, I turned away from him, sighing heavily. “I… don’t want to fight with you like this.” 

Shaking my head, I moved to walk past him; only, he was quick to reach out and grab my arm. I knew he had a problem invading my privacy, but I didn’t think he’d stop me from leaving. Before I could yell at him, he asked, “You’re not leaving me now, are you? You’re going to break my heart yelling at me and then storming out. You told me you were going to help me make my room a happier place yet here you are yelling at me over what makes me happy and then abandoning me as if that’s all supposed to make me feel better.”

Trying to pull out of his grasp was useless as he refused to loosen his grip around my forearm. “If you weren’t being so petty then I might try to talk this out with you but why should I waste my breath on someone who isn’t listening to me?! I actually couldn’t care less about your room right now. This is not how I want to be treated by someone who loves me. Let me go, Tauxolouve.”

“What happened to ‘Lou’?” I flinched as he pinned me against his wall. His fingers curled under my chin, tilting my head up as he met my gaze with those seductive eyes of his. “You said a room should be filled with things you like.” It was something he kept reiterating over and over as if that was suddenly his life motto. Maybe I never should’ve told him that. If it would have salvaged our relationship, then maybe I should have left his room as depressing and unexpressive as it was. 

“You have more than enough personal items, I think,” I snapped back, tearing my gaze away from his. I wouldn’t let him reel me back in with his sad eyes and pretty face. “I don’t need this right now. I’m going home.”

His gaze fell. “I don’t think that’s going to happen.” Tauxolouve snapped his fingers, but I had to blink a few times, thinking my eyes were playing tricks on me. No, I prayed my eyes were playing tricks on me. 

But the coolness of the leather around my neck wasn’t a trick. Pulling away from Tauxolouve who had loosened his grip, I tugged at the collar. It was far from choking me, but there wasn’t a latch to take it off. It was just a singular ring of fabric that only he could choose to snap off. The only additional thing on the collar was the chain that was connected to the column by his bed. As far as I could tell, it was only long enough to let me reach the rooms closest to the bed, like the bathroom and the closet. The door to the hall was something just out of my reach. Returning to the bed’s column, I tugged on the chain from both ends, neither side giving any slack. 

There was no way he was seriously going to keep me chained up in his room… This was so much worse than him stalking me—it had to be a horribly timed joke. “Tauxolouve… This isn’t funny,” I whined, turning back to find him. “Stop messing around.” 

“Oh, I’m done messing around,” he said, his tone serious, matching his expression. I really didn’t like that expression on his face. It didn’t look like my Lou at all. But just as quick as it was there, he was back to smiling as if he were proud of himself. “You really tie this room together, (Name). Here… I’ll be able to paint you as much as I want.”

“Please,” I faltered, my fingers helplessly tugging the collar that refused to budge. “I don’t like this…”

“Well, I didn’t like the way you were leaving me, yet you had no problem doing that,” he admitted, returning to his bed to sit down now that he had everything solved. “That look on your face… you weren’t going to come back if I let you walk out. So, now you’re going to always be with me. You’re granting all of my wishes by being here for me.” Glancing over at me, he reached his hand out, a familiar soft smile gracing his features. It made my heart pang sadly, but I refused his offered hand. Still, he didn’t force me to join him on the bed. “If that room makes you uncomfortable… I’ll stop taking the pictures. I thought once I made an impressive collection that made my heart burst with love for you I could finally show you. I hadn’t even finished and still you hated me for it…” A soft sigh left his lips. “I’ll try to do better from now on. I’ll try to be the reliable boyfriend you can love again. I hate seeing you upset with me.”

It was one thing that he was giving up his passion for photography, but he had a chain keeping me trapped in his room! What the hell was he expecting?! “Tauxolouve…” My voice cracked, and I twisted my head away to hide my tears from him. “I always trusted you; I loved you so much. But everything you’ve been saying and doing has just been breaking my heart… I can’t handle this.” I flinched at feeling his hand on my shoulder, but he only pulled me toward him—an attempt to comfort me from his painful betrayal. I whispered, “I don’t want your comfort now… I don’t want you…”

“Shhh,” He hushed me, his lips pressing against my ear as he held me tight against his chest. “It’s okay. You’ll get used to living with me. You’re just upset because of our little argument; I understand. I wasn’t treating your concerns fairly. Don’t worry, you can feel however you need to feel. I won’t push aside your feelings, I’ll listen to you. I’m going to love you and take care of you.” I would have been thrilled to hear such words and promises leave his soft lips if he weren’t treating me like an animal, something under his ownership. Still, I knew my anger was misplaced against a god. It was useless now. The best I could do was bottle it up and save it for a better time. Sighing, Tauxolouve interpreted this as me relaxing in his arms. Stroking my back, he whispered, “Good… I love you, my beautiful sweetheart.”

***

It had been painstaking weeks that he locked me up in his room, having me entertain his every whim. If he wanted to paint me, it was all I could do to lay there and let him. If he wanted to massage me, he didn’t ask as his fingers danced across my skin. If he wanted to take a bath with me it was nothing for him to make the quiet request and find me in the bathroom not ten minutes later waiting for him. The other gods? They were concerned about me, of course. It was only Tauxolouve who threw them off by convincing them I was getting over an illness. This received various reactions, including Huedhaut offering Tauxolouve various books on human health and some homemade medicine for me. How unfortunate that wouldn’t help my case. If Huedhaut really wanted to be helpful, he should have sent a knife or something sharp enough to cut the god-forsaken collar off my neck!

The only thing that could save me at this point was me. Using all this time to gain Tauxolouve’s trust was worth it as he left me alone in his room with his painting supplies. Did I want to paint something for him? No. I just wanted his palette knife—it was the only unsuspecting thing I could even think to use to cut through the collar. It wasn’t sharp, but it was made of metal and I wasn’t squandering my chances. 

My heart raced at each minute that passed. The longer I remained stuck here, the sooner Tauxolouve would return. Ever since he agreed to stop stalking me from the reflection pool, his next best bet was hurrying to do his work in the Heavens in order to quickly return to me. That didn’t give me much alone time at all. 

Snap

I flinched, the metal chains hitting the floor with a clatter as the collar fell from my neck. Tossing the metal knife aside, I grabbed the small band of leather that had been keeping me trapped there all those weeks. At the very least, I was taking it with me—not for sentimental purposes, but if I were to be caught by another god… I didn’t want to be returned to Tauxolouve’s room. As a last resort, I could use it to prove what Tauxolouve was doing to me. Unless… they were all on his side. 

My best bet was to avoid all the gods together. The fewer witnesses to see me leave, the better. Only… that was easier said than done in a mansion of 12 zodiac gods. It seemed I was destined to fail. Not ten minutes out of Tauxolouve’s room, I ran into Aigonorus who was staring at me intently. His gaze made my heart drop as I waited impatiently for him to either act on my escape or say something. 

“I thought you were sick.” His blunt statement made a sigh of relief leave my lips. 

“Yeah,” I hesitantly agreed, coming up with a story on the spot. “But I’ve been feeling better. I was just going to go out for a bit… I’ll be back later though, so no one has to worry.” 

Aigonorus’ eyebrows furrowed and my heart raced in anxiety. I thought it was a pretty convincing story, but he didn’t look sold. It took him a moment of silence before he asked, “Can one of my heralds go with you? The human world’s been pretty rough lately and Lou would be upset if something happened to you.”

I wondered… if Aigonorus’ heralds could sense ill-intentions like other animals could. They were divine beasts, surely their instincts were far superior to a normal animal. “O- Okay… That’s fine.” Maybe I’d feel safer with one of his heralds anyway. 

Accepting the offered protection, I left the mansion with the fairly large goat without running into any other gods. I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do with Aigonorus’ herald since I didn’t actually have any intention of returning to the mansion. Did this mean the goat would just follow me until I returned? Or would Aigonorus just summon it back whenever he decided I was gone for too long?

I successfully made my escape from Tauxolouve, but what was my next step? I couldn’t go home, I’d easily be found. Hell… he would probably search the reflection pool as soon as he found me gone. I’d be found within the next 24 hours, that was for sure. So, what to do with my temporary freedom… and a goat? 

I came to a halt as my knees hit the firm body of the divine animal in front of me. “Huh…?” The goat stood firmly between me and the path ahead, its eyes locked on the empty road before us. “H- Hey, what are you doing? I have a limited window here, buddy. You better think about moving or I’ll tell Aigonorus that my guard was a pretty stubborn choice.” I didn’t think it could understand me, but with the way it turned its head toward me and started ushering me with its horns back toward the mansion, I assumed I offended it. “I was just kidding! We’re not going back to the mansion, little guy!” Though, trying to get around the herald, it refused to let me pass. “Honestly, what is wrong with divine beings and telling me what to do and what not to do?”

