#also you picked really good questions

[pseudonemisis]

5 ,7 and 10 for the ask game please))

5. TV show of the year? hmmmm, which to pick, which to pick. I guess I'll pick The Sandman(thats a close call tho)mostly because of Hob. im not sure why, but its a relatively common theme in stories to show why you dont want immortality, that the world will one day break you, as you watch as one by one everything and everyone youve ever loved crumbles around you. I suppose if I really stretch, I can understand where this came from, but for a kid trying thyre best to find a reason to stay alive, its not really the best lesson. and then seeing Hob say no, fuck it, there will always be beauty in the world to discover, and new, wonderful things to learn, and there is always a reason to live. idk, it meant alot to me.

7. Favorite actor of the year? Mason Alexander Park(desire in sandman), or Vico Ortiz(jim from ofmd). they are both such fun interesting people, and seeing nonbinary characters in shows I love means a lot to me, and since I want to go into some sort of film seeing them succeed is really encouraging

10. Something that made you cry this year? other than the ever present crushing weight of being alive? podcasts. in a genral note, I have cried soooo many times listening to wtnv, tma, and malevolent, but the most interest time was when I went to the wtnv live show in Boston this past summer. I started crying before the show even started. It was my first time to a big city, and I was already exited to see so many different people. as people started to file into the theater I started to notice that I felt safe. I was on my own, but I didnt feel lonely. and maybe it seems a stupid thing to cry about, but everyone in that theater was brought together by a common love, and that love was apparent. everyone was different, each dressed in their own unique way, and yet no one was out of place, including me. As someone whos always been at least a little out of place and lonely, that night meant a lot to me, and i started silently crying as the lights dimmed.

#i am so so sorry if this sounds really dramatic #i am tired and i have a candle burning which immediately activates dramatic me #also you picked really good questions #ask<3

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo frowns at his phone.

Or more specifically, at the test on his phone.

Around him, he hears the sound of his brothers tapping their own devices, much faster than he is. Looking up just makes Leo feel worse about his own progress - or lack-thereof.

Mikey’s the fastest, speeding through the test like nobody’s business. He’d been the one to make them all do this stupid test in the first place, so it makes sense that he’s having a blast.

Raph’s slower than Mikey is, but he’s still clearly answering the questions at a steady pace. Sometimes he looks unsure, but he powers through anyway.

Donnie often looks frustrated, which relieves Leo somewhat because at least someone is struggling like him. But that “struggle” isn’t nearly as big as his own, considering that Donnie is answering about as fast as Raph is.

Leo turns his gaze back down to his own test. He’s still near the beginning, he thinks.

He’d put the same answer for the past seven questions - the middle of the road answer, neither a “yes” or a “no.” Then, whenever he does come across one that is more one direction than the other, he second guesses himself and restarts the test!

Sure, there are a few he could definitely give a yes or a no to, but…never the “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree” that the test seemed to want from him.

He eyes his twin sitting nearby, the softshell absorbed in the test. Maybe Leo should copy what Donnie put for some of these…

“DONE!” Mikey’s shout makes Leo freeze in place just as he started to lean over.

“What?” Donnie squawks, “No way you’re already finished, you must’ve been cheating!”

“It’s a personality test, Dee!” Mikey stuck his tongue out, “You can’t cheat at those!”

…

Leo settles back into his seat.

Ignoring Donnie’s mutterings about how it was “just because it’s not an academic test” that he didn’t finish first, Raph smiles encouragingly at Mikey.

“Hey, good job! So what’d you get, Mike?”

Mikey looks back down at his test, reading aloud, “Says that I got the “Campaigner”!”

“What’s that mean?” Leo asks, his phone screen going dark.

“Apparently, I’m an “enthusiastic, creative, and sociable free-spirit”.” Mikey reads, smiling at them, “You think it fits?”

“Oh, to a T, bro!” Leo laughs, giving Mikey a thumbs up, making Mikey’s smile grow larger.