“Don’t worry. We’re not divine beings, so maybe you’ll obey us without trouble.”

My head snapped up at the sound of that familiar voice. The herald turned around as well, standing in front of me like the guardian that it was. It had been a long time since I’d seen anyone from the Under Realm. It was strange to see Servillah again, especially in the forest that was so close to the mansion. But these dark gods always came in pairs, and I turned quickly, rightfully expecting the second of them to be behind me. 

Crow chuckled at how fast I turned to find him. “You’re pretty clever. I’m honored that you remembered me from our last meeting, goddess of fate. What’s this little pet you have with you? A gift from that god?”

“My guard,” I answered sharply. Though, I wondered if I should willingly go with these guys instead of letting Tauxolouve lock me away again. I faltered, a dangerous idea entering my head. If I let them take me, Tauxolouve would come to save me in no time… But he’s just a demigod against two dark gods. …Still, did I hate Tauxolouve enough to want him to die over this? Did I want freedom that badly to risk the entire world?

Lost in my own thoughts, it startled me when Crow lunged at me, causing the herald to charge forward, landing a direct hit on him. Only, this left me open for Servillah who was quick to grab me while simultaneously landing an attack on the goat. My eyes widened as the goat cried out before vanishing. Did they just kill it? 

Servillah huffed in disappointment. “That was easy for a divine beast. C’mon. Let’s go before those gods come to interfere.” It was terrifying to be dragged around by dark gods, especially when I was brought to the under realm where I could hardly breathe without choking on the air. “You’re absolutely weak. Good thing all we need in there is your soul.”

“Wait…” I muttered quietly. What possessed me to go to dark gods with a request like this? Couldn’t I have just gotten help from one of the other gods? No… They’d have been on Tauxolouve’s side. These dark gods are the only ones who didn’t care about anything besides their dark king. “I… I’d like to make a deal.” 

Both their faces scrunched up, disbelieving what I was saying. Glancing at each other, Servillah took the bait and asked, “And what’s that? We’re not sending you back to those gods.”

“That’s not it,” I shook my head, my heart thrumming in my chest. “I want to know if it’s possible for you to kill a god… a demigod,” I corrected myself. They needed to know exactly what they were going to be dealing with. 

Their eyes widened. I could see the wheels turning in their head that they must be jumping to the wrong conclusion—but they were right. I wanted them to kill someone. Crow’s eyes narrowed as he finally asked, “What’s the deal?”

“I’ll give you my soul… If you can stop that demigod from getting me.”

Servillah scoffed, grabbing my arm to continue dragging me as he lost interest in my offer. “What the hell do you think we mean when we say we’re taking your soul for our King? It doesn’t matter if that god dies, you’re gonna die, regardless.” That’s right… taking my soul meant I was going to die—Zyglavis had explained that to me once. But if Aigonorus found out that his goat died protecting me then that only meant that Tauxolouve was going to show up soon. 

“I don’t care,” I uttered, my eyes glued to the ground as I tried my best not to trip over my own two feet. “What’s the point of being alive if… if I’m - I can’t livI know he’s going to come… I just want to know if you’re powerful enough to kill a crn obsessedmigod.”

Crow scoffed, following close behind Servillah as they dragged me to where they were intent on resurrecting their Dark King. “What a pathetic goldfish… choosing to die over being saved by a god.” Yet again, the two dark gods glanced at each other. They played it off that they weren’t concerned with anyone coming after me… but if I feared getting rescued by a god, then they weren’t entirely sure they wanted to keep me for longer than necessary. The best thing they could do is resurrect their King and let him deal with the crazy god. Crow muttered, “Let’s hurry and get this over with.” The two seemed to agree at least.

Did I want to die…? Not really. Still, I meant what I said. Maybe if I were lucky, the two dark gods would kill Tauxolouve and then the other gods could rescue me. At least then I’d be free. But what were the chances of that happening? A short scream left my lips as a flash of light skimmed past me, hitting the ground ahead of us. 

Servillah spun around, his eyes locking onto the god that hovered above us with his bow in one hand and an arrow of divine light in the other. Servillah hissed, “The god of Sagittarius…” They wouldn’t be able to do their job if this god was hovering. Shoving me into the arms of Crow, Servillah said, “Go summon him. I’ll handle this half-god.”

Only… that’s not how things were going to go. Tauxolouve had his own plans, and he wouldn’t let these dark gods get away with stealing me for their own means. It was bad enough that I’d willingly run off. His divine powers only seemed to grow in tandem with his desperation to get me back. Sending a singular arrow to make Crow pause, the second was enough extra time for him. He impaled an arrow through Servillah with his quick descent, his eyes landing on Crow.

Now… Servillah wasn’t dead just yet, but Tauxolouve’s intention wasn’t to kill them right away. They threatened his love’s life. They didn’t deserve a merciful death—they were demons. 

Crow glared at the god before us before promising, “This human belongs to our Dark King! Whether or not you kill us… she won’t live long enough.” As if to keep his word, he shoved me backwards, a door slamming shut in front of me as I stumbled to the floor. 

Frantically, I glanced around the dark space, realizing I was cut off from the fight outside. This palace was likely for the Dark King, but he wasn’t resurrected. As far as I was aware, I was trapped in there until either side came out victorious. But that look in Tauxolouve’s eyes terrified me… Did he really mean to nearly hit me with that arrow? As the God of Sagittarius, his aim was true. There was no way he was aiming for Crow or Servillah… but why? 

Scrambling back to my feet, I glanced down the hall, cautiously making my way through the dim halls. The air of the under realm was enough to suffocate me, but I couldn’t sit there and wait for the victor to come to me. At the very least, I could postpone my fate. 

***

Tauxolouve hated this. Taking down two dark gods was nothing for him, but now he was back to tracking me down. Hadn’t I ran for long enough? Was his warning not good enough to stick in my head? If I’d rather die than be with him, then he’d show me just what a mistake that was. 

He took his time with extinguishing the two dark gods, momentarily wielding their powers for his own use. It wasn’t like I could go very far, it wouldn’t take him long to track me down. Those pitter patters coming from down the hall… that was me scrambling around for an exit. His heart ached at the thought that I’d be trying to run from him so desperately. Well, perhaps I had a right to do so. After all, Tauxolouve had no intention of holding back this time. Everything was clear to him now.

***

Every house had a back door, didn’t it? Well, this wasn’t a house but still! There had to be an exit, at least some way to get out! After hearing the door that separated us slam into a wall, I knew their fight was long over. No matter how I looked at it… even if I escaped this palace, there was no way for me to escape the under realm without help. 

I stared helplessly at the wall that ran down two separate halls. There were two directions to pick from, but nowhere that could save me from the inevitable. 

“You know… this is funny,” Tauxolouve’s voice made me shiver as he slowly approached. 

Though, turning around, my eyes widened as my heart stuttered. Why was his bow ready at his side as if he were ready to attack… me? I willed my legs to back away from him, my eyes trained on the arrow that could lift to me at any second. “There’s nothing funny about this situation, Lou… You need to calm down!” I wanted him to put his weapon away.

“You’re the one yelling,” he pointed out, his expression uncharacteristically blank. 

“You’re…” I faltered, almost too panicked to come up with a convincing argument when I didn’t even know what was going on in his head. “This is out of hand. Aren’t you… overreacting…?”

“Overreacting?” He repeated, testing the word on his lips before shaking his head. “But… maybe I should apologize first. I’m terribly sorry. This is my fault, isn’t it? If I had explained everything while you were still being good and obedient for me then things wouldn’t have gotten this far and I wouldn’t have to instill this into you now.” He sighed, almost sounding disappointed with the way things turned out. “You know… my power allows me to see the death of the person I kiss. I’ve never understood why you were always going to die by my hand… not until now.”

I froze in fear as he pulled his arrow back, tilting the bow upward until I was left staring down the edge of a light-made arrow. “L- Lou… Please, you can’t just…” I trailed off. What did he really want to hear right now? He wasn’t serious, was he? He never hinted that he would be the one to kill me—that kind of thing isn’t just something you can hide from the person you’re holding captive! “I- I’m sorry if you’re mad about me running off! I didn’t know-”

“Don’t apologize now. You’ll be okay,” he said, offering me a gentle smile without lowering his weapon. “I’m going to kill you.”

***

Tauxolouve sighed, his weapon vanishing from his hands. He wasn’t sure he could bring himself to actually kill me as soon as he saw the tears rolling down my cheeks. But in the end, I let this entire thing happen. If I’d stayed in his room, then fate might have been kinder. 

His fingers gently trailed over my cheeks, wiping the tears that had fallen. He noted how warm my body was, though he knew it wouldn’t stay that way for long if he didn’t act quickly. Taking me into his arms, he made a swift return to the mansion. Of course, he expected the discord. 

“So…” Leon stared evenly at Tauxolouve, not betraying his emotions. “The dark gods failed to bring back the dark king… but they still got away with one last act.” 

The living room was silent, no god daring to speak during such a grave moment. Tauxolouve had failed to save me—no one was willing to point that out. It still made quite an impact as Tauxolouve requested, “Let me use the stars in my eyes. Let me bring her back.”

Partheno’s eyebrows furrowed as he asked, “What are you trying to do? (Name)’s… gone. Is this worth weakening yourself over?”

Ichthys quickly stood from the sofa, his eyes flickering between me, Tauxolouve, and Partheno. “I’ll heal her. If you use your stars, I’ll heal her wounds.”

Their gazes snapped to the young god and Partheno started, “Ichthys-”

“We’re not permitted to interfere in human life or death,” Karno reiterated the law that was going through all their heads. But, he added with a hopeful gaze, “But (Name) didn’t die on Earth. We failed to protect her… It’s only right that we fix this.” His eyes trailed back to Tauxolouve. “Are you willing to make this sacrifice for her?” 

They all knew the answer was yes. Tauxolouve was nothing if not a devoted boyfriend. “I’ll do anything for her. Even if it means facing the repercussions of what those dark gods did…”

This time it was Dui who worriedly asked, “Won’t this severely weaken the Department of Wishes?”

Leon scoffed, glancing at Huedhaut before he watched with careful eyes as Tauxolouve was setting me on the sofa next to Ichthys. Quietly, Leon commented, “We’ve handled it once before. They’ve made their decisions. You best worry about your fish.” Their eyes flickered to Ichthys who didn’t seem to care much about restraining his powers for me. 

Still, Leon was by Tauxolouve’s side for the exchange. He knew Tauxolouve would be weak afterwards and was prepared to offer his power to keep him stable.

While most of the worry was on the health of Tauxolouve and Ichthys, they also expected me to have a harsh reaction upon waking up. Dying was a pretty scarring experience—if only they knew why this particular murder was scarring. 

My hands weakly grasped at my chest as I gasped for air. My vision blurred and my world spun around me as I tried to regain my bearings, sitting up on the sofa. I was sure I died… So where was I? I squeezed my eyes shut, doing my best to restore my vision. Only, maybe it was too soon to do so. Opening my eyes, a shudder ran through my body at finding Tauxolouve staring down at me. I couldn’t register what was going on, all my body knew was to go. 

Fleeing was much harder than it looked, however. The minute I was on my feet and trying to run, I stumbled into the arms of another god. “H- Hey,” Dui, stuttered, trying to keep me on my feet. “You can’t be moving around like that.”

“(Name), please, your body is still weak, sit down,” Tauxolouve tried to direct, unable to get to me himself since he still needed Leon to keep him standing. In fact, he looked on the verge of passing out if not for being held up. Tauxolouve still tried to soothe my panic, “The dark gods aren’t here. They’ve been taken care of. The dark king won’t be revived.”

“I don’t give a shit about the dark gods,” I growled back, pulling out of Dui’s arms only to trip forward and land in the waiting arms of Huedhaut who was trying to get me to calm down. I couldn’t wrap my mind around it. Were all the gods in cahoots now? Didn’t they care Tauxolouve was a killer? Why were they on his side and not mine? Clutching my chest, searching for the gaping wound from his arrow I stuttered, “Why… Why am I back here? Why am I alive?”

Teorus leaned closer, his hand rubbing against my head, hoping that it would comfort me. “Lou gave his stars to save you, (Name). Don’t worry, those nasty dark gods can’t come back for you. They were all taken care-”

“The dark gods?” I repeated, my blurred eyes locking onto Tauxolouve who was staring at me evenly. I wasn’t allowed to pull away from Huedhaut who was trying to make sure I didn’t hurt myself. My frantic clawing at his hands to release me wasn’t helping my case. “Bullshit!” I howled, my terrified glare boring into him. “He killed me!” My accusation made the other gods regard Tauxolouve with as much surprise as confusion, but I wasn’t finished. “He shot me with one of his arrows! The dark gods saved me from him!”

As weak as Tauxolouve was, he logically explained, “The dark gods got into your head, (Name). Don’t you remember? I’m your boyfriend.”

“No,” I uttered. My boyfriend wouldn’t have raised a weapon to me. “No, no! Stop lying! Stop it!”

I screamed at the weak god, only making Huedhaut’s grip around my waist grow firmer. “Calm down, you’re going to over-work yourself. Look. He won’t hurt you and you have all of us here with you. Don’t you trust us?”

I thought I trusted these gods… but they were siding with him. They didn’t believe me because he already put lies in their heads. “I don’t,” I hissed, glaring at Huedhaut with trembling lips. They were from the Department of Wishes… they were Tauxolouve’s friends, of course they would side with him. The only person who would probably listen would be Zyglavis—the unbiased hand of justice…

Huedhaut rubbed his fingers across my forehead delicately. “What did that monster put into your head?” He sighed.

“I think we’ll need time to recover,” Tauxolouve suggested, some strength back in him thanks to Leon’s powers. “It just breaks my heart to see her hate me so…” He put on the saddest pair of eyes he could muster as I openly tried to kill him with my glower. “It’s difficult to admit, but I can’t send her home in this condition. As her lover, I’m naturally obligated to care for her. I think it would be best for me to return her proper mindset on my own. What do you think, Hue?”

Huedhaut hummed, his eyes scanning me before he nodded his head. “If you think you can handle taking care of her, I have no reason to object. You were there when they manipulated her, after all. It may be best for you to handle her mental health from here on out—it will provide stability of care, in any case.”

None of them understood what they were doing. Huedhaut didn’t even realize he was betraying me for a monster. Not a single god present understood that they were agreeing to let this man lock me up in his room for no reason other than his own selfish and sinful desires. 

Distressed tears rolling down my cheeks, I screamed, “I hate you!” The gods in the room flinched in surprise. They’d never heard me so distressed and so vengeful toward anyone before. If anything, this was proving Tauxolouve’s point even further. But the god most familiar with the under realm was Zyglavis. My thoughts returned to him again. He’d be able to vouch for me. This wasn’t the work of dark powers, this was Tauxolouve. Helpless, I did the only thing I could. Swinging my elbow back, Huedhaut’s head reeled back from the impact. With his grip loosened enough for me to escape, I ran from the living room. 

Immediately, Tauxolouve was on my case, but his energy was still low from giving me his stars. Unfortunately, he had to rely on another god to catch me. Fortunately for him, he knew Karno and Aigonorus were on his side in thinking I desperately needed their help. My frantic little show to get away from him just proved how warped my mind was. I needed Tauxolouve and even the wise man Huedhaut could agree with him. 

I ran through the hall, but even I knew I couldn’t outrun gods. I only prayed that I’d be able to reach Zyglavis—someone who’d believe me, or at least take my words without a grain of salt. Only, the minute I saw Scorpio down the hall, I couldn’t run fast enough as a shorter form appeared in front of me and I tripped on the floor. Aigonorus had summoned one of his stupid goats!

Scorpio’s eyes widened as I laid sprawled at his feet. “What the hell…”

Before I could shove myself off of the floor, arms wrapped around me and they pulled me into a chest. “Let go,” I screamed, desperately trying to break away from my captor. “Don’t bring me back!” This was really life or death in my eyes. I didn’t want to be stuck with him, the man who killed me in cold blood.

Aigonorus tried his best not to get hit by me as I struggled in his arms. He looked frantically toward Karno. “W- What do I do?”

Scorpio’s confused eyes flickered between the gods, not receiving any answer as to what was going on in front of him. Finally, he snapped, “What the hell is wrong with the goldfish?”

“The dark gods have manipulated her,” Karno explained, his pitying eyes trailing over me. “She thinks Lou is trying to kill her… We can’t send her home like this, she might get hurt or hurt someone else. All we can do is give it time and let Lou try to help her.”

“No!” My voice only grew louder, startling Aigonorus. 

Karno winced, finally deciding. “We don’t have a choice… She needs to sleep.”

Aigonorus nodded his head, holding my struggling form down. However, like a light at the end of a tunnel, I found Zyglavis walking down the hall toward me. I desperately tried to pull from Aigonorus’s arms, but he snapped his fingers and my vision blurred. “N- No… Zyg…la…vis…”

***

It was considerably quiet compared to how it was when I first woke up in the living room. By now I understood perfectly well that Tauxolouve had manipulated the other gods into thinking I was simply ‘unwell’. Telling the truth would have been too difficult for him. So, I wasn’t that surprised to find myself back in Tauxolouve’s bed. I expected to be discarded there, left to Tauxolouve’s mercy. 

But around my ankles were silver clasps that were connected to chains that trailed off the edge of the bed. The length of the chain gave a very slim opportunity for movement—not that I had the energy to move, anyway. My mind felt like it was covered with fog, making it difficult to take in my situation as it was. Sitting up was a lethargic process itself as I tried to investigate my new situation.