Inside, Leo was feeling a lot more mixed about this. He has no idea how Mikey knew himself so well. Maybe Donnie was right and Mikey did cheat, because how could he answer those questions so easily?

Leo’s phone burns in his hand. He keeps it locked.

“Wow, that really is you.” Raph says, his eyes flitting back and forth between his own test and Mikey, “Do you think it fits?”

“I guess? It’s fun to see at least!” Mikey shrugs with a grin.

“Hold on, I think…” Raph makes a noise of satisfaction, “Okay, done!”

“Sigh, now I’m relegated to the straggler group.” Donnie grumbles, his thumbs moving faster as he tries rushing through the questions.

“Ooh, what’d you get Raph?” Mikey asks, practically bouncing in curiosity.

“Says, uh…I got something called the “Consul”?” He squints his eyes to read more, “Uh, “caring, social, and community-minded.””

“Sounds about right to me.” Leo nods. Can’t be more “community-minded” than being a hero.

“Yeah, no one’s more caring than you, Raphie!” Mikey says, moving to lean across Raph’s shell.

“You do put the community in mind, that’s for sure.” Donnie states, not looking up.

Raph chuckles, a bit embarrassed, “Aw, thanks. It’s just some test, but it feels kinda good to hear that.”

Just a test. Right.

Leo unlocks his screen.

The test stares back at him.

Right. Okay. He can do this. He can.

The screen ends up going dark again.

Frustration builds up in Leo. Was he even halfway done with the test? At this rate, soon even Donnie will-

“FINISHED.”

Leo unlocks his phone.

“What’d you get, DonTon?” Leo asks as his thumb taps the top right of the screen.

Donnie puffs up proudly, a self sure grin on his face, “I got the result “Logician” which states that I, obviously, am an “innovative inventor with a thirst for knowledge.” Truly could not have described me better, if I do say so myself.”

“It is pretty accurate.” Raph agrees with a nod, “Even calls you an inventor, so extra accurate.”

“Super accurate.” Mikey jumps in, eyes shining.

“Yes, yes, almost like reading my own character synopsis.” Donnie’s grin had not dwindled since the word “innovative” had left his mouth.

Leo just nods along, eyes on his own screen as he skims the words. “Yeah, kinda creepy how close it got. Could have called you a nerd for extra accuracy, though.”

Donnie turns to him, eyes narrowing, “Have you even finished your test? I can think of a few words that’d describe you fairly well.”

“Test-y, huh?”

Before Donnie can strangle Leo, Raph cuts in.

“Ok, ok, calm it down, guys.” He rolls his eyes before turning to Leo. “But really, you’re not done yet?”

“Leo’s taking this self reflection seriously.” Mikey sports a faux intellectual expression as he gives a jokingly serious nod. “Maybe we all should’ve taken our time.”

“Says the one who sped through the whole thing in a record time.” Donnie mutters.

Leo waves them all off, “Nah, I finished it ages ago.”

He grins when Donnie immediately shoots him a suspicious glare. “Oh, you did, did you? Then what could you have possibly gotten, Nardo?”

“I’m glad you asked!” Leo clears his throat, “Neon Leon just so happens to be an “Entertainer.””

“Ah. That confirms it. This test is meaningless.” Donnie drones.

“Hey-“

“What’s an Entertainer like?” Mikey asks with a tilt of his head, still hanging off of Raph’s shell.

“Glad you asked, Miguel!” Leo exclaims, “It says that “life is never boring” around yours truly~”

He emphasizes this “result” of his by waving his phone with said “result” on screen.

It’s just an image he found of his chosen personality result, but they don’t need to know that.

Raph nods slowly, “Well, I guess that’s true…”

“”Never boring” is one way to put it.” Donnie hums.

“You are pretty fun, Leo!” Mikey says emphatically, because he’s great like that.

“Thank you, thank you, life of the party, right here.” Leo grins, pointing both thumbs at himself.

He’s careful not to go too overboard with it, or else it might tip someone off.

Not that it…really matters. It’s just a test. Like Raph said.

As the topic around him shifts to something else, jumping away from this brief activity as fast as any other among them, Leo finds himself unlocking his phone and pulling up the test again.

Unanswered questions stare at him. He knows what answers Lou Jitsu would pick. He knows what answers Jupiter Jim would pick. Hell, he knows exactly what answers his brothers would pick.

He doesn’t know what answers Leonardo would pick.

Leo stares at the test for a second longer, before he exits the site and throws himself into the conversation happening around him.

It’s just a stupid test, nothing to worry about.

Just a test…

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt leo #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #could not ignore this idea that hit my brain haha #if you disagree with me on what personality types I gave the boys that’s fine tbh #picked mbti since it was the first one I thought of but again it like most of these tests isn’t super worth putting stock into #these tests are kinda dumb anyway but they’re fun to take #for some #anyway I love thinking about Leo struggling with his sense of identity #and in turn struggling with what is a persona and what is HIM #how much is a mask how much is built from taking traits from others how much is real how much is fake #even he doesn’t know #protagonist is probably a good choice for leo but I’m also tied to him secretly being the introverted type as well so #bit more of an ambivert maybe #he’s got aspects of a lot of them hence the difficulty answering questions #well most of his difficulty comes from an uncertainty of who he really is #again what is him and what is his mask #or masks #what even is his true self if his self is someone he’s never bothered to meet #a lot of the little details of his personality - the parts of him that we see peek out throughout the series and often on his own - #- they align with personality types that you would never think of when looking at him and his masks at face value #that’s not to say it’s all masks - he’s a goofy guy at his core - but he’s more than he lets on and we’re made privy to that in subtle ways #though fr protagonist is prob Leo’s most likely result

[friendrat]

The problem with the church today is that so many "Christians" do not actually believe in redemption.

#unironically christian #i say this because of all the people who make comments about people's testimony #like saying they don't believe that only fans girl who was saved and baptized was really saved #like... reading through the comments it becomes clear that the “Christians” don't actually accept her #like... my brother in Christ... your good deeds are as worthy as my used pad #that is straight up in the bible #you are not better than her and you do not deserve redemption more than her #her salvation is between her and God #and yes... you say that time will reveal her fruit and you are correct #but guess what #ananias was called to extend a hand to paul *before* his fruit showed #and he was a frigging serial killer who was out for ananias's blood the week before #you do not get to pick and choose which converts you get to except #you are not God and thank heavens for it because if you were we would all be doomed #*deep breath* #i am just so sick of this... farse... that Christianity has become #Christians need a wake up call #oh! and and when you act like its impossible to accept that she could be saved you belittle God's power #you call into question Jesus's blood and it's ability to cleanse and if that is false your salvation is worthless! #also also you go against the things clearly written in the Bible while wearing the title of Christian #which means you are misrepresenting God's nature and intentions which means you are breaking the command to not take the lord's name in vain #wow... i thought i was done at the deep breath... guess not😅 #rat rants

[mewtwo24]

You know idk if it's just me being oblivious af but mxtx sure does enjoy putting her protags through the trolley problem when it comes to her works huh /j