Did the gods do this to me for my own good… Or was this more of Tauxolouve’s handiwork? He had me in a collar before… I wasn't about to put this past him. But with the behaviors of the other gods, I wasn't sure I would put this past them either. Huedhaut was more than willing to agree with Tauxolouve’s suggestions. After all… Tauxolouve, more than anyone else in the world, had my best interest at heart. Didn't he?

My eyes flickered to the door, finding Tauxolouve smiling in the doorframe. It wasn't a malicious smile or a smile of restrained anger, as I would have expected. This smile was… soft, one of love and affection. 

Those eyes made my heart stutter, and I quickly averted my gaze, glaring at the shimmering chains. He didn't have the right to look at me like that after everything he had done. 

I refused to return his gaze as the door clicked closed and he approached the bed. Finally, he broke the silence, “I'm glad you're awake. I was worried Aigonorus might have hurt you with his powers. I would have had to address him about it… But seeing you awake makes me feel very warm inside. I'm glad you're back, (Name). It was torture having you away from me for so long. Aren't you glad to be back home?”

I pursed my lips, my gaze narrowing on the chains that bound me to his room. “This isn't my home.” There was no point in mincing words. I didn't need to pretend to love him, he didn't pretend like he wasn't my captor. 

The bed dipped, but thankfully he hardly moved closer as he quietly coaxed, “I know it might feel less like home with the chains… But you terrified me and the other gods. It devastated me when you ran off and were taken by those dark gods.”

He fell silent. It went unspoken, but we both knew my escape was deliberate. My trip to the under realm with Crow and Servillah was also willing. “You deserve to know what fear feels like. You could never understand what you put me through.”

“Please, don't say that,” his voice cracked as he almost desperately reached for my hand. He didn't allow me to pull away from his touch as his fingers painfully tightened around my wrist. My eyes flickered up to his, finding the tears that were nearly ready to spill. “I was terrified… I knew what I had to do when I found you down there. I knew you would die. I just…” He faltered, the tears finally dripping down his cheeks as he desperately pulled my frozen body into his arms. “I just didn't know if I'd be able to bring you back to me once I'd done it! I was terrified I'd have to live out the rest of my life with the memory of you. That thought scares me and really hurts me.”

He acted… as if he had the right to be crying on my shoulder. He didn't have to point that arrow at me. He didn't have to go after me at all. He could've considered me a loss and cried about it with the other gods. Why did he act like he's the one who just experienced the greatest tragedy of our time when I was the one who was murdered by him?! 

I hissed, “You mean you'd have to live with the fact that you’re a killer!” He stared at me like a confused child as I shoved him away, putting space between us, lest I lash out and try to unsuccessfully kill him myself. “You're making this sob story and lying to the other gods. I wish you'd have had to suffer alone for what you did! I won't be your shoulder to cry on! I'll never stop trying to leave, to escape, to run away from you.” 

First, he was happy to find me awake. Then, he turned into a pitiful mess at recalling the ‘tragedy’ that befell him. But… The fire behind those eyes of his was something that sent shivers down my spine. How could a fire be so cold? 

Slowly, he finally said, “You don't really have any more chances at life.” Turning away, he took a moment to collect himself before continuing with his threat. “I can't sacrifice any more stars for you, and I sincerely doubt any of the other gods will feel as inclined as I was to use the stars in their eyes for you. After all, it would be tragic for you to run off and have an unforgiving accident. As much as I loathe the idea of you not existing in this world with me… I loathe even more the idea of you existing with anyone who isn't me. Leave me again and you won't be coming back.” He blinked, his eyes slowly trailing up to meet mine. “Do you understand what kind of position you're in now?” 

Did I understand? Of course, I did! I was in the hands of a psycho! How could he be so calm when threatening my life like that? It was as if our past together suddenly meant absolutely nothing to him. I couldn't help but wonder if this was how he always felt about our relationship or if this was fairly new. 

“(Name),” he called my name again, his eyes narrowing dangerously. “Do you understand what's expected of you?”

I faltered, unsure of what to answer at first. At the very least, I knew how to survive with Tauxolouve and that had to count for something. Hesitantly, I nodded my head. “Y- Yes… I do.”

All I could do to live was stay calm and take rational actions. Eventually, maybe not soon, but eventually I’d convince one of the other gods to save me from my dire situation. Would I survive then? I couldn't say. All that mattered in my mind was giving Tauxolouve the ending he deserved. I didn't really care what the other gods did once they realized his crimes; it was none of my business. But I'd have my justice. 

After the cool threat to get me to behave around him, Tauxolouve did a fairly good job at taking care of me. I couldn't say the food was anything less than extravagant, especially when Tauxolouve was hand feeding me to ensure I wouldn't attempt to stab him in the back with so much as a spoon—or better yet, escape again.

I was back in the same habits as before my grand failure of an escape. If he said it was time for a bath, it was time for a bath. If he said it was time to exercise to preserve my muscles, then I'd better be moving in the next ten minutes or he was dragging me out of bed and to my doom. If he said it was time to go outside, he would take me outside—but god forbid I make any unnecessary movements that might make him think I was trying to flee. 

It was bad enough he trusted me so little as to ban me from wearing shoes. After all, I couldn't run very far with nothing to protect my fragile human feet, as my captor said. In a way, he was right. Even if I made it outside the mansion, I'd be much slower than I would be if I had shoes.

It was difficult being around the man responsible for my death… How could I face the very god who sent an arrow through my heart? How could I have not been deathly terrified of Tauxolouve's hidden intentions? 

Tauxolouve was a fairly graceful god when he wasn't doing something that required precision. So, by all means, he wasn't entirely as clumsy as he claimed to be. His ‘accidental’ sudden movements when he was around me had to be on purpose. How else could he explain it? He always enjoyed teasing me… even before he became my worst nightmare. This was nothing more than another way for him to get a reaction out of me.

At the very least, to soothe my anxiety, Tauxolouve tried to find me a creative outlet. Of course, his go-to option was painting—something I could have done without. Painting was something I’d avoided since finding out his true nature. But if it made him leave me alone, I figured it was worth my time to put colors on a canvas.

“You've been doing very well for me, love. Why don't you paint while I go to work today? I'm not sure how long I'll be gone since I'm making a trip to the Heavens…” He paused, and he couldn't help but smile as he added, “So, I won’t leave the chain on. But, I trust you'll stay in place if I seal the windows and doors.” 

Truthfully, he trusted me, and that's what I was banking on. I'd been waiting patiently and biding my time for him to give me an opening to escape and get the help I needed. Whether that day was today… I couldn't say. But this was a start, at the very least, and I wouldn’t push my luck unless success was guaranteed.

Glancing up at Tauxolouve, I realized he was waiting for a response and I quickly nodded my head. “I'll… stay and paint.” 

He grinned excitedly as if he had finally won something. He was certain of winning my obedience, that much I was certain of. But he still pushed his luck. “Aren't I going to get a kiss goodbye?” After a long moment of silence, he relented, “Perhaps next time you'll feel inclined to see me off properly. Or maybe I'll get that kiss when I return, hm?” Being met with silence once again, he sighed. “I'll see you this afternoon, love.” 

He wrapped his arms around me, something I only copied for the sake of having him leave faster. Though, his lips pressing against my head was something I definitely wasn't copying. He was pleased enough with my behavior and soon left me alone in the quiet room. 

The silence seemed comparably enjoyable considering the company I faced nearly 24 hours a day. But the easel in the center of the room didn't make me feel better. It was just another piece of Tauxolouve in my life. Ever since he locked me in his room, I'd been less inclined to have anything to do with art. I'd stopped sketching in my books; why did he think I'd like something he enjoyed?

I stared at the blank canvas for the longest time before finally approaching it, my footfalls quiet on the hard floor. There was nothing in particular that I wanted to paint. I could've painted an ugly painting of Tauxolouve, but I had a feeling he wouldn't appreciate that very much—my goal was to gain his trust, not piss him off and make my situation worse. 

All I could bring myself to paint were lines of color, an expression of my morbid feelings. On the inside, I felt like I could scream, throw the paint, make a disaster of his room—but all the energy I once had to fight him was gone, replaced with my desire to escape and win. Still, my repressed feelings only encouraged me to cover my hands in red shades of paint, spattering the unfinished canvas of colors. 

A sudden knock on the door made me turn in fright, my foot catching the edge of the easel, sending me crashing into the paint-filled easel. Was Tauxolouve back already? But he never knocked on the door before entering…

The door flung open unprompted, drawing a shriek out of me as I hid my face behind my pain-covered arms. It wasn’t my fault, but I didn’t want to see Tauxolouve’s wrath at my misstep. 

“(Name)?” My frightened gaze landed on Karno, who was watching me with wide eyes. “You’re… Are you okay?” Before I could respond, he was already by my side, trying to assess me for any injuries. Though, I was too dazed to comprehend the danger we were in. “Are you hurt? Can you talk to me? Do you want me to get Lou for you?”

No. No, no, no! My brain was screaming at me to cry for help. The tears left my eyes, but I couldn’t describe my situation to Karno. He needed to save me from this demented demigod but he would just brush me off again; I was sure. “I don’t want…” But I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know everything. 

Bad Ending 1/2

“Karno?” My breath caught in my throat, more tears pouring from my eyes as Tauxolouve appeared in the doorframe. If only I spoke up sooner… “What are you doing with (Name)?”

I locked eyes with Karno, silently begging him to save me. But my only hope hesitantly turned from my side to face Tauxolouve and answer him. “I came looking for you before I heard a crash in your room. I thought (Name) fell and got hurt. She didn't want to talk to me, so I was about to go find you. You showed up just in time.” 

I held my breath as Tauxolouve approached us, quickly taking Karno’s place beside me. My voice cracked as I tried to apologize. “I'm sorry…” Maybe if I was as cooperative as possible then Karno would be free from Tauxolouve's wrath.

“Don't worry about apologizing,” he stopped me, only making my anxiety rise by displeasing him. “Tell me if you're hurt.” The silence was thick for a moment. If I said yes, that I was hurt, would he take it easy on me? “(Name),” he repeated, directing my attention to him. “Yes or no?” 

“N- No…”

“Good,” Karno sighed in relief. At least I didn't get hurt in his presence while Tauxolouve wasn't around. “Lou, you seem preoccupied… Come find me later. Leon and I have something work-related to discuss. It's nothing pressing, so take your time.” 

Offering me a smile and a quiet farewell, Karno left the room. Of course, Tauxolouve stared at me the whole time for any reaction to the wishes god. Though, upon reaching for me, my premature wince made him pause. “(Name),” he forced my name, making me draw my limbs closer to myself in anticipation. “I’m serious, are you hurt?” He paused. “I won’t be mad. I want to help you.”

Again, I shook my head silently. “I- I tripped… I just…” I wasn’t sure what to say or how to explain everything he'd seen. Having Karno alone in the room with me looked bad enough, I had no idea how Tauxolouve was feeling. His comforting smile gave nothing away. 

He reached his hands out to me, though he surprised me with how careful his motions were. “Well then, if you’re feeling fine enough to walk, let me bring you take a bath. You’re covered in paint. I’ll handle everything else when we get back.”

I was afraid of whatever punishment might have come from Karno being alone with me, but it seemed that Tauxolouve suspected nothing of actually happening for the short time he wasn’t in the room. To make matters worse… I missed a completely golden opportunity to be rescued from him. 

But was the threat of death really that bad? So what if I died? Then I wouldn’t have to be around Tauxolouve. I wasn't entirely sure I would mind if he extinguished my stars, preventing me from being reincarnated. I didn’t want to live this life, and I certainly didn’t want a future carnation of myself to go through the same suffering. 

But in the bath, I finally revealed my opinion quietly as he washed the paint off of me. “Karno could have taken me away from you…” He glanced at me evenly, but I was annoyed when a smile tugged on his lips. I wanted to spite him. I wanted him to feel scared—threatened. “Then Zyglavis might’ve tried to get you extinguished for what you did.”

“You still think the other gods would suspect me of doing harm to my true love?” His eyebrows furrowed, clearly not wanting to have this conversation. “I don’t know what point you’re trying to get at, but the Dark King hurt you… I’m only doing my best with you. Leaving me isn’t an option, no matter what you try or who you go to. I’m almost tempted to let you try again. Another god is bound to return you to me.”

“You’re cruel.”

“Only because I want what’s best for my darling.”

“I hate you.”

There was a tense pause. He was quiet… too quiet and too still. Before long, I felt a hand over my head, dunking me into the water. I was too startled to have taken a breath—choking and spluttering in the water before he finally pulled me out of the water of his own accord. Staring impassionately at how I spat out water, sputtering for a breath of air, he requested, “Why don't you tell me you love me?” I stubbornly remained silent, though I knew I'd suffer for it. How long would it take another god to realize they sent me with a monster? How long until they saved me? “I hate to do this, but you're making this more difficult than it has to be. I won’t tolerate this behavior.”

Dunking me back underwater, I was doing my best to time when he would drag me back up, only to face the same request. My frantic clawing at his wrist did nothing to help me. Heck, it might have made him angrier, but despite my stubborn behavior, I was terrified deep down. Even as a demigod with one set of stars in his eyes, he was still a god, and he was dangerously unhinged.

I hated him.

I didn’t understand why he couldn’t wrap it around his head. I wasn’t going to say I loved him. “N- No,” I choked out, gasping for air. “I don’t-” And back underwater I went, over and over again. 

He was lessening the time I spent above water. When it came down to it, I wasn’t sure he’d even hear me if I told him I loved him. It was a terrifying predicament. But my struggling ceased when I found myself under for longer than I could handle. I needed air! I couldn’t breathe! My vision was blotting out. “I love you!” I tried to scream, though, clearly failed to have him hear me. All it managed was for me to take in water and my vision went out for a minute. 

When I next opened my eyes, I was leaning against the side of the tub, hacking up water that was forced into my lungs. My limbs were shaking as I felt Tauxolouve rubbing his hand along my back. “There, there. I think you were trying to tell me something before I nearly drowned you to death.”

He was… willing to kill me over words? Escaping was one thing, but suddenly I couldn’t speak my own opinion without him trying to kill me? Still, I was too traumatized to think he was faking it. Quickly, I began repeating it like a prayer, “I love you, I love you, I love you…”

“Fake,” he muttered, making my heart drop before he sighed and said, “We’ll work on it until you can say it with more honesty… just like you used to. Now, let me finish washing that paint from your fingernails so we can get back to my room.”

***

“I just want to love you…” He would remind me every day. “I want you close to me.” What he wanted, he took. 

At the very least, Tauxolouve was calm; he was caring. He granted every single wish, even the ones I never made. I wished for him to hold me closer in bed? Maybe in his head I wished for that. 

Though… One thing I wished for that I never got was my Louie back. He always blamed it on the dark gods, never understanding that he was the one who changed in my eyes. Of course, he was a god so we could never really understand each other's morals. But I refused to forgive him. Murder wasn't something I could brush off.

I was sure I'd have more chances in the future to make an even greater escape. After all, it wouldn't be the last time I'd get the chance to speak to another god.

Good Ending 2/2

All I could bring myself to paint was lines of color, an expression of my morbid feelings. On the inside, I felt like I could scream, throw the paint, make a disaster of his room—but all the energy I once had to fight him was gone, replaced with my desire to escape and win. Still, my repressed feelings only encouraged me to cover my hands in red shades of paint, spattering the unfinished work of colors. 

A sudden knock on the door made me turn in fright, my foot catching the edge of the easel, sending me tumbling into the paint. Was Tauxolouve back already? He never knocked on the door before entering…

The door flung open unprompted, drawing a shriek out of me as I hid my face behind my pain-covered arms. It wasn’t my fault, but I didn’t want to see Tauxolouve’s wrath at my misstep. 

“(Name)?” My frightened gaze landed on Karno, who was watching me with wide eyes. “You’re… Are you okay?” Before I could respond, he was already by my side, trying to assess me for any injuries. Though, I was too dazed to comprehend the danger we were in. “Are you hurt? Can you talk to me? Do you want me to get Lou for you?”

No. No, no, no! My brain was screaming at me to cry for help. The tears left my eyes, but I couldn’t describe my situation to Karno. He needed to save me from this psychotic demigod but he would just brush me off again; I was sure. “I don’t want…” But I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know everything. But he would reject me again, wouldn't he?

“Hey,” Karno gently called, treating me as softly as he could. “Don’t worry about the mess. Lou won’t be angry about it. I just want to know if you're hurt. Are you?”

My eyes flickered around for any injuries, but I felt fine, if not embarrassed from the crash. But the paint all over caused me a different kind of distress that wasn't allowed to stay for long. As soon as he noted my stress, he snapped his fingers, the paint vanishing from my body as if it were never there to begin with. 

Still, I had to answer his question honestly. “Y- Yes,” I whispered to him. “...I want to leave.”

His eyes met mine, and we paused for a moment. “Is your head still bothering you?” 

“It's… not my head.” Drawing my legs closer to me, I tugged my pants higher, staring at the bruises that surrounded my ankles, byproducts of the cuffs that I once fought against. 

“(Name)...” He said my name in a shocked tone, his fingers lightly trailing across the discolored skin. “Did you show Lou?” 

I blinked, my eyebrows furrowing in frustration. “Lou isn't here.” 