#mdzs #mxtx #i say this not to be critical but because she really does prove how time and again #people want a scapegoat and an easy target to blame #and so much of her work is abt proving how faulty these philosophical absolutes are--nothing is that simple. #literally the arguments made to put everything on wwx (at least for now) appear to be faulty at best #i mean sure sometimes he puts his foot in his mouth but like ;;;;;;;; the kid is just doing his best wtf #everyone out here like WWX IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN YOU except for lwj and i'm just like #1. hes literally like 16 yrs old or smth #2. whether or not he stepped in during the cave scene was kind of a non-question?????? #the wens were so clearly going to engage in egregeious violence regardless of the rationalizations that came after #pointing fingers is legitimately pointless and fallacious logic #if mianmian wasnt targeted theres really no guarantee smth similar wouldnt have happened #furthermore working tg and refusing to play by wens' rules was p much the only feasible option #lwj was young and afraid and had lost so much but he still had enough clarity to insist on working tg #i also really love what he said abt suffering bc its just true. #the way he claps back to his uncle by saying that nobody would be spared violence and atrocity #the only choice they had was to try to band tg and mitigate the dmg--basically 'war is hell' #i find it such a stark and lovely contrast to the common perception of others abt him #that lwj stands alone and thinks of no one else; quite the contrary #he's v self-contained and v disciplined but he's not indifferent to suffering or apathetic #i think so much of the natural love that blooms between wwx and lwj is rooted in their mutual desire to do good #wwx wants to help--he loves to see people smile. he would do anything to protect the ppl he loves #lwj is honestly the same--he's just more abt structure and stability #wwx is more spontaneous and more attuned to the people around him #im a little shocked that people werent able to tell lwj was just as obsessed with him #just bc wwx is loud and mischievous about his interest doesnt really???? to me mask the ways lwj is so responsive. also i ???????? #still don't understand the mental gymnastics of madame jiang insisting it was all wwx's fault when she literally targeted wen's mistress -> #in retaliation???????????????? all this 'pick your battles what the fuck is wrong with you wwx' and she goes and instigates their wrath?? #i mean idk fellas i was just sitting there like 'you could have handled this so many ways and you picked the TNT option. wat.'

[itsdefinitely]

💀😡

starting off strong!

💀 least favorite lord in black and why 😡 least favorite character from npmd and why

based off design... pokey. he is so swagless please i need to give him cool pants please please why doesn't he have shiny pants and a feather boa he deserves one give him heels you cowards

as for npmd (characters who have a speaking role): brenda. hearing her talk the first time made my soul float out of my body. i didn't recognize it as bryce; i thought they genuinely got a teenager to be brenda. it just took me off guard how real she was. compared to everyone else matching their stereotype, brenda acts like. a regular teenager

#there is so much hate in your heart anon...where is your whimsy #i wouldve put both brenda and stacy for npmd but the prompt said one character #and brenda is definitely the one that unlocked more core memories. if that makes sense #and dont get me wrong! i love brenda and pokey!! with all my heart and soul #definitely an ask #i was gonna doodle when answering these but i feel like this is a little too negative for a doodle #also the pokey design slander is specifically towards the way i draw him not anyone else (especially not the costume design in the actual #show. the costumes are really good) #i just really need to see him in heels. i feel like he would wear heathers-style heels #<- and by see i mean draw #i havent drawn him in heels yet because of the canon compliant voice in the back of my head #whatever. i'll make my own design one day and he gets to have heels then. AND a feather boa #making me pick between the LiB was evil. how can you choose #and like yeah brenda is one of the “mean girl cheerleaders” but also teenagers just talk like that #like brenda could be a real actual person and i wouldnt bat an eye #i could keep talking but it would go in circles so the bottom line is: #i love both pokey and brenda. this is a cruel question

[driftwooddestiel]

if you had to pick one youtuber to birth the second coming of christ who would it be

#anon i really tried to think of a youtuber to pick but its a really tough question im ngl… someone like markiplier would be very funny #but so would many other youtubers ie dan howell or phil lester or jacksfilms or a random extreme evangelical tradwife youtube vlogger #so i cannot give you a definite answer #but thank you very much for posing such an insightful question youve made my day . legitimately delightful thing to encounter in my inbox #i did also consider some youtubers based off of whether theyd genuinely be good parents to the second coming of christ but i decided that #funniness was a more important metric #asks

[indigodawns]

.

#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but #realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me #and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it #did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean #that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice) #but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this #i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd) #and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need #when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with? #(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how #he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything #and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like #giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh #they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like... #well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi) #anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet #but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that #and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig? #and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting #i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying #and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there

[caffeiiine]

one more thing thats been rotating around my head:

my school anime club hosts an anime con in the spring and i am genuinely so excited bc club members are staff amnd we are hsoting it! and i can host a panel!!!

#itd be my first anime con] #and also why part of the reason im trying to homemake a cosplay so i can have a cool one to wear #so many panel ideas are running around my head #i wanna make it bsd themed but im unsure how popular that would be #so i was thinking since im planning to go in dead apple fyodor cosplay #fyodor has that one line i really love “welcome to happy group counseling hour!! Im your host-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky” #and it sounds like hes introducing a game show (im not gonna force the panel goers into a counseling hour sobs dwdw) #SO my idea was anime themed game show w/ good prizes corresponding to the animes i picked the questions from #like itd INCLUDE bsd but it wouldnt be only about bsd is what im saying #therefor making it more appealing to the general con goers!!! #god its in may and im beginning to prepare for it now help me #of course i have a fuck ton of time to prepare but ive always liked to have my details in check long before the actual thing happens #i feel sorry for you and am deeply thankful if you read through my mess of thoughts #ily! /p :D #actually goodnight now its like 1:30am and id prefer to sleep earlier than i did last night <3 #sodaramblestoomuch

[fluffypotatey]

you

you get it

(talking about Azure)

stop it! i’m blushing! 🥰

#also i am sorry to cloud for ranting on their azure poll twice bc i don’t actually talk about azure much but i do have thoughts about him #like listen *pulls up chair and sits right next to you* #he is written to be sympathetic #Azure is written to be a likable antagonist and someone we could believe has a good heart but ended up on the wrong side of the story #BUT!!! *taps presentation screen that was totally here with us the whole time* #Azure is an antagonist #Azure was never meant to be redeemable #why? #well remember when MK tries to reason with Azure that maybe he’s mistaken about his view of Wukong? #and how Azure interrupts him stubbornly reaffirming his skewed and biased vowed of swk? #this was flag number 1 #and have y’all fucking HEARD the way he speaks????? does anyone else like feel their skin crawl???? #have you not met someone who believes that they have everyone in the palm of their hands??? that they can convince you of anything???? #bc that’s like the first thing i picked up #also how Azure used similar mannerisms to swk but it just seems for forced and mechanical or was that just me???? #anyway #moral of the story: i would (if i had the ability) totally punch Azure & mock him but also he’s got really juicy narrative writing #he was clearly written with the intent to make MK doubt and question his loyalties (which MK just chews him out for in the special 😍) #lmk #lmk azure lion #asks

[altruistic-meme]

im going to be watching go2 tomorrow with my sister but that will not stop me from watching it now too

#I've already seen it 567 times #so this is fine #but i DID finally manage to get to drag one of my sisters out to watch it with me #and it'll be her first time watching it #which is exciting for me :) #i have to pick her up and do her off but that's worth it #I'm gonna try and ask her questions while i drive just like 'what do you remember if s1' etc #and ask her if she wants me to be quiet or if she wants commentary if i have any #and also tell her that she can be as vocal during as she wants since I've already seen it I'm not worried about hearing jt #and tell her if she had any questions about anything to ask bc its likely i know the answer djjadkkakd #anyeay #I'm a little bit excited :) #im still sad that my other sister doesn't want to watch with me specifically bc that really sucks #and i would rather watch with her bit #but #I'm gonna make the most of it #i do havr to clean my apartment some rough :') #shh ac #good omens

[girlscience]

Last paper I was going to read has been read... it was the most interesting to me. It was about low-head dam removal and it's effects on the community make up of the fish populations in those streams. It was not a study performed by the guy I am talking to tomorrow, it was actually a grad thesis by a student that worked with him in the aquatic sciences center. Now I just have to figure out the answers to a couple questions I was recommended to have answers to because they seem likely to be asked.