“Didn't you see him-”

“No,” I interrupted him. That wasn't Lou. I hadn't seen Lou in months. “He doesn't care, anyway. He said it was my fault.” 

“What did you do?”

I stared at him evenly before my gaze fell to the floor. I wondered if I stayed calm if he would actually consider my words of complaint? Would he save me? Or would he tell Tauxolouve what I said and get me into even more trouble? It wasn't like I could make the situation any worse by saying the truth. “I was trying to get out of the chains he put me in.”

Karno faltered. “Chains?”

A glance around the room wouldn't reveal anything. The chains were gone now, Tauxolouve removed them as soon as I'd started ‘behaving’. I wondered if Karno noticed the windows and doors were sealed with Tauxolouve's powers. “They were so I wouldn't escape again. But he figured I couldn’t do anything if he blocked the door and windows. So… he took the chains off.” 

Silently considering my words, he finally spoke, “Wait here for a moment. Don't move.” He kept a careful eye on me, but certain that I wouldn’t disobey him, he left my side. His eyes diligently scanned the room, but caught nothing out of place. 

Considering my words, he approached the windows, finding exactly what I told him. He found it hard to believe at first, wondering what could have possibly been going through Tauxolouve's head. Though he had no answers to all his questions, he had me, an innocent victim, sitting right in front of him. 

But he and the other gods took Tauxolouve's word over mine… So how did that make them better? This only made Karno wonder if my accusations of Tauxolouve having killed me in the under realm… Was I telling the truth? And Tauxolouve ended up with exactly what he wanted: me to himself, locked away with no one to question whether or not this decision would help or hurt me. 

“(Name),” Karno hoarsely called my name, frantically falling beside me. My eyes widened in trepidation as his fingers gently searched for further injuries, only falling back to the most obvious ones around my ankles. His eyes imploringly searched mine as if begging me to tell him a lie. “Did Tauxolouve… kill you?”

Silently, I stared at Karno with tears pooling and cascading down my cheeks. So a god finally believed me… Why did they have to realize the truth so late? 

“Karno?” I flinched, my eyes flickering to Tauxolouve who stood in the frame of the open door. “What's going on here?”

Karno met my petrified gaze for a brief second before finally rising and turning on his heel to face Tauxolouve. For the moment… he would treat this as a civil conversation. “I came looking for you and heard a crash in your room. I had to make sure (Name) wasn't hurt. I cleaned up all the paint for you.” 

Tauxolouve didn't seem overly suspicious. In fact, he only appeared worried at the news, making Karno confused at what exactly was going on between the two of us. Tauxolouve frantically asked, “(Name), did you fall? Are you hurt?” 

“She is,” Karno answered for me, making me lower my head to avoid making eye contact with Tauxolouve; he would surely be livid with me the longer Karno spoke. “Though, she wasn't injured from falling. Rather… She refused to speak with me, and I found bruises around her ankles.” His eyes glistened in accusation. “I wonder what those could have been from… if not chains.” 

The room was thick with tension, but Tauxolouve was quick to wave the suspicion. “It was for the same reason we couldn't send her home. I feared for her health. The only reason there are bruises is because she was adamant about not cooperating with me. She couldn't attempt to harm me or herself if I limited her mobility.”

Karno hummed quietly, his gaze flickering back to me. The excuse was believable, but my fear was real. The only way he'd know for sure if I was being honest was by having Scorpio come into contact with me. Then they'd be able to judge my innermost thoughts and feelings—still how would they decide if my accusations were real or if they were byproducts of what those dark gods had done? 

For now, however, he’d have to settle with getting Tauxolouve's answers in person. “I take it she's gotten better then… Being that she isn't currently in chains? Are the sealed windows and doors another form of insurance?”

“They are,” Tauxolouve agreed, peering carefully at Karno. “It would break my heart to have her run off and get hurt in this state.”

Karno sported his usual kind smile, and my heart ached at how he neglected to say anything even vaguely challenging to take me out of this place. “But I'm concerned about her mental health since her interaction with the dark gods. Have you made any progress with her? She seems… frightened.”

Tauxolouve nodded in solemn agreement. “She is. I'm doing my best to show that I'm not a threat. But, I have to say, seeing me extinguish those dark gods so soon after being manipulated by them must have left a horrifying image of me in her mind.” Sighing heavily, he muttered, “I only want her to love me… Nothing had to change… We could have gone back to being a loving couple…” Shaking his head and unclenching his fists, he asked, “Can we… be alone now? I'll take care of her and make sure she isn't hurt. The only way I can get her to love me and stop seeing me as a threat is by loving her and taking care of her when she needs me.”

“Of course,” Karno nodded his head in understanding, taking this as his cue to leave. Though, he didn't hesitate to shoot me a glance. “I don't want to impede her care. It seems there's still a long way to go, but even small progress is progress.” Nodding he made his way past Tauxolouve, only pausing before he left. “Lou, I need you to meet me in the Heavens tomorrow morning. I have a new assignment for you since you seem to be getting better as well. (Name)... I hope you're feeling well soon. Please, don't be afraid of Lou, he's doing his best to care for you.”

I stared dully at the floor, listening as Karno’s footfalls retreated down the hall following the closing and the locking of the door. It was then that the fated question finally left Tauxolouve’s lips, “You had a delightful visit from Karno… didn't you, sweetheart?”

***

Fortunate; that’s what I counted myself as. Since Karno lacked any suspicion during their conversation, I was lucky that Tauxolouve elected not to act on the incident. After all, I mentally tortured myself over everything he could have done to either me or Karno and that was enough of a punishment in his eyes. 

As it was, I thought Karno was going to be my last interaction with any of the other gods, but it appeared he wasn’t the last of my visitors. It was an unexpected surprise for Scorpio to come and find me early one morning when I was sleeping soundly without Tauxolouve’s intimidating presence. 

Of course, this turned out better for Scorpio. Since I was sleeping, my thoughts were unguarded, a perfect state for Scorpio to get honest answers from me. However, after a brief panicked awakening, it was time for him to hear my side of the story after telling me exactly what they were up to. 

“The only way we can help you is if you can prove what Tauxolouve is doing.” Scorpio observed me for any kind of reaction, but I didn’t instantly reject him, so that was good. All he needed was any kind of evidence of Tauxolouve’s unacceptable treatment of a goldfish. 

To be honest, it scared me to go up against Tauxolouve like this. But I knew that with stars in only one of his eyes that he was no match for the Zodiac gods that were unknowingly circling in on him now. All I had to do was provide the evidence. Karno gave me this opportunity to get help; I couldn’t pass it up. Taking a deep breath, I asked, “Will a verbal confession work?”

His gaze narrowing on me, he huffed. “Yeah.” 

Nodding slowly, I said, “Then I have an idea. Let’s set up in Dui’s room. If I were in danger… I’d run to a nice god like him first.”

***

Dui was easy to get on board with their plan. As long as it would help me, he was more than willing. All I had to do was hide in Dui’s room while Dui went to get ‘help’. ‘Help’ being my loving boyfriend, Tauxolouve, who was surely going to want to help his beloved after finding that I escaped his room and ran to another god. 

“Tauxolouve,” Dui called, flagging the attention of the older god. “This is important; you should come quick.” Dui’s eyebrows were furrowed together. It wasn’t hard for him to act concerned when he was worried about what was going to occur between me and Tauxolouve. “(Name) came find me. She was really freaking out, telling me about how you killed her and have been fooling everyone and even chained her up and imprisoned her in your room. But… You’re a nice guy, Lou. I know you can help her. I know you care about (Name) a lot so, I let her hide in my room until I could come find you.”

Tauxolouve’s eyes were wide, but he was too shocked to react for a moment. After what happened with Karno the other day, I convinced him I was too scared to attempt anything like running off again. He was lucky enough that the other gods still had faith in him as a loving boyfriend. “Thank you for telling me. It’s been hard trying to clear the influence of those dark gods. Tell me, she hasn’t hurt herself or you, has she?”

“I don’t think so,” Dui shook his head, but his concern was only growing. “Has she done that with you?”

“When she panics,” he answered slowly, “She’s prone to injuring herself. Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her and make sure this doesn’t happen again.” Offering Dui a thankful smile, he headed straight for Dui’s room. Only, entering the young gods room, he wasn’t smiling as his eyes scanned the darkness. If I didn’t hurt myself, I certainly broke the light switch in an attempt to hide from him. “I told you it was no use trying to run,” he taunted, moving further into the room. There was only one space behind the bed where I could have been hiding, after all. As suspected he found me pressed into the corner where the bed and wall met. He chuckled quietly at the rate tears were pouring from my eyes. “I love all your expressions, I want to immortalize every one of them… Especially this one. It’s so rare and exquisite. It’s a treat to get to wipe your tears.”

He knelt before me, but I refused to let him touch me, ducking my face out of his grasp. All I had to do was rile him up—no matter how terrifying. I needed to get Tauxolouve to say something incriminating. “Dui- Dui promised he wouldn’t let you in! He promised he’d keep you away! He said- He said the Department of Punishments would take care of it!” I hoarsely shouted at him, my hands balled into fists in case he were to try and grab for me. 

Tauxolouve tilted his head, unamused with my bold attitude. “Calm down so I can take you home. You’ve been out of my room for a while now, haven’t you? Didn’t I tell you that there was nowhere you could go that would be safe? All the gods believe that you’re just a mentally helpless human who needs my help. You’re my beloved, after all. Why are you so surprised that they would give you up to me?”

I frantically wiped the tears from my eyes, hoping to clear my blurred vision. Though, feeling Tauxolouve’s hands wrapping around my arms to pull me with him, my thrashing around in his grip was the only thing that made him let go, allowing me to stumble away from him, though I knew he’d be coming back to try again… This next time, he wouldn’t let go. “You’re a murderer,” I accused. “When are you going to tell them how you killed me?! When are you going to tell them I’m so mental because of you?!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me,” Tauxolouve said, staring impassively as he numbly rubbed his chin where I’d managed to punch him. “I’ve done everything for you. I’ve given you a loving home where you’d want for nothing. I’ve painted you as my muse, my goddess of beauty. I’ve given you everything a human could dream of.” He paused, his gaze darkening. “But I also sent an arrow through your heart, just as you’d done to me. I chained you to my bed. I sealed off your connection to the outside world. I’ve taken everything from you just as fast as I gave it. Tell me, what left is there? What will it take to please you?”

I could never be pleased with this man, never again. “Die…” I muttered. Though, after a moment of silence, I shouted, “DIE!” What more could I have wanted than the death of my worst enemy and captor… My first true love. 

Of course, Tauxolouve wasn’t happy to hear that. His expression was startling enough, but fortunately before he could act, Scorpio and Zyglavis entered, containing the situation. Before Tauxolouve could argue against this rough treatment and them blocking his minimal powers, Zyglavis was already interrupting him, “This will be ample evidence to be used in a trial. Misuse of divine power, tampering with human life and death, as well as a multitude of other charges that will later be described in great detail before the King.”

Tauxolouve scoffed, not understanding what the heck was going on. “You’re arresting me for taking care of my girlfriend? I was trying to help her.” For the moment, he couldn’t seem to comprehend that this was all planned and plotted behind his back. So, how was he the bad guy in all of this when he only ever tried to paint a pretty picture for the world to see? “You’re making a mistake. This must be prejudice because I’m a demigod. The Department of Wishes would never do this to me.” 

“Yet it’s Karno who’s the reason you were reported,” I hissed, my repressed anger coming out full force against my ex-captor. “You’ll know what it feels like to die. You’ll know what it feels like to have everyone turn against you! You’ll be lucky if even your parents want to look at you after this!”

I flinched at feeling a hand on my shoulder, but it was only Krioff, making sure I didn’t get brave enough to foolishly get too close to the seemingly volatile god. Though, Krioff’s contact with me only irritated Tauxolouve, who hissed, “You’re mine. No matter how far apart we may be, I love you and I’ll return for you. I will come back for you!” I could see the promise in his eyes, but watching Scorpio drag him out the door made me feel confident that he couldn’t do much. 

Zyglavis’ eyes flickered to my frozen form, clearly on edge from what I’d been through. The least he could do was provide me with these comforting words, “(Name) (Surname), you’re free.” Peering at Karno who entered the room, he instructed, “Take care of her.”Karno nodded and let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. Sure, it disappointed him that everything turned out to be a colossal disaster and not just me having been manipulated by dark gods. The Department of Wishes was losing a talented god… all over something that could have been avoided. But when his eyes landed on me, all he could feel was a pit of guilt in his stomach. Still, he had to do his best for me. He gave me a solemn smile, offering his hand out to me. “I’m sure you’re not feeling well right now. We let this linger for too long… But we’re all here for you and we won’t let this happen again. You’ve done a lot for us and we left you in a dire situation without hearing you out. We’ll make it up to you. But first… let me take you home. Your real home.”

#star crossed myth #star crossed myth fanfic #star crossed myth yandere #star crossed myth imagines #scm tauxolouve #fanfic #voltage fanfic #zodiac signs #zodiac gods #department of wishes #yandere #yandere x reader #major character death #tw: death #tw: violence #tw: abuse #tw: stalking #tw: captivity

[noodyl-blasstal]

If you're still taking prompts #18 with Taako?

Thank you very much Anon

“No, I think the spite is worth it. Yep” from Prompts for Fun and Profit which can be found by clicking here.  

______________

“Just to clarify, just so chagirl is 100% up to speed with The Plan, you think Kravitz likes romance novels, but won’t admit it to you, so you’re going to become a romance novelist using the pen name ‘T. Gregory’ so you don’t get embarrassed because you don’t want people to know you read or write romance novels.” Lup gave him a pointed look, almost as if she was expecting some kind of revelation.

“Got it in one!” Taako replied. Shooting Lup some finger guns for good measure.

“But, what does that prove? How will you know if he reads it? This makes 0 sense, Ko.” Lup looked baffled, and Taako rolled his eyes, Lup usually kept up better than this.

“He loves writing letters, Lu. He writes to all his favourite authors to ‘show appreciation’ because it’s ‘good to make sure people know how much you enjoy their work’. He’s such a dork.” Taako said. This was obvious, it wasn’t like he knew Kravitz well and he knew this about him. His exasperated sigh with Kravitz’s inherent ridiculousness came out sounding a lot more fond than intended. Lup had already started teasing him about the crush he didn’t have on ‘Kravitz from the Coffee Shop’, so he powered on in the hope she wouldn’t smell weakness. “Anyway, I’ll crack out a best seller and he’ll write to me. I know his handwriting, and then I’ll have him and I can take the letter to the shop, wait until he comes in and tell him I know the truth. Lying to Taako? Absolutely not.” Taako continued. Adding a smug nod once he finished. 

“Once again, Koko, just to clarify. You’re going to write a romance novel…” Lup began.

“... a bestselling romance novel.” Taako corrected.

Lup rolled her eyes and started again. “You’re going to write a bestselling romance novel out of spite, so Kravitz writes you a letter.” 

“So I recognise his handwriting and catch him in a lie. What aren’t you getting Lup?” Taako was getting frustrated now. This plan was impeccable. 

“And when you catch him in a lie you’re going to tell him you wrote an entire romance novel, a genre you’re also pretending you don’t enjoy, so that you could tell him you share an interest?” Lup raised her eyebrows and inclined her head forward. He still had no idea what she was getting at.

“Yeah, he’ll be so embarrassed. It’ll be adorable… I, I mean, satisfying. It’ll be satisfying to catch him out. That.” Okay, so Kravitz did look adorable when he got flustered, but Taako had eyes, it was okay to just notice things. Sometimes very handsome men who came into your shop every day and always made time to talk with you without making you feel any pressure to do so, looked a bit adorable. That was fine.

“Okay, so, Spite Book, that’s an option… but I just Googled it and romance novels are at least 50,000 words, and I distinctly remember you saying you were never writing that many words again once you finished your PhD…” Lup said. Taako grimaced, he had said that, but this was different. It wasn’t as bad if you didn’t have to research it, he could just write whatever he wanted. “But, and hear me out… I do have another suggestion about a way you could find out if you share common interests.” Lup piqued his interest with that. 50,000 words was a lot of words…

“Go on.” Taako said.

“Ask him out on an actual date, Goofus!” Lup lobbed a pillow at Taako’s head. “You’re absolutely insufferable.”

Taako ducked - he’d spent his entire life with Lup, he knew how to avoid projectiles. “Nah, I’m good with the Spite Book thanks, yeah. I’m not trying to date him!” 

Lup rolled her eyes. “Sure, bro bro, sure.” 

________________________________

Javitz Storm’s cape billowed dramatically behind him as he rode across the moors, Cemita Torta was waiting for him, and he knew now that encircled by Cemita’s arms was the only place he wanted to be. Javitz had spent years longing for him, but had never imagined that it was anything more than a dream. But now, now he knew that Arved was no good for him, Cemita deserved love and care, he deserved happiness, and Kravitz Javitz could give it to him.

Taako swore as he deleted the error and corrected it. This kept happening. It didn’t mean anything that the names were similar, it was just fitting for a big strong handsome dude who was coming to sweep the hero off his feet. Everyone borrowed elements of people they knew to write. It wasn’t any reflection on Kravitz. 

Grabbing his mug of coffee he took another slug. It turned out writing this hadn’t been quite as terrible as his thesis on chemical engineering, but it had been more work than he’d planned. Luckily he was used to having a fairly rigid writing schedule. 