#I still don't have any good questions to ask him though *sobbing* #I have questions about like the timing of the research because mostly everything I saw was longer than a grad degree will take #I want to know how they pick their research projects because there are so many things that could be researched #but otherwise its just statements #I want to learn fish dissection and identification. I want to learn how to use R. I want to refresh/understand statistics #I was most interested in the studies that were done on things like the dam-removal effect and riparian vs agriculture streams #the studies on fish population demographics were interesting and important but didn't quite capture me the same way #I guess I can just say that these were the things I found interesting and would like to study and be involved in #but that because I don't have much (any) experience creating my own experiments #or with aquatic ecosystems I am not really sure what a good research question would be but that I want to learn #..... I don't know if that's great though because it might just make me seem inexperienced #in a way that would not be beneficial to a lab. like that I wouldn't be bringing anything to the table #but on the other hand if you are expecting a brand new grad student to have all the answers what are you doing #but also I have been out of school and been working for 4 years so I should be more mature and have a better grasp of science #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA JUST WHAT IF IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH #i am so stressed

[flufflecat]

can writers stop amounting their characters to such a husk of themselves that them literally killing themselves for no reason is considered a good death

#suicide mention #technically? #can you guess whom this is about #I'll give you two guesses and both of them are probably right if you know me well enough #did you guess gojo and also crowley from supernatural for some reason?? well if so.. ding ding ding! #correct answer!!! #like sorry you're all terrible writers but uhhhh no it's not satisfying for a character to die doing LITERALLY nothing #and sacrifice themselves just for the sake of getting them out of the narrative #how do you fuck up so bad that your message is 'suicide is the better option' #'their lives sucked really bad and they were sad or something so actually this is a better option and is super heroic' #just say you don't know how to write your own characters. just say those words for me you shitty writers. #admit it #stop trying to write 'dramatic plot altering sacrifices' when the only plot in question is one of your own contrivances #'well they were sad in life but don't worry!! they're dead as shit now :)' #wow what a good meaningful story. thank you I didn't look at it that way. I didn't realize suicide is so good as a backup #LIKE?!?? #if you take two seconds to pick apart the narratives this is the message that you find #and it's a bad message #can editors like.. stop this sometime #can any editor ever perhaps be allowed to say 'maybe write something less stupid and bad' #once again greed fma proves superior in that his sacrifice actually meant something and wasn't just a useless goddamn suicide #when your characters can avoid death through their actions but choose to die for.. some inexplicable reason #than that's just suicide lite lol #and no. shoehorning in that someone is just 'looking for a worthy opponent' #(as if you just watched kung fu panda last night and thought tai lung was the protagonist) #does not make their death ~~Meaningful~~~~~~ #I wrote this rant in the tags bc I didn't wanna put it on people's dashes for real #and read mores bore me #read my tags if you want to see into the anger that festers in my soul because of poorly written characters from dumb media #I should stop liking characters other than greed. he's really the only character that ever matters

[skeletoninthemelonland]

Hi (the wbpfp guy), i was doing a "comic" about wb life between normal people, and I dont know how to continue after a car accident, soo I ask you, the person I relay this, what I do to continue?? (It can be anything, just to continue it)

The way you are putting it leaves it very vague for many possibilities. The people on the car survived the accident? If so, how badly injured they were? Was it because of a fight or some other kind of distraction? Will they reconsiliate after recovering?

#can't really tell you what to do. but perhaps help you rise new questions #a good way to come up with a continuation is to note down every idea. even if it doesnt 'sound right' or 'isnt cool enough' #just note it down. pick the best one and keep writing #you may also find the answer at some point while writing

[theheadlessgroom]

https://www.tumblr.com/beatingheart-bride/714102344819884032/theheadlessgroom-beatingheart-bride

@beatingheart-bride

The soft, slow melody of the violin began to waft through the cool, crisp air outside the mausoleum, Randall’s heart pounding as he played, his eyes fixed on the door to the crypt: He couldn’t tell if his racing pulse was because this was the first time he’d ventured beyond the walls of the opera house in many, many years (even with his face so obscured, the notion of being spotted set a cold, aching pit in his gut) or because he was nervous the prospect of speaking with Emily after six long months of silence, but at any rate, he could feel himself quivering beneath the dark layers he used to hide himself in.

And yet, he still played for her, a haunting melody that he was sure would be familiar to her-the love theme from Don Juan Triumphant. He just put the bow to the strings and began to play, and that was the song that came-perhaps it was a plea for her to hear him out, perhaps it was a confession of love (love she once held for him, he realized all too late), perhaps it was an effort to comfort her in the midst of her mourning, or perhaps some combination of the three. At any rate, he was there, and for all his fear, he was glad to be with her.

“Emily...” he whispered softly on the wind, his voice mournful and tender as he called to her, eyes pleading as he watched the door, waiting to see her: He could only hope that she would be willing to hear him out. He had so much to tell her...

#((oh you know that's EXACTLY how it went! wilhelm probably spotted emily first and pointed her out to june)) #((and she agreed that she seemed like a sweet; if lonely young woman; with a good heart)) #((and felt she and randall would make a good match-and her being blonde certainly helps matters; he *is* a sucker for 'em!)) #((constance is the only exception to that!)) #((and oh yeah; little leota went right for the jugular and called his ass out!! that mask he's got really *is* slipping)) #((his true ugliness is coming out; and little leota is picking up on it right off the bat!)) #((obviously we noted that she wasn't keen on him to begin with earlier in the rp; and i'm sure that things haven't gotten better)) #((now that he and emily are engaged; and this is just furthering that dislike!)) #((and good question! i know we've discussed the 'dark shadows' in the past; so that's on the table as a potential follow-up)) #((so that's on the table; i admit that i'm drawing a blank beyond that; have there been any others we've been thinking about in the past?)) #((also: happy easter!)) #outofhatboxes #beatingheart-bride #V:Phantasm of the Mansion

[pathologising]

What do you think about reality, like are we real?

We are real!!!! and made up of trillions upon trillions of atoms and it's awesome!!!!!!! I don't believe any ideas that we are in a matrix or anything like that I think it's rather fantastical and a product of people trying to find some sort of order in a world that is entirely random. The human brain seeks order in a world built to trend towards ever-increasing entropy so we make up fantastical ideas to help explain it all and maintain some sort of control over everything and explain things we don't immediately understand. It's also more exciting to some people to believe stories or conspiracies like that but personally i don't like them.

#unreality #i think theories like that act as a shield for peoples fears you know...the idea that this is somehow planned or a simulation #is easier than taking account of the fact that things are random and we in the grand scope of things 'insignifigant' #but personally i think its beautiful that the world is relatively random and not built on any plan or matrix sequence #because it means when we realise this we can ultimately decide to find and add signifigance to the randomness #and that choice offers a better control over life and yourself rather than just believing conspiracy theories that when picked apart #hold no real weight #also like...we can anx have observed the layers that make us up from atoms to cells #with the correct equipment #saying we arent real discounts the beauty of science and the beauty of our existence #at least to me. anyway really good question

[depresseddepot]

explained autism poorly today. will never recover from this

#it was to a very close friend so im not super worried abt it #we were just discussing reasons why therapy/getting an autism diagnosis was difficult and she asked me how i knew at first #and rather than giving the real examples and evidence i have i nervously gave conjecture bc we haven't ever really talked abt it before #again she's a very good friend of mine but. man do i feel stupid lol #instead of explaining masking and my raads-r score and what that means and how it affects me i talked abt shit i barely even remember #like girl. you better not fuck it up like this when you're actually trying to get a diagnosis lmao i swear to god #im being sort of silly but im also actually extremely disappointed in myself that ive done this much research #and at the first question i stumbled so hard that i was like. telling a story rather than giving evidence #its not like i cant rectify it like it isnt as if we'll never talk abt it again but #ugh #i need to learn how to slow down and pick my words without getting nervous about the silence/the wait #or i could die. that would solve it pretty quickly i think #vent #sorry