The benefit of working in a coffee shop was the connections - Lucretia had said she only specialised in biography, but could put him in touch with another agent. The guy, Davenport, had been nice. He’d been enthusiastic about the story, said it would fit in well with the current boom in period romance. He asked Taako for three chapters and a formal plot summary. A few meetings later and Taako had been told to go ahead and write the thing. Davenport hadn’t minded the pen name request - in fact, he said that lots of his authors used them.

____________________________________

Davenport found him a publisher quickly. For all his bravado, Taako hadn’t necessarily expected that. He could do absolutely anything he wanted, natch, but being an author was a hard game to get into. Of course he’d be baller at writing though, it made sense.

Publication day passed without fanfare. Taako had decided there was absolutely no way that Lup wouldn’t read into the whole innocent thing with the names, so he just didn’t mention it. She’d asked a few times about the Spite Book idea, and his non-committal replies had left her thinking that he’d abandoned the plan. He didn’t lie or anything, she just drew some conclusions. Served her right for underestimating his dedication to pulling one over on Kravitz.

Taako had continued to act completely normally in the coffee shop when Kravitz came in. He was wary of doing anything which would give the game away. This wouldn’t work if Kravitz figured him out so he didn’t mention any writing or planning or meetings. Not that they talked that much or anything, not that Kravitz took an interest in his life.

Sales were slow at first. He supposed that hoping for an immediate bestseller as an unknown author was a bit of a stretch. Especially because he point blank refused to do any social media. Taako was a unique brand and it was hard to keep that candle dimmed, he didn’t want to risk giving the game away. He’d also hoped the mystery might do him some favours.

In the end it was social media that came through for him though. The publishers had sent out press packs to various reviewers. Only one produced any content, but The Book Reaper’s blog about ‘Finally In Your Arms’ was very enthusiastic about T. Gregory. Apparently the characters were so tangible you could almost believe they were real people who should definitely be dating. Taako was smug about that, The Book Reaper had directed him to some of his favourite books in the past.

He didn’t realise how much things had snowballed from there until Lup sent him a selfie of her with the book.

[16:12] Lupita Taako??????????? [16:12] ??????????????????????????????????? [16:12] ???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [16:13] Is this Spite Book?????????????????????????????????????????????????? [16:14] DID YOU WRITE AN ENTIRE BOOK AND NOT TELL YOUR ONLY SISTER ABOUT IT??????????????????? [16:14] I’m getting 17. Everyone’s having a copy for Candlenights. [16:17] JAVITZ????? Taako, you are ridiculous. This is ridiculous. [16:17] Taako, please, I beg of you, just ask this man out.

[16:22] Taako I didn’t tell you because I knew you’d be weird about it.

Okay, so guilting her may not have been the most ethical choice, but hopefully it meant he didn’t have to talk about it any more…

[16:23] Lupita YOU WROTE AN ENTIRE ROMANCE NOVEL INSTEAD OF ASKING A BOY OUT AND CALLED THE LOVE INTEREST HIS NAME WITH ONE LETTER DIFFERENT. I’M NOT THE WEIRD ONE HERE TAAKO. [16:24] Don’t think I didn’t notice Cemita Torta too. Thought that one was clever, did you? [16:27] You can’t avoid me forever Bro Bro. [16:28] Barold’s going to lose his shit when I tell him. [16:28] Javitz?! Fucking Javitz. I love you so much, Ko. [16:31] Okay, I’ve calmed down. I’m sorry, it was just a shock.  [16:32] I’m really proud of you, Ko. It takes a lot to get published. It’s really good. 

[16:35] Taako Taako can’t come to the phone right now.

_____________________________

Jenkins had left the letter by his cubby with a reminder that employees shouldn’t get personal post sent to work. It had arrived with the usual cafe delivery, but Taako had no idea who would be writing to him here. Especially not in high quality black envelopes with wax seals and silvery ink. He looked at the raven, embossed into the bright red wax, and carefully tore into the envelope around it. It would be rude to break something so beautiful - maybe he could cut the seal out to add to his trinkets dish.

Inside was a letter, tied together with a gods honest silver ribbon. This was the fanciest thing he’d received in his life. Carefully unwrapping the ribbon, he opened the letter, the paper was thicker than some mattresses he’d had in college. 

Dear Taako,

I just wanted to write and let you know how much I enjoyed the book Finally In Your Arms. I was especially intrigued by the relationship between Javitz and Cemita - it was difficult to watch how long they both pined before Javitz realised that he just needed to act and Cemita could be his. I hope to see more of your work and hope they end up happily together.

Thank you for sharing the story with me.

Yours always (if you’ll have me),

KrJavitz.

Taako stared at it, aghast. He kept trying to formulate thoughts and failing miserably. Eventually, he shoved it in his tote and grabbed his apron. He didn’t need Jenkins getting on at him for time wasting as well as gross misuse of the company post.

Taako tried and failed not to think about the letter as he baked. He snuck back to his cubby a few times while dough was rising and cookies were baking. There was no mistaking it, even without the name at the end. It was goth shit, it was a letter to an author, therefore it was definitely Kravitz. Was it possible that Kravitz wanted to date him? But how did he know it was him? Fuck. This was a mess. It was supposed to be Taako in control. He couldn’t believe this bastard had turned the tables on him. Taako didn’t get surprised, Taako was never on the back foot, Taako thought 20 steps ahead. Taako was fucked…

__________________

Kravitz was dressed even fancier than usual. It wasn’t fair. Taako had been in work since 4am and he was wearing leggings and a slouchy shirt. He looked good natch. Taako always looked good, but this wasn’t what he’d planned to wear to tease Kravitz about reading romance, let alone to possibly discuss dating. Taako hid in the kitchen while Ren served him, but he couldn’t avoid him forever. 

Taako needed to take the power back, Kravitz had basically admitted that he not only read romance, but that he had been lusting after Taako for ages. That was far more embarrassing than anything else anyone who may be involved in the situation had done.

“Afternoon Stud, written to any world famous authors lately?” Taako asked as he bussed a nearby table. He was heartened to see Kravitz choke on his coffee. Who had the upper hand now?

“That depends,” replied Kravitz, trying valiantly to regain his composure. “Written any world famous books lately?” He grinned at Taako and looked smug.

Taako pulled the free chair out with his foot and plonked himself down opposite Kravitz. “I thought you didn’t read romance books.” He said, just a smug.

Kravitz’s brows knitted together in confusion. “You wrote it because you thought I wouldn’t read it?” Then his eyes opened wide in panic. “Oh fuck, have I completely misread this? I, I’m so sorry. I thought… oh fuck.” Kravitz looked like he was about to sprint for the door.

“No, I wrote it because I knew you would.” Taako looked at him expectantly. This was his big moment, his gotcha.

Kravitz just looked baffled. “So you wrote it because I told you I didn’t read romance, but you knew I did?” He asked, slowly.

“Yeah,” Taako replied brightly. “Gotcha!”

“Taako… you, you wrote an entire book and got it published because you had a feeling I read a genre I said I didn’t?” Well, when Kravitz put it like that it sounded a bit ridiculous.

“It’s not weird. I just didn’t know how else to find out.” Taako said. Realising as soon as it left his mouth that saying something wasn’t weird was pretty much a guarantee that it was weird. He’d heard it come out of Lup’s boyfriend enough and that dude had a roadkill collection. Sure, they looked cute in their tiny hats, but it was still objectively weird. Fuck, he was on the same level as Barry.

“You could have asked… Wait, no, you did… okay. Fair. That seems like a reasonable second option.” Kravitz laughed and Taako couldn’t help but stare at him. He was illegally handsome, especially with so much joy on his face. “I was trying to show off, you know? I wanted you to like me and you said you didn’t read romance.” Kravitz said once he stopped laughing. He sounded sickeningly sincere. 

“I said I didn’t read romance because you, well, your whole deal! You said you liked horror. I couldn’t tell the hot goth that most of my reading was porn with a smidge of plot, could I?” Taako probably shouldn’t have admitted the last bit… he could definitely have just said romance books.

Kravitz’s grin turned vaguely predatory and he leant forward to rest his hand on his chin. “You definitely could have…” He paused and sat up slightly again. “So… Javitz… Inspired by anyone you know?”

“Fuck off.” Said Taako, grabbing Kravitz’s napkin, scribbling his number, and shoving it back. “Text me?”

Kravitz grabbed the napkin and his phone. “Definitely.” He paused and looked up, smirking again. “I can’t wait to be encircled in your arms.”

#Who could The Book Reaper be? No one knows it's a complete mystery! #TAZ Balance #TAZ Fic #Taakitz #Taako #Kravitz #Noodyl Writes #Sometimes you just have to write a spite book to work out if someone enjoys a genre or not